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#like i really wish i could feel a normal amount of emotions about the things i like

dr-spectre · 2 days

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My Splatoon Idol Headcanons!

Im so normal about them, like totally...... (note, some of them may be more serious than lighthearted so keep that in mind. i have warned you.)

Callie

Has ADHD

Got a permanent version of the octopus tattoo that she keeps hidden with make-up when on stage. She sees it as a reminder that she has grown and to always believe that she is loved and to never listen to the dark thoughts that lie in her head

Hides most of her issues from everyone no matter how big or small because she’s scared to upset her family and friends. She'll only tell what's going on with her if someone REALLY presses her about it

Always talks to Frye after each Splatfest loss to make sure she’s okay. She cheered extremely loudly when Team Bucket List won

Can be kind of clingy around her friends and family

Marie

Is on the autism spectrum but has not told anyone due to feeling shame about it

Considers Agent 3 family and treats them extremely nicely. She knew what happened to them in the Deepsea Metro

Massive Pokémon fan

Constantly worries about Callie and was told by her that she willingly left with the Octarians. Marie checks up on her every day and needs to make a call with her otherwise she’ll get fidgety and restless

Best friends with Marina and Big Man and they hang out when their schedules all line up

Pearl

Used to have an eating disorder that affected her health badly before she met Marina, she is currently working on eating better with Marina's help

Feels guilt and shame over being very rich and tries to do all she can to help out less fortunate people via charity and music

Has sleeping problems and needs Marina to be in the same bed with her to fall asleep

She still keeps up with the heavy metal scene and loves seeing new artists pop up

Loves outer space and being high in the air

Marina

Is on the autism spectrum and has told Pearl about it which she accepts and still loves her all the same

Wears her headphones as much as she can because she’s very sensitive to certain sounds and other sensations. If she becomes too overstimulated, she needs Pearl’s help to calm her down

She loves to ramble on social media about her special interests and machinery

Is a workaholic and doesn’t like to relax for long periods of time, she must be doing something

Wants to adopt Eight as her child but she hasn't gotten around to it or asked Eight about it due to her schedule

Shiver

Has a strained relationship with her father and mother and has low contact with them

Has an addiction to juice and can chug down several boxes of it every day, she has kept this addiction hidden from Frye and Big Man but they have noticed an odd amount of juice boxes in the garbage

Seeks companionship and deep connections with people badly but hides it with a cold exterior because she's scared of getting hurt or betrayed. She sometimes cries at night because she thinks she’s all alone and wants to be held

Was an extreme perfectionist at high school and would get upset if she got decent or poor grades

Wears pajamas all the time at home and isn't the most hygienic

Frye

Has a plushie collection that she keeps on her bed

May have ADHD but she has not gotten a diagnosis for it yet

Has issues with analysis paralysis and can never decide things easily

Can be a bit too overbearing with her siblings but she means well and loves them to death

Is deep down insecure about her appearance from seeing comments about her body online and trains her body constantly to feel good about herself

Big Man

Is constantly overworked and wishes he could just relax

Has a vinyl collection where he has boxes upon boxes of vinyl records

Is secretly a big fan of Off the Hook and the Squid Sisters

He’s a pro bowling player and takes it VERY seriously even amongst friends

Hates getting into arguments and gets very emotional even at the slightest of criticisms

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shadowy-suitcase-herring-neck · 4 months

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Infection au part 4: Outbreak

the infection is no longer confined. you all get a little writing blip to enjoy as well :D pictures are at bottom. Tw blood/gore and disturbing imagery. also implied death. because of the amount of blood.

It had been several days since Dream, swap and Ink Found Cross lying on the ground. Several days since one of their enemies started pleading with them to help with something. Cross had been an emotional wreak the entire time. It almost hurt for Dream to be near him.

The panic and terror was overwhelming. Of course that didn't stop people saying this was some elaborate plan by Nightmare to do some sort of evil. Dream knew this wasn't true though. The emotions where real enough.

Right now though Dream was making his way to the room cross was in. It was really a glorified prison cell but at least it wasn't as bad as it could have been, considering Cross was a part of the most feared gang in the entire multiverse.

Dream stopped to greet the guards and was let in. The room wasn't lavish by any means but it had a bit of coziness to it, or maybe that was just his hopeful thinking. Cross was sitting on the bed picking at the magic canceling cuffs.

He looked up and spotted Dream. A mix of emotions always came from him whenever he was aware of the guardians prescience. There was an immediate sense of distrust and wariness but also a bit of reluctant hope. Even if he disliked dream he was aware that he was more likely to help than others.

"hey Cross" Dream said, his voice friendly.

Cross nodded in response. "what does the council say.."

"They still think it's a trap Cross." Dream sounded regret seep into his voice. He had to admit his story was rather hard to believe.

A look of anger Appeared on Cross's face. He looked like he was about to scream something in frustration but was interrupted by a guard opening the door. "Dream, we have reports of Nightmare and his team attacking underswap." Dream was confused. Normally he could sense the presence of his brother outside of wherever he his his base. Dream was then aware of the sudden increase of negativity in his friends au. Nightmare had never attacked such a positive au, doing so might have weakened him enough to risk capture or defeat. "I'm Coming, where is Blue and Ink?" Dream said heading to the door with a sense of urgency. Cross grabbed his arm making the guard step forward. "Dream please, Don't... just... Just you have to help Them- Don't let them get You. You can't help them if you end up infected- " The guard pressed the spear against cross's chest threateningly. He let go of dream and backed off. "Please- " Dream Nodded and left the room not fully understanding what exactly cross was asking him. The feeling of unease grew in his soul as he also felt the negativity in under swap rising. He found Swap waiting for him with Ink. The skeleton was obviously impatient to get going. the only thing stopping his was likely the fact he couldn't fight Nightmare's gang on his own. Dream made a portal and stepped through with his teammates. The terror dream sensed once he walked through was enough to make him stumble. It was so strong- "Dream..." Blue sounded shocked and fearful.. Dream looked up he wished he hadn't

btw there are more infected atm. several actually. The gang didn't stay in the castle very long after cross left this is just the first big attack. I couldn't draw all the infected currently attacking and they aren't very big to the story. The Infection has been spreading a bit under the radar.

#undertale au #nightmare sans #herrings art #utmv #infected au #bad sanses #cross sans #killer sans #horror sans #dust sans #Nightmare sans #Dream sans #star sanses #tw blood #tw implied violence #tw implied death

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yourpsicodelicbitch · 10 months

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WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS RELY ON ME?!??! astro placements

NAUDLINE PIERRE - EN

Sun 4H on Ascendant Persona Chart

ALWAYS people I know for a short period of time believe in me like if I was someone that knows everything’s gonna be okay. they love the security and home vibes I give. they’re often searching for my assurance and hugs. they’ve told me I give “mother” vibes 😭 and I tell things realistically but in a way other people understand with calm.

Jupiter 1H on Ascendant Persona Chart

Influence. That’s the word. Jupiter 1H on pc influence and -OMG-, at the point, it influence and form others lives and character. They attract people by being themselves, they’re the light that stands out on the crowd. The palm of their hand touches grass and flowers start growing 🌷✨🧚‍♀️🌈 they’re THAT person. Imagine how exhausting it’ll be to be popular bc many people relay on you. How optimistic and trustworthy, sincere and confident…too good to be true: they’re exhausted -what I’ve said before-. To suppress all emotions seen as negative, that are not accepted for the ones around you, or to have that pressure your whole life of being the support of everyone, except yours.

*birth chart aspects:

Sun trine Pluto

They trust you. They have faith in you. Why? You know what you want, you’re not lost, you have a clear vision of your path and how you’re gonna make it. You have these confidence that attracts people. Your inner strength feels right and that you recognize it and your weaknesses and positive traits. A natural leader. You see what others don’t, you’re always doubting or not trusting a situation 100%, they can stay calm bc of you. You see potential in things that normally are taken back or ignored. I don’t think you really care about what others may think but what’s behind that’s happening seduces you. People are drawn to you.

Moon conjunction Midheaven

another placement that gives mother vibes, although has more influence referring to a public or a bigger amount of people. your image is impecable in terms of being liked by others: sympathetic, caring and warm -just like you wish your mom was-. you’re diplomatic. they feel accepted and they belong with you. your mother it’s a really important person in your life that influent you in a way, how others see you treating them reflects on how your mom did it with you. MATERNAL INSTINCTS. INTUITION. you could be too protective over your friends or who’s on your life at the moment. the thing is that you can explode on an unexpected moment or it’ll seem unexpected bc everyone around you project this motherly image of you. you could seem too “strict mother” or taking too much time worrying about others or to not “disturb” them.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astrology #astro observations #pinterest #astro posts #astro placements #astro notes #birth chart #ascendant persona chart #pc #moon aspects #Midheaven #sun 4H #Jupiter #moon conjunction Midheaven #sun trine pluto #Jupiter 1H

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heyidkyay · 1 month

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty-Three

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: Another update this week?? I'm as shocked as anyone else, but hopefully this one will make up a little for the last! It's longer and a little less, um, idk, I can't say emotional?? because that would be a lie:/ Still, there are some developments! Also, it'll make sense a lot later but the 2nd image and the use of a Ride song are used in this one!

Hope you enjoy! Also thank you for all the love on this current series, it means a whole lot and keeps me writing xx

Warnings: similar to that of the last post! so pls look back there if you'd like to know!:)

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

“I said no.”

Stressed was a feeling beyond words at this point. The past couple of days all I’d had was press hounding at me, calling and texting, emailing at all hours of the fucking day. They wouldn’t let up, even after I’d stayed silent. Adi reckoned it was mostly down to Teddy’s involvement in the whole thing. I didn’t want to think much more about it, although I knew she wasn’t wrong.

“Give me a reason at least?"

I shot a scathing glare over my shoulder before turning back to the filing system I’d taken to reorganising. It was my first morning back at the studio since... yeah, well Finn had Teddy- another factor to my current load of stress- whilst Adi was off doing something or other. I hadn’t asked, fearful of putting more of a strain on her current friendship- relationship??- with Ross, so instead I’d just chosen to tidy and rearrange the entire setup we had going on here. Because that was perfectly normal. And not a fucking way to evade talking or thinking about the mess that was my life. Okay?

“I don’t need a fucking reason, I just don’t want to.” I retorted, hissing slightly when I suddenly cut my thumb on the edge of a document. I withdrew my hand quickly and raised it towards my mouth, letting my eyes slip close for a moment when I heard a footfall step closer.

“Let me see.” Jamie sighed, probably thinking I’d done something worse to my hand than just a papercut. To be fair, the cabinet was old. One of them filing types from the ninety’s that we’d gotten for a score down at some boot sale, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of us did eventually end up losing an arm.

I shook my head and pushed the cabinet drawer closed, “It’s fine, just a papercut.”

Jamie huffed an amused chuckle before settling down on the edge of the desk nearby. It was Adi’s, you could tell from the sheer amount of shit she had accumulating it.

“One thing after another with you.”

My head tilted towards him with a deadened expression, “Ha ha.”

The older man raised his hands up in a mocking surrender, showing he hadn’t meant any real harm. “Too soon?”

I kicked at the toe of the leather boots he wore in retort as I moved towards the kitchenette, aware that he was just trying to lighten my horrendous mood but not really in the right mind for it.

“You want a brew?” I asked, not bothering to give him an honest reply to that question of his. Too soon? Yes, that was all too fucking true.

“Have a coffee if there’s one going.”

I dipped my head in a slight nod, filling the kettle and setting it to boil before snagging the coffee often reserved for guests on the show from a shelf nearby.

Jamie moved to better face me on Adi’s desk as I did so, wearing that same expression he’d turned up in, all concerned and weary. It bothered me a bit, seeing as though it was all I had garnered since the press had had their field day with my life, but I could also understand why. They all just seemed to feel for the idiot stupid enough to fall into another of Matty Healy’s traps.

“Stop.”

“Stop what?” He wondered around a light chortle at my demand, hands falling to rest between his thighs.

I gestured towards his face whilst I poured a splash of milk into my mug, “Looking at me like that, like I’m gonna break or something.”

With a sigh, he pressed his lips together. “You know it’s not like that.” I rolled my eyes in return but he just bounded on, “You know it’s not, I just care is all.”

I forced out a breathless chuckle, “That why you’re here trying to get me to hear him out then?”

To be fair to him, Jamie had come right out with it when he’d first popped by, having messaged me asking after my whereabouts earlier this morning. I’d told him, having spoken to him quite a bit over the last couple days, and then found him on the doorstep.

Jamie had been good with everything. He’d let me vent, rally against one of his friends and clients, question his own motives- and hadn’t even complained one bit. But now he was here asking me to give Matty a chance, a lot like he’d done that first time around in that small cafe all those months ago.

“I know you’re angry, you have every right to be.”

“Of course I’m fucking angry!” I immediately shot back at him, the rattle of the teaspoon ringing out as I dropped it into a mug, “I wouldn’t care if it had just been me he’d gone and fucked over! But he brought Teddy into this shit, Jamie. My son! So tell me, how am I supposed to hear him out after he’s done something like that and then lied about it? For weeks, mind you.”

Jamie looked back at me, wearing that ‘this meant business’ mug of his. I slumped at the sight, pressing my knee against one of the lower cabinets to continue stirring the drinks. I didn’t care, I didn’t care, I didn’t care.

“There’s a lot you don’t know, Mouse.”

My eyes slipped closed at his words and I took a second to just breathe. Because I wasn’t angry, not really. I was hurt and humiliated, and just so fucking sad. Fed up with it all, if I was being honest. Enough so that I knew that Jamie was being truthful here- and not just because it was a fact that I hadn’t spoken to Matty since things had fallen apart, but also because I hadn’t had the heart to ask Teddy about things yet. Or if ever.

The kid was four. Four, and asking after a man every night before he fell asleep and then as soon as he opened his eyes the next morning.

He knew something was up, he was smart like that. But what was I meant to do- to say? When I was just as confused as he was.

I’d ended up leaving him with Finn today, having had no other choice in the situation because the nursery was closed for an inset day, or some shite like that, and it seemed I had no other friends than the few around me.

Could quite literally count the lot of them on one hand.

But still, Finn and I’s relationship had still been rather rocky after that whole incident with him and Matty, and hadn’t improved since. In fact, he’d been a little unbearable about everything, always one to toot his own horn whenever he was right about something. But it was always slyly and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was a constant dig, like even when he wasn’t commenting on it he was still thinking it whenever he looked at me.

Which felt so horrible to think, let alone say out loud. He was my best friend. So I’d kept my mouth shut and just dealt with it, like I did everything else in life.

“He’s messed up about it.” Jamie then spoke, his voice having startled me a tad, breaking me out of my musings. He was watching me again, only when he did it, it didn’t feel as condescending as everyone else's. Like he understood my position. And I guessed that he probably sort of did.

“I bet.” I scoffed quietly, an airy titter escaping through my nose, and then I turned to toss my teabag away.

“It’s true.” Jamie shrugged, then nodded in thanks when I pushed a coffee his way. “He’s been ‘round Ross’s ever since shit hit the fan, hasn’t left the flat. Driving the lot of us mad, but he’s torn up, Mouse.”

Tongue in cheek, I wrapped my hands around my cup and propped my hip up against the counter, staring into the still swirling liquid. “Serves him right, I guess.” I replied with a soft shrug of my own, though we both knew I didn’t quite mean it.

Jamie looked over towards one of the windows to the right, most of them were either way too long or too tiny for the space, an odd build, but this particular one gave way to the skyline lying over the remainder of the city. I often wondered what the lower levels might look out at, thinking it was probably the majority of the surrounding buildings, and couldn’t help but feel a little thankful that we’d managed to snag this unit.

When he glanced back over at me, I took a sip and let him speak.

“A lot went on, that much I know, and it’s your choice how you deal with it. But, I saw the two of you. I saw him change. Which is stupid to say, I know, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. He was different with you, he actually tried in other aspects of his life and not just with the band and the music. He looked genuinely happy.” He smiled softly at the eye roll I gave, but it didn’t appear to deter him. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you didn’t fucking cure him. Don’t work like that, does it? But you helped. You and Teddy both.”

I looked away then, back towards the window, unable to really help it, and instead allowed my eyes to trail over the clouds which powdered the dusty blue sky.

“It was different. Things were different, and I know that there was love there. There couldn’t not have been. The way he looked at you…” Jamie shook his head ever so slightly as he breathed out, unaware of just how deeply his words had cut. But then he peered over at me and I found myself already looking back, air caught somewhere in the swell of my lungs.

“Don’t.” I choked out, the grip on my mug having tightened tenfold. “Just,” I shook my head.

Jamie put his coffee down on the desk and moved to stand, hands raised to convey he wasn't a threat. “I’m not saying this to hurt you more, love. Just telling you how I saw it.”

I licked at my lower lip, casting my eyes downwards. Our silence stretched and all could be heard was the odd car horn and chirp from beyond the walls of the studio, until-

“Anyone here?”

I blinked back the tears which had started to well in my eyes and sniffed, head shooting up just in time to spot a familiar giant ducking their head under the beam of the doorway, limbs following right after.

George entered but then stopped short when he spotted his manager stood by me, and I laughed to myself at the way the pair of them seemed to eye one another, before stepping in, “Didn’t hear you ring the buzzer.”

Kind eyes darted over to find my soft smile then, welcoming him in, and so George finally moved in closer, laying the jacket he wore to rest over one of the armchairs.

“Yeah, someone was just leaving and let me in.” He answered my unasked question, shrugging as he added, “Dunno whether they recognised me or if they just let anyone up.”

“Probably the second,” Jamie piped up, seemingly having broken himself from his previous bout of surprise, “This lot ‘round here don’t give much of a shit about crap like that.”

I rolled my eyes, but was glad to have a reason to smile slightly. “Or they spotted the BFG making his way over and wanted to avoid pissing him off.”

Jamie cackled whilst George just shot me a narrow-eyed look, “Hilarious. That pot just boiled?” He asked me as he wandered over. I nodded in turn and moved to grab him a cup, only faltering when he lowered my hand with his own and shook his head. “I got it.”

I dipped my head slightly, blinking before taking a step back to let him work. He made a quick go of it, rummaging around the cupboards briefly to find what he needed and only asking for the spoon I still held for some odd reason when he was near done.

Jamie appeared to have been watching him too, a calculating glaze to his eyes, and he chose that next moment to speak up, “How you been anyway, George? Not seen much of you lately.”

Something unspoken passed between them when George glanced over at him, but I couldn’t tell what.

“Good, busy.” Was what the taller decided on, throwing Jamie a quick smile when he crossed to toss his own teabag in the bin before settling on the counter to the left of me. “You?”

It almost sounded sarcastic, not how he said it but simply because he’d asked it at all, knowing everything that had recently occurred. It must have been a right nightmare for Jamie these last few days, what with him being the band’s main man.

Jamie just laughed though, goodnaturedly, though it was apparent that he was still trying to suss out what was going on, what with George’s sudden appearance. Seeing as I’d never once mentioned him to Jamie.

See, things with George had all started after that studio session Teddy had attended, followed by my wishing him a happy birthday just before Matty had gone and done what he did best. Wrecked it all.

Teddy had become all too smitten with the drummer since he’d first been introduced to the band and their many songs and music videos. He enjoyed the guitar he’d been gifted an awful lot, often playing with it and practising, but each time any sort of song played on the tele or the radio, or even in the car, it wasn’t hard to note the way Teddy instantly mimicked George’s swift movements, pretending to drum along to whatever beat heard.

George had messaged me on Instagram later that same day, seeing as how apparently Teddy’s appearance at the studio had stuck with him, and asked after him a little. It seemed strange worded like that, but George reckoned that Teds had a real streak of a musicality about him, even as young as he was, and wanted to see if Teddy would be up for learning some more.

Which had been a Godsend, honestly, what with how the next couple of days had gone down. I’d given him my number via dm just before the storm had started and then the afternoon that had followed the plethora of articles he’d called.

He’d asked how I was at first, almost consoling me in that easy way of his, so full of little words, which had been all too refreshing in truth.

I’d had texts and calls off of practically everyone I knew, even Ronan, the utter prick. And none had managed to soothe me quite like George’s had, seeing as the man had been there too. Not quite in my position, sure, but near enough. He’d even let a little of it slip when he’d popped on over that same day, bringing a bag of takeaway and a roll up drum mat as a gift for Teddy, who had been cooped up with me on the sofa for most of the afternoon.

The two of them had bonded over it rather quickly, Teddy having been caught off guard by George’s sincerity almost as much as I had been. But then I'd found myself getting to know the drummer too and very much appreciating the unnecessary gesture he’d made for me, even with the pair of us not knowing one another as well as we could have.

I had no idea what was going on between him and Matty, I hadn’t had the balls to ask, but he’d mentioned he hadn’t heard much of anything from him since the night of his party, as well as the fact that his girlfriend, Charli, had been just as annoyed with everything that had gone down.

I knew he’d be stopping by at some point today, we’d made plans to get lunch once he’d heard I was back at the studio on my own, but not recording. I reckoned he was concerned and this was his way of showing it, but it was hard to tell with him most of the time seeing as he’d made it out as though I was doing him a favour here. An effort I came to find I much appreciated.

“Work, you know how it is.” Jamie replied after a long pause. He was still standing in the same position he’d been in since George arrived, but seemed to move then, picking up what was left of his coffee and pouring what remained down the sink. “But I’d best be going, got a couple calls to make. You gonna be at the studio tomorrow?”

George hummed around his next sip, pulling away with only a dip of his chin. “Should be.”

Jamie smiled, nodding, “Good, I’ll let the rest of them know then.”

I caught George’s slight wince at that, though he didn’t protest his manager's comment. It made me wonder.

Jamie turned to me then, shucking on his jacket. I perked up, not having realised that he really was rushing to leave now. “Remember what I said, alright?”

I blinked, but then nodded. How could I forget? I wanted to ask, but instead said, “You don’t have to head out so quick.”

He sent me a reassuring grin as he flipped over the collar of his coat. “You won’t miss me much,” He then teased before roping me into a hug, “Weren’t lying when I said I had a couple calls though, so it’s best I get out of your hair whilst I still can.”

I smiled softly at the sound of his lighthearted chuckle and nodded before following him over to the door, “Stay safe.”

Jamie rolled his eyes, all too used to my typical parting now, though amused by it all the same. “Can’t promise anything.” He retorted with a smirk, shuffling over the threshold whilst his eyes flickered back to where George still stood once more. “So, about before?”

I inhaled shakily, though Jamie didn’t seem to notice, fingering the pockets of his jacket in search of his mobile. “I’ll think about it.” I told him.

He flashed me a grin at that, pleased, then let his heel trail over to meet the top step of the metal grating. “Talk to you later then.”

I nodded and watched for a second as he descended the staircase, head bobbing down the first set before he turned and disappeared from view. Sliding back inside, I shut the door quietly behind me, taking a second to steel my nerves before facing the room again.

During that time, George had seemingly gone and made himself comfy on the settee, his mug settled on a coffee table coaster. I moved to join him after putting both mine and Jamie’s cups under the tap to rinse before just leaving them to soak.

George was fiddling with something when I sat down beside him but shuffled over a tad to allow me to get more comfortable, “So what was that about?” I questioned.

“With Jamie?” He asked and I nodded, even though I reckoned he already knew what I was on about.

He shrugged slightly and I noted the way his finger trailed over a slip of folded paper, it was creased as though it had been played or fiddled with a dozen times too many. My brow seemed to furrow at the sight of it.

“He tried phoning a few times but I’ve not been too keen on answering, learnt that I’ll just get dragged into the drama if I do.” George finally answered, and for some reason I felt a wad of guilt pool in my stomach upon hearing it, even though I hadn’t been the one to cause this mess.

Or maybe I was just kidding myself.

“Sorry.”

George huffed as he turned to peer over at me, elbows resting on the tops of his knees. “Nothing to be sorry for.” He told me and then gifted me a sweet smile, “None of this is on you. Just thought we were in the clear, you know?” He looked away at that and his smile dimmed into something smaller, almost sadder. “Figured I wouldn’t have to go dodging my mates calls anymore, or be roped into cleaning up everyone else’s messes.”

He reached a hand out to settle on my knee then, probably having noticed the way I was chewing on the insides of my cheek, or maybe the fact that my lip was now trembling. I’d never felt so shitty. So at fault for something I hadn’t really seen coming, nor could I prevent.

“Not your fault, remember?” He reiterated to me, squeezing my joint softly before pulling away. I sniffed before looking up at him with a tiny smile.

“Promise I don’t usually cry this much. Just been a shitty week is all.” I told him, laughing pitifully as I toyed with the hem of the jumper I’d put on earlier that morning when I’d purposefully avoided the hoodie that had been left on my desk chair, as well as the cupboard full of clothes that didn’t belong to me.

I felt the settee dip slightly before I found him sitting right beside me, lifting an arm to wrap me up in a hug. His cheek came to rest on the side of my head and I felt my heart break that little bit more, because it reminded me that in a second, or two, I wouldn’t have that sense of protection he now offered, shielding me from the rest of the world.

“You’ve been put through the wringer.” George murmured and I had to laugh just a little bit, he laughed too, the sound of it reverberating through his chest to where my head rested. “Fucking cry if you want to, alright? No judgement here."

I spluttered a little on my next chuckle, smiling as I wiped at my eyes. George’s arm just tightened its hold by a fraction, as though he knew it would make things that little bit easier. We both sat there like that for a while, and I appreciated the fact that he was okay with a bit of quiet. That he didn’t run scared from it or try to start up an awkward conversation simply to fill it.

Silence was something I’d come to realise that George often favoured. Because sometimes that was all you really needed.

I don’t know how long we continued like that before he shuffled and pulled that same piece of paper from earlier back into view, holding the corner of it between his forefinger and thumb. I pulled away slightly, looking down at it and then back up at him with a small frown.

“What?”

George merely blinked, staring down at the paper with an odd look before he finally placed it in the hand I had resting on my thigh. My frown only deepened.

“What is it?” I asked him, finger trailing over an edge just as he had done when I’d first spotted it. When I went to unfold it from the opposing corner, he stopped me.

Confused, I turned to raise a brow at him, only to find him already looking back at me. He bit into his lower lip and then flattened his mouth into a stern line, “I found that when I was last in the studio.”

My chest tightened for some reason, but I was still so baffled. “Okay?”

We were sitting up better now, George’s arm having slipped from my shoulders to come to rest in his lap, fingers trailing over his left hand’s rigid set of knuckles.

“I figured you should see it.” He added in his usual drawl, though his eyes flickered up from the paper to catch mine then and I realised it must've been important. He seemed wary enough to warrant it.

I went to unfold it once again, but then his hand really reached out to stop my own, “I don’t know if I should be here when you do.”

That alone made me even more curious, although there was an edge of caution that now warred at me. “Why?”

George gifted me a gentle smile, the hand that still laid over top of my own squeezing kindly. “I’ll go grab us some food, alright? If you want to open it then do, if not. I won’t mention it again.”

He moved to stand then but my hand shot out to grab at the sleeve of his arm, “George.” But I didn’t know what else to say, I knew I was fearful though.

His fingers moved to meet mine, resting there for a short moment, “It’s your choice. Just, I couldn’t keep it from you.”

I swallowed thickly as he pushed to his feet, the scuff off his heavy boots bouncing off the hardwood floors. Slowly he moved to grab his jacket, giving me time to say no, to deny his offer. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do much of anything really.

The door shut behind him with a soft click a minute later and the quiet of the studio suddenly consumed me. When I glanced back down at the paper I held once more I saw the slight tremble of my hands. I forced myself to exhale, but even that was shaky.

I was careful as I unfolded it, listening to the rustle it made before scrawled lines that had bled through to the other side caught my attention. Pausing, I took a moment to just look at them and then thoughtlessly hurried to reveal the rest of it, taking in its full form. My throat tightened at the sight of familiar scribbles.

You had me from the start Pulling all the stops out On the down low, secretly But I think you knew your psychology Was working on me Infatuated And doing this all wrong You've got My number and my name And you've got me going Yeah, you've got me going Can I see you every day? Do you love me Like I love you? Ah, you've got me going Yeah, you've got me going

(Song: Ride - Future Love)

It was as if something in me had shifted and then turned, sparking itself its very own flame on a bone too sharp and growing and growing until its singed edges burnt and blackened every part of me.

I must've sat there staring down at it for ages. Crying silently and alone in an empty room, something I’d been avoiding doing since this had all started. Though I supposed it had been inevitable.

His words. His thoughts. Bared to me on a single page. Him none the wiser to any of it. Probably having not even realised it was gone, or missing. And George had read it. He’d seen it and still, after everything, had given them to me.

A tear dropped from my chin then, blotting the page and I could only watch on as the dark ink appeared to cling to it, seeping further and further into the paper. Smudging the ‘Do you love me’ enough so that my breath stuttered and I was suddenly moving all too quickly for my mind to catch up with my thoughtless actions.

Not even a second later my phone was in my hand.

Messages now To: Jamie O (glasses!) When can he meet me?

–

Matty had always had a thing for Sundays.

There was just something about them. Not all that Godly shite that people preached about it being holy and the first day of the week, ‘cause to him Monday would always hold that title- and Monday’s fucking sucked dick.

No, it was because there was just something peaceful that settled on Sundays, it took him back to simpler times, of days when he’d just been a kid and roast dinners were spent ‘round his nana’s house. Or when Newcastle would play on afternoons and his dad would finally be home to watch with him.

There was just something about them, you know. He didn’t much believe in luck, typically only the bad sort. But if someone held a gun to his head and told him he had to claim a day which would forever work in his favour, it would just have to be Sunday.

Still, he was unsure on where he currently stood with that sentiment as of late. Seeing as how he was currently in the backseat of a cab, jittery hands clinging onto shaking knees whilst rows of houses, broken up by hues of green and blue, rolled on past him.

It hadn’t been a last minute thing, but it felt much like it. The anticipation was getting to him, he knew that much, sweat licking at the back of his neck whilst his shoulders worked their way up to the lobes of his ears.

Jamie had somehow managed it.

Called him up late last night just before Ross had headed off to bed to tell him that she would finally see him. Jamie’d asked if he’d be alright going alone or if they’d prefer a buffer there, but Matty had immediately declined. So he was doing it alone. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if that had been a misstep on his part, if it would have made things easier on her having someone there, or maybe just given him some semblance of relief as the car slowly drove its way over to her house. The very place he hadn’t stepped foot in since the night of George’s birthday party.

But he hadn’t earnt that reassurance. Felt wrong to bring somebody else along either way. So he was stuck, toying with his phone, hoping or praying that a text wouldn’t come through saying that she’d gone and changed her mind.

It had been just under a week since he’d last seen her. But it felt as though time had dragged out slowly, mocking him or maybe even torturing him for all of his many wrongdoings.

He fretted over what she might say when she caught sight of him, he himself having only spotted the state he’d worked himself into when he’d been getting ready that morning.

There were heavy bags set beneath his eyes from where he hadn’t really slept and his cheeks were hollowed in that way that they used to revert to when he’d have a particularly hard weekend way back when. If the papers caught wind of him he already knew what the first articles would say, what they would so obviously claim. But he knew the truth, just hoped that she would know it too.

He was startled from his mind at the jerk of the car pulling up onto the nearest curb. His eyes widened in sudden alarm when he realised just what that meant and then caught the look of dismay that crossed the driver’s face when the bloke looked back to announce that they’d arrived. If the man didn’t already think he was on something, then now he definitely did.

Matty swallowed stupidly and then tried for a smile, struggling to undo his seatbelt with the kickstart of shaking that overtook his hands. The driver took pity on him though, turning away to fiddle with something up front that probably didn’t need fiddling with, and finally Matty’s thumb managed to catch the button.

Releasing himself from the confines of the car, he paused just before the door could slam close behind him, handing the man a couple notes in tip, if only to apologise for his edgy behaviour or buy himself a little more time if the driver had somehow managed to suss him out even with his hat, hood and scarf. “Cheers.” He said.

The man blinked at the onslaught of cash and then nodded repeatedly, “Yes, thank you.”

Matty exhaled shakily and then dipped his chin in another goodbye, stepping back onto the curb and watching the cab pull away before he found himself alone once more.

This was it, he supposed.

The street hadn’t changed much in a matter of days but his mind made it seem as though it had. As though suddenly he didn’t belong. The odd man out.

He shoved his hands into the confines of his pockets, pivoting on his heel to face what he’d come here to do. But nothing had prepared him for the way his stomach suddenly bottomed out at the sight of her front door.

The sound of a car horn a way away spooked him, causing him to jump, but did eventually force him forward off the curb and onto the cracked pavement. He stared down at all the dips and curves they had to offer him the entire way up the path until finally, he reached her front steps.

If anyone asked, Matty would tell them it was as though he’d been working on autopilot when he pried the silver knocker up from the wood and let it rap twice. Though that would be an utter lie. His head screamed at him the whole while and his fingers blurred before him when he’d raised them up to grasp at the chilled metal.

He’d never felt so sick, just standing there, the seconds slowly trickling into minutes, or perhaps even hours. It honestly felt as the day was slowly growing colder the longer that he stood there, staring at a coat of familiar paint, before finally hinges creaked and the door opened, revealing a sight that would’ve surely cured sore eyes, if only it hadn’t gone and broken his heart first.

It wasn’t immediate, the effect the past couple days had had on her. It was more in the way she held herself, the sadness which clung to her every fibre, the way she wouldn’t quite look him in the eye.

She stared, caught in a standstill, and for a long moment did nothing before silently and slowly she withdrew enough to allow him through.

Matty didn’t dare utter a word, let alone breathe. Careful to avoid brushing against her or stepping on her toes as he slowly crossed over the threshold to get in, though the hands he’d hidden in his coat pockets curled into fists to keep himself steady.

The first thing he noted upon first entering was the significant state of the flat, it wasn’t messy or untidy by any means, but looked nothing at all like a house typically inhabited by a child should, or at least a monster as chaotic as he knew Teddy to be. It was almost as though Mouse had been expecting a letting agent to pass through with a couple dozen couples, what with how clean it was. He almost reckoned that if he were to crouch down right there he’d probably be able to make out the seam of his jeans in the reflection of the floors.

“You can just hang your-”

“I know.” Matty whispered, not intentionally meaning to cut her off but unable to help himself anyway.

It hurt, feeling as though he was just a guest in a place he had practically considered home not too long ago. He coughed lightly and shrugged off his coat to do so anyway, hanging it up where he usually did, something which made him pause for a split second, wondering whether this could possibly be the last time he’d have the privilege of doing so.

“Right.” Mouse murmured somewhere behind him, snapping Matty out of his thoughts. She stepped on by him just after, eyes trained on the end of the hallway until they reached the living room, “Erm, I’m just starting on a brew. You can wait here if you want.”

He wanted to follow after her, to fall down onto his knees and fucking sob there at her feet, but he was scared he’d dirty her floors or more than likely end up looking like a total knob. He would. Fucking felt like one just from thinking it. So he did as instructed, moving towards the sofa, taking note of everything and anything the room had to offer him.

Matty’s eyes flickered over to the kitchen doorway when he realised she’d stopped there, fiddling with her nails before she caught him looking and dropped her hands. “Just realised I didn’t ask if you wanted anything.”

God, it was so fucking strained.

He took a short breath in and attempted to smile, “Tea sounds good.” Was all that he said, and watched on as her brow wrinkled, head tilting with it.

“Uh, I still have that coffee you like. The one you brought over, if you’d prefer.” She told him and he recognised her confusion for what it was, or maybe it was just her weariness over letting him know that his stuff was still where he’d left it. Or, maybe, just fucking maybe he was reading way too much into everything.

“Tea’s good.” Matty murmured, feeling a little less tense now that he knew that she was sort of sitting in the same boat. “But thanks.”

Her chest rose and fell with her next breath and he watched her nod with difficulty at him, still not meeting his eye. “Right, just be a sec then.”

She disappeared past the door with that, whilst he simply stood and listened to the run of the tap and then the flick of the kettle, feeling stupid for having missed something he hadn’t even realised he’d taken note of before.

But that was just typical, wasn’t it? To miss something so mundane now that it was no longer expected.

Once he heard the clink of mugs Matty allowed his gaze to roam, trailing over the bundle of neatly folded throws settled on the wicker basket by the sofa, ones he knew that if Teddy was here would still be scattered all over the floor before the tv.

There were a couple of coasters laid out on the coffee table, though the fruit bowl had since been removed, something he knew Mouse did whenever there were only a few pieces left or none at all. There would probably be grapes or something of the sort in the fridge though.

She had a couple of receipts left out on the shelf below the mirror she’d hung up on the wall when she’d first moved in, and the picture frames beside them were still the same. Only one was missing, and he knew which.

He noticed that the candles over by the lamp were new though, expensive if he remembered rightly because he was sure that he’d spotted them round someone else’s place recently. He wondered briefly over who could’ve gifted them to her, knowing that she much preferred her usual scents, only ever splurging on the larger Yankee Candle jars they had to offer in the local Debenhams.

He found himself smiling at the thought.

It was then that she shuffled back into the room though, stalling his observations. She carried two mugs in her hand and a small plate loaded with biscuits on her forearm. Immediately Matty moved to help her, taking the plate from her even with knowing that she had it handled.

“I could’ve managed.” She murmured, though not unkindly, and then thanked him quietly once she’d gone and placed the mugs down.

Matty followed her lead, settling the biscuits near the edge of the coffee table, between the two coasters, before fumbling for a second over where to sit. Squeaks seemed to take to one end of the settee so Matty perched on the other, though closer to the middle crease than the arm.

“You got hobnobs?” Matty finally asked, breaking the silence again, eyes flicking over to the plate he’d just held before shooting back over to find her.

She blushed faintly at his comment, then shrugged. “You like them, don’t you?”

Matty scoffed lightly, a soft smile limning his lips, “Yeah, but you hate them. Once claimed that they were like digestives only after being shat out.”

She wrinkled her nose at that, though Matty was quite sure he could spot the mirth that flickered across her face. “Want them or not?”

Rolling his eyes in fond exasperation and knowing not to push it, he picked one up and settled in a little more comfortably into the sofa cushions.

The silence would’ve been almost unbearable if she hadn’t had the foresight to have turned the tv on low before he’d arrived. So whilst a documentary played on one of the many BBC channels, Matty struggled with himself to find the best thing to say. Though he needn’t have bothered, she was always one step ahead.

“So, I think I should start by saying that I um, I know I held a lot of expectations.”

Almost simultaneously, Matty frowned.

She just wrung her hands together once before thinking better of it and laying them flat in her lap. Matty merely wished to reach out and take them in his own. “And I get that it must’ve been a struggle for you, to basically go from like one end of a scale and then jump right off the other side. But, I-”

“What are you on about?” Matty interrupted, unable to help himself in truth, so beyond baffled by the sudden speech she’d started. She stopped and blinked over at him, finally looking him in the eye. At last.

“What do you mean?” She retorted with a pinch between her brows, “Listen, I planned this all out, alright? So can I just get out what I want to say?”

Matty stared, then forced out a breath of air. “Squeaks,” She shuttered at the name, closing off slightly, enough so that Matty took quick note and wished he hadn’t said a thing, but yet, he still carried on. Desperate to save any blundered attempt he’d make. “Look, this weren’t on you. None of it was, okay?”

Her eyes trailed back over towards him at that, though her expression was almost unreadable. Matty struggled with that bit the most, he’d always been able to read her for the most part.

“So, this crap about expectations and me struggling with whatever idea you’ve made up in your mind is stupid.” Her eyes narrowed then and he watched her work her jaw, obviously none too happy about his retort. He withheld a heavy sigh, “I’m not- Look, I’m not trying to be difficult I’m just saying that- What I’m trying to say is, that every relationship has goals or expectations, that’s normal. But nothing you ever did forced me do what I did. That shit? It was all on me. It was me being insecure and scared, yeah? So, don’t go trying to excuse it. Because I’ve had people do that for me for far too fucking long now and hearing it come from you...”

He sort of felt himself slump at that, a little bitter and resentful over the fact that she’d since come to think of it that way. As though his mistakes were all just down to her and her inability to do right by him. He realised though, belatedly, that if anyone else had done exactly that, or even attempted to, in any other scenario he just might have taken up the offer and ran with it. But this was her, this was Squeaks.

She was quiet for a time, then she picked up her mug, eyes trained on the movement of it before, “What then?”

“What?” Matty frowned once more, shuffling forward in his seat in an attempt to catch her eye again.

“Why did you do it then? Why’d you lie, why didn’t you tell me about Teddy?”

That knot he’d been feeling for weeks now. The one at the very end of his tongue, all tied and tangled in the back of his throat, suddenly shrivelled up and slackened, leaving a bitter aftertaste and a plethora of guilt behind.

Matty’s gaze wandered over to the window, to where Teddy’s guitar sat in its stand just before a heavy set of grey curtains. He withheld the urge to pick at his nails as he searched for the right words to give her, wanting so honestly to tell her the truth, to give her a play by play of what had happened in detail, as well as every thought that had gone through his mind.

“It wasn’t what it looked like for a start.”

Mouse scoffed a little at that, and Matty couldn’t be mad at it. If he was sat on the other end of this he’d been doing more than just that, he’d be up in arms, tossing shit about and raving to all who would listen.

Still, his eyes trailed down to where his hands now laid in his lap and he pressed his thumb to his palm. “We were on the highstreet, on the way back here.” He started, voice quiet as his stare tracked the faint lines of his hand, “The guy you saw in the pictures came out of nowhere really. Me and Teds had just been at that ice cream shop a way down, I didn’t even spot him until he was there, in my face.”

Matty wet his lower lip, mouth suddenly going dry. Mouse just waited.

“Teddy was quick to hide behind me, you know? The loudmouth didn’t even really notice him until the last minute. But you have to know, all I wanted was to get him out of there. To avoid staying too long and attracting the wrong sort of attention. Okay? So I’d said I had to get going as soon as he'd spoken, told him I didn’t have time to stay and chat.”

He took a quick breath with that, eyes still centred on the deepest groove of his palm. “But then he, then he brought up Luke. Said something about the funeral he didn't go to and wanting to celebrate his life.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Squeaks’s hands still from their previous bout of fidgeting. “But I told him I was clean. He didn’t believe me at first, which,” Matty huffed out a self-deprecating laugh, “Well, I can’t blame him for that, what with my track record.”

He heard her inhale then and looked up, it seemed as though she was going to say something but thought better. So Matty bit down on the insides of his cheeks to keep from asking before he exhaled slowly, digging a nail into that groove.

“He got a bit aggy, started calling me a toff and whatnot, because I 'spose I was just a rich boy who bought him a couple grams of coke every now and then.” He clucked his tongue thinking about it, but eventually shrugged. “Then I don’t know, he must’ve looked down or something ‘cause that’s when he,” Matty paused and his gaze shot over to her, then away again, “That’s when he spotted Teddy.”

Mouse wrinkled her mouth, then tried to nod, obviously wanting him to continue. Though she kept her eyes trained on the rim of her mug.

“That’s when he said some shit and I reacted.”

“Said what?”

Matty startled a little at the sound of her question but was hasty in his attempt to answer. “Just, he reckoned that Teddy was mine and that I had to have knocked someone up. So now they were just using me for the money.”

Her eyes slipped closed and her fingers tightened their grip on her cup.

Swallowing thickly, Matty went to continue, “I shoved him and told him to do one- that’s what they caught in those photos. I didn't take anything he offered, I didn't even look back after. Just walked away, thinking of Teddy, trying to get him out of there. The bloke, he kept on shouting, saying some crap about this and that. But I carried on walking.”

Matty was proud of that fact, even with everything that had happened since. Not too long ago, a different version of him would have handled it all too severely. It was a step, a tiny one, sure, but it was progress.

“Then what?” Mouse voiced, prompting him along with just a look.

“Then we walked home.” Matty replied, feeling that familiar cloud of shame dawn over him. “We didn’t really speak, I- I was a bit of a mess, trying to figure out what to do next, what to tell Teddy, to say to make it right again. But Teds, he,” Matty hauled in his next breath, all too fucking close to bawling, that he could admit. “He called for me and I looked down at him. All I could say was sorry, Mouse.”

She nodded tightly, the knuckles she had wrapped around her tea cup had whitened.

“He,” Matty felt the corners of his mouth lift as he remembered the bittersweet memory of Teddy trying to soothe him, “He told me it was alright, that we were okay, but I just kept on saying sorry. He said that the bloke was just a bad man, and I assured him of that. Wanting him to know that we were okay, that the guy was long gone. But then he-”

Matty stopped altogether then, a picture of Teddy's little face coming to the forefront of his mind, and Squeaks immediately took note.

“Then what?”

Her eyes were so full of emotion, but which ones he wasn’t too sure. Still, the sight tightened every muscle in his chest as he forced himself to finish what he’d started. “He said we couldn’t tell you.”

Matty knew he couldn’t have imagined the sharp inhale that sounded from her then, as though she'd just received a blow to the chest. And he so desperately wanted to reach out, to wrap her up and just fucking hold her. But he couldn't. It wasn't his place.

He watched on as she licked at her top lip though, blinking back the wetness that shone in her eyes, “Why?” Her voice cracked on the question but she did not cry.

It was a simple answer. “He didn’t want to hurt you.”

Mouse stood then, placing the cup down with some force before she hastily made her way over to the front window. Matty stayed seated, unsure if he’d be welcome near her.

“It fucking broke me, Squeaks.” He admitted after a moment, his lips now tingled with the sheer amount of effort it took for him to not let his emotions get the better of him. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“You should have told me.” Was her reply, sharp and cutting, enough that it fucking wounded. Because Matty knew that she was right.

“I know.” He answered.

“You should have fucking told me, Matty!” She repeated, turning then to face him. He saw the tremble of her shoulders, the curve of her mouth and how it quaked. He stared, couldn't bring himself to look away.

“I know.”

He swallowed, throat almost aching as much as the hole that made up the majority of his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

“I don't know.” He murmured, mostly to himself.

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ssadumba55 · 2 years

Text

Break (Bernard the Elf x Reader)

Request: Ok I've been brainstorming an idea for Bernard and ok here's what I got ok Reader is Santa's introverted kid and them and Bernard are in an established relationship and he's like the reader's emotional support so they follow him everywhere like an introvert dragged to a party but they would totally back off if he told them to

A/N: @fo-babes I believe this was your request ;) just in time for the holiday season and some new Bernard content next week. Part 1 of your birthday one shots. No matter how retired I am on this blog, I'll always room to post for you. This blog brought us together and I don't know what I'd do without you in my life, you've kept me sane this year when nothing else would. Here's to another 19 years of life for you, hopefully that I'll be able to tag along for! I wouldn't rather be anywhere else. Also, yes you did make me that gif I used of Bernard. Thanks!

“Make sure the painting gets done before Santa gets back or he’s going to freak out. Nice work though!”

Bernard stood up straight from where he’d been bent over, assessing one of the many jobs that needed to be done in the workshop. Christmas was still, thankfully, a ways off. Just over 100 days to be exact, they had time to perfect every little thing before it came. He was in good spirits today. There was a lot of time to get things ready and Santa was out, visiting the Millers, leaving him to run the workshop on his own.

He loved having Santa around, but sometimes it was nice to have him gone so he could keep all the elves on task.

Another reason for his good mood was the lack of Curtis, the keeper of the handbook. Normally he was attached at Bernard’s hip, talking his ear off and giving him a splintering headache. Today, however, it seemed he decided his talents would be better used elsewhere. Bernard was grateful for that, he began to continue on his way.

In Curtis’ place, was you. Santa’s eldest child, you’d made the move to the Pole with him when he came to stay here full time. Your relationship with the Millers from what he understood was rocky, you rarely left the Pole with your dad to visit. The only way you would come was if Charlie, your little brother, specifically requested your presence.

He wished he understood why. Laura and Neil had been a little too much when he’d encountered them, but they were generally harmless. In his opinion, at least. Santa enjoyed spending time with the family so that had to account for something.

He wouldn’t pressure you to tell him, though. Some things were just better left unsaid.

When Santa was gone, you always hung around him, even if you hated being around the workshop. The alternatives were hanging out with the other elves or sitting at home with Carol, who you were still getting used to and neither were super appealing to you.

Bernard had noticed when you first arrived here that people (or elves) were not your thing. In the beginning, being around anyone but Santa and Charlie would immediately cause you to shut down. He had been determined to win over both the Calvin kids, and his persistence was eventually rewarded tenfold. The two of you ended up becoming close friends, then later a couple. Everyone was really surprised you warmed up to him, none moreso than your father.

He felt extremely blessed to be in the fortunate few who got to see the real you.

You huffed behind him as he walked to the next table. The long hours in the workshop were starting to get to you, he knew. But there was no way you were going to leave, unless he told you to and he wasn’t about to force you out of the comfort that being near him brought.

He did feel a little guilty though, this was probably very exhausting to endure and he wasn’t about to be finished any time soon.

He smiled apologetically back at you as he bent down to oversee the teddy bear fluffing.

While he offered his advice, your gaze wandered around you to the bustling around you to get work done. The amount of elves here made your head spin, back in the regular world being in a place like this would be something you avoided, of course, you had to date a guy… an elf… who worked in one of the busiest places in the world.

“... we can go somewhere quieter.”

You came back to your senses when you realized Bernard was talking to you, his hand gently went up to rest on your forehead. You leaned into the touch, bringing yourself back to reality as his concerned eyes searched your face.

“I’m fine, you have work to do. You can’t leave the workshop,” you swallowed the lump in your throat. Soon dad would be back and then you could spend more time with Carol without feeling awkward. You could make it until then, but Bernard didn’t seem convinced.

He set what he’d picked up from the work table in his other hand back down, patted the elf seated there on the back and turned back to you. Taking your hand, he pulled you along with him to the front doors of the workshop.

“Bernard, what are you doing- you have work and dad-”

Stepping out into the cool air where there were less loud noises and bustling immediately calmed you inside. You still felt tired from the long exposure but at least your senses weren’t being constantly inundated with new stimuli.

He pointed to the edge of the little North Pole village. “Do you remember when we grabbed cocoa and snuck out here while Santa was busy being distracted by a mess Curtis made? And you still wouldn’t talk to me so I did most of the talking?”

You did remember that day. Back in those days, Bernard often looked for moments to steal away with you. He had been so determined to spend time with you, it didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest that you weren’t too keen on making friends. It had been a huge shock for you, so used to the people back in Lakeside. Back there, if you weren’t super extroverted and talkative you just kind of fell to the wayside.

You had never told him but you’d been super bummed that day, it was one of those rare days where you wondered if moving to the North Pole was a good idea. You missed your brother and weirdly, your mother and Neil. It had been a shock to find yourself missing them, considering you’d always been closer to your dad. During the divorce, you’d taken his side which had stung your mother. The relationship ever since had been rocky, but you knew she still wanted the best for you.

Sneaking out for cocoa with someone had been exactly what you had needed that day.

“Yeah. And dad found us hours later. He dragged you back to work, I’ve never seen him so annoyed with you,” you laughed as the two of you began a leisurely stroll.

His cheeks turned slightly red, as he looked away. “Not one of my brighter moments, I’ll admit. I’ve never had a Santa lecture me like that in the thousands of years I’ve been working here.”

There was comfortable silence between the two of you for a few moments after that as you thought about what he’d said and wondered why he’d brought it up.

“The next time we talked, you spoke to me for the first time outside of forced, curt introductions. I was ecstatic, I think getting in trouble really broke the ice.”

“I felt bad for getting you in trouble. After all, you only suggested leaving because you noticed I was getting uncomfortable in the workshop. And dad shouting orders wasn’t really helping. I felt like I owed you something,” you kicked the snow, smiling, “you just did it again. Risked your spot, even though dad’s not here, to comfort me.”

He looked at you. “It was worth it then and it’s worth it now. You’re worth it, I mean.”

You nudged him with your shoulder, not knowing what to say. After all, everyone here knows Bernard is proud of his position as Santa’s Head Elf. To hear him say he’d risk it any time for you, is a little surprising.

The shock must’ve been apparent on your face because he suddenly stopped walking. At his side, you stopped yourself from walking forward abruptly not expecting the sudden stop. The stop made you lose your balance and he reached out to steady you, realizing that he should’ve warned you vocally before randomly deciding to stop.

“Are you surprised?”

“To hear you’d prioritize anything over work? Surprised is an understatement. I know I can be a little much, especially when dad’s not around-”

Bernard nudged you with his shoulder. “You’re not a little much. You just need time and patience, the best things in life do.”

Your face heated up at his words, it was hard sometimes to be the way you were. To struggle with speaking to people, to fight the urge to isolate yourself from everyone. You had always assumed that was a burden to everyone around you, even the ones who managed to crack your hard shell.

To hear Bernard speak as if it was just perfectly normal…

“We should go get cocoa! On me!” You broke the weird mood that had temporarily settled over the two of you and before he could say anything, began to pull him along in the direction of the nearest spot for cocoa.

He let you drag him.

Sure, there were a lot of things about you that other people might find annoying but seeing you in moments like this made it all the worthwhile. He rushed to keep up with your pace, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he caught up with you, no longer needing to be dragged.

You smiled and he felt his heart skip a beat.

He needed to take breaks more often.

#bernard the elf x reader #bernard imagine #the santa clause imagine #gender neutral reader #disney imagine #happy birthday luis!!!!#I love you so much

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great-cats · 6 months

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The Compress Analysis (2/?)

(From: This Post) Ⅰ - Ⅱ - ...

Part Ⅱ: The Mask

Yep, I see the mask as a key part of his character to the point where it simply must get a section of its own in this increasingly more insane ramble. One may immediately assume that the thing is used for identity concealment. While this is partially true, I reckon that its primary purpose is the concealment of his emotions, as implied in the ultra analysis entry for him (attached below). He may have a near perfect handle on his body language, but I will personally headcanon that he has a terrible poker face until the day I die. As a villain, his identity is going to come out at some point, you know? Even after the Kamino raid (where he got doxxed the hell out of), he continued to wear the mask up until his ta-da moment in 294. So with that info, we can reasonably assume that identity was on the back burner, and emotion/dramatics took centre stage. The latter option is thrown in because he obviously was saving that reveal to an extent. One can even go so far as to assume he hadn’t even taken his mask off around the league, which would be pretty interesting. We don’t ever see him without it while he’s with them, after all.

Beyond keeping his facial expressions behind closed doors, the mask may very well bolster Atsuhiro’s confidence. We don’t particularly see much of this in action given he wore the thing for so long and has only a select few moments of casual interaction, but I still like to think of it as a very real possibility. For all intents and purposes, Atsuhiro Sako is just a normal man with an interesting background and some past poverty. Despite this, the villain that is Mr.Compress– or what quite nicely amounts to a stage persona –is flamboyant, clever, and has a penchant for monologuing. I quite like to create a separation between “Mr.Compress” and “Atsuhiro Sako” because of this disparity. The latter is the flawed man behind the mask whilst the former is a faux, ideal identity put on for the audience. Only in those rude remarks and reckless actions do we see the facade begin to slip. So, what of the moment in the climax of chapter 294 in which he throws that covering off? Well, for starters, he couldn’t not. Jeanist’s quirk could nab anything fibrous, and the fellow couldn’t take any chances. But, beyond that, Atsuhiro thought that moment would wind up his final stand. What’s the use of concealment if you’re going to die soon? He might as well make things flashy.

A big thing in my opinion regarding the mask is how it often reflects Atsuhiro’s status. While I do like to make the distinction between him and Mister as mentioned prior, again, there’s that smidge of him shining through. When he lost his arm, the mask was solemn and in the times he was at his best, it portrayed a smug/snide grin. That grin in particular is by far his most iconic design! It gets the cogs turning in my head when his real emotions don’t seem to match it, though, Regardless of how Atsuhiro is really feeling, that mask keeps up the smile until it’s either broken or otherwise removed. It circles us back to that emotion concealment point, if that wasn’t already obvious. In pursuit of the perfect villain and the next in line for the illustrious goals and teachings of the late Peerless Thief. Atsuhiro has no room for error with that heavy load on his shoulders and must keep up appearances, even if he has to hide behind a smiling mask to do so. But why hold this legacy in such high regard? Atsuhiro claimed that it was the very reason he was there with the league, so what could’ve possibly gotten the man to be so dead set on the wishes of a long gone relative he likely never met? Perhaps, answers to questions like that could be found in what minimal information we know about…

Ah dear! That's part three exclusive content!! Tune in for "The Upbringing" later in which we'll pick right back up from where we left off!

#mr compress #atsuhiro sako #sako atsuhiro #mha #bnha #mr. compress #league of villains #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #character analysis #also when im done with all this I'll probably post a google doc #since thats what im writing this on #Just so that it's all in one place!!

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yuu-loves-you · 6 months

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Is it really rape?(part 1 of ??)

TW: Sexual abuse, possibly discussed in detail later on. Same goes for physical and mental abuse. Victim blaming, and substance(cigarette) abuse, SH

Summary: with the assistance of your grandparents and Nekomata, you had moved into their house at the very beginning of the school year. Having just come to a normal home from your traumatic life with your father, things can be pretty overwhelming. Especially when you can’t afford therapy. You’re Nekoma’s team manager, and you’ll do anything to make sure the boys succeed. After all, they made you happier than you’d ever been before

“well, is it really rape if you just sit there and allow it to happen?” You knew a counselor wasn’t supposed to say this. You knew how wrong it was. How you’d never tell anyone this. If someone told you their counselor said this you’d flip out. You’d tell them how the counselor is wrong. Though, now when the situation is happening to you, you have no will to argue against this question. More so, a statement than a question. Nonetheless you can’t say a damn thing. Your mouth feels unbearably dry as you shakily pull yourself to your feet and begin to grab your items. You can feel her eyes burning into the back of your head as you take your backpack and leave the room. She doesn’t try to stop you. Upon exiting, you could truly feel how your legs felt like jelly and how wet your face was. You take some deep breaths and rub your eyes. You only made yourself a little bit better, you’d realized. It feels like you haven’t learnt or earned a damn thing. The relief of having already told your coach and team you wouldn’t be at afternoon practice washes over you. Now, you can simply walk home. You don’t have to face them and show your ugliest look that is stained in tears. As you head to your shoe locker, a feeling of guilt passees over you. You had lied about your reason for not being at practice. ‘A doctor's appointment’ you'd told them. The reality was you had to finally talk to someone about the numerous traumas you’ve endured before you cracked for good. You regretted going. You could almost describe the emotion you felt from the ‘therapy session’ as humiliation but you knew in reality it was much more complex. After putting your shoes on you took the slow route back to your home. You wish you could go to the boys practice but you knew you wouldn’t be able to focus so you’d rather go home than be a burden to them. As you reached the front door you pulled your key ring from your bag and unlocked it. You enter and could smell the red sauce being cooked and your grandmother's indescribably pretty perfume. “I’m home, grandma!” You said. “Oh! Welcome home baby!” Your grandma approached for a hug as you put your things down. You hugged her close. She gave you a concerned look at your appearance that turned into what was best described as pity. “Oh baby… was today hard? I’m sorry.. if only I could afford you some proper help…” You smiled softly at your grandma. “It’s fine. Don’t worry grandma. One rough day won’t tear me down.” You couldn’t help but internally cringe at your own blatant lie. You could tell tonight would be rough. “Why don’t you go say hi to grandpa? He’s lying upstairs. I’ll call you down when dinner is ready…” you nod with a smile and head up the stairs. Peeking into your grandparents bedroom, you see he is asleep and decide not to disturb him as you head to your room. Despite the fact you’d been living with your grandparents for a year now, each day it still felt weird to come home to such a calm environment. It was a stark contrast to the life you endured when living with your father. This feeling was especially prevalent as you went into your room and saw how nice of a bed you had and in general the amount of items you had in your possession. You leaned your back on the door and slid down until your butt hit the floor.

#haikyuu x reader #kenma kozume x reader #kenma kozume #Nekoma #previously-abused reader #recovery #angst with a happy ending #angst comfort

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honeybeezgobzzzzz · 10 months

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𓅨The Places We'll Be

The Places We'll Be: The clothes finally come off, you just hope that the two beings don’t break you in their endeavor to show their love.

Warnings: Explicit Language, Explicit Material (Unprotected Sex is a No No), Double Penetration, Morpheus’ Powers + Lube Speed Things Up (because I said so), Additionally: I’ve never written anal before, be gentle, don’t break your ass bc you’re horny.

To Note: Morpheus/Dream x Female!Reader x Hob Gadling, Idea from this post by @writing-fanics.

Word Count: ~7.1k

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You don’t know exactly how you ended up half naked, lying on Hob’s kitchen island. The relationship you had with Dream of the Endless and the immortal man named Hob Gadling was complicated enough without emotions and feelings involved. Normal mortal humans just didn’t mix with anthropomorphic beings and immortals. It spelled disaster. So how exactly did you end up half naked stretched out on Hob’s kitchen island with Morpheus kissing your leg while Hob repeatedly kissed your lips? Oh yes, you had finally graduated your post doctoral program and were no longer off limits.

Softly moaning from the feeling of Morpheus’s lips teasing the inner part of your knee and Hob clutching your cheek, making sure that his mouth was as close as possible, you shifted in place while feeling an uncomfortable need building within your body. Morpheus sank his teeth into your thigh and you jerked in place squeal, whimpering into Hob’s mouth. The immortal devoured that delicious sound, sliding his tongue against yours. One of your hands wrapped around Hob’s wrist of the hand cradling your jaw while the other dove down to seek out midnight locks. Hob’s mouth departed yours and he looked to Morpheus.

“You are playing around with her,” He grumbled in dissatisfaction. Morpheus arched an eyebrow, stroking your skin ever so gently while you squirmed around.

“I am merely taking my time, Hob,” Morpheus returned. “Did we not discuss this? I see no reason to hurry along when we both wish to express our true ardor.”

“Well yes, but you don’t need to torture her,” Hob pointed out. “At least not yet.” You gaped at them because clearly this was premeditated and they had conversed with each other on how they planned on indulging. Hob returned his gaze to you. “Do you care? I can’t imagine you particularly feel like being toyed with by Morpheus right now. We’ve both been patiently waiting and while he has an endless amount of it, I do not.”

Now that had you gaping, mouth dropping open as you stared at Hob’s questioning face.

“I—” You stuttered out, feeling breathless from the immortal’s kisses while you lips almost felt numb. “I— I mean… you—”

“Cat caught your tongue, beloved?” Morpheus innocently asked. He may be giving you an innocent look but his thoughts were anything but. His fingers climbed up your leg, spindly climbing across your flesh until his cool fingertips brushed along the band of your underwear. You whimpered once more, your eyes darting between Morpheus and Hob.

“We need a verbal confirmation,” Hob spoke to you, twisting the wrist you held so he could bring your hand to his mouth once more. You were locked in his gentle brown gaze and you swallowed. Good god, they were basically asking you permission for a threesome. Who were you kidding you knew you loved them both dearly at this point, and it was far from platonic.

“You can tease me later,” You answered with hot cheeks, feeling shy about your intimate desire and wishes. “Right now I really just want to feel your love. I’ve been craving it.”

That made stars burn brightly within Morpheus’ eyes and his hands wrapped around your hips, fingers curling into the elastic band of your underwear. Hob however, smiled widely at you and cupped your cheeks to pull your lips back to his. While your immortal man kissed you deeply, the endless pulled on the elastic band of your underwear. He slipped them from your legs, kissing your knees and appreciating how beautifully sculpted your body was.

Hob was in the middle of urging your lips to part so he could fully indulge in your mouth when Morpheus pushed your thighs apart and lowered himself to his knees. You were barely aware of the Endless’s actions and intention, absorbed in Hob’s tongue curling around yours and driving you towards a feeling of euphoria. But the moment Morpheus dragged his tongue through your folds you jerked against his hold and raggedly gasped into Hob’s mouth.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at your reaction to Morpheus’s tongue. It was far more exquisite than either man expected. You clenched your fingers into his obsidian hair and pressed your head back into the kitchen island. Hob cradled your face, a pleased smile on his lips as he watched pleasure bloom on your cheeks and burst within your eyes. It was almost as delicious as the soft sounds emerging from your throat.

Seeing you squirm against Morpheus’s mouth, whimpering and whining as his tongue did things to your body you never imagined, Hob shifted his gaze to your heaving chest. The only piece of clothing you had on was your plain comfortable bra and even as plain as it was, it still didn’t take away from Hob’s desire to see all of your body. So he slipped his fingers down your neck, caressed your shoulders and smirked when you twitched further from is touch alone.

But you were distracted from Hob’s devilish workings by Morpheus sealing his lips over your clit and sucking. Your thighs tightened around Morpheus neck and you felt your leg muscles contract.

“Oh god,” You breathed out, tears beginning to burn at the edge of your eyelashes. Morpheus’s eyes glowed once more, more than pleased to hear the sound of your pleasure in addition to your subtle writhes against him. He held you firmer in place while Hob unclipped your bra and pulled it from your shoulders. Hob caught your hands which left their respective grasps to cover your bare breasts, and he pressed your wrists next to your head.

“He’s an Endless, actually,” He smoothly corrected you with a Cheshire smile. “There’s no god here, love, just you and us,” You whimpered, legs straining against Morpheus’s hold as your flesh was electrified with pleasure. Hob lowered his head to kiss you once more, but his lips didn’t remain on yours. No, they migrated to your jaw, tracing the bone and placing more kisses that you felt distinctly. Then he dragged his lips down your neck and sucked at your skin.

You whined and twisted in place, kicking out a leg and feeling just short of screaming your frustrations out. You had never experienced such bodily pleasure, certainly not at the same time, and it was nearly unbearable. Then your thighs started to shake violently, your hips bucking up against Morpheus’ mouth. You strained against Hob’s grasp and writhed, incoherent babbles slipping from your lips.

The moment Hob dragged his tongue across your breast and licked at your nipple, your back was arching and you cried out. Hob hungrily adored the soft flesh of your breasts, sucking on them and nibbling in the hopes of leaving behind marks. There would be plenty of time to mark you up later, but Hob wanted to be the first. Morpheus caught the tail end of that thought and a flare of rivalry bloomed. Ripping his mouth away from your hot and pleasure soaked cunt, Morpheus sank his teeth into your thigh.

This time you let out a strangled cry and violently jerked in their hold, rolling to the right as the orgasm the two men had coaxing forth, burst and proceeded to wash through your body. The kitchen island was cool against your skin as you trembled and shook, momentarily loosing your voice and senses. When you finally found it once more, you could only let out a rasping moan while your limp limbs buzzed with electricity.

Did Hob seriously just let Morpheus bury his face between your thighs in his kitchen!?

Morpheus gently kissed your still trembling thighs, appreciating how beautiful you were washed with pleasure and thoroughly drunk on the taste of you. Hob nuzzled your neck, slightly jealous that the Endless got to taste you first. Well, an agreement was an agreement and Hob would soon have his turn. You let out a soft moan once more and Hob brushed your hair from your face.

“Still with us, love?” Hob asked, looking into your face. You dragged your eyes open and rolled your head to look at his soft brown eyes.

“How long have you two been planning this because there is no way you two could have come to an agreement this fast.” You softly croaked, thighs still feeling shaky and body hyper sensitized. Morpheus kissed your hip and stroked your thighs once more. Your muscles still trembled.

“We have had plenty of time to consider how we would like to pick you apart, beloved,” Morpheus smoothly replied, a smug smirk gracing his lips while Hob rolled his eyes.

“I will admit, we’ve had a few conversations,” Hob answered, unable to stop himself from stroking your face. You stared at Hob, your cheeks on fire and still feeling Morpheus’s bite. That would be around for a while. Eyes drifting to the Endless responsible for your jelly legs, you shivered at the look in his eyes. Hungry, he looked so hungry. Hob’s eyebrow popped up. “Getting cold?” He asked, eyes appreciating your naked body.

Morpheus smirked and shifted his eyes to the immortal.

“She is far from cold, Hob,” Morpheus explained, his voice deep and rich. The two men exchanged further looks before their eyes settled back on you. You could see the desire within their eyes and might just melt away to nothing beneath it. Your heart thundered in your chest and you slumped back onto the kitchen island with a whimper.

Your mind was captivated by the intense stormy blue ones that stared at you while the Endless being effortlessly carried your body from Hob’s dining room, to the bedroom. Your cheeks were on fire, your body still buzzing with echoes of pleasure, and Morpheus felt it all. From the way you trembled, to the way your eyes were still dilated, even the way you breathed was still heightened. From behind Morpheus, Hob followed, his eyes never once leaving you. Your eyes connected and the immortal man could see the flush beneath your skin grow.

His smirk widened and a half squeak caught in the back of your throat.

“Hob,” Morpheus drew out, seeing your reaction. The immortal snorted.

“I didn’t do anything.” Hob replied while you felt like your entire face was melting away from a blistering flush. This time you let out an embarrassed whimper and his your face in Morpheus’ shoulder with a muted groan.

“You two are gonna kill me,” You mumbled in Morpheus’ soft jacket.

“We’d apologize… but it wouldn’t be sincere.” Hob replied all too happily, admiring your bare shoulders. He might have been jealous of Morpheus for getting to carry your gorgeous naked body, but both beings had long since agreed to share you should you be willing… and it seemed you were. Hob would also have plenty of other opportunities to have the pleasure of carrying you. Alone. He was sure of that. Morpheus reached Hob’s large bed and ever so carefully laid you out upon the soft sheets.

It took everything in your will power to not cross your legs or fold your arms across your chest in embarrassment, especially with the way the two men stared at you with such clear want and appreciation. The pressure of being the only one naked started to get to you.

“Why am I the only one naked right now?” You faintly asked, eyeing both fully clothed men. Morpheus arched an eyebrow at you, for surely you were being impatient and the Endless refused to rush such sacred moment… but he’d let it pass this time. So Morpheus’ long fingers slowly began unbuttoning his jacket. While you were transfixed and focused on Morpheus’ fingers, Hob shed his sweater and quickly pulled his shirt over his head. You were so caught up in Morpheus’ starry eyes you didn’t realize that Hob had climbed onto the bed next to you until warm fingers were grasping your chin and your head was turned.

Lips pressed against yours, urging, passionate, driving your mouth apart so Hob could kiss you deeper. His tongue dragged along the seam of your lips, making little sparks of pleasure explode, before it found itself tangling with yours. You shuddered and sighed, feeling like you were going to collapse once more just from Hob’s kisses. Slumping back against the bed, your hands found themselves pressing against’s Hob’s chest. Unlike Morpheus, who’s chest was entirely hairless in a chilled marble like way, Hob was warm with body hair that was just as chocolate brown as the strands of hair currently tickling your jaw while Hob kissed the ever loving daylights out of you.

The soft sounds coming from your throat, little gasps, delicious moans, only fed the fervor of the two men. Morpheus, who had certainly taken the time to appreciate the divinity of your body and map each and every dip and rise, moved forwards, his coat neatly folded and left on the dresser. Like a panther on the prowl, the Endless placed a knee on the mattress and slowly made his way towards you. You were to distracted by Hob to notice Morpheus approaching you, and only reacted when he lifted his hands and caressed the gentle slope of a breast.

You whimpered against Hob’s lips, one of your hands automatically lifting to latch onto Morpheus’ shoulder. How could the single action of a hand stroking your breast feel so good?? You hadn’t a clue but what you did know was that between Hob’s mouth relentlessly taking yours, and Morpheus appreciating every bit of your breasts, you were having a hard time thinking anything. Lost in a daze, your hands mindlessly tugged the clothes of your lovers, indicating your need for more. Your nails scratched at Hob’s belt and sharply pulled at Morpheus’ jeans. Surely you wouldn’t be the only one naked.

“Patience, beloved,” Morpheus purred, leaning down and running his lips along your ribcage. He couldn’t help but nuzzle the gentle curve of your breast once more, lavishing in your squirm and drunk on the sweet, sweet whimper that departed your mouth. Hob himself chuckled against your lips, enjoying every little sound you made.

“Shall I put you out of your misery, love?” Hob questioned, his lips just barely brushing against yours while he stared into your flushed face.

“You better,” You snipped back, fingers curling into his waist line and jerking him closer. Hob could only chuckle further at your insistence, but did as you bade. He pulled back from you and quickly undid his belt. You wanted to watch as Hob discarded his trousers and brief, you really did… but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from Hob’s molten chocolate ones. Even as Morpheus continually explored your body, running his lips along your soft flesh, kissing and worshipping it, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from Hob’s. It was only when Hob hovered over you, his fingers tracing your face while Morpheus grabbed your hand to kiss your fingertips, that you blinked yourself back to the present. Your fingers clenched around cool pale ones. “You are going to wreck me.” You spoke weakly. Hob chuckled with a smirk.

“You’ve made it very hardto keep our distance, love,” Hob answered, trailing his free hand along your outer leg to your waist. Your breath hitched the moment you felt his body draped on yours. Warm. Muscular. Comforting. Not to mention your cunt was once again throbbing, probably because you could feel Hob’s hard cock pressing against your pulsating flesh. You pressed your hand against Hob’s cheek, fully appreciating just how beautiful he was.

“Fix that, then,” You ordered, lifting your lips to brush over his. Hob’s eyebrow rose in challenge, and he exchanged a brief look with Morpheus. Oh? Issuing orders already? Morpheus’ lips twitched as a silent conversation passed between him and Hob. You were correct to say that they were going to wreck you. Piece. By. Piece. So while Morpheus began pressing his lips against the forearm of the hand he held, Hob closed the gap between your lips.

His lips pushed against yours, urging them to part so he could sweep into your mouth and tangle his tongue with yours. You shuddered and slipped your fingers up his face to slide them into his hair. As you carded your fingers through Hob’s hair and grasped tighter to Morpheus’ fingers holding yours, Hob snaked his hand from your face and down your body. He certainly appreciated the way your body was sculpted. Plump and curvy. Slipping his hand along your inner thighs, Hob truly was delighted by the amount of wetness that still clung to your flesh.

At the barest of touches against your sensitive flesh, your hips bucked against Hob’s hand proceeded to crash against his cock. You raggedly moaned into Hob’s mouth as he nibbled on your lip. Morpheus’ sharp eyes lifted to your neck where he could see and feel your heart racing. It was a pity that your flesh was so devoid of love, of adoration, of reverence. He and Hob would be fixing that. So while Morpheus indulged his desire to adore your skin and feast on the small whimpers that slipped from your mouth, Hob dipped his hips to push his painful erection against your throbbing flesh.

You couldn’t help the physical jerk beneath Hob, nor the way you clenched your nails into Morpheus’ fingers. Gods he was so warm, so pleasurable. He wasn’t even in you yet. You gasped Hob’s name and pressed your forehead into his. Hob pressed several gentle kisses against your lips, refusing to rush into such an experience as finally having you. But then he was finally fulfilling his intimate desire, slowly pushing his cock into your cunt and indulging in the delicious sounds you made.

Softly moaning, you twisted your head towards Morpheus and pressed your face close. That exposed Hob to your neck, which he immediately pressed his lips into your skin, nearly groaning from how hot and silky your walls felt as he slowly pushed into you. Fingers grasping onto Morpheus just a little tighter, your eyelashes fluttered against your cheeks when Hob’s warm hips pressed against yours. Your fingers curled around Hob’s soft brown hair and you lightly bucked your hips, bumping them into Hob’s while breathing heavily. The Immortal sunk his teeth into your neck and pressed a hand down onto your hip.

“Patiences, love,” Hob softly growled at you, allowing his teeth to linger on your skin wanting. Morpheus chuckled, you had to resist smacking him with the hand he adored with his lips. Rolling your head, you glared at Hob, his full name poised on your tongue for reprimand. But before you could call him out, Hob withdrew his cock from your hot cunt only to thrust forwards and watch as you tensed and squirmed. The explosion of pleasure just from that one movement alone… That made a very pleased smirk appear on Hob’s face. “We’re in no rush.”

“Hob,” You complained, jerking within both men’s hold. They didn’t humor your complaint, Morpheus twisting your wrist to kiss the delicate inside while Hob lowered his mouth to your breast. He kissed your soft flesh, teasing one of your sensitive nipples with his tongue as he gently moved in and out of your body. The sweetest sounds emerged from your throat, feeding into the hunger of the two men both determined to draw out the most delectable and beguiling sounds from your lips.

Greedy were the immortal and Endless, marking your skin with their undying love… and yet every time you tried to seek more, you were put in your place.

Your back arched in reaction to Hob being a little more vicious with his thrusts, striking a place deep within your cunt that left lasting echoes of pleasure. You clenched around him, your walls rippling and grasping Hob’s cock. He moaned deeply, a shiver running up his spine. The moist flesh between your trembling thighs glistened in evidence when you got little glimpse of your skin. He slipped in and out all too easily now, hips gliding together while friction tore at the fringes of your sanity. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Pleasure was slashing at your control, but something, Hob most likely, was holding it hostage. Such a strong urge to let go, but you couldn’t.

“Hob, please,” you rasped, bucking and writhing, doing anything to let that building pleasure just go. Hob sucked on your breast, flicking his tongue across your overly sensitive nipple, marking your untouched skin, before exchanging a glance with Morpheus. Would they let you have it? Perhaps… but you’d have to beg.

“We do not think ourselves to be so cruel, but do you truly wish for such luxury, beloved?” Morpheus lightly questioned. You let out a frustrated whine, dragging your nails sharply through Hob’s hair. How could these two torture like this?? Hob chuckled at your noise of indignation and twisted his head to catch your lips. Lips branding yours, you moaned in further frustration, your nails now digging into Morpheus’ flesh as your abdominal muscles clenched.

The feeling of his cock within your body was now just raw. Your walls rippled and flexed, begging you for release of the building pleasure. Yet while you were floundering and shaking violently, Hob indulged in your sweet lips and clutched your cunt closer to his body.

“Let it go, my love,” Hob murmured against your buzzing mouth, anticipating what would only be a exquisite sight of you falling apart beneath him. Tears bit at the edges of your eyes and relieved that that agonizing pleasure wasn’t being held back anymore, you relaxed your body. In a shattering crescendo, your hips bucked and twitched against Hob’s as you came undone. A hoarse scream erupted from your lips as you buried your face into Hob’s shoulder. You could have sworn that you saw stars as you clutched your two lovers.

Body fully relaxing as your release slipped down your thighs, you moaned in place while barely feeling Hob and Morpheus kissing you. Then you softly groaned when Hob slipped from your body, and sighed as Morpheus leaned over to press a kiss against your forehead.

“You were magnificent, beloved,” The Endless murmured against your forehead, nuzzling you and giving your hand a squeeze.

“What? You think Hob fucking my brains out is a show?” You moaned, dragging your eyes open to stare up at the intense blue eyes hovering over yours.

“Hey! I did not fuck your brains out, love,” Hob complained, pinching your inner thigh and causing you to squawk in exclamation.

“Robert!”

“Not actually my name,” The immortal man cheekily reminded you with a devious grin. You rolled your eyes and slapped your free hand to his face, pointing a finger into his cheek.

“You know what I mean,” You grumbled, eye twitching at the mirth in his brown eyes.

“Love, if I were to fuck your brains out, you wouldn’t even know it because you’d be incoherent mess,” Hob corrected you enjoying the way you groaned and slumped against the mattress.

“An enviable sight, surely,” Morpheus echoed and the two men shared a look. They’d have that beautiful scene eventually. You held up a hand and waved it at them.

“No, no,” You scolded them. “You got to have your turn, I want mine. No more touching me until I get it caspishe?” They glowered at you, not liking the idea that you would withhold yourself from them. “Got it?”

“Reluctantly,” Morpheus huffed while Hob groaned and eyed you. You gave him an expectant look and raised your eyebrow. He ultimately gave in.

“Okay, okay,” Hob agreed. You smiled pleasantly and wiggled your half numb legs back so you could sit up. Taking a deep breath, you glanced at Morpheus and pointed at him.

“You, take the rest of your clothes off,” You ordered, then you turned to Hob, who was staring at you with raised eyebrows. You gestured at him. “You, scoot, this bed is big enough for the three of us.”

“You dare give us orders?” Morpheus repeated, his voice dropping an octave. You fixed your eyes on the Endless.

“Did I stutter my love?” You said in challenge.

“Oh now you’ve done it,” Hob muttered, sitting next to you and kissing your shoulder. Morpheus’ eyes glowed bright silver for a moment, expressing his Endless power. Then he placed a knee on the bed and the rest of his clothes melted from his body and disappeared in a shower of stardust. Your breath caught in your chest for Morpheus, while you knew to be an incredibly beautiful being, had an entire body more glorious than even a god. Not just a nice chest. Hob was your warmth. Morpheus was your frost.

“You’re drooling love,”

“Shut up and let me drool,” Hob laughed and brushed his fingers down your arm as you inspected every inch of Morpheus. Oh how you wanted to worship both of them, but Morpheus? You were going to start with him. As Morpheus fully climbed on the bed, you reached for his arm and yanked him to you. You had him flat on his back beneath you while you straddled him in seconds, the Endless allowing whatever you wished.

“You’re feeling bossy,” Hob commented, you shot him a look before addressing Morpheus.

“Stay put, would you dear?” You purred to the Endless before planting a hand on Hob’s chest. As your nails slowly drew down Hob’s chest, you slowly moved your body down Morpheus’ and settled your eyes on his cock. As your right hand brushed Hob’s pubic hair, still damp with your release, you slipped your left around Morpheus’ cock and lowered your head. Both men groaned when your hand and mouth made their first ministrations and the sound was music to your ears.

You licked at Morpheus’ cock at first, wanting to acquaint yourself with it before diving in. Mouth swirling around pale cock, you allowed your right hand to dance along Hob’s cock. They both swelled beneath your touch, throbbing and aching for more of your addicting touch. Swirling your tongue, you sucked intermittently while coaxing pleasure from Hob with reckless abandonment. Morpheus slipped his fingers into your hair and wound the locks around his fingers. This was a devilish side of you that neither being had seen before.

Hob grunted as his cock strained in your hand, already taunted by your heavenly cunt. He hadn’t taken his own pleasure for he’d been entirely focused on yours. Pain and ecstasy mixed for he wanted nothing but to find his release… and yet he felt it wasn’t time. Not yet. So he chose to distract himself by kissing Morpheus, who didn’t hesitate to return such plundering desire.

You weren’t ignorant to the two beings taking their own pleasure from each other. But you weren’t above stirring the pot so to speak, so tightening your grasp on Hob’s cock, you enveloped Morpheus with your mouth. You took the Endless as deep as you could, forcing back the gags to hear the blissful deep moans and Hob’s soft cursing.

“You little devil!” Hob cursed you after ripping his mouth from Morpheus. They knew you had done that on purpose, and you giggled, the deep vibrations within your throat torturing the Endless with ecstasy.

“Y/N,” Morpheus spoke out darkly, his eyes flash. “Behave,” Fuck that. You sucked hard, easing your tongue along the length of Morpheus’ cock while stroking Hob at a faster pace. In return Morpheus sharply yanked on the strands within his grasp, both in ecstasy and warning for such cheek. “You test our limits, little one.”

You didn’t care, you were giving in to your intimate desires, tasting and feeling what you had dreamed about, lavishing what you had hungered for. The pain in your scalp would never be bad enough for you to ease your actions. But both beings were trembling under your grasp and mouth, and refused to find release anywhere but within you. So Morpheus put an end to your fun.

The Endless was ripping you off him in seconds, hands claiming your waist and pulling you up so you were straddling his throbbing and quivering cock, feeling just how worked up you made him. Hob brushed his lower lip with his thumb before lounging beside Morpheus, awaiting for what would come next. It would entirely be your decision.

“You interrupted my fun,” You stated, nostrils flaring as you glared at the Endless you were perched on. Morpheus was unperturbed by your sharp words and stroked your thigh.

“Beloved, there is something we wish to discuss with you before either of us find our pleasure.” Morpheus told you while Hob traced your thigh absentmindedly. You looked between them with a blank look, confused by the sudden seriousness.

“And that is…?”

“We both want to be in you when we come,” Hob chipped in, wondering if you were going to refuse. Your brain short circuited for a moment… they wanted to come in you… at the same time? That would only be possible if one of them took you in your ass. You quivered in place, slightly afraid of being hurt. You’d heard enough from your friends to know that if not done correctly, anal could hurt like a bitch and cause bleeding.

“I— I’ve never done…” You looked between them nervously. “It’s not that I’m opposed per se… but what if— what if you hurt me? I mean doesn’t that require a lot of prep and other stuff…” You trailed off the moment you caught Morpheus’ insulted look.

“You believe we would ever hurt you, beloved?” Morpheus questioned severely, deeply insulted that you would think such a thing from the beings that loved you most dearly. You flushed in place and curled your fingers into Morpheus’ chest.

“Well I don’t know,” You hoarsely snapped at him. “I’ve never tried it and my friends have had plenty to say about it! I don’t want to be bleeding out of my ass for days!” You were being moved once more, this time finding yourself perched onto of Hob’s warm body while Morpheus draped his body against your back, his lips brushing your ear.

“I would never cause such harm to you, beloved,” He whispered into your ear. “But we will not touch you if you do not wish for it.”

Staring into Hob’s reassuring and soft brown eyes, you internally sighed and found the courage to have them both. Placing your palm in the center of Hob’s chest, you raised your other to stroke Morpheus’ jaw.

“Please be gentle,” You quietly murmured, placing your trust in the being that you had fallen head over heels for.

“Always,” Morpheus softly spoke in your ear, his lips tickling you. Hob stroked your thighs gently.

“One word, love, that’s all you have to say to stop, okay?” Hob reassured you. You blinked at him and faintly smiled.

“I do trust you both, I’ve just— I’ve never tired it before and I do not want to be waddling around for a week because I broke my ass having sex.” You replied, wiggling you hips against Hob’s painful erection, he groaned and you giggled.

“I thought I told you to behave,” Morpheus warned, nipping your neck with a purr. Burying a hand in his hair, you twisted your head just enough to look at him with a smirk.

“I’ll behave when I so wish,” At your sassing words, Morpheus placed his hand against your back and pushed you forward so you had to use your forearms to catch yourself from face planting on Hob. Your faces were almost touching. Heat bloomed beneath your cheeks, heat that the immortal could feel. He liked that. With a smile on his lips, Hob cradled your face and pulled your mouth to his. He kissed you sweetly, distractingly, as his other hand grasped his aching cock and guided it to your soaked cunt.

A shudder went through you the moment he slid back into your body, a soft and subtle whine slipping free. Hob nipped at your lips, placing a hand on your hip and stroking your flesh. You sighed and brushed your fingers through Hob’s brown locks, shivering only lightly when Morpheus’ lips met your back. The endless continued to kiss your flesh while letting his power bloom. Ghost touches caressed your body, soothing your muscles and drawing you into a relaxed state. You didn’t know where that touch came from, Morpheus power most likely, but you did like the feeling.

It wrapped around your body, caressing you and slowly making its way across the curve of your ass. Your lips separated from Hob’s the moment that ghost caress slipped its way through your ass cheeks to caress your untouched ass. You straightened up enough to bump into Morpheus’ embrace. Both men halted their touch upon your body immediately, adhering to their absolute promise of stopping should you utter even a single syllable.

You were yet to be opposed, but the sensation was unlike anything you’d felt before and made a heightened tremor spark the nerves in your body. Fingers curling around black and brown hair, you dragged your fingers through Hob’s scalp while leaning your cheek into Morpheus’ head. The endless kissed your temple while the immortal pressed his lips to your forearm. You were soon feeling nothing but bliss, gently rocking on Hob’s cock while your virgin ass was coaxed into relaxation. Morpheus returned his mouth to your neck and gently placed kiss after kiss upon your flesh. Then he trickled his fingers down your side, enjoying the way you reacted, and gently caressed the curve of your behind.

“Do you enjoy having us wrapped around your finger, beloved?” Morpheus questioned silkily, drawing blood to the surface of your skin to leave a physical reminder of his ardor. Parting your lips to give a reply, you found yourself choking on your words as fingers delved into your untouched hole. You momentarily tightened your grasp in panic, expecting to feel pain from such a seemingly sudden stretch… but it never occurred. “I do not seek to harm or cause you pain.” The Endless reassured you. You let out the breath you had unconsciously been holding.

“Shouldn’t this be taking longer?” You softly aired, mind thinking back to your friends horror stories about how long it took just to take a small toy. Morpheus chuckled while Hob raised an eyebrow.

“Not when you have him, love,”Hob purred from beneath you, thoroughly enjoying just the feel of your hot and velvet walls wrapped around his cock. You didn’t even have to be moving or riding him for the immortal to experience pleasure. Eyes dropping to Hob, you arched an eyebrow at him.

“Have you two been having fun without me?” You accused, Hob smirked and Morpheus pushed his fingers further into your body while sinking his teeth into your neck. You made a noise in the back of your throat and sharply pulled on Morpheus’ hair. He was unfazed, greatly enjoying his quest to mark your physical being.

“I’m over six hundred years and he’s an Endless, love, we’ve been around the block,” Hob teased you, a merciless twinkle in his eye. You wanted to growl at the pair clearly enjoying teasing you as such, but at the same time you just wanted Morpheus in you already so you could have precious intimacy with the two that mattered most to you. Nothing else would have you closer to them, than having them both being inside you at the same time.

“Do you wish to continue?” Morpheus questioned, his cool body draping along your body until you were truly sandwiched between hot and cold. Turning your head, you looked into Morpheus’ eyes. The blue held several shimmering stars that burned brighter than Sirius.

“Haven’t said stop yet, have I?” You softly whispered, pulling your fingers free from midnight strands to caress his face. Morpheus took your face in hand and pulled your lips to his for a ravenous kiss, for what mortal could ever be as beautiful as you? So while the Endless kept you distracted and relaxed with mouth and power, he slowly guided his cock between your cheeks to press against your ass. You were surprised to feel a coolness surround your hole, but when you felt pressure and Morpheus easing into you, you let out a slow, drawn out moan.

You’d never felt so full before. Not once. Then again you’d never had a cock in your cunt and a cock in your ass at the same time. You shuddered and leaned back into Morpheus while slipping a hand to Hob’s chest, your fingertips pressing down. The immortal took your hand in his, leaving his other resting on your thigh. He’d let you squeeze his hand as hard as you wanted to, you sure had a hard grasp now. But as Morpheus sank deeper and deeper into your body, his arms wrapping around your body, you never once felt uncomfortable.

Morpheus was entirely buried in your ass, holding onto your body delicately as he pushed back his desires to ruthlessly rut into your heavenly being. Over your shoulder, his sharp blue eyes met Hob’s intense brown ones. They both revered you, loved you, adored you, felt for you with their entirety… and now they were having you.

Hob started first, bucking his hips upwards, testing the waters with how much you were going to tolerate… he wasn’t expecting you to air out a mouthwatering, breathy, moan that afflicted the Endless to the point where all who dreamed this night would feel a rush of pleasure. Oh yes, they were far from hurting you, and you made that apparent when you wiggled your hips in an effort to get more friction. With a roll of your waist, you pushed down and outwards, enjoying the way your body stretched while being stimulated. Soon the bedroom was filled with soft moans and grunts as the two beings made love to you.

You clutched both of them, holding Hob’s hand tightly while grasping one of Morpheus’ arms around your waist. The muscles in your lower body were working overtime, extending and contracting while your nerves fired in waves of pleasure. Surely you were going to lose stamina all too quickly… But as minutes slipped by and muscles gave up, Hob and Morpheus took over. All you had to do was think about the excruciating pleasure that was rippling throughout your body.

You certainly wouldn’t last long, not with Morpheus thrusting his cock into you and fingers toying with your clit, not with Hob making sure that he went as deep as possible every time your hips rose and fell. Head falling onto Morpheus’ shoulder, you rasped for oxygen in between whines, legs beginning to tremble in anticipation for a third orgasm. Morpheus could feel you attempting to fight off the ecstasy, trying to extend the pleasure for both you and the men. The hand he was pressed against your stomach slipped up to your throat and he pressed his lips against your jaw, feeling your pulse race.

“Do not hold back, beloved,” He growled, feeling angered that you would so selflessly put your own pleasure aside for theirs. You had already abstained from their love long enough, that ended now. “Relent to your pleasure, allow the visceral ecstasy to consume you so that you may truly feel the ardor of our beings.”

The shaking in your body had made it to your upper body as well, exacerbating the sensations Morpheus and Hob were feeling. Oh you were so close. Your whimpers and violent shaking were plenty of evidence. They just had to coax you into letting go. Glossy eyes staring at the ceiling, your chest ached from breathing so hard and stars were beginning to bloom within your eyes. Your body burned and you ultimately bowed to pleasure.

Coming in quivering waves, you held onto your lovers in a white knuckled hold, body gripping the cocks deep within you. Hob grunted, his eyes staring at you with such proudness as you fell apart, liquid heat flooding from your body and smearing the base of both cocks. Morpheus continued to support you as you went slack, close to his own pleasure. Hob gave his Endless lover a gloating look, for it was always a running challenge on who could outlast the other. They liked to prolong their brief and coveted intimate moments. Yet right now it was clear that you were at your limit, barely holding on. They wouldn’t be so cruel to you, not now. Hob came first, having been tortured already by your divine cunt. He took pleasure in filling you with his seed in a primal claiming, finally sating years of longing. Morpheus was not that far behind. His hips faltered in their firm thrusts against your ass, and with one last far gentler thrust, he found his release.

You were a moaning mess, wobbling in place and only held up by Morpheus’ embrace. Hands stroked your skin, but you were too far gone to figure out who was responsible for the delightful strokes. It didn’t really matter in the end. Bodies shifted and sated sigh departed your lips as they slipped from your body, carefully maneuvering you onto your side and laying on either side of you. Lazily blinking your eyes back open while feeling liquid seeping from your cut, you momentarily wondered if Morpheus’ seed would remain in your body. Fuck, that was kind of hot. You groggily stared at Hob.

“You didn’t break `ma ass, but I lost `ma legs,” You mumbled as an arms slipped over your waist and Morpheus pressed himself to your back once more. He then buried his face into your neck while sliding his fingers through your own.

“I’m sure you will find them come morning,” The Endless murmured to your, placing a few more kisses against your marked neck for good measure. Hob leaned over and pressed his lips to your forehead.

“Get some rest, love, you’ve had an exciting day.” That was the understatement of the century. It wasn’t every day you graduated from a PhD program and then slept with the two beings you had crushed on for the longest time, every day. So you softly huffed in agreement before closing your eyes and slipping to sleep. It felt rather nice to be sandwiched between Hob and Morpheus.

Date Published: 7/29/23

Last Edit: 7/29/23

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#morpheus x reader #dream of the endless x reader #dream the endless x reader #lord morpheus #morpheus #dream the endless #the sandman #the sandman netflix #dream of the endless #sandman x reader

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jina-juhi · 9 months

Text

Birthday.

~Kim Namjoon x female reader.

Playlist for this vibe~

• Birthday by Ten.

• make me feel by Elvis drew.

• bad drugs by King Kavalier.

• codeine by solv

• dangerous hands by Austin Giorgio.

• your body by Jimmy brown, Rovv.

Authors note :- Hey guys this is jina, introducing @covertlydark, she's my friend and from now on we both will post our content on this page. hope y'all enjoy

• Reader's pov •

"Okay, This one?" my husband asks the same thing maybe for the sixth time for the night, his voice flat and heavy.

"Noo, we'll watch this some other day. I'm not feeling it right now." My voice lowered on its own at the end of my response when I heard his exhausted sigh. But he still manages to be patient with me.

"This one? This better be the one."

"Nope. Already watched this one."

"Without me?" He raises his eyebrows at me.

"Namjoon, we watched it together." I deadpan.

He scratches his head. "Oh yeah, right. I have an idea, you stay here to get ready, and decide which one you wanna watch while I prepare the table for us, the food is here and the cake is already waiting in the fridge."

"Okay." I smile at him and at the way his brain makes quick decisions and plans, a major contrast to my indecisiveness. He mirrors a smile and his lips brush against my cheeks and give me a quick kiss.

I bury my face in between his neck and shoulder, inhaling his fresh scent of soap and shade of spice and musk. My favorite combination. His mouth touches my bare shoulder and I can feel the curve in his lips against it.

"Go wash up, birthday girl." his husky voice and hot breath fell on my skin leaving a thrill in my spine.

"Be quick or I'll eat the cake myself!" he got up and sang on his way out of the bedroom. I shake my head at his goofiness and stretch my arms on the empty bed, squealing in content.

I hop into the shower and try my best with a little time in my hands. The insta-routine with all that exfoliating and shaving always takes a toll on a girl.

I hear the ringing on my phone after I'm dressed, Seojun's name on my screen, a friend who is also my senior colleague. A frown grew between my eyebrows because one thing that Seojun surely does not do is call after working hours.

I answer while I mindlessly flatten my black flowy dress and fiddle with my necklace, Namjoon gave me last night. It is the prettiest piece of jewelry I ever owned. He slipped it around my neck while I slept in his arms last night and I woke up with a shiny turquoise stone sitting on my chest.

"Happy birthday!" a scream drills my ears from the other side of the line and then an apology, not for me but for a really angry lady. I laugh at her carelessness. "Thank you for the wish, not for the hearing aid bill."

"Oh come on. Why didn't you tell me it's your birthday? I thought you were on leave because you were going somewhere. Jin told me with a cocky-ass grin on his face. I wanted to know it from you not him..." I tune out her blabbering.

I exhale a breath annoyed at the fact that I specifically warned him not to tell anyone. But it's too late now I think he went around the office with a banner of that information because I could hear my notification box exploding.

I don't like it when too many people know about my birthday. It gets overwhelming with all the wishes and responding to everyone with an equal amount of emotion so that the person wishing me does not think I am not grateful or something. I am. I really am, the thing is I don't know how to react to them.

My excitement for my birthday is as same as my excitement for hugging a porcupine. It is just a normal day for me, not for my husband. He is filling the gaps in my lacking enthusiasm because he has got tons of it.

"...and then you know what he told me? He told me that I am not that important to you!? the man really got some nerves to say that on my face. I swear-"

"Okay okay! Calm down. You can discuss him some other time." I huff.

She scoffs and then grumbles, "no one wants to discuss him. Well anyways, I'll be out of your hair. You must be getting ready to go out, right?" exciting curiosity enters her voice. "I mean of course you are. You are THE party girl after all. Wear something sexy, that husband of yours will fall for you all over again..."

Wow, sometimes I forget about how much she talks.

"Seojun, we're not going out. We are just celebrating at home. I wanted to keep it small and simple." I cut in between her chattering.

"Oh." she was speechless after the 'oh'. I know she tried her best to make it sound less pitiful but well she failed. Yes, I've always been the party girl but I guess people change.

I didn't want to go through all that hassle of going out and posting pictures just because I am supposed to do so. I'll do all that when it feels right and when I'm in the mood to go to some fancy restaurant.

"Okay. Well, enjoy your evening. Happy Birthday again." The call ends after I thank her and assure her to call later.

Maybe I'm feeling this because I'm not in my twenties anymore. Am I getting boring? The past-me would be so disappointed, in her eyes, the present-me is lame and boring. If anyone hears this in the office maybe they'll think the same.

You are not fun anymore.

My subconscious screams. I should not have forced Namjoon to stay in today I should have listened to him. What if he thinks-

"Y/N!" I hear his voice anchoring me to earth. "I called your name three times. You okay?" he looks at me with concern but I mask my face with a smile.

"Yes. Just thinking...which one of these should I wear?" I hold up two pairs of earrings while he closed the distance between us in just two long strides.

He changed into a black shirt- with sleeves folded, shriveled up to his elbows- and black pants, looking handsome as ever even in something so simple like this. His hair was perfectly set, not blocking the view of his gorgeous face. He always leaves me mesmerized.

He wraps strong arms around my waist and tugs me closer to him, and uncountable butterflies escape dancing in my stomach. Even after five years of our marriage, he pulls out that effect on me that I know would be the same forever. Every touch, every kiss is like a first. Better than the first.

"The gold ones." his full lips touch my forehead reaping my tiny smile. "Now tell me what is really going on inside this head." he kisses the same spot again.

I sigh against his chest. "How do you always know?" I squint my eyes at him earning his soft laugh.

"Always." he simply shrugs.

He waits patiently for me while I contemplate what to say. "Am I getting boring or... lame?" the question sitting on the tip of my tongue finally made it to my lips.

He frowns and searches for my eyes but I settle them on his chest, and so do my palms. "What makes you think that?" his deep voice pins me with a question. I shrug to lighten the mood, "Nothing it's just the birthday blues hitting me. You know how I was, I used to be the girl who looked forward to going all out and having fun on birthdays. And now... I just don't feel that way."

I finally look him in the eyes and he looks at me with his soft ones with an understanding look. "Now I absolutely feel like I'm getting old." I chuckle lightly.

"Hey... you are not lame or boring. We still go out and have fun when we feel like it. Sometimes I feel the same way, to stay at home and have a good quality evening, just the two of us. That does not mean we are boring people. It simply means we can enjoy ourselves no matter what age we are or the setting is. We are just normal people in our thirties, having fun together in our own way." he finishes with a firm steady voice making me believe every word he said and cherish it, tattooed on my heart.

"Normal people," I whisper out repeating it in my head with a smile. My chest balloons with emotions. He makes me look at things from different perspectives. Good perspectives. He is the anchor of my ship in the vast sea and I will forever be grateful to him.

Now both of us smile. A real one with no masks. He hugs me tightly, healing every tiniest crack in my soul.

"Also," he moves his nose and traces along my neck to my ear. His hot breath rushes on my skin making me twitch with giddiness. "...I don't think boring people do things we do in bed or... kitchen or bathroom. Especially not the ones we did last night and this morning."

My breath gets caught. Eyes wide and lips parted at his low tone. My head replaying what he just reminded me. White silk sheets, whispered promises, his heavy breaths and grunts, his hands tracing the goosebumps of my skin, his tongue on my—

Heat rushes to the south of my body and my face. He breaks the hug to have a good look at my face and fucking laughs at my state.

I suppress my smile and slap on his buff chest. "Now if you are done thinking about obscene things then let's go I have something to show you." he covers my eyes and starts guiding me through the hallway.

"Nomjoon I don't think covering my eyes is necessary."

"Shh. Ofcourse it is. Just walk." We enter and stop in I suppose the living room.

"Okay now, ready?" He finally says.

"Yes!"

He removes his hand and back hugs me while I open my eyes taking in the view of the living room. I gasp at the beautiful set-up he arranged, a canopy decorated with tiny fairy lights and cushions scattered under it and my favorite duvet.

He set the dinner table with plates and my favorite food, a bottle of red wine and glasses sitting next to them. Bunch of scented candles here and there, radiating warmth and light in the darkest of corners just like he fills my life, my soul, with his presence.

"Happy birthday, baby."

The pressure builds behind my eyes and in my throat constricting my words. I blink a few times to drive out the moisture in my eyes.

He settles his chin on my shoulder maybe waiting for me to say something but I'm speechless at his gesture.

"You like it?"

Like? "I love it, Namjoon. All this... It's so beautiful." my voice shakes with emotions.

"Thank you. So much. This is perfect." he turns me towards him, "glad you love it."

I lace my hands on his neck, raise on my tip-toes to make up for our height difference, and lock my lips with his soft ones. He sucks in a breath and yanks me flushed against him to deepen the kiss. His sweet taste invade my tongue.

Namjoon groans, and his hand fist the locks of my hair. His lips glide on mine and our chests glued to each other running out of oxygen. He brushes his lips against mine one last time. Breaking the kiss before it gets heated and we end up in the bed like always.

"I love you," I say in a daze.

"I love you." He says back his eyes gleaming in the candlelight and his face glowing with a golden tint. He is fucking perfect. He completes me. Every crevice in my life. We complete each other.

We sat at the table for our evening candlelight dinner. He opened the wine bottle with the cork opener and poured the content, an action that had no right to be that sexy.

"Enjoying the show?" he raises an eyebrow at me.

I hide my smile behind the glass. "Hmm, maybe." I sip the rich red liquid while soaking in the hard work he put into all this. "How did you do all this on your own? How long was I in there, four hours?"

He rasps out a laugh. "One hour. You were in there for one hour, thank god i completed it way before you walking in on me trying really hard to figure out how the hell am i supposed to hang that thing." He gestures towards the dreamy canopy. I would have loved watching him do that.

"Do you know what the most shocking part is? I didn't break anything today." He jokes. "Wow, that's a new record. I'm impressed, Mr. Kim." Our chatter and laughter mingles with the cozy air around us. We finish off what I call, the best meal I had in a long time. He sang me the birthday song while I cut the cake, his goofy playful side returning to him.

These are the little moments I treasure the most in our relationship. No grand gestures, no phones, no office talk, just us. I'll never be tired of this. Of him.

We settle ourselves under the canopy net after dinner. He brought his laptop to watch some k-drama or a movie. "Decided what you want to watch?" he asks me. "Yeah. Since today is Monday I think the new episode of the one we were watching is out by now. I'm so excited to watch that only three episodes are left."

We cuddle under the duvet. I feel safest and comfortable when he cuddles up and grips his arms around my tummy.

His chest moves subtly against my back. I feel every rumble in his torso when he laughs at something comedic. I barely pay attention to the drama. I miss reading the subtitles when the main character said something important about the story. I rewind the scene, "sorry I missed what he said."

He hums and kisses on top of my head. The scene replays but I get distracted yet again when my husband ran his hand on my stomach to my hip, giving it a squeeze before resting it there.

Well, this was not the first time. It is almost normal now. Almost, because every time he gets my mind fogged up.

I replay the scene again this time without saying anything and he too stays quiet. His hand grazes the texture of my dress, resting right on the curve of my thigh.

My mind is blank. Laser focused on his touch. And for the third time, I watch the same thing.

Great. Fucking great. I can't even read the damn subtitles.

"Can't read the subtitles, honey?" he reads my thought in a subtle mocking tone above my ear and my chest tightens.

"He is... talking too fast it's impossible to read that much within seconds." I justify after clicking pause on the screen. He hums in response in a way of saying, 'yeah right'. Not buying any shit. "What? unlike you, I have to pay attention to both the subtitles and the scenes."

Of course, living with him I have improved my Korean but I am not perfect at it.

He chuckles in his deep voice which always sinks into my heart, as deep as it is. "He barely said ten words." And just like that, I'm caught. Thick silence surrounds us, turning up the anticipation.

His lips skim over my neck. I am quiet but the sounds of our breathing fill the air.

He kisses the soft spot on my neck while his hand moves further to the hem of my dress. It takes him no time to find out that I'm already wet for him because I skipped wearing my underwear.

I exhale sharply when his cold fingers swipe between my folds. He groans in my neck, "Fuck. No underwear?" His voice is strained and breathy sending a shiver down my body. "There is no point in wearing one." I manage between my pants and focus back on his fingers working in the slowest circles.

"You're gonna kill me if you keep saying things like that so innocently."

I turn towards him to meet his mouth with mine. He props himself over me. His tall frame consumes my short one. His warmth radiates in the deepest of my soul, renewing it.

He takes away his fingers and I almost cry at the loss of contact. I whimper between our kisses. Namjoon kissed me the same as he fucks me, rough with a burning passion. Claiming me all over again.

"Take this off." He commands tugging on the cloth and making me sit. I collect my hair to side them and he took the hint to unzip me. He drags the zipper down taking his sweet time, his way of saying- you're not getting what you crave so easily.

In a quick slide, the dress comes off leaving me naked and at his mercy. The fact that I am completely bare before him and he is still in his clothes is so unfair and a fucking turn-on. I can feel myself dripping down. We haven't even started yet.

My eyes flicker down to his pants a huge bulge down his waist. I palm his erection and rub it until his breaths become short and fast. I fumble with the button and the zip to free him.

In a quick movement, he pins my hand above my head making me lay down on my back. The light from the fairy light makes his eyes glimmer. He stares down at me and I can feel the love he holds for me. A love without judgments and conditions.

"Today is all about you."

We exchange a smile. He peppers open mouth kisses on my chest. My heart thumps louder between my lungs. His tongue smooths over my skin offering my breasts his much-needed attention. His tongue flicks, licks, and laps on my hardened nipples making me moan, and giving me intense pleasure in every way possible. His hand made up for the other one twisting it between his fingers.

He reaches to my belly unhurriedly caressing the goosebumps. Sending a buzz of electricity in my body. Every touch, every caress is always filled with possession and lust.

He moves further down stopping just above the part of me begging for his touch. He lifts his head to look at me with a devilish glint.

"Click on the play button." He says.

"What?" I blurt out loudly, it sounds funny. I would have laughed at myself but I decide not to. His smile gets wider.

"Just do what I say, Y/N."

My heart will do anything he says if he takes my name in such a way. I click play and the scenes continue. I look back at him and raise my eyebrows at him to say something that's going on in his wicked mind. But instead of any explanation, he dips his head between my legs and I watch his tongue poke out to flick on my clit sending a jolt of electricity in me. He cursed under his breath when he watched how i reacted.

"You take your eyes off the screen, I take my tongue off of your sweet little pussy." He pins me with a playful look.

"But that isn't fair." My voice wavers.

"It... is" between his words, he licks a thick strip with his tongue from my wet entrance to the sensitive apex with a torturous slow speed and my mind staggers in response.

With hooded eyes I watch his beautiful lips curve up in a smirk as if he can see through my poor soul, what effect that action had in my mind, clear as a sky and the sun of reasoning clouded in an instant.

Well, he will always know what effect he has on me. Also, the sight of his face- with that wicked gleam in his eyes- between my legs, I can't expect anything else.

And I lay in a frenzy no longer able to decide what's fair and what isn't, all I wanted was his tongue on me for a lot longer than it just was.

He tips his head towards the laptop silently commanding me to focus my eyes on it, knowing me very well that I won't argue anymore.

I do what he said. Now, all I can feel is his tongue lapping on the sensitive skin making my whole body shudder and moan under his spell. He pushes one finger inside me. Perfect pressure against my walls. The sensation runs through me like an electric current. Heighten every nerve ending on its way.

The power of a slowly building orgasm force my head to watch what he's doing to me and when I turn, his sharp eyes are already watching me like a hawk.

He stops.

He fucking stopped. All that I was just feeling ruined like a sand castle in a wind. A useless heap of sand was all that was left.

"Need another chance, baby?" he speaks up cheekily. I am mad. Annoyed. It probably shows on my face because he rasps out a laugh looking at me. I will keep this in mind when he is at my mercy.

"Yes."

Yes is all I can say. He resumes working on my pussy after I avert my eyes to the screen barely paying attention to the story. The tip of his tongue flicks on my swollen nub and my hands clutch on the cushion for my dear life. Head trying to stay put.

Soon he adds a second finger and then a third while sucking on my clit. Speeding up and edging me towards oblivion. My breathing is harsh, familiar feeling lingering at the base of my spine.

Long gone the soft moans, and screams of pleasure left my throat. My eyes flutter close on their own.

"Eyes on me now." His voice laced with pure lust and... Oh God, the contact of his heated gaze tips me off the edge. And I come. Hard. While chanting his name and whispering how good he makes me feel. Free falling into bliss.

"That's it. Good girl." He wisphers lowly with a strained voice. My body mourns the loss of his fingers. He looks at me and licks his fingers clean, tasting me. God, this man will be the death of me.

I pant, my chest falls and rises dramatically to catch my breath. It feels like I was drowning and I just made it to the surface.

He closes the laptop with a flip. I'm still in a trance when I hear the clank of his belt. I watch him settling between my legs, opening his button and zipper to free himself from the constraint. Pushing his pants slightly down. My fingers clutched his soft hair. My heart skips a couple of beats waiting and eager for him, banging on my ribs trying to leap out.

He placed the tip of his hard cock ready to be inside me but still not giving in, making me whimper. He kisses me, burning with desire, silent permission for carrying on what we started. He pauses to look me in the eye.

"How do you want me, hm? Gentle... or do you want me to fuck you hard?"

My breath got stuck somewhere in my lungs. Without breaking the trance of his gaze, I snake my hand down to hold his cock, pushing just the tip inside me. "Fuck me. Harder." I say, earning his amused-proud smile.

He sits upright and lifts my right leg to anchor it on his broad shoulder. He pushes inside me completely, inch by inch with a steady pace. It warms my heart that even if i gave him permission to be rough with me he knows It always takes me time to adjust to his sheer size. Both of us moan because of how fucking good it makes us feel. Bodies shuttering as he finally moves once i am ready.

This time he thrusts so hard it knocks the air out of my lungs. His hand trails up my stomach to my breasts, pinching my hard sensitive nipple making me cry out his name.

"Tell me, still think the things we do are boring?" He wraps his hand around my neck with a firm delicious pressure while the other one plays with my breast.

I shake my head unable to voice out coherent words. All I can do is float in the magic he creates. I reach out for him but he is a bit far. He slows down and frees my legs and guides my arms around his neck to be closer to me. He kisses me as if it has been days without it, picking up the pace where he left off.

He is still clothed. The picture of his clothed body over my naked one doing the most intimate things is erotic to me.

Though I want to touch him. Feel him. Closer than we already are. My hands fly toward the buttons of his shirt. Undoing each one of them until my hands find their home.

His muscles ripple and his body shudders when I drag my touch slowly to the south. Feeling every curve of his criminally toned body, finally reaching his ass to feel the intensity of his thrusts. He groans out a curse.

"See what you fucking do to me? You make me so impatient, can't even wait to undress before I fuck my wife's tight pussy."

He slams inside me with immense force. I sob hearing him say these things with such ease. No holding back. His dark side resurface with teasing words laced with sin itself, pouring out of his smart intellectual mouth. It always leaves me in awe.

"Namjoon..." I can't recognize my voice as I moan his name breathlessly.

"I'm so– so close, please." Tears leave my eyes as the plea leaves my lips. His thrusts become more rough and harder. His fingers reach my clit. Firm strokes and overstimulation finally cracks through me. i surrender to the climax for the second time this evening. I lost my count for the day as our morning started early today.

"I've got you. I've always got you, baby."

My walls squeeze him tight. He grunts with every jerk. With a louder moan he finishes and empties himself inside me. I love watching him loose control, how his beautiful face twists while he gives in to the pleasure. The way his heavy breaths fall on my skin. It makes my heart swell to watch him like that. A sheen of sweat makes him sparkle. Both our bodies limp as the energy drains out along with our shattering orgasms.

He pulls out and lays beside me. He grabs a tissue and gently cleans up the hot mess we made. He always insists on doing that even after my half hearted protests.

Securing his strong arms around me he brings me closer to his heaving chest. "Tired?" He asks in a whisper while kissing lightly on my shoulder.

I weekly nod to answer. "Really? I was thinking of another round," he says and we laugh wrapped into each other, both knowing that none of us barely have the energy left to move.

"Enough orgasms for today, Mr. Kim." I mumble. I turn towards him to hug him properly. The back rubs, his breathing and the beats of his heart makes my body relax without any effort.

"So how was your birthday?" his chest vibrates with his question.

I place a kiss on his heart and with a satisfied smile I answer, "The best I ever had."

• Author's note

~ Written by @covertlydark

Hope you like it. Do tell me in the comments if this gave you butterflies lol... or you know somthin' close to it. <3

#kpop #fanfic #bts imagines #bts army #bts rm #bts smut #bangtan #kim namjoon #bts fic

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schrodingers-romy · 9 months

Text

Promise? [Choso x Reader]

Pairing: Choso x gn!reader

Summary: Star Wars AU, Choso is a medic and reader is an injured Rebellion fighter.

Warnings: non-graphic mention of injury, blood mention

Word Count: ~1,000

Notes: Hiiii. So. This is the first thing I've posted in a while. Anyway, I saw @strawberrystepmom 's Star Wars JJK AU collab It Takes a Galaxy and my brain exploded a bit and I wanted to join in! I kind of have an idea of a bit of a backstory, but it's pretty vague what reader's exact job is in this work. Apologies if it's OOC, or has grammar mistakes. Anyway...uh...enjoy?

[Ao3 Link]

“Ow!” You shriek, even though the stinging sensation on your forehead is nothing compared to the pain from your wound. “You’re a medic! You’re supposed to heal me, not hurt me!”

The first thing Chōsō does when he sees you sitting propped up against the wall, blood dripping from your torso, is walk over to you and flick you on the forehead. Hard.

Chōsō looks up from where he’s crouched at your side. He doesn’t look amused. “I doubt you even felt that, considering how thick your skull is.”

You gape at him, shocked. He can be standoffish at times, but he’s usually a bit softer with you, even when you tease him. “Hey! What did I do to deserve that, huh?”

He’s silent for a moment, as he pulls up your shirt to look at your wound. You feel a bit flustered, sitting there with your shirt half off as his broad hands run over the skin by your injury.

Are you blushing? Why? It couldn’t be the feeling of the calluses on his fingers scraping softly against your stomach. It was probably blood trying to get away from your wound or whatever, so you didn’t bleed out. Yeah, that sounded logical, and not at all like you were lying to yourself about your attraction to Chōsō.

Chōsō still hasn’t spoken, and you’re getting a bit worried. “Hey? Chōsō?”

He ignores you, instead reaching into his medical bag to pull out bacta spray and something to clean your side.

“…are you mad at me?”

Still nothing.

You’re starting to feel a bit upset. Here you are, propped up against a dirty wall in whatever backwaters planet the rebellion has set up shop in now, injured, bleeding, and your favorite person here won’t even speak to you. Great.

“Did I do something? Is that why your mad? Cause I didn’t mean it. I make mistakes a lot, it was probably one of those-“ your speech cuts off with a hiss as you feel the uncomfortable sensation of gelatinous bacta being sprayed into your wound.

Chōsō uses your silence to quickly wrap your wound. If he is mad at you, he’s still being remarkably gentle, so all hope isn’t lost, you suppose.

He looks even more tired than normal when he looks back up at you. You feel a spike of concern, and wonder if he’s been having trouble sleeping again. You know he had nightmares, and you wonder if they’ve been happening again while you’ve been gone.

“I’m a little mad at you,” he admits. Your heart drops to your stomach. He won’t meet your eyes, instead choosing to stare at the wall behind you.

“Why?”

He sighs wearily, and finally meets your eyes. You can see a flicker of concern in those fathomless purple eyes. “I…don’t like you getting hurt. And you get hurt a lot.”

You can see the genuine vulnerability in his gaze, and you melt, just slightly. “It comes with the job description, Chōsō. I knew what I was getting into when I signed up. It’s the risk we all decided to take, to save our galaxy.”

He doesn’t look comforted. “I know. But I wish you looked out for yourself more. You won’t be helping anyone if you’re dead.”

There’s a pause, as he looks away, uncomfortable with the amount of emotion he revealed. You didn’t often think about what might happen if you messed up, really messed up. You usually tried to ignore the fact that every time you went out, you might never come back. Most people in the Rebellion did the same. You couldn’t be paralyzed by possible futures or what-ifs. You went out, and did what you had to do, because only in the moment could you act.

But for just a second, you wonder what would happen if you were gone. If someone would have to tell Chōsō you were dead. You had seen him grieve his brothers…you never wanted him to feel like that again. Especially over you.

“Tell you what,” you said. One of your hands, tentatively, comes up to rest on his cheek, making him meet your eyes again. He tilts his head ever so slightly into your palm, and you run your thumb over the skin under his mark. “I promise I’ll always come back to you. I can’t promise I’ll never get injured, because we all know I’ll do something stupid, like stab myself with my own pen-”

This gets a small smile out of him, barely a twitch at the corner of his mouth. You can’t keep a happy grin off of your own face. His smiles are so rare, you cherish every one.

“-But I can promise I’ll always come back to you.”

You both know that you can’t always keep promises like that in your line of work. But you’ve also never broken a promise, and you’re very stubborn, so you think you’ll be okay.

“…okay,” he says, barely a whisper. “I believe you. Just…be careful.”

“I will be.”

You’re shocked out of your bubble by a voice down the corridor calling for more medics to be on standby for the next incoming ship.

“You should probably go,” you say, giving him a small half-smile and removing your hand from his face. He sighs, and you wonder if he feels as disappointed as you do with the loss of contact.

“Yeah.” He stands up, grabbing your arm to haul you up with him. The pain is basically all gone; you can feel yourself healing already. Still, you hiss as the sudden motion pulls at the tender flesh of your side.

He quickly steps forward, closer to you. His arm hovers by your side, as if to steady you, but he lets it drop instead. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stick around?” he asks, concerned.

“Go ahead. I’m fine.”

He takes a deep breath, exhaling in a soft sigh. Your faces are so close you can feel the warmth from his breath.

Unexpectedly, he cups your chin with one of his broad hands, tilting your head just right so he can press a quick kiss to your forehead. “I’m holding you to that promise,” he says seriously, staring you straight in the eyes as you feel your face heating up.

And then he’s off, in the blink of an eye, leaving you standing flustered and alone.

You unconsciously raise your hand to your forehead, finger tips brushing the spot where he kissed you. You can still feel the phantom sensation of his warm, dry lips on your skin. They were a bit chapped, you think distantly as you stumble out of the room. Your clumsiness is due less to blood loss and more to the rapid beating of your heart, and the rush of blood to your face. You wonder if you should get him some lip balm to give to him next time you see each other. Maybe something…flavored. You like cherry. Cherry is a good flavor. Maybe you’ll go with that. If anyone notices you mumbling to yourself about lip balm as you stalk down the hallway, they don’t mention it.

#romy can write #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #choso #jjk choso #choso x reader #girl how do you tag

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luvring · 2 years

Note

Hello friend are your requests open?? I saw your Cove in school hcs and would like to add: going to university w Cove 👀 if this is too similar to the school hcs feel free to ignore lol I am just having a Normal Amount of thoughts about this boy :')

(Imagine renting an apartment with him and basically living like a married couple tho........ him driving you to class when it rains so you don't have to walk........... lunch dates in the school cafeteria while you both complain about the shitty dining hall food..................)

Okay I'll stop here this is your writing blog lmao XD thank you in advance if you do take this request tho I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts!!

— cove university hcs

You Are So Real. as a uni student i feel sick to my stomach like WHY NOT ME? no cove for me? none for me????? sick sick sick sick

be real. cove asks "are you ready to go home?" and he smiles and it's especially the first few times that he blushes and grins at the thought of Having a Home With You.

^ very much jumped at the chance to live with you when you brought up the idea

cove had his schedule on his lock screen and yours on his home screen for a while. once the both of you figured out a routine and when you could find each other he switched it back to his usual photos (u r in them of course. how else is he going to motivate himself when he's studying)

he really really wishes he could have every single class with you which y'know,, unless you have the same major and same electives isn't going to happen. he gets much happier when you finally meet up after class

still, you guys definitely sat together and planned out your classes. both to try planning breaks together and also for general emotional support.

^ don't get me started on the morning of registration. the refreshing and tension for first year registration because you don't have a backup schedule? crazy.(also my uni website was Horrendously slow)

exam season is hell, obviously. cove checks on you periodically and asks how things are going. if you're prone to overworking his check-ins are how he gets you to take a break.

^ if you refuse he'll try to find a middle ground, but if he knows you need to rest cove Will get you to rest. he's frowning when he speaks. says a loving but firm "you won't be able to study well if you burn yourself out. can you take a break with me?"

exploring the campus with cove!! seeing the different buildings, finding different libraries, pretending you're different majors. you get it

^ the both of you walk around before the first day to figure out where your classes are. it's kind of tiring but you're prepared now so !

figures out what places you both eat at and will memorize your regular order so he can bring it to you

he talks to you whenever he feels homesick because who would understand better than you? you're his biggest source of comfort

the both of you watching those university student meal videos/tiktoks because dear god you can only handle campus food/restaurants for so long.

^ you also text your parents for their recipes and tips whenever you get particularly homesick

HIM DRIVING! gives you a Look when you say you can walk and it's raining or super cold. why would you even say that to him. if you can't drive, either he'll drive you or you walk together. there's no other options.

'sneaking' each other into the particularly big classes—especially the first year intro ones. i say 'sneaking' because it Isn't Difficult At All.

^ you end up just working on your own things, but the extra time together is always nice !!

thinking about cove forgetting his pencil (case) the day of an exam and asking you for one sheepishly. (said by girl who's done this twice.)

he'd love to tell you about what he learns from his major—i'd go ahead and assume it's in the realm of marine sciences. he'd tell you about something cool he learned or maybe already knew from his own research and get very excited !!

^ hopes you'll do the same with him. smth smth sharing is a love language smth smth

reading week and breaks. i just know this guy sighs as he looks at his study guides before saying "just a few more days," to himself. he needs you to remind him too because it's more comforting when he remembers he'll have time off with You

taking pictures together for yourselves and to update your families !!! teasingly taking photos of cove doing mundane things just because it's now at University. first lunch, first class, etc etc

cove totally supports you if you want to join a club or go to any events. he might not go to many, especially if they're bound to be crowded and loud, but he'll ask how it went and want to catch up

we all know there's a difference between high school morning classes and uni morning classes. but cove is a morning person and i can't imagine how many times i'd complain about a 10 am class while he woke up at 6 that morning

🏷 | @lordbugs @xfangirl-trashx @fifteenshadesofpinkk @lotus-sukimono @bakugosgrenade @vhenis @dreamtydraw

living together means it's that much easier for cuddle sessions after a long day (or any day.) cove is just as happy to come find you as he is to hold open his arms for you. whether you want to rant or have a distraction, he'll be there

**add on | COVE GETTING HIS ACCEPTANCE LETTER! you both opened it at the same time and the relief and excitement that washed over him was overwhelming.

#our life #cove holden #cove holden x reader #cove holden fluff #ol:ba

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rollinouttahere-writes · 5 months

Note

I know it wouldn't make sense timeline wise since (I'm assuming) Kaku takes Little Lucky when he first goes to inspect The Merry, so she wouldn't have a chance to know about Usopp getting beat up. But I just died at the thought of Franky finally managing to make it to CP-9's train car and the first thing he gets is an angry four year old who wants to get payback for her friend.

Also, hear me out on this, but have you ever considered a strays au but with Little Lucky? The utter chaos that she and Lizard could cause just from people underestimating them alone is endless. Plus, I think it'd be really cute and sweet for Doll to get to be around someone younger and help ensure their childhood is a happier and healthier one than her own. And neither her or Lizard had friends their own age growing up, I'm crying at how precious it could be for them to play with a little kid; it might be awkward and unnatural at first, but of course Luffy jumps in and everyone's having fun and laughing in less than a minute.

Little Lucky suddenly looking up to Lizard more because she bit a dude's fingers off is also just hilarious to me. Kaku is just trying to slowly cover her eyes because his paternal instincts say, "Hey, maybe this amount of bloodshed and dismemberment isn't the best thing for a small child to witness." Said small child later boasting to Zoro about how Lizard must be stronger than him because, "she doesn't even need a sword to hurt people with her mouth!" Spandam is sorely mistaken if he thinks Fukuro is going to be the only one repeating that story 😂

Kaku does take her when he goes to survey the Going Merry, but Luffy is able to get her back after breaking in to the Galley-La main building, so she does get a chance to find out about what happened. It might be more upsetting this way because she doesn't get a chance to say goodbye to Usopp and she's mad at everyone involved for not finding a way to fix it. Friends are supposed to be able to talk things out! How did it get this bad?!

She spends the duration of the ride to Enies Lobby in Rocketman yelling at the Franky Family and trying to throw hands with them, and when she finally gets to Franky it is on SIGHT. He can't get a word in edgewise without being pelted with rocks from her slingshot or getting kicked and stomped on.

On a similar note, she's with Luffy and Chopper in not being able to tell who Sogeking is. She's sadly telling him how much he reminds her of her friend Usopp while wishing she could see him again because she never even got to say goodbye. It takes everything he has not to out himself, especially when she says she would upgrade him to 'best friend' status if he came back.

Little Lucky in the Strays AU would be so cute oh my god

Lizard is going through intense emotional turmoil upon realizing that there was a child with the Straw Hats and that her father probably would have killed her along with everyone else (he wouldn't have, having a child softened him a bit). Lizard is trying to avoid her because she feels guilty, but Lil Lucky follows her around like a duckling because 'oh new friend!'

She was already getting fond of Lil Lucky by the time they got to Skypeia, but after the Enel incident they are inseparable. Lizard is her personal body guard now, and that quickly grows into her taking on a big sister role. Lucky thinks Lizard is the coolest and always cheers her on when she's committing acts of unspeakable violence.

Doll finds Lil Lucky to be the easiest person to interact with right after joining. Little kids don't notice how awkward she is around people, so she's less self conscious. Doll loves to play with her and indulge in normal childhood things that she didn't get to do growing up.

#strays au #little lucky au #sleepyone2three #crocodad series #playing with doll #usopp #franky the cyborg #cyborg franky

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hannahssimblr · 7 months

Text

Chapter One

2010

The rain is thunderous on midsummer’s day. It comes down in sheets, whipping against the side of the car as we crawl down a narrow, coastal road that opens out onto the Irish sea. Still, despite the weather there are parked cars snaking along on both sides of us, two wheels up on the footpath as drenched holiday makers weave around them, clinging to sunglasses and straw hats as they retreat from the beach.

It is one of those summer days that feels utterly wintry. The sky became dark suddenly, big black clouds engulfing blue, and a fierce wind whipped through the dunes, tossing sand in the faces of those who had yet to escape back to their cars and caravans. It feels apocalyptic in a comical sort of way; Mothers seizing small children out of sand and seawater motes they’ve spent the morning digging, surrendering teal striped windbreakers, beach towels and sarongs to the gail. Plastic spades and buckets abandoned and overflowing with rainwater.

I feel scammed by this. Kelly had gone on and on about how the weather in the south east was nicer than anywhere else in the country. She actually used the word “microclimate” at least twice while trying to convince Claire and I to spend our summer in her familys’ mobile home, but I’m irked as I look out the back seat window at the dire sights in this resort town. The freak storm had only started when we were mere minutes from the strand and it instantly felt like our holiday had been jinxed.

Kelly’s older brother Shane laughs uproariously as he drives his Fiat Punto through a huge puddle right by a queue of holiday makers somehow desperate enough to hold their place outside the local cafe. They cry out in indignation as a wave of rainwater sloshes over them.

Kelly, in the passenger seat, thumps him. “That’s embarrassing when you do that”

“That’s embarrassing when you do that” he mimics, in the way that an eight year old child would.

She scoffs. “A bit of self control wouldn’t go astray, the only person who thinks that’s funny is you.”

“It’s funny.” He confirms. “More embarrassing to me that people would be that desperate for a cappuccino.”

I don’t have siblings, but watching Kelly and Shane, I imagine it must be liberating to have an outlet for your frustration like that. I sometimes feel like I have an unusual amount of anger swirling inside my body. Recently, after seeing an open window on the third floor locker room at school, I asked Claire if it’s normal to fantasise shoving one of the girls who bullied me in second year out of it, and she said that it wasn’t, which honestly surprised me. I really did think that everybody had violent fantasies from time to time. The window one isn’t even really my worst one.

When I visited the Healys’ house when I was smaller I used to find the way that Kelly and Shane interacted with each other overwhelming. He’d yank on her ponytail hard if she held on to the remote control for ten seconds longer than they’d agreed, and then she’d kick him in the shins with her stiff patent school shoes on and they’d both shriek and claw at each other while I sat watching, frozen in shock on the couch behind them. Things like this never happened in my home. It was just me reading or playing quietly while my parents watched TV.

When we were eight and Shane was nine, I witnessed him accidentally elbow Kelly directly in the eye socket when she tried to grab his Playstation controller out of his hands. I don’t remember why she wanted it, but I still remember her wails. She had a black eye for three weeks, and I don’t think that Shane ever said that he was sorry. I was nervous around him for a while after that.

I feel now that a black eye or two might have done me some good in my life. Knowing Kelly today, she’s aspirational for how she never holds anger inside or bottles up her emotions like I do. When something bothers her she just says it. I wish I could be like that, but I’m cursed with shyness and a terror of taking up too much space. Kelly and I have fought so many times during our long friendship, and yet the confrontation never seems to get easier for me. I feel it like a rock in my stomach, a dizzy nausea and a thumping heart when I know she’s getting ready to confront me. I always end up taking the blame and apologising to her, then spend weeks furious at her and at myself for not speaking up. Kelly doesn’t think like that. When I say I’m fine she believes me, and when I tell her she’s right she agrees. I imagine that to live inside her head is a blissful, anxiety free paradise.

“Do you have the keys to the front door?” Kelly asks her brother as we clamber out of the Punto. The grass under the wheels is so sodden with rain that I can feel the tires sinking into it already, and as soon as my feet touch the ground, they’re swallowed by it too.

“Ah,” I hear Claire exclaim from the other side of the car. “That’s my flip flop gone now. Shane, will you bring my suitcase inside for me? I need to fish my sandal out of the muck” To my great surprise, he actually does it, and makes a big show of carrying as many bags as he can manage, making sure to check if she’s looking at him doing it. Casual. Claire is oblivious to him anyway, she’s used to boys just doing what she asks but I’m amazed that Shane is going along with it too. For as long as I’ve known him he’s been as nasty to Kelly’s friends as he is to her. All of us an extension of his little sister, and each one as annoying and stupid as the last. It feels like only last week that he sabotaged our back garden camping trip by firing stones down at us from the treehouse.

There is less history with Claire though, we’ve only been hanging out with her for about a year and a half. She’s a good person, casual, easy going, and her mother pays for her to get highlights in her hair and use makeup from the expensive department stores, so she always looks exactly the way that she wants to look – perfectly effortlessly beautiful. Everyone loves her too. She’s the genuinely kind and generous type. Finding her among a sea of hormonal teenagers in our all girls catholic school was like a miracle, there was never any drama, she never wanted to gossip or speak badly about anybody else. She’s blessed with pure content and happiness.

I lag behind as Kelly and Claire scurry into the mobile home as I try to wipe the mud from my runners. They’re laughing together and trying to shield their hair from the rain, and when I see them together like that I feel a pang of jealousy. I had been both of their friends first, and lately it feels like they’re closer to each other than they are to me. I have to take my shoes off at the door and leave them out on the deck. Maybe the rain will clean them. This summer is going to be great. I tell myself. I am going to be confident and have fun. It’s become like a mantra to me now. Perhaps if I can convince myself that nothing will go wrong on this holiday then I’ll manifest positivity.

#sims story #sims 4 story #writing #simlit #sims 4 #romance #fiction #sims #sims4 storytelling #sims 4 storytelling #sims storytelling #lucky girl part 1

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bunnidid-reviews · 1 year

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is it frowned upon to wish that one could dissociate or have an alter take over in moments that are awful and stressful? genuine question

Hmmm, this blog is really more intended on reviewing and sharing media about complex dissociative disorders, or could easily be related to CDDs. Certainly not an advice blog for this or anything else > < I think any more general questions about DID can be forwarded to @sundropglass (main blog) if at all, just to stay on topic here.

But since you asked, I may as well share my perspective a little bit. I urge you to read it all.

Of course it's something anyone would want. Shut off and let the stress be taken care of for someone else? go off to fairyland a bit? It's actually an extremely sophisticated way of functioning in the midst of trauma; tuck it away, get through the thing that you might otherwise feel like you're dying from.

But where does that stress go?

Say that you had a very stressful day. Maybe one thing after another kept going wrong. And all day, there was absolutely nothing you could do because you had to carry on with a smile on your face and act like everything's fine, while more dismays pile on top of you. Maybe on top of that, you end up having an argument with a loved one and now you have social anxiety and no sense of safety or relief.

This is not out of the norm. People live very stressful lives all the time. It builds up though, all that stress is piled into your immune system if you don't have any release.(Expressing emotions in a healthy manner) It comes out in the ways that maybe you get ill, or spend all day in the bathroom, or get a migraine. This is what we call the body keeping the score (a book I should read tbh). What the mind doesnt handle(dissociates from), the body will.

This is what people with CDDs regularly go through. Trauma = stress that's beyond your range of coping. Chronic trauma means chronic stress, just stored away in pockets upon pockets where its never dealt with until much later in life. This is why I don't think I know a single system who doesn't have some sort of chronic health issues. The initial trauma may not have killed them, but maybe the health issues that come from all this chronic stress might just finish the job.

This isn't even addressing what the disorder implies mentally.

Look up the symptoms of PTSD, look into personality disorders, attachment disorders, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation. Any trauma-based symptoms could come with a CDD, because there's nearly nothing special at all about DID or OSDD. They're not sectioned off 'incredible' disorders as much as media or people on the internet will imply. We are normal people who have been hurt. A lot.

We have this disorder because no one came to save us, so we had to turn to ourselves, sometimes at an extremely young age. There's no measuring the amount of hurt it takes for a young child to feel this alone.

Going off this ask alone, but because you wish you could dissociate to such the intensity as you're suggesting, tells me that you haven't actually. Daydreaming or spacing out is a very minor case of dissociation, but the level at which you're having alters would imply that you're hoping to dissociate much further than you actually think you want. Do you not want to recognize your own spouse, or be completely unable to be present in the best moments of your life? This doesn't shut off when you're happy again.

Say fine fine fine, yes yes yes to all of this, you could deal, because at least you'd be another person who would bear the responsibility for you.

I hate to tell you this, but that's not how alters work. They are, at the end of the day, still part of you. They don't magically whisk away all this stress they face, they'd still hold onto it, be strongly effected by it, and you're a lot more likely to have the same stress come back over and over again and go unprocessed because of the fragmentation involved.

If it's to ease off some of the responsibility of being yourself, then.. Well that's not what happens with DID either. Those of us with a CDD tend to feel overly responsible for everything around us, actually. It's not the escape you're hoping for.

In a short answer: Yes it is very believable to want this disorder, to want alters. That's understandable even!

But I'm also going to say this is frowned upon. There is a LOT more to these disorders than some spacing out and some cool characters. I hope you can understand a little more why this mentality is frowned upon; no one who has it actually wants it when it comes down to it

BUT i HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU ANON!! Please listen

It's okay to want to be someone else to get through the stress. It's even okay to turn off your brain and space out. These are natural human things. Just.. They don't have to be a disorder. There are some recommendations for coping that aren't hoping to have a CDD, but might suit you if you struggle with this:

Try to analyze your life and see what it is that's causing you so much stress that it makes you want to not exist in such a way. If you're in a bad environment that you can't change, there are still little things you can do to make it better for yourself

Are there things you CAN change? Maybe you can look into getting professional help or finding a new job, or even so much as regularly tidying up the space you're in

Look up coping mechinisms and grounding techniques

Take breaks and let yourself really unwind. Read a book or go outside and look at clouds or something until you feel calm. I promise this feels way better than dissociation

Fun Coping Tools That Feel Like What You Want Out Of Dee Eye Dee:

create a story in your head. If you come up with a world all your own to explore, it feels like having an inner world

Create original characters you can "be". By this I mean be imaginative like when we were all kids. >>Here's a really cool version of what adults can do if 'playing pretend' seems too childish for you<<

Have some staring out a window time. Just let your mind go for a bit

None of this has to be disordered to be helpful, and have nearly the same effect that you're hoping for.

If you are at a point where you want to not exist for suicidal reasons, I really urge you to get some help. There's always someone who wants you to be around, even if thats some time in the future.

#askies #dissociative identity disorder #why yes I did word vomit on this sorry! I have some feelings about it #I think my blog does a not so great job at showing the harder parts of DID becauseeeee Iiiii am reviewing media thats not always accurate #I want people with CDDs to feel less alone in representation but it is far from wanting others to have the disorder bc its fun #actuallydid

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