11/22/22 wt 248.4
OK what do I want to say about yesterday.
I went to the fellowship dinner, it was good.
I wore an outfit I was not super comfortable with as it shows my shape.
I had invited lots of people to this thing, but no one showed up.
There was a wide variety of food (which I did not take a picture of)(social weird).
I visited with a couple of ladies that I might be becoming friends with now? 🫨 They really seemed awesome. Intelligent women!
My self evaluation is: mostly good WITH TWEAKS NEEDED FOR FUTURE.
I had one plate of the meal. Heavy on the protein, avoided the fried chicken, took the broccoli. Initially took 1 little mini cake.
The tweaks needed:
To quote Alan Roberts, I just need to quit eating so fucking much.
I was socially uncomfortable, and I think I kept going back for this or that to keep busy while I was visiting with new people.
Someone mentioned there was pecan pie, and I realized that I had missed the whole dessert table. I grabbed a piece of pie and 2 cookies.
And eventually went back for more little cakes.
So that is my note to myself. Have the pie, but next time, have a smaller slice. No cookies. No extra cakes. One and done, bitch.
Also, take the nomorbidity before dinner. Am thinking of actually moving it to earlier in the day.
Other note: stop MF shopping. No fucking more. Gawd. The debt you accrue is in fucking sane.
Posting a pic on here is terrifying to me, as I want to stay anonymous. But it is pushing outside my social comfort zone, which I am working on.
I had one where I edited out my face and a bunch of detrius in the background, but idk what happened. I clicked save, and it disappeared, like it just doesn't show up when I try to add pics. I did feel super hot. Even if people could see my shape and my giant insecurity of my giant belly. I think this shirt had a flattering fit, tho. So! wth, here is a closer pick of the top, too.
Yes, I mixed a print and a plaid. And I think this is my first time wearing those boots. I wore a white leather jacket and a teal crossbody purse.
Only 1 half hour workout yesterday, the fit class at work, low impact cardio. But I was a holy terror with cleaning, especially for such a busy day, which actually needed to be done. My legs are still tender from Saturdays workout, so I am not going to chide myself.
The Thesis blend of the day was: Confidence.
I remarked to my sister that I was confident I was getting shit done!
It was an incredibly good feeling to have energy and motivation to do *anything*
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A few tips for young trans men/boys, transmascs, anybody who wants tips:
If somebody makes you insecure about your masculinity or manhood, 9/10 times, they're trying to sell you something (and the "something" won't be worth you fretting about)
Wash your face before shaving and use a good shaving cream. Always make sure your razors are sharp
Your body doesn't need to look like a Hollywood star's body. They are most certainly dehydrated, and they are not a realistic depiction of a masculine or male form
Dress in whatever way is most comfortable, including dressing like Adam Sandler
Military-grade is often used as a marketing scheme, save your money
If you aren't happy right now, one day you will be. This is a threat and a promise
Your emotions are not "good" or "bad," they are emotions. Let yourself feel them even if they are uncomfortable
Masculinity and/or being a man are yours to define, and I cannot stress how important it is to have a relationship with your masculinity and/or manhood that is defined by you
You're allowed to have any relationship with your pre-coming out self that you want or makes the most sense with your realization that you're trans
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my mom: you should wait until you’re 25 to start hrt
me: haha but i’ll be. dead
my mom: suicide is selfish.
me: there is no winning with you
transphobic parents don’t realize that they literally kill kids.
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