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jjkeremika · 6 months

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Here to Forever

description: date nights with the AoT men (plus historia lol) <3

pairing: Eren, Levi, Reiner, Armin, Porco, Erwin, Jean, Zeke, Historia, all x (fem!) reader

like A LITTLE nsfw/smutty

Eren

Eren and you almost always went to the movie theaters--your man loves a good trip to the movies. Sometimes you would suggest a meal before, but he was always reluctant, complaining that then he'd be too full to eat the movie snacks. You always rolled your eyes with a large smile on your face, usually caving.

Movie choice alternated each time, you often opting for comedies and animations while Eren advocated for actions and sci-fi's. He liked to sit in the back, able to view the entire screen, usually directly under the speaker so no one could hear your hushed whispers and hearty breaths.

Although you enjoyed a good movie now and then, Eren's eyes were fixed to the screen, absorbed in the film that he wouldn't even notice when you asked for the candy.

So you always enjoyed the bad movies the most, because Eren's attention was on you; and the fact that you had to be very, very quiet while his hands groped your breasts, while they traveled to your bottoms, turned you both on. Sometimes he'd pull you onto his lap, his fingers intimately gracing the sensitive spot between your legs as he nibbled at your earlobe, sucked on your neck. You kept going back, because you've only been asked to leave once.

Levi (age gap)

Levi didn't talk a whole ton, but he liked listening to you. He fervently believed you were smarter than him, always spouting interesting ideas and bringing up counterpoints. And you were so damn kind to everyone, always considerate, and he genuinely did not give a damn about anyone.

Except you. He cared an awful lot about you. Having repeatedly been kicked down by life (he didn't really talk about that), born into a shitty lot in life, had the rug pulled out from under him and lost everything, he built wall after wall and thought he'd lost access to his emotions. Then he found you. And somehow your naivety and wide-eyed view reinvigorated something deep inside.

Although relatively stoic and unemotional in public and rarely voiced his positive opinions with friends, Levi was, in some sense, rather vulnerable when alone with you. He was quite open about his infatuation with you in private; his eyes frequently roaming your body, his mouth pressing hundreds of kisses to your skin.

Then there was the vulnerability that manifested in unique ways. The immense desire to have you, the fiery need to have you on your knees, taking him, all of him, feeling him so deeply it'll last for hours, craving him so deeply to last for days. After he was satisfied with the number of times you'd called his name, begged for more, he'd take the best care of you, wrapping you in his softest sweatpants and giving you the warmest kisses and making you both the most delicious food.

So while most couple's dates consisted of the date then sex, yours was reversed, always working up an appetite.

Reiner

Reiner's dates, a generous term, were always spontaneous activities: playing soccer at midnight, hiking some oh it's only a few miles trails, biking or rollerblading around the city. Even though the physical activity was exhausting and sometimes even daunting, Reiner's presence made it infinitely better.

He'd carry everything, never letting you carry any bags (not that you'd complain). He'd offer various snacks and water, offer to frequently slow the pace or stop and admire the surroundings. Uh, why are you looking at me like that? you'd ask, an eyebrow raised. Hm? I told you. I'm admiring my surroundings, he'd answer, the sunlight reflecting off his brilliant smile.

Hiking was the most frequent activity during nice weather, which, you couldn't deny, definitely had its perks. During higher altitude breaks with clearings in the trees, or at the peak of the climb, when the view was the most clear and pristine and the sunlight was basking on you.

The view was always worth it, and you'd preen as Reiner's lips would connect with yours, smile widely as he gripped your thighs and picked you up, carrying you until your back was against a rock edge or a tree. His large hands groped your cheeks as he kissed sloppily down the middle of your neck towards your chest, already breathing heavy. You smiled as the tingling sensation and a warm heat spread throughout your body, the gorgeous landscape disappearing as your eyes blinked shut with pleasure.

Armin

Armin liked to have you all to himself, often taking you on dates to secluded places or sitting in the corner of restaurants. He was the most gentlemanly and domestic, packing extra jackets and carrying sneakers on the nights you wore heels.

His favorite site was under the large oak tree in the meadows, near where the rabbit's den was. He would set up a picnic blanket in the shade, removing fake glasses for champagne and perfectly portioned meals.

Armin loved telling you how beautiful you looked in the setting sun, the golden light highlighting your features just right. He composed lyrical hymns on the spot, accidentally stringing into teary-eyed poems and soft-spoken sonnets.

The sunset is so beautiful, you would say. Not as beautiful as you, he would reply. You'd roll your eyes because, well, cheesy, before he'd continue: Words elude me as they know they're not worthy of you; Dictionaries are developed to describe you; I could list ten thousand things and none would be as beautiful as you.

And you'd kiss him as the sun dipped beyond the horizon, as the stars shined second to you, illuminating your face as you moaned in ecstasy, intensifying Armin's blue eyes and blond hair as he stared at you from between your legs, his tongue writing love letters in cursive.

Porco

You were the first person Galliard had ever been on a date with, which honestly surprised you. His tough exterior, confident demeanor, honest humor, and cynical smile was so charming you had a hard time believing him when he coyly told you that you were his first, the pink blush on his cheeks just so cute.

During the warm evenings you'd walk along the beach together, enjoying the expansive view of the stars and the soft sounds of the waves landing against the sandy shoreline, watching the tide change.

The sway of you in his huge arms always synced to the sway of the tide, a gentle rocking that soothed your body and mind. You'd close your eyes as his lips would travel along the back of your neck and upper spine. Your hands would travel to his hair and you'd push your hips back into his. Eventually he'd grab your hips and forcefully spin you around, kissing you and dragging you to the soft sand.

He always returned you home after, moist swollen lips and pleasantly tingling bodies, sharing knowing looks and giggles at the dry-humping and grinding that transpired; the sand you find at home for days after becoming an intimate inside joke between you.

Erwin (age gap)

Erwin was the first older man you've been with, and you weren't sure how you had ever survived before. Experienced, mature, muscular, capable, successful, stable.

You were his priority. Were you happy with your wardrobe? He'll buy you a new one. No one to go to the store with? He'll take you shopping wherever you'd like. Did you like the furniture in your apartment? He'll buy you a new set. Did paying bills stress you out? He'll pay it for you. What else would I want to spend my money on if not you? he'd tell you when you'd protest, capturing you within his large arms, pressing you into his strong chest.

Date nights were events, where you both dressed in your nicest garments and ate at a nice restaurant. Erwin would open and close the car door for you, push and pull the chair out for you, pour the bottle of wine for you, order for you, telling you he knew what you liked (he always did).

During the dinner the clouds in his blue eyes whisked into lustful storms. He'd pay the check and hurry you out of the restaurant with his hand glued to your lower back, complaining in your ear about how the food never tasted as good as you did, how he'd wished you'd stayed in and he'd had you instead. He'd rush you into the car, practically running to the other side of the car and racing home.

Jean

Jean prepared you dinner for your first date, buying the ingredients fresh that morning and preparing it from scratch, still cooking (about an hour from being done) when you arrived at his apartment. He'd begged his roommate to leave for the night, and he'd already prepared the table for a romantic evening (about 5 hours before the date started).

He greeted you with a peck on the cheek, a move that you watched him internally question for a split-second, one that he then tried to move on from by awkwardly shuffling you to the counter. You'd smile, a light blush forming from the proximity and the heat of the room.

He liked preparing you dinners for dates, frequently remaking the meal you'd had that first night, kissing you on the cheek every time in homage to that first night. Jean would shower you with compliments, making up for the moments where the sarcastic comments would slip through.

After a few dates you started arriving earlier to cook with him, chopping and dicing vegetables while he seasoned and operated the stove. He'd trap you between his arms against the counter, pressing kiss after kiss to your cheeks and lips and pulling you close, your hands traveling to the growing bulge in his jeans, only moving away when you both started to smell something burning.

Zeke

You had first met Zeke on the lawn at a concert. He was shirtless, sitting on a flannel fabric (probably his shirt), waving both hands in the cool autumn air, a lit lighter in one hand, swaying to the beat of the music, smoking something between his lips.

He put it out as soon as he noticed you standing nearby, scrambling to stand up and started to talk to you between opening acts, somehow managing to intrigue you enough for a date outside the concert venue (totally didn't have anything to do with his six-pack abs).

Although keeping a cool, calm, and collected demeanor, Zeke was always nervous on your dates, constantly wondering if you were enjoying yourself, if the conversation was stimulating enough or if the activities were entertaining enough. He never said anything, but you could read it in the unsteady glances and nervous nail biting.

When you wrapped your arms around his neck, you'd step on your tip-toes and press a soft kiss to his lips, swooping in to ease his anxieties. I had a great time with you, you'd whisper against his lips, thanks for a great night.

He'd tighten his grip around your waist, pull you in as close as you could get, until the only space left between you was the air in your lungs and he was going to squeeze that out too. His attitude would shift as the blood started pumping to his legs, smacking your ass and biting your bottom lip. Let me make it so much better.

Historia

When Historia had first confessed her feelings for you at the coffee shop, you were slightly surprised. The hand-holding and faux-flirting was something she did with everyone. You never realized it was special with you, that it was real with you.

She liked to spoil you, and though she always needed to convince you, you always gave in, letting her buy just that one thing for you or take you to that place you really wanted to go.

Museums were where you both frequently visited, the quiet ambiance perfect for you two. You both talked so much outside of date nights that you had nothing to say during them, and observing art was a hobby you both shared (one that you imprinted on her (she likes it because you do)).

You found out later that Historia considered that time at the coffee shop your first date. But you considered it that first night at the museum, when your hands grazed in front of the Mona Lisa, when you both felt pulled together for the first time, when you both leaned in and kissed for the first time, feeling like no eyes were on you.

Despite that Historia was very affectionate, that first time being an exemption, she never kissed you in public or on camera. That was shared between you two behind closed doors, and you two alone.

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koolades-world · 7 days

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Hellooo

I really need a fic abt dis rn, my brain is just so 🫨

So, if it's fine, could u do something abt the brothers with an mc who base their worthiness on scores and grades? Like, if mc gets a bad score and grades, they'd constantly feel Worthless and would isolate themselves from everyone. They'd also skip meals and oversleep, feeling like everyone's disappointed at them.

Thank youu!-

hi! yes, of course!

writing this while wearing fake nails that'll hopefully pop off soon haha so if there's spelling mistakes where only one letter missing, that's because i didn't hit the key hard enough with my nail lol

enjoy :)

Mc who bases their worthiness on grades

Lucifer

while he doesn’t pick up immediately, he noticed after you got a bad test score, you’d not be around as much, like meal times

he puts two and two together, and gently confronts you

he offers you help with your work and studying, if that’s what you want, or just his support

either way, you’ve secured exclusive access to his room for peace, quiet, and his encouragement

Mammon

since he spends so much time around you, he catches on quickly

while his bad grades bounce off him, he can see how hard you take it when he tries to joke with you about it to make you feel better

while it’s hard for him to be real with you, he lets you know you’ll forever be the hardest working person he’ll ever know

you’re so resilient and for someone who’s been thrown into a strange world, you’re doing amazing. his late night snack runs always have your favorite in it now

Levi

while you never directly told him, he kind of saw his own self destructive habits in you

at first he’s not sure what to do

does he mention it outright? eventually he got so upset seeing you like that, he blurted it all out

in this, he tells you just how much he cares about you and now he’s a flustered mess

Satan

despite how well he does, he always feels like he's living in the shadow of lucifer and how smart he is. it's part of the reason he picked up reading: to learn and differentiate himself from lucifer

belphie can put him to shame when he just tries and he hates that

he really understands how you feel and is quick to tell you while it’s not abnormal to feel, he understands you

he knows it’s not a healthy habit and he wants to work through it together with you

Asmo

he knows despite outer appearances, not everything can be as it seems

he notices your self care seems to wane around the times you do poorly in class

when this happens, he marches down to your room with a self are lit in hands and demands you relax because he knows you’re so much more than a grade

he just wants you to know to and he’ll do whatever it takes to make you see you how he sees you

Beel

the first time he sees you haven’t eaten in at least a day, he’s quick to offer you something to eat

he’s not sure why you seem to be trying to avoid the question or say no politely

eventually, once he learns, he sweeps you into a giant hug and he lets you know you’re more than just the letter or number attached to your work

he knows you try so hard, and as long as you don’t give up, you’re going to be alright. everyone has their off days and he’s going to do his best to make those days better for you

Belphie

when you begin to join him in progressively getting up later and later in the morning, he knows something is wrong

one morning, after everyone has left, he’ll hop in bed with you and gently talk to you about what’s been going on while hugging you

he offers you help with your work and tells you a grade doesn’t define you in relation to how other see you, especially him

he’s in no place to judge and he knows sometimes all people need is a helping hand from a loved one

#obey me #obey me!#obey me x reader #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me belphie #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date

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devildomditzy · 2 years

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With an MC who thinks they’re not good enough for them

Made this as a personal vent/comfort piece for my self

If you start thinking bad thought about yourself, you just gotta think “the brothers would be so hurt if they caught me thinking this way”

Tags/Warnings: Self-Deprecating Thoughts

Lucifer

Takes it very personal

As pride incarnate, he values himself on making his guests feel comfortable

Even if it’s not him causing the thought, he’ll still see it upon himself to try and fix it

You don’t even have to say it, he just knows (okay, maybe you vented to Beel and Beel told Lucifer cause he was worried about you but that’s beside the point)

“MC, I was unaware I was doing you the disservice of not imploring your importance to us. Let me make that up to you.”

You don’t know how he knows, but you don’t question it.

He prepares tea for the both of you, ready to have a full conversation about self reflection.

Every negative comment you make about yourself he’s quick to counter

“You’ve truly become the gem of the Devildom, MC. I cannot be dissuaded from believing the same goes for the human realm. You’re very dear to me.”

Mammon

Oh hell no

He will not stand for it

He had asked you to attend one of his shoots earlier this week but you had never responded to his invitation, changing the subject every time he brought it up

At first he thinks you just don’t want to go, which hurts him. You catch onto this, and not wanting him to think that the real reason comes out

“It’s just… you’re a model. Not to mention you were a literal angel sculpted by the Gods, and you make an even hotter demon. You’re on the cover of every magazine in the Devildom. Wherever we go you get recognized and fawned over. Hell, you’ve even got a fan club here at school. You’re also one of the most powerful demons and leaders of this realm. Why the hell would you wanna be seen with some pathetic, average looking human like me.”

His heart breaks

He blames himself for not catching on quicker

“Oi! I’m not gonna let anyone talk about my human like that, even if you are that human!”

In the middle of his rant about how everything about you is perfect to him, from your gorgeous appearance to your terrible humor, to your radiant personality, he gets an idea.

Its like you can see a lightbulb flash over his head, he gets giddy like a child, taking out his phone and quickly dialing a number

As it rings it rings, he proudly says, “If ya got a problem with me bein’ a model, I guess we’ll have to make you one too!”

His agency is actually thrilled to have a chance to shoot Diavolo’s esteemed human exchange student. It’s like a once in a millennia chance.

And he’s holding your hand proudly through it. Now he can show you off to the whole Devildom.

You were nervous about it all week until you saw the photos printed on every magazine in town

You stood next to Mammon, both in your Rad uniforms posing in front of the school. You breath hitches in your throat when you see just how adoringly he is staring at you in each and every photo

He may be a professional, but no amount of training could have stopped his love for you from shining through his expressions

He rips these pictures out of his copy, hanging them both all over his and your rooms

“Now the whole Devildom knows we’re a match made in heaven! Well….shit…uh…ya know what I meant.”

Levi

All that stuff about you being a normie, you know he was just kidding right!?

You open up to him against your will, as you both engaged in another weird card game he bought off of Akuzon, and were bound by the rules to confess a burden or be stuck in the games limbo forever

How could anyone (let alone you) think that about his Henry? His player two?

“H-hey! You’re not giving yourself enough credit! You’re super cool, MC! Like, boss level status!!!”

By the shine and sincerity in his eyes, you know this boy is telling the truth

When you flash him a smile and let out a gorgeous laugh, let’s just say the boy melts

Scoop him off the floor and into your arms, he’ll appreciate it.

Asmo

You have to realize there is only one thing in this world that Asmo thinks can even come close to comparing to him and it’s you

If he is Adonis, then you are Aphrodite (and vice versa)

When he sees you staring in the mirror for a beat too long and learns it’s NOT because you’re admiring your own beauty

oh honey

you’ve got a big storm comin’

We’re talking a self care whirlwind here

He’s got face creams, he’s got body scrubs, he’s got lotions, he’s got makeup, he’s bringing out the big guns

And he’s doing all the work too. Asmo is making sure you feel pampered and radiant by the end of the night

If self care doesn’t work, then he’s got other ways of convincing you *ahem hem*

Satan

You’re preaching to the choir hun

He can’t help himself, he compares his every move with Lucifer’s, worrying he’s not as good as him; worrying he’ll never best him

He knows how much that feeling sucks though, and he never ever wants you to even have an inkling of those thoughts

It happens during a study session in the library, he notices just how out of it you are today

“And what exactly is the correct terminology for hypnotizing someone with cursed speech, MC?…….MC?”

When you finally snap out of your haze and meet his eyes, he knows something in wrong

He’ll softly but steadfast question you, even if you don’t tell him the complete truth, he knows exactly what’s wrong, he can see it in your eyes. The same look he sees when he looks in the mirror.

“I’m just not as smart as you, Satan. I’m just a human. Let’s face it, I’m never gonna pass these exams. Diavolo’s gonna send me home because I’m just not good enough. I’m not as great as you all make me out to be.”

At those words, panic sets into his eyes temporarily before they soften

“MC, you’re the most remarkable being I’ve ever met. Quite frankly, I never thought a human could survive down here- well, there’s Solomon, but I wouldn’t quantify him as human. You’re certainly more clever than you think. Honestly, you’re not as great as we all think. You’re even better than that.

After his little pep talk, he’ll take you back to his room for a little study break. He’ll make you tea, read to you, nap with you, whatever makes you feel better.

You enchant him <3

Beel

This has Beel utterly baffled because the poor boy cannot wrap his head around why you or anyone else would ever have a negative thought about you

He may not speak it all the time because he just assumes you know but you are his everything

If even an inkling of a negative thought comes out of your mouth, Beel will stare at you straight faced for a beat before completely enveloping you into his strong arms

He’s not the best with words (usually, he leaves the poetics for his twin) but he will really make an attempt to chase these doubtful emotions from your mind

“MC, I don’t know what made you feel this way but I promise it’s far from the truth. Now, how can I help you feel better?”

Belphie

omg bestie him too, small world!!!

I mean, how could he be enough for you? He tried to kill you!!!

Mutual and constant assurance common between the two of you

And ever since the events of that day, a giant question has been gnawing at the back of your mind. You can’t help but let it slip one day

“Belphie, are you sure you love ME? That i’m not just a replacement in your mind for Lilith? You hated me until you found out I was her descendant…I-I mean, how could you change your mind that fast?”

He’s stunned to say the least, but shakes his head and softly smiles at you before stating

“Yes, I did hold a grudge against humans, but not particularly you. I would have attacked any human who found their way in front of me back then. Lilith is my sister, of course I love and miss her. But you MC? You are the light of my life. I could only see red until I saw through your human nature and finally saw the beautiful soul that is you. I realized I was wrong that day, wrong for a very long time. Now, I don’t want to waste anymore time, I want to spend it all with you.”

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mayajadewrites · 1 month

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I Wish I Hated You (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

story summary: You don't do second chances. Especially after you gave your heart to Levi Ackerman, and he decided to throw it away so the next person has to repair the damage. Will Levi put his ego aside and finally admit his feelings for you are far deeper than you imagined? Or is a second chance out of the question?

ao3

C H A P T E R E I G H T : T O M O R R O W

WARNING: explicit scenes in this chapter!! let me know what you think :)

Levi lead you into his living room that you were all too familiar with. His expression was... blank. You couldn't tell if he was sad, mad, or anything in between.

You sit on the couch opposite to the chair he's sitting in. "Levi, I-"

"You should know this," Levi looks down. "I'm not the best at... well, talking. My mother is someone who was... so special to me."

"Levi." You press your hand on top of his. "I'm here to listen."

Levi sighs as he sits back in his chair. "My mother and I grew up poor. Like, dirt poor." Levi started talking. It feels like it's been forever since you and him had an actual conversation instead of just arguing. "We were couch surfing and squatting in abandoned houses. Then, she got sick. We don't know what it was since we couldn't afford to go to a doctor. We couldn't even afford food. I was starving every day. Dreaming of bread." Levi looks down. "One day, she wouldn't even attempt to get out of bed. Or even talk to me. I remember her telling me about her brother, my uncle, and I had his phone number written down. I begged the corner store to let me use their phone, and thankfully they let me."

Your heart sinks thinking of how lonely Levi felt. How he was lacking basic needs.

"I called Kenny and he came and stayed with my mother during her last moments. I stood on the other side of her with my hand in hers. I remember her saying, 'Kenny, please take care of my Levi.' The pressure I was feeling from her hand suddenly just... disappeared. My mother's body was still there, but her soul was gone."

Tears start to well up in your eyes. Levi's eyes were glued to the floor as he spoke, his deep voice cracking when he spoke of the final moments with his mother.

"Then I went and lived with Kenny. Which... wasn't the best either. He fed me, but he wanted me to learn to fend for myself. I would cause fights in school and Kenny had to beg them to let me stay." Levi cleared his throat. "He didn't know how to be a parent. I don't blame him. His sister died and left behind me. My father, who the hell knows who he is - Kenny felt he had no choice. But he did have a choice. He could've just-"

"Levi, he could not just leave you."

"He could've."

"But he didn't. You're his nephew, I'm sure he saw you and saw some of himself."

"Well, when I turned 18, he left. He told me I was an adult now and I had to figure life out. I was being... well, to put it lightly, a delinquent when I met Erwin. He's a tall, well kept man and I wanted to steal from him. He looked like he had money so he was the perfect target. For whatever reason, he wanted to be my friend. He's been in my life ever since." Levi finally looked at you. "He opened his home to me. He fed me. He taught me the ways of being a business man."

You didn't know how deep Erwin and Levi's friendship was. They're bonded brothers.

His mother left, Kenny left - no wonder he likes to leave. Must be an Ackerman thing.

You stared into Levi's eyes - watching the storm brew. Your heart sank as you explored his face, your feelings for him resurfacing.

"Now you know why I am the way I am." Levi put his hands on his knees. "I don't blame you if you want to leave."

"Levi." You walk over to his chair, slowly sitting on his lap. "Do you want me to leave?" You gently wrap your arms around him.

"I think you want to -"

"Answer my question." You grab his chin, pulling his face towards you. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No." Levi shook his head. "I never want you to leave."

You felt like there was life brought back to you. The piece of your heart that broke off when you left Levi mended back to you.

"We have to start over then." You caress his face gently. You wanted to just hold him during this vulnerable moment. "Like, we're going on dates. Almost like we were never together."

"Hm?" Levi tilted his head. "But we did date... for 2 years."

"Levi. Do you want to make this work or no?"

"I do."

"Then we're starting over. I don't want us to jump back into this and make the same mistakes."

Levi nods, letting his hand rest on your thigh. "Are you sure you don't want to leave? I'm giving you an out."

"Levi Ackerman." Theres attitude in your voice. "If I wanted to leave, I would. I have before - remember?"

"I'm sorry I made you leave."

"Shhh." You pull Levi into your chest, letting him lean on you. You felt his eyelashes flutter on your skin as he closed his eyes. His breath is slow and you know he's listening to your heartbeat. He's always loved cuddling in your chest and feeling your beating heart. Levi starts to bury his face in your breasts, his hands traveling up to your waist.

"Hey," You giggle as Levi grabs your left breast with his large hand. "Levi, this isn't the right time to be-"

"Sh." Levi demanded. His fingers pulled your shirt over your head, revealing your plump breasts. They bounced as they were released from the captivity of your shirt and Levi is mesmerized. He brought his lips to your right tit, sucking on your skin roughly as he squeezed the other. You throw your head back at the contact. Levi has always loved your chest and he likes to take his time there when he can.

"This isn't a part of starting over." You breathe.

"We can start over tomorrow." Levi mumbled as he unclipped your bra without looking. His mouth attached to your nipple, sucking it gently. You feel the wetness in your pants already as Levi sucks, bites, and licks all over your tits.

Levi sits you on the chair, his large hands trailing down your upper body to the buttons of your jeans. He's on his knees now as he pulls your pants off, throwing them across the room. "My favorites." Levi hums at the sight of your black lace panties. "Too bad they're coming off." Levi almost rips the panties off of you, revealing your soaked pussy.

He marvels for a moment, watching your arousal leak from you. You throw your head back as your core starts to throb. "Levi-" He cuts you off by inserting his tongue inside you. You gasp as you feel his tongue exploring your pussy, finding your clit soon after. Levi wraps his hands around your thighs as he devours you, his lips squelching against your core.

Levi wraps his lips around your clit, sucking gently as he inserts two fingers into you. You bury your hands in his hair, pushing his face farther into you. You felt him smile as you pulled on his hair, something he's always loved. He pumped his fingers in and out of you quickly while his mouth was solely focused on your clit.

"I could eat this pussy all day." Levi hummed, the vibration from his words only adding to your pleasure. "This pretty little pussy."

"Levi." You moan, wrapping your legs around him as your toes begin to curl.

"I love when you moan my name." His fingers started to pump faster as your walls began to pulsate. "Can you come on my fingers, princess?"

You nod silently as you feel the high quickly approaching. Your chest feels tight as the world begins to fade away, leaving only you and Levi. His tongue lapped your dripping arousal as you reached your high. Levi doesn't stop though, he keeps sucking on your clit until he wants to be done. You came on his fingers, his mouth - practically his entire face.

"Levi, I need you inside of me." You whine.

"You want my cock inside of you, my princess?"

"God, yes." You nod. Levi's mouth leaves your pussy and he picks you up and lays you on the couch gently. His shirt is off quickly, along with his belt and pants.

You watch his cock spring out of his pants. Every time you see it, you're mesmerized.

"Are you sure?"

"We'll start over tomorrow." You nod a Levi's arms are on either side of you. You feel the tip of his cock at your slit, easily sliding in due to your arousal. Levi lets out a husky moan as he feels your gummy walls wrapping around his cock.

"You were made for me." Levi starts thrusting into you. "This pussy fits me so perfectly."

"Baby, it's all yours." You stare into Levi's eyes. He presses his lips to yours roughly, leaving sloppy kisses as he thrusts inside you faster. You wrap your arms around his neck as he watches his length disappear inside of you, stretching your walls. You'll never get used to his size, no matter how many times you fuck.

"Princess, I need you to come again. Before me." Levi grunted as he slammed into you. He attaches his lips to the side of your neck, biting and sucking until your skin is purple. He then brings his fingers to your clit, rubbing it gently.

You throw your head back, feeling your walls pulsate once again. Levi's thrusts start to become uneven as he feels you grip him, which means he's close.

"I'm not coming before you." Levi rubs circles on your clit. Your toes curl as Levi is almost overstimulating you - but that high comes back.

"Levi." You practically yell as the hardest high of your life hits you. You see stars as Levi slams into you again and again.

"Where should I come?" Levi whispered.

"Inside." You whisper in his ear, which causes him to lose all the control he had left. He coats your insides with him as he comes, gripping your hips tightly. Levi fills you up with his cum and somehow there is still more.

Levi pulled out slowly and you whine at the now void. He pulls his pants on and grabbing a towel from his hallway closet and helping you clean up.

"So... tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." You press your lips to his gently, letting your worries melt away.

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi x reader #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman fanfic #attack on titan #aot #levi ackerman attack on titan

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howboringislife · 8 months

Text

Aot boys' reaction learning you're injured pt.1

With: Levi, Erwin and Reiner

Part 2 here with Armin, Jean and Bertholdt

Warning: mention of injuries, fluffy

Masterlist

Levi

Levi will keep an unbothered and calm façade as he always does but secretly will absolutely PANIC.

Are you okay? Will you survive? How? When? Why? All those questions keep running in his mind as he asks calmy where you are now.

Once in the nursery, will immediately check you up, looking for any important or serious injury. If he sees that you are safe and sound, will let out a subtle sigh of relief.

100% sure that he will hold your hand if you are both alone in the room, only if you are alone. He doesn't show much affection.

"You scared me, brat. Don’t do it again" His voice will be stern but soft as he caresses your cheek. If you apologize, you will be able to see one of the rare smiles he keeps only for you

Will keep an eye on you for the next mission, don’t you dare put your life in danger again, this man will do anything to keep you the safest possible.

Levi will protect you from anything that could be a threat for you.

Understand him please, you are the most important person in the whole fucking world for him and he won't let anything take you away from him. He already lost too much in his life and you are probably the reason why he is still able to keep going.

Erwin

At first the Commander won't say anything, he probably didn't even heard Hange talking, too absorbed by his paperwork.

Is known for keeping a stoic face no matter what people tell him but when the reality that you are in danger will sink in, he will freeze completely.

"Y/N is what?" He will ask, wanting to be sure that he heard well. "No, it can be true." He will deny the fact that you are between life and death.

Will rub his temples to stay calm and collect. Is going also ask to see you even if he's doing something important. Your life=number one priority.

He will put everything on his fault. He shouldn't have sent you on this mission, what was he thinking? 100% will blame himself for your injuries so please, tell him that it's not his fault

This man will try to visit you as much as possible between his paperwork. You can see in his eyes that he's tired, tired of work and worrying for you.

He will be scared to touch you, like if he could break you so easily. "I'm not made of glass, Commander." You will say with a soft smile, teasing him anytime you can. Just seeing you smile will be enough to make his heart secretly melt.

Erwin will keep you safe for the next few months by prohibiting to go on any mission. He's the Commander, he takes the decisions. And honestly, who will blame him for wanting to keep you safe?

Reiner

Will learn the new at the mess hall while eating. He was already a bit nervous as he didn't saw you since you left for the mission. Going to choke on his food for sure.

"What?! Uh- I mean, I'm sure Y/N will be fine." Try to keep a strong facade but inside will be in a total emotional damage.

Reiner will force Bertholdt to come with him as he visits you at the nursery. He's too insecure and scared to go there alone.

When will see you, he will have to bite his lip to contain his emotions, his hands will shake a bit but he's gonna hide it.

The poor boy will be such a loss for words that the only thing he will be able to say is: "Are you okay?" How ironic when half of your body is covered in bandages.

After a few minutes will ask for Bertholdt to leave you two alone (cause it's kinda awkward) and then you will see the REAL Reiner, the one you fell in love with.

He will take your hand in his, pressing his lips against your knuckles. "You scared me so much, I thought I've lost you forever." The tough soldier will become a scared and helpless boy.

You can even see a tear rolling down his cheek before he suddenly hugs you strongly. "Reiner... my ribs..." You say with a muffled voice, wincing a bit in pain but you know he didn't mean to hurt you.

Ps: he will immediately let you down and apologize at least 5 times for hurting you, even if you told him that it was okay 😣

------------

By the way, if you want another character, just request it! (I do only boys)

#levi ackerman #erwin smith #reiner braun #attack on titan #attack on titan x you #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan headcanons #aot #aot x reader #levi ackeman x reader #erwin smith x reader #reiner braun x reader #pt 1

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asmosmainhoe · 4 months

Text

The brothers playing Mario Party

Notes: I am back home and got some fresh and nice headcanons!❤

Gender: neutral

Warnings: heavy language

Lucifer

It takes a looooot of convincing and bribing to get him to play that with you

He has no favorite character. Just press of shuffle and get it over with

After a couple of mini games he becomes slightly competitive. The ones that require a good memory or anything with math or numbers are totally his thing

Whenever he wins those games and you glance over in a stealthy way you can see him shake his fist in victory. Don't let him catch you though otherwise he will be moody and broody throughout the entire game to proof that he in fact does not enjoy it (he does)

At one point he is extremely close to the last star like it's right infront of him, but a computer snatches away, because they threw a higher number. And that's its for him. There is no way he will pick up the game ever again

"This game is an insult and I shall not tolerate such disrespect. Why should I waste my precious time with something that is purely based on luck and no skill at all?"

Then watch him win due to the bonus stars and all of a sudden it was all skill, baby

Mammon

No one stands a chance against him when it comes to the coin mini games and he's also either on first or second place with the others just to get more money

The only problem is that he spends it all on items by the time he reaches a star

"What do ya mean I can't buy it?! Give me the star dammit!"

And then when he actually can buy a star he either switches positions with another character or gets teleported onto the complete other side of the map

I feel like he would choose Waluigi as a character and you give him a weird look for that

"What? He has long arms! I gotta swoop away the money somehow!"

Everytime he wins a mini-game or it's his turn he imitates Waluigi

Leviathan

He's a Mario Party god

You and the brothers have to unite to genuinely have a chance of winning the game and Levi doesn't know how to feel about it. On one hand he's offended that everyone is ganging up on him, but on the other it rubs his ego the right way

But he's the worst when it comes to explaining the controls to the others. Levi is the type to just throw you into it and give you half-explanations during the most heated moments

"How do I jump?"

"With the button!"

"What button?!"

"Don't worry, you died anyways."

"YOU FUCKING ASS WIPE, NEXT TIME ANSWER MY GODDAMN QUESTION-"

If anyone steals Yoshi away from him he will cry

And if you choose Mario he will make fun of you

Satan

It brings out the worst in him. Just leave him alone and nothing will happen to you

Mammon once made the mistake to steal a star from him and Levi had to buy a new controller the same day

The way he gangs up on Lucifer. Even when the first-born isn't on the first or second place he will always choose him to either steal from or play a 1v1 game

"You do realize that you gain nothing by bullying me, right?"

"Wrong. I gain everything I could ever ask for."

He's pretty bad in the mini-games that require a lot of button mashing or evading objects or where you have to stay on a platform for as long as possible

What usually happens with the latter is that he accidently runs off it the moment the game starts

If someone wrongs him once he will make sure that the person does not win no matter what it costs

Daisy is his go-to character honestly. She seems so feisty in his eyes

Asmodeus

He's surprisingly great at the game! His reflexes and precision almost match Levi's in many mini games

But Asmo is always the last one who wants to move on from the training

"Come on, Asmo! It's been forever!"

"Don't stress me!"

The amount of swearing this man does during the game comes to such a surprise for you all. Especially when he's super into a mini game or something like that

Like that one time when Lucifer stole something away from right under Asmo's nose

"You fucking bitch."

The first-born was too stun locked by that otherwise he would have let hellfire rain down on his brother

Asmo immediately fell in love with Peach and Toadette and he takes turn in playing with them depending which Mario Party you guys are playing

Beelzebub

The only one who's here for the fun bonding time with his family. He loves seeing everyone sit together and playing something even if they're all murdering each other over it

Just like Asmo he's doing fairly good with the difference that Beel's luck is unmatched. No one knows how or why, but he somehow always lands on the best spots on the map

When he's the last one standing during team games he gets so stressed out that he becomes like Satan and just walks off the map or something

"You got this, Beel."

No, he doesn't. Why are you making him so nervous?

Someone always has to take over his controller when it comes to button mashing games. There are way too many controllers that got broken by him, because he pressed too hard

He likes playing as Toad or Donkey Kong

Belphegor

Unhinged

One thing about him is that he doesn't play to win. He plays to fuck with everyone. There is no sense or strategy. Only fuckery

Depending on who is on his team during these type of games he will sabotage it on purpose and is all in all backstabbing everyone left and right

He's very dedicated on bullying either Lucifer or Mammon, but Asmo also isn't safe. It's just so funny to hear him screech and curse like a sailor

The bullying is balanced and fair though, but he sometimes does pick out a specific victim like if Levi wins too many rounds then he will decide to make his life miserable for the next couple ones

He chooses Yoshi from time to time to make Levi cry. Other than that he thinks that Birdo looks cool, but he usually goes for villainous looking characters to really bring up the spirit

---

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me brothers #obey me luci #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor

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leviismybby · 18 days

Note

Levi literally shaped my taste in fictional men haha aot was my first anime and levi was my first anime crush and that never changed. I've seen countless animanga but none of the guys there could ever top him. He just set the standard right there when I first saw him. Forever a Levi Ackerman girly

This is so real, anon. I can find other fictional men fine, I have plenty but Levi will always be my number one. He just has zero competition. :))

#levi #levi ackerman #attack on titan #aot levi #anonymous asks

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m-jelly · 2 months

Note

hello!

can i request a fic for levi with a professional latin dancer reader?

The way she moves.

Levi x fem!reader

Modern AU, professional Latin dancer reader, romance, fluff, being a couple.

You've been hired to dance in a romantic music video for a singer. Your wonderful lover comes along with you as support. Levi admires you as he works and makes sure you are well supplied with drink and food. He dotes on you when you rest and showers you with loving words and praise. There are parts of him that get a tiny bit jealous and possessive.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @emilyyyy-08 @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird

Levi held your bag as the famous singer greeted you and gushed over your work. Levi was so proud of you, as a professional Latin dancer, you were incredible to watch, so he wasn't surprised someone very famous was gushing over you. He thought you were the best and knew you loved him and he loved you, but sometimes he got a bit possessive when he saw how much some men fawned over you.

He moved closer to you and slipped his arm around. "Everything okay?"

You smiled and nodded. "All good. Just talking about the aim of the music video."

"Anything I can do?"

You kissed his cheek. "It's all good, my handsome man."

"I'm glad."

You smiled with pride. "This is incredible husband I was talking about. He's my rock. He's supported me through everything. He's a blessing."

The singer smiled. "Your wife talked all about you. She thinks the world of you."

Levi's cheeks burned as his heart raced. While he was getting a bit possessive and jealous that this singer was all over you, you were gushing about him. "I think the world of her. She's incredible."

You hugged Levi's side and kissed his cheek over and over. "Love you so much, my handsome man."

"Love you too."

The crew started moving around a bit faster and put things together. You were whisked away from Levi and put in a glamorous dress. Your hair was done and your makeup perfected. As Levi watched you he felt a little sad that so much make-up was put on you because your natural beauty was stunning, but that was normal for any music videos you did.

He took a seat and watched as met your dance partner, the music started and you moved with such beauty. The music was passionate and about possessive and deep love. Seeing the way you moved was arousing and captivating.

Levi had practised this dance with you countless times to help you get it just right. He loved helping you out and it was fun for him to see you do something you were passionate about. He supported you and was your number one fan, forever and always.

The way your hips moved and your legs flicked made his heart skip. Your body twisted so gracefully to the music. Your body bent and twirled. Your arms flowed along with different poses you moved your body into. It was like watching a love story unfold and at the centre of your heart and story was Levi.

Because Levi knew the dance well, he noticed when it was off and the other dancer was doing more than he should have. Levi felt a bit irritated when the other dancer ran his lips up your neck. He wanted to run over to you, but he knew he had to let you work, no matter how much it annoyed him.

You stopped the dance and talked to the team, you mentioned you felt uncomfortable with the extra moves and kisses. "This is about teasing and pure suggestion."

The director nodded. "She's right. We don't want any neck kisses or touches. We'll go again after retouches."

You hurried over to Levi. "Hey. Sorry, you had to see that. The dancing is intimate enough, but he just..." You sighed. "Anyway, did it look okay so far?"

"Looked amazing." He sat you on his lap and fed you water and a snack. "I love you so much and I'm so proud of you both."

"Thank you."

"Are your feet okay?"

You hummed. "Yeah, ache a bit. Just one last go and I should be good. I'm very good at doing takes."

He squeezed you. "Because you're cute and professional."

You giggled. "Thanks." You rose to your feet. "All right, one lest take. Kiss for luck?"

He kissed you and hummed. "Good luck."

It didn't take long for you to get back out in front of the camera and dance with all the passion in your heart. Levi enjoyed every moment of watching you, you were a dream. As soon as you were finished, you hurried right over to your husband.

Levi dropped his bag and ran over to you. He scooped you up into his arms. "No walking."

You frowned. "Why?"

"Your feet hurt because of the heels they made you wear."

"How did you know?"

He kissed you. "I saw you limping." He sat you down on a comfy seat before kneeling before you. He slipped your heels off and began massaging your feet. "They've rubbed you."

You looked at the marks. "Mm, you're right. It'll be okay though."

"I'll get you a nice hot bath going when we're home."

You cupped his face and pulled him closer. You kissed him and mewled in delight. "I love you."

"I love you always."

#levi #aot levi #levi ackerman #snk levi #levi x you #fanfic #levi x y/n #aot fanfiction #levi fanfiction #levi x reader #levi attack on titan #levi aot #levi x yn #levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #jelly fanfics #levi ackerman x y/n

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the-traveling-poet · 3 months

Note

OH MY GOSH! That modern!au was so beautiful???😭😭 I’m not a sucker for moderns au cause I like to keep things as canon as possible but saying that I loved this would be an understatement. 🤩 Please write a pt 2?? 💕

══════════════════════

Phone Call

══════════════════════

After successfully arriving at the Cast Meet and Greet event a couple hours away from your quaint apartment, you were able to meet your idol at long last.

Though you had been awkward in greeting the man of your dreams, you planned to make up for ‘lost time’. With his phone number tucked securely in your phone’s contact list, you anxiously awaited the right moment to send that first text.

══════════════════════

Pairings: Actor!Levi x Fan!Reader

Warnings: modern!AU, language, fluff

Taglist: @21aurora @deepzombieyouth @braunsbabe

══════════════════════

A/N: thanknyou so much Anon, and also AGREED. I’m not one for modern!AU aot fics, but the request kinda struck me and I thought ‘why not?’ And I’m content with how it turned out?? So I’m happy to do a follow up :3

I’m so sorry it took me forever!

Hope you enjoy pt. 2!

══════════════════════

Part 1 | Part 3

══════════════════════

That hour had passed you by surprisingly quickly, with how often you’d space out staring over the crowd of fans to fantasize your interaction with Levi Ackerman all over once more in your hazy mind.

Just what had happened? Your babbling and jumbled words, earning you a receipt of his own personal number??

The more you thought about it, you figured this had to be some grueling joke. It had to, right? This never happened outside of fiction. Perhaps he had given you a public number of his, and if you texted it you might just end up embarrassing yourself.

But the look he’d had in his eyes when he glanced up at you before signing those ten numbers under his signature onto the very paper he held…surely he wasn’t one for cruel practical jokes, right?

Tucking the paper away for now, you brought yourself back to the present as the interview began.

For the entirety of the event, you couldn’t keep the giddy grin from your face as your favorite actors and actresses posed as their beloved characters to answer popular questions across many social media platforms. They would quote the author’s original scrip for accurate answers, as well as adding their own personal takes on the topics as the character’s roles.

How could this event have been any more enthralling; you had thought, just before managing to meet the gaze of Levi from the back of the room. Your breath stuck in your throat once more as you quickly diverted your stare.

But upon hearing the man start to speak into his small microphone to answer some questions on a cue card he held, your gaze snapped back up in an instant to find him. You could listen to his voice all day and never tire of how husky and yet smooth he sounded. While the questions were indeed interesting, and provoked curiosity within every fan present, you found it hard to focus on the words.

You punched your thigh to make yourself concentrate less on the paper held securely in your hand, and more on the event you’d paid a good amount to come see.

The hours ticked by all too quickly, as much as you were anxious to get a chance to text Levi’s number. But finally the moment arrived when the cast all took a stand and thanked the audience for showing up.

Shaking hands grabbed at your belongings as you stood to clap alongside the hundred or so fans. The room was slow to clear, prohibiting you from leaving through the double doors just yet.

Realizing you’d be stuck in the exit line for some time, you let your anticipation get the better of you and pulled out your phone. You hesitated when the contact screen popped up, wondering just what you would say, should this in fact not have been a joke.

“Fuck it,” You whispered, hitting send.

Hey, Mr. Ackerman, this is Y/N from earlier. Loved getting to meet you today!

With a shaky sigh you pocketed your phone, fighting with your bag as you scanned the dispersing crowd. Your eyes naturally drifted back towards the interview table, watching the cast clear their things and be led back through a single door liking the back wall.

Surprisingly, Levi hadn’t departed yet. He stood beside two guards, arms folded and leaning casually against the table as they chatted.

You’d nearly looked away when his posture straightened. He pulled a thin black phone from his back pocket and unlocked it. You nearly lost your breath when he seemed to be reading the screen closely as his nimble thumbs ran across the lower half of the screen.

Daring to hope, you ducked down in the crowd slightly and checked the message you’d sent. And there at the bottom of the screen appeared a bubble icon.

Biting your lip, you were slightly saddened to see the line moving along. But now, you had a bit of a bounce to your step as you left the building and re-emerged back in the extensive parking lot.

You had to remind yourself to look away from your phone screen and watch for passing cars as you passed the walkway. Hastily unlocking your car, you slid inside and locked the door after you and picked up your phone.

I’m glad you enjoyed the event. But please, just Levi is fine. Seems you were anxious to test the validity of this number?

Who knows how long you sat there, shaking in your seat as your thumbs flew across the screen to form a response. But after some time discussing the event, Levi brought up the situation in which you hadn’t been able to say all you had wanted; what with the time limit per fan and your awkward stumbling.

With a burning face and shaking fingers you replied ‘yes’ to his suggestion for a quick call, as he had nothing left on his schedule after the interview, at least for a few hours.

You drove off with a tight grin, awkwardly taking the call once it rang. It was slow to begin with, you trying to be formal and Levi trying to convince you to just be yourself.

An hour into the drive home, you’d hardly recognized just how easy it had been to open up and ask the things you really wanted to know. He answered every question you had, to the best of your ability.

He never once sounded annoyed, nor distracted as the call progressed. In fact, he started asking you simple questions of his own.

Are you from around here?

No? Where at, then?

How damn long did you drive to get here?

When did you get into the show?

Why was my character your favorite? He’s kinda a dick.

All too soon you’d pulled into the lot outside your apartment, and bade him a hesitant goodbye. You’d have continued the call, if it hadn’t already been two hours of conversation and he had a shoot he had to attend for the company.

Offhandedly, he mentioned thinking on letting you have the first look how the photos would come out before he hung up, leaving you with an explosive feeling of butterflies in your gut.

Climbing the straits towards your room, you unlocked the door and flipped onto the couch with a barely contained scream.

You were living a reality you hardly thought feasible, how could you not be over the moon?

Just when you’d thrown your phone to the side some time later to grave dinner, your phone buzzed one last time.

*Attachment : 4 images.*

Never thought I’d give my number to a fan. Coffee at Highland Cafè around 2 o’clock next week? That’s closer to you.

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tatakaeeren · 6 months

Text

Levi Ackerman in every 進撃の巨人 Episode

....Thank you Isayama for giving us this man ❤️

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jgthirlwell · 4 months

Text

2023 Year In Review

This year once again I invited some friends and colleagues to reflect on 2023

JG Thirlwell Composer Foetus Xordox Manorexia Steroid Maximus Venture Bros Archer

2023 was an intense year. The year began with the premiere of my symphony for Alarm Will Sound and ended with guesting vocalizing with Dinosaur Jr on some Stooges classics. I completed the final season of Archer. Wrote a lot of material for new Xordox and Foetus albums. Released an album of string quartets and scored a Venture Bros movie. Worked with some great singers and premiered my Ensemble project in London. I spent several months traveling and set up a small studio in Melbourne for a bit. Road tripped through NZ with my partner, Dora. I played some excellent shows in London, Colchester, Auckland, Wellington, Melbourne and Sydney. I still woke up 5am in a panic on too many occasions. And I saw some great concerts.It was difficult to whittle down this list but here are a lot of albums I enjoyed in 2023, in no particular order.

Albums

Poil Ueda Yoshitsune (Dur et Doux) Poil Ueda - Poil Ueda (Dur et Doux) Genevieve Artadi Forever Forever (Brainfeeder) Knower - Knower Forever (Brainfeeder) Ultraphauna No No No No (Dur Et Doux) Gahlmm Break A Leg (GEIGER Grammofon) Oneohtrix Point Never Again (Warp) Lankum - False Lankum (Rough Trade) Evian Christ Revanchist (Warp) Chromb Cinq (Dur et Doux) Deskartes A Kant After Destruction (Cleopatra) Gazelle Twin Then You Run (Original Score) L’Rain I Killed Your Dog (Mexican Summer) Loraine James Gentle Confrontation (Hyperdub) Royal Blood Back To The Water Below (Warner) John Luther Adams Darkness and Scattered Light (Cold Blue) Catherine Christer Hennix Solo for Tamburium (Blank Forms) Rachel Fannan Bjork Impersonations (Instagram) Regal Worm Worm! (Quatermass) Wild Up Julius Eastman Vol. 3: If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Rich? (New Amsterdam) PJ Harvey I Inside the Old Year Dying (Partisan) Poppy I Disagree (Sumerian) Sparks The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte (Island) Queens Of The Stone Age In Times New Roman (Matador) Time Wharp Spiro World (Leaving) Murderpact Ultraheaven (Bandcamp) RVG Brain Worms (Our Golden Friend) HMLTD - The Worm (Lucky Number) Catarina Barbieri - Myuthafoo (Editions Mego) Ligeti Quartet and Anna Meredith - NUC (Mercury KX) Mandy Indiana I’ve Seen a Way + EP(FireTalk) Kate NV WOW (RVNG) Kelly Moran Vesela EP (Warp) Kurws Powiez / Fascia (Korobushka) Fever Ray Radical Romantics (Mute) Netherlands Severance (Svart) Tim Hecker No Highs (Kranky) Bohemian Flesh Bohemian Flesh (Ojet) Pure Adult II (FatCat) Model/Actriz - Dogsbody (True Panther Sounds) Laurel Halo - Atlas (Awe) Water From Your Eyes - Everyones Crushed (Matador) Moritz Von Oswald - Silencio (tresor) REZZETT Meant Like This (Trilogy Tapes) Jess Johnson and Simon Ward 'Terminus' Virtual Reality exhibition at the Museum in Dunedin NZ.

Books

Naomi Klein Doppelganger Graham Rayman and Reuven Blau Rikers : An Oral History Thurston Moore Sonic Life Malcolm Gladwell The Bomber Mafia Tony Cohen Half Deaf, Completely Mad Brett Anderson Coal Black Morning Book Wesley Doyle Conform To Deform Primo Levi Survival in Auschwitz

Films + TV

Beef Barry Fargo The YouTube Effect Mutiny In Heaven Beau Is Afraid In The Court Of The Crimson King Oppenheimer

Concerts

01.28.23 Kodak Quartet performed at the Jack Studio Festival Event at The New School, performing a work by Khyam Allami and a stunning rendition of Ligeti’s String Quartet No 1. 02.21.23 Pure Adult opened for Gilla Band at Brooklyn Made and both were excellent! 02.22.23 Clown Core (featuring Louis Cole on drums and keys) Elsewhere in NYC. 03.02.23 Laurie Anderson performs at a drone event anchored by Lou’s guitar generating feedback drones, on the occasion of Lou Reed’s birthday .Other musicians joining the drone included Shazad Ismailey, Steven Bernstein, Stan Harrison, Briggan Krauss and more. 03.09.23 Michael Byron’s new work In One Second There Will Be A Thousand Plateaus Perhaps for two pianos and small orchestra featuring pianists Joseph Kubera and Steve Beck with Petr Kotik conducting members of the S.E.M. Ensemble. At Roulette Intermedium. 04.04.23 Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs brought the rock power and played an intense and triumphant show at Mercury Lounge to end their first US tour. 04.08.23 Amarcord Nino Rota, a reimagining of the Hal Willner’s Nino Rota tribute album, at Roulette Intermedium. 05.03.23 Genevieve Artadi played a grreat set at Public Records in Brooklyn to support her new album Forever Forever, with Louis Cole on drums. 05.27.23 Gloryhammer at Irving Plaza. Saw them in Melbourne too. 06.27.23 Sparks played a brilliant show at the Beacon Theater in NYC and I also caught them at Palais Theater in St Kilda, Melbourne, Australia on 10.26.23 07.04.23 75 Dollar Bill at Union Pool 08.20.23 BeatFox . Incredible luck to see this guy busking on Brick Lane. 08.21.23 The very wonderful Deerhoof at The Lafayette in London 08.22.23 clipping. played a killer show at Outernet in London 08.23.23 The incredible Poil Ueda from Lyon, France played in London at the Lexington + Lost Crowns 08.24.23 Swans played an epic set at The Troxy in Londo 09.24.23 TENGGER played an amazing set at the Art Gallery of NSW. 10.06.23 Fuji|||||||||||ta at Tempo Rubato in Melbourne, Australia. 10.07.23 RVG played a killer show to a packed house at Northcote Theatre in Melbourne, Australia 10.17.23 Chloe Sobek at Make It Up Club in Melbourne Australia. 10.21.23 Paul McCartney at Marvel Stadium in Melbourne Australia 10.28.23 Sarah Mary Chadwick at Wesley Anns as part of The 86 Super Saturday Festival 10.28.23 Party Dozen from Sydney played a great set at The 86 Super Saturday Festival in Melbourne Australia. 11.10.23 Devon Townsend played a beautiful, brutal and ecsatic show in Melbourne Australia at the Forum. 12.06.23 Ashley Bathgate and percussion sextet Mantra Percussion performed Matt McBane’s Topography at National Sawdust in NYC.

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Michel Langevin (aka Away/Voïvod)

My coups de coeur in 2023: TV Series: The Last of Us Music: The Damned - Darkadelic Godflesh - Purge Crown Lands - Fearless Gong - Unending Ascending Soft Machine - Other Doors Best show: KISS End of the Road World Tour in Montréal on Nov 18th Best Moments: -Recording and touring the new Voïvod album, Morgöth Tales, celebrating the 40th anniversary of the band -Celebrating my 60th birthday on stage in Lyon on the Voïvod/Testament Euro tour -Jason Newsted joining the band on stage in Fort Lauderdale, USA -Eric Forrest joining the band on stage at Hellfest, France

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Lydia Lunch

https://www.lydia-lunch.net/

“Time-one long second that goes on forever” So enjoy it motherfuckers!

BOOKS

Love the World or Get Killed Trying Alvina Chamberland Mother Howl Craig Clevenger Nein, Nein, Nein! : One Man's Tale of Depression, Psychic Torment, and a Bus Tour of the Holocaust Jerry Stahl Mystic Debris Justin Gradin Niagara, NY Ric Royers The Pale-Faced Lie : A True Story David Crow The Conspiracy Against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror Thomas Ligotti The Field: The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe Lynne McTaggert Yuval Noah Harari Box Set (Sapiens, Homo Deus, 21 Lessons for 21st Century) Season of the Witch Cathi Unsworth Every word John Tottenham utters or writes

TOURS with Sylvia Black & Gregg Foreman, Joseph Keckler, Marc Hurtado (tribute to Alan Vega & Suicide), Ian White, Kevin Shea (Sinister Impulse), Tim Dahl & Matt Nelson (Murderous Again)

Workshop & Performance Badass Babes of Burlesque w Rita D’Albert Zebulon LA

Workshop at the University of New Mexico thanks to Greg Moss

Reading with Zoe Hansen & Ron Athey at The Philosophical Research Center LA Reading with Eugene Robinson Makeout Room SF

Finishing the documentary with Jasmine Hirst Artists - Depression, Anxiety, and Rage and premiering it in Italy

Meeting butuh Queen Azumi OE and discussing up coming performances together with Tim Dahl

Completing the 233 episode of The Lydian Spin with Tim Dahl

FUN

Nights in London & Brighton spent with Nick Soulsby, Cathi Unsworth, Billy Chainsaw, Chris Bohn, Jack Sargeant, Pam Hogg,

Tina Kit (opened for my Suicide tribute in London & Brighton) best new band of suited and booted bad boys

Squired around Europe by Sebastien Greppo, a man like no other - who so lightens my burden…

Watching every episode of The Dark Side of The Ring with Kevin Shea

Training squirrels, levitating objects, saving lives, screaming into the void.

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Mike Berdan

(Uniform) https://uniform-nyc.com/

ALBUMS

Lankum - False Lankum

Surgeon - Crash Recoil

Ryuichi Sakamoto - 12

Fellwinter - The Dawn Of Winter

Abysmal Lord - Bestiary Of Immortal Hunger

Death Kneel - Dawn Simulation

Shit And Shine - 2222 And Airport

Carnivorous Bells - Room Above All

Agonal Lust - Mankind Is A Talisman Of Misfortune

Godflesh - Purge

FIRST-TIME READS

A History Of Violence (1973) - David Cotner

Someone Who Isn't Me - Geoff Rickly

Your Dreams - Thomas Moore 4. In A Lonely Place - Karl Edward Wagner

Burn You The Fuck Alive - B.R. Yeager

The Holy Day - Christopher Norris

A Collapse Of Horses - Brian Evenson

The Devil Thinks I'm Pretty - Charlene Elsby

Let's Go Play At The Adams' - Mendal W. Johnson

Counterillumination - Audrey Szasz

MOVIES

Godzilla Minus One

CIGARS

Cohiba Magico Maduro Petit Robusto

God Of Fire Serie B Double Robusto

Padron Family Reserve no. 95 Maduro Petit Gordo

El Pulpo Toro

Tatuaje Reserva J21 Broadleaf Robusto

Atabey Benditos Double Corona

Romeo y Julieta Línea de Oro Nobles

H. Upmann Half Corona

Foundation Cigars The Tabernacle Robusto

OpusX Eye Of The Shark

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Mario Diaz deLeon (composer, Luminous Vault, Bloodmist)

ALBUMS Evita Manji - Spandrel? Eartheater - Powders Slowspin - Talisman Marta DePascalis - Sky Flesh Kalia Vandever - We Fell in Turn Eraldo Bernocchi + Hoshiko Yamane - Sabi JakoJako - Verve Surgeon - Crash Recoil Cavalera - Morbid Visions / Bestial Devastation Bell Witch - The Clandestine Gate Steve Lehman + Orchestre National de Jazz - Ex Machina

SONGS Kelly Moran - Vesela Vines - I Don’t Mind Cybotron - Maintain Barker - Birmingham Screwdriver VMO - Supergaze Omar Hisham - Adhan (Be Heaven)

EVENTS New Firmament: MONAD - Roulette Peter Evans: Being and Becoming - Roulette Anna Sperber: Amplifier - Roulette 20 Years of Shinkoyo - Roulette Anthony Braxton + Wolf Eyes - Pioneer Works Caterina Barbieri - Pioneer Works Felipe Lara + Claire Chase + Esperanza Spaulding + NY Phil TAK Ensemble: Swoonfest - The Clemente Center Kayo Dot: Choirs of The Eye - MilkBoy Cecilia Vicuña / Raven Chacon - The Poetry Project Krallice / Indocrithere / Geryon / Ocrilim - Saint Vitus Cavalera: Morbid Devastation - Irving Plaza Hulder / Blackbraid / Aeviterne - Le Poisson Rouge Eartheater / Concrete Husband - Elsewhere

BOOKS Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz - An Indigenous Peoples History of the United States

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Alexander Tucker (Microcorps)

I started off the year by releasing a project very close to my heart: Fifth Continent, a collaboration with the late Keith Collins, partner and collaborator of film maker and artist Derek Jarman. The album was partially recorded in Jarman’s cottage in the desert-like landscape of Dungeness, on the South East coastline of Kent, in the UK, with elements constructed from Collins own spoken word pieces, and environmental recordings. The album was released on James Ginzberg’s Subtext label, and we also produced Fifth Quarter, an anthology publication of writing, recollections, photography and newly commissioned artworks about Jarman, Collins and Dungeness.

Although I probably made more music than usual this year, and had a greater focus than ever on the various projects I have underway, 2023 felt like a weird and often frustrating year for me and music. About five years ago I set about teaching myself modular systems, experimenting, and recording the results as I went along. This culminated in a new solo guise primarily for electronics and the synthesis of voice and acoustic instruments, MICROCORPS (the debut album Xmit came out on Alter records in 2021). Using these systems is at the same time liberating and incredibly frustrating. For a while this year nothing felt good enough: I could feel the potential of my ideas glimmering in the distance but was unable to catch up with them. I decided to take a short break from the modular, and focused upon compositions for cello, saxophone, and clarinet. But the pull of electronics is never far, so I began processing these recordings, using granular synthesis to stretch, mutate and reorganise the audio into new pieces. As soon as you want more from your practice and yourself, things can become more laborious - it’s difficult to be in the moment and focus on what’s in front of you. I used to be happy with the immediate effects I produced, but I think this is being replaced by a different approach, something more considered, which is exciting and, in some ways, sobering - even if the results are far from what you would describe as sober. I’m also so lucky to have many friends and fellow artists around me to offer help and suggestions, to whom I’m eternally grateful. As R.Crumb says, “Keep on truckin”.

Music I dug this year: Godflesh - Purge (Avalanche Recordings) Rắn Cạp Đuôi - *1 (nhạc_gay) Mun Sing - Inflatable Gravestone (Planet Mu) RS Tangent - When A Worm Wears A Wig (The Trilogy Tapes) Arnold Dreybaltt And The Orchestra Of Excited Strings - Resolve (Drag City) Elvin Brandhi and Lord Spikeheart - Drunken Love (Hakuna Kulala) Mark Fell and Will Guthrie - Infoldings / Diffractions (NAKID) Afrorack - The Afrorack (Hakuna Kulala) Kinn - Dogtooth (First Light Records) General Magic - Nein Aber Ja (GoTo Records)

Live shows: Emptyset - Village Underground Elvin Brandhi - IKLECTIK Mick Harris/FRET – Downwards’ 30th, Centrala Mun Sing, Crys Cole, Penelope Trappes - Boundaries Festival Maxwell Sterling - Cafe OTO Pole - EartH Nik Colk Void - Too many to count! Phew - Cafe OTO Residency Acid Horse Festival Devo - Hammersmith Apollo Kinn - New Cross Road Baptist Church

Comics: In 2023 I produced a new issue of my ongoing oblique and nonlinear comic series, Entity Reunion. For this issue I drew upon my love of HP Lovecraft, using the repetition of the comic format to peel back layers of the everyday to reveal omnipotent entities underlying all reality. The viewpoint of each page is from the point of view of the protagonists, who hold an electronic device, photographing their surroundings only to capture the blurred features of some insidious face. There are also references to Lovecraft’s own fictional grimoire the Necrononmicon. I wanted that dreamlike sensation of being the protagonists of the dream but also viewing yourself as separate entity.

Books: I read nearly all of Patrica Highsmith’s ‘Ripley’ books, a bunch of John Le Carré novels, Mark Kermode’s book on The Exorcist and I’m currently working my way through the spy novelist Eric Ambler’s books. I also re-read Bruce Robinson’s analysis on Jack the Ripper and Victorian society, ‘They All Love Jack’.

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Tom Chiu (composer, Flux Quartet)

2 0 2 3 IN REVIEW

Albums Worth Exploring (including a couple entries from 2022 that I discovered late)

Bar Italia Tracey Denim (Matador)

Blur Ballad Of Darren (Parlophone)

Bush Tetras They Live In My Head (Wharf Cat)

Death Valley Girls Islands In The Sky (Suicide Squeeze)

Dummy Mono Retriever (Sub Pop)

Duster Remote Echoes (Numero Group)

En Attendant Ana Principia (Trouble In Mind)

Everything But the Girl Fuse (Verve)

Horse Lords Comradely Objects (RVNG)

Kelela Raven (Warp)

Lael Neale Star Eaters Delight (Sub Pop)

Lana Del Rey Do You Know That There's A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd (Interscope)

Lewsberg Out And About (12XU)

Munya Jardin (Luminelle)

Slowdive Everything Is Alive (Dead Oceans)

Sweeping Promises Good Living Is Coming For You (Sub Pop)

Wednesday Rat Saw God (Dead Oceans)

Yo La Tengo This Stupid World (Matador)

Night at the Movies

Poor Things Past Lives Monster

Recurring Personal FAVES

FAVE Sandwich: Mekelburg's Clinton Hill, Brooklyn

FAVE Burger: Two8Two Bar & Burger, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn

FAVE Craft Beer Brewery Omnipollo (Sweden), brewed at Twelve Percent Beer Project, North Haven, CT

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Pierre Cerrato

Producer - Editor Floyd County Productions (Archer)

Favorite Movies/TV Archer Season 14 The Last of Us Gen V Beef This Fool Season 2 Fargo Season 5 Primo (Amazon Prime Show) The Bear Season 2 Episode Barry Season 4

Favorite Records I listened to a lot of music but these were in constant rotation. Some are from last year but what is time and who cares?

Boris/Uniform - Bright New Disease (2023) Birds in Row - Gris Klein (2022) Fleshwater - We Are Not Here to Be Loved (2022) Asunojokei - Islands (2022) Everything But the Girl - Fuse (2023) Night Owls - Versions (2022)

Honorable mention Boris - Feedbacker (2003) this was my introduction to Boris. This year is the 20 year anniversary of its release. Roberto Carlos Lange shared it with me one day while at work. He said it was something he thought I would like. Blew my mind and I have been a fan ever since.

Favorite Concerts The Cure - State Farm Arena - also saw The Cure at Riot Fest but this was better of the 2. I regret not going to Night 2 in Atlanta because they played Disintegration. H20 - Riot Fest 2023 Set Fleshwater - Riot Fest 2023 Set Future Islands - Shakey Knees 2023 Set The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Shakey Knees 2023 Set Converge / Brutus - The Masquerade Drain / Drug Church - The Masquerade Donny Benet - Terminal West Idles - Re:Set 2023 Set

Favorite Food

MF Sushi - Atlanta - went twice and each time it was a special occasion. Heirloom Market BBQ - Atlanta - best BBQ in my neck of the woods. The Aviary - Chicago - specialty cocktails with spectacular presentation. Cafe Tola - Chicago - best empanadas i've ever had in my life. Selva Negra - Miami - a solid contender for Nica food. Jaguar - Miami - great vibes, service and ceviche! No Hard Feelings - Chatanooga - great cocktails and vibes!

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Zachary Lipez

(editor at large of Creem Magazine, writer, singer of Publicist UK)

Music I made a (very) long list on my wildly popular blog, Abundant Living. But, for kicks and with the understanding that maybe you don’t feel like reading (or subscribing to) my wildly popular blog, here’s some stuff I included and some stuff I forgot (with particular attention paid to albums I think might be of particular interest to JG friends/fans but which may have slipped through the radar) (meaning: I mainly put the stuff that wasn’t on too many other lists). Fatboi Sharif Decay (Backwoodz) Skech185 He Left Nothing for the Swim Back (Backwoodz) Zohra Murder In The Temple (American Dreams) The Native Cats The Way On Is The Way Off (Chapel) Geese 3D Country (Partisan) Gold Dime No More Blue Skies (No-Gold) Algiers Shook (Matador) EXEK The Map and the Territory (Foreign) Skinhead Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt (Closed Casket) Débruit & Alsarah Aljawal الجوال (Soundway) Fairytale Shooting Star (Toxic State) Among The Rocks and Roots Pariah (Cacophonous Revival) Full of Hell, Nothing When No Birds Sang (Closed Casket) Uniform & Boris Bright New Disease (Sacred Bones) Sleaford Mods UK Grim (Rough Trade) Money&King Act Unnaturally (self released) Blu Anxxiety Morbid Now, Morbid Later (Toxic State) Nana Benz du Togo AGO (Komos) Citric Dummies Zen and the Arcade of Beating Your Ass (Feel It) Ghösh Prismassive (Ramp Local) Peasdez Fenomenologia Del Espiritu Agonico: De La Existencia Sordida Al Pendulo De La Nada (SPHC) Upper Wilds Jupiter (Thrill Jockey) Death Valley Girls Islands In The Sky (Suicide Squeeze) Raphael Rogiński Talán Body Void Atrocity Machine (Prosthetic) Feeling Figures Migration Magic (Perennial) Ryan Davis & the Roadhouse Band Dancing on the Edge (Sophomore Lounge) Nosaj from New Kingdom & steel tipped dove House of Disorder (Fused Arrow Records) mclusky unpopular parts of a pig / the digger you deep (self released) Advertisement Escorts (Feel It) King Vision Ultra Shook World (hosted by Algiers) (PTP)

Live Shows that Stand Out In My Memory Moor Mother/Armand Hammer/The Caretaker/Raphael Roginski for the Unsound Fest at Lincoln Center (I covered this for The Quietus if yr interested) Sleaford Mods at Coachella (profiled them for CREEM) Lydia Lunch/Zohra at St.Vitus Lydia Lunch Retrovirus last American show ever (?) at TV Eye Various skinhead/nü oï bands at the Monarch/TV Eye etc. with Liberty & Justice being the standout Son Rompe Pera at TV Eye Chisel (the Ted Leo outfit, not the neo-bootboy band with the “the” in their name) at LPR

BOOKS My phone has pretty much eliminated my ability to read. I did read the first 100 pages of more books than I care to admit. I finally finished Mark Andrews’ Paint My Name In Black and Gold: The Rise of the Sisters of Mercy and I recommend it if, like me, you think The Sisters of Mercy are better than the Beatles (or whatever inane comparison annoys your friends the most). I also discovered Gene Wolfe and read the first book in the Book of the New Sun trilogy. Otherwise, it’s pretty much been just using Louise Glück poetry as inspiration to write terrible versions of Louise Glück poetry.

TV Doom Patrol Pokerface Rick and Morty (idc idc idc idc) HasanAbi twitch stream A ludicrous amount of Britbox mysteries and—passively, yes, but not without a fair amount of emotional investment—various Real Housewife shows/spinoffs

Movies Didn’t watch any new movies this year but I did have a lot of youtube videos playing in the background while I did other things, and sometimes those videos would be three hour long screeds about what was wrong with a number of movies I’d never heard of. So I feel like I got the gist.

LIFE Converted to Islam and married Zohra in January. Both choices have proven to be rewarding as all hell. Cashing in my “as a Jew I…” argument card—while simultaneously being too new a Muslim to reasonably claim either special knowledge and/or marginalization status—has really fucked with my ability to be self-righteous online. But the love that Zohra and her family have shown me has more than made up for my newfound inability to really wipe the floor with a motherfucker in the instagram comments. In fact, I liked marrying Zohra so much that I did it again in December (first time was a religious ceremony, the second time was our rendering to Caesar etc). If you know me/us and weren’t invited to either that’s because essentially no one was. As my parents couldn’t attend (on account of being dead) I didn’t really see the point of a big party. That was perhaps selfish. We love you (probably) and will have some sort of to-do in 2024.

Otherwise, I am still very much enjoying working for the new CREEM Magazine (please subscribe) and doing my newsletter (please subscribe). Musically, I lived vicariously through Zohra and the release of her first solo album. Murder In The Temple, with amazing production by Ben Greenberg and contributions by Lydia Lunch, is a synthesis of so many of Zohra’s obsessions. It’s unlike anything in the post-goth-dark-whatever sphere and I can’t express how proud I am of it and her. As for my music, I did some neat-o Scientists-esque stuff with Telematics (Sohrab Habibion, Robert Austin, and Alexis Fleisig) and Zohra and I did a Sheer Terror cover in the style of Tindersticks to commemorate Paul Bearer’s marriage. Also, I’m pretty sure my most successful band (Publicist UK) got dropped by our label (apparently taking eight years to finish a demo is a long time) so get at me if you have a low-to-mid tier label and want to put out an album of eight minute gothic metal songs with zero mosh parts, about an aging hipster loving his wife and cats and missing his dead mom and dad. C’mon, do it. You’d be printing money.

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Jim Siegel

Vivid Oblivion

Records And Other Things I Liked In 2023

Lankum - False Lankum (Rough Trade)

Milford Graves with Arthur Doyle and Hugh Glover - Children Of The Forest (Black Editions Archive)

Nakibembe Embaire Group (Nyege Nyege Tapes)

Henning Christiansen - Mediterranean Music-Water (Holidays)

Alain Goraguer - La Planete Sauvage (Expanded) (Decca)

Phill Niblock - Boston III (Alga Marghen)

Sam McLoughlin & David Chatton Barker - The Heavenly Realms (Folklore Tapes)

Svitlana Nianio & Tom James Scott - Eye Of The Sea (Skire)

Half Mortal - Creature Of Christ (Hospital Productions)

Pharoah Sanders - Pharoah box (Luaka Bop)

Ragnar Johnson & Jessica Mayer - Spirit Cry Flutes And Bamboo Jews Harps From Papua New Guinea (Ideologic Organ)

PJ Harvey - I Inside The Old Year Dying (Partisan)

Jana Winderen - The Blue Beyond (Touch)

Rezzett - Meant Like This (The Trilogy Tapes)

Arsenije Jovanovic - Sailboat Galiola Nuria's Unfinished Logbook (Pentiments)

Only Voices Vol. 1 + 2 (DDS)

Wounded Son - Pain Is All I Have For You (Hospital Productions)

Various - Cease & Resist: Sonic Subversion & Anarcho Punk In The UK 1979-1986 (Optimo Music)

Umeko Ando - Upopo Sanke (Pingipung)

Philip Jeck & Chris Watson - Oxmardyke (Touch)

Lori Vambe - Space-Time Dreamtime: The Four Dimensional Music Of Lori Vambe (Strut)

Mozart Estate - Pop-Up! Ker-Ching! And The Possibilities Of Modern Shopping (West Midlands)

Sandwell District - Feed Forward box (The Point Of Departure)

Japan Blues - Japan Blues Meets The Dengie Hundred (DDS)

Various - A Web Of Braided Willow - The Folklore Of The Wickerman (Folklore Tapes)

Surgeon - Crash Recoil (Tresor)

Mark Glynne And Bart Zwier - Home Comfort (La Scie Doree)

Ariel Kalma - French Archives Vol. III 1964-89 (Black Sweat)

Marginal Consort - 06 06 16 (St Elisabeth Kirche, Berlin) (901 Editions)

Brendan Perry - Eye Of The Hunter / Live At The I.C.A (4AD)

The Complete Obscure Records Collection box (Dialogo)

Various - Avant Garde 21xCD Box (Deutsche Grammophon)

Bill Nace Live at Public Records, December 2023

The Elephant 6 Recording Co. Documentary

Squaring The Circle - The Story Of Hipgnosis

Shame And Dignity with Stanley Schtinter and Sukhdev Sandhu at UnionDocs, NY November 2023

Godland, dir. Hlynur Palmason

Wawa Pretzel w/ Melted Cheese (Sandwich)

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Simon Karis

(CEO of Nice Music, recording artist)

Okay so fave releases of 2023

Absurd Cosmos Late Nite 'These Magic Clothes Don't Play Themselves' (Reseach Laboratories) Actress 'LXXXVIII' (Ninja Tune) Armand Hammer 'We Buy Diabetic Test Strips' (Fat Possum) Danny Brown 'Quaranta' (Warp) De-Bons-En-Pierre 'Card Short Of A Full Deck' (Dark Entries) Evian Christ 'Revanchist' (Warp) Eyes Of The Amaryllis 'Perceptible To Everyone' (Horn Of Plenty) Francis Plagne 'Into Closed Air' (Bison) Francis Plagne 'Udge' (Horn Of Plenty) Giuseppe Ielasi 'Down On Darkened Meetings' (Black Truffle) HHOST 'Windswept Italics' (Altered States Tapes) HHOST 'Veil' (Snail Editions) JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown 'Scaring The Hoes' (no label) Kassell Jaeger 'Shifted In Dreams' (Shelter Press) Khanate 'To Be Cruel' (Sacred Bones) Klein 'Doubt'/'Normani's Torment'/'STORM' (no label) L'Rain 'I Killed Your Dog' (Mexican Summer) Land's Air 'Land's Air' (Tone List) Locust 'The First Cause' (Mysteries Of The Deep) Low Flung 'The Wheel' (Snail Editions) Matt Harkin 'The Door Knocker' (no label) Nick Ashwood 'Inside The Body Of A Wave' (no label) Nuno Loureiro 'Lua Onus' (Super Pang) Patten 'Mirage FM' (555-5555) Pissed Jeans 'No Convenient Apocalypse' (Sub Pop) Princess Nokia 'I Love You But This Is Goodbye' (Arista) Red Wine & Sugar 'Turkish Coffee & Twice Baked Potatoes' (Chocolate Monk) Rezzett 'Meant Like This' (The Trilogy Tapes) Richard Youngs 'Modern Sorrow' (Black Truffle) Rory J S 'P' (no label) Rrose 'Please Touch' (Eaux) Solo Andata 'Slip Casting' (12k) WPH 'III' (no label) 100 Gecs '10,000 Gecs' (Dog Show/Atlantic)

fave back catalogue listens that made sense in 2023 Armand Hammer & The Alchemist 'Haram' (Backwoodz Studioz) Beherit 'H418ov21.C' (Spinefarm) Bernard Parmegiani 'De Natura Sonorum' (INA-GRM) Bowery Electric 'Beat' (Kranky) Charalambides 'Exile' (Kranky) Def Leppard 'Hysteria' (Mercury) Elastica 'Elastica' (Deceptive/Geffen) Elucid 'I Told Bessie' (Backwoodz Studioz) Emptyset 'Demiurge' (Subtext) Emptyset 'Recur' (Raster-Noton) Hematic Sunsets 'Musik Aus Dem Aroma Club' (Klang Der Festung) Joey Beltram 'Classics' (R&S) Ka 'Languish Arts' (Iron Works) Kim Cascone 'Cathodeflower' (Ritornell) The Kinks 'Lola Vs Powerman And The Moneygoround Part One' (Reprise/Pye) Kreator 'Terrible Certainty' (Noise International) Lol Coxhill & Morgan Fisher 'Slow Music' (Pipe/Aguirre) Low 'Hey What' (Sub Pop) Marsfield 'The Towering Sky' (Faraway Press) Massive Attack 'Mezzanine' (Virgin) Matt Harkin 'Sanctuary 1, 2015-2016' (Hobbies Galore) Maurizio Bianchi 'Endometrio' (no label/Dais) Moodymann 'Mahogany Brown' (Peacefrog) Moor Mother & billy woods 'Brass' (Backwoodz Studioz) Nearly God 'Nearly God' (4th & Broadway) Nightcrawlers '2031 AD' (no label) Richard Youngs 'Beyond The Valley Of The Ultrahits' (Sonic Oyster) Rita Revell 'I Had A Very Bad Time!' (Happy Endin') Roc Marciano 'Reloaded' (Decon) Seine Trance-Parenz Fredi Alberti 'Klaenge Aus Dem Engelsraum (Die Verdunklung Der Sonne Und Des Mondes)' (Scribble Art) Simbiosi 'Elements' (Werkdiscs) Suede 'Dog Man Star' (Nude) Valerio Tricoli 'Say Goodbye To The Wind' (Shelter Press) 100 Gecs '1000 Gecs' (Dog Show)

fave melbourne/naarm restaurants in 2023

Khabbay (Indian/Pakistani, Carlton) Laksa Village (Malaysian/Chinese, Donvale) Cinger Biang Biang (Dolan/Uyghur/Chinese, Carlton) Lim Kopi (Malaysian, Naarm/Melbourne CBD) Raya (South East Asian desserts, Naarm/Melbourne CBD) Taste Hunan (Hunan/Sichuan/Chinese, Naarm/Melbourne, CBD) Laksa House (Malaysian, Naarm/Melbourne, CBD)

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Brendon Randall-Myers

(composer, Scarcity, Marateck, Glenn Branca Ensemble)

If 2022 was the Return of the Show and the Return of Travel, 2023 was about Building Stability (i.e. making my teaching studio a primary income source), Hunkering Down to Finish Two Albums, and Re-Learning How to Be a Human Being. I also played a bunch of cool shows with Dither (collabs w/ Carla Kilhlstedt, Lee Ranaldo/Brian Chase, Amirtha Kidambi, AJ Santillan, and Laurie Spiegel; playing Electric Counterpoint on GFA), a couple fun Scarcity shows (playing with Liturgy, improvising on graphic scores by Anthony Hawley) and did some performances with Whimbrels and Contemporaneous.

These were albums I enjoyed (incessantly) at some point during 2023 that were mostly - but not exclusively - also released in 2023.

Agriculture - Agriculture Armand Hammer - We Buy Diabetic Test Strips Arnold Dreyblatt - Resolve Big Brave - Nature Morte Blackbraid - Blackbraid II Bummer - Dead Horse Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want to Turn Into You goat (JP) - Joy in Fear Goldfeather - Change JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown - SCARING THE HOES Jute Gyte - Unus Mundus Patet KEN Mode - VOID Killing Joke - Night Time Krallice - Mass Cathexis 2 - The Kinetic Infinite Model/Actriz - Dogsbody Modern Nature - How to Live Nabihah Iqbal - Dreamer Neil Young - Greatest Hits Oren Ambarchi - Shebang Pink Pantheress - Heaven knows The Prodigy - The Fat of the Land Rid Of Me - Traveling Slowspin - Talisman Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream Swans - The Beggar Trauma Bond - Winter’s Light Tristan Kasten-Krause and Jessica Pavone - Images of One Victory Over the Sun - Dance You Monster To My Soft Song! Yaeji - With A Hammer

Here were some shows I attended:

Wolf Eyes + Raven Chacon @Union Pool Liturgy @TV Eye Gamelan Dharma Swara, Ridgewood Presbyterian Church Moor Mother @Merkin Hall Object Collection @The Brick Theater Spectral Wound @Saint Vitus Pyrrhon + Barrsheadahl @Saint Vitus The Smile @Forest Hills Stadium Krallice @Saint Vitus Mediaqueer @Windjammer Sarah Hennies + Tristan Kasten-Krause @Issue Project Room Peter and the Wolf @Guggenheim Model/Actriz @Music Hall of Williamsburg

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Grace Bergere

(songwriter / singer / performer)

This year was full of firsts for me!

Definitely the most musically eventful year of my life to date. I went on my first tour playing bass with my great friends in COP/OUT, supporting Days n' Daze (A band I'd been listening to for years as a young punk kid.) I immediately realized touring is really all I want to do. I also got to tour alongside Subhumans in Cop/Out. Meeting them and getting to know them was mind expanding. They were all kind and humble thoughtful individuals, completely down to earth and engaged with everyone they spoke to. Every night across the midwest they brought the crowd to a cathartic screaming euphoric mess. Working with COP/OUT, whose message is so clear; to be good to each other, question everything even when it means swimming upstream with every bit of strength you have, filled me with hope. Playing on that tour with them, and watching Subhumans every night reminded me the power of music to affect real social change which is something I believed to have been lost in recent years. I met my great friend Jessica Mills on that tour and we still talk all the time.

I also started playing guitar in The Art Gray Noizz Quintet. One of my longtime favorite bands (that my very talented cool boyfriend happens to play bass in.) We went all across the West Coast, landing in Las Vegas. Playing with them has demanded I advance as a guitarist, stepping into Andrea Sicco's shoes. Andrea is a complete beast of a musician and all of his musical projects are awesome. Check out MOVIE MOVIE, his most recent project.

I also joined Crazy And The Brains on second guitar. They’re a super fun high energy punk band. I love being around such positive fun loving musicians and watching them bounce around while I do my best to keep up.

I recently finished recording my album at HOBO SOUND in Hoboken by James Frazee. The time and effort it took over the several years since I started, was at times grueling. But James never stopped caring or checked out. He helped me shape this album into something I am truly proud of, along with Richard Dev Greene, one of the first people to ever believe in my music. I am so grateful to both of them.

I started spending time with Victoria and Kay of Puzzled Panther. They quickly have become two of my best friends. It is so meaningful for me to have found such badass, driven young women to share a dream with. Puzzled Panther is raw and hypnotizing. They have a unique strong hold over their audience and every show of theirs I’ve been to has been fantastic. Victoria has joined me a few times on a song at my shows, and every time I believe has been one of the strongest points in my set.

I Met Eugene Hutz of Gogol Bordello (the first huge band I ever went to see as a young teenager.) He will be releasing my upcoming single and video for “Come And Go” on his label Casa Gogol Records in early 2024.

I just played the biggest show I’ve ever played with my solo project that plays under my name. We were on a bill with Gogol Bordello and JON SPENCER (Also one of my favorite artists.) Being on that stage standing there in front of more people I’ve ever seen in an audience from that vantage point, I felt like every second of my life was leading to that moment. Each song brought me back to the time in my life when Id written it and it felt very much like watching my life projected in front of me. It was indescribably satisfying to be on that stage. Later, in the audience, I screamed along to Gogol and watched my mom dance to songs she'd heard me blasting through the house as a kid, and felt just as moved by them as I did as a young teenager the first time I saw them.

I am so grateful to be working with Eugene. He is kind and thoughtful in his feedback and hugely supportive of me and my dreams.

I will be playing New Years Eve with the Art Gray Noizz Quintet before Kid Congo Powers and The Pink Monkey Birds !!

This last week I can honestly say, has been the best of my life to date. Like looking out over a valley after climbing for years.

BEST SHOWS

(other than the ones I was lucky enough to play at listed above)

RICHARD DAWSON

I got to see Richard Dawson three whole times!!! it was his first US appearance. He is a completely unique force. I’ve never seen such a captivated crowd. we all cried and screamed along with him.

PIGS X 7

One of those times he was playing with Pigs x7. They quickly became another favorite band of mine despite having severe technical difficulties. it was actually kind of a highlight because their front man just started joking around and had the entire audience laughing along with him and talking for about 10 minutes. I got to see them two other times that went perfectly. What a band..

JON SPENCER AND THE HIT MAKERS

I saw them at TV Eye. I had been able to squeeze myself into the DJ booth for their set. They hammered away into some kind of magical hypnosis that made me feel like I'd taken MDMA. (I had not.) I had to lean against a wall to keep my balance. They played with Licks, a badass 60s garage rock inspired band fronted by my friend Skunk.

LYDIA LUNCH RETROVIRUS

Also driving and hypnotic and loud as hell. I was left with a similar feeling of having been dosed with something at all of their shows…

JOSEPH KECKLER

The first time I saw Joseph perform was at TV eye with Lydia Lunch. He’s completely unique. He writes gorgeous songs that he sings in an incomprehensibly wide range, sometimes in languages that he has invented himself! His seamlessly mixes humor with honest beautiful songwriting.

SONGS I LISTENED TO A BILLION TIMES THIS YEAR.

ART GRAY NOIZZ QUINTET- Lie Come True JOSEPH KECKLER- The Ride JON SPENCER AND THE HIT MAKERS- Death Ray GOGOL BORDELLO- Shot Of Solidaritine PUZZLED PANTHER- Smoke And The Mirrors We Broke PIGSX 7 - Reducer ARCHERS OF LOAF- Banging On a Dead Drum

OLDER HITS THAT WERE NEW TO ME

LAURIE ANDERSON- Poison POISON GIRLS- Fear Of Freedom CULTURE SHOCK- Things To Do CAPTAIN BEEFHEART- Tropical Hot Dog WARREN ZEVON- Desperados Under The Eves MINNIE RIPERTON- Les Fleurs BOBBY GENTRY - Ode To Billy Joe TOWNES VAN ZANDT- Highway Kind

BOOKS

Joseph Keckler- Dragon at the edge of a flat world. Mark Lanegan- Sing Backwards and Weep Miriam Toews- Fight Night

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Marc Urselli

producer / engineer / sound designer

I want to thank JG Thirlwell for inviting me to submit my 2023 Year in Review. I had never done one of these before and it's been a fun challenge to go through my calendar and social media to remember and realize how much I was able to pack into this year! Selecting and writing down all of these things also helped me further grasp and understand how tremendously privileged and lucky I am to be able to do what I love all year around, year after year, and to live my life to the fullest and according to my own wishes and my own design. I don't take this lightly and I don't take it for granted. I am very aware that it comes from hard work, limitless passion and unweavery dedication, not just luck and good fortune, but nevertheless I am grateful every single day for this life and for being healthy, being able to do all of this, and for all the people in my path who trust me, inspire me, support me, challenge me, and enlighten me!

STUDIO SESSIONS, ALBUMS & PRODUCTIONS When compiling this list, it really dawned on me how fortunate I am to be working with such incredible talents and how priviledged I am to be able to witness, participate and contribute to the creation of exceptional works such as the following:

Producing, Recording & Mixing sessions with David J of Bauhaus, Norwegian artist Ihsahn (of Emperor) & Toby Driver (of Kyao Dot), John Stanier (of Battles), Brian Chase (of Yeah Yeah Yeahs), Restless Spirit, Vicki Peterson (of the Bangles), John Cowsill (of the Cowsill Family and The Beach Boys touring band) and many others for my new RAMONES tribute album to come out next year on Magnetic Eye records

Producing, Recording and Mixing a cover of Soundgarden's song "4th of July" with my doom metal / throat singing project SteppenDoom for the Magnetic Eye album "Soundgarden (Redux) and featuring Matt Cameron of Soundgarden themselves on drums

seeing the release of Brian Carpenter's "Ghost Train Orchestra & Kronos Quartet - The Music of Moondog" album featuring Kronos Quartet (which I recorded at EastSide Sound) and many other amazing guest artists

Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering a live album by Brazilian artists Zé Ibarra, Dora Morelenbaum and Julia Mestre of Bala Desejo for Glasshaus Presents & Tower Records

Mixing new albums by Glenn Max Vanderwolf (produced by Dennis Martin), by Bloodmist (Toby Driver, Mario Diaz De Leon, Jeremiah Cymermann), and by Ikue Mori & Zeena Parkins at EastSide Sound fully utilizing the analog console and the analog outboard gear (something nowadays is more and more rare)

Recording & Mixing 6 new albums by John Zorn this year alone, which brings my total JZ count to over 120 albums, and which as of this year can finally be heard on streaming platforms as well!

Recording and Producing a new album by Marco Cappelli's Italian-inspired band IDR at EastSide Sound in NYC and then going to Rome, Italy to overdub trombone and vocals with famed contemporary Neapolitan singer Raiz

Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering 2 new albums by incognito jazz / blues artist Russell Orr with legendary Brian Marsella & Brian Mitchell on keys, respectively

Recording, Mixing, and Mastering two new albums by Jessica Pavone and her trio

Producing, Recording, Mixing and Mastering a "We Are the World"-type track for NYC Mayor's Office of Immigrant Affairs with a song composed by Captain Beefheart / Jeff Buckley's guitarist Gary Lucas and 10 other musicians from various parts of the world playing their local instruments and singing in their mother's tongue

Recording and Mixing the new album by Italian singer/songwriter Beppe Voltarelli, produced by Simone Giuliani, which took second place in Italy's Premio Tenco

Recording a new film score by composer Billy Martin (of Medeski, Martin & Wood) and arranged by Simon Hanes (of Tredici Bacci)

Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering contemporary classical music sessions commissioned by Miller Theater and Columbia University with artists such as Laura Barger & Julia Den Boer, Miguel Zenon, Matt Mitchell & Miles Okazaki, Russell Greenberg & Vicky Chow

Recording new albums by contemporary classical/jazz musicians such as Miles Okazaki, Brian Drye, Anna Webber & Matt Mitchell and others Recording new albums by amazing Latin Jazz artists such as Gili Lopes, Homan Alvarez, Rodrigo Recabarren, Benjamin Furman

seeing the HBO release of John Lurie’s “Painting with John” new season where all the music was recorded & mixed by me and seeing my face briefly on TV

recording in an old church in Italy with Adriano Viterbini and Vincenzo Vasi for a project that will come out sometimes next year hopefully

SOUND DESIGN GIGS & LIVE SOUND MIXING GIGS Similarly to the list above, I am eternally greatful for the fact that all these wonderfully talented people trust me with designing, mixing and amplifying their sound so that the rest of the world can truly and fully experience their art in the most complete, sonically articulated, detailed and full spectrum way there is! Some of these highlights include:

Mixing a 90-piece orchestra + 90-piece choir playing the score to Stanley Kubrick "2001: A Space Odyssey" live-to-picture conducted by Brad Lubman in the Auditorio Nacional of Mexico City to a sold-out crowd of 10'000 people

Mixing the Grammy Award Premiere Ceremony in Los Angeles and being there to amplify and mix the immensely talented house band led by Cheche Alara and the performances by musicians such as Samara Joy, Anoushka Shankar, Arooj Aftab and more…

Mixing the Robbie Robertson tribute concert & memorial organized by Martin Scorsese at Village Studios in Los Angeles with artists such as Jackson Browne, Jason Isbell, Rocco DeLuca, Citizen Cope, Angela McCluskey, Blake Mills and Jim Keltner

Mixing the National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony concert at the White House with artists such as Dionne Warwick, Samara Joy, Joe Walsh of the Eagles, St. Vincent and others.

Sound Designing and Mixing the world premiere of "Perle Noire: Meditations for Joséphine" at the DNO Dutch National Opera House in Amsterdam, a beautiful performance/concert/opera directed by Peter Sellars, composed by Tyshawn Sorey and performed by Tyshawn Sorey and ICE International Contemporary Ensemble with soprano Julia Bullock

One of my sound design pieces inspired by Icelandic nature sounds and folklore was presented at the "Le Son 7" Art Gallery in Madrid between the 3rd and the 13th of May 2023, after it was presented the year before in London and will be presented in January 2024 in New York

mixing 12 shows by John Zorn in 2 days at Big Ears Festival in Knoxville TN

mixing more shows by John Zorn to celebrate his 70th birthday in places like Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, Miller Theater in New York, Reggio Emilia and Modena in Italy, Philharmonie in Paris, November Music Festival in Den Bosch Netherlands and Mexico City

Mixing Brian Carpenter's Ghost Train Orchestra live at Roulette with special guests David Byrne, Karen Mantler, Joan As Policewoman AND doing so right after I mixed another matinee gig earlier in the day with the New York Choral Society

working sound for the Met Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art with musical guests Lizzo and David Byrne

Mixing Claudia Acuna at Lincoln Center

mixing Idina Menzel's performance in Trafalgar Square in London for Gay Pride 2023

playing keys (something I almost never ever do!) for Japanese electronic artist Coppé's first-ever performance in Italy

mixing my first ever K-pop gig in Times Square NY

teaching Mixing Workshops at SAE in Mexico City and MOB Studios in Rome, Italy

RECORDS In no particular order, here are some of my favorite records of 2023 that I was not involved with but I wish I had been ;-)

Anohni and the Johnsons "My Back Was a Bridge for you to Cross"

Lil Yachty "Let's Start Here"

Boygenius "The Record"

Ryuichi Sakamoto "12"

Jaimie Branch "Fly or Die Fly or Die Fly or Die ((World War))"

Arooj Aftab / Vijay Iyer / Shahzad Ismaily "Love in Exile"

Peter Gabriel "I/O"

Hania Rani "Ghosts"

Meshell Ndegeocello "The Omnichord Real Book"

Bill Frisell "Four" - Ambrose Akinmusire, Bill Frisell, Herlin Riley "Owl song"

Porcupine Tree "Closure / Continuation"

Dr. John "The Brightest Smile in Town"

Spencer Zahn "Statues II"

Meshuggah "Chaosphere 25th anniversary 2023 Remastered edition"

Ennio Morricone "Segreto Songbook 1962-1973"

Sin Fang, Kjartan Holm "Angakok"

MUSIC SHOWS It's always hard for me to recount the shows I've seen because I usually see about 300-500 shows every year. LPR (Le Poisson Rouge) definitely shines through as my favorite venue and the one I've visited most often! Here are some of the highlights of 2023:

Spotlights, Imperial Triumphant, Puzzled Panthers at Saint Vitus

"La Splendida", a heavy metal opera by Laurent David & Kilter at Culture Lab LIC

Exotech 3 times, at Public Records, Mark Morris Dance Theater and at LPR

Tredici Bacci at least 2-3 times, one of which at Sultan Room

John Cale at Paradiso, Amsterdam

Plini at Melkweg, Amsterdam

Mary Halvorson Quintet at Bimhuis, Amsterdam

Thurston Moore at OCCII, Amsterdam

Jeff Goldblum at Town Hall

Xylorius White at LPR

Hal Willner's Amarcord tribute concert at Roulette

Snarky Puppy at Beacon Theater

Tim Bernardes at LPR

Groa at Taste of Iceland showcase at Pianos

JG Thirlwell & Mivos Quartet at National Sawdust

Bloodywood at Irving Plaza

Hermeto Pascoal twice, at Pioneer Works and LPR

Sexmob at Fotografiska

Grace Jones at Hammerstein Ballroom

Lisa Fisher at Blue Note

Iggy Pop and Debbie Harry / Blondie, London

Laurie Anderson & SexMob Let X=X at Barbican in London and BAM in Brooklyn - The Cult at MEDIMEX festival in Taranto, Italy - Tom Morello at MEDIMEX festival in Taranto, Italy

Emperor at Kings Theater

Ibrahim Malouff at Drom - Elan Mehler & Dave Douglas at Fotografiska

The Misfits at Prudential Center - Oumou Sangare at Brooklyn Bandshell

Red Fang at Gramercy Theater

The Eagles & Steely Dan at MSG - Tammy Faye Starlight at Joe's Pub

Julian Lage at Village Vanguard - Mdou Moctar at Summerstage

Makaya McCraven at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy

Fatoumata Diawara at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy

Sisters of Mercy at Cinzella Festival, in Grottaglie Italy

SunRa Arkestra at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy

Robert Plant at Locus Festival, in Bari Italy

Mr. Bungle at Terminal 5

Melvins, Boris and all the other amazing bands at Desert Fest at Knockdown Center

Front Line Assembly at LPR

Peter Gabriel at MSG

Empire State Bastard at LPR & St Vitus

Cavalera Conspiracy at Irving Plaza

Swans at Music Hall of Williamsburg - Steven Bernstein w/ Millennial Territory at Dizzy's

Nick Cave & Jonny Greenwood 3 times, twice at Beacon Theater and once at Kings Theater

The Mission at LPR - Titan to Tychons at NuBlu

Dresden Dolls at Bowery Ballroom

Robert Glasper's Art Blakey tribute at Blue Note - Puzzled Panthers at Bowery Electric

Ghost Train Orchestra at Roulette

Arthur Brown in London

The Mongol Khan theater production at the Coliseum in London

8 Bit Big Band at Sony Hall

Bud Spencer Blues Explosion at Monk in Rome Italy

plus all the amazing artists I can't recall individually that I have seen at Winter Jazz Festival, Long Play Festival and Big Ears Festival

BOOKS I am sadly a slow reader and my pile of books on my bedside table is always bigger than the time awake I have when I finally do get to bed, but here are some I have read, or started to read or am planning on starting to read:

Kid Congo Powers "Some New Kind Of Kick"

Nick Cave & Seán O'Hagan "Faith, Hope and Carnage"

Warren Ellis "Nina Simone's Gum"

Rick Rubin "The Creative Act: A Way of Being"

Quincy Jones "12 Notes: On Life and Creativity"

Quincy Trouple "Miles & Me"

MUSEUMS I try to visit museums in every city I go to, whether I am on tour, working, traveling for pleasure or whatever the reason is… Art is my passion, my love and a way of life��

Museu Picasso, Barcelona, Spain

Fundcaio Joan Miró, Barcelona, Spain

The Salvador Dali Theater and Museum, Figueres, Spain

Salvador Dalí House / Fundació Gala, Cadaqués, Port Lligat, Spain

Park Gúell, Barcelona, Spain

Moco Museum, Barcelona, Spain

Sagrada Familia, Barcelona, Spain

Vermeer Exhibit, Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Moco Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Amsterdam Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Stedelijk Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Art on Paper, New York

Frieze, New York

Karl Lagerfled "A Line of Beauty", Metropolitan Museum of Art, NY

Yayoi Kusama "Infinity Mirror Rooms", Tate Modern, London, UK

Frida Kahlo & Diego Riviera House & Studio, Mexico City

Palacio De Bellas Artes, Mexico City

Museo Jumex, Mexico City

Museo Tamayo Arte Contemporanea, Mexico City

Paul Gugelmann "Poetic Machines", Aarau, Switzerland

MOVIES There are soooo many movies I still want to / need to see… I love movies but I prioritize work and live music in my life and I will only watch movies on planes, on (very very) rainy days or those rare times when I don't have a concert on my calendar, so here are a few of those rainy/non-concert films, in no particular order:

Killers of the Flower Moon (for the story, the acting and the soundtrack)

Equalizer 3 (because aside from its Hollywood-ish story and ending, it's a realistic look at how organized crime works in Italy)

Little Richard: I am Everything (for his story, his character, his music and his courage!)

Psychedelicized: The Electric Circus Stroy (for the amazing portrait of a time that's past but that changed NYC forever!)

American Symphony (for the amazing story, talent, spirit and courage of Jon Batiste)

32 Sounds (because my life is about sound…)

Hallelujah: Leonard Cohen, A Journey, A Song (because Leonard was an amazing artist and songwriter and singer and so many friends are in this movie)

Oppenheimer (because that history is so complex and so divided as the country in which it took place)

TRAVEL Travel is the richess of life! I travel SO MUCH that I am on a plane AT LEAST once a month and usually it is to an international location… This year was no different, so I've decided to only list 12 trips for this section:

January: Ringing in the year in a medieval tower in Barcelona and spending the first 4 days of the new year trying all the tapas bars, restaurants, food stands this beautiful city has to offer and seing the Sagrada Familia cathedral for the 3rd time in my life

February: Living in Amsterdam for 3 weeks visiting all the musuems, all the music venues and all the while working at the Dutch National Opera with some amazing folks (see list above)

March: Snowboarding the Swiss and the French alps

April: Visiting Knoxville Tennessee for Big Ears (easily the best independent music festival in the US!!!) for the 2nd time in 2 years, and hopefully the beginning of many more visits in the future!

May: Spending time in sunny Los Angeles and plotting a way to spend more time there and make music

June: Visiting London twice in one month to work and see amazing music shows, theater shows and art exhibits

July: coming back from London on July 6th only to realize that strangely there is no travel for the rest of this month! So weird and unusual!

August: Spending the month in Puglia, Southern Italy eating good food, kitesurfing in the Adriatic and Ionium sea, seeing tons of concerts and playing one myself!

September: arriving in Mexico City and getting my very own police escort motorcade to make it in time from the airport to the theater

October: On tour with John Zorn in Italy, France and the Netherlands

November: Flying to Los Angeles with a 36 hour notice for a concert I was hired for in secrecy having been told "we need a mixing engineer who can mix music for a room full of musicians" and showing up for the Robbie Robertson tribute orgnaized by Martin Scorsese with people like Joni Mitchell and Leonardo DiCaprio in attendance

December: DC-to-DF aka flying to Washgington DC to work at the White House and then flying straight to Mexico City I've finished the year with travel to my motherland of Switzerland, my fatherland of Italy and my second home of London UK!

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DJ Food aka Kevin Foakes

Music: Kosmischer Laufer - Volume 5 LP (UCR) Soia, Julien Sénélas, Jérôme Vassereau - In C for 11 Oscillators and 53 Forms LP (unjenesaisquoi) Cate Brooks - Tapeworks DL (Cafe Kaput) Memorials - Music For Film: Tramps! LP (State 51 Conspiracy) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - PetroDragonic Apocalypse… LP (Album of the year) Brian Eno - The Lighthouse radio station (Sonos) (most listened to) Niholoxica - Source of Denial LP (Crammed Discs) SareemOne - Olivine Window Coast Contra - Breathe & Stop Freestyle/Never Freestyle/Scenario Freestyle Move78 - Grains LP Heiroglyphic Being - The Moon Dance LP (Apnea) Raj Pannu - Past Crimes EP 12" (To Pikap Records) Gordon Chapman-Fox - The Nine Travellers LP (Castles In Space Subscription Library)

Gigs / Events: Beyond The Streets exhibition @Saatchi gallery, London Sunroof / Finlay Shakespeare @iklectik, London The Light Surgeons - The Consensual Hallucination @iklectik, London Memorials at the State 51 Summer Psych party @State 51, London FogFest2 @iklectik, London JG Thirlwell & Ensemble @Bush Hall, London Machina Bristronica, Bristol Visiting Peel Acres with Eilon Paz for Dust & Grooves Nihiloxia @the Jazz Cafe, London

Design / Packaging: Yves Malone - A Hello To A Goodbye LP (Castles In Space) Drumetrics - Phuzzle (Drumetrics) Waclaw Zimpel - Train Spotter LP (State 51) David Boulter - Factory 3" CD (Clay Pipe Music) Fluctuosa - Wetware EP 12" (Analogical Force) Fluxus - Orbit & Shine LP (Castles In Space) Floating Points - Birth4000 12" (Ninja Tune) Cate Brooks - Easel Studies LP + badge (Clay Pipe Music) Brian Eno - Top Boy OST CD (Beatink)

Books / Magazines / Comics: Medical Grade Music - Steve Davis & Kavis Torabi (White Rabbit) Doctor Strange - Fall Sunrise - Tradd & Heather Moore (Marvel) Tales To Enlighten - The New Testament - Matt King and James Edward Clark Pop - Milton Glaser (Phaidon) Kevin O'Neill Apex Edition (2000AD) Mark Stafford - Salmonella Smorgasbord (Soaring Penguin Press) Savage Impressions - Bruce Lichen (Independent Project Records) Hexagon Bridge - Richard Blake (Image) Monica - Daniel Clowes (Fantagraphics) Acid Valley - Luke Insect Petrol Head - Rob Williams & Pye Parr (Image) Lawless - Dan Abnett & Phil Winslade (Rebellion) Giant Robot Hellboy - Mignola/Fegredo (Dark Horse) Facelss & The Family - Matt Lesniewski (Oni Press)

Films: Barbie Squaring The Circle : The Story of Hipgnosis

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chaotic-on-main · 7 months

Text

Epilogue

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, eventual smut

☾ Author's note ➼ Heeeeyy I'm back. If you haven't had an eye on my masterlist for Unspoken Words, you might have missed that I've been working on an epilogue. SURPRISE. If you have, then here it is lol. I am OFFICIALLY done with UW and I'm so sad about it. ALSO for some reason my tumblr app hates me and any time I italicize a line, it italicizes the entire paragraph and I have no idea why. As always, the sign language lines are marked with ' and speaking lines marked with ".

Thank you to anyone who has taken time out of their lives to read my "little" story. I enjoyed writing about this little world and I could not be happier to know that most of you liked reading it. I appreciate you more than you know. Can you believe this is around 100k words? Crazy. Anyways, I'm gonna go write some more, I'll see ya around! <3

☾ Word Count ➼ ~4k

Reddish-orange leaves dance in a unique ballet number past the window you were currently staring out of. You can't keep your fingers from picking at the sleeves of your wool sweater as you wait for your speech therapist to come and get you from the semi-quiet lobby. The only noises you hear comes from the reception desk and the TV mounted opposite of the couch you were waiting on. The weather channel calls for a beautiful weekend with warmer than usual temperatures – which is good considering Halloween is tomorrow.

A side door leading to the back offices opens up, and your name is called from a stout brunette woman with large rimmed glasses and a kind smile. She holds it open as she beckons you forward, and you don't hesitate to smile back as you pick up your bag and make your way through the door and down the familiar hall on her heels.

You’ve been seeing Dr. Boreal for about almost two years now. You started speech therapy shortly after starting trauma therapy – something they had recommended. You weren't quick to decline the suggestion, but you'd be lying if you said you had ever thought about taking back your speech. Some time in your youth, you just assumed it was gone forever. That it was something that couldn't be fixed.

According to Dr. Foust, your trauma therapist, the speech block was mental. Therefore, it was something that could be explored and possibly broken through.

When he had said that, you had newfound hope and suddenly a silent goal to work towards.

It's like clockwork the way you stepped into Dr. Boreal's navy blue office, stepping over to the right and onto the plush cream colored couch meant just for patients. On the walls of her office sits multiple picture frames and motivational posters, all with smiles and bright colors. Her dark curtains sit parted, letting in the afternoon autumn sun that hits the wall next to you. You watch as she grabs the folder with your name on it before sitting in her large red chair and smiling over to you.

“So, how have you been? How was your trip with Levi?”

‘I’m doing well. And It was lovely! You were right, too. The road to Trost is gorgeous this time of year and the trees! So pretty.’ You think back at the little vacation Levi took you on just a week ago. He had taken the scenic route to the little town that you and he had rented a cabin in.

The leaves were at the end of their life and littered the ground wherever you went, crunching underneath your boots. Between the intimate moments and crisp atmosphere, it really was a magical time. Levi practically had to drag you back home.

On the way out, Levi found this adorable tea shop. It's not easy finding a place that made tea as well as he did, and of course he didn't say anything, but you could tell how much he enjoyed it. You won't soon forget the content on his normally stoic face. That reminds you of the little package snuggled in your purse so you reach down into it to pull out a small, rectangular tin.

‘I got this for you.’ You beam at her as you hand it over gently.

“Cranberry autumn tea?” She inspects the wording on the metal, hazel eyes glittering gold in the sunlight that reflects off the container. Her eyes shift to you as a grateful smile lights up her weathered face. “Oh you sweet thing, thank you so much. But you shouldn't have.”

‘As thanks for dealing with me.’ You laugh softly, leaning back into the plush couch.

“You know it's no problem. Even if I wasn't paid, I'd still enjoy your company.” She waves dismissively after setting her gift down on the table in front of her. “So, let's see where we left off last time.”

You pick at the edges of your sleeves once again as you watch her find the right place in her notes. Dr. Boreal is one of the kindest people you've had the pleasure of being around. Though she was being paid to help you, she always did so much more. She was patient with you when you struggled to get past certain goals, and when your voice hurt after a grueling session she would bring you herbal tea with honey to smooth the pain. Levi joked that you liked her tea more than his to which you always rolled your eyes at.

“Well you have made outstanding progress. Of course, there is still plenty we still need to work on. But you're doing well.” She looks down at her papers as she talks, the scratch of her pen fills the silence after she finishes. She looks back up to you. “Have you shown anyone your progress yet?”

Those around you are aware of your long journey through therapy. They even celebrated with you after one year - Hange's idea of course. Your sister couldn't hold it in when you had told them of the progress you've made and the goals you were looking forward to completing in the oncoming sessions.

What they didn't know was that you were even in speech therapy, and how far in your speech recovery you were. Keeping it secret from Levi was getting harder with every passing week.

‘No, but I plan to soon, I promise.’ You pinch your lips together in a grimace. This has been a threat for the last 6 months but truthfully, you've been too scared to tell anyone. No, not scared. Nervous.

“Well, you know my stance on that. I’m sure they're going to be ecstatic, when you're ready to do so.” Dr. Boreal sets out a recorder to let you hear your voice the way she does, a tool you both found the most helpful when it came to fixing the areas that needed the most work. “Enough of that though, are you ready to start?”

With a confident smile, you open your mouth to speak.

A few hours later, you find yourself home and in the kitchen with your mind in another dimension. You’re currently plating up a vegetable tray on a tupperware platter as autumnal lofi weaves through the room from the speakers behind you. You’re so focused on arranging your sliced up miscellaneous veggies that you don't hear the metal key in the front door and the light footsteps of your boyfriend coming home for the evening.

“Hey.” Levi mutters from behind you, snaking his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder to look at what you're doing – not without difficulty, of course. You jump at his sudden proximity causing you to drop the chosen dipping sauces in the middle of the platter, disturbing the once perfect arrangement.

There's a soft sigh from you, but you feel the giddiness at the expected company fluttering in your stomach. Even after a few years, he still gives you that effect. You twist in his arms to face him, and his gray eyes are downturned in concern.

“Are you okay? Was therapy too much today?” He lessens his grip on you so you can pull your hands up to sign.

Levi Ackerman’s raven hair is slicked back from him running his fingers through it, and the way that it stayed put and the sheen on the strands, you can tell it must be raining. You've been so fixated on making sure it looked good that you hadn't even noticed. His gaze stares into yours as he searches for what might be bothering you, so you give him a reassuring smile.

‘No, it was actually really good. She said I've made a lot of progress.’

“That's good. Did you come home late, or have you been working on this tray the whole time?” He glances over your shoulder at the vegetables now thrown about on the counter.

‘Yes and no. I decided to run by the farmers market for more options. But they didn't have anything we didn't already have.’ You explain, shrugging your shoulders.

The afternoon sun was so nice on your face that you would have been a fool to not take advantage of it - and it's a good thing you did. Your eyes slide to the water droplets that drip down on the outside of the living room windows.

“Hm. Well we need to leave for Hange's party soon and you're not dressed. Let me finish this for you and you go get ready.” He leans in to kiss your forehead before unraveling his arms and pushing you in the direction of the bedroom. You only roll your eyes but make your way to the back as he asked.

Hange's Halloween Bash is something they have been planning for about a year. The moment the decorations went on sale last winter, she snatched up what she could. She said something about starting a new tradition for her friends turned family. Levi wasn't as excited about the prospect of such a social gathering but you were, and that was enough to get him to go.

Not only were you able to get him to go, you were also able to talk him into dressing up with you.

In front of the mirror, you finish tying up a black corset that wraps around your waist. It helps form-fit the blue long sleeve dress that drops down to your bare ankles with your pair of flats completing the look. You were almost ready – all that was left was the big blue bow that you pinned to the back of your head as best you could. You suppose for a makeshift Ariel, this would do just fine. You almost chuckle at the irony of the characters you suggested to Levi a month ago.

A girl who can't talk and a prince that loved her despite it.

You do a small twirl in the mirror to make sure everything looks right. You almost jump out of your skin at the sudden sight of the person standing in the doorway. Levi leans against the door frame, the corner of his mouth twitching into a small smirk. His hands are in the pockets of his work clothes as he watches you intently, taking in the sight of you. With a hand over your heart, you give him a small frown.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.” He doesn't sound sorry at all.

‘You are too quiet for your own good. One day you're going to scare me so bad that I'm going to punch you.’ You shake your head but smile anyways. You make your way to the closet to pull out Levi's costume for the night, making sure to grab the red waist sash that threatens to fall to the floor.

“You keep saying that.” He takes the hanger from you but not before leaning in to give you a chaste kiss. With a small laugh, you head out of the bedroom and down the hall back to the kitchen.

On your way there, you take a moment to glance at the framed photographs on the walls. Levi made sure to hang up the pictures he took from his apartment that he shared with Erwin as soon as you both moved in.

There was the one of him, Furlan, and Isabel as well as the one of him and Erwin on graduation day though Levi had persisted with Erwin to keep the latter. His blonde and blue eyed friend told him to take it as he had plenty more photos of the two he could hang up. That didn’t make Levi feel any better and it makes you wonder what photos Levi might be hiding from you.

Dispersed in between those are ones of you and Hange, and some with your shared circle of friends. The last one frames three photo strips next to each other. The first one is from your first Sakura Festival a few years ago where you sat on Levi's lap – both red faced and unaware of the extent of your affections for each other.

The other two are from the same photo booth, taken from the previous and current year. With each year, the smiles and looks of adoration grew. Both, luckily, were without the presence of your sister and Erwin. Surprisingly, it wasn't your idea to go back. As much as Levi did his best to hide his sentimental side, it was always present.

When you get to the kitchen counter, you see the platter rearranged and closed up with the matching plastic lid. It looks perfect, even better than when you took a crack at it. You also see two cups of tea on the counter, both with steam rising up and dancing in the kitchen lights before dissipating into the air.

With a grin, you reach over to grab what you can only assume is yours based on the light color of your tea then walk around the island to sit on the bar stool, leaning on the counter with the mug in both hands. After your first sip, you sigh happily. It was one of the new teas Levi had brought back from the trip because he couldn't get enough of it. Earthy with hints of floral notes, topped with a citrusy zing.

When you start to wonder if Levi was okay, your eyes catch movement in the hallway. You watch Levi struggle with his sash, the soft grumbling of his irritation coming from under his breath as he tugs on it. Sometimes you never realize how hard it is to do something with less than the normal amount of fingers until it's forced upon you. Of course, Levi was never one to ask for help even after all these years.

Without a second thought, you stand up and make your way over to him. He doesn't fight as you take the fabric from his fingers and tighten it from the back. Tucked into the sash is a white blouse, loose enough to billow in the evening breeze. Black pants and matching boots fit snug against his lower half. When you're done, you turn him to face you to inspect the whole ensemble. With his hair properly slicked back, he was the perfect Prince Eric.

‘You look rather dashing, you know that?’

“Tch.” He rolls his eyes at you, but there's not a trace of annoyance radiating off of him. As much as he hates it, he loves you and would do anything you asked – within reason.

‘Are you almost ready to go?’

“In a few, I didn't just brew this for nothing.” He makes his way to the counter to grab his mug and instead of sitting, he stands propped up against the counter like you were but with his phone in hand.

“Your sister wants to know if you want apple juice or apple cider.” He mutters, his gray eyes flicking up over to you as you make your way over to the seat you were just at to finish your own cup. “Both, right?”

‘How did you know?’ You laugh, but nod in agreement. You watch as his fingers type away, the clicking of the keys filling back empty space. There's barely any sunlight coming through the closed blinds signifying that nightfall was almost here. You just now noticed Levi had gone ahead and turned off everything for you while you were getting ready.

The gut feeling you felt last week is back. There was a moment when Levi drove through the rolling hills, the golden rays of sunset lighting up his face. A moment of peace that washed over you as his soft gaze flitted over to you in the passenger seat for only a second, one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh.

With a nervous sigh, you reach over and pull down his phone with one finger to get his attention. Instantly he looks at you with worry, his mouth downturned.

“Are you okay?”

‘I bet you love me.’

His eyebrows raise, a little surprised at your random question – at something so obvious that he worries even more that something is wrong.

“What’s this about?”

‘Humor me. I bet you love me.’

“You bet right.” He draws out, confusion lacing his tone.

‘You have to answer a question now. Since I was right.’

“What do you want to know that you don’t already?” His eyes roll at you again, but he sets his phone and mug down and leans over on his elbows to watch you intently.

‘It’s a simple but very important question, I promise.’

“Tch, okay. Hit me.”

Your eyes are suddenly fixated on the fridge to the right of you, the heat of his stare making you shy. For a split second, you almost chicken out. With your heart in your throat, you feel as if you're going to choke as your pulse quickens. Can you do this? Were you ready for this? You were quite tired after today, maybe it's best saved for another day. These thoughts race loudly in your head, but the moment you look back up to meet Levi's gaze, they cease to a quiet murmur.

No, you're ready. And you can do this.

With your fingers laced together, you rest your chin on them and continue to look up at Levi's perplexed expression. Your mouth opens and closes a few times before you're finally able to find your voice.

“Will… you marry… me, Levi?” Your voice is scratchy despite the honey tea you drank after your session. It's rough, and to you it's far from pretty. But the change in expression on Levi's face is almost worth it as he stares at you dazed. It's almost funny to see the physical reaction of his brain comprehending what just happened, like a computer crashing and rebooting.

He's reaching over the counter suddenly and cupping your face in his calloused hands. He holds you there as his wide eyes bounce back and forth between yours. You fight back a laugh, your lips pinched together and quivering.

“Do that again. Say my name again.” The urgency in his voice is palpable.

“L…” You take a deep breath and close your eyes, trying to find your voice yet again. It's hard, but you try again anyway. “Levi.” It comes out brittle this time, leaving an uncomfortable pain in its wake.

“How did this happen?” His own voice sounds a little higher than before, and you have to bite back another laugh.

‘I've been working on it alongside my sessions with Foust.’ You've met your vocal quota for the day. Levi's hands stay cupped around your cheeks and he pulls you in until his soft lips touch yours again. Your eyes flutter closed as you kiss him back, feeling the weight of your anxiety lift off your shoulders in an instant.

When he pulls away, his stare is conflicted and before you know it, he's released you and whips around the corner down the hallway. Dread inches its way into your chest where the anxiety was before as you realize he never answered your question. Did he need a moment? Did he even hear what you asked? The shock may have been too much. Your teeth bite into the inside of your cheek as you watch the dark hallway nervously.

A few seconds later, he emerges from the shadows with red creeping from his neck up into his face. He's flustered and holding something small in his hand. It takes you a moment to register what it was, and when you do, you jump to your feet to meet him halfway.

He doesn’t hesitate to open it to you though his fingers tremble ever so slightly. Inside are two golden rings, interlocked together. A small oval ruby sits surrounded by metal vines beset by smaller white diamonds in the shape of leaves. It's simple yet elegant. Your eyes snap up to his, no doubt as big as saucers.

Not only is this ring breathtaking, it's also groundbreaking to you. You've seen this ring box around since before you both had moved in together. It's been in the closet collecting dust, so of course you didn't think anything of it. He's had this ring for a long time, sitting right under your nose.

‘How long were you planning to propose?’

“For a while now. I just didn't know when would be a good time.” He carefully takes out the one with the red ruby and holds it up to you. The kitchen lights glimmer off the smooth surface reflecting red against his fingers. “I can't believe you beat me to it, though.” So he did hear you.

‘I wasn't planning to do it tonight, but I just had a feeling.’

“You never cease to amaze me, you know that?” He leans over to place the ring box onto the side table behind him, then turns to you. Then he does something you've only ever seen in movies – Levi gets down on one knee and the ring out to you.

“Um. I'm not good with things like this. But I just want you to know that I love you. And I've never been more prepared to spend my life with someone, if you'll have me. Will you marry me?” His eyes look away for a second before focusing back on you. Even though you had pretty much said yes when you asked first, he still seemed so nervous.

To see Levi in such a mess like this in front of you makes that laugh you held back burst forth, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Speechless again, you reach your hand out to him and just like that, he slides the ring on your finger with ease.

“I- uh, borrowed one of your rings to get it resized.” He mutters as you stare at it curiously. “So, that's a yes right?” Even though you took the ring, you can still hear the anxiety in his voice.

‘Of course, dummy.’ You laugh again before pulling him up on his feet by his collar and into you for another kiss, this time deeper and full of the love that you have for this man. When you pull away, you can't help but stare at the metal hugging your ring finger.

“It was my mom’s, she insisted on me having it. I think she knew.” He grabs your hand and pulls you into him, one hand on your waist and the other cupping your face. “I suppose we should call her tomorrow, yeah?”

You nod sharply, your smile hurting your cheeks, but you don't care. All you feel right now is the same peace you felt last week and excitement for the future ahead. You didn't want anyone else.

“Say it again?”

“Levi.” He leans in again, hand still on your face as he presses his lips against your once more. There have been many shared kisses since you both became official but this one felt different. You didn't have the words for it, but it was miles away from being bad.

Levi's phone vibrating loudly on the counter disturbs the comfortable silence and you can only sigh. You almost forgot that you had somewhere to be and are reminded by the caller ID flashing your sister's name. In Levi fashion, he ignores it but he does pull away to look at you with a grimace.

“So who’s telling them?”

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