Levi Ackerman in every 進撃の巨人 Episode

....Thank you Isayama for giving us this man ❤️

Let's Talk Whump No.15

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! I’m Malice and I’ll be your host today. 

Here today to talk all things whumpy is the fabulous @actress4him!

We’re thrilled to have you here, @actress4him! Let’s start with a non-whump fact or two about yourself!

I go by Jada! I’m a mom of two girls, ages 6 and 8, and it’s a blast watching them play all the whumpy things we did as children and wondering if they’ll grow up to be whumpers, too. When I’m not writing, I enjoy creating cosplay, occasionally drawing, and going on adventures with my family.

Let’s get straight to the point! What does the term whump mean to you? 

Anything where the character goes through a hard time, physically or emotionally, or ideally, both! And we’re actually allowed to focus on it and see the beginning, middle, and aftermath.

And how did you find the whump community? Anything specific that made you want to join?

It all started on fanfiction.net with the hurt/comfort tag, then led to AO3, where I learned of Bad Things Happen Bingo and first started seeing the term whump. That prompted me to create a Tumblr account, so that I could participate in all these whump events I was hearing about, and the rest is history!

Has your view on whump changed since you joined? Maybe your choice of OC vs Fandom?

When I first joined I was solely writing fanfiction, though I did write a series with an OC 

insert, and I had been writing original stories for most of my life. It took a bit of time and seeing how well other people’s OCs were received on Tumblr to get the courage to go back to writing my own characters and universes. 

And now everyone’s favourite bit: let’s talk whump tropes! Do you have nay particular favourites?

Lady whump, if that counts as a trope! Also captivity whump, restraints of any kind, especially gags/muzzles and stress positions, using whumpees against each other, playing on fears, whipping, stabbing, touch-aversion, even better when combined with touch-starvation…I could go on.

They’ve all got to be in my top favs too! Do you mind sharing a couple of your favourite pieces that you’ve written?

Oh my, that’s hard to decide. If I’m allowed to pick two, I’d first say Again, the opening piece for my series Obsession. The writing muse was just flowing that day and I always liked the way that one turned out.

Then from my favorite series, The Shadow of Death, my other favorite piece is I Will Punish Your Friend for Your Failure. That was a bingo prompt that I had way too much fun writing, there’s just so much pain all around for both the characters and so much angst to go along with it!

Damn, I love the lady whump in“Again”! So good. Do you mind sharing what your writing routine looks like?

I do most of my writing at night after my kids are in bed, usually between 10-11pm. I also sneak in writing time while they’re in dance class, though I do more rp during the day than personal writing. I have been known to get struck with a certain sentence that I don’t want to forget and quickly open Google Docs on my phone to add it, but most of the time I need to sit down with my laptop and get the words flowing to get much done.

And is there an easy thing for you to write? Or something you struggle with writing? 

Dialogue usually comes easily to me, especially when characters get angry. That seems to be when they have a tendency to take over the plot and do whatever they want! 

My biggest writing struggle is battle scenes, which is unfortunate considering the number of characters I’ve created that need to have physical fights fairly often. 

GIve us a sneak peak! Is there anything you're working on at the moment? 

Currently I’m putting the most work into the Soldier Boy AU with my OC Kamaria. I’m not entirely sure how it’s going to end yet, since it started out as a simple idea that I thought would only take 2-3 parts and I’m now on part 6, but it’s been a fun ride so far. 

I’ve also been having fun brainstorming, role playing, and writing a bit of Kamaria’s Royal AU, and am hoping that my brain will let me write another chapter of Liliana’s story sometime soon.

Is there any writing advice you’d like to share?

For me, what works best against writer’s block is having multiple series/WIPs so that I can bounce around to whatever is inspiring me at the moment. It’s when I try to force myself to write something that I’m not feeling that I start getting stuck and bored. And when the block still hits, I do a lot of reading - of others’ works and my own old ones! - and roleplaying and brainstorming with friends and searching for prompts to get inspired again. Most of all, though, just be patient with yourself when the muse is in hiding! It’ll come back eventually. 

Finally, shout-out time! Let’s hype some people up!

Shout out to @painful-pooch for being my best online friend and brainstorm partner and for bringing her OC Bruno into existence!

Also to @aprilwaters and @sableflynn for being so welcoming when I was first finding my way in the whump community, and to these fantastic people for being my ongoing rp partners:

@inscrutable-shadow

@peaches-and-dumbs

@ocean-blue-whump

@crash-bump-bring-the-whump

@whumpy-arts-and-crafts

And to everyone else on the Slices of Whump Discord server for making it a great place to hang out!

Anything you'd like to add?

Thanks for this interview, it was fun! And to anyone reading, I love chatting whump and meeting new people who share the same interests, so feel free to stop by my blog and say hello anytime!

Thanks so much for joining us today, @actress4him!

And to all you lovely folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

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ICEBREAKER by HANNAH GRACE

review! | some spoilers under cut!!

Title: Icebreaker

Author: Hannah Grace

Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary Romance (Mature)

Year Published: 2022

Chapter Count: 50 + Epilogue

Page Count: 114

Synopsis: Anastasia Allen has worked her entire life for a shot at Team USA. It looks like everything is going according to plan when she gets a full scholarship to the University of California, Maple Hills and lands a place on their competitive figure skating team.

Nothing will stand in her way, not even the captain of the hockey team, Nate Hawkins.

Nate’s focus as team captain is on keeping his team on the ice. Which is tricky when a facilities mishap means they are forced to share a rink with the figure skating team—including Anastasia, who clearly can’t stand him.

But when Anastasia’s skating partner faces an uncertain future, she may have to look to Nate to take her shot.

Sparks fly, but Anastasia isn’t worried…because she could never like a hockey player, right?

BREDLYN SPEAKS..

Alright so I absolutely love this book, genuinely. This is probably one of the first “booktok” books that I’ve read where I was wholeheartedly enthralled the entire time; granted, the only other book I’ve read strictly because of tiktok was by holleen coover so… enough said on that.

I love both Nathan and Anastasia a whole bunch, and I think that they balance each other outstandingly well. They’re both very supportive to each other, and they definitely have the type of relationship that makes you feel all fuzzy and shit. Hannah Grace is a phenomenal writer and she does a great job in including side characters in the story, I personally hate a book where a character is mentioned once and then completely disappears off the face of the earth.. if you hate that as well, this book is def for you.

I’ve seen reviews of this book where people shame it for a few reason.

Too much / too frequent spice.

The amount of filler chapters it has.

The ending.

Let’s address these from my perspective, as someone who accidentally read a review before actually reading the book.

The spice scenes are in fact very frequent in this book. They aren’t extremely graphic in the sense where Hannah Grace doesn’t explain every single detail, so the scenes themselves don’t feel too prolonged. If you’re someone who reads spice in novels regularly, this won’t be a problem for you. And if you’re newer to reading spice then i’d say this is a good start, especially if you become embarrassed easily while reading this sort of thing. Nothing more to say other than… uh… I thoroughly enjoyed it. So yeah LMAO

Okay I’d like to preface this point by saying that I’m someone who loves the little corny shit that romance novels have to offer. If you are someone who loves when novels stick to the plot 100% of the time, this book is probably not for you. While ‘Icebreaker’ does follow a specific plot, there is many many chapters in the book where the characters are just eating literal shit (aka literally doing nothing). Wether it be an entire chapter of Anastasia and Nathan cuddling, or one of Anastasia and Robbie cooking Indian food together, etc. Again, I am a SUCKER for these type of plot scarce chapters, they are my fav and I am completely unapologetic about it.

The ending wasn’t that bad.. truly it wasn’t. People are so overdramatic ohmyDAYS!!!! The Epilogue takes place a couple-ish years after the last numbered chapter, fast forwarding to a very-much-prego Anastasia talking to her therapist about how her in-the-belly-but-very-ready-to-pop baby makes her have to pee. She narrates a few things, just filling us (the reader) in about some stuff that’s happened in the 2 years that were skipped, and then her and Nathan are at dinner yadda yadda yoooooou. Again, people are dramatic, the end was not half as bad as they’re making it out to be. Does it seem slightly rushed? Sure, but that’s because of the contrast between the pace of the actual story vs. the info cramming of the Epilogue. I was satisfied so it didnt rlly bother me idk.

Now that that’s addressed, one thing I really want to point out is the outstanding character development in this book. I’m obsessed with seeing how the characters stress about their problems, and then seeing as the chapters progress, how they overcome their own dilemmas. Hannah Grace’s integration of real world problems in this semi-lighthearted semi-angsty book, it’s so so good.

The way Anastasia tackles her eating disorder, and the way that she reacts to realizing she even has one.. It’s all very spot on and realistic, which is something I can definitely appreciate. I feel as if sometimes authors slap on certain mental health problems to these characters just to create the illusion of depth or dramatics; and a lot of the time they don’t portray said mental health issues accurately. i.e. it’s mentioned once, maybe twice, and is never touched on again, only for it to be implied later on that the character overcame the issue. It’s all very weird and halfhearted. But ‘Icebreaker’ and Hannah Grace do it phenomenally well.

pic taken from @maddiesflame

BREDLYN’S FINAL THOUGHTS..

Literal beaut of a book, I genuinely enjoyed every moment that I was reading this book.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌟 | 5 stars.

Very much recommend!

Breddy Out!

Shadowbringers being 4 years old now just has brought back so many feelings, emotions, and gratefulness that it's overwhelming. I've seen others express sentiment that the expansion saved/changed their life and it and I echo that as silly as it may seem to some. 

I was in a really shitty place. Life was really looking bleak and I was running out of joy. No work, relationship issues, family making life hell, etc. I was actually mad at the game and ready to quit despite it being my primary escape (and I will confess, logging in as a scholar main that early release day 1 was difficult and I was upset enough I almost didn't give the expansion a shot). However, my partner insisted that what was ahead was meant for me and to keep going. As funny as it is to say, those damn purple trees in Lakeland is what began me letting go of my bitterness and take each step with wide eyed interest. The Crystarium was honestly more magnificent seeing in game than in the trailer. But, of all the things that planted the strongest seed in my heart, it was seeing Exarch rushing into the middle of Lakeland to find us. I need to preface this with where I was creatively and fandom wise. I was struggling on my original fiction and had just began writing fanfic again as a means to learn to stop destroying my own work because I didn't think it was up to par. I wasn't even writing in final fantasy universe (not to say I hadn't before. I use to be known elsewhere in other numbered games). And as for fandom, I had been checked out since my last major deep dive in my teens due to some traumatic shit that happened. I'd enjoy from affair, but the drive to participate again was minuscule. I was more than happy to sit and daydream about my favs in solitude. And none of my favs involved FFXIV. Cloud Strife was my fixation for nearly a decade and no FFXIV could possibly top him. There was no contest and I just wasn't invested in FFXIV enough then to even absorb the story anywhere near as much as I do now (that's a tale for another time). So, lemme tell you when I realized those first feelings of that new fandom fav love was stirring, in such an intense way that I hadn't felt SINCE I first played FFVII, something in me fundamentally changed. Am I saying the catboy rewired my brain chemistry? Considering my ridiculous G'raha fanmerch collection, yes. I found myself binging the entire expansion and finishing it the day before official launch. I was awestruck. Everything just scratched the itch right. Is it a perfect expansion? No, but it brought to the table so much that I was desperately lacking in FFXIV to get invested in the story to the depths that nearly competes with my love of Elder Scrolls.

I remember vividly laying in bed just smiling. That euphoria of having experienced a piece of media so enjoyable that you want more. You have to have more. It's that scratch many creatives in fandom know and is the backbone of our fannish society. I checked Ao3 and there was maybe 1 fic. Okay, fair, we were still in early release. So I read it, found myself still unsatisfied, but decided I'd simply play the game and goof off while I wait. 3 days in, only 1 more and I saw a pile of Emet fics instead. And this is not a bashing on Emet fans, y'all were on that sucker so fast like god bless the devil works hard but y'all work harder. But man if it didn't make my stomach sink. I'd fallen in love with characters before that next to no one cared about and not being heavily on social media at the time, I had a great fear Exarch just didn't sit right with most people are just wasn't as wonderful as I saw. Finally, a week in, I couldn't take it anymore. I realize now, looking back, people were trying to avoid putting out spoilers or were still just digesting the entire expansion. Meanwhile, here I am about to burst at the seams. And burst I did. The first story was for a friend. A silly second person POV subway AU spawned from an inside joke. I still cherish that story to this day as it was made in a moment of pure bliss following a conversation. Then, that bliss turned to anxiety and horror as I let it be public on Ao3. It didn't get much attention at the time and I still am not surprised, but that was a relief. Not too many eyes on me so I could just do whatever. "Whatever" was a feral release of Exarch fics in such rapid succession I've pondered to this day if I was possessed. I was filling a bit of a void in my life as well as in the fandom, but doing so creating was something I hadn't done in so long. It felt incredible. Looking back, it felt like I was in this little happy corner just writing away, finally not scolding myself or tearing down myself, but indulging. Just being. And bless my partner, I couldn't fucking shut up about the Exarch and I know for a while it did get on his nerves and was exhausting. But despite that, he recognized there was something growing in me that he had only seen glimmers of in our years together. It was him that pushed me to join an Exarch fan discord and to stop hiding myself away. Go meet people that are just as enamored as you. Go make those friends. I was terrified and scared that I'd regret diving in. In fact, I convinced myself I was only going to lurk which that sure didn't work out. Instead, what ended up happening was what was the final turning point towards something better. I met so many people I still talk to regularly (many still daily) who helped me find my voice, my courage, fostered my creativity, and encouraged me to keep making. I met so many other writers and artists! Soon, so many people were writing in the fandom it was hard to keep track of new stories. For a while, I was writing for them instead of myself and I don't regret that. I felt like I had found community again. And it's something that I desperately needed. Good and bad happened of course as is what happens with any fandom space. I lost some of those new friends as fast as I made them and some just weren't meant to hang around in my life. But those that are still here stand out as some of the strongest friendships I've ever had. I don't regret it one bit. I'd like to specifically blame my friend Gyoz for this (and you should totally go read her fics ) for the next stage of my FFXIV writing career which was the horny. I was so anxious to expose myself like that again in fandom space and go feral to the point I was incredibly self conscious about being judged. But she was there from the start telling me to not fucking bother worrying about that and to have fun. Be horny on main. Who cares if not everyone likes it? Just go for it. And as most here know, I did and didn't quite stop being horny on main LOL. That liberation led to more experimentation and finally led to Japhinne being born who truly has been a moon in my sky. Taking the step to let her be has opened so many doors for me that it would take another long ass post to explain, but know that she saved me. And I wouldn't have had her without shadowbringers or my friends. I went through so much shit after introducing her to the world (scary af surgery, falling outs, a lot of uncertainty with the future) but those around me and the need to write her stories were such huge factors in helping me pull myself up and not just settle to hurt alone. Saying goodbye to the Crystarium during 5.3 was distressing enough (...confession, I was so worried about Exarch's fate and how I couldn't let Japh continue in canon should he pass that I stayed up until 4AM my time to find datamined dialogue in Japanese confirming he had awaken on the Source. Once I knew, I fucking clocked out for 3 hours and immediately got to playing lol), but that final, for sure farewell upon the week before Endwalker...it was like saying goodbye to home. Things change, people come and go, stories continue. I still find myself wandering the Crystarium remembering how full it once was. Remembering the people gathering and meme-ing in shout chat while browsing the market board (cheers to the people arguing if Emet was a power bottom or not. I never got to see the end of that debate LMAO). Rushing to the Ocular to AFK, log out, or pester Exarch with his wind-up or his name. The music, the atmosphere, the everything. I have similar cherished memories from the other expansions and other zones (shout out to the BLUs self destructing around the Aetheryte in the Middy Eulmore to resummon Innocence sjfhksjdhks) but the Crystarium during 5.0-5.3 will forever be my dwelling in heart. I've gotten engaged since then, had multiple jobs and secured a steady one, have written and published over 200k of fic (with at least 50k more unpublished), and I look back and wonder where the fuck would I even be now without shadowbringers. So, if you made it to the end of this ramble, thanks for reading, and thank you shadowbringers for fucking existing.

Every Single Issue I Have With S*lki (It’s Not Just The Selfcest)

Here goes. I threatened to post this a few days ago and never did, but I just saw a s*lki stan Twitter account claim that Loki caring about Sylvie more than the whole multiverse was a Good And Romantic thing and it pushed me over the fucking edge, so now you all have to read this. I’ve divided it into categories cause there’s just THAT much.

OOC Bullshit

• First and foremost, no amount of mental gymnastics you do will ever make me believe that this specific Loki- the one that just invaded New York, that just came off a year of Thanos Torture, that just got done being influenced by the sceptre, that was literally in the middle of a crisis already, and then on top of that went through all the trauma of Ep 1- would even be worried about a romantic relationship. That would be the furthest thing from his mind. Go back and watch how he acted in Avengers- you think that guy would abandon his previous mission to become a snivelling simp for a girl he’d just met 3 days prior? Yeah, there’s no universe in which that makes sense.

• “It’s very in character for Loki to fall in love with himself lololol-“ NO, it’s literally not. Out of all the characters in the mcu, I don’t think I can think of anyone that genuinely hates themselves more than Loki. He even referred to all his other male variants as “monsters” and said meeting them was “a nightmare” in this series. He’s got so much self-loathing, plus the fact that he genuinely thinks himself to be an evil backstabbing scourge- so there’s no evidence at all suggesting that he would ever develop a fondness for, or even be inclined to trust, another version of himself, after only knowing them for 3 days.

• Building on that, the whole concept of Loki falling in love with a version of himself just feeds into the annoying ass misconception that he’s a narcissist. No matter which way you stack it, he’s not. If you’re referring to NPD, he doesn’t fit the criteria, and if you’re saying “narcissist” just as a slang term meaning “selfish and arrogant”, that still doesn’t accurately describe him. But when creators like Waldron and Herron do things like having him fall in love with himself, it makes it so much easier for casual viewers to think that he is.

Shitty LGBT Rep

• It’s kinda sus that Loki’s are allegedly genderfluid and yet the only female-presenting variant we see (and apparently the only female-presenting variant there is, cause the male Loki’s all seemed unfamiliar with the concept) is treated as some kind of mind-bogglingly special paradox. Also very sus that, out of all the Loki variants, the one our Loki falls in love with just so happens to be the only female one. What a coincidence.

• The fact that the creators of the show went around bragging about Loki’s bisexuality and Marvel purposefully (lbr) allowed stories about Loki possibly having a male love interest to circulate, specifically enticing queer viewers to watch the show (you know, the definition of queerbaiting), and then instead of having a male love interest (Loki was the first queer main character, so it was the perfect opportunity) they gave us *gestures to this dumpster fire* this… it’s just a middle finger to LGBT fans. The fact that they would rather have this relationship with all its myriad of problems than have a gay relationship is just……. Very telling.

• While him being with a woman obviously doesn’t refute his bisexuality, the fact that they showed/talked about him being interested in 3 different women (flight attendant, Sylvie, Sif) and never even hinted at him being attracted to a man, definitely makes it seem like they were trying to cover up his bisexuality to smooth things over with the more homophobic viewers. You know? It’s like “I know you’re pissed that we sorta confirmed Loki as bi, so we promise we’ll never mention it again! Or even hint at it! As a matter of fact, we’ll give him lots of female lovies and make him seem as straight as possible! That’ll take your mind off of that horrible crumb of queer rep, right? Please please please keep giving us your money!!!”

• Aside from all the other issues, at its core, the biggest reason why I think I’m so irritated with s*lki is that it took one of the most interesting, complex, and diverse characters in cinema atm and squished him into a tired ass unnecessary heteronormative subplot…. Like literally every. single. other. protagonist. ever. Loki is such a unique character, and it’s so so so incredibly disappointing that they stuck him into that same boring cookie cutter romance that happens to every other character in every other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a disservice, and it’s honestly just not compelling or entertaining at all.

Thematic Issues Galore

• His arc didn’t need a romance. With anyone. It was unnecessary and it didn’t make sense plot-wise. In fact, one of the reasons he was my fav prior to this was because he was the only big-name mcu character whose story wasn’t muddied-up by a romance that didn’t need to be there. So much for that.

• He wasn’t emotionally ready for a romantic relationship with anyone. Hell, just a genuine friendship would’ve been pushing it for him at this point. He was in such a bad state that any relationship he got into would’ve been toxic and unhealthy for both him and the other person, and it doesn’t make sense why the writers would want to put him in one when there were so many cons and essentially no pros (other than “Uwu aren’t they cute together”).

• Sylvie’s character in general was unnecessary and Loki’s character was robbed just by her being there. The whole show became about her post-Ep 2. They spent most of the time giving her backstory, building her up, telling us how awesome she is, trying to convince us to like her, etc when what they really needed to be doing was building Loki up- cause I gotta say, if I had to describe TVA!Loki in a few words, they would be Flat, Boring, and Weak.

• The romance overtakes the plot. They spend time portraying their supposed connection that could’ve been spent adding depth and complexity to literally any of the characters. They make the big Nexus Event them giving each other googly eyes on Lamentis when it could’ve been so many other way more profound things that speak to the fundamental nature of Loki’s. They have the climax of the finale be “oh no she betrayed him to kill He Who Remains” when it could’ve been something way more compelling (Loki having a moral crisis over whether or not to kill HWR, Loki contemplating the state of the multiverse and weighing the pros and cons of freedom vs order, Loki looking into some What If situations and getting emotional about what could’ve been regarding his family, Loki realising the gravity of HWR’s offer and finally coming to terms with how important he is to the universal cycle, etc etc). The entire plot suffered in favour of a romance that half of us didn’t even want.

• It essentially reduced all of Loki’s potential character growth down to “He did it for his crush.” He seemed to at least have some motivations of his own in Ep 1-2 (feeble as they were) but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, literally every action he took was just him being a simp for her. Why did he lie in the interrogation? To try to protect Sylvie. Why did he fight the minutemen and Timekeepers? To survive kinda, but mostly cause it was important to Sylvie. Why did he get pruned? Cause he got distracted trying to confess his crush to Sylvie. Why did he try to get out of The Void? Cause he thought Sylvie needed him. Why did he stay in The Void? Cause Sylvie was staying. Why did he try to enchant Alioth? Cause Sylvie told him to. Why did the multiverse get cracked open, leading to an infinite number of Kangs waging war on all of existence? Cause Loki didn’t wanna hurt Sylvie in their fight at the Citadel and then get distracted by her kissing him. It’s uninteresting and honestly pretty embarrassing.

• Throughout their “relationship arc” the writers do their absolute damndest to convince us that we should like Sylvie more than Loki. And you know what? It’s the most hypocritical shit I’ve ever seen. They preach and preach about how Sylvie’s life has been so difficult/we should feel bad for her/she had it so bad/poor poor sylvie/she had it SO much worse than pampered prince Loki…. But then they never even touch on any of Loki’s trauma of hardships (the ones that have been ignored for literally 3 movies now). They frame Sylvie as a good person and a Freedom Fighter after she spent literal decades/centuries mass-murdering brainwashed TVA agents and showing exactly zero remorse for it….. but then they make it their mission to constantly remind us that Loki is a terrible person and constantly put him in situations where he’s forced to acknowledge his wrongdoings/show remorse/admit to how “evil” he is for being a mass murderer for like 2 years. They show him on-screen having a wider range of powers than her, and perpetuate his whole shtick of being a “master manipulator” or whatever….. But then they make Sylvie “the brawn” more competent, intelligent, and physically capable than him. Tell me how it’s a good thing for a ship to be so narratively biased toward one character.

Missed Opportunities

• If they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, then they could’ve paired Loki with one of the characters that have already been established OR one of the characters that were a big part of the whole TVA storyline anyway. It would’ve been so interesting if they’d revealed that Loki had a history with some of the players from previous films (Sif and Fandral both come to mind). It also would’ve been really interesting if they’d given Loki a love interest that actually had some allegiance to the TVA as a whole (Mobius maybe, but not necessarily. It also could’ve been Renslayer or B-15). Hell, imo it would’ve been cool if they’d followed through with that “See you again someday” line that he said to the flight attendant in Ep 1. ALL of these characters have way more chemistry with him than Sylvie, and they were also already relevant to the plot without wasting half the show to give background info on them.

• If they absolutely had to have a hetero-presenting love story involving an enchantress-type figure, then there’s a whole Enchantress (Amora) that was actually Loki’s love interest in the comics. Plus, fans have been screaming for Amora to appear in the mcu for years. Plus, Tom literally pitched an Amora/Loki storyline way back in 2012-13. Also, Lorelei (another enchantress) is also one of Loki’s love interests in the comics, and she already exists in the mcu (she was on Agents of SHIELD). There were several different established characters for them to choose from. Creating a whole knew amalgamation of a character and going with the “she’s a Loki variant” storyline was just completely unnecessary and made no sense.

• They completely robbed us of a Chaos Twins dynamic. Had they handled Sylvie better and not forced her and Loki to smooch, the two of them could’ve had a really really complex and interesting sibling relationship. Loki could’ve stepped into Thor’s shoes and sort of used that new role to gain some self importance, and Sylvie could’ve finally had somebody to look out for her/teach her magic/be there for her. It would’ve been very aesthetically pleasing, the vibes would’ve been out of this world, it would’ve been way more profound than this bs, and frankly it would’ve been much more entertaining to watch.

• Loki’s relationship (read: obsession) with Sylvie completely overshadows all Loki’s other relationships in the show. Loki and Mobius were literally the focal point of the series in Ep 1-2, but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, they barely had any interactions with each other, and Mobius pretty much faded to the background entirely. Loki had the beginnings of a pretty interesting antagonistic relationship with Renslayer (with her wanting him pruned, then arguing with Mobius that he couldn’t be trusted), but after Sylvie showed up the dynamic shifted to focus on the history between her and Ravonna. Loki and B-15 started off very badly and openly disliked each other throughout Ep 1-2, and then in the end of Ep 2, Loki showed a little bit of concern for her when she was possessed, hinting that they might be inching toward a reconciliation- especially considering how obvious it was that Loki was gonna uncover the TVA’s sins eventually. There was so much potential for him to be the one to give her her memories back and convince her to change sides, but no, of course that honor went to Sylvie. In fact, after Sylvie showed up, Loki and B-15 never even spoke to each other again.

Various S*lki Fails

• If they were trying to convince us that this affection was mutual, they completely failed. There’s nothing I’ve seen that even hints at Sylvie feeling the same way about Loki that he does about her. At most, I’d say she has a slight endearment to him. She finds him likeable and she’s grudgingly fond of him, but she definitely isn’t in love with the guy. Maybe she thinks he’s cute and hopes that he gets out of this mess alright, but her mission obviously comes before him- whereas, it’s been confirmed multiple times that Loki cares about her above anything else. She doesn’t trust him, she looks at him like he’s an incompetent fool half the time, she shows little to no reaction during most of his confession moments, and she kissed him as a means to distract him so that she could get him out of her way. Look, all I’m saying is, when you get into a relationship where one of you is way more invested than the other, it never ends well.

• This goes without saying for a lot of us, but the selfcest is just straight up odd and cringey. If you’re cool with that sort of thing, fine! People can ship what they want! But don’t pretend it’s not at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yes, I know they’re not technically siblings so it’s not technically incest, and they’re also not technically the exact same person, but they’re similar enough that it makes things weird. And yes I know selfcest can’t happen in real life, so there’s no way to judge it morally, but neither can most of the other stuff that happens in these shows/movies (the Snap, Loki destroying jotunheim, superhero with powers being held accountable, mind control) and yet we still find ways to judge their morality, because they all mirror real-world events. (The snap= genocide; Loki destroying Jotunheim= bombing other countries; superhero accountability= weapons accountability; mind control= grooming and coercion). And lbr the closest real-world mirror to two versions of the same person (who may or may not share DNA, family, backgrounds, physical and emotion characteristics) being romantically involved with one another is incest. And you can be ok with that if you want- that’s your prerogative- but don’t get pissy just cause a lot of us are squicked out by it.

• The whole mirror metaphor (learning self love via each other) thing just fell completely flat. First of all, having Loki learn to love himself by looking at someone who mirrors him did not, in any way shape or form, require them to be romantically involved. But they were. Of course. Secondly, the creators have contradicted themselves so many times on whether Loki and Sylvie are the same or not, that it doesn’t even really register to the viewer that the mirroring thing was what they were going for. Finally, Loki and Sylvie are shown to have so little in common- and to have only the most bare minimum of similarities personality-wise- that it doesn’t even make sense that Loki would “learn to love himself through loving her”. Like? They’re nothing alike. So how would he make the connection that he himself is actually pretty cool, based on her alone? There’s virtually nothing in her that reflects him.

• I know the objective of the entire show was to convince us of how awesome and unique Sylvie is, but honestly her relationship with Loki just did the opposite. A hallmark of a Mary Sue is having her constantly upstage the male lead, and then having him instantly fall madly in love with her anyway. And that’s.. exactly what happened here. Everything they’re doing to try to force her character to be more stan-able is really just forcing her to look more like their self-insert OC. Which is exactly what she is. It would’ve been so much more satisfying if she didn’t have to try so hard to look cool, if they didn’t have to try so hard to make her backstory tear-inducing, if they didn’t have to turn our protagonist into a snivelling simp just to prove how incredible she supposedly is. Very much #GirlBoss energy and we all know how performative and cheap that is.

• The entire thing was too rushed, there was too little build-up, and it was nowhere near believable. As stated above, it’s ridiculously unlikely that Loki would canonically even be interested in Sylvie, and this show did nothing to explain why he was. He just suddenly was. There was nothing they showed us as viewers that would justify a guy as closed-off and preoccupied as Loki falling head-over-heels for a girl he just met. Their was no explanation, no big revelation, no reasoning, it just… kinda happened. And I’m also severely skeptical of any love story that has the characters go in this deep after only 3 45-minute episodes of exposition.

I’m sure there’s other stuff, so if anyone thinks of anything, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to add it. Tagging @janetsnakehole02 @raifenlf @natures-marvel and @brightredsunset800 for expressing interest. This is all your faults.

Bubble ♡︎ | Na Jaemin

Genre : Fluff humor

You’re subscribed to Jaemins bubble, excited just like every other fan to recieve his message for today until his new messages don’t seem like the others.....

-—————————————————————————

“What’s taking so long ?” You stared blankly at the LYSN* app while stretching your legs onto your leather couch.

You switched over to the Twitter app and scrolled through your timeline, briefly reading through whatever was the latest topic on nctzen Twitter. One tweet caught your attention which made you chuckle out loud

Nananotifs: “I’m pretty sure Haechan finally threw Jaemin’s phone out of the dorm window bc.......”

All Nanadoongies gathered on Twitter to complain about the absence of Jaemin especially since he was the only one who hadnt reposted Chenle’s beloved pup Daegal.

You sighed and switched back to the LYSN app and noticed you were able to send one more message to Jaemin before the app blocks you off until he sends a new message.

Y/n: nana I miss you please say something

JAEMIN: y/n did you eat today ? I’ve missed you!

Your eyes widened at the immediate message you received from your ult. Was is coincidental ? Ofcourse it was, they don’t get notifications from fan messages do they ?

You immediately switched over to Twitter already seeing the bubble update account sharing Jaemins new message along with the entire timeline screaming over his activity.

~boominana: “how dare he act so normal I’m gonna cry !!!!”

~jaeminjenos: “post a selfie Jaemin don’t be shy”

~dreamies023: “he’s probably busy guys let him post when he wants to”

The last account was right. Jaemin was probably so busy. It was nice that he still found time out of his schedule to message nctzens and that’s what you loved most about him.

Y/n: Jaemin you’re stressing everyone out on Twitter lol let us know you’re doing ok we love you !

JAEMIN: am I ? :/

Was it a delayed message ? You shook your head and decided it was probably just another glitch on the app.

Y/n: yes stop ghosting us !

JAEMIN: ghosting ? ㅋㅋㅋ so dramatic

You froze. There was absolutely no way that from the tons of messages he would be recieving right now that yours would be the one he read and responded to.

The interaction made your heart race and quickly switch over to Twitter, it was probably chaos right now wondering what Jaemins messages could mean.

Silence.

Everyone on the timeline moved on from Jaemins first message and there were no updates on the messages you had just received from him.

PING!

JAEMIN: y/n ~ are you not going to answer me ? How am I ghosting you :(

This could not be real. You felt a lump in your throat as you checked over your other bubble subscriptions which all seemed fine except for his. You had no idea how to feel or what to do.

Y/N: this is weird. Send me a selfie so I know you’re actually replying to me and not a bot -_-

About 15 minutes went by and you stared at the open chat. He had read your message but there was no reply.

“Humh it was a bot after all” you huffed, about to close the app when your phone pinged and you saw Jaemins name pop up.

A voice note.

“Hey y/n, I hope I’m saying your name correctly hehe So long story short I think the chat glitched and your name and profile pic added itself to my own bubble. Weird right ? Mark Hyung told me I should send a voice note because it will make you believe me a bit more and .....well we would know if you posted on Twitter which CANNOT happen hahaha you understand right ?”

What was happening right now.

You pinched yourself to make sure you didn’t accidentally fall asleep on the couch and start having a very eerie realistic dream.

JAEMIN: I know you’re shocked rn but I really enjoy reading your replies haha it was the best part of my day and well I couldn’t help myself today. I wanted to tease you lol

Y/N: wait so how long has this “glitch” happened for ?

JAEMIN: hmmm....about a month now I think...after you renewed your account I think hehe

Y/N: what ??? Omg I’m so embarrassed......

JAEMIN: there’s nothing to be embarrassed about trust me. I’ve read everything czennies have sent me haha I find it amusing.

You exhaled deeply and scrolled through some of the messages you have sent him during this month and thankfully none of them were cringeworthy.

Y/N: so...now what? Should I speak to app support and fix this....unsubscribe or something....

JAEMIN: LOL youre really funny. Imagine finding out you can speak to someone from your fav idol group and you want to call tech support ...LOL so funny Mark Hyung is laughing

You felt your cheeks heat up at the image of Na Jaemin and Mark Lee laughing at your messages.

JAEMIN: please don’t be embarrassed y/n ! I only did this bc well I have your profile now and you’re really cute.

This was NOT happening.

Y/N: Uh......

JAEMIN: what do you have a boyfriend ? ....

Y/N: no I don’t I’m just....it’s nothing never mind

JAEMIN: LOL so cute! So do you have Kakao ?

Y/N: you want my number ? Why ? .....

JAEMIN: to talk to you obviously! What if they fix the glitch and I’ll never be able to talk to you again..

Jaemin wanted to talk to you. He was trusting you wholeheartedly to add him on his private account. Did he have an idea of the kind of person you were ? How could he possibly risk his career to a nobody ?

Y/N: I do have kakao it’s YN_0023.... Jaemin I won’t say anything but are you sure this is okay ?

JAEMIN: yeah I’ll video call you and we can talk about it ...adding you now. Clear this chat after you get my text!

VIDEOCHAT ?

Is he absolutely insane ? Maybe the voice note was fabricated. Maybe this was some weirdo trying to prey on innocent fangirls. Maybe -

Nana00: heyyyyyyyyy :)

Y/n: hi Uhm is this ...Jaemin ...

Nana00: yup (inserts a pic with your username on a sheet of paper)

Y/n: holy shiiiiit

By now you were already pacing across your entire apartment trying to come to terms with what was going on in your life right now. It became a force of habit to constantly check Twitter and make sure by chance somebody mentioned a glitch of some sort or SM announcing that the app is under construction or SOMETHING.

‘This couldn’t be real’ you thought.

Nana00: lol you’re so funny so are you free to video call ?

Y/n: Uhm......are you sure that’s a good idea ?

Nana00: yeah I mean firstly I would like to know you’re real too lol and also I want to know if I can trust you with this information.....it’ll be quick I promise

Y/n: well....okay give me 10minutes please

Nana00: lol sure :)

After scrambling to your bathroom to make yourself a little presentable as if you just won a video call event for your ult, you finally set on a laidback look so it doesn’t look too obvious that you put a little effort in.

You decided to prop your phone on the mini tripod on your desk so the lighting from your bedroom window in front of you bounced off your skin perfectly.

Y/n: okay I’m ready. I’m a little shy so.....sorry if I can’t talk much...

Nana00: you don’t sound shy when you talk about me on bubble hehe ;)

You buried your face in your hands and groaned. The embarrassment was still eating at you and Jaemin was not letting you live those messages down.

Ring Ring Ring......

You saw your phone light up and Jaemins kakao profile picture fill your screen.

With a shaky finger you press the recieve button and watch as the pixelated video start to clear up, presenting a very smiley Na Jaemin.

“Hi there” he said in his high voice and a bright smile on his face. He seemed to be sitting at his desk as well, hair still wet from either a rainy day or a shower.

“Uhm hi” you replied shyly and waved awkwardly.

“So this is the face behind the bubble profile huh”

“I guess so” you replied. It seemed as though you were calm and collected but on the inside you were screaming. Screaming that you were conversing with one of your favourite people right now.

“Good! Sorry to ask this again but did you clear the chat on bubble ? We have to be careful with that” he said in a concerned voice.

“Yeah I did after you sent the pic I finally realized it was definitely you so I went ahead and did it” you quickly said, kinda embarrassed by how fast your words came out.

Jaemin chuckled.

“You still doubted me after the voice note?”

“Just a little”

“You’re so adorable it’s ridiculous you know that ?” He gleamed and neared the screen, his deep brown eyes focusing on yours “ where are you from y/n?”

“Well I live in a lot of places but my hometown is _______. I learnt most of my korean while studying here in Osaka weird enough” you shrugged.

You moved to Japan for your first year of university since it was where you sort of grew up as a kid and took up extra korean classes once settled in the city.

“Osaka ?? Wow I love Japan I can’t wait to go back! Well now I kinda have an excuse to go” he winked sending your heart into a frenzy.

You giggled shyly “is this the fan service everybody talks about ?

“Fan service is a job....this is different I’m sure you know that y/n haha”

“All of this because of my profile picture ?”

“Well” Jaemin bit down on his lip as his eyebrows turned into a frown

“I obviously saw your pic and thought you were very cute but a big part of it was your messages and how you would always message me when I most needed it.”

“My messages are very random” you chuckled.

“Still made me smile throughout my day and that means a lot” he said and ran his fingers through his hair “so it’s kinda selfish of me to say, but id like for you to update me...personally”

“Na Jaemin are you asking me to be your own personal bubble account ?” You raised your eyebrow.

“Yeah pretty much” he shrugged “I’ll repay the subscription when I see you Osaka.”

I was having a conversation with someone about spn recently. I was saying how it was compelling to me how Cas was basically the only one to embrace free will and escape the narrative, and he did this because he loved Dean. And because of that, Cas invented free will. His choosing Dean over heaven is the variable that made this reality different from every other reality, right?

The person I was talking to agreed that Cas embraced free will, but she also argued that Sam and Dean also embraced free will because they refused to kill each other the way other versions of themselves did.

So my point is that: Only Cas's love for Dean invented free will, and that's what allowed Sam and Dean to break free of the narrative.

Her point was: Sam, Dean, and Cas all simultaneously embraced free will, and thus broke free of the narrative together.

I prefer my interpretation because of Destiel/queer-love-defying-god-and-saving-the-universe reasons (my god why does this stupid show have to be so compelling???). But I'm also wondering what you think. I'm kind of looking for textual validation for MY interpretation, and I'm curious if you know of any off that top of your head.

No worries if not, I was just curious about it. You're my fav meta writer, and thanks for all you do ☺️

Hi there! I'm flattered that you've enjoyed anything I've written here! I appreciate that! But unfortunately I agree with your friend. Or... mostly...

The show has been about free will for years. Cas's arc in it was his personal coming to truly understand and embrace free will for himself. To understand all the lessons about free will that he literally learned from Dean.

"Just because you can do what you want doesn't mean you can do whatever you want," and all that.

Other angels did start down that road. Anna, specifically, chose to be born human to experience humanity and free will for herself, and then was dragged back. Balthazar took the whole free will thing to the sorts of extremes that Cas did in s6 (doing whatever he wanted, because nothing mattered in the end). It was the same sort of nihilism that plagued AU!Michael after "following all God's orders perfectly" and bringing about their apocalypse as ordered/destined by God, and then didn't come with the expected "reward" of God's return to their world.

This was Cas's primary struggle in s4, where he fought against his own essential programming, and against the belief that he was effectively created to follow God's orders, to obey Heaven's commands. We know he had crises of conscience before, in the past, thanks to Naomi's confirmation that Cas was present at other objectionable events carried out by angels in the past (killing the firstborns of Egypt, for example) that were wiped from his memory because they were leading him to question authority or doubt their orders. The difference in *THIS* universe, though, was that *this* Cas had Dean.

Dean didn't exist in the Apocalypse AU. That Cas may have had some similar objections, and from his behavior (the eye twitch, etc.) there is definitely a potential read there that Cas himself had tried to object enough, and had been "reprogrammed" enough to have finally completely broken him.

I've written about how some angels are "specialists," a term first used to describe Uriel and his city-leveling abilities. We know Zachariah (even the AU version of him) had the special power to implant visions directly into people's brains. And that Cas's "special power" was that he could "strip memories" out of people's minds. What a HORRIBLE power. But also, very much what Naomi's brain reprogramming torture hat was supposed to do, yes?

Ironic that Cas was the one that reprogramming hat didn't completely work on.

But the difference for Cas wasn't that he "escaped the narrative," because in the end he did not at all. In the end because of the love for Dean that he understood through his own free will, he chose to die so that Dean could live. Which... is effectively exactly what Chuck wanted for Cas in the narrative. He wanted him gone. Cas ultimately gave in to Chuck's narrative first of TFW.

He made the choice for himself, but Chuck's narrative was always one step ahead of all of them right to the end. It was a choice he should never have had to make. "Either we both die right here and Chuck wins, or I save Dean by sacrificing myself so he can go on without me to stop Chuck." That was what his final act boiled down to.

Once Chuck was defeated, this was obviously the very first act we all assumed Jack would undertake to undo that sacrifice. Which makes me believe that Chuck actually won... but that's a rant for another post (and a goodly number of posts I've already made lol).

But humanity was created WITH FREE WILL! Angels were not. So... I'd offer that Cas was the first angel to successfully understand free will and apply it to himself. He was also the first angel to inhabit his own body (not a vessel after 5.01), the first to have been made human within that body, and the first to experience life as a human while retaining all his memories of his entire existence before becoming human. He fully understood humanity, and said "yeah I like this better."

All these themes of humanity, love, and free will were wrapped up in his entire story arc, and I personally feel like it takes something important away from his story to suggest that he was the ONLY character with free will, when he only learned free will for himself BECAUSE of Dean and his love for Dean. Which is what Cas actually said in his confession.

"You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.

I refuse to take that away from them.

Favorite and Least Favorite Ghidorah Incarnations

Probably gonna regret making this post, but it’s been a long time coming, so let’s do it. I guess I should warn, not suitable for people sensitive to opinions that might be different from their own. Can’t believe I have to say that about a list of fav Ghidorahs, but alas...

Anyway, enjoy!

-

Let’s start with my Top 5 favorite Ghidorahs! Going from my most favorite down! All five of these are amazing and any one can easily become my #1 at any given time! :D But at the moment, my number 1 is...

Showa Ghidorah

Showa Ghidorah should come to nobody’s surprise, given how much I’ve been writing about him lately! I admit though, it wasn’t always like this. It took some time for him to grow on me, and he actually used to be one of my least favorite through design alone. But he has grown exponentially on me, and now I love everything about him! The manes are unique and I love the crescent moons on his heads too. His eyes are so big, and I feel they have more expression compared to other Ghidorahs. And the inspiration of the more traditional Eastern-style dragon is there in his face too. 

His backstory and personality, though, is what really got me to change my mind about the character. His personality is perfect as far as I’m concerned! Coming from space to destroy planets just for the lolz, cackling maniacally all the way! Even the fact he was mind-controlled was something for me to delve into in my stories, on how such a thing impacts the character. It really opened my eyes to the more subtle parts to his personality, like I realize that Ghiddy wants NOTHING to do with Earth. He tried to destroy it once and that failure is all he needed to know to stay away. The plot device of mind-control is used to keep him coming back in future movies! Even when he defeated Godzilla and Rodan, he chose to fly away back into space! There’s layers to his character if you look deep enough!

There’s just so much story-potential to this guy, I love it! Even in real life, he has an arc, going from one of my least favorites to being the top of this list! That’s definitely special!

Overall, a lot of love for this character, often wrestling with Legendary for the number 1 spot! Speaking of which...

Legendary Ghidorah

The one that started it all for me and they’re second on the list?! Blasphemy!! Nah, seriously though, Showa and Legendary really do often switch places for me all the time! Just right now, Showa has squeezed into the top spot. For now........

Anyway, Legendary Ghidorah needs no explanation for being a favorite incarnation of the character. Whilst Godzilla has always been a very vague presence in my life, KotM’s is what had me diving headfirst into the fandom, all because of Ghidorah. Their design is amazing, sleek and intimidating! The detail that they whip up storms just by flying creates an awesome menacing atmosphere everytime they’re on screen!

The personalities between the heads is unique, providing all sorts of material for my writer side to explore! Their backstory is left open for me to explore as well, like where they came from and how their species functions! It’s been a lot of fun! I may be slightly burnt out from how much I’ve written and posted about them, but make no mistake, I still ADORE this Ghidorah and I have them to thank for starting this whole page in the first place! 

Shin Ghidorah

That’s right, Shin Ghidorah exists in official TOHO canon and he needs more love!!

Shin Ghidorah was one I was introduced to not long after I learned Kamata-kun (oh, and Shin Godzilla) was a thing. With my obsession with Ghidorah, I wanted to know if there was a Ghidorah in the Shin universe and after some digging, I found that there was! Featured in a ride in Universal Studios Japan! And better yet, videos of it exists on youtube! I loved it the second I saw it! 

The design is amazing and surprisingly unique! This is because Shin Ghidorah was originally a scrapped concept for the original Showa Ghidorah! Like, Shin Ghidorah is basically an oversized three-headed Skullcrawler with wings! Because you see those “legs” he has? Those are actually ARMS!! Ghidorah could’ve been a giant Skullcrawler all this time!!

I also love his movements, oddly enough. He doesn’t just fly, he SWIMS though the air, something I don’t recall seeing in any other Ghidorah!

The only thing I don’t like about him... is the fact that he wasn’t around longer! A shame the ride is so short, I would’ve LOVED to see more of him in a movie. Oh well...

Grand/Cretaceous Ghidorah

Both are the same individual, so they’re both in this entry! I remember learning about him through a video talking about Ghidorah’s most sadistic moment and this was it. Grand Ghidorah kidnaps children with the sole intent to devour them, but he doesnt eat them right away, no. He holds them hostage to stew in their terror, returning to them every so often just to listen to their screams and cries. You know he’s enjoying every minute, knowing he’s torn families apart. Without a doubt, all this is just a game before he destroys the world as Ghiddys do. The way he toyed with Mothra Leo, leaving him to suffer after beating him to near-death. Or the way he possessed one of the Mothra twins to try to kill her own sister! It was great! He has such a regal design too! I can see why the fanbase have come to call him Grand King Ghidorah, he’s absolutely majestic. Shame he’s overshadowed, likely due to not being in a Godzilla movie.

Cretaceous Ghidorah has a more Western-dragon look to him and it works. He is basically a baby Ghidorah and he is so cute! His big eyes and squeaky roars, I love it! He also SOMEHOW made me feel sorry for my least favorite dinosaur! That's some true power right there!

The regeneration ability too, is amazing! This is likely where Legendary got the idea, but Grand does it better by regenning from just a small piece of tail left behind. Just badass, all around!

Void Ghidorah

A controversial pick, I know. I made a whole post about my detailed thoughts on Void Ghidorah, see here. Long story short: I think he has great potential, just suffered from piss poor execution. I love the idea of turning this alien dragon into an interdimensional GOD, with followers and everything. His full-body model looks amazing! He’s the biggest and most powerful Ghidorah yet, the biggest kaiju in the entire franchise in fact, and I don’t see him ever being topped. Granted, I dun really judge how much I like a kaiju based on how strong they are, but it’s a bonus here. He needs all the help he can get!

Adding more, his roars are insane, not just a combination of Showa and Heisei Ghidorah! But sounds that are truly otherworldly.

Void Ghidorah deserves love, and a better movie. Guess I’ll just settle on Godzilla: Star-eating Wings as the go-to Void Ghidorah video!

-

I have no real opinion on the new ride Ghidorah, as I have yet to watch the full "movie” and thus, can’t judge how well I’ll like it compared to the others. So for now, tis neutral.

-

Now I’m totally going to get hate for this list of “least favorite Ghidorahs”, but this is my opinion. I don’t like any of them, and they’re all outshined by my favorite non-Ghidorah kaijus, and some even being beaten by my “meh” kaijus! Anyway, this is gonna go from “best” least favorite to my “worst” least favorite. Here goes:

Heisei/Mecha-Ghidorah

Tis no secret that I don’t particularly like Heisei’s version of the character. I’ve mentioned it more than enough. Oddly though, I liked the design when I first looked through Ghidorahs from past movies, and I DISLIKED Showa Ghidorah’s design. How things have changed when I learned more about both of them... 

Now I’ve grown to not like Heisei very much. They took Ghidorah as an alien dragon that destroys planets for fun, and turned him into pets that I’m sure are meant to be cute, but just remind me of Furby’s in how creepy they are (tis not the good kind of creepy either!). I like the scrapped idea of him being an attempt to clone Showa Ghidorah from DNA left behind when he destroyed Venus, so I keep that canon in my head just for some attempt to like him more. Tis why I call him “Kitty Ghiddy” whenever I write him, I legit cannot take him seriously. Such a shame that he’s basically replaced Showa Ghiddy on merchandise, so it’s harder for me to find said Showa Ghiddy because of this thing. Oh, well.

Oh, and he replaced the BIDIBIDI of Showa with generic Rodan calls. And he also turns into a good guy at the end of the movie with Mecha-Ghidorah, and.... well, go down to the next entry for my thoughts on stuff like that.

GMK Ghidorah

He’s a good guy here. They nerfed the fuck out of him by having him be a juvenile (not even done well like Cretaceous Ghidorah), and turned him into a good guy. Granted, he was never meant to be in this movie in the first place and it shows. I’m a villain kind of person, and Ghidorah’s evilness is one of the biggest draws to his character for me. So taking that away... It just doesn’t work for me. It says something when I like GODZILLA more than Ghidorah in a movie. His design is okay, so at least he has that going. But...

Desghidorah

I really don’t like the design of the character. That’s literally it. I think four-legged Ghidorahs are very awkward looking; Ghidorah has a lot going on as is, three heads, two wings, two legs, two tails. Adding more legs... it’s just too much going on that tips the scales from ‘awesome’ to ‘messy’ in my mind. I can’t explain too well why I really don’t like the four-legged look to Ghidorahs, I just really don’t. But credit, he does pull off the look slightly better than the last one on my list.

AND MY LEAST FAVORITE GHIDORAH AND LIKELY TO GET A MOB ON ME IS.....

Keizer Ghidorah/Monster X

“An awkward horse” is what someone described him to me as, and I can’t help but agree. Again, that four-legged look breaks it for me but somehow, he looks EVEN MORE awkward than Des. I just can’t look passed it. Maybe it’s the front legs, or the wings looking too small for his body. Des just LOOKS a bit more natural in his four-legged-ness. 

Making it worse for me, Keizer has a second form that I REALLY don’t like: Monster X. They don’t even resemble each other. I can’t help but feel MX was supposed to be his own Kaiju, but they felt pressured to make Ghidorah the final boss so they combined them. Dunno if that’s the case, but it feels like that to me. Not even getting into the “how the hell does a dragon come out of THAT, where does it all GO when he changes back?”. And the biggest thing: I don’t like human-looking characters. I don’t care for human characters at all in any sort of media, or anything that resembles humans too closely. I skip human scenes entirely just to get to the monsters. Tis why I don’t really care for gijinkas either. As far as I’m concerned, I like the kaiju for being kaiju, and making them human just takes away all things interesting.

If Ghidorah kept everything intact about his personality, but you made him human... I wouldn’t even give his character a second glance, much less devote my Tumblr page to him! But yeah, tangent over. Monster X just looks too human for my tastes. 

Plus, tis hard to compete for my attention when you’re in the same movie as FW Gigan! It says something when Showa Gigan and Showa Ghidorah can share the screen and I love them both, but FW Gigan completely outshines FW Ghidorah...

-

So there we go, a complete list of my thoughts for every Ghidorah incarnation that I can think of. Hopefully I didn’t miss any. Again, these are my opinions and you’re free to like whatever Ghidorah. I’mma sleep now.

Fanfiction Year in Review - 2020 by sagansjagger

Fanfiction Year in Review - 2020 by sagansjagger

Image credit,

Whoo, I love me some tumblr ask games! Thanks for the tag, @ladyofthenoodle!

1 List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

I am so sorry about this, but I'm just going to link my entire profile because I started writing MLB fic in April 2020 and ended up with 72 fics. If I listed and linked them all, I'd be here all day.

My works (ao3 link)

I suppose what I could do is list out statistics.

As of January 2nd, 2021, I have to my name:

72 total fics - 4 long fics, 1 drabble series, 67 one shots

7 series - Domestic Cavities (married life fluff), Sex Education: Kwami Style, She Was Certainly the Spark for All I've Done (Crash universe), Kiss the Viper (Vipermouse), CYOA: Life is What You Bake It (Choose Your Own Adventure stories), It’s the End of the World as We Know It (Chat Blanc), Bad Dad’s Club (Adult XY & Adrien friendship

16 gen, 12 Lukanette, 6 DJWifi, 4 Riceflour (Tom and Sabine), 3 Adrigami, and 47 Lovesquare. If the math doesn't add up in this it's because sometimes these are background pairings.

2 Number of words written:

463,044! 

3 Your most popular fic:

Definitely Welcome to the Scene of the Crash, my first fic in the fandom and the birth of the Spark series. This is a 63k monster that I wrote in six days, focusing on the effects of starvation on the body and mind. Crash has two sequels, And He’s Gotta be Fresh from the Fight and Into Your Heart, I’ll Beat Again, both of which are complete.  

4 Your personal fav:

Tough choice... I’d probably have to say Crash because it’s my baby. As I’ve said before, I woke up at 4:30am with a song in my head (Take Me to the Hospital by the Prodigy) and the first line: “Adrien was starving.” Crash is what started me writing for the fandom and how I made almost all my new friends here.

Image credit.

5 Your fav scene:

Oh, this is hard. I’ve actually written so much that I don’t recall all the scenes I’ve written? But I can say that I was so ready to write the last chapter of Heart. It’s tooth-rotting Christmas fluff that was Adrien and Marinette’s happy ending after 260k+ words of angst. That scene isn’t my favorite scene by far, but it was one of the most satisfying to write.

6 A fic or scene that challenged you:

Definitely Couffaine Coffee Conundrum, a Lukanette & Adrigami piece. My server anniversary giftee, Rikka, requested a fluffy double date with the pairings, but all my brain wanted to do was make it angsty. I had to write the fic twice.

7 A line of writing you’re proud of:

This is from my as of yet unpublished Sleeping Beauty AU (publication date: February 1st, 2021!). I’m proud of this line in particular because I don’t often write lines that are just... pretty. I nail body language, but most of my writing is straightforward and if not ugly, certainly not beautiful. 

Anyway, here’s the line:

Winter passed with one last, lingering gasp, the bony fingers of cold clinging to the days.

Image credit.

8 A comment that touched you:

I’ve gotten several comments that have touched me, but the most recent one was from a reader of Fight. They told me they liked my use of therapy in the fic and that they were considering getting therapy because they could see how much therapy had helped Adrien.

Another comment along the same lines was someone who realized that they’d been starving after reading the symptoms of starvation Adrien experienced in Crash. Being able to educate someone while entertaining them blows my mind.

9 Something that inspired your writing:

Definitely the good people on the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server, specifically @ladyofthenoodle​, @sseagully​, Rikka, and Sibby. I’ve developed so many stories because of those lovely ladies, and have received so much support and encouragement from the members of the server. One of my most popular recent fics, have the stars blotted out in a brilliant Morse code, started based on a discussion in the #writing-chat on that server, and @theladylu​ even drew some lovely fanart for it (featured below).

10 Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

Definitely finishing Heart. That happy ending was a long time in coming.

11. Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

Yes! I want to finish the second Choose Your Own Adventure story, a pre-reveal, post-relationship Adrienette fic focused on baking pies with Tom and Sabine. I also want to finish the Sleeping Beauty AU, which I’m on track for. Desperation would be a great fic to finish; I started that one, got to chapter 5, and quit because it was too sad, haha! And I’m working on an original work that started out as an Adrienette Witch AU titled Must Be the Season of the Witch that I’d like to finish sometime in the next six months.

Tagging @itsagrestebug​, @purpleflower04​, @torilovesmiraculous​, and @sseagully!

Started revisiting some of the older Voltage classics and naturally my number 1 would be my favourite charming princes from BMP.

So I started playing the Gree version of BMP many years ago before migrating to BMP Party and then subsequently just buying ALL the stories from the Volatge App. Thank goodness I logged in just in time back then when Voltage was migrating to the consolidated Love 365 app otherwise I would have lost all my paid stories from BMP and BMP 2.

FYI: yes I lost my stories on a few other apps and it was a very difficult debate with myself on whether I wanted to re-purchase again on the Love 365 app. verdict: I re-purchased some and gave up on some — can’t have everything in life right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So coming back, my most favourite characters used to be the princes from Dres Van Kingdom. I really love both Joshua and Sieg, their awkward, shy but so endearing personalities and of course their adorably cute fear of cats dawwwwww so cute \(//∇//)\

Next would be the characters from Oriens Kingdom. I like the storyline of how Glenn and Kuon both knew the MC already and how they found love in their own ways even though they were younger than the MC. It’s really a cute classic love story ( ´ ▽ ` )

I slowly became a fan of all the butlers, especially Zain and was really glad Voltage gave him his own story on both the app and the party version. But let’s talk about the butlers another time because I want to talk about a very underrated kingdom and prince in the entire BMP universe.

And if you’ve been a BMP follower like me, you’ll know who I’m talking about. Yes that’s right. It’s Sanct Sybil Kingdom and Prince Yakov Chernenkov. This prince is my ULTIMATE FAVOURITE and I am extremely upset that there is literally only ONE story on him like why are you doing this to us Voltage?!?!!! ( ´Д`)y━･~~ I mean I love Ivan too but Yakov just seems more manly and this is not an exaggeration, his storyline is my number 1 fav from the BMP universe. You really have to read it to believe it (I was skeptical at first too because how can there be only 1 story of a character right?! Not even a special story but his looks totally had me sold - SO HANDSOME omg and I’m not regretting spending coins on this hottie) I always go back to Yakov whenever I have a bad day at work or just feeling downright miserable with life. His storyline is just so heartwarming and more realistic? Like he’s not the typical spoilt prince who grew up with a silver spoon. He’s been faced with so many hardships and he legit knows how to fight and basically be a man \(//∇//)\

I’m resting my chin in my hands and sighing to myself looking at you Yakov. You’re so much more a prince than the rest of the princes (call me bias)

And like I really wanted so much more of Yakov that I actually bought this special story from BMP 2 (which honestly wasn’t fantastic but hey, it was only 100 coins from the sale so okay. For Yakov I will spend) Just looking at his blushing expression is enough to get my heart pounding oh you precious one (//∇//) You’re totally my type too Yakov! Go ahead and sweep me away!! I’m all yours!!!! (〃ω〃)

So anyway this was a crossover story for the princes of Sanct Sybil whereby Yakov apparently went forward in time to Ivan’s era. Okay I must say they both look really charming and gorgeous but that braid. Yes, I’m sure it’s Yakov’s braid that got me sold. Ivan just looks like any other normal prince (no offence) I mean I loved Ivan’s story too, mainly because I really wanted more of Sanct Sybil, but I didn’t like that he had to die and come back to life like bruh. That’s like the main prince disappearing from his own story? Doesn’t bode well with me. But at least there’s like an epilogue and sequel which made me feel a little better but I’m still really bitter that Yakov only has ONE STORY like come on Voltage. WHY. Can we please have a comeback campaign and more stories for Yakov?!?!?!! (＞人＜;)

So everyone, please take a moment to look at this gorgeousness if you haven’t and fall in love with him too. Maybe then Voltage might actually do a comeback if he has enough fans (prolly in 20-never but hey, a girl can dream). And I’m going to read his story again now so that he can appear in my dreams tonight (๑>◡<๑)

Don’t just unify Sanct Sybil Yakov. You can unify with me too hehehe (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

i wish thomas had gone à la gay discothèque earlier in the series... imagine s1 thomas doing the grizzly bear WITH A BIG BEEFY BEAR 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I love when people send me asks like this. God. Thank u anon; ur wonderful; I vibe w/ u, but I did the thing I do where I take concepts way too seriously so here’s some rambling

Would Thomas be into bears? What’s Thomas’s type. I feel like s1 Thomas in a working-middle class gay bar would be a very different experience than the one he has in 1927. I think he had too big of a head perhaps? Especially if this is like, pres1...he’s definitely lonely as fuck then, but he’s not in the depression that I think realistically (if we’re viewing the characters as people, which I tend to do) Thomas is still battling by the time of the film

in the 1910s he’s aiming pretty high as far as lovers are concerned & while we know he had ~Friends And Accomplices~~ outside of Downton right up until like the end of s2 (big sad. the word of God reasoning for everything there on As We Know is that he needed to be stuck at Downton because he was an audience fav but that has Implications for what happens in universe to like, his entire social circle/his connections...) I can see him hitting some roadblocks there? for one thing I think he has a bit of a I’m The Right Kind Of Queer complex in addition to his entire.... class-based.... ideology & processing of the hierarchy he lives in, frankly I don’t think he’d even necessarily have close relationships w/ servants who served Undistinguished Families? And being a servant of a great house puts you in a weird position as far as the broader working community is concerned because on the one hand. you’re a servant. so you’re on the bottom rung of the ladder. On the other hand you’re a servant to the Earl of Grantham and you’re a footman so like 50% of your job is looking nice & you don’t have to get your hands dirty the way, say, a carriage builder might.... but the carriage builder doesn’t spend his entire day saying “yes milord” either so like. Dynamics. This to say I don’t think he’d feel a lot of solidarity necessarily with other working people in a concrete let’s-break-bread-and-dance-together sense, although by the end of s2 he’s met a lot of people and done a lot of things and this has obviously changed him greatly and he really starts to express himself in more concrete ways politically than, being well read and up to date and wanting to have any semblance of a voice in his life/how things are done.

So I think s1 Thomas would consider himself too good to go to a gay bar as we see one in the film. Basically. I do not doubt for a second that Thomas got to be arm candy in very different kinds of gay establishments in like, 1910-1914. 

This is actually one of my Things with the movie dialogue - places as shown were extremely rare & like, did not exist anywhere near Downton. Like to my recollection/my impression is they based it off of certain parts of the 1920s-1950s gay scene in London, and even then they took some liberties by having middle class and working class men in such close quarters as they were. It is completely reasonable that Thomas could have at times in his life frequented queer hangout spots that did not look ~~~anything like~ the one in the film. It is also completely reasonable that he didn’t, because the gay community in this time period did not orbit the local gay bar as was often the case in communities in the UK & North America later in the century when raiding calmed down. 

And the next step from there is that he’s never had a Let’s Sit Down And Talk About Our Gay Selves moment with anybody possibly at all, and likely not with anyone who is in a position equivalent to his (especially post war when the number of men in service was going down): gay, servant, working class.* I think also he’s probably seeing Richard as like, not only those things are true, not only do they have similar work experiences and class backgrounds, but in his point of view Richard may also be the same kind of gay man as him, specifically, not just “a gay man” because like, no shit Thomas has met gay men, and for Thomas, who puts a lot of stock in what others think of him and how he comes off wrt his masculinity, I think that’s probably very important? I think he knows that the people around him have a certain idea of what gay men are like, and he doesn’t want to fit that idea, but he also wants to exist as himself and connect with people... but he’s not really given that opportunity. But Random Lady’s Maid #14 is not going to take one look at Mr Ellis and clock him as gay, and I think that is perhaps part of what is going on.

Anyway the thing I was getting at was I think 1914-1916 Thomas would be much more likely to be found in a gay bar à la what we get in the movie, and also, multiple historical accounts of soldiers dancing together just because there weren’t women around, so if someone really wanted they could probably come up with a canon compliant idea there! Or they could just not be canon compliant it’s fandom it is what it is.

* He’s definitely met gay servants before but I think before the war especially he would not be gunning for a deeply personal conversation about his life/sexuality/experiences which I think is what is happening in that scene in the film... “just talked”... making a gay friend and vibing on that very specific level vis à vis just knowing someone gay and when the families you work for are in the same place you lookout for each other while you’re giving the earl of whoever the fuck a blowjob. 

Tagged by: the lovely @esther-dot 🌻

Tagging: @sonderlust45 @sansaravenclaw @chocolateghost @woodswit + anyone who fancies a go!

Ao3 name: Charmtion.

Fandoms: ASOIAF/GoT + a dabble into the Punisher universe over on my pseud! 🐺💀

Number of fics: 55.

1. Fic you spent the most time on: Extra Credit. Posted it all within the space of about a month, but this fic (and the entire Querencia universe) took up my days, man! I was thinking it up constantly. For a long time. Tweaking it. My first proper modern au. Will always feel very special to me because of that. Plus! Professor Snow?? Need I say more?!

2. Fic you spent the least time on: Wolfsong. My third ever Jonsa fic  — and the first I’d written with a smutty smoky edge. Just a short little one-shot under a 1,000 words. Flowed right from my fingertips.

3. Longest fic: Flowers of Autumn [103,010 words]. Long before Jonsa took hold of me, I was (and still am) a Ned Stark fangirl through and through. This fic was the second in an au series where Ned isn’t quite honour incarnate — and therefore not as prone to fits of mercy-madness that saw him killed in-canon i.e. he has a badass (OC) lover called Nell don’t @ me she was my heart when I was writing this and still is.

4. Shortest fic: We are Lost, Together [800 words]. My very first Jonsa fic, aaaaah the beginning of it all... 

5. Most hits: Wild is the Wind [16,429 hits]. My first multi-chapter Jonsa fic. There’s an air to this work that I still love despite its imperfections  — probably because on a personal level at least, I can see and feel myself getting so much more familiar and comfortable in how to handle these characters and write them in a way that works for me.

6. Most kudos: Wild is the Wind [637 kudos]. Hey — it’s a big number for me! + I adore every single person that took the time to leave a little heart there, thank u honeys. 🥰

7. Most comment threads: Shelter As We Go [232 threads]. More on this below 👇

8. Fav fic you wrote: oh hi again Shelter As We Go 👋 This story is in my bones. Always, forever. It is so different to anything I’ve ever plotted or planned before; I genuinely feel as much on a journey writing it as the lovely people that read it.  Especially in times like these, I’m grateful to have a world to get lost in  — the SAWG verse is exactly that. As a lovely, lovely reader has so beautifully put it: this story is like having a warm cup of my favourite tea during a cold winter day – there’s nothing quite like it… for one that spoke to my frosty English heart on a spiritual level ☕🇬🇧 and also it’s just everything I ever hoped this fic would be: a safe, warm place where Sansa grows into herself: a fierce, fire-haired goddess ready to take back Winterfell with her wildling lover at her side, yaaas queen!

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand upon: Querencia universe always! No rewrites  — just additions. Professor Snow and Sansa fucking Stark. My dream-team always. I’ve lots planned for them!

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story-idea that you’re planning: Next chapter of Shelter As We Go. Grappling with plot-points a little at the moment, and trying to pinpoint exactly when I want to end up where if that makes sense. But it’s coming along. Dreams. Tormund being the best boi as always. Jonsa forehead kisses for life. Moving south toward the Wall  — and all the beasts and bastards who lurk behind it… aaaah! Till then, here’s a little excerpt:

Leans low. Chases his fingertip, his thumb away from her brow. Sets his lips there instead: the gentlest touch of his mouth to her skin before he presses his brow lightly to her own. Closes his eyes. Breathes her in. Feels her stir.

“Quiet now,” he rumbles. “I’m here.”

— that’s me done! I liked this. It was fun. I do enjoy a good ramble as is plain to see... always happy to chat/answer asks if ever the passing fancy takes you! Okay! I will stop now. Take care. Eat well. Focus on the tiny joys. Be kind. Love + light to you all. ❤️✨

can you do a rundown/review of every song on folklore like you've done for selena? and what your current top 5 are??

considering this is officially one of my top 3 favourite albums ever i’m v happy to 😌! warning, absolutely every single song will be ranked 10/10

thank for wanting to know my thoughts :( i can’t believe anybody would volunteer to read this JDNSKSDJKDS

first of all, my top 5 is probbbbably gonna change (maybe not tho bc my lover top 5 hasn’t really changed a lot), but for now, i think it’s: august > seven > mad woman > illicit affairs > mirrorball

THE 1:

ngl my very first thought was that it reminded me of same love by macklemore skdjdskjdskjsd but not in a bad way!

literally some of the prettiest lyrics, i knew just from this song that this would top red as her best lyrically (best album in general)

honestly just rly sad and sweet and one of those songs that has such a universal sound i feel?

also the simplest song of the album lyrically (also not in a bad way, just like objectively this is the easiest subject matter on the album with the least opaque lyrics), so a really good opener

best lyrics: “we never painted by the numbers baby but we were making it count/you know the greatest loves of all time are over now” and “we were something don’t you think so/roaring twenties tossing pennies in the pool/and it my wishes came true it would’ve been you”

a cute girl, 10/10

CARDIGAN:

i was surprised by the darkish sound of this one

idk what that like clanking sound in the background is but i find it a lil distracting in the first half of the song - but if i ever find out what it is and it has some symbolic meaning/purpose for being there (i assume it does) i’ll accept it sdjknsd

i love the nostalgia that is so present in like almost every song on this album :(

also the music video is stunning and frames the entire album in the most interesting way, metaphor-wise

best lyrics: “i knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss/knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs/the smell of smoke would hang around this long/cause i knew everything when i was young/i knew i’d curse you for the longest time/chasin’ shadows in the grocery line/i knew you’d miss me when the thrill expired/and you’d be standing in my front porch light/and i knew you’d come back to me”

10/10

THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY:

love this one bc it’s like a nice lil exhale in an album filled with angst, like it’s cute and boppy without being aggressive

i’m suddenly absolutely obsessed with rebekah harkness, particularly the “bitch pack” thing and her dyeing someone’s dog green

i love taylor’s storytelling and i love how that’s always been a big part of her approach to songwriting. this is taylor at her best narration, like starlight but so much better. this is a type of songwriting that is so underused these days, esp by mainstream artists and i love so much that she has always used it and been so invested in it

the pronoun change made me screech. sooo goooood

taylor’s obv a deeply autobiographical artist which is why it’s so incredible to hear her tell OTHER people’s stories and somehow make them so her own. like i think it’s mostly the english major in me that just gets so emotional over that...... the way that other people’s stories became our own through the way we tell them......

this song is def the one that is most explicit about the album’s theme of telling stories but ones that tell something about her (and about her listeners too), by switching to personal pronouns at the end. it sets up a pattern for the rest of the album, where each song is about one thing (the actual story she’s telling) but also about a bunch of other things.

a good example of why she’s the greatest songwriter of this generation

best lyrics: “there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen/she had a marvelous time ruining everything”

10/10

EXILE:

bon iver’s voice was a full shock to the system the first time i listened and idk why sdkjnds it is just so deep and i was not at all expecting it esp after the cuteness of tlgad

anyway these lyrics are GORGEOUS

i love a duet where the 2 singers’ lyrics are meant to be directed at each other. is there a word for that type of duet idk but it always makes a duet infinitely better

the miscommunication exemplified in the bridge...... chef’s kiss heartbreaking

out of all the songs this is the one that makes me feel the most like i am in the middle of a forest in winter. i can already picture myself listening to this song in december with the sound of a crackling fire in the background mmmmmmmm my exact vibe

best lyrics: “you’re not my homeland anymore/so who am i defending now?/you were my town, now i’m in exile seeing you out” and “i’m not your problem anymore/so who am i offending now?”

10/10

MY TEARS RICOCHET:

this chorus BRRROOOOKE ME

writing songs presumably about the masters situation and framing them as breakup songs was absolutely galaxy brain

i feel like the image of tears ricocheting has like a million layers to it and is just suuuuch a smart metaphor

also just such a visually rich song ? so is every song on the album but the metaphors of this song are all just so visual

best lyrics: “i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace/and you’re the hero flying around saving face/and if i’m dead to you why are you at the wake?” and “i can go anywhere i want/anywhere i want, just not home”

10/10

MIRRORBALL:

ok so i did like this one on first listen, i loved absolutely everything on first listen, but it didn’t hit my top 5 until like 8 listens later, so it’s def a big grower and i think could be a huge fan fav by next year

the self-awareness in her writing will never fail to amaze me

the way that life is just performing...... yeah

but it’s crazy to me that a person could be like “i’m a compulsive people pleaser and performer and i’ll do anything to get ppl to like me” and that leads to “i am a disco ball” like ???? her brain is so big. it’s such a gorgeous metaphor.... and the circus imagery AHHHHH

best lyrics: “i’m still on that tightrope/i’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me/i’m still a believer but i don’t know why/i’ve never been a natural, all i do is try try try/i’m still on that trapeze/i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me” and “i can change everything about me to fit in”

10000/10

SEVEN:

this one simply rips my heart out

at first i was like oh this is so weird and then the chorus just would not leave my head

for me personally, nostalgia is literally 90% of my personality and just for so many personal reasons the thought of childhood ending and all of the growing pains that come along with that have been at the forefront of my psyche for the past year. so it just kills me whenever i find a song like this one and it kills me that taylor specifically has several songs about this topic and this is 100000% the best of them all. like it’s the most beautiful experience to have your thoughts and feelings and fears expressed so perfectly by a total stranger, and that’s rly what art is about and i love taylor for doing that for me and millions of other people

i just feel like this song brings up so many vivid beautiful memories of childhood for so many people, like being outside in the summer and screaming and being free. ugh

the pause after “i hit my peak at seven” before completing the phrase........ OOOOOOOOOF IT HITS TOO HARD

and sound-wise, just so off-beat and cool and unique

best lyrics: “i hit my peek at seven/feet in the swing across the creek” and “are there still beautiful things?” and “love you to the moon and to saturn/passed down like folk songs/the love lasts so long” and “before i learned civility/i used to scream ferociously/any time i wanted”

100000000000/10

AUGUST:

i knew immediately that this would be my favourite tbh like i could sense it the second it began

i wrote my first impression thoughts in my journal and you can tell the exact moment i got to the bridge bc i just started screaming sdnjksdkjsdn

i would 100% get a tattoo that said “to live for the hope of it all”

everything about this song is LITERALLY flawless like i have.......no notes......no thoughts.......it’s just an absolutely perfect song

best lyrics: “back when we were still changing for the better/wanting for was enough/for me it was enough/to live for the hope of it all" and “august sipped away like a bottle of wine/cause you were never mine”

100000000000000000000000000/10

THIS IS ME TRYING:

this song is rly good but i keep forgetting it exists omg :/ once i learn all of the lyrics i’ll appreciate her more

the strings are gorgeous

i was rly surprised that this one was done with jack instead of aaron just bc the bridge of this sounds SOOOO the national

these lyrics could be interpreted in so many different ways depending on the listener’s experiences and that’s beautiful

best lyrics: “i was so ahead of the curve/the curve became a sphere/fell behind all my classmates and i ended up here” and “it’s hard to be at a party when i feel like an open wound/it’s hard to be anywhere these days when all i want is you/you’re a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town”

10/10

ILLICIT AFFAIRS:

that soft high note on “down,” “stop,” etc is sooooo nice

i don’t have many thoughts on it, it’s just so soft, SOOOOOO gorgeous instrumentally and lyrically

best lyrics: “it’s born from just one single glance/but it dies and it dies and it dies/a million little times” and “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby/look at this godforsaken mess that you made me/you showed me colours you know i can’t see with anyone else” and “you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else/and you know damn well/for you i would ruin myself/a million little times”

100000/10

INVISIBLE STRING:

like i said about tlgad, this is a nice little break from all the angst and pain and anger sdnjksdnskjsd just a sweet little break to remind u there are good things in the world too. so placed really well in the tracklist imo

super super super super cute chorus

so many pretty melodies

absolutely an autumn song btw

best lyrics: “time, mystical time/cutting me open, then healing me fine”

10/10

MAD WOMAN:

i literally lost my mind listening to this for the first time

i have such a thing for scorned women anthems like i will immediately love it whatever it is

the pure rage when she says “cause you took everything from me” gives me full body chills

it is just so eerie and haunting and perfect

best lyrics: “women like hunting witches too/doing your dirtiest work for you/it’s obvious that wanting me dead/has really brought you two together” and “every time you call me crazy i get more crazy/what about that?” and “good wives always know/she should be mad, should be scathing like me/but no one like a man woman”

1000000/10

EPIPHANY:

i find this one so hard to listen to but it’s absolutely beautiful and devastating and so heavily relevant for i think the whole world rn

the heart monitor and the trumpets tying both of the topics in together is so genius and so heartbreaking

i think will be the sygb of folklore where it makes everybody cry so much that it becomes a skip despite being a beautiful song

best lyrics: “something med school did not cover/someone’s daughter, someone’s mother” and “some things you just can’t speak about”

10/10

BETTY:

first of all THE HARMONICA

this made me so happy bc it’s just so debut and so fearless and it made me SOOOOO nostalgic on my first listen, because it really felt to me like i was getting to listen to a song from debut or fearless for the very first time again

it’s just so sweet and cute and simple and yet another very self-aware moment of looking back to her past material/subject matter

best lyrics: “would you have me? would you want me?/would you tell me to go fuck myself/or lead me to the garden?” and “i’m only seventeen, i don’t know anything/but i know i miss you”

10/10

PEACE:

the bass at the beginning is soooooo nice

this miiiiiight be the strongest song on the album lyrics-wise but idk yet

not much to say, it’s just so gorgeous

best lyrics: “i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm/if your cascade ocean wave blues come/all these people think love’s for show/but i would die for you in secret” and “would it be enough if i could never give you peace?” and “i talk shit with my friends, it’s like i’m wasting your honour”

10/10

HOAX:

i have a feeling this one will be underrated/underappreciated bc it’s just simple and dark and the last song, but this is....... a lyrical masterpiece

i feel like i need to be playing this on vinyl with all of the lights off and just a candle burning yknow, like there’s just something so dark and ancient about it

best lyrics: “my winless fight/this has frozen my ground” and “your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in/don’t want no other shade of blue but you/no other sadness in the world would do” and “you knew it still hurt underneath my scars/from when they pulled me apart/but what you did was just as dark/darling this was just as hard”

10/10

OVERALL: 10000000000/10 literally one of the best albums i have ever heard and (while i wouldn’t put it past her to top it) absolutely the best work of her career. so complex and layered and emotional and painful and genuine and different. not to get ahead of myself but this is/should be considered her blue, her rumours, her abbey road....... god. can’t wait to listen to this album for the rest of my life and play it for my future children and just watch it live on as the greatest work of one of the most important artists of the 21st century

Starker for 002 in the ask thing if you wouldn't mind dear author 💜 -StarkerBrain3000

002 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when of if I started shipping it.

Hard to pinpoint. I saw it probably just after Civil War for the first time, thought ‘hmm’ and then watched the massive backlash to it appear. Never paid much attention to it, though, mostly because starker didn’t sit in any of my inner circle of blogs I follow at the time, so most of it was peripheral and given the weird amount of hate Tony’s character got I already only followed hella select blogs in the MCU fandom.

I got way more into the ship about 3 months ago though. Went on a reading binge and then made this blog. I’m not sure why it happened to be when it was, but I’m already established as a fic writer elsewhere and felt a bit burnt out. This pairing has been like a nice vacation because I like producing content for it and this is a surprisingly interactive fandom? The most interactive I’ve ever dealt with anyway.

my thoughts:

Good lord people on this site take shipping and fiction in general way too seriously. Don’t get me wrong, I live and breath social justice- I have a gender studies degree- its a big part of my life. But antis seem to fundamentally misunderstand how fiction affects reality and how reality affects fiction. They remind me a lot of anti porn feminists in the 70′s claiming that porn made men violent towards women when that’s A- not definitively proven even now and B- you don’t watch an hour long porn flick and become a misogynist, you were already misogynistic and then the porn reaffirmed your shitty values, and the shitty treatment of women in the porn was because misogyny already existed in mainstream culture and was thus included in the porn. Which is generally how fiction affecting reality works- something preexisting in the culture is reinforced by mainstream media and then reabsorbed by the audience, which is why people can watch slashers without you know, turning into one.

And the fact that antis remind me of that particular group of feminists doesn’t leave me with a high opinion of them really. They lack a lot of critical thinking skills, don’t even seem to understand how fan fiction works also, and they also keep redefining the definition of pedophilia for... fuck knows what reason because it sure shit isn’t to help victims of actual CSA. They’re irritating at best and absolute hypocrites at worst- like who the hell says ‘save the children, kill yourself’ and thinks that’s actually acceptable?

As for the ship itself I’ve always preferred AUs, and this pairing is no exception though I’d never actually write it in canon. Canon sideways maybe, but it’d have to be pretty sideways for me to consider it. Plus I find it more fun to make my own sandbox to play in rather than the writers of the MCU’s box. I’ve already seen them in that setting, I want to play with them in new settings lol. That said I’ve not written much of this pairing before so its all new stuff and this particular fandom offers new tropes to play around with! That’s what had me most excited walking into the fandom, the way people toyed with the characters.

What makes me happy about them:

The unique dynamic they have- I’ve always been drawn to characters who have an interesting dynamic. Plus Tony Stark is one of my fav characters in anything anyway and I ship him with almost everyone (minus Pepper, no hate to Pepper!). I figure that’s why this ship came about too- Tony is interesting and well drawn out as a character, and I loved Tom Holland’s Spidey. He’s the best who’s had the character in my opinion so pairing them together was probably something inevitable. Other than that I like the way the fandom toys with their characters- not always in character, but still a lot of fun to read and imagine!

What makes me sad about them:

Well, half of them are dead, so...

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Good god, daddy kink. Its not even that I find it annoying, its just that its a hell of a squick for me so its difficult to find something that doesn’t include that and surprise daddy kink is not where I’m at as a person. Granted most people warn for it, which I’m grateful for, but it does permeate the fandom in a way that makes it a pain in the ass to find something I want. And honestly that’s really only it, and its more of a personal preference (seriously, no hate to anyone who likes that- you’re clearly all in good company lol, its just not for me) than an actual annoyance.

things I look for in fanfic:

I’m really picky about how I like Tony written. I’ve been writing the character for years now and fell into my own habits with him, though I do get pretty consistent compliments on how I write him so I’ll assume I do an okay job. But the result is that I have a hard time when people write him in ways I don’t like or wouldn’t write myself. Sometimes its just random squicks that pop up in a story, or sometimes I outright dislike the way he’s written. That said I do find that the starker fandom does the things I hate with Tony’s characterization in fic much less. 

This, I think, is primarily due to the fact that he’s made the more dominant one in the relationship always (and people treating top/bottom like its a fucking dominance thing is something that annoys me in general mostly because its built on the misogynistic idea that being penetrated is being dominated but also because sex positions aren’t a fucking personality trait but I digress). As per my previous rant I don’t care for the idea of the ‘top’ being the dominating one based on that alone, but I do like that people writing Tony in that way reduces the amount of Wuss Tony fics in the fandom. Actually, I don’t think I’ve read a single one like that. Its my Number One I Hate That in other MCU pairings, making Tony some weak little waif in need of protecting. Though I gotta admit I don’t care for Peter in that position either- clearly he’s capable and able, please don’t turn him into the wuss. Bonus points if everyone thinks he’s soft but then oh no he’s actually dangerous shit lmao.

Still though, my pickiness over how the character is written can sometimes hinder my ability to enjoy a fic.

My kinks:

Bro finding an entire fandom who likes feminizing dudes if fucking mint. I have my issues with the term, but I do feel men get the ass end of the stick when it comes to aesthetics and the easiest solution is to stick them in aesthetically pleasing shit and if that’s women’s clothing and lingerie so be it lmao. I also like the kind of gender bending that goes on in that too, I find it subversive in a way that doesn’t need to be spoken aloud if I want to swing it that way, or flat out more pleasing to imagine. Seriously, men’s clothing is boring as fuck so skirts? I’m here for it. Though I wish there was more fem!Tony stuff in the starker fandom- its actually something I write a lot of when I write him in other pairings (particularly winteriron).

Other than that I’m a big fan of anything sensation play related. So ice play, things fucking about with heat, sometimes electric play stuff, taking away someone’s senses (blind folds, bondage, blocking out hearing in some way- that type of thing). Things like feathers are nice too. I’m also fond of gags, preference for ball gags or impromptu cleave gags. Theoretically soft dom stuff though I will never understand why bondage is considered not terribly kinky. I know a lot of people are into it but the idea of trusting someone enough to tie me up and actually listen if I decide I want out of it? I have too many trust issues to relate lmao. But it does make for a good bit of fiction as I’m sure some of you have noticed in my writing (given that I do love to write some kinky stuff). If you want something sex related specifically for whatever reason public sex gets my goat, not sure why because if I were a random passerby I’d be pretty fucking annoyed at the people in the bathroom but hey, whatever floats your boat on the page, right lmao.

I’ve thought about some more extreme things too, knife play and toying with things like fear being two of those things. But I’d have to have the right opportunity and context to work them in.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Well, Tony is dead so. I would have preferred him with literally anyone but Pepper though. He literally had more romantic chemistry with Rhodey (who I do incidentally ship him with). But the MCU is  bunch of cowards so clearly they would never end up together. But they’d make a better pairing than him and Pepper, in my opinion.

Peter I’m fine with him being with MJ, I like them together on screen and I really like her character. If not her than Ned would also be a good pairing for him!

My happily ever after for them:

Well we gunna have to unkill some people but that’s what fanfic is for, right? Beyond that because I prefer AUs so much their happily ever after will depend entirely upon what universe I’ve imagined up for them :)

Against All Odds

Masterlist here. 

Word Count: ~1,040

Requested by @barnes-parker

Request: hi! peter parker x avenger!reader (if it’s ok, black cat bc she’s one of my favs in the comics) they both reunite in endgame battle, prompt 28 please :) thank you so much! have a great day/night

#28: I could kiss you right now

A/N: So i lowkey forgot what really happens in the battle scene but I’mma try my best. I remember the main points but where Peter comes in and his role in it is kinda fuzzy. Also, I’m not too familiar with Black Cat, so it’s just for the reader!

~~~

When was the last time you’d fought this hard?

Right. Five years ago, on an alien planet, with Tony and..

And Peter.

Fact: The Avengers compound had been exploded by Thanos’s warship.

Fact: You’d time traveled alongside the remaining Avengers.

Despite all this, you’d given up hope that you were going to win.

Doctor Strange had said that the chances were one in fourteen million, six hundred and five. Infinitesimal. You remembered that number, the way you remembered statistics from SHIELD reports. The way you counted seconds, minutes, hours, days, since the snap, running like clockwork.

Needless to say, you were terrified of history repeating.

They were all gone, and yet you watched in disbelief as Bruce snapped his metal covered fingers.

You were tired of fighting. The snap did nothing, not the way that Thanos had done five years ago. Or, at least you thought.

Sparks appeared, a portal opening slowly. More and more, until you were surrounded.

The portals seemed to lead to a better world. A brighter one. Still, you were unsure if they were good or not.

This is the end, you thought. This is the hill I die on.

Little did you know, things were going to be just fine.

Armies stepped out, led by the heroes you’d briefly met during your time in what Tony lovingly referred to as “the space donut”. A familiar glint of red, blue, and gold appeared, crashing into the heir of Stark Industries.

There wasn’t any time to think that your cynicism was no longer needed. You kept fighting. Your life depended on it. The entire universe depended on you, and you were not going to be another person in the body count. You couldn’t be, not after all this.

You flew up, trying to gauge the damage, before flying back down to help. Wanda was taking care of Thanos pretty nicely, until blasts started coming from the warship above.

Debris wouldn’t protect you - the best thing you could do was hope you wouldn’t be blasted to pieces before this was over. There was no way in hell you were dying before the end.

You counted the seconds between the firing and the landing of the blasts, the way you did with lightning, when you were young. One, two, three, four, five...

You watched as the blasts shot Peter out of the sky, and you screamed. Even with the armies, you couldn’t afford to lose him of all people again.

Racing over to where he had crashed landed, you let out a sob as you realized he was still breathing, curled up around the infinity gauntlet as if it were a teddy bear. That was his instinct: the fetal position. Always wanting to be smaller than he was.

“Peter.” You sighed out. “Good, you’re okay.” His mask removed itself and he stared up at you in disbelief.

“You’re alive.” He whispered, and you nodded.

“Let’s make sure it stays that way.” You mumbled, brushing a strand of his hair away from his face. “If we weren’t in mid-battle, I swear I could kiss you right now.” He smiled up at you slightly, his eyes shining.

The two of you watched as an orange comet tail came crashing through the warship and straight to… you and Peter.

Captain Marvel stood before you, still glowing. “Hey, kids, I think you have something I need.”

“Sure.” Peter handed over the gauntlet. “But I don’t know how you’re going to get through all of that.” He pointed forward, and your eyes widened at the oncoming enemy. There were so many of them, and your adrenaline was close to wearing off.

“Oh god…” Your face paled under your mask, and you fiddled with your comms. “Hey, (Y/N) here. We planning on doing anything with, I don’t know, the huge armies that keep coming?” You exclaimed in panic, and you felt a hand go on your shoulder.

“She’s not alone.” Wanda growled, landing in front of you. More female heroes appeared before your eyes, and you stood up, pulling your gloves up your sleeves.

“Alright, people, we got one rule: if they hurt you, hurt ‘em back. If they’re looking to kill… Well, they’ve got another fucking thing coming.” You growled into your comms, stepping forward. “In the wise words of Captain Rogers, if you die, walk it off.”

The rest of the battle was a blur to you. Seeing Peter had added to the burning desire of wanting to win, wanting to live until tomorrow. That’s all it was. Living until tomorrow. You wouldn’t be dead by daylight. You’d see the sun rise if it killed you.

How many times had New York City been destroyed?

It didn’t matter, now. All you knew was that you needed to keep fighting. Even if you had blood all over you, countless injuries. Later you’d call them battle scars. Later you’d pretend they never existed.

Even in the moments when you wanted to stop, you just thought of Peter, of the others. The stupid family bonding dinners you used to have at the compound every Thursday night. Going to Manhattan for overpriced, annoyingly hipster coffee. The school trip to Europe that had been coming up before the snap.

You fought for a better reality. One where everyone was alive and safe and with you.

When Tony made the snap, you knew it was over.

You flew to his side immediately, but Pepper and Peter had already beat you to the punch.

“You get to rest now, Tony.” Pepper promised, smiling with tears in her eyes. “We’re safe. We’re going to be okay.”

“Mr. Stark…” The words died at Peter’s lips. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”

“He’ll be fine.” You said, maybe as a promise to Tony than to yourself. “I’ll watch over him. He’s in safe hands.” You murmured, clasping his hand. “Thank you, for everything.”

Every war is not without sacrifice. Natasha and Tony gave their lives for you and Peter to have better ones.

Love over war.

The chances were infinitesimal, but you knew that you and Peter would be okay.

One in fourteen million, six hundred and five.

The odds were in your favor.

All of the even numbers for the question list, my dude. - Wine

You came here for my blood and you got it

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be? I would go to that island in Japan that is inhabited almost entirely by cats and never leave

4. what is your favorite constellation, why? Big n Lil Dipper because I naturally have the B in freckles on my arm and my sister @puns-in-a-jar has the L in freckles on her opposite arm.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?Yes.   

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?I do practice magic actively, but if we’re talking fantasy magic I’d learn how to do instant glamours so that me and all my trans and enbie pals could look however we want at any given moment.   

10. have you ever been cheated on? Not that I know of?????

12. favorite animal. All of them.

14. do you believe in soul mates? I do, but I also believe we all have many soulmates that fulfill us in different ways.

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.My mother’s kitchen. Mama Noodles. (but for real I switch up my eat-out places all the time I don’t really have a fav)   

18. guilty pressures? I have no guilt over my pleasures

20. something most people don’t know about you. I used to sleep on my dad’s livingroom floor for fun. Like. I had a good bed and my own floor, I just like the livingroom floor.

22. do you believe aliens exist? IM STORMING AREA 51

24. what did your last relationship teach you?The pursuit of happiness in pleasing others is a futile one and will ultimately lead to ruin and loss of self.

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy? Depends on the crime. I hold no grudge against animals, humans, however, I will destroy.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert? If you speak to me in real life I instantly dissolve into the earth.

30. top 5 favorite movies. Spirited Away, Across the Universe, Third Star, What We Do In The Shadows, aaaand slot number 5 changes on like a biyearly basis?????

32. what is your greatest fear? Having only my faults and misdeeds remembered, both in life and death.

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done. I don’t have shame, embarrassment doesn’t apply to me. I did wet myself in front of 300 people once though.

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality? I’m a Leo, and I’m a Leo.

38. are you a good liar?

40. would you rather go without your phone or music? I choose death.

42. how do you relax when frustrated? I.... I just kind of stew until I either fall asleep or leave my body.

44. favorite food E-Ev e r.. y. F o Od?> ???

46. when do you feel the most confident? When I look like a genderflux punk clown god tbh

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respectYO I AINT GOT TIME FOR THAT LIST   

50. did/do you play sports in school? I played basketball and lacrosse for a while, but I got shinsplints and kinda gave up because it’s like eight billion times easier to hurt myself by running now

52. coffee or tea?Coffee oh gods please just give me coffee

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?The way they look at me. Warm, friendly, conniving, dangerous, etc; it decides how I handle the rest of our interaction.

56. what makes you laugh?Honestly? Like, the dumbest memes you can possibly find. Comedy. Gold.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?Communication, sure, but also respect?? Like? People don’t talk about how important it is to respect your partner/partners need for time alone, and to respect their right to not talk if they don’t feel up to it?

60. favorite holiday?I really like Halloween/Samhain because GHOSTS and also FOOD

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?Hell fire and brimstone (I honestly just really enjoy spicy pizza, give me jalapenos and pain)

64. how are you? honestly.Fluctuating wildly and aggressively between manic as fuck and clipping through the floor with a fried graphics card.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?I want to be a 300 year old bog witch you tell me

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?The absence of human intervention

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?Dude What The Fuck, Not In A Graveyard

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?Bedazzling your backpack and twist braiding your hair with beads as a white kid.

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?Dude I don’t even know, do you know how many documentaries and documinis I’ve seen? I don’t even know what year it is.

74. what do you like to cook?I, uh, well. INstant. Noodles?

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?Hard gamble between Brooklyn 99 and Final Space

78. what is your favorite quote?“The only person stopping you is you.” -MeYeah I made my own favourite quote, what fist fight about it?

80. what’s your love language?Im. Hm. Greyromantic, so. That’s that on that I guess.

82. ever been bullied?Me? A nonbinary wiccan lesbian that spent my entire middle and highschool career quoting anime and drawing furries? No, never.

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?LITERALLY. ALL. ART. EVERY KIND. LOVE IT. BEAUTIFUL. EVERYONE IS SO TALENTED