#just the most specific kin lists of all time
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I just keep adding to this and it’s slowly going from a meme to something I might have to talk to my therapist about
#nimona#ballister boldheart#ballister blackheart#tma#the magnus archives#jon sims#the archivist#ofmd#our flag means death#ed teach#blackbeard#the hobbit#thorin oakenshield#encanto#bruno madrigal#transmasc#genderfluid#gotta be one of my favorite genders#just the most specific kin lists of all time#this#I want exactly this one
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could u elaborate on "parrots make bad pets"? not disagreeing (far from it) just interested to see your take! looking to learn more about this
(i've gotten this ask before so please don't mind i'm just gonna paste a writeup i did a while ago)
There’s a blog run by an animal behaviourist who specializes in parrots that i really enjoy reading, she has a very good writeup on the state of companion parrots as an industry: The Inconvenient Truth About Cockatoos
so basically the average person usually cannot meet the needs of a parrot, especially medium and ESPECIALLY large species. they are long lived, extremely social and intelligent animals who are very demanding if you are their only companion. in my mind the most 'ethical' pet parrot setup is having some pairs of budgies in a dedicated bird room filled with foraging enrichment and doing some basic command training as a bird-human bonding activity instead of cuddles.
most pet parrots are hand reared or even hatched in incubators by breeders and are never given a chance to be raised by their parents, and virtually none stay with their parents until a natural weaning age before getting sold. which is wild considering it is fucking ILLEGAL to do that to puppies or kittens.
A parrot isn't really born wired for human companionship in the same way that a dog or cat is. they imprint on their parents which sets the blueprint of their kin, and they generally want to only form extremely close bonds with others of their kin. To get a very people-oriented parrot, it has to think it’s people.
This is different from the socializing practiced in raising cats and dogs or acclimating ferals to people. socializing means exposure to things so that the animal doesn't grow up to see the target as a threat, and ultimately that the target is something that can be very rewarding to spend time around. A dog raised with its mother and socialized to people still understands that it's a dog, it can get along with other dogs, but can also form strong bonds to people. They actually read both dog and human body language and legitimately have an awareness that we are different species.
The companion parrot is raised to think it’s people, and as a result many lose the ability to form bonds with their own kind. in fact the reason many breeders remove eggs or chicks from the nest is arguing that the parent birds don’t really know how to raise their chicks- because they themselves were hand reared and never learned how to parent from their parents! it seems that, like us, parenting isn't perfectly hardwired in parrots and they need to learn the skill from their families, oftentimes even staying to help their parents raise younger siblings!
That's why it's not at all uncommon for pair bonded breeding birds to be sold as a completely separate product from companion birds in many aviary operations. there's so many ads for people selling breeding parrots that fucking hate humans or are semi tame specifically listed for sale as breeders not as pets:
then their babies are bred for the pet market so they are taken either before or right after hatching to get hand reared and imprinted onto humans, because a parrot-bonded parrot just won't be as interested in forming those close human companionships you see in viral videos. this isn't the case for all aviaries, i want to acknowledge there are smaller scale breeders who have tamer breeding birds, but big producers can have borderline feral pairs and the point i'm trying to make is when you socialize a parrot to either the human world or parrot world, it's often at the expense of the other.
most trouble starts once the parrot begins reaching the age of sexual maturity. they stop being openly cuddly to most people, and will try to pair bond with their primary caretaker. It's not uncommon for this to lead to aggression towards other family members because parrots don't share partners, they can even do this to babies they are jealous of!
But a human can't become a suitable mate substitute for a parrot, and some of their mating behaviours such as regurgitating on you can seem straight up gross so the human then shuns the parrot and shuts down their advances. this can make your bird become very sexually frustrated that can lead to more unwanted behaviours and even health emergencies such as prolapse. we lead them on by stroking their chest and backs (only something bonded pairs do, you are essentially jerking off your parrot when you do this..) then reject them with no other outlet for their natural urges, and spaying/neutering isn't an option either! so they're stuck in a psychological purgatory of being unable to fulfill their instincts. and if they're in an understimulating environment and left alone for most of the day in addition to all that, frankly i think that's just an awful life to give to an animal we allegedly love!
we essentially alienate them, and when they don’t have people around to meet their extremely high social needs because you work a 9-5, even if there are other birds around, the lonely or frustrated human-bonded parrot can become depressed and self mutilate.
parrots that were left with their parents, are raised as parrots, and weaned at their own natural pace overwhelmingly do not exhibit these destructive behaviours.
a productive relationship with a pet parrot is one that fosters independence, not dependence, on the human companion. the most responsible parrot owners should strive to act more as a zookeeper to their parrot instead of cuddling it and creating a ‘velcro’ bird glued to the hip, and socialize with them via training sessions instead of letting their birds indulge in pair bonding behaviours like petting and preening which leads to sexual frustration and aggression or self mutilation.
Ultimately I believe any parrot hand reared and imprinted onto humans is some degree of psychologically damaged and suffers from the parrot equivalent of a developmental trauma, they have been robbed of a normal parrot life and it cannot be undone.
SO many parrot rescues are completely flooded with unwanted pets, many with tough behavioural challenges (for example it's not uncommon for parrots to be reactive to an entire gender, so that cuts the adopter pool immediately in half). and these patterns can be difficult to break especially without the aid of a behaviourist. and the thing still has another 40 years of life left in it but nobody wants to adopt because it's another "crazy bitey bird that hates everyone", has reached sexual maturity so it's no longer as friendly, and it's much easier to start from scratch so folks choose to just buy another baby and keep the cycle going.
And none of that even touches on the rampant poaching that keeps supplying the trade in many parts of the world. and that's why everyone should have domestic chickens or pigeons.
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Gurugirl's Wattpad & Tumblr Fic Recs
Anything you read in these masterlists won’t disappoint but I’ve picked my absolute favorites from each blog and listed below.
NOTE: I did my best to include all my faves here but I've probably forgotten a few. I intend to add to this list (may need to make a part 2 once I hit my mentions and link limits) because I'm always reading new fics so come back often!
Angst recs (all taken from list below but specific to the more angsty ones)
Daddy kink
Enemies to lovers
Summer vibes & party fics
Personal faves from my own writings
Other blogs I love
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@1d1195
One Shot: Right Here: one bed, nightmares, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, childhood "friendship," coworker Harry, grumpy/sunshine (I'll let you guess who's who), etc. etc. etc.
@a-strange-familiar
Series: His Memories (3 parts): you and Harry broke up few months back but still love each other. And after all these months you see him again in a party. All memories you tried to push back in your head came back with a powerful speed.
@adorebeaa
One shot: Undo Me: YN reveals a kink in front of best friend!Harry, who is curious…
@awideworldoffanfics
Series: Milking the Grip (5 parts): Harry Styles is a single dad who golfs every Tuesday. Y/N is his babysitter who also happens to work at the golf course he goes to. They’ve never run into each other there. Until they do.
@be-with-me-so-happily
Series: My Way Back Home: YN is left to figure out what to do when the love of her life, Harry, does not remember loving her. (AU)
Series: Don't Worry Darling: Y/N has her first big break as an actress as she lands the leading role in 'Don't Worry Darling'. The only problem is that her co-star is Harry Styles, who she feels has a very big ego. Tensions rise the more they film. All kinds of tension...
One Shot: Friendly Favor: When YN's best friend Harry asks for a favor, she knows it'll be difficult, but she loves him too much to say no. However, it's a dumb plan, and those usually don't end how you think they will.
Series: Laceleaf: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she knows for a fact that anything involving Harry gets messy.
@bopbopstyles
Masterlist (anything you pick here will be a pleasure - seriously)
@fkinavocado
Series: Daddy Issues: in which you’ve got textbook daddy issues and when your tool of a younger brother brings a sweet doe eyed girlfriend home for Thanksgiving and you end up offering her a ride home, you meet just the man to fix them. (daddy!harry, dilf!harry)
Series: Hard Candy: in which Harry owns a candy store and he just loves giving good girls special treats… especially after closing time (candyman!Harry)
One Shots & Blurbs: Long Hair Harry One Shots & Blurbs
@freedomfireflies
Series: Playboy: Welcome to 1965, where the women are loose, and the morals are looser. Here you'll meet Michelle and Harry. You don't need to know too much about them. Just that they're both incredibly bold...and incredibly jealous. The summer of June 1965 was a rather wild one for the Playboy Bunnies but even more wild for our two dear friends. Stick around and I'm sure they'll be happy to tell you all about it. You just have to promise one little thing... Don't tell Hefner.
Series: Teach Me: 5 parts - Harry needs a little practice in the art of Eating Pussy, and who better to ask for help than his best friend?
Series: Mafia!harry: 2 parts so far - more to come - Your mafia boss boyfriend, Harry, has been a little neglectful of his most prized possession. But he's found the perfect way to make it right. Exhibition kink!!
@goldenbuckyyy
Series: Illicit Affairs: A series of events between your affair with Harry. (Cheating together)
@harryistheonlyoneforme
One Shot: Little Freak: pairing: dbf harry x reader (so hot - so many kinks all in one little shot - must read)
@harrywritingsbyme
Sneaking Around (a series of shorts): Best friends dad - FUCKING HOT
@helladirections
Series: Brother's Best Friend: Harry is YN’s brother’s best friend, and YN isn’t a little kid anymore. Ft. dom/sub, rough sex, and soft words.
One Shot: Under Summer Skies: Harry and YN are longtime best friends back for another summer as the Dream Team on staff. Featuring getting called out by 12 year olds, two dumb best friends who can’t see what’s right in front of them, and lots of stargazing.
One Shot: Moka Pot: Do you think you can maybe do y/n and Harry having a slow morning routine? Like drinking tea together, doing skin together, basically just doing everything together?
@itslottiehere
One Shot: I Don't Want to Hear About Him (angsty): bff!harry writes a song about bff!reader.. and her boyfriend.
@jawllines
Harry is Y/n's Criminology Instructor (2 parts)
Harry is a single dad and y/n is surprisingly good at babysitting (2 parts)
Harry & y/n are witches, they hate eachother, and something's coming (3 parts)
Y/n knows something she shouldn't and Harry does what on Fridays? (4 parts) - Boxer!harry
Harry is a grumpy mechanic and y/n just can't stop talking (4 parts)
@jarofstyles
King of the Jungle (multi part series): Y/N’s family works for a wildlife preservation society and Harry is king of the jungle or tarzan!harry
Lone Wolf (multi part series): Harry is a grumpy alpha who has given up on finding his mate or werewolf!harry
Beauty & the Beast (multi part series): Harry is a moody, withdrawn but successful creature who needs a companion who can tend to his… needs.
@lemoncrushh
Series: The Entertainer: Set in the 70s, Sky Jones meets Harry Styles, an up and coming musician and soon-to-be rockstar. The Entertainer Part II
One Shot: Dressing For Revenge: Still heartbroken from finding your ex cheating on you, you go to a nightclub with your friend Kelsie, where not only do you run into your ex, but also a handsome gentleman who’s willing to help you get over him. Part II
@lukesaprince
Series: Intruder: You were an outside hire for a promotion Harry wanted, and he despises you for it. The hatred is mutual since Harry is a bit of an asshole, until the day of an important presentation where the tension is finally dealt with - A very steamy enemies to lovers romance (domrry)
Series: The Roommate Series: After Y/N’s best friend and roommate Alex decides to move out, she’s desperate for someone to take her place. Alex seems to have found the solution in a British fresh-to-New-York musician who ticks all the boxes. He just happens to be insanely attractive and charismatic… what could go wrong? (friends to lovers)
Series: Fratboy!harry You Can Pretend All You Want: You hate fratboys and everything they stand for, so you decide to prove one wrong by sleeping with him… safe to say it backfires (fratboy!harry, enemies to lovers).
Series: Rich: Neighbour/Older!Harry. A Summer dogsitting job for Mr. Styles is a dream come true for any broke uni student. He's rich, gorgeous and finally fucks you after your weekly dinner together. A series that follows two neighbours who end up in a sexual relationship.
@moonchildstyles
Series: Aster: Harry is a tattoo artist and y/n just wants to know if he's like this all the time or if he just doesn't like her. tattoo artist!harry / lhh!harry
Series: Citrine: Harry's a witch and it's been along time since since he's been around anyone new, but there's no way he was getting y/n out of his head. witch!harry
Series: Chiaroscuro: y/n needed a job but this place is strange and the owner is even stranger. vampire!harry
Series: Prosecco: Harry is just on the edge of 30 and y/n is someone he's sure he shouldn't get involved with. until she seeks him out anyway, and he realizes no one has ever really shown her how she should be treated. older!harry
@0oolookitsme
One Shot: Dazzled: In which Harry has an uneasy feeling about Y/n’s new mission but the devil ignores his guts’ screams. But the vampire as well as his fiancé, Y/n, isn’t dumb and is quick to listen and take some weight off of his shoulders. They both soon find out, why, he was feeling uneasy.
One Shot: Anything For You... And I: SMUTTY!!!! Dwd!Harry x Dwd-Character!Y/n
@0nlythrowharrybeaux
Friends Share (2 parts):Harry & Y/N have been practically perfect roommates for several years but the appearance of a hot new neighbor creates an unexpected shift in their relationship.
Unavailable (2 parts): Y/N has a very specific preference for unavailable/inappropriate people and Harry is her therapist who is supposed to help her work through this.
@pleasingforharry
Moans & Elevator Music (2 parts): Y/N is in a rush for an interview at her new job, but her luck gives out when the elevators shut down due to a sudden power outage. At least she isn’t alone.
@purplekiwis
Breaking the Ice (2 parts): Hockey!Harry x Skater!Y/N It’s no secret that as a figure skater, you’re fed up with the local hockey team being treated like royalty… and your ex’s status as a player isn’t helping much either.
In the Witching Hours (will be 3 parts): Wizard!Harry x Witch!Y/N; Soulmates AU An emergency admission to the hospital gives rise to a series of strange events but luckily, there’s a cute, shy wizard around…
One shot: Tentmate: Friends With Benefits Y/N has always hated camping… until her and Harry got stuck together in the same tent. (This one is smutty AF)
@s-brant
Series: The Getaway Car: In a drug deal gone wrong, Y/N, daughter to a famous racecar driver, finds herself behind the wheel of a car with a gun to her head. A masked man named Harry demands she helps him evade the authorities, so she does the only thing she knows how to. She drives.
One Shot: Midas Touch: The night before they leave to spend Christmas with his family, a conversation with their friends makes Harry and Y/N confront the future of their marriage.
@stylesloveclub
Series: Pleasing: In which y/n is a broke waitress, and Harry is a Michelin star chef who thinks she’s cuter than a puppy.
@swiftmendeshoran
Series: Curvy Secret/No More Secrets Daddy: Dad's best friend (dbf!) Harry x plus size reader
@watchmegetobsessed
Series: The Sun Will Rise: You’re glad to be back at college and away from your family. Everything is back to its normal, but you have a little issue: you told your family you’d bring a date to your sister’s wedding, but you have no actual partner. An unexpected deal is made with the person you couldn’t even consider to be your friend: Harry can take the spare room in your apartment for the semester if he’ll be your date for the wedding. But can you actually live together with a guy who obviously dislikes you and you have no idea why? Can you fool your parents into thinking you’re dating Harry? And what will they think about him? Nothing is ever good enough to them, nothing that’s not as perfect as your sister, Alice.
Series: Wildest Fantasies: You’ve been struggling to finish your assignment for Professor Styles’ Creative Writing class. Inspiration is seem to be avoiding you, so to relieve some stress, you mess around with your roommates and write a rather dirty fiction of the hot professor everyone is into on campus. Due to a fatal mistake however, you end up uploading the wrong file as your attachment to your assignment and your wildest fantasies end up in the hands of the person they are about.
Good Girl (Part 2): sugardaddy!Harry / CEO!Harry x Reader
@writerpetals (writes optional male lead smut but you can easily imagine any male *coughharrycough* as the males are described as tall, well-built, with a nice head of hair - read anything this author writes - it's good, you will find almost any trope - ENJOY)
One Shot: Lakeside: werewolf!au, werewolf x reader
@zayndrivesmeinvain
Series (wip): The One That Got Away: In which Harry and Alena were college sweethearts, however, all of that has changed and the only thing keeping in contact is the fact that they have a child together. Is it possible for them to even get to a normal standing friendship or is that long gone? dadrry x oc | single dad!harry
i hit my link limits so was unable to insert link to part one of their series. check out their masterlist and you'll find it!
Wattpad
1-800-TITS = @1800titz (added May 21)
Series: The Devil is a Gentleman: "My name is Eros," the masked male cocks his head a smidge at her, and, if only slightly through the shadow casts between the parted zipper, Isla catches sight of a smile tugging at his lips on the latter fragment of his statement, "But you already know that. I'd hope, anyways. We've had a chat. Or two." His lips - his mouth. Isla ogles the latex through the peepholes of her own and wonders what shape the rest of his features take, what carves and forges his face, how his nose slopes, the assemblage of it all. "I think I recall, vaguely," she teases. "Mm. Vaguely. I'll take note of that. Well, although we are acquainted," Eros smooths his fingertips over the arm of the chair, a lavish facade of plastic masquerading. The latter fragment of his statement prompts the steady bump of her heart to spur behind her ribcage. "You will address me as Master." Isla swallows. Despite her prior train of thought looping so intently on the tracks to decipher what she believes he'd look like beneath his mask, it's entirely derailed by the serious note in his previously light cadence. She wonders how a mere introduction manages to send such a thrilling rush rolling down her spine. Eros leans forward, forearms braced to his splayed thighs, almost as if to bend to her level. "Or Sir. Master, Sir, it's all the same to me. Your preference." OR the one in which there's a sex club, Greek stage names, the exploration of boundaries, an open house, a pair of dress shoes, and two sides of the same coin.
_miiki
Series: Artwork & Aquarelle: "Sierra, you go with Harry Styles." I raised up my head at the words, giving my teacher an incredulous glance. "Do I really have to?" Was the only thing I managed to say. The teacher gave me an annoyed look. "Did you not understand? You go with Harry Styles." I turned my head to look at him. At the mention of his name he glanced up, and if his green eyes hadn't frozen me in place already, the unimpressed look he gave me would've done it right away.
Aggressivelyfriendly = @aggresivelyfriendly
Series: Who Names the Colors: In the last year, Joanne Smith Giles, has once again become Jo Smith. In another heartbreaking turn of events, she's also the single mother of an infant, again. She knows she can do this on her own, and better at 40 than 19, but it seems weird to be launching a son into manhood, a new career as an art professor, and changing nappies all in one day. She is so thankful when Ethan, her boy, comes home from Uni. Jo could use the help. His best friend, Harry, comes round too. And his launch into manhood may be another heartbreaking turn, for all of them
ErinAlterEgo = @yourwattpadmom
Series: Late night Talking: Alex is craving something at night, and it's not ice cream. Encouraged by her husband to explore a polyamory relationship to meet some of her more....eclectic tastes, she finds herself on a dating app for the first time in her life. She expected maybe some interesting experiences, possibly her first one-night stand ever. She didn't expect to meet a man who made her question everything about herself. Harry is on a new path in his life that is exciting and different than he ever could have imagined. He's looking for excitement, experiences, but definitely not love and attachment. When he meets Alex, he sees a whole new path that he's unsure he wants to go down, but finds it hard to resist.
Hitterj (love all of her stuff!)
Series: All This Time: The coming-of-age story of Harry and Riley who have known each other for years, but never actually knew each other. They've spent countless nights at the same parties, shared a few drinks and glances, they're even on track to graduate top of their class. What happens when out of nowhere they start to connect? Like an invisible string pulls them together, so they can experience life and love and heartbreak. Riley and Harry learn a lot about themselves, and ultimately have to choose what's best for their future no matter how difficult that can be. But does love find a way? After all this time?
Series: Kiwi: If you don't know about this one by now... go read it - super duper smutty and sweet and angsty
Series: Sweet Little Lies: All her life, Ivy Malone has known what her family was. She grew up in the deep, unforgiving world of the mob. Ivy hates her position in life, knowing that her life was never fully hers. Harry Styles was cold. He trusted almost no one, especially his family. He had learned quickly that everyone was waiting for him to fail... to fall. An empire built by his father from the blood and bones of those who stepped in his way was all he had, no matter how much he hated it. He had no choice but to carry on the legacy. And marrying Malone's daughter was the next step in fortifying their defense. With new rivals making a move for power and a mysterious figure haunting the crime families of Queenstown, Ivy and Harry have to learn to live together. A bad start leads them down a tumultuous, passionate, and downright dangerous path, but maybe they were exactly what the other needed to live the life they always craved.
MysteryMixtapes (Just go read all their stuff)
Series: Stall & Stall 2: Violence/gangs/dark
Series: Perspective: Have you ever met someone that made falling feel like flying?
Series: Unforgettable: "If it feels so right, how can it be wrong?"
Peanutboyfriend (read all of Birdie's stuff - you won't regret it)
Series: Aerial: In Malibu, California in 1965, a surfer and world-famous aerialist undergoes a chain of comedic and not-so-comedic mishaps that force him to re-evaluate who he is.
Petit_cerise
Series: Devil's Due & Devil's Desire: Harry Styles, the brooding and intolerable tattoo parlour owner, meets River, a stubborn and somewhat oblivious girl, who just doesn't understand the reasoning behind his nefarious ways but is determined to find out. River comes to realize that Harry's hiding something much deeper than expected... only once those secrets come to the surface, it's too late to turn back.
Sunflowersnstuff
Series: One Word & Wonderland: We're all mad here, it's Wonderland.
ThousandYearsOfHope
Series: Lonely Nights: Willow Mackey is a quiet girl, but she is fiercely loyal and will never lie to you. Harry Styles is her brother's best friend, and someone she'll always have a soft spot for. Grown up and no longer shielded by their ages, lines start to blur, and mistakes keep being made. For the first time in her life, Willow realises that sometimes, the truth is too painful to hear. But how could she ever say no to the one person that's always understood her better than she understands herself?
Series: Pretty Boy: One night of impulse shouldn't lead to much for Joni Lewis, but when she meets the alluring Harry Styles, an opportunity arises that she can't ignore. A Harry Styles short story inspired by Pretty Woman.
Writhali (I really like everything I've read by Thali)
Series: Ambit: Gangs/violence/action/SMUT - "Hell's boring, Birdie." He claims, that cold, dead stare back to his eyes. "And this, this is what I call a Monday night."
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There's a whole lot of towns out there that you'll never visit. Most of them are chock full of people you'll never meet. Tulsa, for example. Never been there, might never go there. And that makes me a little sad.
Sure, I only have enough time on this earth to visit so many towns. And when I'm there, I don't have enough time to interrogate every single one of the locals to see if, say, any of them have a set of Mopar F-body windshield wiper linkages sitting in the back of their garage. They'll just go to waste, damned to irrelevance by my lack of time. That's what the MBAs call a "market inefficiency."
The internet has helped, sure, but you can only demand what other people have supplied. Any quick browse on a model-specific forum is full of lonely folks crying out to the heavens for a specific piece of trim, or an entire automatic transmission, that they will never receive. And it's a lot of work to put that stuff up for sale. Who knows what's actually inside that weird pile of oil-stained gewgaws that Pawpaw left behind before he joined that alien cult and drank all that Flavor-Aid? His surviving next-of-kin sure don't know the difference between a 4.11 and a 3.90 rear end, nor are they willing to teach themselves that information in order to list it on eBay for twenty bucks.
Don't worry, though, I have a solution. That solution is that the Boston Dynamics warehouse is not secured very well. Their robots are powered by a two-stroke lawnmower engine: it's like they wanted me to show up with a turbine-generator-powered plasma cutter and chop right through the rebar holding the walls of their robot storage lockup together. After that, it was a quick couple of dozen trips to the local electronics store to get the right USB-to-serial cable, and I soon had my harem of semi-autonomous Parts-Seeking Drones® roving the backwoods of America.
So, if you see a lanky, creaking doglike shape lurking outside your yard tonight, smelling oddly of pre-mix and human arterial blood, let it in your garage. All it wants to do is scan your spare parts so I can find that goddamn last piece of dash trim for the cruise control lever on my Volare. Don't worry: I won't have the robots kill you if you decide not to sell it to me after all. It would be hypocritical of me to judge another hoarder. We'll have coffee when I come see your town for the first time! We can trade junk and be best friends and call each other on the phone afterward and talk about nitrous oxide. No promises on what the robots will do if they search your entire property and don't find any Plymouth Volare stuff, though. I forgot to program that part before I let them out of radio range.
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GUYS I'M HAVING ANOTHER BOUT OF DIVINE MADNESS
i've been seing posts here and there expressing disappointment at aotd not giving us more answers about the lore of Salacia and the Whale Prophet and all that, and i agree, it's a bit disappointing to not know definitively what's going on with them.
BUT.
I THINK THE LORE WAS IN FRONT OF US THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME.
if you liked my analysis of "Aortic Desecration," "SOS," and "Blazing Star," then hopefully you'll like my analysis (and HEAVY theorizing) of Dethklok's most enigmatic running theme—the "Murmaider" trilogy of songs.
okay strap in i'm probably gna sound like charlie day's pepe silvia rant. i'm gonna start just by breaking down the story of the "Murmaider" trilogy i'll also be skipping any lyrics in the songs that aren't directly connected to by analysis/theory (such as the parts where nathan is just listing different murder weapons or chanting "murmaider").
so, starting with murmaider. this is the only song of the trilogy to actually make an appearance in the show, with the other two being exclusive to their respective dethalbums, but even still, this song only plays for a few seconds, and it's just the chorus. this song appeared in "dethwater," the same episode that established dethklok's connection to the water. this episode also notably featured toki's guitar picking up the sounds of whales (something that would later be revisited when edgar noticed this in season 4 and began decoding the whales' messages).
There are no fingerprints deep underwater
Nothing to tie one to a crime
And if you seek vengeance
All you need are instruments of pain
so the story being established here is pretty clear. some unknown protagonist that nathan is speaking to is going to kill someone underwater so that he can seek vengeance and not get caught.
But beware
For when you quench your bloodthirst
Others will seek vengeance on you
And they won't rest until you're dead
nathan warns this protagonist that his actions will cause those related to the victim to seek vengeance on him. fair enough.
Hold your breath and swim and strain
Smell of death, can't escape
Blood will cloud, drift away
Attract the murders of mermaids
It's so cold, they all know
What you've done, you can't run
Vengeance is the law for thee
A thousand leagues below the sea
this is where it starts to get interesting. the fact that those that are seeking vengeance on our protagonist are mermaids says to me that the initial victim was a mermaid. if not a mermaid, they were at least some kind of sea creature. otherwise, why would the mermaids care all that much? care to the point of vengeance? but the next portion sinks this theory for me.
You've been tracked, you've been seen
Murdering the next of kin
Ate their hearts, drank their blood
Washed your fins in blackened mud
"murdering the next of kin" is very important. next of kin to what? or to whom? did our protagonist kill a mermaid/sea creature's child?
Now you swim, try to hide
Heart beats faster from inside
Thought it was a big charade
Your life was ended by mermaids
so our protagonist tries to escape from the mermaids seeking vengeance on him, hiding in the water, but in the water, the mermaids are able to find him, and they kill him.
now let's look at murmaider ii: the water god. already, this song seems important, namedropping a god and all.
The gods watch over you
And they consider what you've done
But now you've hidden away to gain your strength
Deep in a cave
Your power is regained
And your legacy has spread to the deepest of the sea
The one that brought them vengeance
That fights for his belief
now, this is where the theorizing really starts to come in. who is this that nathan is speaking to? this figure that nathan is speaking to here is a figure that has "brought [...] vengeance." specifically, it seems that they've brought vengeance to the gods that now watch over them. is this the same protagonist as in "Murmaider?" that seems impossible, as it's implied that that protagonist died. though that protagonist was bringing vengeance, but we're not sure whom to. we also don't know for sure if the mermaids who allegedly killed the previous protagonist are gods or work with gods. put a pin in this.
He can swim through matter
He has poisoned teeth
His tentacles have murdered
His scream can kill the weak
He's got explosives (check)
Corrosives (check)
A master of the art of murder
Mermaids weep the blackened tears
despite this being in third person, this still is referring to the protagonist whom nathan is speaking to. this is a direct continuation of nathan speaking about his legacy as "the one that brought them vengeance / that fights for his belief." this is establishing the power that the protagonist has. anyway, mermaids crying blackened tears over this protagonist? seems important.
So you swim to a sunken ship
Invited by a soul who bleeds from the lips
The prophet, who beckons you, wades in the dark
Speaks an ancient language, this language is of sharks
HEY LOOK A WATER PROPHET, THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR. however, this isn't the water prophet we're most familiar with—we're familiar with a whale (not a shark) whom is referred to with she/her pronouns (not he/him). but that doesn't mean this isn't important. put up another pin.
He says, "You're the one that I decree
The one who can save us and set us free
You've gained the power of a deity
You have the strength to wake us from this sleep"
[...]
And the prophet gives to you this warning:
"If this path is chosen you'll be met with strife
For you'll be seen as an enemy of the sacred
And the gods will curse you for the rest of your life"
And you say, "I get by just fine (check)
I've known much worse life (check)
I've conquered dark times (check)
They should fear my might (check)"
so this shark prophet, as i'll refer to him, is telling our protagonist that, because of their power, they will get the right to further divine powers so long as the protagonist uses this power to help..."us." however, in freeing the nebulous "us," this puts our protagonist in conflict with the gods and other holy/sacred beings. this doesn't dissuade our protagonist, having full confidence in his abilities and power.
So now you know then, go then
Swim on through the cold then
Harness your strength
Because one day you may be called
To meet the mighty gods
Deep within the ocean
And if you're not prepared
Your soul will not be spared
OKAY BOYS, HERE'S WHERE IT'S GETTING FUCKING INTERESTING. our protagonist is told to lay low, gather strength, and wait for the moment when they will go up against the ocean deities. again, DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR? don't forget this, but take out that pin from earlier. this protagonist is the same protagonist as in "Murmaider." he didn't die—his "life was ended," but given his divine power and strength, that doesn't necessarily mean death in the permanent sense. the mermaids were bitterly weeping about this protagonist, someone that they thought they had killed but whom is still alive, getting stronger, waiting...
Your eyes have gone black
You'll never look back
You'll never stop swimming
You'll always be tracked
Your life has transformed
Your power has grown
Your minions stretch for leagues
For a bloodied coral throne
A crown of murdered foes
Will sit upon your head
Those that wish to challenge you
Will wish that they were dead
The beasts of the sea will collect and submit
Pray for your forgiveness and live as you permit
okay, pretty straightforward yet again. the protagonist is getting stronger, hiding away from the mermaids, gathering minions, killing those in his way. "the beasts of the sea will collect and submit." this is a warning.
And you say, "I am the water god
You will bow to the water god
You will live for the water god
And you will die for the water god"
[...]
And the deities loom nearer
They will find you
the power has gone to our protagonist's head. he is demanding fealty, proclaiming his own divinity, whilst the true divine beings continue to track him down.
okay. murmaider iii. let's look at the conclusion of this story.
The blackened deep
The coral keep
The dying king
Will no one weep?
Ruled in fury
Incurred his debt
This wretched prize
Crown of regret
Scavenger
Savager
Blasphemer
Vile
Violator
Tormentor
Murmaider
Guile
once again, pretty straightforward. our protagonist, who had decided himself a water god, a ruler, is dying. he's been a vicious ruler, and he may have regrets over this, but he also may not wish to go back on anything he's done.
Within this dying sea
The Murmaid Three arrive
These witches have foreseen
The end of everything
three hags with the power of foresight? damn that's crazy, i too love the three fates from greek mythology.
They say, "Your power blinds you
Your DETH will find you
Vengeance from your enemies
Your kingdom crushed, your subjects bleed
Refuse defiance
Forge this alliance
From the land (check), from the sky (check)
And from the blackened fire"
so, the murmaid three are giving our protagonist a chance to avoid his fate of a vicious death. let's note, firstly, that the spelling DETH is important in mtl, as this is the spelling used when referring to the dethlights, and other divine power harnessed by dethklok. but looking past that because we haven't gotten to the analysis portion yet, our protagonist has already forged alliances with land and sky deities, just not from the deities of blackened fire. interesting, blackened fire is also a reoccurring theme in mtl, i wonder if that's important.
The end's approaching (We survive)
Darkness encroaching (We survive)
This nautic land (We survive)
Our final stand (We will swim, check)
We will swim (We will fight, check)
We will fight (In the deep, check)
In the deep
the protagonist doesn't seem to care about forging this alliance, instead choosing to fight.
The final dream
The gleaming reef
The silver light
The murmaids sing
The blackened fire
The blazing sky
The pluming ink
The sea beast cry
His final sleep
But we survive
hey wow, namedropping "Murmaider," "Black Fire Upon Us," and "Blazing Star" all in one verse? damn that's crazy. anyway the protagonist fucking died, but "we" survives. i think the "we" is meant to be dethklok, like. just pretty clearly. nathan and dethklok have never been portraying anyone besides themselves in this series of songs, just singing to/about the protagonist.
anyway, i think this was all about salacia and the whale prophet, with salacia being our protagonist.
i think salacia, back when he was a proper god, fully fused with the four other souls, was a powerhungry god. at some point, he felt wronged by the whale prophet in some way or another, and he killed her child. the mermaids went to try to get vengeance on him, and they thought they killed him, but what they really did was separate the four souls from him, sending them into the doomstar.
salacia fled the ocean from her. now that he was so wounded and only at half his power and strength, staying in the water would allow the whale prophet to find him. this shark prophet in the story, though, is a figure that doesn't show up anywhere in mtl. but we know that salacia can change form, so, why not the whale prophet? though, yes, she wants vengeance too, but she also wants to see what he's capable of. she needs to know what she's up against, after all. she tells him just to rest up, wait for when she calls upon him. but he doesn't do that. he harnesses further power from her, using it to start a reign of terror.
eventually though, he realizes the truth of what/who she is, and he flees the water. out of the water, he no longer has connection to the whale prophet's power, and his own natural powers are dwindling. this would be around the time that he starts the tribunal in a final attempt to regain his lost power. the tribunal is his alliance with the land (check), and his attempt to seek power from the doomstar and the four souls is his alliance with the sky (check). that just leaves dethklok as the blackened fire. i'm not gonna go into a whole analysis of "black fire upon us" to prove i'm right, but they've been connected with the imagery of blackened fire for a long time...ughh i'll get into it in another post. but anyway, salacia doesn't foster an alliance with dethklok, instead using and harming them to get what he wants. the blazing doomstar endows dethklok with the power of the dethlights, and they use that power to send salacia back to the water, where the whale prophet devours him, finally getting her vengeance from what he'd done all those years ago.
this all might be a stretch. as i was finishing this, i was starting to think i was crazy, and maybe i am. maybe i'm way overthinking this, and we'll never truly know what the hell was going on with salacia and the whale prophet and all that god stuff. that's fine with me, tbh. but i hope you all like my little theory, this took me two hours to write once i thought of it while waiting for the bus.
#dichromaticdyke.exe#Metalocalypse#Army of the Doomstar#Salacia#The Whale Prophet#Dethklok#written in a fit of divine madness
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I got reminded BBCs Merlin exists and that spiraled into remembering a bunch of other really, really shitty adaptations of Arthurian canon and now I'm mad so I'm going to list some true facts about it that should hopefully demonstrate why adding "gritty realism" to it pisses me off so much
-Morgan le Fay serves as a Rita Repulsa-esque figure who throws problems at Arthur. She is also a wholly separate person to Morgause, the mother of Mordred. Morgan le Fay is a badass sorceress who's only motivation for being a Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain(tm) is that Guinevere snubbed her in some way.
-It's full of Welsh folklore, especially regarding faeries, and initially started as a recounting of a bit of Welsh military history before people started adding their OCs to it. It then broke containment and spread across europe, especially during the renaissance.
-Loads of the knights have superpowers. Straight up superpowers. Gawain gets stronger (and in some sources, bigger) the higher the sun is in the sky. Kay has some sort of fire shit going on... It's great. People would add their own guys to the round table and give them Cool Powers because they could. Though mostly it was just super-strength. This fell out of favor as it was Christianized because people are COWARDS.
-Lancelot is a French guy's OC, and despite the whole thing being full of those, Lancelot is the most OC of them all (affectionate). The second most OC of the bunch is a dude known for his edgy coat that he always wore that belonged to his dead dad (I am not joking)
-Half of the dudes are described as 'the fairest' or 'the most handsome'. Some have the caveat of 'second only to Arthur'. I legit read a description of how handsome a random knight was that filled a full page once. This is hilarious.
-There's a knight called Bedivere (he whose name has no set spelling) and he's my favorite. He has a prosthetic hand, is head butler, and is the only bitch to survive the big last battle in retellings that I respect. He's also one half of a comedy duo with Kay, also in retellings that I respect. I am admittedly biased because I played him in a middle school production of a really bad adaptation of a knockoff spamalot
-People just fucking murder each other on accident all of the time to show off how STRONK they are. After jousting got added they started having the horses die when lance met shield which DOESN'T MAKE SENSE but is there to, once again, show how STRONK the knights are.
-More on the note of casting, but there are dark skinned people in the canon. Specifically Moors (which is old europe for muslim north-african people with dark skin, a term not really used anymore because it wasn't actually one ethnic group but several). MORE SPECIFICALLY there is one explicitly biracial knight who's the son of one of the other knights and a (and I quote) "Moorish Princess". His name is Morien because people have never been subtle and was one of the knights for whom the tales waxed poetic about how stronk and handsome he was.
-Saved the best for last but this all gave way to the an early historical examples of larping and possibly kinning. King Edward the Third loved a knight named 'Sir Lionel' so much to the point where he'd hold big round table tourneys where everyone would larp as different characters from Arthurian legend (himself always being Lionel) and even named his son after him. The kicker? Lionel doesn't actually have that much in the way of story. He has like one story to himself and is functionally a sidekick in every other appearance I can find. King Eddy 3 had a Blorbo.
All of this to say that Arthurian canon is lovely and goofy and if I see someone make Morgan le Fay into Mordred's mom again I will spew fire and rain hot, bloody terror from the skies. I also think we should start adding OCs to it again and nobody can stop us.
#long post#i just love this shit so much#i didn't even get into the goofiness that is merlin#text post#queue#king arthur#arthurian legend#arthurian mythology
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procrastinating so u guys get my hatchetverse hcs!!! (these are going to be a lot of shit i picked up from random posts that i dont remeber the ops of so sorry if u made one of these hcs and i dont credit you i love you sorry)
ethan green
probably like 23? 25?
hes actually bi he told me himself
afab he/they boyflux sue me
lex is his first and only gf. he's probably had like one bf before but he loves lex sm more (simp) (malewife to her girlboss basically)
orphan sorry i dont make the rules
his dad left like immedately and his mom passed of old age when he was like 17 idk
hannah is basically his little sister. he'd die 4 her actually.
ted spankoffski
like late 20s early 30s at the most ithink
so painfully thirsty for anyone he has to be pan
amab he/him but doesnt really give a fuck
has never had a partner thats so sad. he makes up for this by constantly acting like everybody wants him. they dont. (exepct for me i love him)
doesnt really have a CRUSH on anyone speific but mark chastity is his fav to tease (sorry im a baby for holy bastard)
him and petes parents love them but theyre kinda like.. oblivious and absent. like theyre always on trips and leaving pete to live w ted
max jagerman
im not gonna list all of the teens' age theyre all 16-18
im assimilating with this one he/she pronouns amab
hes omni he told me himself pref 2 women
everybody wants him he only wants the nerd (hes just like me fr)
he isnt dead shut up shut up sHUT UP HES FINE OKAY
his dad is not good his mom died in childbirth
stephanie lauter
genderqueer. they/she/he in order of pref. also uses xe/xir idc sue me
pan thats cannon she told me xirself
does tiktok dances but really badly on purpose
the biggest simp on earth to her one guy and nobody ese
will fluster the living hell out of pete in public for fun
hates being the mayors daughter, feels alienated bcs of it
pete spankoffski
he/they afab i dont make the rules
bi if you argue youre homophobic (/J)
actually loves his big bro but acts like he doesnt bcsaude is ted hears him looking up ted he'll never hear the end of it
nickname seymour from ruth (bcause lsoh)
ex-brony
richie whateverhislastnameis
afab he/xe/nya/zap he would have so many cool neos. one of those people whos neo list is longer than the bill of rights
gay mlm yes
undertale enjoyer
nge enjoyer
discord mod in an anime server
owns several body pillows
xem and ruth have been friends since pre-k so they know eachother like the back of their hand
ruth whateverherlastnameis
afab she/they
omni large large large pref to girls. likes a few boys sorta
biggest theatre kid ever but sucks at acting and singing (the curse)
got ensemble ONCE and cried at the cast list
fav show is heathers
heather m kin i dont make the rules
grace chastity
afab she/her
bi
liked a girl once and cried for a week str8 abt going 2 hell
i dont have alot of hcs for her but i think she would like fire a large amount
not even arson wise but like
a firebug
tinky
i already made my hcs for all the LiBs' true forms so go find those if you want
all the libs dont give a fuc about pronouns call them whatever
i do he/him tho
tinky is really just a 13 yr old girl freaking out abt one specific guy (ted) and making fucked up fanfics with him (time bastard nmt)
the "youngest" of the siblings
boy jerry
i beleive that every character jon plays is related. boy jerry is pauls fucked up brother. which means hes also richies uncle
#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#ethan green#ted spankoffski#max jagerman#stephanie lauter#peter spankoffski#richie lipschitz#ruth fleming#grace chastity#tinky#boy jerry
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You know what's a super classic conlang thing I'm shocked we haven't done? A kinship terminology chart! We should totally have one, get in those terms for uncle/aunt, grandparents, nesprings, the whole of it!
LETSGO, full list of the familial terms they use in Clanmew, plus a straightforward explanation of the concepts that have been floating around!
PARENTS
Blood relation is simply Gan. This is a term that's more related to bloodline; Nyams is for people you consider your family. Both of these are translated as 'Kin.'
So to start with, the only constant for a kitten is that they have a Mi.
A Mi is a Primary Parent. This is a non-gendered term; there are many reasons why a non-birthing parent may be the Mi of their litter. It also doesn't necessarily refer to whoever suckled the kittens. Whoever spent the most time and energy raising the litter is its Mi.
Fernsong was the Mi of his litter. Torear, biologically Harestar and Kestrelflight's uncle who adopted them, was their Mi. Breezepelt is the Mi of the litters in his polycule.
If, for some reason, the Mi was unable to care for their kittens, their Ba is expected to step up and become their Mi.
Most kittens also have a Ba.
A Ba is a Secondary Parent. This exclusively refers to cats involved in kittencare, to try and imply that an Honor Sire that has no role in raising their children is a Ba is something that supporters of Thistle Law do. It inherently means closeness.
For example, when TigerClan took over, Rippleclaw was considered the Ba of Swansong, even though Oakheart had raised him along with Stonefur and Mistyfoot.
Never use "Ba" for an Honor Sire unless the Honor Sire is co-parenting, such as with Firestar and Sandstorm. "Ba" can also be a title that a cat rejects completely, such as with Breezepelt to Crowfeather, Brambleclaw to the Three, and Dovewing to Lionblaze!
"Ba" applies to all kitten-involved members of a polycule. Heathertail and Harestar are both Ba to the kittens that Breezepelt is the Mi of. In cases of there being multiple Ba, usually a creative nickname is made up to differentiate them. For Harestar, his Clanmew name (Yywayayiaoyr) has so many Y sounds that his children call him Ya!
A Mwaow is a relevant biological parent. Usually a mother if referring to wild egg-laying animals who don't care for their young, though occasionally Wairre is used for "sires" specifically.
"Mwaow" is what Swansong feels is most fitting for his sire, Rippleclaw. Breezepelt wants to be extra insulting and call Crowfeather a "Wairre" sometimes.
To call your Ba a Mwaow is very insulting, and a rejection of them as your parent. Likewise, it is insulting to say that a cat's Mwaow is their Ba if they don't feel that way.
And finally, the term for Honor Sire in Clanmew is Kurruaow. Honor-Parent. They make no distinction between dams and sires in Clanmew.
To summarize;
Gan = Kin/Blood
Nyams = Kin/Family
Mi = Primary parent
Ba = Secondary parent
Mwaow = Biological parent, neutral but non-endearing
Wairre = Biological sire, used mostly for animals
Kurruaow = Honor Sire/Dam/Parent
AUNCLES AND COUSINS
What about the sisters and brothers of your parents? Their kids?
There are Mi-Auncles, Ba-Auncles, and First Cousins. Further than that is just thrown under Gan, if at all.
Myami = Mi-Auncle
Byama = Ba-Auncle
Rabir = Cousin
SIBLINGS
Multiple-births are very common to Clan cats, and furthermore, multiple litters are seen often. Defining your place within your parent's litters is very important socially!
So, in addition to having words for an older or younger litter of siblings, there are also words for your size within your own litter. Clanmew is more concerned if you were a large kitten or a runt than your birth order, but this could be crudely compared to the human concept of older and younger siblings!
This is an important concept because size growing up would mean you had the upper paw in brawls, to your suckler's milk, and were considered the 'most mature.' Runts are considered to need more protection and 'babying.'
If there was a situation where two littermates were equally sized, they often squabble over who was really the bigger sibling. This doesn't relate to adult size-- Fallenleaf was the largest of her litter, but Lionblaze is bigger than her now.
Firra = Siblings (Broad term, often assumed to be innately plural and referring to several types of siblings at once)
Kafrrif = Sibling of older litter
Eefrri = Sibling of younger litter
Wifeerr = Littermate
Wikfrra = Larger littermate
Weesfwa = Smaller littermate
OFFSPRING
A baby cat, referred to as a 'kit' or 'kitten' is simply called a "mew." But that's not typically the word they're using when they're talking about their children. There's also additional words in Clanmew for the children of different litters, and how an auncle refers to their sibling's kittens.
Nia'u = Child/son/daughter
Neewarr = Litter
Niak = Child of first litter
Niawi = Child of second litter
Nia'eef = Child of third/any more litters
Rabnif = Nespring/nephew/niece
Niauga = Grandchild (of child you were the Ba of)
Nini = Grandchild (of child you were the Mi of, can be given for closeness)
Kurrnia = Stolen kit, rightfully won through battle (Archaic)
GRANDPARENTS
Garrmwa = Ancestor (For non-ancient ancestors that can still be tracked with deduction. Great grandparents, not Thunderstar.)
Sharrarram = Ancestors (For ancient ancestors, far beyond modern memory, who live in the stars. Thunderstar.)
Ami = Mi of my Mi (This can also be applied as a term of endearment. For example, Heartstar is the Ba of her kittens, but Tawnypelt is still Shadowsight's Sharrmi)
Garrmi = Ba of my Mi AND/OR Mi of my Ba (Like Ami, can denote a type of closeness.)
Genrrarg = Ba of my Ba/Someone who is still a grandparent, but not a close one. (This is the term that Breezepelt's kittens eventually use for Crowfeather)
Shegarra = Descendant (For the sake of completion; typically used by StarClan)
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Scorchfur! He has gotten more attention recently because people started to realize that being named Cloverfoot Berryheart and Buster(Rippletail)'s father means that he was mates with Snowbird as an apprentice, which while being funny at least, I'm pretty sure was just an accident with the Erins not paying more attention to the timeline. His first appearance is in Eclipse, during the battle of the eclipse when Hollypaw brings Shadowclan cats to aid Thunderclan in the battle he and his mentor Snaketail jump in beside her, The same battle in which Snowfur stays behind in the nursury with Tawnypelt's kits. He tends to be a hothead in his early days, quick to end disputes with claws, he jumps into a boarder skirmish with his mentor against lionblaze, while the rest of the patrol remains with their claws sheathed in long shadows, and during the final battle though he is injured severely he tries to jump back into battle while Littlecloud treats his wounds, saying 'I'll fight to the death if I have to."
Scorchfur is actually an interesting guy, since he’s almost like the B-list Actor version of a warriors character in A Vision of Shadows, with more on the page than your average cat but very specifically lacks the autonomy and notoriety that most main characters, or clan leadership gets. And this is true of many characters in that arc, I was going to summarize all the things he did but it ended up being a lot and I was starting to feel like I was yelling in font of a conspiracy board of why didn’t I notice that this guy existed when I read these books, he should have been as memorable as Brightheart or Mudclaw but he just wasn’t for me. And I think it’s because the narrative itself doesn’t treat him like a noteworthy individual, he represents shadowclan, not his opinion, and when he speaks characters reply to him as if he’s one of an entity of shadowclan cats who don’t like leaders and not as Scorchfur. This is true for all of shadowclan at the time, Spikefur, Ratscar, Snowbird, Grassheart all have speaking lines and opinions, but they’re treated like a personless group instead of individuals.
Anyway list of things he did During AVOS include: Distrust Violetpaw for being non-clanborn yet defends her in front of Onestar, be extremely critical of Rowanstar and eventually Crowfrost for the sickness in shadowclan and rogues hunting on their land, be extremely distraught over Snowbird catching the incurable yellowcough, come up with the idea to use Twigpaw as a hostage to try to convince Windclan to give them Lungwort, Tell Rowanstar that he can forget about coming back from a gathering because the clan wasn’t participating with clans that abandoned them and Rowanstar was too weak to lead them signalling the entrance of Darktail and the Kin, Jump first into the battle against Riverclan starting the fight, argue with Darktail about feeding their prisoners and almost loses his standing (and ability to protect/ feed his family) over it, Help puddleshine cure cats instead of fight during the liberation of Riverclan, Feel immediately dissappointed again by Rowanstar’s indecision in the six toed cat prophecy and throw claws with tawnypelt about it, argue with Rowanstar/Puddleshine about annexing with Skyclan because the clan wasn’t consulted or warned and only decides to comply for the warrior code of it all, lives peacefully in Skyclan until Leafstar refuses to allow his pregnant daughter to return igniting what will become a grudge, conspires to hide her in the old shadowclan camp until she is discovered and allowed to stay, assists Juniperclaw alongside his mate in Junipers attempt to poison skyclan by distracting the clan destroying dens, Is not included in the blame for that event (not even mentioned at all!) and in fact escorts juniper to captivity and guards the den, cheers for his daughter Cloverfoot when she is elected Deputy.
Many characters accuse him for wanting power but He Doesn’t, he just thinks everyone else is doing it wrong until Tigerheart and Juniperclaw Cloverfoot are elected. In the next arc his spirituality is defined as being dogmatic and easily swayed by the atonement narrative, partly because he’s led to believe an injury he sustains that also kills his clanmate is a sign that they must atone. Once that’s clarified as being false he is supportive to the rebellion agains the imposter. In the Starless clan arc he is still a warrior, and has been seen doing warrior things (he was on the patrol to riverclan in sky to retrieve catmint) but otherwise has taken a back seat.
#Scorchfur#Warrior#warriors#Shadowclan#Warriorcats#warrior cats#warrior cat#warriorcat#warriorcat designs#warrior cat designs#warriors designs#warriorcats designs#warrior cats designs#Sorry for the Essay but also you're welcome because it was WAAAAY longer
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fine, I'll bite. Analyze me
okay i was not expecting this for a lot of reasons but i'm intrigued now so i'll bite back.
i usually do these analyzations on my other blog actually, @analyzing-people-like-hell, and i usually ask for a few characters just to make sure i'm going on the right track, but i think i can work with just skimming through your posts.
i doubt it's all that accurate because of the lack of information, but it's somethin', so hopefully it's at least entertaining to some extent:
toxic yaoi called they want their lawlight back.
you definitely kin either L or Light. i'm leaning towards L more just because of what you seem like, but i feel like you'd at least semi-relate to Light to some extent, and both can give a lot of insight. for one, you're definitely not a people person. the thought of engaging with most of the frivolous activities you see people do not only bores you, but it might even disgust you as well. or maybe you just lack the social skills to deal with people so you tend to avoid them all together. either way, it does make people keen on viewing you as more of an asshole type. you probably are a bit of an asshole, but your nature ensures that you get the job done, so it's not like anybody can complain.
i don't know what your parents did but i can just smell the parental issues from you. for whatever reason, you find them inadequate and maybe even failures of guardians. it's hard to pinpoint why you'd feel that way, but my guesses are that they were probably just negligent in general. they probably didn't treat you with respect, or just didn't treat you with any care in general. i can imagine they get needlessly pissy with you a lot and blame/push their problems onto you. who knows, either way they don't seem very nice, and they're maybe even a lot worse than what i'm assuming.
despite not being much of a people person, you seem pretty emotionally-intelligent. you spend so much time with yourself that it's easy for you to control your emotions and stay pretty level-headed in situations that would normally fracture others. it gives you an advantage when getting to know people. you understand yourself enough to keep yourself safe, but it also helps you understand where other people might be coming from. there was also this one reblog i found when skimming through your posts: "when you want to be heartless but you know that's not how you are" that does make me question a lot of my initial guesses. maybe you just want to appear like somebody who couldn't care less about what people think, but deep down you still do. you want to give the world the same kind of pain it dealt you, but you just can't. despite all the rage festering inside you, you can't seem to stop caring. (which honestly fucking relatable i can't blame you there man.)
also you're definitely emo. and somewhere on the gay agenda. there's definitely something you regret from 2020 specifically. idk what, but it's probably there.
that's all i can really think of right now. my bad if this is completely off, but it's the best i could come up with. i'd def be willing to try again given a list of characters if you wanted. i'm gonna go work on my spanish presentation now. adiós, you emo disaster. thank you for giving me more procrastination time.
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I would love just like, a little thesaurus of words/places/names from your work and their meanings and stuff. I don't know how else to explain it, like where you came up with the names and for words that are for your story, how you named things. Does...does this make any sense?
Hi Sparrow, this is such an interesting ask. I do get what you're going for with it and I'll be happy to answer for the stuff that isn't canon to the Titan Fighting Fantasy franchise or D&D, though I will point out where words or phrases are literally just direct translations of Scottish Gaelic. I will also point out where I wasn't the creator of the name or phrase, because I'm not going to do Dru or my husband dirty like that. Speaking of, tagging in @druidx because she might have more nuanced answers to give for some of these.
Places
Ok so let's start with the easier list of the lot shall we?
Toreguard(e): This one was created by my husband as the starting town for all of the D&D campaign adventures that I write about. I've asked my husband if it has an actual literal meaning and he's told me that it doesn't, but it was inspired by Norse words from the viking times. As an aside, 'Tor' does have a meaning, which is literally just 'hill'. So the name can probably be roughly translated to 'Hill Guardian' or something of the sort.
Kar'ak Ungor: The original name of the mountain of Wyrmholme (which is in itself relatively self-explanatory, i.e. wyrm/dragon home). This was taken from the Warhammer Fantasy dwarven language of Khazalid. 'Kar' literally just means 'big stone', which is what a mountain is. The signifier -ak is technically not the correct use of the language as it's used for concepts and not places, but it rolls off the tongue better than Kar'az to me. Besides, this is a different world, so I can do what I like :P . As for Ungor, that was taken from Khazalid as well. It directly translates as 'cavern', but I use it to also mean 'red' in Titan. So the direct translation of the name is 'Red/Cavernous Mountain'
Kar Kherril: The name of this dwarven hold was inspired by Khazalid, but not taken directly from it. It's also a shortened form of the full name since a lot of people can't pronounce the full one, which I've decided is probably Kar'ak Kherrilimir, which would translate directly as 'Mountain of Kherillim's Children'. As an aside; Kherillim is the Titan Fighting Fantasy canon dwarven name for Throff, so I tend to use both names dependent on the context.
Phrases and Words
cridhe-dàime: This was taken directly from Scottish Gaelic and it technically actually translates to 'heart-dame' but I use the second half as 'kin' since I typically use it in the context of Meredith and Elowyn quite specifically, and it rolls off the tongue better than 'piuthar', which is the Scottish Gaelic word for sister. The masculine equivalent would be cridhe-bràthair.
Moradhir: Ok, so part of this one is taken from Moradin (which is the D&D god of the dwarves), but I added the suffix '-hir' in to denote the people who worship Moradin. I'm not sure where I might have got that from, in all honesty. I think I was just trying out different sounds until I got one that sounded 'right'.
I'll link to the Language page of the Wiki for the various words and phrases Dru came up with, as quite as few of them are to do with swearing, and some of the translations are a bit too much for Tumblr directly. That and, if I put them all here, that would make the post 'colour of the sky' long, which no one wants in text form.
Most of the rest of these are basically taken directly from Scottish Gaelic, or Scots but I sprinkle them around my writing.
Hen: This is a Scots word that I use all the time irl. I think it's equivalent to 'hun', which is short for 'honey', which is used as a pet name of sorts in some English-speaking countries. This Scots version, though, is generally used as a sort of pet name for female friends and is pretty universally used as a term of endearment (at least, in my experience).
Ken: Old English and still a modern Scots word for 'know'
Mo Ghoal: Scottish Gaelic for 'my love'
Fear Goalach: Scottish Gaelic for 'beloved man'
Bairn/Wean: Scots words for small children
Those are the main ones I can think of off the top of my head. If you have questions about any others you've come across and you want clarification, let me know.
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Name: Angel (their real name doesn't really fit the human tongue but it roughly translates to honey or nectar)
Age: Well into their 3rd century. Still pretty young by angel standards but well into adulthood
Pronouns: they/them
Sexy bits: Whatever you'd like! They like to change what's down there pretty often but if you show favoritism to any of them they'll stick pretty closely to that
Species: Angel, your guardian angel now forever <3
Looks: Shorty (your chest height, literally, they don't look this human naturally so they made sure they could be smooshed in your chest if you ever gave them a hug), chubby, big ol white wings, golden halo, like a high class version of those slutty party city maid costumes? white ballroom gloves, their hands are coated in pure gold that travels up their arms in splotches (They call it a "horrible little stain"), their hair is a hime cut that they but into a high bun
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Job: Your personal maid. Will come in every other day or so to clean up unless you give them a different schedule. Will not stand for anything under once a week though
Hobbies: Stealing your shit. Ok, that belongs more on the kink list. They do honestly like cleaning though. Keeping things all pristine and shiny makes them happy
They also really like eating. Look, for an angel, eating like humans is fully optional so I'm saying it's a hobby. They mostly like trying foods you seem to like or hate.
Trying to understand every inch of your brain might be their biggest hobby now that I think about it
Kinks: Corruption, worship, slave/master play, anything that can get them on your leash really, scent, tickling, wax play, bondage (specifically their wings, it makes them feel helpless)
No-nos: Any pain play that exceeds hickeys. More stabby pain is a total turn off for them and it will make them cry in the bad way. They can and do find pleasure in duller pain that comes with soreness though, which can absolutely lead to a round two while you're helping them stretch after being bound
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Friends/family: Most angels are like, kinda related??? They've got a big family technically but raising a new angel is a very communal thing so they don't have "parents" of any kind
Other ocs: The only other people they interact with are the ones you interact with the most. By choice or not
Linda, the mayor, is very close to you what with being your landlord and sugar mama and all. They don't mind her so long as she's not being too pushy about her "payments"
The one person in town they actually seek out aside from you is Grace, the priest. She's a bit...weird about them? But the company is nice, and while you're still being stingy about your "privacy" they kinda have to accept her offer of the church's spare room
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Background: Angel always felt a bit off when they compared themself to their siblings. Sure they looked the same but no one ever seemed to feel the way they always did. Empty. They were just, so empty. Until, they met you that is. One of their kin was talking about how annoying it was to be your guardian, so they brushed off the work to Angel so they could do "more important work". What could ever be more important than you they could never understand
All was well until their kin came back, saying that they got told off for not respecting their assignment and needed it back. No, no no no, angels don't get to just be around humans whenever they want. If they got you back Angel would never get to see your smile, your tears, that adorable way you sneeze, ever again
Did you know an angel's blood is golden?
How you met: They kinda just...showed up??? After you moved to little town you had about a week to try and adjust to all the rest of the town's weirdness before they just show up and start handling your household chores like they've been there the whole time. They even know how to fold your laundry the way you like it
#little town#LT Angel#Did I go over board with this one?#Maybe#But I like it so it stays long as shit lmao
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Fungal Pilgrim (Druid Archetype)
(art by Eugene Horyachkin on Artstation)
Ah, fungus, an often misunderstood and strangely wondrous and fascinating form of life. They can grow miles across underground with their mycelia network, yet most individuals assume that the reproductive bits that sprout up from the ground are the main body of the organism and not a fractionally small part of a bigger whole we never see.
Indeed, there is much about fungus that even in this day and age we do not know. There’s plenty of evidence that many fungi are at least somewhat aware of their environment, and many mycelia networks appear to be functionally immortal.
It’s no surprise then, that in a fantasy setting there would be those that view fungi as the ultimate life form, and seek to become more fungus-like.
As their name suggests, these fungal pilgrims are on a quest, though not one to any specific location, but they have a destination in mind: apotheosis into a fungal being. Some might be devotees of fungal deities good or evil, some may see it as a form of immortality, and some may simply think of fungus as a superior form of life. Either way, it’s not surprising that a class that has themes of transformation and becoming one with nature would have an archetype like this. However, this archetype replaces the wild shape that we are used to with a different, more permanent form of transformation.
The abilities of this archetype vary slightly based on whether they choose a bond with a companion or a domain.
If they choose domain, it must be the plant domain. Additionally, they can infuse fungal power into their summonings a few times per day. Whenever they summon a single creature, they also summon a second creature from the next highest summon list made of fungal matter, which has it’s advantages and disadvantages.
Alternatively, if they choose to take a companion, their companion slowly is infected by the transformation that these pilgrims seek, becoming a fungal creature that slowly gains the special abilities and attacks associated with such creatures like toxic blood or clouds of poisonous spores. The most powerful of these companions can even create fungal spawn from the bodies of slain foes, though these only last a few days before rotting away.
Close to the zenith of their power, these druids also transform into true fungal creatures, gaining the advantages therein.
Interested in a character other than a sorcerer or oracle that has a sort of late-game apotheosis? This archetype may be for you. The archetype makes major improvements to either summoning or the animal companion at the cost of wild shape, so either way you’ll likely want to take a more supportive role, though you yourself and your companion will prove especially tough in your own right as well.
This archetype can either be weird but otherwise just another way to seek perfection, or it might be insidious and horrifying. After all, is the character transforming into a fungus or being overwritten and replaced, and is there a difference. Also you can have a lot of fun describing their abilities, such as secondary summons tearing their way out of giant puffballs that spontaneously grow during the casting, or the foul, rotting form of your fungal companion.
The battle for the world of Makis is lost, the heroes are dead, and the planet (and all others in the same material plane) is being stripped of it’s resources and luxuries by a multiversal tyrant for their unchecked hedonism. However, hope remains in an unlikely place, for the Enclaves Below, where reclusive druids become one with the world’s mycelia network, ready for one last counterattack.
Recently, samsarans have come up missing from their communities, accompanied by a growing sense of dread among their kin. Those that suspect kidnapping are correct, for a cabal of fungal druids have been overtaken by a mutant fungal network that seeks to find a way to achieve immortality beyond even it’s perpetual existence, seeing the perpetually reincarnating souls of these beings as a possible answer.
The Millenium War left more scars on the land than just muddy battlefields and wastelands, for many weapons technological and magical were developed and deployed during that era. Now, one of those weapons, a living fungal disease, seeks to perpetuate the war, infesting fleshcrafted warbeasts and animated tanks for form an army of monsters. What’s more, some druids have begun worshipping the fungal mass, inviting it into their bodies.
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More Five Hargreeves Headcanons (That are very much Canon to me)
Description: This are all definitely real! PROOF: I am Five Hargreeves’ Emergency Axe that he talks to rather than Delores (100% REAL!!!)
Author’s note: ah yes.. five x reader headcanons along with my most fav headcanon of all time: transmasc five 💪💪 im battling writer’s block again this is so slay of me (no it’s not) (this month was so trash and this is my compensation for me being M.I.A. SKKSKS) (anyway if you don’t like the idea of five being transmasc… respectfully scroll and don’t say anything pls!! no negativity here!!) (and we know the drill- five is aged up to whatever any of you are comfy w!!) (also tysm for 175 followers??? holy shit??? i appreciate it sm wtf 😭😭🫶)
Five Taglist: @ells-graveyard @noahspector @aelinismyqueen @fivelegance @ne0boss @twauna00 @placidpluto @eichenhouseproperty @heartsforsuyin @ghostlywavelengths @ghostlycherryblossomwonderland @seconds-not-decades @coolcatlover4 @emotionally-unstabel @peachy-wolfhard @its-lokilocked @raven-fandomtrash @theilliterateskankula @magicstrange @venusrambles @whereintheworldisspencerreid @honeycombdumbass @kazuive @oscarisaacsleftballsack @zenithinthebin @peachteeaaa @rchaoz @wickedmystery @wordsandnerds @umbrellatte @666abby6666 @iameddiemunsonshair @starlightinhumanform @vennythearsonist @trashmouthsahra @crinklypink @halfumbrella @wifeofcamillamacaulay (if you want to be removed/added, pls tell me via pm!!)
Disclaimer: I am not transmasc myself, I’m girlflux so I merely took my own experience trying to identify myself for the last 2-3 years, if I did something wrong with my headcanons, pls message me privately and I will be sure to add/change/remove anything that can considered to be harmful for actual trans men, this is all just for fun and I hope to not offend anyone— I merely want to share headcanons of Five that I love!!
he hates those matted fluffy socks (he’s so me fr), the texture grosses him to the point he would try to trash it (ps. klaus took it from him)
five LOVES comforters, he just tucks himself in and just. sleeps so quietly you’d think he’s dead but he just. does not snore. (you’ve tried to worriedly wake him up once… all you got was an annoyed groan and a painful smack to the lips—)
he hugs himself in his sleep if he doesn’t have blankets (unless you’re in the picture, he’ll definitely just CLING on you) it started when he was in the apocalypse, sleeping by a wrecked mattress store with no blankets, he dusts off the dirty mattress, not bothered to find any pillows or etc, so he just tries to sleep through the cold night with his own warmth, too tired from the chaos… not ready for the days laid out for him
he seems like a cat person, but he actually not so secretly wants a dog (specifically a herder dog for a farm), its in his bucket list for retirement, he wants to play with the pup and have someone by his side after his family fell further apart (s3 ending), then he can go on peacefully knowing he wasn’t rlly that alone, at least fulfilling one want of his
^ however if he could get a cat, he would get a sphynx cat… reason? he wants to match suits and sweaters with the cat (his excuse to you is that he doesn’t want the cat to get lonely being the only one wearing the ugly sweater.. and the sweater is just a plain blue turtleneck.. not even your typical xmas atrocity….)
as a kid, he had a teddy bear named mr pennycrumb, which prompted him to decide to name his soon-to-be pet mr pennycrumb in the future
my boy kins “a lots gonna change” by weyes blood, especially the first stanza, give it a listen and you’ll see.. y o u ‘ l l s e e (though disclaimer, the singer sings the song in 1st pov and uses feminine descriptors… but for the sake of five, just switch it out in your head w masculine coded words)
now- with his identity, as a kid, what awakened him to discover that he truly feels more like a guy is when he saw addam’s family— let me explain myself: he resonated with gomez- as even though gomez is considered “weird” he’s still a perfect husband/gentlemen, his charisma and charm could leave some in pure awe- and all five could think the first time he watched the movie was “i want to be this guy” rather than “i’d want to marry this guy”
with gomez and morticia’s dynamic from the movie, he will definitely incorporate their relationship on how he wants to treat his own s/o, like how he acted with delores, he was all in love and sappy, speaking italian just for her, he definitely took inspo from gomez with all of that, i just know it!!!
in a relationship with you, he would also try to know everything you like, your fixations, hobbies- he appreciates your intellect with your interests, always making sure to listen as you ramble on as your own eyes twinkling with pure interest and he only smiles softly, smitten by the sight of your love for this, how knowledgeable you are, even if its a ‘stupid’ interest or just something so niche others wouldn’t understand, he would try to fully comprehend it- as if it were one of his equations, he would study it just so he can talk to you about it, and see the excitement that radiates out of you when you realize he’s actually interested in knowing, that it wasn’t just a lie to keep you talking as they did something else- no, you notice it- his genuine interest that you see when he talks about his own theories peeks out so clearly, even if he tries to not let it out
if you speak other languages, he will try so hard in learning them just so he can somewhat impress you (for fellow filipinos however…. he cannot pronounce manananggal for the life of me…. you once had him try to say it but it ended up taking half an hour full of his tongue twisting from both his accent and the amount of “n” sounds w the word.. so basically he almost chucked a translator book to the wall— so uh… take that headcanon and r u n)
with his type (romantically), i think he doesn’t have one honestly— its more on the idea that he cherishes anyone who would care for him and vice versa, for example, he finds his siblings ‘annoying’ from their actions, personalities, likes, goals, ideologies and etc, but he still cares for them becos they’re important to him, with you, he could care less if you were rough, brash, shy, not so outgoing as others or something ‘normal’ society wouldn’t appreciate, he isn’t normal either— he’s a guy with a bloody background and superhuman powers, why would he care that much? if anything he would only appreciate you, even if you’re the polar opposite or almost carbon copy of him, if he truly cares about you, he accepts everything about you, just like how he accepts how his family is just dysfunctional as he is
in the topic of relationships and sexuality— i also think that he’s in the aroace spectrum- specifically demiromantic and aceflux (for those who don’t know- demiromantic means that he feels romantic attraction once he develops a strong emotion connection) (as for aceflux, its when someone sometimes feel sexual attraction, but in other times they don’t feel attracted that way, its fluid; changes even)
^ with that said- though its a well-known headcanon, i think he discovered it when he feels uncomfortable with the handler’s flirtatiousness, knowing it was fake— he likes sincerity that are peeking through the mask— not just soft smooth words that sway everyone else, he wants to feel truly loved, especially with everything he’s experienced atp
and now for cough cough scenario headcanons… drum roll please……
five successfully going back to 2019 with ONE (giant) mishap: he’s back in his 13 yr old bod, pre-transitioned AND… he was technically closeted too so.. oh brother….. at least…… he was a late bloomer as a kid so he’s pretty okay that he doesn’t need a binder again.. yet.
HOWEVER, he definitely stole school boy shorts from the other boys’ childhood closets cos his old closet only has uniform w the skirts
he also mentioned that he refers himself as a boy to the rest of the umbrellas so bluntly his family just goes with the flow (they’ve witnessed far more bizarre things atp, they don’t dare try to question this cranky little shit)
five being so ANNOYED with his higher pitched voice again cos he hasn’t took testosterone yet at 13 (he took it once he was in the commission as part of ‘extra’ stuff in his insurance (cough the privilege of being the handler’s favorite cough))
he always— painfully itches himself every time, his fingers scratching his own skin as if he’s trying to get out of his own body, because he doesn’t feel right— he feels like he’s found himself in the different room; it felt wrong to him
with the body change in s1, when handler said he’d give him a better body, she definitely tries to poke him the fact that its a cis male body as a manipulation tactic cos she she knows about his gender dysphoria :”(
speaking of gender dysphoria, it makes his annoyance for being back at his 13 yr old even more prominent cos frankly, he feels like he’s not himself again, especially after finally being so euphoric fully transitioning and all- he has do it all over again, including the insecurities
cough scenario time 🕺(im very lazy to write pls bear w me SKSK)
: younger you (either stealing from your parent who’s a doctor specializing w gender reassignment or from a literal clinic).. just stealing testosterone pills from the cupboard trying to give it to pre-transitioned five— and five is just touched- almost tempted to actually take it, but he doesn’t take it- instead he blips, then puts it back but he still appreciates the thought :((
the euphoria of him wearing his first binder, his first suit, being finally referred as sir and he/him for the first time— right after- when he gets to look at the mirror, he feels so manly, and for once- he felt right in place, not as if he were a missing piece in the wrong puzzle
you referring him as your boyfriend, or husband even, he won’t admit it, but it puts the most giant smile in his face, and his ears go red just from it, not just he feels so honored, but its also cos he feels so validated by you, someone he cares about so much that he swears he could kiss you right then and there <33 (he doesn’t, but in closed doors, he slipped a little peck or two) (i just love this man sm i cant)
#tua five#five hargreeves x reader#number five x you#five x reader#five hargreeves x you#number five x reader#five x you#five hargreeves headcanons#five hargreeves#five headcanons#number five#tua x reader#tua x you#thank you for reading my madness#tua s1#tua 2#tua 3#the umbrella academy
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Favorite to least favorite schools?
OOOOOO A QUESTION so okay this is an interesting one for me because not only are my faves tied for first place BUT I have such a limited knowledge on the schools I don't play as often so the list is gonna be super wonky HSLABDIRKE BUT HERE, LET'S PUT IT INTO WORDS:
Most favorite school(s): Storm/Death
So we all know I love Storm and it's for No Reason. Like I can't even say it's because of the game mechanics or whatever I just love Storm and there's no reason why. Even as a kid I immediately knew that I wanted to be the Purple Lightning Bolt School before I even took the book of secrets test. Like I swear I kin Storm but like. Kin-lite if that makes sense. Like I'm NOT Storm itself but IDKKKK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT I love everything about Storm; the aesthetics and the color scheme and the lore behind it, it all just SPEAKS TO ME so yeah I never grew up. Sjsldjdi
But like narratively? Lore-wise Death has to be my favorite because not only is there so much that goes into the Magic itself but like so many important and well-lived characters are Necromancers. And in my PERSONAL opinion some of the most compelling tales come from Necromancers alone because OF WHAT THEY GO THROUGH SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE THEY ARE NECROMANCERS. Like yeah I relate to that shit and honestly? The game says that the three Primordial forces are the most powerful magic but I feel like Death (along with Life and Balance of the main schools) is one of, if not the most powerful. Also because dead stuff and goth girls are my two most favorite things in the world so
Next Favorite School: Myth
Actually if I, myself, was the young wizard instead of my homunculus puppet I think I prooobably would be Myth. Like I think that's just literally who I am and even though I don't think my aesthetic lines up with Trolls and Cyclopes that much I just literally feel in my heart I'm just so...... (gestures towards myself) that I'm quite fit to be a Myth wizard. Lore reasons only. Like the "imaginative" Wizards is so mecore. I like Myth a lot but it's definitely below Storm and Death
The school after that: Balance
This time it's a mix between aesthetic and lore a lil bit. I like the fact that Balance doesn't even really seem to be a unique Magic that it's its own thing but rather a bit of each and every existing school (including the Astrals and Shadow) that it just became something entirely new and on its own???? Like it's familiar in the sense that you can see it in other Magic schools but there's still something in the core of Balance that makes it Balance. If that.... even begins to make any sense (I'm sorry my vocabulary is fucking shit. I know no words to describe things well). Also this is just my personal headcanon that Balance is one of the hardest Magic schools to master because it's so complicated. Like Balance in the Spiral is like Physics or Chemistry in our world
So this is where I start to fall out of groove with the other magic schools because I don't know shit about them so I'm gonna have to just rank them off vibes alone at this point:
The next favorite school: Fire
I was a fire wizard like years and years and years ago before I listened to my autism and went with Storm and honestly Fire fucks!!!! It's a cool school and idk how popular it is in terms of game mechanics (I think Ice and Life and Balance is most popular I think? idk I don't play the game) but I've always thought Fire was just super pretty to look at during battle. The color scheme may be a bit basic (red and orange for fire mhm) but it still works and honestly???? Personal headcanons that Fire wizards are actually one of the most mellow-headed wizards out of all the schools (commonly mistaken with Ice wizards; remember kids "Calm" doesn't equal "Aloofness") and that Pyromancers are typically daycare teachers or people who are normally in charge of/care for the youth
Some of y'all are gonna hate me for this but I can't really put Life or Ice above or below each other because I just don't really think about either of them that much HALSEHRKSH: LISTEN I DONT HATE EITHER OF THESE SCHOOLS, they just don't really....... stand out to me that much and my life and ice wizards aren't that far enough along yet where I can spot a significant difference between those schools and the ones I actually do play. Aesthetically wise yeah they're pretty!!! And then that's it DUDJSJSO I APOLOGIZE TO MY LIFE AND ICE MUTUALS/FOLLOWERS
(I assume anon meant like, the schools you start out with and not the schools you learn about later so I left out Shadow and the Astrals but if I had to put them somewhere on this list Shadow would definitely be right under Storm and Death, Moon would be below that, Star would be after Fire and Sun would be just kinda hanging out on the outside somewhere)
THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION ANON I HOPE MY ANSWERS WEREN'T A COMPLETE DISAPPOINTMENT 💖💖💖
#im so sorry i let all my ice and life followers down. i know#this is my strike two after that malistaire post. another one of my unpopular opinions i just dont know tht much-#-about ice or life enough to care about them HDNSJAJAJAIA#like if anyone wants to reblog this and offer their own opinions PLEASE DO I LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT Y'ALL'S THOUGHTS#i remember i talked a little bit about how death is my favorite tied with storm a while back but yeah#i still cant EXPLAIN WITH WORDS whats so special about storm to me that the other schools dont got. like-#-i know its compmetely subjective like this is just ME PERSONALLY. but storm reaaaaaaallllyyy fucking hits different for me#a surprise to probably no one that shadow is also one of my favorites HWLDJDJDI#ILL TALK ABOUT THAT IN THE FUTURE BECAUSE I LOVE SHADOW MAGIC I LOVE IT#so tldr its just sentient “evil” magic + turning into eldritch abominations + headcanon material/potential#wizard101#wiz101#w101#asks#anon
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hi hi !!! its me again <3 kin walmart anon :)
after reading other peoples experiences, ive gotta talk about something that ive noticed is a pretty common thing amongst certain types of kin servers. and thats just… blacklists that are both user compiled and extremely strict.
this never made sense to me. especially if said blacklist is 400 miles long and has some of the wackiest shit on it. i actually still have access to the one from kin walmart, here are some of my favs:
- the word “bounce”
- the phrase “bouncing ball”
- mother mentions (all forms: mom, mother, etc)
- oranges (the fruit)
- school/mentions of schoolwork
- therapy
- Talking about private conversations/going to have a private conversation in a public setting
- any mention of the ocean
-
im also going to say, blacklists are fine. user compiled blacklists are okay but… i think there should be a better way to manage them. especially in spaces that have 100+ members. no hate to anyone who has these triggers either. i just think that there’s a line. there should be a line. and most times, ive found that the line is nonexistent. it should be up to user’s specifically to adjust their experience accordingly. im so sorry that i want to talk about the bouncing ball i stole from dollar general, maybe just dont read the conversation.
i understand that this take can be somewhat controversial, its why i don’t… talk about it without hiding behind anonymity. but i think, especially in kin spaces, blacklists are almost… idk.. taken advantage of?
idk this ended up being more rambly than intended, i just love talking about kin walmart and some of the whacky shit that went on there. stay tuned for our next episode; kin home depot
- kin walmart anon
NO YOU'RE SO RIGHT IS THE THING. there is a point where you need to be responsible for yourself and not place the responsibility/blame on others for not remembering every trigger on a mile long blacklist. you have to know when to step away from a conversation if there's a topic that triggers or upsets you, not demand everyone else conform to You. especially if it's extremely specific (such as the bounce example you gave) or extremely vague and frequently mentioned (moms, school, etc.). there's a lot of issues with those kinds of things and if you're in a Public space with lots of people, you gotta be responsible for your own well-being. it's different if it's a smaller group of friends, of course. there's a difference between 'friends' who continuously overstep your boundaries/comfort and large servers where people are just going to make general discussion about whatever.
the amnt of servers ive been in w mile-long user-compiled blacklists where people throw a gd Fit if you so much as allude to one of the 5000 "problematic medias" theyve put on the bl.... ok not that much actually cuz im thinking of one example in particular i was in multiple servers w. but you know. and a lot of shit can just be like. squicks or stuff they don't like, rather than something that will genuinely trigger them.
i swear some kinnies just can't manage big servers in general. once i was in a server of at Least 100 members - that was not even a kin server, it was for smth else but had a lot of kinnies - where there weren't any like, actual chat moderators (just some ppl who had permissions for unrelated reasons). there was a user-compiled blacklist that was rarely updated w requests, and one day out of boredom & frustration with the lack of organization, i went and sorted the long ass list by Category and Alphabetically. i was not even a mod i just DID THAT. the admins of that server sucked so bad they didn't know how to manage anything and were generally some of the worst people on the planet.
#Anonymous#kin walmart anon#mod bender#kinfessions#sorry this got long. LOL.#i also mirror anon's sentiments that specific/vague/ANY trigger is okay and valid to have ok? you can't control what triggers you#it's just a matter of people making it Other ppls problem. and not stepping away if you're upset. n expecting 100+ ppl to revolve around u#kin server stories
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