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the-priestess-of-dawn · 5 months

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thinking abt ur validar post because i actually thought about that a little in my stupid werewolf fic. I had to really sit down and be like "what the fuck would people even FIND attractive about this guy enough to have a baby" and I didnt wanna just use the occult angle and it hit me that Validar isn't self-caring because he hates he's not the vessel he wanted and yeah he definitely IS the equivalent of That Parent. You know the one. What I'm saying is maybe there's a commentary to be made here abt how the Plegian people and him in turn felt so dehumanized in general after a point even the extremist sects of Grimleal were better bc well, if you become food for Grima/BECOME Grima's body then you're useful and good and righteous. What gets me is Plegia isn't poor, either, but its poor in sustainability outside the ocean... idk, a lot of food for thought with Validar here. I didn't expect to think abt him in FEH so deeply but here we are.

Honestly it's kind of embarrassing how much I HAVE deeply thought about Validar. I've been wanting him to get into FEH for a long time now. A lot of his lines in Awakening are so poorly written that it's hard to make sense of him as a person. But even though you can't really argue that he's in any way sympathetic in the text... For me at least, there's no such thing as a completely unsympathetic villain, and I can't help feeling sorry for both him and the other members of the Grimleal...

I mean, yeah, when Aversa explains that Plegia suffering under Gangrel was useful because it drove the people to worship, I think we ARE supposed to feel bad for the common people. But I think it's easy to fall into a trap of trying to distinguish those ordinary citizens from the evil, manipulative leaders like Validar just a little bit too much. Aren't they all trapped in the same vicious cycle, in the end?

Over the course of the game, we occasionally fight some Grimleal enemies who are... really just nasty, and not supposed to be given a second thought at all. But I can't help but be moved that they call out to Grima with their dying words... "Master Grima... my life force... is yours..." (Chalard, Chapter 8). "Lord Grima... Rain down... retribution..." (Jamil, Paralogue 6).

The Grimleal... love Grima. Even Validar loves Grima. Aversa says he's everything she knows of love, but she also doesn't presume he loves HER, so of course it's his devotion to Grima that she sees. Notably, it's this form of love that makes her content to die for him.

So I end up feeling deeply moved, even though (or more accurately, BECAUSE) the entire philosophy behind the Grimleal is so horrific. The deep despair these people must feel in order to see salvation in the form of humanity's destruction... It's NOT just "hee hee powerful dragon will make me powerful" because these people, including Validar, do not presume that they are special and going to survive. Even the leader of the Grimleal is nothing. Grima alone is everything.

And... okay I talk a lot about the symbolism of Grima's name meaning mask, which I love so much, but lately I've also been thinking about the meaning of their Japanese name, Gimurei—from Norse, Gimlé, referring to the place where the righteous will dwell in happiness after Ragnarok, which will stand "even when both heaven and earth have passed away." So... yes, I do think that for the Grimleal, giving their souls to Grima is a way of becoming righteous. The world is cruel and ugly but Grima will make it right :::)

(Of course, because they believe Grima is the only answer, no one does anything to make the world they have any better. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. One that Grima is drawn into as well. When this is what they wake up to, what are they supposed to do? If they don't destroy the world, they will be letting a LOT of people down.)

#ask #grima studies #yeah this one's one for the tag i think #i just... think a lot about what it means to worship someone like grima...

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concertoforagashedthroat · 1 year

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loustat, armand/daniel <3 and armand/louis and armand/lestat while we're at it

thank you for not stopping at the first two. these guys might not be on penny dreadful levels of polycule insanity, but they are nearly there. im going to give you a novel bc well where else am i gonna do this? im gonna reference book (including later ones i havent read) stuff so if ur avoiding that for some reason uhhhh consider not doing that bc spoilers are fun

loustat: when i read the book, i did not have time for this ship. i hated both of the characters and the writing was so bad that i just did not want to hear it. however…well, we all saw what happened in real time this fall. i was always interested in some of the broad strokes of the book, and the show filled them in in a way that really clicked for me. i love how they are endgame like if they were my friends id make sure they stayed on separate continents but i LOVE to see them bother each other as a viewer. why must they keep trying even though they have irreconcilable differences? theyre soulmates thats why. it’s an interesting ship bc of the unreliable narration. i love the shows version with them having a courtship and a real relationship near the beginning. gay enough indeed!! the way lestat loves is so interesting to me so of course im interested in the love of his life. yes it’s sometimes the wrong kind of love expression but at its heart it’s sharing a coffin and anything for louis (which isnt an ideal like lestat maybe think about urself but. cant go on lestat trauma tangent!!)

armand/daniel: love this one as well but for its normalcy. and yes it’s normalcy amidst completely batshit antics, but still!! like it’s a ship of boyfriends not husbands you know? and yet i take it way too seriously. i think it really gives armand a chance at something good. yes he repeats some patterns from when he was a human in a relationship with a vampire but i think there are crucial differences. i love all the pet names too. oh i should comment on them in the show. idk tall armand and notblond daniel does remove some of the layers but of course itd be fun to see him fuck that old man and i hope they got up to some fun stuff in the past!

armand/louis: i could almost stand the parts of the book with armand. idk it just seemed so much more tolerable. you cant even say oh i was young and just liked a relationship that seemed less complicated on the surface bc of what i was shipping back then. so yeah i do like it as a ship and i think it’s hilarious that they build this wonderful life together in the later book canon and then lestats like hey louis want to live a life that youll hate with me? and louis goes immediately. thats comedy baby. but it’s nice that they both have this place (their relationship) where they can kinda chill and recoop.

armand/lestat: i love mess!! bc i like armand, i do think it’s too bad lestat rejected him. it totally makes sense for who lestat is, and maybe armand wasnt reaching for him for sustainable reasons, but i think itd be fun if they got together in a different situation, sometime in the era of the books or after. just for fun! theyre in each others lives anyway.

ive also seen daniel/louis and daniel/lestat which are both funny and both ruby approved. i love how these vampires are always falling into each others beds, so i support every configuration possible (except for characters i hate they should die :) ). theyre like the kissing family on snl to me

#thank u for enabling me on tumblr dor gov

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astranova · 3 months

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headcanon crumbs for sothis? pls i beg. that art slaps so hard.

aaa yes!!!! omg i have so many like a whole document full!!!

i really do hc sothis as an actual captial G, some kind of celestial god or creator being that chose to fall or create a physical or “mortal” form around herself intentionally to be around life on planet. because mortal people literally wouldn’t be able to comprehend something like that it was depicted as a meteor or earned her a reputation for bringing disaster. like okay, the cosmic alternative universe in league of legends (cringe) i guess?? i kinda imagine she’s a being like that. ik sothis is connected to sirius so in my hc thats the last star she made or the remains of the body she shed to become mortal idk, like stripped of its spirit and godhood it just became a dead husk

i hc she stood at 10 ft tall in a human form at her most mature and for funsies!

she speaks w/ multiple voices!! like more than just the usual nabatean distortion in their dragon form

she bleeds ichor, which makes her different from other nabateans who’s blood becomes green when they shift forms. i also hc that nabateans come from her just existing (like fairies popping out of flowers and stuff!! her “divine influence” made them, and they are in her image. and then her children were immaculate conception by pulling from nature imo :p, i think thats the difference between “saints” “apostles” etc. im also a saints being her literal kids truther) but that at her core she’s not just limited to the title “nabatean”. like a square is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a square?? if that makes any sense????

i hc her dragon form as looking more owl like! since everyone in fodlanverse loves owl feathers and can all receive friendship up points w/ them. shes a giant, very long serpentine-owlish dragon, specifically barn owl bc i like them the most. i usually draw her about the size of a mountain but she can be any size! she’s beyond physical limitations so she can be super tiny too. and that the inside of her wings reflects space and she has multiple pairs.

okay this one is weird and personal but hear me out :’), i hc that her original hair color, as a celestial was like cosmic dust or gas and starlight, bright, colorful. and that when she fell she evolved according to what the environment demanded, lots of greenery and nature, so her hair and eye color became green as an evolutionary trait. like environmental camouflage. so she wears the ribbons to emulate her original “color”, so i reject the CoS sothis being depicted w/out them

i also hc that she’s a little bioluminescent, or has some bioluminescent spots!! like how stars shine at night

she also makes the sound of bells or chimes wherever she walks! her entire being just screams unreal

i hc she can manipulate time anywhere, in any reality, since that seems to be some of the least of her powers, despite what the team at heroes depicts

in my headcanon she didn’t sleep within byleth, when they were a baby she was a baby and they grew up together etc. ik that for gameplay sake the literal mechanic had to be introduced and she had to be introduced as a game character, but in my mind palace (bc im more important) she was completely reborn alongside byleth and they grew up like siblings and she acts like that to her children because she’s influenced through byleth and she has no memories of her life after the fall at all, or even before, just a base instinct of the things she’s capable of. and the arrogance she displays is just the usual for someone that young and in possession of that much power and how they might behave. i do think she was still dead/unconscious in sitri though, just her magic sustained sitri’s life.

#i have so many #i have completely rewritten the plot and the history of fodlan in my head to suit my needs OMG #i ahve a whole document where ive written this stuff down not to be chronically online #it gets super away from canon so some of these things i would have to like write essays to explain my ideas :’)#BUT IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED???!!!#always happy to share #ppl who interact pls dont let this leave the target audience 😭#the ****stans scare the hell out of me #em.txt

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emmas · 3 years

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I’ve seen a lot of people say that melanie giving up and walking off into the snow is ooc but i feel like her mental state is being a little ignored here

Hallucinating actual full blown people you can have serious conversations with is not something to be taken lightly lol. & she was doing this since practically the start of the mission already. Then the train was late picking her up. & Then it literally drove past her. She had to watch it leave her behind.

She realized wilford was in charge, she had no idea if they’d be coming back in a week, month or even a year. She simply did not have the food supply for that. Breeding animals is not that simple either btw. Even IF she managed to breed the rats, its a 3ish week pregnancy (if it works out) & then another 5ish weeks for the baby rat to grow big enough for her to eat. & if she wants a sustainable food source she shouldnt even eat all the rats she breeds bc she needs them to breed more. She was already running low breeding takes time & she just didn’t have that.

I HATE that she’s (implied to be) dead. But not wanting to die slowly from starvation/dehydration and then having her daughter find her body, wanting to just walk out there on solid ground after spending 7 years on a train, dying on her own terms....... idk i think it makes sense

#shes not dead btw but! my thoughts #snowpiercer #melanie cavill #rambles

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 3 years

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Heyo can I request a hq matchup thingy? I've been all over yer blog and its cute!

I'm 5'8 (on the verge of 5'9), sorta athletic build, lanky but not really slim and more on the curvy side, she/they, light redish brown skin tone, I have shoulder length coily dark brown hair with bangs, glasses, i wear beanies to hide my bedhead and I have a slash on my left eyebrow from when i scraped it on a desk at age nine it was very fun. Totally unrelated note but my friends say i smile like Squirtle and when I'm mad i just look like a really intimidating baby duck 😞

I'm a sagittarius, I have ADHD, a little tomboyish personality wise bc i wear a lot of skirts but im nowhere near girly, I'm a bit rowdy but I'd never do anything to make someone uncomfortable, i gots mommy issues and a little bit of a temper but I'm very approachable, I speak fluent sarcasm and can come off a little rude if ya don't know me that well but I'm very respectful but i kinda swear a lot....

Despite my 'sense of instability' i come from a family full of lawers and veterans (kept separate my parents broke up before i as born), growing up I didnt have the best childhood so i always have empathy and best believe i will fact check you if your out of line 🤬. I'm the one who's willing to cheer you on and support you through thick and thin as well as being at almost every game or event your preforming/ playing at :), I'm very generous and a bit of a care giver(more of a simp if ya squint): ya want water?? "here have mine", hungry? ''oh want McDonald's? i can pay if ya want'' cold?? "here my hoodie im pretty warm already"

My hobbies include singing, playing bass and acoustic guitar, both traditional + digital drawing, dancing and i play a lot of sports like volleyball (i spike and/or set), softball (pitch), boxing + track and field (are those two even a sport???). I've always wanted to be a really big artist and if it doesn't work out i can always try out voice acting bc even though my voice is pretty low i can make it really high pitch like shoujo anime girl high pitch or become a sports journalist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm the memer of my friend group and i like to think my sense of humor and style are on point. I'm a big horror movie junkie... from 80s to late and early 2000s, every slashers, thrillers to sci-fi trust me I've watched it all >:), i loveeeee Pokémon i may or may mot have had a huge crush on Brock and James when i was 6 , and Sanrio, i stick kuromi stickers on everything i own 😅. I also have a really big Batman obsession (grew up around a lot of bois other than my brothers) but i prefer MARVEL...

Sorry this seems pretty long and totally disregard if yer busy but have a good day/night <3

@callmedirtbag

Romantic Matchup

Semi Eita

How Y’all Met

So you we’re new to Shiratorizawa

And you we’re just walking around campus when you found a gym

When you peeked inside you saw a empty gym

But what really intrigued you was the volleyball net and balls inside 👀

The gym looked pretty empty so you decided to mess around with the volleyballs for a bit

You got so into your practicing that you didn’t notice Semi walk in

Semi was a little confused on why there was just a random person in the gym

But he couldn’t deny that you had some skill 😗

However he saw that you were struggling with your sets

So he decided to help you 😃

Ngl you we’re very kinda embarrassed about getting caught practicing

But he assured you that he didn’t really care and that the rest of the team wasn’t coming for another 30 minutes or so

After hearing that you gladly accepted his offer to help you practice

You two actually got to know each other quite well during this time

So when the rest of the team started filing in to practice

You gave Semi your number and told him to text you if he ever wanted to hang out

You left just before Tendou started picking on Semi for blushing 👀

Anyways you guys became really good friends and would hang out A LOT

So nobody was too shocked when you both decided to start dating

But apparently Tendou and Shirabu had made a bet on it 😅

What They Love About You

He loves the fact that your kind

But will fuck someone up if needed 🙂

He knows he never has to worry about you

He loves that your a fellow musician

To him it’s just one more thing you two have in common

And it’s one more thing he gets to do with you

He loves how supportive you are

Even though you know that semi doesn’t get to play that much

You still show up to EVERY one of his games to cheer the team on

And oh god when he does get to play

I swear people from OUTSIDE the gym can hear you cheering for him

Honestly he doesn’t mind if your a simp 👀

There’s a teeny tiny 🤏 part of him that likes to be babied

Favorite Things To Do Together

Oml he loves for horror movie marathons

He absolutely loves them

Because A: he gets to watch almost EVERY single horror movie made

And B: he gets to watch them with you :D

Oh and he also loves to watch any and all marvel movies with you 👀

But other than movies

He loves to make music with you

Duh

It’s usually you both playing instruments together

But every now and then one of you will sing 🎶

Random Hc

You two write the CUTEST songs together

But you never ever sing them

Like wtf you two

One time semi offered to help you practice your spikes

And you accidentally hit him in the face 💀

Now he swears you have a better spike then ushijima 👀

Your friends mentioned your squirtle smile to him...

And now he can’t unsee it 🥲

Astrology

The security and flexibility they can give one another.

Once they open up to one another and to appreciate their different philosophies in love and in life, these two have potential for steamy relations, deep connections and heartfelt respect.

As long as they communicate and celebrate their differences, theirs will be a passionate relationship.

Both Scorpio and Sagittarius see each day as an adventure and as an endless opportunity to explore, to probe, to learn. Shared escapades bring them closer.

While Sagittarius may get fed up with Scorpio’s stubbornness and inflexibility, Scorpio could be thinking their Sagittarius mate is just a little too hotheaded.

They’ll enjoy learning together, and travel could be very beneficial for this pair.

Their relationship is always on the go!

Mars is the God of War, opening the door for Scorpio’s determined, courageous character.

Mars, when combined with Pluto, represents rebirth and renewal.

Jupiter focuses on philosophy, higher learning, expansion, optimism, luck and travel.

These planetary attributes — of growth, expansion and masculine energy — combine to create a sustainable relationship of mutual admiration.

Overall Aesthetic

90s

No Scrubs - TLC

Say My Name - Destiny’s Child

She’s So High - Tai Bachman

99 Red Balloons - Nena

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu matchups #semi #semi Eita #semi x reader #semi x y/n

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luminousbeansarewe · 4 years

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what are your takes/version of how the sequel trilogy went down? because i also have my own version in my head, not.... that, but im really interested in the ideas other people have had for it

hoo boy there’s a lot of ground to cover here lmao i will try to keep them as short as i can... i also enjoy multiple versions of events and outcomes for the sequels as long as they’re in-character so i’m not trying to say no other version of the sequels is good or cool bc only a sith deals in absolutes amirite? (i won’t apologize for that dumb joke.) first the jumping-off points:

first of all, i fully support Force-sensitive Finn. even if he didn’t become a full-blown Jedi, if the entire concept of the Jedi was reforged and we don’t see him become the kind of Jedi we saw in the prequels (more on that later), i see him as someone who was attuned to the Force in a way that is similar to how i conceive of Barriss; empathetic to the suffering and joy of others. this would drive him to defect from the Empire and fear it, too. i also saw him becoming a reluctant leader for the rebellion, and there’s a GREAT fic which i’ll link here that riffs on the idea that he creates a spark within the stormtrooper ranks and more and more of them begin to defect... which i love

Rey being a nobody is cool to me. the ONE character moment where she became super relatable for me was when she realized how frightened she was of her own Force abilities. but i don’t think she has to be the legacy of Palps to have that. she doesn’t need supercharged powers to be spooked by them in a post-Jedi Order world where the most recent memory anybody has of the Force is Vader. (also Rey being a Kenobi seems more out of character for Obi-Wan than anything else lol he was pretty committed to the ways of the Order even after they were destroyed, plus he already had one kid to furtively watch over... just imo). this also ties into my expansion on the Force.

Poe being not a carbon copy of Han. i think Leia looked after him, found him somehow after she sent Ben to the Jedi Academy and was a motherly figure in his life. i like the idea that he was a little shit, and she’s the one who taught him to turn his reactive defiance of authority into bravery when fighting for the rebels. i think he looked up to her, wanted to be a leader like her. i saw him in the position of generals like Akbar by the end, as he learns to balance risk-taking with steady leadership. I wanted to see that growth, how those leaders are formed, see Leia get to impart her wisdom to someone. (also i fully support Finn/Poe and Finn/Rey/Poe, i’m not a committed shipper so i’m down with no romance at all between them but those ships are choice af and Stormpilot is all Oscar Isaac wanted anyway, so...) plus can u imagine the dichotomy of Ben the fallen son with Poe, the “adopted” son who became what Ben couldn’t? the guilt of Leia for not knowing how to teach her son about the Force, doing better half-raising a nobody who had the same shitty attitude as Han when they met but no Force ability? THIS IS JUICY CHARACTER CONTENT

Rose was given cheesy lines to introduce an important topic: that fighting is all well and good but throwing away your principles defeats the purpose of the fight in the first place (an important theme in the Clone Wars era, too.) she was there to be the voice of the truly little people in the gffa, who we don’t hear much about in the other trilogies. Finn’s sensitivity puts him at risk of the sorrow-to-hate arc i described for Barriss; Rose is there to be the empathy that sustains hope rather than becomes a crushing weight. i love the idea that she might rally volunteers from blue-collar places (like... Lothal, for example?) and spearhead the notion that the New Republic should be very different from the old one, calling out the fact that working conditions didn’t change with the shift from republic to empire and the First Order simply took it to an extreme that left her and her sister with nothing else to lose.

Ben Solo, hoo boy. so here’s the thing, we don’t KNOW Ben Solo. we were expected to want him to be redeemed because he was the son of Han and Leia, and that’s it. that’s lazy as fuck. him killing Han in the first movie (if it happened it should have been in movie #2, that’s how fucking second acts work) was an excuse to shock people, subvert the ‘i can’t kill my own father’ thing, and make sure we knew he was “evil” even though we’re supposed to also want a redemption arc? you have to read the Rise of Kylo Ren comics to learn that he was a) hounded by the voice of Snoke in his head from childhood, manipulated by it, which is horrific bc it’s like grooming... or b) that he felt HUGE pressure as a legacy Force-user to save the galaxy, lead the New Jedi Order, etc. these are much more empathy-generating and we should have learned them in TFA. echoes of Anakin much? which is why i think him being redeemed in a way other than self-sacrifice (which made sense for Vader given his long history of being a terrible person, knowing it was too late for him in the end, and really just wanting to save his son rather than “become good again”) is more interesting than him just falling (which is too much the same as the prequels.)

it should have been Finn’s call, a moment of Truth that held the balance of Finn as either falling prey to darkness or learning forgiveness, whether or not Kylo got redeemed. Finn and Rey working together to get to that point while Rose and Poe took on the military aspect of the Big Finale would have been great. Finn with a lightsaber to Kylo’s throat, feeling the temptation to murder him instead of making him face what he’s become in a meaningful way? Rey trying to urge him away from darkness as she’s been tempted before, but this is the first time Finn’s really been tested, and he was the one who so often reminded her of her own humanity? Rey calling up Rose’s point of creating a new paradigm instead of recreating the old one, of Poe’s growth or Leia’s willingness to take Ben back showing it’s possible? shiiiiiiit

the rest is going under a cut!

SO... given those things as a basis...

there being no scene where Force-ghost Anakin bops Kylo on the head (but you know, more subtly and with gorgeous metaphor ofc) was a travesty. we needed some version of that, also imo that reaffirms that Anakin was the chosen one... as him redirecting his grandson away from that path would be restoring hella balance

Snoke should have had his own fucked up backstory, if he was even there at all. a dark sider fucking with Ben Solo is reasonable to me, but Snoke could have been someone who looked up to Palps as much as Kylo supposedly looked up to Vader. that would have been interesting... maybe there are multiple “nobodies” who are being touched by the Force, just like there always were in the prequels era, but some are going dark with no Jedi to try to convince them otherwise? or, maybe Snoke’s life was ruined by the Empire and he chose to become the beast that harmed him, whereas Kylo becomes the version where you think you want to do that but then realize that it’s just as bad and you still have empathy and regret what you’ve done?

Thrawn being the main military antagonist, since they couldn’t be arsed to make Hux into anything but a sniveling baby fascist (despite his really upsetting backstory of an abusive father, also found in the comics... noticing a trend here?). Thrawn was already established and beloved in the legends. why would you not use him. whY?? he’s like a foil for Tarkin. contention between him and the Force-users in charge (Snoke and Kylo) would have been VERY interesting, esp with the character of Thrawn in the new canon seeing the Empire as a ‘necessary evil’ and now maybe having the potential to make it into something else? how’s JOINING WITH THE NEW REPUBLIC for a subversion of the classic tropes, Rian?????? you fucker????

if Thrawn’s history is “too storied” for a bunch of cowards to "fit” into a new movie trilogy, invent another antivillain to take Thrawn’s place whose history is a little more concurrent with the sequel era... you cowards

Luke fucking off after his failure isn’t out of character IMO. he was THE STRONGEST JEDI EVER and his star pupil still fell? maybe he broke under the same pressure Ben did. maybe that’s what allows him to reach back out towards Kylo and reconnect, admitting his failure. i want to hear more about him cutting himself off from the Force bc i LOVE KOTOR 2 and Kreia, but maybe that’s too much for one trilogy to delve into meaningfully, i dunno

Han fucking off after Ben wrecked the temple isn’t OOC either. i think Han was always a little frightened of the Force, the way many non-sensitives are. I think he was critical as a father, because he was critical of himself and Han is the king of projection. i wanted more of the dysfunctional relationship between him and Ben.

if Kylo kills Han, the scene needs to show more of the fact that Kylo actually regretted it, which Snoke only alludes to in TLJ, foreshadowing his future. i rewrote Han’s death scene for a friend and got a lot of good feedback about it so maybe i’ll post it here sometime. i can get behind a version where he doesn’t die, too, i just haven’t fleshed it out in my own head.

i like the idea that the Jedi Order needed to be remade, and that Luke saw the failure of the old order when he saw Ben turn like so many of the Jedi in the Order did. i like that Rey and Finn might spearhead this, and maybe Kylo’s role is to know the dark side intimately enough now that he can actually teach how it works, how to deal with it... how inevitable its temptation is. because...

in this canon, i don’t think the Force has light or darkness. i think it’s Force-users who do. it is their internal landscapes which cause them to “fall” or be redeemed or not, after all. Finn can attest to the same, so can Rey and Luke... so like, all the Jedi need DBT therapy or something i guess. lmao hold the dialectic, you nerds

the Force has shown time and time again that it cannot be “balanced” so maybe it is ourselves who need to become balanced instead

the Force is chaos, a never-ending series of colliding butterfly effects that to us will always and inevitably be seen as turmoil, cause and effect on a cosmic scale. if you drink too greedily of its power, or try to exert total control over it, by its nature it will consume you because it is beyond your mortal ken. whatever you hunger for, the force will give you more and more of it until you are overwhelmed, drowning in it

this is why peace was a central teaching of the Jedi... peace, the antithesis of chaos, which can only ever be created from within, the eye of the storm which must be sought time and time again

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk? i’m always down to hear other people’s ideas for these characters tbh. and always down to get more into these topics if you want to know more... esp as it relates to the failure of the Jedi Order, or KOTOR 2 and Revan and Kreia, or OF COURSE my OCs because Sol has a very interesting relationship with the Force.

thank you for this ask lordimperius!! ^_^

#star wars sequels #this got way deeper into my meta than i meant for it to but i can't help it #my headcanons #asks #if you read all of this or even most of it you're an actual angel

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wiccamoody · 4 years

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hi i saw you were talking about how the phandom is different to other fandoms and i was wondering if you could expand on how? i’m really interested but it’s my only fandom so i don’t have anything to compare it too 🖤

i promise i wasn’t ignoring you or anything anon, it’s just been a really rough couple of weeks but HI IM ANSWERING YOUR ASK FINALLY

so i’m mostly comparing phandom to the “old school” fandoms i’ve been in. phandom kind of exclusively exists on social media (aside from the forum spaces like idb and gg) and came up from social media. it just makes it completely different in structure from “old school” fandoms. i grew up in fandoms where fan conversation was centralized on forums on different fansites and livejournal, and that’s where most of the fic was posted too. it was easier to centralize discussion and create community, as opposed to now where everyone is fractured into wildly different communities that function in completely different ways to each other.

for example, i truly do not understand the phandom spaces on instagram, facebook, and pinterest. i know they’re there but i don’t get how they work lol. i barely get twitter phandom, and i think i only understand it because it’s a little like tumblr in short form without ask boxes in the way people interact on there (tho i think a fuck ton more vauging lol). but way back when i was in the harry potter fandom in its height, i had a couple fansites i would go between (theleakycauldron and mugglenet mostly) where i would engage in the forums, check out fan art and fic, look for movie news etc., and i would go on livejournal (and ff.net LOL) to read fic. there wasn’t as much fracturing because the spaces were so centralized and everyone just kind of...understood basic fandom etiquette. on social media everyone is about building their persona and showing who they are because that’s the whole point of social media, and social media isn’t sustainable for that “old school” fandom community because it’s so damn fractured. of course there were always big name fans and stuff, but because community and blogging were so stripped down it wasn’t the same as it is now with persona building and whatnot.

of course things are allowed and must change! i just think without the basis of what fandom community was, without having been around for many of the same trivial arguments that have been happening for decades, it immediately sets a different tone. now, for most it’s probably like whatever, and tbh i should probably chill and just ignore it, but my fandom old (emphasis on fandom bc i’m baby; i got up to far too much shit as a young kid online) ass gets so exhausted sometimes lol

idk if any of this made sense, my brain is like. not really working but if you wanna chat more lmk :)

#anon asks

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gayspock · 4 years

Text

dont rb, dont rply

having another fucking crisis at 4am . scream-crying into pillows bc im lonely. throwing up over breakdowns. whats new in the world. whats new. i think i want to try and drown myself in the bathtub maybe and see if that unlocks some new fucking emotion. like its ironic!!!! ironic becoming sick of the monotony has become part of the monotony. fucking getting so agitated u try and freak out on purpose, on the whim that at least it will be a Different Flavour of Upset..... yet eve that becomes part of the normal..... like im..... okay............. i feel myself fucking losing my fucking Mind once more it appears. it so seems perhaps. i fucking cant take it maybe. yet again so funnily enough.i know damn well nobody not even myself has taken me seriously for years by this Point & i can pledge suicide all i wish but we all know the truth is that i end up having a panic attack last second bc im too pussy and then end up. right back where i started having breakdown after breakdown. writing stupid shite in notebooks and on here in an attempt to find some fucking catharsis but ultimately ending back to the cycle of almost but haha unless as i fucking lose all sense of it AGAIN and AGAIN and for YEARS and for YEARS . i still have old writing and shit somewhere the same fucking sobbing nonsense abt how i cant take it any more and its all years old shit freom back when i was 14 abt how i dont want to do it any more, abt how i couldnt take it any more, how it had been YEARS then and its just more and more years now and more and more shitty situation how it doesnt get better how ive just been even more of a failure how ive fucked up everything even more how im ALONE even more now how ive done nothing in the years since but grow more numb and more upset and more tired in ways i was so scared of becoming and then i get back to the god. why dont u kill urself shite again why cant you just fucking quit it and its all such pathetic bullshite yaknow just hot air coming out of some stupid cunt thats like. sustaining so much trouble off of a very simple reality which is “it really would just be better off if you were dead, bro” rather than making everyone sick and tired of it, rather than CONTINUING to be just a nuisance to everyone, rather than continuing to just fucking make yourself even more miserable and endure all of this when nothings ever going to be worth it especially not hehe YOU, but no im quite frankly full of myself nad have to keep fucking twisting it . have to keeep fucking clinging onto the hope that someday someone or something might save me and maybe i DID have some worth after all even though i know i dont i know i really really dont and its a hard dont but im being a fucking baby because despite it being a hard dont i just dont want it you know i dont want to keep thinking about how its all just That. its all just that and its all always just that and im sick of fucking. hearing some shit sometimes with regards to it and its like. the cycle of [redacted] shit kicks in , getting infuriated with yourself in longwinded arguments , and its all so laden with stupid hypocrisy and garbage and layers upon layers of fucking . self-absorbed discourse with my own stupid self thats all spaghetti like yet ive covered all of it ive went round and round and round for, again, years and YEARS and again its all so fucking stupid because . i dont know i think. im a little. its very patronising when people try to say certain things and i Shant be too much of a little brat about it im going to shut my yap Again but also i SHANT shant because god if it isnt . nightmarish like YOU know the. YOU know what i mean god Fuck man i hate. the whole idea that its irrational sometimes i hate the way its just. but i really need to Shut up i think because . literally dont i ever tire of running my mouth potentially not i think but you know the vibe of. what else. you know. like. you run out of everything like what else why dont i just fucking fuck it all up and set it all ablaze which is ahorrendously edgy thought that ive not entertained in a while because im not 16 any more but its very enticing each time you meet the end of the rope (or, rather: realise you were in a haze again, and youve just been here the whole FUCKING time- AGAIN!) that it would be nice to just fuck it all up, the very pathetic scraps you have left for yourself, like just fucking torch the maybe not bridges but the excuses for bridges that you have like just rip apart the very tiny pathetic remnants of YOU because wouldnt that just be .... something. you knoww. at least SOMETHING. after having clung onto them to the point wherte youre sick and you hate them and you hate yourself for how the most you can ever muster is still so fucking alarmingly pathetic that it just makes you so angry and upset u just want to burn it all down because you dont want to cope with it any more. do you know what i mean. i wish it wasnt like that sometimes i wish i could do something right and i wish there was one thing that i could manage that i was genuinely happy with but it appears this train of thought has reminded me once moreof the Bottom line which is ultimately it all just makes me so fucking miserbalee and i dont want to be alive very very much i think because im never going to be enough for anyone ever and i dont know whyor whats wrong with me or why i cant do anyhting fucking right but i cant and im so so sick of trying im so so sick of JUST being a fucking failure and having nothing else to hold onto but some . pathetic manufactured pipedream that maybe one day i wont be a fail at something and maybe one day i might do something right that wont make me burst into tears like thats supposed to be a comforting notion in any regard like thats the only fucking thing i have to cling to well i dont fucking want to GOD fuck shit

#egg.txt #the nightly occurrence of Eggs has a Moment #sui mention #vomit mention

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sawocs · 5 years

Text

I HAVE FOUR NEW OCS theyre Jr. OCs bc they’re made 2 go with Draha and Warren BUT im gonna post lil baby summaries of them all..... YES i have pics made but even tho the picrew maker says edits r allowed i feel bad........ so idk if im gonna post them or not lol *dies* ANYWAYS

all 4 of these dudes/dudettes r Kin (supernatural beings)

1) Frej (it/its + masc; gay)

Frej is an Ekimmu Netrunner.... roughly summarized from the Nightlife guide, it’s part of a race of kin, appearing as a gruesome corpse that’s born after someone breaks a vow to tend to a grave. Frej was twenty when it died in a car accident, and is one of the rare group of Kin associated with Draha who were born after the transition into the cyberpunk future of the 2020s. Coming from a low-ranking Corporate family, its parents abandoned its grave after both receiving large promotions (grief can disrupt corporate loyalty, after all). When reborn, Ekimmu maintain any and all injuries sustained before death, meaning Frej looks rather gruesome— that’s part of the reason it chose to become a Netrunner, living in the world of cyberspace where people only see its avatar; there’s a lot less fear and judgement on the Net. Moody and rash, Frej takes a long time to warm up to people, but it’s close friends with Eumelia. Vega and Cassian can’t stand it— they feel like it doesn’t take its work seriously enough. It and Eumelia share a morbid sense of humor, though, part of their ways of coping with being a reanimated corpse, and in Eumelia’s case being nearly 3,000 years old. When not jacked in to the Net, Frej tends to dress in bright colors and tacky fashions. He has bright pink hair, no eyes (he usually wears bandages over them), greyed skin and multiple large lacerations on his chest, hands, and smaller ones face (a cut lip, a cut on his forehead, and a chunk torn from his ear).

2) Vega (she/her; bi)

An Animate, Vega awoke in a panic and, upon seeing her body, crushed the head of her creator with her bare hands. That was when she knew if she wanted to live any normal sort of life, she’d have to become a Solo. The head of Draha’s entire squad of Solos, Vega is the best of the best of the best. Incredibly strong AND incredibly smart, Vega also gas excellent reflexes and always knows how to keep her cool. She’s close friends with Eumelia because their work often draws them together— with high quantities of cybernetics and regular weapons as well, if Vega ever needs a repair she goes directly to Eumelia. Vega is fairly close to Cassian as well, viewing him as a younger brother (even though he’s older than her in years). Though er body and mind are that of an approximately 36 year old woman, Vega has only truly been alive for about fifteen years. She’s rebellious and antisocial, rarely interacting with humans, even ones within Drahomír’s ranks. She keeps her hair in a curly black undercut, and her eyes are a cloudy white (she relies on cybernetics to see). Her skin is divided in patches of a dull green, grey, and normal flesh-colored, showing the variations of freshness among the corpses her creator used. The thick black stitching has become a fashion statement for her, as much as her ear, eyebrow, and tongue piercings.

3) Cassian (he/him)

He may look like a fourteen year old, but if you underestimate Cassian it will be the last thing you do. A water spirit called an Asrai, Cassian has actually been alive for forty-five years. He lives in the fountain outside Draha’s mansion, and acts as a lawyer for the vampire. Once working for one of the largest Kin-run corporations, he left that job when he realized he’d much rather avoid the ruthlessness of the corporate ladder. The most respected of Draha’s team and the most ruthless, Cassian benefits from the naturally high intelligence and cool of his race. Serious and aloof, Cassian rarely makes true friends, though he is relatively close to Vega, and he tolerates Eumelia. While he acknowledges Frej’s talent on the Net, he doesn’t think it should act anywhere near as childish as it does. Cassian has light blue-tinged skin and often sheds water droplets, with uniform blue-green eyes (no irises or pupils) and shimmering white hair. He dresses only in suits, generally tailor made because his body is both young in appearance and only around four and a half feet tall.

4) Eumelia (she/her; lesbian)

2,897 years old, Eumelia is a Medusa. Born in ancient Greece, her mother raised her within a small clan of Medusae, but a falling out would mean that eventually Eumelia would go off on her own. Much, much older than Draha, she has more than earned his respect through that fact alone— she doesn’t really have any aspirations for control, though. She’s seen men struggle for power and fail too many times. The best Techie in the business, Eumelia can make any sort of gadget or cybernetic implant your heart could desire, often spending time around Vega; they share a love for the weapons of the future. Casual and laid-back, many men who come to her underestimate her intelligence... and wind up turned to stone. While glamoured, she appears as a regular woman with green hair (the style varies)— when not glamoured, she has snakes for hair and batlike wings growing from her back, as well as luminescent yellow eyes. Her dress style tends to be rather free; why should she stop herself from wearing whatever she wants? She’s almost three thousand years old, after all. If she wants to wear just overalls and a bra with her high-heeled boots, goddamnit she’s gonna. She has a girlfriend currently, a Daemon also on Draha’s paycheck, and they’ve been happily together for about ten years. Eumelia gets along well with both Frej and Vega, but finds Cassian a little too uptight for her tastes.

#frej #vega #cassian #eumelia #oc intro

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shellheadtmarc · 5 years

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Connections

fallout bullshit round two, this time featuring zetta reynolds, because zetta is another hugely important person to tony in context and it probably looks like the trashiest shit without the actual behind the scenes context that hasn’t gotten threaded bc mala and i are both slow as fuckin christmas.

okay. buckle up.

+ once upon a time, before the world became chernobyl on steroids, there was a company called stark industries. the owner of said company was tony stark, and moonlighted in a group of extremely unique people who called themselves the avengers as the high tech armored superhero called iron man. tony was atoning for all the weapons he’d built and designed over the years, especially in understanding, through his own brush with death, how devastating those weapons could be. he was also incredibly outspoken against the government and what it was doing with regards to its own people with regards to personal liberties and freedoms. this company - which offered safety nets for employees that did find themselves being investigated by the government in forms such as legal fees - employed a lot of people. one of those people was zetta reynolds, who worked in the boston branch.

+ if tony ever met zetta before the bombs, he honestly can’t remember it. it’s been a very long time for him. her files are probably still somewhere on the stark dataspine, though he’s never gone digging for them. who she was and who he was are people that don’t really exist anymore. that world doesn’t really exist anymore.

+ one of the first things that should be noticed - and actually not incredibly obvious - is that tony and zetta are actually very similar. they’re both brilliant. they’ve answered the fate that’s been handed to them with anger - though in separate directions. they’re both incredibly fiercely protective over the people they love. they have the same sense of humor. they both had super shitty childhoods that have shaped them as adults. it’s why when they get along everyone around them should be terrified, and when they fight everyone should be even more terrified. the major difference between them, surface-wise, anyway, is that zetta is incredibly loyal to the railroad, and tony considers them to be too tunnel-visioned without an “after” plan to be sustainable long term.

+ honestly, they even favor physically somewhat. big dark eyes, dark curly hair, killer jawlines. this is going to be important soon, pay attention.

+ zetta is the sole survivor of vault 111. you know what that means.

+ tony and zetta hook up fairly early on in his time in the commonwealth. and by hook up i mean sleep together. but wait, you say, isn’t tony already probably running with maccready?? yes, i answer, he is! but tony and mac aren’t a thing for a while, and zetta and tony never really are. it’s like…a one time thing. that’s it. in the end, they’re close? but it ain’t really like that between them. they wouldn’t work - tony’s too open in being demonstrative. it’s gross. he loves her, in her his own way, but it’s just not that kind of love. she’s someone he can trust implicitly, and that’s a thousand times better in the wasteland that being stupid in love with her.

+ since this is tony’s companion verse, that’s what he is: he’s one of zetta’s companions. except it’s not fallout 4 flavor mechanics companions it’s more…equal partners in interest with reclaiming the commonwealth. he’s as often off doing his own thing as he is helping her with something - and most of their stuff has to do with the settlements, not questlines. it should also be noted that, between her, stephen, tony, elle, thor, and loki, questlines are split up among them because it’s unrealistic to expect one person to do all of them. anyway, between all of them, they rub their heads together and make magic shit happen in the commonwealth.

+ so. about that one night stand tony and zetta have. see, tony’s tinkered on himself. he got his hands on some institute flavor fev while back in nyc, broke it apart, made it what he wanted, and put it back together (much like 616 extremis) and used himself as a lab rat to test it. friendly, frequent reminder he’s not a super mutant, the same way 616 tony was never a true extremis enhancile. he thought he’d kept the coding to make himself sterile in it. turns out not so much - he’s an engineer, not a biochemist, and there he and zetta are finding out yeah so uh. that drunken one night stand resulted in a baby. she uses stephen as a doctor, because he’s prewar, too. makes sunday dinners all kinds of interesting.

+ quinn is just quinn. their plan is to let him decide what last name he wants to use when he gets older, and between zetta’s bunch and tony’s bunch, not only are quinn and duncan (and synth shaun, because honestly he can’t be forgotten…how did we end up with a set of all little boys how did this happen i sure don’t know) the three safest kids in the commonwealth, they have a massive extended family that include a sorcerer supreme, norse gods, spies, the entire railroad, the minutemen, super mutants, and superheroes. he’s got all of zetta and tony’s smarts and looks, and that means r i f p world when he gets older.

+ they share custody, obviously. i mean, it’s not like it’s a legal arrangement, it’s the commonwealth, but it’s the principle of the thing. anyway, outside of the lovenest zetta built for her bunch on spectacle island (casa del deacon) that everyone’s supposed to stay out of but tony and only then when he’s there to get quinn (if you can’t see tony rolling his eyes about it i need to step up my game), honestly…the whole group lives in…well, i wouldn’t quite completely call it a commune really, but they’re like a neighborhood where everyone on the street is related to everyone else. they come and go as they need to, but it actually satisfies tony’s need to keep everyone as close as possible. sunshine tidings and nahant (the town around croup manor) are the usual suspects, though you’ve got fort hagen, as well.

+ to clarify: after the one whole night, later tony’s in a monogamous relationship with maccready, zetta (depending on verse iteration) is either with deacon? or in a poly relationship with ferran (who is a whole other kettle of fish right there) and deacon. sometimes her husband riley survives the gunshot from kellogg just barely and they’re able to bring him round with the same super soldier serum mix rhodey got popped with before the bombs, using the immortality serum traded to the government by jack cabot. it’s…it’s complicated don’t worry about it.

+ they’re enough alike and work in the same fashion enough that they make good emotional punching bags for each other. zetta knows she can fling everything she’s got at tony and that he can take it, and the opposite is just as true, and it spares some hapless settler from facing the brunt of either of their tempers (because if you don’t think tony stark has a temper i have News For You). on the flipside, they’ve gone through practically the same nightmare and can be vulnerable with each other, though that’s far less likely.

+ zetta reynolds would happily punch howard stark in the face. well. she’d happily punch anyone in the face that has done tony dirty on some level, once he’s one of “hers”. and don’t think for a second he wouldn’t go the mat just the same for her.

ask about muse connections : accepting : anon

#⚛ (protocol: anonymous) / incognito honey you're so crude #⚛ (protocol: answered) / i stole the keys from the sky #⚛ (protocol: ooc asks) / hey big spender spend a little time with me #⚛ (compiler: tony & zetta) / you're my sugar but you're never sweet to me #// listen i love tony and zetta's friendship so much #// would you believe the first thread we ever did with them did not go well?#// because look where they are now #// i still can't believe we decided on the kid thing lmao #// but quinn is gonna be trouble with a capital his mom and dad are tony stark and zetta reynolds when he gets older #// and that's the facts #long post #long post for ts #cw pregnancy

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kurainburdened · 6 years

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POKEMON AU pls.... bc i know ur passionate abt pokemon and honestly Me Too

III LOVE YOU!!! I WAS PLANNING ON MAKING THIS A THING WHERE I ADD IN THE SENDERS MUSE INTO THE HCS BUT MAYA AND YOUR MUSE NEVER INTERACTED WHICH IS A CRIME!!! Dont tell edgeworth or she might get arrested lol. But anway!! I want to do stuff with you!!

ALSO THANK YOU FOR SENIDNG THIS BECAUSE THATS REALLY SWEET OF YOU AND IM REALLY TOUCHED YOU REMEMERED I LOVE POKEMON

Number 1

Mayas first pokemon, funny enough isnt a ghost type, but a normal type. See, in the pokemon verse Mayas background is basically the same. The Fey village is basically unchanged in this worly except for one thing. On a certain part of the mountainside is a forest that travellers tend to get lost in for ages. Many report hallucinations as being the main cause for this so it’s kind of cut off. Maya, being the rebel she is, of course wanders it in hopes of conquering it. Her sister is usually the voice of reason and really it would only take her being like. what if youre lost forever or something to scare her into staying but shes not ther so into the forest she goes! It’s there that she finds a waterfall and goes there to train constantly. She tries and tries to channel spirits and one day, she succeeds! Or so she thinks. The first time she thinks she’s channeled another spirit, she sees herself as the spirit she’s been trying to channel, sees her now-possessed body moving and acting on it’s own. When she runs back to the village to tell her story, she’s told that she couldn’t have channeled a spirit because if she did she would’ve been unconscious.

Confused Maya goes back and tries again only to get the same result. After a bit of investigating Maya realizes the source of travelers getting lost and the hallucinations is due to a stantler. This Stantler saw Maya, this little girl training so hard that it took pity on her, and wanting to help in the only way it could let her see herself channeling a spirit. At first Maya is crushed and upset at the pokemon for giving her false hope but quickly forgives it and thanks it for wanting to help. The pokemon soon takes on this kind of caring role for Maya, along with also being her only playmate seeing as the other girls in the village are kind of distant with her. Her being the heir to the Master title and Morgan instructing them to listen to her and listen to all her selfish desires, leading to them being resentful of her. Anyway, also to build off of that. Once Mayas sister dies, she asks the Stantler to let her see her Sister again. And thats like a thing she did for awhile before telling it to stop because it became this painful reminder of something she could never do which is channel her sister. Actually fun fact she asked the stantler to show her her mother but was heartbroken when it basically gave her the answer that it couldnt because Maya didn’t have the memory of her mothers face anymore. Anyway. One time when shes particularly heartbroken and hopeless she laments in the forest to herself how shes so useless and cant do anything right. How she hates herself for being this way. Hates herself for not being able to compare to Mia or her mother. At this point she sees the image of her sister saying shes proud of her. Maya is angry at Stantler for showing her such a horrible lie and runs away. Only to later be told by the pokemon that it wasn;t trying to make her see her sister say that, rather it was the only way of communicating that even if no one else appreciated her, it was proud of her.

ANYWAY ENOUGH OF STANTLER ON TO NUMBER 2

That’s right another in depth backstory for another pokemon hopefully not as long lol

The next on the list is a primeape that lives in the forest, training with sawk and throh. It kind of ended up getting abandonned by it’s trainer in a place where this breed of pokemon aren’t really found but it’s found it’s place with the sawk and throh so it doesn’t mind too much. It ended up earning it’s respect with good old fashioned fighting and is kind of in a ‘king of the forest’ position. Scary and intimidating and bent on establishing its dominance to all that challenge it! Anyway, while Maya is exploring the mountainside of her village she finds out about it and it’s plain to see that Primeape has a certain amount of respect among the other fighting types. After having seen a cool tv episode where the hero challenges the strongest of the strong a really young Maya decides to do the same, announcing loudly when the pokemon is alone that she’s here to challenge the pokemon to a duel to the death! She runs up throws her small fist at the might and strong pokemon!

To which, not wanting to hurt this strange small child, primeape falls over dramatically, clutching the side which she hit and lets its tongue flop out all goofy in the hopes of appeasing her. Maya, not really sure what to do, honestly not even having thought this far ahead starts getting worried for the pokemon and starts crying to which it quickly gets up in a panic to reassure her its ok. From there it kind of takes on this older brother position with her. Also playing with her, letting her grab onto it as she swings throughout the trees.

Goodness this Maya is turning out to be much more of a wild child than her aa counterpart. She’s not exactly strong, but she’s more athletic I’d imagine in this version. More nimble but can definitely have her clumsy moments on occasion.

putting last three under cut cause THIS IS LONG. IF YOURE ON MOBILE IM SO SORRY

Number three!

Goodness I stuffed way too much into those other HCs but onto Phoenix! Anyway this also remains for the most part unchanged. What you think the pokemon world doesn’t need lawyers? Anyway, quick tanget but trainers arent really…it’s not a sustainable lifestyle, most people do it as a way of coming of age before moving into the respective field they took interest in during their travels. So no, if you have a pokemon au you don’t have to be some professional trainer. Professional battles are like a sport and trainers are athletes. Sure people enjoy it on the side but it’s NOT the norm to make it a living off of it. You have to be smart and strategic in a very complicatedf sport that takes a LOT of training and it’s not like in the game where if you spam tackle after walking around for 5 seconds you gain XP. its more like you’re a coach training 6 athletes in how to train their bodies in the best way possible while coming up with tons of game plans.

anyway tangent over. Phoenix is a lawyer and this taking place in the pokemon world only lends itself towards there being much more factors to consider when thinking of how murders occured. Her life with Phoenix for the most part remains unchanged but as a side note Maya encounters a lot of pokemon along the way during her travels with phoenix. She thinks strong heroic looking pokemon are cool so she tends towards pokemon like sawk and throh or conkeldurr. OH AND IVE BEEN SETTING THIS IN SPECIFICALLY UNOVA AND ONLY RESEARCHING THE UNOVA DEX FOR MAYA ND THE POKEMON THAT SURROUND HER.

I feel like.. Audino might enter theyre little group at one point? Like Stantler comes with her when she leaves the mountain cause Stantler is a worrywart and Maya is a mess and has never been down to the big city, but Primeape is more trusting in Maya and her abilities and knows shes much stronger than a lot of people give her credit for. He doesn’t come down the mountain to be with her until much later just cause he has a pack to guide. Actually the pokemon it leaves in charge is like another pokemon Maya is close with since it was primeapes apprentice and maya and this pokemon were kids together and kind of were the babies of the pack ANYWAY SORRY TANGENT.

aNYWAY AUDINO. A while back Audino were attempted to be integrated into crime fighting in some way since the way theyre psychic powers work they’d be able to sense overwhelming…i guess malevolence or evil or bad intentions but like. It’s just REALLY unhealthy for them and it really signifigantly lessens their lifespans just cuase all the negativity eats away at them emotionally and one of the pokemon, it’s really old honestly like it was one of the pokemon that originally was part of this attempt to integrate these pokemon with the police force and was luckily enough like it survived long enough for them to end the program and it just…can’t endure being around negativity anymore like it’s really stressful so it enjoys being around Maya just cause she is really kindhearted and senstive and good and the Wright office is filled with kind hearted people so it just takes comfort being there. It doesn’t really leave the office though and while it’s there for everyone it really does belong to Maya for the most part.

THATS JUST AN IDEA I HAVE THOUGH IDK IF ILL MAKE THAT PART OF HER CANON

Im kind of just going off on differen points in this one huh. Like the other wre a story here im just like SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS.

Number 4 (where diana tries to stop being ADHD and hopefully doesnt fail miserably)

Honestly you’d think being part of a back of fighting types would make her more suited towards groups and make her less selfish. Spoiler alert. It didn’t If you think Maya is good at making people do what she wants now you shouldve seen her when she was a kid. Though it also means shes got a entire pack of fighting types who will die for her and if you make her cry you better be sorry. and if youre not you’re going to be.

Oh and also dont think that just cause Maya is a forest girl that oh shes strong and knows how to fight cause like. She really doesn’t. Honestly the pokemon around her kind of coddled her and outside of her gaining enough stamina to hold up against running around with her pokemon friends she’s not really….all that much stronger. She doesn’t know how to fight either. She can jsut run really fast and is more likely to attempt more dangerous things that she’s seen other pokemon do cause WHY NOT. She basically just has more dangerous influences lol

Number 5 cause i want to wrap this up a bit

Oh boy now what can i do for a fifth one lets see… see the thing is Maya is basically the same between the two versions of her except for certain like physical differents that I just listed.

I guess here’s one but she doesn’t….she’s not a good trainer. Like her team, right now, is an old man of an Audino. A Stantler that can only do hallucinations and is kind of bad at fighting and then this powerhouse of a Primeape.

The Primeape is a GREAT fgighter but tends to keep to the mountains unless it starts missing her and comes downt o visit real quick. Her other two are just…weak. Maya though is really good at thinking on her feet so she can use what her pokemon do have to come up with some great strategies. Thought his doesnt reall come out unless shes backed up against the wall. See the reason why everyone percieves Maya as stupid and useless is because that’s how she percieves herself. Maya for the most part does what she can in what she think she can do but doesn’t really let her true intellect show because shes convinced shes an idiot. She kind of jokes around with bad ideas but she really is quick on her feet and good in a clutch.

So the only time you see her good skills with her pokemon and coming up with inventive ways for these basically powerless pokemon to get her out of tight situations is when literally shes by herself, there’s no one else to rely on and lives are on the line.

#karumakissed #[ NEVER ASK ME ABOUT POKEMON AGAIN BECAUSE IM JUS TLIKE THIS THIS(TM) ]#HEADCANON「 waxing philisophical power hour 」

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wrecktify · 6 years

Text

barbie ferreira, 23, she/her | oh, them? that’s kayla alves. they’ve lived in carina bay for, like, their whole life. last time i spoke to them they were working at the pier, and if i remember correctly, they’re a leo. seeing them around always makes me think of a wind-up toy, stained silk, and not just double texting, but triple (quadruple if you drive her to it).

A HISTORY

kayla was born on august 7 in carina. she’s the youngest of three, her two elder sisters ten and twelve years her senior. she’s the baby through and through, from the way her siblings have always treated her, to her standing in her parent’s eyes, and, frankly, she doesn’t mind it. she doesn’t abuse it, by any means, but she appreciates the extra leeway she’s gotten from them through her life.

because while her sisters were high achievers in the classroom, kayla’s focus was often somewhere else. it was on the peewee cheer team, or her gymnastics classes, or speech and debate, or the other plethora of clubs and teams she spent her time on. and that, for the baby, was enough. they supported her endeavors, and it became a family joke. kayla, who somehow manages to move on before things even start.

but that was before she found theatre. since she was nineteen, she’s been deadset on finding a place on the stage. she got her first role, jan in the local community production of grease, and she loved the feeling of being a part of the show.

but no matter how many vocal lessons or camping intensives or nights spent running monologues on their back porch, to her parents, theatre was just another fleeing whimsy of the baby’s.

so since then, she’s hyperfocused. she’s dedicated to proving her passion and proving that she can achieve this on her own, staying consistently involved but sometimes, especially when it comes to a career in the arts, that just isn’t enough.

her parents are still waiting for the day she comes to her senses and finds something real to do with her life, or, at the very least, marries in a way that will sustain all her fickle daydreaming.

THE LEGEND

she grew up in the dorado road area right across the street from the actual beach front property. her family still rents out the home in the summer, so she’s currently staying in the tucana apartments while her parents vacation in charlotte, visiting her sisters.

she’s dramatic as hell but like . not in a drama queen mean girl way just literally such a hyperbolic speaker and everything seems like life or death w her but its really not . she needs a nap or some milk or something .

she works at the pier she’s a ride attendant but shes been frequenting the community theatre trying to get some kiddie camp in place that she can have under her belt to put on resumes and stuff she wants to spread ART and CULTURE to the kiddos but they’re like hey kayla maybe don’t make the kids watch cabaret yet

speaking of which catch her down at the community theatre trying 2 run that shit. the director probably hates her by now 2b frank but shes got thick skin try and stop her once she’s got her mind set on something

disaster bi just getting by

shes got money and she knows shes been spoiled by her parents but she genuinely tries 2 be conscious about it there’s just moments where if ur character mentions having a hard time with money she just hard blinks disconnects for a minute trying 2 figure out how she can help fix it but thats just . not her skillset . but shes trying living in tucana and working as hard as she has been is the closest she’s had 2 working 4 stuff herself and shes getting better

the more excited i am for a muse and the longer i’ve spent conceptualizing them the shorter their intro is bc i personally have less 2 figure out and more 2 just articulate which . im obvs stuggling at so feel free 2 ask any probey questions 2 get 2 the bottom of this one

#carinaintro #tags tba

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fireflydunes · 3 years

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2020 Reflection: I basically come back to tumblr annually just to reflect.

Here’s something I wrote in 2017, I’ve answered this every year since.

“Dear future me,

Are you happy?

Do you have someone you love?

Can you drive yet?

Are you one step closer to achieving your goals?

I bet you’re still fat :p work on that yeah?

Oh and please love yourself bc i certainly love the idea of you”. Its November 2019 now. Its been over a year since my last update. Am I happy? The answer is a bit complicated. If you were to ask how my mood was, I’d say everyday it fluctuates between “Okay” and “Content”. I may have placed too high of a bar on happiness there. What does that mean too high of a bar. Do I need to have no negative emotions in order for me to be truly happy. Thats certainly not true; I feel a collective swarm of emotions and all throughout they hit me like a whirlwind. Either a cold breeze or warm fuzziness, it’s constantly washing over me. What’s important is that I hold onto the good stuff, reflect on the bad stuff but let myself feel everything fully and then let them go. This is also much easier written than done; this is my first time reflecting in a long while, I’ve been going to counselling and it’s alright–sometimes I feel amazing sometimes I don’t. I forget that that’s okay. But yeah, I think collectively as a whole, I’m doing really well, I’m no where near unhappy–I was terribly miserable as I’d just started uni and found out too much of my identity was tied to Physics and I’m letting go of Physics because the course just isn’t for me. I still feel disoriented, like an empty slate–not really, I’ve got my values and traits very unique to me, yes, but I feel like something veryy important to me has been taken away. And I do want to evaluate why that is?

Why was physics so important. I’ll explore that in a separate document. But hey, am I happy? Yes, but not how I’d thought I’d be happy when I was younger. I might actually prefer this–being able to take in all the emotions that aggregate something that feels…good. Do you have someone you love?

I nailed this last time and I continue to nail this aspect. Afu, Naani and my sister have continued to remain very strong foundations of constant love and support. I have lovely friends that I love dearly and miss, I met my boyfriend at possibly the best time–it was when I really didn’t need one nor was I looking. My life was so full and rich with love, the thrill of the next step, loads of travelling, love even from my mother and the extended family (an unexpected source). But I was so so full and I had an amazing relationship with myself as well. To then meet someone, that still, added to this was amazing. I was able to fully open myself upto a new type of love and be comfortable with my vulnerability and I love him so much for that. Can you drive yet?

I’m in Canada right now, so I can’t drive here yet ;-; This is terribly sad, I was already an awful driver and now it’d gonna be worse. Are you one step closer to achieving your goals?

In a way, yes. In another way, no. I’ve gotten closer in the sense that the rug has been ripped out from underneath and everything I believe in, has changed. I am in a forest, vast and dense. I am pretty lost–but I am trying to figure it all out. In a way, I feel like this is me looking at what I truly want, without any underlying desire to gain my parent’s approval and prove my worth.

The next part is on Body issues.

Lately, my relationship with food and my body hasn’t been great. It was really amazing the majority of the year bc I exercised daily, I ran everyday, did a couple of marathons, but I did kind of grow endurance and also did some extreme stuff like running 7k after 2 hours or badminton. By then I was at my fittest condition but my relationship with my body, and eating, was still no where near healthy. I’m more aware of it now, and do continue to work on this. But at the same time, I’d like to mention, my relationship with food is not amazing, but my body remains loved and cared for–the extent of it is just something I wish to deepen. I’m gonna skip the next questions and go right to the very last one bc that’s what I want to talk about. I chose to study. I’m in university now, but 2019 was not at all about university. 2019 was about, isolation, finding a way to grow in that isolation. Being surrounded by the loveliest sweetest kids, learing how to live with mom, learning that I’ve so much work to do. I learned how to comfort my mother, I learned what it was like to fully feel good in my own body–which was amazing but always came with an awareness and knowing the danger of feeling so good in a body that looked really good. “Does this mean my fall will be even deeper?” I do want to reach a point in my life where my value and worth are no longer so dependent on image and shallow opinions of others or how I am to be of service to others. We’re gonna work on that. Question for 2020 zuha. Are you living off-campus now? How has that been? It’s End of November 2020 Are you happy?

I agree with me from a year ago, it’s very much not a bad thing and quite normal to be feeling a swarm. I feel varying degrees of happy, sad, upset, hungry throughout the days. I’ve just broken up with my ex after a year and a couple of months in, so I’m learning how to just be okay with this new norm of feeling heartbroken, sad, missing him, and almost each time going through the waves of grief. With COVID happening I think, since March, there’s been a lot of heartbreak, emotional strain, isolation like never before, loneliness...really feeling so alone. I’m really struggling now because that still, helped so much with making me feel not-alone. So I’m also struggling in general right now, haha. This one’s not as well-worded as the others, everything still feels fresh even though its only been a month since. I’m struggling most with my urge and want to immediately be better, immediately be resilient and not really give myself a chance to be in pain, be heartbroken, just be devastated. I’ve said this a lot throughout this post but I think, I’m struggling with this one, haha. I’m trying to find joy in small things now, I think that’s what give you happiness, sustainable happiness. The daily tasks, small things, the interactions with people. Just trying to focus on one day at a time, and small things that might give me warm fuzzy feelings.

Do you have someone you love?

Yes, I’ve also lost two relationshipsthis past year. I’ve lost my first real “I love you” person and I’ve lost what was an incredibly close and loving relationship with my sister. But in this time, my friends have been my family, my utmost support, they banded together really to come lift me up. I feel very loved, and grateful to have them. I’m learning to find peace with how things are with my sister. I’m trying to actively reach out to my friends--I tend to self-isolate and feel like a burden in my relationships. Which is a bit unfair, because it’s alright to admit that some of our actions can be burdensome to others, but people help you regardless and in spite of the inconvenience because they love you. So I’m trying to have a habit of thanking them rather than apologising. Also, yes, myself. A thought that brings me so much comfort is knowing every version of me that existed and will exist, loves and cares for me so much. Looking back at the past me’s I only feel love and kindness and I know a year from now, older me is giving me a hug and telling me everything going to be alright.

Can you drive yet?

I can, and I drive on Sundays or when I’m off to get an errand. It’s really rare though since I’m so cooped up and swamped with uni. UM, big change though, I’m a very calm driver now, I drive very slowly. The reckless driving really was not cute and endangered many lives at one point and I really learned from that. And I think as you grow used to your surroundings as well, and have a shift in I guess, maturity, things just naturally slow down.

Are you one step closer to achieving your goals?

Yes. I’ve also really made peace with Physics: It’s the novelty of it and wanting something absolutely without a doubt amazing. A mix of, i want to do something grand and amazing so I am deserving of my parents’ love, as well as this is definitely unambiguously amazing and so I will undeniably be amazing, special, and seen as such by my pare--you get the point. So the thing now to watch out for, isn’t what profession I choose or careers I want togo for, it’s making sure I’m choosing it not to make up, yet again, for this lack of love and attention as a child.

I had an amazing year exploring my subjects, I’m a complete humanities baby, I love anthropology out of all of them at the moment for the freedom and range within the discipline. It was also really lovely meeting professionals in the Creative Arts, also very wonderful being told that taking that leap of faith last year was brave. I’d realised that this was something perceived by many and also I’d internalised, as something cowardly, so it was extra meaningful to have so many people see courage instead.

I’m also still allowed to love physics, ofcourse, and astronomy and be amazed and awed but also--be sulky and sad and every now and then grieve the loss of that childhood to early twenties dream.

So far the most important thing I’ve learned is, you don’t just have one career, you have multiple, and neither of them are your identity.

I bet you’re still fat :p work on that yeah?

I’m honestly surprised that in 2017 I was so harsh on myself but then remember it was later that year I started therapy for the first time ever. I’m also, not surprised that last year by this time already I’d noticed that my relationship with health in general is a bit strained. It’s not diagnosed or anything in case anyone’s reading, just a general notice of when I’m mentally doing not ok, I eat in a way that I don’t really feel good and this brings about a lot of shame. I also had tied way too much of my identity to running and being healthy. This year, I haven’t done a lot of either, so naturally my weight has changed. I’m struggling with it right now, moreso because of how isolated I am, and the actual comments from the outside I’m getting on it. It helped to, instead of getting sad, to get angry at them. I’ve said things back, retaliated a bit, drawn the line at inappropriate (but not perceived as such in my community) comments. that’s been extremely good. However, it’s been a challenge ever since my dad made such a point of it. This might be something worthy to think on, the relevance of him. But, I think for now, I really am trying to remind myself at every weight I’ve always been weary and cautious of health, internally i’ve been the same person, same qualities, same amazing fun loving all that jazz, I’ve always been worthwhile. That being said, my knee ache is back, my PCOS is worse, my hairfall is terrible--I need to lmao build some muscle, be more active, but in a way that elevates my mood and I don’t tie so much of myself to it.

Question for 2020 zuha. Are you living off-campus now? How has that been? So this was meant for Off-campus in CANADA. I’m not there b, I’m back home, same as every transitionary moment in my life haha. It’s a mixed bag honestly. With COVID, male’ isn’t any better. No where seems any better honestly. Some days are tough, but I feel really touched by my friends, the checking up, the gaming together. It’s quite lovely. Univevrsity has also been quite =, nice but HARSH. Universities have really proven themselves as institutions for profit, it’s really disturbing and saddening, but individuals within have been so lovely and understanding and you really love these subjects and these people far more than anything in Physics kek. 2021 Zu, Nice to meet you. I’m really curious to see where you are a year from now. What would you want me right now to know. :)

#personal #fireflydunes

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the-cryptographer · 6 years

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For the yugioh ask meme - 9, 13, 18, 23, 31!

Thank you!! 9 and 13 got answered already. In my ‘ask’ tag if you’re interested x’)

18. A random headcanon

Ah, I have so many at this point,lol. A lot of them really kind of spring up in the process of writing fic, andwhat I think makes sense and carries weight for that story so *shrugs*

There are some things I more or lessaccept as permanent facets of the characters, hmm:

Things about how Jounouchi’sgang life with Hirutani went, and how it ended. And how Jounouchi feels aboutthat, and how Honda helped and encouraged him in this huge way that Jounouchi couldn’t even acknowledge at the time and still struggles with acknowledging during canon. Experimental sexual encounter with Honda inmiddle school is also one of a few things about Jounouchi’s sexual history that’skind of permanently burned into my brain at this point as something that definitely happened.

Things about how Seto’s relationshipwith Gouzaburou went. I guess you could say I’ve crafted headcanons about how andfor what purpose Gouzaburou intended to mold Seto, and how and where heundermined his own motivations, but still ultimately succeeded. heh, I keepimagining Gouzaburou sitting on a recliner in hell, watching Seto build andopen Death-T and just shaking his head with such disdain. “What is all this? A death theme park? How is this going to monetiseproperly? How is this going to sustain Kaiba Corp? Seto. Seto. Papa taught youbetter than this~”And Seto’s just like, “fuckyou, I can build a death theme park and wear belts on my arms and piss awayyour whole estate and die penniless in a ditch if I want to – you can’t stopme.”Caught between a rock and a hard place, Seto. If you succeed at lifeand work you’ll only be doing what your abuser wants, but if you fail you’llonly be miserable. It’s your choice, with only your life on the line here :v

And, I guess Yami Malik not beinggone from Malik’s psyche post-canon is a headcanon? going from what canon’s seemingintent is in how it presents the end of Battle City, I think we’re meant to thinkthat Yami Malik is and Malik’s hateful feelings are gone(?) But I’m not surehow seriously anyone takes that? idk, I certainly don’t take it seriously.

None of these are fun headcanons,lol. idk, it can be a headcanon that Mai comes into town and treats everyone todim sum, right? Just imagine the whole gang eating dim sum. Imagine Jounouchiand Honda and Shizuka having a chopstick battle over the last shrimp dumpling.And then continuing to fight, over the gai lan this time, even though Honda doesn’t even like it.

31. Favorite duel

Isis vs Seto. It’s just… socathartic, omg. I have so many feelings about what this duel meant for both thecharacters. I like how it really ricochets through Seto’s fears and hubris anddownfall and resurrection, against Isis’s stony and completely assuredconfidence that they are utterly powerless. And how Seto ultimately believes inthe power of something more personal and connecting than just raw strength, andhow that becomes the power to decide your own destiny. It’s just- very good.

The Atem vs Seto duel from Duellist Kingdom, and the Atem vs Mai duel are second and third runners up.

23. NOTP

Ah, I still don’t really think I have any? I have prettynarrow preferences regarding a number of ships, but there’s not really anythingI think in abstract I’m really never up for seeing some portrayal of? In termsof ships I see regularly enough on trips around tumblr and fanfic land that I’mkind of full of mixed feelings on… the rest is under the cut:

I can’t say I find myself super interested in Atem/Yuugi. I don’t reallyunderstand myself, but I’ve even kind of been randomly and viscerally squicked at times byportrayals of them kissing or preforming sex acts on one another (as opposed topreforming sex acts on someone else in each other’s general vicinity, lol).Which is really bizarre, since I’m a big fan of emblematik’s fic and own agrand total of one R18 doujin about them. So, idk, there’s nothing objectionable about it in the slightest. But I seem to heavily preferAtem and Yuugi being platonic in most cases for some reason?

I’m also not really fond of the vast majority of Ryou/YamiMalik interpretations. I’m not really that fond of Yami Malik in a completelyseparate body and as a completely separate entity that’s not at all amanifestation of Malik prime’s emotional needs (or vice versa, really). I kindof consider Malik and Yami Malik a package deal, so I’m not really especiallykeen on seeing one ship dealt with in absentia of the other. And, even if I was,I kind of think Malik and Yami Bakura are better developed characters that canbe used to cover a lot of the messy Ryou ship dynamics, well, better. But- I really, reallylike (platonic or nonplatonic) angstshipping, and I do consider (platonicor nonplatonic) Ryou/Yami Malik a facet of that. A facet that can reap reallyinteresting results. And so I want to see a lot more of Ryou and the Maliks butmaybe not in the way I see the fandom usually be about them.

And, idk, it seems like I’ve had a lot of salty af feelingsabout Isis/Mai. I don’t know. I am (1) very overly invested in Mai being reallytraumatised by Yami Malik’s behaviour towards her, (2) very overly invested inMalik being held accountable as (at the very least) complicit in Yami Malik’sbehaviour, (3) very overly invested in Mai being allowed to never forgive Malikever, and (4) very overly invested in Isis and Rishid being there to supportMalik and be on his team basically regardless of how bad he’s fucked up ateverything ever. These four points feed right into so much that I love aboutBattle City and DOMA, and somewhere in them is a pretty big conflict ofinterest that kind of prevents Isis/Mai and Mai/Rishid from not being superfucked up on some level. And, idk, I don’t really see a lot of super fucked upportrayals of them? Which is fine, I guess? I think my four points up there areperhaps overly specific readings of the text? But they all kind of lead me tohaving a kneejerk reaction against the ships bc my insect brain goes: ‘this ispressuring a woman to get over her abuse and pretend it didn’t happen’. Whichis something I’m familiar as with per my personal life, which is kind ofuncomfortable. Which makes me want desperately to read a Isis/Mai fic aboutgaslighting, and them dealing with dissimilar approaches to their own abuserecovery and erroneously expecting the other to be on the same page, and eventually beingable to understand each other and knowing their relationship needs a lot of distancein places and that’s sad but it still might be something worth holding onto? SoI guess I’m back to shipping it again, except I have to write it myself orsomething, idk.(except i also understand that everyone i unabashedly ship Maiwith is a tiny baby and that has its own potential problems – just ones ihaven’t had to live with? idk, why doesn’t ygo canon have any passionate,hot-blooded adult people i want to ship Mai with? Vivian, you are my onlysalvation.)

idk, I don’t like Mokuba/Shizuka either. except it might befine if somebody convinced me Mokuba and Shizuka could connect on a meaningfullevel that wasn’t just ‘making JouKai drama happen’. and i don’t likeHonda/Shizuka either. except i do like it, because I like Honda/Otogi/Shizukatriad. except I’ve never read any Honda/Shizuka by itself that wasn’t justuncomfortably assuming that Shizuka would get with Honda and not dealing withthe fact that Honda is an entitled lying liar who should question just what it ishe feels entitled to, and why. andwhat kind of relationship he’ll be participating in, and why. smh.

And I have a hard time seeing Atem being attracted to Anzuin canon, so I’m not big on shipping them, but it wouldn’t drive me away fromsomething either? Anzu/Atem: why not? and i used to feel sort of ‘why not?’ but not super interested inAtem/Kaiba. but then I gotangry at antishippers and then I talked to rainstormcolors too much, and now Ikind of ship it. Except I still get the feeling that most people who ship itaren’t really looking for the same dynamic in it that I’m really looking for.Which is, when I think about it, the exact same problem I have with JouKai(except slightly less bad, bc JouKai is much trashier). So I’ve done a 180degree turn here from notp problems to otp problems because for me they are thesame problems. always the same problems.

ETA: Itoccurs to me I probably could have added Seto/Shizuka to this list. Myunderstanding of Seto is that he’s someone who wouldn’t be at all compassionateabout her no-money, abuse, and disability problems. And my understanding ofShizuka is that she’s someone that would take that keenly to heart in arelationship. But, oh noes, once more I have read at least one fic for thisship that I liked. And I kind of like the idea of fucked up Season Zero Seto/Shizuka a lot too ;_;

Thank you again for the ask x)

#ask #save me from this card game hell

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mkmoonchildastrology · 7 years

Text

Archetype Profiles for Nodes (past life information)

Found this very interesting perspective on http://www.radicalvirgo.com/2011/03/astrology-and-past-lives.html

South Node in Aries

Mars conjunct South Node Archetype: The Warrior

Place: England

Time: A.D. 61

I am Bodicea and it has fallen to me to stand up for my tribe. I have to protect and defend my people and when the invaders are in the way. I have to assert our rights and deal with them. I live in the moment - it’s the only way to get things done! None of this past-life nonsense for me.

The past life gift I bring with me is to be my authentic self.

Mars square to the Nodes:

This signifies the need to integrate the warrior aspect harmoniously into life.

North Node in Libra:

The karmic mission is to promote peace, to harmonize with another in close relationship, marriage or business partnership.

Integrated Nodal Axis of Aries and Libra:

This entails knowing when to assert yourself, when to be peaceful, when to be selfish and when to yield.

South Node in Taurus

Venus conjunct South Node

Archetype: The Artist

Place: Lemuria

Time: 60,000 BC

I am Croar and I live close to the earth and nature and am inspired by its beauty. I reflect that love by creating pots and tools, making them as fine as I can using the natural materials around me. I love my family and our animals but my connection with the Earth is stronger than anything. I’m a troglodyte, engraving petroglyphs, and dodging pterodactyls!

The gift I bring with me from my past life is an appreciation of the beauty in nature, and an ability to express this through art forms.

Venus square to the Nodes in Fixed or Mutable Signs:

This creates a greater challenge to express relationship and Art in a wider way which takes into account the needs of a group.

North Node in Scorpio:

My karmic mission is to face the transformative nature of life, including my own fears, and to search for the hero within.

Integrated Nodal Axis of Taurus and Scorpio:

Balance between the material and non-material worlds and to understand when it is time for new beginnings when forms in life are to be sustained and supported and to know when the time is right for endings.

South Node in Gemini

Mercury conjunct South Node

Archetype: The Teacher

Place: America

Time: 1920s

I am a born teacher. My name is Carina and I live in Chicago in the 1920s. I am stimulated by all the exchange of views going on here, and the inspiring architecture. My friends discuss the evolutionary theory of Darwin and the new science of Psychology as developed by Sigmund Freud. Very interesting in theory, but I wouldn’t actually want to go to see an Analyst! I love knowledge, and I love my subject, and that’s what motivates me.

The gift I bring with from this past life is the ability to focus the mind and the mental agility to communicate my knowledge to people.

Mercury square to the Nodes in Mutable Signs:

The drive to communicate can sometimes be taken to extremes or be inappropriate, or result in losing sight of other more instinctual needs.

North Node in Sagittarius:

My karmic mission is to widen my area of consciousness and to explore mentally, if not also physically.

Integrated Nodal Axis of Gemini and Sagittarius:

To master the principle of communication and understand at what point in the continuum information needs to be placed.

South Node in Cancer

Moon conjunct the South Node

Archetype: The Parent

Country: Africa

Time: 1875 A.D.

My name is Ndola. I live in a roundhouse, as part of a community and tribe. I am an elder, right now devoted to my grandson, the newest member of our tribe! I am happy as long as the milk is flowing for our babies. Mother Earth sustains us, and we collectively honour her, in ritual and ceremony. We also use her special plants and herbs for our healing. Whenever I hear our drumbeats, I attune to her rhythms. Our tribe lives and moves as one, trance dancing to the patterns of the bright star Sirius.

The gift I bring with me from my past life is the ability to bring my tribe together.

Moon square to the Nodes:

A need to build constructively the power of nurturing in your life.

North Node in Capricorn:

To understand the need for structures in society, which can serve the needs and emotions of the people.

Integrated Nodal Axis of Cancer and Capricorn:

To balance responsibility and nurturing in a supportive lifestyle for yourself and your loved ones.

South Node in Leo

Sun conjunct South Node

Archetype: Royalty Place: Egypt

Time: 44 BC

My name is Cleopatra and I am Queen of Egypt. Don’t you believe me? I know, you’ve heard it all before. Everybody wants to be me or thinks they are me! But I am really the Queen. Can you not tell I have the taste, and the breeding? I want to express myself and be creative and joyful, and in order to do that I need to be in control of my world and all the subjects in it. My Soul Group is working on divine rights (or diva rights). My leading man Mark Anthony and I, we’ve have had our ups and downs, but you’d expect a little drama in the life of a Queen.

The gift I can bring to my current life is a sense of self-worth (if I can allow it in), keeping the crown jewels of nobility, integrity and self-esteem.

Sun square to the Nodes:

May bring the urge to challenge power in others or in society. Need to foster positive models of power.

North Node in Aquarius:

Working towards ways of being in groups without dominating but in an empowered way.

Integrated Nodal Axis of Leo and Aquarius:

Ability to stand in own individuality and in a group and contribute in a positive way without overpowering others.

South Node in Virgo

Mercury conjunct South Node

Chiron conjunct South Node

Archetype: The Craftsperson

Place: Switzerland

Time: 1850

My name is Hans and I am a specialist precision watchmaker in Zermatt. People don't try to take the trouble to do a fine job anymore, but here I uphold that tradition and hope it continues in generations to come. I do not presume to understand the world, but I know my place in it. I start with a spotless environment--you won’t find any dust in my watches!

The gift I bring with me to this life is the ability to apply myself in my work and attend to detail. My nervous system remembers the patterns of coordination I used in the past.

Mercury square the Nodal Axis

- A need to be more sensitive and alive to varying demands in teaching roles.

Chiron square the Nodal Axis

- Very individualistic. Can find unusual solutions to problems.

North Node in Pisces:

Subtle ways of being, and of giving service. Perfecting the spiritual path.

Integration of Nodal Axis of Virgo and Pisces:

The ability to give service, in the community and in the world.

“Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:

The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,

Hath had elsewhere its setting,

And cometh from afar.”

~ William Wordsworth

South Node in Libra

Venus conjunct South Node

Archetype: The Diplomat

Place: Ancient Greece

Time: 421 BC

My name is Demis. I live in Corinth and try to smooth relations between Athens and Sparta. I can see both their qualities and greatness and feel that I can bring them together. There are plenty of people practising the art of war, but not enough cultivating the art of peace. I love justice, too, having been educated in philosophy and law and hope one day that all people will accept the balance it brings. I am proud, too, of the artistic achievements of my country, which I think are outstanding. For beauty is truth and truth beauty, as you can see on this urn that I have before me. Maybe one day a poet will capture that essence.

The gift I bring with me to this life is the ability to bring people together by emphasizing their similarities, and creating harmony. Deep in my heart, I desire peace.

Venus square the Nodal Axis in Cardinal or Mutable signs

The path of true love does not always run smoothly. Dedicated to working out karmic relationships and to working problems out peacefully.

North Node in Aries:

To develop individuality without fear or guilt. To learn self-assertion.

Integrated Nodal Axis of Aries and Libra:

This entails knowing when to assert yourself, when to be peaceful, when to be selfish and when to yield.

South Node in Scorpio

Pluto conjunct South Node Archetype: The Seafarer

Place: Scandinavia

Time: 1002 A.D. My name is Erik and I am a Viking. I have a lot of emotional drive and energy. Weaving through our local waters, I just have to look into the fjords to regenerate myself. I couldn't live my life cut off from that source like some lands we have visited. I like a challenge and don’t necessarily do things the easy way. The force of the Norse gods is with me!

The gift I bring with me from this past life is to be unafraid of deep water, whether in nature or in one’s own psyche.

Pluto square to the Nodes:

To see the challenges of life and society and not to shy away from them. A bit of a revolutionary.

North Node in Taurus:

Working towards a more creative and constructive lifestyle or spiritual path.

Integrated Nodal Axis of Taurus and Scorpio:

Balance between the material and non-material worlds and to understand when it is time for new beginnings, when forms in life are to be sustained and supported, and to know when the time is right for endings.

South Node in Sagittarius

Jupiter conjunct South Node Archetype: The Explorer

Place: South America

Time: 1836 A.D.

I am Rodriguez and I am an explorer. I have been everywhere, searching for...something. Last year I came across an ancient temple, pyramid-like, resembling something from Babylon. Hidden away behind thickets it was. I'm a Christian but I've always been fascinated by the sacred, where man communes with God or the gods. Anyway, you'll never believe it (why am I telling you this?) but I ran. I ran right away because I couldn't handle the responsibility! It's the thrill of the chase, for me, with temples.

The gift I bring with me from this past life is open-mindedness, especially towards other religions.

Jupiter square to the Nodes:

May have the Explorer Archetype in past lives and may need to balance your restlessness in this lifetime. There may also be residual religious guilt to release.

North Node in Gemini:

The need to focus the mind and develop the Inner Teacher

Integrated Nodal Axis of Gemini and Sagittarius:

To master the principle of communication and understand at what point in the continuum information needs to be placed.

South Node in Capricorn

Saturn conjunct South Node Archetype: The Politician Place: Russia

Time: 1905 My name is Piotr, and I whisper in the corridors of power. But even the whispering has rules. You speak

only when you are spoken to

by someone above your rank. You only speak that which is necessary and the bare minimum and for a serious purpose. Every word is weighed carefully. And information is classified, on a need-to-know basis. Sssh! I cannot tell you anything at the moment. Sometimes you'd think this was an old Trappist monastery.

The gift I bring with me from this past life is discipline, the ability to be measured and work quietly towards my goal.

Saturn square the Nodal Axis:

Being so focused and goal-orientated, there’s a need to remember to keep the heart open.

North Node in Cancer:

Family values and parenting nurtured and the strong sense of the tribe and its needs.

Integrated Nodal Axis for Cancer and Capricorn:

To balance responsibility and nurturing in a supportive lifestyle for yourself and your loved ones.

South Node in Aquarius

Uranus conjunct South Node

Archetype: The Technician Place: Atlantis

Time: 50,000 B.C.

My name is Barbarella.

I live in Poseidia, and I am androgynous, but that might change in the future. I use lasers and crystals in my work, and my group is helping to develop a large crystal we call “the Collider", which has great potential. Tremendous intelligence is networked within the group, and I’m excited by all the new developments. I certainly know the work we do is powerful… sometimes I do wonder about the consequences but brush any such thoughts aside. It'll be fine. I'll just press this button and....

The gift I have brought into my current life from Atlantis is future vision and a love of progress and technological advancement. I have the capacity for dispassionate scientific thought.

Uranus square the Nodal Axis

: Indicates the need to apply knowledge and inner knowing ethically and safely on behalf of groups and society. There is a desire to shake up the existing order.

North Node in Leo:

The need to develop a stronger relationship with one’s own power, the integration of the personality, and to strengthen self-esteem.

Integration of the Nodal Axis for Leo and Aquarius:

Ability to stand in one’s own individuality and in a group and contribute in a positive way without overpowering others.

Confusion is the highest state because it comes just before knowing. ~ Suzuki

South Node in Pisces

Neptune conjunct the South Node

Archetype: The Mystic Place: Polynesian islands

Time: 1200 A.D.

My name is Enui, and I come from Rapa Nui (Easter Island). Well part of me lives here, but I come from other places, too.

We have a mystical consciousness, moving and shape-shifting in and out of different dimensions. As a fishing race, sea creatures are sacred to us, especially the Turtle. I have seven parallel lives, including one on the Pleiades. I can see you find that hard to believe. Why limit your consciousness?

The gift I have brought forward into my life is multidimensional consciousness, a way of being which is still in the memory banks for access.

Neptune

square to the Nodes:

Confusing to yourself and others, but at the same time challenging them to open their minds, confusion being part of the transition state.

North Node in Virgo:

The karmic mission is to hone your skills, be aware of detail, moving away from scattered thinking and action.

Integration of Nodal Axis for Virgo and Pisces:

The ability to give service, in the community and in the world.

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