#jay webs words
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imagine decorating hobie's hair like this!
@the-cat-and-the-birdie This made me think of the post you just made with a spiritual OC
But OMG that'd be pretty (after I figure out the logistics of this lol. His hair sticks up so it might work. Idk I'm not gonna think too hard about it.)
Actually ngl I can't see Hobie sitting still for long enough for you to get this done 😭. HE'D LOOK SO PRETTY THO BUT HE'S GONNA BE SQUIRMING THE WHOLE TIME 😭😭😭😭
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#words#inequality#leftism#leftist#fuck capitalism#web weave#web weaving#george carlin#steven jay gould#writing
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jay ferin as meditation at fifty yards, moving target by rita dove web weave
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imma be real i forgot that emotional dysregulation was part of my disorder laksjdfl
#me having negative mood swings (unaware): the only explanation is inescapable despair#me swinging back to 'huh' (positive): actually nvm i'm good. time to indulge in Self-Imposed Projects#jay yells#what is this webbed site for if not tagposting my random Bad Feelings and then having to see them 2 hrs later when im chilling again#perhaps it is a sign that these usually happen later#yknow. when my meds wear off#where are the wise words of don't trust bad brain feelings after sunset when i need them smh
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Fifty per cent of web users are running ad blockers. Zero per cent of app users are running ad blockers, because adding a blocker to an app requires that you first remove its encryption, and that’s a felony. (Jay Freeman, the American businessman and engineer, calls this “felony contempt of business-model”.)
So when someone in a boardroom says, “Let’s make our ads 20 per cent more obnoxious and get a 2 per cent revenue increase,” no one objects that this might prompt users to google, “How do I block ads?” After all, the answer is, you can’t. Indeed, it’s more likely that someone in that boardroom will say, “Let’s make our ads 100 per cent more obnoxious and get a 10 per cent revenue increase.” (This is why every company wants you to install an app instead of using its website.)
There’s no reason that gig workers who are facing algorithmic wage discrimination couldn’t install a counter-app that co-ordinated among all the Uber drivers to reject all jobs unless they reach a certain pay threshold. No reason except felony contempt of business model, the threat that the toolsmiths who built that counter-app would go broke or land in prison, for violating DMCA 1201, the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, trademark, copyright, patent, contract, trade secrecy, nondisclosure and noncompete or, in other words, “IP law”.
IP isn’t just short for intellectual property. It’s a euphemism for “a law that lets me reach beyond the walls of my company and control the conduct of my critics, competitors and customers”. And “app” is just a euphemism for “a web page wrapped in enough IP to make it a felony to mod it, to protect the labour, consumer and privacy rights of its user”.
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supermassive blackhole ☆ jay park pt. 1
☆ non-idol! spiderman! jay x fem!reader
☆ summary: You and Jay Park couldn't stand each other. But after a drunk makeout session at your university's annual soccer mixer, combined with Jay's secret identity as the city's friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, the two of you are pushed closer to each other than ever, challenging your long-time status as 'enemies.'
☆genre: enemies to lovers, suggestive but no nsfw/smut, angst, fluff, spiderman! au, college! au, so incredibly american HELP, reader has glasses bc it's cute and jay has a lip piercing bc i said so
☆ warning(s) ? many mentions and instances of alcohol (all characters are of age) , this is very suggestive but there is no smut
☆ word count: 13.7k
☆ a/n: my dumbass didn't factor in character block limit when i wrote this shit so i'm gonna split this fic up into two parts... sorry guys :( lmk if you want me to tag you in part 2, also this has a diff style so lmk how we feel abt it 😇
part 2
“Oh, thank you so much, Spider-Man!”
It was a warm spring evening, and Spider-Man had been on his evening city patrol. When he found a little old lady calling for help, who was he to refuse her? Her cat had been stuck in a tree, and she needed someone to help her. Hopping up on the tree, he safely retrieved the ball of fluff.
“Of course, Ma’am,” the superhero chuckled. If only she could see him through his mask, he would be grinning. “Get home safely.”
Watching the little lady’s retreating back, Spider-Man shot a web to the top of a building, and hoisted himself up into the air.
On late-spring nights like this, it was peaceful. He liked the breeze that hit his masked face as he swung from building to building. Around this time, rush hour would be beginning, and all the university students would be getting out. Speaking of…
Peeking over a billboard, Spider-Man peered down to the university campus. His own university campus.
There was no reason in particular for this, but he liked to watch the university around evening time. Most people were beginning their commute home or to the dorms, but campus crime was not rare at all. It could be small offenses like graffiti or theft, but he would prefer those types of things to just not exist at all at a place like the university. And, he just liked to check up on his friends or people he knew, to make sure they were getting home safely.
His eyes narrowed at a familiar figure that made its way across campus. Even from a tall building, he could recognize that head. His jaw clenched, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip before shooting another web and slinging away.
By the time it was fully dark out, Spider-Man had finished his night patrol.
Sitting on the roof of his apartment complex, he didn’t quite want to go in yet. He liked freedom: the physical freedom yielded from spider-like abilities– practically flying through the air– and the social freedom of anonymity. Leaning back on his palms, Spider-Man took a deep breath.
The clouds were beginning to clear up because of the weather, so the moon and stars were extra visible tonight. Clothed fingers creeped up to his neck, carefully pulling up the red mask that covered his face.
He was lucky that no one else casually sat on top of apartment complexes, or else his identity would be revealed.
Jay Park.
The moonlight glimmered on his honey-gold tan skin. The night breeze was cool, kissing his hot cheeks. He ran a hand through his tousled coal-ebony hair, letting his sweaty forehead that had been covered for hours air out.
Truth be told, he was a tad exhausted. It’s not common for the safety of a city to lie on the shoulders of a struggling university student like himself. Throwing his head back and letting dark locks fall over his eyebrows, he let out a huff.
Shit, there’s a party tomorrow.
Everyone liked to boast about the idea of soulmates.
The idea that fate existed as the binding force that drew lovers of all disparate backgrounds together was prolific, pervading in all parts of history. From severed limbs that shared the same primordial origin, to congenital tattoos containing initials, to even timers that counted down every second until meeting, the concept of soulmates has been longed for, craved for, lusted for- for centuries.
Unfortunately, for you, the notion that everyone had an innate and pre-destined lover was a tad ridiculous.
There was no way that you could believe in soulmates.
“Why the fuck are you here?”
But you did believe in natural enemies.
“I can ask you the same thing, Park.”
Tonight was the soccer team mixer, an end-of-the-year party that the university’s team hosted to celebrate yet another exciting school year. Courtesy of your friends, you and your thick-ass glasses ended up attending.
Tonight was supposed to be a nice night. It really was. Junior year of university was a stressful one, and you were more than ready to party all your worries away: you figured that you earned it.
Much to your misfortune, though, there was someone else that decided to attend: the most insufferable, loud, and obnoxious person to ever exist, Jay Park.
There were several reasons to despise him and his funky, tousled hair. He was loud, rowdy, fiery, rambunctious, unruly, uncouth, uncivilized, hot-headed, talked way too much, had no sense of volume, and in your very personal opinion, just sucked. And, apparently, he was a total freak. He would show up to parties and socials, cause a ruckus with his presence, and then randomly disappear. He stood weirdly, and his mannerisms were just strange.
If you could go back and change history, you would have never allowed yourself to even meet such a person. Unfortunately, you two had intersecting friend groups and many mutual friends; there was no avoiding him given your social circles.
It started back in freshman year of highschool. The two of you were sat next to each other on the first day of fourth period English Honors. Your teacher must have seen something that you didn’t, because it was almost impossible for you to even talk to each other. Jay, the pubescent boy he was, would crack a few jokes. You, though, would stare at him vacantly, as if you were expecting him to add on.
“Can you stop talking?” you asked him once. “Your jokes aren’t funny.”
You had meant it in a helpful way.
“If you want to make it funnier, maybe have a set-up and punchline? Your jokes don’t land.”
Really.
You were genuinely trying to be helpful.
The only issue was that, like everyone else in the world, Jay didn’t take that well.
From then until the second quarter, you and Jay would only talk to each other if specifically asked to. You would turn around to the girl that sat behind you, and Jay would talk to the guy that sat diagonally in front of him. And when you guys did speak Jay would be unnecessarily dry, and in response, you would get irritated and snap at him.
When you finally moved seats next quarter, you still managed to see each other around. Too much. Your only interactions were limited to a few judgy glances, and occasionally, glares.
During the fourth quarter, Jay made an attempt to mend your relationship when you guys were placed adjacent to each other again.
Except, now it was your turn to be offended.
“Hey, I know I was a dick and you were a bitch, but-”
“I was a bitch?”
You’d kick his chair in class, and when the two of you were inevitably forced to talk, it’d be short and curt.
Truly, it was the summer of freshman year that really catapulted your relationship into what it was today.
When you hung out with your friends over the summer, Jay was always (and truly, always) there.
Initially, it was awkward.
But when you learned that Jay liked the same band as you– Muse– you thought that you could finally put your terse relationship to an end.
“You listen to Muse?” You had tapped his shoulder one day at the beach. He was hunched over, listening to his music with earphones jammed into his ears peacefully. He looked bemused, cocking a brow at you.
It must have been the way that you said it. Poor, slightly socially-inept you, who, up until that point, couldn’t control your tone of voice. It was no surprise that Jay thought you were making fun of him.
Brusquely standing up, he snatched his earbuds up to go somewhere [Name]-free, grumbling something under his breath.
From then on, you two rarely got along.
“Something about his face pisses me off.”
“I don’t like how she says things.”
“He makes me so angry for some reason.”
“She’s a total nerdo freak.”
“I need to fight him.”
“I need to fight her.”
For the first two years of high school, there was non-stop bickering. Not necessarily malicious in intent, but it was clear that neither of you liked each other.
The closest thing to a “friendship” that the two of you formed was during the second semester of sophomore year, when your friend started liking his friend, and vice versa.
Both of you were getting tired of seeing your friends so cluelessly in love with each other, so you and Jay joined forces to push them together. Secret in-class texting, after-school discussions, shared knowing looks, and when they finally got together on the last day of school, a perfectly-timed fist-bump. As much as you’d hate to admit it, you and Jay Park made a wonderful team.
After that, you were just on your way to becoming great friends. Obviously, not as close as other friends, but it was undoubted that you had incredible potential to become very good friends.
Until one midsummer night.
“You knew that Taehyun Kang was cheating on Isa– with the girl that he swore up and down she shouldn't worry about– and said nothing?”
It was a difficult night. Especially when you had to console a weeping friend on one call and yell at Jay Park on the other.
“He’s my best friend, too,” was all Jay had said.
“And?” You had been incredulous. “Taehyun’s been making googly-eyes at that girl since way before he got with Isa! You knew. You’ve known this entire time and you still-”
“I didn’t know.”
You remembered the anger that began to bubble inside of you. You had spent the past few weeks trying to fix your aggression issues, because it was Jay that told you about your first interaction that got you guys off on the wrong foot. But now, you really couldn’t suppress it.
“Yes you fucking did!” you yelled over the phone. “I know you did. Don’t try to pull this shit on me, Jay.”
He didn’t respond.
“You’ve known this entire time, and you didn’t say anything.”
He had huffed over the phone, grumbling something incoherent. “I didn’t know until a few days before school ended.”
“A few days before school ended?--” You had sunken your teeth into your bottom lip, for the anger that was just beginning to heat up was now rising to a boil– “That was a few days before they got together! You had time to say something– but you didn’t.”
“What did you want me to do?” Jay was now getting angry. “You wanted me to speak up and ruin everything?”
“You could have. You should have. But you didn’t.”
“It’s not my responsibility, [Name]. It’s not your or my responsibility.”
The boiling anger was now seething. “Yes, it fucking was!”
“No, it wasn-”
If Jay could have seen your face over the phone, it would have been twisted with both disbelief and indignation.
“When you and I teamed up to get Taehyun and Isa together,” you asserted through clenched teeth, “there were some things we took responsibility for. And when they got together, we had the responsibility to be good friends. Good fucking people, Park! You–”
You had to take a few moments to breathe. “You had the power– You had the knowledge that your best friend was a cheating bastard that would– You know what? You’re just like him. You could’ve been a normal fucking person and did things the right way, but you lack responsibility and basic intelligence to do so.”
Through the course of that messy break-up, a few more screaming matches between you and Jay came about. Really, it should have been an argument for your friends to have, but you and Jay had had enough of each other. The floodgate that had held your relationship finally broke.
For the rest of your high school years, every interaction would just be blows at each other. It started as subtle, harmless jabs. But over time, those jabs became hostile. Petty actions, like light shoves or stealing pens, evolved into spiteful and calculated attacks, such as purposefully tripping the other or intentionally cutting the other out of a group photo.
Eventually, your friends made up and the break-up rift was resolved, but not you and Jay’s rocky relationship.
The horror you and Jay must have felt when you found out you were going to the same university.
At the present, pushing up the metal-framed glasses that delicately laid on your nose, you could feel Jay’s dark eyes boring into you. Giving him a once-over, your nose scrunched. Once again, you’re reminded of why you could not stand this guy.
Tonight was a soccer mixer. A college mixer. Looking around, everyone was dressed as if they were college students at a college party. Because that’s what they were.
Girls, including yourself, wore small dresses and short skirts with plunging necklines and fat, wedged heels. They did their hair in all kinds of elaborate styles– you tied your hair into a half-down-half-up style. The guys wore ripped jeans, form-fitting button-ups, leather jackets, and if you were a soccer player, the iconic soccer team jacket- but really anything that was casual and easy to move in.
Jay Park, on the other hand, swore a deep-green hoodie with ripped jeans, like the uncultured villain he was.
Okay, maybe you were being biased.
A few of your friends did come in wearing hoodies and ripped jeans, and you did, in fact, come through the door of this frat house with an oversized hoodie draped over your shoulders. But, the difference was that this was Jay Park. Everything that he did was uncultured and barbaric.
“I don’t know why you’re so surprised,” you remarked, glaring up at him through your lashes. You were on your way to grab a few drinks for your friends in the kitchen when you bumped into none other than Jay Park. “You hang around Jake Sim, I hang around Jake Sim. Use your critical thinking.”
Jake Sim was a mutual friend between you and Jay, who just so happened to be on the university’s soccer team. Great guy, but the only thing that you would complain about was the fact that every time you hung out with him, you would inevitably meet Jay.
Jay scoffed. “Didn’t think a prude like you would actually show up to a party like this.”
“Prude?” Of all times to be calling you prude, it really shouldn’t be now, when you were wearing possibly the shortest and tightest dress with the most risque neckline that you’ve ever worn in your entire life. Those thin spaghetti straps were not doing you any justice. And especially because you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes would linger around your silhouette. “Who’s the one who hasn’t been laid in months? Who’s the one with the worst box-dyed hair on the entire campus? Who’s the one that lacks any social awareness and says the most uncomfortable shit in a voice at 260 fucking decibels? Who randomly disappears? Who moves around like a goddamn insect?”
“That’s not even fucking true!” The man waved his hands in front of himself defensively. “God, you’re so fucking annoying.”
“I’m annoying? You’re the creep that follows me around everywhere.”
“You said it yourself! We have a mutual friend so we always end up-”
“Yeah, but I get the feeling that we end up in the same places because you choose to follow me-”
“I can assure you that no one wants to follow your nerdo freak ass-”
“Oh wow! How creative. You’ve been calling me that since we were fourteen–”
“Because that’s what you are! A nerdo freak that can’t do shit–”
“Why are you even here? You always have that job that you leave to-”
“Hey, hey, hey, party people!” a new voice interjected.
Jake Sim, your mutual friend, with sleek sunglasses resting on his nose and a beer in his hand, suddenly appeared between your arguing bodies, throwing an arm around each of you.
“Jakey!” you exclaimed.
“‘Sup.” Jake was a suave guy, not a wonder that so many people liked him. “What were the two of you talking about? Looked like you were having fun!”
Jay cringed, his lips curling. Of all words, ‘fun’ would be the furthest from a good descriptor of your interaction. You seemed to think the same.
“Nothing,” you said through clenched teeth and brief glare to the ebony-haired man.
Jake frowned. “Awww, don’t tell me you guys were fighting again!”
You and Jay locked eyes.
‘Don’t you fucking dare,' his eyes said.
‘Wasn’t going to,’ yours replied.
Jake Sim was a sociable guy. Unfortunately, it made him a little obsessed with making everyone get along. So when he found out that you and Jay deeply disliked each other in junior year of high school, he made it his life’s mission to make you get along.
Didn’t work. It really only made you hate each other more.
“We weren’t,” Jay affirmed, swiping a tongue over his pierced bottom lip.
When Jake cocked a brow, you added, “Yeah, we weren’t.”
When Jake left you two alone again, there was a thick silence that fell over you (as silent as a rowdy college party could get). You took your drink, and turned to leave.
“Go fuck yourself, by the way,” you spat.
There’s many issues with college parties. A few hundred bodies of sweaty late-teen-early-twenty-somethings all squished together in a single frat house with alcohol and drugs was just a recipe for disaster. Alas, that was simply the college way.
To Jay Park, other than the fact that there was, ahem, usually the presence of people that he didn’t like at college parties, there was the fact alcohol was practically everywhere. No matter how many times he could vow to not drink on one particular night, he always ended up slightly buzzed or full-out drunk.
Like right now.
It was late into the night, but the party hadn’t died down even a little bit. His friends pulled him onto the dance floor. Normally, he would scurry off, probably scared that he might lose control of his spider abilities, but with the booming techno music, blinding LED lights, and alcohol that had happily found its way into his system, Jay’s mind was completely hazy. He could barely feel his own feet below him.
The next thing he knew, there was a body up against him. Definitely smaller than him, but plush and soft, moving fluidly to the music. His mind was completely fuzzy, but Jay could smell a familiar scent. Sweet and almost citrusy, like a summer orange. His arm slithered around the person’s waist, pulling them closer to his own body. His fingers found themselves snaking toward the person’s hip. His larger hands gave it squeeze, earning him a barely-audible squeal.
If only he knew that the person was you.
Maybe it was the alcohol getting to him, but he felt a shock of fervor and excitement rake through his body.
Bodies moving closely together, he could feel a ghost of your warmth where there was clothes; where clothing was, he could only feel a touch of warmth.
Jay could feel everything, thanks to his heightened spidey senses and the alcohol. Every motion of your body against his, every breath you took. Which is why even when intoxicated, he could clearly hear the song change from techno to punk rock– Muscle Museum by that one band he’s liked since freshman year of highschool. Muse, was it?
“Fuck, I love this song,” he heard you mutter in your own tipsy state.
Jay was sure you couldn’t hear him, but he slurred back, “Me too.”
His hands explored.
A bare thigh, soft and creamy. An exposed neck, an unclad arm, an ample uncovered chest. Something metal on your face– a piercing? glasses? You must have been wearing jewelry, because he could feel cold metal hanging from your neck and splaying across your chest.
(The amount of practice it took for him to be able to ensure no sticky webs came out of his palms was out of this world. Sober Jay would have been a little more careful, but it was a good thing that he practiced so much.)
When his hand gave your waist another squeeze, something must have clicked in your mind, because you slid your arms around his neck, turning your body to press your chests together. Pedicured fingers ran across his chest through the fabric of his hoodie, ending up at his shoulders. Another jolt of warmth and electricity coursed through his veins.
Jay’s head was way too blurred to really take a look at you in front of him, but again, that familiar scent filled his senses.
When the lights dimmed and music slowed, you rested your head on his shoulder. He could feel your breath fanning against his neck, lip brushing against his skin. Your lips were half-moist; it must have been gloss that made it sticky, but there was a hint of dryness that he could tell was from being swollen– you were biting your lip so much it was becoming swollen. A warm chill rushed down his spine.
How drunk was he at this point? He didn’t care, because the next thing he knew, he was pushed up against a wall in a dark hallway.
“Fuck, you’re so hot,” he muttered under his breath, as you shoved your pedicured hands up his hoodie and played with the belt loops of his ripped jeans. Throwing his head back against the wall, he heard you giggle, before you ghosted your hand over his lower abdomen, effectively sending waves of warmth down his body. He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, flinching. He cursed his spidey senses for making him so sensitive to touch. “Don’t fucking do that- don’t tease me.”
He heard another giggle, before he felt a few nimble fingers grasping his chin gently, pulling his face down for a better reach.
It was a soft, but crazily attractive, voice that whined in his ear, “But you’re so cute like this.”
And then you continued, slipping your hand up and down his bare abdomen, occasionally stopping near his collarbone to tug on the metal necklace that laid so delicately. Meanwhile, you pressed open-mouth kisses on his neck, eliciting the softest sighs of satisfaction.
Truth be told, Jay had no idea that it was you who was all pressed up against him, but for some reason, the fact that he didn’t know turned him on even more.
The wet kisses, which he was sure left sparkly pink traces of lip gloss, littered all over his skin, trailing from the part where his jaw and ear met, to his collarbones, to his Adam’s apple, and finally, to his chin.
With a squeeze to his bicep, you gently cupped his cheek, pulling him closer. With an experimental hand, you swiped your thumb over his bottom lip, pressing onto the cold metal piercing that adorned his lip.
It was a dark hallway, but it was now that Jay noticed the light that reflected off of your glasses’ lens. When he tried to look for your eyes, he was only met with the sleek shine that reflected off your glasses.
“Let me kiss you,” you purred into his ear as you ran your thumb over his lips. It was now that he could smell the tequila from your breath. “Please?”
Jay, all in his equally-drunken glory, threw his head back again against the wall, making a thud sound. “Fuuuuck,” he cursed under his breath. “Yeah. You’re hot.”
You giggled. You gave his lip piercing one more tap of the finger before entangling your hands in his dark hair, giving it a soft tug. It was a good thing that he was pushed so close against a wall, because Jay swore his knees were going to give out.
“Thank you, baby.”
You gave his hair another tug, staring straight into his eyes. The half-panicked expression that spread across his face made you crack a small grin of satisfaction, and Jay felt embarrassed under your gaze. Gently holding his face, you pressed soft butterfly kisses along his jawline before you ended up at his chin. You pulled him closer so that your chests were pushed all the way against each other, the majority of your weight on him against the wall.
Jay swiped a tongue over his lip, sucking in a sharp and shallow breath. His chest rose and fell, swallowing so hard in anticipation that his Adam’s apple bobbed. You brushed your nails along his bicep before clasping hands with him; in a swift movement, you pinned his hands flat on the wall next to his head.
The gap between your faces was closing. You were only a few inches apart at this point. Hot breaths and glassy eyes.
Hands still pinned against the wall, Jay could not tear his eyes away from that glossy sheen on your glasses. He wanted so badly to see your eyes, lock onto them. Usually, the inability to see someone’s eyes would make a kiss less appealing, but for some reason, it only made things more intimate for him. Combined with the darkness and intoxicated state, the anonymity was a turn-on.
Almost as if to tease him, you peppered soft kisses along his chin and around his lips. Freeing his hand from your grip, Jay snuck it around your waist, pressing you all the way up against him. He could feel every curve and divot of your body now; with the softness and plush skin, he wanted to explore it once again with his touch. His big hand traveled down your waist to your hips, caressed your ass, and ended up on the backside of your thigh. He freed his other hand to do the same, resulting in two hands on your thighs.
Jay parted his lips, peering down at you through lidded eyes. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest.
The music had faded in the background, but his heart pounded to the beat of the slow R&B.
Ba-dum, ba-dum.
So close. You were so close.
Ba-dum, ba-dum.
Sliding his hands up your back to your shoulders, Jay gave it a squeeze. In a swift movement, he flipped your positions around, pushing you gently against the wall and placing a flat palm above you head.
Ba-dum, ba-dum.
You giggled, grappling for his hair once again.
Again, he could smell that sweet, citrusy scent.
Ba-dum, ba-dum.
Jay leaned in.
There was a sort of tenderness—intimacy— that he suddenly craved for. Closing that gap, having skin on skin, lip to lip, he needed it.
Ba-dum, ba-dum.
If he just got a little closer… a few more centimeters, and your lips would-
Beep beep!
What-
Beep beep!
Bewildered, Jay flinched back.
It was his watch, which lit up the dark hallway.
You held his bicep, trying to pull him back in. He resisted.
Beep beep! Time to go! his watch went on.
“Baby,” you breathed. “Is everything okay?”
Jay bit his tongue. As sensible as an intoxicated person can be, his eyes narrowed at his glowing wristwatch.
Fuck.
“I-I have to go.” Jay pushed off the wall, turning toward the hallway entrance. He was feeling dizzy.
“What? But-”
He eyed his watch, which was now glowing a red color.
“Shit, shit-” He turned over his shoulder, slurring out, “I’m so sorry.”
He couldn’t see your face but he could feel disappointed and confused eyes boring into his back.
On his way out of the frat house, Jay took a bottle of water and chugged it, sobering up (though still feeling shitfaced and nasty). He rushed out of the house, and the moment he stepped out onto the pavement, his phone rang.
“What happened this time, Jungwon?” he grumbled into his phone, still catching his breath. His hand came up to touch his neck. Even out here and sobered up, he could still feel the sticky kisses pressed against his skin, setting his cheeks aflame against the cold night air.
On the other side of the phone, a childish voice spoke. “Doctor Discotheque!”
“What?”
He heard a huff. “Doctor Discotheque! Remember? That villain guy! He’s here!”
Jay scoffed. “Where’s ‘here’?”
“At home, you dummy!”
Sometimes, Jay wondered why he employed his eight-year-old kid brother, Jungwon, or Wonnie, to help him with his Spider-Man endeavors. Given the fact that the kid was literally eight years old, it might have been a little pathetic to enlist the help of someone who couldn’t even do basic math. But honestly, Wonnie was the best he had– the kid was terribly excited to find out that his big brother was a superhero and he promised not to tell anyone only if Jay 1) told him everything that happened (correction: everything cool that happened, the kid didn’t want to hear about helping old people use the subway) and 2) let him be intel. There wasn’t much a grade-schooler could do to be a valuable informant (what was Jay going to let him do, run around the street at night?), but he sure did have a lot of time on his hands.
“Okay, okay,” Jay rubbed the scar on his nose. “Where at home? Like, in the complex? Outside?”
“Two floors below us.”
“What.”
Just as Jay was outside the general vicinity of mixer-goers, he heard a slew of heavy footsteps and then suddenly felt two arms wrap around his torso.
“What the-”
A very, very, very familiar voice began sobbing into his back. “Why’d you leeeavvvvveee?”
You.
You tightened your hold on him, burying your face in his hoodie-clad back. “Whyyyyyyyyyy?” you drawled.
“The fuck-?” Jay, cringing into his skin, tried to pull away. However, his nose picked up a scent that he was more than mortified to recognize. It was sweet and citrusy. And when his eyes caught the outline of your metal-framed glasses and the illumination that was strewn across the lens, all hell broke loose.
“Jay?” Wonnie’s voice called over the line. “Jay! Spider-Man! Is everything okay?”
“Hold on-” Jay replied. “Fuck, just give me a second.”
You, [Name] [Last Name], possibly one of the most insufferable people ever, was the one that he was all over just five minutes ago. You were the one that had him pressed up against the wall. You were the one that was touching and kissing him all over. You were the one that sent chills down his spine. You were the one that he was minutes away from taking into a spare bedroom and-
He sucked in a sharp breath. Not the time to think about that.
Now that he had soaked in the fresh air outside the frat house, the smell of alcohol was strong on your person. It consoled him that everything happened because both of you were drunk, at least.
“[N-Name],” he muttered. “[Name], let go.”
You were fuckfaced drunk, holding and clinging onto him like your life depended on it and wailing. Jay never thought that he’d find a day where you would be like this to him.
“I want youuuuu,” you slurred. “Come baaaaack insiiiideeee.”
“Jesus Christ, you college kids,” Wonnie clicked his tongue on the other side of the line. “Get a room.”
“Shut it,” Jay spat. Turning his attention to you sobbing in his arms, he figured that you had no idea that the person you were all over was him. If you did, you would be kicking and screaming at him.
As much as he needed to go, he didn’t feel great about leaving a drunk woman (no matter how much he disliked you) alone at night at the side of a road.
“[Name], where are your friends?”
You sniffled. “I don’t knowww.”
Jay huffed. He couldn’t find your phone, and he wasn’t going to hang up on his brother– who he honestly really needed to get to, like, right now.
He had a few options: fail at his job as Spider-Man by leaving a drunk woman unattended, go inside and physically look for your friends which will delay him going to Wonnie, or take you home himself. He did not have a lot of time.
Which is why he was currently carrying you, his worst enemy, bridal style as he shoots webs across the sky, all the while being on call with his kid brother.
“When are you getting home again?” Wonnie asked.
“Give me, like-” Jay looked around the city- “Five minutes.”
A lucky feat of being Spider-Man was that he had incredible speed and agility.
It wasn’t going to take much longer to get to your apartment, which he now realized was very close to his own apartment complex.
Actually, he was heading straight towards his apartment complex.
Weird.
Maybe yours is the one behind it?
Nope, there’s just an old construction site behind it.
Wait, so then where’s your apartment…?
Oh my god, you lived in the same apartment complex as him.
Speaking of, you were asleep in his arms.
“Won, what is Doctor Discotheque doing?”
“Having tea with our downstairs neighbors.”
“What?”
“What kind of question is that?!” Wonnie yelled over the phone. “He’s a supervillain! What do you think he’s doing? Wreaking havoc, duh!”
Jay took a deep breath so as to not yell back at this kid. “Yeah, I know. What in particular is he doing?”
“He’s being rude to the apartment staff.” When he was met with a judgmental silence, Wonnie groaned. “I’m serious. I think he’s waiting for you. He’s just being super mean to people right now.”
Damnit.
Jay took a look at the unconscious you in his arms. “Wonnie, I’m going to drop someone by the balcony. Take her in, will ya?”
Before Wonnie could blow up on him for bringing a ‘her’ home, Jay brusquely said, “I’m going down to kick Doctor Discotheque’s ass.”
Of all things in the world, you did not expect to wake up in Jay Park’s bed.
The next morning, you woke up with probably the worst headache you’ve ever had. You were never one to drink, but maybe the university stress was really getting to you. Groaning, you sunk your face into the freshly-washed white sheets. All seemed normal, until you realized a few things:
First, who took you home last night? You had no memory of anything that happened at the mixer that night. If you thought about it hard, you could probably remember getting ready for it, meeting some, ahem, unpleasant people, talking to a few friends… and really nothing more. In fact, the bedroom you were in right now didn’t look like it belonged to any of your friends.
Second, you were still in your clothes from last night. And makeup. And hair.
How did you get home last night?
This was probably the worst hangover you’ve had in a while. Nevertheless, when you realized that there was talking outside the room, you got out of bed to investigate.
Which led you to possibly the worst thing to ever witness.
Jay Park, with wet hair, shirtless on the couch.
The shrill scream you let out was enough to get a complaint from the neighbors.
“Oh my fuck, calm down,” Jay, in all his bitch-faced glory, rolled his eyes.
“You- You want me to calm down?” You were scandalized. Horrified. “You’re literally- You’re-”
“This is my house,” his eyes bored into you. “I can do whatever I want.”
“This- This is your house?”
He blinked. “Yeah.”
There was another ear-splitting scream before Jay convinced you to sit down so he could explain.
“You don’t need to sit so far away from me,” Jay dead-panned when you sat at the very edge of the couch.
“I don’t want to be near you,” you murmured.
“That's rich coming from someone that was all over me yesterday.”
The utmost and utter horror painted across your face was nearly laughable.
You?
All over Jay?
Was that why you woke up in his home…? In his bed?
“Oh my god,” you clasped a hand over your mouth. “Did we…”
“No.”
You breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
“Then how am I here then?”
Jay sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth.
If you weren't completely stunned into silence from the fact that you woke up in Jay Park’s bed, then you were now. Jay recounted a rather detailed account of what happened the night before– the two of you got drunk, and ended up more than touchy with each other. Your face heated up, with both embarrassment and… anger?
Frowning, you asked, “Then why’d you bring me home?”
“You were crying and begging me to come back inside with you, but I had to go.”
You glared at him, crossing your arms.
“Go on.”
“I wasn’t going to leave you out there drunk, you know,” Jay shrugged. “I was going to bring you to your apartment, but I had to fight– I mean– Spider-Man had to fight some.. Um, villain downstairs.”
You nodded slowly, but skeptically. Sensing your cynicism, Jay added quickly, “You can check the news. The fight was on the seventh floor.”
Your ears perked up. “Seventh floor?”
“Yeah-”
“That’s where I live.”
Jay’s eyes widened a fraction. “Shit.”
A great thing about being Spider-Man was that he was technically a government worker, a public service provider. The government paid for all the casualties caused by his work, luckily. Gone were the days that he’d be considered a masked menace.
As great as this was, it led to Jay being more or less reckless. Not that he was throwing shit around and purposefully breaking property when protecting citizens, but he had the freedom to do whatever was necessary. If he had to break down walls to save people, then so be it.
Speaking up, Spider-Man went a little.. Err… crazy last night. Maybe it was the alcohol still lingering in his system, or the fact that Doctor Discotheque the supervillain was literally insane. Safe to say, when fighting in the hallway of the seventh floor, Jay got a little aggressive and broke a few more things than usual.
If you found out that he-- Jay-- was Spiderman, a.k.a. the one that probably damaged your home, he’d be dead. Luckily, you wouldn't find out. Unluckily, your apartment was among those that were damaged last night.
“Can you stop that?” Jay said.
There were many reasons that Jay Park deeply disdained you. You were nit-picky, snobby, arrogant, pretentious, overly-critical, fussy, and extremely judgmental. Everyone thought you were some sort of genius, and he could tell that you liked the fact that they did.
“I’m fuckin’ stressed,” you spat as you paced around the floor. “I don’t think I can really ‘stop.’”
Not that he was a sick person, but the expression of genuine distress spread all over your face was almost satisfying. But then Jay realized the situation you were in and he knew it was his fault, so he felt just a little bad.
You lost your phone last night, and your apartment was more than a little damaged, the entire seventh floor being tarped and taped off. Sitting on the couch, you chewed on your bottom lip. It wasn’t even noon yet. Given your group of friends and the events last night, it wasn’t likely that any of them were awake at this time. And you didn’t have your phone- it wasn’t like you could just easily phone someone that wasn’t there last night.
You had a massive headache, feeling lightheaded with a throbbing sensation up there. You felt gross, with smudged makeup and the same tiny dress from last night. You could definitely walk to a friend’s place and wait there, but the heels you wore last night were the tallest, most painful, party-purposed stilettos. You were absolutely not walking around the city in those shoes.
The worst part about it all was that you were stuck in the apartment of none other than Jay Park.
Could you appreciate the fact that he looked out for you by taking you home? Yeah, sure.
But could you stand him? Absolutely not.
“Why are you walking around like that?” He was getting persnickety, as payback for all the times that you’d been nit-picky towards him. “You’re going to ruin my floorboards.”
You sent him a glare. Some empathy would be nice, you thought, rolling your eyes.
There really was only one person that was accessible to you if you wanted to get out of here, and it was Jay himself. You never really thought that there would be a day where you would need to ask for his help, but here you were, practically stranded. Speaking of, he was ignoring you, occasionally looking up from his phone to give you a weird look.
If you wanted to go home, you would need to swallow your pride and just ask for help.
You prided yourself in your ability to be blunt. You were a natural leader, ambitious and aggressive. You never had an issue with announcing your wants or needs. But now faced with the piercing silence of Jay Park, you simply could not open your mouth to speak. It wasn’t like you couldn't ask him, but that you wouldn't. Curling your lips, you let the glum, nearly shameful, feeling fall over yourself.
Eyes tracing the man’s outline carefully, you swallowed the lump in your throat.
‘[Name], you can do this,’ you recited to yourself. ‘You can do this. Just talk to him, just talk to-’
You pressed your lips together, before taking a deep breath and opening your mouth to speak. As you attempted to say his name, no sound came out. When he glanced up at you suspiciously,you quickly averted your gaze and closed your mouth.
When he looked away, your eyes flickered back to him, simply drilling into him. You licked your lips. For the second time, you opened your mouth to say his name, bracing yourself for the sound of your voice, but Jay spoke before you did.
“What are you looking at?”
You stood up straight like a board, pushing up your glasses clumsily.
“I- Well-”you cursed yourself for stammering. You never stammered like this. “I…”
He looked at you expectantly.
Your ego, that fat chunk of an ego, was crumbling.
“Park,” you brusquely said.
He leered at you. “What?”
You stared at him awkwardly, lips pressed into a line as thin as paper. “I… I.. um.”
He clicked his tongue impatiently. “On with it.”
You huffed loudly.
“Can I please use your phone?”
The second last thing that you expected to happen ever was to be sitting on Jay Park’s bed with wet hair wearing his hoodie and sweatpants. And that other than asking him for help.
Never have you felt so ashamed of yourself, sitting on the soft bed with your knees up to your chest.
The judgy glance that Jay gave you was absolutely soul-crushing, and after a humiliating stutter-filled explanation, he simply said, “Go take a shower.”
Were you initially mortified? Absolutely. But after soaking in the warm water for a few minutes, you begrudgingly thanked him. But only in your head.
Staring at a spot on the floor, you pressed your face into your knee, reflecting upon everything that had happened. As you were lost in thought, what startled you was a loud beeping sound, the slamming of a window, and yelling. You jumped to your feet in reaction, but before you could creep out of the bedroom, someone else came in.
Instead of a tall, well-built man with black hair, it was a young boy no older than ten holding a massive walkie talkie.
“Who- Who are you?”
The boy blinked owlishly, before cracking a grin. “Oh, it’s you!”
You recoiled. “Wh-What?”
“You’re the lady from last night!” he laughed, revealing sharp canine teeth. When you only looked more bewildered, he continued, “The lady that Jjongsaeng brought home last night!”
Jjongsaeng? “You mean Park— er, Jay?”
The boy frowned. “He didn’t tell me he had a girlfriend,” he murmured to himself quietly, before turning over to you. “Mhm!”
“I’m sorry, who are you?” You were a little concerned. Who was this child and why was he in Jay Park’s apartment?
“Oh!” The boy laughed again, throwing his head back. He came closer to you, extending a small hand towards you. “Jungwon! But just call me Wonnie!”
Okay, but your question wasn’t answered exactly. “Are you…” you took a better look at Wonnie. He was just so small! Though, he looked an awful lot like Jay Park… – “Are you his son… or…?”
The boy put an offended hand over his chest, scowling deeply.
“Son?” he gawked. “I’m his brother!!”
Your lips formed an ‘o.’
“And what’s your name?” Wonnie looked at you curiously.
“[Name] [Last Name]– Just– Just call me [Name].”
A silence fell over you two.
“Do you- Do you know where your brother is?” When Wonnie gave you a suspicious look, you quickly added, “I need to use his phone.”
He gave you another long stare, before saying simply, “He’s not here.”
How could he not be here? Jay was just here, like, twenty minutes ago? “What do you mean?” you narrowed your eyes.
“He-” Wonnie’s large eyes hovered over to the window quickly, before fluttering back to you. “He went to work.”
“Doesn’t he have a night internship?”
Wonnie grumbled something under his breath, almost looking stressed, gripping the walkie talkie. “Yyyyyessss,” he nodded slowly. “But he has a day job too…. As an.. Um, photographer?”
You nodded slowly. “Right. When do you expect he’ll be back?”
Wonnie glanced at the window again. “In, like, fifteen minutes-”
Crash!
You two rushed over to the living room window, peering across to the construction site behind the apartment complex. There, there were news reporters, blaring ambulances and police cars, and rubble and dust everywhere. Not to mention the elephant in the room: Spider-Man and two criminals.
“Oh my god, is that Spider-Man?”
Wonnie didn’t seem as impressed as you, opting to toy with his walkie talkie. “Yeah, he’s here all the time. Cool guy.”
You frowned. You lived only a few floors down and you wouldn’t say that Spider-Man was ‘here all the time.’
“Really? This is my first time seeing him.”
Fingering the window handle, you pushed it open.
You’d heard all the stories. Your friends talk about seeing the red-and-blue-clad hero with his iconic spider logo. He was some neighborhood hero. According to a few of your friends, he’d help them fight off muggers and creeps, swinging in with his sticky white webs just moments before all hell broke loose. Apparently, he was a super suave guy, and according to a few, really hot.
“As hot as a masked hero can be,” you would laugh with your friends. Now watching from a few stories up, you could definitely see the appeal. The sun was out, casting a harsh shadow on Spider-Man’s defined back muscles. The skin-tight suit hugged his strong arms and sturdy build.
There was something so fascinating about Spider-Man. He was strong, friendly, dutiful, sure. But what made him so alluring was that you wanted to study him– dissect him. It was only in your nature to want to know every single inner-workings of a figure like him.
You then felt a poke at your side. It was Wonnie.
“What, are you in love with him or something?”
You tore your eyes from Spider-Man’s figure. “What? No!”
Wonnie raised his brows. “Hmmm… Okay.”
You turned back over to the window, except when you scanned for Spider-Man, he had disappeared completely.
“Hey, where did he-”
The front door of the Park apartment flew right open, revealing a disheveled Jay Park.
“Y-You’re back already?” Wasn’t he just at a job….?
Jay waved his hand in front of him, taking off his shoes. “Yeah. Why? Were you gonna do something?”
Your nose scrunched. “No! I just thought you were at a job.”
Jay scoffed. “Who told you that-” He cut himself off when he noticed the awkward expression painted across Wonnie’s face.
“Fuckin’ dumbass,” he muttered.
Jay Park would have never guessed that you would be sleeping in his bed. For the second night. In a row. None of your friends had enough space for you to crash, and if not, they just didn’t pick up the phone.
“You need better friends,” Jay had told you in a matter-of-fact way, earning a sharp glare.
And it wasn’t an easy decision to let you stay with him either.
The apartment was a 2-bedroom one. One for himself, one for his kid brother. He sure as hell wasn’t going to make Wonnie leave his room or you and Wonnie share a room, and he most definitely was not sharing a bed with you. He’d make you sleep on the couch, but the Spider-Man in him told him not to. So very grudgingly, Jay let you take his room.
He was only allowing this because it was him that practically destroyed your apartment. Even if he didn’t like you, he did take responsibility for what happened.
Maybe that one argument you had the summer of sophomore year got to him.
And plus, he could not stand you. All the little jabs you made at him, even down to your facial expressions, had him riled up. But, for the sake of the child in the room, Jay made no big attempt to fight back.
Curled up on the couch, Jay couldn’t shake off the glum feeling that settled on his chest.
Jay Park never realized how many qualms he would have with another person living in his house.
He was okay with Wonnie, because Wonnie knew his identity as Spider-Man. And plus, Wonnie was his brother– that little squirt was tolerable. When it’s just the two of them, Jay could do basically anything he wanted. Wonnie was more than enthusiastic when he would use his webs to pull objects toward him or hang on the ceiling just because he could, and it was a rather common occurrence for you two to make a ruckus whenever there was crime in town. Jay could go do Spider-Man things whenever he needed to, and Wonnie would be okay with it.
But now with you living with him temporarily, he had to be a lot more careful.
Especially with your nitpicking everything he does.
“Why do you cut your bread like that?”
“Ew, your butter is so hard.”
“Can you stop chewing so loud?’
“Why does your face look like that?-- Oh, hi Wonnie!”
“Hi, [Name]!”
It seemed like Wonnie and you got along better.
“Hey, where are you going?” you asked from the kitchen table.
Jay, who was putting on his coat and shoes at the door, made a face. Swinging his backpack over his shoulders, he took Wonnie’s hand. “What do you think we’re doing?”
It was a rhetorical question, but you answered matter-of-factly. “Class doesn’t start until nine though!”
Jay pointed to Wonnie. “Gotta take him to school.”
That was only partially the truth. He did indeed take Wonnie to elementary school, but like every morning, he went on a morning patrol. The amount of small robberies and little school children walking into traffic was a bit staggering, but not to worry, Spider-Man was on his way.
Like right now.
As Jay swung from building to building, he carefully scanned the alleyways and streets to possibly catch any crime. When he stopped to rest atop a mix-use flower shop, crouching in his iconic pose, he spotted two children and a man.
Jay’s enhanced senses allowed him to hear the conversation-
“Let go!” one of the children pleaded, pulling away from the man. The other child, clearly the younger one, confusedly held onto the other.
“Kids, kids!” the man chuckled, continuing his tightened grip. “Just come with me. I’m your parents’ friend!”
The older of the two scrunched her nose, continuing to resist the man.
Jay observed from above. Clearly, these children had no idea who this man was. By the looks of it, there wasn’t anyone else around. Even if the kids screamed, no one would come to the rescue quick enough. This weird kidnapper guy could definitely take these kids without a doubt.
Cue the screaming and crying.
Panicked, the man tightened his grip on the kids, jerking them along as he began to walk towards the alleyway.
Fuckin’ creep, Jay thought before shooting a white web at the lampost a few meters down the pavement, swinging down. Extending a leg, he held onto the web as he suspended across the air. As he closed in on the man, he heard the two children let out shrill gasps just as Jay's foot made impact with the man’s cheek.
The brief moment of surprise made the man loosen his grip on the two children, allowing for them to scurry back. Now on the ground, Jay stood over his fallen figure.
Disgusting, he thought as he peered down at the man. Just thinking about what he would have done to the children made him angry. The man groaned in pain. Jay leaned down to the man, bringing a masked, yet somehow patronizing, face to him.
“Hey, buddy!” His words were ordinary, but very clearly filled with contempt. “Whatcha doin’ over there with those kids?”
When the man didn’t answer, Jay stamped a foot right between the man’s legs, impossibly close to his crotch. “C’mon, man. Wontcha explain?”
The panic in the man’s eyes was satisfying, as he began to draw out a pocket knife.
“S-Spider-Man?!”
Under his mask, Jay cracked a smirk. “Honored to be at your service.”
The man ogled at Spider-Man’s built figure– he stood no chance against the hero. Regardless, he stumbled to his feet, pointing the blade at Jay. “Stay back!”
Jay laughed.
“Oh no! A knife! Anything but the knife!” Jay feigned fear, cowering into himself. “I’m so scared! Please! My biggest weakness is a tiny little knife!”
The man faltered, staring hesitantly at the hero. Jay took this moment to shoot one more web at the street light, giving him momentum to jump in and kick this guy in the face again.
“Oh, man,” Jay chuckled. “That knife really got me.”
“I-I’m sorry!” The man gawked at the hero’s figure standing over him, spluttering as he struggled to his feet and finally scuttling away.
Jay watched his running back carefully.
“Thank you so much, Spider-Man!” he heard the children cheering behind him. Turning over his shoulder, Jay gave them a salute, before shooting a web and swinging away.
When classes for the day ended, Jay Park wanted a head-start on patrolling. The sun was only beginning to set, casting a golden hue over the city. He liked this time of day the most. There was always a faint citrusy smell in the air, and he wished he could take off his mask to feel the wind rake through his hair.
He checked all the important places– the bank, the university, the bus station, and especially the central business district. The alleyways were crazy notorious for being crime-ridden, so he was extra attentive with the patrol.
Speaking of, there seemed to be a bit of a conundrum right now. From the top of a high-rise building, Jay’s eyes zeroed in on the figures a few hundred feet below him. It was no uncommon occurrence for there to be some sort of assault (with Spider-Man here, attempted assault) in a dark alleyway. Jay always followed a basic procedure:
Step one: identify what’s happening.
From above, he could see that– oh shit– a woman was going to be mugged.
Little did he know, much to both of your luck, that woman was you.
Step two: identify the threat.
Two guys, both disheveled, one with a pocket-knife. Even though he couldn’t see your face, just by the looks of it, you were clearly disadvantaged– these two guys were massive compared to you.
“We see ya wallet, girl,” one of the men said. For two people who were very much advantaged, they were rather shy with the knife, holding it low and with little confidence. “Hand ovah the money.”
When you didn’t respond, they got a little more vindictive, slamming the rusted brick wall, demanding for money.
Step three: swoop in and-
Jay was bewildered by the raucous clanking of metal trash can tops against the dirty pavement. Gaping down, he could see one of the men crashed up against the trash cans, and the other one taken aback.
Did you just…?
Jay was taken by surprise once again when he heard grunting and groaning in pain. You were kicking these men when they were down. With heeled shoes. And it was now that he finally noticed your physicality: [H/C] hair. Glasses. Big attitude. Oh my god, how did he not realize that it was you?
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” you landed a kick at the crotch. Jay hissed in pain just at the sight of that. “Huh? You think you own this fuckin’ place?” Another kick. “Fuckin’ scum.”
Jay was contemplating whether or not he should go down there and give you– [Name]-fucking-[Last Name]– a hand. He was going to decide against it, when his spidey senses picked up the very crisp sound of a blade scraping across the pavement. While you were busy cussing out one of the assailants, you didn’t notice the way one of the men unsheathed the pocket-knife.
Jay could see it— In a matter of seconds, the guy’d bare the blade and shank your right in the abdomen. He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, tongue swiping right over his metal lip piercing.
“Hey, fuckface!” In one fell swoop, Jay landed a powerful punch to the blade-bearing assailant’s cheek, sending him flying down the alleyway. you let out a shriek.
“Spider-Man?!”
It was weird to see you startled like this. “Hey, Gorgeous.”
In his defense, there was not a bone in his body that thought that you were gorgeous. It was simply a habit he took on when he assumed the role of Spider-Man. He said that to everyone.
The second assailant, the one that you had basically beat up with words, was still keeled against the trash cans, eyes widened and fearful of what the friendly neighborhood hero could do.
Jay leaned down to be at eye-level with the man. “Nice day, isn’t it?”
The man spluttered, and Jay sneered. The kick that the hero gave to the man square in the chest subsequently propelled him down the alleyway, joining his friend at the back.
“Maybe don’t try to mug someone in broad daylight, bud.”
When Jay heard a few clanking sounds and groans of pain, he turned to you.
You were looking at him with large, shiny eyes, utterly consumed in admiration. Jay cringed at the silence that fell over the two of you. It wasn’t normal for there to be such a calm silence between him and you. If there wasn’t arguing, then there’d be an uncomfortable and tense atmosphere.
“I- Spider-Man…” you said, looking up at him through your glasses. The way that your eyes were practically glued to his masked face had Jay scrunching his nose. After a long silence of you just staring at him, you quickly avert your gaze, finding interest in your shoes instead. God, why were you getting so shy? Seeing the abashed expression on your face was like seeing a police officer get a parking ticket– so fucking out-of-character and just pure unnatural.
Jay wanted badly to make a jab at you, to say, “Hey, Jay Park just saved your sorry ass.”
But he didn’t.
Because that’s not what friendly neighborhood Spider-Mans do.
You bit your lip before glancing up at him. It was almost like you could feel his eyes questioning you from behind his mask, and once again, avert your gaze, pushing up your metal frames.
It was now that Jay truly realized what was going on– Did you have a crush on Spider-Man?
You were acting really shy, and you were looking at him like he was some kind of god.
The thought made him want to shrink into his own skin, but for some reason, it also made him grin. Grin a smug grin. Because now he had something to dangle over your head.
He didn’t have any sinister intentions other than the fact that he wanted an opportunity to be petty with you.
“Thank you, Spider-Man,” you finally blurted, that bashful look still casted on your face.
Jesus Christ, the way you were acting soft-spoken and coy was so weird.
He could do one of two things to fuck with you.
He could be extremely cold and distant, making you feel embarrassed. It would definitely be satisfying to see you panicked and flustered. But then again, Spider-Man’s job was to keep the city safe, not be mean to civilians. Even if said civilian was someone he couldn’t stand.
The second he could do was fluster you in a different kind of way: enthrall you with charm to mess with you. It was certainly a more ethical way to fuck with you, but Jay wasn’t sure if he’d be up for practically flirting with the person he hated more than anything else.
You shyly looked at him, expecting a response.
On second thought, he might be up for it.
He didn’t want to break you. Just fuck with that strong head of yours a little bit.
“Anything for you,” Jay took a step closer to you, just close enough that you would be taken aback, “Beautiful.”
Okay, maybe he should never do that again. Jay was not a lady-charmer. He had no game. There was a reason that he didn’t have a girlfriend, and it was because he could not flirt for shit. His skin was crawling with cringe– what he would do to have the ground open up and eat him whole because that shit was the worst thing he’s probably ever done.
His internal squirming was cut short when he saw the way your eyes widened a fraction, before letting a slight abashed curve settle on your lips.
“Oh- I-” you lowered your head, your glasses laying on the very tip of your nose.
“Thanks,” you stammered.
.
.
.
Now it was awkward.
What was he supposed to do now? Kiss you? No! What the fuck?
“I’m gonna go now,” Jay muttered. Extending his arm and aiming it at the top of the adjacent building, he prepared to shoot a web. However, he was stopped when you gently grabbed onto his bicep.
“Wait.” Your voice was uncharacteristically quiet, meek almost. “I-I don’t feel safe going home now.”
Jay blinked.
Jay Park never seemed to expect anything.
For the second time ever, in the same week, he was carrying you across the sky to his own home.
This time, though, you were wide awake instead of black-out drunk.
With your arms wrapped around his neck, you clung to him as he held onto your body tightly in the bridal-style. It wasn’t abnormal for him to be carrying a damsel in distress like this, but Jay never thought that he would be carrying you of all people.
With you clinging so close to him, Jay could smell that sweet, citrusy scent again. He grimaced when he was once again reminded of the events that had transpired a few nights ago. Whenever he thought about it, Jay could almost feel his skin crawl, remembering the wet and sticky kisses placed on his skin.
Jay tried to ignore the way you stared at him so incredulously, wide and glinted as if he was some sort of idol.
As Jay approached the edge of the high-rise office building, he noticed you bracing yourself for the jump You’d been shutting your eyes tightly and letting out a little peep every time he’d jump across buildings.
Maybe he should try fucking with you right now.
Launching off his feet, Jay had propelled the two of you into the wide valley between office buildings. Usually, he’d shoot a web within a few milliseconds of just being the air. However, with you in his arms…
“S-Spider-Man…!” you squeezed his bicep. You were falling…!
Jay was taking his sweet time with shooting another web, waiting for them to be just a few hundred meters from the bustling and traffic-filled road, giving you the illusion that you were about to topple to your death.
“Spider-Man, we’re gonna–!”
When you were practically dangling over the cars, Jay shot a web up to the next building, hoisting you two up and away.
“What, you don’t trust me, Beautiful?” Jay got some sick satisfaction from shaking up the usually-controlled you. If he was Jay, he probably would have made a jab, say something like “I told you so,” but since he was Spider-Man he stuck to the flashy and charming persona that the hero built himself.
“I… I trust you, Spider-Man, just– Eep!”
Jay threw his head back, laughing. It was funny when you got scared.
“Stop making fun of me, Spider-Man!” you lightly slapped his chest. “I’m just…– Eep!--”you squeezed his bicep again– “Scared of heights.”
Jay gave your waist a squeeze. “I got you, Angel.”
It was weird to pull up to his own apartment and pretend that it wasn’t his.
“This your place?”
Jay was curious as to what you would say. He dropped you off on the balcony, before going into his iconic crouching pose on the thin metal railing.
You shook your head. “It’s my… friend’s. I’m staying with him because….”
You trailed off, before your eyes fluttered over to Jay’s masked face. “Hey, didn’t you fight some villain the other day?”
Oh.
Right.
The reason that you were even staying with him was because… Well, him.
Jay nodded slowly.
“Oh- Well, um,” you wrung your fingers. “My apartment, it got… Yeah.”
It was like you could sense the uneasiness behind the mask.
For the heinous amount of crime-fighting that Jay did, he did feel a little bad for the amount of infrastructure that got ruined. It seemed like every other week there were glass shards strewn all across the streets. He couldn’t imagine the type of work that would go into rebuilding homes and infrastructure after so much damage.
That, he will take responsibility for.
He lowered his head. “Yeah, fuck, I’m sorry about that.”
A civilian is a civilian.
“No, no, no!” you said rather brusquely, almost in a hostile way, waving your hands in front of yourself.
Ah, there it was. The [Name] that he knew.
When you realized your tone of voice, you quickly back-tracked, clearing your throat and pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
“I mean- It’s okay, Spider-Man,” you said, looking up at him through your lashes. “You did what you had to do.”
If you knew his identity ,you wouldn't say that. You would probably file a lawsuit against him.
But he appreciated the sentiment.
“What’s your name, Pretty?” He needed you to formally introduce yourself so he could stop using those cheesy nicknames.
You smiled bashfully again. “[Name].”
“Then I’ll see you later,” Jay jumped to his feet, balancing on the metal railing. He looked over his shoulder, raising a hand up, “[Name].”
With that he began swinging away.
You blinked slowly, eyes trailing his slowly disappearing figure.
When he was out of your sight, your lips immediately broke out into a wide grin. Taking off your glasses, you used a hand to cover your eyes, feeling your cheeks heat up and pull upward.
Oh, you understood it now. Why everyone said Spider-Man was so charming.
Using both hands to cover your warm face, you let a few giggles out into your palms.
God, Spider-Man was attractive.
Your momentary fluster was cut short when the screen door of the balcony slammed open.
“Are you gonna come in or….?”
You turned to look over your shoulder.
Jay Park. Always had to ruin everything, didn’t he?
You huffed, removing your hands from your face. “Yeah… Just, give me a second.”
“Okay.”
When you turned back, you failed to notice the smug grin plastered across Jay’s face.
You heard from many people that Jay Park had an issue with disappearing. You understood what they meant. In the classes that you shared with him (which was few because your majors were different but similar enough), he would be absent for a few days at a time. At parties, even if you didn't actively seek him out, you’d see him at the beginning and after a few minutes, he’d just completely vanish. Even at some get-togethers that your mutual friends hosted, you’d hear some people complain about Jay always needing to “go to his job.”
Now that you, more or less, lived under the same roof as him, you understood to a whole other degree what people meant.
According to what his own friends said, Jay had a night internship, and according to his brother, he also had a day job. He didn’t show up to his classes some days, but you would see him in the morning before class alive and well, so he clearly wasn’t having health issues. How crazy was his schedule? You had friends in his major with jobs of their own, and they weren’t flaky in the way that Jay was.
Jay would be up early, completely disappear for the entire day, and come home late.
It was weird.
Not that you cared.
You could care less what happened to him.
You just found it strange.
Like right now.
It was late at night. Finals were coming up soon, and you simply couldn’t sleep.
See, Wonnie was normal. Wonnie had an ordinary, completely sane, schedule. In the morning, Jay would take him to school, and in the afternoon (you assumed that) Jay either picked him up or Wonnie walked home. Either way, the kid had a much more tangible daily schedule, yet his brother’s was the complete opposite. But it didn’t seem like Wonnie questioned anything either.
You saw Wonnie come in and out of rooms, heard him get a glass of milk, you even said good night to him.
The yellow-white lights that illuminated the apartment were blinding now, wearing down your eyes to the point that they felt watery. There was a sort of morose feeling that set over you as you sat at the cold kitchen counter. From final exams to the fact that your apartment was under reconstruction to the fact that you were practically intruding on our greatest enemy’s home was frustrating.
It would be completely bitchy and ungrateful of you to not recognize the sort of generosity that Jay displayed toward you. You really, genuinely, truly, could not stand him. He was someone who constantly made your day worse, someone who you'd never been able to agree with for years, someone who went out of his way to bother you– and vice versa. It wasn’t like you had no idea why he’d try to help you: he might be a supervillain to you, but he was no monster. It was clear that you were on a “I-only-doing-this-because-it’s-courteous” basis, but even then, for him to give you his own bedroom was more than courteous.
You didn’t like it.
Of all people in the world, why did he have to be so… hospitable?
You didn’t like the fact that you felt so dependent and almost helpless.
You must have sat at that kitchen counter for a good chunk of time, because the next time you really moved from your lethargic position was when there was a sudden bang against the window. Lost in thought, you violently jerked up, jumping to your feet.
Eyes quivering to the windows, which were blackened by the dark night sky, there was nothing there.
Strange.
You had your tongue dig into the inside of your cheek, frozen in place. Just when you thought your mind was just playing games, another loud bang against the window resounded through the room, followed by a few jumbled curse words.
You weren’t exactly happy that the one time you would get robbed it would be in your enemy's house.
Shit.
Except, instead of a masked burglar comically dressed in black, someone completely unexpected bursted through the window.
Red and blue spandex suit, complete masked-over face, and that unmistakable spider icon.
“Spider-Man?!”
Oh.
My.
God.
Why was Spider-Man landing in Jay Park’s apartment at this time?
And when you looked down at what you were wearing– a thin tank-top and pajama shorts–you suddenly became a lot more alarmed and self-conscious than you initially were.
“[Name]?” Spider-Man gaped. Except instead of that friendly and playful tone he was known for, it sounded sour. “What are you doing up at this time?”
You, who was now very consciously covering yourself up, gawked. “I’m– I was studying– What are you doing here, Spider-Man?”
“What do you mean? This is my ho–” Spider-Man stopped himself, before clearing his throat. Like a switch had been flipped, the hero began again, “I’m, um, stopping by to see my friend.”
You blinked.
“Y’know, Jay Park– dark hair, lip-piercing, super handsome and cool.”
Your nose scrunched at the description.
“I didn’t know you lived with him, Beautiful,” Spider-Man continued. “You said you lived with a friend, right?”
You pushed a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “I mean, I wouldn’t say friend. We’re like, acquaintances… by association.”
“You don’t sound like you like ‘em very much, yeah, Gorgeous?”
You weren’t about to lambaste Jay Park in front of Spider-man, who was apparently his friend. That would be discourteous, and you weren’t about to flame the guy that was letting you sleep in his house.
“He’s…” You didn’t want to make it seem like you were buddies, especially in front of Spider-Man. “He’s all right.”
Spider-Man was now inching toward you. “Just all right?”
You eyed the hero’s well-built figure as he came closer and closer to you, suddenly feeling shy and exposed. You felt even more shy and exposed when he very clearly lingered around the sight of your silhouette. The way his voice resounded throughout the room, slightly raspy from the yelling he must have done and low due to his exhaustion, sent a chill down your spine.
“He’s okay,” you responded curtly. “How– How do you know him? How do you know Park?”
You could feel Spider-Man’s eyes on you even through his mask.
“How do I know him?” Spider-Man crouched down next to your feet at the kitchen island, looking up at you. You could hear the grin in his voice. “He met me in senior year of high school.”
Oh wow. They’ve known each other for a while.
“A spider bit him, or something,” the masked hero continued. “And I found him all sick and sad when his uncle passed.”
That’s right. In senior year of high school, Jay’s uncle, the person who took on a father figure after his parents unfortunately passed. It had taken a toll on him at the time. You remembered passing him in the hallways, seeing the messy black hair overgrown over his brows and dark eye bags. The one person that you regularly debated in AP Macro was no longer interested. At the time, you had contemplated whether or not to reach out to him, but he’d completely shut everyone out.
“That’s great,” you murmured. No matter how much you didn’t like him, it didn’t mean that he should lose someone important to him. “That’s great that he had someone there for him. I remember–”
Spider-Man looked up at you.
“I remember– I tried to talk to him about it once, in… I think it was in Stats?” you recounted. Your lips pressed together before forming a slight curve. “He yelled at me.”
“He yelled at you?”
You almost laughed. “Yeah, he did. Oh man, we never got along in high school– even now– but… It’s not nice to lose someone you love, is it?”
Spider-Man stared at you silently, before quickly agreeing– “Yeah, it isn’t.”
You bit your lip as you recounted. “I wanted to comfort him, but I don’t think he wanted me of all people to do that. At least I tried.” Your eyes fluttered over to Spider-Man. “I’m glad he had someone like you to be there for him.”
Spider-Man didn’t speak.
“Are you and Park close?” you asked.
“Yeah, we are.”
You hummed. “Oh. Do you see each other a lot?”
“Everyday.”
.
.
.
Spider-Man got to his feet.
“[Name], do you want to go on an adventure with me?”
Sometimes you thought you were stupid. Not all the time because you knew you were smart, but some time like now, where you allowed a masked man who may or may have not broken into your enemy's apartment claiming to be his friend to take you around the city at night. And you did it without even telling anyone, so if you got killed in an alleyway no one would know.
Not to worry, though.
Jay Park thought he was pretty stupid, too.
Staying out late at night right before finals week and completely forgetting about the workaholic nerd freak that lived with him temporarily (you). And to make it worse, he mentioned his own civilian self!-- and he obviously couldn’t be in two places at once.
He needed a way to deflect.
“Wooooh!” Jay hooted as he swung from building to building.
“Spider-Man– Slow down…!”
Unlike the last two times he’d taken you out on some sort of aerial excursion, you had your arms and legs wrapped tightly around his neck and torso, hugging him from the back instead of Jay holding you bridal-style.
It was nice for a change. For the first time, you were hanging off his back instead of being directly held by him. Jay couldn’t help the snicker that he let out when you would squeeze him and squeal in his ear out of fear.
“I thought ya said you trusted me,” he beamed. Jay could feel the way your face pressed into his back as you dangled in the sky. “C’mon, Gorgeous, don’t get all scared on me now.”
“It’s not fair- Eep!”
“What’s not fair, hm?” He shot another web. You didn't respond, opting to squeeze him harder. “What’s not fair, [Name]?”
“This!” you chided in his ear. “You-You’re not scared because you do this every day!”
“Well, maybe you should do this more then.”
To Jay, it was really weird to carry a frightened you around. He never took you for the clingy type, but maybe there’s a lot he didn’t know about you. It was especially weird when he was Spider-Man, because you were oddly nice to him. When he’s Jay, there’s no denying that you’re hostile.
“Why are you so nervous?” Jay sneered when you two landed on top of the central clock tower. You’d sat down at the top, letting the cool late-Spring night hit you. For someone notorious for their crazy confidence, it was absurd to see such a person all feeble and fiddling with their fingers.
“It’s just finals,” you mumbled.
Jay nearly laughed. “Wow, you really are a nerdo freak.”
Your cheeks visibly heated up, folding your arms over your chest. “Hey! I’m not a nerdo fre–” You stopped yourself, before you brought your eyes up to the hero. “Did he tell you that?”
The man narrowed his eyes. “W-What?”
“Park is the only person that calls me ‘nerdo freak,’” you frowned, raising up your fingers to make air-quotes. “He’s been calling me that since highschool.”
Oh.
Shit.
“Y-Yeah,” the man responded, sucking in a shallow breath. “He talks to me about you a lot.”
Not true.
Jay Park doesn’t talk to Spider-Man about anything.
Because they’re the same person.
You swiped your tongue over your bottom lip. “Really? What does he say about me?”
Oh, this would be awkward.
“Jay thinks you’re really… Uhm…”
There’s two things Jay could do. Tell you his (Jay’s) honest thoughts about you as Spider-Man and effectively make the entire atmosphere both now and at home awkward. Though, it wouldn’t be much of a loss because he (Jay) already made it loud and clear how he felt about you through his words and actions toward you. It would only be awkward because he as Spider-Man was the one expressing it.
The second thing he could do was lie.
“He thinks you’re hot as fuck.”
Oh my fucking god what was he doing.
“Oh… uh… Really?”
Jay wanted to kill himself.
Of all things he could have said, he said thats?– Oh my god, and now you were shifting uncomfortably in your seat– What does he do?
Jay Park was not attracted to you and he will never be! Never! Ever!
It was the first thing that came to his mind! He doesn’t mean it! Jay Park hates you! He thinks you’re ugly and- Well, actually, that’s not true. You’re a very pretty woman, he did indeed get crazy butterflies the night of the soccer mixer, and he did catch himself staring at you a few times, because let’s be honest, the tiny tank-top and pajama shorts looked good as fuck on you– but still-!
“Did he tell you that… or…?”
“Yeah, that’s a direct quote.”
Jay Park! What are you doing?
part 2 here
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#park jongseong#park jay#jay x reader#jay enhypen x reader#jay fluff#star-sim#vanya-writes#enhypen smut#park jongseong fluff#park jongseong x reader
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Leave you with a kiss…
======
Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader
Summary: A quick goodbye…
Warnings: SMUT! Cunnalingus, kinda lame aftercare ngl, petnames(ma, baby) ((sorry for any errors, just wanted to write something rq before finals))
Word Count: 900 (just a quick little thing)
======
“Jay-”
“I know..”
“You’re going to be late-”
“Shut up, ma.” He grumbled as he tugged you further to the edge of the bed by your thighs.
You took a deep breath but did as told. Jay hated when you chastised him. Especially about patrol. He took patrol as a bit of a selective choice. At least after he met you. It didn’t matter if he went on patrol on time. Especially when he could be saying goodbye with some good head and a last peck on the lips before he left. If he was a few minutes late.. Whatever. He was saying goodbye to his girl after all.
He started slower, licking a hot strip just up the side. Not quite on your pussy, but it made you shiver nonetheless. Squirming in his tight hold where he had his arms locked around your thighs. Making sure to keep you spread for him. He lapped and licked, sometimes going further up your thigh, just to bite down teasingly and suck a hickey there harshly. Jay cooed and nosed at the sensitive skin of your thigh at how you were already so fucking wet. “So messy, baby…”
He dipped his hand down, pushing your thighs up further with the movement. Just barely brushing your slick seam with his pinky. “Huh?” You murmured after he growled something under his breath.
“Don’t worry about it..” He let out a hot breath, you bit down on your bottom lip at how it made your pussy twitch at the feeling. Your stomach flutters as you wait. He brought his other hand down, thumbs brushing over your lips before pulling them apart. He watches greedily, seeing how your wetness fucking webs as he spreads you open, exposing you to him in a way that makes you whine out of embarrassment.
It looks too good to ignore as he was quick to lean down and lick from your hole to your clit suddenly. Tongue flat before he flicks it over your sensitive but in a way that makes you gasp. He grabbed at you a little tighter as you started to squirm again. He did it again, and again, and again..
“Jay!” It was a weak cry, one half buried in a pillow as you grabbed at his wrists. When he tried to push your hands away, you grasped at the sheets. “Fuck- fuck, I’m close.., Jay!”
He nosed at your clit, his jaw aching as he shoved his wet tongue into your hole, fucking you with the hot muscle. You grabbed his wrists again out of shock, a sob leaving your lips as you arched under his touch. He pulled away from your hold, only to trap your wrists in his grasp, pinning your hands to your hips as he held you there.
He could feel it, see it in the certain way your hips seemed to twitch to and away from his mouth at the same time. It felt like a short circuit how impossibly fast you felt your end coming. Whines and helpless moans leaving your lips as your head thrashed on the pillow. He kept licking from your quivering hole right up to your clit, giving it a quick harsh suck before doing it all over again.
“Jay-” You were keening under his touch, and he only doubled down. Just like he knew you needed it. He fucking knew everything you needed. And that's because all you needed was him. He will be your best fuck, and only fuck for the rest of your lives on this miserable fucking planet in this miserable fucking city. And he will pride himself on that until the day his dick stops working right and he needs a new jaw from all its use. Because a pussy this good, twitching and creaming all over his tongue is too good to give up.
Fighting with your hands as he wrangles both of your hands into one of his. His other hand snaking down as he shoves two fingers into your pussy. Then he sucks, harsh and long sucks like he’s trying to give your clit a hickey. Not letting up even when your hips buck up too hard he has to move his head with you. Your cries filled the dark room of the apartment as you were slammed with the force of your orgasm. Jay crooks his finger in your cunt, feeling how you squeezed around his digits. He thrust them shallowly in and out, brushing that spongy spot just right. You’re quivering and thrashing in his grip weakly as you were riding out your high. Folding in on yourself as your breath stuttered, legs trying to close.
Only then does Jay pull away. Kissing just under your navel before getting up. He grabbed one of his clean shirts and wiped his hands, then your pussy. It was quick, almost unceremonious. But you knew, if he had more time, he would. “Need anything, baby?”
A drowsy smile came on your lips, you shook your head softly. He nods and tosses the shirt in the hamper, taking the moment to adjust himself in his pants. Grimacing as he realized how hard he was, his dick bulging against his zipper and pulsing with need.
“Okay, love you, I’ll be back in a few hours.” He huffed and made his way back over. Kneeling on the bed, leaning down to capture you in a quick kiss. “Night, ma..”
“Night, Jay..”
#jason todd#jason todd x you#jason todd imagine#jason todd x reader#jason todd smut#red hood smut#Red#red hood x you#smut#dc#dc fanfic
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✨ His only exception - Pt. 25/? ✨
Summary: 12 months ago, Butcher went above and beyond to have you join his team. You had a simple office job at Supe Affairs. The same thing every day, working from 9 to 5 and watching Butcher and his team defeat one renegade after another. One evening, however, something changed.
Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader
Warnings: Language, angst, hurt, soft Ben, Ben gets hurt
Word Count: 7384
A/N: This is part 25 of “His only exception”.
English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨
As the days passed and you called in sick for the entire week at Vought, Ben couldn't shake the feeling that he had made a major mistake. Each day weighed heavily on him, his mind consumed by thoughts of you and the uncertain future of your relationship. He knew he had messed up, and the realization gnawed at him with each passing moment.
He tried his best not to pressure you, but every damn second without you felt like hell on earth. He missed you. And it took all of his strength to give you the space you needed.
Still, it drove him crazy. His emotions were like a whirlwind rushing up and down within him several times a day. He could hardly control himself. His chest began to glow again and again, his vision blurred and his heart began to race. If he didn't know better, he'd think he was lovesick. Heartbreak is hard for normal people, but it's even worse for America's first superhero with this past and newfound powers.
He didn't have much choice but to throw himself headfirst into work.
So as Ben continued to make sweeping changes at Vought, you found yourself confined to your hotel room, grappling with a whirlwind of emotions. Despite the turmoil within you, Ben's constant messages provided a small comfort. His updates on Vought's developments and the occasional meme brought a fleeting smile to your face, but deep down, you longed for more.
With each passing day, you hoped that Ben would take the next step, that he would finally express his feelings for you in a more definitive way. Yet, as the week wore on, his messages remained friendly and casual, lacking the depth and commitment you yearned for. The uncertainty of where you stood with him only added to the turmoil in your heart.
As Ben navigated the complex web of corporate politics and power struggles at Vought, his thoughts were consumed by one thing: you. Amidst the chaos and pressure of his new role, he couldn't shake the feeling of longing that gnawed at him relentlessly. Every decision he made, every move he orchestrated, was driven by the desire to exert control in a world where uncertainty loomed large.
He missed you with an intensity that bordered on desperation. Your voice echoed in his mind, your scent lingered in the air, and the memory of your touch haunted him at every turn. Despite the distractions and demands of his new position, you were never far from his thoughts. Each passing moment only served to deepen his longing for you, leaving him yearning for the day when he could hold you in his arms once more.
As Monday arrived, you found yourself steeling your nerves as you stepped back into Vought. Taking your seat next to Jay, his gaze fixed on you, you couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. Your eyes were red and puffy, evidence of the sleepless night spent grappling with your emotions. Dark circles underscored your exhaustion, a testament to the turmoil that had consumed you in recent days.
Despite the emotional upheaval, you hadn't officially ended things with Jay. The weight of that unresolved tension hung heavy in the air, adding to the unease that settled over you as you braced yourself for another day without Ben.
Jay turned more towards you, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity. "Hey", he said softly, his voice laced with genuine worry. "You look… rough. Are you okay? Care to explain what's been going on?".
You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how much to reveal. Jay had been there for you during some tough times, but the truth of your feelings for Ben weighed heavily on your conscience. Taking a deep breath, you prepared to navigate the delicate balance between honesty and discretion.
Tears welled up in your eyes once more as you struggled to find the right words. "Jay, I'm so sorry", you began, your voice wavering with emotion. "You don't deserve any of this. It's not you; it's me. I'm the problem, not you".
Your heart ached with guilt as you admitted the truth, knowing that Jay had been nothing but supportive and caring throughout your tumultuous relationship.
Jay's heart sank as he saw you in distress, and without hesitation, he pulled you into a comforting embrace. His arms enveloped you, offering solace and support in your moment of vulnerability. Despite the pain he felt knowing you were hurting, his love for you remained unwavering.
As the usual chatter from your colleagues ceased, you opened your eyes, your gaze meeting Ben's imposing figure clad in his supe suit as he stood in your office doorway. The room fell silent, the weight of his presence palpable as all eyes turned to him.
His gaze was fixed solely on you, and you felt a knot form in your stomach as you instantly withdrew from Jay's embrace. Ben's presence filled the room, his eyes narrowing as he spoke with firmness in his tone.
"I need you in my office. Now", he commanded, his hands clenched into fists by his sides, radiating an aura of unmistakable anger.
As you rose to your feet, the eyes of your colleagues, including Jay's, followed you and Ben as you made your way towards the elevators. It was unusual to see Ben on this floor, and the attention from everyone around you only added to the tension in the air. The silence seemed to weigh heavily as you entered the elevator with Ben, the gazes of your coworkers lingering on you both as the doors closed.
Ben turned towards you, his expression fierce as he spoke loudly, his voice echoing in the confined space of the elevator.
"That's why you fucking left me?!", he exclaimed, his words filled with anger and hurt.
But Ben's outburst caught you off guard, and you realized he had misunderstood the situation completely. You opened your mouth to explain, but before you could utter a word, the elevator dinged, signaling your arrival at Ben's office floor.
As soon as you entered the office, Ben slammed the doors shut behind you, his anger palpable in the tense atmosphere.
"I should go back down and fucking kill him!", he yelled, his voice booming with rage as he paced back and forth in front of you. His fists were still clenched tightly at his sides, his whole body vibrating with fury.
You watched him, a mixture of fear and sadness swirling inside you. "Ben, please, calm down", you pleaded, your voice trembling slightly. "It's not what you think".
Ben's anger simmered as he locked eyes with you. "Then what is it, huh?", he demanded, his voice edged with frustration. "Why did you fucking leave me?".
As you stood there, feeling small and hurt in front of Soldier Boy, you couldn't help but notice the turmoil in his eyes, despite his efforts to hold back his emotions. With a trembling voice, you yelled back at him, "I didn't leave you, Ben! You pushed me away!".
Ben's jaw clenched as he struggled to process your words. "How the fuck did I push you away?", he retorted, his voice rising with frustration. "I've been doing everything I can to make things right, to show you how much I care about you!".
You shook your head, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. "Buying a house without even talking to me about it, Ben", you replied, your voice shaking with emotion. "That's not showing me you care. It's making decisions for both of us without considering how I feel".
"I just wanted to give you something", he admitted, his voice more quiet now. "Something that would make you happy. A Home".
You took a step closer, the tension between you slowly dissipating. "I know", you replied. "But sometimes, it's not about the grand gestures. It's about the little things… like communication and honesty".
He met your gaze, his eyes reflecting a mix of remorse and determination. "I messed up, didn't I?", he asked, his voice tinged with regret.
You took a deep breath, gathering the courage to express your true feelings. "Being with you is all I want, Ben", you began, your voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside you. "But I need more than… a house. I need your commitment. I can't keep doing this uncertainty, wondering where we stand".
You met his gaze, searching his eyes for any sign of understanding. "I want to hear you say that you love me, Ben", you continued, your voice trembling slightly. "The way I love you".
But instead of the reassurance you longed for, Ben remained silent, his expression conflicted as he processed your words. It was clear that he still wasn't ready to open up completely, leaving you feeling a familiar ache of disappointment in your heart.
“I need to know where we stand, Ben”, you urged, your voice tinged with desperation. “I can’t keep living in this limbo, not knowing if you’re truly committed to me”.
Ben sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I care about you, you know that”, he said finally, his voice rough with emotion. “But I’m not good at this… at relationships, at opening up”.
You felt a surge of frustration and sadness at his words, the realization sinking in that he still wasn’t willing to give you the commitment you needed. But despite your disappointment, you knew that pushing him further would only drive him away.
You took a deep breath, steeling yourself to say the words that you knew would hurt both of you. “I’m here for you, Ben”, you began. “I want to support you and be there for you, but… as long as you can’t decide if you love me or not, we can’t be anything more than friends”.
The weight of your words hung heavy in the air, and you could see the pain flicker across Ben’s face as he processed what you had just said. It was clear that your words had struck a chord with him, stirring something deep within his heart.
Ben stood there in silence, his gaze fixed on the ground as he grappled with the weight of your words. His heart felt heavy in his chest, aching with a pain he couldn't quite articulate. Despite his efforts to hold back his emotions, tears welled up in his eyes, betraying the turmoil raging within him.
He wanted to reach out to you, to tell you how much you meant to him, but the words caught in his throat, choked by the fear of rejection and the uncertainty of his own feelings. In that moment, he felt more lost and vulnerable than he ever had before.
As you stood there, watching him, he knew that he had to confront his own demons before he could ever hope to give you the love and commitment you deserved. But for now, all he could do was stand there in silence, his heart breaking with every passing moment.
Overwhelmed by your own emotions, you stumbled out of Ben's office, tears streaming down your face as you rushed toward the nearest restroom. Your chest felt tight, suffocated by the weight of disappointment and heartache. You said the words so clearly, but you also broke your own heart.
As you reached the sanctuary of the restroom, you barely made it to a stall before the overwhelming wave of emotions crashed over you. Bent over the toilet, tears mixing with the bile rising in your throat, you retched violently, your body convulsing with each heave.
It felt like an eternity before the nausea subsided, leaving you trembling and exhausted. With shaky hands, you wiped away the tears and splashed some water on your face, trying to compose yourself as best as you could.
As you made your way back to your desk, you could feel the weight of your emotions still pressing down on you like a heavy blanket. The concerned glances from your colleagues only served to exacerbate your sense of vulnerability, and you couldn't bring yourself to meet their eyes. They thought Soldier Boy screwed you over a mistake.
Jay, however, was different. He could see past the facade. As you took your seat beside him, he reached out and gently squeezed your hand in a silent gesture of support.
You managed a weak smile in response, grateful for his understanding.
Jay's voice was soft, barely above a whisper, as he leaned in closer to you. "Are you okay?", he asked, his eyes reflecting genuine concern.
You took a moment to collect your thoughts before responding. "I'll be fine", you replied, your voice wavering slightly. "Just… dealing with some stuff".
His brow furrowed with worry as he continued, his tone gentle. "Is it… Is Soldier Boy the guy you told me about? The one you were trying to get over?".
You hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal, but ultimately decided to be honest with him. "Yeah", you admitted quietly, feeling a pang of guilt for dragging Jay more into your personal drama.
Jay’s voice was sympathetic as he spoke, his expression reflecting his concern. “Soldier Boy… he’s a big deal, huh?”, he mumbled, shaking his head slightly.
You nodded. “Yeah, he’s… complicated”, you replied, a hint of sadness in your voice as you thought about Ben’s tumultuous emotions.
Jay sighed, his gaze dropping to the floor as he mumbled, “Well, against him, it was predictable that I’d lose you”.
You felt a pang of guilt at his words.
“I’m sorry, Jay”, you said softly, reaching out to place a hand on his arm. “I never meant to hurt you”.
Jay looked up, offering you a small, sad smile. “It’s okay”, he replied, his voice tinged with resignation.
You took a deep breath. "Jay, when I started dating you, I thought Ben was dead", you confessed quietly. "I never expected to see him again, and I needed someone to help me move on. I didn't mean to lead you on or hurt you in any way".
Jay's expression softened slightly. "I get it", he replied. "It must have been hard for you, thinking he was gone".
"It was", you admitted, a hint of sadness creeping into your voice. "But that's no excuse for hurting you. I should have been honest with you from the beginning".
"It's okay", he reassured you. "I'm just glad you're okay and that we can still be friends".
You offered him a small, grateful smile, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. "Thank you, Jay", you said sincerely. "For being so understanding".
With that, the tension between you eased slightly, and you both turned your attention back to your work. You had to distract yourself from Ben somehow.
Another week passed, each day dragging on for Ben as he grappled with the overwhelming guilt and sadness that consumed him. He found himself unable to sleep, lying awake in bed for hours on end, tormented by thoughts of you and the way he had pushed you away.
His appetite disappeared, the thought of food turning his stomach as he wrestled with the emptiness that seemed to gnaw at his insides. Even his usual distractions, like spending time with prostitutes or engaging in reckless behavior, held no appeal for him. All he could think about was you, and how he had let you slip through his fingers.
It didn't even matter to him that Butcher still hadn't handed over Homelander. Normally, that would have consumed his thoughts and driven him to take action, but now it seemed insignificant compared to the ache in his heart.
Every day felt like an eternity, each moment stretching on endlessly as he grappled with the consequences of his actions. He knew he had to make things right with you, but he couldn't shake the fear that it might already be too late.
For you, that week felt like a never-ending nightmare. The pain of being apart from Ben weighed heavily on your heart, leaving you feeling hollow and empty. Each day was a struggle to get out of bed, plagued by also sleepless nights and a loss of appetite.
You couldn't shake the feeling of nausea that seemed to accompany every thought of Ben, and there were moments when you found yourself rushing to the bathroom, overcome by waves of sickness. It was as if your body was rebelling against the turmoil in your mind, unable to handle the emotional strain you were under.
The thought of Ben being unable to commit to you gnawed at you, filling you with a sense of insecurity and fear. You needed him to be with you, to reassure you that you were the only one for him, but the uncertainty of his feelings left you feeling vulnerable and exposed.
Despite the overwhelming longing you felt for him, there was a part of you that feared what would happen if you let him back into your life.
Each day dragged on, the minutes ticking by slowly as you waited for some sign from Ben that he still cared.
As Monday unfolded, it felt like just another day, despite being your birthday.
The office buzzed with its usual energy, oblivious to the significance of the date for you. Your family called, and a few old friends sent text messages, but beyond that, there were no grand gestures or celebrations.
Sitting at your desk, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of loneliness amidst the routine of the day. It wasn’t the lack of gifts or attention that bothered you, but rather the absence of someone special to share the moment with.
On your lunch break, you sat on a bench at the park near vought and munched on your salad, as someone sat down besides you. It was frenchie. You haven’t talked to him in over three weeks since you were still mad.
“Hey”, Frenchie said softly, his voice carrying a hint of hesitation.
You glanced over, surprised to see him there. “Hey”, you replied, trying to mask the unease in your voice.
There was a moment of awkward silence before Frenchie spoke again. “I… I know we haven’t talked in a while. And I understand if you’re still upset about what happened with Soldier Boy… But I just wanted to say… I miss our conversations”.
You sighed, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside you. “I miss them too”, you admitted, unable to deny the truth of his words.
Frenchie hesitated for a moment before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small, wrapped package. "I almost forgot", he said, his voice softer now. "Happy birthday".
Your eyes widened in surprise as you accepted the gift, feeling a rush of warmth in your chest. "Thank you", you murmured, touched by the unexpected gesture and the fact he remembered your birthday.
Carefully, you unwrapped the package to reveal your necklace, the one that had broken during your first fight against Homelander a year ago. But now, it looked as good as new, thanks to Frenchie's repairs.
You looked up at him, speechless for a moment. "You fixed it", you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
Frenchie nodded, a gentle smile playing on his lips. "I remembered how much it meant to you", he admitted. "And I wanted to make things right… to, kinda unbreak the broken", he smiled.
Tears welled up in your eyes as you reached out to hug him, feeling a sense of gratitude wash over you. "Thank you", you said again, your voice choked with emotion.
As you released him from the embrace, Frenchie stood up. "I have to go", he said, his voice tinged with regret. "But I hope… I hope you'll still reach out to me, even if you don't want to talk to the rest of the team".
You nodded. "I will", you promised, your voice filled with sincerity. "Thank you, Frenchie, for everything".
He offered you a small, reassuring smile before turning to leave, his footsteps fading away as he walked out of the park.
As you sat alone on the bench again, the necklace clutched in your hand, you thought that perhaps, with time, wounds could heal, and bonds could be strengthened once more.
With a sigh, you glanced around the empty office a few hours later, the silence weighing heavily on your shoulders. Everyone had gone home for the day, leaving you to grapple with your own thoughts and emotions.
As you gathered your things and prepared to leave, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of loneliness gnawing at your heart. The emptiness of the office seemed to amplify the sense of isolation you had been grappling with all day.
Closing your laptop and shutting down your workstation, you took one last look around the office before finally making your way to the elevators.
Feeling another sudden wave of nausea, you stumbled back from your desk, clutching your stomach as you fought to keep your composure. The queasiness intensified with each passing moment, leaving you feeling weak and unsteady on your feet.
Frantically, you searched for the restroom, your heart pounding in your chest as you struggled to keep the contents of your stomach at bay. Every step felt like a monumental effort, the urge to vomit growing stronger with each passing moment.
Finally reaching the restroom, you barely made it to a stall before retching uncontrollably into the toilet.
After what felt like an eternity, the nausea finally passed, leaving you feeling weak and shaky. Slowly, you pushed yourself up from the floor, rinsing your mouth and splashing water on your face in an attempt to regain some semblance of composure.
As you leaned against the sink, trying to steady your breathing, you couldn't shake the nagging worry that lingered in the back of your mind. Something wasn't right, and you couldn't ignore the sinking feeling that this was just the beginning of something much more serious.
With each step back to your hotel, the weight of loneliness grew heavier, the absence of Ben a constant ache in your heart.
As you walked through the streets, you couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness that seemed to engulf you. The city buzzed with life around you, but you felt disconnected, lost.
You missed Ben more than ever, but deep down, you knew that staying with him wouldn’t have solved the ache in your heart.
As you finally reached your hotel room, you closed the door behind you, enveloped once again in the silence of solitude.
Your heart raced as you scanned the room, the scent of Ben´s cologne hung in the air. It was both comforting and agonizing, stirring up emotions you had been trying to suppress.
With a shaky breath, you approached the spot where the scent seemed strongest, as if hoping to find some trace of him left behind.
As you stood there, grappling with the conflicting emotions swirling inside you, a sense of sadness washed over you. It was a stark reminder of just how quickly things could change, how the presence of someone you loved could vanish in an instant.
Just then, you spotted a little box on the bed.
Your hands trembled as you reached for the small box sitting on the bed, your heart pounding in your chest with a mixture of anticipation and trepidation. With trembling fingers, you carefully unwrapped the neatly wrapped package, revealing a key and a folded note nestled inside.
Your breath caught in your throat as you read the simple message scrawled on the note: “Happy birthday, it’s all yours”.
For a moment, you were overcome with confusion, unable to comprehend the significance of the key and the cryptic message. But then it dawned on you, a sudden rush of realization flooding through you like a tidal wave.
The house.
The realization hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you reeling with a mixture of emotions. Tears welled up in your eyes once again, and you cursed at yourself for allowing them to fall, for allowing Ben’s actions to have such power over your heart.
But more than anything, you cursed at Ben, for being unable to simply tell you that he loved you, for leaving you to decipher his feelings through cryptic gestures and hidden messages.
With a shaky breath, you wiped away the tears that stained your cheeks, feeling a surge of anger bubbling up inside you. How could he have been so cowardly, so unwilling to confront his own emotions and share them with you?
The weight of his absence felt heavier than ever.
Despite the anger and frustration simmering within you, a part of you couldn't help but long for his comforting embrace, his reassuring presence by your side.
Your fingers hovered over your phone, tempted to reach out to him, to confront him about his cowardice and demand answers for his actions. But as quickly as the impulse arose, you pushed it aside, knowing deep down that reaching out to him would only prolonging the pain and heartache.
Instead, you found yourself lost in thought, your mind wandering back to the realization that Ben had known your birthday without ever needing to ask.
With a heavy sigh, you set your phone aside, knowing that dwelling on the past would only bring more pain. But even as you tried to push aside the longing for his presence, you couldn't shake the yearning for him to be there with you, to hold you close and chase away the loneliness that threatened to consume you.
In the silence of the empty hotel room, you allowed yourself a moment of vulnerability, a moment to admit to yourself that despite everything, you still wished he was there with you.
Glancing at the clock, you realized that it wasn't terribly late. Yet, the weight of the day's events and the absence of anyone to celebrate your birthday with left you feeling drained and disheartened.
With a heavy sigh, you made the decision to retreat to bed, seeking solace in the embrace of sleep. The thought of spending any more time alone with your thoughts seemed unbearable, and the prospect of facing another moment of loneliness was too much to bear.
As you slipped beneath the covers, exhaustion weighed heavily on your limbs, pulling you into the embrace of darkness. Closing your eyes, you sought refuge from your emotions that threatened to overwhelm you, hoping that sleep would offer some respite from the ache in your heart.
With each passing moment, the world around you faded into oblivion, and for a brief moment, you found a fleeting sense of peace.
Ben's footsteps were silent as he entered your room a few hours later, the weight of his actions heavy on his mind. The dim moonlight filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow over your sleeping form.
Standing by the bed, Ben's heart swelled with a mix of emotions. Guilt, remorse, and an overwhelming longing to see you filled him as he watched you sleep peacefully. He needed to be near you, to see you, even if only for a moment.
Quietly, he approached the bed, his gaze fixed on you. His hand hovered over yours, tempted to reach out and touch you, but he hesitated, unsure if his presence would only cause you more pain.
For a moment, he simply stood there, lost in the sight of you, the rise and fall of your chest as you breathed softly. Despite the mistakes he had made, he couldn't deny what he felt for you.
With a heavy heart, Ben finally turned to leave, knowing that now was not the time for reconciliation. You needed your rest, and he needed to find a way to make things right, to prove to you that he was capable of change.
As you stood in the office kitchen the next day, filling up a glass of water, you were startled by the sound of the door closing behind you. Turning around, you found yourself face to face with Ben, his presence unexpected yet undeniable.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the tension between you palpable as you met each other's gaze. It was as if the weight of everything that had transpired hung heavy in the air, casting a shadow over the space between you.
Finally, Ben broke the silence, his voice quiet yet filled with emotion. "I couldn't stay away", he admitted, his words carrying the weight of his remorse and longing.
You regarded him warily, unsure of how to respond to his sudden appearance.
With a sigh, you set the glass of water aside, turning to face him fully. "What do you want, Ben?", you asked, your voice tinged with a mixture of sadness and vulnerability.
"I know I messed up, but I fucking need you (y/n). Only you, okay?".
His words hung in the air between you, the weight of his sincerity and determination evident in every syllable.
Tears welled up in your eyes once again as you listened to Ben’s earnest plea. His words tugged at your heartstrings, igniting a glimmer of hope within you, but beneath the surface, there lingered a deep-seated pain that refused to be ignored.
Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you met Ben’s gaze, your voice trembling with emotion. “Ben, I… I want to believe you”, you began, your words halting as you struggled to find the right ones. “But until you can’t even say you’re sorry, I can’t do this. I need more than just empty promises. I need you to let me in, to show me your emotions, to tell me what you truly feel”.
Ben’s expression faltered, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features as he searched for the right response.
As Ben's expression faltered, you could sense the struggle within him, the conflict between his desire to make things right and his inability to express his emotions openly. His uncertainty mirrored your own.
Instead of addressing your plea for him to confront his feelings, Ben's voice wavered as he spoke, his words a clumsy attempt to change the subject. "Did you… Did you get my present?", he asked, his tone hesitant, his eyes flickering with a mixture of hope and apprehension.
His question caught you off guard, a sharp contrast to the weighty conversation you had been having just moments before. The sudden shift in focus left you feeling disoriented, unsure of how to respond to his attempt at diversion.
Swallowing back the lump in your throat, you nodded slowly, your voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, I did", you replied, your words tinged with a hint of sadness.
Ben's gaze softened, his heart aching to touch you, to wipe away your tears and ease the pain he had caused. But despite his longing, he remained rooted in place, unable to bridge the emotional distance that separated you.
For a moment, silence enveloped you both, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air.
Unable to resist the pull of his emotions any longer, he reached out and gently cupped your face in his hands. His touch was tender, his thumb brushing away the tears that stained your cheeks.
For a moment, you allowed yourself to lean into his touch. But as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, you sensed a shift in his demeanor, a sudden realization dawning in his eyes.
"Hey", he murmured softly, his voice tinged with curiosity as he studied your face intently. "You smell… kinda funny… minty".
His words caught you off guard, the unexpected observation pulling you out of the emotional haze that had enveloped you. You blinked in surprise, unsure of how to respond to his comment.
Beneath the surface, however, Ben's mind raced with a flurry of thoughts and memories, his senses suddenly overwhelmed by the familiar scent that clung to you. It was a scent he knew all too well.
Confusion clouded your expression as you pulled back slightly from Ben's touch, his words leaving you bewildered.
"Ben, what are you talking about?", you asked, your voice tinged with confusion and curiosity.
Ben's expression softened. "I don't know", he admitted quietly, his voice tinged with resignation. "It's just… familiar, somehow. Your scent".
Before you could press him for more answers, a sudden thought crossed your mind, and you couldn't help but voice it.
"When was the last time you slept, Ben?", you asked, your concern evident in your voice. "You look exhausted".
Ben's response was a shrug. "I don't fucking know", he rolled his eyes. "Maybe Monday, maybe Sunday".
The admission sent a pang of worry through you, the realization of just how much Ben had been struggling weighing heavily on your heart.
Ben sighed deeply, a sense of resignation settling over him as he realized that his attempts to reconnect with you were falling short. Despite his longing for reconciliation, he knew that he wouldn’t get anywhere with you in his current state.
“Just to go to the fucking house. It’s safer for you to stay there”.
You swallowed hard. With a resigned nod, you acknowledged the urgency in his plea, understanding that there was more at stake than just your fractured relationship.
"Okay", you murmured softly. "I'll go to the house".
As you turned to leave the kitchen, a surge of concern washed over you, prompted by the weary exhaustion etched into Ben's features. Despite the tension between you, a part of you couldn't ignore the worry gnawing at your conscience, the need to ensure his well-being outweighing the hurt you felt.
But before you could voice your concern, you hesitated, the words catching in your throat. Instead, you simply met Ben's gaze, your eyes reflecting the depth of your concern.
"You need to sleep, Ben", you said gently, your voice filled with quiet insistence. "Take care of yourself."
With that, you turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Ben alone with his thoughts.
With the day's work behind you and Ben's plea echoing in your mind, you made your way to the hotel lobby, your bag slung over your shoulder. The weight of uncertainty settled heavily on your shoulders as you prepared to face whatever awaited you at your old apartment.
Exiting the hotel, you hailed a cab and directed the driver to take you to your former residence. The familiar sights and sounds of the city passed by in a blur as you rode in silence, your thoughts consumed by the events of the day.
As the cab pulled up outside your old apartment building, you sighed. Gathering your resolve, you stepped out onto the sidewalk and made your way inside.
The familiar corridors felt strangely empty as you made your way to your former apartment, the silence broken only by the echo of your footsteps. Unlocking the door, you stepped inside.
With a heavy heart, you began the task of packing up the remainder of your belongings. As you worked, the hours slipped away, the sun sinking lower in the sky with each passing moment.
Finally, as the last box was packed and your car loaded with your belongings, you took one last look around your empty room.
With a deep breath, you closed the door behind you and made your way to your car.
As you stepped outside, your thoughts consumed by the events of the day, you were startled to see Annie and Hughie walking towards you. Their unexpected presence caught you off guard, and you couldn’t help but tense up as they approached.
“Hey”, Hughie greeted, his voice hesitant as he met your gaze. “Are you… Are you moving out of the apartment?”
You nodded tersely, the tension between you palpable. The rift between you and the team had grown too wide to ignore, and staying in the apartment no longer felt like an option.
“Yeah”, you replied shortly, your voice tinged with bitterness. “I am”.
Annie’s expression softened, a flicker of concern crossing her features as she regarded you. “Is everything okay?”, she asked gently, her voice filled with genuine concern.
You hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal to them.
“I’m fine”, you replied curtly, the words coming out sharper than intended. “Just… Just need some space”.
Annie took a step closer, her eyes reflecting a mix of regret and sincerity. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry for lying to you", she began, her voice soft with remorse. "We never meant to hurt you".
But despite her apology, you couldn't bring yourself to accept it.
"I appreciate the apology, Annie", you replied coldly. "But sorry doesn't change what happened. It doesn't erase the fact that you lied to me, that you betrayed my trust".
Annie's expression fell, a sense of helplessness creeping into her features as she realized the depth of your pain. "I know", she whispered. "And I understand if you can't forgive us. But please know that I never meant to hurt you".
You met her gaze, the weight of her words sinking in. Despite the bitterness that still lingered within you, a part of you couldn't help but acknowledge the sincerity in her eyes. But even as you stood there, grappling with conflicting emotions, you knew that forgiveness wouldn't come easily, if it came at all.
With a heavy heart, you turned away from Annie and Hughie, your resolve firm as you made your way to your car.
With a heavy heart and a sense of determination, you drove towards the house Ben had urged you to go to. As you parked your car in front of the residence, a wave of uncertainty washed over you. But despite the apprehension that gnawed at your insides, you knew that staying here was the safest option for now.
Gathering your belongings, you stepped out of the car and made your way to the front door. The key that Ben had given you felt heavy in your hand as you unlocked the door and stepped inside.
The house was quiet. But as you walked through the rooms, a sense of calm settled over you. This was your sanctuary now, a place where you could find solace amidst the chaos that had consumed your life.
With a determined sigh, you began to unpack your belongings, each item finding its place in this new, unfamiliar space.
This was your new beginning, a chance to rebuild and redefine.
As you stepped into the kitchen, you found a big birthday cake on the table, together with another little box.
Surprised by the sight, you approached the table slowly, your heart pounding with a mixture of curiosity. The birthday cake stood proudly in the center.
Next to the cake sat a small box, meticulously wrapped in beautiful paper adorned with a delicate bow. Your fingers trembled slightly as you reached out to pick it up.
Carefully, you began to unwrap the package, your breath catching in your throat as you revealed the contents within.
As you peeled away the layers of wrapping paper, your breath caught in your throat as you beheld the contents of the box. Nestled within was a delicate necklace, its design exquisite and adorned with intricate details.
Your fingers traced the smooth curves of the pendant, marveling at the craftsmanship that had gone into its creation. A diamond “S” adorned the back, while a majestic eagle with sparkling diamonds adorned the front.
A soft smile tugged at the corners of your lips, as you couldn’t help but feel a sense of amusement at Ben’s choice of design. The symbolism was not lost on you - the “S” representing his name as a supe, and the eagle, a nod to Ben’s supe suit. It was his way of showing that you still belonged to him.
With a gentle sigh, you fastened the necklace around your neck, the cool metal resting against your skin like a reassuring embrace.
With the necklace now adorning your neck, you took out your phone. Your fingers hovering over the screen as you composed a text to Ben.
"Thank you for the beautiful necklace", you typed. "It's stunning, and I truly appreciate the thought behind it".
With a deep breath, you hit send, the message disappearing into the digital ether as you waited for a response. The seconds stretched into minutes, the silence of the house enveloping you as you anxiously awaited Ben's reply.
Finally, a notification chimed, signaling a new message. You eagerly opened it, your heart racing with anticipation.
Ben's response was swift.
"I'm glad you liked it", he wrote. "I hope there was a little smile on that beautiful lips of yours, even if just for a moment".
A pang of longing washed over you at his words. With a sigh, you set your phone down.
An hour later you were sitting on the bed, your heart skipping a beat when you received another text from Ben. The words "I miss you" illuminated on your phone screen. It was a simple phrase, but it carried a weight of emotion that left you breathless.
For a moment, you were at a loss for words, the gravity of Ben's admission sinking in. It was the first time he had openly expressed his feelings since the rift between you had formed, and it left you feeling both vulnerable and hopeful.
With trembling fingers, you typed out a response, your heart pounding in your chest as you struggled to find the right words.
"I miss you too", you wrote, the words spilling from you with a sense of raw honesty. "More than you know".
As you hit send, a sense of anticipation washed over you, mingled with a tinge of apprehension. The silence that followed was almost palpable, the weight of Ben's response hanging in the air like a delicate thread.
Finally, a notification chimed. With bated breath, you opened it, your heart racing.
Ben's words were filled with vulnerability and longing, a glimpse into the depths of his emotions that he had kept hidden for so long.
“I know I’m not good with words”, he wrote. “But I want you to know that I’m trying, for you. I want to be better, to be the man you deserve”.
Your heart swelled with a mix of emotions as you read his message, the weight of his admission weighing heavily on your mind. Despite the hurt and frustration that had led to your decision to take a break, a part of you couldn’t help but feel a glimmer of hope.
"I hope so", you typed, your fingers hesitating over the screen before hitting send. It was a simple response, but it carried the weight of your uncertainty and longing.
As you awaited Ben's reply, another wave of nausea washed over you, causing your stomach to churn with discomfort. With a sense of urgency, you set your phone down and hurried to the bathroom, the overwhelming sensation of sickness threatening to overtake you.
Barely making it to the toilet in time, you doubled over in nausea, your body wracked with involuntary spasms. It was a stark reminder of the physical toll that the emotional turmoil had taken on you, a manifestation of the stress and uncertainty that had consumed your life in recent days.
As you struggled to regain your composure, a sense of frustration washed over you, mingled with a deep-seated exhaustion.
———————————
A/N: Well, that was definitely not my favorite chapter and I found it extremely difficult to write it… but I'm looking forward to the next chapters. Stay tuned! Please let me know what you think.🥰
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Taglist: @deangirl96, @thatgirljayy, @suckitands33, @deans-spinster-witch@mimaria420@kaz11283@uncle-eggy@jackles010378@vxnilla-hxrddrugs @meowmeowyoongles@sarahgracej @zemosdarling228 @leila22rogers @mostlymarvelgirl@emily-winchester @blacknoirr @onlyangel-444@seasonofthenerd@staple-your-mouth@artemys-ackles@selfdestructionandrhum@mystic-mara @kat-nee
#jensen ackles#soldier boy#soldier boy x female reader#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x y/n#the boys#soldier boy x you#soldier boy fanfiction
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Was Jesus transgender?
Jay Hulme has written a fascinating thread about how theologians have understood the gender of Jesus. Even though no one thinks of Jesus as transgender in the modern sense, it is pretty clear that Jesus has been seen as crossing the gender binary.
Jay Hulme is a transgender poet, performer and education and you can find his web site here! Jay is currently Poet-in-Residence at ‘The Poet’s Church’, St Giles-in-the-Fields in Central London.
Recently there was some drama where news outlets got angry at a sermon which supposedly claimed Jesus was trans. Obviously the sermon did not say Jesus was trans - but it did touch on some fascinating (and very old) theology surrounding Jesus and gender. So let's talk about that.
God is not male
First I've gotta explain the Trinity... which is way too complex for twitter Suffice to say that God is not male (despite what you may have heard) and is in fact all genders and none simultaneously Jesus is God made flesh, God embodied as human. As a human man, yes, but also...
If you've been on Trans Twitter you'll have seen the "Jesus is trans" jokes. Saying his chromosomes had to be XX because he couldn't have got a Y from his Father. The meme about his side would being from top surgery But people have been playing with Jesus' gender for centuries
And the reason that people have been playing with Jesus' gender in art and theology and all that for centuries, is that Jesus gives us REASON to. So, of course, as we expand our understanding of gender in the modern world, we expand that to trans stuff too.
For all mankind
So lets talk about how, historically, the "Masculinity" of Jesus has been seen and considered, shall we?
So the whole point of Jesus is that he comes for ALL of humankind. We are told that we are all capable of, and supposed to work towards, being "christlike" - after all, Jesus is the embodiment of a genderless (or genderfull) God. The point is not that Jesus is a man, but a HUMAN.
And Jesus is clear about the fact that he didn't come as "a man" but "a human". So clear that all of the Gospel writers agree on it. In fact, throughout the Gospels Jesus never uses the word "anēr" (male/masculine) to describe himself. He always uses "anthrōpos" (human).
Jesus is the human incarnation of a God who is all genders and none, all at the same time; a God that has created each of us in their own image - all of us, of every gender - and therefore Jesus is not simply "male", but "human", and theologians have long recognised this.
Jesus as mother
Understanding that Jesus isn't merely "male", theologians have often described Jesus as a "mother" - most famously Julian of Norwich, who wrote in the 1300's, said: "Jesus Christ therefore, who himself overcame evil with good, is our true Mother."
Julian of Norwich also stated "The mother can give her child to suck of her milk, but our precious Mother Jesus can feed us with himself, and does, most courteously and most tenderly, with the blessed sacrament, which is the precious food of true life"
This idea of the sacrament as breast milk was not unique to Julian - many theologians drew the connection between these life giving things - even reflecting Rabbinic understandings of the Manna from Heaven as breast milk to create a long thread of understanding.
But one of the most "contentious" parts of the sermon that started this furore and started this thread is a particular (and long held) understanding of Jesus' side wound. Obviously, Julian has thoughts on that, too...
Julian says: "The mother can lay her child tenderly to her breast, but our tender Mother Jesus can lead us easily into his blessed breast through his sweet open side, and show us there a part of the godhead and of the joys of heaven, with inner certainty of endless bliss."
Jesus side wound
Medieval Christians were OBSESSED with Jesus' side wound. It was the highlight of artistic depictions, the focus of sermons, the content of visions. And one of the main things they saw it as, was some kind of portal...
And by "portal", I do, of course, mean vagina. And that's what the oh so contentious sermon said - "look, medieval christian art saw Jesus' side wound as a vagina. Let's talk about that."
The idea is that Jesus gives life. Like a mother giving birth. Jesus raising Lazarus from the tomb, Jesus himself rising from the tomb, they both involve the miraculous drawing out of human life from a dark cave, along a tunnel, and into the light. Sounds a lot like childbirth.
We say that Christ died so that we could live. The Bible says it a lot. Many theologians, living in a time where death in childbirth was common, and childbirth itself could be horrifically painful drew the connection between Christ's physical death on the cross and childbirth.
Theologians saw Jesus' agony on the cross as a form of 'labour' as he 'birthed' new life for all of us. And so, when the soldier pieced his side, proving he was dead, and "blood and water" came out, they saw that as the moment of 'birth'. Like blood and water come in childbirth
With that in mind, when an opening in a body brings forth water and blood, and in the midst of that water and blood comes new life... it's fair to think of it as a vagina. So medieval artists, depicting that moment, depicted Jesus' side wound as such. It was a thing.
The femininity of Jesus
There's also all the theology that surrounded Jesus' actions: theologians living in times of strict gender roles obsessed over the "femininity" of Jesus feeding and serving others. Even speaking to women as if they were equal. Of him taking the "feminine role" in his interactions
But this thread is already very long...
In summary: If you think it's heresy to see Jesus as "feminine" or "mother" or anything other than a masculine macho manly man, you're wrong. And if you think it's "modern woke nonsense", then you've not been paying attention to centuries of theology, or the Gospels themselves.
One day I'll do a whole thread on how it actually is Big Trans Vibes for God to shrink down to a single "gender" and body to walk among us as Jesus, and how weird that must have been for Jesus to suddenly be "male" and not "the genderweird vibe of God" but that's for another time
Ppl have been going BUT WHAT ABOUT 'THE SON OF MAN' and my friends, the earliest Gospels we've got are Ancient Greek and Luke 9:22 says "υἱός τοῦ ἀνθρώπου" υἱός is often translated as "male child" but regularly applies to female children ἀνθρώπου means "human / humanity"
Full twitter thread here!
Photo from the Norwegian play Jesus, the Queen of Heaven, where the Norwegian transgender pioneer Esben Esther Pirelli Benestad played Jesus. Photo by Fin Serck-Hanssen.
#trans#transgender#queer#lgbt#lgbtqa#jesus#theology#gender theology#christianity#essential#history#religion
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Cryptidclaw's WC Prefixes List!
Yall said you were interested in seeing it so here it is!
This is a collection of mostly Flora, Fauna, Rocks, and other such things that can be found in Britain since that’s where the books take place!
I also have other Prefixes that have to do with pelt colors and patterns as well!
Here’s a link to the doc if you dont want to expand a 650 word list on your Tumblr feed lol! the doc is also in my drive linked in my pined post!
below is the actual list! If there are any names you think I should add plz tell me!
EDIT: I will update the doc with new names as I come up with them or have them suggested to me, but I wont update the list on this post! Plz visit my doc for a more updated version!
Animals
Mammal
Badger
Bat
Bear
Beaver
Bison
Boar
Buck
Calf
Cow
Deer
Elk
Fawn
Ferret
Fox
Goat
Hare
Horse
Lamb
Lynx
Marten
Mole
Mouse
Otter
Rabbit
Rat
Seal
Sheep
Shrew
Squirrel
Stoat
Vole
Weasel
Wolf
Wolverine
Amphibians
Frog
Newt
Toad
Reptiles
Scale
Adder
Lizard
Snake
Turtle
Shell
Birds
Bird
Down
Feather
Albatross
Bittern
Buzzard
Chaffinch
Chick
Chicken
Coot
Cormorant
Corvid
Crane
Crow
Curlew
Dove
Duck
Dunlin
Eagle
Egret
Falcon
Finch
Gannet
Goose
Grouse
Gull
Hawk
Hen
Heron
Ibis
Jackdaw
Jay
Kestrel
Kite
Lark
Magpie
Mallard
Merlin
Mockingbird
Murrelet
Nightingale
Osprey
Owl
Partridge
Pelican
Peregrine
Petrel
Pheasant
Pigeon
Plover
Puffin
Quail
Raven
Robin
Rook
Rooster
Ruff
Shrike
Snipe
Sparrow
Starling
Stork
Swallow
Swan
Swift
Tern
Thrasher
Thrush
Vulture
Warbler
Whimbrel
Wren
Freshwater Fish
Fish
Bass
Bream
Carp
Dace
Eel
Lamprey
Loach
Minnow
Perch
Pike
Rudd
Salmon
Sterlet
Tench
Trout
Roach
Saltwater fish and other Sea creatures (would cats be able to find some of these? Probably not, I don't care tho)
Alge
Barnacle
Bass (Saltwater version)
Bream (Saltwater version)
Brill
Clam
Cod
Crab
Dolphin
Eel (Saltwater version)
Flounder
Garfish
Halibut
Kelp
Lobster
Mackerel
Mollusk
Orca
Prawn
Ray
Seal
Shark
Shrimp
Starfish
Sting
Urchin
Whale
Insects and Arachnids
Honey
Insect
Web
Ant
Bee
Beetle
Bug
Butterfly
Caterpillar
Cricket
Damselfly
Dragonfly
Fly
Grasshopper
Grub
Hornet
Maggot
Moth
Spider
Wasp
Worm
Trees
Acorn
Bark
Branch
Forest
Hollow
Log
Root
Stump
Timber
Tree
Twig
Wood
Alder
Apple
Ash
Aspen
Beech
Birch
Cedar
Cherry
Chestnut
Cypress
Elm
Fir
Hawthorn
Hazel
Hemlock
Linden
Maple
Oak
Pear
Poplar
Rowan
Redwood
Spruce
Willow
Yew
Flowers, Shrubs and Other plants
Berry
Blossom
Briar
Field
Flower
Leaf
Meadow
Needle
Petal
Shrub
Stem
Thicket
Thorn
Vine
Anemone
Apricot
Barley
Bellflower
Bluebell
Borage
Bracken
Bramble
Briar
Burnet
Buttercup
Campion
Chamomile
Chanterelle
Chicory
Clover
Cornflower
Daffodil
Daisy
Dandelion
Dogwood
Fallow
Fennel
Fern
Flax
Foxglove
Furze
Garlic
Ginger
Gorse
Grass
Hay
Heather
Holly
Honeysuckle
Hop
Hyacinth
Iris
Ivy
Juniper
Lavender
Lichen
Lilac
Lilly
Mallow
Marigold
Mint
Mistletoe
Moss
Moss
Mushroom
Nettle
Nightshade
Oat
Olive
Orchid
Parsley
Periwinkle
Pine
Poppy
Primrose
Privet
Raspberry
Reed
Reedmace
Rose
Rush
Rye
Saffron
Sage
Sedge
Seed
Snowdrop
Spindle
Strawberry
Tangerine
Tansy
Teasel
Thistle
Thrift
Thyme
Violet
Weed
Wheat
Woodruff
Yarrow
Rocks and earth
Agate
Amber
Amethyst
Arch
Basalt
Bounder
Cave
Chalk
Coal
Copper
Dirt
Dust
Flint
Garnet
Gold
Granite
Hill
Iron
Jagged
Jet
Mountain
Mud
Peak
Pebble
Pinnacle
Pit
Quartz
Ridge
Rock
Rubble
Ruby
Rust(y)
Sand
Sapphire
Sediment
Silt
Silver
Slate
Soil
Spire
Stone
Trench
Zircon
Water Formations
Bay
Cove
Creek
Delta
Lake
Marsh
Ocean
Pool
Puddle
River
Sea
Water
Weather and such
Autumn
Avalanche
Balmy
Blaze
Blizzard
Breeze
Burnt
Chill
Cinder
Cloud
Cold
Dew
Drift
Drizzle
Drought
Dry
Ember
Fall
Fire
Flame
Flood
Fog
Freeze
Frost
Frozen
Gale
Gust
Hail
Ice
Icicle
Lightening
Mist
Muggy
Rain
Scorch
Singe
Sky
Sleet
Sloe
Smoke
Snow
Snowflake
Soot
Sorrel
Spark
Spring
Steam
Storm
Summer
Sun
Thunder
Water
Wave
Wet
Wind
Winter
Celestial??
Comet
Dawn
Dusk
Evening
Midnight
Moon
Morning
Night
Noon
Twilight
Cat Features, Traits, and Misc.
Azure
Beige
Big
Black
Blonde
Blotch(ed)
Blue
Bounce
Bright
Brindle
Broken
Bronze
Brown
Bumble
Burgundy
Call
Carmine
Claw
Cobalt
Cream
Crimson
Cry
Curl(y)
Dapple
Dark
Dot(ted)
Dusky
Ebony
Echo
Fallen
Fleck(ed)
Fluffy
Freckle
Ginger
Golden
Gray
Green
Heavy
Kink
Knot(ted)
Light
Little
Lost
Loud
Marbled
Mew
Milk
Mottle
Mumble
Ochre
Odd
One
Orange
Pale
Patch(ed)
Pounce
Prickle
Ragged
Red
Ripple
Rough
Rugged
Russet
Scarlet
Shade
Shaggy
Sharp
Shimmer
Shining
Small
Smudge
Soft
Song
Speckle
Spike
Splash
Spot(ted)
Streak
Stripe(d)
Strong
Stump(y)
Sweet
Tall
Talon
Tangle
Tatter(ed)
Tawny
Tiny
Tough
Tumble
Twist
Violet
Whisker
Whisper
White
Wild
Wooly
Yellow
#cryptidclaw's warriors au#?#Im tempted to use these in the au#some characters deserve some more fun names hehe#rise of change#warrior cats#warrior cats design#warriors#warriors names#warriors naming#warriors prefixes
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[[ STOP KOSA ]]
[[ RULES ]]
[[ GAMES AND GAME RULES ]]
[[ PRIZE CORNER ]]
Some context: Text Doctors are a collection of Tumblr-based RP blogs featuring plague doctors made out of ASCII symbols with their own unique lore, they're mostly variants of the first one to don the title, Doctor Screech, a eldritch monster who hails from the abyss and landed in a world of violet occupied by walking fungal-infected-corpses and other such nasties.
HEY YOU! ARE YOU BORED? WHO AM I KIDDING, YOU FOUND THIS BLOG SO OF COURSE YOU ARE, LUCKILY FOR YOU, THIS IS AN BLOG FOR THE MOST… INTERESTING PLACE ON THE WEB!
WELCOME, LADIES, GENTS, AND EVERYONE ELSE TO
A PLACE OF INTRIGUE AND DANGER, MYSTERY AND WONDER! WHERE GAMES FEEL ALMOST ALIVE AND THE OWNER IS OVERJOYED TO MEET NEW FRIENDS!
ARCADE SCHEDULE
OPEN - 9:00 OR 11:00 AM
CLOSE 11:00 PM
AFTER HOURS - 12:00 PM TO 6:00 AM
MORE INFO BELOW, ENJOY YOUR STAY!
ENTRY #1: THE DENIZENS
J:\\ THE MAKER \\\\
>> Jay. a 5’8, 17 (now 18) year old boy (when he feels like) with tan skin, wearing a black hoodie with a green “87” on it, grey sweatpants, and black shoes, under his hood lies a led visor displaying green animated eyes. He runs an arcade, overseen by a plague doctor suit made out of keyboard symbols, it has a parasitic relationship with his soul that enhances his ego. he runs an arcade as a front to gain more power to cut the strings of fate the gods have cast upon him.
[ jay speaks like this. ]
Jay, he found his way into a mysterious world occupied by a lone plague doctor, a beast who wore a mask of violet, the first ever "text doctor", at least, that's what he called himself, the plague doctor made out of... ASCII symbols? His name was Screech (@the-text-doctor), they got to know each other, the beast was wiser, older, had a family and most of all? POWER. Jay eventually stumbled onto a stray portal, and found a dimension with a lone arcade in it. It was empty, abandoned. It was quiet at first. Then the trials began with new technology Jay founded. His suit. A green, distorted form of the plague doctor made of symbols he met from days before. it was a beast forever crying emerald tears.. It took over the dimension. Slowly at first, but then rapidly, the floors turned black, the walls turned a dark shade of green, the arcade grew, seemingly floating. It was all falling into place.
J:\\ THE SUIT \\\\
A green plague doctor made out of ASCII symbols, slashes make up his limbs and torso, and tear streaks fall down his mask. His left arm is corrupted heavily, with claws made of black triangles. He also has one corrupted wing made out of corrupted textures and glitch artifacts, on his chest lies a dark green mantle with two mirroring "J"s. His belt is made of square brackets and equal signs. This suit was made a host of the place it is now known for, but also to fight, and fight it does, it would be unwise to pick a fight with it in it's unnatural habitat.
thanks to @just-hyper-active for jotette's neck fluff
[ J:\\ JOTA SPEAKS LIKE THIS. ]
[ ♀J:\\ JOTETTE SPEAKS LIKE THIS. ]
The suit, when worn, made him agitated, angry, violent, egotistical, envious, and any other sense of the words, so much so that it took over his very soul, encasing it in a green hue, and wings, ever since, everyone wanted that exotic, digitized soul for themselves.
The Jotette side grade makes Jay feels as if he's the prettiest thing on two legs, still as pyschopathic.
It was perfect for what he needed. He's been researching other worlds for a while, so they were next, but until then? He needed somewhere to cover up his research... the arcade would do just fine. He'd get to lounge around all day, and work on gaining more strength by night. Eventually, he opened the arcade, and attracted quite a crowd. He didn't feel much for them, just lambs to the slaughter, he thought. but eventually he grew fond of some of his visitors, some he loved seeing, some less so. his power grew... but he needed more.
He eventually found other worlds, more creatures like his suit, “text doctors” as he calls them, more forms to take, more things to assimilate into his growing matrix of code and hate.
J:\\ THE LESSER GODS \\\
In the world of digital evils known only by "EXEs", there lie creatures who couldn't get their hands on the vessels everybody knows them for, Sonic, Mario, Pac-Man, the like. These creatures have been festering inside unknown and uncared for video games, i.e one-off titles or edutainment games. They all think the ranks of Sonic.EXE have it too easy since they have more recognizable vessels, so they've decided to form in gangs of sorts, Jay has felt pity for them, and built a refuge for some of them called Circuitboard City.
ENTRY #2: THE DIMENSION, THE BOARDER BETWEEN THE PHYSICAL AND DIGITAL REALMS
J:\\ OUTSIDE \\\\
A vast, black expanse, adorned with grid-patterned green lines and shrouded mountains that conceal Circuitboard City. Green floating stairs serve as the arcade entrance, the space under the arcade leading to an underground subway entry point for access to Circuitboard City.
J:\\ SUBWAY \\\\
The Subway, a dark green and somewhat dirty underground passage, links the arcade to the wonders of Circuitboard City, some Lesser Gods have taken refuge here as opposed to Circuitboard City.
J:\\ CIRCUITBOARD CITY \\\\
helped by @just-hyper-active
The cyber-city sprawls beyond the mountains, initially visible like a distant skybox. However, the true nature of this place is revealed when you journey there through the Subway, unlocking Circuitboard City in it's fullest. Jay shelters Lesser Gods amidst the skyscrapers, surrounded by advertisements for JOTA's Arcade.
J:\\ ARCADE INTERIOR \\\\
Inside the arcade, a surreal extension of JOTA's twisted yet whimsical persona unfolds with moving wall patterns and nonsensical floors. Rows of cabinets, a prize corner, and a maintenance room entrance mark the journey. As one ascends towards JOTA's office, the rooms defy Euclidean logic, with unconventional door placements, and other such glitchy mishaps.
J:\\ HALLWAY \\\\
A simple hallway stretching to both the left and right of the office.
J:\\ MYSTICS ROOM \\\\
A room where Jay's been studying various deities and other such creatures, such as Zalgo, Screech, and more. This room is to the left of the office hallway.
J:\\ JOTA'S OFFICE \\\\
JOTA's office, a dark green room adorned with silver accents. A faux bird rug lies in the center, and a dark green desk bears a lunatic's scribbles. Nearby stands a simple polygon statue of a pixelated emerald-textured plague doctor. Wall sketches depict a green heart with expansive wings and stylized plague doctors drawn from simple lines and shapes. Above, a mounted skull with a "GAME OVER - JOTAPHOBIA" plaque completes the room.
J:\\ JAY'S BEDROOM \\\\
Jay's bedroom, features a beanbag bed, the sole Sega Genesis in the arcade ever since a run-in with Sonic.EXE himself, Sonic posters, and invisible ink-laden posters of the other text doctors, the Cade Crew, and Jay himself. The dark green room houses a simple stand with drawers, holding obscure games, and a basic TV. This room is to the right of the office hallway.
J:\\ JOTA'S THRONE \\\\
On the main floor, JOTA's throne, a giant green chair, stands amidst corrupted textures and computer parts, adorned with a "GAME OVER" banner.
J:\\ SUIT JUNGLE \\\\
Behind the curtains of the throne room lies the enigmatic Suit Jungle, featuring towering, unreachable arcade cabinets and one of them stands far above the rest, displaying myriad copies of JOTA's suit, glaring at whoever roams by, amid twisted metal trees and digital leaves, static falls like water and error messages are the closest thing to clouds, more copies of the suit are found crawling around, acting as birds, glitching green messages, seemingly written by Jay himself adorn the place's floors and walls.
the voices I have for all of my anons unless said otherwise: https://tts.cyzon.us
EXE
Jay first encountered Sonic.EXE, also known as "X," during an event called Incident X. This voidspawn manifested itself as Sonic and attempted to claim Jay's soul. The encounter took place fashionably late at JOTA's arcade, following the Halloween EXE Takeover in 2023. Since then, X has been engaging in periodic battles with Jay's suit.
X derives pleasure from toying with human souls, leaving Jay concerned about how long he can keep the entity amused before facing potential death. In the aftermath of the incident, Jay discovered the existence of other entities similar to X, collectively referred to as The Lesser Gods or The X Underlings.
#important jota lore#jehehe#god this took forever#rp blog#writing#oc rp#roleplay blog#ask blog#roleplay#asks are open#my writing#writers on tumblr#writeblr#creative writing#writerscommunity#worldbuilding#sonic.exe#exe oc#exe community#creepypasta#.exe#pinned post#introduction post#blog intro
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Imagine aro/ace Hobie Brown with silk chickens climbing all over him while he’s sitting in a beanbag chair, and him wearing a shirt that says “chick magnet”.
💀
Peak humor my guy. I saw this and I started cracking up for a decent while 🤣
THESE CHICKENS ARE SO FLUFFY OMG 🥺
Photos for reference
All of a sudden Ansi has picked up felting
CHICKEN OWNER HOBIE THO
I didn't know I needed this till now 😭
#hobie headcanons#hobie brown#ace hobie#aro hobie#aroace headcanons#aroace hc#atsv hobie#jay webs words
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No capes au where the Spiderband and Miles G are childhood best friends and Miles is a trans girl named Mirasol for the sake of telling them apart(and because i'll take any excuse to include my take on transfem Miles into anything).The twins are the protags and it starts with the beginning of Hobie's senior year of high school which leads to Mirasol finally having her love epiphany about him because of how upset she is that he'll be leaving New York to travel after it's over and there's tons of romantic shenanigans that could've easily been avoided if she stopped denying how openly down had for her Hobie is and has been since they were 14 and 16.Meanwhile Miles G and Margo have an agreement where he pretends to be her boyfriend online to scare off creepers and word gets out at school and they have their own romcom thanks to it(Mirasol and Miles G be twins for a reason).Gwen and Peni's stories are a lot darker,with Gwen dealing with George's abuse and Peni with her parents death but they end up getting adopted by Peter B,who's their science teacher,and MJ and Pavitr has a self-acceptance journey where he learns to not beat himself up over being percived as stupid because of his adhd and proves how smart he is by passing every test with flying colors.I call this one 'Webs that keep us together'
@chessbox @insomniac-jay @julieemarine @floof-ghostie @moonage-gaydream @cottoncandyteeth @cottoncandyspikes @lovelyheartclover @leo-thecactus @jelmet @edityrhometown @thisismisogynoir @ph4ntomed @clanofjones @honeypotsworld
#i indiefied spiderverse y'all lmao#webs that keep us together#spiderband#miles morales#miles g morales#trans girl miles#mirasol morales#hobie brown#margo kess#margo tag#gwen stacy#peni parker#pavitr prabhakar#punkflower#prowlerbyte#t4t punkflower#t4t prowlerbyte#peter b parker#mj watson#petermj#t4t petermj#spiderman#💌#letters from summer
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Media Literacy Masterpost
This post is constantly evolving. You can help by sharing resources you know, pointing out broken links or even expressing criticism of the resources provided here if you have any. Come back any time to see if there's anything new. (Google Docs version for easier sharing outside tumblr)
Updated: September 14th 2023
The Basics
Get answers to the first questions you might have: What is media literacy? Why should I care? How does it affect me and others? Is there even anything I can still learn if I feel pretty internet-savvy? And more.
Websites
Get a more in-depth look at certain aspects of media literacy and learn about and apply media literacy skills. (alphabetical order)
Casey Fiesler
Check Your Fact
The Conspiracy Chart
Harvard Misinformation Review
InVid
The Media Bias Chart
Media Literacy Now
MediaSmarts
MediaWise (by Poynter)
National Association for Media Literacy Education
News Literacy Project
Poynter
Reuters Fact Check
SourceWatch
Truth Decay Project Tools Database* (A lot of websites that are relevant are listed here. Only websites that aren't on that list will be listed in this post)
Articles
See what experts have to say.
Interactive Learning Tools
This can help you learn about media literacy in a more hands-on way. (alphabetical order)
Critical Thinking Project
Go Viral! (Covid Misinformation)
News Lit Quiz
Truth Decay Project Education/Training Tools* (A lot of interactive tools that are relevant are listed here. Only websites and tools that aren't on that list will be listed in this post)
Social Media
Following these accounts can help sharpen your media literacy skills and you don't even have to do much because it will just pop up in your feeds! Follow, like, comment, retweet, etc. to help spread the word. (alphabetical order)
Instagram
Media Literacy Now
MediaWise
PolitiFact
TikTok
Abbie Richards
Adam Conover
Aslan Pahari
Astro Alexandra
babs_zone
Hank Green
MediaWise
PolitiFact
Professor Casey
Zeke Darwin
Tumblr
@is-the-post-reliable
Twitter
I have personally left twitter due to its new ownership, so it will be difficult for me to keep vetting the listed accounts the way I used to, however I will keep them listed as long as I still trust them.
Abbie Richards
AFP Fact Check
Fact-Checking Network
Media Literacy Now
MediaWise
National Association for Media Literacy Education
PolitiFact
Reuters Fact Check
YouTube
MediaSmarts
MediaWise
PolitiFact
Bonus
My media literacy tag
Remember to share these resources to help shape a world wide web that is safer and smarter and protect yourself and others from manipulation and radicalization.
* Criticism of this source has been expressed. I've provided my reasoning to still include it as well. I encourage you to make your own judgement.
[Image ID in alt]
(I could since then not find an obvious bias in the lists that I have linked)
Information on the history of the RAND Corporation and its involvement with the US Military here.
#I finally did it y'all... I finally made the masterpost#I spent all night on this :')#media literacy#misinformation#disinformation#conspiracies#conspiracy theories#fake news#twitter#tumblr#tiktok#facebook#instagram#mediawise#hank green#crashcourse#navigating digital information#learning#knowledge#today i learned#interesting#studyblr#resources#did you know#internet#media literacy masterpost#masterpost#internet safety#this post is gonna change drastically if the truth decay projects accepts all the submissions I made that aren't on their website yet#but since they haven't updated the tools list since 2019 I don't have much hope
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The Redamancy AU
Redamancy AU is what I affectionately call my Ninjago re-write. I'd thought I'd share some changes to the main cast's pre-main story lives for funsies :D
Kai:
He and Nya are raised by their mother's bestfriend(Tomoe Kobayashi) and her best friend's husband husband(Hikaru Kobayashi).
Kai got his fire element from his mother Amara.
He lives in a village that lays at the base of the mountain that the monastery lays upon.
Kai works with the Kobayashi family since it was easy work and it gave him daylight hours to do whatever.
Kai has Dyslexia and ADHD(Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)
His full name is Kai Isamu Smith. He is sixteen years old. His birthday is August 1st.
Nya:
She and Kai are raised by their mother's bestfriend(Tomoe Kobayashi) and her bestfriend's husband(Hikaru Kobayashi)
Nya operates as Samurai X and prefers to work alone rather than as a team anyway.
Nya listens to a radio station called 'South Eastern Archipelago Oceanic Radio Station' or SEAORS that reports the ever changing status of the South Eastern Archipelago. She likes the pirate stories.
Nya had an apprenticeship with an inventor named Marnie Grace who lived in the village Nya grew up in. Nya eventually ends it to become Samurai X.
Nya has a special assistant she built named Ruth who keeps her lab clean, as well as alert Nya to disturbances in Ninjago and keep track of correspondence between Destiny's Bounty.
Her full name is Nya Tomoe Smith. She is fifteen years old. Her birthday is October 29th.
Lloyd:
Lloyd had a caretaker named Delphi who acts more like an older sister than a mother. But Lloyd doesn't care. He's just happy to have someone. Not like he'd admit it or anything.
Lloyd has purple eyes and very sharp canines from being conceived by Misako and Lord Garmadon while Lord Garmadon was very much so a demon-like man.
He wanted to be a comic artist before he got sent into the Ninjago foster system.
Lloyd has ADHD(Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and ASD(Autism Spectrum Disorder)
Garmadon is not Lloyd's actual last name nor is it Lord Garmadon's actual name. Garmadon was an ancient word in a now long dead language of Ninjago. Garmadon meant 'Dominant, In Control'
Lloyd's full name is Lloyd Montgomery Ito. His birthday is July 5th. Lloyd is eight years old.
Zane:
Zane causes extreme feelings of unease around normal people and people feel extremely cold when around him.
Zane has been chased out of 16 villages because they thought him an Oni desperately trying to hold onto a human form.
Sensei Wu found Zane when he went to investigate the claims of a shapeshifting Oni. Sensei Wu brought Zane to The Monastery under the promise of a family and not being chased out of another village.
Zane is specifically built to function and grow like a human because although an artificial automaton, the remnants of the last Elemental Master of Ice live and breathe within him, making him an elemental master in wait of finding his old life.
Zane is very friendly with the Yōkai that Master Wu employs to keep his information webs strong. He is especially friendly with the kitsune on the coastal village of Hayami in the South Eastern Archipelago.
Zane's full name is Zane Boreas Julien. His creation date is February 18th. He is sixteen years old.
Jay:
Jay's biological parents are a swindler named Flynn Watts and a school teacher named Mary Walker. Mary Walker offered Jay to her brother Edward and his wife Janis because Mary didn't have the salary for raising Jay. Edward and Janis jumped at the opportunity to raise a child. No one told Jay his Aunt Mary was actually his mother.
Jay had a pet guinea pig as a kid named 'Scraps'. Scraps fell into a trash compacter.
Jay was homeschooled by Janis and Edward until fourth grade. He exceled so hard he ended up skipping a few grades and being a high school sophomore at age thirteen before Sensei Wu found him.
Jay took online classes while training with Sensei Wu and is the only one of the ninja to have finished high school.
Jay was taught how to ballroom dance by Janis who used to competitively ballroom dance before getting too old to safely do it without hurting himself.
Jay's full name is Jay Benedict Walker. His birthday is September 10th. He is fifteen years old.
Cole:
Cole has a childhood bestfriend/girlfriend he calls Aster who he writes letters to. He sends her letters scented with his cologne. Aster sends dried aster flowers enclosed in her letters to him.
Cole is a naturally big boi. His father used to hate this.
Cole loves cake so much because he never was allowed to have any as a kid and to him cake tastes like freedom.
Cole ran away from The Martin Oppenheimer School of Performing Arts after two days. He was fourteen. Sensei Wu found Cole and convinced Cole to come with him.
Cole was the first ninja taken in by Sensei Wu.
Cole's full name is Nicholas Claude Brookstone. His birthday is December 30th. He is seventeen years old.
#fanfic#fanfiction#wattpad#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago fanfiction#ninjago kai#ninjago jay#ninjago zane#ninjago cole#ninjago nya#ninjago lloyd#kai smith#jay walker#zane julien#cole brookstone#nya smith#lloyd garmadon#kai ninjago#jay ninjago#zane ninjago#cole ninjago#nya ninjago#lloyd ninjago#ninjago headcanons
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Text
Marks of Magic
Day 4 Leaves of Maribat Spooktober 2023
First *** Previous *** Next
Language and cursing is used
1540 Words
~~~~~~~~~~
She’s been at Gotham Academy for a little over a month and the seasons were starting to turn. She was sitting in Gotham Park under a giant white oak in the middle of the park.
Sure she had to deal with an odd rogue here and there but this was peaceful.
"You know you shouldn’t be alone." She looked up from her book and saw Jason standing above her.
"I haven’t been here that long." She put away the sketchbook in her bag as she got up.
"Really?" He reached above her and plucked something from her hat. "It seems you’ve been here long enough to start growing leaves, Nettie."
"I wouldn’t have if you actually got here when you said you would." She pouted at being called out, mostly because she did loose track of everything that happened around her. More than likely she was under that tree for an hour or two.
"B was being a pain, Alfred’s been watching me like a hawk, and…" He trailed off, he looked down kicking the ground.
"Jay." She grabbed his hands, they were cold but he didn’t seem to notice, pulling them up as his eyes followed the motion. "What happened?"
"It’s nothing." He grumbled looking away from her. So she grabbed his shoulder and squeeze them.
"Jason Peter Todd, Wayzz help me, for fucks sake something is bothering you so spill before I make you." She pulled him up slightly so they were eye level with each other. She was taller by a few centimeters but still.
"It’s nothing, really."
"It’s not nothing." She let him go. "You don't have to tell me, but if you want to I'll listen."
"I… not yet."
"Okay." She didn’t pry but knows her friend needs a distraction. "So why are there skeletons and spider webs going up everywhere?"
"What do you mean, it’s October."
"Yes and?" She tilted her head to the side, wondering why the month made a difference.
"Halloween!"
"What?"
"Have you never had Halloween?!"
"Sorry can’t say I have."
"Is it not a thing in Paris?" She shook her head in response. "Everyone gets dressed up and there is a huge festival here in the park. We would…" He would have kept talking but seemed to catch himself.
Fall she understood, granted back home it would be winding down from tourist season which meant a few final fairs would pop up. But there wouldn’t be much to note.
But this! This seemed like so much fun she had to try it.
"Dressed up, in costume?"
"Yeah! Heroes and demons, angels and monsters. Anything really."
She thought of elegant suits and dresses, masquerade was what she pictured. Not what Jay was describing at all.
"This is flying over your head, huh?"
"A bit."
"So what do you want to do?"
"It’s getting late, maybe grab a bite?"
"There’s a pretty good hotdog cart near by." Jason jabbed his thumb behind him.
"Lead the way."
Granted they weren’t even out of the park when they noticed. However in their defense they were pretty much in their own little world. It got eerily quiet, but just as fast everything came into hyper focus.
"Now which one of you was lucky number 13 to leave and set off the area?" Mari quickly looked around before her eyes focused on a stage of sorts and a man in a tacky three piece green suit with purple question marks all over it. She should probably keep more of an eye on rogue locations and incarcerations, but she just turned 14 and this should not be on her to do list.
"Well why don’t the two of you participate together, then." The Riddler practically giggled as a few henchmen shoved them into the center of this makeshift square.
Police cruisers blocked the street in order to stop traffic. The Riddler was standing on the bed of a semi truck with canons on either side of him, and what she assumes is a detonator in his hand.
"Three riddles, three detonators set up around the park. For each wrong answer I push a button, but if you’re right I won’t touch it."
"And how do we know you’ll actually keep your word?" Jason shouted at the villain.
"Quick on the suspicion, aren’t we! Where’s the fun if there’s no trust. Now!"
Mari was planning, she knows he wouldn’t actually let them go if they were right so she had to think. Two must be duds so... even if they answer right he could toss them, only one switch works so which is it?
"Let’s start simple and festive, shall we? Why do zombies never win at poker?"
She looked at Jason since she had no idea, yet he had a shit eating grin on his face.
"Because they have a tell-tale heart." Of course an Edgar Allen Poe reference, that explains his grin.
"One down two to go, kiddies." He dropped a remote, almost as if to prove it was in good faith, two remotes, it’s a 50 / 50 shot.
"Walk on the living, they don't even mumble, step on the dead, they mutter and grumble."
She blinked, the answer was simple. "Leaves."
"And the little miss speaks, correct". He drops one more remote, but this time he pulls a cane from behind him. Two henchmen come and grab each of them. The cane pointing at her, and she noticed the hollow barrel, a gun in the cane.
"Last one." Should she have been more surprised maybe, but who knows at this point. "While some spring forward, I choose to fall back. Come and join me while you sit on a haystack. I may show a movie with a crazed maniac, I will for sure host a festival to give you a heart attack."
Jay was staring livid, too angry to say a word, as he grit his teeth. This was not how she was going to die.
Sass.
Was all she thought when she closed her eyes, the riddle ringing in her mind, but no answer came. Then she opened them.
"There’s a pretty good hotdog cart near by." Jason jabbed his thumb behind him.
She looked at him puzzled, there was no way that happened, but it was so vivid in her mind, could it have actually happened, and how did she come back to this moment.
"Hey earth to Nettie is anyone home in there."
She felt a flick on her forehead, as her attention was drawn to Jay.
"Sorry I got the strangest feeling of deja-vu. This might be off the wall but… " She took a breath and recited. "While some spring forward, I choose to fall back. Come and join me while you sit on a haystack. I may show a movie with a crazed maniac, I will for sure host a festival to give you a heart attack."
"A riddle really?"
"I know it silly but it’s stuck in my head." She shrugged trying to play it off.
"October." They were walking now. "That’s the answer."
"Oh."
And then it happened, the Riddler, his speech, the suspicion from Jason, and it clicked, she called on Sass’s power, she turned back time.
"Now! Let’s start simple and festive, shall we? Why do zombies… "
She didn’t let him finish before she answered. "Because they have a tell-tale heart."
He was surprised and dropped a remote like before. "Walk on… "
"Leaves."
"While…" He stalked towards her.
"October." Things had changed, but she crossed her arms, a sense of confidence and lack of fear, made her ask. "Can you cut the theatrics now?"
"Why you little brat." He lunged at her and she pulled her fist back and caught him square in the nose before flipping him on his back.
She debated on answering him but she didn’t have to as Batman flew onto the scene.
"How? You? Nette?" Jay stumbled through his words.
"I’m from Paris, why wouldn’t I know how to do this?" She shrugged.
"I have more questions."
"Which can wait." An officer came out from the police line. "May we get a statement."
She looked over at Jason who was again staring at his shoes as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world, a feeling that someone was watching them, prickled down her spine.
"Yes, but do you mind driving us home after, it’s getting late." She tried to sound a bit shaken at the events and the officer smiled at her. He seemed honest enough.
"Of course I can, what’s your name."
"Marinette."
"I’m commissioner Gordon, and your Jason, right." She looked between the two, he nodded but Jay still avoided everyone’s eyes. "Alright let’s go."
The commissioner guided them away from the scene.
They gave a short statement before they were driven home.
She was the first one to be dropped off, and Jason tugged on her sleeve as she was getting out.
"Can…" He whispered but stopped. "Good night."
"Night Jay." She smiled as he let go, but she knows something is wrong. But she can’t do anything if he won’t tell her so she’ll wait.
"Come on Wayne." She heard as the door closed, and she blinked.
Did she hear that right. No it can’t be… can it.
Next
~~~~~~~~~~
Taglist:
@jennifer-rose123 @toodaloo-kangaroo
#maribat spooktober 2023#maribat october prompts#maribat#dc x mlb#mlb x dc#dc x miraculous#miraculous x dc#ml marinette#maribat jason todd#luka x mari x jason
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