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straykidsworldwild · 3 years

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Duskwood

Phil Hawkins x MC

Part 2 (2/2) : MC and Phil have lunch but it doesn't turn out as planned.

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Heyy guys!! Here's (2/2) of part2! 😁

(I just made the collage. Credits go to the creators of Duskwood and owners of the pics)

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- Why didn't he want you to have a break? He asks me gently, sounding confused.

- Because I arrived late by one minute this morning, I respond to his question. I look up at Phil as I hear him chuckling. He doesn't believe me...

- Right… he says before looking down at me. I give him a look, showing him that I am being serious. That's enough reason for my boss... Oh, you're being serious? He asks me with surprise. I nod positively as I notice the exasperation growing over his face. What are you waiting for to change your job? He then asks me as we are walking through a small path. Green grass is surrounding it accompanied by flowers. There are two benches every 50 meters. It's one of the most peaceful areas in Duskwood. That's where I usually go by when I need to clear my head. It’s just sad, in a way, that it is next to might work… Oh well...

- Trust me. I looked everywhere. But have you seen a lot of job offers around Duskwood lately? I haven't, I answer to the man as we approach a wooden bench. We take a seat on it while he puts down his bag.

- You could work with me at the Aurora, he proposes to me, using a suggestive tone mixed with a hopeful one.

- Mmmh... I'm not sure it'll be a good idea, I reply and smile playfully to his comment.

- Why not? He asks me, looking a little disappointed. He's actually being serious...

- Well, one, because the others would start to wonder why I am working at your bar, I say as I pull one finger out. Two, will you still manage to work? Won't I be distracting you? I question him playfully, pulling a second finger out while smirking. I know he takes it seriously and I do too, but it makes the atmosphere lighter this way. There's no need to fall on an argument because of that… and Phil is the last person I want to argue with.

- Well, I admit having the beautiful sight you'll be giving me constantly will clearly take my mind off work but, I'm sure I'll manage, he responds with his charming smile, which is contagious, as he enters my game. It's impossible to not smile when he does. I smile as I feel my cheeks lightly burning. It's awful how easy he makes me blush... Phil begins to open it before I hear him rummaging in a plastic bag. Oh… I didn't take anything to eat… I look away, getting nervous. I don't get why he makes me so nervous. It's… a weird feeling. It's a crazy feeling. Here, for you, I turn my head and look at what he is holding to me. Oh…! Cobb salad with a fork, something to drink, he pulls out a bottle of water and gives it to me. I take it. And I heard someone liked dark chocolate so I got some, he tells me, pulling a tablet of chocolate out of his bag. It's terrible… I can't control myself. I can't stop smiling, appreciating his attention.

- My favorite! How did you know? I ask him happily as stars must be filling my eyes. I mean, chocolate is just everything! Phil laughs amused and winks at me. You asked Jessy? I demand him with surprise, yet, kind of… scared of his answer. I don't know why I'm scared about Jessy finding out I accepted to have lunch with her brother. Is this a date in the end?

- No, why would I ask my sister? He asks me back, frowning confused.

- Because she knows me well. And I thought you would have told your sister about this lunch, I simply replied to Phil, telling him my thoughts on how he might have done things before coming here.

- Well, I didn't, he answers calmly, shaking lightly his head left to right. I nod understandingly, keeping a small smile. Did you? He then asks me. I look up at him and start shaking my head negatively. Though, before I could say a word, I was being interrupted.

- MC? Phil? I widen my eyes in surprise to Phil before I turn my head to look at the person. She approaches us, smiling and looking confused at the same time. How…? What are you two doing here? Asks us, Jessy, coming to stand before the both of us. She looks at me with her usual smile, waiting for an answer. Oh God… What am I supposed to tell her? Will she take the truth well? What will she think? I hold onto my fork nervously as I give her a shy smile.

- I saw MC having lunch here by herself while I was walking around so I stopped by to talk a bit, responds, Phil, getting me out of this awkward and nerve wracking situation.

- Mmmh... Shouldn't you be at the bar? She asks him back, looking suspicious. It's hard to hide things from Jessy. Especially since she knows us well… Too well...

- It's pretty empty at this time, Jessy. It's noon. Why do you think I'm eating too? He says and asks her back, sounding calm but also a little annoyed that she stays here and asks all of those questions. I mean… I love Jessy but I'm going to die of nervousness here. I hate keeping secrets from her… Especially when it involves her brother.

- Right, she tells him, not so satisfied by the answer. When does your break end, MC? She then asks me.

- I have to get back in, in like... 15 min or so, I respond to her, looking up at my best friend after checking the time on my phone.

- Let me guess, your boss is being the same dick as ever? She tells me, looking sorry for me. Jessy knows absolutely everything about what my boss said or did to me or my colleagues.

- Bull eyes, I reply, nodding positively. I see Jessy weakly shaking her head left to right, upset with my boss. Oh! Oh, Jessy, before I forgot, could you stop by my mother's for me, please? She wasn't well because of… You know, the loss of my uncle, and I think she needs to take her mind off a little bit, I demand her gently as I know mom considers Jessy like her second child. I'm sure she would be happy to see her. Though, it was hard for me to mention Uncle Alex. Harder than I thought.

- Oh right, I wanted to send you a message. I am so sorry about your uncle, MC. Alex was amazing, she apologizes sincerely to me, her eyes showing sadness. Jessy knees Uncle Alex as well. Duskwood is a small town and, well, Jessy was often at home so she knew him too.

- Thanks… I thank her with a small smile as I frown sadly. I tried...

- Well, I have to get back to work before Richy thinks I quit, she tells us playfully. I smile at her comment. It's true, I think Richy would be lost without her at work. Don't be a dick to her, Phil. I'll know each of your moves, anyway, she warns her brother as she begins to walk away.

- Right… he simply says, sounding annoyed. It was almost as if he didn't mumble to himself. I hear Jessy softly laughing before she finally leaves. I follow her with my eyes before meeting Phil's ones. So gorgeous... So I'm guessing you didn't tell her either, he says with a smirk.

- We all have our secrets, don't we? I reply to the boy before winking back.

- We do, he agrees. The two of us continue eating our lunch as time is passing by. I don't have much time and I won't be able to eat anything before tonight. It's going to be long until then… I look up as I hear a car honking. A little breeze hit my face and pushed back some of my hair. A lock came over my cheek so I gently pushed it away. The sun is so bright in the sky today. You look tired, MC, he suddenly tells me. I do…? I'm not surprised...

- I didn't sleep well. I didn't sleep much. I couldn't with... You know, I answer to Phil as my lock of hair comes over my face again. Though, I couldn't mention my uncle a second time. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

With his hand, he reaches the lock of hair and pushes it gently back behind my ear. Oh… Once again, our eyes meet. As always, there is this connection. They're so deep and… Gorgeous. I mean… How can you not get lost in them? For a moment, we stare at each other as if nothing was surrounding us anymore. I want to get closer to him. I want to know him a little more than I already do. You can't imagine how strong the feeling is… But all of this is so scary. I notice Phil's eyes falling on my lips a few times, desire seen behind them. He is as eager as last night. Without controlling it, I smile at the boy before breaking our look. And back to reality… How can a simple look be so intense? Biting lightly on my lower lip, I feel some heat on my face.

- You're so cute, MC, he tells me with a smile, his voice sounding so… Deep and lovely. I feel myself blushing a little more to the sound of his words.

- And you're a little Devil because you do see that you're making me nervous, I tell him with a chuckle as I push him playfully. Phil laughs along with me before he grabs my hand in his. Oh… My body tenses up due to the surprise and the nervousness he is giving me. But it soon relaxes under his comforting hold. I look down at our hands loving the feeling of being held. Not alone. His hand is so soft and warm. I slowly move my hand and intertwin my fingers with his. Phil lets me do and actually holds it back with a firm, but gentle tight. It's so comforting. I look back up at him and see that the man has been staring at me for a moment actually.

- I do. But blush looks good on you, he suddenly tells me, commenting my previous sentence. Oh come on… How did my heart not give up yet? The two of us smile at each other, sparks certainly illuminating my eyes. I don’t need to see my reflection to know it… This feeling of happiness is enough to say how I feel about him. It’s actually betraying me...

- Hey, Phil, I suddenly hear an unfamiliar voice which gets me out of my thoughts. What…? I retrieve my hand from Phil’s and look at where the voice came from. A blonde is approaching us. Oh… I’ve seen her at the Aurora before. She was “close” with Phil usually. Didn't expect to see you out of your bar, she tells him with a flirtatious look. Right...

- Hey, Lola, I have a life too outside the bar, he responds to the girl, sounding just as annoyed as when Jessy was here. Actually, he sounded more than annoyed. But I can’t describe this feeling...

- Yeah, apparently, she tells him as she looks at him up and down with hungry eyes. Oh please… I look away, staying quiet. What are you doing here anyway? She asks him, putting her hands in her back jean pockets, winding-up. Like it’s not already obvious what you’re trying to do...

- I'm with a good friend, answers, Phil, not revealing anything about this lunch. Right… It’s better this way. Reluctantly, I look up at the girl and give her a small smile. The girl looks at me up and down, clearly judging or being bothered by my presence.

- Right... She says before looking back at Phil and smiles at him. Maybe I should go… I feel like I'm being too much here right now. Can I see you, tonight? I need a little distraction and I'm sure you do too, she asks and tells him with that same flirtatious tone.

- No. I'd rather not, responds, Phil, not even taking time to think of the answer.

- Oh come on, tell me you don't need to relax a little bit. I'm sure the last few days must have been stressful. I could help you with that, she replies with the same annoying flirtatious tone while biting her lower lip and twerking some of her hair with her finger. And Phil liked that…?

- No, it was pretty calm, he tells her, shaking his head lightly. My absolutely not confident self kicks in again… Is he telling her "no" because he knows I want to hear this? Is he doing it because he really doesn't want anything with her? Or will he contact her right after I go back to work? Is it just a play from him? I look away upset and thoughtful. It was going so well...

- Fine, as you want. You know my number if you change your mind, she tells him, sounding disappointed at first but quickly uses that annoying voice and tone again. Even better… Of course he has her number… Well, he can do whatever he wants. We're nothing technically. Just friends. And I'm not jealous of this girl. I just don't like it… The girl leaves us, swaying her hips. Oh God… seriously? Watch where you're going instead...

- I'm sorry… apologizes to me, Phil. I look up at him, disappointed and… I guess, hurt. I'm not disappointed by him. I guess I just don't understand why I didn't see it coming...

- No, it's fine, I say standing up from the bench. I mean, you're mister popular-with-women and it's obvious we couldn't avoid this… I say with a serious tone, a point of jealousy in my voice. I think it's the first time I ever hear this emotion in my own voice. I mean… I'm not jealous… am I? Well… I guess I am...

- No, MC, I'm serious. I don't… He quickly tells me, interrupting me while standing up from the bench as well.

- MC! I suddenly hear someone calling my name. Really? We can't be alone for 30 seconds? I turn around and see Angie approaching rapidly. Oh… I know we're next to the restaurant but why is she here? She should be working... Sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to tell you that you have 2 minutes left before the boss comes to look for you. I'm kind of keeping him in my sight so he doesn't come yelling unnecessary at you again, she tells me seriously, having my back. Thank God for having her as my colleague! She actually saved me from two situations… My boss and Phil's...

- Thanks, Angie, I thank my friend. The girl nods before turning around and starting to run toward the restaurant. I face Phil again, watching the boy looking at me with a small frown. He looks… A little nervous? Disappointed? I have to go, Phil. Sorry, I tell him while shaking my head lightly. Thanks for lunch, I give him a quick and very small smile. I turn around, not waiting for his answer and start to walk toward my work place.

- Will you call me? He asks me, coming after me. I stop and turn around again. Once you're out of work, will you call me? I think we need to discuss what happened, he tells me with a surprisingly pleading tone. Hum… Please, MC, he pleads me all of a sudden. I stare at him a little moment, actually surprised by his tone… Of his emotions. I'm lost… I'm not sure what to believe anymore. Maybe the lunch wasn't right after all? Or was it? So much happened in half an hour...

- Maybe... See you, Phil, I reply with a small nod. Phil lightly nods back to me all while he looks down. He’s... Hurt? It’s actually weird to see this expression on his face...

Without another word, I turn around and walk back to the restaurant before my boss comes looking for me. I already don't know what's going to happen since Phil "argued" with him…

My afternoon passes slowly… Slower than this morning. And just like my boss said, I couldn’t leave work before 6pm… Anyway, I’ve done my day, that’s the most important thing. I mean… One of the most. I wanted to go to my mother’s to bring her the little surprise and to spend some time with her. I wanted to see her. It’s been hard lately for the both of us. I need my mom just as much as she probably needs me. When I reached her front door, I knocked on it, but nobody answered. I knocked again, but still, nobody answered. I took my phone out and only noticed then that my mother had contacted me. Why didn't I look at my phone first…?

- “Hey, baby. I’m going to go see Sarah around 5:30pm so I don’t think I’ll be home when you’ll come see me. I’m sorry, MC.” I read her first message. Oh, she’s not home... “Jessica came to see me this afternoon. You told her to come, didn’t you? Well, I’m glad you did, baby. It felt really nice to see a familiar face and to talk about everything and anything other than the situation we are living currently. Thanks, baby.” I read her second message which brought a soft smile on my face. She’s still sad, I can tell, but she seems to have also realized that life isn’t done for her. My uncle is gone, but not us. We still have to live. That’s what Uncle Alex would want us to do anyway… I know it. I crack a small smile again despite the sad frown. Tomorrow is going to be another long and emotional day… I let my little surprise for mom in front of her front door and walk back home. We live ten minutes from each other’s house. I don’t need my car…

Three hours have passed and I am sitting on the floor of my living-room. A piece of paper is set before me, I am holding a pencil and the TV is on. However, I am not watching it. I only have it on to have some noise in the background. The night has fallen and a small warm light is illuminating the living-room. I am preparing my speech for tomorrow. I’ve been trying to write it for… For a good hour and half now. I have so much to say… And yet, I can’t find a way to say them. It’s hard to find the right words. I try. I wrote a dozen drafts already but all of them sucked. It’s so hard to say how I feel. I don’t open up like this easily. And it’s hard to recount a memory when I know that… It just won’t ever happen again. Not with Uncle Alex at least… I had so many good family moments with him and mom. Vacances… Festivals… When I graduated… My birthdays and Christmases… So many good and memorable moments. I think what blocks me is that, no matter how I try to put it in words, there's just not this magic or this thing that made this moment amazing for me. I just want it to be perfect…

Suddenly, I hear my cell phone buzzing. I gasp as I get out of my thoughts. I wasn’t ready to hear it buzzing… I look at the I.D. caller before answering the call.

- Hey… I say to my best friend. I sounded tireder than I thought… What time is it anyway?

- What did you do or say to my brother? She asks me with a confused tone, actually interrupting me. Huh? What is she talking about?

- Wh... I... I'm sorry, I don't follow, I respond to Jessy with a confused tone. I put the pencil down and lean back to lay against the sofa. I look up at the ceiling, frowning confused. Why is she asking me what I’ve done to Phil? What does she mean by that?

- Phil. Did you say or do something to him? She asks me again, reformulating her question. She sounded just as confused as before. And not upset.

- Why would I have done something to Phil? I ask her back, not answering her question. I mean… Phil is certainly the last person I would hurt… I know I left him kind of on a disappointed note, but… I had to go back to work anyway.

- MC, he told me, she says with a slightly annoyed tone. Though, it wasn’t an annoyed tone to tell me I am bothering her, it was more in a way saying “I know, just spill it out”. He did…? What?

- About the lunch? I ask with an unsure tone. Yet, a point of sorry is heard in my voice as I know that I’ve hidden this from her. And I hate it to have hidden something like this from my best friend… We usually say everything to each other.

- About everything, she responds. Oh… Well, there’s no need for an explanation then… I guess... I've never seen Phil like this for a girl before. I almost didn’t believe him when he told me, she tells me, still sounding like she doesn’t believe what he… Did or said to her. He's really trying, you know? She suddenly tells me. Oh… Trying? I mean, it's true that he did put in some effort for lunch earlier today and he did reject the girl… Lola...

- I'm supposed to call him, I just… I admit to my best friend before pausing. I didn't forget to call Phil. I’m going to call him. I don't hold grudges and I don't dwell on a situation that didn't turn out the way I would have liked. I’m not like that. I just wanted to do the speech first... I am writing what I want to say to my uncle for his funeral tomorrow morning, I admit to Jessy as I stare blankly at the white paper in front of me.

- Oh, MC, I'm so sorry. I thought... You didn't reject Phil? She apologizes to me before a brief pause takes place. Then, she asks me a question, sounding confused. Reject? Now I am the one being confused.

- Reject? How can I reject your brother? He never asked anything, I ask her before stating a fact. I mean, shouldn't I be the one who thought I would get rejected?

- That idiot, I hear her mumbling with a disbelieving tone before sighing.

- I will call him. I just need to finish this first, I tell her my plan sincerely and seriously.

- He told me about Lola, too, she tells me. Oh God… Please, don't mention her. He told me what she said and the way she looked at you. He didn't like it. He hated that she looked at you as if you were a cockroach ready to be smashed and how she talked to him before you. He doesn't want you to think what's not true, she explains to me seriously. She's having her brother's back… It’s not surprising. That’s actually good that she’s having his back. But... How much did he tell her?

- And what's not true? I ask her. He's a womanizer. He's good looking. He owns a bar. He likes girls. That's his nature to run after them, I reply to Jessy, feeling so unsure about myself. Wait… Did I really just tell her that her brother is good looking…?

- MC... She calls me gently as I hear lightly sighing. He rejected her for you. He even deleted her number from his phone. Don't you see what this means? She admits and asks me. I look down with a light frown. He did this? I think it's the first time he actually comes to see me at work because he needs to talk, she says with seriousness, a point of disbelief heard in her voice. Work? Wasn't she with mom? She must have gone back to work after...

- “Comes”? As calling? I question her, unsure.

- “Comes” as walking inside Richy's garage, she corrects me. Oh… It's true that I've never seen Phil going to Richy's garage except for his car, maybe? I'm not even sure about that...

- Phil likes me like... A potential boyfriend would like his potential girlfriend? I mean... Not like he likes Lola? I demand her with a slight shy and confused tone. Yet, some hope in my voice. I hear Jessy softly giggling.

- Phil is Phil. He has his way to do things, which aren’t always the best, and his past. But I can tell you he isn't playing with you. I'd be the first one to yell at him for hurting you, she tells me seriously. She's the best! Wait… But I would never let her choose between Phil and I if things go wrong. I would rather want her to side with her brother than with me. Their siblings bond is much more important. Even though she means everything to me as my best friend. Anyway, there's still something off...

- Wait... You're not mad? I demand her with surprise. I mean, I was expecting her to kind of yell at me for not telling her the whole thing with Phil. Or to just yell at me for having lunch with her brother and maybe more… If it ever happens...

- Why would I be? She asks me back, confused and surprised by my question.

- You're my best friend and he's your brother. Isn't it weird to you? I remind her and ask her with a confused tone. I'm just really surprised...

- Well, I’m definitely caught between two stools but, if you two like each other I can't stop that, she replies sincerely which makes me smile. Why can't I control myself?! I keep smiling crazily when something involves Phil and I. I must be so obvious how I feel for him... I feel my cheeks slightly burning again. It's awful how I can blush so easily with that guy... He was right, it's cute how you blush when someone mentions you both, I hear Jessy saying with a playful tone. What…?

- How do you know I'm blushing? I ask her with a surprised tone as I widen my eyes.

- I didn't but now I do, she says as I hear her laughing. She tricked me… I laugh along with her, amused by how much she knows me. She doesn’t even need to see me anymore to know my facial expression. Anyway, I'm not going to get anything done right now… Maybe I should call Phil first and then get to my speech.

- Thanks, Jessy. I think I'm going to call Phil now, I tell her gently as I keep a small smile on my face.

- Okay. I'll go then. But don't tell him I called to tell you all of this, okay? She asks me with a giggle. Oh, she wasn’t supposed to tell me? The little Devil… I chuckle at her comment.

- Of course, I agree with her. Oh wait! I suddenly stopped her before she could hang up. Thanks again. For my mother this time. She told me that she was going to see her best friend. I'm sure your talk must have helped her realize that things are still going on and that it is just a hard moment to pass, I thank and say with sincerity to my best friend, holding the phone before my mouth as I put her on speaker.

- No problem, she replies with her usual cheerful tone. Oh, before I forget, I'll need your help tomorrow night, she tells me rapidly, sounding excited this time. Just in time… I was about to hang up… Let me guess...

- For your dress as the birthday girl? I demand her even though I already know the answer. I smirk.

- Exactly! She exclaims while giggling.

- Of course. Can you come to my place though? Tomorrow is another long day for me and… I ask with an unsure tone before trying to give her an explanation.

- No need to explain. I'll be here at 7:30p.m., is that alright for you? She responds and asks me.

- Perfect! Thanks Jessy. For everything, I thank my best friend truthfully. I hear her giggling cheerfully as usual before we say our goodbye and hang up.

My head is just so full of thoughts right now… With being concerned for my mother even though she is dealing with the loss of her brother at her pace, dealing with the loss of my uncle at my own pace as well, thinking about Phil, thinking about my stressful job, or more about how much money my boss owes me for cutting my pay so many times, thinking about all the work I have to get done for college… There’s just so much at once. I feel like I haven’t been resting for weeks… Why is it so complicated? Everything seems simple when I’m with Phil though… His calm behavior is just so relaxing and just his presence in general makes you feel comfortable and safe and… Good. Jessy is right, I should call him. What else do I have to do anyway? And let’s not lie to myself, I’m dying to call him to hear the sound of his voice...

#multifandom #duskwood app #duskwood phil #duskwood game #duskwood mc #duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood jessy #phil duskwood #phil x mc #phil hawkins #iamjake

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nebulousfishgills · 3 years

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My thoughts on the finale (long post)

Okay, I really just wanna put some thoughts down and I need to do it here. Spoilers and opinions, you can choose to agree or not, but please be respectful

I usually try to have a good attitude about things, pointing out the best in everything.

I'm having a really hard time right now.

That's not to say the episode was bad, it's just...

Well, I feel like I'm watching the Game of Thrones finale again. I just feel so unfulfilled. Then again, my hormones are a little out of wack at the moment (thanks mother nature) so my odd feelings could be because of that. I feel so angry and upset and hyped and... I don't honestly know. I really don't. I feel like I want to throw up, but not in a bad or good way.

I guess I just...

Feel.

I've stayed up every night for every episode because I just adored it so much. Yet I feel like... there should be more. I know we got a second season confirmed, but we don't know when. We don't know what it means for the future of the MCU. We don't know anything.

I guess we should have expected this because Loki was supposed to be this new horizon for the MCU. Doctor Strange 2 needed a plot. Someone said this show was just a big ad for MoM, and I find myself disagreeing with that, but only a little.

I think the best way to describe it is it's like the show suddenly decided it wanted to be something else. It's not a bad thing necessarily, but after episode 3, the tone really shifted.

I'm trying really hard to hold off on my more detailed thoughts, but they just keep creeping in, so I'll just wrap up this... intro? Idk.

I think the TLDR is that I feel disappointed, but I don't really blame anyone. Kate Herron, Mike Waldron, they all did AMAZING jobs. They really deserve the highest of praise for this. Is it my favorite MCU project? Yes. Am I excited for season 2? Absolutely.

But Game of Thrones can still be my favorite show and I can still dislike the ending.

I find writing this out is helping me feel better. Once I sleep it'll probably feel less... hopeless.

Now, next section. My thoughts on key plot points.

We all figured Kang would be introduced. I'm actually very excited to see what they do with him. The actor was just phenomenal and I can't wait to see him later on. Someone call up Erik Voss because he redeemed himself after the whole Mephisto deal

I guess the Multiverse was reborn, but not in the way I was expecting/hoping. I feel like there's a large gap between when the timeline shattered and the final scene with Loki, Mobius, and B-15. What happened? Though, I guess it makes sense. We all wanted a multiverse. We never considered the consequences.

I'm angriest about Mobius losing his memories and not getting his jetski. Like I said, Yelena can get a dog in BW after mentioning it once. But as someone on Reddit pointed out, they had to make sure Marvel would greenlight a second season. It does not mean I can't have a huge cow about it. That's what we get for jinxing it, friends.

I think I understand what Star Wars Sequel haters went through. Getting all these grand (maybe... glorious?) ideas about the ending and what a hopeful message about destiny and identity the series could give us. And the series gave us... none of that. Hell, I was so sure these would be used, and I was bamboozled. I'm sure others saw it coming, but they just looked too good to be fake out shots. My best guess is that they're gonna use this footage in season 2 for a plotline and they stuck it in here to trick us... but maybe that's just me being desperate

It was barely 1 AM here, Marvel. The Miss Minutes jumpscare was NOT COOL. I mean, THIS IS HORRIFYING IN LIGHT AS WELL

I'm really confused about Ravonna now. Is she good or is she bad? Where did she go? And why was it important we see her backstory and not any of the others (say, B-15 or Mobius)?

God, okay, I guess I have to address the elephant in the room now.

The Sylki kiss and then betrayal fight thing.

Let me get one thing very extremely clear before I continue: I do prefer Lokius, but I am FINE with Sylki. I think I've just been desensitized to any ship that ends with -cest because, as I've made clear here and in the past, I adore Game of Thrones and Crimson Peak.

I honestly think my main reservation about it is a flaw within myself that I dared not admit until I saw it staring me in the face: I'm probably a little possessive. I can admit this and I really dislike it about myself. But I think I'm just not a fan of Loki having a love interest in general. What makes Lokius different, I have no clue. Maybe deep down I knew Marvel was too much of a pussy to ever make it canon... then again, I was begging for a last minute kiss or something. My feelings on the matter are complicated.

But the way they handled the kiss in this episode? Gotta say, not too much of a fan. I know some antis like this, but it just felt too... not genuine. Maybe I'm just an idiot who thinks all kissing should have a meaning. A purpose. The Reylo kiss in Rise of Skywalker? Ben just saved Rey's fucking life, I think that warrants a large gesture of affection.

But this?

I think I get bad juju from the kiss, not the fact that they made it Canon. You can disagree or agree any way you want, you can even send nasty anon messages. That's my opinion and I'm choosing to stick to it.

And sending nasty anons won't do squat, I don't give a shit about faceless threats and hate.

Anyways, back to my point

The fight felt like a mutual betrayal, but at the same time it felt like neither really wanted to go through with it. I admit I felt Sylvie was more in the right and that Loki seemed a little too complacent, especially after everything he went through and saw. But like Sylvie, I didn't consider the consequences and now everything is fucked. But I still don't think Loki was right.

I think it boils down to being an impossible choice because no matter what you pick, everyone loses.

I believe that my main gripe with Sylvie and Loki's ideology split is that it feels a little too rushed and/or, dare I say it, out of character. I've agreed with Loki's characterization up until this point (again, you can disagree with me, that's your opinion and you have full right to it), but... man, I don't know. It all feels like an impossible situation.

Then again, I'm not the one in the director's chair. I'm not the team in the writers room. I don't know the first thing about making a project like this. I like taking solace in the fact that Tom had some creative control in the series about the character he loves so much. And, let's be real, he knows Loki the best out of all of us. None of us can hold a candle to that.

We can call ourselves experts, but Tom is the real expert. I trust him more than anyone. If he hated how this was turning out, he probably would have said something.

We just have to trust in the creative process

So, at the end of the day, this series was (and still is, remember, season 2 is on the way) absolutely phenomenal and I think it's Marvel's strongest work in a very long time. They know Loki is a character we all love and adore and I feel like they've done their best in honoring that. Besides, what other character is getting a second season? How awesome is that??

I found writing this out helped me process my thoughts and emotions IMMENSELY. I don't feel as... angry? Hopeless? I don't know. I keep comparing this to the end of Game of Thrones, and I feel like that's doing a disservice to Loki. Game of Thrones' ending was just absolute dog shit and there was no chance to redeem it because it was the last season.

Loki has a second season on the way.

It's not over yet.

Nothing is ever final until the universe forces it.

Kang can be stopped

The Multiverse can roam free

Loki can learn to find true happiness

Sylvie can stop running and fighting

Ravonna can redeem herself

The TVA can burn or reform (whichever you choose)

And yes

Mobius can get a jetski

We know nothing yet of season 2, what it will entail, how it connects to the rest of the Marvel Universe, or even when it will be out. But I know that I will eagerly await it when that day comes. I will once again put on a smile. I will wait hours to watch the new episode the moment it drops. I will be excited for it and enjoy it.

Because, at the end of the day, that's all it's about. Telling a story. And, mother of God, Marvel sure is telling a good one.

Until next time, my friends.

For All Time. Always!

-FishGills

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wsgeon · 3 years

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hey everyone! ummm this is peyton (also the mun of lee hyeon) taking a second shot at a second character — i have a lot of muse for this one, so i swear he’ll be around for a while… 🥵 this is ryu geon, yes his name rhymes with hyeon’s & no i do not care ♥️ he’s the lead guitarist/vocalist of meta and also the son of a former nobody rockstar, but i’ll get into all that below! like this post if you’d like for me to come into your ims to plot, click the read more for more info on geon, and/or click here to be taken to his pages: CAREER, DOSSIER, PINTEREST.

HISTORY.

born in autumn ‘97 to a “budding rockstar” (translation: “no yeah i swear our band’s really starting to take off, we sold twenty-three tickets to our last show!”) & a woman with commitment issues ♥️ geon’s dad always told him that his mom left because she had some dire matters that needed to be taken care of and SWORE that she cried the last time she held her dear baby boy, but all of his dad’s bandmates say that she was just some groupie and had to be persuaded into carrying her child to term… who can say for sure?

naturally, there are no pictures of this mystery woman. there was one (1) of her holding infant geon, but then he found out that that was actually a sound tech who worked for his dad’s band… and he just never corrected geon’s assumptions LOLLLL

anyway! he was always really close to his dad, considering they were a two-person family. he has a set of grandparents, an aunt and a couple cousins but they were never involved with geon’s life because his dad is the #blacksheep of the family. geon and his dad against the world, am i right?

uhhh geon was also kind of a black sheep growing up, but he didn’t really notice? he was a happy kid, very energetic and enthusiastic. a lot of adults in the area looked down on him & his dad, but he was SOOOO blind to it because his dad’s a god in his eyes and HE’S always been nice to everyone, so why would they not like him??? because his clothes smelled a little like dad’s cigarette smoke??? big deal

wasn’t troublesome (beyond talking too much), but a lot of people still expected bad things from him :/ “his father’s a dirtbag, i’ll be surprised if that boy doesn’t end up in jail by 20”, “he won’t amount to anything without a proper role model in his life”, “his dad is teaching him how to slack off”, “he won’t contribute anything to society”, etc. he kindaaa picked up on this as he got older but pretended not to because it was more rewarding to play dumb and keep being a good kid(tm) to prove them wrong

was basically a mini version of his dad. same style, similar features, birthmarks in the same places, same “live today, die tomorrow” approach in life, same affinity for singing & playing rock music. ummm he loved his dad a lot. a lot. a lot. wanted to make him proud SO BAD, started his first band when he was 15 and they sucked so bad but his dad was their biggest fan… you know how it is. a lot of people misunderstood him, but he was a very good guy and such a great parent

TW DEATH unfortunately he passed away just shy of geon’s 18th birthday and your boy still hasn’t forgiven the world for taking his dad when he was in the middle of his angsty teen phase — had he known that their time together was dwindling, he would’ve been so so so much better to him END TW

his dad’s band actually rocketed into the charts after he passed & suddenly they were getting loads of publicity, lots of “what a shame that he went under-appreciated” which pissed geon off SOOOO bad because why couldn’t they have had that energy when he was still alive? he’s still mad about it five/six years later

this is getting kinda long, so uhhh tl;dr, he ended up staying with the drummer of his dad’s band until he was old enough to live alone/READY to live alone, but he changed quite a bit. was really going through it, quit his band, stopped putting effort into school. barely graduated. went from being a social butterfly spending every weekend at a gig or with friends to spending all of his time on a pc or in front of a tv, playing console games. the internet comforted him when nobody else would/could and then he met the future members of meta <33333333 #newbeginnings

present day geon is still struggling, has to go to counseling bi-weekly but he’s coming back out of his shell! he wants to fall in love with life again, just wants to tread carefully... outgoing & will talk to absolutely anyone, but he still spends most of his time alone. hard to reach by text, so if you wanna talk to him, you better call/facetime LMAO. talks a mile a minute, especially if you get him going abt something he really likes. laughs a lot, smiles a lot, more habitual than actual signs of happiness but yk. ummm he has a really loud voice, mostly controlled nowadays but he still gets carried away sometimes. an absolute menace during long drives/flights, sorry meta.

funny but only when he’s in large groups. feeds off of other peoples’ energy, really good at reading a room and breaking the ice/making everyone comfortable, but if you meet him 1-on-1, none of his jokes land quite the same.

i envision him as being the kind of guy who carries himself in such a way that you’d assume he’s really popular/out of reach/maybe even full of himself, but he’s... not like that... at all... in fact, he’s kinda irritating when you get to know him. the personification of a flood followed by a drought and vice versa, always either too much or not enough. gets used/ghosted/dropped/dumped/whatever a lot because he’s soooo fun in the moment (if he isn’t in his feelings), but draining long-term.

really emotionally intelligent, in touch with his feelings in a way that a lot of people never thought he would be (probably thanks to counseling tbh). he’s very very rarely the type of person who will make you wonder what your place in his life is — he’s communicative, kind, honest. ummm he thinks that intimacy between friends needs to be more common, so he’s really affectionate with the people in his life. type of guy to tell you he loves you every chance he gets (calling you when he’s drunk, sounding like a clingy ex type beat) & greet you/depart with a hug. losing his dad kinda fucked him up in the way that he won’t leave/hang up until his friends say “i love you” back, gets kinda (re: very) upset if he’s denied that and/or a hug.

TRIVIA.

has been playing the guitar “longer than he’s been walking” (not really, but he swears it’s true).

uhhh he really likes nail art, but he’s kinda hesitant in what he tries? mainly sticks to black polish (or other plain colors), but sometimes he’ll get little designs added in as well. mainly does it himself because he still doesn’t feel comfortable in salons... if his work looks bad, leave him alone <3 he’s trying

inspired by people like kurt cobain, nicky wire, yungblud, billie joe armstrong & damiano david in the fact that he’s not against wearing dresses or skirts on stage. doesn’t do it ALL the time, but often enough that it doesn’t go unnoticed. some people say that he does it for attention because he doesn’t dress like that elsewhere and tbh they’re probably kinda right

interested in history (only SOME... dinosaurs, ancient civilizations, specialized areas like the history of circuses/clowns/skateboarding/punk, stuff like that yk), stand-up comedy & documentaries. could spend a whole day watching documentaries and would say he had fun, has a lot of useless knowledge that nobody gives a fuck about and is kinda dumb when it comes to things that matter

when it comes to music, he prefers playing really fast and heavy rock or punk over anything else, but he actually listens to a lot more soft indie on his own time... he’s too tense these days to be listening to anything else RIPPP

the vibe: homemade tie-dye, ripped slipknot t-shirts, frosted tips, neon crocs with alien & peace-sign charms, chipped black nail polish, calloused hands, cheesy pick-up lines used NOT to land a date but to pull a smile, driving until he’s lost, stupid socks paired with pressed suits, dramatic poetry in an iphone note, etc.

PLOT IDEAS.

people he met through online support groups about coping with grief

uhhh an on & off relationship that’s been going for who-knows-how-long. the reason for this is up for discussion, but i imagine that he hasn’t given up yet because the constant highs and lows are a good source of inspo 🤪 artists must suffer for their art!

opposite side of the coin — someone he’s interested in, but he’s NOT disloyal so it’s a pattern of persistent courting when he’s single vs intense friend-zoning when he’s not and they’re getting tired of trying to figure out what he wants from them

someone else who likes nail art & can convince him that NOBODY cares if he goes to a salon

someone (probably female but doesn’t really matter tbh) who feels like his feminism is entirely performative… maybe they attack him directly for it or maybe they just REALLY don’t like him and they’re super vague about it idk. either way, please tell him that activism is much more than recommending one female artist a year and saying “clothes have no gender 🤪” so he can be praised for the bare minimum (his heart is in the right place but his skull is empty)

someone super introverted who comes out of their shell with geon! uhhh maybe they think that he’s the one doing them a favor, but in reality spending time with them has been doing wonders for his mental health

other people who like to skate. let’s congregate at the local skatepark and scare the middle schoolers away

someone who inspires him musically, for whatever reason. lots of late nights in studios, idly strumming his guitar and writing lyrics that definitely aren’t about how their eyes look in these dim lights… umm maybe he thinks he has a crush on them but really doesn’t and ends up hurting them eventually, maybe he really DOES have a crush but will (probably) never do anything abt it or maybe it’s entirely platonic and he just admires them a ridiculous amount

someone who likes to make music as a hobby, prob won’t publish/release any of it but it’s fun to imagine. spontaneous meetings with geon in the middle of the night, recording songs together and keeping the WORST takes for the laughs. there’s probably a diss-track of them going in on each other floating around somewhere even though geon can’t rap for shit

night owls who keep him company on the phone, even if they can’t be there physically. them talking really quietly vs geon shouting at them while he plays games LMAO

gaming buddies. come over, maybe you can carry geon through his game of the week or you can both fail but have fun while you’re at it… or you can scream while he fends off that hoard of zombies behind you

i’m typing this at the last minute (literally) so i’m gonna stop here, but i will get a proper plots page put up asap with a wider variety of connections!!! but as always, please do let me know if you have any other ideas. i’m always happy to plot and write with you all 🌚

#ws:intro #frankly my characters end up a lil different from intended 90% of the time soooo take my description of his personality w a grain of salt #this intro is long and illiterate but i'll fix it at a later time

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amarienne · 4 years

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It’s been two days. My blood still boils when I think of all the lost potential. (ramblings regarding how out of character the finale was)

Never before has an episode of any show, or a chapter of any book, or a scene of any movie has made me so upset. There is rage inside of me and the question of ‘how can a writer betray his own characters like this’.

(huge post following.)

I was not a hardcore destiel shipper. When I first started watching SPN a few years ago I knew of the ship but I thought that there was no chance in Hell a show like this would make it canon. And if we had never gotten 15x18 and some parts of 15x20 maybe I would be a tiny bit happier with how the finale went.

But the biggest mistake they did was give us the confession scene and not only that but echo it in Dean's actions in 15x19.

'That's not who I am'

This line keeps coming back to me because literally two episodes ago we saw Dean willing to sacrifice himself, Jack and even Sam so Chuck would disappear. He was red with rage and he didn't care for anything else apart winning. Let's not forget the thing that made him stop for a minute was Cas questioning Sam on why they should not go ahead with the plan. [Oh, there are plenty to be said for the only angel in all the universes that didn't just 'follow orders' after 'gripping him tight and raising him from perdition' but I won't go into that here.]

And sure, all that was Chuck's writing, but wasn't everything?

So what I am trying to say is that in three consecutive episodes we see:

-Dean full of anger and rage and ready to do anything to win -Dean giving up, losing hope after being cornered -Dean and TFW (minus Cas) finally overpower Chuck and walk away peacefully

So what changed? What made Dean walk away redifining himself as something different than the 'ultimate killer'?

Castiel. Of course, Castiel. The confession was so precious not only because Cas professed his love for Dean. No. It was vital to the plot of the next episode. And that was because before Cas utterred 'I love you' he spoke of how he sees Dean. How the way he sees himself is not the way Cas and the rest of the world sees him. How everything he has ever done, good and bad, was for love. Only for love. Not winning, not gaining power or wealth or recognition. But for love. At that moment Dean sees himself as Cas sees him, and it leaves him struck, speechless. Dean, who always had a snarky line ready is in awe trying to understand the words he is hearing.

And then, after everything is done and dusted we see Dean say 'That's not who I am' mirroring Cas' final words. The words he spent I don't know how much time sitting on the floor against the wall thinking about and crying. Noone else had gotten across to Dean like that, not even Sam. And we see that he started adopting Cas' image of him, believing it to be true. Or starting to.

Dean Winchester overpowered the ultimate villain and chose to stay true to Cas' image of him instead of taking revenge for Chuck screwing him over all his life.

This is poetic and heartbreaking, especially knowing Cas is gone. Not having Dean talk about the confession in 15x19 makes sense. We see glimpses of him numb at the loss, mourning Cas, wanting him back. We see the hope in his face when he thinks he is back. All these things make sense for 15x19, and even though we were sad we had to wait for the next episode hoping to see something tangible (aka the week we all clowned) I was content. The battle was done, the main plot was wrapped up. All was left was to see where all this last minute huge (especially for Dean) character progression and self acceptance would end up.

And then fucking 15x20 happens. It is like the writers threw in a cardboard box all the above points and details and threw it in the ocean. Nothing, absolutely nothing after the first 5 minutes makes sense in this fucking episode!

The montage at the beginning filled me with warmth and happiness. Dean (and Sam) are having a normal morning. Dean looks happy, he is eating, not depicted as overly drinking and most of all he has Miracle. He is focusing his love and affection on another living being. Sweet and warm. He plans to spend the afternoon eating pie with his brother. Goofy and light. The man deserves it for a bit.

But then we get the mention of Cas from Sam and we see how Dean reacts. How can Dean, who was sobbing on the floor and was demanding Cas to be brought back basically an episode ago keep an emotionless face and brush it off. We get the line 'If we don't keep living all that sacrifice was for nothing'. So we are meant to believe that right now Dean is not particularly bothered with Cas' death because it was a sacrifice to save the world. At this point a dread is starting to fill me.

Um, if it was the first time Cas was dying I would understand this. We have seen Dean broken over Cas' death before multiple times under more peaceful circumstances. Dean wouldn't leave Purgatory without Cas and you are trying to convince me after gaining true free will and finally writing his own story Dean would not break every cosmic rule to bring Cas back? Even if he did not reciprocate romantic feelings? This is the textbook definition of out of character in my eyes. Screw the romantic aspect because we ship it. Strip all the glances, touches and sexy lines we enjoy to gif and think back to feed the good ship Destiel, forget about it.

Keep the core of their relationship- the '3rd Winchester brother' who has stuck through thin and thick with them for the past 12 years. You mean to tell me Dean would be happy leaving Cas in the Empty and continue living his life? How is that possible? How is that Dean? How is it possible that we would not see Dean at least trying?

And then 20 minutes later comes the complete opposite of the line Dean wants to stick by. 'If we don't keep living all that sacrifice was for nothing'

But Dean does not keep living, does he? He doesn't grow happy or old. He doesn't start a family or open a bar or learn to dance. He doesn't honour Cas' sacrifice. He dies in the most unimaginitive way. And it is cruel. So cruel.

Dean went from having the strong belief that he would die young on a hunt fighting a monster, saving someone, machete and gun in his hand to starting to accept there is more to him than killing things.

And this fucking episode did a full backtrack and what did it give us?

Dean dying young on a hunt fighting a monster, saving two kids, machete and gun in his hand.

We got Dean dying in a way that gave us a 10 minute speech on how much he loves Sam. We got Dean dying in pain, scared and terrified. We got Dean getting a hunter's funeral with only Sam attending. We saw at Mary's funeral how a hunter's goodbye should look like. Room full of friends, mementos and alcohol. And Dean doesn't get any of that to honour his life.

How can he deserve that? How is it possible?

Even with Heaven 2.0 now being this trully idyllic place how can this be what Dean deserves?

And Sam... Sam gets to grow old in pain and regret. One foot on Earth with his family, one foot ready to follow Dean. Did anyone think Sam looked happy in that montage? Leaving the only home he shared with Dean? Presumably giving up his hunter friends, not even playing a 'Bobby' kind of role? Keeping the Impala in a dusty garage?

Jack... Jack who said he would be hands off, but how am I supposed to believe this would include his family? And even if he didn't heal/save Dean you mean to tell me he wouldn't be there for Sam? I am thinking of Jack appearing after Dean dies, supporting Sam's weight as he collapses, explaining why he can't bring him back. Standing next to Sam as Dean's body is burning.

And Cas... Cas who finally told Dean his truth and then sacrificed himself, content. Cas was saved from the Empty. No longer in eternal sleep sufferring. Working with Jack to rebuild Heaven. And... what? Cas who made Earth his true home, who was talking through tears how he loved the whole world through loving Dean, chose to stay in Heaven? Not stepping in Earth? Not getting in contact with the brothers? Waiting for them to die to talk to them again? And even when Dean dies he is not there to welcome him along with Jack? How is that possible?

We had gotten to know these characters so well over the past 15 seasons. How can the writers give us such a finale, so OOC for all three of them?

How can we not get a scene with Dean and Cas after the last two episodes?

Why have the confession, why have this be Cas' true moment of happines?

Why have the prayer in Purgatory a few episodes back?

Why have Dean break down in a way he has never broken down before?

What is the point of all this if there will be no climax? Even if it is the tiniest nudge, a couple words and a hug.

It makes absolutely no fucking sense. Up until now it felt like all roads, all plot points were converging to one- happiness, peace, love and family.

But no. We got a finale that would make sense 15 years ago. 15 seasons worth of character development and relationship building (not just Destiel, but Sam + Eileen, Jody, Donna and the girls, Charlie and so many others) and we got a finale that basically had Dean die so Sam could have a family.

As others have said here in tumblr Dean and Sam's lives on Earth would end up being exactly the same they ended up being if Dean did not go to get Sam that night.

How can a writer choose this fate for their characters? Why explore everything we watched on our screens, if on the last episode you decide to press delete on 15 seasons and basically deliver episode 1 if something had gone wrong and Dean died?

It makes no sense! It makes no sense regressing your characters 15 years and taking out of them all the experiences, especially those of the past few episodes.

You strip them into their season 1 selves. You strip them from all the layers of friendships, relationships, pain, experience and wisdom they went through and you strip them down to just two broken brothers, sticking together hunting things and saving people til the end. Which yes, they were.

But that was not all they were. Supernatural was a show about the family you make, not the family you get dealt with. Sam and Dean MADE the choice of sticking together. Yes they were brothers, but we know how easy it would have been to lead very different lives which would resulted in never seeing each other. They chose to stick together and they chose to build a family based on love, not blood.

And we got nothing of that legacy.

Is is unfair and it betrays not us, the fans, but the characters.

And that's what's hurting most.

#i am sorry for the long rant #supernatural #spn #dean #sam #castiel #destiel #15x20 #15x19 #15x18 #supernatural finale #carry on #mine

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nicknellie · 3 years

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By the time I finish/send this it’s going to be at the most random time so I say good night and technically good morning for whenever you read this!

I’m glad that you were able to finish your schoolwork, if it’s any consolation you still did hand them in, which is amazing! Also shame on them, they should’ve explained how all of this was going to work.

Same here! It’s so fun replying to these

Let’s do this

(Also if I were to make a tally of how many times I used exactly and agreed I would be in the hundreds by now 😂)

1. You are so brilliant, yes. Reggie just uses random stuff to hold his things especially considering that he has like 1000 scrapbooks so all the other stuff needs to go somewhere. (He also has used Luke’s and Bobby’s)

2. I didn’t think that Reggie actually has pictures of random baby, oh my goodness that is hilarious.

3. Exactly, and the reason why he doesn’t recognize the French dip is because he has no clue where it came from but it does belong to him

The non-box stuff

First two very random comments that totally did not come from me accidentally hitting some board games and seeing jam which led to inspiration for this

First point, Sunset Curve and then later Julie and the phantoms most definitely had board games. In this scenario I’m going to use Spin Master Hedbanz because, I have no clue when this game came out so I’m just gonna say it’s a game that the Molina’s play.

(Hedbanz is the fast-paced, easy to play question game of “What am I?” Ask “yes” or “no” questions, I think Amazon can be thanked for that description)

Anyways, so they play this and after not guess Luke flips a table. that’s this entire point that Luke is the one during game nights to flip tables (never play Monopoly with him)

The second point, the jams. First Reggie hates strawberry jam, loves raspberry jam and is indifferent to marmalade (I mention the last one although it’s not really a jam) however Alex loves marmalade and grape. Luke has no taste, but sometimes likes jelly, and Bobby like marmalade as well (honestly idk)

Now numbers,

2. Wait yes, I don’t know how else to describe it aside from that. (All of them feel guilty, and massive group hug and movie night after)

3. Luke as a frustrated puppy is his facial expression when Reggie accidentally scares Victoria and Luke sits down on the couch. Also yes, that is exactly the conversation they have (Yes Willie can also get through to him). Also it does work when Juli tries it however maybe not as much as when Alex and Willie talk to him.

4. Yes, basically Luke and Alex are two halves of a whole and can read each other very well.

5. Oh yea, Alex is always very sarcastic with the boys and is a tiny bit hesitant in front of Julie however after that interaction he acts more like how he normally is.

6. Yes and there’s no in-between (although it could be that he stayed there for a few days and hasn’t been back since). Aww, that’s so sad and exact what happens, however he doesn’t have someone who gives him a flower, unlike Julie, so he just sits there crying.

8. Yes! I like that theory as well, also for some reason Luke was always very good at solving Rubiks cubes however Bobby never was.

10. So I randomly saw this meme one day and you mentioning the spinning tea cups reminds me of it (I have no clue who made this sadly)

(Just change Luke to be sitting with Julie then) Also yes Luke doesn’t like things that spin, honestly I love the fact that I went off on a board game tangent and you went off on a theme park tangent.

Yes, every single ride Alex goes on, also yes for bobby. I love the little addition you made that they save it for the end of the day, adding on there’s like one ride that Bobby won’t go on (maybe the tea cups) and he always rides the logflume ride during that time)

Oh yes, anytime they go to a waterpark or go on a roller coaster or basically anything Reggie will take a picture of it, (also there’s quite a few of the boys going on roller coasters that Reggie doesn’t want to ride)

Luke goes on a ghost train once and regrets everything, he spends the entire ride with his head buried in Alex‘s hoodie. Yes, also Bobby has to make sure that Alex doesn’t accidentally bump in to random strangers.

Toffee nut- for a second I thought you said that Reggie didn’t know one of his friends was allergic to gluten and I was like this fits Bobby so much but I misread that severely. But that’s exactly what happens, also Julie brings it up once, just in general, and that’s where Alex has to be like ‘Reggie we are already dead’

11. The game to see if Reggie is lying or not, love that. (Honestly I wanted him to have actually met Queen Elizabeth very randomly however your theory fits so well)

13. Yes, they all just randomly dance around the studio. I mean the band in full cowboy outfit should be very high up on your list of things to expect for season two.

14. That’s exactly why I said that, because Nick shouldn’t be able to see the boys however since he’s actually Caleb during that moment he can. So he has to pretend like he isn’t furious, he kind of fails but somehow is able to pass it off.

They can’t deny good music, love this line and yes they most definitely can’t.

15. I’m glad that you like the little Han-solo idea

16. Yes, yes, we all know that Alex still lets them in the kitchen because he can’t say no to the puppy dog eyes however during that moment he tries his best to keep them out

17. Alex was most definitely the cutest baby also that is precisely what the photo looks like. (As you mentioned earlier I believe whenever Reggie was upset at Luke he would give Julie baby pictures of Luke. So of course Reggie does the same to Alex and shows Willie pictures of him as a baby. And Willie has heart eyes for the rest of the day from that photo

19. They definitely jump in puddles also the amount of times Luke has done that to Alex for no reason at all is a lot (also this is adorable)

20. Yes, I think everyone fell in love with Alex after the first episode as they should. ‘I have been crying for 25 years. How is that possible?!?!’

Yes Reggie and Willie definitely only talk in puns to each other and Alex is not happy (lies but for now they will let Alex be)

Also this makes me think that if flynn had known that Luke existed when she was going to egg Julie’s house, he definitely would’ve helped. Also yes, Emily buys those eggs right then and there, alongside toilet paper because.

21. That’s exactly what I thought but now seeing it in writing makes me upset. Him having a key symbolizes that he now found his home, and when Luke ran away Alex was so torn because obviously he supported his best friend more than anything however at the same time he just didn’t know what to do. (I don’t think I’ve seen this list but I am very intrigued, should we petition the show to let you write Mitch‘s character for season two) Yes, Alex and Luke are such brothers and we can blame Mitch.

24. The first time I saw the song I just thought that she sang in it as background vocals or something and then I was massively disappointed. Wait wait, what if in season two we get a song from Flynn that basically answers flying solo and shows how much Julie means to Flynn. I am in the same exact boat flynn is in a music program so at the very least we have to see her doing something they can’t just waste that talent like that. So I know this YouTube creator by one video and one video alone which is I’m going to kill Santa Claus, but yes I added it to my watch later (also you did get the title right, caps and everything)

25. Yes, he wanted to be strong for her which is why he initially went. (Third chance at getting a family 🥺🥺 awww)

Yes they exactly would’ve been uncle Reggie, uncle Luke, and uncle Alex, she definitely would’ve been nicer just due to the fact that the boys never would’ve let her get away with it.

26. I mean even when the boys forgive him, he still doesn’t forgive himself. Also yes, and the first thing he does is remake the hat for Alex because for some reason Alex hasn’t been able to find the hat (and or one for Willie because he wears beanies as well) Just imagine happy Bobby reunited with his bandmates (family) though aww.

28. Yes, also Reggie is like a cat when it comes to yarn so after he initially got tangled of course he got himself even more tangled until he just became a ball of yarn. (I love that title, also there is two parts because Reggie made a similar one again due to the fact that this happened twice)

30. Yes, Willie does have an old soul and him and Alex connect very well with Vitoria

32. Yes, best fan base ever. Legitimately they will get stopped on the street and if someone finds out that their sunset Curve they immediately get some sort of fanart or sticker (also a hug because Luke will give free hugs to everyone)

Yes, honestly I was thinking that Alex could be a cat as well however you’re entirely correct it’s Bobby who is the cat. I’m a bit stumped on what Alex would be, hear me out he would be a hedgehog just because that would be absolutely adorable. (Also I love the owl idea that’s brilliant)

Wait, not only does Alex get that but a fan handmade a puzzle of the band and it’s one of Alex‘s most treasured items from a fan.

34. The boys laugh for so long but the eventually help him out of the fridge, not before Reggie takes a picture though

35. Wait yes, Ray helps them out with the photoshoot. At first he thought that Flynn was asking him to take the pictures and he was completely prepared but then he quickly realizes that she kind of just wanted him to be there too not only help out but because he’s the greatest.

37. They take all of his hoodie expect the pink one, however they do wear it just give it back.

39. He says it immediately, honestly doesn’t even register that he says it until about five minutes later

40. It’s actually a mixture of both, also because Alex wears Luke’s shirts while they are practicing. Even if the practice doesn’t turn out the best they always have a great time just because they love spending time with each other and that makes everything better.

So you mentioning Willie wanting to learn lifts and stuff, and it made me think of the fact that Kenny Ortega has done dirty dancing which means they should have a scene like this

https://youtube/DIKpUa0O7Ns (if the link doesn’t load basically its the dirty dancing - time of my life final dance)

So now I need this in season two. (Also Willie is the one who is being lifted)

Also I agree this may take the cake for my favorite (also because I now have the dance I want Willie and Alex to do in season two)

Now I may have Time of my life stuck in my head ‘and I owe it all to you’ (actual a song lyric and technically I only have myself to blame)

I’ve been trying to answer this all day but kept getting interrupted by things including but not limited to my schoolwork and the fact that my kitten escaped the bathroom while my mum was trying to wash her which caused s t r e s s but I’ve finally got round to it so here we go!

Before I start, thanks! I actually managed to get most of my work in on time today which I’m really proud of (all of it was in on time if we ignore maths, but that’s my worst subject and I don’t think my teacher is excepting much from me anyway 😂😭)

And oh god I kind of am tempted to make tallies of how often we say that now lmaooo I’d add for me any variation of “ahdslflkdp” or “omg lmaooo yes”

Anyway! Let’s start!

BOX STUFF

1. Thank you!!!!! Exactly but somehow I can imagine he still manages to be messy. Like all his stuff is packed away neatly, but the boxes they’re packed away in are just everywhere and it’s a nightmare for Alex who likes to be clean and tidy. (Luke doesn’t care whether things are messy or tidy, and Bobby is messy but not as cluttered as Reggie I think) And yes!! He uses Luke’s and Bobby’s too, as well as a drum Alex accidentally broke and is now kind of like a box if that makes any sense lol

2. Ikr lmaooo he just puts them in there like “well we needed something” and when Bobby continues to say it doesn’t count because it’s not him he just claims the baby is an honorary member of the band

3. Yes! Maybe he found it one day, thought to himself that he’d read it and try it out later but then completely forgot about it and the box

BOARD GAME AND JAM STUFF

1. I am so in love with this idea oh my godddd, yes, your mind!!!! They have these extravagant board game nights that last hours and hours (while they’re all wearing their matching pyjamas or onesies of course). I love games like Hedbanz omg and I can totally imagine them playing this and also games like Cluedo, Pictionary, Articulate (great game btw if you’ve never played, highly recommend), and any game Julie finds like at a charity shop (because I can totally see her and Flynn going to charity shops and finding a bunch of cool stuff??) Whoever is in a team with Julie is pretty much guaranteed to win (unless it’s Luke, but Alex or Reggie with Julie are pretty much unstoppable) and in the old days Reggie was the master of all games. You’re so right about Luke getting angry lmao monopoly was banned after the first fifteen minutes of the first time they ever played it

2. I love how random that whole thing is but also that you’re 100% right. Also the fact that This Band Is Back is also called Reggie’s Jam has led to some interesting different versions of that song over the years

NUMBER STUFF

2. This kind of links in but not really - once they’re with Julie they have movie nights too and Flynn and Willie often join in. Julie and Flynn have a couple’s jumper and Reggie and Luke are jealous of how comfy they look all snuggled up together so because Luke is wearing one of Alex’s hoodies they both get into that. The only problem is Alex’s hoodie only has one head-hole so they end up stretching it and Alex isn’t happy. Him and Willie just watch the whole time, Alex not finding any of it amusing, Willie laughing his head off

3. Yes that was the exact image I had in my head!!! And it only works when Julie does it because it’s Julie and Luke isn’t really convinced but he’ll agree with her because it makes her happy and that’s all he really wants

4. Ok that made me think of Merlin if you’ve ever watched that show??? If you haven’t then you should, it’s on Netflix and one of my all time favourites. Anyway the phrase two halves of a whole is really similar to two sides of the same coin which is used all the time in Merlin and now I kinda wanna write a Merlin AU where Luke is Arthur, Alex is Merlin, Reggie is Gwaine, Julie is Gwen, Carrie is Morgana, Caleb is Uther, etc.

5. Yeah 🥺 I kinda just want more of Alex relaxing around Julie next season y’know? Like they’re obviously super close but he doesn’t always act around her the same as he does with the guys. I want to see them get closer, have nights where it’s just the two of them, maybe Alex officially coming out to her (though I like to think he already did that and it just wasn’t shown to us)

6. Omg ok that hurt. Wow. Because the boys don’t cross over or go to wherever Rose went after they died, they just stayed in the dark room for an hour, they can’t watch over Bobby and see how he’s doing and they can’t send him any signs like Rose did for Julie. If they had been able to do that then things would have been so much different!

8. What if Bobby started trying like everything the boys liked when they were alive? Like after he realises he can’t make jewellery or write poetry anymore he tries the Rubik’s Cube but can’t do it. So he tries puzzles but just can’t find them as interesting as Alex did. And he tries crosswords and sudokus but can’t wrap his head around them like Reggie. Eventually all his interests kind of drop away and he’s left with even less than he already had.

10. Absjdldl yes lmao that’s perfect! Honestly I love that for us, little random tangents here and there is perfect 😂

Yessss I love that lol like when he meets up with the guys again he’s soaking wet and grinning like an idiot lmao

Reggie has scrapbooks dedicated to their theme park trips and it’s kind of messy and most of the photos are blurry but he loves them as they’re some of his best memories

Also the image of Alex getting so lost in his happiness watching everyone having fun that Bobby just has to pull him out of the way of people is glorious and I love it

Also I had another random thought literally just now. This is kinda based on something that happened when I was 12 I think? So Sunset Curve goes to a theme park and they’ve just finished lunch and Alex wants to go back on rides immediately so they decide to go on something small and not scary so they won’t like vomit their food everywhere. Reggie goes with it because they won’t be going on a big ride. They go on one of the smallest rides there, literally it’s this platform that moves side to side I can’t really explain it better than that. And it is the most terrifying ride any of them have been on in their entire lives even though it looks fine and Reggie refuses to go on anything else for the rest of the day just in case he’s tricked by its tame appearance again.

Toffee nut - omg yeah no I love that! Bobby is definitely allergic to gluten. Alex loves baking special gluten-free stuff just for him and the others are banned from eating it (but y’know they ignore that and do anyway)

11. Tbh now you’ve said that I want it too and I’ve changed my mind, there’s a high chance he did meet her. Somehow. Even he’s not really sure what happened but yeah he did 😂

13. Honestly just any kind of fancy dress? Like cowboys is up there but I’d love to see Fairy Princess Luke ngl

14. I love the image of Nick very poorly containing his anger and ending up accidentally saying something like “they wouldn’t know sophistication if it snuck up and slapped them” and then having to explain what the hell that meant to Julie

16. No one can resist Reggie and Luke’s puppy dog eyes 😂 I love the idea that he shoos them away but they look at him through the door. So he shuts the door, leaving them outside, but they move to the window. He pulls the curtain down over the window but they come in through the front door and stand in the kitchen again and either he has to relent and let them stay or offload them to Bobby or Julie depending on when this is

17. Afjkgjl yes and Alex looks as if he’s embarrassed by it but really he’s isn’t, he’s actually angry because he wanted to be the one to show Willie his baby photos and Reggie stole that from him damnit!

19. This is kind of unrelated but it’s on the subject of water so kinda close - water fights. Absolutely. Especially in summer. Alex is the best at them. Luke sucks (it’s kind of becoming a theme that Luke is awful at anything competitive and I love that lmao)

20. LITERALLY. He said that and a bunch of other things (there’s too many to list lol) and I was immediately like “ok yeah he’s gonna be my favourite isn’t he” and I was right

Absjdidko yeah he hates the puns but love that they’ve found something to bond over, he’ll just never admit it. Whenever they’re doing it he just shakes his head disappointedly, trying to hide a smile

Lmao yeah Luke is well-practised at egging houses and for at least an hour he would have been thinking “I want to but it’s Julie” unable to decide and eventually he would have done it for the fun

Emily Patterson honestly would’ve won Mother of the Year imo (except the arguing with Luke, but that’s one flaw and otherwise she was great)

21. Omg yeah totally, he would have definitely struggled between supporting Luke by not going and supporting himself by going. Either he would have not gone, or gone secretly and updated Emily and Mitch to tell them Luke was safe.

YES DEFINITELY PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Honestly I love Mitch and there’s so much I want to see from him (especially a conversation with Ray) and I would love to write his character @ Kenny Ortega please hire me :)

Also here’s the list of you want to look through it whenever lol

24. I love this yesss we deserve to see Flynn’s response to Flying Solo! Honestly my prediction for her is that she kind of starts feeling left out of everything because she can’t see the boys (even though Julie and the guys obviously don’t mean to leave her out and they’re devastated when she tells them that’s what’s going on) which A) could be how she starts to reconnect with Carrie and B) could be the reason she sings a song for Julie. And YES Jadah Marie is so talented therefore Flynn is and that can’t be wasted!

Lmaooo I’m Going to Kill Santa Claus is one of the only videos I’ve not seen of his but I love all his other stuff. And I’m legit proud of myself for remembering that title 😂😂

25. Exactly! Like Trevor I think would be a semi-lenient parent and whenever Carrie acts up it would have been Alex who was the first to tell her off and tell her what she should have done. He would never shout, but he also wouldn’t sugarcoat it and would be honest. Reggie and Luke would have been gentler on her but Bobby would have just been terrible at discipline lol

26. Yes omg 🥺 the little gestures like making more hats are the things that get the boys to finally forgive him. And I know for a fact that Willie wearing a beanie is all I’m going to be thinking about forever now, holy moly

28. Ajsbdkspskke yes!! Eventually it turns into a whole series of songs that end with “Bobby I Swear I Will Hide All Your Knitting Needles If You Don’t Start Cleaning Up Your Yarn, This Is Your Final Warning”

32. I love that! The band is very sociable so they run into fans a lot and fans just start bringing their fanart and stickers wherever they go because you never know when you might run into Sunset Curve

Omg I can totally see hedgehog Alex that’s literally perfect I love it! Because he’s kind of shy and nervous but also prickly (like come on, his sarcasm and the way he just deadpans half his lines is brilliant)

Yessss it’s this really detailed painting made into a puzzle of all of them and Alex puts off making it for ages because he doesn’t want to damage it or anything 🥺

34. Lmao yeah Reggie has to take a load of photos because he’s using his Polaroid and he’s laughing so much that the camera shakes and the photo comes out blurry every time

35. Yes she wants him there because Ray is obviously the Best Dad Ever (I am definitely in agreement with Reggie on this one). Also it helps because then it doesn’t look like Flynn is by herself taking all these photos because the guys can’t be seen 😂

37. Yes lol the one rule is that if you take the pink one you MUST give it back. Willie is the only one who can occasionally get away with breaking that rule, in which case Alex just takes it back himself

39. Absjdldl yes especially because Carrie doesn’t comment on it (because she’s not really listening to him, just speaking her thoughts aloud, because I feel like she does that a lot? Talks to herself because it’s easier to understand her thoughts when she says them?)

40. Omg yes and that’s even better because Alex had done it with Luke and Reggie so he knows how! I mean, it doesn’t go well at all, but they have fun!

God me too now I’ve got it stuck in my head 😂 tbh I had Devil Went Down To Georgia and also Ring Of Fire stuck in my head for ages after we mentioned those so it only makes sense lol

#the spacing probably turned out weird between paragraphs idk but it just wasn’t working so I had to go with it 😂#williexmercer #asks #emily answers

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years

Note

Hdbdjsvsu i grinned like an idiot at ur response lolol. Like that made me so happy (*/ω＼) Also I very much agree that having someone fiesty instead of mellow is definitely a fun change. She was actually the first grumpy/fiesty main character i created and im IN LOVE with it lolol

Ah, yes, Rigby and Saeyoung having a bit of Genius Rivalry. Luckily for them, they don't overlap entirely. He seems to gear more towards robotics and whatnot, which she does not. She likes making gadgets and weapons and techy suits and some seriously sci-fi stuff lmao.

Oh, she's also a hacker, a very good one at that, although it's not her primary job so I'd say she's probably just below Saeyoung in skill level.

Here's the first thing I didn't mention, the thing that caused her parents to keep her home most of the time: She has powers. It's not too much of a rarity in her universe, but its still the minority of the population, and it's best to keep the fact that you have powers on the down-low as much as possible. Her powers are reactive adaptation, coupled with enhanced strength. Her primary active adaptation is "steel" appendages such as wings. The steel-like organic material is her go-to.

Ever since she was 14, almost 15, she's been a vigilante hero, with her best (and first) friend Ryder, whom she met that same year. He also has powers, and eventually she revealed her powers to him because he was already doing the superhero stuff. And she was bored. Wanted in on it.

Deviant, she goes by, and it's where her cocky side comes out. Overconfident, cocky, witty, along with her usual demeanor. She loves pissing off her opponent, just like she loves pissing off her cousin, who takes care of her at that age.

Ah, right. Her parents, who are actually v good people and helped train her the best they could even without powers of their own, disappeared when she was 12. First her dad, called into work at HQ in Europe (they live in the U.S.), then her mom a month later, same deal, cos her dad couldnt handle the task on his own.

And then another month, and all communications stopped.

From there, it was practically Rigby's life goal to find them. She refused to believe they were dead. Long story short, they had no choice but to disappear, but were finally able to reunite when she was almost 19 years old. 7 years. She was just glad to have her parents back.

Nevertheless, though she would never admit it, she definitely has separation anxiety, and when she was still under her cousin's care, whenever he would leave on a business trip, it showed, though she tries to suppress it.

With her parents, came 2 new family members to be adopted into the family: Vasyl (m12) and Amara (f16). The reasoning behind this leads into an explanation on Rigby's work (and her parents' work), so I'll save that for later.

Rigby was a little upset at first, and it took her a while to get comfortable with not only the new siblings, but her parents themselves. However, she got close to Vasyl pretty fast, and now, at 22, she would put her life on the line without hesitation if it meant his safety and survival. She's stated that he's her favourite person lol.

Okay, one last thing: the whole fam is multilingual. Russian is her parents' first language, but her mom is like 1/4 american. Rigby considers both english and russian her first language, but would say english if she had to choose. By 22, she knows i think... 20 languages? Her powers affect the mind too -- quick learning and such (i did my research lol). So she knows so many damn languages lol.

[417]

(Sorry if this was a lot at once ^^")

You immediately sold it to me the minute that you said superpowers. You said wings and I said I'm simping.

She also seems too smart for her own good and sometimes that can be a tedious thing as well as a bad thing but it doesn't seem like it's that bad for her in that regard anyway. It sounds like she has a little too much fun with what she's doing out there. But, who hasn't been a little cocky and in over their head? Especially when you know you're smart and can whoop some ass like that? You shouldn't expect less from a teenager, I mean we've all read the comics, we know how that works.

I definitely find that character arc intriguing so it would be fun to see her pushed to her limits and how long she can hold up that feisty and brazen mask. Because, I know that we all can appreciate a character that's willing to go absolutely Wild, it can also be interesting to see how far they can be pushed before they absolutely lose it for real. That is to say, you don't really know someone until you know... circumstances put your back to the wall.

It's probably a good thing that she and Seven have different fixations because I imagine if they were working on the same thing that they would probably go mad with power. Because when you stick two people that know too much of the same thing together, well, neither can really figure out when to call it quits so they just keep working until they've invented, I don't know, time travel. When in reality they were supposed to be working on making popcorn or something. Nerds are impossibly incorrigible.

Don't even ask how they did it, they don't even know themselves.

#417 anon #ask #oc #cmc #mod kait

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razberryyum · 4 years

Video

The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 15

(spoilers for everything MDZS/Untamed)

[covers MDZS chapters 57 and 58]

Yunmeng pain meter: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 out of a possible 10 🔪

(no WangXianness to measure, so I’m counting knives instead)

I’m going to be honest: the next couple of episodes are NOT my favorites in the series. First of all, there’s the almost unrelenting Yunmeng pain we’re subjected to, followed by that weirdness in Yiling (which I will get into when I get there) and then there’s even more pain. Not to mention, Lan Zhan’s pretty much MIA during this episode and the next three, and while it’s understandable why he’s not involved, I still really felt his absence and missed him a lot. As a result, I kind of dragged my heels on getting to this episode during this rewatch since I wanted to give myself some time to prepare for the arduous emotional turmoil that lied ahead. Stupidly, as a means of procrastination, I decided to read “The [Dumb] Husky and his White Cat Shizun” (aka 2HA/二哈和他的白猫师尊) by Meatbun Does Not Eat Meat, thinking that it would perhaps provide me with a bit of levity before I delved into all the Yunmeng pain. Oh my God, was THAT a WRONG decision. HORRIBLY WRONG. It was equivalent to me choosing to jump into the hot oil in order to escape from the frying pan...so now the frying pan isn’t looking too bad anymore. Here’s the thing, I had not read any spoilers about 2HA, only heard that it was really good, and I figured, it had to at least be less painful than MXTX-laoshi's Heaven Official’s Blessing (aka TGCF/天官赐福) because I DID hear how painful that is, so even though TGCF is also in my queue, I figured, I’ll read 2HA first to alleviate my mood. I am literally still trying to recover from the emotional scars that 2HA left in my poor weak heart. Seriously, Meatbun-laoshi owes me 300 more chapters of bliss to make up for all that suffering. It’s not that MXTX-laoshi didn‘t leave scars on my heart—I have plenty from MDZS/The Untamed too, and to a lesser degree from Scum Villain as well—but I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that 2HA left two-fold the amount of both of them combined. I shudder to think what TGCF is going to do to me since I’ve been told in terms of devastation it’s even worse than MDZS and SVSSS, but I’m not sure how it ranks next to 2HA. Just to be on the safe side, I definitely don’t think I’m going to touch that novel until I’ve finished crying through The Untamed all over again.

And wow did I cry a lot during this episode, and it’s only the start of the Yunmeng pain. I chose to highlight the scene above where Madame Yu bitch-slaps the shit out of Wang Lingjiao because it’s really the only jovial-adjacent moment in this episode and the next ones. The first time I saw this scene, I laughed my ass off and cheered out loud since Madame Yu was doing what I pretty much wanted to do to Wang Lingjiao since back in the Xuanwu of Slaughter’s cave when she branded Wei Ying. But now, it doesn’t bring me as much joy as it did when I watched it for the first time, knowing that it is the essential domino that gets knocked over which lead to the subsequent cascade of events that brought about the near-obliteration of the Yunmeng Jiang sect, the deaths of Mama and Papa Jiang, all the emotional and physical suffering that the three Yunmeng siblings experience, and of course the drastically different and ultimately tragic turn that Wei Ying’s life takes. So even though the bitch-slap scene still makes me smile, it mostly fills me with dread now, especially because of how quickly things take a turn for the worse. Of course I wish Madame Yu had succeeded in murdering every Wen sect member in that room, that Wang Lingjiao didn’t get a chance to summon Wen Zhuliu or succeed in sending that signal to bring Wen Chao and the wrath of the Wen sect down upon the Yunmeng Jiang sect. But perhaps what is the saddest aspect of the whole thing is, even if none of that happened, that STILL doesn’t mean the Jiangs and the rest of the sect would have escaped their destiny because there was no way Wen Chao or even Wen Ruohan would have let them get away with killing Wang Lingjiao and Wen sect members. So the destruction of the Yunmeng sect was inevitable sooner or later. More importantly, if the events didn’t lead to Wei Wuxian losing his golden core, getting thrown in the Burial Mounds, and practicing demonic cultivation, then the Wen sect’s rule over the cultivation world, and maybe even the world in general, would’ve been absolute and undeterred since the Sunshot Campaign was pretty much won because of Wei Ying. So basically, there is no way to escape horror and tragedy: no matter what line of dominoes got knocked over, they all eventually lead to an abyssmal pit of misery.

So Many Tears

Really I should just go through this episode by tracking the amount of times I teared up or straight up just cried, starting with this moment:

Seeing Madame Yu whip Wei Ying just made my heart ache so much: it’s one of my least favorite scenes of the entire show; so much so that this might be only the second time I’ve watched this moment all the way through. Actually, I can probably say the same about this episode and the next one as well: I think this is only the second time that I’ve been able to sit through these episodes from beginning to end since the first time I watched them. What makes this scene especially sad for me is the uncertainty of whether or not Madame Yu was just whipping Wei Ying for show and took no pleasure in it, or did she secretly relish this opportunity because she disliked Wei Ying that much. Considering their history, it’s hard not to believe that it’s probably mostly the latter. And while I want to think that she would have felt bad about cutting off Wei Ying’s hand, the unfortunate truth is that I’m sure she would’ve gotten over that pretty quickly. If it wasn’t for Wang Lingjiao bringing up the matter of turning their home into a supervisory office for the Wen Sect, Wei Ying definitely would have lost that hand, that was pretty clear. It’s rather disheartening that Madame Yu didn’t even try to talk Wang Lingjiao out of that punishment. I remember wishing that at the last minute she would come around and ask for mercy on Wei Ying’s behalf, even though that would have been out of character for her. So while her compliance wasn’t unexpected, it was still disappointing at the same time because if it had been Jiang Fengmian, no doubt SOME attempt would’ve been made to save Wei Ying’s hand. But at the end of the day, that’s unfortunately the nature of Wei Ying’s relationship with Madame Yu, which to me is one of her biggest flaws as a person. I love her overall, I think I’ve made that pretty clear, but her inability to forgive the existence of this orphan and accept him as one of her own is really her most upsetting trait, because even though she’s constantly arguing with her husband, she obviously does love and care about him.

I actually thought this was a really sweet moment since it plainly showed how much Madame Yu cared about Jiang Fengmian, even though she would never admit so in front of everyone, and I love the “kids” reaction. They’re probably used to scenarios like this so their little smiles just made the moment cuter and more real.

Even though what we’ve seen of the interactions between the Jiang parents was usually contentious, I appreciate the fact that we also got some sweetness like this moment, even though it also made me sad that they couldn’t be more loving to each other because Madame Yu couldn’t get over her own petty jealousy over a dead woman. I actually teared up during the scene when her Zidian transferred over to her husband right after Jiang Fengmian clearly expressed his doubt it would answer to him.

To me, this moment really encapsulated how disharmonious their relationship was, how out of sync they were as a couple. Even though Madame Yu clearly loved her husband enough to grant him ownership of her most prized sentient weapon, she never told him and he himself had NO IDEA of his wife’s feelings for him whatsover to the point that he didn’t even think the weapon would respond to him. There’s just something so sad about that whole scenario that it literally makes my heart ache for the Jiangs. I really wish there had been more understanding, communication and forgiveness in their marriage, and less jealousy, resentment and obstinacy. It wouldn’t have changed their fates, but at least their time together would have been happier and their family life would’ve been more joyful and peaceful.

Even More Tears for Wei Wuxian

My heart really broke for Wei Ying during both Madame Yu and Jiang Fengmian’s farewell scenes with their children because of how obviously different they treated him compared to Jiang Cheng and Shijie. I think when this episode first aired, I had only started reading the novel so I didn’t know just how bitter Madame Yu felt towards Wei Ying; therefore, when I initially watched this moment, I was actually holding on to the hope that at the last minute, she would come around and even if she did not give him a hug then perhaps at least she would soften up a little towards him.

Of course that was super crazy wishful thinking on my part, and honestly considering how this was the last time she would ever see Wei Ying again—this boy whom she more or less watched grow up into a man—she was pretty fucking brutal. The contrast between her attitude toward her son and Wei Ying almost took my breath away. I can only imagine Wei Ying probably never felt more unloved and like a servant than in that moment. Just looking at the screencap right now is making my eyes well up again for him. He looked so HURT.

Not to mention, her last words to Wei Ying really is pretty devastating, considering how momentous a catalyst it ended up being. He essentially gave up his life and future because of her words. And it’s not that Wei Ying wouldn’t have sacrificed himself for Jiang Cheng anyway, but I’m sure her words, and Jiang Fengmian’s shortly after, is what drove him on to make the decision he did at Yiling, which lead to just about every tragic event in this first lifetime afterwards.

Speaking of Jiang Fengmian’s farewell, it also made my heart hurt so much for Wei Ying because even though Papa Jiang’s good-bye was much more warm and gentle than Madame Yu’s, if there ever was even a smidgen of suspicion in Wei Ying’s mind that the rumors of him being Jiang Fengmian’s illegitimate child were true, his final parting words and gesture to him compared to how he is with Jiang Cheng and Shijie had to have put that thought to rest.

There was no tender face touching, just a good old shoulder grab followed by instructions to take care of his two children. I know the argument would be, well, Jiang Cheng and Shijie ARE his actual biological children, why wouldn’t Jiang Fengmian be more affectionate towards them in their final time together? Very valid, of course, but I guess I was also hoping his actions wouldn’t be any different among the three of them because he seemed to have really loved Wei Ying as well, to the degree that both his son and wife got jealous of his seeming favoritism. If only Madame Yu was also present to see this moment, she would probably realize all her jealous accusations and suspicions over the years really were utterly stupid and pointless.

They Cry, I Cry

I would have to be a monster to NOT cry during this scene. I was a sobbing mess, and really. I don’t think I’ll ever not be one during this scene no matter how many times I watch it. Frankly, I don’t even want to see it again after this time because it’s just too unbelievably sad. This whole episode really drains me, and yet I know the worst is yet to come.

Ode to Jin Zhu and Yin Zhu

These two ladies who are essentially Madame Yu’s right and left hands barely had any screen time or dialogue, but they more than made their mark with what they little had. Just by their defiant attitudes and the way they stood up to Wang Lingjiao, they were able to successfully convey both their status in the Jiang household and their strength of character. I really loved the economy and effectiveness of their brief time on-screen. Talk about making every single second count. Not to mention, they were able to hold off Wen Zhuliu long enough to allow their mistress to properly say good-bye to her son, and that is definitely no small feat to accomplish. I wish we had more time with them but I do believe these two loyal attendants deserve some solid recognition and accolades.

I Hate This Asshole

I wish the Wens had killed this SOB too when they obliterated his sect. I don’t dislike Jin Guangyao or Xue Yang, but I absolutely dislike Sect Leader Yao.

VOMIT

I HATE everything about this scene, and to be honest, I hate just about every scene involving Wen Ruohan in his throne room. The performance by Xiu Qing is just so horrible that I truly don’t understand WHY they gave him so much more screen time since that’s not how it was in the novel at all. I think Wen Ruohan only popped up twice in the source material, with the second time being his death scene. I know this was probably Team CQL’s way of extending the episode count but man was Wen Ruohan poorly cast. Why couldn’t they find someone closer to his donghua counterpart? Instead we’re stuck with this greasy old man who overacts in every single freaking scene he’s in. I’m not familiar with this actor’s work, I looked him up and I don’t think I’ve seen most of the shows he’s in so if he’s actually a well-respected veteran actor or something like that, and that’s why they expanded his role in The Untamed, then, wow, I’m sorry, I am just not a fan at all. As for the other crap going on in that throne room, don’t even get me started on those shitty Yin Metal zombies. So. Damn. CRINGEY. Everything about these Qishan scenes are really a big blemish on the show.

Questions I Still Have

Don’t really have any...really too sad to think.

Overall Episode Rating: 7 Lil Apples out of 10

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danganronpa-tng · 4 years

Text

Chapter 4 - Motive..?

We all gathered in the auditorium this morning (except for one of us) to wait for the next motive.

But Monokuma didn’t show up.

“Huh? Where is he?” Sara asked, looking around.

“Not sure... maybe there’s no motive this time?” Katelyn suggested.

“Maybe.” Kamron said.

“Well, I’m going by college rules. If the teacher doesn’t show up in 15 minutes, we’re allowed to leave.” Karma said, getting s chuckle out of a few people. A lot of us were still tired, though. Yesterday was one hell of a day, and personally, I was thankful for not getting a motive. It meant we could relax for a bit.

Eventually, 15 minutes had passed. Katelyn, looking at a watch she hadn’t ever worn before, sighed. “Ok, it’s been the 15 minutes. Let’s go.”

Katelyn walked out, Aspen walking with her. They seemed to be talking softly about somethings. I didn’t pay much attention, though; I had to go check on the person that wasn’t there at the meeting.

I made my way to the new rooms. Vanessa had opened an ice rink, London had opened a make up lab, and Estrella had opened... a record player room, it seemed. It had a single record player in the middle, with records in shelves around it. It wasn’t as big as the other rooms.

I walked I side, and instantly felt like backing right back out again. Aeja was sat down at a table in the room, flicking through some records she’d taken off the shelf. She looked tired and upset.

I debated for a moment. Should I check up with her, or leave her be?

My decision was made for me as Aeja spoke up. “Hayden..?”

“Ah... hey, Aeja.”

“Mm.”

I walked over, looking at the records she had out. Very random ones, honestly. One was a Vocaloid song I didn’t recognise. Another was some Katy Perry song. She had some others but the names were covered. Honestly, I didn’t even know you could put those sorts of songs on vinyl.

“Are you..?”

“Ok? It depends. Do you want the honest answer?”

“I mean, yeah?”

“Then no, I’m absolutely distraught. I mean...” she sighed shakily, putting down the records. “If I’m- if I’m being honest, even heaving myself out of bed this morning was an effort. I hadn’t noticed it, but... she made such an impact on my time here.”

I knew who she meant.

“I suppose... you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” She said, placing her head in her hand. I hadn’t seen anyone else as upset by a death until now. Or maybe I had, and I was just surprised by Aeja’s sudden rush of emotions.

“Hey, it’s ok...” I said, walking over and sitting at the table. She just mumbled something in response.

“Sorry?”

“No. No, it isn’t. I’m- I apologise for dumping this on you, but I’m just... I haven’t had to deal with a loss this close to me before. I felt... really close to her, you know? I understand how the others felt when they lost people close to them now. Oliver, Kassidy... Yaretzi, I suppose.”

You suppose? I decided not to question it.

“But I just... I know it’s selfish of me, but I don’t want to see the others at the moment. I shouldn’t be getting this upset, because the others kept it together well enough, but I just can’t. I need some time.” She explained, voice shaking. I nodded.

“I understand, but you need to know it’s ok to mourn. The others might not have openly expressed their grief, but I know a few people went to someone close to them to talk about it. I remember Aspen telling me that Kassidy had gone to him for emotional support. It’s ok to be upset by all this.” I told her. She nodded.

“...right. Thank you, Hayden.”

“Anytime.”

It was silent for a moment. Aeja picked back up the records, flicking through them.

“For some reason, she liked records.”

“Hm?”

“Estrella, she-” she stopped for a moment, taking a breath. “She told me once about how she liked records and vinyls. I think she said it’s because her father- Shuichi- used to play them alot. The family would dance to whatever he had. She always said she inherited more from Kokichi than Shuichi, but that’s one of the things she got from him. She asked me once what my favourite song was.” She held up the Vocaloid vinyl. “I’m not sure where it how she got it, especially since she never even knew this room existed. But still...”

Aeja went silent for a moment. I didn’t rush her into speaking, but instead I looked around the room. There was a load of different records with so many different songs. If Estrella really did love records, she would have loved this.

She slid the Katy Perry vinyl over.

“This was hers. Her favourite.”

‘Look What You Made Me Do’. Ironic.

“Ah, I see...” I said.

“Kind of ironic, I suppose. The song talks about guns and stuff... like in her case.” She hesitated before continuing to speak. “Can I... tell you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“I... I think there was something wrong with the last case. I think someone lied about their testimony. Whether it’s Sara, Yaretzi... whoever, something wasn’t right. It just didn’t sit right with my. That’s why I voted for myself. I thought something was up... but she got executed, and... we’re still here, so... I don’t know. Maybe I’m just emotional...”

It was a lot to consider. I had thought about it during the trial, honestly. I felt like something was off, like i just wasn’t considering something, but once it ended I had brushed it aside. But what if she was right..?

“I... I don’t want to accept that the girl I spent almost all evening with wasn’t her. We danced, we laughed, we... we almost kissed. I just...” She sighed shakily again. “It all felt so real... I don’t want to accept that it wasn’t.”

I didn’t respond for a moment. She went quiet, before saying, “I think you should go. I need to be alone for a bit.”

“Ok.” I stood up. “If you need to talk again, though, I’m here to listen.”

“Y-yes, thank you. Goodbye.”

“Bye.”

I walked back out, closing the door behind me. I could’ve sworn I heard a sob as I walked away.

Guess I’ll go find something to do.

#Danganronpa TNG #Motive #Aeja Komaeda

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thatmultifandomhoe · 5 years

Text

Strawberry Cream and BBQ - 21

Pairing: Hybrid Hoseok and Human Reader

Overview: Your best friend knows she can count on you for anything, so when she asks you to watch her hybrid while she’s gone for a study abroad trip for four months, you can’t say no. But when these four months are over, things have changed in a way no one expected.

Word Count: 6,421

Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Future smut, Angst, Best friends to Lovers

Warning: Angst and Fluff

Master List

Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 (Final) - Move in Day: A SC&BBQ Drabble

©thatmultifandomhoe Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

Smoothing out your leggings, you took an easy breath in and counted to ten before releasing it. The rest of your day had been a domino effect after Hoseok left, leaving you exhausted, confused, and frustrated by the time you got home. Professors were changing the syllabuses, the work load was increasing, and you were getting the late shifts at the store – which meant you were closing up more and more often – something you weren’t personally all that found of to begin with.

The only saving grace had been a single phone call from Hoseok during a short break you had. He wanted to remind you to eat lunch at some point since you had a habit of forgetting to do so, as well as to let you know that he couldn’t wait for tonight. There had been no mention of Sue, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him about this morning. You couldn’t hide it from him for long. If he mentioned anything then you would tell him, especially since it appeared that she was going to try and come back even earlier.

But now…now it was nearing seven – ten minutes to spare actually – and Hoseok hadn’t shown up yet. In that time, you had curled your hair, done your makeup, and managed to pick out an outfit that coordinated with everything. Black leggings paired with a cream-colored sweater that was soft to the touch, and a thin cranberry infinity scarf loosely looped around your neck twice. To pull it all together, you had your own well loved and worn leather jacket on, and black knee-high boots with a two-inch heel and some silver jewelry for the final touch.

The only thing missing, was Hoseok himself.

You shut the bedroom light off as you walked out of the room, the strap of your purse on your shoulder. It must be later than he thinks, you thought, settling on the couch with your phone in hand. He’s probably just busy with practice. It wouldn’t be surprising if that was the case, and the with show happening in May, he was planning on adding in extra hours at the Dance Studio for practice.

Out of habit, you opened up the last message that Sue had sent. She had yet to give an update on the finer details of her return home, but that was fine with you. In fact, you wished she hadn’t lied to her professor and would just finish the study abroad program. She was only leaving a month early after all. Yes, it was terrible what Colin did, and your heart went out to Sue, but was it really a good enough reason to come back home from a once in a lifetime chance?

Sighing, you dropped your phone into the purse, focusing on the TV. Entertainment Tonight was going through the most newsworthy events that happened to the celebrities in Hollywood. Someone got engaged, The Brady Brunch’s house was getting built, and like always, actresses and actors were walking on red carpets for movie premiers. Absolutely newsworthy…for the upper class.

It had your attention for the next ten minutes, and when it was seven o’clock on the dot, there was a sudden knock at the door. Jumping in your seat, you glanced around as if there was someone else in your apartment who was expecting company.

“Coming,” you called out, pressing one hand against your chest.

Opening the door, you spotted the pair of black dress shoes first. Then as your eyes trailed up, a white button dress shirt tucked into fitted black slack that were cinched with a black leather belt.

“A little birdy told me,” Hoseok smiled as he moved his arm out from behind his back, revealing a bouquet of carnations and lilies in red paper. “That someone’s taking you out on a date tonight.”

You were absolutely speechless.

His grinned widened as you silently accepted the bouquet of flowers. He had spent the last ten minutes deciding on which ones to bring, only making it back to the apartment in the nick of time. Leaning against the door frame, he pulled his right hand out of his pocket to reveal his watch. “Seven, right?”

“And you’re late,” you finally spoke, smiling as you looked up at Hoseok. Taking a step back into the apartment, he followed you inside as you went to go get a vase from one of the cabinets.

“No, I am on time,” Hobi playfully argued. His gaze softened as he watched you trim the flowers, carefully putting them in the water as if they were glass. Roses, as beautiful as they are, weren’t your favorite flowers. They were too expensive, overused for the holiday season, and personally, you didn’t think they lasted very long. “I was here exactly at seven.”

You set the vase in the center of the island with a roll of your eyes, taking a short step back towards Hobi to admire them. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

Hoseok simply wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. Without speaking, he kissed your shoulder once and slowly swayed the two of you back and forth. “I know things haven’t been smooth sailing so far,” he murmured, his arms only tightening the slightest. “But they will be one day. One day, all of this will be behind us, and it’ll just be the two of us.”

As he spoke, your eyes watered up. Some days were just really hard – the two of you hadn’t even been able to spend his heat together in peace – and it made you wonder if it would ever get better. Would it, when Sue came home? Or will that be another battle on top of everything else?

At the end of the day though, it was Hoseok who made it all better, who made it worth everything. Turning your head, you leaned your forehead against his, taking the moment to collect yourself and to push back those unwanted tears.

“I know something happened today,” he gently added, watching as your face fell. He didn’t take any comfort in knowing that you had been hiding this all day today. It wasn’t that he was upset that you never said anything – he had mulled it over and came to the conclusion that he would have done the same thing – it was the fact that you kept it to yourself. That you hid how you really felt behind a mask. That’s what hurt him the most. “Sue sent me a text today; she’s coming home early. And from your reaction, you already knew that.”

“I planned on telling you, I just…I just wanted us to have one day. One day where it didn’t involve us worrying…”

For the first time in your friendship with Sue, you were tired of her and the drama. Maybe it was because the day hadn’t been great, but you hated the fact that Hoseok and you seemed to be tip toeing around her. You understood wanting to tell her that the two of you were mates when she came back. That wasn’t exactly something you could explain over the phone to someone, especially when they’re the owner of the hybrid. But she was taking her own hurt and anger from Colin out on the two of you and it wasn’t fair.

“I know baby, I know,” Hoseok softly cooed. His shoes clicked against the tile floor as he moved in front of you, pressing his finger against your chin until you were looking up at him. His heart immediately clenched at the sight of the tears swimming in your eyes, seconds away from falling down. The hybrid side of him wanted to growl in frustration and comfort you at the same time. But he was forced to push instincts aside, focusing solely on your scent to calm himself and finish his sentence instead of carrying you to the bedroom and cuddling you.

He promised you a date and dammit, he was taking you out. “I’m frustrated with this too. I believe that you were going to tell me and I know that none of this has been easy. But we’re going to figure this out, I know we will. It’s going to be okay. Which is why tonight…tonight, we’re not focusing on any of that. We’re not going to talk about Sue or Colin, or anyone who’s been giving us hell. You, my beautiful mate got all dressed up and I’m taking you out on a date tonight, because you’re the only woman I want to spend my time with.”

Stopping to catch his breath, he smiled when he saw your lips twitch in a smile. “Tonight, it’s just you, and me. Even when we come home, it’ll just be the two of us. We can worry about everything else in the morning. So, if we get a call or text from Sue, we’re ignoring it. What do you say baby? Does that sound okay?”

God, you wanted to cry.

You had no idea what you did, be it in some previous life or the one you were currently living in, but you must have done something pretty damn special to end up with a mate like Hoseok. Wordlessly, you nodded. His offer was exactly what you had been trying to do since you got Sue’s text. He just managed to word it better.

Taking a shaky breath, you rapidly blinked back your eyes to get rid of the tears.

Watching you do this, Hoseok quietly walked back around you and hugged you from behind, kissing where he had marked you. There was nothing except love flowing from each kiss. With his gentle touches, your tears were gone in a matter of minutes, leaving you calm once more.

“Feel better?” Hoseok murmured, kissing your mark one last time before lifting his head.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good.” Releasing one last shaky breath, you covered his hand with yours, easily lacing your fingers together. “So, where are you planning on taking me?” It was all you could say to put you back on track for the night. You wanted this night to be about the two of you and no one else, just like he promised.

He straightened up and led you out of the kitchen, gently squeezing your hand as he handed you your purse. “Now that would just ruin the surprise. I guess you’ll just have to wait and find out when we get there.” He shot you a smile, and like he had hoped, it made you giggle. Your giggle alone made him feel like he was doing something right.

“Is this how all our dates are going to be?” You teased, following him out the door. “You surprising me?”

Even though you had already told him that you understood the significance of the mate mark, that it was what you wanted, it still sent a thrill to his heart whenever you mentioned the future, bluntly or casually, like how you just asked about future dates. It meant the world to him.

As the elevator doors closed, he slipped his arm around your waist, resting his palm on your hip. “No. I know for a fact you’re going to end up surprising me.”

“Hoseok,” you whined. “Can I open my eyes yet?”

Glancing at your face, Hoseok shook his head. He should have brought a bandana to cover your eyes, but it had slipped his mind and didn’t return until the two of you were down the street from Kim Seokjin’s Cafe.

“Just a little further Strawberry,” he promised, feeling your grip on his hand tighten when your foot wobbled for a second. But he quickly placed his free hand on your waist to support you. At least he had enough memory to walk behind you to make sure you didn’t fall and get hurt. “I got you baby. A little trust would be nice.”

“So wouldn’t sight,” you joked, smiling as you blindly walked forward.

“Touché Strawberry, touché.”

You didn’t say anything else though, simply listening to water tinkling down the manholes and cars driving by as Hoseok guided you to, well, wherever he was taking you to.

According to the calendar, Spring was to be here in two weeks, but apparently mother nature had other plans. The weather had been shooting up to the fifties and even, dare you say, the low sixties for some reason. Snow had been melting left and right and with the warm temperatures, you secretly wished for an early Spring, that way summer would get here quicker. But at seven at night, there was still a light breeze in the air that reminded that it was winter for a little while longer.

Hoseok’s hands gently squeezed you, signaling you to stop. His shoes scuffed against the sidewalk as he moved behind you once again, his hands slowly running up your sides until they settled on your shoulders.

You were hyper aware of his touch, your breath catching as you felt his chest press against your back, or how his thumbs couldn’t seem to remain still and were rubbing circles into your shoulders. When he lowered his mouth to your ear, it was like the breeze disappeared altogether and it was suddenly summer.

“Open your eyes Strawberry,” He whispered, pecking the side of your head. “We’re here.”

There was no hesitation. It did however, take you a few minutes to process where you were. At first, you didn’t understand where he had taken you. You didn’t recognize the high tables against the floor to ceiling windows or the cream couch and matching armchairs on the left side of the building, or even the fancy coffee machines that were placed behind the counter. Since it was late out, the lights weren’t as bright but on the dimmer side to set the mood, emphasizing the wooden furniture that was a variety of shade of brown.

It clicked however, when you saw a familiar face walk out from a room behind the kitchen. His lips pulled in a smile as his wind shield wiper laughter was heard even outside.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, your hands coming up to cover your mouth. “You…remembered?”

A sense of pride filled Hoseok’s chest. “Of course I did.” Nuzzling the side of your face, he kissed your cheek just as his smile split into a grin that he couldn’t contain any longer. “Now, are we just going to stand out here, or are we actually going in?”

You giggled like a school girl, unable to help it. Hoseok led you to the entrance, only letting you go to open the door, his hand settling on the small of your back as he led you to a high table near the window on the right side of the room.

It was actually busy for seven at night, but it wasn’t overly crowded so as Hoseok asked if the table he chose was alright, you heard him just fine. Even then his gentleman manners didn’t stop at the door, pulling the chair out for you and helping you on to it.

“What kind of mate would I be if I didn’t help you?” He teased, settling in his seat across from you. You were only able to shake your head, but your smile and blushing cheeks said otherwise.

“You’d be a crappy mate, that’s for sure.” A sudden voice coming from behind you said, making you jump in your seat.

Turning, you relaxed when you saw that it was Jin. His dark brown cat ears twitching as he smiled at the two of you, a tray filled with empty plates and mugs balanced on his arm. “Hey Jin.”

He smiled, his free arm coming to pull you into a brief side hug. “Hi to you too. It’s about time you finally got around to coming here. I can’t chat for long, but I’ll be back with coffees for the both of you. When I return, there better be a decision on a dessert or my heart will be broken.”

And as quickly as he had appeared, Jin swiftly maneuvered back into the heart of his café, his sleek tail bobbing in the air as he disappeared behind the kitchen doors.

“Doesn’t he need to know what kind of coffees we want first?” You hesitantly asked, stealing a glance at the menu, written neatly in white chalk that hung above the coffee machines. There were at least three chalk board menus for all the different types of coffee that Jin made.

“He knows my usual,” Hoseok explained, reaching across the table to take your right hand to hold in both of his. “Since this is your first time however, he’s going to surprise you. But he’s dead serious about us knowing what we want for a dessert.”

Pressing your lips together, you nodded, going to look at the menu again when Hoseok gently squeezed your hand. You raised an eyebrow, your smile softening as he kissed your knuckles before speaking. “Trust me with dessert?”

“I trust you with everything,” you automatically answered. It was cheesy, but absolutely true, and even made Hoseok’s smile widen. Just like you had wondered how you got so lucky to have him, he was thanking the heavens for having a mate as sweet and perfect like you.

“Well I think that was even cheesier than my cheesecake and I’m king of dad jokes,” Jin pipped in, this time returning with two mugs of hot coffee. “One boring and plain dark roast for Hoseok, and for the lady, one hot Raspberry Love Potion. And for dessert?”

You were too focused on alternating your attention between the coffee and Jin, still trying to wrap your mind around the name of what he called it, that you missed what Hoseok said.

“Raspberry what?” You cleverly repeated, looking at Hoseok when Jin left.

Hobi simply chuckled as he released your hand to lean back in his seat. “Raspberry Love Potion,” he repeated for you. Glancing at the cuff of his shirt, he undid the buttons and started to roll the sleeve up to his elbow. “When Namjoon and I were here, he brought him a Devil’s Blueberry Chocolate Mocha. Give it a try, they always taste better than they sound.”

Licking your bottom lip, you glanced at his now exposed arms, giddily smiling as you wrapped both hands around the fairly large mug. The heat warmed your palms up immediately and spread up your body making you sigh in comfort. Taking a sip, you were pleasantly surprised that the coffee tasted like raspberries, the coffee beans offering a little bitterness to the sweetness of the fruit. Mixed together, your taste buds exploded as you took another drink, this one longer than the first.

“Told you,” Hoseok sang, watching the world breaking moment.

With a roll of your eyes, the name of the coffee became more fitting with each sip you took. Finally setting the glass mug on the table, you slid your fingers over Hoseok’s forearm now that his sleeves were at his elbows. His skin was soft as you lightly traced the veins, a habit you noticed yourself doing more and more often.

Hoseok simply smiled, watching you as his eyes softened at not only your touch, but because he could sense you relaxing. You were stressed. It was all piling up on you: school, work, Sue, and he was always able to sense it even when you were laughing. It never went away. But as your fingers grazed his tan skin, he could almost see the stress evaporating from you, your shoulders drooping as they relaxed.

“How are your classes going?” He softly questioned.

You shrugged, lifting your head to look at him as you scrunched your nose up. Uh oh. “It’s not bad, really it isn’t, but some of the authors we have to read for my American Literature class are annoying. We’re in the Transcendentalist period and I want to rip my hair out.”

“Ah, it can’t be that bad.” Turning his arm over so you could continue following the path, he shivered at your touch. It reminded him of those brief moments in-between his heat, when the two of you were trying to catch an hour or two of sleep and you would gently trace invisible shapes on his arm, your pace slowing as you finally fell asleep. It was relaxing and to him, it was precious. Precious because as fantastic as the sex was, those moments when you were wrapped in his arms were pure; a reminder that it wasn’t just about pure instinct, but love.

“My professor is amazing. He’s clearly passionate about the subject which makes it easier to understand, but I just don’t like the period. I love, absolutely love, the Romantic period.” Your fingers stopped as continued to explain, and unknown to you, Hoseok saw the way your eyes lit up with excitement and with his enhanced hearing, he heard the slight increase in pitch.

“Tell me,” he used his free hand to lift his mug, drinking his coffee. “Was it because of all the romance?”

But you shook your head, giggling because you knew why he asked that. “More like the lack of romance. The Romantic period was the time of Edgar Allan Poe, Nathanial Hawthorne’s Young Goodman Brown. It was split between the Dark and Light, and it’s absolutely beautiful. The language they used; it was haunting and filled with despair…” Licking your lips, you took your hand off his arm, using it to gesture as you spoke. “And if you didn’t like the Dark, you had Washington Irving and his story Rip Van Winkle, filled with magic and even humor. There’s just so much offered in that period, I could spend forever studying it.”

As you spoke, Hoseok found himself getting lost in each word you uttered. He hadn’t gone to college, if it weren’t for the help from the patient and kind people at the Homeless Center for Hybrids, he probably wouldn’t have been able to get his GED. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand, it was the fact that you were so passionate about this that it had him hooked. He wanted to hear every word, wanted to know which was your favorite and why you hated those Transcendentalist people.

Jin came by again, but seeing that you were talking, he simply placed the dessert on the table in the middle of you two with two forks and a smile. “Chocolate cheesecake with raspberries and strawberries on the side. Enjoy.”

Even though he had tried not to distract you from the conversation, your voice halted when he announced the dessert. Blinking, you stared at the plate holding the slice of cheesecake, large enough for three people, and the bowl of fruit.

“Usually, Jin puts the fruit on the cheesecake,” Hoseok explained, handing you a fork. “But I know you hate strawberries, so I had him put them on the side.”

You took the fork, the corners of your lips curling in smile. “And the cheesecake?” Teasing him, you leaned forward as you took a raspberry from the bowl, popping it into your mouth.

“That sweet tooth of yours is almost as big as Namjoon is tall. Plus, if my memory serves me right, when we first met you brought the dessert. A cheesecake platter that surprised everyone because, as you had apparently said multiple times before, ‘cheesecake is meant for special occasions.’ Am I right?”

He raised an eyebrow, happily taking a bite of the cake as he waited for your response. From the way that your eyes got a little glassy, suddenly blinking to gain control of your emotions, he knew he was hitting it spot on.

There wasn’t anything for you to say. This was by far, the most romantic date that you could remember going on. The fact that he remembered something that you said, something that you thought to be so small, meant the world to you. “You’ve cared since way back then?” You found yourself asking, your voice thick with emotion.

Hoseok lowered his fork, switching it to his left hand so that he could reach over and slip his hand into yours. “Of course, I’ve cared. I may not have known that you were my mate back then, but I’ve always cared about you.” Squeezing your hand, he glanced at the mate mark on your neck. It didn’t look as bad when he made it, the skin was no longer red but he knew it was still tender to the touch. Maybe in a few days it would be completely healed. “You were my best friend, and still are. Even though she’s my owner, I always paid attention to you and what you said, because you were just as important to me. Even more so now.”

The back of your eyes stung with unshed tears and as you blinked them away, you noticed a couple other female hybrids glancing in your direction, nodding with hopeful looks. Daydreaming of their own mates one day saying something as sweet as that to them.

“Hoseok,” you softly whispered.

His fork clinked against the plate as he leaned forward, cupping your cheek with his other hand to wipe away the few straggling tears that managed to slip out. He knew the other hybrids would be able to sense the emotions coming from you, overwhelming them with the love and awe you were wrapped up with. But he didn’t care, his sole focus was set on you. That love was for him and if it was possible for him to get drunk off it, he’d gladly drink all that you were willing to give. “I know Strawberry, I know.”

Gently leaning your forehead against his, you covered his hand with yours as you softly smiled. He returned the gesture, including a sweet kiss to your lips before pulling back so the two of you could continue eating.

From that point on, everything that had occurred prior to leaving the apartment vanished from thought, completely forgotten about as the next several hours were spent in the café. It was like the two of you hadn’t been living together since January. From talking about how the weather man had lied about today reaching a grand seventy degrees when it only touched the mid-fifties, all the way to stories that Hoseok had from the Dance Studio.

It didn’t last an hour or two. No. You were so wrapped up in Hoseok; the way his fingers fit perfectly with yours, how he laughed with his whole body, the way he insisted on feeding you a raspberry because it was, ‘a romantic gesture,’ that you missed the sky darkening despite sitting next to the floor to ceiling windows. It went unnoticed that people were leaving more than they were entering the café as the hours went by.

Hoseok was the one to realize that the couch was free. A simple glance around the coffeeshop when you slipped off to use the restroom, stretching backwards against the chair when he saw that more than half the patrons were gone. With a smile, he slipped your purse over his shoulder and carried your coffee to the couch, setting the mug on the coffee table first before going back for his stuff.

By the time you emerged from the restroom, your smile faltered when you didn’t see him at the table, all of your things missing. You could have sworn that the two of you were sitting at the table by the window. As you scanned the room, you were shocked to find that café was a little less than half occupied. The waiters and waitresses weren’t rushing, but leisurely making their rounds to the tables that still had customers at them. It was then that you saw a familiar person sitting on the couch. His arm resting on the back, the spot to the left of him empty and as you made your way over, you could see him scrolling through his phone.

You leaned over him to wrap your arms across his chest, pouting when he didn’t look surprised, only mildly amused as he raised an eyebrow. “Enhanced hearing means I heard you walking from the bathroom.”

Rolling your eyes, you leaned up to kiss him. He immediately placed his hand on the back of your head, keeping you in place. You didn’t want to stop, but your smile was threatening to break the kiss anyway, so you moved despite his whines. They came to a stop as you settled next to him though, his arm settling around your shoulders and bringing you close. So close, that your legs were pressed against each other and you had room to bring them up onto the couch, his tail thumping against the cushion the entire time.

“You know,” he gently spoke, kissing your forehead. “I used to be so miserable, that I had wished my mate would never meet me. Because I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to love someone as battered as me.”

“Hoseok,” you whispered. He had never mentioned not wanting to meet his mate before. It was something that he never spoke of, but you had always assumed otherwise. You always thought that hybrids wanted to find their mates. The idea of not hoping to not meet them, it seemed unthinkable.

He sadly smiled as he brought his hand up, his fingers running through your hair. “What would I have been able to offer you Strawberry? I had been homeless, with no job, sometimes going days without food. I would have been embarrassed if you came into my life back then, not because of you, but because you’d be stuck with a sorry ass mate who could barely take care of himself.”

Tears came to your eyes as you shook your head, but Hoseok leaned his forehead against yours and kissed you again. Short, sweet, and a little apologetic.

“I love you,” you finally told him. Looking into his brown eyes, you saw them slightly widen. It was the first time that you’ve said those words after that first kissed. You had always loved him and you had said it before plenty of times, but that was back then, back when it was only friendly.

Shifting so that you were sitting up, you blinked back the tears. “Those times are behind you Hoseok, but if I had met you back then, I would have done everything possible to give you a home and helped you to find a job. I would have cooked whatever you wanted and made sure there were enough snacks to last you months. Because you weren’t ever a sorry ass, not then and not now. You just had some rotten luck and needed a helping hand. And I would have loved you back then too.”

His eyes had watered during your little speech, unable to hold his emotions back. For a brief second, his gazed wandered to the window, catching his reflection. Three years ago, he only had a handful of clothes to pick and choose from and slept on a cot in a room with other hybrids wondering if they’d ever be able to leave the Homeless Center. He never thought that one day he’d be wearing a button up dress shirt and able to afford multiple cups of coffee and desserts, with an angel sitting right next to him telling him that she loved him.

Wiping under his eyes, he took his time in kissing you. No rush, nothing but passion and love. Your fingers gently touched his cheek as you kissed. It was like the two of you were in your own bubble, neither caring who saw or heard what either of you said.

After a while, Hoseok finally pulled back, his free hand resting on your waist as he placed one last kiss on your lips. “I love you too Strawberry. I love you so much.”

You softly smiled up at him, murmuring the words back to him once more. Since his arm was on the back of the couch, you rested your head on his bicep as he leaned down, lips gently kissing the side of your neck that was unmarked.

Time once again passed by much faster than you realized. If it hadn’t been for Jin kicking Hoseok and you out of the café because it was five minutes to closing, you easily could picture spending several more hours there. It had been a shock to realize that Jin already had chairs turned upside down on the tables and the machines wiped down, simply waiting on you two to leave to finish cleaning and locking up.

With his arm wrapped around your waist, Hoseok safely walked you back to the apartment. The starry midnight sky, and the clicking of your heels and his dress shoes against the sidewalk as you took your time getting back home was the perfect way to end the night.

A comfortable silence wrapped around you like a soft blanket, the entire night replaying in your mind as he opened the door for you, letting you enter first. Kicking off your heels, you turned around to face Hobi, softly smiling when he raised an eyebrow at you in curiosity when you gently tugged on his tie to pull him closer.

You didn’t speak as you glanced over your shoulder, carefully walking backwards as Hoseok followed you with stars in his eyes and a grin. It wasn’t until the back of your legs touched the mattress that you stood on your toes and kissed him again. He was smiling in the kisses as his arms held you against his body before oh so gently lowering you against the blankets, his lips responding to the pace that you had set.

Maybe it was because of his revelation of how he had once hoped he’d never find his mate, but you just wanted to give him all your love until he never doubted his worth ever again. Fingers trailing against your stomach, your body quivered at his touch, but you broke the kiss by leaning your head back.

“I love you,” you softly whispered once seeing the confusion in his eyes. Carefully sitting up, you cupped Hoseok’s jaw as he sat next to you on the bed. “I love you now and I’m going to love you forever when we have grey hair, but Hoseok, I would have loved you if we met all those years ago.”

Hoseok’s eyes watered up as he silently listened, his heart feeling like it was going to burst from your words.

Shifting so that he was the one with his back against the headboard, you straddled his lap as you ran your fingers through his hair. “So please, let me love you tonight.”

Wordlessly, he watched you in awe. He never thought he’d end up with someone who wanted to ensure that he knew that they loved him, past and present versions of himself. Nodding once, he comfortably situated his tail, before you kissed him again, completely distracting him while your fingers took their time in unbuttoning his dress shirt. It wasn’t until your lips trailed down his neck that he removed the tie for you, his head leaning back as his chest softly rumbled with a content growl when you slid the shirt off his shoulders.

“I love you,” he softly murmured when you leaned back to toss your sweater and scarf to the floor, not caring where they landed. He saw the sparkle in your eyes at those words, and when you again repeated them back to him, he eagerly kissed your sweet lips before letting you have control of the reigns.

He never thought he’d say those words, but now he couldn’t get over saying them to you. And finally hearing you say them back to him; it sent his stomach twirling with butterflies and made him want to cry out of happiness.

Many hours later, when sleep finally claimed you, Hoseok gently pulled your naked body firmly against his chest under the many blankets you slept under. You shifted and he thought he woke you up, but you simply adjusted your head against the pillow before settling back down again.

It was while you slept, that he brushed your hair back to reveal the mate mark, a sight that he would never get tired of seeing. His bottom lip trembled as his eyes burned with tears. Pressing his lips together so as to not wake you, his arm that was wrapped around your stomach tightened just a little as he buried his face in your hair, letting the tears silently fall for the last time.

Too many times he cried in his sleep over the fear of spending his life alone and stuck on the street. He lost track of all the efforts he had once made to try and avoid finding his mate, not wanting to burden someone with lowering themselves because they were stuck with loving him.

He was done crying, because he wasn’t that scared boy who’d been left at the adoption center all those years ago by his owners. He was no longer the scared and hurt young adult who hid his tail and ears as a means to survive. Like you had proven to him, he was a man who had a mate who was in love with everything about him, and you were here to stay until the end of time.

Sniffling, Hoseok kissed the back of your head, then your mate mark and your shoulder before settling on the pillow. His eyes were heavy but his heart was the lightest it’s ever been, especially with everything that’s been happening with Sue lately. He didn’t know what was going to happen when she got back, but he believed in the love and the mate bond to keep the two of you together.

“I love you Strawberry,” he whispered, one last time, despite knowing that you were too far into dreamland to hear him. Closing his eyes, he felt himself drift off, slipping into his own dreams when he heard it.

“I love you Hobi,” you sleepily spoke, your voice so soft that a normal human being wouldn’t be able to hear it. But he was a hybrid, and when his hearing picked up on the words, he fell asleep with a smile.

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slasherscream · 5 years

Note

poly Billy and Stu and their s/o as parents? like the type of father's they'd be and all

A/N: glad you all know that i'm only here to put these dumb-ass boys in all sorts of domestic scenarios and nothing else.

billy loomis x reader x stu macher ft. starting a family with these idiots

——————–

Let's get one thing straight here. Billy has been dodging the idea of starting a family since you started having it. He could smell the urge to have a kid on you and was like (big gag). There are so many reasons for him being like this he can hardly name them all. This doesn't stop him from trying you know, cause he's a huge asshole.

Him? Somebody's Dad? Okay babe, sure. He lists a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with the root of the problem which is actually his own insecurities. Yes it's true he's never really liked kids much. Yes it's true he's probably not the best role model even after all these years of growing up. You get the picture already Billy, fucking hell.

Stu is neutral on the subject for a long time until his own "biological clock" starts ticking. Then you both find yourself sharing longing looks at families you cross on the street. You'll be having lunch out somewhere and coo at a baby that's all the way across the restaurant. Stu happily joining in. Once Stu is on your side Billy starts getting really defensive .... (aka more insecure).

Honestly you're not the one to talk him out of his own head for this one. That's all Stu. Because as ridiculous and goofy as Stu can be he understands intimately and deeply how Billy works no matter how much of an enigma Billy fucking thinks he is. Billy storms out because he doesn't want to deal with his feelings (first time he's done it in years) and Stu goes to chase him down and tells you not to worry, he's got this.

You're very upset but when they come back the first thing Billy does is kiss you gently, Stu standing in the doorway and simply watching. There's several visible hickies on Stu's neck so you know he and Billy already made up while they were gone. Now it's your turn to receive Billy's apologetic affection. You and Stu share a knowing exasperated look over Billy's shoulder. You both love him though.

Billy was just insecure about being a shitty parent or your relationship falling apart and somehow effecting a kid. Honestly it all goes back to his own undealt with familial problems and once Stu gave him an honest talk about how you're all not #His Parents?? He's good. He's using his braincell again and he's fine.

Now onto the actuality of having the kid! You're in for quite the ride co-parenting with these two bastard idiots.

Stu is the dad you can get away with doing just about anything with. He’s the parent that if you go to them they’ll just say yes. Sometimes he’ll use his one borrowed braincell and hit the kid with “did you ask dad?” or “did you ask s/o?”. The kid pouts because like .... obviously fucking not since I came to ask the parent who'd just give in. Weak-willed! Weak-willed! Weak-willed!

This is Billy every time he has to talk to his kid about any bad behavior.

You'll have to be the PTA parent right off the bat because the boys are just ...not gonna. Unless there's a real problem they're gonna default assume everything is fine and not look deeper or get too involved because like... This has nothing to do with my fucking kid in particular? You want me to go to a parent meeting....about....repairs in the library? Fuck you.

The one exception to this is during the "first starting school age" and it's Billy who is the exception. Stu loves the kid but he's very chill and not a helicopter parent. He's honestly the one who has to calm you two down a lot because he knows everything will be fine.

Billy? Kid first starts school and he's this parent (don't watch past 15:00). He thought he'd be fine but he's anxious as shit. The last one to leave the drop-off even if his kid is fine. But oh god .... oh god if they're freaking out? Oh boy he's gonna start freaking out. Hiding it like a pro but you know your man and can see the panic in his eyes. One well placed "daddy I wanna go home!" and he'll break and haul them right from the classroom. You and Stu have to intervene.

Billy wants to hang out in the cafe that just so happens to be a five minute walk from the school all day. You put your foot down and tell him they're gonna be fine. You have to cuddle him on the couch all day to keep him still. When it's time to go pick the kid up he's out the door ... so fucking fast. He almost leaves y'all highkey. Billy and the kid run to each other full speed and he picks them up and doesn't put them down...like....all day. No you two cannot get a turn.

Sometimes Billy gets very emotional about the life they’re giving their kid. Not out of insecurity or anything like he thought would happen when he first thought of starting a family with you and Stu. He actually realizes that you’re all doing a fantastic job of being parents and that your house is full of love to the max. It makes him soft(TM).

Wanted to keep this totally gender neutral but it’s gotta be said ….. this goes double for if the s/o is a woman. Seeing them with their child stirs something in Billy deeply vulnerable. He’s literally buried his head in the crook of your neck before and thanked you quietly for being such an incredible mother. He was so sincere about it you started crying and honestly? ….Maybe he allegedly got misty eyed. Okay back to gender neutrality now!

Y’all wouldn’t have more than two kids honestly. I can’t imagine Billy and Stu wanting more than that. And they’d want to have them really close together/close in age so they grow up close/as friends. They're the single kids who kinda wished they'd had a sibling growing up. Billy because he thinks that would have been less lonely and Stu because he thinks it would have been fun. You (if you have siblings) know.... better. But if you wanted multiple kids yourself you keep your mouth shut and just wait for them to watch and learn.

Stu is the favorite parent honest-fucking-tea. He just is! He’s playful. He’s fun. He’s loving. He lets his kid climb all over him and play wrestle. They're constantly playing airplane or on this man's shoulders. He can match them energy wise any day of the week. He doesn’t stop being the favorite when they get older either. When the kid is like grown/20′s basically whatever their "I am no longer being raised to be a person" stage of life? They’d probably dead ass hang out with him as a "friend".

"Nah I can’t come to the party I got plans with my dad this weekend…. fuck you he’s way more fun than you guys-”

Billy is the strictest parent but he’s very loving and devoted. He’s the parent your kid runs to whenever they feel they need protection. It warms Billy’s heart to be that to them. Their first line of defense against the whole world. It’s been like this since they were little. If they had a nightmare they’d run into the bedroom and bypass the two of you completely and head straight for Billy. He's also a little smug about it. Especially to Stu and especially if they have a daughter. I'm the alpha Dad?? Tremble before me.

They don’t have a preference for adopting or having bio kids. You’re probably the deal-breaker on that, your choice goes.

Adoption? They both thought they wanted a boy. Super adamant about it. Gonna play football... grill shit together. ...grill a football together. You? Neutral. But all along you knew damn well you were gonna wind up having a fucking daughter. Lo and behold!

They see a little girl playing by herself in the corner. She can’t be much older than six. She set herself up a whole little mini city and then they watched as she took a dinosaur toy .... and destroyed it thoroughly. She made quiet screaming people noises and everything. Or just ..... this. They instantly looked at each other like 👀👀👀 are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Billy, clutching his chest: oh shit what’s going on You: your heart is growing three sizes you fucking grinch- Billy: don’t fucking curse she could hear you and she’s ours now-

Once they've got the perfect weirdo little girl under their belt then they'll think about having a boy. But they'd want to make sure she's totally settled into life with the three of you before they bring another kid into the mix. And ... lmao if she expresses disinterest in having another kid around. She is ... #Princess and gets whatever she wants. Whatever! She! WANTS!

You have to convince her you three will never love her less even with another kid around and besides .... she's gonna be getting a stinky brother this time so she'll still get to be daddy's (plural) little girl. She agrees and now the boys are back on board. Fucking absolute pussies.

Funniest fucking thing if you guys go as a family once again to try and get a boy and instead your daughter bonds with a ..... get ready for it! Different little girl! Billy and Stu are fucking SCREAMING. Look at her this one is perfect too. God dammit ... god dammit we have another daughter now.

Two daughters? Two? They'd rule the fucking house. Billy can see manipulation coming from a mile away and yet he let's it happen because they're both so cute running the show. Plus it's like when lions fake being hurt when their cubs attack them to encourage them to be better hunters. He wants his daughters sharp! He wants his daughters clever! He wants them to be able to do whatever the fuck they wanna do!

Stu is less good at seeing the manipulation and it's so fucking funny .... he doesn't even wanna see it! He's legally blind! His babies want something? He will throw any amount of money at them and whatever they want. Is the Dad that they'd beg him to start like... a new hobby or sport and he'd get them everything they need to do it (top of the line expensive shit) and then! If they wanna quit a week later? Not even mad! What do we wanna do this week, sweethearts?

You have to stop them from being spoiled, little monsters because your husbands sure fucking won't.

You have walked in on them doing tea parties and you did take pictures. Stu was posing for them while Billy just looked straight at the camera with murder in his eyes and you knew in your heart you were gonna be getting payback for this later in the bedroom (worth it).

Billy is the type of Dad that if he tells someone he's gonna be busy watching his kids and they go "oh? babysitting duty, huh?" he launches into a ten minute rant about "how am i fucking babysitting? it's my fucking kids? these are my kids? you can't baby-sit your own fucking kids. that's called parenting. you know what, Nicholas? that's why your kids are so fucked up-"

Billy starts beef with other parents if I didn't make that clear.

Stu is the parent that gets too into whatever his kids are doing. School plays? Soccer games? Science fair? Jesus christ... he has quite literally almost gotten you all banned from every activity your kid has been in. He's gotten penalties before. Decided to skip the middle man once and coach your girl's teams to make it easier. Chaos ensued that summer.

Honestly? Best Dad(s) Award. 10/10. Should totally do it again.

——————–

#billy loomis x reader x stu macher #stu macher x reader #billy loomis x reader #stu macher imagine #billy loomis imagine #slasher x reader #billy would take the longest to want kids and stu is billy's follower adjkl #however there'd get to be a point where stu starts seeing families out in public and kids playing around with their dads and shit that he #just cannot parse anymore...billy i wanna be a fucking Dad now we're like 40 years old i need you to get over your mommy and family issues-#stu and the reader would have to gang up on him to get the kid they want but once billy hAS the kid??#billy: if anything ever happened to my child i would kill everyone in this room and then myself #like adjkl i'm serious in that i feel he'd even be wary during...the pregnancy or adoption progress #like he's going along with it because he doesn't think it's fair to deprive both his partners of something they really want but #he ...is wary and just decided that 'hey i can at least give some kid a good home' and figuring you and stu will give the kid .....actual #love...and shit .....like god i wish i could put into words what he's thinking but #it goes out the window once he actually gets the kid so it doesnt matter adjk;#if you adopt you're gonna walk outta that place with the WEIRDEST kid ...she's either lilo or anne of the green fucking gables #they will not SETTLE for normal domestic home life they want ODD-BALLS we're the fucking ADDAMS family in this bitch

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mikkachu8888 · 4 years

Text

A/N I do not own any of the main plot line or characters of Marvel. Those rights are reserved for the creators. Thank you.

Peter x adult!reader

You were nervous to say the least. You looked at the clock on your wall again. It was probably only 15 minutes until they would arrive. You sighed. Mae and Peter are coming over for dinner. It's only been a few months since Tony's funeral and you can't say you were coping well. Natasha...Tony... Steve... all gone. Steve wasn't dead, but he seemed on the verge of it due to his old age now, but either way you weren't ready to let him go either. It felt like you were robbed of so much time you could have spent with him. He always was my most understanding fake uncle/dad/brother...or whatever you wanted to consider him. It didn't matter how you felt though, it's what makes him happy and you have to respect that... even if internally you weren't ready to bury another one of your family members. These people helped raise you and it broke your heart to see how your family got so much smaller.

Clint made more of an appearance in your life after the events, however. After Nat died you both found great comfort and grieving her death together. He became your new outlet to vent, which had previously belonged to Steve. Actually, this whole dinner was Clint's idea. It was something that was meant to clear the air between Peter and I.

"Are you okay?"

I turned to the voice and saw my fiancé of 8 months standing in the kitchen door with his hands in his pockets and looking at me with a concerned, but supportive smile.

"No..." I admit. "I've faced mass genocide, the largest war to human kind, and losing most of my family all at once... and yet... I've never been more nervous than I am right now."

"What do you think is going to happen?" (f/n) says.

"I don't know... I know it's really not that big of a deal compared to what we've all gone through before, but for some reason I can't bear to see Peter so upset with me. It...Just...It hurts my heart. I can't explain it." you say putting your face into your hands.

"I understand... and to be honest I think it is... a big deal." (f/n) says walking over and placing his hands on my arms gently. "So many families have been disrupted by the blip. Parents seeing their children all grown up all of a sudden, couples having larger age gaps and who have grieved and moved on, people who have blipped and realized that their loved ones that have remained here passed away in that what seemed to be moments they've been gone...in which it was actually years."

You looked up at him. He gave a small smile. "You are not the only one struggling to adjust in these weird times and grieving the lost time. I'm sure Peter is just as confused and nervous as you are. He was your boyfriend, your lover. You guys were very close and I'm sure when he came back from the blip he still thought you were the same as ever... only to realize that it wasn't the case."

"He saw me for the first time at Tony's funeral...and he wouldn't even talk to me. He just stared at me... almost like he was afraid of me." The sentence came out like it was a soft whisper, but ended with just pain and hurt in it.

"Is that a bad thing?" (f/n) asked. "Wouldn't you be? I know I would, especially if I was just a 16 year old kid."

"No no...No... You're right. I honestly should be thinking about him too. He's probably shell shocked and I'm just worried about myself." You take a deep breath and gave a slight bitter chuckle. "I'm the adult here. I've matured and learned to cope. I shouldn't be the one who's scared here."

"I think it's okay for you both to be scared. Don't worry, though. I'll be there and Mae will be there to help. Clint says he'll be standing by if you need help." It was at that moment, the doorbell rang making you jump. "You got this. I promise."

He gave you a kiss on the cheek before leaving to answer the door. You mulled over his words for a moment before sucking in a breath and following him. As you walked through your living room you reached up and began fixing your hair as you walked. You wanted to make sure you at least looked like you weren't a complete mess, but you were on the inside. A horrible, grieving, pitiful, shawarma and ice cream eating mess.

I wore black. It was my go to color. Not because I was sad or grieving, but because it is the most convenient color and showed so much class while also hiding your shame. There was very little the color black couldn't hide. You were grateful that when you joined SHIELD and the main uniform color was black. You cut your hair shorter and mostly wore it up in a tight seamless bun for work, but tonight it is in its full glory. Your fiancé wore basic white button up and black pants. He had on a tie before, but you supposed it was bothering him so he took it off. At least he put on the black blazer as well. You never liked the tie anyway. It was just something Steve had said one time that was necessary for important events. He taught (f/n) how to tie it and everything.

You stood beside (f/n) a little ways back as you were bit afraid. He opened the door and there stood Mae, Peter, and shockingly Happy smiling back. Peter actually wasn't smiling. He wasn't even looking at neither you nor (y/n). His gaze was to the side towards the floor. It was clear that he wasn't ready to face reality either. Your eyes moved back to the group as a whole. "Happy, what are you doing here?" You- asked stretching out a smile that may have seemed a little forced.

"Well, I was just popping over to the Parker residence from visiting Pepper and Morgan, and Mae invited me to come along, so I thought I haven't seen you in a while and there was no harm in dropping by as well. I wanted to see what you've been up to and what not." Happy nodded with a big smile. He leaned close and half whispered "Mae thought that you all could use as much help as you could get with this weird situation anyway."

"O-oh... okay... well um. Thanks for coming. I'm sure it's appreciated." You internally cursed. More people to witness the horror that will be this dinner. You turned your attention to Mae. "Hi, Mae." You smiled a bit and you could tell she already had tears pricking her eyes and she held out her arms for a big hug. She gave you tight motherly squeeze and rubbed your back. "Hi, Honey. Gosh, you've gotten so big. You just look absolutely beautiful."

"Yes. Thank you. It's been so long since I've seen you... Well I suppose not to you." You attempted a joke to lighten the mood. She and Happy laughed though that joke didn't seem to land well with Peter as he didn't laugh and only seemed to be made more uncomfortable.

Your eyes did fixate on Peter now and the silence of the group became thick and very tense. He wasn't saying anything and you bit your lip. "Hey...Peter." Your voice was softer and sounded week. He looked exactly the same. Young baby face with wispy brown hair that seemed to like to hang in his face depending how it fell. He did a pretty good job at keeping it combed back, however. His brown eyes finally looked back at you and widened just slightly. You looked so much different, yet, exactly the same. For starters, the makeup. That was so much more new. You never wore makeup. You were perfectly happy with the nude appearance of your face. Although you weren't wearing much makeup it was still prevalent that you had some on, but just enough to look clean and classy. Your hair wasn't as super long as you had it when you were younger. It was always down and long and it was a daily struggle for you to keep it maintained and out of paint or your food at lunch. You were always getting it caught in your mouth or finding random strands of it on your clothing or in your stuff. He remembered how sometimes when he kissed you your hair would get caught between their lips. It was embarrassing then, but now he missed it. Now it was cut much shorter and seemed more tamed. He wasn't sure if he liked that or not. It didn't matter, however, for some reason in Peter's mind it made you look all the much more mature and older. Everything about you seemed older and mature. Your body was different. Slightly wider hips and a bit larger breasts. He probably wouldn't have noticed either difference if it wasn't for the dress you were wearing... or for the matter that you were wearing a dress at all. Dresses and skirts weren't your forte last time he saw you. You said they restricted you from doing the things you wanted to do. No, leggings and jeans covered in paint, pen marks, sharpies was what you wore on a daily basis along with an oversized hoody of some sort. Peter looked down at the ground. He noticed you weren't wearing any shoes. He cracked a slight side smile. At least that was one thing that didn't changed about you. You always hated wearing shoes. It didn't matter where you were or the temperature outside. Shoes were never the priority for you. You always carried a pair and wore them when you had to, but if they bothered you too much or you just found them unnecessary you'd kick them off and immediately toss them in your backpack. So many times you'd walk down the school halls bare foot with some type of drawing that you drew on them from being bored in class. Peter always thought that little quirk was cute. He could actually see a little tattoo on the side of your foot, but couldn't make it out in that moment. In fact when he looked closer, he saw that both your feet looked slightly different from each other. He wasn't quite sure, but it seemed the foot with the tattoo seemed somewhat off. He just wasn't sure what was different.

His voice finally decided to make an appearance. "Hey... again..." It didn't come out as strong as he wanted it to, but it came out enough for her to hear.

"How are you?" You asked him.

"Uh..." He didn't have anything to say. He just gave an awkward nod and a generic 'ok'. He wasn't ready to talk. You backed off and looked at the group as a whole once more.

"Oh um... everyone. This is my fiancé, (f/n)" you said stepping back and introducing your now future husband. Peter's face immediately dropped. His eyes widened and he looked back and forth between you and your fiancé in an almost panicked state. He couldn't believe it. You had found someone else. You had left him.

"Hi, everyone." (f/n) smiled and waved and shook everyone's hand, except Peter who didn't even attempt to raise his hand. His face now stared wide eyed at your fiancé who waited patiently for his hand in return. Mae nudged Peter's arm and he blinked a couple of times in realization and took (f/n)'s hand to shake. "Oh yeah um sorry... it's nice to meet you." He says politely trying to cover up how frazzled he was for a moment.

"Well, everyone. Why don't you come inside?" You say and step to the side allowing everyone to filter into your home.

"Wow... fancy." Happy says looking around at stuff.

"Happy, you knew I lived here." You say unamused.

"I've never seen the inside, though." He commented back.

"So how long have you lived here?" Mae asks looking at the light fixtures.

"3 years or so now." You say watching them. "I know it's much different than that dingy apartment I was at before."

"Yeah um.... How did you get a place like this?" Peter asks quietly.

"Uh well... with my new job and the housing being cheaper from the blip and-"

"Tony bought it." Happy commented bluntly cutting you off.

You sighed. "Yes. Tony bought and designed it for me. My job at SHIELD lets me be able to pay for it."

"You work at SHIELD?" peter asks glancing back at you.

"Yes. Head of the entire global security and protection program. Also, I'm a public advocate for the international super powered and mutated community." You say with a bit of pride.

"Wow that sounds like a very high position." Mae says.

"It can be, I suppose." You shrug your shoulders.

"You've certainly come a long way since you were young." Mae says a little sad.

"I think everyone who was left here during the blip has. It just depends on if they came a long way for the better or worse. That depends on the person." You state glancing at Happy. "Right, Happy?"

"Yeah. There's been a lot of people who dropped over the edge since that, but also a lot of people who've thrived since then. We've seen it all." Happy says skeptically looking at one of the vases you had on your counter. You walked over and took the vase from Happy's hands. "Why don't we all sit down before you break something." You says putting the vase back down where it was.

"Where did you get that? It's hideous." Happy says moving towards the sofa.

"It came with the house." You stated.

"Why'd you keep it?" Happy says scrunching up his nose.

"Don't worry about it." You say ushering him to the couch.

"I happen to like it. I think it's... unique." Mae says admiring it from afar as she sat next to Happy and Peter on one of the sofas. You and (f/n) sat across from them on the other. He gave them each glasses of water in case they got thirsty. You hadn't seen him even go into the kitchen to get them.

"Oh yeah... I mean... if you look at it that way then I guess it's pretty nice." Happy says backtracking and taking a pert sip of the water he was just given. Your eyes furrow as you look between Happy and Mae. You glance at Peter who also seems confused at the interaction.

"Okay...so Happy. What were you doing at the Parker residence?" you ask Happy with a smirk.

"Oh you know. Just checking in. See how Peter is doing." Happy says not so casually.

"I see." You say as your eyes look back at Peter. "So, Peter."

"Huh?" he asks a little startled by my turn of attention to him. The water in his cup sloshing at the sudden movement. "How are you doing?"

"Oh um... okay, I guess." He responds nodding. That was it. The entire highlight of the conversation between us for the rest of the time. The rest of the time he and you both remained quiet and only spoke when spoken too. You were hurt. He was hurt. You could tell. Not only because you know him, but because teenagers tend to have less of a poker face when they're upset. No matter how hard they try to hide it, it usually slips through that they are emotional in that moment. You have learned to control that side of you a lot better. You are no longer that emotional and even if you were, you've learned to hide it a lot better. Your face remains impassive, but you sit there thinking that perhaps he doesn't need impassive. He needs something to know that you are feeling much of the same feelings he is feeling. You just don't know what to say.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you two meet?" Mae asks setting her glass on the coffee table in front of us. Peter's attention becomes more alert at the question. It was obvious he was wondering the same thing. Just when did this happen?

"Oh no. I don't mind. I suppose that is one of the big elephant questions in the room." You say a little nervously.

"We met in physical therapy. We had the same Therapist and she brought all her patients together for group stretching once a week. It was something that was set up through a volunteer group for people with superpowers and mutations. I can't exactly remember the name, but it was group that helped with the devastation after the snap. They helped clean up and got people out of crisis and arranged for a lot of the people with powers who were injured to receive medical attention and physical therapy from medical professionals that had mutations of some sort as to not expose us or risk exploitation. Do you remember the volunteer organization's name?" (f/n) asked looking at me.

"It wasn't an organization. It was a school, I believe. Dr. Xavier ran the school. He's quite the man. I talk to him every now and again, but I haven't heard from him quite a while. He's part of the reason I got my foot in the door for advocating for those with superpowers or mutants as they call them." You state.

"Interesting. What were you going to physical therapy for?" Mae asked. "Or what I mean is, what happened?"

"Well I was on a train in New York with my sister and mother when people starting dusting away. I suppose the conductor was one of those people because our train never stopped and crashed full force into one of the buildings and derailed us from the tracks over a bridge, it sent us crashing into the streets. My mother died on impact, but I was able to protect my sister with my body. I can turn my body into different materials, so I was able to keep most of the things away from her and she just had a couple of broken bones, but I didn't move fast enough because I got a metal rod straight through the chest. It broke right near my sternum. I had no clue why or how I was still alive. I thought I was going to die in there for sure until some of the students from that school showed up." (f/n) unbuttoned his shirt half way to show the large star like shaped scar right in the center of his chest.

"That's awesome..." Happy muttered looking in awe at his scar before getting nudged in the shoulder by Mae. "I mean terrible. Truly terrible. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Yes, that's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you." Mae says sympathetically.

(f/n) chuckled and buttoned his shirt back up. "No, don't worry about it. These types of things make us stronger right? And I do agree with Happy. I think my scar is pretty awesome." He patted his chest proudly. You smiled in amusement and gave slight chuckle.

"...and you?" Peter's soft voice piped up after a moment. Everyone looked at him. He was looking at you. You weren't really sure what he was trying to ask you. He glanced at everyone before licking his lips and trying again to clarify. "Uh um. What I mean is what happened to you... as well? Why were you in, you know, physical therapy?"

"Oh. I was actually in Africa fighting in battle." You sated simply.

"You were a part of the Battle of Wakanda?" Peter asks sitting up straighter now.

You smiled a bit and let out a breathy laugh. "Yeah. It was like pulling teeth to convince Steve to let me, but yeah. I was. It was a savage alien that bit and clawed into my leg and that started the problems, but it was a female servant of Thanos that actually took my leg. Cut it clean off with swords she had."

"Oh my god. That's horrible." Mae exclaimed and Peter's eyes traveled to your foot once more. That's why your foot looked so off. It was a prosthetic. Peter thought it looked too real to be a prosthetic, but too fake to be real. You were able to walk so seamlessly though. Like you never lost your leg at all.

"Not as horrible as for her. When Natasha found out she was absolutely pissed. She and one of the Wakanda guards kicked her ass." You laughed outwardly. Peter saw the old you come out all of a sudden and all at once. He smiled brightly. "And then what happened?" he asked.

"They sent her ass through her own giant alien sawblade that they tried to kill us with!" You were full blown laughing now. The memory had you almost in tears because of how convenient and karmic the whole thing was. If you remembered correctly you remember yourself laughing in that moment as well. Despite nearly being dead in a ditch and bleeding out uncontrollably, you were still verbally shouting out cheers of praise to Nat as she fought and when she came to quickly bandage you up to stop the bleeding. You remembered Nat replying to you "Shut up, kid or I'll leave you here instead. All that shouting is going to make you pass out anyway." Funny enough she wasn't too far off the target because it wasn't long after she told you that did you fall unconscious from blood loss and woke up with a sweet new robotic vibranium prosthetic leg in Wakanda's medical ward.

"So, if she cut your leg off what happened next." Peter asked now interested in the story.

"Nat bandaged me up, I passed out, and I woke up with a sweet new robotic leg in Wakanda's medical ward. After I was healed enough I was transferred to Xavier's school where I sharpened my powers and did physical therapy along with the others. Once I was healed, Tony came back from outer space. Once he was recovered he told us everything and eventually upgraded my leg. Now it looks almost like I never lost a leg. Well, sort of. It still looks a bit off and it glitches every now and again, but I'm not complaining. I can still walk so." You shrugged now crossing your leg over the other and folding your arms over your chest.

"Wow. That's really cool." Peter said breathlessly. He seemed to admire you so much more. You knew you were now Tony Stark, but it was nice to have those admiring eyes directed towards you for once. The type of eyes that didn't hold romantic feelings, but still held the belief that everything you did was cool and amazing.

"Thank you, Peter." You smiled.

"So when are you two getting married?" Happy asks randomly and taking a gulp of water.

*smash*

The glass in Peter's hand immediately smashes in his palm. Everyone makes a noise in surprise at the sudden sound and turn to Peter. "Oh! Uh... I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I'll... I'll clean it up." Peter says getting down on the floor to clean it up.

"Peter, your hand." You gasp setting your cup down. His hand started bleeding from all the glass shards that decided to embed themselves into his skin.

"Oh um..." Peter's face flushed a bright red. He couldn't help but feel intense embarrassment about the situation.

"Don't worry about the glass. I got it. You go with (y/n) and get your hand all patched up, okay?" (f/n) says already standing to go and get the broom.

"Yeah, come on, Peter. I have a first aid kit in the kitchen." You say standing up and helping him to his feet. You held his arm as he kept his hand underneath his injured one, hoping to catch the blood so it wouldn't get onto your carpet. You walked him to the kitchen. "Just put your hand over the sink and I'll be there in a moment."

"Okay." Peter says doing what you asked as you began to rummage around the medicine cabinet. Peter began to run his hand under a bit of water as you came back with the first aid kit. You first got some tweezers and a dish towel and dragged 2 chairs over so we could sit. You first sat down and put the dish towel across your lap. Peter then sat down and you gently grabbed his hand and set it in your lap while looking closely at it. "Nothing bad it looks like. Obviously nothing the Amazing Spiderman can't handle." You joke looking at him with a smile and he smiles back with an awkward laugh.

A silence falls over you both as you begin to focus on plucking the tiny shards from his hand. You didn't notice how the air got thicker and you certainly didn't notice how things got increasingly more difficult for Peter to stomach. He stared at you the entire time and the longer he did the more his heart broke. You didn't notice how his straight face slowly broke until you saw a few tear drops fall onto the surface of the hand you were working on and you heard a choked back sob. You looked up and saw his face as he turned away. You set the towel with glass pieces aside and held his hand. You knew he wasn't crying because of his hand or if there was a possibility you hurt him. He was much tougher than that. You also knew you couldn't physically hurt him even if you wanted to. His powers made it easier for him to handle a lot more than a regular human. No, his pain was internal. His kind soft heart was bursting with pain. "Peter..." you said softly with a frown.

"I... I miss you." He said finally with his head down and his chest heaved. "I miss you so much."

This is where your heart broke and you couldn't even keep your composure anymore. You hugged Peter and you hugged him tight. You hugged him like how you wanted to hug him the day you found out that he was one of the victims of the Snap. You hugged him like he would dust away again. You hugged him like he would leave you again, but this time not come back. And you cried. Oh, you cried like you should have when you first saw him again. You cried as you were finally getting the closure you wanted. It was five years, but you had him in your arms again and you couldn't be more grateful. "I miss you, too."

"First I lost Mr. Stark and now you..." he began crying harder now. He drops to his knees on the floor and his face goes to your lap.

"That's not true. I'm right here." I told him holding him tighter.

"But you're not mine anymore. You're his... and it only seems like just a few months ago you were at my house and we were playing video games and listening to music." Peter said getting his voice more.

"But it wasn't a few months ago. It's been years, Peter." You tell him stroking his hair.

"I know... but... it's just not fair!" he says gripping the fabric of your dress around your thighs tight in his balled fists.

"I know, I know it's not fair." You tell him as more tears fell from your eyes.

"If... if he wasn't there... If you weren't getting married, would you wait for me?" he asked quietly. You pressed your lips together. This was a very heavy question. It wouldn't change the outcome of how things were now no matter how you answered, but it could change the way Peter thought about things and how your relationship would be from here on out. You had to answer carefully. Either he could be angry with you and refuse to have contact with you, or he could have a false sense of hope and closure all depending on how you answered his question. You just hated to see him so upset and you wanted to give in, but you also could not lie to him either. If you ever loved him then you would not lie to him, even now.

"No, Peter." I told him gently petting his hair. His body tensed at the words. "Look at me."

He didn't move, so you shifted your body away slightly and lifted his chin up, so he would look at you. "Peter, I want you to listen to me. I want you to really hear what I am trying to tell you."

He looks at you with his tear stained face, but he does what you ask. "What happened to us is cruel and unfair, but it did happen. This whole situation is hard to swallow and seeing you like this kills me. Seeing your face for the first time when you came back and realizing you didn't grow up with me was one of the hardest things I had to come to terms with because I immediately realized that we couldn't work. I think it was even harder for me when I realized that when you came back, you had no idea what had happened and you thought we were still together like always. I found it difficult when I saw the reality hit you when you looked at me for the first time at Tony's funeral. I still care deeply for you, but you are still a child, Peter. You blipped. I didn't. I mourned and moved on. I know that when you become in your twenties it won't really be a big deal anymore with the age gap, but that's nearly 10 years of my life waiting for you. That's 10 years of my life halted and stagnant. That's also nearly 5 years of your life wasted waiting on me when you also need to move on. I'm sorry, but it won't be healthy if you wait for me."

He doesn't say anything for a long while. He just sets his head back down in your lap as he thinks over what you just told him. I don't mind, however. You said what you had to. You couldn't lie to him. It wasn't the adult or right thing to do. You had to just rip the band aid off. It seemed we sat there for a while. I knew the others were giving us our privacy. We all knew this dinner was really just to break the news to Peter that our relationship wouldn't work and hoping we could still be okay afterwards.

"Do you love him?" he asked quietly, his voice breaking a bit.

"Yes." You answered back.

"Did you love me?"

"Yes."

"Do you still love me?"

"Yes."

"But... not the same way..." he sighed.

"...No... not in the same way." You tell him gently.

"I... I suppose that's okay." He muttered, even if he didn't like his own answer.

"Thank you, Peter." You say with a smile looking down at him.

"For what?" he asks looking up at you.

"For understanding, for not being angry, for being a good person, for doing the right thing for yourself and I, ... and for just giving me some of the best moments of my life being with you." You tell him happily.

"O-oh. No problem." He says now getting back up off the floor and going to his feet.

You follow suit. His face was still tear stained, but he didn't have complete dread in his eyes anymore.

"It's going to take a while for me to get over you." He says looking at the ground.

"I know it will because it took me awhile. (f/n) was very patient with me." You tell him before thought came into her head. "Peter, I know this is too soon, but may I point you in a direction of people to consider giving a chance?"

"Um... okay?" He didn't seem too comfortable, but he was open to hear what she suggested.

"You know Michelle Jones that was in our class, right? I believe she just went by MJ."

"MJ?" Peter thought taking it into consideration.

#spiderman #peter parker #tom holland #xreader #infinity war #endgame #marvel #tony stark #black widow #steve rogers #hawkeye

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looselucy · 5 years

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Eye of the Storm

January 15th I’d invited Libby around with every intention of cooking for her, talking through things, and the two having a nice evening together. She’d been there for all of twenty minutes, and the two of us were laying side by side on my bed, half asleep.

“Don’t fall asleep.” She grumbled, sounding like she was already asleep, my eyes closed as I groaned. “I’m bloody tired though.” “Mm. Same. I’ve still gotta do a shift at work. Can’t be arsed.” The gentle rain tapping against the window didn’t help the situation. It was soothing, the sky dark and my lamp barely giving a glow to my bedroom. Everything seemed to be encouraging slumber. But I knew it wouldn’t last. As tired as we were, Libby wanted answers about what had happened on Saturday night, and I’d sort of implied that I would give her those answers. It was much easier said than done. I had zero plans about telling her what had been going on with me and Harry for the past few months, why I believed he was as protective of me as he was, why he’d felt the desire to go after Sam in the way he had, but I did plan on telling her about the lessons he’d been giving me, and the events that had lead me to ask him for those one on one sessions in the first place. “Did you speak to Louis?” She asked. I opened one eye, hating the chime of hope in her voice, because it said to me that the more she’d thought about it, the more she’d realised what she actually wanted, what she’d wanted him to say, what the two of them really meant to one another. I took a deep breath in, my nerves so obvious in my inhale that she opened her eyes. I could see how uneasy she was. “He… He doesn’t wanna ruin anything.” I told her. “He said… He enjoyed the kiss, and that there’s chemistry, but… I don’t think he wants it be anything more than that. M’sorry.” “What? Don’t be sorry.” She was faking her ease over the situation, brushing it off, huffing, tutting. “That’s fine! I told you I didn’t even know what I wanted. I’m fine! I feel the same, that’s fine. I’m totally fine with that.” I subconsciously poked my bottom lip out, which probably made her even more defensive, which was the opposite of what I wanted. I didn’t want to open up the idea I’d had that Louis was snubbing his own feelings, doing the sensible thing that his head desired rather than listening to the wants and needs of his heart. I didn’t want to tell her I’d picked up on vibes that there really was this part of him that wanted more, because I didn’t want to give her any false hope. I could have been wrong, seeing things that weren’t there, so I didn’t want to plant a seed for it not to grow into something beautiful. “Why’re you looking at me like that?” She bolted, propping herself up and glaring at me. “I’m fine.” “I’m not looking at you like anything!” I cried. “You’re fine, I hear ya!” “He’s right. That’s good! I don’t wanna ruin anything either. It’s best to… leave it be. This is good. That’s what I wanted, definitely.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, whatever. Good. Fine. That’s literally what I wanted to happen.” “So what happened to wanting to… get him drunk and kiss him again?” “Yeah, that was the idea on Saturday, but then Harry punched Sam right in the damn face and messed up my plan for the evening, to be honest.” Her eyes were wide, probably glad to have such an easy way to change the conversation. “So c’mon! I don’t wanna talk about me and Louis anymore, I wanna talk about whatever the hell happened between those two and why it happened.” Of course she wanted to steer the discussion elsewhere, and it wasn’t that the topic of her and Louis was something I wanted to stick with, but it definitely seemed more appealing than talking about Harry and Sam. I rolled my eyes and turned to face the ceiling, resting my hand on my forehead. “God, where do I start?” “With why the hell Harry would do that, preferably.” I wished I’d done what I usually did with situations like that and asked Louis to share the news on my behalf, so I didn’t have to have this conversation. I was kicking myself for that. “It’s because… Sam… Urgh. So… Okay. It was after we’d broken up, just before he left, he came round to mine. He was off his face and he… He-” “Hurt you?” She prompted, remembering both Sam’s and Harry’s words from Saturday night. “Yeah. In my own fucking home. He went after me in my own fucking home just because I wouldn’t kiss him.” “I’ll fucking kill him.” “Yep. So that’s why Harry… did what he did.” “Okay, rude that Harry’s known about this for however many months and I’m only just learning about it.” She huffed, and I giggled. “What’s that about?” “I went to him asking for extra classes.” “What? Why?” “Because I didn’t do anything!” I wailed, sitting up to face her. “Sam had me… up against the fucking wall, scared out of my mind, and I didn’t do anything.” I could feel myself getting worked up, close to tears. “I just froze up, and I hated it. I felt so weak and horrible, and everything Harry’s taught us… I couldn’t do it. It messed with my head so much, it was horrible, Libby. It was so fucking horrible.” “Oh, Alf, I’m sorry.” She seemed upset, and I hated that. Libby didn’t get like that, she wasn’t emotional that way, she didn’t get like that often. This was one of the many reasons I’d been avoiding this exact interaction, because seeing her getting upset only made me cry more than I already had been. “I trusted him.” I lay my hand on my chest. “I knew our relationship hadn’t been good, but… I didn’t think he’d do that. I trusted him, and he shattered it, and I couldn’t do anything other than be fucking scared. It’s pathetic.” “It’s not pathetic!” She fought. “It’s the opposite. It’s you still having a conscience and not stooping to his level, that’s what it is. You care about him and you couldn’t hurt him in the way he hurt you, and that’s not a bad thing.” “It is a bad thing, Lib! Of course it is. If someone attacks me in my own home, I shouldn’t care whoever the fuck it is. I should be able to stand up for myself, no matter what, and I didn’t. I couldn’t. And I’m more haunted by that, than I am with what he did to me. I felt so weak, so I went to Harry. I didn’t even… I didn’t even say it was Sam, he just knew.” “Seriously?” She seemed amazed. “I would have never thought he’d… get aggressive like that. How the hell did Harry know?” “I dunno. I guess… Sam always showed his worst side when Harry was around. That’s all Harry saw of him.” “That’s true, fair point.” She sighed. “So he gave you extra classes?” “Yeah. He’s… He was amazing. He’s been amazing, and really lovely and supportive and… I dunno.” Talking about Harry made my heart ache, especially in such a positive way. My head was a total mess because I’d been consistently attempting to make sure he was not the most dominant thought I had, to make sure he wasn’t my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. I was failing. “Fuck, no wonder he snapped.” Libby finally understood Harry’s reaction to seeing Sam. “I did not expect him to be like that though.” “Me neither.” “He must be really protective of you.” “I think he’s like that with everyone. I think he’s just… a very caring person.” “Hm. I guess so, but that’s next level. Have you like, gotten close? In your classes with him?” I looked down to the bedsheets, clutching and playing with them between my fingers, wishing I knew how to reply to that, wishing I knew whether we were close or whether I’d merely convinced myself we were. I shook my head, defeated, sad. “Not really.” I answered.

I had been stood by my bedroom window for almost half an hour, watching the skies, my chest heaving, mind racing, gnawing at my bottom lip until it was practically swollen. I could see lightning tearing through the clouds, roaring and threatening our tiny village. All I could think of was Harry. I wanted it to stop. It was quite late, and I’d been stood watching the skies create malevolent light just praying it would end, so then I wouldn’t have to worry, I wouldn’t feel so trapped, I wouldn’t feel like my whole body was being set alight, burning up and making my insides whir. It wasn’t stopping. “Fuck. C’mon, please.” I begged to the skies. “Please stop.” I kept picturing him, imagining what he was going through, recalling how he’d been when I’d witnessed his distress during the last thunderstorm we’d had. Things were far too complicated between us. I hadn’t seen him since the fight on Saturday night, and I hadn’t wanted to see him, not really. I missed him, and I wished things could be simple between us, and in that sense, I was desperate to see him, but things weren’t that simple. Not seeing him was good, not being around him and falling for him even further was good. I needed the space, and I’d wanted as much of it as physically possible, but picturing him in his home, terrified, lonely, it felt morally wrong to sit there and do absolutely nothing. I didn’t know whether or not my comforts had helped the last time, but he’d let me stay and he’d held my hand and we’d shared a bed, and that was enough of a sign for me to believe company was better for him than his solitude was. I couldn’t help myself. “Fuck this.” I was out the door in seconds, taking nothing with me, not even having the sense to put on a coat to protect me from the harsh weather, I was in too much of a rush. I needed to get to him. Nothing else mattered. I ran. From my place to his, I ran, the rain soaking me through and the lighting feeling as though it was meeting the ground only inches away from me. It had never bothered me before, not really, but I understood his fear. I could make sense of why it affected him, maybe not to the full extent, but even being outside in it gave me a feeling of complete unease. It had its own presence, a power, an energy beyond anything else. The pathway down to his home was incredibly dark, making what was an already trying journey even more ominous, but at least the trees had stopped the rain from soaking me through. His home had never seemed like more of a haven than it did then. Not only did I want that blatant protection that came with being indoors during storms like that, but he was there, and I’d never wanted to see him more. He was the haven I was searching, and I hoped that I could be his. I bolted up onto his porch, tugging at his door handle expecting it to be locked, then unbelievably grateful to see it wasn’t. “HARRY?” I called as soon as I was indoors, slamming the door behind me. “HARRY, IT’S ME, WHERE ARE YOU?” Rushing, verging on hysterical, I glanced through into his living room, seeing it was empty, and then I went straight upstairs, breathless, tripping up once before I found my feet again, running straight to his bedroom, trusting my gut. That’s where I found him. He was crouched down in the corner of his room, right next to the window, between all the plants, in his boxers and nothing else, head between his knees, fingers wound in his hair. I wondered if he found some sort of comfort being surrounded by those plants. I’d expected to walk in and see that he’d buried himself beneath his duvet to block it out, but instead he’d weaved his way between the leaves and lodged himself in the very corner of the room. I darted over to him, lacing around the plants so I could fall to my knees directly in front of him, tears in my eyes. “M'sorry, I’m here.” I gasped, though he still hadn’t lifted his head to see me. “I’m here, it’s okay.” He let out a sob, but then he reached for me, searching for my touch. I took his hand in mine, our fingers locking together tightly. Every inch of his body was trembling, and I could see the tears falling from his eyes and landing on his legs, his grip impossibly taut. I didn’t have any words, nothing to summon upon the situation to make it any better, but at least I was there. Staying at home and allowing him to battle his demon alone was not an option. It wasn’t any easier this second time around. If anything, it was worse. We were both so powerless, all we had was each other. All we had was the touch of our skin, the grasp we had on each other, and the trust we shared. I couldn’t foresee the relationship we’d have in the coming weeks, months, years. I couldn’t even begin an attempt to visualise our future, but I did know that there was a trust there, a bond we’d created over the past few months that went beyond any argument, any secret, any fear. “When will it stop?” He bawled. “It won’t stop.” “It’s gunna stop soon, I promise.” I sounded so assertive, in spite of how unsure I really was. “I-I don’t even know if you want me here, but-” “NO, don’t leave.” His panic over the thought of me leaving him on his own was what made him lift his head, snapping his neck upwards and then yanking me closer to him, altering his body so that he could drag me to him, right between his legs, still on my knees, our foreheads soon meeting. “Please don’t leave me, please.” “Okay, okay. Shh, shh, I’m here.” I whispered, reaching to clutch his cheek, wiping away his tears. “I won’t go, I promise. I’ll stay for as long as you need.” In moments like that, where I was feeling so helpless, so concerned, I would have stayed forever if he’d asked me to. As tenderly as I could, I caressed my thumb continuously against his cheek, wiping his tears away as much as I could, convinced that he was soothing to a certain degree, but I imagined that was purely wishful thinking. I kept wondering whether I should suggest we get in bed, hide beneath the duvet as though that would save him, but I imagined he’d chosen that spot purposefully. There must have been something about being within that greenery that made him feel as protected and sheltered as he possibly could. He had his head facing downwards, his eyes gripped shut, but I barely blinked. I kept my eyes on him, witnessing his torture, still not breathing properly. Another bolt hit the floor, lurid, loud, and he winced, his legs tightening against my shoulders, keeping our bodies close, mine constricted by his. “I’m so sorry this is happening.” I finally released a garish sob, my body aching with this unparalleled longing to protect him. “I’m so sorry this happens to you. I hate seeing you like this, it kills me. It fucking kills me.” I broke, weeping ruthlessly, immobilised and helpless and weak. Seeing him so feeble and the sensation of what that did to me was just another reminder of how profound my feelings were, how much I cared for the boy, and that made the ache over the experience even more severe. I felt so trapped in my own emotions. Of course I wanted to be there for him, care for him, be whatever he needed to be whenever he needed it. But then being around him just made things even more difficult, made even the thought of moving on from him and getting over him seem outright impossible. My heart was at war with itself, and in those moments, I felt that no matter the outcome, the battle would surely be lost. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. The storm didn’t seem to be letting up, which meant that Harry was still rigid with fear, still weeping quietly, and the sight was truly scarring. “I can’t do this anymore.” He howled lowly. “I… I can’t.” “If I could do more, I would. I’d do anything, I…” I sighed, dropping my head further. “I-I’m sorry.” I felt so lost, so disconcerted, not sure what I could say to him. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable and continue to put him in a difficult position, but I was struggling even being around him without being overly affectionate, showing him how fond I was in ways that could have made him feel worse, and I didn’t want that. But it was clear he wanted me there, for whatever reason. And I wanted to stay.

We’d been completely silent for a long time. Somehow, we’d ended up in his bed together. I had my head on his chest, watching out of the window, scowling at the rain that tapped against the glass, as though I thought the storm might sneak up on us once again, harm him once again. He was running his fingers through my hair, his actions on loop. He was calm again, quiet, either soothed by his repetitive actions, or hoping to soothe me. Maybe it was both. I’d managed to pull him to his feet when we hadn’t heard any thunder for quite a while, leading him over to his bed, our hands not having parted the entire time. Dazed, he’d practically fallen into his bed, and that was when I thought our night would end, that was when I thought our touches would break. I thought we’d part ways, but he hadn’t let it happen. He'd kept my hand in his, even tightening his grip, and he’d basically pulled me into the bed with him, without a word shared. It must have been almost an hour since that had happened, and neither of us had said anything. I really didn’t feel like there was much we could say. I could hear the faint beat of his heart, and that felt like enough. I liked being there with him, even with that silence and the overwhelming aspect of what I’d shared with him at the beginning of the year. Being around him, being in his bed, being close to him, it all felt so right. I suppose it was nice to be around him and be completely calm, because it felt as though it had been such a long time since we’d had that. There had been arguments, tears, traumas, tensions, and it was good to be around him and just breathe, absorb his aura and nothing else. We’d needed that peace. We’d needed to feel so still around each other, because we hadn’t been that way for far too long. I felt okay. My eyes were still gazing forward, feeling weary, when Harry broke the silence. “I… I used to stand out in thunderstorms with my dad.” He mumbled quietly. “He said he liked the way they made him feel. And I guess… it felt like it… it was the only time I ever saw him feel anything.” I twisted by body so that I could face him fully, take him in fully, because it was happening. He was about to open up to me and I knew it. It was finally happening and I barely knew what to do with myself. He was looking down towards his feet rather than at me, not at ease, but he was trying, and I knew that soon he would feel so much better. I nodded, encouraging more. “He was… He was so ill.” He brought his eyes to mine. “I… I don’t really have any memories of him being happy. He just couldn’t… He couldn’t… Fuck. He- I’m…” “It’s okay.” I whispered gently. “Take your time.” He'd gotten worked up quickly, his chest jolting and his breath jutting, struggling to talk, which didn’t surprise me. All I wanted, was to be calm, approachable, not scare him off. He needed to take his time and do this properly, because I imagined this was a pain he’d been dealing with on his own for years. I had to view it as an honour, that he was willing to talk to me, and I needed to handle it in the best way I could. He took a few moments, closing his eyes, steadying his breath. “He was so ill, and so depressed, that… it was like he was never really there. He was so absent all the time, like… he was a stranger in his own body. But I remember when the weather got like this, he’d just wanna stand in it, take it in, feel something. So I used to go with him. He’d hold my hand and look up to the sky and just… embrace it. And I just used to stare up to him, because… it felt like the only time I got to see him actually be able to… make sense of what he was feeling.” I think I was in a state of shock, and he’d only just begun sharing himself. But this wasn’t something small, this wasn’t a tiny detail he was divulging just to tide me over. What he sharing with me was significant, so much so I already had tears in my eyes. “We tried so hard, for so long. We did everything we could, to try and… make him feel better, for him to… be able to be happy and manage his illness in the best way he could, but… it didn’t work. Nothing worked.” He wiped away a tear quickly. “And he did everything he could, too. I think him and my mum thought that having kids, and him being a dad… I think they thought that would save him, and give him this new purpose, and it would… be this amazing thing for him that helped him feel better. But I think that was… simplifying it too much. You can’t belittle a mental illness like that, you can’t think of it as something that can just be fixed, by someone or something. It’s more than that. There’s no fucking quick fix, and I think my mum knew that, deep down, but…” I reached for his hand once again, our fingers linking up, slotting together perfectly. I couldn’t begin to imagine the struggle they’d faced. Someone’s mentality is so difficult to understand, and even talking to professionals or researching can be so ineffective, because it’s impossible to feel exactly what someone else is feeling, to completely understand exactly how their brain works. It isn’t an illness where you can scan a body to spot the symptoms, operate on it, cut it out and know the exact process. It’s different for every single person, varied through every heart and every mind. You can do everything you can for another person, try to heal them with every inch of your being, but in some cases, the pain can run too deep, so far out of everyone’s control. There was no one to blame, but I could tell even from the tone of his voice, that Harry and his family had found a way of blaming themselves. “And then one day, I’d been… playing out with my brother, and then it started to thunder. We fucking ran home, we couldn’t wait to see him. We were so excited to see him just… smiling, anything. We went home, and… I remember watching my brother open the door to the hallway leading to the stairs and he… froze. He completely froze. I-I went to try and see what it was but, he pushed me away. He backed me into the corner of our living room and put me on the floor and just covered my body with his. I was… ten, but I knew. I fucking knew and I was shaking so much and my brother just… He was just crying out for my mum, and I kept asking what he’d seen. I kept asking him over and over again but I fucking knew.” His skin was reddening, body quaking. “And I shouldn’t have even understood that, when I was so young, but I did. I knew that he’d found our dad and I knew that he’d…” I could tell from the way he was that his memories of that day were still crystal clear in his mind. He broke, resting his hand over his eyes as though trying to block the images. His tears were heavier, and he could no longer fight them. “My dad couldn’t see any other way out, and he… He hung himself, and my brother was the one who had to find him. He was twelve. How the fuck can anyone get over something like that?” I covered my mouth with my hand, unable to even comprehend that pain they’d gone through, not only with their years of battling his depression at his side, but that experience alone. I couldn’t even imagine the strength his brother had to intentionally hide Harry from that additional pain of seeing the way their father had chosen to take his own life. Thunderstorms had once been such a positive thing for him, something he anticipated, because he got to see his father actually feel something, experience real emotions. I couldn’t imagine how much it haunted them, not only that they’d been happy to see the storm that day, that they’d been running home to see him, but knowing his father was in atmosphere that made him as happy as he possibly could be, and that was still the time when he decided to end his suffering. He stopped it, in the only way he thought he could. Even his very happiest, was not enough. “And whenever the weather gets like this… it’s like I’m ten again.” He told me, dropping his hand and looking me in the eye. “It takes me right back to that moment, that feeling. I get so scared, and it’s like I can’t fucking breathe, like I’m… being crushed. I can see it all and hear it all and I’m right there and I hate it. I can’t get past it.” He winced, squeezing my hand. “All we wanted to do was save him, and we couldn’t. We did everything, and it wasn’t enough. And I feel like I’ve spent my whole fucking life trying to make up for that. I’ve been trying to make things right, but I can’t.” “It wasn’t your fault.” I gasped shakily. “It’s no one’s fault.” “But what if we could’ve done more? I would’ve looked after him every day for the rest of my life if that was what he needed, so why did he feel that alone? Why was that his answer? What if there was more that we could’ve done, but we didn’t?” “That kind of thing… it’s out of all control, Harry.” I spoke desperately, praying that he’d hear me, that some of the guilt that had been tied around his neck since he was ten years old would loosen, lift away, free him. “It was out of his control, and it was definitely out of yours. You were a child! How could you even understand that? You can’t blame yourself for what happened.” “But-” “You couldn’t have done more.” “You don’t know that.” “I do! Even from the way you’re talking, I do.” I fought, confident in my words. “No one could have expected more from any of you. I can tell from the way you are that you did everything you could for him, and I know he loved you so much. He might not have been able to say it, but I know he appreciated everything you did for him. You were what helped him fight for all those years.” He nodded weakly, truly trying to imbibe the things I was saying to him. Harry suddenly made sense to me in ways he never had before. His caring nature, how fixated and almost obsessive he became when it came to other people taking care of themselves, dealing with their emotions, being open and honest. It was even evident with the plants he’d placed in his bedroom; he had told me they were there because he liked having something to look after, and now I could see why. He was always looking to care for people in the ways he wished he could still be doing for his father. He was compensating for the way things had been when he was too young to fully understand what was happening. He was trying to make amends with his own soul and his false, misplaced culpability, and it had driven his life completely. Everything from his classes to his bedroom décor, was based around a guilt he never should have felt in the first place, a longing to do what he could for others who were struggling. “You can’t blame yourself for someone being ill.” I became gentle. “You don’t deserve to feel like this.” I wondered if he was even aware of how much it all affected him. It was rather clear he knew it had influenced his life choices, but I wondered if he was fully aware of how detrimental it had been when it came to his own emotions, his own struggles to share and be honest about how heavy his heart was, and had been for the majority of his life. He knew how to help others, but he had no idea how to help himself. “It’s okay to talk about this.” I said. “It’s good to talk about it.” “It doesn’t feel it.” He whimpered. “But it will.” I managed to smile through tears. “I promise, it will.” I didn’t want to turn the conversation around on me, even as a reflection of his current situation, because Harry had been homing this hurt for so many years, that night and that moment deserved to be his and his alone. But before he’d come to our village and learnt about what had happened to my mother, I had shut it out for years. Of course, it was nothing compared to the time he had spent sheltering his troubles, but he had been the one who made me feel okay about talking, dealing with it. Those initial moments felt impossible, gut-wrenching, but the aftermath of facing my demons had been beyond liberating. He had that to come, and I knew that. And the reason I knew that, was largely thanks to him. “Fuck.” I dropped my head. “I don’t want this to be hard for you, I really don’t. And I don’t want you to feel like I… pushed you into this, or-” “That’s not how I feel.” He spoke calmly. I lifted my head hesitantly, brushing some hair from my face, spotting that he seemed to now be breathing at a regular pace. “It’s not?” “C’mere.” He ticked his head back, ushering me to him. I moved closer, shuffling a little further up the bed so he could take my jaw within his hand, brushing over my cheek with his thumb. The contact made my stomach wind, closing my eyes and nudging into his touch, wondering if he’d ever been quite so gentle with me. I reached up and wiped away his tears, his eyes locked with mine, like he was fascinated by me, like he couldn’t look away even if he tried. “I’ve never felt this close with someone before, Fee.” He spoke, after a deep breath. “Never.” Every inch of me tingled, heated, releasing this sigh that had been stuck in my chest for the past fortnight. I opened my eyes, seeing that he still had a few tears trapped in his, but he wasn’t wiping them away. He just looked at me. I turned my head, kissed at his hand, then looked back to him. “I can’t lose this.” He went on. “And I’m not telling you all of this because it’s what you need to hear, I’m telling you because… I’ve never been able to say any of this out loud, to anyone. But with you, I can. That has to mean something.” Even though I knew that saying it all out loud had hurt him, made his body sting in ways he’d never wanted to experience, he had been able to say it, and he knew how much that meant. He knew the significance of it. He trusted me. He trusted us. He trusted that feeling. “You can tell me anything. I hope you know that.” I whispered. He seemed unsure, biting briefly at his lip, but as long as he knew, and as long as he was taking steps, no matter how small, I’d be there beside him to help and watch him grow. Slowly, his grip on my jaw tightened, just the right amount so he could pull my face towards his, unhurried, serene, our lips soon landing together perfectly. I had missed kissing him. I’d missed everything about him, the good and the bad. I simply felt better being around him than I did not, and for the first time since things had started between us, I believed he felt the same way. Our mouths moved in harmony, my fingers searching through his curls as his hands moved down to grab at my waist, hitch me over to him so I could swing my leg and straddle him. I still couldn’t be too sure where we stood, what was happening between us, but there was something there that neither of us wanted to turn away from. Neither of us could stand the thought of losing what we had, and we were going to explore whatever it was. We’d attempted to turn away from it, forget it, but it hadn’t worked. You can’t simply neglect something like that, something so strong. We were drawn to one another, moth to the flame and storm to the sea. “I missed you.” I gasped against his lips, emotional, drained. I distanced from him, sitting upright and cusping my fingers at the bottom of my dress so I could pull upwards and remove it from my body with speed, bending my arms in an attempt to remove my bra before Harry reached out for me, leaning up so he could rest his hand at the back of my neck, pull me back down to him, his head landing back on the pillow, our lips so close they were just about touching, glazing over each other. “I don’t wanna sleep with you,” He told me. “I just wanna be with you.” I looked deep into his eyes, seeing more of him than I ever had before, and then nodded as I noticed how exhausted he seemed. He didn’t have it in him, and that wasn’t at all surprising considering what he’d just told me, how open he’d been about something he’d kept locked up for years. And then maybe there was that part of him that didn’t want to tie sex to an evening that was so much more than that. We’d been guising our connection with sex for so long, maybe he really did want things to be different, to feel different, to admit and accept that it was much more profound than we’d been able to acknowledge before. I kissed him again, tender and mild, still sort of in shock that he’d actually opened up to me, shared with me. There were a million things I still wished to know about him, questions that hadn’t been answered, but that didn’t matter. I had something, and more importantly, Harry’s burden had been lifted; he’d worked up the courage to share his pain and couldn’t wait until the agony of talking had passed and he could feel the liberation of it all. We kissed until my lips were swollen. We kissed until the rain stopped. We kissed until sleep was inevitable, at which point he swept me into his arms, wrapping them around my waist to make sure I remained close to him, the tips of our noses touching. My sleep was finally a peaceful one once more, and I hoped his was too.

#good luck #also this chapter has my ultime HBS song tied to it #I'll add it tonight and yell about it #HBS26 #EEEEEEEEP

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sarakuper · 5 years

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Visiting Sean’s Grandparents; Spirit Lake & Lake Park, Iowa

Stop #24, Sept 12-19

After a long [and scary] night we arrived at Spirit Lake where I could feel the nostalgia flowing from Sean. He pointed out everything in town that he had a connection with and shared stories from his childhood. We pulled in front of Sean’s grandparents house where Grandma Ghee and Grandpa Tim were waiting outside with big smiles. I was so relieved to finally be here and already felt a strong sense of comfort. I had met Ghee and Tim a few times before while going back to Omaha for an Elser Christmas and was looking forward to spending some more time with them.

We got settled in, showered, and ate some breakfast. Ghee made scotcharoos, which to me is a Christmas cookie delicacy, but now there was a fresh batch for us to enjoy all week long! I couldn’t help myself; even though we had donuts for breakfast I needed a scotcharoo too! After a little while we drove into town for a delicious lunch at Taco House around Okoboji, then drove around the lake town that Sean speaks so highly of. Being after labor day many of the seasonal activities had already come to a close as well as some shops and restaurants. I would love to come back in the heart of summer to enjoy some of that Okoboji magic!

The next morning Sean and I woke up to the most amazing smell for breakfast. Sean had mentioned how he loved Ghee’s monkey bread and POOF, it was there waiting for us for breakfast and still warm. Oh my goodness… that monkey bread was the best thing I’ve ever tasted!! Later in the day she made fresh oatmeal cookies too, and at that point I just accepted that I would put a on few [or more] pounds this week and shouldn’t bother getting back to normal eating until I leave Iowa. Because, of course, she packed up several leftovers for us to take when we leave the next day! At that point I happily accepted stretchy shorts and leggings for the next week.

Later in the day we stopped at Sean’s other grandparents home because my laptop was getting delivered that day, and in case it took longer I gave them the Iowa address we would be at latest. I got my laptop back so quickly, and its working perfectly! Wahoo! This time around the process was a lot smoother.

Sean and I shopped around town for some Kayaks hoping that an end of year sale would get us a great deal. But, with all the extra money I spent on my laptop I decided I’d rather put down a few bucks to rent a kayak when the time comes, rather than buy one right now.

The rest of our time with Ghee and Tim the five of us hung out and spent time catching up. Jaxon was so happy to be in a house with a rug where he could make any spot on the floor his own. We exchanged stories from our trip and life in general. Tim showed us his boat, which he was preparing for the trip they would leave for the next day, and shared some funny stories of Sean and his siblings going out on the boat when they were children. Ghee took out some old photos of Sean, which I especially enjoyed! He was a little Justin Bieber in his high school days!

I really enjoyed Ghee and Tim’s company and loved getting to know them more. Meanwhile, Ghee made sure to fill our bellies with such delicious goodies that even Tim felt like he was on vacation! I forgot to mention we ended every night with ice cream…

The night before Ghee and Tim left for their trip we ate Sean’s favorite for dinner, Godfathers Pizza, which I have come to somewhat enjoy. I’m still a pizza snob; its in my NY blood! But this pie really was delicious, and the four of us enjoyed our last meal together. The next day they left around 7:30am and Sean and I were so sad to say goodbye. I kept telling him how fun it was to hangout with them and that they are really good people whose company I really enjoyed. Ghee told us to stay as long as we’d like and just to lock up before we leave.

After a long lazy morning of sleeping in and eating more sweets for breakfast we finally packed up and left, getting ourselves over to Sean’s other grandparent’s house only 15 minutes away in Lake Park. Coincidentally, they were already on a vacation and were getting back in a few days. So, Sean and I had a lot of down time before actually spending time with Grandma Maxine and Grandpa John.

We spent those few days between doing a variety of things. First, we took out the side by side, AKA the ripper, for a drive all around the farm. The birds were hovering over the corn, the butterflies were fluttering, and the frogs were jumping, as was the mud running through the tires and shooting in the air. After the first ride I learned to keep my mouth closed; my face got hit with mud! The farm is beautiful and really fun to explore.

That night we logged right into netflix to binge watched The Office, our absolute favorite TV show that never gets old. We’ve watched the entire series too many times to count but never cease to find something new to laugh about in every episode. That first night we also raided the fridge and freezer and found some of Maxine’s home cooked meals that we defrosted for the night and the next.

Another day to ourselves Sean spent hours working on the truck while I switched between cleaning the trailer and getting caught up with computer work. Sean could not have been happier working in his grandpa’s machine shed. He had every tool you could possibly need, and light and shelter which meant Sean could work after sunset. It also meant he could leave his tools out and just pause his work for the night not having to clean up like he needed to when he worked in the alley behind our house.

On Sunday the 15th Sean took me to the Clay County Fair for its last day running. Maxine left us two tickets, and I was so exited to check it out! I’ve never been to fair that big, let alone in the middle of Iowa! Well, it sure was huge, and way different than the fairs they had in my home town growing up. Besides the capacity there was tons of livestock competing for who knows what, cheese curd stands, and huuuuuge tractors being sold! Sean and I ate our way through the fair starting off with a smoothie to keep it “light” but then continued to fried cheese curds, a jurassic sized corn dog, and a rib sandwich. Right after we walked through the live stock barn I was all upset about the treatment of the animals, and then we walked into The Chop Shop and had those rib sandwiches. Damn, that was the best I’ve ever had!!!!! Talk about conflicting feelings…. Once we felt sick to our stomachs from the food the heat really started to kick in and we decided to leave.

Grandma Maxine and Grandpa John arrived late Monday night from their bus trip and hung out with us as we all exchanged stories from our trips. After a good nights sleep they took us out to breakfast at their favorite diner, then we spent the afternoon learning how to play the card game Hand and Foot, an Elser favorite! The night ended with a delicious meal and warm apple pie with vanilla ice cream. Both my belly and heart were full <3

The next morning we woke up to the smell of bacon, and while Sean and I were supposed to leave right after breakfast we decided at the very last minute, since we were so comfortable and in such good company, we would stay an extra day. Maxine and I went grocery shopping while Sean continued to work on the trailer, and after a few hours of errands and work we played some more cards. I also took a walk to see the butterflies on the evergreens; there were hundreds right next to their house! It was so beautiful and peaceful to see.

Sean later took me on the swing where I felt like a child again. After a few minutes of getting air and spinning we were suddenly reminded we are not children; both of us got off feeling nauseous. Our bodies cannot tolerate being thrown into the air like they used to! Later that night had our final meal together, although Maxine sent us with lots of food to go.

It was such a pleasure to spend some quality time in Iowa with both of Sean’s grandparents and on the farm. I’ve been saying things along this line, but never in my life did I think I would ever go to Iowa let a lone a farm in Iowa! During 5th grade for my school’s annual “states” project I was assigned Iowa, and all I could remember from that project was that the Iowa State Coin had not come out yet… and CORN! That the extent of my understanding until I met Sean and Josh. Well, it was a blast! Next time we will come during the heart of summer to explore more of Okoboji.

Thanks for reading, love you all!

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jtin97 · 5 years

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Love Sucks

First of all I’d like to make it very clear this post has nothing to do with firing shots and trash talking the girl whom I loved for such a long time. This is my story about heartbreak, betrayal, mental health and how I dealt with it because not enough people and especially men do this. It has taken me 365 days to bring myself to do this and if it can help just one person in a similar position to how I was, then for me it will be worthwhile.

It all started when we were 15 (September 2012) , in school, we were best friends. Spoke every single day and only when friends mocked us for flirting and saying how good we were together, we both thought – maybe. I asked you over on a weekend, spontaneously. We watched Tarzan on video. We had an unbelievable time and romantically, it just worked. I asked you out, you said yes and we were young and so, so happy with each other for the next 5 and a half years - it was just pure love. You were the kindest and most reliable person in the world, we could share absolutely anything together. We did things together I could only dream of at the age we were and I felt like I was the luckiest person in the world; 2 proms, multiple holidays, so many adventures and loads in between. We did everything together. Virtually all my memories from the age of 15-21 you were there with me. We were both on the same page with life and got on with each others families so well and that’s all you really want.

Fast-forward to September 2017, we had our 5 year anniversary. I surprised you with a weekend in Paris, I booked a top floor room right next to the Eiffel Tower, absolutely breath-taking and we shared it together. We had a ball wandering around the streets of Paris, going to these small café’s for food as well as getting ice cream and crepes throughout the weekend. It was mini breaks like this that I was looking forward to doing much more of in the years to come.

A couple of months afterwards, something changed with me. To this day I really do not know what instigated it because at the time everything in my life was just perfect; but I was depressed. I start work at 5 in the morning and would often go several days a week without a wink of sleep; for months I was constantly drained and I couldn’t always give you the 100% attention I was so consistent on in the previous years and for that I’m sorry but I tried my best, I honestly did. It’s an indescribable feeling, some days I felt okay and others I just wanted the ground to swallow me up and never come back; I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But even though feeling like this for months I never really spoke to anyone about it, I thought it would just be a phase that would pass but it just wouldn’t go. I remember coming home from work once and started balling my eyes out to my mum and just telling her everything I was struggling with and then telling my best mate how I felt. My only regret is not speaking out to family and friends. I always perceive myself as a macho, strongminded person who keeps things to themselves if there’s a problem but with this – I couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t until after telling my mum and best mate in February/March time I slowly began to get back to being myself and being happy again but it was a torrid few months mentally.

The purpose of this was to put into perspective how quickly everything could change and no matter how bad you feel, it gets better. On May 17th 2018, I received an anonymous message on social media saying that my girlfriend is cheating on me, telling me who it was with, how she was doing it and how long it had been going on for. I was shaking, a mess and thinking surely not, she wouldn’t do that. I was at work at the time and showed my best mate and he just said ‘she wouldn’t do that, no chance’. I didn’t reply, I just told my girlfriend I was seeing her after she finished work. I turned up at 11:30pm, shown her the message and she promised me that she would never do that to me – apparently she’s not that type of person, I believed her – at that time I would’ve trusted her with my life. You’re with someone for 6 years, you have to trust them and I know for sure that she’s never lied to me about something so serious before. I was always still cautious, but I’m too much of a nice person so just let it go. When in reality, why would someone randomly message me something like that with such specific details, alarm bells should’ve been ringing for me.

On Monday 11th June, I found out my wonderful sister had two cancerous tumours in her neck, something you never want to hear in your lifetime. I told close friends and my girlfriend who were very caring of the situation. The next day, my girlfriend broke up with me; completely out of the blue. She said there was just nothing there anymore and things just weren’t the same. I still loved her with all my heart and try to fight my cause but I couldn’t force her to stay with me if she just didn’t love me anymore. I thought that was that. The whole of the Wednesday, I was crying for about 12 hours straight, an absolute mess. My 3 best friends picked me up and convinced me to go to a local quiz (which we came last in) to help me take my mind off everything and it honestly did me the world of good (thanks lad if you’re reading). I got home and my phone went off. She text me asking for me to go over, which I instantly did. She said sorry and that she loved me, wanted to be with me etc… But after that nothing was ever the same.

On the following Friday, I went on holiday with my 3 best friends, all in relationships so not a typical ‘lads holiday’, just a week in the sun with some beers. Due to the week I had, I was so close to not going but I really needed to try and clear my head and get away from everything. I had a great week with them and it was exactly what I needed at the time – relaxing and watching the World Cup. They were the only people who had an idea of what I was going through at the time and gave me all the space, time and support I needed to keep me going through a very confusing time where I had a lot to take in.

I got back from my holiday and I could start to notice things were really not the same. Suddenly she started distancing herself from me and became really secretive about her phone and would not let me even touch it. I would never go through her phone behind her back in the 6 years we were together. It was her privacy which I respected and trusted her but for 6 years she was never like this so I had a hunch that something wasn’t right and having my suspicions I needed clarity there was nothing going on which I never really got.

On July 18th 2018, one of my friends had a house party, everyone took their girlfriends and it was so great. Me and my girlfriend were having so much fun – dancing, drinking and joking with each other, just like old times. As standard, she had too much to drink, I ended up looking after her and after it all I misplaced my phone. I borrowed hers to use the torch to try and find it. I seized the opportunity of having her phone and looked at her messages with the person who she was supposedly cheating on me with. I saw that she was. I wasn’t on her phone for long but I can still recite almost every word I saw in the minute I was on there. I saw was that she was messaging him that night saying how much she loves him and how she wants to be with him instead of being at this party with me. I was devastated, heartbroken and had never felt so worthless. I went up to her and calmly said that its time to go home. I walked her home to sleep in my bed, hand in hand as she was incapable of walking herself (took an hour by the way!!) and confronted her because I then knew the truth and inevitably she told me everything. She was cheating on me for months and I was dumb enough to be completely oblivious to everything. That night I led on my side facing the wall crying my eyes out whilst she was fast asleep.

Stupidly, I tried working things out with her which now I regret even attempting. She never really said sorry about what she did and said that she would stop talking to him but in reality it was a work colleague so that was never going to happen. We met up a couple of times, we would cry together because we both knew it was the end. I would cry to her telling her I would never get anyone better. Although, in reality I will. A year on, I haven’t put myself out there on the dating scene as I find it incredibly difficult to trust someone and this experience has severely scarred me.

The last time we met up was August 21st 2018 and after that rarely did we make contact. It was the first time in 6 years I hadn’t woke up saying good morning or saying goodnight to her and I really struggled with the feeling of that. The following week was the hardest week for me, my best mate went on holiday and I spent the whole week reflecting and crying over everything that had happened in the previous months. I didn’t speak to anyone or do anything, I contemplated life so many times, I just couldn’t deal with how I felt. The feeling is just inexplainable but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let her win.

After this I felt so low again but constantly upset at the thought of betrayal, not depressed. It took me about 7 months just to get my head round the situation and get over it completely. But once I got over it I’ve been living my best life. In the last 4 months I have:

ü Lost 3 stone by going to the gym regularly

ü Been to two concerts

ü Had a weekend in Prague with my best mate

ü Went to a festival

ü Went on a holiday with 6 friends

ü Booked a holiday to New York

It was not until a couple of months after we broke up that I actually told people what happened. I didn’t tell my best friends, my parents – no one. The best thing to do was to tell someone and when I did it was the biggest weight off my shoulders. I always have and always will be a quiet person and keep myself to myself. But telling people was THE BIGGEST RELIEF in the world. Everyone I told was so supporting and where I thought everything was my fault, they made me realise that I was a great boyfriend to her and someone in the future would be lucky to have me, I did so much for her.

Although I’ve been slating her for most of this I was in no means a perfect boyfriend. For sure there are things I would have done differently, especially in the months prior where I was feeling low – I needed you to step up. I was always so kind to you. When I went on a night out and a girl ever came to talk to me, the first thing I would say is that I have a girlfriend and show them my screensaver – a picture of her. Although it sounds sad, it’s the sort of person I am and always will be. I would love to have someone in my life who could do that same. I spoilt her rotten the time we were together and everything I did was to make her happy. Seeing her smile and laugh was all I wanted to do. I know in a room of 1000 men I will never be the best looking person but there will be few who would treat someone better than me and one day someone will come along who will teach me how to love and trust someone again.

I’ve been too quiet and reserved about all this but seeing as you’re now engaged and shown very little respect for me, I’m finally speaking. Although you broke my heart, made me incredibly depressed, shattered my confidence, left me to feel unwanted and unimportant, made me feel the need to shutdown from everything in the world, and make me feel like I never wanted to speak to a girl or wanted a relationship ever again, I have to thank you because of what you did.

§ Thank you for making me realise I’m much stronger than I thought I was.

§ Thank you for bringing my family closer than ever.

§ Thank you for making me closer to my friends.

§ Thank you for showing me exactly how not to handle a long-term breakup.

§ Thank you for showing your true colours early on in life before kids and serious money was involved.

§ Thank you for making me become a better man.

I wish you all the happiness in the future and hope everything works out for you in your relationship, but I know for sure I would not trust a girl who did what you did. If I was your fiancé I’d be incredibly paranoid that you’ll do what you did to me, to him.

The purpose of this post is to highlight how disgusting cheating is. It literally tears the victim apart and if you cannot guarantee loyalty; end the relationship before they get hurt twice the amount. Never take someone back after cheating, if they have it in them to do it once, they’ll do it again. If someone is reading this in a similar situation you’re worth so much more and things will get better and you will find someone in the long term, talking to someone is the best thing you’ll ever do and keep your head up. Time is the best healer.

Love is a magical thing, if you have something special don’t take it for granted.

Sometimes you have to step out of the frame to see the picture

#relationship #cheating #mental health

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