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jonnywaistcoat · 9 months

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Hi Jonny, if you don't mind I have a question about the TMA TTRPG! So I noticed that on the player's guide there's this guy, who my friends and I assumed is probably Jon. If it is him, is this a canon design, or more like some of the non-canon stuff that's in the merch?

So, I hope you don't mind if i use this ask to go a bit off on one. I'm not specifically dragging you (I'm actualy glad you asked, as I've thinking about posting on the topic), but all the discussion around the RPG art and how "official" or "canon" it might be is, to my mind, slightly silly.

First up, is it "official" art? I mean, yeah, its art for the officially licenced Magnus Archives RPG. This means Monte Cook Games have commissioned someone to do a beatiful illustration broadly based on some aspect, episode or character from the podcast and it goes in the book. But that's kinda all it means. "Official" is a legal distinction, not an artistic one. The fact that it's in an official product doesn't make it any less one artist's cool interpretation of a character that has only been vaguely described in audio.

Second, is it Jonathan Sims the Archivist? I mean, it's probably based on the idea of him, but it's certainly not set in stone. When we were first discussing art with MCG, we advised that character pictures be more vibes-based and not explicitly tied to specific people (ie. a portrait inspired by Tim wouldn't be captioned "This is Tim" and wouldn't be placed opposite a profile for Tim Stoker, archival assistant.) This was mainly because we wanted the artists to have plenty of freedom to interpret and not feel too tied down by the need to know everything about the podcast. But, to be frank, it was also because we know that there are a few fans out there that are kinda Not Chill about what they've personally decided these characters look like and can get a bit defensive over depictions that differ.

It strikes me as particularly strange to be having this discussion about art that's for a roleplying game book. Something that's explicitly and solely designed to give you the ability to play in your version of the Magnus universe. The idea that this is the thing where we'd for some reason try to immutably establish unchangable appearances for these characters would be pretty funny if some folks weren't taking it so seriously. Similarly ridiculous is the idea we could reasonably have said to MCG "We'd love for you to make a huge beautiful RPG book of our setting... Just make sure you don't depict any of the iconic characters or events from it!"

But... is it "canon"? Now, to my mind, this highlights a real weakness in a lot of fandom thinking around "canon", which is that it generally has no idea what to do with adaptations. All adaptation is interpretation, and relies on taking a work and letting new creatives (and sometimes the same ones) have a different take on it. Are the appearances of the Fellowship of the Ring in the LOTR movies "canon"? How much, if at all, does that matter? Neil Gaiman's book Neverwhere was originaly a 90s BBC series made with a budget of 50 pence; is anyone who makes fanart of Mr Croup that doesn't look like the actor Hywel Bennet breaking canon? What about the novel that describes the character differently? Or the officially licenced Neverwhere comic where he looks like neither of them? Which is his "canon appearance"?

Canon is an inherently messy concept, and while it is useful for a creative team trying to keep continuity and consistency within a creative work, for thinking about anything beyond that it tends to be more hinderance than help.

Anyway, all this is to say that the above picture and all the others in the RPG are exactly as canon as every other picture you've ever seen of the Archivist.

#sorry for the huge answer #been thinking about it a lot recently #and wanted to get my thoughts down

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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AITA for unfollowing someone on Twitter without warning?

Ok I know this is silly, it's low stakes but here goes.

I unexpectedly became fairly popular in a smallish fandom after some of my art was shared on Twitter. I don't like Twitter for fandom but it really boosted my audience so I joined up. I mostly stayed quiet over there because there was a lot of infighting and I just generally didn't feel "safe". It felt like if I expressed any opinions at all I'd run the risk of being cancelled. So I'd post my work and periodically engage but I didn't really make friends.

There was this one poster who had gotten pretty big in the fandom on Twitter. We interacted through DMs a few times. We were friendly but I wouldn't say we were friends. I didn't get very personal with them. I liked some of the things they made, but they were younger than me and I didn't really match their vibe.

This person was involved in some things that I personally found distasteful, but weren't exactly wrong. I won't go into specifics but it was fairly low stakes "rude" behavior that I just didn't like. I didn't feel like I should "call them out", first because we weren't really close and second because none of it was really that bad. I try to be a live and let live sort of person.

I've been on Tumblr for a long time and before the update that shows you in notifications if someone is your mutual, following/unfollowing wasn't that big a deal here. It was basically impossible to tell if a specific person had unfollowed you and me and most of the people I know here pretty much ignored Tumblr follow counts and never paid attention to who was coming and going.

This person on Twitter was starting to annoy me every time I saw their icon on my TL. again, they hadn't done anything "wrong", I just wasn't vibing.

So I unfollowed them. I just didn't want to see their stuff anymore.

They immediately noticed and posted about how nasty it was to unfollow someone without telling them why (Twitter showed me their posts about it bc someone else I follow was replying to them) and how I could have at least softblocked them and how it was a misuse of my influence as a BNF (which I never thought I was or claimed to be).

I didn't know what softblocking was I didn't know I could mute somebody. I thought it was just follow or unfollow and I thought they'd never notice.

I saw that they were upset but I felt going to their DMs to say that I unfollowed because I didn't like their vibe would be more upsetting than just leaving it alone. They clearly disagreed.

So AITA for unfollowing and not saying why?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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twig-tea · 4 months

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Lately I’ve been feeling like Thai bl is truly all over the place with so many shows airing at once and some of the best ones flying under the radar while discourse is focused on a couple of the big messy ones. I think you’re the only person I know who is actually watching ALL of them and has been here for the whole evolution of the genre, so I’m curious what stands out to you about this current moment. Do the shows feel different to you? Is the way fandom is interacting with them changing? And what are your current favs?

I ended up writing a thesis, sorry friend lol To be fair to me there are 3 questions in there, all of them meaty! I've done my best to give a sense of where I'm at with Thai BL and how it feels like it's changed over time.

Caveating all of this: I am just one fan who I'm sure has had specific experiences that will colour my opinion, also a lot of this is just vibes so I'm open to being told I've forgotten something major or misremembered what it was like! If you are reading this and your opinion or experience is different please share, with stuff like this I'm always interested in hearing about differing opinions because the fandom experience will depend at least partly on where you hang out. For years, my main fandom space for BL was the YouTube comments section (RIP me).

Overall feel

Honestly, things overall don't feel all that different to me in Thai BL in particular, even though I'm about to talk about a lot of changes and ways it actuallyd does feel very different below lol And after reflecting about it, I think it's because these things still feel very much in flux, in a way that they've felt in flux this entire time. Producers are still figuring out the best funding and distribution models and merch models to make money; creators are still calibrating how queer these shows can be and still be popular; actors are still figuring out how to do BGP (business gay performances) without having fans interfere in their private lives off the clock. Writers are still trying to figure out how to write 12-episode arcs that don't drag in the middle or fumble the ending (which is also not new). The tension between established ships, fan expectations, and genre requirements has honestly been there almost the whole time, though the reverberations of missteps is louder now because of the larger fanbase that is (comparatively) more plugged in to live viewing. The core question in BL has always been 'how do we make this marketable', and that unsurprisingly hasn't changed, though the answer to that question has over time, if that makes sense?

Shows

Do the shows feel different? As a whole, I'd say yes. The biggest differences are of course total quantity and overall quality, but the actual distribution of % of shows that have high(er) production values (i.e. quality) feels close to the same--it was close to 50/50 in the late 2010s and now is maybe more like 40/60 with a higher percentage coming from more smaller production companies. But the numbers we're talking about are something like 15 shows in e.g. 2018 and something more like 50 shows in 2023 (being vague because there are shows that people could argue over whether they should count). The quality overall has increased, even the pulps look better, sound better, and tend to feel a little bit more put together than the pulps of even 2020 (please note that these are all relative qualifiers, most of these shows are still not objectively good). 2020 in particular was a watershed moment for high production value BLs; we get colorists and special effects artists, and sometimes decent sound production now!

There has also been an improvement in terms of what is depicted and how certain subject matter is treated very generally, though I think that's still in flux. Things like evil ex girlfriends are less common than they were and the women in BL are more likely (in general, still not always) to be treated as realized characters. We've gotten more and better femme representation in ensemble shows, and the "gay for you" trope is much less common. Consent is now considered sexy and is much more common than it was; non-consent as "sexy" has eroded and is much less common. Things that used to happen in almost every BL now happen in a much lower percentage. I also feel a little bit less worried about some of the actors on pulp sets because there is more general scrutiny about things like minor actors, intimacy coordination, BGP (business gay performance) expectations, and sexual exploitation. Overall, show recommendations these days come with fewer caveats.

The assumption that if you worked with someone on a BL once you would stay with them as an established pairing was surprisingly early in BL; I don't know if it's just because there were a few shows that had side pairings then get main shows, so the actors did work together on a few shows in a row, which made them feel established, or whether it's because the BGP started early to build hype both before and after shows aired, or whether audiences just made homophobic assumptions about how if two actors had chemistry they had to be gay for each other, and otherwise nobody would want to "play gay" more than once, or would want to have to kiss too many other men....in any case, there were huge scandals and blow-ups around this in BL on even the earliest shows, and some early shows were snubbed because of the pairing alone. Similarly, it was established very early in BL (i.e. 2016-17) that an unhappy ending for a pair would result in your show being panned; cheating was also a guaranteed flop in BL circles (though some ensemble shows that had gay relationships in them such as Friend Zone did fine with cheating plots and unhappy endings). Overall it feels like some things were only depicted in early Thai BL and creators have avoided them since due to the audience reception at the time. I will say, generally, that there have now been enough examples of people in a "branded pair" moving on to a new pair or multiple shows, that it feels less like a death knell to a BL career if one of the actors says they no longer wanted to make BLs, or if they switched companies.

I pay a lot of attention to queerness in BL, and that has changed a little bit too, though not in the way I expected. I had been expecting a more clear and steady trajectory in BL, but we've instead had real swings, and I've realized there will just always be shows that feel more or less actually gay or queer than others, and that's ok. Early Thai shows really spoiled us for good queer content, GayOK Bangkok and Diary of Tootsies are still shows by which i measure what we get now, and both of those are from 2016. I would say that more "mainstream" BL (i.e. by one of the major production companies) hit what turned out to be queer saturation around 2020 and that's where I was most surprised not see a more clear trajectory; rather than things getting more queer from there, I'd say a greater percentage of shows overall feel more queer, but we haven't (and I now suspect won't) reach the queerness we had in Thai tv in 2016. That being said, my secret running list of things I want to see in BL gets shorter every year as entries get crossed off, so I would say the range of queer experience is slowly getting captured as more content continues to be made by a wider range of production houses (PrEP being mentioned in a mainstream show is my white whale).

I know some people assume that shows are higher heat now overall, but I don't think that's true. I do think Thai television producers and directors have overalll gotten better at capturing sensuality, and acting workshops have improved chemistry-building overall too. But from what I can tell the ratio of high head and low heat content is still pretty similar to what it's always been, maybe slightly higher (e.g. at a quick glance I'd guesstimate 30% of shows had a sex scene in 2018 vs 40% in 2023).

Fandom

The main differences in fandom from the really early days and now are the ways we, as international fans, are able to engage with each other, with thai audiences at the same time, and with content creators, and the entitlement that comes with that. In the 2010s we were almost always watching after Thai airing, with either fansubs or, later, official subs, trailing online releases by days or weeks, which themselves may have trailed the Thailand airing date by days or weeks or sometimes even months. That became less true around 2019ish, and especially in 2020 when I think Thai producers were desperate to reach audiences during the start of the pandemic (and when audiences were desperate for something to distract us from what was happening in real life).

As a fan in the mid-late 2010s, watching something was either unofficial via a fansubber, or you were wading through hundreds of Thai comments to find anyone else writing about the shows in English. Now, it's actually rare we don't have immediate international distribution, though it may be paid. If the subs are not up at the same time as the official upload, even on free sites, fans get furious. It's a bit surreal to see people complain about waiting a few hours for subtitles, especially on YouTube, when we sometimes waited months for a series to finish being subbed (not to say people didn't complain back then too, because they sure did! But there were fewer international fans overall, and it wasn't an expectation that there would be subs, so fewer people complained when it happened). This meant that a lot of people only watched shows when they were complete, and people were not watching with any kind of synchronicity.

With international fans moving into simultaneous watching with Thai audiences, we suddenly had the chance to talk about shows as they were airing and affect the conversations about them and even, sometimes, the decisions. Folks seem to have differing opinions about what makes a BL, and what makes a BL good, and they are vocal about when a show doesn't meet their standard. This has always been true, but the strong opinions have more of an effect on the discourse when they're expressed in real-time to the show being aired. Also, when we have literally 3x the number of Thai shows being aired (nevermind other countries which have also increased), it seems so much more egregious to me to complain if a single show doesn't meet your particular taste. Just go watch something else! That was less possible in 2016, but now nobody has any excuse lol Please note here that I'm not saying shows should not be criticized. But when you have one loud faction saying shows should have nothing but innocent kisses if any skinship at all and showing more is distasteful and possibly homophobic, and another faction saying a show should be panned if they don't have at least one sex scene and if there is no good kiss it's homophobic, I don't know where that leaves content creators but I see the tension and how it sometimes results in my least favourite tropes like "blushing maiden" even after a couple has canonically had sex. These factions have always existed in BL fandom, this is not new, they just both seem particularly silly now with so much content to choose from.

The shows that get attention and the shows that get snubbed feel the same too, in all honesty. You can ask yourself the following questions:

Is the show a little slower paced?

Are the story beats less melodramatic?

Do its characters feel more human?

Do they feel more queer?

Is it a comedy?

Is there any risk of an unhappy ending?

Do people not think one of the lead actors is hot?

Do people ship one of the lead actors with someone who isn't his costar?

Do people have to do anything other than go to YouTube to watch it?

If the answer is yes to any of those questions, and especially to the last one, fewer people will be watching, even if the show is good. That's always been true. [Shows I'm thinking about when I say that: Make it Right, He's Coming to Me, My Ride, You're My Sky, Oxygen (though the sides in this one are also at fault), YYY, Something in my Room, Ghost Host Ghost House, Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Soul, Cooking Crush.] All this is to say, there have always been shows that have been ignored, though I agree with you OP that with more shows airing, more are being ignored at any given time.

The other thing is that when a show is good, it doesn't necessarily invite discourse. The messes are often what encourage people to dig in, fill in gaps, linger in the adrenaline. The part that does feel different is also related to the increase in genre BLs; genre stuff in general tends to get more attention in fandom spaces, and the way people are functioning as fans feels different in that they're bringing the way they interact with genre content to BL as BL has started having larger and better funded genre content. I'm thinking about those early genre BLs like He She It, My Dream, Love Poison, Golden Blood, So Much In Love, Why R U....we started getting genre shows in BL in I think 2017 and basically had 1-2 a year until 2020ish and then it increased from there; and the ones that had funding and decent distribution got engagement until they started going off the rails, and then they had even more engagement and then fell off. I don't think it's a coincidence that the shows last year that got people to write meta were La Pluie, Be My Favorite, and I Feel You Linger in the Air. When a show is building a world, there's more to say and interrogate about it, and when a genre show fails, it can fail more spectacularly than a regular romance story. The most popular BL shows used to all be straight-up BL bubble romances, but I think genre shows really started to take over a greater percentage of the popular spots in 2022 and 2023. Again, the main difference here is that there used to be 1-2 stand-out shows per year, and now there are closer to 6+ per year, and as we got more stand-out shows the variety of what type of show stood out as popular has expanded. I do think the overall percentage of shows that are more standard romance plots has reduced, partly because Thai production companies are running out of popular y-novels to adapt. So I'm anticipating we'll continue to get more genre content going forward, and maybe a higher percentage of original works too.

Shows I'm Enjoying Right Now

Right now, the Thai shows airing that I'm watching are:

Cooking Crush

Dead Friend Forever

Cherry Magic Thailand

City of Stars

The Sign

Playboyy

PitBabe

7 Days before Valentine

For Him

Of those, I'd currently most recommend Cooking Crush as a generic BL recommendation. Dead Friend Forever is very good, but is not a romance and is difficult for some to watch (there are a lot of dark themes in addition to the gore and scary bits).

Cooking Crush is doing so many things I love. I've written about the way it's set up its major conflict to be amongst the friend group here, and way the show is depicting communication between the two main characters and how they improve their communication with one another as they get closer here. Two of my biggest BL pet peeves are a conflict for the sake of a dramatic penultimate episode that ignores or retcons a character's growth or the building of trust that a couple has already gone through in the series, so the fact that this show is working so hard to establish strong communication between its leads and then setting up the significant drama to actually about friendship rather than romance is something I cannot overstate my excitement about. To tie this back into what I wrote above, this reminds me of Diary of Tootsies and I mean that in the best possible way.

Dead Friend Foreever is, like I mentioned above, not a romance; it's a slasher horror melodrama with a very well established mystery, an ensemble cast of mostly hateable characters (which I admit isn't usually my thing, but since they're likely all going to die as a result of the genre they're in I'm finding that more tolerable than usual, and there is at least one character I like). DFF did a great job of structuring the story for the ultimate payoff of information reveals. There are a lot of shows that have been messing with non-linear storytelling recently, Cooking Crush being one of the ones that actually does this poorly in my opinion, but Dead Friend Forever effectively uses non-linear storytelling so that we find out important pieces of information about particular characters at a time when that information will have the most emotional impact on what is happening in the "present" of the storyline. Every time there is a reveal, it informs what we've already seen, recontextualizes it, and means we understand some of the character motivations and actions differently from when we saw them the first time. I mentioned above that there are dark themes in this show; one of the things that I really like about this show is that the impact of class is not glossed over, and that the consequences of these events feel very real for the characters; people do terrible things in this show, but these actions are not treated lightly by the show itself.

You'd think these two shows would have nothing in common, but there are things that they share that put them both in my top category. Generally, in both of these shows, the character arcs are clear and logical; when a character does something, even if I don't like the action itself, I can understand exactly why they that and can see how it matches where they are in their arc at the time. The shows show change in characters as a result of what they experience, and the relationships in this show really matter. When characters start acting in ways that feel out of character or against their own arc because they have to in order to drive the plot forward, I struggle to remain invested; that's not happening with either of these shows. Both of these shows also treat serious topics with seriousness, and consequences for actions are real and felt by the characters in the show (and if someone gets away with something, the show is clear that this is not just). Nothing has happened that hasn't been signalled or implied earlier. Both shows also have clear class consciousness and represent the disparity caused by classism in a critical/harsh light.

Whew! I think I got to everything you asked. Thanks again for the extremely interesting question!

#ask game #bl meta #long post #typed so that I can stop thinking it #fandom meta #multi bl #thank you for the ask!

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fandxmslxt69 · 2 months

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CLEM'S BIRTHDAY HANG OUT!!

Hello friends!

As March comes to an end (my birth month wooo) I thought it would be a fun idea to have a little hang out during the last week! So from March 25 - 31 we are PARTYING !

Sort of!

My askbox is open to all sorts of silly dilly fun time! This is my first little hang out so PLEASE BE KIND TO ME i'm just a silly girl who wants to make friends and have some fun! I'm also hoping this might get me back into writing!

Yes, the poster is all Loki NO HE'S NOT THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION!! Here's a little info I guess (I am just winging this as we speak, it is not very thought out):

Rules & Info

The event will run from 03/25 to 03/31 - you can send in as many asks and hang out as much as you would like!!! No I will not kill you if you drop a hello in my askbox start of April - to be honest, I love friends so I won't ever turn anyone away

You can stop by my askbox to say hi, share some thoughts (or thots...) tell me anything, or play a game! (will talk about that in a bit)

Anyyyyoneeee is welcome I don't care if we aren't mutuals or we don't even talk, STOP BY AND SAY HI :D If you are rude or disrespectful in any way, I will kick your butt and break your nose.

This is a positive, fun zone. I just want to have my fun and mind my business, please don't be trying to cause problems. I'm a relatively small blog so thankfully no one really looks my way but I've had some bumps in the past.

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME DOING THIS AND IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE FROM NERVES SO BE PATIENT WITH ME OKAY

Games:

Fuck, marry, kill - send me any three characters that you want me to decide a fate for....oh my god please don't make me kill anyone I love dearly....

Blurbs!! - send me a little prompt/kink/thought & a character and I will try SOOOOO HARD to put out a little itty bitty something of writing! Like 500 words or so!! Can be fluffy or smutty. Angst is not allowed unless its just a LITTLE sad and with lots of fluffy stuff after

Character Association - tell me about yourself and let me give you a character. This is literally my favourite game ever, and I swear I'm super good at it

Book Recs - tell me your reading vibes/popular tropes you like and I will give you FIVE (not one, not two, but FIVE!!!) book recs because I like talking about books. If you show up talking about non fiction, then sorry but I am not your gal at all.

Chat - Come talk!! Come chat!! Come say hi and giggle with me about anything!! Come be crazy with me over narratives and themes and character arcs!!! Tell me about school or your day, your OCs, latest WIPs or anything currently on your mind!

Okay that's all I could come up with but literally any and all games are free game. I am keeping this as chill and lowkey as possible.

Characters/Fandoms:

You guys already KNOW my vibes and what I'm around and what I'm not, so feel free to send anything! I float around Marvel/DC (just send in any character and if I don't vibe with it I'll just let you know or leave it unanswered), I think it's obviously I'm Oscar Isaac obsessed....um. Pretty much anything. It's free game and I'll put my foot down if I'm down okay with something or don't want to answer :D

I'm..about to tag some friends...if that's okay...

@divine-knight-hand @romanarose @sarahscribbles @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl @sailorholly @in-som-niyah @fictive-sl0th @mischief2sarawr @saturn-rings-writes @superficialdomina @planetwaynez...and I can't remember anyone else now I'm sorry LMAO

KISSES EVERYONE <3

Clem

PS: If you're worried whether I'm comfy or not or familiar with a character or not, just send it in anyway and we'll figure it out from there!

#if i did not tag you its either im going to harass you on discord or i forgot or im worried you'll think im crazy #which i may be a little bit but not entirely #kisses everyone (panicking going to throw up)#clem talks <3 #Clem's Birthday Hang Out #<- NEW TAG !!!!!!!!!!!#when this finishes maybe I'll finally get to updating and revamping my masterlist!!!!!!#jason todd #loki laufeyson #moon knight #dc #dick grayson #marvel #oscar isaac #joel miller

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swanimagines · 2 years

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Could I request morpheus finding his wife after imprisonment in the mortal realm maybe she left to keep watch of the dreams that left the dreaming and is living as a mortal (maybe has a job at a bookstore). Morpheus gets slightly possessive and protective (you're my wife you belong in the dreaming where you're safe) and maybe gets a little jealous of a human friend she made. Ends with them goung back to the dreaming. I kinda imagine a grumpy x sunshine vibe. it can be fluffy slightly-angsty or even more of a funnier side up to you either way I'll read it

Also I say wife and fem-terms but I don't mind it being made gender neutral if you prefer

Thank you for your time and effort I look forward to more amazing content ✨️ 💕

Fandom: The Sandman

A/N: I made her as female because the thing in these is that when you use certain pronouns and say that she's his wife etc when requesting, I can't help but mentally adapt it onto the fic = I might accidentally use womanly stuff even if I'm trying to write it gn = I might get hate for it (it has happened before and it was quite a show last time which ended in a big drama and I lost a lot of followers for that and I definitely don't want it to happen again). Saying because I know someone might think I'm avoiding gn the best I can and attack me for it if I don't say anything. (And clarifying that I don't think it's your fault, it's just one of my oddities and I apologize for that, and yeah I have to admit that I prefer writing fem reader because at least then I know I won't make mistakes that would cause drama, but I want my blog to be as inclusive as possible with my abilities so I also write gn)

Word count: 1.4k

When your husband disappeared, the whole Dreaming had gone crazy. People were worried about him first - then frustrated, and then they started to flee. You and Lucienne tried to tell them to stay and questioned if they'd really believe Morpheus would abandon his kingdom and all of its people like that.

"It has happened before," Afsaix grumbled as he packed his bags with everything he owned. "There's no telling when he'll return."

You grabbed the faun's arm and made him look at you. "He will come back! I know it!" Your words came out more desperate than you intended.

Lucienne watched the scene from the door, sighing as yet another resident of The Dreaming was about to leave.

The faun ripped his arm from your grip, closing his bag. "Don't be ridiculous, he's been gone for what, over 30 years? My house is in crumbles, I have nothing here anymore… We need to find somewhere new," he said quietly but firmly. He shook himself as if your hands had given him fleas and left.

"Lucienne, we have to stop this!" you pleaded with the only person who was just as confident of Morpheus returning as you were.

"I'm afraid there's little to do other than wait. Once Lord Morpheus comes back, we can work on restoring all this, but until then, we can only wait." She sighed, rubbing her forehead tiredly.

You nodded in defeat, knowing she's right. Then your eyes widened, only now realising where the dreams are going.

"Lucienne, they're going to The Waking World, which means that someone has to guard them," you told your friend desperately. "I have to go there and guard their doings. They can cause a lot of damage in there."

"I understand your concern, my lady, but are you certain you're ready to take such a large job on you?" Lucienne asked kindly.

You nodded again. "I have to, it's my responsibility while my husband is away. I will make sure everything remains safe." You bit your lip before you briefly hugged her. "And you, keep people who decide to stay safe here."

"I will do my best, my lady."

***

You had settled in a little town and began working at a little bookshop around the corner with a nice woman living upstairs, secretly keeping an eye on dreams and nightmares that had escaped here. Most dreams settled just fine, living a peaceful life. But you sensed they felt like they didn't completely fit in this world, which was true, and you were sure they'd come back once Morpheus would return.

A hand was laid on your shoulder, and you smiled at your friend - Michael, a young man, barely 18, and you had persuaded Mrs. Brooks give him his first job.

"What is it?" you asked gently, and Michael gestured at one of the shelves with an elderly woman.

"She's trying to find a book that she read as a child, she doesn't seem to understand we don't have so old books."

"Oh dear," you sighed as you walked up to her.

The woman stared blankly into space, repeating "I need that storybook," over and over again.

You whipped your hand, a book appearing in your hand. "This one?" You held out the book, and her eyes lit up when she saw the title.

"Oh! Exactly that one, the young man over there said that you don't have it."

"Michael is new, and this is our last edition. Do forgive him."

The woman came to the desk, tightly holding onto the book and gave you a generous amount of money, way too much for it. "Keep the change, you just made an old woman's year." She patted your cheek kindly before leaving with the precious book.

You smiled after her, Michael blinking.

"How do you do that?" he asked.

"Do what? Make people happy?"

"No! The thing that you know exactly what they're looking for without them telling you, and then you just have it in your hands the next moment." He frowned thoughtfully.

You chuckled softly, putting your hand on his shoulder. "I guess I just am good at reading humans. But Michael, would you be a dear and go unload a box of books that arrived this morning? I have to order another box for next week."

"Of course, right away," Michael replied eagerly, going back to work. You went behind the counter and got to work yourself, barely hearing a tingle of the door bell as the door opened. You heard steps and saw someone stopping to stand between the shelves.

"I'll be with you in a moment," you called out. The person didn't answer, but stood still which you found a little weird and finally looked up. Your breath hitched when you met his gaze.

He stood there in his black coat and a small smile playing on his lips, and you couldn't help but feel something stir inside your chest. It was like butterflies were flying around in there, as if you saw him for the first time - and it kind of was, first time in over a century. "Morpheus!" you breathed happily.

"My love." His voice whispered as you circled the counter and ran to him. You crushed against him with all the strength left in your body - his smell filled your nose, the warmth of his coat embracing you. Then he pulled away slightly, searching your eyes.

"Where have you been?" You asked urgently. "I've missed you so much."

"I was imprisoned, my sweet," he told you sadly, cupping your face tenderly. "I was kept away because of people's selfishness and greediness."

You kissed him then, relieved that he's returned safe and sound. Then you heard someone clear their throat and broke away, looking at Michael frowning at the two of you. Morpheus frowned back at him, but you just smiled.

"Michael, can I introduce you to my husband?" You laughed lightly before gesturing the boy closer.

"Oh! So this is your husband, he returned from his trip then? Pleasure to meet you, I'm Michael." he extended his hand to Morpheus, but he didn't shake it, just glared at him and Michael retreated his hand. "Right. Um, do excuse me." He cleared his throat again nervously and walked back to the storage room.

You frowned at Morpheus after Michael had closed the door after him "Why did you do that for? He tried to be nice."

"Humans are not nice. They are full of themselves, thinking they are better than everyone else. People who kept me prisoner showed me how humans truly are." Morpheus sighed heavily, and you rolled your eyes.

"You're jealous." He didn't reply, but his expression confirmed it. "You have no reason to."

"We will go back to The Dreaming now." he muttered, turning towards the door, but stopping as he saw you had no intention to follow him.

"Morpheus, I have to take care of the shop first."

He sighed, lifting his chin up. "No, you are my wife, you belong in The Dreaming with me, where you are safe. You do not belong here among mortals."

"I didn't mean I'm staying here for good," you said with a small laugh. "I just have to arrange things so I won't leave anyone in trouble."

"You worry too much," he murmured, leaning down and kissing your forehead tenderly. His hands stroked your cheeks softly and looked around the little bookshop. "This is... nice looking."

"Well, not as nice as the library at the palace, but it's a cute little shop." you grinned, taking in your surroundings. This building had been your workplace for over a century, it had gone for so long that you pretended to be the great-granddaughter of your first self, but you always knew there would be an end for it. You had told Mrs. Brooks when you started working that you'd quit once your husband returns from overseas from his "business trip" and one of your employment conditions were that you have the right to quit on the spot if you wished. She had been fine with it, she had a bunch of people who were willing to do part-time job there in case they were in need of a new employee - her friends who had already retired, if you had gotten it right.

So you squeezed your husband's hand and made your way upstairs to tell Mrs. Brooks that it had come your time to leave, and after hugging Michael and getting a box of cookies from Mrs. Brooks and her wife, you took off with Morpheus, back to The Dreaming.

Back to home.

---

The Sandman taglist: @jesllianaquilesrolon // send in an ask to be added, and specify which of my fandoms you want to be tagged on! Don’t just say “can you add me to your taglist” as I can’t know what taglists do you mean by that!! ALSO IF YOU WON’T INTERACT BEYOND LIKING, I’LL EVENTUALLY TAKE YOU OFF THE LIST!!

#morpheus x reader #morpheus #dream of the endless x reader #dream of the endless #the sandman x reader #the sandman #morpheus x y/n #my works #female reader

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bengiyo · 11 months

Text

Why Do I Tag So Many Creators in My Posts? It’s About Respect

Earlier today I was talking with @sophsloveskpop in the notes of a post, and was asked about all of the interaction between blogs in the posts and essays about the shows. I’ve noticed an uptick in new names interacting with posts (and making great posts of their own!) and wanted to talk about why I do it and why I like fandom on Tumblr.

Fundamentally, I think it’s generally good courtesy to acknowledge when someone else has expressed a similar idea to your, or an idea that intrigues you. I think it’s best to tag that person and link to their post so that others can also experience it. It also opens you up to a dialogue with them and others.

People Like Getting Their Flowers

If someone posts an analysis or even a quirky idea that I felt the need to think about, I will mention them in my posts. None of the great content we get on here is necessarily quick to make. I absolutely love all of the gifmakers who fight against Photoshop, Tumblr, and God Himself to post snippets of shows on here for us. I wouldn’t be able to flesh out some of my posts, illustrates points, or otherwise breakup walls of text without @liyazaki, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @pharawee, or @gabrielokun. Whenever I can’t find the gif I’m looking for through Tumblr’s terrible gif search, I reach out to one of them for permission to use their gifs directly.

Also, many of us just like being acknowledged that someone we wrote meant something to someone else. Every time I get tagged by someone in an essay I’m like:

It’s a Conversation

I don’t think fandom is about being the smartest person or the most correct person. My basic framework I’m writing from is Black Gay Nerd Who Watches a Lot of Stuff. It’s what I’m most familiar with personally, and I find that people have really responded to that.

I’ve been around for a very long time, and have been seeing folks like @so-much-yet-to-learn around the entire time, who often has more specific information about fandom life during the airing of shows. @absolutebl and @heretherebedork have watched more BL than I have, and I’ve seen at least 250 productions. ABL has some of the most comprehensive posts collecting some of the history.

I made so many friends after diving into @shortpplfedup DMs to talk about sustainable urbanism and bonding over our shared geography. Now we run @the-conversation-pod together. Through them I befriended so many others, like @elnotwoods and @kyr-kun-chan.

I’m not a color theory expert, and so I love reading posts from @respectthepetty and others (I think @sliceduplife writes about color too).

We wouldn't even have my favorite show without @isaksbestpillow.

I know what shows are coming because of @clairificusrex.

I don’t know much about music theory, but @iguessitsjustme write some great stuff about the music in these shows.

I don’t always read the body language of hands as closely as someone like @wen-kexing-apologist might.

I am not Asian, and so I like reading from @waitmyturtles, @telomeke-bbs, and @neuroticbookworm. I know that @recentadultburnout and @airenyah offer useful perspective on Thai language.

Sometimes folks are going to narrow down on specific shows and consistently write about them for years on side blogs like @miscellar.

Some people have studied so much and bring specific academic lenses to the genre that I find compelling, like @emotionallychargedtowel.

In many cases, I just vibe with them really hard, like @ginnymoonbeam.

I actually didn’t always post as much as I do, but I try to keep up my Stray Thoughts project so that people can keep track of what I’m watching. I used to write less meta, but then I befriended @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan. Any time I say anything remotely thoughtful Shan is like:

Also, though, this is Tumblr! It’s easy to tag each other and link to each other’s posts! This is what makes us different from every

Isn’t It Just More Fun?

I don’t enjoy shows passively. I grew up in a family that watched things together. My mom, dad, sister, and I all have differing tastes from each other, but we watched a lot of different things together. My friends and I discussed the things we watched at school.

I’m a big fan of the water cooler approach to TV show distribution, which basically says you want your show to be the show people are talking about on their breaks at work. I always like Film Crit Hulk’s theory that movies (and our dramas) are the proverbial campfires around which we gather to share ourselves with each other.

This is all supposed to be fun, and I have more fun when we interact. I get tagged daily by @blmpff about updates from sets, or when we all need to rush to IG to make sure Fluke Pongsakorn doesn’t cut his hair. When @bl-bam-beyond makes a new set or post they let me know, and they recently rewatched Noah’s Arc! I made friends with @gillianthecat in the last year or so, and it’s been fun seeing her make her way through fandom. I always get excited with @troubled-mind pings me in a post because I know it’s going to give me something to chew on. I didn’t have a genuine appreciation for kink culture until I watched along with @lutawolf. If something funny is happening in fandom I know @benkaaoi is going to tag me. I still get excited when @heukheuk pops up in my mentions.

I know I’ve probably forgotten so many people alone the way here, and I’m sorry if I didn’t mention you.

Tag Because It’s the Right Thing to Do

So seriously, tag people and link to their posts. Try to use the giffmakers specific tags when you’re using the search feature. Fandom is better when we all interact respectfully and enthusiastically with each other. Tumblr is special because it lets us create goofy little essays like this and tag dozens of people just to get their attention.

If you have a cool thought about a show I’m watching, tag me. If you see something funny, tag me in the comments. If you wanna hash out an idea before posting it, DM me. This is Tumblr. Don’t be shy with your thoughts. It’s okay to be wrong on the internet. It’s actually fun to be wrong on the internet about show predictions!

Thank you as always for coming to my post.

#Ben writes #fandom life #tumblr life

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anarchy-and-piglins · 3 months

Note

Hi Shae,

This situation's shitty. I'm not gonna talk about it, I just wanted to kinda check in I guess? Ask if you're okay.

And also, send some kind words to you. Stars know we all need some kindness in this time. I love your writing, I love the stories you write, I love seeing you in the comment section of stories I read. Your enthusiasm is contagious and makes me grin! The way you write the characters, with their voices and vibes, is fantastic.

I hope you're doing all right.

(note: I'm tagging this ask and any potential future asks that refer to the Wilbur situation with 'support shelby or die by my sword', so people who want to avoid vent-y and triggering content can blacklist)

You, Anon, are one of the sweetest people ever.

I'm doing okay, all things considered. In an odd way, I'm lucky in that I detached from the CC side of things pretty firmly after Techno's passing and only really stick around for the characters. Still, I've cried. I feel sad and angry and betrayed and hurt, I feel for the victims, and I feel disgusted that somebody who I genuinely thought was a chill and kind and funny person could do something like that.

In a more selfish way, I feel grief. I think this definitely triggered some soft spots left behind by losing Techno. Wilbur is very entwined with a lot of Techno content, SBI as a whole is. And while I'm here for the fictional fandom/character stuff first and foremost, I did like cc!twinduo and cc!sbi as dynamics. So many of my comfort vids that still bring me joy and make me feel close to Techno have Wilbur in them (4/4 content, old mcc vlogs, etc). Now, that all feels stained. I haven't tried rewatching any of it, I don't know if I can. If I do, I'm afraid they won't give me joy anymore. It's like losing another bit of the pieces left behind by Techno and that hurts.

Also, the fading of a community. The Techno/SBI community already very much shrunk after his passing, but I know a lot of fanfic and fanart will be deleted, and a lot of artists/authors might discontinue to make content, which are absolutely valid choices but it does mean loss and loss is always painful, even if it's an understandable and necessary loss.

I'll be fine though. I know there are a lot of people WAY more affected by this than me (thinking about people who were more invested in cc!Wilbur than I ever was, not to mention Wilbur's actual group of friends and such). I'll be alright, I'll pull myself up by my bootstraps and keep trucking.

Thank you for the kind words about my writing too. I hope that my future fics, if you still choose to read them, can continue to bring you that enthusiasm and joy too. And if for you (or anybody else reading this), this means you're saying goodbye to my fic or to the techno/sbi/dsmp community as a whole, I hope you enjoyed your stay. And thank you for everything.

#asks #support shelby or die by my sword

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whitefoxgirl · 11 months

Text

🦊Culture Shock🐰 A (possible) Jungkook Series

Summary: Jungkook starts a podcast with his best friend who is a foreigner to discuss different topics they were shocked culturally about.

Author's Note: Hello my beautiful readers! I am back! I graduated from university which is why I have been M.I.A! I am uninspired so that's why I haven't updated the Namjoon series. I was gonna post that I am accepting requests, however, whenever I post about it something happens.

Author's Note PS: If you guys would like, I can make it a series, but if it doesn't get any engagement I'll just leave it as it is. It's based on what I think my interactions which JK would be if we were best friends (very delulu of me, but, we all are a little). If you'd like to be tagged, interact with this. I am tagging people who reblog, but if you wish to be tagged comment or simply reblog and I will add you :)

Pairing: Jungkook x BFF!Reader (not dating, just two best friends)

Fandom: BTS

Warnings: Mentions of sex, cringy, full of crack moments.

Genre: Fluff, crack.

Word Count: 1.5k

Next Episode

[PODCAST INTRO/THEME]

Jungkook: WOOOOO! That's a good intro! 여러분! 안녕하세요!

🦊: *giggles*

Jungkook: If you don't know, I'm Jungkook from BTS.

🦊: and I'm Y/N!

Jungkook: This is a good project.

🦊: I honestly thought it would never happen.

Jungkook: Really?

🦊: Well, it's just... *trying not to laugh* You always go live whenever you want, so I thought you wouldn't do it because it would be obsolete.

Jungkook: Yeah, but my fans get more of me this way.

🦊: Oh my god!

*both laugh*

🦊: Very narcissistic.

Jungkook: We all are in a way.

🦊: Purr.

Jungkook: *snickers then laughs*

🦊: So, why did we do this?

Jungkook: Okay, so, I'm Korean an-

🦊: *chuckles*

Jungkook: *chuckles* *in between chuckles* I'm Korean, but Y/N is a foreigner in Korea.

🦊: Very "Emily in Paris"

Jungkook: *long pause* No, "XO, Kitty".

🦊: EW! *laughs*

🦊: Do I give koreaboo vibes!?

Jungkook: *deadpan/trying not to laugh* Yeah.

Jungkook: OKAY! Let me get back to it. As we talk more and more, we kind of noticed that there are some things that we tell each other that kind of shock us.

🦊: Right and it was very entertaining to other people to listen to us talk about these things, and honestly? I need to pay my college debt.

Jungkook: I- okay, we can talk about that off the podcast *laughs*

🦊: I will DECLINE ONCE AGAIN if you offer to pay for it.

🦊: *in between laughs* LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT MONEY!~

Jungkook: Yeah, we don't want a frenemies incident.

🦊: They were iconic though.

Jungkook: It was very culture shocking, we can talk about that in another episode.

🦊: For sure. Today's episode is about~

Jungkook: Musiiiiiic! *sighs smiling* I love it!

🦊: Okay, before that! I nee- Okay, WE need to-

Jungkook: Oh! I forgot about that!

🦊: I can tell. So, just because we started this podcast, it does NOT MEAN I WANNA DATE JUNGKOOK!

Jungkook: *laughs away from the mic* *gets close* I don't wanna date you either.

🦊: No! This is for real! People will-

Jungkook: Start to ship up and stuff.

🦊: Which, no. Please.

Jungkook: Yeah, and again, just because we have a podcast and they're with me, it does not mean that we're dating or fucking or-

🦊: EW!

Jungkook: *in between laughs* Stop!~ I have to be serious!~

🦊: *giggles*

Jungkook: *trying not to laugh* Or give you guys the opportunity or-*clears throat/gets serious* right to go to their socials and bully them. We're friends.

🦊: And even if we're dating.

Jungkook: Yeah, no. Please, just spread love and positivity.

🦊: yeah...

🦊: So, *claps hands* MU.SIC!

Jungkook: I wanna go first!

🦊: Go for it, dude.

Jungkook: *smiles* So, here's the thing.

🦊: *laughs* Oh my god, I know what you're gonna say!

Jungkook: Y/N likes a ton of different music and they are very knowledgeable in a lot of cultures.

🦊: *gets embarrassed* Stop.

Jungkook: So they have a lot of things to talk about.

🦊: Such a Pisces *laughs*

Jungkook: *in between laughs* Yeah!

Jungkook: So because of that, they showed me reggaeton music, and OH MY GOD.

🦊: *laughs away from the mic*

Jungkook: *gets closer to the mic* This music, makes "WAP" by Cardi B look like a baby.

🦊: For sure!~

Jungkook: I remember the first time you showed me the translation of it and I was like "뭐야!?! 이거 허용되나?!"

🦊: *laughs*

Jungkook: I remember the song too, it was "Delincuente" by Tokischa.

🦊: His Spanish is cute.

Jungkook: *long pause* Who?

🦊: YOU!

Jungkook: Oh *snickers* Stop. Okay! It too-

🦊: It was shocking for you.

Jungkook: For sure. The first lines were "Tokischa, you fuck or not?". I was-

🦊: *smiling* Clutching his pearls.

Jungkook: Like a church 아주마.

🦊: For sure.

Jungkook: And it got like worse over the course of it.

🦊: But like was it REALLY shocking?

Jungkook: *hums thinking* Well... It's not shocking but it was surprising.

🦊: Explain, sir.

Jungkook: Well, it was the openness of it. Like, her talking about how she wants to be filled with "milk".

Jungkook: I'm doing air quotes since I know you guys can't see. That they have to be quiet, that she's horny, that he should put it on her ass and coochie.

🦊: *laughs* NOT AT YOU SAYING COOCHIE!

Jungkook: *giggles*

Jungkook: My fans are gonna hate you

🦊: They'll think I'm corrupting you but in rea-

Jungkook: We're both pretty fucked.

🦊: Very in tune with our sexuality.

Jungkook: Yeah, that's why I wasn't SHOCKED, but I was surprised by the lyrics.

🦊: You know that's a trend?

Jungkook: What is?

🦊: People, Spanish speakers, show their parents the song to get their reaction.

Jungkook: That was lowkey me.

🦊: *giggles* It was, I should have recorded it!~

Jungkook: The first time you showed me the song, I didn't understand it because I didn't know what it said so I was like *singing* Ella quiere bicho!~ BELLACA!

🦊: *laughs loudly*

Jungkook: I was saying... VERBATIM "She wants dick! SHE'S HORNY!"

🦊: *in between laughs* 근데 귀여웠어! You have a cute accent in Spanish.

Jungkook: *gets close to the mic* *voice lowers* You flirting with me?

🦊: *sighs/groans* 아니야...

Jungkook: So, that was my~

Together: CULTURE SHOCK!

Jungkook: *laughs* That was so cringy! We're never doing that again!

🦊: Listen to us do it in a few minutes.

Jungkook: Yeah.

Jungkook: What about yours?

🦊: My culture shock in music?

Jungkook: Yeah, I'm curious.

🦊: *hums thinking* It wasn't the music, but it was the CULTURE around it.

Jungkook: Ooooooh!~ Controversial! Are we gonna get canceled?

🦊: *in between laughs* Our first aND last episode.

Jungkook: *in between laughs* Every Korean person will want to kill you after this.

Jungkook: I know what you're gonna say.

🦊: *smirks* Say it.

Jungkook: Out loud, say it.

🦊: *gasps* I thought you would sa- Forget it

Jungkook: The "House of Dragons" one?

🦊: Yeah.

Jungkook: But, twilight is more quotable and iconic internationally.

🦊: Oh! For sure!

Jungkook: Anyways! Yours is idol culture.

🦊: Yeah, but not like you being an idol.

Jungkook: Right.

🦊: It's like... Fans feeling entitled to you and your body and just everything about you.

Jungkook: 응응

🦊: Like even with your solo-

Jungkook: Oh god!~ *giggles*

🦊: Fans were like *whisper yells* "He's gonna kiss her! Who does she think she is?! There's gonna be sexual dances with women like with Jimin! ". It was... *long pause*

Jungkook: Yeah, it's a lot.

🦊: It's obsessive.

Jungkook: But, you were a fan like that too.

🦊: *gets close to the mic* Lower. Your. God. Damn. Voice.

Jungkook: She was obsessed with-

🦊: PLEASE DON'T EXPOSE ME!~

Jungkook: *laughs* Okay, I won't.

Jungkook: But you were like that.

🦊: Yeah, but I was 13. I've seen 20-year-olds act like that over idols and it-

Jungkook: It gives you the ick.

🦊: For sure.

Jungkook: But the way I see it. It's like they love you SO MUCH that it manifests itself like that.

🦊: Yeah but, there needs to be boundaries.

🦊: Like liking someone is okay, but they are their own person, and if there's no chance then just accept it.

Jungkook: Yeah, but you're manifesting-

🦊: Stop!~ He's gonna listen to this and I don't wanna say it out loud because then it doesn't happen~

Jungkook: Can I just say? He likes you too.

🦊:....

Jungkook: Like, in the way you like HIM.

🦊:....

🦊:...

Jungkook: *singing* CULTURE SHOCK!!

*both laugh*

Jungkook: Our producer is telling us to wrap it up.

Jungkook: 같이 먹어러 가자.

🦊: 콜!

Jungkook: Tell us in the comments if you want us to continue the podcast.

🦊: Yeah, I have the next topic already if they want us to continue.

🦊: You guys should tell us to continue since JK spend a lot of money on the equipment.

Jungkook: I'm taking 5%

🦊: *laughs*

Together: He takes that 5%~

🦊: JINX! You owe me a soda.

Jungkook: *sighs in defeat*

🦊: *laughs* Now he can't say bye until he gets me a soda

🦊: Anyways, support the podcast. Follow us!~ Stream "Seven" and... *long pause*

🦊: okay, un-jinx~

Jungkook: AND! Tell us what you would like for us to talk about.

🦊: Purr

Jungkook: Watch us become a tea podcast

🦊: Iconic

Jungkook: Is it?

🦊: You like to gossip so...

Jungkook: Well! It's because you made me this way *laughs*

🦊: *in between laughs* For sure, he minded his business until we met. Now we just gossip about things happening in the industry.

Jungkook: The Jeongyeon and Jimin tea.

🦊: *gasps* ARE YOU CONFIRMING?!

Jungkook: I'm not confirming NOR denying.

🦊: *laughs*

Jungkook: Okay, 먹어러 가자, 배고파

🦊: 응, 나두!~

Jungkook: Send us love!~

🦊: Love you guys!~

Jungkook: 안녕히 게세요!~

🦊: Nos vemos en el próximo podcast!~

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buckets-and-trees · 1 year

Note

Congrats again on 300 my love ❤️❤️ so you may already know which AU I’m going to be requesting, because it’s my favourite story of yours (so far) and that is Fire Burning from a Cedar Tree!! This story made my heart ache and if you have the inspiration for it I’d love love love to see more!! I don’t want to restrict your imagination by being too specific, but literally anything with those two and I would die of happiness 💙💙

Em, I squealed when you dropped this into my box for the request fest! Partly because I adore you. Partly because you know I also really adore Fire Burning from a Cedar Tree. And partly I squealed out of terror because...I was worried I wouldn't be able to do any kind of follow up to this fic justice. But I took a deep breath and let that go and decided to just let whatever happen happen. I was also a little worried because when I wrote Cedar Tree, it felt very finished, so I didn't have any leftover thoughts to pick up and play around with, so I literally took that first week to just think about them and their story. And then... a lot of scenes started to emerge - stuff before and after Cedar Tree, stuff that was just them, stuff with the people around them.

This is where I landed for now. It's not the same as Cedar Tree - first thing being that it's told from Steve's perspective instead of the reader's - but I'm thinking it will make sense in their overall narrative.

This it the end of their honeymoon, a few weeks before Cedar Tree.

Fandom: MCU Title: The Thrill of Knowing How Alone We Are Characters/Pairings: King!Steve Rogers x female!Queen!Reader, brief Sam and Bucky Word Count: 1.2k Summary: The final night and morning of King Steven's royal honeymoon.

Content Warnings: brief sexual relations (p in v)

Additional Notes: The third offering to celebrate 300 followers with the request fest! While this depicts events before Fire Burning from a Cedar Tree, it does not stand alone and should be read AFTER reading the original piece. Song title inspiration from Better Love by Hozier, which is one of the songs on my original Cedar Tree writing playlist. A/N 2: This still is pretty arbitrary, but although I knew the original was a historical royal AU setting, I basically closed my eyes and pointed when I ended up saying it was medieval. I debated between medieval or Georgian/regency vibe, but NOW it's decidedly Georgian, which will be more relevant if/as I share more of their story in the future.

It’s as he’s on his back, staring at the ceiling, that Steve realizes he’s already deciphered the difference between how it sounds when you’re asleep, when you’re awake, and when you’re somewhere in between. He didn’t expect that.

He expected a lot of things after taking you as his queen, but there were so many small things that make sense, but he simply hadn’t thought of, like this – knowing so quickly the sounds of your breathing.

Ten days and in some ways he knew so much more about you than he knew about anyone else but himself – more than he’d known about his parents, than Bucky whom he’d grown up with and trusted else as his closest friend and advisor, more than his general Sam who he trusted with the security of his kingdom and his own life.

The betrothal, the brief period of engagement, the wedding, and the wedding feast had all been very public and formal. The moment the two of you had entered the royal carriage to make the journey to his small palace in the lake country for the honeymoon, everything was suddenly private and intimate. It was the first time Steve had truly been alone with you, and the first moments alone would have been awkward – he certainly hadn’t thought about that moment until suddenly the two of you were there alone – but you had clearly thought of the circumstance in advance and had been prepared to make easy conversation. While the first few minutes had been an effort to make conversation, they swiftly did progress to easy conversation. The topics had been largely trivial and unimportant, but the words were not stilted.

After a late and quick supper upon arrival, the two of you had retired to the royal bedchamber. Steve had expected a dutiful consummation, and duty may have called for the deed, but the execution had unexpectedly run deeper, warmer, with the undertones of the fledgling familiarity built over the few hours alone earlier. Each day the familiarity grew, and though there could have perhaps been moments that could have allowed each of you two part naturally, you both drew each other into extending conversations, going on walks or rides or visiting a new area of the palace together, continuing formally in the first few days until it became merely natural and the two of you forgot altogether the idea of spending much of the time apart.

Now he understood the nostalgia with which many referred to the honeymoon. It was a pity it was coming to an end. Two weeks ago, you were little more than strangers to be wed and fulfill your royal duties. Here on this final night, he could not think of it ending. Tomorrow he would go back to being the king again.

He sighed and turned his head to look at you. He wanted to reach for you, pull you closer, touch you, but the touching wouldn’t be enough, and he’d said sensibly that the two of you should retire early specifically so he could sleep and be well rested for his early departure. He hadn’t thought you warming his bed would be torture. He thought that it would be soothing and help him sleep. But this was worse, and the longer he listened, the less it seemed sleep would ever come to him. But he would not leave or send you away, it was the last night he would have this kind of closeness afforded to him with ease. He also didn’t want to disturb you if you were perhaps close to dropping off to sleep. Nearness was enough, even if it meant no sleep.

Suddenly you shifted, rolling to lie on your back, and you let out a long sigh of your own.

“Sleep alluding you, my queen?”

“As it seems to be alluding you, my king. I know the time is only slipping away until you’re required to wake and depart. Is my restless state keeping you awake?”

Steve laughed. “Perhaps, but not in the way you think.”

He rolled up on his elbow and places a hand on your hip, drawing circles there with his fingers.

“Perhaps I can beckon sleep for both of us in…other ways.”

His hand moved up to cup your breast. He gave a squeeze and brushed his thumb over your nipple, the thin fabric of your night shift barely there. You whimpered his name, arching slightly into his palm.

“Yes?” he pressed.

“Yes,” you pleaded.

While he reached down to pull up the hem of your nightdress, your hands went quickly to free his growing desire for you. Quickly he shifted his body over yours, nestling between your eagerly parting legs. He smiled as he guided his cock to your heated folds, happy to find you were already wet. He looked up to your face, and you bit your lip before reaching your hands up to his jaw and drawing him down to meet your lips. Steve devoured you with his kiss as he plunged into you, and you gave yourself up to him completely until you were both exhausted and sleep finally overtook you.

When one of his esquires woke him in the pre-dawn glow, he suppressed a groan of agitation. It is not the kind of king he has ever wanted to portray to his subjects. He will always be a dignified king. He was diligent in making sure you were tucked in with propriety before falling asleep himself, but he looks over to make sure your modesty is preserved this morning now with someone else in the room. He wants to kiss you goodbye, and while part of him wants nothing more than to wake you, see your eyes look up at him before he leaves, he refrains from doing anything more than brushing the hair off and away from your face with only the lightest caress. It would be silly to wake you for any more sentimentality. The honeymoon is truly over, and he only feels this consuming tie because of the unique circumstances of here and now. When you are both back in the capitol, it will be more normal and less sentimental. He will be himself again.

Downstairs in the hall there were simple foods ready for him to break his fast, and Lord Barnes and General Wilson were both waiting and ready to receive their king. Barnes would accompany him to Stark’s kingdom, but Wilson was there to escort the queen back to the castle.

“Guard her with your life,” Steve commanded.

Wilson gave a slight bow. “Yes, my king.”

Steve turns to look at Barnes only to find a smirk on the man’s face. “What is so amusing at this hour?”

“You gave that order as if he hasn’t been in your service for years.”

“She is the queen,” Steve reminded them.

“I will afford her the same safety and security that I have for your majesty since given the responsibility of this position.”

Steve shook his head, “You should afford her more than you do me.”

Without hesitation, he responded, “It will be done.”

Steve strode out of the foyer and Barnes fell in just one step behind him. “We need not rush away from the palace so soon. The official royal business of Stark’s expo does not require you so immediately.”

“This was the plan,” Steve retorted, “why would we alter course?”

“The sooner we leave, the sooner we can return to your queen,” he agreed.

“The sooner we can return to my kingdom, Lord Barnes.”

“Yes, your majesty.”

read more of the CEDAR TREES COLLECTION

read the next part: A SHIFT IN THE MORNING ROUTINE

#steve rogers x reader #king!steve rogers x reader #royal au #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader insert #reader insert #steve rogers au #steve rogers royal au #king!steve rogers #request fest #aspen wrote something #aspen's request fest #cedar trees au

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the-s1lly-corner · 10 months

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Hello how are you :3? I was wondering if you could write E.J., Hoodie, and Masky with a s/o that has a lot of scars? (Toby too but platonic for him) I’m not sure how many people we can request so if it’s too many just Hoodie? I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable and thank you!

Various!Creepypastas w/ a scarred!reader

waaaah im so sorry for not seeing this sooner! i didnt recieve a notification for this ask!! really theres no limit to how many characters you can send in! i think my personal max varies from prompt to prompt!! mix of how they approach the concept of a scarred lover (friend in tobys case) with some hints of fluff! cause of scars will be vague as admittedly i didnt know if you meant general scars or SH! side note i hope this posts right! im writing this on my computer, im used to mobile!! + apologies for any weird wording or typos, im listening to music and im getting hyped!! not proof read we die like my spiderverse brainrot

Includes: Eyeless Jack, Hoodie, Masky and Platonic!Toby!

CWs: touch and go talk of potential past trauma, body image issues, vague mentions of SH(?) in EJs part + Toby's parts

admittedly admin doesnt know if its technically SH due to the nature and motiv but personally id still count it as such and tag it as such

Eyeless Jack;

he gets it, he really does. the basic run down of my hc/take on ej is that he wasnt always some flesh eating monster; just some dude who got caught up in some bad stuff

so naturally, he doesnt... really vibe well with the concept of eating human flesh, which can lead to a few... instances. from intentionally to accidentally harming himself while hes lost in his instincts

so hes no stranger to being a little roughed up around the edges

but hes a stranger to comforting; he'll likely approach it from a logical side before trying anything else. "you've been hurt," before going on a small tangent about the formation of scars. hes not the most... emotionally... good... available... person

so youre going to need to lay out the general basis for what you need for basic comfort, on days where your scars become an issue; be is needing comfort or a distraction. it may take him a while, but hell eventually start to pick up on cues and hints as your relationship develops

otherwise hes very neutral about them, again approaching them with a blunt view; seeing it as neither good nor bad. he doesnt draw attention to them, but he doesnt act like theyre gross

really just. vibing with it, doesnt make a huge deal of it since he feels he doesnt have any place to judge, nor does he feel its his business to pry for information

solid 6/10 imo, hell comfort you if you express that you need it but hell likely not go out of his way to do it

Hoodie;

Soft touches, he almost does it before he has your permission to touch you

naturally he has his own fair share of scars from various.. activities

really im still all jumbled up with how i wanna write him and masky; not sure if i want to make them like how they are in their MH source or lean into the proxy thing that was prominent in the early days of the fandom... lowkey leaning into the proxy thing for this post because im more... versed..? in that, but anyhow

hes more upfront and compassionate than eyeless jack, in fact hes probably the most caring out of the four in todays post... maybe thats because i read one (1) fic years back that changed my entire approach to his character but! yeah

subconsciously trails his hands on them when the two of you are holding one another; something gentle and intimate, not too obnoxious to make you self conscious, but not careful enough to go unnoticed

i view hoodie, and by extension brian if i end up considering him and tim fully seperate from their 'proxy' parts, as a very tactile person

true to the popular fanon interpretation, hoodie doesnt speak much. but that only makes him a better listener, so on days where things get hard, hell let you talk his ears off with anything thats bothering you. very rarely, hell speak up and offer some words of advice, most times hell inch closer to grasp you. though it does get awkward since most the time hes just. blankly staring at you silently without emoting or saying a word

overall? personally hes a 7/10 for me, i would rank him higher if he were more verbal, but thats just because admin has an easier time venting if its a two way convo; but overall hell make sure that your scars dont effect your worth

Masky;

very similarly to hoodie, masky also has his own set of scars for the same reasons

he probably starts pointing out his own scars to you and mumbles about where they came from if he knows their origins

this doesnt mean "oh hes invalidating your experiences and hes trying to make it about himself," but more so "hes showing that he really does get it and he doesnt mean to talk over you"

much like EJ he approaches scars with a very blunt and upfront mindset, but to a lesser extent. he admits that whatever led up to the tissue forming, it hurt. emotionally and physically, and hes not going to deny that simple fact. hell listen to you, have a conversation with you about it, and try to help you through whatever you may be currently going through regardless of if youre injury is relevant.

or at least, thats what hes trying to do.

hes still has his own personal issues regarding going about his own problems in a healthy manner but hey thats something for another post; maybe, if i remember

honestly this post doesnt have enough fluff imo, and i can kinda see masky doing this, but imagine he boops his mask against your scars in a mockery of a kiss (doesnt take off his mask often, in fact youll probably never ever see him without it on), i can see jack doing this too tbh

thoughts? 8/10, gets the bonus points for being less awkward to rant to imo, plus i think asides ej, i think i have a bias for masky for the simple fact i had the fattest crush on him when i was in middle school

Toby;

okay! this one is going to be interesting for one main reason! i actually havent touched tobys character in YEARS! so hes probably going to have the shorter list... obligatory i havent built any solid hcs for him past what was going on in the fandom in the 2010s, before toby briefly became a mild discomfort... but we're back in business baby!! (^^ dont feel bad for requesting for toby btw! hes no longer a discomfort, and if i didnt want to write for him i wouldnt be including him right here!!)

obviously we cant talk about his part without talking about his cheek. and other, similar hcs. while i dont think most of the self inflicted marks on his body were from a place of.. for lack of better words, darkness; it doesnt change the fact he still has them. i think a lot of them are from the fact he cant feel anything; accidental burns, gnawing through his cheek, digging his fingers deep into himself. really i could go into detail, but due to the aforementioned fact that my take on him isnt as developed as other characters + i really dont think its appropriate for this post (or really, anywhere on this account,), ill stop there

while he cant relate to the physical pain of what caused your scars, he can sympathize through your feelings. do you feel sorrow, or anger to whoever hurt you? hell be getting worked up right with you, because to him youre one of his closest friends

i feel like he doesnt talk much about his past, regarding his family. but hed tell you, and you can sure as hell bet that hell do his absolute damndest to grant you the same feeling of security.

hell probably touch and prod without truly meaning any harm, but thats because he can have problems with boundaries, but hell listen if you sit him down and tell him it makes you uncomfortable if it does

more so emotional than outwardly... supportive? idk the words, but hes very empathetic with you and tries to relate to you through emotion rather than feeling what you felt. honestly? kinda based for that, but maybe thats because i dont see feelings about this topic being touched on, usually its straight up about how the scar makes the person look or the physical trauma they had gone through, but idk, maybe thats just a me thing

he can be an asshole at times but hell usually backtrack and cool off somewhere else if you call him out on it imo

not sure if its because as im LITERALLY investigating his characteristics and interpretations as we speak, but i think im starting to relate to him so ER-OH!

anyways, i wish i could make his segment more... in tune with the characters above but its probably going to take me a while until im comfortable with how i portray this dude, which sucks because as a kid he was probably one of my favorites

i dont think im going to give toby a rating like the others; since i dont think i can accurate rate him due to the lack of proper concrete ideas outside of him being empathetic to your emotional pain since he cant relate on how much it hurt

im gonna end this here since im starting to sound like a broken record on tobys part so!

i hope you enjoyed this! characterization may be a little off but i blame that mostly on the fact that i kinda fell out of the loop in regards for writing for these guys (that damn spider movie! the brainrot threw me off my creepypasta grind!/j) but its good to be back writing for this fandom! it was a fun little brain exercise trying to figure out each character goes about this kind of thing without making them all the same!! with that being said, im going to go listen to an audio reading of tobys story so i can regrounded in his character and hopefully do him some justice in the future!

#creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #eyeless jack x reader #hoodie x reader #masky x reader #ticci toby x reader #eyeless jack x you #hoodie x you #masky x you #ticci toby x you

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teaboot · 1 year

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hello this is my first Tumblr and I am quite confusef Hel me!

Hello!

Tumblr in my experience is different from a lot of other social media platforms as there is no real goal or purpose or competition in posting. You can pretty much just say or do or add whatever and if people like your vibes the follow you, and if they don't, they don't.

If you like certain topics or Fandoms (groups of people who enjoy a particular show, book, media, etc.) you can search for it and click "follow" on blogs dedicated to those things.

Whenever they post something, you can see it on your dashboard (your "feed" or "homepage") and decide to comment (add pictures or words) reply (say something without sharing the post with your followers) or reblog (share with your followers, so that anyone following you can see the post, with or without adding your own commentary.)

Beyond technical stuff, there are some cultural things you may want to know about.

If something you reblog has potentially upsetting content- violence, traumatic topics, nudity- its considered an act of courtesy to "tag" it. This is so your followers who specifically do not want to see those topics can use filters to make those posts invisible. This is handy for people with phobias, PTSD, or photosensitive epilepsy, but also for people who just don't like those things.

There are a lot of memes that will not make sense. That is because posts don't vanish when they get old, so anything that becomes a "meme" often gets referenced over and over again for years, sometimes actual decades. Posts like "do you like the color of the sky?", "Horse Plinko", "loss.jpeg", etc. are examples of this.

There is no algorithm that decides what you might like and shows you those things. You are in control of your own experience. If you see a lot of posts from people you don't like about things you don't want to see, you can block them and never see them again. They won't see you, either. It's like making friends- you can choose to follow whoever makes you happy and avoid whoever doesn't.

There is a bot problem. Bots are automated spam designed to look like other users. This is often "cute single women" type stuff, but can also be anonymous or generic fake blogs that send out a thousand identical messages that accuse you or others of wrongdoing, or just send out basic insults. They will never see your reply. They only exist to cause chaos. You can report and block them and are encouraged to do so.

There is a difference between "liking" and "reblogging". If you "like" something, it is added to an invisible list so you can go back and find it later. If you "reblog" something, your followers can see it too. Artists prefer reblogs over likes, because they put a lot of work into their art (or writing) and the only way they can reach a large audience is if lots of people share it. Artists who are trying to get commissions or develop a career depend on reblogs to continue making art.

Sometimes an update or change happens that alters the website without any warning and everyone whines about it and adapts. This happens every few months. It's kind of dumb and sometimes makes it worse but if you Google "tumblr 2012" you will see that it's actually been a slow march of improvement.

Something weird will happen on April fool's day. Sometimes this will affect the website layout.

You will not get many followers unless you engage with other users. This is a cafeteria and if you wanna eat alone you can.

If any of your posts go viral you will see it forever until you die and if it's about Beans you will live out the rest of your days getting messages like "Are you Bean Guy" so tread lightly

You will need to choose an icon and change the appearance of your blog or people will think you are a bot. (Side effect of the bot problem.)

I have no idea if you are a bot or spam message this reply is an act of faith

Good luck!

#Long post

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d4rkpluto · 2 years

Text

𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔬𝔤𝔶 𝔬𝔟𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰 𝔢𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔢𝔢𝔫

JUST TO SUPPORT

♇ those who have mars harshly aspecting mercury [ conjunctions included ] have terrible, terrible temper.

♇ aquarius placements really like to tussle or fight, [ including myself lol ] like all the people that used to fight a lot in my school had aqua placements or 11h placements or uranus placements.

♇ mike tyson has uranus aspecting pluto

♇ joseline hernandez an aqua mars

♇ i, an aquarius sun and im known for my moments here on tumblr

♇ people who have neptune aspect the ascendant, specifically sextile, get away with stuff, like a lot.

♇ having jupiter in the second house causes someone to have a big appetite to the point they dont know when to stop, well not all of them

♇ i think i mentioned this before but having sagittarius in your big six, or prominent in your chart, jupiter in your 1h or 4h along with it being prominent in your chart indicates that there is something foreign about your lineage. many people i've met who've had sag degrees, sag in their big six or whatever were always foreign.

♇ those with juno in the first house might be perceived as marriage material.

♇ those with south node in their 11h might've had a lot of karmic friends. or could've had friends that were friends with them in the past life.

♇ south node in the 7h = karmic relationships.

♇ south node isnt really spoken about in astrology; well tumblr, the south node doesnt only speak about your past life it can also speak about the present. the south node is known to be talented when it comes to spiritual gifts, if it is aspecting your moon it is a beacon of you being very spiritually talented. especially if it is aspecting your ceres or neptune.

♇ people with sagittarius and aquarius in their big two and not taking anything seriously or being very smiley people; bonus if aries is in their big six

-♇ i once had a post about how jupiter/neptune natives are truly the most loved. princess diana a sagittarius rising, michael jackson a pisces rising, and marilyn monroe had neptune in her first house. out of every celebrities, their death are always spoke about till this day.

♇ chiron in the 12h in a synastry or composite indicates of past life relationship; chiron in 12h natal chart definitely means there's some healing from the past life you need to do currently.

♇ those with cancer in there big six, specifically big three or prominent 4h placements have internet/youthful humour.

♇ sagittarius risings are also known for their smiles! and as it rules over the dolls, i must've said it before, but it makes them give big bratz vibes.

♇ main fandom houses are the 7h, 9h and 11h, so if you wanna see how your fans would be check there!

♇ even though leo is a fame sign, the main one is actually pisces; leo is more theatre kid and pisces is more flashlights, paparazzi and glamour.

♇ 20° is the ultimate obsessive degree, celebrities that are heavily fixated a lot have this degree in their chart, is the type of fame indicator which gets people hooked, for example, beyonce, ariana grande; ariana who has it on her rising and her appearance is always debated and copied. nba youngboy, travis scott, kim kardashian, kylie jenner, billie eilish, aaliyah, and selena gomez and so on.

♇ the degree is also an indicator of witch craft or just being around it or people theorise them doing it.

♇ pluto in 4h/12h/scorpio moon/8h moon/cancer 8h/cancer 12h = hidden pregnancy, or not being seen in public pregnant.

pluto

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myobsessionsspace · 2 months

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hi i need to say this to SOMEONE 😭 but the general fandom is soo weird about jikook. whenever i see tiktoks the vibes of the comments are so different when its jikook. its so normal to see stuff like "thats his baby" "soulmates" "they love each other so much" "i love them together" when its abt any other pairing but for jikook tiktoks its just comment after comment of people emphasizing the word friendship. like fandom cannot interact w jikook content unless they make sure EVERYONE KNOWS that theyre JUST FRIENDS and i do not see this with other pairings and i do not understand why

Hi Lovely,

You can always come say things here 🫶

It’s crazy because I was just talking to a friend today about something similar!!

I was saying to her that I don’t even want the general public or all of the fandom to ship Jikook. I just want them to acknowledge them as close.

To be honest there are unhinged shippers in everytime subsection, Jikookers included. It’s understandable people that want no parts in shipping because it can go really left of the field, from the hyper feminisation of Jimin, the hyper masculinisation of Jungkook, the a/b/o tropes that people want to fit into everything they do, the hyper sexualisation of them, trying to make their every breath about the ship etc.

It’s understandable that lots of people want to just enjoy the members without all that extra.

What’s not understandable is the total erasure of Jikook even being BFFs, the super focus on certain duos that are not as volatile territory like ‘woah, thighs’, and how it’s fun to trend ‘rapper’s girlfriend’ but crickets from the fandom as a whole and only real noise from jikookers when ‘Jimin Hyung can handle it’ ‘I’m not that easy’ happed in front of our salad?!

That’s not US taking it there, that’s THEM 😩

My friend and I were saying that there are people that do see more when it comes to Jikook but because there aren’t enough big spaces that embrace the unique aspects of Jikook they try shipping spaces, but it’s not for the weak hearted. Some just see Jikook as interesting but not down to the #jikookisreal level and so when they dip their toes in they dip right back out.

Becca aka @wingzie did a post on how there are more jikookers than we may have thought:

I do get you anon, but I’m not so bothered if Jikook were to be acknowledged as ‘just friends’, heck I rarely see Jimin and Jungkook’s names in the same sentence unless it’s with the inclusion of other members or their musical records.

To be real, I care more that they’re not acknowledged as BEST FRIENDS, as closer than close. I see a lot of ‘that’s his baby brother’ ‘that’s just Jimin, he’s like that with all of them’, don’t even get me started on the pass around Jimin narrative that some use 😑.

I too see on a whole some actions that Jimin & Jungkook do that jikookers think is just for Jikook that truthfully isn’t, that can be seen with all seven. More jikookers do need to start dispelling those misguided Jikook lores in addition to dispelling anti Jikook narratives.

BUT I also see when there are things just Jikook that get skilfully ignored.

It’s super frustrating but at the same time it’s not. Because, really, do we want millions upon millions trending every little thing about Jikook if they are real and not explicitly out? I’d rather have the ones that can’t see anything because they have underlying prejudices to stay not seeing anything, because do Jikook need those kind of eyes on them?

Maybe a smaller bubble of jikookers being convinced and spotting their moments, in comparison to the fandom as a whole acknowledging something different with Jikook vs other ships, allows for jikookers to to keep jikooking ‘safely’.

The majority of people that DO see Jikook, see them for the unique softness, fondness, adoration, sweet words and actions, fun and spicy bond they have and want to celebrate it and protect it.

Appreciating Jikook doesn’t need to have millions of people. To be honest with or without us watching, Jikook will keep Jikooking. So let those that see them, enjoy and let those that don’t see them, miss out on a beautiful thing.

Thank you for being comfortable enough to send me your ask.

💜

#Jikook #Jungkook #Jimin #Kookmin #Minkook #Anonymous Asks

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thought--bubble · 1 month

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Taking a little breaky break

This is just a heads up for my small little group of people on here. I have come to call my friends. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm going to be taking a much needed respite from tumblr and probably discord, too. I am feeling lost, sad,overwhelmed, and confused.

I know it sounds silly or whatnot, but all of this stuff is overwhelming and depressing, and I feel sick when I open this app at this point.

The best word to use, I guess, would be winded, maybe?

I joined Tumblr in Sept 23, and at first, it was really fun, a much needed escape from my daily never-ending list of crap to do.

I unfortunately learned how crazy this fandom can get early on and the hard way. I had hoped that that was just a one-off due to my newbie ignorance and took it as a lesson learned for myself.

But it's starting to feel like the drama never fucking stops. It just keeps going, and nice people, kind people, just get dragged and ridiculed for seemingly no reason. I will pathetically admit that I am a sensitive soul, and the things I've read and seen have seriously negatively affected me.

When people are catty regarding people they don't like or that don't like them, I can usually reconcile that to a particular degree. People are, in fact, people. Not everyone is going to vibe with everyone, and people will make jokes at others' expense, and it isn't exactly mature, but it happens.

That is what I expected when I heard this was coming. Some catty shit slinging between people who don't like each other.

But that isn't all this was, and I'm having a really hard time with that. I even thought, "Oh maybe some moderately rude jokes here and there where you know cultural differences and stuff could account for that" like I'm from the northeast and we can be harsh out here. So something that may be offensive to someone from another area may be looked at here just as a joke made in poor taste.

I know I myself have made jokes or whatnot, but you would think certain things would be off limits.

I thought I could combat the negative with positives. Silly jokes, little messages filled with love, but even that isn't working at this point.

My heart hurts, and my brain hurts.

And all this stuff has made me question myself. I had a block list a mile long for the longest time. Filled predominantly with people I had never spoken to because I was scared, nervous, I didn't want to accidentally interact with a post of someone who would be upset that I did, I unfollowed blogs I liked based on this same principle. I just desperately did not want to make someone mad or uncomfortable and find myself back in some weird mean anon tornado.

I tried to sus out who would be bothered by my presence and who wouldn't. I can't even know if my thoughts on who may or may not be upset by me were based on my paranoia or a perception i developed or was potentially affected by outside sources.

Now, i just don't know what the hell is going on.

Sorry for the word vomit. Just wanted to be honest. There are some of us out here who are just standing around with question marks over our heads.

Maybe it's because I wasn't here for a lot of that other weirdness. Maybe it's because of early events that shaped my experience on this app, but I for sure 100% need a break.

I'm an odd duck and love this app mostly because it's the only site I've seen where others actively fan-girl over my favorite Ewan character.

But right now, not even my love for Will can keep me on this app, and for those who know me, that's truly saying something.

This post is not meant to badmouth anyone at all. Honestly at this point I couldn't bad mouth anyone because I'm fucking lost on who anyone really is or how they really feel about things, dude I'm just plain lost.

Thank you to those who have been kind. My apologies to those I may have judged or assumed things about based on who the hell knows.

I hope that when I come back, I can open this app without yet another person that I like having a post of them being torn apart. Or a post of a story that I had heard being told in a completely different way and throwing me for a complete loop.

For now I am going to watch Will edits on TikTok and maybe read via Ao3.

Love and healing vibes to all.

#To my lovelies #I'll be back #I'm just not sure when #hotd fandom

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