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swanimagines ¡ 6 hours
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can you talk about meeting freddy??? so cool that u did omg!!!
Haha of course! I'm still buzzing about it 🥰
Ok so, I'll go day by day. Below read more we go:
After the opening ceremony, there was a meet & greet for Gold ticket holders (including me). At Starfury, meet & greet means we're in these large rooms with round tables, and the guests/cast come to our tables one by one and talk with us for a few minutes.
Well, after the first guest left our table (Amita, who was an angel btw 😭❤️), I changed seats at our table to sit with my friends.
Well then Freddy comes and sits right next to me. And I'm like 😳
Well, he asked how are we. I looked at my feet and noticed I left my bag next to my old chair, so I said I'm gonna get it and Freddy apologised for it for some reason?? I just said "no no it's fine".
I listened to the conversation with my other ear while fetching my bag so I could dive right back into the conversation, but I thought one of my friends saying their name.
So, because Amita began with asking our names, I assumed Freddy does too.
So when I sit back down, I smile at Freddy and say "Jenni".
He leans closer and says "sorry?"
And I thought he doesn't hear me so I lean closer too and SHOUT "MY NAME IS JENNI!!!!!!!!"
He looks at me confused and I'm just thinking "why is he confused, he asked our names?? Oh his eyes are so blue..."
Then he repeated my name after me, he got it right the second time and I'm like "oh you pronounced it pretty good!" (No one who's not Finnish ever gets it, so it was really weird to hear Freddy saying it correctly 😂)
And then
He turns to others and asks their names.......
So I had just screamed my name at his face unprompted and without anyone asking 😊
I was silent after that and don't remember what he talked about for the rest of the time of him sitting there 😭
Saturday. The day began with Photo OPs and I was nervous af. Which resulted into me looking like a potato in all my pictures and I forgot to smile with my teeth 😭 But the hug was good. He first wrapped only one arm around me and I hugged him from the side but then turned to me fully and wrapped the other arm around me too. I look so dazed in that pic 😂 + He touched my hair.
At the autograph table, I told him about my gift which contained a letter and two Finnish chocolate bars (Fazer) because the other is for Caroline. He told me I'm sweet for thinking about her too 😭
And the last thing happened on Sunday, at the second round of autographs. We got a group photo of them for free and we could get them to sign it again. So this time, I wanted to clarify that the letter may read as trauma-dumpy but I'm not trying to make him feel sad, and told him to just read it. He promised to read it, and I proceeded telling him as a short version of what the letter contains. (Him inspiring me back into photography and it helping me cope when my dad died the following summer)
He said "oh, I'm so sorry" and then asked to see my photos 😭 (I had my camera hanging around my neck) So there we were with out heads nearly pressed together looking through my pics for about 10 seconds 😭❤️ The autograph did a flap flap flap noise in my hand while we did it, and my hand shook for a few minutes after I walked away.
That's it. But I'll meet him again next year, he'll probably bring me his therapy receipt for shouting at him so kinda obliged to 🤷🏻‍♀️
(And at the closing ceremony, I got the best seat to take photos and people think I was one of the hired professional photographers there because of those + Sunday panels photos 😂 My photos are constantly shared around the internet now. Which is cool, but the less cool thing is that they go around without credits because they think I was hired there)
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swanimagines ¡ 14 hours
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About BatBP schedules for those interested (and an explanation why I've been so absent/slow to publish new stuff):
I've tried to decide what is the best option for a while now. I want BatBP/Bastard and the Blood Princess readers to know when will the next chapter be published as it has gotten an influx of readers and it no longer is a "whatever, no one cares" situation, so I've decided to publish three requests before each BatBP chapter. I've posted only BatBP since last August, minus the Gideon piece in January and Peeta yesterday, so I think it's time to start doing my requests again properly. This means I have 2 oneshots to post before the next BatBP chapter, as The Favourite (Gideon) was posted about two weeks before Chapter 8 of SaB (can't check because AO3 is under maintentance).
Also a reminder that from that pile of fics I posted here a month ago were posted on AO3 last year, so they weren't "new" and I don't write new stuff fast enough to be able to post daily, or usually even weekly. I recently came back to cross-post here, which is why I posted all that.
This became long, so more below:
Also I know a lot of you are waiting for my new SaB pieces/oneshots, I've been staying away from those because of BatBP but now I may be doing them too again as I'm intending to do my requests semi-regularly as well. Though I will be filling my requests for my other fandoms too, and I don't plan on doing what I did last year, 80% of my published content being either fot SaB or one of Freddy's characters (not Kaz).
I have a few reasons for why I've been slow, one reason being that a thing our family has been afraid of for years is now finally happening. Another reason being that I've moved away from where I lived in previously, and a lot of overwhelming stuff has been on the table since this year began because of it as I'm expected to do and be more than I was, despite being incredibly stressed and overwhelmed all the time. And this takes away from my energy to write anything. Requests, BatBP, stuff I write for myself only, I haven't written anything for months, only proofread and edited stuff that was already written and waiting to be published, and there's a bunch of that waiting for me to proofread/edit to be published next.
I don't want to vent about my personal life in detail anymore here, but I hope you will understand that my life is very stressful right now and I'm trying my best to go through your requests, but I'm not a Superwoman and I've learned to set myself a limit so I won't burn out again. And yes, I know there are a lot of writers who publish long pieces daily, every other day, several times a week, and some of you throw me with usernames and compare me to them, and then get back to me with a frustrated message when I don't answer because I don't want to pull them into any drama. Especially when some of them are my ex-friends from when I still was one of the "main" group.
Also I do have one half-excuse why I haven't been writing much after coming back from the con. I feel slightly weird of writing for Freddy's characters/proofreading my finished pieces for them rn because I got to talk to him and hug him a month ago, and I'm still recovering from that shock 😅 Which is also one of the reasons I haven't written anything new for them. But I'm training myself back into it, because I do feel incredibly motivated and inspired to write 100001 pieces for them at one sitting.
But yeah! This was the thing I wanted to talk about, thank you for reading this far. I possibly have a new piece coming tomorrow (gotta go to shower and sleep in an hour), I just need to sort my ready to publish requests out and decide which one I'll publish next 👍🏻
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swanimagines ¡ 2 days
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Hi! Can I get E12 + Peeta Mellark! Thank you!
Prompt: E12. Sitting by the fire
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When you first met Peeta, you had never paid a thought on developing a crush on him when you'd grown up. You were actually annoyed by him trying to be your friend - you had always been alone, you had survived alone. You didn't need someone coddling you like a child. Even when you were children at the time.
Him not caring about you trying to push you away eventually developed into a tentative friendship. You still had your walls up, but Peeta just... knew what to say, how to chip your walls away. He even got you to open up a few times. You told him about always being an outcast in your District - District 9. People there seemed to think there was some kind of curse upon you, as everyone around you was always sent to be hunted at the Hunger Games, and they never won. Even those who said they didn���t believe in it, had started to avoid you.
And in a way, you were scared about it too. Letting anyone close would sentence them to death, so you started to avoid any friendships, any kind of relationships. Eventually, you fled your District, smuggled yourself to the farthest District you could get to. You built yourself a little hut in the woods and did as much by yourself as possible.
You knew that getting caught would end up in great trouble, but at least that trouble would only be bestowed upon you. Hardly no one knew who you were, where you came from and why you are rarely seen and don’t talk to anyone.
You were barely a teenager when you arrived in District 12. In the middle of the night, you found yourself a place to be, and only a month later, you first met Peeta, who had become curious of the mysterious person who lives by themselves in the woods. Compared to how your relationship left off, you shouting at him to get out of your property and then giving him silent treatment when he kept coming back, it was a surprise you had grown close over these three years.
Still, every year you dreaded the Games coming again. Year by year, the feeling grew - this time Peeta would get chosen. This time he would die. This time the curse would hit him too.
And every year, Peeta came over the previous night and stayed with you, reassuring you that he wouldn’t leave you. He reminded you about how narrow the chance is, he held your hand, making your heart race, making all the flashbacks take a step back.
The flames danced in your eyes as Peeta held your hand. He ran his thumb over your knuckles, staring into the fire with you, and you swallowed.
“What if… what if it happens this time?” you mumbled. “You have more and more entries every year, and you’re already sixteen. The chance grows each time, and–”
“I know,” Peeta interrupted you. “I just try to not think about it.”
You huffed. “I’ve only been at the Reaping two times. And both times, someone I knew was chosen and died. I was probably the only one there who wished it would be me. I would have thrown myself at someone purposefully, so I wouldn’t curse anyone ever again.”
You saw from the corner of your eye that Peeta had turned his head towards you. Some years ago, back when you met, he might have told you you’re not a curse, just incredibly unlucky. And how everyone in your District surely knew you somehow, they would have accused you about anyone. But now, he just let go of your hand and pulled you into him, stroking your back as you leaned against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
He still said it, but wordlessly. He knew you appreciated it more than him saying it. Words had little weight compared to actions with you. Yet another thing Peeta knew to do just right, which anyone else didn’t know how to do. You almost felt like he was meant to be there, you were meant to meet him. As if he was your soulmate, like in some silly romance book you once read when Peeta gave you that as a gift.
You wished you had enough courage to kiss him, you wished you would just sit up and lean in. Take the leap, take the risk. But you were still afraid, after all this time - if Peeta was chosen, his likely rejection would feel even more crushing. And if he returned your feelings and was chosen - your heart would break once he was killed. And in any case, you believed it was Katniss he wanted. Not you. Who would want you anyway?
Lying here against him was a momentary comfort for what tomorrow would bring. You wouldn’t be able to attend - officials would return you to District 9 right after they discovered you don’t belong in District 12. You always hid away on that day. District 9 had likely announced you dead by now, not seen for years.
“You come right back to me when the Reaping is over,” you muttered, feeling his hand rubbing your arm. “I want to know immediately when you get out. The feeling is worse this year.”
“You say that every year.”
“But this year it’s actually worse, a lot worse.”
He didn’t reply, just sighed, knowing there was no use in arguing. You were quiet for a moment again, before Peeta shifted slightly.
“It’s late. Do you want me to stay over?”
You slowly sat up, meeting his eyes briefly. “I may not be able to sleep.”
He stood up and held his hand out to you. “Then you’ll listen to me snoring. Maybe that will comfort you.”
You bit back a smile at that, taking his hand and letting him pull you up. You stood there for a moment, and you swore you saw him glancing at your lips. And at that moment, a voice started chanting in your head.
Kiss him.
Kiss him.
Kiss him.
But you pulled away, clearing your throat. Peeta frowned at you, and you took in a shaky breath. “Are you sure you want to come over?”
He stared at you for a moment and nodded, and you kicked dirt on the fireplace to extinguish the flames. You then turned towards your hut, but were stopped by Peeta grasping your hand. “Wait.”
You turned back to face him, cocking your head. He smiled, a kind of smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and your heart started to race.
“What is it?” you whispered, somehow knowing where this was going, but you didn’t dare hope.
“I said I don’t believe I’ll be chosen, but… if I still–”
You shook your head. “Don’t say that, it’s enough that I’m–”
He interrupted you, “I want to look at you one last time. I want to remember your face if I end up dying on that battlefield.”
Your lips parted slightly, and you blinked at him. “Peeta, what are you–”
“Shh.”
And then, his lips were on yours, and the world seemed warmer once more.
---
Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S)
I do not do taglists!
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swanimagines ¡ 8 days
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Thank youuu!! ❤️ Glad this old thing entertains someone!
More than enough
Request: What about Peter getting protective and comforting his wife when she’s upset because someone said something mean and disrespectful to her? :) @for-doritos-and-aslan
Fandom: Narnia, Peter Pevensie x fem!reader
Warnings: Slight angst
A/N: This takes place in Narnia! And the reader has had some earlier problems at relationships, hopefully you don’t mind. It just seemed fitting the picture.
Word count: 617
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Keep reading
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swanimagines ¡ 13 days
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Ohhh hiii I've missed you ❤️❤️
Thank you, glad you liked it 💕
HC: KAZ IS A PROTECTIVE UNOFFICIAL BIG BROTHER FOR A TRAUMATISED READER
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 - Kaz was 18 years old when he first saw you - a shivering child, barely even a teenager, bruises covering your body and just underwear on.
- He knew from the first glance that you were from one of the pleasure houses, judging by how you peered towards the street full of them.
- Kaz didn’t really know what came over him - maybe you reminded him of himself as a child to some extent. A broken child with nowhere to go.
- Or maybe Inej was whispering into his ear across the seas, urging him to save you.
- So with a sigh, Kaz limped towards you, and you backed up into the corner the moment you saw him - Dirtyhands approaching you was probably even more scary than your master finding you - or at least on par with it.
- You had probably been taught he rips hearts out and eats them while they are still beating, like one of the newest rumours said.
- But instead, after Kaz had glanced around, he shed off his coat and held it out for you.
- You stared at him with wide eyes, then at the coat, then again at him.
- So Kaz sighed again, took a careful step towards you and laid the coat around you.
- You let out a breath, furrowing your brows as you looked up at him, carefully pulling the coat tighter around you. You clearly had not expected the turn of events.
- Kaz then nodded towards the Slat before turning away, and you silently followed him - some semblance of trust had been established.
- He was probably the first person to show even some kind of kindness to you in a long time, even if he was the most feared crime boss around, and you knew you had two options - returning to the pleasure house or following Dirtyhands. And only the first option had a certain severe beating, even death, so you chose the latter.
- When you arrived at the Slat, people fell silent. You were dirty and terrified, with Kaz’s coat wrapped around you.
“Jesper,” Kaz had called, and a Zemeni man with two guns on his waist strode towards you.
- You immediately staggered back, hiding behind Kaz - men with guns often meant you’d be threatened next, and then you’d be forced into something horrible.
- The man frowned at your reaction, and talked with Kaz for a moment. You barely heard what they were saying, your eyes too fixated on the guns.
- A boy with messy hair came to you next - his eyes kind, and you found yourself relaxing a little. He extended a hand towards you, and you looked at Kaz, who nodded and you took the boy’s hand, letting him lead you to a bathroom. And you were able to have a bath all by yourself - relax there, taking your sweet time. Your master wasn’t brushing you with a sponge until your skin was red and irritated, you could lay in the warm water, wash away the grime, wash your hair and just… feel you were safe.
- At least for now. You knew from experience you couldn’t trust anyone before they had truly shown you they were to be trusted.
- Even when the Bastard of the Barrel, somehow, made you trust him almost instantly.
- There just was something strange about him - something familiar. You had a feeling he had understood you somehow.
- When you rose from the bath, wrapping a towel around you and changing into way too big clothes - you made your way out from the bathroom and made your way back downstairs.
- Your eyelids had started to feel heavy from relaxing for so long in the bath and when Kaz noticed it, he gestured you to come with him, and you made your way to the attic. 
- There, he made you a bed on his sofa.
“You can sleep here,” he had said, and you swallowed before slowly lying down and pulling the blanket over you.
- You didn’t know if you had ever slept somewhere so comfortable as his sofa was - your “bed” at the pleasure house had been a plank you regularly got splinters from. So it didn't take long for you to fall asleep.
- You had woken up to Kaz coming to sleep as well, but were quickly falling back asleep again after you realised he’s not going to assault you.
- In the coming weeks, Kaz grows to be fiercely protective of you.
- One time, you actually saw one of the men who had spent a night with you as you were at the Club - and Kaz immediately told his goons to throw the guy out.
- He hadn’t even done anything while there, but Kaz wanted to protect you.
- Of course, he didn’t tell anyone the reason why he threw that guy out…
- You both suffer from nightmares, Kaz pushes his own nightmares aside to do his best to comfort you with your own nightmares.
"They fade over time," he had told you one night, as you had woken up screaming and had been rocking yourself back and forth, hugging your knees. Kaz had come running to see what's the matter, and seeing your tear-stained cheeks told him everything he needed to know.
You had looked up to him, huffing. "How are you supposed to know that?"
Kaz didn't reply right away, just held his cane, running his thumb over the crow head as he looked at the floor.
"They do," he then repeated, standing up from beside you and leaving the room. You had sat there for a moment longer, before you had laid down again, attempting to continue sleeping.
- Overtime, Kaz realised he cared for you - he felt like he was your big brother.
- After Inej came back from her sea adventures, she quickly became something between a mother and an aunt to you.
- She grew to love you just as much as her boyfriend did, even when Kaz didn’t show it as much as Inej.
- Inej could offer you peer support, when Kaz protected you from harm.
- And of course, Jesper and Wylan grew close to you too.
- Sometimes, you fell asleep against Kaz’s shoulder, and he let you - you had grown close to him, and he was recovering from his own traumas, touch wasn’t that big of an issue anymore.
- Having you leaning against his shoulder, touching him through his shirt, your hair slightly touching his neck - it didn’t feel that bad. 
- He barely felt water hovering over his toes. Actually he wasn’t even sure if it was water or if it was a draft blowing through the floor.
- He could touch Inej skin to skin too, so you being his unofficial little sibling could rest against him if that were to happen.
- When you were outside, he made sure you wouldn’t drift too far from them, the Barrel was full of dangers. Especially if someone from your old pleasure house would see you.
- Fortunately most knew you were under his protection.
- And as you became older, you were healing a lot faster than Kaz was - and even though he knew he wasn’t actually your brother, he sure felt like one - a proud brother.
- Kaz didn’t believe in Saints, but he still felt like something had brought him up to you, at the right time - something had just clicked.
- And now his family had one more member.
Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)
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swanimagines ¡ 13 days
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Hi hun! I haven't been on tumblr in forever! I miss you so much and I hope you are doing well <3
OMG HIIIII 💕
Well, I have some unexpected stuff in my life going on currently which is why I still haven't written anything new after coming back in here (or returning to crosspost here). May try to write something soon to cope though.
But overall I'm fine enough. I met some new friends + some pretty awesome people two weeks ago, I don't know if you've checked my IG lately buuuuut 😏 Heh. (And next year I'll do it all over again, that time first live meeting with a long time friend I first met here in Tumblr, she was also a reader insert writer at that time, and getting to hang out with her + those new friends for the weekend!!! 😍)
Come over for a chat when you can!
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swanimagines ¡ 14 days
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Heyyy!! I was the anon who requested a Warren peace x reader fic? I was just wondering if it went through. I hope it’s okay to ask, I never want anyone to feel like I’m rushing or forcing them to write something they don’t want to!
All my love💕
Hey 😊 Yeah it did come through, but there's a thing I've been meaning to ask and would need a fixed request. (But I forgot to reply yesterday because I've been tired and didn't have brains for it) Also something about an important detail you want to be included (reader coming from our world thing).
How is Warren part of the story? You just gave me a lot of details about Will and Will's relationship with reader, but nothing about Warren. I mean, I know you want reader and Warren to date/have crushes on each other, but I don't know how to implement that to the story currently because you gave me nothing about it. Please add some details about it!
And a word of warning that I absolutely SUCK at writing "reader comes from our world" stuff, the scenes where reader comes through a portal and then being like "where am I, what is this world, have you kidnapped me"/"OMG I love this movie, I can't believe I'm actually here!" are super cringe when I write them. 😅 I mean, I have DOZENS of such stories written and I've loved writing them, some of them are from just a few years ago, but I haven't and won't ever show them to anyone apart from some friends because I would bury myself under a 100 blankets if someone else but a good friend who has known me for 10+ years would read them because they've been written for relaxation = I don't really think about the quality or the cringeness of it, and I know I wouldn't be able to write such scenarios otherwise than that.
(And a clarification just in case, I don't think that trope itself is cringe! It's just cringe when I do it. I've read some awesome fics before where either reader is sucked into their world or characters are sucked into our world, but I don't know how to write it like they do)
If you don't want to risk such a disappointing scene to happen, then I'd suggest you tweak your request and take that out, reader being Will's cousin for real and getting shadow manipulation all of a sudden for example, she's insecure about it and Will helping her adjust to Sky High, and then some romance with Warren happens (describe what kind of romance happens). But you do as you want of course, and I'll do my best.
Also, I know this may not be the reason you sent this ask, but just in case it is: your request isn't the next in line. Sometimes when I've gotten asks like these, they sent it because they think their request is the only one in my inbox and will be coming next, and that's why I'm not updating my blog with new fics because I'm writing their request. I've been quiet with updating for personal reasons (unexpected stuff is happening and I'm slow with writing my requests because of that), but there are lots of fics in line to be published next and your request will take a while to come out in case you send it again with that detail I asked you to fix.
---
Edit: Got it 👍🏻
Old request:
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swanimagines ¡ 16 days
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I know you don't write for real people, but are you comfortable to be moots with a writer who has a blog with only real people x readers? I need help from a big writer to get myself started 🥺
No, sorry. I VERY rarely follow any blogs that write RPF, even if they also write fictional characters x readers. I follow those writers only if most of their stuff is fictional characters x readers and rarely real people x reader, because constantly seeing RPF on my dash just makes me uncomfortable :/ Especially if they write for any of my favourite actors (like Freddy), in those cases I wouldn't follow a blog even if they publish a new Freddy x reader piece once in a blue moon, and I would unfollow a writer if they started to write Freddy x readers (and I have done so once). It's nothing personal, seeing Freddy x readers just makes me really uncomfortable and I don't want them on my dash at all and if you're my friend, I'd still like to be friends with you even when we aren't moots anymore.
But yeah, sorry, it just isn't my jam at all.
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swanimagines ¡ 16 days
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WHY IS SO MUCH OF YOUR SHIT SO FUCKING GOOD
THIS ISNT FAIR
i dont have the time to reblog all of these...
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Hehe glad to hear that you're enjoying my stuff 💕 Always makes my day!!!
More incoming, as soon as I get my personal life stuff sorted out 😏
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swanimagines ¡ 17 days
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Hehheh maaaaaybe there will be a part two, I've been twirling some ideas since I wrote this~ Always happy to write fics for Freddy's lesser known characters and see people enjoy them!
And thank you!! ❤️
A BARMAID'S DEAL | JASON RIPPER
Summary: After your ex-friend has terrorised your life for four years, an unexpected saviour comes to your aid - but making a deal with him may pay you more than you thought.
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You couldn't believe how you got in this situation. Befriending a snake of a friend and ending your friendship with her had lasting effects, her using her profession as a lawyer to bring you down, get you fired from your old job and kicked out from your apartment. So now you were forced to work at a shabby bar, the owner was nice enough to let you stay in the back room though.
And even now, Henny’s terrorism on you occasionally emerged - mostly hate mail and your ex-friends scowling at you on the street. It hurt, even when it had been four years since it started. Henny had been patient with taking you down, and four months ago, you got fired from your job and the next week, your landlord also kicked you out. You had no choice but to move to the poorer area of London filled with prostitutes and where Jack the Ripper had murdered women just a few decades ago. But you hadn’t had any choice.
You were fortunate to get hired as a barmaid in a bar with a nice boss and nice colleagues, even when customers smirked at you, smacked your butt when you passed them, you were asked to come sit with them and entertain them. And it had only been a week since you started work.
One day, a young man, a rich young man in a fancy suit stepped into the bar, and you locked eyes with him and he strode towards the counter. Your colleague, Sandra, took in a shaky sigh. "Oh my God, not again."
"What?"
"That's Jason Ripper," Sandra sighed. "He's been harassing me for weeks. He says lewd stuff and says me being scared is 'sexy' and threatens to kill any other man who looks at me in a romantic sense. God, I wish he would be gone."
You laid a wary glance at the man. "I'll take him for you, if you want."
Sandra scoffed. "You can try. But he will insist on getting me to serve him and then I have no choice."
You nodded and took in a deep breath, putting on your best customer smile and walked over to Jason.
“Hello, sir. What can I get you?” you chirped, putting the rag to the side.
Jason huffed slightly upon seeing you. “Where’s Sandra?”
“Miss Onslow is busy, I’m-”
“A new beautiful barmaid,” Jason interrupted, his gaze wandering up and down your form and then he narrowed his eyes as he inspected your face. “But you don’t look like you've grown around here. You look too… polished.”
You paused for a moment, staring at him for a moment. Then you cleared your throat. “Looks can be deceiving, sir.”
Jason smirked, clearly amused by your reply. “In any case, I like what I see. Get me a whiskey, beautiful.”
You took in a shaky breath, taking out a glass and pouring him a whiskey and then handing the glass to him. He purposefully let his fingers brush against yours when he took the glass, and you jerked your hand back. He just smirked at you, taking a sip from the glass. “This place isn’t safe for someone like you.”
You scoffed, wiping the counter again. “What do you mean by ‘someone like me’?”
Jason's eyes traveled up and down your form again. “You’re like an angel who has lost herself into a cave full of demons. Everyone sees it here.”
You clenched your jaw, trying to keep your temper in check. “Fine. I’m not from around here. Nor did I come here of my own free will. Happy?”
He huffed, tilting his head slightly. “Hm. You will get cut out from the streets within six months.”
“I can handle myself just fine.”
He didn’t reply at first, taking another sip of his whiskey. “A beautiful young woman like you doesn’t belong here.”
“I have my reasons to be here. It’s none of your concern,” you retorted.
He just smirked at you. “Your concerns are my concerns now.”
You swallowed - this guy screamed at least a dozen red flags, probably even more than that, and yet you felt a certain allure towards him. 
You wanted to hit yourself for feeling that way.
“What exactly do you want from me?” you mumbled, clenching your fists.
Jason smirked again. “I want to help you.”
“Help me?”
He narrowed his eyes, looking you over again. “You said you didn’t end up here of your own free will. I need a name, and they’ll be taken care of.”
You stared at him for a moment again - this guy read you like an open book. It almost felt like… he understood you. Or then he knew just the right buttons to manipulate you. Nevertheless, you were incredibly tempted to drop Henny’s name. But at the same time, you knew it wouldn’t be free. He’d want something from you.
So, you tried to play it safe. “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Jason licked his lips and raised his eyebrows at that. “You don’t?”
You wanted to deny it again, but instead, you swallowed and the next words came out almost automatically. “I don’t have any money to pay you for taking her out.”
He scoffed, taking another sip. “I don’t want money.”
You frowned. “What do you want, then?” He didn't answer right away and you shook your head, taking a step back. “I’m not going to have sex with you.”
He scoffed again, twirling his now empty whiskey glass. “A date.”
You paused, staring at him again. “One date?”
He smirked and nodded. “A dinner. And I’ll walk you home. That’s it.”
You pursed your lips, breathing out. “No sex. And you will leave Sandra alone from now on.”
He hummed as an answer, which technically wasn’t a confirmation for a no. But still, getting rid of Henny was too tempting so you nodded, taking in a shaky breath. 
Her name rolled off your tongue the next moment, your will to have revenge on the woman who ruined your life overpowering your mind screaming you shouldn’t do it. “Henny Martins.”
Jason looked surprised when you actually went through with it, but then a dark grin spread on his face. “Consider it done. I’ll pick you up tomorrow night, I’ll bring you something sexy to put on.”
Then, he walked to the door, straightening his jacket before disappearing outside. Dread filled your veins, feeling like you just made a deal with the devil.
Sandra sighed in relief upon seeing Jason leaving. "Finally."
You glanced at Sandra. "Yeah, he seems like trouble."
Sandra nodded, shaking her head slightly. "You have no idea. He's been a thorn in my side for weeks now. I don't know what he sees in me, but it's creepy, and sometimes I’m afraid to walk home alone. It just feels like he waits in the shadows for a chance to jump on me."
You looked back at the door. "I... I made a deal with him."
Sandra’s eyes snapped on you that instant, and her mouth fell open. “You did what? Are you crazy?”
“He promised to take Henny out of the picture for me, I couldn’t say no,” you mumbled, clenching and unclenching your fists against the wooden counter. Jason’s whiskey glass was still in front of you, and you stared at the few drops of whiskey on the bottom of it. “He wants to take me on a date in return. I told him it won’t include sex and I also told him to leave you alone from now on, but I don’t know if he agreed to them because he didn’t really say anything about it… and he also told me he’s bringing me something ‘sexy’ to put on, which I really hope isn’t foreshadowing the following night. But on the other hand, he said it’s only dinner and he’s walking me home.”
“And you’re just taking his word for it?” Sandra asked, shaking her head, her mouth still slightly open. “How naive are you?”
“I don’t have a choice!” you exclaimed, attracting some attention from the patrons and you lowered your voice again. “It’s the only way, the police won’t help a poor barmaid living in Whitechapel, and Henny just won’t let me be. I need to do something before she’s ruining my life here too.”
Sandra clicked her tongue silently, her eyes looking over the bar. “I really hope you know what you’re doing.”
You scoffed. “I don’t. But this is my best bet.”
And throughout the rest of that night, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you had made a mistake - but at the same time, you knew this was the only option. And even when you hated yourself for it, something in Jason Ripper drew you in, almost making you wait for your dinner date…
---
Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)
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swanimagines ¡ 17 days
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I already have these requests drafted, they came in on February 24. The requester first put them in the same ask and I asked them to send them separate, and they did.
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In case you're wondering why I'm being slow: there's some personal stuff going on in my own life which has made me unable to write, even though I said I believe I'll be on fire with my motivation as soon as I come back from the convention. But some unexpected stuff has unfortunately happened since I said that and I need to think about stuff before I'm able to return to writing/publishing.
// Nothing related to me planning to quit or anything like that, don't worry. Adding this since someone messaged me with that concern. I'm not planning to quit as for now since I've decided to take it easy and be forgiving for myself if I can't publish "fast enough" for some reason, or even if I don't have a reason aside from feeling unmotivated or lazy. This is something I do for fun and stress isn't fitting the picture, I know that and I will be keeping that in mind from now on so I won't burn out again.
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swanimagines ¡ 23 days
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I had a completely normal weekend.
(Even though my womanly time of the month decided to bloat my face just on the photo OP day)
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swanimagines ¡ 24 days
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Hahaha yeah I loooove writing for Kaz when he's like this 💕 Thank you for reading!!
(And sorry for late answer, I didn't check Tumblr over the weekend because I was having a vacation and my internet usage was mostly WhatsApp and Instagram)
FAMILY WITHIN | KAZ BREKKER
Summary: You have a crush on Kaz, and Jesper and Nina have taken it as their mission to get you two together - and maybe the first step succeeds.
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You had never been one to believe in love at first sight. But Kaz Brekker changed that view, as the man pretty much stole your heart like a thief he was the moment you had first talked with him. It was foolish to fall for a man like him, you knew that - but you really couldn’t help it.
And after some weeks of drooling after him, you had ended up confiding about your feelings to Nina who had picked up your heartbeat and told you that. And Jesper had of course overheard it too. At first, they had been surprised about it and then tried to not talk about it and that lasted for months, and you knew it was because they knew it’s highly unlikely Kaz would ever develop feelings for you too. Even though Kaz always joined you for breakfast, asked you to help him with planning heists and all that. But lately, Kaz had stopped joining you on the breakfast table and also insisted he no longer needed you for planning heists, and somehow Jesper and Nina both had been on you, pestering you into talking to Kaz about something else than work. They had presented you a ridiculous idea - about Kaz liking you back and avoiding you because he tries to suppress his feelings.
“What would I even say to him? ‘Hey Kaz! It’s a beautiful day! Customers love our drinks! Come join me to a cup of coffee!’” you mock-cheerfully said, swinging your head as you did, and then rolled your eyes, your shoulders slumping. “He’d look at me weird and then steer the discussion to somewhere else. Somewhere else being, in other words, work.”
“Well…” Jesper squinted his other eye, the corner of his lips going up. “You could… tell him that you’ve noticed him avoiding you outside work and asking if there’s a reason. And then proceed hinting you have feelings for him. You shouldn’t tell him straight up about your feelings, but-” 
You scoffed, cutting your friend off. “Oh Jesper, wow, a great idea!” you exclaimed, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “But I’d rather die. Honestly you guys, you think Kaz would ever love me back? No. He avoids me because he thinks I’m annoying.”
Nina laid a look at the man sitting little farther away, looking through something. “I wish you would hear his heartbeat when he looks at you. It jumps, every time he sees you. He may be good in hiding his feelings on the outside, but his heartbeat doesn’t lie.”
“And the looks he lays on you, he surely doesn’t do it on purpose, but they scream how he’s crazy about you.” Jesper smirked, glancing at Kaz too.
You sighed, lowering your gaze at your drink, willing yourself not to look at Kaz with them. “Don’t do that,” you mumbled. “Don’t give me false hopes.”
Nina’s smile faded away from that. “Why would I give you false hopes? I would never ridicule you, especially not about matters like this.”
Jesper nodded, taking a sip of his drink before looking at you. “You are one my best friends. You helped me with Wylan, so it’s my turn to help you with Kaz.”
You were quiet for a moment. “Kaz says love is a weakness.”
Jesper shrugged, wrinkling his nose. “Yeah, because he doesn’t want to admit he’s fallen for you.”
You finally risked a glance at Kaz, secretly hoping you’d catch him glance at you too - you could smile softly at him, and see a hint of whether Nina and Jesper were right. But of course he didn’t. His eyes were glued on the parchment in front of him.
Nina’s hand grabbed your shoulder as she leaned close to your ear. “Go to him. Offer your help.”
You swallowed, trying to tell your feet to get up, to walk to Kaz, see how he reacts if you actually went to him, sat across from him - started to speak with him.
You shook your head. “I- I can’t.”
Nina sighed, standing up. “If you won’t, I’ll go tell him myself.”
Your gaze snapped at Nina that instant, grabbing her arm. “You wouldn’t.”
She smirked. “If that’s the only way to get the train leave the station, then yes, I would. I’m tired of watching you two drooling at each other.”
You stood up as well then, smoothing out your trousers and shirt, feeling your face heat up in a rapid pace. “Right. Okay. I’ll go.”
Nina and Jesper shared a look of victory, and you turned around, taking in a deep breath as you made your way to Kaz. He looked up to you when you approached, holding his gaze for a second before dropping it back down at the parchment - which you now saw being a blueprint.
“Another heist?” you asked, maybe a little too briskly and then pursed your lips. “Um, can I sit here?”
Kaz glanced up to you again, sighing before dropping it back on the parchment. “Why?”
“Bored. Jesper and Nina are talking about their love lives, and um, I felt lonely so- no no, that came out wrong, I don’t mean–” your heartbeat quickened up again and your face heated up even more. “Um, I mean, I saw you sitting here and thought that… it’s nice to sit with my boss sometimes?”
You wanted to slap yourself for being so awkward and grimaced at yourself when Kaz wasn’t looking. He paused for a moment, before nodding just slightly. You sat down across from him, trying to shift yourself so you wouldn’t look suspicious before you dropped your eyes on the parchment, inspecting it for a moment. “Van der Velden manor?”
Kaz frowned, looking up at you again. “You know it?”
A soft smile spread on your lips, remembering your childhood. “There used to be a playground nearby. We always played there with my friends as children, the old housekeeping lady was always shouting at us over the fence to keep our voice down. We weren’t even that loud,” you snorted and then paused for a moment. “Is there something special to snatch?”
Kaz squinted his eyes at you for a moment, before he nodded slowly. “An artefact came in a couple of weeks ago. Priceless, they call it. It’s a jewelry set called ‘Wonder of the Sea’. It’s worth looking into.”
You nodded, laying your hands on the table as you leaned forward to inspect the blueprint more carefully. You bit your lip, tapping your fingers against the wood, squeezing your eyes shut. Then you slowly looked up, forcing your eyes open. “Kaz?”
“Hm?”
“Why have you avoided me?”
He paused, but not lifting his gaze from the blueprint. You could almost see wheels turning in his head. Then he continued tracing his finger along the hallway. “I haven’t avoided you.”
Of course he said that.
“Um, okay. It’s just that, we used to eat breakfast together and sit together til late night looking through blueprints. And now, suddenly, you have said you no longer have time for breakfast and you also don’t need my help. I just… it doesn’t feel likely that these two things changed so suddenly and I’d like to know if… I did something or if there’s–” you swallowed. “If there’s anything… else?”
Kaz paused again for a few seconds. “What else would there be?”
You mulled over your words. You knew you wouldn’t be able to ask if he has feelings for you this early on, nor you could confess your feelings for him, but you didn’t know how else would you reply to his question. So instead, you left the question unanswered and you sat in silence for a good fifteen minutes, only listening to the noise the Crow Club provided.
Then you spoke again. “Why have you started to come down here to work?”
“Change of scenery.”
“A quiet office switched to noisy club area?”
“I’m not working here on game nights. And it’s easier to keep customers on check if they know I’ll see when they misbehave.”
You fell silent for a minute again, before you mumbled, maybe without thinking it through, “I heard you’re only working down here when I’m here.”
“Nothing more than a coincidence.”
Of course not.
“Kaz, I… I want you to know that I’ll always be grateful that you took me in to the Dregs. I’ve found a family here.” Within you, you wanted to add, but knew it’d be too bold.
Kaz’s dark eyes flickered up to meet yours again, and this time he held his gaze for longer than last time. You offered him a soft smile, before he turned to look at the blueprint again. You then stood up, going back to Nina and Jesper, who were immediately asking about how it went. But you didn’t even know how it had went - the discussion had given mixed signals. Nina assured you that Kaz’s heartbeat jumped every time you spoke to him - and you really hoped it’s true.
—
Mornings in Ketterdam weren’t pretty. There wasn’t sunlight and only birds singing were crows. So it wasn’t easy to wake up, but you forced yourself to get out of the bed anyway - sleeping in could result in being late from breakfast, and since lunch was often very late, you didn’t want to miss it.
You dressed up and made your way downstairs, stretching and yawning as you went, and once at kitchen, you set the table with a loaf of bread and butter and went to take a cup from the cupboard. Then you heard a click from behind you, and got startled slightly, turning around with wide eyes to see Kaz standing there. You let out a chuckle of relief, clutching your heart.
“Kaz, you scared me,” you breathed out. “Um, did you need anything?”
He just looked over at the little table. “I supposed I could have some breakfast.”
You stared at him for a moment, before realising that the talk you had had yesterday maybe had some effect on him, and you couldn’t help but grin, nodding and taking another cup from the cupboard.
And so you sat at the breakfast table together for the first time in weeks, and even though you didn’t really talk, you felt like this could develop into something more over time…
Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)
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swanimagines ¡ 29 days
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SCHEDULED: Currently sitting in the plane to London, so one last reminder:
If you message me, comment on my fics on any platform or interact with me in any way, I'll see it on next Tuesday. Only place I'll be available in is IG, but that's only for friends and purely because I want to document my weekend.
For those who are interested: yes, I'll definitely post some pics from the con here, either next week or after I've gotten the digital versions of my Photo OP's!
I hope you all have a good weekend, see you next week!
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swanimagines ¡ 29 days
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Bastard and the Blood Princess
Chapter 8
Read it on AO3 | Read it on Wattpad
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As the evening grew darker, the pub’s interiors grew in noise volumes. Everyone else around you was laughing and clinking their glasses together - a group of people at the other side of the pub was apparently celebrating someone’s birthday and they made the most noise, but the situation wasn’t much less noisy in other tables either.
You and Kaz ate in silence, with you trying to not look at Kaz as his discomfort very clearly came through. The waitress had asked Kaz while looking at you if he’d like to buy today’s special for his girlfriend, and he had immediately barked at her, correcting her that you were his acquaintance, or actually less than an acquaintance. The waitress had given him a weird look as he handed her some coins to pay for you both, and you were trying to suppress a smile at her confused expression.
And now he was stiff, occasionally squeezing his cane with his other hand while eating, chewing slowly - you recognised the signs, and you knew it was because he didn’t particularly enjoy sitting with the daughter of his arch enemy, eating as if you were on a date. You knew he despised the feeling. So you sighed and leaned forward.
“Kaz, should I–”
Kaz interrupted you. “Who were you writing a letter to? Your father?”
You froze - how did he know? You opened your mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. “I–”
He scoffed, the fork clattering on the plate as he raised his head a bit. “I’m not stupid. An ink bottle in the bathroom? I’d think someone like you would know how to lie better.”
You blinked at him as he slowly raised his eyes to meet yours, and then you groaned. “Well, I hoped this wouldn’t come up. The truth is… I have a boyfriend in Dime Lions. Or well, had. And I think he was the one who ratted me out. He swears he isn’t the one, but I know it’s just a trick… I was intending to send a letter to him to threaten him that once I come back, I’ll gut him too once my father is out. But I was interrupted and the ink bottle spilled on me, I was in so much rage that I forgot everything around me. I lied because… well, it’s still a delicate subject for me and–”  you ended your sentence abruptly, pretending to choke back a sob. “I don’t want to seem weak. I’m not. Love is a weakness, and those who seek it are to be victims of their own heart. I think that I knew, deep in my heart, what my father truly is and I sought comfort from Tiernan, which was stupid.”
Kaz thought for a moment and then huffed. “So, the rumour was true. The Blood Princess and Tiernan Dwyer being involved.”
You suppressed back a snort. Idiots, seeing chemistry between you and Tiernan.
“Was it that obvious?” you mumbled, lowering your spoon slightly. “I thought I was good at masking my feelings.”
Kaz picked up his fork again. “There was a bet going around. Jesper betted on you two not being together because according to him, he's basically a love doctor and knows love when he sees it, and the way you looked at Tiernan wasn't it. Everyone else in that group betted on something more going on. And now Jesper would lose a fair share of money for it if I were interested enough to tell them this.”
You sighed. “What a shame. Seems like I bring nothing but bad luck for that man.”
Kaz shifted before picking up another piece of carrot. “He needs a kick of bad luck sometimes.”
—
On the road again, the sun had set an hour ago and darkness had descended over the valley like a shroud. You could barely see, and you both knew it was dangerous to ride without seeing anything, but the job wouldn’t wait - you’d need to be at Rotrov before sunrise, you’d need to snatch the uniforms in the middle of the night. There’d be a lot more guards during daytime, but at night only one or two. Or that’s what Kaz told you. You guessed a warehouse for uniforms and weapons branded by Little Palace symbols weren’t a popular thing to snatch.
You passed a bridge, the sound of water flowing below it, making you think of that old farm your father sometimes brought you to on business trips only a few years ago. You weren’t able to adventure though, you were mostly babysitting toddler Alby and watching as he mashed toy carriages together while babbling something unintelligible. But when you were sitting outside with him, you heard birds, water flowing in the creek, wind blowing through the trees, rustling leaves.
There, you felt content. A little vacation, away from the grime of Ketterdam, away from your cellar. Your father tried to teach you to feel empowered through torture, and you did in a way - but when you sat on that blanket, looking at Alby playing, you found yourself wanting to stop the time and sit there for the rest of your life.
You always brushed it off though. Ketterdam was merciless for the weak, especially for women. If you sank too deep into some stupid flower girl dreams, you could as well end up in a pleasure house.
“We’re getting close,” Kaz’s voice pulled you away from your thoughts. “We’ll have to leave the horses here. By that little pond over there.”
You did as he told, dismounting your horse and guided it next to the pond. She immediately dipped her head down and began to drink greedily, which made you smile a little and give her a pat. Kaz came to stand beside you, and pointed towards the small building behind the bushes, and its open window in particular.
“There, you see that window?”
“Yes, I see it. That’s our way in?”
“No,” Kaz replied, and you turned to look at him. “It’s your way in. You’ll open the door for me once you’ve taken out the guard.”
You narrowed your eyes at Kaz. “This is that test, isn’t it?”
He didn’t reply to your question, and instead made his way behind the fence. “The guard has just switched his post with his colleague. You can get in right away, but we need to make it seem like nothing is stolen, and that the guard slipped and hit his head. You need to hit hard enough for him to not realise what’s happening, it needs to look like an accident. Otherwise, they’ll–”
“Inform the Little Palace that they need to check their guards, which could sabotage our plan. Got it.”
Kaz nodded and then gestured to you to come closer to the fence. “There’s a crack here. Slip through.”
You took in a deep breath and carefully slipped through the crack in the fence, and crouched down as you sneaked your way to the window.
The torch of one the guards almost illuminated your form as you scrambled towards the window, and you glanced back at where you last saw Kaz - but the man had disappeared. A suspicion of it being a trap crossed your mind, maybe he had known you’re lying about the letter? Maybe he guessed that you were trying to trick him? Dirtyhands was skilled in detecting lies, you had heard. Which you had taken as a challenge, but in moments like these, you cursed yourself for not being more careful.
But the fact that you getting caught could sabotage the plan of getting to Little Palace for him too was the thing that made you push up and get yourself through the window.
The hut was smaller than it seemed from the outside. There was a small closet which supposedly held at least some of the uniforms, and the guard himself sat on the chair near the window, his dirty boots lifted on the table, and you heard deep breaths with occasional, faint snoring. The chair was slightly tilted backwards - which was a perfect setup. Luck was clearly on your side tonight. You’d just have to make the chair fall down hard enough to knock the guy out, it would look like he had fallen down while sleeping.
So, you sneaked up on him and in a swift move, you slammed the chair to the ground. The guard cried out and you jumped back, realising you hadn’t hit him hard enough. Shit.
Blood stained the floor as he continued moaning in pain, and you were just about to kick him in the head, but then a torch light illuminated the hut, making you crouch down. “Bocharov! Are you alright?”
Shit, shit shit shit.
You quickly made your way to the closet, pressing yourself against the back wall, praying to Ghezen that any of your body parts wouldn’t be sticking out.
The torches illuminated the closet briefly, making you squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, and when you opened them again, you saw how three men had entered the hut.
“What happened?” one of them asked, and the man, Bocharov, groaned.
“I slipped.”
“You were sleeping again? You know General Kuznetsov won’t like that.”
“He makes us work for an inhuman amount of hours for just a few vlackhi. It’s not fair if we aren’t allowed to rest.”
Judging by the sounds, someone helped Bocharov to stand up and the third man spoke, “You have a wife and kid to feed, so you’d better have your priorities up with it. Now, come to get patched up - work can wait for a little longer.”
The four men then exited the hut, Bocharov being assisted out by two of his comrades, and the door shut. You swallowed, staring at the door for a moment longer, before you slowly made your way out of the closet and unlocked the door, carefully peering outside.
No sign of Kaz.
“Damn it, Brekker,” you grumbled and turned your back to the door, going to the closet and carefully taking out two uniforms, and then seeing a set of knives at the back of the closet. You stared at them for a moment, trying to decide whether to take them or not. You didn’t have a weapon against Kaz, and time was running out - that would be a perfect opportunity. You turned around again to lay the uniforms on the chair by the door, and paused upon seeing Kaz standing there. 
Damn it.
You masked your surprise by rolling your eyes. “I thought you’re leaving me here.”
Kaz’s eyes shifted to the uniforms in your hands. “It did cross my mind, considering you almost ruined my plan. Come.”
“What a gentleman,” you mumbled, but followed Kaz out of the area. And soon, you were back on your horses, the uniforms tightly secured at the back as you began your journey towards Os Alta.
—
You’re enjoying his company, a voice at the back of your head said. It’s messing up with your plans. Are you really trying hard enough to make up a way to get rid of him?
You clenched your jaw, trying to keep your eyes on the road and not glance back at Kaz. You scowled at your thoughts and whispered, “Shut up.”
Of course you were still planning, giving your everything for those plans to work. You were about to snatch a knife from the closet, but you weren’t quick enough. You were planning to kill him at that motel, but then the non-creaking floorboard messed up with your plans. You were trying, but luck wasn’t on your side. And now time was running out, you’d need to make up a new plan once you’d be out of Little Palace. To get rid of Jesper and Inej would be a remarkable problem, though. But, a small voice still snickered, saying you're only trying to make excuses.
Again, Kaz’s voice interrupted your thoughts. “We’re almost at the Palace. Let’s go change clothes, and find some distraction.”
You turned to look at him. “Distraction?”
Kaz scoffed at your question. “We can’t just put uniforms on and walk through the gates without anyone trying to identify us. We need to blend in.”
You pursed your lips and sighed, before turning your eyes back to the road. “Right, that's true. Where will we change clothes?”
Kaz passed you with his horse, and gestured towards a pond that was barely visible behind the thick hay. “There’s a small warehouse hosting gardening supplies around the creek, near that pond. Go there to change, I’ll go find our distraction and take my turn after that.”
You slowed down your horse as Kaz started to ride away, and you yelled after him, “And what exactly is our distraction?”
Kaz didn’t reply, which made you groan. Typical. You started to have a feeling that this man would drive you crazy eventually, in one way or another.
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swanimagines ¡ 29 days
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Mwahaha, you're very welcome 😈😈
(Thank youuu ❤️)
BOUND IN DARKNESS | NIKOLAI LANTSOV
Summary: You and Nikolai see nightmares about the Darkling every night - making your duties as the King and Queen of Ravka hard. But you both know you have to push through.
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Darkling was dead, yet the damage he had left remained.
Just one night of peaceful sleep was unreachable, and hoping for it was futile. You and Nikolai both woke up at some point every night to the image of the Darkling plaguing your dreams. You held each other then, shaking slightly, trying to rest just little longer so your tiredness wouldn’t show as much. Genya helped you hide your eyebags, before you dressed up and were going in front of people once again, putting on your brave face and trying to act like nothing was happening, you weren’t damaged. You needed to show that Ravka was strong, that their King and Queen would thrive and show them how to be strong again. Ravka could and would be rebuilt. Your people would be able to recover, and the Kingdom would become whole again.
The court alkemi had made you a potion that basically prevented your brains from total exhaustion, as it would have been dangerous on the long run - usually this severe nightmares were treated by resting and taking it easy, but you didn’t have that option if you didn’t want to look like weak rulers. Vulnerability was also an important part to show if you wanted your people to feel closer to you, but time for that wasn’t now. So the vials were vital for your survival during this time, and you rewarded the alkemi handsomely for making the potion for you. But he, too, reminded you that it isn’t a miracle potion you could consume for very long. Its side effects would begin coming after a week, and after that they’d become more and more severe with every vial you’d consume and eventually those could end up killing you.
So you had to avoid using those too - gulping them down only if you felt like you wouldn’t get through the day without it. It didn’t mean days without it were easy though. One of those moments were now, you and Nikolai having a meeting with your advisors. The chair you sat on started feeling impossibly comfy, the words your advisors spoke to you blended together, they echoed in the room as you slowly felt your body falling asleep.
“Moya tsaritsa, are you alright?” your advisor asked, snapping you out from your stupor and you cleared your throat, nodding and blinking rapidly.
“Yes, I just need some water,” you croaked out, feeling Nikolai’s hand grasp yours and you squeezed it back. Your maid came over in a few moments, handing you a glass of water and you smiled at her softly before taking a sip from your glass.
The water brought a welcomed burst of energy as it made its way down your throat, and you put the glass down, nodding for the advisor to continue. You knew you had a duty at hand, and it couldn’t wait - you had to push through whatever it needed.
Nikolai squeezed your hand lightly again and you shared a brief look, and you could see weariness plaguing him too. But he was better in hiding it. At that moment, you wished you had been raised as a royal, they had training even on how to stay composed and remain alert even when exhausted like this - probably because during wars, rest wasn’t an option.
You tried your best to follow the example of your husband, listening to the proposals and checking through documents, occasionally interjecting the discussions with questions, but it wasn’t long before their voices began to blend into a constant hum again, and you couldn’t really hear what they said. You just saw their lips moving and hands gesturing, but you no longer heard what they said.
Nikolai seemingly sensed your struggle and nudged your leg with his own under the table, an unspoken reminder to remain alert. You straightened your posture again, and the advisor paused again for a moment, but then continued as you were following along again. You used all your willpower to stay alert and reminded yourself that this was the only way so you would get to rest sooner today - how you would get to rest for days. Once this was over, you wouldn’t have to sit here listening to plans and trying to act like everything was okay.
When the sun started to set and the advisors finally left to their own quarters, you were letting out a sigh of relief, knowing that now you would be able to rest - even if it meant you would see your loved ones being cut in half again. You had to try to rest. Seeing nightmares and crying in Nikolai’s arms was better than sleeping while you were expected to listen.
You stood up, with Nikolai supporting you by the waist and you walked to your bed chambers together and immediately after you had taken off your jewelry, you were falling onto the bed together, wishing to be able to take even a nap before dinner without nightmares. Nikolai spooned you, his other arm wrapped tightly around your waist while his other hand grasped your hand above your head on the pillow.
As children, you both had heard the story that sleeping while touching a friend or a loved one guarantees no nightmares. It hadn’t worked til now, and you knew it wouldn’t work this time either - but it was still more comforting to wake up and notice you’re safe, with Nikolai holding you - and for him, to see you alive and breathing in his arms.
It wasn’t a situation you wanted to find yourself from when you married Nikolai while he was still Sturmhond, but the sense of duty this situation had forged into you was something you knew you should follow. For the people of Ravka, if not else. They needed to see they were safe now - they had a strong King, a strong Queen, ones who cared for them.
So you night after night, you had to try to rest. To wake up, hold each other, listen to each other, comfort each other, try to fall asleep again. Something good in the middle of this darkness, you needed to remind yourselves what was worth fighting for. Darkling was dead, for good this time. His shadow monsters weren’t attacking people anymore, things were better than in ages. Uniting Ravka was a task not any ruler would be able to accomplish, but you knew that with Nikolai, you would do it. 
You let your eyes droop closed, keeping this in mind, telling yourself that some dead shadow man wasn’t going to drag you two down. You would beat this. Together.
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swanimagines ¡ 1 month
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THE FAVOURITE | GIDEON FLETCHER
Summary: You're a prostitute, and Gideon's favourite. But when he starts to develop feelings for you, things become complicated.
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the gif is mine!
It was a New Year’s Eve. The pub was full of people, drinks were poured, laughter echoed through the building. Gideon sat alone, just observing others, the women in particular. That’s when Gideon met you for the first time. You came to his table, swaying your hips and looking at him up and down.
“Well hello, handsome,” you purred. “Enjoying your night?”
Gideon smirked, looking over your body as well. “Well, I certainly am now.”
It was pretty self-explanatory what you were. A lady of the night, a whore, a harlot. An inexperienced one, that much was clear - a new acquisition, no doubt. You were clumsy, trying too hard. Likely a virgin too.
“Would… would a man like you be interested in a night of pleasure?” you got out and swallowed, clearly flustered from saying it.
Gideon smirked. “I might be. What’s your price?”
And soon, he found himself from the brothel, having pressed you against the wall. His lips on yours, his hands hurriedly untying your corset. Your dress falling off you, him spinning you around and throwing you on your bed as he started to undress himself too. And by the morning, he was gone, believing he’d never have another night with you.
But that wasn’t what fate had in mind, and after you had seduced him for a second time just a few weeks later, he went back to the brothel again and again, always in search of you, wanting to spend a night with you. Other women were trying to seduce him, laying their hands on him and trying to pull him into their rooms, but he always pulled away, only wanting you. You grew to be like a drug to him, he wanted more of you and the need only grew as time went by - and eventually, it started to affect how he reacted to seeing you touching other men, trying to lure them to come with you. He couldn't stand the thought of someone else having you under them, someone else making you moan. It should be him, always him. Nobody else.
He sat at the table of that pub - the same pub, the same table where he first met you. He saw you sitting on another man’s lap, unbuttoning a few top buttons of his shirt and slipping your hand inside, before you leaned in to whisper something in his ear. Gideon squeezed his glass so hard that it was on the verge of cracking - he wanted to go there, rip you off the guy and take you right there, in front of everyone. He wanted everyone to know you should be his and no one else’s.
But he knew you weren’t his. You belonged to every man in town, and you weren’t allowed to even choose your preference. Whoever offered the most money was your choice, or your nights wouldn't profit enough.
But when he went to the bar counter to have another drink, the man who you had been seducing came to order another drink as well. That chunk of meat looked back at you, licking his lips as he looked over your body, and it infuriated Gideon. He was nowhere as big as this guy, and this guy could probably squeeze him so hard that he’d fit in a sardine can, but then the guy did something he just couldn’t let slide. He leaned towards Gideon. “I know that one is your favourite. I might test her out myself tonight. Tell me; is she better at blowjobs or riding?”
“Don’t touch her,” Gideon growled, and the man raised her eyebrows. “She’s off bounds.”
The man laughed, glancing at his friends who also chuckled. “She’s a whore, in case you haven’t noticed. Her job is to entertain us.” 
One of his friends stepped forward, cocking his head at Gideon. “What’s gotten into you? You’ve been awfully possessive of her in particular lately.”
Third laughed, “I’m pretty sure she’s just good in bed. Mr. Fletcher here wants to have her all for himself because of that.”
Gideon was fully ready to throw a punch, but he then locked eyes with you, and he knew you noticed what he was doing, so with one last glare at the other man, he retreated back to his table, only to be followed by you.
“Mr. Fletcher,” you sighed, glancing behind you before carefully sitting across from him at the table. “You have spent a lot of money on me, and I do appreciate having a regular customer, they’re rare and I know I’m lucky to have one. But unless you either start accepting I also have other customers or start to give me big tips for our nights, I won’t be able to bring enough money for Mr. Talbot, and you surely can guess what will happen if he’s displeased with my income.”
Gideon’s eyelids flickered as he clenched his jaw, and his hand closed into a fist. He had completely forgotten that Mr. Talbot was your pimp. The man was known for beating his whores for not being profitable enough, and often his less popular whores disappeared without a trace. Everyone knew what happened to them, but no one really cared. They had it coming by not being able to be seductive enough.
He didn’t even fully know what was happening to him, why did he care so much? Falling for a whore, him? Falling for someone so lowly, so pathetic. Whores were good for nothing else than being pretty and fucking, certainly not for… be even accompanied in other means than sex, much less courted by people within his status.
At least he thought so.
You started to get up, which made Gideon quickly dig his waistcoat and hand you yet another payment with a generous tip. “You’re with me tonight.”
You frowned, but took the money, a practised smile immediately appearing on your face. “Well, I wasn’t able to agree on anything with that other gentleman, and I’d much rather spend another night with you anyways.”
He knew you only said that because he paid you to say it, but he still felt happy to have you sitting on his lap again, your arm around his shoulders. Only for a moment, imagining you doing all that because you wanted to, and would do it without him paying you for it.
You bit your lip and dragged your finger along his cheekbone and down his jaw, before you leaned in and whispered, “I had to change my bedding after last night we were together, right after you left. We were quite messy.”
Gideon chuckled, placing his hands on your hips and squeezing. “Oh, we were?”
You hummed, pulling back. “It was worth it, though. It always is with you.”
He smirked, and gestured to you to get up. “What about you coming to my home for a change? My bed could be more comfortable for what I’m going to do to you tonight.”
You blinked, clearly taken aback by his proposition. It was uncommon and might have been even risky in terms of not seeming suspicious, but Gideon masked it by standing up as you did and caressing your cheek as he muttered, “That measly brothel bed may not be able to take my lust for you tonight.”
You swallowed but then smiled and nodded, taking his offered arm and you left the pub together.
—
After, when you were laying in bed side by side, panting and sweaty, you slowly rolled to your side to look at Gideon. The man was staring at the roof, and you carefully ran your fingers up his arm. “Mr. Fletcher, may I ask you something?”
He slowly turned to look at you, meeting your eyes. “Go on.”
You hesitated, but then shifted slightly closer to his body. “I can’t help but have noticed you being tense lately. Are you possibly having difficulties in business, or your studies, or anything? You may talk to me if you want, it’s part of my job. To satisfy my clients physically, but also mentally.”
Gideon narrowed his eyes on you. “You should know by now that I know that your ‘job’ is to run to your pimp and tell everything personal you know about your clients to him.”
You swallowed, and then averted your eyes from his. “I’m sorry, sir. I… I’ve just noticed that you've been different with me lately. I couldn’t resist. Mr. Talbot gives bigger food ratios to those who… um. I shouldn’t talk about it, I apologise.”
Gideon scoffed, turning to look at the roof again. You were quiet for a moment, before you shifted and sat up. “I should go, the sun is rising and I have another client scheduled for this morning. It was a pleasant night once again, Mr. Fletcher. I hope to meet you again soon.”
Gideon didn’t reply, just continued staring at the roof as you put on your clothes, but just as you were about to walk through the bedroom door, he spoke again. “Go straight to Mr. Talbot and tell him that I want to have you exclusively.”
You paused, your hand on the door handle. “I’m sorry?”
He sat up himself, picking up his shirt. He didn’t look at you as he began to dress himself, and it took a moment from him to speak again. “I want you to be in my personal, exclusive use. You aren’t allowed to sell yourself to anyone else anymore.”
Gideon heard fabric shifting, before slow steps approached the bed again. “Mr. Fletcher, are you aware how much I’d cost if you covered all of my monthly income? And Mr. Talbot would make me more and more expensive every month, if I started to profit so much. I’m sorry to tell you, but you wouldn’t be able to afford it for very long.”
Gideon realised you were right. Mr. Talbot was a greedy, old pig. He saw money in everything, and a monthly payment for you would end up bankrupting him. 
He was quiet for a moment, squeezing his waistcoat in his hands, before slipping it on. “Fine. I’ll buy you from him.”
Your breath hitched and you stuttered out, “B-buy me?”
Gideon hummed, buttoning up his waistcoat. “You’re surely familiar with the term. Some of my acquaintances have done similar deals. In exchange for your services for whenever I desire to have you, you will get everything you need to live, like food and a roof over your head.”
You were clearly stunned by how quiet you were - he didn’t hear you even breathing. He glanced at you standing there - the rising sun illuminating your figure, making you look like an angel, or some other celestial being. He had a hard time not to stop and stare, and instead turned his face back to his waistcoat, checking the buttons over and smoothing out the fabric.
“I trust you can take my message to Mr. Talbot?” he said after a moment of dressing himself in silence, standing up himself. You blinked at him and then nodded, before making your way out of his house.
He watched you go along the streets, towards the brothel, and he knew to expect a swift reply from Mr. Talbot - whores bought from him for personal use were a fair share of money and they often faced beatings and an ultimate death, men used them to release their rage. They owned them, so they no longer needed to play nice, they were no longer only borrowing the women for one night’s pleasure. And once the whore was bought, they often lost the little freedom they had before. Sometimes, their new owner just locked them up in a chamber and dragged them out just for sex, and then threw them back when they were done. So you, too, were probably scared that you being his property would end up in that, and he didn’t know if it was a wise decision to buy you. How long would it take before it would start to shine through that he was falling for you?
He clenched his jaw again, before glancing at the messy sheets and making his way out of the bedroom. He wanted to go for a walk to have fresh air to clear his head, but he would need to stay at home for the messenger to come with a message of Mr. Talbot wanted to meet him, and then… you’d be his.
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