#it’s hard to see someone you invest so much emotional energy with be so ignorant | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ariesmoontarot · 3 months

Text

Blessing’s Coming For You

The Piles:

Book a reading here

•Pile One:

Song: She -Harry Styles

I’m seeing that after a while of confusion, illusion, and a lack of clarity, the sun is coming out and truth has been revealed. You’re going to be feeling creative, optimistic, and very happy. Maybe even splurging on the vitality. I see you just getting a big boost of energy.

Your intuition has been blocked and I feel like you’ve been having a difficult time trusting and listening to your inner voice. You instinctively know something, but your choosing to ignore how you feel. I feel like there are fears about you investing yourself into an opportunity you’ve been blessed with. For a lot of you, I feel like your past has made you feel a bit insecure and lack confidence. You may be acting a bit selfish or solely focused on your own priorities, so much that you don’t want to prioritize a connection or relationship that is in your life. I feel like when it comes to love you’ve thrown in the towel and been on your own for a while now. There is a relationship you deeply wanted and worked hard for, but it took so long to even get anywhere that you just feel like you’re trying to move on now. You’ve been very independent and working on yourself. I see you’ve grown more resilient and you’ve gained a lot of self control. I feel like you’re a bit upset and disappointed with someone who hurt you and you could have a certain attitude when it comes to love because of your past experiences. You have so much love and compassion, but I don’t see you expressing this side of yourself. I feel like you wanted a long term relationship and maybe even a family with a past person. You waited and even fought for them, but they hurt you and just confused you. I also feel like you we’re drained energetically and tired of putting in any more effort into this relationship so you officially walked away or are walking away. This could be what you’re not listening to intuitively. I feel like you know it’s time to walk away from a relationship or situation that is unconventional and unaligned with who you are and what you believe. You may have ignored your intuition in the past and now you’re learning to trust your instincts and apply all that you’ve learned moving forward. I see you walking away from things that no longer make you happy and going towards a more spiritually fulfilling life. Even if it’s in your career, relationships, whatever it may be, you’re leaving behind something you’ve built. I see you on a spiritual journey and learning new things about yourself and love. You’re creating this opportunity for yourself to have long term success, abundance, commitment, and stability. I feel like after a period of feeling lonely and self reflecting you’re coming out with a clearer perspective, feeling confident and excited. You’re ready to start something new and I see you investing your time, energy, & funds into creating whatever this is. Prosperity is flowing to you now. You’ve completed a phase of your life and I feel like you learned to manage your emotions in a healthier way. You learning to have more self control has helped you be more disciplined and balanced with your energy. Your love life has been challenging and I see someone who is very charming and flirty coming towards you. I feel like you have history with this person and a third party situation got in between you. It was also very conflicting for you and this person when you were trying to make things work. I feel like you blocked this person and they’re missing you. You’ve ended whatever was left with this person. I feel like you were generous with them and you invested hard work, patience, and time into them. You weren’t satisfied & they let their ego get the best of them. I feel like the lack of communication, understanding, and distance created imbalance between you guys. I see them taking action and coming in to try and heal the connection with you.

•Pile Two:

Song: So Sick -Neyo

I see you alone right now spending time self reflecting. You’ve been through a difficult time and I feel like you’re trying to tap back into your emotional and spiritual side. You’ve been feeling sad, depressed, & disconnected from yourself. Spirit is saying to have hope. I see you healing, moving forward, and finding peace within yourself.

You’ve been having a hard time moving forward and finding a peace of mind. I feel like the past feels as if it’s haunting you or replaying in your mind. You could have fears of the past repeating itself or you’ve just been feeling easily triggered by certain people or events that remind you of your past. I feel like you’re really upset about a betrayal or multiple betrayals that happened in your past and I see you’ve developed a certain attitude that makes you a bit pessimistic and gloomy. You’ve been feeling emotionally vulnerable and I feel like although you have the confidence and strength to move forward and let things go, you’ve been reliving the past in your mind. You have opportunities and room for expansion in your life but you just have to focus on the bright side. You’ve been doing a really good job, but don’t fear the past. You’ve been through a lot and I feel like right now your heart needs time to heal. The blessing for you is strength, healing, rejuvenation, and abundance. I see you moving forward and overcoming hard times. You’ll be feeling a boost of energy very soon, you just need to open yourself up to it. I feel like at times you didn’t listen to what your intuition was telling you and you were right. This could be due to deception, manipulation, some type of trickery going on. You felt this happening intuitively in the recent past or in past connections and I feel like you are being blessed with an opportunity to restore balance and attain long term stability, success, & material abundance. I also see you learning a very valuable lesson and that is to take heed when you feel intuitively something is not right. I feel like for a lot of you, you are going through a breakup or some type of loss that meant a lot to you. It could be a job, it could be a person, whatever it is I feel like you’re really upset about it. A lot of time could have passed and you’re still hurting over this. I feel like you’re exhausted, frustrated, and so scattered. I feel like at times you may have tried to escape how you feel or ignore it but you can’t. This is exactly why you’ve been going through this period of solitude because you weren’t facing how you truly feel. It’s like divine intervention happened so that way you can take a deeper look within and listen to what your body is telling you. I feel like you’ve been so closed off and hurt that you don’t even want to deal with another person. You don’t even want to try and put yourself out there or interact with anyone. There’s just a very melancholic energy I’m feeling from your pile. I feel like you’re doing your best and pushing yourself every day to keep trying. You’ve been losing hope and feeling like there is no way out of this sadness. Or if there is you can’t seem to find it. I see you realizing something. Or there is clarity about your feelings and a connection you’ve been feeling sad about. I feel you’re going to be having a conversation with this person about a long term future together and taking steps to get there. After a long period of confusion, miscommunication, & arguments I see things clearing up for you both. It may take some time and right now you are still in a period of resting but when the time comes spirit wants you to be optimistic and hopeful about this. Open yourself up to expansion and joy. I see you being really happy in the near future. Just like the song you can’t hurry love. You have to be patient and recognize your strength. You won’t be alone forever. Be hopeful and know that it’s coming. You’ve given a lot of your time, energy, tears, love, and you’ve been so patient. Trust that you will be blessed.

•Pile Three:

Song: St. Patrick -PVRIS Song: Cinderella's Daughter -The Simps

I see clarity coming for you. You’ve realizing hidden truths about yourself and others. I feel like you've been in the dark for a while and whatever this clarity is that's coming in for you, it's related to a love matter. I feel like you and/or maybe someone else is realizing how deep their feelings are for one another. I get this energy of you feeling like when it comes to love, you couldn't get the breath of fresh air and peace of mind that you needed, but with this person you do. I'm getting that they feel the same way about you. There's an energy of distance or separation between you. It could be emotionally, mentally, physically, take it how it resonates for you.

I feel like in the last conversation you had with this person both of you revealed some personal thoughts, intentions, truth, etc. You talked about something related to the connection between you and I feel like it left you feeling a bit insecure, doubtful, disappointed, and maybe even upset with this person and yourself. I'm getting this energy that you may not be feeling like your best self during this time. You have a vision for where you want your life to be, but there's been a hard time getting there because of this energy you've been dealing with. I feel like your life is under reconstruction and all of the old behaviors, patterns, strategies, & even people are being removed from your life. I see changes happening for you that are positive & divinely guided. I also feel like you've been dealing with anxiety, fears, and maybe even fears of the past repeating itself. These negative thoughts you've been battling are being released and your heart is being healed. I see you gaining control over your mind and overcoming the emotional stress and frustration you've been feeling. Reflecting back on happy memories and feelings from your past or your childhood will bring you positive feelings and help you cultivate the feeling of joy in the present moment. Be sure not to get too stuck on the past though. I also feel like you haven't felt grounded and in tune with yourself. Your energy has been scattered and directed towards the wrong things. I feel like because you've been facing a lot of setbacks, challenging situations, and maybe even rejection for some of you, it's caused you feel insecure and unworthy of the things you wanted. You've been feeling a lack of confidence, drive, enthusiasm and excitement. You could be isolating yourself and feeling lonely in terms of love. Sometimes it's good to be alone, but there comes a point when we need to connect with others. Whether you need advice, guidance, or some type of support, now is the time to be social or let others help you. Even if you've been stuck in your head, feeling lost and disconnected from yourself, another person's wise words or perspective can help you open up your mind to new possibilities or opportunities. I also feel like for a lot of you there was a person you were feeling very attached to, so much that you felt like miracle or something drastic had to happen for you to detach from them. Bare with me here, but it could be that you idolized this person and literally worshipped them. Even when you were lacking faith, knowing you needed a miracle to save you, you relied on this person to be the miracle you needed to escape the relationship, but instead of escaping the relationship, you imagined the relationship with them to be better than it actually was, and used this person as the escape. It was a relationship where emotions and codependency were deeply intertwined. I'm getting an energy where you deluded yourself into believing this relationship was good for you, in order to keep this person in your life. It was like a form of escapism for you. A bad habit that you loved. It could be a past relationship for some of you. I feel like this is why you've isolated yourself so much and possibly became anti-social. It's like all that time you spent escaping reality made you completely lose touch with yourself and you're finally getting to a place where you're gaining clarity and having a spiritual awakening. I'm hearing you learned very deep lessons and have been soul searching for a while now. I feel like the person who you were very attached to, is slowly coming to this awareness of how they feel in general and towards you. It's taking them a little bit longer to get to the energy you're currently in. I feel like they aren't completely aware of themselves mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. They feel very attached to you just as you did with them. The attachment between you could very much be healthy, but it can also turn toxic if not kept in moderation. I'm seeing that this person wants a long-term relationship, maybe even marriage.

They're just having a difficult time making a decision. I feel like they're confused because they want to make the right decision. They're battling between what their ego wants and what they really need. I see them trying to listen to their instincts & see past the illusion of their own feelings. I feel like you make them really happy and I see that both of your inner children are being healed together. They're confused between is this love or is this lust? For some of you, this person is trying to release another person who is in a lower vibrational energy and for others I feel like they've been dealing with some type of gossip. Whether it be in family, friends, whatever it is there's gossip or third-party interferences affecting this connection between you. I see positive things coming for you and this person. When it comes to healing, love, marriage, stability, all that good stuff, you are being blessed in due time.

#spirituality #healing #spiritualjourney #positive vibes #tarot #love #pick a card #pac #astrology #spiritual community

120 notes · View notes

alyjojo · 1 month

Text

May 🏋🏻 2024 Monthly - Aquarius

Preshuffle: There’s an ending to something - a conflict in general, or something you’ve had a conflict over. It’s like there’s no real options here, there’s one right choice. You just haven’t chosen it, but moving forward, that’s changing.

Meditation: I don’t know if I was me or you. Your door was translucent, behind sky and clouds ☁️ Hard to see. When I reached for a doorknob, there was none. I got frustrated, like “what do I have to DO?” Then I heard, “Ah, that’s the right question, now go do it.” Then a boot came out of the door and kicked me away, more confused than when I came.

Main energy: The Devil

Yeesh 😬 Bottom of the deck shows 4 Wands, this is definitely a relationship, partner, friendship, roommate, family member. It looks like you’re being inspired to take control of a problem, probably your own problem. Addiction is coming in strong, could be one that costs too much money, or maybe that’s the motivation to stop. Up until this point, it doesn’t look like you’ve cared who gets hurt by this, or if you’re hurting yourself, you haven’t cared about that either. Smoking, drinking, negative mindsets, particularly around finances. Information or someone’s “messy” emotions could wake you up to a reality you’ve previously ignored. Or you’re dealing with someone like this at home, or in childhood perhaps, could be a parent for someone. There’s a belief in productivity that’s like, you’re useless unless you’re making money at all times, with Schedule at the bottom and Gold Coins. Could just be some bad habits you’re having to address. Or are you just ignoring them? Enabling, for some. The most obvious interpretation would be an addiction someone is being inspired to quit, or someone’s example even - could inspire you.

What’s going on in May:

Page of Swords:

This is an energy of gossiping and learning, communication, possibly just a watchful energy. You’re learning something, could be a person you’re talking to, could be their situation even, or it could be a video or ten online that teach you something you haven’t been able to move forward with. For most I feel like this is private research being done by you. It’s like the desire to change something is there, 2 Wands shows a desire to move forward, but maybe you don’t know how. 8 Wands rev & 2 Swords show that while you’re unsure, you’re not saying or doing anything. No change. But you’re open to information. Probably by yourself, on your own accord. This could have to do with balancing emotions, or someone around you needing to…I’m seeing some hectic emotional cards, Calm is your Oracle, someone is or needing to take control of this. However it fits, that’s the lane.

Queen of Cups rev:

Strong Aries/Libra energy, these nodes and eclipses may have brought intense changes to your life - or what is coming across as a “wake up call” that there’s no option but to honor. At least on your side. Whether it’s your addiction/issue or someone else’s, that’s either your problem to fix or it’s not - and you can plan your steps accordingly. You’re not trapped to someone else’s bs - The Devil, it’s just whether or not you make a decision. It can’t stay like this. Someone has been very emotional, someone you’re talking to or watching, with Page of Swords. Queen of Cups rev is tears, emotional displays, intense upset, can be along the lines of over-giving or doormat energy. Not protecting your own heart, or someone else’s. It’s been expected, and waited for, there’s a lot of time invested into this person or a frustrating/hurtful situation. Expecting Justice - make a decision 💯 You or they haven’t, and it hurts, it’s like that doesn’t matter? The Devil is seen as toxic for a reason. It’s a huge burden - 10 Wands at the bottom, there’s conflict and drama, and underneath is love. You love this person, or they love you, so where is the room for this toxic energy - someone needs to wake up, which I’m seeing. If not The Devil themselves, owning their shit and taking action, then whoever is waiting around on this is the one making the call. Either way, can’t stay how it is 👏

Justice:

Wow this is intense. Judgement clarifies, this is the FINAL decision, are things going to change and we can bring this back to life/transform it in a new way, or are we nailing this coffin shut for good ⚰️ and it’s over. One or the other. It looks like you’re transforming this over ending it, 6 Pentacles mirrors Justice in a teamwork sort of way. I give a little, you give a little, we get towards our shared goals. Compromise. Balance. The right decision is being made, and you’re over here at the bottom with no real options, like the preshuffle. There are none. There’s a right answer or you’re just making excuses for some bs, could be them too. There’s an energy of self-sabotage here, or that’s how it has been, and then a final Judgment call is going to be made. It feels positive, you could feel victimized and need to stand up for yourself - or someone does/will. Especially if drugs or toxic bs is involved. I do see Withdrawal here, and expectations, there might be an intervention type thing here - but I don’t necessarily see a lot of other people. Could be.

The Emperor:

Taking control, there’s a leader in this situation, and they wont stand for anymore of this bs - whatever it is. Knight of Wands clarifies, some impulsive action is getting someone into trouble, or has, maybe even literal jail. The Emperor can be police, 8 Swords is jail time. I’m seeing financial issues, shady shit a King of Pentacles rev would do. I’m hearing “embezzling” but I’m not sure what that is, I’m also hearing “insider trading”, anything involved with the financial world - someone may definitely be having to pay for that. Jail, Justice, the courts, the governments, all of that is here for someone. Now with Ladybug at the bottom, I also see grace here. Someone is giving another shot, maybe even a judge. It could be a first offense, something may be out of your control, like maybe it’s your boss doing this and not you. Or a parent. You’re involved but not - for most of you. If you are, it’s going to end, with consequences of some kind. Probably not the worst. Apologizes at the bottom in regards to a relationship or family, whoever was hurt by these actions.

Ace of Wands:

Someone may be going to rehab, you? Ace of Wands may be a father, partner, or boss that forces this, could even be the law itself. I do see healing, Withdrawals for someone, a cutoff of communication or a separation from the person with the issues. Even if that’s you. There will be a time to focus more on your healing, and creative inspiration may come from this. Ace of Wands shows creative ventures, and Spider encourages them as well, if you’re inspired to turn addiction or pain into some kind of a blog, podcast, book, whatever, you’re being given the green light on that. But health is the priority, healthy living comes first. George R.R. Martin is not in any damn rush and neither should you be. If this is someone else, if may be necessary to cut off communication for awhile, not because you don’t care about them, but because you have to do what’s best for you. There’s a need to take your time and pace yourself, this could take awhile, and again apologies are at the bottom. I don’t see this being a bad thing, you or someone else has some difficult issues to work though, but you’re on the right path in May, you’re getting there.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Strong Libra & Aries, Cancer, Sagittarius, Taurus & Gemini

Oracle: ✨

Withdrawal 🚬

Quit - Awakening - Rejection

Calm 😌

Inner Peace - Simplicity - Meditation

Spider 🕷

“Trust the creative spark you’re feeling, and express it through writing stories that inspire and enlighten.”

The pulse of creativity is especially strong right now, triggering a not unfamiliar and compelling desire to express yourself through creative writing. Whether or not the tales you weave are true, whether they’re based on actual experience or the imaginings of your fertile mind, each day sit yourself down and pour out the words that come to you. Don’t ponder each sentence or paragraph; just write whatever wants to be written through you.

To inspire and enlighten others, you don’t need a profoundly complex take. Start by describing a personal experience, one where you gained some insight that may also be useful for others. However, don’t focus on how people will respond to your story; instead, just enjoy the process of writing without judging your work or yourself. Write to express - not to impress. In attempting to write, you may find yourself easily distracted, either with others’ needs for your time and attention, or with those negative thoughts and beliefs that are the product of judgements and shame that you were subjected to during childhood. A powerful way to release these habitual and self-limiting thoughts and feelings is to write about them in story form. As you do so, don’t hold back anything. Through such a catharsis, you heal those words that had originally wounded you.

We enter into May as:

Rose Without Thorns 🌹:

“It is time to face my true feelings.”

You are most fortunate. As we mature, we learn that to enjoy the beauty of a rose, we must occasionally risk getting pricked by a thorn. You are not facing “the same situation”, this is the dawn of feelings being awakened and a new truth being born. You’re being presented with a different way to live. Trust you will know what to do. Stay open. Time changes us all if we’re lucky, it’s time to surrender and make the change. The best incentive to change is often love.

What is to be learned in May:

Gold Coins 💰

“I only seek to give you what you ask for.”

Gold Coins gently asks you to look at your relationship with money. Money doesn’t care where it goes. It naturally goes toward appreciation and gratitude. What we do with our own abundance makes the difference. Are you blaming something on money? Are you running from it? Be wary of using your financial situation as an excuse to avoid doing something you love to do. Are you questioning a relationship or career that is hitting a rocky time? It may be time to look for the good in it. Remember there are two sides to every coin. What you desire may currently be manifesting. Great riches are waiting for you to use them. You can ask the universe for riches or poverty, the universe doesn’t care, only you can change your inner experience. “Things” only hold value when we think they do. If there were no money, it didn’t exist, what else would you do? What else would you focus on?

Gold may be a lucky color 💛

#Aquarius #monthly tarot reading #may 2024 #astrology #tarot #monthly

4 notes · View notes

animeyanderelover · 2 years

Note

Howdy! A real long time it's been! I have a request! It's been so long I can barely choose! Um..Um..May I have Headcanons for Yandere Mina from Black Butler? Please and thank you! Have a nice day and I hope I can request again!

It sort of slipped my mind that Mina was a character of Black Butler but I hope you still like it nevertheless.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsession, delusion, manipulation

Yandere Mina Hc’s

🟫Mina is quite self-centered since she spends the biggest time of her days with Soma who she describes as quite the selfish master. So she is a possessive woman since she just wants someone she can call her own and have a enjoyable time with and that just happens to be you. Mina is even with her lower status quite a manipulative woman since she masks her egotistic desire under a kind and cheerful facade. Even Soma will be used since she knows that the young prince treasures her and so she will ask him for help to persuade her love interest. For that alone she had to be very nice to him even though she struggles immensely if he gets involved too much in the relationship or even starts feeling jealous of you. The woman guilt-trips you as well, often lamenting about her stress from work and how she suffers from being in a low class.

🟫Very clingy, if she doesn’t have to be with Soma, she’ll instantly be with you. She needs time with you to recharge her energy in order to face Soma again since that boy annoys her. If she can’t see you for a longer time, she might end up snapping at the young prince since he just annoys her. Chances are that Agni suggests that you start working for Soma as well so Mina can tame her temper better. Obsessive, she wants to know where you were when she was working or with whom you have a personal history.

🟫Mina is a jealous woman and it’s just so frustrating for her to be left ignored for the sake of someone else. She’s been working hard her entire life for the prince so she has deluded herself into thinking that she deserves most of the attention of her darling on herself. Sadly she is aware of her lower status and that she wouldn’t be able to stop someone from taking you away from her which is why she uses Soma and the favor she has for her to her advantage. Truthfully though, she can also get jealous of Soma if he’s too invested in you since she doesn’t want the two of you to get too close. Soma tends to be unbearable and Mina doesn’t want him more involved in her life.

🟫She doesn’t have the physical strength not the connect and possibilities so it all boils down to using Soma again. Convincing him to let you work under him is already a good step since she can look after you like this a bit. If there are any difficulties, she normally just ends up guilt-tripping Soma and begging him for help with crocodile tears in her eyes. Mina had to be cautious since Agni knows about her true intentions but he has to follow the wishes of his master still and wants him to be happy.

🟫It’s mainly emotional blackmail that keeps you bound to her than the physical restriction. Mina is surprisingly good in using manipulative measurements to ensure that you stay with her. Even Soma is blinded quickly by her to support her so if you stray away from Mina and it ends up affecting her negatively, he’s quick to interfere. That’s undeniably more pressure on you too as you have a prince pushing you closer to his servant to help the relationship.

🟫Mina attenpt her hardest to keep up her facade of the kind and hardworking woman but sometimes her mask just slips and she ends up shouting a bit at you. She works so hard and endures this selfish boy everyday so she can be together with you and this is how you repay her?! Mina isn’t a powerful Yandere on her own but her connection to Soma gives her an advantage so she’s careful to continue to satisfy him by keeping him company so she can continue to use him as her ace card. She keeps you two apart as good as she can though since she doesn’t want you two to grow too close to each other.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere mina

47 notes · View notes

emoooooo · 1 year

Text

Dear Adulting!

Why are you so hard on each soul? Why do you teach us the lessons in a very hard way, everything seems weird when we go through adulting. Leaving my comfort zone was apparently the toughest thing for me to handle until last year. But this year, everything is tenfold difficult. Everything seems harder than it used to seem. Maybe because I have lost the things that once were the driving force between me and my life.

This year I’ve learned one of the harder lessons perhaps. This year I’ve learned that no matter how things go, no matter what goes down, you keep living. And you have to make sure that you don’t kill the inner child yet. Instead make that child grow, nurture them. Even if someone forgot to do that for you. Do that for your self.

This year ive learned that when we teach our children about financial independence and things like that we also have to give them a slight idea about the emotional independence as well. In the long run, if they’re financially so independent and doing well in terms of it, but they’re super dependent emotionally then well. They haven’t really achieved a thing in their lives. It is so difficult to train your mind and heart to be independent of people, especially in the emotional aspect, but we have to gradually learn that. Sometimes it gets a lot. When you’re out of your comfort zone, you still try to find people around you who are worthy of all that emotional energy. The similar one that you used to invest in your family or in the people closest to your heart. But as we move out of all that, we realise life isn’t what we thought it to be. It doesn’t consist of random people joining you through the way and becoming a part of your life. It consists of people who would come and join your life but won’t really care.

Life teaches you many things about many different people and makes you live without all of them. And with them even when you don’t feel like being with them at that moment. And so away from them even if you don’t have the energy to do that. And all of that gets simply too much sometimes.

A part of adulting is just making the heart live without the life support that it had before. Adulting is pretty hard sometimes. Most of the times. We ignore things and believe that they're not there as a part of fixing our problems, however these things keep collecting in the back of our head as ghosts, only to come back again, stronger than ever before and ready to haunt us when we’re at our weakest, when we have nothing to hope for or when we're terribly low.

I wonder if we can ever notice what exactly is there that makes us experience life the way we do. Is it something different, or just a bunch of things that stick along with us through our childhood, through our rough teenage years, only to turn us into a bunch of sad adults who are trying very hard but they still suck at the auditing part of life. Who know everything but how to play by the rules.

I am tired of the people around me, and sometimes I get so tired of bearing the weight of other people’s mistakes. Of doing the adulting for them as well when they’ve accidentally forgotten how to mature by themselves. I am tired of going an extra mile for people, when they wouldn’t do the same for me. Tired of figuring things out for others, when they wouldn’t do it for me. Why do i have to. Why can’t i sometimes be the baby and let people deal with it. Why?

I have no one to be immature in front of. No one who would take the blame or the bullet for me. And the hardest part is watching someone, my age, have all that while i have to be the adult for myself without anything or any support or any cushion to lay on to. Why does no one see it? Why does everyone leave me on my own. And i have this natural instinct to do the right thing because I know no one would save me or take one for me if i don’t. Why wasn’t i ever the rebellious child? Why did i grow up this way?

Dear adulthood, and the process, you’re so hard and yet I don’t understand a thing. I don’t know if I should be doing things like that or not. I don’t know anything about life. And i don’t even know that even after everything i do right, why do i always feel like nonsense? Why haven’t i been able to figure out a single thing in my life? Why am i not even being a baby and i don’t have everything sorted out for me as-well? I thought we only had one chance at things. I thought we only had one of the two ways of choosing things.

But life and each part is so so complicated and weird. I don’t understand even a bit of it.

I hope i understand all of it and get myself out of the messes I’m in. Before it is too late!

Sincerely,

Emaan.

18th December, 2022.

0 notes

rebeccajordan092 · 2 years

Link

#chilhood author expectation blog

0 notes

blacksunscorpio · 3 years

Text

Aphrodite No. 1388

Have you ever found yourself inexplicably fascinated with Hollywood sex symbols, fashion, arts, or general glamor? You've probably chalked it up to your Venus placement or stellium in the 2nd or 7th [The houses Venus rules] but what if I told you that might not be the only reason?

Yes, Asteroid Aphrodite No. 1388 is the placement you may want to peep. Especially if she's making prominent placements or aspects to your inner planets. Note: Pay attention to conjunctions/squares/oppositions the most and orbs within 0-3 degrees. Trines and sextiles are of note but only if they are respecting inner planets, the ascendant, and at the aforementioned degrees.

So let's get into it:

Aphrodite in Mythology

was the goddess of sex, love, beauty, passion, fertility, prosperity, and procreation. She was also patron goddess of prostitutes and believed no one should leave this world a virgin. She was wife of the god Hephaestus, god of blacksmiths and fire but also the most notable lover of Ares [her 'Soul mate'. So what does she represent in the birth chart?

All of the above.

Asteroid Aphrodite in her elevated expression is all about love, beauty, talent, and sex appeal. She is compassionate and generous. Independent, strong in her femininity, and charming. This asteroid has the ability to see beauty in everything and has an innate knack for creativity and artistic talents. A developed and healthy expression of sexuality and passion [not the toxic kind but the kind true love stories are made of]. She's all positive pleasure and sensuality. Body positivity and healthy expressions of sex.

In her base or lower expression, she's a bit like a toxic Lilith. She'll manifest as using attractiveness for underhanded means. Infidelity, repression of the sexual drive, callousness in love or arrogance based on vanity, vanity in general, sexual manipulation, fickleness, fixation of impossible standards of beauty, or superficiality regarding aesthetics. [Basically everything wrong with fashion and beauty today.] She can also manifest in the 6th house and/or ill-aspected as those who suffer from body dysmorphia or those who suffer from eating disorders due to these impossible beauty standards. Physical perfection becomes an obsession.

Now, if you have this particular asteroid prominently based in your chart, you may find that you value beauty, pleasure, and romance. There might be a taste for refined aesthetics and/or one can just be naturally gifted with creativity and art. Career-wise, one could find themselves drawn to jobs that revolve around fashion, interior design, modeling, make-up, photography, cooking, etc. If she's touching Mars or in the 8th, one could find themselves making sex work a part of their career as well.

Aphrodite in the signs

Aries: Two words: Sexuality promiscuous. Like the sign of Aries, the fire burns hot then goes out. Freedom and independence are paramount and they value those who see things similarly. Getting too emotionally invested in others is not appearing to them in any way, here for a good time, not a long time. Sporty aesthetic. Athleisure. Sex will likely be hard and fast.

Taurus: Love of the material. Base-level treasure seekers. However, they are typically quite attractive and even look pleasant when they don't put much effort in. Follow trends and keep up with the day-to-day fashion world. Most likely an Instagram fashion influencer. Love of glitz and glam. Shinier the better. Diamonds are their best friend.

Gemini: Serial fuckers. Literally, this aphrodite placement will have a full black book of names. A thousand notches on the belt. A million notches on the bedpost... well, you get the idea. Very charismatic and uses their intelligence to seduce. Sapiosexuals. Stimulate their mind and you might keep their attention... for an hour as opposed to 15 minutes like the rest. Will know everyone and everything about everyone. Life of the party and will charm with their wit.

Cancer: The emotional lover. Don't let this food you though, hurt them and they'll pull out their pincers. This Aphrodite placement loves to be nurtured and taken care of and will often do the same. Mood affects appearance. Charms using one of two things: their hard to get energy [Crabshell] or their love of family and togetherness [4th house]. No in-between, really.

Leo: Worship me vibes. Lovers of attention. This placement is very prideful. They don't like to share [their lovers] at all. Typically though, because of their love of the spotlight, their fashion sense is impeccable. They are hard to miss and will usually light up a room. Ignore them and you'll wound them.

Virgo: Immediate/outwardly "perfect" appearance. Because of this sign's attention to detail, they are often very pristine in their approach. Clean sex- the type in the shower or when one is freshly groomed around the genital area. Will use their "perfection" to pull the cream of the crop in the dating pool their way. This placement can go far in the fashion world and may even become designers. Often do well as dancers or some sort of aesthetic career that involves "precision".

Libra: Serial Flirt. With Aphrodite here, it's like getting a double shot of Venusian energy. Pleasant, charming... naturally beauties not unlike Taurean Aphrodite's. Don't mind casual sex or casual flings but prefer relationships. Very focused on aesthetics and, like Virgo Aphrodites could go far in their fashion world or make-up pursuits. Can be very superficial.

Scorpio: Alluring vibe. They WILL fuck a lot. It's in their nature. Will be loyal if they are in a committed partnership though. Can give off scary vibes or RBF but they feel things deeply. Their aesthetic is dark colors, black as elegance, an intimidating style that appears edgy. Artistically may enjoy all things Tim Burton.

Sagittarius: Vagabond vibes. Eternal traveler. Eternal nomad. Epitome of promiscuity here. However, quite laid back. Their aesthetic probably has something to do with maps or cartography. Bohemian energy with pictures or fabrics from the far east or even Africa. Most likely has a buddha head somewhere in their home. Speak to them in an accent or different language to turn them on.

Capricorn: Independent vibes. These aphrodite placements are not keen on sharing their lives too much with others. Very business-like. Sexually though, they are insatiable. Machines. They like things to but black tie or button up. This does not mean they aren't laid back, they just like things to be all work with very little play until said work is done. Name brands and expensive suits/dresses? They're all about that. It's a status symbol thing. What Caps are famous for.

Aquarius: Avant-garde vibes. This placement will cut their hand off before they lose their freedom. More vagabond-esque than Sag tbh. Will love a style that shocks you or is out of the ordinary. Not traditional in any sense. Their sex will be kinky or they'll prefer it to have some sort of spice. Missionary? Nope. Expect a toy or ten. Pansexuals. Free love. Don't try to get them to commit unless they're ready.

Pisces: Subtle vibes. Subtle style. Dreamy style. Sexually they need to be emotionally connected. May find themselves falling in love often with the idea of someone than the reality of them. Lovers of the grunge and druggy era. 90's vibes are their aesthetic with a touch of the ethereal. Messy art studios, messy hair, even messier love lives. Might attract co-dependent types. Day-dreamy.

#had to write about this one because of all the the asks blowing up my inbox #hope this helps #asteroid astrology #aphrodite 1388 #astro tumblr #astrology

1K notes · View notes

sunflowerhotline · 4 years

Text

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT.3

🦩Neptune in 1st and 5th people can often suffer from conditions like body dysmorphia due to an innate inability to see themselves as they truly are. keep in mind that this is not always the case but it is certainly very common with this aspect.

🦩In synastry, jupiter, uranus and/or venus in the 1st house is indicative of the planet person loving the house person’s body. jupiter likes and appreciates the ascendant’s body and usually goes out of their way to make the house person feel good about themselves, inside and out. uranus tends to be wholly accepting of the house person’s body which is usually a very welcomed feeling for the house person. venus usually sees the house person as their physical ideal.

🦩Aquarius MC natives usually do something first, then people follow. they’re trendsetters.

EX: Matisse Thybulle (20° Aquarius MC) is the NBA player who started “NBA Bubble Vlogs” and then many other players started doing the same thing.

🦩The house that the 8th house ruler falls in indicates your soulmate.

EX: 8th house ruler (Saturn) in 11th could indicate that your soulmate is one of your [older//male] friends.

🦩2nd house ruler in the 2nd house indicates spending money on or investing in things that bring you comfort. this is also a position indicative of emotional eating and emotional shopping.

🦩people with 8th house suns and 11th house suns tend to be very difficult people to truly get to know.

8th house suns are more outwardly mysterious so it’s less surprising when one realises they don’t know much about them.

11th house suns are seemingly more open and are very friendly. they relate to people in a way that gives others the impression that they know everything about them when they really don’t.

🦩mercury in 12th house people have others talk over them on a regular basis. they’ll be in the middle of a sentence and someone just cuts them off and starts talking about something else or they just get ignored completely.

🦩a lot of people with 10th and 11th house stelliums are actually introverts. they can be social butterflies when they’re ready and they do love interacting with others and meeting new people but social interaction can actually be draining for these people. these are the people who are the life of the party when they go to an event but then disappear and go into hibernation for 3 months after.

🦩moon square saturn in synastry is a lot more common than people even realise. many, many, many married couples have this aspect together! it may be a more difficult aspect to have but the people who have this aspect in their synastry usually believe that they’re gonna be together forever (and they usually are) so eventually they decide to work out their problems. i’ve noticed that couples with this aspect get closer to each other after experiencing any kind of hardship or tragedy; their bond is strengthened through overcoming things together. it’s not easy but it is an indicator of undying devotion.

🦩pisces and sagittarius placements get along way better than cookbook astrology gives them credit for. they seem to really compliment each other. pisces usually softens sagittarius up and sagittarius usually appreciates the pisces kindness. they accept each other’s differences really well and allow each other to be who they are. they give each other the freedom they both require.

🦩someone’s ascendant conjunct your midheaven (mc) may indicate that you look up to them. in a sense, they’re everything you’ve ever wanted to be…or they at least come off that way

🦩people with hard mercury-saturn aspects have deep and (kinda) monotone voices. they have a tendency to talk slowly; they take their time with their words. when explaining something they also have a tendency to say “uh//hmm//umm” or “do you know what i mean?”. they’re voices are also pretty recognisable

EX: Harry Styles (Aquarius Mercury @ 29° conjunct Pisces Saturn @ 0°) has a distinct, deep speaking voice. In interviews, he is known to speak slowly as if he’s really thinking about what he is saying or is about to say. he is also a frequent user of “ahm” in his sentences.

🦩virgo placements are really good at folding.

🦩MANY MANY MANY MANY musicians have neptune in 3rd. it bestows a sort of mesmerising musical talent to the natives who are blessed enough to have this placement. they have great voices and may also be gifted with instruments.

EX: Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Madonna, Kurt Cobain, Britney Spears, Harry Styles (again lol), John Mayer, Jaden Smith, Dua Lipa, Marvin Gaye, Louis Armstrong, Halsey etc.

🦩neptune in 10th natives can have a “can’t-do-wrong” reputation. people can see them as angels on earth even when that may not be the case. these people could also do some kind of humanitarian work for a living or be involved with many causes. many people with this placement complain about being seen in a way that isn’t who they truly are. neptune in the house of public perception tends to allow others to project whatever they want onto the native; they can be very misunderstood by people around them.

EX: Diana, Princess of Wales, Oprah Winfrey, Jesus Christ, Bernie Sanders, Walt Disney, Aaliyah, Gigi Hadid.

🦩women with their moon in a house ruled by a masculine planet (1st, 5th, 7th, 9th, 10th, 11th) could have many male friends but have trouble maintaining some friendships with men because the male friend may develop romantic feelings for her. it happens A LOT.

the opposite goes for men. men with their moons in feminine houses (2nd, 4th, 8th, 12th) could have many female friends but one or a few of them may develop feelings for him. these are more private houses so she/they may never confess their feelings

🦩people with 10th house venus often attract and go for older partners and im not talking about people who are like 20 years older (ik that can happen but it’s a rare case) but people who are like right outside their age group so maybe 5-6 years older.

these people can also experience getting “hit on” by older people while they are very young.

🦩air mars gets a reputation for being lethargic, overly polite, non-physical and low energy but air martians just need an outlet to put their energy into. lots of athletes have air mars

EX: Kobe Bryant (Libra Mars), Kyrie Irving (Aquarius Mars), Bam Adebayo (Libra Mars), Tiger Woods (Gemini Mars), Tom Brady (Gemini Mars), Lance Armstrong (Aquarius Mars), Lou Gehrig (Libra Mars), Floyd Mayweather (Aquarius Mars), Marcus Smart (Aquarius Mars)

🦩lots of basketball players also have venus-mars aspects

EX: Kawhi Leonard ( conjunction in Leo), Kobe Bryant (conjunction in Libra), Jayson Tatum (sextile - capricorn/pisces), Vince Carter (sextile - pisces/capricorn), Steph Curry (trine - taurus/capricorn), Zion Williamson (conjunction in Cancer), Lonzo Ball (conjunction in Sagittarius), Magic Johnson (conjunction in Virgo)

3K notes · View notes

rosepetalmark · 3 years

Text

it was good until it wasn’t

↬ pairing: kim doyoung x reader ↬word count: 3k ↬ genre: angst, mentions of fluff ↬warnings: mentions of sex, it’s pretty sad (you may shed a tear or two i’m v sorry) ↬ synopsis: breakups suck, especially when you’re still in-love and don’t understand where you both went wrong.

he makes it look so easy.

ignoring your texts, coming home late, barely saying a word to you when you’re together. you can’t hate him for it though, you’re the exact same.

you wonder why he doesn’t break up with you already. your relationship was basically hopeless at this point and you both know it isn’t going anywhere- it hasn’t been going anywhere for months now.

it pains you seeing him not stare at you lovingly anymore. you grew so fond of the idea of spending hours on the phone talking about the dumbest things, staying up late watching reruns of your favourite shows, even making him do face masks with you when you wanted to do self care days. you knew he loved it of course, but he always played it off as something he detested because seeing you pout over his lack of interest in a sheet mask always made him love you ten times more.

you haven’t felt his touch in two months. it was like you were living with a ghost, the feeling of his presence ever so prominent, but the actual feeling and embracement of him completely diminished. every morning he’d wake you up by kissing both your cheeks, quiet laughter humming from his chest as he admired your sleepy presence in his quest to get you to start your day.

now you wake up to the sound of him sighing as he leaves your shared bed, his empty presence filling the quiet room, causing you to feel lonely.

never in the several years of knowing doyoung did you ever imagine that his presence would become something that no longer brought you happiness.

you’ve both drifted, but you’re still together- too stubborn to admit to yourselves and each other that this relationship has run its course, forming a cohabitation with one another rather than maintaining a loving, healthy relationship.

it’s complicated, you like to believe. trying to puzzle together when everything went wrong. but you can’t because all you remember is that one day you were both madly in love with one another and the next you acted as if you were strangers.

deep down you’re scared. you’ve spent so many years and time and effort in your relationship with doyoung that you don’t truly know what life outside of him is like.

you may not have long talks anymore or stay up late watching movies or even have sex- damn you missed the days where you both would divulge in sex multiple times a week, but gosh did you find solace in his presence.

when he’s not there in bed beside you when you wake up each morning you feel empty, like a piece of your heart has been ripped out of your body and hidden halfway across the world for you to find.

he’s all you’ve touched and laughed and connected with in years and to have that ripped away from you is beyond frightening.

he’s all you know.

you yearn for the days when you were fresh in love and could never keep your hands off each other, wanting to be in each other’s presence 24/7. sadly the days of two twenty years olds having quickies in the backseat of a car and drunkenly singing karaoke at three in the morning on friday nights at the local bar were long gone. you’re not two college kids in love anymore, just two completely different adults who fell out of it.

it hurts reminiscing about the way his hands would find your waist and how his chin dipped into your neck when he found you speaking with your friends at parties; the way he would sing to you when you had trouble falling asleep, bringing you to his piano to play you whatever melody he created earlier in the day just to bring you comfort, even if it meant he was losing sleep in the process.

you especially miss his attempts at making you iced coffee in the morning. it was such a mundane act, but no matter how hard he tried and how closely he followed the instructions you gave him (not as if making iced coffee was hard anyways), he’d always make it too bitter. but you still drank it anyway, because you loved doyoung with every fibre in your being, and anything he did for you made you appreciate and fall in love with him even more. everything he did for you showed how deeply he loved and cared for you.

now you don’t get any of it. no obnoxious flirting when out in public. no beautiful nights falling asleep to his soft, angelic voice, wrapped up warmly in his tender arms. and especially no bitter, watered down iced coffee.

you’re lucky enough if he holds your hand when out in public with friends, not wanting anyone to clue in on the lack of intimacy and love that ceases to exist between the two of you.

you used to be that annoying couple who couldn’t get enough of one another, always finding ways to be in each other’s presence whenever you went out together, wanting to show the world that you were his and he was yours. now you can barely look each other in the eyes for more than five minutes without an unnecessary argument beginning to brew.

you wish you could have that all back. the routine. the peace. the love you both shared. you’re just two adults who can’t even be mature enough to break off a six year relationship because you’re both too comfortable with the thought of one another; too scared to leave what you’ve built as a couple to realize that this once great love affair has turned into something so sad and toxic, pulling you back from what you both deserve in life.

your friends have been telling you to sit down and speak to him about your feelings, his urging you both to call it quits for months now, claiming you’re making your friendship dynamic awkward, and in the end only harming yourselves. but they don’t understand what it’s like to have something so beautiful ripped from your hands without a warning, because that’s what this all felt like. as if someone swooped in and stole your bond with doyoung, when in actuality it was just the two of you growing apart-one thing you never thought would ever occur.

those four dry months eventually turned into a fifth, and that’s when you knew you had to pull the plug. you couldn’t keep living like this- wasting your life and heart and energy on a relationship that ended so long ago. it was draining the life out of you both and it was painfully evident in your faces.

the days of crying over him have long passed, making it much easier to process that you won’t ever be with him again, mentally checking out after the first two months this distance became a regular occurrence. that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt ending a love that once was your everything.

you remember so clearly the day doyoung asked you out. it was a monday after a lecture you both shared, the both of you walking alongside campus, too invested in your conversations with one another to say goodbye. you both knew you had feelings for one another, every interaction between the two of you held an abundance of smiles and rosy red cheeks.

he bit the bullet and asked if you wanted to grab dinner some time, just the two of you and away from your chaotic friend group, wanting it to be an actual date and not a group outing.

that was six years ago, and the butterflies you felt in your stomach the moment he said he wanted to date you still linger when you think back to such heartfelt innocence.

when you finally decided enough was enough and the words eventually left your mouth, he wasn’t even upset. he showed no sign of emotion, a stoic expression stuck on his tender face, only a nod of agreement following your difficult confession.

he knew he didn’t have to say anything and you didn’t expect him to. there was no fighting for something that didn’t exist anymore. doyoung may have been your boyfriend by title, but these last few months he was just doyoung. not your lover. not your best friend. just doyoung.

a stranger you know who’s smile and laugh and kisses you’ll forever have ingrained in your brain, but have not come into pure contact with for an unreasonable amount of time.

and you can’t even hate him for this breakup because he hasn’t done anything wrong. you simply grew apart, and you hate how you drug it out for so long where it got to the point where you can’t even look him into the eyes without feeling some sort of pain and resentment. the only thing you wish you could go back and change was to talk about it, because who knows, the both of you could have either resolved whatever underlying issues you had, or you would’ve been broken up by now- not stranded and confused as to where your life and relationship is going.

you never pictured you’d end up like this, assuming by the time you were in your late twenties you’d be engaged, with a dog, constantly looking at homes online for you and doyoung to one day grow your future family in. you so desperately wanted to be his forever, the one he turned to for everything. the father of your children, the greatest love of your life the entire world had to offer.

that was all in the past now.

the entire “official” breakup didn’t even hit you until doyoung was moving his stuff out of your shared apartment, little pieces of him vanishing as each minute passed.

the picture of your two year anniversary is no longer on display in the living room, the frame facing the table to signal that the once happy couple in that old photograph are no longer together and madly in love.

the pastel flower magnets doyoung loved to collect and place on the fridge ceased to exist, leaving your kitchen slightly less colourful and fun as they were tossed away in one of the many random boxes he got from the hardware store earlier.

even the ugly rustic coffee table you hated but he adored- something that totally clashed with the aesthetic of the apartment but reminded doyoung of his childhood, all removed from your shared space and never to be seen in your presence again. you begged doyoung for a new one years ago but he always managed to convince you it had charm, always flashing you a wide grin in his process to win your heart over. you never thought the day would come where you’d miss seeing it in your living room.

everything was so clean and spacious. everything was gone.

it was weird seeing your once cluttered home look so different. yet despite all the space, every single memory and experience you shared with doyoung was ever present in your mind, overwhelming you all at once as no future memories between the two of you will be made.

it felt like just yesterday you both signed the lease, accidentally spilling red wine on the brand new white rug doyoung bought an hour after you got the keys, knowing you were eyeing it for months online, refusing to buy it until you officially had a place together. you were both so excited to start your lives here. to be young and to evolve and to explore your relationship in a manner more romantic and mature than you had the last few years.

all his instruments and songbooks that were once scattered in the corner of your living room are gone, packed in their cases and in doyoung’s car, awaiting their new home once he takes his remaining items and leaves.

it hurts the most when thinking about the bedroom. you haven’t slept there since he started packing his things four days ago, not wanting to get emotional over half the room and its belongings disappearing with what felt like a snap of the fingers.

but you had to make your way in there now, because all you could hear coming from the thin white wall down the hallway were soft, hiccupped sobs- such emotion you weren’t familiar with in months.

part of you wants to let him be and pretend like you hear nothing just so he can gather his thoughts and belongings and be on his way.

but you can’t. because despite how much you tell yourself that this is for the best and you’re past everything, you’re not. there’s a huge part of you that still cares so deeply for doyoung and you wouldn’t ever wish pain on him.

quietly walking into your bedroom towards your once shared bed, you sit beside him. grabbing his hand, you can feel the warmth radiating from his body, reminding you of the days you’d go on long walks, him never letting go of you because he never wanted to break physical contact.

“hi.” you whisper, not entirely sure how to spark a conversation with him. you haven’t been this vulnerable with him in what feels like forever, the last time you saw him cry was over two years ago when your relationship was seemingly at its best. he hasn’t been this upset was when he thought he lost taeyong’s dog, but it turned out that it was yuta’s day to watch him while he went to work.

“hey.” he says, his voice raspy and shaky due to the tears, his face red with anxiety.

“so we’re really doing this, huh?” you ask, your voice beginning to shake as well. seeing doyoung cry always breaks your heart, and the fact that he’s doing so after you both ended things makes you want to crawl in a hole and never leave.

this was hitting you too hard. so much harder than you could’ve ever imagined. you thought that because you both just fell apart and seemed unbothered by such a drastic change in your lives and relationship that he’d pack his things and you’d both be on with your lives. but now that you’re both separating from one another for good when all you’ve known was each other for years, it’s soul crushing.

doyoung is here in your once shared bedroom holding your hand and crying with you because you both failed to make your relationship work despite having such strong feelings for one another.

you love this man so much, yet you know there’s nothing you can do to bring you both back to the state you were once in. you’re different people now, and you can’t mold back into the two young, horny, and madly in love college sophomores anymore thinking you’re going to be together forever.

“god i hate this!” he yells in between sobs, his face getting more and more red as the tears stream down his face. and you hate this too, because you didn’t think this whole process would cause each of you to bawl your eyes out because you don’t want to leave a love and comfort you’ve both outgrown.

you wiped his tears with your fingers, caressing his cheeks to reassure him that none of this is his fault. you needed to be strong for him and yourself, because unfortunately this is life and even the shittiest things happen to good people.

falling out of love unfortunately falls into that category.

he places a kiss on your forehead and wraps his arms tightly around your frame as a final goodbye, embracing all of you within these last few moments as a reminder of how much love and respect he has for you.

“so this is it.” he whispers softly, slowly getting up from the bed and untangling himself from his previous hold on you, acting as if his emotional outburst didn’t even happen, composing himself to make this already hard process the slightest bit easier.

matching his actions, you get up as well and follow him out of the bedroom, glancing back at your half empty room and feeling your heart shatter.

no more stealing his sweaters when you’re cold and want to be comfy. no more late nights of talking or making love. no more doyoung.

“this is it.” you whisper back, not having much to say, the tightness in your chest growing further as you continue to relish in such heartbreak together. you were each other’s first serious loves, and not having that constant in your lives will be such a heart wrenching adjustment.

“i love you, doyoung.” you say, needing to remind him that there will always be a part of him in your heart and that you’re sorry things ended this way.

“i know, love. i’ll always love you. i’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“i’d like that.” you nod, the emotions filling up your chest, suddenly making it hard to breathe knowing this is all happening now. “be safe getting to your apartment.”

“always.” he winked, tears evident in his eyes as he began to turn his body away from yours and towards the final box beside the front door, turning the knob and leaving for good- gone from the love and home you’ve both invested so much time and warmth into.

you’ve spent so much of your life with this man, planned so much and anticipated such a beautiful future just for it to end and for you both not to know how to fix the broken pieces you left each other in.

maybe someday in the future you and doyoung will get back together and plan that beautiful wedding and have those three beautiful kids in a big house with a pool and a baby french bulldog.

but as for now you are letting go.

#nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct 127 scenarios #doyoung scenarios #doyoung imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct smut #kim doyung #nct #nct 127 #nct angst #kim doyoung scenarios

180 notes · View notes

petri808 · 3 years

Text

Nalu Yakuza Au *cover art by @jmoart214 💜

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |

The tit for tat game was well known to both of their top confidants and lieutenants because it had been going on ever since Natsu and Lucy broke up. Plus, it was hard to get around such knowledge considering most of them came from the same neighborhoods. These intrigues ebbed and flowed like waves. Months could pass by without any interactions between the two, at other times they’d go back and forth continuously until one of them finally gave up, and on the odd occasion ended in a huge fight that led to another round of ignoring each other. Up until now, it had been kind of amusing to watch them torture each other because it was better than a drama shows on television. But that didn’t mean Natsu, and Lucy’s friends didn’t worry about one or both being truly hurt one day because of it.

“It’s fine,” Natsu rolled his eyes as Gray chastised him after the soapland incident. The two men were at Natsu’s home after work hours and supposed to be relaxing. But clearly his friend didn’t want to drop the subject. “What’s the big deal?”

“Dude, you let yourself be blindfolded in a public space! Have you forgotten what kind of business we’re in? What if it had been an assassin instead?”

“Oh, that’s just ridiculous. We’re talking about Lucy’s company, and I trust their security measures because she has just as much to lose if a hit took place there.”

“Still, you should be more careful, at least take a bodyguard with you…”

Natsu’s eyebrow twitched in irritation. “And what, so they can watch the show? We got any voyeurs on the payroll? Cause I can’t think of anyone here who’d wanna see another guy getting his balls fondled!”

Gray ran a hand down his face. “So not the mental image I wanted. You’re missing the point.” He sighed. “Natsu you are the head of this clan, and your safety is my top priority.”

“I get it, I get it,” Natsu drawled.

“And frankly,” Gray continued, “you’ve become distracted by her lately.”

“Tch! No, I haven’t!”

“Yeah, you are. You think I haven’t noticed? I know you drive by her place sometimes. I know you’ve followed her to that coffee shop she likes to frequent. But ever since her employee was robbed, things have escalated again.”

“You’re imagining things and apparently spying on me. I’m just keeping an eye on the competition.”

“Watching over you is my job! That’s not spying.” Gray crossed his arms. “And oh, it’s no doubt that you’re keeping an eye on her. That’s why you went to Katsunuma’s party and to soapland too. The problem is you’re getting sloppy and sloppy gets people killed.”

Natsu groaned. “Are you done yet? We’re supposed to be enjoying the baseball game, not psychoanalyzing my life.”

“Almost.” Gray placed a hand on his friends’ knee and leaned in. “Natsu, you’ve been chasing that tail since high school, just lock her down and convince her to work together already.”

Natsu snorted a laugh. “Gray we all grew up together, so what in all these years makes you think that’s a possibility? You know damn well Lucy’s not a woman you can control without her consent.” Natsu knew that, and frankly he loved that part of her. In fact, it made him even more fired up whenever he thought about it, just like a treasure you don’t just find but must win at the end of a game. “I’ll find a way, some day.”

“Well until that day arrives, could you promise me you’ll be more cautious?”

“Fine, fine,” Natsu waved his hand. “I’ll back off of Lucy for now.”

“Good.” Gray relaxed back onto his recliner thinking the drama was over.

“However, there is a new guy I want surveillance placed on.”

“Who?”

“The bartender from the party.”

Gray groaned. “Seriously? Why? He’s just a bartender!”

“I don’t trust him.”

“Was he spiking the drinks or something? Dealing drugs at the party?”

“Maybe.”

Gray huffed. “You really gonna try that? Do I look like an idiot? This is just straight jealousy talking.”

“I don’t care! I want someone to dig up what they can on the guy!”

“No, what you wanna know is if he fucked Lucy that night!”

Natsu jumped up with his fists clenched. “Fuck you!”

“Fuck you too!” Gray stood up and matched his boss’s energy. “Unless you give me a damn good reason to check into him, I’m not wasting my guy’s time! You might be the boss, but don’t you fucking forget who you’re talking to! I’m not some punk off the streets!”

Realizing he was taking things too far, Natsu sat back down. “Sorry.”

Gray sighed and plopped back down too. “I only joined because you asked me to and you’re my best friend, then I helped you build this new empire, so I’m just as invested in protecting it as you are. But Natsu, personal emotions have led to the downfall of many in this business, and as a friend, I’ll check you any time I think you’re going to far.”

“You’re right…” Natsu sighed too. “She just gets me so worked up.”

“Don’t I know it,” Gray laughed, but stopped when Natsu glared at him. “Sorry, it slipped out.”

“But I swear, there’s something suspicious about him. When he saw me, I thought he just reacted because he thought I was Lucy’s boyfriend or something, but the more I think about it, he might have recognized me.”

“Well, that wouldn’t necessarily be suspicious either.”

“True. But the look in his eyes just made me wonder.”

“Alright…” Gray groaned, “if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll have someone do some digging. So, you said he has orange hair and glasses, and the name on his tag was Loke?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s an unusual name, shouldn’t be too hard to check on.”

Over the course of a couple of weeks, Gray sent out feelers for any information on this Loke guy. Katsunuma junior gave them their first small lead that the bartender had worked the party through a local food catering company. That catering company was a legitimate business who had both full-time staff as well as independent contractors brought in per event as needed. Loke had been one of the latter. From there Gray obtained a last name, de Lioncourt.

According to his sources at the local precinct, Loke de Lioncourt had no rap sheet, no prior dealings with police, and for all they knew was an average citizen. The man’s Line blog profile listed him as a 28-year-old, Japanese/French American, model and bartender, and it was filled with pictures from events, parties, as well as many gorgeous women— none of which contained Lucy. But as Gray trolled through the man’s feed, he did come across one person he recognized and passed the information along to Natsu.

“Wow, she’s in a bunch of photos,” Natsu mumbled as he scrolled through the blog.

“Well, considering Cana’s reputation are you surprised. Parties and alcohol are the two things that woman lives for.” Gray laughed. “Now see, this makes sense to me. Lucy and him, not so much.”

“Tch… still pisses me off he even tried.”

“Lucy’s a free woman, she can go out with whoever she wants to.”

“We’ll see about that,” Natsu mumbled low.

“What was that?” Gray asked with a raised brow.

“Nothing.”

“Better be nothing, cause this is a dead end. He’s just a flirty bartender. It’s how they make tips.”

“Yeah, yeah, fine.” Natsu sat back in his chair. “So, back to business. What this I heard about some missing stock?”

“Oh, right. One of the warehouse clerks noticed a shortage, but when I checked with Yura, he said the books were fine. I had him show it to me, and it appears the numbers were just inverted by accident. So, instead of 185 kilos, it’s supposed to be 158 kilos.”

“Did you talk to the clerk again? Does he have any history of messing up like this?”

“Nah, he’s one of our better clerks.”

“Just keep an eye on it.”

“Sure thing, boss. By the way, have you seen Gajeel today?” Gray questioned. “I haven’t seen him.”

“He called me this morning said he wasn’t feeling well, thinks he ate something bad for dinner last night.”

“Tch, seriously? Thought he had an iron stomach?”

Natsu shrugged. “Must’a been some bad sushi or something. We ain’t got much happening today, so it’s fine. Anything else? I got some stuff I need to finish.”

Gray tapped his chin. “Just a reminder you have an appointment with our tech guy dropping by later this week to go over some upgrades on the system.”

“Like I’m supposed to know anything about that stuff, it’s what I pay him for.”

“You still gotta approve it,” Gray shrugged and took his leave.

Once the man was completely out of the office, Natsu opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a nondescript box he’d hidden inside. He grinned to himself. It was time to make another special delivery. Even though he’d told Gray he was backing off the whole Lucy and Loke subject, there was no way he was gonna let it slide. Natsu didn’t care if the man seemed legit, and he wasn’t the first nor would probably be the last that he’d eventually scared away. And besides, being a Yakuza boss had a lot of down times too, easily filled with having a little fun.

Today’s little care package was being sent to Lucy by a courier service and Natsu just had to drop it off to the delivery company. Just a normal company like Kuroneko Yamato so it wouldn’t rouse too many suspicions. It was turning into a fun game for him just coming up with ideas of what he could do to rile Lucy up or irritate this Loke guy. Natsu chuckled to himself. So far, his favorite prank was a box of small sized condoms and a bottle of enhancement pills that he’d had delivered to Loke while on the job at another party. He’d even snuck in to watch it delivered, gaining a good laugh when the man took a peek in the box and frowned at its contents.

It was childish, but Natsu didn’t care. Every day for two weeks now, something new was sent to Loke. Random gifts like children’s candy to a toy gun, a big bottle of lubricant wrapped in a bow, a week’s worth of meals sent for lunch one day, even an empty box with rocks inside it just to drive the man crazy wondering who in the world was sending them. Lucy too wasn’t immune to his pranks, though hers had a different feel to them. Flowers with no note attached. Tickets to a canceled show he made up. A supposed dinner invite from Loke that wasn’t real— okay that was to test her, but she didn’t fall for it. And today’s little care package fit right into his prank scheme.

Natsu dropped off the package at a Kuroneko Yamato office with the address instructions already filled out and paid the company’s employee extra to keep their mouths shut. ‘She’s gonna kill me one day,’ he laughed to himself as he rode back to his office. ‘If it’s suffocation by her boobs it wouldn’t be a bad way to go!’

“Anymore stops sir?” The driver asked Natsu.

“Nope. Back to the office.”

He looked at his watch. The package should be arriving at Lucy’s office within the hour. Give or take another to open it, and by 4pm he would be receiving another phone call. Maybe he won’t answer it. Oh, that would piss her off even more! ‘Well, if she’d just take the hint...’

The afternoon was supposed to be mellow at headquarters that day. No shipments, and no appointments. But when Natsu got back, another general in the organization named Jellal Fernandez came to his office to inform him of a problem. One of the new local restaurants in their territory was refusing to cooperate and he wanted to know how Natsu wanted it handled. They were right in the middle of discussing it, when Natsu’s office door flew open with a loud bang!

In stomped Lucy who immediately threw a box at his head, causing Natsu to duck and Jellal to pull his gun.

“Don’t!” Natsu screamed at his general and motioned for him to stand down, to which the man complied. “Do you have a death wish Lucy!”

“Get. Out.” She snapped at the general. “Get out! This is between me and your boss!”

Jellal looked to Natsu, who nodded his head to scram. “I got this, don’t worry.” The man holstered his gun and left, but Natsu could see he’d stayed right outside of the now closed door.

“I take it you didn’t like the gift,” Natsu pretended to stay calm.

“Gee, me throwing it at you give you that impression? I know it’s you sending all these damn deliveries to me and Loke. That needs to stop now!”

He crossed his arms and scoffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Play dumb all you want. Just stop! Why are you even doing this?!”

“Take a guess,” he sneered back.

“I could’ve sworn we were adults now, but apparently I’m the only one who grew up. Stay out of my love life Natsu!”

“So, you admit you’re sleeping with the guy!”

“That’s none of your damn business! I can fuck whoever I want!”

“Not as long as I’m alive,” Natsu growled back.

Lucy crossed her arms. “That could be arranged.”

“Is that a threat?!”

“Yes! If you don’t stay out of my love life!”

“A woman shouldn’t be sleepi—”

“Don’t you finish that sentence!” Lucy grabbed a stapler that was within reach and chucked it at Natsu’s head. “Stop trying to control me!”

“Are you crazy?!”

At that moment, Gray barged into the room. He’d heard the screaming from the other side of the office, and when he got close enough to see Jellal standing outside the door, he became alarmed. Why would a general leave Natsu vulnerable! The man told him their boss told him to leave, but as the sounds inside escalated, Gray couldn’t wait anymore.

“Stop it!!” Gray got between them. “What are you two doing! Lucy you shouldn’t be here!”

“Then tell your damn boss to leave me the fuck alone!” Lucy spat back. “Ask him how he’s been harassing Loke and me!”

Gray turned to his boss with a groan. “Natsu, we talked about this!”

“Tell Gray what you been doing!” Lucy pressed. “Show him the stupid packages you send!”

“What packages?” Gray looked to Lucy, then repeated the question as he stared at his boss. “What packages?”

“Tch,” Natsu crossed his arms, “it’s not even that bad.”

Lucy stomped over to where the box fell and picked it up, pulling the contents out. “Bullshit!” She snapped as she held up a very racy, red nightie with flame prints, a pair of fluffy handcuffs, and a large dildo. “See this shit?!” Lucy shook the floppy latex toy at Gray before chucking it to the ground again. “He includes messages too,” then handed the man a folded piece of paper.

Gray read it aloud, “to make up for what playboy lacks. Had it custom made to my size wink wink. Ugh, seriously man,” he tossed the letter.

Natsu shrugged. “I was just having fun.”

“This is the yakuza, not a daycare!” Gray snaps. “I’m not here to babysit the boss so he stops harassing the competition! There’s more important business to worry about!”

“That’s right listen to Gray,” Lucy sneered.

Gray turned to her. “Oh, you ain’t innocent either, so don’t even try it. You both do things to purposely rile the other up and get mad when there’s consequences. Stop it!” He looked back and forth between the two. “Just stop it already!”

Natsu and Lucy looked away from the man with scowls on their faces. Neither wanted to admit he was right.

“Jellal,” Gray called out. When the man entered, he instructed him to escort Lucy out of there. “Next time, just call me instead. It’s best you two just stay away from each other. Got it?!”

“Yeah,” Lucy grumped.

“Got it?!” Gray questioned his boss.

“Yeah,” Natsu mumbled.

“Fucking like high school,” Gray ran a hand down his face in irritation. “You two need therapy.”

#nalu #nalu au #nalu fan fic #nalu fan fiction #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #ch 6 #we'll take back heaven #petri808

78 notes · View notes

minniboe · 4 years

Text

The brothers powers and pacts

Pacts in general:

Making a pact creates a bond between you and the demon, this allows the demon to feed on you while in return you get to use some of that demon's power, their charm becomes available to you trough the pactmark albeit it will be less powerful then if the demon was using it.

Via the pactmark a demon is able to tell what emotion their human is feeling, this happens involuntarily when the human activates their pacts, most often to use the charm power of said demon.

Each pact has it's own advantages and disadvantages which will be listed below.

Lucifer

Power:

Lucifer, the morning star has the power to instill pride into those around him. Be it pride over an accomplishment or simply pride in themself. He can increase the pride to such a degree that it becomes a hindrance, with people unwilling to ask for help and they will start to always push themself to do better leading them to overwork themselves. Lucifer has to power to make others succeed in their endeavors, while others will find every plan they make fail horribly no matter how hard they try.

Pact:

A pact with lucifer will give you power beyond your wildest dreams, vast magic power and an increase in physical strength are to be expected. You will find that all your plans will start to succeed, great success will come to you. Your pride will also increase which will allow you to take pride in yourself and in your work but you can and most likely will become so prideful that it starts to hinder you as well.

Mammon

Power:

Mammon power is one that makes people greedy, those affected become unwilling to part with the things they have and they will want the things they don't have. Those affected by his power become so greedy that they will resort to stealing, threatening, gambling, begging, swindling, mugging, and other underhanded tactics to get that which they desire. As avatar of greed mammon governs riches, those he likes will gain vast riches and wealth while those he doesn't will find themself with nothing left to their name

Pact:

Making a pact with Mammon will ensure that money and vast wealth come your way. Gambling and investing will have favorable results. You will become much more greedy then you ever were before and are always left wanting for more. You will get the urge to take what isn't yours.

Leviathan

Power:

Levi's power is one that makes other people envious of each other or of him, this envy can come out of everything be it if someone has longer hair, is taller then you, can dance better than you, if they have a pet, it does not mather Levi's power will make you feel jealous it will make you desire that what others have. Another power he possesses is to enhance the insecurities people have, he can enhance them to an overwhelming degree. Those Levi has grown close to will find themself less anxious than ever before while those he holds a grudge to find themself overwhelmed thanks to all the anxiety they will have.

Pact:

Levi's pact makes other people envious of you, they will want to be more like you. You'll notice people start copying some of your mannerisms with other copying specific articles of clothing you wear. This however can be seen as a blessing as a curse as some people will treat you badly because they are envious. You will however also become envious of others and feel your insecurities come out more often, getting something to distract yourself is recommended.

Satan

Power:

Satan a demon who sprung forward out of Lucifer's anger is capable of dragging out the rage and anger within others, which often leads to fights and disputes. Those affected by his power will get irritated and enraged by pretty much everything even if they would normally take joy from it. Another ability Satan possess contrasts his primary power, he can make people focus on a particular subject, to the point where they'll ignore everything else around them. Those with Satan's favor will find that their academic endeavors to prosper while those who anger him find learning or remembering information to become a challenging task.

Pact:

A pact with Satan is good for your mind. Intellect and vast knowledge will come easy to you. While your mind becomes expended your temper will also increase you will find yourself getting frustrated more then you would before, so finding something to change your anger is a must.

Asmodeus

Power:

Every demon has the power to charm humans, Asmo takes this power to a whole other level with the ability to charm every living being that looks into his eyes. Those that fall under Asmo's spell find themself wanting to comply with his every wish, it doesn't matter if they would do it of their own free will or not. Asmodeus can look inside someone's soul and see what they desire, that which they long for, and drag it to the surface so that people will start acting on it.

Pact:

Those under a pact with Asmo find themself being noticed, whenever they enter a room eyes will fall on them. People will hang on your lips, agree with your statements, and try to please you by fulfilling your requests. Those under a pact with Asmo become more physically appealing towards others. However all this attention comes at a price, people will desire you so badly that some will lie and cheat to get close to you. People will want you and some are willing to pay every cost to get you.

Beelzebub

Power:

Beel's power allows him to make other people feel hungry, this can range from small cravings to an overwhelming sensation of hunger, accompanied by hunger cramps, even if the person in question has just eaten. He can make someone crave a specific food or just all food in general. A less expected power of Beel is to bring good health to those he likes, making them resistant to sickness even making their bodies become fitter. While those that wrong him find themself getting sick more often and their bodies get out of shape much faster.

Pact:

A pact with Beel makes it so you can eat all the food you desire and never gain weight, building muscle instead. Those under a pact with Beel can expect an increase in physical strength, muscle mass, and health. You'll find yourself hungry more often and you'll need to eat more to satisfy yourself, so make sure you always have snacks on hand.

Belphegor

Power:

Belphie has the power to lull people to sleep, which can range from a short nap to something more extreme like a coma that lasts multiple months. Belphie is in control of the dream realm, creating peaceful dreams or terrifying nightmares. He can enter someone's dream, let other's enter his dreams, and even link the dreams of multiple people together.

Pact:

A pact with Belphie means that sleep will come to you easily and when you wake up you will feel well-rested with each nap feeling like a full night of sleep. However, you will have to sleep more often than most as your energy will deplete much faster, so you'll have to take power naps during the day.

#obey me!#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date?#obey me lucifer #obye me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me headcannons

840 notes · View notes

sugar-petals · 3 years

Note

Can you do a tarot reading on how BTS really feels about this new direction they're taking and the english songs they made? Thank you

you actually made me curious myself! let's see what the good ole cards are saying for a change. whenever i lay the tarot for bangtan it’s like the deck is some steps ahead and puzzlingly reflects things we wouldn’t guess so this perspective might be of interest albeit being divination.

BTS’ NEW ERA: Members' Thoughts/Feelings (Classic Tarot Reading)

DISCLAIMER // no guarantee for accuracy. believing in the cards is a choice, all portrayals are speculative and for entertainment purposes only.

THE SPREAD

⌜ taehyung ⌟ THREE OF WANDS - he is optimistic, especially at the prospect of travel which he thinks about a lot. taehyung feels reassured and less uncertain about their career like that. enjoys making content for audiences abroad, looks forward to touring again, sees the new era as a gateway for it. the new direction is growth, anti-stagnation, and inspiration to him and brought tae to meet like-minded people. the card is all about expansion of positive energy and colored in bright yellow, it's a sunshine period in his life and he feels genuinely happy. no more being downtrodden. the era will propel him the most and hand him a lot of opportunities. taehyung currently makes a lot of plans and corresponds with others to work with. it refreshed and lifted his mood big time. feels physically strong as well, wands stand for bodily vigor.

⌜ jimin ⌟ QUEEN OF COINS (reverse) - believes it to be less practical. jimin feels like he can’t rely on himself/his skills as much. might even think it's not a responsible or very organized choice, reversed pentacles indicate that someone perceives the lack of common sense. jimin might find the music confusing and not come up with a way to get into it since he feels indecisive and exasperated. since the queen of coins is a stable caregiving figure, the reverse shows a neglect of some kind, jimin might perceive there's nobody looking out for him or there's a financial mismanagement that comes at his detriment. it could mean that he can’t bring himself to really care about the content and invest in it. the card also stands for not providing support in reverse, he might wonder how exactly to contribute and fit into the current order with efficiency.

⌜ namjoon ⌟ EIGHT OF SWORDS (reverse) - it's a sense of alleviation and rescue to him. the upright card represents someone who's trapped and cornered in a harrowing state of mind plagued with sorrows, while the reverse shows that someone got out of a hostile environment or a paralysis of some kind. since it’s swords, this is primarily a mental thing. he appreciates the positive tone of the music and how motivational the concept is. namjoon enjoys the adventure of the new era like taehyung, but it also comes with a taste of leaving fear and criticism behind. he feels less constrained and caged in one spot, this reversal points to the triumph over sad misfortunes and communication problems. there’s also a theme of finally seeing fruitful efforts and tearing down all barriers, queen’s song breakthrough comes to mind, he sees the comeback as such.

⌜ seokjin⌟ TWO OF CUPS (reverse) - jin feels distant from the new path, this reversal shows the separation of a loving union or the breaking apart of something that’s wholesome and in sync. he might feel a bittersweet goodbye in some way, it could be him thinking about the enlistment. you also see the two of cups in the context of being infatuated and involved, the reversal is tinted with having unequal interests and ignoring one another. the music fascinates him less and he doesn't feel like there have been enough compromises, and less love is coming his way. cooperating is hard for him, or connecting in some way. jin has less profound affection for how things developed and prefers to sort out his emotions by himself. the silver lining, the card signifies lust, jin does find the concept sexy and magnetic and does think it can polarize enough.

⌜ jungkook ⌟ THREE OF SWORDS (reverse) - to him it's like finally leaving behind a sense of rupture: he’s no longer feeling misunderstood. there's no more distress, heartbreak, or some kind of emotional deadlock, the card's reversed meaning centers around unravelling an absolute heartbreaking disillusionment. the imagery shows a figure in agony, endlessly grieving and hating themselves and the world, the upside down card would be the person rejoicing and recovering from their misery. jk is less withdrawn and unsettled, less tense, the new era is freeing his mind from painful thoughts. on the other hand, the card also contains the meaning of confusion and not getting an insight, he currently doesn’t know what truth to believe. but all in all, it stabilized his mood a lot, helping him move from rainfall to sunshine.

⌜ hoseok ⌟ SIX OF SWORDS (reverse) - this card stands for positive new conditions and an assisted journey forward, but flips to the opposite in reverse. hoseok's current mood is often pessimistic and longs for mentors to help him move on this way, or might feel like he's losing his ability to mentor others himself. there's tension, lack of exploration, he doesn't feel inspired by the music or concept. or most likely the idea of it since swords represent abstract thought and clashing opinions. he sees it as an unfavorable change because adapting is a tough thing to do in the situation, the reversed six of swords talks about not seeing the better times coming or hidden blessings. hobi will refuse assistance until he has it figured out by himself, but he’s not feeling the best about it in the first place and his stance is to sit it out as good as he can.

⌜yoongi ⌟ - NINE OF WANDS (reverse ) - the upright card speaks of mobilizing forces to fend off fear-inducing dangers, protection and being guarded, endurance, self-control, beating fatigue. upside down, the nine of wands can mean both becoming even more obstinate or actual debilitation and injury. in any case, yoongi is under immense stress and his discipline is on the backburner. this reversal represents the last man standing who is unable to push back. yoongi does not want to compromise, retreats, and there's a stalemate involved. a stalemate of health and power could be meant, wands are fire energy and personal might. the injury the card references is likely the shoulder, it’s still preoccupying and draining him, it’s not yet overcome. he feels like he could use more protection, energy, and support.

#bts tarot #bts #bangtan #bts tarot reading #bts butter #butter era #dynamite era #dynamite #tarot reading

107 notes · View notes

variousqueerthings · 3 years

Text

Johnny and ADHD

alright, I’ve wanted to write something about ADHD Johnny for awhile now.

Waaay back in February @deliciousbananavoidpurse made this post and I made some haphazard additions, but now, at last, I ramble!

This isn’t really an addition to that list so much as a... idk, seeing it from an almost fic-but-kind-of-meta point of view. Those points In Practise, with an additional young Johnny.

Johnny’s a kid. He and his mom have been living hand-to-mouth for as long as he remembers, in and out of schools, in and out of apartments and cars. Of course he’s going to be flighty, spaced-out, unfocused.

He’s an easy target – not very big (he doesn’t get a lot of good meals), dirty clothes, and… weird. He gets beaten up sometimes, but mostly he sticks as much to himself as he can and doesn’t go to school if he can help it. Laura saves up and gets him a walkman.

After that it’s like the world doesn’t exist to him at all.

She thinks that’s easier than trying to make him live in it. But he deserves better. They both do. So she makes a decision that changes everything…

Johnny’s not going hungry these days. In fact, he eats constantly, like he’s making up for lost time. His clothes are new and he gets anything he wants. He’s enrolled in school properly.

But Johnny himself doesn’t change much. He’s vibrating with an energy he can’t explain – normal for boys – he skips school, he goes off somewhere in his own mind, struggles with making friends, gets into fights he can’t win, and all day he listens to music. Still skinny, still flighty, still weird.

Tries new things that become all-encompassing for him and drops them one day to the next – normal for boys, all normal for boys – and then -

Johnny sees those boys: Tall, broad, leather jackets, rad bikes, shining, beautiful. He watches them through the window for hours, transfixed in a way only riding his bike and listening to music used to do.

He joins Cobra Kai.

And finally, like a dam breaking, he focuses. He focuses like he’s a machine. Like nothing else matters. He takes everything happening at home, every beating he ever took, every failing grade (he tries, but school never manages to matter – the other Cobras help, simply by being there and sometimes especially Bobby forces him to sit down and write a paper, but he’ll never be smart, that’s fine), and he puts them into his fist.

He trusts Kreese to tell him what to think, what to feel, what to do. Finally, finally, everything makes sense. It’s just him and his body and someone he trusts telling him what to do with it.

Nothing else matters.

There are other things that matter.

He’s getting his life in order so he can leave Sid’s and take his Mom with him. He’s going to be the right kind of boyfriend to Ali. He’ll do well enough in his final year to make up for the previous ones, and he’s got karate, and Kreese, who’s telling him he’s the champ.

Who he can trust.

But he gets into trouble, he drinks, his grades continue to slip, and suddenly (or is it gradually, he can’t tell with time sometimes) Ali is telling him he’s changed – angry, volatile, forgetful, (okay he was always forgetful, but it’s getting worse – is karate the only thing he cares about?), but it’s fine, he can fix that too. He just has to change everything that doesn’t work. If he can be that good at karate, it just means he’s not trying hard enough everywhere else. Just needs to try harder.

Just. Easy. He has a plan. He has a hundred plans.

It all blows up in his face and suddenly he’s faced with the truth: that there really is nothing he’s good for. Karate? What’s that ever gotten him? What else has he got to show for it?

He’s still just the same kid he was – alright, he’s bigger, babes will stop and check him out, he’s learned how to charm people if he has to, but those are just scripts and they don’t work for long if he doesn’t have anything else to back them up and they bore him - they bore him in ways he thinks have gotta be different to what everyone else means when they say they’re bored.

He doesn’t have a plan. He has a hundred plans. He doesn’t have anyone to tell him what to do. He doesn’t know what to do. He knows what to do.

He drinks more. What does it matter, he’s young, life’s short, there’s nothing he can learn now (and really, if you know a couple of things you can scrape by – when they turn off the lights he knows he forgot to pay the bills, when he gets arrested he knows he fucked up and let his emotions get away with him), and before he knows it it’s 2002.

His mom dies. Robby is born. Someone smarter than him could figure out some kind of poetic meaning behind that, but he’s not smart, so he just lets the moments pass him by like everything else has passed him by.

He’s getting by with what he knows. The world outside is like a blur. He’s got what he’s always had: music, a car, his looks. He’s doing okay for someone in his mid-thirties who doesn’t know how to boil spaghetti and drinks first thing in the morning.

Probably all the fighting. He kept it up, informally. Maybe because it’s too deep in his bones for him to let go of, even if it just reminds him over and over that he couldn’t take it. That he can’t take it.

He fights whenever it all gets to be too much and even the drinking doesn’t work. Sometimes he punches walls to fight himself. It’s like a sharp feeling that he can’t ignore that can only be silenced with fighting. The off-button.

2017 (again, the past is a blur. 2017? what happened to thirty-five? What happened to being young? Someone who’s young is allowed to be like this, but he’s…)

He never owned a computer. He never learned new words or anything else that wasn’t immediately important. He makes a handshake deal, because his credit is shit, but also because he never figured out how contracts really work. He still struggles with bills (you can leave anything to the last minute and beyond and things can still turn out okay), struggles with communication. His old scripts don’t work any more and he can’t learn new ones. He’s forgotten enough promises he made to watch Robby’s matches or drive him to school – even his birthday sometimes, even when he writes it down and forgets where he wrote it down - that Robby wants nothing more to do with him. Forgets groceries.

He’ll do or say something and people will look at him like he’s stupid and he doesn’t know why. He refuses to ask, because he just wants the looks to go away. He knows he’s stupid. He knows he can’t figure things out. He knows, okay? Shut up.

He’s not an alcoholic. He just drinks to wake up. To forget. To calm down (that electricity that existed in his body as a kid never went away, even though he’s so so tired. The machine inside of him that won’t shut off without a fight, won’t let him stop moving). To sleep. To drink. To do something.

He sees Miguel and has a hundred new plans. He sees the future like it’s right there and a million miles away. He was never good at implementing long-term plans. He thinks maybe karate can save him, just like it did when he was a kid.

There’s something wrong with his brain. Has been all his life. That’s not how he was told, he was given a bunch of tests and gently informed – undiagnosed it can lead to some of the problems you’ve had, it’s normal, it’s okay – like he’s dying of cancer. But that’s the gist of it. He didn’t fuck up because he didn’t try hard enough, he was always going to fuck up. That doesn’t make him feel better.

It means quitting the alcohol is gonna fail. It means he really is stupid. It means he could’ve never been the kid his mom needed. It means he was easy for Kreese to manipulate. It means Robby could be fucked up too and he’s failed him again. It means he’s not worth the time and pain that people invest in him, like his mom, Ali, Shannon, Robby, Bobby, Miguel, Carmen, Daniel -

“Hey.”

It means he’s got Emotional Dysregulation. Translated: he’s the kind of man who has to work extra hard not to cry (explains why he was such a pussy as a kid. Also explains all the pain in his chest and throat right before roughly... 70% of his most recent fights). And fuck, he just failed.

“What?” Anger is better. It’s also a dysregulation apparently, but it’s better than being weak.

“It’s okay,” says Daniel, and of course he’d think that – he’s never seen a nameable problem he didn’t wanna fix, but didn’t you hear LaRusso, you can’t fix this. Never could.

“It’s not about fixing,” answers Daniel. “It’s about understanding. It’s about knowing who you are. If you know who you are, you can make a choice.”

“What kinda choice do I have?”

Daniel shrugs. “You chose to take in Miguel. You chose not to fight me, more times than I chose to fight you in the last couple of years. You chose that you wanted to know who you were. And you chose to try being sober. Those are all good decisions in my book. Anything else… we can figure things out from here. Trust me.”

He places a hand on the back of Johnny’s neck, grounding him. Daniel has that power. The power to make everything okay for a second.

Johnny thinks: Please tell me what to do. I was always okay once you gave me something to do. Like karate. Figuring things out is… too abstract. Eventually though, he knows, if he’s patient, Daniel will tell him what to do next.

He just has to trust him.

9. (Extra: things Johnny does, because of the brain he has)

Johnny trusts easily, despite it all. He’s honest (and sometimes too literal). He’s passionate. He’s driven. He’s loving. He feels, so so much. He’s protective and he’s loyal. He tries his hardest, even when everything – including his own brain – refuses to help. He believes in second chances for others (and he’s beginning to believe in it for himself). He’s good with kids when he lets himself be. He’s learning to be gentle with himself and others. He’s learning that bravery takes many shapes. He’s learning that he can learn, and he’s learning what he needs for that to happen. He’s a good mentor. He’s learning to be a better friend. He’s kind. He’s honourable. He’s trying to rectify his own mistakes, and he’s trying not to let the mistakes of others continue to impact his life. He’s moving forwards.

#johnny lawrence #ck #cobra kai #the karate kid #nd johnny #cobra kai meta #my writing #oh hai i love johnny lawrence a lot...

69 notes · View notes

ofcloudsandstars · 3 years

Text

April Magical Forecast

Welcome to April! This month seems to bring many days full of exciting transits, high energy aspects and a few aspects that really want us to heal and rethink how we exert our energy or seek control/submit to control and how to live more in balance and relinquish control on things that may not be so worth it. A lot of days have little to no transits just encouraging us to charge ahead, however on the days with notable transits we are tasked to heal and repair. Starting from the previous full moon in Libra which asked us to look at our relationships to others or our values and heal, we are lead into a new moon in Aries which wants us to start off the first lunar cycle of the zodiac year with self healing and reflection which will lead up to a super full moon at the end of the month which is has themes on power and restriction and our own source of empowerment. If you see the solar celebrations as a greater parallel to the lunar cycles, Spring Equinox and Aries season is similar to the first quarter moon phase where it is all about examining obstacles, planning strategies and facing challenges with courage. The April side of Aries season is about us finding strategy through healing and self examination where as Taurus season is when we make a solid commitment and charge ahead with our plans.

Week 1

1 - ☾♐ Moon enters Sagittarius

The first day of April starts off with the moon entering Sagittarius! There are no other notable transits today. When the moon is in Sagittarius we are feeling more optimistic and light hearted. This transit is good for taking time to enjoy yourself, socialize, working on expanding projects, channeling luck and prosperity and giving blessings.

2 - ☾♐ Disseminating Moon | Moon trine Sun Mercury in Pisces sextiles Pluto in Capricorn

Today may feel very reflective with the Disseminating moon trining the Sun in Aries and Mercury sextiling Pluto. The Disseminating moon already creates a theme of reflection of our progress during this lunar cycle. The Mercury x Pluto sextile adds depth and intensity to our thinking and conversations allowing our minds to penetrate deeper in our minds and others secrets. It's a good time for studying and research, uncovering the truth and shadow work as we may be able to understand the deeper hidden nature of ours and others motives clearer.

3 - ☾♑ Moon enters Capricorn

Today the moon enters Capricorn. There are no other notable transits so it will feel like a calmer day energetically. When the moon is in Capricorn it's a great time to get organized, tackle our responsibilities and to do lists, practice ancestral magic, mineral based magic (crystals, earth and metals), strengthening wards and boundaries.

_____________________

Week2

4 - ☾♑ Last Quarter Moon in Capricorn Mercury enters Aries

Mercury joins the Sun and Venus in Aries today bringing our mental focus to this fiery excitable energy. Our minds may be more focused on creating plans for quick action other than mulling things over. Communication becomes more candid and new ideas are more rampant. Though its an excitable time for new creations and charging forward, this placement is not too concerned with details and can make us dismissive to the fine lines of things which can end up in a lot of miscommunication and disharmony. As long as we are self aware we will have the mental drive to power through! This will be harmonious with the Last Quarter Moon's energy if we have any projects or goals this cycle to wrap up. We will reflect on our current obstacles with new insight and come up with new ideas to bring them to completion. Though Last Quarter Moon is great for reflection and meditation, with Mercury in Aries we may experience more excitable monkey mindedness than usual making meditation more challenging. Exercising reflection could come easier if we practice stream-of-conscious writing instead.

5 - ☾♒ Moon enters Aquarius

There are no notable transits today other than the Moon entering Aquarius. When the moon is in Aquarius it's a good time to try new things, expand our perspective, bring positive change our way, work with technology and experiment with storm and techno magic.

6 - ☾♒ Balsamic Moon | Moon Sextile Sun Venus in Aries trines Mars in Gemini

It will be an excitable day for socializing and dating with Venus trining Mars! This beneficial aspect brings balance to the loving harmonious sides of relationships to excitable physical interactions making it a great day for adventures with friends or exploring our sexuality with lovers. You can go after your desires, opportunities or even people you admire without coming on too strong as this energy brings balance to these areas. This energy is also fantastic for creative projects and our creativity will be stimulated. As the moon is waning, usually the Balsamic phase is great for clearing, cleansing and wrapping up projects before the new moon, however you can channel this energy towards your projects or adding some redecoration or beautiful pieces to your space. Creating something of beauty will give you much enjoyment and satisfaction.

There are some restrictions being lifted here (London) so it could be a good day to hang out in the park and catch up with a friend, however if you are in a safe environment where lockdown is over then it's a great day to catch up with people and have fun or meet a lover! (Attracting a new lover isn't a good time as the moon is waning but its ok for hookups).

7 - ☾♓ Moon enters Pisces

There are no notable transits today other than the Moon entering Pisces. However this energy is great to continue whatever you have been working on the previous day since the moon in Pisces can help elevate our creativity. When the moon is in Pisces it's a good time to be creative, artistic, work on art and water based magic, divining and dream oracling.

8 - ☾♓

There are no notable transits today other than the moon continuing it's transit in Pisces.

9 - ☾♓ Mercury conjunct Chiron in Aries Mars in Gemini squares Neptune in Pisces

Healing is key (literally ⚷) today as Mercury conjuncts Chiron in Aries. It will be a bit of a challenging day with Mars squaring Neptune to exacerbate things, however if we keep our distance, boundaries and practice self awareness, we should be fine. Chiron is a planet of healing but it shows us what needs to be healed through pain. If we have been overexerting ourselves or ignoring a health condition it can become center in our minds today. If we feel unconfident we can find ourselves stammering in our speech, not communicating clearly, feeling dumb or put down. However this planet has an alchemical power where it can take these areas that need help and show us where we can overcome them and even gain new abilities. If you take the time to do some shadow work and heal this conjunction can help us to learn how to speak freely and express ourselves. It wants to help us to own who we are and build our self esteem. It's ok to make mistakes and not everyone is meant to understand us, but don't let that shut you down. As you continue to express yourself you will be heard. An even higher manifestation of this conjunction is helping others to overcome their own issues with connection and communication. You can even find healing power in words. A great activity for this day would be to journal your thoughts. The Mars and Neptune square can stir up occasions for miscommunication and a fight from no where. This is a transit you would want to do energetic sheilding for and be aware of whos in your space. Especially with negative Neptune transit's it's a good time to protect your information and identity. This square can potentially bring suspicion, deceit, low energy, lies and scandal. Guilt is also possible along with self defeat. With this Chiron and Mercury conjunction this energy can weigh us down completely making us feel helpless. Yet through the low self esteem, paranoia and jealousy you can work through it and heal. Shadow work can help us to reveal any negative emotions we may be harboring and maybe scheduling an appointment with your therapist or someone trustworthy who has the energy to receive you could help. Do not over exert yourself today, Mars square Neptune can also bring us low immune defenses and illness (especially with the Chiron aspect). It's a good day to take it easy, practice self reflection, have boundaries and reach out if needed.

10 - ☾♈ Mercury in Aries sextiles Saturn in Aquarius Venus in Aries sextiles Jupiter in Aquarius Moon enters Aries

Today has two helpful sextiles which can make the day feel productive. With Mercury sextiling Saturn we will feel more organized and with Venus sextiling Jupiter we will be feeling more lucky and abundant than usual. Together we can find it easy to resolve issues with others, mentally focus on difficult tasks and learn hard material. It's a great day to review your finances or invest. We will have a lot of luck in the areas of money and abundance. With the moon in Aries it will feel like an excitable day. It's a great day to take advantage of by completing tasks and socializing.

_____________________

Week3

11 - ☾♈

There are no other notable transits today as the moon tours it's transit through Aries. When the moon is in Aries it's a good time for confronting any challenges, candle magic and other fire based magic. It's also a good day for clearing away anything before the New Moon starts a new lunar cycle tomorrow.

12 - ☾♈ New Moon in Aries Venus in Aries squares Pluto in Capricorn

It's a new lunar cycle! The new moon in Aries sets off a new cycle where we are to focus ourselves and our challenges that we must overcome. This new moon is highlighted by a Venus and Pluto square which can be illuminating as it can show where we may feel the need to control others or where we can be controlled or manipulated by people in relationships. If you feel you are the manipulator this energy is helping you to look within yourself and see where there could be fear stemming from that is causing you to feel that you need a controlling grip over others. The tension is illuminating a condition within yourself rather than the partner involved. It could highlight where you may feel possessive due to having a fear of your own self worth or loneliness. Alternatively if you are the one being manipulated this square can show you how to empower yourself and rise above the situation. This Aries lunar cycle is all about confronting our challenges so this energy will help set the tone for the lunar month ahead.

Some good rituals on this day would be to meditate and channel in the frequency of Mars, write down your challenges that you'd like to overcome, candle magic to channel in helpful energy or burning away representations of obstacles in your path. It's also a great day for tarot and other forms of divination for advice and writing down your intentions or creating a vision board for the cycle ahead.

13 - ☾♉ Moon enters Taurus

The moon enters Taurus today. There are no other notable transits today. When the moon is in Taurus it's a good day for earth based magic, gardening, kitchen magic and food spells. It's also a great day for rest and self care.

14 - ☾♉ Venus enters Taurus Sun in Aries sextiles Mars in Gemini

Today will feel bright and exciting with the Sun in a sextile with Mars and Venus entering Taurus. Venus is at home in the sign of Taurus. The energy here is very sensual, pleasure seeking, tangible yet possessive. This dreamy energy helps to ground us within the season of Spring and seek out everything sensually pleasing. Physical touch is the heightened love language of this cycle and we will feel more drawn to things of high quality or sensually pleasureful. With the Sun and Mars sextile we will feel a positive fiery push to confront our obstacles, gain a boost of courage and tackle anything that we need to get done. This is a beneficial boost to use to your advantage in any areas you feel needs extra energy to tackle. If you currently don't have any idea of how to channel it well, then reflect back on your Aries new moon intentions. Use this energy wisely!

15 - ☾♊ Sun in Aries sextiles Jupiter in Aquarius Moon enters Gemini

It's another day of great energy with the Sun in a positive sextile with lucky Jupiter. This transit brings optimism, good luck and happiness. There are a lot of opportunities for positive circumstances to appear in your favor and you will realize that positive thinking will attract good fortune. This energy is great for using attraction magic for good positive opportunities or wealth and abundance. This transit also favors travel or planning trips and socializing. Even if you are unable to use this energy in action to align yourself with abundance, you can channel it through your magic with a candle spell to attract what you need.

16 - ☾♊ Sun in Aries squares Pluto in Capricorn

It's the bi-annual return of one of the most unpleasant transits (it's worse in Aries season than Libra though). When the Sun squares Pluto it increases the need to be in control but leads to ego conflicts with other powerful people or authority figures. Butting heads can lead to huge blow out fights or destructive behavior. Such challenges can force us to make a major change or pigeon hole us in a corner. However like all challenging aspects this transit wants to help us to heal. When we are aware of the reasons why we need control we can make more logical decisions. We may either need to leave the environment, find a way to strengthen boundaries or find out that it could be related to triggering memories we need to let go. Aside from what you could be going through emotionally today, it's a good day for energy sheilding and keeping good boundaries from others you may have to be around.

17 - ☾♊ Waxing Crescent | Sun Sextile Moon Mars in Gemini trines Jupiter in Aquarius Mercury in Aries sextiles both Jupiter in Aquarius and Mars in Gemini

It's all about confronting your challenges today!! There are a bundle of fiery transits wanting you to push yourself to overcome anything in your way! With the Sun sextile the moon it's a great day to reflect on your new moon in Aries intentions and take action on them. The waxing crescent is a time for experimentation and first tries so don't worry about the details, just give it your all. Mars is in a super positive trine with Jupiter which gives us luck wherever we apply our courage. If you go after whatever you want today with full confidence you can get it. Lastly Mercury is in a sextile with both Jupiter and Mars. This energy will give us the motivational push to be driven to succeed and apply our mental abilities and planning. With mercury sextiling Jupiter it can make us plan more than we can deal with, however if this energy is used as a boost of optimism we can conquer anything today!

It's a super lucky day, the only magic I could suggest doing is positive glamour spells and attraction magic, yet it's a day best for taking action and going after what you need.

_____________________

Week 4

18 - ☾♋ Moon enters Cancer

There are no other notible transits today other than the moon entering Cancer. When the moon is in Cancer it's a good day for home based magic (bath magic, gardening, kitchen magic etc), cleansing your space, self nurturing, shadow work and emotional healing and water based magic.

19 - ☾♋ Sun enters Taurus Mercury enters Taurus Sun conjunct Mercury in Taurus

We made it!! We enter the middle of Spring as the Sun enters Taurus today! It's time for peace, for sensuality, for sitting under a blooming tree in some flowy dress eating sweets, for relaxing and less stress as Aries season comes to an end. Mercury follows the Sun into Taurus today and the two will be in conjunct. We will feel more perceptive of our mental state during this transit and able to retain more information. It's a good transit for learning, focusing and paying attention to details. When mercury is in Taurus our minds and projects come to a slower pace. However this cycle can help us to create a strong and decisive focus on one project or goal so we can see it to it's completion. We are less scattered, however we are also focused on the sensual and it's a good time to mind our finances.

20 - ☾♌ First Quarter Moon in Leo

It's time for reflection and strategizing with the first quarter moon. It's good to think back on our intentions set during the New Moon in Aries and it's themes such as our need for control or if others have been controlling us. The waxing crescent was about us confronting our challenges and taking action towards our obstacles. However if we've met any set backs or still feel restricted, that will be felt during this first quarter moon which asks us to go back to the drawing board and revise and strategize before moving forward. What is working and what isn't working in your current journey? This moon may bring out the drama and the power struggles as it shines in Leo. It can also help us to focus on ourselves in this journey, our creations and our self esteem. Where can we boost ourselves up in order to move forward? Some good activities for this moon is creating positive affirmations, tarot to divine advice and do barrier breaking magic to help undo obstacles in our way.

21 - ☾♌

There are no other notable transits today other than the moon in Leo. When the moon is in Leo it is great to practice self love magic, creativity and self expression as well as any light, solar and fire based magic.

22 - ☾♍ Waxing Gibbous | Sun Trines Moon Moon enters Virgo

When the Sun trines the moon it's a great time to take action as it's a lucky transit. It's very harmonious energy yet when used wisely it can help us to excel forward. Look back to your strategies and the themes of the First Quarter Moon in Leo. What do you need to work on and reaccess? Especially with the moon now in problem solving Virgo it's a good time to get organized and get tasks done.

23 - ☾♍ Mars enters Cancer Venus conjunct Uranus in Taurus

An energetic shift occurs today as Mars enters Cancer, changing our general feelings of motivation for the next two months. Mars is not it's most productive in Cancer. We may feel more passionate about our desires however our goals and plans are at the mercy of our mood swings. It's all depending on if we feel like doing it and if we aren't in the mood then it simply ain't getting done. Aggression is more defensive than offensive and we go about things whether its our goals or arguments in a passive way. Mars in Cancer is a great transit to protect what we love and uplift our loved ones. It's good energy to put towards your friends and community instead of focusing on individual goals. Today is colored by Venus and Uranus aligning in the sky bringing in an exciting yet potentially chaotic day of surprises in the areas of love, finances and our values. This can mean a whole array of possibilities depending on our paths. It can mean meeting a new partner (whether that be a friend or lover- this transit can bring new exciting encounters but they may not last long. Just someone to come in and spice up your day), having unexpected changes in our finance, either earning or losing money, changing up something in our relationship (especially if it feels stagnant there can be an urge to spice things up or break free), or even a sudden gift or new passion. Be wary with the elements of finance cause this transit can create impulsive shopping. Just remember to spend within your budget.

24 - ☾♎ Mercury conjunct Uranus in Taurus Moon enters Libra

There is great mental energy in the air today as Mercury conjuncts Uranus in Taurus. This union stimulates our thinking and adds extra excitement to our daily routines, ideas and creativity. We are more able to create something original or come up with great new ideas. This transit can also lead to flashes of insights and breakthroughs. It's a really good day to practice meditation and channel higher cosmic energy for new insight and to help expand our perspective. If you do feel like you are looking for the 'answers' to something or need a new perspective this is a good day to tap into Uranus's energy and meditate using binural beats that focuses on our crown's energy pool. It's a great time for experimentation but not so great for making plans. Unexpected news can arrive today but make sure to not jump into any conclusions yet.

_____________________

Week 5

25 - ☾♎ Mercury conjunct Venus in Taurus Venus and Mercury in Taurus squares Saturn in Aquarius

There is energy today that is pushing us to make commitments to what we think is worth it. This energy is helping us to align ourselves with our true needs before we enter the full moon phase. With Mercury and Venus conjunct we will be able to easily express what we love and have everything and everyone that we love on our minds. This can make us more aware of our values and passions. During this transit we can make good negotiations and peaceful settlements with the energies combined and improved our troubled relationships. Both planets would be squaring Saturn in Aquarius forcing us to reflect on the foundations of our relationships and our energies spent towards our passions. If we haven't been giving enough energy towards it then we can feel more somber than usual but it's just a sign that we need to prioritize our time better. If things are going well this energy will push us to want to make amends to anything and put extra work towards the areas that Venus rule. The lunar energy is slightly inconjunct so there can be challenges and disharmony arising. These could be apart of the lessons shaking our foundations and showing us where we need to apply our focus. It is not the best time for any manifestation or attraction magic yet but just to amend anything that needs mending.

26 - ☾♏ Moon enters Scorpio

The moon is not yet in it's full moon phase but we will feel it nearly peaked and it will feel more intense than usual as it will be closer to Earth (making it a Super Full Moon once it peaks). There are no notable transits today other than the moon entering Scorpio. When the moon is in Scorpio it’s a good day for shadow work, energy work, spirit work and hedge witchcraft.

27 - ☾♏ Super Full Moon Pluto enters retrograde -until Oct 6th

We are nearly at the end of the month and the peak of the Lunar cycle with the Full Moon in Scorpio. What this full moon signifies in Taurus season is a chance for us to dive deep into our feelings and uncover truths. This moon will feel more intense than usual and appear much larger in the sky since it is a Super Full Moon. It will be closer in it's elliptical orbit to Earth. With the Scorpio full moon we are less interested in the physical material world and more about the emotional and spiritual as this moon seeks for us to confront any challenges bothering us on a deep level in our lives and finding ways to banish or transform them. This coincides with Pluto's retrograde that wants us to dive deep, connect with ourselves on a soul level, confront any fears that disempowers us and find our source of empowerment again. Pluto retrograde can cause us to surrender our grip of power on things that may no longer serve us or if someone else is manipulating or stifling us it's time for us to leave the situation. It is a time for elimination and our controlling habits, compulsions, addictions and possessiveness will be subject to fated events and or themes that will force us to change these behaviors. Pluto will retrograde until early October. We may see shifts in power happen globally and even shifts in currency (the Capricorn nature of it). On a macrocosmic level there can be movements to bring change to manipulative and oppressive systems. On a microcosmic level we will be asked to do this changes from within.

Some great activities on this full moon will be for banishment, deep shadow work especially in areas regarding your resources, self worth and abundance and attraction magic for what you need to thrive (just make sure its nothing that feeds the ego because with the retrograding Pluto energy that will just come with a karmic lesson you don't want).

28 - ☾♐ Moon enters Sagittarius

There are no notable transits today other than the moon entering Sagittarius. When the moon is in Sagittarius we will feel more optimistic than usual and very sociable. When the moon is in Sagittarius it’s a good day for abundance magic and luck spells.

29 - ☾♐

There are no notable transits today either other than the moon wrapping up it's transit in Sagittarius.

30 - ☾♑ Sun conjunct Uranus in Taurus Mercury in Taurus sextiles Neptune in Pisces Moon enters Capricorn Witches Night

Today will feel Exciting! Explosive! Full of Surprises!! There is high energy in the air today thanks to the Sun and Uranus aligned in the sky. This brings sudden surprises, eccentric encounters, unexpected change, freedom and rebellion. We will feel a need to break free from routine and spice up our lives. Just be wary to not rebel or cause chaos for the sake of it. Remaining flexible and open minded can certainly increase the chance of more thrilling experiences and opportunities for us to expand our sense of perception and greater awareness. To add to this energy Mercury will sextile Neptune making it a very magical and creative day. We will feel the mental push to be more artistically expressive, creative and seek escapism. This energy has a lot of potential for us to create something new and original or find greater insight while we could be astral traveling, dreaming or creating. It's a great day for art, healthy escapism through art and meditating.

Tonight is also the eve of High Spring or Beltane. In some countries and communities this evening is known as Witches Night. This is a sabbat celebrated when witches gather at the highest point (like a hill or mountain) and dance around a bonfire to welcome the lighter, warmer and longer days arriving while banishing the winter spirits and anything we no longer want to carry with us. Witches night actually has Christian origins (actually to banish witches and other evils using fire lol) yet it's become popular to celebrate in witch, pagan and occult circles and often is a fiery celebration to honor the Eve of Beltane as it has similar themes of welcoming the warmer half of the year. (Plus many celebrate Beltane using fire as well.) It would be a good evening to have a bonfire if you have access to a fire pit and celebrate the warmer months ahead!

#april #astrology #transits #forecast #witchcraft #magic

118 notes · View notes

imaginesfora3 · 3 years

Text

Doorstep [Sakuma Sakuya/Reader] [NSFW]

(Also posted here on Ao3! Please enjoy my ramblings)

You’re surprised to see Sakuya on your doorstep.

Your boyfriend had been quite busy lately, juggling a part-time job as well as spending all his nights rehearsing with his troupe. If he had the energy left he’d text you a goodnight and an apology, to which you always responded that you understood perfectly well why you couldn’t see him. It left you feeling a little empty inside that it had been so long since you’d even gotten to lay eyes on him in person but there was nothing to be done about that, there was no way you were going to say that over text and make him feel bad for things outside of his control. You had been wary about not triggering any potential abandonment issues since you knew of his past, not wanting him to think you’ll up and leave him if he doesn’t bend to your will.

You were proud of him for finding a place for himself in the world, and you wanted him to retain that happiness while also having a little safe haven with you.

You were in college yourself so it’s not as though you weren’t busy, you had paper upon paper to finish, and the time you had left was good to recover what was left of your sanity. Would Sakuya being there make you feel better? Absolutely! But again, you didn’t want to push that pressure on him when he was already busy. Sakuya deserved someone who wasn’t selfish, he deserved someone who would only encourage him to keep living his life to the fullest and who would support him, stand by him, no matter what. You wanted to be that person because you loved him that much, Sakuya had been the only man to ever make you feel like you were walking on clouds, you couldn’t diminish how important he was in your life.

That’s why you just don’t get how this phone call went so sour when you were doing nothing but speaking the truth.

“Do you miss me?”

“Sakuya…” Ooh, that was a direct hit, it hurt to hear the way his voice cracked when he asked that. He couldn’t possibly imagine how badly you missed him, how much you just wanted to see him again, but for some reason those words won’t come out. You don’t want to pour your heart out to him over the phone, again worried that you would just be guilting the poor boy. You just don’t realize how unwanted you’re truly making him feel.

“You don’t miss me?”

“Of course I miss you! It’s just… It’s just okay that you’re busy, is all. We’ll see each other again. Got the rest of our lives, yeah?”

It didn’t sit right with Sakuya.

It’s not like he wanted someone to obsessively control or demand his time but to have you acting as though you didn’t care… It made his heart feel heavy in his chest. The odd amount of indifference made him feel on edge, like you weren’t being honest with him, but about what? Did you really not want to continue this relationship but you didn’t know how to break up with him? Sakuya just didn’t get it. He didn’t know how to confide his thoughts in his friends without seeming like a fool, this was his first real relationship after all and he wasn’t quite in the mood to hear that there were other fish in the sea.

“Sorry, I’m really tired tonight… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to rehearse?”

“I was going to come over for a bit before we started, is that… not okay?” Sakuya is gnawing on his bottom lip nervously, his heart sinking further, wondering what you might say next. The few seconds of silence that followed after made his heart ache, made him want to sob into his pillow, but he bit back those overwhelming emotions since he didn’t want to attract Masumi’s attention.

“It’s okay, Sakuya! I look forward to it! So just get some rest and I’ll see you then, okay?”

You’re cursing yourself after hanging up, wondering why you couldn’t just say what you wanted to. You wanted to say that you loved him, that you missed his cute face, that you couldn’t wait to shower him with kisses. You wanted to tell him he’d be lucky if he ever left your house again because you were willing to take him hostage for a day or two if it meant getting him all to yourself. So selfish of you to think like that, you couldn’t help but scold yourself over it, laying down and hoping these weird feelings disappear once you finally see your boyfriend again.

They don’t.

Sakuya doesn’t greet you with his normal cheery smile or a hug and you don’t move in, sensing his odd mood immediately. You invited him in and watched as he went right to sitting down on the couch, hesitantly closing the door; you might’ve contemplated for at least a solid two seconds about running out so you didn’t have to deal with the heavy conversation that was sure to follow.

“You don’t have to hide things from me.” Sakuya said with a pout on his face, the little frown he gives after looking out of place. “I want you to… trust in me. If you don’t care about me the same way…”

“I do trust you it’s just…” Sakuya is frozen, face growing pale as he realized you completely ignored his second statement. Did that mean…?

“You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me! We love each other, right? So, if we love each other, we can make it through anything!” He must’ve been reading the more romantic plays lately to spout out such an ideal without blinking an eye but it was so endearingly him, to the point where you couldn’t stop yourself from holding Sakuya’s face in your hands. Tears were beginning to gather in the corner of his eyes, likely from frustration, and you began to realize that all you had done to ‘protect’ Sakuya had only put up a wall between you.

“I do. I do love you, very much. You know that, right?”

“I don’t know how you feel!” Sakuya cried out, “You won’t tell me!”

Another direct shot but probably a well-deserved one. You hated seeing the pain you were putting him through, wondering if maybe breaking up would be the best. You clearly weren’t adept at relationships either if you managed to let things get this bad, to the point your boyfriend was in tears in front of you

“I remember the first time I ever saw you on stage… It was before the company became an actual company again. And you weren’t very good…” You swiped away a stray tear with your thumb as Sakuya nodded, “But I was invested ‘cause I thought you were so damn cute. I’m really glad that you got a chance to really act and that you’ve grown as much as you have. Getting to see you up on stage with the others makes me so happy because I know how happy you are up there.”

“…I’m happy with you, too.” His voice is soft, almost too quiet for you to hear but you’ve leaned in close at this point, your body naturally drawn towards him. “I like being able to see you in the crowd when I’m on stage. I know if I look at you too long I’ll forget my lines but just that glance is enough to make me feel confident! I want you to feel that way about me.”

“I do feel that way about you… Ugh.” You leaned forward, forehead resting against his as his big, puppy dog eyes looked into yours. “It’s not you doing anything wrong, Saku, it’s me. I just don’t want to bring you down…”

“I’m stronger than you give me credit for, you know?” Sakuya is pouting again, “I know you met me when I first joined the company but so much has changed since then. We’ve both changed since then. I just want us to grow together and not apart; I promise that I can help! Or at least support you!”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so stupid, Sakuya. Can you forgive me?”

“I love you.” Sakuya sounded breathless, the look in his eyes changing within seconds; it was something a little different now, a look you hadn’t known your boyfriend was capable of making before you first had sex.

His lips pressed hard against yours, practically knocking you back on the couch with the intensity. You heard him mumble out some type of apology but you’re too lost in his touch to care, your entire body screaming that the emotional stress had to be worked out somehow. That whole kidnapping plan might become a reality if he kept this up, how were you ever supposed to give him up after this? You needed him here to heal your heart and you had to make sure all the damage that had been done closed up on him as well, arms wrapping around his neck to keep him plastered against you.

“Bedroom?”

“Right here, please.”

Still so polite even while having a raging hard-on after a fight, the tears completely dried from his eyes now as he gave you a look of pure lust. The mood had switched so quickly once the air had been cleared and you were grateful for that, grateful for a chance to get rid of these sad feelings and replace them with a sensation that would make you both feel better. You’re both desperately stripping clothes but you’re faster, getting the jump on him as he’s just taken his pants off. You’re thankful he wore boxers for easy access because you can’t wait another moment for him to be inside you, straddling his lap while his hands rose to touch your hips.

“You’re so beautiful.” Sakuya smiled up at you, looking as if he was meeting a Goddess for the very first time. “I love you.”

“I love you even more.”

You both let out a gasp as he slid inside you, his head thrown back, revealing his throat to you in an act of submission. You’re pleased that he’s making your job easier for you as you leaned in to pepper all the kisses you could over it, giggling as he bucked his hips up in desperate need for friction. It had been so long since you had touched yourself let alone had sex, there was no doubt that Sakuya was in the same boat. You remembered the wide-eyed look he gave you after you asked if he even masturbated since he had to share a room, basking in the way your heart fluttered at how cute a totally red-faced Sakuya looked.

He was still noisy, just how you liked him, moaning at each movement and kiss you gave him. His head was only full of thoughts of you, just like they had been the past week. But these ones were more positive, full of happier memories, full of a hope for the future of your relationship. He could feel how much you loved him each time he thrust into you, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered sweet nothings into them. He had been afraid that he’d mess up the first time you ever had sex and you had promised to keep him calm, giving him quiet encouragement while taking the lead. He discovered that, while he did want to make you feel good, he liked it better when you took the lead and allowed him to follow. He liked hearing your voice directly in his ear, he liked hearing you whimper his name and tell him how perfect he was at making you feel good.

“Aah- I don’t think I can last much longer…!” Sakuya is starting to sweat but is still making noble attempts to keep a steady rhythm, his arms wrapping around your middle to bring you close to him. “Can we come together? I want to-”

“Mmm, yeah we can, I’m really close…” You reached down to touch yourself to help you along but Sakuya beat you to it, looking up at you with half-lidded eyes and another smile; you couldn’t resist him any longer, leaning in to lock lips with him again as you both come. You feel the desperate twitching of his hips, the way his fingers are digging into the soft flesh of your hips but never enough to so much as leave a mark. He was always gentle with you even within the throes of passion and you truly loved that your body was such a naturally kind, caring soul.

“I love you.”

Again, those three little words are exchanged.

Again, you return them, meaning them now more than ever.

You’re no longer surprised to see Sakuya on your doorstep because you’ve come to one simple realization.

You are his home.

#Sakuma Sakuya #Sakuya Sakuma #A3!#act! addict! actors!#a3 act addict actors #a3 x reader #a3 imagines #a3 scenario #Sakuma Sakuya x Reader #Sakuya Sakuma x Reader #Scenario #Smut

79 notes · View notes

pickacardreading · 3 years

Text

HOW DO I ENHANCE MY COURAGE AND WILL TO ACHIEVE THE GOAL THAT I WANT?

Choose the pile that sparks a memory for you. It has your answers

1. GARDEN

The way for you to increase your courage and willingness to achieve your dream is that you have to first really make plans to figure out and decide what dream that you really want to achieve. Here there are many dreams that are available that people want to chase or they already obtained, but for you, you have to chase the dream that really evokes your strongest desire. The way to discover the dream that you want the most is to observe people around you or people who work in the field that you want to see what they already achieve and see if you also want to achieve the same thing or more. For example if you are a college student right now and you see many of your classmates have joined organizations or competitions, you have to observe from them what kind of organization or competition that they have joined or achieved from that and see if you also want to do the same as them or even more. For example, after you observe them, you decide that you want to join the competition, especially MUN, because you see that MUN is great for you and your ambitious side is really evoked by that. That's how you decide what goal that you want to go for. In order to do that, you have to go for some time of contemplation. If before you seek the answer from outside, now you seek the answer from insides. Are you ready to join that for example MUN? Do you have what it takes from you to join that? Are you prepared for the consequences that you have to endure by joining the MUN? The amount of time for yourself and having fun with friends that you are going to lose because you will be intensively prepared for the competition? It's time for deep reflection because to increase your willingness, you have to make sure too with your inner self if you are ready to take what it takes for you to go after your dream or goal. Because the goal or dream that you want to chase may have a long term period and it's so easy for you to lose motivation in the middle of achieving those dreams if you haven't prepared yourself to achieve that from outsides and insides. Which means you have to make sure both physically and mentally. Since you also may haven't really been familiar with this, it'll take an extra time for you to do the efforts to achieve your dreams and it's very important for you to keep the motivation and inner strength going. Which is why besides this, the wishes of things that you imagine you'll get out of the goal for example winning the competition would be a great boost for you to keep going on achieving your dream especially during dull moments. The way to be able to go through those moments of achieving the dream is that you have to be able to undergo such transformation in order to attain the dream because we know that the bigger the goal we have, means that there are more things we need to change about ourselves both external and internal but especially from internal. So say in times of preparation for that competition, you have to undergo transformation on how you do your time management, control your emotions over tiring situations, and how you mingle with your team members so you can achieve your dreams. Don't be afraid to ask help from others in terms of you need to have a longer time to adapt both in technical and emotional ways to this situation. Don't be afraid to ask for advice from someone that you truly trust and support you as to how you will have to undergo this way to achieve your dream. Tell them too your tiredness or laments during this so you can have your emotional burden being lifted up. By that in the future you are going to be more prepared in facing the challenges or future goals that you want to achieve after this as you have undergone deep transformation due to your desires which as you level off, you'll be more ready to achieve your more advanced goals with your renewed emotional strength and preparations.

2. BIRDS

The way for you to increase your willingness and courage to achieve the dream that you want is to be obsessed with the dream that you want to achieve. Put all of your dedication to the goal that you want to achieve. If someone take one or two steps to achieve the dream, for you, you need to take about four or five steps to achieve the dream. The point is that you need to take many steps further than others to achieve those dreams. Be immersed and invested in goals that you want to achieve but make sure that you won't lose yourself in the process as it will bring a negative effect on you. Remember this is double edge swords. On one hand you dedicate yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally to the goal that you want to achieve as we know that desire is our strongest fuel to achieve whatever we want that prevails all the obstacles ahead. So make sure that you are invested in this goal that it becomes your own strongest self motivation to achieve the dream while also maintaining your boundaries over your desires so it won't overpower you that makes you feel helpless to the point of your detriment. The other thing you need to take note is to ignore any disparities that you have with other people as you are in the process of achieving those dreams. So say that you see other people seem to be more talented than you, more suitable for that position, or have more experiences than you, you need to assure yourself that those views won't make you step back from achieving your dreams because even experiences and talents can be beaten by desires and courage that someone has to achieve the the dreams. So as long as you keep your desires and dedication energy to your favor, you are going to be able to beat them in order for you to achieve your dreams. Which is why here we have another advice that you need to feel really confident about yourself both in your sense of identity and your capability to achieve your dreams. Your self confidence will be your other greatest tool to help you drop yourself in front of the dream that you want. So try to not get your insecurities over what you think you can do get in the way to achieve your dreams or see yourself as less incapable as those people to obtain your dreams. Try to be secure in yourself that you believe that with whatever resources that you have both physically in terms of your skills and mentally in terms of your desires, you are and will always be able to achieve your dreams. By that you'll have happiness for succeeding to achieve your dreams which bring you to utmost self satisfaction and liking toward yourself. So really in this situation you are being advised to put yourself high so behave like you have all what it takes to achieve your dream and you must be succeed to achieve your dreams.

Continue to read here:

3. FISH

For you pile 3 to be able to elevate your courage and willingness to achieve your dream is to balance the mastery of both your intelligence (mind) and emotions. It seems that the things that often get in the way for you to be able to achieve your dream is that both your mind and emotions tend to go high and low. So when you are in need to be performed based on your mind, your emotions are not being able to cooperate so that they mess things up. The same when you need to be in touch in your emotions but you are operating so much from your mind that you become way too technical in handling things that actually need emotions in order to do that. So here, you are being asked to find a balance between having to use the mind and emotions at the same time when both are operating in times they are needed the most and both are at their strongest point so there won't be any lack, imbalance, or disparities between emotions and mind. So yes you need to focus on your goal that you need to elevate your intelligence in terms of you learning new skills, read books, exercising, and else but you also need to master your emotions in terms of you not getting overwhelmed when things are being hard, you realize that there are many things that need to do or learn and it seems that it won't be over and you won't able to cover that, or any minor disturbance over the process of you getting your goals that makes you easily frustrated and stop the process of you achieving those dreams. No, there has to be balance between you elevating your skills and also you getting in touch with your emotions that none of those things is ahead of others.

Continue to read here:

PSA: For some reasons, Tumblr doesn't let me post a long read. So you are directed to the rest of the reading through the link. Hopefully you don't mind❤

#pick a card reading #tarot reading #witchblr #lenormand #oracle #tarot #free reading #free tarot reading #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #divination #divination community #pick a card #intuitive reading #free intuitive reading

87 notes · View notes