#i’m happy to hear other people’s perspectives if you’re willing to share | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

glowingbadger · 3 years

Note

Hi! Could you do SFW and NSFW relationship headcanons for Raphael and Hubert, please?

(P.S. I swear I sent this in a few weeks ago but you must not have gotten it. I am mortified at the chance I accidentally sent it to another blog!)

Your timing is incredible- your request was literally the next one on my list haha :3 So no worries, it got to the right place! I'm just still catching up a bit lol. Let's talk Raph and Hubie!

Raphael, Hubert x GN Reader

SFW (nsfw below the cut)

Raphael:

- Raphael is such an absolute sweetie as a boyfriend. He's very nurturing and just a healthy level of protective, but he also knows that he's not perfect and is willing to listen to you when you need something different from him, or just to vent. He's also endlessly uplifting, always instinctively looking on the bright side of things and eager to open up that sunny perspective to share with you.

- As we all know, the way to Raph's heart is through his stomach. If you're even a little skilled in the kitchen, you've got an easy in to spending time with him whenever you like. If you're not much of a cook, he's happy to be a taste-tester until you've got it figured out. Though it's not like his palette is incredibly refined, so you might not get the most nuanced feedback.

- It is essential that you meet his little sister's approval- it's practically like courting a single father. Her happiness is his utmost priority, so one day when she mentions off hand that she can't wait for you all to spend time together again, he practically starts tearing up and warmth fills his chest. Knowing that you get along with the other most important person in his life just reaffirms his affections for you a thousand fold.

- His idea of a date pretty much always involves food, and with his energetic and warm personality, those kinds of dates are easy to enjoy. If you suggest other ideas though, while he might not be sure it's his "thing" at first, he'll quickly find something to get excited about and invested in. Besides, when he's with you, he has a hard time caring about anything but watching you just be your wonderful self, all with a wide, goofy smile on his face.

Hubert:

- Hubert quietly dotes on you. His love language is absolutely acts of service. This is largely because he finds it so hard to believe- practically disorienting- that you'd want to be with him of all people. As such, he does everything in his power to ensure that you're provided for. You may not even realize the lengths he's willing to go to for some time, as he has a habit of doing helpful or sweet things for you without your knowledge. Maybe it takes a vaguely threatening "chat" with some disrespectful knave who's been trying to get your attention, or perhaps there's a tear in your favorite shirt that he has sent to be repaired without ever mentioning it. Hubert doesn't seek praise- only your happiness.

- that said... He does absolutely melt when you do praise or compliment him. He does his best to appear stoic, but his face turns bright red when you tell him how lucky you are to be with someone so considerate and conscientious. Funnily, when he's riding high on his adoration for you (whatever you would call Hubert's version of feeling warm and fuzzy), not much changes other than that he's less conversational, appearing exceptionally introspective. The truth is just that he can't stop thinking of you and this bizarre feeling you've nurtured in him.

- he will NEVER admit this and will strike fear into the soul of any who would suggest it- but when others give him romantic advice, he does take note. When Edelgard suggests he have flowers sent to you for no particular reason, or Ferdinand recommends he take you riding through the countryside on a particularly lovely day, he does consider them and possibly even follow through.

- listen. The first time Hubert returns to his quarters from a late night "mission" to see you waiting up for him, struggling to stay awake to greet him and make sure he's okay, he's just... A puddle. He holds you so close and so tight, resting his face in your hair without a word. He's simply so overwhelmed that he should ever be so fortunate as to be welcomed home by someone he loves.

NSFW 18+ v

Raphael:

- Raph is a Big Boy and a Strong Boy, and those two facts are never more relevant than when things start getting heated. He's had one or two prior sexual partners (people from his hometown who came onto him- he enjoyed it well enough, but he's WAY more into it after falling for you), so he generally knows what he's doing, but likes a bit of guidance. He worries a lot about hurting you, but also enjoys showing off his strength and stamina for you- so letting you set the pace tends to work best overall.

- He openly loves it when you compliment his muscles and physique, reminding him of just how big and strong he is compared to you and how easily he lifts and positions you. Hearing it from your lips energizes him and makes him more determined than ever to pleasure you and take care of any and all of your needs. He's a bit clumsy about some of the finer operations involved- but honestly, sometimes it's hot enough just to feel his large and powerful fingers spreading you open. It's hard to lament his lack of dexterity when he can so easily fill you and reach your every sensitive spot at once.

- He's really not much one for power-play, or any kind of spicy roleplay. He simply doesn't see the point. Raphael would always rather just tell you openly how amazing and gorgeous you are as you ride his big, thick cock. You're so small even when you're above him, and he can't help wanting to hold you as your stretched out little hole takes him again and again.

- Raphael can resist cumming for a long time for the privilege of getting to fuck as many orgasms out of you as possible. He's got some impressive stamina. He'll lift and reposition you several times, then very carefully ease his huge member back into you, giving you plenty of time to acclimate to him filling you up from a new angle. There's no question that you'll be satisfied by the time he finally cums- but once he's done, he's done. Raphael cums hard, and a good volume, and once he's ridden out his climax, all he wants is to cuddle you on his broad chest and maybe share a snack, then drift off for a nap together.

Hubert:

- I've talked about some general spicy ideas for Hubie before in the past, so definitely check my masterlist for those (I love this miserable bastard so fucking much-). Overall, I see him as a classic, domineering Dom in the bedroom. Hubert needs a certain level of control over everything in his life to feel even a little at-ease, and intimacy is no exception. It won't take long into a relationship with him for it to become clear that he's happiest and most satisfied when you're a good, docile little pet for him.

- It's not extremely obvious at first, but Hubert's body is very sensitive and very touch-shy, simply due to lack of exposure. He's had a few sexual partners, though largely for pragmatic, political purposes, so the experience of being with you and wanting so badly to be truly intimate with you is completely new to him. Add this to the fact that, at his core, he still believes you deserve so much better than he could ever give you in all things, and you've got yourself a complex over-thinker in your bed. This is part of why dominating you is so soothing to him. When you're his personal needy kitten, he can direct you as he pleases, catering your treatment to his comfort level.

- Hubert gets very invested in the finer details of your submission. He takes great care to select a collar custom made for you, and will manage everything from your posture to your line of sight to when you're allowed to cum. He does not suffer brats; misbehaving will result in literal hours of punishment, and you're lucky if it only amounts to spanking. He's much more likely to tie you, or even magically restrain you on his bed completely exposed (or in a shamefully erotic outfit) and tease your clit/head of your cock until tears wet your eyes and you beg him to be allowed to cum.

- That all said, if you're a very, very good pet for him- or if you're someone a bit more shy or anxious in bed, he is capable of being a very soft and caring Dom. This even surprises him, but he can't help brushing a gloved hand to your cheek as you take his cock into your pretty lips, and he murmurs, "That's right, my dearest, just like that. You're doing wonderfully- just a little longer for me and I swear that I'll satisfy you."

#raphael kirsten #hubert von vestra #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #feh #raphael x reader #hubert x reader #fire emblem x reader #fire emblem smut #fluff and smut #fire emblem headcanons

177 notes · View notes

kimmyyang · 3 years

Text

210408 Zhang Zhehan's interview with Elle Magazine

"I want to be like Ah-Xu, be a gentle yet strong person."

On the day of the photoshoot, it was a rare windy day in Bei Hai. The weather forecast reported it will rain, which made everyone slightly heart-stricken. "Can we still take photos by the seaside?", "how about changing the location?", we were worrying, but fortunately it didn’t rain, only left with steer drop in temperature and roaring wind.

On the way to the photoshoot location, Zhang Zhehan recorded the sound of wind outside of the window. To be able to use the last bit of daylight before the sun sets completely, after filming, he only had one hour and a bit to go back to the hotel, have dinner, change clothes, and get his makeup done. And now, when we have done everything, he uses the time in the car to chat with the long-waited fans in the drama interactive zone.

Busy is an expected state. But when we saw him at the location, you can’t tell any trace of being busy from his face. The strong wind blew the gravels on the beach in the sky. During the interval of the photoshoot, everyone couldn’t help but complained about the cold wind and getting sand all over their faces. Only Zhang Zhehan looked more relaxed as if he came back from a different beach as us.

When we moved to the coffee shop, we finally had time to sit down and talk. He asked the staff to give him a cushion for his back, at that moment, it was probably the first time that made us realize that he is actually very tired. "It’s tough and tiring to be an actor, right?" we haven’t even finished the sentence, and he disagreed, "it’s all the same, every job is tough and tiring."

It seems that he has a big heart.

He chose to ride to Tibet with his friend for his graduation trip. Like his mum said he always has the spirit of seeking out suffering. Speaking of this journey, he said: "we’re living too happily, most families don’t have to worry about clothes and food, don’t need to go through a lot of hardships. I like what Huang Lei teacher once said, ‘people will only have faith after suffering, people will understand kindness after suffering.’ I think after seeing the suffering in the world and feel the suffering yourself - you will be kind to others."

After hearing what he said, you will realize that ‘big heart’ could have been a misunderstanding. He can’t dilute ‘sufferings’ more than others, instead, in the moments of ‘seeking out sufferings’, his feeling towards ‘sufferings’ is stronger and more abundant compared to most people.

He has a very meticulous side, he feels, understands, and hides his ‘sufferings’. Then, those experiences and feelings related to sufferings become something that is hard for others to spot on him.

He said, "when we’re going through a hardship, we can only see the hardship itself, you don’t realize that it’s actually reminding you something and teaching you something else." This is also his understanding of being mature – you can see the many sides of one thing.

‘Bruce Almighty’， ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’， ‘The Bucket List’ are his favorite movies. He said, "there’s a line from Bruce Almighty that left a deep impression – do you really hope God will give you happiness? Maybe everyone’s interpretation of happiness is different, but in the movie, the protagonist only realized it at the end, God was giving him happiness, but not the so-called happiness, God taught him the ability to gain happiness." He pressed his thumb again his chin, slightly looking down, earnestly sharing his impression of the movie.

He added, "you’re actually changing your perspective of the problem." Like what he wrote before, "being mature is being able to see the things that you couldn’t see before."

Maybe if the settling time is long enough, you will be able to stay calm in the change of tides and guard yourself in the quicksand under your feet. Speaking of popularity, he was calmer than we expected.

He said, "popularity is very important for an actor. I think it’s complementary, when you’re popular, you will receive more attention. You will be able to carry some things on your shoulders, first, it can prove that you have the ability, second, it can prove you’re acknowledged by the market."

He continued, "as actors, we also need to be acknowledged by the market. I have seen some amazing actors, they put so much effort into every character but maybe haven’t been acknowledged by the market yet, so they remain unknown. Therefore, a lot of great characters won’t fall into their hands.” It sounds cruel but it’s an undeniable fact. He added, “if you’re not popular, good scripts won’t even land in your hands."

The success of ‘Word of Honor’, to Zhang Zhehan, is like winning the lottery.

He said, "the success of a drama depends on timing, geographical and social conditions, none of these is dispensable. There are hundreds and thousands of dramas filmed each year, but in the end, there will only be one or two that everyone would love. That kind of feels like winning the lottery."

Working hard is very common, it’s nothing special, he thinks it’s unreasonable if you just use ‘working hard’ and ask why you are ‘under appreciated’. Just like how everyone praises him for being an experiential actor and praises his immersive acting. But he thinks, this is the passing line to be an actor, this is what actors are supposed to do.

He said, "if you’re an actor and you don’t experience the character, how could you portray it well, if you don’t get into the character, how could you make the character come to life?"

Working hard, experiencing, and immersing… he views them as a refined definition of actor, these are the preconditions of the lottery ticket. As for whether you can win the lottery in the end, no one can predict it. At least in his experience, he waited for 11 years for that winning lottery ticket.

After the filming ended, he wrote ‘jianghu, goodbye’ on Weibo, when the last episode aired, it was exactly 6 months after the last day of filming. His Weibo is on the setting of showing only the recent 6 months’ posts, as if it was a ‘long been destined’ farewell.

Perhaps the character Zhou Zi Shu is destined to be his. During the four months of filming, he had to gradually reveal Zhou Zi Shu’s two thousand layers of gray, he had to find him, become him, and lastly live the rest of his life for him.

Actors are probably all like this, they always must pour in their own life, emotions, and experience to make the character come to life. The process of making the character come to life means the actors get to experience life and emotions once again.

"Life is experience, you need to put some of your experiences into your characters."

Hegel mentioned in ‘Lectures on Aesthetics’ - 艺术通过供观照的形象可以缓和最酷烈的悲剧命运, 使它成为欣赏的对象。(thank you @sixteenthshen for providing the original quote!)

the specific lines zzh mentioned is bolded: If we are in a general way permitted to regard human activity in the realm of the beautiful as a liberation of the soul, as a release from constraint and restriction, in short, to consider that art does actually alleviate the most overpowering and tragic catastrophes by means of the creations it offers to our contemplation and enjoyment, it is the art of music which conducts us to the final summit of that ascent to freedom.

The reason why those so-called pains are endowed with aesthetic tension may lie in ‘being watched with pleasure’. Those most beautiful things aren’t been torn in our real lives, they become one ‘tearing performance’ after another, being shown on the stage, shown on the screen. The existence of aesthetic distance made ‘those so-called pains’ into something that can be bearable, having its own appreciation.

That so-called ‘pain’ experience comes more direct towards actors, there’s not much room for leeway. In his previous interview, he commented that Zhou Zi Shu is the most memorable character, the character that hurt him the most. Talking about ‘getting hurt’ again, he thinks that is unavoidable.

"I say that an actor has to get into the character and get out of character quickly. But when you’re acting in a happy scene, that happy feeling might last for a day or few days. When you’re acting in a sad, heart-broken scene, even you say it’s ok, it’s fine, it won’t affect me. But it will affect your mood, including your actions. When I go back to my room, I can’t help but to think about that scene, I might not be willing to go out and walk around."

"So, do you think acting is a process of wearing yourself out and wearing emotions down?"

"Of course, of course, of course, it’s wearing myself out." He said of course three times consecutively, "it’s not just wearing my emotions down, it also wears my physical strength out, wears my experience out, and a lot of my own things. So, if I want to do well in a piece of work, I can’t go into the next crew right after I have finished filming. Because you will have traces of the last piece of work, it’s actually hard to accept and get into the next character."

"I personally really like to stay in the filming crew, the reason why I said Zhou Zi Shu is great is that we couldn’t have any other work due to COVID-19 restrictions. I was in the crew for 4 months, in peace. I was looking into and experiencing the character carefully."

On the day of the interview, the Q&A part about acting was the most ‘unrestrained’. Every time we throw out a question, we would always get a powerful and resonating reply. From the perspective of a bystander, you could feel that he is the kind of person that is shining in his professional field.

At the end of every drama/ film, he would choose to leave that environment, and go out to have fun for few days. "I’m not insisting that I need to disengage from the drama/ film, I just want to relax, return to myself, return to Zhang Zhehan’s life."

"So, when you’re looking at Zhou Zi Shu again now as a viewer, do you have any different sentiment?"

"Of course, I would think of the funny parts and incidents. A lot of interesting bits that I’ve added in myself, you can see it in the character." Fortunately, as an actor, he can also feel the happiness that ordinary viewers have.

In our conversation, the words that he mentioned the most were 'gentle yet strong'.

"I really like netizens' comments that Zhou Zi Shu is gentle yet strong."

"The quality that I admire the most now is gentle yet strong."

"I feel like now I want to be like Ah-Xu, someone who is gentle yet strong."

"I want to be like Ah-Xu, become a bit gentler."

He thinks this seemingly contradictory combination is very interesting, "strong describes a person who is strong, whereas gentle is soft. These two words may seem to have no connection, but when they’re put together, it’s also a perfect connection."

"I didn’t feel this way before. I used to think people have to be strong, powerful, how can you be gentle yet strong? I think that’s something I need to learn now. This person must make everyone around them feel comfortable and think of others, but at the same time he/ she is also an individual who’s very strong and full of capabilities."

"Like water, it’s like this when it’s calm, it’s like that when it’s surging high."

He used as many hand gestures as he could as he wanted to express what’s on his mind as much as possible.

Gentle yet strong, this is what he saw, felt from Zhou Zi Shu, and it’s also the character experience he most wants to leave behind.

"Speaking of what hasn’t changed for 11 years, is that I’m still acting; speaking of changes there are a lot. All these years of experience, it became my understanding of each character, in contrast, 11 years of acting experience allowed me to learn a lot from my characters."

To him, every big or small character he had in the past 11 years is a mutual encounter, he gave something to the characters, and the characters also left him with something.

Those who have seen his acting praise him that he truly understands Zhou Zi Shu, so we asked how he could stand in the perspective of Zhou Zi Shu to understand his words and actions. He doesn’t think that it was understanding, it just naturally happened.

"I didn’t deliberately try to understand him, I think what he did was just following his heart, that’s how I feel, so that’s how it should be. I would ask if it was myself, can I do that? Is it acceptable? If I think it’s ok, then it’s right. If I think it’s unacceptable, I will definitely tell the director - 'I don’t want to act this way.'"

"I read another book today, the main idea is the most important thing for people is to know themselves. Know yourself, know what kind of person you are, then you will know the world. You need to learn how to reconcile with yourself, learn how to communicate with yourself, tell yourself when you need to keep going, when to compromise, when you need to understand, when you need to be strong… you need to keep being yourself and convince yourself at certain times."

Meeting Zhou Zi Shu, to Zhang Zhehan is also the process of meeting and knowing himself. "But I’m probably not as mighty as Zhou Zi Shu," he laughed.

He thinks that he’s not at the age of looking back, the things that have happened, just let them go. "There’s nothing to remember in particular, there’s nothing memorable. And my occupation, a lot of people will remember for you, they will remember your good, remember your various moments, so I don’t need to remember. What I need to do now is to live well, my current life, future life, and get into the next role."

"When I can’t act anymore, I think I will look back more."

Now, he wants to challenge a new area, "I really want to act in movies, act in more movies. 40 episodes of acting and 2 hours of acting are different, condensed acting is the quintessence. I still need to learn how to act well in the 2 hours."

And "I hope I can be a director one day."

The beautiful scenery in spring is as deep and wide as the sea, it’s fortunate that we get to meet.

"My occupation, many people will remember every moment of yours."

"Immerse into my next character, and live well - that's what I need to do now. "

Translation by: KIMMYYANG

325 notes · View notes

arvandus · 3 years

Note

Hello! Happy 750!!! So I have this OC with a singing quirk. She’s basically like Giselle from enchanted where she can control the people and animals and occasionally plants and wind with just her voice. However she processes everything around her as music so it’s constantly playing in her head and gives her severe insomnia. She’s also a member of the LOV so I was wondering what her interactions with each of the members would be like but mostly Dabi. Would they find her annoying or fun? Up to you

Thank you! It took me a little bit to dwell on this one, because the idea is so interesting! But I finally got hit by the Inspiration Imagination, and here we are! I hope you like it; I've adjusted it to x Reader per your request, and I hope you don't mind I took just a little bit of creative license for the Reader's perspective and how to describe her quirk. I also kept it very Dabi-focused in the interest of time.

Dabi x F!Reader w/ a singing quirk (SFW)

💙 It would be a rocky start at first. Dabi would have difficulty trusting you, simply because your quirk is so powerful. Anything that could potentially take away his free will would make him mistrustful and want to avoid said threat like the plague - or remove it entirely.

💙 But Shigaraki says you’re off limits, so he settles to keep you at arms length while at the same time keeping a close watch on you. One wrong slip, and he’ll handle you himself (or so he tells himself).

💙 He also mistrusts you because… well… as a fellow insomniac, he knows that you’re up at all hours of the night. He’s not sure why, of course… he never knocks on your door to ask. But he hears you shuffling around in your space, pacing in your room. What could possibly keep you up so late every single night? What’s got you looking so exhausted every day as if you never sleep? He’s convinced that you’re a spy, somehow sending messages to their enemies when everyone is asleep. Except he never hears you leave your room. Never hears you talking to anyone. So there must be something he’s missing.

💙 You’re an enigma to him, and it drives him crazy. Dabi doesn’t like unknowns.

💙 On your end, Dabi drives you nuts. He’s an asshole, every word that falls from his mouth laced in backhanded compliments and passive-aggressive accusations. You’d come close to using your quirk on him on many occasions, just to make him shut up or leave the room. Fortunately for Dabi, you have a personal code of honor that you abide by, and controlling people through your singing is only reserved for your enemies.

💙 He’s not your enemy… not yet at least.

💙 You know why he doesn’t trust you, and you don’t blame him… and he's certainly not the first person to be suspicious of you. But does he really gotta be such a dick about it? You try to be upfront with him, to explain that you live by a code and he’s safe from your quirk, but it makes little difference. Dabi doesn’t trust easily, and promises mean very little to him.

💙 His trust is finally gained when you use your quirk to save him and the other league members from certain death. There’s nothing quite like the sensation of hearing the beautiful notes of your voice while in freefall and then feeling himself being caught on a strong wind current, only to be set safely on the ground seventy meters below.

💙 After that happens, he begins to take an even greater interest in you, but this time with more curiosity and less mistrust.

💙 He starts poking and prodding, some questions being asked directly, while others are only implied. After all, he loves his little mind games, and even more so, he loves getting under your skin, especially since you refuse to use your quirk on him. It’s basically given him a ‘get out of jail free’ card for being a brat.

💙 He really, really wants you to prank the others using your quirk. And your little miss “I’m a good girl with a special code of ethics” makes the game that much sweeter. After all, you’re just as much a villain as the rest of them. If Toga can go around swinging her knives from her fingertips, then why couldn’t you sing a little song now and then?

💙 But Dabi quickly learns that you’re just as stubborn as he is, if not more so.

💙 Even so, it’s frustrating for you because if it were anyone else you wouldn’t have put up with this level of bullshit. The persuasion, the flirting, the school-yard level dares… the man has no shame and tries every tactic in the book to try to get what he wants from you. What makes it even worse is that a secret part of you enjoys his mischief. His ideas are tempting sometimes. Especially when the other league members annoy you.

💙 On top of all that, he is strangely alluring, even with his scars. And more importantly, the ‘song’ his body gives off is, well, a pleasant one to say the least.

💙 Every person has a ‘musical aura’ more or less, a small symphony of heartbeats, breaths, and something more… ephemeral. It comes through in the way they move through the environment, in the way the air particles are displaced around them and vibrate with their energy.

💙 And for some reason Dabi’s song is practically intoxicating, just like his sharp blue eyes that always seem to pin you down, heavy lids held up by a cocky smirk.

💙 The two of you reach an impasse in your battle of wills, an unspoken stand-off that never wanes. And it’s upon this competitive dance that the two of you begin to build some strange sense of camaraderie.

💙 He’ll eventually give up on his desire for pranking his comrades when he sees you use your quirk on heroes. But not just any hero, of course…

💙 Imagine Dabi’s glee when you use your song quirk to make Endeavor literally dance as the large man’s face flushes red with rage. It was intended to keep him busy while the League made their escape. But it makes it all over the news of course, and becomes viral online for months. The laughter that the two of you share when you get back to the hideout lasts for hours as you watch the news replay the scene over and over it. It really never gets old.

💙 Oh man, does he like you even more now. You’re his new favorite person. And he finally stops harassing you about using your quirk on the League members, instead finding much greater enjoyment in targeting different heroes together.

💙 There will come a time that he’ll catch you on one of your many insomnia-induced nights. It’s a hard one, sleep being kept at bay by the musical cacophony surrounding you, despite your obvious exhaustion. Your strength finally shatters, and you break down into tears in your room in frustration.

💙 Guess who ends up knocking on your door?

💙 Of course Dabi heard you. For months he’s been listening to the pacing of your feet or your frustrated sighs through the thin, old walls. It’s almost become a lullaby to him by this point, a way for him to know that you’re safe and sound… more or less.

💙 “What’s wrong, doll?” he’ll ask, as he stares down at your tear-streaked face. “I can hear ya through the walls, so don’t gimme any of your bullshit excuses.” Anyone else would hear the mockery in his voice, but for you with your quirk, you can hear the song of caring weaved through them, a hidden secret that you’re sure even he doesn’t realize is there.

💙 He won’t wait for an answer as he enters your personal space and makes himself comfortable.

💙 His sudden presence and that comforting familiar song it brings with it soothes more than you’d like to admit.

💙 But you do admit it. You admit to everything. The fatigue you feel, the way your quirk makes you suffer, and how for some reason, the song of him puts you at ease, drowning out the other noise. It’s like your inner radio is tuned just for him. Normally you wouldn’t admit to any of this of course, but you’re well past the point of exhaustion now, and your brain isn’t running as smoothly as it normally would. So what did it matter if you told him everything? You really didn’t have the strength to care anymore.

💙 “Your quirk is fuckin’ weird.” he admits. Then a grin will spread across his face. “You like my ‘song,’ huh? C’mere.”

💙 He’ll have you lay down with him on your bed and hold you close to him, your head on his chest as he rests his chin in your hair. “Does it help?” he’ll ask.

💙 Shockingly, it does. His music surrounds you, and you close your eyes as you let it cover you like a warm blanket. Everything else seems to fall to the wayside, your tired brain only able to focus on one melody - his. Before you can even nod in response, you’re fast asleep.

💙 It’ll become a habit for you two now… On particularly hard nights, he’ll keep you company and hold you. And maybe… maybe he’ll start letting you keep him company when he has hard nights too.

#Arv's 750 Followers Event #Dabi x reader #dabi x reader hcs #dabi x reader headcanons #dabi hcs #dabi headers #dabi sfw #dabi humor #dabi fluff #soft dabi

131 notes · View notes

magireco · 3 years

Note

Would love to hear more thoughts on how these girls have understandable teenage motivations (A+ tag analysis by the way)

1. Thank you!!!!!!

2. ALRIGHT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (shuffles my papers). i’ve gone off about homura’s motivations in depth before but i think it was only in dms/groupchats? anyways i’ll go in order with All the girls bc i think about this all the time as a teenager who grew up mentally ill and had their perceptions skewed because of it, and also i don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough for the others, at least on my blog... so, buckle up!!! this is REALLY LONG!!!!

3. i tried writing like, an individual thing for every member of the quintet all together in this one ask, but i ended up talking a little too much about homura and now i’m going to split up all the different analysis stuff for each character into the reblogs and work on it every so often! you’re free to kinda skim of course because i really did write a whole novel but here we go!! read under the cut. :3 this is literally essay length btw. i did NOT expect it to get this long but if you want to read it all i’d recommend it but i don’t expect most people to

First: Homura Akemi

okay so i’m going to kind of summarize everything but from the perspective of empathizing with her so if you don’t want to reread a whole recap you can skip to the ending few paragraphs

Summary

first of all, in episode 10, homura’s past is explained for the viewer. she was a shy, unsure girl who had been bedridden for a long time. she was clearly unsocialized, not to mention she went to a catholic school and those can be brutal, esp in japan... that’s all we know about her in that episode, but it’s revealed in one of the drama cds that she was bullied as a child(& further at mitakihara middle), her parents never were mentioned ever (i assume them to either be dead or neglectful, considering she lives alone and unchecked), and in magia record, homura says to natsuki that she’s never had friends before, she hasn’t been on vacation before until the beachside bonds event, hasn’t ever celebrated valentine’s day, has never celebrated new years, etc...

clearly, she’s missed out on a lot not only because of her sickness and hospitalization, but because of her isolation as a child at school. judging by her demeanor and the way she reacts when madoka comes up to her without being asked to, something like that had never happened to her before. it’s clear to me that madoka was many of homura’s “first’s”, her first friend, the first person who reached out to her, the first person to compliment her name honestly(validating her, disproving her dislike of her name), the first person to regard her so kindly rather than judging her based off of her appearance and demeanor (like other students had apparently done, this is also shown when the other students at mitakihara middle make fun of her for being tired after only being able to run one lap). AND, madoka (and mami, but homura knew madoka better at that time) saved her life, even though homura was so willing to die, just in that moment... i’d assume it made homura feel like someone believed in her even when she was at her worst. it’s really clear by the glimmer in her eyes that these are nice people that made her feel happy and welcome... and then walpurgisnacht came. she didn’t know much about magical girls and just believed in madoka and mami to be able to defeat the witch because she saw them as strong and saw the witch as defeatable, despite its size. and then mami died, right in front of her and madoka...

this kinda seems headcanon-y when i phrase it this way but it’s practically proven in her actions but i really think homura is scared to be abandoned, especially by someone who was as overtly kind and nonjudgemental to her as madoka... it’s in the way she cries her name and says “don’t go” before madoka runs away to fight walpurgisnacht. OH ALSO, i need to address this one thing really quick because people like to assume that homura didn’t care about mami from the beginning and only liked madoka. it’s not that she wasn’t sad when mami died, she was clearly terrified and didn’t want the same to happen to madoka, also mami LITERALLY WASN’T IN HER CLASS OR HER GRADE so i assume she spent most of her time with madoka considering they were in the same grade and class and probably shared most of their periods with each other... but also, once again, mami is older than both of them and homura probably saw her as more of a mentor/teacher that she needed to impress rather than madoka who was more on her level, i guess?

anyways, moving on... homura had to see madoka die (& experience the crushing guilt she felt for “letting madoka go” even though there was nothing she could’ve done) and literally says “i’d rather you had lived than saved someone like me” ... her self worth is below zero. she makes her wish to be strong enough to protect madoka(because she sees madoka, her first friend, who saved her life which she felt had no worth, as so strong and noble) which causes her to go back in time, etc. etc., you know the deal. okay before i move on to talk a little more abt the timelines and the personality change i’m going to address why it’s reasonable that she’d be attached to madoka.

i mentioned before that homura said herself that she had never had a friend before. just like, put yourself into her shoes for a second. this girl has no idea how to make friends; it was never taught to her. it’s literally rational that she’d get attached to her first ever friendship. it’s not “normal” the way she views madoka, but how could it be? this is her first time having a friend, she’s afraid of being abandoned by her, but she’s had to see her die over and over again anyway. she doesn’t want to lose madoka. even if she doesn’t go about it in the right way, there’s no way she would’ve actually known how to Do relationships. no one taught her. i think that needs to be empathized with more...

i kinda feel like i need to summarize all this just bc if i word it right it kinda reminds you & puts into perspective just how terrible and scary all of this was.

anyway Again, i would skip straight to the end of timeline 3 (where a New Flavor of trauma is given to homura) but i need to first address timeline 2 for a second. it was homura’s first time repeating the timeline, she trained with madoka and mami again, she was still hopeful despite what happened, etc. kinda just bonding further with madoka Again... and then it’s at the end of this timeline that she watches madoka turn into a witch, just in front of her very eyes... and realizes the true fate of magical girls. when she resets the timeline again, it’s up to her to start anew and break the truth to the group when she sees them again. when she tries telling the truth, sayaka immediately shoves this aside, claiming homura was just trying to split everyone up. it’s clear that that hurts homura. (also the little shinies in her eyes were wavering which is anime-code for sad) her feelings were immediately disregarded by sayaka and she couldn’t defend herself, but madoka did for her, and mami tried to diffuse the situation.

after they all find out homura was right when sayaka turns into a witch, mami kills kyoko and ties up homura in her ribbons and aims a gun at her, and this, rightfully, ignited a fear within homura... madoka is forced to kill mami in order to save homura, leaving only the two of them to fight together. then, when walpurgisnacht comes that time, The Promise is made... madoka tells homura to go back in time and save her from becoming a witch (because she doesn’t want to curse the world that way, she still sees beauty in it) and homura agrees, saying she’ll never stop until she saves madoka, and then... homura has to mercy kill madoka before she becomes a witch. she cries loudly and shoots madoka’s soul gem... it’s literally so heartwrenching and (usually) brings the viewer to tears, or puts something into perspective for them...

then we assume the personality change happens in the timeline right after. this personality change causes a lot of discourse because sometimes it’s seen as kind of irrational, but personally, i think even moemura had at least SOME resent for the world around her considering what she’d been through. it’s madoka’s repeated deaths that finally push her over that edge. i could get further into the coolmura arc but that’d take a WHILE, so i’ll just kind of explain something briefly though -- why homura ended up becoming even MORE focused on madoka. and i’m also going to debunk the claim that homura doesn’t care about her other friends as fast as i can before moving on.

also, ONE LAST side tangent, for those that think homura really did do a 360 degree personality turn are wrong. it’s shown explicitly in homulilly’s labyrinth that there’s this... “core” homura, a shadowy purple silhouette with braids. every time the series depicts homura’s internal self, it’s always glasses+braids, symbolizing her “child” self, who she truly is. she never stopped being that person. she doesn’t want to kill. ...but i can get into that in a rebellion analysis later! this is also shown in wraith arc bc the person inside her soul gem has glasses+braids. anyway let’s get to the next part i’m going to rant about

Homura’s Love for Madoka, but Otherwise Apathy

homura has seen many different, yet all similar, versions of her friends. the first claim i’m going to talk about which i saw brought up quite a few times before is in regards to homura and mami. first of all, homura absolutely still cares for mami, and not just in the “i only care about your life if it affects madoka’s” way. one part that always gets me is when mami ties her up in the series timeline after homura frantically warns her that this witch isn’t normal, to which mami IMMEDIATELY brushes this off, without even giving homura a chance. then, when mami’s ribbons fade away, homura looks horrified and just goes “oh no...” and it’s kind of obvious to me that it was in response to mami’s death rather than madoka’s reaction. this is arguably up for debate i guess because i’ve seen different takes on that reaction and it’s ambiguous, i guess? but i’m about to get into something extremely similar and that’s the sayaka situation, where madoka throws sayaka’s soul gem onto a moving car. homura gasps and immediately pauses time and disappears, running in literal open traffic and climbing on top of a moving car to retrieve sayaka’s soul gem. one could argue that this is ALSO only just because homura wants to save madoka (and kyoko) the fear, but don’t you think her expression would be different? if homura truly didn’t care for sayaka’s wellbeing, wouldn’t she be making an expression more similar to like, “oh, this shit again...” instead of the frantic one she was making in the scene? this kind of thing Also happens when kyoko asks homura to leave while kyoko’s about to sacrifice herself in oktavia’s labyrinth, and homura looks up sadly at kyoko and then back down at madoka, and once she knew kyoko was dead, she just quietly said “kyoko...” to herself. she usually refers to them as [last name, first name], but she dropped that during that moment... it otherwise sounds like a bare minimum thing to do, but keep in mind the timeline we’re shown in the series is implied to be like, the 110th timeline, i think? like, this is the last timeline, she’s worn down, but she still does have empathy -- or at least sympathy -- for the others. she still loves them.

homura promised to be madoka’s protector, she dedicated her life to her, and also she doesn’t have a choice not to dedicate her life to her anymore, even though that’s not fair to her... homura is in a really hopeless situation and madoka is her hope, and madoka is the one that judges her the least out of the quintet (like saying “i’m sure homura is good” to herself) upon first impression. also okay i mentioned this already in my last post (which you saw) but i’m going to bring it up one more time, homura is not mentally 26!!!!!! she is still 14 mentally!! in order to be 26, you have to have experienced 26 years of new life experience. maybe you acquire that through school, maybe you aquire that through friends, whatever it takes. but homura just repeated the same month over and over, and it’s not like her body (canonically) ages ever. she just kind of gets transported back into her body in the hospital again considering she’s back wearing her braids and pajamas... so, yeah. no mental development there. i also mentioned this here but i’m gonna say it again, that just makes it even harder for her to actually age correctly... it stunts her to 14. imagine being 14 for 10-11 years...

In Defense Of My Own Claims

btw before you think i’m just going full-on radical homura apologist, i’m not explaining all of this to be like “homura made ALL THE RIGHT DECISIONS because her trauma gave her an excuse!!” because like, Obviously, she did a lot of bad things, she killed people, did a lot of callous things, a lot of thoughtless things, a lot of things that make her seem emotionless, etc. but i just have trouble blaming her considering how things ended up, and it’s not like she enjoys killing people. she’s not sadistic... she ends up becoming short with all the others not only because of her (extremely) weakened trust in them, but also because the amount of times she repeated the timeline. i’d imagine it makes her feel like the others can’t truly die because she can just go back and see them again. (this is also why wraith arc/post-tv series must’ve been hard for her because she can no longer turn back time, things are permanent now, deaths are forever) she’s become so worn down that she’ll do anything to escape the loops... also considering she has no choice but to continue? although it shouldn’t be, it’s technically her job as a magical girl to defeat all witches and walpurgisnacht counts. it kills magical girls and tears up the whole city and she’s usually the only magical girl left... her choices, when defeated, are either to give up and die or to go back and try again, and she made a promise to her first ever friend to do just the latter... i just don’t understand how this isn’t easier for people to comprehend, that all of this trauma and stress and responsibility on top of an already traumatized 14 year old does not mix well. ever. she had to figure out all of this by herself.

TL;DR:

homura was a previously traumatized, unsocialized 14 year old with (very)low self esteem & self worth whose first friend (and first love, really, let’s be honest) died in front of her in horrific ways and she watched as she (and the other friends she came to make) drifted slowly apart from her in her endless and futile attempt in saving her from what proved to be an inescapable fate. also she’s 14 and also she’s (canonically) mentally ill and a lesbian. not a monster, not evil, not “psycho”. and that’s that!

#asks #luna-mistrunner #homura akemi #analysis #THIS MAY HABE TAKEN ME LIKE 2 DAYS ON AND OFF

94 notes · View notes

angstymdzsthoughts · 3 years

Text

I promised that I would share the convo me and @time-flies-by had earlier today regarding the Maleficent AU post, so here it is!

time-flies-by Dude that Maleficent AU-

angstymdzsthoughts I knoooow

angstymdzsthoughts It got a bit dark on me

time-flies-by It did, but goddamn was it good!

angstymdzsthoughts Right? I'm super happy with it

time-flies-by As you should! It actually gave me chills

angstymdzsthoughts WWX goes to sleep in his husbands arms, happy and in love. Wakes up to that husband mutilating him Thank you!!!

time-flies-by The best part, is that LWJ doesn’t even see anything wrong with it. He’s just like, “it has to happen”

angstymdzsthoughts Yep! Just another part of getting married to him

time-flies-by WWX definitely leaves understanding Madam Lan a lot better.

angstymdzsthoughts Oof LWJ grows up around spouses who seem perfectly happy with life after losing their wings And his mother, who still had her wings, was miserable So he thinks hes actually helping to make WWX happier

time-flies-by Double oof WWX really doesn’t understand what he was getting himself into.

angstymdzsthoughts Oh my god other spouses try to warn him (in a quiet subtle way so their husbands don’t get upset)

angstymdzsthoughts All the Lans are taught that this is a special, intimate experience between spouses

angstymdzsthoughts I feel like Su She is jealous that LWJ got to experience that and is vindictively happy when WWX ran away

time-flies-by Oh my god, the Lans all brainwashed into thinking that the tight smiles, and the tears are signs of love, when in reality their spouse is trying so hard to not hate them. Soakxldowkenenw fuxking Su She

angstymdzsthoughts The spouses are all trapped. Oh wait

angstymdzsthoughts The "soulmate" thing only happens once or twice in a generation and Madam Lan had been the most recent before WWX so the spouse around who tries to warn him away is an old woman who has been married and trapped in the CR for life 55 years That makes it so much worse

time-flies-by Oh my god, imagine wwx accidentally runs into the the wing room, and is absolutely horrified to find all the wings there, so he goes to lwj and is all like “Lan Zhan? What’s this?” And LWJ just goes “don’t worry Wei ying, I’ll make sure that never happens to you.” And what he means is “I’ll make sure your grounding isn’t as painful as theirs.” And wwx trusts LWJ 100%, but then their own grounding happens.

angstymdzsthoughts OOF Oh my god just rip my heart out

angstymdzsthoughts All I can picture is WWX crying and calling LWJ a liar before he's silenced Most disturbing part is how gentle and loving LWJ is being while hes Removing His Husbands Limbs Soft little praises and telling WWX that they will be happy together now

angstymdzsthoughts Ohhh WWX is totally gonna blame himself if he saw the wings and didn't immediately run Gets to Yunmeng like 'how could I be so stupid to believe him'

time-flies-by Ooh especially if the spouses before him tried warning him too.

angstymdzsthoughts Yes Exactly

time-flies-by WWX: The signs were all there. . . There was a red flag everywhere!

angstymdzsthoughts The way WWX sees it is like that 'face eating leopard party' meme Everyone else is just plain horrified

time-flies-by Oof 😂

angstymdzsthoughts LWJ is crying in the CR asking what he did wrong Yunmeng Jiang is ready to start a war in order to get WWX his wings back

time-flies-by Omg yesssss The Lans are all clueless and offended because they see NOTHING wrong with their traditions.

angstymdzsthoughts Someone tries to put it in perspective for them. "How would you react if your spouse cut off your hands?" But the Lans dont get it and just dig their hole deeper. "Thats ridiculous! You Need hands! Wings are in no way a necessity."

time-flies-by Aish 😓

time-flies-by Yeah no, the Jiangs are definitely cutting all ties with the Lan after that.

angstymdzsthoughts The Lans argue that wings do nothing but make someone fickle and reckless and arrogant. They Need to be earth bound so they can learn stability and humbleness ... Oh my god... Horrible thought

time-flies-by Do tell

angstymdzsthoughts Some children of grounded spouses end up with wings too But they get them cut off when they are younger Should it be LXC or LWJ who use to have wings?

angstymdzsthoughts Spend their entire adolescence being ashamed of the wings and eagerly waiting for the day they can be removed

time-flies-by Oooh maybe LXC?

angstymdzsthoughts The most recent wings added are a pair of small white ones maybe half the size of WWXs and the sight of them make him run out because he may be sick

time-flies-by Oh god, what if there’s like, a whole room just full of children’s wings.

Angstymdzsthoughts Of course the Lans would keep them Ohhh WWX hears people talking about the grounding ceremony that will follow the honeymoon and has no idea what their all talking about He asks and the Lans explain that it's a sacred ceremony between spouses that truly binds the new spouse to the Lan family WWX is like- oh wow that sounds really great! Like a big 'welcome to the family'!

time-flies-by Oh no that make it worse! WWX is super excited for the ceremony. He’s like hyping himself up nonstop.

angstymdzsthoughts Oh with the Lan members with wings- they normally have a form of the grounding ceremony when they get their courtesy name and become a Real Lan. Lose your wings and get a name Oh my gooood WWX and LWJ go to bed that night talking about how the bonding ceremony will be tomorrow morning and LWJ assures him that he knows WWX will be perfect

time-flies-by Oh god no, I’m just imagining a bunch of children scared but super willing to lose their wings, because they’d been taught that having them made them everything the clan was against

angstymdzsthoughts WWX, cuddling close: What if I mess up and make a fool of myself? No ones really told me what to do yet. LWJ, petting WWXs wings lovingly: Don't worry, I'll take care of everything Exactly

time-flies-by Oooh I just got chills again

angstymdzsthoughts Something about LWJ touching and admiring WWXs wings in this context... 😨

time-flies-by LWJ: once I get rid of these, he’ll be all mine.

angstymdzsthoughts Touching wings isn't a normal thing outside of family (given that touching in general isn't normal in Chinese culture) but WWX was always super ok with friends petting his wings. He totally offered to let LWJ touch his wings when they were teenagers after catching him admiring them

angstymdzsthoughts LWJ hadn't felt a wing since his mother died shortly after her Binding and WWXs are a really beautiful glossy black color that turns a dark, rich purple if the light hits them just right. Of course he wants to touch

time-flies-by 😥😥

angstymdzsthoughts LWJ, cautiously running one finger along the feathers: They are so big... WWX: Of course they are! My wings have to be big and strong to carry me while I fly! LWJ immediately snatching his hand back, suddenly cold at the remainder that WWX can and will fly away far, far away from him

time-flies-by LWJ is really undermining the love WWX has for him by being that concerned that he’ll leave him.

angstymdzsthoughts He got brainwashed by his clan and he saw his mothers constant attempts to escape. Everyone around him said that the only reason she was trying to leave was because of her wings. If his own mother would leave him because of wings, what would stop WWX?

angstymdzsthoughts Madam Lan got way too close to actually escaping and QHJ was pressured into finally doing the ceremony. Madam Lan didn't last long after that

time-flies-by sent a post Source (****)

angstymdzsthoughts Hahaha

angstymdzsthoughts You know what would be worse? Baby A-Yuan with wings

time-flies-by Oh noooooo

angstymdzsthoughts Like au where LWJ didn't do the binding and unbrainwashed himself Then A-Yuan is born with wings and he grows up being told he won’t be a Real Lan if he keeps them So his parents have no plans of removing them but as his naming ceremony gets closer Yuan says he Wants to get rid of them WWX is immediately packing a bag and getting him and his son the hell out of there. LWJ is right behind him with another bag

time-flies-by Oof yes I like that

time-flies-by But like what if, the day before they leave or something, A-yuan runs to the elders and tells them about what his parents plan to do, and he’s so desperate to get rid of his wings that he asks them to just do the ceremony there and then

angstymdzsthoughts AAAAAAAAAA

time-flies-by When LWJ and WWX wake, they’re so stressed cause they can’t find A-yuan, but a few minutes later he comes in all proud and wingless

angstymdzsthoughts I mean since its Maleficent au wings are apparently magic and can be put right back on but Still Horrible WWX cries LWJ is gonna fight to get his sons wings back and then get his family the hell out of there Oh my god..... LWJ walking through a room full of tiny, near identical wings looking for the little pair that he would recognize anywhere

angstymdzsthoughts Let's a few tears out when he finds them. Remembers helping WWX clean and groom them and watching while WWX taught their son to balance and fly using those wings Hates himself for not seeing what his clan was doing to LSZ and not getting them away from all of it sooner

time-flies-by Codnekaoenen perfect

time-flies-by Heartbreaking, but perfect

angstymdzsthoughts Also, if things had gone according to plan and they left before LSZ did the Binding Yuan, struggling and crying: But I won’t be a Real Lan! WWX, throwing Yuan over his shoulder to carry him mid tantrum: Then you're gonna be a Wei. Lan Zhan, would you please carry this bag? LWJ, taking the bag: Mn. Wei Yuan sounds nice.

angstymdzsthoughts Then they go to Yunmeng so LSZ can grow up in a healthier environment

time-flies-by Oh I like your version better.

angstymdzsthoughts You brought the pain, I brought a bandaid

time-flies-by Haha yes yes, thank you

angstymdzsthoughts Oof tho. LWJ finds the wings and brings them home where WWX is guarding Yuan while he sleeps. They Return the wings while Yuan sleeps and return to making plans to go to Yunmeng once Yuan wakes When he wakes up and has his wings back he bursts into tears.

angstymdzsthoughts Could be because he really missed his wings and is glad to have them back or because this means he's gonna have to go through the grounding AGAIN and it really hurt the first time and he doesn't want to go through it again. Maybe both

time-flies-by If both, then WWX and LWJ will do their best to reassure him that he won’t have to go through the grounding ever again.

angstymdzsthoughts Aww little Yuan crying so hard he can hardly breath and bringing his wings around himself so he can pet and groom them because he needs to make sure this is real and their back

angstymdzsthoughts Oof. Imagine LXC seeing this and wishing he could have kept his wings. Goes to visit his wings and knows that they are too small to fit his body now that hes an adult so he's lost his chance

time-flies-by *sigh* we really should give LXC a break.

angstymdzsthoughts Never Ok how about he gets his wings back and even tho there too small because they never got the chance to grow with him and he'll never be able to fly hes so unbelievably happy WWX and Yuan teach him how to groom his wings correctly because the only person who ever did that was his mother and he cant quite remember how to do it

time-flies-by *sniff* family bonding time

angstymdzsthoughts He starts an arrangement with Yunmeng Jiang so he can send any winged Lans to them for half the year so they can learn that having wings Isnt the worse thing in the world

time-flies-by Oooh yes yes That’s good.

#Time-flies-by #Had a great time and the story kinda got away from us to the point that we made an au of an au #Maleficent AU #Wei Wuxian #Lan Wangji #Lan Xichen #Lan Sizhui #mdzs #mo dao zu shi

187 notes · View notes

marshmallowprotection · 2 years

Note

This has been on my mind for a while. Well, ever since you answered it anyway but way back I requested Saeran comfort during a bad day and…

I’ve thought about it everyday since then. It helped me put things into perspective a bit and process what the hell happened that day. I remember I started crying reading it, it’s silly but Saeran telling me I’m not a screw up took a bit of weight off my shoulders. I cried a lot that day but those were the only happy tears I had.

I just wanted to say thank you. I’m used to being ignored or pushed aside and it really meant so much to me I don’t think I can put it into words. Part of me is embarrassed that when I broke down you were the first person that came to mind haha;;; I still feel guilty about bothering you with my problem but I’m happy you decided to humor my request.

Things are kind of weird now but not as critical as back then, I’m trying my best to do better though it’s not always easy, I sometimes wind up rereading it on my low days when I need extra encouragement.

Kait, you’re a really kind person, I mean it. You always have this comforting presence, like a big sister and I hope you know that you’re appreciated. Make sure you take care of yourself~ you deserve all the love you get and more :) I’d like to give you a virtual hug if you’re willing to accept

I don't think it's ridiculous that you get a great source of comfort from a character. It's not silly or anything. I think it's a great way to find a sense of peace. When you can see a character that you love go through something difficult and come out on the other side okay, if a bit scarred? It's a reminder that you'll be okay in the end. Just as you cheer for that character, they cheer for you. I actually started to write when I was younger because I wanted to find a sense of comfort from characters. It just hits in a different way when it is a personal statement from a character. It feels more like they're speaking to you directly and that makes it much more validating in some ways.

I really enjoyed how other writers could create that online! So, what it did was made me feel inspired to do the same thing. Anybody can write and create something. So, if you ever feel like you want to try that for yourself, don't hesitate. Can bring a lot of comfort to be able to express your words in such a way. In a way, it can make you feel like your voice is much stronger. My voice isn't particularly very loud, either. But if you keep writing it down and sharing it, eventually it's going to be seen. You learn and adapt as you go. So you can only get better and learn more about where you want to go the more that you practice. If I can do anything in this world, I'm happy that I can provide is a sense of peace to other people when they need to hear something. It may seem silly that I'm able to do it through these characters, but I do think that any small act of kindness can mean a lot in the grand scheme of things.

You can do it, too. Just remember that your words have power. You can make somebody's day just by writing down something that you may think is silly but it may not be silly to somebody else. Hugs! I'm always here.

#mod kait #ask #anon #kait validation hours?#I'm a little exhausted this week but I'm resting and working on more chapters of my fic!

14 notes · View notes

autism-fucking-rocks · 3 years

Note

Hello, I have ADHD and I was explaining to my mom that most people with ADHD and autism don't want a cure, which is one of the main criticisms of Autism Speaks. She said some things that I didn't know how to dispute since I'm not autistic. If you'd be willing to share your opinions on her points, I'd appreciate it.

1. Why would someone who's nonverbal not want to become verbal if that was possible.

2. If someone is low functioning enough that their parents would have to take care of them for their whole lives, the parent is allowed to want and search for a cure for their child.

3. If neurotypical people have an easier time functioning in society, why would autistic people not want a cure if it was possible.

I tried to answer them as best I could but hearing your perspective would give me more incite to explain it to her.

I'd be happy to.

For the first one, there are ways of communication that don't involve speaking aloud. There's text to speech, software that allows you to use pictures, etc. It's not like you're completely barred from communication for all eternity.

I sometimes lose the ability to speak myself. I imagine this would be different for each individual, but I know that for me, it makes me happy to know that my family wants to hear what I have to say even if it takes me a bit longer to say it.

It also challenges neurotypicals' assumptions about us. It proves that you can't judge someone based on if they can speak or not.

I'll elaborate on this later, but we're happier when neurotypicals accommodate people who are different from them instead of trying to change them.

Side note: nonverbal means you can't communicate with words written or spoken. Nonspeaking would be when you can't talk aloud, but you can communicate in other ways.

On to the next point. The terms low functioning and high functioning are actually very harmful to us. I'm not gonna get into the reasons right now, but you can send me another ask if you're interested.

It should be their child's decision. The parent has no right to change their child if their child doesn't want to be changed. So to cure your child just to make YOUR life easier without regard to what your kid wants would be incredibly unethical to say the least.

One of the biggest reasons why we don't want a cure is that autism is the actual way our brains are wired. It's a fundamental part of who we are. Almost everything I do can be traced back to my autism in some way. To cure me of that would be to make me a completely different person.

To say that a parent has the right to completely rewire their child whether they like it or not is dehumanizing. Even if a person has high support needs (prefered alternative to low functioning), they still have a personality. Wants, dreams, desires, etc. So if you take the autism out of your kid, you're not gonna get a version of your kid that you find easier to 'deal with.' You're gonna end up with a stranger.

And onto the last point. It's true that being autistic is very difficult at times. But instead of forcing autistic people to change the very basis of who we are, we want neurotypicals to simply accommodate us, autism and all.

If neurotypicals just accepted our differences instead of shaming us for not understanding social rules, not making eye contact, stimming, not being able to speak, having meltdowns, etc etc etc, we would have a much easier time in this society.

If autistics are struggling so hard to survive in a neurotypical society, it's time to change society instead of simply doing away with autistic people and changing us into completely different humans.

And the last thing I want to point out is that a cure is not even theoretically possible. Like I said, it's the way my brain is hardwired. You couldn't undo that without a brain transplant, which I somehow doubt would work anyways.

So to summarize:

It's good for neurotypicals to accommodate different ways of communication instead of making everyone communicate like them.

You don't have the right to change your child just because it's hard for you.

Instead of trying to change autistic people, change your own ableism.

I hope this was helpful! Let me know what she says, if you don't mind.

#autism #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic #autism spectrum #tw ableism #ableism tw #ableism #nonspeaking #non verbal #nonverbal #non speaking

95 notes · View notes

themoonlitsojourner · 3 years

Link

Chapter 3: Come back home

Gar thought Raven didn't care. And he couldn't fault her for it after what happened when HE wore his heart on his sleeve. But now she's here with him. And he can't believe just how wrong he was.

In the dark room, lit only by fairy lights and the stars on the ceiling, Tara and Gar danced. They swayed back and forth, shuffling their feet in a pattern neither of them quite knew. The way they were dancing wasn’t important, after all. They were content just to be together, no matter what they were doing.

“How’s this for a dance?” Gar grinned. “It’s not exactly prom, but-”

“It’s perfect,” Tara reassured him. With a sigh, she leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Yeah.” He smiled down at her, running his hand lightly through her silky blond hair. “It’s no big deal, really. I’d do a lot more for you.”

When Tara looked up at him, tears shone in her ocean blue eyes. Tears he hadn’t understood at the time, mistaking them for happiness instead of sorrow. For affection instead of the dread of what was to come.

Leaning forward, she kissed him, so softly and sweetly he knew he’d remember that night forever. But like all the others they shared, it wasn’t long before the memory turned bittersweet.

~~~

Gar wakes up slowly. Why rush to return to his empty room and the aching hole in his chest? To the endless rain pouring down both outside his window and in his head?

But this morning is different. Today he awakens to cool jeans under his cheek and a gentle hand resting on his shoulder.

Gar’s eyes flutter open. No, he’s not still dreaming. He’s definitely lying with his head in someone’s lap. And when he cranes his neck to look, he can’t quite believe his eyes.

It’s Raven, of all people, who sleeps propped against the wall, head bowed and hair falling in front of her face, her hand resting on his shoulder. Her lips part slightly as she exhales quietly.

How does she do that? How does she find peace and control, the two things that have eluded Gar all his life? Especially now, when his world has shattered on the ground. He can’t imagine what the inside of his skull must look like right now. He doesn’t need to be an empath to know he’s a mess.

And yet Raven stayed. She pulled the pain from him, despite the havok it must have caused in her mind and the crick she’s totally going to have in her neck when she wakes up. She kept her promise.

Maybe he shouldn’t be so shocked. Maybe he should have a little more faith in his teammate. But honestly… Gar’d always thought Raven didn’t like him. That she only tolerated his presence. It’s why he can’t quite wrap his mind around it now that her actions say differently.

She could have decided to wait out the storm, could have let him push her away like the rest of the Titans. But instead she went miles out of her way to meet him in the dark hole he dug for himself.

When Gar closes his eyes, he can picture how she pulled his grief into herself, face creased in concentration. He can picture the single tear that rolled down her cheek, the first time he’s ever seen her cry. She hurt herself to help him. Why, he has no clue. It’s crazy. He’s lying with his head in her lap, for goodness sake!

I’ve gotta be a real mess if she’s letting me get this close. It’s all he can think of, that he looks so torn apart that she’s taking pity on him. Whatever the reason, he’s grateful.

“Rae.” She doesn’t stir. “It’s morning, sleepy-head.” Gar can’t help smirking. “And I think this is the first time I’ve ever been awake before you.”

“It’ll probably be the last,” Raven mumbles, still half asleep but falling easily into the familiar pattern of their banter. She pulls away from the wall, straightens, and immediately winces. Yup. Crick in the neck. Blinking against the light from the window, her careful gaze scans Gar’s face. Searching for the cracks.

“Are you okay?”

The world roars back to life around Garfield, the pictures and memories he’s desperate to forget flooding in.

“No.” He closes his eyes.

Raven lifts her hand from his shoulder. A pang shoots through Gar’s chest. Time’s up. She’s going to leave now, but he really shouldn’t be surprised. He is surprised she stayed this long though, that she answered a request he had no right to make. What was he thinking, anyway, asking the team empath to keep his chaotic mind company?

Gar’s about to sit up and let her go, and he knows she’s thinking the same thing, when he senses her hesitate. And instead of pushing his head from her lap, she pushes his hair back from his face.

As her cool fingers brush his forehead, Gar means to hold still, to listen to the part of him that’s afraid moving will make her stop. But the other side of him is so much stronger. It’s the part that needs to be reassured and held no matter who’s giving it, the part that’s been touch-starved by the hours locked alone in his room.

So Gar forgets who’s reassuring him and curls into it, seeking out more touch, more comfort. He presses his forehead into Raven’s side, letting her crisp cold wash away the muggy heat of his room.

Until he realizes what he’s doing. Never, in a million years, would Raven let him get this close. He’s totally making her uncomfortable.

You screwed up, you screwed, now she’s definitely going to leave.

But Raven doesn’t push him away. She stiffens, yeah, and she hesitates. Then she continues to stroke his hair. Her movements are awkward and unpracticed (he knows this is way outside her comfort zone), but there’s genuine care behind them. Gar tries not to purr when her fingernails scratch against his scalp in a way all the animal in him likes.

But it only takes a few seconds for reality to set in. Gar can’t ignore it any longer. Raven might be willing to stay and keep him company, but she can’t.

She has to go meditate so she can recharge. She’s told the team over and over that it’s not optional, and despite her incredible mental strength, Gar can feel the strain seeping in. The struggle to keep her mind level and calm after last night’s onslaught of emotions reflects in the tight control of her movements. She has to leave, and he can’t ask her to come back. Not after how much she’s given of herself just to be here.

Not when he isn’t sure if he’s even worth the effort.

“You should probably go.” Gar rolls off her lap.

Raven watches him for a moment, surprise altering her neutral expression and lifting her eyebrows a fraction. Does she think he doesn’t know how much of a toll her powers take on her? Maybe not. He doesn’t exactly act like he’s paying attention most of the time.

Raven’s mask falls back into place and she nods, rising from the bed. Gar looks away as she walks toward the door, unable to watch her go but too scared to admit he doesn’t want to be alone. Too ashamed to ask her to send Vic in. He’d never look at Gar the same way after seeing him like this.

Garfield hears the door swing open, but it doesn’t shut. He glances over to see Raven standing with her hand on the doorknob and studying him. Her eyes soften when he meets them, just the smallest bit.

“You’re not alone, Gar.”

Then she’s gone.

Gar stares at the closed door. You’re not alone. Just like he told her so long ago, back when they were still kids. Before their lives got so complicated and tragic.

What did he know then?

~~~

Garfield stays in his room all day. Despite the stubborn pessimist that she is, Raven hoped he’d reach out if given a little more time and space. That he would let his friends and teammates help instead of locking them out.

Apparently, she should have stuck with pessimism.

Raven has been reading the same line over and over when Victor flops onto the other end of the couch. She doesn’t need to ask where he was.

“This won’t last forever.” She lowers her book to give Victor her best attempt at an encouraging and understanding expression. “He’ll come around.”

Vic doesn’t even look at her. The frustration in his voice isn’t quite able to mask the pain. “You sure?”

Raven doesn’t have an answer.

~~~

It’s not her place and maybe it won’t change anything, but by the time night falls she can’t stand by any longer. If he won’t come out, then she’ll come to him.

Raven steps into Garfield’s room, edging around the pile of dirty laundry. “Victor misses you.”

They all do.

He’s lying in the same position as last time, on his side with his back to the door. Watching the rain that never seems to end. “I think I’ve figured it out.”

Though he can’t see her do it, Raven lifts an eyebrow. “Figured what out?”

“Why you like to be alone. Why you like the quiet. It numbs the pain doesn’t it? Calms the storm inside.” He crosses his arms and pulls his knees to his chest. “It makes it easier not to care. It’s safer that way, isn’t it?

Raven’s skin goes cold. But this time, it’s not because of her powers. It’s fear for Garfield and the way he’s talking. “This isn’t about me. And everything you just said? That’s not you.”

Gar rolls onto his back, cloudy eyes drifting to her face. “I just wanted to say I get it now. I’m sorry I didn’t before.”

This is not a time to freeze up, or wonder why in the world Gar chose to talk to the one person in the tower who is least equipped to help him. This is not a time to wish she’d learned something other than control and magic from Azar, such as how to interact properly with others. No, this is a time for action. To do something, to say something to help her friend. And maybe it won’t help. But Victor’s words echo in her mind.

Will it hurt?

Gar blinks, jaw falling open as Raven kneels beside the bed and lays her head on her arms, tilting it sideways so that she can meet his wide green eyes from the same angle. She needs to be on his level. See things from his perspective, both literally and figuratively.

“Quiet keeps the pain from getting worse. Solitude protects others from the storm.” She shakes her head. “But neither makes it better.”

~~~

Gar has never been this close to Raven before. Even when his head was in her lap she was still “up there,” her face a good two feet away from his. There’s always been a distance between them, both physically and emotionally, one that he could never figure out how to cross.

But now they’re equal, literally seeing eye to eye. Maybe that’s why Gar finds traces of... of feeling on the face he’s always thought battled Cinderblock’s for the title of stoniest. Or maybe the traces were always there. Maybe he just didn’t understand them until now. That’s true of a lot of things, actually.

He never thought of Raven’s distance as protection, both for herself and for her friends. But betrayal and loss really change a guy’s perspective on the world. So does a walk in his teammate’s shadowy shoes and even darker mind. Not that he’d ever tell her he could feel her emotions just as well as she could his when she used her powers to lessen the pain. She’d be mortified.

“I know it’s the last thing you want right now.”

Garfield’s attention flicks back to Rae, noticing the lavender color of her eyes as she speaks.

“But come downstairs. Please.” She drops her gaze, almost… embarrassed?

“Your friends miss you. They need you.”

Need… him? Gar can’t recall anyone ever saying they needed him. During a mission, sure, “Beast Boy, we need you to turn into a dinosaur,” but that’s Beast Boy. No one has ever needed Garfield.

He lowers his ears. “You need me?”

“Yes. We’re not a team without you.”

We. She’s saying we now. And he thought she’d prefer the team without him. Guess I was wrong about a lot of things.

Raven’s voice drops, and Gar knows what she’s about to tell him is important.

“What you said before, about not caring… I’m not supposed to care. It was the one rule I made when I joined the Titans, to protect myself and the others.” She tenses her jaw. “If I didn’t care, there would be fewer emotions to keep under control. And it wouldn’t hurt when the team told me to leave after they found out what I really was.”

As if we’d ever let you leave.

“Yeah. I understand that now.” Gar swallows past the lump in his throat. “It’s pretty smart, even though we’d never do that to you.” If I hadn’t cared about Tara, then I wouldn’t be hurting like this. My heart wouldn’t be shattered on the ground.

“No.” Raven shakes her head, frustration seeping into her voice. “No, it isn’t. That’s not what I’m saying.”

Gar scrunches up his nose, baffled, and she sighs.

“I’m not explaining this right. Garfield…” Her expression softens, and the mask falls away from her face. Completely and entirely. And for the first time, Garfield sees Raven, really sees her. No walls. No sarcasm or deflection. Just Raven, real and complete.

“I do care,” she confesses. “About you, Koriand’r, Victor, and Richard.” She looks away. “I care a lot. When it comes to the team, I’ve found it’s impossible not to.” Her brow furrows. “That means I’m going to get hurt someday, one way or the other. Something terrible will happen, or someone will walk away from the team, and I’ll feel like the world is ending.”

Just like I do right now.

“But it’s a price I’m willing to pay for my friendships.”

Raven pauses. Then she speaks slowly, as if realizing how she truly feels for the first time. “They’re worth it.”

Garfield’s mind whirls, set afloat in a strange new dimension where Raven makes eloquent speeches and shares heartfelt secrets. Where she cares about even him.

“You don’t hate me.” To Gar’s complete embarrassment, his voice cracks and the waterworks start. “I-I really thought-”

Raven’s eyes widen in complete horror. “Hate you? No! You… actually thought that?”

“You told…” Gar can’t say her name, images of blood soaked bandages flashing before his eyes. His hands tremble as he clears his throat and forces himself to continue. “Y-you said you used to.”

Raven falls silent. He can almost see her working through her thoughts. He had no idea how much went on behind her blank expression.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Sometimes I’ve been annoyed or irritated by you, especially during the first year. But I’ve never hated you.” She blinks and glances away. “It’s, um… kind of impossible, actually.”

For a moment, Gar forgets that Raven is Queen of No-Hugs and throws his arms around her neck. But this alternate dimension just gets stranger when she awkwardly pats him on the back in return.

Outside, the skies open up with a loud crash as the storm that the constant rain’s been threatening to bring all week finally breaks. Raindrops pound against the window in a steady rhythm while low thunder rumbles in the background. It sounds good. It feels like a release.

“I’m not going to lie.”

Gar lets go and pulls back, watching Raven’s face as she exhales.

“It will be hard at first. You’ll feel like you’re faking it every time you do something that makes you happy. But the joy will come back.”

“How do you know?” I want to hope, Rae. I want to so badly.

“Because you’re Gar.” She says it with finality, like that’s her whole answer. No hard logic or practical attempts to convince him. Just faith that he’ll come out alright because of who he is. Faith in him. “You’re stronger than you know.”

“Okay.” Garfield watches relief flood her eyes. She… she really was worried about him. “I’ll try.”

Five minutes later, Gar slips into the living room behind Raven, feeling oddly shy and self-conscious in his own home. But that only lasts the few seconds it takes for Kori to spot him.

“Garfield!” She flies straight at him like a rocket, stopping only inches short of running into him. Her eyes shine with unshed tears and she stretches out her arms. “May I give you a hug, please?”

“Why not?” Gar shrugs, blinking to hide his own tears. For once, he doesn’t mind how bone-crushing all Starfire’s hugs are. It’s never felt so good to have someone so happy to see him again. He’s never missed his friends this much.

The sound of Kori’s excitement brings Victor rushing in, Dick close at his heels.

A relieved grin splits the cyborg’s face. “BB,” he says quietly, holding out his fist. His soft brown eyes search Garfield’s face, still lined with concern.

With a start, Gar realizes how much he scared him.

“Cy.” He taps Vic’s fist with his own. “I’m… I’m sorry, dude.”

Stepping forward, Vic wraps him in a bear hug. “Man, don’t you dare apologize.” Is that… a sniffle Gar hears? “I’ve missed you, buddy.”

“Yeah,” Gar whispers into his best friend’s sweatshirt. “Me too, bro.”

After Vic releases Gar, Dick steps forward and wraps an arm around his shoulder, pulling him into a brief but sincere hug. “Good to have you back, Gar. Whatever you need, just ask. We’re behind you no matter what.”

Gar’s heart still throbs. The pain is still there. He has a feeling it will be for a long time. But as his gaze drifts from friend to friend, from teammate to teammate, he knows he’ll be okay.

His eyes land on Raven. The slightest corner of her mouth turns up and she nods, reminding him that he’s not alone. He never has been.

(Chapter 1) (Chapter 2)

(Previous fic in series: Slow dancing in the Darkness)

(Next fic in series: The Sound of the Sword)

#just use the link to read the first chapter and the previous fic in the series #bbrae #beast boy #raven #garfield logan #teen titans #teen titans animated #teen titans animated series #mine #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #writing #hurt/comfort

20 notes · View notes

ghost-in-the-stalls · 3 years

Text

Since the hiatus is over, I'm gonna rant a bit about Stand Still, Stay Silent and how the author's take on her new religious views are impacting things.

So if you don't read that webcomic,sorry for this. I'll put it under a read more if it gets long (which it probably will).

So first of all, I'll clarify that these are my views and I know this is a HEATED thing rn and I'll basically just say I'll be willing to like... debate about it with anyone who wants to but I also personally reserve the right to turn off anon/block you if you get nasty with me or if it sounds like you aren't actually interested in hearing what I'm saying so much as spreading your own beliefs around.

Secondly, I want people to understand that I personally am American. I am speaking from an American perspective. I understand that Minna is not American. I may be conflating our experiences in a way they cannot be. However, I also recognize that author intent and audience interpretation are two very different things. With this in mind, I also recognize and understand that intent is nothing when compared to impact. So though I may be speaking from an experience that may not be true at all for Minna, I also recognize that my feelings and perspectives are valid as an American audience member. Something being written by a Finn does not negate the fact that it is available to read regardless of geographic location, and that it's impact will ultimately reach further than just her own bubble. So this post is me speaking about impact on myself as an American audience member, not intent on her part.

First I'll say that the bunny comic - Lovely People - is, in my opinion, objectively in poor quality and taste. Not even taking into account my own views on religion yet. It was very tone deaf about the history of Christianity and oppression and completely ignored how Western Christianity plays a major part in a lot of modern oppression and social problems that the comic tries to address. The pseudo-apocalyptic theme of the social credit system had the potential to be a very interesting and thought provoking direction! Social media has fucked with our society and our mental health in a way that we really need to address!

However, the comic made the Christians the only group we see experiencing oppression from this system in the story. This effectively does two things in tandem. One, it fails to address just how negative of an impact the social credit system would have on us all. Looking around at our way of interacting with the world now, we're still almost all of us suffering for the way things are. We have incredibly high social anxiety, people are encouraged from a young age to conform aggressively to beauty standards and share all their personal details online, and - most notably to my next argument - anywhere an individual lacks privilege is exploited by our society and they are put under a microscope, and are ultimately aggressively punished for being part of a marginalized group. Not born with the physical traits considered acceptable by Western standards of beauty? Tough luck. Not physically or mentally able to participate in the current system in place? Tough luck. Not willing to conform to strict gender roles? Identify as a marginalized gender or sexuality? Not willing to be quiet and secretive about it? Tough fucking luck. But the ONLY group that is shown to be oppressed at ALL in the bunny comic is Christians.

What makes this even more tone deaf is that, Two, it is thus completely blind to how Western Christianity has played a direct and aggressive role in supporting the oppression of these other group in our current fucked up system. I'm NOT saying Christianity is evil or that anyone who practices the faith is bad. Not at all. Religion is, at it's core, a beautiful thing. But the fact stands that MANY people in positions of power have used their Christian beliefs as a tool to oppress others. In America especially (yes I'm speaking as an American and I acknowledge that) Christianity is THE mask used by the far-right and the oppressors to spread their ideologies. Even white supremicists and nationalists ultimately will try to argue that white people and the US are God's Chosen Ones which is why they're TOTALLY RIGHT in doing the terribly things they do.

Making a comic about how a social credit system causes oppression and then showing that oppression as EXCLUSIVELY happening to Christians is not only in EXTREMELY poor taste, it is directly harmful. It is the same message and behavior that a lot of Christians use constantly to gaslight marginalized groups that they are against. "Oh I'm oppressing you? No actually I'M oppressed because I'M CHRISTIAN and you just can't handle the fact that you're going to hell for not repenting for existing!"

Even if those are your true beliefs. Even if you genuinely think that Christians are oppressed and that anyone arguing against you is refusing to repent. Does spreading information in that way really seem effective to you? Does it really seem loving and caring to you? To sit there and talk about how others are always hurting you, but you aren't hurting anyone else at all by telling them they're going to hell for being?

I'm digressing. But my point here is that the comic is in incredibly poor taste, and I genuinely will never understand why people expect non-Christians to take the message of "you're going to hell if you don't conform to my beliefs and also I'm oppressed" positively.

Moving on to Stand Still, Stay Silent...

She has said several times that she does not intend to change the path SSSS has been on from the beginning. This is honestly not comforting whatsoever.

First, this is definitely because - even before the recent developments - SSSS was always very shallow imo. I loved it! Don't get me wrong! But a major part of that love was because I genuinely thought it was building up to something bigger; I thought it was eventually going to go deeper. I now understand that that was never the case. It's a shallow story with a lot of potential that I don't think was ever going to get fully explored.

Now here's the thing. Part of me is really upset about that. What I thought the story was going to be I now see will never happen. But a bigger part of me is frankly happy about that now. Because, like I said up top, intent and impact are very different. If she were to suddenly go unexpectedly deeper than the story has been, I wouldn't trust that there wouldn't be shitty subtext and more of the same tone-deafness as the bunny comic. Whether intentional or not.

And even if she hadn't recently converted to Christianity. The fact that she is someone who is susceptible to these ideas and values tells me what kind of a person she really is anyway, regardless of religious identity. Which, frankly, would mean the subtext would still be shitty. I don't trust it. I don't trust her.

So frankly, people have every right to be suspicious of how SSSS may be impacted going forward. She can say that it won't be all she wants. But either the story will go deeper - like I had always hoped it would - and there would inevitably be an inseparable link between her values and beliefs and the themes of the story, OR the story will never go deeper at all which would mean imo that it would ultimately fall flat as a story.

People are allowed to be disappointed by this. People are allowed to be suspect of how she may potential work harmful themes into the comic going forward - whether intentionally or not. I'm allowed to be wary of this, especially as someone who has had VERY bad experiences with Christians who have tried to tell me the same things she made clear in her bunny comic.

#ssss #stand still stay silent #lovely people #minna sundberg #yes im tagging this #and ill probably regret it later #but damn i needed to get this off my chest #i needed to get this out there bc i NEED people to understand why i #and so many others #are upset by this

115 notes · View notes

nonstoplover · 3 years

Text

accidental reunion ~ joe liebgott (band of brothers)

my masterlist | my hbo war masterlist

pairing: joe liebgott x female reader

short summary: they met in Austria on V-J Day, it was just one night, they still can't forget the other

words: 2.4K

a/n: not gonna say much just that i'd do anything for joe liebgott, even if it includes giving up my whole life

taglist: @how-are-those-nuts-sarge @50svibes @pennyllanne @liebgotttme @nowinnablewar

One fun night on one of Easy's last nights in Austria. With lots of drinks, games, and the company of residents of the small village that was Kaprun who were willing to spend some celebratory time now that the war was actually, finally over.

It was undoubtedly one of the best nights the soldiers had in the past couple years - at least for Liebgott it definitely was. He accidentally bumped into a girl about his age in the small pub when on his way to get a new round of alcohol and then spent the rest of the night with her.

They never shared full names or addresses with each other, all they got to know were mentions of small things dropped by accident. Now Joe's back in San Francisco, back to life in peace and he can't get the girl out of his head. There's nothing he regrets more than not asking for only these basic pieces of information. He let the possibly only good thing that war gave him slip through his fingers.

There's not a day he doesn't think of her. He sees the sparkle of her eyes in the street lights, the colour of her hair in the polychrome autumn leaves, hears her giggle in a random girl's voice on the street that makes him do a hopeful double take only to be left disappointed a moment later. When he's in a pub on a night out, the swirling booze in his glass reminds him of her and that one night they got to spend together. When a young woman gets in his cab with hair similar to hers, his heart always skips a beat as he looks back over his shoulder with sudden high hopes, his eyes always connecting with a pair of orbs that are clearly not hers.

He doesn't even know why he feels this way - he truly doesn't know her after all. Still, it's like in a matter of only a couple hours a connection has been created, one that's about impossible to break. If he believed in soulmates, maybe he'd say that it is just that. But he doesn't.

So he just lets the days pass with the occasional but somehow still almost constant thoughts of the girl. Every other week or when he just has the next day off, he might try to forget about her, find some inner peace with another woman, even though he knows that the next morning he'll wake up with her first name on the tip of his tongue just the same.

(y/n), on the other side of the planet tries to go on with her life after the war - she truly does. But still, it feels like there's nothing left for her in Austria anymore. Everything's changed. The village, the people living there, even her own perspective and thoughts on life has changed. Enough to help her make the decision of moving to the United States.

To her family she says it's only because of the seemingly endless opportunities there, in the process trying to convince even herself that it's not because of the fluffy brown haired paratrooper she met on the night of V-J Day.

Of course it's not because of him, all she knows about the young man is that his first name is Joe, that his fellow soldiers called him Lieb or something like that once or twice throughout the night, that he wanted to be a cab driver back in America, and that he was from San Francisco. It's nowhere enough information to give up her whole life and start a completely new one on the opposite side of the world.

Still, somehow it is enough for her, and it also gives her a starting point when six months after they first - and by far last - met she appears in the enormous American city all by herself, all her life packed up in two suitcases she drags behind herself, heart beating frantically as she eyes the buildings and hears the unimaginable street noise around her. To say she's anxious is an understatement - hell, she doesn't even speak English that good.

After the first and most important things are settled - a place to live in, a job to earn money with -, she's unable to stop herself and flips the telephone book up and calls a few of the cab companies around the city, trying to ask about him. But seemingly there are too many Joe's around who are driving taxis, and after the fourth or fifth unsuccessful try that leaves her feeling all stupid and naive she gives up.

She tries hard to fit in, makes friends at work and with the two girls she's rented the room she's now living in from, spends every evening improving her knowledge of the language. The more time passes, the better she feels - and the more she feels like she belongs -, though the feeling of missing something from her life never goes away. The feeling of missing somebody, to be more precise.

About two months later one day she oversleeps and is in a hurry to get to work in time so she decides to catch a cab instead of her usual choice of travelling by public transport. Almost practically falling down to the seat as she scrambles inside, she's already saying the address whilst also trying hard to catch her breath - she can only hope the driver can understand her panting words.

She closes her eyes, pressing her palm to her forehead and focusing on slowing her heartbeat back down to normal. Only half a minute passes though before she leans back in her seat and lets her eyelids open again, and her glance subconsciously falls on the cab driver.

Silently examining his features from diagonally and behind she can't help but feel a weird feeling tingle in her chest, as if her whole existence has suddenly found something familiar. Her eyes move back up on his profile, on the elegant line of his nose and the way a strand of brown hair has delicately fallen in front of his forehead.

"Joe," the name she still hears in her sleep every night leaves her lips in an almost breathless, subconscious whisper.

Then the next moment his head whips around - so fast that she can't help but worry he'll have whiplash - and the oh so familiar eyes connect with hers.

"(y/n)?" Comes the equally disbelieving, quietly muttered answer from him.

He remembers her.

Suddenly all the frustration of leaving her home behind and moving across the world, all the frustration of trying to find him feels worth it. She's found him. Or has he found her? It was most likely fate bringing the two back together, giving them one last chance to see what they would do.

"What are you doing here?" Joe exclaims excitedly, his glance moving back and forth frantically between the road in front of him and her face.

"I moved here," (y/n) shrugs.

"You what?"

She only giggles in response to his reaction - she's too overwhelmed with happiness to actually say something.

"It's good to see you," he admits, mentally adding that it's not only good, more like the best thing that has ever happened to him. He knows he can't just attack her like that, she probably didn't move here because of him anyway so he keeps his mouth shut to keep these thougths in.

"You too," she beams at him in the rear-view mirror before quietly adding one more thought, mainly to herself. "By now I thought I'll never find you."

And just like that the previous thought almost fully disappears from his mind, his breath hitching in his throat. "You tried to find me?" Joe asks with a smug grin on his face, one that's supposed to hide the swirl of his true and not at all like him emotions.

"Well, yeah, of course," the girl shrugs sheepishly, earning a joyous hum from him as a wordless reply.

For a couple long seconds they stay in silence, both of them deep in their thoughts as their minds try to process the sudden emergence of the other. Some previously never felt tension rises slowly in the air of the car, suddenly neither knows what to say or what to do. What they've been dreaming about for more than half a year now has just come true - and they weren't ready for it.

"Where're you going?" Joe speaks up again to break the quiet. "I mean, why are going there, 'cause I know where you're going."

This earns him a mental slaps from himself for behaving so stupid. What is he doing? Why is he like this? Where's his usual confident cockiness?

"Work."

Maybe it was worth it, coming here just to see him again, but there's no guarantee that he hasn't found someone else by now - even if he does remember her - or that he would even want to see her again after today. Doubt reappears in her mind, keeping her from speaking her mind and ask him about all the things she's been dying to ask him ever since that night back in Austria.

"When did you arrive here?"

"Two months ago."

"Sorry if I'm asking too much, I'll stop," Joe glances at her in the mirror, taking her reserved, short answers wrong, thinking that she just doesn't want to talk with him.

"No, no, it's fine!" (y/n)'s quick to reassure, eyes opened wide. "I should be the one apologising for not answering more or asking back. I'm just- ugh, I don't know. I've been thinking about this moment for so long that now I'm scared it's just a dream again. I don't want to get too empathized in case I'll only wake up in my bed again."

"This is real life, I swear," Joe chuckles - her words have managed to calm him down again. He lets go of the steering wheel with one hand and reaches back above the car seat - nothing but a simple signal towards her.

Mindlessly holding back her breath she raises a hand of her own and lets her skin bump into his for a short moment before daringly fully wrapping her fingers around his. An immediate smile takes over his features as he loosens into her touch.

"See? It's not a dream," he grins to himself, thumb moving over the back of her hand in soft small caresses.

"I'm glad it isn't," (y/n) giggles and Joe lets out a chuckle himself.

Before they could truly let go and enjoy the drive to the fullest, he pulls over outside a building that (y/n) realises as her work place when finally looking out the window.

Swiftly letting go of his hand she starts rummaging through her reticule to find her purse. When she pulls out the proper banknotes and tries to push them in his palm, he just shakes his head and moves his hand back to the steering wheel.

"You don't have to," he shrugs. "Take it as a welcome in San Francisco gift."

"Thank you," she mumbles with flushing cheeks before collecting her things and moving to get out of the cab.

She closes the door already when the sudden realisation hits her - she still doesn't know either his full name or his address, or anything for real.

Her hand rises almost on its own and her knuckles rap a fast rhythm against the glass next to the front seat. Joe's eyes are already on her as he scoots closer to roll down the window.

"I just wondered if I could have your phone number," she blurts out before she could think twice leaning down so her head pops back into the car.

With a raise of an eyebrow and a teasing smirk sitting upon his lips he nods in acknowledgement. "For the better part of this past minute I've been trying to find the courage to ask for your number."

(y/n) can feel the blood rush to her cheeks as she realises how truly straight-forward she's acted, but before she can raise a hand to hide her face in utter embarrassment, Joe starts moving around inside the car, and only a second or two later he retrieves his hand with a pen in-between his fingers. With his free hand he reaches out to gently grab her wrist and pulls it fully inside, pushing the material of her coat and long-sleeved blouse up towards her elbow.

Then he scribbles something on her soft skin, hissing whenever the pen doesn't want to write and he has to press the point of it deeper into her arm even though he really wouldn't want to hurt her even the slightest bit.

"There you go," his glance moves back up to her face when he finishes, winking at her.

(y/n) bites back a giggle before straightening back up, pulling out of the cab fully.

"See you later, Joe," she smiles at him one last time before turning around and rushing inside the building - the pinkness of her cheeks and the not erasable, wide smile on her face being true proofs of her emotions.

Later, when she's finally at her desk, coat removed and body gently slumping into the chair, her eyes catch sight of the writing again and she finally takes a better look at it. There's a phone number, completed with a simple Joe Liebgott and a don't you dare not call me under it.

A soft giggle escapes (y/n)'s lungs as she reads the last line, shaking her head in happy disbelief whilst also wondering how he could write so much in such a short time and without her even noticing. She must've been too entranced by the sparkling of his eyes, the way that one strand of hair fell and bounced in the air and how he - probably subconsciously - stuck the tip of his tongue out past his lips in concentration.

Then with a blissful sigh she lowers her arm again, eyes staring out of her head, looking at nothing in particular - instead picturing his face again inside her mind.

"Liebgott," she mutters to herself, tasting the name rolling down her tongue. She finally knows his name.

.::the end::.

my masterlist | my hbo war masterlist

[wanna be added to my taglist?]

128 notes · View notes

kindahoping4forever · 3 years

Text

Under The Christmas Lights // Ashton Irwin

Cass and I are having a blast so we hope everyone has been enjoying Hoe For The Hoe-lidays as much as we are. Her Cal blurb for the day, Baby Please Come Home, is up at @cal-puddies and it is one of my favorites from her, so you should definitely check it out if you haven’t already. (And as always, links to all of this week’s blurbs are in the event masterlist below!) Stay tuned tomorrow for our last set of blurbs and our grand finale on Monday: a galaxybrain co-write I guarantee you do not want to miss.

Extra thanks to Cass for helping me figure out what this story wanted to be. The overall concept remained but the structure, character details and tone of it took on a life of its own and morphed drastically as I was writing it.

Warnings: Established slow burn with Neighbor!Ash, mentions of quarantine, a healthy helping of thirst and sexual tension, implied consensual voyeurism and exhibitionism, mutual masturbation

Word Count: 4048

Hoe For The Hoe-lidays Masterlist

Masterlist // Taglist and Ko-Fi linked above

Let me know what you think!

"Quite the festive display you have there."

He stops at the end of his driveway, popping an earbud out as he turns towards your voice. Your next door neighbor, Ashton, stands in his yard, looking at you expectantly as you sit on your front porch, gesturing towards the freshly hung Christmas decorations all along his house.

"Oh thanks! I'm actually not even done. Waiting on a few more pieces to be delivered, really trying to merry things up, you know?" He answers, turning to collect today’s mail.

"Oh really? Everything's already so bright and eye-catching… up so early too," you punctuate your evaluation with a sip of coffee.

He smiles at you and you’re almost embarrassed to say you feel your heart skip a beat. You admit you had a bit of a crush on him when you moved in last year and for a while it seemed plausible you could’ve ended up more than just friendly neighbors. But that hope was yet another thing 2020 took from you.

Even though you were home more because of quarantine, you understandably had to interact with him less and less; gone were the days of “accidentally” baking too many cookies and walking over to offer him a plate or hoping your mail gets misdelivered so he’ll have an excuse to come visit you. These days, your visits were relegated to socially distanced greetings over the backyard fence and happenstance meetings like this.

“Yeah… I know it’s early in the season but I thought after the year we’ve all had, a little extra Christmas cheer couldn’t hurt,” he shrugs. He looks like he’s about to elaborate but then he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket; he apologetically but sincerely says, “Have a good night” and then scurries back to his house before you can get another word in.

It’s another couple of weeks before your next encounter, one night when you’re bringing the garbage can back up the drive and you hear Ash’s voice greeting you from his side of the fence.

“Those decorations certainly escalated, didn’t they?” You ask, amusedly peering up at his colorful house; the flickering icicle lights on the trim were a new addition, along with a big glowing snowflake and star sitting on his balcony.

“Does that mean you like it?” He laughs delightedly, walking up his own driveway. Your brain involuntarily appreciates how he looks with the lights reflecting off the dark wool trench coat he’s wearing; his hair is a lot longer than the last time you saw him, beard much darker and fuller. He looks good. You try not to think about it.

“Very pretty… not anything I would put up, but it suits you,” you comment, hoping your tone landed on the right side of the line between flirty and rude; you’re so out of practice at this, you’re not quite sure.

He takes it in stride. “That’s fair,” he chuckles. “No decorations for you this year?”

“Oh, I’ve got a wreath on my door,” you gesture. “May or may not get a tree. Little touches like that, things just for me; that feels appropriate but full on decorating this year… it just doesn’t feel right, doesn’t feel true to what we’re all experiencing.”

He furrows his brow. “Do you think my decorations are dishonest?” He asks, looking interested in your perspective.

“Not yours specifically, lots of people in the neighborhood are doing the same thing, some started even earlier than you did,” you carefully try to explain. “It just feels like surrounding ourselves with these crazy festive decorations… it’s like we’re working very hard to convince each other, maybe even ourselves, that this year isn’t any different when that couldn’t be farther from the truth… it is different and it feels weird not to acknowledge that.”

You look up, hoping you haven’t offended him, that you don’t see like too much of a grinch; you find yourself surprised at how relieved you feel when he nods thoughtfully as he considers your point of view.

“I actually agree, people are definitely using the decorations as a bit of a coping mechanism,” Ashton states, leaning on the fence as he ponders. “But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I know for me, after spending so much time being upset that I was trapped in my house this year, I figured I should do what I can to make my house feel happy for once. Especially if I’m gonna spend Christmas alone in it.”

You marvel at how despite the heavy turn the conversation has taken, his face never darkens, his warm and cheerful aura never falters. “Oh. I actually hadn’t thought of it like that,” you admit, playing with the drawstring of your hoodie, wondering why you care that you’re feeling vulnerable around him. “I’ll be alone this year too. I guess it just doesn’t feel like Christmas to me so I don’t like reminding myself that it is that time of year. If that makes sense.’

He gives you a sad but empathetic look. “I totally get it. I felt like that for most of the year… birthdays, seasons changing… I didn’t want to admit any of it was happening,” he shares. “But I don’t know… not to seem like I have it all figured out, but if we can’t change how we react to the environment we’re in, I think there’s something to be said for changing the environment itself. It’s important to acknowledge what you feel but also letting in even a little positivity can do wonders.”

You offer him a soft smile, letting him know you appreciate his encouragement. “Even just seeing the wreath on my door every morning is a nice moment,” you confess.

Ash smiles back and you feel warmer than if you’d gone inside and cozied up in front of your fireplace. “See? A couple strings of lights, a little tree. Maybe break out with that big yellow Minion you put out on your lawn when you moved in last Christmas,” he teases, lightening the mood.

“OK, first of all, it’s not a Minion, it’s Woodstock from the Peanuts, thank you,” you laugh, shaking your head. “I’m surprised you remember that.”

“Well, it was quite the first impression,” he shrugs and you can’t help but notice how broad his shoulders look in that coat.

You lay in bed that night, the night’s events on a loop in your mind; you ended up standing outside and chatting over the fence for more than an hour. It was nice and stirred a sense of normalcy in you that you hadn’t felt in a long time. It stirred other feelings in you as well but you knew there wasn’t any sense in dwelling on that since it’d be a long time before either of you would be able to do anything about that.

A few days later, you hear a muffled murmur that sounds a lot like your name while you’re washing dishes; you look out the kitchen window to see Ashton waving at you from his patio. He’s shirtless and sweaty, having clearly just finished his afternoon yoga session. Not that you had taken to timing your kitchen chores to coincide with his workouts.

You signal to him to give you a minute and then you head out the backdoor to chat. “What’s up?” You say as casually as possible, willing yourself to keep your eyes trained on his face and not the sweat dripping over his defined muscles or how low his athletic shorts are hanging.

“Your house is looking nice,” he gestures at the colored lights you recently hung around your window frames. “Little touches, just for you, like you said. I like it.”

You beam at him, impressed that he remembered your words from the other night. “You were right, I do feel a bit brighter having put those up,” you share, stuffing your hands in your hoodie pocket to keep from fidgeting, thinking about how much you’d like to brush the curls out of his eyes.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he replies jovially. “I actually have something for you.” He gestures for you to back up as he ducks inside his backdoor, retrieving the package off his kitchen table; he walks back out and smiles when he sees you’ve also turned around so he can surprise you. He sets the box over the fence and returns to his patio; he waits a beat longer than necessary to give you the all clear, he had to give himself a second to appreciate your ass in those leggings.

You spin around and see a box containing an inflatable light up Minion wearing a Santa hat. “Are you kidding me?!” You burst out laughing, picking up the gift to inspect.

“Figured Woodstock could use a buddy,” he laughs, shrugging. “Ordered it when I came inside after our talk the other night, just in case you changed your mind about decorating.”

You feel yourself blush. “Wish I could offer you more than a smile and a thank you,” you blurt, before realizing how forward that sounded. “I mean, like a hug or dinner or something…” You laugh nervously and look to see him trying and failing to hold back a devilish smirk.

“Well. When the time is right, I’d love to take you up on that offer… for the hug or the something,” he flirts.

The next day, you make Christmas cookies and leave some in his mailbox when he goes for his morning run. When he comes to tape a thank you note to your front door, he catches a glimpse of you through the window, decorating the tabletop Christmas tree you bought for yourself and you share a nice moment.

You gave him your phone number that time pre-lockdown when he went out of town and you watered his lemon tree; he finally starts using it, texting you on and off throughout the day and it’s nice to feel like you finally have someone to share with.

It’s when you’re in bed at night, texting away, that you always wish you could share even more with him. Your phone says he’s typing a response and you turn over to stare across the room at your bedroom window, the one facing his bedroom window. His curtains are drawn but you can see the soft glow of a bedside table lamp illuminating the room; you wonder what color the lamp is. Wonder if he sleeps on the left or right side of his bed. Wonder what he’s wearing while he’s typing his messages to you. If he’s wearing anything at all. Wonder if he wants to ask you the same thing. You lay there, wondering, until your phone buzzes again and the cycle continues.

You carry on like this for the next couple of weeks, collecting feelings and building tension. A few days before Christmas, you hurry outside to collect the packages that were just delivered by the mailbox, rushing to bring them in before the holiday Zoom party you have planned with friends.

You stop to text your pals you’ll be a few minutes late when you hear a sharp gasp behind you. You turn and see Ashton at the end of his driveway, eyes poring over you in the fitted green velvet wrap dress you’re wearing.

“You sure cleaned up for the mail delivery?” He jokes, trying to recover how clearly affected he is by the sight in front of him. You realize it’s the first time in months he’s seen you in anything besides hoodies and lounge pants.

You laugh, walking to the fence. “I have a Zoom party to attend but I didn’t want these boxes sitting out here all night,” you explain, instinctively starting to touch your face out of nervousness before stopping yourself for the sake of the dark red lipstick you have on; you’re not used to wearing makeup these days.

“Well… you look fuckin’ incredible,” he breathes, making no attempt to disguise the way his gaze is travelling up and down your body. He runs his hand through his hair and clears his throat, willing himself to move on. “I won’t keep you, then. I just wanted to ask you something.”

You lock eyes with him and feel your heart speed up; usually you’d have a quippy reply to shoot back to him but today, all you can think of is the heat you feel between the two of you. Instead, you nod attentively, trying your best to act like your mind isn’t distracting you with daydreams of walking around to his side of the fence and leaping into his arms.

“I know we’re both alone for the holidays… wish I’d thought of this sooner, so we could’ve done something about Christmas, actually… but say if we were to properly quarantine - you know, like, no outside contact at all quarantine - would you want to spend New Year’s together?” He’s speaking quickly, rushing it out as if he’s afraid he’ll lose his nerve and yet he presents his proposal with an assurance that almost hypnotizes you.

You can’t keep from grinning ear to ear but you still try to play it cool. “That could be fun,” you answer, grateful. You joke, “God, I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at a party for New Year’s, what do people even do to celebrate at home?”

Without missing a beat, he suggestively replies, “I’m sure we can think of something.”

You have fun with your friends on Zoom but in the back of your mind you can’t stop thinking about the way that Ash looked at you, the honest hunger in his eyes. You keep your curtains open much later than usual, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, wondering if the lights around the window will catch his eye and he’ll stop to try and catch a glimpse of you.

New Year’s can’t get here fast enough as far as you’re concerned but time feels like it’s moving slower than ever. Christmas finally arrives and you wake up bright and early to Zoom your family to open the presents they sent you. Afterwards, you decide to give yourself the gift of going back to sleep; when you wake up a few hours later, you tidy up the living room, gathering the trash bags of torn wrapping paper and ribbons to take out to the garbage.

You step outside and note Ashton isn’t on his patio like he is most mornings; you’re just about to head back inside when you hear a warm “Merry Christmas” from over the fence.

You turn to see him wearing a smile brighter than his extravagant Christmas lights display and yours combined. “How’s your morning?” He asks earnestly.

You smile back. “It’s good! Slept in a little, Zoomed with the fam. Lowkey but nice.”

“Ohhh. That’s why you weren’t at the window this morning,” he muses. You look at him quizzically and a sheepish look washes over his face. “I’ve maybe noticed that you seem to like tidying up the kitchen around the same time every morning… maybe sometimes when I’m ready to start my stretches, I’ll check to see if you’re at the window yet. Maybe sometimes if you aren’t there yet, I’ll wait.”

You feel yourself flush, flattered. “Here I thought I was being voyeuristic when all along you’re just an exhibitionist,” you smirk.

He chuckles knowingly. "And you're leaving your curtains open all hours of the night for aesthetic reasons?"

You're surprised you don't feel embarrassment, just a sense of pride and overwhelming desire. "You're welcome," you say coyly.

Completely devoid of self-consciousness or hesitation, Ash says seriously, "I'd give anything to come over there and kiss you right now. Touch you. Just feel you."

Your breath catches but you manage to get out, "Six days. Just gotta get through this week. Somehow."

The interaction plays over and over in your mind throughout the course of the day: the confident way he told you he wanted you, the way his gaze seemed to devour you entirely, the simultaneous relief and ache you felt knowing that the yearning that’s been threatening to overtake you has him floundering too.

Six days is a long time, especially when you’ve not so much as grazed another person since the beginning of the year, not to mention you’ve been waiting to get to this place with Ash for over a year.

The idea enters your mind while you’re cleaning up your dinner dishes, peering out the kitchen window he’d freely admitted to using to perform for you. You slip out to the garage, finding the box with your usual Christmas decorations much more easily than you expected. You glance at his living room window, ensuring he’s occupied before heading up to your bedroom to set your plan in motion.

You add as many strings of lights to your bedroom window as you can fit: colored ones, white ones, blinking ones, the ones that get slowly brighter and then dim back down. You stand back and nod to yourself, pleased with your work. You’d certainly call this eye-catching.

You feel more excited than nervous when you see it’s already around the time that Ashton usually heads upstairs for the night. You see the light in his room go on and you wait impatiently, just long enough for you to wonder if you didn’t go far enough with your display. You jump as your phone buzzes on your nightstand with a text message.

“Feeling extra festive tonight?”

You chew your lip, weighing how to play this. “Wanted to be sure I had your attention.”

He types for what feels like a lifetime but all he ends up responding with is: “Oh?”

You push yourself off your bed and go stand in front of your window, responding, “I think I’ve figured out how we get through the next week.”

You see him through his window, shirtless and in his boxers, laying on the bed with his phone. He reads your message and runs his hand over his beard, lost in thought; his head turns towards the direction of your house, pondering, when he notices your illuminated figure. You see him sit straight up and stare in disbelief as it dawns on him that you’re standing at the window, dressed in a lace lingerie set that has him almost feeling dizzy from how fast the blood is rushing to his cock.

He walks over to his own window, needing a closer look; he groans as he takes in every detail: how the red color of the bra and panties contrasts against your skin, how the black lace trim accentuates your curves, how the strappy detailing of the underwear present you as a Christmas gift meant just for him to unwrap. The lights around your window cast a glow around you, making you look like even more of a holiday fever dream come to life.

His eyes meet yours and you hold his gaze as you run your hands slowly down your body; you start by trailing down your neck to the straps of your bra, tracing along the lace outline with your fingers. You give your breasts a firm squeeze as you run your palms over the cups, stopping to use your thumbnail to tease your nipples until they poke through the thin material. Your fingers dance down your torso, swirling around the lines of your belly, pulling at the waistband of your bottoms. You tauntingly skip over your hips entirely, moving to caress your thighs.

Your phone buzzes again and you pause your show to reach for it. “Wish it were me,” Ash’s confession reads.

“In my mind, it is,” you reply, sitting your phone aside to dip into your panties. You lick your lips, in awe of how aroused you are, how aroused you’ve been since you decided to create this situation.

Ashton gulps and if he wasn’t so blinded by lust, he would’ve laughed at how audible the sound was in his ears. He wants to text you back, wants you to know how he’s dying for this week to pass so he can ravish you with the attention you deserve, the attention he should’ve given you a long time ago. But he also doesn’t want your hand to stop moving inside your underwear, so he waits.

You spread your wetness around, teasing yourself slowly. You considered bringing your bullet vibe to the window with you but you figured you were going to be overwhelmed enough and you weren’t going to need any help getting off. You close your eyes as you trace around your clit, not allowing yourself to put much pressure on it just yet, not willing to risk having this be over too soon.

He sees you throw your head back in pleasure, eyes fluttering shut, lips swollen from sucking them between your teeth and he can’t take it anymore. He pulls his cock out through the hole in his boxers and starts stroking, exhaling in relief at how instantly good it feels; he spits in his hand to ease the friction at first but it only takes a few tugs for precum to start trickling from his tip. He groans and pumps faster, knowing this won’t take long.

You press a fingertip inside yourself and moan a lot louder than you expected; you open your eyes and notice his stare remains unwaveringly focused on you, only now his hand is working his cock. He moves rapidly up and down his shaft, seemingly unconcerned with taking it slow. Part of you wishes his movements would slow down so you could get a better look at his dick but you also love that he’s seemingly so turned on by the thought of having you that he needs immediate gratification.

He tries to keep up with you, matching you stroke for stroke as you continue working yourself up, hand speeding up inside your panties, hand pawing at your clothed breast. His rough grip catches on one of the veins running down his cock and he chokes out a strained curse; he notices your mouth keeps forming a perfect O shape as you react to your self pleasure and he lets out his own whimper as he imagines how heavenly your sounds must be.

“I can’t wait to hear you when I make you cum for me.” You softly whine as you read his latest text. You’re nearly there and your head is spinning at the deliberate nature of his words: “When” he makes you cum “for him.” You rub hard at your clit and feel that familiar burning ache building in your core. You swear your wetness increases tenfold as you feel the pulsing begin.

Ashton’s cock leaps in his hand as he witnesses your body tense and shake as your orgasm washes over you; he notices your lips murmuring something and the thought enters his mind that you could be saying his name. He hopes you are.

You’re still waiting for your heart rate to settle, realizing there’s no way it will as long as you’re watching Ash pull at his cock like that. One hand flies over his length, the other firmly clutching his balls; his hips start to move, fucking into his hand as he nears the edge. You’re captivated watching his abs tense, fluttering with intensity until suddenly they’re being coated with cum. The ropes streak his skin and you decide it’s too soon to text him to share how badly you want a taste.

He hangs his head in exhaustion, briefly ducking away from the window to grab a tissue off the dresser; he cleans himself off, tucks his cock back in his boxers and finally looks back up at you. You smile softly at each other, though you’re not sure of the tone; it’s not exactly shy and it’s not entirely wistful. Whatever it is, it’s nice. Hopeful? Satisfied. For now.

You text him, “It’s after midnight now. 5 days.”

You see him shaking his head, smiling as he types. “Still too far away. Same time tomorrow?”

You grin, shooting off your response before blowing him a kiss goodnight. “Still too far away. Meet you here after yoga tomorrow.”

————-

Taglist issues again so my apologies if you get notif’d more than once (or not at all)

@mymindwide @suchalonelysunflower @pxrxmoore @loveroflrh @ghostofmashton @sexgodashton @feliznavidaddycal

@castaway-cashton @ashtonlftv @cashtonasfuck @megz1985 @ashdork-irwin @angelicfluffs @findingliam-o @youngbloodchild @irwinsbetch @everyscarisahealingplace

@wiildflower-xxx @metalandboybands @realisticnotes @makeamovehemmings @golden166 @burstintocolor

@mfartzzz @babyoria @petunias-pet @youngblood199456 @notinthesameguey @seanna313 @zhangyixingxing1 @stardust-galaxies @zackoid

@lovelybonesetc @xsongxbirdx @justhereforcalum @ashtonangst

@laura66sos @calumrose @karajaynetoday @pilunb @jazzyangel242 @babylon-corgis @heyheyhaleyd @calmsweetcreature

@spicycal @talkfastromance4 @holystxne

@meetmedowntown @myloverboyash

@irwindoll @cheekysos @carrielfisher @lukedorkyhemmings @creampiecashton @lovelywordsblog

@trix-arent-for-kids @uh-huhh-honey @tobefalling @aladyofalbion @likehuhdude

@curlycalums @cxddlyash @reddesert-healourblues

@fedorable-killjoys @iamcalumswhore @i-like-5sos @Too-et-moi215

@photochic18 @kouska901 @Indermeow @dantord

#5sos smut #5 seconds of summer smut #Ashton irwin smut #Ashton irwin fic #holiday smut #Ashton smut #smut #kh4f fic #Under The Christmas Lights #Kindahoping4forever #cass and crystal present: hoe hours #cass and crystal present: hoe for the hoelidays #i literally just finished writing this and read it for the first time while formatting #hahahahaha what the fuck this fine #i have been EXHAUSTED the past couple days so i legit do not remember writing the last third of this and I am shocked maybe even scandalized #so that happened lmao #Feedback is appreciated #see you for more hoe-ing tomorrow clowns!

174 notes · View notes

imagine-your-love-story · 3 years

Note

Thank you for encouraging a safe space on Tumblr. It might seem like basic courtesy to leave people be, leave them their comfort and creative freedom, but apparently it's not. As someone who has very questionable self ship poly dynamics, it's.. nice not being scared of seeing "Don't interact if this- dont interact if that" and then in danger of harrassment.

Please keep spreading these vibes of comfort and love - you're a great person whom we need a lot more of in the world wide web

You're very welcome, lovely! :) :) :)

Hoo boy. I have...soooo many thoughts on like....ALL of this. And this post is gonna get LONG because I've opened the can of worms and I'm lettin' it all out :P

The amount of bullying and negativity I've seen in the selfshipping community lately is very painful and disappointing to watch. Tumblr and fandom has always been somewhat of a cesspool but I had hoped that selfshipping was a little better.

I'm not seeing a positive community on a large scale right now.

There are some people who are shining little stars out there of course! But there's more hate being spread around than I can stomach.

I've spent Y E A R S researching and unlearning and pushing back against the psychological and emotional effects of manipulative behaviors like: blame, guilt, shame, and harassment.

I absolutely 100000% believe you can speak to people civilly and state your reasons why you think their behavior is damaging. Without telling them, "You are wrong. You are a bad person." Or otherwise making them feel shitty about themselves.

And I also believe that you CAN allow that person to say, "I don't agree with what you're saying" and you can still have normal interactions with that person without immediately shunning them and labeling them as a terrible person.

People BLOSSOM when they are showered in love, acceptance, and understanding. People are MUCH more willing to listen and heed what you have to say when you give them SPACE to see your point of view (or disagree with you and still accept them).

This culture on social media where people jump STRAIGHT to, "You're a HORRIBLE person because you do something I disagree with!" is, frankly, horrifying and a little disgusting.

Does this mean I condone negative and damaging behaviors?

No. Absolutely not.

But there seems to be this loss of perspective on what is considered "negative and damaging behaviors".

1. It's fiction. Fiction has NEVER been "clean". It's a place of freedom to discuss EVERYTHING.

2. You don't have to feel comfortable with everything being discussed in fiction. I'm not. If I don't like a self-shipper's content because it hits some trigger buttons for me...I don't follow their blog. Because that's my boundary and I have every right to it.

Do I send them messages saying, "You're a toxic person!"

Nope.

Do I comment on their ship that they love and say, "This makes me uncomfortable!"

Nope.

It's not my business.

Also: it’s fiction and there are MUCH bigger problems that require my energy than whether or not I should correct someone’s fictional ship.

Go save the ocean.

Go save the rainforest.

Go save the planet you live and breath on.

Fiction should not be making you angry enough to send hate mail to someone else. Full stop. That should never ever be a priority.

3. Some people engage in selfshipping "negative behaviors" as a way to cope with their trauma. We have no idea what a person has been through and we have no right to tell them that they should stop what they're doing when we do not know where they are on their journey of healing.

It hurts my heart so, so much when I receive messages from selfshippers like you, dear anon, who are TERRIFIED to share their love stories with their characters because they're afraid of being labeled/attacked/harassed by the community.

That's the community letting you down. That should NOT be happening and I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, lovely.

The ENTIRE point of selfshipping was to ESCAPE the people who criticized for shipping yourself with a character that you love. The foundation of selfshipping is that ANYTHING is possible!!! You are limitless!!!

And now people are policing what you can do??? That's...that completely obliterates the point of selfshipping. That's WHY we escaped to our own community!

I don't know if this video is available outside of the U.S., but I highly recommend, the Crappy Childhood Fairy's Youtube video on Cancel Culture. It's a great listen when you're navigating the emotional turmoil of social media culture.

So, if you're still reading after ALL OF THAT :P here are some key points about this blog and my philosophy when it comes to selfshipping:

This blog will always be a judgment free zone

Of course I have opinions! Of course we may disagree on something! But I won't judge you for it. You're allowed to do your own thang! ;)

I will never have a DNI.

If I feel an interaction is crossing into territory that isn't appropriate or acceptable, I'll say so. And if that doesn't work, I'll block and report. But I will never have a DNI on this blog.

Yes, I am an adult. So if minors don't feel comfortable following my blog, it's okay if they don't! I understand!

But I don't have a problem talking with minors because they are human beings and they may need support. I worked in Youth Services at a library for over two years. I know sometimes kids just want someone to talk about cool books and movies with and I'm 100% down for that 24/7 :)

Because this blog is all-ages friendly, I will never post 18+ content because - just like IRL - I make sure that I am mindful of the people around me. I may post some suggestive content that is tagged, but I try not to get too explicit.

I also don’t really think a DNI is necessary for me personally. Of course if I feel threatened by someone, I won’t interact with that person. But if a shipper is into content that I don’t like???? I don’t feel the need to say, “I will never interact with you!” That’s....exhausting. Besides, there are plenty of other things we can chat about! :)

I will always share f/os.

I know some people don't like to share and that's their boundary they can draw if they want to (no shade here!), but I've found that if I don't share, it's a very lonely experience. So I always share and I’m happy to interact if we have the same f/o :)

DMs are always open if you need a shoulder to lean on

If you need to dump or vent or whatever, my DMs will always be open so you can chat! It can feel weird, and maybe you'll feel bad because you won't know what to say!!!

That's okay :)

Even if all you want to do is vent and never reply, I'm happy to listen and offer any words of encouragement and support you need to hear! :)

#asks #anonymous #penny chats #i hope that monster of a response was helpful! :P #edit: LOL i just watched my follower count PLUMMET after posting this #don't care #i said what i said #i'm gonna keep spreadin' love around!!! :D

22 notes · View notes

galaxitic · 3 years

Note

Bisexual lesbians.

Do you even fucking hear yourself? You cannot be a bisexual lesbian.

The literal, solid, continual definition of a lesbian is a female attracted explicitly and solely to other females. You cannot be a lesbian and also be attracted to men. You cannot be a lesbian and attracted to a phallus.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on this, so I suggest also viewing the link at the bottom of my response for additional information.

Before I explain why nothing you said is correct, I do ask that you’re willing to hear me out. I understand discourse can get heated and oftentimes people (myself included!) are hesitant to listen to the other side’s perspective out of...well, hubris. And especially considering the way this ask is phrased, I’m not really sure you’re interested in having a real discussion. But I’d really appreciate it if you took the time to read and browse through the link at the bottom!

Okay. With that out of the way, I’ll get right to it.

There are a lot of reasons someone could identify as a bisexual lesbian.

First of all, I’d like to bring up the Split Attraction Model (SAM for short). In short, it states that romantic attraction and sexual attraction can be experienced as two separate things. So, for example, an asexual person can be heteromantic, and therefore romantically interested in the opposite sex, despite not feeling sexual attraction toward the person.

The SAM could apply to someone who identifies as a bi lesbian. This would be a bisexual person who is homoromantic, and therefore only interested in dating those who are women or women-aligned people.

A bisexual lesbian could also be someone who is simply bisexual, but only interested in dating those women-aligned for various personal reasons. The person calling themselves a lesbian in this case makes things simpler and easier.

I’d also like to divert your attention to the history of the word lesbian. Lesbian, throughout history, has not always been used to mean “a female exclusively attracted to females.” All it means is someone woman-aligned who is interested in others who are woman-aligned. They could also be interested in those man-aligned as well, but that does not diminish their lesbianism. The word lesbian has included multispectrum identities for a long time.

Take an example of the word lesbian being used as an umbrella term for wlw. When you see two women or women-presenting people in a relationship together, what would most people categorize that as? A lesbian relationship. Do we know the sexualities of the two people in the couple? No. For all we know, both could be pansexual. One could be a biromantic asexual. Or maybe they’re both bisexuals! Who knows? Certainly not us by looking at them. But still, we say their relationship is lesbian. We use lesbian as an umbrella term, right there, regardless of the personal sexualities of those in the couple.

Look. In truth, a bisexual lesbian is just someone who resonates with both the terms bisexual and lesbian. You aren’t owed an explanation by anyone who identifies with both terms. They have their reasons, and they’re not obligated to give you a paragraph essay like this. I enjoy educating other people on this topic, even if they speak rudely to me about it like you did. Being kind makes a difference, even when opinions aren’t shared. There was no reason you couldn’t have asked me why my opinion is what it is, no swearing or rudeness or pretentiousness involved. Please, next time, consider asking with more tact. It’ll be much easier to suppress the urge to snap back at you.

Before I finish up and give you a source with someone who is much better at explaining this than I am, I’d also like to make you aware that that your ask is deeply transphobic. “You cannot be a lesbian and attracted to a phallus” is not only a statement that is horribly invalidating to transgender women, it’s downright factually incorrect. All over the internet and in real life, you can and will find lesbians in relationships with women who have biologically male genitals. I understand if your words weren’t intended to be transphobic, but please acknowledge how the sentiment is blatantly offensive.

If you took the time to read all of this, regardless if you’re the anon who sent this, thank you! It really makes me happy to know people are interested in learning.

TLDR: Here is your link!

https://bi-lesbian.carrd.co/#menu

There is tons of well-written and useful information on there on this topic. I highly suggest you check it out, no matter who you are.

#kylie’s asks!!#kylie’s anons!!#bi/pan lesbian discourse #bi lesbian #pan lesbian #discourse tw

51 notes · View notes

nashvilledreams · 4 years

Text

My Naya, my Snixxx, my Bee. I legitimately can not imagine this world without you.

7 years ago today, she and I were together in London when we found out about Cory. We were so far away, but I was so thankful that we had each other. A week ago today we were talking about running away to Hawaii. This doesn’t make sense. And I know it probably never will.

She was so independent and strong and the idea of her not being here is something I cannot comprehend. She was the single most quick-witted person I’ve ever met, with a steel-trap memory that could recall the most forgettable conversations from a decade ago verbatim. The amount of times she would memorize all of those crazy monologues on Glee the morning of and would never ever mess up during the scene… I mean, she was clearly more talented than the rest of us. She was the most talented person I’ve ever known. There is nothing she couldn’t do and I’m furious we won’t get to see more.

I’m thankful for all the ways in which she made me a better person. She taught me how to advocate for myself and to speak up for the things and people that were important to me, always. I’m thankful for the times I grew an ab muscle from laughing so hard at something she said. I’m thankful she became like family. I’m thankful that my dad happened to have met her weeks before I did and when I got Glee, he told me to “look out for a girl named Naya because she seemed nice.” Well dad, she was nice and she became one of my favorite people ever.

If you were fortunate enough to have known her, you’ll know that her most natural talent of all was being a mother. The way that she loved her boy, it was truly Naya at her most peaceful. I’m thankful that Naya got that beautiful little boy back on that boat. I’m thankful he will have a strong family around him to protect him and tell him about his incredible mom.

I just hope more than anything that her family is given the space and time to come to terms with this. For having such tiny body, Naya had such a gigantic presence, a void that will now be felt by all of us - those of us who knew her personally and the millions of you who loved her through your TVs. I love you, Bee.

My favorite duet partner. I love you. I miss you. I don’t have words right now, just lots of feelings. Rest In Peace Angel, and know that your family will never have to worry about anything.

We started out as the closest friends and then like all new things, we went through a bit of a rocky phase. However, we stuck by each other’s side and created the most beautiful friendship built out of love and understanding. The last I had the chance to see you in person, I had left oranges outside our home for you to take. I wanted to say hi through the window but my phone didn’t ring when you called (which it never does, f*cking T-Mobile), so instead you and Josey left two succulents on our doorstep as a thank you. I planted those succulents and I look at them everyday and think of you. I still listen to your EP on repeat because from the moment I heard it, it struck me and I always wished the world knew more of your voice. You sent me over 5 dozen SnapChat videos when you and Josey woke up in the morning and I kick myself that I didn’t save one of them. You always shared recipes and I admired your love for food. We vowed to spend every Easter together, even though Covid stole this last one from us. You are and always will be the strongest and most resilient human being I know, and I vowed to carry that with me as I continue to live my life.

You constantly taught me lessons about grief, about beauty and poise, about being strong, resilient and about not giving a fuck (but still somehow respectful). Yet, the utmost important lesson I learned most of all from you was being a consistent and loving friend. You were the first to check in, the first to ask questions, the first to listen..you cherished our friendship and I never took that for granted.

We never took photos together because we mutually hated taking pictures...our relationship meant more than proof. I have countless pictures of our babies playing, because we shared that kind of pride and joy. So I’m showing the world a photo of our little goof balls for you, because I know that meant more than anything and they remind me of you and I. I speak to you everyday because I know you’re still with me and even though I’m feeling greedy that we don’t get more time together, I cherish every moment we had and hold it close to my heart.

There are no words and yet so many things I want to say, I don't believe I'll ever be able to articulate exactly what I feel but... Naya, you were a ⚡️ force and everyone who got to be around you knew it and felt the light and joy you exuded when you walked into a room. You shined on stage and screen and radiated with love behind closed doors.

I was lucky enough to share so many laughs, martinis and secrets with you. I can not believe I took for granted that you'd always be here. Our friendship went in waves as life happens and we grow, so I will not look back and regret but know I love you and promise to help the legacy of your talent, humor, light and loyalty live on.

You are so loved. You deserved the world and we will make sure Josey and your family feel that everyday. I miss you already.

She was bold. She was outrageous. She was a LOT of fun.⁣

Naya made me laugh like no one else on that set. I always said it while we were working together and I’ve maintained it ever since. Her playful, wicked sense of humor never ceased to bring a smile to my face.⁣

She played by her own rules and was in a class of her own. She had a brashness about her that I couldn’t help but be enchanted by. I also always loved her voice, and savored every chance I got to hear her sing. I think she had more talent than we would have ever been able to see.⁣

I was constantly moved by the degree to which she took care of her family, and how she looked out for her friends. She showed up for me on numerous occasions where she didn’t have to, and I was always so grateful for her friendship then, as I certainly am now.⁣

And even as I sit here, struggling to comprehend, gutted beyond description- the very thought of her cracks me up and still brings a smile to my face. That was Naya’s gift. And it's a gift that will never go away. ⁣

Rest in peace you wild, hilarious, beautiful angel.

How can you convey all your love and respect for someone in one post? How can you summarize a decade of friendship and laughter with words alone? If you were friends with Naya Rivera, you simply can’t. Her brilliance and humor were unmatched. Her beauty and talent were otherworldly. She spoke truth to power with poise and fearlessness. She could turn a bad day into a great day with a single remark. She inspired and uplifted people without even trying. Being close to her was both a badge of honor and a suit of armor. Naya was truly one of a kind, and she always will be. 💔 Sending all my love to her wonderful family and her beautiful son.

Dear Naya,

I’m failing miserably to process this news. I always imagined old future senior moments where we would hear your infectious laughter down the hall knowing that our funny bone was in for a treat. To many people, myself included, you were the life of the party. Not only able to rock when fun was to be had after a long day but that shining friend that was always willing to listen, offer sympathy, perspective and at times, give much needed levity to any situation.

You were a beast on the show. I admired you as I watched you nail multi page monologues that you learned moments before and pour your heart into every performance with an energy that had that snicks special written all over it. Our deep conversations about life inbetween scenes are some of my favorite moments with you. Getting to hear about your hopes and dreams for the future and with Josey’s arrival, ‘Your greatest success’ I was so happy to see your dream turn into reality.

You deserved more. I’m so sorry but you deserved more. You gave life your all and I hope all the good that you have given to the world will be returned in abundance when you reunite with our brother in the heavenly skies. I’m so grateful for our memories. We will make sure to keep your legacy and spirit alive so Josey will grow up to know the incredible woman you were. Love you, Naya. You are already missed. Eternally.

-HSJ

Naya and I fell into stride with such ease, she was my first friend and ally on our show. In the pilot, our characters came and went with such swiftness. Our enthusiasm brimmed with all of the unknown. We tried to grasp what the other cast members must be feeling as we were working in such separate manners. We dared to dream. What if this show worked? Wouldn’t that be something? Something was brimming, it was palpable. And thank god it worked. Naya’s magnetic talent was going to be unleashed, we just didn’t know it yet. ⁣⁣

I’ve been revisiting Naya’s performances on our show and it has brought me great joy. To work with her was a gift. There was a great deal to absorb - her work ethic, her fearlessness, her talent - supreme. Naya had a laugh that would envelop you and hold you captive. She was mesmerizing. That twinkle in her eye, her luminous smile. Naya lead with truth, humor, wit. I loved her for all of these reasons. ⁣⁣

I loved her sense of curiosity and wanderlust. I was lucky enough to be her travel partner for some of my most favorite adventures. As I write this, I’m grinning with swelling memories of a spontenaous 36 hour excursion - one might even say diversion - to Paris. With Naya, everything was possible and would often simply unfold before us, almost magically.⁣⁣

On this particular jaunt, within ten minutes of checking into our hotel, we found ourselves strolling the halls of L'École des Beaux-Arts, sipping wine from paper cups with students showcasing their latest work. It was fantastic. We were united in our commitment to discovery. And there was always a list of cleverly curated ideas in Naya’s back pocket, should we need it. ⁣⁣

I cannot make sense of this tremendous loss. I will hold onto her and these memories for the rest of time, alongside our Glee family. Please hold space for her, her family, her beautiful boy. ⁣⁣

In absolute, loving memory.

Naya The world is at such a loss and I am truly heartbroken. I still remember the day I met you. You Walked straight up to me, grabbed me by the face and drug me around until I met every single person on set, introducing me as “new booty”. You were one of the first people who made me feel like family when others saw me as an outsider. I didn’t know then that you would become my family and that’s just who you were to everyone.. A Mother, Sister, Daughter and most of all a friend. Your massive heart and bright spark is what carried our entire show, when at times we all felt like giving up.

You always showed up for me when I needed some wisdom or was down and just needed someone to talk to. You took care of everyone around you in a way that was so warm and comforting and you sure knew how to throw a hell of a party!

I always admired your bravery and passion to fight for what’s right even when it seemed like you were up against the world. Your spirit is contagious and you continue to make everyone you have touched a better and stronger person by knowing you.

My favorite part of glee was getting to watch you perform and shine up close every day. You really were the pulse of that show. Anyone who was blessed enough to see and experience your raw talent knows it to be true. You’re one of the smartest and most gifted people I have ever met. There is no one like you and there never will be.

You have changed peoples lives all around the world and you continue to change mine forever. I will never forget your love and kindness. Thank you for sharing your spirit Angel.

I will miss you always. I Love you Naya

For the last 7 years the 13th of July has shattered our hearts beyond repair. There aren’t enough words to describe the pain we are feeling, we are truly heartbroken at the loss of @nayarivera .

Naya, Cory loved you so so much. He cherished your friendship more than you will ever know. From the laughs you shared, to the strength you gave him when he needed it the most. Cory truly adored you. He was in awe of your incredible talent, the way you gave everything you had to each performance; the slap in the auditorium was one of his favourite stories to share. You once said Cory was like a member of your family; you will always be a part of ours. We’ll carry you in our hearts forever. We miss you. Friends reunited for eternity.

We send all our love and strength to your beautiful boy, your family, friends and fans 💔🐻💔

493 notes · View notes

solacefruit · 3 years

Note

Re that post about ShadowClan; honestly I’ve been wondering a lot about your world building take on Brokenstar era ShadowClan! I never said anything because you can write whatever you want and I don’t want to accidentally come off as pressure but like

A lot of your lore about how the elders are the culture keepers and the sort of council of the clan, in every clan (tho their exact role and how they play into clan politics and what they do can vary)

It makes me think about how one of the first things Brokenstar did was remove elders from camp, eventually escalating to not feeding them at all and essentially treating them as worthless (and his downfall being that he didn’t care to actually pay attention to them because he thought they were useless, thus a resistance was able to form and help ThunderClan against Broken)

And Nightstar! Who was already an elder when he became leader! It would be super cool to hear about that in your verse, because I imagine it would go a bit deeper than a regular deputy becoming leader, since elders are such an important part of the clan.

I tend to imagine that ShadowClan actually is pretty open to others joining (mostly bc in canon Boulder and Russetfur weren’t clanborn) and outwordly act like they are aggressive and unwelcoming towards others, and don’t really announce that they accept others? But if a cat comes to them and has nowhere to go, and is willing to join and learn and work, they’ll let them.And I feel like ShadowClan are super close and loyal to each other, even by clan standards. They’re seen as the mean nasty cats but they always have each others backs.

That went into headcanon ramble but ahh basically I’d love to hear your thoughts on ShadowClan and the expansion of world building and lore !!

Imma tack on another question since this is already super long; do you think in TNP the journey cats would talk about and end up feeling close friendships by understanding each other’s clan cultures? Like not just the stereotypes that those outside the clan think but hearing what it’s like in each clan from a member of it, and then having this friend group that sort of mixes those and them having habits they can’t really express around their clan bc they would sound unloyal

((Anyway I love your writing and lore and everything !! Thank you for sharing it !))

Hello there! Oh my is this a long ask. I didn’t even realise tumblr let you send asks this long? I’ll put all of my response under a read-more to preserve people’s dash space.

Thank you very much for such a kind series of compliments! It’s lovely to know how much you’ve enjoyed my work--and how much you’re anticipating my future works. I hope they are worth the wait. And don’t worry about pressuring me--it’s really not possible. I write what I want to write, at my pace. Hearing people’s enthusiasm for my work is always lovely, of course, and I interpret asks like this as support, not pressure.

I think Brokenstar had the capacity to be very interesting (hence why I wrote a story about him) and I thought his treatment of the elders actually showed some political savvy, just like his deposition of the clan’s medicine cats. He worked to undermine and isolate the cats whose authority could rival his own, which--when your goal is total control--is actually not a bad move. It did backfire on him eventually, but only because of Thunderclan’s involvement.

I won’t comment on your Shadowclan headcanons, because (as I’ve said before) I don’t like to talk too much about lore outside of my stories, but I sincerely hope you’ll enjoy whatever next Shadowclan story I put forward. I’m working on something at the moment that I get the feeling you might really like--but we’ll see! You can tell me when you read if I was right about that.

Although, you said “outwardly act like they are aggressive and unwelcoming towards [non-clan cats], and don’t really announce that they accept [non-clan cats]?” and I want to pose a little rhetorical question for you: how would they keep something like that a secret from the other clans, when every moon they attend the gatherings, and every clan announces their kittens and new apprentices? Seems like a difficult subterfuge to manage.

As for your question regarding the New Prophecies--I honestly haven’t thought about it much. My favourite and truest love of Warriors is the old territories, and while I’ll grudgingly accept that those are now gone and will not come back, my preference is not the lake and I don’t really care for the story of travelling together to the promised land.

That said, I don’t actually think the cats would adopt each other’s cultures very readily--that’s a lot easier said than done, for one thing, and for another, I think how much a cat would be interested in learning (and what they would be allowed to learn) is highly individual--and cultural change and adaptation isn’t really an individual endeavour--and also I suspect the clans would be quite cautious around sharing their traditions just because. Culture isn’t just a collection of quirks or rituals: it’s kind of a perspective on the world, and a lot of cultures don’t mesh super well because of these different perspectives, at least not without a long time living together and/or concerted effort. We have the term “culture clash” for a reason, is what I’m saying. Living in close proximity would probably heighten cultural tension between the clans, not reduce it, especially in an already fraught situation.

Anyway, the thing that appeals to me about Warriors and keeps me dipping back into this well is the elaborate world I get to create based (admittedly loosely) on canon, with the code, the laws, the territories, the history, the cultures, the names, so on. Unfortunately for me, Erin Hunter’s preference is actually to erode those things that I personally like best, and they systematically undo the most appealing elements of the series continuously.

The territories? Destroyed. Utterly destroyed.

The names? Increasingly silly nonsense.

The code? Just add something in that undermines the whole concept of the clans, and then--if I’ve heard correctly re: the newest series--just undo the code.

The history? Good luck if you can follow any kind of consistent timeline, and also characters you loved or liked or even just tolerated are now infinitely worse than before, happy super edition!

The culture? Barely there to begin with and yet somehow worse now also, what with Windclan’s dirt boys and whatever else.

So I’m not really anywhere near as interested or invested in the post-original territories experience. I write about it from time to time because that’s just where the characters I’m writing about are, but I kind of do it a little bitterly. I took the destruction of my beloved historical sites very personally.

#reply #thank you for writing in! it's very exciting to see you so hyped for my work.

24 notes · View notes