#it’s also why I kind of don’t like recommending movies and shows to ppl.
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insecurities | lee jeno
↳ pairing: lee jeno (nct) x fem!reader
↳ genre: slight angst, mostly fluff & suggestive but only if u squint rlly hard
↳ word count: 1482
↳ warning: reader being insecure about her looks i guess?? (love urself ppl yall beautiful <3)
song recommendation: met a girl by tarune
♡
Hate was a strong word, but you felt it was appropriate to say that you absolutely hated nights like the one you were having on this particular day. Standing half-naked in front of the full-body mirror situated in the corner of your shared bedroom, your eyes swept over your body once more. You despised the way your gaze lingered on the stretch marks that tainted your skin.
Wallowing in self-pity and stressing over your physical flaws wasn't exactly a standard routine for you, especially when Jeno was around. But your boyfriend wouldn't be back until late at night, having texted you he had something to do that would require him to stay at the studio longer than usual.
You turned to the side, pressing your palm over your stomach, rubbing up and down as if it would magically flatten your abdomen. Nothing happened, of course, leaving you feeling sick and fed up with the thoughts you were having.
You wiped the tears accumulating in your eyes, not allowing it to trickle down your cheeks. You could see your boyfriend's face in your mind and briefly wondered whether you were truly good enough for him. You didn't blame your insecurities on him, never. Your boyfriend was nothing but loving, and he showered you with gifts just as much as he showered you with loving words, but there were times when it was remarkably hard to believe his kind words.
You wished you could miraculously switch off your mind and climb out of this self-loathing pit you had willingly put yourself into. It was your fault, you would admit that. If you hadn't decided to strip into your underwear and scrutinise yourself in the mirror then maybe you would've been in the dining room enjoying the dinner you had made by now.
As you were stepping closer to the mirror to get a better lock at your face, you heard the turning of a key in a lock before the front door was pushed open. The realisation that Jeno had come home much earlier than you expected kept you paralysed on the spot. It wasn't until you heard the front door shutting that you were finally able to move, hastily wiping the tears from your reddened eyes and shrugging on the robe you had carelessly tossed onto the bed.
You heard him call for your name but you didn't respond, scurrying into the bathroom to wash your face in hopes of being able to get rid of any evidence that you had been crying. Jeno couldn't know. You weren't going to drag him into your mess.
You cursed to yourself as you studied your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Your cheeks and nose were flushed, and your eyes were unmistakably bloodshot. There was no way Jeno wouldn't notice.
"Baby, you in here?" Jeno called out from the entrance of the bedroom. You heard shuffling as he took off his jacket. When he spoke again, his voice was dangerously close to the bathroom, and you immediately faked a smile. "Hey, why haven't you eaten dinner yet? Were you waiting for me?"
Turning your head, you were met with your boyfriend's figure standing in the bathroom doorway. It tugged your heart to see him look so beautiful, even after a whole day of working. You just couldn't understand why he had chosen you. Why hadn't he picked someone with less baggage and imperfections?
You watched as his small smile transformed into a frown. Without any hesitation, he stepped forward to grab your hand. "Hey, have you been crying? What's wrong?"
You forced a quiet chuckle. "I was watching this new romance movie that just released." You watched his face closely, swallowing when you saw that his worried expression hadn't dissipated at all. "Have you eaten dinner yet? Go shower and come eat dinner with me."
You squeezed his hand assuringly once more before walking past him to give him some privacy in the bathroom. "Were you really just watching a movie? You look like you've been crying for hours."
You plopped onto the bed with a huff and looked up to see Jeno had walked out of the bathroom and was slowly approaching your sitting form. "Babe, we've been dating long enough for you to know I'm sensitive when it comes to tragic endings."
He stood in front of you, cupping your cheeks in his hand to tilt your head up. "Yeah, and I also know my girlfriend enough to know whenever she's lying."
You managed to smile and shake your head as he pressed his thumbs to caress the irritated skin underneath your puffy eyes. "Jeno, I'm okay."
Leaning down, he pressed his forehead against yours, causing your noses to brush. The both of you stayed like that for a few more seconds, and you welcomed the distraction. You wanted to forget the cause of your previous breakdown and Jeno's presence was helping tremendously.
Feeling the gentle brush of his lips against yours, you gasped, hands flying to grasp his arms. "Jeno," you breathed, pulling away slightly to look into his eyes. They were dark, wild, so lovely.
"Tell me," he muttered softly.
Unable to look into his eyes as you confessed, you looked down at your lap. "I'm sorry," you began. "It's just so stupid. You're the best boyfriend there is, you treat me so well, and you're just so beautiful, Jeno, and I don't know how to... compete with that."
Once again, he forced your head up so he could look into his eyes. "Baby, we're not competing for anything. What are you trying to say?"
"I just can't understand why you're still with me. I'm so flawed, and you can settle for someone who's so much more good looking, someone who can give you so much more than I can."
Jeno's face remained expressionless as he gazed down at you, but you could tell the gears in his head were all turning. His silence worried you so you shifted in your seat awkwardly.
He seemed to notice your slight movement and finally snapped out of his train of thoughts. "Wait, you're not messing with me, right?"
Groaning, you tried to stand up, but he held your waist before you could walk away. "Okay, I know it's stupid. Can we just forget about it? Please?"
His eyes widened and he pulled you closer to him until there was no space left in between the two of you. "No, no, this is far from stupid. If you feel this way, it means I haven't done a good job at being your boyfriend. I'm supposed to be making you feel loved, but—"
"No! You've been a perfect boyfriend, you're perfect. It's not your fault, seriously, it's mine."
"If this is about the way you look, then I'll have to disagree and say that it's not your fault. Everything you consider imperfections or flaws, they're a part of you, and I fell in love with that a long time ago, and I'm not falling out of love anytime soon."
"I'm sorry for being so insecure. I just... I feel like you deserve better."
His lips broke out into a soft yet wistful smile. "You're not in any position to tell me what I deserve and don't baby," he mumbled lightheartedly. "Being with you was a choice that I made, loving you is something that I choose to do until now. All these choices that I made are all choices that I made deliberately, not because I'm forced to."
Unable to say anything else, your tears began to blur your visions once again, but this time it was because you were thankful. You felt so blessed that out of all of the people in the world, you ended up with Lee Jeno—a boy whose smile shone as bright as the sun and whose heart was beautiful and kind. "I love you so much," you managed to splutter out.
Sensing the oncoming tears, Jeno bent his knees a little so that he was eye-level with you. "Hey, don't cry, I love you too," he spoke, his smile now reaching his eyes, turning them into the little crescent moon that you adored so much. "You make me happy, and that's more than enough for me. Is that enough for you?"
You nodded. "All I ever want is for you to be happy, Jeno."
He visibly relaxed at this, and gone was the solemn atmosphere that once lingered in the air. "That's settled then. You're not getting rid of me that easily because you want me happy and I'm the happiest when I'm with you. So, will you lie down on the bed for me now?"
Tilting your head, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"
"I still need to show you how beautiful you are to me and I don't think words are gonna cut it."
"Lee Jeno!"
♡
#lee jeno#jeno lee#jeno x reader#jeno#jeno imagines#jeno fluff#jeno smut#jeno angst#na jaemin#jaemin#park jisung#haechan#lee haechan#lee donghyuck#mark lee#huang renjun#renjun#zhong chenle#chenle#nct#nct dream#nct imagines#dreamies#stream hot sauce
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To Us, A Love Story Unwritten | Kuroo T., Miya A.
Hello!! Before you begin reading, THIS STORY IS A PART TWO to Redefining You , which I highly recommend you read first because a lot of things are connected! :D
Part 1 | Part 2 | Epilogue | Bonus
Synopsis: Time away from Tetsurou leads you to the serendipity that is Miya Atsumu.
Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou, You, Miya Atsumu
Genre/Warnings/Tags: None! Angst, HEALING, Hurt & Comfort, surfer!Atsumu, tattooed!Kuroo, Fluff
WC: 7600+
a/n: here’s a word dump of my feelings bcos i made an oopsie and projected real ppl in 2d characters again
*playlist if u want maximum feelies: Blue (Elina), Miles Apart (Nick Wilson)
-
The thought of healing didn’t cross your mind until some months later.
In the mornings after that morning, you stood in your balcony, leaning against the railing with a mug of coffee, your thoughts wandering. Sometimes you thought of what kind of coffee you liked, and other times you caught yourself wondering how Tetsurou moved through his six AMs. Morning thoughts were reserved for the things you prefer to keep out of your head during the day. Tetsurou, of course, had always been an exception. He somehow always flowed in your train of thought whether the numbers on your watch flashed 3am or 3pm.
Or now, you thought after taking a quick peek at the time in your phone, 6:19 AM; all you could think about was how sad his golden eyes looked against the black of Tokyo’s backdrop.
Tetsurou making his way into your thoughts has always how it’s been for almost a decade, and habits are a little hard to break. At least, that’s what you say to reason with yourself.
Thinking back to your words that night, the “I love you” just kind of slipped out. But you know you meant it. Shifting your wrist to the side, you studied the tattoo again, then closed your eyes to remember the expression on your best friend’s features.
You meant the I love you, you told yourself again. Towards yourself that was for sure; towards Tetsurou.
And that’s always going to be the case, taunted the voice in the back of your head.
After that night, Tetsurou had broken up with his long term girlfriend for good. Though he didn’t necessarily ruin himself over the breakup—there were changes.
He still texted you at odd hours to show you a video he thought was funny, still showed up to your apartment for movie nights, and more or less was still present. But it was during the particularly sentimental scenes in the movie where he’d choose to refill the popcorn or grab another soda, and you could see that his can was still half full. You noticing that Tetsurou always chose to pick the other boba shop that was on the other side of town never flew past you either. You knew that that was the shop he always used to take her after classes—so even seeing how his hands never failed to tighten against the steering wheel when the two of you would drive by, you always pretended not to notice. Even though four months had passed, you know that for him, the wound was still fresh.
And remembering how sad he looked that night, you couldn’t help yourself to feel for his pain. At the end of the day, weren’t you just two people who yearned for the love that couldn’t be yours?
So you sigh and take a sip of coffee from the mug; it had grown a little cold. The digital clock on your phone read 6:31 AM next to a text from Tetsurou asking if you had time for lunch later.
Replying a quick ‘yep. meet u at the usual :)’, did nothing for you trying to have a more productive day off today and thus the morning felt a little slower than normal, so you sigh. Again.
It was going to be one of those days.
-
Tetsurou always made it a point to look gorgeous. Was he trying? Probably not, but that son a bitch knew people gave him looks that lingered a bit too long to be considered just a passing glance. You nearly snort in laughter at the way he opens the door to the café a little too, for better words, extravagantly, and walk to you purposely taking his time because you could tell he felt the way the young mom sitting at the table near the counter was giving him the look.
Then again, you don’t blame her. You weren’t too far from her reaction, albeit you actually had the decency to not openly gawk at him. Tetsurou plopped down in the chair opposite from you and pushed his sleeves up to his elbows and propping them up the table before grabbing the menu from the middle of the table.
Already knowing your order, and his even though he still looks through the menu every time, you sit in your seat waiting for him to settle on the same thing he ordered the last time you ate there.
“Tetsu, why do you have to be so extra every time you see someone looking at you for more than three seconds?”
He cocked his head to the side and peeked at you from behind the menu, “Because I’m hot, tree.”
Though you rolled your eyes at the nickname, you still smiled at the familiar banter, “I still don’t get why you call me tree when you’re the literal beanpole in this friendship.”
“That’s rich coming from you, considering you told people you knew a talking rooster in highschool,” he deadpanned, but you knew he was on the edge of a chuckle from the way he emphasized his words.
“Hey,” you raised your arms up in defense, “people thought you were interesting that way so…”
Tetsurou set the menu down and rolled his eyes at your response as the waiter greeted the two of you. Before Tetsurou could open his mouth to say what he wanted, you spoke, “I’ll get the carbonara and he’ll get the tonkatsu ramen—“
“Oi-“ he interrupted from the side, still, you continued, “we’ll also get iced tea, extra sugar for him, and a little less for me.”
The waiter looked between the two of you waiting for Tetsurou to finish speaking but he only leans back huffing out a, “She’s right.”
You smirked. “You get the same thing every time.”
“Well what if I want something else one day?” he replied to which you rolled your eyes as a reply.
In between bites, Tetsurou looks up from his meal, “Any plans?”
You twirled the straw of your drink around the liquid and looked at him, “I was thinking of traveling somewhere. My boss is letting me take some time off, and season’s kind of slow, so might as well.”
He nods, and then points his chopsticks at you, sighing, “Oh to be young and employed with an employer who doesn’t want to kill you with work.”
“We’re literally seven months apart,” you deadpan.
He huffs in his seat and continues eating.
-
“Have you decided where you’re going?”
You look to your left at Tetsurou who’s facing you, no longer paying attention to the movie playing in the TV. Smoothing out the blanket on your lap, you sigh and tilt your head. “Kinda? I’m thinking somewhere warm. Kinda miss the sea.”
At this point the movie you two settled on a few hours ago had been completely forgotten, so you shift your body and face him. He offers you your third (or was it the fourth?) can of beer for that night, which you take and pop open immediately.
“(Y/n), can you even swim?” he laughs.
You glare at him from behind your drink. “I can go and look pretty in the beach while sipping my margaritas thank you very much.”
Tetsurou clinks his can against yours and leans back against the couch, shifting to a more comfortable position. When he finally settles, he positions his head in a way that’s still facing you.
Draping your legs across his lap, you rearrange the blanket so that it covers the both of you. You feel the weight of his hands leaning against your legs and then hear him speak, “How long are you gonna be gone?”
You shrug. “I don’t know, a month? Two months? Haven’t even got the ticket yet.”
He gives you a look you can’t decipher, and then his voice becomes a little quiet, “What if I want to go with you?”
“Tetsu, you know your job won’t let you off that long,” you reply.
He lets out an exaggerated sigh and pout at you, “You’re going to go and find a new surfer best friend who’ll buy you margaritas that flips his hair and you’ll forget about me.”
You chuckle. “Like that’s gonna happen.”
At this point the alcohol must have hit the both of you because you suddenly look at him, eyes soft in the way you usually would mask in the hours you were sober. He looks at you, equally as deep in the state of inebriation as you are because his eyes are as hazy as the slur in his tone when he says, “Nope! Because you looooove me (y/n).”
And he laughs at his own joke, tilting his head back to take another swig of beer. The comedic undertone flies past you anyway, because you fiddle with the edge of your sweater and sadly nod, “Yeah. I do”
In front of you, Tetsurou raises his hand, smiling, then hollers, “High five! Love you too.”
If it wasn’t for the liquid confidence, you would’ve laughed along to his joke and take another gulp of your beer to swallow the confession—but you’re four cans in and Tetsurou saying that he loves you too clouds the usual boundaries swimming in your head.
He doesn’t notice you when you take another heavy gulp from your can, or bite your lip afterwards, but he hears you when you say, “I do, you dumb fuck, I love you.”
And as soon as you say it, you feel him look at you. You choose to keep your head down. A few beats of silence passes before he speaks, “I know, (y/n),” he reaches forward to grab your hand, taking it into his. He traces the lining of the tattoo before continuing, “I know your tattoo story. And I’m still proud of-“
“I love you, Tetsurou,” you could almost wince at how loud it echoed in the silence, and the alcohol is still swimming in your system so you take another gulp hoping to dive deeper.
You feel him stop tracing the lines on your wrist so you take your hand back to your lap. He let the quiet envelop the room again before he spoke, and you could tell he was careful with his words.
“That time in the balcony, when you said you loved someone…” he trailed off so you look up and catch his stare. His eyes were still glassy; your head was still swimming, the rational thoughts further muffled by liquid confidence.
“I meant you,” you say, and try to fight the urge to break eye contact.
And because Tetsurou chooses to reply with a hushed ‘I’m sorry.’, you tell him ‘it’s okay, Tetsu.’ and retreat to your bedroom with a mumbled excuse of sleeping off a headache.
You lie in the dark with one hand over your eyes and sniffle quietly. You hear his “I’m sorry,” echo in the silence, but you try to ignore the thought at how immediate the apology was. He always had a habit of thinking about his answers in uncertain situations.
But you know him more than you give yourself credit for, you realize, so you shut your eyes and ignore the sting of the tears because you know. You’ve always known everything you felt for him had been on the unrequited side for the most part.
The certainty in his apology still hurt none the less.
--
That morning you wake up with a slight pound in your head and an empty apartment. At least he didn’t stick around, you thought, fully aware that the conversation afterwards would have most likely been too awkward to sit through.
Sighing as you rounded the corner to enter the kitchen, you paused in your track to look at the table where a plate of omurice lay in the middle next to a glass of sweet tea, the condensation still a little fresh on the glass.
Taking a seat and whispering a soft, “Itadakimasu”, you picked up the glass and took a sip. It didn’t taste as sweet as his.
Your eyes still stung, but you couldn’t help but smile at the taste. Looks like he remembers how you like your tea too.
-
After that night, there never really came a talk about where the two of you stood. Two days after the not so sober confession, Tetsurou showed up at your door with a bag of donuts demanding your company to picnic at this new spot he found recently. So you played along and pretended like nothing happened. The rational thoughts were back, your head no longer cloudy so this time, you laughed along with Tetsurou.
Though you could tell this time around his gaze towards you lingered a little longer, and he began to have moments where it looked like he was contemplating to start a conversation then ultimately deciding against it at the very last second. It was fine, though. You weren’t sure if you were ready to have that conversation just yet.
So the next few weeks flowed like how it always did. Movie nights, playful banters, small talk, and beer—only this time you never drank more than two.
“Have you decided where you’re going?” he asks.
“Yeah, there’s this island in the Philippines. Siargao. My flight’s next week. The place looks sunny enough, but I might hop around the other islands if I stay long enough,” you reply.
“Don’t drown,” he laughs, and sets his beer down. You turn your focus back to the movie after chuckling at his reply and ignore how he never picked up a third can this time. And unlike before, he didn’t ask if he could come along this time.
-
Tetsurou drops you off with a half hug and a request that you update him as often as you can.
After a final wave at the gate, you board the plane with a return ticket to Japan slotted for two months later down the year.
-
The island of Siargao is as beautiful as the pictures you always see on social media. Outside the unit you rented, was a stretch of untouched beach that was some ways from the main square of the city. And true to your words, for the first week of your arrival, you spent your days kicking the sand, lounging by the water and sipping on margaritas.
Tetsurou sent you multiple messages during the first few days, to which you replied through selfies with your margaritas. He’d send you a photo of himself rolling his eyes with the caption “off to work, because I have a job. Like some people.” , or something along similar lines.
You tried to think this wasn’t some random trip you took just because of Tetsurou. It had been a long time since you last took a vacation for yourself; work was lenient, you saved up enough, and frankly, you missed the beach. Tetsurou was just the icing on top of the cake that helped you make your decision, you rationalized.
Plus, you thought, this place is paradise.
And you held on to that thought because a few days later came the knock on your door at six in the morning that introduced you to the serendipity you never could have predicted. Your little summer serendipity came in the form of a six foot one, and totally ripped blonde named Miya Atsumu.
He knocked at your door asking if you knew any places that rented out surfboards and scooters. By the time he was at the third word of his sentence, you knew he was Japanese because of the accent that lingered after he spoke. By the fourth sentence, he smiled in a way that had his eyes crinkling. And by the end of the conversation, by whatever being possessed you in that moment, probably that extra margarita, you had agreed to go to the main square in the city with him.
Atsumu knocks on your door for the second time that day at five in the afternoon wearing a loose white button shirt and another eye crinkling smile. Dangling a set of keys in one hand he nodded behind him and said, “Ready to go? I got the scooter from the place you told me.”
This time, you voiced out your hesitation, “Ahh, it’s alright. You don’t have to get dinner for me tonight. I just happened to know a place.”
He smiles and blinks at you laughing, “Ya travelin’ alone?” You nod then he continues, “Same here. Might as well know someone in the area. Heard the food here’s good, so let’s go.”
You open your mouth to protest but he turns and walks towards his scooter so you huff and follow after him. He did have a point. You were going to be there for two months so might as well actually take the time to know some people.
-
After Atsumu helps you fasten the belt on the helmet, he tells you to ‘feel free to hold on to my waist if ya need to balance.’ and then backs to the main street. Your hands rest on his shoulders as he drives along a road parallel to the stretch of water on your far left. It must have been close to seven, you take note, because as you glance up the colors in the sky begin to blend into mellow hues of orange and red.
You look forward and glance at Atsumu’s reflection in the side mirror before briefly catching his eye. From the mirror, you could see an expression that was somewhere between a smirk and a smile.
“Ya like what ya see?” he yells over the wind.
You squeeze his shoulder, then lean closer saying, “Just drive. I’m not in the mood to die.”
He laughs over the holler of the open air and you can’t help but smile along to how his laugh lingers in the air.
Soon enough, the two of you settle into a restobar by the beach, one close enough to the water where you could ditch your flip flops and let your feet sink in the sand.
This has got to be the fifth margarita I’m drinking today, you think to yourself before taking a sip. Still good though, you inwardly snort. Atsumu sits across you from the table nursing his own choice of drink.
The atmosphere was nice, the live musician strumming his first song in the background. Then Atsumu speaks from across you, “So,” he begins, “How long ya stayin’?”
You fiddle with the straw of your drink, facing him, “Two months. You?”
He shrugs, “I don’t know yet. Off season and there’s not much to do back home, so might as well be bored somewhere a little more scenic.”
“Indefinite vacation,” you nod—impressed, “Must be hella loaded.”
He laughs again, “I’m comfortable.”
The silence envelops the two of you again, but as the musician begins another song, from the corner of your eye you see Atsumu listen, clap, and smile so you decide maybe befriending this stranger won’t be so bad after all.
The next night you head for go for drinks, Tetsurou messages you with a picture of him and Kenma in the car with a caption, “movie night minus the traitor who left the country >:((“ and you reply with your signature margarita selfie with Atsumu throwing a peace sign to your right. Tetsurou replies with a smiley face and you don’t hear from him for the rest of the night.
-
The next few weeks consisted of waking up shy of the sunrise and walks along the trail where the waves crept towards the sand. Atsumu liked to join you in the mornings, of course, the days he actually wakes up before ten AM. Some days you’d watch him peddle out into the water catching wave after wave as you sat in the sand, under a shade. You didn’t really go out into the water and preferred to just sit in the sun, so the times Atsumu would catch a break, he’d lay out a towel next to you and sit to talk.
He was talkative. Extremely talkative. But it was welcome, you suppose. He asked aimless questions during conversations. Conversations with him usually sounded like this: “(y/n)?” “Yep?” “Whadda ya think about riceballs?” “They’re…okay, I guess.” “Good to know.”
It was endearing, you suppose. Atsumu respected your boundaries and never pried, that fact was for sure. Though, he chose to fill in the beats of silence with little facts about his life. Over the course of the next month, in the moments you’d spend with Atsumu during the day, you’ve learned that he was playing for a professional volleyball team, he’s originally not from Tokyo, he tripped during a fan meeting, has a twin brother who’s darn good at cookin’ (he emphasized), and that his favorite food is fatty tuna. You don’t remember specifically asking, but he talks anyway you can’t bring yourself to mind one bit.
During the past month and some, Tetsurou sporadically texts you a greeting to which you reply to—but this time, it wasn’t until much, much later that you realize you didn’t think too much about the change of tone and much hastier conversations. You usually ended the phone call this time around, too.
Nearing the last few stretches of golden hour, Atsumu would routinely knock at your door and drag you out to walk around the beach only retreating to your respective units hours after the sunset.
It was during this one night where Atsumu sits you down and stars a small bonfire. He excused himself for a brief moment then came back with a Tupperware of what you assumed to be snacks, a blanket, and a hoodie which he lent you (that up to now you still haven’t returned). You smile as he takes his seat next to you, comfortable in his hoodie.
“So,” Atsumu breaks the silence, “how come yer runnin’ away for two months?”
“That’s kinda sudden,” you reply.
He knocks your shoulder with his lightly before speaking again, “You don’t have ta’ share if you don’t wanna.”
“No pressure,” he says again and his eyes crinkle at his smile so you press your shoulder against his and say, “I just wanted time for myself I guess.”
He nods, so you continue, “It’s nothing dramatic, really. For a big part of my life I just…lived according to how people placed me in their lives. I guess I just wanted the space where I had to make decisions from nothing if that even makes any sense.”
“Depends. How many margaritas did ya have today?” he jokes.
“Atsumu! You were with me the whole day, I haven’t even had one yet,” you laugh out.
“But I understand what ya’ mean. Yer all good, I just thought you were gonna say you were soul searchin’ cause of a boy that broke ya’ heart back home.”
You look at him and wince. “In a way, that was a factor as well.”
Half expecting a sympathetic reply, you find yourself rolling your eyes and laughing because Atsumu suddenly yells, “Bingo!” and flicks your forehead.
He faces you and holds his hands up, “Hey, we all got a reason to do stuff so I ain’t gonna judge ya’.”
You smile and lean against his shoulder because you know he’s sincere.
“Atsumu?” you call out.
“Yeah?” he replies as he turns his head looking at you.
The red of the flames flicker as a glassy reflection against the brown in his eyes and your thoughts become jumbled for a second.
“If I find out you’re here because you got dumped I’m never letting you live it down.”
His eyes crinkle along with his laugh and you find yourself missing the pools of brown, but the echo of his laugh resonates clear in your ears as compensation so you decide you’re satiated.
“I swear I just got bored back home!”
Atsumu spends the next few hours by telling you stories and giving you soft smiles, and you don’t notice the absence of Tetsurou’s message that night.
-
On the afternoon after some weeks more, Atsumu comes to you by knocking at your door at five in the afternoon (which doesn’t even surprise you at this point), demanding you put on swimwear because he was going to teach you how to swim. At first, you stare at him with a blank look—wherein he stares at you right back with equal intensity, so after some time, you sigh and shoo him out, telling him you’ll meet him outside after you get ready.
After tugging on some shorts and a bikini top, you walk outside and glance around looking for the telltale blonde of Atsumu’s head. It doesn’t really surprise you when you hear your name being hollered from some distance, so as you look to the direction of the water—you see Atsumu waving his arms wildly, already waist deep out in sea.
The water was warm, at least, and you carefully wade in the water towards Atsumu. He lets you grab his arms to help you find balance against the waves knocking against you.
“You know you’re going to fail if you try to teach me right?” you say.
“Just needed an excuse to get you in the water,” he chuckles.
You respond by splashing him with a handful of water. And somewhere in between splashes of water and playful banter, you find yourself wading chest deep into warm water, Atsumu’s arms acting as your anchor against the push and pull of the waves. The two of you stay like that for some time and you allow the woosh of the water and distant sounds of the children on shore fill the silence.
“Golden hour’s almost up, ‘Tsumu, we should go back.” you say after some time.
He stands behind you and leans down a bit, then surprises you as he wraps his arms around you, pulling your back to his chest. Your breath hitches, then his voice sounds low near your ear, “Look at the sky.”
And so you do. The sky in front of you lights itself in bursting shades of oranges, reds, and touches of violets. You turn your face to the side but stop because you see Atsumu staring at you, the expression on his face soft.
“Pretty, ain’t it?” his lips part to say, and you nod because you see licks of the sky’s painting reflected in the glassy brown pools of Atsumu’s eyes.
He blinks and smiles in a softer way that only the corners crinkle up, and you don’t notice how your hand eventually found its way to wrap around his because you’re gravitating towards him—face angling closer until you felt his lips press against your forehead.
“Did you know,” you begin, “when you feel deja vu that means the universe is telling you you’re going down the right path?”
Atsumu looks as you, “Does this feel familiar?”
“In a way,” you respond and smile.
Turning to face him, Atsumu’s hands cradle yours as he presses his lips towards the side of your lips, then back to the side of your head feeling him smiling into the kiss. “You’re somethin’ else, (y/n).”
You look at him wearing a smile mirroring his, “Something good I hope.”
It’s something good, you decide later that night as you settle in bed after dinner with Atsumu. The past few hours flew by in a mirage of good conversation, light hearted jokes and even more eye crinkling smiles from Atsumu.
Settling into the comforter, you grab your laptop just in time as Tetsurou’s face pops up on screen, requesting a video call. Propping yourself up on your elbows, you hit the accept button and wave hello as Tetsuou’s face appears on the screen. He holds a can of beer as a greeting and leans forward. His eyes look glassy.
“(Y/n)..” His voice trails off before slowly continuing, “—how are you?”
You don’t notice his tone from the high you’re still feeling from the day so you beam at him, “I’m good! Atsumu and I are really hitting it off! You’d love him Tetsu!”
He stares at you through the webcam and then he sighs deep. Finally catching a drift of the atmosphere he’s giving off, you watch him crack another beer open and slowly speak, “You okay? Did something happen?”
He sets the can down at the table in front of him and places his face in his hands. You notice the new ink around his forearms. “I miss you, (y/n).”
“I’ll be home next week, Tetsu,” you say
“I—“ he pauses to look up at you with glassy eyes, “I think we should give us a try.”
Your heart clenches. “Tetsurou, you’re drunk. We can talk when I get home.” He shakes his head, and his movement is a little sluggish, so you continue to speak before he could, “I saw the photo your ex posted earlier. You’re still not okay, Tetsu.”
He leans back to his chair with a little force, “And suddenly you are? After being in love with me for eight years, (y/n), you expect me to believe that you’re suddenly okay? Bullshit.”
Your face grimaces, and you feel anger bubble up, the emotion seeping into your words, “I don’t think you’re ever going to go away, Tetsurou. For years I watched you fall in and out of love with someone who was never me. I’m not suddenly okay but I accepted that this—“ you pause to gesture between the two of you, “—isn’t going to happen and I’m moving on. I watched you when you were at your happiest and I deserve that too, Tetsu. I deserve to be at my happiest whether it be by myself or with Atsu-“
“We can try, (y/n),” he cuts you off softly.
“But I don’t deserve someone who isn’t sure about me,” you reply.
And maybe it’s the liquid confidence that riles him up, but he suddenly straightens his back and looks at you with the same glare you stare at him with, “And are you sure about Atsumu? You told me none of us are saints, (y/n), you’re not better off than I am here.”
You open your mouth, but the silence remains; the atmosphere suddenly heavy.
Then Tetsurou slumps before he he speaks, “(Y/n), I—“
“It’s okay, Kuroo,” you watch as he winces at his surname, “It’s late and I really want to get some sleep. You should too. Take care.”
You catch the last second of him parting his lips at an attempt to reply before you promptly ended the call and shut off your laptop.
His words ring in your ear the entire night, and you think of Atsumu the entire night. You watch the second hand of the clock on your bedside table tick slowly. Your hand comes to rest against your eyes as you try to let sleep pull you in.
You think of Tetsurou who looked at you with glassy eyes that told you all the reasons why his heart was still hurting, then you think of Atsumu—of how the sunset looked better reflected in his eyes than it did painted across the sky.
“I really hope this is something good,” you echo your words from earlier as you let sleep finally succumb into slumber.
-
The night before your flight, Atsumu seats you outside for a bonfire, with the same blankets, snacks, and hoodie fitted around you. The first few hours he jokes about little stories that happened throughout his life and listens patiently when you’d share a snippet of yours.
At this point, you weren’t sure where the two of you stood. You look at him from the corner of your eye as he blows against an extremely burnt marshmallow before sheepishly offering the stick to you.
“When we’re back in Japan I’m lettin’ ya taste ‘Samu’s cookin’ to make up for this I swear.”
You lean your head against his arm and blow on the charred marshmallow, “Have you decided when you’re coming back?”
“Yes, but I’m not tellin ya,” Atsumu chuckles.
“What!” You exclaim, suddenly sitting up, “You already have a ticket?”
“That’s also a secret, doll.”
You sigh and move to lightly punch his shoulder, but instead, he catches your hand midway and envelops it in his own. Atsumu looks at the tattoo on your wrist peeking out, so tentatively, he pushes down the sleeve and looks at it.
“Baby’s breath means eternal love, right?” he asks, voice hushed.
“I’m surprised a big, buff, man like you knows,” you reply.
“Oi, big buff men can be sentimental too,” Atsumu quips.
“(Y/n),” he begins then looks at you in a way that suddenly has your stomach churning, “Should we give us a go at this?”
He asks the same question as Tetsurou did a few nights back and your head is swimming. Tetsurou’s words muddle the thoughts in your head as you turn to face Atsumu who is looking at you with eyes that always held the same softness that remained unchanged from two months ago.
Is this even fair for Atsumu? is the thought that you circle around.
“I don’t want to give you only half of me, ‘Tsumu,” you cradle his cheek in your palm and your heart stirs when he leans in.
“You’re too good for me,” you confess.
He closes his eyes and you find yourself missing the dancing specks of scarlet flames reflected in his orbs.
“You’re killin’ me, doll,” he sighs, his face still warm against your palm. Atsumu’s hand trails up and cups your hand that’s still flush against his cheek.
“Is this the part where we say we’re the right people who met at the wrong time?” he jokes quietly. Atsumu looks at you with a smile contrasting against the somber expression in his face, and you feel your heart clench.
Your thoughts momentarily flicker back to the night you talked to Tetsurou in your balcony some months ago and remember the feeling of déjà vu hinting that you were heading in the right direction with your decision.
Staring back at him, you look at your own reflection in darkened pools of brown and don’t feel déjà vu’s familiar push. Atsumu’s other hand trails up your face and his thumb rubs against your cheek. You stay silent when he sighs again and your heart clenches in the way that hurts, and your brain scrambles for a reason why.
Atsumu angles your hand in a way that lets him press a kiss to the tattoo on your wrist. “Hope ya heal in time, (y/n).”
You’re still quiet, thoughts still muddled as your rationality wrestles to string words to convey to Atsumu. “We can stay in contact, ‘Tsumu. I still want you to be in my life,” you slowly say.
“I don’t wanna be hurtin’ you while you’re still tryin’ to find yourself,” he says, and you nod. Déjà vu never comes and your heart still aches.
And your heart remains heavy as the two of you stand up to retreat for the night. Against the door of your room you look at him and press a kiss on his cheek. He smiles at you.
“Well, I guess,” you initiate, “see you around?”
He smiles and crosses the short distance between the two of you, then presses a chaste kiss on your forehead. “If the universe wills it, doll.”
The feeling of déjà vu is absent for the rest of the night.
-
After the first few days of your arrival back in Japan, you stay in your apartment cursing the winter. This particular winter was a little harsh for Tokyo and the sudden temperature change you needed to adjust to didn’t help with your traitor immune system. Kenma had waited for you at the arrival area of the airport instead of Tetsurou that day. Then again, you weren’t complaining—you didn’t have any plans to talk to him immediately after coming back home.
You didn’t need to report back to your job until the next week so the first few days, you loitered around your apartment mindlessly passing the time. Some mornings, you’d drag a chair by the balcony and sip your morning coffee. The snow accumulating on the rails and the gloomy morning light was a far cry from the little island you explored with Atsumu back in the Philippines, but your thoughts still ghosted around him from time to time.
The morning you left for the airport, he slept in, but that didn’t stop you from leaving a sticky note in his front door with your contact details neatly printed in the paper. Throughout your day, your eyes constantly flickered to sneak glimpses at your phone’s notification bar, but there was never an unknown number. So you sighed, and instead scrolled through the photos you managed to capture with him. The image of Atsumu stared back at you through the screen, expression beaming with unfiltered happiness and you find yourself smiling along every time.
A knock on your door one morning brings you out of your haze. Before you could look through the peep hole, another knock comes and then a voice, “Ah, (y/n), I think you’re home now,” your hand on the door knob loosens, “It’s Tetsurou. Can we please talk?”
You must have stayed quiet too long because he speaks again, “I got you donuts.”
And you sigh, because he’s right, the two of you need to talk. But you still tell yourself you’re only opening the door because it’s six in the morning and you can’t be bothered to make breakfast so the donuts are the only reason you’re letting him in.
-
Tetsurou sits on the opposite side of the dining table gripping the handle of his mug with one hand before he clears his throat and looks at you, “I’m sorry.”
“Tetsurou,” you begin, “You’re someone that I don’t think will ever leave my system.” His eyes are a little clearer now that you return his stare. “You’re still the person who grew up with me even if time difference existed you know. You’ve had so many roles in my life and that’s never going to change.”
He looks at you, suddenly looking like a teenager again. His golden eyes stare at you and gleam of something unspoken. “I think somewhere along the years I really did fall in love with you, (y/n). And it just sucks how we never met at the same page. I really do love you, (y/n).”
“Maybe in the next life, Tetsu,” you say suddenly choked up. “We both deserve-“
“A fresh start.” He cuts you off, smiling. “A fresh start.” You affirm.
Before you knew it, Tetsurou rolls his sleeve to his elbows and angles his arm showing you a small outline of the sun peeking out behind some buildings. You look at him just in time for his explanation, “It’s not as sentimental as your baby’s breath tattoo, but sunrises remind me of you.”
You feel your eyes water when you look at the amber of his eyes growing glassier, “You got a tattoo that reminds you of me?”
“You’ve always been a constant in my life, (y/n). I shared so many sunrises with you. And I mean it when I say that I want you to find what makes you happy.” He tells you as you smile and lean forward, tracing the lining of his tattoo. The moment feels a little like déjà vu that doesn’t disappear when Tetsurou speaking again, “I love you enough to realize that kind of happiness won’t be with me, (y/n).”
He looks at you and everything feels so familiar. You choke out a sob that sounded a little like a laugh and Tetsurou does the same.
“You’re never getting rid of me, you lunatic,” you say, and Tetsurou laughs—eyes glassy from the pricks of tears fighting to slide down his cheeks. “We’re okay, right?” He asks you. And you nod, because your heart constricts in a way that doesn’t hurt, the knot in your stomach gone and Tetsurou looking so beautiful from the morning light that filtered in feels so familiar.
“Always, Tetsu.”
And after some moments of comfortable silence, he looks to the window on his left saying, “So, surfer dude slash volleyball player, huh? I think you got a type going on, (y/n).”
You roll your eyes and finally grab a donut from the box. “Yeah.”
Tetsurou chuckles, “Tell me about him. He’s the first guy who makes you look dopey in love.” So you smile and look out the window thinking about the boy who spoke of the little moments and showed you worlds under the sun and feel your heart mellow to a gentle beat, “He’s something good.”
-
Atsumu’s number doesn’t show up on your phone for the next month, but you try to keep yourself from doing your own research, or as Tetsurou pointed out, stalking, for his presence in social media. If he didn’t want to be found, you’d just leave him to it.
Tetsurou sits across from you at the arrival gate in Haneda airport later that month, scrolling through his phone and mumbling curses because Bokuto, his friend, had told him the wrong time for his arrival and won’t be arriving until a few hours later. Instead of driving back home, wasting gas, and sitting through traffic, you suggest to pass the time at a café instead.
“I swear to god, (y/n), remind me to end my friendship with him the second he lands,” Tetsurou huffs from across you.
“You’re being dramatic again,” You roll your eyes, laughing.
“He’s gonna be here in a bit,” you pause and stand up, grabbing your phone, “I’ll go check the board so stay here.”
“Since you left your wallet here, I’m treating myself to another frapp, thanks (y/n)!” you hear him call from behind you, so you turn to flick him off as you keep walking.
-
Looking at the board above the gate, your eyes scan to look for information regarding Bokuto’s flight. Under said flight, you smile looking at SIARGAO listed within the board. Briefly, your thought wonders off to Atsumu; you hoped he was doing well.
A flow of people begin to trail out of the gate and into the lobby. Assuming that it must be from Bokuto’s flight, you stand on your tip toes from your little corner to look for the telltale monochromatic palette of his hair.
Grabbing your phone, you hastily press call to Tetsurou’s contact name, to which he answers with a drawled out “Heeelllloo?” along with an exaggerated slurp to the Frappuccino he bought with your card.
You open your mouth to tell him to come over, except that you don’t because standing a few meters in front of you is a familiar blonde.
From the phone in your ear, you hear Tetsurou call your name, so through the haze in your thoughts, you mumble a quick “Never mind.” and hang up. You don’t think Atsumu notices you just yet because he’s pulled his luggage to the side, a little closer to you this time, and pulled out his phone to what you could guess was him texting somebody.
You don’t speak for the first few beats of silence because, holy shit this is fanfiction material—is this actually happening? Eventually he pockets his phone and looks around, before his eyes spots you, who at this point, is still openly gawking at him some distance away.
Then three things happen in succession; first, Atsumu’s eyes widen, second, he blinks really fast, and then finally, third, cracks a smile.
And as soon as his smile pushes the crinkle in his eyes, you feel yourself release the breath you’ve unconsciously held in. He pushes his luggage with him as he walks towards you, hand held up in greeting and the smile still plastered wide on his face.
“Yo,” he says and your heart bursts with your reply that came out a little more breathless than you’d expected, “Hi.”
-
Tetsurou stands some distance away from the two of you, holding your wallet and his Frappuccino. He spots the blonde mop of head you’re staring at, really you should chill out (he thinks), and immediately recognizes his features as Miya Atsumu, the same guy who’s been a part of your daily margarita selfie for the two months you were in the Philippines.
The bedhead watches you walk towards Atsumu, and he to you before you both met somewhat in the middle, then looks at you, finding himself smile because of how happy you looked. He stands in his spot and can’t help but feel some sort of déjà vu as he stops himself from approaching the two of you. His heart, he realizes, clenches in a way that sort of hurts but sort of doesn’t, but because this is the first time looking at you with a smile so unabashed, he settles with the thought that because he loves you—you deserve nothing short of the happiness you’re feeling now.
And you can’t help but feel the same as Atsumu laughs out a comment about how the universe must really want the two of you together. His arms circle your figure after exchanging a few pleasantries and inside jokes and you smile into the crook of his neck.
“This feels a little like that déjà vu thing ya talked about before, ya know.” He mumbles. And for the brief moment you see Tetsurou’s text on the screen of your phone reading, “whipped.”, you laugh in a way that has you feeling dizzy and light. You feel like you could cry when Atsumu kisses the side of your head, because this moment feels so familiar.
Atsumu feels so familiar. So when you break the embrace and look at the reflection of your watering eyes in the warm pools of his, more than ever, you were sure that this is exactly where the gods meant for you to be.
-
a/n: *i’m aware there’s no direct flight from haneda/siargao but pls bear w me ;A;
proceed to Epilogue :D
#haikyuucreations#haikyuu#hq#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#haikyuu scenarios#haikyu scenarios#hq scenarios#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu imagine#hq imagine#hq imagines#haikyuu scenario#hq scenario#miya atsumu x reader#miya atsumu x you#atsumu x reader#miya atsumu fanfiction#kuroo tetsurou x reader#kuroo x reader#redefining you#kuroo tetsurou x you#atsumu imagines#atsumu scenarios#miya atsumu angst#miya atsumu fluff#kuroo tetsurou fluff#kuroo tetsurou angst#haikyuu au
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hiii!! i hope it's okay to just ask you, i really want to start writing fanfiction but i'm so embarrassed of my writing style and in general, ever showing it to anyone? do you have any tips for beginners? 🥺
Hey there Anon! Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, but I was at work when I saw your ask, and wanted to really think about what to say before responding. With that in mind, I hope you don't mind a really lengthy answer.
I have to say I’m incredibly flattered to have someone ask me for writing tips, and will do my best to provide some insights based on my own experience. I'm no expert, but I've done a lot of writing both academic and creative. Of course, it goes without saying that the following strategies are what work for me, personally. Everyone works and thinks differently, so some of my suggestions may not fit the way you work and that's totally okay!
Because I am an anal nerd, I've organized my responses into categories.
Writing Style
Firstly, remember that your writing style is unique to you and you have nothing to be embarrassed about! But honestly, I think a lot of writers feel the same way; I don’t actually like my fiction writing style, either, and am always working to improve it.
One thing I’ve found that helps: find authors whose style you really like, and read and reread their stories and study how they write. What’s their sentence structure like? How do they write dialogue? How do they set up scenes? Is it through dialogue or more through the use of a character’s thoughts? This is what I do. I have three authors, who all write in a particular way that I really love, that I tend to reread and study for inspiration. Just know that your style is not set in stone and you do have the ability to adjust it, it just takes practice.
At the end of the day it's easy to wish we could write like our favorite authors, but don't be too hard on yourself; your style is special, too!
Getting Started
When I used to write research papers in school, I was a big fan of creating outlines before I'd start writing the actual paper. However, for creative writing, I don't use outlines because I find that I'm constantly changing things around. The outline would either have to be so basic in order to allow for flexibility that it wouldn't be of much use, or it would become irrelevant three chapters in.
Writing that first sentence is probably the hardest part of writing a story. What I did, for the story I'm working on now, is picked a part that I was really excited to write about and just started with that, first (I'm pretty sure it was something that comes much later in my story, that I haven't even posted yet). That helped me to get really into the process and feel confident about what I was doing, which made it easier to move onto other sections. What I'm trying to say is don’t be hemmed in by feeling like you have to write sequentially. I tend to write scenes as they come to me; I don’t force myself to write consecutive chapters, if that makes sense. For example, in my current story, I had chapter 14 finished before chapter 11 bc I had a burst of inspiration and just wrote it all out. Just be aware that sometimes this can lead to you writing yourself into a corner (which did happen to me in this fic), but the beauty of it all is that it’s your story and you can change whatever you want!
If you’re writing a story with chapters, keep a point in mind. My beta reader actually taught me this. With each chapter, ask yourself “What is the goal of this chapter?” Think of chapters as mini stories that, when combined and read in order, create one big story (duh). Therefore each chapter should ideally have a purpose that moves the overall story forward.
Write about what you know. If you don't know -> research
Authenticity is really important to me. I have googled the most random shit for this story: "Did soldiers have to repair their own uniforms in WWII?" "Popular slang of the 30s and 40s." "How to make jambalaya." "Popular cigarette brands of the 30s."
I have also been very careful around race in my story as it involves POC and I'm as white as white gets (I got a hyphenated name and everything). When I address a character's emotions around race I try to match it to how they acted in the show/movie. I don't rely on conjecture or how I think they'd feel, bc as a white person, it's impossible for me to truly know what it's like to be a POC. This also goes for dialogue; it can be easy to turn people into caricatures. I've watched TFATWS at least three times, and have watched numerous interviews with Anthony Mackie to try and make sure I write dialogue and emotion that fits him as an individual and not a stereotype. It's not perfect, and I'm sure I've made some mistakes, but it's something that's really important to me and I try my damndest to make sure Sam Wilson comes across as authentic.
Getting Edits
I see a lot of people suggest sharing your work with friends or family to get feedback. I'm not really a fan of this because I'm pretty private about my writing. I don't want anyone that I know reading it bc, frankly, I'm embarrassed (hey look how we came full-circle there!). Besides AO3, Tumblr is the only space that I feel comfortable enough to share my work without fear of judgement. I think the preferred alternative is to get yourself a beta reader. This is the first fic that I've worked on with a beta reader and...wow, what a huge difference it has made! I found my beta reader when he posted on tumblr expressing an interest in beta'ing, and so I messaged him (hey @3dg310rdsupreme). It’s the best decision I ever made. He has truly made me a better writer, and my current in-progress fic wouldn’t be nearly as good without him offering edits, acting as a sounding board, and reigning in my excessive use of lengthy paragraphs (he will probably cringe at these paragraphs, here).
Posting Your Story
If/when you do decide to post your story in a public forum, try to maintain a loose posting schedule. When I first started uploading I committed to a chapter a week, but by the eighth chapter I was getting too stressed and found myself glued to my computer 24/7 trying to keep up. Hold yourself to goals so you don't wind up abandoning the fic, but remember that you are your own boss and this is meant to be fun, so go easy on yourself. I'd also recommend getting several chapters finished BEFORE you even post the first one, to give yourself a head start. You think you have plenty of time but it's surprising how much time edits and rewrites can take.
It can be really scary to share your work with others. Writing is really hard, can be very personal, and it's an incredibly vulnerable feeling to put yourself out there like that and leave yourself open to the judgements of others. I was terrified when I first started to upload chapters because I just wasn't sure what reader etiquette was like. The last time I posted a fic was on FanFiction.net almost 10 years ago and ppl did not hold back their criticism (I think things have vastly improved since then or maybe AO3 readers are just nicer). I can't emphasize this enough: you are not obliged to take readers' criticisms/feedback whether they are constructive or not. I don't ever leave criticisms or corrections when I comment on other writers' stories; I honestly don't feel it's my place to do anything other than support them as they are sharing their talents for free. Some writers welcome constructive criticism, and will typically state that in the notes if they are open to it. I do not; it's why I have a beta reader. I did have one reader post a public comment correcting me on a couple things (one of which was a misunderstanding on their part) and I politely requested that in the future any corrections should be sent to me privately, not publicly shared.
Wow...I think that's a good start. I really hope at least some of these tips will be useful to you! Thanks for reaching out, feel free to do so again, and if you ever want to send some pages my way you are more than welcome to! Just remember, be kind to yourself and have patience bc seriously…
#seriously this turned out way longer than planned i'm so sorry anon#but i had a lot of feelings and thoughts to share and i'm just so flattered you think highly enough of me to ask#long post#asks#writing is hard#tips for writers#writing#creative writing#good investments#but also invest in yourself#fan fiction
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石田お寿司 12/9/21 stream translation Part 9
This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk.
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(t/n: ** means translation may not be accurate.)
I: How are the contents on Sushi’s channel? What should I do on my channel? I thought I wanted to just do as I please with this channel, but are there any contents I can do? I don’t mean I wanna do things to expand my subscribers or do projects (eg. 30,000 commemoration project) for my channel. Rather, is there anything interesting thing for me to do? Don’t youtubers always narrow down the type of contents they make in their channel? Some create sub channels. It’ll be suffocating for me if I do that, so I’ll create any kind of contents that I want. If you guys have any requests, I don’t mind doing it If I feel like it. If don’t wanna do it, I won’t. I think Q&A is a good idea. We’re going back to this topic. Everyone does Q&A, it can fill in the time as well. Ishida Sushi’s special life consultation feat. people die eventually. Something like ‘Special Life Consultation: People Die Eventually.” Hehehe. Something like that. A despair episode. But then, I’d look despair. But trouble consultation is quite heavy. If I received very serious questions then, I’ve no choice but to reject them. I want to answer as many questions as I can, but that kind of question is a bit…I don’t want people to take my words seriously regarding life and death. I don’t wanna be responsible for their lives.
*Someone commented that it’s better to put question box on insta story.
I: Really? They do that there? I see.
*Someone commented the title for the Q&A that Ishida had said and he pinned it.
Ishida Sushi’s life consultation: People die eventually.
I: The title is gonna be something like this. But then, there’ll only be questions related to this kind of stuffs. For example, suicide-related questions. “Don’t do it!” would be the only I answer I could give.
C: Everyone would look despair.
I: You’re right.
*Someone commented that Takahashi Kunimitsu did Q&A on instalive.
I: Seriously?! I wanted to see that! He received 100+ questions? Seems very tiring. I should not do it then. Seriously? Kunimitsu did something like that? I seriously wanted to see it. What kind of answers did he give? I seriously wanna see it! But it won’t be there anymore. Eh, really?! I wanted to see. What did he answer?
C: There’s a part of the live in insta highlight.
I: Really? How to see it? Tell me. I wanna see 2x.
C: He answered my question.
I: I see…
I: That’s nice. I want to consult him. I’d ask something like “People die eventually. What should I do about it?” He’d probably answer something like “Well, just live!” with a small laugh.
*Someone commented you can view the highlight on insta profile.
I: Insta profile! I see 2x. Can I take a look at it for a bit?
*Searching for Takahashi Kunimitsu’s insta.
C: Your keyboard sounds very nice. I also bought mechanical keyboard! (t/n: The comment was in eng.)
I: Yeah! It’s Elecom keyboard! It sounds nice! (t/n: He said this in eng.) I only use fixed keyboard buttons. The keyboard’s fn button is the one I definitely use. I made it fit my thumb. That’s the easiest way for me to use it.
*Someone commented about the adult website comment.
I: It’s here again? Yeah, it is! Thank you. Just let it pass by.
*Going back to searching for Mr. Takahashi’s insta.
C: Sensei, what to do when you’re so depressed?
I: That kind of thing happens. You can’t do anything about it. You can only struggle with it.
C: What made you start Choujin x? (t/n: this comment was in eng.)
*Ishida had trouble understanding the question.
I: Why did I start Choujin X? Is that what they meant?
*Ppl in the comment found Mr. Takahashi so easily.
I: Everyone is very good at searching. You guys searched it on insta? Really? It’s not a different person? I’ve been looking since forever.
*Looking through Osterreich’s insta.
I: How can I go to his insta?! I don’t know how to use insta! Damn!
*Finally found his account through google.
I: Is this it? Seems like it. It’s the real one! “I’m dead.” So dark! What is highlight? Is it this round thingy?
*Looking through Mr. Takahashi’s insta highlight.
I: Is it in writing? I thought he would talk in it. Is this the question box thingy in insta?
*Ishida reading Mr.Takahashi’s Q&A.
I: Let me read this for you guys. Haha. What a bad personality I have. “Have you ever felt loneliness? If you had, how do you deal with it?” “I have loneliness and I do feel lonely, but I don’t necessarily hate it. Being alone is very easy. If I’m in a very hard time, then I’ll call my friends.” So, he doesn’t hate that feeling. Since being alone is easy, he doesn’t hate it. I see. That’s a good answer.
*Someone commented that Mr.Takahashi talked about him.
I: He talked about me? What if he said awful things about me?
I: Ah, he skyped me today. I didn’t realise it. I just realise it now. Wait, I’m gonna look through his insta.
*Keep reading the Q&A.
I: How about I show this to everyone? Hahaha. He must doesn’t like this! Can I? Hahaha. Wait a min. I’m gonna do the worst thing ever. This is not the worst thing ever. It’s fine. This is made public, after all. If I can’t, then…Wait a min.
I: Alright, I’m gonna expose it. He did this in insta so that people could see it, didn’t he? What do you guys think? Do you think this is awful?
*Everyone commented that it’s okay.
C: It’s not awful, I don’t know if it’s okay to show in on screen.
I: That’s right.
I: Just reading is enough, I guess.
*Keep reading stuff about his friend.
I: Is there anything interesting?
I: “I always watch Ishida sensei’s stream with you in it. I would like to hear you converse with him again.” Is this the one you’re talking about? “It was a good timing at that time. I don’t know whether there’ll be another one. We do hang out in our private time, so maybe there’ll be one.” He’s expecting another. I see.
*Still reading.
I: Alright, let’s do this! Ishida Sushi’s simultaneous worldwide stream. I’m only energetic the day after I finish my manuscript. Only currently. A melancholic day will begin tomorrow.
C: Did you have any recommendations from the movies you’ve watch recently?
I: The one I didn’t watch before, but thought it was fun after I’ve seen it is Truman Show. I think it’s quite an old movie. I think everyone who watches this will find it entertaining. It’s starring Jim Carrey. I remember he went into depression. Has he gotten out of it yet? Jima Carrey is a good actor, right?
*He’s talking about the ending with a fan that’s watched the movie.
I: Everyone, please watch it. The ending is good, isn’t it?
C: Do you watch western movies subbed or dubbed?
I: I watch them dubbed when I’m working so that I won’t have to look at the sub. When I want to watch it leisurely, then subbed.
*Someone commented about eternal sunshine.
I: I’ve never seen that. I’ll memo it.
*Someone asked about shutter island.
I: I’ve watched that movie. (t/n: He’s giving spoiler, so I didn’t translate further.)
*Someone commented about Charlie’s angels.
I: I don’t watch it. I may have different view on shutter island if I watch in the present days. I was young at that time. I knew the ending so I watched the movie without enjoying it.** There are other highlights beside that, such as Leo’s acting. If we’re talking about Leo, I probably like Catch me if you can the most. I’ve only watched his movies when he’s already an old man. I’ve never even watched Titanic. I’ve only watched the older version of him, like Great Gatsby. I’ve never watched Inception, by the way. I’m thinking of watching it. I only know older Leo. Catch me if you can is a good movie, isn’t it? I’ve read the autobiography. When I read it, I found it to be questionable. I thought it was a fraudulent document. I kinda thought it was a forged document disguised as an autobiography.
*Someone asked about Harry Potter.
I: I’ve watched all of them. They are great, aren’t they? Harry Potter is a famous fantasy-genre masterpiece.
*Someone asked about Ocean Series.
I: I haven’t watched them, but I’m thinking of it. I’m gonna watch anything anyway.
I: People overseas have started joining the stream. As expected from a simultaneous worldwide stream.
C: Do you know SPEC? (t/n: SPEC is a Japanese drama.)
I: Yeah, I do know it.
C: Sirius Black is cool.
I: I don’t remember much about Sirius Black. Even though he played a central role in the story, I basically only remember Professor Snape. I hated Harry’s father to the max. He’s an unpleasant guy. That applies to Harry as well. He’s the kind of person who laughs at people’s failure. But the actor who played Sirius Black, Gary Oldman is cool. And then, I like Malfoy too. Malfoy’s a good character. Though he became a minor character towards the end. I can truly sympathise with him. I like his father too.
*Someone commented about Harry Potter’s Book ver. of Harry.
I: I see. So the Harry in the book is different. That happens.
*Someone commented about Narnia.
I: Oh yeah, there’s Narnia’s movie.
*Someone commented Professor McGonogall.
I: Professor McGonogall. What a name.
C: What manga did you read recently?
I: What was the title again? What manga did I read? But then, I watch movies and read books more than reading manga nowadays. I read the magazine issues as well. I used to be obsessed with Oshimi sensei’s Chi no Wadachi back then. Superior magazine has interesting stories.
*Someone commented Rod was in the chat.
I: Have a nice day. Oh, Rod is here? Hi Rod. Rod is here? Oh, he’s here. Hi Rod. Have a nice day.
*Someone commented that Rod has Saiko’s icon.
I: Oh, Rod has Saiko as his icon. I see. He’s said that before? Sorry. It’s hard for me to catch what he wrote because it’s in eng.
Rod: I will, you too.
I: I will. Oh, it’s true. The icon is Saiko. Did he draw that himself? Did you draw it? It’s a nice icon. I want to include Rod in my manga. Hahaha. I’ll make him an old passer-by in Choujin X.
Rod: Hi everyone.
I: Hahaha. What is this guy? Hahaha. Ultimately, what is he? I can explain him to everyone, but what is he actually? Basically, he’s someone who has been tweeting ‘Have a nice day’ to me for around 5 years. That’s Rod. He’s perhaps a Brazilian. If something happens to him, I wish he’d contact me. If he’s gone, it’ll be too sad. I’ll only offer my prayer to him if that happens. Take care of your health. Be careful of your health.
S******: If the tweets stopped, then something like that must’ve happened.
I: If the tweet didn’t come, I’d be wondering where he is. Then, I’d wait for his tweets for a bit. I tried tweeting him ‘Have a nice day’, but he didn’t reply back. Rod disappeared for like a year and a half. He probably had some mental health problem. He stopped tweeting to me, and then he came back a year after. I thought maybe he’s a bit down. It’s too heart breaking. Don’t you think so? He’s like an overseas friend to me. A pen pal. We’re connected in that way. I totally prefer Rod than Goubaru. (t/n: Their interaction is so wholesome.)
I: There’s a time when I couldn’t contact Goubaru. Everyone (probably the staffs) and I had promised to meet and hang out. We couldn’t reach Goubaru at all. I thought he’s already dead. Since he’s fat, he has a lot of health risks. I thought he might be dead. I thought that it’s unavoidable at that time. I was like “he’s gonna die? I see.” Well, you’ll die when it’s time.
*Someone commented that it’s good Goubaru’s still alive.
I: He’s alive but his some sort of a friend went to see him. There was a response when he rang the bell. That’s how we knew Goubaru’s alive. I seriously thought he’s dead. I thought that it couldn’t be helped because he looked like he’s dying. The rest of us was already gathered at the hang out place. We wondered what should we do. If we went to see him and found his dead body, we had to call the police. We already sent one person, but we wondered if we should send another one. The person who went to see him was a reliable one though. I thought we need to think about the people who already gathered. It’s not nice to just dismiss them, so we played games and had a good time. It was something like that. It has nothing to whether I like Goubaru or not. I was like “what should we do?” I was really scared. I thought he really might be dead.
Part 10
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ALL OF THEM LETS GO!!!!
welp i rbed both so lets do em all!! fuck it!!
pop - share an unpopular opinion you may have
austin powers 2 is better than austin powers 1 by a looooong shot im sorry the first one is such ass. but the second? literal art. felicity shagwell could easily own vanessa whatsherface
punk - last movie/tv show you watched
baz luhrmann great gatsby- i liked it... mostly!! hard to get into at first, but i enjoyed it as a hater of the book <3
classical - describe yourself in three words
kooky, creative, caring (idfk?)
country - what are you passionate about?
LOTSA THINGIES!! Art/creating stuff is my main passion since it's the thing I'm best at, i love coming up with concepts for movies, comics, etc. I also like to collect stuff, like records, comics, and toys! I also like to go out and take photos I guess?? Just experience the sweet city lyfe
indie - what fictional character do you relate the most to & why?
joker– LMFAOOO KIDDINGGG- i wasn't a huge fan of mitchells vs the machines but i really hashtag related to the daughter, katie mitchell. She’s the same flavour of quirky outsider as me, and just as vibrant and insane!! we need more fictional girlies like her
edm - have you been to a concert? if so, what concert was your favorite one?
yesss!! Ariana Grande and Gary Numan (weird combo ik) are the only ones i've seen SO FAR, they were both really good for different reasons.
rap - whats your favorite meme?
cupcakke remixes forever and always
jazz - what is your birthstone & star sign?
amethyst n pisces :)
hip hop - whats your favorite food?
CHOCOLAAAAATE. Any candy, actually. But if we’re talking actual food, i love pepperoni pizza w/ xtra cheese and chicken sammies <3
latin - do you believe in the paranormal?
nawwwwwwww when u die u die
r&b - describe your best friend
hilarious, willing to do anything, good listener, passionate, intelligent
gospel - are you a morning person or a night person?
Morning person fer suuuuure. I wake up at 6:30 and like to start my day as quickly as possible. I don’t think i’ve ever willingly stayed up past 12:30
opera - how do you know when you have a crush?
I dream about them as i fall asleep. So stupid but it's trueeee
k-pop - what is something you never understood?
pre-calculus. HATE that shit. idk how mathematicians enjoy themselves
reggae - give me a song recommendation
do i make you nervous by serena isioma :D
aaaand the next one!!
0: Height
5’3 (i think??)
1: Age
However old Betty White is now
2: Shoe size
7 ½-8
3: Do you smoke?
nauuuur
4: Do you drink?
NAUUUUUURRR
5: Do you take drugs?
NNNNNNAAAAAAUUUUUURRRR (hysterical laughter)
6: Age you get mistaken for
Seems to vary: either a young teenager or early 20s. idk what that says about me, but i don't think it's good
7: Have tattoos?
nopeeee
8: Want any tattoos?
been thinking about it? i'm kind of a wuss, but it would be nice to get a tiny non-visible one
9: Got any piercings?
used to. I got my ears done at Claires and then the earring started fusing into the ear and then– yeah.
10: Want any piercings?
I would love to piece my ears again but aagghhhh so much work. i was thinking about doing it before the end of the year, i want to wear funky earrings again </3
11: Best friend?
yeeeeeeessssssss !!!!
12: Relationship status
Single and not vibing :(
13: Biggest turn ons
Knows my weird animation stuff, really well dressed, intense eye contact, nice laugh, sense of humour
14: Biggest turn offs
obsessed w/ Tarantino or Disney movies (ppl who like them in a normal way are cool), gloomy, smells like old shoes, only talks about themselves, rude
15: Favorite movie
three-way tie between Mad Monster Party, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and The Haunted World of El Superbeasto
16: I’ll love you if…
you listen to me talk about my weirdo interests!! or if you like my art. that’s cool too <3
17: Someone you miss
my cat, who just left the room and abandoned me here
18: Most traumatic experience
the time i thought a bowl of grapefruit was watermelon and then ate it all. hated grapefruit ever since
19: A fact about your personality
I’m either super upbeat and giggly or sarcastic and mega judgy. Depends on who i'm with
20: What I hate most about myself
Kind of a doormat, afraid to take risks, stubborn, procrastinator, cares too much about what others think
21: What I love most about myself
Clever, outgoing (mostly), creative, always laughing, always looking for new things to be inspired by
22: What I want to be when I get older
Storyboard artist!!
23: My relationship with my sibling(s)
Haha imagine having siblings
24: My relationship with my parent(s)
ahmazziinnnggg!! They’re my favourite people in the world <3
25: My idea of a perfect date
movies and then dinner. or shopping and then dinner. I just like dinner ok???
26: My biggest pet peeves
messing up something i was really excited about, the sound of that type of plastic packaging they put popsicles in, talking/humming while i'm trying to focus, cashiers who don't stop pestering you about joining their rewards program, man buns
27: A description of the girl/boy I like
David Spade. just David Spade. we literally have 96% zodiac compatibility or something its meant to be
28: A description of the person I dislike the most
HAAAAA UMMMM loud, obnoxious, self-involved, always needs everything to be about them, outraged
29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend
to look like i knew a cool band
30: What I hate the most about work/school
wasting my time on something that i'm not passionate about and, in the end, will not benefit me at all
31: What my last text message says
probably something like “LMAOOOO”. that's all i know how to type
32: What words upset me the most
Failure. Literally just FAILURE. terrifying word.
33: What words make me feel the best about myself
smart, talented, inspirational idfk
34 &35: What I find attractive in women AND men
colourful makeup, huge shoes & thrifted fashion, nice laugh (again), always interested in what you're talking about, intellectually stimulating/always wanting to discuss stuff, good taste in music, kind and understanding
36: Where I would like to live
I like where I’m living now, but it would be cool to live in LA!
37: One of my insecurities
my teeth, which are getting better, but instead of being all sad boohoo about it, i play them up for laughs in my art
38: My childhood career choice
fashion designer, pop star, sitcom actress, voice actor, bass player, film director, screenwriter... yea it's a lot
39: My favorite ice cream flavor
neapolitan or birthday cake
40: Who I wish I could be
Mia Regan, my beloved </3
41: Where I want to be right now
amoeba records in LA! i haven't been to the new location yet and i really want tooOOOOO
42: The last thing I ate
timbiebs baby!!!
43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
YOU, VEZ!
44: A random fact about anything
Todd Rundgren (my fav musician Ever) worked on Donda, but got so sick of Kanye’s shit that he quit and Kanye probably removed all of his work.
tysm for asking vezzziIIEEEEE
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have you seen/would u recommend pacific rim 2? ive heard some things about newt and idk lol
I feel like Im in the minority that actually did think pru was fun but that being said it ended SO abruptly and with like three separate plotlines completely abandoned that I was really frustrated for days after watching it until I had processed everything and had time to think deeply about it lol it just seemed rly unfinished?? it feels like it was deliberately made as 1/2 of two sequels and there needs to be one more to tie everything up. actually I’m gonna ramble abt this bc I have a lot of thoughts (obvs spoilers under the cut)
the thing about the second one was that I genuinely was enjoying it right up until it ended because I swear to god the moment the end screen went up I yelled "what the fuck, that's it?" out loud into my bedroom bc I was so SHOCKED that THAT'S how it all ended, because it just seemed so incomplete?? Like it seemed like one half of a story, that will only be made whole if there's a third one to tie up all the plotlines that they didn't go through with in the second and if that's the case then I will be completely fine with it but if it doesn't or if they dont have a third one at all I will stay so frustrated lol. one silver lining to this is that the vibe of this movie was so different from the first that it almost feels easy to separate it and just imagine it as an AU if you prefer which is sort of nice; usually if a piece of media I like does something bad I feel all gutted and anxious and terrible that this is the canon I have to accept, but something abt this movie just made it feel like it was sort of a totally separate deal. maybe cuz only 3 of the original characters were in it idk
to start off: I felt like there were a couple of plotlines in it that were just sort of introduced and then never seen through which was very ????? Amara & Vik's weird hate-rivalry thing was one of them; Vik instantly has it out for Amara bc she’s jealous, which is a very interesting concept, and then this prompts Amara to become hostile right back at her, which is also a very interesting concept, and then it never got resolved at all? like they couldve done something really cool with those two but it just never went anywhere. and then there was sort of a weird love triangle thing happening between Jake and Nate and Jules that felt so weird bc it had no significance to the plot at all and it felt like it was only thrown in there for the sake of having ~romantic drama~ idk maybe I wasnt paying too much attention and there was more to it than that but it really just seemed like they wanted to put romance in there and didnt want to bother to put any work into it
BUT the thing about romantic sub plots is that THERE ALREADY WAAAAS OOOOOOOOONE which brings me to the biggest frustration I have w this movie because--and DISCLAIMER, this was also my favourite plot point of the movie bc it was by far the most interesting, the biggest reason for me enjoying the movie at all, and the bit I feel like should have had WAY more attention--Newt and Hermann were like legitimately in love in this movie I swear to god I was watching it and thinking “this is GENUINELY the most blatantly gay thing I’ve ever seen in a feature film and I know that straight ppl are very talented at writing gay romances completely by accident so it’s possible that they just accidentally did it this way but also it is REALLY goddamn obvious oh my gooood?” (and then I did a lot of frantic googling and found out that I was right and Charlie Day & Burn Gorman knew what the fuck they were doing and I felt so validated lol), and yet despite this, the movie had them speak for the last time almost at the halfway point of the film and then spend the entire second half apart and not talking at all and even at the post-credits scene where Jake and Newt talked for a bit Hermann wasn't there?? not even behind Jake to give Newt any searching glances?? Nothing??
dude...Newt being possessed by the precursors is a HUGELY interesting concept that actually makes sense and I wish it had had more attention. I’ve seen a lot of ppl say that pru butchered Newt’s character and I don’t 100% agree bc like...being possessed will change you lmao so while yes I’m obviously sad that he wasn’t himself, I feel like it made sense that he had a slight personality change, because it...wasn’t him anymore. we don’t really see the Newt we all fell in love with in the first movie. we THINK we’re seeing him, but halfway through we find out we’re wrong.
my critiques with that plotline are basically that I wish the reveal had happened a little bit later on, and I wish that it had been a little more obvious I guess?? like, we definitely get hints of it (when Hermann excitedly asks Newt to help him with a dangerous unorthodox project and Newt says “dude why are you doing something so risky when we’ve already got a good plan in motion? just wait for that to be done, it’s fine” and Hermann IS us, he IS the audience when he reacts, because this is a completely insane thing for Newt to say. Newt, who, in the first movie, was so obsessed with finding knowledge that he went behind the marshall’s back to literally risk his life doing something incredibly dangerous just to see what would happen? being given the opportunity to do the same kind of dangerous frivolous act and refusing? this is blatantly out of character, and Hermann is all of us when he’s shocked, “what, you mean you...won’t help me??” which means it wasn’t bad writing on their part, it was purposefully supposed to stand out as something that was wrong and something that we needed to pay attention to. that was a really good scene to hint that something was Not Right with Newt), and I wish there had been a bunch more like it. I think the reveal should have been saved for the end of the second act; I think that should have been the moment that act 2 of a story usually has, that dreadful event that happens that leaves the main characters feeling completely hopeless and unsure what to do.
I also wish that he had managed to break through more than That One Scene, I think it would’ve been more dramatic if he’d had a few moments where he managed to take control for a second to remind us that he’s still in there and still fighting, and I’m sad they didn’t do that. I saw a fan comic that touched on this idea and I think it’s brilliant, even the idea of him suddenly getting a nosebleed and acting distracted to show that that’s the Real Him trying to fight through would have been sooooooooo good.
I also feel like it didn’t make any sense for Nate to be the one to subdue him in the end, I dont even think those two interact at all so like, why was it him?? it would have been so much more dramatic and heartbreaking if Hermann had been the one to confront him so they could’ve had a little conversation on the roof where Newt could once again break through for a second before getting taken over and then Hermann could like idk have a taser hidden behind him that he uses to subdue him and THAT wouldve been a way sadder and more interesting way to do it. I also think Hermann shouldve been the one to speak to him in the post credits scene, or to have him in the background behind Jake just watching him sadly so we can get a couple shots of intense eye contact like UGH I just wish there had been more interaction between the two of them after the reveal happened!! When the movie was over and I realized they never spoke again I felt so upset!!! they're soulmates!! they're literally in love!! this has been CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and segueing in from the soulmate thing, another thing that made me sad was that nobody came in pairs anymore :( aside from Newt and Hermann, they were the only ones gjdfk but in the first one every character had another character that they were paired up with, both for drifting reasons and just for plot reasons (except Chau and Tendo but I’m pretty sure there's actually significance to that too), and in the second one it just sort of felt like everyone was drifting with each other with no strong connection needed and that made it feel way less special. granted, the movie takes place ten years after the first one so in that time maybe technology advanced to the point where you didn't need a strong neural connection to drift anymore, but for the sake of the story it would have been way better if they'd kept the whole soulmates concept from the first one, it made it way stronger and more special
so yeah in conclusion I did think pru was enjoyable and I probably would watch it again some time but also it definitely pales in comparison to the first one and I’m desperately hoping we get one more so they can tie everything together and FIX THINGS KFGH it’s not too late!!!!! I wish I could write Pacific Rim 3 I genuinely think I would do a good job I love storytelling and I’m very passionate about these characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#ramblings#Anonymous#ask#this is really long but please interact I've been dying to talk about this for weeks now
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rules: answer the 30 questions and tag 10 blogs you'd like to know better!
thank you @lemon-bat for tagging me!! <33
1. name/nickname: char / jude
2. gender: female
3. star sign: cancer
4. height: 5'5 but literally everyone in my life argues with me about it so i could be shorter lmfao
5. time: 6:02 pm
6. birthday: june 22nd baby!!
7. favorite bands: metronomy, gorillaz and the front bottoms, they all hold a special place in my heart
8. favorite solo artists: wayyy too many, rn i’ve been listening to a lot of willow smith, ariana grande and doja cat tho!
9. song stuck in my head: wiley - too many man, don’t ask why it’s just really been scratching the right part of my brain recently
10. last movie: mitchells vs the machines! (highly recommend its such a sweet n fun movie)
11. last show: bojack horseman
12. when did i create this blog: 2013 in august apparently,, my blogs nearly a decade old we love to see it
13. what i post: anything i want honestly, mostly things i find funny if im feeling down!! also any cool art i see C:
14. last thing googled: new girl order
15. other blogs: @ufotears but i haven’t posted in like years i think??
16. do i get asks: not anymore but asks make me kinda nervous anyway haha
17. why i chose my url: it was really just how i portrayed my life at the time, i felt like my youth was being prohibited from me and all i rly had was tumblr to vent abt it. it feels kind of edgy now i wanna change it pff
18. following: 226, defo wanna find more ppl to follow tho!
19. followers: 544
20. average hours of sleep: 6 or 7, i try to aim for 8 but never get it
21. lucky number: i don’t have one!
22. instruments: i can play a few chords on a guitar, gave it up ages ago tho
23. what am i wearing: bambi pjs
24. dream trip: I want to go to madurodam in the netherlands so bad! also shopping in tokyo!
25. favorite food: chili vodka pasta has my heart forever
26. nationality: irish
27. favorite song: rheya - wild nothing
28. last book read: percy jackson and the titans curse
29. top three fictional universes i'd like to live in: any sanrio universe. that’s it, that is all.
30. favorite color: red or peachy pink or baby blue, it changes between these three a lot
i’m gonna tag @nofunatall cos they’re cool & @bossbabysassistant if they ever see it lmaoo but that’s all !! peace out thanks again @lemon-bat for the tag <3
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Hiii!! I was hoping to get a matchup please? If you don’t mind. Btw, I love your blog and the content you make!!!
I’m about 5’5, I have super duper short dark curly hair (it kind of looks like a fro/mullet), tan, brown eyes, slim thiCC, I love to joke around with people I’m comfortable with and I tend to start laughing before I can finish my joke, I can be a ball of energy at times but when it comes to my school work I get serious and sometimes I tend to over achieve when doing my work. In my free time I enjoy reading and listening to music. I love watching shows and I really love sitcoms (my top favorites are That 70s Show and Friends). I love watching fantasy and horror movies. I like to sing. I wear glasses. I’m not the athletic type although I’m trying to be (key word: trying). I’m an ambivert, when I’m feeling social I can make friends fairly easily, for the most part however I tend to keep to myself unless I’m with friends or ppl I’m comfortable with. I’m very jumpy and loud noises make me anxious. I get mad easily but I tend to get over things fairly quickly. I’m very passionate when it comes to my opinions/views on things. I love learning about psychology and how the human mind works. I also tend to collect bits of random facts/information and tell people about it.
I literally love you
Warnings: None.
Incarnation: Any
Extra Info: I could see you being Best Friends with Leo
I match you with…
Mikey!
Will start laughing before you do during a joke, which would often be why you start laughing in the first place
Bakes you things while you’re working on school work/overachieving to make sure you’re taking care of yourself
He loves your hair
He will get audiobooks of your favorite books so he can ‘read’ them
(He always has been a more auditorial when it came to reading)
He will recommend his favorite songs for you, as long as you recommend your favorites
He will help you become more athletic if you want him to
He will watch the entire series of “Friends” and “That 70s Show.”
He will watch your favorite movies because he’s quite the fantasy fan
(Not the biggest fan of horror, though, because Raph has scarred him for life because of Stephen King’s stories)
Is rather used to loud noises, since he lives with Raph, but will send an unusually evil glare to whoever makes a loud noise in your presence
He will 100% listen to you talk about psychology and whatever fun facts you have to tell him
(The 2 AM conversations you two have are legendary)
Doesn’t fully understand what it’s like to be “keeping to yourself” so he offers to sit with you as he makes small spray painting portraits
(Like those guys you’d see in Times Square or somewhere on the streets of NYC)
Will personally fight anyone who stands against the things you passionate about
Especially social justice
You are the perfect height for top-of-head kisses
#tmnt#tmnt headcanon#tmnt matchup#tmnt leonardo#tmnt leo#tmnt raphael#tmnt raph#tmnt donatello#tmnt donnie#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt mikey#tmnt 2007#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2014#tmnt 2016#tmnt nick#tmnt x reader
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Collection of asks 2 - BTSandVMIN
I had to make a second one because the length of the first one was getting way too long. If you are curious about some of my older asks here is the link to my first collection post - Collection of asks - BTSandVMIN
I have this post because I feel some of the asks I answer are worth saving, for me personally, and perhaps for you as well. But I don’t want to put them all in my Masterpost where I want to keep it a bit more structured for my longer posts and analysis. So for asks that are more about answering specific questions or about general things or my feelings I will put them here.
Asks are written more in the moment than my usual posts, so they might be less accurate as it’s all mostly from the top of my head. The newest ones will actually be on top, and then they will get older going down the list. I’ll update it regularly as I answer more asks. :)
Look at jhope's interaction with maknae line
Sorry for spamming with asks
You're so right about how any ship can be possible if you focus on it
I reject any idea of a couple being pushed to protect another
What do you think of vmin’s busan forehead kiss?
About tae changing the choreo of fake love
What do you think of that famous ji/kook trip together ?
"Friends" doesn't speak about a friendship to me and the title seems like a way to "hide" the true meaning. Thoughts?
I honestly do feel his "best" friend is only ever needed when it's convenient to him
When j/k wore matching shirts asked them something like are u guys dating Its so differnt from his rn to vmin
Looking at th and jm for what they are or represented to be their bond shouldn't be taken at face value. Just reminding that jealousy amongst bandmates do exist
Jimin kissed tae on the pretext of kissing tanny. tae blanked out for a few secs after that
Jin in Jimins Festa profile this yr called Tae his "Bf" and then the next word is "best friend"
I dont think vmin or any other ship in bts for that matter are in any form of relationship right now.
Kind of agree with vmin not spending much time together outside of work & things they do/say barely even give off that "possibly a couple" vibe in general
IF feelings are involved, who do you think fell first and why?
You already said that you ship them, but do you think that they're real?
I found it kinda weird how jimin apparently "didn't know" 4 o'clock was inspired by him
Have u seen that one radio interview in the past Th openly called out jm for liking men?
We never see them hangout tgt I mean we have seen ji/kook tgt more often and tae with his wooga squad
What did you think about jimin playing the video game using tae's acc while the latter looked from behind?
When tae posted 'lets keep going for a long time i only have u' they probably only knew e/o for about 2 yrs and now we also know that at that time they still argued and fought with e/o alot. Yet they felt so strongly for their frienship.
What are your thoughts about tae choosing " my time " to recommend it to a non army.
If we look at their personalities tae is more of introverted and shy these days while jimin is more outgoing and loud. But when it comes the them jimin is always the one who seems cautious
Is it my imagination or is Jimin VERY loud lately? I feel like the roles have somehow been reversed.
The timeline of the dumpling incident really confuses me.
Why do i feel like vmin dont hangout outside of work anymore
Just read your ji/kook vs vmin post regarding festa and I agree. you can tell that jm gets very serious when it comes to tae
A possible sexual relationship between Jimin and Tae. I've seen subtle hints where this might be happening behind the scenes like the recent bang bang con
Whenever joon says stuff like 'what a nice friendship/bcoz he is your friend' vmin have a very neutral or blank face
When do you think their friendship turned into something more?
Did u see how tae coloured jimin's name on the soft board with purple.
Jimin recently in this festa says jk is his soul brother
Nj nearly always tries to underplay vmin's bond.
Sweet Night: “Sharing my fragile truth That I still hope the door is open Door'
I feel like jimin was reluctant to talk about the dumpling incident probably bcoz it involves him getting drunk?
Your opinion on the whole "that's smth a couple would do" "you two look like a couple" for ji/kook vs "it's cause he's your friend "
What ur opinion is on the new kdrama that is based on homosexuality.
Tae has many a times mentioned wanting to have kids or wanting to be father.
Taehyung has always talked about having a family, children and wife etc.
I personally feel the maknae line in general have been advised not to do lives alone tgt bcoz of the intense shipping
I spend hours reading your posts and I could never get tired of it
I have a doubt about vmin recently V is so close to JK it seems like V avoiding jimin
Taehyung talked about the movie Call Me by Your Name and its soundtrack
I honestly like how unpopular vmin are.
Let's say JM and TH have other partners - do you think said partners would be okay with a whole song of vmin declaring each other as soulmates?
In the end there is no moment that is unique to a ship. do you agree?
Some vlives are arranged by the company and sometimes members themselves when the find free time they go live.
What was the point of making a decision tght to come on vlive tgh infront of the fan to then not do it?
It cant be the company stopping v and jm from doing a live can it?
Do you the think the reason vmin dont do vlive is because taehyung's feelings are one sided?
Theory on a possible reason on why vmin has not gone to do a vlive on their own for so long?
On bon voyage 3 j hope mentions how v and jk were hugging each other in their sleep.
Ji/kook is obvious (ear nibble) and Tae reacting blank to Vmin moments
But why they dont have funny bro handshake like v/kook?
You are so delusional like seriously how do you function in real life
You know how vmin called eo soulmates. The term can also be taken in a platonic way too right
If there’s a real ship in bts, can you give me your opinion on who?
Tae kissing jimin's cheek after they won an award in some music show (About ship edits)
I think vmin is real. Can you do a Sweet night analysis because in my opion the song dosen't match with the drama
Why are you a Vmin shipper if you don't think Jimin is gay or at least bisexual?
I don't blame V and Jimin for not doing Vlive together
You know that blurry picture of vmin in 2014?
Tae and jk seem like the members who are most non straight to u and also that jimin might be straight so then isnt it more possible for t**k***k to be the couple?
Do you think that vmin are straight?
Can you tell me what makes you think jk is not straight
Ppl connect sweet night and 4 o' clock with vmin After tae's live yesterday n i m also seeing some ppl being offended by it.
Why do I sense that Tae has more of crush on Jimin (and realized it) but Jimi is oblivious?
Will you still publish that long vmin and lgbt in korea analysis.
Even namjoon said they should go live to discuss about their song.
I dont really consider minjoon vlive as one they did themselves. it was mostly organised by the company
Maknae line avoid vlives and its really weird that jimi would do it with rm but not tae
Shouldnt it be easy for them to go live tght than anyone else?
Tae is very reluctant or scared to do a vlive with jimin
In the past month when vmin did mention about the song they just made superficial comments
Hi 💙 do you write vmin fics?
I also feel that jm is nervous to talk about the song even though he said he will in the comeback show
If jimin doesn't go live today as well maybe we can get a vmin live?
Vmin antis say vmin are not friends irl and use the fact that they are never spotted hanging out offscreen as "proof"
Will you do a Vmin throwback - 2019?
Can we even be considered delulu anymore for thinking not all of this is a coincidence?
Sweet night doesn't really fit the couple relationship in the drama
What do you mean when you say 'not being delulu'?
I dont know why after listening to sweet night i feel very nervous?
Maybe the lyrics to SN are very well just about the drama/webtoon.
Do you think the songs lie and stigma are related ?
Namjoon talking about Friends 2 - Making excuses
Namjoon talking about Friends 1 - Can’t write about them
About the “Hello my alien” line in Friends
Do you think they gone do fansing this period of promoting?
Jm said when he wants to make and gift a song if he finds someone he loves and he actually helped write n produce the melody of chingu
Omg Ive been crying over the vmin song lyrics ever since they came out.
Thoughts about the song and what you took out of it
Its not a light hearted thing to call each other soulmate
This kind of debunks the christmas song theory… i feel sad like they are commercialising their friendship
Jimin is partly involved in the making and it will be about Jimin and Tae’s bond
I fear that vmin will become the next larry
Chrismats song, smile awards. Arent those awards previously decided and even the words written for them by the company?
I was wondering if you're going to write something about bv4 and all the vmin we got there
Do you think that vmin say they love each other truly or for fan service?
Recently i watched a vkook video to compare
Do you know how exactly vmin met?
Whenever I do get the chance to focus on Vmin it’s usully one of three things
At the airport Tae had his arm around Jimin's shoulder but removed it quickly when they arrived in front of the cameras.
I don’t care if people don’t ship Vmin romantically. But with Vmin doing things like this you can’t really blame us if we do.
I got a looooot of asks on the Christmas song and I will adress the ones I have left all in one go
The reaction in bv was probably cause he wants to visits there and jm got there first
Vmin talked about tannie and how they went to visit tannie at tae's parents house
Just do it how you feel comfortable, we are waiting for your analysis
What video is the gif you post with this : Jimin and V talking about going to the Sapporo snow festival and playing in the snow together
This break was an opportunity for them to be around other friends and family so maybe they just wanted to spend this time apart
Do you really think vm are soulmates? Sometimes i feel like we might be over using this word for them
Once again thank you for all the asks you send! And also sorry for not being able to keep up and answer them all. I’ll try to answer some old ones as well whenever I can, and I will keep adding some of them to this list. I hope you found something interesting. Thanks for reading!
#vmin#vmin analysis#btsandvmin#Btsandvmin ask#btsandvmin masterpost#vmin masterpost#Btsandvmin answer#95z is love#my post#keep loving vmin
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3, 8, 22?
love u!
3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?
ye! any extreme-anythings i unfollow (as! u! know!). or like, anyone who just posts negative stuff all the time. what i wanna get better at is blocking, but i also like to keep my eyes open for some nice juicy drama smtimes 👀
8. Have you ever received anon hate? What about?
i actually don’t get anon hate thankfully. only did once bc of l*rry, but that was it. ig im kinda lucky in that aspect, most of my mutuals have gotten some rlly bad anon hate before n i’ve always been like o.O
22. Popular character you hate?
i really...don’t...do that. like, i just don’t hate characters??? why waste my energy? most ppl have redeemable qualities (unless their written to be completely bleugh) so i never fully hate them, and if i i ever do, i just stop watching the show/movies? like, i stopped watching friends bc of ross n rachel. or, i stopped watching Vikings because (spoiler alert) Athelstan died n he was my favourite character. it’s that simple for me. i literally don’t like wasting my time n i really only watch things for the characters.
so, yeah, i don’t hate any mcu characters. usually, if i avoid a character or content surrounding said character, it’s because of the fandoms – like loki. mcu peter? just wish he was written better. n that’s all there is to it 🤷♀️
(on a sidenote: i did actually watch one show with a character i hated! but it was so fucking beautifully written and plotted, so raw and real...god. really makes you think, and feel. it was amazing. like, it’s not a petty little hatred you feel for him, it’s real, it’s a scary amount of hate you feel for him. and because he’s based off a real person, it makes you kind of just. sit back and think about your mentality.
i wish i could forget and rewatch it, but if you ever wanna watch, it’s called ‘The Terror’. i gave you no spoilers as to who the character was n everything so u should be good <3 don’t watch if u don’t like gore, n like. this show is very disturbing. only because u witness how utterly human it is. so, watch out for that. highly recommend tho.)
#this wasnt supposed to be long but then i remembered#but yeah! thank u mayyyy <3#salty asks#one more n then i Go
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i’m mostly alright with kinning as long as they don’t go overboard with it i guess. i’d never do it myself tho it’s a little too weird for me to try out. but as long as the ppl who do do it are comfortable & don’t fight with others i guess there’s no harm in it. but only for fictional characters there are some ppl who identify as other irl ppl & that’s way too weird. like it feels kinda like identity theft when they do stuff like steal their pics & post as if they’re actually them tho
Er, yeah. That...that is identity theft. Like, I’m pretty sure that it is by definition. Or catfishing, I think it’s also called. Not really sure. Either way, yeah, PSA...don’t do that. Unless it’s like, roleplay or something, I try not to judge...but definitely don’t do it publicly or anything. It kind of reminds me of how people will occasionally ship real world celebrities together, which is also rather creepy and I would not recommend. I mean, that’s usually done because the actors play love interests on some movie or show...in which case, just ship the characters they play instead, it’s not that hard...either way, yeah. Fiction is one thing, fictional characters aren’t real. Gotta draw the line at actual living people. This is why I try not to speculate on the backgrounds of different content creators’ lives. Not unless they’re long dead, and part of history. Sure, we can all draw inferences to what was going on backstage and behind closed doors during different projects, but at the end of the day, we don’t really know, and it’s not our business.
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i was tagged my the lovely @theleavesoflorien to answer these questions, so here goes :))
1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen?
blue actually! but idk why
2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?
the country ideally, bc cities are just too noisy, too grey, too many people. but on the other hand, ppl in the country are boring af... so. guess i could live anywhere where i had some peace and quiet and nature on the one hand, and some interesting ppl on the other - one can dream ig, lol
3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?
any skill would be nice X’D but i guess writing, always. and not being a procrastinator. just being able to focus and actually finish/achieve smth. would be great (if that’s even a “skill”)
4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?
coffee sometimes (aka when it’s bad coffee lol); tea never (tho i’d put in honey sometimes)
5. What was your favourite book as a child?
gosh i have no idea. i remember liking most books by Marc De Bel and Patrick Lagrou (both Flemish writers) and then as a teenager ig it had to be Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!
6. Do you prefer baths or showers?
i like both, but maybe baths, which have that additional element of “i’ve got time to relax rn” which is always great
7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be?
werewolf :’) or smth that lives in the ocean (not a mermaid tho, i’m not 12) like a giant turtle or smth, or some big cat (i don’t know my mythology wow), or a dragon :33333
8. Paper or electronic books?
paper! ♥ which goes against my eco principles but i just loooove books and can’t get myself to read on a screen
9. What is your favourite item of clothing?
my mom jeans :’)
10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it?
i don’t like it at all D: if money wasn’t a factor, i probably would’ve changed it already, sorry @ my parents but yes
11. Who is a mentor to you?
George Harrison :’)
12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for?
writing fantasy/scifi books or shows/movies pls and thanks ♥
13. Are you a restless sleeper?
i sleep like a log, which ig is why i wake up feeling like one XD
14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person?
lol. i used to... guess deep down i still am, even tho i’ve completely embraced ace/aro life for now. would never go for any of that sappy stuff tho, but some epic kind of soulmates love, i’m one of the idiots who believes in that shit :’)
15. Which element best represents you?
water ♥ and i guess air to a certain extent
16. Who do you want to be closer to?
lmao @theleavesoflorien, Henry Cavill, HARD SAME :’))) or Dhani Harrison for that matter :3 ~the 2 Main Platonic Baes~ but in all realness, i’d just wish i had any rl friends that i vibed with on a soul level /rip
17. Do you miss someone at the moment?
my brother i guess, always ♥
18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.
re-enacting The Lion King with my brother XD and generally just making up stories with him - @theleavesoflorien, we did the radio shows/quizzes too! brilliant XD
19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?
fermented shark, in Iceland. i highkey would not recommend
20. What are you most thankful for?
still being alive i suppose :’) tho sometimes these days i wish i wasn’t. also, great music, books, tv shows, movies ♥ and whatever unspoiled nature we still have
21. Do you like spicy food?
sure! tho not like really spicy ig
22. Have you ever met someone famous?
i met Michael Palin in 2018 at a book signing ♥_♥ after a talk he did. and i said i’d liked the talk and he said thanks :’))))) also met Terry Gilliam last year and we talked for 2 secs ♥ and ig there were others but i can’t remember right now. oh yeah, talked to Finn Jones at a con one time :’)
23. Do you keep a diary or journal?
lol yeah like about 5 of them XD all for different aspects of my life i suppose. i have the worst memory in the world, so i need this to literally remember things
24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?
pen
25. What is your star sign?
cancer sun / leo moon / scorpio rising
26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?
oh my fuck who would like soggy cereal o_____O
27. What would you want your legacy to be?
idk, just generally being remembered at all would be nice. would be great to have contributed something noticeable, but having made people happy in some way at all would do ig
28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read?
LMAO yes :’) i’m reading a few dozen atm, but the last one i finished was Sign of Chaos by Roger Zelazny, part of the Amber series i’ve read about 6 times now instead of reading new things
29. How do you show someone you love them?
no idea :’)) just be there for them ig. giving them some of my time must mean i love them bc i loooovvvveee my time :’)
30. Do you like ice in your drinks?
not really actually. if it needs to be cold i’d rather just have it chilled than have ice in it
31. What are you afraid of?
dying without really having lived :’) /harsh truths hour
32. What is your favourite scent?
peaches, basil, privet, monoï, ....
33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?
gosh, depends on the situation. i guess i’d say sir or madam (without the surname tho) and i mean older as in at least 20y older
34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?
not working for anyone else another day in my life. except if i found something i really want to get behind and put some effort in. hopefully write for pleasure tho, which would hopefully come easier since i wouldn’t be stressed at all times. i’d like to live near the ocean and the jungle, surrounded by a only few but likeminded people ♥
35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?
love ♥ the ocean, tho i also scares me lol. would say a natural pool or a lake without too many weeds in it :’)
36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?
take it ofc
37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?
oh yes! i always make a wish :) and the same one each time too
38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?
that they’re okay, that of course growth is important, but that they’re enough as they are, and only have to change if they want it, not for anyone else. i’d try to teach them empathy and respect for all beings and the earth we live on
39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?
got three already, but i’m contemplating George Harrison’s squiggly sun drawing from his Here Comes the Sun manuscript, maybe on my ankle? still considering Tolkien’s dragon drawing too. an ॐ somewhere definitely, maybe combined with some lotus thing, idk yet..
40. What can you hear right now?
Pink Floyd - The Great Gig in the Sky (Live, from Pulse)
41. Where do you feel the safest?
in my flat. or in nature when there’s no one around. in fact i feel safe most places where there’s not too many people around
42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?
my procrastination
43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?
ooof, difficult choice. maybe just super far back to hunter-gatherer times tbh XD like okay, not that intellectually or spiritually developed, but still in touch with the actual earth we live on as simply another species, before assuming we were anything “more” or w/e, before any money or power or religion came into play ♥
44. What is your most used emoji?
i’m on the computer now so, hmmmm but: ok hand, and the crying emoji, and the two hearts, and ofc the “this is fine” content smiling one XD sorry idk how to describe it
45. Describe yourself using one word.
idiot
46. What do you regret the most?
not having taken my life into my own hands in my 20s... but i honestly try not to regret much anymore. i guess my 20s couldn’t have gone much different all things considered, and i did learn from them
47. Last movie you saw?
Mortal Kombat X’D
48. Last tv show you watched?
Red Dwarf ♥♥♥
49. Invent a word and its meaning
this is too difficult :’)))))
as usual i’m lazy and tag anyone who feels like doing this! ~♥
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hey!!! answer all those whump asks!!!! the ask the blogger whump edition ones. i want all of them
omg i got an ask!! yay thank you so much!!
Whats your name/nickname?
nickname is august
What’s your gender?
female
Which country do you live in?
us
What’s your first language?
english
How old are you?
21
Have any other blog on tumblr? Link them if you feel like it.
i would except i don't want ppl to find this blog kdhdjd most people think i'm just an angst lover..
What’s your favorite type of whumpee?
hmmm idk there's a lot i like, basically like a teenage or young adult male presenting, the nice ones, the kind soft ones, the capable but vulnerable ones, or just plain vulnerable ones
What is the main character trait you like to see in a whumpee?
as i said before i like the soft kind ones mostly but not only
Who is your favorite whumpee? (at the moment, or in general if you can)
in general natsume takashi, rn arata shindo (even tho the anime just ended :() and all charas from hoshiai no sora
Name one character you would love to see/read whump of but can’t find any.
oh shit there's gotta be so many ummmm is have to say mashima taichi from chihayafuru
Favorite whump trope?
UGHHH idk i really really like fainting and collapsing and eyes rolling back and weakness and FEVERS i think i just generally like sickness whump over violent whump (but violent whump is also good)
Least favorite whump trope? (any that you really, really don’t like?)
idk violence to the point of death and like really bad horrible torture to where the person is near death and bruised like that's just gross and ugh
Favorite physical injury?
hmmm.. idk if this counts as an "injury" but i really like choke situations (later their friend will say "what's that bruise on your neck?")
What’s your weapon of choice for inflicting any sort of injury to your whumpee? (Like a gun, a whip, a knife, a sword, whichever…)
ummmm ohhh how bout like poison gas (that's not a weapon is it...)
Favorite kind of trauma? (emotional/psychological whump)
ANY kind that makes the whumpee shake and collapse and hyperventilate
A whump show/movie/book you’d recommend right now?
natsume yuujinchou of course as usual and fma and psycho pass season 3 and BANANA FISH. most anime has at least a little whump in it
When was the last time you got butterflies/experienced good whump? What was it?
yesterday when i was watching the new episode of chihayafuru and mashima collapsed and fell asleep on the floor cause he was so tired and his friends carried him to a bed ❤️ i replayed it many times
Name 3 of your favorite whump blogs (or more if you want)
@whumpenia @geminihurt @animanga-whump @mypoorfaves @illnessandinjury
If you were a character in a whump scene, would you be the caretaker, the whumper, or the whumpee?
the caretaker all the way
How do you feel about medwhump?
i love it!!
Does anyone around you know that you’re a whumper? If so, tell us the story of how it went when you told someone.
lmfao no one does
When did you realize you were into whump?
i didn't really know what it was called and how to categorize it but i started watching random videos of people fainting when i was like 9 and i would always ask to play something called the "fainting game" with my cousins and siblings where they would pretend to pass out and i would be a "doctor" and lay them on the bed and fix them up
How did you find out about the whump community? When was it?
right when i made this blog lmao idk maybe like 6 months ago? maybe less? i had no idea it had a name and i was so happy idk how i found out about the word maybe it was a tag on a post or fic and i looked it up.
When did you create your whump blog if you have one?
lmao i always say too much info in my answers i said it in the last one
Are you on the whump chat? If so, give your username.
what whump chat? the one on here? i am in it idk if that's the right one tho
Give the episode/film title of that one whump scene you keep watching over and over again (don’t lie to us, we all have that scene)
i really like the scene from hyouka episode 7 where oreki passes out in the onsen and his friend has to carry him back and lay down a futon for him, it's longer than most whump scenes that's why i posted it with two parts
Do you write fics/create art? Is it whumpy? Give us a link if you feel like it.
no i don't create anything
How do you feel about noncon/dubcon?
i stay away from it
Ever written/drawn noncon/dubcon scenes?
no
What is your favorite whump trope, nsfw-wise?
don't really like anything nsfw-wise
Do you like reading/watching consensual role play scenes, in which one character/actor is getting punished/whumped by someone?
so like acting in tv? or does it mean like nsfw-wise? confuzzled
Do you like reading/watching nonconsensuel sex scenes? (yup, I’m talking about r*pe here. No shame in that, there’s a whole section of it on ao3)
absolutely not
Open wounds or bruises? Or neither?
open wounds cause they keep getting weaker
Screaming in pain or crying and whimpering?
crying and whimpering
Defiant or submissive?
submissive
Hurt or comfort?
comfort after hurt
Images or sounds?
images
#thank you so much for asking me!!!#im sorry im not sure how long ago this was sent....#i had a lot of fun with it!!!!#ask meme#ask#not whump
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My Decade in Books
The rules: respond to the prompt “my decade in books” however you want, & then tag some ppl! I chose a book or series to define each year of the decade, some w/a little description. You can do that, or make up your own response
Tagged by @brightbeautifulthings, @lizziethereader, and @magnetarmaddaboutbooks. Thank you!
2009 - My first full year of bookstore work! My second year of having very little self-control about book purchases! And yet somehow I don’t seem to have very many books logged as having been read this year, which I can kind of put down to not having much of a commute and spending more down-time writing, but I suspect I just plain forgot to log stuff too. In any case, this is the year I first read Austen (because P&P&Zombies had just come out and it looked horrible-awesome but I had to read the original first), and the year I discovered Seanan McGuire, and wow, it’s been 10 years since I read Ender’s Game, I could’ve sworn…. Apart from that, it doesn’t look like it was a great reading year. Lots of bad books on the list. (32 books for the year.)
2010 - The year of Jane Eyre and The Book Thief and Jonathan Strange (also, wow, that long?), so a good reading year overall even though I also had a lot of “this was fine” reads. This was also the first year I read a Connie Willis novel. I’m also fairly sure this is the year a coworker moved and sold me his bookcase for $20. (60 books for the year.)
2011 - Read this year: Ben Aaronovitch for the first time, Cloud Atlas. This was clearly near the height of my urban fantasy phase and also the year I was “nearly finished” The Trunk Novel because I was also reading lots of superhero stuff for comparisons. (60 books for the year.)
2012 - The year I seriously ODed on British settings/steampunk and resolved never to read so much of the same stuff back to back again. (Fifteen books.) I also burned through Blackout/All Clear and the Hunger Games novels (movie out!) and Amanda Hocking’s Trylle books, and reread LOTR, and went to England which did not help my OD problem whatsoever. This is the year of Howl’s Moving Castle and The Iliad and the year I really got into graphic novels, and also the year where the store I was working at closed and I moved locations, which means I obviously had to buy all the discount books I’d stashed in the staff room. I still hadn’t read a lot of those. Also I scored two bookcases for $20 during the store close. (68 books for the year.)
2013 - Read: The Years of Rice and Salt, A Canticle for Leibowitz, London Falling, Vanished KIngdoms, Saga Vol. 1, Fangirl, Sandman Vol. 1, my first cozy mystery. Nothing else really stands out as a highlight of the year, though by now I know I’d pretty much scrapped The Trunk Novel. Might be the year I gave my writing-brain a rest? I think this was the last year I was involved in book-Twitter and it was seriously getting me down. (71 books for the year.)
2014 - Hild, The Girl with All the Gifts, binged the Daughter of Smoke and Bone books, and ooh, yep, this is the year I got inspired for The Novel and started reading folklore and stuff for research. Also the year where I was going off urban fantasy in a big way, which is somewhat related to why I got inspired for writing again. (Also the year I said, “no more Thursday Next boos, they’re annoying you, stop.”) I went back to England for a longer visit, got an email from work about a David Mitchell meet-and-greet, and bought a copy of The Bone Clocks at a Waterstones in order to get it signed back in Canada. Mark Oshiro started his read-through of Discworld and I joined in, sort of, by counting his live readings as rereads. (80 books for the year.)
2015 - Lots of high ratings this year! The Martian! The Watchmaker of Filigree Street! A Darker Shade of Magic! The Golem and the Jinni! Leviathan Wakes! All the Light We Cannot See! Uprooted! Ms. Marvel! I waded through The Travels of Marco Polo for research purposes, and read a good handful of books that looked great but wound up disappointing. I joined Tumblr/booklr in November. (101 books for the year.)
2016 - Read The Canterbury Tales in Middle English and fell in love with it all over again! Also The Dark Lord of Derkholm and A Time of Gifts on my dad’s recommendation and POSSESSION and Yiddish for Pirates and The Untold Tale, which I discovered here on booklr. I also seem to have binged on a reread of the Vorkosigan Saga. And I found, bought, and read Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats because I hadn’t read it since I was a kid and had a plot bunny related to it. Also had a lot of disappointing reads, by the looks of it. (88 books for the year; wrap-up post.)
2017 - Discovered Curtis Craddock and Alice Oseman and Bob Proehl and S.A. Chakraborty and Eden Robinson, who I read as a possible comp-title. Read A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue and If We Were Villains (both from Tumblr.) Lots of rereads and a decent reading year all round, because I have a lot of 3-stars and higher. Some major disappointments too, though, like The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O. (96 books for the year; wrap-up post.)
2018 - Discovered my local library no longer seems to have the complete Chaucer that I’d borrowed for The Canterbury Tales read, because I really wanted to finish all his lesser poems and prose. I discovered Vivian Shaw and R.E. Stearns and Shaun Bythell and Rebecca Roanhorse, and true crime in the form of I’ll Be Gone in the Dark. This was the year of ace rep and YA! Had to do some major library rearranging and bought three IKEA bookcases which a friend helped me assemble. (91 books for the year; wrap-up post)
2019 - Alyssa Cole! Ruth Goodman! Sarah Waters! The Wolf in the Whale! Middlegame! A good chunk of which I read waiting for a Mumford and Sons concert to start. Reread Gulliver’s Travels and The Secret Garden and Good Omens (and then watched the show and got a bit back into the fandom). Also reread a bunch of Seanan McGuire and Ben Aaronovitch stuff. This was clearly a year of rereads and light reading in general, but that balanced out the true crime (5) and some really heavy, dense books. (96 books for the year; wrap-up post)
No idea who’s done this and who hasn’t, so if you want to do it, you’re tagged!
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There are just few words about “Frozen 2″ and two sisters...
Hey, well...Here i want to share my minds after watching beautiful movie - "Frozen 2"
First of all, I want to say that i'm big fan of "Elsanna" ship, i have so many arts, I've read so much fanfics and working on my own fanfic. But this post is not like "Come on, just do Elsanna canon! They are My OTP<3". I really love their relationship in the both movies, but...all fans always want more for their ships, ya know :D In this post I’m not gonna insult other ships. All fans can ship whatever they want. Respect others. Neutrality is the first step for piece...
Most importantly I wanted to say "Thank you, Disney, "Frozen 2" was beautiful! I've got what I needed!" We saw very deep relationship, there were not romantic things ofc, but just sister's warm hugs, holding hands, tears, looks, very big self-sacrifices especially from Anna's side. In this part Kristoff's role has grown, but still he is lost in the background of the sisters. “Frozen” was better in that time, because it was nonsense, and now we’ve got just a good sequel.
Now I’m thinking that Disney probably Made Elsa and Anna sisters at the start because it was too much if they were just 2 girls, loving each other (at least in the first part of Movie in 2013, coz they probably wasn't sure their movie could have so much fans and views!) And they decided to create just different kind of Love. True sister's love. But seriously, be clear and honest, they are more than sisters. They are soulmates, two parts of whole and everyone noticed it in Frozen and in Frozen 2 as well. I think Disney understood it too and Anna’s words: “Two sisters one head!”. And sometimes I regret that you chose that way, Disney...
It could be very grate tandem with two gorgeous girls from different worlds or kingdoms, loving each other and without some guy in the background who will be the husband of one of them someday. Remember that his kiss didn't work on Anna, it wasn't true love! Then why and for what you made him Anna's husband? Because Princess without Prince is not good enough for Disney Universe? Srsly...If you chose other way It could have big influence on homophobic community...And don't dare say that "This movie for kids, they don't need to know about gays". There is no one difference at all between 2 woman's/2 mans's kiss and kiss between woman and man. I'm saying it coz we saw and not just one kiss (its not true love, don't forget!) between Anna and Kristoff and Anna and Hans. Then why THIS is okay for you, homophobes? And kiss between Elsa and Honeymaren (just for example) is not?! Kids must to know, that they can love whoever they want, all kinds of love are right!
But you know, after so many years with tag #GiveElsaAGirlfriend (I taked part in in it too ofc...) in Twitter, ppl did a great joob and it had affected on Disney, now we have at least the chance for seeing first officially lesbian princess from Disney University in the "Frozen 3". Yes, next part is better for creating story about this. And I don't understand ppl who wanted see Elsa's romantic interest in this part of movie? We needed to know more things about Elsa, her magic, we needed to get important answers and Disney did it! We got very beautiful, strong, independent Elsa, founding her true essence and very pretty, and precious Anna who can be so brave and can't live without her guiding star - sister Elsa (remember scene in the cave and her song!) Just look at Elsa here, she is really beautiful! No one can argue with it.
Btw Disney did very good job and create magnificent songs in this movie, my favourites are "Show yourself" and "Into the unknown". Singing it day by day haha, very like Idina Menzel voice^^ I also don't mind if Elsa will have no romantic interest, and will be alone. She is a goddess after all she did :) And I'm also ok with lesbian Elsa even if with Honeymaren, but I would like it more if it was Anna of course, hehehe. I mean, if they weren't sisters, but I think it's too late to doing smth about it, create new story and saying "Guys, they are not sisters actually" (but who knows...?) At least thx for small Kristoff’s role in this movie...I don’t wanna see how far their relationship with Anna are going. No, Kristoff is a good character but this movie not about typical prince and princess.
Ok, just lets be grateful for existence of this beautiful movies and these two precious girls. <3
Anyway, I recommended this movie for everyone who aren’t seeing this yet, and I, as fan of Elsanna, liked all Elsanna’s moments in the second part of movie! I’m crushed oh these sisters even more!
And thx all for reading this post :)
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my life in 1129 words.
TW : acephobia, arophobia, drug use, anorexia, the process of queer self-identification and its hardship
Sexual and romantic attraction is weird.
You grow up for 20-ish years thinking that love is only between a man and a woman, that they create an entity and boom, that’s what your life is supposed to be like. I’m making an exaggeration out of it, but basically, this is what a majority of the population has been told.
I didn’t really have blinders that big, I was told about gay cismen when younger because one of my cousin was gay.
To really be honest, I started to question myself when I was around 15-16 years old. It was the start of high school and I had been talking to this girl for a really long time. We were living almost 700 kilometers away from each other but she was saving my life. I don’t know if I ever had a crush on her, but she had one on me, and at that time, it was something I needed. It was a really toxic relationship but, to be honest, I only ever had toxic relationships in my life so far.
I kissed someone for the first time, weeks before turning 23. Its not something I talk about openly to people, because,,, society expectations you know?
It was under influence, so that really is the number one reason I must have done it. But it was really great. Since then, I sometimes get the envy of wanting to kiss someone. When the kissing happened, it was nice but like,,,,, weird? I was into it but I didn’t wanna go further than that. The girl did want it, she told me, but she also knew I’m ace. So she didn’t push it, and it might also be the reason why I let it happen. Because I knew I was safe.
I identify as aromantic and asexual since around January 2019. This is also the time I got to know that this kind of sexual and romantic attraction/sexuality existed. Before I used to identity myself as a bi ciswoman, but without any sexual/romantic attraction. I just knew gender didn’t matter to me and I could date anyone, regardless of what they identify as and what was between their legs (i was 15, alright).
Knowing about the A part of the LGBTQIA+ changed my life. I had a breakdown for about a month, questioned myself pretty hard, thought I needed some help (therapy/meds) and even thought of fucking everything up. It was a really hard time. Looking back at it, I don’t really remember much of it, except the pain of it all. I cried a lot, I fell back into my anorexia habits, my self-confidence was nearing the -79920, I was living alone and cutting myself from the world. Anyway.
I don’t really remember when I started to think « I’m ace. And I might also be aro ». Its all very blurred but I know that I first came out in march 2019. First to my queer group of friends, and then to my closest friends by a text (worst thing ever, don’t recommend). Its still a bit hard with them, they accept it while not understanding it. Its always a bit weird, more so when im talking to others people in a « flirty » way. I’m confusing my friends a lot. Anyway. That’s a « I need attention but don’t like when ppl are too close to me so I push them back but I need to find someone new to like me so they can give me attention again » problem for myself.
I wrote this long ass text to my friends so I could put my thoughts in words. About how I never find people sexually attractive, how I never wanted to be in a relationship, how I forced myself to go on dates, how sex involving another person repulses me, how I have never wanted anything that society was telling me I wanted/needed. This was the turning point. I realized I have never wanted anything that was on ads, in tv shows and movies, that my friends/relatives were living.
When this realization come, and no one around you has ever talked to you about it, you question yourself. Or, at least, that’s what happened to me. Hence the breakdown part. Searching about it online, talking to some people, helped me. I can’t say I’m 100% ok with myself being aro-ace, but im starting to talk about it to other people. I’m not embracing it, how could I when I’m still hating myself for being that way?
Realizing that I was not heterosexual might have been easier. Coming out as bi also. Because it was becoming more normal at that time(what is normal, what normality are we talking about blabla). It was easier for me. I came out to my parents when I was in my senior high school year. They kinda knew it already, they just thought I was lesbian. Looking back at it makes me smile.
So far, they’ve really been accepting of me not fitting into the heteronormative bullshit. I’ve also been dropping some clues about me not being interested in relationships. They don’t understand it, like 95% of my people that are close and dear to me, but they understand that this is me. And they don’t push it.
I’m really lucky. I notice it by writing this long paper. I always had people loving me for who I was, am, even when they can’t really understand and get me. They support me, they push me to be better, at recognizing my mistakes, my flaws but also my qualities.
I know that I can never truly come out to my parents. I already know what they would tell me, and that would just be hurtful. I’ve found other ways to feel accepted : friends, social media, myself. Loving you for who you are is not easy everyday. But just trying can be enough sometimes.
I am aromantic and arosexual. I don’t ever want to be in a romantic relationship with someone, this doesn’t interest me. I am a sex-repulsed ace ciswoman. I like to cuddle, touch and play with peoples’ neck and knees. I don’t want to see someone private parts in a sex way. I don’t want to touch someone’s sex just like I don’t want them to touch mine.
This might change. Gender, sexual and romantic attraction are on a spectrum. I never thought I would like to kiss someone. But a year and 2 months after identifying myself as ace, here I was.
Being queer is weird. Acknowledging it changed and saved my life.
#my coming out story#lots of trigger warning#read with caution#aro#ace#aromantic#asexual#bisexual#asexuality#queer#pride month#happy pride
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