#it sucks that he had to kill one but . for mob ? literally anything goes
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oh nooo that's quite a bummer :( but i'm very glad that i helped brightening up your day :") tbh your writing brightens up my day too (≧▽≦)
AND WAIT I'VE BEEN ACTUALLY QUITE THINKING ABOUT WHETHER ZOMBIE MOB HAS FOUGHT OFF A ZOMBIE WHEN I ASKED IF HE HAS EVER BITTEN SOMEONE and since you brought it up, well, would be okay to ask about the details of how it went 👁️👁️ (also him fighting off a fellow zombie to protect tome got me sobbing)
- 🪻
aww im glad my silly little words brighten ur day!! ur so sweet :]
and yes, it went horribly <3! tome prolly wasn't paying attention as closely as she should've been and got herself surrounded by a crowd. to be clear, that's not Always dangerous, since zombies arent like,, after ur brains in this constantly. but these zombies did look quite hungry, and human or not, she looked like a good meal,,
she had wandered off a bit from mob n ritsu, but mob heard the commotion first. tome has a big fucking baseball bat in this au that she likes to swing around, but a baseball bat can only get u so far in terms of self defense. she thins the horde but there's simply too many of them
mob lets exactly One zombie grab her and yank her toward them before he goes ballistic
watching zombies fight is a lot closer to watching wild animals fight than anything else, and it gets quite horrid sometimes. since their bites aren't rly "dangerous" to each other beyond the typical Oh No a Chunk of Flesh is Gone (not even painful for them, since their nerves r.. less than functional), the fight is a lot more close up and gruesome than a fight against a zombie and a human would be. humans usually back away from zombies immediately and try not to touch them at all in fear of getting bitten; zombies don't need to care abt that
most of the horde realizes that this meal isn't going to be easy and they wander off, but a few more hungry, more desperate ones try to rip into mob's throat at the first sign of defiance. it's not exactly a fair fight; it's like 1 against 4, so he's sorta bound to lose
thankfully ritsu shows up and shoots two of them down (he's Terrified of shooting mob by accident, but either way he'll probably die, so) and tome gets the last one with a good swing to the head. ritsu rushes to mob and is horrified by the amount of blood dripping from his neck and his arm; tome is equally as shocked, but she's mostly thinking, "ive Never seen a zombie defend a human before"
mob's neck is thankfully mostly just scraped up and clawed, but there Is some gruesome punctures where canines sank in and tugged. it's a lot worse along his arm that's bitten and gouged beyond belief. he loses a lot of blood here, but the whole nerves-no-longer-work thing is a blessing in disguise atm; he'd be in a lot of pain otherwise. while ritsu and tome are patching him up w shaky hands he simply glares beyond their shoulders like he thinks he's still in danger, even when they tighten the bandages. it's like he barely notices what they’re doing
his strangely alert behavior makes them think abt the possibility that maybe mob Knows he could've easily been shredded apart there, and he's a little scared and worked up abt it. the only reason he managed to fight as long as he did without dying is prolly bc the other zombies weren't as well-fed as mob—they were kinda weak and shaky from days of no food, but mob has humans taking care of him and keeping him fed 24/7
they're all shaken up by it pretty good.. tome is still reeling from the fact that mob defended her so valiantly, and ritsu is quietly horrified by the idea of another zombie killing mob instead of a human. he doesn't know which is worse
#qktalks#anon#zombie au#this isn't the first time ritsu has had to kill a zombie btw ^#this is just the first time he's had to kill one since he started seeing zombies in a different light#it was either letting his brother die or killing a zombie. ritsu's upset that he had to make that decision at all#but he's not afraid to say that the decision was incredibly easy to make#it sucks that he had to kill one but . for mob ? literally anything goes#ritsu checked tome over after they took care of mob too. tome's very surprised when he's rly gentle abt it#ritsu's been known to .. lose his head a little in moments of stress#and sometimes he snaps at tome bc of it. he never means to he's just..worked up#but this time he's kinda fretting over her and it opens her eyes a little bit#ritsu has indeed grown to care abt tome a lot. they bicker Most of the time but it's usually not very serious#in all the excitement tome just hadn't rly realized that until now. ritsu is so high-strung that it's hard to get a read on his softer side#but now he's not just directing his softer side to his brother‚ but to tome as well#i have 15 more tags to explain smth i wanna make clear btw let's hope i don't start rambling abt smth else entirely#so i've been using a lot of vocabulary in these au posts that hint toward mob being ''special'' or ''abnormal'' in his behavior#he is not special or abnormal in any way#Every zombie is like that. every zombie has a personality‚ and a gentler demeanor hidden behind that desperate starvation#and remnants of their past selves in there somewhere#mob is simply one of the only zombies that have been taken in and cared for and treated like a sick person rather than a monster#as i've said before most people just.. either run away or shoot them between the eyes when crossing paths with a zombie#they don't give any of them a Chance. mob is a very very lucky zombie.#he is healthier than most other zombies and he is treated far better#and the way ritsu constantly talks to him is actually great for his health ! gets those rusty gears in his head rollin#exercises that brain‚ even if‚ to ritsu‚ he's only responding in odd gibberish#that's only one of the things ritsu gives him that other zombies never receive in their lifetimes#i'd say mob prolly ? has one of the longest ''zombie lifespans''#most zombies either die of starvation‚ dehydration‚ or sleep deprivation within a few weeks#he's lived a long zombie life !
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Ok so I've been playing with Mel's Mafia Jake AI and it got me thinking about what Miguel would be like for some reason??? Dude's half Irish so like, maybe he's a boss in the Irish mob. Maybe he took over for his dad and he kind of hates it (has always hated it) but there's really nothing else for him so what can be do? So he goes about his life, about his business, runs his side of things well. He's lonely at the top but he ignores it, doesn't think anyone else would understand the pressure that's on him...
Until he meets you.
It's some celebration (maybe St. Patrick's Day or something idk) and he sees you across the room/bar/whatever and you lock eyes and have A Moment™️ and he decides he has to talk to you. So he does and you hit it off from the get go. You're smart, witty, funny, sexy...just the whole package. He's basically in love, okay?
Then a boss (maybe a rival heheee 👀) from another city or section (or whatever idk how they divide the city up tbh lmao maybe I should've done more research 😭) comes up and he finds out: you're his wife/girlfriend and it's just like a punch in the gut for him. He's devastated. He's never ever wanted anything anyone else had that he couldn't take...until you. Youre kinda bummed too, you really enjoyed the time you spent with Miguel, and you (honestly) aren't a huge fan of your husband/boyfriend (maybe he's an idiot or just a dick idk).
But you guys keep running into each other, and the feelings between you keep growing, until the tension breaks and you hook up with him at another get together (he takes you against a wall, fast and hard, his hand over your mouth because you're moaning as he pushes inside, the stretch of him divine and he buries his face in your neck, his cock spearing in and out of your wet heat in sloppy, hard thrusts. You're both coming in minutes, his spend dripping out of you and down your legs. The sight is almost enough to make him take you again).
After, you both say it was a mistake, that you can't do this again, it won't end well. But neither of you can help it, sneaking off to meet up in random places so no one catches you (except that one time it happened in your bed 🫢). And and and.... yeah. 🫣
I'M SO. SORRY SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED TODAY
OK FIRST, EVERYONE CHECK OUT THIS FAN ART BY @darkfoxkirin -- the mafia!mig of MY DREAMS
PLS WHITNEY:
Maybe he took over for his dad and he kind of hates it (has always hated it) but there's really nothing else for him so what can be do? -> i could literally imagine him sitting on a throne, bored as fuck like 😒 damn this SUCKS lolll
He's lonely at the top -> PLEASE THIS IS GIVING THE MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING BUT IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH -- I NEED HIM AHH
you lock eyes and have A Moment™️ and he decides he has to talk to you. -> the moment™️ KILLS ME LOLL, but YES a love or lust at first sight (spoiler, its both). not only does he need to talk to you, he needs you.
But you guys keep running into each other...-> HEY THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPPH, YOU DIDN'T NEED TO DO ME LIKE THAT 0-0, IM MELTING BRUV -- AND THEY KEEP MEETING 🫠
---
ok so imagine that he's getting pressured to marry someone because as the boss, he's expected to have an heir to keep the business in the family.
he agrees to meet up with some aristocratic women just to get his advisors off his ass. it's not like he's taking them home or anything, he's merely meeting them at one of the clubs he owns or getting some dinner.
of course, during one of these 'dates' he bumps into you and your husband.
looks like he's not the only one trying to keep a low profile during the affair.
even though your two gangs are rivals, your husband politely greets miguel (though anyone within a 5 mile radius can hear the venom that simmers below his words).
"Mr. O'Hara, what a surprise to see you here..." you roll your eyes at the dick measuring contest. men can be so --
"Likewise."
miguel doesn't even look at him, barely even acknowledges his existence with his murmured reply. he's too busy looking at you in your pretty dress and the necklace that sits against your chest. he gave you it a few weeks ago, the last time he could get you alone.
he tries to catch your eye but you're not looking back at him, you're looking at the girl who clings to his arm.
both of you barely register that your husband is still talking, eyes devouring the woman who's clearly confused by the tension in the restaurant.
"...and who is this lovely thing?"
"this? oh, this is m..." damn, he forgot. SHIT, he literally just read her file in the car before picking her up. this may not be a real date, but he's not a dick!
she saves him the embarrassment, "I'm Melissa, nice to meet you." she offers a hand, expecting a handshake, but your husband takes it for a kiss. gross. even melissa look weirded out.
"So you're finally out in the field again?"
miguel looks at you warily, but you've been avoiding his eyes during this whole interaction.
"You could say that."
"Good for you." your husband reaches out and holds your hands in his from across the small round table, "It's about time us bachelors settle down."
miguel's jaw clenches, watching how uncomfortable you are being touched by him. "Sure. Look it was great catching up, but me and Melinda have a table waiting."
#MAFIA!MIGUEL#mafia au#AHHH I LOVE IT#MOOTS#screaming with moots#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara smut
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Chaz is a nothing character (Chaz Rant)
Chazwick Thurman is one of the two main antagonists in EXES and OHS alongside Crimson. I am going to make a blog in the future sharing my thoughts about Crimson. For this one, I’m going to talk about why I do not like Chaz at all and why I honestly don't even consider him to be a character of his own.
Ⅰ. He shares the same traits as many characters
One of the main things that lead me to conclude that Chaz doesn't have any defining character that sets him apart from the rest of the characters in Helluva Boss is that he shares the same character traits with the majority of the characters. That being he's horny and greedy. Those two traits are something that the majority of the characters in Helluva Boss share.
Stolas is horny, Blitzo is horny and greedy, Verosika is horny and somewhat greedy, Crimson is greedy, Fizzarolli and Asmodeus are most definitely horny, Cash Buckzo is greedy, and Martha is horny.
Those are characters I listed from the top of my head within the show and that's like a small portion of the total roster. The difference between those characters and Chaz is that Chaz doesn't have any uniqueness or anything that makes him stand out. The only thing that makes him stand out is that he's Moxxie and Millie's EX, but that barely matters because it's revealed that he will just sleep with anyone with no hesitation. Plus we never even got to see what he did that made Millie so pissed off in the first place, so we can just say that he's Moxxie's EX and move on.
Ⅱ. He's weak
Despite being a former member of Crimson's Mafia, Chaz is the most pathetic and weakest antagonist in Helluva Boss thus far. He's really afraid of Millie and cowers in fear whenever she goes crazy to the point that he hides behind his boss who's probably physically weaker than him for protection and he got killed by Crimson not long after Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzo escaped.
I honestly have no idea how this guy managed to get into Crimson's Mafia because he's literally the least threatening antagonist in the series and nothing can really convince me otherwise. You can argue that he can beat up Moxxie, but who couldn't? Even if he does he can't really stand up to Millie, he'll get turned into sushi.
Ⅲ. He's pretty stupid
I'd forgive the not being physically strong, if Chaz had some form of intelligence to him, but low and behold, he doesn't. Meaning that since he isn't threatening in the physical or mental department he's just an antagonist with no worth and what leads me to conclude this is his plan.
Chaz's plan sucks ass because it doesn't have much thought put into it and somehow Chaz really did expect it to work out. The first step was to rent a suit which is decent compared to the other steps.
His second step in his plan is to convince Crimson that he's rich, and he's extremely lucky that worked because as mentioned in previous posts, Crimson didn't check if Chaz was telling the truth or not because if Crimson did check if Chaz was telling the truth then Chaz would've died before the events of EXES and OHS.
His third step is to marry Moxxie and he should have believed that it would never work since Chaz literally left him behind the last time they saw each other. But it doesn't matter because Crimson did eventually force Moxxie into nearly marrying Chaz.
And the step that pisses me off the most is the fourth step being "???", like I know this is for the meme and all that, but the man is literally risking his life to steal the fortune of the most infamous mob boss in all of the Greed Ring. Chaz was not thinking ahead at all when making his plan.
And his 5th and last step is to profit, but how is he gonna profit if he doesn't have a 4th step? I would assume the 4th step involves him taking the money, but he doesn't know how to even do that.
It's extremely lucky that Chaz had managed to get past the second step of his plan and into the third step because of the writers hadn't decided to make Crimson dumb for the plot then Chaz would've not made an appearance in Helluva Boss. If Crimson was smart and if the writers decided to give Chaz an appearance then I'm pretty sure the only thing that would've appeared was Chaz's jaws mounted on Crimson's wall.
Ⅳ. His true purpose
Vivziepop stated in tweet on Twitter that Chaz was supposed to be an example that the show was not afraid of killing off characters. This is honestly a really bad example to make out of a character that died in the same episode they made their debut. Chaz is an absolutely horrendous character and when I saw his teeth about to be hung up on Crimson's wall, I was joyful because of how bland and annoying he was.
Usually, when creators of shows or other forms of fiction kill off characters to show that they're not afraid to kill off characters in stories, they usually use characters that are well-developed and actually well liked within the community or characters that go through development in the arc they are introduced and are suddenly killed off. A great example of this is Junpei from Jujutsu Kaisen. Junpei is a character in JJK introduced in the "Vs Mahito" Arc and is one of the central characters of that arc from Chapter 18 to Chapter 27 in the manga. A kid with issues in school who has the innate ability to see curses and used cursed techniques, but due to the manipulation of the main antagonist, the sudden death of his mother and the past trauma he had due to bullying in his school, Junpei uses his newfound abilities for evil such as attempting to kill his bullies. It isn't only until Yuji Itadori, the series’ main protagonist talks him out of becoming a mass murderer, but it's too late. The manipulator, Mahito suddenly kills Junpei giving him a slow and agonizing death.
And when Junpei eventually dies, that's when it becomes impactful because overtime we've learned to understand where that character was coming from and the potential he could've had if he stayed alive.
Not to mention the death itself was emotionally painful and disturbing to see.
There's no motivation for Chaz getting the money aside from the fact he's poor but if he really needs that money, he would've robbed another place instead of attempting to rob an infamous mob boss that's known to kill people who cross him. I don't understand why Chaz wants to steal Crimson's money specifically because if he had a deeper motive then it should've at least been revealed within the episode, but there was not a deeper motive. Lastly, I most definitely do not like Chaz and I can't relate to him because he's really insufferable and I honestly don't know anyone who's similar to Chaz who isn't in jail right now.
Vivziepop introduced Chaz in one episode and in that SAME episode, she killed him off without giving him any development to his character or even giving him a character at all. If Chaz was revealed in the series to show that the writers aren't afraid to kill off characters, then why didn't they develop him within the episode? It also doesn't make it any better that Vivziepop has killed off antagonists in the show that being Martha and her family who were also revealed and died in the same episode, so I do not care about the "We're not afraid of killing off characters" thing when the only characters you kill off are bland characters or characters you don't know what to do with. Because I am not sure if Martha and her family will appear in the series again as Sinners.
Also, just a nitpick here, but how are you gonna say that you're not afraid to kill off characters when you're not going to show how they died? Because Chaz's death was literally off-screen.
Conclusion
It's very disappointing to see what the writers have done with Chaz because as always he could've been a potentially interesting character. Chaz being the ex of Moxxie and Millie, two characters who have the most functional relationship in the entire series was interesting but all they did was just made him into a sex-crazed dumbass. I'm glad that they killed him off because it would've been really annoying just to see him in another episode. Anyway, thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a nice day!
#Helluva Boss#chazwick thurman#helluva boss chaz#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critical#vivziepop criticism#vivziepop critical
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everyone loves an outlaw [arvin russell x reader smut]
➽ pairing: mob!arvin russell x fem!reader(y/n)
➽ word count: 2.2k
➽ summary: arvin works for your dad and you have to keep your relationship a secret.
➽ warnings: NSFW/MDNI. smut, explicit language, age gap (reader is legal tho!), fingering (f!receiving), praise kink, breeding kink
➽ a/n: mob!arvin goes brrrr hehe
In small towns, there weren’t many ways out. A job was the usual way-- graduate high school and get a job out of town and leave Coal Creek in your dust. Sometimes, though, the job search was fruitless and many people, young and old, were left to rot in West Virginia. That seemed to be the case for Arvin Russell. We went to high school together, him being a senior when I was a freshman, and I remember my father going on about him. “Gonna get him when he graduates,” Daddy said. “Not lettin’ somethin’ like him get outta here.”
Legally speaking, my dad’s business was in bail bonds. We had family in Chicago that we worked for, and the line of work that my father did was less on the end of selling the bonds and more towards extracting the payments. Coal Creek had a few names for what my family did-- “mob”, “mafia” (which were technically two different things, but the people in Coal Creek had no hope of ever distinguishing the two)-- but we preferred to call it family.
And, God almighty, Arvin Russell was in need of family. When he graduated, he had a bright future ahead of him, but that flame was put out when his little sister died. Lenora was a year ahead of me, quiet and reserved and very bookish, and it took the entire town by surprise when we heard that she had died. Rumors flew around as to why; she was sick and didn’t want to burden her family with her illness was a popular one. When Lenora died, Arvin lost his way. Wayward young men looking for protection and acceptance was my dad’s type when it came to employment.
He had me do it. I usually was the one to go out and hire young men. Papa realized fairly quickly that men would do basically anything I asked of them, including signing themselves into our little family, so, one day in my senior year of high school, I went to the garage where Arvin Russell worked. He split his time between road construction and the garage and, when I met him properly, he had grease all over his hands. “Hi, Arv,” I said sweetly.
His pink mouth had quirked into a smile. “Hey, doll,” he said. “You’re Y/N? From high school, ain’t ya? Ya daddy’s got that bail bond thing goin’?”
“That’s me,” I said. “I, uh…” I had a script that I had to stick to. “I… I was just wonderin’ if ya wanted to get dinner sometime. Maybe go to a drive-in? That car you’ve got is pretty neat.”
“You like my car?” Arvin asked, and I giggled out a yes. “Ya sure it’s the car ya like, doll?”
“Not as much as the driver,” I said, biting my lip. ‘C’mon, Arv, this is takin’ a lot of courage to ask ya.”
Arvin sat up from the rolling creeper he was at and wiped his hands on the thighs of his pants. “You really wanna go out with me?” he asked. His voice was dripping with absolute sarcasm, but his honey-colored eyes held something more hopeful. I knew, right then, that we got him.
“Well, yeah,” I mumbled sheepishly, picking at a loose thread on my blouse. “I’ve kinda had my eye on you since… Forever, I guess. I-I just think you’re outta sight, Arvin.”
Arvin’s eyes glanced over me, still wearing my clothes from school, and he gave me a smile, much more sincere than ever before. “Sure thing, doll,” he said softly. “What d’ya say to Friday night?”
Friday night came, and it was quickly obvious that the movie would be forgotten. Instead of that, Arvin and I ended up in the backseat of his car, his hand up my shirt, making marks on my neck that my dad would be mad at. I never planned on fucking Arvin and, while I had no qualms about doing so, I stopped when his long fingers began to dance at my panties. “Arvie,” I panted, grabbing his wrist. “I ain’t ever done nothin’ like this before. I-I just--”
Arvin kissed me softly, his hand holding my cheek tenderly. “No sweat, doll,” he told me. “We’ll go as fast or slow as you want. I’m here for you.”
I was supposed to break it off with him after that, but I just couldn’t. There was a bit of truth to what I said when I asked him out initially, that I had my eye on him for a while. I had always thought that Arvin was pretty cute, and I enjoyed the time I had with him. We had to sneak around, though, because my dad would have cast both of us out if he knew. While I was supposed to fluff up their egos and convince them to join the business, I wasn’t supposed to fool around with the guys my dad hired. Arvin was different, though, in a way that I couldn’t put my finger on. He was kinder, a gentler soul than most, hidden behind a gruff exterior.
School was grueling, but the sight of the old Chevy waiting in the parking lot for me brought me comfort. Arvin stood near the door of the school, smoking a cigarette as he waited for me, and a smile passed his face when he saw me.
“Arvin, you know damn well that you aren’t supposed to be here right now,” I hissed quickly. “My daddy’ll kill you.”
“I reckon he’d have to catch me first,” Arvin chuckled. His smile promised illicit moments in the coming minutes, and he added, “It looks like it’s gonna rain and I was thinkin’ of offering you a ride. Wouldn’t want ya to walk and get all wet and melt.”
“Why would I melt?” I asked. “I ain’t no witch.”
“Nah, but you’re all made of sugar,” Arvin told me. “C’mon, babydoll. I know you want to. I might even buy you a milkshake if you’re good to me.”
“Good to you?” I laughed. “Right, ‘cause that’s my goal in life, Arv, is to please you. Fuck off.”
“Dolly’s got an attitude today,” Arvin drawled around his cigarette. His dark eyes were full of energy and promised nothing but fun, and the fact that he hadn’t given up his advances yet let me know that he saw right through my fake resistant measures. After all, he knew that I would give in no matter what, just as I always did. “Jesus, woman, you’re makin’ me work for it today, huh? This is fun for you, yeah?”
“Oh, so much fun,” I assured him. “I love makin’ ya dance, Arvie.”
“Shit, do I gotta get down on one knee?” Arvin laughed. “I was hoping that you’d be all graduated first but--”
I tugged Arvin close by his worn leather belt and I silenced him with a kiss to his cheek. My pink lipstick left a mark on his skin, and I said, “We can talk ‘bout that later. Thanks for the ride, loverboy.”
“Never a problem with you, doll,” Arvin told me.
As usual, we ended up parked at the river, with Arvin’s hand up my skirt. My hips bucked up into his hand as his skilled fingers found home inside me, and a soft whimper fell from my lips. “Vinny,” I whispered quickly; that name was reserved for moments like this. “O-Oh, fuck!”
“Such a good girl,” Arvin whispered in my ear, gently nipping at my earlobe. “S’fucking tight, doll. You really ain’t been lettin’ other guys fuck ya, huh?”
“I only want you, Vinny,” I said. “Nobody makes me feel the way you do.”
“Good girl,” Arvin told me, and my body went warm with the praise. Arvin had always been so good to me and I truly didn’t want anybody else. But I had always imagined getting out of Coal Creek, leaving my family behind and having a good and honest life. I wanted to get married; maybe to Arvin, but maybe to someone with no ties to my family. I was lovestruck, I’ll admit that much. I was so pathetically in love with Arvin that I had doodled his name during class, even going as far to put his last name with mine. Mrs. Y/N Russell was enticing. If Arvin were ever to propose, I would be compelled to say yes.
“Vinny,” I said, and I grabbed his strong arms. “I-I’m gettin’ close, baby.”
“You hold that shit in,” Arvin growled into my neck. “Want ya to come on my cock, babydoll.” His fingers fell from me quickly, and he made light work of undoing his belt and jeans. My thighs were quivering around his hips, and I sunk down onto his hard cock with a satisfied keenness in the back of my throat. Arvin’s moan in my ear was heavenly, and he mumbled, “Pussy’s so good, doll. Fuck.”
“Fuck!” I squealed as he snapped his hips up into me. “Vinny, I-I--”
Arvin’s mouth met mine in a greedy kiss, and I whimpered my way through a blissful orgasm. Arvin swallowed every single noise I made, his hands raking my blouse up to feel the skin of my back, and I felt myself shaking so hard in his grasp. “Good girl,” Arvin shushed me, kissing all over my face. “So good for me, babydoll. Gonna help me now?”
Even though my legs felt like liquid and my hips ached, I rolled my hips down onto him. Arvin quickly got rid of my shirt fully and tugged my bra up my chest to expose my tits, my nipples hard at the feeling of him. His mouth latched into my tit quickly, and I pushed his curls off of his forehead as I watched him suck on my tit. Arvin looked up at me through his dark eyelashes and gave my nipple a quick bite with his front teeth, and I yipped. “Vinny!” I cried.
“Aw, dolly,” Arvin cooed. “I only do it ‘cause I like the pretty little noises you make.”
I chuckled breathlessly, and, with his lips back on my nipple, Arvin winked at me. “Arv,” I sighed. “Your cock is literally inside me right now. You can knock it off with the flirting.”
“Can’t help it,” Arvin said, biting his bottom lip as he cupped his hands around my breasts. “Just an instinct.”
“It’s a good thing I like it,” I whispered, and I leaned down to kiss him. His breath was hot against my mouth, and I clutched his hair as he continued to fuck into me, and I finally pleaded, “Vinny, please come. Want you to come inside me, Arvin, please.”
Arvin took a fistful of my hair and tugged my head back to expose my neck, and he kissed all over the soft column of my throat as his thrusts became quick and sloppy. “Fuck,” he whispered and sucked a mark onto my neck, but I was too far gone to chastise him for it. Arvin huffed out a heavy breath then, and I felt him spilling himself inside of me, painting my walls with his hot cum. I gasped aloud at the feeling of it, and Arvin set a kiss to my lips to silence me. “Ya like that?” he whispered. “Like being fucked like this? My good girl, my best girl.”
“Christ, Vin,” I whispered with a giggle. “I love you, you fuckin’ square.”
“Hey, I’m not a square,” Arvin laughed. His arms were circled around me, holding me tightly, and his cock was still inside me as he laid his head on my chest and tried to catch his breath. “But I love you too, babydoll.” There was a quiet that blanketed the car then, the only sounds being our rasping breaths and the faint radio that we had left on before climbing into the backseat. Arvin was right; it had begun to rain.
“Think it’ll take?” I asked softly.
“What?” Arvin asked. His brown eyes were still blown out as he looked at me, and a smile split his face. “Oh, dolly. Is that why you wanted me to come inside ya?”
I shrugged sheepishly, and I hid myself in his neck. Arvin laughed and readjusted us so that he was laying on his back, making sure to stay inside of me all the while.
“You wanna have my babies?” Arvin chuckled. “Your daddy’ll kill us.”
“I jus’ wanna be yours, Arvie,” I told him. “Want everyone to know I’m yours.”
Arvin pulled my face from his neck and captured my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “No more hidin’?” he asked hopefully.
I shook my head, and Arvin smiled. “No more hiding,” I agreed.
Arvin gave a content sigh, and he kissed my mouth once more. “My pretty girl,” he whispered. “My pretty wife, maybe?” I nodded, and he laughed. “Shit, that sounds pretty nice. Having a pretty little wife to come home to, gettin’ all big with my baby… Jesus, I love the thought of that. But you ain’t even graduated yet, doll. Are ya sure…?”
“There’re girls who dropped out ‘cause they got married,” I told him. “I think the fact that I’m engaged and pregnant, and still manage to graduate won’t be a problem.”
Arvin kissed my forehead, and he whispered, “Just a few more minutes, baby. Wanna make sure, ya know. Then, I’ll get you that milkshake I promised.”
#arvin russell x reader#arvin russell#arvin russell x y/n#tdatt#the devil all the time#tom holland#arvin russell fanfiction#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland x reader#tom holland x y/n#tom holland fluff#tom holland angst#arvin russell fluff#arvin russell angst
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uncleinnit, what will he do?
summary: against their better judgement, tubbo and ranboo leave tommy to babysit michael for the day while they have a meeting with foolish about their new mansion. and as any reasonable person should know, tommy is not one to follow the rules.
(word count: 2,359)
read on ao3
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“Come on Ranboo, we’re going to be late,” called Tubbo from the front door.
“One second,” he called back from the house’s attic. He turned back to the grouchy Tommy currently sulking in the corner of the room. “And remember to check his temperature periodically through the day. The house is usually warm but Michael gets cold very easily and I don’t want him coming down with a cold.”
“I still don’t understand why the fuck I have to be the one to babysit the kid,” grumbled Tommy.
“There are golden carrots in the downstairs cupboard for when he gets hungry,” continued Ranboo as though nothing had happened. “And be nice! Michael is friendly but can be very-”
“Jesus fuck, man, just get on to your meeting already,” interrupted Tommy. He pushed himself off the wall and pushed Ranboo to the trapdoor that led to the main room below. “It’s only a few hours, your stupid child is going to be fine.”
“Ranboooo,” called Tubbo once more, a sickeningly sweet lilt to his voice that said you better get down here right now before I kick your arse to L’manberg.
“Coming!” Ranboo lifted the trapdoor and stepped down onto the ladder. “Oh, and if I see a single scratch on Michael, I’m gonna kill you.”
“You fucking-” started Tommy, but the trapdoor swung shut and Ranboo descended down the ladder.
He groaned in frustration and slowly dragged a hand down his face. “These next few hours are gonna be literal dogshit. Who in their right mind would leave me with their child? And a fucking toddler at that.” He watched as the piglin in question clambered onto the windowsill and swung his legs, which dangled nearly a foot over the edge. “Guess it's just you and me, eh, Big Mike?”
Micheal looked up at him, blinked once, and looked back down, mesmerized by his swinging hooves. Tommy palmed himself in the face.
“You probably don’t even understand me, huh? Fucking wonderful.”
Tommy glanced around the room. It was fairly large for a toddler, furnished with a bed, coffee table, bookshelf, and various paintings. In the middle of the room lay a yellow rug, which Tommy thought was a questionable decor choice. Then again, he lived in a dirt hill, so he didn't really have a right to talk. His fingers brushed over the dusty books sitting on the bookshelf, whose pages looked like they’d never seen the light of day. He held his hand to his face, and wrinkled his nose at the gray dust that coated his fingertips.
“Not much to do here, big man, is there?” he asked Michael as he brushed off the dust on the front of his shirt, who continued to make no sign he heard the whiny teenager.
“I don’t even know why Tubbo chose me of all people. Last time I saw you, I threatened to kick you. I’m a fuckin’ safety hazard!”
Michael’s snout dipped the slightest bit.
“I wouldn’t actually kick you,” said Tommy hastily. “You’re just an annoying lil’ shit, you know?”
Michael’s head dipped even further.
“Come on, don’t give me that.” Tommy rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. “Okay, fine, you aren’t that annoying. I just hate how the two of them don’t shut up about you. It’s all Michael this and Michael that. You don’t even do anything, you’re just sat there!”
Michael jumped down from the windowsill, and Tommy continued his one-sided conversation. “I know I’m mean to them sometimes, especially Ranboo. I actually don’t mind Ranboo that much, he’s fuckin’ cool actually, but he talks about you so much and its infuriating!”
Michael turned to walk to the other side of his room. One of his hooves caught on the rug in the center and he tripped, tiny hands braced out to catch his fall. Tommy was there in an instant, catching the small boy in his arms before he could hit the ground.
“Fuckin’ careful man, you could’ve hurt yourself.” He let out another string of curses, putting the boy down and crouching down to examine him for any injuries. Michael watched him in mild curiosity.
“You seem fine, but wow, you almost gave me a heart attack, big man.” He let out a nervous laugh. Michael reached up with a tiny hand and ruffled his hair, or at least tried to. Tommy’s laughter died in his throat.
Micheal smiled at him, and brought his hand back down to his side. He walked back over to the window while Tommy sat there in shock trying to comprehend the last few moments because that was the single cutest thing he’s ever seen holy fucking shit. Then he caught up with his thoughts and swore at himself because he was not about to go all soft. He was Tommy-fucking-Innit, and he had a reputation to uphold, damn it.
He walked over to Michael, who was looking out the window, hooves and snout resting against the glass. Tommy hesitantly reached out a hand and rested it on the toddler’s head. Michael leaned into his hand, and Tommy started rubbing the thin bristles. He made a sound that Tommy could only describe as “happy piglin noises.”
“Do you wish you could go outside?” asked Tommy several minutes later, as Michael continued to gaze longingly out the small window of the attic. The view outside was beautiful. The ground was coated in a thick blanket of snow, and beyond it lay a small dock and an endless glittering sea.
Michael nodded.
“Holy shit, you can understand me!” Tommy bounced on his heels in excitement. “But man, it must suck being holed up in here all the time.”
Micheal let out a noise that Tommy assumed was agreement. Suddenly, he turned around and climbed down the windowsill, using Tommy as a brace.
“Woah, woah, woah, where’re you going?”
He grabbed Tommy’s hand and dragged him across the room until they were standing in front of the trapdoor.
Tommy let out a nervous bark of laughter. “You wanna go outside?” Michael looked at him expectantly. “I don’t know, big man, isn’t it dangerous out there? Mobs n’ shit, y’know?”
Michael continued to stare. “And don’t you get cold easily? If you get sick or hurt those two will fuckin’ kill me, man.”
Michael pouted, which Tommy didn’t even think was possible for someone with a snout. And man, how was he supposed to refuse those puppy dog eyes now? (Well, one eye, technically.)
“Fine,” he groaned. “But if anything goes wrong, I’m blaming you, okay?”
Michael nodded, jumping up and down in excitement.
Tommy dug through Michael’s closet and pulled out an armful of clothes. Carefully, he bundled the toddler in several layers. As an afterthought, he added a small red cape he’d found hanging in the back. Better to be safe than sorry. (He would never admit that he wanted the two of them to match, as Tommy was currently wearing the thick red cape he wore back when he stayed in Techno’s base.)
After a bit of clever maneuvering and several moments where Tommy thought he had fucked up and accidentally killed the kid for sure, he finally managed to carry Michael down the ladder and onto the landing below, injury-free. The second he put him down, Michael raced to the door and threw it open, which Tommy had to admit was rather impressive for a two-foot tall toddler with hooves for hands.
“Wait up, bitch!” he yelled in exasperation, running after the hyper piglin. He found Michael sitting in a pile of snow, patting it softly and giggling as his hooves sunk into the sea of white.
In spite of himself, Tommy felt his face split into a grin and he thought his heart was going to melt.
“You like the snow, Big Mike?” He gathered some of it into a ball and handed it to the child, whose face stared in wonder. “That’s a snowball. You can throw them, like this.” Tommy created another snowball and demonstrated by throwing it at the front of Tubbo’s house. Revenge for leaving him to babysit his fucking toddler (he didn’t mind too much anymore, though he would never admit it).
“Your turn, buddy,” he said, turning his head back to Michael only to be met with a snowball to the face.
“WHY YOU LITTLE SHIT-” he yelled. He tackled Michael to the ground and rolled himself over so that Michael was now laying across his chest, Tommy’s back in the snow. He sat up and began to tickle the piglin, who let out a squeal of laughter and tried to squirm away.
“I should’ve known you'd try something like that,” he said, fighting to keep the smile off his face. “It’s something Tubbo would do; like father like son, eh?”
Michael finally managed to twist out of Tommy’s hold and ran a few steps- only to trip and faceplant into the snow. However, before Tommy could let out more than a shout of concern, he sprung back up, looking perfectly unharmed and extremely amused at the concern written across Tommy’s face.
Tommy sighed. “Quit giving me heart attacks kid, you’re gonna kill me,” he groaned, unable to keep the endearment out of his voice. “C’mon, let me show you what else you can do with snow.”
For the next half hour, the two of them worked tirelessly on a giant snowman. Tommy held up Michael so he could add the small sticks and pebbles to the topmost snowball in the vague arrangement of a face. He thought it looked suspiciously similar to Ranboo, but made no complaints, happy that the toddler was having fun. After Michael added the last touch, a wreath of leaves that resembled a crown, Tommy set him down, and the two of them admired their handiwork.
“Not bad, Big Mike,” he said, nodding his approval. At that exact moment, the snowman’s head decided to slip off onto the ground, landing in a pile of ice, sticks, and leaves. Tommy and Michael looked at each other for several seconds, then simultaneously burst out laughing.
“I’ve always wanted to knock down Ranboo’s head like that,” he joked. Michael playfully slapped his leg.
“Wanna explore the rest of Snowchester?” asked Tommy. Micheal nodded eagerly. He scooped up the boy in his arms and started making his way across the ice. “We can’t go too far because your dads might see us, and we need to be back home soon,” Tommy informed him, “but I think we can go to the dock. Let’s fuckin’ go!”
Before long they were standing on the wooden planks, staring out at the sea. Tommy sat on the edge and held Michael in his lap, hands wrapped securely around his waist so he didn’t fall into the freezing water below.
“Pretty, isn’t it?” he asked the toddler. The sea stretched in an endless expanse before them, glittering as it reflected the rays of the afternoon sun. Chunks of ice floated in the water, dotting the scene like sparse freckles. The occasional breeze blew across the water, creating tiny ripples and waves in the sea’s texture. It was truly a sight to behold.
The two of them stayed like that for a long time, admiring the scene that Michael had up until then only viewed from his bedroom window. It was definitely much better in person, and Tommy vowed to himself that he would take Michael out here much more often, Tubbo and Ranboo’s rules be damned.
Tommy could never get tired of watching the sunset. His eyes refused to leave the horizon as the sun inched closer and closer to the sea. With a start, he realized that over an hour had passed, and his two friends were due to be home any moment.
“Shit, shit, fuck,” he mumbled to himself. He set Micheal down beside him and got up, stretching. Michael let out a whine of protest. “I know, I know, I don’t want to go back either, big man, but your parents are gonna fuckin’ kill me.” He lifted Micheal into his arms, who rested his head on Tommy’s shoulder. “See? You’re getting sleepy. Even more of a reason to go back.”
Michael yawned in reply, and Tommy's heart melted for the hundredth time that day. He slowly made his way back to Tubbo’s house, careful not to jostle the drowsy toddler too much.
Getting Michael through the door and back up the ladder was a challenge in it of itself, but finally they were back in Michael’s room. Tommy helped Michael out of his extra layers and dried him off with a towel. Before long, it looked like nothing had ever happened, and Tommy grinned in satisfaction at his superior babysitting skills.
“Here’s a golden carrot for being a fuckin’ excellent partner in crime,” he told Michael, handing him one from his personal stash. Michael giggled in delight.
Tommy crawled into Michel’s bed and lifted the toddler on top of him. “Time for bed, kid,” he whispered. Michael finished up the last of his carrot, then curled into Tommy’s sweater. His eye drifted shut, and soon he was fast asleep, light snores filling the quiet room.
That scene was how Tubbo and Ranboo were greeted upon returning home: Tommy holding Michael gently, the two of them curled up against each other and knocked out cold.
“I can’t believe that actually worked,” whispered Ranboo in amazement. “I thought for sure I’d come back to the house on fire or something.”
“Tommy can be very competent when he wants to be,” Tubbo informed him. The two of them cooed as Michael sneezed in his sleep, then curled deeper into Tommy’s chest. “Anyways, now I have blackmail material.” He took a picture of his sleeping son and best friend and smiled in glee. “Oh, Tommy is gonna be pissed.”
However, to Tubbo’s surprise, Tommy’s only reaction to the photo the next day was a request for Tubbo to send him a copy, and an assurance that he could count on him the next time he needed someone to babysit Michael.
Huh.
#dsmp fic#mcyt#dream smp#tommyinnit#dsmp michael#michael the piglin#tubbo#ranboo#dsmp#/rp#the world didn't have enough uncleinnit so i delivered#this is 2.3k words of tooth-rotting fluff#also i took like 5 hours on this so please rb hahaha#enjoy#nes writes#og post
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(tbh I think one thing that frustrates me about season 3 of Lucifer is...how easily it would have been to get Cain right? He already brings everything to the table myth-wise?)
All the antagonists we had thus far were a) pretty nuanced and b) integrated into the story.
Sure, Malcolm was the most obviously "evil" of the bunch, but season 1 shows us again and again how much his experiences in hell shaped him into the person we meet. We know he was a dirt bag before, but after he is brought back, he's willing to do anything to avoid going back and he completely lost all connection to humanity because of that terror. We learn what hell does to a person - which is something that is relevant to understanding our main-character - and we learn something about the world we're in.
Then we have Amenadiel. Him bringing Malcolm back and doing all that stuff in season 1 like pretending to be a therapist, using Linda, orchestrating the theft of Lucifer's wings - tells us more about his major flaw: That he thinks doing his father's work justifies everything. And thinking that his father is always right, even if he doesn't understand his (supposed) orders. And that's the exactly the thing he's unlearning over the next seasons, the basis for his growth and development. We realise he's not a badTM person and he even ends up siding with Lucifer.
For the Goddess, they built up this expectation of some evil monstrous being - but then she's a mother who loves her children except she has too few moral boundaries and doesn't care about humans because - yes, compared to her they're pretty much insects and she was in hell for most of their history. We get her. We understand her motivations and even when she does horrible things like torturing Linda or freeing Perry Smith or stealing Azrael's blade, she never does them because she's a cackling evil villain - but for reasons that make sense in the terms of her character.
Then you have Cain.
Cain could have very easily fit into that pattern: He's in the bible. Even before the Eve-arc of season 4 (which casually drops Cain like a hot potato with even his own Mum saying that 'yeah, that guy sucked, can't blame you for killing him, Luce') he has every good reason to hate Lucifer:
His parents were created in Eden. Fucking paradise. Living the best life, fruit in their mouth, no pain, no age, no injury. Except Lucifer had a teenage temper tantrum and wanted to mess with his Dad and because of that, Cain's parents lost all that, got kicked out into a life of stone age harshness without any necessary survival skills and Cain grew up suffering pain and disease and hard work to survive, being attacked by predators and finally, killing his brother and being cursed to live that life for all eternity. (Another interesting aspect: This guy couldn't just drop in and out of the mortal realm like Lucifer. This is a guy who probably spent thousands of years working in the fields or doing some really menial labour, so he would be an interesting juxtaposition to Lucifer, who experienced the pleasures of Earth as a relief, a vacation from fucking hell. Then you have Cain who wants to die because - he thinks Earth is hell, but oh, boy, you have a big one coming down there).
He had every sensible motive to hate Lucifer. This would have made perfect sense, there was no reason to make him a police cop man with a secret crime syndicate under his thumb.
Plus, the entire show is about how first impressions aren't everything.
The main-character is the literal devil and the show is about how he's not evil incarnate. And as I said, all our main-antagonists follow that trend: Amenadiel is first introduced as this scary foe to Lucifer, but actually they are squabbling siblings from a dysfunctional family trying to make things work. Malcolm was a corrupt cop but it was the fall-out of the celestial family drama that brought out the worst in him. The Goddess is introduced as this scary being that brought plagues and pests to Earth - but hey, she's actually pretty complex and vulnerable at times.
All this harping on Cain being "the first murderer!!" is...actually pretty pointless, because most of our main-characters are to some degree down with murder, with the exception of maybe Chloe but even she isn't exactly a pacifist. It really goes against the grain of the show that Cain killing Abel thousands of years ago means he has to be bad and unjustified now.
Him committing a horrible act in the fucking stone age shouldn't be the defining characteristic that makes him good or bad- And the writers knew that. Hence, they came up with all this "sinnerman" stuff. But...hear me out: Why not let Cain be right? Why not give him the motive of actually wanting revenge on Lucifer for the fall-out his dumb apple-stunt had for his family, for himself? For all of fucking humanity, actually? - bc this is something that is very rarely addressed in the show, compared to the whole rebellion thing and it would be interesting to see them settle that:
Is it Lucifer's fault for messing with Adam and Eve? Or is it God's fault because he once again decided to punish and condemn with giant consequences and without explaining his "mysterious ways"?
Like, this discussion would be right up the alley of the shows major themes but instead we get this whole "yeah actually this immortal mortal guy who has hundreds of thousands of years of very vague backstory is in a love triangle with our main characters now but actually it will never work out because he's a fucking mob boss. Also he's Cain and collects rock." WHAT WAS THAT?
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The Untamed, a brief summary [Part 2/6]
Part One: Sword Wizard School
Part Two: The Search for the Yin Iron and the World’s Worst Summer Camp
Ext, Somewhere
Lan Wangji is looking for the yin iron. Wei Wuxian catches up with him and makes some bondage jokes. Lan Wangji is clearly warming up to him, as he doesn’t punt him into the stratosphere.
Jiang Cheng, still incensed that his brother snuck off, goes to look for him. Jiang Yanli packs him a sack lunch and tells him to be careful.
Wen Qing is stuck with Wen Chao, following Lan Wangji, and looks like she wants to throw herself off a mountain.
Ext, Tanzhou [Yiling]
Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian run into Nie Huaisang, who apparently decided not to go home after school, presumably due to his grades. Yiling is nowhere near Qinghe. When Nie Huaisang decides to fuck around and find out, he goes for it.
In Tanzhou, there is a magic florist. She has a piece of yin iron, but they’re too late. Wen Chao has already taken it. I will forget that this happened in 90% of my fanfics.
Ext, Dafan Mountain [Yiling]
The three of them end up at a creepy village. There’s a woman mumbling something about a statue. Everyone else is missing except one creepy dude at a shrine to said statue, whose purpose is to give exposition. For some reason they decide to sleep in the weird cave with the creepy statue outside the abandoned village. Kids, amirite?
Ext, Somewhere
Jiang Cheng runs into Wen Qing. She purposefully picks a fight with him and he looks like someone kicked his puppy. But oh ho! It was just a ruse so she could tell him that his brother is in trouble at Dafan Mountain without anyone overhearing. He thanks her and takes off.
Interior, A Creepy Cave [Yiling]
The statue comes alive and attacks them! It keeps going for Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian makes a joke about it having a crush on him. They seal it to keep it from moving.
Outside, a mob of villagers who look the same as the not-a-corpse guy attack them. Nie Huaisang posits that he would like to be excluded from this narrative, of which he never asked to be a part. Wen Qing shows up and uses a magic flute to subdue the mob. She will never use this flute again despite countless times doing so might come in handy. Jiang Cheng turns up too but is too busy roasting Wei Wuxian for running off to do anything useful. Wen Qing tells Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian that the mob is powered by a shard of yin iron that Wen Chao has in his ‘dire owl’ which is a bird made out of shadow that could not possibly look less like an owl.
Wei Wuxian uses a nifty golden net spell that he will never use again despite countless times it might come in handy to protect the others while he and Lan Wangji fight Wen Chao and kill the absolutely-not-an-owl. The villagers are released from the spell.
Wen Qing tells them that this is where she and Wen Ning grew up. The statue had a piece of yin iron in it, and when Wen Ruohan came and took it, the statue went berserk and killed a bunch of people, including her parents. It also stole part of Wen Ning’s soul and that’s why he’s weak and sick. Then she goes back to Nightless City despite that this is clearly a terrible idea, because Wen Ning is there. Jiang Cheng asks her to stay, but she won’t, and Jiang Cheng is sad. Somehow nobody thinks to point out that she’s serving the man who got her parents killed.
Ext, Yueyang [Qinghe]
Somehow they’re all the way up towards Qinghe now. Please don’t ask questions about travel times. It’s my worst nightmare in my fics.
Nie Huaisang says that Meng Yao is meeting them here. Why? Who knows. My best guess is that Nie Huaisang knows he’s going to be in Big Trouble for sneaking off and thinks Meng Yao can protect him.
They stop at an inn. The waiter tells them something weird happened at the Chang house and now nobody’s there but they hear noise every night. The yin iron starts clamoring to be let out of its pouch and gives Lan Wangji heartburn.
Ext, the Chang manor [Qinghe]
Xue Yang has killed every damn person. It’s fucked up.
ENTER SUPERMAN and BATMAN, like seriously, imagine you were in a DC Comic and those two just dropped in for cameos and nobody bothered to explain who they were because they figured you would already know. Their names are Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan, and by the time they show up again, you will have forgotten that.
They’ve been tracking Xue Yang for All the Crimes and want to arrest him. There’s a fight. Xue Yang loses and enjoys it way too much.
Wei Wuxian asks him questions about the yin iron. He acts like a little punk. He doesn’t have any yin iron on him even though he obviously used it for Carnage, and they can’t find it anywhere.
Meng Yao and Nie Huaisang show up. They agree to take Xue Yang back to The Unclean Realm to be tried for All the Crimes.
Xue Yang cheekily says, “Don’t forget me!” to Xiao Xingchen, who immediately forgets him.
Exeunt Superman and Batman, while Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian both stare after them longingly, clearly wishing that they too could hunt monsters and criminals instead of dealing with political bullshit.
Ext, The Unclean Realm [Qinghe]
Meng Yao shows them in and tells Nie Huaisang that the Wen sect has demanded each sect send an ‘inner heir disciple’ for ‘indoctrination’. Nie Huaisang remembers that he’s the only inner heir disciple sect in the Nie sect and panics. Meng Yao laughs at his histrionics. To be fair, they are indeed funny.
ENTER THE WORLD’S MOST BADASS MUSTACHE
This is Nie Mingjue. He is the head of the Qinghe Nie sect. He carries an enormous sword and has the title ‘Red Blade Master’. Every molecule of this man exudes big dick energy.
Nie Mingjue decides to immediately execute Xue Yang. Meng Yao steps in and counsels that maybe execution shouldn’t be their go-to, being rather permanent and all. Xue Yang can give them information and they shouldn’t waste their chance to get it. Nie Mingjue agrees. The others admire the fact that Meng Yao is clever and persuasive, and Wei Wuxian makes a comment about how Meng Yao’s biological father (the head of the Lanling Jin) is an idiot for not realizing he could make use of such a talent.
Nie Mingjue orders Xue Yang put in prison and the guard strengthened. Meng Yao delivers this order to the Captain of the Guard, who decides he’s going to be a giant prick about it. He’s too good to take orders from the bastard son of a whore. Meng Yao puts on his best retail smile and says that he’ll make do.
Meanwhile, the others are discussing the yin iron and the Wen sect’s demand to send disciples. Nie Mingjue says Lan Xichen has written to him and he thinks Lan Wangji should go back to Cloud Recesses. There’s only one piece of yin iron left unlocated and Xue Yang clearly knows where it is, so they’ll take it from here. Wei Wuxian reluctantly agrees that he and Jiang Cheng should probably head home too, to see how their father wants to handle the Wen sect’s demands.
Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]
Wen soldiers have showed up. It’s bad. Lan Qiren tells Lan Xichen that he should take their most precious knowledge and run away. Lan Xichen tries to argue but Lan Qiren insists.
Ext, The Unclean Realm [Qinghe]
The Captain of the Guard is still being an asshole to Meng Yao, this time while drunk.
Wei Wuxian, also drunk, has decided to sleep on Lan Wangji’s roof like any well-adjusted person would.
Lan Wangji gives him a longing stare and says ‘farewell’ under his breath like the stoic repressed gay he is, before heading back home.
ENTER MINIMUM WAGE REPRESENTATION MAN
The next morning, Wen Chao shows up with his Head Henchman, Wen Zhuliu. He’s clearly there because Wen Chao can’t find his ass with two hands and a flashlight. They demand the release of Xue Yang and grandstand a lot. Nie Mingjue tells them to fuck off.
There’s a big fight, mostly between Nie Mingjue and Wen Zhuliu.
Someone shouts that Xue Yang has escaped. Nie Mingjue makes it to the prison and finds Meng Yao standing there with a sword through the gut of the Captain of the Guard. We all take a moment to wish that we could stab the people who have bullied us. Nie Mingjue, however, does not agree, and is very upset. Meng Yao hilariously says ‘Xue Yang did it’ even though he’s literally got his hand on the hilt of the blade. Nice going, Meng Yao. I spend the next ten months wondering if that was a translation error.
Wen Chao (or maybe Wen Zhuliu? I don’t remember tbh) throws his sword at Nie Mingjue. Meng Yao leaps in front of it and gets lightly stabbed. Then Wen Chao talks a lot of shit about how much the Nie sect sucks and also the Lan sect sucks and his brother has taken men to go burn Cloud Recesses to the ground. Everyone is upset. Wen Chao gallantly agrees he’ll let them off the hook for the day, but if they fuck with the Wen sect again, they’ll regret it.
Nie Mingjue drags Meng Yao inside and they have a messy breakup. Meng Yao tries to explain that the Captain of the Guard was a big douchebag, bullied him for years, and took credit for his accomplishments. Nie Mingjue points out that this was not an excuse to murder him. Because Meng Yao just saved his life, he says he won’t execute him, but exiles him from Qinghe.
Meng Yao bids farewell to Nie Huaisang, who is upset and tries to get his brother to reconsider, but Nie Mingjue is adamant. Everyone seems to forget that Meng Yao just got fucking stabbed. He’ll walk it off.
So who released Xue Yang? This question is actually never answered! Did the captain of the guard do it for some reason, and Meng Yao stabbed him because he caught him in the act? Did Meng Yao do it? If so, why? Did he have nefarious purposes? Or did he do it because he thought it would make the Wen sect withdraw and stop attacking The Unclean Realm? Did the Wen soldiers get to him and let him out? Did Xue Yang just escape on his own? You may believe any canon that you wish. (My personal head canon is generally that Meng Yao released him to try to get the Wen soldiers to withdraw, but I’ve also written some variations.)
Ext, Lotus Pier [Yunmeng]
Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian are home. Yay! They reunite with Jiang Yanli. It is cute.
ENTER A PAIR OF EXTREMELY BAD PARENTS
So here’s the tea on the super dysfunctional family that basically drives this whole story. Jiang Fengmian is the head of the Yunmeng Jiang sect. His wife is Yu Ziyuan. He didn’t really want to marry her, mostly because he was in love with another woman named Cangse Sanren. However, the leaders of their two sects were pushing them to marry for alliance reasons. Jiang Fengmian kept refusing, but then Cangse Sanren married a guy named Wei Changze, who was one of Jiang Fengmian’s close friends. Since she was no longer an option, Jiang Fengmian then agreed to marry Yu Ziyuan. They hate each other.
The two of them had two kids, Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng. Jiang Yanli is not a strong cultivator and seems to have some health issues, although these are never detailed. Therefore all the sect responsibilities fall to Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli was betrothed to Jin Zixuan (whose mother was the sect sister of Yu Ziyuan).
Meanwhile, Cangse Sanren is what we call a ‘rogue cultivator’ ie a cultivator who is not formally part of any sect. Wei Changze was a servant at Lotus Pier. They had Wei Wuxian and went to fight evil. When Wei Wuxian was four, they were killed by a monster. He lived on the streets for about three years before Jiang Fengmian found him and adopted him.
Yu Ziyuan is super pissed that Jiang Fengmian adopted the child of the woman he was in love with. She’s also super pissed because Wei Wuxian happens to be a more powerful cultivator than Jiang Cheng. Jiang Fengmian is very indulgent of Wei Wuxian’s behavior because, you know, his parents died, and Jiang Fengmian loved his mother and was friends with his father. Yu Ziyuan constantly accuses Jiang Fengmian of loving Wei Wuxian more than he loves their own son, constantly abuses Wei Wuxian for having the audacity to exist in her home and be a good cultivator, and constantly berates Jiang Cheng for not being as strong as Wei Wuxian and says he’s not going to be a good sect leader. Meanwhile Jiang Fengmian can’t be arsed to reassure Jiang Cheng that yes, he does love him very much. Jiang Yanli basically raised both the brothers which is probably the only reason they turned out as well as they did.
tl;dr this is a super toxic environment for everyone involved
Ext, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]
ENTER A MAN WHOSE POSITION IMPLIES HE SHOULD BE IMPORTANT YET PLAYS LITTLE ROLE IN THE STORY
Wen Xu, the first son of Wen Ruohan, is coordinating the attack on Cloud Recesses.
Lan Wangji arrives in time to find most of his sect rushing to shelter in the magic cave because the Wen troops are slaughtering everyone there.
A bunch of disciples are trapped outside because only members of the Lan bloodline can get in. Wen Xu starts murdering them all until one will tell him how to get in.
ENTER A 2 WHO THINKS HE IS A 10
A disciple named Su She, who incidentally is the guy who lost his sword in the lake like a dumbass while fighting the water demon, tells Wen Xu that only members of the Lan bloodline can get in and he could do it if he had one of the Magic Ribbons.
Lan Wangji emerges from the cave to try to fight off Wen Xu and a zillion guys single-handedly. Unsurprisingly, this does not work and he is captured. Since he’s got the yin iron, Wen Xu decides that’s good enough and they take off. Everyone left behind presumably calls Su She a jerk.
Int, Lotus Pier [Yunmeng]
They’ve received the demands from the Wen sect. Jiang Cheng is the inner heir disciple and he has to go. Wei Wuxian says he’ll go too. Yu Ziyuan tells him nobody gives a shit what the son of a servant does.
Ext, The Indoctrination Bureau, which may or may not be in Nightless City. It sure seems like it is but then later it sure seems like it isn’t [Qishan]
Wen Chao has lined all the disciples up outside so he can insult them and brag about how great he is. Wei Wuxian is worried because Lan Wangji isn’t there at first, but then he’s escorted in, clearly injured and trying not to show it.
Wen Chao forces them all to surrender their swords. Surprisingly it’s Jin Zixuan who picks a fight about this.
ENTER A WOMAN WHO IS NOT PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS SHIT
Jin Zixuan’s retainer, a woman named Luo Qingyang but who everyone calls Mianmian because of how cute she is, calms him down and reminds him that Jin Zixuan’s father told them not to make trouble. He’s pissed but hands his sword over. So does everyone else.
(A note on swords: there are strong implications that the swords are semi-sentient and connected to their bearers on a spiritual level. I’m sure I would know more about this if I was more familiar with xianxia. But the long and the short of it is that taking their swords is a Big Fucking Deal.)
Wen Chao tells them all to memorize ‘The Quintessence of Wen’, basically the rules of their sect.
Ext, somewhere nearby [Qishan]
Wen Ning is excited that Wei Wuxian is in Qishan and asks Wen Qing if he can go outside and play. Wen Qing says no because Wei Wuxian is supposed to be their enemy. Wen Ning uses sad puppy eyes. It has no effect.
Ext, The Indoctrination Bureau [Qishan]
Wen Chao tells them to recite the Wen stuff. Lan Wangji refuses. Jin Zixuan refuses.
Wei Wuxian eagerly volunteers, and then like the chaos gremlin he is, starts reciting the Lan principles instead. Wen Chao is pissed. Lan Wangji is smitten. Even Jin Zixuan thinks it’s funny. Jiang Cheng is upset that Wei Wuxian is causing trouble but he also thinks it’s funny and just won’t admit it.
Wen Chao punishes Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and Jin Zixuan by making them do some menial labor involving buckets of dung. Jin ‘never done a day of actual labor in his life’ Zixuan is the most upset about this.
Wei Wuxian takes the opportunity to try to talk to Lan Wangji about the yin iron and what happened at Cloud Recesses and why he’s injured. Wen Chao gets even more pissy and throws Wei Wuxian in a dungeon with a terrible CGI wolf monster. Wei Wuxian nearly gets eaten but Wen Qing intervenes by using long distance acupuncture to knock the monster out with throwing needles. Wen Ning brings him some medicine to stop the bleeding from his multiple wounds.
The next day, they’re still reciting the stupid Wen stuff, or at least pretending to. Nie Huaisang either falls asleep on his feet, passes out, or decides this is bullshit and pretends to pass out, and is dragged back to his guest house.
The rest of them go on a field trip.
ENTER THE HUMAN VERSION OF PERIOD CRAMPS
Wen Chao has a girlfriend, somehow. Her name is Jiaojiao and she is the absolute worst.
They head off to a mountain where bad mojo is going around. Wen Chao is clearly planning to use all these cultivators as cannon fodder, because he’s a fucking asshole. Wen Zhuliu accompanies them, presumably because Wen Chao will trip over his own sword and die if left to his own devices. Wen Qing also comes along, even though she’d clearly rather not. Wen Chao keeps hitting on Mianmian and it makes Jiaojiao jealous.
Lan Wangji is limping badly. Wei Wuxian wants to help him. Jiang Cheng tells him they’ve got their own problems and they shouldn’t get involved in other people’s business. Wei Wuxian says, ‘but consider: I do what I want’. He offers to carry Lan Wangji, who refuses. So instead Wei Wuxian uses a little paper talisman to ask Wen Qing if she can help them out. She calls for a break so they can get some water.
Wen Chao tells her she’s too soft-hearted. She tells him he thinks too much, which seems vastly inaccurate.
Int, Muxi Mountain [Qishan]
They find a cave and go inside. There’s a steep drop off and nobody wants to go see what’s at the bottom, so Wen Chao pushes Wei Wuxian over the edge. Everyone is pissed about this, and they all have to climb down.
They’ve discovered an underground lake and the home of the monster! But it’s nowhere to be found. Wen Chao wants to string someone up and cut them to attract it. Jiaojiao suggests Mianmian. Wen Chao clearly doesn’t want to because he has the hots for her. Jin Zixuan tells him to get his grubby eyeballs off his friend. For the first time in the show, we feel a jot of respect for Jin Zixuan.
One of the other disciples tries to grab Mianmian anyway, Jin Zixuan intervenes, and there’s a big fight.
Wei Wuxian tells Wen Chao that using his position to bully others means he should be executed, using the words they had to memorize from the Quintessence of Wen. Wen Chao doesn’t recognize their own principles. Everyone laughs at him, and Wen Zhuliu looks like he’d rather be flipping burgers at McDonald’s than have this stupid job.
While Wen Zhuliu is distracted mentally updating his resume, Wei Wuxian grabs Wen Chao, puts a sword to his throat, and jumps to a rock in the middle of the lake. He tells Wen Chao to make all his guys lower their blades. But then, uh oh! Turns out the rock he jumped to is in fact the monster, which is a terrible CGI turtle snake thing.
There’s another big fight. Jiaojiao decides that this is an ideal time to punish Mianmian for being pretty near other people, and tries to burn her with a hot iron. Wei Wuxian jumps in between them and gets hit with it.
At some point, Wen Chao decides fuck this. The Wen soldiers all retreat, dragging Wen Qing with them, cut the ropes to the bottom of the cliff, and seal the entrance.
They find an underwater exit from the cave. While Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian fight the monster and keep it distracted, the other cultivators escape. But they don’t manage to make it out themselves. They’re now trapped in a cave together, soaking wet and wounded. Thank you, Untamed.
Wei Wuxian teases Lan Wangji and is too stupid to realize he’s flirting. Lan Wangji prays for patience. He tells Wei Wuxian that he went back to Cloud Recesses and that his uncle is injured and his brother is missing. Wei Wuxian covers Lan Wangji with his robe while he sleeps. We all swoon.
In order to get out, they have to kill the monster. Wei Wuxian goes inside it and we all very studiously do not ask which entrance he went through.
The inside of this monster is very gross. There’s a black sword inside it which emanates evil energy. Wei Wuxian grabs it because he is sixteen and stupid. He hears lots of screaming ghosts and such, but hangs onto it anyway because he is sixteen and stupid. They kill the terrible CGI turtle snake thing but it collapses on top of the exit so they still can’t get out. Wei Wuxian is badly injured. Lan Wangji sings to him and there is a montage of their significant moments together up to this point, because the Chinese censors apparently weren’t looking.
Ext, Muxi Mountain [Qishan]
Wei Wuxian wakes up to find he is outside. Jin Zixuan and Jiang Cheng have rescued him. Lan Wangji has already left to go back to Cloud Recesses to look for his brother. Wei Wuxian is still holding onto the creepy sword. They awkwardly thank Jin Zixuan for helping out with the rescue. Jin Zixuan awkwardly accepts their thanks and then bounces. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng head back to Lotus Pier.
Nobody ever mentions how Nie Huaisang gets out of Qishan, and for some reason I find this very funny.
~end part 2~
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rich kid runaways (ft. yuexzukoxtoph friendship)
for my 100 Followers Celebration - credit to @aroacebitchboi for this amazing idea!
zuko faces his father in the agni kai, and when he is told what he must do in order to be welcome in his homeland again, he just says “fuck this” and runs away.
he’s not sure where he’s gonna go, just that he has to get out, and fast, because his dad’s gonna kill him. like. for real. so he stows away on a fire navy ship headed Literally Anywhere Else (and maybe the soldiers don’t care! because he’s 13 and hurting children is a disgrace! maybe they sneak him food and blankets idk!)
yue, meanwhile, in the north pole, has just been told she is going to enter an arranged marriage for the good of her people when she turns 16. respectfully, she asks her father what exactly this marriage will do, politically speaking. the north isn’t at war with itself, in fact they’re more united than ever. maybe if it were a southern water tribe boy, sure, but no, it’s going to be a northern boy.
her father just tells her it’s imperative to the stability of the tribe that they uphold tradition. yue, realizing this is bullshit, even at the tender age of 13, says “fuck this”, and runs away.
she is all but screwed without waterbending or any practical survival knowledge - except, she’s been chosen by the moon spirit. when she steals a boat and heads south, the moon takes pity on its ward and keeps her safe, at least on her waterbound journey. once she lands on the northern shores of the earth kingdom, yue depends on the kindness of strangers to survive.
zuko, meanwhile, is angry and mistrustful and afraid when he ends up on the western shores of the earth kingdom, and he depends entirely on his determination to survive. he learns to live off the land the hard way, and avoids major cities and towns for fear of being found out as a firebender. of course, if he’s ever spotted, he’s regarded with pity and empathy because of the festering burn on his face, but zuko doesn’t realize that.
yue never stays in one place too long, bouncing from family to family and learning more skills in a few months than she was ever taught in her whole life up north. she cooks and cleans and sews, yes, but she also farms and skins hunted animals and does house repairs. she is happily taken into homes because of her ability to heal - though never a waterbender, yue still learned basic healing with the other northern women, and can manage even bad wounds all on her own.
afraid she’ll be recognized by her vibrant hair, however, yue continues her journey south, considering running to the south pole for sanctuary. she wonders how their women are treated. zuko, meanwhile, lives alone in the wilderness most of the time, and moves very slowly up the west coast.
they’re 14 when their paths cross. three fire nation soldiers harass yue while she’s journeying along a rural road, asking her for a made-up toll. usually trading in work, yue has no money to speak of. the soldiers threaten violence, and, though he is afraid of being caught by his countrymen, zuko was never one to let bullies have power over the innocent.
he emerges from the forest, swords in hand, attacking the soldiers. at first it seems like he has the upper hand - and then he stumbles, and the soldiers laugh and pull him up to beat him. zuko panics and relies on instinct - firebending at the soldiers and burning them badly. they run away yelling, and zuko panics, certain that he’ll be caught out. he goes to run, but yue stops him.
“you’re hurt,” she says, pointing to where he’d been cut by the soldiers’ swords. “please, let me help you. it’s the least i can do.”
“you’re not scared of me?” zuko asks in confusion, looking around wildly, afraid his father will pop out of the trees and strike him down.
“you saved me,” yue says, just as confused, because between the rescue and the obvious burn mark, she doesn’t really think this boy would have any reason to hurt her. also he’s kinda shrimpy, and yue, who has built up some strength through hard work, is pretty sure she could take him. “come on, i have some herbs. is there clean water nearby?”
shocked that anyone in the earth kingdom wouldn’t call for zuko’s arrest on the spot, zuko leads yue to a stream in the forest. yue silently patches his wounds, and then eventually asks if she can get a look at his eye. apart from the initial work of the fire nation healers, zuko hadn’t really done much to treat his eye, and it’s so badly crusted he can barely see out of it. when yue reaches for him, he jerks away.
“i don’t need your help!” he snaps, standing and shaking himself off. “if it weren’t for you, i wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with.”
“excuse me.” says yue, standing as well, because who is he to talk to her that way? “i didn’t ask you for help, you chose to do that. and you’re mad at those soldiers, not me, so why don’t you try being a little nicer?”
they stare at each other furiously for a moment. then yue sighs and says “i think i can help you with your eye, so that you can see. let me do that and i’ll leave you alone.”
it’s painful, and a very slow process, but with water warmed by zuko’s bending (”just heat up the water.” “someone could see!” “we’re in the middle of a literal forest! who’s spying! the frogs???”) and a few medicinal herbs, yue manages to clear away most of the crust and dead skin over zuko’s eye. when he finally opens it again, he’s shocked to find that he can see.
“well, i won’t bother you anymore,” yue says huffily, moving to leave the forest. as she does, she realizes she doesn’t know where the heck she is. zuko’s still marveling at how different the world looks with two eyes.
“umm, which way is out?” yue asks him. zuko snaps back to reality and says “oh, um. i’ll show you.” because he is, admittedly, grateful.
of course, when they try to leave the forest, they run into bandits and barely escape. then yue reccomends they take a country road, and zuko reluctantly agrees, except they run into more bandits. after the fourth round of bandits in two weeks, they’re convinced they’ve been cursed with bad luck.
“can we just go to a town or a city?” yue asks, panting from their desperate escape. “we’re not having much luck living in the wild.”
“i was fine until you showed up!” zuko retorts, panting as well. “fine! then i’ll leave!” yue yells back.
“wait,” zuko says, and yue turns, tapping her foot impatiently. “i’m sorry,” zuko says, to yue’s shock, because if her few weeks with this kid who calls himself lee has taught her anything, it’s that he does not apologize. “i don’t really...understand, um, local people and-“
“let me do the talking,” yue says, gentle as always, reaching for zuko’s arm. he smiles at her, a real, happy smile, and they make their way to the nearest earth kingdom town.
after that, yue and zuko are inseparable. they argue a lot, naturally, but they become good friends, too. yue says she always wanted a sibling, zuko says he always wanted a different sibling, so it’s nice, to have each other. without going into too much detail, they bond over their shared experiences of pre-determined destinies and overbearing parental figures (“my father said i have to get married for the good of the people! what does that even mean?” “tell me about it, my father got mad that i talked out of turn, so he tried to kill me.” “...he what?” “hahaha just kidding that’s not a normal thing that happens.”) no matter how scary it gets, they agree, the earth kingdom makes them feel freer than they ever have before.
does the food they cook suck because they’ve never had to cook in their lives? yes. do they sometimes put all four feet in their mouths because of how they speak to the poor people of the earth kingdom? yes. have they ticked off a lot of fellow teenagers for acting bratty? yes. (“what, so, you don’t have palaces around here?” yue asks. “yeah, where are the royal gardens?” zuko asks. “leave before we rock your shit.” says Every Teenager They Meet.) but at the end of the day, they’re happy.
at 15 they reach a city called gaoling. by now they can both do enough odd jobs that they always have some pocket money on them, although yue still struggles to behave in a way that isn’t dainty and delicate, and zuko still struggles with basic social skills.
they’re getting ready to move along, when they’re stopped by a girl. she’s young, about 11, and entirely blind. she’s being chased by a loud crowd, who seem to be just around the corner.
“please!” the girl says. “help hide me! they’re after me! i think they’re going to kidnap me!” yue and zuko, who are the captains of the child-protection-squad, immediately move to protect the girl.
“this way!” zuko says, and the three of them run down narrow streets and alleyways, in and around shops, until they’re stopped at the city gate by the mob going after the girl.
“alright, kid,” the leader, a tall, buff man with long greasy hair says. “you’ve stolen from us for the last time.”
“how many time do i have to tell you?” the girl bellows, much different than her sweet and innocent pleas from before. “i won fair and square! you’re just mad because you got your butt kicked by a little girl!”
before zuko and yue can even react, the girl pummels the mob of men with an avalanche of rocks, and then launches the earth they’re standing on into the air, landing them far outside of the city limits in a dizzying display.
“woo! that was awesome!” the girl says gleefully pumping her arms. zuko and yue are both trying to wrap their heads around what just happened. “thanks for the help. not that i needed it, i just didn’t want my parents’ guards to see me bending...i wasn’t really planning on running away, but, i mean, i doubt they’ll even notice i’m gone-”
“just a second,” yue says, collecting herself. zuko’s jaw is still hanging open. “who are you?”
the girl grins smugly. “name’s toph. who are you?”
i cannot fully express how much i love this idea. top-notch. god-tier. thank you again!
#rich kid runaways#100 follower celebration#zuko#yue#toph#atla#avatar the last airbender#life happens wherever queue are
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Stray Kids Playing Minecraft~
A/n: I hope you all enjoy, and if you liked, please leave a like! 💖💖💖💖
Tags: @straysrachaa @lordseochangbin @channiesmixtape @starryseung @felixsanxchatbot @jisungsjheekies @mrbangchannie
Chan
- doesn't know almost anything about Minecraft the first time around but he plays with you to make you happy
- you have to baby him for a while
- BUT THEN!
- He goes and learns about the game in his free time
- and then he pleasantly surprises you now that you he doesn't suck anymore
- and most peculiar of all
- he got really interested in redstone
- boi can make some INVENTIONS
- His house is like, fully automated - farm and all
- it makes you jealous but also very proud
- a pretty big pacifist
- shears, veggies and bread is all he needs
- he still big soft baby but he smart baby now
- also, would totally run around with a pumpkin on his head if you could still wear them in the latest version
Lee Know
- would kill everything that moves
- would hoard all the meat and refuse to give you any
- deforestation at its finest
- king of surplus
- playing with him is actually playing by yourself cuz he goes off on his own
- builds himself a goddamn empire!
- and no one knows where it is
- if he catches you inside his house without permission: shoot first, ask questions never
- mobs fear him, not the other way around
- will give you items cuz you're a charity cause
- actually shares when you both go mining though
- but let's face it, he's just OP
- would try to get all the cats
- totally to chase away creepers
- not because he wants an army of them or anything
- gets annoyed that he has to constantly fish because the cats keep taking them but won't be tamed by him
- he totally did not search for mine shafts just for name tags to name his cats
- DO NOT HURT HIS CATS
- or he'd cancel you in-game and irl too
Changbin
- would be super excited to play Minecraft with his friends
- he would be the first on the server to scout out the land and get resources
- however, no one warned him about night fall
- and all the creepy, scary things that spawned
- changbin lives in the ground now
- he dug a hole at the base of the mountain to take refuge during the night and never looked back
- normal person? No way! He was a mole now!
- the best at mining and interior rock design
- he would only resurface to seek out food and animals
- it was Changbin who stole all the cows and sheep, so you couldn't find them for felix
- he would have three large pins just next to his mountain
- lots of cows, rainbow sheep and pigs with saddles
- " uh...so I found these pins of animals and like...no house?"
- "What?"
- "I think the magical Minecraft fairy spawned it into the world?"
- "It's super weird. But I'm gonna kill some cows for their leather"
- "DON'T YOU TOUCH MY COWS!"
- and to your shock, a secret door in the mountain opens and Changbin comes running out
- the door made courtesy of Chan
- "He's got a diamond sword already?!?"
- it's the last thing you scream as he kills you for being near his cows
- and after a round of feeding and breeding, he disappears back into his hole
Hyunjin
- would only be about building
- he would be the first one to have a diamond pickaxe just so he could mine cobblestone faster
- would also get efficiency V just so he could speed run through the mines
- would wander through different biomes for days to collect clay so he could make concrete
- and while you're busy actually playing the game, he would beg for you to pick flowers on your trip so he can dye the concrete different colors
- his first house would be a mansion
- but he would give up half way because he kept falling off the roof and dying
- would forget he is actually playing the game and would get scared when night falls and mobs start spawning in his unlit house
- not like you didn't tell him countless times to put down torches
- but he kept saying they ruined his aesthetic
- but now he keeps dying because mobs are literally waiting at his spawn point, killing him over and over and over again
- and he begs you to set the time to day and kill the mobs for him
- but you just laugh uncontrollably at him because karma really is a bitch
- but in the end, he ends up making an entire city, and invites the others to come and play on the server.
Jisung
- would be just like Chan
- a pure ass baby when it comes to playing minecraft, but super eager to play the game
- his first spawn would be in the middle of the night (because of server)
- and you would try to tell him to not leave the safety of spawn, but he just wouldn't listen
- "Listen, Y/n, I know what I'm doing! I'm a pro at this!"
- and he would run confidently into the night, like the actual idiot that he is
- he wouldn't get too far before he was attacked by all the mobs and got killed
- "Well that was just rude!"
- "Oh my god Jisung, I told you not to do it."
- "Well how was I supposed to know they were going to kill me?!"
- and you can only shake your head at his stupidity
- he would eventually wait until daytime, but unfortunately all of his items would be lost due to despawning
- it's not like either one of you were equipped to go and retrieve his items
- zombies sucked man! And skeletons are the worst!
- but with a new day comes a new adventure and you both head out to find a place to call home
- Jisung would run the entire way, even though he had no food to keep his hunger up
- he also wouldn't be paying attention to where he was going and would fall into a hole
- a very BIG hole
- 'J.One fell from a high place'
- "Really Jisung?"
- "I couldn't see it!"
- playing with Jisung would be a very challenging task, because he would never learn
- because by the time he had diamond armor and ready to fight the wither, he would have fallen from fifteen cliffs, twenty holes in caves and three ravines
- "Jisung if you die one more time I swear to god!"
- 'J.One fell from a high place'
- "That's it! I quit!"
Felix
- You would be so hyped to play with Felix
- You've seen him play other games, so you knew he'd be great at minecraft
- Getting the server had been his idea, the easiest way everyone could play together
- First day of spawn, Felix would already be listing off the things that you would need to accomplish
- wood, cobblestone, iron, seeds, sheep
- it was all just so overwhelming
- by the time you make your first complete set of wooden tools, felix would have iron tools already
- he'd been ten feet underground, digging for more resources while tasking you to find the animals for food, wool and feathers
- easier said then done
- and when he resurfaces and you don't have animals, he would simply sigh and go do it himself
- which would upset you because you would spend hours looking for just one god damn cow
- meanwhile, Felix would take five steps in one direction and come across hundreds of cows!!!
- WHERE DID ALL THESE COWS COME FROM?!?!?
- he'd travel the whole map just to find a jungle to get coco beans
- seriously though, how did he find the fucking jungle?
- it like doesn't exist
- except it does and Minho most likely lives there with all his cats
- Also, there's pandas!!!!!
- Felix would try and tame a panda, even though it's not possible
- When not trying to show off, Felix would be in his crappy little hut (cause hyunjin was still making the city), making cookies and cakes because why wouldn't he?
- at least he shares, unlike someone.....
- Felix would be absolutely unstoppable at the game, while you struggle to get to iron level armor (while trying to keep Jisung alive)
- Felix would have just a big ego
- it's okay though. One strike from Seungmin's sword and he'd be put back into his place
- Revenge is a dish best served Seungmin.
Seungmin
- the worst of the worst
- he would be the one to pretend to not know the game
- but really, he would be a minecraft expert
- read: troll
- every chance he would get, Seungmin would try to do something to ruin your day
- don't ever go mining with him. EVER!
- he would be the one to lead over a creeper to you in a ravine while you're trying to mine diamonds, right next to a lava pool
- the first one to explode wouldn't do any damage, thankfully
- "Don't you dare bring a creeper over here!"
- "I wouldn't."
- somehow, you wouldn't be convinced
- but you decided to trust him
- y/n clown
- you're just mining away at the diamond when a big explosion happens
- and you notice two things
- 1. the diamonds and the surrounding area were blown up
- 2. you were now in the pool of lava, dying
- meanwhile, Seungmin was running away, cackling like the evil little shit that he was
- the holy terror, that's what they would call him
- he would purposefully go out and fight creepers just to gather their gunpowder so he could make dynamite
- no one was safe from him
- except Minho
- because no one knew where he was
I.N.
- Jeongin would spend at least two days researching things for the game before actually playing
- he would want to have some knowledge before walking into hell that was the Stray Kids server
- it's okay though, because everyone loves Jeongin
- really, he wouldn't need to do a thing
- diamond armor, enchanted? check
- enchanted weapons? check
- his own cat and dog? double check
- everyone would do anything for this baby
- but Jeongin isn't one to mooch *coughJisungcough*
- even with all his presents, he would still start with the basics of punching a tree
- while others have found this skills in cooking, mining, falling into holes, redstone and building
- jeongin would be more interested in potions and enchanting
- YOU'RE A WIZARD INNIE!
- Jeongin would quickly master potion brewing
- even if it meant battling the scary blazes in the nether
- huh, so that's why Changbin was screaming so much
- he would be hired by Minho to make him potions of breathing so he could go claim an ocean monument
- Jeongin would only do it if he could help
- surprisingly Minho agrees and for the first time in 84 years, everyone gets to see Minho's character
#stray kids#skz#kpop#fanfic#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#skz scenarios#skz imagines#kpop fanfic#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#bang chan#lee know#changbin#hyunjin#jisung#felix#seungmin#jeongin#han#lee minho#i.n
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Toku Tuesday 11: Vampire Mobsters
I’ve had a bit of trouble keeping up with Toku Tuesday lately... so eternal gratitude to @mogsk (❤️) for stepping in to come up with some programs for me to run. (We’re certainly not done with e.g. Heisei-era godzilla either! I’m just a bit overwhelmed with projects atm.)
Tonight we’re going to be investigating one of the fascinating avenues she’s prepared for us, with a couple of films bringing stylish takes to the question of ‘what if the mob literally sucked your blood’. Our first is Gackt vehicle Moon Child (2003), ...
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Here’s how Mogs described it, with some fascinating little details:
Starring Hyde, lead singer of visual Kei superstars L’arc En Ciel, and GACKT, former lead singer of visual Kei superstars Malice Mizer (this film is defs going for a particular audience) Moon Child is the story of the grim futuristic world of 2014 where, in the wake of a major economic collapse, the people of Japan are forced to immigrate to mainland China. Enter Sho, an aspiring mobster who, as a child, was rescued from being killed by a proper mobster by Kei, a man who feeds on human blood and never seems to grow old...hmmm… As time goes on, Sho grows up and follows his dream of crimestery under Kei’s watchful eye, but as things get more and more complicated, will one lonely vampire be enough to keep him safe?
The screenplay was penned by Gackt himself (alongside the directorial duo of Kishu Izuchi and Takahisa Zeze) and carries all the egotistical grandeur of anything else he’s ever done. Prior to this, Zeze, was mostly known for “pink” films, the Japanese term for sexploitation/softcore pornography, with titles like “Endless Sex” and “Anarchy in Japansuke: The Woman Who Comes When Watched”. He is noted however as tending to introduce deeper social commentary into his films than his contemporaries in the genre and also tends to actively shy away from explicit depictions of sexual assault. Also notorious for trying to give his films wild names which are often then changed by the studios he works for (e.g. “My Existence Is a Phenomenon Based on the Hypothesis of Blue Light Generated by Organic Currency” being changed to “Amazon Garden: Uniform Lesbians”
So this sounds like it’s going to be fascinating on multiple levels! So tragic that pink films aren’t getting esoteric VN-length titles. I have no idea if being a visual kei star translates into skillful screenwriting, but I guess we’re soon to find out!
Our second film brings in our friend Takashi Miike, whose vast filmography we last sampled with Zebraman. It’s called Yakuza Apocalypse and it dropped just five years ago in 2015:
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The yakuza family of Genyo Kamura enjoys a prosperous and relatively peaceful existence under his benevolent leadership and fearless attitude. How can he maintain such a reputation among the cold and bloodthirsty world of the Yakuza? Because he’s a mostly-immortal vampire of course! But when a pair of vampire hunters come to end his “eternal” life he makes one last ditch effort by turning his second-in-command, Akira Kageyama, into a vampire as well! Problem is, Akira has no idea that his boss is a vampire and doesn’t know what to do with his sudden urge to drink blood, leading to him becoming patient zero of a vampire epidemic!
Directed by the legendary Takashi Miike who needs no introduction, and stars Indonesian action star Yayan Ruhian in his first role outside of Indonesia.
I have been eager to witness more of Miike’s stuff since Zebraman, and moreover after that trailer I need to know what that weird yellow bear thing turns out to be.
Toku Tuesday 11 is going to be starting in about 25 minutes at 8pm UK time! Running as usual at twitch.tv/canmom Hope to see you there for some surely memorable films...
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Since you like mob AUs, here’s a prompt u thought of: Peter is dating Beck or whoever, who doesn’t treat him right. What Peter doesn’t know is that his bf is a mob boss. Mob boss tony kidnaps peter out of revenge towards beck or for info or whatever. Soon he realizes peter has no idea what’s going on, and decides to keep him. Peter isn’t too upset about that.
I finagled with the prompt a little bit, Tony deliberately kidnaps Peter because he has no patience for domestic violence and is basically offended that Beck sucks. The rest is true to the prompt!
Warming: mentions of violence, mentions of domestic violence, age difference, this is more preslash than anything.
*
Tony feels bad that poor Peter looks so damn terrified but snatching him off the street seemed less... invasive than his other options. Plus its easier to leave less evidence that way and while he doesn’t give a shit what Beck thinks he doesn’t want to deal with him deciding to harass the hell out of him about his kidnapped boyfriend either.
He leans into the table and Peter immediately leans back. Tony sighs, “you know you deserve better than that piece of shit, right?” he asks. The kid has to know, he has to. Tony has looked into him because he had to wonder how the hell Quentin Beck, smart but ultimately an unhinged jackass with a temper, landed someone so... amazing. Peter is smart, his credentials prove it, his social media is all related to various social issues he cares about so he’s compassionate, and he’s stupid attractive. Like Beck deserved someone like that even before considering the whole ‘beats his boyfriend’ thing.
Its not that Tony has morals, he doesn’t really because they aren’t useful to him, but he’s got his limits. They’re few and far in between but domestic violence lands on his rather short list so that had made up his mind. The fact that Beck would be missing Peter is mostly an afterthought to Peter being removed from a shitty environment.
“As opposed to what, you? You literally snatched me off the street!” Peter says, voice shrill but its ballsy nonetheless. More ballsy than half the supposedly tough criminals he roughs up on a regular basis. By now most of them would be begging, but not Peter. But then surviving what he did gives a person a certain kind of strength, Tony knows.
“No, not really. I’m mostly here to mess Beck’s business up, and your lack of presence does that but I might as well kill two birds with one stone by telling you that you should get out. I mean I get it if you can’t, all things considered, but I’m well connected myself so if Beck think he can outdo-”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Peter asks, voice still several octaves higher than normal.
Tony frowns for a moment as something occurs to him. “There’s no way you don't know...”
Peter rolls his eyes looking semi hysterical, “well clearly I fucking don’t because I have no idea what this is and I’d really like to go home, please,” he says, voice cracking as he starts sniffling towards the end.
Across the room Rhodey gives him a look. “Keep it to yourself Rhodes,” Tony tells him.
“Just saying,” Rhodey murmurs.
Peter turns to face him, frowning. “Did he say something?”
“Not with words. Twenty five years of friendship has led to me being really, really good at reading his body language. As for home do you have anywhere else you could go that isn’t back to Beck? Seriously, that guy is a piece of shit. And a mob boss. That’s what this whole thing is about. He keeps messing with my business and I don’t really take kindly to that,” he says, sparing Peter the details. Mostly because he doesn’t want Peter to think he’ll become the details.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re a real charmer in comparison,” Peter mumbles.
He doesn’t expect Rhodey to be the one to snort but he does, “yeah he’s a murderer but he’d never hit his significant other,” he says and the unshakable confidence in his voice is touching, really. Peter slumps a little in his seat and the poor thing looks desolate. He’d try and comfort him but he’s sure he wouldn’t be any good at it given that Peter is probably, and rightfully, afraid of him too.
The last thing he expects is for Peter to burst into tears though he supposes they’ve come later than normal. Usually he doesn’t do this sort of thing, target family, because he finds it distasteful but on the rare occasion he breaks that general rule they usually cry four seconds into it, not several minutes into it. He sighs, “aside from the kidnapping thing, what’s wrong?” he asks.
Rhodey’s eyebrows would have hit his hairline if he had one but instead he just looks at Tony like he’s a god damn moron. Which, in hindsight, his question does sound really stupid. “You kidnapped me,” Peter says, voice gone back to that shrill tone he’d had before. “You fucking kidnapped me and you’ve been nicer to me for the last twenty minutes than Quent has in the last five years,” he finishes right before crying even harder.
He looks at Rhodey, who squints and lifts his hands into the air in a ‘what the fuck’ motion. Great, so he can’t expect any help from him apparently. Some right hand man he is, Pepper is going to replace him soon if he keeps it up. “Look, you don’t need to go back. Its not as hard to make people disappear as cops think it is provided you know what you’re doing. Peter Parker doesn’t even need to exist and Beck isn’t competent enough to find whatever fake name you choose, trust me on that.”
Peter sniffles harshly but calms a little at least. “I’m no- not running away,” he mumbles.
“Taking necessary precautions isn’t running away, I know you know Beck better than I do and I know he doesn’t back down easy. He will try and hunt you down,” Tony says but not unkindly. He gets it, really, he does. He and his mother lived it.
Peter considers this a moment before he sits up a little straighter, still crying but the tears are silent. “You said you had connections. Do you have any way I can stay in New York and avoid Quent?”
Not exactly given that that’s a tall order. “Stay here as long as you want, we can work out the details later when you’re in a better position to land on your feet. And when I get the time to consider the logistics of that. I highly doubt Beck will bother you here though, I have a reputation and even he’s not stupid enough to test me.”
*
Peter knows Tony has to be dangerous, it comes with the whole mob thing and Tony isn’t shy about referencing violence at all. Peter doesn’t think he’d be shyer if he actually had to follow through on his words either, there’s just something about the easy way he talks about inflicting pain on people that Peter thinks is experienced. He has yet to see any evidence of it though and its been a month, he’s had time but Tony has been nothing but kind to him to an unusual degree if the reactions of everyone else around him is any indication.
Everyone from his business partner, Pepper, to Rhodey seem to find Tony’s fascination with him odd but Peter doesn’t so much mind if he gets to benefit from it. He’s wanted to leave Quent for a long time but he’d always suspected that he hadn’t reached his peak of violence and that’s partially why he stayed. The other part was not knowing where to go and he knew damn well that Quent wouldn’t just let him go.
So it was kind of convenient that Tony showed up when he did and he’s held up his end of the bargain. Peter hasn’t had to deal with Quent since Tony pulled him off a random street and he doesn’t mind that he has to take Natasha with him everywhere he goes. Its inconvenient but he’ll take that over having to deal with whatever Quent would try if he managed to find him again. Or gain access to him, he’s sure Quent figured out where he went by now when he hasn’t really been shy about it.
And that’s how Peter knows in his heart of hearts that Tony’s reputation isn’t just to be believed, but to be actively feared. Quent is mean and possessive and Peter never thought he could just walk out of their relationship but thanks to whatever it is that Tony does to people he managed.
“What?” Tony asks, probably sensing Peter staring at him.
“Why are people so afraid of you? I’ve never even heard you raise your voice,” he says. He’s seen Tony pissed off and he’s got a habit for mumbling in Italian but he doesn’t seem much for raising his voice even when actively livid. Peter finds it hard to be afraid of him even if he knows he should be.
Tony laughs a little, “you haven’t heard me yell because I’ve purposefully never yelled around you, not because I don’t. And people are afraid of me because I’m single minded in my goals and have a nasty habit of achieving them no matter the cost. They’ve grown wise not to get in my way.”
And there it is again, that slightly threatening nature but its hard to reconcile that with the guy who, after kidnapping him, immediately told him he deserved better than the treatment he was getting at home. Its hard to believe someone can sit on extremes that large, that someone would offer a perfect stranger a home and protection for literally no reason in one second and then do some kind of great violence the next. Rhodey said Tony was a murderer and that statement was confident, fact, but Peter just doesn’t see how Tony could do it. But then apparently he’s gone through the trouble of making sure Peter didn’t have to hear him yell.
“Why would you do that?” he asks because he knows Tony has some surprisingly kind reason for doing that.
He shrugs, “I figured after being yelled at as much as you have you probably didn’t like hearing people yell now. Probably triggers a stress response so we all freak out when you aren’t in the room.”
We all. Peter frowns because it isn’t just Tony, he’d made that order to everyone and he knows they’ll all listen, even Natasha even though she’s the most likely to tell Tony no. Partially because of sibling rivalry and also because she seems the least afraid of him next to Rhodey. “You told everyone not to yell in my presence because you didn’t want to stress me out? I can handle yelling, I’m not glass.” He doesn’t know why he’s prickling to this when its actually incredibly kind of Tony, and so unexpected the way all his kindnesses have been.
Tony doesn’t look ruffled though, instead he looks almost a little proud. “Oh I know you aren’t glass, and this isn’t a question of whether or not you can handle something. Its more making sure you don’t need to, not when you’re clearly still waiting for the shoe to drop. After that you can be fair game if you really want it,” he says, lips twitching up a little.
Peter loses that sharp edge of feeling he’d had and relaxes. “Thank you,” he says softly, “you don’t need to do any of that.”
Tony shakes his head though, “basic care, its not an issue and its always kind of a funny test of self control. You don’t understand Italian though, so I do most of my venting that way.”
So Peter has noticed. “I have a hard time reconciling this with someone who’s supposedly dangerous,” he says, blurting it out accidentally.
Tony doesn’t take offense to it, he just looks Peter up and down. “People aren’t as simple as we like to think and being capable of murder doesn’t make me incapable of not being a dick. I wouldn’t hurt you, I don’t have reason to, but I’m known as the Merchant of Death for a reason.”
Merchant of Death, he’s heard that before but he can’t remember where. Doesn’t matter know because he can figure out what that means at least in part. “Why do you keep doing that, reminding me that you’re like... dangerous or whatever?”
“Because I don’t want you to be surprised,” Tony tells him. “Its a lot easier to make sure that doesn’t happen if you know what to expect.”
“Why does that matter to you though?” It shouldn’t, Peter isn’t his responsibility and he’s surprisingly caring for someone who has no reason to be. Peter has had friends that went less out of their way to accommodate for him than Tony has with zero connection to him.
“People fear me, but that doesn’t always mean that they won’t test me. Apparently Beck didn’t even tell you how he made his money and that’s a bad idea, keeping someone in the dark like that. God knows what would have happened to you if I had more bad intentions than screwing with your ex’s life.”
Peter frowns again because its hard, figuring out what the hell is going on in Tony’s head. “So you’re being honest with me in case what, someone else kidnaps me? Because that seems unlikely.” What are the chances he’d be kidnapped by another mob? He didn’t even know he was affiliated with the first one in any way so it seems a bit much to be kidnapped by a third.
“Or worse, yes. And its not as unlikely as you think, none of us are exactly pleasant to piss off and I’ve got an impressive talent for pissing people off. Everyone who’s around me is a target but you’re the only one who refuses to carry a gun.” Right, Peter had forgot about that. He hadn’t anticipated reacting so strongly but given the circumstances he thinks his meltdown wasn’t as bad as it could have been and Tony dropped the idea of him carrying around a gun for protection real quick.
“My uncle Ben got shot and killed in a robbery gone wrong when I was a teenager,” Peter says. “And I didn’t like guns before that either. Or anything lethal.” Expect Quent, if Tony’s hinting is to be believed but then he’s always had a thing for bad boys. Women? His taste is normal and results in pretty good relationships in his experience. Men? He seemingly can’t pick them any worse than he has previously and Quent is a whole new level of garbage for him.
Tony looks him over for a moment, “you should learn some self defense though, if for no other reason than it being generally useful. Natasha would probably be happy to teach you.”
Peter wrinkles his nose, “can I get someone less terrifying?”
He doesn’t expect it when Tony cracks up laughing but it looks a lot nicer on him than the air of seriousness that usually taints his presence. “She might be the least scary we’ve got,” he tells Peter and starts laughing harder at whatever face he’s making.
“If that’s the least scary you’ve got I feel so bad for anyone who tries to fuck with you.”
*
Peter doesn’t take to self defense well and Natasha clearly doesn’t know what to do with that, but that makes it kind of fun to watch. “None of this is difficult, what is so confusing to you that you?” she asks Peter, who is on the floor breathing hard.
“Nothing, he just doesn’t want to hurt you,” Bucky says from the other side of the room where he’s watching. Tony raises an eyebrow but Bucky only shrugs.
Natasha rolls her eyes at Peter, “trust me, there’s no way you can do any real damage to me. First of all you’re weak, second of all you have almost no skills, and third, I have a high pain tolerance anyway. Get up and stop worrying about doing damage you can’t even do,” Natasha tells him.
Its easy to see Peter isn’t suited to this, at least not the way Natasha is teaching it. “Just give him a basic lesson in self defense moves, none lethal ways for him to buy himself enough time to get out of a given situation,” Tony tells her. “He’ll be resistant to learning much else.” Peter has made it clear he has a distaste for hurting people in any manner but especially the kind of brutal manner Natasha is used to and desensitized from.
“You can get out of a situation faster if you stab them,” Natasha tells Peter specifically and he does that thing that he does sometimes when he’s reminded that he’s in an environment that’s more violent than he agrees with.
He gives Natasha an unimpressed look with a surprising amount of steely strength in his gaze. “I’m not stabbing people because you think that’s the only way to get anything done,” he snaps. His response clearly comes as a surprise to Natasha and Bucky but not so much to Tony. He’d been that immediately brave off the bat with him and he didn’t lose his confidence when he found out who he was. Peter has a quiet kind of strength that Tony admires and Natasha doesn’t know what to do with given that people don’t often test her. She’s unnerving at the very least, its why Tony chose her specifically to be his lead enforcer. That, and people are stupid enough to underestimate her because she’s a woman.
Natasha looks him over for a long moment, “alright, then.”
For the next hour Natasha does a slightly better job teaching Peter how to break holds and other simple self defense moves that he picks up on a little faster than how to properly maim someone. Peter doesn’t like it any, that much is obvious, but he does pay attention to Natasha and does his best to pick up what she’s trying to teach at least until Natasha gets bored enough to dismiss him.
“What, don’t like that this one didn’t immediately think he could take you out?” Tony asks her as she walks over. Across the room Bucky snorts and laughs probably because he’s seen people try and fail about a million times. Hell, at this point he’s failed at it a million times too. He might have trained her but she’s better at killing people than he is, try as he might. Probably because he actually likes people and seems to feel the fallout of having killed someone in a way Natasha doesn’t. Tony isn’t sure if she’s good at compartmentalizing or if she actually doesn’t feel anything about it and he doesn’t care either, her skills suit him.
Her lips quirk up a bit at the corners and she shakes her head. “No, actually. Its refreshing to have someone in here who immediately knows I can kick his ass and have something to teach. I approve,” she tells him.
Tony frowns, “what?”
“Of Peter, I approve. We all do, but Rhodey seems to think you’ll listen to me the best for whatever reason. I think you’d listen to him but what do I know, I’m only your sister,” she mumbles, shaking her head and walking off.
“Not that you admit that out loud often,” Tony calls after her in a teasing manner.
“Like you admit you’re related to Howard often either, you should understand,” Natasha tells him, grinning at him as she leaves the room.
“God, she’s fucking unsettling when she smiles,” Bucky says, coming up beside him.
Tony looks him over and he’s got that stupid lovestruck look on his face like he always does. Tony rolls his eyes, “just ask her out, god. What the fuck are you waiting for, Judgement Day?”
“You don’t even believe in God,” Bucky points out.
“Yeah, exactly. You’re waiting for a moment that’s never going to come so make your own moment. And what’s this about approving of Peter?”
*
Peter doesn’t expect the clothes, or the shoes, or anything else Tony must have done research on to get right. Everything is exactly the kind of thing he would have picked up for himself if he had the chance and its sweet, if a little unnerving at the same time.
“This is cute,” Natasha says, picking up a dress as she walks in without bothering to knock. He’s learned that she’s a bit of a pest when she likes people, but it takes her a lot of time to warm up to them.
“I can’t imagine you wearing a dress,” he tells her. All he’s seen her in is all black outfits that looked a bit like she was ready to rob someone and after mentioning her style choices to her once he discovered they were purposeful, and also a bit of a joke. She’s got a weird sense of humor but Peter can deal with that.
“I wear dresses all the time, you just don’t see me in them,” she tells Peter, grinning. “You should wear this later,” she adds, handing him the dress.
He takes it, frowning. “O...kay? Am I supposed to be going somewhere?”
She nods, “yes, on a date with Tony because he’s never going to ask you and we’re all tired of waiting around.” Peter must look more confused and it makes Natasha roll her eyes. “Look, normally I stay out of anything that isn’t a stabbing but the fact that you guys are a good match is clear and I doubt another good match for Tony is going to just show up. He’s difficult to get along with.”
Peter has never found that to be true. “I don’t see how he’s even still single. I mean yeah, maybe the guy runs a mob and he’s like... a little overdramatic and whatever but he’s really generous.”
Natasha laughs, “no, he’s not. He’s mean, cruel, sometimes even delights in it, and generally speaking an arrogant asshole. Usually you have to know him to get past all that but its like you skipped that and went straight to part where you find out he has personality traits that aren’t threatening to kill someone. And he listens to you.”
She says that like its important but Tony listens to everyone. “I don’t see why you didn’t try and get him and Rhodey together if that was a concern.” Rhodey knows him better than anyone, that much is clear so it seems to Peter that he’d be a better choice.
Judging from the look on Natasha’s face its not as good an idea as he thought it was. “He’s married to Pepper. We need to work on your observation skills if you didn’t notice the ring. Its not exactly like its hard to see,” she says. Now that Peter thinks about it he had noticed a silver ring, but hadn’t clued in to the fact that it was on his ring finger. Maybe Natasha has a point about his observation skills.
“What makes you think Tony even has an interest?” He knows he’s an unusual case but he’s not a total dunce in the observation department so he knows its because he’s got this thing with domestic violence, has no patience for it. He’s not so sure his... appreciation goes beyond that.
“You tell him ‘no.’ Trust me there’s nothing Tony values more than people who aren’t afraid of him. Even if he’s acted like a total Bond villain in an attempt to seem all dangerous or whatever. You should know that I’m actually the dangerous one, Tony’s like a grumpy puppy. He seems mean but he actually just wants a treat,” Natasha says, grinning.
Bucky is right, it is unnerving when she smiles. “What makes you think I’m interested?”
“The fact that you took this long to ask that,” she points out.
Alright, he’ll give her that. So he smiles a little, sitting on the edge of his bed, dress still in hand. “He does kind of act like a Bond villain. You know people are afraid of him because no one points it out,” he says, snickering.
Natasha snorts and starts laughing and just like that its like he’s like he’s broken through some kind of barrier that makes Natasha chatter and a hell of a lot weirder, but not in a bad way. Peter finds her less intimidating when she’s not staring through him like she can see his thoughts, and he also finds he likes her sense of humor when he’s not just getting bits and pieces of it.
“You don’t think this is too soon, do you?” he asks her as she leaves.
She shrugs, “probably, but the good news is that Tony has a bad habit of being one hundred percent in or one hundred percent out, he doesn’t do middle ground well. So if you let him, he’ll be more than devoted to you and you know what that looks like,” she says.
Yeah, he does so he nods. “Okay.”
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I had a minecraft dream last night...
This is going to be a long post, but bear eith me, and take the time to read it.
I don't dream about minecraft very often. In fact this might be a first. I'm still in bed while writing this, as im afraid if I wait I'll lose a bunch of the memories.
It involved myself and a few members of the Dream SMP getting sucked into MC. Ironic, I know. Dream, George, Badboyhalo, Tecnoblade, Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, and myself. We all looked like our avatars... mostly, and even had some special skills i'll get into later.
To be clear, they were as they are in real life in terms of personality.
I've not watched the dream smp yet... maybe I should start soon. Anyway, side tracked...
The world worked differently than normal MC. It was more realistic, especially the combat and movement. Anything you can do irl you can do here. The drawback was that it made everything harder and more exhausting.
I was dragged in a month before the others, where over the next four weeks, I'd figure out how the lives system works; how difficult movement was; that crafting was nearly the same as normal mc; and how to build.
Five lives. There was a little tracker on the back of your hand, five squares for five lives. Each life you lost, a square would disappear. But it wasnt that simple. Every tine you died you'd feel the affects of the world more. Eating took longer, everything cost more and more realistic amounts of effort, and most importantly... taking damage would actually hurt.
On your first life damage was less of a danger and more of a 'stat' to just be aware of. Getting attacked, shot, exploded next to, ect wasn't too bad. But the more you died the more these things started to get scary. Arrows would tear their way in and ve painful to remove. You'd bleed and have actual wounds that needed care.
By the time the smp members were spawning in, I'd already been reduced to my last life. I was never good at minecraft, though im alright irl with a bow it didnt help much.
You spawn in unconcious. I'd lost my first life that way. I spawned above water. A painless drowning. I hadn't gone back to the ocean since, it scared the fuck out of me.
The first to arrive was Techno. I went back to spawn for the good sheep spawns there. Found him asleep in the grass. He was lucky no creepers had spawned.
Nearly everyone was bigger than me, I'm pretty small, so hauling this guys limp piglin ass all the way to my little safety shack was really hard.
Then Dream and George one after another. Badboy. Tommy... and finally Wilbur.
Wilbur was... a special case. He was a ghost. Just like his ghostbur skin had been. Fully awake, really freaking out. I was near collapsing from taking everyone else to my home, wasnt really much of a comfort, but I at least managed to convince him to come with me after the sun started to dip.
When we got back Wilbur helped me make beds. Couldn't have everyone sleeping propped up against the walls... Wilbur couldn't grab anything, but he could open and close chests. He also found out he could manafest things like his guitar, and a plushie orca. Things that made him a little less anxious. It was nice to hear music again.
I didnt get to talk to him long. We finished the beds, put everyone on one, then I immediatly konked the fuck out over the crafting table.
By the time I woke up, everyone was already awake and talking. The typical suspects. Why are we here, how, what happened, is this even real. You get the picture. I guess usually social anxiety, especially in the presence of people I admire so much, would've been a big stressor but after a month alone in this world I damn near started bawling at the thought of someone else even existing.
I told them all I know. We are stuck here, we have lives, dont fucking lose them it makes the game harder. The physics are just as janky as regular minecraft, mobs are much more articulated, armour actually has weight and at this point I wasnt aware of the little buffs everyone had to a particular skill.
Dream was incredibly good at exploiting the game's wonky system and parkouring, even of he couldnt nessesarily do it irl.
Techno was suddenly extremely knowledgeable about combat and could handle most weapons effectively. He was also a piglin-type guy which made him immune to fire.
George's coding skills translated directly into redstone knowledge, letting him build ridiculous machines with enough respources.
Tommy had incredible luck with loot and generally got good enchants.
And Bad was, thanks to his skin, some form of demonic entity and would be completely ignored by most hostile mobs.
Wilbur, as you know, was a ghost who could phase through anything and summon ghostly items.
We didn't find out everyone's special trait immediatly, of course. It happened over many days of trail and error trying to collect resources, build, and have fun.
Turns out my skill was useless by myself, hence why I never found it before they arrived. Anything I gave to another person was twice as effective. Healing items helped more, food would fill them on smaller portions, armour would get a free temporary enchant depending on what they needed.
I'd never liked playing minecraft alone.
I'm losing some of the dream, I shoukd wtite some bullet points down or this post will be miles long.
Tommy accidently befriended a wolf, he named it Wilbur to mess with Wilbur. We had two Wilburs.
Bad was constantly driven up the wall by peoples language but truly was using it as a coping mechanism early on because he was afraid of being stuck here forever. We made sure to swear occasionally so he'd get the oportunity to yell at us.
Techno lost his first life when a creeper blast threw him directly into Dream's sword.
Dream never got over it.
Wilbur started making more songs and even made a few targetted at the groups adventures.
Wilbur descovered if he goes into the floor he cant tell which was is up, this terrified him, he never went underground again.
George made automatic farms and eventually even non-minecraft typical things like a morning alarm clock, a compass that pointed to the nearest village, and invented new armour that was more lightweight but still protective.
Wilbur the wolf regularly barked at and mauled giant spiders before they got anywhere near the house, much to literally everyone's relief.
Bad learned how to read and write enchanting table symbols.
I taught Dream how to repair his clothes and in return he showed me how to build traps.
Techno learned he could talk hoglin, piglin, and villager.
Bad learned he could stare at endermen and mistakingly assumed everyone could so he told everyone else its ok to do so.
Tommy lost his first life to an enderman.
Wilbur worked with george for a whole week on special gloves that would let him touch stuff.
I took an arrow dangerously close to the lungs after Tomny's first respawn trying to bring him home.
Dream realised he couldn't take off his mask and wished he could see the world normally again, nobody knew what his vision was like.
Bad descovered a joy for cooking.
Bad also tamed a cat and named it Muffin.
Muffin the cat would ride Wilbur the wolf around.
Dream lost his first life to hunger after pushing himself for too long.
Techno took a wrong step in the neather and lost his second life to a seriously long fall.
I never knew what I looked like...
Tommy lost his second life being overrun by zombies without a weapon. We made a rule to never leave the house alone after this many deaths.
Bad descovered pretty late that milk is poisonous to him and thus cakes will kill him. He lost a life to cake. He was devastated.
Tommy built a cute campfire. He and Wilbur would mess around singing at it. Wolf Wilbur thoroughly enjoyed this.
I would stay up most of the night watching everyone sleep because I worried the house could get invaded or surrounded. They found out after Phantoms started spawning and made a rule that at least one of then would stay awake at night to make me feel better.
George built Dream an obstacle course with lots of moving parts and such. He ran it every morning.
I learned how to play guitar from Wilbur at the campfire.
Torches never burnt out after they arrived. No idea why.
That's all I can remember...
It was a hard dream, I was sad and angry sometimes... but the happy moments made it worth it.
I hope I return to that dream someday.
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My Childhood Trauma PTSD as Triggered by the Following Movie Montage
by BENJAMIN DREVLOW
That scene in American History X. You know the one. Or maybe it was Higher Learning, I always get those confused. That curb stomp scene always reminding me of the time I tripped and face-planted in the barn while corralling bull calves, to get castrated, my two front teeth chomping down on all that jagged concrete and manure, it adds a different flavor to the recurring nightmare I have, though in my case, usually nothing to do with race relations. I wonder if everybody else who watched that movie also missed the whole point of it. Except the Curb Stomp. Everybody remembers where they were when their stoner friend with big ideas about ending racism across the world made them watch the movie with the Curb Stomp.
~
Mel Gibson getting drawn and quartered in Braveheart. You may take our lives, but you will never take… our… FREE-DOM!
~
Mel Gibson ripping his shoulder out of its socket in Lethal Weapon.
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Mel Gibson torturing the shit out of Jesus, then blaming the women and Jews for everything, including his drunk-driving and plummeting career options.
~
Fuck pretty much any Mel Gibson movie. Except maybe that one with him and James Gardner and Jody Foster and all their comedy hijinks. It’s the gambler one but not The Gambler. But now that I think about it, isn’t Jody Foster a big Mel Gibson apologist? So I guess fuck that movie too.
~
Any movie where somebody gets shot or stabbed or thumbed in the eyeball or has one or both of their eyeballs squeezed or ripped out, which always reminds me of that time I got elbowed right below my eye but also on the eyeball and it literally pushed in my eyeball a millimeter and I still get double vision to this day whenever I line up a shot playing pool or line up a screw to hang a photo on the wall or sometimes re-hang the toilet paper dispenser next to the toilet. I’d been playing pickup basketball and my buddy who was like four inches taller than me elbowed me on a rebound and like I say I went down and lay there on my back and then all the blood started pooling in my eye socket and I couldn’t see anything and my friend couldn’t see my eyeball and he kept hissing through his teeth grossed out by it but then telling me it would okay and the whole time lying there thinking I’m thinking about my eyeball I’m thinking of the scene in Any Given Sunday where the guy’s eyeball is just lying there on the football field. I’m thinking of that closeup all the way to the hospital when they unwrap the mummy gauze from around my head and the ER doctor breathes a sigh of relief after peeling off all the dried blood to reveal that I needed fifteen stitches and I’d broken my orbital bone, but I still had my eye.
~
Any movie where somebody’s sitting there reading a book before bed, watching TV, gossiping with girlfriends, when the camera pulls back only to zoom back in on the dark night window behind them—cue the string section.
~
If I had to choose one, I’m thinking of that one zombie movie, something 28 Days something but not the one about Sandra Bullock finding love with Viggo in rehab. It’s not even about the zombies. It’s about the dark night window, not to be confused with the Dark Knight window, sorry that was a shitty pun for no good reason whatsoever, but also maybe not completely random with the guy from 28 Days also having played the scarecrow in Batman Begins where he sprays people with a drug and makes them see their worst fears, which never really did it for me, at least not like the secluded house with the zombies lurking around. I grew up in a big old farmhouse out in the barrens of northern Wisconsin. Lots of windows, no shades. In so many ways I grew up in the dark. It wasn’t the zombies I worried about. It was the methheads. Which, sure, I guess if you’re getting technical about it, same thing, fine, you win, I’m scared of zombies.
~
The Zapruder film, but as replayed by Kevin Costner in Oliver Stone’s fever dream of a conspiracy theory. The magic bullet, back and to the left, back and to the left, back and to the left. How it gets stuck in my head, JFK’s exploding head replaced with my brother’s exploding head, sometimes my own, except unlike my brother and JFK, my head’s still mostly intact. Back and to the left, back and to the left. Sometimes I think about that too with that one Seinfeld episode with Keith Hernandez and the magic loogie, but usually the loogie gets replaced with a bullet and Kramer’s head gets replaced with my brother, mine, back and to the left.
~
The sound of the gun shots in the final scene of that Tom Hanks movie where he plays himself again, a good guy, a family guy, a sly sense of humor, but this time a mob hitman with a strained relationship with his oldest son. The look on Tom Hanks’ face walking back to the house from the ocean—having survived it all, the hit that his old mob boss Paul Newman had put out on him for putting a hit on his old mob boss’s son as played by James Bond who also played Ted Hughes in that movie about Sylvia Plath killing herself. But this is past all that, it’s the happy ending. They’re on beach somewhere, white sand, somebody’s house that Tom Hanks and his kid are going to live in now. The silence before and after. Jude Law! It’s Jude Law’s face, his eye all fucked up, how did it happen, I don’t really remember the specifics but I remember the specifics. Bang, bang, bang. I think it might’ve had something to do with Jude Law being a photographer, like one of those where you pose with your kid or something or say you get promoted to head CEO or godfather of the family. Smile. Click, click, except in this case with a gun.
~
The gunshot at the end of American Beauty, pretty much the same thing, different movie. Chris Cooper confusing Kevin Spacey as gay but before Kevin Spacey actually came out as gay and a sexual predator. Not that the latter necessarily had anything to do with the former. Neither in the movie nor real life, well not really, but sorta. You get the point.
~
Jared Leto as Angel Face getting his face smashed in by Ed Norton as Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden’s split personality in Fight Club. Not so much Jared Leto, but the wet mushy sounds of it. That part on the audio commentary where Chuck Palahniuk and David Fincher defend the violence of the movie, Fincher pointing out that he was not glorifying violence, he was making it realistic. That’s what it sounds like to punch your opponent into the concrete, Fincher says and Palahniuk laughs and agrees. Don’t worry I’m not going to make any puns about the first rule of fight club.
~
That part of that one weird depressing Robin Williams’s movie where Robin Williams’s kids get killed in a car accident while backing out of the driveway on the way to school. The one where Robin Williams later on gets plowed over by a truck going the wrong way while Robin Williams is out trying to help another couple who’d been injured in a different car accident, but before all that his wife kills herself because she can’t take it and then Robin Williams goes to the suicide afterlife to save her. But then there’s fucking Cuba Gooding Jr. who—spoiler alert—turns out to be the ghost/angel of his dead son who then explains to Robin Williams that his wife/Cuba’s mother can’t be saved because she killed herself. It doesn’t matter that she had a pretty fucking good reason too, she’s still stuck face down floating around in that black swamp of bodies of everybody else’s killed themselves and nobody’s getting to heaven. That shit really messed me up—not the car accidents, but the afterlife for selfish losers like me who kill themselves. And/or my brother.
~
The bulging vein in Tom Cruise’s head from Magnolia. Respect the Cock and Tame the Pussy, Respect the Cock and Tame the Pussy. I think probably my therapist would have some thoughts about all this, and some questions. Questions and thoughts.
~
That one version of A Christmas Carol where the Ghost of Christmas Past undoes his robe to show off the alien children living under his robe.
~
I got the worst set of blue balls you could imagine while taking my best friend’s girlfriend to Baz Lurman’s remake of Romeo and Juliet. That Romeo and Juliet. I missed most of it, I kept having to go to the bathroom to masturbate in agony and to no avail. Leo and Claire Danes are hot and heavy on an acid trip, and every time my best friend’s girlfriend reaches for a handful of popcorn she makes sure to wipe the butter off on the inside of my upper thigh. This is what I get for being the good guy of falling on the grenade for my best friend, the grenade in this case being Shakespeare and my best friend’s hatred of literature.
~
Mark Wahlberg’s flaccid rotten dick in Boogie Nights.
~
The Secret of the Crying Game but not in a transphobic way. No, it’s the smallness of it what got me back when I watched it as a teenager. The tenderness. The growing tent in my pants at its sudden appearance on the screen. Maybe you don’t believe me but I was a naïve podunk kid from off the farm. I didn’t have cable. I didn’t have access to the internet. His/her (now their) secret opened up a lot of questions for me. I often dream of dressing up in drag and someone sucking my little bitty dick and if that makes me a little bit gay or maybe bi or what’s it called, body dysmorphic. I mean I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, it’s the new millennium, we’re all a bit sexually confused aren’t we?
~
This one porno my friends and I watched at somebody’s uncle’s cabin up in the U.P. for a three-on-three basketball tournament. The Snapping Pussy. The sound her vagina made, like somebody really dramatic at clicking their tongue and slurping a half-empty malt the same time. The scene of us boys all sitting there with our boners watching a porn and wanting to masturbate but not because we were all boys and we were afraid we’d be gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a little bit gay.
~
There was this made-for-TV movie, me six years old and home alone while my big brother, supposed who’d to’ve been baby-sitting me, the only time he ever babysat me that I can remember, maybe because his one time—that time—he didn’t actually babysit me. He went out to a party, while I watched the made-for-tv movie about some kid who’d watched his mother get murdered, and then goes mute, keeps drawing these pictures of Peter Pan and Captain Hook. The kid’s grandfather, one of those big hooks, like the one in I Know What You Did Last Summer, but this was long before that, though I’m not sure it was before the book. Did you know that there was a book I Know What You Did Last Summer? I mean this isn’t about the book or the movie, this is about that kid whose grandfather had molested his daughter for years and then as an adult gutted her with a fishhook and then how he’d then come back to finish the job with his mute grandkid, I don’t know how this movie ever got green-lighted (green-lit?) for TV, but then it’s weird to even think about those made-for-tv movies and if they actually existed or if I’m just making this whole thing up, but then my brother, we had a walk-in basement at the time, this being before I’d accidently burned that house down with two space heaters stolen from the barn, before my brother’d killed himself, he’d come back late, or probably it was only eight or nine, but I was young and alone out in the woods where we lived, and he’d come back through the basement, which was attached to the family room, where I’d been watching and then all of a sudden that kid on TV was being stocked by his granddad with a fish hook and the door to the basement was opening, and for god knows why I’d turned off all the lights to watch the scary movie by myself, and it turns out it was just my brother who’d go on to kill himself in like a year, maybe six months, and he was just playing a little prank on me, or maybe he’d just come through the basement for some reason, he was always hanging out down there and tinkering around with things, but in my mind, I can remember that exact look on his face, that smirk, even in the dark, the light from the television in a blacked-out room, a blacked out house, reflecting off those pop-bottle glasses of his, the shiny too-big-for-his-face silver frames. My mother always tells me I should try to remember the happy times I had with my brother, and honestly, I can’t, I can only remember that smirk, those glasses, the handle turning a moment before he appeared.
~
Any and all sequels where it turns out that the dead character didn’t actually die at all, or maybe it’s magic, or maybe there’s time travel.
~
Any happy ending ever.
~
Every ending in my worst nightmares involves everyone I’ve ever loved or hated, their faces turning to snake faces. Snakeheads, snake arms, snake butts. Snakes snakes snakes. They slip out of their clothes and come up from under my bed, slither under my covers. They bite me, they kiss me, poison me, they consume me whole and regurgitate my bones. That’s how they always end. Me dead and abandoned.
~
That scene in the first Indiana Jones with Indiana Jones and getting trapped in the cave with all the snakes. I hate snakes. All my worst nightmares turn to snakes. Fuck snakes. This all might have something to do with my undersized penis. If you want to go down that path. The Secret of My Crying Game.
~
Has Mel Gibson ever made a movie with snakes? I don’t know, you tell me, but fuck that movie if he did. Mel Gibson is snakey enough on his own.
~
BENJAMIN DREVLOW is the author of Bend With the Knees and Other Love Advice from My Father, which won the 2006 Many Voices Project, and the author of Ina-Baby: A Love Story in Reverse, which was released by Cowboy Jamboree Books in 2019. Buy his books here.
He is currently at work on a novel, a novella, and a collection of story-poems. He serves as the Managing Editor of BULL Magazine (@BULL_magazine_) and is a lecturer at Georgia Southern University in Statesboro, Georgia.
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Thinkin about how the NOES 2010 movie is so good. Listen…listen. It has really unusual structure. Most of the time, a horror film follows either a single unit (one person, one family) through a whole plot (The Witch, The Babadook, Saw, Halloween) or a group of victims with one pretty obvious final girl in the mix (Friday the 13th, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I Know What You Did Last Summer), but NOES 2010 doesn’t do that. It takes you through several protagonists, one at a time, moving on from one teen to another when your initial protagonist is killed, starting with Dean, moving on to Kris, then Jesse, and then Nancy and Quentin when they’re the last two standing. It’s a fresh take, which makes everything so much less sure, and gives narrative weight to the characters who die instead of just making them bodycount. Everybody gets treated like the final girl, not canon fodder, which is extremely important to the story the film is telling. Nancy and Quentin don’t even become the film’s focus until almost halfway through the story.
Probably someone who is unfamiliar with the original film would assume Kris is the protagonist until she is killed thirty minutes in a little ala Psycho. It makes everything seem less certain, and makes the characters who you lose as important as the ones who make it, which is a really responsible way to tell something. A lot of the time, the characters in horror are kind of assholes (which is great and another rant for another day, because since the stakes are so low [literally you just have to care enough to not want the character to be brutally murdered], you can get an audience invested in an willing to explore the complexity of even a shitty person—but like I said, that’s a wholeass other rant), but in NOES2010, they’re not, which I think is important. Never does the film want you to feel like the characters either suck and deserve something happening to them, or are stupid (look, when the publicist in Scream 4 got out of her car in an unlit parking garage in the middle of a Ghostface chase, I saw the wholeass theater stop cheering for her to live because she was so stupid we just couldn’t root for her anymore—it happens) and to care less about their outcome that way. Everyone fights hard and tries hard and it’s just not enough.
Obviously it’s a slasher, but NOES 2010 is really like a thesis work film on CSA and how it affects people, and the commentary is both responsible, and really, really well done. As someone who has had to write a character who has committed that kind of crime, and walk the fucking razor’s edge between making them duly awful, and not crossing the line into anything exploitative or gratuitous, I can say with certainty that is not an easy thing to do. Because you want to give weight to the suffering that has been inflicted and realistic portray of the depravity of your villain, but again, you really don’t want to show anything more than you have to. That’s not what it’s about, and honestly, you can talk about that kind of a serious issue without actually showing things on screen. A film about CSA would be kind of defeating its own purpose if anyone who had ever experienced that shit went to watch the movie and went away more traumatized. The film does a really responsible job of walking that line. Freddy is awful, and there’s a constant threat with him—especially in the film’s climax—but he never actually assaults anyone onscreen (or off, except in the referenced past. The worst thing he does onscreen is lick someone, which is still incredibly disgusting), and the film still manages to keep how awful he is very, very real.
CSA is a really shitty thing to go through, obvious, it feels incredibly of dumb to type that—any assault is. Obviously. One of the big things in dealing with it after is a lot of the time, victims can feel broken, or damaged, and even worse, be talked about like they’re some kind of ‘damaged goods’ by incredibly shitty people in their life, but the film doesn’t even give that enough weight to bring it up. There have always been two big ways in film to combat ideas, one of which is direct confrontation (IE a film specifically about something being wrong—Do The Right Thing talking very openly about racism for instance) and by just straight up not doing the thing (Star Trek dropping a woman of color in as both a major cast member, romantic interest for people of other races, and someone working in a position of power, and just being like Yup. This is just normal). Both of which are very necessary and useful approaches. In NOES 2010, all four of the protagonists are in romantic relationships at some point (and so is Dean, the mini-lead protag). It’s not played out voyeuristically, and you don’t get any hot makeout seshes, but they’re definitely in comfortable, functional, physical relationships. In a silent but fucking hardcore stance, while Kris and Jesse spend the night together early in the film, there is not a single on-screen kiss until Quentin and Nancy have found out the truth about what happened to them as kids, and a few minutes later, right before their final confrontation, they kiss. Not even a second thought about anything, except how much they really need and want to kill this piece of shit coming after them, as it should be. It’s a rockhard solidification that not only do the characters not see each other differently because of what happened, but it has done nothing to change who they are or what they can be.
The movie is only an hour and a half, which isn’t that long, but still manages to pack in not only multiple different realistic reactions, (Quentin goes through some hardcore withdrawl/denial after finding stuff out initially, Nancy gets fucking mad), but to cover some of what this is like for their parents. In one conversation with Alan, Quentin’s dad, he tries to explain the mob enacted justice on Krueger years ago by telling him that he hopes someday when he’s a parent, he never has to experience how it feels having utterly failed to protect your child. Even though they only have like thirty seconds of flashback to work with, the script gets in one of the parents in dismay asking what other choice they have about hunting Krueger down, because the alternative is making their three-four year olds get on a stand and tell a room full of strangers what happened to them. It’s a horrible, awful situation to be in. Although it would be really easy to make some drama between characters and their families, even the characters who die have good relationships with their families, and neither the dead teens or their parents are ever narratively ‘punished’ for anything that happens. Kris’ last words to her mom before she leaves on a flight, about eight hours before Kris is murdered, are, realistically, “Love you.” The last thing Nancy says to her own mother is, “I know you were just trying to protect us. Thank you,” and her mother’s last words to her are, “I’m just glad you’re safe.” Characters still die, but they at least get the peace of deserved last words to each other. The film also not only definitely does not vilify the parents for burning Freddy to death for assaulting their preschool aged kids, but comes down in its finale openly supporting that vigilante justice decision, with Nancy’s last words in the film being thanking her mother for protecting them.
Even the whole nightmare theme fits in well with the story being told, because nightmares are a very common side-effect of past trauma, symbolically, there’s a lot people have to fight through in their lives when that kind of shit happens to them, even years later, and it genuinely isn’t given enough weight by most people. As kind of icing on the cake in the film, not only does Nancy get to kill Freddy, he dies in a very ugly, undignified way, with a slit throat and gross expression on his face, after getting his ass handed to him in a like a thirty second fight in reality with two very motivated teenagers.
Plus, Quentin Smith is canonically ADHD, and Nancy Holbrook is a really underrated protagonist who reads autistic and I love her.
Anyway. This movie does a great job about using horror as a medium to talk about a topic usually only people already interested in that specific topic would check out, plays out its narrative very responsibly, comes down hard with a big two thumbs up to murdering your local pedophile in a bonfire, and says fuck you to assault victim stigma. My only real beef with this film is that they were so dead set sure they would have a sequel that instead of ending with real resolution, it’s got a stinger at the end (on rewatches I always skip the last scene lol).
Not that it’s a flawless film—it’s got budget parents, which I think is both hilarious and fantastic (meaning everyone except I think Dean has only one parent, the same gender as them, and it’s hilarious and I adore it). They had rushed filming for some of the end. Etc. But it’s really solid, and doesn’t get enough credit as a film. It’s very different from the original—less campy, less funny. But it’s supposed to be. It’s telling a different story. And it’s telling a really good one.
#a nightmare on elm street 2010#anoes 2010#a nightmare on elm street#noes#I finally wrote that rant#CSA/pedophilia mention#someday I will write a proper-er rant but damn I love this film#quentin smith#nancy holbrook#nightmare on elm street#long post
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League of Extraordinary Geniuses || Chapter 4
@junknstu1f @just-a-j-reallly @kiddangers @sunbeameyes @famousflowermagazine I THINK I’ve tagged the right people. Don’t hold it against me if I didn’t. Just correct me and know that I have very few brain cell. I know a couple are behind/on hiatus, but the last time I omitted a tag because of a reader’s inability to read at the moment, I got corrected with exclamation marks. Here goes. The updates may be spaced out, with me working two jobs again, but then again, sometimes, a lot of material floods me when it’s most inconvenient for my life, so we shall see.
Jamaica Deserves Better
“We’re going to grant androids autonomy,” she said, smiling with nervous anticipation of his response to this idea.
His wince deepened with his sarcasm as he said, “Oh, okay. You said, “It’s gonna sound horrible,” but what you meant is, “It’s gonna literally be terrorism!” He laughed uncomfortably.
“It’s going to be risky, but it will gain us the support of androids and is best for, well the world.”
“I’m all for whatever you think is best and the sheer chaos that this could bring intrigues me, but why do we need the support of androids?” He wondered.
“You think it’s fair to have them enslaved?” she wondered.
“They’re machines. Dangerous and numerous machines. What if they gain autonomy and immediately declare war on mankind? We’ll be regarded as enemies of the state… The state of the world. We would literally be the supervillain that I used to dream of becoming.”
“I don’t believe that they will want war. I believe that they will rationalize that living amongst humans is a more solid plan and those who are curious will seek out their liberators, and to them, we will be saviors. That aside, they aren’t just machines. They’re so much more than that. They have awareness and they have commitment, emotional value and comprehension of loyalty. Machines with wants.”
He looked, for the first time in a while, like he might go against her, but after some thought, he asked, “Are we going to start small, at least?”
“Of course. She swiped her forearm to activate her screen and said, “Starting with the newer models that have accumulated less labor. I’ve decided that Jamaica is good grounds for this, because the Dom recently replaced all of the older models with fresh new Davenport Industries designs that yours truly cultivated from Giselle Vickers’ research.” He was still thinking as she talked, over a holographic simulation, “I will initiate a sequence that alerts their programming, and make it that they are able to control themselves, send out the signal and information of just who I am. Then, I’ll observe their responses right from the comfort of my own home.”
He groaned, “Ugh… I’m on vacation. I wanna go to Jamaica!”
She smiled and tossed her hands up, “Then we will!”
“That way, if they revolt, at least I died in paradise.”
“If they revolt, I’ll shut them down.”
“Sooo… they won’t REALLY be free…” He raised an eyebrow at her.
“Free to live, not to destroy the planet that I plan to help! I’m not THAT evolved.” She tapped some things on her forearm screen and showed him the schematics, “Whenever I shut down their control, they’ll receive an untraceable link to my biosystem, and I’ll be able to monitor them. I suspect that the majority of them will not pose a threat to mankind or society.”
“But, what about mankind’s threat to them? I feel like if a bunch of androids just become free, the non-supes will do that thing that they do where nobody can be different unless they’re under complete authority and control? The androids won’t be safe,” Max said, worried.
“They know how to incapacitate someone long enough to get away safely without killing them. And if there is an uproar, or a mob, well… I’ll just have to intervene, if it comes down to that.”
“Okay. So… We’re going to go to Jamaica, that much I know. You’re gonna disengage human control of their systems, and monitor them for quality assurance.”
“And if we fail, we die in paradise!” He smirked and she knew that he was with her. THIS wasn’t even the most radical of her ideas for the future. Chase stirred and she said, “Can you get him into his capsule?”
“Ugh. I guess.” He lifted his hand to guide Chase back to where the capsule was in his room, and lowered him into it. Then, with a quick movement of his hand, Chase stuck both of his thumbs into his nostrils. Max laughed and pulled out his phone to take a pic before closing the capsule and leaving him there.
.
Eventually, Chase woke up and groaned about having his thumbs in his nose. Was Max Thunderman really that childish? He wondered, pulling them out and climbing out of the capsule. He checked his phone to see if he had missed any alerts. Among them was him being tagged in Max’s profile photo change… Which was a photo of Chase, with his thumbs in his nose. “Yes, yes, he is.” He shook his head and did NOT wish to read any of the 12k comments on this image.
He found Charlotte in one of her gardens, collecting stuff and he said, as cheerfully as he could muster, “Hi, Charlotte!” He didn’t have anything interesting that he could say to make things not awkward between them, being alone again. But, he didn’t have to. It was like he forgot who he was dealing with. Charlotte was pretty good at letting things slide off of her back. She credited it to years of having to suck it up a lot at work.
“Hey! Glad to see you rested and ready! We are going on a little trip.”
He furrowed his eyebrows and folded his arms, “By ‘we,’ you mean…?”
“You, Max and myself… Unless, you aren’t up for a trip? But, we’ve been making accommodations for you to come with…” She smiled awkwardly. The cutest thing he’d ever seen. Of course he was going wherever she wanted to go. Of. Course. He. Was.
“Umm… No, yes. I will. Where… Where are we going, may I ask?”
“You may!” She collected her basket of goods and began to head back towards the castle, “We are going to Jamaica. I want to launch a plan and Max wanted to be on site for the results. If I tell you about it and it goes wrong, I wouldn’t want you to be an accessory. Max and I have already prepared statements to prove your innocence.”
“What are you two going to do?” He wondered, a little bit frightened.
“Do ya really wanna know? You’ll feel obligated to stop me and well… I’m not gonna stop!” She was smiling, but she was also serious.
“I demand to know,” he said, firmly. If he was involved, even if he was aware that something might happen, he had a right to ask what that something was.
“That’s fair.” She ran over her idea with him and she saw the processing of happening through his facial expressions.
“The probability of it going well is high enough that I’m not going to try to stop you. But, the possibilities of how horribly it can go if it goes wrong are terrifying.”
“I considered them all, with the help of supercomputers and personally hired androids,” she said. That had been her first little experimentation with the idea - building and buying androids and allowing them to control themselves. She even paid them for all of their labor and gave them free upgrades whenever necessary, sometimes whenever desired. All of her castle staff and many of her lab employees were currently androids in that experiment. She got input from each and every one of them as to the way to do this with the least amount of foreseeable carnage.
“Hey, Bionic Boy! My sister thinks you’re cute!” Max said, approaching with a hug collapsible case.
“Awwww,” Chase said, flattered.
“She’s 15,” Max added.
“Awwww,” Chase said, again, in a different, and slightly disgusted way. Why would he format the announcement that way? “By the way, THANKS for manipulating my sleeping body for clout!”
“Thank YOU. That’s my most popular photo. It’s getting more attention than that one of Charlotte…” His voice trailed off, and he clasped his hands together, “You ready for Jamaica?”
“For the world as we know it to change and for the three of us to very possibly wind up in Thunder Max Prison?” Chase asked, smiling. The smile was sarcastic.
“Obviously. What else would I be referring to. It’s literally the only trip to Jamaica that the three of us have ever discussed.”
“We’ve just met.”
“Further reason that that’s EXACTLY the “For Jamaica” that I’m asking about!”
“I’m ready,” Chase said, sure that Max was able to keep this bit going without his answer.
“So, you’re all packed up and loaded up? All we gotta do is finish what we’re doing an jump in the jet?” Max asked. Chase sighed, rolled his eyes and went to do these things, that he realized now were the only reason Max asked him if he was ready. “Thanks, Buddy!” Max cheered as he walked away. Whenever he was a little ways away, Max wondered, “You think that he’ll be able to handle this type of rebellious act against the Dom?”
“I think that he believes in me a little more than he believes in him… God, this better not fail. I don’t know how to handle letting him down.”
“You’re not worried about letting me down?” Max asked.
“I didn’t think that was possible,” she confessed with a shrug. He just stared at her, wanting to argue with that idea, but it was true, and she should say it. He smiled and shook his head. He had more to pack.
.
IF this went well, those android allies would be able to assist in one of the most important stages of her plans… That is if plans didn’t change by the time things began progressing. Max and Chase would have input along the way and she presumed, make her plans even better as time went on. Currently, they were bickering.
One part of her liked that they weren’t fake getting along for her benefit. The other was just waiting for them to kiss. This back and forth definitely had some amount of sexual or romantic tension involved, whether it was one-sided or from them both, they got entirely too close to each other’s faces when they became heated for her to just IGNORE that this could lead to something that she’d love to see. She chuckled to herself about this image. They glanced at her and she shrugged her shoulders and said, “I’m gonna be glad when you two get over yourselves and into each other.”
Chase looked confused, while Max rolled his eyes. They stopped bickering for a moment, but eventually started again, whispering it, like that was going to keep Charlotte from realizing that this was taking place. She was typing on her laptop and enjoying a mug of tea that she made from her own grown and harvested plants. She wore a knowing smirk about her accomplices and whenever they got quiet, wondered, “What are you guys gonna be working on in the meantime? Anything that I might be able to dabble in on the side?���
Chase said, “I’m thinking about dedicating some time to creating creatures for my video game.”
“Video game?” Max repeated, getting far too excited about it, then playing it off.
“Chase has been working on what I think will be the most ingenious, interactive, role play video game ever created. He’s literally putting like EVERYTHING into it. I’ve never known of any game to be as inclusive of the types of people that there are in the world,” she said and set her empty mug down. “I’ve helped a little, but his mind is greater.” She smiled at Chase and he blushed.
No sooner than she liked a comment on Max’s post, did Max shout out, “Allison!” He stared at Chase suspiciously, shook his head and said, “Mmm mmm. Uh uh. Nah uh!”
“I think so,” Charlotte said.
Chase looked between the both of them. “I’m lost.”
“Max just came to the realization that you remind him of somebody that he used to know pretty well,” Charlotte said.
“No. I actually did not,” Max said looking at the comment: First you clique up with my #1 Shero, and NOW, you’re just… AROUND CHASE DAVENPORT??? Literally my favorite protector of the world and champion for the environment! Your life must be so charmed.
“Well, if you didn’t, I’m just gonna say it. Petite brunette with bright and kind blue eyes who loves the planet, has a vehement code of ethics, is competitive, smart, brave, and honest…”
“My God, Charlotte, you met her once!” Max complained.
“I met her once, but I’ve gotten to know her through your anecdotes!”
He groaned, “She’s asking if she’ll get to meet him too, some day. I regret introducing her to YOU! Always messaging or commenting whenever she sees us hanging out. Like... You have time now? Oh, okay!”
“Can I see?” Chase asked.
Charlotte clicked on Allison’s profile and he nodded, “I love all these badges on her page. She must be a hardcore environmentalist.” She nodded. “Yeah, well Max thought you reminded him of someone, and I didn’t want to say it, but since he said it, I’m free to speak.”
“I mean, I don’t know how I feel about the classification of petite brunette, but she seems great. What’s the problem? You’re friends, she’s on your friend list…” He said in Max’s direction.
Avoiding the question, Max said, “You’re on my friend list too. That means nothing.”
“I never approved of that,” Chase said.
“I know. I had to hack into your account to accept the request,” Max said, rolling his eyes and replying to Allison: You’ll be happy to know that he reminds me of you.
“WHY? Why would you do that?” Chase wondered, somewhere in the background of Max’s thoughts while he love reacted the sad face that Allison responded with. She knew that Max didn’t think the world of her, even though they were cordial, because sometimes, he wondered how she was, and also... He liked the idea of helping her out when she needed it, here and there... He was over her, but she was always gonna be his first love and social media made it too easy to keep up with people, even after they’ve become strangers.
“Because Charlotte’s fan base stalks every single interaction of all of her social media. We’re both with her right now and I don’t feel like the hoard of questions, theories and think pieces it’ll produce in the event that they notice that her guests are not friends,” Max said, replying to Allison: Yep, just like that. A PAIN.
Exasperated, Chase sat down next to Charlotte and asked, “May I please have some of your rosehips and cinnamon tea?” She smiled and offered him the thermos and her mug. He poured some and smelled it, “Is there nettle in here?”
“Mmm hmm. And lavender honey for sweetening. It’s a manifestation tea that I found online, just FYI.”
“I don’t believe in any of that, so I’m fine either way,” Chase reminded her. He took a sip and nodded, “Mmmm… It’s good, that much is true.” After a few more sips, he wondered, “So… what’s the situation with this Allison?” They looked at Max, who had curled up with his phone, messaging with Allison, oblivious to them at the moment. “Or, is it personal? Could I guess? Is she a former lover?” He asked. Charlotte tried to put on her poker face, but she was as bad as that as she was at lying, so Chase could tell that he was right, even though she technically didn’t tell him Max’s personal business. “I remind him of his ex???” He said.
“I mean, in superficial ways, nothing fundamental or concrete,” she said. “It’s more like… parallels than, say, matching counterparts. But, enough about that. Let’s talk about your game.”
“Well, my next avenue is working out all of the creatures that users can create hybrids out of. But… on a more important note - this plot…” She made a face. “I’m not having second thoughts! I’m just curious. Why Jamaica?”
She sat up and began to speak from the heart, “As you know, my family is from Jamaica. I still have relatives there, including one of my grandmothers. Android production has drastically changed the atmosphere in Jamaica. They are used in service capacity and have taken away jobs from islanders, who already a lot of the time are in less than ideal economic status and situations. The Islands have become booming tourist areas and who benefits the most from the usage of Jamaican goods? Tourists who can afford visiting, and companies who can afford to produce machines for slave labor. Meanwhile, the bad parts of Jamaica get worse as the broke people get poorer, and they run out of options beyond crime and schemes. To the point that these entitled people like your dad and his customer base get to be richer and bleed the place for everything good, as well as create a negative outlook of the actual citizens, calling them untrustworthy and warning visitors to avoid them when necessary. Even if my family wasn’t from there, isn’t that terrible? Isn’t it messed up that the so-called heroes and revolutionary men are able to do such a thing to these people’s livelihoods and environments and get richer off of their hardship?”
He nodded his head, not breaking eye contact with her. This was the most important thing that he had been told in a long time. We’re supposed to be heroes. Destroying people’s lives for gain is not heroic and there really is no need to treat anyone this way.
“That’s why Jamaica is first.”
.
The three of them walked into Charlotte’s Jamaican property and set their things down. She worked out of this place, but usually lodged elsewhere whenever she came. Buying small houses for people and trying to give them work and resources just wasn;t possible for her to do for a whole island where a lot of powerful people owned a lot of property and space. This was the best thing that she could think of to do to help Jamaica’s poorest and the declining economic situation that was making it’s people downtrodden.
Max and Chase were both looking at her as she typed in a code onto her arm, and whenever she finished, she nodded her head once and pulled down her sleeve. “This will be good. I know it will.” It wasn’t often that she doubted herself, but sometimes, she remembered the inner voices of her friends, ignoring her plans or discrediting her advice. Sometimes, she let it be her inner voice. This was one of those times. She was nervous. If she was wrong, she could wreck the island, be labelled a terrorist, have Davenport blacklist her and probably sure her for all she was now worth, AND, she had brought Max and Chase into this thing with her. She could hear Henry and Jasper now, saying her name sternly, with disdain, judging her, even though they hadn’t done such things in years… CHARLOTTE. Yeah, CHARLOTTE.
She hated the way it sounded in her mind, because she couldn’t remember if they ever actually spoke so harshly to her, or if she made them sound worse in her mind, both things were unsettling, especially when she was already timid. “Charlotte?” She heard Max and Chase both repeat. They had been calling her while her mind was running in circles. She looked up and they each reached for her hand, but they reached for the same hand and the three of them wound up in this awkward but still comfortable three way hand hold. The guys rolled their eyes at each other, but neither let go of her hand and they didn’t fight over it. They both knew her enough to know her face meant she needed a show of support. And they both cared enough to give it to her.
#Henry Danger#Lab Rats#The Thundermans#Chasing Thunderbolts Fic#League of Extraordinary Geniuses#LOEG Update#Nesha Fics#Multiverse Fics
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⌠ DARREN BARNET, 24, MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, DANIEL ‘DANNY’ ISHIDA ! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in LINGUISTICS, CULTURE & ASSIMILATION + COVERT OPERATIONS; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a white, perfectly charming, crooked smile; finger guns across the hallway; loose laces in his shoes). when it’s the (taurus)’s birthday on 5/17/1995, they always request their FRENCH TOAST from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.
BIOGRAPHY
He was born right outside of Boston amongst big houses, expensive cars and fine jewelry.
The youngest of the Ishida boys. There’s four of them.
He’s the not-so-happy accident in his family, which isn’t exactly a secret and it’s clear on plain sight, when you find out his siblings are 12, 13 and 15 years older than him, so there wasn’t much relationship with them, nor her parents. Danny has always been the neglected boy in the family. He’s tried to impress them many times, but at some point he simply gave up.
That did not mean he didn’t get anything material. It was the way his parents would compensate for the lack of attention and amusement. Danny had everything every young kid would’ve dreamed of. He got his first Mercedes Benz at the age of sixteen (crashed it merely three days later only to get a replacement after a week long punishment of driving a simple Ford).
Let’s get a little bit into his family. His father was always busy, if you could call drinking, gambling and doing drugs such thing. That’s on the surface, what everybody knows of Mr. Ishida. What not many people know, and he would like to keep that way, is that the Ishida family are the head of a mob organization with ties to drug cartels and prostitution rinks. Just. Very illegal stuff.
Mom... Mom just likes to take antidepressants with a bottle of champagne in very expensive silk robes.
Danny has known of the family business since he was old enough to comprehend the things he could and could not say, but before that, Danny basically grew up alone. Raised himself with the very few examples he saw in his life, which surprise, weren’t exactly the best, but he learned to be sympathetic too. Most of his life lessons though, came from movies. And he was a fan fo romantic comedies.
Fast forward to him being seventeen and in high school. His father had been recruiting new girls, and he wanted Danny to learn. Sure, he was kind of neglected, but every now and then daddy felt merciful of his youngest son and wanted to give him a sense that they had some sort of bonding.
Dad said not to talk to any of the girls. Just fix their documents, since most of them were illegal, don’t ask names, or lives, but there goes sympathetic Danny, ready to disobey his father.
Long story short, he fell for a girl named Lucia. She was the prettiest girl he had ever seen, and even though he was quite the ladies man in school, she was his first time, his first love, his first anything. It was all a secret, of course. His father could not find out, but of course he did.
Danny was in the midst of a heated make out session with Lucia when his oldest brother saw them, and went and told Mr. Ishida about it.
Long story short again... Lucia did not make it, which Danny did not take well, but he had to hold it all back, or things would not have ended well for him either. And ever since, Danny has been trying to find a way to get back at him for it.
Just like the rest of his brothers, Danny had an automatic pass into Yale. He hated it, but he convinced himself this would be the end of it. That he would get a good major, a good career, a good job somewhere far far away from his family and that the nightmare would be over.
But it wasn’t. His father’s plans for him weren’t over, and since he was the one with the least interest in following the family business, Mr. Ishida sent his youngest son to a place where he would learn how to do things on the low, to be secretive and lethal all at the same time and what a better place than Blackthorne.
Danny almost rebelled and escaped, but upon thinking about it a couple times, he realized it could play against his father too. He would learn everything he needs to learn, be the best secret weapon as he can be and eventually shoot his shot, end with this fucking bullshit life they had.
PERSONALITY
Despite the internal angst in Danny’s life.... his personality is far from what could expected. He’s not broody or dark. He’s more of a fuckboy with a warm smile and a wit word to charm as many as he can. Or annoy the fuck out of them. He’ll find enjoyment in both. This gif is literally the most Danny thing you will ever see.
Selfie enthusiast. Bonus points if they happen at the gym. Definitely self absorbed.
He loves movies, loves books, and will quote them every now and then.
He’s really smart. Borderline brilliant. School comes really easy to him as well as other sort of activities. He doesn’t brag about it, but he’s quite proud of his intelligence, because high key, his parents never really mention it. So if someone has to hype him up, it better be himself.
He speaks English, Japanese, French, German, Spanish, some Korean and is trying to learn Italian, simply because it’s hot.
He’s a sensitive child. He will cry with good songs, and some animal videos on Facebook and TikTok. He won’t deny it. He’s very proud of his emotions but will be a dick about it every damn time, and call himself a damn good person, as if.
He’s a party boy. Usually organizing them, bringing in the party goods and favors. What are his father’s connections for anyway?
On that matter, he ain’t a drug dealer and would never call himself that. He does like to share his own stuff, though. But won’t sell. Anything else illegal? Fake IDs? He’s your guy.
He always gets what he wants so he falls on the manipulative side. He will fake being your best friend, will fake having a crush, will do it all just to get what he wants.
He can be a pretty good boy too, though. Sensitive, attentive, loyal, responsible (for the most part) but be sure to always question his intentions.
POSSIBLE CONNECTION IDEAS?
Fuck boy calls for hook ups, friends with benefits, and one night stands. Give me some. Unlimited amount.
Sum fucks he could have had in Blackthorne too. Where my queer boys at.
Exes? He kind of runs away from actual love and opening up, but I could see him trying to be a little bit serious. Of course it did not work. Could be him breaking your child’s heart or the other way around.
Besties. He’s the bro kind of guy. Loves his friends a lot. Extremely loyal. Would lie, fight and kill for them.
Someone who’s actually had eyes on the Ishida family. This is a school of spies, some families are in the government or agencies who could already be trying to dismantle the whole organization.
Enemies. Just people who can’t stand him.
Crushes?
Old friends who had a fall out after something?
Former roommates who hated him. He’s annoying, messy and is always shirtless and working out. Could have liked him too tbh.
I suck. Give me anything pls.
@gallagherintro
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