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ef-1 · 6 months

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Transcribed Excerpts from Christian Horner's hour long Interview that are batshit insane and so narratively dense you'd think they're lifted wholesale from a book, featuring:

The most in depth, behind the scenes view of what transpired in 2018

Fords CEO getting in touch with Dax to gush about how much he likes Daniel

Christian feeling vindictive towards Daniel

Christian comparing Sebastian and Max

Christian comparing Daniel to Roger Federer

How Christian had to mitigate Helmut's shitshow and personally asking Dietrich to give Daniel everything he wanted

Hilarious rapid fire in the end and his perspective on the failure of Ferrari

●●● <- indicates a time skip

Dax: In tennis you see guys when they lose steam, they break apart.

Christian Horner : you see that with checo.

●●●

[Dax mentions that in Christian's position, a lot of people would not have invited Daniel back into the family. "Because Daniel turned his back on the family." ]

Christian: Daniel's a great guy. Very badly advised in his early career. Everybody fucks up at some point. I think he recognizes that he made a mistake. He didn't have good advice around him at the point he left us. Having spent time outside the family he realized what he had here was actually good. It was horrible to see that it got worse and worse after us. It was actually this time last year in Mexico where I sat down with him in my hotel room, I told him you need a complete reset- take a year out. Come back to us.

Dax: He's such a win for you guys.

Christian: Totally.

Dax: you sent Daniel to Jim Farley [ CEO of Ford] and I know Jim Farley and he got in touch with me and told me "That Daniel Ricciardo guy is the greatest!" I'm like to him: he's the dream, send him anywhere.

●●●

Christian: He's [Daniel] a confidence driver, when he's got his mojo, he one of the fastest guys on the grid.

Dax: he's lethal.

Christian: yep.

Dax: he's got that magic thing that people either have or don't have in my opinion which is: there are winners and there are not winners

[you're not ready for this lol]

Christian: He came to us, he's one of our juniors, I remember going to watch him in formula 3, he really stood out. Very smooth. Just great. Naturally. Like a Roger Federer kind of style behind the wheel, very very classic. Light touch. Great, great skill. And then he came through the system [RB program] when we had Sebastian Vettel, 4 time world champion- Mark Webber retired. We chose Daniel as the Junior, with no expectation on him and he started beating Vettels ass. he won 3 races in 2014 when we had FAR from the best engine, Sebastian never won a race that year.

Dax: Even his time at Mclaren, it sucked for him but he's the only one who won a race.

Christian: He IS the only one who won a race.

Dax: and for a long time now.

Christian: and Renault he had great performances. [...] he's got to feel the love. He's got to feel comfortable in the environment that he's in. Some of his races for us were- absolutely outstanding.

●●●

[Christian about the 2018 negotiations]

Christian: I asked Dietrich to show Daniel love. Helmut was obviously pro Max, I said if you could just balance things out, let him [Daniel] know you want him. Dietrich said "no problem, I'll talk to him" so he took Daniel upstairs after the race in Austria to talk to him, and they were there for well over an hour.

Dax: To the point you were nervous?

Christian: I thought SHIT! But they reappear, and they're both smiling, I tell him: "Dietrich, how did it go?" He says,"No problem, don't worry about it. It's not even a question [that daniel would leave]"

Christian: Then we went to Germany, and his engine blew up. His engine kept letting him down, letting him down, letting him down. But from there, we went to Hungary, and we got his paperwork [Daniel's contract] for a TWO year deal all sorted out. Daniel's manager came to me and said 'listen Daniel is nervous about the engine' because we were going to switch to Honda so his manager said: 'he'll do ONE year' I thought wow. That's not really what we talked about, because in 6 months we'll be having the same conversation. So I remember I went back to Dietrich, and I said, "it's about relationships. It's NOT about contracts. If he wants a one year contract, give him a one year contract," so at this point: he's got everything he wants. Also, at that point, Daniel was doing a test for us after the Hungarian race, I thought Daniel will sign the paperwork on Monday, suddenly Monday goes and he's in the car on Tuesday. I'm starting to smell something because this is an enormous deal, you'd have thought he'd be in a rush to sign this contract. And he didn't sign the contract before he got in the car in the morning and I thought he'd sign by lunchtime but it didn't happen. He had to get out of the car and go straight to the airport because he's flying from here to LA and I thought he'll call me. I'm feeling something at this point.

Dax: you know you're about to be broken up with.

Christian: yeah.

Dax: if your girlfriend didn't show up to lunch then dinner-

Christian: exactly. So- he [daniel] rings me, I was in the car with Geri, he tells me "I just got off the plane, I arrived in LA, and I've been thinking on the flight, all the way here- I'm not going to sign the contract. I'm going to take another contract. [...] he tells me Renault? The engine that let him down for 2 years? I was convinced, I was CONVINCED- because Daniel has got a sense of humour- I thought- he's taking the piss. I thought come on. I told him: come on. There is no way. You're not going to Renault, stop fucking about, just sign the contract. After 10 minutes he finally persuaded me that he was going to Renault. It was disappointing.

Dax: I wanna applaude you, because a lot of people who go through that experience think: fuck you.

Christian: there was an element of that. I thought: go and suck on a lemon for a bit. But actually during the pandemic, I remember he called me and said "Christian I hate to say this to you but you were right"

•••

Christian thinks Max > Vettel

Christian about Alex and Pierre being teammates with Max: he broke them

[Very confused in this part because Christian like? Says the best thing for Checo to perform is to forget about Max, stop trying to compete with him, stop looking at his data? Girl you are NOT selling it rn]

•••

When Christian is asked to analyse Red Bull's champions, he thinks Sebastian and Max are diametrically opposed . Sebastian is your stereotypical German, he would be at the track until 11 to analyse data. Max is not interested in all the detail [devasting news for all the bitches who spent years trying to dunk on Daniel by calling him not technical, Christian seems to think that Daniel and Max share a natural ability that doesn't rely on data.] He [Max] Gives you just what he needs to go faster. Max hates testing, has no interest in it.

●●●

Christian confirms he has a lucky toilet.

●●●

Christian says in 2014-18 Red Bull came this 🤏 close to selling to Audi.

●●●

Christian: Drive to Survive is the Kardashians on wheel

●●●

Christian: You get characters like Gunther Steiner. How scary is he. He used to work for us, I had to be the one to fire him.

●●●

Christian on why he believes Ferrari have failed over the last 15 years: Ferrari is a national institution instead of a Team. It needs to become a racing team again. Too many people have input at the top.

#it like. reads like fanfic #this team is so fucked up none of this can be healthy #what makes him tick #its all very insane. Machiavellian!Christian... be very afraid.#i wish Christian didnt speak about seb like that. just be more respectful. he clearly has his favourites #f1 #daniel ricciardo #Christian horner #brazilian gp 2023

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yeehawpim · 8 months

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a comic about fix-it fanfics

#original comic #fanfic #fix it fic #fandom #dr who #bbc sherlock #avengers #my comic #my art #been thinking about the truly dumb amount of time I've spent reading fanfic #i started writing fix-it fic like a couple months ago and I Get It #teenage pim was a dumbass

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iknowitwontwork · 11 months

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#i'm bored #anyway i started mine at this site called harrypotterfanfic.net smth smth #i discovered it while i was reading the 5th book i believe #and i searched james and lily potter smth smth and i stumbled upon a fanfic #and i was like 'holy shit this is so omg—'#truly the best thing to happen to me frfr #polls

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you-were-meteowrong · 18 days

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reblog for bigger sample size

#i dont understand bookmarking everything to keep track of progress #like...#i just subscribe and read it IMMEDIATELY when i get an update email #i bookmark fics i'd personally recommend #i like looking at what my readers bookmarked #or what a fave writer bookmarked #gives me more stuff to read!#my thoughts #text #polls #my polls #ao3 #ao3 writer #fanfic #fic #writing

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umblrspectrum · 14 days

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i love learning cursive just to write text for exactly one character

#fun umbral lore. i can barely read cursive #if you want to hide anything from me then write it in cursive and i will literally never be able to read it #or write it. i had to google cursive text generator and copy it for this #ill settle on textbox designs also eventually #god its been so long since i've drawn the manor gang i think #saw this post and i immediately thought “cyn”#it has nothing to do with her being my number 1 blorbo. bite me #murder drones #art #murder drones n #murder drones v #murder drones j #murder drones cyn #serial designation n #serial designation j #serial designation v #they're so gay also they blushed immediately after this and made out probably im still torn between like 5 different ships #curse you fanfics for putting these ideas in my head

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morally-earl-grey · 10 months

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#SHES BACK UP #THANK YOU AO3 VOLUNTEERS #I LOVE YOU #badge of honor #we did it boys #ao3 #archive of our own #never scare me like that again #I’m gonna go read my Wolfstar heavy angst #sleeping was so hard last night #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 ddos

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tedkaczynskiofficial · 6 months

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I love Zutara as much as the next girlie, but I think people romanticizing Zuko catching Azula's lightning in the Final Agni Kai are doing Zuko's character a massive disservice. He would have done that for anyone. Not just anyone in the Gaang, anyone.

He did it for the division he ended up getting burned over. He did it for his subordinate that was going to fall to his death after the ship was struck by lightning. He did it for Lee, when he was kidnapped by Gao. He did it for Iroh, when he confronted his dad and tried to break him out of prison. He did it for the whole Gaang at the Western Air Temple. He did it for Sokka, Suki, and Hakoda at the Boiling Rock.

His whole character revolves around saving everyone else first. Hell, he tried to save Zhao of all people! There's no way that would have gone well for Zuko if Zhao had actually taken his hand. He always does what he thinks is right first before considering his own safety.

Zuko always saves other people. Even if, especially if, he can't save himself.

#look i love zutara #but zuko has no conception of personal safety #there are better zutara moments in atla!!!!#like i will absolutely still read fanfic that romanticizes that scene #but it still would have happened if literally anyone else had been standing there #zutara #zutara criticism #i'm going to tag this as #anti zutara #just in case someone doesn't want to see a critique of the ship #i'm not really critiquing the ship #but out of an abundance of caution #uh actual antis if you see this: behave yourselves lol #zuko #avatar the last airbender #atla

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pachimation · 11 months

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the past vs the present vs hat guy

#genshin impact #chiscara #scarachilde #childe #tartaglia #wanderer #scaramouche #i’m so happy they finally gave wanderer an official name with hat guy #whoopsie sorry for disappearing for a hot second i got really into another piece of media from like 2016 #spent like a week just reading through all the fanfics in the ao3 tag :’3 #my art

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magic-owl · 1 year

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I don’t believe in gatekeeping at all but if you flat out admit to me that you’ve consumed little to ZERO of the canon media and have gotten all of your information based off of reading fluffy fic with woobified characters, I will not be taking ANY of your fandom opinions or meta seriously

#i will clarify: you’re more than allowed to have fun! write all the fic you want and play in the sandbox!#but do NOT ever act like you know what you’re talking about lol #‘canon is Wrong and i’ve only read fanfic so that makes me an expert on these characters uwu’#STOP IT NO #one of my friends thought i shouldn’t kick the beehive #but i’m ready #owl blabs

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magicaltimelady44 · 6 months

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so like. if anyone else, like me, still has the occasional fanfic they follow on fanfiction.net, and hasn't been getting the update emails for the longest time and was wondering if ti meant the site is on its last legs

no

no they've done something stupid as fuck

you have to opt back in to getting the emails/notifications of new chapters every six months, because they automatically assume you don't want to know when the fics you followed for the updates have updated

#for fucks saaaaaaake #now i have to go back thorugh all the fics i follow to see if they've updated in the last like year #ffn why are you doing this #this is the shit that drives ppl to ao3 #and for the record i don't like ao3 purely because somehow ffn still has the better accessible reading options on its base site #without requiring you to log in and find [or code your own] site skin. it's just on the base site.#dark/light mode and increasing text size on a fanfic archive should not be a logged-in members-only coding-required thing

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verynonyideas · 10 months

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#I was actually about to update one of my fanfics when a Destiel Meme notified me of the outage. 🙃#archive of our own #ao3 #ao3 outage #fanfiction problems #fanfiction writer problems #fanfiction reader problems #this mostly calls myself out #if I didn’t post then I was gunna read…now I gotta go to bed like a responsible adult #and yes…I spent way too much time on this instead of just going to bed #okay I spent an hour on it but still #supernatural memes giving me the news again #destiel news #news via Destiel meme

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obsob · 10 months

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happy and proud!!

✷(print shop)✷

#mine #original #sm how managed 2 miss pride month....but its pride month every month in this house hold #ive read two bad YA books so far this month as a break from th 2nd farseer book but now.....i am back.........i am reading th 3rd one #its gna make my brain explode i can feel it #n then idk what i will read. maybe th hands of th emperor #could i read smth other than 800 page epic fantasy pls #the YA books werent too bad for YA but they hve that YA cringe 2 it. idk how u people read it constantly #if i hve 2 read th word 'heck' one more time #also theres always like. disney channel vibes. like i read gay YA romance n its so sanitised n vanilla. its so superficial #like i get this is for 16 year olds but were is the longing. the yearing. these guys are fanfic tropes stuck 2gether 2 glue.#also. what is with nearly every mlm romance / fantasy being YA not adult fiction. whats up w that #anyway hve a good evenin im gna do knitting!!!!!!!!!!!!

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qweenofurheart · 10 months

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a couple of people told me the comic i made reminded them of A Meditation on Railroading by eggmacmuffin, so i had to draw a scene from it

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prahacat · 3 months

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when the horrors catch up and you take an evening off to batch-process

#obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #maybe obi-wan just read the outline for the next wip #why do i love to torture him so #one of my fav fanfic genres has to be meta fic horror #just imagine. how deeply disturbing it must be to find out you're a fictional character #somebody has *intentionally* written all those horrors onto you #and it wasn't even the guy who created you #he did his part. but the ppl who love it most to ruin your life and see you suffer are your fans #it's not enough that there's prob a lot of jedi rpf around in the gffa already. scarred obi-wan for life #lmao drawing anakin like this gave me so many flashbacks to my old ocs where almost every male character had that hair #also i have a job interview in one hour dsdsfhjgj #my art #prahacat draws

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celestiaxoxo · 3 months

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FREE MY GIRL SHA HUALING SHE DID NOTHING WRONG!! ( those murder charges are just part of her personality smh )

[Image ID: A collection of official Scum Villain art.

1. Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu speaking conspiratorially + "*grabs your hand* no...

WE'RE back on our bullshit"

2. Shang Qinghua looking teary +

3. "How To Validate A Child's Work Without Swearing and Saying "Lil Dude That's Fuckin

Sick'" hungwy

4. Shen Qingqiu putting the guanyin pendant around a crying Luo Binghe's throat + "ok first of all i didnt "miss" the red flags i looked them and thought yeah thats sexy"

5. Tianlang-jun smirking inside his coffin + "they hate me for being a slut tbh and maybe also the killings too but that's unlikely"

6. Zhuzhi-lang looking nervous + "'isn't he so cute?" *picture of the wettest moo pathetic looking guy you've ever seen*"

7. Sha Hualing yanking on Liu Mingyan's veil +

"They hate me for my girlish whimsy and the cannibalism" . End ID]

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thebibliosphere · 14 days

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Being in the Pennyworth fandom will have you googling shit like "How to fortify an umbrella against acid rain" to try and give a smidge of credibility to the storyline you're plotting.

Meanwhile, the official writers are just giving interviews like, "Yeah, the mad cultists who got turned into super weapons by a drug activated by a popular song sung by Alfred Pennyworth's pop star girlfriend survived the nuclear bomb that got dropped on London, so now there are these irradiated mutant cultists cannibals roaming the streets of London who go ballistic for 70s pop ballads. What do you mean, 'how did we plan to resolve that?'"

#pennyworth the tv show #I need this hyperfixation to die #but there's so little content for this part of the extended Batman fandom #and my brain is just like 'if we can't scratch this insane itch with reading fanfic we will simply create it'#and I am going mad

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