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ghost-inacup · 2 years

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So, how does amatonormativity fuck a person up? (i made the aro survey)

omg okay so hi bestie sit down have some tea cause i might go on an endless rant here:

okay, so lets begin by defining amatonormativity: it is the societal expectation of everyone wanting an exclusive, long term romantic relationship and would be better off with it. some common assumptions made due to this are :

Assuming that everyone wants to get married, and unmarried/unpartnered people are unhappy or lonely

Treating romantic relationships as more important than friendships

The structuring of society around married couples (housing, taxes, etc.)

“Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?” (sourced from: https://sophia.smith.edu/aace/about-asexuality-and-aromanticism/allonormativity-and-amatonormativity/)

Now, while this affects many queer identities, i can only provide an aro perspective on it.

Growing up, all around me, from as young as kindergarten, romantic relationships were prioritised. even 3 year olds who didn't even grasp the concept of romance were like, oh they're dating now, oh they're married now, etc. throughout my life, the expectation that everyone will eventually pursue a romantic relationship was a constant.

And that fucks you up.

Lets start with the fact that it forced me into thinking it would be my end all goal. i would meet a guy, have a romantic relationship, marry him, have kids, the whole package. And that led to quite a few situations where i forced myself to act like i felt romantic attraction, to convince myself to do things i was not ready for. It led to heartache and probably contributed to my depression. It led to destruction of friendships and led to an unhealthy relationship, which i will say is still affecting me. half a decade later and i still berate myself over those things, it has affected my self perception a lot.

then, when i discovered i was aro,(and its still going on tbh) it made me think i was not normal. it led to the realisation of my othering in a way, for i would never truly know what it is that society prizes and lauds so much. It led to a feeling of isolation and forced me to internalise a lot of shit, and probably bottle up things which i still haven't told anyone about.

then, the linking of my self worth with someone showing romantic interest in me. the feeling that something is wrong with me, physically, mentally, emotionally, just because someone never said hey i like you. the fear thats still within me that i am undesirable and not worthy. that even in movies the "ugly" girl sometimes ends up with a boy so why cant i? it led me to cling unhealthily to anyone who shows/ed me even a modicum of affection, to such an unhealthy degree that it destroyed a friendship, all in the wish that i was worthy of someone's love. all in the feeling that if no one likes me romantically, i do not have worth. i would be just someone people barely tolerate and leave as soon as they can.

also, as a cupioromantic: it fucks me up even more. cause i know wanting a relationship is sort of enforcing amatonormativity but fuck, it would be nice to have. and also, the fear that what will i say to an unsuspecting person, who gets in a relationship with me? with the expectation that it will be romantic? " hey sorry i can never love you romantically but i love you with my whole heart and i hope thats enough?" and then watching them leave cause if there isn't romance whats the damn point?

it hurts every time i think people getting in relationships, expecting me to relate about romantic attraction, them saying "you will also get one don't worry" them being allies but not even knowing aromantic and treating me like i'm a cold hearted monster who could never love truly and its the mourning in the corner of my heart for the fact that i can never experience what people say is a fundamental feeling and in the end,

it fucks you up.

#froggybxy #asks #aro #aromantic #cupioromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #aroace #amatonormativity #long post #thanks for indulging me #also the thinking that a relationship will cure your depression #it wont

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lacependragon · 5 months

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One of the things I love so much about canon rewrites is taking characters and backstories and tweaking them, slightly, doing the changes I'm interested in, and then butterfly effect-ing my way forward to the first chapter to understand how those changes have affected characters since they first came into their worlds.

It's so much fun to see how it changes people. To see how you can keep their cores but tweak the fine details, play with the public persona, twirl out different relationship threads from the miasma of change and curiosity you've entwined yourself with.

Having Pyrrha be trained by Caroline Cordovin, a character I am likening to a Greek God, a character who takes heavy inspiration from Achilles' mother (in my world) and who desperately wants to be remembered, to create a legacy, in a hero. To be immortalized in her progeny. To never be forgotten. And then to have her be in charge of Argus, to have her push Pyrrha from the start, to take this detail of Caroline Cordovin being in charge of Argus and making her and Pyrrha linked this closely, I've gotten this very interesting Pyrrha. A Pyrrha that is still, at her core, the same kind and loving and loyal and destiny-believing girl we all adore, but who is deeply traumatized, whose insecurities are marked in blood and isolation, and who is desperately lonely to a degree that isn't explored in canon.

80% the same. 20% different. That's what I'm working with, in terms of numbers. It's not an exact science, but it's a feeling - a vibe.

Jaune wasn't allowed to become a hunter because of the death of his grandfather, a trained hunter, when his father was a child. So he had to do things in secret. Different conflict in the family.

Pyrrha's heavy training and the tweaks to the magic system means she recognizes Jaune doesn't have an awakened aura in the locker room. Different starting motivations.

Ruby and Yang have grown up with a four parent household even if two of those parents are gone. Qrow is just as much their father as Taiyang and they treat him as such. Qrow and Taiyang's dynamics, with each other, with their kids, and with the world as a whole, have been tweaked to suit the changes made to STRQ. And considering how little we have of STRQ?

Oh boy did I have some fun.

Ruby Rose has carried around Summer's emblem since the night she left. She took her emblem off her cape and pulled her weapon from it, handing it to Ruby and putting her weapon on her back. She asked Ruby to hang on to it until she got back.

Now Ruby flicks it into the air to summon Crescent Rose. A weapon that protects them better than Mom ever did. But it's bitterness and love and guilt and grief and loyalty and frustration all tied into one. Ruby wonders if Summer knew she wasn't coming back. Ruby wonders if they were the last person Summer ever spoke to. Ruby wonders if they'll ever live up to the legacy of love and kindness and work that their mother left behind.

And as Ruby learns what Summer was to the Ozluminati, as they learn about Salem and Cinder and the Maidens and the Grimm, that weight is only going to grow. Because Summer was thought to be the one to stop Salem. And she's gone.

How do you live up to that?

And how do you convince yourself it's okay to be angry? It's okay to be bitter? It's okay to hate her for leaving you behind while still loving her? How do you choke back those emotions and find a way to speak through them, to explain how you feel?

You don't. So you get a little more frustrated, a little more grumpy, a little more jaded. But you still believe in hope and love and kindness.

And you still want to save everyone. Everyone. No matter what.

"We're here to make it better. So that's what we'll do, no matter how hard it is or how long it takes."

Little changes. A legacy that weighs much heavier from day one. An emblem that represents something from the moment we first see it - literally and metaphorically.

80% same. 20% change.

Jacques went to prison two years ago. The Schnee family is slowly recovering, but a lifetime of trauma can't be undone in two years. Weiss goes to Beacon not just to breathe, not just to find herself, but also to flee the knowing eyes and snide comments of everyone in Atlas. She is protective of her remaining family, fiercely loyal to her mother and her efforts to fix things. She detests her father. Her father is what most people who know about everything see the first time they see her - or so she feels, anyway.

So she's still prickly. She's still got her hackles up. She's still defensive, and frustrated, and a little too caught up in her side of the problem. But can you blame her? She's been picked at and poked at since she was 15 by a world that didn't want to believe her father is a monster. Will always be a monster.

And she carries that every day. Not just in her traumas, but also in the loss of a lot of her eyesight in that eye. In the way she flinches when some men raise their voices and slam their hands on tables. In the way she starts snarling the moment she gets backed into a corner.

Traits Blake recognizes. Traits that slowly get them both to bond. Because yes, they are from opposite worlds, but look at these scars that are the same. Look at these reactions that are mirrors to one another. Bridging the gap through understanding of pain.

80% same. 20% different.

Yeah. That's the thesis of RWBY rewrite changes. That's the vibe.

#lace speaks #lace writes #rwby rewrite #rwby

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invisible-pink-toast · 2 months

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i don't understand why with the modern retellings of fairytales no one has done rapunzel? there's been a growing trend in wanting to have 'darker' fairytales, or to deconstruct or explore the original stories. but a rapunzel adaptation would be able to do this so well!

compared to other fairytale's and princesses, rapunzel isn't in many adaptations. think of how many different versions of cinderella, snow white, beauty and the beast or peter pan there are (obviously varying in quality lmao)

it's honestly endless!

but rapunzel has very few adaptations:

there are two major movies: 'barbie rapunzel' and 'tangled',

rapunzel is a character in the musical 'into the woods', which also became a movie

one major tv series which is the tangled spinoff 'rapunzel's tangled adventure'

even in stories that combine many fairytales, rapunzel is rarely in them - being a minor villain in 'shrek the third', and as a minor character appearing in one episode of 'once upon a time' in season 3, and then a different version of rapunzel appears in season 7 as a villain who is also lady tremaine (idk i didn't write it)

so there's a lot of potential to explore the story more, especially considering no adaptation has ever gone into the original story (into the woods would be the most similar, but the ending is quite different and rapunzel's not a major character in the musical) and that most versions of rapunzel so far have been for younger audiences.

even just the basic premise of the original story would fit a darker fairytale - a girl is raised in isolation, kept in a tower with no doors or ways to leave and her only company is the abusive woman who raises her, telling the girl she is being kept safe from the outside world. not to mention the other elements of the original story that would be interesting to see portrayed onscreen or be interpreted in different ways - a baby being bartered, rapunzel banished by the woman who raised her for being pregnant, the prince is pushed from the tower and is blinded by thorns, in some versions the witch ends up trapped in the tower herself, etc.

there's a lot of elements there that would make for a fascinating, darker version then what we've seen.

in some of the earlier concept art for tangled, rapunzel is portrayed as much more wild:

which makes a lot of sense!

barbie rapunzel, tangled and into the woods went for a route of rapunzel being sweet, sheltered and naive, which was fuelled by the witch's manipulations. depending on the version, the witch treats rapunzel as a daughter, an indentured servant, or a mix of the two.

but there could be a version of the story where rapunzel is left more to her own devices. or models herself more after the witch - the only person she's ever known. or where her learnt fear of the outside world leads her to want to protect herself against these dangers.

it would be also interesting (as well as pretty heartbreaking) to look into how rapunzel would feel after knowing that her entire life was a lie. that the woman she obeyed and cared about was using her and lied to her. how rapunzel would interact with a world she's never known, but always been taught to fear. and if the story has rapunzel and the prince separated for a time (some versions for years), what would rapunzel's life be like - pregnant and alone and in the world for the first time?

and then there's the prince!

he hears rapunzel singing in the woods and is captivated, but can't get up into her tower, but comes back to listen to her every day. and after he secretly watches how the witch gets into the tower, he calls for rapunzel to let down her hair and climbs up himself. and then they... fall in love and secretly get married.

that part is always glossed over.

it could be a really beautiful love story - a lonely soul who spends most of his time wandering alone in the woods basically hears a siren song and is determined to meet the singer. rapunzel, who's only ever known abuse, meets a genuinely kind person who wants to show her the world. he comes back every day with a strand of silk for rapunzel to make a ladder so that she can be free. after they're separated the now blind prince wanders in search of her, eventually hearing her singing again and that's how they're reunited.

it could also be quite terrifying - a man becomes obsessed with a girl he barely knows, tricks her into letting him into her home, she has no relationship experience (or experience with people at all) and is just as isolated with him as she is with the witch. they get married in secret and she gets pregnant and is punished by the witch for it.

it could even be some version of the two - the prince being captivated by her song, but also drawn to the one thing he can't have (the girl in the tower). but rapunzel being wild when he meets her and him having to slowly earn her trust and respect, and genuinely wanting her to be free of her tower prison.

any adaptation would have to be careful with the character of the witch though - often called gothel, to not fall into antisemetic tropes.

the article 'antisemetism in children's media' explains the harmful ways villains are often jewish-coded:

"[Mother Gothel] was originally drawn as an elegant caucasian looking woman, only to be edited to look like a stereotypical Ashkenazi Jew, presumably as a means to appear more “evil”. Gothel is animated with a hooked nose, and coarse, black curly hair – all aspects commonly seen in antisemetic caricatures. Though these features on a villain alone are shocking enough, what is most terrifying about Gothel’s portrayal is the obvious use of Blood Libel tropes. This can be described as a false belief that Jews kidnap and murder young Christian children in order to perform religious rituals (often associated with Manischewitz wine and matzah). Sound familiar? That’s because it is thinly veiled in Gothel’s portrayal. In Tangled, the main character Rapunzel is portrayed as a young innocent white girl, who is kidnapped by the Jewish villain, who uses Rapunzel’s magical essence to make herself appear younger. What is the laziest attempt at villainizing Jews in this character, and possibly the most hurtful however, is that Gothel is a common jewish surname."

it's awful, and unfortunately something that's been present in many iterations of gothel over the years (as well as other fairytales and witch caricatures)

a solution to this is to not having the witch be jewish coded. her name doesn't have to be gothel, she does not have to have stereotypical or exaggerated features, and rapunzel doesn't even have to be white

but having a focus be on the witch and her relationship to rapunzel is key - because unlike many other fairytale villains, the witch raises rapunzel. in many versions she's the only human contact rapunzel has ever had, or in the versions where rapunzel is locked in the tower as a pre-teen, the witch is the only person she's seen in many years.

the witch's motivations for locking rapunzel away are also important for their relationship and the story:

the original fairytale and into the woods has the witch want to punish her neighbour for stealing from her garden, and wanting a child of her own

barbie rapunzel has a twist on this, gothel was in love with king wilhelm, and when he did not return her love, she kidnapped his daughter rapunzel and framed the neighbouring kingdom, causing the two to go to war.

tangled has gothel using a magic flower for eternal youth, but after the kingdom uses the flower to save the queen & unborn princess, gothel kidnaps the baby in order to stay alive and keep the magic now in rapunzel for herself

Another portrayal of her motivations:

"Many scholars have interpreted "Maiden in the Tower" stories, which Rapunzel is a part of, as a metaphor for the protection of young women from pre-marital relationships by overzealous guardians.[23] Scholars have drawn comparisons of the confinement of Rapunzel in her tower to that of a convent, where women's lives were highly controlled and they lived in exclusion from outsiders.[3]"

this would be a really interesting approach for the character that hasn't been done before. someone who truly believes that she is protecting the child, but is really the one doing all the damage. having the character be inspired by nuns/convents would also work well, as a lot of the techniques gothel uses line up with abusive nuns - isolation, guilt, emotional/physical abuse, and the treatment of rapunzel after the witch finds out she's pregnant. it also flips the head on the often antisemetic coding of the witch

depending on the version made there are a lot of possibilities for endings:

rapunzel having to brave the world alone and pregnant

rapunzel and the prince being reunited - but have days, weeks, months or years gone by? do they ever meet again?

meeting the prince again going differently if it's the terrifying version where he was using rapunzel just like the witch, only in a different way. maybe he wants nothing to do with her or the babies, maybe he pretends they never met at all. how would rapunzel's story change then?

is rapunzel ever reunited with her birth parents? does she want to be?

the ending could be darker, bittersweet, or end on an optimistic note

all this to say that rapunzel is a story with so much potential, and i would love to see it brought to life in more ways - with different genres or interpretations and taking more from the original story.

with the amount of random, unnecessary remakes that are being made - wouldn't a familiar fairytale told in a new way be more interesting?

#rapunzel #adaptation #fairytale #my meta #my post #into the woods #tangled #barbie rapunzel

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girlzlovinggirlzlovingme · 4 months

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i saw another ask abt other ships you like ( auntie + niece ) and i wanted to know if there are any others? not necessarily incest ( like teacher + student for eg. bc of the age gap ) but just curious :3

Oh, baby! You're getting straight into my bread and butter with this one. But, listen, teacher x student is cool. It's a classic, tried, and true. But what about Manager X Employee?

Let me paint a picture for you.

Your eyes lay upon a big glowing neon sign, putting a display on for the fourteen cars in an otherwise massive parking lot. First day of the first job you'll ever have. You're scared completely down to the bone. You submitted an application online and did an over the phone interview, letting the manager of the store know you're a quiet shut in who's way too scared to be doing anything involving customer service. Walking through the doors, you get to stand next to a handful of people who are less than thrilled for a day of work. Same as you.

Until you lay eyes on the most off-limits thing in the entire store, your boss. Despite just wearing a simple button-up and some decent dress pants, she somehow looks completely enchanting. So much power, yet so much apathy for a dead end job, contained in a few short sentences she gives to the team before starting the day. It's completely mystifying. You're trying not to stare, but it's so hard not to. You expected your boss to be some basic run of the mill manager, but. . . You can't take your eyes off of her. . . The amount of time spent jacking off before actually being forced to get a job makes you think only in perverted phrases like how you "want to fuck that milf as hard as possible."

She, not ignoring your fuck-me-eyes, keeps taking precursoious glances at you. Almost like she knew exactly what you wanted.

The entire day is spent fantasizing about how incredible it'd feel to drag her into her office and completely ruin her. Showing her just how badly your body aches for someone of her caliber. This all leads to deciding to stock the dairy fridges and finding the cold isolation of the refrigerator the perfect space to just rub yourself little by little, till your stroking your cock through your pants and moaning like there's no tomorrow.

But a lone voice drags you back to reality. "First day, and you can't even manage to not act like a complete degenerate?" In a single moment, the entirety of your livelihood went up in flames. Your boss doesn't seem mad, though. . . Maybe you can try to win her over or get her swooning like it's some kind of porno. You brace yourself to turn around and tell her if it's such an issue, why doesn't she deal with it herself by using her mouth.

Though, a hand quickly finds itself wrapped around your torso. "Come on, it's natural. I promise you have nothing to be ashamed of." Another hand hastily sliding its way down your pants and over your panties. "Girls, your age are just growing up. There is nothing to be embarrassed of. It's okay, I know how much you were looking earlier." You're being groped, oh god, you're being groped. This isn't how it was suppose to happen you were suppose to get her on her knees begging for your cock. "I have a daughter your age, spends all her time in her room. But I think we both know what she gets up to in there. You're different, though, despite all the hormones going through you manage to put yourself together and come to work despite this thick throbbing cock of yours, girlie." The gaps between each word are filled with tight grips around your shaft, making you whimper, like a little girl.

"Since you're trying so hard despite your aching, throbbing issue, I'll help you with it. Just make sure to come to me whenever you need help." Swiftly getting turned around and your pants pulled down to your ankles, you realize you might just be getting your girl dick serviced after all. . . Just not the way you imagined. . .

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welivetodream · 7 months

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Crippling loneliness in the age of the internet:

"Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?"

~Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart (1999)

Let me set the scene:

In a dark room, the only light is coming from the phone of a girl laying on the bed, as she mindlessly scrolls for hours on end. She is typing fast, she is running multiple apps in the background, she is listening to the latest hits while doing all of this, her earphones never leave her ears; even when she closes her eyes, she is still listening to a podcast. Despite all these activities happening around her. The girl looks bored and apathetic, her eyes are blank, no emotions, no thoughts. And for hours to come she stays in that state, waiting for something to happen, even if it doesn't, she doesn't care.

This could be the opening lines of a sci-fi novel but this is actually how I act when I am alone. This is how my life has become. And while people like to blame this on the internet that has made Gen Z mindless zombies; I think the only reason I haven't died is because of the internet. To normal people it's a curse that makes humanity fall to its lowest. To me it gave a purpose, a want and a direction to live for.

The Internet isn't the evil mastermind to me, it's a necessity that has kept me alive and not succumbing to the fact I have no one to talk with.

Internet to me isn't Instagram, Snapchat, Discord,Twi--X (someone stop Elon Musk from cooking), it's the "quirky" apps like Pinterest, Tumblr and Reddit as well as the depths of content that is YouTube. It's the places where I found "my" people who understood me, who accepted me, who appreciated me. Growing up I had no one to talk with, even my own family wasn't understanding, let alone my friends.

During my school life I had always been surrounded by friends or as I like to put it, people I can talk to and have lunch with during school hours. That's what it was, nothing more than that. My idea of friends was just different from others, I didn't want emotional connection or people to hang out with. I wanted friends who would listen to my ramblings and be able to debate and discuss things with.

I don't want to seem pretentious or snobbish and definitely not above others in any way. But....when I am surrounded by so many frustratingly stupid people, I don't have any other words to describe them than "not good enough for me". They may be wonderful people, who are warm and lively. I do not care about being around such people. I am someone that watches video essays on morality, ethics, philosophy and analysis of movies and TV, in comparison to the people I know I am just more perceptive and thoughtful and that alone makes me seem like a stranger to them (INTPs are weird in short form). My dad told me smart people have it hard to make friends because of this exact nature, I wouldn't call myself incredibly intelligent but I know I am far more capable in thinking than my classmates who watch reality TV shows and Tiktok dances. Sometimes I cannot even comprehend how people can even get satisfaction and happiness from something as simple as that and that's when I understand: it's okay to be different than that and it's okay that they are "normal".

I feel like I am Lain from "Serial Experiments Lain", as if my existence is given meaning by the internet and I was born from it. My lack of social interactions in person can be explained by that, but it's the thought of talking with other people that often scares me. I am used to being silent, so much so that even on the internet, I remain quiet, not interacting with people who might understand me. Being afraid of not being understood has stopped me from even trying to make connections when there's people ready to do that.

I don't even reply to comments on my posts, unless I have to and I don't talk with anyone on the internet itself. I just watch and be happy at other people's interactions and feel a sense of belonging.

For some days I decided to stop doing that, to stop the vow of silence. To let people approach me and approach others myself. I want to be friends and it's the only thing that I have ever considered as something I couldn't achieve.

Loneliness isn't as pretty as the movies and books tell you. It's more of a psychological thriller than a show like Euphoria and Skins where these stylised depictions make my depression and loneliness appear cool. It's cool to be alone, to have my own space and not cross boundaries but it's not cool to let the loneliness that shields me, devour me.

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2n2n · 9 months

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Uuughhh not to be obsessed with AidaIro's Snow White every day but like *covers my face with my arm* this concept ..................................................................... of childishly and instantly falling in 1-dimensional love as a result of having little options in life, is in Snow White!!!

Rasphard manages to sneak out of his study room, when he is a young boy, and he incidentally meets the Princess (whom his twin brother is set to be the servant of, and in love with) ... Rasphard has never seen a young girl (crazily, he is like 8 and she is like 3???) ... he is immediately spellbound, in love. But, when he grows up... he does articulate, understand, that he doesn't have a real definition of love. He can't know what it feels like; he knows his feelings are the result of emptiness, lonliness ... while he believes his twin, Estelio, and the Princess, have an actual, real, earned, lived-in love. His life, his sparse interactions, deprive him of the ability to really assess anything he feels. His life in a vacuum, his love without context. What sincerity can he have?

This is something Iro-sensei can write with respect and love... you can play the game, and, you can be inclined to believe Rasphard really does love the Princess, that it's unfair of him to demean his own feelings as illegitimate due to his bleak life. How can we even discuss authenticity or practical reality of something like love? Does Rasphard have to wait years into his rehabilitation to respect his own feelings? What if someone is always lonely? What if they are never stable? What if that person they met, really was their soulmate, we're engaging in romantic narratives here, there's no need for the grueling realism of recovery for us, the audience, who want characters to have happiness. More to the point... Rasphard deserves love now. And his childhood love should get to be beautiful, not stupid. Though I think at the point of writing it, Iro-sensei is more bleak and unsure...

In this way I am SHOCKED Tsukasa can just up and kiss Nene-chan, that he ISN'T forfeiting Nene-chan to his twin brother like Rasphard does, but ughhhh that's so interesting. It's like therefor crazy meta for me for anyone to be like "ugh, Tsukasa can't really..." or "Tsukasa doesn't really feel..." or "Tsukasa's just crazy and..." like houhhhg 😭 Rasphard was depicted as clinically psychotic, struggling with delusions & reality, and as a result of that, did not trust or respect any of his emotions, on top of the isolation... did not feel he could or should have love. And as a crazy mfer it really made me cry .... lol. Not to get too real about it. I promise it's still just a silleh little heartfelt toilet comedy and you're not being like ... a bad person to hate some aspect of it, it's not so serious so don't read me too severely for my personal investment lol. But for me it's like, dimensionally wild irony to hear such things, it's like all the reasons Rasphard believed he should kill himself and save everyone else from his instability/burden are corroborated in a sick & twisted new age way, LOL AAAAA !

#avvy's JSHK

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fruitysourlemons · 3 months

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I am FASCINATED by the potential contexts in which all but Sayori would be trying to yank Yugi to pieces. Please tell me more.

Unfortunately, Sayori isn't involved in the story as the dokis' inclusion in my fanfic is mostly based on act two of DDLC. I feel bad for not including her and try to think of ways I can include her, but for now I've decided that she canonically just lives in a different town.

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Monika coerces Yugi into joining the club similarly to how she does MC in DDLC: she asks him to visit the club. In this storyline, though, unlike in DDLC, Monika tells Yuri and Natsuki beforehand that she's bringing a new member, like how Sayori did in act one. So, Natsuki made cupcakes and Yuri would make tea.

Monika knows Yugi has a hard time turning people down, so she convinces him to come by pleading with him and telling him that she promised her clubmates that she'd bring a new member that day. Yugi protests at first, but relents fairly quickly, as Monika had expected. In the clubroom, after being given a warm welcome, Yugi eventually musters the courage to tell the girls that he has no intention of joining the club. Monika, Yuri, and Natsuki are incredibly disappointed, and Yugi can't help but give in to their sad faces. So, hesitantly, he says he'll give it a try with the excuse that it's good to try new things.

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At first, Monika has no problem with Yugi hanging around the other girls. She figures that she can pull him towards her easily with romantic poems and frequent compliments. The whole reason she dragged Yugi into the club was to bring him closer to her. However, she grows increasingly frustrated as Yugi is drawn more to the other girls, hardly giving Monika time with him, and the other girls seem to be attracted to him. So, Monika tries to get his attention away from them by influencing them to fight and bringing up their flaws to Yugi. Over time, she tries more and more desperately and furiously to keep Yugi for herself as her plan fails.

For Yuri, Yugi is one of the only people who speaks kindly to her, pays any attention to her, has interest in her, and really understands her. Yuri had always struggled to maintain relationships and was, therefore, lonely. She never felt like she belonged, nor that anyone cared for her, nor that anyone could understand her, but not with Yugi. Naturally, she grows very fond of him very quickly, and that fondness turns into love and admiration as she spends more time with him. However, Yuri can't shake the feeling that Yugi will leave her, and she refuses to let that happen. Like Monika, she didn't mind Yugi spending time with the others at first. She has no direct intention of isolating him, but she ends up not letting him spend time with anyone but her as her anxiety takes over.

Natsuki hates to admit it, but, she really likes Yugi and cares about him. They have a few classes together, so she's seen him before. She didn't know much at first other than he was shy and seemed very gloomy. As she gets to know Yugi in the club, she learns that he's a sweetheart and that they have several common interests. He doesn't judge her like her other friends do. What frustrates her is that Yugi can't or won't stand up for himself: he gets bullied, never refuses people, and is yanked around easily. Seeing Monika and Yuri's troubling behavior, out of concern for his wellbeing, Natsuki tries to pull Yugi away from them. She constantly bickers with them and passive aggressively points out their flaws and wrongdoings. Over time, she only gets more furious as they continue their behavior and Yugi refuses to stay away from them.

Yugi despises the negative tension pervading the air in the literature club. He can't understand why the girls seem to hate each other. He doesn't like being pulled around by all of them, either. He doesn't like Monika's bad-mouthing, Yuri's obsessive behavior, and Natsuki's anger and bitterness. However, he doesn't have the heart to speak up and potentially hurt their feelings. He just wishes they could all get along. He still enjoys being with them. Over time, he gets more exasperated, yet more complaisant with the on-goings of the literature club.

#fanfic #fanfiction #yugioh #yugioh season 0 #yugi mutou #doki doki literature club #ddlc monika #ddlc yuri #ddlc natsuki

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graylinesspam · 11 months

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I've been trading existential dread with my queerplatonic wife for a while now. Because she's dealing with the crazy world of dating as a pretty queer girl in Texas. And I'm somewhere in a pit about my AroAce identity and the fact that I can't live independently from my parents now. (yes I know that's a capatilist ploy but I'm a hyper independent oldest daughter that was supposed to have my life together by know before surprise disability wrecked all of my dreams. So give me a while to mourn please.)

And one of the things she's helped me put into words is about how fucking lonely and useless and pathetic I feel. Because, most people, especially women, my age start to deal with their physical and mental restrictions with the support of a partner. I mean early twenties is peak, "we're both fucked up and afraid but at least we have each other," years.

And being an AroAce person, I don't have that option as readily available. I don't have people who are willing to support me, and spend time with me, and help me figure myself out. Because I'm not trading sex and romantic connection.

I'm in desperate need of human connection. Of a place to live outside my childhood home. Of emotional support. Of someone to listen to me rant at 10 p.m. And hold my hand when I'm scared and encourage me to better myself. To push myself to grow under these near impossible conditions. And I don't have that.

I can't rely on my family. Not because their bad people but because they're similarly isolated and emotionally neglected people that are hanging on by a thread and have been for most of my life. But at least my parents have each other.

I'm starting to get scared that I'll never find that connection. Because I need so much, and I can't offer the basic currency that people my age trade in.

Most of the time I like to think of that as a good thing. I don't need to worry about who I do or don't fall for because it'll never happen. I don't have to worry about 'losing the spark' or falling out of love with someone. Because I won't ever love them in such a flimsy way. I can focus on my try compatibility with my future partners. Our emotional and physical needs. Our preferences. Our boundaries, and similar interests.

But that's optimistic future me who has a job and a car, whose been through therapy, and figured themselvs out, and isn't a burden in a relationship. That's not now me. Now me is not someone I would ever consider dating and asking anyone else to date me feels so unfair. Like I'm taking advantage of them. Like I don't have enough to offer in return. (again hyper independence.)

And part of me wants so badly to just going to give in and take the first offer. To just say the right things and put out and pretend like I can connect with someone in a way I so clearly cannot.

I know in the future I will have so much to offer if I can just make it there. But that feels impossible to do on my own. And quite frankly I just don't have anyone.

But it isn't fair to myself or to anyone else for me to knowingly lie to them to receive the support I need. And I couldn't mentally handle it even if I tried.

It's just so hard to build relationships with other people when you don't have that foundation of attraction that everyone seems to think is so intricate to human connection.

I want a relationship built on respect and meeting each others needs. And communication and support. I want to be adult and mature about this. But the truth of the matter is that I am young and alone and lost. And I need help. I don't have hardly anything to offer and need so much.

And I don't know how I'm ever going to get to the point that I can offer anyone anything if I don't get my needs met.

So I'm spinning my wheels in fucking predatory right now.

And I'm trying to be so proud of my identity this June. But sometimes it's hard.

As much time as I spend advocating to baby aces that it will get better and you absolutely don't need to ignore it or pretend. That people will understand. That you will find that connection you need. Sometimes it's so fucking hard to remember that for myself. I'm not over the struggle yet. And frankly, I'm scared all the time.

It's just the way that identity has intersected with all the other parts of my life in the most inconvenient way possible. I'm fucking poor, too autistic to drive, chronically fatigued with serious joint issues, and fucking alone. Everything sucks right now.

#June #pride month #lgbt community #aroace #asexual #aromantic #Triple A in the queer way #Agender #Its fucking hard sometimes #And i'm trying to remind myself that the struggle is worth it #The struggle is how you grow #But it doesnt feel like i'm growing #It feels like i'm falling apart #And i'm fuckng crying in the middle of pride month #Please dont read this and get scared away from being ace #It doesnt suck all the time #I'm just going through it right now

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live-love-laugh-lesbian · 8 months

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Me at therapy: Yeah growing up gay can be kinda isolating. When the other girls all want to talk about boys and you have no way to relate, it can suck.

Therapist: Well I disagree. I'm straight but I can admit when a woman looks good. You don't have to be attracted to guys to relate!

Like lady how tf would you know. Were you a teenager in a mythical society that expects you to be gay, and where everyone around you liked women? Did you have other girls chatting about their lesbian crushes whilst you sat awkwardly trying to pretend you felt the same because you'd get harrassed and bullied if you admitted otherwise? Did you feel lonely because for ages you knew nobody like you? No you did not!! You grew up being the default sexuality, the one expected of everyone, the one that gets to be free of worrying about being found out. If you meet a lesbian and she tells you about her crush, sure you won't get it, and she sure won't expect you to, but nodding and maybe going "yeah your crush is pretty, I can see why you like her" to that one lesbian isn't the same thing as a lesbian being surrounded by women who like men and expect you to like them as well.

Like it's not just that I don't relate. It's that I was the odd one out, the one expected to change somehow, the one who got bullied and harrassed when I couldn't. Nobody else was like me and nobody had issues pointing out their disapproval. That's why it's isolating, you declaring that it's not isolating is stupid af when you have no way to get it.

Straight people have NO understanding of how isolating being gay can be and I wish they could accept that instead of trying to insist that our perceptions of our experiences are wrong.

#lgbt #lgb #lesbian #vent

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bibiana112 · 2 years

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would LOVE to hear u talk abt ur ideas for the ib au! always loved that art but i dont know anythiiiing abt ib besides the very basics but id so incredibly love to listen what it, and in turn the au is abt!!! always open for all thoughts

Okay so Mary- the one with the yellow rose Akane is holding- is this like super lonely and isolated weird little girl that literally has a book called "how to make friends" and well spoilers that's because she's actually a painting of a girl that never existed that was the gallery artist's like idea of a perfect daughter kind of? Since the name of the gallery, the "World of ___" thing, is Kurashiki then you could really have the artist be A) Aoi which uhhh I guess and it could be that she did exist and died or B) Akane herself and have it be a thing where she painted the idealized version of her younger self that never was which I like a lot more because the artist is in fact dead and their spirit is what makes things in the game come to life and the fact he did that kind of intentionally by pouring his soul into his work and thus creates a labyrinth with death at every corner just feels very close to her envisioning and haunting them death games. Okay so, the game has the protagonist as this semi verbal too young to read properly kid named Ib that gets lost from her parents during a visit to this art exhibit so that's Quark, lost baby child that gets nightmares from the horrors™ and is in constant danger of shutting off and staying in their ideal imagining of reality instead of facing it and leaving to the real world again and ending up all alone despite that being the scariest possible fate in this game. And Junpei as Gary as in queer guy who's barely put together and a bit of a clumsy wuss that grows to support this kid that he's come across and also Mary for the duration of time where she isn't. well. Okay so there's the thing that this haunted gallery place meets with reality in a very specific way, you can enter or leave through the Figment of the World painting however.. only the same amount of people who have entered from reality can also return to it so the whole thing is that Mary wants to be real and have a friend and thus latches onto the kid her own age and decides to try and get rid of the adult that is said to remind her of the gallery's artist aka the guy who painted her aka absent father figure aka Akane in this version but then sooo... Mini Akane sees grown up Junpei and thinks of grown up Akane but would she. Would that be a negative? Would she be mad? Would she want to escape with Junpei or Quark? Which one would she try to kill? Which one would forget to take the knife away from her while she's passed out– that part is just salt I don't really know how to tackle this lol I can't imagine this Akane doing the pallet knife shtick either even if I don't have a good reason for her not to? I can very well imagine her doing the whole cute bunny sculptures being actually creepy dolls thing like instead of attacking she only does the thing of not intervening there so one of them is so scarred that they can't leave but it's mostly the gallery's will there and not her own which omg this whole line of thinking along with the Painting's Demise ending would just fit so well with a narrative of how indifferent and cruel future Akane is even to younger versions of herself... Also something I think you'd find particularly interesting is that you find Gary like an inch away from death and save him before he joins you so that could be like an inverse of their situation in canon because it'd be Quark saving him first and then depending on the ending it could either be Tenmyouji returning the favor just by being a supportive figure to lead them away from the gallery or by trading away his life for them and being sure to tell the kid he's only going to take a nap which doesn't hurt at all and you could also easily fix the weird undertones of the best possible ending by having Quark on his own in the gallery to begin with and them both making the actual decision to stick by each other once they get their memories somehow AND OMG MARY FUCKING BURNS ALIVE IN THE ENDINGS WHERE THE OTHER TWO ESCAPE TOGETHER?? SO LIKE MY GOD I don't Know if there's anything to explain there but there sure is a lot of implications.....

#we could like play this game if you want it is super short and free and it's so special...#I like to stop at 999 because I can just interpret it as Akane's love letter to her younger self and getting justice for her inner child #and not. whatever she keeps dragging herself into after #MAYBE THE HEADLESS MANNEQUINS COULD BE GOLLEMS...#I don't know how to spell that #but yeah! I will jump at any opportunity to introduce this game to anyone and it's literally like three to four hours only so let's let's #did I mention I love Mary so much it's unreal I am losing my shit so hard at this comparison #I also compare her to Namine a lot too but more for the lonely blonde surrounded by art thing instead of the. everything else #a tag for asks #hh goddamit #vlr spoilers #okay with that out of the way I. I didn't expect to write this much on it my god akdhksjs #dreamy don't look

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crimeronan · 2 years

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hello. i followed you for correct leverage opinions, and have continued to do so because the vibes. impeccable. that being said, please tell me about the trc and cdth and the nightmare trauma pals and the other group

omg. okay i'll do my best

the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater is the first series, you'll find a lot of quick and simple summaries of the plot with a google search. there's a girl who can't kiss anyone because she'll kill her true love with a kiss, a boy searching for a dead welsh king in virginia to give his life meaning, a lot of romping around in the woods, etc

but the heart of the story is that it's about these six teens from wildly different backgrounds (though one of them doesn't enter the scene until book 3) falling in love and being Horribly messy about it. the external plot is centered on magic but the internal arcs are all about isolation, mental illness, classism, identity, growing up, growing apart, love as a choice. most of the main cast is desperately trying to save a doomed boy who just wants to make sure all of his loved ones will be okay when he's gone

the ot6 polycule is made up of

the girl who's already grieving the doomed boy because she's seen his future ghost, trying so hard not to let anyone else in on her secret, taking on more trauma and fear by the day as the series progresses

the doomed boy himself, an achingly lonely and extremely privileged kid who wants to do the right thing but always seems to fuck up; he feels he loves everyone more than they'll ever love him

the classic scholarship kid present in any book involving a boarding school, poor with a rough home life, desperately in love with the doomed boy without believing that love actually exists, & sick with terror bc of it

the shouty fighty walking disaster who's just starting to recover from a suicide attempt; found his father's dead body and it's been all downhill from there. nasty and caustic but prone to consistent quiet kindness

the actual ghost who's dependent on magic and the love of his friends to stay corporeal, exhausted, tired of decaying and trapped in a traumatic feedback loop that he can't pull himself out of

the social chameleon who's up to his ears in double identities and the criminal underground and trauma of his own, trying to suss out whether any of the other 5 are trustworthy and whether he can use them to his own ends

all of the interpersonal relationships are STUNNING and dynamic, characters can go from enemies to friends to enemies to lovers over the course of a few books, it's all just. really good

call down the hawk is a sequel to this series, the first book in a trilogy

it's about magic as chronic illness, magic as community, magic as something that wants to kill you but could also save you; you can view all of the character arcs through different lenses of disability, & the main conflict in book 2 boils down to accommodation versus independence for chronically ill people

the nightmare trauma pals are ronan and hennessy. both of them can bring their dreams to life. both have had nightmares try to kill them for years, thanks to their unrelenting ptsd and other illness. they're intensely platonic (ronan is gay) and have all the dynamic messiness of the trc relationships, turned up to eleven

they become best friends almost instantly because of their combined ability to laugh and to call the other on their shit; they're messy because they're awful codependent freaks who are both FAR too sick to truly help the other; ronan is trying to be someone healthy for hennessy despite having no idea what that looks like, so he's making it up as he goes along; hennessy doesn't understand why everything feels awful and ronan isn't helping like he promised and also why he doesn't seem to care that their codependency hurts her

but that's just one of many complex relationships in the series -- another extremely compelling one is between hennessy and jordan, a girl who's "not real" because hennessy dreamed her, but Very Fucking Real insofar as she has interiority and her own motivations and desires and a desperate want to be free. and how hennessy keeps dragging her back because she's so afraid of having to exist without jordan taking care of her

dreamer trilogy is SIGNIFICANTLY darker and more fucked up than the raven cycle, which is why i love it the most. but if you prefer lighter media you might like trc better! also this overview barely touches on, like, anything i have to say about either series. as evidenced by.... the thousands of posts on my blog. but these are the main highlights that i'm In It for!

#replies #trc #cdth #long post #suicide m

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catboyshinsou · 3 years

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sick headcanons!

anon request: i love your writing smmm !! 🥺 can i request mha sick hcs where they take care of the reader when they don’t feel well 🥺 you choose who !! <3333

a/n: sorry it took so long <//3

pairings: Kaminari, Kirishima, Tokoyami and Monoma x sick,g/n!reader

warnings: none rlly, mention of throwing up in monoma, slight manga spoilers

can be seen platonically and romantically <3

kaminari:

Tbh i think he’d be quite Useless

Just rlly panicky n stuff bc what the fuck does one do with a sick person???

*walks into your dorm* “hey y-n wanna- WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOK TERRIBLE”

*you in a blanket and not having enough energy to be offended* “i think i’m dying” “y/n WHAT”

He’d try his best regardless tho

He goes to sato and helps with doing something soothing and welcoming

On his way back to your dorm he passes aizawa and tells him you’re sick in THE worst way

“Oh yeah Aizawa-sensei, y/n is dying-” “THEY’RE WHAT”

Kami would definitely storm into the room with him and be just as worried

What if it was something really serious??? Like the plague?????

They find you just laying in bed, sniffling and groaning

Turns out it wasn’t the plague and just a bad flu

Flu with its whole jazz, you had a fever of 38C and you could barely move

Aizawa got you excused from classes for about a week and left again

Kami just stood there with his soup and went “oh thank god you're not dying”

like i said i think he'd be useless but try his best

he checks up on you every half hour either in person or via text during classes

he brings you stuff like blankets and foods even though you can't taste any of them or have any type of appetite

but! thanks to the fridge in your room you just had snacks for about… forever

he gave you extra attention too

sometimes he'd just sit on the ground and talk about his day and theories while you just laid under your blanket

you appreciated it though

except for aizawa, sato and tsuyu nobody came over and even they just came in every few hours

kami stayed for hours on end and even tried to convince aizawa to let him sleep over so he could “watch over you” incase you “stopped breathing”

it's not like you slept much when he was around anyway, nights were not ideal for a good rest on a sick day

it was endearing seeing him lay on a futon on the floor and poking you when he had to get up for class

he leaves notes and stuff to make sure you didn't get worried

did he do anything to make you feel better physically? not rlly

did he lift your spirits and make you feel less lonely? most definitely

kirishima:

hear me out

this boy is an angel when it comes to caring for people

when he got into the whole essentially self care stuff he also knows what's best for others

he was probably one of the first to notice you being ~off your game~

whether in class or just yknow vibing, he'd tap your shoulder and softly “you okay man?”

he calls everyone dude and man and bro no matter gender or anything he's just that into the manliness stuff

and yes he puts you in essentially self isolation more for yourself than for others

“your body needs to rest y/n! can't properly get better if everyone keeps bothering you!”

he calls you every night tho and he has aizawa bring you stuff when he checks up on you (he's allowed because he's the teacher ofc also as long you're a UA student like one of your legal guardians which is like a dad and dads can see their kids sick right?)

stuff ranges from just bowls of soup to compresses to the handmade ointment against a sore throat to like socks he knitted or something his parents sent in bc he told them you were sick

yes this boy tells his parents you're sick

i mean someone probably told yours but like twice the parents means twice the comfort!

alternatively if your parents are *cough* he'd tell his parents and put you on the phone with them because everyone needs some parental love from time to time (don't act tough about it, he's gonna make you cry and tell you how manly you are for doing so)

when you're back on your feet he probably still treats you like you're about to fall over for like two or three days more

he praises you for how well you did during your essential quarantine and when you say you didn't do anything he says some cheesy stuff about manliness

“bro i'm so proud of you for getting through it!” “i didn't do anything kiri-” “don't say that! it takes so much energy and manliness to keep in self isolation and get better, you did amazing”

tokoyami:

i love birds

also look at baby toko he's so cute

do birds get sick?

anyways

tokoyami is like.. helpful but tries to be undercover about it

he's not gonna ignore you or anything

he's the type to like silently nudge teachers into your area so they could see you were clearly sick and send you back to the dorms to rest

but he'd never actually ask you or tell anyone

it would ruin his whole ~vibe~

dark shadow tells him to tell someone and he rlly does especially if he sees you struggling through it in class but he's also just not great at talking with people so a nudge or “secret note” will have to do

it does work, you're in your dorm right before combat training because mic had sent you up and excused you

mic is sweet he said he'd send aizawa up when he finds him but that you should rest

he also tells you that you have some really attentive friends

you're at this point just letting the sickness take over you so you have no idea what he just said (you heard him but the words just didn't register in your brain)

you get into bed and the first thing you do is sleep through afternoon classes

tokoyami is only at 50% today and so is dark shadow

tokoyami swears he isn't worried, the teachers are capable of taking care of you in an appropriate manner so that you will recover in no time

dark shadow on the other hand is all gittery and doesn't wanna focus on anything but you

off topic but i just think dark shadow is tokoyamis way of showing emotions or well like… like his internal thoughts? not like his internal dialogue but ya know his feelings

so he can act all goth and dramatic but dark shadow is a good way of still giving some of his feelings an output

back to you

so training is over and so is your nap

but you wake up to pillows, stuffed animals, blankets and more pillows surrounding you

half of them weren't yours either

they laid around you like some kind of pillow fortress jusy surrounding you and making sure you didn't hit your head on the wall or fall from the bed

it kinda felt like a nest- oh

you tried getting up, your head almost immediately flinging uoh back into bed but you needed to see if a certain someone would come back in to build the nest

“dark shadow, be quiet we don't want them to w- oh you're up”

tokoyami came in with more stuffies and an extra blanket like it was a siberian winter and your rooms only source of warmth was an almost dying candle

“are those yours?” you asked half asleep, your head absolutely booming

you could barely keep your eyes open, that's how exhausted you were but you made an effort to smile at the bird and his shadow

“uh no, yaomomo-san insisted on making some blankets for you and hagakure-san, ashido-san and uraraka-san gave me all their stuffed animals when they heard i was paying you a visit-” “but the blue star blanket and teardrop pillow are from fumi!! he brought them from home because he can't sleep without them!!” “DARK SHADOW!”

you only chuckled before breaking out in a cough again

aizawa came in some time after and had a hard time finding you under all the blankets and stuffies and even offered to tell the class to stop bothering you

but you just laid there all cozy and told him to let them be

“it's how he shows affection, it's nice”

monoma:

oh so the 1A student got sick??? huh??? I thought 1A was invincible hUUUUUUH??? *manic laughter*

coughs

anyways

so basically the two hero courses are more “in tune” after the joint training

they often have dinners together and it isn't rare to see kendo come over with monoma and tetsu^4

she came over to hang with the girls and tetsu had training sessions with kiri

nobody rlly knew why monoma tagged along though

all he did was spout about how average everything is for the “superior hero course”

he did secretly like the classes growing together more though

he'd sit on the couch with you and occasionally laugh about something else other than his team beating yours during joint training

one day he came in and didn't see you at your usual spot

“ehhhh??? where's the only tolerable person in this course??”

used to his lowkey insults deku pointed you out at the dinner table, head resting on your hand and looking over some homework

“y/n what are you- oh my god you look horrible”

“thanks monoma, you're as nice as ever”

your face was drained of any colour, eyes heavy lidded and you could barely control the pen that scribbled over the paper

he tried grabbing your wrist but pulled back immediately

you were way too hot and the fact that he noticed by grabbing your wrist meant that it was more than just a high fever

“is 1A that incompetent that they couldnt even notice their classmate falling sick??? can you guys do anything but trouble???”

“shut up monoma, we tried getting them to bed but they insisted on finishing up first and there's nothing in the world that can get y/n away from what they've put their head to”, kaminari yelled from the living room space

how were you gonna get anything finished if your head was falling off your shoulders if you didn't hold it up

class 1A really was incompetent

“sato-san, give me a hand”

sato, who was currently cooking up dinner, just held out his hand and some type of chocolate bar which monoma grabbed and ate up

“this is incredibly sweet, i don't know how you do it”

it's become like half a routine for monoma to copy quirks for whatever reason

kiri and tetsu used it to determine which quirk was handier

uraraka’s quirk made cleaning up after a game night easier

it was training for all of them

monoma could train his copy and the others could measure how much they've grown from his reaction to it

anyways

sato’s quirk kicked in and he lifted you up over his shoulder

“monoma!” you could barely lift your voice, faintly kicking

before you knew it he placed you on your bed in your dorm and sighed

“you're lighter than i thought”

“i think i'm gonna throw up”

so you hurled into your garbage can

monoma held back whatever there was to hold back

(he was very much disgusted but even he knew that this wasn't the time to let any type of negative emotion show)

“jolly gees y/n, what did you have for breakfast?!”

you laid in bed as he passed you a water bottle

“you need to drink something, you lost a lot of water”

“awe caring for me, monoma?”

“this is for general health, y/n. i would never as much as care for anyone, especially not a brat from 1A. who even knew that any of you could fall sick huh?! weren't you supposed to be superior to the rest of us??!”

he said all of that while putting a blanket on you and opening the window for fresh air

“god you 1A fools really are incompetent!”

he went into your bathroom and soaked a small towel in water

“i'm only doing this so you don't infect anyone. god you could cause an epidemic at UA and in the end 1b would fall victim to you as well! this is all just for the general well-being!”

you didn't even hear what he was saying anymore

with a half empty bottle next to your head, you slept peacefully

monoma let out a deep breath when he saw you

“i'd never care for anyone in 1A, i'm better than that…”

he whispered those words to himself

(he did care)

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imissthembutitwasntadisaster · 2 years

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⭐both parts of August and Inez pls⭐

It's so important to me that you love August and Inez the way you do because I forget about them far too much and it's always lovely to be reminded about them! So, a director's cut/behind the scenes of both stories:

I don't know why I associate Inez with orange, but I do, she's a very orange girl to me, so that matches August's hair in my eyes which is symbolic and all. So, I described her as a girl in an orange jacket because she just is to me!

Because Inez gets so little in the song I tended to fix on her a lot, characters who are dismissed as a negative trait are always really interesting to me because what makes them that way? why is she a gossip? why is she a gossip that people know they shouldn't believe but they do anyway? what would drive her to that? and looking at all the characters in this high school, August and Dorothea and her lover and even Betty and James to an extent, the most obvious trait in them I think is loneliness - they're all quite isolated and lonely in some way. So it made sense for Inez to be lonely too, to be wishing to be seen, to be noticed. And I liked making Dorothea her best friend as a kid because Dorothea was a pagent queen type girl, I thought it was an interesting contrast.

August for me is overwhelmingly kind, and obviously we only really see her through Inez's eyes so we don't know much else about her, but it's important to me that she is both soft and intelligent. That intelligence doesn't mean she has a secret sharpness to her at all, she's soft and kind because she's smart, she sees people truly and she loves them! It's not focused on too much, I'd like to focus on it more actually, but I think she's very good at reading people and she sees through Inez immediately.

"As far as Inez knew she worked at the library now, keeping to herself as she had always done. As Inez, in their last year at high school, had caused her to do." It's a weird little relationship also because Inez, even though she insists she isn't, is clearly still guilty about the rumours she spread about August and James, and that's mostly I think because of how much she recognises that August was and is lonely.

"There is a magnetism in lost little girls, a needle that points them to others with the same scars, with no one to turn them into beautiful designs. And girls can be cruel, but women can be kind." I think this is also a lot of the point, that they've all grown up. The love triangle is messy and extremely teenage, but they're adults here, and especially in the second one, they're able to move on from teenage drama, no matter how important that is. It's not a very overt idea, but it's definitely important to me in it.

"Inez stood nonplussed in her doorframe, not really understanding why her friend wanted to do something for a woman who had clearly never liked either of them." To contrast August, I wanted Inez to genuinely have very little empathy, and not much emotional intelligence. She can be a very sympathetic and kind person! she is! but she's awkward about it, and it doesn't come naturally to her, it's part of growing up.

"Her house was pretty, quaint some would call it, painted all in pastels and filled with succulents and knitwear." Betty was obviously the popular girl in school and I feel like she's still quite in fashion, but also a bit grandma-y. Don't ask why I just feel it.

I spent a lot of time deciding what hymn/carol they should sing, but I settle on O Come O Come because I love it, but also because it's not about being in a good place yet, but in praying for a good place from a bad one? so obviously Betty is still unhappy but maybe she won't, it says, but also I feel like so much of Inez's story in these two stories is about trying, she is really trying to be good but she still doesn't think she is, and I think the idea of a prayer from exile fits that feeling of being trapped by her bad nature but wishing for a better one.

Also, very very important that kindness can be millitant, because really Inez is always going to be harsh and angry! but that doesn't have to be fighting against kindness, it can be part of it!!!

Sorry this took so long, and thank you for asking I love them so much!!!

#ask games #directors cut ask

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mangadumpingground · 3 years

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Now some background information on our two favorite girls:

Kurosawa Yurine

In the same class as Ayaka, she is a "genius" in a nutshell. Nobody can beat her and she usually spends her time sleeping. Yet one day, after Ayaka has helped her open herself a tiny bit, she falls in love and becomes obsessed with her, thinking she has found the one person who can best her.

The Ace: She is good at everything she does, be it in studies, sports, or even art. But since she succeeds at everything without even trying, she can't get invested in anything.

Animal Motifs: During her more excitable moments, she's drawn with dog ears.

Asleep in Class: Her default mode. If she's ever seen awake during class, it's because the teacher woke her up.

Caring Gardener: Her increasingly genuine interest in gardening parallels her growing sociability as the series progresses. She starts as an isolated girl who joined the gardening club more or less out of obligation, to a caring senpai who's willing to make friends and tries to make the gardening club prosper again. By the end of the series, she decides that she wants to become a florist.

Character Development: She has gained quite a few social skill points since the beginning of the series, and has become slightly less fixated on Ayaka alone (although she's still her main motivation). She even decides to join a club eventually. Chapter 22-23 is an important step, as for the first time, Yurine tries to interact with Ayaka not as a "rival" or a one-sided crush, but as someone she genuinely cares and worries for, giving her words of comfort that would have been unthinkable at the start of the series. Volume 7, being mostly from her point of view, emphasizes how much more fulfilling her life has become since she met Ayaka… and how much Ayaka, on the other hand, is still stuck in a state of mind not unlike that of the early Yurine.

Cool Big Sis: Sumire sees her as this, and well, she has reasons to.

Covert Pervert: She may not show it all the time, but in addition to their competition, she's also definitely curious of Ayaka's body.

Deuteragonist: She's as much of a protagonist as Ayaka, as a good chunk of the chapters about their relationship are from her own point of view. Her Character Development is also somewhat more noticeable than Ayaka's.

Ditzy Genius: Sure she can ace any test and learn at the speed of light, but that doesn't prevent her from occasionally being strangely clueless or taking odd actions − like trying to catch a paper stuck in a tree, even though it's obviously out of her reach and she's sitting on the second floor window.

Friendless Background: According to herself. In the first chapter, Chiharu notes that her excess of ability makes her hard to approach, and she is pretty distant herself. Though meeting Ayaka, Mizuki and Ai helped her open up it seems.

Green-Eyed Monster: Downplayed but clearly played straight. Yurine envies/admires Ayaka because she has a "role" in their school (see I Just Want to Have Friends below), and participates in life to a degree that Yurine can't.

Heavy Sleeper: Because she feels like she has nothing better to do than sleep, as she considers herself a bother for other people.

I Just Want to Be Normal: She's sick of people praising, relying on or being jealous of her because of her talent. All she wants is to find someone who will make her feel like an ordinary girl, and Ayaka is that person.

I Just Want to Have Friends: Played with. She wants to belong somewhere, but is too dismissive of (or possibly disillusioned from past experiences with) people to engage with them.

Innocently Insensitive: She's so apathetic about talking to anyone, for any reason, that she comes off as rude. By the end of volume 7, she has thankfully improved quite a bit in this department.

Insufferable Genius: Has shades of this when she rubs Ayaka's "no.2" ranking in her face just to piss her off.

Lonely at the Top: And one reason she falls in love with Ayaka is that, finally, someone seems to be able to (eventually) best her.

Luminescent Blush: In chapter 35, she sports this when Ayaka holds her hand (because Yurine forgot her gloves); and later, for the first time her teasing backfires as Ayaka's (supposedly reluctant) kiss completely makes her lose her composure.

Mood-Swinger: Usually aloof and bored, but whenever she is with Ayaka, she can go from euphoric to teasing to pouty to Cloud Cuckoolander, all in an instant. In any case, she is clearly in heaven just by being with her.

No Social Skills: Generally ignores people, doesn't censor her speech, often intrudes on Ayaka's personal space, etc. As of chapter 22, she's improved with regard to the latter.

Photographic Memory: Implied, as she can memorize an entire textbook page with one casual reading.

Too Much Information: She ogles Ayaka. We know this because she tells her.

The Gadfly: An expert at rubbing Ayaka the wrong way.

The Tease: She takes an intense delight in playing with Ayaka, often physically. It can go quite far, yet the latter shows surprisingly little resistance to it.

Single-Target Sexuality: She has eyes only for Ayaka and only seems to feel any kind of satisfaction when she is at her side. Though chapter 11 subverts this when Ayaka tells her that in the end, she would just love anyone who can beat her. Yurine's answer is that it might be true, to Ayaka's shock. Afterwards she herself starts to worry that her feelings for Ayaka may not go further than that.

"Shut Up" Kiss: Gives one to Ayaka in chapter 12, when the latter warns her that her club activities might detract her from the tests.

Supreme Chef: Par for the course. So supreme that she can cook while sleeping.

Took a Level in Kindness: Through her interactions with Ayaka, Ai, and the gardening club, she becomes considerably less of a jerk over time, although she still has her occasional bouts of teasing.

Shiramine Ayaka

A self-proclaimed "model student", she is obsessed with being the first at everything and thus sees her world turned upside-down when Yurine appears in high school.

Aggressive Submissive: Kind of. For all her defiance, Yurine can play her like a harp when she's in a flirtatious mood.

Armor-Piercing Question: She gives one to Yurine in chapter 11, but she's the one hit hard by Yurine's laconic answer.Ayaka: You say I'm special to you but… in the end, you would like anyone able to beat you, wouldn't you?" Yurine: *Beat*… You may be right.

Belligerent Sexual Tension: Not belligerent on Yurine's side, but on hers, definitely.

Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Subverted. When she's alone with people close to her like Mizuki or (though she hates to admit it) Yurine, she's quite aggressive and stubborn. But that doesn't mean the kindness and helpfulness she shows towards her classmates isn't genuine. The few times she has a supporting role in another girl's arc (mostly in volume 8 with Hikari and 9 with Mikaze), she appears much friendlier than when she's the focus.

Character Development: Chapter 15 shows that she has largely gotten used to Yurine's presence and has become somewhat more conscious and accepting of her sweet side. In any case she doesn't reject her as strongly as early on. Continued in chapter 23 where she lets Yurine spend the night with her on the beach, whispering what seems to be a "thank you" and kissing her forehead. At that point, while she still wants to defeat her, she no longer shows any desperation or anger about it. By chapter 40, her motivation has shifted from wanting to defeat Yurine so that she can forget about her to wanting to defeat her so that she can admit her own feelings to her.

Class Representative: Unsurprisingly, she seems to be this (at least in role).

Determinator: She will not give up until she has gotten her first place back from Yurine, and won't allow Yurine to give up either. By chapter 35 it actually has become a double-edge sword in their relationship: she refuses to bond with Yurine further as long as she hasn't defeated her, but at the same time she won't acknowledge any bond with her beyond their competition (despite obviously showing that she cares for her). This is the opposite situation from chapter 11 mentioned above, in a way.

Expressive Hair: Mostly in the early chapters, where they tended to float around a lot. It became more straight and static as the art got somewhat cleaner around volume 5.

Go-Getter Girl: Ayaka sees it as absolutely imperative to be the best at absolutely everything.

Good Angel, Bad Angel: Subverted, as their roles are reversed. The good angel tells her to focus on being the best and reject Yurine at all costs; the bad angel tells her that Yurine isn't a bad person and that there's nothing wrong with being friends with her.

Hidden Buxom: She turns out to be far more busty than she seems in her uniform. She's apparently a D-cup according to Yurine.

Not So Different: It's not as immediately obvious as with Yurine, being the School Idol and helping various people around at school, but as we go on it's increasingly clear that she doesn't have any actual friends either. Mizuki even sarcastically points it out in chapter 18.In another sense, during Ayaka's Heroic BSoD she acts antisocial and listless, much like Yurine's default state. Again, this is pointed out by Yurine herself (who had some Character Development in the meantime) in chapter 35.

Out of Focus: Despite technically being a protagonist, there are actually very few chapters from her point of view (if you don't count the extras). Chapter 1 and 2, chapter 11, half of chapter 15, chapter 22-23, chapter 40 and that's pretty much it; in other chapters she only appears for a few pages, if at all, and volume 7 is primarily centered on Yurine with Ayaka in a supporting role. It doesn't help that, rather ironically, Ayaka almost only interacts with Yurine (and sometimes Mizuki) while Yurine herself intervenes in other characters' arcs. This only changes in the last two volumes, where she briefly gives advice to Mikaze in volume 9 and finally gets full focus in volume 10.

School Idol: And that's her pride, even if Yurine is no.1 in grades.

Second Place Is for Losers: She does not take losing to Yurine by three points lightly.Mizuki: Why does it bother you so much to be second? It's awesome. Ayaka: Yeah, for someone like you who is around the 150th place, being first or second probably doesn't make much of a difference!

Smart People Wear Glasses: She occasionally sports these when studying.

Tareme Eyes: Art Evolution made her distinctively drooping eyes more prominent, making her look somewhat less aggressive in later volumes. It might also serve to outline her bad eyesight.

Tsundere: While she usually shows an admirable façade at school, she shows a more aggressive side when alone with Mizuki, and completely loses her composure when it comes to Yurine. She can admit she is awesome and can't help but look at her constantly, but refuses to acknowledge that she's attracted to her. Made more amusing by the fact that even Yurine herself can see it. Interestingly though, that dynamic starts to be reversed in volume 7-8, where Yurine is now the one losing her composure while Ayaka calmly listens to her worries.

Well Done Daughter Girl: Implied in a flash-back, where her mother scolds her because she got "only" 95/100 at a test, while Mizuki's mother praises her for getting an 88. And confirmed in chapter 22 where Ayaka breaks down under the pressure and decides to say "screw that, I no longer care if I'm not the best".

Workaholic: She will study to death and work harder than any student, but she admits than she doesn't really have a precise goal beyond "being no. 1". This seems to come at least partly from her mother's overly high expectations.

#kiss and white lily for my dearest girl

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wordsmithkyra · 3 years

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Severed

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: Major Character Death

Category: F/F

Fandoms: Avatar: The Last Airbender Avatar: Legend of Korra RoK 'em SoK 'em

Relationship: Kyoshi/Rangi (Avatar)

Characters: Kyoshi (Avatar) Rangi (Avatar)

Additional Tags: Afterlife Spirit World (Avatar) slight angst & a little bit of fluff Ficlet

Language: English

Series: ← Previous Work Part 2 of the Kyoshi's Afterlife series

Stats: Published: 2021-06-16 Words:699 Chapters:1/1

Summary:What happened to Kyoshi's spirit after Unalaq/Vaatu killed Raava.

LINK↑ OR↓

Notes:

It's been too long since I've done an on-a-whim ficlet. Enjoy. <3

Unalaq hits the light spirit with a torrent of water. She diminishes, & the connection to Aang is severed.

He strikes again, disconnecting Roku.

Again.

_╲\│/╱_

Kyoshi's spirit manifests. For once, she doesn't know what the current Avatar's question will be. It leaves her curious.

"Avatar Korra." she says in greeting, opening her eyes.

No one is there.

There's no Korra.

Kyoshi looks around, quickly realizing she's in the Spirit World.

Odd.

She's in a cave. Or spirit-cave, maybe? It's dark. It feels lonely. & it seems to be growing.

There isn't any noise whatsoever. Not even the sounds of her pulse or her breath, seeing as she's dead. It's maddening.

As the cavern grows & the light diminishes, Kyoshi takes stock of herself.

She feels alone. Stranded. A fragment of herself.

She can't feel Korra. Or Roku. Or Kuruk, or Aang, or even the Avatar spirit itself.

For the first time ever, Kyoshi is truly & utterly alone.

It's terrifying.

She needs someone here. No; she needs to be somewhere else. She needs a person who can help. Who can make her feel whole.

She needs another part of her soul.

Kyoshi curls into herself.

"Kyoshi?" A gravelly voice says in the darkness.

She looks up, cautiously optimistic.

A face slowly emerges from shadow. Soft lines juxtaposed with sharp, bronze eyes. The spirit's brow is furrowed in confusion. It's lip in a slight pout.

"Rangi?" Kyoshi says in a voice she hadn't heard in several hundred years. The voice of an orphan girl, dehydrated, hungry. & alone.

"Yes." The woman replies in a soft voice. She smiles that way she did when they first found Koko, back in that dirty alleyway. The way she had let the child know she was safe & wanted to help.

Kyoshi misses Koko like nothing else, but that's nothing new.

"How are you here?" The Avatar asks.

"I should ask the same of you."

Kyoshi shrugs. She chews on the loose skin flaking off her lips. "I don't know." She starts to cry. "I'm supposed to be with Korra, but I can't feel her. Can't feel anyone."

"Ok." Rangi says, clearly confused by the implication. She sits down & pulls child-Kyoshi onto her lap.

The girl immediately buries her face in Rangi's chest, tightly gripping the fabric of her robes.

She misses Kelsang too. Maybe Jinora can visit her now, if Rangi can.

_╲\│/╱_

"What do you think it means?" Rangi asks when Kyoshi finally seems to have calmed down.

A long pause. "That there's not an Avatar anymore."

Rangi tenses up, pulling the girl closer. "So, what do we do about that?"

Kyoshi leaned back to look her in the eye. She's surprised to find that she's now looking downward, having taken on the form she had used when communicating with subsequent Avatars. Her outfit is different, however. No chain mail, no makeup. No scars.

"I don't know. I don't think there's anything we can do. It's up to Korra now, if it's not already too late."

Rangi, surprisingly, smiles at that. "You finally learned how to delegate. How many lifetimes did it take after I passed?"

Kyoshi chuckles. "It took until Roku was in his thirties."

"Who's Roku?"

"The Avatar who succeeded me."

Rangi laughs properly at that. "I think you're long overdue for a break."

Kyoshi just grunts, still not quite able to agree, but willing enough to comply. She has always been the Avatar. She was always going to be the Avatar. Just a tool for the next four, then barely remembered.

She doesn't know how to stop.

"Hey." Rangi says, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Hm?"

Rangi kisses her. It's odd as a spirit, not really having a body. But the connection feels stronger, somehow. It feels like their souls merge.

It begins to fill up the emptiness left by Unalaq & Vaatu.

When they pull away, Kyoshi notices that the cave has changed. Light filters in on rays of sunshine. The brackish pool she was barely able to make out has been replaced by a crystal clear pond. Small, glowing mushrooms of varying colors have sprouted all over.

The isolation is no longer overbearing. It's intimate.

"So," Rangi says. "Do you want to see Koko?"

Notes:

I took the "Jinora is Gyatso's reincarnation" popular head-canon a step further with Kelsang.

So, it would go: Kelsang→???→Gyatso→Momo→?→Jinora

#ao3 #fanfic #atla #a:tla #the rise of kyoshi #the shadow of kyoshi #RoK 'em SoK 'em #legend of korra #trok #kyoshi #rangi #rangshi

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