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woso-dreamzzz · 3 months

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Icy

Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Teen!Reader

Summary: Ingrid gets angry

You break your wrist the day Mapi does her meniscus.

You're just playing around when it happens. Mapi's got you on her shoulders, despite Ingrid yelling at you to get the hell off, when she takes a misstep. She yelps loudly, drawing everyone's attention, and crumbles to the ground.

You're thrown across the grass of the pitch and skid. It knocks the wind out of you and you can hear the snap of your wrist when it hits the grass, bent at a weird angle.

It throbs and tears spring to your eyes but you don't think of anything but Mapi and practically crawl your way towards her.

Ingrid's already there though and she fixes with the iciest glare she can manage.

You freeze.

Ingrid's got a cold kind of anger that festers beneath the surface. It's very scary and you've never been on the receiving end of it before. It's like a bolt of lightning is shot down your back and you freeze, drawing your limp wrist into your body.

She turns back to soothing Mapi and you stay where you are.

It's clear that she doesn't want you to approach, clear that she's angry with you so you sit frozen on the grass.

Her glare is scary and she's mouthing something at you. You can't really make it out but it's something along the lines of staying the fuck where you are because you've already done enough.

Mapi rolls around in pain, slapping the ground so she doesn't scream and the medics come running on.

Most of them go to her but one comes to you.

He reaches for your wrist.

You pull away.

"Mapi," You croak out," Mapi."

"She's going to be just fine," He promises you," But you need to let me take a look at that wrist."

"No." You shake your head, desperately trying to peak over his shoulder to see Mapi.

Ingrid is standing up now, looking around like Mapi's personal guard dog. Her eyes rest on you and they narrow. You look away before she can say anything again.

She's angry at you, you know this, and you try to think of whose house you'll have to sleep at tonight. You live with Ingrid and Mapi but you don't think either of them will want you around tonight.

You yelp when the medic moves your wrist, instantly tearing it from his grip.

He grimaces and you freeze.

"What? What is it?"

"I'm sorry."

"Why? No, what is it?"

"Have you looked at your wrist, y/n?" He asks.

You shake your head. "No...Mapi-"

"I need some bandages!" He yells out to the others. He glances at you. "And probably a green whistle too."

It's funny, you think. You barely felt any pain when you were focused on Mapi and pumped with adrenaline. Now that you're looking at your injury, you feel the blood rush from your face.

Your bone is sticking out of your skin. Your stomach rolls as the pain hits you in full force. You're pretty good with injuries. You're not squeamish or anything but the sight of your bone poking out makes you turn and throw up all over the grass.

You feel so incredibly sick and disorientated that you barely notice Mapi demanding Ingrid tell her what's wrong with you. Ingrid's looking at you again. No longer is there an icy look in her eyes but genuine horror instead.

You're completely out of it as the medic tries to stabilise your wrist without agitating your bone. Someone sticks a green whistle into your mouth and you suck down hard.

Your eyes are all glazed over as you watch Mapi be placed onto a stretcher. Ingrid walks with her but keeps looking back at you. She drops Mapi's hand and moves towards you but you think you flinch away when she does so and one of the older girls (Marta or Paredes, maybe) pushes Ingrid away to follow after her girlfriend.

Unlike Mapi, who is wheeled to the physios to get scans, you're brought straight to the hospital and taken into surgery.

By the time you wake up, it's already dark out and there's someone holding your non-injured hand.

"Hey," Mapi says softly," You're looking rough."

You blink groggily at her. "How's your leg? Is it a..."

You don't want to say those three letters but Mapi just shakes her head.

"Meniscus," Is her answer," I'll be alright though. Just a little surgery in a few days."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Ingrid thinks it is. She got really scary."

"She's sorry too," Mapi says," She knows how she reacted was wrong and she's getting you ice cream right now."

You're not too convinced but you don't want to argue with Mapi so you lift up your arm. You've got a cast around your wrist and you gather they doped you up on painkillers because it doesn't even twinge.

"It was a nasty break," Mapi says," Snapped part of your radius which then pushed your ulna out through your skin. It was gnarly." She pats you soothingly. "But you'll heal up in no time. We can be rehab buddies together."

That brings a smile to your face but it drops the moment Ingrid comes through the door.

You bottom lip wobbles. "I'm sorry." You hate how you sound so pathetic and broken.

Ingrid shakes her head and takes a seat next to you. "No, I'm sorry," She says," I shouldn't have treated you like that no matter how worried I was about Mapi. I'm very, very sorry."

You offer her a weak smile. "Does this mean I can still stay in the spare room?"

"Spare room?" Ingrid laughs," That's been your room for nearly a year now. You're not going anywhere."

#woso x reader #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon #ingrid engen x reader #ingrid engen #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso

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earthtooz · 2 years

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she/her pronouns cuz i'm feelin it. just gojo lovin' his partner.

"if you're going to ask for dating tips from anyone, don't let it be gojo," megumi mutters.

itadori raises his eyebrows in genuine surprise at his classmate's comment, "why? he and y/n have been together for years!"

megumi places down his bottle, grabbing his sword which he put down after gojo called an impromptu break from combat. why was that? well, it's because he saw you walking towards him and decided nothing else was more important.

the duo watches as you approach their teacher in the middle of jujutsu high's expansive field, gojo's mood turning even chirpier with your arrival. there's nothing short of a big grin on your expression too, but it drops the moment the white-haired sorcerer places dramatic, unabashed kisses all over your face. the way his arms wrap around you is a telltale sign of the copious amount of love he holds for you.

megumi sighs at the sight he knows all too well- there's no room to be disgusted anymore, "he got lucky."

"that's a little harsh, fushiguro," nobara pipes in from the other side of the dark-haired who merely shrugs, "although in retrospect, it is unbelievable that someone like him landed someone as amazing as y/n."

itadori cuts in momentarily, "i guess it's cause our teacher has game, don't disrespect him."

"he begged y/n to go on a date with him for multiple consecutive years. i remember he ended up on his knees when she finally agreed."

nobara hummed, "that makes sense."

the first years couldn't hear what you were saying but they could definitely see the way you were currently scolding gojo (jokingly?) and the way he held onto your every word. he says something that gets you flustered and without another moment wasted, you leave him behind to go up to the first years.

gojo trails behind you, taking his place behind you with his arm around your waist.

"y/n!" itadori greets enthusiastically, "hello!"

the three wave at you.

"hi yuji, megumi, nobara, what's up?" you ask with a polite smile.

"we're in the middle of combat training but gojo," nobara says, stressing her teacher's name with a pointed tone, "got distracted."

with an apologetic look, you murmur, "that's my bad, sorry. i'll let you get back to training-"

"actually, i was hoping for some combat tips from you," megumi interrupts.

"me too!" nobara exclaims, a glimmer in her eyes that only seems to manifest when you're the one that's teaching her. that fact definitely doesn't hurt gojo.

the special grade sorcerer sighs, "go ahead, just steal my students like you did with my heart."

you laugh lightly, "sorry 'toru, i'll cook your favourite tonight, 'kay?"

he nods, absolutely enchanted by you, "m'kay."

itadori remains silent whilst gojo watches you walking away, going over to the two younger sorcerers instead.

"what bliss," sighs gojo.

"how did you get y/n to date you?"

"oh, i still can't believe i got the first date!" gojo exclaims, a little too happily for the words he just confessed, "let alone eight years!"

"eight? weren't you classmates before that too?"

"yup, been lovin' y/n since second year!"

itadori takes another moment to examine how awestruck his teacher is whilst watching you guide megumi and nobara, somehow knowing their cursed techniques better than they do. he wonders if he should have gone with you too.

"that's kinda sad."

"yeah, but i don't think i have anything to be upset about. she could kick my ass."

itadori glances at his teacher with a confused expression, "but she has before."

"exactly!"

hi hi if u enjoyed that pls pls PLS reblog!!!!!!!!! it seriously helps me out so much (this applies to other blogs too just PLEASE, it doesn't matter if you're a small or big account, reblogging really helps out!)

hope to see u around my blog <3

- earf

#gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojou x reader #gojo x reader fluff #gojo satoru x reader fluff #gojou satoru x reader fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff

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loveofdetail · 9 months

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Let's talk about Gale's sex scenes

I love the astral sex scene and it means so much to me, and I have some problems with the way I've seen it talked about.

I should start by saying this post is not intended to critique anybody's personal preferences. The license to do Whatever The Fuck in an rpg is sacrosanct and there are no wrong choices. But I’ve also seen people imply that the astral scene is not “real” sex, or that Gale romancers “deserved more.” I hope I do not have to explain why that's kinda fucked.

Additionally, I think it is a saddening misread to call the astral scene “performative” in contrast to the bed scene (which gets correspondingly framed as “showing Gale that you want the real him.”) But doing a grandiose magical gesture IS the real him!

I know I'm not alone in viewing Gale as autistic; for me the astral sex scene is a big contributor to that. For one thing, it resonates with the concept of having unusual sensory wants. For another, it reads to me as Gale opening up and showing his passion for magic to the PC in a way he’s never been able to with another mortal before. What neurodivergent person has not had someone view their passion as too weird or too over the top? Have you ever been at a level of enthusiasm that wraps back around into seeming “performative” to others? Ever wanted to show a loved one something that matters to you, but worried they’d never understand—or, worse, they’d actively cringe?

In the astral sex scene, Gale shows the PC how much he loves the Weave (which is not the same as loving Mystra), and the PC does not cringe.

If all the glowing merging translucent bodies, the nebulae, the multiplying limbs, the spinning, the trippiness, the celestial music—if all these trappings made you, the player, cringe: there is nothing wrong with that. But I do think it is a misread to say that the bed version constitutes “helping him heal from his trauma.”

Maybe I have a hair-trigger for anything that implies “becoming more sexually normative = character growth.” Or “vanilla sex = a more intimate connection.” But they are just such tiresome concepts.

I understand that some of the dialogue in the game also suggests that idea, but all that dialogue is coming from the PC. What Gale says is that having bodily sex is “a small gesture toward your comfort.” This has been widely glossed over, imo.

Ultimately the two versions of this scene fulfill two different narrative functions: the bed version is to show the player that Gale will set these wants aside for you should you ask him to. But the astral version is there to show the player who HE is and what HE wants. And I think it is sad to write off this beautiful, lovingly crafted, unique and creative approach to a sex scene as merely something “performative” that he only does because Mystra made him think he had to.

“Stay with me now. There are endless worlds out there. Countless ways to declare love. Infinite ways to express it. Too much for one night... but we shall try.” I've admittedly got a ways to go in the game, but so far this is my single favorite line of dialogue. I genuinely don't understand how people can hear this line, the way it’s acted, and think it's just for show. He knows he's about to get weird but he longingly, vulnerably asks you to stay there in his weirdness with him.

Many writers, when they are writing something kinda out there, have doubts of the form Who is this even for? If the astral scene just isn’t for you I don't have beef with that. But the people who saw the astral sex scene and went "Oh, my god, now THIS is FOR ME"—are perhaps people who only very rarely get to watch a sex scene and have that reaction.

I'm glad Baldur's Gate brought something this beautiful to this particular table and I think it deserves consideration as a serious element of Gale’s characterization.

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 meta #the promised essay #i made a very rabid shitposty untagged version of this earlier #and i think it upset a few people #this version is a better representation of my reflections #verbose bitch romances the party wizard news at 11 #wizardsexual #long post

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beevean · 8 months

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I can't stop thinking about this morning's anon and some of their wording. "This was so scary to write because if any of my friends knew about this my life would be over".

It's short but I honestly felt so bad for them. They really don't need this on top of their other experiences. And what's worse, this is the common mentality now: I keep seeing, on Twitter and Tiktok screenshots, teenagers who genuinely ask if a ship they like is "proship", with the underlying message being "please don't bully me".

And listen to me. I am the most insecure bitch on the planet. I would literally eat my own hands with ketchup and mayonnaise rather than reveal my music tastes to other people. I've been endlessly mocked for my passions ever since I was a child - not bullied, but I've been told by parents and classmates that no one cares, or I'm too old for this, or I need to live in the modern world... long story short, to this day I do not want to be perceived. So I understand the feeling of "you will pry my true tastes from my cold dead hands". I am old enough to know these are irrational thoughts, but to this day I much prefer to keep things to myself.

So listen: you deserve friends who do not judge you.

Again:

You deserve friends who do not judge you.

It's one thing to prefer to keep your tastes private because you're a private person. That's fine! That is your right! But please, if you really think your friends will hate you because you happen to read Problematic™ fiction... no, that shouldn't happen. Especially not on the internet, where nobody should know about you as a person. Friends who do care about you would not think any less of you for something as common (yes it's common!) as enjoying some spicy stories. It is not a crime. It does not say anything about your morals. And it's even worse if you've already suffered in the past, but this goes for everyone.

I don't want to get into the whole pro/anti ship discourse because I am sick of how easily the internet twists the meaning of important words until discussions can't be had because the two factions are not even talking about the same thing anymore. I don't know anon's previous or current stance on shipping, what they meant by that comment, and again the wording worries me a little when combined with that other comment. I do have my thoughts about it that go beyond what "proship" means, and I'll summarize:

not only no one deserves harassment for what they ship, but the only thing you can judge from someone's writing is their writing level. Not their actual personality, not their experiences, and less of all their real-life morals.

Brand this backwards on your forehead and read that in the mirror everytime you wake up.

Anyway. I don't know if you'll read this, anon, but I really wish you all the best luck in the future. And I'm very glad that you approached me to tell me that - as sad as the circumstances are, and I'm sorry for being self-aggrandizing, your praise made my day :)

#important #vent #proship #i suppose this counts #i really do not want to use myself as an example because as i said i don't want to expose myself #but i am so fucking tired of this relentless bullying over something that at the end of the day is barely above the pettiest of ship wars

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frantic-fiction · 2 months

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Hear me out… my TAV’s background is that she was a sex worker that was sold into the trade from a young age, and this has been her chance to break free, and she’s romancing Astarion and he’s the first person she slept with that she CHOSE to and WANTED to, and all I can think of is the “you were just a transaction” line he has… and maybe he says it to her because he freaks out and is scared of his feelings? Just something SO angsty, HEAVY groveling, happy ending??

My heart ugh you monster (I love you 🥰)

I don't write angst very often. This was incredibly fun and heartbreaking to write...and I might have gone a little too melodramatic with it. Hopefully this lives up to what you were imagining!!

Transaction

Astarion x gn!reader

Warnings: Angst with a slightly happy ending, implied that reader was a sex worker, if I missed anything major let me know

Word Count: 2k

Masterlist

Transaction.

Just a transaction.

You were just a transaction.

It's a bitter realization that hits you like a cold wave crashing over your very being. How naive of you to believe that someone could see beyond your body? To look deeper than sex and find all the quirks and vulnerabilities underneath. The person who savors the taste of sweet rolls and red wine, who secretly indulges in cheesy romance novels but would never admit it out loud. The person who was forced to do unspeakable things but still stands strong in this cruel world.

You thought he understood. After all the nights spent sharing your history, baring your soul, and listening to him bear his own, you dared to hope he would be different. How could you have been so blind, so naive, to succumb to the romantic fantasy of finding someone who saw and understood the scars you carried and loved you all the same?

How could he do this? The laughter you once shared under starlight and the kisses captured behind tent flaps all feel hollow all merely a performance to win you over for his benefit alone. How could you have been so blind to his true intentions? Was it the desperation for connection that clouded your judgment, or simply the yearning for love you so desperately craved?

The signs were there. Astarion's gradual withdrawal began after the events at Moonrise Towers. You convinced yourself it was merely that the group was finally back in the city. You hoped that a night alone together would help. But hope was a fragile illusion.

Instead of finding solace in each other's arms, you are standing on the precipice of your unraveling. Each word, each action, reinforces the painful truth that you were nothing more than a pawn in his game—a transaction to be exploited for his gain. And as you grapple with the emptiness gnawing at your chest, you can't help but wonder why you failed to see it coming.

"Hey, Soldier."

The voice breaks through the haze of your thoughts, pulling you back to the present moment. Blinking slowly, you find yourself in the dimly lit confines of an alleyway, the stench of decay mingling with the chill of the night air.

Moving like you're wading through water, you turn towards the voice. You stare blankly at Karlach, who kneels beside you with concern and caution as if approaching a frightened animal.

You sluggishly realize—you're the frightened animal.

Behind her stands Halsin, his attempt at a reassuring smile falling short in the face of your obvious distress.

"We were getting worried about you," Karlach murmurs, her usual cheer tempered by genuine concern.

"I'm sorry," you croak, your voice raw with emotion.

You don't remember when the tears began falling, but they nonetheless stain your cheeks.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Halsin assures, his voice a soothing balm to your battered soul.

Wrapped in a cloak infused with the scent of pine and honey-suckle, you allow yourself to be guided through the silent streets of Baldur's Gate, the passage of time seeming to have slipped through your fingers like grains of sand.

How long have you been lost in your despair?

"He, As—" you choke on his name, the pain of his betrayal still fresh in your heart.

"You don't have to explain anything. Not to us," Karlach interjects, her hand a steady anchor in the tumultuous sea of your emotions.

"Thank you," you whisper, gratefully.

The journey back to the Elfsong Tavern is a silent procession, your footsteps echoing in the empty streets as you grapple with the weight of your shattered reality. Once inside, you are ushered into a bed. Gale gives you a sleep draught while Shadowheart heals your shredded palms, which you didn't realize you injured in your dissociation. After that, you're left with a fleeting moment of peace.

No one mentions the absence of a familiar presence, but the void he left behind looms large in the silence that envelops you.

From his vantage point on the rooftops, Astarion watches as Tav is led back to the safety of the tavern. Their frail form is a stark reminder of the havoc he has wrought. Guilt gnaws at his insides, punishment for the pain he has inflicted upon the one person who saw past the facade he so meticulously crafted—the person who began to love him.

He feels sick to his stomach, the weight of his actions crushing him beneath its burden. With each passing moment, the memory of Tav's heartbroken expression sears into his mind, the irreparable damage he has caused.

Astarion wishes he could take back the venomous words that slipped from his lips and erase the pain etched upon Tav's face. He wishes he could confess the truth that lies buried beneath layers of deceit and self-preservation and admit the depth of his feelings without fear of rejection or abandonment. Pull them into his arms, kiss away the tears, and whisper all the love Tav deserves to hear.

But wishes hold little sway when your world is governed by fear.

You allow yourself one day to mourn, to grieve for the shattered illusions that once held sway over your heart. But with the dawn comes the realization that there is no room for weakness. You steel yourself against the pain, burying it deep beneath a facade of strength and determination. You still have a tadpole in your skull and a city to save.

The days blur into nights, a relentless cycle of action and exhaustion that leaves little room for introspection or regret. You throw yourself into the fray, tackling each challenge with a ferocity born of desperation and resolve.

Nights, however, offer no respite from the torment that threatens to consume you whole. In the darkness, when the world is shrouded in shadows and silence, the memories come rushing back with a vengeance.

Astarion's parting words echo in the recesses of your mind, a relentless refrain that serves as a painful reminder of your naive hopes. Despite the anger and betrayal simmering beneath the surface, you still hope Astarion's safe. Deep down, you still care for him.

It was another restless night. You were digging through your travel pack when a hesitant knock hit the sturdy wooden door of your room. It was late, but it was not unusual for Karlach or Shadowheart to pop in and check on you. Standing up, you stowed your pack away and moved to the door. Your socked feet padded against the wooden floor.

"Shouldn't you be asle—" The words die in your throat, and your stomach drops as you're faced with the man you've been trying to forget.

Astarion looked terrible. His hair was a frizzy mess, curls sticking out in unruly strands. He had dark purple circles under his eyes and hollow cheeks. His clothes–the same ones he left in–were covered in a splatter of mud and grime. At that moment, Astarion had never looked more like a corpse. Where had he been?

"Tav," his voice was a whisper, laden with sorrow that pierced through the still air.

The sound of your name on his lips was like a knife twisted in an old wound, reopening the fragile scare you hastily tried to heal over the last two weeks. You recoiled instinctively, the pain of his presence threatening to ruin you all over again. You couldn't afford to unravel not again, not when so many counted on you. With wide eyes brimming with unshed tears, you turned away to flee.

But Astarion's desperation refused to be ignored. His hand shaking with uncertainty, he reached to halt the closing door. "Wait! Please, Tav," he pleaded. "I know you owe me nothing, but I beg you, let me say this, and you'll never have to see me again."

Your throat tightened, a lump choking back the bitter retorts that threatened to spill out. The impulse claws at your conscience, tempting you. Yet, the crack of Astarion's voice, the tremor of vulnerability that seeps from him, holds your tongue.

With a heavy sigh, you relented, the door inching open just enough to meet his gaze. "Two minutes," you whispered.

Astarion's relief was palpable. "Gods, Tav, I'm so sorry," he began each syllable, a testament to the regret that weighed on him. "You can hate me for eternity, and I would deserve it. But I need you to know that every word I spoke to you was a lie."

A tear traces a path down his cheek, and you long to reach out and wipe it away—to soften the turmoil on his beautiful face and erase the sorrow that consumes his glistening eyes. But instead, you tighten your fist against your thigh and stare up at him blankly, waiting for him to continue.

"I need you to know that I pursued you instinctually because I needed someone on my side, someone to trust me," he continued his voice a fragile whisper against the silence. "But then you showed me love and happiness and became so much more. You were… you are… more than I deserve. And I hurt you, and I will carry that with me forever."

"Astarion," you began, the syllables catching in your throat, suffused with a longing you dared not acknowledge. But before you could find the words again, he spoke once more, voice quivering with regret.

"I love you, Tav," Astarion confessed, the words lingering in the silent room. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, but before I leave, I need you to know you are more than sex and safety. More than a Gods damn transaction."

"Astarion,"

"And I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for ruining the one good thing in—"

"Astarion!" You grab his arm, ceasing his frantic apology. You're stunned, standing on the threshold of your room, feeling more confused than ever. Love? How are you supposed to feel when the man who tore you apart is telling you he loves you?

Astarion's eyes widen in surprise, his breath catching in his throat as he meets your gaze. His eyes swim with a mix of hope and despair.

The weight of his confession presses down on you, threatening to suffocate. Wordlessly, you walk back into the room, leaving the door open for Astarion to follow. Collapsing onto a chair, you rub your face, struggling to make sense of your raging emotions. The heartbreak and betrayal are still so fresh, but the sincerity in Astarion's regret seems to chip away at your defense.

"I don't know what to say,"

"I… I understand," Astarion murmurs, his resignation soaking his words. I'll leave you be. I promise you won't see me again, Tav."

But as he turns to leave, the ache in your chest intensifies, the void he leaves behind widening with each step. And that moment, despite the pain, the betrayal, and your base instinct to shut him out entirely, you still care for him. Maybe even love him, too.

"Astarion, wait, you call out, the words tumbling from your lips before you can stop them. "Stay."

He freezes mid-step, his back turned to you, body tense with anticipation.

"Please," you plead, the word heavy with the weight of your conflicting emotions. "Just don't go."

Astarion slowly turns to face you, his expression a mix of disbelief and hope, his eye shining with more unshed tears. The silence stretches in the room. Hesitantly, with slow steps, he walks to the seat beside yours. The two of you sit there momentarily, unsure where that left you.

Tentatively, you reach out and take his cold hand into your warm one. "You hurt me," you start, not looking over at the man but feeling his intense stare. You betrayed my trust, and I can't just forget that."

"I understand." Astarion's shoulders slump in defeat. "I didn't expect…"

"But I care for you," You interrupt, squeezing his hand softly. "I haven't been able to stop worrying about you since you left. I don't think I can handle you leaving again."

"Okay," Astarion says, simply rubbing soothing circles into the back of your hand. "So what now?"

"I don't know, but I'm willing to figure it out if you are?"

"There is nothing I'd like more,” he responds, pressing a tentative kiss to your knuckles.

Taglist

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#astarion x reader #astarion x tav #bg3 astarion #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion imagine #bg3 #reader insert #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic #bg3 tav #baldur's gate #karlach #shadowheart #fanfic #frantic fiction

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loveforeren · 11 months

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I'm gonna fuck my love into you ➳❥ Eren x Reader

Jealous Eren I had my friend pick so I could write this.

Jealous!Eren heard from people every 2 seconds about what happened at yesterday's party. "Have you heard Y/N and Jean went upstairs alone together? They fucked for sure Y/N came down in different clothes." That was all he heard the whole day. You were throwing a small get-together of a few friends today so he was going to ask you about it after everyone left. He watches as Jean sits beside you and he clenched his jaw. His fist balls up tightly as Jean puts his hand on your thigh. Jealous!Eren looks away somehow maintaining his composure as Jean touches your body. That precious body of yours that he was ready to ruin.

"So what's up with you and horse face huh?" Eren asks keeping his eyes glued to his phone.

You turn to him, and laugh slightly thinking it was a joke. He's never had questions about anything like this.

"Why? You ain't cared about this before Eren." You questioned him.

"I want to know. E'vryone and they fucking mommas are talking about how you and Jean fucked. So I wanna hear it from you." He stated blankly.

"It's none of your buisness 'Ren. You've never cared why start now?" You say getting irritated by how seemingly fascinated he was for someone who never cared out this type of shit before.

Technically you were right you guys were just friends. For now. It wasn't his business but you not answering the damn questions was pissing him off.

"Nah stop that shit. I asked a fucking question, and I want an answer." He growled straightening his position to look at you as he glared with his green eyes which seemed to pierce into your soul.

"Fine, we fucked I don't know why your ass is trippin' over my shit." You say while staring into his green eyes.

You watch as his eyebrows knit together and he starts to frown. He turns his head away from you and pretended to go to his phone to make it seem as if he wasn't as mad as he was.

"Ion want you around him no more." He stated not caring to look back at you

"What the fuck? You are my best friend, not my boyfriend. Get that through your thick-ass skull. I don't know why your trippin' over some shit like this." You say now genuinely annoyed at Eren's newfound attitude.

You watch as Eren lets out a deep breath with what started to sound like a growl and you roll your eyes. The two of you sit in silence not saying a word to each other, but then you felt bad for the way you approached things so you sigh deciding to be the bigger person.

" 'Ren." You tap him on his shoulder trying to get his attention.

"Leave me alone bro." He uttered now sulking like a child.

Was this nigga serious? Was he really sulking over this shit when he's not even your man?

"I'm not your bro, and just fucking listen." You sigh getting agitated again because of his attitude which you felt was unneeded.

You tap his shoulder again but before you could call his name again you get pulled to him. His lips crash into yours as he kissed you roughly pulling you into his lap. You were going to pull away but his heat and his touch was something to die for. His hands wrapped around your waist tightly. Your body seemed to have a mind of its own, as you slowly grind against Eren, trying to get any type of friction through your clothes. He pulls away, and you see your lip gloss and whatever makeup was on your lips now smudged on his. You feel him lean forward and start to plant kisses along your jaw down to your neck.

"..'Ren..mm you know maybe you shouldn't-.." you say but is cut off.

"But Jean can?" He questioned staring at you intensely as if waiting for you to give him the okay to continue.

You sigh and give a small nod letting him know it was okay to continue. The second you nod his hands work to pull off your shirt. He pulls it over your head and then leans back slightly to get a view of your body. His hands slide down your side gently. He pulls you back into a kiss while his hands continued to work around your body.

" 'Ren calm down" you breathe out.

This was the first time Eren had ever touched you like this. There may have been little things like him wrapping his arms around your waist jokingly. It was jokingly or at least you thought it was...Now that you think about it he was really touchy. He'd put his hand on your thigh while he drove, he'd carry you to bed when you drank too much, and more stuff a boyfriend would do. You thought it was normal since he was your best friend..but now thinking about it he always seems extra attentive to you.

Eren's lips crash back into yours as you melt under his touch. He pushes your body onto the couch you're now under him, and his hands are clumsy messing with the button on your pants.

"Eren." You say catching your breath.

"What?" He asked as he finally got your pants off pulling them off in a quick motion.

"Why are you doing then all of a sudden?" You asked you felt as if you knew but you wanted to confirm.

"I refuse to let that bastard take you from me." He murmured.

Eren went and kisses your stomach gently his hands gripping your thighs. His fingers gently massaged your clothed clit. Your moans echoed through the small apartment. Your moans went straight to Eren's cock. His mind races, never in his life has he been this hard. Never in his life has he craved..no needed someone so bad. His lips kiss your thighs leaving mark after mark as he continued to massage your clit. Your moans and whines was enough to make him cum right then and there.

"Y/N.." he groaned lightly as he sucked and kissed your thighs.

His fingers move to the hem of your underwear as his eyes stay on your face. His fingers move from the hem, and he slowly slides them off of you throwing them not caring where they landed.

"You know how I fuckin' felt when I heard you fucked Jean," he growled.

His fingers slowly spread apart your warmth open. His lips going to clasp onto your clit while his fingers penetrated you. He lets out a delighted hum when he heard you gasp for pleasure. His fingers pumped into you causing you to become a moaning mess. Your walls clenched around his fingers earning a small groan that cause you to yelp almost from the sensation.

"..' Ren slow down" you managed to slur out amidst your moans.

His tongue continued to explore your needy and wet cunt. You squirm in his touch as your voice continued to echo around the room and make his dick unbearably hard. You feel his fingers leave you and you clench around nothing feeling empty.

"Why did you stop," you questioned even though it came out as a mumble he heard you.

"I'm going to fuck you until you realize just how much I fucking love you." He growled.

"Love me?" You questioned.

He didn't answer he simply slipped his pant slowly off, doing the same to his boxers. He grabbed your hips pulling you closer as his erect cock gently rubbed against you.

"Since you can't seem to feel how much I love you, I'm gonna fuck it into you," his hands rubbed your waist.

"How l-" Before you could finish your sentence you feel Eren's cock enter you quickly.

You gasped as he pounded into you. His hands gripped your waist tightly as you moan uncontrollably. You could barely hear because of how long you were but when you were able to listen you could hear Eren. His grunts and moans between him spewing out praises and possessive words.

"You feel so fuckin' good y'know that." Or "I want you to be mines and mines only ya hear me." Was all you could hear. You could practically feel his jealously ooze off of him.

One of his hands moved from your waist and squeezed your face pulling you into a feverish and sloppy kiss. You could hear him groan as he kissed you. His thrusts were deep and fast giving you little to no time to catch your breathe between screams.

"Do you know much I fuckin' love you now? Do you?" He questioned, his pace not slowing down.

"Y-yes- Fuck- right there please" You yelled out shamelessly.

His lips trailed across your neck sucking, licking, and kissing everywhere he could.

You were too engrossed in the pleasure that you didn't realize your phone was ringing.

'Jean'

Eren looked at the phone and his face turned into a scowl as he picked up the phone with no warning.

"She's fuckin' busy." He said making sure to go deep and fast earning screams and moans.

He hung up throwing the phone back over on the couch. His thrust was starting to get sloppy, and you were about to cum.

"..'Ren too Much- slow down" you yelped out.

"I Know take Ma, bare with me for a little longer." He mumbled.

You feel him stretching you out and pounding into you. It was so much..it was too much. You feel him put your hands over your head and he thrusts one last time. You felt the knot in your stomach snap. You felt him fill you up. He was so lucky you were on Plan B. He continues to fuck you through both his and your orgasm. He leans down still in you and lays his head on your chest.

"You know I love you so much? I'm tired of this best friend shit." He mumbled

Your hand went into his hair raking through it.

"Gimme a chance" He mumbled hugging you tightly.

"..we can try..I don't want our relationship to be ruined..you know how I can be.." you whisper quietly to him.

"I can deal with all parts of you..I love everything about you." He whispered back.

"..I love you too.." you whisper quietly.

You feel Eren let out a sigh of relief and you chuckled.

Eren and you had been friends for years. Looking back you always loved him. You just took time to realize how much you loved him.

"Thank god." He whispers before sitting up.

"..what are you doing?" You questioned.

"We're not done yet. I want to fuck my girlfriend. Maybe I'll fuck a baby into you." He said with a grin.

GAWD. I took forever to finish this bc I'm lazy. I have one more Eren fic to finish and a Miguel Lil snippet and a Jean fic so gimme a little yall. I'm trying

☆ MASTERLIST ☆

#loveforeren #aot #aot x reader #aot x y/n #aot x you #eren x y/n #eren jeager x y/n #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren jeager x reader #eren jeagar #eren yeager #eren smut #eren yeager smut #p

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silverbladexyz · 4 months

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TW: Mentions of death, injuries, self-loathing. Part 2 to this. Part 3 is here.

"I can't believe you sometimes. What if you had actually been killed because of your recklessness?!"

"But I wasn't! Even if combat isn't my strong suit, I had it all under control; and besides, these wounds are nothing compared to what we've faced before!"

In the normally tranquil environment of the Port Mafia's infirmary, two voices argued back and forth. One laced with worry and anger, the other laced with guilty adamance. A pair of best friends seemed to be the reason behind this noise; with their stubbornness a guise of the true feelings that they harboured for each other.

"Are you seriously kidding me right now? Even if you had it all under control, that doesn't mean you can gamble your life away like it's nothing! How do you think everyone would feel if you died? Do you want to put them through more pain and suffering that could've been prevented if you were more cautious? Do you even care?!"

"..."

Instead of replying, you turned away, suddenly finding the window to be more interesting than whatever was going on right now.

He was right. You didn't think properly about the consequences before you jumped straight in to engage with the enemy, even if you may have had a backup plan.

"... I'm sorry."

It was soft, but Chuuya managed to catch it.

He gave a small sigh, his shoulders dropping as the tension in them wore out. You fiddled with your bandages, not having the courage to look at him in the eyes. Did you even deserve to, afterall? When you worried him sick after he learnt that he almost lost you?

You heard his footsteps approaching you, and mentally prepared for the next thing that he was going to say.

Only for him to somewhat tug you into his arms.

Your eyes widened, and you blinked several times before realising that Chuuya Nakahara, your best friend, was hugging you.

His breath fanned against your collarbone as he buried his face into your shoulder. Strong arms held you close to him, being mindful of the injuries that you sustained on your body- yet the grip they held you in was tight but secure.

"... You idiot. Don't you dare do that again."

It was the most vulnerable you had ever seen him.

You hugged him back, inhaling his rich scent as an unknown heat bloomed in your chest.

"I won't. I promise, Chuuya."

His warmth never left your memories.

Now, you watched as he stood with her, holding her hand. They were too far away for you to make out their words, but whatever she said made Chuuya laugh. A genuine, happy laugh that seemed so much more different from the short chuckles he normally gave you.

He put his arm around her shoulder, and you unconsciously hugged your body as you felt yourself getting colder. It was the third of December- the start of another winter in Yokohama. Marking the six month anniversary of their relationship.

A wry smile made it's way on your face as Chuuya pulled Yasuko in for a kiss. Even though it was a short peck, it was enough to make your heart twist in longing that exemplified whenever you were around him. It was stupid; you knew that your best friend deserved to have someone much better than the monster you were, but it didn't stop you from wishing that you were her. Someone that was a sight for sore eyes, with an aura brighter than the blue skies- someone that could get Chuuya mesmerised.

You even noticed how he became slightly more distant in the friendship. You knew that he wasn't doing it on purpose; he was still the great best friend that he always was, but the little signs were there. Holding your hand so that you wouldn't get lost in the crowd had diminished to just staying close to you. Whenever you called him on a free day to ask if he wanted to hang out with you, he would apologise, saying 'I have a date with Yasuko later'. And the fact that you had the same free days really said something about how much they meant to him.

You walked away, the sight getting too much to handle. Once you were at a safe distance, you crumpled against a wall, biting down on the inside of your mouth to stop the tears from leaking out. A higher-ranking mafioso like you, crying over some crush? Pathetic. An unfitting model for your subordinates who looked up to you as a great unflinching leader.

"Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty." You chuckled bitterly, digging your nails into your palms. You hated it- the soft gaze in Chuuya's eyes whenever Yasuko was mentioned, the way that he gently held her hand, the way he became much more sweet and patient with her that was almost nothing like how he acted around you- you hated it all. You regretted not confessing to him sooner all those years ago.

But you were only the side character in their romance; forever doomed to support them while you suffered in silence.

Was there something or somebody that you could blame for this agony that you were currently in? Destiny, perhaps? Or even Cupid? Those names only made you scoff as you stuffed your hands into your pockets.

There was nobody you could blame except for yourself.

Perhaps it would have been better if you were the one who saved Yasuko, not Chuuya. They would have never spent as much time with each other, and you'd still have a chance at romancing him. None of this would have happened if the roles were reversed at that time.

But who were you kidding? One way or another, they’d end up together by the red string of fate. The most perfect match in all of Yokohama that could put every other couple to shame. And you'd always be the third wheel- the 'best friend' whose sacrifices went unseen just so that they could be happy.

Or maybe it would have been better if Yasuko didn't exist in the first place.

"-Y/N? Y/N?"

A voice broke you out of your thoughts, and you blinked a bit before refocusing onto the girl in front of you.

"Is everything okay? N-not that you have to tell me what's wrong, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll always be here for you."

Yasuko looked at you with a concerned expression, her eyes searching your face for any sign of discomfort.

Those innocent, beautiful eyes of hers that had held Chuuya captive in their gaze.

Ah, right. You were currently in the shopping mall with her, because her boyfriend had asked you to accompany her like some sort of bodyguard. And who were you to refuse, as his best friend who was always there for him? Well, you were grateful that Chuuya trusted you enough to let you near Yasuko. You had seen how protective he was of her.

"... Nothing. I'm alright."

You smiled at her, all traces of your previous emotions now gone. How could you have let your composure slip so easily? This hangout was so that you could 'get closer' with her, not reminiscing about the pathetic past that held you captive in this agonising love.

She frowned a little, but before she could say anything else, you jumped at the opportunity to distract her. Anything that could make you temporarily forget your pain for one moment was what you desperately needed now.

"Oh, looks like they're selling discounted jewellery! Let's take a look! You might find something that you like."

Grabbing her wrist, you dragged her towards the jewellery store despite having no intentions to buy anything. You simply wanted her to be distracted by the precious stones, so meticulously cut and fit into fine metal that it was laughable how they were mostly for show. A valuable trinket only made to be admired and forgotten at the end of the day, even when so much blood had been spilled over them. Blood that would forever stain the hands of a sinner such as you.

"Oh! I remember Chuuya taking me to a similiar store! He bought me a ring; I said that there was no need, but he insisted." Yasuko glanced down at the gold-and-red circlet that lay snugly around her index finger, her gaze becoming shyer as she profoundly remembered the day that her beloved boyfriend had bought it for her.

Your own silver ring that he gifted to you on your 18th birthday paled in comparison to the 5-carat Burmese ruby that sat atop her finger. It was a harsh reminder of who the buyer really preferred from between the two of you. That twisted feeling in your gut resurfaced, but you pushed it back down. You had no more frivolous hopes that he would one day realise you were the one whom he truly belonged with.

"Haha... did he now? I didn't know Chuuya was such a romantic. Did you know that rubies symbolise passionate and undying love?" You smiled as she blushed; the redness on her cheeks rivaling the shade of the precious gemstone that was proof of his commitment to her.

People were right when they said love hurts, but they never mentioned that it was the most painful sensation in the world. All the stab wounds and burns and whatnot that you had experienced from your enemies were nothing compared to a broken heart. A heart that was made to be torn apart to pieces as it weeps for the love it would never get.

Something cold brushed against your wrist, and you looked down to see a bracelet made up of the most exquisite yellow topaz. Yasuko held an identical one in her hand, her expression almost bashful as she faced you.

"I... I wanted to get matching bracelets for the two of us. I know it's only been a few months since we became friends, but being around you has really brightened up my life. I'm glad that we got to meet each other, and I hope that our friendship continues to grow and strengthen!"

She smiled at you; a smile so full of purity and beauty that it would've made many men fall onto her knees in front of her. It was a smile that didn't belong in the dark depths of Yokohama- instead, it belonged to a goddess that was too good for this world. A goddess that clearly deserved to call Nakahara Chuuya hers. Just seeing that smile made you feel infinitely more guilty about the nasty thoughts you had about her each night.

Yasuko's smile faded, worried that she might have overstepped your boundaries due to your silence.

"S-sorry... I should've asked you beforehand if you wanted to buy matching bracelets. Please don't force yourself to buy it just to make me happy-"

You shut her up by slipping it onto your right wrist, the topaz seeming to reflect the sun's golden rays back at you. Shooting her a smile, you grasped Yasuko's hand and put the other bracelet onto her left wrist joint. It fit nicely; just like anything else that she wore.

"May our friendship last until death do us part." It was a pact that you had sworn with Chuuya before. And you always kept your word, never breaking a promise to someone no matter how bizarre or extreme it was.

How unfortunate, really, that death did you apart too early.

@circinuus @riiwrites @ruanais @justcallmesakira @yasu-masashige @oldworldpoolhall @heartsfourdazai @ashthemadwriter-uwu @sariel626 @yuugen-benni @chocsra @iridescentdove

#silverbladexyz #no way did I just pull a Heather in my fic #it's a good song though #i hope this was okay #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x female reader #chuuya x gn reader #chuuya x fem!reader #part 2 of unrequited love fic #yellow topaz symbolises friendship btw #unrequited love

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missycolorful · 6 months

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The scene with q!Forever and q!Philza at Global spawn in Pugatory is something that will always kinda sit in the back of my head. Because it truly, truly solidifies the strength in their dynamic, and neither of them will probably realize it lol. Hello, I'm here to be insane about q!philever, so buckle up

Like everyone else, q!Phil was dealing with a lot in Purgatory. He began to lose trust in close friends. He wasn't sure he'd even be able to save his children. While trying to uphold his morality and not kill except in self-defense, he was very much walking a fine, jittery line. All while trying to keep his team organized and motivated. Aside from kind of losing his mind like the others, there was no clear indication that Phil's composure was dangling by a loose thread.

But then he's allowed a moment of peace to exchange information with another team. It's just him and Forever. No kills planned, nothing. Just two people allowed to talk about the absurd situation they've been thrown into. A moment to really take everything in.

During the conversation, Forever doesn't hold judgement toward Phil or anyone else due to the event, even when he comments on Philza's kill on Rivers. Even when Phil tries to justify his actions, Forever doesn't hold it against him. It's hard to say exactly how important this is to what happens next, but I feel like it means something here.

It's when q!Forever says that once they leave Global Spawn, that they become "enemies" again, this is when q!Philza breaks. And I think this moment has been glossed over by many (I want more fan art, dammit >:T) cause it doesn't feel big on the surface. It's not like cc!Philza genuinely sounds heartbroken, his cries sound... a little exaggerated/dramatic, you know? What he cries about isn't anything groundbreaking, it's what many of them feel ("I don't want to be here." "I don't want to kill my friends."), even though Phil fans can sense a deeper meaning here. And after Forever briefly consoles Philza ("Everything is going to be good. This is what we need to go through."), Phil, like a flick of a switch, is right back to his composed, level-headed self. It was like that moment never even happened.

But it did, and it drives me crazy that he did it in front of Forever. cc!Phil made that conscious choice to have his character lose composure, his character that he and his fans knows is an emotionally constipated motherfucker. And the reason it drives me nuts is because how the fuck did we get here?

I can imagine this scenario with lots of characters, and it never plays out like this (i.e. with Tubbo, he'd likely just keep it all in. Et cetra.). I don't see him letting himself be this vulnerable around most others. Hell, before this, I never would've imagined he'd do this in front of Forever, either.

But the more I think about it, it kinda makes sense.

Phil and Forever's relationship is a funny one. Early on, Phil wouldn't trust Forever with a toothpick. He'd never be emotionally open with him. Forever even held a bit of animosity toward Philza after Phil'a final rejection. But that rocky start is honestly a huge part of why it is as strong as it is now. Cause, well, the strength of any relationship comes from accepting all parts of a person. Flaws and all.

Some characters hold Philza up on a pedestal (i.e. q!Missa). They don't really see his flaws. They don't think about his ugly sides. They just see a pillar of a man who is always willing to help, who can do anything and everything, who keeps composed and lighthearted and level-headed in any scenario. q!Forever was kinda like this, at one point.

But Forever realizes that isn't the case eventually. Because Phil's not great at dealing with emotional situations, and Forever learns that the hard way. Phil's not good at talking about feelings, he can be blunt and a bit harsh, because he's a pragmatic sort of guy. But it takes a softer, gentle approach to reject someone, and Phil wasn't ready for that. So, in retaliation to the hurt Phil caused him, Forever had a conflicted relationship with him. It didn't last long, but I digress. This brief shift in their relationship was for the better. By not placing him on this pedestal anymore, Forever began to see Philza in a different light. One that didn't cast Brunim in its shadow.

With Philza, Phil saw Forever at, arguably, his worst in the beginning. Obsessive, threatening, clutching onto a pipe dream with no regard for Phil's feelings. But over time, Phil got to see the much more real sides of Forever. When Tallulah lost her first life, when Forever made NINHO. He saw a passionate and intelligent side to this guy who was obsessed with him, and he respected that person. And with this recognition, he offered his trust to Forever, such as giving one of his presidential votes to Forever.

Both of their perspectives for the other changed throughout the first few months, and I believe they gained some level of appreciation between them because of that. They share this newfound respect and trust. And that is the core to their new relationship. Consistently, Forever and Phil have given each other open and mutual respect and trust. Never is either of these things taken for granted, abused, or manipulated in any way.

When Forever is hooked on the happy pills, he subconsciously seeks out Philza's help, which Phil offers with ease. Before Forever goes to the Nether, Phil expresses his worry and wants to help. But he doesn't push, because he respects Forever's agency, and trusts that Forever is doing what he thinks is best. (also during this scene, when Forever gave him access to the warpstone in that secret part of his base, only Forever and Richas had access to it beforehand, which feels like a big moment according to his fans, so! :D). So when Forever returns to the Nether, while he doesn't believe Fit and Pierre when they say they tried to save him, he absolutely, 100% believes in Philza.

Because he knows Philza by now, and Philza knows Forever. Maybe not on equal levels, but still. After merely a few months, they've slowly begun to understand each other a bit more. So I guess it's only natural that they'd be more open around each other.

I'd even argue that this isn't the first time Philza lets down his walls around Forever. It just didn't happen when Forever was awake.

I wouldn't say that Phil talking to Forever while he was in a coma is the same level of vulnerability as the scene in Purgatory. Because Phil wasn't totally direct with his feelings, he sort of deflected (the story, banging the pots and pans, calling him an idiot, etc). Hell, even when he is expresses how he feels, he's not entirely direct: "We just really care about you. We wanna see you come back. You're making us worry." Like, of course everyone cares, but to say this as we when it's just the two of you obviously feels like a moment of vulnerability but not wanting to admit to it. Cause, hey, under different circumstances, he absolutely would've committed to visiting Forever in the hospital every day. Still, his very open worry did give off a sense that his walls were crumbling.

So with all of this, if Philza can meet with someone alone in practical hell, and that someone, a person he openly trusts and cares about, can look him in the eye and say "I don't judge you" on the things he's has done, maybe that allowed the floodgates to open for a bit. Maybe once Forever said they'd be enemies outside those doors, the situation hit Phil like a truck, and he just couldn't keep it in anymore. And maybe knowing it was just the two of them, Phil knew he could be a person around Forever, not a leader or a mentor or a force to be reckoned with. And Phil really needs someone on equal footing with him like this. He needs someone he can feel safe around. So for him to find this in Forever, of all people, even if it's just for this moment, is extremely important to me.

The way their relationship has progressed, perhaps it would've been simply a matter of time for Philza to be open with Forever. I dunno when Phil will be quite so open around Forever again, but I do say when with a fair enough of certainty (or I could be wrong and I'm simply talking straight outta my ass but who knows). Because to have this moment with Forever was intentional, even if it feels like a blink and you miss moment. It may have been under a minute, it may not feel important to other viewers. BUT to me, it genuinely says so much about their relationship, how far they have come, and where they are now.

#qsmp #qsmp meta #sugarduo #philever #philza #forever #missy rambles #or none of it means anything and this never gets brought up or anything like that again and phil is mocking us for our dramatics🤷#either way idc let me have fun i love these two so muchhhhhhhhh <3 #long post

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tarotwithavi · 1 year

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Letter from your shadow side

What does your shadow side wants to tell you?

Piles : 1-2-3

Masterlist

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How to choose a pile?

Take a deep breath and ask your spirit guides to show you the right pile for yourself. Open your eyes and the first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

Leave a note to support!

Pile 1

Dear me,

What do you need to release? Why are you still attracted to those situations/people when you know they are of no use? Why can't you move on? First you let people come to you then you trust them with all your heart and when they betray you, you cut yourself out even from the people who genuinely care for you. The problem is not others at this point, you need to change your mentality. Not everyone you meet is going to stay in your life forever. Not everyone you meet is good for you and not everyone you meet is bad for you. People come and go and you need to learn it. Why do you get so attached to people when you can clearly see their intentions. You need to find balance in life. You need to learn whom to trust and whom to not. Life is a mix of happiness and joy and sadness and betrayal. You fear change so much that you're prohibiting yourself from getting your blessings. Learn to accept change and learn how to move on.

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Pile 2

Dear me

Why do you get so triggered when someone points out your mistakes? Accept that you're human and human make mistakes. Forgive yourself for not being perfect because I know you're trying your best. Your putting on your best show to please others but what about yourself? You can't lie to yourself. You can fool others but you can't fool yourself. You need to be true to yourself. If you feel tired take a rest, if you feel like crying cry your heart out, if you feel neglected say it out loud. Don't hold your emotions inside or else you'll blast. Express yourself. Be your unapologetic self. You think differently that's why people can't understand you. People hate what they can't understand. You have big dreams and trust me you'll fulfill each of them , you just need to take a leap of faith. There's nothing wrong in being different. I know you feel as if your own family doesn't understand you but remember how would other know you when you don't know yourself? And I'm not talking about your fake self that you created for people, I'm talking about your true self.

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Pile 3

Dear me

Why do you so defensive when someone approaches you? Why can't you see how special you are? Why you do compare your current self to your past self? A lot have changed. I know your past isn't the best but you are not who you were few years ago. Just look at yourself and how much you have changed. So when someone compares you to your past self just think that person isn't anymore. And you are not that person. You need to have trust in yourself and trust the process. Everything will work out in your favour. Try to write out your feelings if you can't express them. Just write it out and burn it. You are already doing great. You are like a black cat. People call you bad luck but in reality you're nothing like that. You are the luckiest for yourself. You need to get in tune with your inner diva your inner child. Do the things you used to love as a child. Draw, paint, Dance and learn.

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#tarot reading #tarot cards #free readings #free tarot #pick a card #tarot #pick a pile #tarotblr #pick a picture #pac tarot #pick a crystal #pick a photo #tarotcommunity #tarotwithavi #tarot witch #tarot readings #oracle reading #shadow work

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natsgrave · 7 months

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PICK UP LINES | natasha romanoff

a/n: this is my first time posting and using tumblr, so i don't really know how this shit work, lol. also, i'm not good with summaries and english is not my first language, forgive me. i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime!! masterlist

Y/N'S POV I was looking at Natasha while she's talking to Bruce seriously, I was wondering if should I do the thing that I saw earlier. A couple exchanging some corny pick up lines. I've been hiding my feelings for her for like a year or two now. Well, what can I say? I'm not really a vocal person and she's very hard to approach.

A cold-hearted ex-assassin spy, how am I supposed to tell her that I'm in love with her? It's hard! She's hard to read and I don't want to ruin what we have now, I don't want her to be uncomfortable and feel weird around me after I confess. Why is it just so impossible?

"Y/LN!!" someone shouted snapping out from my thoughts. I look around and saw Bucky standing at the corner. He made his way towards me and sat down before flashing me a smile.

"What can I do for you, Buck?" I asked.

"Why are you looking at Nat?" He asked with a smirk, and I can feel my face turns red. I'm blushing, oh my god!

"I'm not." I lied as I cleared my throat. He puts his hand on mine and smiled at me genuinely, "It's okay, I'll support you with anything and I'll suggest go get your girl." He said and poke my side making me giggle.

"Bucky stop! It tickles!" I said between laughter but he didn't stop.

While you and Bucky are having your fun, your laughter and giggles caught Natasha's attention. Her heart tightened when she saw you with Bucky, happy. Not that she doesn't want you to be happy, but she want it to be her. She wants to make you happy and give you everything. But she didn't know that you and him are just friends, and to be honest she's the one you're in love with.

"Okay, Bucky! Stop, please, I can't take it anymore!" and finally, he stopped while I start to catch my breathe. I wiped the tear that came out from my eyes because of laughter. Bucky pulled me into a warm embrace and whisper to me, "Go, tell her that you love her before it's too late." He encouraged me before pulling away. I smiled at him and nod. He mess with my hair a little before walking away.

Shortly after Bucky left, I look over where Nat and Bruce are and found Natasha already staring at me. When our eyes met, she turned away quickly and walks out causing me to tilt my head because of confusion. What happened to her? I shrugged my shoulder and start thinking about something to confess my love for her with positive things on my head to boast my confidence.

The night comes, and all of us gathered in the lounge. I was sitting on Bucky's right side while Steve is on the other side of him. Natasha is sitting beside Bruce, talking again about only god knows what. Wanda is with Vision cooking something, while Tony and Clint are just messing around.

I keep stealing glances at Natasha and I'm glad she haven't noticed it yet. But, unlucky me, Bucky notice what I'm doing and nudges my shoulder.

"What the hell are you doing? Talk to her!" He whisper shout.

"You know it's not that easy, right?" I whispered back and he rolled his eyes to me before looking at Natasha. I grab my drink before hearing Bucky cleared his throat making me look at him, confused.

"Hey, Nat." He calls out. Natasha instantly dropped his conversation with Bruce and look at him, "Why?" She asked. I took a sip from my drink while waiting for his response. "Y/N wants to talk to you." He said hiding his smirk while I choke out from my drink. I gave him a look and he just smirked at me, "What the hell, Buck!?" I whispered and slap his arm, not the metal one because I'm not stupid. He just shrugged and lean back to the couch before I turn my gaze over to Natasha and found her eyeing me already causing me to blush and a smirk forms into her lips. SHE DIDN'T EVEN TRIED TO HIDE IT!

"What do you want, Y/N?" She asked with her raspy voice and I swear to god, her voice is enough to kill me. Clearing my throat, I asked and pointed outside, "Can we talk in private, please?" She nods and start to walk outside with me following her behind but before that I look at Bucky and he mouthed a "welcome." I rolled my eyes and give him a finger.

Once we're outside I felt myself getting nervous every passing second and my palm starting to sweat. She turned around and looks at me, "What is it, Y/N?" I took a deep breath and think about what I'm going to do, having second thoughts. Should I really do this? This is going to be so embarrassing and will probably ruin our friendship!

"Y/N?" She speaks again.

"I just wanted to ask if you're a bank loan?" Natasha's eyebrows furrowed as her eyes looked at me confused, "What?" she asked.

"Because you got my interest." I finished before mentally cursing myself for the stupid and corny pick up line that I spill.

"What are you doing?" She asked hiding her smile.

"I'm trying to be sweet, just give me a sec." I said lifting my pointy finger and think about something else. She kept silent waiting for me to embarrassed myself even more.

"Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future." Once again, myself received a mentally cursed from me. Natasha let out a giggle which she tried to cover with cough. I smiled to myself knowing I'm doing good even though I'm embarrassing myself in front of the that girl I like.

"Your hands look heavy, can I hold it for you?" I blurt out and this time with confidence. She shakes her head and smiles, "Why are you doing this exactly?"

"I, uhm— I like you, Nat. Actually, no, scratch that. I love you, Nat. I don't know when and how but one day, I just woke up and suddenly felt this, I've been in love with you for a year now, and I'm not expecting you to like me back. I just want you to know what I feel because everyday, it's getting hard to hide it anymore. I don't know if you're with Bruce because of how close you two are but please, after this don't ignore me, distance yourself from me or feel weird around me. Even you don't feel the same, I still want to be your friend. It's fine by me." I rumble and catch my breathe. She looks at me searching my eyes if I'm telling the truth.

Once she's satisfied she flashed me a genuine smile and walks closely to me before taking my hand, not breaking the eye contact.

"Your lips look lonely would they like to meet mine?" She said and smirked at me.

I feel my face start to heat up, and turning into a crimson red.

"Th-That was nice." I said and nervously chuckled.

"You look so cute when you're nervous, but, I'm serious." She softy said and flashing me another smile. My eyes widen and pointed myself, "You like me too?" I asked with a shocked tone still pointing at myself. She nods and pulled my neck as our lips locked.

Her soft and sweet lips, I grab her waist to pull her closer to me. She wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled away, resting our foreheads together.

"I love you too, Y/N." She confessed causing a smile to form into my face and hugs her tight which she gladly returned.

"You don't know how much this meant to me, Nat. I'm so happy." I mumbled, feeling her giggles.

"I am too, I thought you and Bucky are together because you guys are so close."

"I can say the same with you and Bruce." I replied not pulling away from the hug and walks impossibly close to her.

"You can't get any closer, baby." She chuckled.

I cupped her face and pecked her lips, "Why is your pick up lines are so good and sound so descent, while mine sounds so cringe and corny?" I asked teasingly. She poked my nose before cupping my cheeks, "It's actually sweet, I like it and I love you." She smiled. "Let's go back inside, I think they're looking for us already." I said and starts pulling her back inside. Before we can enter, she stops at the door and turned me around before kissing me. When she pulled away, she smiled at me cheekily which received a giggle from me. We walked back hand in hand causing everyone to notice us.

They gaze goes from us going down to our hands. Bucky let out a very loud cheer, screaming "yes" over and over again all the while Wanda gasp, and smiles form into others faces. I look at Natasha and she did the same.

"I love you, Natasha Romanoff."

"I love you too, Y/N Y/LN."

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lilacmingi · 6 months

Text

MALL ELF

My works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT interact with me or any of my works

Pairing: Mall employee!San x mall elf!fem reader

Word count: 2,634

Note: A couple of you guys have let me know how much you’re enjoying these Christmas imagines and it’s so nice to hear! I’m glad that people are genuinely getting enjoyment out of reading these 🥹 Reminder: This imagine is from Wattpad so there will be no continuations or extra parts

You trudged up to the Baskin Robbins in the food court, your legs aching and feet burning from being on them all day. You didn't even take time to change out of your uniform, going from your job straight to the food court as soon as lunch break started.

You approached the ice cream joint, dropping your head on the counter.

"One (your favorite ice cream)." You said, holding an index finger up before dropping your hand back down onto the counter.

"Rough day?" Your friend San's voice came from above you.

Lifting your head, you gave him an expression that said "You think?"

"Let's see, some kid waiting in line wiped his boogers on my tights, another one cried... a lot, and it's always a jolly day when someone gets so excited to see Santa that they could just about throw up—and they do! You know who had to clean it up?"

"Let me guess? Santa's happy little helper?"

"Ding, ding, ding. Correct." You rolled your eyes. "So did I have a rough day? You you tell me."

"I'll get that ice cream right away."

You watched as San got to work preparing your frozen treat, resting your elbows on the counter. As you were waiting, a little girl ran up, tugging on the bottom of your elf costume.

"Excuse me. When will Santa be back?" She asked.

You turned to the little girl, bending down to the her height, a warm smile on your face.

"He's eating lunch right now, but he'll be back very soon." You assured her.

Suddenly, a woman who you assumed was the girl's mother came hurrying over.

"Sweetie, what are you doing?" She asked, gently pulling the girl away from you. "I'm so sorry." She apologized, giving you a sympathetic look.

"It's totally fine. Don't worry about it." You waved it off.

San, who was watching the whole exchange, couldn't help but smile as an overwhelming feeling of adoration took over. Just a moment ago you were complaining about kids and being tired, yet you put on a bright smile for the sweet little girl that just approached you. He watched with a fond gaze as you spoke to the girl, assuring her that Santa was eating lunch and would be back soon. The girl proceeded to ask you what he eats besides cookies because, "He can't eat cookies all the time."

When the girl and her mother walked away, San handed your ice cream to you. You began digging for money, but he stopped you.

"It's on the house."

"What? You have to let me pay you."

"Anybody who has to clean up puke deserves a free ice cream." He told you.

"You're too kind, San." You said, taking the frozen treat from him.

"You deserve it. I know you've had a tough day."

"You're the best."

"I know." He grinned, cutely. "It's almost time for my lunch break. I can see if I can take it early and we can hang out. Does that sound good?"

"I'd love that. I could use some company."

San disappeared in the back only to return a few seconds later.

"Manager says I can take an early lunch break." He beamed. "Let's go."

The two of you found an empty table nearby and took a seat.

"You in the mood for any real food?" San asked. "I'm sure ice cream isn't very filling."

"Maybe a slice of pizza. I'll have to eat something pretty quick. My break ends in about 20 minutes." You told him.

"You stay here and finish your ice cream and I'll order us something, okay?"

"Sounds good. Let me give you some money for my food."

"That's not necessary."

"Again?" You asked.

"Yes."

You opened your mouth to protest, but he stopped you.

"It's just a slice of pizza, Y/n."

You sighed, a reluctant smile playing at your lips. "Alright."

San left for food while you stayed put at the table. The ice cream you had been given was making you feel better, and sitting down to rest your legs and feet was nice as well. You pulled your elf hat off, placing it on the table before smoothing your hair.

As tired as you were, you didn't exactly dread getting back to work. All you really did was stand around and hand out candy canes, sometimes you would unclasp the velvet rope at the beginning of the line, letting kids and their parents through. The job was easy, the only crappy part was standing on your feet all day.

"I'm back." San announced, placing a slice of fresh pizza in front of you, the delicious smell drifting upwards to your nostrils.

At this point, you had just finished your ice cream and were ready for pizza, in need of something salty to balance things out.

"Thank you." You grinned, excitedly.

San grabbed his own slice of pizza before taking a huge bite, the cheese stretching as he pulled it away from his mouth.

You were quick to start eating yours, a hum of satisfaction escaping you.

"This is so good. Really hits the spot."

"Mhm." San hummed in agreement.

Once yours and San's plates were empty, you pulled your phone out to check the time.

"It's time for me to get back to work." You spoke up.

"Bummer."

"Yeah. As much as I'd love to stay, there's probably a line of kids waiting to sit on the big man's lap."

"You're right. You go on, I can clean up."

"Really?"

He nodded. "I don't mind. Plus, you need to get back as quickly as you can."

"Thanks, San."

"Of course."

With that, you hurried off, back to work.

You headed into the mall, decked out in your red and white striped tights and green elf dress. You weren't really in the mood to work, but the hours weren't that long and it was sometimes nice seeing the happy smiles on the kids' faces when they see Santa for the first time.

You approached the large area decorated especially for Santa, some other workers standing around, all seeming a bit nervous.

"What's going on?" You asked.

"We're one elf down. He didn't show up and when someone got in touch with him, he said he was sick." One of the workers responded.

"Yeah, we're supposed to have five people here today and there's only four." Someone else spoke up.

"I think I know someone who can help out." You told the three.

"Can they get here quickly?"

"I think so."

You stepped aside quickly dialing San's number. He answered after just a couple rings.

"Hello?"

"San! This is so last minute and I know this is one of your off days, but we're one elf short today. Do you think you could fill in?"

"Fill in? What would I be doing?"

"Opening and closing the little velvet rope, lifting kids onto Santa's lap, or handing candy canes to the kids as they leave. It's super easy."

"Sure. I can help out. How long do I have to get down there?"

"The meet and greet starts in about fifteen minutes."

"I can do that."

"You can?"

"Of course."

San was at the mall within ten minutes and had been given a uniform. Thankfully, the people behind the whole meet and greet carried extra uniforms with them.

You watched for San to return from the bathroom where he went to change. You were quick to spot him as he walked over, donning the red, green, and white costume. You had to admit, he looked pretty handsome, even in tights. You weren't surprised by that, San is a good looking guy, it doesn't matter what he wears, he'll always be able to pull it off.

"Well, don't you look cute." You giggled.

"No teasing. I'm doing you a favor." He pointed.

"You're right. But, you do look good."

"Really?" He asked, glancing down at the costume.

"Yeah. You can pull off anything. Even little striped tights."

"They do make my legs look great, don't they?" He asked, sticking his leg out.

"Yeah, yeah." You waved your hand dismissively. "Come on. Santa's here and we're about to get super busy."

San was told by one of the coordinators to take his place by the exit and was handed a basket of candy canes while you stood at the front of the line, pulling the velvet rope back for the first family to pass by.

Hours went by and lunch break was called. You and San paired up and headed to the food court together.

"Aren't you embarrassed to be seen in your work outfit?" San asked.

"Not really. It's Christmastime and people know there's Santa meet and greets at the mall, so I'm not really embarrassed. It's not like I'm dressed up for no reason."

"Hm."

"Why? Are you embarrassed?" You turned the question back on him.

"A little."

"Don't be. Plus, I already told you that you look good."

"I never got the chance to tell you, but you look adorable in your costume."

"Adorable?" You parroted, your cheeks feeling a tad warm.

"Yeah." He smiled softly.

"Ah. Well..." You trailed off, not sure what to say.

San could tell he'd gotten you flustered and he was proud of it. He watched in amusement as you struggled to find the words to speak.

"What are you in the mood to eat?" He inquired, changing the subject (for your sake.)

"How about Chinese? They always have good food at that place over there." You pointed.

There were at least three different Chinese restaurants in the food court, but the one you pointed to was the best out of the three.

This time, you paid for lunch. It was quite the task, but you managed to drop a wad of cash onto the counter before San could. He gave you a look that told you, you successfully caught him off guard.

"I can't believe you did that." He mentioned as the two of you sat down.

"You're helping me out today, it's the least I can do."

"Alright. You have a point. I'll let it slide, but just this once."

"We'll see." You grinned, taking a sip of your drink.

Your lunch break ended sooner than you would have liked, but you were happy working with San. He made work much more bearable just being there.

San stood by the exit, watching you as you pulled back the velvet rope, allowing the next family to see Santa. As the kid spoke to the jolly man, you clasped the velvet rope back into place, the next kid in line tugging on the bottom of your elf dress.

San was close enough where he could hear the conversation.

"What's it like at the North Pole?" The boy asked.

"Ah. Well, it's always covered in snow and there are Christmas lights everywhere on every home and workshop. The streetlights look like candy canes and there's a huge Christmas tree at the center of town."

"Wow." The boy gaped. "I wanna go there one day."

"Maybe you can." You smiled.

The mother and father gave you a kind smile, happy that you played along.

"Oh. It's your turn now." You told the boy, unclipping the rope.

San handed a candy cane to the girl who was leaving, his eyes staying on you. Every time he sees you, it feels like he falls harder and harder for you. At this point, it was too much and he had to say something. He couldn't hold his feelings in any longer.

At the end of your shift, you went and changed out of your uniform into regular clothes. San, who had accompanied you to the restrooms to change himself, was waiting outside for you when you were done.

"Thanks for filling in today." You told him.

"It was no problem. I enjoyed working with you."

"Likewise."

The two of you walked side by side, exiting the mall. The Santa meet and greets go on until about 7:00, which is two hours until the mall closed. Due to it being winter, the sun was mostly set, the sky a dark blue color.

"Where'd you park?" You asked.

"Over that way near the Barnes and Nobel." San pointed. "Where are you parked?"

"Down that row somewhere." You pointed to a nearby row of cars.

"I'll walk you there."

You allowed San to accompany you on the short walk to your car.

"Is it okay if I drive you to your car?" You asked. "I'd feel bad letting you walk halfway across the parking lot to get to it."

"Sure." He smiled.

You drove San across the lot, allowing him to direct you to the spot where he parked. When he got out, you couldn't help but notice a bit of hesitancy in his actions. He came to a stop when he got to his car, standing and staring at the driver's side door. Putting your vehicle in park, you stepped out.

"Is something wrong?" You asked, stepping towards him.

"I have to tell you something." He spoke up.

You frowned a bit, wondering what it could be and if what he had to tell you was the reason for his sudden odd behavior.

"Yeah?" You urged, wanting him to continue.

"Y/n, I like you."

Four words. That's it. Plain and simple.

Your mouth was slightly agape as you processed what he said.

San likes you? San likes you? San likes you?

You blinked a few times, bringing yourself back to reality as San waited anxiously for an answer.

"I like you too."

San was so excited by your answer that he grabbed your face and abruptly kissed you. It caught you off guard and before you could reciprocate the kiss, San had already pulled away, surprised by his own actions.

"I'm sor—"

He couldn't even get the apology out before you smashed your lips against his. San's eyes fluttered shut as his hands made their way to your waist, gently pushing you against his car.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as the kiss got a little more heated. San's fingertips dug into your hips as he angled his head a little more so your mouths fit closer together. Part of you was vaguely aware that you were making out with your friend (and crush) in a parking lot, but you didn't care.

At some point, you had to pull away. Your mind was in a foggy haze as you gazed at San.

"I left my car parked in the middle of the lane." You breathed out.

"Right." San responded, clearly out of breath as well. "I should let you get back to that."

"Yeah."

The two of you stared at each other for a few moments, neither one moving.

"I don't want to leave." You spoke up.

"I don't want you to leave either."

Your hand rested against San's cheek, your thumb stroking the side of his face, lovingly.

"I have the weekend off." He spoke again.

"Then let's make out—hang out." You corrected. "Let's hang out."

A smirk tugged at the corner of San's mouth as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip, amused by your slip up.

"You're cute." He chuckled. "Yeah. Let's hang out. I'll text you later tonight and we can talk about it."

You hesitantly parted ways with San and got back to your car, giving him a small wave before driving off.

Your brain was still a little foggy from the kiss and you struggled to process it. It wasn't until you got home that the events truly sunk in.

Your face became hot as you replayed what happened earlier. As if on cue, your phone buzzed.

San

So, when are you free?

Hongjoong ❄︎ Seonghwa ❄︎ Yunho ❄︎ Yeosang ❄︎ Mingi ❄︎ Wooyoung ❄︎ Jongho

Masterlist ᝰ — enjoyed this imagine? reblogs & comments are very much appreciated!

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#choi san #choi san x reader #choi san x you #san x reader #san x you #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #san fluff #kpop imagines #ateez oneshot #kpop oneshots #kpop scenarios

176 notes · View notes

bird-inacage · 8 months

Text

Only Friends: EP8 Sand & Ray's 'Never Friends' Scene

I wanted to do a deep dive into this scene, because it really exceeded my expectations. It sets the tone beautifully for Sand's current state of mind, and First delivers such a wonderful, nuanced performance here. Easily one of my favourite Ray/Sand interactions yet.

Sand is looking noticeably weary after witnessing Ray and Mew dancing in the bar. The poor boy just looks so tired and dejected, as if he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Unfortunately for him, the bar is where he works so he's not able to avoid being in a place Ray and Mew frequent together.

Ray approaches and tries to behave as he normally would. He asks to borrow Sand's lighter, a little call back to Episode 1. The camera lingers on Ray's reaction when Sand simply hands it over. Another nod to where Sand had lit his cigarette for him previously. A split second detail, a very clear message: 'It's not my role to take care of you anymore. You have someone else for that now'.

Sand being Sand, is still concerned about how Ray is doing and asks about his arm. They fall into a little routine patter before Sand gets straight to the point. I give him such kudos for doing this, for choosing not to skirt around the subject but confront it head on. Besides, it's not as if avoiding it is going to make it hurt any less. "So what's going on between you and Mew?" Sand frames it as a question, because he wants to hear it from Ray himself. It's the least he deserves. There's also a challenging air in the way Sand looks at Ray with his eyebrows slightly raised. 'Humor me. And don't lie.'

Ray looks visibly uncomfortable and hesitant. I do believe Ray exhibits a conscience where Sand is concerned. He at least has the decency to feel guilty. I think he was hoping they could continue 'as normal' for a little while longer, so he wouldn't have to tackle this difficult conversation. Ray's wordless reaction gives Sand all the confirmation he needs.

Before Ray has anything to say, Sand jumps in with, "Congrats, you're no longer in the friend zone." The way he says this feels 100% genuine. I do think that Sand wishes the best for Ray, because he's in exactly the same position as Ray once was - pining after someone who doesn't return his feelings. So he gets it. He can acknowledge how nice it must be for Ray to finally be reciprocated. This is an example of Sand's 'if you're happy, I'm happy for you' response, because it means the attention is deflected off him.

What Ray says next is also quite telling. He's says things are good but it's very early days, and they're essentially seeing how it goes. "It's okay." Note how Ray doesn't gush or seem particularly animated. A few brief but fairly non-descriptive comments. You'd expect him to be over the moon. I feel like this is Ray's attempt to be minimise the damage by downplaying things. He doesn't want to overly dwell or flaunt his happiness in Sand's face. I also believe there's a degree of honesty here, that Ray has some genuine reservations about Mew and their future as a couple, (that perhaps he's been trying to ignore).

The next few lines absolutely gutted me. "Good, you can finally end the secret crush. Such a waste of time, right?" 'Good for you, you're no longer suffering (like I am)'. When Sand talks about a waste of time, he's referring to himself. 'At least you no longer have to kill time with me, when you really wanted to be with Mew, what a relief that must be.' Sand is massively self-deprecating here. The time they spent together was not special. It didn't have the same meaning to Ray as it did to Sand. Everything he did was meaningless in context because he thinks Ray was simply 'settling for second best' in the meantime. Sand often uses this tone to imply his own foolishness. For continuing to care so much for Ray when he's getting nothing back.

Ray then asks "Are you okay?" I've noticed that when Ray poses this question, he's not really asking. He already knows or he wouldn't ask in the first place. He's basically saying, 'You're not okay but tell me why', allowing Sand to further divulge. However, Sand is never going to give a honest answer to that question. He's always putting on a brave face and pretending to be okay even when he clearly isn't.

Sand then comes back with his classic, "Why wouldn't I be?" "You're seeing someone you've always loved. It's a dream come true." Not a single thing Sand is saying is about his own feelings. His own pain. His own turmoil. He's purposely shifting the focus to Ray, 'well you're happy so I don't matter. It's your dream come true, so my feelings aren't part of this equation' - which just breaks my goddamn heart. 'Who cares what I feel or think about this. I get no say.'

Ray ponders for a second or two. You can tell he's at a loss as to how to salvage things with Sand without losing him completely. So he offers the next best thing he can, in order to still keep Sand around. "Can we still be friends?" Which means, 'I still want to spend time with you. I still want you to be part of my life'. And Ray's face is full of hopeful naïveté that Sand will agree (this boy really has no idea how agonising that would be). For Sand, this is like adding insult to injury. 'Friends' has no clear definition in Ray's terms, and Sand is wary of Ray's tendency to blur that line. So Ray asking him if they can still be friends doesn't really mean anything, which prompts Sand's "You and I have never been friends from the get-go". 'We need to stop fooling ourselves that what we were doing was ever friendship. I've woken up, you need to too'. Sand is not prepared to participate in muddying the waters, especially now Ray is dating someone. It's not fair to anyone involved.

"We have nothing in common. Besides, I don't know why I should be friends with you." This is probably the harshest thing Sand says in this entire conversation. He's very pointedly trying to create distance. Despite evidence to the contrary, he's alluding to differences between them that should justify that distance, justify him pulling away. Sand is just so resigned and matter of fact about all this because he knows there's nothing Ray can say to refute his thinking. It's all far too late anyway.

Ray displays a moment of slight panic and he's clearly thrown by this. 'It's not like that. Don't reduce it to that'. One thing we can be sure of is it upsets Ray to imagine no longer having any connection to Sand. This indicates to me that Ray does value Sand in his own way. Right now he just has no idea what he can offer to keep Sand close to him, because there is no legitimate reason for doing so since he now has Mew.

As a form of consolation, or perhaps a last ditch attempt to tug on Sand's heart strings, he admits, "but when I'm with you, I'm so damn happy." Ray means well by saying this, as in you make me happy. 'That's got to mean something, right?' But by phrasing it this way, it comes across as he's making this all about him. Sand is desperately searching for evidence to prove Ray does care about him, and he keeps coming up empty. He's run out of reasons to stick around anymore. And Ray's not saying the right things to prove him wrong.

Sand deflects again. '(So what if I might make you happy?) You'll be happy with Mew too. I'm nothing special. You'll get to spend time with him in the same way we did'. "You might even be happier," said with a smile no less. Another absolutely gut wrenching line. Sand's sadness clears briefly and he looks sincerely like he wishes Ray the best. It almost feels like a farewell of sorts. 'He'll make you happier than I did. Because I'm not good enough. I'm not what you want.' This is yet further indication that Sand doesn't think he's left any lasting impression on Ray. Whatever they shared with one another, Ray can easily replicate with Mew instead. He's easily replaceable.

Ray reaches out to stop Sand from walking away. Ray is conflicted. He feels regretful over Sand, which he shouldn't be feeling. He's worried that this time Sand is really slipping from his fingers, and there's nothing he can do about it. Because what's done is done. He chose Mew. So what else is there to say?

Sand follows up with, "Let me go already." 'Stop torturing me. Stop giving me false hope when you've already made your choice. Forget me so you can continue being happy and I can move on. Don't make this difficult for me.' Even in this line, I can hear Sand's care for Ray permeating through it. Sand knows he's isn't what Ray wants. He can make Ray happy but not happy enough to choose him. So the best he can do is to send Ray on his way, and to wish him well. All he asks is for Ray to return the favour, and leave him alone to heal. Akin to his addiction, Sand is telling Ray that he needs to let go from clinging to him like a crutch. Because the only purpose he serves is a crutch and nothing more.

He wants Ray to want him for him, and not as a safety net. Not because he provides Ray with some form of temporary comfort or company. Not because he's a means to pass the time.

Why I adore this scene so much is due to the enormous strength and kindness Sand displays here. He could have been much colder with Ray. He could have been petty, outraged, bitter, resentful. But you truly sense his helpless love for Ray throughout the entire interaction. He's still trying to deliver his message in the most considerate way he can manage. He firmly holds his ground but without any malice. 'The tragedy is I can't help but love you, despite what you've done to me'.

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #only friends meta #ray x sand #sand x ray #raysan #sanray #khaofirst #firstkhao #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #crying into my pillow #this scene hurt me so much #sand breaks my heart so badly #how many ways can you feel pain? YES #this BOY *sobs*

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recreationalfanfics · 1 year

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Hi 💞I just discovered your account and I read all of Ror yandere's posts and I think your writing is the best I've ever read for Ror ✨✨. So I decided to place an order. This is the first time I order on any account 😅 So what about yandere poseidon, Thor, Buda, hades (if you don't read the manga, put Loki instead of him please) with a reader like Hinata Hyuga, shy, sweet, and heir to a powerful clan, but people think she's Weak and they prefer her sister, and she loves someone other than the yandere, and that other person is not aware of her feelings, and he loves another girl. You can choose if the reader is a god or a human. English is not my first language, so sorry if it is not understood 💀💀

I READ HINATA HYUGA AND INSTANTLY KNEW I HAD TO DO THIS REQUEST, SHE IS MY QUEEN. The reader will be human! I ALSO WANTED TO ADD THOR BUT I DIDN'T HAVE THE MOTIVATION SORRY-

chsjgjejc, she's so pretty I'm gonna cry

Yandere! Buddha x Hinata Hyuga! Reader:

- He loves you from right off the bat okay, your beliefs align so well with his and while people seemed to be ignorant about your strength, though he supposes thats what he liked most about you. You weren't just a demure and anxious woman, you had so many more layers to you.

- You were loving, absolutely passionate about those whom you loved and cared about. From your first fight, you showed your true strength and it really impressed Buddha.

- I'm gonna be honest, his feelings for you were genuinely wholesome and sweet from the start. He liked you and he was nice to you, yet when he tried to approach you romantically; you didn't shy away but confidently told him there was someone else. He was dissapointed...ah...so you already had a s/o? He shouldn't be surprised, you're amazing-

- Oh...they weren't your s/o? That's...interesting. He starts to look into this mortal that you seem to be so infatuated with and, well, he doesn't like what he finds. This person has the most desirable person in the world at their feet and they just act like she isn't there???

- How!? Buddha's world light's up once you enter the room. Everything around him seems brighter and more full of life, much so to the point that he notices when you're not around him, everything feels more lonely and sad. It doesn't make sense how they have you in the palm of their hands and yet, still want to have someone else.

- Buddha's obsession LITERALLY starts because of this, he is so close to winning your heart, he knows it! Every shy smile you give him when you compliment him, the way you blush but thank him when he hands you a snack, and how you confide in him. He nearly has you, his heart at his fingertips. But then that person just smiles at you once and you're cruelly pulled back to them. Maintaining a one-sided loyalty.

- Buddha is definetly one of the more smarter yanderes, he could actually manage to manipulate you into giving up your crush. Yeah, he might stalk and spy on you in secret but he'll project his yandere tendencies onto you. Saying how he's concerned with YOUR obsessive behavior (all while keeping his own a secret) and manipulating you saying it was selfish of you to hold onto them when they want someone else. He asks: "Do you truly love them? Because if you were, you'd let them find their happiness...even if it doesn't include you..."

- If he manages to get through to you, perfect! He just needs to capture your interest which isn't hard (look at that man and tell me you wouldn't fall in love, I dare you) since he'd help you recover from your broken heart and put all the broken pieces together. He is now the one you look at during fights, he is now the one you devote your endless love too, and it gives him such an ego boost.

- Yeah, maybe he didn't take his own device but in his defense; you were already the perfect and ideal match for him and he knew you'd love him back...he just had to get rid of the little nuisance that was keeping you from realizing your true feelings.

- If there is the slight chance you do realize he's trying to manipulate you or that your feelings are too strong for your crush, he will just straight up tell you that they DO NOT LOVE YOU. THEY WILL NEVER LOVE YOU. NOT THE WAY HE DOES. Why...why can't you see that???

Yandere! Poseidon x Hinata Hyuga! Reader:

- NO BECAUSE, LIKE, IF THE READER IS HINATA THEN POSEIDON IS DEFINETLY TONERI, JUST A BIT DIFFERENT BUT BASICALLY: POSEIDON FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU, A NEW GODDESS.

- LIKE, HE ABSOLUTELY FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU SOMEHOW DESPITE YOU BEING A HUMAN (to clarify: you caught his eye when you were a legal consenting adult) AND THAT YOU DEFINETLY HAD AN EFFECT ON HIM WITHOUT REALIZING IT.

- He admired you so much and loved you so dearly, in his mind, he hated all humans but maybe...maybe YOU were the one destined for him, you did not digust him at all, and while everyone in your clan had exceptional talent, YOU were the best, even being deemed as "The Bykaugan Princess".

- When you enter Ragnarok, you do it to protect humanity but also for love...Sadly, not for Poseidon's love but for the love of a human who didn't even notice you! One who you gave your heart and soul too and yet, they didn't even spare a second glance in your direction.

- While Poseidon loved you, he hated the person you fell in love with because they reminded him of every aspect he hated about humanity. Their arrogance for taking your love for granted, their ignorance as they never noticed the longing looks that you gave them, and their obnoxiousness as they casually brushed you off. YOU WERE FIGHTING IN RAGNAROK BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO PROTECT HUMANITY, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY: THEM.

- It IRKED Poseidon because he was jealous of a human. He doesn't blame you for having a crush on them, he sees how gentle your heart is and how your kindness is simply too much for your heart to hold for itself so you share it with others.

- No, he was upset at everyone around you. Those who talked down to you, looked down at you for how you acted (even though you couldn't help but be a living symbol of elegance and perfection) but if they had watched you like Poseidon had, that you were far from what they thought about you. You were mighty and you were strong, especially for those who you loved.

- He wanted to romance you, he truly did. He showed his softer self to you when he was able to be around you and tried his best to not look so intimidating but it just wasn't enough. For some reason, that disgusting person you adored was taking Poseidon's place in your heart. It was their fault he couldn't court you like how he wanted because they somehow made you obsessed with him!

- He had to resort to such nasty methods. Maybe he kidnapped your sister like how Toneri did and made you marry him to garuntee her safety. Maybe he threatened to use his position as a God to make sure your little crush suffers, hell, you did kill one of his fellow Gods so he's sure he could get some other God's in targeting your crush as revenge.

- He hated seeing that fearful look on your face but when you finally submitted to him, he couldn't deny it made his heart beat faster. He knows you only went because you care too much about people but he isn't too upset because he knows, after a while, you will realize that HE is the one you should be obsessed with and loyally devoted to because unlike that pathetic human, he will return it ten fold♡

Yandere! Loki x Hinata Hyuga! Reader:

- Aw, you're a pathetic little mouse, aren't you?~ You started out as an obsession right off the bat to him, honestly. Your eyes are what caught his attention but you were so timid and neglected, poor thing♡ He approached you long before the fights started but saw you during the preparations of the whole thing and ah, you were simply too adorable to resist.

- But then when he sees you fight with the Gentle Fist technique for the first time then he is obsessed with you, so the little mouse does have some fight in her, huh? And yet, as soon as the battle is over and he pins you to the wall after your victory. You start to get nervous and stutter and he chuckles and murmurs a: "How precious~" before he lets you scamper off like the cute mouse you are.

- He borders on the line of being all lovey dovey with you and being absolutely mean to you. Like, you're upset because you realized Brunhilde meant to pick your sister instead and asked if you were willing to trade but you just tried to argue that you can handle it...well, tried. You ended up nearly in tears so Brunhilde left to "give you sometime to think it over." which really meant she just couldn't deal with you.

- "Aw, poor little mouse, once more; only the second choice to their big sister." Loki teased. You tried to wipe your tears, not wanting him to he mean to you like he usually is but you couldn't stop them. He just feigns another sound of sympathy as he reaches over and brushes your tears away with his thumb and squishes your face cutely as he smiles, "If it helps, I think that you're much better than your big sister. She's so mean and boring, but you're simply adorable."

- His bullying can also stem from the fact that you love someone other than him, which pisses him off. Usually, he'd be angry at you but he's even angrier when he sees that the person you've given your heart too DOESN'T EVEN WANT IT. AND YET YOU NEVER GIVE UP TRYING TO PROVE YOURSELF WHEN LOKI IS RIGHT THERE. Okay maybe he's a little mad at you but only because despite your all-seeing eye, HE IS BETTER FOR YOU. Yes he's a little mean but that's just because he loves you♡

- He'll bully your crush out of you too. Mocking you for wanting someone who doesn't want you, how you should just give up on them because they're never going to notice you, not the way that Loki does. They will never love you.

- And as your once more crying from his hurtful words, he once more pulls you into a gentle and loving hug and nuzzles his face into your neck: "Aw, they're never gonna want you. Not when that girl is a much better match for them. So you should just give up and be with me instead! I can be so much more for you♡"

- He truly does envy your crush, though. When you're not being sad, you truly are beautiful. The shy yet dreamy smiles you have, the way your eyes flare with admiration and pure love, your face becoming so beautiful that no painting or photo could truly capture your beauty. Loki gets upset when he gets reminded that its not for him.

- He will shape-shift into your crush sometimes as a cruel joke but you never fall for it because of your eyes, but he'll taunt you with it and be all: "Would you give me a kiss now, (Y/n)? Hmm? If I looked like them? If I acted like them?" and you just look him dead in the eyes, your confidence coming out as you glare and say: "No, because my heart belongs to them. And you will never be them."

- You're so pathetic in his eyes. He could destroy you for talking to him like that and you both knew it, yet you risked it all because you loved this person with such passion from the depths of your heart. You fought for humanity not just because it was right but because they'd be destroyed along with it and you'd never let any harm come to them. You will unfailingly run to them again and again just to get your heartbroken but you're willing to endure it because you love them. And as Loki feels what could only be described as heartbreak from your words, he realizes that you've made him just as pathetic as you are...

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fairydares · 2 months

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loook i get why the idea of riding the "anti/pro" fandom disk horse makes people gag a little in their mouth and try to opt out entirely, but here's why i went from feeling exactly the same way to taking a firm profiction stance. I've been meaning to make this post for a while.

~10 years ago, I posted a fic for the first time and it got its own harassment campaign. The fic wasn't even sexual, and wasn't going to be (it remains incomplete). It was accurately rated T on fanfiction.net. Anyone in the Fairy Tail fandom will understand this: I literally got harassed for writing a "Lucy leaves the guild" fic💀.

After many nice comments, someone left a pretty nasty one. Hurt, I messaged them back. They acted super attacked that I'd responded (lmao) and after we argued, threatened to "rip my shitty story apart in the comments section" if I responded again. I told them "go ahead lol."

They went ahead.

Now know that it was a relatively small harassment campaign, but at the time, it was devastating. Right around then, I wound up in the hospital. After I got out, I went to excitedly check my fic, and found several reviews saying things I wouldn't repeat to my worst enemy. I was suicide-baited more than once, told "thank fuck you finally abandoned this shitty story, dumb cunt," stuff like that.

There were several accounts involved, and I can't say for sure, but I suspect at least a couple different people were involved, though probably at least half of it was one person.

All the other comments were screeching about how I hadn't updated, mostly. "NO UPDAAATEE WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO MEEEE??!!!" was one that stood out after I'd been miserable in a hospital for an extended period of time.

Idk what people think is going on when FT fic authors write this trope, and frankly I don't give a fuck. Because while I was partly writing the story out of some young, cringe feminist rage, I also did genuinely have a real story I was compelled to tell. I was inspired by another, popular fic I loved which used the trope to talk about how trying to shoulder our burdens alone really just hurts both ourselves and everyone who cares about us.

My own story was ultimately going to have similar themes, with more focus on strength, what it means, and in what contexts earning and having it actually matters. In retrospect, no wonder I wound up in hot water, because at the time "Lucy vs. Strength vs. Misogyny" was the FT fandom's Designated Nonsensically Activist Debate™. But that's partly why i wanted to write about it; engaging with the fandom had gotten me thinking about it 🤷‍♂️

Not too long after that, FFNet oh-so-benevolently granted us the ability to delete comments from our own stories (they never took my reports seriously at all, afaik). I deleted all or most of the harassers' comments (may still be a one or two up, and i'm fairly sure there's a couple comments defending my fic from the harassment) without saving screenshots, which I really regret now. I was just so mortified and full of self-loathing about the whole thing that i wanted to forget it completely. Something that had brought me joy at a very lonely, vulnerable period of my life had turned so negative, and i couldn't even tell the people closest to me about it without being made fun of for writing anime fan fiction.

I didn't understand why this happened at the time, but--after a period of trying to forget/bid out of it all with a slight anti lean (a common approach I see people use, and one which I'm not proud of adopting)--I just had to figure out What the Fuck Even Happened There. And I'm telling you, after years of reflecting, wrestling with both sides, and educating myself, that this "status quo of harassment" culture which pervades fandom goes way deeper than you think and comes out of a way darker well than you probably realize. An astonishing amount of this is, quite literally, TERF shit and evangelical shit.

Trying to be in fandom and take a stance of, "Anti/Pro shit? Ew, I'm Not Touching that," is like swimming in a heavily polluted river and being like, "Poison? Cringe. Not me lol."

You might be lucky enough to be in a less-polluted part of the river (AKA a relatively non-toxic fandom, in which case good for you!)...but tbh this rhetoric and peer-signalling will still seep in.

I can't stress enough that pro-fiction, AKA "proship", is the normal, leftist-about-art-and-sex opinion. Pro-ship is against all the horrible things you're against; in fact, pro-ship isn't trivializing real trauma by equating it with fictional trauma, or trying to apply literal evangelical/radfem solutions--which are proven not to prevent or help. Profiction/proship is literally just saying, "Fiction is fiction, reality is reality, and the two don't have a 1:1 relationship. And historically, trying to censor just things we've decided are bad has done nothing but get LGBTQ+ and POCs censored. Therefore, depictions of illegal things shouldn't be censored." That's it. "Proshippers all ship problematic ships," is a brazen lie. Many of them share other fans' disgust for those ships, they just don't believe in censoring fic authors over it.

It is also taking a stand against harassment because--and I hope my own story has helped drive this home--as with all groups who adopt ingroup/outgroup thinking, antis are defined by their tactics, not actual stances on real, serious issues. What happened to me was absolutely a result of anti, "it's okay to 'bully out' anything I just don't like" mindset pervading fandom. In a way, this was the mindset's final form. They didn't even feel the need to cite a reason the trope was "bad" or "wrong"; it annoyed them, and they viewed their own feelings as a valid enough pathway for policing to go right ahead and do so.

In the interest of offering solutions instead of just bitching about problems, I might make a "how to know if you've bought into these types of views"-type post sometime. Also might come back to this and provide some sources/citation.

#cw harassment #tw suicide-baiting #tw hospitalization #posts i actually wrote #fairy tail #nalu #fandom #fandom meta #proship #pro fiction #anti-censorship #fandom wank #profiction

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ageingfangirl2 · 7 months

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Met Your Match! Shanks (OPLA)

Shanks might have met his match when hitting on you in a tavern. You give as good as he takes. Shanks x Reader (female implied)

SHANKS

Another port, another tavern, another night of drinking and good times. The rest of the crew were merry, loud and mingling with the locals while I scanned the tavern for someone to keep me company. I was very confident in my ability to flirt and swoon women into my bed, and most girls in this tavern were already eyeing me up. However, there was one girl who sat alone at the end of the bar drinking and not paying attention to anything around them.

As I approach them they turn to face me and look me up and down, before going back to their drink, 'Not interested, find someone else.'

I sit on the stool next to them and order a beer, 'why would I find someone else when I want you,' I say boldly, puffing out my chest and accepting this challenge.

They laugh, 'someone's confident. I've had a long day, and I'm pretty sure another girl in here would be happy with your attention.'

'What do you do? I'm Shanks by the way,' I ask, genuinely interested, and maybe I could get their name.

They sigh, 'I'm a carpenter, and call me y/n.'

You didn't come across many female carpenters, and now looking closer I could see bits of sawdust on their clothes and they smelt like varnish. I can't keep the smirk off my face.

I clear my throat, 'I wish you were my big toe. Then I could bang you and every piece of furniture.'

y/n turns to face me trying to suppress a laugh, 'Okay Shanks, what's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?'

I take a swig of beer, 'what's the difference?'

'A guy will look for a golf ball,' they answer deadpan.

I throw my head back and howl with laughter, finally someone else with a similar sense of humour, 'You've been sleeping with idiots love. You're cute as U in it, but quickie has U and I together.'

y/n nearly spits out their drink, their eyes twinkling as they take a deep breath, 'what do you call a man who cries when he pleasures himself? A tear-jerker.'

I take note of a few girls around us who were eyeing y/n up with disgust, maybe because they had my attention or maybe because of their dirty mouth. Either way, neither of us cared and continued to trade dirty jokes.

I straighten up, 'how is sex like a thunderstorm?'

y/n rests their chin on their hands smiling up at me, 'You're the pirate, tell me.'

I wink, 'You never know how many inches you'll get and how long it will last.'

Resting their chin on one hand, they reach over with the other and try to shove me crinkling their nose, 'how is playing bridge similar to sex? If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand--' they pause, eyes going wide, 'shit! sorry!'

Some stray strands of hair fall onto their face so I lean over and brush them behind their ear, our faces close, y/n blushing as I lick my lips, 'I only need one love. I've got one more for you if you think you can handle it. How is life like a penis?'

y/n gulps, 'How is life like a penis Shanks?'

'It sometimes gets hard when you least expect it,' I whisper.

y/n looks down and bites their lip, 'Why the hell not, meet me in the bathroom.'

I watch y/n get up and head towards the bathroom. I quickly finish my drink and get up to follow them, not caring who saw us and my obvious bulge. It had been a while since a girl had got me hard with words alone.

Y/N

Shanks enters the bathroom, locks the door, and before you can properly compose yourself after whatever the hell happened at the bar, he pushes you against the wall, his lips attaching to your neck quickly finding your sweet spot as if he could read minds.

You moan and tilt your head to give him a better angle, your hands reaching for the hem of his pants, while he does the same to your pants, both of you making quick work of the underwear of the other.

'Fuck me, Shanks,' you beg.

He comes up for air after switching between kissing and biting your neck, eyes dark and hungry as he smirks, 'Let me make you feel good after a long hard day.'

You squeak as he picks you up and you wrap your legs around his waist before he thrusts inside you without warning. It had been a while since your last time so you were tight but your body greedily wanted more despite the pain.

'Faster...' you gasp.

He complies and picks up the pace, 'so tight,' he growls, 'but it's like you were made for me,' he hums.

Not wanting to be heard you cover your mouth with your hand, eyes rolling back as wave after wave of pleasure consumes you. The only sounds are Shanks grunts and skin on skin. You didn't care how needy you looked as it doesn't take long for you to cum.

'Good girl, hold on a little longer,' he pants.

His thrusts become sloppier, and with one last thrust, he cums inside you. He stays inside you as the two of you come down together, and you remove your hand from your mouth.

'Being a carpenter has some advantages, Shanks,' you say playfully, lacing your fingers through his hair.

He raises a single eyebrow, 'tell me.'

You peck his lips, 'I'm good with wood and my hands.'

Shank's eyes light up, mischief the most obvious emotion, 'my ship is wooden. I could put your hands to good use love.'

After cleaning up you leave the bathroom together and it is obvious to everyone in the tavern what the two of you had just done, especially his crew who hoot and holler as Shanks leads you towards them with his arm around your waist and beaming like the cat who'd gotten the cream.

'Boys this is y/n, who wants another round?' he calls out.

Everyone cheers as Shanks sits you down next to a man who has black hair with a sprinkling of grey in it. You didn't expect to end your day screwing a pirate in a bathroom and drinking with his crew.

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