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maxrakun · 2 years

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If the Octo-Pod ever had an intercom system + in-built communication system:

Barnacles: Hey, Kwazii, I set up the new announcement system, wanna try-

Kwazii: *activates it without question* Attention shoppers! The store is now closed!

Barnacles: Kwaz, I-

*Tweak enters the HQ through the chute slide*

Tweak: Oh, cool, let me announce!

Barnacles: Uh… *Reluctantly lets her go*

Kwazii: Not like, “Bring your items to the front” closed, I mean like “Get the hell out!” Thank you!

Tweak: *Grabs the intercom* Oh also, if anyone happens to find a green hair thing, it’s mine. *Turns it off*

Barnacles: *Whispers* Ugh, so much for repairing it after the Natquik radio incident…

[Meanwhile at Natquik’s den]

The intercom plays back Kwazii and Tweak’s “test” announcement.

Natquik: This isn’t even a store! We’re Octonauts, not some convenience store for rescuing animals! *Realizes* Wait, we do save them from danger, I guess?

Barnacles: *In the intercom* Ahem, sorry Natquik for the “Minor inconvenience”, I was meant to say something like…1, 2, 3, testing or some sort?

Natquik: *Presses a button* Oh, no worries, it’s funny. Now, I gotta go, I have a red fox problem!

Barnacles: I believe there’s a snowstorm in coming. Don’t die! I repeat! You’re so precious, professor! Don’t almost die like your radio-

Natquik: Hey! That radio was precious if it weren’t for those FUCKING ice-quakes! *Covers his mouth* Oh? Did I say that? Sorry! Didn’t mean to curse!

Barnacles: *Disconnects*

Natquik: …Well at least the damn thing works! I said one cuss word and you disconnected?! *Sarcastic* So shocking.

[Natquik sees the snowstorm outside his window]

Natquik: Oh, no. I’m not dying this time, even if it means running on minimum wage to pay my radio.

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eternalslover · 6 months

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Bullet train incorrect quotes:

Y/n: Hey I’m about to get in the shower. You wanna join me?

Tangerine: There’s a pistol taped underneath the island in the kitchen. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to shoot me. Aim for the head, don’t stop until I’m dead.

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murderfathers · 4 months

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happy new year !!

#hannibal meme #will x hannibal #murder husbands #hugh dancy #hannibal incorrect quotes #hannibal fanfiction #nbc hannibal #hannibal tv show #hannigram #hannibal shitpost #hannibal #hannibal tv series #hannibal x will

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my-castles-crumbling · 5 months

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Falling asleep in the dorms…

“Sirius?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think I like Evans anymore.”

“Shit mate, took you long enough.”

“Heh. Yeah.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Yeah, Prongs?”

“I might like boys. Also. Like as well as girls.”

“Join the club, Prongs. Just stay the fuck away from Moony.”

“Noted.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Yeah, mate?”

“What if I like a particular bloke?”

“…it’s not me, is it? Because Moony would probably kill you.”

“No.”

….

“Sirius?”

“Yes, Prongs?”

“It’s your brother.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah, I was just fucking with you before.”

“Right.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Yes Prongs?”

“That’s…it’s okay?”

“Yes, James. I’d rather it be you than anyone else, to be honest.”

“Alright.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Go the fuck to sleep, Prongs. We’ll come up with a plan to woo him tomorrow.”

“Alright.”

….

“James?”

“What’s up, Padfoot?”

“Take care of him, alright?”

“…..yeah. Yeah, of course.”

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neoarchipelago · 3 months

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On mission

Y/N: *taking out a knife* every room can become a panic room if you give just a fucking minute...

Soap: I'm scared LT... LT?

Ghost: I'm horny.

#fanfics #fanfiction #fanfic #simon ghost riley #simon riley #cod mw2 #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #cod incorrect quotes #incorrect call of duty quotes #incorrect cod quotes

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gh0stlylace · 4 months

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Harry standing on his bed at home during sixth year,singing into his hair brush as music blasts from his muggle radio: “But I am my father’s daughter, So maybe I can fix him”

James who’s leaning against his door frame watching him with a confused expression: “What do you think he’s singing about?”

Regulus sighing as he stares at the quidditch sweatshirt Harry has on that clearly said “Malfoy” across the back: “Not a clue babe, Let’s go make dinner”

#draco malfoy #harry potter #james potter #jegulus #marauders era #regulus black #remus lupin #drarry #harry potter x draco malfoy #draco x harry #harry x draco #incorrect marauders quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #dead gay wizards #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter marauders #draco lucius malfoy #draco fanfiction

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celtic-crossbow · 4 months

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Y/N, giggling: You sneeze like a girl.

Daryl: How ‘bout I pound ya like a boy?

Daryl: …

Daryl: Tha’ didn’ come out righ’.

Y/N: I know what you meant. Your place or mine?

Daryl: Yers.

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salemsvlog · 3 days

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What the hell was that

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fourraccoonsinacoat · 6 months

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Rolan: You know, if you ever get tired of adventuring, you could always come work at Sorcerous Sundries.

Durge: I don't think retail is the right career for me. My rancid blood desires nothing more than to reap death on this world. I am a vile soul, broken beyond repair.

Rolan: Sounds like an average Tuesday around here... We do have an annual employee picnic, though.

Durge: Does that help to soothe the unyielding rage within?

Rolan: *Sad sigh.* No.

- - - -

BG3 Incorrect Quotes Masterlist.

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here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can · 1 month

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being a marauders fan is a red flag.

it’s also an orange flag.

and a yellow flag. and a green, a blue and a purple one.

you’re gay.

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jameskinniesrise · 14 days

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Sirius: Bro- Remus : No, no, hold up, rewind. Remus : My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

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maxrakun · 2 years

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Sam and Kit gives Wally a present back at CLADE HQ, because this man…is just something. Director Scratch gives them permission to let him crash at their place due to “injury”. If you watch “The Good Place”, you’ll get some of the references. It’s on Netflix if you haven’t already checked it out, I highly recommend a watch.

Kit: And we’d like to present you the Agent starter kit!

Sam: *whispers to Kit* Is he gonna like the tea-

Wally: Oh, lookie there! A stress ball with a dumb corporate logo! *Finds the tea* Is this…

Sam: Yep! Chamomile tea accompanied with honey.

Wally: Huh, interesting. *Dumps the entire thing on the table and trick shots it to the recycle bin*

Kit: Damn, this flying squirrel knows how to aim.

Wally: Oh, guys! Look! *Pulls out something* A Director Scratch diet book? Since when did she get into the health industry?

Sam and Kit: I don’t know.

Wally: *Sarcastically* This is all garbage that I have no real use for!

Sam: Uh…

Wally: Kidding! Ha, I wouldn’t depreciate a gift from you two!

Kit: So, you like it-

Wally: Not only like it, I LOVE IT! Hell, this tea should help me energize my body!

Sam: Just be sure to stir it for five minutes!

Wally: Thank you…oh, I should mention that, no I wasn’t a failed DJ, I was pre-successful. Don’t give me that remark, got that?

Kit: Well, that explains the unusual noises in Bill and Jill’s new song. EDM lover, huh?

Wally: More like a rock person, or maybe pop? You know, I’m more like attempting something futile with so much confidence it crashes and burns. Except this time, I went viral! Curse you blessed internet!

Kit: Like Sam’s unmatched intuition?

Sam: *Irritated* Don’t remind me of the times I got flung into the sky!

Wally: Cool your jets, leopard, you didn’t get hurt.

Kit: Anyways, um, I guess you can stay here until…actually why are you crashing at our room?

Wally: No reason, just wanted to hang. Oh, I got a 12 out of 12 on that one quiz about types of plants and their Latin name.

Kit: *Confused* You fucking lied?

Sam: *Awkwardly* …Congrats?

(I swear to fucking god this show somehow took over my brain, and I say, no regrets bitch)

#the creature cases #sam snow #kit casey #wally bunker #netflix #netflix cartoon #headcanon #incorrect quotes fanfiction #incorrect quotes

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starch1ldz · 2 months

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Y/n: no one actually thinks me and Spencer are dating.

Emily: Raise your hand if you think Spencer and Y/n are dating

The entire team including Spencer raising their hands.

Y/n: Spencer Walter Reid put your hand down.

#star child speaks #incorrect quotes #incorrect criminal minds quotes #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid criminal minds #dr spencer reid #im mentally unwell #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x you #bau #criminal minds bau #derek Morgan

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solarconstellations · 2 months

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James and Reggie doing that tiktok trend where two people are walking and the camera pans back and forth between them.

James: "It's a Jegulus fic, of course Regulus is already hopelessly and completely in love with me before it even starts." Regulus: "It's a Jegulus fic, of course James is going to be compared to the sun."

James: "It's a Jegulus fic, of course there's going to be background wolfstar, dorlene, and rosekiller"

Regulus: "It's a Jegulus fic, of course Sirius and I are going to start speaking French and James and Moony are going to get horribly turned on."

James: *points phone down at his feet* "Wait, can you do that right now?" Regulus: *off screen* "No James, we're in the middle of making a video." James: "It's a Jegulus fic, of course Reggie is going to slip up and accidently call me James after calling me "Potter" for the last 40 chapters." Regulus: "It's a Jegulus fic, of course Sirius is going to go crazy as soon as he finds out me and James are together." James: "It's a Jegulus fic, of course Reg can't swim." Regulus: *points the camera down to his feet* "James, what the fuck, that was a low blow." Regulus: *with revenge in his eyes* "It's a Jegulus fic, of course James and my brother have a ridiculously unhealthy obsession and codependency with one another" James: *with love in his eyes* "It's a Jegulus fic, of course I love my star so much that I would live, die, or kill for him" Regulus: *drops the phone, only their feet can be seen as he runs to James* "Tu vas payer pour m'avoir fait rougir, chéri"

#jegulus #incorrect marauders quotes #incorrect jegulus quotes #james potter #regulus black #marauders #jegulus fic #fanfiction #sunseeker #starchaser #i used a translating app #don't come at me for the french lol #trans: you're foing to pay for making me blush darling

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my-castles-crumbling · 18 days

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Sirius, introducing Regulus to his friends after they reconcile: …and this is my friend Remus!

Regulus, rolling his eyes: Sirius, I’ve seen you two in the hall. I told you I’m gay. You don’t have to lie to me.

Sirius, confused: What?

Remus, nervous: What?

Regulus, turning to James: Are they seriously that oblivious?

James, distracted by Regulus’s eyes: What?

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velvetwilde · 2 months

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Who the fuck he think he is to be this damn hot?

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