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cienie-isengardu · 3 months

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[MK1] Bi-Han & Kuai Liang. Good brother? Evil brother? Nah, just different reactions to trauma, part 3

part 1, part 2

The previous part helped me lay a ground to establish the main difference between Kuai Liang and Bi-Han. Scorpion, as a dedicated follower of father and Liu Kang’s authority is what I had called the Believer. He does not question the nature of Lin Kuei duty, as he built his life around it. Bi-Han on another hand is definitely a Questioner, as he questions and undermines not only the wisdom of Fire God or even his own father but also the reasons why his clan should serve Earthrealm in the first place as he sees such servitude as enslavement. So one brother follows orders of those he considers to be his superiors while the other, the same as all know to us major cryomancers, has a rocky relationship with authority.

Being the sons of Grandmaster definitely influenced their life by how they were raised, because beside the hardship of physical training they, as heirs, needed to be prepared for their future duties to the clan. As the eldest, such additional education was aimed primarily on Bi-Han, and depending on how big is the age gap between brothers, he could be more involved into clan politics - and in result more aware of the inner working of Lin Kuei and the unrest of his people than Kuai Liang or Tomas were. I will expand this thought soon, for now let's talk about the Grandmaster and Mother, as the first authority figures that shaped and influenced both brothers.

FATHER

There is no doubt that their father played a great role in shaping Kuai Liang and he meant a lot to the younger brother. During story mode we had 6 main scenes in which Lin Kuei brothers interacted with each other:

waiting together for Liu Kang

before infiltrating Fortress

after Bi-Han defeated Nitara and Ermac

before brothers separated to carry on their parts of mission

Bi-Han’s betrayal

the second confrontation between brothers that lead to Kuai Liang and Bi-Han fight + Kuai Liang and Tomas talking over unconscious body of Sub-Zero

Out of 6 examples, four was focused on the ideological conflict between Sub-Zero and his brothers - and in all of those scenes, Kuai Liang was talking about father in one way or another

“His teaching did not pass with him. They should still guide us." “We must honor his vision Bi-Han." “Bi-Han!! How could you?! Father would turn in his grave if he saw this!" "We must chart a new course. One that both honors our Father's legacy and serves Earthrealm."

but outside the importance of father and his teaching, had almost nothing meaningful to say in the presented interactions. What is frankly a pretty alarming detail. Not only because Kuai Liang barely interacted with Tomas before he needed his support (6th interaction scene), but also he does not contribute much to the mission - the only one time he does say anything relative to the job at hand is when Smoke is out of the picture.

In contrast, Bi-Han and Smoke talked about how to process the mission on two separate occasions - before and during infiltrating the fortress, even though Tomas is the least battle experienced out of the three brothers (confirmed by his BIO and the falling scene) and the one about whom frustrated Bi-Han said to not have Lin Kuei blood.

And this is very surprising choice of creators, as it was Kuai Liang to whom other characters will look up for leadership during battle to close the portals, so A) he doesn’t lack the skills and self-confidence to lead a mission and B) he was no afraid of Bi-Han nor Tomas as he spoke his mind openly around his brothers.

For the majority of Bi-Han’s chapter, literally all Scorpion has to say was to critique Sub-Zero even for things not worth the scorn[1] or bring father into discussion despite perfectly knowing this will only frustrate his elder brother more.

Again for contrast, during the same chapter Bi-Han spoke of things not related to his father or ambitious plans for Lin Kuei’s future. As in:

discussing mission with Smoke on two different occasions

enjoying the fight for his own personal reasons (glory, testing his skills against worth opponents)

childhood memory - hearing the stories about Nitara’s people as a child

Sub-Zero’s chapter alone gives us a good hint of differences between Bi-Han and Kuai Liang. Scorpion is all about father and tradition to the point he barely interact with Smoke despite his own assurance “We may not share blood, but we are brothers” and has little to nothing nice or supportive to say to his elder brother despite their close bond (as provided by intro dialogues: Kuai Liang believing their bond couldn’t be broken and Bi-Han wishing to rule with Kuai Liang at his side).

In all fairness there is something almost fanatical in the way Scorpion acted at this point in story mode and it would be easy to claim this blind-like dedication to father is what Kuai Liang was at the core. However, like I said in the previous part, the same as Bi-Han’s behavior was influenced by emotion out of his control, the frustration we were told by Scorpion and shown through Sub-Zero’s angry gesticulation, the same assumption should be made for Kuai Liang. The best hint comes from the interaction between brothers before they attempted climbing on the wall.

Sub-Zero: “We must find a less guarded section before attempting an ascent. Finally we face a worthy foe. Victory will bring us glory." Scorpion: “Glory? We fight for duty." Sub-Zero: “Does our Father's ghost possess you? All I hear is his voice."

Saying someone is possessed is a strong way to emphasize how a person is acting differently than usual. By Bi-Han’s frustrated reaction we can assume that the way Kuai Liang behave and speak mimic the behavior of their parent - and if Sub-Zero was constantly rebuked by father the way he is rebuked by his younger brother over everything, whatever big or small matter, it could be the origin of his growing frustration.

However we need to keep in mind that Kuai Liang was deeply affected by the unexpected death of their father, so this event could influence the way he interacted with his brothers, especially with Bi-Han. There is no reason to doubt they were once close, but I think the moment when Kuai Liang lost not just a parent but the most important authority figure, he started treating father’s wisdom not as just a guidance but some sort of Sacred Laws he - and his brothers - needs to follow to the letter.

At first in story mode Kuai Liang only says “His teaching did not pass with him. They should still guide us” to which Bi-Han replies that father’s wisdom can guide them but not “shackle” (limiting). But the more conflict escalates, the more Scorpion insists “We must honor his vision Bi-Han” yet he does not provide any real argument why they must do it actually. Like yes, sons should respect their father and be obedient while tradition is an important part of one’s culture, but Kuai Liang never goes out of his way to provide any example of what is good about that wisdom in the first place.

In contrast, the more tense became their interaction, the more vocal Bi-Han was about why he reject their father’s teaching:

Sub-Zero: "Vision is what he lacked. He was blind to our superiority. We settle for defending Earthrealm when we could help lead it."

and later, at his breaking point,

Sub-Zero:"He was doddering old fool! He did us a favor, having that accident. And I was right to let him die.[...] Father had doomed the Lin Kuei to mediocrity. Now we will achieve greatness."

At the same time, despite the harsh criticism toward father and considering his death as “favor” done to Lin Kuei (brothers) and having no regrets for letting him die, Sub-Zero’s relationship with his parent is not so one sided as it may look at the first glance.

Through intro dialogues, Bi-Han still considers his father a foolish, short sighted man

Scorpion: Father would be ashamed of you. Sub-Zero: Only because he lacked vision.

and

Smoke: Father wanted us to be brothers. Sub-Zero: Yet another of the old man's foolish dreams.

Sub-Zero: My father was a fool to follow you. Liu Kang: He wisely honored Earthrealm with his service.

but at the same time he does not completely reject the notion of the father’s greatness

Sindel: I knew your father. He was a great man. Sub-Zero: Yet he never understood the Lin Kuei's potential.

or that the man’s wisdom had some merit

Sub-Zero: Father was right about one thing: never trust a sorcerer. Quan Chi: Truly, he was a wise man.

nor Sub-Zero's action was motivated by hate or spite

Reiko: Is it true: you let your father die? Sub-Zero: What war's ever been won without losses?

Ashrah: What kind of son betrays his father? Sub-Zero: One who sees his father's time has passed.

(And there is something really weird how Reiko bothers to ask Bi-Han about his father’s death yet Fire Lord, who praised the previous Grandmaster as a wise man to serve Earthrealm, has nothing to say about the matter? No anger, no rebuke, not even a simple comment for what Bi-Han did? When he expressed regret on various occasions for the ill fate of Sindel and her husband? I guess this could add to the pile of reasons why Bi-Han resents Liu Kang’s authority for not treating his Lin Kuei allies with the same or similar level of respect he express toward Outworld Royal Family).

Scorpion in his intro dialogues does not question father’s authority at all. He does speak about him with

Sindel

Scorpion: Your husband's murder haunted my father. Sindel: All those close to Jerrod were devastated.

and

Sindel: Both your parents were excellent fighters. Scorpion: I can only hope to live up to their example.

Geras

Scorpion: I want to see the moment my father died. Geras: You are not ready to receive that knowledge.

and Bi-Han (“Father would be ashamed of you”) however I didn’t find any example he directly mentioned father to Smoke, who, like Sub-Zero, had a more complicated relationship with the man[2].

He also expressed to Johnny and his mirror match burning anger at Bi-Han for father’s death:

Johnny Cage: Bi-Han's got you all fired up, eh? Scorpion: He'll burn for betraying my father.

and

Scorpion: I won't be consumed by vengeance. Scorpion: How can your father's death not burn you?

This fierce reaction to father’s death is understandable, as Scorpion’s Bio said,

Like his cherished father, Scorpion is dedicated to the Lin Kuei and its defense of Earthrealm. When his father died, Scorpion was bereft.

Now, let’s focus on the choice of words. According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, bereft means:

suffering the death of a loved one but also being deprived or lacking something needed, wanted, or expected.

Which is why I think the loss of a father is for Kuai Liang something more than just missing a beloved parent. He also lost the guidance that was constant in his life since he was a little kid and he tries to fill the emptiness by honoring and in result, mimicking the authority figure he built his life around.

Kuai Liang’s character theme is HONOR

and as much as it is about his integrity and loyalty to father’s teaching (protecting Earthrealm), I think this is also a keyword to what Scorpion dedicated his life: to honoring the past but only through father’s idea of tradition, duty or his legacy[3].

Story mode: "We must honor his vision Bi-Han."

and

Story mode: "We must chart a new course. One that both honors our Father's legacy and serves Earthrealm."

and

Smoke: With you as grandmaster, our new clan will flourish. Scorpion: Only if we honor tradition.

If we agree that Father was the authority Kuai Liang followed and built his life around, then he did not just lose a parent but also a central part of his world, a source of comfort and security. And Bi-Han, the closest remaining blood-relative, the eldest sibling is NOT PROVIDING THE NEEDED COMFORT and/or STABILITY because Sub-Zero does not follow father’s teaching anymore and slowly is building his life around different values and goals than were accepted by previous Grandmaster.

Which is why I believe Kuai Liang so desperately clings to it, and honors the man’s teaching like it is some sort of sacred code and can’t anymore interact with elder brother the way they used to. Because he is afraid to lose the last connection to cherished father - if Bi-Han casts away their father’s teaching, they will be forgotten with passing time and then lost forever. And the dislike of changes father would not approve and fear of being forced to act against his own brother are part of Scorpion’s BIO:

[...] he took pride in knowing that his brother, Sub-Zero, would succeed their father as the Lin Kuei's grandmaster. But Sub-Zero's unprecedented moves to cast off the Lin Kuei's traditional duties have frozen Scorpion's enthusiasm. He fears that one day he may have to battle his brother for control of the Lin Kuei's legacy.

- even if Bi-Han prior to his betrayal scene did not do anything that cast off the tradition. We could hear him talking about his ambitions to change Lin Kuei, but only between his closest family and never openly questioning or challenging Liu Kang’s authority. Like yes, Bi-Han was frustrated and lacked patience for back talks of Kung Lao who still didn’t figure out Lin Kuei pulled out their punches and acted violently once Johnny grabbed his arm - and how much it was a learned reflex to respond with violence and a simple excuse to hit him is up to debate. But each time Liu Kang got involved in the “conflict” Sub-Zero fell back to his place and obeyed. The same as he did not argue about the mission he and his brother undertook on Fire Lord’s order.

As the story mode provides, the clan was more than ready to reject the past because only Kuai Liang and Tomas refused to follow Sub-Zero’s leadership. Which speaks a lot both about Lin Kuei as a society and Kuai Liang’s dedication for tradition and father. The story mode really made him look to be in the minority in that matter. To the point that he openly admitted to Smoke how small are chances for him to replace Bi-Han as the Grandmaster even though he is the second in line to that title:

Smoke: “What are you doing? Once he's exposed, won't you be made Grandmaster?" Scorpion: "You forget Cyrax and Sektor. Their loyalty to Bi-Han is absolute. They'll sooner abet his corruption than follow me."

At his breaking point, Bi-Han explained to brother he lied about father’s death because

"[...] you couldn't, and still can't, face the truth. Father had doomed the Lin Kuei to mediocrity. Now we will achieve greatness."

what is of course a very subjective opinion, but considering how sources presented Kuai Liang and how narrow-minded he can be, especially during mourning father, I’m willing to give Sub-Zero some benefit of doubt. Not if father worsened the Lin Kuei situation or not, but about Scorpion and his inability or lack of will to face the truth. Lin Kuei has changed and Bi-Han alone is not the source of problem, because he is the clan leader for relative short period of time while the whole clan rejected the centuries old traditions honored by Kuai Liang’s father despite knowing it puts them on the collide course against Liu Kang, Earthrealm and Outworld. What is more, just because the previous Grandmaster died, it does not erase all the older members who served Earthrealm longer that Bi-Han or Kuai Liang lived and they too support Bi-Han’s independence streak as far as sources implies. Would they reject Sub-Zero if they knew about his part in Grandmaster’s death? Maybe or maybe not, all depending how long and how deeply the dissatisfaction about the Lin Kuei situation runs. Something that Kuai Liang may not be aware of - or quite the opposite, he was in fact painfully aware about it and this is why he feared Sub-Zero's desire for change, because he knew the clan will gladly support it.

The same as for tradition, brothers have a different approach to their father and what he symbolizes in their life. For Kuai Liang the man was a cherished family member and moral guide, the first and final authority while for Bi-Han a source of frustration and limitation. Understandable then, they have an opposite reaction to his death, one is heartbroken and the other sees it as an opportunity for his own growth and realization of ambitious plans.

The Lin Kuei brothers’ feelings for mother though are drastically different matter and this will be the subject of the next part.

SIDENOTES

[1] The best example happened here:

Sub-Zero: “We must find a less guarded section before attempting an ascent. Finally we face a worthy foe. Victory will bring us glory." Scorpion: “Glory? We fight for duty."

as Bi-Han can’t even express the joy he finds in fighting without Kuai Liang cut in and bring it down again to duty and in the wider perspective what father trained them for. An excitement that in itself is not inherently a bad thing, especially since the Sub-Zero’s quotes after losing the fight against Nitara or Ermac shows how Bi-Han would graciously accept defeat and praise his enemy (“You are a superb adversary. More than worth the wait” and “You are as formidable as promised. Let’s continue.” respectively) thus his attitude is about something different than bloodthirst or fun. Sub-Zero was warned about the danger Nitara and Ermac posed:

childhood stories about Lin Kuei's effort against Nitara’s people: “As a boy I heard tales of battles against your kind.”

Liu Kang’s warning about Ermac: “You are Quan Chi’s creation. Liu Kang warned about you. I had hoped for the chance to battle your dark magic.”

and so Bi-Han hoped to face worthy opponents against whom he could test his skills. And though it may sound selfish, we can’t forget that Sub-Zero was raised as a warrior - only facing strong opponents and overcoming the danger allow a warrior to make progress. Lin Kuei warriors were always striving for perfection, and if this mindset did not change in Liu Kang’s timeline, it is understandable why the prospect of facing danger after years of idleness pleased the Grandmaster.

Bi-Han looking out for a chance to perfect his abilities, wishing to test himself and earning a recognition for fighting skills he dedicated his whole life doesn’t sound as something deserving such a negative reaction. Especially since Bi-Han at this point has never done anything that put the mission or his brothers at risk. And though he was frustrated about his and Lin Kuei's situation, it never stopped him from doing his duty - until the capture and Shang Tsung’s offer scene. An offer he wouldn’t be otherwise interested to listen to, as was seen during his fight with sorcerer

and Sub-Zero’s intention to eliminate the enemy for good (even if Liu Kang clearly said to capture the sorcerer not to kill him).

This leads me to think Kuai Liang’s rebuke was uncalled for but also supports my feeling mentioned in the previous part - Scorpion did not enjoy fighting but was doing it because tradition (father) demanded that from him.

[2] Tomas’ complicated feelings toward Lin Kuei Father are rooted in his trauma - it was Grandmaster’s own people who killed his mother and twin sister. As much as an adult Tomas respect his adoptive parent and maybe even became emotionally close with he man over the years, there is still something in the way he spoke about the past events that indicates it was not always the case - and maybe he still feels some resentment to the man that at least indirectly destroyed his childhood

Kitana: You are Kuai Liang's adopted brother? Smoke: His father's honor demanded that he take me in.

and

Reptile: Lucky for you, Kuai Liang's father took you in. Smoke: It didn't feel that way at the time.

And I guess this is just the nature of intro dialogues, but it feels off to me that when Tomas is talking with non Lin Kuei characters, the father is always connected down solely to Kuai Liang (and not for example to both brothers) and Tomas never corrects them or say anything implying that despite not sharing the same blood, the man became his father too. There is also something to say how Tomas twice brought father in his dialogues with Bi-Han:

Smoke: Father wanted us to be brothers. Sub-Zero: Yet another of the old man's foolish dreams.

and

Sub-Zero: You were never truly one of us. Smoke: Were Father here, he would disagree.

None of the brothers adds “my” or “our” father - and Bi-Han could do so, if he didn’t consider Tomas part of the family. Interestingly Sub-Zero only once said “my father” in his intro dialogues and between the three brothers, Sub-Zero's ones revolve the most around the man (I counted 8 separate, direct intro dialogues), while Kuai Liang does not talk directly about father with Tomas at all in their pre-fighting interactions. Which is quite surprising, considering how important father is to Kuai Liang and how often Smoke brought the man’s authority in story mode and intros.

[3] At this point I think it is not the burning anger that Kuai Liang shares with the original Scorpion that should concern other characters (and us), but his “blind” clinging to the past that brought Hanzo Hasashi a lot of suffering and made him an easy target for manipulations. Now, I know this may sound too harsh, especially at such an early stage of exploring a new timeline and having no clue what is NRS’ final goal for his character development but hear me out. Kuai Liang’s Shirai Ryu is not an improved version of Lin Kuei, but it's replacement. For now Scorpion needs to find and train willing adepts to secure Earthrealm and his new clan’s safety, so it’s understandable his focus is set on the most urgent matters at hand, but if he is not willing to closely examine past and question it - be it father’s teaching or what lead Lin Kuei to follow rebellious Sub-Zero than following their traditional duties, he will recreate the system that objectively speaking is unfair to people born into it. As far as we know, Lin Kuei members weren’t paid for their dutiful service, they lived in isolation and secret, forced their children to endure hardship since childhood to turn them into superb soldiers (tools) so Liu Kang’s Earthrealm could be safe and sound and even in times of peace, the warriors could die for unspecified reasons that aren’t related to natural death out of old age (presumably what happened to mother). There is much more to talk about, so I’m gonna leave this matter for another part. Just signaling that Kuai Liang’s fierce loyalty to father (past) can be as dangerous as Bi-Han rejecting it.

#mortal kombat #bi han #kuai liang #tomas vrbada #sub zero #scorpion #smoke #lin kuei #my analysis #that kinda get out of control #sorry folks as much as i'm dying to talk about lin kuei bros' mother i needed to cut the text here #as it something around 9-10 pages already lol #i won't lie writing about pyromancer kuai liang is so painful and i tried my best to not be harsh on him #for being so narrow minded character that like barely provides any arguments or explaination for his cause #especially in contrast to bi han who though is painted as the “powe hungry brother” he has some good points and at least give me #something to work on and analyze #while kuai is mainly father this tradition that #and it is so weird bi han and tomas have more intro dialogues about father than kuai liang and tomas have #it is not character flaws nor their fault just storyline and how story is structured and so on #but it is so weird sometimes #i'm here for scorpion being affected by grief over father and fear how the world he knows is falling apart to explain why brothers #were so frustrated and bad at communication #the same way i feel bi han's frustration influenced his behaviour

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bbyboybucket · 2 years

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So I just wanna talk about why Sam Wilson makes a perfect Captain America. Disney/Marvel are clearly neglecting him so I wanna appreciate my boy and talk about how fucking bad ass he’s gonna be in cap 4. Surprise, I actually don’t wanna talk about Sam’s fighting skills or anything like that. Because yeah, he is beyond qualified for the job in that area (guy with extensive & elite military training that’s so skilled he works with super humans? Obvi good there.) but, I’m here to talk about personality. Cause that’s what makes a character worthy of leading the Avengers, being a country wide role model, and just generally being most successful at their job. The most important quality one needs to have to be in such position is the ability to be a leader. Seriously, excellent leadership skills are a necessity and Sam has just that. Sam is an intelligent man overall, especially with technology and also problem solving. That said, his social intelligence in particular is one of his biggest strengths. Sam is a people person, he’s empathetic and compassionate and charming, he’s able to connect with almost anyone he comes in contact with. That comes in handy for leading a group of people, he’s able to build a relationship and trust with his teammates/coworkers. It’s also useful for trying to talk down his opponents. Because Sam is a questions first, shoot later, kinda guy. He thinks of ways to de-escalate the situation before trying anything else. And fuck, he’s good at it, he’s capable of it. It’s not hopeless for him to talk a villain down, it’s viable and he knows it’s worth a shot. He’s also extremely well articulated, which is a useful trait for a variety of reasons. Sam always has an air of confidence about him, even if he feels self-doubt, he doesn’t display that and therefore it’s hard for his enemies to use that as a weakness. When he believes in something, he stands his ground. He doesn’t back down or waver, similarly to Steve. Sam can be one to compromise but he’s not a pushover, he’s well planted in his beliefs/what he fights for. He has a level head on him and it’s very hard to mess with it, he’s a master at navigating stressful situations. He’s incredibly patient with others and able to compartmentalize well. That being said, his chill demeanor doesn’t mean he’s going to stand around and take people’s bullshit, he’s not going to be okay with people out right disrespecting him (*cough* Bucky *cough*) and will put them in their place, he will absolutely stand up for himself but does so in a way that won’t worsen the problem but rather show that he is the more mature and bigger person. He’s also courageous, a “whatever it takes” kind of guy, which can sometimes lead to a bit of impulsivity but it’s a part of what makes him a good hero, he won’t shy away from a challenge or threat, he’ll face it head on no matter how ridiculous or impossible it may seem. He roles with the punches always. Just as a little bonus, he’s great at lightening the mood in combat/stressful situations by cracking a joke at the right moment. And lastly, of course, as he pointed out himself, he’s basically just like Steve Rogers in that they both wanna make things right and stand up for the little guy, their big hearts are what fuels them.

#i had fun writing this #and I feel like he’s getting more and more under appreciated so he deserves some praise atm #Sam Wilson #captain America #character analysis #meta #? kinda #captain america 4 #cap 4 #captain america new world order #Sam!cap #tfatws #caatws

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yantainc · 4 months

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Navigating Careers and Leadership: Guiding Women in Tech | Yantra Inc.

In an era where the call for gender equality resonates across continents, young women in tech stand on the brink of a transformative journey—a journey towards building rewarding careers and stepping confidently into leadership roles. The path is not devoid of challenges, but with resilience, ambition, and a supportive community, these hurdles can transform into stepping stones toward success. With decades of experience in building a consistent and successful career, I have learned and relearned many aspects of being a professional, and I hope my guidance and suggestions mentioned here emphasize the importance of self-belief, mentorship, continuous learning, and community in navigating careers and aspiring to be leaders.

Believe in Your Worth

The first step towards the leadership journey is to foster a deep-rooted belief in your potential. Not leaving room for self-doubt embrace your capabilities, strengths, and uniqueness. I advise recognize your voice and believe in the value of your contribution. Know that confidence is not just a feeling but a practice; by setting challenging yet achievable goals and meeting them, you reinforce your belief in your ability to move ahead for growth. This attitude makes you a leader.

Seek Out Mentorship

Staying flexible, open to discussions, and adaptive to change always works in one’s favor. Seek mentors who not only align with your career aspirations but also embody the values and leadership styles you admire. A mentor can provide insights drawn from their experiences, offer constructive feedback, and open doors to opportunities that might otherwise remain hidden. Remember, mentorship is a two-way street that thrives on mutual respect and active engagement. Be proactive in seeking advice, asking questions, and offering your perspectives. Set your goals and stay flexible to learn from your mentors to advance in your leadership journey.

Embrace Continuous Learning

Continuous learning is not merely an option but a necessity. Invest in your personal and professional development through formal education, workshops, online courses, and by staying abreast of industry trends. This commitment to learning demonstrates adaptability and eagerness to grow—qualities that are indispensable for leadership roles.

Build a Supportive Network

Build relationships with peers, join professional networks, and participate in forums where you can share experiences and resources. These connections can become sources of support, advice, and even collaboration. A network also serves as a reminder that you are not alone on this journey; many share your aspirations and challenges.

Advocate for Diversity and Inclusion

Leadership is not just about reaching the top; it’s about paving the way for others to follow. Advocate for policies and practices that support equality and create inclusive environments.

Overcome Challenges with Resilience

Challenges are inevitable, but they also present growth opportunities. Whether it’s overcoming bias, balancing personal and professional commitments, or navigating failures, resilience is key. View setbacks as learning experiences and use them to refine your strategies and strengthen your resolve.

Lead by Example

Finally, aspire to be the leader you wish you had. Embody the qualities you value—integrity, empathy, decisiveness, and inclusiveness. By leading by example, you inspire those around you to pursue their aspirations and contribute to a positive and empowering workplace culture for women in tech.

Tech Trends for Women’s Leadership:

AI & ML

AI today is no longer the exclusive domain of data scientists. We are in an amazing phase of technology reinvention through AI with human-like design which is going to open new possibilities to unleash greater human potential, efficiency, and creativity. Many businesses have embarked on this journey to tap the value and capability of this new stream due to its very nature of human-like intelligence and seamless integration into every process. Hence, there is a need for everyone to upskill and adopt the change.

The involvement of women in AI and ML is essential for creating technologies that are innovative, unbiased, and reflective of the diverse society they serve. Encouraging and supporting women in these fields is not only a matter of gender equality but also a critical factor for the success and sustainability of AI and ML innovations. As the influence of AI and ML grows across all aspects of life, the active participation of women in these areas becomes increasingly important to ensure that technology advances in an inclusive, equitable, and responsible manner

To read full blog- Navigating Careers and Leadership: Guiding Women in Tech | Yantra Inc.

#women in tech #navigating careers

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jyotishacharyadevrajji · 5 months

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What is the best position for the Sun in a horoscope?

SUN PLANET IN VEDIC ASTROLOGY

Significance of the sun in Vedic astrology : The sun holds a place of paramount importance. It is considered a celestial body of vitality, power, and authority, often referred to as the “Atmakaraka” or the soul signification. As a primal cosmic entity, the Sun is seen as the embodiment of the self, representing our core essence, ego, and spirit. Its position in the horoscope is of great significance, shaping our fundamental identity, personal growth, and life path.

Sun in astrology represents : The planet Sun has the status of the head. Sun is the father of the family and the main head of any department, bones in the body, eyesight, metabolism, immunity, and heart. Sun is considered the king of planets. Its influence is indicative of power, position, ego, courage, confidence, authority, and government departments. The Sun in astrology symbolizes authority and leadership. It influences how we express ourselves and impact the world around us. Moreover, it is associated with life force, vitality, and the will to exist, making it a vital component in determining the health and energy levels of an individual.

Sun planet characteristics astrology : Characteristic traits of the Sun in astrology involve generosity, courage, and a natural inclination towards leadership. These traits can be seen in individuals with a strong Sun in their birth charts. They tend to be highly motivated, ambitious, and confident, often seeking to lead and inspire others.

Sun personality traits : Sun personality traits are often dominated by the qualities of assertiveness, independence, and individuality. These individuals are typically ambitious, motivated, and focused, with a strong sense of personal identity. They value their self-expression and have a natural ability to shine in their chosen fields.

Sun personality characteristics : The Sun’s personality characteristics are also reflected in the individual’s approach to life. They are usually straightforward, honest, and have a strong moral compass. They are known for their unwavering determination, and their ability to overcome challenges with courage and resilience.

Significance of the Sun in Vedic Astrology : In Vedic astrology, the Sun’s qualities include vitality, leadership, and authority. It is associated with the father figure, symbolizing power, control, and administration. The Sun’s influence often leads to a sense of responsibility and the ability to guide and motivate others. It instills a strong sense of self-worth and an innate desire to make a significant impact on the world. Overall, the Sun’s significance in Vedic astrology is profound, affecting the core of our being and shaping our life’s journey.

Frequently asked questions and their answers related to the influence of the Sun in Vedic astrology:

What does the Sun represent in Vedic astrology?

The Sun in Vedic astrology represents the self, ego, and soul. It signifies vitality, authority, and power, shaping our fundamental identity and life path.

What is the best position for the Sun in a horoscope?

The best position for the Sun in a horoscope is the tenth house, known as the house of career, reputation, and public image. It signifies a strong drive for success and recognition in professional life.

What is the significance of the Sun in Vedic astrology?

The Sun is of paramount importance in Vedic astrology, often referred to as the “Atmakaraka” or the soul significator. It shapes our identity, personal growth, and life path and influences our health and energy levels.

What are the characteristic traits of the Sun in astrology?

The Sun in astrology is associated with traits like generosity, courage, and leadership. Individuals with a strong Sun in their birth charts tend to be highly motivated, ambitious, and confident.

What are the Sun personality traits in Vedic astrology?

Sun personality traits are dominated by assertiveness, independence, and individuality. These individuals are typically ambitious, motivated, and focused, with a strong sense of personal identity.

What are the Sun personality characteristics in Vedic astrology?

The Sun’s personality characteristics in Vedic astrology involve straightforwardness, honesty, and a strong moral compass. They are known for their unwavering determination and their ability to overcome challenges with courage and resilience.

What qualities does the Sun signify in Vedic astrology?

The Sun signifies qualities of vitality, leadership, and authority in Vedic astrology. It is associated with a sense of responsibility and the ability to guide and motivate others.

How does the Sun influence health in Vedic astrology?

The Sun is associated with vitality and life-force in Vedic astrology. Its influence can affect the health and energy levels of an individual, often determining their physical strength and resilience.

What does a weak Sun signify in Vedic astrology?

A weak Sun in Vedic astrology may signify lack of confidence, vitality, and leadership qualities. It can also lead to health issues related to the heart, eyes, and bones.

How can one strengthen the influence of the Sun in their horoscope?

In Vedic astrology, strengthening the Sun can be achieved by performing specific remedies, such as Sun mantra chanting, Aditya hridaya stotra path, and fasting on Sundays. Consulting with a knowledgeable astrologer is recommended for personalized advice.

#vedic astrology #best kundali matchmaking astrologer in faridabad #astrology #west delhi

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the-kill-switch · 8 months

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001: The Difference Between Prayer and Mercy is How You Move Your Tongue

TW // Internalized homophobia , mention of physical abuse , mention of self-harm , mention of inappropriate behavior

Paschalis Milan, a child of Italian soil born to Korean parents, bore a name intricately linked to the bustling city of Milan. His parents ensured that he was baptized, christening him with the name Paschal, a tribute to Saint Paschal.

From the earliest years of his life, Milan was steeped in Catholic beliefs, and his education took place within the hallowed halls of a Catholic school. His faith bloomed naturally, leading him to become a devout Catholic. By the time he reached junior high school, he had devoured the entire Bible, effortlessly citing verses. He took up a leadership role in the local youth Catholic community, never missing a Sunday mass, and became a beloved figure among his peers. His kindness, wisdom, and inspiration touched the lives of many.

Yet, the tides of change began to stir in his senior year of high school. Milan found himself drawn to a classmate in a way he'd never experienced before. An attraction that he desperately tried to suppress, for he had been taught that such feelings towards the same sex were not only wrong but sinful. He also harbored unease with the increasing visibility of the gay community, believing it was contributing to a world in moral decay.

Despite his efforts to deny his feelings, they persisted and grew stronger. Nights turned restless as he grappled with emotions that seemed to defy the faith he held dear. Milan would pray, begging for mercy and forgiveness, but the heavens remained silent. To avoid this boy, he withdrew from school and locked himself away, arousing suspicion in his parents. In a moment of desperation, he turned to them for help, only to endure physical abuse and blame.

“Why did God allow these feelings to consume me if He didn't want His children to suffer?" Milan agonized. This traumatic experience marked the first and last time he’d open up about his feelings to his family, as he was forcibly dragged to church to confess his perceived sins. His confession, tearful and nauseating, led him to convince himself that he was no longer in love with his friend, though a trace of affection lingered in a corner of his heart.

Milan, in an attempt to move on with life, met a young woman while he was in college. This attraction caused him to question his sexuality, wondering why he had previously felt drawn to men. He secretly pursued the relationship, finding physical intimacy as comfort, but it only caused him guilt and shame. His Christian upbringing held purity and chastity as important values, which he now felt guilty about breaking.

Once more, his world spiraled. He dared not confide in his parents, given their traumatic response. Instead, he resorted to self-harm, using pain to keep himself in check, lest he commit what he considered the gravest of sins again.

Instead of feeling liberated, Milan was plagued by an internal conflict that questioned his beliefs, values, and worth. The allure of sin and ecstasy was strong, calling him, a sensation he had rarely experienced during his years as a devout Catholic. He yearned for something more, a taste of the forbidden pleasure and joy.

He discovered that the rigid confines of his faith had left him longing for the freedom he had never known. He now often found his thoughts becoming increasingly lustful and scandalous during Sunday masses. Rather than whispering prayers in a state of devotion, he was now preoccupied with fantasies of pleasuring someone else with his tongue intimately, while they begged him for mercy.

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womenswin01 · 9 months

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Shattering Stereotypes: A Guide to How To Break the Glass Ceiling

In a world striving for equality and progress, the term "glass ceiling" continues to be a formidable barrier for many individuals, particularly women, in their pursuit of professional success. It symbolizes the invisible, yet very real, limitations placed on one's career advancement due to gender bias and stereotypes. However, the good news is that it's not unbreakable. With determination, strategy, and the right resources, you can shatter the glass ceiling and achieve your goals. In this comprehensive guide, we'll explore the concept of the glass ceiling, why it exists, and most importantly, how to break through it.

Understanding the Glass Ceiling

The glass ceiling is an intangible but powerful barrier that prevents individuals, often women and minorities, from reaching the upper echelons of leadership and decision-making in their careers. It's a metaphorical representation of the hurdles and biases that limit their progression to top-level positions, regardless of their skills, qualifications, or aspirations. The glass ceiling encompasses discriminatory practices, subtle biases, and societal stereotypes that hinder career advancement.

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Why Does the Glass Ceiling Exist?

The glass ceiling exists due to a complex interplay of social, cultural, and organizational factors. Understanding these factors is crucial to dismantling this barrier:

Gender Stereotypes: Traditional gender roles and stereotypes still persist in many workplaces, which can lead to women being undervalued or overlooked for leadership roles.

Lack of Representation: When there are few women or minority leaders in an organization, it creates a self-perpetuating cycle where aspiring individuals struggle to visualize themselves in such positions.

Biased Recruitment and Promotion Practices: Biased hiring and promotion decisions, often unintentional, can favor certain groups over others.

Work-Life Balance Challenges: Women often face unique challenges related to balancing work and family responsibilities, which can impact their career trajectories.

Inadequate Support Systems: Organizations may lack the necessary support systems and mentorship opportunities for underrepresented groups to advance.

Breaking the Glass Ceiling: A Step-by-Step Guide

Now, let's delve into practical strategies and steps to break the glass ceiling and unlock your true potential:

1. Self-Reflection and Goal Setting

Start by reflecting on your career goals. Define what success means to you and set clear, achievable objectives. Having a strong sense of purpose will guide your actions and decisions.

2. Skill Enhancement and Education

Invest in continuous learning and skill development. Acquiring new skills and knowledge not only enhances your qualifications but also boosts your confidence and competence.

3. Building a Support Network

Seek out mentors, sponsors, and allies who can guide and advocate for your career advancement. Networking is a powerful tool for breaking through barriers.

4. Navigating Bias and Stereotypes

Learn to recognize and address bias and stereotypes, both within yourself and in your workplace. Educate your colleagues about the importance of diversity and inclusion.

5. Negotiation and Assertiveness

Develop negotiation skills to ensure you are fairly compensated and promoted. Be assertive in advocating for your worth and contributions.

6. Work-Life Integration

Find ways to integrate your personal and professional life effectively. This might involve negotiating flexible work arrangements or sharing family responsibilities with your partner.

7. Leadership Development

Take on leadership roles and projects that demonstrate your leadership potential. Seek out opportunities to lead teams and initiatives within your organization.

8. Advocacy and Activism

Become an advocate for change within your workplace. Encourage your organization to implement diversity and inclusion initiatives and policies.

9. Stay Resilient

Breaking the glass ceiling can be challenging, and setbacks may occur. Stay resilient, keep learning from your experiences, and persevere in your pursuit of success.

Unlock Your Potential with 'How to Break the Glass Ceiling' at Womenwhowin100.com

For individuals determined to shatter the glass ceiling, resources and support are crucial. That's where "How to Break the Glass Ceiling" at Womenwhowin100.com comes into play. This empowering platform offers a wealth of knowledge, tools, and community support to help you overcome obstacles and achieve your career aspirations.

At Womenwhowin100.com, you'll find:

Expert Guidance: Access expert advice and insights from individuals who have successfully broken the glass ceiling.

Skill-building Workshops: Participate in workshops and training sessions designed to enhance your skills and confidence.

Mentorship Opportunities: Connect with mentors and role models who can provide guidance and support on your journey.

Networking Events: Engage with a vibrant community of like-minded individuals through networking events and discussions.

In conclusion, the glass ceiling is a formidable obstacle, but it's not insurmountable. With determination, education, support, and the right resources, you can break through and reach the heights of success you deserve. Visit Womenwhowin100.com today to begin your journey towards shattering stereotypes and unlocking your full potential. Your future is waiting, and it's time to seize it.

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pooma-education · 1 year

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Topic of discussion today is:

Different levels of Leadership

(Resources:Mr. S. C. Vohra, Ms. Priya, Dr. Sekar Srinivasan, Dr. Balasubramanian, Ms. Ishrath, Mr. Naresh Singh, Mrs. Namagiri, Mrs. Pathumakutty, Mr Azeez)

Priya: Developing leadership skills can help us to increase certain professional qualities, build and maintain relationships and increase our earning potential

The levels of leadership can improve our rapport with team members and help us to develop important leadership skills. They can also help us to develop a stronger network with people in our industry.

AZEEZ: "why can't I do this?"

"why can't I do that?"

"what's wrong with me?"

Have you ever questioned yourself with all of the questions above or similar?

You are not alone. Everyone is always asking themselves why it's so hard to develop good personal development.

If you are the one who feels this, all you need to know is to accept yourself because you are the only one who can save yourself

Saving your life from your lifestyle is the beginning of giving birth to a leadership quality already within you. Leaders are not born yet they are created.

Let's create a world of leadership and pave a space for the generation next which is not yet born.

We begin our session..

Nancy Dominic ✨: Sir, I strongly belive, to become a good leader, the person should understand and value his self worth, this realization always helps to boost our confidence, and a confident leader is always successful.

NAMAGIRI: A leader should not be partial and a leader should not judge anyone by others opinion.He has to find the good qualities of his subordinates and he should know to appreciate their good qualities.

S. C. Vohra: I strongly agree with you that a confident leader is (always) successful. My humble opinion is that confidence over a period of time imperceptibly takes the form of over confidence, then misplaced confidence and finally arrogance. Therefore, bubbling confidence is like walking on razor’s edge. It takes no time to cheering crowds start jeering.

Nikitha Kothari: Totally agreed point

And adding to it a Leader must lead by example.He/She should be a teams person

[07/07, 3:18 pm] 02163 S. C. Vohra: Correct. Frontline leadership.

AZEEZ: Origin of leadership:

(Self control)

Saving our life from our self lifestyle is the beginning of giving birth to a leadership quality which already within us.

Leaders are not born yet they are created.

Sources of leadership:

• Potential: Potential is one of the most wonderful words in any language. It's optimistic. It's hopeful. It hints at greatness. It's full of possibilities. It's inside of you. How do you develop your potential? You grow.

•Growth: Growth is the only guarantee that tomorrow is going to get better.

• Know things better: Where am I now?, Where I m going ? And How will I get there?

• Leadership arises from being assigned to a leadership position in an organisation.

• Leadership arises from leaders acquiring, engaging, and leading followers.

S. C. Vohra: This reminds of Bacon’s adage ,”some are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them “

AZEEZ: What is a leadership?

Fundamentally, leadership is a relationship. Leadership is a relationship between those who aspire to lead and those who choose to follow.

• Types of Leaderships?

Assigned and Emergent leaderships.

Leadership that is based on occupying a position in an organization is assigned leadership. Team leaders, plant managers, department heads, directors, and administrators are all examples of assigned leadership …

The individual acquires emergent leadership through other people in the organization who support and accept that individual’s behavior. This type of leadership is not assigned by position; rather, it emerges over a period through communication.”

Ishrath: Leadership is the art of innovation, not domination

Pathumakutty: Leadership is action not inaction, and good dealing

NAMAGIRI: Leaders have open mindedness,Flexibility and Responsibility.A good leader will focus on developing others by encouraging them.

AZEEZ: Who confers leadership?

Ownership Confers Responsibility, Responsibility Confers Authority.

Levels of leadership:

Level 1 — Position ( Rights)

The lowest level of leadership—the entry level, if you will—is Position. It’s the only level that requires no ability or effort to achieve.

Level 2 — Permission ( Relationship)

Level 2 is based on relationship. At this level, people choose to follow because they want to. In other words, they give the leader Permission to lead them. To grow at this level, leaders work on getting to know their people and connecting with them.

Level 3 — Production (Results)

The best leaders know how to motivate their people to get things done! And getting things done is what Level 3 is all about. On this level, leaders who produce results build their influence and credibility.

Level 4 — People Development ( Reproduction)

Level 4 can be summed up in one word: reproduction. Your goal at this level is to identify and develop as many leaders as you can by investing in them and helping them grow.

Level 5 — Pinnacle (Respect)

The highest level of leadership is also the most challenging to attain. It requires longevity as well as intentionality.

The key important my purpose of becoming/being a leader is:

It's my purpose in life to be that guide, to know the way and help you go after it.

My desire is to help you develop the right attitude, discover your strengths, tap into your passion, make gains in your life like you've never seen, and become more in touch with what you're designed for so you can live a happy, healthy, and full life.

That's what I want for you, and I want to help you get there. I do this for you because I am a leader in my classroom, I am a leader in my school....

Naresh Singh Rajput UNV: Leader is one who makes a new leader..

BALA SUBRAMANIAN: Each teacher is a leader, which is the maximum possibility , and happy to get respect till the death with all students with same frequency, even with differetn platform and mostly not possible in the other domains. we can see in the business or politics or religion, they did not because after the leader, there is 100 % division or branches created or exists who's disproved the leadership with same principles. one way can be satisfied that one school is multiplied or diverge with different school of thoughts.

Dr Sekar Seenivasan: A leader is a personality with zeal who follows who follows him and navigates in the right direction to achieve inculcating assured confidence.

AZEEZ: Leadership and innovation cannot go together without each other.

I believe leadership and innovation go hand in hand and depend on one another for success.

A leader cannot be an Innovator, he is an initiator. The role of a leader is not to be a visionary, but to create an environment where people are willing to and able to innovate.

S. C. Vohra: Is there any reason that a leader can’t be an innovator? If he is not a visionary, he isn’t fit for leadership role. Innovations have been done despite leaders. Thinking new thoughts whether they lead to innovation or not is a sign of being civilised.

AZEEZ: The reason is that, innovation for a leader is limited and a leader has unlimited space for creating innovative culture to reach the goal.

Meaning of creating innovative culture: It begins from certain values such as:

A tolerance for failure requires an intolerance for incompetence.

A willingness to experiment requires rigorous discipline.

Psychological safety requires comfort with brutal candor.

Collaboration must be balanced with individual accountability.

And flatness requires strong leadership.

Innovative cultures are paradoxical. Unless the tensions created by this paradox are carefully managed, attempts to create an innovative culture will fail.

S. C. Vohra: Innovation in the field of leadership has unlimited scope. A leader can transmogrify everything with his innovative approach and take the team to new heights. Under visionary leaders only, new leadership flourishes.

AZEEZ: His vision is based on the vision of owner of the organisation. Again he has limitations within the vision

S. C. Vohra: Agreed. But are we discussing leadership in general or just school leadership. Even in a school or small organisation, the leader has to be given full freedom to put into practice his innovative ideas. NEP is just an improvement over the existing system not innovation.

Visionary Leaders Turn the Vision into Reality.....but whose vision?. Not of his own.

Visionary Leaders Help Others See the Vision....but whose vision?. Not of his own.

Visionary Leaders See the World Differently...This is true. He can see the world through his vision.

S. C. Vohra: In so many situations, leaders take upon themselves leadership without waiting for it to be conferred.

They balance their own vision with the vision of those conferring it and take steps.

AZEEZ: True. They are Emergent leaders. It is rare.

S. C. Vohra: They are the product of circumstances. Cometh the hour , cometh the man.

If there is a mismatch between two visions , they prefer to opt out.

AZEEZ: How and why people become leaders?

There are many perspectives on how and why people become leaders:

^ Designated leaders are officially recognized in their leadership role and may be appointed or elected.

^ Emergent leaders gain status and respect through engagement with the group and its task and are turned to by others as a resource when leadership is needed.

^ The trait approach to studying leadership distinguishes leaders from followers based on traits or personal characteristics, such as physical appearance, communication ability, intelligence, and personality. While this approach is useful for understanding how people conceptualize ideal leaders, it doesn’t offer communication scholars much insight into how leadership can be studied and developed as a skill.

^ Situational context also affects how leaders emerge. Different leadership styles and skills are needed based on the level of structure surrounding a group and on how group interactions play out in initial meetings and whether or not a leadership struggle occurs.

^ Leaders also emerge based on communication skill and competence, as certain communication behaviors function to create the conditions of leadership. This approach is most useful to communication scholars, because in it leadership is seen as a set of communication behaviors that are learnable and adaptable rather than traits or situational factors, which are often beyond our control.

S. C. Vohra: Very true. Different types of leadership beautifully explained. What I feel is that designated leaders are just officers or officials , not leaders in the truest form.

AZEEZ: Yes...we have some question and answer session for our group members at the End of the session

[13/07, 8:14 am] Jesudass Sir Phy: A leader

- should be emotionally balanced person.

-need high score Adversity quotient.

- Encourager.

- Fully Focused on solution

Leadership is a relationship. Much better than this we could say, Leadership is a lifestyle. Because, each one of us is a leader in one way or another way in one place or another place.

Since leadership is a lifestyle, our lifestyle is built on:

1. Love and discipline

2. Relationship

3. Culture

4. Purpose

5. Priorities

6. Accoubtability

7. Performance

8. Potential

Let us see its implications on our life style. How?

1. Love and discipline is foundation for all.

In terms of the workplace,

• Love as contributing to someone’s long-term success, and well-being and

• Discipline as promoting standards in order for an individual to chose to be at his or her best.

2. Without Strong Relationships, You Can’t Lead

Leadership is relationships. Consistently demonstrating good character, showing you care for others, and your willingness to share your expertise with others builds trust with your team.

3. Culture Starts with You, But Your People Prove It

The cultural values you live will be evident in the behavior of your people.

Four elements to consider when building a culture are:

• Safety ( emotionally safe),

• Unity (belonging and mutual respect),

• Positivity (belief in possibilities), and

• Energy (encouraged to produce and grow).

4. People Persevere Because of Purpose Not Pay

Purpose is derived from values, vision, and mission.

“The most important thing frontline managers can do is connect their specific team to the purpose of their work.”

By connecting people to the overarching purpose you elevate them to the possibilities their work contributes to the whole.

5. Goals Aren’t Achieved Without Priorities Put into Action

Break the goal down step-be-step. “To ensure you don’t unintentionally veer of course, come up with the top priorities that will help achieve your big goal.”

6. The Instant You Lower Your Standards Is the Instant Performance Erodes

Your standards define what an excellent culture looks like.

“Standards produce behavior, behaviors become habits, and habits lead to results.”

7. Accountability Is an Advantage, Make It Your Obligation

Accountability often has a negative sound to it. But that is usually the result of the lack of accountability from the beginning.

Accountability is meant to keep people on track and to exceed expectations. Feedback is done through direct dialogues.

“Being a leader of consequence, where accountability is at the center of everything you do, will lead to improved performance.”

8. Coaching Unlocks Potential and Elevates Performance

“While a team can function autonomously, a strong, dedicated leader plays an integral role in pushing people to new heights of development.

They do this by focusing on coaching their people for role development and going beyond the role.

To maintain the mindset of elevating others, say, “Prepare to serve.” On your way to work, as situations change during the day, as you enter your house at night, think “prepare to serve.” Your attitude will be reflected in your leadership behavior.

Therefore leadership is your life style, not your life. And therefore save your life from your life style. Leadership can never be a quality. It is a behaviour. Thats chsngeable according to the challange and situations.

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arojasmd · 1 year

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Liposuction In Los Angeles: Is It Worth It?

There are obvious benefits of liposuction in Los Angeles. A boost in self-confidence and self-esteem, while looking like the best version of yourself. All that fun stuff. But likewise, there are corresponding risks. And a lot of these can affect the quality of your life in a profound way. That now begs an important question: is it worth it? This article should have an answer to this question, so be sure to read on until the end.

Being a Viable Candidate One way to find an answer to this overarching question is to know whether or not you’re a viable candidate for liposuction in Los Angeles. And while there are a lot of other set requirements, the one thing you’ll need is to be in good health by practicing a proper diet and regular exercise.

The objective of liposuction is to get rid of unwanted fat. But that entire procedure will be futile if you have a lifestyle that is completely opposite to eating healthy and working out.

Knowing Proper Maintenance Practices While liposuction may bring about desirable results, the challenge now is to keep that new and fresh look. Once again, this ties into having the right lifestyle that will continue to help the achieve results. If you can’t do this, your liposuction procedure will be a huge waste of resources.

Doing Proper Research To know if liposuction will be worth it in the long run, you must know what you’re getting into. This is where ample and proper research comes in. Look up the best preparation practices, as well as the reputable facilities you will entrust to perform this life-changing procedure.

You can’t go into any of this blindly without having a plan. Likewise, you can’t have liposuction without doing research beforehand.

The Ideal Facility For Having Liposuction in Los Angeles You can now end your search for a liposuction facility if you’re in the LA area. Venice Beach Surgical Center is one of the go-to spots, thanks to the leadership of Dr. Augusto Rojas. He’s been in the industry for decades now and has become one of the most trusted names to perform such procedures. If you need more information, contact us.

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selfworthsam · 2 years

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6 Signs Your Relationship With Imposter Syndrome Is Toxic

Imposter syndrome affects us in our career, business, relationships, spirituality, health (mental and physical), and even our financial potential. It’s possible to feel like a phony in any one of these areas of life, despite evidence of success and measurable value - and the toxic signs can show up in many ways. In this article Self Worth Sam will address these questions: what is imposter syndrome? Why do you have it? What are the 6 signs your relationship with Imposter Syndrome is toxic.

What is imposter syndrome?

According to the dictionary and research, imposter syndrome is a psychological state characterized by self-doubt around an individual’s perception of their intelligence, achievements, and self-worth - despite obvious evidence to the contrary. People with imposter syndrome feel fearful they are going to be exposed by others for being an imposter or fraud.

These individuals can feel out of their depth, even though they have often had many years experience and accolades that indicate otherwise - and even though others around them have praised them several times for their effort, skill and intelligence. These individuals simply cannot internalize their success. They are often high-achievers who believe they are never quite good enough or deserving of their position, job title, a leadership role, etc. Humans of every background, sex, gender, race, religion and age are affected by imposter syndrome to some degree but no one is spared or is affect moreso than others (according to research: Prevalence, Predictors, and Treatment of Impostor Syndrome: a Systematic Review (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7174434/)

Why do you have it?

There are a few possible reasons, according to research including: the fear of being exposed as an intellectual fraud or being incompetent at something like your job, and also anxiety, introversion, insecurity, an attitude of internalization, low expectations of success, negative thoughts and feelings about yourself regarding your achievements, beliefs about whether you believe intelligence is malleable or fixed, the amount of anger, rules and conflict in the family, perfectionism, a need to please the family, the development of ��false-self”, alienation from the self and identification with the false-self, and self-importance otherwise known as narcissism.

That’s what the research says at least.

I am certain that the true cause of imposter syndrome results from trying to live up to someone else’s value system, rather than your own true values. Imposter syndrome is a result of trying to be someone else, and someone you're not ever meant to be. How can an individual ever feel a sense of authenticity, self-worth, and confidence if they continue to pursue values that do not truly inspire meaning for them, but instead pursue values that they feel obligated to hold themselves and judge themselves against? Not going to happen, right? Not until a person is clear on their own values will they shake imposter syndrome symptoms.

6 Signs Your Relationship With Imposter Syndrome Is Toxic

ONE

You deceive yourself. If you are in a relationship with someone else, and you deceive them, does the relationship grow or decay? It’s decays. A relationship involving deception towards your partner is not a healthy relationship. Would you deceive yourself if you knew it was decaying the relationship you have with yourself? Imposter syndrome is a case of self-deception. You believe your own story and the self-image you reflect upon. The original meaning of a narcissist comes from a Greek myth about a young man, Narcissis, who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pond and died because he couldn’t break the spell of self-absorption. Imposter syndrome casts a spell over us, one that can be broken. You don’t have to be caught in this spell of self-deception.

TWO

You procrastinate. Probably the most common sign of imposter syndrome often manifesting as hesitation is speaking up, going for leadership roles and job interviews, starting a business, and in general going after your dream. There is no magic pill for imposter syndrome or procrastination. However, a clear goal, a simple plan, a support system, a mentor, achievable tasks, realistic timeframes, and a reality check, will do wonders for overcoming both. Accept that you may never feel ready to make your move confidently. Accept that you will most likely make a few mistakes. Accept that it may take time to feel as confident as you want to be. Procrastination isn’t healthy. It doesn't do much for self-esteem either. However, breaking your goals down into achievable tasks and expanding your time horizon for success and confidence does increase self-esteem.

THREE

You feel intimidated by others. People with imposter syndrome often believe others are more intelligent, more skilled, and more everything than them - despite evidence that they can hold their own. Feeling intimidated by others isn’t a healthy way to live. It’s often an unrealistic perception founded on assumptions created by hearsay, quick judgements, and one-sided experience. If you are feeling intimidated by others, it’s usually because you are making a story up about someone else or a group of other people without seeing the whole picture about them. Don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions. Gather more information before comparing yourself to others. In most cases, each individual has things about them that cause you to feel they are better than you, however upon closer inspection, you will often find there are aspects to them that contradict your initial perception of them.

FOUR

You minimize yourself. No matter the time of day or night, those little things you voice to yourself can make a big impact, especially if you make negative, critical and self-defeating comments about yourself. Not healthy. Try countering the negative with some positives each time you notice yourself beating yourself up. Don’t just accept the negative self-criticism, dispute it, look for the opposite side of the story and where you were demonstrating your strengths.

FIVE

You withdraw into yourself. When you are hurting or going through some emotional issues, the worst thing you can do is crawl into a log and ruminate alone. One of the best things you can do is talk to someone about it. Get a second opinion. Talk to a mentor, friend, someone you trust or even a stranger will often do. There’s no disgrace in asking for help or asking for a second opinion about yourself. In most cases, the person you end up talking to will have probably been through imposter syndrome too, and will most likely have some wisdom to share. Forming positive relationships and having a meaningful conversation is often all we need to feel inner health.

SIX

You keep making excuses. Imposter syndrome is not going to go away if you keep making excuses for why you have it or why you can’t shake it. Excuses are toxic for the relationship you have with yourself. Rather than making excuses, start holding yourself to a new way of living. Drop the excuses about why you’re not good enough, and start showing up for yourself and those you serve. You don’t have to accept imposter syndrome as a way of life, instead you can inspire yourself to a new paradigm for being.

Read my latest book: How to Beat Imposter Syndrome and Be Confident available on Amazon in paperback, kindle and audiobook

Want to take the next step to beat Imposter Syndrome and be confident? Take my free online course

Dissolve your emotional blockages and gain new clarity and freedom. Schedule a private consultation with Self Worth Sam via Zoom Learn more or schedule a session Need a speaker for your podcast, meeting or event to talk about Imposter Syndrome? Download my press kit

#imposter syndrome #relationships #i feel like an imposter #self care

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wonda-cat · 3 years

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Misconceptions About Tommyinnit’s Character That Genuinely INFURIATE Me

Since the recent events following the second L’Manburg Festival and subsequent war, I’ve seen many, many hot takes surrounding the nature of Tommyinnit’s character on the SMP. Some of which annoyed me to the point where I felt compelled to sit down and actually write this. I’m going to only be highlighting the most common complaints or questions I’ve seen, one by one, in hopes of providing a better understanding of Tommy’s character for anyone interested. (I also briefly discuss Techno and Tubbo’s characters as well.)

If you’ve said similar things to what I’m going to be discussing below, please know that it’s perfectly understandable how you’d come to these conclusions. Some of these aspects of Tommy’s character are not always obvious; especially if being watched from another streamer’s POV. This may become quite lengthy, so bear with me for now.

“Tommy’s motives are all over the place. He can’t decide whether he wants the discs back or not.”

Tommy is actually one of the most motivationally consistent characters on the entire Dream SMP. Even Techno, someone completely confident in their ideals, does more motivational flipping than Tommy. From the very start of the story, Tommy has always cared for three things; L’Manburg, Tubbo, and his music discs. However, him caring for something is not itself a motivation.

Surprisingly enough, his motivation isn’t even just, ‘Get my discs back,’ like many assume it is. Tommy’s one true motivation, since the end of the Independence War, has always been, ‘Keep things the way they are now.’

Tommy’s one fatal flaw is that he is resistant to change and refuses to let go of the past. This is seen through all of his actions and words; in all conflicts involving him. This flaw is the drive to all of Tommy’s mistakes. Burning down George’s house, an action which resulted in him getting exiled, was done out of a desire to pull pranks the way he used to before the first war. His friendship with Ranboo started because Tommy said he reminded him of Tubbo, back before he was President.

Tommy still talks highly of Wilbur because he chooses to remember him as the wise, kind mentor who cared for him. This motive is the reason he defends L’Manburg so fiercely; it’s his memory of a better past. This is why he holds grudges more often than any other character; especially refusing to forgive Techno after he killed Tubbo during the Manburg Massacre.

It’s why Tommy falls under extreme distress whenever Tubbo or Quackity tell him that something will never be the same again. This motivation is entirely formed from an underlying desire for peace and comfort, something Tommy has been denied since being forced into a life wrought with war and death. To accept change, to Tommy, is painful and terrifying. But he will only ever truly be happy when he finally learns to let go.

“Why do the discs matter so much to Tommy? They’re not actually worth anything.”

Tommy’s discs are much more than just any ordinary pair of music discs. They were never important for their material worth, but for what Tommy was willing to sacrifice in order to keep them. Tommy is entirely what gives the discs their value.

Tommy also commonly operates under the Sunk-Cost Fallacy, wherein he’s invested too much of himself into something to just abandon it, even if it’s causing him problems. This mentality is a huge piece of what keeps him tied to both L’Manburg and to his discs. He’s sacrificed too much at this point to simply let them go. If he admits the discs are worthless, then he’s admitting that he wasted all this time and effort, just to keep them.

The discs also act as a constant source of hope for Tommy because they are directly tied with his motivations as a character. They’re something he’s had since the very beginning. They’re something he used to listen to with Tubbo on their shared bench.

To Tommy, they symbolize a life before war, filled with comfort and peace. They are a love letter to his country and his late mentor Wilbur. They are a physical representation of Tubbo’s companionship. They are the only thing, besides L’Manburg and his best friend, that gives him the hope that he can one day return things to the way they used to be.

This ideal, paired with Tommy’s refusal to let go, has left him ruthlessly pursuing the things he’s lost. Not his music discs, but his peace and comfort, his friendship, his country, his mentor Wilbur, and his life before war.

In his desperation to hold onto his prized possession, it has only hurt and pushed away the people that love him. If Tommy continues to ignore this reality, while still refusing to resolve his major flaw entwined with it, he will lose all that the discs had once stood for. He will lose his country, then his friend Tubbo, and then he will lose himself.

“Tommy never grows or learns from his mistakes. This makes him a badly written character.”

Characters do not have to constantly learn from their actions to be well-written. Tommy is one of the best examples of this. The fact that his growth is infrequent is the entire point of his character; it’s completely stemmed from his fatal flaw.

By addressing himself, he would be accepting change, something that terrifies him; something he stubbornly resists until he is absolutely forced to confront it. Contrary to popular belief, Tommy knows when he makes mistakes, but he pretends to be ignorant as to avoid facing reality. He digs his head in the sand despite knowing better, puppeteering the person he used to be during happier times, now gone.

In spite of his infrequent growth, the idea that Tommy still hasn’t learned anything isn’t quite correct either. Tommy, as of the last three plot streams, has shown incredible character development. By giving up his discs again, he had finally demonstrated that Tubbo is more important to him than his possessions. Speaking as a makeshift leader, he put aside his issues with others to rally them together against a common threat, something which Tommy had never been able to do before. He owned up to all of his mistakes openly, apologizing to everyone he’s ever hurt in one place.

He apologized to Tubbo after they were reunited and came to terms with the fact that Tubbo was forced to exile him without choice, finally forgiving him. He was kind to Sapnap and learned how to be his friend after months of bitter rivalry. And these are only a few examples. This isn’t to say Tommy has overcome/fixed everything because he clearly hasn’t. There are still major things Tommy needs to work through that remain unaddressed, the biggest being his complicated relationship with Technoblade.

“Tommy only cares about himself. He does everything in his power to be the hero, always putting himself in the center of attention, especially during Doomsday.”

Tommy, since the start of the L’Manburg War for Independence, has never set out to be a hero. Not once. He may fall into the role of the protagonist, but his identity as a hero was pushed onto him by others. Giving up the discs was his only option during the Independence War.

So when Wilbur called him a hero for it, Tommy said he didn’t feel like he was. During the November 16th War, Tommy again said he didn’t feel like a hero because he had lost what he thought was everything at the time. During exile, Tommy certainly knew he was no hero. And upon reuniting with Tubbo, he admitted to feeling like the farthest thing from it. That he’d hurt everyone and all he wanted to do now was fix it.

The day before Doomsday, Tommy only took a leadership position because no one else was willing to, filling the role for Tubbo, who was crumbling under pressure. He had no choice but to try to bring everyone together, or fight alone. Most viewers never saw this during Doomsday, but before the battle, almost everyone who had vowed to fight alongside L’Manburg had abandoned them the very next day. They were convinced it was going to be destroyed either way, no matter what they did, so they chose not to see it through to the end; ultimately leaving Tommy and those who remained to fight a losing battle, alone.

After about a third of the way through the battle, it became clear to everyone that they could do nothing to win. One by one, everyone stopped fighting and stood by to watch their country go up in smoke. Tommy was the only person on the battlefield who refused to stand down and give up. And so he took over the role as leader again, trying his best to keep them alive, to keep Tubbo hopeful; to keep fighting, no matter what.

However, what most people don’t realize, is that this isn’t Tommy trying to be a hero or force himself into the spotlight. This is Tommy trying to convince himself to keep going. Because whenever things start to look hopeless, Tommy simply chooses to ignore them. He puts on a happy face and soldiers through it because that’s all he knows how to do. Tommy, at his core, is someone who wants peace through stagnation. He doesn’t want to fight, although causing the occasional friendly conflict is how he finds fun. He doesn’t set out to purposely hurt others.

Tommy may come across as self-centered, but this is because he is an extremely extroverted character. He finds energy and joy in the attention of others, both good and bad. It’s why he’s always seeking the approval of others and, oftentimes, will destructively insert himself into another person’s life in order to find it.

Out of every character in the story, Tommy is the most drawn to praise and positive reinforcement. He is constantly seeking out mentors and friends because Tommy needs someone else to help him feel confident in his own identity and abilities. It’s why Wilbur was such a positive influence on him. His boisterous confidence has always been a front because if anyone were to actually hurt him, he knows it will make his self-esteem crumble instantly.

This is part of why Dream’s manipulation was so effective against him. By isolating him, he’s left without energy and looking to another person’s guidance. Tommy outwardly may seem independent and rude, but just under the skin, he’s unconfident and lost when he’s by himself. Tommy will only grow from this flaw when he finds his own identity and inner confidence; when he finally learns to be okay with being alone.

“Tommy goes to the festival solely to get his disc back and then tells Tubbo to give it away immediately after. That doesn’t make any sense.”

Before the screaming match between the two friends during the second L’Manburg Festival, Tommy had been in exile, manipulated by Dream for long enough to lose his will to carry on. It is because of him that Tommy’s reality becomes distorted, long after fleeing from his abuser. This mangling of ideals leads Tommy to subconsciously believe that L’Manburg and Tubbo are unsalvageable.

Therefore, the only thing he has hopes of retrieving are his discs, which are easier to manage than the latter two things. And so Tommy does reprehensible things at the behest of Techno in a vain hope of getting them back, going so far as to kidnap and torture for them. This ultimately culminates in a confrontation between the ex-friends, quickly turning violent. It is in this violence that we see Tommy has sunk to his absolute lowest point in his journey.

Swinging his axe, he nearly kills his friend as he delivers a string of words that cause the room to silence instantly. He says the discs were always worth more than his friend. Within the quiet of the room, Tommy is forced to reflect on everything he’s done. How he kidnapped and tortured Connor. How he accidentally drowned Fundy. How he traumatized Ranboo.

And now he’s hurt Tubbo, the one person he has always sought to protect; someone he vowed to never hurt. This realization causes Tommy to break. He’s so ashamed of himself that he can’t look at anyone. Tommy knows now that he is worse than anyone he’s ever hated.

With pain in his voice, he tries and fails to apologize to Tubbo in the moment. The only way he knows to redeem himself now is to prove to Tubbo, after everything, that he can still put the discs aside. And so he does.

“The fact that Tommy is still trying to get his discs back after L’Manburg was destroyed is unreasonable and ridiculous.”

Tommy deals with grief in an interesting way, doing something very similar to Techno. His grief almost instantly becomes anger and a drive to prove himself. It morphs into a need for vengeance in response to injustice, always.

After the destruction of L’Manburg, Tommy saying he wants the discs back is a double-sided motivator. The obvious side being: Tommy still needs them to feel comfort. The subtle side beneath it: Tommy is using them as an excuse to find Dream and kill him. To make him pay for helping destroy their home, hurting his friends, and abusing him in exile.

Upon the loss of his home, I’d also argue the discs have only grown more important to Tommy in the aftermath. Typically, in grief, people hold onto things that survive devastation far more than if the tragic event never occurred. If your eldest child dies, one may hold their surviving children tighter. If your house burns down, one may deeply treasure a box of items that survived the flames. Tommy’s desperation after losing so much is entirely understandable.

On top of this, the discs are still the core to Tommy’s fatal flaw. They are what keeps him from achieving total happiness, so him getting over this intrinsic part of himself so easily would make for an unsatisfying character arc. He still has to work for his happiness in order to change for the better.

To add, I’ve seen a lot of people complaining that Tommy is still prioritizing the discs over Tubbo, especially in that moment. And while I mostly agree, there are some interactions that stand out to me as being different between the pair that may imply otherwise. Tommy says a few times that despite L’Manburg being destroyed, he still has something left to lose; each time, turning to look at Tubbo.

This subtly implies that losing Tubbo would be as devastating as losing his home. Tubbo also never voices disagreement over Tommy’s continued pursuit of the item. However, Tubbo frequently does what he thinks will make others happy, so this doesn’t implicitly mean support for Tommy either. Besides these two things, this is still Tommy’s fatal flaw shining through, continuing to hurt others around him.

I only hope Tubbo can learn to stand up for himself and voice his real thoughts to Tommy now, after everything. It would provide at least some desperately-needed closure for Tubbo’s character.

“How could Tommy betray Techno like that? Techno told him upfront what he was going to do.”

While it’s true that Techno was obvious about his plans, Tommy was also just as upfront with Techno about what he thought of it. In fact, maybe even more so, considering Techno attempted to hide them from Tommy for a good portion of their partnership. Whenever Techno brought up the idea of destroying L’Manburg or hurting Tubbo, Tommy would always remind Techno that he didn’t want to hurt anyone. And that if Techno ever did, Tommy would be there to stand in his way. He never once stopped saying this.

Tommy’s two major positive character traits have always been his undying loyalty and his strength to never give up, even in the face of death. Two classically heroic qualities, both of which, ironically, reinforce his fatal flaw. His refusal to change makes him stubborn; stubbornness being the only quality that makes unwavering loyalty and extreme persistence feasible.

Because of these two traits, it was impossible from the start for Dream to completely break Tommy’s spirit and for Techno to get him to agree to anything too extreme. Despite this, Techno already had no hope of keeping Tommy on his side after the events of the day before the Festival. During it, Tommy had asked multiple times for Techno to give his word not to hurt anyone. That they’d only threaten to spawn a wither, get Techno’s remaining weapons in exchange, then leave. That’s it.

Techno avoided directly promising Tommy but still agreed not to regardless. So when Techno chose to spawn the wither anyway, despite Tommy urging them to leave multiple times, whatever trust Tommy had with him went completely out the window. Thus, when the threat was finally real, that Techno would make due on his promise to burn his home country to the ground and slaughter his friends, Tommy intervened. It would be unreasonable to expect Tommy not to stand against him in that moment, especially after his mental breakdown which ensued as a result of him nearly killing his best friend.

Adding salt to the wound on Tommy’s end, Techno decided to also align himself with Dream, someone Techno knew Tommy was afraid of. This might have been a way to purposely hurt Tommy. More likely, it was because Dream and him shared a common goal in the moment and Techno desperately needed allies.

However, the implication of Techno siding with Tommy’s abuser most certainly hurt him, regardless of its original intentions. This is possibly why Tommy kept insisting through Doomsday that Techno betrayed him, avoiding actually telling anyone the reason as to why. If he couldn’t find the words to describe what Dream did to him, even to Tubbo, he certainly wouldn’t be able to tell Techno either.

“Techno gave Tommy everything, only to be repaid with betrayal.”

This statement regarding Tommy is the one I see most often. (It is also the one I get the most heated about.)

Dream’s character is well known for his manipulation tactics against other characters; pitting them against each other, crushing them under his heel, bending their will to conform to his own. It’s what makes him an interesting villain. It’s something fun to discuss.

But is it still fun to discuss manipulation tactics if they’re so subtle, almost no one notices them? This is the paradigm Technoblade’s character falls into. While people know Techno for his laid-back personality, dry humor, and complex motivations, many fail to recognize him as a manipulator. The reason why this is so hard to spot is because it is mostly unintentional on behalf of the character. Dream performs his craft with intention, Techno does it without realizing.

As well as this being unwitting, it is sandwiched between Techno’s actual attempts to connect with Tommy and care for him. Thus, making the manipulation feel less damaging. The only problem is, this still hurts Tommy just as much, regardless of the intentions behind it. Especially after just escaping Dream, Tommy’s reality and sense of identity are horribly distorted. In this vulnerable state, he desperately needs healing and someone to help ground him. This is what makes him even more susceptible to Techno’s influence.

And because it is much subtler, it is harder to notice, and much harder to break free from. Despite Tommy claiming to hate Techno for what he did on November 16th, he still chose to flee to his house because it was the only place he could think of going, as well as being the safest area possible. After the failed execution, Techno mentioned potentially hurting Tubbo through a vengeance plot. Tommy voiced extreme distress over this, to which Techno threatened to kick him out of his house.

Tommy then says he’s fine being homeless because he doesn’t want anything to do with someone who would hurt his friend. This is when Techno decides to weaponize Tommy’s own trauma against him. To be fair to Techno again, Tommy never told him the extent of the abuse he suffered in exile. But Techno isn’t stupid. He knows Tommy is extremely afraid of Dream, and for good reason.

So he tells Tommy that if he were kicked out, he’d be defenseless. That if he were out there all alone, Dream would find him very easily. That Dream would drag him right back to Logstedshire in an instant. He notices the way Tommy reacts to this, how quickly he changes his mind about being kicked out. He continues to use this trauma repeatedly in order to keep Tommy under his roof, no matter how disagreeable he gets about Techno’s plans. He knows he can’t retrieve his weapons alone because he has no leverage.

Therefore, using Tommy like a wild card was a major side strategy. Techno knows it will hurt Tubbo by doing this and may make the President more willing to compromise. In addition to this, many of the strategies Techno utilizes are Narcissistic manipulation tactics, categorized by their intent to keep the victim in a position below the abuser in terms of worth. This includes Techno using the silent treatment as a punishment, something which hurts Tommy since he craves affection from others.

He also attempts to isolate Tommy by telling him he doesn’t need anyone else; that everyone abandoned him during exile (something which Dream has also said.) He tells Tommy that he’s only alive because Techno is there to defend him and supply for him, as well as constantly reminding Tommy to not let any compliments he receives get to his head. These are both meant to make Tommy depend more on Techno and doubt his own abilities. Techno also occasionally engages in subtle gaslighting, attempting to sow doubt in Tommy’s mind about his relationships with Tubbo, Quackity, Ranboo, and Fundy.

It’s also vital to keep in mind what exactly separates Dream and Techno in this regard. The most important thing being that Techno actually does care about Tommy. He trusts him and wants to earnestly help him. He knows Tommy has been traumatized and abused in some way, but he doesn’t know how to help because he’s not that great with people. It also doesn’t help that Tommy is unable to tell anyone what happened.

In the end, Techno really does want to be a shield for Tommy. Despite debating handing Tommy over to Dream, it’s more likely Techno was using this as bait for Dream to waste his favor on something useless. After all, he could always save Tommy, should he ask for him to. Techno’s warnings about Tubbo and L’Manburg also come from a place of love, as Techno was personally hurt by them and wants to protect Tommy by telling him to leave it behind. However, just because something is done out of love, doesn’t mean it’s automatically helpful or good for someone.

There’s no better example of this than in Techno’s most damaging and frequently used tactic: ‘Buy Their Love,’ a technique commonly used on children by narcissistic parents. At first glance, nothing seems wrong. Techno gives Tommy most things he asks for; providing him with food, gifts, protection, and a place to sleep. The manipulation within this arises when the act of kindness is counted as a debt against the person who receives it. That by receiving so many good things, they would be ungrateful to go against their abuser. Doesn’t matter if they emotionally or physically hurt you, they gave you gifts, so you should shut your mouth and allow the abuse to continue.

Whenever Tommy speaks out against Techno’s violent actions or his plans to hurt his friends, Techno would frequently bring up all his ‘good deeds.’ He consistently reminds Tommy that he could’ve just thrown him back to Dream, but he was too kind. That he went out of his way to give him gear, food, and a roof over his head. That he was kind so Tommy should be quiet and let Techno plot to hurt the people he loves. Or else he’s selfish and ungrateful. Or else Techno will take all of his gifts back and leave him with nothing.

Knowing this, it is horrifying seeing people justifying this behavior by mocking Tommy’s character and calling him ungrateful using this very same fallacy. (Especially for those who grew up being controlled by this very tactic.)

It is through knowing Techno’s use of the ‘Buy Their Love,’ method that makes Tommy’s, ‘I am worthy,’ response, not one of betrayal, but one of triumph. This moment is a major positive character change for Tommy for many reasons. When Tommy decides to stand against Techno, this causes him to fall back on his most reliable tactic. He insults Tommy and then asks for the Axe of Peace back. Instead of caving, Tommy refuses.

By keeping the Axe of Peace, Techno’s final gift to him, he is not only rejecting the destruction of all he loves, but he is breaking free from Techno’s manipulation. He says, ‘I am worthy,’ because now he knows his own self-worth. He doesn’t need Techno or Dream to decide it for him. This moment is Tommy finally breaking free from not just Techno, but Dream as well. He is finally free.

“Tommy was only using Techno and never thought of him as a friend.”

Tommy and Techno’s relationship is complicated, which is why pretending only one side was in the wrong isn’t entirely accurate. Their friendship, in summary, is tragic when fully examined; being doomed from the start. Techno and Tommy are brought into conflict often because they are simultaneously so similar and so different. Techno and Tommy both deal with grief in the same way. They both long for a life of peace and comfort. They each long for companionship, hold their ideals in kind, and are both naturally resilient in the face of adversity.

Yet, their personalities and courses of action are polar opposites. What makes this friendship one of tragedy is the fact that not just Techno, not just Tommy, but both of them, actually thought the other was their friend. They had each wanted to be the other’s friend since the day they’d met. Tommy never stopped wanting to impress Techno and get on his good side, even if his methods annoyed the target of his affections. Him calling Techno ‘The Blade’ was never meant to dehumanize him; it was a title of adoration.

Along the same spectrum, Techno is a character who generally longs for friendship, but pretends not to after a lifetime of hurt. He’s been burned too many times, and so he chooses to stay alone. Techno is generally very reclusive and awkward around others, so when he likes someone or cares for them, it’s noticeable from a mile away. Their friendship has a very brotherly dynamic, and the fact that Techno allowed him to stay in his house, implies Tommy is a step above pretty much everyone else but Phil. Putting up with Tommy’s shenanigans is itself a sign of affection.

However, when their goals come into conflict and the two start to drift apart, they deal with this in massively different ways. With Tommy devastated and enraged, and with Techno withdrawn and hurt, once more burned by someone he slowly learned to trust. They were once both friends, neither one was pretending. Yet, both of them thought their companionship was unreciprocated.

On top of this, both Techno and Tommy were using each other. Techno used Tommy to get his weapons back by manipulating and lying to him. Tommy used Techno to protect him from Dream and get his discs back. They each hurt the other and refused to listen, both shouting valid complaints at the other that they refused to hear.

Their relationship is also deeply affected by the themes of vengeance in the current arc, which is something I haven’t seen many people talk about. Most of the current conflicts this past month have resulted from characters being unable to forgive, resorting to revenge as a way to cope with loss. L’Manburg was the first to initiate this, through the influence of Quackity. The Butcher Army was formed to punish Techno for a war crime he committed. And while this is perfectly reasonable, what isn’t is the way the incident was orchestrated. It was an unchecked abuse of power to execute someone without a fair trial, as well as punishing Phil, who was not involved whatsoever.

This was also particularly unfair to Techno, as many projected their anger at Wilbur onto him. Even Tommy did this, finding himself unable to blame his late mentor, so Techno was the next best option for him. However, it was Techno’s response to this that was interesting. He chose a path of vengeance, the same way L’Manburg did, after vowing to live his life as a pacifist. By doing this and following through, he hurt everyone, not just the people he claimed needed to pay for their actions.

Instead of just picking the weed in the garden, he set the entire flower bed on fire. Through L’Manburg’s destruction, he gets what he wants. He destroys their government, but he also scars the earth and shatters the sky. He leaves uninvolved people homeless, deeply hurting Ranboo, Eret, and especially Ghostbur. Philza turns to vengeance as well, taking his anger at the death of his son out on people who do not deserve it.

Tubbo, a day before the second Festival, was given another chance to seek revenge when Techno had spawned a wither on their land. Instead, all Tubbo could say was, ‘We do nothing … It’s pointless, vengeance. It’s poisonous.’ By doing this, he has managed to be a bigger person than even Techno was, with the strength and maturity to turn the other cheek. And now with Tommy’s plan to kill Dream, the conflict continues to escalate; only ending where forgiveness begins.

It’s sad to think, if Techno didn’t choose a path of vengeance and Tommy was strong enough to tell Techno how he really felt, the two might have remained friends. Who knows? Maybe they still can.

“Tommy was the one in the wrong. Techno was right to destroy L’Manburg.”

Techno is a lovely character. He’s well-written, engaging, funny. He has many values and quirks that are generally relatable and interesting. His motives are deeply understandable and sympathetic. And yet, he is perfectly capable of being evil, in just the same way that Tommy can be deeply flawed despite being the protagonist.

I’m sure most people already know that Technoblade is a villain. Or more accurately, a tragic antagonist. Techno (the streamer) knows he is and he’s having fun playing that part. Just because a character is morally in the wrong doesn’t mean their values and ideology don’t have merit. The best character I could compare Techno to is Thanos.

They have completely valid concerns and points, but it is the way in which they go about achieving their goals that makes them into evil people. And despite this, many will still agree with them, even after they do something reprehensible. Contrary to popular belief, Technoblade’s tendency towards violence isn’t a good thing, no matter how you look at it. Even Techno himself knows this, that’s why he decided to reform and become a pacifist with Phil. He was not a good influence on Tommy, on top of also manipulating him.

Techno caving to hatred and vengeance makes him no different to the resolve of the Butcher Army that pursued him. It is precisely the fact that he went on to destroy the home of not just Tommy, but also Ranboo and Ghostbur, that puts him in the wrong. He is allowed to despise all government and remove himself from it, but the moment he decided to insert himself into someone else’s country and take their home from them in order to destroy it, he abandoned an integral principle to his own values.

This principle being: ‘Choice.’ The act of letting others be free to decide what they want for themselves. It is a huge component to the concept of anarchy, the freedom to choose. And yet Techno robbed this from, not just the ruling powers that hurt him, but individuals who were not even involved in the first place. He justifies this by saying it’s for their own good, that he’s helping; while acting in a self-serving manner.

In his anger, he became the punisher, stooping lower than L’Manburg has ever gone. There is also the issue of Dream weaponizing Techno to destroy the one thing that has been a thorn in his side since the very start, manipulating Techno’s grief to achieve his goals. Tommy’s biggest sin in the Doomsday War was standing up to Techno and getting in the way of him hurting his friends and destroying his home.

This isn’t to say Tommy is perfect, because he still hurt everyone he ever loved. But the only way he knew to redeem himself was to fight for what he knew was right. And so he chose to fight alongside his best friend, Tubbo. However, just because Techno is in the wrong doesn’t mean others are wrong for wanting to side with him, or by finding joy in his ruthlessness. The biggest appeal of Techno is the fact that he opposes people like Tommy.

He knows how to put people in their place and it’s satisfying to watch. Some people love rooting for villains and it’s entertaining to see a being with so much power crush everyone else down so effortlessly. Especially because it’s so easy to sympathize with Technoblade. Sympathetic villains are the best kind; where they have understandable motivations, relatable flaws, people they love, and something they can lose. Dream is a villain you love to hate. Technoblade is a villain you hate to love. Simple as.

Despite the destruction of L’Manburg being either devastating or fantastic depending on who you are, there is one major good it has done. It has pushed Tommy more towards the completion of his character arc. By losing one of the three things he loves, it will be impossible for him to pretend any longer. He will be forced to confront reality very soon. It all depends on whether Tubbo will have to die first for him to finally see it.

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celestewilllow · 2 years

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Hiii!🖤💘

I’m m on my self love journey can u tell me about Pluto conjunction Mars,Pluto trine mercury,Pluto trine sun,Pluto opposite Jupiter my Mars is in Scorpio 6th.

Hiii!! Hopefully, you are doing well and taking good care<3.

Now to answer your question, tho I'm a beginner I'll give you my views:). I'm assuming you're talking of your natal aspects.

Pluto conjunct mars- Pluto is known as the god of the underworld. it characterizes harsh realities, a truth seeker, and it's the dark night before the light. Mars is a highly volatile planet.

Having both in conjunction can give you a charged energy. You are possibly built to go thru hard times with a never give up attitude. Having a huge drive to go after your goals is common here. Inner resilience. achieving anything. You go, girl!!

Pluto trine Mercury- Pluto the truth seeker meets the communicator. Your intellect runs deep. communication with a certain level of power and intensity. Thru communication, you can possibly sense hidden objectives or motives of others. Always wanting to uncover smthg or the other, be it academics or just situations.

Pluto trine Sun- Wow you with all the confident aspects!!. This one gives you powerful charisma, inner confidence, and knowledge of your worth. But to get to your self-power you might go thru some death-rebirth situations. Nevertheless, a powerful placement. Always trying to succeed. do remember to take breaks and regenerate <3

Pluto opp Jupiter- You might sometimes have a god complex feeling(haha), just make sure it's channeled in the right way. Religion /spirituality may or may not play a part in your journey to the higher self. sometimes forgiving can be hard, especially with those that hurt you, but have faith, my love.

mars in Scorpio- Great libido and passion, inner strength, "femme fatale". Babe you are the go-getter. from this, you don't mind putting people in their place for crossing the line with you.

mars in 6th- generally ambitious but be aware of going after dangerous things. striving really hard for perfection. As much as you like the adrenaline you also might prefer home sometimes(just my observation).

man, you with all the leadership and charismatic aspects here. I want to remind you that you are a fucking powerful human, never ever forget that. You have some of the most powerful placements ever, with all the mostly Pluto influences, you could be interested in healing trauma and discovering yourself. If you feel like you've been wronged, speaking for yourself and letting go of the resentment helps. Remember, to reclaim your power and to be 'THE MOVEMENT' in itself, you need to let certain toxic things die. Give yourself the time and space to heal and then get we can back into the grind. You build your empire and I see no hesitation there.

From your chart, your assertiveness really helps you but when it's important don't forget to ask for help, it's always available<3.

Wishing you all luck and loads of healing on your self-love journey. We all got this<3

Hopefully, I could be of help. Have a good/night :)

#pluto #pluto talks #astro observations #pluto rambles

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pi-creates · 3 years

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I hope people don’t mind – but I have a theory… one that’s been mulling around in my head for ages but didn’t really know if people would be interested in hearing it. I shared my thoughts with a few people and they seemed supportive of me sharing my theory further, so here we go.

Basically, I feel like something that the fandom deems as crucial to Violet’s character might actually be a misclassification. The short version of this post is that I theorise that Violet doesn’t have excessive abandonment issues (at least not to a significantly greater extent than any of the other characters), and what she is actually displaying is signs of survivor’s guilt.

From a behavioural view point, there’s a lot of overlap between both issues – withdrawing from others, fixating on other’s and their actions, being irrational at times as a defence mechanism, and applying unrealistic expectation on oneself and others. But the difference is the reasons behind those behaviours.

Someone with abandonment issues assumes that everyone will inevitably leave them. It leaves them insecure and assuming that they are somehow at fault for other’s leaving them. The thing is, this form of dependence on others tends to lead people to constantly be seeking approval, and they reel their neck in when they feel like someone is not going to agree with them. Basically, they become people pleasers who need constant reassurance that you aren’t planning on leaving them – but at the same time they keep things shallow, because they don’t feel like they can expose anything that the other person might leave them for. Then if things are on the rocks, they sabotage, if you push someone away before they reject you, then it doesn’t hurt as bad if they decide to leave. It’s a self-destructive cycle that centres around the person being anxious and not having trust in others to accept them as they are.

And while parts of that fits Violet, other parts don’t. I don’t feel like Violet comes across as insecure in what she offers to others or being afraid to have a contrary opinion. In fact, she seems quite confident in her skills and choices. There isn’t any hesitance to bring up tough questions or to speak her mind when she doesn’t like something. She takes on a leadership role and makes decisions that she knows the bulk of the group don’t agree with at that point. It doesn’t come across as someone who is afraid that those people she’s disagreeing with will leave her. Basically, I don’t feel like she acts out of fear that people will leave her – she does express not liking that people leave and believes that certain levels of loss are inevitable, but it feels like cynicism rather than fear.

A big example of this is her asking Clementine in the first card game “Out of all of us here, which one is going to die first?”… to me, that doesn’t read as someone afraid of loss, it reads as someone who views loss casually and also doesn’t feel compelled to sugar-coat the morbidity of such thoughts to a newcomer or old friends.

But if you look at something like survivor’s guilt – it has some similar behavioural patterns, but those behaviours stem more from guilt than fear. They survived a situation when others did not, and I don’t think there’s any denying that everyone who’s still alive in an apocalypse situation has outlived a friend/family member, and potentially also been there when they died. And those thoughts of “Why did I survive when they didn’t?”, “Could that have been different?”, and “Was it my fault?” eats away at them. They start picking apart every detail of an event and questioning if they were responsible, or if someone could have done something to prevent it.

It doesn’t matter if it’s logical or not, they fixate on the idea that they could somehow have changed the events if only they said/did something different, they should have known the outcome and stopped it. It’s irrational, it’s placing the blame on oneself or others for situations that they had no means to avoid or predict. And all of that guilt and stress makes the people irritable, withdrawn, and regretful. They get so stuck in that moment of loss that they don’t move forward. They lose interests they used to have, they feel disconnected, they don’t trust people or the world to be safe or fair, they pull away from others...

And I think this sounds like Violet. It makes more sense with how she talks about her grandmother and the twins – we hear how she processes these events. She tells us what she was doing when someone died (or she believed they died) and how she should have been doing something else – for her grandmother she should have called for help, for the twins she should have been there and not in the greenhouse. And since we hear more about the twins, she goes further and talks about how she also questions the actions made by others – she feels like she could have changed the outcome if she was there instead of Brody or Marlon. When in reality, she couldn’t have known, she can’t change what happened, and it wasn’t her fault that those people died (or were taken).

I feel Violet did lose herself to a degree in those fixations, that’s why she withdraws and seems apathetic about things until after we learn that Minnie is still alive. Some of that guilt is somewhat absolved when it becomes clear that Minnie isn’t dead, it opens up the possibility of fixing her perceived ‘wrongs’ of the past (e.g., out surviving her). She talks about not liking arts and crafts – but she makes you a pin. She suddenly wants to dance with you when we had no indication this was an interest of hers before. She sings a song that she clearly used to hold to high regard when Minnie sang it – though we never hear her sing or hear her talk about her own voice. She’s a different person once the guilty moment is re-framed as something she can fix. Those interests she lost before are suddenly back, or maybe she’s just more open to reevaluate things and move forward with new interests.

And I think this also explains part of Violet’s ire in the captured route – it’s not just that she feels like you chose someone over her, it’s a literal replay of the thing she felt guilty about for years. She’s in Minnie’s shoes, but this time the people at the school know she was taken and not killed at the school – they could have stopped it in the way she wished she could have done with the twins. Then Clem shows up, and she isn’t exhibiting the same crushing guilt that Violet carried for so long when this happened to her friends – and that has to hurt.

Not only does the situation suck, but she’s being confronted with someone who isn’t coping with the “loss” of an important friend in the same way she did. I feel like it would only be logical for Violet to wonder why, and she is also clearly not in a good frame of mind and will come up with some of the worst possible answers.

Is she not as important to the others as Minnie was to her? Is she not worth the same emotional devastation? Was she wrong to feel the way she felt, or is Clem wrong for not feeling that way now?

The situation may be different, but after dealing with the traumatic experience of being captured, seeing Minnie again, and being manipulated into behaving – I don’t think Violet can think clearly enough to realise the differences of the situation. Clem isn’t dealing with the same level of guilt because her method of coping with the tragedy is immediate action… an option that Violet never had. It has nothing to do with Violet not being worth the same devastation as the twins, though I bet it still feels that way to her. So not only does the perceived betrayal sting worse, she also is being told she has the option of protecting Minnie by going along with the Delta – it just feeds into her preexisting guilt that she didn’t save her before, so of course she’s going to act in a way that she believes will make up for it.

And yeah… that’s my theory. Whether you agree or not, I’d be interested in hearing other’s thoughts on this – especially when I’m very aware that the abandonment narrative is seen as near universal amongst the fans. It just happens to not have been my initial stance, and I dunno, maybe an alternate point of view will be interesting to you guys.

#twdg #twdg talk #twdg theory #twdg violet #this is a long one #and i apologise for that

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masterjedilenawrites · 3 years

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What clone boys (+ the bad batch boys) looking for in their s/o? What is their ideal s/o?

Well, I kinda sorta went nuts with this question and got just a liiiitle carried away... oops...

Cody would be impressed by someone who could take charge of a messy situation or unruly group of people. He'd like someone who is independent and self-sufficient; he recognizes he may not always be there for them and wants to know they can take care of themselves. When he is around, he wants them to feel like a team, partners who are in sync, share the same goals, and make up for what the other lacks. He is attracted to good leadership skills, but turned off by cockiness.

Rex needs someone he can walk through life with side-by-side as equals, no exhausting power dynamics. He'd like someone who is dedicated to their beliefs and goals, but also someone who knows how to let loose and have a bit of (responsible) fun. He wants to know he can be himself around them, whether it's having an honest, soul-baring conversation or just acting really silly for no reason than because they can. He is attracted to good-humored attitudes, but turned off by shallow-ness.

Wolffe would be into someone with style and sass, someone who isn't afraid to speak their mind or stand up for what's right. He'd like someone who is fearless and passionate, but also full of hope, who will meet his glass-half-empty attitude with unwavering and inspiring optimism. He may butt heads with his S/O from time to time, but they keep him honest and he does appreciate them for it, even if he looks unamused. He is attracted to wit, but turned off by self-centeredness.

Fox likes someone who is warm and friendly, someone who embodies the spirit of the word home. They would need to be dependable, loyal, and a real sweetheart. He is a true romantic at heart and would continue to "woo" his S/O even after they got together, so they would need to be appreciative of such gestures. After a tough day or mission, he'd rather go home to someone who can help him relax and maybe laugh a little. He is attracted to stability, but turned off by laziness.

Fives would fall for someone with a zest for life and a great sense of humor. They don't need to be chipper all the time; in fact, he appreciates someone who takes things seriously and who will fight for what is right, even when it's hard. But he also needs someone he can have fun with, who can find the joy in any situation, and maybe even get into a bit of innocent trouble from time to time. They would be his best friend. His other half. He is attracted to liveliness but turned off by ditziness.

Jesse is drawn to the sweet, innocent types, someone who would get flustered by his flirting in the cutest of ways. He likes the feeling of being depended on and would take that duty very seriously. He's secretly a sensitive guy and would need someone he feels safe with, who would listen to his feelings without judgment and encourage him to be the best he can be. He really doesn't want to argue with his S/O. He is attracted to pretty smiles and turned off by stubbornness.

Kix admires someone who isn't afraid of honest, hard work, who will not hesitate to roll up their sleeves and do what is needed. But he'd also like someone with a flirty side, who could really surprise him and keep his days interesting. It's important to him that his S/O gets along with his brothers in the 501st, even allowing their free time to be spent with the battalion. He is a family-oriented guy and would need his partner to be, too. He is attracted to spontaneity, but turned off by recklessness.

Tup would like to be with someone who is more reserved, who can be a constant and steady presence in his life without being overwhelming or controlling. He is a bit withdrawn and struggles to feel understood sometimes, so he'd need someone who is patient with him, and comfortable with a less-intimate relationship. He'd be intrigued by someone creative or artistic, as well, and would be their biggest fan. He is attracted to gentleness and turned off by impulsiveness.

Hardcase would dig someone who can keep up with him, someone who is vibrant and always ready for an adventure. He wouldn't mind if they were chaotic or didn't have their life figured out; they could grow and learn together. When others try to hold him back, his S/O would encourage him to keep pushing; they'd be his cheerleader, and he'd be theirs. He finds it really sexy when someone puts themselves out there, both physically and emotionally. He is attracted to spunk and turned off by passiveness.

Dogma prefers someone who is rational and level-headed, maybe a little book-smart or nerdy. He wants to be able to have interesting and meaningful conversations with someone, about anything and everything. He likes someone who takes on quiet responsibilities, not needing to be seen in order to help. He also likes a level of tenderness; nothing too flirty or passionate, just simple and caring. He is attracted to humility and turned off by emotional reactions.

Echo has a soft spot for someone who is charismatic but compassionate, someone who uses their people-driven attitude to be hospitable and generous. He'd like to be with someone who's a little more outgoing than him, but not someone he'd have to keep up with. They would need to be polite and thoughtful, and always willing to communicate, even when it's awkward. He would want to share everything with them. He is attracted to candor but turned off by demanding attitudes.

Hunter wants someone who is easygoing and laid-back, who is uncomplicated and doesn't get caught up in drama or chaos. Someone who makes it clear what they think and what they want, rather than withdrawing or leaving him to make his own assumptions. They would be easy to be in a relationship with. But he does enjoy a good adventure, so it's important that they are active in that regard, too. He is attracted to wholesomeness and turned off by high-maintenance personalities.

Wrecker would be smitten with someone who meets his strength and brutality with softness and gentleness, who is a good balance for his rather intense way of living. They can't be timid in any way, though, because he'll challenge them to try new things. As long as they're a good sport, even if they're out of their element, he'll be very happy. They'd need to have a nice laugh, too, and he'd make it his personal mission every day to hear it. He is attracted to femininity and turned off by cowardliness.

Crosshair is interested in someone who lives their life honestly and sincerely, who is deeply kind but won't let themselves be walked over. Someone who accepts him for who he is but also challenges him when he's being too stubborn or unfair. They would be his rock in life, a person he will always seek out to have by his side. Their maturity puts him at ease and he never has to worry about them or doubt his worth in their eyes. He is attracted to confidence but turned off by popularity.

Tech would fancy someone who looks at the world with wide eyes, who asks questions and listens with their whole heart. They do not need to be super smart or an academic, but they do need to have curiosity and passion. He'd bond with someone over shared interests, but would be equally thrilled to learn something new from someone knowledgeable in other areas. Looks would hardly matter to him; it's their mind he'd fall in love with. He is attracted to talent and turned off by apathy.

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sk-lumen · 5 years

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How to Get (and Keep) Your Life Together 101

Here’s a quick masterlist of all the tips, hacks and advice that stuck with me from reading so many articles, videos and research. Feel free to ask me any questions, or add tips of your own. 💜

Hydration: Make sure every day you stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water, green tea, black tea. You see this everywhere but it’s true. Just drinking water wil do wonders for your skin and your overall body health.

Nutrition: Maintain a healthy diet by letting go of toxic “restrictive” diet culture and realizing that food is sacred fuel for your sacred body, so offer your body the best! Eat lots of vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds; lots of wholefoods. Incorporate smoothies into your mornings for extra dose of vitamins. Practice mindful, conscious eating, be there in the moment when you are eating, taste the food, enjoy the experience of it. Meditate over your relationship with food and try to work through any unhealthy beliefs.

Exercise: Pick one or multiple forms of exercise that suits your schedule, lifestyle and personality; whether it’s jogging twice a week, going to the gym daily or even just a fresh walk every evening. Pick what is suitable for YOU and keep it part of your life. DYI your own gym routine or hire a trainer; train at home or in the gym; whatever works best for you.

Growth Mindset: Maintain a positive mindset that is always open and curious to learning new things, trying new skills and ever willing to improve itself. Redirect your attention from drama, gossip and toxic comparison beliefs to healthy ones; unfollow accounts online or delete all your social media if that’s what you need. Recreate yourself if that’s what you want. Focus on YOUR growth! Make a habit of reading new books, watching TedTalks, documentaries, etc. Look at educating yourself as a way to invest in yourself, a way to honor yourself. Maintain curiosity in your heart for the ways of the universe. Stay humble and graceful in the face of adversity, but never give up on your dreams, failed attempts are only lessons for improvement and the only true failure is giving up. As long as you keep going you’re still winning. Bonus tip: comparison is self harm, and a denial of your own power; so remember that nobody can be you and that’s a good thing. You can only be you, so make it count and honor yourself!

Relationships: Don’t cling to relationships and don’t be afraid to lose people. Be your authentic self at all times, and do not be afraid to intimidate people or be too much! Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter. Know that the friends/partners that are meant for you, will stay or will find their way back to you. Be mindful of the dynamic in a relationship, and be self-loving enough to walk away from what is toxic, unhealthy, restrictive, disrespectful, etc. Forgive those that wronged you, but tolerate no mistreatment; you can forgive them from afar, but make sure they’re no longer a part of your life.

Focus & Goals: Keep a journal and as frequently as you can, write down bullet lists of to do lists, goals, dreams, daily reflections, aspects of yourself to improve upon, positive affirmations, wishlist etc. - in other words, brainstorm all the things whirling around in your head regarding your own life. Remember all those things you’ve wanted to do? Bucketlists, reminders, curiosities, etc? Keeping a journal, staying focused on your goals, checking progress and practicing positive affirmations will transform your life.

Fashion: Elevate your wardrobe to a whole other level by sitting down and figuring out what your style actually is. Play around in your journal by creating a collage of your favorite colors, textures, patterns, styles, outfit combos and accessories. Mix and match, figure out what your aesthetic is. Refine, polish, remove what doesn’t click. (You can find a bunch of videos on YT for organizing clothes and being effortlessly fashionable/put together.) When you reorganize your wardrobe according to the above, you can easily mix and match anything because your wardrobe makes sense and it’s already planned out. Bonus tip: do your laundry the same day every week (ie. Saturday) and do a wardrobe prep on Sundays for the upcoming week; so that at any moment you can be ready in five minutes looking perfectly polished, and avoid the whole ordeal of being stressed/rushed and not knowing what to wear.

Skincare and haircare: Golden advice - invest in natural products/oils/ingredients instead of investing in brands. Why? Because otherwise you’re paying for a concept instead of actual health benefits for your body. Try natural soaps, oils (shea butter, coconut oil, argan, avocado, jojoba, rosehip, etc), and water extracts (rosewater, hazelwater) for toner. Coconut oil and argan oil is particularly famed for hairgrowth and shine. Castor oil as well helps hairgrowth, including for brows or lashes. Rosehip and shea heal discolorations, scars and marks. Do your research and try out what fits you, your skin will thank you later. I’ve been using natural products & oils for 9+ years and people always compliment how clear, smooth & glowy my skin is. Bonus tip: if you don’t use sunscreen already, try to incorporate it into your routine; just make sure it has gentle, non-harmful ingredients (for both yourself and the environment.

Etiquette, manners, poise, posture: Watch videos, read books or listen to audiobooks about confidence, proper etiquette, leadership skills, how to make people listen when you speak, etc. There are things which are so intuitive, obvious and logical, and yet simply becoming aware of them and having the science of it explained will transform your perspective (and the way you carry yourself).

Finances: Perform a monthly financial review to make sure you know where you are, what your budget is. Make a plan for backup funds, or savings for travels, or new tattoos, or a house, or whatever you want. It doesn’t have to be complicated, you can keep things simple by listing your expenses in five categories (Necessities, groceries, luxury, savings, free/remaining funds). Keep track of your expenses or habits, there are even apps that show statistics or analysis for easy use. The point here is to stay on top of your own finances: know how much are the monthly necessities (rent/mortgage/etc), know what has been payed and keeping receipts, knowing when things need to be paid, etc.

Integrity: This means knowing yourself, having standards, knowing what your boundaries are, what you are willing and not willing to do. When you know yourself and know your worth, you won’t ever tolerate or accept anything less. Know what your principles, values, beliefs are and hold them firmly because it is what you stand for. At the same time, it is important to keep an open mind to growth and improvement, but not so much that any persuasive argument will change your mind. Hold your own, but be gracious to other perspectives. And through it all remember - only you know what’s right for you, what’s best for you. Literally nobody else but you can know what’s in your best interest!

Efficiency & Improvement: This ties in with growth mindset but in a more practical way; make sure that you’re always leaving open space for improvement in your life, don’t ever just settle down/get stuck/let yourself sink into complacency. Know that you can always change anything! Make a habit of frequently reviewing aspects of your life (ex. via journaling) to see whether there’s anything you can make more easy, more efficient. Instead of spending hours grocery shopping, check out shops online where your favorite products can be home delivered in a snap. Instead of driving to a vet for your pet, have a call in. Setting up recurring payments for finances also counts. Literally any process or activity whereby you can automatize a service, delivery, payment, etc. will help you in the long run, so you can focus more on enjoying life, instead of wasting time with Trivial Adult Things.

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callistolivia · 4 years

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Interpreting Jupiter

“The most beautiful and most profound emotion we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. It is the power of all true science. To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and most radiant beauty which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms – this knowledge, this feeling, is at the centre of true religiousness“

–– Albert Einstein; Jupiter in Aquarius in the 8th house, Pisces Sun, Sagittarius Moon

Each of the planets represent principle dimensions of the human psyche. Mercury is our logical mind, Venus our heart, Mars our aggression, the Moon our soul and emotional mind, the Sun our ego, Saturn our inhibitions, and then of course, there is Jupiter which demonstrates how we feel mystical, religiousness, and larger than life. Jupiter in the birth chart illustrates our belief system, worldviews, and how those two concepts work for us in receiving opportunities, grace, and well-being in life. We can explore the sensations of overwhelming wonder the unknown; our ability to accept or reject higher order, the trust we have in something greater working in our favour. Jupiter shows us our qualities that require little effort and we often take for granted because they are so aligned within us. Even the most Mercurial, cynical, or rigid types can look to Jupiter to get a sense of their optimism, well-being, and what awakens that feeling of the mystical. In Jupiter’s positive expression, it entails a powerful relationship with higher power and the universe’s plan. It grants the individual with optimism and active aim to improve oneself. In Jupiter’s negative expression, we see blind confidence and belief, gullibility, irresponsibility, and indulgence.

Jupiter transits all twelve signs over the course of twelve years which means it only moves into a new sign year. This also means everyone born in the same year as you will likely share the same Jupiter placement and it also suggests a tendency for your peers to share a similar inner belief system.

Jupiter in the Elements

Fire Connection with higher self and higher order comes from ability to relate to the divine; control over will, creation, and relationship with God or universe. Tendency towards grace with these concepts because of confidence and innate optimism. Opportunities for personal growth come from generosity, creativity, positive attitude, and taking initiative.

Earth Connection with higher self and higher order comes from experiences with the sense; touch, taste, sight, etc. and their relationship with the physical world; physical miracles of the earth, nature, nutrition, physical connection with others. Opportunities for personal growth come from hard work, practicality, patience, and demonstrating their dependability.

Air Connection with higher self and higher order comes from sharing ideas, knowledge, and communicating among their social circles; feelings of religiousness comes from collective consciousness and unity. Opportunities for personal growth come from group effort towards one common goal, sharing philosophies, and maintaining important relationships.

Water Connection with higher self and higher order comes from listening within, sensitivity, and intuition. Actualizes spiritual and religious world through creativity and clairvoyance. Opportunities for personal growth emerges from their compassion, making peace within their inner world, their imagination, and their keen understanding of spirituality.

Jupiter becomes more defined and personal as we explore its expression in each individual sign. Since Jupiter transits a new sign only once a year, acknowledging the aspects that may be made to other signs with the other planets can further enrich it’s interpretation. Jupiter expands planets it touches, so every aspect made with Jupiter is important.

Jupiter in the Signs

Aries

Grace of courage. Jupiter in Aries elevates self esteem and confidence in oneself. Those who struggle with self esteem can look to this Jupiter placement as the most effective counsel. This individual can improve themselves through assertion, confidence, and leadership skills. Opportunities make their way when they take initiative and risks in life. Falling in line with the Fire description, this individual has exceptional control over their will, therefore they are the creator of the opportunities they receive. This is important to keep in mind because Jupiter has a tendency to go easy on us when we choose to be lazy. Jupiter requires this individual to really grasp onto bursts of motivation and try to prolong it long enough to finish one project before starting another. In its negative expression and contacts, Jupiter in Aries can express blind confidence and irresponsibility. This individual needs to be careful not to shoot themselves in the foot.

Taurus

Grace of patience. Jupiter in Taurus finds itself aligned in the material world, thus they need to seek evidence of the divine to connect with their higher self and faith. Luckily, Jupiter here grants the individual with the patience and natural connectivity to the earth required to gather this evidence. As mentioned in the Earth description, they experience the mystical through nature, sensuality, beauty, and appreciating the tangible. Proof of their existence aids their emotional health and sense of purpose. Opportunities come through their usefulness, steadiness, and productivity, as well as the actualization of their ideas, faith, and goals. Jupiter in Taurus is extremely tolerant, so the individual should caution those who may take that for granted. In its negative expression and contacts, Jupiter here has a tendency to be over indulgent, materialistic, and to associate their worth with what they own or possess. This must be balanced through humble actions and generosity.

Gemini

Grace of perception. Jupiter here gives the individual a broad, multi-perceptive understanding of the world. With that said, this is Jupiter’s detrimental placement and there can be a tendency towards being overly skeptical and cynical; there is no solid faith or belief to fall back on. This can be a heavy weight on their well-being, especially when placed in houses that deal with the bigger picture in life. Jupiter in Gemini needs a faith system that compliments reality, rational, and logic. As suggested in the Air description, a strong social circle that promotes sharing ideas and knowledge can help secure a belief system. Jupiter in Gemini improves themselves through Mercurial activities such as writing, teaching, and learning in general. Opportunities come their way when they ask difficult questions and embrace their curiosity.

Cancer

Exalted grace. Jupiter in Cancer elevates emotional maturity. Even with the most debilitated and ill-aspected Moon placements can reap benefit from Jupiter when it is in Cancer. Those who need to grow or wish to continue to grow their emotional world can channel this placement and the house it’s located in. Those who have harnessed Jupiter’s grace here can seek opportunities through helping others with their emotional world, tapping into their instincts, and building security. As mentioned in the Water description, they have a keen understanding for their spirituality. Jupiter here generally has a strong relationship with their higher self and the grandiose of the universe. With this said, they can have a tendency to rely too much on their gut and it can lead them to evade uncomfortable situations that could have been opportunities. They need to trust themselves in these uncomfortable situations. Jupiter in Cancer individuals should also practice caution with fear-mongering faiths as there is a tendency to fall victim.

Leo

Grace of heart. Jupiter here makes an individual who will benefit from actions pure of heart. The self improves and expands when the individual demonstrates generosity and humbleness, and utilizes their creativity. Alternatively, Leo’s lens can take advantage of Jupiter’s abundance; this can create arrogant and greedy tendencies in individuals. These individuals need to acknowledge these tendencies to cleanse and humble their heart. They can have an immense capacity to share abundance of love, faith, and resource to those in need once they realize the elevated expression of Jupiter here. Jupiter here generally has a robust and stable belief system, same as described in the Fire description. This position for Jupiter makes individuals at awe with the world; they can feel empowered by the complexity and beauty of life. Inner faith becomes stronger when they feel entangled in the universe’s plan. Those who become victim to the negative tendencies this placement can experience the contrary of this beautiful belief system; become self-absorbed, indulgent, and egotistical.

Virgo

Grace of clarity. Jupiter here can make an individual see the world quite clearly and humbly. This individual is not too hung up on the abundance Jupiter marvels hungry eyes about, but rather just wants simply what they need and nothing more. Virgo can see the exact results they want through their utility to the world and improves themselves through service. Leaning towards the more negative expression of this placement, there can be a perfectionist schema or overly critical view of oneself and the world. This can be resolved when the individual feels comfortable asking Jupiter for more when they are doing more (like asking life for a raise, so to speak); the petty resentment begins to dissolve and they have a better sense of self and placement in this world. Virgo’s belief system is often quite passive. These individuals are quite neutral to karmic energies coming their way; e.g. “everything happens for a reason.” They can feel more in touch with their higher self through the physical modes as mentioned in the Earth description; specifically in areas dealing with nutrition (the body) and helping the earth.

Libra

Grace of fairness. Jupiter in Libra elevates the most pleasant Libra qualities; patience, artistic nature, fairness, selflessness, ability to see both sides of one coin, etc. There is equally though, negative Libra qualities emphasized as well, such as over-indulgence and laziness. Libra improves themselves through approaching life moderately, objectively, and seeing both sides of every situation. Opportunities find the individual’s way when they help others and the world in a differentiated manner. Libra’s belief system carries the perspective that life, religiousness, and spirituality carries an inter-connective quality. Life revolve around the balance of nature. These individuals express their spirituality best through art and expressions of beauty, especially if Jupiter is placed in a creative house. These individuals can solidify their beliefs through social modes of expression as mentioned in the Air description. Jupiter in Libra leads the world to liberty.

Scorpio

Grace of perception. Jupiter here is an exceptionally spiritually connected placement, especially if Jupiter is also in one of the soul houses. Jupiter here very much falls in line with everything said in the Water description. They understand themselves, the world, the spirituality better when in touch with intense or difficult feelings. Conflict with inner faith emerges through fear and inability to connect to deeper feelings. The inability to connect to deeper concepts comes from the fixed attitudes of Scorpio. Scorpios can exhibit a certain stubbornness over their morals and ideas; there is a resistance to accept new concepts at times, especially in dealing with the world and spirituality. Experiences where they are confronted by their fixed attitude tend to be the most expansive and transformative. These individuals improve themselves through thorough emotional and mental perceptiveness. They generally have an acute sense for opportunity coming their way.

Sagittarius

Grace of faith. Jupiter is in its natural expression in Sagittarius, so it brings out the natural good and not-so-good of Jupiter. These individuals tend to be generous, adventurous, hungry for knowledge, and spiritually inclined; they will often find opportunities through these qualities as well as improve themselves by following a faith-inclined or broadly academic path. Their absorbent nature for life can make them overly optimistic or gullible at times, so these individuals should practice caution with what they believe in, trust, and take risks with. Individuals with this placement and a weak Saturn influence may need to work on bringing themselves back to reality. Sagittarius has an exceptional strong belief system and relationship with higher self, as mentioned in the Fire description. Their ability to relate to a higher order through the spread of knowledge and control over will is what really solidifies their belief system.

Capricorn

Grace of reality. Capricorn is considered to be Jupiter’s fallen position which implies it manifests a very unnatural expression for this planet. Through the lens of Capricorn, things become a lot more serious and the individual is not relying on any sort of Jupiter’s luck. Capricorn approaches life and opportunities with caution and hard work. While this can obviously reap bountiful rewards, there is a tendency to aim quite low in terms of expectations for life. While the reality of life is completely there for these individuals, there is a cynicalness towards life which can really take a toll on an individual’s well being. Jupiter here suggests that the individual needs to work towards grasping the optimistic energy it has to offer. This can be done by getting in touch with their higher self and solidifying a belief system. Capricorn is the most resistant to having faith and will need to experience the physical miracles of this world, as mentioned in the Earth description, to open themselves up to a greater order. Miracles in general really aid the feeling of mystique Capricorn tends to miss out on.

Aquarius

Grace of the mind. When Jupiter is in Aquarius, we may observe a paradoxical energy as Jupiter expands the higher mind in a fixed sign. What this can look like is an individual who is open-minded in a lot of areas, but closed-minded in others. Their beliefs can be rather radical as the Aquarian energy typically is (this can be also true with aspects to Uranus and planets in Aquarius aspecting Jupiter because Jupiter expands all that it touches). This individual’s progressive thoughts and ideas can present opportunities as long as they lean towards being more open-minded than stubborn. Their belief system heavily relies on what is mentioned in the Air description; collective consciousness and social groups give them that feeling of religiousness rather than looking inside oneself for faith or universal truth. Continued studies are often of great value to these individuals and they are well suited for academia (unless afflicted otherwise). In terms of being “spiritual,” Jupiter here is quite divided; some of these individuals are not spiritual at all and others explore the idea of being a spiritual teacher or leader themselves. More often than not though, they approach life with objectiveness and humanity in mind.

Pisces

Grace of the spirit. As Jupiter sits in its naturally ruled sign, it is like gigantic watermelon ready to burst. This is the most spiritually potent position for Jupiter. In Pisces, Jupiter freely runs with every idea, inspiration, and fantasy the individual has. The positive expression to this is that the individual may feel limitless in their spiritual and creative endeavours (and the endeavours of the house its in, of course). On the flip side, these individuals are easily susceptible to scams, wishful thinking, and dangerous beliefs; a strong Saturn placement would be helpful in diminishing the negative. Opportunities present itself to this individual when they are able to actualize their inner vision boards and when they get in touch with their innate spiritual nature. As mentioned in the Water description, spiritual connection comes from listening within and embracing sensitivity. Pisces tends to have a very strong (and sometimes far too accepting) belief system and relationship with their higher self.

Jupiter in the Houses (Notes)

-Jupiter is its most spiritual in the 1st, 4th, 8th, 9th, and 12th house

-Jupiter is its most ambitious (or containing themes around life ambitions) in the 1st, 2nd, 6th, 9th, 10th, and 11th house.

-Jupiter is its most creative in the 1st, 2nd, and 5th house.

-Jupiter in the 7th house can indicate marrying abroad, more than one marriage, or a partner of a different background (culturally, in social status, etc.)

-Jupiter in the 1st and 2nd house are generally viewed as beneficial health-wise.

-Jupiter in the 5th house can indicate fertility or having many children.

-Jupiter in the 11th house makes for a great leader in social movements.

-Jupiter in the 1st or 10th house can sometimes be an indicator for fame as it enlarges the personality and public view.

-Jupiter in the 10th house indicates a career dealing with the public on a larger scale. These individuals would do well in politics, business, religion, or teaching.

-Jupiter in the 3rd house can indicate a jack-of-all-trades type individual. This placement can also manifest as someone having many siblings or having peers that replaced the role of family.

-Individuals with Jupiter in the 1st, 5th, or 9th house’s well-being is very reliant on Jupiterian activities. New experiences and travel especially.

-Whichever house Jupiter is placed in will put emphasis on what that house represents. There will be lifetime goals or significant turning points strongly associated with that house (for example, 7th house = marriage/partnership, 4th house = family, domestic security, 10th house = business/career, and so on)

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