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j4y-lvr · 1 year

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ADOR U!… nishimura riki

ㅤ▷ hurt

ㅤ" 'cause i'm not gonna be the one to get hurt,"

SYNOPSIS. a silly dare led niki to attempt to be your silly boy

GENRE. fluff, crack, some angst (this part in particular im sawry)

PAIRING. danceteamleader!niki x teammember!fem!reader ft. enhypen, newjeans

WARNINGS. unhinged and maybe its cringe since i explained the moves to the placement of their feet, im sorry-😭, jungwon says niki got no rizz(i dont think that's gonna happen anymore but we'll see), lowercase intended, tba

WORD COUNT. 1.5k

NOTE. ehem i'm quite busy don't really see myself posting the next part soon since i landed the narrator role for a skl event and have finals in less than a month 🤺🤺

TAG(S). @sd211

Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated!

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The pounding in your heart only loudened as you watched others mount the stage and perform, some making mistakes and many exceeding your expectations. You find yourself in a spiral of thoughts as you stand backstage, niki nowhere in sight.

The nerves pricked at your skin, eating you alive. The unintentional jumpscare from niki appearing beside you sent you a spook through your spine. "didn't mean to scare you. 'you alright?"

"yeah, it was just a scare,"

"no i meant the pale look on your face, the terrified expression. it's just like that day in the cafeteria," niki cracked, laughing upon remembering your front. And your eerie silence drawing his attention, "nervous?"

A blank as a response speaks more to him and he moves in front of you with his broad shoulders covering your sight. Forced to gaze at him, you manage a spike in your head to him, locking your orbs with his. The softening in his facial features is noticeable as his hand places on your shoulder, a small squeeze of reassurance doing more than enough to erupt butterflies in your stomach.

The previous feelings of anxiousness gone without a trace and replaced by the giggly sentiment caused by him. Maybe your cheeks were painting a color of their own unknown to you, finding niki's smile stretching as his other hand reached for yours, intertwining them together.

K.O! rampaged in your head while a countdown resounded 10, 9, 8. . . The sound drowned out and the music now lost in translation. A giggle escapes niki with a wide grin, making you paste one of your own, laughing for no particular reason, as you bumped into his chest.

Niki's grip tightened on your hand and he pulled you into his embrace, the same smile adorning his face. The arm once on your shoulder shifted to your waist, making you bury your face in the crook of his neck and you nuzzle closer to his warmth.

The mental countdown continued . . . 3, 2, 1 and the bell rang, drawing to a close. There you were in your head, on the floor, knocked out from an overdose of affection, not that you would complain but the withdrawal came with severe complications. You mustn't get ahead of yourself.

Just like that, the two of you were called onto stage, greeting the elevation with both of your presences, your hand still wrapped into niki's. Your anxiety disappeared like magic when he held your hand, the fuzzy feeling and encouragement coursing through his touch.

The booming of music began with the same movements you'd ingrained in your mind over the past few days with relentless hard work and unwavering determination. But it felt less nerve racking and nail biting than you thought, noticing that you'd seem to enjoy the feeling of performing for a crowd, who gave back positive reactions.

The carefree motions overflowed and spread to niki, the rhythm following the two of you than the other way around. For the first time, you were having fun performing. It came to a close sooner than expected, the proudness washing you over, your face beaming radiant energy to the audience as they cheered on.

Striding behind niki off the stage he halts and turns to you with a smile of appreciation, and you reciprocate the same, searching for his hand once again and drowning it in his hold. A mix of emotions and adrenaline rushed through your veins and the urge to confess grew.

"i have something to say," you state, niki stopping you with a sudden embrace, "wait, don't reject me just yet, let the moment seep in," he hurries in a whisper near your ear. You try to pull away to tell him quite the opposite, "actually, i've been meaning to tell you that i do—"

"niki, yn! great performance and hate to ruin the cute little moment," minji erupts from behind you both. You love minji as your best friend but that was the worst timing possible. Jungwon and sunoo emerge from the entrance and take niki out and away from you.

A gnarl of frustration gets you caught up in your personal prison of thoughts, "minji i swear you have the worst timing ever,"

"wait you were about to—" An exaggerated gasp leaves her and you stalk to your shared waiting room with niki, in no mood to chatter with your friend after the abrupt interruption.

"don't follow me," you warn minji and stomp and revise how to confess. The 'in the moment' feeling now cashed out along with your energy. You trace to the room with regret and furrowed brows, the door of your waiting room slightly open hearing a howl of shouts from inside.

It was niki and his friends. The mention of your name stills you by the door, your back gluing to the wall beside the doorway. Curiosity peaking, you listen to their frivolous chatter.

"so you're tellin' me, that you scored a girlfriend?!" sunoo, the kind-faced sassy friend of niki's exclaims from inside. You smile at the comment and continue to fill your pride.

"not yet, i didn't get an answer," this is what he would've received if the sharing of hearts session wasn't interrupted like a live broadcast.

"crazy to think this all blossomed over a silly little dare," jungwon follows, with a small laugh.

The palpitations of your heart ring in your ears, and you still in your track, the rest of their conversation numb to your ears.

Dare.

A stupid dare.

The sting of tears burns and you back away from the door and leave the premises. A dare led to you catching some for a fake. Fake feelings that manifested in the pit of your heart that made yours real. And it hurt all that much more.

Niki scours the mass of people, unable to locate you in a frenzy. It was almost time for the award ceremony and you were nowhere to be seen. Minji was seated with hanni in the near distance and scurried over to question your absence.

A feign of innocence from the two insists on a quizzical facial from him. Where could you have possibly gone?

With the time ticking to a close, niki heads back to the waiting room for a second check, his feet urging him to the destination. His feet stop at the door and he exhales, and pushes the door open.

You were in front of the mirror, fixing your hair with a small cute hairpin. He smiles of relief and hunches over with his hands on his knees, huffing for air. "i searched all over for you, where were you,"

"the restroom,"

"oh. it's time for the award ceremony, c'mon," he conveys, shaking off the iffy inkling stirring in his stomach. You swipe the remaining drops off your cheeks once again, and prepare yourself to face the stupid boy you harbored stupid emotions for.

You sit beside the boy inevitably and calm your sentimentality and focus on the event before you as a distraction. It worked quite well as the concern of not being called stirred worry from you. You grip your fit, nibbling on your lower lip with anxiousness building in you.

Niki glances over at you and at your hand clutching the fabric you wore. His hand travels to your hand and dances around it before managing to clasp your hand in his hold to sooth your frantic concern. Your orbs stare at his hand holding yours and jungwons word echo repeatedly.

You shake off his hand with no warning, leaving niki to gaze at you inquisitively.

Third place was the next position to be announced and you really hoped to place anywhere on the list at this state. And you were, being beckoned to the stage along with niki trailing behind with uncertainty due to your previous out of character actions. So much to the fact he hadn't taken in the feeling of ranking bronze.

You accept the trophy and avoid his lingering look on you, a small smile forming on your lips, unable to portray any genuine notions of joyousness. You won and lost all in the same day and niki was left with nothing short or long of an answer but the confusion of you shaking his hand off.

The ceremony concludes and you leave the venue with niki and commute back together with no words exchanged. Niki was worried but couldn't manage to say anything to your fallen face. You arrive at your house and niki stills, jumping to his feet. It was now or never.

"i like you,"

You freeze, eyes taking interest in the pavement beneath your feet, avoiding his piercing gaze and you dodge his confession. He strings you into a hug and you refuse to speak your heart after what you'd heard earlier. You pull away and look him straight in the eyes, missing the same glimmer your front would hold.

"goodnight, niki"

You turn and walk away from the boy, a tear jerking down your face and slam the door behind your back, sliding to the floor and breaking down into sobs. All the moments shared over the past weeks came crumbling down within a few minutes. He was just another guy in your life now.

It was time you kept your distance, 'cause you weren't going to be the one to get hurt.

62 notes · View notes

waterloou · 10 months

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Blanket, Cuddle, and Warmth !!! for wesper ofc 💖💖

Sharing from the depths of my Google docs

Blanket-

“but you made it better.” Wylan smiled, “you made this city I could never love into something I cherished dearly.”

Jesper pulled back, eyes still shut, Wylan smoothed his thumbs over his cheeks, “made life more bright and exciting, something I never want to lose-Jes, look at me?”

Jesper’s eyes fluttered open.

“I won’t lose you to this city, ok? You won’t be lost because you’re too big for this city and deserve to live a life as garish as your clothes-“

“Well you won’t be seeing me in mercher black anytime soon…”

“I’d rather be dead than see that.”

“I’d rather you be alive.”

Wylan gave him a sad smile,

“What?”

“I just wish I could help you more with this-“

“You are, oh darling you are. So much.” Jesper pressed a kiss to his head and pulled him closer, resting his chin on his head.

“Im supposed to be comforting you.” Wylan mumbled.

“It’s a joint comforting session.” Jesper laughed, kissing his head again.

Cuddle-

“I’ll always thank you.” Wylan giggled, “you’re too good to me.” He wiggled out of his trousers and toed off his socks before tangling his legs with Jesper’s and resting his head on his chest. “Soooo good to me.” He mumbled as Jesper ran his fingers through his hair.

“You get some sleep, alright? And try not to throw up on me.” Wylan pouted.

“‘M not gonna throw up.”

“You said that last time.”

“You also said that last time. Pot. Kettle.” He burst into giggles, before snuggling deeper into Jesper’s embrace.

Jesper chuckled as Wylan hummed, his lips pressing softly against the fabric of Jesper’s shirt.

“You’re so warm.” He mumbled, pulling away slightly, before unwinding his arms and crawling under Jesper’s shirt.

“Oi! You’re lucky this is a sleep shirt!” Jesper smacked the lump under his shirt softly as Wylan pressed his cheek against Jesper’s heart and wound his arms around his waist again.

“Cozy.”

“You’re really drunk, aren’t you?” Wylan nodded his head against his chest, rubbing his face against his skin, “you’re never this affectionate.” Jesper’s hand cupped the back of his head, pulling the neck of his shirt out so he could see his friend.

“Peekaboo” Wylan burst into giggles, hiding his face in Jesper’s chest, face bright red.

Warmth-

Jesper kissed his brow, hand sliding to the back of his neck, fingers threading into his hair, pulling him in closer until Wylan was near on top of him.

“Did you sleep?” Wylan mumbled, snuggling into his chest, hand moving to splay over Jesper’s ribs.

“Enough.” Wylan lifted his head to get a good look at him. His eyes were droopy, the skin beneath his eyes darkened from lack of sleep.

“Why do I feel like enough is not as much as you need?”

Jesper shifted, eyes darting away, “it’s hard. I just…need sometimes…” he gulped, fingers tapping anxiously.

Wylan cupped his face in his hands, thumbs stroking over his cheeks, “but you didn’t.” He let his lips perk up, “did you.”

Jesper shook his head, “I didn’t.”

“Didn’t even leave my side.” Wylan smiled down at him.

“Didn’t want to wake you.” Jesper’s fingers gently encircled Wylan’s wrists, “you’re a light sleeper most nights.”

“You could’ve woken me if you needed, you know.” He threaded their fingers together, “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“You’ve had your own problems sleeping-“

“Doesn’t mean you have to be alone with yours.”

Jesper’s eyes met his, gaze softening, “What did I ever do to deserve you?” He kissed their hands. Wylan’s skin warmed where his lips kissed.

“I ask myself that question daily.” He truly was breathless at how he got so lucky.

Jesper kissed him again, soft, slow, squeezing his hand, smile growing until he moved back, gazing in awe at him.

#wesper #mine #yes one of these is roommates wip

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f0x-teeth · 26 days

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(5/6/24) (Jasper)

For hours all I could smell was the cold metallic stench of blood. My head spun from adrenaline rush and once it wore off I'd fallen to my knees in a pit of agony. I never wanted to kill anything. I just wanted to go home where it was safe, but nothing was safe anymore. I was tired of acting like everything was okay..And I began to cry. “I'm not a murderer..” I mumbled despite my mouth filling with salty tears. “I’m…Im not..”

Tears rolled down my cheeks and followed the curvature of my jaw.. My face was red and I couldn’t breathe. “Caleb..I’m so scared.” I trembled as I spoke, unable to look at him as I sat on my knees staring at the ground, defeated and full of despair.

(Proudly written by Caleb)

I sigh, looking down at him on his knees “I promise, you're going to be fine. Let's just keep moving forward. We’re going to find somewhere safe soon enough.” I nudged him, attempting to break his gaze from the ground. “It’s okay, Jasper.” He stayed stationary, shaking as he let out quiet sobs. “I want to move but I can’t.” I pitied him, kneeling down. I wiped the tears from his face. “Let’s get out of here, okay?” He sniffled, finally looking up at me. “Okay.”

I grab his hand, helping him stand and wiping his tears away once more. “I'm hoping we can find some clothes or something we can use. A car would probably be the best right now.” I look back at him, walking forward with him behind me. “You’re right.” He held my hand tightly, following suit. “Y’know, you’re going to have to tie your hair up or cut it so it doesn't get grabbed.” He laughed. “And who’s going to grab it?” “You could be lucky and it could be a human, but it could also be one of those things back there. Either way, something’s teeth are gonna sink into your neck if you’re not careful.” He still seemed to find this funny, “What if I’m into that?” He said with a grin. “I’ll cut my hair once I can find a mirror around here.”

(Jasper)

He was right though, my hair would just get in the way. I thought about keeping it and just tying it up, but I didn’t have any hair ties on me, and my knife was the only thing I could use. While we walked, I thought about what life was like before all this. I’d come home tired after a long day and crash on the couch. Every single day was a long day, and I never truly felt awake. I’d never felt more alive than I did now. I had goosebumps on my skin and a crazy look in my eyes, walking with a stranger while covered in blood.

I looked down at my hands, they shook with excitement..or maybe nervousness. I had no idea if I would live until the next day, and I found that refreshing somehow. It was something new everyday. Now, so far from home, I felt like myself again. “Did you know my last name is Starnes? I always thought it was a cool name.” He looked at me, nodding. “No, I didn’t know that.” He smiled. “Well, what’s your last name?” His eyes widened like he wasn’t expecting the question. “Hutcheson.” “Cool name. You sound like a police officer or something.” “Yeah, I guess.” I smiled at him.

I looked at my feet as I walked, careful of where I was stepping, trying to walk steadily. “I used to be a nursing student. I really never knew how to fight, only how to help people.” He looked over at me again. “Really?” “Yeah. I mean, what did you do before this?” He paused for a moment, examining my face for any hint of malevolence. “I used to study homicide cases.” “Oh, wow. I guess that explains why you know so much about this stuff.” He looked down at the ground. “I don’t know. I thought I was doing the right thing..But being surrounded by all kinds of crazy everyday took a toll on me.” I looked at his quiet features, “I guess you can never escape the chaos.” I gave him a solemn expression.

(Caleb)

We’d reached a stopping point closer to the city near a motel. The roads were piled up with cars as people tried to escape doomsday. I felt so unclean. “I really want to find some new clothes. I don't know how much longer I can go wearing these anymore. God, anything else would be better than wearing this any longer. Plus, we need to find a map to see what cities are nearby so we can find an end destination” Jasper sat next to me on the sidewalk. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. There’s got to be something around here, right?”

He looked around at the shop fronts, we were in the centre of town. There wasn’t much. A few rundown abandoned places, most covered in metal grates due to quarantine. “I know there’s something behind one of those.” He pointed at the barred off storefront “We just need to find something to break in.”

“We can just break down the doors leading into the motel and see what we find.” He looked back at the city, listening in on the distant sound of growling. “Maybe we can find a quieter way? I don’t know how many growlers are out here.” He seemed concerned. “I’ll just stab the doorknob until it breaks since you want to complain so much.” He gave me an offended look. “You’re a dick, you know that? I’m trying to keep us alive and you’re trying to brute force everything..” I rolled my eyes, looking back at the whiney boy. “Fine. We can just try to open every door, not every one is going to be locked anyway.” He sighed, looking at me with a calm expression finally. “Smart thinking for once.”

(Jasper)

I went off on my own path, Caleb split over to the motel while I looked around for something to pry the metal grates open with. I’d found a large piece of metal lying on the ground, but decided against it since it was a bit unethical. Next, I found a plank of wood resting on a car, probably meant for a project of some sort. I picked it up and made my way to the front of the shop.

I first tried rattling around the grate to see how stable it was, then jammed the plank between the grate and the door, using excessive force to push it open. The metal squealed, but it was quieter than trying to break in.. Once I’d made a decent opening, I was met with yet just another locked door. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about it, but I was stuck now. “Damn it.”

I decided to move on from that place in particular, and found myself next door as a small convenience store. I looked in through the windows. Most of the shelves had been ransacked, but a few things remained. The freezer doors had all been left open, so any frozen food was definitely spoiled by now. I grabbed the handle of the door, hinges barely keeping it together and made my way inside.

(5/13/24) (Caleb)

I made it to the motel, trash littering the ground in front of the parking lot. I looked up at the building with broken windows and saw a few growlers moving around inside. I needed to clear the building if I wanted to find any supplies..

I unsheathed my machete and carefully made my way to the door. It wasn't locked, but the door was jammed by something. I shoved my way through and pushed aside a dead body that stirred in it's restlessness. I quickly stabbed in the head before it could alert the others. I treaded carefully into the building, paying attention to my footing and staying close to the walls, looking around corners. The main lobby had a dead receptionist tied to a chair, almost as if someone had forced some sort of information from them before killing them.. It mumbled something almost like repetitive numbers..maybe room numbers? I listened carefully, but it was incoherent. I walked up to the pitiful thing and put it out of its misery.

(Jasper)

The second I walked into the convenience store, i was hit with a rank stench like rotting food..or maybe something else rotting. I held my nostrils closed and kept walking. The cashier was already on the floor, brains blown out the back of his head and splattered on the wall behind him. He slumped..Almost like he was in a peaceful sleep. I hoped he was peaceful, wherever he was. I looked between the shelves, items thrown onto the floor that others hadnt deemed useful or necessary. Some candy had been taken, but most were left on the shelves. I guess people have more important needs than satisfying their sweet tooth..I wasnt those people. I looked in the corner at a milk crate filled with random junk and picked all the items out, walking back over to the shelf. I grabbed handfulls of candy bars, taffy, anything sugary and put it in the bin. I wasn’t going to sacrafice my own enjoyment just because it was the end of the world, and this might be the only time i see candy ever again. “Now for the actually important stuff..” I whispered to myself.

At the front of the store, they had a couple novelty pocket knives and medication. Basic stuff like bandaids, gauze, and pain medication had already been ransacked, but a few boxes remained. I grabbed what was left and dropped the knives into the crate. I looked at the back wall again where the cashier lay lifeless..I knew it was a dumb idea, but the wall full of tobacco prodcuts tempted me. It would be stupid to try, but worth it, right? At least thats what i told myself. I walked up to the counter, giggling as i whispered a small conversation. “Yes sir, ill take the marlboro reds right there.” My smile dropped, still uneasy at the sight of his dead body. He was probably shot during some robbery when everything went bad..And i felt sorry for him. I decided i didnt want the cigarettes after all and kept looking for more supplies.

(Caleb)

After the receptionist was dead..or fully dead? I continued walking. The long red floor rugs were filthy, stained with god knows what because blood would be the same color as the fabric itself. I felt a shiver down my spine, and made my way to a vacant room. All the lights were off, the explosion probably knocked out the power anywhere that was useful. Who knows how long it would take us to rebuild..? I looked at the disturbed bed sheets, blood pooled in the center of the mattress, soaking into the fabric. The blood dripped down the side of the bed and trailed along the floor..Like something had bled out..then got up again. The trail led to the bathroom, a bloody handprint placed distastefully smack-dab in the center of the door, and left wide open. A growler lay, stirring on the bathroom floor near the toilet. It mustve crawled here, because I knew for sure it couldn't move from its spot in any way that would help it. Blood pooled around its legs..It looked sad. I brought my gaze up to its stomach, a gunshot wound straight throught the abdomen. Poor thing probably got shot during some bad peoples interrogation of the receptionist. Its face forever stained with tears, it looked over at me after hearing the sound of my walking.

It mumbled quietly, and this time i had no idea what it could be saying. The thing was gone, most definitely, but its like some left over brain activity kept it from resting completely. The receptionist.. It said numbers. What could that mean? Did these shells of human beings…remember certain things from when they were alive? It didn't seem possible, i mean theyre dead. But the fact they still have brain activity…It could be triggering certain parts of their subconcious. The thought scared me, so i stopped.

I kneeled down over the poor thing, it turned its head, looking absent-mindedly at my stature. “Mm…Sss..” it mumbled. “Mmm…Sss-ahh..” It ... .it was trying to say “I'm sorry.” I held back a small tear, and pulled out my machete, plunging it into the growler's head. I whispered. “I'm sorry.”

(5/15/24) (Jasper)

When I moved on from the counter, I heard something fall, hit the ground. I pulled out my knife and looked in the direction of the noise, holding my breath so whatever was there wouldn’t become aware of me like I had it. I walked around the corner, an injured thing limped, knocking things over, reaching for support and grabbing onto shelves. I stepped closer, it breathed. It panted..It was human. “Do….you need help?” it collapsed to the floor, hitting the tile with a loud thud as a growler was then revealed a few feet behind them. It gnashed its teeth, following its victim. I quickly grabbed the person from the floor, dragging them a few feet back behind the shelf, away from danger. I paced up to the dead thing, swiftly stabbing my knife into the front of its skull. When I pulled away, the corpse now fell to the floor, lifeless.

I looked over at my injured companion who held their bloody side, wincing in pain and breathing heavily. “What happened?” They hissed, holding themself tighter. “I…I thought the building was clear. I was wrong..” I laughed a bit, “Yeah, seems painfully obvious now, doesn’t it?” I looked down at their wound, blood gushing between their fingers no matter how tightly they held in place. “I don’t think …I don’t know if I can check this if you’re bleeding that badly.” They sighed, giving a sickly smile. “I know.” I held their face. “I have some bandages..but I have a feeling this isn’t the kind of wound you survive.” They laid their head back, removing their hand from the wound. Blood poured from something circular. A bite mark, chunk of flesh missing. “I’m so sorry.” They looked back at me “I knew it’d happen sooner or later. I’m proud of myself for making it this far, anyway.” I shed a small tear. “I’m proud of you, too.”

“Don’t pity me..I’d appreciate it more if you’d use that knife of yours before I turn into one of them.” I cried harder. “But…I’m not a murderer. We don’t kill the living..” “Get over yourself, I’m dead already.” I sniffled and grabbed my knife. “Thank you for saving me, but it didn’t do too much good, did it?” I shook my head. “No…no it didn’t.” I wiped away my tears. “I hope you go somewhere peaceful, for what its worth.” They smiled, grabbing my wrist tight. “Thank you.” Then suddenly blade made contact with skin..deeper..deeper...and dead. I let go of the knife, still stuck in the corpses head. I held my hand over my mouth, sobbing and whimpering. “Its what they wanted..” I thought to myself. I had already found anything of use here. I was done. I grabbed my knife, gripped by skull and brain, releasing, dripping with blood. I walked outside, the sun blinding me like i hadn’t been out in days. I made my way to the motel where Caleb reposed.

(Caleb)

I’d left the bathroom, wiping tears from my face and continuing my search for anything useful. There were blankets..those could be handy. I took a suitcase from the bed and shoved a few clean sheets into it. I looked around for anything. Money, food, water, clothing. I looked back at the bathroom. I was so unclean. Would the shower even work..?

(Jasper)

I got to the main lobby, looking around carefully. A dead receptionist greeted me at the front, flesh rotted, wound fresh. I knew Caleb was here. I kept walking, looking into empty rooms. I made it to a room with a door left wide open, I walked in to a bed soaked in blood. I heard water running..”What on earth..?” I mumbled to myself. I looked over at the bathroom door, blood hand print decorating the front. I kicked it open, immediatley worried for my partner’s well-being. “Caleb?” He flinched back, removing his shirt. “I…oh my god, im sorry. I thought you were hurt. “ He continued, throwing his shirt to the floor. “I’m fine. Flattered you worried about me though.” He teased with a smile. “Okay um..i guess you are so..Ill leave you to it.” I turned around, face flushed. “Wait..uh, could you maybe..keep watch?” I looked down at the floor. “You’re really scared..?” I could feel his voice, he was looking at me. “No, i just..dont want to be alone.” I sighed, looking back at him. “Alright, ill keep watch.” He smiled. “Dont enjoy yourself too much.” My face got hotter, “Shut up.”

(Caleb)

I was actually surprised. I guess the water systems were still running..at least in this area. I left the door cracked, dragging the corpse into the far corner, away from the shower and covered it with my dirty clothing. I removed the rest, stepping into the shower, cupping the water in my hands and soaking my hair. I didn’t know when I’d have another chance like this, so I enjoyed it.

(Jasper)

All the while he was in the bathroom, I stared at the walls of the bedroom, listening to the water running. I decided to inspect the suitcase. Just a bunch of bed sheets.. I'll look around. I looked in all corner of the room, shelves, cabinets etc. I'd found two shirts, a pair of pants and a couple mismatched socks. I took everything. I looked down at my shirt, soaked in blood. While I had the chance I decided to get changed into my "new" clothes. I really only changed shirts, my pants would be fine for a while.

(Caleb)

In my solitude I thought about how far we had to go to get here. Even though it hadnt been terribly long since everything went bad, it felt like me and Jasper had been walking for months. All the death, emotion, fear. The things I'd seen. The things I'd done.. Then I thought about Jasper again. His blonde hair, his brown eyes. His smile.. The way he looked when he cried..

I was flooded with positive emotion for the first time in a while. Things were actually looking up in this moment. We had supplies, we had resources. We had eachother. For once, it felt like I'd live to see tomorrow.

(Jasper)

I knocked softly on the door, shirt, pants, and socks in arm. "Hey, I have a change of clothes for you." I heard the water shut off. Suddenly greeted by a tall Caleb wearing a towel and wet hair, he grabbed the clothes from me. "Thanks." He smiled and looked at me for a second. "Why so.. Shocked?"

I didnt realize I was staring, I'd only seen him in blood stained clothes and this... This was just different. It was too different. "Um.. No I'm not- I just-" I struggled for words for a second. "Nothing, just uh..yeah nothing." I brushed it off and walked back over to the bed.

(Caleb)

I finished drying off my hair and started getting dressed. Jasper looked across the room, intentionally not staring in my direction. "I'm not ashamed of anything, you know? It wouldn't be rude to stare.." I could see him fidgeting with his hands, his ears were red and he stayed silent, eyes forward. When I was done putting my clothes on I walked over to him. "Do I have to *make you* look at me?" I held his face, tilting his head up to make eye contact.

(Jasper)

I was speechless, I mean it wasn't the first time we'd been something.. else other than just surviving together. My eyes widened and I could only look at him. No forcing my way out of this one. I still couldn't speak, and I felt so stupid. "You.. Look good." Is all I managed to mutter. I felt my face grow even hotter. He smiled and sat next to me. "Why haven't you showered? " I broke the eye contact, looking down at my hands. "I guess I just don't feel that dirty, Im fine.."

"Is it... That you also don't wanna be alone?" He seemed genuinely curious, not like he was teasing me. "I guess. Im just scared.." I sighed. "You don't need to be scared." I looked at him. "I know, I just can't help it. I was alone for so long that the idea of being on my own again is just terrifying. I mean, you saw what almost happened when it was just me.."

(Caleb)

This poor, traumatized boy. I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what. I know he needed company, so what could I do..? "This is gonna sound weird but I can go with you.. If you want?" I stuttered, trying to be helpful but convincing myself I sounded stupid rather than that. He looked back down again, nodding.

(Jasper)

I didn't know what to do. He hadn’t seen my body before..What would he say? When I walked into the bathroom, my heart stirred, beating rhythmically, something almost representing nervousness, but not quite. I knew I could trust him. I wasn’t scared. The cold air of the bathroom made me shiver. I just wanted this to be over, no matter how unfearful I was. I looked over at Caleb, he smiled sweetly, looking back at me. I went over to the shower and turned the knob. First it was cold..then luke-warm..then warm..then hot. The hot water ran over my hands, and calmed me down just a little. I stood up, removing my shirt slowly. He watched carefully, respectfully. Nothing like disgust or perversion, only fascination.

(Caleb)

I didn't know what I was expecting…when he lifted his shirt, bare skin revealed, soft stomach and lower chest..I eyed a set of horizontal scars when his shirt hit the floor. They were healed over, just pink lines below his nipples.. Something so small, something that looked almost painless. He quickly moved his hands up to cover the scars. “You're beautiful.” I said, but I still managed to say something, though I was barely able to think. His face got red, and he began sliding down his pants. I covered my mouth, looking away slightly. I looked back over at him, blushing. “I didn’t think we’d be doing this..” Jasper seemed..upset. He frowned. “If you don't want to..” I interrupted. “No, I don’t want you to be alone.” I got closer to him, intimidated by the intimacy but still adamant in my intentions. “You don’t need to be scared.” I grabbed onto his hand. He looked up at me…those eyes. He was so..perfect. I couldn't stand it..

(Jasper)

I could see something going on in his head, but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “Im..not scared. I trust you, really.” I clutched his hand tighter, then let go. Bringing a hand up to his jaw, I held the side of his face, stood on my toes and kissed him. Something not like a peck, but it wasn't overtly passionate. Just ..telling him I loved him. I stepped into the shower, enveloped by the warm water and a rush of pleasure washed over me. I didn’t know how much I needed this. My hair became damp and I brushed it back over my forehead, rubbing my hands over my face as the blood stains diluted with the water, dripping onto the tile. My guilt..it was gone. My filth..was gone. I was left with only myself. I was happy. When I stepped out, Caleb stood holding a towel, offering it to me, still red as ever. “Such a gentleman.” I said with a smile, taking the towel and wrapping myself in it before placing a peck on his cheek.

(Caleb)

In my head something as small as this made no sense by being so..intimate. I felt like he actually trusted me. I felt like I could actually do something for him and make things better. Seeing him smile like that was better than anything else that happened. Sure, he was.. Perfect, but I wasn’t thinking about any of that in that moment. I just wanted him to feel safe. As he walked back into the bedroom I stood there, frozen by something. His wet hair, his pale skin. I just…This wasn’t fair. How could he do this to me..? Make me fall for him, make me feel this way.. I couldn’t handle it. I walked behind him, closer, until I was practically pressed to his back. I slid my hands over his waist, clasping them over his stomach. He gasped..God, he's so cute.

(Jasper)

When I felt his touch, I shivered. My face got hot and all I could do was look forward. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, planting small kisses, plaguing me with his warm breath. I made a small noise, filled with dopamine and pleasure from the sudden contact. “Caleb..” I smiled, bringing a hand up to play with his hair. “What’s with you?” He placed one more kiss on my skin before looking up, presumably with a smile. “You’re just..so perfect.” My face got hotter, I clutched his hands over my stomach, pulling them apart and turning around to face him. “Mm, are you saying..you like what you saw?” I teased, holding his face in both hands. He looked to the side, embarrassed, and nodded. I slid my hands down to his shoulders, then his chest, then his stomach before sliding them under his shirt. “You’re also..perfect.” I watched his reactions closely. My cold hands caressing his warm skin made him shiver. He whined. “How come..I never get to touch you..?” He said softly, almost mumbling, scared to upset me. “I guess you just never asked.” I smiled, holding onto his waist and pulling him into a kiss. “You can touch me all you want, Caleb.”

(Caleb)

After removing the blood stained sheets and replacing them with new ones, Jasper lay curled up in the middle of the bed like a puppy. He held onto a pillow, crying “You…You didn’t look away.” He sobbed. I crawled into bed with him, pulling him close. “How could I? You’re so beautiful.” He sniffled, holding onto me, and cried into my new shirt. Everything was clean, and warm. We were together and things were good. No, perfect. Everything was perfect with him in my arms. I ran my hands up and down his back while he sobbed quietly. “You’re..” He struggled to get the words out. “Shh..it's okay.” I cooed, holding him tight. “You’re so amazing.” He said, muffled by my shirt. I smiled. He really did trust me. He let me see him like that and hold him like this. “I’m not.” I told him. He was. He was amazing.

(Jasper)

Being cold for so long…Being alone for so long. This made me complete. He completed me with his presence and warm smile. He was everything I needed, or ever wanted. “You’re so amazing.” I told him. I wanted to say something more, but I could only manage that at the moment. “I’m not.” He said, laughing. I looked up at him from his chest. “What did you just say?” His smile dropped. “Im..not amazing?” I gave him a serious look. “You’re absolutely perfect, Caleb. No one has ever been able to make me feel the way you do. You better take that back.” He smiled, hand on the back of my head, playing with my hair. “Fine, I’m amazing.” I smiled. “Good boy.” His face flushed and he held me close to his chest again.

(Caleb)

In this moment, I was with Jasper, but my head was somewhere else. We had things we needed to do, places to be. We had supplies, we just needed a car, and a place to settle. This motel full of corpses seemed nice, but we’d only cleared one of the rooms, and we couldn’t stay here forever. I had him, but we needed more people. If either of us got seperated, we wouldnt be able to save eachother. With him just down the street, I worried about him. I decided we’d stay here until morning, because Jasper had already fallen asleep. I stayed awake for a while, listening to his heartbeat and his breathing. He was alone for so long..but he didn’t know so was I. His existence, his presence in my life was something small, almost temporary, but it changed me. I was so scared without him, but he made me stronger, whether he knew it or not. I slowly began to drift off into sleep. The room got quiet and it was just us in the dark.

(Jasper)

I woke up to an empty bed. The sun beamed through the blinded windows and satin curtains. The spot where Caleb lay absent from was still warm, and I layed there, breathing and not moving. I looked over to the door, it was left open. At this point I began to get worried. I sat up, still tired. “Caleb..?” I said, not loud enought to actually be heard, and more like a rhetorical question. I got out of bed and stood by the door, looking down the hallway. The motel was quiet besides the distant sound of growling. I went back into the room and grabbed my knife before making my way out into the hall. My breathing got quicker and I was on edge, staying close to the walls. I went farther down the hall, glancing at each close door. A few doors down from where we slept, a door was open. I walked in. This time..Oh god, this time was so much worse. I could hardly see the original color of the carpet underneath all the blood and…I held a hand over my mouth to stop myself from throwing up. There were guts and flesh and..I couldn’t even tell what most of it was. I looked up from the floor, a rope suspended from the ceiling swayed back and forth, strangling a limp and mangled corpse. On the walls written in blood were hardly comprehensible words, something like the person was panicking and didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t hold it, and my stomach gave away. I vomited on the floor in front of me, staining over the red of the carpet. Caleb appeared behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I was wiping away the bile from my mouth when he did, and I looked over at him “Did…you do all this?” He looked down at his feet, hanging his head in shame. Still, he looked back up and shook his head. “Then..?”

(Caleb)

I held my bloodied machete. I looked between Jasper and the hanging corpse. “I woke up before you. I just..need something to do to clear my head.” He still looked concerned. “I didn’t do all of this..That growler up there is the only thing I touched. I couldn’t leave it like that.” Jasper’s eyes softened, and he took the machete from my hand, tossing it to the ground. “I was so worried when you weren’t there when I woke up.” He brought his arms around my sides, pulling me into a hug. “I know, I’m sorry I left like that.” He sighed, letting go and looked up at me. “I get it. I’d have done the same thing.” I placed a hand on the top of his head, running it down to the back of his neck. “Still, you didn’t deserve that. I didn’t mean to worry you.” He smiled. “Trust me, Caleb. Its okay.” He lifted his hand up to grab onto my arm. “Let’s just get out of this motel…”

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b0mblover · 1 month

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By: J

major tw; minor ed/ weight loss mention,

the absolute biggest tw for suicide, really just probably dont read this at all if youre suicidal, or prone to it, or uh really just not good in the slighest,

i uh, talk about in detail ways i could kill myself, really, i don’t recommend reading this unless like, you need a refrence on how highly suicidal people speak 💀

ah but srsly, probably dont read this for your own sake, im basically venting on alt, but like, not poetically in the slighest, theres only so many ways a guy can rephrase wanting to kill himself without being direct kay?

uh, probably dont worry abt this, i uh, even if i /did/ try to kms id probably survive, dont put that much faith into me

ok nvm irl i just spilled my goddamn penrice im gonna actually kms this is my breaking point (hard joke)

ugvfnd god im so sorry for writi g this and postint it, i cant do the whole keeping my feelings to myself anymore, its awful.

CHOEKS imagine this is jiro nitos suicide note or smth and critize it I DONT KNOW 😭 please laugh, im trying to hard to deflect from how awful i feel.

i urge to you turn back and not read this.

-from this point on, i am not responsible for how anyone interprets this/does because of this, you have been warned, this is the writer venting and being highly suicidal, no one is forcing you to read this. if you cannot deal with this, then dont read it, im not responsable for how others react to my writing, for your own sake. again, you have been warned-

i apologize for writing this.

words are escaping me at the moment.

ill probably be fine.

im human in the end.

something we all can agree on.

every sign points to it.

it is in the end correct.

but now,

i question if im even enough to deserve the title.

my anger is consuming me over nothing.

at the same time.

i feel so numb.

my throat feels tight.

like im going to cry.

my vision is blurry.

and yet.

as always.

i cant.

i wont.

im tired of the “sympathy”

someone like me doesnt deserve it

i dont deserve it.

i dragged myself into this hell.

and im not getting myself out.

i said that the next time i fucked up i would kill myself.

here we are.

still- annoyingly- alive.

i dont know if ill try.

i dont feel.

scared.

to try.

pills, a noose, drowning, gunshot, razor blades,

i know about every way to kill myself

i have about every way to kill myself

and yet

im still here.

alive.

my noose, sits beside my on the door, id have to move my chair, get a stool,

the last time i tried it didnt break,

and ive lost around 10 pounds, i know it wouldnt break, i know it would work, but as last time, it took too long, i got bored, ‘came to my senses’

the pills on the table, i know of at least three medications in them that would kill me, not to mention the combinations, but, i cant normally swallow pills well, i usually end up gagging, plus, getting your stomach pumped is really costy,

the water would be, rather easy i believe, ive only tried it once, but, after she tried to do that, i dont know if i could even force myself underwater, even to kill myself,

the gun that resides on that same table, it works, i have two bullets that fit it, no more, no less, i know it still works perfectly, granted being older than me, it probably would be my best chance, but, i - well, i cant say i remember the parts to shoot that are vital, thatll finish the job, and i really rather not waste my bullets and money on surviving,

the razor blades on my desk, everywhere, the black letters on the box reading “do it” only feels more like a calling, but, even when i try to cut deeper, i almost never can unless on accident, no matter how hard i seem to press- no matter how quickly i do it, i can never seem to get past the first layer of skin,

i, really- really dont know what to do,

i said id attempt, i fucked up, im tired of people seeing this awful side of me, but when thats almost all you have left of what you can barely even call ‘you’.

the only way i see my life going.

is ending.

weather the original plan,

suicide,

an accident,

i know in the end im destined to kill or get myself killed.

i truly don’t believe that ill die of anythint “natural” unless you consider jumping off a roof natural.

in a way, i want to listen to what she says,

to give up on art, become a scientist.

i know its not even possible,

its just my own sense of punishing myself, because the mental pain of knowing that i shouldve died years ago stings so much more than my arms ever will, hurting myself, barely hurts, and i know that the only person that it would hurt from- wont.

even if i were to beg, plead, i know they wont.

its almost june.

i dont really think i want to live to then,

im scared that last year will repeat itself,

i dont know if its rightful,

but i want to get out of their life,

i dont want them to suffer like they did,

i dont want anyone to suffer besides myself.

and.

i believe that taking care of me.

is suffering.

therefore.

the only thing i feel i can do.

is leave.

i dont want to leave.

i want to stay with them.

but.

im horrified that ill fuck up again.

and no one needs to deal with that.

besides.

people get bored of others.

move on.

i seem to always be the only one who cant.

i know how illogical i sound.

i know that.

but to me it makes perfect sense.

its clear.

im so sorry.

0 notes

cosmicsnowleopardcrusader · 1 month

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I saw a furry brown skinned male feline lyran (same color as my new brown eye shadow ‘fawn’ from glossier) and he had huge blue/grey eyes and hair dreads exactly like lil durk - that matched his furry skin color. He was so vivid. His energy felt so kind and caring and careful.

I also remember being on a tram that turned into a magical bus - then a pod of 1– that I was flying so vividly- there wasn’t really anything to hang on to, I was basically close to falling out the whole time it felt. In my current earth life, Ive been on a mission to lucid dream more and more— and to consciously catch myself mid-dream so I could see things from a new perspective. I DID THAT WHILE I WAS FLYING!!!!! I was like whoa I’m back in the dream flying and I’m aware of it happening. So We were trying to escape. I was with dad Jack and someone else at dads we had a team of AI or dark programmed people who claimed to be watching us- the soldiers included guys my age plus older guards. I was soooo horrified and scared in the dream… like pure terror. I was afraid to die.. just the pain, not the death itself. I wanted it to be over with.

At one point I was standing where dad’s old playground was and a massive rectangle piece of what HAD to be tenants of a space station blown to bits (and what felt like the size of 2 cruise lines wide / long) that was about to be slammed down onto the ground (not sure by what— I feel like it was just humans and crazy ancient giant war planes in the sky so I can’t tell where the evil source was. I saw the giant cement like war scrap coming down to be slammed (slow motion like a video game) and knew it was gonna miss me but when it slammed down I saw hundreds of thousands of people get smushed. Some even just injured and not killed- which scared me even more in the dream. I knew once I died, it wouldn’t even hurt and I would flow right I to another life or place. I knew I was in a dream in that way. I just wanted to die so much so the horror would be over, but I kept escaping and surviving. Looking back, if this was a movie, there’s no way I would’ve survived. Time after time the evil kept coming in the dream and I was terrified. Until all the sudden, everything seemed to be over, and the military guys were just actors trying to book flights home lol.

At one point I remember dad and Jack still alive, it was suuuuuper rainy and slippery at one point and I was scared dad was gonna slip and fall.

And at the end I had found a new love who seemed so familiar that our hearts telepathically knew we were destined to be together and we didn’t have to say any words. Im sad to wake up from that part of the dream bc it felt as real as the terror.

At some point the experiment during the battle was over and I survived through attacks and I was vibing with one of the men who was hired to be there— a soldier of sorts— it’s almost like they were actors… and the war scene was over— anyway I fell in love with him at first sight, we had a kiss toward the end and after the kiss I overheard him tell his other female teammate “I’m goin to Omaha” which meant he was booking a one way flight to stay with me and start a new life— bc I had felt that connection with him and I felt safe. And I felt like he was real now and not the soldier from earlier lol. I remember the female soldier he told kinda rolled her eyes and laughed like “really soldier” but it felt perfect and I felt sooooo connected with him even when we weren’t in the same room.

In the end of the dream, once I figured out I’m still alive and not meant to die in that game, I went thru my things in my room I was staying in, only took a couple things, I remember thinning- “oh where I’m going I don’t even need any of that”

Why am I always packing / heading back to Omaha at the end of every dream?!

The man reminded me of Mikey Purlingy— my cubs bleacher buddy I meant last summer lol

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forever-ridiculous · 4 months

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Eyelids heavy, heart heavier

1/6 has passed

The hurt in my heart is holding me back

If u wanted to talk u wud make an effort

Loveless, cold, distant and uncaring

These adjectives cannot begin to describe the aching loneliness in my heart and phone

Why did i have to fall alone, in this dark well of despair. Why did i dream of sunshine, when all there was, was suffocating blue water all around me, drowning. Muffling my screams and filling my lungs with icy silence

Heavy eyes, heart and lungs..

Why do i see ur smile when i close my eyes

Why does ur laughter ring in the darkness of my room at night, faintly lit from the streetlights pouring through the windows

Why does ur warmth light up my duvet covers as if im being hugged

Why do i see ur eyes every time i close my eyes.. glinting mischievously beckoning me..

Clutching myself, i can hear my heart beating and i can feel u r alive, happy, the silent sobs that shake my shoulders, i can feel u within me. I have to accept that u r gona laugh , i have to accept that u r gona smile. The pretty ears are not gonna be mine, the companionable chatter is not gona be mine. I have to accept and keep a straight face. Even if im crashing and burning inside.

Why

Why did u do this to me. To me.

Did u not feel the love in my hands that u held when u were drunk and broken. Did u not feel the love in my skin, when u caressed my hair . Did u not see it in my eyes that melted into urs everyday.. every morning..

Why

Why then did u light that match. And throw it on me soaked in fuel. Watched me catch fire and smolder and burn and turn into embers and charcoal. That wasnt enuff, u poured acid on the charred bits and made sure i did not rise again. Dusted ur hands and pretended all is ok. Continuing ur conversation unbothered.

Why did u ruin me like this

Beyond repair, hopeless and absolute

0 notes

r0mantic-h0micide · 7 months

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when i thought i would die, puking my guts up, wondering what i did to make god so angry, i thought of my son. of what my death would do to him. and of the fact that i would never see him again. wouldnt get to watch him grow and become a man. wouldnt get to watch him become a person. no more birthdays and random trips to the store. no more stupid arguments and laughing and crying together. all of that could have been gone in such a short amount of time. ripped away and robbed from me.

but the nightmare i had of him dying was worse than any reality i have ever lived. i carried him to the car on fumbling feet with shaking hands. yelling at mom to get in the car and drive to the hospital. i held him in my arms trying to get him to come to. pushing his hair behind his ear and telling him it was gonna be okay. and he was breathing and i was worried but he was breathing. and then he wasnt. his whole life ripped away from me in just moments. his soul leaving his body and i felt it all. i felt his life leave his body and i knew it was over and i was just hoping to god i was wrong. but i knew. and the agony i felt in that moment was unmatched to anything ive ever felt before. my heart was ripped from my body while it was still beating for him. and now that im awake all i can do is pray i never experience that again. it would ruin me. i cant even express with words the pain that i felt. knowing he was gone.

i have survived a lot in my life time. i have been raped in the most brutal of ways. i have been beaten and tortured. and i have had nightmares reliving it all. over and over and over again. there is not a day where i dont feel that pain. i have been manipulated into thinking that a man killing me out of love was even a possibility. i have been morphed into a being willing to please that man no matter what it takes. i have been groomed by that man and that has changed me forever. and it has left me broken in an insurmountable amount of ways. and i will never be whole again. no matter how hard i try. and i know that. i have tried to kill myself in being done with being alive. i have been in and out of the hospital in fear of death. i have been in the hospital, puking and praying to god to just fucking end it right there so it would all just stop. yes, there have been many times in my life where i have wished for death. but nothing makes me want to die more than the thought of living long enough to see that boy die. there is no greater pain in this world than losing a child. and that dream felt so real and i will never forget his fever and the way he convulsed in my arms. and i will never forget his sweaty forehead and pale skin. i will never forget the way his eyes rolled back in his head and foam seeped from his mouth. i will never forget my lying, shaking voice telling him it was going to be okay. i will never forget feeling his body go limp and watching his chest cease to rise once again. praying to watch him inhale again.

i have lived through many of my own deaths in reality and in dreams. there are parts of me that have died throughout my life that will never come back. and i relive those moments almost nightly. but nothing has killed me more than watching my reason for living die in my arms, right before my eyes. and i dont think anything ever will.

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rotisseries · 9 months

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after he shocks them theo turns to the other wolves and says "how about you let me do the talking?" and the girl just growls at him. like girl tf ? u roped him into this. also its obvious that theyre getting on his nerves. he thrns back to the hunter and goes "you obviously have us here for a reason--" hes electrocuted via electric fence. its kinda messing up his manipulation flow tbh let him speak. hes very good at talking his way out of things if u havent noticed. but anywy. let him manipulate u its sexy🙄. anyway theo says "if you--if you tell me what you want--" yeah u guessed it, electrocuted. "im trying to help you-" electrocuted. its really not good for them. theres only so much a werewolf can take. electricity can keep them from healing. and then he angry at the other guys and went "THE HELL DID YOU TWO DO?" and electrocuted. he keeps tryna tall ans gets interrupted by an unhealthy amount of joules going through his body he eventually goes "FINE" and quits the nice guy act , gets electrocuted a few more times and then theres a break and theo turns to the wolves and goes "if we get oht of this alive, im going to kill you myself" <- with a smile. hes deadass. kinda. and then he says "and then im gonna-" and looks down and realizes that the electricity is burning the zipties and if he can get it hotter he can break them. he is very good at getting under peoples skin so. thats what he does. the switch is craxy "so thats all you got?" AND LAUGHS IN HIS FACE. "because im not impressed. what did they do? give you permission to shock us a little but not do any real damage? .. they dont trust you schrader." AND THE HUNTER LOOKS UP LIKE ? wait a damn minute . how u know my name. "yeeahhhh thats right. i remember you. weird little sadist from eichen house." then schrader walks up to him and theo says "did they fire you? or did you get out of there before they realized you were just another psychothat should've been locked up with the other freaks?" and theo looks down and watches as he turns the voltage up on the fence. "no, they fired you, didnt they?" <- laughing "did you get caught trying to stick helpless patients with needles again? or did they catch you trying to stick them with something else?" I SCREAMED 😭😭 they got electrocuted and now theo is laughing through the pain "looks like we got a winner!!!" theo breaks out the zip ties, schrader is fucking terrified and theo knocks him to the ground and they tied HIM up on the fence . and the girl goes "you just gonna leave him here?" and theo goes "him and you." and the guy is like "we didnt need your help anyways" theos like uncaring until they mention a car, and hes like "you got a car?" and she says "no" and the grabs schraders keys and says "but he does" and theo grabs her wrist and sees the tattoo on her forearm and says "what is that?" and she says "youve never seen a pack symbol before?" and he says "im not much of a pack animal" 😐 um.......... why are you lying...... just because you dont have a pack doesnt mean you dont want one. youve been fucking wanting one for years, you killed people over it, you died for it. i mean yeah it was about power but it was also about company. anyway. he asks what it means. she says theyre stacked rocks "its a buddist practice" and theos like "oh you're satomi's pack the buddist werewolves" and the guy says satomi is dead, we dont have an alpha or a pack anymore. and the girl says "why do you care anyway?" and theo says "oh i dont. but you should find scott mccall. hes got a thing for taking in strays." and theyre like :OOOOO YOU KNOW SCOTT MCCAL DO YOU KNOW WHWRE HE IS ?? and he looks at those keys and hes like "😊i might" she hands it to him and his face drops a bit as he looks over at schrader (fully human btw) and then turns over and presses the remote with the electric fence button upside down on the table and walks out with him shrieking in pain. likely he died not too long after that. he doesnt have a capacity to heal from that and its also ongoing. dudes heart stopped for suuurree.

this installment is SOOOOO nate coded

#nate would do literally all of this #also I think in a paranormal au nate would be a werewolf that's not why I'm saying this though #ask #ghoultaffy #hi jayme!

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erikaqueenpauline · 1 year

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My wife visited me yesterday, on Christmas Eve, through a stranger... A Christmas Miracle.

My wife died during this exact time of year, two years ago, on December 11, 2020. there was snow on the ground just like there is today, and I found out about her death in this exact homeless shelter, that I'm living at now... So I've been having these terrible flashbacks to finding out the most devastating, soul-tearing news that my wife, my puzzle piece, the soulmate I had finally found, was not alive any more. That I was never gonna hear her laugh or touch her skin again, or smell her hair, or kiss her lips or see her pretty eyes, her adorable, radiant smile. Prior to this, she has made her presence known at LEAST three times since her death. I'm pretty sure she does it to remind me she's still here with me - waiting. That she didn't go away! It makes me really happy when she does something to demonstrate her presence, and she seems to know when I'm at my lowest points and need comforting, or reassurance. She always took care of me when I was in need... "Mama Bear" was one of my pet names for her because she was a little like a mom to me in that she was wiser and more level headed than I was. she guided me, steered me away from danger. I listened to her and abided by her advice or when she told me to do something, which is something I've never done with anyone else, not even my parents. I always trusted her, because she always had my wellbeing and best interest in mind. she loved me so much and knew I needed guidance and a firm directive every once in a while, one of the million reasons I love her. ANYHOOZLE, the first three visitations I'll recount at another time, what I'm about to describe is her best and most visceral appearance to happen thus far. Like I said, it's a rough time of year for me, was in the ER two nights ago due to feeling suicidal and was concerned by how much appeal the idea held. not wanting mom and sisters to go through what I'VE had to go through after Liz died. Basically changed my mind, and convinced myself to live, and left the hospital via a drunk cab driver (Im pretty sure, or throwed off some pills or something) who made transphobic remarks and almost got us in a wreck, which I was oblivious to until he proclaimed that we had almost just got in a wreck. Whatever. Weird ass drunk transphobic christian cab driver yapping in my ear about how he "isn't down with that". Oh yeah, forgot for a sec our society is fucked and the counter culture can't count, to quote the Late Eyedea.

Anyways then this black woman who looked a lot Liz - same height, same complexion, glasses - appeared out of nowhere while I was walking on East Wash and helped me pick up something I dropped and I said "sorry if this is weird but you look a lot like my wife who passed away." She said "I'm still around. You'll see me again." And I know that was Liz talking through her. Then she turned and walked away. A Christmas Eve miracle. ❤️

#griefrecovery #griefjourney #ghosts #life after death #ghost wives #Christmas miracle #supernatural

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mackenzielovee · 3 years

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heyy! can you do an angsty one where rafe and the reader are “friends,” for a long time, they’ve been in the same friend group and she’s been with love with him for a while now, and he knows and uses that for his advantage. she always does stuff for him, help him whenever he needed and more, and he treats her pretty badly/rudely in return. their friends (top n kelce,) always try to tell him to stop and more and finally she’s had enough she confronts him and show how much he was actually draining her, and he acts like he doesn’t care but he does realize what he was doing, but meanwhile he’s reflecting on his actions, y/n is getting closer to jj? thanks lol the end is up to you. love u and ur fics <3

a/n: hi love! im so sorry it took me so long to write this. I hope you love it!! it took me forever to finish hahaha but i loved writing it!

Warnings: swearing, underage drinking

my writing

pretty damn lucky - rafe cameron

You sigh as you pull Rafe's fresh sheets from the dryer, breathing in the scent of the detergent mixed with the scent of him. He and the boys had way too much to drink last night, which resulted in Rafe getting sick all over his bed when they got home. You had stripped his sheets immediately and put them in the wash, then made a makeshift bed for Rafe on the floor with all of his blankets.

He had grunted at you in return for all your work, collapsing down on the floor and passing out before you could even say goodnight to him.

You had washed the sheets once again this morning when you woke up, then stuck them in the dryer and waited on them.

Topper groans on the couch as you pass him on your way to Rafe's room. You stop and chuckle, watching as he hesitantly opens his eyes.

"Oh, fuck," Topper grumbles as he sits up, clutching his head.

"I think you guys brought the bar home with you."

He glances up, eyes meeting yours, and groans. You laugh and step over to him, taking a seat on the couch beside him.

"Can I get you anything?" you ask him.

"Yeah, a time machine. Don't let me drink so much," he whines, collapsing back down on the couch. You stand, letting out a laugh.

"Water and aspirin. Got it."

You walk up the stairs and stop in front of Rafe's bedroom door, knocking on it lightly before you peak your head in. He's still laying on the floor, but you can't tell if he's awake or not. You stop inside, warm sheets in hand, and close the door behind you. He grunts at the noise, but it's not enough to make him open his eyes.

"Hey," you say to him, "I washed your sheets. How are you feeling?"

Rafe moves on the floor, opening his eyes only enough to see you, then rolls back to his initial spot and closes his eyes again.

"Just put the sheets back on, I want my bed."

You sigh and nod your head, stepping over to his bed to start making it. You watch him as you work, laying on the floor, mouth parted slightly and eyebrows furrowed as he tries to focus on not throwing up again.

"Okay," you whisper once his bed is made, "Come on. I'll help you."

Rafe allows you to wrap your arms around his torso, helping him stand from off the floor. He leans all his weight on you as you two stumble over to his bed, then he collapses onto it. You cover him with his comforter and then fix his hair so it's not sitting in his eyes anymore. He doesn't say anything at your movements.

"I'll get you some water and some medicine. Be back in a minute," you whisper to him. He just nods as best he can.

You hurry back down the stairs, rushing past Topper and into the kitchen. You grab two water bottles out of the fridge and then rifle through the cabinets until you find a bottle of aspirin. As you walk from the kitchen to Topper on the couch, you stop in your tracks.

"Topper," you say, your voice authoritative, "Where is Kelce?"

Topper laughs, which is how you know it's bad. You hadn't noticed that they were one friend light when they stumbled in last night, mostly because you had been too worried about Rafe to be concerned with where Topper and Kelce crashed.

"He fell down outside last night. I'm pretty sure we just left him there."

You sigh loudly, handing him a bottle of water and aspirin as you swear and rush to the front door. As you approach, you can already see him, face up in the Cameron's new flower bed that Rose had worked so hard to make perfect. You open the door and rush to Kelce, annoyed with the boys for not even telling you he was out here.

"Kelce?" you question, stirring him awake, "You alive in there?"

Kelce sits up, as if you'd awakened him from a dream, and glances around. He looks at you and then down to the clothes he's in, and you watch as his eyes widen.

"Those motherfuckers did not leave me out here," he gasps.

"Kelce, I'm so sorry. I had no idea you were out here-"

"I'm going to kill them - ow."

He tries to stand up, but the throbbing of his head makes him fall back down into the dirt again. You grab onto his arm and try to help him up, noting how you do most of the work. When he's finally upright, you brush off the dirt from his back and then lead him inside.

"Shit," he mutters, "My stomach. I'm gonna need to eat."

"I'm on it," you tell him, leading him into the living room and placing him on the couch next to Topper.

"Hey, man," Topper greets, "Rose sure will be happy you observed the flowers so...closely."

"Shut the fuck up, Top," Kelce snaps, reaching over and punching Topper in the chest. He groans at his head and sits back again, making you laugh.

"All right," you declare, picking up the aspirin and water bottle for Rafe, "Eggs? Toast? Bacon? Sound good?"

Kelce nods his head and Topper looks at you, already looking better with the water and medicine in his system.

"Hey, thank you, Y/N. For always taking care of us," Topper smiles at you.

"Yeah," Kelce agrees, "I'd still be lying in a bush outside if it weren't for you. Thank you."

You smile at them and shake your head, "Of course, boys. Back in a minute. Kelce, don't kill Top. Please."

Kelce grunts, telling you he's still debating if he will or not. You laugh and then rush back up the stairs, hoping Rafe is still alive up there. You knock softly on his door when you reach it, not wanting to just bust in on him.

"Rafe?" you say when you walk in, seeing him laying in the exact same position he had been when you left him.

"What took you so long?" he grumbles.

"I'm sorry," you say, sitting down beside him on his bed, "You guys left Kelce outside and-"

"Do you have the aspirin or what?"

You sigh and nod, handing him the pill bottle and a bottle of water. He sits up, hair messy and eyes only half open, and pours three pills into his hand. You stare at him, observing his sharp jaw line and his soft skin, and you can't help but wonder what it would be like to be able to feel him. Touch him. Love on him the way you've been dreaming about since the day you met him.

"Do you want me to make you something to eat?"

Rafe swallows the pills, then brings his eyes up to meet yours, "That breakfast place I love. Why don't you go pick us all up something? Card's in my wallet."

He lays back down, which is his way of excusing you from the room. You just nod your head and grab his card out of his wallet.

"And move the seat back in my truck when you get back. I always hit my head when I get in after you."

"All right," you say quietly, wishing he'd at least say a 'please' or 'thank you'.

You take orders from Topper and Kelce, then hurry out to Rafe's truck. You have to move the seat way up in order to drive the truck, and you make a mental note to move it back when you get back to the house.

You pull up to the restaurant and climb out of the truck, fumbling with the keys and your purse and Rafe's card, too wrapped up in yourself to notice the blonde boy standing about five feet from you.

"Damn, I didn't expect someone as pretty as you to hop out of that truck," JJ smirks at you, watching your eyes shoot up to him.

You smile, "Hi, JJ."

"How are you?" he asks, cheeky look on his face.

You set your hands on your hips, keys and card tucked between your fingers, as you observe what you're wearing for the first time. You'd snuck one of Rafe's Kildare Island shirts from his dresser last night and had on jean shorts underneath.

"Y'know," you shrug, "You like this place, too?"

"Ah, little pretentious, but the food's acceptable," he teases, "You eating alone?"

"No. Just picking up food for Rafe and his friends."

"What, are you his assistant or something? Tell Cameron to pick up his own food," JJ huffs.

He'd never tell you, not wanting to upset you, but he's hated watching you run around the island as Rafe's bitch since you met him. JJ's been dying to hang out with you, even asked you a few times, but you always say no because you're on some sort of mission for Rafe.

"It's just a breakfast order," you reply, starting to inch toward the restaurant.

"Just a breakfast order," he shrugs, "Just getting him a beer every time he asks, just following him around like a lost puppy, just-"

"Okay," you stop him, "I'm a big girl, JJ. I can take care of myself."

You turn and start to walk away from him, trying to brush off his 'lost puppy' remark. He groans loudly, which is enough to earn your attention back.

"Prove it," he yells out, making you turn, "Tonight. There's a thing down at the beach. Meet me."

You start to shake your head, but he steps toward you and stops you. He runs a hand through his blonde hair, messing it up even more than it already is.

"JJ-"

"Come on, Y/N. Take the Kook chains off for one night. Please. Rafe can do his own dishes and get his own drinks."

You sigh, glancing down at your feet before back up to him, "Maybe."

"Ah- you know what? That's better than a no. I'll take it."

You nod at him, trying your best not to smile too wide, then point to the building. You start to back off, but you keep your eyes fixed on the blonde boy.

"What time? You know, if I decide to come."

JJ smiles wider than he had the entire conversation, "Seven."

You smile back at him, then turn and walk away before you can get even more wrapped up in this boy.

"What the hell took you so long?" Rafe questions as you walk through the door with several bags filled with food.

"Sorry," you sigh at him, "Got caught up."

Kelce and Topper stand up and step to you, taking the bags from you. You thank them quietly, watching as Rafe rolls his eyes and stands from his place on the couch.

"Yeah, never mind the fact that I'm starving to death," he mutters.

"Rafe, come on, man," Topper smacks Rafe on the chest, trying to get him to chill out.

"Yeah, quit being a dick," Kelce tells him.

Topper starts to unload the food from the bags while Kelce leans down and gives you a friendly kiss on the cheek. You smile gently, glancing up to see Rafe watching with his jaw clenched. You try to put distance in between you, but Rafe doesn't seem to care about your efforts.

"Thanks for running to get it, Y/N," Topper smiles to you.

"You're welcome."

"Did you put my seat back, at least?" Rafe asks you, swiping his car keys from the counter where you set them.

"Yes, of course," you reply.

"Of course," he mutters, "You never do."

"Rafe," Kelce says authoritatively, holding his hands out to his sides as if to ask what the hell he's doing.

"I'll fix you a plate," you tell Rafe, setting a hand on Kelce's arm as if to thank him.

Rafe exhales loudly, then steps away and back into the living room. Kelce rolls his eyes at Rafe, giving you a pat on the shoulder. You make Rafe a plate, a little bit of everything, then follow Topper into the living room to take it to him.

"Quit being an asshole to her, man," Topper mumbles to Rafe, slapping him on the back of his head.

"Don't fucking hit me," Rafe growls at Topper.

"Here you go," you hand Rafe a plate. He takes it from you without a word or a glance, inspecting the food you've given him.

"Where's your plate, love?" Topper asks you as Kelce sits down beside him, "I'll make you one. Sit down."

"No," you say quickly, earning the attention of all three boys, "I'm not staying. I gotta get home, I kinda have plans later,"

"What plans?" Rafe asks, judgment present in his voice.

The boys watch the look on your face and Topper and Kelce immediately erupt into fits of laughs and hollers.

"Boy plans, huh?" Kelce smiles at you before he shoves bacon into his mouth.

Your face flushes as you stand in front of them, glancing at Rafe to see his reaction. His jaw is clenched tightly and he's stopping eating all together.

"Who's the lucky guy, Y/N?" Topper snickers.

"It's not a big deal, you guys."

"Why am I jealous right now?" Kelce teases you. You look over at him and roll your eyes, hiding your smile from him.

"What plans?" Rafe repeats himself, raising his voice. Your eyes shoot over to him, watching his expression.

"Um, I'm going down to this thing at the beach," you say, looking down at the floor. Rafe sets his plate down on the coffee table in front of him, not wanting his food anymore.

"Are we invited?" Rafe asks, already knowing the answer. He just wants to make you say it.

"I- it's not my thing," you stutter, "I'm just meeting some people."

"Who?" Topper asks through his food.

"Uh, JJ Maybank and his friends-"

Rafe scoffs, interrupting you, "You're ditching us to hang out with Pogues?"

"I'm not ditching you, Rafe," you frown.

"Funny, that's the way it looks."

"It's just a few drinks on the beach, why are you getting so bent out of shape?" you question, watching as Topper and Kelce squirm, growing more uncomfortable.

"Bent out of shape? " he repeats, voice as if he doesn't believe you just said that, "You're the one driving across the island for shitty ass beer-"

"It's not like I was asking your opinion on my plans-"

"No, no, you were just informing us that you have plans to fuck JJ Maybank, understood."

"Rafe-" you start, but stop when Kelce sits up straight in his chair and speaks.

"What the fuck, Rafe?" Kelce stares at his best friend, "Why are you so mean to Y/N all the time? She doesn't have to hang out with us every day, and honestly, I wouldn't if you treated me the way you treat her."

"Oh, fuck off, Kelce, you don't know shit," Rafe waves him off.

Topper glances at you, then over to Rafe and speaks up as well, "He's right, Rafe. You're an asshole to her. And not just today, but a lot lately."

Rafe sits back on the couch and crosses his arms in front of his chest, rolling his eyes.

"You two don't know anything," he huffs, "Y/N and I are fine."

"Actually," you say, earning Rafe's complete attention, "I don't think we are."

He stands up now, stepping over to you and grabbing onto your wrist, "Let's discuss this in private."

You glance at the boys, trying to offer them a silent 'thank you for trying', then allow Rafe to pull you into the guest room down the hall. He slams the door once you two are inside, then runs his hand through his hair before he speaks.

"What the fuck are you doing, embarrassing me in front of the two of them?" he scoffs.

Your mouth falls open at how that is his main concern after you just told him you have doubts that the two of you are okay. Your heart sinks, watching as he paces the room. You watch the way his jaw is clenched and how his eyes are frantic as he tries to figure out how to fix things with the boys.

"I'm sorry," you say quietly.

Rafe seems to not hear you, "Jesus, now the two of them are gonna be up my ass about you for the rest of the day."

"Rafe-"

"And what the hell is up with you partying with JJ Maybank? Do you not realize how that could look, you hanging out with him?"

"Oh, my God!" you yell, not being able to take any more of his bullshit, "I don't give a shit, Rafe! I mean, seriously. I spent my entire night last night and my entire morning taking care of your ass. Because I care about you. And now, I say I want to do something for myself, and you act like I'm being selfish? Are you kidding me?"

"Oh, please," Rafe shakes his head, "You're always taking care of us, don't act like you're all noble."

"I'm not trying to be noble. I'm trying to tell you how I feel-"

"Well, I didn't fucking ask, all right?" he yells.

You frown and step back from him as if his words struck you across the face. He reaches up and pinches the bridge of his nose, trying his best to control his frustration.

"Rafe," you choke out, feeling your emotions as they rise up, "I care about you so much. But, I can't keep walking on eggshells around you. I have done everything you've asked me to do, I've been a good friend to you and I-"

"You what?" he growls at you, stepping forward and grabbing your shoulders.

"I love you, you asshole," you whisper, watching the way his eyes soften at your words, "I love you. But I'm drained. I'm exhausted. And I'm sick of being treated like some bitch who just follows you around and hopes you'll throw her a bone."

Rafe stares at you for a moment, and for the first time in a long time, you genuinely cannot tell what he's thinking. After a few seconds, he releases your shoulders and lightly shoves you away from him.

"You should leave," he says, staring at the floor.

"Really?"

"Yeah, you gotta get ready for your big date night, right?"

You laugh sarcastically at his comment, feeling stupid to have expected him to say anything different than that. He sets his hands on his hips and sighs, not bothering to look up at you. You lick your lips and take a deep breath, debating whether or not to stay and fight with him. For him.

"Fuck you, Rafe," you say.

His shoulders fall but he doesn't look up, so you turn and walk out of the room. Topper and Kelce are standing right outside the door, shocked when you suddenly emerge. You roll your eyes at them, not surprised they had been listening. They don't bother trying to stop you, because honestly, they'd leave Rafe, too.

You rush out of the house and slam the door behind you. Topper usually drives you home, but you don't bother to go back inside and ask. You can walk, it's not far.

As much as you love Rafe, as much as you'd kill to be with him, you can't condone the way he's been treating you. You know that you deserve better, just as Topper and Kelce have been reminding him. Better is exactly what you plan to have.

The beach isn't terribly busy when you arrive. You know by the time the sun sets completely, it will be packed. You spot JJ's blonde hair towering above almost everyone on the beach, watching as he laughs with his friends and tips a red cup against his lips. You walk over to him before allowing yourself to hesitate and think about leaving again.

Your fight with Rafe had completely drained your energy, and if you didn't feel like getting completely drunk to forget about it, you'd leave. JJ spies you as you approach and grins widely, starting over to you.

"No fucking way," he smiles, "Can't believe you showed, Mrs. Cameron!"

"Ha ha," you grumble, shaking your head and trying to hide a smile.

"How'd you escape from the prison that is Kook land?"

You roll your eyes, reaching up and taking the cup from his hand. You gulp it down before he can even object, and when you look up at him again, he's staring at you with his mouth wide open.

"Okay. Got it. Drinking, no talking," he reaches down and takes your hand, leading you over to the keg.

"Lots of drinking," you mutter, watching as JJ pretends he didn't hear you.

JJ grabs two beers from the guy handing them out and hands one to you, returning his hand to yours. You start to walk back over to JJ's friends, but he pulls on your hand to keep you where he wants you.

"What are you doing? Don't you want to hang out with your friends?" you ask him.

He shakes his head, "No, I'd rather figure out what's going on with you."

You sigh and take another long sip of your beer, avoiding his eyes on purpose. Although you and JJ hadn't hung out a lot, he still seems to be able to tell that you're bothered.

"It's not a big deal," you say.

"If it's bothering you, it is," JJ insists. His eyes are wide as he looks at you, and you can't help but notice how he hasn't taken one sip of his beer.

"JJ-"

"It's Rafe, I can tell. Did he hurt you?"

"No," you furrow your eyebrows, unsure of why he would even ask that. JJ just nods his head, tightening his grip around your hand.

"All right, then what?"

You give him a small smile, grateful that he's pushing so hard to try and figure out what's bothering you. You've never really had anyone do that before.

"We just got into an argument. But, it's fine-"

"Y/N-"

"I came here to have fun with you. Please don't make me spend the whole night talking about Rafe."

His eyes soften as he stares down at you. You watch as he takes a deep breath, then licks his lips and nods his head. You give him a small smile, watching as he shamelessly return it.

"You're right," he speaks after a minute, "Who needs that asshole, anyway?"

You nod, although you're hesitant to talk shit about Rafe like that, even after everything. JJ squeezes your hand once again, then tugs you toward his friends.

"Come on, let's party."

JJ pumps you full of beers, at your request, and laughs every time you attempt to get him to dance with you. His friends all watch as JJ finally gives into you, standing up as you tug on his hand and allowing you to lead him upright.

You can feel the alcohol rushing through your body as JJ spins you around in the sand, laughing at how much you're loving it. His friends cheer the two of you on, and by the time the song ends, you're completely exhausted. You collapse into JJ's chest and he wraps a strong arm around you, holding you up.

"I didn't realize I'd had so much," you tell him, slurring your words a bit against his chest.

"That's all right," he laughs lightly, "I'll take care of you."

JJ leads you back over to the log the two of you had been sitting on and helps you sit down, smiling when you lean your head down on his shoulder.

"You're nice to me," you tell him.

JJ laughs at your drunken state, pressing his cup to his lips once more. Say what you will about JJ Maybank, but never call him a lightweight.

"You deserve to be treated nicely," he fires back.

"You really believe that?" you ask him, not noticing your eyes fluttering closed against him.

"Of course, Y/N," he whispers, moving his face so his lips graze against the top of your head, "You know, there's a lot more out there than just Rafe Cameron."

"You don't know him like I do," you say quietly.

"You're right," he scoffs, "Nobody else would defend him."

"I'm serious, JJ. He's sweet and caring and protective-"

"And rude, and unkind-"

"JJ," you sigh, "I mean it. Underneath all the bullshit, he's a really great guy."

JJ's silent for a second, then you feel his body tense slightly under you. His friends are all in their own little world, to notice, but JJ isn't.

"Well, that really great guy just showed up to the party."

Your eyes shoot open and your head comes off of JJ's chest as you glance around, trying to steady your vision as you look around to see what he's talking about. When your eyes meet Rafe's, he looks upset. He's watching you and JJ like the thought of you two together actually, physically breaks his heart in half.

Topper and Kelce stand behind him, pushing Rafe forward to you. You stand up, with the help of JJ's hand steadying you, which you immediately let go of when you stand up straight. You tears your eyes away from Rafe long enough to glance back at JJ, asking him silently if it's okay if you go to him.

"Go on," he gives you a sad smile, "Tonight was fun. But, you know, I'm not the type of guy to chase after some other guy's girl."

"JJ-"

"Go, Y/N. You love him. I can tell."

You start to object, but close your mouth when you realize you have no defense. He's right, you know he is. You give JJ a little smile, then turn back to Rafe. The asshole, your asshole, who looks ready to put your heart back together again.

He starts to you and you to him, but he covers way more ground than you given that he's stone cold sober. He can tell you're having trouble standing, so he reaches out and offers his arm as soon as he's within range.

"Hey," he says quietly.

You wrap your cold hands around his arm, steadying yourself and absorbing his warmth. You take a deep breath, inhaling his familiar, heart wrenching scent and letting it fill your lungs.

"What are you doing here?" you question him.

"I- uh, I need to talk to you."

"Why? So you can yell at me and then tell me to leave again?" you spit before you can even think about it.

Rafe clenches his jaw and moves his eyes from yours, glancing around the beach as he considers what the best thing to say is in response.

"I'm sorry," you mumble.

"It's fine," he shakes his head, speaking too fast to actually mean it, "I deserve it. I was an asshole. I came here to apologize."

You nod your head, doing your best to keep your eyes on his and not trailing all down his body. He's wearing the snapback you love on him, and he has on the shirt the two of you bought together at the mall on a trip.

"You may," you tease him, giving him a small smile and hoping to get one in return. You get it, thankfully.

"I'm really sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean to ever make you feel second rate. You have been so good to me and I know I don't deserve it-"

"It's okay," you stop him, reaching one hand up to stroke his cheek. His skin, his soft skin under yours feels like heaven to touch. You know the alcohol is the only reason you're not putting up a larger fight.

"I wasn't finished," he smiles widely.

"Well, what can I say? I'm a sucker for that hat," you tease.

His grin only widens as he stares down at you, pulling you into a hug before he can even think of it. His arms wrapped tightly around you make your heart rate speed up to a dangerous level.

"You promise we're okay? Maybe we should talk again when you're sobered up-"

"I'm fine," you lie.

Rafe reaches up and cups your face in his hands, staring down at you intently. You stare back, unable to break away from his gorgeous blue eyes.

"Good, because I've got something to tell you."

Rafe watches as your lips part, wanting to question him but unable to find the right words. He smiles, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before he continues.

"I love you, too," he whispers.

You blink rapidly at him, trying to figure out if he really just said those words to you. You shake your head and squirm out of his grasp, taking a deep breath as you look at him.

"You mean that?" you ask him.

"Yeah," he nods, swallowing nervously, "It took me half the day to realize it, but the thought of you down here with JJ literally made me want to kill him. And I'm sorry that I haven't realized it sooner. I was just scared of my feelings, I guess, and I just thought if I pushed you away-"

"You don't have to explain," you stop him, "I just can't believe you feel the same way about me."

"Who wouldn't? Topper informed me today that I happen to be the luckiest guy to walk the face of the earth because I'm loved by you. And I guess, I don't know, it made me recognize my feelings."

You smile, wrapping your arms around him and hugging him. He hugs you back without thinking twice, pulling you close and breathing you in. After a second, you pull away, and feel him tilt your chin up to meet his eyes.

"I don't know, I'm feeling pretty damn lucky right now," you whisper.

Before either of you know it, he places his lips gently on yours. His hands move themselves to your cheeks once again, pulling you closer to him. You both can hear Topper and Kelce hooting and hollering from yards away, which makes you laugh against Rafe's lips.

"I regret bringing them," he says against your lips, laughing along with you.

"You should," you agree, standing on your tip-toes and kissing him one more time.

"Can I take you home, now? Please?" he asks, voice impatient.

You bite your lip and nod, allowing him to give you one last kiss before he brings a hand down to yours, wrapping his fingers through it. He turns you toward the boys, the oh-so happy boys, and leads you away.

Away from the beer. Away from JJ. Toward your future, together.

Tags: @hollandsour @flowerkidlxrry @kookkyra @pogueslandia @sarahwasfound @fuzzyhumanpersontrash @rafecameronn @rafeswh0ree @outerbankies @morganwilliams

*if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist at any time, please send me an ask!

#drew starkey #rafe fic #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #rafe #rafe x you #rafe imagine #obx rafe #rafe fanfiction #rafe x y/n #rafe x reader

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saiki-k-innie · 3 years

Note

MAEMAE!

An AU where Todoroki gets hit with a quirk which divides him into two people. The red hair Shoto is the flirty sassy half and the white one is the cold (ukwim) Todoroki (see what I did there? 'Shoto' and 'Todoroki',,,,,,,sorry). You don't know how it happened; you were literally besides him when it happened but ???

So now you gotta deal with it and watch out for the Todoroki's so Endeavor doesn't notice and skins everyone alive.

Ruth ur gonna kill me- IN A GOOD WAY i've just never written Todoroki before and this is going to be a challenge. I'm eager to do it though, I have seen so much fanart where Todoroki has been split into two people--- [also yes i see what you did there-- very clever ;) ] anyway, lets see how this goes!

I’m going to do a full on fic without headcanons because that feels more natural for this request.

Part of a Whole

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Anime: My Hero Academia Character(s): Shoto Todoroki, Eijiro Kirishima, and Katsuki Bakugou Legend (y/n = your name): gender neutral reader, quirk not mentioned, Pro Hero AU Word Count: 1.4k Warnings: none, slight cursing, flirty Todoroki Notes: OUT OF CHARACTER TODOROKI!!! Yeah i’ve never written him before and now writing him split in half? DAMN ITS HARD! I’m wracking my brain trying to remember his mannerisms and behavior, then polarize it.

I will also maybe redo Todoroki’s banner because OH MY GOD i hate it so much and its off center im going to cry but i don’t have time to fix it rn

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Endeavor is going to kill me.

You stand speechless. The battle was continuing around you, but it fell on deaf ears. Mouth hanging slightly open, you look at Todoroki. Well, Todorokis now. You blink. Nope, still two of them.

Fuck.

Todoroki had split in two. One sported a full head of fiery red hair and looked like he was ready to take on the world. The other had beautiful white locks hiding downcast eyes. Your gaze lingered on the second Todoroki. He slowly raised his snowy head and his soft grey eyes pierced your skull. The amount of hatred that came from his eyes- you knew it wasn’t because of you, but it was enough to snap you out of your daze.

You whip your head around and check the surroundings. Nobody had noticed, but you couldn’t spot what had caused the split. Your partners look like they have the situation handled relatively well. They rounded up the villains, but of the ones that were caught, you didn’t think any of them did it.

"OI, RED RIOT” you call out to your former classmate, now pro hero. When you have his attention, you continue; “SHOTO AND I NEED TO GO, LIKE RIGHT NOW. I WILL EXPLAIN LATER, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?”

He smiles and hits his fists together, “Of course, y/n!!!! You did great, go do what you need to do!”

“Don’t think that you will get out of paperwork you extra!!!!!” you hear Dynamight yell over to you.

Shoving the ‘rokis out of sight, you laugh and assure Bakugou that you will be doing your fair share. You take off the top layer of your costume and use it to cover the firey Todoroki’s hair and shoulders.

“We need to get out of here,” you tell the twins quickly, but they were still getting a grip on their new forms.

“Oh, y/n~~ so eager to leave the fight? That’s not very heroic... </3″ the redhead teases while you fix the cloak around his head. He leans closer to you, just centimeters away from your face. “So desperate to be alone with me... I guess I can make an exception...”

You do a double-take. What. The. Hell. Was Todoroki... flirting with you??? You give the garment a rough tug to make sure it was secure and push him away. “We don’t have time for this. Let’s go.” You look past the now-pouting Todoroki over to the silver one. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Brushing off his coldness, you start walking into a nearby alleyway. They both follow you, but the ice king keeps his distance. The other, you couldn’t shake if you tried. Lucky you.

“Y/n~~” the redhead savored your name like honey right off the comb. “You have such a beautiful name, I could get used to saying it more often ;)”

You hear a scoff from behind you. Biting back laughter, you navigate the alleyways and side streets, heading for your nearby apartment. As you walk, you adjust your hero costume and tend to your wounds. The twins were miraculously unscathed.

You feel a pair of silver eyes on you as you struggle to dress your injuries. Without a word, you feel his cold hands on you and you stop in your tracks. He doesn’t look at you once while he’s helping you with the medical supplies he carries in his hero costume. As soon as he’s finished, he started walking away. It reminded you of how he was when you first met him. Smiling, you continued on.

What could have caused this? you think to yourself. You retrace the events of the battle in your head. There were five villains, all very powerful. Kirishima and you were dealing with two of them, but trying to keep the civilians safe at the same time. Todoroki and Bakugou had taken three of them head-on. It was so hectic, that you just had to trust your teammates that they would be okay, you had so much to do. It was when Todoroki had been split from the group that it happened.

“It was a mistake to try to take down the top heroes,” you chided the villain you had subdued. “What a shame, what a shame...” When you had finished tying the villain up, you signaled Red Riot that you had finished up. You were running to help the others since you had taken your opponent down relatively easily when a flash of light caught your eye. You switched directions, remembering that Todoroki was fighting in that area last you checked.

Avoiding the debris that was falling around you thanks to Dynamight, you quickly found the source of the light. There, behind an overturned bus shelter, were the Todorokis. They both looked dazed but were slowly regaining consciousness. You were so taken by the situation that you forgot that you were fighting villains. Your objective immediately turned to helping them instead of the fight around you. All you could think about is what will happen to you if Endeavor finds out.

Looking back, you should have assessed the situation quicker and identified the quirk user before tending to the twins. Todoroki is tough. It will take more than a strange quirk to really hurt him, but you had always been protective of him. Something in the way his eyes gleamed when he used his fire and the tone he would talk in when he was serious. Well, more serious than he was normally. He had always been there for you and you were there for him, whether he wanted you or not.

You deduced that this was the effect of a quirk, and it should wear off soon. You estimated that the longest it could stay like this was a week. It would probably wear off in his sleep, but you were curious to see what it looked like wearing off.

Looking back at the twins, who were now chatting with each other. Well, it was more like the redhead was doing all the talking. He had draped himself over the silver-eyed boy and was talking about a new topic every sentence. The icy boy felt your gaze on him and looked up at you. His expression may have seemed indifferent to anyone looking, but you could read his body language like a book. He was practically screaming at you to get the other off of him. You smile and laugh at the situation. He rolls his eyes and slides his foot forward and sends ice in your direction. You jump out of the way and stick out your tongue playfully. If it wasn’t for your training with him, you would have gotten hit. It was just like old times. That sure was Todoroki, albeit a lot more guarded. and, well, cold.

The other noticed your interaction and perked up. “Hey, y/n, me and myself were talking” he nudges the other, hoping he would recognize his joke, but the pale boy just kept walking. Rolling his teal eyes, he continued, “You can call me Shoto like you usually do when we are alone, but call him Todoroki so you can address us specifically!!!” He runs up to you and gets uncomfortably close and whispers “~~ I’ve always liked how my name sounds coming out of your pretty little mouth.”

You swing your fist at him but he catches your wrist and uses your momentum to pull you closer into a hug. He lifts your chin up and says in a sultry voice, “we can’t have that, can we darling?” he tuts and was about to say something else when Todoroki separated you two and flipped his other self onto the concrete. Shoto surprisingly didn’t fight back but just hopped up onto his feet and continued talking to his twin like nothing happened.

Eventually, you find the back entrance to your apartment building. You remove the firey boy from your arm, blocking out all of his advances as you get closer to the door. He huffs as you punch in the passcode to the door. Todoroki had been over to your apartment a million times, you paired up pretty frequently, not to mention you two were really close. You had been since high school.

You hold the door open for the silvery twin, and as he walks past you could feel the temperature go down, but not from his quirk. This was going to be fun.

And by fun, you meant torturous.

#mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #boku no hero imagines #bnha fanfic #bnha fic #mha fanfic #mha fanfiction #mha x reader #todoroki #todoroki shoto #shoto todoroki #todoroki x y/n #todoroki x reader #mha todoroki

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carry-on-my-wayward-butt · 3 years

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I just found out I'm 5 weeks after a few cycles of trying. I knew it would be rough but ur kind of scaring me now lol. I always hear mothers saying stuff like "Pregnancy was the best!" or "I miss being pregnant!" and people do it over and over again, so there must be something to love about it. Right?

Of course! there’s plenty to love about it:

many people lament the changes their body goes through during pregnancy, especially the bump growing. personally? i fucking love it. literally i’ve never loved the way my body looks more than right now, and i used to be fit as fuck. i was sleek and curvy and all sorts of hot, i look EXACTLY the opposite now and yet i LOVE it.

the dips of my stretch marks, my huge slowly rounding belly, my jiggle thighs, my muffin top hips spilling over my pants, my skin is SO fucking soft, i seriously cant keep my hands off myself. if my tits werent plagued by lymphedema i’d probably love them too, but in a sleep bra they look sooooo good in my new maternity shirts. ESPECIALLY ruffle blouses. i genuinely adore the way i look heavily pregnant, and i will absolutely miss it terribly.

i mentioned before that i hate the rolls and swishes (especially the stretches) but i LOVE kicks. seeing my belly move around is surreal and kind of freaky, but in an amazing way. kicks are so... assertive. “i’m here! i’m alright! i’m growing patiently! i’m exercising!” it’s so soothing to know they’re doing well in there, in a place i can’t reach them. i’ll poke them back and they’ll react! it’s so sweet. getting kicked in the butthole isnt so sweet, but i do think its funny tbh.

learning their routine in there is so nice in a weird way. i know what foods they react strongly to(baby loves spicy), and how they react to light. they like to settle on one side of my belly button or the other, and i can feel their head (or ass?) just hanging out there. resting. i can caress my baby through my skin. it’s gross but its so lovely.

i get to park in the expectant parking spots heehee >:3c (i already have a blue badge, but when the blue spots are full, there’s still a close space for me most of the time) i always do an evil little laugh when i pull in like im doing crimes.

my hair still falls out, but not nearly as much as it did pre-pregnancy. it gets greasy a lot slower too.

i still get pimples, but not nearly as many as i did pre-pregnancy. (T1 doesnt count. T1 was like Puberty 2. hopefully yours isnt as blegh)

i’m compelled beyond understanding to drink TONS of water. I have never drank this much daily water in my LIFE. i am extremely hydrated and feel healthy.

i’m compelled beyond understanding to get into the sunlight. i stand outside for a few moments on sunny days and feel like im photosynthesizing. i never did this before now.

im generally more optimistic rather than doomscrolling my own brain for hours a day.

i feel more responsible, i feel like the decisions i make have a future in mind rather than impulsivity. i feel purposeful. my mental health has improved drastically.

i eat so much more fruit than i used to

my sleep is plagued by nightmares sure but i sleep SO fast now. it used to take me hours to fall asleep. now it’s mere minutes. is this how the other side lives???

people are way more willing to help me, and other parents readily and eagerly answer a complete strangers random questions like “was that expensive? is it easy to use? does it fit in your car well?” that from any other person would feel upsetting and invasive. i was looking at nipple balm confusedly in target a few months ago and a total stranger called out to me and asked if i needed help, then pointed out which are vegan, which have this or that ingredient, which allergens to be aware of, which have a strong smell, which were oily or lotion-y, and when i picked one (earth mama butter) just said “great choice, you’re gonna smell so good. good luck babe!” and left with her cute toddler who was happily chanting “nip-ple, nip-ple, nip-ple,”. ideal interaction. i still think about that woman. she smelled like cheerios and strawberries.

there’s plenty to love and enjoy, just like theres plenty to hate and be miserable about.

and when it comes to people who say “pregnancy was the best! i miss it!” i personally have a feeling that if it’s not because of stigma of looking “unappreciative” of pregnancy, it is because keeping an infant alive is fucking miserable, and parenting blows chunks. i’m sure that comparatively, being extremely uncomfortable and in pain for the better part of a year might actually have been the best part for them, even if they had the roughest parts.

i’ll definitely miss the way i currently feel about my body. i’ll miss the QUIET for sure, and the idleness. and ill miss sleeping so soundly, even if there’s nightmares. i’ll miss getting to shirk chores because my body hurts, and i’ll miss having 100% of my husband’s attention, but he’ll miss having 100% of mine too so at least its fair.

but........ i won’t be doing this again :^) at least unless i have free healthcare, because my GOD the bills are OUTRAGEOUS. fuck that shit.

congrats on your success, anon. it’s a rollercoaster.

#i want a second one but i'm thinking we'll adopt #long post #again soz #pregnancy #for ts #me babby #op #ask #Anonymous

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speechlessxx · 4 years

Text

Secret’s Out (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Summary: Steve Rogers is a terrible liar.

Warnings: this was rushed (literally came to me in my sleep so im sorry if it’s kinda on the bad side), Bucky and Sam being an iconic duo, nothing bad really happens it’s just humorous.

I’m not gonna lie this is more Bucky & Sam teasing Steve than it is Steve x Reader.

Word Count: 2.1k

Feedback is appreciated! I hope you enjoy!

THIS IS A CONTINUATION OF Heaven is in Your Arms

Steve Rogers is a terrible liar.

Everyone knows. He’s god’s righteous man. He’s America’s golden boy – the perfect soldier. Steve Rogers is many things, but a good liar is not one of them.

His tells were clear as day. He’d advert his gaze, he’d blush a bit, his brows would furrow, or his fingers would tremble slightly. Sometimes he’d completely ignore a question so that he wouldn’t have to provide an answer. Only those who really knew the soldier knew exactly what to look for.

“When can we see this new place?” Bucky had asked one afternoon as Steve stopped by the compound to train. Steve pretended that he didn’t hear his friend as he directed an agent to use their agility against an opponent twice their size. Bucky chuckled a bit.

Sam walked up to the two men after his session in the weight room. His skin glistened with sweat as he put his arm on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky scowled at him, shrugging his sweaty arm off. “So, Steve, it’s been a year since you moved out. How’s the city life?”

“It’s great.” Steve responded just before he barked instructions to the agents. The other two shared a glance.

“You see, Bucko,” Sam started, “to get Steve to answer you, you gotta ask the right questions.”

“Is that so?” Bucky asked, mockingly.

Sam nodded with a smirk. “You gotta make this man sweat a little.”

“Don’t you two have some reports to finish?” Steve cut in.

“Reports were mandatory?” Bucky asked, his brows shot up in surprise. Steve and Sam frowned a bit and looked at their older friend with concern. “I’m kidding.” (He was not).

“Any sweet ladies in the city that you would like the team to know about?” Sam asked. Steve’s muscles stiffened as his jaw clenched. Sam and Bucky immediately took notice of his reaction. Steve’s silence gave them all the confirmation. “Hmmm… We can give you lady advice, Steve. You know we got you.”

“You guys are as bad as Natasha,” Steve muttered as he shook his head. (Little did they know that their advice wasn’t needed).

The following day was Steve’s day off. He promised you a picnic at the park as his apology for the 5-day mission that turned out to be a week and a half. You wore a thin light blue sweater and he wore his signature civilian get up – compete with the plaid button up and slacks. Of course, he made casual look dapper.

You laid out the blanket and flattened it onto the grass before you sat down. Steve placed the wicker basket in the center of the blanket before he situated himself next to you. He threw you a grin as you opened the basket.

“What’s got you in a happy mood?” You asked him as you pulled out your sandwiches.

He shrugged. “I don’t know… just happy to be here with you.”

“That’s cute, Rogers,” you chuckled.

Steve smirked as you began to eat. “This is great, honestly.” He said, taking a bite into his food. You quirked an eyebrow up at him as you swallowed. “You, me, picnic in the park. City’s not being attacked by aliens.” You laughed. He smiled. He loved hearing you laugh.

“What’s the next threat? Zombies?” You joked.

Steve gave you a teasing look. “That’s confidential.”

“Oh, please tell me it’s zombies. I’ve been binge watching zombie movies and I’m 100% certain I’ll survive.” Steve rolled his eyes as you ranted on about zombie survival 101.

“I’ve fought Nazis, Aliens, Titans – please, please, let it stop there. No zombies,” Steve chuckled.

“Scared, Steve?” You taunted.

He scoffed. “Not when I have a zombie expert by my side, darling.” You teasingly looked away. “Wait, you will be by my side during a zombie apocalypse, right?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but – “Steve’s jaw dropped in fake betrayal. You immediately took back your words. “Wait, no! Steve!” You reached over to him, but he snatched his hand away. You gasped. “How rude!”

“You have the audacity to leave me to fend for myself!” Steve pouted.

“Pouting doesn’t look good on you, Stevie.”

He gasped again, a hand flew to his heart. “Now you’re just trying to break my heart, doll.”

“Come here, you big baby,” you rolled your eyes at him as you pulled him to a kiss.

When you pulled away, Steve said, “oh, I think my heart is still broken.” He pulled you back in and smiled into the kiss.

“Oh my!” A woman’s voice gasped. You two broke apart and saw Margaret, your neighbor, strolling around with her yorkie.

“Miss Margaret, it’s pleasure to see you.” You smiled at the woman and she returned it.

“Clearly not as pleasurable as your little moment,” she teased which caused you to blush. You chuckled awkwardly as you looked away. “I’m glad to see you both out and enjoying this lovely day. You know how these millennials are nowadays. Always indoors, playing on their little Instachat and SnapPay.” Steve chuckled at her wording. (Before he had met you, he’d often mix up the social media platforms himself). “Oh, (Y/N), would you be a dear and walk the pup for a bit? I can’t bend down – “

“Oh, I can – “Steve began, but Margaret was very adamant that you were the one to go. Without hesitation, you stood up and took the leash from her. You cooed at the yorkie, who was very excited to see you, as you walked away.

“Now, Stevie,” Margaret said, her tone becoming stern, “have you gotten the ring?” Steve smiled as he admitted, yes. “Do you have it on you?”

“I’ve been waiting for the right time,” Steve confessed.

“Now’s a perfect time if any,” Margaret pushed. “She’s such a sweet girl. You’re a great man. You’ve been together for a while now…”

“I don’t want to ask her at an inappropriate time. I haven’t even decided what to say,” Steve admitted with embarrassment. He was known for his remarkable, inspirational speeches but for some reason he’d become speechless when he tried to propose. Every time he had the opportunity to pop the question, he became a fumbling, babbling mess that he just dropped it altogether. The velvet box he carried in his pocket for months became heavier and heavier.

“Practice, sweetheart.”

Steve sighed as he tried.

In all honesty, they could’ve done better. Hiding out in an inconspicuous van made look even more suspicious. But the two grew impatient and desperate as they parked the black van (minutes after you’ve left to walk the dog).

“What do you see?” Bucky asked Sam who had binoculars pressed up against his eyes.

“He’s talking to an old lady,” Sam muttered. “Oh, my god.”

“What?” Bucky asked, trying to take the lenses but Sam shoved him away.

“He’s asking this old lady to marry him!” Sam screamed. This time Bucky was successful at tearing the binoculars from Sam’s grip.

“What the hell, punk,” Bucky muttered.

“Damn, I knew he had a girl, but I didn’t know he had… a grandma…” Sam laughed. “Steve really took Nat’s ‘get a girl with the same life experience’ thing too seriously. She’s probably been alive as long as you, Bucky.” The two erupted into fits of laughter.

“Sammy, you owe me 10 bucks.”

-=+=-

Steve showed up to the compound the next with a big smile. He had done it. He had actually done it. And you said yes despite his stuttering and ‘um’s. You said yes.

“So, Stevie,” Sam started as Steve began to lift weights. “Anything fun happen on your day off?” Steve didn’t respond.

“Yeah, punk, anything interesting?”

“Actually,” Steve muttered as he lifted the weights with ease, “yeah. Something interesting did happen.”

“Oooh?” Sam stifled his laugh. “Do tell.”

“I will later.” Steve promised.

Nat walked into the gym and frowned at the two men who huddled around Steve. “Are you sharing stories around the campfire or are you working out?” She asked the two.

“Gossiping,” Sam answered.

“Steve walked in with the biggest grin on his face,” Bucky explained to Natasha as he walked over to another machine.

“Oh?” Natasha smirked as she sauntered over to Steve. “This have something to do with a girl?”

“A lady?” Sam asked.

“An old dame, perhaps?” Bucky added. Steve shot him a confused stare before shrugging.

“Perhaps.”

This made Sam and Bucky burst out into laughter again.

-=+=-

You fumbled with the ring as you rode anxiously in the taxi. The ring was dainty and elegant. It wasn’t too flashy (not that it needed to be). It was simple and beautiful – much like the life that you were building together. The man offered you a kind smile through the rearview mirror which you returned. “Avengers Compound, huh?” He asked. “You a recruit or something?”

“Oh no,” you shook your head, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Just visiting someone.”

“Must be one hell of a someone to be working there.” The man laughed. You chuckled.

“He sure is.”

-=+=-

“Why are you calling a meeting?” Tony asked Steve with an exasperated look on his face. He had just returned from a trip to MIT with Pepper. He was clearly tired. “And why aren’t we in the meeting room?”

Steve sighed as he looked towards the front doors. Any second now.

“Steve wants us to meet someone,” Sam explained. He and Bucky shared a look as they both stopped themselves from laughing.

“Cut it out,” Natasha scolded.

“Oh, you’re gonna be laughing, too,” Bucky mumbled. “Just wait.”

Suddenly the entrance opened, and Steve immediately ran towards it. You gave him a nervous look while he gave you an encouraging smile. He took your hand in his as he walked you towards the group. Bucky and Sam immediately stopped snickering.

“Okay, everyone, this is (Y/N).” Steve introduced. Everyone was in a standstill. “She’s my fiancé.” There was a moment of silence as Bucky and Sam tried to piece together their puzzle, only to realize they were looking at the wrong picture the entire time. Unless Steve magically had the Time Stone and reversed your aging, you definitely weren’t the elderly woman in the park.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” Natasha finally smiled as she walked up to you and gave you a warm embrace. “He’s kept the details to himself. Not much of a talker.”

You nodded, the nervous smile still dancing on your lips. “So, you’re the reason why Steve left?” Tony asked, abruptly. “Left the compound, I mean.”

You glanced at Steve who shook his head. “Uh, no… I told him to stay. He’s the stubborn one.” Natasha laughed at your response.

“Wait, wait,” Sam said, shaking his head. The confusion still fresh. “That old lady in the park from yesterday? She isn’t who you proposed to? Because I vividly remember seeing you get on one knee and ask her.”

“You were in the park?” Steve asked.

“We both were.” Bucky admitted.

“You proposed to Margaret?” You asked, a laugh escaping you. Steve blushed. “Aw, Stevie!” You gushed as you kissed his cheek. “When you told me you were nervous, I didn’t think you were that nervous.”

“So, Margaret is?”

“Our neighbor,” you laughed.

“She asked you to walk her dog so that she can scold me for not asking already.” Steve confessed to you. “She helped me pick the ring out months ago.”

“Months?” Tony asked, brows rose in surprise. “C’mon, pal, you gotta step up your game.”

“Happy had been carrying around a ring since 2008, sit down, Stark,” Natasha defended. She asked if she could look at your ring. You held up your hand and she marveled at the diamond. “Nice taste, Rogers.”

“Wait,” Steve cut in. “You guys thought I was dating Margaret, my elderly neighbor?”

“Whose old enough to be my grandmother’s grandmother?” You asked.

Bucky and Sam nodded, shamefully. You and Steve laughed. “Why were you guys stalking me?” Steve added, frowning a bit.

“You weren’t answering our questions.” Bucky answered. “We were curious.” Steve opened his mouth, but Bucky pointed at him, accusingly. “Don’t say ‘you could’ve asked’ because we did… You just wanted to keep your life a secret. And you’re a terrible liar.”

Steve gaped at his response and looked at you for your input. You shrugged. “You are a terrible liar, babe.”

“Wow, thanks, darling.” Steve said sarcastically.

“Well, secret’s out.” Sam clapped. “Steve Rogers officially off the market, for good.”

“Hey,” Bucky said, bumping Sam’s shoulder. “You owe me ten dollars.”

Sam shrugged him off. “Man, get off me, you little roach.”

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fic #chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fic #fan fiction #reader insert #x reader #captain america #captain america imagine #captain america x reader

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missdawnandherdusk · 4 years

Text

Night Moves

Draco X Reader (college!AU)

Summary: Healing was a long process, and Draco was there to wait for you.

A/n: Do I know what this is? No, not really. It’s cute and fluffy and a warm up as I get into the habit of writing again now that the semester has been winding down. Let me know if you want more modern college stuff, because I don’t mind it one bit. I love y’all, and as always, I want to know what you think.

I paused, a call coming in from a familiar name. I answered it, pausing my work.

“Are you in bed?” His voice sounded almost excited.

“Uh... no?” I raised an eyebrow that he couldn’t see. “Just working on some stuff for class,”

“So... you haven’t showered or anything?” He pressed.

“No,” I almost laughed, leaning back in my desk chair. “I’m still presentable if that’s your question.”

“It is,” He sounded delighted. “I’ll be outside in twenty minutes.”

“For what?” I pressed on, closing my laptop. “Draco, why am I being kidnapped tonight?”

“Does it matter?” He countered and I could hear the engine of his car thrum. “Twenty minutes.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I chuckled. “I’ll see you then.”

Smiling, I stood from my desk, stretching. Checking the mirror to make sure that I was presentable, I concluded I would be good enough for me. Probably not Draco, but that could be his problem. Humming and straightening up around my room for the night, knowing that I wouldn’t be back until late, I leaned against my desk waiting for his call to let me know he was outside my building.

The call came and I grabbed a sweater and headed downstairs, breaking out into the crisp air of the night. He was there, of course, looking pristine as ever, leaning against his shiny sleek black car. The smile on his face was more valuable than his sports car and immaculate outfit, however. It had been a while since I had seen him smile like that.

“You’re unusually chipper,” I noted.

“My classes were canceled for tomorrow and thought you might like a break from your essays and projects,” He raised an eyebrow, opening the car door for me before rounding the car to get in himself.

“You’d be right,” I smiled, taking his passenger seat.

Stopping at a local sweet shop and picking up more than enough for the two of us, we drove the city streets, alive with night life, laughing at the ridiculousness of the outing. Pulling up to his apartment building, we crashed on his couch, on a sugar and freedom high.

Settling on the next show on our list of things to watch together, we found blankets, tea, and comfort in the soft lighting of the tv. I glimpsed over at Draco as one episode shifted to another, and in the blue light he seemed almost at peace. Like there was no weight on his shoulders anymore.

“You’re staring,” He raised an eyebrow, glancing over at me.

“Well, you’re so gosh darn pretty,” I taunted, rolling my eyes, and looking away. “Am I not allowed to look at you then?” My tone remained in jest.

“I suppose I’ll allow it,” He grinned.

“Thank you so much,” My face fell flat at his antics.

The hour grew later and our sugar high waned until my eyes had a hard time staying open all the way and I was slumped against Draco, who wasn’t faring much better than I was. My hand absentmindedly played with his, tracing random patterns on his warm skin and fidgeting with his rings.

His hand pulled from my, drawing my attention to his face, which was now closer than I had originally thought. I wasn’t afraid though. It was Draco. I trusted him more than most.

In the fog of the sugar crash, the blue light, and the late hour, a softness fell between us. Comfortable and safe. Vulnerable.

My eyes finally slipped closed as he drew nearer. But I paused.

Looking down, I pulled back fractionally. He let out the breath he was holding and backed away as well.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, hopeless. “I...”

“No, I’m sorry,” his voice was soft and gentle.

“God no don’t apologize,” I almost laughed, my hands resting on his chest. “It’s not you. It’s me. I...”

“It’s him,” he answered softly. We had been friends long enough for Draco to know the pain that my past love had caused to me heart and the tears that came of it.

“Yeah,” I let out a defeated sigh. “I’m... I’m really sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize either,” he tilted my chin up so that I would meet his eyes. “What he did... whatever he did... that’s not your fault.”

“But,”

“No,” he stopped me gently.

I sat up, pulling away from him and hugged my knees. “It’s so stupid,”

“It’s not stupid.” He replied softly, tucking my hair behind my ear.

“I’m... I’m just so scared,” I confessed to the soft blankets around us. “And it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” I could hear the smile in his voice as his arm pulled me close to him. “Smartest girl there is. Knows Latin for crying out loud and here she is calling herself stupid,” Tucking me into his arms, I uncurled a bit.

“I am stupid. I was stupid I... I don’t want to screw up like that again,” Tears picked my eyes. “I don’t want to go through that again.”

“Hey,” he called softly, causing my to look up at him. “Just because he screwed up doesn’t mean you have to for the rest of your life,” a smile drew on my face. “And not that I don’t value your affection but, it’s just a kiss sweetheart. It’s not heartbreak and tears. It’s not forever. It’s just tonight.”

I nodded and wiped away my tears, resting my head on his shoulder, finding comfort in his words. He rubbed my arm softly, holding me in the quiet of the night. Quietly he pressed his lips to the crown of my head and inhaled deeply.

“Thank you, Draco,” I whispered, silent tears falling. “I know it’s not fair to you,”

“I wouldn’t say that,” He refuted. “I know you need time. I’m here to wait,”

A smile played at my lips. “You... you don’t mind? I... I know it’s a lot.”

“Even if were nothing more than friends, it’s enough for me Y/n,” He smiled down at me. “If I get to watch you rise from the ashes and become a new healed person, that’s more than I could ever ask for,”

“You really are something else Draco, you know that?” I looked up at him, laying my head on his shoulder. A deep breath. “And if you’re willing to wait, I’d love to wait with you,” A deeper thought. “Just let me make it through a year... let me try a year without him...”

“But not alone,” Draco assured, tightening his grip on me. “Let’s get you home though,”

“Is it that awkward?” I dismayed.

“No,” He laughed, and I could feel it shake through him. “But it is nearly two in the morning and I do believe you have class in the morning?”

“Are you gonna be okay driving?” I asked with genuine concern.

“Give me a little credit Y/n,” He rolled his eyes, taking the both of us to our feet. “We’ll be fine,”

“Okay...” I was still skeptical.

“You’re quiet,” He noted as we drove through the sleeping city.

“Thinking,” I replied, tearing my gaze from the twinkling lights and to him. “I... I didn’t... I haven’t been leading you on have I? Because I never meant to,”

There must have been something in my tone or in the worry on my face that made him laugh.

“No,” He clarified. “Though it would be hard for anyone near you not to fall for you in some way,”

I offered a small smile. It faded as my depressing thoughts came back.

“I’m sorry, was that too much?” He consoled softly, his voice barely audible above the hum of the car.

“I... No, I don’t think so,” I decided. “I don’t know,” I sighed, wrapping my arms around myself. “You... you know... I... I’m okay...”

“You’re okay in the moment, but afterward, when you’re alone is when it starts to hurt again,” Somehow, he always had the words that I could never find. I hummed an acknowledgement. “Just...” Now it seemed that he was at a loss for words. “Don’t stop telling me what hurts, even if it’s something I do,”

Nodding, I gave a smile.

“Thanks, Draco,”

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