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ffwriterbts · 3 years

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Lunar- BTS Werewolf AU Part 3

AN: As I’ve said before, if slowburn BTS werewolf AUs that have springlings of angst, smut, and fluff, this is the story for you! Other than that, please leave a like or comment so I know you’re enjoying the story!! I’m doing basically double of what I had planned for this part bc it’s been so long since I updated~

Word Count: 6,060

Warnings: Blood; Angst; A wolf attack; Some medicinal references; Mental health issues

Posted: 23 Dec 2020

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Once YN gets into the groove of creation, she doesn’t stop until she’s either almost pissing herself, or so hungry/thirsty she’s about to faint. YN has never known how to do things like this in moderation, and if she was actually being honest with herself she really should have had someone else there to make sure she takes breaks and actually ends up eating and drinking and taking care of herself in the ways that every human needs to.

But instead, she stayed there, hunched over the too-large desk in a too-large chair, surrounded by too-large wolves, completely ignoring her basal instincts in favor of destroying her spine and having words flow from her finger tips. She’s so caught up in the world and characters she’s created, that she doesn’t even notice when the grey wolf leaves his post, with one of the brown ones taking his place. She doesn’t notice the generally worrying sounds coming from outside her home, or the way the two brown wolves rush away. She doesn’t notice the way the black wolf stands guard, protectively standing between YN’s hunched form and the door, a snarl etched onto his beautiful-but-terrifying face.

That is, she doesn’t notice any of these things until the other three wolves come crashing back into the house, the scent of blood heavy in the air. The black wolf growls, nudging YN and breaking her from her trance. Once she realizes what’s going on, or at least that someone’s hurt, YN immediately turns away from her computer, tripping over her own two feet in her rush to get out the door.

She has no idea how long she’s been typing away, but her legs feel like jello and she’s slightly dizzy as she stands and subsequently falls. But the fall jolts her awake, the stinging in her knees seeming to bring all the feeling back into her legs all at once.

Ignoring the pain, YN scrambles out and towards the back door, running into three wolves with bloodstained muzzles and paws. YN recoils, both from the strong scent and the terrifying sight of gigantic wolves with blood all over them, but before she can truly react, they push past her and right into the main bathroom.

YN follows them, shocked and worried and in a daze, absently thankful that the house has such a large bathroom. She watches as the messiest of them, the grey wolf, steps quickly into the jacuzzi tub, before all their heads turn towards her. For a moment, she just stares back at them, but the black wolf behind her nudges her, pushing her forward, she walks into the bathroom, turning the water on and grabbing a washcloth.

She mutters to herself about soap, absently grabbing the pet shampoo that she found under the sink and didn’t have the heart to throw out to try to help clean the blood, before she sits in the tub, taking one of the wolves huge paws into her hand.

Nevermind the fact she’s sitting in water, or the fact that she could easily be killed right then and there by the huge beasts, she doesn’t process anything that’s going on. She doesn’t even try.

Instead she works, cleaning paws and muzzles and coats, drying fur and addressing minor cuts and scrapes, sending the wolves away as she finishes with them so she can clean everything. It isn’t until she’s on her hands and knees, scrubbing the floor with all her might to remove the bloody paw prints that lead from her door to the bathroom, that she really thinks about anything.

That blood could have been from anything. From anyone. For all she knew, she was helping four wolves that could somehow talk in her head to her commit a murder.

And so, she cried.

On her hands and knees, in the bathroom that once belonged to her grandparents, then her uncle, and now her.

She sobbed, collapsing down onto the floor, banging her fists against it in a way that she felt sure would hurt in the morning, but now only served to tether her to the moment.

It couldn’t be real, could it? It felt real, sure, but was it? Really?

But when her eyes cleared of tears, and the pain of sitting on her knees for too long combined with the sting of hitting the floor with too much strength were remembered, there were still the remnants of bloody paw prints on the floor.

There were still four wolves watching her intently.

And then there were three, two.

And then only the black wolf remained, his eyes following her as she did what she needed to in order to put her house back in order.

She was comforted, in a strange way, by the wolf. Her wolf.

YN was working tirelessly to make sure everything was okay, that everything was normal, and still completely ignoring her body.

Her knees hurt, both from her fall and from sitting on them for too long. Her fingers were stiff, her hands stinging. She was incredibly hungry, not having eaten much of anything in the past two days, and it wasn’t like she was drinking anything either. She felt dizzy, off kilter, light headed. And to top it all off, her back felt like it might as well have been on fire, with all the weird contortions she’d been doing for the past couple days.

‘Rest.’

It was her wolf’s voice, breaking through the noise of her thoughts.

“I’m not done here wolf. No rest.” She mumbles, but she’s sure he can hear her.

‘Not a suggestion.’

His voice was stronger this time, and punctuated by a sharp growl. Suddenly, a paw bats the scrubber out of her hands, a muzzle pushing her over and onto the floor.

‘Rest.’

YN let out a strangled sort of half sob, curling herself into a ball. She did need the rest, that wasn’t really up for dispute, but what she really wanted was not to have to be the one to take care of everything anymore.

Slowly, the wolf nudges YN to the point she’s fully around again, and she slowly gets to her feet. She drags herself to her room and collapses onto her bed, not even bothering to pull the covers over herself, instead wrapping her arms around one of her pillows and giving in to the great need for rest.

Later, she wouldn’t be able to tell anyone why she did what she did, or why she felt like there wasn’t any other choice for her. The memories of that night would always be fragmented for her, shattered into a million little pieces that didn’t really seem real. It was just too much.

She could handle the blood, she could handle the injury, she could handle the talking in her brain. YN could handle all of it separately, she had no doubt about that. But together? Like this? That was more than she was able to understand.

The worst part? It was too much for her to rationalize away.

She had felt the soft fur of the wolves between her fingers, felt the sticky residue their rough tongues left on her hands, felt the weight of their heads resting on her. She had smelled the sharp scent of blood mixed with the comforting smell of the forest she loved so much, she had smelled the musky odor they left behind. She had heard their yelps and howls and growls, heard their voices floating around her mind in a way that was completely distinct from anything she had ever thought herself. She saw them as they stalked around her home, saw them as their beautiful eyes followed her from place to place.

But still, she felt crazy. Insane. And it tore her up inside in a way she was wholly unprepared for.

The wolf watches as she does all of this, knowing full well exactly the amount of mental anguish was running through her veins. Sometimes, he really hated their ability to read minds, seeing as it was usually just incredibly inconvenient, but it was at times like this he could see the bittersweet aspects of it. He knew, eventually YN would learn to protect her mind and he wouldn’t be able to see these things, but for the time being, he was completely free to access the raw, painful, heart wrenching emotions and traumas that pass through YN’s brain.

Slowly, the wolf planted the seeds of their return into her life, knowing that right now, the best thing would be to make sure they leave her and leave as little of their scent behind as possible. He didn’t like the idea of leaving her without any protection, but they knew that’s what they had to do. They’d never liked having to leave innocent people without anything to keep them from getting hurt.

The wolf stalked over to the now sleeping human, softly nudging her hand one last time, before slipping out of her home with a practiced sort of light stealth. He would hang around outside until dawn, and then slink away into the forest to join back up with the rest of his pack.

~~~~~

In the next couple months, YN fell back into her usual routine, with only one big change, surprisingly.

After she woke up alone that first day, YN tried to rationalize what had happened to her. She had been hallucinating, or hadn’t been sleeping enough, or took one too many walks in the woods and let her imagination get the better of her, or- well, something like that at least.

And those first few weeks, YN was comfortable calling the experience a fever dream of some sort and leaving it at that. Life goes on. She still had deadlines to meet and a home to take care of. She still took walks in the woods, she still holed herself away to write, she still was learning how to can and preserve and experimenting with all the foods she never got to before. She was still happy, living in the large home alone, going weeks without talking to anyone else face to face, dodging questions from her mother.

That was, at least, until they started showing up again.

The wolves were back. Well, not back per se, not in the same way they were, but they were around. She would catch them out of the corners of her eyes, or look out her window and find the forest had gained a pair of eyes to spy on her, or she’d open up the back door and find a wolf lounging in a nice patch of sun between the forest and the door, always squarely centered on her favorite little path.

Something in YN wanted to go over to them, wanted to talk to them, wanted to ask them a million questions about what happened, because if they weren't as real as they seemed, she was going batshit insane.

She could see them, following her as she went from one place to the next in the forest she loved. She could hear them breaking twigs under their great weight every now and then. But they never got close to her. They never came up to her door, they never tried to get in, they never got close enough for her to look at them.

It was frustrating for YN, sure, but she accepted them as beings that would just always be on the edge of her vision, watching from the shadows and seemingly keeping tabs on her. Every now and then she would call out and say this or that to them, but she would never get any sort of a response.

In short, YN got used to having the figures in the corners of her eyes. She got used to the forest having eyes. She got used to the feeling of being watched by them, which surprisingly didn’t make her feel anything but safe.

And so she fell right back into her routine, right back into everything she had been doing before the strange couple days, with only the small addition of eyes following her most of the time.

But as she cooked and cleaned and wrote and weeded and went on her walks in the forest, it felt like something wasn’t quite right. It felt like there was something missing, though YN had no idea how to put something like that into anything resembling words.

Instead, the feeling of loss and wrongness settled into the pit of her stomach as a sort of unwavering heaviness, making her feel slightly sick almost all the time, like the last day of a bad stomach bug. She didn’t even attempt to connect the dots between her deeply unsettled stomach and the disappearing of the wolves, or between the fact she felt slightly better when she was aware that one of the wolves was watching her, studying her. No, instead she just dealt with it, slowly eating less and less and working more and more, figuring she just needed to sleep it off or something.

And she really didn’t connect the dots when two giant men showed up at her door, both of them the ethereal kind of pretty, and the pains that had seemingly antagonized her on and off for literal months up and disappeared.

~~~~~

YN had woken up earlier than usual, not that she had really gotten that much sleep in the first place. She was tired, but honestly, she had more important things to worry about than if she was getting enough sleep or not. There were deadlines that were fast approaching, and her editor was sending her works back with more and more things to work on and correct.

She was in the process of making herself the strongest pot of coffee she could and scrounging around the fridge to make sure she had enough food for the rest of the day, when she heard a knock at the door. At first, she thought it was the front door, grumbling and setting things aside to deal with them in a minute, but just as she was passing the back door, the knocking came again, unmistakably from there.

Brow furrowing in confusion, YN pivots on her heel and slides the back door open, half expecting to be murdered where she stood by some rogue escaped serial killer, on the loose and thirsting for blood. Instead she was met with two very tall, incredibly attractive men, both of whom had bright smiles on their faces.

“Um, hi?” YN says, absently taking a step back so she can see up to their faces easier.

“Hello! My name is Namjoon, and this is my partner, Seokjin. We were just in the area and saw your lights on, so we figured we would come and properly say hello and introduce ourselves.” The taller of the two men, Namjoon, spoke, and the other gave a bright smile and wave.

“Please, call me Jin.” He says

“Oh um I’m YN, it’s a pleasure to meet you!” YN speaks very formally, unsure of what else to do. “Would you like to come in for some coffee? Maybe a bite to eat?”

Her mouth works before she can think of what’s going on, but the two men gladly accept, and it’s not like she can take the offer back, so she sets about making them coffee, asking them questions about what kind of things they would like for their breakfast.

It doesn’t take long for YN to feel much more comfortable, joking and laughing with the large men, getting to know them. In fact, the only thing she finds to be weird about them, other than their incredibly large size (which does nothing but make her feel small in a way she had never felt before), was the fact that neither of them had shoes. But YN, ever being the polite and courteous host, didn’t ask them about that, and purposefully put it out of her mind.

“So where are you two from? It must be a pretty nice place, judging by how you’re dressed.” YN asks almost absently, hoping up into one of the chairs around the dining table. For the life of her, she could never figure out why so many things seemed to just be sized up.

She almost misses how Namjoon and Jin share a glance with each other before answering, before Jin clears his throat, giving a small shake of his head.

“We actually live on the other side of the woods. It’s pretty far, seeing as the whole thing is completely protected, but yeah, it’s a pretty nice place. We love it, and we get to live with the 5 people we love most in the world.” Seokjin speaks in a tone that expresses just how much love and adoration he holds for the people involved.

“Oh that’s lovely! Are they children of yours?” YN asks, turning her head down to focus on stirring sugar and creamer into her coffee, completely missing the glance that is passed between Namjoon and Seokjin.

“No, not really. I mean, we helped to raise them, but they’re all full grown adults.” Jin responds, looking to Namjoon to add anything he deemed to be important.

“Yoongi and Hobi are older than me, so I would hope they aren’t our kids.” Namjoon chuckles, taking a bite of his food and letting out a small hum of appreciation.

“So you’re just like a big happy family?” YN asks, a little lost in the swirling of the coffee before her, absently still asking questions.

Jin and Namjoon both share a look, both of them knowing full well that YN wasn’t really paying that much attention to them, seeing as she was practically throwing her thoughts in their direction.

“Yeah, we really are. Some people don’t understand us, but that’s okay, not everyone understands how other people live.” Namjoon speaks again, softly smiling at the girl, who was still intently stirring her coffee. Despite the fact that he had only just formally met her, there was a sort of fondness growing in his chest for the girl.

“That’s so sweet!” YN gushes, finally tearing her eyes away from the coffee and back up to the faces of her guests. “I’ve always wanted a family like that.”

YN smiles widely at the men, settling in to talk to them about this and that, and honestly, she thoroughly enjoyed every second she spent with them. After months of not being able to eat right, she was finally able to put away an entire meal, plus coffee and water, without any difficulties. Plus, she was surprisingly happy to have contact with real people again, after so long living in what is basically isolation.

When the men finally took their leave, after almost four hours that is, they promised they would be back soon, and that they would bring some of the other boys with them next time. YN laughed as she told them that she would be absolutely delighted to get to meet the people that she had now heard so many stories about, making them promise they wouldn’t be strangers before they finally disappeared.

She noted, almost absently, that they walked right out the back door and down her favorite path in the forest, barefoot, but she was so happy at the fact that she had made friends with new people, that she chose to ignore that fact.

In fact, she chose to ignore a lot of things after she took what was left of her coffee into the study, still intent on getting work done. It wasn’t two hours after they left that YN was back to having the same stomach pains she had grown so used to.

Silently cursing herself, thinking it had to have been from drinking almost an entire pot of coffee after weeks of not sleeping correctly, not even attempting to consider that it was from anything other than that. Surely, it had to have been a complete coincidence that Jin and Namjoon were there during the time that she was actually feeling normal, right? And again, another coincidence that she started feeling worse after they left, right? Nothing else would have made any sort of sense, after all, and YN was great at rationalizing.

However, even someone as great at rationalizing as YN had to start putting the pieces together at some point. Despite this, YN was also incredibly stubborn and refused to think any of her issues were anything other than just the protests of a body that is used too often for things that it really shouldn’t be, and pushed towards, or past, limits that were not meant to be broken.

~~~~~~

Jin and Namjoon, on the other hand, were incredibly pleased with themselves. They now knew for sure that YN didn’t really know too much, and didn’t trust her overactive imagination enough to trust what she had seen and experienced fully. That part, at least, reassured them that she wasn’t going to turn them into any government officials.

However, they were still incredibly confused. How could a clear Omega like YN not know anything? Sure, she hadn’t fully presented yet, but they could smell it off her a mile away, and that’s why Yoongi decided to trust her when she found him out in the woods. And yet, she was completely unprotected. There was no Alpha, no Beta, no pack looking out for her.

And for whatever reason, they decided that they would have to at least make sure she didn’t die or fall into the wrong hands. At least, until the Beta that they had smelled around the premises came back to collect their Omega.

But then one month passed.

Two.

Three.

They didn’t see anyone else go into the house. Hell, they barely saw her leave! Everyday, the scent of a possible Beta got fainter and fainter, and they began to muse that maybe, just maybe, the Beta had just caught wind of the untethered Omega and tried to get in there for themself.

And so, the pack had decided it was time that they met her as people, and figured out what was actually going on. Despite everything, it hurt them to see the little Omega working herself so hard, in so much pain, so confused about what was going on.

So Jin and Namjoon, ever looking out for their pack, made their way over to her home at dawn, waiting until they knew she was awake to go knock on the door.

Immediately, they had their guard up, waiting for the telltale signs of an Omega probing into their minds, but nothing came. They went into her home, ate her food, drank her coffee and water, but most importantly, they talked.

Jin was suspicious, going into it. He was sure that YN held some sort of ulterior motive, that she was going to ambush them or try to poison them, or… something. But seeing her standing at her door, absolutely minuscule by their standards, still blinking sleep from her eyes with confusion etched onto her features because of the early hour and the men she had never seen, he felt the same sort of gut feeling of trust that Yoongi had felt when he was lying in the woods.

That Namjoon had felt when he decided it was fine for them to spend the day with YN, until Yoongi was well enough to travel home.

That Jungkook and Taehyung had felt when they walked into her home and wanted to play, though they behaved on Namjoon’s order.

Jin decided then and there that they had to protect YN, no matter the cost. And Namjoon, hearing his most trusted person’s utter trust of the girl, came to the same conclusion not a second later. YN was meant to be with them, they could feel it in their bones. They shared a glance, both of them hoping that she felt it too.

Once the pair arrived back at the house, they were met with a bombardment of questions from the other five, especially Jimin and Hoseok, who hadn’t had the chance to meet YN in any way just yet.

“Come on now hyung! Out with it! What’s your verdict?” Jimin almost whines as he bounces on his feet, wanting to go and meet YN himself. “I wanna meet her!”

Jin and Namjoon share a glance, the kind that makes the rest of the boys pay attention, fearing that they had made a mistake, and YN wasn’t half as trustworthy as she seemed to be.

“Well, we trust her. We think it was right to trust her, and right to let her help you, Yoongi.” Namjoon is the one that speaks, his tone serious despite the smile that breaks onto his features at the end of his sentence.

“YN invited us to all come over sometime, preferably soon. She really is excited to meet all of you, after all the stories we told today.” Jin lets out his signature laugh as he nudges the man standing beside him, causing the boys standing before the two to celebrate.

“When are we going then? We know she doesn’t have much of a schedule.” Yoongi speaks up as he flinches away from the loud celebration of Jimin and Hoseok beside him, affection in his gaze, despite the look of disgust lighting up his face.

“Actually, I was thinking we would go this weekend. But, knowing you lot, you’d eat everything she’s ever made and ask for more. So, Yoongi, I was wondering if you’d come with me on Friday to prepare everything for Saturday.” Jin speaks again, moving himself and Yoongi away from the commotion that was slowly gaining traction among the younger members.

“Of course Hyung. Honestly, I’ve been missing YN, in a weird way. She was so amazingly sweet to me when I was hurt. She really did save my life, at the end of the day. I’m glad that you agree with my original assessment.” Yoongi speaks in that low tone he tends to use when he really means what he’s talking about, and Jin just smiles at him.

“I can understand why. YN’s first thought after assessing us to not be psycho-rapist-murders, was to invite us in to eat. It seems like a theme with her, to see us and want to make sure we are eating properly.” Jin chuckles as Yoongi smiles in appreciation, thankful that Jin didn’t take the opportunity to make fun of him.

The rest of the week is spent with Jin and Yoongi brainstorming what to make. They knew that they would have to take quite the car trip in order to get to YN’s with all the groceries that they would need in order to make enough to feed all seven of the wolves, plus YN. With their higher body temperature came a faster metabolism, which meant, as a result, that they ate a ton as a group.

Once they did finally settle on something that was filling, not super complicated to make, and easy to store, the pair gathered everything they needed, ready and waiting for Friday.

Friday morning rolled around, and Yoongi was strangely nervous. He was thankful to Jin for giving him the opportunity to spend a little bit of time with YN in a more personal setting, where he could show off his cooking skills and where his more reserved personality wouldn’t be completely overshone by the boisterous boys he called his pack. At the same time, there was a voice in the back of his head telling him that she was going to hate everything about him, that whatever connection he felt to her when he was healing was completely one sided and because of his wolf form, not because of him in any way.

As the pair packed up the car, Jin noticed just how distracted Yoongi seemed, but decided not to ask him about it until they were safely in the car, away from prying ears.

Namely, the ears of Jimin and Taehyung, ever the troublesome twins, who were currently trying to figure out a way to stow away in the back without Jin or Yoongi finding them out. Clearly, that was doomed to fail, seeing as Yoongi stood and watched as they made their plan, shaking his head at the antics, getting ready to scold them, despite the smile on his face.

“Boys, please. Go back inside. YN will be ready and willing to see you tomorrow, don’t worry.” Jin brushes past Yoongi as he takes both boys by the collar, dragging them out of the back of the vehicle and shooing them away, despite their chorus of cries in protest.

Yoongi shakes himself out of his reprieve, sliding into the passenger's seat without a second thought.

He almost jumps out of his skin when Jin opens the door, again trying to shake himself of the anxious spiral of self doubt that threatens to suck him into it’s incredibly rude clutches.

“Seatbelt.” Jin prompts softly, pointedly looking at the mirrors instead of his friend, making minor adjustments to them. Yoongi scoffs, knowing full well that a car crash wouldn’t really hurt either of them, but after a pointed look from Jin, he complies.

With a mumbling of thanks and the click of a seatbelt, the car falls into silence. It isn’t until Jin makes the suggestion that Yoongi turn on some music, maybe something he’d been working on, that Yoongi seems to fully break out of the aforementioned spiral.

“Hyung, this one you’ll like. I’ve been trying out this new style with…” Jin hums in appreciation as Yoongi starts rambling on about the technicalities of the music he had been working on recently, thankful to get the man talking again. As much as he didn’t like to admit it, Yoongi did better when he wasn’t thinking about himself, and instead had something else to focus on.

The rest of the car ride was spent with Yoongi showing off his music, Jin listening and asking questions when needed. Honestly, both of them loved this sort of calm, collected sharing of information. They are fishing partners for a reason, after all.

When the pair finally pull into YN’s driveway, they immediately pull around back so they can be closer to the kitchen with their things. YN is out in the garden, dutifully tending to the plants that her uncle loved so much. If they weren’t able to read her every thought, the boys would have assumed she didn’t even notice their vehicle pulling around her house, but they knew that she was acutely aware of the fact that they were there.

Absently, YN wipes her hands on the leggings she had thrown on, trying to get at least a bit of the dirt off of them before she went to see who had pulled into her driveway and what they needed.

She was just turning around to fully see what was going on, when she caught sight of Jin and broke out in a bright smile.

“Jin! You’re back so soon!” YN called, hurrying her way over to the vehicle as Jin walked leisurely around to the trunk. “And you brought someone, just like you said!” YN sighs, bright eyes looking up at Yoongi as she introduces herself properly.

Yoongi just smiled as he introduced himself as well, absently thinking of just how miniscule she really was, by their standards. Sure, she was maybe a little petitie for the average woman, but by their standards? She was like a child.

YN turns her attention to Jin, curious about what he’s getting out of the trunk, with Yoongi trailing behind her slightly. Out of habit, he is scanning her thoughts to make sure she’s not harboring any ill intent, careful not to get into the section of her thoughts about him or any of the pack.

“The boys want to meet you, but feeding all of us is more than a chore, so we are going to make sure you have plenty of food stocked up for us. And don’t try to protest, I’d feel bad if I let them eat you out of house and home.” Jin takes on a stern tone, and YN puts her hands up, the argument she had dying.

“When are you all going to be here? It’s not like I have plans, but I would like to actually be awake for the event.” YN lets out a little giggle that makes both Jin and Yoongi smile a little too largely.

“If you’re comfortable with it, tomorrow.” Jin has his arms full, and he walks over towards the back door, slightly annoyed that he has to pretend he’s not even a quarter of how strong he actually is by taking multiple trips.

“The boys are incredibly impatient, honestly.” Yoongi steps around YN and takes some of the groceries into his own arms, figuring he will be helpful too.

“That’ll be wonderful!” YN rocks on her feet slightly, clearly excited to meet new people and have friends in the way she hadn’t before. “Let me just text my mom and make sure she won’t call in the middle-” YN pats her pockets, frowning as she can’t find her phone.

Turning on her heel, with an adorable bounce in her step, she makes her way back over to the section of the garden she had been working on, figuring she must have dropped the phone somewhere.

YN takes about 15 steps before there’s a noise off in the direction of the woods that has all three people snapping their heads to look at it. YN doesn’t even have time to register what’s going on before a snowy figure slams into her with what feels like a wall of moving concrete.

Yoongi and Jin, completely stunned, watch as a wolf they recognize as being from a rival pack slam herself into YN’s tiny form, throwing her across the yard and into the wall of her home, before she clamps her teeth down on YN’s shoulder, attempting to drag her away.

Yoongi is the first to react, ripping his shirt off and tossing his shoes out of the way, transforming to the tune of YN’s screaming. He can feel the pain and terror rolling off of YN’s form in waves, he can smell the sweat and blood, he can hear the heart-wrenching screams tearing out of her throat.

Jin immediately drops whatever food he was holding, running after the white wolf that was attempting to take YN and the inky wolf he knew so well. Assessing the situation, Jin knew transforming wouldn’t help, so instead, he scoops up Yoongi’s discarded shirt and runs full speed after them.

He makes it into the woods just in time to see Yoongi’s black form slam into the white wolf, causing her to open her mouth just enough that YN slips away. He watches as another blood-curdling scream rips its way out of YN’s mouth as she lands on the ground, her ankle crunching and turning in an unnatural way as she tumbles head first to the ground, finally stopping the violent movement by slamming into a tree with enough force the breath is completely taken out of her.

As Yoongi distracts the white wolf, Jin runs and scoops YN up, doing his best to keep her as stable as possible. She’s bleeding profusely from the bites in her shoulder, her ankle is laying at a completely unnatural angle, she’s gasping and coughing up a bit of blood, her back and side are most likely deeply bruised, and he wouldn’t be surprised if she has a few cracked ribs.

Jin listens intently to the snarls and growls that YN can’t hear, recognizing the sounds of Yoongi winning. The white wolf is only a beta, and she’s small. Jin has complete confidence that Yoongi will be back soon, with more blood on his hands, and maybe only a couple scratches to show for it.

In the meantime, Jin quickly throws the couple groceries that were left in the back of the SUV out, laying YN down in the back and taking an actual look at her wounds for the first time. She’s almost hyperventilating, pain rolling off of her, blood leaking out of her and staining the floor of the car.

“YN, darling, I need you to calm down, okay?” Jin speaks for the first time as he quickly makes makeshift bandages out of Yoongi’s discarded shirt, wrapping up her shoulder as best he can.

YN just looks at Jin with wild eyes, breathing still coming in ragged gasps. Her throat was on fire, her mouth tasted like metal, her shoulder burned.

“I know it hurts darling, but I need you to calm down.” Jin reiterates, looking past her shoulder to the other wounds, able to finally focus on actually looking at YN and trying to calm her down more before he tried to do anything more.

“Look at me YN.” Jin brings a hand to the side of YN’s face, taking a strip of Yoongi’s shirt and wiping off the blood that had dribbled out of her mouth from her coughing fit. “You’re safe YN, it’s okay. We will always make sure you’re safe, don’t worry.”

YN tries to open her mouth, but she can’t make any words come out. She’s close to passing out, but Jin is keeping her awake. Everything is hazy, it feels like she’s crying but she can’t tell if it’s tears or blood dripping down her face.

Jin’s brow furrows as he hears sticks breaking in the woods, fully ready to transform and murder the white beta, even though he absolutely hated violence. He never would be able to put his finger on what made him so protective over YN, even right from the get go.

But, it was Yoongi who stumbled out of the woods, black fur soaked in blood. The wolf walked up to the back of the vehicle, looking up at Jin’s form, a snarl on his lips which let Jin see the flecks of red still staining them.

“I’m going to set your ankle YN. It’s going to hurt. Badly.” Jin captures YN’s attention, balling up a relatively clean piece of Yoongi’s shirt and stuffing it in her mouth so she doesn’t bite her tongue off.

“Yoongi, go get two sticks, as straight as you can find.” Jin orders, Yoongi immediately bounds off to the forest, emerging only a minute later with two sticks in his mouth.

In the minute it took Yoongi to get the sticks, Jin took off his own shirt, ripping it into makeshift bandages as well, keeping the pieces long. He takes the sticks from Yoongi and places them beside YN in the back of the vehicle, quickly taking off YN’s shoe and sock, ripping off the bottom portion of her legging so he can have the access he needs.

“This is going to hurt. You may pass out.” Jin sounds clinical as he lightly brushes the ankle in question, double checking exactly what he needs to do before he does it.

With one quick motion, Jin puts YN’s ankle back the way it’s supposed to be, another scream tearing out of YN that has Yoongi growling, pacing around behind Jin. It’s a delayed response, but YN does in fact pass out from the pain, her head lolling over to one side as Jin wraps the sticks on either side of YN’s ankle, making sure none of the bandaging is too tight.

“I have no idea what kind of damage is underneath, she may need surgery.” Jin turns and looks at Yoongi, who doesn’t do anything but growl. He doesn’t seem to like that idea.

“I don’t like it any more than you do Yoongs.” Jin walks quickly around the car, putting all the back seats down so there’s room for both YN and Yoongi in the back of the vehicle.

“I’ll take the emergency path in the woods, you watch her. If something happens or looks wrong, let me know immediately.” Jin watches as Yoongi hops into the car, carefully arranging himself so that YN has all the room she needs.

Once Yoongi is situated, Jin moves YN so she is propped up against Yoongi, knowing that he will be better able to monitor her in that close position. He closes all the doors, hops into the driver's seat, and sets off into the woods, going as fast as he dares to.

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everlastingfable · 3 years

Text

a jumbled mess of my thoughts about voltron

This’ll probably be the messiest post you’ll ever read. I’m done trying to finish this and edit it into something coherent, so I’m just combining the 3 drafts I have written out into one massive post. I doubt anyone will read this whole thing, but each draft is a sort of rewrite of the last, so there’s a lot of overlap. But there’s also a lot of new thoughts too as I kept thinking about this. There’s also a lot of unfinished thoughts.

There’s mostly negativity in this btw. This fandom had/has an amazing ability in making you think that this show was utter garbage. on par with riv//erdale or s//pn, but it really wasn’t. Like many shows they had weak points, it was never perfect, but it’s much better than we’re told to remember it as.

Intro from Draft 3 because I liked the way I started it:

This is all of my thoughts about Voltron, the show itself and the fandom. I have tried to write this post out for over a year or two now, so it was originally intended to be my final thoughts about the show. Obviously, it’s evolved since then into whatever this is. There may be some things that I’ll be wrong about, because I’m not about to dig through hundreds of discourse posts and old interview videos to prove a point that I doubt anyone’s gonna care about. This will 100% be based on my thoughts, opinions, and experiences.

That said, I don’t even know how to begin to describe how much I love this show. I’m probably one of the few people who have no regrets about enjoying this show as much as I do. I’d wholeheartedly recommend watching it, because it’s genuinely a good show. Voltron did the unimaginable for me. I don’t usually enjoy sci-fi stories. I especially don’t enjoy mecha stories. Yet somehow, Voltron combined the two and made a show that I loved so much I can’t stop thinking about it even though it ended over 2 years ago.

Draft 1: thoughts about a year after it ended without rewatching any seasons since it ended

It’s been about a year since voltron ended. I never wrote my thoughts about s8/the show then so here it is now. Because I decided to wait a year I honestly don’t remember a lot of specifics. But I still have a lot to say about it. This is very long and is basically everything I have to say about this show. I love voltron. It’s been an important part of my life during college. 90% of all papers I wrote were about voltron. But as much as I love it, I won’t deny that it fell apart at the end.

Note: I tried to categorize these thoughts so I don’t get off topic and can talk about everything fully. But because they overlap so much there’s definitely some minor repeats when I connect two parts but decided to hold off talking about it all the way until the right section.

PRODUCTION

This is something I’ve expressed concern over while it was airing, but in a span of 2 and a half years, they premiered 78 episodes. That’s a lot, especially when you consider that production for s3 started after s1 premiered. There’s a lot of really good voltron review videos out there that aren’t just “oh I’m so cool I hate voltron” but there was one that talked about how the production was a mess and the writers couldn’t make up their mind for the endgame ship. And while that doesn’t sound like an important issue, it really does show when it comes to how characters are written together and (I think) the fandom war.

Summarizing what that video said because I don’t remember who made it, the writers/producers never made up their mind on which ship was supposed to be endgame (klance, sheith, allurance, kallura). And this really does show in the show itself. I don’t like klance. I especially hate it because of my experience with the fandom, but I won’t deny that they were sometimes written romantically. The same goes for sheith. And that’s the problem.

I don’t think the world building parts of the show was fully developed either. Shiro was supposed to be a teen like everyone else but then he was an adult. His and keith’s relationship was honestly vague for a good while. I don’t think anyone really knew how each characters’ relationships with each other was supposed to progress. Was allurance always supposed to be endgame? Because they didn’t really interact that much until like season 6, and then it was kinda sudden from what I remember. There was very little, if at all, parts where we were shown oh allura might like lance romantically. Keith’s relationship with the main cast didn’t exist for like 3 seasons. It was messy.

Speaking of which, keith disappeared for a good portion of the show. I assume it’s because steven yeun was busy. Which is fine but then I think about how quickly voltron came and went, I wonder why they couldn’t slow down a bit so they could still have steven voice keith during those episodes. Maybe it’s because of how much I love keith, but he honestly felt like a central character to me.

If I think about teen titans, for example, this show also had 5 main characters. Sometimes certain characters would get a spotlight for a season, but all-in-all they were fairly equally represented. It didn’t feel like robin was the main character. But that’s how I feel about voltron. Keith, and shiro to an extent are the main characters. A good portion of the plot relies on them. Shiro got kidnapped, keith leads them to the blue lion. Shiro is the leader with keith has his right-hand man and they mostly interact with each other. So when shiro “dies” and keith takes over, it starts to feel like keith is now the main character. Now he’s the leader and the arc is about him growing into becoming the black paladin and stopping lotor, who is his main enemy. But then he disappears.

Again this is most likely because of my bias towards keith, but the episodes after that felt lackluster. Lance didn’t really get his character growth to become a good second-in-command. Because that development was supposed to be based around keith. :P. A big part of lance’s growth is to learn to stop needing to feel that he’s better than keith. And him accepting keith as the black paladin was a huge part of it. But with shiro as the leader again lance loses that development. Keith’s not in the picture anymore, and the person in-charge was already in a leadership position and has nothing to learn by being there.

Before I go way too deep into my thoughts about the plot/characterization, I do want to mention the animation. The fighting scenes are amazing and one of the most beautiful 2d animation I’ve seen. That is, when it is actually animated and not just the camera panning on a still image. Here’s where my biggest concern over the time comes in. 2 years is absolutely not enough time to animate that many episodes. I was genuinely worried for the animation company because it could not have been a good experience. And yes, we got more episodes sooner, the quality definitely dropped and it’s a real shame. Who knows when we’ll get another american cartoon in this style. I love this animation style but it takes time and a lot of skills to do, so not that many companies do it. I honestly wished they took their time with the show not just to get more time to animate, but also to flesh out some of the plot.

PLOT

As hunk said in one episode, they don’t linger on dramatic events that just happened. This show is very fast paced, and that’s not a bad thing. But they never took the time they needed to really feel the weight of everything that happens. Keith’s galra heritage reveal was basically swept under the rug. So was the shiro clone, lotor’s death, zarkon’s death, naxzela, and so many more. In general, that was a big problem with how the episodes went. If it wasn’t for the sheer number of fanfics covering those topics, they were really swept under the rug. It honestly kinda felt like the writers didn’t know what to do with the aftermath of their reveals. But some of these were pretty essential to the plot of the story.

Keith’s part galra! So he doesn’t look it but there had to be obstacles with voltron forming the coalition. He’s part of the race that caused this war. I honestly think we should’ve seen that reveal become part of the plot, or what was the point of it? They could’ve just as easily wrote keith to be a regular human just like everyone else. Taking the time to add that part of his character needs to have some significance in the story. And yeah, they had krolia appear but she wasn’t really a significant character except to kinda magically fix keith’s problems. In general it felt like they forgot parts that they were foreshadowing with keith. Why could he turn purple sometimes? Did that quintessence he was hit with fix him or help him hide the galra parts? Why does he look so human? What is up with him having that quintessence sensitivity? I’m all for shows ending with some questions unanswered because sometimes it’s impossible to answer it all and let it feel natural, but this just felt like they forgot or decided it’s too much of a hassle and just ignored it.

Okay going into more specifics now, s8 was kinda meh. It especially felt bad because it came out the same day as spiderverse which had a very similar villain motivation, but objectively done better. I think honerva’s motivation came out of nowhere. We see in the flashback episode that she was so intent on getting knowledge that it literally destroyed daibazaal. So, it was established that her motivation is knowledge. Even though she lost her memory and regained it, as haggar she was still very focused on quintessence. We know she was gathering a lot of it, and maybe they said it and I forgot, but we never knew why. Family wasn’t really shown as a motivation for her. Even with lotor it didn’t seem like she wanted to be a family again, but instead was using him for her own unknown motivations. Anyways, the season felt awkward. And the new dynamic they had really needed more time. The last season should’ve expanded to be at least 2 more. It would’ve fit a lot better imo. S1-2 would have zarkon as the main villain, s3-6 would have lotor, and s7-8 would have haggar, who was also the puppeteer throughout the entire show. But she didn’t appear for s7 and her motivations didn’t really make sense in s8 so it evidently felt rushed. There were also so many major characters in s8 we needed more time to see them interact.

So the ending with allura becoming constellations. Gonna be honest that whole last part had me confused. Especially with the fact that I barely remember what happened, why are the old paladins like trapped in the lions? I could excuse the other 4 but zarkon? Especially a zarkon that’s not corrupted? It was weird and didn’t make a whole lot of sense, and that’s all I’ll say about that. I don’t even want to try to suggest an alternative because I think that whole last half of the season is so messy it can’t be fixed. But it was so obviously pandering to the fandom it hurt. Lance getting those marks was so obviously referencing when people wanted lance to be altean in response to keith’s galra heritage. The shiro/curtis kiss was very “look see he is gay and not just because we said so” while nice, was very weak (why wasn’t keith in the shot?).

Despite my complaints, I remember liking s8. I really liked the addition of the atlas, even though it didn’t feel like we were watching voltron anymore sometimes. S7 had to be one of my favorite episodes since s2. Not to say that s7 is better or worse, but I really like it because it felt like a genre shift. I usually don’t like space sci-fi or mecha stories. Voltron somehow managed to combine the two and make me love it. S7 did not feel like either of those. First, a good half of it took place on earth. And I believe two episodes didn’t even have the main cast, and when team voltron finally made it to earth, voltron wasn’t even there until the final battle. I genuinely loved it. I think it was a very well done invasion/apocalyptic story that doesn’t get told in animation that often. But if I think about s7 with the rest of the show, it was awful. It broke up the tone the show usually had and it was a very different way of storytelling that voltron didn’t have before. It wasn’t a space sci-fi mecha story, it was an apocalyptic action story. Voltron was so unimportant they sat on a moon for episodes. It stopped becoming voltron and started becoming a spin-off.

I do have to add that I absolutely loved the color themes in s7. We already had purple for the galra, but in s7 it was very obvious that alteans are themed blue and earth is themed with orange. I loved it so much and it was great. I do like that they gave shiro something to do. Honestly not killing him off in s2 made him an awkward character afterwards. But I didn’t like that they brought back sendak. There was no explanation for it and it wasn’t good imo. He didn’t really do anything besides conquer earth then die. Haggar was also absent the entire season which definitely didn’t help her storyline in s8 because we didn’t know what she was doing the entire time except abandoning everyone who was loyal to her.

I’m usually not a fan of time skips, it has the tendency to gloss over character development or create glossed over recap. Honestly I wish voltron spent more time over the blade of marmora massacre or just the bom in general. They received no rest. Literally everyone part of that group died except for kolivan. Speaking of that episode, there was no explanation for how keith was able to know where macidus was about to appear and that honestly bugs me. There’s so much about keith we don’t know. He has so many abilities we were just never told.

Again a lot of problems within team voltron is that there was never any follow up on things that happened, like keith leaving the team. He becomes the black paladin and no one bats an eye. Lance did make one comment about keith leaving but then it wasn’t ever mentioned again. I get that the writers/producers wanted the dynamic the original had, but they didn’t take the time to work up to it. Keith wasn’t a natural leader, but he suddenly is because he spent 2 years on a space whale with his mom and a space wolf. Like I mentioned earlier, voltron feels like keith is the main character but then they dropped him for a few episodes, realized that he’s important and added him back in while saying “oh he went through a time skip so he grew into the role he needs to be in now”. It feels like a cheap pay off.

I’d like to specifically talk about my thoughts on each season and work back but honestly I don’t think I can remember s3-6 separately. So they’re being chunked together.

Lotor had the potential to be a really great villain. But he had to be foiled with keith. They have a lot of similarities that I think could’ve really played off well together. Lotor isn’t really allowed to have a leadership position. Yeah he was technically in charge while zarkon was recovering, but haggar didn’t really allow him full control. But, he was a great leader. He knew how to read his enemies and form an alliance. Meanwhile, keith had a leadership position thrusted to him, and frankly he wasn’t a good leader. He tends to keep to himself so he never really has to make decisions with a team. It could’ve been great, but shiro had to still be in the story. I’m honestly conflicted about this because on the one hand, I think it really ruined character developments for the main cast, but then I loved the clone shiro plot line. I think keeping shiro prevented keith from growing. He was able to remain dependent on shiro instead of actually bonding with the rest of the paladins. And of course he had to just go awol. Also, lance didn’t really get to have as prominent of a role as I think he could’ve had with keith.

These seasons are also when the lions stopped being sentient robots that specifically choose their paladins to just really cool spaceships. We don’t get that level of bonding that was so prominent in s1 and 2. That’s also something I’m conflicted with. I think the lion swap was a great way for character developments, but it also removed a lot of it. It kinda made the bonding feel useless. The swap also changed the dynamic of the group. Instead of shiro and allura being co-leaders, and everyone else feeling like they’re on equal footing, it felt like Keith was the leader with lance being a needed right-hand man. Hunk and pidge were off doing their thing and allura was a leader but also not. Maybe if they had spent more time working with this dynamic it would’ve felt better. But they didn’t and it didn’t. Voltron also implied that allura was the only one that could control the castle ship, but then she goes to become a paladin and who’s driving the ship?

I do wish we could’ve gotten more about the altean colony and the reveal about lotor’s plans, but that got overshadowed and forgotten by the clone shiro reveal. Maybe I just missed it, but I wasn’t sure what the galra empire and lotor were collecting quintessence for. Was it just to make mechs to rival voltron? Lotor’s death was also very unclear.

The coalition was a much needed thing, but I think very badly executed. They were gathering people from malls. These people are regular civilians who probably don’t know how to fight or fly a ship. I thought it was really weird that they were just getting regular people (aliens?) to sign up like they’re applying to be part of the army. But we never see them maybe join the rebel force matt is part of to learn how exactly to help. I think about avatar and how they also had a rag tag group of people to fight against the fire nation, but these weren’t just regular people living in a village. They were either warriors or very skilled benders. The voltron coalition was just regular people. That genuinely annoyed me because the voltron show just felt like those army propaganda ads, but exciting. Not to mention it was a very hard to watch episode.

It was definitely making fun of how the fandom complains about how characters are getting reduced to a certain characteristic. But it wasn’t done in an entertaining way like the ember island players episode from atla because some of those were legit complaints (like hunk being the fat/food guy) and that stuff wasn’t resolved. Like the ember island players made fun of sokka constantly talking about meat or katara crying all the time, but the show made it very clear beforehand that these characters are much more than that. Is hunk really more than the food guy? As far as the show mentions, the only things he’s done was make the machine to help find the blue lion, and help save the balmera. All of which was in season 1. After that hunk honestly took the backseat in voltron.

I mentioned earlier, but the time skip on the space whale felt like we were cheated out of keith’s character development. I mean we got development, but we didn’t get to see it. The vlog short showed that keith believes a lot of his problems stems from not having a mom (and a dad) in his life. But instead of seeing keith learning to trust and open up to people despite having so many people in his life leaving him, we get a cute montage of him with his mom. As if it makes sense that two years with his mom would fix everything. (side note, I know a lot of people were saying how obvious it was that krolia was keith’s mom, I genuinely did not know until she said so at the end of that episode).

I’m not gonna talk about my thoughts on s1 and 2 because I’m pretty sure I live blogged those and honestly I don’t think I remember it.

CHARACTERS

Now I’m finally talking about the characters and I’m starting off with keith as if I haven’t talked about him enough already. I love keith. He’s undeniably one of my (if not the) favorite characters ever. And he’s obviously a fandom favorite if we’re considering the two biggest ships in the fandom. Or maybe he really is just the secret main character of voltron. We know so much about him, for someone who loves keith, it’s great. We basically know his entire backstory, and yet we know no one else’s (except maybe lotor but even that’s iffy).

I never rewatched a single voltron episode since it ended, and I can’t watch any of the connected shows (meaning shows that have the same ppl that worked on it or the same fans, think dragon prince and she-ra) because the fandom was the absolute worst one I’ve ever been in and parts legit trigger me. I am fascinated with fandoms. I love it. I chose my major because it was the closest I could get to just learning about them 24/7. But the voltron fandom was so incredibly toxic and over two ships? Honestly the fandom itself was a major reason why I couldn’t get super invested in the later seasons. I get afraid when it seems like a certain ship might happen. I actually hoped that certain characters just didn’t interact. (I’m not gonna get much deeper in this because I don’t want to touch this topic with a ten-foot pole, at least not now) Aside from that, I think that the plot and characterizations for voltron got really messy post s2. The lion switch was never handled well imo, and post switch the lions lost that sentient personality that was established in the first two seasons. It also didn’t make sense aside from the writers wanted everyone in the original lions. Or at least, we never got the proper character developments into those roles. Keith left right after becoming the black paladin.

I think another major problem with the show is how some decisions felt like pandering. I remember hearing that they didn’t kill off shiro because he was a fan favorite, so he had to stay for marketing and to make more money. But then keeping shiro alive would’ve derailed the original plot idea. I wish I could see how the story would’ve played out with shiro staying dead.

Draft 2: rewatched the show then started writing this

So I wrote a draft of this like a year ago, realized I don’t remember the show much, so I rewatched the whole show and started rewriting my thoughts.

Pre-rewatch thoughts: It was a good show that was poorly executed

Mid-rewatch thoughts: it’s a really good show that just has some weak points (the second half of lotor’s arc, team voltron’s importance in season 4-6 it feels like a lot of filler episodes until keith shows up again)

End-rewatch thoughts: it's actually a really good show. It has some weak points and some really strong points. Season 8 was confusing though. I went through most of it going yeah okay I guess that can happen.

Final verdict: it's a genuinely good show

What went wrong

It ended on its weakest season, which was also the most abstract and different season. While the main antagonist changed throughout the seasons, it still continued to be the galra empire. Even when lotor joined, the team was still fighting fractions of the galra empire. Meanwhile, season 8 didn’t have any conflict with the galra. The antagonists were honerva and the alteans, who are very different types of villains compared to the galra. There was also little build up to that change. Sure, we got to experience that briefly in season 3 when they went to the alternate reality, but I don’t think that was built up well. Also, the protagonists and the audience are just not prepared. We don’t know how the alteans work like the extent of their abilities, but we were given dozens of episodes to learn about the galra. As a result season 8 just wound up with me feeling confused and thinking “uhh sure I guess they can do that, that makes sense maybe?”

It could not pick who its protagonist is. Yeah the five humans plus allura (and coran?) are the main characters but most shows with multiple major characters still focus one one character as the protagonist. Like atla has aang, adventure time has finn, umbrella academy has five. Voltron just never picks someone and the group constantly changes too, so you end up having to not focus on any character for the sake of time. Of course not all shows do that. Teen Titans had each season focus on a particular member of the team, and tbh I was wondering if that was what they were planning for the show, especially when season 2 was so Keith focused but guess not.

It feels like they did not have the time to fully flesh out the story. Voltron came and went so incredibly fast. They had 8 seasons (technically 6 if you group up the halved seasons). But also the show only lasted 2 years. It honestly horrifies me to think of the time crunch everyone on the team was going through, especially the animators. You can see the drop in quality as there were very few scenes that involved actual animation for the middle bulk of the show. So then, how much time did they have to develop the story, in addition to execs telling them what they can and can’t do. There’s so many arcs that seemed to start then get forgotten, and I don’t blame the writers for that at all. Although I wish we could’ve learned more about Lance and the Altean sword and Keith with his apparent quintessence sensitivity, they probably just didn’t have the time to plot those out.

It had too much outside influence. Such as, the writers wanting to kill off shiro, but then being forced to keep him on the show because the execs said to. And honestly, the fandom. For example, the whole last episode with Lance getting the Altean marks (an obvious omage to ppl wanting Altean Lance).

What went right

There’s a reason why the show became so popular (aside from being a reboot of a popular 80′s show) and it’s because of the characters. I’m not about the whole “we become attached to characters because the writers did them wrong but we fans can see the potential and that’s why fan works are better” bs that I see going around this site all the time. The first season particularly wrote these characters so well. They’re relatable but also intriguing enough for you to care about what’s going to happen to them.

Some thoughts regarding popular fandom discussions:

It’s a plot-driven show with character-focused fans

I like to think of there being two ways to tell a story: by being character-focused or plot-driven. Plot driven shows are ones like atla, young justice, legend of korra, etc. There’s a conflict that gets introduced and the story revolves around that conflict. Character-focused shows are ones like adventure time or we bare bears, they’re less concerned about a plot line and focus more on the characters interacting with their world. Of course all stories incorporate both parts, just some focus more on one than the other. So, here’s where I think a lot of the issues about voltron and the fandom comes from. Voltron is a very obviously plot-driven show but the fandom is very character-focused. I won’t deny I loved the episodes about keith. Season 4 and 5 were hard for me to watch because I missed my boy. But that’s where the arguments come from. People get upset that their fav isn’t in the spotlight

It didn’t queerbait

I understand watching a show for representation, I really do, but voltron is not that show and that's okay. Not every show has to be revolutionary in its representation of marginalized people. I won't pretend to know the harmful tropes for marginalized people. My consumption of media is not usually diverse. But I will stand by my stance that a large part of voltron's later seasons is about the casualties of war. So of course a lot of people died. I also firmly believe that the producers had a much easier time adding diversity to their own created characters than the main voltron characters, because of rights and all that complicated nonsense. So as a result the ones who were more expendable and could die were also the same characters that they could add diversity too.

I’m gonna add the definition of queerbait here so we’re all on the same page: Queerbait is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation.

But here’s the thing. We were told at comic-con or one of those cons that Shiro is gay, and he had a boyfriend. They actually gave us that. Yeah it wasn’t as explicit as She-ra got, but that’s another point for later. There was no lying about it. Shiro is canonically gay, and his boyfriend was Adam. If anything, this whole thing came out of wanting Keith in a relationship with Shiro or Lance. Yes. I will admit, there are plenty of scenes between Keith and Lance, and Keith and Shiro that can be read as romantic. Someone correct me if I’m wrong but did any of the cast members tease the possibility of Kl//ance or Sh//eith (VAs don’t count, sorry but they don’t really have a say in the story)? Because unless they did, and they did repeatedly, the fandom queerbaited themselves. So many people in the fandom were so certain that Keith would be in a relationship with one of them, there was basically an all out war. Even if there was a chance, did you really think the creators (who were pretty active in early fandom days) would continue that development? It was so so toxic they were forced to shut off any possibilities of that.

In regards to minority characters

Again, I'll admit vld is not the place to go for real, proper representation. Their characters tend to be characters that happen to be a part of a minority rather than a minority character. wtf does that mean? Well, you can swap (earth) races for just about any character and it wouldn't make too much of a difference in how they act. There's some lines that wouldn't work like Lance's "I'm just a boy from Cuba" but other than that there would be no significant change. Of course this goes down to preference. Would you want a minority character whose struggles reflect those in real life and as a result be defined by that aspect of themselves, or do you want a character that just happens to be a part of a minority group but whose life is not really affected by that?

Draft 3: months after the rewatch, mostly an attempt to reorganize the previous two drafts

I’m gonna start with the negatives just to get the ranting off my chest. Season 8 was bad. Yeah. No argument there. Although I wouldn’t say it was bad in the same way Game of Thrones and Supernatural was bad. Rather, it was an interesting and complex premise that didn’t have the build up it needed and honestly needed a few more passthroughs to iron out some parts. At worse, I felt it was confusing to the point where I just accepted whatever new worldbuilding thing they threw at me. The issue with Season 8 vs Seasons 1-7 is that Season 8 had a completely different villain, and a brand new cast dynamic. We got 7 seasons (65 episodes) developing the Galra as the villain. We got to learn who they are, their motives, how they operate, etc. Not only that, but they were pretty basic and easy to understand villains. They’re conquerors. They don’t have any sort of magic, they really just use brute force to attack and enslave the planets. In striking contrast, the Alteans in Season 8 weren’t conquerors. They didn’t care about controlling the universe. They also had magic abilities that our main characters don’t understand and didn’t explore. Season 8 had villains who could create illusions, mind control, and manipulate quintessence. The Alteans are leagues beyond the Galra in terms of complexities as an antagonist, but they didn’t get nearly enough time to be fully developed.

Also, Season 8 essentially doubled the cast size. So despite the fact that we have yet to see much of Keith-as-the-black-paladin Voltron group dynamic, now that screentime is being balanced with the MFE pilots and other Garrison characters. Essentially, there were too many characters, and too little time to flesh out the ideas of this season. A side note, Haggar’s (Honerva?) motivations were lame. I think it would’ve been much more interesting if her plans were just to continue the research she did 10,000 years ago with the rift. That would’ve also brought back the rift monsters which we never got an answer for. What even are they? Instead, her goal to have a family again is really weak. Even in the flashbacks she never showed any care for the more familial aspects of her life. It didn’t make sense for that to be her drive. It also didn’t help that Season 8 came out on like the same day as Spiderverse and the antagonists for both had the same goal, but Spiderverse did an immensely better job.

Another thing that didn’t make sense to me was Keith giving the speech to the rest of the Galra. He is not the right character to give that speech. Sure he’s Galra, but he didn’t even know for most of his life. For him to say “we” like he’s also a citizen of the Galra empire feels so weird. He never grew up with the Empire’s influence, and we never saw him experiencing Galra culture with the Blade. He learned about the Galra as an outsider, and despite the fact that he’s part Galra (he doesn’t even remotely look Galra), I don’t think that gives him the authority to say a speech like that. The speech is similar to Zuko’s at the end of ATLA, and that makes me feel like it would’ve been a lot better had Lotor said it. I think even Kolivan would’ve been a better fit than Keith.

The more I’m writing about Season 8, the more I’m remembering just how messy and confusing it was. Additionally, the last bit of Season 8 was so obviously pandering to the fandom it gives me second-hand embarrassment. Lance getting those marks was so obviously referencing when people wanted Lance to be Altean in response to Keith's galra heritage. The Shiro getting married was just to make it more obvious that he’s gay, but had no build up. (There were definitely more but I didn’t write myself a list and I’m not rewatching that season)

Second, “Voltron queerbaited”. [this was posted before here]

Speaking of which, Voltron premiered summer of 2016 and ended in winter of 2018. That’s about 2 and a half years where they aired 78 episodes. That’s stupid fast, especially for an animated series. I’m constantly worried about what the people working on that show had to endure. For sure, Season 3 with Shiro coming back wasn’t written until at least Season 1. I recalled the execs demanding that Shiro not be dead since he was a popular character. It’s honestly concerning how little time they had to work on the show, and it unfortunately showed. In the later seasons, a lot of the shots were just still frames that moved across the scene. And the plot line with Lotor could’ve used some work. Although, I think Shiro being forced in there was also a reason for it being so shaky.

I honestly hate Seasons 4 & 5. I cannot tell you what happened because my brain keeps erasing it. Obviously, the lack of Keith had a huge impact on my opinion of those seasons, but it also felt like a whole lot of filler episodes, and not the fun ones with character development. With Keith mostly out of the picture, and Lance becoming the right hand of Voltron, that should’ve been a great time to develop Lance to become a second-in-command. To have him go through an arc where he overcomes his insecurities. It would’ve also been an amazing time to develop his and Shiro’s relationship. But we didn’t get any of that.

I genuinely believe Keith was supposed to stay the black paladin and Shiro wasn’t supposed to come back. Keith would be an amazing foil to Lotor. They’re both half-Galra. They’ve both been given a new leadership role that they don’t want. The middle arc always felt so weak to me, and as I mentioned earlier, the Allura/Lotor interactions were awkward. It feels shoehorned in because someone has to interact with Lotor and I guess the writers decided Allura was the best option?

Season 3-6 felt like the epitome of what happens when showrunners are forced to do whatever the execs say and have no time to properly develop their story. I’ll forever be bitter at all the character and relationship development we lost because of that. We never got to see Keith really learn to open up to the team and start to trust others. But Keith still had to get to that point, which is why I assume they had the time jump for him. It’s so disappointing because we lost what could’ve been a great character development. It also made Keith being the Black Paladin again feel cheap. We didn’t get to see the struggle he had to be the leader Shiro saw he could be. He was just suddenly leading them and they worked like a proper team.

Voltron also had a lot of plot holes. Now, I don’t expect shows to answer every question, because it’s impossible to tie everything up and leave no questions unanswered in a natural way. But, there’s a lot of things that felt like the beginning of a plot line or honestly needed some answers. Like, Lance shifting his bayard to a sword. What was the point of that if it was never mentioned again? It felt like that was an important start to an arc for him that just got forgotten. Also, what was up with Keith’s quintessence sensitivity? How was he able to sense where that druid was. How did he know he could summon his bayard to him. I think the part that bugged me the most was that Keith was the only one who did that. Also, Keith’s eyes becoming slitted during his fight with Kuron was never addressed, and I really wish it was. It felt like such a throwaway moment that could’ve been interesting to explore more. Although I’m not too upset with that one as I think we were given enough to piece together a reason for it.

#have fun with this monstrosity of a post #over 7k words #personal #my thoughts about #frxstguardian #kingofthewilderwest #honestly the only two people this post was intended for #I give up!!

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the-hidden-writer · 3 years

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I’ll Remember You This Way

Chapter 3: 2,689 Read on AO3! (check reblog for link)

The story of one unsuspecting man named Edwin Jarvis and how his life and legacy are carried throughout the universe.

Edwin Jarvis -> JARVIS -> Vision

Snippets of that legacy include Tony Stark carrying his butler’s words in his heart for his entire life and Wanda Maximoff sensing an unfamiliar presence in Vision’s mind.

Chapter 3: it’s a beautiful new day

Edwin hates hospital waiting rooms.

He has a huge respect for the hospitals themselves, of course. It’s the actual experience of sitting in the waiting room that sends a chill down his spine.

It’s not the first time he’s been in this position; stuck in a chair with worry crushing him. Although Mr Stark prefers to call his private doctor when he falls ill, and Edwin also occasionally uses his services, Ana much prefers to physically visit the doctor. She says that it makes her feel like they’re an ordinary couple in the life they don’t have. And Edwin respects her decision.

What he doesn’t tell her is that each time he is asked to wait outside, he is transported back to that horrifying night in 1947. His whole body is shaking. The world around him is all too loud but also alarmingly quiet. His mind is completely overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. Ana is in surgery with a terrible wound, possibly on the brink of death, and he is just sitting outside in the hospital waiting room, utterly helpless. The only thing on his mind is that it’s all his fault.

Then Miss Carter is by his side, offering much-needed wordless support.

But this early morning, he is desperately trying to convince himself that Ana is perfectly fine. She has simply gone inside the room to offer support to Mrs Stark. He can hear her unusually loud voice trying to overpower Maria’s agonised screams as she calls out for Howard, despite him being on the other side of the world.

It pains him to think that this is typical of him.

“Mr Jarvis!”

The familiar click of heels alerts him to Ms Carter’s arrival. She, like all of them, looks appropriately dishevelled as she rushes towards him. “How is she? How’s it going?”

Extremely grateful to her for pulling him out of his dark thoughts in a waiting room for a second time, Edwin gestures for her to take the seat beside him. There is a sense of déjà vu.

He takes a moment to listen out for Maria’s screams, which seem to have subsided.

“I believe it’s going well.” He responds. “Ana’s inside with her now, and this is the first time it’s been quiet since we arrived. I can only think of two options as to what that could mean.”

Ms Carter lets out a strained chuckle. “Since when have you been such a pessimist, Mr Jarvis?”

Since Ana was shot and lost the ability to bear children.

She seems to read his mind and her face falls quite suddenly. She is wise to not address this though, and she decides to change the subject instead.

“Have they thought of any names yet?”

Another welcome distraction. “Maria’s quite insistent on either Antonio or Isabella, depending on the gender. They got into an argument when Mr Stark wanted the name to be American.”

“Where is Howard, anyway?”

Edwin isn’t quite sure why his chest tightens. It almost feels like anger or hatred, but not quite. More like… disappointment. “He’s currently in Amsterdam trying to settle a trade deal.”

The expression on Peggy’s face perfectly reflects his own thoughts on the matter. She scoffs. “Oh, typical Howard.”

There is a strange kindred spirit shared between himself and Ms Carter, which is odd considering that their personalities could not be more different. She is everything he isn’t; strong-willed, professional, courageous, and incredibly intelligent. She could stop a global threat in the time that it takes him to plan a dinner party. She would much rather spend an evening engaging herself decoding classified secrets whereas he would watch some television with his wife.

And yet, despite their obvious differences, they completely understood one another. Peggy often needs a break from S.H.I.E.L.D. and her busy lifestyle, which is why the Jarvis household is open to her at all times should she need it. It’s also why she comes for dinner each Sunday evening without fail. And if he is ever feeling under the weather or is having any manner of internal struggle, she picks up on it just as quickly as Ana does and checks in on him an embarrassingly large number of times until she’s convinced that he’s feeling better. Ana once described the pair as two sides of the same coin.

Edwin feels blessed to have possibly the two best women in the entire world in his life.

He is suddenly pulled out of his thoughts by Ana rushing out of Maria’s room.

Both he and Ms Carter immediately stand up. “Is she alright?” They ask simultaneously.

Ana’s hair has come loose and her eyes betray her weariness, but they are also filled with joy. “She’s fine.” She announces with a wide smile. “It’s a beautiful baby boy.”

Peggy exhales loudly with relief, and she begins to mirror Ana’s smile. “Oh, that’s wonderful! May we go inside?”

Ana falters for a brief moment. “Ah, I will have to ask Mrs Stark. I did not know you were coming, so I will ask her.” She turns to her husband. “She is asking for you, Edwin, so you can come.”

There is silence until Peggy turns to him. “Mr Jarvis?”

Edwin is frozen. It feels as if the world has stopped spinning. Mrs Stark has just had a son. A boy. A son. A child. And she is fine, and he is fine, and she’s just had a son. A brand new life.

Ana grabs his arm and starts to pull him towards the door, and only then does he snap back to reality and feels himself breathe again. As they wait for the pack of nurses to finish leaving the room, Edwin bends down to whisper into his wife’s ear the one word that has suddenly branded itself into his mind.

“Anthony.”

When they are finally let into the room, his whole body melts. All the exhaustion, anger, and sadness from last night is washed away at the sight of the little bundle in Maria’s arms. Ana senses his awe and entwines her hand with his as she leads him closer to the bed.

“How are you feeling?” He breathes.

Maria is almost unrecognisable in this state. Her hair is the messiest he’s ever seen, and she is drenched in sweat. In any other circumstance she would be furious and desperately attempt to fix herself up. But right now, she has the warmest smile on her face.

“Tired, Mr Jarvis.” She answers, her voice slurred with exhaustion and her Italian accent shining through.

She looks down at the baby in her arms, and his own eyes follow. There is a tiny mop of dark hair visible over the blanket, but he can’t see much else very clearly.

Maria seems to notice his gaze. “Do you want to hold him?”

Yes, he does want to hold him. He wants to hold him and cradle him in his arms and talk to him and cuddle him and raise him.

But he can’t seem to get the words out. Ana answers for him. “Yes, he does.”

The second that Maria hands him the child, Edwin feels warmth rush into his body. The child is awake but not crying, and he knows he will do everything in his power to keep it that way. Distantly, he hears Ana ask Maria if Ms Carter can enter, before she also instructs her to sleep. He is too busy gently rocking the child to hear the precise words spoken.

“Hello there,” he whispers, a tear rolling down his cheek, “welcome to the world, little one. You are going to grow up and be strong, smart, kind, beautiful…”

His list goes on, and he is unaware of how sadly both Ana and Peggy are looking at him.

~-.-~

Mr Stark leaps out of the car before Edwin finishes parking.

He can’t blame him. He is about to meet his son for the first time, albeit a day late, so of course he’d be in a hurry.

Edwin locks the car and rushes to follow Howard.

On the journey from the airport, Mr Stark had done nothing but chatter about this that and the other. Anecdotes from his trip, celebrity scandals, new groundbreaking ideas. He managed to talk about every topic apart from his wife and son.

An outsider may think that he was being heartless, but Edwin knows Howard well enough to know that the genius was beyond nervous and his family was actually the only thing on his mind.

Once he nears Maria’s room, he can hear the sound of raised voices coming from inside. His heart sinks. He had been positive that Mr Stark would be happy upon seeing his son but, although he cannot hear the exact words being said, it sounds like something has upset him.

Bracing himself for the worst, he lightly knocks before entering.

“I promise you Howard, that’s what I said- Edwin!”

“Edwin!”

Edwin is not at all frightened by the way both Howard and Maria’s heads instantly snap towards him as they call him by his first name. Not in the slightest. It is perfectly reasonable for them to do so and is not unusual at all.

He recovers from this initial shock to note that little baby Anthony is in his father’s arms. This immediately fills him with relief as whatever the couple were arguing about didn’t seem to involve the newborn.

With that option eliminated, his curiosity begins to grow. “Is everything alright?” He asks.

Maria sinks further into her pillow and Howard hangs his head, bringing Anthony closer to his chest. It is a concerning visual, even more concerning when Mrs Stark looks back to her husband, ignoring his question entirely.

“And you’re sure it’s too late?”

Wearily raising his head, Howard answers. “I did most of the paperwork over there. The announcement’s been made- it’s too late.”

“Too late for what?” Edwin inquires, dread pooling into his stomach. He sincerely hopes that whatever the situation is isn’t too bad.

The pair turn to acknowledge him for the first time since their initial outburst. Both of their faces seem… guilty?

Howard shuffles towards him, being very mindful of the baby in his arms. “So you know Anthony’s name, right?”

Edwin nods nervously.

“Well, there’s been a mix up.” Howard continues, his face sheepish.

“An accident.” Maria interjects. “I was exhausted, my accent was thicker than normal, and they misheard me.”

This only makes Edwin all the more worried.

Without warning, Anthony begins to wail, and Edwin instinctively holds his arms out for Mr Stark to pass the child to him. He starts to cradle him to shush him.

Howard rubs a hand over his face and takes a deep breath. “Anthony Edward Stark was supposed to be Anthony Edwin Stark.”

And if human nature hadn’t prevented him from doing so, Edwin would have dropped the baby.

He must have heard incorrectly. “P-Pardon?”

It is Maria who answers him, her expression apologetic. “We discussed this a while ago. Because we know that you and your wife can’t… have children,” Edwin bites his lip to try and prevent the tears from forming in his eyes, “and you both have been nothing but kind to us, we wanted to name our child after you. His middle name was supposed to be Edwin if he was a boy, and Ana if he was a girl.”

“But I fucked that up, too.” Mr Stark adds, but Maria just tuts at him.

“Language, Howard. We have a son now. The nurse misheard, and there is nothing we can do about it now.”

“‘Course, sorry.” Howard apologises. Then he lets out a small, pathetic laugh and a wide smile begins to grow on his face. He takes Anthony from Edwin’s arms and stares at him with an amount of adoration that is uncharacteristic for the great Howard Stark.

The same Howard Stark whose bottom lip began to tremble. Whose eyes begin to shimmer with tears. Who struggles to keep his voice even as he leans down to plant a tender kiss on his son’s forehead.

“You...” he whispers, “are hands down the best thing I have ever created, little man. You’re beautiful. God, I love you.” He turns to Edwin again, pride radiating off his face as he holds the child in front of him. “Look at my son, Jarvis! Look at him! I have a son!”

Edwin, who has been trembling all this time, matches the adoration on his employer’s face as he nods in response to the command. His mind, however, is elsewhere.

They were going to name him Edwin. The Edward mishap does not bother him in the slightest as it is the thought that counts but… they were going to name their son Edwin.

And standing there, even in front of Anthony Edward Stark’s parents, Edwin feels like a father.

~-.-~

“Shush now Anthony, your Mama will be here soon once she’s finished her very important meeting, alright? Please, shush now.”

Anthony has been wailing for the past ten minutes. And, for the past nine minutes, Edwin has been trying to calm him down. The only problem is that the only thing that will currently soothe him is Edwin’s own tie, which he very much needs and is not willing to part with. Ana made him that one.

“Awamaaaaa! Mamaaaaa!”

The ten-month old pulls himself up so that he is just-about standing in his crib with one chubby arm sticking out, trying to reach him. He has just learnt to stand, and although it makes him happy each time he accomplishes it, the fact that he has started to stand in defiance is the bane of Edwin’s existence.

With a weary sigh, he turns back from where he was about to leave and slowly crouches down so that his eyes level with Anthony’s.

“Anthony darling, your Mama will be here soon.”

“Awamamaa!”

‘Mama’ is Anthony’s first and only word, one that he’s learnt only recently. One of the maids had first heard the little boy chanting it, and had hurried to get Edwin. Edwin then commanded her to go and fetch Maria and Howard. Maria had come rushing in, but Howard had claimed to be busy.

His heart shattering at the sound of the boy’s cries, Edwin tries again. “I promise Mama’s coming.”

Anthony’s screams take on a sudden increase in volume that causes Edwin to wince.

“Waaaaaaaaah! Awamamaja! Awajaja!”

Now Edwin is by no means a young man anymore, and he convinces himself that whatever he thought he just heard was simply a trick of his imagination. Nothing more. He definitely did not just try and call out his-

“Jaja! Jaja!”

Paired with the wide brown eyes staring up at him and the arm outstretched trying to grab his tie, this time the child’s intent was unmistakable.

In his shock, Edwin says the only thing he can think of. “S-Say that again?”

“Jaja!”

“Are you trying to say… ‘Jarvis’?”

“Jaja!”

“Oh my goodness!”

Although the ‘J’ syllable wasn’t quite as clipped as it should be (sounding more like a ‘sh’) it was recognisable enough. And to say Edwin feels emotional at the fact that Anthony said his name would be an understatement.

In this time Anthony had stopped crying and instead is looking at him expectantly, as if he knew exactly what effect his words would have on him and is waiting for his reward. Edwin takes off his tie and hands it to the boy without a second thought.

He has to tell Ana. There is no time to lose. He has to bring Ana and try and get Anthony to say it again as proof that his second 'word' was a variation of 'Jarvis'.

(He feels like he shouldn’t tell Maria, and especially not Howard. ‘Dada’ is supposed to come after ‘Mama’, not the name of the family butler. This moment would be his and Ana’s private treasure- something he would confide in Anthony when the boy grew up.)

(If the boy still liked him by that time, of course.)

(Edwin hopes he will.)

#marvel #mcu #agent carter #the avengers #edwin jarvis #peggy carter #tony stark #ana jarvis #howard stark #maria stark #i'll remember you this way #fic

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fmdjoosungarchive · 3 years

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restructuring task 1

+5 tracker points

1. assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background.

wc: 365

idk if i’ve said this on dash yet, but i’m treating new famed more or less like an au. in sung’s au, the defining change is that he was let go from gold star when he had his injury as a trainee. it was always my headcanon that they truly were close to cutting him loose anyway, so this is just the other side of that. he had his injury, got plastic surgery to try to appease them into keeping him, and they still let him go. when he went home his parents said alright u tried that now join the fam business n sung freaked bc he realized he doesnt want that for himself so he went to do smth he also hated, and joined the military. while there he still worked on his dance and vocals whenever he had a moment to do so, so that when he was discharged and started auditioning again, he wasn’t so rusty

he is a year younger in this world, just bc of quantum’s age range, not for any other reason. makes him a little less of a cradle robber in his relationship lol which, another change is that daisuke wouldn’t have been his first kiss, just first everything else

quantum is very different from old element and new element, but it’s very in line with what i liked about quicksilver (& has models from that) and he’s a leader! this is an idea ive toyed with a lot over the last three years tbh. at first i didn’t think sung suited a leader position, but he came to show me he’s just a different kind of leader. i liken him to jinki often in this regard. rather than lassoing members in, he supports them being however they are, and takes an intimate/emotional path to gaining their trust and leading them. and while he wasn’t suited for the full business life, what he learned from his father’s teachings helps him in dealing with the company as the group’s representative there (& he loves a good powerpoint presentation)

other timeline stuff for big events in his life are likely to shift but i’m not sure on specifics yet

2. what does your muse think of their company and their group?

wc: 260

as the child of a businessman, he’s never under the illusion that as a company entity, their first priority is their wellbeing. he knows that they are products, and that they’re treated as such. it’s a bit heavier with dimensions than gold star, since gold star makes a more active effort to pretend they care. however, once having accepted that, sung thinks himself and dimensions work well together. he does feel that for a company, they allow himself and his members to be a part of the creative process, as says their motto. he feels much more encouraged to write songs and choreograph under dimensions than he did under gold star, where it felt like he was constantly on his knees begging for the company to take him seriously

as for quantum, sung really loves what they’re about. he’s not a big fan of all (or most) of their songs, though he’s more loving towards a song written by another member even if it’s the same sound he dislikes, but he absolutely loves being focused on performance and concepts. his creative mind works very much on the basis of story and emotion that comes with it, and he feels like quantum’s concepts sometimes to often lean into his tastes. he’s always been a dancer first and foremost (god am i so glad to have his main dancer title back i MISSED u) so focusing on performance is v much up his alley, and his preferred style of dance is through storytelling. he feels the heart of dance is in that

3. is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract?

wc: 281

quantum’s on their first contract still, up for renewal in 2024. at the current moment, he would like to re-sign. however, unlike my others, his re-signing depends more heavily on the other members. if they were unhappy and wanted to leave, sung would want to follow suit, not because he can’t make his own decisions, but because if the reason the members want to leave is because of the company, not quantum, he’d want to try to help quantum continue to live. if that means all of the members leaving in order to rebrand under another company, so be it. he’d like to avoid lineup changes however he can, and ideally would like to be an idol for as long as possible

he himself feels alright about his treatment. he feels creatively stimulated, and appreciated for talents further than his face. if he were to try to negotiate different terms at their contract renewal, part of it would likely be wanting to give members a higher share of profits, especially on releases they’re creatively involved in. sung personally has no use for excessive money, but not all of his members have his background, and he feels more than just the money, it’s what’s fair. he’d also prefer to allow for more creative freedom. as a 7/8 year group by then, he’d think they should be allowed to take the reigns more heavily. and on his personal side of things, he would want dimensions to be more mindful of his schedule. sung enjoys working, but he’s only one person, who doesn’t want to be overworked. these are all just his current thoughts, though, and will probably change before contract renewal comes up

4. what are your muse’s goals and motivations?

wc: 294

his motivations to be ‘successful’ and/or achieve his goals are his family, namely being someone his nephew and niece can be proud of, and someone his parents can feel was worth letting go of. he feels closer to the latter than he did in old famed. his members motivate him to be a good leader, his desire to grow as a creator motivates him to write and choreograph

specific goals could be bigger like his desire for more public recognition. while quantum has a lot more recognition both in korea and abroad than element or quicksilver, sung wants the best for his group. he’d be happy if they stayed where they are with their loyal fandom, but he still aims for more

sung also wants to get better at standing up for himself. he’s best at standing up for others, because he can slap on a bit of bravado in order to help them out, but when it comes to himself, especially with his parents, he’s pretty awful at it

he’d also like to create more for quantum, and others. i/he have a goal for him to write a whole album for someone, so if anyone reads this far and could want sung writing for their muse, hit me up!

he’d like to get married and have children one day. that’s always been a dream of his, and while he knows his career doesn’t allow for that soon, it’s still on his docket

he wants to spend more time with his family, especially his nephew and niece. they’re so new to the world and learning everything, and sung wants to be a part of that. he doesnt want his part in their early lives to be ‘i don’t really remember seeing him back then’

5. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?

wc: 291

at some point, this bitch is gonna have to admit he’s a homiesexual. in his previous version, it was a lot easier for him to ‘i pretend i do not see it’ when it came to that. sung’s very ignorant when it comes to the queer community in korea, so he’s not even really aware of terms beyond gay, maybe trans. but, terms aside, he always thought he was someone who liked women, and daisuke and a couple of others were just outliers. they were the Special ones outside of his jurisdiction that were just too good for him to not notice. aka he believed he was bi. and now, he still does, but i have less faith he’ll be able to hold that up until he dies like i did before, because he’s actually dated at least one woman before in this world. considering the plot has yet to be picked up, i don’t know the specifics, but i do think it’s harder to run away from when the way he treated a relationship with a woman and a relationship with a man were lightyears away from one another. it’s still possible for him to run away from the truth of the situation, but it’s also very possible that one day, his thoughts on it will shake, and everything will click into place (messily,, probably the messiest clicking ever) it would be a difficult thing for him to come to terms with, though i think it’s better for him in the longterm to truly know who he is, and why he acts the way he does, why he feels the way he does about women vs men. it’s also nice just to not live a lie, even if only privately

6. if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.

wc: 523

sung has a pretty filled history of individual activities. most are points claims with a focus on modelling, his radio, and music, though he’s dipped into pretty much ever facet of idoldom, some with more success than others. his ecp expenditures flesh that out a little more, and add a bit more realism, and/or make sense of the group changes. he had a one year modelling contract with the north face, and while official claims aren’t possible, i was inspired by a couple of things rowoon did with them. there was more of a push on an eco-friendly side of things, and there was a bit of dancing. playing into his group position with dancing i feel is fitting, but the eco friendly part i also feel could round out his image more as a good, kind boy who also can be sexy, whereas before, his earlier modelling claims focused a lot more on the sexy aspect, because it fit element and his trajectory there better. here, it makes him more dual sided from the beginning. north face is also just a nice, strong brand that i think is fitting for a pretty boi. i set it a bit after a year out from debut because i feel like that’s the most realistic, especially for a group like quantum that grew audience with each comeback

part of that first year being focusing only on the group ties into his creative claims as well! his first creative claim was with the bside love, lalala on the eternity ep. the nicest part of creative claims being unattached to positions is that all of sung’s claims are the songs in the discography most Him. so love lalala is very jazzy and smooth, and would have served as his first introduction to songwriting, as well as what made him interested in songwriting. then he was a choreographer on error, which is heavily story based, and about the members being a unit, and making beautiful pictures together. i hope to snag intro long journey and outro long journey from the beginning and end of the ateez sector, because they’re beautiful compositions that fit sung’s style, but also having him on both makes him feel like he’s a part of the concept’s creation in an intimate way, which fits with dms. then there’s aurora, which sung partially composed and partially choreographed. the choreography has contemporary flair to it, and the song is a flowing sound that matches that. then there’s partial production on sunrise, which i just love the robotic ass experimental production there, and comp for with u, which i believe ties back into sung’s rediscovering his love of piano. choreo for valkyrie is most similar to error in it’s pretty pictures way, and also has a bit of complex footwork, especially as its point dance, which is also p sung to want to include. and finally, some comp on stand by, which is like a mix of the appeal of aurora and with u methinks? listening to all of his written songs together i feel like really makes a picture of sung’s songwriting so i love that

#famedrstask1 #and the last q was me trying to keep it brief....... lol

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thedreadvampy · 3 years

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Like idk what you want from me here. If you want to engage me in a specific question about ace/aro identities, as I've said several times and nobody has ever actually done, then ask me the specific question. Don't fuck around with vague gestures at Points of Discourse and then get cross with me because I haven't answered the Exact Question you Didn't Ask But Expected Me To Intuit.

Preface: If you don't want to answer any of these because you are allo/allo and don't have a say because its not your place, say that. In fact, I'm asking these because you seem to do have opinions on things you shouldn't based off things you have said in the past.

I also want to state that I agree fully with your points about Martin- minus the blatant aphobia. Not just acephobia, arophobia as well.

1. Do you think qprs are problematic? I believe you once made a post saying roughly that qprs are just normal friendships, or something like that, that has since been deleted. What is your current opinion?

2. Are het aros lgbt?

3. Are het aces lgbt?

4. Cis aro/aces lgbt?

5. Cishet aro/aces?

6. Do the spectrums and micro identities exist? You've implied in the past they don't, in the post about how they were supposedly created from sex positivity

7. Can aros be in or desire romantic relationships?

8. Can aces have or desire sex?

9. Does the split attraction model exist and does it benefit people?

10. Can teenagers identify as aro/ace or do you think they're too young?

11. Can you be, say, an aroace lesbian, or an aroace gay, aroace bi, etc. Idk how to phrase this one but like can you be aroace and still id with another orientation?

I could send another anon detailing the aphobia in the post, because I at least am certainly not upset about Martin being sexual, rather it was the very blatant aphobia. It could have stemmed from ignorance, and if that's the case I don't mind explaining it.

Ok this is a lot of questions, some with quite involved answers, so I'm gonna answer them chunk by chunk so it's a bit more manageable, and then I might come back to some of the surrounding message. This isn't gonna be an immediate bang bang bang, but I'll try and work through them over the next couple of days.

Question 1

1. No, I don't think qprs are problematic. I don't necessarily understand them but I don't need to understand them to understand and respect that they're a thing that's important to a lot of people. I don't know what post you're referring to, but I'm surprised that you say it was deleted, because I very rarely delete posts except, occasionally, reblogs where people have flagged up misinformation or dogwhistles or which I reblogged by accident. tbh I'm the messiest online presence I'm way too lazy to delete past posts or block people even when I probably should bc I don't like to feel like I'm ~hiding evidence~. So I'm not saying you're wrong, you're probably totally right, but I'm surprised.

I'm thinking about what posts I've made that you could be thinking of, and obviously I don't remember everything I say on here bc I say A Lot and I actively post to get things out of my head so 🤷‍♀️ but I do remember making a post a while ago where I said that it was a normal expectation of friendship to have some friends close enough that you'll live with them, raise kids with them, etc, and I'm wondering if that was the post you're thinking of? I did have qprs in mind while writing that to a degree, but only because I think 'you wouldn't do this with your friends' is a very common argument people put forward about qprs and I think it's a weak argument, because many people have different definitions of friendship, and the only argument I think is needed for any sort of I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing is...I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing. Like you can't offer a universal materialist definition of the differences between romantic, queerplatonic, sexual and platonic relationships, because the boundaries are very personal and it's really an emotional and experiential difference. so if that is the post you're thinking of, I wasn't criticising The Concept Of QPRs as much as saying that I thought trying to put hard lines around What Friends Do Vs What QPPs Do was a) counterproductive when arguing with someone who thinks QPR is Just Normal Friendships bc. if they do those things with their friends then saying NO THIS IS A QPR THING just reinforces their existing belief that you're talking about the same thing as they mean by friendships and b) to me seems to set a painful expectation to young people that you can only get these kinds of close friendships occasionally and in the form of a QPR and it will be stigmatised and misunderstood (and depending on how people talk about it, is only accessible to aspec people and allo people should only expect it to come through romantic/sexual relationships), when in fact most people of most ages I know have friends with whom they can share things like housing, deep feelings, futures, finances, who they miss if they don't see for a few days, who are mutually supportive and vital to their wellbeing. I don't think that's mutually exclusive with the existence of QPRs though - like I personally don't know what the difference is between a QPR and a close friendship, but I also don't know what the difference is between a romantic relationship and a close friendship but I know there is one and I know it's not a question of What You Do but a question of How You Feel And Interact, and that's pretty hard to define in unambiguous terms.

Like generally I don't Not Think QPRs exist, and I think it's a dick move to try and tell people they're wrong about how they experience and define their relationships because???? how are you meant to know that better than the person whose relationship it is??? but I do think the way people talk about QPRs (both from the perspective of defending them and from the perspective of attacking them) is pretty rife with problems and I don't think it's invalidating the reality of QPRs to talk about where the arguments and language around them potentially falls down or has unexpected consequences.

On the other hand, I don't know if that actually is the post you're referring to - the reason I'm calling back to that is that that and a few resultant asks are the only time I remember talking about QPRs on here in the last year or so. So like, several of these questions reference past posts, which is very fair, but I do need it to be clear that, since I don't really tag anything and I don't have a great memory, I can only really speak to What I Think Now In This Context, not to what I posted in the past and what I was thinking when I posted it. Like, this isn't too deny responsibility - I reckon I'm responsible for what I post even if I don't still agree with it, which is why I don't tend to delete my own posts on purpose - but just to deny capacity, I guess? I don't really KNOW what I've posted so if you talk about it in vague terms (and I do understand that if it's been deleted there's not a lot you can do but that) I may not necessarily be responding to the part of it that's worried you, so if I'm not speaking to something specific I've said or done, it's not because I Don't Want To, I just don't necessarily know to.

I'm waffling about this because looking through your messages there's a lot of "you said X" and like. given that the intended message of the post that's kicked this off was very different to the message people have taken from it, it feels important to me to know whether if I looked at the posts you're referencing I'd be like "ah yeah I did believe that but now I believe X" or if it's more a situation of "oh right I can see how you took X from that but my thinking was more Y".

(also sometimes when people say "you made a post" they mean "you reblogged a post" and I am a compulsive discourse scroller so sometimes I reblog a random post to bookmark my place on someone's discourse blog or I accidentally longpress the reblog button while scrolling - I try to delete reblogs that I don't agree with but sometimes I miss some, all of which to say if there's a post on my blog that doesn't seem to reflect what I say in my original posts then it doesn't necessarily mean I'm a crypto-whatever so much as I'm very lazy and messy with my blog. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be held accountable for reblogs but it's useful to know if we're talking original content or reblogs bc I'm unlikely to fully accidentally make a post. but I quite often accidentally reblog stuff. I doubt this is the case with this sitch just bc of your phrasing but I want to cover my bases)

anyway tl;dr: no I don't believe that QPRs themselves are inherently problematic, nor do I think I have at any point believed that, but I do think that a lot of the language and ideas used to talk about them are based in miscommunication or absolutist ideas about relationships and can have damaging knock on effects.

#i recognise that your past ask implied that it was somehow evasive to answer in long form #so sorry but this is gonna get loooong #but I'd rather be long and honest than say something snappy and absolutist that doesn't reflect what i actually think #so yeah this is gonna go ooooooooooon

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pynkhues · 4 years

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what are your top 5 fights??

Oh, gosh! This is such a hard one, because this show really does fights so wel! Even when they don’t entirely land writing-wise, they’re always steeped conceptually in real conflicts that feel genuine to who these characters are (and the performances often go a long way in carrying the weaker points of the writing). It means that almost every (although not every) fight in this show is built off of real friction which lets it throw weight around in a way that’s really emotionally and narratively satisfying.

So basically, I could’ve listed a lot here! But I’ve somehow managed to narrow it down to just five, so that’s exciting, haha.

5. “Just because you want something doesn’t give you the right to take it.” Mary Pat and Boomer. 1.10

This is probably a controversial opinion, but man, this fight just lands for me. Not only does it come after Mary Pat has – on her own and organically – discovered that Boomer’s spying on her, but after she’s gone to Beth seeking answers. As a result, when Boomer comes to vent, he gets a Mary Pat who knows everything.

Allison Tolman and David Hornsby are at their best in this scene, and they perfectly balance the comedy (Mary Pat’s faux ignorance of crime and her darting eyes never fail to make me cackle), to the absolutely devastating (”You know what button I’m talking about.”) in a way that shouldn’t work, but does. In a single scene, the show not only calls Boomer out on his entitlement via Mary Pat calling him on his attempted rape of Annie, but it unpacks Mary Pat’s strength of character amidst her ruthless survivalism and seeming scatter-brained tendencies. Boomer reveals his true character at the same time Mary Pat does, and only one of them is surprising.

It’s also, in hindsight, made only all the more tragic, given we know that Mary Pat not letting Boomer off the hook for his attempted rape of Annie only ends later with her own assault. It’s a fight that succeeded in the moment, but only becomes stronger as the series continues.

4. “I’m that bitch.” Ruby and Stan. 2.02.

I mean!! What can I say about this scene that I haven’t said a million times over? I. Love. It. It’s probably the singularly most cathartic moment this show has ever had, and Retta and Reno know it, both doing their part in a way that lets Ruby shine. Ruby’s always had the most complicated relationship with crime on this show after all, and this is the first moment she really owned it. She’s never liked it, and probably never will, but she knows exactly why she did it, and that much at least she won’t ever regret. It’s extremely satisfying on every level - character, story and thematic.

3. “She had no choice.” Ruby and Annie. 2.10

2.10 is probably one of the messiest episodes of the entire series. The pacing is scattered at best, and the tension often feels mis-weighted. That said, one of the reasons it just feels messy as opposed to frustrating is that amidst some of the awkwardness, it’s also an episode that has some really awesome heavy-hitter scenes, and Annie and Ruby’s fight on the bus is one of them.

On paper, the girls fight a lot, but they’ve actually had very few emotional take-out fights like this one, which is not only as much about the past as it is about the present, but as much about the person who isn’t there as the person who is. Beth’s not in this scene, but she’s felt in more ways than one as Annie tries to throw how Ruby defers to Beth as a friend back at her, while Ruby tries to throw all Beth’s done for Annie as her sister back at her in return. It makes for a gruelling, ruthless fight that nobody comes out of unscathed, and it elevates Annie’s insecurity and Ruby moral dilemma in a way that deepens the context of all three of the women’s dynamic.

2. “I’m so stupid he shot me in my own living room / You’re a drug dealer.” Beth and Dean. Beth and Rio. 2.07.

This is totally a cheat, haha, because they’re technically two fights, but I choose to view them just as extensions of each other as opposed to separate fights, but yes! The 2.07 fights after Jane goes missing!

So many of the fights on this show are about characters revealing hands – in fact, every fight on this list is – but I don’t think any episode embodies that as much as 2.07 does.

This episode elevates and escalates tensions in a way that functions as an emotional reveal and a narrative trust in ways it’s never done as fully before. Every part of this fight builds not only off the fact that Beth inherently trusts Rio when it comes to her children – something that proves deserved at the end when he brings her back the dubby – but that she inherently doubts Dean with her children – something that, again, is proved deserved by the end of the episode when it turns out Jane’s still in the house, despite Dean’s frantic pleas to the contrary, and later in 2.08 when he takes them.

Those fundamental truths are only doubled down on in this episode with both Dean and Rio calling Beth out on exactly who she is – Dean via her association with Rio, and Rio by telling her that she’s a drug dealer – and the episode ending on the hook of Ruby coming clean to Beth. Season 2 might’ve been a lot of smoke, but 2.07 was all mirrors, and all of them were faced at Beth – making pivotal demands that would, of course, come to a head across the last few episodes of the season.

1. “Why?” Ruby and Stan. 3.08

One of the best bits of writing advice I ever got was that the most narratively satisfying conflicts come when both people are right, and nobody’s wrong, and that’s entirely what this argument is steeped in. I have a lot of thoughts on the fact that season 3 was devoted to Ruby and Stan’s moral realignment (a pivotal thing that needed to happen for them to regain their balance as a couple), and in a lot of ways, that’s what this fight is about.

They both feel the injustice of their lives as much as they feel their recent moral slip. They feel the ways they’ve suffered as much as they feel their love, and their luck in having found that love. Ruby’s determination to steer them back on some sort of path while Stan just wants to finally bring his family what he’s always worked too hard to offer them is a really steep, deep narrative conflict and one there’s no easy answer for. It’s a perfect stalemate, and it’s one articulated perfectly with Ruby’s refusal to wear the ring Stan’s bought her and Stan’s refusal to return it.

It’s a frustrating, wrenching scene, and one drummed home by Retta and Reno’s performances, but if they worked together to make Ruby shine in 2.02, they work together here to give a voice to Stan’s pain. Reno’s delivery of ‘why’, and his face afterwards, aches in a way that tells of years of sucking it up, and you feel it when he can’t quite hide it anymore, and when Ruby’s left to grapple with it too.

The fight is painful, because, like I said at the start of this point, neither of them are wrong, and watching them renegotiate this fight after the fact is just another reason why Stan and Ruby are one of the best couples on TV.

So! That’s me, haha, but you’ve made me so curious now! I’d love to know what other people’s favourite fights are! There are so many to choose from, haha.

#gg 1.10 #gg 2.02 #gg 2.10 #gg 2.07 #gg 3.08 #mary pat #leslie peterson #ruby hill #annie marks #stan hill #beth boland #rio #dean boland #dis/honesty #welcome to my ama #nbc good girls #bathroombreaks

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rainandhotchocolate · 4 years

Text

Coffee and Books

A/N it’s day TWO FOLKS - this is a coffee shop au kind of thing, super fluffy, literally just fluff. and fluff. anyway enjoy the fluff xx

Sirius watched as Y/N heaved the large packaged box through the front door of Grub Street Books as he absentmindedly washed a large glass over and over again in his hands.

“Stop staring you freak,” James elbowed him, grinning as Sirius had to stumble forwards to avoid breaking the glass in his hands.

“I wasn’t staring,” He grumbled, giving another quick glance out the window and across to where Y/N had been standing. She was gone. Sirius looked away quickly, trying to look busy stacking up the rest of the glasses on top of the coffee machine before the 6am rush. James was babbling behind him about his latest attempt to get one of their regulars, Lily, a pretty redhead who ordered 3 shots of coffee and sat working on her computer furiously for hours on end. He nodded along slowly, ducking under the counter to grab more glasses.

“Uh hello?”

A voice came from above the counter, making Sirius jump and bang his head on the shelf.

“Oh hi, hello, oh hey!” Sirius brushed his hair out of his face, surprised to see Y/N standing in front of him, smiling expectantly.

They both spoke simultaneously.

“You’re not usually in this early.”

“Could I grab a strong three-quarter latte?”

“Oh sorry, of course, I normally prepare regulars orders in advance so it will just take a few minutes.” Sirius backtracked, feeling his cheeks flush as he spoke over her again.

“Oh, we are trialling opening earlier to get people walking to work,” Y/N laughed loudly, a throaty sound that made her whole-body shake. Sirius had a pang in his chest as he heard it and struggled to not lean on his forearm and watch her.

“Ok so mornings don’t suit either of us then,” Y/N breathed out a final laugh, smiling brightly at him. Sirius was desperately trying to calm his heart doing acrobatics in his chest.

“Yeah,” He smiled back at her, “You’d think I’d be much better since I do this every day.”

“Perhaps you need some coffee,” She winked and moved to the other side of the counter where patrons usually waited for food. Sirius went to reply but instead opened and closed his mouth before moving towards the coffee machine, cursing internally. James sniggered from behind him as he poured out a double shot and tried to ignore him.

“Oh, shut up, you can’t get a date to save your life,” He hissed in response, but instead of putting James out, his grin grew wider.

“Just you wait, you’ll be at our wedding,” James replied, pushing Sirius forwards and towards where Y/N was walking, “Talk to her.”

“What do I say?”

“Anything!”

“Did you get your haircut?” Sirius called towards Y/N who had turned around to wave goodbye and stopped clumsily to hear him.

“Oh,” She reached out and felt the edge of her hair, “Yeah, I put some colour in it.”

“It’s…nice.”

“Thanks, it was due for a change,” She smiled at him, still twirling her finger through her hair, “uh, so see you.”

“Yeah,” Sirius waved at her, turning to face the counter and putting his head directly onto it.

“That was not smooth,” Sirius raised his head to see Lily standing in front of him, a smirk playing on her lips as she pulled off her large winter coat.

“Shut up, Miss workaholic, I’m yet to see you make conversation with any potential dates,” Sirius glared at her, placing a glass underneath the coffee machine where James had begun making her order but became periodically distracted with her dark green, figure hugging sweater.

“You have yet to see me outside this café, I do well enough thanks,” Lily winked at Sirius, taking the glass of triple expresso and taking her regular spot at the counter. At first, Sirius had wondered why she bothered sitting at the counter when she seemed to seethe at James’ general existence and constant attempts to ask her out on a date, but he’d soon seen the soft smiles she gave when James wasn’t looking, mostly when the next door neighbours kids came in and he gave them all babycinos with different little pictures in the milk and chatted with them as they stared up at him with awe.

“She is right, that was awful.”

“Yeah thanks mate, that definitely needed to be said,” Sirius grumbled, turning on his hospitality smile, the one that always got him extra tips, and facing the queue of early morning customers who had begun to trek into the café, leaving a trail of wet snow and rain at the entrance.

The day was a long one, it always seemed to get significantly busier when the holidays began, customers wanting a warm drink and to stare at the cold weather from the large glass windows. Sirius was happy for the distraction, wanting to completely forget he ever spoke to Y/N like an absolute prat and focus on the regulars instead. Lily stayed later than usual, still tapping away loudly at her computer when James and Sirius had begun closing up, James humming jingle bells (which had been blasting through the speakers all afternoon) as he mopped the floors.

“I’ve seen you with other customers,” Lily said suddenly, not looking up at Sirius. Sirius had semi-forgotten she was there as he cleaned out the coffee machine and turned to her in surprise.

“What?”

“I’ve seen you chatting to other customers, girls who come through, you could flirt the panties off an old lady.”

“Did I ever tell you how charming you are?” Sirius rolled his eyes, deflecting her insinuation. He knew he was a bit of a flirt; it was something he’d learnt from his parents. Dress well, compliment something specific, plaster a shit-eating grin on your face, and people will trust you. It was automatic at this point, having worked in hospitality for the last 5 years it was ingrained into his system, and as much as he’d rather not thank is parents for anything, it had definitely gotten him a few good nights.

Lily sighed at him, finally closing her laptop and leaning over the counter. Her bright green eyes were a little mesmerising as she glared up at him. Sirius had the sudden thought that perhaps James made her mad just to see this look.

“You get at least one phone number a day, and you can’t even have a fucking conversation with this girl? What’s the deal?”

Sirius continued cleaning the coffee machine, ignoring her continued stare and irritating silence. He groaned, putting down the large bottle of detergent.

“I actually like her, ok? Its like my whole body shuts down when she’s around and I become this… blithering idiot of a human being.”

Lily suddenly broke into a huge smile. Sirius gave her a suspicious look.

“What…”

“Sirius is in love!” Lily cried, her smile somehow getting wider, eyes twinkling up at him. The noise caught the attention of James who was still humming the same three lines of jingle bells. He skipped up to the counter, leaning against it and looking similarly up at Sirius.

“I’m sorry, do repeat that for me, would you?” James put his hands under his chin and crooked his head. Sirius wanted to swipe out a hand and make his hands fall out from underneath him.

“This little immature boy is in love!” Lily said again, without a hint of sarcasm towards James, still grinning. It took James a second to realise that she wasn’t making a snipe at him.

“I -uh, oh!” James’ eyes flickered between Lily and Sirius, hiding his confusion terribly. Lily ignored him regardless, beginning to pack her things back into her large tote bag.

“Just talk to her, pick a subject to ask her about or something, it’s sad seeing you so… well desperate,” Lily gave him a slightly apologetic look before standing up, “Alright, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.

James watched her as she walked out of the café, already on her phone.

“Ok, she’s in love with me,” James lifted his arms up, fists clenched, a look of triumph plastered on his face.

“She was nice to you one time, and that’s your conclusion?”

“You’ve got to have hope, my poor lost in love friend,” James patted his shoulder sagely. Sirius twisted around and pushed him off playfully.

“I’ll kill you,” Sirius grabbed his oversized trench coat and gloves, starting to turn off all the lights as James followed suit.

“You couldn’t live without me,” James made kissing noises, dodging out of the way as Sirius swung towards his ribs.

They locked up and began walking towards their apartment three streets over. The wind was howling now, making the trees lined up across the street sway dangerously over the power lines. Sirius pulled his coat tighter around him, forcing himself to keep looking forwards instead of flicking his eyes back to see if the light was still on in Y/N’s store. I wonder if she is by herself-

“You’ve got the keys, mate,” James nudged him, looking expectantly at the front door they were now standing in front of, pulling Sirius out of his thoughts.

“Right, right,” He replied absent-mindedly, pulling out the large set of keys he kept on hand and finding the right one to bring them into the warmth of their home. They’d lived together ever since school finished, even though James’ parents lived two suburbs over in a huge terrace house near Hyde Park. Whilst James was one of the messiest people Sirius’ had ever come across, and possibly had no idea how to cook anything other than omelettes and stir-fry’s, they’d yet to get into a proper argument that wasn’t just about Sirius distracting James when they were playing FIFA. Which is likely why Sirius’ cranky mood sparked James’ interest.

“What is wrong,” He elongated each vowel, trailing after Sirius who had thrown his coat across the couch and began thumping his way into his bedroom, “Is it just about this girl? What’s her name, Y/N? You really weren’t that bad this morning.”

“Can you just, please, leave me alone for a minute,” Sirius kept his voice calm, not wanting James to start prodding him with his bony fingers.

“Alright, alright,” He put his hands up in defeat, “I’m ordering Indian if you want some.”

Sirius grunted a yes, kicking off his boots outside his room and laying face forward on the bed. Idiot idiot idiot.

Y/N had started working at the shop next door a nearly a year ago now, replacing the previous manager who had come into Sirius & James’ café every morning and complained that their service was too slow. She’d come in and introduced herself, and Sirius dropped a whole tray of saltshakers across the floor. He wasn’t quite sure what it was that made him so nervous. Maybe it was way her smile took over her whole face, crinkling her nose and making her eyes close-up slightly and her dimples show. Or the parade of brightly coloured coats she seemed to own that seemed to both clash and go with what she was wearing all at once. Or when he’d asked her about her favourite books and her eyes lit up like a child and her voice got louder and louder when she spoke about her favourite characters. Or perhaps it was because she was god damned pretty.

Sirius groaned into his pillow as James called out that food had arrived, joining him on the couch in silence. After a moment, James turned to face Sirius, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Do you… do you think that Lily actually likes me… just like, as a person?” James said earnestly.

“I…” Sirius was thrown a little of guard, a spoonful of dahl still in his mouth. He swallowed quickly, “I mean, yeah, I think so. I think she just doesn’t really like when you act like a twat around her.”

“Mm,” James turned back to his food, looking pensive. Sirius thumbed the spoon he was holding a little awkwardly.

“You just need to stop harassing her, act like a normal human being. She always watches you with other customers, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really, I’m not going to make shit up to make you feel better,” Sirius gave him a smile, shoving him slightly.

“Y/N watches you too you know. When you’re making her coffee, she basically can’t take her eyes off you.”

“Mm,” Sirius kept his face neutral but could feel his heart rate spiking.

“Anyway, want to play FIFA?”

The next morning snow had begun to fall heavily, wind banging against the windows of James and Sirius’ apartment. James was huddled around a bowl of hot porridge as Sirius came into the kitchen to grab some breakfast before they made their way to the café.

“Are people even going to come today, it’s so bloody cold,” James groaned, watching the snow fall outside the window.

“You know it will be stupidly busy,” Sirius muttered, rubbing his eyes. He felt like he’d barely slept, going over what he could have said, should have said, to Y/N. James groaned again, leaning back into their large brown armchair.

The snow had become slush, and made what was normally a 5-minute walk, 15. Reaching the corner of the street Sirius noticed a small figure huddled out the front of the café, wrapped in a large deep red coat, head dipped to avoid the wind. When the figure noticed the two boys, they looked up, giving them a warm smile and making Sirius want to melt into the pavement once he realised it was Y/N.

“Hey!” She called out, standing up and brushing the snowflakes off her shoulders. James pushed Sirius in front of him as they reached the front door.

“Uh, hey! What are you doing here? I mean, not in a bad way, it’s great that you’re here, but like it’s cold a-“Sirius shut up with another kick from James.

“Yeah, sorry, I’ve been locked out,” she grimaced, dancing on the spot a little to keep warm as James unlocked the door. Sirius had the urge to wrap his arms around her. James pushed the door open and let her in with a smile, turning into a go and fucking talk to her glare when Sirius reached the doorway.

“What happened?” Sirius gave James a scowl in response and followed Y/N into the café.

“The lovely owner decided to change all the locks last night. She said there would be a spare key in the letterbox but there is nothing,” Y/N huffed, pulling off her coat and gloves, rubbing her hands together to warm them up, “I’m so glad you guys are here early, I have to wait for her to come in and knowing her it will be at least another hour.”

“You’re lucky it’s snowing out, we normally leave a lot later,” James grinned at her, pushing Sirius over from the coffee machine so that he could make her coffee and force Sirius into talking instead.

“That’s why I’m here early too, anticipated falling over at least 4 times on the way over,” Y/N turned her smile on Sirius, her y/e/c eyes gazing into his.

“So, you, uh, live near here as well then?”

“Yeah! Just around the corner, moved closer when I got the job. Where do you live?”

“About three blocks away, with James.”

“Oh wow, what’s it like working and living together?” Y/N laughed, and Sirius’ stomach jolted.

“Haven’t killed him yet, so not awful,” Sirius grinned back at her, leaning against the counter.

“I just moved into a place by myself, I’m still not sure if I like having no roommates or not, but at least I’m not cleaning every fucking afternoon,” She shook her head, turning her smile on James as he handed her the mug of coffee.

“You’re telling me! This one doesn’t know how to do his own laundry,” Sirius pointed at James who looked affronted.

“What! How old are you? How can you not know how to do laundry!” Y/N’s smile grew wider as they fell into easy conversation about James’ lack of ability to function without his family.

A loud alarm went off on Sirius’ phone, making both Sirius and Y/N jump.

“Oh shit, we need to open shop,” Sirius swore, rushing to grab the coffee from the storeroom as James finished setting up each table and swung around the open sign.

Lily was the first through the door, grumbling about being stuck in the cold for an extra 2 minutes than she’d planned this morning. She stopped short when she saw Y/N sitting on the counter, a smirk playing on her lips.

“Hello there,” Lily dropped her bag next to Y/N and held out a hand, “I’m Lily.”

“Oh, Y/N. Are you a regular here?” Y/N glanced at Sirius who had stared on Lily’s order and nodded.

“You could say that, so you’re the Y/N who works across the road yes? At the bookstore?”

“Uh, yes,” Y/N breathed out a laugh, “Have you been in before?”

“Once or twice,” Lily gave Sirius a mischievous smile, ignoring his eyes flashing at her.

Sirius went to interrupt them but a line had formed behind the counter and the first customer had begun tapping obnoxiously on the linoleum floors.

“Sorry, been a bit of a mess this morning, what can I get for you?”

The morning rush, as Sirius predicted, was worse than usual, with many people using their café as an excuse to get out of the cold for a few minutes. Sirius watched out of the corner of his eye Y/N and Lily continue to chat, giggling to each other every few minutes. He felt sick, what was she telling her.

Finally, the crowd eased, and Sirius turned back to where Y/N and Lily had been sitting to find some excuse to steal Y/N away, but she was gone. He stared at the spot momentarily, Lily having already pulled out her laptop and was tapping away aggressively, before he heard a small cough in front of him.

“Sirius?” Y/N had pulled on her coat and was standing in front of him.

“Oh hey, I thought you’d left-“But Y/N interrupted before Sirius could embarrass himself further.

“Lily was telling me that you were having trouble finding a new book to read, you should come by after work, I’ll grab you some new books,” Y/N smiled brightly, grabbing her coat and waving goodbye to James.

“Oh, yeah, that sounds good,” Sirius beamed, waving her off into the snow. His heart was in his throat. What just happened?

“Success!” Lily looked over her laptop, having obviously just eaves dropped on their entire conversation, grinning at him.

“What did you do?”

“Exactly what she said, that you were looking for a good read,” Lily shrugged, “It’s really not that hard when she’s so clearly into you.”

Sirius scowled at her but couldn’t help feeling a slightly bit grateful for her intervention.

“Also, where’s James today? He hasn’t annoyed me once, I was worried he might have died,” Lily returned to her laptop, but Sirius was sure he didn’t miss the flush that hit her cheeks.

“Oh, he’s around, perhaps he’s realised you’re not interested,” Sirius winked at her.

The rest of the day seemed to drag, each minute to 6pm ticking along so slowly Sirius swore that the clocks had stopped multiple times throughout the day. Finally, the last customer had left, and Sirius had begun biting his nails whilst he wiped the counter down again.

“Oh my god, go Sirius, before you go insane,” James grabbed the towel from his hands and swapped it with his trenchcoat, “Come on.”

“Alright, alright,” Sirius swatted him away, pulling on the coat, pausing when he reached the door, “Are you sure you can close down everything by yourself?”

“Stop stalling you freak, go.”

Sirius gave him a grimace as James gave him the finger and indicated for him to leave again. Wrapping the Trenchcoat around himself he stepped into the bracing wind, watching carefully for cars before running across the road to Grub Street Books. The lights were still on, but Y/N had turned the open sign around to deter any customers. He knocked on the door, feeling supremely awkward about knocking on the door of a store, watching as Y/N looked up from what she was reading and smiled, bounding down from the sales desk to meet him.

“You came!” She ushered him in, closing the door quickly to keep out the cold.

“Well you know, can’t turn down free books,” Sirius breathed out a laugh watching her move back to the desk.

“Who said they were free?”

“Oh, I’m sorry I just presumed, I – “

“I’m kidding,” Y/N laughed, and Sirius felt himself let go of the breath he was holding. Get a grip, Black.

“Sorry, I’m a bit all over the place today,” He met her at the desk, “So what books can you recommend me?”

“Well I might need a bit of help on your end, given there’s about 20 billion books out there. What are you into?”

“Thrillers, mostly. A bit of sci-fi?” Sirius pulled a hand through his hair, enjoying watching Y/N’s eyes trail his hands before meeting his.

“Ok, I can work with that, give me a second,” She slipped away towards the bookshelves, humming something Sirius couldn’t quite make out. Sirius leaned against the counter, trying to avoid biting his nails. The store was small, but in a quaint way that felt like you could sit in the corner and read for hours without realising it. Sirius had only been in a few times, given that the previous manager was a dick, and his working hours usually overlapped, but he noticed that Y/N had put up a couple of large posters of classic rock bands along the walls.

“So, there’s three I can think of right now that I reckon, you’ll like,” Y/N came out of the shadows holding three, very large books.

“Three is plenty, I’m a very slow reader,” Sirius grinned as she came and displayed them in front of him, standing by his side. Sirius couldn’t help but wonder how easy it would be to just slip his hand on the small of her back, or into her fingers. He could feel her body heat radiating into his shoulder, her hair inches away from his.

“Well I’ve read this one,” She pointed to the largest, a book called Dune with a sunset colour across the front cover, “it is quite long because it’s like multiple books in one? But definitely worth the read.”

She turned to gauge his reaction, her face suddenly inches from his. Sirius swallowed hard, desperately trying to avoid glancing down at her perfectly shaped, soft pink lips…

“Uh, yeah… that one sounds… good,” Sirius breathed out slowly, still watching her closely. Y/N hadn’t moved either, keeping her eyes latched on his. Fuck it.

He leaned slightly closer, his heartbeat getting louder and louder in his chest as he breathed in the smell of her shampoo and watched her inch close to him as well. His hand crept around her hips and pulled her in suddenly, pressing his lips softly against hers. She leaned into him, placing her arms around his neck as they moved slowly together.

Sirius pulled away first, feeling exceedingly giddy, looking down at her with a goofy smile.

“I was sort of hoping you would do that,” She breathed out, smiling up at him as well.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I was worried I’d have to get out the mistletoe,” Y/N smirked, still leaning in close to his chest.

“I actually have something else I wanted to ask you,” Sirius murmured, loving the feeling of her stomach pressed up against him, his arms around her waist.

“Is that so?”

“Did you want to get dinner sometime?”

“No.”

“Oh, I- “

“Not some time, what about tonight,” Y/N bit her lip, still smirking at him.

“Give me a heart attack why don’t you,” Sirius closed his eyes, shaking his head at her as he barked out a laugh.

“So, you free?”

“As a bird.”

“You definitely need to read more if that’s what you’re going with,” Y/N laughed again, a little nervously. Sirius wanted to revel in it, the slight hitch in her breathing as she looked up at him.

“You’re probably right.” Sirius wasn’t smiling now, but watching her, standing in front of him.

“What?”

“Nothing, you’re just… very beautiful.”

Y/N flushed a bright red.

“Well that’s a bit better,” She ducked her head, but Sirius lifted up again with his hand and leaned in to kiss her once more.

“So, dinner?” He said softer now, his forehead leaning against hers.

“Dinner.”

Taglist: @averytruerayofsunshine @siriuslyjanhvi @blushingskywalker @blackpinkdolan @thebabblingbookworm @cherrie511 @imlukesnirvana @avengersassemblee @maraudersandco @sly-vixen-up2nogood @katbernoulli @sirius-lysad @evyiione @minerva26love @aikeia @gollyderek @greatwombatblaze @songforhema @your-typical-giggle @myownviperroom

Advent taglist: @maraudersandco @gollyderek

#rainandhotchocolate #sirius x reader #sirius fanfiction #sirius black x reader #sirius imagine #sirius black imagine #sirius black fanfiction #marauders #james potter #marauders imagine #marauders x reader

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xxsanshinexx · 5 years

Text

Dick Boy

Characters: Felix X reader (featuring Ateez)

Genre: Crack/Fluff

Words: 3809

Synopsis: Your soulmate just wouldn’t stop drawing dicks on your arm

You were told growing up that soulmates were a special thing. It was the person who your soul was tied to, who could make you the happiest you could ever be, it was someone everyone in their lives wanted to meet at least once. Your parents were lucky enough to have found each other early on in life, some of your friends had found theirs while on the playground at recess and others were still idly searching for their second half. People said that when they realized who they’re soulmate was, an intense feeling of euphoria flowed through them; however, you were skeptical that you would have such feelings towards your soulmate.

They just wouldn’t stop drawing dicks on your arm.

Soulmates were attached by drawing on the skin. Whatever you wrote down on yourself would become plastered to your soulmates skin until you removed it. So when small doodles showed up on your skin as a child you were rather fond of the scribbles. There were small drawings of dogs, of singers, and occasionally a poorly written hello which you barely had time to respond to before it was washed away. Those sweet drawings from childhood had washed away entirely by the time you had reached middle school, high school, and now college. Instead of “hello” or “good morning”, it was “what’s 34 to the 3rd degree” or “What else is in a cell all I remember is mitochondria”. While your soulmate was endearing, he was also annoying.

Especially now as a rather large dick began to mark the top of your arm, for everyone in your morning lecture to see. You were jolted from your adapt note taking as the shapes began to take form, making your face heat up in embarrassment as you tried your best to cover it. On most days, you even brought a jacket no matter the weather to hide the embarrassing images that appeared on the skin of your body.

“Another dick pic?” Jongho, a friend you had made on the first day of your college experience due to another unfortunate placage of phallical drawings, laughed as you pressed your hand against the desk trying to cover the growing amount of drawings.

“This little shit has an obsession I swear!” You quietly grumbled as you tried to focus back on your lecture and notes, but the ghost of a pen marking your skin was hard to ignore; especially as it creeped up your arm.

“Damn this one is bigger than the last,” Jongho traced the outline of the shapes trailing up your arm, “This one is incredibly vivid as well… maybe your soulmate is just a really good dick drawer? Ever thought about that? Art majors are weird in inexplicable ways.”

“Just give me a marker and shut up.”

Jongho scoffed and rolled his eyes, focusing back on the professor who seemed to still be on the same topic, “What makes you think I have markers on me.”

“There’s literally a coloring book out in front of you.” Indeed, Jongho never failed to bring some childish activity to do during your morning lectures. He found them too boring to pay attention to and would much rather listen to them on his phone later when his brain was up to it.

He sighed in defeat and handed you a bright red marker, a contrast to the black on your arm, “I’d rather you not expose me in front of the entire class.”

“Trust me, you’re doing that to yourself right now,” You uncapped the marker with you teeth and took another look at his book, “Is that Hello Kitty?”

“Leave her out of this you dick fanatic.” His comment made a few people around you turn their heads and you ducked, the redness of your cheeks brighter than the marker in your hand. Jongho wasn’t lying though, your soulmate really was a dick fanatic. Lifting your arm back onto the table, it was nearly entirely covered in phallical images, some more vivid than others, and it made you grit your teeth in annoyance; even more so at the fact that they had the audacity to do so in all the colors of the rainbow.

“Can you not draw dicks on yourself at 10 a.m. please, I just want to get through my classes.”

There was a reply no less than a minute later, but it was in a different handwriting than normal, “Ah so your his soulmate. We didn’t think you’d see all of these.”

You scoffed at the reply, scribbling back angrily, “Do you not know how soulmates work?? Now go wash him off or something I have to give a presentation and I DO NOT want dicks on my arms.”

“You’re no fun, your soulmate thinks it’s funny.”

“I’m sure he does now please wash his arm.” You paused as you looked up, noticing a few eyes trailing your arms and to the frantic scribbling of your pen, “This is embarrassing.”

“I’m so drawing more, when’s your presentation? I’ll draw one right on his forehead for you <3”

You decided in that moment that you hated whoever your soulmate associated himself with, “If I ever find out who you are I swear to God I’m going to kill you.”

“Those are big words coming from someone with dicks all over their-” the words were cut off abruptly, with a smudged trail of ink following them. You frowned at the sudden lack of words until more began to appear, this time in an all too familiar handwriting, “I'M SO SORRY ABOUT MY FRIENDS I GO SHOWER RIGHT NOW.”

“Just wash the dicks off your arm please… and stop letting them draw on you.” you sighed as you capped the pen, leaning back in your seat avoiding the amused stares from your classmates.

Jongho chuckled at your flustered state and took the pen from your hands, “So you get through to them?”

“It’s a he apparently,” You leaned your forehead against the desk, all motivation to follow along in today's lecture entirely gone, “And he has very awful friends.”

“Sounds more like he’s in middle school than college.”

“You act the exact same way, hello kitty boy.”

“Shut the fuck up y/n,” Jongho hissed, hiding his coloring book in his lap, eyes darting around for anyone who was listening in. Of course your other classmates were having a field day watching the two of you interact, the lecture long forgotten though it didn’t seem like your professor noticed. They never seemed to really care after the third week.

“Chill Jongho, i’m only kidding.” You frowned down at your arm, watching as the drawing began to fade one by one. You wished you knew more about your soulmate than just his friends being obsessed with drawing dicks and him being a he.There were certain things you couldn’t share through ink on sink, such as names and locations; and so the two of you had never really shared information as simple as gender, identification, or even a nickname. Neither of you really initiated any form of talking, mainly communicating through drawings, doodles or odd questions neither knew the answer to.

“You’re worse than San I swear,” He laughed, referencing his older friend who you had met on a few occasions. “And speaking of San,” He turned to you with an eyebrow raised, “Are you going to his party tonight?”

“Do I really have a choice?”

“I mean, no, me and Yeosang would drag you there no matter your answer, but I was trying to be polite.”

“Overall, no I do not want to go. His parties are loud and overcrowded for such a small apartment.” You huffed, feeling as though your opinions would not be taken for granted.

“Yeah but here's the thing “ He gestured as if he had just connected two dots, “maybe dick boy will be there”

“Will you please not call my soulmate dick boy.” You huffed, hiding your face in embarrassment again as the person turned to look at the two of you with a curious glance.

“Only if you go to the party.”

“That’s not a good bargain.”

“Guess I’ll just call him dick boy from now on and assume anyone with a dick drawn on them is your soulmate!” Jongho announced loudly, but not enough so that your teacher turned away from their whiteboard; however, the rest of your classmates began to giggle. No doubt they had been listening in on your whole entire conversation, maybe even from the beginning itself.

“Goddammit fine I’ll go to your dumb party just shut up!” You grumbled trying to escape the embarrassment by hiding your head in your arms.

Jongho never seemed to be embarrassed though, not as he leaned back in his seat with a proud and triumphant smile, “See? That wasn’t so hard. Maybe you’ll meet dick boy tonight.”

“I fucking hate you.”

“Love you too,” You looked up to see Jongho blow you an overly flirtatious kiss, “Me and Yeosang will be at your dorm by seven.”

That is how you ended up outside your apartment at six fifty-eight dressed in a nice outfit and a frown on your face. The night was too cold for a party and perfect to stay in your bed, binging a show or catching up on sleep. You couldn’t believe that you actually agreed to the party, at least if Jongho had dragged you from your home without your consent you could be angry about it; but now you could only be annoyed at yourself.

“There’s our little ray of sunshine!” Jongho laughed as he and a stone faced Yeosang got up from their spot on the gate on the sidewalk. The both of them had cleaned up nicely; however, that still didn’t mean that San’s party wouldn’t be a mess. He was notorious for having some of the messiest, loudest, and overall drunkest parties on the entire campus. It was a surprise he hadn’t gotten in trouble yet.

“I’m not happy about this.”

“Your smile says enough about that,” Yeosang laughed as you began to walk down the street, San’s house, or rather the home they all shared, was only a block or so away.

You rolled your eyes at Yeosang’s sarcasm, “Hello to you too Yeo.”

“Oh lighten up Y/n,” Jongho wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was already buzzed, “I have a feeling dick boy will be there!”

Yeosang spit on the drink he had been sipping on at the words, “I-what!? Who?”

“My soulmate has friends who likes to draw dicks on his arms.” You scoffed, pulling up the sleeves of your jacket to reveal yet another dick drawing that was in a, thankfully, more discrete place. No doubt your soulmate hadn’t noticed it yet but you couldn’t go out anywhere decent without a jacket now; his friends words from earlier almost made you tempted to wear a ski mask. At least then no one would see the phalics drawn on your skin. “It’s really fucking annoying.”

“That’s goddamn hilarious. I need a pen immediately.” Yeosang began to rummage through his pants pockets while hearty laughter flowed from his lips.

You smacked his moving arms with annoyance written clear across your face, “Dick drawing is my soulmate’s thing! Be a little more creative would you!”

“So you like having dicks drawn on you?”

“I do not-” You groaned in annoyance at the cocky grin on Yeosang’s features, “I hate both of you.”

“Why me!? I didn’t even bring anything up!” Jongho huffed in annoyance and you were almost thankful as you came to a stop in front of San’s house, flashing lights and loud music already emitting from it.

“You’re the one who gave him that God awful nickname.” You gave both the boys on each side of you a little glare, “Now don’t you dare say anything about dick boy to Mingi or San. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“As long as the nickname sticks, I really don’t give a shit about the rules.” Jongho grinned, grabbing you by the upper arm and pulling you in the direction of the steps. “Now let’s go party!”

The party was exactly what you imagined it being. Loud, overcrowded, and entirely full of drunk college kids. You were even sure they’re were some professors in the mix; seeing as San was cozy with literally everyone on the campus. If he wanted, he could probably even get the administrators to come and dance with him. Instead, for this party, he had to settle for Yunho and Mingi; the three of them dancing their lives away to a bass heavy beat. San was lucky enough to be friends with Bang Chan, the aspiring DJ and producer, who would play parties for a little fee; even smaller for his friends.

“So any sign of dick boy? Any more genitals drawn on your arms?” The sly voice of Seonghwa said as he came into view, leaning against the counter top that you sat on top of.

You groaned and clutched the solo cup in your hand a little tighter in annoyance, “Did Jongho tell everyone?”

“Nearly, he’s kept his promise so far not to tell Mingi and San… though given how drunk Yunho is they’ll probably know by the end of the night.”

“Just fucking fantastic, the last thing I need is Mingi teasing me for all this!” You downed the rest of the contents in your cup, feeling more tired than uplifted by the alcohol.

“Don’t drink your worries away yet, Yunho hasn’t said shit to them. Besides, I’ve got some tea.” You rolled your eyes at his words as you played with the rim of your cup.

“Please never use the word tea again.”

“Guess you don’t want to know who your soulmate is than.” The simple sentence brought a panic into your bloodstream. There was no way Seonghwa could know who your soulmate was. There were billions of people in this world, there was no absolute way he could have figured it out; and certainly not from just a simple dick drawing.

You tried to steady your suddenly ragged breathing, “There's no way… just… don’t play games Seonghwa.”

“I’m not, Y/n, I wouldn’t lie about this,” He huffed, like he couldn’t believe you thought so little of him. “I really think I know who it is.”

You frowned a little more at the words, and even more as your heart began to speed up in pace. Maybe it wasn’t panic, maybe it was more excitement but all of it made you too dizzy and scared to comprehend. This was your soulmate he was talking about, this person that was tied to you forever; you didn’t know if you were even prepared for the speculations about who it would be. “Hwa, I just.. I don’t really want to know who it is.”

His eyes turned sympathetic at your conflicted features, “I won’t tell you directly than… but know he’s in the living room and has blonde hair.”

“Never really saw myself with a blonde.”

“Never really saw you with a dick drawer either, but the universe is surprising.” He chuckled and you gently hit his arm, thankful to him for trying to brighten up your panicking state.

You gave him a soft pat on his forearm and let out a quiet sigh, “Thank you Seonghwa.”

He grinned at you and patted your hand in reassurance, “No problem-”

“CHANGBIN I TOLD YOU TO FUCKING STOP YOU KNOW THIS DOESN’T JUST SHOW UP ON ME!”

The loud shouting came from the living room, where laughter and general uproar was happening. Some of the party goers, you and Seonghwa included, paused their actions to watch a figure with their hood up, obscuring their features, run through the kitchen and down the hall. Even without having seen their face, something within you tugged at your body. Something that told you Seonghwa really hadn’t been lying and that you needed to get off your ass.

“I wasn’t lying.” Seonghwa said and chuckled even more as you turned around to face him, “The dick on your forehead just proves it.”

Your eyes widened in alarm and your hands went up to cover your forehead. While you couldn’t entirely feel the drawing you knew it was there due to the newfound cold feeling of ink. This only caused the panic in you too intensify.

“Go get your man, Y/n.” Seonghwa pulled you from your spot on the counter and nudged you in the direction of the hallway, while you still covered your forehead. “At least this way you both don’t have to worry about appearances. If you can look pass the dick on your foreheads you’re golden.”

“Oh my God Seonghwa you are not helping!” you whisper screamed, but your eyes were focused on the hallway. Your soulmate was down there.

“Just go get him, Y/n. You don’t know if you’ll ever meet him again.” Seonghwa wisely told you and you nodded, trying to steel your shaking body. You hated that he was right, hated that your body moved without your thought until you were right in front of the bathroom door. You couldn’t remember how you got there, it was a blind stumble through the crowd who had resumed their partying antics.

You pressed your ear to the door, trying to both eavesdrop and calm your nerves. Hopefully whoever was behind the door wasn’t the boy, even if your soul itself wanted it to only be him. The faint cursing from the other side solidfied the fact that it was him, “Fucking Changbin… god dammit I told him not to… why won’t this come off!”

Your hand was on the doorknob in an instance and you took a deep breath as you realized what you were doing. Like Seonghwa said, it was now or never. The door creaked open, the light pouring into the dark hallway, and making the boy glaring at the mirror jump.

“Hey sorry this is occupied-” His heavily accented voice faltered as the two of you made eye contact, or more specifically, your eyes made contact with the dick drawings on each others foreheads. Even if it wasn’t for the drawings you both harbored on your foreheads, the intense feeling of belonging was enough for you too know this was real.

“So,” you breathed out, after the initial tingling feelings passed over you, “You’re dick boy.”

His face tinted red and he covered his hands with his face, “This is not at all how I wanted to meet my soulmate.”

You couldn’t help but scoff at him, but a smile was making it’s way to your lips. People hadn’t lied about the euphoric feeling rushing into your system at meeting you soulmate. “Do you think I really wanted a dick drawn on my forehead either?”

“I’m so sorry about Changbin, I can’t even apologize enough oh my god I’m so sorry I just-” He took a deep breath and finally managed to pull his head away from his hands, eyes catching on the curve of your lips. “I’m really sorry for all the dick drawings. I would’ve never done that too you… I’ll go make sure all my friends apologize to you and everything.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that flowed from your lips at his rambling. He was rather cute, you had to admit, and just maybe blondes were your type with the way his hair bounced with his every movement. “Let’s just get this one off our foreheads first, okay?”

A smile finally made its way onto his lips and you couldn’t help but be entranced, “That… that’s sounds good.”

You nodded and grabbed one of the towels lying around, noticing the one the boy in front of you had drenched in water discarded in the sink, before lathering yours with soap and water. The boy just watched you work quietly before you turned to him again, the proximity close, and he wished that he didn’t have a dick drawn on his forehead in this picture perfect moment.

“Your friends really did a good job on this one,” Your voice was quiet as you pushed aside his hair, noticing how red his forehead was from his frantic scrubbing. Still a majority of the drawing still remained, “What the hell did they use.”

“Seungmin made a custom stamp,” he mumbled, staring at your eyes as they focused in on gently scrubbing his forehead, “Semi permanent ink and everything… that’s what they used on me this morning.”

“Well… I’ll give them props for dedication.” You hummed, holding the side of his face with your hand as you worked, missing how his face turned scarlet. “You might want to be a little more careful around your friends.”

“Trust me I tried, they just sneak up on me.” He sighed as you let go off his face, pulling back slightly to examine your work. There was little of the drawing left, nothing no one would notice at first glance. Your eyes trailed down to meet the boys in front of you and you had to stop yourself from gasping at the sparkling of them, and the proximity. “It’s what happened tonight. I was just lying on the couch and then bam… Changbin stamped my forehead.”

“I’ll be sure to give Changbin hell than,” You mumbled still caught up in his features, now transfixed on the lovely freckles dotting his cheeks and nose. The universe had been exceptionally kind to gift you with such a handsome soulmate.

“What’s your name?” His breath fanned against your nose and broke you from your staring.

“Y/n…” You muttered before looking back up at his eyes, not missing the cheeky gleam in them, “and you?”

“Felix.” He grinned down at you and in that moment you truly felt happy, in a way that was wholly unexplainable to any other person. No one who just met should make you fill with joy the way that Felix did, but the universe worked in funny ways.

“Well,” You started, cupping his cheek in your hand once again as you took in his features. You already knew you would never get tired of them, “I’m glad I have something other to call you than dick boy.”

He laughed, whole and hearty at your response, before taking his own leap of faith and leaning his forehead against yours. “You’re still going to call me that… aren’t you.”

“Oh totally.” You grinned, mentally thanking this Changbin for being so extreme with his dick drawing.

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argylemnwrites · 4 years

Text

10 Things I Hate About You OTP Asks - Bryce and Cassie

Alright, no one asked for this, but since I’ve been neglectful of Bryce fic as of late, and @omgjasminesimone put together this fun list, I thought I should do some OTP questions for my Open Heart couple. I’ve never done any OTP questions for these two, so this should be fun!

1. What’s the stupidest fight they’ve ever had? How did they resolve it?

Bryce and Cassie don’t really fight a lot. Both learned during medical school that it’s better to own up to your mistakes than to double down. However, they have a strong difference of opinion about the moral acceptability of the use of the Dubin EKG book for learning and teaching others. Cassie is horrified when they move in together and Bryce as a copy of the Dubin book, particularly when he tells her he is well aware of Dubin’s crimes. Bryce feels that since he bought the book second hand and Dubin didn’t get any royalties from the purchase, he is in the clear. Plus, he insists that book is the only reason he’s actually comfortable reading EKGs, unlike a lot of the surgical residents. Cassie doesn’t want it under her roof, though, so Bryce gives it to a medical student and Cassie agrees to never give Bryce shit if he consults the medicine team for EKG help.

2. Have they ever made each other cry? How did the one responsible make it up to their partner?

Cassie cries early in their second year of residency over Bryce. Her best friend from undergrad got engaged to a guy she started dating only a couple of months before she and Bryce started hooking up, and Bryce and her aren’t even officially boyfriend/girlfriend, and it just hurts her. But Aurora is the only one who sees her crying, and she doesn’t meddle, just sits with her on the couch, so Bryce never learns that this happened.

After Bryce finishes up residency, and they move to North Carolina for his fellowship, they go through a pretty rough patch where both Bryce and Cassie make each other cry for a variety of reasons. They both view their marriage as worth saving though, so they prioritize seeing a counselor together, and they are able to work through their struggles.

3. What are their most annoying habits, and how does their partner deal?

Bryce is constantly futzing with things, always keeping his hands moving, and often practicing different ties and stitches. When they are watching a movie or TV or something like that, Cassie can get irritated by this, but after a while she grew used to it enough that it doesn’t really bother her.

Cassie is a chronic sigher. She lets them out all the time, for anything from minor to major problems, often without even realizing she’s doing so. In the early days of their friendship/hook ups, Bryce was constantly asking her what was wrong, only for her to reply “Nothing,” leaving Bryce feeling like he was supposed to be a mind reader. Eventually, they work out a system where if Cassie makes a comment or a complaint after a sigh, Bryce will know she wants to talk about something. If she doesn’t, she’s probably sighing over nothing, and Bryce can ignore it.

4. Which one is the messiest? And how annoyed does their partner get with them about it?

They both tend towards some clutter and mess, particularly with the hours they work, but it bothers Bryce more than Cassie. Bryce suggests hiring a cleaning service, as he’s very used to that, but Cassie resists, feeling weird about a stranger coming into their home. However, when she gets hired as an attending at Edenbrook, she joins their female physician mentorship program, and the anesthesiology attending she gets paired with tells her that she needs to outsource as much of the “home labor” as possible, particularly since Bryce is no longer on his research years and therefore more able to pick up the slack around the loft. “Your marriage, your career, or total control over household chores - you only get to pick two,” got burned into Cassie’s brain, and they hired a cleaning service to start the next week.

5. Which one made a terrible first impression on their partner’s family? What did they do?!

Bryce’s parents do not like Cassie. They have themselves convinced that she’s poisoned Bryce against them, even though she cuts them way more slack than Bryce does. Quite frankly, they so rarely see each other that Cassie just kind of grins and bears it. Bryce and his parents being in the same room is always a shit show, so their dislike of her is quite a small issue in the grand scheme of things.

6. Who’s the responsible one in charge of the bills and such? How frustrated do they get when they see their partner’s latest ridiculous credit card purchase?

Bryce handles the finances at first. He’s on his research years when they first move in together, so he has a more flexible schedule. Bryce is more of a penny pincher than Cassie. Since he cut himself off from his parents, he’s learned the value of a dollar the hard way, and he never wants to be in the position where he has to ask his parents for money. Cassie grew up middle class, and paid for her education via a combination of scholarships, loans, and help from her parents. As soon as she starts making attending money, she can’t help but splurge. Nicer clothes, fancy new electronics, higher quality wine and booze around the loft, etc. It drives Bryce a little crazy, but he feels he can’t say anything, since she’s making about three times as much money as him. But at a certain point, he starts questioning her spending. Cassie is not pleased, to say the least, but they decide to resolve this by having Cassie take over the finances. Her schedule is more flexible than Bryce’s at that point, and Bryce is then able to adopt an ignorance is bliss attitude since he doesn’t see the credit card statements.

7. What was their most terrible date? And what convinced them to keep dating after such a fiasco?

Bryce took Cassie to a new comedy club, but the comedians there that night tended towards a lot of “edgy” humor that was decently racist and sexist. The type of humor that definitely gives you the vibe that the comedians themselves are fairly racist and sexist, and are just using the “lighten up, it’s just a joke” excuse. The fact that neither Bryce nor Cassie is laughing is enough to reassure the other. They get out of there and head to a nearby pub for some late night snacks and drinks when the third comedian up is more of the same.

8. Most annoying habit in bed? Blanket hog? Snorer? (Something more ns*w? 😂)

Cassie is a blanket hog for sure, but both get annoyed by their conflicting schedules and alarms that go off at weird times more than anything else.

9. Have they ever given each other an ultimatum?

Cassie gave herself one during the rough patch. She essentially offered up agreeing to an ultimatum. Bryce was grateful, as he would have felt like a dick asking her, but since she suggested it, he took her up on it. The fact that it came from her probably saved their marriage.

10. What’s something one of them loves that the other absolutely loathes?

Bryce loves rock climbing, and is always trying to get Cassie to join him, but she tried it once and hated it. When they go on vacation, if it’s somewhere with good rock climbing, they spend one day apart, with Bryce climbing to his heart’s content while Cassie relaxes in a hammock or chaise lounge, reading something for fun.

#meet my otp

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ayellowcurtain · 5 years

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Lucas and Eliott don’t know each other, but they’re at the same party. Lucas gets into a fight with some guy that said something about his mother being “crazy” and Lucas is a small baby so no one expects it when he starts hitting and punching that guy(and winning that fight because he can kill someone when he’s angry) so everyone is kind of shook and don’t do anything but Eliott sees this and separates them and talks to Lucas and all that. A really fluffy ending when he helps Lucas to calm down

Hope you’re ready for a long ride, anon. And this also has a special request from someone <3

-----------------------------------------

This was supposed to be how he made himself not fall in love, just have sex with someone he wanted. Eliott wanted a girl that was out of his league and so he asked her little brother for help.

And that’s fucked up, Eliott knows, but Lucas agreed to it and they made a deal.

At the time, it seemed so stupid to have a “clause” forbidding them to actual kiss or have any kind of relationship, but he needed the help so he accepted. Lucas is not his type. He’s one, almost two years younger and he’s Lucille’s little brother, of course, they would never, ever have anything.

How he ended up like this is a mystery. Avoiding Lucas’ messages and phone calls, drinking to forget how attached they became.

In a matter of months, Lucas went from an annoying fuckboy from school/stranger to his sort of best friend, the person Eliott enjoys to be around the most. At the start they had goals, deadlines to reach and Lucas even made a mood board and sent a picture to Eliott one late night. So fucking stupid and annoying, but Eliott remembers laughing and texting Lucas and they talked for almost an hour that night.

Eliott and Lucille have a bunch of classes together, they sit together in every single one, but she’s too pure, too nice for him. He’s messy and all over the place, never paying attention to the class and she smiles at him and says she’ll give her notes for him to copy. And that’s the perfect girl for him, maybe she could teach him her ways to be nice and cute and present in the moment. They would make a good couple.

Somewhere in the middle, Eliott lost sight of what he wanted. One day he just didn’t care about her or being with her. He didn’t say it to Lucas because it wasn’t a big deal for him to get Lucas and his friends inside the best parties. It was a small price he had to pay for all of Lucas’ work with Lucille. That way they would have more time together as well.

Usually, they’ll meet late at night at the door on their way out of parties.

Most of the nights, Lucas will be looking like he just had some good sex hiding in a strangers’ bedroom. And Eliott wouldn’t because he was still playing the “I’m a good guy/I don’t have sex with just anyone” card to Lucille and indirectly to Lucas too.

This was the final weekend of their original plan. Everything would lead up to this night. Eliott coming to the Lallemant’s house with Lucille at the end of the night, but nothing went as planned.

Lucille went somewhere with some friends. She looked one second too long at him when saying goodbye like she expected him to stop her and Eliott didn’t even try, he didn’t really care.

He met Lucas’ eyes through the crowd and he could see the other one frowning and mouthing a “what the fuck?” that he ignored, turning his back to Lucas, continuing to drink to forget how he managed to mess everything up.

At some point, he could see all his friends’ attention turning back to the party that was happening behind them. The music suddenly stopped and Sofiane was rushing, passing by him and Eliott followed his friend with his eyes, finally understanding what was going on.

The crowd turned the improvised dance floor into bleachers, watching as Lucas screamed at a guy’s face, Eliott didn’t recognize him, but the guy probably said something bad and Lucas wasted no time punching him right in the face. The other one lost balance with the first punch and Lucas went after him, punching his face again and again and again.

Sofiane got to the fight before Lucas could throw the fifth punch, struggling to keep Lucas away from the guy. The stranger’s left eye was swollen and he had blood all over his face. Eliott rushed there just in time to hold Lucas. He got rid of Sofiane and was trying to throw more punches, but Eliott managed to hold him from behind, keeping his arms down, lifting him off the floor and walking out of the party with a restless Lucas is his arms, cursing and demanding to go back inside.

Eliott continued to walk down the street holding Lucas just a few centimeters off the ground until he was quiet for once and not moving his legs around.

Once walking with his own legs again, Lucas was suddenly quiet, walking by Eliott’s side, holding his hand inside the other. It’s not a common thing to see Lucas getting into fights and Eliott knows him by now, after months hanging out with the boy. There’s only one thing that would make him do it, one subject that Lucas avoids talking about at all costs.

It’s been fifteen minutes, walking to the house and Lucas is still on edge even though he’s quiet, you can feel his energy just by standing next to him.

The anger dissipated during their silent walk and now it’s just this weird…atmosphere between them and it’s not new. It started almost a month ago when Eliott ended up sleeping at Lucas’ house. He was drunk and Lucille took him home with her, but she wouldn’t let him sleep with her, so Lucas had to share his bed.

He kept teasing drunk-Eliott about Lucille not wanting him around her and Eliott just shushed him, hugging him by the waist, nuzzling against his neck. And Lucas just let him and ever since then they have these weird moments of silence or awkwardness that they never addressed.

Eliott doesn’t know why, but he wants to kiss Lucas so badly. He knows it’s just a crazy thought crossing his mind after a crazy night, he can’t do that. Stop the guy in the middle of the street to make out.

At the start, this was the weekend because Lucas’ parents always go on a romantic trip after Christmas and so the house would be empty for Eliott and Lucille.

Now he’s trying to open the door with Lucas’ keys, Eliott doesn’t even know where Lucille is. One of Lucas’ hands is still bloody and bruised and Lucas in pain becomes a little baby. The house is completely dark and Lucas doesn’t turn the light on when he comes in, waiting for Eliott to close and lock the door and turn to him.

It’s not like Eliott doesn’t want it, but he’s taken by surprise when Lucas comes closer, pulling him into a kiss. They stumble around the hall until Eliott almost trips on the stairs, holding Lucas tighter by his waist. The boy trips, but manages to go up the first step, so they’re the same height and the kiss fits perfectly.

Lucas stops it to breathe for a second, still close enough that Eliott can feel when he smiles, but he can’t see.

Eliott bites Lucas’ lower lip and kisses him again. It’s the messiest kiss that he ever had, but it’s also the best. Eliott doesn’t want it to end. They can walk and kiss, no need to stop on their way to Lucas’ bedroom. He presses Lucas against the wall while walking upstairs, wrapping both arms around Lucas’ waist so they’re the same height again and Eliott can get him off the floor, it’s easier to walk this way.

As soon as they’re on the second floor, Eliott puts Lucas on the floor again and Lucas puts both hands on his cheeks, breaking the kiss every few seconds to smile, leading the way down the hall.

The kiss heats up again when Lucas pushes him against his bedroom door, sucking his lower lip and Eliott holds the back of his neck with one hand, pressing his fingers to get Lucas closer, to deepen the kiss. He holds back the temptation to reach just a little higher and hold Lucas’ hair, but he doesn’t, maybe Lucas wouldn’t like it. Just the thought makes him slow down and almost stop the kiss again. He shouldn’t be wondering if Lucas likes if people hold his hair.

Lucas grinds against his thigh, getting on his tiptoes to continue guiding Eliott inside his bedroom. Eliott is saved at the last second he could before getting trapped inside the room. His phone starts vibrating right against his ass and he jolts on his feet, accidentally coming closer to Lucas. Eliott grabs his phone with one hand, putting it up to see who’s the asshole bothering him at this hour.

The name and picture on the screen make him stop immediately, slowly sliding his hand from Lucas’ neck to his chest, pushing him quietly against the wall and Lucas whines with the lack of touch, eating Eliott with his eyes.

“Putain, it’s your sister.” Lucille is making a video call and Lucas still has a smirk at the corner of his lips. He tries to come closer again and kiss Eliott, but he holds Lucas in place, against the wall.

And he accepts the call like the fucking dumbass that he is. His brain is shorted and she appears on his screen.

“Eliott! Where’s Lucas? Yann told me you left with him!” She seems calmer as soon as she sees him, but it takes a second for her to realize his surrounding. “Where are you?”

Lucas puts his hand on top of Eliott’s on his chest to make him pay attention to the conversation and answer, he was just staring at Lucas, trying to think on what to say. Eliott swallows hard before answering.

“I’m at your place. He’s...here.” Lucas finally relaxes against the wall again and Eliott softness his grip on Lucas’ shirt. Thankfully, the lights are off or she would suspect something, noticing his swollen lips and messy hair and she would see that he can’t stop looking at something behind his phone.

“Oh, thank God! I’ll be there in ten minutes, just-”

“No! No...no need to hurry. He’s still...upset, but he’s taking a shower now, I’ll stay until he’s in his bed, I promise. Take your time…”

Lucas raises his eyebrows with the suggestion of a shower, and Eliott presses his hand against his chest again, trying to look threatening enough so Lucas won’t say a word right now.

“O-ok...I’ll just grab my things and say goodbye to the girls and I’m on my way. And thank you, for helping him.” Lucille doesn’t seem to like his tone, but she decides to ignore it, Eliott can see her walking already, probably grabbing her things.

“No problem…” He finally hangs up without saying goodbye and as soon as his phone is down again, Lucas comes closer, holding his hand, kissing him and it takes all his will power to stop it, resting his forehead against Lucas.

“We have time…” Lucas whispers and Eliott groans with his soft, passive voice. There’s no way they’re having sex while Lucille is on her way home to check on her angry little brother hanging out with one of her friends, that’s also a guy. Eliott is not sure if she knows about Lucas or if she even cares. He’s a fuckboy, the entire school knows it, but Lucas is too smart to get caught in the act.

“No, Lucas…” He whines as Lucas starts kissing his neck, leaving little love bites on his way down to the collarbone. “I have to go. She’ll be here soon.”

“So what? There’s a thing called door that I can lock.” Eliott laughs, Lucas is such a fucking tease.

“No. I’m leaving. Don’t think that I forgot about you punching that guy.” He tries to continue with the light mood of the conversation, but his comment doesn’t sit well with Lucas. He steps back and doesn’t seem interested in continuing whatever they were doing a second ago.

“He deserved every single one.” Eliott stops himself from calling Lucas “baby” and also from pulling him closer to make him forget about it again. It wasn’t his intention to make Lucas mad.

“Why are you picking fights now? You can’t go punching people because they’re mean and say stupid shit they know nothing about. He was an asshole and he deserved, but you...can’t hurt yourself.” Eliott looks at him in the eyes and he sees Lucas’ eyes softening again, coming closer and opening his arm like he’s showing himself.

Lucas is not too tall, but he’s definitely fit, not too muscular, no matter where you touch him, you can only feel strong muscles, there’s nothing out of place in his body.

“Does it look like I got hurt?” He asks Eliott and he shakes his head, smiling to himself more than to Lucas.

“No, asshole, but let’s not risk it, yeah?” He moves away this time, turning his back to Lucas, needing to breathe some fresh air that is not coming straight out of Lucas’ soft lips. “I’m going home.” Eliott needs to get out of there before it’s too late and Lucas manages to enchant him to stay with him.

“Please, Eliott!” Lucas begs with a soft voice again, hugging him from behind, wrapping both arms around his neck, burying his face again his nape and Eliott holds his breath. He can feel Lucas’ puppy-eyes staring at him and he can see his bloody hand holding Eliott tight around the chest. Lucas buries his nose even more against his skin, taking a deep breath.

“Let me help you clean this hand and then we’ll talk.” Lucas smiles and kisses the back of his neck, letting go of him. Eliott knows as soon as he says it that he’s not leaving tonight.

Lucas’ bedroom is the very last in the house, at the attic and right outside his bedroom, there’s an old bathroom that only he uses. They’re safe up here, but Eliott keeps checking the stairs as he helps Lucas wash his hands. The other one keeps teasing him, playing with his hands underwater and Eliott rolls his eyes, still trying to calm his heart from beating so fast for this kid.

Lucas takes the time to wash his face as well and Eliott grabs the towel to dry his hands, waiting for Lucas so he can do the same with him. Lucas pulls him down for another kiss while they walk back to the bedroom and Lucas locks the door.

They stop kissing so Lucas can take his clothes off, it feels like he’s doing his nighttime routine and Eliott is just watching, not daring to take one piece of clothing off and Lucas raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t complain, holding Eliott’s shirt as he lies down and makes Eliott do the same.

#skam france #elu fic #eliott demaury #Lucas Lallemant #elu

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ourimpavidheroine · 4 years

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I just noticed the ask thing. How about Wei and Sitiak SFW 11 and 13 and NSFW 9 and 11. And if you have time/are putting something off then what about Meili and Tupilek (or all the Wuko kid couples if you REALLY have time haha) SFW 2, 12, 13 and NSFW 1, 2, and 4.

I like how you KNOW I have time/am putting something off.

This got super long so it is under a cut!

Wei and Sitiak

Baths or showers? Together or separate? Any bubbles or bubble fights?

Wei is more of a shower kind of guy. He doesn’t really enjoy lounging for lounging’s sake - he likes to think (think being the keyword here) that he’s getting shit done and baths aren’t really getting shit done, are they? Sitiak, on the other hand, will happily lounge in the tub for hours. They will shower together, sure, although usually Wei is ready to get out long before Sitiak is. Bubbles are not really Sitiak’s thing and in any case, Wei is not going to have a bubble fight with a waterbender because Wei does not like to lose at anything, and that’s just asking to get your ass beat.

Who stays up late? Who sleeps the most? Does the other have to force them to sleep/wake up?

Wei is a fairly nocturnal guy and always has been - it wasn’t just a party thing. Sitiak is one of those people that needs his eight hours a night (at the minimum) and if he’s on call this can get interrupted and he can get pretty damn grumpy over it. Wei has been known to kick his grumpy ass into bed because who wants to deal with a 6′6″ grumpy waterbender? (Nobody, that’s who.)

Quickest turn ons? Immediate turn offs?

Wei loves to play with Sitiak’s hair and Sitiak loves to have his hair played with. It works for both of them. In terms of turn offs, Sitiak is not competitive by nature, not like Wei is, and while competing gets Wei’s motor running, it is a turn off for Sitiak. So it works for them if Wei wins a pro-bending game, for example, but not at all if Wei is bored and getting belligerent and trying to compete with Sitiak, who will shut that shit down.

Favourite romantic gestures during sex/orgasm?

Sitiak will hold eye contact with Wei when he orgasms and smiles every time, regardless of what they’ve been doing up until then and Wei looks for it every time they have sex. Wei likes to tuck his head into the crook of Sitiak’s neck; when that happens, Sitiak knows it means Wei is letting go and trusting him and it never gets old for him. Never.

Meili and Tupilek

Who’s the messiest? The cleanest?

Both of them are very tidy people, although Meili loathes actual cleaning with the fire of a thousand suns. Tupilek actually likes cleaning. He finds a lot of satisfaction in sorting out messes and cleaning them up on all levels.

Can they stand silence? Who talks the most? Who talks the least?

Both of them are okay with silence, although not the hostile kind. Tupilek is more of a chatter than Meili is; he’s an extrovert to her introvert and enjoys outside contact. (He’s one of those people who seems to know and greet everyone by name - the fishmonger, the delivery kids, the neighbors, the groundskeepers at the park, all the folks at the local pub or at the marina, etc. He will quite literally talk to anybody.) Meili, by the time she leaves the clinic every day, is completely tapped out and needs to go home to silence and reboot. Tupilek lets her; he doesn’t rely on her for social contact.

Who stays up late? Who sleeps the most? Does the other have to force them to sleep/wake up?

Meili has always suffered from insomnia, ever since she was a small girl. Tupilek, on the other hand, is one of those people that pretty much falls asleep immediately and sleeps without any issues. (She hates him, just a little, for this.) Tupilek got a recipe for tea from Auntie LiLing that she always used to help Grandma Yin sleep and he usually makes her a cup every night.

How often do they have sex, if at all?

Pretty regularly. They have a healthy sex life, although when the children are small it does tend to get put on the back burner every once in awhile, like these things do.

Who brings ideas? Who initiates?

Tupilek, almost always. It isn’t because Meili is somehow reluctant. She just gets caught up in things and doesn’t stop to take care of herself or put herself first.

Oddest place they’d have sex?

Eh, they are not particularly adventuresome that way. A few times messing around at the clinic after hours but for the most part they are both in the privacy of our own bedroom kind of people.

Naoki and Sozui

Who’s the messiest? The cleanest?

Doesn’t really apply. Neither one of them will ever live anywhere where there is not staff cleaning up after them. In any case, both of them are fairly neutral about this kind of thing - they aren’t particularly messy or clean.

Can they stand silence? Who talks the most? Who talks the least?

Both of them loathe silence. The Silent Treatment is absolutely a way they have of being nasty and rude to each other. They are pretty much even with each other in terms of who talks and who doesn’t, although neither one of them is a chatterer, that is for damn sure.

Who stays up late? Who sleeps the most? Does the other have to force them to sleep/wake up?

Naoki is and has always been an incredibly sound sleeper. Her family always joked that you could have a brass band playing in her bedroom and she’d sleep right through it. She wakes up without an issue, however. Sozui usually needs some time to wind down at night and then wind back up in the morning, although he can, if necessary, forgo tea to get moving in the morning. Both of them are smart enough to know that they need to be well-rested in order to fulfill their duties at court and/or work and for the most part they make sure that happens.

How often do they have sex, if at all?

A LOT. They have a very active and healthy sex life. They never slow down with this. In fact, it is pretty obvious to anyone really looking that these two turn each other on on a regular basis.

Who brings ideas? Who initiates?

Both of them, pretty equally. And they aren’t shy about trying new things, either. In fact they love to spice things up.

Oddest place they’d have sex?

More like where wouldn’t they have sex, if we’re getting right down to it. The idea that someone might walk in on them adds to it for both of them. (It’s happened, and more than once.)

Zhi and Ping

Who’s the messiest? The cleanest?

Zhi is very organized and very tidy. He does not like a mess - it distracts him too much. Ping grew up as a nomad in a tent with practically no belongings and living in an actual house with Zhi where they have so many things is disconcerting for him and he doesn’t quite know how to handle it. He is never comfortable with maids doing the cleaning. He puts up with it because he understands that it is the way Zhi and his family live, but he never likes it.

Can they stand silence? Who talks the most? Who talks the least?

Oh, Zhi is the chatterer. He never shuts up. Ping is a very quiet man by nature but he quite genuinely loves to listen to Zhi talk, and will happily do so for hours on end. They suit each other very well.

Who stays up late? Who sleeps the most? Does the other have to force them to sleep/wake up?

Zhi, if he is in the middle of something, is very reluctant to leave it and has to be persuaded/cajoled/bullied into bed. He’s a very light sleeper, easily woken, and so needs dark and quiet to sleep in. Otherwise, he’s an early to bed and early to rise kind of person. Ping, on the other hand, is used to sleeping during the hottest parts of the desert day, and it always takes him awhile to acclimate to city living. He doesn’t like it. People should nap during the day; all of this sleep all night stuff is just foolish, insofar as he is concerned.

How often do they have sex, if at all?

They have a healthy, regular sex life. Since they never have children, there’s nothing to really get in the way of that. Ping nopes right the fuck out of having sex under the same roof as Zhi’s parents, however. (Which is fairly funny, considering that as a desert nomad, he’s used to people politely ignoring what’s going on in the tent next door.) Once he and Zhi are set up in the flat above the garage and later in their own wing of Madame Zong’s old house then it’s fine.

Who brings ideas? Who initiates?

At first it is only Ping; Zhi is far too shy and nervous about the whole thing. It still tends to be Ping a lot mostly out of habit, but when Zhi does initiate Ping is beyond delighted. Ping is the top and Zhi is the bottom and they do not vary this. Oddest place they’d have sex?

Oh, they both enjoy outdoor sex. Watching Zhi climb is a huge turn on for Ping and uh...things happen. (Which is why eventually Ping takes over babysitting Zhi climbing from San, because after about the third time San interrupted them Amak took him aside and told him PING WILL TAKE CARE OF HIM, NOW LEAVE THEM BE.)

Sayuri and Zu

Who’s the messiest? The cleanest?

Oh my god.

Can they stand silence? Who talks the most? Who talks the least?

Neither one of them ever shuts up. Ever. They talk all over each other on a regular basis and never seem to mind, either. Add Wu to the mix in the morning and it’s beyond noise, really. (Sometimes Mako has to take his tea and escape because as much as he loves them, he just.can’t.take.it.)

Who stays up late? Who sleeps the most? Does the other have to force them to sleep/wake up?

Sayuri is one of those people who genuinely only need about 3-4 hours of sleep at most. She wakes up alert and rested and ready to tackle the day even if she’s only slept four hours. (Qi, who is the same way, let her do what she was going to do even when she was a child. Her son Radiant will be the same way, as will the Progeny granddaughter, Zetian.) Zu, on the other hand, needs his eight hours at minimum and is slow to wake up in the morning. He will sleep in whenever given the chance. Like his father-in-law, he needs his tea to really get moving. (However, he can still keep talking, even when half-asleep.)

How often do they have sex, if at all?

It really depends. They both enjoy sex and enjoy it with each other, but both of them can get deeply involved in their own projects and just sort of forget about it until the projects are completed. So there are times when it is happening every night (and possibly even more than once) and then times when there’s a three month or even longer hiatus. It’s always erratic, but not because of anything they are consciously doing.

Who brings ideas? Who initiates?

Oh, both of them are quite comfortable with this. Neither one of them has any particular hangups. They aren’t necessarily adventurous when it comes to sex but they’ll give pretty much anything a whirl for research’s sake, if nothing else.

Oddest place they’d have sex?

Eh, you know. They wouldn’t go out of their way to have sex in a weird place but if it happened then it happened. (They both have some impulse control issues.) However, the family knows to ALWAYS knock on the doors to Sayuri’s workroom and Zhi’s office because you never know and quite frankly you don’t WANT to know.

#meme #my fanfiction #long post #queeniedear

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dawnover-dusk · 5 years

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like water, like air (breathe)

summary: all you know is that every time you surface, you inevitably sink again. but jeonghan is like air, and you’re afraid that once he leaves, you won’t survive in water anymore.

resident psychiatrist jeonghan x resident internist reader

At every step, you felt like you were drowning. After four years, you thought that you could finally break through the currents and let air fill your starved lungs, but relief, like it always was, was temporary. One month later, the waves magnified and crashed over you again, and you could barely remember what it felt like to be able to breathe.

So when you introduced yourself to the senior residents on your new team, you had to stifle a gasp at the picturesque man who occupied the seat next to yours, his hand outstretched with a lazy grin. He wore a billowy button-down shirt with red and white pinstripes tucked into black slacks, the top button undone to expose the expanse of his neck and hint at defined clavicles.

“Jeonghan,” he stated, platinum blonde hair framing his hooded eyes. “I look forward to working with you.”

“Likewise,” you muttered, your hand grasping his delicately. You busied yourself with grabbing your list from the printer and trying to clear your mind of unnecessary thoughts, most of which were surrounding your fellow intern lazily running his long fingers over his own patient list.

“Just to warn you,” Seungcheol, your senior resident, began, “the attending on service is a bit of a hardass. Really nitpicky, so be thorough when presenting admissions.” He had swiveled around in his chair to address the two of you, and you could see the faint dark circles outlining his otherwise warm eyes. He glanced at you for a moment before breaking out into a gummy smile, “Don’t look so worried, though. This dude graduated a month ago so he’s only been an attending for like, two seconds. We’ve got your back.”

Jihoon, the other senior resident, ceased his endless typing to let out a grunt. “I’ve seen him make interns cry. It’s so unnecessary,” he gruffly agreed.

“That’s not very impressive,” you shrugged. “Scrub techs made me cry in medical school, it’s not really a feat.”

Jihoon had resumed typing in his orders, but you could see him raise an eyebrow. “You know, it’s not very common to just blatantly admit your weaknesses to people when you first meet them.”

“We’re only together for a month,” you smiled. “I thought we could speed up the ‘getting to know each other’ process.” You could hear Jeonghan’s tinkling laughter beside you, and you turned to face your computer to ignore the heat that rose to your cheeks from the sound.

However, you couldn’t ignore the sky blue post-it that made its way to your keyboard. You glanced at your neighbor out of the corner of your eye, but Jeonghan was diligently writing down lab values, his lips ever so slightly parted.

Shua made me promise to look out for his “crybaby,” but he didn’t tell me that you were so pretty :) I always keep my promises, so don’t worry!

You snatched the post-it, along with your list, and with a quick “I’m going to pre-round now bye!” you were out the door, missing the upward curl of Jeonghan’s lips.

---

me [7:01 AM]: JOSHUA HONG me [7:01 AM]: how dare u gossip about me to our peers me [7:02 AM]: it’s so embarrassing me [7:02 AM]: also why is ur friend flirting with me

joshuji [7:05 AM]: can you, like, not??? i was trying to use the interpreting service and your texts kept buzzing my phone joshuji [7:05 AM]: don’t you have patients to see too

me [7:05 AM]: sending image

joshuji [7:07 AM]: big yike joshuji [7:07 AM]: this is so out of character for him? he was actually really shy and nervous in medical school. idk maybe you are pretty go get it ;)

me [8:00 AM]: i was so horrified that i did not regain the ability to type until now. get what, exactly? me [8:00 AM]: also i know that i’m not your type but MAYBE?? me [8:01 AM]: rude. i retroactively retract all my “you look so nice today” statements

joshuji [8:03 AM]: fine. you’re pretty for a crybaby joshuji [8:03 AM]: lunch in the lounge at 1?

me [8:05 AM]: ofc. my few constants in life – complaining in the lounge and getting sassed by you. wouldn’t miss it

---

You would be impressed that you had lasted a whole week if you weren’t busy trying to disguise the familiar stinging set behind your eyes. The workroom felt stuffier than usual, with the addition of two eager medical students in the corner and the attending in the center, his unrelenting gaze on you. After fumbling with finding what the initial vital signs in the ED were and when the last albuterol dose was given, your panic had risen to the point where your mind was wiped clean. And of course, that was when he had asked you to give a differential diagnosis.

You were never so grateful for the hierarchy established than you were at that moment. Seungkwan and Chan did well in filling in different etiologies for respiratory distress, and you made a note to give them positive feedback at the end of the day. However, it was your turn to give the leading diagnosis, and Seungcheol and Jihoon glaring daggers at the attending’s back did little to ease your anxiety.

You felt a light touch at your elbow and a pen clatter to the floor beside you. Jeonghan leaned over and whispered, the sound disguised as a cough as he swooped down to pick up the pen. Fighting off the embarrassment, you held onto this shred of information that Jeonghan had slipped you like a buoy, only letting out a deep exhale when the attending nodded in satisfaction and left to see the patients.

“Excuse me,” you whispered as you stood up, hurriedly opening and slamming the door to the workroom behind your retreating figure. You escaped to the nearby call room, empty and dark in the day time, and tried to catch your breath on one of the threadbare mattresses.

Seungcheol gave an imperceptible nod to Jeonghan as he also stood up. “Well, I’m going to grab coffee, anyone want anything?”

Jihoon called out, “A coke, please,” before his deep voice grumbled at the students to go write their notes. Seungkwan and Chan immediately turned to their own computers to avoid Jihoon’s indifferent stare, while Seungcheol rolled his eyes and complimented them on their presentations.

In the call room, you heard a light knock before a series of electronic beeps on the door’s keypad. The handle turned softly and you turned your head to see Jeonghan’s silhouette bathed by the fluorescent lights of the hallway. He stepped inside and let the door close behind him, the room again falling back into the darkness.

You kept your face in your hands as you hastily tried to wipe away your tears. The mattress dipped beside you as Jeonghan sat down, his hands clasped in his lap.

“Thank you,” you said, your voice uneven. You tried to take a breath, but you ended up shuddering instead. “This is so embarrassing. This has happened to me so many times, but I still don’t know what’s wrong with me, why I can’t get over it—”

“It’s okay if you can’t,” Jeonghan interrupted, placing a hand on your shoulder. “That’s what people always say, that you’ll get used to it, but I don’t think it’s something that you should get used to. I’ve only worked with you for a week but you’re so smart, and kind, and your patients love you. Even the med students like you, they’re always clamoring over themselves to impress you.”

You let out a chuckle at the memory of Seungkwan and Chan both trying to get you to review their notes as Jeonghan sat in his corner, pretend-glaring at Chan.

“Can I hug you?” Jeonghan asked, and you nodded. You felt his arms wrap around your shoulders as he pulled you against him, hands rubbing circles on your back. You could hear the steady beating of his heart and the faint smell of his cologne, and it surprised you how comfortable you felt wrapped in the warmth of his body.

“Thank you, Hannie,” you mumbled, your arms wrapping around his waist to give a quick squeeze before pulling back.

“Hannie?” he asked, his cheeks flushing a rosy hue.

“Oh, sorry, Joshua always calls you that—”

“No, I like it when you call me that,” he mumbled, his eyes lighting up despite the darkness of the room. “It totally beats the ‘Yoon Jeonghan (Intern)’ that you have me saved as in your phone.”

“Oh my God,” you laughed, pushing him lightly before getting up. “As if you don’t have me saved as the same thing.”

“No, you’re ‘Pretty Crybaby’ with a bottle emoji next to it.”

You stared at him, horrified, and hit his shoulder. “You have to change it!”

“Only if you change me to ‘Hannie”, he grinned, his pinky outstretched. You rolled your eyes and linked your pinky with his.

That night, you dreamed of the deep, open sea, but rays of light broke through the water like slender fingers guiding you towards the surface.

---

“I’ve missed you,” Jeonghan pouted, handing you a can of coffee from the refrigerator. You finished gathering your hair up into the messiest of ponytails and grabbed the can, smiling reflexively when your fingertips lingered on his. You stood in front of him in old scrubs and sneakers, devoid of makeup and tired, and you marveled at how he could still flirt with you.

“You won’t be saying that after our 24-hour shift together this weekend,” you pointed out.

“It’ll be like a sleepover, I’m so excited,” he deadpanned, and you both laughed at his tone of voice. “But really, handling the kids on my own is so tiresome.”

“You basically adopted Chan on the third day.”

“Okay, handling Seungkwan on my own is so tiresome.”

The two students bounded through the door of the lounge, as if on cue. They left their backpacks in the corner and beamed at you as you handed them printed lists.

“Time for sign-out, Dr. Boo, Dr. Lee,” you grinned, ruffling Seungkwan and Chan’s hair. “Pay attention, Dr. Yoon,” you giggled, ducking down to avoid Jeonghan’s hand aimed at your head.

---

kwan [3:10 PM]: when will they let us leave?? I need to study kwan [3:12 PM]: and it’s so boring with only jeonghan to bother kwan [3:12 PM]: he just leans back in his chair like this is his house kwan [3:13 PM]: and I’m still offended by what he said about me being tiresome

chan [3:15 PM]: I’m literally right next to you? chan [3:15 PM]: We can always pull the ‘Is there anything else I can help with before I go” card chan [3:16 PM]: more importantly, did you also hear about them having a 24 hour shift together? chan [3:16 PM]: I ship it

kwan [3:17 PM]: omg I know I wonder if there are any workplace rules or w/e kwan [3:18 PM]: but then again jeonghan has already been v flirty kwan [3:18 PM]: maybe I’ll put that in his evaluation. “I admire his ability to shoot his shots”

chan [3:20 PM]: #rolemodel #inspo

---

The weekend came, and with it, the rain. Water pelted against glass windows in sheets as the low rumble of thunder echoed throughout the city. You were sitting cross-legged in the middle of the mattress with your laptop balanced on your knees, the rest of your belongings shoved in the corner where the bed met the wall. You heard the familiar beeping of the keypad, and like a week prior, Jeonghan stood in the doorway.

He gave you a quick “hi” before collapsing onto the other bed across from you, folding his arms across his stomach.

“Rough night?” you asked sympathetically, rummaging around in your bag for a snack to share.

“I don’t know what it is about the rain that makes everyone in this hospital so crazy,” you heard Jeonghan mutter under his breath. He rolled onto his side to face you and you placed a small box of banana milk next to him. He took it gratefully and poked the straw through the top, letting out a contented sigh.

“Let’s get some rest before they wake us up about that guy in room 5102 not peeing again,” you said, placing your laptop to the side and getting up to turn off the light. You heard an incoherent mumble in response. Shaking your head, you smiled and felt for the blanket folded at the foot of the bed, covering it carefully over Jeonghan’s form and moving the box of milk to the nightstand. Before you could turn back to your own bed, you felt a hand in yours and a brush of lips across your knuckles.

It was whisper, almost lost against the hum of the air conditioning. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

This time, you dream of floating, your body weightless as you stared up at the blue sky above you.

---

It’s almost the end of your month with Jeonghan when it finally hits you.

“Joshua, I’m screwed,” you groan, your hand dropping your fork back into your salad bowl. Joshua scoffs across from you, taking a bite of his pasta and swallowing before waving his own fork in your direction.

“What are you talking about? You’ve been doing super well on the team, from what I’ve heard.”

“It’s who you’ve heard this stuff from that’s the problem, Joshua,” you sigh. “I’m too old to have crushes.”

Joshua gasped dramatically, and snickered when you shot a glare at him across the table. “Sometimes, you’re really dense. You’re literally all that Hannie talks about. Well, you and your med student, Chan.”

“But we only have one more week together, and then what?” you ask glumly, poking at the wilting leaves.

Joshua reached his hand to still your movements. “Hey, you’re talking like you’re never going to see him again after this block. We still make time for each other, and I’m sure you two can, if you want to.”

“But you guys are also technically psychiatry residents,” you stated, moving your hand from under Joshua’s grasp. “You’re not going to be around after this year.” You could feel the tightness behind your nose, the quickening beat of your heart, and the uncomfortable lurch in your stomach as reality soaked through you, dripping wet and cold.

You would be on a different team in a week.

Joshua and Jeonghan would be gone in a few months.

The crisp air that filled your greedy lungs would be replaced by the burn of seawater again and again, the tide a relentless onslaught every time your head broke through the surface. You had learned how to breathe again through hooded eyes and lazy smiles and faint cologne, through a shock of platinum blonde hair and a lilting voice.

But this time, you didn’t know how you would fare when you went under again.

“Why do you think that we won’t see each other anymore?” Joshua asked quietly. In the back of your mind, you knew that he was slipping into his psychiatry persona, trying to get you to talk about your worries and fears. And as much as you knew that it would feel better to talk about it, and as much as you trusted Joshua, you couldn’t explain it.

You couldn’t tell him that you ended up having no one in your third year of medical school, the friendly waves in the hallway turning to tense, unsaid competition between your classmates for good evaluations and honors.

You couldn’t tell him that with every team that you’ve been on during your intern year, you end up dispersing on the last day, going separate ways despite the physical and emotional investment spent caring for patients and for each other.

You couldn’t tell him that he was just a fluke, an anomaly in your track history of brief, intense connections that characterized your entire career thus far.

You couldn’t tell him that everyone always left.

And you had learned to survive with water in your lungs, but Jeonghan tasted like air, clean and proper and euphoric.

What you said, instead, was, “I’m scared.”

It was truth enough.

---

han [7:35 PM]: I’m so excited about tomorrow han [7:36 PM]: last day~ but maybe we can finally go on a proper date

shua [7:37 PM]: bro, you need to have an honest conversation with her shua [7:37 PM]: she thinks you’re just never going to speak again after tomorrow shua [7:38 PM]: well, she thinks we’re all not going to speak to her after our intern year ends because we’re in different programs, but that’s a whole other thing shua [7:39 PM]: there is a lot of catastrophizing

han [7:40 PM]: I’ll appreciate it if you didn’t psychoanalyze my future s/o han [7:41 PM]: I mean, you’re right, but still

shua [7:42 PM]: aren’t you getting ahead of yourself there buddy

han [7:45 PM]: no. I’ve been an absolute angel

shua [7:45 PM]: I already regret setting you up shua [7:46 PM]: what did my sweet crybaby do to deserve this

---

“Hannie?” you answered tentatively, brows furrowing in confusion when you saw your phone screen light up with his name.

“Uh, hey,” he laughed, the sound tinny and nasal. “Do you have time to talk?”

“Yeah, is something wrong?” you ask, your thoughts flashing to the conversation you had with Joshua several days ago. You could feel something akin to dread rise up in your chest, but you pushed it down.

“No, nothing bad. Do you live in the resident housing complex? I can come over.”

“Okay,” you sigh, giving him your apartment number. Twenty minutes later, you heard a knock on your door, and you let Jeonghan in.

“So,” the blonde started, settling himself on your sofa, “Joshua told me that you were…worried.”

“Joshua needs to stay out of my business,” you muttered under your breath. Jeonghan grinned and patted the space next to him, and when you sat down, his sweater-clad arm wrapped around you like it was a motion that he had perfected for years.

“I’m just going to come out and say it,” he said, his heart starting to quicken in his chest. “I was really excited about our last day together because I thought I could finally ask you out properly.”

Your eyes widen as you angled yourself towards him. “Oh, so you mean those moments in the call room weren’t dates?” you teased, and he covered his face with his hands.

“Ugh, you’re not making this any easier,” he whined, and you laughed before wrapping your hands around his wrists and gently pulling his hands away from his face. You smiled gently at him before averting your gaze, suddenly shy as your hands traveled down his wrists to rest in his hands.

“I’m sorry, Hannie,” your voice no more than a whisper. Your eyes were fixed resolutely to the floor as you spoke. “I’m just not used to people wanting to stick around, and I’m scared about what’ll happen in the future.”

“Hey,” he said softly, reaching over to tuck your hair behind your ear. “Of course I want to stick around. It’s weird, but I feel like I want to know everything about you. Like, I went into psychiatry because I was interested in how people became who they were, but these past few weeks, I just wanted to know how you became the person you are today. Someone who works hard, who feels with their entire being. Someone who I’ve grown really attracted to.”

You felt your cheeks heat up and you wrapped your arms around his waist, hiding your face in his chest. “You can’t just say these things, Jeonghan,” you protested, feeling the rumble of laughter through his body.

“I can promise you that we’ll make it work. Even after tomorrow. Even after this year.”

You pulled away to look up into his brown eyes, at the curve of his nose, at his red lips pulled into a wide smile. You breathed out, “and you always keep your promises” before pulling him towards you, lips singing praises against his, wrapped up in a brown sweater and a gentle breeze whispering Jeonghan, Jeonghan, Jeonghan.

---

my hannie [6:01 AM]: I’m on the shuttle to the inpatient psych center! you’re probably still asleep, sorry that I couldn’t get you breakfast :( my hannie [6:02 AM]: but just wanted to wish you luck on your first day as a !! second !! year!! can you believe it? i’m so proud of you, baby. everyone’s going to love you, but not as much as me~ my hannie [6:03 AM]: shua says good luck too! I’m going to try to take a nap, it is way too early my hannie [6:05 AM]: but also….Joshua or Jeonghan?

my baby [6:30 AM]: omg hannie of course you, you big dummy. I woke up sad bc the bed was empty and then panicked bc I forgot that I didn’t have to go to sign-out anymore my baby [6:31 AM]: good luck on your first day too! poor hannie, you have to get up so early my baby [6:32 AM]: I’ll grab takeout and then we can cuddle tonight and talk about our days?

my hannie [7:00 AM]: ah yes, my most natural state – lying down in your arms. sounds perfect my hannie [7:01 AM]: I love you so much, pretty baby

my baby [7:02 AM]: well I guess it’s an upgrade from ‘pretty crybaby’ my baby [7:02 AM]: love you too

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