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spiderrrling · 2 years

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The Dungeon Master and the Cheerleader - Eddie Munson X F! Henderson! Reader

Pairing - Eddie Munson x F! Henderson! Cheerleader! Reader

Warnings - Mentions of cigarettes, me being a dnd nerd, probably some continuity errors

Word Count - 5.2k (yes i went crazy writing this)

Summary - What if the pretty cheerleader Eddie has been looking at turns out to be Dustin's sister, and she wants to learn about dungeons and dragons?

Request from @uglypastels : i mean, you already know what it is as we literally just discussed this face to face BUT the reader pretending not to know anything about DnD as an excuse to talk to Eddie so he can "teach" her. and maybe she slips up at the end, but hell, maybe Eddie already realised she knew but he just enjoyed talking about his favourite thing to a pretty girl so its all fluffy k, byeee (but not really)

Masterlist - Taglist - Requests are open

Her interest in Dungeons and Dragons had started a couple of years ago, seeing her brother play with his friends intrigued her and it wasn't long before she had stolen and read the entire players guide front to back more times than she could count.

Which had led to countless character sheets created and stuffed away in her folder along with unused campaign ideas. Because no matter how much she fell in love with the game, she didn't actually have anyone to play with.

She had no party, and she knew that her friends wouldn't be interested in spending hours on end exploring a pretend fantasy world and fighting all sorts of fictional and mythological monsters.

She had heard about the Hellfire Club, the resident group for the Dungeons and Dragons nerds. The ones who met up in the backstage of the theatre department every Friday after school to play.

But she had never dared join a campaign, maybe it was because she was scared of being judged by her friends. Or that maybe she was worried that she wasn't good enough as she had never actually played before.

She simply observed them from a distance, quick glances over to their table during lunch. And they weren't difficult to spot with their signature black and white tees they wore.

But the most prominent member of Hellfire, Eddie 'The Freak' Munson. He was impossible to miss, with his signature leather jacket and battle vest combination. With long curly hair, soft brown eyes and probably the kindest smile she had ever seen in her life.

The first time she had met Eddie Munson they had both been partaking in the Hawkins Middle charity talent show. Eddie had been playing guitar in his little garage band formed of misfits and outcasts. And she had been with the official middle school cheerleader group.

The guitar he was using was borrowed and way too big for him, but he didn't care. It was the first time he got to stand on a proper stage and play music.

Backstage Eddie had complimented her on her routine, and eloquently introduced himself as Eddie Munson the guitarist of Corroded Coffin. That was before he had received his covenant title of 'The Freak'.

After the talent show they didn't see each other much, she would wave at him in the hallway and he would return it with his soft smile. Eddie graduated middle school ahead of her and after that she didn't see him much.

They would occasionally bump into each other in the hallways of Hawkins High from time to time. But they never exchanged anything more than just a couple of words in passing here and there. She was still a cheerleader, and he was growing more and more into his persona with every passing day.

But she still kept finding her eye pulled towards him every now and then. They shared two classes after all.

So she might have a little crush on Eddie. Which hadn't been an issue last year, she had no reason to interact with him and could simply just admire him from a safe, comfortable distance which guaranteed she would not be making a fool out of herself.

However that all changed when her brother started high school and was immediately drafted into the group.

Suddenly she had all the excuses in the world to start interacting with the Hellfire Club. Looking over at their table during lunch, walking past maybe a little more than she needed to, offering to pick up Dustin after campaigns.

She still remembered the first time she picked up Dustin from Hellfire. Still donned in her green and white cheer uniform after having cheered at that night's football game.

When she arrived they hadn't finished yet, and instead of waiting outside she had taken a seat, an exclusive inside peek into a Hellfire club campaign. Dustin would never stop talking about all the things Eddie would do, and she so desperately wanted to see it in action.

Her fascination for Dungeons and Dragons had started with Dustin's total inability to stop talking about it after all.

It was fascinating seeing them play, how invested they all were in their characters and the plot going on. But her eyes did not leave Eddie once. The way he talked, his body language, the intensity and the spark in his eyes. It was enchanting to sit and watch.

She had never really paid much attention to the crew outside of the quick glances she would cast in their direction. These people were quick to be written off as the nerd and losers of Hawkins High.

But they all seemed so careless, so free in this space where they could just be themselves together as a group. She couldn't help but envy that just a little bit.

As she sat there looking at them, and especially at him. She couldn't help but notice all the little details about Eddie. the way he laguaged, accompanied by that stupidly bright smile which made butterflies appear in her stomach.

Eddie really wasn't the freak everyone made him out to be. Maybe he was still the same kid from the talent show that loved music and fantasy. And she couldn't find anything wrong with that.

"Heeeeey, hellooooo." Dustin's voice ripped her from her trance, she had zoned out. "Earth to Henderson helloooo, we gotta goooo." He waved a hand in her face and she simply shot him a glare.

"Hey, dont disrespect your sister Henderson." Eddie's voice sounded from where he was still standing, papers and books wedged in his hands as he packed up his station. "Besides, how can one not be totally fascinated with the Disciples of Damnation? It's a fantastic campaign."

The words made her cheeks flush ever so slightly with pink and she stared at the floor, terrified to look over at him.

"You got your stuff?" She asked Dustin, failing to notice the bag that was already slung over his shoulder. "Anyone else need a ride? Mike? Lucas?" She raised her voice and looked at the two other boys that had practically been joined at the hip with her brother for years.

Both of the boys simply shook their heads and Mike mumbled something about Nancy coming to give both of them a ride home. She just grabbed her keys and dragged Dustin out of the theatre department.

"What's gotten you so distracted?" Dustin asked as they walked to the car. "Just tired from the game."

"You were rude to Eddie by not answering him."

"I'm sure he'll live."

After that first time she offered to pick up Dustin every week, and he didn't seem to mind. He much preferred hitching a ride than walking or biking all the way home.

And over the next couple of weeks she kept entertaining the idea of Eddie in her mind more frequently. She most definitely had a crush on him.

Wondering what it would be like to run her fingers through his curly hair. To feel the cold metal of his rings against her skin. Thinking about how his chapped lips might feel against her lips or her neck.

Each time she picked up Dustin they interacted a little bit more. A couple of words exchanged here and there, Eddie's flirty persona had her flustered way too easily but she had mustered up the courage to compliment his shirt once.

Maybe picking up Dustin was an excuse to talk to Eddie, to look at him a little bit. But it worked out for both of them.

But she still tried to keep that distance between them, that comfortable distance where she knew she could protect her feelings and make sure her heart wasn't going to break.

Besides, she could never do that to Dustin. He practically worshipped the ground Eddie walked on. And she couldn't blame him, Eddie had this air about him. He refused to be someone he wasn't just to fit in and she admired that about him.

He gladly ran dungeons and dragons for the other students simply because he wanted to, and it gave others the space to be themselves.

She would be lying to herself if she said she hadn't noticed the uptick in Dustin's behaviour after he was enlisted in Hellfire. After years of bullying and teasing he had finally found a group that accepted and included him.

There is no way she could take that away from him by doing something stupid. It would be

cruel and malicious. Whatever feelings she might have for Eddie were fleeting and nothing compared to how she felt for Dustin.

So this would have to do, small stolen looks when no one was looking and a couple of words exchanged once a week. She would have to settle for that, and she was ok with that.

—

It was no secret that Eddie Munson was special. He was the leader of the Hellfire Club. He fearlessly led the band of nerds and outcasts that resided within the halls of Hawkins High.

It was also no secret to anyone who knew him that he had a type. The older members of the Hellfire club knew this very well.

They had seen Eddie's various small flings with different cheerleaders through the years.

Eddie almost had a heart attack then and there when she walked into Hellfire club. Immediately noticing her from the talent show, and from the previous years they had spent together at Hawkins High.

Quickly scanning the faces of the freshmen in front of him he deduced she must be Henderson's older sister. Shocked, someone like him would have a sister on the cheer team.

Never would he ever think that the worm Dustin Henderson would be picked up by one of the senior cheerleaders.

And sure, somewhere in him he knew he shouldn't be ogling at one of the siblings of the Hellfire like he was a kid looking at toys in a toy store.

But he couldn't help but just a little bit, she was still wearing her uniform, her hair all messy and cheeks a little flushed from having cheered for the past few hours.

Almost instantly he got a warning glare from Garreth, which he simply shrugged off.

"That's Henderson's sister you do know that right?" Garreth approached him after both Dustin and his sister had left, but his voice was still quiet, not wanting to alert any of the other members still hanging around.

"I do." Eddie curly responded.

"Eddie, don't even think about it." Garreth had warned him, and Eddie agreed he wouldn't. That was a lie, in fact he thought about it a lot. Technically, he had known her before he had known Dustin.

It wasn't helped by the fact that she started picking up Dustin from Hellfire almost every week. But it was when she didn't come to pick him up and Eddie felt a little pang of disappointment that he realised that he was developing a crush.

Previously he had simply shrugged it off to a pretty face and seen her in a short cheer skirt. However, that moment made him bite his tongue for a moment.

"Henderson, where's your sister?" Eddie had gathered up the courage to ask after he had finished the session. "Dunno, she said something about a date."

A date. Eddie's blood ran cold for a second and he could have sworn he was going to see red. He knew it wasn't justified, he hadn't ever actually spoken with her more than a couple of flirty comments here and there as she picked up Dustin.

But it still made his blood boil. She was out somewhere, on a date with someone. That wasn't him.

And so started his master plan, and it started with the need of a new Hellfire member.

—

"Henderson!" Eddie grinned from ear to ear as he approached the freshman standing with Mike next to their lockers. "We need a new member for tomorrow's session, is Y/N free?"

"Can't we just use one of the regular subs?" No, no they could not. Technically Eddie could simply talk to her, ask her out when he saw her. But that almost seemed too easy, and slightly wrong. Plus there was no way in hell that she would say yes to going out with him, so he would have to play the long game with this one.

“And besides, didn't you mention she had some interest in playing?” Eddie realised he must have looked crazy, wide eyed and staring the freshmen down.

“Yeah like a couple of years ago? I doubt she would be interested now.” Eddie huffed slightly, feeling himself becoming increasingly annoyed. “Just ask her will ya?”

That seemed to intimidate them enough to turn heel and run, muttering some excuse about going to look.

—

"Hey Y/N!" Dustin's voice carried through the library. Making plenty of students turn heads to look at who was being loud. Dustin was accompanied by Mike and she was shooting them both daggers as they made their way over to the table she was sitting at alone.

"Could you be any louder?" She berated them in a hushed voice as they sat down at the table. Her books and papers were strewn out over the table, desperately trying to cram in just a little bit more studying before Mr. Kaminsky's test later. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Do you want to join Hellfire tomorrow?" Dustin completely ignored everything she had said, too couped up in his own thoughts and priorities to care. "Eddie says we need an extra player and everyone else is busy soooo..."

Dustin gave her the big eyes he always used when he wanted something from her. It was clear they were desperately trying to fulfil an order set by Eddie, both of the boys looked slightly panicked as if they needed her to say yes.

Of course she wanted to join Hellfire, more than anything. But at the same time that would mean having to spend a night in the same room as Eddie, and she didn't know if she would be able to handle that.

"So I'm your last pick for an extra?" She raised an eyebrow at her brother, enjoying seeing him panic further. "No just- we need- and-" He struggled to find the words to explain himself away.

"And besides, have you ever thought about the fact that I have my own life? My own friends? I have plans." She looked him dead in the eye as she spoke.

"Bullshit, I know practice was cancelled tomorrow and that you were planning on renting a video and falling asleep with Mews on the couch."

"Mews? Who's mews?" She heard his voice behind her, immediately her blood went cold and she froze in her seat. Slowly turning to look at him, convinced her face was completely pale and void of any colour.

And there he stood, the leader of Hellfire. Eddie Munson, asking about her cat of all things.

"Mews? Who's mews?" She heard his voice behind her, immediately her blood went cold and she froze in her seat. And before she knew it Eddie slit down into one of the empty seats across from her.

She slowly looked up at him, convinced her face was completely void of any colour. And there he sat, the leader of Hellfire. Eddie Munson, asking about her cat of all things.

His usual goofy smile was plastered to his face, creating those dimples that always managed to make her slightly weak. She could see his dimples and how when he smiled his eyes lit up just a little.

"Our cat." Dustin responded like it was absolutely nothing, while she was completely tongue tied and totally staring at Eddie. "So what do you say?" Eddie asked and crooked his head a little bit.

Just enough that she could spot the black outline of a tattoo peeking out of the collar of his shirt. Her mind was still totally blank.

Dustin kicked her under the table and she snapped back to reality. "Sorry, what?"

"What do you say, want to join Hellfire tomorrow?" Eddie looked at her, and she was convinced this was all just a big prank. "The worm says you might be interested."

"I- I've never played." Which was technically true, she had never played and for now she was hoping it would work as a half assed excuse. "I would just be an inconvenience."

She gave him a weak smile and prayed the excuse would work.

"Nonsense, I'll help you through the basics. Get you all set up." Before she could protest Eddie had gotten up out of his seat. "Tomorrow at lunch, the picnic table behind the football field."

Dustin and Mike immediately followed Eddie out of the library and she was once again left sitting alone. Completely dumbfounded as to what had just happened.

And she was about to be caught in a lie.

—

She should have come clean the second she showed up in the woods and saw him sitting at the table already waiting for her. But some part of her did really want to sit next to Eddie Munson and get his help to create a new character.

He was already there when she arrived, probably skipped the previous class to prepare. Something about the thought excited her, that he would skip class for her. But she knew that in reality Eddie Munson probably skipped classes quite frequently.

"So how much will I need to teach you? Dustin mentioned you already had an interest." Eddie said as she sat down, he gestured for her to sit next to him instead of opposite him like she had planned.

She thought of the already made character sheet that was tucked into her bag just in case.

“I suppose a little bit of everything?” She looked at him questioningly with big eyes and Eddie swore he could melt right then and there. “Just so I understand the very basics and then I’ll manage from there.”

And just like that Eddie started teaching her, if she was being honest she wasn’t listening to what he was saying, not that she needed to. Simply smiling and nodding along to whatever he was saying, providing input here and there when it was needed. Things like character names, which race and class she wanted to play.

Settling on a chaotic good half elf cleric.

“So these empty boxes right here.” Eddie used the tip of his pen to point on the paper. “These will be your spellcasting slots, when you use a spell one will fill up until you have the time to rest and recover.”

He was sitting next to her on the bench, their legs touching as he carefully guided her through the character sheet in front of her that she could already recite in her sleep. Eddie was wearing his regular ripped jeans, and she was just in a regular plain cotton skirt, feeling the rough denim against her soft bare skin.

“Now as you’re starting level one you will only have two spells to use, so it won't be too complicated.” Eddie was smiling so wide as he spoke, his heart fluttering whenever he felt her move.

"Roll these for me will you sweetheart?" Eddie said and dropped a couple of six sided dice in front of her. The use of the nickname made butterflies appear in her stomach and she bit into her bottom lip to keep herself from smiling like a crazy person.

Eddie had a couple of dice out, helping her roll up a new character. His players manual laid open on the table in front of them, his messy handwriting decorating the pages in notes and comments along the margins.

She couldn't place her finger on it exactly, but Eddie seemed almost giddy to be sitting there with her helping her make a character sheet. She almost felt bad lying to him, almost.

Quickly grabbing the die and rolling the die, letting them scatter over the table. "What we're doing now is rolling for your abilities, but don’t worry I can do all the math for you."

Eddie just kept talking, he knew he was rambling on but having her so close was making him so nervous he couldn’t help himself. He was taking note of her rolls quickly working out the math, not even noticing that she was rolling for abilities he hadn’t explained yet.

“Yeah just like that, see you’re a natural already!” Eddie jokingly elbowed her side, noticing that she was a little tense. “Well I haven’t played yet.”

“You’ll do great, I just know it.” She turned to look at him and she found his eyes looking directly at hers. It was only when she was sitting this close she could actually see his eyes. They were such a deep rich dark brown, a kind that she could so easily get herself lost in. There were so many parts of his face she had never noticed before when she only looked at him from a distance.

The slightly faded scar that ran just outside his eyebrow. His dimples when he smiled. The ever so faintest dusting of freckles across his nose. The faint smell of cigarettes and cheap cologne hung in the air as she breathed him in.

But while she was looking at his eyes, his eyes were staring at her lips, Eddie was totally unable to look away. Only imagining what it would be like to lean in and brush his lips against hers.

“Let’s hope so.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, her heart was in her throat. Neither of them realising how long they had been sitting there staring. Both of them ripped out of their trance when they heard the faint sound of the lunch bell ringing in the distance.

“Shit.” She exclaimed and quickly started gathering her stuff, shoving it into her bag without much care. “I’m sorry I have to go I’ve heard talk that there will be a pop quiz and I can’t let this grade slip more than it already has and I-”

Eddie laughed as she rambled away, watching her pack up her bag and slinging it over her shoulders. “No worries sweetheart.” He bit his bottom lip quickly. “After 6th period in the drama room!” Eddie called after her as she rushed back towards the school.

—

She had been counting down the minutes waiting for the end of 6th period, more and more anxious with each tick the clock made. Feeling her nerves starting to settle in, that pit of anxiety in her stomach quickly gathered.

And before she knew it she was standing in front of the drama department, the character sheet her and Eddie had started during lunch clutch in her hand. On the paper his handwriting intertwined with hers. She had spent the rest of the day filling out the blanks of the sheet, creating herself a little firecracker of a cleric.

This was going to be fun, she kept telling herself. Maybe if she said it enough the nerves in her stomach would subside. She could feel the nerves all the way out into her fingertips making them go numb with anxiety and worry.

Taking one final breath and opening the door, most of the players had already arrived and were sitting around the table. And of course, at the head of the table in a gothic throne he had stolen from the drama department sat Eddie Munson.

He was setting up his screen and placing mini figures around the map. But he lifted his gaze as he heard the door slam shut behind her, flashing her a smile that made her weak in the knees.

Eddie gestured to the empty seat that was free next to her, without words telling her to sit down. And she was not about to protest.

It didn’t take long before everyone arrived and the game began, some part of her must have kicked into auto pilot and the nerves subsided.

Eddie guided them through the session so effortlessly, barely having to consult his notes as he narrated. He was pulling out all the stops, all of his NPC impressions were dialled up and there was an extra bit of energy in everything he did.

“Hey younger Henderson.” Eddie called out to Dustin and she looked down at the floor to hide her smile. “Hitch a ride home with Wheeler will you? Your sister being the newbie she’s on clean up duty.”

Dustin couldn’t argue with that, he had been on his fair share of cleaning duty when he had joined Hellfire. In his mind it was only fair.

Quickly they were both left alone, quietly cleaning up the mess left behind by the other party members.

"You know, you're a really bad liar." Eddie finally said and broke the silence between them. After hours of thinking that is what he chose to lead this conversation with. He had to muster up all the courage he could. Eddie was absolutely determined to do this.

"Me?" Heat immediately rushed to her cheeks at the accusation. "What- what have I lied about?" Great, and now she was stammering, a great look for someone practically lying through their teeth.

"It is so clear that you know more than you are letting on." Eddie laughed and slowly started walking towards her. "And then you kept using all the terminology so fluently, you knew all the dice, how all the turns worked."

"Maybe I just have a really great teacher." That made Eddie laugh more. "Sweetheart, I'm good but I'm not that good."

"How long have you known?" Her voice was so quiet he could barely hear it.

"Well I've been suspecting ever since earlier at lunch." He was standing right in front of her, close enough that she could feel his breath on her skin. "But this-" he gestured to her, "just confirmed everything I was thinking."

"And you have a tell." She looked at him questioningly. "Right here." Eddie lifted his hand to her face and ran his thumb over her eyebrow. "You knit your eyebrows together whenever you lie."

But Eddie didn't let his hand drop, instead he let it rest against her face.

"Are you mad?"

"Mad? Why would I ever be mad?"

"Well I did lie to you."

"Eh, it was cute so I'll let it slide."

“Cute?” She asked him a little shyly, Eddie was practically standing flush against her, her back against the playing table. “You think I’m cute?”

Eddie's eyes were back to staring at her lips, barely registering what she was saying.

“Sweetheart I think you’re absolutely adorable.” His face was only a couple of inches away from hers. But never had a couple of inches felt like such a vast distance. Eddie wondered what it would be like to lean in and brush his lips against hers. To feel her nose bump against his own.

Her eyes scanned his face, unsure what to make of the words coming out of his mouth.

“We shouldn’t do this.” Her voice was breathless and slow as she spoke, trying to ground herself. “No we shouldn’t.” Eddie murmured in agreement, inching just a little bit closer to her, just barely hovering over her lips. It would be so easy to lean in and close the space between them.

But both of them knew that if they did, they would be crossing a line and they would be at a point of no return.

“Tell me you want me to kiss you.”

“Eddie please kiss me-” She barely had time to finish the last word before Eddie slammed his lips against hers, finally closing the painfully short distance that had separated them.

Eddie tasted exactly like what she had expected him to. Like stale cigarettes and cinnamon gum. It was an intoxicating combination which only drew her in further. Her hands rested against his chest, feeling his chest through his signature Hellfire shirt.

And she was like a drug he had never had before, the way her lips moved against his quickly sent Eddie into a craze. He knew he would never be able to get enough of this feeling.

Weeks, months of longing fueled the kiss. It was desperate, needy and messy. His lips moved against hers so effortlessly and it knocked the air out of her lungs. The open mouthed kiss sweeping them both of their feet.

Eddie’s hand moved from her face and to the back of her neck, gripping it firmly so he could move her to exactly where he wanted her. Neither of them ever wanted this moment to end but eventually Eddie pulled away, the need for oxygen becoming too great.

Both of them were on a crazed high from the kiss and slightly dizzy. Still close enough that they breathed the same air. Lips swollen and wet with saliva.

“Do you have any idea how long I have wanted to do that?” Eddie said between heavy breaths, desperately trying to pull air back into his lungs. The smile on his lips was priceless. “I might have an idea.”

His hand snaked down her body, gripping the backs of her thighs and guiding her to sit down on the table. Spreading her legs so he could fit between them. Eddie moved his frame around her smaller one. One of his hands stayed on her thigh while the other was splayed against the expanse of her back, resisting the urge to tug at the hem of her shirt.

While her hands had snaked around his neck and shoulders to stabilise herself, her fingers were mindlessly playing and tugging at the strands of hair at the back of his neck.

His eyes were so dark she could swear she could see her reflection in them. How she could easily spend hours sitting there admiring his face.

“Can I kiss you again?” She didn’t bother to respond, only used her arms to pull his face to hers and connected their lips once more. The second kiss was softer, slower. Both of them wanted to savour the feeling of each other. Wanting to memorise as much as they could in the small amount of stolen time they had.

She could feel Eddie’s hand push up her skirt just a little so he could grab onto the bare skin of her thigh. The cold sting of his metal rings against her warm skin sending sparks flying through her body.

It didn’t take long before Eddie’s lips moved from hers and to her jaw, taking his sweet time kissing along her jaw bone before letting them trail over the sensitive skin of her neck. Her skin was so soft, just a hint of sweetness remaining from her morning perfume. Eddie never wanted this moment to end.

When Eddie pulled his lips away from her neck to press another couple of quick kisses to her lips. And when he looked at her she couldn’t think of anything else to say so she simply said. “So when do I get my own Hellfire shirt?”

“Oh darling.” Eddie gently caressed her face and looked directly into her eyes. “You can just have mine.”

Taglist - @pastel-abyss-x @fayetheenthusiast @obi-wanakenobi @starbemo @chloebeansack @a-villain-vying-for-attention @meganjm @prettytoxix @magicalxdaydream @ghoulsandgraveyards @munchabunch @kaydencegilr0y @eateraa @satorix @xbreezymeadowsx @hunnybunimdun @eddiemunsfuturewife

Mutuals - @uglypastels @catastrofhe

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makeitmingi · 8 months

Text

Cause Baby You're My Muse [Chapter 30]

Genre: Romance, Idol!AU, Music, Slight angst

Pairing: Mingi x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Producer!Reader, IdolLyricist!Mingi, IdolProducer!Hongjoong, Idol!Seonghwa, Idol!Yunho, Idol!Wooyoung, Idol!San, Idol!Yeosang, Idol!Jongho, cameo(s) by other celebrities

Summary: You always preferred producing underground, having an unknown face and governed by your own rules. But when you start freelancing for idol groups, you say goodbye to your lone wolf lifestyle as you learn to work with idol producers and lyricists.

Word count: 3.3K

Just like you and Mingi predicted, you were so busy that you haven't really spent any time with him over the next couple of weeks. What made you feel worse was not being able to see Haneul.

You started early or worked through the night that having Haneul around would just not be fair to her. You wouldn't be able to give your attention to her and care for her, which is why she still doesn't live with you.

"Mingi hyung, are you okay?" Jongho asked, noticing the taller male unusually quiet, a distant look on his face.

"I'm worried about Indigo... You know she had just been cooped up in her studio. I've been busy too so I haven't gone to visit her and check if she's okay." Mingi sighed.

"It's normal when it's comeback preparation season for producers. Hongjoong hyung hasn't been coming home too." Jongho said.

"Her studio is just downstairs, buddy. You can ask her." Yunho patted Mingi on the shoulder.

"No... I don't want to disturb her. She's stresesd out as is..." Mingi chewed on his bottom lip. He groaned, falling back to lay on the practice room floor. He missed you so much.

"I'm sure you won't stress her." Yunho chuckled.

"It's not me that will stress her. It's the thought of me that will stress her out. I know her, she'll see me and feel bad for not spending time with me. I don't want to add to that. If she thinks we're both busy that we can't spend time with each other, it'll make her feel less guilty." Mingi explained.

"Wow." Jongho snorted with a smile. Even Yunho blinked, speechless at how Mingi was so confident in his knowledge of you.

Mingi didn't even know your schedule, he just knew you were busy. The both of you decided not to share a calendar and overwhelm or worry the other party.

"Maybe you can cook her a meal, lighten that load." Wooyoung joined the discussion circle.

"My omma has been giving me food to give to her." Mingi said flatly. He remembers the shock, thinking the food was for him but his mother warned him not to eat it, saying it was for you only.

"I would suggest we all surprise her but with Mingi's whole insight into Indigo's psyche earlier, I'm not sure if that will go well."

"You guys think of something. I'll just buy her a coffee and get it delivered to her studio first." Mingi pushed himself to stand up, going to retrieve his phone. He ordered two iced coffees from the cafe you liked and got it delivered to your studio.

'Thanks for the coffee, Mings... I really needed it. Are you in the studio today? - Prod. Baby'

'Yeah. Actually I'm already in the building, we just finished dance practice. - Mings'

'Can you come? - Prod. Baby'

"That's my queue. I'll see you guys later." Mingi slung his bag over his shoulder and left the dance studio. Before going to you, he went to the bathroom to change out of his hoodie and into a clean shirt.

DING DONG

Mingi stood there, waiting for you to open the door. Not that you didn't tell him your studio password or anything, he simply didn't want to know it when you offered to tell him. That was your private space, not his, and if he was going to be inside, you should be there with him.

"Mings." A smile appeared on your face as you opened the door and took him in. Mingi dropped his bag, immediately leaning down to scoop you into his arms.

"I missed you." You said, muffled into his shoulder as your arms tightened around his neck.

"Me too." He mumbled, rubbing his face into your neck. He took a deep breath, inhaling your familiar scent and relaxed in your hold.

Like always, Mingi didn't let you go. Instead, he teetered into the studio, closing the door behind him. He didn't care that his bag was left in the hallway.

"You left your bag out there, silly." You giggled.

"It's fine. There's nothing good to steal in there." Mingi said. You shook your head with a laugh, leaning in to give him a quick peck. After that, you went to get his bag from outside, closing the door and locking the door after that.

"Baby, have you been sleeping here again?" Mingi asked, finally noticing the set up pull out bed. You hadn't bothered to tidy it up since you were using it for night sleeps and naps.

That was when Mingi took in your appearance as well. You looked tired, pale with sunken eyes. You also felt lighter when Mingi lifted you up.

"Only for the past two nights." You confessed. Mingi didn't lecture you or scold you.

"Poor, baby." He hugged you.

"That's fine. I just needed to see you. I'm already feeling much better after seeing you." You wrapped your arms around his waist, sticking yourself to him like a baby koala.

"Let's take a nap, hmm? I'll wake you up when you want me to." Mingi suggested kindly. That sounded really tempting, sleeping with Mingi beside you, holding you. Looking back at your desk, you thought about all the work you have been doing. Maybe you could afford a 1-hour nap or even 2-hours.

"Okay. Wake me up in 2 hours." You told him. Mingi nodded, setting the alarm on his phone. You dimmed the lights as you both settled on the pull out bed.

"It's not as comfortable as home." You chuckled, feeling the springs move easily under you.

"That's okay. It's better than nothing." He smiled, happy to just be with you. One arm was tucked under your head, becoming your pillow and his other arm draped over your waist loosely.

"Before you sleep..." Mingi started. You hummed in question.

"This." He pressed his lips against yours. You smiled into the kiss, hands coming up to hold his cheeks. You felt Mingi squeeze the flesh of your waist.

"Okay, now you can sleep." He said, pulling away. You laughed at how silly he was as you tucked your face into the crook of his neck.

You fell asleep in record time, forgetting where you were temporarily. The previous two weeks of barely getting any sleep caught up with you so quickly. All that mattered was that Mingi was here with you and you were in safe in his arms.

"Baby? Love? It's time to wake up." Of course Mingi didn't want to wake you up but he promised he would and he didn't want you to be upset that you slept for so long.

"Hmm..." You groaned, clutching onto Mingi's shirt.

"You can sleep longer if you want. I just don't want you to be mad at me if I didn't wake you up first." He said.

"Not... mad... You smell... good...." You mumbled out with your face still smushed against Mingi's bicep. He laughed, his free hand coming up to thread through your hair.

"Thanks?"

"You're welcome..." You replied. You were obviously half asleep, not really aware of the conversation you were having with Mingi.

"Need to... work... But I don't want... to move..." You grumbled with your eyes still closed. Mingi wanted to carry you up and take you home to continue sleeping in a proper bed. He showered you in kisses until you scrunched your nose and peeked open an eye to stare at him.

"Oh, we're still in the studio." You yawned, stretching your arms over your head as you blinked, taking in your surroundings. You had forgotten that you were here.

"Up we go." Mingi helped you sit up and you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes.

"Go work. I'll clear all this up." Mingi patted your lower back to urge you to move, tossing the pillows aside.

"Mmm, okay." You hummed and shuffled over to sit in your chair. Mingi tidied up the bed, he folded the blanket and placed it into the basket you had before making everything look like a couch again.

"All done." He came over and leaned down to give you a kiss on the cheek. You turned to see everything put away neatly.

"Thank you." You tilted your head up to give him a peck. You reached over to take a sip of your coffee before going back to work. Mingi sat on the couch, not wanting to disturb or distract you. He had his phone out, writing some lyrics.

"Mings, aren't you tired from practice? You don't have to wait for me to finish. You could go home if you'd like." You said to him, not taking your eyes off the screen in front of you.

"No, I'm okay. I know I don't have to wait, I want to. But if you want the space to think alone, I'm fine too." Mingi replied.

"No, I do want you here." You turned around to look at him.

"Even if you aren't right next to me, knowing you're there with me makes me feel less anxious. I can't describe it. It's almost like you have a calming effect on me." You explained.

"Don't worry, I understand because I feel the same when you're with me too." Mingi chuckled.

"Really?" You tilted your head. He nodded in confirmation.

You smiled softly then turned back to do your work. Sure, you joke about how Mingi can be distracting when you're trying to work but you never actually minded him being around you. It was true, he had that effect on you. You didn't feel stressed, anxious or overwhelmed by all the work.

After working for some time, Mingi noticed that it was time for dinner. He was going to order some takeout for the both of you when a text came in from Wooyoung.

'Bring Indigo upstairs to the roof! - Wooyoung'

'But she's busy... - Mingi'

'Tell her Seonghwa hyung and Hongjoong hyung told her to go. She'll agree. - Wooyoung'

"Hey, baby? Sorry to interrupt." Mingi approached you carefully, gently tapping your shoulder so as to not startle you. You removed your headphones and looked at him quizically.

"The captain and Seonghwa hyung asked me to bring you upstairs." Mingi explained.

"Why?" You tilted your head.

"Not sure... I was just told to bring you." He scratched his head. True to what Wooyoung predicted, you put your headphones down and saved your progress before heading up with him. Since it was late, Mingi boldly held your hand the entire way.

"What-"

"Surprise!" The roof top was decked out with lanterns and fairy lights. Seonghwa and Wooyoung were standing over a big pot of some sorts, stirring what looked to be soup.

"Unnie!" Haneul wiggled in San's arms. He let her down and she ran to you. You bent down to hug her tightly.

"Haneulie, I missed you so much." You whispered as you showered her in kisses. She burst into a fit of giggles from the tickles.

"Did you plan this?" You turned to Mingi.

"Nope! It was the rest of us." Hongjoong slung an arm around your shoulder, leading you away. Haneul held onto your free hand, an excited, giddy smile on her face. You went to give Wooyoung, Yeosang and Seonghwa thank you hugs. Despite not being on for skinship, Jongho let you hug him.

"Thank you for driving to get Haneul." You hugged Yunho. He smiled brightly, happily hugging you. He even lifted you up a little like Mingi usually does with you.

"Me too! Me too! I went along." San snatched you away to hug you.

"Yah, that's enough." Mingi voiced. Haneul let go of your hand and ran to him to hug his leg.

"Hi there, little princess." He smiled and bent down to hold Haneul. She always liked when Yunho or Mingi held her because she felt so tall. Haneul giggled and wrapped her arms around Mingi.

"Hi, big princess!" She kicked her legs slightly with happiness. Mingi blinked at the nickname she just called him.

"But I'm not a princess?"

"You are! Yunho oppa said so!" Haneul pointed to the other tall male, who was snickering. Mingi shot his best friend a flat look. Of course it would originate from him.

"Okay, no more giant princess. Come here, little bear." Jongho cut in and took Haneul away. Haneul willingly sat in Jongho's lap as they looked out the balcony at the cars and people walking by. You softened watching the two of them.

"Mine." You jumped at Mingi's sudden appearance behind you. He draped his arms over your shoulders from the back.

"Alright, alright. Time to eat kids." Seonghwa called. After Yeosang handed you a drink, Wooyoung came and stole you from Mingi, sitting you beside him.

"Yah, Jung Wooyoung!" Mingi yelled in protest.

"We made Baeksuk. For you to replenish your energy." Wooyoung ignored Mingi and spoke to you excitedly. Hongjoong, San and Yunho helped given out the bowls of hot chicken soup to everyone.

"Wait, wait. I need to help Haneul cut up the meat." You chuckled, standing back up.

"Don't worry, Indigo. I got it. Just sit and enjoy your dinner." Jongho assured. He used his chopsticks to pick off the meat and shredded it into small pieces for Haneul, mixing it with her rice.

"Thanks, Jongho ah." You smiled softly, melting at how Jongho was with Haneul. They have grown close even if he wouldn't verbally admit it. You sat back down beside Wooyoung and Yeosang. Mingi's face fell as he sulked, he had hoped that you would still change seats to sit with him.

"Thank you for the surprise, everyone. For bringing Haneul here and cooking. Although, I'm curious how you all got such a big pot." You giggled, raising your soda can.

"We rented it. You can do that, surprisingly. But you're welcome, we hope you have all the energy after this." Seonghwa smiled.

"I will." You looked at all of them. It won't be the food that gave you energy but everyone seated here with you.

"Is it good, little bear?" Jongho asked.

"Mhmm!" Haneul said, shovelling the food into her mouth. Jongho laughed and wiped her mouth with a napkin. He added more seaweed into her bowl to mix with the rice and chicken.

"Here, let me help you." San wore two layers of gloves and helped you tear apart the chicken, putting one of the legs in your bowl.

"Thank you, Sannie." You dipped the chicken and ate it with the radish kimchi. It tasted very good, just the comforting meal you needed. What made it taste better was the fact that the Ateez boys put in effort to cook it for you.

"We know you're busy tomorrow but if it's okay with you, we would like to take Haneul to the aquarium?" Yunho asked softly. Your hand stopped in its movement.

"But if you're not comfortable, we won't." Yeosang quickly added, having noticed how you stiffened.

"It's nothing to do with you guys. It's not that I don't trust you with her..." You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to explain yourself.

"It's just... I have to think of her safety. What if the media or fans know that you're there? I don't want her face planted all over the news." You sighed.

"It's okay to be honest and worried about her safety, Indigo. We completely understand and don't take offense to that at all. We actually called and the aquarium is willing to open late for us to visit in the morning before they open the public. If you're fine with that." Wooyoung explained.

"If it's just going to be you guys and her, I don't mind. But are you sure you guys have the time to take her?" You asked.

"Yeah. Jongho, Yunho, Wooyoung and I will be there. We'll go and have lunch before coming back." Yeosang said.

"Okay then. You guys should be the ones to tell her. I'm sure she will be happy to hear it from you." You gave a little smile, watching as the boys told Haneul their plan tomorrow.

"Really?!" Her eyes lit up.

"Yeah, baby. But I won't be able to go because I have work. You'll go with the oppas, okay?" You told her. She nodded excitedly.

"Yay! Aquarium!" She cheered. Jongho mimicked her, throwing his hands up in celebration as well.

After the meal, you all helped clean up before going home. You figured you could skip a night of work since you didn't want Haneul to wait for you in your studio. She sat on the couch, waiting patiently for you to pack up.

"Princess oppa is coming home with us?" Haneul tilted her head, looking at Mingi who sat beside her. All the others had gone on their own way, back to shared dorm.

"Yeah..." You stopped, realising that you still haven't told her about you and Mingi.

"Why?" She asked.

"Well... Because..." Mingi tried to help but it ended up failing, not able to come up with an excuse to tell the child. He looked at you for help. You laughed at his helpless expression.

"How should I say this? Baby, Mingi has become my... partner. So he stayed over with me from time to time." You explained.

"Like how an omma and appa are?"

"N-No. We're not married. This is like that stage before they get married?" You scratched your head, unable to really explain to her the concept of dating. But Haneul seemed to accept it, nodding her head. Mingi, on the other hand, was reeling from the fact that you described your relationship as the step before marriage.

"I'm ready. Shall we go home?" You asked. Mingi shook his head to clear his head. He wordlessly came to take your bag for you, slinging it over his own shoulder.

"Let's go!" Haneul jumped down from the couch and held your hand. You smiled down at her.

"I'll call a cab." Mingi said.

You and Mingi pulled up your masks before you entered the cab. Haneul sat on your lap and you wrapped your arms around her, resting your head against her.

"Comfy?" You chuckled. She nodded with a hum. She reached up and toyed with your earrings, something she did since she was a baby. You guessed that she must have been tired because she ended up with her falling asleep.

"Hang on, let me help you." When the cab stopped, Mingi put the bag on the ground and came to your side. You very carefully moved Haneul into Mingi's arms.

"Your husband is very kind." The taxi driver complimented as you handed him the money.

"Thank you. Goodnight, ahjusshi." You didn't bother to correct him. You got out of the cab and carried the bags.

"Don't worry, I got it." You assured Mingi. He nodded, adjusting Haneul so she would be more comfortable. The two of you went up to the apartment.

"Why don't you shower first? I'll change Haneul's clothes." You asked. Mingi nodded and leaned in to give you a sweet kiss before going to the bathroom. You grabbed a towel to wipe Haneul's face, arms and legs then changed her into her pajamas. She must have been tired because she didn't even stir when you moved her.

"Goodnight, baby." You kissed her cheek, tucking her in.

"I'll sleep on the couch tonight." Mingi said when you passed him to go shower, holding your hand.

"No... We haven't spent time in two weeks... There is more than enough space in the bed. That is, if you don't mind sharing the bed with Haneul and I." You said.

"You sure?" He kissed the back of your hand.

"Yeah. With the way we cuddle, we only take up half the bed anyway." You chuckled. Mingi softened, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you in. He had really missed you so much. Holding your chin, he tilted your head up so he could press his lips against yours.

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railingsofsorrow · 11 months

Text

Somewhere Underlined

summary: jennifer jareau would be the death of you someday, you know that and you'd probably let her. surprisingly, you weren't aware that you caused that same reaction on her, too.

pairing: jj jareau x fem!queer!reader

w.c: 4.8K

warnings/content: lots of yearning and miscommunication; angst (wouldn't be me without any angst); flirting; fear of rejection; this is not a coming out fic but it discusses the topic; description about impulsive actions & consent & acceptance; foul language at some point; murder is briefly mentioned; mentions of bad experiences regarding relationships; friendly banter; an argument; fluff; making out.

A/N: this is my entry for @the-guilty-writer pride fic challenge! I didn't chose an specific prompt. I've had this idea for a long time and when I saw this challenge I thought “oh, that's how this is going to go.” hopefully, you'll like it <3 and happy pride month!!!!

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“I think I'm in love with her.”

You don't go around revealing your life to the first person you see. That's just not you. But have you ever been through one of those moments where your mind trails back to that person and all you can see it's her eyes, her smile, the scrunch of her nose when she's concentrated and the tilt of her head when she's confused about something?

And then, it slips out. Your heart speaks for itself, you can't control it.

“Huh?” Penelope queried, drifting her attention back to you. She has been ogling some blonde dude since the moment you came into the bar. You didn't understand the appeal. He was just an average white probably tasteless man. Penelope could do so much better, but that was none of your business.

You were ogling someone else as well, so. Hypocrite.

“Wait—what?” The blonde gripped your arm, eyes widening behind her glasses as if a realization has come to her. “Who are you in love with?”

Oh, she heard that? Somehow you thought it could have been muffled by the loud music.

You know some order thing that could be muffled? JJ and her stupid flirting with that stupid guy beside you. God, if she giggled one more time you'd break your beer bottle in your head.

You wondered what would Penelope think in case she knew who you were talking about. You've received a lot of looks because of your sexual orientation over the years and it's long gone that part of you that cared so much about what people thought of you. You were a grown woman, successful in your field and you didn't depend on anyone to survive. Especially prejudiced people. But those people in the bar, they weren't just people. They have become your family. You couldn't stop thinking if they would treat you differently if they knew you weren't straight.

“Baby girl and princess!” You step out of your inner turmoil to acknowledge a very drunk Derek Morgan. Both of his arms around yours and Garcia's shoulders. He was the touchy kind of drunk. You didn't complain and you knew by your friend's wicked grin that she wouldn't either. “Now what are you doing here moping around? There's a dance floor with plenty of space over there.”

“Oh, I can see that. Are you taking us there then?”

“I'd be more than happy too.”

Before Penelope could drag you out, you clicked your tongue under the roof of your mouth.

“Sorry, not tonight. My legs are killing me.”

Derek chuckled, shaking his head in disapproval. “Because of when we jogged after the unsub?”

Grabbing a shot of tequila and promptly throwing your head back, you straighten your back while staring back at him, a scowl present in your features.

“You call that jogging? I'm not a gym rat like you, Morgan.”

“I can see that, we need to change that!”

“Uh-huh,” you push his shoulder playfully. “Convince Spencer first and we can all wake up at five a.m together to run around the Headquarters.”

Derek yelled through the music about always getting what he wanted in the end and he wouldn't give up before Garcia whisked him away to the dance floor and they disappeared from your sight.

A smile lingered on your lips until you realized the golden strands almost touching your arm and your mood went sour again. Thankfully or not, you could no longer hear the flirting, maybe the alcohol was being effective and numbing your eardrums.

“A pretty face like that cannot carry anything but a smile.”

Really, someone was about to get punched tonight and you wouldn't be responsible for your choices. What would it take for you to be alone and sad for a few minutes— “Oh,” you blinked at Emily, shoulders sagging in relief. “It's you.”

You saw her grin through the glass she was sipping on. “Don't act so excited.”

“It's not that.” You rolled your eyes. “I thought it was another asshole trying to get my number. I'm so done with men tonight.”

“Hey,” she raised her glass, mentioning your beer. As you did, you clicked them together. “Preach. We should kill all of them.”

You leaned on her arm, face splitting into a shit-eating grin. Yes, the alcohol was finally in your system. “Such a good idea I could kiss you for it.”

There was some cheering going around and when you looked back at the dance floor, Penelope was the center of attention. Hotch and Rossi looked like they were having the time of their lives watching the scene, while Blake cheered her on just as strongly as everyone else.

Sometimes, you wished you had Penelope's confidence. She'd walk into the room with colorful clothes and heels decorated by herself and she'd own it. That was your best friend. Spontaneous, strong and one of the best people you knew.

If you had half of that confidence you might have confessed your stupid feelings for the woman you were head over heels for. You had to watch her flirt with someone else right in front of you as if it didn't make your heart break because you wanted it to be you instead.

“Kiss me then.”

Spinning around to stare at Emily, you blinked confused. “Uh?”

“You said you'd kiss me,” Emily tilted her head, her dark strands slipping out from behind her ear and covering half of her face. “Do it then.” Her tone had a tinge of playfulness but even in your inebriated state, you saw the truth between the lines.

You'd never thought of Emily as more than someone you could share everything with. She's been your friend since you entered the Bureau, shy and isolated, she helped you get out of your shell and admit your true persona. She knew everything about you, even more than Penelope, your best friend. Being Queer was something that Emily had a lot to say about and it brought you two closer. To both of you, it was nice to speak without stepping on eggshells, fearing you'd be looked at differently by your friends.

You were aware she's beautiful. Of course you were, you're not blind. Emily Prentiss was powerful and she radiated grace wherever she walked. That's just something you never... thought about. You never thought that boundary could be crossed.

Until now.

“Do you really want me to?” You asked, glancing down at her shiny lips. Another thing you knew about Emily, she hates lipstick, her go-to choice would always be plain chapstick or lipgloss.

Emily brushed a strand of hair behind your shoulder, leaning forward. Your nose barely touching. “I wouldn't mention it if I didn't want it.” You smiled at that, just as you were about to close the gap between you and say fuck it for everything and everyone else that was in your head, a hand on your shoulder pulled your back, slightly startling you.

Emily blinks dazed at someone behind you, her face twitching in confusion.

But JJ says your name and you freeze, “A word, please?”

She walks away and you are conflicted on whether you should follow like a kicked puppy or stay with Emily and carry on with... Who are you kidding? This is Jennifer you're talking about. Is there any moment you've ever said no to her?

This is pathetic — you think, stumbling into people as you walked to the exit where you presumed JJ was going. She had vanished a minute ago and there were so many people you couldn't see where she went.

You're pathetic. She just interrupted your kiss with a pretty girl and you're following after her like a starved stray dog—unless. Unless something happened and she needed you.

“Jen,” you said carefully, finally outside the bar where she awaited you. You couldn't see her face because she had her back facing you. “Hey, you okay? Did something—”

“What was that?” She cut you off. As she wiped around to face you, you saw her flared cheeks. That could only mean two things: angry or drunk. She looked fine for someone drunk, different from you who was almost floating at your feet. She said your name again, this time more calculated. “You and Emily? When did that happen?”

A laugh of astonishment left your lips. Were you hearing it right? “Was that why you called me over here?” you really wanted to be sure before you blurted out something you didn't want.

JJ scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. That was one of the cutest reactions you find endearing about her, but now it just frustrated you. It frustrated you because you still found her cute despite her irrationality.

Focus!

Before you could spar anything back, someone bumped into you causing you to stumble forward, almost falling flat on the sidewalk if familiar arms hadn't held you in place. Her perfume reached you fast than two bottles of beer and five shots of tequila could ever do. The sweet smell of orange blossom made you almost melt in her arms. When you stepped back into reality, you noticed your head was on her shoulder as her whole body shook.

She was too busy yelling and gesticulating angrily at whoever had bumped into you to realize you were drunk on her perfume.

“Are you okay? The idiot was too drunk, he almost ran you over— Are you okay?” She repeated, tone softening at the end as she cupped your face and saw your unfocused gaze. “I think we should sit you down.”

“I'm fine,” you sputtered out, leaning into her touch absentmindedly. Why were her hands better than your pillow? You could sleep right there.

“Sure, you are.”

It took you five minutes for you to breathe into a new setting. One you knew too well, the discreet scent of strawberry she'd spray around. That was her car.

“JJ,” you said, rubbing your eyes tiredly. You should have drank more because you could feel yourself sobering up. “Why did you bring me here? Can't we just talk tomorrow?”

If you could avoid the inevitable, you'd do it while you could.

She stayed silent. You huffed out a breath of disbelief when you turned the side and saw her staring straight forward.

“Okay.” You spat, hand on the door handle. “I'll see you—”

“Don't leave.”

“Why not?” Your fist clenched in the handle. “You're acting like a child and I don't even know what I did.”

Letting out a long sigh, she said, “I'm sorry."

You hated the way your body reacted to her. Chest searching to cure whatever caused that tinge of sadness in her voice.

“What happened?” You inquired softly.

She shifted on the seat, raising both of her hands to pull her strands back.

“You did.”

If you hadn't sobered up before, you sure we're sober now.

“Me?” you croaked out, studying her in what you judged to be nonchalant but it was actually quite desperate. What had you done to make her upset? You barely spoke the entire night.

In fact, you were trying to take some distance from the blonde for a while. It was the healthiest option you found instead of reciprocating the casual compliments and innocent touching. Because JJ did those things but it was out of friendship. When you did them, you wanted more. You felt more. That had to stop. Once you fell, it was unstoppable. Free falling straight to the rocks. And you'd be the only one banged up in the process due to something you created in your own head.

But you already fell, didn't you? That's what you blurted out to Penelope an hour ago. You were doomed ever since she said Hi to you in the bullpen on your first roundtable meeting.

Either way, you took some space. Speaking only the necessary and exchanging point of view during cases. She didn't seem to care so you guess you didn't make a difference in her life. Did it hurt? Yes. But you wouldn't ruin what was left of your friendship.

“What did I do?” You bit your cheek, afraid she would throw at your face exactly what you were afraid of: she knew about your feelings and she didn't want to be around you anymore. She felt disgusted by you and—

“You mean what you were about to do.”

Your hand moved from the handle to your lap as you shifted your whole body to face her. “I— what?” What was she even talking about?

JJ heaved out a frustrated breath and her gaze finally met yours. It wasn't cold like when she had brought you outside, it was warm, like a volcano about to erupt in lava.

“God, you don't see it, do you?” Your face caved in confusion. “Why did it have to be Emily? And out of all the places you could do that did it have to be by my side?”

It was as if her anger had rubbed off on you instantly.

“What?” You snapped. “You're mad because Emily and I almost kissed by your side?” A humorless laugh escaped you, you didn't even care that she was bothered by what she had seen. You were mad because she interrupted you to screw with your mood. “Oh, I'm sorry, Jennifer. Did I interrupt your trashy flirting with Johnny Depp?”

Her brows reached her hairline in surprise. She isn't expected you to have any reason to be mad, but apparently, you were. Very much. You never called her Jennifer, it felt so wrong. She almost felt guilty.

No, she did feel guilty. Immediately after the words escaped her mouth. Why was she making you justify anything? You weren't her girlfriend. You weren't her anything. Just like she wasn't your anything.

“You really are a hypocrite, you know?” You carried on, jaw clenching. “You've been all over that guy and I had to watch the entire night — when I'm supposed to be having fun — and I'm just— I didn't say anything. Because I have no right to say anything. You can do whatever you want with your life and we're not—” you sucked in a breath, stopping some words from leaving your lips. “—it's not fair, JJ!”

JJ was speechless, completely taken aback by your garrulous speech. By how you ran out of breath, it looked like you had been bottling up all of that.

“And you know what? I won't apologize for what you saw. If you're bothered by the fact that I feel attracted to women—”

“Whoa, wait.” She almost got a neck twist at the insinuation, her whole armor falling. “You think I'm upset because I saw you kiss a girl?”

“You cockblocked the situation so I didn't get to kiss her—”

She completely ignored your jab. “This has nothing to do with you.” The look you gave her was enough for her to realize she has just messed up continuously. Really, she called you out here to argue about something that is entirely her issue. It might involve you — it most definitely does, you're the center of it — but it is not your fault. It's hers.

Jennifer Jareau is a hypocrite. She knows that.

“I couldn't care less about who you kiss or what your sexual orientation is,” JJ clarified. “I mean, if you ever feel comfortable talking about it— I'm all in for it. But I'm not— that doesn't bother me. That's not what I intended for it to sound like. I'm sorry.”

Your eyes skim over the features, searching for any sign of lies; the only emotion you were able to find was regret.

“I had a problem with who you were about to kiss,” she added quietly, munching on her lower lip. A couple crossed the street to reach the bar entrance, they were laughing and holding hands. Diverting her attention down to her hands, she started feeling bad about the situation. Acting like this — angry? That wasn't her. JJ wasn't impulsive nor did she go rough on expressing her feelings. She knew that alright. There's been a lot of times where she wore her heart on her sleeve but none of those times were regarding her love life. She's always been cautious, maybe because in the past, people haven't been cautious with her heart and she had to deal with it by herself. Alone.

Also, she wasn't sure about her feelings for you. Not until a week ago, when your absence started shadowing her days more and more.

JJ never fell in love with a woman before. Sure, she's had crushes and was attracted to some but. They weren't you. None of them were you. Somehow, when you came along, her life was flipped upside down. She wondered how could someone question all of their beliefs because of one person? When she met you, the question switched to how could someone not question everything because of one person?

Oh, but she fell hard. No parachute in sight and she was terrified of heights.

Between innocent touches on the shoulder, compliments and shared coffees in the morning, and the willpower to just protect you at all costs when you were in the field... something blossomed. And it couldn't have been anyone else.

That's the reason she was so mad when you and Emily almost... Yes. Not only that but how dare you ignore her for weeks and act as if you weren't doing it?

Did her absence in your life not mean anything?

“Did you and Emily fight?” You questioned, brows knitting together. “You looked fine this morning.”

JJ ran a hand through her face, “No, we didn't fight,” she let out impatiently.

“Then why—”

“Because I have feelings for you!” She blurted out. “And I wish it was me. I wish it was me who you were touching and giggling and blushing with, not her.” Okay. What was that thing about not being impulsive? In her defense, she wasn't like this before you barged into her life, so it was all on you. “I wish I was her, to be more specific and to just further bury myself under. I wish it had been me in her place.”

The softness of her voice revealed how apprehensive she was in saying that. You wanted to pluck out the lines of concern on her forehead, but at the same time, you thought you had gone crazy. You didn't hear JJ saying she wanted to kiss you, did you? Maybe you were still drunk.

“Are you going to say something?” Her voice was small and you blinked awake.

“I— I don't—”

“I'm sorry.”

Your breath halted.

“Why?”

JJ let out a shaky breath, shaking her head with a groan. “Because I just ruined everything.” Before you could protest, she carried on. “I made you think you had done something wrong and it was all me. I shouldn't have said anything, I'm just— I'm sorry—”

“Did you mean it?”

“... what?”

Your eyes traveled through her features, “What you said before.”

Swallowing hard, she avoided your eyes. “About my feelings? Yes. I wouldn't joke about that.” Something came to her mind and her back straightened slightly. “And also about not being bothered by your sexual orientation,” JJ said. “You're still you and that hasn't changed. It won't change. That would be pretty hypocrite of me, actually.” That last part fell from her lips as a whisper but you could hear it loud and clear.

You felt your throat closing up. “Really?” you asked, that kid in you that was rejected many times by her parents turned up on the doorstep of your brain. She was still scared. Still looking for acceptance.

“I love you the way you are, why would it change anything?”

Your heart stopped beating. Nothing could be heard around you, even though the windows were rolled down and there were few people on the streets, speaking loudly. The bar buzzes with loud music.

You didn't even know if you remembered how to breathe.

JJ seemed to be on the same page because she hadn't moved but her eyes were widened in shock. Taken aback by herself. She wasn't remotely drunk to blurt out stuff like that, the opposite actually.

“JJ—”

“I'm sorry, I didn't—”

“JJ,” you said shortly, making her shut up. “Stop,” you ordered even if she had already. The air was heavy, you could taste it bitter in your tongue. Your hand reached out to hers as you leaned closer as her throat bop up and down rapidly.

Jennifer's mind was juggling between multiple emotions but the moment your fingers brushed hers, it all became silent. It was impressive the way her body reacted to your touch. It slipped her mind from those days you barely exchange a good morning, she doesn't ever want to get to a point where she can't feel it.

“This isn't a joke, right?” Her gaze lifted to yours. God, had she been staring at your mouth this whole time?

“No,” she breathed out. “No, it isn't.” Her eyes dropped again, but she got it together in time. “That's not how I wanted you to find out. I'm not sure if I ever wanted you to find out...”

She watched as your lips twitched slightly and your tongue danced through them slowly. Expecting you to run to the hills as soon as she let the truth slip out, bewilderment reached her senses when that's what you didn't do. You stayed. And you were still there, staring at her, unmoving.

Until you retracted your hand from hers on the car seat to touch her cheek carefully. Your lips moved but she couldn't hear a thing.

“Uh, what?”

“It is okay if I...” She was nodding before you could finish speaking and her lips had crashed to yours in full force. Impulsiveness. That's all her. Then, she leaned back, covering her mouth, blue eyes widened when the reality of what she had done came.

You made a sound of protest because of the sudden withdrawal. When you saw her face, it was as if a bowl of cold water had dropped right above your head. She regrets it. She hates me now, she's—

“I'm sorry. I didn't even—I'm sorry, that was out of line, I didn't mean to— I'm so sorry.”

Tilting your head to the side in confusion, you questioned, “Wait, does that mean that you didn't want to kiss me or—”

JJ gave you a look of surprise, “I didn't know if you wanted it, which clearly is not the case and I'm sorry—”

Relief flushed your fear down the drain and you could finally feel the air entering back into your lungs. You started laughing uncontrollably. Feeling eyes burning in your side profile, you raised a hand in a silent request to wait until the fit reached a stop. A minute later, you were red, but you could speak.

Just as JJ started to apologize again, you shut her up by cupping her cheeks and closing the gap between your lips. Like she had done beforehand, albeit softer. Her eyelashes tinkled your cheeks and the baby hairs at the nape of her neck were being brushed by your nails, it didn't take long for her hands to start trailing down your arms. You felt her smiling into the kiss.

“You don't hate me?” she asked in between pecks.

You let out a hum, “I hate you so much—” another kiss “... that I can't stop kissing you.” JJ huffed out a laugh and you kissed down the blush in her cheeks. "I asked if I could kiss you first, silly." She mumbled something along the lines of oh, right.

“So, uh, wait, I—” She stuttered out and you leaned back. “About what I said before. I really am sorry. I was being an idiot. And of course, you can kiss whoever you want to kiss I was just—”

“Jealous?”

Her eye roll was the reply you needed.

“I don't know. Maybe.”

You pressed your lips together, “Okay.”

JJ lifted her eyes to you again, studying your features for a while. She had this unreadable expression from which you couldn't identify the meaning to.

“What?” you asked softly. She smiled, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Nothing. You're beautiful.”

You blinked, not expecting to hear that, which only made her grin widen. “It's not exactly how I imagined our first kiss to be.”

“Oh?” You mocked, recovering from the previous compliment. “So you've been imagining it?”

“Yes. More times than I can count.” She let her back rest against the seat, eyes never drifting from you. You had missed the feeling of her gaze on you, you had missed just admiring her daily. Now that she was there, in front of you, swollen lips and flushed cheeks — because of you — you didn't know what to do. It was too good to be true.

Did she love you as she said before? Was this just a one-time thing? Would she regret it in the morning?

So many questions you wanted answers to but you didn't want to leave that moment.

She called out your name gently, thumb drawing invisible patterns on your hand. “Hey,” she cooed. “What are you thinking?”

You shook your head, waving it off. “Nothing.”

Both of you chose to dive into silent touches and soft mumbling, just enjoying each other's presence. You didn't care about partying inside and a part of you felt smug that she chose you over that man sitting beside her at the bar.

She was playing with your rings, commenting on each one until you let out a groan and she looked up at you questioningly. You stared at the console, your lips turning down in a frown.

“What it is?” She asked, suppressing a grin. You looked cute acting so annoyed.

“There's too much space between us, Jareau. I don't like this.”

“I'm afraid that that's what happens when I'm in the driver seat and you're in the passenger seat, doll.”

Your nose twitched at the endearment and your face immediately flared up.

She grinned.

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” Her grin turned into a soft smile. She kept staring at you awaiting an answer in expectation, your eyes followed the spark of anxiety in her eyes and the ways her hands had become clammy on yours. No need to be a profiler to realize she was nervous. Not that you weren't about to hyperventilate yourself, but maybe her reaction meant that she wanted something more and not just tonight.

You weren't sure of that before.

“You really want to do this?” You brought one of her hands to your cheek, leaning into her warm palm. JJ stroked the spot softly. “I mean, do you want to—”

“Be something?”

You gave her a coy smile.

“I don't want to scare you off,” she added, intertwining your hands while leaning forward. “But, if you want to—”

“I do.” You cut her off, biting your lip once you realized you did. “I'd love to go on a date with you, Jen. You know,” you paused. “I don't know if that wasn't clear enough, but I feel the same.”

Laying her forehead on yours for a minute, you saw the corner of her lips quirk up slightly. “It'll take me a while to get my head around that.”

“I've been smitten with you for like... forever.”

“That is so not true!”

You gaped at her. “Yes, it is!”

JJ rolled her eyes, “If you say so.” Before you could retort stubbornly, she pecked your lips. “I do care an enormous amount about you, you know that?” I love you, actually. But that's too soon and I can wait to say it at the right time.

Your hand curled around her wrist as if you were afraid she would leave forever. She kissed your cheek, hand nudging out of your grip to intertwine your fingers in a swift motion as if she had read your mind and this was her way of saying I'm not going anywhere.

“I care an enormous amount for you, too, Jennifer Jareau.”

#criminal minds fanfiction #reader insert #jj jareau x reader #jj jareau x queer!reader #jj jareau imagine #wlw #jennifer jereau x reader #jj x reader

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tbhimnoteasyonmyself · 2 months

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9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know You Better

First of all, thank you Mickey (@thisautistic) for tagging me <3. Super thrilled that you thought of me for this!!

Now...

3 Ships You Like

1. Kimchay (Kinnporsche)

My babies. I want to protect them both. They're precious and perfect to be put in situations. A force strong enough to have me cooking a longfic after years of not writing a single one. Do I need to same more?? Absolutely obsessed 💜💜💜.

2. Pangwave (The Gifted)

Obligatory mention to my special little ADHD x Autism duo. Don't even arue that they're not canon, if you think that it's bc you missed very significant subtext, I suggest you rewatch this series. Pls and thank you. I will NOT take any criticism.

3. Sandray (Only Friends)

I knew from their 1st sex scene that I was down bad but their trailer sex scene just completely rewired my brain. Is their dynamic fucked up? Yes. Will they hurt each other along the way? Absolutely. But they're on their path to something better and I believe in them. Bc if Ray is deserving of love even after everything that went down then so are all of us. And there's that.

First Ship Ever

Larry Stylinson! (from One Direction)

Straight back from when I was 13, going strong! kskskskssksk I'm not so much there actively in the fandom anymore, but know that I'm there in spirit. sksksksksks Could never abandon the reason for so much change in my life! Good memories!!

Last Song Heard

Nooit Meer Spijt by S10

It's such a good song! I'm not Dutch or Dutch-adjacent but I was introduced to S10 by a friend of mine who's Belgian and I fell in love with her music ever since!

Favorite Childhood Book

A Fada Oriana (The Fairy Oriana) by Sophia de Mello Breyner Andresen.

It's about a fairy named Oriana that has to take care of a forest but one day, while looking at the river, meets a fish who talks her into neglecting the forest, which causes a lot of trouble. Then, Oriana, has to learn how to repair the damage she made.

It's a book about responsibility, consequeses, the importance of individual action and learning from one's mistakes.

Currently Reading

Património Cultural: Realidade Viva (Cultural Patrimony: Live Reality) by Guilherme d'Oliveira Martins.

It's a book about the preservation of patrimony in Portugal under the context of belonging in the European Union in the 21st century.

It's not a very interesting book nor scientific, just a summary of Portuguese and European laws for people who don't wanna read the laws (?). I wouldn't read it on my own but it's a mandatory read for one of my classes in my Master's so I gotta ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Currently Watching

23.5

I didn't know if I was going to but since GMM seems to be finally trying out more for the GLs, I feel like I need to show my support in this direction so I made the moral choice of watching as it airs to make it clear to them the audience for this is here and we want more of it!

So far ep.1 was super cliché and silly but I liked it a lot!! I want all the clichés for the girls too! Tired of seeing queer women suffer and die on screen...

2. 3 Will Be Free

It had been sitting on my watchlist for a while but I never gotten around to it for some reason... Nevertheless, my latest Wheel Decide™ for what to watch next landed on it, so... I'm watching it now!

2 episodes in only but I'm loving it a lot!! The plot's super interesting so far, really like the way they're going about it. Let's see where it goes!!

Currently Consuming

I'm gonna opt to mention the game I'm currently playing (besides Bloons TD 6, but I'm always playing Bloons, so... not news), which is Heaven's Vault by Inkle!

It's an extremely niche game, focused on figuring out an ancient language and, with it, the history of the world it's set in. It envolves robots, space travelling, discussions on xenophobia and religious intolerence and a lot more. I haven't finished yet but I'm loving the experience so far!

I understand it's not for everyone but I'm loving it!! <3 (not a Mickey D's reference, fuck Mickey D's)

Currently Craving

You know, I could go with bibimbap bc I really want some rn but I'm gonna go a bit deeper and say: after the terribleness of my last 2 relationships, all I really want is one that's not enirely chatastrophic. kskssksksksk That'd be pretty neat. kssksksk

So yeah... This was a lot of fun, actually!! I love to share stuff about media I like!!

Tagging @jukain4216 @lost-my-sanity1 @anthrotmnt @shannankle @defomin @aiyui @fiddlepickdouglas @tinysandwichstudent @sicknsadsicknrad @itsamzz28 @whomanist and any other of my lovely moots that hasn't directly been tagged but comes accross this <3.

All the love! 💜💜💜

#Mickey #tag game #tag games #get to know me

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marksluvr0 · 2 years

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black glasses and butter biscuits<333

chapter one ᕦʕ •ᴥ•ʔᕤ

jaehyun x fem reader

warnings: brief discussion of insecurities, Jaehyun is low-key obsessed with y/n lmfao

word count: abt 1.2k

y/n hated louder people, she hated them because they were always talking to someone, they were talking to their friends, laughing, having fun, and not caring who's listening because they're comfortable no matter where with their friends.

she craved for that kind of friendship, but she was a giant introvert. it wasn't that she wouldn't speak to anyone. it was that no one would speak to her, she always felt invisible and she hated it.

she especially hated the basketball team, they were so cocky and full of themselves, some of them would go up to her and talk to her as a joke, asking her inappropriate things that made her want to die, she basically avoids them at all cost.

so why does renjun ask her if she wants to come to his frats party, he knows all about how much she hates the basketball team, but he begs her.

renjun and y/n have the same major, which means almost all their classes are together, this made the two close friends. y/n's only other friends was a biology major, and she was popular. her name was bellie, she was the exact opposite of y/n and she never understood why they were best friends. bellie was popular and had so many friends, she hated most of them and was a pretty mean person in general, but y/n was her soft spot.

"i can't believe I'm going to this" y/n says aloud while holding up the outfit bellie picked for her, "i can't believe it either but hey, their parties are really fun." bellie exclaims.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

y/n links her arm through bellies, walking beside her into the house, it was loud, annoyingly, she prayed the neighbors didn't have babies but she could barely think over the music.

the smell of alcohol and mixes of perfume made her feel dizzy, she didn't know what weed smelt like but she's 100% sure she could smell it, bellie pulled her through the crowd and to the kitchen "do you want a drink" bellie shouts at her and y/n just shakes her head.

the party felt too overwhelming, never being in crowds like this was definitely taking a toll on her, she felt like an old woman, judging everyone's bad choices that they seem to think are the best they've made in their life.

bellie leads her to a couch, she wonders how bellie knows her way around but then remembers what an extrovert her best friend is, most of the time y/n wishes she was more like her, she was perfect, funny, smart, cool, and pretty, the only thing y/n could relate to was being smart.

it took a total of 2 minutes sitting together before bellie was pulled away by some of her other friends, making sure it was okay with y/n bellie instantly leaped up to follow her other friends.

distracted by an article on her phone, y/n got lost in her thoughts, bellie asked me if it was okay if she left but didn't even try to offer me to go with her, she was the one that insisted i come when renjun offered. maybe I'm just being dramatic. y/n thought to herself

"you came " renjun exclaimed and she looked up "i mean yeah i told you I was" she says, renjun leaning in for a hug, plopping down next to her right after "i thought you were just bullshitting me so i get off your back" renjun says with a smile.

"hey renjun do you know where the-" an unfamiliar voice to y/n starts, they lock eyes and he swears he almost pisses his pants.

jaehyun didn't know his library crush was coming to the part, if he did, he would've worn a better shirt and newer pants, he also would've styled his hair and a whole bunch of other stuff, but he didn't and she's there.

jaehyun doesn't really know when y/n first caught his eye, he's pretty sure he's been attracted to her since he first saw her.

she was wearing a colorful turtle neck sweater and jeans, she was walking somewhere with her canvas bag, he unconsciously followed her and ended up in the library, Jaehyun had only been there a few times before.

if it was anyone else he would've went straight up to them and used his charms, but the closer he got to her the more his palms became clammy and he felt anxiety bubbling in his stomach.

he decided against going up to her, ever since then he's been going to the library, he practically had her schedule engraved in his brain.

"did you need something" renjun asks, eyeing him. jaehyun instantly shakes his head "no i just wanted to hang out with you" Jaehyun quickly says, renjun looks at him weirdly, confused why, but nonetheless lets Jaehyun sit down.

renjun and y/n continue on about one of their classes, the whole time Jaehyun can't take his eyes away from her lips, she's so pretty, he thinks to himself.

"jaehyun, Jaehyun are you okay?" renjun almost shouts at him, Jaehyun nods, pulling his gaze away from y/n. "I'm gonna go play beer pong, wanna come?" renjun asks y/n, shaking her head saying she doesn't drink.

"why not" Jaehyun asks when renjun filters away "hm why not what" y/n asks "why don't you drink" "i do sometimes, i just don't like drinking what others serve y'know" she says and he nods, trying to fight his smile.

"are you in this frat" y/n asks, confused why he's spent so much time talking to her. "yeah yeah i am, I'm Jaehyun by the way, y/n right" he says, she practically feels her heart melt. they've never even talked but he knows her name, "well nice to meet you" she puts her hand out and smiles.

after getting to know each other a bit, y/n decides to start to leave, jaehyuns satisfied with himself, he spoke to her, knows most of her pet peeves and her favorite color, he even probably has her number.

wait no he doesn't‚ he realizes he got so caught up in asking her stuff, he forgot to ask the most important thing.

he rushes past the crowd, looking for her, she couldn't have possibly gotten that far, they were on the far side of the house and she was going to go find her friend first. he speeds through all the rooms downstairs and quickly runs outside for a second.

going back inside, feeling defeated, he quickly walks upstairs, bumping into someone on the way "Jaehyun" he hears y/n exclaim. "oh i was looking for you" he says, trying not to sound too excited but failing. "why" y/ns pretty smile flashes once again and jaehyun feels his heart beating out of his chest.

"i wanted to ask you for your number, or you can have my number, or not if you don't want, whichever" he rambles, cut off by y/n giving him her phone.

he puts in his number and shoots himself a message, after saying a quick goodbye again y/n leaves.

jaehyun walks back to his room, feeling proud and content.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n- so this was the first chapter lol, i don't think it was that that good but i hope the story gets better as it goes on, hope you all enjoyed!!

@ahtisa02 @pckeia @sstarrysshit @donkey-hyuck

#nct fluff #jaehyun x y/n #jaehyun fluff #nct jaehyun #nct renjun #jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #nct #nct au

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04dissection · 6 months

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hi, for ask game~ 1, 3, 4, 11, 16 for Muu and 2, 5, 7, 8 for Fuuta, please 💖

HI ANON!!!!! Thank you so much for the question! This gets hilariously long so under the read more it goes.

Content Warnings: Discussions of suicide

Muu Kusunoki

1. favorite song lyrics?

I think it'd probably be these lines from After Pain.

"If you're going to make me the villain / It's okay to ignore me / If it's endurance, I'm used to it / It's just having another taste of it."

With the added context of It's Not My Fault, and with After Pain being very solidly about events after It's Not My Fault, I suppose you can say this is a part of Muu's difficulties with ascribing fault to herself- actually, since you asked me about both of them, I find it so intriguing T2 seems to exemplify a sort of contrast of fault and guilt that 0304 as a duo has. Muu doesn't feel guilty nor at fault, Rei deserved it because of what she did to her, while Futa does feel guilty and admits fault(or at least seems to), and, in a way, you can make their motives similar: they did what they believed was right. Sorry, tangent over, continuing on.

I just personally love this line because of how it's sung and how it somewhat subverts us expecting to her to hit a higher note(it's been forever since I've actually done any music theory, so I don't know the terms).

To include a line from It's Not My Fault, I really like this one! (Using the translation from Fandom as much as I... dislike using it since I couldn't find who made the translation originally and as we know It's Not My Fault's official translation is... rough).

"Don’t ever hate me, and don’t look for what lies “after and from” the pain. / Wait, wait, it’s not my fault! / You get it, right? It’s you, after all. / What a relief. Can’t be helped. Since I’m always meant to be pitied-"

I adored her referencing After Pain here, and telling us not to look into it- literally telling the audience 'don't look into me <3 you said you don't hate me! so you don't have to look into me!' I specifically always like 'I'm always meant to be pitied.' This line really says a lot about Muu, and especially of how she acted in T1- though that was also partially and probably mostly from fear.

I need to mention, though, Muu's not a manipulator. Even if she tries to, her personality will get in the way of it. The thing with her is that she sees relationships as purely transactional and that the right thing to do is just to let people get their way. It's not that she doesn't care about Haruka, it's that to her, his threat was what he wanted to do, so why should she get in the way?

She wants us to pity her because we, the audience, made pity mean forgiveness- so if we fit that into her framework of relationships, wouldn't that mean that the transaction is her making us feel bad for her in exchange for being voten forgiven? I hope that's something that will come up in T3.

3. favorite non-mv official illustration?

I can just say the cake art, but I actually really like the third anniversary art- which is my profile picture.

But I adore it. It's a very unsettling piece, what this the spotlight lighting and all, and her expression is so wonderfully creepy. I love this art set a lot, it's great.

4. favorite minigram episode/moment?

Episode 22! Specifically the third panel on this page: (x)

It's such a funny little minigram and I adore this single frame of Muu holding Jackalope so much. I like to imagine that she had wanted to hold him since he popped up in the interrogation room during her first voice drama. And I can agree, rabbits are really nice to hold on your lap as long as you aren't stressing them out too much.

Fun fact, actually- the minigrams associating Muu with plaid(31 and 38) is actually the reason why I have the my blog background as the squares. They made me associate her with those square patterns.

11. what are your favorite points about their story and the narrative surrounding them?

Definitely how both her and Rei caused the downfall of the other, in a way. Both repaid aggression with aggression, with one case leading to months of intense bullying and the other leading to a murder. I'm not saying that these are equal, but that doesn't make either good things to do. Muu and Rei both turned that hourglass on the other.

I don't know, it gets to me how much they seem to have torn into each other and the length of time they did. Rei wasn't some completely innocent girl, and neither was Muu- They're both messy with ugly emotions and ugly truths and ugly actions. In the end, both were hurt and more than likely both dead because of the abuse they suffered at the hands of both each other and their peers.

16. how do you think they actually sing in regular life?

I haven't seen what she says on the karaoke cards so if I'm wrong I'm wrong- but I think Muu is an alright singer at best. Her range is.... abysmal to put it nicely and her voice can be rather squeaky at times. If she is able to stay in her range though, she has a rather pleasant singing voice. I imagine she used to sing more and used to have a better voice, but once she began to get bullied she slowly just stopped.

Fuuta Kajiyama

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

Something really gets me about this moment in Backdraft. Something about watching yourself repeat your mistakes, and remembering how gleeful you were doing it- you really just become sick from the joy you derived from awful things. At least that's my interpretation of it.

...As a weird aside, I ended up spending like, half an hour trying to see if there was a word in psychology for what I meant. I'm still figuring out a new search engine over google(playing with a bunch of different ones) so my results are definitely different feeling. But it did remind me of flashbulb memories, so I guess it wasn't for nothing.

I also should mention I love the fact that Bring It On is 4:04 minutes long. As you probably know, that's an error code!

"The server cannot find the requested resource. In the browser, this means the URL is not recognized. In an API, this can also mean that the endpoint is valid but the resource itself does not exist." (x)

5. favorite voice drama line/moment?

Braze You! at the start is just 4 minutes of Es tearing into Fuuta and it's beautiful. I think it's just nice to see Es having a good time, even if that's from harassing Fuuta.

But that's not my favorite moment- Braze You! is definitely very fun to watch, but Baptism of Fire is absolutely one of the best VDs we've gotten so far- with Fuuta calling Es out on the hypocrisy of our previous votes- why WAS Kotoko innocent and him not? While personally, I'd argue that it was dependent on how both were framed in their videos, Fuuta doesn't know about those. And anyways, he's right. We ARE doing this all for fun. Even if he got entertainment out of cancelling people, we're still not that much better than him- in his perspective at least. At the end of this day, Milgram is a work of fiction. There's a degree of separation from the events we can give ourselves, even if the characters attack the fourth wall with all their might.

7. favorite relationships with another character if they weren't in milgram, the way you'd imagine or would like them to be?

Oh this is a difficult one for me... I'll go with Fuuta and and Yuno. She likes messing with people a lot and I think it'd be funny. I adore when characters mess with other characters in a playful way. Yeah this is short, but Fuuta doesn't exactly give me a lot of lee-way with how he talks about everyone.

8. what is your theory for their crime? if there is general consensus on it in the fandom, do you have any other, not-so-widely-accepted thoughts on it?

I generally do believe in the consensus that Fuuta was part of some sort of online 'purist' group- named 'the dark triad,' very ironic name you guys- and seemed to start a campaign on Killcheroy that led to her death- with him doxxing her at some point due to how close she lived to him. I'm not entirely sure on the importance of Rumerie as of now, but I can say for certain that he is important- I mean, the graffiti in Backdraft is literally both Fuuta and Rumerie's online names intertwined- but he's important in some aspect that I just haven't figured out yet.

...While I don't have much evidence for it, I think my major divergence from common consensus is that Killcheroy did not commit suicide. If there's anything that's been obvious symbolism in this series, it's that it uses the practice of taking off your shoes before committing suicide to convey the action- please note that with Mahiru's boyfriend, Hinako, and Muu(Haruka does not participate in this, but he does have his atrocities against shoes). But notably, in Undercover:

Killcheroy Es has both their shoes on.

Undercover is a music video that definitely needs more examination(There originally was a Mikoto derailment here, but that's a different post), and this is one of those things- because Undercover doesn't lie- it might dramatize, such as showing Mahiru strangling Es while they stand in for her boyfriend, but that's in a way, right- Mahiru is here for the fact she directly led to her boyfriend's suicide. While you could argue and say that Fuuta has no idea what happened- and as such doesn't know if she committed suicide or not, as he says in Baptism of Fire:

I believe this is jumping to conclusions. We have to remember: Undercover is not Fuuta's song. It isn't even Es' song, they're just the conduit. This is the song of Milgram itself, I believe. And Milgram definitely is not restrained by real world law and theory. So far, all the bodies of Es as the victims roughly match to what happened- even Mikoto's, who is just plain unable to access the memory. So why would Fuuta's be different?

That argument aside, while I currently don't have a lot of basis for it as I'm still figuring out a lot of the details in Fuuta's case, I believe Killcheroy died from health complications exacerbated from stress- presumably a heart condition, as a lot of the blood in the Undercover art looks like it came from approximately the chest area. My evidence right now is that I made it the fuck up, sorry, but it's the main one I can think of since I really don't think she committed suicide.

#milgram #muu kusunoki #fuuta kajiyama #GET MAIN TAGGED ANON #💛#🌻#🍯#🔥#🐝#🌷#sorry this took like so many hours and it's so messy #but yeah i really think there's more to killcheroy's cause of death thanks to that shot in undercover.

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taggedmemes · 10 months

Text

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ SAINTS BLOOD by SEBASTIEN DE CASTELL / ch10 - ch18 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

'three against thirteen is terrible odds.'

'i wouldn't know. i've never had that much money.'

'you'll try to kill me, of course.'

'then you'll be dead /and/ embarrassed.'

'i know it isn't your usual approach, but i'd suggest you consider surrender.'

'the last time i surrendered to someone they tortured me until there was almost nothing left of me.'

'there's always luck. and red, bloody rage.'

'you're killing her.'

'i'm not sure if you've noticed but the bad men here are pointing weapons at us.'

'i really need to find a new job. one that doesn't involve swords.'

'you don't reason with mobs for the same reason you don't reason with hordes of fire ants: they're too stupid to understand what you're saying and eventually they'll just swarm over you.'

'try not to get torn to pieces.'

'this is what you do, you know.'

'you throw yourself into fights you have no real chance of winning.'

'it's the only thing i know how to do that ever works.'

'it's a /staff/, not a stick.'

'say there, friend, why exactly have you chosen to tie that nice fellow to a post?'

'you would attack an unarmed man?'

'that was a remarkably foolish gamble.'

'something you need to see, going to make your day a whole lot worse.'

'so how long have you been riding around with a corpse strapped to your horse?'

'help me get the ropes off, will you? my hands are still too numb; i was tied up for hours.'

'i just didn't have any faith any more.'

'he was, in fact, a son of a bitch.'

'he's a little slow sometimes, but he usually gets there in the end.'

'would someone /please/ tell me what we're talking about so i can decide if i care?'

'she wants to speak with you and that is the only gift left that either of us can give her now.'

'we pray in the shadows that we may summon the light.'

'well, i'd sort of had my heart set on an extended discussion of just how terrible you look, but if you insist, we can move straight on to how bad you smell.'

'now i remember why i liked you.'

'see, when you put it that way i don't sound very clever.'

'his desires cannot abide mercy. he will destroy it unless you stop him.'

'i suspect he despises a great many things.'

'the only thing the gods ever call any of us is fools.

'are you too busy sleeping with men for money to bring me some tea?'

'there are still things worth saving.'

'i would have spared you this if i could.'

'do not touch me with those hands, those hands of violence — hands meant only for holding swords and shedding blood.'

'you know i could kiss you right now, don't you?'

'oh well. i've been cursed plenty of times in my life and nothing too bad's happened yet, right?'

'"arsehole" is a terrible name for any beast.'

'your nervous griping is taking all the fun out of this trip.'

'maybe if we found you a proper weapon you wouldn't feel quite so scared all the time.'

'of course you'd rather sleep out in the cold.'

'i hear the call of music, a soft bed, women and, most importantly, beer.'

'you can /hear/ the beer?'

'and here i thought you were on a mission to get drunk and bed the local schoolteacher.'

'i can do more than one thing at a time. i'm ambidextrous.'

'how about, instead of pining here in your little room, you go down there and be a fucking man for a change?'

'go ahead and tell me what's wrong with me.'

'of course some of it's real. i mean, it's a giant pain in the arse, so it has to be real.'

'walk in like a man, mind you, not some shade of the long dead.'

'if you're both so fucking cursed then i'm sure lightning will strike you down.'

'dancing. well there's a tactic that never occurred to me.'

#saints blood #sebastien de castell #rp meme #fantasy rp #inbox meme #starter sentences #sentence meme #roleplay meme #rp starters

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tartrazeen · 2 months

Text

You know what sucks?

DR2's case 3 gets so much guff from people for sucking (and it does lmao) when we were actually on the verge of an INCREDIBLE rebuttal from the killer:

Saying Hajime did it.

Let's go right up to the part where Mikan is about to slip up with that camera angle thing. But instead of saying that, she just breaks down into tears.

"You're a bully, Hajime," she sobs. "Worse than anyone I've ever met! Maybe Hiyoko was mean, maybe everyone I grew up with beat me up, but you! You're the one who turned the only friends I've ever had against me!

"And you were a bully from the very start. You never let me use any of my conversation starters. You used that embarrassing photo of me against Teruteru even when I begged you to forget about it. Now you have everyone convinced that I'm some sort of killer?!

"They all believe you, too. You're so nice, Hajime. Everyone likes having you around. They'll believe anything you say. I used to think you were nice too - that's why I felt safe enough to wake up with you in the morning. That's why I trusted you when you said I was your alibi!

"But I was wrong. We were all wrong. We should never have believed you. Not when you used that trust against me. That alibi was actually your plan to frame me, wasn't it? And you used that trust against everyone else, too.

"Tell me this, Ultimate Liar. Why were you the only one who saw this supposed video? Why should any of us believe it was even real?!"

Cut to Hajime trying to say that video was real, and Mikan demanding proof of it. The most he can say is that it's how he knew to go to the music venue.

The others try to ask why the conference room and music venue were made to look like each other.

"HA! Is that all you have to say? If you were the killer all along, of course you'd know to go to the music venue! The video simply gives you a convenient excuse."

"Isn't it obvious? That was his back-up plan. Just like Peko and her fake serial killer persona, Hajime had his fake suicide video! He set that up in advance knowing he could always blame the only other person who'd be in the hospital - me!

The others would start asking how Hajime would ever have the time or opportunity to set up such an elaborate alibi.

"In the end, I was once again the target of a big, mean, hateful bully!"

"You all think I had enough time, don't you? Weak, clumsy, dumb, pathetic Mikan, suddenly able to kill two people under all of your noses!

"Now it's too complicated?! Now it can't be Hajime?!

"I might be the Ultimate Nurse, but I had three patients to care for! Nobody else stayed to help me, and the hospital was empty! With Fuyuhiko back at his cottage and the others quarantined in the motel, why wouldn't Hajime have all the time he needs to dress up both rooms?

Assuming the class gets tangled up in this enough to realize Hajime has just as much opportunity as Mikan, right down to having the same alibi, it'd be up to Chiaki or Nagito (probably Chiaki) to mention Hiyoko's death. Even if Hajime knew Mikan was busy caring for three patients, and even if he volunteered just to watch how busy she was, and even if he used that information to plan a back-up alibi, there's no way Hajime would have been able to pull off the imitation murder. They've already discussed it: Hajime hadn't seen Monokuma's film until the investigation started, and it isn't like anyone told him what happened -

"And with Nagito in such critical condition, of course I couldn't leave his room! No one knew that better than Hajime, who volunteered to get in my way throughout the day!! Then spent the rest of the night framing me for a video that doesn't exist!!"

"Oh?! Oh oh oh oh oh? What's this I hear? More trust in Hajime, more doubt in Mikan?

Cue the surprise about that, and Hajime's immediate attempt to counter it by saying Ibuki couldn't have -

"'Nobody told him what happened' - is that all you have left? Empty guesses? Because I know someone who could have told Hajime everything about that film: Ibuki."

"Couldn't have told you? Oopsie, looks like someone forgot Monokuma's motive! Ibuki had the Gullible Disease, didn't she? That means you could have made her watch the film, then made her tell you what happened.

"When do you think that could have happened, Hajime? Right after you slashed Hiyoko's throat, but before you strangled Ibuki? Did you need one final alibi to clean up after your mess?"

The timing, as improbable as it is, still checks out. Hajime had all night to do this, according to Mikan. Who's to say he didn't stop in the middle of his murders to watch a horrible film for inspiration? After all, the real killer left Ibuki hanging there for who knew how long.

"The worst part is that you undid everything I tried to do to help. Ibuki was starting to recover, but you strangled her - and tried to blame me, with my weak little arms! You made the concert hall so hot that I couldn't perform a good enough autopsy! You told me to take a rest at the same time you conveniently saw this supposed video, and used that as proof that I had time to make it!"

Nobody else has their ticket (that's why Nagito told Hajime to keep his) and Monokuma isn't telling anyone who's seen anything. All Monokuma will say is that Hajime put on a biiiiig show of buying a sticker to not see a movie that he ended up watching anyway!

The doubt should really be falling onto Hajime as everyone starts to wonder if this is true. Mikan is just such a perfect victim, and with how busy she was caring for the others, could she have really had the time to set up anything so elaborate? It looks more and more like Hajime or Mikan could have equally been the killer, and it's all coming down to who they simply trust more.

This is when Nagito would actually step up. There'd be a long silence before he asks why Monokuma told them Hajime bought that sticker. Back at the movie theatre, Monokuma wouldn't tell Hajime or Nagito who bought that tote bag. That was because the killer bought it. Doesn't that mean Hajime isn't the killer?

Monokuma laments his big mouth, but says Nagito isn't going to deduce his way into another hint like he did with the body discovery announcement. The reason Monokuma told them who bought the sticker but not who bought the tote bag was obviously because the tote bag was more important to the killer's plan!

But from what Mikan is saying, the killer purposely attempting to prove they hadn't seen the film yet would have been a big part of the plan. Crucial, even, because up until then, everyone assumed Hajime had seen the movie! Who on earth would pay $1.5 million for such a cheap sticker to avoid it? And even if it hadn't been the killer's plan from the beginning, it would've certainly been at the core by the time of the trial. So why does telling them who bought the tote bag reveal the killer's identity, but not the sticker?

What I like about that is how it gives Monokuma more of a reason to stop the Monokuma Announcements in the next chapter. Right now, it's kind of arbitrary. But if he got 'tricked' into revealing even more hints because he kept blabbing during the trials and investigations - with even Monomi chiming in to say all his insults did this to himself - then I could easily see him being like, "You know what? Fine. For this Fun House, you're completely on your own. No hints, no announcements, nothing."

But I also like that it corners Monokuma into admitting that the sticker isn't important to the killer's plan in the same breath as affirming the tote bag is. So reasonably, you could write your way back to the same Panic Talk Action and keep "Theatre Bonus Prize" as the same answer. :)

Anyway, the real goal is to have a trial where you know you didn't do it, but it's genuinely your word over somebody else's. With a theme of this being that they don't 'really' know anything about each other, so they can't 'really' trust each other, it'd throw a lot of those character dynamics into the air. The very next chapter has Kazuichi believing Hajime's the traitor, and then Hajime finding out he doesn't actually have a talent while also holding back everything else Nagito learns about them. I wanted more stuff building towards that theme...

... and I wanted Mikan to use the rebuttal that was RIGHT!! THERE!!

She's taking care of three people and is super tired and the autopsy is ruined and she's so frazzled and no one else saw this video and Hajime had the same opportunities WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST ACCUSE HIM OF FRAMING HER?! He had nothing to defend himself with until she talked about the stupid camera angle! THAT'S SO LAME!!

#danganronpa #dangaronpa 2 #mikan tsumiki #dr2 #danganronpa 2 spoilers #my stuff #good job tartra

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sezja · 2 years

Note

not realizing they’re holding hands till someone points it out

(Don’t block me)

Touches Prompts

"We must keep this... quiet," Sanson cautions him while they walk - of a certainty, it would be quicker to teleport to Quarrymill and from there make their way to Jehantel's camp, but by silent accord they'd set out to walk the entire distance to the South Shroud. The quiet of the forest is its own privacy; the squirrels and treants give little care for the personal lives of two passing men. They may speak frankly.

And they have a good deal to speak about.

"Quiet, sure, but keeping it a secret from Jehantel?" Guydelot shrugs, shaking his head in incredulity. "You reckon he won't see it from a malm away? When last he saw us, we were at each other's throats." He grins, elbowing Sanson. "Now I've been at your throat in a different sort of way-"

"Guydelot! This is serious." Sanson looks away, too late to hide the blush creeping into his cheeks. But this is why they must discuss this while out, after all; any attempts to have a serious conversation at home invariably devolve into kisses stolen between words, and then the kisses grow deeper, and then... well. Getting out of the house is necessary.

Although Sanson isn't entirely convinced Guydelot wouldn't be just as content to take him against one of these trees-

Focus!

"We are in a delicate situation," he says, clearing his throat. "If I am to be your commanding officer, I cannot also be your lover in the eyes of the general public, let alone our superiors. They will accuse me of granting you special privileges - or of manipulating you from my position of power-"

"They've got a point there," Guydelot teases, tracing a line across Sanson's back with one finger. "I reckon I'd do just about anything for you when you're on top."

"Guydelot!"

The bard laughs, bright and musical, and it makes Sanson's heart stutter. The man has a beautiful laugh, rich as honey, and it makes Sanson want to kiss him again, the better to taste that sweetness on his own lips. But Guydelot raises his hands in surrender, putting half a step of distance between them as they walk. "Alright, alright. I won't tell Jehantel, but I'll be stunned stupid if he don't guess."

They walk on, passing into the shaded silence of the South Shroud. Wary antelopes dart away from the path, watching from the tall grass, and the boughs rustle high overhead - 'tis no great challenge to see why Jehantel favors it here. The Shroud has a music all its own, and the southern reaches are perhaps the most untamed - home to poachers and swamps and the ruins of Amdapor.

And one bard.

"Ah, there you are!" Jehantel greets them warmly as they reach his camp at last, drawn by the plucking of his harp. Even his idle melodies are enchanting, Sanson muses, as the three of them exchange greetings - it makes him wonder just how Guydelot's own songs will sound in a decade, or perhaps two...

"But come, I am eager to hear of your tales," Jehantel says, and Sanson realizes with a guilty start that he has been staring at Guydelot, lost in daydreams. By the Matron, if he means to keep this a secret, he must get a better hold on his own self-control!

"What, Eve didn't tell you all you could possibly hope to hear of it?" Guydelot drops comfortably to a seat on the ground, legs crossed. After a moment's hesitation, Sanson sits beside him - well, where else is he meant to sit? Nothing suspicious about that, surely.

Jehantel smiles at them both, and Sanson wonders, abruptly mortified, just how much Evelynn had told her mentor about their journey - and its conclusion. But all Jehantel says is, "Aye, but I should think it a tale worth telling twice, wouldn't you?" He sets his harp aside, folding his weathered hands in his lap. "I would hear it from you both."

They exchange a wordless glance.

Sanson draws a deep breath, and begins from the beginning, with their departure from Gridania. He allows Guydelot to take over the tale of finding and speaking to Ser Alamenain... and so it goes, weaving their stories together, making something coherent of the fragments they each carry of their adventure.

There are holes, of course.

I don't know how to tell the story where I fell so deeply in love with you, he thinks, gazing at Guydelot once more. Not without telling him I'm in love with you.

He recognizes the same hesitance in Guydelot's own side of the story - and the telltale glances he tosses Sanson's way, before he catches himself and looks away once more. He is, in Sanson's far from unbiased opinion, far more convincing at it; he himself might not have guessed that only a short time ago Guydelot had been flirting and teasing him all the way from Gridania's very gates, had he not experienced it firsthand.

"...And thus did we return home," Sanson concludes, as their tale winds its way to a close, climaxing with the fight against the siren in the Sea of Clouds, and the truth of the Ballad of Oblivion. Well, he can hardly tell Jehantel they'd kissed nigh the entire flight back, nor that he'd taken Guydelot home with him that very night, and for all three of the nights since; he doesn't wish to tell Jehantel that they very well ought to have made it out to visit him sooner, but that they'd spent every free moment together instead - talking, kissing, and inevitably falling into exploring each other, until suddenly there was no time to visit Jehantel at all.

There is a glimmer in the aging bard's eyes, however.

"Are you quite certain you've told me all there is to tell?"

"Everything as matters," Guydelot replies, sounding mildly affronted. "Why? Did Eve tell you different?"

"No, your story is much the same as Eve's," Jehantel says... and then his eyes drift downward. "'Tis only that I suspect you've left something out."

Something...? Sanson follows the line of Jehantel's gaze... to his own hand, joined with Guydelot's. At some point during their story, their hands had entwined without their knowing; he sees the same realization dawn on Guydelot's face - and they hastily let go. Sanson clasps his hands together demurely in his lap. "I... that is, we-"

"Found common ground?" Jehantel smiles, a wealth of knowing in his voice. "I confess, though I hoped you might become friends, I never suspected-"

"No one can know of it," Sanson says hastily, all too aware of Guydelot's I-told-you-so smirk at his side. He'll not hear the end of this, he's sure of it. "If Guydelot is to be a member of my unit, then-"

"I won't breathe a word of it." Jehantel picks up his harp once more, strumming a reassuring tune that puts Sanson's mind at ease. "Although, if you mean to keep it a secret... you'd best practice keeping your whole hearts out of your eyes, lads."

#sanson smyth #guydelot thildonnet #jehantel #my writing #do i write too much about the awkward early days of their relationship?#maybe.#but i like exploring it #(also why would i block you; you keep me fed)

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welldonebeca · 1 year

Text

Simple and Plain

Summary: “I don’t want to talk cause it makes me feel bad. But I understand you’ve come to shake my hand.” Daemon tries to talk with Rhaenyra about their past. She isn’t ready yet. (Also, Rhaenyra and Laenor doing bedtime with the boys). WC: 2.1k words Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Hurt/Comfort. Family fluff. Modern AU with the Targaryens. Singing.

Masterlist

Rhaenyra breathed in deep, grateful for the silence in the dining room as she felt the eyes right on her back. This wasn't her house anymore, she couldn't stop people from walking around. But at least everyone was respecting her request for a silent hour, and she was grateful as she brushed Jace's hair back as her son drew a picture, sitting on her lap.

Daemon was watching them from the living room.

"That's a nice picture, Jacaerys," she heard by her side.

She raised her eyes, finding him sitting on the seat next to her on the table.

He'd been following her for nearly the whole day now, eyes so heavy she was surprised no one had come to ask them about it. It wasn't like anyone knew the truth, she had only told Laenor.

They had yet to talk alone. Not that Rhaenyra wanted to talk to him, no. She wasn't bitter, but she wasn't happy.

He had left her, and the past was in the past. Why bring it up?

What else was there to say?

"It's mama," Jace pointed at the stick figure with white blonde hair. "And this is daddy. And me. And Luke."

She smiled, kissing his temple.

It was their calm-down time. The boys went to bed early every night, so as soon as 7 pm rolled in, she and Laenor started a calming routine. No TV, not much music... just cuddling and doing slow things. She had already bathed her oldest, and Laenor was doing so to Luke then.

"Do you think I could keep it?" Daemon asked. "You know, your cousins always ask a lot about you two. They like you very much, I think they would love to have a picture of everyone."

Jace lit up, looking at him very excitedly. He loved Baela and Rhaena, all four of the kids were so close.

"Of course!" he exclaimed. "Can I write my name on it too?"

Daemon nodded.

"I think you should," he told him. "Then we can know it was you who made this gorgeous picture."

He smiled, taking the orange crayon, slowly writing his name.

"Ja-cae-" he spoke slowly. "Rys. With an A and a E."

She smiled.

"Yes."

Jace looked at Daemon.

"Because Luke's name doesn't have an A," he explained to him. "Only mine does."

Her uncle nodded, either feigning interest or genuinely caring about it.

"I will remember that," he told him.

They fell into silence again as Jace added the Targaryen and Velaryon surnames after his name, breaking them when he ran out of her space in the paper.

Undashed. Two kids in, and Rhaenyra and Laenor were still discussing that bit.

"Where are the girls and Laena?" she asked.

Why wasn't he with them?

Daemon looked at her.

"Laena is bathing them. I told her I wanted a minute to talk to you. We haven't had a moment to ourselves since your wedding rehearsal."

Rhaenyra buried her nose in Jace's hair.

Yes, they hadn't talked since then.

She remembered the night very clearly, how he said he wouldn't run away with her. That he couldn't.

Rhaenyra remembered how he had kissed her and left, and Laenor was the one who found her, broken as she cried and sobbed like she hadn't since her mother's death.

Her mother was dead, her best friend was married to her father, and the only person she thought loved her had left!

Laenor was the only one she had. Her only friend, the only one she could count on. They were a team.

"We have nothing to talk about," she decided.

But Daemon didn't even move.

"No, I think we have a lot to talk about."

She glared at him, ready to correct him once more, but she could see Laenor emerging from the corridor.

"Alright, my loves," he looked at her. "It’s 8 pm."

Rhaenyra relaxed and Jace pouted on her lap.

"Eight already, daddy?" he asked, half-whining. "Are you sure?"

Laenor shrugged.

"Sorry, love. I don't control the time. But you can check for yourself. Do you happen to have a watch, Daemon?"

Her uncle turned to look at him, and showed off his wrist to Jace. It was digital, thankfully. Her boy couldn't quite read analytical clocks.

"He's right," he told him. "8h01."

Jace pouted, but sighed.

"Alright," he agreed, setting his crayons down. "Good night, Uncle Daemon."

Daemon smiled back at him.

"Good night, Jace."

Her son stood, and she stood along with him.

Laenor was the one who brushed their teeth at night, but she couldn't stay there with him.

"Rhaenyra," Daemon called.

"Good night, uncle," she looked at him. "I need to put my sons to bed."

He sighed behind her.

"Ñuha dāria," he spoke softly.

The nickname made her throat knot up, but she just continued walking after Laenor.

Her husband took her hand without even thinking about it, the two walking together up the stairs to the family wing.

"Are you alright?" Laenor asked softly. "Do you want me to put him back into his place?"

She chuckled.

Laenor putting Daemon into his place?

She couldn't quite see that. Her husband was too sweet for that.

"Thank you," she rubbed his arm. "But I'm alright. Don't worry."

Laenor simply nodded, walking to the bathroom, and she chuckled when she found Luke sat on the toiled, kicking his legs and humming a little song to himself.

"Daddy!" he looked at them, sounding very happy. "Mama!"

"Luke!" she giggled back.

He clapped.

"I'm done," he told them.

Laenor just raised his eyebrows at her and Rhaenyra chuckled.

Motherly duties.

Ten minutes later, the boys were cleaned, Jace had used the bathroom and everyone’s teeth - including Rhaenyra's and Laenor's - were brushed.

"Daddy," Jace called as Laenor was about to leave the room. "Can you be the one to snuggle me?"

He stopped for a moment. Rhaenyra was the one who usually put the kids to bed, her schedule meant that she would leave the house too early before they were awake, and Laenor took over it.

But they were both free the whole week, they could both do bedtime and wake-up time.

"Of course," he agreed. "Do you want me to lay in bed with you or sit on the floor?"

"On the bed, please."

At home, the boys each had their room. Luke would go to bed a little earlier, at seven-thirty, and Jace at eight-thirty, but this wasn't their home. The boys were put in a single bedroom together, and Luke would certainly wake up if they went through the sleep routine with Jace. So, they had to find a common ground. Luke would have an extra half an hour, Jace would get some extra snuggles… everyone could sleep in, too, if they wanted to.

Laenor lay down, and Rhaenyra couldn't resist Luke when he made some grabby hands at her, asking for cuddles.

"Mama, can I have a tiny bit of milk?" he asked, giving her big pleading eyes. "To sleep."

She sighed. No chance of weaning that one any time soon.

"Of course, honey. Do you want to lay on me a little?"

He nodded, and Laenor chuckled from his bed.

"I told you we would use the pump," he hummed, brushing Jace's hair softly.

He had packed it up, saying she would absolutely need it.

Luke had a strong preference for her right side. He always left the other one aching and full once he was fast asleep.

"Thank you," she pulled her top down, and her son threw himself on her.

The room fell a little into silence, and she could hear the distant sound of very soft steps.

Father's steps were heavy, Alicent's were careless, and Laena's were very relaxed.

This was Daemon.

She sighed. Gods, he wouldn't give up without a fight?

"Mama?" Jace called, getting her attention to him. "Can you sing now?"

She smiled a little.

"What do you want me to sing?" she asked him.

Her son shrugged, yawning.

"I like your sad songs," he spoke softly, putting his face in Laenor's neck.

She chuckled a little. Oh, she had many sad songs.

Rhaenyra always sang for them, since they were babies. It made them sleep very quickly.

"I don't wanna talk about things we've gone through," she moved her fingers to Luke's hair. "Though it's hurting me, now it's history."

Jace smiled into his father's chest, and Laenor rested his head on the pillow, curled around him in the small bed.

"I played all my cards, and that's what you've done too," she smiled at Luke, who still had his eyes wide open. "Nothing more to say, no more ace to play."

She was surprised when Laenor sang the chorus before she did.

"The winner takes it all, the loser standing small," he hummed. "Beside the victory, that's her destiny."

Rhaenyra breathed in deeply, seeing the slight shadow by the door, tall and stiff.

Daemon.

"I was in your arms thinking I belonged there," she looked at Jace, hidden in Laenor's chest. "I figured it made sense, building me a fence."

She brushed Luke's curls, breathing in his scent again, the lyrics just stinging her.

Gods, when father said she was to marry Laenor and she had no way out without being cut off, Rhaenyra was just lost. She thought she could run away, she thought she would run away.

Daemon had a life in Valyria, he had his own money and they were so close. He gave her everything, he told her all the right things and said he loved her.

He said he wanted to marry her, but when he had to choose between her and her father, Daemon chose him!

'Viserys is my brother,' he had said. 'I've been away from him for too long, our relationship just got back to what it was before. If we run away he won't ever want to see me again.'

"Building me a home, thinking I'd be strong there. But I was a fool, playing by the rules..." she sighed.

Alicent had chosen her father for the security marrying him brought her, or at least it was what she had told Rhaenyra.

And she expected her to be happy about it, that she had found a man she wanted to marry her and could give her the life she deserved.

As if he was just that, a man who she felt attracted to and could marry for his money and position, and not the father of her best friend!

When her mother had died, Rhaenyra had clung to her.

When Alicent then turned her away, she had clung to Daemon.

And then Daemon turned her away when she thought she had found safety and security.

"The gods may throw the dice, their minds are cold as ice, and someone way down here loses someone dear," Laenor sang and she closed her eyes, trying to bury the memories again. "The winner takes it all, the loser has to fall. It's simple and it's plain, why should I complain?"

They fell into silence, and she hoped the boys had fallen asleep, but Luke squeezed her shirt, and Jace moved from his father's chest to look at her. They were sleepy but very much awake.

"But tell me, does she kiss," she felt a single tear in the corner of her eye, sliding down her cheek. "Like I used to kiss you. Does it feel the same when she calls your name?"

She heard the little take in of breath, and the shadow moved the smallest bit.

Rhaenyra would never dare to put herself against Laena. She loved Laena so much.

Daemon knew that.

"Somewhere deep inside you must know I miss you," she squeezed Luke, smiling through it. "But what can I say? Rules must be obeyed."

"The judges will decide," Laenor took over. "Their likes of me abide. Spectators of the show always staying low. The game is on again, a lover of a friend. A big thing or a small, the winner takes it all."

Rhaenyra looked down, finding Luke's eyes closed and his mouth open.

Asleep, at last.

"I don't wanna talk," she looked at the door, the message as clear as she could give it. "Cause it makes me feel sad. But I understand you've come to shake my hand."

Silence.

They didn't continue the song.

Laenor pulled himself away slowly, covering Jace as she did the same to Luke, and she adjusted her clothes as her husband crossed the room, opening the door very slowly.

Their bedroom was right in front of this one. It used to be her bedroom, and the boys' room was her study room. Her father had asked her to redo it, so she could stay there with Laenor and have the boys near, but still a door away - as to not disturb romance or something. They were the only rooms Alicent couldn't touch at all.

Her husband walked into the room before she did, and Rhaenyra turned to her side to find Daemon far from the light, watching her, quiet.

She braced herself, waiting for him to come after her. It was still early, still another two hours until the hour she usually took to bed. Alicent and Laena could be drinking wine and eating cheese somewhere, but she had no energy for that now.

But Daemon didn't approach her, turning away and to the stairs, her message understood, at last.

Rhaenyra walked into the bedroom, at last, relaxing.

"Do you want to watch something?" Laenor offered. "You look like you could some cuddles, and I got Mamma Mia.”

She chuckled. Oh, how fitting.

He always knew what to do, didn’t he?

"I do," she agreed. "I could use some love and Meryl Streep."

He smiled, digging through their things and pulling the blue rays he'd packed for them, knowing too well they would be in this situation, and took her pump too.

She sighed, sitting on the bed, and watched him as he set the things up as the machine worked on what was left of her milk.

Laenor changed and took the bottle from her to put in the small fridge by the bed as she dressed up. They would use it to make Luke's breakfast, or Jace’s. Or Laenor's too; he didn't quite mind adding breastmilk into his diet once they had two kids under 18 months old in the house.

They were in their sleeping clothes when they went to bed, and she was grateful when his arms wrapped around her as the light of the TV lit up the room.

"Ready?" he asked softly, squeezing her tightly.

"Yeah," she rested on his shoulder. "You can start it."

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