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notnctu · 3 years

Text

POV | PART TWO

━ ❝ i’d love to see me from your point of view.❞

❀ lee donghyuck x fem!reader ❀ genre - slow burn, fluff! angst, (optional smut is marked with ****) ❀ details - best friends to lovers!au, college!au, ft. best friend mark, slice of life?, inspo by pov by ariana grande ❀ word count - 6.1k ❀ warnings - swearing, dangerous reckless behavior, fingering, penetration, public?sex?, unprotected, slight dirty talk ❀ synopsis - Donghyuck gradually falls in love with you, his best friend, through unprecedented intimate moments that reveal more than what meets the eye and a drunken shared kiss on your birthday makes him realize how hard he’s fallen for you. You’re oblivious to it all, trying to indulge and seek a one true love through bad tinder hookups or men you meet at the club, all to only end in self doubt that Donghyuck has to reconcile. And he always tells you what you need to hear, while also leaving out the part where he so badly wishes you can love yourself the way he loves you.

❀ a/n - make sure you read the first part as it’s a continuation! please please leave me feedback, i would really appreciate it :) this is going to be my last long fic for the time being! thanks for dealing with my spam for the past few weeks after months no of writings <3

READ PART ONE

Donghyuck thought about that kiss every night since it happened, yet knowing you didn’t do the same. How unfortunate it was, when he panicked waking next to you in the morning and wondering if you were to confront him about it. However, there was nothing, no follow up. You didn’t remember it and he couldn’t tell if the sigh that left his mouth that morning was out of relief or despair.

Regardless, that became his epiphany and the more his love for you grew, the more he wished to be around you for all his days. Donghyuck jumped at every text message, picking up the phone to see if it was you and noting the disappointment in his heart whenever it wasn’t. He found himself smiling whenever your name was brought up, fondly thinking of how you make his heart race.

The moments that you were together, he swears on every universe that he’s the happiest he’s ever been. There’s something about you that makes him want to believe in love, and it’s not because of your unrealistic desires to find one. As selfish as he came to be, he wanted you all to himself and to be the sole reason behind your smiles.

“No Mark?” Asking as you hop into Donghyuck’s car, the clock on his dash reading the red digital numbers 2:12 A.M.

“Why can’t we just hang out for once?” He whines, but hopes that it’s playful enough to where you can’t tell that he’s actually serious. Donghyuck hears your melodic chuckle and everything inside him rumbles with glee and satisfaction.

He steals quick peeks over at you in the passenger seat, greedily taking in your appearance. “That’s not exactly how a throuple works, but I’ll let it pass. Mark never has time for us anyways.”

There is something so intimate about the late nights; the outside world is dead in its sleep and vulnerable to chaos. The streets are completely empty and it truly feels as if it’s you two against the city. It brings no regulations, easy escapes, staying up all night to feel something the day can’t give you.

You are the perfect person to spend them with. You’re the very definition of a good feeling, where he’s forgetting all his bad days and soaring through the heavens. The most accurate human form of excitement, the adrenaline and sweetest thrills that run throughout his body.

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to do…” As Donghyuck pulls into a gas station parking lot, the small convenient store is brightly lit with a blinding white sign that reads a popular chain establishment.

Hyuck blinks at you curiously, head tilt and waiting for you to finish your sentence. Getting out of the car, you stand on your toes and rest your chin on the roof of his car to speak directly to him, “you know that big intersection over on 34th Boulevard?” He catches the mischievous twinkle that shines in your eyes and a grin so fearless fits your face perfectly.

He nods, spinning his car keys on his finger and walking up to the store. But he’s looking back at you with eyes that ask for you to proceed with him, and you’re running towards him with a sudden youthful energy and a jump in your step.

Your hand latches onto his arm and his gaze drops momentarily to follow it, “I’ve always wanted to just run down the middle of it. To run down a busy traffic area when it’s empty, knowing that this would be the only opportunity to do it without getting run over.”

“Is that what you’re suggesting we should do next?” Hyuck opens the fridge and grabs his favorite prepackaged ice cream cone. Your grip on his sleeve tightens, your dazzling eyes never leaving his.

He hands you a random popsicle and you take it mindlessly, your train of thought still trying to convince Hyuck to embark on achieving this new thrill of yours. “If you didn’t have anything else planned…”

“Am I some Fairy Godmother? Granting your wishes to come true?” Using sarcasm to hide his undying desire to scream yes! may be the best thing he’s learned to utilize. However, you don’t need to beg any more when a small smile curves at his lips. He’s more than convinced.

“Ah, a happy couple. You two look great together.” The rather talkative cashier compliments while he rings up the icey treats.

Just before Hyuck can clarify, you’re pulling him closer by the arm and using your fake saccharine smile. “The best boyfriend ever!” His throat freezes, but he’s following your lead closely. Confusion wandering his thoughts, but heart swelling at your usage of the word boyfriend to reference him.

The friendly stranger laughs wholeheartedly at your giddy act, completely falling for your overplayed nature of a lovey dovey girlfriend. “He always buys me what I want, like this ice cream. He knows it’s my favorite.” You blink innocently up at him, but he finally understands your malicious motive.

Shooting a glare at you, he complies silently and pulls out his card to pay for both of your treats. “Right. Anything my baby wants.” He says the pet name so easily that it shocks him a bit.

“Hey, you’re a good man.” The clueless cashier smiles even wider and prints the receipt. With a simple gratitude, you both exit the store and you’re laughing the loudest form of mockery.

Jumping into the car, Hyuck is quick to roll his eyes. “He always buys me what I want.” He imitates your previous statement with a silly voice. “I can’t believe you robbed me.”

The ridiculous scheme actually managed to work, leaving your stomach to hurt from the intense fit of giggles. “My baby? Where did you learn that?” You say between your spurts of laughter.

Heat rises up his neck, slightly embarrassed. “So what? Nicknames are cute.” He admits bashfully, while shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

Your chuckles die down and you’re leaning over the middle console to get a closer look of his expression. “Really? Didn’t think you were the type. You never used them with your exes.”

“Around you.” A cringe runs down your spine when you witness Hyuck bite his ice cream, settling back in your seat with a grumble.

“Pet names in private.” Now, his palms grow a bit slick with perspiration. “That’s endearing.” Unwrapping your melting popsicle, you don’t probe him more about the subject. Instead, Hyuck turns up the stereo to drown out any more talk about romantic gestures.

After several rounds of finding street parking, Hyuck finally swerves into a spot situated just before the large six-way intersection. The traffic lights blink in view at the end of the street and in the darkness, there are no cars around. An unfamiliar scene, this place is nothing but a wide open road with five lanes that meet in the middle and lead to six different directions. The white painted lines that divide up the road are as chaotic as it looks during the day filled with traffic.

Nonetheless, you are right. There is no other chance to see it so dead, so empty, so free.

And you’re already hopping out of the car that Hyuck breaks his daydream and hurries after you. Standing the middle of the road is a dangerous scheme, yet these are the thrill seeking moments that you crave too well.

Extending your arm out and your palm facing the night sky, you grin enticingly at Hyuck to join you in the middle of the chaotic lines and the adrenaline picks up within him. He, too, matches your smile and lets every form of enthusiasm fuel him.

“Race you to the end.” Hyuck begins bolting down the long runway, causing you to scoff in disbelief at his sudden challenge.

The wind that takes flight against his body is crisp on his skin and driving his strands into a wild mess. Turning around, he sees that you’re quick on his tail. However, the one thing that catches his eye… the one thing that makes this moment another one of your most beautiful ones is the utter bliss and peace in your facial expression.

Eyes are closed and arms are spread out as if you’re letting the wind carry you away. The air slips between the spaces of your fingers and the night is filled with nothing, but your gentle out of breath giggles.

Donghyuck stops in his tracks right under the colorful traffic lights at your astonishing image. And if you are to open your eyes, you’ll see the marvelous image of your sun waiting for you in the middle of the largest intersection of the city with his mouth slightly agape and marked under a trance.

An exasperated sigh escapes as a puff of smoke and his heart works extra hard to pump oxygen in his veins. In his perspective, the excellent city skyline at the horizon remains your background and you’re running toward him with a breathless joy. Another splitting breathtaking image that will live in his mind for as long as he knows you.

So he throws caution to the wind and though it feels too good to be true, he loves his best friend more than anyone he’s ever come across.

By the end of your rendezvous, you two find a secret rooftop to fully enjoy your silent city. Standing side by side, you both lean with your elbows on the ledge.

There is something so unspoken and intimate about this very moment, where existing in each other’s presences becomes wholly more comfortable than anything in the world. And this safety allows for vulnerable secrets to spill, for questions that your heart has always been afraid to ask to fall from your lips.

But you’re not here with just anybody. Donghyuck probably knew what was already on your mind, he just needed you to speak them into existence.

“Hyuck, do you think I’m unlovable?”

Perhaps, it’s the intimacy that allows for him to talk more confidently about how he views you. Heart over mind, he scoffs in disbelief. “Absolutely not. You’re the most lovable person I know! From your happy giggles to your overall easy going aura. We’re not perfect people, but you’re worth every glance and every praise. I wanted to be with you the very moment you made me laugh.”

Donghyuck passionately rambles on about your attributes and everything you’ve allowed him to experience over the years of your friendship. While he’s always been there for you, you’re always by his side and making sure he’s living a memorable life. He thanks all his sweetest memories to you, that you are the most impactful person of his entire college experience.

“I came to college thinking I’d have my nose in textbooks all day long, but you fell into my life like an opportunity to escape. I love my nights trying to crush Mark on the leaderboards, but I’d give that up any day to run down a major intersection in the middle of the city with you.”

With a playful soft chuckle, you say something that practically makes his heart stop and regret oversharing. “You know, from how you describe me… it almost sounds like you’re in love with me.”

“Maybe I am.” He bites the inside of his cheek, unsure what suddenly overcame him. His heartbeat pounds in his ears and he’s anticipating your response, trying every way to decipher the quizzical look on your face. Nevertheless, your hesitation causes him to panic and he intercepts before you can respond. “I meant that as your friend.”

His heart drops into the pit of his stomach, gaze averting away from you. Lies. Lies. More fucking lies. He should’ve waited to see what you would’ve said.

Nodding knowingly, you lightly place your hand over his. The warmth of your touch soothes his aching and disappointment. Why is he hurting from a simple look? “I know.” He can’t tell what’s worse, the fact that you truly believe he only loves you as a friend or that you saw right through him and are trying to let him save face.

“Something happened the night of your birthday that I think I should tell you.” Hyuck sighs out all his frustrations.

He pulls his hand from underneath yours, “you asked me to kiss you as a birthday favor.” There is no confidence to watch your reaction, his eyes remain focused on the dark city.

Instead of a painstaking rejection, you laugh wholeheartedly and somehow, he feels much lighter. “And did you?”

“How could I say no to you on your birthday?” Peering over, your fingers softly graze your lips and a wandering look is present in your dazed stare.

“It’s not the first time we’ve kissed, Hyuck.” Smiling at him, Hyuck looks cluelessly at you and doesn’t recall another time. He would’ve remembered.

“Guess who I stole that same request from?” Your eye lashes bat firmly at him and he gulps at your implied question. There was no way.

“Me? When?” This all causes him to rack his brain of lost files, something he must’ve missed.

Sighing, you bid him a kind smile. “Your birthday party a few months ago. Drunk out of your living mind, you pulled me privately into the kitchen and asked if I could kiss you as a birthday gift.”

Fuck, no wonder why he couldn’t remember. He didn’t remember a single thing from that night. “It was right after my break up.”

Nodding, you affirm his realization. “You told me that you felt so lonely, and somehow…. someway… I’ve always made you feel seen. Perhaps, you do the same for me and my drunk ass was bold enough to ask for a similar request.”

But did you kiss him as if you loved him? With the same amount of love that he did the night of your birthday?

Nonetheless, you shrug off the topic and move on from it all. “We should go, the sun comes up in a few.”

Hyuck notes this odd detail. You’re not one to end the nights so abruptly, so it almost seemed as if you didn’t want to speak more about it.

Perhaps, you did kiss him like you meant it but every fear in your body about loving your best friend stops you from admitting it all.

Because you shouldn’t love your best friend, but something deep down has always wanted to.

How ridiculous he was to believe that you could ever possibly share the same feelings as him. How foolish he felt the moment you burst into his apartment announcing how you’ve finally found the one after another random Tinder date.

It’s as the night on the rooftop a week ago didn’t even exist or mean anything to you. But that night ate him up alive, to the point where he sought out love counseling from Mark.

“Oh dude, this is serious.” Mark watches Hyuck pace the room, double around the floorplan with his head in his hands with utter frustration and confusion. You’re the only thing that’s been running through his mind the last few days.

He grunts and rolls his eyes at how Mark’s face had fallen sullen. “I practically confessed everything I loved about her. It’s pretty serious.”

Mark stands and stops Hyuck by the shoulders, looking dead into his eyes. “I’ve liked her before too and would have done some dumb act to get her to like me back. I get it, Hyuck. So, what do you want to do?”

Donghyuck initially scoffs and tears away from his best friend’s intense stare, “of course you liked her too.” His voice fades out at the end of his sentence. “Mark, I like her so much it’s hard to look at anyone else. She’s…”

“Mesmerizing?” Mark finishes his sentence with a small proud grin on his lips.

Hyuck couldn’t hold the ridiculous laugh that escapes at how smug Mark looks, but then a silence falls over him. He realizes how perfect that word is to describe you. You are every dazzling trance he’d fawn under.

“It’s wrong, Mark. She’s our best friend, I can’t ruin us.” Hyuck slumps his shoulders forward and a pout extends. His eyes are wandering the ugly carpet but he’s thinking about every moment you’ve smiled.

“How did this happen in the first place? I thought you never would’ve liked her…” Mark’s question has Hyuck raking his brain to find his epiphany. “It’s not about your ex, is it? y/n is way too good to be a rebound.”

“No. This has nothing to do with my old relationships, I genuinely like her… so much.” Hyuck understands the implications in Mark’s sudden abrasive questions. Even it’s difficult for himself to say how it all started and so this has Donghyuck reflecting back on his entire friendship with you.

If only he had noticed your lively smiles sooner, a little earlier, it would have saved him all this time searching for someone who would last. You’ve lasted through every college relationship he’s had and that speaks louder than any confession.

“I never liked her because I never thought I had a chance. Have you seen her? Our best friend who has 400 matches on Tinder.” Though he blames himself for realizing a little late that he loved you, it was always hard to compete with everyone else.

“So, what changed then?”

Hyuck leans against the door to Mark’s room and crosses his arms to contemplate. “Not that I have a chance now, but I can’t hold these feelings back anymore. I want to kiss her until we’re out of breath, to love without any conditions, to be the reason behind her every beautiful moment.”

Mark raises a confused eyebrow, “but you are.”

“The only reason.” Hyuck speaks his truest desires and Mark coughs aggressively before composing himself. Right, he didn’t stutter one bit.

So, Hyuck had planned to confess, all until you gave him the very reason he couldn’t. When you showed up unannounced with one of those wide grins that has your eyes shimmering with hope, he just knew something was wrong. All his love and future aspirations were replaced with sheer disappointment and envy.

“I’m falling hard for him.” You begin and your hands are clasped together so innocently. “He brought me to this overlook on a cliff and we just talked for ages. It felt so right and then, he asked to see me again!” Your eyes are completely wondrous and distracted, like the one thought in your mind blocked out everything else. Jumping happily, you’re squealing with excitement thinking about this new person in your life and there is no consideration of Hyuck’s silence.

“That’s… great.” He barely stutters to fill the air and to replace the sound of his heart breaking. He lost you before even getting the chance to even have you.

“I know right!” You yell joyfully and though your smile is the biggest it's ever been, Hyuck refuses to see this moment as beautiful. He’s no longer looking at you objectively, his bias tainting it all and he sees it in an ugly light. As your best friend, he should be happy for you and rooting for you. He’s known more than anyone else that you have been waiting for someone like this your whole college experience.

However, he can’t feel a single good emotion as you ramble on about your alleged one true love.

“Did you need something?” He cuts you off, growing a bit irritated by your endless praise about a man who never wishes to meet.

Clearing your throat, you take Hyuck’s hand in both of your palms. With begging eyes, you say, “my sister is getting married this weekend and they invited you.

His hold escapes yours as he walks toward his bedroom, “shouldn’t you invite your new man to your family events now.” It’s difficult for him to hide the bitterness in his voice, but you run up to him and grip his arm.

“But they think I’m dating you, remember? Plus, my mom referred to you by name. She really likes you.” You snicker, clearly not understanding why Donghyuck seems to be rather distant at the moment.

His ears perk up at the compliment and though it’s a selfish thought, he feels content knowing that he was able to win over your family. So, his heart burns at how your hand slowly travels down to intertwine with his own and how your chin rests on his shoulder lightly. His head turns and he is met a few inches away from your tender lips. For a brief moment, he’s staring at them longer than he should.

“Come on, Hyuck. Be mine for one more time.” Your whisper is gentle and soft, your breath tickling against his cheek. Despite everything, he loves how you make him feel. It’s always a mixture of happiness and safety. There are no fears with you because you’re absolutely fearless. He can’t imagine how he would’ve opened up without you around, that he puts every form of trust into you.

So, every little thing that you do. every single passing look. every touch and every spoken word. He falls harder for you every time you simply see him, every time you bat your eyelashes at him. And this love that festers inside of him feels easy and genuine. Perhaps, you’ve been his one true love all along. He’s never felt remarkably seen, where every part is exposed and right at your fingertips.

And you… have been so patiently waiting for just anyone to steal your heart. How can he let just anyone love you?

“I’m yours for however long you want me to be.” He lightly ruffles the top of your hair before slightly shrugging you off, afraid that your hold will eventually have him saying other sweet implications. “But don’t expect me to enjoy it.” He smirks at your small chuckle, the roll in your eyes.

“At least pretend.” But he really doesn’t have to. He enjoys every moment being yours.

When the day finally arrived, the grand wedding may have been another day that Hyuck will never forget how beautiful you looked. Prancing out in your bridesmaid dress, you run towards him through the large field of fake grass. He catches you when you jump into his arms, practically failing all over and tripping over the ends of your chiffon dress. He hits the ground, cushioning your fall.

“Hey..” you grin down at him breathless, hand resting perfectly on his chest as it was the night of your 21st again.

Hyuck gulps and sends you a glare, “I should have dropped you.”

“That would have been very chivalrous of you.” Sarcasm bites back at him as you push up and off of him. He’s quick on his feet and brushing off any dust from the bottom of your expensive dress, avoiding the long open slit that runs down to expose one leg.

“Donghyuck, you’re looking ravishing.” Your mother steps out, tall and prideful, but with the most delightful expression as she opens her arms to invite him into a hug.

He leans into it, while cautiously making suspicious eye contact with you. You shrug back, also confused at why your mother has a sudden change in demeanor. “It’s been so long since the holidays.”

“It’s a pleasure to see you again.” He bids your mother a respectful smile when she pulls away, to which she absolutely fawns at and you’re tugging at his sleeve to drag him away.

“The pleasure is all mine. You make y/n a better person.” And there is no context that Hyuck understands this single phrase before he’s walking away from your force. Your mother waves a small sweet goodbye as she watches you two leave behind a cobblestone wall behind the large reception building.

It’s covered in long vines that grow up the old stones, a beautiful background for an outdoor wedding. “Rude.” He whispers when you finally stop pulling him away.

“She was starting to say odd things.” You laugh, quite nervously actually. Nonetheless, you shake out of your nerves and a beaming expression replaces your troubles. “So, guess what? I’m meeting my man afterwards.” Yet again, the curve of your lips at the thought of another rumbles his own yearning heart.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he looks down while kicking at the loose pebbles on the ground. “Good for you.” grumbles Donghyuck mindlessly.

You don’t notice his low spirits again, you’re talking away about this man as if he’s all you’re consumed with nowadays. On and on, the same speech about how you’re practically ready to give it your all and how he fits someone unimaginable. Eventually, Donghyuck becomes fed up by how your eyes blink up to the sun with another reflection in them. “It’s like you forget who you are when you’re with someone new.”

And you’re in mid-ramble when you hear his harsh comment that picks aggressively at your skin. It stings, “what?” You cross your arms defensively and raise an eyebrow at him. The tone in your voice is jarringly upset and he opened a can of worms that he isn’t ready for.

Donghyuck swears underneath his breath, looking away at the tall trees behind the small parking lot. “Forget it.” He mumbles, rather frustrated at himself for ticking you off.

“What are you implying?”

“There is someone that actually makes you a better person rather than someone completely different.” He scoffs, his emotions fueling the worst of him. The words flow from his mouth full of anger and spitefulness.

Your eyes narrow at him, crossing your arms defensively. “Like you can give me the love you think I deserve? This whole fake boyfriend gimmick has gone too much to your head.”

And his heart is bursting at the seams and all he can see is your angry expression, so he says something he never hopes to regret. Every impulse beats his rationality and in the heat of the moment, Donghyuck confesses, “if only you can see yourself from my point of view and all the emotions I feel when I look at you.”

With a sharp intake of breath, you’re slightly shocked at his bold statement. You blink cluelessly at him, speechless and deciphering how to respond. The anger fades from the both of you, knowing that the connection you two possess is mutual. Somewhere deep down within you, a light switches on and you’re basking in your sun’s radiance in this moment.

“Tell me about it.” Your curiosity brings much confusion, but he doesn’t wait a second of hesitation.

“Happiness, you light up my nights in dark cars with your smile. Trust, there is no one else I’d run down a dangerous intersection with. Courage, being bold enough to dance in a crowded room like no one was watching. Love, when kissing you felt incomparable to anything else in the world. Vulnerability, looking at you and knowing everything about you.”

Donghyuck takes a cautious step forward toward you. A whirl of thoughts and emotions overwhelmingly flood your heavy mind, but fear no longer holds you back from the one person you’ve always wished to love, harder than any person you’ve ever encountered. “Donghyuck.”

He freezes at the call of his name, waiting patiently for your next words. “I want to love me the way that you love me... because nobody loves me like you do… even myself. So, I’d love to see me from your point of view.”

Donghyuck releases the sigh that suffocates him and every firework lights up in his chest. His eyes wander across your canvas and absorb everything wondrous about your features. Even though you’re not entirely smiling, you’re puckering your lips cutely out of embarrassment. And he reassesses how pretty you simply look in your expensive formal chiffon dress and the bold color on your lips that has made you feel good before.

He thinks aloud, the words leaving his mouth before they can be stopped. “This is your most beautiful moment.”

When you’re looking up at him to meet his dreamy gaze, a new enthusiasm washes over your entire body. Looking rather inexplicably attractive in his suit, Hyuck stares at you as if you’re all he can see. So, you pull him into the only source of gratitude you can give. A kiss that gives every emotion back to him, one that resembles closely to the one he gave you on your birthday and the one you gave him for his.

An emotional kiss that tells him more than he can see. He feels it on the tip of your tongue and every ounce of love that rushes over the both of you.

***********

Donghyuck’s wandering hands travel down your waist, over your hips, all until it reaches in between the slit of your dress. His hand instinctively grips at your naked thigh, the feeling of your raw skin driving him wild with impure thoughts. Your hands are quick on his tie, loosening it from around his collar and unbuttoning the first few as you’ve done once before.

“Can,-- Is it okay if--?” Hungry eyes search his face for confirmation, but you’re so lust driven that you’re a stuttering mess. “Do you want this?”

“Yes.” Says Hyuck without any hesitation. Taking his hand, you’re quick to lead him inside to a more secluded part of the venue. The lavish private bathrooms are brightly lit and he lifts you on top of the marble counters.

“The reception starts in 20 minutes.” You moan as Hyuck kisses down your neck hastily, a hand up the slit of your dress to push your panties aside.

“We’ll make it quick then. I’ll show you love another day.” His knuckle lightly grazes against your erect clit and your grip on his shoulder tightens. Whimpers fall from your lips as your hips mindlessly grind into his hand. “Never took you the type to be so loud.” Hyuck raises an eyebrow and tilts his head mockingly at you.

“This isn’t even close to how loud I can get.” Your statement causes him to swallow hard. Being your best friend, he has kept a rather clear mind from any sexual attraction toward you. He had to know he loved you in order to even see you in that way.

Gathering your slick, he rubs your clit with two fingers before dipping them into your hole. You lean back into the mirror and prop your feet on the counter to spread open for Hyuck to see. “You let all these idiots fuck your pretty pussy? They don’t deserve you, as a person or a potential partner.” He fingers you deeper and with flicking motions, he hits your sweet spot and causes you to jolt.

“Please, just fuck me. I’ve always wondered how good you’d feel.” His eyes twinkle at your bashful confession, but understands your lustful desires even for your own best friend.

“You think about fucking me?” He asks abruptly, taking his fingers out to suck your juices clean from them. A coined flattered smirk appears on his lips as he unbuckles his belt.

You’re averting eye contact, “well no, maybe just once. I get horny when I’m drunk sometimes.” You admit and he’s rushing to take himself out of his restrictive dress pants. His dick hits the air and he adjusts closer to your dripping core.

And he enters, slowly and slowly inching in so you can adhere to his size. You bite back every yell of pleasure and grip the ends of his dress shirt. Hyuck fills you up deliciously, and you two are connected through bodies beyond any way before. He leans in to give you a sloppy, yet passionate kiss before dragging out his hips and pushing them back in.

There is no guilt, no pain, no sorrows. Knowing Hyuck, he fucks you in the same way he wishes to love you. His hips drive into you passionately and quickly. The time crunch being something that causes him great distraction, but his heart is swelling simply feeling your warmth wrap around him so well.

“My baby is so tight.” Pet names in private. A small grin appears on your face at the sound of the sweet nickname and you pull him closer by tugging his shirt.

“Harder, Hyuck. Don’t hold back anymore.” Moan after moan, Hyuck relentlessly drills into you. His arm is hooked underneath your left thigh to keep it up, and your head keeps banging against the mirror.

Your eyes roll back when his thumb rubs circles on your aching clit. The mixture of both pleasures stimulate you until the build up tension in your stomach begins to reach its peak.

“Cum, I know you fucking want to.” He grunts, keeping the same rhythm that pushes you over your edge. Your walls squeeze around him tightly as your legs shake sporadically from your release. You’re smart to cover your mouth, knowing that the bathroom will only echo your erotic sounds. Your chest rises and falls from the momentum and adrenaline that Hyuck helped you reach, breathlessly trying to calm your heart rate down.

After a few more harsh bumps, he pulls out and motions you forward. Jumping off of the counter, you kneel on the ground and suck his tip lightly. Your swirls are enough for him to empty into your mouth, his hot streams of salty liquid hitting the back of your throat. He looks down at you and your wide eyed expression with his cock in your mouth drives him overboard.

And you swallow, getting up to lightly plant a sweet kiss on his cheek. A lip stain being worn proudly for just a moment.

“You amaze me.” Hyuck whispers, holding you against his flushed body and fast paced heart beat.

“Hurry out you two!” A voice startles the both of you with a knock on the door and you two are quick to readjust yourselves. He hopes to love you a little longer next time, without any interruptions.

***********

After the glorious and excruciating long wedding, you’re walking Hyuck to his car in the small parking lot. During the rest of the night, he held your hand the whole way through and the love that he looked at you with was more than real.

He talked with your distant relatives as if he’s always known them. Hyuck conducted the dinner table, always knowing what to say. There was no doubt in your head that seeing Donghyuck in the aftermath, he was always going to be someone who was going to make things better.

The love you long searched for, the love that you had been too afraid to touch, intertwined itself so lovingly underneath the white table cloth. Donghyuck is the one and it took needing to see him a bit more to realize. A little more acceptance from the both of you had to be the final straw.

Donghyuck sheepishly scratches the back of his neck when you reach his car, unsure where the path of your friendship will diverge to next. “Have fun on your date then…” His voice trails off, kicking the rocks at his feet again.

There goes your melodic laughter that soothe his aching heart and the familiar gentle grip on his fingertips. You lift his chin up, the both of you seeing each other clearly now.

From his perspective, you’re absolutely dazzling in the low light and butterflies swirl in the pit of his stomach. He can look at you forever, until months turn into years. He can love you until you two grow old. You’re his fearless, beautiful, inexplicably marvelous best friend. And he patiently waits for the day you’ll let him finally be yours.

From your perspective, Donghyuck shines even when the night overtakes the sky and possibly, the warmth in your heart bubbles across your chest. You can stay with him forever, until months turn into years. You can trust him like it’s you two against the world. He is your silly, charming, timidly benevolent best friend. And you’re slowly falling and hoping for the day you get to be his.

“I’m not going to see him anymore. He’s not the one.” Hyuck blinks at you, full of confusion and shock.

“But you sounded so happy.” His voice gets lost in the stillness of the intimate atmosphere.

“No, Hyuck. You make me happy and I’ll say it again for you to hear me. Nobody loves me like you do.” Reaching up, your hand caresses his cheek and he falls into your palm lovingly. His heart runs a mile, reaching the greatest high he’s ever going to feel. He hopes his eyes don’t deceive him, but the utter perfection on your face makes him feel whole.

You wish that Hyuck can teach you to love yourself the way that he loves you.

“Take me home?”

“How could I ever say no?”

thank you for being patient with me! its finally done and i will be going on a writing hiatus for a bit. housemating and ridin club will come out sometime soon, but i really need to step away from writing for a bit. please understand, thank you for reading :)

#neowritingsnet #nct-writers #neosmutcollective #kpopscape #neothestars #nct scenarios #nct scenario #lee haechan #haechan scenarios #haechan smut #nct smut #nct imagines #nct #nct dream scenarios #nct imagine

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systematicmasspoisoning · 3 years

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Who is Sam's prison for?

If you're not up to date in DreamSMP lore, Awesamdude, resident Redstone expert, was paid stacks of diamonds by Dream to make an inescapable prison. It is located in the ocean next to Bad and Skeppy's mansion and is VERY large. Supposedly it will be using Elder Guardians to keep a prisoner from mining out due to Mining Fatigue. Even if the prisoner dies of hunger, they will respawn inside. This brings up the question of how

1. they force the prisoner to click a bed inside the prison

2. how they keep the prisoner from breaking the bed.

Regardless of the mechanics of the second one, I think the first is a clue as to who Dream will trap inside the prison. Consider the 3 canon deaths lore. He has used the threat of permanently killing Tommy to get the boy to comply and click on a bed in Logstedshire. So a 'permanent death if you don't comply' is definitely an effective tactic but ONLY for people with one life left.

The main two options are Tommy and Tubbo (or Philza). Or, Dream is planning on knocking another one of his potential opponents, such as Quackity, Fundy or Techno, down to one life in the time it takes to build the actual prison.

Quackity and Fundy aren't big enough threats yet, although Quackity certainly has the potential to be a threat, in this season of the SMP, El Rapids isn't big enough of a threat yet.

Most people would assume Dream's biggest enemies on the server are Tommy and Techno. Techno's role in the grand scheme of things is, as of now, undetermined. However, as Techno is one of the authors of this SMP season, he likely has something up his sleeve. He is currently 'retired' alongside Phil in their Antarctic Empire skins in a snowy biome, but he has made appearances in Tommy's streams to mock the boy for getting exiled (just like Techno predicted with the Theseus analogy.) An alliance between the sleepbois is possibly in the works, but right now, both Tommy and Techno have made it clear there is still a lot of animosity between them. So I don't see Techno, and by extension, Phil becoming much of a problem for Dream (for now.)

Tommy, on the other hand, has been visited by Dream almost every stream while Tommy is exiled; Tommy has been manipulated by him, gaslighted and threatened. Despite making the very real threat of giving Tommy his final death, Dream has stopped Tommy from any, um, self-harming actions. Dream told him "I need you alive." Narratively, that means that Dream has plans for Tommy (they are, after all, each other's main antagonist). But Dream has also said that Tommy will remain on exile for a long time and he told Bad and Sam as they were building the prison that he doesn't intend on using the prison on Tommy (unless he begins to act up was implied.)

Because Bad and Sam (and Eret) are working with Dream, I would assume imprisoning anyone from the Badlands is out of the question. But I think it's interesting how Sam is the primary leader of the building project.

Dream said that Sam is the only one who will totally know the ins and outs of the prison. So that possibly means Sam is the only one who would know how to escape the inescapable prison. The interesting thing about Sam being included in this storyline is his connections. He and Tubbo are very close, and Sam is also friends with Tommy. Its not long of a stretch to assume that Sam's storyline might eventually lead to HIM breaking out whoever Dream imprisons. Tommy, for now, is out of the equation, so who does that leave?

Tubbo. Someone who many people are now considering Dream's puppet. Dream has been laying on the manipulation lately, playing chess with him, complimenting him and trying to increase the wedge between Tubbo and Tommy. You would think Tubbo is safe, so long as he remains pacifistic and continues to make decisions that are to Dream's benefit. But there are things going beyond the scenes that we, the audience, need to consider. The script.

Symbolism and chekov's guns have been sprinkled into the story line for a long time, and it feels as though the roleplayers have upped the ante. It's hard to think about Ghostbur' compasses without crying, but I literally can't stop thinking about what they mean. When it comes to the duo, despite their estrangement, Tommy still considers Tubbo one of the most important things in his life. He placed the "Your Tubbo" compass right beside his discs in his enderchest. Meanwhile, Tubbo held his "Your Tommy" compass in his offhand nearly all stream today. They still care for each other, obviously, but think about one of the reasons Tubbo exiled Tommy in the first place.

He felt like Tommy was choosing the discs over everything else. He felt as though the discs were the only thing Tommy cared about. There has to be a resolution to this. It's been shown by the story that the discs and Tommy's other obligations (L'manberg, his friendships) cannot coexist together for long without it driving a wedge between them.

Tubbo has been streaming more Among Us lobbies and modded Minecraft lately. When he comes onto the server, he nearly has nothing to do. He loves big project and building houses, but as of now, Tubbo has so little materials to even bother making a home and his largest project, the ocean monument, has been placed on the backburner while Sam builds the prison. Its almost....its almost like Tubbo is preparing his audience and for a period of time where he has no reason to be on the SMP. If he's imprisoned, that's not very good content to watch, is it? I also noticed that Dream pointedly did NOT tell Tubbo about the prison today, instead referred to it merely as a 'project.'

My biggest theory is that the prison is for Tubbo. Tubbo is complacent to Dream now, sure, but Tubbo is very, very smart, and- most importantly to Dream - he still has one of Tommy's discs. And Dream wants it.

When talking sweet to Tubbo no longer works, I think the prison will be the next best option. Its possible Dream will frame Tubbo for some crime (foreshadowed by how Quackity and George tried to frame Eret for Karl's murder), or someone will threaten to overthrow Tubbo and Dream will bring him to a 'secure location' to protect him. Tubbo is very nervous about losing his one life, as exhibited by the safe room under the L'mamberg podium, and other comments about his fear of becoming the next Ghostbur. Dream said that he would protect Tubbo if someone tried to overthrow him. The only threats to Tubbo's current presidency is El Rapids. Ranboo is willing to wait until the next election to become president, but Quackity has shown a strong willingness to do terrible things in order to get power. In Quackity's war against Eret and Dream, Dream made many, many references to Tubbo being a better leader, possibly sowing jealousy in Quackity's mind. Sapnap, George and Karl, as apart of El Rapids also have a bone to pick with L'manberg and may also play a part in further separating Quackity from L'manberg and fueling his desire to be the most powerful nation on the server. Absorbing New L'manberg could be the next step.

Dream could pretend to protect Tubbo by bringing him to a 'safe location', the prison, and getting Tubbo to willingly set his spawn inside. Once it comes to light that it's a prison, with Dream his captor, Tubbo will have to make a decision. Give Dream the disc in his enderchest, or stay imprisoned. Freedom, or the disc, a compromise that has been made time and time again on this server.

I think that Tubbo will hold out and allow himself to be imprisoned, while Tommy returns from exile to make a prison break, with the help of Sam. I doubt that will end well, knowing Dream.

I also think at some point, one of the boys will need to bend. Either Tubbo choses to give up his disc to Dream for freedom, or he decides to take the disc with him to his grave. Its basically the Exile decision all over again. Life/freedom, or the discs/war. Selfishness vs. selflessness.

The two boys are learning throughout this current arc to be more like the other. Throughout his Exile, Tommy will learn to be self sufficient and has had to make big sacrifices consistently as Dream blows up the progress he's made. He's learning to chose his own life over property. Meanwhile, Tubbo (although he's only streamed on the SMP once so far this week) has already shown regret for exiling Tommy, and inherently by choosing to launch a war campaign against Techno, he is learning to chose war and bravery over peace and cowardice. He will gain an appreciation for the disks and/or recognize with greater understanding what they mean to Tommy. Maybe he will learn to care deeply for his compass and learns how willing he is to wage war if the compass gets stolen. It's about the symbolism - its what the object means that is worth protecting.

I think Tubbo will die protecting the discs. Or, Tommy will tell Tubbo to give it up. This is a better ending, in which Tommy will learn that the discs represent is his friendships. And, according to Ranboo, they also represent power, according to Ranboo. But on the server, according to Wilbur (when he asks Tubbo to spy for him) people have always represented power.

To Tommy, in this arc, I hope he will learn that keeping the discs is not worth losing his best friend.

#dream team #dreamteam #dreamwastaken #mcyt #president tubbo #tubbolive #tubbo #tommyinnit #clingy duo #sleepy bois inc #wilbur soot #ghostbur #awesamdude #quackity #fundy #fundylive

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honeysidesarchived · 3 years

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WHERE THERE IS NO TEMPTATION, THERE IS NO GLORY.

⊱ a santino d'antonio / oc short-fic

pt. ii: they whose lives do not taste of evil ( read on ao3 ) ( masterlist )

words: 2.7k

warnings: none that are chapter specific.

rating: m/t

notes: thank you to everyone who has loved on me and supported me after posting the first part of this! it really makes me so warm and fuzzy inside and i cannot express in words how grateful i am. ♡

as always, thank you to my love @starcrier for being my most wonderful beta. ♡♡

Morning light filters through the curtains in the bedroom. The air conditioning had clicked off moons ago, having decided that the room was at its sufficient temperature; now just a few rays of the sun are warming the carpet on her side, cutting across the cream-colored knit blanket at the foot of the bed. Through the windows, she can hear the bustle of New York—churning, grinding, a beast of its own as it laboriously beneath their own feet.

Sometimes, Euphemia thinks that she hates New York—that she misses the countryside in Italy, that she misses bare feet on grass and warm, dark earth and the sticky-wet of pulling fruit straight from the vine. Sometimes, Euphemia thinks that New York is a beast waiting for her, to swallow her up, teeth ripping through pavement and concrete and brick to bite bite bite until it reaches her.

But not today. Today, Euphemia is not thinking about the Beast. She is thinking only about the fact that Santino’s spot beside her is empty, and then she’s reminded that today he will be wandering out into the world under the Table to ask a man who doesn’t want anything to do with Santino to grant him a favor. To grant Santino what he is owed, as he would prefer it framed.

Euphemia sits up in bed. She’s not sure when it is that she finally fell asleep, but if the drag of exhaustion in her mind is any indication, it wasn’t very long ago. She can’t recall if she dreamt, or if she rested even at all—if she had to guess, she’d think she spent the entire night tossing and turning, restless, with the burning itch of John Wick’s threatening presence looming in her future.

She can hear Santino out in the kitchen; the smell of coffee drifts in through the open door. The blonde slips out of bed to wander out, her footfalls quiet on the plush carpet, and she sees him—dressed, polished up, as though he got a perfect eight hours of sleep. An old song hums through the speakers of the sound system on the entertainment stand.

So much for keeping him distracted, Euphemia thinks ruefully.

“Good morning,” Santino greets, pouring a cup of coffee and setting it on the island counter to scoot it in her direction. “You were sleeping so soundly that I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You could have,” Euphie replies, taking the cup in her hands and using it to warm her fingers rather than drinking the coffee. “It wouldn’t have mattered. I don’t feel like I have slept at all.”

“Yes,” he agrees somberly, “you were restless.” His hand reaches up, the pad of his thumb tracing the slope of her jaw. “My little worrier.”

She crinkles her nose at him, finally relenting and taking a sip of her coffee. He’s made it just the way that he knows she likes—strong, rich, cream and no sugar. Santino winds his arms around her and laces his fingers against the small of her back, leaning so that he can get a long, good look at her.

“Well, go on,” he prompts her, eyes glittering playfully. “I know you want to say something to keep me home.”

Euphie’s chest tightens. It’s a little cruel of him; he wants to hear her ask, even though they both know there’s nothing she could say to change his mind. He likes to have her ask just so he can tell her no, and usually, she won’t bite. Not for his ego.

But this is different.

She sets the coffee aside, her hands instead finding his chest, holding on to the lapel of his jacket. She says, “I don’t want you to go, Santi. Please don’t go. We can stay in bed all day, or—what if we went back to Italy? Just for a little while? My mother would like to see you, I know.” Swallowing, Euphie feels her lashes flutter, the desire to let her voice wobble with emotion almost overwhelming. I won’t, she thinks, I won’t cry. “We can do anything you want, but—not this.”

“Sweet Euphie,” Santi sighs, taking her face in his hands. “Così dolce, just for me, aren’t you?” He leans in and kisses her temple; for a split second, she thinks that he might acquiesce, that he might set it aside, even for one day—indulge her, the way that he likes to do. Santino has always wanted her to be selfish with him. When they’d started dating, it took her months to get used to the way he’d buy her anything, cook her anything, give and get her anything, and for a girl who’d had so very little for so long, it had almost been nauseating. She would eat her fill, and Santino would say, more, cara mia? Would you like more? As if he had known that allowing her to indulge herself in the fruits of his world under the Table would curse her to stay, forever.

And here she was. Stuck. Blissfully, dreadfully, wretchedly, sickeningly and wonderfully stuck.

“But no,” he continues, pulling back and tilting her chin up with his fingers. “Business needs to be taken care of before I can relax.”

Euphemia releases a breath that she hadn’t realized she was holding. It’s not an unexpected response, but she won’t kick herself for trying—not considering the circumstances, considering what he is leaving to do. In anything else, she might have been too proud to say please.

Her fiancé plants a kiss on both of her cheeks. “Drink your coffee,” he commands, his voice light as he grabs his phone and tucks it into his pocket, heading for the door. “What time is the engagement party?”

“Seven,” Euphie replies tiredly. She does as he bids like it’s second nature to her now, taking a drink of the coffee. “Be back by five, Santi.”

His hand is on the handle to the door outside. She thinks she might be sick. He says, “Wear the red dress I like.”

“Maybe. If you behave.”

Santino flashes her a grin from the doorway. She wonders if anyone else is comfortable ordering him around, or if she’s just so accustomed to living with an apex predator that she’s become numb to his dangers.

“Yes, cara mia,” he purrs. “Anything you say.”

Except that isn’t true, she thinks, watching him open the door and greet Ares, who has been waiting—lurking, in the hall to the elevator, like the shadows cut across the floor from the chandelier lights. There is a tiny moment where their eyes meet over Santino’s shoulder, and Euphemia hopes that she might see pity; she’s miserable, after all, knowing that Santino is walking into a slaughterhouse.

As ever, Ares is unreadable. There is only the tiny, almost imperceptible quirk of the corner of her mouth, and then door is closed and Euphemia is alone. And there is a tiny, vicious part of her that says, we ought to get used to being alone. We never should have forgotten it in the first place.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Santino is late, and when he shows up, he doesn’t say whether things went well or not.

They must have gone well enough, because he’s alive and in one piece and in a fine enough mood. But that is the problem—his mood is fine. He arrives at his own engagement party in a fine mood, and Euphemia can’t decide what’s more irritating: that he’s late, that he won’t tell her how it went, or that he can’t fake being delighted for a few hours.

“Ah, there’s your man,” Winston says, a smile lifting his expression. The older man had been keeping her company as the hour ticked by and she had to say hello and hi and thank you to every guest attending at Santino’s behest—yet another frustrating detail, Euphemia mentally notes, that he’d bothered all of these folks to show up and didn’t have the decency to arrive on time himself. She’s very certain that Winston did not intend to stay as long as he has, and for that, she feels poorly.

But she’s too irritated to express it properly. “Is that one mine?” Euphie asks lightly, turning her gaze away from Santino striding into the room and getting stopped by guests on his way to her. She twists her untouched champagne flute in her fingers, fixing her gaze back on Winston. “No man of mine would come late to his own party. Not if he wanted to walk out in one piece.”

Winston laughs at her words and gives her hand a pat. “You are a woman after my own heart, Euphemia Volpe.”

“I’ll be accepting applications for the position of my husband shortly, I think.”

She feels Santino’s hand on her waist just before he leans into kiss her cheek; the movement is so quick that she doesn’t have the time to properly avoid his affection, and he almost certainly does that on purpose.

“I am so glad you could come, Winston!” Santino announces, reaching and shaking the older man’s hand. “And that you got to spend some time with my own personal star.” He turns to her now, finally, reaching up to take her face in his hands. “Mi dispiace, Euphie, I did try to hurry.”

She tilts her head a little, lifting her chin out of his grasp. “Don’t apologize to me,” Euphemia replies. “Winston is the one you kept waiting.”

Santino grins. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes—or rather, it doesn’t look like the kind of grin that you make when you’re happy. Nothing about him screams happy, future wedded-bliss. Everything looks strained, like someone’s pissed him off and he’s just had to do something about it.

He looks at Winston, dropping his hands. “I’m sorry, truly.”

The man waves his hand, as though it isn’t a big deal—but it is, Euphie knows, at the very least to her; Winston has always treated her kindly, regardless of whose arm she was on-and he puts a hand on Santino’s shoulder. “I only came to say congratulations and see this fine lady, and then I was going to be off. So—congratulations...” His gaze turns to Euphemia. “Miss Volpe.” He kisses both of her cheeks. “Here I have seen you. And I will be on my way.”

Euphie says, “Thank you for coming, Winston. You did not need to wait around for this idiot.”

“I never say no to time with a beautiful lady,” he admonishes, making to leave. “Santino just happens to be here.”

“I will walk you out,” Santino declares. He’s only just arrived, and he smells a little bit like smoke, and he’s carrying with him a strange, frantic energy; but before Euphemia can think to say anything, he’s kissing her—hard, and a little desperate, and she can feel an eerie tremble in his hands before he pulls away and takes her drink out of her hand and swallows the entire thing in one go.

And then he’s off. Walking away with Winston, who looks calm and unbothered by the erratic display (though Winston always looks that way, so it’s no good gauge for Euphemia to tell when something is off). But something is off. As they’re walking, Santino is talking to Winston with a frenetic urgency that translates only in ways she can recognize. To the outside eye, her fiancé is composed, and perhaps a little stressed, his strides collected and tight and his lopsided grin to sharp to be pleasant.

His kiss tastes of ash. She can feel it in her mouth, still, gunpowder and smoke lingering in the palette, but she will not bring herself to think about where it came from.

By the time Santino returns from “walking Winston out”—which probably means talking to Winston about something he doesn’t want Euphie to hear—she has decided to bring it up. She doesn’t know how, yet, but she’s going to do it.

He slides his arms around her as she visits with some of their friends, burying his face into the crook of her neck, like he just can’t stand not to be touching for a second longer. The conversation carries on blithely without her; Euphie reaches up and cradles the side of Santino’s face with her hand, fingers brushing the dark, honeyed curls at his temple. She’s decided to be sweet about it.

“You seem stressed,” she murmurs.

“Not stressed,” Santino replies, speaking the words into her neck. He sways a little, turning her in his arms and pulling her against him so that he can sway her with him. The movements are leisurely in comparison to the energy that he’s carrying; pushing and pulling with the lull of the delicate music playing overhead. It should be a dream, this engagement party. It’s all golden light and warmth billowing from an ornate fireplace, the people that she cares the most about celebrating her and Santino’s love.

Euphemia says, “You smell like smoke.”

It’s not a question, and Santino knows it. He holds one of her hands in his and presses their foreheads together.

“You are so beautiful, Euphie,” he sighs dreamily. He kisses her again—less urgent this time—and she knows what it means: it’s better if she doesn’t ask. She’s going to be a D’Antonio, which means that problems get taken care of for her, and she doesn’t have to worry about following up.

Still, while the warmth of his kiss is distracting and lovely, and the feel of his hands pressing into the base of her spine where the plunging back of the red silk dress he likes the best on her makes her skin break out in delighted goosebumps, she cannot help but think, I should know. I have a right to know what’s going on.

“Santi,” she begins, lower her voice even more, “if something has happened—”

“Nothing has happened,” Santino insists, turning her slowly before drawing her back against him. “Mia piccola volpe, stop fussing. I promised you, didn’t I?”

Her lips press into a thin line. “Yes,” she replies after a minute, “you did.” But if something has happened, she wants to say, and can’t bring herself to because Santino is kissing her again, pleased with her concise and obedient answer; he kisses her again and again, between breaths, funneling all of his frenzied energy into her instead. He gives it to her to hold, but won’t tell her where it’s come from or why it’s there. Just shoves it into her for safekeeping.

People cat-call and holler and whoop and laugh, and he grins against her mouth, lifting her up against him playfully—just far enough off the ground that she loops her arms around his neck to steady herself, unable to focus on how frustrating it is to be worried, and not know why.

“Ti amo,” Santino rumbles against her collarbone, kissing there reverently. “What do you think about leaving, hm? Sneak out of our own engagement party early, so I can take you home and enjoy you properly?”

It sounds too good, to go home. It sounds too good, because just that morning, she was begging him not to leave.

“I don’t know,” she ventures, smoothing her hand absently over the lapel of his suit jacket once he’s set her back down. “I don’t know, Santi, I...”

Her voice trails off. Ares is by the door. Once, the woman had been a comfort to her; now, she’s a reminder of this traitorous thing Santino has done, this thing that sits between them but only he can see and touch and feel, and Euphie just has to suffer the consequences of it one way or another.

“Come on, cara mia,” he coaxes, drawing her eyes back to him, twisting a strand of her hair around his finger. “We can do whatever you want.”

There must be something he isn’t telling me, she thinks. Something that’s blown his pupils wide until the black at them is eating away at the gorgeous jade green of his irises. Something dreadful, that he knows she’ll hate. That she’ll fuss about.

The question sits there, just on the tip of her tongue. What about Wick? she wants to ask. But she already knows that he won’t tell her, and she is learning quickly not to ask.

Ignorance is bliss, anyway.

#santino d'antonio x oc #john wick fic #spilled ink #santino d'antonio/oc #f: where there is no temptation there is no glory #c: euphemia volpe #santino d'antonio #i still feel exceptionally shy about this but dkjhfdkf #thank u thank u thank u everyone who has given me love!!!!#x: senza tentazioni senza onore

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kiivg · 3 years

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.I decided to just go with my three heroes instead of like all my dragon age romances because I’ve got someone for Blackwall, Gaspard, and I’ve got a mind for someone with Dorian too. Then I’ve got a whole load of OC x OC as well, and trying to draw all of them would be time consuming. However! During drawing this, I realised that, technically, Andrastopher, Anders, Marcus, and Zevran, have all slept with one another. Whether that’s between two people or more just depends on when in the timeline haha…. ,’:)c.

.Anyway there’s some things about my Heroes and their love interests below :), thank you for asking! I’m always excited to talk about my OCs.

...

.Andrastopher and Zevran’s relationship starts out as quite a basic thing. Something that’s not talked about in camp or on any of their journeys, but everyone knows it’s happening. On Andrastopher’s side, it’s something to make him forget for a little while, something to take his mind of everything that’s happening to him. Zevran, after all, offers this to him as more of an incentive to keep him alive knowing that Andrastopher most likely will end up killing him. Something that Andrastopher wasn’t exactly quiet about, he did actually plan on presenting Zevran’s head to Arl Howe at some point.

.Of course, everything changes with the course of time. Fighting beside one another in such dangerous situations, it was bound to leave them closer than before. They save each other’s lives, they tend one another’s wounds, and one night, Andrastopher doesn’t slink back to his own tent with a satisfied hum in his belly and stays curled around the other man. There’s a tenderness that blooms between them both, and what was not talked about before, is shown more and more openly.

.Zevran, I think, falls in love with Andrastopher before Andrastopher falls in love with him. He’s too broken to glue himself back together long enough to even think about such a thing. It probably doesn’t help that Zevran had started off by complimenting him on his looks above anything else, and Andrastopher knows he’s a weird looking man; more of a curiosity than a crush to anyone who looks at him. Anything Zevran had said after that was taken with the knowledge that the man would be lying.

.By the end of the blight, something that Andrastopher had hoped to die in, he’d found a reason to live again. Completing Morrigan’s ritual was a risk to take, but one he did so willingly so he could waken next to Zevran another day. However odd their beginnings were, neither man was willing to see the other one gone.

.After the blight, Andrastopher struggles with everything he knows. There’s no place for him in the world, and he cannot hide in Zevran’s arms as if there is nothing wrong. He takes a year to himself, sacrificing himself to the Qun, accepting that he needed a restriction in being who he was meant to be. It was a hard time apart, but the reunion was a sweet one. Though time and work takes them apart for perhaps months at a time, they remain loyal to one another. They marry at some point, a small thing which really only included the pair themselves, a chantry Mother, and Oghren who was both amused and embarrassed about it all.

.To this day they remain together, and regrets have been spoken about how they had initially started out. Andrastopher knows he should have treated Zevran better, something the man has forgiven him for over and over throughout their years.

...

.Marcus and Anders’ relationship was in-game the rivalmance because it’s so much more delicious than the basic romance. But, in my mind, it’s different.

.They start off butting heads in Kirkwall, Marcus needs Anders’ help, and Anders’ needs Marcus’ help. The idea of anything between them isn’t really on the table at the time since Marcus has been spending his time between Meeran’s legs more often than not. They both find each other insufferable for a variety of reasons; Marcus is egotistic, narcissistic, overtly cocky, and spends most of his time either fighting or fucking or playing that ridiculous lute he won in the Hanged Man. Whilst Marcus thinks Anders’ fight has been blown to unrealistic proportions, and he’s championing something that can be overcome easily enough, the man has a hero complex that grates on his nerves. Marcus is a Fereldan apostate who lives freely, and he can’t understand why people don’t just escape from the circle; his father did easily enough.

.After the Deep Roads expedition, coming home after eating nothing but mushrooms and drinking rock water for weeks, just to return to Carver’s newfound templar job really makes him rethink his attitude in Kirkwall. Marcus becomes openly supportive of the Templars, he has no choice; Carver’s relation to a mage has him under valiant watch, and though money helps, Marcus has to be on his best behaviour. Being seen with Anders can only damage his reputation, but they had kissed in that foggy desperation in the Deep Roads, not that they’d spoken of it, but it remains a memory that tasted sweet despite their breath.

.Marcus spends most of his time in the Blooming Rose in the next few years, wealth and desire letting him flaunt his time in rented beds. Anders yet plays on his mind, pulling him back time after time whenever he hears the man needs his help. They fight and disagree, snapping with magic curling in their fingertips. Anders feels like Marcus is betraying the very core of himself; denying that he’s a mage in every positive song he sings of the Templars. He hates the man with an intensity that boils over in the need to return to that time in the Deep Roads; when mages and templars didn’t matter, and the once fat Fereldan apostate gave away his shares of tasteless fungi to the mage who knew how to heal wounds. They fight and kiss, biting at each other with teeth and nails, and it is Marcus who storms away; burning with confusion and singed footsteps, and awaiting a visitor at the end of the night.

.When things get particularly bad, Marcus gives in to Anders’ way of thinking, apologising for what they had been through over the years. He gives him a key to the Hawke estate. It’s a safe place to hide, a safe place to smuggle mages in and out. He warns him on Carver’s inclusion, Marcus can’t be seen helping; it would only come back upon his brother and he’s not willing to risk such a thing.

.Anders stops by the estate more and more, and the animosity between them settles into something of a comfort. The man is there when Leandra is killed, he is there to stop him from killing Merrill just a few nights after, he is there to drag him home from the Blooming Rose when he drinks too much to remember where he lives. Marcus knows he doesn’t deserve any of it, and he is selfish when he kisses Anders for the first time in years, selfish when he tries to drag him into bed, selfish when he asks him to stay the night. Marcus’ rise to Viscount is the only thing that keeps Anders safe, and is the only reason that Anders is able to be smuggled from Kirkwall after the explosion.

.It’s a year and a half before they see each other again. Justice has been calmed over the months, and Marcus’ attempts at keeping Kirkwall sane had slowly been overthrown by a group of zealots. A mage couldn’t hold position for any longer, and he had no choice but to flee. He’d spent six months building a home for himself in the ruins of Lothering, and he welcomes Anders with laughter and disbelief when he sees the man again. Years had passed since they had first met in Darktown, but seeing Marcus with a small herd and a weight settling in his gut, it’s the most real he’s ever been.

.They settle together, never intending for it to be permanent. But there is a loneliness that could only be combatted together, and when mages begin to find them it’s hard not to fall in love with one another when they work to rebuild what was once lost. A small village sprouts around them, mages seeking safety and succour found under the guidance of a heavy stranger named Conchobhar, and that taller fellow named Jarl.

...

.Goddard and Yetta’s relationship isn’t actually an in-game thing, since he’s seventy-one at the beginning of Inquisition, and like what options do I ever have apart from making him a sugar daddy (I missed a thing there for sure AH), so I gave him a wife called Yetta.

.Essentially, it’s an arranged marriage for them. Which begins terribly, because neither want to marry the other; Goddard is still holding out hope that he will find his first love again, and Yetta was betrothed to him since she was a child so she’s never had a choice. Their wedding is awkward, Goddard tries to convince his little brother, Milward, to take his place, and Yetta is caught trying to escape from the actual event. Goddard also turns up in Orlesian finery in an attempt to insult Yetta’s family and to remind them that he spent a good few years in bed with a chevalier. It works, but, the wedding still goes ahead, and they’re both miserably married by the end of the day.

.Despite his tactics, Goddard promises Yetta that he’d stay truthful to her regardless of whether or not they end up in bed together. And, in the beginning, neither of them wanted to. Goddard spends his nights sleeping on the floor, and there’s a more than obvious rumour floating around that they haven’t yet slept together. Despite all the pushes and shoves they receive; Goddard being pushed into Yetta’s room as she dresses for the day, Yetta being forced into the bathing chambers whilst Goddard is alone in there, conversations of sex being brought up at their meal times, and even being locked in their bedchamber for so long that Goddard ends up bum rushing the guards who bring them food at meal time.

.It’s not the best beginning, but there is a camaraderie that begins between them in their joint frustrations. Their attraction to one another begins in the written letters they send over the years. With Goddard working in Ferelden, and Yetta remaining in Ostwick, it’s the only way of communicating they have. And though it takes years, it’s hard to deny the way that their feelings grow each time Goddard gets some weeks away from the military.

.Together they have three children over the years, agreeing to stop trying after that due to Wakefield’s complicated birth. They remain happy together until this day, accepting a few blips over the years, and the rather gargantuan blunder of Goddard having an affair whilst incapacitated and presumed dead in Ferelden. Everything that is thrown at them is tackled head on and together, and it is obvious in almost everything that the do together, that their love grows ever stronger every minute they spent beside one another.

.TL:DR: all my heroes are happy and loved and alive :)c.

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saphirered · 3 years

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essek!!! honestly anything lol but maybe (i'll try to keep it vague for spoiler reasons) after ep 131 or ep 124, maybe a confession fic? if you aren't caught up just a general how a confession would go please! i love your writing and blog btw, all your caleb stuff is so 👌👌👌

Thank you for your request and yes I am caught up. I hope you enjoy this one.

Warning spoilers for Episode 124

Essek’s betrayal hit you hard. Sure you’d considered the possibility but being faced with that truth so upfront hurt, a lot. You’d been able to avoid him for the longest of times thanks to the Nein being taken in different directions. You simply couldn’t face him. After the party in Nicordanas you put on a brave face and you agreed with Caleb wholeheartedly but you didn’t have the strength to say these words yourself. Any interaction you had between then and now had been cordial and straight to the point whereas before there were plenty of pleasantries, some flirting even and the realisation your flirting was rooted within your own feelings. You’re a good enough people reader to know that his, at the very least were rooted in affection and before Nicodranas you might have seen a possible bright future for the both of you. Even after his betrayal was revealed your feelings remained but they were overshadowed by your pain. It felt like your heart was ripped from your chest.

The trust, kindness, his affections for you, were they all just something to be exploited in a bigger plot. He said at first he was using the Nein but he grew attached so had you just been a pawn in a bigger ploy he felt sorry for? So many questions you had asked yourself over the last weeks, months even at this point and none of them you dared to answer so you didn’t. You pushed them aside and moved on. You pushed Essek out of your mind because it was easier than dealing with the pain. Pushing something away only works for so long. He’d come back into your life sooner rather than later. Aeor came closer in view and after the absolute shit show with the Tombtakers all of you were at your wits end. You didn’t want to pull anyone along into this chaos and especially not a certain wizard who’s proven himself to be prone to his desires for pursuit of knowledge and power; a thing you’d be serving on a silver platter but you really had no better options at this point.

The closer to your destination you got the more closed off you became. Face devoid of emotion and voice monotone, direct and without a single break you’d begun to mentally prepare yourself for your upcoming encounter to the point where you were seriously considering you might actually prefer another encounter with the Tombtakers over facing Essek. Your gradual shift in behaviour must have caught some attention as you quickly had a Jester at your side attempting to make happy conversation and lift your spirit and provide distraction. You tried to play along but the pitying smile from Caleb told you about how good a job you were doing. Nevermind the tiefling never quit and you could appreciate that. Jester cares and you were hurting so she did whatever she could to make it better.

You eventually made it to the outpost and your ‘official’ mode kicked in taking over for Beau when she started butchering Undercommon. You presented yourself with an air of authority and purpose and that seemed to do the job very well. And there he was in all his miserable glory putting on a similar face as yours. He was caught off guard by Jester running in and hugging him and while he looked at you his eyes quickly avoided. Even though the conversations that followed you had no problem looking at him, sure he could feel your eyes burning but your gaze remained cold and distant; the way he had seen you face an enemy and the way you study when in company you don’t trust, watching the danger like a hawk for every single twitch. In this conversation it was very clear he had a hard time keeping eye contact but he was straight up avoiding both you and Caleb and you could put two and two together; shame. He was ashamed of everything he did and caused that much was sure.

In a more private setting without the continuous presence of Dynasty soldiers the Nein told him everything that had occurred the past few weeks and slowly but surely his facade faltered, the gravity of the situation kicking in and him contemplating, taking in all the information you provided. You didn’t speak to him directly and only gave your input when it came to queries among the Nein having nothing to add directed at Essek.

“I’ve spent so much of my life focussed on myself, my climb, all of my selfish needs. I’ve never really been trusted and so I did not trust. And I never let anyone close. I have been clouded in my judgement many times for a lot of my life. When I- when you gave me trust, it gave me a perspective that was so agonisingly striking. So easy to see that I refused to acknowledge it at first, even. I would be lying if I said that our paths crossing hasn’t shaken me to the core and I’m appreciative and thankful for this perspective, but you do not owe me trust for what I’ve done.” Those words hit hard and you found yourself biting down on your lip to prevent yourself from speaking. All the feelings you tried to push away so hard came back up and you were fighting to hold them at bay to prevent yourself from saying something you’d regret. Luckily the others jumped in allowing you to keep your silence.

The conversation continued and Caleb made some good points making sure to make eye contact with you every so often to make sure you were alright and in agreement. You were interrupted after the mentions of Dagen and some shouting outside. You’d say you were surprised but really you weren’t though the sight of the man holding onto one of the Aurora Watch soldiers while presenting the letter he was told to deliver was quite the sight and made you quickly cover up a snort. Not quick enough apparently as some did catch on. Eventually back inside Jester began to insinuate Caleb should show the red eyes on his skin but you quickly shut that down, the first words you had spoken since you got here.

“What are we talking about?” Essek asks confused.

“Nothing you need concern yourself with.” Your words were colder than you intended but got the message across clear it seemed. They quickly shifted the subject back to Lucien, Aeor, the Somnovum, Vess being indisposed, gathering further allies until you landed on possibly considering bringing Astrid and Eadwulf into this opposed to Trent himself it was revealed or more like confirmed Essek had had dealings with the man in the past, persuading you all not to go to the Assembly. And because Veth slipped up you had to come clean about Vess’ actual state; dead in the hands of Lucien who killed her without as much as the blink of an eye. You were very much aware he was on the brink of a mental breakdown and you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

Hot cocoa was passed around and you did not refuse Beau’s offer of a good pour of whiskey while the conversation continued in regards to the Beacons and some choice of words and theories around the Beacons that could be considered sacrilege among the Dynasty. You were planning out the delve into the ruins Essek suggesting it would be best to go your separate ways until you were ready to traverse Aeor. The conversation ends and you are about to go your separate ways bedding down for the night until you would travel to gather allies and supplies. Caleb stays at your side aware of how you’re handling things but he stops with you before you leave catching Essek by the forearm.

“Breathe. Just.. breathe that fresh air mindful of the people about. Time. Time. Not weeks. Not years. It takes time.” He was speaking to Essek but you knew the words were directed at you as well. For the first time you deliberately meet eyes looking over your shoulder as you join the rest of the Nein. You were lead to a reasonably sized room, small for all of you but much more preferable to the ice and snow outside. You take time to settle down and eventually sit down with Beau and Caleb.

“I don’t trust any of this.” You tell them hugging your knees to your chest.

“I’m with you. It’s just too much. Too many risks. To many cards not yet in play that could shake this whole game up.” Beau agrees.

“But we have to make a choice and Essek is our safest and most certain bet. Every option is risky.” Caleb has a point and it’s one you’ve been using to justify and be at peace with all of this.

“I’m afraid that he’s going to realise the pressure is too much and he’ll bolt. Or the Assembly catches up to him before we get back and they’ll rat him out but my biggest concern right now is for the Tombtakers to travel faster than we’re expecting. What if they get here? Our advantage will be gone.” The rest of the Nein having turned into the conversation had to agree with you there. If your or Essek’s enemies somehow got involved you’d be screwed.

“You got a point. So how do we solve this? Essek said it’s best to go our separate ways until we got our stuff sorted so we can’t really stick around and we’d still be traceable if we split up. It’s a risk we’ll have to take as it’s the safest for both of us now.” Beau contemplates trying to formulate a better plan. You already had a plan and you didn’t like it for one minute but it was all you got.

“I know how we solve this. You give me the amulet and I stay behind. That way they can’t scry on me as long as I’m here. They can scry on us when we’re together anyway and with only one amulet we’re not going to get very far. You gather everything we need, get whatever help we can get and come back here when you’re ready to leave.” You can hardly believe your own mind could make the decision regardless of your personal opinions.

“And you’re okay staying behind with Essek to keep an eye on him? What if Lucien and his gang shows up?”

“Beau, I’ll manage. My personal feelings don’t matter in the bigger picture for now. I can get over myself. As for the Tombtakers, Essek’s gonna be a fat load of good when he can’t use his magic. If they get here before you return I’ll get him out of here and to Aeor myself if I have to. Can’t defeat them but I sure as hell can outrun them for a while.” You assured them, a couple of nods and attempts to protest eventually resulted in the agreement. You’d stay behind. One final rest and everyone would be finishing their unfinished business, say their goodbyes and hellos, get their closure and prepare for the worst. Yet you couldn’t see yourself anywhere but here. Sure you wanted to be there for your friends but they could do without you. You were needed here so maybe your own unfinished business had to conclude right here where you are.

You said your goodbyes and the Nein were off leaving you alone in the makeshift chamber. You inhale deeply and exhale slowly counting to ten in your head and leave the room. The back of your mind tells you this was a mistake and you definitely couldn’t do this but there’s no way back now so you put on your brave face and make your way to Essek’s chambers. In front of the door you wait, count to ten again and put on your brave face before you knock on the door. The door swings open.

“Y/n. I was not expecting to see you. Please come in.” He speaks glancing around you for any of the guard that could possibly hear him. The moment you force yourself to enter the door closes behind you and you can see him deflate just a little, all manner of composure dropping for a moment before he looks up at you from behind his desk. Up front he may appear composed once more but his eyes tell a different story. Panic, surprise, questions, fear and shame.

“Have you come to say goodbye?” A slight break of his voice at the last word. Oh Essek you really dropped the ball haven’t you, you think to yourself.

“No actually. I came to tell you the others have left and I’ll be staying behind.” He goes to protest getting up from his seat. Fear, concern and something you can’t identify peak through.

“So unless you’re planning to take me to wherever they have gone yourself resulting in you having to get back here with all the potential risks you’ve priorly described, I’m staying here and there’s nothing you can do about it so suck it up, darling.” You mentally kick yourself for using that last word. You didn’t mean to but you slipped up falling back in old habits.

“You’re putting yourself at great risk by staying here so please let me take you back to the others.” He comes closer to you and you stay your ground.

“Sorry. Not going to happen, Essek. I’m staying. I can’t be scried upon so I’ll be fine.”

“There’s many more dangers than the risk of being scried upon.”

“Which ones would you be referring to? The assassins after you? Or maybe the risk of you being discovered? The person who sent the assassins getting antsy and exposing you to the Dynasty?Being a traitor to your nation and a catalyst in a bigger plot you have no control over? The Tombtakers and their shenanigans? Literally anything to do with Aeor? The alleged death and or plotting of the demise of extremely powerful mages? Keeping secrets and being prepared to find or create a scapegoat to cover up the fact that the peace agreement between two nations which is already hanging by a single thread was based on the lies and deceit of another? Or perhaps it’s your uncanny ability to pursuit the path to your own destruction and your terrible sense of judgement and eye for consequences? Oh or maybe the fact that if we don’t stop all of this the world like we know it will possibly come to an end and we’ll could just end up dealing with yet another Calamity scale event? Take your pick because I’m pretty sure I’m already involved in what? All of them? But please be my guest and pick one!” You lost all composure you had but the more you talk the more you realise you couldn’t keep all of this pent up. It does you no good.

“My apologies. I won’t ask for your forgiveness as-“ You cut him off. You’re on a roll so you’re gonna get this over with while you’re at it; speak your mind openly without restrained.

“Yet you still have it! For some stupid reason I find it within myself to forgive you for all horrible thing you’ve done but the one; I can’t seem to get over the fact you betrayed my trust. That you didn’t trust me when it mattered and that I was nothing but a pawn in your game and you discarded the trust I put in you so easily.” You can feel your voice crack multiple times throughout your words and you curse yourself for doing so. Essek looks at his feet lips tightly pushed together.

“Perhaps my expectations were too high.” You spat about to storm out of the room but the door remained closed.

“Essek let me go.” You glared at him. He couldn’t even give you that? A departure with dignity before you broke down?

“You’ve said your part I think it’s only fair I say mine. Though if you wish to leave I won’t hold you here. You’re free to set foot where you please. I know I have no right to but I ask only a moment.” You brace yourself already mentally kicking yourself for coming to this decision so quickly and not even being able to tell yourself why you shouldn’t.

“Fine. I’ll hear what you have to say.” You cross your arms and take a few steps back in his direction.

“From the moment I’ve met you I’ve been captivated by you but I simply couldn’t get over myself and admit to myself that maybe what I’m doing isn’t worth the collateral. You made me feel guilt and regret but I pushed that aside because I there was no way back from what I had already set into motion. I meant what i said, I have grown attached to your little group and I would even go as far as to call them friends something I haven’t been able to call anyone. Not truly without ulterior motives. But you’ve always been something more. I know I will repent for my sins but I will not drag you down that path with me. I love you too much to allow that to happen. So I beg of you, do not put yourself at risk for my sake.” Finally he looks at you without looking away or avoiding your direct gaze.

“I refuse to let you become collateral in my actions. No matter how much I want you at my side I know you simply cannot be and I have come to accept that. Please grant me the dignity of excluding you from my own demise.”

“What you want and what you get are two very different things Essek.” You definitely heard the proclamation of love but it was said in the heat of the moment so you let it go for now choosing to ignore it.

“Believe me I am very much aware. Just as I am aware I have ruined what we had and perhaps even the chance of one day earning your love should you ever give it to me. While I may wish I could change the past I would never change meeting you and the moments we shared. The mere thought of your smile makes me feel a fraction of your warmth in this cold wasteland and I could die a happy man should it be the last thing I see. I believe my worst fear to have come true when it became clear I may never see that smile of yours again. I cannot deny my feelings for you so I won’t and I will assure you I am honest and open when I say that I love you. I’d rather say it now before we both walk into our deaths when we set foot in those ruins.”

“I know I have no right to and I will admit I am a selfish man when I hope you will at least tell me that you might have shared my feelings were the circumstances different.” His feet touch the ground and he studies you for any response but finds none.

“You are a fool. Hopeless. You are selfish and hardly ever look out for anyone but yourself. You would betray anyone if it were to further your own interests or save your own hide. You’d sacrifice anything and anyone to get what you want, price be damned.” You begin stepping closer to him and you can see him break just a little on the inside.

“That’s what I want to believe but I simply can’t. My own mind argues against all the things it reasonably tries to claim you to be. Yes you are a fool but you are also one of the cleverest and most intriguing people I’ve ever met. You’re not hopeless. You are selfish but your selfishness knows boundaries as displayed by your guilt and regret and shame. You would betray anyone but only if it meant you it allowed you to save what you care about and you’d sacrifice anything and everything to protect it. But I still wonder. Was it worth it? Making the choices you did was it worth putting yourself in this place?”

“No. Most of the results while desired were not worth the cost.” Again the guilt and shame rises.

“Then you have learned. So I will give you what you need; my honestly. We both know that these flirtations we’ve had are more than just that. Back then I could have seen a future where you and I could have had something beautiful but I will also admit I have not seen the same thing ever since our last meeting. I do not see a future not because my feelings for you have disappeared but simply because it is unpredictable. It’s fickle much like the Dunamancy you study. And that’s exactly how a future should be, right? Uncertain and unpredictable. What we’re walking into is just that. So if we do make it out alive I’m sure that future will be much clearer once we’re no longer on the brink of destruction.” You step up close enough and put a hand on his cheek making him look you in the eye.

“I don’t understand.” He begins.

“Let me spell it out for you.” You move your lips closer to his and when he doesn’t pull away you place your lips on his in a chaste kiss.

“Do you get it now?” You say as you pull apart.

“I think I may need another explanation to make sure I caught that right.” He stumbles a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks so you oblige and kiss him again.

“I love you.” You say leaning your forehead against his.

“I love you too.” Both of you laugh taking in the craziness of the situation. You went from being upset to arguing to honesty and a confession of love. This truly must be something recorded in some romance novel in Jester’s collection. Ridiculous but true.

“You may be a fool Essek Thelyss, but you are my fool and don’t you forget.”

#critical role x reader #mighty nein x reader #essek x reader #essek theyless #critrole x reader

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 3 years

Text

Was Ugetsu manipulative?

Some time ago, I posted my AkiUgetsu timeline thread on Twitter and was asked in the replies if I thought Ugetsu was manipulative. I had seen that discourse around, but I have never really pondered about it. So, I thought I’d take this opportunity to see if I thought he was manipulative.

Before I get more into this, though, a couple of disclaimers.

Firstly, this is merely an answer to a question. I am not responding to any piece of anti/pro-Ugetsu discourse out there. Also, this is just my personal take on things. I am not posing this as one and only correct interpretation. If someone agrees with me, great. If someone disagrees, that’s also fine. I’m not trying to tell anyone how to feel about Ugetsu’s character or the AkiUgetsu relationship.

Secondly, it’s no secret that I’m an Ugetsu and Akihiko stan and AkiUgetsu is my Given OTP. That disposition is good to keep in mind by whoever is reading this. However, I try to put my own biases aside when writing these kinds of analyses. Just because I love Ugetsu’s character doesn’t mean I’m only going to write things that my fellow-Ugetsu-fans like to hear. But I am interpreting things as someone who claims to understand his side of things, and I understand if that might seem like I’m already being too biased to someone.

End of disclaimers!

“Do you think Ugetsu was being "manipulative"? Many people call him that and it hurts me a little”

I found this a surprisingly challenging question when I wasn’t given any concrete examples of Ugetsu supposedly being manipulative. It was difficult to grasp that perspective by myself when I was going through the manga.

Usually, I don’t have big trouble putting my own bias aside for these things, but now I felt like I was questioning/second-guessing myself at every turn. Because I feel like you can see Ugetsu as manipulative if you simply take that point of view/stance. The answer is in the question.

But trying to make myself do that felt like I was going against my interpretation of what kind of story Ugetsu and AkiUgetsu are telling regardless of my bias. I really don’t think Kizu wrote Ugetsu as some kind of toxic/manipulative villain, so trying to take that stance felt untrue from the get-go. But on the other hand, if I was really this unable to see things from the manipulation perspective, was I just letting my bias cloud my thinking? Can you see my struggle?

In the end, I decided to go with what “manipulation” I myself can see. So, I’m sure many people will disagree with me on this reading.

Some time ago, I wrote another piece about AkiUgetsu when I was asked why do I think they stayed together for so long even though they were both suffering. In that, I explained how I tend to visualize AkiUgetsu in two ways: a circle/cycle, and two layers on top of each other. I think the layers might help me in explaining how I see the “manipulative Ugetsu” interpretation.

One of the reasons why I think AkiUgetsu got so bad was the ambiguity of their relationship. There were two layers to what they were. Officially and on the surface, they were platonic roommates. Both of them were single on paper and free to date other people if they so desired. In this regard, Ugetsu was in his full right to sleep with other people without that making him a “slut” or a “cheater”.

But under that “official”, platonic, and visible layer, there was another hidden layer that was what still bound them together. Under the surface, they were still emotionally and occasionally even physically involved with each other. They still had feelings for each other, and living together only kept those feelings lingering and tying them to each other despite how painful it was.

These two layers created a “yes, but…” situation in many ways in AkiUgetsu as roommates. The ambiguity gave room for very mixed messages from Ugetsu’s part which is where I think the “manipulation” interpretation can be found if somewhere. It’s quite easy to take a look at Ugetsu dating other people while also allowing Akihiko to stay with him as Ugetsu manipulatively stringing Akihiko along. He could have his cake and eat it, too.

And I’m sure that’s at least partly how it came across to Akihiko, too (vol. 4 ch. 20):

Ugetsu appearing to be hot and then cold was a painful game of hem and haw for Akihiko. He was confused and frustrated by Ugetsu not making a decision and sticking to it, especially since he knew Akihiko still loved him. It felt like Ugetsu was indulging him out of pity. Akihiko had never wanted to break up in the first place, so if Ugetsu was going to throw him a bone or give him some kind of leeway, Akihiko was unable to let that pass and stop holding on to Ugetsu. And I have a feeling that Ugetsu knew Akihiko would stay, too, if he gave him even a slither of hope.

So, yes, I do think that to some extent, Ugetsu was aware of how much his indecisive behavior was hurting Akihiko (vol. 3 ch. 17):

He knew his actions probably came across as cruel to Akihiko. I think he was aware of the fact that he was hurting him when he slept with someone else while not rejecting Akihiko properly. So, I’m not trying to say he was innocent or couldn’t have handled their relationship as roommates better. If he wanted both of them to stop suffering, he should have made up his mind and not allow himself to waver.

All in all, I’m also not surprised if this side of Ugetsu’s behavior can come across as manipulative and selfish to some readers. I could see that.

But I think if you leave your interpretation at that, you are looking at things only on the surface level and ignoring a lot of how Ugetsu feels. Ugetsu’s character is all about seeing behind what he says or how he behaves.

Just as Akihiko felt like he “can’t quit” Ugetsu no matter how much it hurt, the same applied to Ugetsu as well (vol. 4 ch. 17):

When Ugetsu slept with someone else, Akihiko took it as him ceasing the chance to finally get rid of Akihiko and to provoke him. And he kind of got it right, but the tone was actually different from Ugetsu’s point of view. He was trying to take the chance to end their relationship, but because he was unable to do it as such, he purposefully hurt Akihiko to push him away. Ugetsu made himself the bad guy when trying to break up with Akihiko for good because he himself couldn’t take that last step of walking away. He needed Akihiko to do that.

When Ugetsu told Mafuyu about why he had originally broken up with Akihiko but why he was so powerless to let go of him now, Mafuyu heard it as Ugetsu’s “scream”. He saw how much in pain Ugetsu was behind his words.

And that’s the thing. Ugetsu was suffering in the same cycle as Akihiko. His own indecisiveness was bringing himself pain just the same (vol. 5 ch. 27):

On one hand, Ugetsu couldn’t picture Akihiko not coming back and leaving him for good. Whenever he thought “maybe…”, he always arrived at “no…”. He recognized Akihiko might leave one day but couldn’t imagine his life without him. He was just as unable to let go as Akihiko was – probably even more – and yet, he also wanted the suffering to end. Try to grasp the level of the complex inner conflict of that.

And this is what I meant when I said that with Ugetsu, you need to see behind the surface. He wasn’t giving mixed messages (or being “manipulative”, if you want to call it that) out of some kind of malice. When he was seemingly willfully ignoring the second layer of his relationship with Akihiko by openly dating other people, he was trying to push Akihiko away and free them both. He wasn’t toying with him for his own amusement.

But he also lacked the resolve to go through with the last step of breaking up – just like Akihiko before the intervention of him moving out for a while – which came across as him indulging Akihiko’s lingering feelings cruelly out of pity. Under the surface, though, the truth was he also “couldn’t quit” Akihiko and was suffering from the same pain as him.

Ugetsu wasn’t innocent of any wrongdoings. He should have done some things differently. Just as Akihiko was ultimately responsible for not leaving, so was Ugetsu for not sticking to his decision of breaking up and not allowing Akihiko to linger. Personally, I don’t agree with the “Ugetsu did nothing wrong” discourse. They were both “guilty” in their prolonged suffering.

However, that is not to say I don’t sympathize with both of them. I understand why they couldn’t let go of each other despite all the pain. So, I honestly can’t vilify either of them. The way they were struggling and yet unable to stop was very human to me. “Should have” often isn’t nearly as easy as “could have”.

I think you can interpret Ugetsu as manipulative if you want to. You can interpret any character in a bad light if you want to. But in doing so, I think you’re only seeing the “what” and ignoring the “why”. You’re missing the complex, between-the-lines flip side of the coin that I think is at the very core of Given – especially regarding Ugetsu’s character and the AkiUgetsu relationship.

#given #murata ugetsu #akiugetsu #my given post #answered ask #kinda...

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hualianff · 3 years

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Fire On Fire

Thinking about a shapeshifter AU where predators and the prey are segregated via borders. The prey inhabit lands with better resources and environment while the predators reside in areas with harsh weather conditions and animals that did not evolve into shapeshifters for them to hunt.

The council of ancestors that determined these borders consisted of both prey and predator representatives, as every species lived in harmony during this time. But because the populations were rising at an incredibly high rate, establishing official borders seemed to be the next viable step.

The council granted the prey lands where the sun shines and the crops flourish because those were the best conditions for their kinds to survive. Despite the predators being pushed to the areas with fewer domestic resources, the council had hoped they would maintain amicable relationships with the prey, to trade or ask for help when they needed.

This arrangement worked up until the last ancestor from the council passed away.

After this, history became histories.

The prey gradually painted predators as selfish creatures, greedy for more than the lands they were assigned. Prey are also taught that though predators worked with them in the past, their selfish and violent nature couldn’t be contained. That’s why predators were assigned lands far away in obscure places: to protect the prey from their advances.

(Only a few select predators were allowed within the prey walls. This is after an extensive background check, an adjusted diet, and constant monitoring.)

The predator society claims that the predator ancestors were tricked into a deal where they received the less desirable portions of lands. When the predators tried to re-negotiate, the prey marked them as aggressors, chalking it up to their predator nature. Thus, the prey began mobilizing and alienated predators, further promoting the injustice against predators beginning from their ancestors.

Centuries passed by; the divide only widened.

Within the last few years, the predators have been taking action to conquer over prey lands and resources si their species have been suffering from food shortages, harsh winters, lack of water, etc., for centuries. Predators have been training their warriors to use their predator senses and weapons to the best of their abilities in order to capture the prey villages on the outskirts of the prey borders.

In retaliation, the prey have been amassing weapons and machinery to combat the predators’ war tactics.

It’s a steady build-up to one huge battle.

XL’s village, one of the oldest and wealthiest outside of the inner-city, was invaded and burned down. XL himself barely escaped, chased by a pack of wolves that separated him from his friends and family.

Driven to and across predator borders, XL is starved and heavily injured from the altercation with enemy predators that last over a week. They catch up to his scent one last time, circling him and about to finish him off as XL cowers in weasel form.

Then, a massive body swoops in, roaring ferociously as he takes a swipe at the biggest wolf. HC, in his tiger form, intercepts the wolves who have brought disorder to his territory.

As a tiger, HC is considered a wild breed, the most dangerous to society. Prey are especially wary about wild breeds at the top of the food chain, including wolves, tigers, lions, foxes, etc.

However, HC is a rogue predator who isn’t on the predator or prey’s side. His territory is officially neutral ground.

After finishing off the wolves, HC turns to the albino weasel who lies pitifully on the ground. The weasel has passed out from exhaustion, hunger, and pain–nearly on his last legs. HC doesn't hesitate to gather the trembling body up in his jaws and sprint back to safety.

HC brings XL into his home to heal him, shelter him, and feed him back to health.

The tiger shapeshifter is indifferent at first. He doesn’t desire to be a savior out of the goodness of his heart. But he’s very much aware of how scared the little weasel must be after being persuaded by a band of hungry wolves.

The weasel probably views HC as the same type of merciless monster.

Yet, HC doesn’t want to be feared by those who mean him no harm. While he’s not the most approachable shifter, he is by no means hostile without reason.

For the first two weeks, XL stays in his weasel form. Being in one’s most primal state brings the most comfort and instinctual security.

Cue HC being ever so gentle while tending to the weasel’s wounds and sliding a bowl of food to the shaking weasel. HC speaks slowly and makes no fast movements. He gives XL his space and promises he only intends to help XL heal back to health.

The third week, HC walks into his small living room to see, instead of a small s weasel on a pillow, a human form resting on his couch, long hair curtaining his face.

A confused chuff makes it past HC’s lips without his permission.

(XL, waking up and freezing once making eye contact with HC: 😳🥺😰

HC, surprised at himself for reacting in such a way he couldn’t control, lowkey embarrassed: *turns around and strides into the kitchen*)

Over the next few months, XL continues his road to recovery, but he becomes comfortable enough to be in human form and hold conversations with HC. He soon learns how HC was raised outside of a predator civilization, meaning his ideals are completely different.

HC doesn’t eat prey shifters or kill for joy like many predators are known to do. During his childhood, HC’s mother taught him how to scavenge for food and distinguish which fruits were and were not poisonous.

(“I’m what many predators refer to as a ‘plant-mouth,’” HC mentions with a chuckle. “I eat fruits and vegetables like prey instead of mostly meat.”

“Fruits and vegetables are delicious. They’re missing out,” XL states light-heartedly. HC nods, strands of long hair falling over his shoulder.

“They also don’t have the best environment to grow crops. Up until a few years ago, I didn’t either. Under severe circumstances, I’ve had to survive off of shifters—predator and prey alike,” HC says solemnly, a storm clouding in his mismatched eyes. XL falls quiet after that, wondering just how much HC has gone through on his own in predator territory.

“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to talk about...that so casually,” HC immediately apologies, assuming XL was on edge about the topic of eating shifters. XL shakes his head, reaching over to place a placating hand on HC’s. The tiger shapeshifter’s eyes widen, zeroing in on their touching hands.

“It’s okay. I’m in no place to judge,” XL says, his expression sincere. “I suppose I’ve been quite privileged and sheltered all my life. Talking about the challenges you have faced helps me understand your experiences. Perhaps, in the future, if everyone listened to each other without jumping to conclusions, the world could be a safer and more equal place, regardless if you are predator or prey.”

“Perhaps. It would take a great deal of effort and empathy, though,” HC says with a hint of bitterness, pursing his lips.

XL exhales heavily. “Indeed, it would.”

HC turns his hand upward, connecting their warm palms, calloused skin against bruised skin.)

(II)

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hualian #hualian au #xie lian #hua cheng #cerdrabbles #sorry for starting new AUs i promise the other ones are planned i just need to write them out #tiger HC #weasel XL #think about why XL is prey ;)#I definitely made up the term: albino weasel

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shreddedleopard · 3 years

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Twelve-million more reasons Historia and Levi are part of the Endgame. With Pictures.

You can read the first post I made on this here:

10 reasons it would make narrative sense for Levi and Historia’s character arcs to end together.

(This is the mega-evolved version.)

Okay, I’m going to put this out there now, and before you judge me, please just read the posts. You don’t have to agree. This is just an idea. But it makes a stupid amount of sense, at least to me. So here's your fair warning (and now I'm being bold): If you don’t want to potentially be spoiled, Do Not Read On.

Here’s the Theory:

Historia Reiss will give birth to a half-Ackerman child, and together with Levi, from the ashes and ruins of the world Eren destroyed, they will welcome the dawn of a new age for humanity, where Ymir’s curse and the power of the Titans is extinct.

I know. I sound like some crazy, Rivahisu nut. Granted, I am, but I’m not mad enough to make a claim like this without a shit-ton of evidence, because it’s such a damn twist it feels like it can’t be true. But just humour me.

Here’s the theory, then we’ll look at why it makes sense and how it might have been foreshadowed. Please note: I have less clue how this will tie in to Eremika endgame, so I haven’t mentioned this as much, but obviously that will be the other very important side of this coin.

10 months ago (In Japan, full term pregnancy is counted as 10 months), at the banquet celebrating completion of the new railroad, Levi and Historia, having had 3 and a bit years to bond over their shared experiences and become close, may have gotten carried away together and shared one night of being a bit more than friends. She’s well into her 18th year at this point, just to clear that up. This resulted in Historia getting pregnant. Okay just stay with me; I know. I know. I sound crazy. But hear me out. So this pregnancy, contrary to the belief of the MPs and rest of the damn world, was the complete opposite of planned. Historia tells Levi, and Levi immediately panics. Because, to steal Kenny’s famous line, Levi thinks to himself ‘I can’t be some kid’s dad.’

Levi does what he always does best, and shuts down into business mode, telling Historia she will need to cover it up somehow. Historia does as he asks, probably reluctantly, because she really has developed very deep feelings for him during the timeskip, and finds some farm hand to take the blame, likely saying she made a silly mistake with some random and the father doesn’t want anything to do with the child, and so she needs a father for the child not to be illegitimate. Which is her worst nightmare, because of course, that’s what she was. Levi watches the exchange hidden in that famous hood, feeling very conflicted, because although he cares about her, he thinks it best if no one knows that it was him that got the Queen pregnant, and of course, he’s duty bound, with a vow to fulfil, so he has no time to be worrying about a family. (Silly Levi!)

How ironic this conversation would be if this theory were true. Remember, Historia was completely willing to eat Zeke if needed. Instead, she got pregnant, unplanned, nothing to do with any plot or selfish wishes, just the result of a spontaneous act of love by two people who’ve grown to care for one another a lot. ANYWAY.

Because we know Levi actually has a good heart, he feels immensely guilty for all of this; he's just a product of his upbringing and thinks he doesn’t know the first thing about families, so it's better for all involved if he not be. See where this is going? The old cursed history repeating? Making the same mistakes as our parents? Plus, Levi is bound by his duty. He is incredibly important to the military still, and he cannot just abandon this for any of his own selfish wishes. He’s supposed to be the one to vanquish the beast titan.

Cue ten months of Historia looking hella depressed and hopeless, and Levi being even more of an asshole than usual to everyone, and not really wanting to say too much at all, as well as making some terrible workplace decisions (lol) poor boy be distracted.

Look at his face 😭

Yes Levi. A month. Which means Historia is now due and you’re still stuck with beardy, without a solution and pretty soon no reason for the MPs not to turn the mother of your child into a Titan.

That’s what that face is. I thought he looked a bit weird first time I read these panels 🤔 He didn’t know about the wine. We see that later. Anyway, I keep getting distracted, stop. I’ll come back to this.

But fear not; Levi will have a choice to make.

So this is where it gets a bit more iffy for me, because I'm not sure how it would work, so this could be a way off, BUT. I believe it will come to light that the combination of Royal and Ackerman genes will somehow cancel out a person’s ability to turn into a titan and connection through paths, thus making them truly ‘free.’

The founding titan has the ability to change Eldian physiology, according to what Zeke learned from professor Xavier.

EDIT: Okay so here’s where I’ve had to tweak this a bit in light of there latest chapter. So we just had Zeke in PATHS. With none other than our second resident genius, and as proclaimed by Eren, the saviour of humanity: Armin. What do our boys have a conversation about? Reproduction and the importance of the small moments in life - it’s these little moments which matter, regardless of the desire or need to recreate. Interesting how both the leaf and baseball link back to what their ideas of ‘family’ became. If Historia and Levi were to be in the same scenario in PATHS, what would their items be? What truly means family to them both?

Perhaps Armin and Zeke realise what is needed to lift the curse of the titans - maybe a blueprint for genes which can cancel out the connection to PATHS and the founder? If only they had a child with a new type of Royal-Ackerman DNA which might fit the bill ...

Here’s Levi’s moment. He, with Historia, has created such a child - completely by accident, because of one of those ‘moments’ that both Armin and Zeke mention - moments that are simply just about enjoying what you have with no sense of how it might relate to anything bigger - a real rarity for both of them, considering their roles and constantly being asked to think about the good of humanity as a whole. What a beautiful irony, that in the moment they chose to be selfish and, to use freckled Ymir’s own words, really live for themselves, they set a chain reaction in motion that would ultimately save humanity.

Where does this leave Eren and Mikasa? Good question. I believe Eren will die once the curse is removed, because tragically he is the character that has been forced to choose humanity over his own personal relationships. As Isayama has said before, Eren is a victim of the story. Mikasa will be the last thing he sees, hence the original dream at the start of the manga, where he wakes up crying. Something like this. But probably a lot better. Yeah.

Out of the ashes of the old world, a new one will be built, but through Historia’s kindness and love, and Levi’s guilt and understanding of what was sacrificed in the past, society will not repeat the same mistakes. The final panel could be Jean holding his child, perhaps with Mikasa, if she ever manages to get over losing Eren. That would be vague enough so that Isayama was able to show it to us already without spoiling much. Or maybe Jean’s dead and it’s not him at all. I don’t know. 😭

Right. Okay. So now you’re going, sweet story, but uh, there’s no way Levi could be the father. He’s so much older. Isayama wouldn't write a moment of romance like that. Not with him and Historia. YOU’RE JUST CRAZY.

Well this is where it get’s interesting. LET ME SHOW YOU. It’s foreshadowed literally everywhere. Right under our noses.

There is so much symbolism.

Dedicate your heart to what? has been Levi’s question recently. What are they all fighting for? What is he fighting for? How will he give meaning to his dead comrades sacrifices? Is killing Zeke really the extent of it? Is vengeance the true meaning of their sacrifices? Or is it something a lot more hopeful?

The answer is shown to us in the opening credits. And the ending credits. Several times.

Levi says so himself - he keeps messing fulfilling the vow up - why? Why is he so worried about killing Zeke?

Eren has the same questions to consider. Which PATH is the right one to take - revenge and violence with the rumbling, or love ... with Mikasa. We are literally shown what their choices will be in two virtually identically designed panels, which I’ll show you. Tragically, Eren’s choice is taken from him. He is a victim to the story - he must chose the path that saves humanity. Levi and Eren have been bound together through the theme of choices, and taking the ones which leave you with the least regrets, throughout this entire manga.

The upcoming anime episodes literally plot out the timeline of Levi and Historia’s changing attitude to one another, and then Historia’s pregnancy, it’s just so cleverly subtle. Isayama even tells us when/ during what event her child was probably conceived by just dropping dates in from other, seemingly unrelated plot lines.

Zeke gives pointed comments to Levi constantly - every other line of his is either a different jab at Levi about Historia’s pregnancy, a veiled question, or a reminder that he’s under the pressure of a 10 month time limit to do something about him, or Historia will have to eat him once she’s given birth. We start to see Levi unravel because of this, and make mistakes over and over.

It’s in official art. It’s in the soundtrack. Its in music videos. There’s interviews from Isayama that, when read in light of these ideas, suddenly take on a whole new meaning.

Isayama even trolls us. He’s laughing in our faces, the madman. Like, gotchu 🤣 suckers. While we’re all on Reddit and Twitter like, ‘Levi’s character has become so stagnated! He’s making such poor choices or not giving anything to the plot at all. All that’s left for him now is to give up and die! Be at peace, your story is over.’ OOF. Or, ‘Historia has just been forgotten! She’s become such a pointless character. Isayama just got bored with her and sidelined her.’

I’m going to try and write stuff up in the rough categories below, but these might change. I’ll link them when I’m done, and then pin this post. I’m a bit of a rambler so heads up - this may take a while 😅

There’s also a ton of people I have to mention who have contributed to this - I didn’t spot it by myself. I’ll tag them in the finished post too.

Historia and Levi’s Miscalculation: A manga tale featuring the Jaeger Bros., Pt. 1

Historia and Levi’s Miscalculation: A manga tale featuring the Jaeger Bros., Pt. 2

Historia and Levi’s Miscalculation: A manga tale featuring the Jaeger Bros., Pt. 3

Ackerman-Royal Bloodline and Levi’s Choice Pt. 1

Levi’s Choice Pt. 2

Suns, Moons and Songs

Akatsuki No Requiem - Right theory, Wrong guy

The Farmer and The Cattle Farming Goddess, or WHAT’S IN A NAME.

Mistakes of our parents and breaking the cycle

Memories from the future & Levi’s Guilt

Watch this space. And hold on to your pants. If I’m right, I’m getting very drunk.

#shingeki no kyojin spoilers #shingeki no kyojin manga theory #historia pregnancy #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #aot #levi ackerman #historia reiss #rivahisu

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noodlecupcakeswritings · 3 years

Text

An Unbreakable Bond - Chapter 11 (Kylo RenxOC)

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren now has everything he could possibly dream of, except for someone to rule by his side. And he’ll do anything to get Cora back.

The final fic in my Kylo/Cora Star Wars canon series. This is most definitely a TROS fix it fic because fuck that movie and shitty writing.

Please leave likes, comments and reblogs if you like it. If you want to be added to the taglist, please let me know.

Warnings: Smut, Oral sex, Throne sex, Glove kink, Vaginal fingering, Language

Chapter 11

Cora

Two weeks later

Kylo was a little more trusting of me now, not completely, but he didn’t mind me leaving his quarters providing he escorted me. However, today I felt a little braver and ventured to the throne room by myself. My entry was questioned by the two guards. I held back a sigh; I suppose they had to be cautious, as I was considered a prisoner. “I request an audience with the Supreme Leader,” I explained firmly. They glanced at each other before stepping aside to allow me entry. I entered the room, finding more armed guards inside. Not that he would need them, they would just buy him time if there was an attack.

Kylo sat upon his throne, looking…bored. Until he saw me, quickly straightening in his seat. Standing before him, I swallowed my pride and knelt, which took him by surprise. He was always more willing to talk when he was happy. Kylo dismissed the guards, knowing I didn’t pose a threat. “Cora, have you finally come to swear your loyalty to your Supreme Leader?” He asked with a soft smirk. “Not exactly. You looked bored.” “Not bored, just thinking.” “About what?” I asked, a little hopeful.

“That my empress shouldn’t need to kneel before me. Why don’t you try the throne out, see how good it feels, how well it would suit you?” Kylo rose from his throne and offered me his hand. Taking it, I stood back up, glancing over his shoulder at the throne. Kylo Ren had never taken no as an answer, no matter how many times I gave it. To me, it was nothing more than a fancy chair; it didn’t mean anything. “Alright, but I doubt it will change my mind.” I shrugged. Stepping past him, I got myself comfortable on the throne. A few seconds passed. My mind didn’t change. I didn’t come to some great revelation or hunger for power. It still meant nothing to me.

“You don’t like it?” Kylo asked. “It’s just a chair to me.” Kylo knelt before me, his hands vanishing beneath my skirt to caress my legs. When he determined I wasn’t going to protest, he pushed the skirt up my legs to my thighs. His lips trailed up my legs, past my knees, to my thighs. I bit my lip as heat gathered between my legs. “Perhaps there’s another type of throne you’d like to try,” Kylo suggested, pulling my panties off. Spreading my legs further, Kylo pressed more kisses across my inner thighs until his lips met my wetness.

He groaned at my taste, his tongue quickly finding my clit. Moaning, I tangled my fingers in his hair. Kylo hooked my legs over his shoulders, burying his face deeper between my legs, as if he couldn’t get enough of me. His tongue worked in quick circles, his fingers digging into my hips to keep me still. Looking down at him between my legs, I could now maybe see some appeal to this throne. Kylo met my gaze through heavy lids, smiling against me as he forced more moans from my lips. He pushed two leather clad fingers into me, curling them against my g-spot. With the added stimulation it didn’t me long to cum.

Throwing my head back, I cried out his name as he worked me through every wave until I was left breathless and shaking. Kylo pulled away and gave me a few moments to recover as he licked his lips clean with a cocky smirk on his face. “Still not the throne you had in mind?” He asked. “I imagine you have another one you’d like me to try.” “I do. It’s something I’ve thought of often.” Using the armrests, I pushed myself up on slightly shaky legs. Kylo took his place back on the throne, loosening his belt and freeing his hard cock.

With his hands on my hips, he guided me back and down onto his cock. Both of us moaned at the contact, Kylo wrapping an arm around my waist so my back was flush with his broad chest. He used his thighs to spread my legs wider before starting a fast pace. Kylo’s free hand wrapped around my throat and turned my head to the side so he could kiss me hungrily. We exchanged moans and heavy pants between kisses. Kylo’s fingers slipped lower, now circling my clit. I suppose he didn’t have much time to spare in his busy schedule.

“Cum, for your Supreme Leader,” he growled in my ear. The pleasure reached its peak, Kylo soon pushing me over the edge. I cried out in pleasure as my walls clenched around his cock. Kylo growled, his thrusts getting harder before he reached his own climax, filling me with his seed. He kissed across my neck and shoulder lazily, still holding me still on his lap. “Maybe I should add this to my morning schedule,” Kylo suggested.

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Looking out at the vastness of the galaxy, I contemplated my current options. Continue on the original mission to get Ben back and take down The First Order from the inside or give in and become Kylo’s empress? With Snoke gone, Kylo seemed more willing to listen to me, but Sidious couldn’t be trusted and would surely try anything to make Kylo fully embrace the dark side. That likely meant my life was in danger. Leias life was in danger. With no family or anyone that loved Kylo around him, there would be nothing to stop him from turning completely to the dark. But if I became empress that would mean I would get a say in not only Kylo’s actions but The First Orders. And those who questioned me would be dealt with by their Supreme Leader.

It had been weeks since Varidun had last contacted me through the force. Part of me expected to never hear from him again now that Sidious was back. And I couldn’t blame him for being afraid, but I also couldn’t deny that it hurt to be abandoned once more. The Resistance wouldn’t help, they would be too outmatched. I would have to fight this battle alone. Perhaps I was destined to be alone. My own inner struggles and stubbornness would see to that. And yet, even with all my flaws and imperfections, there was a man who was willing to give me anything and everything my heart desired. A home and a family. All I had to do was say yes. A small part of me clung to reminding me that it would be wrong to give in. But the line between right and wrong was becoming more and more unclear each day.

It would be selfish to think of myself and my happiness. At least that’s what I kept telling myself, regardless of how long I had sacrificed my happiness. There had been so much pain and misery all because of my resistance, so what if I just gave in? There was no way Kylo would turn and run from Sidious. That was a death wish. I understood now more than ever that he had to stay and see things through. If he didn’t leave when we lost Kendra, he wouldn’t leave for anything. And with how things were going, I knew I would have to accept that.

Taglist: @dinlustrous, @sweetsec-93, @cltex84, @neeharlow

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greenteabtch · 3 years

Note

your characterizations of sebastian are so interesting and got me thinking! how does meeting helena impact seb? does he go through some kind of development in his relationship to the chantry over their years? what point in terms of self-image would you love for him to get to?

Hi Gabi!! Thank you for asking :) you’re about to enter the #Deep Sebastian Lore.

So before I begin to tackle this, I feel like it’s important to acknowledge that there are many different interpretations of Seb’s character. I consider him a lot more malleable in final interpretation than a lot of the da2 companions because his Rivalry and Friendship route actually results in two very different outcomes with regards to primary characterization. (Other characters like Merrill also have this, but I personally don’t consider a rivalry route with her or Isabela to be healthy or done well in any valid manner of speaking so I do not see it I am looking away.)

As a quick sum, Sebastian’s Friendship path commits him further to the chantry and quells his disagreement and conflict with his role as a brother, thus making him more complacent, while his Rivalry path spurs him to reclaim Starkhaven by encouraging him to give in to his dissent and impulses, eventually making him more headstrong.

Both of these are valid because each character trait that gets emphasized, depending on the path, all make up the whole of Sebastian as he is. He is compassionate, pious, and faithful, but also rash, stubborn, and witty.

This is all set up to say that in my personal canon, I follow the rivalry path because it aligns the best with my personal experiences and identity, as well as (in my opinion) encourages Sebastian to fulfill his wants best. Unlike other rivalry paths, it is able to encourage growth and development in a manner that isn’t harsh and abusive, as it targets his ideas and ideology taught to him rather than his personality or integral core as a person. I like that it inspires him to question the chantry as an institution while maintaining his faith in a personal way.

In addition to that, (cw for mentions of neglect and abuse) the rivalry path allows him to take his faith, and his expression of that, into his own hands. From a young age, The Vaels believed that their youngest son of three, Sebastian, was a disgrace to the family name, and would be a weight around his brothers' necks. According to the wiki, Sebastian had always had faith but it was not his will to enter the chantry. His short story implicates how drastic the situation was for him, as he describes the Chantry as a prison, his room as a cell, the guard as his jailor, and even more, but notes how he is still wont to pray to Andraste for his safe escape. Even so, when he is given the “opportunity” (It doesn’t feel like a true opportunity, as I read it, but I digress) to leave, he is trapped, stuck by his parents’ descriptions of himself and what he will be if he chooses to leave. “Words race through my head: useless, aimless, selfish, alone.”

Because of this, I don’t truly believe that it is necessary for him to recommit his vows of chastity, poverty, or any others as a brother in order to stay true to his faith or his character. Traumatized by his parent’s neglect for him as the son “left in the cold,” for they already had the “heir and the spare”, Sebastian was forced to accept his position as one that would never be of value to his parents, purely because of his order of birth. He was resigned to be worthless (which, I honestly think was the reason he acted out so heavily as a youth), till his parents gave him an out by committing himself to the Chantry. As a result, I connect the friendship path of staying as a brother as one that is not the kindest (as it may appear), but the one that is the most affirming of his worst fears for himself. That he, his desires, wants, dreams, and choices, are worth nothing unless he resigns himself to a life of piety and service. In sum, there are many ways to keep that faith the way he had always had it without giving up the excitement of life and love he clearly thrives in by recommitting him to the Chantry.

Personal Canon: I believe that Helena immediately presents herself as an aloof and standoffish force for Sebastian, though one that does not deter him, but challenges him. He certainly has no trouble befriending any companion (except for Varric, but that’s more about his insecurities than Sebastian’s lmao), and Helena is no different. More than just his general disposition to making friends, though, he has a curiosity about her. Because she works directly and has no qualms about violence as a tool to aid others, he sees an inkling of his desires or questions about himself in her and she encourages that further just by her actions. Other than the attraction things (they both like to cook, they both think the other is hot, they have similar family situations, they’re both secretly compe-- ok i’ll stop) he has a vested interest in listening to her disagree with him because she is a part of a new perspective that he has never considered, nor ever been given the option to.

For my custom rivalry path, Helena expresses consistent disagreement with how Seb has been treated, both by Elthina and by his parents, and encourages him to make the choice that he wants, not what the chantry wants or what his family wanted.

Throughout the acts, Helena allows him to vent his contentions with his role to her, usually over food as they watch the sunset outside the Chantry. For Helena, things run very simply, not exactly black and white, but in a manner where she knows exactly which group of grays each action lies in. I think this simplicity is helpful in getting Sebastian to confront his past. For example:

“My parents thought I was a disgrace to the family, so they forced me into the Chantry to make something of myself.”

Helena looks at him with wild and confused eyes. “They didn’t like how you acted so they imprisoned you? Didn’t they care for you?”

“Well… Yes, but it wasn’t as if I was a good son.”

“You were a son. That should have been enough for them.”

Additionally, her own complex relationship with Leandra allows her to identify the abusive behaviors of his parents and the manipulative actions of Elthina later. This pattern of confrontation and disagreement between them continues until Act 3, and along the while, Sebastian’s dissatisfaction with the role of the Chantry wedges him farther away from his possible recommitment. By the end, he is able to recognize that he has worth as a human being regardless of whatever choice he makes and that he doesn’t have to sacrifice his life as Andraste did in order to be considered deserving.

It’s at that point that he solidifies his choice to retake Starkhaven, with the hopes of bringing Helena along if she’ll have him, and sticks it to his past controllers and manipulators by doing what he knows he can do better than anyone.

In terms of his self-image, I think Sebastian simply deserves to know he has worth regardless of whether or not he is the epitome of good service and faith. I want him to be able to be “selfish” and acknowledge his wants as not things that are impure and lower his value, but a part of what makes him a human being, and one that makes him a good one too. Because of his wants and desires, he retakes Starkhaven, which is ultimately the best choice for the people there because his contender for the throne doesn’t know the first thing about ruling a city-state. Sebastian, at his best, will acknowledge his desires with temperance and balance, such that is accomplished by his faith. When all is said and done, Sebastian will only be complete when he can find faith and life through his embrace of self.

#wow im so sexy for this #thank you for askin gabi T_T ily #asks #gayvhenan #sebastian vael #my meta #neglect cw #abuse cw #da2 #dragon age 2 #ship: wings sprout from broken backs

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