scott pilgrim takes off a solid 3/10 from me i'd say just read the comic atp

Greek Class Playing Among Us

I recently played amongus with my friends and there was a lot of chaos so, idk this is inspired by that LOL

When Imposter;

Henry is not a good imposter per se, because he always kills Bunny. Whenever Bunny dies first there's a 50% chance Henry is the imposter. (Also nobody knows but he does an evil little chuckle whenever he kills Bunny cuz he just knows bun is screaming and coping and seething). When both of them are imposters together, Bunny is always elated but they don't win many rounds together.... When Henry tries and plays seriously, which is rare, he's actually pretty good. He's always got alibis that can be checked out and he loves singling the crewmates out and then taking them out.

Bunny is, surprisingly, not half bad. Sometimes he makes it too obvious (he has his bad days, bad plays) when he's particularly mad at someone or if he beefs with someone in the game who happens to be crewmate, he'll go and kill them first thing after the round starts 😭 He's an impulsive player, and also, he sticks to Henry to have an 'alibi' but Henry always snitches on him when there's discrepancies :( Also, if its proximity chat, the others always kinda know if Bunny is closeby because he's never quiet. If its like a discord call he has to be kicked out of VC cuz he wont leave the chat if he's killed or ejected

Richard usually tries to do those elaborate 9000 IQ gameplays, so he works closely with the other imposter and does less of the killing and more of the separating/luring crewmates away and creating confusion. When Henry is the other imposter it goes really smoothly.

Camilla never kills Charles, and vice versa, and even if one of them is the imposter and the other is a crewmate, they stick together and the crewmate wont snitch on the killer even if they saw them kill 😭 Of course they don't always do that cuz the play would be too predictable (and there are days where they dont like each other bcs of sibling things), but Camilla is a more casual, less revenge focused player.

Francis is the WORST imposter. His kills are always so frenzied that usually he gets caught in the act, most often after just the first or second kill 😭😭 Also he panic vents and its happened where he accidentally popped out of the vent in front of Bunny. ("HE VENTED HE VENTED" but nobody belueved Buny (they knew it was francis but they didnt wanna end game just yet) and then bunny died :( ) . More often than not everyone just lets francis play out the imposter round even tho they know hes the killer LMFAO. Francis also doesnt make a good partner for impostering because he keeps messing with the reactor and lights and closes doors haphazardly (locks his own teammate in vulnerable positions).

When Crewmate;

Henry is a good crewmate. He doesn't particularly care about solving the mystery, he just wants his tasks done. He despises when others (coughBunnycough) just stand around and talk and waste time. He's the first one to complete all tasks. He does take longe than average to complete tasks because hes so fucking slow at it. Card swipe is his nightmare. Also, he's been sussed as imposter wrongfully bcs he took too long on some tasks in the start :(

Bunny is a dedicated crewmate but hes not so good for one main reason: he will do EVERYTHING but the tasks. He goes into his boy detective mode and tries to sus the imposters (Bunny is actually very good at sussing people correctly 😭😭 'imposters HATE him' head ahh) because he grills the suspects with questions and also he follows everyone around and keeps an eye on them (henry especially :( ) . Usually Bunny manages to correctly guess the imp and crewmates win if hes on their side, IF he isnt murdered by the imp beforehand

Richard usually accompanies Francis around. They run around doing their tasks together and also he likes watching the cameras when he's crewmate. Usually he evades being killed till the very last crewmate bcs he's kind of the 'unseen' member of the game 😭😭bro is lowkey unimportant (joking)

Camilla loves the asteroids task, and the med task. She finishes her tasks and then roams around on her own. Imagine everyone's screaming in reactor and running around and theres chaos and she'll be on the other side of the map chilling. Thats why shes sometimes wrongfully sussed because she's not at the scene of the crime when everyone else is there.

Charles is a helpful crewmate. He helps Bunny sometimes in cracking the case and also if Bunny dies by Henry's hand he is particularly adamant about SOMEONE avenging him and usually its charles LOL. Charles also calls meetings when necessary.

Francis likes being crewmate. It's less anxiety, he can just walk around and do stuff. His favorite task is also medbay and he feels safest in that area. But also, he's kind of useless because he never remembers colors or names so even if he was witness to smthn important he wont remember who did what (me core) so imposters usually take advantage of that

My interpretation of Toni and Shelbys relationship.

I am re-watching the wilds and I wanna talk about a few things I missed in my first viewing. 

Toni

Starting off in episode one, which I think a lot of us picked up on the gay vibe from both of them, was Tonis front with shelby at the beginning of the show. All talk, and takes no shit. But you can spot her flustered moment easily when Shelby puts her hands on her shoulders and when she begins to sing (while she pees yes lol) But you can just SEE IT on her face. This quickly subsides though as not long after Toni lets a tree branch fly back in her face.

The writers also try confuse you and make you think the reason why Toni  dislikes Shelby so much (at least untill episode 6 before the homophobia) is becuase of her possibly stealing her best friend away. Which of course played a part in it too.

The scenes of her looking at Martha and shelby was a common 0occurrence. You notice though, in most scenes how Martha is sort of out focus and in the backround while shelby takes up most of the shot. Indicating that shelby is the person Tonis gaze is fixed on.

I think the reason why Toni so strongly disliked Shelby in the beginning  is becuase she found herself attracted to her, which she obviously didnt like. With shelby having this happy go lucky optimistic front, and all the jesus talk really clashed with her pretty pesimistic personality. Not to mention how Toni thinks Shelby is extreamly privileged,which in a lot of aspects of her life she is. Considerably more after you find out Tonis backstory. So with that knowledge of her backround you could see why she would assume her life is better than hers. I mean she is a rich white girl from texas, so her assumption wasnt unreasonable. To Toni the idea of liking someone like Shelby is unexpected for her, so she does as much as possible to push her away. Explaining why she was pretty rude to her for the first half of the series. 

Along with Shelbys little “westburo baptist” moment Toni got pretty angry (rightly so) and this probably solidified the irationality of thease feelings she had for Shelby. Giving her even more of a reason to dislike her.

 Despite this Toni finds it in herself to try cheer her up when the two run into each other in the woods after Shelbys biggest insecurity is revealed by leahs theories. Tonis feelings for Shelby are on view a little bit here. Beforehand she barely could interact with her without expressing her dislike for Shelby.

 Though the mood shifts again after Shelby brings up the subject of her views on being gay.

Right up until shelby kisses her, Toni outwardly berates Shelby on how medieval her veiws are, and what a priveleged life she leads. She tells her on this island they are free, and Shelby takes this opportunity to show who she really is.

The kiss the two share as we all saw was in no way one sided, Toni does kiss her back. Obvioiusly this shocks Toni, as well as shelby herself. WIth shelby running off as she tries to escape what she just did with a girl who she thought hated her.

You immideatly see Toni run after her. Her feelings for this girl who Toni thought hated who she was where reciprocated. In this moment her whole attitude towards Shelby changes as she begins to understand why she is the way she is.

Shelby

Shelbys sexuality was pretty obvious to many of the LGBT viewers, we have all been there, obviously not the religious cult part, but putting up a front, hiding who we are. So it was easy to tell that she was gay from the beggining. Its also pretty common in the media to portray a closeted LGBT person like this. The question was how the writers where going to go about revealing the fact that she is gay.

You notice Shelbys attempts to be friendly towards Toni pretty early on with inviting her out to the first exhibition. Of course we all know it ends with her getting a branch to the face. But when questioned about the cut on her temple, she doesnt reveal that Toni was the one who caused it. 

Though as we all know as Shelby begins to become friends with Martha, Toni becomes increasingly more hostile towards her. Probably shattering the hopes of being friends. So we see less of Shelbys perspective of the relestionship between the two from her, and more from Toni. The two become pretty bitter with each other after the shelter building contest, the tension rising pretty quickly, although it seems that Toni is always the one who initiates the fights they have. Even after Toni destroys the hut and storms off, Shelby goes to find her and still tries to have a friendly conversation, possibly she went to comfort her, but of course we know from watching Toni interact with those around her she only initates in deep conversation with those she trusts, and the weird feelings she has for Shelby probably didnt help. 

Fast forward to episode six and Shelby has her little moment when the others are joking around with the shellfish. Of course this one isnt as subtle as previous scenes but it shows Shelbys internalized homophobia.The gestures Toni demonstrated made her uncomfortable becuase she knew thats who she was, the idea of being gay freaked her out, so she did the only thing to stop it. To lash out and reveal how she truely felt about herself. She proably never intended on revealing this, becuase really she doesnt hate the fact that Toni is gay. She hated the fact that she is gay herself. This probably shattered any hope of frienship with Toni after this incedent. (She also mentioned to martha afterwards that she knew it would happen, this revealation pushed everyone away from her considerably for the rest of the season)

When everyone begins to get sick, we see Shelby desperatly trying to prove to everyone and Toni that, she doesnt hate her. Ofcourse we knew by now that the two felt something for each other. In a way this was Shelbys feelings acting out. Her romantic feelings yes, but mostly guilt.Ignoring the others offers to let them give her the pill, instead she desperatly overcomes Tonis pride. Making her take the pill  forcably, so that she would stay alive.

Just before the two share their first kiss, shelby finally opens up about how miserable she finds her life. Toni as we know with a troubled backround claims that she cant “out sad” her. The only thing that Toni has that Shelby doesnt is freedom. Toni seeing the solution around them points out she is more free than ever and that moment you see the contemplation in her face, you can almost see whats going on in her mind just before she leans in and impulsively kisses Toni.

She then runs, obviously horrified with herself. The immeanse internalised homohpbia making her feel ashamed for following her heart.

I honestly loved watching this couple come together, their chemistry and writing was great and super intriuging to watch. I am glad a rewatched it again, there was a few things I missed out on in the first veiwing becuase i was too busy chanting “kiss! kiss! kiss!” everytime they appeared on screen together. This is completley my interpretation of their releationship and how the scenes are done, I honestly could be completley wrong and they are as they are shown to be on the surface. I just really enjoy delving deep into the motives and feelings of characters I enjoy watching. :)

*Edit* My apologies if this is written bad! At the time when I wrote this I was extremely tired. I hadn't slept the night before and I was just back from a full day of school.

𝙍𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 5.

this is my first ever smut and probably any writing in general so dont expect it to be the best loll.. hope you enjoy though :) !!!

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴!! : 𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘵, 𝘬𝘯𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺, 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺, 𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬, 𝘥𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘺 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬, 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬, 𝘱𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘤 𝘴𝘦𝘹?, 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘤𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨

ight so boom.

Mr. March continued staring at your pretty face, analyzing and tracing every single one of your soft unique features with his gaze, completely mesmerized and in hunger. You weren't in the mood due to some hotel customers ding dong ditching every door they'd lay their eyes on causing lots of complains. The feeling of annoynce started to rise within you causing you to attempt to snap him out of his dreamy fantasy. His room dark and quiet, the chat you were both having, was soon ready to turn into an avalanche.

"What the fuck, James. Stop staring at me." you snapped raising your voice slightly with confidence. His mesmerized stare quickly transformed into a deep frown, feeling absolutely disrespected. His goal was to intimidate you, to make you beg for forgiveness as he got up from his creaky antique sofa heading behind his work desk carefully leaning down opening one of the bottom drawers. Fully invested you follow his every move, eager to find out what's in his creative murder mind this time.

"Listen to me Y/N... Didn't we talk about disrespecting daddy? I thought we did. Didn't we?" James questions in pure elegance and lust, jingling the heavy handcuffs he had in hand. Your breath got caught in your throat, immediately regretting your previous outrageous comment, predicting what were to happen next giving the best to your ability to not make a single comment, facial expression, or nervious body language to prevent giving him any sort of satisfaction. Making James upset was one of your many favorite hobbies, knowing the effect it has on him and will most definitely have on you also, its like going on a never ending roller coaster, only that this roller coaster is full of teasing and is absolutely stunning. Silence filling the room with an unbreakable stare you both hold, you slowly press your legs together feeling your innocence get wetter by the minute. "Get up" demands James, scanning your every move as you get up from your seat and slowly walk towards him nervousness filling every single flesh in your body. "Yes, daddy?" You automatically innocently question, remembering how much he loved that word slip out of your lips.

The two of you now inches away from eachother, a small seductive smirk appearing on his delicate pink lips. Leaning down to your ear James sassed "You think you can go 5 rounds today, my dereast?" Unsure you responded to his rhetorical question "Of course I can why would you thi-" James smashes his lips onto yours, leaving you breathless. Carefully and discretely putting your hands behind your back as he handcuffs you. He chokes you, hard. Making sure he leaves marks for days, you squeeked in shock realizing that your hands had been handcuffed and your under James' harsh chokehold. March breaks the kiss only to pull your chin down slightly opening your mouth spitting on your tongue and going back to kiss you, tasting him in your mouth, your lips feel painfully numb from the harsh kisses you two shared, shifting slightly from his lips you feel a harsh stinging from James' harsh touch against your cheek, you groan in pleasure loving how aggressive he's gotten with you.

"Get on your knees, my pretty little slut" Still handcuffed you drop down to your knees almost immediately, soaking wet and ready for whats to come next.

"Listen to me, beautiful. You are not to make a single sound. Okay? If you do, I'll make sure I bring everyone from this entire hotel into this room and let them watch how I fuck you." You look up at him totally mesmerized by his masculine beauty ignoring his comment for a second, you pause a little just to admire the man who's soul you were about to suck. You open your mouth signaling James that you were ready for his hard member. He begins grinding his hips lightly against your tongue, you grew in desperate need as his clothed member brushed up and down your tongue. You've been doing a great job following James' intructions until a delightful deep groan slipped out of James, making you want to orgasm in that instant. He was aware of the effect that had on you so he proceeded his deep groans and began taking off his buttoned up shirt, revealing his sweaty toned chest and abs. You were driving crazy and attempted to unzip his pants with your teeth in which you failed miserably, "So needy.. hm?" James exhales, his cock still rubbing on your face completing your attempt for you allowing his member to spring up lightly tapping his stomach and back down to your forehead . You didnt think twice before slipping his tip into your mouth, teasing him lightly as a result from him teasing you beforehand.

"Oh fuck, Y/N.. You're doing so good." James praises. You now sucking him fully and uncontrollably, his deep lustfilled moans traveling through the dullness of his room. You groan slightly to his moans completely forgetting about his previous warnings, you feel him pull out of you and harshly pulling you up by your throat. Without a word leaving his lips he harshly throws you onto the bed and uncuffs you, searching for another pair of handcuffs as he aggressively handcuffs you again onto the antique bed frame this time that sat behind his bed. A smirk not leaving your lips as you teasingly exclaim "Come on, daddy. Let them watch how you fuck me." James seem to be distracted with something which you paid no mind to but immediately teleports your way and rips all of your clothes apart throwing every item of your clothing to their own direction, leaving you butt naked. Your wetness now leaking onto James' bed who doesn't stop staring at your innocence for a second.

"You're so wet for me already, gorgeous?" James teases as he swipes two fingers through your folds collecting your juices making you clench in pleasure. You watch him as he sucks your juices off of one of his fingers, leading his other one to your mouth allowing you to taste yourself as well. You sucked his finger dry, as he carefully watched you. "Mmm, I would like some more" You hear James groan as he leans down to your leaking innocence and shaky legs, slowly opening your thighs allowing him to have full access to whats been needing him the most. James licked your cunt once causing you to moan pathetically not caring about his previous demands. The pulling on your handcuffs and James' tongue ultimately exploring your sweet insides, driving you closer and closer to your high giving you a huge feeling of ecstasy sending shock waves through your entire body it was unbelievably astonishing.

"Knock, knock! I gathered everyone... Mr. march. We're ready for the meeting.." You hear a familiar feminine voice say in utter confusion as they hear your helpless moans from the other side of the hotel door. Your eyes opening wide in shock, knowing exactly what the psycho eating you out had just done. You feel him get up, you stare at the ceiling for a few seconds in pure embarrassment knowing what was to come as you see James unzipping his pants once more, sneaking his hands under your sweaty naked body to flip you over all in one swift motion. You were now faced down on the humid bed, your back arched in natural tradition. You look back to James slapping your ass.. hard. Causing you to close your eyes tight feeling the harsh sting as he kissed it afterwards. You later hear shifting sounds from behind, making you look back once again. You encounter James with a sharp classic knife in hand, pure lust in his eyes as you see his chest moving up and down aggressively. James had a knife play kink. He loved to see your body quiver in fear as he traced the blade down your body lightly cutting you at times, he admired licking your blood clean as you cry under his touch. He's James Patrick March, nothing too surprising coming from him.

"Are you ready for our guests, my pretty little thing?" Another rhetorical question drops from his lips. Your body aching in eagerness for James, you hear footsteps and whispers from behind you. You don't dare look in pure embarrassment. Closing your eyes tightly in discomfort you feel a familiar thick touch against your folds, making you softly whimper in need. James smashed himself into you not giving you any time to adjust to his size, rapidly thrusting and groaning against your powerless self, your orgasm soon approaching to the experience you were feeling. The crowd watching, James fucking you nonstop and pressing the blade up and down your back softly while you're handcuffed to the bed frame made the desirable experience surreal, making you cum. Your juices coating James' member as he pulls out to lick you clean and go back in. A few people from the crowd had left in disbelief and shock as a few others stayed to enjoy the show such as Mr. Wu and the pornstars, taking mental notes. James fucked you again and again, making you cum again and again until he was on his last round.

Round number 5.

Your body completely exhausted melting to James' aggressive penetration into your now sensitive warmth, made you beg for him to stop. Causing him to thrust a couple more times, before pulling out and nutting on your back. The warmth of his cum on your back giving you a feeling of relief. "Uncuff m-me.. plea- please.." you suggested barely even being able to speak. "Of course sweetheart, you should've asked before" he smiled at you innocently as if he wasn't going to punish you for if you asked such thing. He uncuffs you, wrists red and nearly bleeding, you collapse onto him and hug him tightly tearing from your exhaustion. James realizes you've begun getting vulnerable under him and asks everyone to leave.

"Bath?" James asked innocently, as if he didnt just made you cum 5 times all in one night.

"Yeah.. bath" you answer. Smile forming on James' soft cheeks, dimples appearing.

"Hey, can we not do that again?" you ask. James looks up from his blade which he had been fidgeting with to your face in confusion. "The everyone watching me thing." you specify. Causing a chuckle to fall from his lips. "You told me to, dear. Remember?" You then laugh, remembering that you in fact did tell him to, pushing him playfully which causes him to look up at you, serious expression on his face. You look at him also, breaking the eye contact quickly realising you've fucked up.

"Round 6?"

"Oh God, no James."

Trophy Chapter Eight

Masterlist

You become confused and start to question your feelings whilst Henry tries to be romantic but Stephan manages to fuck things up.

Warnings: Obsessive Behaviour, Implied Smut, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Torture, Dark themes, Yandere, Swearing, Daddy kink, Spanking threats, Angst?, Violence, Dark fluff(even I don't bloody know)

A/n: its quater past 11....I should be sleeping...my cat is littarily meowing at me to got to sleep but im not so here have chapter eight!!! so this chapter is mostly plot no smut unfortunately but the next one will be 1000٪. I have finally finally got the entire plot to this fic finished and written, I actually have some scenes for the next three chapters done to! But as I said mainly plot I intendedthis to be a little confusing from y/n perspective I want you to get a sense of what y/n is going through juggling her feelings and all that apart from that I really hope you enjoy this one xx

Taglist: @havenoffandoms​ @aphrodites-punch​ @charlieferret​ @thatgirly81​ @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @fitnees-motivation-2020​ @viking-raider​ @iloveyouyen​ @black-ninja-blade​

Gif not mine but the divider is xxx

Stephan was at a loss, sitting in the cheap b and b room he rented, papers strewn across the floral bed spread he had been going through his contacts agents. Friends. Investigative journalists. Anyone and everyone he could think of hoping someone somewhere would give him a break, a lead something anything! A way for him to distract Henry enough so he could slip you away from him. Fuck sake at this point he'd pull him in for a fucking parking violation just to get this barstard alone in a room for five minutes!! But no one was willing to help they were all in until the name Cavill was mentioned. He couldnt really blame them Cavill did two things to people who investigated him ruined them or off'd them.

Just last week another agent who'd been working undercover as one of the handlers of his prostitutes was found by the bay death by necklacing. A grusome death something he hadn't seen used in America before, usually it was a shooting or stabbing, necklacing was a brutal ,loud and mostly used in places like Africa and Brazil. Execution and torture all in one. It may be one of the cruelest ways to kill someone but it was in all honesty simple to do, hell anyone could do it which is why they couldn't pin it on Henry specifically, hands bound to your chest; in this case with wire and a tire full of petrol placed over you holding them still trapping them, doused in more petrol and set alight. Its a slow agonizing death that takes around twenty minutes, her screams would have been loud but no one in the area had heard or see a thing he bet they had and were just to frightened. He couldn't blame them he saw the girl before she'd been taken off to autopsy, agents; professional, trained to deal with anything agents,onscene were being physically sick from the sight and smell unused to this type of violence. The poor agent had suffered even before that. Autopsy showed she had been raped beforehand she was described as cut and torn up in the report, but they must have used condoms of some description as there wasn't any dna evidence. Or if there was it had been burned away like her charred skin, her body had been in such a bad way that there was nothing to go on. Without evidence they can't charge or formally question a suspect.

Safe to say everyone was shaken up, some left completley requested reassignment and all the ones who came before him were either dead of terrified of the man. Not only that word of Stephans fuck up had got out and he was now a laughing stock. Stephan was supposed to be a honey trap, go undercover seduce a woman of intrest to do one of two things one, prob for information, if she had some great! Stay and use it and If she didnt dump her move on to the next job simple Or two, find a woman to maintain a close connection to the target in this case that was you. It was believed that there was a connection between you and Cavill.

The mobster out of the blue was trying to buy a block of flats in a shitty area. Now Cavill owned property,  lots of property but never flats and never on that type of estate. He owned fancy restaurants and night clubs stupidly high class bars that had dress codes and the residential properties were allways four beroom three bathroom houses worth millions with fucking suanas and shit. Bottom line it was out of character and the man was trying to rush through the sale. The higher ups had hoped with the way he was acting; so out of character and flustered, that he would fuck up. He a mobster kingpin with litteraly billions to his name was trying to buy a building that was falling apart, in a run down poor area, wasn't for sale and was willing to skip negotiations and overpay... 

The only possible connection to it all was you. They knew Fletcher had dealings with Henry and knew Henry used the cafe for his smaller business meetings. That was the most infuriating thing they knew so much but they just couldn't prove it!. So Stephan was called in to see if you was privvy to Henry and his empire and if you was willing to be an informant. Simple. Until it wasn't and feelings got involved. He wasn't supposed to fall for you but he had and that had cost him the assignment. He was supposed to drop it but he wont, so he had to sniff around himself he knew Henry kidnapped you, he knew Fletcher set it up and he knew he was going to save you. With that in mind he decided to do something he never even dreamed. Stephan was going to go rouge.

Henry was content albeit impatient,  he waited at the bottom of the stairs waited for you his wonderful little princess. He had arranged a night out in one of his top restaurants, he figured now that you were here willingly he could begin to spoil you, lavish you with the luxury you deserved and you had been good these past days you deserved a treat. Tonight was about showing you just what it means to be his, the respect, the glitz and glamour. He was hoping that he could begin to sway you more, he knew you were questioning youself and him, his intentions and as you were questioning he saw a change you were more compliant. He paced slowly his head of security Luke was there beside him stiff as a board, Luke thought it was a mistake flaunting you around so early. But Luke could go fuck himself, Luke was not in charge and Luke should keep his opinions to himself.

Henry was begining to get tired of the mans bitching it was clear that his head of security had something against his sweet pet. It may have been the fact that Henry; seeing the bruises on your wrists after your escape that was definitely not made from handcuffs, had investigated and watched the security footage seeing the way the gruff man had manhandled you dragged you through the house after taunting you, thrown you into your day room on the day you'd escaped. Yes Henry ha found out and promised the man a grizzley end if it ever happened again. The only man to leave marks on your soft skin was him. Luke was bitter over the fact you'd escaped further then the garden on his watch, well thats what Henry put it down to.

"If you sigh again I will stop you breathing altogether!" He finally snapped over his shoulder to the man. 

"Sorry sir I just think-" Henry spun on his heel pointing at him.

"I dont pay you to think! I pay you to do as your fucking told! To protect our investments and you didnt! Incase you haven't noticed your on thin ice as it is, theres a line of others who would take your place in a heartbeat Luke so I suggest you start pulling your shit together unless you want an early retirement." The words were hissed a snarl he couldn't help the thrill that came from Luke's shocked fearfull look. Luke knew poeple didnt retire from his position, not the in the masive pay out and a sipping pinacolada on a sandy beach sense. The only retirement he would see is two foot wide and six foot deep if he was lucky. Henry watched steely eyes burning into the man before him, the guard finally looked away gulping nodding slowly.

"Y-yes sir..I will go make sure the car is ready" Henry smirked crossing his arms 

"You do that! Be the most usefull thing you've done all day." Luke cringed at that but could say nothing he simply left the house out towards the drive shuting the door with a quiet click. Henry shook his head as he watched Luke descend the few step of the porch. He was going to have to do something about him soon.

He pulled his thoughts away from the dark path they had traveled and glanced at the stairs again then began his pacing from side to side once again looking at his the rolex upon his wrist. You were taking your time. Sighing he turned again looking expectantly at the stairs. Its not like you had to decide what to wear he had laid it out! He had done the hard bit all you had to do was hair and make up. He grunted making another lap of his choosen pace route. You better not be up there pouting, if you were he was going to be very annoyed. Five more minutes. He decided five minutes then he would go check and if you was being a little madam and pouting he would blister you ass with the belt at his waist and drag you out anyway dressed or not. He moved finally standing at the stairs hand gripping the banister in a white knuckle grip hissing through his teeth. 

Then he heard it heels tapping on the marble floor slow and unsteady, you were coming. He held his breath waiting for you to turn the corner at the top of the landing. When you did he had to swallow dryly, you were a vision, stunning you were made to be on his arm there was no doubt about it. You made your way down the stairs trying not to topple over in the high heels, which you suspected he had put you in so you couldnt run. Well you could try but you have to unbuckle them first which would be a dead give away. 

You'll admit the dress was beautiful and comfortable considering how figure hugging it was. A deep royal blue velvet ,thin spaghetti straps and a low open back stopping just at the swell of your bottom, the front had a soft swooping neckline showing a hint of the very top of your breasts. It was a fine choice, henry definitely had an eye for these things. Every outfit he put you in since being here was always well thought out and this was no exception. You had to be careful tonight, he had provided a dress, stockings garterbelt even jewellery and some new lipsticks! but no panties. It made you nervous, it was one thing to always be around the house in skirts with no undies but to go out? You had to be wary, the small mercy was that it was a knee length dress so hopefully no accidents. However that being said with how form fitting it was and the way it pushed up your boobs there was more chance of a nip slip then a lip slip.

There was a complete set of expensive looking Jewellery that each had been packed in blank leather jewellery boxes and was presented on purple velvet. The necklace was three long strings of diamonds one a choker then longer to your collar bone then the final resting just below your dress' neckline the middle string holding one single large diamond in the center, the weighty rock made you dread to think of the cost and matching small dangling earrings and a bracelet...And anklet he had insisted you to be head to toe in diamonds. 

For your hair you had styled it up and away from your face in a sleek sophisticated look,your make up was light, you didnt want to go all out and make him think you were trying to impress him, although in some respects you did want to impress him but for now you would ignor that. You had settled for a light face of make up and one of your new lipsticks a dark nude shade between a peach and beige the last thing you wanted was for him to get angry about not putting in effort which was a real possibility with how the slightest things could trigger a mood swing.

You'd found the past week since you had....Assisted him in the livingroom something had changed, a subtle change at first. You found youself stealing quick glances and smiles at him, he had caught you staring a few times and winked making you flush and stutter. He still had his moments but it seemed your 'admission' of not wanting to leave and wanting to try to stay and fall in love with him had calmed him down significantly. Sure you'd been given a few punishments when he got insecure here and there. You had been finding yourself participating in all of the intimate moments he was forcing onto you, when you did things with him you could barely speak let alone think the throws of passion was an escape. To your own confusion and shame you now admitted to yourself you enjoyed him lathering you with attention it was becoming to easy to melt into his embrace, to tempting to kiss the man back and cuddle up to him as he soothed the burning prints he left across your skin. You were frightened at just how much you began to crave him and need him, you still tried resisting but it was few and far between. In reality you were giving in to him and you didnt exactly hate the change. despite everything it sill felt a little wrong to let him get his way but that bad feeling was becoming easier to ignore.

But don't get things wrong, you had no desire to stay here permanently you had just resigned yourself to it for the time being...You think things i  your...Relationship were confusing at the moment you liked the man but hated how this had all come about. You tried reasoning that your feelings were changing in some sort of survival technique or something. That subconsciously you had to pacify him, make him believe you was slowly falling for him so he wouldn't hurt you or the ones you loved. But at this point you wasn't entirely sure. I mean if that were true and you did this all for Stephans life shouldnt you feel somthing for the agent. But in reality all you felt was abandoned and betrayed by him, but it didn't hurt not like the loos of a friend or lover as you thought it would have. Maybe you was just weird? or maybe you didn't really love him? What ever it was you was thankfull for it as you could concentrate more on yourself and what you had to do to get out of this alive, sane and single. You were not falling in love with this mad man no matter what he did and said you shouldnt fall for it you shouldnt fall for him. But you were slowly realising that just because  you shouldn't didn't mean you wouldn't.

Henry's face lit up as you slowly made your way down the steps on wobbly feet unused to the heels that brought the top of your head up to his eye line. Seeing you struggling he smirked meeting you half way up the stairs linking his arm with yours. You flinched almost pulling back knowing you should but his grip was firm and you needed help. His voice was low and playful when he spoke.

"It seems you will need my help with walking tonight before you've even touched a drop of wine my love. Thats no matter, more of a reason for you to cling to me and I do enjoy you wrapped around me pet." You gave a quick glance, so you was in these ridiculous heels for a reason. You forced a smile letting go of the banister as he walked you down the stairs over to the door.

"You look stunning! I have the best table in the place reserved just for us but first" he moved spinning around you and just like a magic trick his hand appeared from behind him with a small ring box, he moved pulling up your left hand kissing the back of it. You shivered as he maintained eye contact feeling him smirk. You cursed yourself wanting to contorl your reactions but couldnt seem to. He spoke a cheeky grin his voice was playfull. 

"Here something to complete the outfit I wont have my little girls hands bare~" You gulped as he pulled back the lid of the small box revealing an obnoxiously huge rock sat embedded in what looked like a silver but was most likely white gold band. You tugged at your hand and winced when he dug his thumb in your palm tugging your hand out hashly.

"Daddy! That's to much-I'm not one for rings please everything else is enough. " He blinked his face dropping.

"You don't like it? Whats wrong with it?" You eyed him carefully and shrugged.

"No-nothing I just..." he interrupted you growling at you scowling

"You don't want it? I had it made for you and now you don't even fucking want it? I just wanted to treat you baby? You've been so good and now your going to start acting up? When I'm trying to reward you for being so good. Just trying to have a quiet night out with you, I dont have to take you out, I could fucking keep you here day in day out" You could hear it, that of hectic insanity. Frantic undertones. You quickly shook your head.

"No no I want it! I do want it I'm just worried...It looks...Ive never had anything that looks that expensive" you moved forward to him placing a hand on his chest rubbing slightly, youd learned fast that initiating intimate gestures help calm him a little.

"I-i'm frightened that I'd upset you if I loose it especially if we dance..We are going to have our first slowdance tonight aren't we? I was hopeing we could..Tho people will laugh I've never danced like that before." It did the trick he calmed blinking slowly then beamed at you.

"Oh little one thats sweet of you to worry about daddys feelings like that..But baby I wont be upset if you lost it Id just get you another one pet... Now come here and keep still like a good girl" you sighed in relief as he calmed down you cringed and twisted your hand as he tried to place it on your ring finger, his eyes flicked up to you in warning.

"Its...thats bad luck I'd rather not.." he grunted and took your right hand placing it on your ring finger. You shuddered as you realised it fit perfectly. He moved back placing one parting kiss.

"That is your first warning tonight, daddy doesn't want any games...You ruin tonight and I will be very displeased and you will not like the outcome" you nodded takig a breath.

"Y-yes daddy I understand...I'll be good" he gave a quick look.

"You better now lets go" you released a breath tho calmer he wasn't happy youd argued, disagreed you wasnt supposed to do that.

Henry playing the part of a gentleman opened the door to the car for you. Once inside he set off out of the gate, you shivered a little trying not to glance at him. He moved his hand to your leg patting it softly rubbing the soft nylon of the stockings he groaned subtly to himself as he continued down the road, you cringed a little moving to pull the hem of the dress down not wanting him to take advantage of the rising skirt and your bare pussy merely inches above. He squeezed lightly feeling you tug the fabric down under his palm cutting off the contact. He rolled his eyes biting his lip to stop the comments on the tip of his tongue. No he wont ruin this night before its begun, anything that happens he can rectify later when you were restrained and withering one your final treat. He licked his lips as he thought about the nights festivities and hopefully what the outcome will be. He was pulled from his devious thoughts when you wriggled uncomfortably still trying to get used to wearing half a set of underwear... And lets face it stockings and garter belts aren't exactly the norm any way. It was after ten minutes of sighing, huffing and squirming that he spoke pulling you out of your thoughts.

"Whats the matter little one?" you snapped you head to him and smiled going to brush him off he removed his hand from your leg wagging a finger.

"Ah ah come on no lying that will be your second warning and we aren't even there yet~" you closed your mouth giving him a heavy pout he rose an eyebrow letting his hand land back in your lap.

"Its...Well I've never...I'm getting used to the stockings...Never worn them before and its strange under the dress...especially not having any panties on....I'm covered but not " he through his head back and laughed as he pulled up to a red light.

"Oh love! you should have said baby...I thought you were having a paddy! I was getting ready to take you back home and tann your naughty backside with my belt." you snapped your head in his direction gulping knowing full well he would have.

"Oh little one don't be so tense..I promise tonight I'm going to spoil you this is a treat baby girl a night of fine food,  fine wine and even finer company" you smiled forgetting your underwear situation for a moment twiddling your new bracelet wanting to take your mind off things. You were going to try and enjoy the night try and forget everything just for one night. You smiled up at him shyly.

"I'm looking forward to it..But I get the feeling your taking me somwhere fancy and I've neve done fancy... think the fanciest place I've been is your house"he chuckled looking forward to the road cheking the lights then moved to face you.

"Our...Its our house pet you live there to now remember.. and don't worry I own the place so no one will say anything if you make a little slip up...Okay little one and if anyone does upset you ,you tell me straight away..I wont have my babygirls night ruined by anyone" you didn't want his words to effect you but they did, the idea of him caring enough to make sure you enjoy the night was sweet.

"Y-you mean it?" he nodded giving the lights another quick glance then focused back on you

"Of course! tonight is all about spoiling my number one! you can have anything you want and that includes a doggy bag of deserts to bring home" you smiled at him hopefully giggling.

"Deserts sound good! I'm excited now do they have cheesecake?" he pursed his lips thinking for a second wanting to prolong your cheerful mood.

"Yes, three kinds and I assume you'll be having a slice of each?" you nodded at him with a cheeky grin, Henry smirked at you leaning in playfully tucking his hand by your knee tickling the back making you giggle and squirm pushing at him. 

"Well my love three slices..Now that is a big ask and deserves a pre-payment I think...Three kisses should suffice" you grinned shaking your head at him and squealed as he leaned over playfully growling stealing three sweet kisses then leaned back in his seat , he was gobsmacked when youd followed him placing a peck against his cheek. You froze realizing what you did and jumped back holding your lips in surprize. What the fuck was that? He smirked moving the car into drive as the light changed. You righted yourself in the seat leaning back choosing to forget that little slip up. But still felt optimistic maybe tonight would be a fun night out even if it was with Henry.

YES! it had paid off, a few days he had spent watching waiting but finally there was movement. he had been waiting here at the main road leading to the mobsters house. Parked next to a motel mainly used by truckers who stayed overnight, Stephan quickly climbed to the front seat of the car watching as the Aston martin drove past him, not just any Aston martin Henry's Aston martin, the only custom db11 in the city. He quickly pulled his binoculars out to see...Fuck yes!...He couldn't believe his luck! you were in the passenger seat and dolled up... He took a breath you looked incredible and to his utter despair and confusion you looked happy?.

Henry stopped at the intersection Stephan fumed as Henry laughed at something you said then moved his hand out of sight making you roll your eyes and press him away playfully laughing he didn't pull back instead he quickly leaned over kissing you, and the thing that cut Stephan most was that you let him, you seemed to enjoy his attention. Stephan's heart clenched seeing you like that, you were supposed to hate him...You were a captive. You couldn't possibly like the man could you?. He shook his head of course you didn't a mad man like henry? you were playing a part, hopefully a part that you could retire from tonight. He flicked on the ignition throwing down his binoculars if he could follow you both...If he could get in he had a chance, could give you a chance to escape! he could save you.

He took a second watching again as you moved you were smiling giving him a quick peck, he couldn't bare to watch anymore he closed his eyes gripping the steering wheel tight swearing. Could he be to late? He loathed to think of just what he had put in your head what he could have convinced you to do. The light turned green and car pulled away, he waited a few seconds then pulled out making sure not to be to close or be caught by the lights. It only took the disgraced agent around fifteen minuets to realize where you were being taken. It would seem Henry was taking you on a date? trying to romance you, wine and dine you but then what? there had to be a reason, and ulterior motive. Stephan held back watching as the Aston martin pulled around the front of the hotel, Henry exited the car and walked around holding your door for you. He felt a rush of anger as Henry helped you out of the car then tossed the keys across the car to the valet. Stephan stared gulping, you really did look amazing even if you were struggling to stand in shoes he knew you wouldn't have been caught dead in if you had a say. He must have forced you in to them, so he could have you wrapped around him, leaning and clutching at him as you wobbled about unsteady. His blood boiled as Henry moved offering you his arm when you took it he felt..betrayed almost asking himself if you were worth it now, it looked like Henry had got to you. He seethed watching you climb the few stairs to the hotel entrance linking arms with your captor ,you looked up at the mad man smiling nodding as he spoke completely at ease.

Something was very wrong with this image, a kidnapped woman going out on the town with her kidnapper? on what looked like a romantic date?. You hadn't seemed like one of those shallow golddiggers who'd do anything for a bit of bling or money, but Stephan couldn't help but wonder to himself at that point. You looked happy if not a little nervous? shy? you looked like a love struck teenager. But Stephan couldn't help himself he couldn't doubt you, you needed him to get you out, to save you. You needed him to try. He moved pulling the car around the back, thankfully as this was a hotel people were coming and going all the time so it'd be easy enough to get in, he was coming for you. Tonight he will save you and it will look like nothing more then a lovers spat! a perfectly realistic situation that would have no repercusions. Once he had you, you could testify against the mobster and this would all be over. Henry would finally be behind bars where he belongs.

You took a breath seeing the long line of people waiting to get in the restaurant each in expensive looking glad rags,you tucked your head down akwardly as Henry strode past the long line of people each making a fuss at the two of you. Some did not knowing just who the man on your arm was. Henry cut to the front interrupting the guest at the front.

"Is everthing ready?" His voice was bored as a woman quickly scampered over ready to let the owner in much to the anger of the other guest. The two at the front tried capturing his attention to give him a piece of their mind but Henry ignored them.

It wasn't long before you were in the high end restaurant in one of the towns two five star hotels that he owned. It was nice the restaurant was about fifteen stories up a dark blue almost black marble looking floor,  tables all coverd with pure white table clothes that felt like some stupid 800 thread count material ,high back black leather chairs ,single white roses and candles on each table dotted around. The focal point was a huge wall with intergrated tropical fishtank that seperated the regular tables and vip area which was raised slightly. The set up was split in two, one half all centred around useing the veiw courtesy of the floor to ceiling windows looking over the town the other half had the fish tank to look at..It was clever really the fishtank gave you a faux sense of privacy a perfect divider that let light flow to the other half of the seating area.

Henry walked you straight past the fish tank to a high private table in the corner of the vip area a huge bouquet of roses sat on the table. 

"For you babygirl" you couldn't help but smile brightly as he slid them to you. You leaned in smelling the roses slowly running your finger across the curve of the soft petals your heart warmed and for a moment you truley felt... Special? Cherished?.

You cast a sweeping gaze across the seating area admiring it whilst empty knowing it wont be for long, it was the most expensive place you'd ever been to eat. As you looked around you noticed that the other geusts were slowly trickling in being seated by smartly dressed servers. You looked slower taking in the decor more carfully. Henry wasnt lying when he said the table was the best in the place  it had a uninterrupted veiw of the city and the restaurant.

"You like it?" You nodded looking around the decor was black and gold giving a art decor gatsby vibe. He moved pulling out your chair letting sit then sat himself across from you smileing as you pulled the roses across the table placing then on the corner out of the way blushing. 

"Yes I was right it is a fancy place...A little daunting but exciting...And I can't wait for my cheesecake its my favourit and I haven't had it in sooo long!"

"Any thing for you my little one...But only good little girls who eat all their dinner get a desert you know that...ah ah no pouting!"

"But tonight's supposed to be a treat daddy" he gave you a stern look across the table at your pouting 

"Yes and if your a good girl and ask nicely we would eat out like this everyday, but you were naughty to begin with and daddy has to be strict and have lots of rules...And one of those rules is no desert before dinner now enough pouting don't be ungrateful" you blushed stupidly enough you agreed with him in a way you'd come to enjoy some of his rules, they made you feel...accomplished in a way youd never experienced before, you had something to work to and when you did as he asked he praised you which always made a warmth in your chest blossom. You tucked your nose in a rose you'd plucked from your bouquet grinning softly.

"Im sorry Daddy...Thank you for the roses they are very beautiful" he smiled holding his arms out in a exasperated gesture tilting his head for emphasis

"Well at least you will accept flowers with out a fuss little one...Thats one thing I can now be sure of" You looked down still feeling scolded even if his tone was light you cursed the feeling in your chest. Like rocks had been stuffed in your ribcage making your chest heavy, he was obviously still bitter about the ring you could tellfrom how pissy he was being. You fidgeted worrying just what that would mean for you during the night.

Almost immediately after you sat down you were served a sweet smelling dark wine by a fairly handsome man who popped the cork with ease handing it to Henry whilst giving you a nervous smile you smiled back to him unaware of Henry's face turning sour he nodded and gave the young man a gruff grunt to proceed, the wine was acceptable apparently you watched as the server moved pouring you out a half glass with shaking hands well aware of Henry who was glaring daggers at him ,you smiled to thanking him. Henry must have taken it wrong as he snarled a 'fuck off' at the man who quickly placed the bottle on the table and practically ran out of sight.

"Hen- da I...what was?...I was just being polite please can we just enjoy ourselves...Please." he sat back regarding you one elbow on the arm of his chair twiddling his fingers, his gaze was unerving. He paid no mind to a waitress placing a bottle of bourbon and a glass finally he clicked his tongue smirking enjoying makeing you squirm. He smiled quickly leaning over pouring his own drink casually.

"I'd be carefull pet, you've got one warning left tonight it'd be a shame to have to reprimand you here and trust me daddy has no qualms of upending you on this table and giving you a sound thrashing" you jolted opening your mouth unable to find any words you settled on nodding quietly sipping at you drink meekly he rolled his fingers in a smooth motion until it was a loose fist.

"Answer me pet you know I hate you ignoring me unless you want to be made an example of here? want everyone to see your cute little bottom turned pink over daddy's lap as you kick and squirm like a naughty little girl" you squinted your eyes cheeks tniging pink at his words, deciding it was best not to test him you quickly slapped the drink down a few drops jumped from the glass staining the crisp white table cloth. You froze watching the dark liquid seep across the fibers.

"I-I'm sor-ry please I didn't mean-" you panicked and began begging looked up and could have cried for some reason he was keeping you on edge tonight more so than usual. He was smiling playfully into the rim of his glass, he had been toying with you...had he? you had hoped you knew his mind games but he was in an unpredictable mood tonight.

He moved slowly plucking the menu curling a finger calling a waitress over and ordered for the both of you. You sat twiddling your fingers unsure of what to do, he had seemed happy in the car but in here...It was like he wanted to keep you on a short leash, make you understand although you were out having a treat you were not free to do as you pleased. You settled on people watching moving to get a view of the other couples, they smiled and curled around one another so happy in love. Free.

You looked down blinking away tears, was this worse? Being out and seeing what you'd never have? In the house you could ignore it but here watching them be so genuine. No matter how much you fell at this mans feet you'd never have that freedom to feel, to be so careless in your love. You'd always be controlled be pressed into what ever made him happy...

Your purpose was to make this beautiful monster happy. But you'd agreed, was it wrong to let yourself go under? To fully succumb to his dominance and try to enjoy him. To find comfort in him and accept him as the beautiful yet cruel man he was?you would have to eventually so why wait? It'd save you heat ache in the end. And as the days blurred into weeks and months you knew that it would be easy. He was vindictive and spite full. He was ruthless and cunning yet to you he was almost kind, it would be easier if you swallowed your pride and let yourself fall for him. Life would be easier and you was slowly accepting that it was the obvious choice, you moved casting a glance at the couples around you. Could that be you? Could you have that happiness in the end with him? the frightening thig was. Yes. you could already feel that your feelings were changing slowly but surely, were you in love with him? no did you care for him? Yes.

You hadn't realised he moved until he had made his way arohnd the table holding ut a hand palm up below your down turned face. You jumped snapping your head up confused he furrowed his brows slightly pressing a hand to your cheek wiping away a few stray tears.

"Dont cry pet...Not here no one should see your tears but me, no one should put them there but me. Here come on take my hand" you quickly moved wiping them away once your face was free of tears he grasped your hand. Pulling you up slowly, you followed docile as he pulled you towards a large dancefloor at the back of you space just behinde the bar. You saw there were a few couples were already slow dancing you tensed.

He spun round to face you as the song changed to one you recognized, No peace by Sam Smith played loud yet soft through the speakers it was one of our favourite's but this time the words had a much deeper meaning. He held your back his palm hot against the bare skin he stepped forward pulling your hand up near his shoulder you held him softly. Swaying slowly you'r eyes darted around eyes were on you from those who knew Henry, guests and staff alike.

"Look at me...Forget them little one they are just curious its rare for them to see such elegance up close, and I must say you look divine...More of a little lady then a little girl" you flushed at the compliment trying to follow his skilled movements as he placed his feet expertly without a thought to it as he spun you around in smooth steps across the floor, you swore looking at your feet as you stepped wrong capturing his toes. He chuckled and lifted you effortlessly off his foot  an inch or so and placed you back to the floor

"Sorry..I don't mean to..I've never danced like this before...Not very good on a normal dance floor and I'm ten times worse at this, these heels aren't helping...I must look like fucking bambi on ice" he chuckled smoothing his thumb across the skin of your back. Enjoying the backless dress pressing his hands into you feeling your shivers the ripples across your back as he smothered you in his huge frame, letting you feel small in his embrace. He quickly and subtly lifted you up once again as you nearly stood on him again.

"Bambi is a very fitting name I may steal that one" you gave a shy smile smirked spinning you aubruptly then pulled you back skillfully tugging you a little closer. He tilted his head down talking in a hushed baritone voice. 

"Your doing fine...Just let daddy lead, daddy will look after you I promise" you gulped and nodded he spun you again this time making sure your bodys touched, slipping his feet between yours using them to move yours guiding your steps.

He settled you to him as he moved prompting you to lay your head on his shoulder he spun you both slowly bringing you near the center of the floor to make sue no one bumped into you. You sighed humming along quietly whispering the lyrics suddenly there was a lump in your throat you swallowed hard pressing your head into his neck. It looked intimate. It was intimate. You listened as he picked up where you left off humming he lyrice into your ear low and relaxing. You whined moving your hands holding him around the neck breathing a shaky breath into his neck. He moved pressing a sweet kiss to your head song changed and you was thankful, pulling your head up to see his eyes staring at you there was a fondness he gave a lopsided grin.

"Are you okay my love? Your very tearful tonight." You blinked shaking your head at him.

"I'm..C-Can I speak truthfully....without?.." he tensed as you trailed off, you wanted to speak freely without consequences. He mulled over the idea unsure if he should shoot you down, he decided against it if he halted you now you may never be honest with him again. He nodded to you giving you his undivided attention as he slowdance with you in the crowd. You took a deep breath unsure if it was the right time to have this conversation. He had given you permision but you will still be careful with your words.

"I'm confused... You confuse me Henry...Being here like this I..."You looked to the other couples wistfully then back to him.

"I want that...I want that love that freedom and...And I...We feel like a couple ,like we could be a normal couple like them ,but you frighten me, the things you say and do and I...I'm unsure of whats right and wrong now...Normal couples don't do what we do they dont threaten spanking's on dates!" he hummed in response mulling over your words for a few breaths, could everythinghave been his fault? You didnt understand the type of relationship he had with you therefor you dont know what he wants from you or what to expect, is that confusion why you were fighting so hard?

"I'd hoped you were finally accepting things now. I'm glad you were honest with me about being confused love and I'm proud of you. We feel like a couple because we are.... But normal? No we are not we are a bdsm couple, we live a bdsm lifestyle which suits both of us. Your mine and I am yours we are soulmates. You are just finally catching up to that and soon we will feel like this all the time, this happiness this relaxed and playful. I know its all still quite new now but soon you will be used to me being your lover, your daddy, your dominant ,your one and only and in time I will be your husband and father to your children. We will be like this for the rest of our lives. I apologize that I'm only just explaining this now and I can see why you were so reluctant and scared going form a normal vanilla and quite innocent relationship to being in this...very strict and quite demanding, sexually fueled one can be daunting. I was just so caught up wishing you would ajust quicker but matters of the heart can't be rushed and now I see that is what I was trying to do. I am content for now. Soon this will be normal, the jewellery the luxury anything you desire will be yours when you finally admit to loveing me back, when you succumb to your true feelings." He moved looking to the others around you then back to you smiling.

"You will be just as happy as them..If not more you will be the most treasured and spoilt woman in the city, the world even I promise and when that day comes you will make me the happiest man on the planet" he moved solidifying his statment with a kiss, a promise he words sounded like vows in itself. You sighed and pulled back he took a deep breath as you did.

"I'm trying I...Its a lot to take in and I'm glad I spoke to you...I think I understand a little more now...Your You dont mean to frighten me you just...Get excited? okay I can live with that...I've never been in love before its frightening" he smiled twisting you around pulling your back to his front holding you close placing a kiss to your shoulder.

"I know you are trying love, what do you think this is tonight? This is your reward for your week of good behaviour. I am patient I will wait for you neither of us are going anywhere. And in the end everything will be worth it you'll see" 

You stood stock still freezing as you looked out into the now full restaurant.You spoke as you cast your eyes to the male in the crowd. He was glaring at you making your chest go cold.No. What did he see? What will he think? You dropped you hands from henry's arms your breath was a whisper.

"Stephan?" Henry brought his head up abruptly going rigid he hands wrapping around your waist tighter almost painfull as if you was going to run to the other male. He looked around growling low and dangerous searching for him finally he honed in on him. Was hair dye all someone needed to bypass his men? He seethed as you trembled in his arms he held his breath. Moving closer to your ear.

"You want him? you want to run to him? Do you? You can I will let you but he will be dead before you touch him!" His words were a hot hiss in  your ear.

"No...I-I want him gone" the words were out befor you could catch them he hissed in your ear.

"Y-You what?" he turned you abruptly trying to sniff out a lie but you just held his gaze firm he swallowed his mouth going dry he covered his shock well then glared

"We will see...Come lets go see our dear Stephan shall we?" You tried struggled to keep up but he continued storming across the floor toward him. Henry half dragged half marched you through the dancing couples as you staggered in the stupid fucking shoes!. He turned to you slowly as you gained on Stephan who either bravely or stupidly stood his ground. Your heart beat faster tho you was unsure why you were worried but for who you couldn't say.

"Just remember our arrangement and he will leave here alive" you took a deep breath humming in response before hissing out an answer.

"I'm not leaving Henry" After what felt like an eternity to stood face to face with him, the one you could have seen yourself with on the arm of the man you were forced to be with.

"Y/n..." you looked to him blinking slowly 

"Leave" you had to do it, to send him away Henry would hurt him. You wasn't sure if you were just saying that or not, maybe you wanted to stay with Henry. But that was a thought for another day.You swallowed standing tall looking straight at him, you will not have this mans blood on your hands and you will not be used by him again you had enough sorting out your own shit and trying to figure out Henry at this point Stephan could go fuck himself you will forget him. 

Stephan, Fletcher and Henry all three were the cause of this. It was a mans game and youd somehow become a pawn for all three. You had to choose a side.

"Yes I think you should leave, this is reservation only I'm afraid." Henrys words had a bite to them anyone watching would assume Henry was just dealing with a gate crasher, no one other then the three of you would know how truley volatile the situation was.

"You? No..y/n I'm here for you! To take you back! Please I'm sorry give me one last chance? I love you baby I can't live with out you please?" You froze everything stopped what was he doing? What the fuck was he doing? Making a scene people watched as Stephan made a wild plea for you to take him back. He made a perfect storm, a brilliant and well thought out display.

Henry tensed holding you. You could feel it he wasn't prepared for this. Had Stephan just out witted the king himself in his own building. You held your breath unsure of what to do If he had was there a chance?. Could this be it? Your escape even if you didnt love stephan could you use this ruse to get away? To go into some form of witness protection?

"Ha! Honestly Stephan you think she hasn't heard?" You took a step back to Henry holding his wrist. No you wont take that chance not now. You have to settle, to just accept your lot with Henry for your own sanity. You had only moments ago realised where you stood and now had some understanding of what this was!. And if you was honest with your self you wasn't willing to trust Stephan he was to little to late.

"You've lost your job, your home everything! What could you possibly offer her? Safety? Please" you faltered at Henry's words were all but laughed out mocking. He lost his job? If so it wasn't safe you picked up on the hidden meaning to his words. You would not be safe. Stephan would not be safe. Not if you took this chance.

You placed a hand to Henry's chest and swallowed your throat closed up as tears sprang to your eyes. You looked stephan dead in the eye his face dropped. He knew. Before he could speak another word you gave your answer through trembling lips.

"I-I said leave! Your a liar! You played me I was a job Stephan and I will not be used again...Leave and don't ever come back. I-I'm with Henry now, we are happy and planning a future and I don't need you around trying to ruin what we have." You shuddered tears rolling down your face. Henry pulled you closer, you just hoped Stephan realized that you did this of our own accord, that henry was giving you a choice and the fact of the matter is you chose this beautiful dastardly man.You had to turn away from him tucking yourself into Henry's side.

"You heard the lady, she chose me now leave" 'while you can' those three words went without saying, hanging in the air. Stephan stood his ground trying to plead with you that he had somewhere to take you, somewhere safe but you just shook your head. 

"No! I dont want you! I dont need you! Im happy with how things are and I can't believe youxd do this after all this time?!" You were trying to get through that he was to late the damage was done and youd already made up your mind, your reasons were unclear even to you but he doesnt need to know that all he needed to know was that you were staying exactly where you were.

"But baby you don't understand I was trying-" you shook your head at him desperately wanting hi  to stop youd made your decision.

"Enough! Stephan...Ive moved on its to late now go! And dont ever look for me again!" You moved wanting those to be your final words. You turned your back on stephan and looked up to Henry and leaned in to him whispered below your breath.

"Make him leave, please daddy" Henry felt a warmth spread through him as you made the request. You wanted him to intervene to make this boy leave. He would definatly help, protect his babygirl. He acted quickly.

"Security! See to stephan here escort him out" you tore your head up watching as three men apprehended him dragging him through the space to the entrance whre he was destined after that you didn't know. You took a deep breath looking around slowly  everyones eyes were on you. Henry growled and snapped at them making the restaurant begin the nights festivities. You stood hugging him a few seconds more then pulled you back slowly.

"Good girl...Such a good girl you did the right thing. My little love. The right thing." He pulled you in pressing his lips against yours slowly not forcing anything just happy to let you remain there in his arms. He moved slowly escorting ou back to yur table where a waitress brought out your meal after a few moments.

After the incident you found it hard to relax and only did so once back home. The rest of the night was overshadowed by it dread rolled in your stomach Henry was tense. And that normally meant bad things for you. If henry was angry with you he hid it well through dinner and you both tried salvaging the evening in your own ways. But even hree slices of cheesecake couldnt lift your spirits completely.

Once in the house he slammed the front door it echoed down the halls. You flinched and turned to him But he bypassed you and shouted loudly into the house standing tall shoulders back he was itching for a fight ou could tell he wanted to break somehing. Someone.

"LUKE GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT HERE!" Within a few short moments Luke came running stuttering.

"Hen-Sir I didn't know but we have him in-" he was knocked clean off his feet as Henry swung for him. No warning nothing just one fast powerfull fist connecting with his jaw. You screamed jumping back, the commotion got kals attention as the huge dog came barreling in to the foyer barking and growling on the defensive. You ignored the usually sweet now frightening canine watching the scene before you unfold shaking head to toe. Youd never seen henry hit someone before...not like that, he meant that he wanted to cause real damage then.Once his victim was on the floor he crouched wagging a finger at him.

"Hair dye...Thats all he needed to avoid you....your really loosing your touch about as quickly as I'm loosing fucking patience....This fuck up, your fuck up ruined my night! What was supposed to be our first date down the fucking drain because you let it slip A-FUCKING-GAIN! I don't care where he is, infact I don't want you to tell me but you get the info out of him and release him...Do not kill him" Henry stood at his full height hissing looking to you then clenched his jaw. Brilliant! Fucking brilliant you were shaking in terror just how he wanted the fucking night to end! Not! He sighed running a hand acros his face then looked to the man still on the floor.

"Tell me that you've atleast set the room up for us and this night isn't a complete waste" the man on the floor nodded cupping his jaw that was hanging at a funny angle it looked broken. You tensed Henry was powerful muh more powerull then he looked.Henry sighed he didnt move he didnt want you to bolt.

"Love... I'm sorry I just...i know its scary but you know daddy would never ever hurt you...Not truley, please love stop looking at me like that... Could you come here please?....That's it good girl I'm sorry little one good girl just like that" you moved slowly past the man withering on the floor. And stood before Henry it took everything not to flinch from him as he moved to hold your waist and made his way to the stairs pulling you with him. You didn't fight him, you were scared stiff you doubted that even kal would protect you from his master. He walked you right up stairs to the bed room you winced seeing that things were out...Toys. He moved past you huffing and swearing leaving you to just stand and wait. He made his way into the bathroom tense he was angry, furious even. You shook unsure how to tread it had been a while since he was this angry and you wasn't sure who he was angry at. You, stephan or luke...You hoped it wasnt you.

You leaned on the dresser undoing the buckles on your shoes sighing once the sore soles of your feet hit the cool floor. You looked to the bed the sheets were changed. A dark purple satin with matching pillow cases a single black rose on your side of the bed and petals scattered about the place. It was romantic. Well until you saw the contraptions attached to the chair facing the bed which was intended for you to be placed upon. A large purple cilindrycal arch placed on the seat and..Well there was a very satisfying looking dildo sticking right up in the center and a small bobble textured silicone mat just in front of it, there were cuffs attached to the two back legs of the chair that would make the 'toy' take your weight you shivered unsure if you wanted to do this is he was in a mood. You shook your head best get to work calming him down.

You moved slowly to the bathroom he was hunched over the sink he looked up meeting your gaze in the mirror. you blinked moving behinde him hugging him from behind he froze in your arms hands still braced on the marble.

"Thank you daddy...tonight was fun even if he tried to ruin it" you pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He turned abruptly grasping your chin making you look in his eyes.

"You..you had fun..I thought you was upset?" you shook your head at him he sounded angry but you'd thought it was at you aparently not.

"Of course it was our first date...and we had our first dance I just...I wanted you to know that I'm greatfull" he blinked shaking you 

"LIES! How could you possibly? you wanted to go with him! to leave me! I LOVE YOU I FUCKING ADORE YOU AND YOU STILL WANT TO LEAVE ME! WHY? WHY DO YOU FUCK AROUND LIKE THIS? WHY DO YOU TRY TO MANIPULATE ME? MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME IM YOUR LOVER YOUR SOULMATE! IS THAT NOT ENOUGH?!" you screamed struggling as his nails broke the skin of your arms."NO!-NO PLEASE I DIDN'T- I WASN'T PLEASE DADDY DON'T!" you cried out loud trying to grab him as he spun you around slamming you to the door making it close with a slam the sound ringing in your ear

"ADMIT IT! ADMIT TO ME WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED! YOU WANTED HIM YOU WANT HIM!" you shuddered as his eyes searched yours but found only tears you shook your head trying to pull back from him.

"P-ple-ease your hurting me..Daddy I'm here with you-I chose you. I-I want you daddy, pl-please let go" your crying seemed to get more out of control as you now struggled to speak breathing was difficult. He blinked your painfull whimpers cuting him deep as he realized he was the cause. It snapped him out of it as he saw that he had infact hurt you he let go taking heaving breaths. 

He expected you to run but all you did was stay still sobbing your heart out before him clutching your bleeding arms. he moved a hand to you you managed not to flinch but he could see it you wanted to. You wanted to run from him. He swore and quickly wrapped you in his arms.

"Oh my god my love, my heart I'm sorry..I'm so sorry love please shush its okay your okay...shh shh I'm sorry daddy is here, come here my baby..My sweet sweet girl" he pulled you close and just like that he was soothing you again rubbing your back. you trembled and clutched onto him sobbing he took a deep breath.

"I-I'm s-sorry But I didn't I didn't want to go...I wanted to stay with you...He lied he used me im here..I decided to stay with you" he closed his eyes he knew you were coming around. He was just so angry. At Luke at Stephan and at himself. He had fucked up from word one he knew that. This wasn't the plan. He had so desperatly wanted to make tonight THE night. The meal and danceing having fun then bring you back to a romantic room and make love to you. To get your consent, to toy with you untill you were dripping begging for him and finally. finally spend himself inside you. And wake up tomorrow morning with you wrapped around him happy. tonight was supposed to be the first night of the rest of your lives. the introduction to your new life.but now that seemed the last thing that was going to happen, after manhandeling you like that he was sure you were now going to try and reject him completely. that this whole shit show was going to set the relationship back a good few weeks. you looked up cutely blushing.

"The..The bedroom is sweet...I like the sheets and...And the roses its romantic" he smiled down at you seeing that you was trying to overcome the little spat. He hummed grinning rubbing his hands across your back slowly feeling you unwind.

"You did ,did you? well I shall remember that" you opened you mouth then closed it slowly

"What is it? you looked like you was going to ask something very important then little one" you shuddered squirming under his gaze he noted you rubbing your thighs together.

"W-what is that thing? I-in there on the chair?" he smiled at your innocence and began ushering you to move so he could open the door guiding you out.

"That my love is a gift..For you mostly but I will also get some enjoyment out of it..It is called a sybian...Just think of it as my little babygirls very own rocking horse." he chuckled noticing you froze on the spot, he pressed you forward making you take step towards it.

"It rocks?" Henry laughed moving you closer.

"No my little love it does not rock, I have no doubt however that you will be once your on it...Not tonight tho I've my outburst has ruined our night already" you blinked you couldn't help being curious of the thing you blinked tilting your head, you might aswell start enjoying yourself afterall tonight youd made it clear you was going to stay of your own accord maybe its time to just take a leap of faith.

"No I want a go...And you did say its mine and that youd spoil me tonight...I want to play on it" his jaw dropped. What? Were you seriously initiating sex? It was the first time you'd started anything or even showed any real interest. He gulped looking from you to the expensive vibrator then you again. Could him clarifying your relationship have caused this change? Or was there something more at work, were their feelings involved. He wasn't sure but not one to kick a gift horse in the mouth he smiled nodding making you blush brightly and move forward running the tips of your fingers over the slim dildo inspecting it naively. Oh yes the night was back on track and Henry couldn't be more thrilled.

ABOUT THE BRAZILIAN CONCERT AND SITUATION

Ok, so, basically, I’m brazilian and I’ve been to a lot of international concerts here and I’d like to make things clearer for US and other international fans about what is happening.

1. we’re not having Lover Fest

so if anyone is still confused, WE DO NOT HAVE LOVER FEST AND ALSO SHES NOT COMING AS A FESTIVAL ACT. We’re having a solo normal concert (which, I think, is what we deserve after being ignored in every single tour)

2. This is THE 1st TIME Taylor comes to Brazil or LatAm

Taylor has been here once before for a private pocket show (30mins) for 1k guests only, back on 2012 when she was promoting RED. We never had tour or a concert before.

3. This is her ONLY LatAm concert

if there’s not as many of us as there are US swifties, then there’s even more. I’d say twice as much, at least. Still, only 1 show for a whole continent. 46.000 capacity.

4. Regarding to seats

Brazilian concerts have always been a mess. We have two big pits we call “pista” and “pista premium”, where we kill each other. People have been trampled before, being severely injured and some even died. I’m not even complaining about this rn because since she was never here before, and since there’s only ONE CONCERT for an entire continent, bringing chair seats to the game means less capacity. About 28k. So I’m kinda “ok” with it. Regardless, the right thing would be booking at least another 2 extra concerts in Brazil (1 more in São Paulo and another one in Rio de Janeiro, where usually international artists go to) and have numbered seats, so the amount of people who can attend doesn’t suffer and also to meet the demand. Shawn Mendes will be doing this here and I personally think it will be better and safer.

Also: not even cadeira superior and cadeira inferior, which are the only two chair sections, are numbered. This is a mess. They should AT LEAST number the chairs.

5. Presale

While I understand the presale privilege is always given to a certain bank clients or something similar, it is very dangerous to partner up with a relatively unknown bank for an event THIS HUGE. I checked and yes: the bank is safe. But also, they gave us wrong informations (stating that 50% of the tickets were going for presale, WHICH IS ABSURD and was later denied by T4F). I got the credit card and the limit I need, but what about those who didnt? It’s NOT OK. There are SO MANY misleading info about limit, e.g.: now they are saying that we should buy something irl before purchasing online. I honestly have to spend EVEN MORE MONEY so I can buy the tickets? They also don’t decide if they’re letting people who didnt get the needed limit deposit the difference for the ticket price beforehand. THIS IS AWFUL. The only one benefiting from this presale is C6 Bank. Thousands of young people created accounts in their bank, and NOT EVEN HALF ARE GOING TO BE ABLE TO BENEFIT FROM PRESALE.

6. Illegal fees

For me, this is the worst, most serious and concerning issue. I’ve been going to concerts since I was 10, and I can assure you that Time for Fun is the worst event promoter agency in Brazil. 4 of each 5 concerts I go to are theirs. There’s no organization, they don’t answer their phone/contacts, and now THEY ARE CHARGING AN ILLEGAL FEE. As of last March, The Superior Court of Justice of Brazil decided that charging fees over online tickets purchases IS ILLEGAL. That being said, Tickets for Fun IS STILL CHARGING A 20% FEE OVER THE PRICE OF THE TICKET. Also: they even charge for us to print the damn ticket AT OUR OWN HOUSE, using OUR OWN PRINTER. This is not only abusive, but illegal. We have contacted the autorities (Procon) many times, and we always get the same orientation: buy first, then report. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. 1st thing abt this: not everyone is aware the fee is illegal; 2nd: everything would be easier if they effectively forbidden the company from charging this illegal fee BEFORE the tickets go on sale. Who knows how many months I will have to wait to get my money back after I report them? In a country where approximately 50% of its people live under miserable conditions, this just makes me APPALED.

7. Album and merch prices

Thanks to our fascist president, dollar is peaking at 4,18 reais (as of 10/16). Last month, it was even higher. Only very few wealthy people can afford merch. And I cant even begin to explain how disgusted I was when I first saw the album price. standard version: R$ 59,90; deluxe versions: R$ 159,90. add around R$ 18 for the shipping fee. Keep in mind that these are national products. They are not imported, so there’s no reasonable explanation for this. If someone were to buy the 4 deluxe versions, it would cost almost a minimum wage. Let’s remind ourselves of 2 other important facts: 1. there are families of four that live with less than R$ 200; 2. actually seeing her live is cheaper than buying ONE deluxe version. Cadeira superior (student fare) is R$ 150,00 reais without fees at the official boxoffice.

This is what happening in Brazil right now. If you have any doubts, come to me. HELP US!! LET US BE HEARD!! In 13 years, never once we were actually considered. LatAm swifties, assemble.

omg pls rant abt Lila i also have.. a lot of issues with her and how ppl have reacted to her character

okay well first and foremost: i Love ritu. i absolutely adore that woman and im so happy that she's finally getting the attention she deserves, i support her and david dating too - so my opinions are genuinely not based on anything to do with that. just bc ive been accused of that by people who didnt realize ive been rooting for them since last summer lol.

anyway.

my biggest issue with lila is the fact that she was introduced as a chameleon. as brilliant or clinically insane as the situation requires. unpredictable. to me that sounded so incredibly interesting, because right from the bat i knew she was gonna turn out as the bad guy, or at least one of them and i was HOPING she would. i was really hoping she would be going batshit crazy on them, doing her thing as the evil person, then when s2 came along she got revealed to be the handler's daughter which to me made it even more exciting? because thats potential to get REAL crazy.

in the end, what we got was half-assed and incoherent and neither here nor there. we didnt get a chameleon, we got a mirror. lol. i expected her to be able to adjust to situations and people perfectly, charming them maybe, yknow. chameleon stuff. (would've loved it if she for example looked different to everyone and nobody actually knows what she looks like, alas. that would've been too creative i suppose)

and yeah her humor was "twisted" in a way, and she was charming... in a way. not to me, not to five, and i think the fact diego fell for her is really just him latching onto another problem/person/situation he needs to fix. the guy with the biggest trust issues on the show, openly telling her he prefers to know what people are even lying about, trying to cut her off multiple times the entire season, getting kidnapped and drugged by her to be shown off and introduced as "boyfriend" (??), turns out to be in love with her. okay. makes little to no sense, but i suppose you could partially blame it on her ability to be unpredictable and a chameleon (i still dont even know what they meant by that, where is the logic in calling her that-)

her undressing diego down to his underwear was creepy as hell to me, she knew exactly he’s only been stabbed and there was nothing else. she patches him up and climbs in bed with him as if they’ve known each other for ages. diego seems a bit "eh" at first, then just decides to fuck her. alright. a) diego, the guy with the biggest trust issues- b) i could see it as a letting off some steam thing tbh, just destressing or whatever. but he still had the stab wound that he allegedly almost bled out/died from so..... lmao. makes sense. in the end it wasnt just a quickie, it was ~love~ and that just doesnt sit right with me.

she lies to him from the get go, she manipulates his every move, she's invasive as all hell, she cant take a no in most situations, but sure. its love. sounds healthy.

the whole clusterfuck about their weird asylum relationship got completely drowned out by her "trying not to fall for diego", which essentially just made her character seem to be all over the place. she seems unfinished, like they disnt really know what to do with her, started off strong and then went off track and couldnt get back on. it seems like they changed a lot of things last minute and i cant make sense of her actions, especially not the way they wanted me to. its clear they were trying to keep up this guessing game about whether she would turn good for diego and his siblings or betray him. it was executed so poorly though, it just feels incredibly incoherent. she contradicts herself more often than not, and fine, lets say they wanted her to look confused about her situation and everything - it was still executed so poorly idk how else to put it. she was neither crazy enough for me to believe the character sheet we got beforehand, nor was she innocent enough for me to believe she really wanted to join them.

she literally tries to KILL all of diego's siblings and him in the end. she only seems to be considering joining them very last minute, like minutes before diego's little speech she was about to erase the entire hargreeves family. and she looked like she was having fun doing it too lmao. just doesnt sit right with me at all. diego proclaiming he loves her after all THAT doesnt sit right with me at all. like what, he tries to get away from her pretty much all season but decides she's worth it only after she tries to kill his family? diego??? im- come on.

i appreciate the thought of a redemption arc, but she wasnt nearly evil enough for me to even believe her original intentions, so i dont really know what her redemption would even look like.

and last but not least - the chameleon vs mirror thing. :) bro. that annoyed me so much. she essentially just goes and god-modes the entire season within 10 minutes, to say it with the words of a friend. like what was the point of that? the logic? how did they even know she could do that, if they allegedly dont know where the other kids with powers are? who did she train her powers on? plus, this is the oldest trope in the history of sci-fi/fantasy stories. someone turns out to be able to copy/mirror back the great powers of somebody else and overthrows everything. yawn.

what makes the others special if she can do whatever they do. maybe its just me being nit-picky at this point but i really dont want it. its so boring.

i had such high hopes for lila, i seriously was so excited to see her and it Still feels like such a let down just thinking of how s2 turned out. dont even get me started on all of them NEEDING a love interest apparently. because you cant be happy without one. thanks, but no thanks.

"s2 is gonna focus on the siblings' relationships!!" my ass. lila and diego's ~bond~ was as unnecessary and illogical as klaus' powers suddenly tenfolding and his paranoia of the spirits just lowkey vanishing with no real explanation other than "he's sober now ❤"

so yeah, all in all lila just seems the least fleshed out, randomnly thrown together and a Bit forced on the romantic part. i would've preferred her just being the big bad and going mental in the end. that would've been an interesting character choice for her.

from the bottom of my heart: why not.

sorry if this is too long, i couldnt help digressing here and there.

Alisa was having a good day. Well, a good day for her. She wasn't sure she could call any work day a good day, working as an A&E nurse. She had a night shift that day, beginning at 7pm, ending at 4am, so she had stayed in bed almost all day, only getting up for food and to go to the toilet before she had to get ready for work.

Much like her co-workers, she liked being a nurse. She liked to help people, give them a shot at a new life, whether seemingly better or worse than before. It made her happy being able to see the people she had cared for hours or a few days beforehand being let out into the world, ready to take life at its fullest before getting another one to care for rushed in. 

She moved to the city after finishing school. The heart of the state, her city was called. With the hundreds of thousands of people, whether they be citizens or visitors, the city was always moving, always working in one way or another. Sure, the rush of the city was wonderful, but the main reason she moved was to help more people. It was only common sense that a bigger city, and one with supers in would cause more people to need medical assistance, but she never thought she would meet any super.

Three or four hours into her shift, she heard the always waited for phrase over the tannoy; "adult female trauma call. 10 minutes,". Alisa had just come off her break, so she was ready to get going with a trauma call. Her colleagues and herself had set up everything expected for a trauma call, checking it over a couple times to make sure they had all the necessities. 

Mere minutes later, the patient got rushed in. She could see multiple colours in her clothes as she got rushed past Alisa and into the set up room. Alisa tapped the arm of her fellow nurse and rushed in after the paramedics. 

It was safe to say, she hadn't expected the person in the bed to be the one rushed into the emergency room. Hero, the 'saviour of the city' had never come to hospital before. She rarely got hurt, maybe a scratch here or there, or a small cut that needed tending to, but never this severe. She never needed to be hospitalized for it.

"Hey guys," she said hoarsely. "How are we all doing, this fine night?" One of the paramedics shot her a glare, clearly they had already told her off for her big mouth.

"This is Hero, she was pushed off a four-storey building, her powers cushioned her fall. She has two possible fractures to the lower spine, a concussion and dislocated shoulder along with a suspected collapsed lung," the paramedic listed her injuries, saying the medication she had been given afterwards, but Alisa wasn't listening. Something seemed off, but she couldn't place her finger on it.

They moved her from the stretcher to the bed, talking through the tests they were going to have to do. An X-Ray, and CT scan were the big ones. Hero was listening as they all spoke, her eyes darting from one person to the other, trying to keep up with what they were all saying. 

"We are going to have to take your mask off, alright?"

"No!" She blurted out, her eyes darting to Alisa. "No, you can't," 

"Miss, none of us will leak your identity. Only we will see what you look like, so you will have to put up with that I'm afraid." 

Hero closed her eyes, debating with herself in her head. "Fine," she looked at Alisa again. "But she can't be here for it." 

Alisa was shocked, even more so when her colleagues pushed her from the room, beckoning for another nurse to come in. What was Hero's problem with her? How come she was okay with everyone else in the room seeing her identity, but not Alisa? It didn't make sense to her, but she had to let it go; there were other patients who needed her help.

Unfortunately for Hero, Alisa was very nosy, so once the main doctor had gone to check one thing or another and it was only one nurse in the room, she slipped in. The blue curtain was mostly closed, only left a little open at the side the nurse was on, so Alisa had to properly peel around to see Hero.

Her eyes were closed, chest rising steadily. She would almost say Hero looked peaceful, but the furrowed eyebrows and screwed up forehead ruined that. Her hair was a matted mess of dark curly hair, lighter brown highlights running through here and there. That was when she realised who Hero was.

"Jade?" She gasped, pushing past the nurse and the curtain to get a better look of Hero - her girlfriend. Jade's eyes shot open, scanning the room before landing on Alisa. Her eyes, the colour of rust, softened immediately, seeing the confused look on Alisa's face.

"I thought I said keep away," she murmured, reaching her hand out from under the thin sheet to hold her hand. 

"Well, you know me, you should've expected this to happen," Alisa gripped onto Jade's hand for dear life. They hadn't been dating long, but as stupid as it sounded, they knew the were each others 'one'. 

"This wasnt how I wanted to tell you," Jade paused to laugh, but ended up coughing chestily. Once she had calmed, she continued. "I was going to take you out to dinner. It was going to be so romantic. That Italian place, at the back, next the the cellist. Then I would drive you home and before you got out, I would tell you, and you would be upset I didnt tell you before, but so supportive. Now it's all ruined, and I'm telling you on my deathbed. You've been invited to the last day of my life," Jade rested her head against the bed and closed her eyes.

"The last- what do you mean?" 

"Villain, before they knocked me off the building, they injected me with this liquid. It's a poison, Lis, deadly. It's killing me. I'll be gone by noon." 

Alisa was numb, Jade, her love, she was going to die. This Villain had killed her. 

"What's his name?" Alisa demanded.

"What?" Somehow, against all the laws of face muscles, Jade furrowed her eyebrows even more. "Why?" 

"Just tell me," Alisa squeezed her love's hand.

"It was Damian, or Dean. Something beginning with a D. Alisa, why do you want to know?"

Alisa bent down and kissed Jade on the forehead, her hand going to her messy curls. She bought her hand across Jade's ashy face, trying to memorize her face while she could. Then she stepped away and turned, not wanting to see what Jade would look like at her statement. "I'm going to kill that son of a bitch."

___

Sorry, it's a bit of a long one, I've got another on the way soon. Hope everyone is still okay ❤

(Please dont reblog or use as a prompt without my permission)

i watched “spy kids 3″ twice in one week and back-to-back throughout my childhood and here are my thoughts

whos gonna use 3d effects at home

up your prices

JUNI NO YOUR H A I R

hahah funney cuz he stepped in gum

its so quiet my volumes at 44 and its too quiet

the music sounds a little like isle of dreams from the last one

oh hes wearing the necklace!!

fun fact i hadnt seen any of rocky until freshman year and when i did i didnt know where i had seen that guy before. turns out hes the toymaker

juni dont ever step out of line for ANYTHING

buscemi!!!!

spider dude!!!!

ralph!!!!!

gerti!!!

whats up with the fancy pot. i hate it. doesnt match the aesthetic

if you havent seen her since christmas “last year” then that means you havent seen her in over a year. someone would have gone for her by now

shes NINE???????

“everyones your family” yeah no i dont want “everyone” in my family

“retired” youre ELEVEN

what was with that zoom in

“games and theory” dont you mean GAME THEORY

that dude looks like colonel sanders

ew its donnagon

oh shit mrs giggles is cute

v boxx???? ew

and i OOP-

i just realized theres been an “are you with me” type thing in each movie so far

why are there only five levels????? logically there would be one tutorial level, so you only get 4 levels to play on

he go ZOOM

looks like jumpstart

or reader rabbit

he can still use telepathy????

why is he carrying the coins???????? 

this guy looks like antman

he looks nothing like a toad

wait thats the floating head from sharkboy and lavagirl. tobias i think???????

so its hardcore mode????? just make a new account

they only added that for more 3d effects didnt they

this is just target smash from smash bros

the dark side of the moon doesnt exist stupid

youre TESTERS why are you trying to WIN

“knows karate”

when i was younger i was so confused why the time went down but now i realize that they actually had to GET grandpa

yeah well he DID deal with it

iron man? dont you mean valentin avellan?

i paused the movie for like 20 minutes to find my old spy kids 3d glasses and couldnt and now im sad

the dude in silver looks like this guy i know

juni is bumblebee

p r e d d y

he escaped by winning. if demetras so good, why is she still here???

WHY DOES HER MECH HAVE TIDDIES

“no ear biting” isnt that mike tyson

wait is the platform gyroscopic or not????? it is in some instances but not in others????

great job juni you killed her

i like the hippie one hes cool

nevermind hes lame

i like the killer guy now. chaotic evil

i think they legit used daryl sabara for the poster

i feel like i had junis car as a taco bell toy but it was blue

why would you listen to him

actually it IS a turbo boost it just turbo boosts you out of the car

wOah

oh no he died

why is grandpa so cool

according to my physics teacher that shouldnt work

why is antman helping you

these bikes shouldnt be working either

why would you have to lose a life to continue the race??? the fall is clearly implemented so why does juni lose a life???

why is there a COUNTDOWN

was there a time limit on the race??? i didnt pay attention

who are the dudes in the background

i never got the “atari-sega-nendo” joke until this week. i was a loser child

even if you dont shut it down before people get online its still gonna take them a bit to get to level 5, you have buffer time

“my cool” THATS👏NOT👏A👏SKILL👏

juni theyre already gone

wait thats illegal

“lava mountain” you mean a volcano??????

hahah l0zerz

awwwwwwwww

they stole tetris

oh my God its lego star wars

wait there are TWO characters in yellow suits you cant DO THAT

oh no she died

THERES THE ICONIC LINE

“dont fall in love with a game juni” WHAT ABOUT MINECRAFT

holy crap i thought that was loss for a second

“my feet stink” THATS A REFERENCE TO THE LAST ONE!!!!!

carmen!!!!

great job juni

because lava is COOL

the floor looks like 25 pounds of meth disguised as ancient aztec calendars

i was so confused as a kid because i had actual tinker toys and these weren’t it

i alwasy wanted to be the guys in the cells

i thought they couldnt help juni anymore????? why can they manipulate the game NOW

oh no have all died

nevermind

why are you always conspiring against juni???

haha gameboy

so apparently thats elijah wood??? dont know who that is but he looks like a rat

wow. inspirational.

is the guy like??????? really tall or something?????

oops

aww :((

what kind of advanced AI is this???? developing feelings???

yes you can youre literally just code

awwwwww

you may not be smart but you have g r e a t fashion sense

its called virtual reality look it up

i love this part because hes working so hard but then his kids are calling so he just… goes

also why did they reapprove this program

WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN THEYRE PRETTY IMPORTANT

you dont have to BREAK IT you could just LEAVE

SEE YOU A R E THEIR UNCLE

nice hair ingrid

machete!!!!

F L O O P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE👏THAT👏DUDE👏

and minion i guess

oh!!!!! floops wearing the good coat!!!!!!! he better run!!!!!

SOMEBODY RING THE DINKSTER??????

romero!

didnt you specifically say “im no loon” in the second one????

whats with the fist bump sound effect

hmm i wonder who

he go ZOOM

you can still????? go to a wedding????? in a wheelchair???? like i can assure you thats a thing

also its canon that at this point that ingrid is less than 30. carmen is 14. that means ingrid was 16 when she had carmen, and we know she was married beforehand

the toymaker isnt allowed to be family yet

YES!!!!!!! FLOOP IS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! LOVE THAT DUDE!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD THERE WERE NO SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS D:

OH!!!!!! INGRIDS FAMILY IS AVELLAN BECAUSE THE OTHER PRODUCERS LAST NAME IS AVELLAN!!!!!! nice

alexa vega went so hard for the song in this one i love it

wait now i have to review the fourth one oh NOOOOO

no offense to nature but like for real what is sohee doing in that group lol

she placed 15th on produce 101, she’s two years older than the next oldest member haha, she’s like... i mean i know she wasnt super famous but she was definitely *known*. i knew her name beforehand i think, but then again it was pretty easy to confuse her with the other kim sohee who was a soloist and then apparently became a member of elris? i didnt know who either of them really were and i dont listen to elris and i didnt get to the end of produce 101 so i didnt know what they looked like or could do, but i had heard the name, and i knew that there were several kim sohees lol. 

my guess is like.... and this is not gonna be a particularly uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh charitable theory................

nch (nature’s company) must have like... a lot of money. from somewhere. that or they’re spending a ton in the hopes they’ll make it back and they’re about to be MASSIVELY in debt.

their last comeback, I’m So Pretty, was moderately successful, their most successful one to date, but it wasnt a huge hit or anything. the fact that the music video on the official nature channel has 10 million views is.... misleading. i like to pay attention to music video viewcounts, my adhd pattern-and-data-loving brain loves doing meaningless tasks so i keep a spreadsheet of a ton of kpop music videos and i record the view count every week lol (i’m not a serial killer haha, i just really like seeing the trends and analyzing the data there haha). so like, i have the numbers for this.... I’m So Pretty got to 10 million views in about 3 weeks, accumulating views super rapidly during those weeks. that was three months ago... guess where the music video views are at right now. 10 million still. what... happened? did everyone watch the shit out of that video and then immediately get sick of it and stop? unlikely. i think this is a case of... the company buying views. the current amount that it makes per week, as well as the viewcount it has on the stone music channel are probably more reflective of how popular the song actually is. and like, even by that metric, I’m So Pretty is still their most successful comeback so far!!!! it didn’t really... need the extra help. and i dont think it amounted to anything anyway... if you search “nature im so pretty”, the stone music version shows up. you have to sort by viewcount in order to find the one on the nature channel. how would that video get 10 million views then? hmm

and so like... did they offer sohee a really good contract? it’s.... possible. or, more realistically, they offered sohee’s agent or manager or something a really good contract. like, don’t get me wrong, none of this falls on the idols. i don’t blame them. we know rigging and stuff is really common and widespread in the kpop industry... sigh

well, no matter what, i hope the members are happy, including sohee. hopefully no matter what the reason she signed with that label is, no matter how much money her agent got, i hope she sees this as an exciting opportunity and has formed a genuine friendship with the other nature members. 

i’m gonna be keeping an eye on the video views for oopsie. we’ll see if something like that happens again.

Saving You - Part I

*Hi everyone! First, I need to shoutout @hellosupernaturaldoctor​  for giving me advice and the confidence to even attempt this. This is my very first time writing any fan-fiction and the first time I’ve decided to post any of my writing some place other than a word doc. I’ve had this idea for this story since mid-season of the Mayans, and after the finale I put all my thoughts into a story. It starts off slow, but I promise what I have in store next will be worth it! PS, Any feedback is appreciated! - This story takes place a few months after the season one finale. Ez is now a newly patched in member, Alvarez is still working for Galindo; things have been quiet as of late, well for the most part.*

It’s a Friday afternoon, I’m just getting off of work. It’s hot as fuck outside – guess that’s the price you pay when you live in the desert. I lazily gather my purse from the backroom, before I step foot outside, I redo my hair. What was once a cute pony tail this morning has turned into a mangled mess. As my luck would have it, my hair tie snaps as soon as I go to wrap it around a third time. “Fuck.” I mumble to myself. I always wear an extra hair tie on my wrist, but I cannot have a naked wrist. “Fine, a mangled mane I will have. It’s fine, it’s fine.” I whisper to myself. If I don’t leave here now, I will lose all sanity I have left. Man, what a shit show day today has been, this heat must be getting to the kids. Two broken wrists, a broken arm, a no helmet incident and a random summer cold. I didn’t get puked or shit on, and no kid attempted to kick or hit, so I call today’s shit show a success. Just as I’m about to leave, one of my co-workers stops me, “Leah, good work today. You kept that broken arm kid really calm. Keep it up.” Elena tells me with a smile. “Thanks, Elena. I’m just doing my job, but I always welcome feedback, so thanks again.” I say to her as I head out the back door. It’s 4:30pm, I’ve been on the clock since 6am, one would think I deserve to simply go home and use my complex’s pool – oh one can dream. But nope, I’m still on the clock but I guess you could call this gig more of an always “on-call” service.

I pull up in my old school blacked out Jeep Grand Cherokee about twenty minutes after I leave the clinic to the Romeo Brothers Scrapyard, also known as the headquarters for the Mayans MC.  

Chucky greets me, per usual. “Greetings Nurse Aleeah.” He says to me with a big smile and a salute. I let out a giggle as I always do whenever someone says my full name…I rarely ever go by it, but around here, I hear it more than I have in years. But Chucky, oh Chucky– how does one describe a chronic masturbator who has a good heart and is part of the biker world without truly being a biker? I guess I just did, didn’t I? “Hey Chucky, how are you?” I ask as I park and exit my Jeep. “I am well, swell actually. I have no complaints today.” Chucky answers with a big smile. “Good, I’m glad to hear that.” I say as I give his arm a friendly squeeze. “The boys need your assistance, I don’t know details but clearly someone got messed up hence why you are here.” Chucky explains in typical Chucky fashion.I roll my eyes as I stand in front of the clubhouse. “It’s always something with these boys, huh?” I rhetorically ask. Chucky nods his head and heads back to the office. I walk up the steps and take a deep breath before I enter the clubhouse. This club is like a box of chocolates, you never know what the fuck you’re going to get so it’s best you just grin and bear it. Is it just a cut from a broken beer bottle? Did a fight break out and there is blood everywhere? A bullet wound? A stabbing wound? A rat bite? Like I said, you just never know. I open the doors and pray today is nothing major. “Have no fear, your favorite RN is here.” I announce as I enter the clubhouse and strike a pose in the doorway.  “Umm, isn’t it RN BSN?” Riz corrects as he stands and greets me. “Have I told you that you’re my favorite?” I reply with a playful wink and smile, it does make me truly happy that these guys acknowledge and are proud of my accomplishments. “Hola Aleeah.” Riz says to me while we greet with a warm hug, per usual. “Hey, I spy my favorite nurse!” Gilly shouts from across the room. Creeper, Hank and Taza also wave from the card table. “Greetings gentlemen, you all seem to be in one piece.” I say as I mosey around the few tables between me and the guys. “Although that pleases me, who is the one who called up 1-800-Rescue Nurse?” I sarcastically spit, which receives some laughs from the guys. “They’re in church.” Hank points towards the door. “They? Plural?” I ask looking at Riz, and he nods to confirm. “Jesus Christ.” I say palming my face. “Lee Baby!” Coco shouts from exiting church and walking over to me with open arms. “Ah, Coco Loco.” I reply with a smile and we hug. “How are you doing, Coco?” I ask after we break our embrace. “A lot better than your next two victims.” He replies, him not making much eye contact and that just gives it away – I know automatically who my victims are. “You gotta be kidding me? They got into it again?!” All Coco does is nod and look down at the floor. “How bad?” I ask. “What do you mean? How bad do they look? Or how bad is it between them?” Coco asks me. I shake my head with disgrace. I angrily take my steps towards church and I aggressively open the door. “Damn, she is pissed.” I hear Creeper’s echo as I close the door, as soon I enter the room. Looking at the table, I see them. One is at one end, the other one on the opposite end. I drop my nurse’s bag on the table and cross my arms. “You two have some damn nerve - getting into it again. Jesus. You’re fucking brothers, you are blood – blood don’t do this shit.” I yell with anger and confusion. Silence fills the air as the guys look at each other and up at me. Bishop then looks over to me and quirks an eyebrow and half smile. “Excuse my poor manners, Bish. Your boys tend to make me lose all sanity I have left at the end of a work week.” I tell him as I walk over and give him a warm embrace. “Oh Leah, you’re fine. I know this shit has been out of control recently.” Bishop pauses and looks over to the guys. He takes a deep breath. “I’ll let you handle them now. I’ll be outside if you need a referee.” Bishop exits and I just stand there, crossed arms again. Both boys refuse to look me in the eye, but instead stare each other down. “Are you just going to stand there?” Angel seethes. I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Give me one good reason as to why I should fix the both of you up? Huh? Because as I see it, this is the fourth time this month…THIS MONTH!  Angel, please, humor me and explain to me why the fuck I should tend to your wounds yet again? Maybe if I let you both be, you’ll learn these fights aren’t worth it.” I take a deep breath myself, and I run my hand through my tangled hair, which I then end up putting up in a pony tail right after, I’ll just have to remember to find another hair tie to wear on my wrist later.   “Alright, I’m sorry I went off. You two, you two just frustrate me.” I say holding my hands up mimicking a surrender. I take another breath and look between the boys. My gaze is drawn to EZ, probably because he’s the easier one out of the two. “Okay, EZ, I see that nasty cut on your cheek, oh and your hand – good going big brother.” I say as I look over to Angel. He looks away the moment I look his way. “Shocker, EZ gets to be first yet again.” Angel chirps. “Seriously?” I snap. “I’m over here fucking bleeding, I could be dying but all you and anyone ever cares about is Ezekiel.”   “Shut it Angel, just shut it, please.” I beg. I start to tend to EZ’s war wounds; some cuts, a nasty one on his cheek – I’m guessing Angel’s rings got the best of him this time around. EZ, he doesn’t say much this time I’m here. I know that he feels the same way as me – he’s tired of this back and forth shit with his brother. “EZ, no more. It’s one thing when you all call me to take a bullet out, or to give a rabies shot, but this shit – playground fights, I’m done.” I explain as I place the last bandage strip to his cheek. EZ doesn’t make eye contact, and his jaw is clenched. His knees shaking. “I know, Lee. I’m sorry you’re doing this again.” EZ tells me as he finally meets my eyes for the first time. EZ, he’s easy to read. He wears his emotions in his eyes, his eyes right now are filled with pain and sadness. This whole feud with Angel, it’s taken a toll on everyone in this club. It’s been almost eight months of this fuckery. “Remove the bandage Sunday night, it needs about 48 hours to heal. If you feel the need to remove it beforehand, clean it thoroughly. Have some of your favorite tequila tonight, and you will be good.” I tell EZ as I throw away the things I used to care for him. “Thanks, Lee.” He says as he kisses me on the cheek and walks somberly out of church. My heart aches for EZ, because the pain – physical and emotional is all over his face and body. Angel hasn’t taken his eyes off of the wall nor has he spoken. I slide my bag down the table as I slowly make my way towards him. Rubber gloves are on, and I grab his face. “Let’s see your damage.” I say, like a dog would when a human goes to check their mouth for something, Angel gives me a little tension as I touch his face. Again, no eye contact. A look of annoyance screams from his expression. I see a nasty cut on the side of his head, by his eye – a sensitive area which bleeds more than most. A black eye is also forming. “Jesus Christ, Angel.” I say examining the cut a little further. “This has to stop. I’m begging. I cannot deal with looking at you two like this, because my fear is that one day, I’m going to be too late to help any of you.” “What if it is?” He spews. I scoff, “No more.” Is all I manage to say. I take out an alcohol swab to clean out his cut. “This is going to sting, on the count of three – one, two, three.” I say as I then put the swab against the cut. A loud hiss comes from Angel and an instant reaction of mine is to grab his face and blow lightly at the cut, helping the sting not be so painful. Angel’s eyes then lock with mine, a look of shock and confusion fill his brown eyes. Angel and I, we’ve had a very interesting relationship since I first came to Santo Padre. He gave me an attitude and I gave it right back – he seemed more pissed off when I talked back than just walking away, and the more I talked back, the more tension built up between us. We started out on the wrong foot, and that’s how we have remained. He lets me care for him, depending on the time of day. Sometimes he lets his girlfriend, well I think she’s his girlfriend, Adelita, clean him up. Today, for whatever reason, he stuck around the clubhouse. I continue to blow on his wound, and I wince back in pain for him because I know it had to sting like a bitch. “Uhh, sorry. It’s a habit of mine, when I treat the kids, I have to do this; they hate it too, so that technique helps them...” I ramble and look away because I sense a bit of embarrassment, as I’ve never been “nice” to Angel. I look and reach back at the table to grab what I need next, just as I turn to face Angel again, I notice a very small smile on his face. “What?” I question, because seeing him smile legit concerns me. “It’s nothing, Leah.” He says monotone and lets me continue working on him. A few more minutes go by, and I determine that he doesn’t need any stitches, just a little butterfly work on one of his eyebrows. “Okay, that’s all. No stitches today, that cut on the side of your face, it’s a sensitive area that bleeds more than most. Your eyebrow cut, it’s an awkward cut – it’s ugly but not ugly enough for stitches. My only request is when you clean it out, could you please use both water and soap?” I emphasize. I know how these guys operate. They either use a dirty rag or tap water to clean themselves up. I turn to clean up my stuff and Angel lets out a minor laugh, which catches me off guard. I look at him and quirk an inquisitive look. Angel stands up, he turns behind his chair and lightly pounds his fist to the back of it. “You sounded just like my ma.” He tells me, in the softest voice I have ever heard Angel speak in. I offer him a small smile as I already know what that history is. Angel leaves church, and per usual no other words are spoken, no thank you’s, nothing. I stay behind a few more moments and collect my thoughts and belongings. I hear the door open, at first I’m startled but relieved it’s just Bishop. “How we doin’, sweetheart?” He asks. I let out a very deep sigh and my facial expression tells my feelings of this whole ordeal. Bishop can’t help but laugh, “I know, Lee. I know.” He tells me as he pulls me in for a hug. “I just need to go home and lay in bed and watch a trashy romcom.” I exclaim as I grab my bag. “I think you’ve deserved that, but before you go – you have a visitor.” He tells me. A look of a deer in the head-lights flashes across my face, who the hell could be visiting me? “Just come with me.” Bishop motions for me to take his hand and follow him. Nerves take over, with the Club, you never know what can happen. As I exit the room, I see the guys scattered all over the clubhouse yet all eyes are on me. “Your visitor is the biggest pain in my ass, so make it quick.” Bishop says, but I catch his playfulness I his voice and I look to the bar and I see who Bishop is talking about – Marcus Alvarez.

avengers endgame reaction (spoilers!!!)

**if youre on mobile scroll fast bc idk if the keep reading works

holy shit holy shit fuck fuck fuck

i am an emotional wreak right now

ahhhhh it was so good im crying still

tony fucking stark my heart i guess ill start there 

tony stark i love you three thousand. he got his happy ending with morgan and pepper for 5 years they had 5 years together and he knew that the time heist (lol) would jeopardize that and he still went and helped

that scene where he had it out with steve at the beginning fuck my heart was breaking and i was crying .

i cried a lot in this movie. legit sobbing when nat died but ill get to that

that scene was everything i wanted it to be and perfectly executed. of course hes angry and lashing out because they were supposed to do it together and lose together and the emotion behind that ughh rdj killed it

he literally hands steve his heart the arch reactor

tony and howard ugh everything with them together. tony got closure with his dad 

everything tony was great. 

steve 

he got his happy ending. he got his dance with peggy (now im crying again) fuck. and he PICK UP MJOLNIR omg that scene was amazing and everything i never dreamed could happen when the hammer started moving ughhhh omg i was cheering so loud in the theatre and i dont normally do that. that whole scene ugh theres so much to react to

and he got to say assemble. 

ok now from the beginning. 

i started to cry literally before it even started. the screen was black and i was already tearing up but when clint and his daughter came up and then his family disappeared i was full on crying.

carol coming in clutch and saving tony and nebula yessss

steve and tony’s conversation right when he gets off the ship was everything i wanted it to be. (crying again) everything. 

when they go to thanos’s house thing and thor chops off his arm . its what ive been saying they shouldve done on titan 

and then he went for the head! 

five....... 

years later

fuck them. literally when the ‘five’ came up i was like no no no dont you dare do it dont you dare and then they did it. fuck them

five fucking years?!?! they made them live through 5 years of that trauma?!?!? 

nat was everything in this film. she became the leader and keeping track of everything and her moment of breaking down was just so human. she couldnt move on in those 5 years and it just shows how much the avengers had become her family. 

scott and cassie omg cassie all grown up made me so emotional 

tony and morgan i love you three thousand she is the cutest and sweetest thing 

tony fucking stark figured out time travel. he did that. 

when tony gives steve his shield back my heart could not take it

the scenes where they were trying to pinpoint the exact time to go back and it was like a sleepover sesh and all the domestic avenger fanfics 

going back a little bit

clint killing all the people that should have been killed and deserved to be killed and being a total badass showing up all those people who said he was just really good with an arrow and every scene he has with nat.

‘dont give me hope’

thor. oh where to start. he really did lose everything and he was blaming himself for all that happened so i get where hes coming from. every time you could see him remembering and tormenting himself about what happened broke me. his scene with his mother (crying again)

also hulk/bruce was an interesting choice (not a huge fan of it but ok) 

the time traveling

everything about the new york scenes were amazing. the aftermath of the end of the avengers, loki turning into cap for a second, seeing rumlow and sitwell come out, steve getting into the elevator and channeling that winter soldier energy (i was slapping my sister on the arm so hard at this part) hail hydra and outsmarting them all. cap fighting cap “i can do this all day” lmao i was dying ‘bucky is alive” again dying they really nailed it with this. i was worried beforehand because like it would change how we would see the og avengers but i still think it works

also can talk about how tony (and scott) was checking out steves ass????

“i forgot how that suit did nothing for you ass” (be still my heart) “i like to think of it at america’s ass” (or whatever the line was) 

loki getting away with the tesseract (is that in this timeline im confused about that hopefully someone will explain bc does that mean loki is alive in this timeline or not? lol)

them going back to the 1970s (do you trust me? i do) and tony meeting howard and introducing himself as howard potts. again i know i talked about howard and tony already but i loved their scenes. and JARVIS FROM AGENT CARTER MAKING AN APPEARANCE OMG

PEGGYYYYYYY (crying) when steve walked into her office (grabbed my sister again) and when he was watching her through the window and you could feel his pain. 

thor and rocket are the pairing that i never imagined but amazing none the less. i loved that we got the return of mjolnir here even though idk what that does to the timeline (again who knows at this point) 

rhodey and nebula again another pairing i didnt expect but are great together. everything about nebula in this film. she really has a great arch. i was stressing out so hard when the alternate timeline thanos found out that they came from the past. the scene where peter quill is dancing and singing to no music was great.

clint and natasha. this pairing thie duo the og. fuck my heart. when they started going off to vormir i knew. i knew it and i cannot handle it. the whole scene where they are fighting each other to sacrifice themself i was SOBBING. LEGIT SOBBING. ‘let me go’ i loved this so much and also hated it. she deserved her happy ending too. after everything she gave up everything to save those people. her arch is so good too. im excited for her origin. i kinda want to see her when shes a bad guy and killing everyone and her journey to shield. i hope thats what we’ll see in her movie. 

but also that scene emotionally fucked me up hard. 

the og avengers (minus nat) sitting on the edge of the lake 

thor trying to put on the glove and redeem himself (in his own eyes not my own bc he doesnt deserve the shit he gets for not going for the head)

hulk doing it and the calm before the storm where everything goes back before that missile comes firing down. 

steve tony and thor facing off with thanos. everything about this scene. tony getting a juice-up from thor and lightning to max out his powers. steve jump kicking on thanos’s ass. thanos beating up thor and steve coming in with FUCKING MJOLNIR AGAIN CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I WAS CHEERING AT THIS POINT HE IS WORTHY MY BOY STEVE IS WORTHY

also on that note tony coming up to steve and saying “theres my man” or something and giving him back his shield again. 

steve standing there with his broken shield ready to face off with thanos’s army and sam coming in on the comm. and then EVERYONE COMING THRU AND KICKING NAMES AND TAKING ASS

legit cheering and crying so much 

valkyrie with her pegasus

shuri with her blasters 

peter parker and his reunion with tony was heartbreaking. tony looked so broken and complete at the same time. he got him back. 

PEPPER FREAKING POTTS 

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE (YEESSSSSSSS)

peter quill’s semi-reunion with gamora and how she doesnt know him but he gets her back

also gamora, nebula and still-evil!nebula was a great scene. nebula killing her past self is some symbolic shit right there AND to protect her sister who she hated

CAROL FUCKING DANVERS COMING TO SAVE THE DAY AND KICK THANOS’S ASS 

im sad that she wasn’t in the film as much but i get why they did it and it also makes me really excited for her future films

but carol getting the gauntlet and peter saying “i dont know how youre gonna get through that” 

and ALL THE BADASS MCU WOMEN COMING UP BEHIND HER READY TO FIGHT AND REPRESENT FOR THE FEMALES (CRYING) 

this is something that couldn’t of been done a few years ago because there weren’t a lot of female superheroes in this universe and just the fact that this scene can make such an impression and become probably one of the most badass scenes of the mcu is one of the best things that came out of this movie.

side note: ‘activate instant kill’ great callback 

and then we get to the sacrifice.

i knew it. i expected it. i read it in fanfics.

i was still not prepared. 

‘I am inevitable’

‘I AM IRON MAN’

FUCKKKKKKKK they really know how to write these movies. 

he knew he would die. he knew he would never see morgan again. but he knew what he had to do. 

his character arch from a selfish man to a selfless man has been the most profound and powerful story. 

rdj and tony stark have really carried this franchise. they were the start. and it makes sense that his death closes out this era of the mcu. 

to rdj: i will never forgive my mom for telling me that she didn’t like you way back when. that really influenced how i thought about you and about tony stark for years. and i limited me from really appreciating and loving iron man and those movies and tony’s character. but as i continued to watch more of you in the mcu and in real life and have seen how you have grown and who you are today, i have so much love and respect for you and your character. im just so upset at the time i lost where i could have fallen even more in love with you. thank you so much for everything you have done over the last 11 years for this franchise. thank you for the time thank you for the memories and the laughs. the journey has been amazing. 

the funeral scene with ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ 

(also was the the kid from iron man 3 in the back?)

VALKYRIE BECOMING KING (queen? i say king but who knows) of new asgard. look at my killing baby all grown up and being the leader they need.

thor becoming a guardian basically. 

also was quill looking for his gamora? where was the gamora from this timeline on the ship? she wasn’t there in the scene so idk

also fighting with knives to see whos in charge lol

im glad people mentioned/mourned for nat too 

steve rogers 

steve.

i knew he wasn’t coming back.

bucky knew it too.

im wreaked

but at least he got his happy ending. he got his peggy (again idk what that does to her timeline) 

captain sam wilson america in the house.

(old steve looks like joe biden or is it just me lol)

they ended it with a steggy dance and kiss

it really was a perfect end to his story and it wrapped up his character really well. he got that life he deserved 

to chris evans: as this is probably the last time we will see you as captain america let me thank you too for the years and joy that you have brought to my life. youre it for me. you are the reason i became so invested in this world. when you jumped on the fake grenade i was in it with you. chris you are and will always be the best chris in my heart. your passion for this character and understanding of steve rogers and his motivations have created such a memorable performance. steve rogers will always be the og. he will always have my heart. i am so thankful that you took this opportunity and used it and made this character your own. you live up to the standards that steve holds for himself and i am so excited for your future. i am also so glad that you didn’t die in this movie bc i definitely could not have handled it if i had to watch both my favs die. i love you three thousand.

i literally cried throughout the whole movie. there were laughs, cheers, groans, stress, tears, and love throughout this film. i am so grateful that i am alive during this time in cinematic history. there will never be something as great or momentous as this film. a true culmination of 22 films. its never been done and i doubt itll ever be done again

i am also so impressed and amazed by how well this film turned out. it is just amazing how everything fell into place 

im sure ill read other people’s reactions and they will bring up points or problematic things that will taint my view on this movie but i dont want that to ruin my own experience

and for me, this was truly emotionally draining and fulfilling. the feeling of being in that theatre with all those people who love the characters as much as i do and experiencing this film for the first time is something i will never forget. 

people talk about how they remember lining up for star wars.

well i remember sobbing my eyes out when nat died, cheering along with everyone when cap picked up mjolnir and whipped thanos’s ass with it and when carol and the rest of the badass women of the mcu ready to kick ass, crying with everyone as the light went out in tony’s chest and eyes, watching as history was made in front of our eyes.

and the end credits with the og avengers getting recognition with their photos and autographs. 

i love this franchise and these films and these characters i dont know who i would be without them. 

one last thing

thank you to the og avengers. steve tony thor nat clint bruce. chris robert chris scarlett jeremy mark. you will always have a special place in my heart. you were there at the start. you were the reason this all could happen you were the reason i became so invested in these movies. you brought these characters to life and embodied them. you are all so much like your characters the casting is perfect. thank you for your dedication to your work to you fans and to your characters. it means so much that you all stuck through this together and that you are such great friends in real life and i can only hope that one day i can be so lucky as to meet you all and thank you in person. 

villain!au sicheng

prince dong sicheng has always ruled his country with one motto: do anything for the survival of his people 

and most people assumed that meant,,,,,keep political peace and ensure basic necessities for all

and while sicheng was nothing but a hands on and loving leader who protected the basic rights of all his citizens 

and made sure that the rest of the world saw just that

clean cut dong sicheng, his white princely uniform and warm, welcoming smile

offering resources and trade but also securing the tradition of his people

there was much more to sicheng,,,,,,than believed by his own people, his own royal family, and of course - the rest of the world media

because the moment he stopped shaking hands with the princes of other countries or the presidents or the army generals or whoever

and the cameras and media all left for the day

he’d retire to his office and tap his foot impatiently, staring out of the large windows that lead out to a view of the capital of his country

and he’d think,,,,,,

what else do we need? what else should i steal 

he’d never thought that the training he got as a child, all those dance classes and whatnot would have made him as agile and as strong of a fighter as he was now

he’d always played delicate and soft ,,,,,,, approachable and passive,,,,,,but he’d taken down groups of men with his bare hands, without any help

of course,,,,he wasn’t some low level criminal who went around on the streets of his own country

no, he targeted big people

people with power

the people he shook hands with at one meeting, he’d show up at their hotel rooms in the night

face covered, a gleaming ceremonial knife used for years by the royals he was related to pushed up to their throats

and sicheng would not kill,,,,he would blackmail - negotiate - and get whatever resources he thought his country was lacking at absolutely any cost

he’d secured higher trading contracts for the merchants in his country like this

got a top scholar to leak his plans for solar-powered energy to sicheng so he could implement it in new housing projects

and when he’d found out that one of the presidents that was staying at his hotel had apparently been involved with criminal neglect toward women,,,,,sicheng had made sure to mess him up just enough that when he returned to his country - he resigned there on the spot

sicheng didn’t like the word criminal he preferred vigilante

when children asked him what his favorite movie was when he visited the schools he’d smile coyly and answer

“robin hood!”

your first encounter with sicheng was during the welcoming ceremony of the first of many meetings between sicheng and diplomats from the bordering countries

you were assigned a guide, a helpful and adoring taeyong who only sang the highest of praise about sicheng

and when you saw him,,,,,standing before you in that famous all white uniform

the golden tassels and badges that adorned the front lapel would have blinded you if sicheng’s iridescent smile hadn’t beat them to it

“isn’t he just perfect?!?” taeyong exclaimed “so young but still leading us so well!”

obviously you could do nothing but nod

still in awe at how,,,,,unreal the prince looked up close

and when you threw a glance back at him, half listening to taeyong chatter about the museums he’d have to show you while you were around

you could see that sicheng’s expression never changed,,,,,not from one diplomat to the next

it was the same

and as beautiful as he was, as graceful and forthcoming 

his slicked back hair not a centimeter out of place

not a button on his uniform unshined

you thought that something was just too good about all of this to be true

how was someone so young,,,,,with a country whose army power was rivaled by every diplomat’s homeland

doing so so so well for itself?

but you stopped your thoughts there - it was rude for you to overshadow sicheng’s hard work and efforts to keep his country pristine and safe

he just,,,,,,,had the magic touch you guessed

and returned your attention to taeyong

the second time you got to see sicheng after that was at the conference you were presenting to him about your country and his country’s mutual benefit of trading

when you came into the room you had noticed that sicheng was already there

that was unusual,,,usually you set up by yourself beforehand and then the prince would be ushered in by his entourage of “important” people

but there he was

alone

taeyong comes in a moment later and disregards you in order to ask the prince a flurry of questions

you set up,,,,,,but you feel sicheng looking at you even with all of taeyongs attention on him

the presentation is nothing stellar,,,,you get your major points across and you’re direct about your countries resources 

sicheng makes small notes and his eyes dont light up at any of the propositions you’ve been asked to present on behalf of your country

when it’s over

he gives you the same smile when you first met,,,,,,warm - but yet,,,,its lost its touch the second time around

but when you shake his hand he pulls you a bit

letting taeyong exit first before he asks, “why were you looking at me at the welcoming party yesterday? is there something you want to ask me?”

his voice is gentle, soft

it reminds you of a lullaby ,,,,, but a lullaby thats supposed to make you feel safe before a storm

“o,,oh i just,,,,,ive never seen a prince before. this is my first visit as a diplomat - i hope i didnt offend you!!”

you try your best to play it off as genuine curiosity and sicheng lets your hand go with a satisfied nod

“ah,,,,well you’ll see me so much you’ll get sick of me”

 he laughs and you notice that he’s not wearing the white uniform, instead its a high collar shirt paired with golden cuff links and a necklace that you recognize as being an artifact from the early eighteenth century

you don’t say anything else, just bow goodbye

and think that it’s a little freaky for sicheng to have noticed you glance over your shoulder

when he was in a room where everything and everyone else was of much more importance

you also note that when sicheng had spoken to you just then,,,,you’d noticed that he hadn’t taken any of the proposals that you’d left on the table for him

something just felt,,,,,,,,off

and it wasn’t just off,,,your whole stay in his country was becoming downright confusing

the day after your presentation you had known other diplomats had spoken with sicheng as well

one of them was a german diplomat who you’d known was famous for discovering a new use of oil in germany but was yet to publish information on it because the government wanted to keep it to itself

that same diplomat,,,,,,had suddenly pulled out and left the country the morning after

you’d learned about it from taeyong at breakfast

and then,,,,,when you’d returned to your room you found a package on your bed from the prince

it was a costume,,,,to wear to dinner tonight at his palace

taeyong was downright in hysterics about not knowing that there was going to be a dinner and that now he had to find something nice to wear

and you were just staring at the box,,,,,the costume inside,,,,,and the flash of sicheng’s face when he’d questioned you yesterday

the dinner was apparently a invite-only among the diplomats,,,,out of the 14 who were there only 7 were invited

and no one of you knew why

sicheng of course made sure everyone forgot about that,,,making cheerful toasts and talking about projects that he was starting in his country to help further education and aid to poorer, less urban parts

everyone was talking politics and whatnot and had let the weirdness and abruptness of the event fade from their mind

and then there was dancing,,,,,,

first by the ballroom dancing professionals of sicheng’s country and then by the diplomats themselves

but before south korea’s diplomat, young and a little shy mark, could come over to you

sicheng had stepped before you and smiled,,,,,,,,the same warm - but now cold smile,,,,,

“you liked the costume?”

“it’s very nice,,,,,but it seems expensive?”

sicheng waves his hand, “it’s a traditional costume from my country. it’s a gift.”

you take the chance to break eye contact and look around,,,,,no other diplomat is wearing anything like yours,,,,,you wonder what their presents from the prince were

and what the presents to those diplomats not in attendance were as well

“may i?”

sicheng takes your hand and you snap back to the moment 

he twirls you around before you can even answer and then suddenly,,,,,,you’re chest to chest with royalty 

so close you can feel sicheng’s heartbeat through the linen fabric of his shirt

and you can see the details of his flawless face up close

his eyes are darker like this,,,they’re almost the color of tar and the pupil is nearly unseen

his hairs been slicked back again and on his side there are golden pins to fasten it back

he’s like a prince from a fairytale,,,,,not from real life

and then you hear it,,,,,just faintly above the music

“be careful”

with one last twirl, sicheng lets you go and turns to the next diplomat

your head spins and for a moment you assume you hallucinated that line

but when you see sicheng looking at you over the shoulder of his new dance partner you know,,,,,,,,,,he said it

but you have no damn clue what you’re supposed to be careful of,,,,,is it of him? and if so, why? 

isn’t he the beloved prince,,,,,the one who can do no wrong

you don’t get it,,,,and so you just stay and continue to do your job

and watch as diplomats either leave the country or end up coming to meetings looking stark and pale

and sicheng just collects all these new trade agreements, all these new resources 

and one afternoon you open the paper and see that the subway system will be implementing new energy resources from solar powered tracks and you remember the german diplomat who had left so early on

sicheng doesn’t send anymore gifts,,,,but he continues to keep you close

he has you sit beside him at meetings with everyone else

he entertains taeyong in order to keep you roped in the conversation

and he even flirts,,,,,,with you

all of which you can’t even fathom until,,,,,,,,you decide to hatch a plan and figure out if your theory about sicheng hiding something is true

so you request to give another presentation which sicheng’s assistant gets back to you in a matter of hours

with an overwhelmingly excited “of course the prince will want to hear about it!!!!!!!”

you grit your teeth when you answer, “i can’t wait to show him”

it’s a complete lie of course

your whole presentation is something you came up with in your head because in reality our country has nothing really interesting or big to offer

but you get up in front of sicheng and announce that your country has gained access to gold

a whole mountain of it

and sicheng’s eyes spark unlike the first time you gave your presentation on something about trading

and now he’s really listening

and you’re really selling it 

and when it’s over, sicheng has a million questions

all of which you planned for and answer with clearity

and that night, after dismissing taeyong, you sit in the hotel room given to you and you wait

because something is telling you,,,,,,,that sicheng will come

you turn of the lights and sit in bed and at exactly two in the morning the door to your room clicks with the softest noise

you stop your breathing and listen 

and it’s only when sicheng is at the corner of your bed do you realize how quietly and quick he’s moved and you shine the light of your phone up to reveal his figure there

his mouth his hidden by a black mask and he has the knife in his hand and his eyes are wide - but stoic like a black, unmoving ocean

and you swallow,,,,,,,

but sicheng doesn’t stay shocked for long and you’re not nearly as fast as him because he has you pinned down in a matter of seconds

“did you set this up?”

his gentle voice is now rasping and low

“there’s no gold,,,,,” 

you begin and you feel sicheng’s knife in the hand that’s holding your left wrist down

“how did you know ,,,,,how did you know i would do this?”

you feel a mixture of fear but also your suspicion has been answered

there is this other side to the prince,,,,,,the other side that you’re sure those other diplomats saw

and had to end up cowering to their governments and leaders to agree to whatever sicheng wanted

with how he was right now,,,,it was obvious that anyone would bend to his will

but you didn’t have anything to bend to, you had nothing to offer 

you just wanted to know why

“why are you doing this,,,,,your country isn’t in peril, it isn’t in economic or political downfall, you haven’t had a war for over one hundred years why are you threatening people-”

sicheng’s grip on you tightens and you wince

“i don’t threaten ‘people’ i threaten their power,,,,,their power that they dont want to share. do you know my motto, you have had to have done some research before coming here?”

your mouth goes dry,,,,

he’s right you did do research so you know it 

“do anything for the survival of your people”

sicheng sneers and then lets you go, you lay there and he flicks the lights on

the mask he had on is off, stuffed into the corner of his black jeans 

and his hair that had been perfect, not a centimeter out of place 

is now messy and falling in bangs above his eyes

he leans back against the wall of the hotel, he knows you can’t do anything to him

you know it too

so now it’s just a matter of what kind of consequence you’re going to have to pay to seeing this side of him

“you dont have to do this to them,,,,,you can just talk”

sicheng laughs and you hear the way his voice can get so so malicious when he wants it to be that way

“talk? you are a diplomat, you think things will settle with a talk. it’s not like that. and it’s especially not like that when you’re a young prince who everyone treats like a child.”

he says the last word with anger, an anger that even sends a chill down your spine

and you want to get up but you’re too scared of the knife and what will happen

but then sicheng brings it up to the light and lets it gleam, you notice that the blade isn’t even that sharp

“i don’t kill people or even harm them that much,,,,,,,i just take what my country needs.”

he sighs and you still watch the knife,,,,,the blade is cut of ornate colors of the country’s flag

it’s obviously old, expensive - it probably should be in a museum and not in sicheng’s hands right now

but you also,,,,,,cant blame him like you wanted to

you thought he was just playing some kind of twisted sick game,,,,,,but his reasoning is understandable 

afterall ,,,,,,,, you know nothing about the stress of a young prince - of the ruling of a whole country

you just sometimes have to represent one

you get up, with some new found courage and sicheng watches you

“are you going to go tell the newspapers of what i really am?”

you shake your head

“i know it’d be foolish to do that.”

sicheng grins, showing off the one sharp canine of his, another trait you’d come to observe about him

he pushes himself off the wall and comes closer to you

you want to say “im scared” because you know he’ll back off if you do,,,,,he’s not a monster or a maniac 

but you let him get close and you let him touch a strand of your hair 

and you even let him lean in and whisper against the shell of your ear that if you’re going to keep his secret he needs to repay you back

and you say a soft, “no, it’s fine.”

but then you meet his eyes and you wonder,,,,,what is he doing,,,,,it’s over,,,,,,you know his secret

you know the second life of sicheng

this sicheng is not warm, he’s not welcoming or in anyway the prince of a country in his sleek white uniform and promises of peace

he’s someone who pries on people and steals there accomplishments and benefits for his country’s gain - and in a way his own gain

and yet he hasnt harmed you

he had pinned you down, shown that he could overpower and manipulate 

but he hadn’t laid a finger on you in any offensive way and you think that all this time he’s done so much to keep you close

even before you came up with the bullshit gold story

so why?

why was he still so close to you? and why were you letting it happen after seeing this side?

none of your questions are answered, absolutely none until sicheng whispers

“no, i must repay you and i must ensure you keep my secret. i know how i can do it, too.”

you feel some kind of heat pulsate through your blood

your hearts racing your minds on fire

there’s a knife still in his pocket,,,,,,he’s got the upper hand

“h-how?”

you breath and sicheng encloses his arms around you, his touch on you is like a feather

so light, like he might break you if he holds you too close

“im going to seal it away, are you ready?”

you tilt your head, not even in a half nod but to accept what you know is coming 

and you let prince sicheng kiss you

you let him seal away this side of him in your memory, never to be spoken of again 

md3 watches Given ep1

...

Maybe it's because I’m having a bad day, or maybe my distaste for most abrasive Romance genre tropes is showing.  But I did not have good reactions.  If I didn’t get spoiled on how good this series will eventually get, I probably wouldn’t continue.  Gawd I’m impatient for this to get good.

Mafuyu is sweet though.  ^___^

8:26 PM 9/27/2019

I'm going to watch Given.  After today, I'm too tired and defeated to do anything more ambitious than react to anime. ;_;

And this morning I watched some clips that suggested Mafuyu's tragic past?  I"m really hoping his childhood friend/boyfriend didn't dump him.  They both seemed so nice and in love.  Then again, if his boyfriend died that would also be very sad.  But at least it's not indirectly saying that Mafuyu was worth dumping.  He seems like such a sweet, fragile kid.  

given Episode 1 – Boys in the Band

"I'm not lonely."  I know it's a cliche now for an anime character to try to convince themselves of this with internal monologue, but it's still effectively sad and still pulls the heart-strings.  ;~;

Uenoyama is too sleepy to eat lunch and his friend asks him to play basketball instead of get bread?  omg

Everyone is sure staring at Uenoyama as he walks by though.  I wonder why.

Jeeze!  I don't know why Uenoyama has to be so upset!  What was Mafuyu doing that was even creepy anyway?  Not talking?  Sure, its more common for an anime character to leave when they've discovered they're in someone else's usual nap/hideout spot, but Mafuyu was nice about making room for Uenoyama.  And now he's throwing a tantrum about getting Mafuyu's hopes up and his naptime interrupted?  Careful or you're going to start hitting my real pet peeves and I'll drop this series.  

He just asked a stranger to teach him now to play guitar...Okay?  Well, that escalated quickly.  ^^;  

Thank you, opening theme.  I feel like I need some music to really set the tone---no, just get into this story/world.  I'm the kind of person who hates that Netflix skips opening/ending themes.

jfc  I know I've had a moderately bad day, but this series is just starting and it hit ANOTHER one of my pet peeves?!  Siblings who are nasty to each other?!  Ug.  If it weren't for all the fandom hype over this show and the nice clips I've seen of it beforehand, I would give up on it right now.  Or maybe I need to stop pausing every few seconds to write and dwell on the bad stuff, and just watch the show.  Ok, I'll try that.  I want to record all my initial thoughts for this series if I end up getting deep into the fandom, but rumination isn't good, after all.  Maybe all the annoying parts will go faster if I don't pause to react to all of them.  

"Now that I think about it, I guess I almost cired when I first broke a string, too, becuase I thought I'd broken my guitar"  Aw, Uenoyama is showing empathy.  (Finally.)  

See?  Mafuyu is reasonable.  He paid Uenoyama back for the strings and everything.

I think watching clips and hearing the fandom chatter before actually watching this series was a mistake.  I've been immune to spoilers for most of my life, but they've been starting to actually hurt my viewing in these past few years.  But it's not like when the shock of character deaths were dulled by knowing beforehand, with Madoka Magica.  This time, it's more like I'm _impatient_ to get to the good parts I saw before.  

So Mafuyu is stalking him now?  Now that I think about it, all those BL manga I used to read were quirky like this, huh?  ...Really???

I should have mentioned this before, but this background music is a little odd. It's like it doesn't quite match the tone of this very solid, real-feeling animation.  

But if he's a total newbie, he won't be able to tell the difference between a "godly performance" and a mediocre one!

"Something cool".  LOL  ^-^

OMG are they totally just riffing?  That's pretty cool.  ^___^

"Uecchi"?  Is this in Kansai?  LOL  

This guilt Uenoyama keeps dwelling on is really helping make him a sympathizable character.  

"Uesama"?  LOL

I'm glad Mafuyu tired the school's music club and that his reason for returning to Uenoyama's band was that he was much cooler.  I'll buy that reasoning.  

What is this exploision effect?  I know the animation in this series so far looks great, like they threw lots of money at it, but wow...  Was it supposed to look cheesey on purpose?  

Well, this ending theme is soothing and nice.  

But I'm not caught by this series.  So far, the primary couple has proven so be one half too angry, kinda mean, and plain grumpy to me.  And the other half is so sweet and fragile seeming, that I just feel sorry when he gets yelled at.  I feel like Mafuyu is just Uenoyama's punching bag, even if his actions are driving Uenoyama crazy.  Why does he have to over-react?  

After a month or so of being tempted to watch this series, I finally gave in today because I couldn't wait to get to answering the questions of those tragic backstories I saw some clips and spoilers of.  And maybe I'll stick around to get my answers.  But I can't say I like this series in and of itself so far. Mafuyu is sweet and intriguing, but I don't feel attached to Uenoyama so far.  I kind of want to watch something else, or just browse through the AkiRyu fandom instead.  ...In fact, I will do that.  No need to jump into ep2.  

But when I come back to this series, I should react to it like a movie.  Just watch it without stopping, then write whatever still stuck out to me enough to have inherently gotten a reaction out of me, at the end.  I shouldn't just stop every few minutes to write.  

Maybe the thing that bugs me with Given ep1 is that I prefer couples who actually like each other enough to instantly click.  At least get along together.  I abandoned my favorite shoujo manga circle because they kept insisting on this "falling in love with the person who annoys the heroine (the most)" cliche.  I generally tell people that I don't like Romance genre movies because so many of them revolve around couples who confuse friction and adrenaline for "passion" and attachment.  But that never sat well with me. I never liked the "argue/hate someone so much, you don't realize you're in love with them", as my aunt once put it.  Even the couples I like which might be mistaken for that trope actually arne't as abrasive as many filler episodes would caricature them to be: Ranma/Akane, Ichigo/Rukia. Maybe that's why I'd prefer to browse the AkiRyu fandom right now.  They actually enjoy spending time with each other!  From the first time they met!  ...I dunno...  Maybe Given will get very good, very fast, after this first ep.  Lots of BL manga had rough starts but turned into great series of scenes that were emotionally moving to experience, once the initial situation that contrived the couple to get together, is settled.  Why wouldn't Given be the same?  

I probably shouldn't post this reaction to my blog.  Or maybe have no tags, so the fandom won't come after me.  I don't need flames for my flippant venting that will likely change drastically once I get further into the series and find what I liked about those spoiler clips.  

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The more time passed after watching Given ep1, the more I tried to use everything else to TRY to figure out why I wasn’t in love with Given (yet). 

6:43 PM 9/28/2019

TOBE!!! CAROLE & TUESDAY EPISODE 14 LIVE REACTION 

by MemoryNK

https://youtu.be/58OI_yufctQ

OMG THIS SHOW!  Just a few clips, edited, talked over by commentary, and I'm already freaking half-crying!  GODDAMNIT!  ;o;  Carole's dad found her, he and his wife wanted to keep her but the wife died and he was unjustly sent to prison, and now he's still on parole and has to return to prison or his parole restrictions on Earth or something---!  ;O;!!!!!!!!!!!  THIS SHOW---! And Carole takes it as hope and something to look forward to, vs typical cliche drama contrived anger!  This show goes for the heart-felt warmth, instead of the contrived anger drama! ;U;  I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!  

Carole and Tuesday season 1 part 2 doesn't release on Netflix for probably a few more MONTHS.  Maybe it was a mistake to see spoilers.  But I've been seeing songs from season 1 part 2 all this time.  But actual scenes, spoiling the story...I went too far.  Maybe I shouldn't have.  

But only because I want to note my emotional reactions.  Especially when I'm having such trouble getting into Given.  I need to now if Carole & Tuesday were able to grab me from ep1, first intros of the main characters,...Because Given is failing hard on that!  And I want to know if I'm justified in not being as attached to Given, or if I was just having a bad day (I wasted all yesterday on that horrible cooking that even made me physically ill ~___~;!)  

6:49 PM 9/28/2019

I came in from my daily walk and had to immediately watch Carole & Tuesday becasue while I was walking, Mafuyu's song from Given was stuck in my head, even though I didn't even know it well.  I started daydreaming about Tuesday and Mafuyu hanging out, jamming, etc., and I couldn't listen to my podcasts while walking anymore.  I had to switch to Carole & Tuesday.  

7:21 PM 9/28/2019

https://mysticdragon3md3.tumblr.com/post/187499907672/md3-watches-carole-tuesday-season-1-part-1

Re-reading my reactions to watching Carole & Tuesday for the first time, I'm surprised how little I say about their characters (until much later episodes).  I wonder if it means they were so agreeable that I didnt' have to rant anything about them.  Because in contrast to my reactions to watching Given ep1 for the first time, I just kept going on and on about their characters---how mean Uenoyama was.  ...omg...I think I don't like Uenoyama.  I mean, I LOVE Carole, and Tuesday is really sweet and cute, but I never mentioned anything about that in my reactions from earlier this month until like halfway through season1 part1.  In fact, a few minutes ago was the first time I reblogged some Carole & Tuesday art with tags like "#my girls" and "i love them!".  I'd hate to say it, but maybe I only realized how good of characters Carole & Tuesday are, because of how abrasive Uenoyama's introduction has been for me.  I mean, I always thought Carole's brash confidence was cool and Tuesday was sweet, but I guess I was taking it as a given, instead of something extraordinarily rare.  ...I'm trying really hard to get into Given, you guys.  All the clips and spoilers I've seen and the music have been good.  But it's becoming clear to me now that Uenoyama is a barrier.  I used to read a lot of BL and those protagonists do tend to be really quirky or always upset to end up in the plot situation for comedic sakes...But when will the series get to Uenoyama being stupidly in love with Mafuyu so I can laugh at him for being an idiot around him?  I'm impatient over here, especially when I usually drop a series as soon as it centers too much on an abrasive character.  There are 20+ anime series every season and 4 seasons every year, and I've got a big backlog of anime to watch, so I can afford to be picky---I _HAVE TO_ be picky.  

6:18 PM 9/29/2019

I've been really bugged by how I have not enjoyed the first episode of Given.  Maybe I got my expectations too high, after watching it because of so much hype over it, and watching spoiler clips that were really intriguing.  But what really gets me, after having finally seen ep1, is that Uenoyama is not very likable!  Why does Mafuyu even like him?!  Well, Mafuyu is a sweethear and will forgive anything, ti seems...I think the problem is that _I_ as an audience member see no reason to like Uenoyama yet.  Why would I want this jerk to continue getting angry as adorable, frail Mafuyu?  Mafuyu doesn't deserve that!  ;o;  

The really bad thing are the comparisons.  I've been re-watching "Carole and Tuesday" repeatedly this month, and though it's not (blatantly) a romance story, there's just so much reason to want to see these 2 characters always be together.  I love watching them, they enjoy each other's company, they are nice to each other equally,---!  And I just realized that Given's Uenoyama and Mafuyu are similar to Kageyama and Hinata from Haikyuu.  Granted, I didn't really get into the KageHina ship (it just had some cute doujins that I personally thought were too dissimilar to the canon characters for me to think of the ship while I watched Haikyuu), but I LIKED the dynamic between Kageyama and Hinata.  WHY?  All Kageyama did was yell and treat Hinata badly whenever he could!...No...That's not true.  The story made certain from the very beginning to establish Kageyama as a more noble person inside, even though he was just so oblivious to how humans should interact, he only knew how to give commands and yell as a frustrated setter/commander.  Kageyama's first personality-establishing scene was him saving Hinata from bullies and proving that he doesn't approve of low, bully-like behaviors.  And I think pegging Kageyama, from the beginning, as seeking penance and his angsting over his regrets, the the whole first season culminating with him learning how to properly share bonds with people vs bossing them around, and thus finally remedying his past regretted behaviors---It all really turned and angry, easily annoyed character that could have become abrasive, into a character of sympathy.  (Plus, he was cool at what he does.  Which is generally another trait a main character nees to garner audience respect.)  So why couldn't Uenoyama do that from the beginning too?!?!  >O<!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  It's driving me crazy!  I was supposed to like Given!!!!!!!!!  I _WANT_ to like Given!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ;O;!!!  

3/29/17 7:42 pm

Sunday night, the 26th, i had the most traumatic experience of my life. As far as i know, ryan and i ate edibles, and I hallucinated and freaked out. Now im not sure where i am. We were going to the panic at the disco concert in san diego. We decided it would be fun to try edibles beforehand so we could have fun and be dancey during the show. We got hooked up with one of his friends and went to our hotel near the stadium. It was around 7:00 when we started eating from a 250 milligram edible cookie. Korova i think? We finished the entire thing but i think i had more. At least 150 mgs to myself. It wasnt hitting yet until we ubered to the arena. We were standing in line when i started to feel it. I was feeling giggly and started having trouble walking. I was mildly nervous that we wouldnt get in the stadium. We kept walking. I was laughing a lot and hanging on ryan. We got into the arena after trouble with the stairs. They checked our tickets. We were walking left towards section R. Then i remember walking down the stairs towards the 5th row. I remember feeling excited and kept saying "baby look how close we are!" Eventually we got to our seats and sat down. We were so close and saint motel was starting to play. Then everything started to go wrong. I was noticing that the high was too much. I remember leaning over to ryan and saying "this was such a mistake" and "im so sorry" and "are you okay". The bass from the music throbbed through my body in a really uncomfortable way. But i wasnt scared of hallucinating, just that i was too high and wanted to throw up and get water. At one point i remember the woman next to me ask "who is playing?" And i said saint motel and she said "no, whos playing now?" And i kinda stared at her for a bit and said i dont know. I was becoming dizzy as the high was nearing the peak. The room blurred together and i tried to stay calm. I remember being able to clap when songs were done and wave my arms with the crowd. A couple times i whispered to ryan that the lead singer of saint motel looked like an Australian from the crocodile hunter. The noise was very loud and at one point i managed to get into my purse and put one ear plug in my left ear, which was closer to the amp. I sat plainly while my whole world started changing. The thing that triggered my bad trip was the singer from saint motel saying something like whos ready for panic at the disco? I froze and asked ryan did they say misterwives? He said no i dont think so. Then i started getting panicked that misterwives wouldnt be playing because i was excited to see them again with ryan. I started frantically trying to figure out if they were here or not, and checked the tickets with no luck. This made me feel terrified that the show we were attending wouldnt have the band he wanted to see. Then i remember looking around the stadium and feeling confused. I started to forget things like where we were, why we were there, who we were, and the people around us. I became terrified and uncomfortable. I remember my vision changing and the whole world becoming more geometric. The singer from saint motels face became a plain triangle as he moved around (kinda looked like phineus and pherb.) and then i started to forget ryan. His face became a plain oval with his features, i think his freckles disappeared. I was dizzy searching the room for something familiar and coming up empty handed, began to scream. I have this awful memory that keeps coming back of my looking at ryan and around the room and just screaming. This hard terrified scream like nothing id ever produced or heard before. during this, what id consider a panic attack, i felt my memories dissipating. I forgot who i was; my name, face, personality, anything. The image of myself also changed in this hallucination to be more geometric and didnt resemble a person. I questioned reality, and what i was, or how i was cognizant. I questioned who ryan was and where i was and what was happening to me. I remember staring at him for what felt like hours trying to remember him and what was happening. I remember saying "youre ryan, right?" And he said yes and that he loved me and was trying to calm me down but i was shaking my head and then i fell into a screaming fit again and pushed him away but also cowered in his lap. I just feel haunted by the sound of me screaming out of such terror, and that i forgot everything that made up my reality. I have a couple memories of asking ryan who i was and what i looked like and as he described me (red hair, green eyes etc) i tried building my face in my head. I looked at several things around the room that were becoming constant again, like the writing on the saint motel poster and the flowers on my pants and ryans face. I dont remember much about coming out of hysteria except when saint motel ended. I remember the house lights being on in the arena and groups of people moving. I watched the group next to us like the boy in the green sweater and the women with leather pants and blonde hair. I was actively trying to ground myself in this reality even though i wasnt sure it was real. Part of me felt and still kind of feels that the trip was like traveling through dimensions and i just stopped here for some reason and had to make the most of it to survive because the screaming fit was more painful than just being uncomfortable in my skin. At some point i turned to ryan and said we need to get water. Then he was walking up the steps and out of my view. I looked around me at the faces of people seated near me and tried to figure out if all this was in my head or if i really did scream like that. Eventually he got back with water and i drank and ate some of a power bar from my purse. I wasnt getting better, but i had some know-how that eating and drinking would help. We did this for a while and then i said we need to go to the hospital and he said ok and walked away again, this time lower to a guy in red and then off to the right, away from the stage. I watched him go and got confused but was restraining myself from freaking out again. I thought i might as well see how this goes for now because my only other option was falling through the dimensions and screaming again. Eventually he came back and said we had to uber (i later found out that he went to a paramedic and they just told him to uber) so he said we had to go outside. He was sitting next to me holding my bag and i stared at my pants for a long time and felt like i was pulling the universe closer to me, like pulling in reality, sucking it up so i could walk. I gathered myself enough to stand and say excuse me as i passed the people next to us. I remember gripping the railing but not really climbing stairs. And then next thing i remember is being on my hands and knees on the sidewalk outside the arena throwing up. I held my hair and so did ryan and then he was throwing up too. A girl asked if we were okay and some guy gave us a water bottle. I dont remember getting up but i remember walking through grass to a street where an uber picked us up and took us to the hotel. The next thing i remember is throwing up in the hotel bathroom. We took a shower and layed on the bed. I watched ryan sleep because he twitched a couple times and it scared me. I dont remember much else but driving home and then being in my room. I had another panic attack yesterday (28th) when i woke up from a xanex nap and then was crying and started screaming and i told ryan to get my mom who sat me on the floor and comforted me. I feel really disconnected from reality. Since the experience i feel like i know logically what happened (ate edible, bad trip, hallucinations, and now just being shaken up) but theres also this voice telling me that none of this is real and that i dont feel 100% comfortable or familiar with anything. Sometimes i have moments of clarity like the first night back at home (27th) when my mom, richard, and shane were in the room with ryan and i and everyone was talking and laughing and i felt calmer. I had a xanex before bed each night and an extra one yesterday after i had the panic attack I just feel really disconnected. I feel like i dont know what reality is or who i am or any of these people or anything and its terrifying. Im scared that i wont get back to normal and that i just have to adjust. I feel like i ruined my life with this one mistake. I dont know what to do but the panic makes me scared for myself. Scared i could hurt myself or even kill myself. I feel like i just want all this to stop so thats where my mind goes. Feeling panicked and anxious and afraid and dissociative and unfamiliar. Feels like the definition of psychosis minus the more schizophrenic stuff (no voices, no fbi stuff). Scared i will never be the same again

im,,, my parents decided to separate, on friday while my dad was working my mother went to the police, told them my dad left and abandoned us, and called him to tell him that if he ever came back to the house she would call the police. She also told everyone in her family that my big brother was concerned with my dad alcoholism, even thought he never said that. He always defended him, because everytime my dad wanted to drink a beer or something my mom would get super mad. The problem is that she also told a friend of hers, who told everyone, and now everyone my dad works with thinks he is an alcoholic. On saturday she took us to get icecream, and even told me to invite my boyfriend, which i did. When we reach the place a random man speaking english sat with us, he worked with my mom apparently. He also works in wallstreet and was very very interested in making money. now i have a few theories 1)she invited that man beforehand to meet us. He didnt just appeared. But why wouldnt she tell us? 2)she is dating that man, which is why she invited everyone to meet him 3)that man is the one who put the idea in her head to force my dad to sign a document which would gift her the house for free, force my dad to give her more money that he earns, give her the cappacity to change the doccument to her liking without my dads consent, and not allowed him to visit my little sisters, who are still minors.  i mean, he pays my university, and the house bills, and the groceries, and the maid, and who knows what else. By ruining him you are ruining his children too, but unless you have a bf who works in wallstreet why would you care about money troubles right? Im so confused, why would she lie to the police, her family, her children, her friends, why does she wants to ruin my dads life?