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fairlyang · 3 months

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Summer Lovin’ 🕷️

in which you have a little summer romance fling

w/c: 3.9K

pairing: greaser!miguel x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. exhibitionism, making out, sucking on tits, eating out, fingering, praise kink, blowjob. mention of face sitting, overstimulation, 69, eating pussy underwater (LMAO), spilling the tea x2

notes: reposting my precious baby, my fav, my grease au series!! might post part two after this idk but I’m writing part 3 and I’m excited :D 🤝🏼

part two — part three

You had spent almost your entire summer in California, and being from the Midwest you took advantage of the hot weather and beaches.

You had stayed at your aunt's house along with your parents but not your older sister who apparently didn't wanna "burn to a crisp" but you didn't mind. In fact you loved feeling the sun on your skin and spent most of your days on the beach.

Your sister had teased you about a summer fling and maybe you'd meet someone but won't be able to bring them back. You called bullshit and said you weren't out searching for that kinda thing.

That was until you met him.

Miguel O'Hara.

One day you were reading a book on the beach under an umbrella when a guy came up to you and you were a little shell shocked looking at him. He was gorgeous. So handsome.

He asked what you were reading which made you laugh because he did not look like the reading type. He wore a black leather jacket and his hair slicked back, you can imagine reading is not one of his things.

And who the hell wears a leather jacket in the hot weather?

But nonetheless you still answered and he just nodded along probably pretending he knew what you were talking about.

"Well I came over because I thought you were gorgeous." He says giving you a wide smile, showing off his crooked pearly whites.

You chuckle and close your book, leaving it on your lap, "oh I bet a guy like you says that to all the girls." You say playfully rolling your eyes and he shakes his head.

"Only to the really special ones." He responds sweetly and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

And with that you were sold.

Almost too easy.

But it felt real.

Genuine.

You had spent the first three weeks of August with Miguel. Splashing around, building many sand castles, playing volleyball. Tanned while getting to know each other, had little picnic dates on the beach.

It was so surreal to you and he was such a gentleman.

But on the third week was when he was more flirty than usual, always touching you subtly like grabbing your hand or having his arm around your waist.

He would even twirl you around as you walked along the sand which just had you laughing as you tried not to fall.

One specific time he wrapped his arms around you as you watched the sun set, the waves lightly hitting your feet. He gently trailed his fingers along your waist making you turn to look at him, he was already looking at you, with a mischievous look on his face if anything.

He then leaned down, letting his forehead lean against yours, "you're so beautiful."

You smile and feel your body grow warm, "you're not too bad yourself Miggy."

He then let go of you and stood in front of you, bringing a hand up to gently cup your cheek. His eyes were sparkling and he just looked so handsome up close.

The pink, orange, and yellow rays of the sun hitting the sides of your faces as he looked down at your lips. He couldn't help himself.

And he knew he'd never see you again after this considering you'd have to fly back home so what's a little fun on your last week here?

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer which only makes him chuckle, "no patience huh?" He teased and you shrugged.

"We only live once... and we might as well while we're young.." you say and lean up, pretty eyes boring into his.

He was quite shocked that you were the one making the moves but he wanted to be the one to actually do it.

So he did.

He leaned in and kissed you gently, you instantly kissed back and you swore you could feel fireworks erupting in your stomach. It felt so right. So nice.

He nipped on your bottom lip to which you then return as you feel his hands exploring your body. You felt them snake their way down your back then staying by your lower back.

Then you felt them slowly trickling lower to which you had to pull away and shake your head, "eager hm? No patience huh?" You mock and he snickers.

"Couldn't help myself doll." He murmurs and pecks your lips softly.

You melted back into his arms and kissed back before he pulled away and then leaned in to peck your lips again. He repeated this until you burst into fits of giggles which had Miguel ignoring the effect it made on him and pulled away, grabbing you by the hand as you went back to walking on the sand.

Things only progressed throughout your last week.

He snatched more kisses from you until the sun was gone and you had to go home.

The next day he had you on his lap and making out with you while his hand was trailing around your thigh. Only testing the waters.

But also playing around with you.

You were a good girl, not ever looking for trouble like this. But it seemed to have found its way to you.

And you couldn't help but want to open yourself up more to him, maybe not just kisses.

At least those were your thoughts when you were in bed, daydreaming about him.

You met up again on the third day and decided to maybe go a little further. Just a tiny bit.

So you were on his lap again, making out when you start to slowly grind yourself on him. He moaned into your mouth and it only made you grow more excited but you didn't want to push yourself too much.

And he was okay with that.

His hands were on your waist helping you move as his tongue explored your mouth. Gotta love a man that can multitask.

You moved faster and could feel his bulge grow hard beneath you. It made your skin feel hot and deep down you wanted to take it forward but also knew you probably shouldn't.

"Miguel-" you breathed out and pulled away but he latched his lips on your neck, kissing harshly against your skin.

You bite your lip and he made you continue your movements as he hummer onto your skin. "I- I-I think- maybe we s-should st- fuck-" you stutter and moan as he sucks on your neck then pulls away peppering the hickey in kisses.

"What were you saying doll?" He asks and kisses down your chest.

That day you decided to wear a bikini top with some shorts, clearly he appreciated that right now as he kissed your cleavage, bringing a hand up to squeeze your left breast. You moan and feel your eyes flutter, already losing your train of thought.

"W-We shouldn't do this here-" you breathe out but it didn't matter, he was already pulling your bikini top up.

"Miguel!" You squealed trying to cover yourself and looking around but it was vacant.

"There's nobody out here, you know we've been having this side of the beach all to ourselves for weeks." He murmurs and gently moves your hands away.

"So beautiful." He murmurs before squeezing both tits and latching on to your left nipple.

You bit your lip and held onto his head, you couldn't even blame yourself. You knew you wanted this. And that heat going straight to your core was the proof.

He pulled away and immediately sucked on your right breast, pinching your left nipple making you shift on his lap. He moaned against you and you almost forgot he was already hard. Almost.

It was kind of hard to forget since you were directly on him.

So you began to slowly grind on him again making him groan as you moved your hips back and forth. He pulled away and breathed out, "Just like that angel."

Your face flushed and you put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as you continued your pace. "Good, good girl." He murmurs before sucking on your left breast, leaving yet another mark.

A moaned escaped your lips and you can see a smirk on his when he pulled away. He looked up at you and pecks your lips before pulling away and taking you off his lap and setting you to his right side on the shared blanket.

He then moved down your body, hands already undoing the button and zipper of your shorts. You lift your ass up and he slides your shorts off setting them to the side.

He then gets between your legs, kissing and squeezing your thighs and he neared where you so desperately needed him. He kissed your left inner thigh then moved to the right side to do the same.

He then went down and looked at the soaked spot on your panties, nearly drooling. "Look at you doll, already so wet." He murmurs looking up at you before leaning in and leaving the softest kiss on your clit.

You moaned and bucked your hips forward but his strong arms kept you in place which only made you whine. But he didn't care.

He was going to go at his own pace. Just like you did when you were on his lap.

Even if he technically was making you a move a bit.

But still.

He gently moved your panties to his right side as you squirmed, whining above him but he ignored you to pay all his undivided attention to your gorgeous sopping cunt. "Oh baby this all for me?" He murmurs and you feverishly nod.

He tuts and smirks looking up at you, "such a dirty girl. Thought you were a sweet innocent good girl?" He teases only making you grow more wet by the second.

"God you're so perfect." He coos before diving full on in to your cunt, immediately getting a taste of how sweet you are.

You moan and bring a hand down to pull his closer already. You needed him so badly and didn't want to waste more time.

And he could tell.

He didn't mind, given how he started lapping at your folds and his nose practically buried in your clit. "Miguel-“ You moan out and he hums sending a vibration of pleasure curse through your body.

You look down at him and buck your hips forward, this time he doesn't stop you, letting you grind your perfect cunt against his mouth. His mouth went up and down your slit, slurping up your juices as you continued your melody of pretty moans for him.

He looked into your ears as he came up and flicked his tongue on your clit earning himself more moans. He brought his hands up and intertwined them with yours as you bucked your hips against his face, grinding yourself against his tongue. "Shit- feels so good Miggy." You moan and he hums against your cunt.

He moans and lets go of your left hand, bringing his right hand to start teasing your hole with the tip of his finger. He pulls away, lips glistening from your slick making you smile as he licks your arousal off. "Need more doll?" He coos and you nod.

"Yes- yes please Miguel." You whimper and he nods, shoving his middle finger inside you.

You groan and your walls clench against his digits as he starts fucking you hard. "Oh fuck!" You moan and grip your right hand against his.

"Feel good angel?" He asks softly and you nod with an almost drunken smile.

"So pretty baby." He mutters and then slides in his second finger immediately pounding his digits into you.

You let out a loud moan and try to close your legs but he quickly let go of your hand and spread them open. "Too much already doll?" He mocks making you whimper.

His fingers were much thicker than yours and you haven't had any other fingers inside you besides your own. At least in a long time.

"Look at you taking them so well." He says and looking at your cunt just sucking his fingers in.

He then shuts up and brings his mouth back to your clit, tongue flicking on your nub while his mouth sucks harshly. Your body was getting hotter and your legs were shaking as you kept them wide open for him. "Fuck!"

His praises only continued and drove your mind wild, and just like that you found out you had a praise kink. And he used that to his advantage.

Mumbling as many praises to you seeing just how much more wet you'd get for him as well seeing how long it'd take for you to just cum off his praise.

And it didn't take long for you to feel your orgasm approach before quickly taking over and your climax hit as he was calling you his good girl.

You let out cries as you came and clenched on his fingers, entire body shaking as he fucked you slowly letting you ride your high.

As soon as your breathing calmed down and he slipped his fingers out of you, you sat up and got him to sit in your position. "C'mon your turn pretty boy." You coo and he chuckles but moves so anyway.

And without another word you laid down between his knees and undid his shorts as fast as you could. You slid them off his legs and left them on top of yours before slipping his cock out of his boxers. You left those on and just started stroking him.

You lean in and lick his tip, tasting his precum and swallowing every drip then spit on the tip and letting it drip down before stroking him again. He let out a shaky breath and you looked up at him with innocent eyes that drove hims absolutely insane. "You look so pretty." He murmurs making you squeeze your thighs together.

You then took him in your mouth, slowly bringing your head down at first not thinking you'd be able to take all of him considering how thick he was but you were slowly getting there. Only took a few minutes to take half of him before he put his hands on your head and made you take him deeper.

You were gagging against him which only made him thrust his hips into your mouth making you take all of him. You closed your eyes already feeling them fill with tears but you fought through it and took him all the way feeling his happy trail hit your nose.

You pulled away and gasped, panting but then slipped him back into your mouth and letting him do it again but for a longer period of time.

Soon enough you felt him twitch in your mouth as he was deep in your throat. You closed your eyes, breathed through your nose and prayed for the best.

He groaned and his legs shook beneath you as he shoots his load down your throat. You swallowed as much as you could but it was too much so you pulled away and let it fall in his thighs. You start stroking him slowly which makes him whine as his cock twitched at the sudden contact but yet more cum continued shooting out.

"Oh fuck!" He moans as you stroke him and go down to clean it up with your tongue.

You made sure to lick off every drop before finally taking your hand off him and taking notice he was breathing heavily. "Holy shit-" he mutters and grabs your face, bringing you in for a kiss.

You kiss back and he slides his tongue into your mouth, getting a taste of himself which only made you weak in the knees.

He then pulled away and gave you a sheepish grin, "that was- do you really have to leave?" He says and you laugh.

"Sadly. But I still have a few days left!" You say and he chuckles before bringing you into his chest as you both looked up and see a few twinkling stars above you.

And you used those days up to the best of your ability.

Now you told him the one exception was you didn't want to fuck, not there at least.

So the following day he had you wear a dress and made you sit on his face. And he made sure to emphasize "sitting down" because he wanted to feel all your weight on him.

You were scared you'd crush him but he said that'd just be the most badass way to die which only made you slap his arm. But you ended up sitting on his face and it was the best thing you'd ever tried.

You ended up like that for a good few hours before your poor pussy grew tired and you were just so overstimulated.

So you ended up making out until the sun set and you gave him a handjob as well.

The next day was your second to last day before you'd leave and he wanted to try out 69-ing to which you didn't complain about. He had already grown so use to eating you out and did not grow tired of it at all. And he loved hearing your moans, feeling your body shaking.

So he couldn't complain either.

That same day he had the brilliant idea of trying to eat you out underwater, you told him he'd actually die if he did that but he claimed he could hold his breath for a while.

Well it felt weird for both parties and he nearly drowned so that wasn't worth it. But you then stroked him while hiding behind a big rock then you got down to your knees so he could cum on your face.

And finally on your last day you sat next to each other and touched each other until you both came at the same time.

Prior to that you were just spending time together for the final time. He wanted you both to cum as the sun set. How romantic.

As you both got up and got dressed you sighed, sad that your little summer fling would come to an end.

And unfortunately never getting the chance to actually have him fuck you. But nothing lasted forever.

So after the final make out session you both pulled away breathless and you felt sad. But also happy it happened at all. And that you got to meet him.

"If it's meant to be I'm sure you'll get to go all the way in the future." You joked making him laugh and smile.

"Hopefully doll, I'm sure you feel absolutely amazing." He murmurs and you slap his arm before shrugging and giving him a sly wink finally walking away to never see him again.

Or so you think.

Your parents ended up giving you the grand surprise that you weren't actually leaving. You were moving to California.

And the reason your sister didn't come was because they actually gave her the house and her boyfriend was going to move in.

Why they didn't think of telling you before? Who knows but now you were gonna be leaving here and they made you enroll in the nearest university.

Somehow you got in just in time for classes to start to. You didn't have high hopes in seeing Miguel considering he'd told you a couple times he didn't really like university and wasn't really thinking about going back.

And you weren't sure in telling him you weren't going back after all. Especially considering you just had a couple good summer nights together.

So you didn't give it a second thought and just decided that's all it would be. A summer fling.

Not like you had much choice considering you didn't have any way of contacting him anyway.

You ended up going to your first day of uni and met two lovely girls outside who immediately helped you out. Frenchie and Sandy.

They were so sweet and led you to your classes, even having a few with both of them surprisingly.

You ended up having the same schedule layout and you all ended up going to the large dining hall to get something to eat.

You were then introduced to their other three girl friends, Rizzo, Marty, and Jan. Frenchie explained their little group were called the pink ladies which you thought was cute. They all had matching jackets as well.

Suddenly a girl named Patty comes along and the trio roll their eyes and groan. You pretend you don't notice and just take a bite out of the macaroni you got before she sat down next to you and started blabbing about who knows what.

Then Frenchie, a godsend angel, turned to you and asked you how your summer was.

"It was good! Spend most of my time at the beach. Might've met someone there..." you say and Patty beside you giggles but Rizzo just scoffs.

"Laying all your eggs in one basket? For some guy?" She asks and you shrug.

"He was... special." You say and she gives you a fake smile.

"There is no such thing hun." She says and you sigh looking at Patty. "It was so romantic."

On the other end of campus, on some bleachers, the self proclaimed 'T-Birds' were also asking Miguel how his summer went. But he had already told them that he met a girl.

But unlike your reminiscing of the romantic portion of your days together, his friends' immediate thoughts went to the more explicit portion...

"You don't wanna hear all the horny details." Miguel teases and all the guys gather around him yelling at him that they absolutely do.

So you both ended up spilling what you wanted to reveal except you kept your mouth shut on your exhibitions, not wanting to say too much about that.

On the other hand Miguel gave them every dirty detail possible. But for him he couldn't bring himself to tell his friends about the romantic side of how things went.

No way in hell was he going to admit those kinds of feelings in front of the guys. And mostly because they all just fucked around. Even though he knew he felt something besides just when things switched to the dirty side.

And thus you both reminisced on your favorite parts of your time together not knowing you were both on the same campus. Soon enough you'd both run into each other shocked but for now you stayed in your respective friend group.

As you walked out of the dining hall and to your last class Jan asked, "so what was his name?"

"Miguel O'Hara." You replied and her eyes widened as her and Marty burst into giggles but Rizzo smacks them to shut up.

"If you believe in miracles I'm sure Prince Charming will show up again some day. Somewhere unexpected." She says and gives you a smile.

"Think so?" You ask and she nods, grinning ear to ear as the other two girls follow her giggling their heads off.

"Oh you think so Frenchie?" You ask turning to the redhead and she avoids your gaze, awkwardly laughing and grabbing your arm.

She gives Sandy a look before Sandy links with your other arm, "how about we get to class yeah?" She says to you and you nod, questioning what the hell was going on.

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virgo-pisces · 10 months

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My 1st astro observations!!!

All observations are based on my personal experiences.

Even If I'm into astrology for more than 5 years, I'm not a professional astrologer.

English is not my 1st language.

Credit goes to @virgo-pisces

✨ As a Pisces Rising, I never get along well with Pisces Sun people - we always had some drama! I observed that I'm not alone, because my friends usually dislike people with the same sun sign as their rising sun!

✨Idk but maybe because Sagittarius is a ruler of 9th house - house of higher education, philosophy, exploring new horizons etc. - people with Sagittarius Mercury, which I have many around me, loves reading books! For example! My dad is a Sagittarius Mercury, and he loves books, especially this one's about history! Same as my Sagittarius Sun and Mercury friend, but maybe because of his Mercury sign being in 10th house - he loves books about finances!

✨Combability: Libra Venus and Capricorn Venus is a no, no : ( Even If both are Cardinal signs, and I saw so many couples with this Venus signs together - they really often end with broken heart, especially when Capricorn Venus is in Retrograde or bad aspected :{ - BUT, as we all know it depends on good aspects, and other placements too!

✨If you want amazing connection, and a friend with the same sense of humor - look for the same Mars sign as yours! I have Leo Mars, and every time when I have this specific cool vibe with someone, stress-free, very loose conversation - I knew that they probably have the same Mars as me! - works the same with Rising and Mars in the same sign!

✨Awww Aquarius, and Pisces placements in the same chart - Hello my delulu babies!!! - I'm the one too lol

✨BUT NGL! If you have 12th house placements, especially in Moon and Sun - you can manifest anything being delulu... Me and two of my friends... they have 12th in Sun, I have 12th house stellium, and sometimes we really should watch our mouths 🤐

✨HELLO??? Is there any PISCES VENUS MALE??? Like??? How to flirt with you, I'm so done... Why it's so hard to get to know y'all 😫 I met this Pisces Stellium guy (Moon, Venus and Mercury) - and I really don't know how to act, what I should do - like, NEVER T__T We have pretty good synastry, but Pisces Venus Female, and Male are so hard to read... basing on my experience ofc : ") I have Aries Sun/Pisces Venus sister, and she told me that she would never tell anyone that she likes him or her T__T, she can dream about someone but 🤐....maybe he is the same 😂 cuz he is an Aries Sun too : |

✨I don't know whyyy, but actually we choose people with the same sign as our 2nd, and 8th house @__@ I checked my Virgo Rising, and Capricorn Rising friend Badoo matches (lol) and they both had almost only Libra and Aries Sun guys (Virgo Rising), and 2nd one had Aquarius, and Leo Sun guys (Capricorn Rising)....and I'm the same.... I had all my dates only with Aries and Libra Suns 👀 Please, let me know If this applies to you!

Thats all for today pretty people!!! 🌸

May the Venus retrograde run peaceful for you! lol

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tojisun · 3 months

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idk if youve read soc/watched s&b but there's a bit where kaz (deeply traumatised, atheist) tells inej (deeply traumatised, religious) "no saint has ever watched over me, not like you have" right after she saves his life and sacrificies her chance at a good afterlife (in her mind) (mind you this happens at a church !!)

now i know she's a civilian and would never have to kill someone BUT i read that ghost x nun fic and felt this was them-coded

IVE HEARD OF THAT SERIES OMG!! i think i may have watched s&b tbh because my sister was obsessed w it for a while!!

and oh my god yes! absolutely! ok but bear with me here because my mind is sick n twisted n it wont stop feeding me ideas but-

what if this happened? or a version of it, at least?

!! military man simon ghost riley x nun!reader // naturally this touches on catholicism so do be warned

what if simon is so... broken and lost and confused with his interest with you that he imagines this to have happened; that he is so alone in his feelings that at night, there is a fulfilment of his desires in the prison of his own mind.

he dreams of you; dreams of the way you would do anything for him. dreams of the way you would choose him, no matter what turn. he dreams that you will learn how to spill blood all for him. all because you love him.

and sometimes these images take such a vivid shape that when simon wakes up, it takes a while for him to separate reality from the figments of his morbid infatuation. and he knows he should feel guilty. he knows that.

but sometimes, simon uses these poisonous dreams to come to you. to have an excuse to meet you. because when simon comes crawling back into your gentle fold, hunching his body into himself to make you fuss about him, simon can almost fool himself into thinking that you might like him back.

of course, not in the way he wants. but simon would like to think that maybe you might like him more than the others—that it is him who you cannot stop thinking about, worrying about, praying about.

and simon pretends that that is enough.

i need to be shot before this develops into a multi-series work because im itching to keep on writing about this 😭!!!

#anon #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #female reader #ask #suns #nun!reader

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promnightbinbaby · 4 months

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Princess And The Pea

This is a little story i thought about after i put my kids to bed lmao. i never really see Theodore stories in a darker kind of way.

ima Theo girly till the day i die but i reaaaalllly cant help but dulge into Mattheo fics every now and again so i thought why not do a little bit of a poly? maybe a three-way fuck session every now and again maybe idk. just bare in mind this is my first ever fic and it might not make sense but yanoe when your falling asleep and trying to do your scenario and no one is doing what they're meant to be doing? yeah just think of that when you read it cos that's how it feels. LOL.

So this is the beginning. i always love the ideo of a possesive boyf so i wanted to see how it would go down with a possesive boyf knowing someone wants his girl, and when i read poly fics i always wonder how it first starts? like surely it doesnt go smoothly.

i also gave reader a knickname cos i like using a knickname rather than y/n cos we dont know her.

ANYWAY welcome to my first shittty fic. enjoy also follow me or ill cry.

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Pairings: Theodore Nott x Reader with the starting of Mattheo riddle x Reader

Warnings: Violence/blood.

obvs aiming for more parts which will get quite dark.

This is sort of 2010 vibes era.

PART ONE.

The Beginning.

When me and Theodore Nott began seeing each other it was in the beginning of third year. We had been friends since we first met in first year while waiting for us to be sorted into our houses, and even though i was sorted into Ravenclaw and he Slytherin we remained friends, until one day i realised how bright his eyes are, how his laugh makes butterflies erupt in my stomach and how I'm never truly happy and always feel as I'm missing something unless I'm with him. That's when i realised i was and to this day completely devoted to Theodore Nott.

When i grew the bollocks to tell him it was the day he had been avoiding me all day and came barrelling in my dorm room declaring his love for me after having his first fire whisky.

Since then we have been inseparable.

But three years have past since then and even though me and Theo are as good as ever and forever feeling like we are in our honeymoon faze, it seems like happiness doesn't last forever. Its seems like we have a rock in our shoe, named Mattheo riddle.

It started at the weekly Slytherin party, we had all been downing shots of fire whisky and I bought shitty glens vodka because that’s the only alcohol I could afford to bring to school in the new year. Me Blaise, Pansy, Theo, Mattheo, Draco and Enzo was all sat around the fire place playing 3 truths and a lie, it had all been going swimmingly until it was Mattheo’s turn.

“Right, yes yes ha ha so funny that I ended up walking around with an extremely tanned face and pale body” Enzo had the palms of his hands tightly attached to his eyes reminiscing the moment his little sister had put tanning moisturiser in his normal tub of moisturiser all because he rejected her friend. But in his defence he was 15 at the time and his sisters friend has only just turned 11 the day before.

“Yes but I can remember it like it was yesterday, I can still picture Blaises face” Draco was actually struggling to put a sentence together, both from howling with laughter and because of how much of my vodka he had drank , even though he turned his nose up at a muggles drink the first time I brought it in 4th year but he’s the one that gives me the money for it at the end of every year, even though it’s the cheapest shittiest vodka you can buy but after convincing him to taste it by telling him it’s what all the muggle billionaires drink, I can’t give up the lie now.

“Mate when I first seen him i was ready to knock the shit out of him, I really thought he was doing blackface” Blaise said rolling his eyes with his spliff hanging out of the corner of his mouth, pansy who was under his arm with her leg draped over his crotch snatched it out of his mouth with her delicate fingers, she took a long drag “yeah it was around the same time Y/N showed him Kayne, you couldn’t blame Blaise for the way he reacted Enz you really did become obsessed with Kanye”

“The man’s a lyrical legend, I’ve told smell this before but I’ve written her in my will just because I can’t see my life without him now? You know? I can’t see my life before she showed me him, it’s like I didn’t exist, like I was a…nobody”

Everyone just sat there looking at Enzo after that, i slowly looked to my side to already see Theo looking at the other side of the room with a look of anger in his face, i couldn't really see who he was looking at as the room was so Smokey. "What you looking at bear?" Theo started to pull me closer by my side bringing me into is armpit, he brought his chin to rest on my head, in a way from anyone's point of view id of looked quite stupid, looking like i was getting a whiff of Theos armpit. But he was doing this in a way to be possessive, keeping me from being seen. "Nothing smell just keeping you close, don't want you disappearing on me." He said while pulling my skirt further down my thigh.

"its your turn Mattheo, three truths and a lie" Pansy said while blowing smoke out of the corner or her mouth.

As i turned my head to get out of Theos armpit, Mattheo suddenly sat up like he was snapped out of a trance, i heard Theo grunt next to me for a second but dismissed it.

"Hm okay, my first lie would be i slept with my second cousin, my second would be i jumped into the black lake and a mermaid tried to pull my boxers down, my third is in third year i stalked Mcgonagall for 3 months until i found out her routine of when and where she would turn into her cat form so then i could kidnap her and blackmail her until she let my bring my dog next year. My forth one would be that im so fucking hopelessly in love with my mates bird that i-"

And like that the room went into a frenzy, Theo jumped up and went straight over the table instantly punching Mattheo, Blaise and Draco are up before Mattheo even finished ready to pull Theo back and Enzo is sat giggling to himself "i knew it would come out tonight, the second Matt took the pills of the twins i just knew tonight would end like this." Pansys screaming at the boys to pull him back but every time Draco gets hold of Theo he lets out an animalistic noise and go straight for Matts face again.

"You fucking piece of shit, i bloody knew it. For the past 6 month ive been noticing you staring at her like you want to eat her" Another punch. " Do you honestly think id ever let you go near her mate, your a fucking dead man sitting." Theo gets his wank out of his pocket "AV-" Blaise pulls Theo by his hair until he's laid on the floor on top the broken glass. "smell come and fucking sit on your fella before he kills him please gorgeous." Theo starts trying to get up, "why the fuck is everyone taking this as an opportunity to flirt or declare their love to my girl what the fuck."

I slowly rise from my seat, i didn't realise id totally frozen in my seat not knowing what to do, i nod my head at Blaise and start moving towards him and Theo, i glance quickly at Mattheo to see he's already staring at me, he's soaked in blood with cuts all over his face and two black eyes appearing already.

i slowly sit on Theos crotch and hear a breath hitch behind me. Theo looks at me and i just smile and move my hair behind my ear as i bend down towards his neck to whisper in his ear. "Please don't do anything stupid, lets just go to bed Bear please I'm tired anyway this weeds making me feel like shit, lets go have a shower and watch one of them dodgy DVDs yeah?"

Theos looking at me as i sit up, hes angry but not even a glint of maliciousness in his gaze is directed at me though, it never has been, he will always redirect and blame his anger on someone else other than me. "Yeah..Yeah alright lets go, shit party anyway" He says as he sits up, id not noticed how the whole room was silent, even the 4th years was stood still watching the scene unfold.

Theo stood up grabbing my hand pulling me past Draco and Enzo, they patted him on back as we walked past and Draco gave me a half arsed smile and a wink. We was walking past Mattheo just as Blaise smacked him across the top of his head "fucking idiot always like to destroy things around you."

The tip of my foot had only just touched the first step up to Theos dorm when i heard Mattheo call my name.

"y/n, please just hear me out, don't walk away from me please." My breathe cut short in my throat when hearing my name, no one calls me by my name, not even the teachers nor Dumbledore i haven't heard my name since first year after the twins pulled a joke meant for Pansy but ended up stink bombing the toilet i was sat in while skiving, i couldn't get the smell out my hair for a fortnight.

Theo suddenly let go of my hand and went straight for Mattheo again but Enzo managed to get Infront of Theo before he got to him. "You really don't get it do you, Matt, i fucking swear on mine and smells future child's name i will fucking kill you if you even breathe near her after this mate. You knew this would happen, so if you really loved her" Theo said while pulling a face of disgust at him like saying that sentence was the worst thing he's ever had to say. " You wouldn't have said anything, because you know how i am with her, you knew i wouldn't let you near her again, so if you actually love her how you seem to think you do you wouldn't have mentioned a word just so you could still be near her. But no you fucked that up now dickhead." Theo turned slightly to face Enzo "he's a fucking tosser, he aint even fucking looking at me" he said then kissed his teeth turning to walk back to me.

And he was right, Mattheo hadn't even glanced at Theo, not in shame no. Because he hadn't taken his eyes off me.

I hadn't realised i was shaking until Theo came back to me and grabbed my chin. "Come on baby lets go yeah?" i slowly nodded my head and grabbed his hand, i must have grabbed my wand at some point because once i felt it i muttered "Scourgify" under my breathe and listened to the mess being cleaned up behind me, i couldn't let Draco threaten the third years into cleaning up the mess that Theo had left behind.

#fanfic #harry potter #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott x y/n #draco malfoy #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #enzo berkshire #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader

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filmbyjy · 1 year

Text

BE IN LOVE

PAIRING: park jongseong x fem!reader

SUMMARY: it was quite cheesy that you fell in love with your best friend’s brother. what could you do to prevent it? jay was someone who you knew was out of reach but you couldn’t help but crush on.

WARNINGS: cursing. maybe slight angst (?). other than that, there isn’t much.

WORD COUNT: 3.6K words

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo

a/n: this is a repost of a previous work I did that I loved! well repost from my old account that got deleted but yeah! I have also re-edited it so it’s better to read. I found the previous one a little cringy but idk if its cringy🙃 hope you enjoy it though!

A typical morning spent in your bed. perhaps, a little breakfast in bed because your parents were worried about your bruised eyes. Now, you must be wondering how you obtained this bruised eye?

[last week] It was any normal day at school and any normal day included physical education, or PE for short form. You didn’t particularly enjoy sports, you would rather be cooped up in your room for hours just watching some Netflix or Disney+, but of course, you couldn’t just escape from it since it was a required subject in high school.

“One point for us!” jake yells. Meet jake, the school’s soccer captain and one of the school’s heartthrobs. Right next to him was sunghoon and jay. Sunghoon was the second heartthrob of your school and he played basketball and badminton (on occasions). Finally there was jay, the third heartthrob and also a family friend.

Both of your families were close and you two have played around as kids before. Well i say kids but the only thing both of your parents did was let you play in the crib together and that’s about it. Growing up, the both of you never got to really talk to each other. Both were too shy to do so and plus...you liked to play alone. guess that’s where wanting to stay-in started from. Since then a natural distance came between both you and jay.

“Oh come on, are you really cheating jake?” Mia, your best friend, says.

“And what are you gonna do about it park mia?” jake yells. your dear best friend was also jay’s twin sister. the girl huffs.

“yah, park jongseong! would you care to smack the back of jake’s head?” and so jay does, he smacks the slightly younger boy. jake groans. Whatever Mia wanted, jay would comply because well...he wanted to be the great brother. Mia slings her arm around you.

“Don’t worry (name), jake isn’t going to bother us anymore.” she proudly says.

“WATCH OUT!” you turned around and a dodgeball comes flying onto your face. Your glasses flew across the room and you fell the ground, blacked out. Well at least Mia was right, jake didn’t bother you. rather a ball flew across and hit you.

[current time] Wasn’t a great thing honestly. Your mom popped her head at the door to check up on you. she brings in a plate of fruits for you.

“Here, eat this (name).” you sighed.

“Mom, it’s just a black eye. You’re acting as if i got hit by a car.”

“But sweetie, you’re injured.” she says.

“Mom, i’m fine.”

“Your glasses are broken too, we should get you a new pair.” she points over at your glasses that had shattered on impact.

“can i buy some contact lenses?”

2 years passed by, it was finally the last year of high school. Your class gathered in the classroom to surprise your form teacher, a small gesture to say ‘hey you survived teaching us for 4-5 years of your life. Hope you live well and we will see each other when we do’.

You were in your graduation gown, putting up the balloons. You felt the table shake but you knew you were great at balancing, well you thought before you fell into jay’s arms. Your eyes widened. You quickly got off jay and apologised. Mia smirks, she pulls you away from her twin brother.

“I saw what happened~so you and jay huh.”

you shoved her shoulder, “i don’t like your brother like that. besides, we are strictly just family friends.”

“oh shush, did you know our parents have this bet that you and jay would start dating?” she excitedly says.

“Whatever Mia. I have to go and grab the cake from the front gate, text me when Mr.Smith arrives alright?” Mia nods. While you went out though, Mia walks over to jay.

“Go with (name) now.”

“But-”

“Go and get the girl you’ve been crushing on since we were kids.”

“I don’t have a crush on her.” mia rolls her eyes.

“yeah sure. It’s like saying i don’t have a crush on jake.” mia deadpans.

“You have a crush on jake?” jay tilts his head.

“huh? what? I didn’t hear you.” jay rolls his eyes.

“I will tell mom on you.”

“We aren’t five anymore jay. Just go with (name) and be confident. I’m sure she likes you too!”

“Fine.” jay goes over to where you were. You thanked the person who delivered the cake and went back. Jay walks over to you.

“why are you here?” you say. Jay shrugs and then silence follows after. both you and jay went back to the classroom. where they graduation party really started.

That was the last time you saw the boy before college happened. It had been 3 years since you’ve last seen jay or even Mia. She went to a different department and so you couldn’t always meet up with her since she was extremely busy. It was just about towards the ending of exam season and so plenty of people started planning for parties.

You spot a familiar figure waving for you and so you walked over.

“It’s been too long (name)!” Mia gives you a tight squeeze.

“You’ve changed.” you say. your best friend looked so much more mature. she had made a decision to study business and so she dressed way more sophisticated.

“And so has jay.” she winks. You rolled your eyes.

“Are you seriously still trying to get me and jay together?”

“Has it worked?”

“No, we haven’t seen each other since the last party we held for our high school teacher.”

“What? But jay has to be in your class. You’re both in fashion right?”

“Fashion? I took arts, mia. I told you i had a passion for arts.” she facepalms and groans.

“Is that why jay cut me off. Urgh i’m an idiot.”

you tilt your head, “You haven’t talked to jay in 2 years?”

“Yeah, besides he has his friend group. Oh did you hear? They started a band together.”

“You mean those 3 heartthrobs of Decelis High?”

“Yeah, along with 3 freshmans and a senior.”

“That’s great. What about you and jake?” Mia shows you her ring. Your eyes widened, “He proposed in these 2-3 years we haven’t talked? Why didn’t you even tell me when you two started dating.”

“No, silly. It’s a promise ring. We’ve been dating for 2 years now. Best 2 years ever by the way.”

“Kinda hurt you didn’t tell your best friend about this.” you huffed and folded your arms.

“I’m sorry!” she goes to hug you.

“You had time with your boyfriend but not me. It hurt when you just cut all contacts with me you know.” you pout.

“Sorry (name).” she whines. You giggled. “I’ll buy you tteokbokki. how about that?”

“With cheese?” you say.

“With cheese.”

The both of you made it to a familiar tteokbokki stand, one that you went to everyday after school. You noticed a pretty familiar face. Mia tilts her head and looks over to where you were staring.

“He said he’d be having band practice.” Mia stares at jake. She pulls you over to where the 6 boys were. Then lets go of you before grabbing jake by the ear. “sim jaeyun, didn’t you say you were having band practice?” mia glares at jake.

“ah ah, i’m sorry, babe forgive me. sunghoon suggested to eat at our usual tteokbokki place so we decided to come here but cross my heart, we practiced before coming here.” jake says.

“(name)?” sunghoon says.

“Sunghoon.”

“hyung, who is she?”

“Oh umm, that is (name). (name), this is sunoo, jungwon, ni-ki and heeseung. Our bandmates.”

“Hi.” you waved.

“Where is jay by the way?” Mia asks.

“Bathroom.” Mia nods.

“Well, we shouldn’t disturb all of you. Me and Mia will just go shopping.” you grabbed her arm and quickly left the tteokbokki place. It fell silent between you and her as you walked around the shops.

“Why did you leave? You could’ve seen jay.”

“It’s been a while since we’ve caught up with each other. Come on, let’s go shopping.” you say. Mia could sense you didn’t want to talk about jay so she nods.

It was around 7.30pm when you finished walking around with mia. you decided to get back to your dorm, however as you were arriving, you saw someone familiar. he was walking a girl home. it was jay. He shyly converses with the girl and bid her goodbye. You mustered up the courage and quickly walked past them. The girl walks in first and you silently prayed that jay wouldn’t notice it was you.

“(name).” well...your hope was now crushed. You slowly turned to face jay.

“Jay. a little surprised to see you here.” you gave him the most sincere fake smile you could, “Why are you here?”

“Oh..just sending a close friend of mine to the dorms since it was quite late.”

“Oh. that’s nice of you. She must be a really great friend.” jay blushes slightly.

“a-ah no. We just talk a little.” it hurts to see jay so flustered by a girl. the younger you would’ve cried. You giggled.

“Someone has a crush on her. Well i’ll get going, see you.” you quickly left before jay could say anything. You were heartbroken. You went back to your dorm. Seems like your roommate just arrived too.

“where did you go?” you asked her. She was in a daze, clearly happy something happened to her.

“The fashion heartthrob walked me home today.” she says. You froze, was that girl your roommate?

“Which heartthrob? Our school has a bunch.” you nonchalantly say as you placed your shoes onto the shelves. it was true, your department and practically the whole school had a bunch of heartthrobs.

“jay. God, he’s so good looking. You think he likes me? He was so flustered while talking to me.” she says. You remembered asking him just now. He did look flustered and kinda happy when talking to her.

“Yeah maybe.” your roommate jumps in happiness.

“eekkk, i’m so happy!! I should get some beauty rest to see him tomorrow!”

“Yeah you should.” you say. Your roommate runs to her room and shuts the door. Your phone vibrates. A text from Mia, she asked if you wanted to call so you replied to her with a simple okay. you picked up the call.

“Hey, got to your dorms safely?” mia asks. you shut your bedroom door and placed your purse down on the table.

“Yeah.”

“Great but why do you sound so defeated?”

you sighed, “Do you think jay still likes me?”

“Of course. Even if it has been years. Jay will still look for you. Why?” you fiddled with your little songwriting book you’ve kept since you were 15. the pages were almost filled with inspirations and lyrics.

“i saw him walking a girl home and that girl is my roommate.”

“what? Oh he will get it.” mia says. you could imagine her holding up her fist.

“No, don’t. He will know i told you because i was the only one that knows about it.” you cracked open the book and began writing some lyrics for fun.

“Are you doubting yourself?” mia asks. you paused. did you doubt yourself? absolutely. jay was someone who was out of reach.

“I mean...he can date whoever he wants. I have no control over him. it’s not like i’m his girlfriend.” you quickly continue to scribble.

“(name), listen to me.”

“Go ahead.”

“We will dress up and meet the band tomorrow.” you dropped the pen.

“What?”

“We have to and besides jay blocked me from everything. i just wanna have a word with him.”

“Mia-”

“Whoops sorry, i have to go. Jake is calling me.” mia ends the call. You breathed in. you had to prepare to meet him again tomorrow.

The next day, mia tells you to get ready by 1pm and so you do. You put on a simple short black dress and threw over a leather jacket. to finalise the look, you wore a necklace. maybe this was a little extra but hey who said you couldn’t dress up.

“My god, what special occasion are you going to?” mia says upon seeing you walk out of the door. you rolled your eyes.

“is it wrong to dress up?” you say. Mia smiles.

“oh no, it isn’t wrong but jay would sooo drool over this. maybe if jay didn’t like you, you could go for someone else. like me perhaps.” mia winks. you laughed and smacked her arm.

both you and mia arrived at where the band frequently practices. The school provided a studio for them and they were elated. Their band played at school related shows and once at a prom. They were pretty known in the school. which surprised you since you’ve never seen them before. i mean, you never really go to school events anyways.

“baby!” jake runs up to mia. They hugged, you smiled at them. they were adorable. way different to how they were back then but you knew along the way that mia just liked jake.

“Okay the younger boys and heeseung have met (name) but yeah. She’s here today.” mia says. you waved.

“Your aura seems different today. Do you have a date later on or something?” sunghoon says as he nudges you. You giggled.

“very funny hoon, unfortunately, i am not going out for one.”

“maybe i could take you out to one later on then.” he smirks. you playfully rolled your eyes at sunghoon’s words.

“shut up.”

“then who did you dress up for noona?” sunoo says.

“yeah, for who?” sunghoon smirks, “is it possibly me?”

“In your dreams. I dressed up for myself.” your eyes met with jay’s, he was definitely checking you out and so you shyly looked away.

“hey (name), i just remembered when you showed me a music piece that you wrote in high school.” jake says. You blushed.

“jake, what do you mean? i never showed you anything.” the boys were interested.

“You’re lying. Mia knows about it too.” she nods agreeing with her boyfriend.

“Don’t tell me you still have it.” you say. jake smirks. He pulls out a book, it was your old lyric book that you had for fun since you had a lot of fun writing it. you swore you lost it so why does jake have it?

“Shall we try singing it, miss singer?” jake says.

“what? I can’t sing, jake.” he turns over to mia.

“Don’t hide that beautiful voice of yours, (name).” she comes up to you and whispers, “besides, don’t you want to impress jay so he wouldn’t be swayed by your roommate?” you breathed in. you really haven’t sang in a while and you didn’t want to do it. however, with everyone’s eyes on you…you couldn’t let them down.

“Fine.” you say. jake claps his hands. He grabs his guitar and starts the chords for the chorus since you only wrote for the chorus and then gave up. it was honestly impressive that you came up with guitar chords to go with the chorus you wrote.

You took a deep breath. you were a little nervous but you closed your eyes and pretended no one was there. it was as if you were singing in your bedroom alone.

Be in love, we know

Heart to heart, you feel it too, right?

Hey love, hey love, please wait for a while

We can be together

Say bye-bye to boring days

Feel our energy

Hey love, hey love, baby just stay in love, love

You stopped right there and when you opened your eyes, you instantly met with jay staring at you. You shyly looked away.

“Wahhh noona, that was great. You should’ve join music production or something.” sunoo says.

“I’m not that great. I just made these lyrics up because i had a crus-” you covered your mouth. great you just revealed the one thing you didn’t want the boys to know about.

“You had a crush? Why didn’t we know about this?” sunghoon says. You looked down at your hands.

“Because it’s not important. It’s just a crush. It wasn’t like i dated him or something.”

“Exactly but crushes are equally important as a boyfriend. So miss (name), are you going to spill the tea or not?” sunghoon says. You looked over at jay, he seemed like he wasn’t upset or anything.

“i-i’m not telling!” you say.

“then if she won’t say it...I WILL! IT’S-” you covered jake’s mouth.

“hehe, well i guess it’s a mystery. Well i have to go now, bye!” you grabbed your bag and left. Mia gives jake one look before running off to find you. Jake grabs his phone when he notices it’s ringing, he answers it and places it in speaker mode.

“(name)! Where are you going?”

“hiding in my room! I can’t believe i blurted that out loud in front of jay!”

“Oh come on, (name). It’s not bad.” you stopped and looked at mia.

“Not bad? that song was literally crafted for him because my teen heart loved him so much. If he found out then i’m fucked. I was stupid. he already has a crush on someone else now. what’s the use?” you confessed. Jake looks up at jay, a blush dusting the older boy’s cheeks.

Mia shows her phone and places it in speaker mode.

“Jay, you heard that? Also unblock me, you idiot.” mia says.

“u-umm can you pass the phone to (name).” jay says. your eyes widened. oh hell nah, he heard everything you just said. mia and her devious plans.

“Mia…” you glared at her.

“Talk to him.” she says handing you her phone after turning off the speaker mode. Jay found a place to quietly talk to you, preferably away from the other boys.

“Hey. jay says.

“Hi.”

“Let’s just get to the point. That song was for me?”

“Yes.” your heart was beating 10 times faster.

“So you liked me.”

“Would it be bad if i still like you up till now and i’ve been waiting for you?” you say.

“Meet me outside your dorm at 6pm.” jay says.

“Uh, sure.”

“I’ll tell mia to send my phone number after i unblock her.” you snort.

“Can’t believe you blocked her because she thought i took fashion.”

“Trust me, i was really mad when i couldn’t find you anywhere in the fashion department.”

“Well see you later.” you say.

“See you.” the call ends. You hand mia her phone back.

“Oh he just unblocked me and he asked me to send you his number...wait what happened during the call.”

“Not telling you.” you stick your tongue out.

Later at 6pm, you came downstairs in a hoodie and sweatpants because honestly, it was too comfy. Jay was waiting for you and you sneaked up on him and scared him. He flinches.

“Oh my god, it was just you.” you smiled.

“So why did you want to meet me here?” you asked.

“Well, i wanted to invite you to a party.”

“A party? Couldn’t you have texted me.”

“Umm...i’m inviting you as my date.” your eyes widened, “you don’t have to accept it. umm, if you don’t want to come to the party-”

“Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll come.” you flashed him a smile. He shyly smiles. Before you left to get back to your dorm, you gave jay a peck on the cheek and then ran off quickly. Jay holds the side where you kissed him at, a wide grin forming. Jay texts you the details of the party.

Friday comes in, the day of the party. Jay comes to pick you up. You opened the door and there stood jay. He snuck up to the dorm apartment place just to meet you at the door. You were wearing a similar black dress that hugged your body even more perfectly than the previous one. Jay smiles.

“You look great.”

“Thank you, you too.” jay drives you over to the party. It was a huge party, almost every popular clique was here and they all were in their own fun world. Dancing, drinking alcohol and probably making out. Jay drags you to where his friends were.

“Oh hey, you two came together.” sunghoon says. Mia eyes you up and down.

“Isn’t that the dress i bought for you only specifically when you and jay are dati-WAIT (name)....” you shyly look over to jay and he wraps his arms around your waist protectively.

“Me and (name) are dating.” mia gasps.

“You didn’t ask me.” you whisper to jay.

“Well both you and i know, we have mutual feelings for each other so you’re my girlfriend now.” you hide your face at the crook of jay’s neck. he runs his hands down your back to pat you.

“AYYYYY (name), can’t believe you and jay are finally together.” jake says. Jay could hear you whine softly. He chuckles.

“Alright, she’s shy. Let’s not tease her.” jay says.

“Don’t makeout in front of us alright.” mia says.

“You and jake should take your own advice.” heeseung says. Jake blushes.

[epilogue]

It was still summer holiday so both you and jay went back home to visit your parents and well…

“I always knew you two would get together. A match made in heaven.” your mom says.

“mom~” you whined.

“jongseong-ah, where is your sister?”

“At jake’s house.”

“Oh my, are they dating? I knew something would spark between them, they used to hate each other and now look at them. Mia didn’t even tell me about both of them.” Jay’s mom says. Your mom settles the both of you down on the couch.

“so…(name), jay. When are the both of you planning to get married?” your mom asks.

“MOM!” jay on the other hand was blushing hard.

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usertimothee · 1 year

Note

Hey, I haven’t read Little Women or any of the books related, the only adaptation I have seen is Greta Gerwig’s and I’ve recently rewatched it. And I have some thoughts are mostly ramblings and need to express to someone so I hope you don’t mind me popping in here. I don’t really know where people got that Jo was In love with Laurie? She loved him as a friend but romantically? I never got that really. And how I took that scene with Jo and Marmee was Jo admitting she was lonely and if Laurie asked her to marry him again she would say yes. That’s kinda unfair to herself and him when you think about it, marrying someone just because you’re lonely? Not because you are truly in love with him? How would you both be happy together? I’ve seen some discussion around them and I don’t really like people putting in the tropes “oh lovers who went wrong or right person wrong time” to Jo and Laurie. Because they weren’t lovers, they were friends. And I don’t understand where people get Jo being the “right” person for Laurie. I wish we could have gotten more of Jo and Friedrich. They were cute I think. And I wish we could have gotten more with Amy and Laurie. I think this summer I’m gonna find the books and read them. Anyways, there’s my thoughts and hope you are having a good day.❤️

hi anon! never be afraid to come into my inbox and ramble about little women bc talking about it is literally my fav thing.

especially when ur thoughts are so spot on, and i'm honestly so surprised and pleased u got this from greta's version. bc a lot of people think she made laurie and jo be that "right person wrong time" couple when they're not like that at all, in any adaptation, even greta's.

ur totally right, jo never loved laurie romantically. like, ever. and it's made obvious multiple times. ("i can't love you as you want me to...it would be a lie to say i do when i don't," in the proposal scene.) and it's especially made clear in the attic scene, with jo admitting she's just so lonely. but if you can't get it from: marmee: do you love [laurie]? jo: if he asked me again, i think i would say yes. do you think he'll ask me again? marmee: but do you love him? jo: i care more to be loved. i want to be loved. marmee: that is not the same as loving. jo: i know. like ur honestly dumb i'm sorry? or don't know how to read media at all. or ur just being willingly obtuse idk.

and i would go even further. i firmly believe that laurie never loved jo that way, either. that boy was lonely before he met the march family. maybe even lonelier than jo was after beth died. he was an orphan, lived with his tutor and his grandfather (who was kind of cold to laurie before he met the marches, as well.) he had no friends. jo was the first girl he loved at all, in any way. of course he thought he was in love with jo. he didn't know any other love except the love had for her. and laurie was a romantic, as well. of course he thought the two of them were meant to be.

but they weren't, ever, and that's made so clear from their conversation in the attic. laurie: jo, i have always loved you, but the love i feel for amy, it's different. and i think you were right about this, i think we would've killed each other...i think it was meant this way. like...do jolauries think laurie is lying to jo? what reason would he have to do that? it doesn't make any sense.

and jo looks so stunned (this is admittedly clearer in the book than it is in greta's version) because it's amy. not because she's jealous, or expected laurie to still love her, but because her best friend just came home married to her little sister. that would stun anyone. and she looks sad, again, because she's so lonely, and she basically looks at the rest of her family coupled up and in love (amy and laurie, meg and john, marmee and her father) and she aches, because she doesn't have that.

i really think greta's only mistake was including that stupid letter to laurie. it didn't make sense and wasn't true to jo's character at all.

and finally, once again, laurie doesn't love jo like that. not back then, and certainly not now. i mean, the journey from "i think you will marry, jo. i think you'll find someone, and love them, and live and die from them, because that's your way. and i'll watch," to "i never thought i'd prepare a carriage to help jo march chase a man, but i like it!" he's delighted in that scene, just like everyone else. bc the jo he saw with friedrich was so different that the jo that was around him. he can tell the difference because he knows the difference now, because that boy is so desperately in love with amy it's not funny.

and that's another thing jolauries disregard: laurie's love for amy. because he does love her. and amy loves him, and understands him in a way that jo never did. and laurie wants to be better for amy. because, let's face it, that boy was a mess when amy found him in europe. (and this is one other thing the movie leaves out: laurie realizes in the book that jo was right shortly after he leaves concord - the two of them would've never worked. and by the time he meets up with amy again, he isn't still mourning his relationship with jo, he's just insurmountably lonely again, just like he was before, and he doesn't see an end to it.) he heals bc he falls in love with amy. he wants to be worthy of her, because he admires her and respects her. there's a great first draft of the script which is floating around on the internet which includes this letter from laurie to amy: Dear Amy, I have gone to make something of myself, so you might not be ashamed to call me your friend. like...he just got his heart broken by her. but he doesn't get angry at her, like he got angry at jo, because he loves amy. and he wants to be around her and is desperate to have her in his life, even if it's just as a friend.

and, just to give more evidence that amy is the first and only person he's in love with (and because i just love it a lot), here's the original draft of their kiss scene: laurie: i love you. amy, i love you. amy: you do? laurie: more than anything or anyone in this world. you are first in everything. you do not have to accept me, but i love you, amy march. [amy cries even harder. he kisses her.] amy: i love you, laurie laurie: i love you, amy march. laurie literally has gently but ardently resigned himself to loving amy even if she doesn't love him back, which is such a change from when jo rejected him.

and ur totally right, jo and friedrich are so cute together (even though louis garrel is unfortunately an asshole). and more importantly, friedrich understands jo in a way laurie never did, and lover her for who she is instead of who he wants her to be. and come on, when friedrich says, "my hands are empty," and jo takes his hands in hers and says, "they're not empty," and then he kisses her in the rain. like that is peak romance idk what anyone says.

anyways. tl;dr jo never loved laurie, laurie never loved jo, laurie is in love with amy, jo is in love with friedrich.

anon, feel free to come into my inbox anytime! and let me know how u like the book! i think if u have these opinions, u will like it a lot :)

#little women #little women 2019 #little women meta #meta #amylaurie #amy x laurie #jolaurie #jo x laurie #jo x friedrich #jo march #laurie laurence #theodore laurence #amy march #friedrich bhaer #long post #anons are beautiful #thank u for the ask!

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cloveroctobers · 8 months

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SHELTER — E.BUCKLEY | sept. prompts !

A/N: okay I failed myself in saying I wouldn’t fall victim to being in love with Buck…sorry Eddie. I also did say I was going to write for Eddie too in my other sept. prompt but when you do dives on tiktok they always provide the tea/controversy so idk rn lol maybe,,,maybe not! if you catch my drift—it’s giving thee ick. Anyways here’s some fluff! I’ve been binge-watching the show for awhile now ( I occasionally watched it from time to time when it was live on tv) from the beginning and I’m currently half way through season five and don’t want to get to season six just yet since who knows when the next season will be. I’m looking at you companies who feel like it’s okay to take advantage of people :) 🖕🏾

Prompts are from here + I’m using: 22.) Misty morning at the beach + 23.) Cold night cuddles + 29.) Rain storm

WARNINGS: mentions of mental health + hints of SAD, mentions of cults, mentions of death, slight language, protectiveness + fluff.

*GIF AND PHOTO DO NOT BELONG TO ME!

˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾

there was something about September’s that never sat right with Amaryllis, “Lissy.” It always brought nothing but gloom along with dread to her entire being and perhaps it had to do with her upbringing (was it the fact that her father was also born in September?) that set the chemicals off in her brain; even if she didn’t intentionally think about it. It always happened around this time but Lissy knew what it was physically but learned to push it away especially when the disappearance of Maddie came to surface.

And when she returned to Buck’s place spotting the purple bruise that took up a good portion of his eye, she also stuffed this dull feeling further away although it almost always still lingered no matter how much she shooed it away. When she witnessed the harm done to Buck, her instinct was to immediately go after the person who gave that to Buck. Her gut feeling was telling her that this didn’t come from work, of course it could have (being a old fire fighter herself) if things went left on the job but Lissy’s seen enough wounds in her life to know this was blunt force inflicted by someone else.

Her fiancé couldn’t lie for anything, trying his best to dodge her brown eyes and move around the house but once someone brought anguish to her man, a fire bubbled in her chest. She was always ready to protect despite knowing Buck’s impulsive behavior, she was already pointing the finger at someone else. Until she learned it came from Chimney, which made her stand frozen at the top of the steps that led to Buck’s bedroom.

“I’m sorry, who?” Lissy had her eyes in slits, making sure what she heard was right.

Buck peered down at his folded hands as he took a seat on the edge of the bed, “It was Chimney, okay? He found out that I knew more than he did about Maddie and he didn’t take it so well.”

“…I understand being frustrated but taking it out on you is not okay.”

Buck held his head down as he whispered, “Maybe I should have been more vocal about what Maddie was going through…then maybe just maybe my sister would be here right now.”

Lissy bit down on her bottom lip harshly. She also knew about Maddie’s mishap with Jee-Yun when Buck told her one night—just venting and she didn’t say anything to Chimney either, her concern was also just trying to talk to Maddie and check in with her but unfortunately that was not enough. If Chimney knew this would he have taken his anger out on Lissy too? Regardless Lissy was the type of person to always have her guard up with a smile yet she was also good friends with Chimney, he was a great friend but she wouldn’t lie and say she also wasn’t pissed with him right now.

She was just itching to call him up or pull up on him to give him a piece of her mind too. Lissy knew what mountains of pain can do to you and sometimes you don’t react the way that you should, which is why she tried her best to swallow her anger so that she could comfort the man she gets to call her husband some day.

“We don’t know that,” Lissy starts as she steps to Buck to grip his warm face, “because Maddie is going through a dark space and she wants to figure it out on her own, without us, when she doesn’t have to but felt like that was her best option for her and Jee. Sure we absolutely could have mentioned it to Chimney but Maddie is always going to seek help the best way she knows how. That’s just how she is, we know that and it’s not any of our faults or her’s. Life is hard sometimes…even harder when your head is against you opposed to your heart…and I’ll forever stand by the fact that you did not deserve what Howard did. You hear me?”

Buck wouldn’t meet Lissy’s ink colored eyes but she fought to catch his and when his fresh spring rain colored ones met her’s, he held her stare. Her eyes swam with so much determination and care, although he didn’t necessarily believe or agree with what the woman with the simmering auburn hair was saying to him in this moment, he felt how sincere her words were.

She was always going to be by his side, much like his big sister was, even if it was at a distance for a split time.

Maddie’s time.

“I love you Liss,” Buck croaked out, his hands sliding over her hips to lock around the small of her back before pressing his cheek into her stomach.

Her hands cradled the back of his shoulders and the other pressed to the back of his head. She leans down to place a kiss to the top of his deep brown hair, “And I love you back.”

A trip to the east coast was a drastic change in weather and scenery. Buck was originally from the east coast so this felt familiar while Lissy’s roots were in South Carolina. She came up with the idea to go on this trip to just get away from everything, even if it was only for a weekend. Buck was reluctant to go on his trip since he felt like maybe he should be out there with Chimney and his niece searching for Maddie, if he picked up his damn phone that is! Chimney did however when Lissy called him the next night while Buck was in the shower. Although in Buck’s perspective, he just wanted to know where Maddie is and if she was safe. If she left without him or Chimney, then there was a reason for that. That was something he understood although Chimney did not.

“Hello, Amaryllis.” Chimney greeted dryly as he decided to answer that night.

No one’s ever simply called Lissy by her government really—unless you were her wicked deceased father, everyone had nicknames in the 118 family but they both knew this conversation would be serious. Chimney kept the phone ringing for what seemed like forever and Lissy was also prepared to leave a voicemail if needed.

Lissy scoffed, “huh. Howard. so glad you know how to pick up a phone. I have something very simple to tell you so I’ll keep this brief. Don’t you ever put your hands on Buck like that again, or we’re definitely going to have some problems and I don’t want to have a problem with you brother-in-law.”

“Oh, Is that so?”

“That’s what I said, yeah.”

“Imagine if Maddie did what Buck did, how exactly would you feel?”

“I wouldn’t put my hands on another abused woman that’s for damn sure.”

Chimney’s quiet then, “no you probably wouldn’t…but I’m not ready to forgive Buck so tell him to stop trying to reach out and you can also cut the shit with your threats.”

Chimney knows Lissy’s backstory and how much that screwed her brain up, considering they had to pull her in on a case that had to do with cults once in the outskirts of the city.

She had to get into the mind of a cult-leader much like her own father was. That was what really pushed her to seek out help again (the years of dealing with child psychologists would forever be embedded into her brain) and it really wasn’t that long ago that Lissy stopped. After all, maybe she understood Maddie more than she was letting on, although it was different with Maddie being a mother and Lissy handling childhood trauma, she was still the most empathic; which commonly threw others for a loop majority of the time. However Chimney’s anger was blinding everything and he couldn’t be reasonable right now.

Lissy states, “As long as I make myself clear.”

“Well let me make this clear to you, Maddie is the mother of my child, I love her and she deserves to be here with us. She deserves to know that she’s not a terrible person or mother although I’m ticked with her too but Jee-Yun deserves a mother in her life! I can’t just sit on my ass like Buck and let her figure this all out on her own. what kind of man would I be if I wasn’t by her side?”

Lissy talks with experience,“I get that Chimney and we love her too, never stopped. Maddie practically raised Buck so why would you think for one second that he would ever stop loving her? because he chose a different route than you would? He’s her brother. I get that you want to be there but not everyone heals the best or copes well when their loved ones are hovering, especially if they’re afraid to hurt them again.”

“Maddie never hurt anyone! Don’t you get it?!”

More than he would ever know.

“She doesn’t see it that way.”

Chimney snaps, “You seem to have the answers for everything don’t you Amaryllis? do you know where Maddie’s run off to huh? Are you also keeping secrets like your shit stain of a fiancé?”

“I’m telling you to watch how you talk about him,” Lissy deeply exhales her warning as her fingernails dig into the palm of her hand, while she stands at the island counter before carrying on with her phone pressed to her ear, “Buck is still your chosen family and you love him too despite the anger you’re throwing around. I hope you get through that at some point, Howard. Best of luck to you, give Jee my love.”

Her calm demeanor irritated Chimney so he finalizes, “I won’t, so save it.”

And with that the line goes dead.

When she’s off the phone, she’s pinching at the space in between her brows and jumps a bit as she feels hands circle around her waist. She smells Buck’s body wash of Cedarwood, Vetiver, tangerine, and Oud before he presses his chin into her shoulder.

“Everything okay?” he quietly asks, his voice almost soothing that feeling that wants to seep upwards to her brain again.

A small smile stretches onto her full lips as she rests a hand right on top of Buck’s locked ones that are wrapped around her waist, “it will be, baby. What do you think about heading out to Hampton Beach this weekend?”

“Like? New Hampshire?” Buck questions, a slight furrow appearing against his brows, “Not that I wouldn’t love a baecay with you but is now really the best time for that?”

Lissy snorts at the nickname for vacation which lets her know he’s been watching some vlogs again and says, “everyone needs a get away once in awhile. We can discuss it more over dinner…so what are we feeling tonight? Anything except Thai, my stomach needs a break, Ev.”

He raises his hands in surrender as Lissy turns to face him. His eyes scan over her face, noticing the bags on her pretty freckled face that slowly became more prominent. She still looked stunning to him in any state and when she sent him a sweet smile that usually seemed to reach her eyes, he couldn’t tell her no.

“How about Venezuelan?” It was one of her favorites and Buck knew how to compromise in this loving relationship, “and that trip? I’ll really think about it.”

He couldn’t promise but since his mind was always running, he knew he would anyway.

With some persuasion from mainly Bobby and everyone else, that’s how Buck and Lissy were on a flight to “The Switzerland of America!”

Lissy’s not sure how long she’s been awake in the bed post, laying beside Buck, head resting on her tucked hands as she stares out towards the curtain covered window. The hotel was surely giving bed and breakfast with its colonial style and old like furniture but felt charming nonetheless. That’s until the creaking sounded with each movement, more so than at night that had her questioning if there were ghosts watching them sleep which happened to be much louder than Buck’s snoring apparently.

The auburn haired woman completely forgot to put a nose strip on him when they got here while he shuffled around in the bed like he commonly did but after the afternoon flight, they rushed up to their room, shared a shower and went downstairs to the tavern in the late afternoon a little before it closed at five for: one glass of Riesling and a bottle of Heineken for Buck, a cup of chowder on the side that Buck raved about, whereas Lissy personally thought it was bland and steak tips for himself, while Lissy went for the linguini tossed with herb roasted vegetables, which of course Buck teased her for.

“You’re not getting any of my beef, those veggies are not gonna feel you up, babe.” Buck laughed as he stabbed his fork into the steak.

Which wasn’t necessarily true since he had no issue sharing a spoon full of chowder about ten minutes ago before their main dishes came out.

Lissy hummed, disagreeing since she was definitely a pasta loving woman and got filled off carbs pretty quick but decided to taunt the man as she said, “I’ve already had my share earlier in the shower don’t you remember? I think I’ll be just fine.”

Buck stopped chewing to meet Lissy’s wink and had a few flashbacks of what was supposed to be a innocent shower turned not so innocent, “Behave.”

Now it was Saturday morning and she was awake before Buck. Lately she’s been waking up pretty early although she mainly worked the night time shift as a medical examiner, which Buck hated if she stayed over at his place. They hardly got the chance to spend nights together with their hectic schedules. Trust this wasn’t always Lissy’s desired path of careers but ultimately it probably made the most sense. With Lissy’s draining violent and psychological upbringing, she thought she would never see the light of day until she got away from the farm and was placed into an orphanage and then a helpful foster home that ended up wanting to adopt her.

She learned so much throughout her twenty-eight years of life and wanted to provide some sort of comfort to those who have passed on along with those that lost them. She wasn’t able to do that for her own mother who died not long after the birth of her baby sister, granted she was only six but she had to witness it. At least with death on the farm where the cult her father led, they gave each a proper send off.

That always stuck with Amaryllis no matter how twisted it may seem to outsiders.

“What are we doing today?” Buck says with sleep still deep in his tone, pressing his nose into Lissy’ shoulder, breathing her in, as he curls up against her.

It’s seven-nineteen in the morning.

Lissy blinks, “let’s go to the beach.”

“To get our early morning work out in? We didn’t get to go on our walk last night, so hell yeah, let’s go!”

Buck is full of cheers but Lissy let’s out a small laugh.

“I didn’t say all that. We’re on vacation! Who wants to work out on vacation?”

Gym rats, that’s who! Buck was 75% there.

“I’m gonna have alcohol poisoning by how many times you say ‘vacation’ on this trip aren’t I?”

“Oh, Shut up, Ev.”

Buck got used to Lissy appreciating the little things and yeah he found it enduring. Although he initially thought of someplace better than New Hampshire, he still planned on taking her all over the world since she never had that experience. Buck wanted to try his damn hardest to give Lissy the world.

Once upon a time, Lissy had a sheltered life, it was what she was used to and Buck was rebellious and always strived to do what someone told him not to do. They might have not liked it but at least he was able to say he fucking did it no matter the outcome.

Take that how you will.

And he found something special in the woman that lay before him. He wanted to share and see the world with her because there was no one else he wanted or imagined that more with. She made him happy and feel truly understood, always ready to listen to his side first, to be adventurous, and open to loving all that he is. In a way sure she made him nervous at times, since he’s never felt like he could be so raw in relationships before but he didn’t have to question when it came to her.

He guess it was true when they say you know you found the one the day you peer into their eyes long enough.

He’s chuckling before he presses a kiss to her clothed shoulder underneath the sheets, turning over his shoulder to reach for his phone to peer at the time since the alarm clock was turned on a odd angle on Lissy’s side of the bed.

“Eh, I’d rather lay here a little longer first. Let’s get up around seven-thirty or seven-forty five, huh?”

They were both early birds.

“Sure,” Lissy shrugs as Buck gets comfortable throwing his arm over her comforter covered body.

His touch was all she needed to close her eyes.

It was eight fifty when they settled onto the beach which was eight minutes away by car. The plaid blanket Lissy had spread out for them on the sand was just enough as they sat shoulder to shoulder, eyes out on the pale blue-gray waves that spun around on this Misty morning on the beach. Buck had his cup of flat white coffee, which he had to switch with Lissy since his iced coffee was too cold for him now on this sixty-five degree beach. He didn’t even care for coffee like that but he really got accustomed to it once he became a firefighter and it kept him wide-awake during over-time shifts.

“You know? this flat white isn’t too bad. It’s not what you always get right?”

Lissy’s nose crinkles a bit in humor as she sips at the cold iced mocha, which was a little too sweet for her liking but she masked it well, “I asked for extra milk and two sugars just in case.”

“So you knew—wow.” Buck stuck his tongue into his cheek, “You really do love me.”

“Yeah I do and don’t you forget it,” Lissy playfully pointed at the blond who slipped a hand around her back to rub as she leaned into him so he could kiss her temple and provide some warmth back.

And they sunk into each other as they watched the ocean come alive. Normally Buck didn’t mind the ocean but after with what happened with Christopher…the thought of the big body of water did give him a bit of anxiety until therapy gave him some peace. It also helped that he always had the love of his life to steer his mind away from the worries of life…for a little while at least.

The beach was serene and there werent too many people around that lingered yards away; Buck was sure that would be a complete contrast as the town rose to the day despite the gloom the skies brought.

Buck mumbled against Lissy’s hair, “Will you still say the same when I kick your butt at the arcade when it opens later?”

“Thats debatable.”

“I knew it,” Buck shared a laugh with the freckled face woman.

The couple later ventured off to another restaurant on the boardwalk for lunch around eleven thirty, eating lightly since their bellies were slightly full from the coffee before trailing down the boardwalk hand in hand. From souvenir shops where they got dorky but cute matching lounge shirts, to candy stores where Buck had a field day and wanted to take some home for Christopher since he was sure he would eat his share before they boarded the plane on Sunday afternoon, to finally stopping at a jewelry shop where Lissy went crazy buying all sorts of crystals that Buck still had no idea what they even mean. She even bought him a little glass turtle necklace that he just had to proudly wear around for the rest of the evening.

They ended up at the arcade by five pm and it was basically all fun between the two. Of course both wanted to win and it was close but the last game…Lissy had Buck in the end.

Literally and figuratively.

Buck sighs, “Alright fine, what do you want?”

“Kiss my ring first.”

“Oh this ring? The 1.5ct 18k opal stone with Moissanite accents? I don’t think your partner would like that very much.” He’s holding onto her fingers with pride and a smirk.

“Who’s to say he’s the one who gave it to me? Perhaps I’ve made this purchase all on my own, Mr.! Loving yourself first is the true key to finding love in someone else.”

“Well that’s true and I can’t be mad at that…but just curious, did you find that somebody?”

Lissy grins up at Buck as she locks her arms over his shoulders and Buck keeps his hands playfully raised, “I sure did, sugar. I’m looking right at him.”

And Buck seals her words with a kiss, guiding her right by the chin so their lips could meet. Buck can feel the soft tickle of her breath beneath his nose as they held each other in place, before they slowly moved their lips together in sync. His rosy lips were always so soft against her full and sweet ones and Lissy never got tired of kissing Buck. He always held her with so much tenderness and any day in his arms felt like a vacation to her.

When they broke apart, forehead to forehead, her round eyes flicked up to Buck’s awaiting spring floating into summer eyes, “I want the stuffed lobster.”

Buck snorted as he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling a bit, “yeah, of course you do. C’mon then.”

She bounced on her toes, letting her hands slide down from his chest just for him to grip her hand once more, leading her to the counter to claim her gift.

They’re back on the boardwalk with Buck snapping solo pictures of Lissy modeling at ease (along with off guard ones) with the vibrant red lobster and people moving about. It’s around seven with the sky slowly shifting to navy and the puff of clouds remaining gray; the air is still steamy but breezy and the married couple to be realizes their time on the illuminated boardwalk will be cut short as a single raindrop falls to the center of Lissy’s parted hair.

“Hey,” Lissy peeks up at the sky then, while Buck is getting his poses out in the mirror outside with a bucket hat and shades on.

Buck is asking Eddie on FaceTime, “How do I look man?”

“Like an assclown.” Lissy hears as she looks around the boardwalk, noticing that people began to take cover into the nearby stores.

Lissy takes that as a sign and starts, “Ev…”

Just as the rain begins pelting hard against the wooden walkway, giving the indication that it would definitely hurt if they decided to run through it.

“Liss?” Buck calls out as he watches her balance the stuffed lobster in between her thighs then gathered her blown out hair up into claw clip after quickly tying it into a ponytail, “Eddie it’s down pouring. I’ll call you later!”

She steps back into the hard rain, a single arm spread out in her copper sweater, while the other holds her lobster, russet dress underneath twirling a bit with a spin she does, a wide smile spreading out onto her lips as she calls out over the loud water, “let’s go!”

He calls back, “Where to?”

“Anywhere!” She laughs and Buck can’t help but to shake his head as he tosses the hat back on the hook then places the shades onto the near by table.

He runs out to her then, interlacing his soft but strong hand into her own, water saturating both of their faces harshly and he dips his head at Liss before they take off together into the rain storm full of laughter and full of love.

Buck and Lissy couldn’t tell you how long they sat in the rental car but it wasn’t nearly as long as they ran in the rain together. He questioned if it would be weird ordering some delivery service for dinner to arrive at the hotel that had a tavern downstairs but Lissy simply shrugged her shoulders as her drying hair became bigger in its natural state.

Buck left briefly to sit in front of the fireplace outside of the tavern in the lobby which reminded him of his stuffy grandparents living room, waiting on their dinner after yet another lengthy shower. Everything seemed to be more in slow motion, like time was infinite for them both. When their dinner arrived, Buck wasted no time getting back to their charming bedroom to see Lissy sitting cross legged on the bed, still in a robe eating a mud pie that looked real familiar on the menu last night.

“No way are you eating that without me.” Buck comments as he places the bag onto the desk nearby.

Lissy covers her mouth as she tries to chew through the heaviness, “surprise! I’ll share.”

“How nice of you,” Buck laughs as he begins taking the containers of food out just for Lissy to appear behind him holding the dessert up to his lips with a fork.

Buck sighs in contentment, opening his eyes back to see Lissy nodding at him in agreement, “That has no business being that freaking good…you think we can have that as the wedding cake?

Lissy’s chest swells just thinking about the day, although they haven’t set a date yet and Buck talks about the wedding more than she does lately, it still brings her immense joy that someone like Buck would want to do life with her. He was patient and she learned all about his past relationships, which were way more than her’s—which she didn’t judge him for by any means but sometimes she still had to pinch herself to see if this was all real.

“It’s certainly a option, baby.” She runs her fingers over his stubble.

Together they sit back against the bed, Lissy in between Buck’s legs as they eat out of their containers of food, Lissy holding her own in her lap while Buck’s is off to the side of his, the brick wall behind the post bed makes the room chiller but being in each other’s space was all the shelter they need.

Lissy finds herself turning over her shoulder to look at Buck as he’s stuffing his face. When he feels her dark eyes burning into him, he flicks his gaze away from his meal, cheeks full as he sends a boyish laugh her way with a lift of his chin.

“Stop looking at me Mrs. Buck and eat your food.” He says, holding her stare as a single hand gets lost in her much thicker auburn hair.

Lissy laughs, “only if we can have a late night cuddle?”

“Is that not what we’re doing?” Buck asks, sliding his hand to rest back on her thigh.

Lissy shrugs as she faces her meal again, “I’m actually kinda cold.”

“What? Not my woman who likes to keep the thermostat on Antarctica. Wait…are you wearing anything under there?” Buck slides his hand up her torso first but she slaps his hand from lifting the opening of the robe.

She wags her finger in front of Buck’s eyes repeating, “Not uh, eat your food.”

Buck rolls his head around with a groan, “well how am I supposed to eat this if I’m curious now?”

“Just look at Brutus over there.” She points at the stuffed lobster that sits in the desk chair.

Buck pursed his lips after a moment, “My god that thing is ugly.”

“Don’t talk about our son like that!”

“Our what?” Buck side eyed Lissy who fought back a laugh.

“He has feelings.”

“Babe, I don’t know if you know this but that’s a stuffed animal and it doesn’t have emotions.”

“That’s the problem with men, y’all don’t know how to be in touch with your feelings.”

“Now wait a minute,” Buck frowns, “Karen or was it May? Somebody! did tell me I’m a cancer moon or something like that. I think I’m very much in touch with my feelings.”

“Hmm, I’m still in disbelief and think you’re more on the Gemini-Cancer cusp.”

Buck blinks, “yeah…whatever that means but it feels offensive so I think we’re ready for bed now.”

“I didn’t finish my nachos,” Lissy whines as Buck is closing up their containers and moving them elsewhere.

Buck shrugs as he leans back against the pillows still sitting up somewhat and pulls Lissy to rest against his chest, “Too bad. It’s my turn to hold you tonight, you did say you were cold and I don’t want you getting sick.”

Lissy huffs as she nestled her cheek into his chest, “…I won’t complain.”

“I know you won’t,” Buck laughs as he squeezes her shoulder and let’s his other hand rest on her hip.

She leans a kiss on his neck and before she can close her eyes for the night, she spies the light box on his side of the bed. She fears that feeling will come back and settle in like dry cement once they’re both back in Los Angeles but for tonight, she revels in the safety of Buck’s arms.

˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓˚ ༘ ೀ ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾

Read my October anthology prompts here.

#911 fox #911 abc #9 1 1 #911 show #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley x female reader #buck x reader #evan buckley x black! reader #oliver stark #maddie buckley #howard han #maddie x chimney #Eddie Diaz #christopher diaz #september prompts #queued

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babiebom · 2 months

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What Clique they would belong to if they were in Bully(2006)

A/N: because I wanna play this game on stream and have been watching old videos about it <3 also there’s no real emo clique but all the emo goth kids are in a specific clique that you will see very soon

Tw: mentions of bullying, cursing, some maybe nsfw stuff

Bc: idk like 5 each?

Stardew Masterlist

Sebastian

Okay see this is what I was talking about

There is no EMO clique in this game

Like the closest thing is the Townies so he’s going to that clique

Is you don’t know what the townies are they are the high schoolers that don’t go to Bullworth Academy and half of them look alt

The reasoning is Sebastian is too cool to be with the nerds

But he’s not cool enough to be in like the others

Like he isn’t preppy at all

He isnt a bully bc he’s antisocial and would rather just not talk to anyone

He isn’t a jock at ALL

If I had to put him with any of the ones at school he would be with the greasers but in reality he doesn’t fit in with them other than like his love of motercycles

Shane

Okay so he would definitely be in the jocks

He literally was a gridball star

He is an athletic man who has just let himself go

In high school his depression was not as bad or it didn’t even exist at that point

So dude would be with the jocks, laughing at nerds and being the captain of the football team

Sam

He doesn’t fit in any of the cliques unfortunately

Just like his bestie (guess where Abby is gonna go)

So townie he goes

He’s too nice to be in the jocks or bullies

He’s way too cool for the nerds

And dude is not a greaser

So oof townie he has to beeeeeeeeee

Elliott

King of the preppies

Again he gives me pretentious vibes which match with the preppies really well

Would think he’s better than you

And is a rich kid

It literally just makes sense

Harvey

Nerds

Dude is a doctor with a special interest in planes

Definitely in the nerd clique

But I don’t think he would be bullied as much because the girls in different cliques think he’s cute

So they’d be like “hehe Harvey can you help me with my homework? I promise to make it worth it”

And he’s like “yeah sure!!” And absolutely ignores their flirting attempts because he’s oblivious

Alex

Jocks

I mean what else would he be in?

If Shane is the captain of the team Alex would be the quarterback (are they different things? Idk?)

Like actually the most popular guy in school

If I have to pick a second clique for him it would be bullies

Haley

Preppies

Like rich blonde girl that’s pretty? Duh

While I do think she bullied people in high school

She’s too bougie to be in the bullies clique they’re too ghetto for her

And I’m pretty sure it’s the preppy girls who are cheerleaders which she definitely is

Captain of the cheerleading team by the way

Penny

Nerds

But like Harvey all the guys like her (in a very bad kind of way they wanna corrupt her)

So she doesn’t get bullied often

Can always be seen in the library reading

Is actually really pretty and the preppy girls hate her because she gets a lot of attention especially bc she’s a redhead

Emily

Only one to be non cliquey

She doesn’t fit in ANYWHERE

And that’s a blessing and a curse for her

Since her sister is a prep she isn’t bullied relentlessly

But she also doesn’t have a group of people to fall back on

But people in multiple cliques like her

She’s like popular but not popular if you know what I mean

Like if someone tries to bully her a random jock would be like

“Yo thaTS Emily she’s cool leave her alone”

Leah

Unfortunately for her she would be a preppy girl

Because this is high school we’re talking about

And Leah was a normie before she ran away to become an artist

So she would be in the preps and would HATE IT

Severely dislikes Haley and wants to fight her

Never hangs out with them unless it’s to keep up appearances or on campus so she isn’t kicked out and bullied

Maru

Nerds

Literally gets bullied everyday because why tf are you so socially unaware?

Also she isn’t hot enough (unfortunately) to escape the bullying

The guys that like her like her because she’s ethnically exotic to them

She’s popular among the nerds though because of her smarts

Literally could lead them if she wanted to

Abigail

Drumroll pleaseeeeeee

She’s a townie what else is new?

Alt girl who is too cool for the uncool kids and too weird for the cool kids

If she had to have a second clique I think she would want to be around the greasers

Simply because I think high school Abby wouldn’t wanna be associated with the nerds

Like does she like the same stuff they do?

Yes

But she would go feral if anyone tried to bully her

The greasers are the right amount of cool for her

Not bully enough that it makes her uncomfy but like they aren’t really bullied by anyone other than the preppies (literally the outsiders)

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sharonisthebettercarter · 3 months

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Starlight isn't interested in being a mom, she'll protect kids when the situation calls for it and be supportive of said kids, but she's not gonna take care of a child 24/7. She's more "protective auntie" type than "Good mom energy". Nobody expected Billy to be all nurturing towards kids, they shouldn't expect the same from starlight, it doesn't matter if the latter has a stronger connection to kids. We never saw her talk wanting kids nor shown any implications of her wanting to join motherhood. She definitely seems like she's someone who likes kids, but doesn't want any of her own. So yeah, don't expect her to be anyone's mom. Nobody expected Billy to be anyone's dad, especially if you read the comics, don't expect starlight to be anyone's mom. Idgas if she's nicer to kids than billy.

idk what you're on about anon but it's fuckin' weird, i'ma tell ya that.

starlight wanting kids is basically schrodinger's cat here. sure, she's never said or implied she specifically *wanted* kids.

but she's never said or implied that she specifically *doesn't* want kids either, in either iteration so whatever you thought this was, it's just a great big can of nothin' word soup.

or in other words, this random ramble that showed up in my inbox? it don't make a lick of sense.

also, why even care so much if starlight becomes a mom or not??? that is an exceedingly weird thing to grasp onto, i gotta say. it sounds more like *you* specifically don't want her to have kids and are possibly projecting your own desire onto your interpretation of the character, so headcanon i guess?? which fine, but why bother me with it???????? who even cares whether she becomes a mom or not? if they go that route, they go that route, if they don't, they don't.

butt.

i will also say that if starlight didn't ever want kids or had some sort of issue with adopting one, she probably would have freaked out the first second hughie mentioned 'may have signed us up to adopt a kid'. she was pretty unfazed in response so it either just wasn't something she cared to give much attention to in that moment (half because she wouldn't mind/half because more important topics at hand), or her and hughie *are* actually at the stage in their relationship where kids aren't necessarily the goal, but they're okay with becoming parents and have probably talked about it (at least once, generally an important conversation for a healthy het couple that is sexually active)

and why in satan's red hellscape would you designate her as a 'protective auntie' specifically to bar her from 'good mom energy'?????????? first of all, WHAT?? who are you to decide that for another woman?????? how do you even decide *for another woman* 'yeah, she likes kids but def never wants any of her own'??? leik wut?? when did she say *anything* even remotely implying this???????????

why do *you* get to speak for *her*?????? what the hell are you even basing this assumption on????????????

and second, why couldn't she be both???? people can be *both* moms to one kid and aunts to others. if your mom has siblings(or super close family friends/besties), and her siblings(besties) have kids, which would be your cousins(or conisdered family), she's an aunt too(or could be considered one)!

and if mom's sibling is a sister and they both have kids, wouldn't ya know, they're *both* mom/auntie combos!!

leik where is the logic here?????????????

shoot, we might even see them actually adopt a kid (maybe teddy stillwell) if that paperwork did actually go through and i could def picture hughie freakin' out but annie bein' a total boss about it (also lmao would be kinda great since the kid's powers match hughie's, could also picture butcher pushing hughie to adopt teddy specifically to use him... FFFFFFFFFFFFFF--)

butt~ there's also leaked spoilers of a pregnancy reveal in the next season, big chance it could be starlight's, leik big enough to make a safe bet i'd guess, but who knows.

otherwise, i mean if you wanna write starlight not being a mom in fanfic, that's an option. it is free. have at it.

just maybe don't bother the people who do make her become a mom in their own fics or want to see that in the show, or try to implement your personal vision of 'what starlight should be' onto them, that much is a bit of a dick move. (you can make your own meta and nicely discuss but this ask is hella weird)

leik you could have just been honest and said 'i don't want starlight to have kids' and it would have made a 1000 times more sense and been more valid than whatever the hell this thing was.

i ramble a ton but don't care one way or another, which just makes this extra weird anon. honestly wtf. this might make more sense if i gushed about starlight becoming a mom as much as i did about butcher getting impregnated~<3 but i've only ever mentioned it in passing, probably once or twice?? normally in reference to predictions for *if* ryan survives, which i've made pretty clear i'm *not* holding out for. (that kid died in the comic by butcher's hand, given the parallels with the kid accidentally killing his mom in both comic and show, i'm expecting a similar parallel for him and butcher eventually) you sure this one was meant for me???

also, the way things are going + leaked spoilers, maybe don't be surprised if she does in fact become a mom in canon? (or if butcher causes her to have a miscarriage i guess. would not put it past him... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF--)

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strawhatsoraya · 2 years

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i love dreamweaver fic! Can i request a some similar for Law with a crush on a reader with a complex by her small chest? I love one piece but i miss the lack of female body diversity :( Maybe someone tells her something very mean and she's sad for the rest of the day and later drunk she speak with him about her complex and things heat up a little >:3

Hello dear! I know it's been a long time since you sent this ask. I am so sorry for my slowness. I have no particular reason other than I am slow lol, and I lose track of time very easily as well. Law would definitely like anyone regardless of the size of their chest. I wrote a little something and not sure if it's what you had in mind. It's a bit lengthy. I assume you wanted some NSFW since Dreamweaver is a NSFW work. Thank you for requesting! You are so kind. I hope you didn't get tired of waiting and come back to read this. Wish I could tag my anons!

Use Your Words

LAW X FEM READER | NSFW, SHE/HER WORD COUNT: 4.6k (I tried making it shorter but it didn't feel right) CONTENT WARNINGS: Alcohol consumption (sue me), unprotected sex (honestly these guys need to start carrying something imo), nipple play, biting, groping, vaginal penetration, Law is a little mean in this but I feel like that's just who he is by nature lmao, praise kink, slight dom!law, some student/teacher roleplaying if you squint, if you get to the end you might get a hint of yandere!law idk, you tell me!! A SUMMARY: Y/N has always had an insecurity buried deep down inside, that she hides under a bright smile; however, it takes one comment too many one day to ruin her mood. Law can't help but meddle no matter what he says, and is determined to teach Y/N that beauty and pleasure comes in all kinds of sizes.

AT THE BEGINNING – THE SUN

As a child, you were raised like a flower. Watered carefully, watched over, protected from outside elements. You were meant to bloom in spring, but like a summer island, that season never came.

All you knew was blistering heat. A scorching sun. A lukewarm breeze that whispered promises into your hair. Weaved them like tinsel, like frail tendrils of hope.

So you had spread your arms in search for other waters, crooked roots shooting out of your fingertips. Away from your sisters, you learned what it really meant to be alive; to be more than just the spare, the doll like remembrance of your inferiority.

Gifts that you had been given, long buried in the dust of what made your bones, resurface under the right circumstances. The perfect sun. The perfect company. The perfect vessel for your adventures.

Aboard the Polar Tang, you think you forget all your little insecurities; tiny seeds of doubt you buried deep under the earth.

It isn't until the wrong words are sprinkled over their sleeping form, that they rise from their slumber. Gnawing away at your confidence, nibble by nibble. Your hardened shell falls away, exposing the softness inside.

You bring your arms around yourself in your best attempt at protection. When they words hit you, you pretend not to flinch but the sting remains; a blooming bruise in the back of your mind.

It had been the hottest day you had experienced in a long time. Sweat collected on the back of your neck, covering the soft hairs of your nape. You busily twist it and tie it up into a messy bun, unbothered by your skimpy attire. A bikini top had seemed more like a necessity than a bold choice in fashion at the time. You were tasked with gathering enough groceries for your next travel, and you had gone shop to shop, making sure not to miss a single thing. When you make it back to the shore, a small gathering is lounging on the hot sand.

It's quick, and light—the way they stab you with their words. A tiniest comment about the lack of filling in the triangles of your top. Tiny like a pebble, sharp like a knife. You plaster a smile on your face, so wide your cheeks start to hurt. The laugh that bubbles out of you sounds foreign to your ears. You had never laughed like that in your life. If they realized it they didn't show any signs. You laugh until they change the subject, fists clenched so tight your nails bight into the skin of your palms.

ONCE UPON DAWN

The taste is sour, bitter, acrid. You swallow it down until it fills your lungs, pushing out laughter that never reaches yours eyes. You go about your day, eagerly diving into every task available including those not assigned to you. Anything to take the edge off. Anything to keep the gears from spinning, endlessly, in your head.

He thinks he should look away. He thinks he should pretend not to see.

Pretending was less about lying to oneself, and more about a game of survival to Trafalgar D. Law. Pretending to not notice. Pretending to not care. What others didn't see they couldn't exploit. Law could simply not afford any weaknesses.

He watches you throughout the day, muttering convictions that don't stick under his breath. Any further involvement with you would be inadvisable.

Law reminds himself of this as he sits at the back table of the local pub. You have been drinking without much pause since the whole crew decided to go for dinner and drinks. Your voice was loud, unrestrained, and your laugh—for once that day—sounded a lot more like yourself. He hums contemplatively, a frown settling between his dark brows, at the realization. He had no business being so familiar with the sound of your laugh. He should continue to pretend not to know these details. Just like he should pretend not to see the flush on your cheeks, the hazy look in your eyes. He should continue to pretend that as Captain, he should give you freedom to expend energy as you see fit during your free time.

Instead, he stands up and walks over to your table. As captain, he tells himself, it's suddenly his duty to make sure you do not step outside your limits. He clasps the glass in your hand with long fingers. A gentle pull is all it takes to release it from your grasp. Your elbows on the table, head swaying slightly on your shoulders reminds him of your frailty; the one you had hid behind braided branches away from the view of others.

You look up at him through your lashes, a silly grin on your berry colored lips.

“Hey Cap'n,” you mumble. Law's amber eyes fall on the flush on your cheeks, the glistening drop of alcohol on your bottom lip. He takes a deep breath hoping to quell the sudden burning in his chest. “You should've said you were thirsty.” You pause to gesture at the bar, head bobbing with the swing of your arm. “The bar is open.”

There's a steely look to your eyes as you narrow them. Law smirks. He hadn't known you to be so possessive over your alcohol. The rim of the glass is cold against his lips, and he thinks he smells your breath on it—behind the heady scent of whiskey. The drink goes down smoothly as he throws it to the back of his mouth, finishing it in one large gulp. The burn that remains after reminds him to stay in the present, to not entertain fantasies that should always remain just that—erotic imaginative bedtime stories to be told in the dark.

His hand is warm when it clasps your bicep. Your legs feel gelatinous as he pulls you up, and you reach out blindly to steady yourself. You find yourself colliding with his chest, free hand grasping his unoccupied arm.

“Cap'n” you start again, shaking your head to clear your mind. Your hand lets go of his arm to pat his chest rhythmically. Law's grasp on your arm tightens. “If you wanted to talk, you could have just said so. You're very bad with words tonight.” He finds your choice of words comical. Law decides to show you as much by grinning widely.

“And you're very bad at drinking. You haven't realized you're at your limit?” he asks you with a tilt of his head. You bite down on your bottom lip, annoyance quietly rippling like waves through your body. It wasn't that you loathed his interference. It was just that the heat of his hand seeped through your skin with ease, flooding your mind with thoughts that had no business growing roots inside you. You didn't want to think about his touch on your skin, his lips on your mouth. You didn't want to think about his eyes roving over your body, and what would be running through his mind. Would he like what he saw? Would he laugh instead?

These thoughts scatter, dust you kick up with your feet, as Law half drags you away from the table and out of the pub. You're not sure how long it takes to breach the distance between the pub and the Polar Tang but before you know it you're being tossed on your bed.

You bounce, losing your balance, and fall on your back with your legs up, determined not to get your dirty shoes on your blanket. Law frowns down at your ankles, and grasps them, mumbling under his breath. “If you want them off, you should use your words,” he mutters, repeating your sentiments from earlier. “Hypocrite.”

You watch him quietly, weighing words on your tongue, as he takes off your shoes and socks. He is meticulous, folding the socks into themselves before he twists his torso to and fro on your bed. His eyes are searching for something. You hum, and touch his shoulder tentatively with one foot. “Just toss them anywhere. I'll get them tomorrow,” you tell him. For your audacity, you earn an impassive look, one that makes the corners of your mouth twitch. “You're so rigid. Relax, Cap'n,” you tell him, moving your foot towards his rib cage, poking his sides with your toes. He squirms immediately, and moves away.

“Disgusting,” he says when he finally sees a pile of laundry stacked up on a small sack which he assumed you used as a hamper. “You'll make the room smell like this.”

“Least of my worries!” you cry out from the bed, kicking your legs up again. You hold them up straight in the air as your hands go to your chest. “You think I care about laundry right now? I'm having the worst day of my life!”

Dramatic, Law thinks as he turns from tossing the socks on your hamper. He could think of worse days on the spot, if he was the type to expand on such subjects. When he turns to face you, he becomes increasingly distracted with the way you keep clutching your breasts. Law takes a sharp breath through his nose and expels it noisily out of his mouth. A rustling in his chest, a beast moving underneath crushed leaves, begins to wake. His hands find the pockets of his jeans. Law shoves his fingers as deep as they'll go but the jeans are so tight the task is needlessly complicated.

“Stop it,” he tells you, exasperated with himself and your foolishness. He walks over to your bed, and kicks the mattress. Twice. “What is going on with you today?” You always found the lighting of the submarine to be atrocious, casting yellow where it had no place, but when Law turns his face to look down at you, it nearly takes your breath away. Yellow wasn't so bad after all.

“Do you think I'm unattractive?” you ask him, mind buzzing. A tingling takes over your body. You try to distract yourself by pushing on his shoulder with another foot again but he grabs your ankle immediately.

“What?” he breathes out. A thick brow arches high on his forehead as a crooked smile takes over his mouth. “Where did you get that idea?” What Law wanted to ask was why were you talking about this suddenly? It should have been the right thing to say. Instead, he feared he opened a can of worms he wasn't ready to slay.

When you choose to speak next, his fears are confirmed: “So you think I'm attractive.”

He scowls before he can't reign it in. He finds the amusement in your eyes deplorable. The way your plush mouth purses into a smug grin is unforgivable. You should be punished for it, but he refrains. Instead, he brushes his thumb against the softness of the inside of your ankle.

“I didn't say that but--” he trails off, following the length of your leg to your body. His eyes roam, growing darker, over your belly to your chest where your hands still grasped soft flesh. “Did something happen today?”

He should mind his business. He should leave you to your drunk ramblings, and let you cry yourself to sleep. You'd be over it in the morning. He was sure of it, but something about the misty look in your eyes tethers him to you; to that spot with your ankle in his hand. He sits slowly, adjusting your leg over his shoulder.

“Well,” you stammer nervously, watching him as he turns his face slowly to drop a fluttery kiss on the inside of your ankle. “There's only so many comments you can take about having a flat chest before a girl is allowed to have a meltdown, ya know.”

Law rolls his eyes. He can't help it. He is annoyed at you, at this situation, and at himself. This was beyond ridiculous.

“You're not a child. You know better than to listen,” he kisses your ankle again before gently brushing your leg off his shoulder. You allow your leg to fall on the bed, and you stay still where you lay, afraid that if you move you'd cross a line that should never be crossed. “There is nothing wrong with your breasts. You know that.”

You shrug. Law watches you, careful to keep his breathing in check. Your hair is spread over the pillow, a dark ink that beckons him to fall deeper and deeper. Your eyes are still slightly hazy from the alcohol, but there's a sparkle in the dark that promises a worthwhile adventure. He wouldn't be a pirate if he didn't seize the opportunity with both hands, now would he?

A terrible excuse, he is aware, even as he lowers himself over your body. He traps you between his arms, one hand pressing down on the bed on each side of your head.

“Use your words,” he orders you, his voice dark and loaded; a gun with unrecognizable ammo. If it burns, tears, or cuts you're not sure. All you feel is blood gushing from open wounds. You try to cover them by reaching out, grasping his shoulders with two shaking hands. “What do you want?”

“I want to feel wanted,” you mumble, arching your back as he comes closer. His mouth brushes against your jaw. His breath is hot against your skin. “No, I want to feel desired.” Yes, that was it. You wanted to be the reason for someone's madness. To be the reason their skin feels like an inconvenient barrier, like they would die of thirst if they did not kiss your mouth, if they did not lick your arousal from their lips. His mouth is against your ear as he laughs. You shiver when he licks the shell of it.

“Look at that,” he whispers, his hands finding your face. His body is heavy on yours when he settles on top of you but you don't protest. He looks down at you, darkness swirling behind golden eyes. “See how easy it is? Just for tonight,” he pauses to press his forehead against yours. Law rubs his nose against yours. “I'll give you a lesson. Make sure you learn well. I don't like repeating myself.”

His mouth presses gently against yours, enough to startle you. It's a tenderness you never expected from your captain, the Surgeon of Death. You gasp in shock, and he seizes the opportunity, slipping a tongue past your lips. The taste of whiskey lingers on the inside of your cheeks. Law casts it out with soft strokes, replacing it with memories of him. You shut your eyes tightly, hoping they don't stay. You don't want to deal with the repercussions of having scars in your mouth in the shape of his name.

His hands are soft and warm over your breasts. He squeezes them gently, at first, measuring. He pulls away from your kiss to watch you. Your back arches as he brushes a thumb over your erect nipples over your clothes.

“You don't wear a bra,” he comments. His eyes are on your breasts, a frown deeply nestled between his brows. You flush at his plainness. It was such an off handed comment to make, you're not sure why you're embarrassed.

“I never saw a need,” you tell him, returning his frown. He doesn't see yours, however, too preoccupied with the way his hands can cover your breasts entirely. “They're small enough that I don't need one. It's just an unnecessary expense.”

Law chuckles, letting go of your breasts to grasp the edge of your shirt. He pulls it up, and rolls the edge under your chin. The air is cool against your breasts, and you shudder.

“I do like that about you,” he murmurs, leaning forward to kiss the space between your breasts. “You're so practical.” There were so many good qualities about you. He didn't understand why you were obsessing over your breasts. He hums against your skin, brushing his cheek against one breast. His skin is scratchy where stubble is starting to grow from this morning's shave. You shiver again, and suck your teeth, annoyed at the impudence of your body. “And sensitive,” he notes with a small smile as he looks up at you through his lashes. He grins, wicked and youthful, before he flicks out his tongue to lick around one nipple.

Your skin is soft under his callused hands. His eyes flutter close at the feel of your nipple around his curled tongue. Your body responds so easily to him, he feels in a trance. Every twist of his fingers around your other nipple, makes you moan. He smiles as he sucks noisily, trying to bring as much as your breast into his mouth as possible. It is greed and lust that propels him, eyes soon too clouded to see reason.

“You're so soft,” he mumbles against the swell of your breast. His teeth snagging on your skin. You clamp down on your lip to keep from crying out. “And you smell good. You feel good too. You want to cum, don't you?” he asks you when he moves to the other breast, leaving teeth marks as he bites his way there. “I know you do. I'll let you cum as long as you keep being a good girl. Just like this.”

There's a stiffness in his jeans, an erection that tries to demand his attention. He ignores it for the sake of another moan, another shudder, another whimper you try to smother on the back of your hand. Law pulls away from your nipple with a pop, drool slowly dripping from a corner of his mouth down his chin. You watch the light catch it on its way down, winking at you deviously.

“If you do that,” he says reaching up to pull your hand away from your mouth by the wrist. He grips it tightly in his hand. “I can't hear you, and I'll stop. Is that what you want?” You shake your head silently, eyes pleading. Law chuckles as he brings your hand to his mouth, kissing your wrist, the inside of your palm. He brings your hand to his head, and interlocks his fingers with yours.

“Grip here,” he commands as he stoops back down to your breasts. Whether it was his commanding tone, or the way he grips your nipple between his teeth, you're not sure but your fingers pull on his hair as you yelp, pleasure making your toes curl. He moans against your breast as he sucks noisily. You feel drool covering your breasts, a combination of heat and cool as the wind sweeps over the wetness. Your breathing is erratic, little pants puffing past your lips. “Good,” he mumbles around your nipple, sucking harder the more you moan. “Just like that. But next time,” you feel his lips stretch against your skin. “Pull harder.”

His hands drift to your hips as he sucks. When you pull on his hair, hard just like he wanted, he moans. His fingers dig into your hips and he pulls you close against him. His hardened cock twitches in his jeans and he shakes his head as he pulls away, trying to get rid of his hair in his vision. You reach out tentatively, brush your fingers across his forehead to push back his raven tendrils. They're covered in his sweat, and it coats your fingertips.

There's a sharpness in the way he looks at you, the way his jaw tenses. You think you've made a mistake but you have no time to ponder on it. He wraps his arms around your waist and flips both of you over, until you're laying on top of him—breathless. You blink down at him, stupefied. Law chuckles and slaps your ass, the sound echoing in the room. You jolt and yelp.

“Don't fall asleep on me now. We're in the middle of class,” he tells you with his hands on your hips. Your shirt has fallen back over your breasts, and you shift your weight uncomfortably. The cloth over your sensitive nipples feels like too much, and his cock underneath your heated core is thick and beguiling. You bring a shoulder up, trying to hide your embarrassment. “Take off your clothes,” Law tells you. You look at him, mouth partially opened. Law pats one of your thighs. “Come on. Now.”

You grip the ends of your shirt and pull it over your head. His gaze is on you. You can't see it as you undress, but you feel it. You feel the way his eyes scorch your skin when you slide off him, to pull your pants all the way down. You feel his amusement, as you struggle to take off your panties. Once naked, you're kneeling on the bed, trying to cover your breasts with your arms. It was stupid, you were aware, considering you currently had bruises blooming over them in the shape of Law's teeth. Still, you couldn't help being self conscious.

“That won't do. You keep doing things I told you you're not allowed to do,” he says from his position on the bed. Somewhere along the way, while he watched you struggle with your clothes doing his best to bite down laughter, Law had done away with his as well. He laid on his back, thick cock erect and flush against his lower belly. You swallow at the sight of his dark hair, curled around the base of his cock. You follow up the thin trail that ends at his belly button, mouth watering.

“Fine,” you say, bringing your arms down. You crawl towards him, slowly, enjoying the way his lips part more the closer you get. His mouth is hanging open slightly by the time you straddle him. You move against his length, smearing the wetness of your arousal on him. Law hums, hands finding the softness of your hips. He grips them tightly.

“Good girl,” he says, one hand reaching between his cock and your pussy. His hand finds your folds, and you gasp as he parts them with his fingers, making sure you're sliding your entrance up and down his cock. “That's better. Keep going. I want to feel how wet you are.” He hisses at the feel of you, slowly dragging your hips. You're hot, and wet, so slippery it makes his lashes flutter. He wants to be buried deep inside you. He wants to feel your gummy walls sucking him in, clamping around him when you cum but he's determined to see this through.

It might be his one chance, so he needed to make sure you learned well; learned to never speak lies in his presence, to learn his touch, and the feel of him. He needed you to learn, to understand, that once he fucked you—you'd never be the same.

Law growls, top lip curled as a particularly treacherous stroke of your hips slides against his reddened tip. He's had enough. “Put it in,” he hisses as he leans forward. He picks you up slightly by the hips. You gasp, hands gripping his chest until your nails leave marks. Another growl is stuck in his throat. “Now.”

You're also at your limit. You want nothing more than to feel his thickness inside you, pushing against all your boundaries. You reach down with one hand, and guide him towards your entrance. With his hands on your hips, he lowers you slowly, and he enters you inch by inch. Your mouth drops in a silent moan. You can't look away from his face, captivated by the way his bottom lip quivers. You love the sight of his brows knitting together in pleasure, as if he couldn't believe how good it felt.

There's no time to waste. Law encourages you, whispers orders from where he laid covered in sweat. You start bouncing lightly, enjoying the way your pussy is stretched to its limit. You whimper as you bounce faster, harder, feeling him deeper and deeper as your confidence grows. Law leans forward to pull you closer, to bring his mouth to your breasts. He sucks on your nipples as you bounce. “Ah!” you cry out, lights flickering against your vision. “Wait. If you do that--” Law cuts you off with a hiss.

“If I do, then what?” he hisses against your skin, kissing up your chest, and up the column of your neck. He licks along the underside of your chin. “You'll cum? That's the whole point, love. Or did you forget? I need you to pay closer attention.” He chuckles against your pulse before sucking on it. Law starts moving his hips, thrusting upwards as you bounce. You cry out with each thrust, his movements growing faster, rougher, losing any kindness he had afforded you before. “You're going to fail this lesson if you don't keep up.”

You throw your head back in ecstasy. A moan starts softly and grows louder, a wailing song that you're sure could be heard outside your corner of the Polar Tang. It should embarrass you, douse you with shame like the sweat that covers your body but you don't care. All you care about is chasing the pleasure that Law's cock gives you. You increase your pace, slapping your hips against his. His balls are heavy, occasionally hitting your ass when he thrusts upwards. The sound is lewd, enticing, encouraging.

“Keep going,” he pants against your neck, holding you tightly against him. You yell, golden sparks of light blinding you. You shut your eyes tightly, as the coil inside you tightens so deadly you feel you might suffocate. “You're doing so good. You feel so good around my cock. So wet, and tight. You're taking me so well.” He drags his lips away from your neck, where he had sucked hard enough to leave bruises. He pushes his mouth against yours with a soft growl. “Good girl,” he whispers before sucking on your bottom lip.

Maybe it was those words, or maybe it's the kiss. You're not sure but you feel yourself fall apart. You cry out, bury your fingers in his hair as you cum. Your tight gummy walls clamp around his cock, milking him towards his own orgasm. When he cums, he keeps you on his lap, fucking up into you. His cum is hot, and slippery, some of it sliding down his length and on to his pelvis burying into his dark hair. You feel possessed, something encouraging you to continue bouncing on his lap.

Law grins against your cheek, and kisses across it to your temple. He tries to hide his grin in your hair. A grin full of self satisfaction and perhaps a little sinister. He feels like the cat who just swallowed the canary whole—bones, feathers, beak and all.

“That's my good girl,” he says, stroking your hair as he holds your head against the side of his face. He grins at the opposing wall as your hips slow down. You're mewling in his ear, as if starved, as if you couldn't get enough. He had been right, you needed this lesson. He had had his eyes on you for a while, pretending he didn't want you, pretending he could ignore you. Now, he finally has you right where he always had fantasized about—eating out of the palm of his hand. “You stay right there for as long as you like.” He winces at one particular bounce, his cock still painfully hard. “I have so much more to teach you.”

#law x you #law x y/n #law x reader #law smut #trafalgar law smut #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #one piece x reader #one piece smut #for the cummunity!#fic request

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velvette3 · 8 days

Text

Draft #2

WARNINGS: long post, rant post, mentions of sh and suicide, and a lot of other things, personal rant(s), LIKE REALLY LONG POST, please do not read unless you think you are comfortable with repetition, and idk what else. I am a warning in itself.

(4/2/24) (mentions of sh and suicide)

It’s 1:38 in the morning. I don’t really know anymore. I’m just so worried I won’t amount to anything. My stepsister has always been better than me at everything. I still remember my middle school and high school years when I heard my mother and step-father talking shit about their kids, about my step-brothers. But I hardly ever heard them utter a bad word about my step-sister. I became something I didn’t want to be in my high school years, in hopes I could live up to my sister, hoping maybe it would make sure I wasn’t the next kid they talked shit about.

I already knew at the time that they didn’t really take me seriously back then. Not when it came to my morals anyways.

At times when one or the other was driving, I would have to text the other. And that was when visiting my father was mandatory. So every once in awhile, the message would pop up “you pick up the brat yet?”

I know they never meant it in that way. At least I hoped not. But honestly being someone I wasn’t, and being someone I’m not still, to this day, it sucks. I hate having to pretend to my parents, even to this day, despite my independence. I’m just so worried about acceptance, that I find it hard to face them. I fear telling my parents (on both sides) anything.

Mainly, because when they first found out about the self harm in middle school, it was a difficult situation. They said they wanted to help me. And then they took me to a therapist for a total of three-five times before they said ‘this isn’t working fast enough’ and pulled me out of it. I was always scared of being yelled at when I made mistakes. That lead to me fearing ever telling my parents anything, including my own emotions.

For a long time, once I finally lived with my mother again, I never saw her cry. I only ever saw her angry, or happy. But I never saw her sad. That made me think that being sad wasn’t normal, or that, I shouldn’t be sad about anything because she wasn’t. The reason she hid any of her sadness was because she didn’t want her own child worrying about her.

But her hiding her own emotions from me made me feel like I had to suppress mine as well. So I never trusted my parents with my emotions, either.

But I guess it didn’t help that they always said I was either ‘overreacting’ or just being a ‘drama queen’. Go this day idk if they were right, or if they were just, avoiding it.

I don’t know which one I’d want it to be. Because if they were wrong, and that my emotions were actually valid, what would that mean for me? For them? Would it make it seem like they had neglected my own emotional and mental well-being? If they were wrong, if they thought because of my overreacting and drama queen the fancies that my emotions weren’t valid, then what is the limit to validate emotions? What would it have taken for them to stop accusing me of overreacting or being a drama queen?

They never made me feel valid. They still don’t. The only good throng I’ve done so far with my life, is get good grades. It’s been so long since I heard one of my parents (step or not) say they were proud of me, so when they got the letter in the mail about my good grades in online schooling, when that happened and they said they were proud, I almost cried.

It’s strange.

For a long time back in middle school-high school, I desperately wanted to die. I didn’t want to live in a world where everyone would judge me for my smallest of mistakes and ignore my feats.

I knew that, being the youngest, I was my parents last chance to have a child they were proud of. Everyone else but my stepsister had failed to be a kid that my parents were proud of (or at least didn’t talk shit about). I knew that if I didn’t want to be talked shit about, I’d either have to leave, or change.

I was so done, with the world. I hated myself for my failures, I hated the way I had been raised. But I also hated myself, because I had no reason to. Im not living on the streets, I have a family, I have food, I had shelter. I shouldn’t have been sad. “It couldve been worse”, as the mentality goes. I didn’t deserve to be sad, and it made me feel worse. I felt like all I was doing was trying to gain attention, even though that’s not what I wanted. I thought I was being selfish because of my own emotions, and it still gets fucked in my head sometimes.

Back in my freshman year of high school, a girl (which for the sake of her identity and name I will not be naming), had hung herself in her closet. Rumor was because she was having problems at home.

Way back in middle school, even. A girl in my 8th grade year tried to kill herself. She planned it all out. She wanted to hang herself in the bathroom, and if she couldn’t do that, she had some sort of sharp object to try and slit her throat. She couldn’t hang herself, and she cut her throat, barely enough to bleed. It was not deep or long enough to kill her, only to sting. When her parents saw the injury on her neck, she got in trouble for it, and was threatened to sent to a mental hospital, with padded walls.*

I knew both those girls, in a sense. And I knew that the one from high school had it worse than I did. I felt shitty. I felt like I had no reason to be sad.

Like I had no validation, because I wasn’t supposed to show that much emotion in front of others, because what I learned from my mother without her knowing, was to surppress the sadness. I want to amount to something, I want to be something my family can be proud of. I don’t want to be the next disgrace, I don’t want to be the person without control of her emotions. I don’t want to become a failure because I lost, or because I couldn’t do what I needed to do.

4/5/2024

Time is going by so quick, it’s killing me. Just today with my grandmother. I went to stay with my father for the weekend, so I’m going back to her house Sunday night to spend the eclipse with her. But as she left the house which I’m staying with my father and his girlfriend, I feared ‘what if this is the last time I see her?’

She is less than 20 years younger than my GREAT grandmother who died only a few months ago.

I love this grandmother with all my heart (I’ll call her grandma J from now on), and I’d hate to see her die, at all. I’m literally going to see her on Sunday, only two days from now, why am I worrying so much? Why did I wonder if it would be the last time I see her?

I’m so scared. I’d be lost without her, she has been my rock for a long time. Even though she is heavily Christian, and I don’t feel as connected, I always feel better after spending some time with her, (whether we speak of God or not). I grew up, spending every other weekend with her instead of my father, because he wasn’t able to take care of me where he lived for a long time. I lived with Angela (another grandmother of mine who I HATE) for the first seven years of my life. Spending every other weekend with my Mother, and the weekends I didn’t spend with my mom, I spent with Grandma J. Things have changed heavily since then, I barely remember that time in my life.

But my grandma J. She means everything to me. I always leave her house happier than when I left it. No one else does that for me.

I’m so, so fucking TERRIFIED, of who I’ll be, where I’ll be mentally, when she’s gone.

I’m so so scared…

(4/8/2024)

It’s 12:41, so technically eclipse day. Had a serious talk w my grandmother. I told her I was Ace, (not the pan-romantic part, but yk) and she was pretty okay w it. Especially when I told her I wasn’t gonna have children of my own creation (I might adopt, cause I wanna make a home to those kids who don’t have one yk?) and I just got really emotional. It doesn’t matter how many times I fucking say it, I am so scared to lose her. I cried, thinking this may be the last time I see her. You never know. She almost got hit on her way to see me on Thursday last week! I know she might be gone soon and I am not ready for it. It may be a last time for everything, and I’m so so so fucking scared words can’t even describe it. Not through type/text. If I were recording myself, you’d hear my ugly crying, and my voice in general breaking so no. But the point is, I dunno what’s gonna happen. My future, and hers, scares me to death. When she’s gone… I may as well be too.

So if I disappear for a long time, you will know why.

If I go batshit crazy (whether it’s lashing out, or self-isolation, or pretending to be fine [ya know, the stages of grief]) you know why.

This woman is one of my few rocks. My grandmother, and my eldest blood brother, who I shall call ‘E’ for the sake of keeping their identities secret.

I, don’t know what’ll happen to me once either of them are gone. Same with my parents, but I trust my brother and grandmother more than I do them, so it will be harder to lose them, as much as it may seem crazy to say.

I’m scared. I know I keep saying it, but every day I spend, is another closer to my grandmother’s inevitable death. I hate the thought, yet it keeps coming back since my GREAT grandmother died a few months ago. It’s not fun.

I hate feeling this terrified.

I feel paralyzed, like a record skipping, the never ending thought(s).

It’s horrible.

(4/12/24) 12:43 am

I don’t think I’m good enough.

I keep failing myself and others, over and over again. I want to help people, but it’s so fucking frustrating when they won’t accept it. I get it, sometimes it’s hard to accept help. But (per specific example) when I’m asked for help for the smallest of things like understanding some work, and you apologize a million times, it hurts. I hate seeing people I care about apologizing. I don’t know how to help them because they refuse to let me do so. I just, feel like I’m failing them. I can’t help them and it makes me feel like shit.

I wanna help people. At this point, the people I care about, and my drive to help them always, is the only reason I’m alive. The past few years since I last therapied someone, have been shitty. I hadn’t been able to help others and it just went by so fast, and almost without any emotion. It was awful, I felt lost. I lost my will to write, read, and draw. I lost everything about myself. When I picked up drawing again I cried because I thought I lost what little talent I had because it was shit at first. I don’t even know who I am. Am I even who I used to be, or am I a carbon copy of my successful step-sister?

I forced myself to change in high-school so my parents would be proud of me, so that I would be successful.

So I wouldn’t struggle in my future, so I could get a scholarship to college so I wouldn’t be drowning in debt like my mother was most of my life.

I just wanted a steady life. And one without the shit talk my parents would do behind their kids’s backs.

Fuck I’m so tired of it.

I feel so useless damnit. I feel worthless. I don’t want to be here anymore, I just want peace. Because these thoughts, these voice keep coming back no matter what. Telling me I’m not good enough, that I don’t try hard enough and that I’m too lazy, that I make up excuses. But when I try to say I did try, they always say I didn’t push myself enough. I dunno, do I not try hard enough? I dunno. I’m just so sick of this endless battle and I want it to be done. One day I want those people to realize it was an act. I want my parents to realize that they fucked me up. That they put too much expectation on me without their own realization. I want them to know that the therapy they took from me only made it worse. Then being upset over one singular missing assignment (that we’re hardly ever my fault) only made it worse. That threatening to put me in an asylum at the age of 13 only made it worse. That talking shit about my step-siblings right in front of me only made my fear worse. That hiding their emotions from me only made it worse. Cause god fucking damnit I’m scared of you now! I’m scared to come to you for anything! I have to contact my brother, or my grandmother! And one day I might not even have them! You say I can trust you with anything but then you turn around and call me a drama queen, that I’m being too sensitive, that I’m overreacting, making up excuses, being a liar, just being lazy, not trying as hard as you know I can, stop making things a competition.

God damnit, what am I even doing? I’m nothing, nothing but a failure. I should be trying harder but here I am, still being lazy. And I’m just blaming everyone for it when it’s all my fault.

(4/13/24)

^i didn’t move on to someone else four days later. Just because me and my bf were friends didn’t mean we were together. And I never, EVER cheated on her. Sure, I found someone new and he’s my bf now, but at the same time me and her, we both realized we were never romantic with each other. And I broke up with her? She was the one who approached me and said that she felt like her feelings for me weren’t being returned (which was true, I realized. We called each other girlfriends but I felt like she was nothing more to a friend to me) and I thought she was okay with it. Mind you when she came up to me I thought she was going to ask me to an event, but instead she called it off. I thought it would be better suited that way anyways, and we both agreed on that but I did NOT break up with her! And apparently, when she talked to me, she was scared to tell me that I offended her every once in awhile by some things I said (which she never said what do I still don’t know and it’s fucking killing me), ^because she thought I was gonna blow up at her. Apparently I fucking scared them and I don’t even know I didn’t realize they felt that way and just about a month ago I get this message on top of it like.

I probably should’ve realized I was a piece of shit. I was just like that bitch from high school we all collectively hated. God I’m so fucking sorry…

I thought we were still friends. This is a message I got from them through my old asf Wattpad account that is cringe. That I stopped checking until I saw that post today. They never intended for me to read that message so soon. They even said so themselves but fuck.

I’m sorry, to you both. I know you’ll never see this. But I’m so so so sorry, I didn’t realize.

I’m trying I am TRYING to never do this again but I still do this shit to people, don’t I? I just Fuckin manipulate and hurt them. I can’t just, spout off my trauma or whatever the fuck and shit like that! I know that now and I feel so fucking bad damnit… I didn’t realize I promise I am so sorry.

Why didn’t you say anything? I should’ve noticed, you shouldn’t have HAD to say anything after the fact I should’ve just known. Why can’t I see these things? I never see red flags, I never see my OWN red flags and manipulate tendencies until someone points them out. Why can’t I read social cues and shit?

God I’m trying, but I’m not at all, am I?

I just hate that I didn’t realize! I didn’t break up with her she broke up with me! We both agreed it was better, but I guess she was a lot more hurt by it than she let on and I thought we resolved things but. God fucking damnit.

I can’t ever do this to anyone I REFUSE! I can’t do this, I can’t put this pressure on people ever again, I don’t want to push them away. I never want this to happen again I don’t want to hurt people like this again.

I lost my two closest friends. And I didn’t even fucking realize it.

Fuck I don’t know what I’m going to do. I already apologized like a million times for scaring them with my slight anger issues, but I never actually hurt hurt them physically I didn’t realize I lashed out at them and I didn’t realize I was forcing them to listen to my problems. I thought they were okay with helping me but they didn’t say anything all because they were scared and I just.

I’m fucking freaking out, but I need to calm down. I need to calm down, and just breathe, and everything will be fine. Fuck it’s now 1:14 am I shouldn’t be thinking right now it’s dangerous.

But fucking damnit, I knew I shouldn’t have just dumped all my shit onto them but FUCK.

I need a fucking therapist for that, not my FUCKING FRIENDS.

God what is wrong with me, making my friends my therapists?

Fuck. I lost my friends, I almost have no one left Irl except for this one small friend group, which has drama and way too many sex jokes for me to even want to be IN it anymore. But they’re all I got and we stick together until the end. Most days I don’t mind it, but sometimes I hate being one of the only girls in said friend group.

Fuck I don’t know what to do, I can’t tell my bf about this or else he’ll flip, and I can’t make him my therapist, that’s wrong I was told so! My bf has had it so much worse than I have I shouldn’t be freaking out about this as much, this is nothing compared to what him and so many others have gone through.

But damnit. I DONT have a therapist, not anymore, and I can’t ducking afford one or even talk my parents into helping me get one because as said before they think the process is too damn slow. I can’t fucking tell anyone without feeling bad and knowing I’m a shitty person, because until now I didn’t realize telling people my problems was a bad thing, that asking them to help me out as if they were my fucking therapist (WHICH THEY ARENT AM I STUPID? To just dump all that shit on them without them even saying if it was okay or not?) was a bad thing.

So I’m alone, but that’s fine. I can’t tell anyone anyways so that’s how it’s gotta be and I can live with that. I have for awhile. But I don’t want to be alone. But I’d rather struggle alone than hurt anyone else because I don’t want to lose anyone else, or hurt them, or push them away or scare them like I did with these two.

I don’t want to be w/o my friends. I don’t I really don’t.

I’m never doing that again I promise you I’ll never do it again. I’m so fucking sorry I never realized and I know I’m a piece of dirt shit for not realizing sooner, and for scaring you guys to the point you couldn’t communicate with me w/o fear on your end. I should’ve known and I am so so sorry.

Fuck I even talked to my brother and we have the same timezone I shouldn’t have bothered him. Thankfully he let me go quickly. Fuck I hope I didn’t scare him off either…

(4/14/24) 10:44 pm

I’m so tired. Tired of feeling useless and like a failure. If I fail the people I care about then I am NOTHING. I don’t care about myself, I don’t I just want to make people proud of me. I don’t want them thinking I’m a waste, I don’t want them seeing me the same way I do. Please oh fuck… I don’t want to be a disappointment. I really don’t. I don’t want to hurt people, I want to help them. I feel like an utter piece of shit. I can’t ever talk to my friends about my problems again im not doing that to anyone every again. That’s why this will never be posted, I can’t hurt anyone else with my stupid rants and tendencies. I feel like im manipulating and hurting people by being open with them and I don’t want pity I do not want that, I just want them to know I’m not perfect. And even that is scary because if I am not PERFECT in every single aspect then I failed.

I keep apologizing, sounding like a broken record of an ex trying to get their relationship back but I really am sorry. I talked to my step-father about what happened yesterday concerning my friends. He said that I was one of the nicest person he’s ever met, saying how he knows I try to go outta my way to avoid hurting people but what if he was lying? Cause what if I did say something mean?

I call people idiots and jerks a lot, but I never mean it! I normally mean it in a joking matter but that’s not really nice is it? I’m reeling trying to figure this out and I just want to know what I did wrong so I never do it again. I know not to spout my problems off like I did, I know to watch what I say but how am I supposed to watch EVERYTHING I say?

Fuck I don’t care what I have to do. I’ll do anything, anything to make sure I never hurt anyone like that again. Scaring people, hurting them, it’s so fucking scary to me. I don’t want to do that, that’s the person I aim to NOT be. I wanna help, I wanna heal! Not hurt and scare. I sound like a fucking broken record and it’s pathetic.

I can’t ever post this, it will only make things worse and it’ll only make me feel worse. Because if I post this draft, I’ll be forcing everyone who sees this to be my therapist and I swore to never do that again.

Fuck man. I want help. I’m actually asking for help for once, straight up saying it. But I can’t, the one time I want it, the only time I feel I need it, I can’t ask for it because it’s wrong to do so.

(4/18/2024)

I know that none of my “friends” will be texting me in my birthday this year. I’m not expecting them to text me this year, because I’ve lost all my friends. I don’t think anyone will care this time around. At first I was excited! But getting older isn’t fun at all. People start leaving, start to say things they held back, start to tell you things you didn’t notice before. You grow apart and soon you become alone.

I realize that I should be happy my family is texting me, cause sometimes people’s families don’t even text them. But it’s kinda a requirement, that’s your fam, they should know these things. And most of the time, they wish you happy birthday as an after thought. Friends don’t do that (unless they need to be reminded) but still.

I’m gonna miss those two.

(4/19/2024) 11:31 pm

It’s almost my birthday! Hah. What a cruel joke honestly.

I miss those two so much, every time I see the one who messaged me I instantly go quiet, turn my head away until I’ve walked past them. Fuck, I moved around so much during my elementary school years, those two were the longest friends I’ve ever made.

Everyone already has their best friends.

I’ll always be the outsider.

I really am alone aren’t I? That one friend that never gets invited, that hangs back.

The last one they pick to partner up w in classes kinda shit (which, is also true atm).

I’m alone and it sucks. I miss them so much. I don’t care what that one said, I want them back I just want my friends back.

I want my gossip gals back.

My face to face, same time-zone, Irl friends who I can trust my life with.

I’m losing people left and right. I can’t take it. I’m fucking crying less than 30 minutes before my birthday and it’s pathetic.

People are without families, without homes, and I’m crying over this?

Fuckin stupid…

#Vel’s drafts #vel rants/info dumps #sorry polycule #*im the girl from middle school #I was threatened to be put in a mental hospital #threatened that they would strip search me #I was scared out of wits #I still am to this day #I dunno anymore #(4/13/24) fuck I didn’t realize I was that bad #fuck fuck fuck

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honeystwiggypeach · 2 years

Note

Hello! I have a request if you don’t mind, can you please write about reader was pregnant with her boyfriend and he leaving her because the baby they were expecting was a girl and he only wanted a boy, so one day she meets her high school ex boyfriend again and they get together eventually and raise the baby girl together. Maybe a few of them have their own kids as well.

I was thinking that maybe you can write for sakusa, hinata, oikawa, sugawara and kuroo if it’s okay. If you wanna pick any other characters there’s not problem w that. Hope you’re doing well and have a nice day

Another question. Do you also write for jujutsu kaisen? Or any other anime besides the ones in your masterlist?

Hi hon!!!I can definitely write this for you!!!(I interpreted as the baby’s bio dad isn’t like sakusa!!) also I’m assuming you sent the MHA ask too!(if you do send multiple requests you can use a little emoji so I know who you are!! You don’t have to though!) I hope you’re having a good day too!!

Ok to adress the jjk and other animes!! I do write for jjk and I would love if someone sent a request for Toji like I would foam at the mouth and love you forever!!! Idk if I’d write for megumi though so🤷bestie I see you requested inumaki now😭😭he’s super cute too!!!(sorry I subject you guys to my thirst over single dads😞😞)also if you have another anime you want me to write for just let me know, send me an ask and I’ll let you know if I do or not!!(I don’t write demon slayer or Tokyo revengers though I haven’t watched them!)

Tw~ everything in the ask plus being a single mom! Idk what else guys read with caution because this isn’t tagged to great!!(it’s not angsty!)

Sakusa

When he’d seen you again in the little cafe he’d assumed you must be like wine only getting better with time, when the tiniest little mini you toddles up to the table he thinks he might melt into your hands.

From the moment he first saw you even in highschool he was whipped for you, he hated that his dad had forced him to breakup with you. In the end Kiyoomi ended up divorced at 27, all because of the marriage his dad had gotten him into and he couldn’t help but wish he was married to you.

So of course he doesn’t miss a beat when he gets the chance to marry you.

At the wedding the first gift you open is a small box of adoption paper work just needing your signature.

From than on Kiyoomi had promised to never be like his dad and he kept that promise as he raised your little girl as the ultimate little princess as he sat in tutus for tea parties with her.

Hinata

He was certainly shocked. Tobio, or better phrased your daughter uncle had walked out with your precious baby on his shoulder. Shoyo couldn’t her face quite exactly, that was until you emerged from the crowd giggling yourself.

Looking back as Shoyo gently rocks his recliner with his foot, your precious little daughter curled up at his side while he pats the new baby’s bottom.

Your daughter had been so excited to become a sister that Shoyo felt proud. She told him she’d wanted to be just like her daddy and her aunt Natsu!

Hinata thinks that maybe loosing you allowed you to find yourselves and that he’s alright with the way things turned out…

Oikawa

The minute he saw you in the mix of everyone he knew he couldn’t loose you again grabbing your wrist gently to ask if you could talk when you’d turned you had an adorable little baby girl bundled up in pink and white blankets.

Oikawa had stepped up the moment you forgave him, not wasting anytime, and before you knew it he’d worked his way back into your life.

You were glad he’d made his way back to you. You think as you sit on the porch, hand on your swollen tummy as Oikawa pushes both your daughter and son on the swing hanging from the tree you’d had your first kiss under.

Sugawara

He’d found you again through your daughter who you brought to the daycare.

He was incredibly excited when he saw your face and from there he knew he just had to wait a year to get back together, because you know conflict of interest and stuff.

So when you laid out the adoption papers your eight year old standing behind you as you hold your son on your hip he breaks down crying.

Of course he loved her as his own but to want it to be official???

Kuroo

When you’d told him after getting back together you had a daughter he was excited. He’d always wanted a baby!!! So when he sees the cutest little eight month old baby sat on the floor of your living room as she giggles wildly he vows to never leave your little family whether you liked it or not, he was going to look out for you.

And only a month in when you get home from work, you come into your daughter standing against his chest as she giggles. He stares up at her wide eyed as her chunky legs wobble as they support the weight of her little body.

You smile happily as you rush over to congratulate her telling Kuroo animatedly about how she was standing for the first time.

This may not be what you wanted and I’m sorry for that😭😭 tysm for requesting if you want to see anything else pls let me know id love to write it!!(also pls request dad!Toji with megumi because I want to write that so bad pls let me get a request for that🙏🙏)Anywho!!(if you want me to write anything besides jjk just send me an ask so I can tell you if I write for it!!)

#anons #requests #reader insert #x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu parents #haikyuu dads #mom!reader #Sakusa x reader #Hinata x reader #oikawa x reader #Sugawara x reader #Kuroo x reader

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mysweetland · 2 years

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Sunny and Basil 🌻☀

Let’s talk about Sunny and Basil’s relationship. (Because I’m in too deep but I don’t want to get out).

(Heavy spoilers from Omori, if you haven’t played all the routes the game yet, please don’t read this until you do >.<)

With that being said, this is just my humble opinion, I’m open to all interpretations and I do not wish to engage in a shipping battle, that is definitely not my intention. Idk why I decided to write a whole essay but I love them too much, okay? 😂 also, if you like Omori and Sunflower, let's talk. I have so much to say 🙈

(This turned out very long skngfl)

Okay, here we go:

I’ve always thought that Sunny and Basil’s relationship is very interesting. They are each other’s anchors in a way, have been since they met. I do not think that either Sunny or Basil would ever find what they found in each other in someone else. Though they can be close to Aubrey, Kel, Hero and Mari, there’s some sort of chemistry between them both that can’t be unmatched with anyone else.

Now, I do not mean to say that the other relationships they have aren’t important or that they don’t love their friends enough. But I think there’s some sort of unspoken and natural reciprocity between Sunny and Basil. Whether it’s romantic or fully platonic is up to interpretation, but it’s there.

If we’re talking romantically, then I think this reciprocity doesn’t happen between Sunny and Aubrey, for example. I think that they have a great friendship, they understand each other, Sunny used to listen to her talk and vent all the time and, well, he canonically has (had?) feelings for her. But I fully believe she never reciprocated his crush in real life. There’s no doubt that Aubrey appreciates him, but I don’t think she ever fell for him in that way. And, if she ever did when they were kids, I doubt she does now in the future, where she already has a new group of friends and other things to worry about. Everything that happens in Headspace is fully idealized by Sunny. He wanted her to like him, so he made the version of her that he wanted to see.

Though, well, I don’t think Sunny likes Basil back either canonically but some things I will be talking about next might possibly prove this statement very wrong 😂. Still I think that Sunny regards Basil with a lot of fondness and appreciation that only exists towards him and not towards his other friends.

Anyway, let’s talk about Basil for a moment.

Basil

So… It is heavily implied that Basil has feelings for Sunny. There’s no doubt he thinks of him as his best friend and appreciates him so much that it leads to him supporting him the best he can. I truly think he was and is in love with him and maybe, the fact that he’s been so lonely in the past made him attach to Sunny more than he had to.

We know about this already, it is shown in the game openly in a lot of scenes. And well, the perfect evidence is the way he regarded Sunny as perfect and refused to accept that he was the one who killed Mari…………… But let’s not go here.

Or, actually, let’s go there for a moment. Basil idealizes Sunny a lot, he puts him on a pedestal most of the time and tries his best to protect him and save him (even if he does it wrong in a lot of situations, but he was just a child back then). I have a point to make about this at the end of this, so stay tuned? lmao.

What about Sunny, though? He has some sort of strong attachment towards Basil, he can even idealize him in his mind. Basil is not the only one doing this.

But well… it’s not explicitly told to us. So, for that, let’s dive into the depths of Sunny’s mind.

Headspace

So we know headspace is Sunny’s dream world. The happy place he chose to stay in for 4 years, where everyone loves him and appreciates him, where his sister is still alive and safe. He has not done anything wrong in Headspace, Omori is just a sad boy that has the support of all his friends.

In there, we discover his desires, his dreams and what he thinks of other people. Of course, we see his fears and brief representations of his guilt over Mari’s death.

But why am I bringing this up when I’m supposed to talk about his relationship with Basil? Well…

It’s always been interesting to me how Basil is different from everyone in Headspace. Everyone else is represented by purple and shades of blue, Basil is emerald, just like his eyes. He stands out the most in his group of friends, as much as Omori does.

And you could say that it makes sense because, well, Basil knows the truth, he was there the day Mari died, he “helped” Sunny, that’s why he stands out too. But… if Sunny saw Basil the way he sees himself, blamed Basil the way he blamed himself, he would’ve been black and white in Headspace just like Omori is. A thing that doesn’t belong in that happy and comforting place… right?

Instead, however, he’s pastel. He’s an idealized version of Basil, with no defects whatsoever, a kind soul, always smiling and willing to be there for his friends. It shows after their fight with Boss specifically, when Basil just forgives him and treats him with kindness.

It’s interesting to me that he’s like this in Headspace, because it shows how Sunny sees him and how much he regards Basil in a shiny light, always wearing a flower crown that I know Sunny found attractive in real life. In a sense, DW Basil is perfect.

And not only that but… why is Basil the only one of his friends in Headspace that has an actual house? Well, I guess Kel, Hero and Aubrey have Neighbor’s room and Mari her… picnic blanket (?) but…Hm. I guess Sunny has spent a lot of time at Basil’s house, otherwise he wouldn’t have recreated his house in his dreams, even if it’s a shoe lmao.

Stranger

I wanted to briefly talk about Stranger because of this line specifically:

"On that day... When you became nothing... I was split in half."

It’s brought to my attention that there are two Basils in headspace. DW Basil, the version of him Sunny likes the most, the one he idealizes and the one he wants to look for and keep safe. And we have Stranger, the part of Basil he doesn’t— I’m not gonna say he doesn’t like it, it’s more like that part of him scares Sunny. Stranger encourages Omori to accept the truth, embrace it and that is something unacceptable in his mind.

Stranger is Basil’s cry of help. It makes me think Basil has asked him to help him a million times, makes me think he’s gone visit him at some point and it all ended up worse than ever. Or not, maybe it’s just Sunny’s guilt in the form of a shadow that doesn’t belong in Headspace.

Stranger is the representation of Basil’s thoughts following Sunny into his dreams. The urge for Sunny to leave dreamworld and Omori in the first place.

Saving Basil

At the beginning of the game, after a basic tutorial about how Headspace operates and the battle system, we finally get to see that, behind all that happy and cozy facade, something is clearly wrong. And, well, Basil is, of course, the catalyst. Actually, since you see Basil at the first cutscene, it is evident he’s someone important and you can’t help but be drawn to him and feel suspicious about it. I know I felt that way at least.

Basil is the objective you have to reach in order to “finish” the game. The whole point is finding him and bringing him back safe and sound. Haha, technically like Mario traveling through all the lands to rescue Peach… only more effed up probably 😂.

It’s interesting because… even if you choose to go with the hikikomori route, the objective is the same. In fact, you end up “saving” him. You end up bringing back that part of Basil Sunny appreciates and loves, that idealized version. He even ends up sitting with Mari at the picnic, safe and sound, no battles to be fought. He wants to protect and cherish Basil as much as he wants to protect Mari.

Branch coral said it, Omori confined Mari to a safe space, so nothing and no one could harm her. Not even himself.

I think he sees DW Basil in the hikikomori route in the same way. He puts him there, to protect him against all harm. (Intent to forget about the fact that he’s leaving Stranger, leaving real life Basil alone… And I think he successfully forgets all about it). Bringing DW Basil back is some sort of consolation made up by Sunny’s mind, intent on tricking him into thinking he saved his best friend and never left him alone. That’s… so sad in my opinion?

But well, let’s go back to the true route.

It is implied by the Branch Coral that Sunny has had this dream a million times. It's an endless cycle that has been repeating and repeating over and over again and the goal is always the same: To forget, to never accept the truth. But I think that the breach in dreamworld is always Basil. Something happens to him and Omori has to look for him with his friends.

Whenever he reaches Basil, it resets and goes back. And it happens and happens in a never ending cycle. What I want to highlight here is that, at the back of Sunny’s mind, unconsciously, there’s a desire to save his best friend. Even if the trauma has made him forget about what they’ve done and even if he’s frightened of him and what it means to see him again and embrace the painful truth. He still somehow wants to do it.

We’re not told why Sunny decides to get out of his house, he just does, prompted by Kel. But I’m guessing it’s because, well, he will be moving out soon. He will not see his friends ever again… and he will not see Basil.

Maybe he unconsciously knows this is the only chance he has before leaving. Maybe he unconsciously knows that reaching out to Basil is what he has to do if he wants to finally feel at peace. Face the truth, but with him.

I would dare to say that Sunny’s goal after getting out of the house is finding him and saving him. Even if getting there is hard as hell… even if he’s terribly frightened and he’s not able to reach him alone (thank god for Kel, Aubrey and Hero).

And, well, just the fact that Sunny dove into the lake, even if he was afraid of drowning, just to save him says a lot about his true intentions. (Hello, the game asks you whether you will do it or not, but no matter the choice you make, Sunny still does it. That says a lot imo).

Omori

Sooooo…. HUH. Let’s talk about Omori for a second. I’ve heard a lot of people say that Omori hates Basil.

Which… could be true, but not because Sunny hates him in real life or even blames him or anything. Like I said, Basil is the catalyst, the one thing that serves as a crack in the ‘happy’ place that is Headspace. Mari could also be the catalyst, but she’s confined to the picnic blanket… Though we see Hell Mari and various fucked up versions of her in various instances *shudders*.

And Omori, well, he’s Sunny’s caretaker. A caretaker he created to comfort himself because trauma was too much (Makes me think that Sunny has DID (Dissociative identity disorder) in some way, but that is just my headcanon). So, well, since Omori is trying to keep Sunny’s mind at peace, it’s logical that he wants to eliminate what makes Black Space leak into Headspace.

Actually, the only time Omori tries to desperately eliminate Basil countless times is when Sunny is slowly readying himself to accept the truth. Only because Basil has been about to blurt out words about what happened and that is unacceptable to Omori.

Still, well, at the end of the route, Sunny still chooses to chase after Basil and tell everyone the truth. He even fights Omori, the one thing (person?) that has comforted him for over 4 long years… That says a lot. Omori could hate what Basil means to Headspace, but Omori is also Sunny and I know Sunny does not think Basil is in the wrong here, he does not hate him at all. If anything, he hates himself…

The leaks…

When I say I freaked out when I saw the leaks would be an understatement lmao. And I want to bring it up here, because… just look:

There’s just something so incredibly intimate in these photos? They look so close. It’s like Sunny’s desire to relive those moments he spent with Basil again and it just kills me sifbfl.

And I’m honestly surprised it wasn’t added in the main game. Well, I guess we will be getting it on the switch version 👀, but I’m not quite sure yet? Also! The fact that an animation of them releasing energy for a fight exists is so surprising to me. Does that mean that you can choose to fight alongside him over Sunny’s other friends? 👀 hmmmm…. Why is it only him you can do that with? My guess (a very biased one and I’m sorry) is that Sunny sees Basil as someone he can be alone with, someone he can spend time with and feel understood and safe. It aligns with what I said at the beginning: their connection is unique, they understand each other the most.

But well, I’m bringing this up specifically because it shows the dynamic of their relationship or what Sunny highlighted and liked the most about it in his mind. It’s so cozy and nice and… sigh, it’s so sad that their relationship got strained like that.

String of fate?

Opening this with: there is no heterosexual explanation for this and I’m so sorry. (Actually there could be, but let me dream.)

"He is special to you. A string of fate ties you two together. He cannon leave that place alone."

But jokes aside, UH…. What even is this phrase the Branch Coral says? And what does it mean for Sunny to be dreaming about it?

Over the years, the only string of fate that has been talked about is the red string of fate, which unifies you with your soulmate, the person you’re destined to be with. And after that, I’ve seen a lot of theories about it and how some strings of fate could be platonic (I’ve heard there’s a yellow string of fate tied to your index finger, but, actually, there really isn’t that much information about this, so… honestly hm).

But well, see it the way you see it, even if we’re talking about the red one or the yellow one, it is a fact that Sunny thinks of Basil as someone special to him, someone he was destined to meet. Whether platonic or romantically, we might never know, but I choose to believe there’s more to it than just something platonic and Sunny hasn’t seen it yet. Why use the string of fate? Branch Coral could’ve only said Basil is special to him.

And, though they're talking about saving Basil in Headspace, this whole conversation could definitely fit real life as well. "He can't get out of there alone", no, Basil needs Sunny so they can both heal. I remember the Branch Coral ended up that explanation with a: “You know what you have to do, DREAMER” Yeah. Sunny is already somewhat conscious of it, that he has to do something for both of them. It’s his choice and his choice only (and ours but shh). He has to save Basil from Black Space, but also from himself in the real world.

Conclusion

I think there is something characteristically beautiful in Sunny wanting to save Basil even if facing the truth is horrible for him. It shows how much he cares about him. You wouldn’t do that for someone if you didn’t love them. He could’ve chosen not to go and reach out to him (and we’ve seen the consequences of those actions in the bad and ‘neutral’ endings). But I’m glad that the ending where he chooses to find him and help him irl is the true ending. Because, truly, this is probably the only way to go so he can also forgive himself.

Now, by all of that stated before, I’m not saying that Sunny has to be in love with Basil, but I do think that he’s very important to him no matter what, he truly considers him his best friend. And… I also believe that, in the future, he will see this and realize he doesn’t want anyone else. Because, in a way, Basil is probably the only person who truly knows what he’s going through.

Both of them have issues, yes, and they really, reaaaaally need to see a therapist and try to be better people. Mental illnesses are honestly a pain in the ass and if not treated well, they become a ticking time bomb. And trauma? Well… makes everything worse. All of them, Kel, Aubrey and Hero had their issues and ways to deal with their grief as well, but, naturally after what happened, Sunny and Basil do need more help, perhaps. And, honestly, I believe that, at the end of the game, they do get it, they do find a way to be better and find a way to move on. Together.

Both Basil and Sunny idealize each other in some way. Possibly Basil’s case is more evident in game and worrying, you could say. But I think that, when you’re young and get a new crush, it’s kind of impossible not to see them as perfect. When you fall for someone you tend to overlook their flaws and it is only with time that you start to see them and either embrace them or… well, hate them. Overlooking Sunny’s flaws unfortunately backfired on Basil, possibly because he was also mentally ill even before the event with Mari… But there is no way we can blame him for it and I think Sunny doesn’t, either.

Not even about the eye, either, because we all know Basil was going through a phsychotic episode and wasn't conscious of it. If anything, he tried to save Sunny from Something, not realizing Something was him. He split Sunny in half in his mind as well, similar to what Sunny did with DW Basil and Stranger.

I’ve seen a lot of people call Sunflower a bad ship because it’s “toxic” and… yes, it could be. It can definitely be, there are a lot of takes regarding that, oh boy… BUT I want to believe they would get together after going to therapy for years and I want to believe that they can help each other heal. I find Sunflower an interesting ship and an interesting friendship as well because all they have is each other. After all, there’s no way they can get a connection this… beautiful and strong and still somehow let it wither after all this time. There’s so much they have to talk about and they care too much about each other not to at least try.

Like I said at the beginning, they’re each other’s anchors and without the other, I doubt they can fully heal. It would be nice if they could be there for each other even when life is hard and even if their friends take their time to forgive them. (I know they will eventually forgive them, but I also think that it could take time… Especially in Hero’s case, perhaps?)

I like to think that this happened in the future and they were healing together ❤

Anyway, what do you think? Is there something else to add to this extended essay/weird analysis thing? I can’t believe I’m doing this lmao, I’m nervous.

PS: Please be kind? ❤

#Omori #omori sunflower #omori sunny #omori basil #analysis #I'm new here so I'm nervous fjkdvbd #Sunflower is just one of those ships you can't get over no matter how much you try #I hope they get to be happy someday #omori spoilers #my post #sunnflower

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raayllum · 1 year

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& i will say as someone who has always liked the gothic / earned my degree in english... there is something to be said for “never say never” if you actually want to analyze media and/or expand your horizons.

not only are pieces of media that discuss violation and taboos interesting (in many ways from a literary standpoint, incest and cannibalism are the same thing - a violent consumption and one sided ownership - but one is sexual and the other is physical, and bringing them together can be Fascinating in terms of how we can talk about the human condition, the harm we can do to one another & have done to one another, etc) but are also just useful, because how those things have been seen and treated have varied (somewhat) over history?

cannibalism and kinslaying was a massive no-no in ancient grecian society, in spite of or maybe even in response to both of those things happening one by one in their primordial myths (kronos literally has children with his sister - like all gods - then eats his children, only for his children to later ‘kill’ him by chopping him into pieces. his dick formed aphrodite)

and to a certain degree, watching people go through terrible things or inflict terrible things on one another in the realm of fiction is the crux of tragedy. there’s emotional catharsis in tragedy, of course, of just expelling emotions in a safe setting where terrible things are not happening to you, but then there’s also the reaffirmation of agency and security that you have, because they’re not happening to you - that characters do not have free will, their stories are written for them, but you do have free will (which is its own burden, but mostly not).

like you may say “i’ll never ship anything that falls into [x thing here]” and that could very well be true (although bad news if it’s incest and you’ve enjoyed literally Anything based off mythology in your life like PJO or hadestown, etc), there are definitely squicks for me i’ll never really be into but like. i also don’t totally know? there could always be the right story at the right time and place that makes me intrigued or interested in something i wasn’t before.

having that openness also means allowing for different interpretations. i can ship past viren/harrow, and even in the present day portion of the show, while acknowledging and being fully aware that narratively / thematically (and canonically, if we wanna go that far) they’re supposed to have a brother-like bond. but to stuff characters and ships and moral rules into stuffy little cubbies and ignoring all the grey areas, and where people (fiction or otherwise) have always existed in those grey spaces has just... never sat right with me?

perhaps it’s because i’m nonbinary, so i exist in a grey and outside of a binary. maybe it’s because i lean towards not needing definitive answers, thanks to the reading i’ve done on judaism and religions other than my own (cultural & religious) christian background. maybe it’s because as an aro person, my own form of attraction is incredibly blurred between romantic and platonic. maybe it’s because i am Very good at recognizing anti (anti sex work, anti kink, anti shipping, anti queer, anti trans) rhetoric because it all comes from a place of “this exists and i think it shouldn’t, even though it’s not harming me” not only from my existence as a queer person, but also from my perspective (and from others like me) of being a minor harassed by adults in the name of ‘protecting the children,’ because they thought i was shipping a minor/adult. i wasn’t, for the record (canon ages were extremely ambiguous) but even if i had been, that’s still totally okay?? and not worth harassment?? just be Normal about it??

so yeah, i block liberally about it to protect myself, and i don’t blame other people who do too, because if someone falls into one of those anti camps, it’s very hard to tell which other ones they may fall into

and idk, i just think it’s Good for people to read things that make them uncomfortable, fiction wise. it pushes you past your own cultural understandings. it can lead to growth or reaffirm your own worldviews for the better. the more you overtly moralize (and demonize), dividing things into categories of “this is always bad or irredeemable” the more you make it harder for people to discuss the full complexities of their lives, because something can be always bad, yes, but that doesn’t mean there was never any good (or reasoning behind it that, right or wrong, appealed to the best or worst of people) in it either. if you deeply moralize racism, you give ‘nice whites’ a shield to hold up. if you deeply demonize age gaps, you make people who are actually vulnerable to them less likely to listen, rather than giving young adults better tools and concepts to learn when a relationship - any kind of relationship - is healthy for them.

and i’d say it’s fiction’s responsibility to challenge, but not to unilaterally teach, ethical and moral norms, anyway (which also aren’t defined principles, but you get my drift). what’s that quote? “Art Should Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comfortable” by la cruz. Yeah

anyway all this to say go read the perks of being a wallflower or kiss of the fur queen or the book thief or things fall apart and come back to me about prioritizing your personal comfort over letting people just live their lives in fandom without moralizing everything. modern day sanitation will not help you in the long run

#the english major strikes again #don't know what trigger warnings to tag for but #mentions of cannibalism & incest as motifs #anti purity culture #as always ship and make whatever you want just tag accordingly #long post #fandom nonsense #and just to be clear: it's also perfectly okay to want to be comfortable #again: i avoid tons of fics bc it has something that makes me Uncomfy #HOWEVER (and i say this all the time) what makes me uncomfortable #(i love exploring violence in stories but it has to be written bc brain cannot handle screen empathy)#may be exactly what or why someone else loves it #and that is normal and okay #tag ramble #no i don't know what this is

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stardusthuntress · 1 year

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What Does Beauty Look Like?

Sergeant Hunter x female!reader (if you want a gender neutral version, just say something and I’ll make a second version of this or any of my pieces!)

Word Count: ~3.5K

TW: jealousy, body dysmorphia (reader’s feelings), so kinda angsty; no use of y/n; maybe a touch of exhibitionism, if ya squint; sorta getting smutty again, so 18+ only! I think that's it, but lemme know if I missed anything (not beta'd)!

Summary: Hunter’s love is struggling to feel pretty, so he takes it upon himself to make sure she knows how attractive she is to him. His brothers make a point to do the same (Hunter and reader are clearly a thing, but if you wanna read this as though it's poly you can do that too, I tried to leave it a little open-ended so that that would be up to you as the reader! If you have a problem with that then, move along, move along)

EDIT: I FORGOT TO INCLUDE THE DRIODS GUYS!!! They're a part of this family too! I fixed it! AZI and Gonky are now in the story! And I had forgotten to translate all the Mando'a terms, sorry! dictionary is at the top, but below the cut now! And fixed a few typos I spotted along the way too.

A/N: You guys! I just cranked out another fic! Idk why I can only really do them in one sitting lately, but hey, it's not a bad rhythm! And I tend to write the stuff I need to read, so I hope this resonates with others out there too! And I NEEDED to get started on Hunter-focused fics, so here's my first one for you guys!

Fun fact: the dumb question Tech gets asked is a legitimate question I was asked by an adult while in college. You know what they say, never piss off a writer or they will immortalize your idiocy for all eternity 🤪 everyone has bad moments and I still hope that question was just someone forgetting to think it through before opening their mouth, but every now and again it still haunts me that it was not a child that asked me that question. So now it can haunt you too! Hehe!

Mando'a: Ad'ika = little one (a name for one's children; literally ad = "son/daughter" mando'a is gender neutral, and "ika" = little) Mesh'la = Beautiful Sarad = flower

Hunter-specific dividers by @djarrex

For several months now, the Bad Batch has been more than a band of nearly-identical brothers and their little sister. Ever since the day Hunter fell in love and found the courage to ask the woman he fell for if she would join them on their adventures, with his family’s blessing of course, it went from 6 to 7.

One night, they find themselves eating dinner in a tavern while several very attractive people make every effort to catch the eyes of the men.

Hunter has no interest in the new people, even though they are clearly interested in him. He only has eyes for one woman, his lover. He and Omega head back to the ship, having barely even met the new strangers the rest of his men are so interested in before noticing Omega was getting tired. He brought her back to the ship, alone, and now tracks their comms from the ship to make sure the others are all safe. As he watches, one of the dots on his screen departs the group and heads for a lake not far away. It’s hers, his lover’s.

He checks on Omega one last time, nodding to AZI, before heading out and closing up the ship behind him. Tech will be along soon to keep an eye on her. Not that Tech isn’t interested in a partner, but Hunter knows Tech isn’t usually the type for one night stands. Which is rather handy for Hunter in situations like this, when he needs one more adult to keep an eye on the kid (AZI was helpful, but not trained for defense if need be) when he wants to spend a little alone time with his partner.

He catches up with her and can tell by her body language that she needs him. She’s sitting on a rock, hugging her knees, chin tucked on top, eyes closed. As he watches, she shifts, sighing, clearly trying to hold it in, looking up at the sky above her. Pain sits in her eyes, but he knows this is not physical pain, but internal pain.

He sits down behind her, one knee on either side of her, and wraps his body around her, pulling her into his chest. But where she would normally smile and lean back into him, she barely reacts at all.

“My strong, brilliant, gorgeous woman” he whispers in her ear. She turns her head a fraction, acknowledging his presence and words. He knows how to get her attention when she’s down. He also knows of her body dysmorphia. The whole team does. She only told Hunter, but Crosshair and Echo figured it out pretty quick, confirmed the symptoms and her body language with Tech, and asked Hunter about it. She doesn’t know they know about it though. He made them promise never to say anything about it, he knows she didn’t even want him to figure it out, but he wasn’t about the let the woman he loves suffer through it alone.

“Talk to me, Love,” he whispers in her ear “what’s up?”

She sighs. She couldn’t hide anything from Hunter even if she tried. “They say it’s not about whether or not a woman is pretty. But as soon as someone who IS pretty shows up, it’s like they forget I even exist, and all the things they said to me about it just evaporate into thin air.”

“I think they just want what we have,” Hunter counters.

“Still doesn't change the fact that I’m NOT one of the lucky ones who gets to be pretty. You deserve someone who at least matches you, Hunter. Couldn’t you feel the glances at us, the way those women clearly could tell you deserve more than what I can give you?”

“They are shallow and just looking for a quick lay, you know I’m not that kind of guy.”

“Pretty sure any of them would have agreed to date you without hesitation, Hunter”

“Doesn’t mean they have what I need in a partner” he nuzzles into her shoulder “You know what I like. I like a woman who’s good with kids, who can hold her own both in combat and in conversation with my brothers - I know my family is a lot. I like a woman who is independent and self sufficient even before she joins my squad. I like a woman with a brilliant mind who uses it to protect others. None of them had that.”

“Must have been at least one with a mind in there to entertain Tech.”

“Na, he usually just rambles to see if one of them will listen. But it’s not like any of them can keep up with him anyways, and he knows that. He’s not really interested in them, just is bored and has someone new to listen to him. Wouldn’t be surprised if he comes looking for us soon enough.”

“What about the others?” She’s not convinced.

“Well, Crosshair and Wrecker just like the attention and don’t mind a quick lay. Echo needs a quick lay to prove to him he’s still got it. The guys are only interested in them because they are just temporary. If they really wanted a woman to stick around they wouldn’t go for one that made you feel uncomfortable, they each know the pain of that feeling themselves and they adore you and would hate knowing their actions made you feel that way.”

“I’m still not attractive, Hunter.”

Hunter looks at her, astonished that she’s still not aware of the effect she has on him “I suppose, you think that because you can’t see the way your eyes sparkle when you’ve found a new challenge you want to take on. You can’t see the way your laughter lights up your whole body. You can’t see how beautiful you look when you’re concentrating on something, like when you’re reading a book and your mind is in a different universe. You can’t see how you glow when you get a chance to be a mother to Omega, especially when she falls asleep curled into you. You can’t see how beautiful it is when you’re so focused on doing something right that you bite those luscious lips of yours. Nor how good your ass looks when you bend over while working on the ship with us. And you have no idea what all of that does to me. I guess I usually steal glances at you when you’re doing little things. And I don’t know why I try to sneak glances when you aren’t looking. Maybe next time I should let my gaze wander long enough that you know when I’m checking you out.”

He plants a long kiss on her ear, and his hands begin to wander. Rubbing every inch of her within his reach. Her chest, her arms, her legs, her shoulders. Anything that holds her close to him. His mouth begins to wander too. It moves from her ear, where it’s been during their conversation, to trail kisses down her neck, which become open-mouthed as they reach her shoulders, sucking passionately.

She opens to him. Head falling back onto his shoulder, breathing heavy, whispering his name to the heavens like a prayer. Feeling his member harden behind her at the use of his name.

“I know what you need, Love.” He whispers back. “Let me take care of you tonight. Let me lay all my love on you, be it sexual or not. Let me love you like no man ever has. I know it will take time for this to heal, and that I cannot fix it for you, but let my love help you see that you are attractive, not just in mind and soul, but also in body. Let me show you how gorgeous you are to me, every inch of you. And I swear I will never hide another glance at your body from you. I love all of you, and I need you to feel that.”

“Oh, Hunter!” She mueled as he continued caressing her body.

He could hear the tears in her eyes with every noise she made as she gave in to his touch.

“I’m here, Gorgeous” his gravelly voice sending shivers down her spine, knowing that it was her he was describing that way, and that he genuinely meant it.

Without letting go, he maneuvers around her and scoops her up, bridal style.

“Let’s find a spot that’s softer to lay you out on, my Love.”

He carries her to a bed of moss and lays her down gently. Then with a smirk, he dives in for a passionate kiss, covering her body with his own, and letting his body weight act like her personal weighted blanket.

When her hands begin to try to reciprocate and make him feel good too, he takes her hands in his - not her wrists, he wants this to be gentle and sensual, not dominating - and holds them above her head.

“Not tonight, my Love. Tonight I need to make you feel good. Just let me hear you, you know what your voice does to me.”

Tech has detached himself from the group and is looking for his Seargent and favorite conversationalist. Tracking Hunter’s comm signal, he follows it to a quiet spot by a lake, hidden by trees and covered in soft mosses. At first he finds it odd that they are so far from the ship when Omega is still on the ship, until a noise makes its way to him as he approaches. A noise like a whimper puts him on high alert, and he ducks out of view behind a tree, listening closely. But the second sound that reaches him puts him at ease. It’s her voice, moaning Hunter’s name. Still hidden behind the tree, he relaxes, and smiles to himself.

“Good” he whispers, mostly to himself, “bed her well Brother. Give her a night she won’t soon forget, as rare a gem as she. She needs to know how much she means to us. Make sure she feels it, Brother.”

He quietly departs, not wanting his presence to ruin the moment for them.

Hunter, still covering the woman he loves in kisses, surfaces for a moment, and glances through the trees. He looks back down at the woman beneath him and finds her eyes, enjoying getting lost in them for a moment. She’s getting her glow back, but Hunter is far from done. And now he doesn’t have to worry about how long they have been out here, now that someone is back at the ship with Omega.

The next morning, camped in the sunlight on a new planet, the team begins to wake up. Most still groggy, they reaching for extra caf. Hunter, still spooning his love, wakes to the sight of the love of his life curled around little Omega, both still sleeping soundly. But Tech took watch all night that night, as he usually prefers to do on nights like this (something about no one else being sober nor focused enough after a night of ‘wild abandon’ as he called it, to actually keep watch), and someone needs to relieve him. So he plants a long kiss on her temple, enjoying how she stirs a little beneath him, but doesn’t wake up.

“Sleep, Mesh’la, I need to give Tech a break.”

He tucks his girls in and heads to the cockpit.

Tech looks up when he enters, and gives him a knowing smirk.

“I think she’s starting to feel it” Hunter’s voice is a little extra gravelly with sleep.

Tech’s eyebrows raise in question.

Hunter smirks in return. “How rare a gem she is, and how much she means to us,” quoting Tech from the night before.

“Ah, so you were aware of my presence. It was not my goal to disturb you.”

Hunter lets a laugh surface for a moment “I kinda hoped you would hear it when you came looking for us. I knew you would look for us. She needs the encouragement of knowing when you lot seek her company.” He glances back over his shoulder to where she and Omega continued to sleep peacefully, “When she wakes up, don’t hide your appreciation for her, make sure she knows how much she means to all of us. Yeah?”

Tech smiles, and nods.

“But as far as she’s concerned, you didn’t hear it from me. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t hear us last night” he winks at his brother.

Tech’s smile widens, and he nods.

When she does wake, she finds the men and Omega enjoying the fresh air and sights of the beautiful new planet Tech brought them to during the night.

Hunter’s legs are stretched out along the side of the entire ramp as he leans back against the door frame, eyes closed. Tech sits on the other side of the ramp and a bit farther down, a project in hand, spilling onto Gonky, who sat at Tech's side next to the ramp.

She snuggles up to Hunter, sitting between him and Tech. Hunter wraps an arm around her in return, checking her eyes to make sure her glow is returning, and smiling brightly back at her when he finds it.

“Good morning, Love” he kisses her hair, and she leans into him with a relaxing sigh.

Tech exchanges another knowing glance with him.

“How was your night, Tech?” She asks, still holding on tightly to Hunter. He can tell she’s trying not to brace for a story about another woman, and an endless description of how pretty she was.

“Fine,” Tech responds, matter-of-factly, “finally got a chance to finish a few projects I’ve been working on for far too long.”

Something about the way he doesn’t even mention the women that were chatting them up the night before, almost as if he’s forgotten them already (he has), makes her feel a little better.

Hunter can feel her relaxing against him. He smiles.

“And you? It sounded like you two had a good night last night.” Tech’s attention is still on his project, and he acts as though he did not just say he caught them making love the night before.

“Uh,” she glances at Hunter, and finds a mischievous look awaiting her there. So he had known Tech overheard. She blushed. “Yeah.” Her eyes trailed to the ground, she didn’t mind that he had heard, but she wasn’t exactly expecting him to bring it up so nonchalantly either. “And you?” She tossed the question back at him, not exactly sure what else to do.

“They, were not my type,” he answered, simply. “One of them asked how water gets back up to the top of a river, because they thought they were essentially circular by nature. I left shortly thereafter. However, you should ask the other three that question, as each of them attempted to sneak into the ship very early this morning. None of them successfully snuck into the ship, but since they did not wake you, Hunter, nor Omega, I suppose they did not entirely fail, either. But I thought you would all appreciate waking up in a place like this instead of stuck amidst the stink of that city.”

She and Hunter laughed at his story.

“Much appreciated, it is beautiful here. All in all, not a bad night though, despite the shallowness of the company?” Hunter asked.

“Affirmative. It was nice to finally finish up a few projects. Speaking of, I believe that completes one more.” Tech seems to be done fiddling with the project in his lap and holds it out to her, “the reading light you wanted.”

She looks at it, surprise etched onto her face, and then her eyes move to Tech as though she’s missing something.

“Crosshair saw you eyeing one at that book stall a few planets ago,” Tech explains.

She looked over to where Crosshair sat, alone, but not far away, and caught him watching her out of the corner of his eye. He nodded at her, confirming Tech’s story.

“It took me a while longer than I liked to acquire all the parts and complete it for you. Echo helped discreetly acquire the pieces and keep my designs for it out of sight so that it would be a surprise for you. I know you’ve probably already finished the books you bought that day, but for the next time we find you some new books.”

She takes it and turns it on, examining it, a smile on her face.

“I made sure to make it not too bright so it won’t wake Hunter if you want to read at night, but not dim enough to strain your eyes,” he supplies, always ready with more info.

“Thank you, Tech. I didn’t realize anyone had noticed that, let alone cared enough to make one for me. You have so many projects you’re working on already, you didn’t have to do this for me.”

“I wanted to do this for you. You mean a great deal to all of us, not just because Hunter loves you. As you know, we do not let just anyone stay with us. This is my way of saying thank you for all the little things you do for us. Do not think we do not notice them.”

Her eyes are glossy as she leans over to hug him “thank you, Tech. You’ve no idea how much this means to me.” Tech reciprocates the hug, and Hunter smiles at him from behind her, nodding at his brother.

She leans back into Hunter, resting her head on his shoulder, clutching her new reading light to her chest.

Hunter pulls her close, and whispers in her ear “See? You mean the galaxy to all of us.”

“How do I know you didn’t set that up just to make me feel better?” She giggles, but her voice is quiet, not wanting the others to hear.

“Then trust me that he did not ‘set it up’, I have been working on it since we visited that bookshop and left early last night to finish it and a few other projects when I found myself quite bored,” Tech piped up.

“Sorry, Tech. I didn’t mean—”

“You have nothing to apologize for. It meant a lot to me to have someone with us who also appreciates books and knowledge as much as I do. Making something as simple and small as a reading light is the least I could do in return.”

She reaches out and takes Tech’s hand, squeezing it for a moment as a way to say thank you. Tech squeezes back for a moment, then picks up the next project that had been sitting atop Gonky.

Hunter is beaming with pride for his little family.

Omega bounces up to them, her cheeks pink from frolicking in the great outdoors since she woke up.

“Good morning!” She smiles brightly up at Hunter and his partner, throwing herself into their arms.

“Good morning, Ad’ika [little one],” Hunter laughs, hugging both his girls tightly, and making them laugh too.

“Tech! Look what I found! What kind of flowers are they?” Omega holds out a bouquet of a wide variety of flowers, and Tech begins to tell her all about the different species and why they are different colors and shapes.

Wrecker approaches, brushing off the grass acquired from following his little sister through the meadow and helping her pick one of every type of flower they could find. He pauses, picking two more flowers on his way over.

“Mornin’!” He practically shouts as he arrives at the ramp to the ship. And then he leans forward and sticks one flower he just picked behind the ear of the girl, and one behind the ear of the woman at Hunter’s side. Beaming at the young girl and the woman, he wordlessly plops himself down in the grass at the foot of the ramp to listen to Tech rambling about the flowers in Omega’s hands.

“A flower as beautiful as you, Sarad [flower]” Echo approaches from behind, holding a steaming mug of caf, and looking at the woman in Hunter’s arms. She smiles as Echo leans against the doorway behind Tech.

“Aww, thanks, Echo.”

He winks at her, and nods at Hunter.

She cuddles her way into Hunter, who’s hand now rubs her back. He’s still smiling broadly, eyes full of love as he watches her.

Crosshair nods his approval from his spot nearby, giving her one of his rare smiles, as he plucks a toothpick from one of the pockets on his belt.

Maybe Hunter had been right. Not that she didn’t trust him, she just had trouble believing it when someone told her she was pretty. After a lifetime of what seemed like evidence to the contrary, it was nice to start a little collection of evidence beginning to prove that that notion may have been jaded by her own self-doubt.

Please don't steal my work though! I pour my heart into these so if you like it please reblog to share instead of reposting it!

#here be another comfort fic #idk why this is all I can write lately #angsty but fun to write I guess #sergeant hunter x reader #sergeant hunter #tbb hunter x reader #tbb hunter/reader #hunter tbb x reader #tbb sergeant hunter #tbb sergeant hunter comfort fic #zenith writes

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