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hanniluvi · 11 months

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💭 — SUNGHOON AS YOUR BF !

for my 🪷 anon <3 ! i hope you enjoy this !

warnings : mentions of pecks/kisses

— we already know, sunghoon will be such a tease in the relationship 😭

— like you can’t tell me like he wouldn’t say “oh you’re tired?” in a teasing voice .

— but like since you’re his lover, when he witnesses you getting upset abt it, he would stop (for a bit) and just comfort you

— and then he’s gonna act shock when you scold him after he goes “oh you’re upset?” and try to comfort you as if he didn’t say anything.

— i imagine him being a big spoon in cuddling BUT being a little spoon is his guilty pleasure . he doesn’t want to admit it to you though .

— he’s gonna deny it every single time you find out. like what ?? he doesn’t not enjoy being the little spoon! but once you offer to be the big spoon, he will not refuse the offer.

— “well we all need new experiences…” is a lie (but shhh, you don’t want to make him turn even more red) , he just loves being held by you. once you have him in your embrace, he’s all yours and he’s living for it. he would caress your arms every now and then.

— i don’t he’s a big fan of physical touch in public tbh… like hand holding and little pecks are okay but other than that, it’s a big no for him. but…if you just hug him out of nowhere, man he doesn’t care about the public. he literally melts in your touch. you’re just like that for him <3

— once you speak, all his attention is for you. like literally he would stop anything he’s doing just for you. oh you’re talking? phone is shut off and he’s looking at you with heart eyes.

— and when you look back at him with such gaze when he’s speaking, he’s gonna be all shy and like “why are you looking at me like that?” LIKE SIR did you not just ??? hes so .

— when he’s bored, he would just go and bother you. like he would be like “omg get off your phone, your boyfriend is literally here”. he secretly likes it when you actually listen, giving all your attention to him. makes him feel special. gonna stop before i explode

— he definitely traces his finger on your palm . idk why, he does it just because he does. never question it cause he WOULD stop doing it . just kidding he wouldn’t

— he would give you shoulder kisses. JUST HEAR ME OUT.

— he would text you randomly. something reminds him of you? he’s texting you. you’re in the same room as him? he doesn’t care, he will text you. he always has a lot to say, and will tell you everything (and you love it).

— when he gets jealous, i doubt he would tell you about it straight up about it. he’s kinda like a chill person on the outside and waits for you to finish talking to a person he doesn’t really like. once you finish, he’s gonna be physically clingy just so he gets that reassurance. please give him a lot of love afterwards 🫶

— if you both are the teasing duo, if he misses you, he would never admit it. he doesn’t want to go through all the teasing.. like he would go “oh you left something here aha!! shouldn’t you get it?” or “im sick can you come over”. and when you do hes gonna be like well since you came all the way here…just stay. and when you do, he just falls in love with you all over again.

— when he gets you stuff and like you thank him over and over for it … he’s gonna be like “oh it’s nothing” , “just your perfect boyfriend at it again” , “just doing my job” . he’s gonna he so proud. HES SO SILLY BUT CUTE I SWEAR 😭

— def showers you with compliments whenever he’s in that sappy, lovesick mood … which is like everyday???

💭 — sigh i need a sunghoon in my life

ENHA PERM TAGLIST — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @tnyhees @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa

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dazyskiie-luv · 7 months

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Overblot mc/yuu but...????

TW — mention of vomiting, fighting Crowley and winning (sorry Crowley lovers), past death. I like thinking a lot tbh

not necessarily angst but it is in here! Same with fluff...this was really just me rambling.

* EDIT: WHY DID IT TAKE HOURS UNTIL I FINALLY GOT TOLD I WAS WRITING OVERBLOT WRONG.

I think about MC overbloting a lot and I also think about adding it into my own books because of how??? good??? the idea???? is???????

I genuinely imagine that even from the start MC was in danger of overbloting themself, with the stress and despair of finding out they aren't in THEIR world, away from their (family and/or friends) with possibly NO WAY BACK EVER because of some egocentric crow refusing to do more than he wants to???????

They would obviously be hella upset, stressed, depressed, anxious, etc because they know NOTHING of this world and is practically a BABY among people who lived here THEIR WHOLE LIFE.

So as more overblots happen, the more their OWN overblot is brewing. Bubbling, waiting to enter the game. Especially with the magic always getting slashed onto them. I think the only reason why they HAVEN'T overbloted just yet is because of grim

a more personal headcanon; Grim's fire, when you have a close bond with him, sorta starts erasing your blot and fueling HIS flames, making it more powerful. Essentially, think of when you're close friends with someone... you'll find it easier to fight for them right?? like you have more power to do that??? that's what its like

Now think of when MC is just TOO deep in their mind, TOO deep into their emotions and its the ONE TIME grim isn't there to help. They go to throw up blot and after panicking for a bit they just accept it. They accept that "I'm gonna overblot and probably die" because they're just too tired to worry abt themself

They don't tell anyone and since the overblot is already taking over the entire inside of their body, grims flames can't really???? get it all???? It'll always be there and it'll continue to grow and slowly grim notices that when he's feeling more powerful than ever while MC is showing obvious signs of getting ready to overblot

Grim choosing not to say anything to other people would be like... i guess out of character but at the same time i think In character????? He knows how tired MC is with dealing with everyone and honestly he's tired of it too so YASSS SLAY HENCH-BESTIEEE!!!!!

Sooner or later the others would notice too and it would be a little late to help MC since the overblot is already seeping out of their skin like they're crying. and honestly? their body IS crying. it's crying blot. And even as everyone is screaming and panicking about MC, they're just... sitting there.

Like they're annoyed everyone is making a big deal out of it considering no one cared before, and they're just like "stfu we're in class" and then focus on the teacher going "u can continue im sorry abt that."

And everyone is just??? confused?? because why aren't they going haywire or like.....???? idk..... crying in pain....????? what...........

MC just chilling the entire day while overbloting, even their overblot monster just floating behind them in peace and waving at times when people look for too long while everyone else is wary and giving them (+ grim who's always in MC's hold) a bunch of space while the teachers and dormleaders have their pens/wands/wtvr thr fuck at command just incase

but then everyone just realizes that??? MC isn't gonna???? do anything?????? and it kinda irritates them because why aren't you doing shit its freaking them out.

And lets say,,, ortho... as discreetly as he can... scans you. And it shows that you're perfectly fine??? like you aren't dying or in pain. It even shows the Blot monster being alright too like its just a guy standing there.

And now the confusion is up to 100 because WHAT????

MC and the Blot [+ Grim] just doing their everyday assignments and eating in the cafeteria with their friends being visibly tense and MC just raises an eyebrow like "whats wrong with yall tf" before continuing to absolutely DEMOLISH a burger they got for free. FREE!!! best day ever fr they'll tell you that much

I feel like the Blot would get sorta aggressive/protective when it comes to people who has like hurt MC to the point they had to take a nurse visit (half of the school but its alr we gang fr) but when it comes to crowley....??? They'll see the FULL POWER of a magicless blot monster which is actually more terrifying than the others.

The blot going hulk on crowley is so funny to imagine for me cause he'd just be running away and suddenly gets smashed into a pillar from a literal stomp. just one. and it was relatively weak compared to the Blot AND MC picking up and swinging that SAME PILLAR to smash it into crowley.

All that anger and other negative emotion finally coming out the SECOND they even so as HEAR that crows heartbeat nearby. It gave everyone whiplash but then again they also all collectively thought that he deserved it considering he hasn't truly done anything to HELP the students but just to HELP the schools reputation.

I'm half certain a student died there and he just covered it up and they turned into a ghost that haunts places. (i mean... look at the three ghosts in Ramshackle. they used to be students there I'm pretty sure????? i forgot.)

As MC is beating the DOG SHIT out of crowley the Blot is just cleaning everything up slowly because they realized that they dirted up the place :( and when MC is done they help too as the teachers all circle around a throughly beaten and bruised Crowley who has blood seeping out of his mouth while being half awake.

Of course they help him don't die because they honestly don't want the one helpful person to go to the equivalent of jail in twisted wonderland for committing murder and ykw thats so real.

I feel like as Mc stays in this overblot form everyone thats close-ish to them gets memories of things that's happened to them in the past like how MC did. But it's worse. I want an mc thats traumatized im sorry and i want it to be worse than what half of these guys went through.

I need them to feel guilty even more. Like. "Oh my god I really said that when— holy shit" FEEL BAD!!!!! Grim would already know their past because I know I would be cuddling into Grim's stomach and crying about everything.

When Mc finally stops "Overbloting", the Blot would still be there but as its own person :D How does this work????? it works bc I said it does.

The Blot™ would help MC a lot and vice versa, basically acting like parents now with how worried they get over everyone and the other. Grim is eating the attention up though as both Mc and The Blot cuddle as therapy (and bc they wanna)

Everyone (especially idia) would need time to like... get used to that because there's "NO FUCKING RECORD OF AN OVERBLOT BECOMING ITS OWN PERSON AND BEING....NICE?????"(shrouds words not mine ong) and when they do get used to it its like everyone is genuinely happier because! gasp! they are!!!

kick the crow out the seat. Both the Blot and Mc are the new headmaster contrary to the students voting them when Crowley got demoted from it.

I also feel like....??? Instead of MC goinf back home cause they realize just how BAD it was back home, they choose to have a bridge between both realities so that its their (friends and/or families) choice on if they want to be with them in twisted wonderland or not.

MC & Blot beating the shit outta Crowley as everyone watches (and cheers)

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tinybitofhope · 10 months

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i suppose i must do an intro post….

help and donate!!!

hi im lena or hops, im okay with both!! also i luv nicknames so go wild!! also oml use pet names (NON SEXUALLY IM JS A MINOR) they make me smile

about me

ill try to post everyday but dont expect it bc im tired sometimes lol.

i do a lot of fandom posting and just posting whatever is on my mind

my pronouns are she/he/they (im experimenting) and im biromantic and arospec and probably agender/demigirl

i use she/her irl, so pls use that if u kno me irl!!

saw enhypen 5.1.24 !!

INFP-T

forever stuck between my two sisters (and adorable dog)

probably have anxiety and adhd, gonna get tested for adhd

birthday is december 16, THE SAME AS BASH CROFTS!! (my biggest flex) and that makes me a sagittarius

filipino or as my cousin says ‘proud to be pinoy ✌🏼🇵🇭’ (i love her sm)

my favorite song is probably star lost or another day by stray kids

i have a cool writing side blog

fandoms im in are (blue r the ones i think abt the most rn)

newjeans

stray kids (skz)

enhypen

osemanverse

jacksons diary (jd)

the world of mr plant (twomp)

nimona

hamilton

riordanverse (rrverse)

when i fly towards you (wifty)

school bus graveyard

kins/bias list

leo valdez

nico di angelo

will solace

sadie kane

jimmy kaga ricci

lister bird

david miller

angelica schuyler

nick nelson

darcy olsson

zuko

han jisung

kim minji

jake sim

my interests are

literally my fandoms above ^

cursing (although if ur not ok w it I won't do it!!)

music

books

SUDOKU!!!

sewing but i’ve no ideas and js started lmao

skateboarding but i cant do shit

being aesthetically pleasing bc im that girlie

trying to not kms

and shit like that

ok heres my music taste and fave artists

laufey

lyn lapid

conan gray

taylor swift

girl in red

artic monkeys

rocco

stephen sanchez

ricky montgomery

newjeans

stray kids

enhypen

kpop in general hah

current joys

clairo

beabadobee

daniel padilla

jazzy songs

skater type songs idk

phonk/sped up audios

indie

kpop

gacha life songs (brings back the memories haha)

other socials

tt- donot.disturb26

twitter- tinybitofhope

spotify- lena>>

pronouns page

edit bc name and stuff

#introducing myself #osemanverse #twomp #newjeans #nimoma #im just gonna be editing this as i go #my music taste is so gay wtf #pjo

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m0onjellies · 27 days

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I’m copying @chaotic-but-cute’s 30 days of intentionality challenge because lowkey I do want to try to be better at existing as a human especially approaching finals, so here are my goals

1. Health/hygiene:

Shower/do skincare/ brush and floss everyday - I often neglect my physical health if I have too much work which is bad actually

Exercise or just touch grass at least once or twice a week - I’m signing up for karate that’s thrice a week, but with finals approaching idk how practical it is to go all 3 days. I don’t want to set an unrealistic goal for myself!!

2. Academics/Extracurriculars

For all of these, double the time on weekends

Practice piano for at least half an hour a day

Spend at least 30 minutes doing homework at home. Even if I’ve finished all of the homework that is due immediately already at school, it is best practice to at least spend some time doing homework at home, just to build that routine

1-1.5 hours a day at least on speech and debate work leading up to the tournament. After the tournament, replace this time with studying for finals

2-2.5 hours a day copying art history notes. I need to have this done ASAP, so im dedicating a lot of time to it. Hopefully if I’m consistent, I’ll be done by Wednesday or Thursday

Prep for finals for at least an hour a day (and 3-3.5 hours a day once I’m done with art history)

Start this before 5. I tend to get home and do nothing for a stupid amount of time which is bad. - to help with this I’d like to start planning out my time in a calendar, but I’m not gonna beat myself up over it if the calendar fails

Go to a coffee shop or a library or smth to study at least once a week for enrichment

3. Other personal goals

Read at least 5 pages/day of any book and 30 pages/day on weekends. I want to make reading a habit so it becomes fun again. I miss music being fun

Spend a little bit of time (even if it’s just 10 minutes) researching activities I want to do in the future!

Clean my room every week

Indulge in a little bit of whimsy and fun! Listen to music I like or draw or do something other than scroll and feel numb

Wear fun little outfits to school! I love looking hot, however I’m usually too tired to do so. I’m not gonna beat myself up for wearing a hoody and pants for the 200th time this year however I will try to have fun at least 10 times this month

Listen to music while waking up - again, not that big of a priority, but I always feel good when I do it and it’s not hard, so I should do it more

I really hope this goes well!! If it does, I may try to make another one for summer break, however that one may be personal and not posted, we’ll see. All of my posts for this will be under ares.txt and 30days.txt!

#ares.txt

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weirdcat1213 · 10 months

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YEY THE HORRORS i mean YEY THE BOOKCLUB :D

thoughts on volume 6 (oh boi we're almost halfway someone hold me pls)

chap 1:

-OH MY GOD ITS HIM I FORGOT ABOUT HIM FOR A MOMENT (not in general, ik he's in 98)

-HEY HIS WINGS MAY BE CREEPY BUT THEYRE ALSO BEAUTIFUL TO ME >:[

-HOWEVER i love how yeah they are scared af but also get that vash as a person is not bad and they don't leave his side

-WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR BF LIKE THAT STOP STOP STOOOOOP. IDC THAT HE IS A LITERAL LASER CANON HES STILL JUST A LITTLE GUY

-are we...supposed to notice how bad the state of the gun is or...?

-nono brandon is right, i would also not give good guns to cops

-vash i fucking swear-

-SHUT UP YOU FUCKING COP >:[

-BRO WTF

-YEAH BRANDON CALL HIM OUT

-MY FAVORITE WEIRD CREATURE IS HERE

-ok in my 1st read didnt get that, idk why but i was confused about meryl getting worried for some reason. but she has a (sad) point. will one day the ptsd related to violence and guns be enough to make vash not shoot his gun? shes asking an interesting question. shes literally asking how much can vash take imo.

-wait so...was the replacement gun...the one in stampede??? (i will compare them later)

-DONT LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE GENTLE EYES MAN CMON

-I didnt notice he took the punisher lmao

chap 2:

-:c wolfwood having nightmares its not even a hc, IT IS CANON

-NOT THE FLASHBACK OF VASH CRYING BLOOD OUCH NO PLS NO

-:c im not even mad at wolfwood calling vash a monster cuz it must be fucking TERRIFYING but it still hurts :c

-you could...but youre not gonna

-"so yeah you cant be there for every problem in the pla- HOLD UP WHERE ARE YOU GOING"

-lmao meryl is like me fr

-this time i got most of the fight but i think we can all agree the mpv was the table

chap 3

-YEY LEGATO IN THE.....metal handbag?

-YES ELENDIRA FUCKING READ HIM

-OH MY GOD HES HERE HES HERE OH GOD NO

-i remember i was so confused i didnt realize THATS HIS FUCKING TONGUE

-also did double fang kill trail of death?

chap 4:

-OH I LOVE THIS SCENE SM. i also hate walking in a place with a shit ton of people

-YES IT IS BABY, THATS THE SAME CHILD YOU [so so redacted] WOOOOOOOOO (i love this chapter)

-oh...yeah that...oh

-"we cant survive without her power, neither can you" dude...dont...just dont

-ah yes. the hair. yeap. just a cool artistic decision. yeap.

-also i forgot how fucked up the last run was here

-oh he felt it, i saw that in his eye

-oh so he also went apeshit....ohhhhh. ok so if vash went apeshit cuz of a physical fight or flight reaction (I THINK) did knives go apeshit cuz of hate? the physical need to kill people in revenge? nice

-BRO WDYM "why not just end this crusade?" YOU JUST SAW WHY HE WOULD NEVER END IT

-oh that was his last straw. one thing is him being tricked by a human but that lie affecting his brother? the one thing he's trying to protect (yes ik he's not doing the greatest job at it) from humans? yeah no you gotta die

chap 5:

-NO. NO. NONONONONONON NOT THIS CHAPTER NO

-I HATE THE METAPHOR ALREADY (i love it. i want to yell at nightow my thoughts about it. i will never be normal about it)

-pls no. im begging you. pls dont make me read this again. this is when my sanity starts to break into little raggedy pieces of paper

-i just notices this change happens cuz he got HIS MEMORIES BACK WHAT IF I ENDED IT ALL

-i dont want to read anymore

-its just. so fucking hard. like ik we say hes jesus. but at the same time jesus never felt like that. jesus was born without sin but in vash's eyes he is full of sins and no one can forgive him. bro, honey, god would forgive you anything. you are his favorite im sure. but no matter the arguments for the allegory vash can never be jesus cuz he carries the pain of his "sins" everyday PLUS THE ONES FROM THE HUMANS. idk. im sad and tired. my baby. its ok i forgive you. and im sure rem forgives him. im sure. im sad

-anyway, back to the kinda normal thoughts

-also i think vash thinking he has to forgive himself is kinda flawed. like instead of forgiveness he has to accept what happened and i think those are different things. ofc yeah july was messed up but he never intended to do it. idk

-ANYWAY

-huh, those speakers look like eyes

-cant even swallow in misery in peace anymore lmao

-:c not the day drinking

-i think thats vash talking but yeah....nothing is easy for my guy. hes kinda right, better than crying ig...

-i prefer spike-isms but i will also take needle noggin-isms thank u

-that man can move in such unnatural ways *hears the uncanny vash people cheer at a distance*

-oof, the ptsd got meryl

-also the question is not whether vash was going to take the bullet or not, the real question is how hard does that question makes me cry

- SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP

-OOF, i mean i 100% get meryl but OOF

-also YES THATS WHAT I FUCKING MEAN. AND I READ THIS ON [redacted] A FEW WEEKS AGO. THE BALANCE BETWEEN EXTREMES ITS JUST NULL, ITS NOT A COLOR AT ALL. his love and faith in humanity vs the pain they cause him...that balance creates a colorless emotion and IM SAD ABOUT IT.

-i hate that final page. i fucking hate milly protecting meryl from her memories while comforting her while protecting her from the rocks, i hate the people still insult vash even when he was long gone, i hate to see the children who saw the same thing as their parents try to convince them to stop because they know vash would never hurt people on purpose only to be ignored..and more than anything i hate vash apologizing for something he has no control over.

-ALSO I ALSO FEEL LIKE CRYING VASH-

[let it be on the record that i needed a minute to continue with the volume]

chap 6:

-OH NO IT STARTS

-"how could i have known?" youre telling me you spent years studying yourself and other plants and never saw one with black hair? really? (im not saying its a plot hole, im saying he was too distracted being a dick)

-so that was his imagination im assuming

-TESLA MENTION WE WIN

-OH GOD OH NO PLS GET ME OUT OF HERE NO PLS NOT THIS

-i love her dialogue with the funny glasses lmao, she really was the only mom ever

-oh..here come the tears

-oh right..they used to be like this

-oh...oh god

#trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #IM IN SO MUCH PAIN AND TURMOIL #MY BABY MY 150 Y/O BABY

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fairyyeo · 2 years

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head spin

pairing — richkid!taehyun x richkid!reader

featuring — yeonjun, soobin, chaewon, and jay

genre — gossip girl au

tw — alcohol consumption

wc — 1.4k

a/n — inspired by a gossip girl episode i just watched idk i kinda had fun writing this im probably gonna turn it into a full fic if everyone likes it !!!!

————

it was your birthday. not even a significant one, yet a party with this much grandeur would suggest otherwise. anyone would think it was celebrating a holiday like christmas or new year's eve.

to be fair, it was pretty magnificent and you were having the time of your life. in fact, you hadn't been this happy for a while. school was kicking your ass, not that you'd let it show, and your family couldn't care less about your feelings as they kept trying to force your relationship with choi yeonjun.

yeonjun was not a bad guy by any means. you truly did care for him as a friend and you knew the feeling was mutual. the two of you just weren't suited for each other romantically and you both knew this. it was becoming increasingly difficult to attend family affairs together and play the part of childhood sweethearts, linking arms and kissing cheeks as you were introduced to more forgettable faces. if you were being honest, this arrangement between your families was doing anything but bring you two together, lately you felt as though it was driving you apart.

you couldn't blame yeonjun, any time outside of school was pretty much spent at your side or yours at his. he was growing tired of pretending and getting worse at hiding it. you knew he was seeing other people frequently and you really didn't care, as long as he didn't get caught and make the situation more difficult for the both of you. if it kept him sane, you didn't mind. you didn't want to lose your friend completely.

speaking of yeonjun, you hadn't seen him for a while. you weaved through the crowd of people dressed to the nines, like yourself, and headed to the bar.

"hey chae, have you seen yeonjun recently?" you asked chaewon as she downed a shot.

"you just missed him, he came to snatch a bottle of wine and dragged soobin away with him." she giggled picking up her glass that the bartender refilled.

you quickly scanned the room and managed to catch a glimpse of yeonjun and soobin stumbling upstairs, one holding the wine and the other holding the glasses.

you rolled your eyes jokingly, "i just hope they end up in a guest room and not my bedroom."

chaewon laughed loudly, leaning back as she clutched her stomach, "yeonjun becomes more shameless everyday."

"yeah," you chuckled, motioning for the bartender to pour you a shot, "i do wish he'd be a little more careful, though."

chaewon knew where this conversation was going, she'd heard it many times before—not that she minded. she knew that talking about it was good for you, since there was no one else you trusted to tell. she always tried to keep the discussion light and full of jokes, you needed that and she knew it.

taehyun, who's eyes had been laser focused on you all night, could also easily guess where the conversation had ended up, even if he was on the other side of the room. your palm rested on your hairline as chaewon smiled, trying to coax a smile from you. he knew that look of despair on your face and chaewon's matching look of persistence as she continued joking about your complicated relationship with yeonjun.

he felt relieved when he finally saw you crack a grin and stand back up, heading back onto the makeshift dance floor—which looked incredible, if he did say so himself. after all, he'd organised this whole party, not that you knew it.

taehyun didn't even hear the girl who'd been talking to him for the last five minutes, he was lost in his own mind. "sorry, i need some air." he'd said bluntly, leaving her mid-sentence.

taehyun strode towards the patio balcony, grabbing a beer along the way. chaewon didn't miss this and was going to follow him out but chose to let him be alone for a minute first, since that's clearly what he wanted.

truthfully, you hadn't even been aware that taehyun was at your party. in your defense, there were a lot of people there and you didn’t get the chance to properly greet at least half of them.

chaewon decided she’d let taehyun mope for long enough. she was going to get him back inside one way or another.

she headed outside to the balcony, making sure to close the glass sliding door a little too loudly so that taehyun would know she’s there. as planned, taehyun threw a half-ass glance over his shoulder to see who had joined him.

“hi kang,” chaewon greeted, going to stand next to him, “what’s going on?” she dragged out the end of the question in a light-hearted tone.

“just getting some air.” replied, not bothering to spare chaewon another glance.

to his surprise, she laughed. “you’re lying. only sad people escape to the balcony at parties.” her eyes narrowed, “so what’s wrong?”

“i don’t know you that well.” taehyun tried to wriggle out of the question.

“i know, but i’m so smashed i probably won’t remember in the morning anyway.” she shrugged.

now she was the liar, but so what?

taehyun let out a big breath, like he’d been holding it for some time. “if you say so.”

“what’s the problem, kang?” chaewon asked, pushing herself up to sit on the railing.

taehyun immediately pulled her down as he simply replied, “its y/n.”

she almost choked on her drink, “well that’s not what i was expecting.”

“yeah, well, y’know.” it was his turn to shrug.

“what is it about y/n? do you like them?” chaewon questioned, starting to talk a little more seriously since he clearly wasn’t the laugh-off-your-problems type.

“what? no.” he replied a little too quickly and with too much defence in his tone, “i’m just worried about them.”

“why’s that?” she asked.

“well, it’s like this…” taehyun began.

the sofa you were sitting on had a great view of the balcony, so great in fact, that you saw the way chaewon placed a hand on taehyun’s back.

interesting, you thought. you were sure that chaewon wasn’t into boys.

you didn’t get much time to consider the situation as the guy sitting next to you slung his arm around you, pulling you closer.

“i don’t believe i’ve had the chance to wish you a happy birthday yet.” he practically whispered in your ear.

you recognised him as jay-something, you couldn’t remember his last name for the life of you. but that didn’t seem to matter to him as he placed a hand under your chin and turned your face towards him.

“is this okay for a birthday gift?” jay asked, making sure he wasn’t crossing any lines.

perhaps he didn’t know you and yeonjun were ‘dating’, perhaps he’d seen yeonjun run upstairs with soobin, or perhaps people were finally starting to realise the relationship wasn’t real between the two of you. whatever it was, not many people often offered to kiss you at parties, and when they did, you politely turned them down in fear of getting spotted with someone other than yeonjun.

however, if yeonjun was upstairs having a little fun, then you could do the same. besides, it was your birthday after all.

you nodded, “i couldn’t ask for anything better.”

with that, jay leant it and placed his lips on yours. it wasn’t long before you were on his lap and getting a little too carried away. to be fair, it had been a long time since you made out with someone, since you never did that with yeonjun and rarely had the opportunity to with anyone else. so you could excuse yourself for getting a little carried away, hands in hair and yearning kisses.

“…and now they’re in there sucking face with jay park.” taehyun said blankly, though he couldn’t bring himself to be mad when you pulled away with the biggest grin on your face.

“at least they look happy.” chaewon reasoned while she tried to soak in the entire dilemma that taehyun had just shared with her.

“that’s all i want.” he looked away, not able to stomach the sight of jay pulling you in for another kiss.

“we’ll work this out kang, don’t you worry too much, okay?” chaewon pat his back comfortingly once more before heading towards the door.

just as she was about to leave, taehyun called over his shoulder, “thanks for the talk, kim.”

she simply waved goodbye as she went back inside, leaving taehyun alone like he originally intended to be.

taehyun thought back on his conversation with chaewon. he knew he wasn’t in love, the two of you were nothing more than acquaintances, it wasn’t possible.

but if that was the case, then why was the thought of you making out with jay park completely nauseating? and why did the sight of your smile make his head spin?

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rianafying · 5 months

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journal entry time i guess

idk what i said in my last journal entry or how much of my chaotic life my journal is up to date with, but i’ve started earning a little more than i used to and things have been nice. going pretty smoothly. which is pretty shocking, considering how incompetent and inconsistent i am prone to being. i’ve been calm. i did have a full on panic attack this morning, but i did the steps and went back to normal in a few hours. i bought some cornflakes for myself as a treat. i wanted to get cinnamon toast crunch but they don’t have that at woolies, and the closest thing they have is cinni churros (mini churros dusted w cinnamon sugar), i’ve had them before and they’re good but they’re expensive, so i just got the honey nut cornflakes. oh here’s a thing, in bangladesh, cereal in general is called cornflakes regardless of whether it is actually flaked corn or not. obviously not in every family, but in mine and many other i know, this is the case. and by far the most popular cereal option is kellogg’s chocos. but i’m not a chocolate girl, so actual corn flakes for me thanks. (only second to cinnamon toast crunch, whatever that is made out of, toast? crunch? is it made out of crunch??)

i went on a walk like i have been doing everyday lately, just got home and i’m excited to take a shower and have a bowl of my good stuff. super excited. after that, i’ll prep for tomorrow’s shoot. but it’s in the evening so i’m not too stressed out. and it’s just one model and one outfit. so all good.

i have that stupid ass crush on this person that i spoke to once and now im posting stories on MESSENGER? trying to get their attention, it’s so dumb im. there is no excuse or explanation for this it’s pure pathetic. but i can’t stop thinking about this person. what do i even want out of this? nothing. because i don’t even like myself enough to let someone else like me. and they probably don’t even like me. which is fine. it’s fiiiiiiiiine. it’s fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

don’t they know it’s the end of the world. anyway, for some reason i think the movie of my life end this year. i’m not gonna do anything, but it feels that way, like, the credits are about to roll after the melancholy christmas scene. it just weirdly makes sense. that i won’t make it to next year. you know when a horrible death is juxtaposed with a nice new year’s eve kind of song or like the ending credits kind of song. i’m thinking of “the end of the world” by skeeter davis, but im not married to it.

i’m tired of it all actually. i’m tired of everything. i’m not devastated though. but i feel like im just done.

my journal entries are not supposed to make sense, and so they won’t. i’m literally writing it as i’m waiting for my scalp medicine to do its thing. my psoriasis has been completely out of control, and i’ve stopped trying to control it. i just go through the motions, i put on my medicines and oils when i can, and i do my homework, when i can, i wake up i do my chores and i go to sleep. and even at my happiest, i don’t think it’s worth it. i’m getting older, and i knew i’d be doing this by myself, and i know it’s not changing, ever.

maybe i’m just not that good at anything, and im fine with that, just let me step aside, i don’t want to participate anymore. i just want to get away. i want to stop. things are getting better and even in the scenario that everything works out as i hoped, i still don’t want it. what do i want? i don’t even want to read books or watch movies. but i still do. because that’s what i’m supposed to. i don’t even care anymore. i can’t think of something i care enough about. enough to stick around. i don’t know why or how my journal took this turn i thought i was doing fine but looks like im kind of not doing that well.

i’m so tired. i’m so so tired, please. but i know i’ve been much more tired before and i still was okay. so i’ll be okay. i will. but. i’m so tired. i took that test and i scored 100% on positivity and 5% on happiness. and that checks out. i’m not ungrateful, but im not necessarily happy. but i don’t like to let people know im not happy. because they take it as a chance to point out my flaws or to give unsolicited advice. i don’t even care. m

i’m just a little overwhelmed. maybe i need to stop trying to be okay all the time and actually go through the emotions instead of pretending they’re not there. i can’t be numb forever.

maybe i need to just feel super sad tonight and not do anything. i really feel like binge eating. i’ve been kind of doing that recently. not really full on binging but eating more than i *need* to. which i can’t afford to do for too long. i’m just scared of letting food go bad and of idk, not having food, because that does happen to me on weeks when there are surprise expenses. but it’s not as bad as it sounds, i don’t even eat that much regularly.

IM SO DISTRACTED. i’m so distracted and i can feel my heart beating faster than it should even though i am in bed trying to RELAX. idk what is wrong with me. things are no where near perfect but i am doing much better than i was a couple of months ago, better than last year, better than any year before. i think.

but i wish i was doing better than i am now. nothing too crazy, i wish i had the time, money and energy to properly clean and decorate my room. and to be able to pause worrying about bills and food constantly. hopefully ill figure out how to do things better so im a step above just making ends meet. things are actually good and getting obviously better, then why am i still so upset? why do i complain so much? i just feel like ranting and ranting and ranting because im avoiding the things i should actually be doing. such as cleaning and homework. but i have such a hard time getting started. what with adhd and all. and i cant believe i posted a story on facebook after so many years just so some random stranger will give me attention, what’s that gonna do? nothing!!!

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i just can’t do it, i can’t do things. i can’t do anything. I just watched 3 episodes of rory in yale and im in uni right now!!! isn’t that crazy? i’m living that life! i moved out, i live in my room which isn’t exactly a dorm room but it’s a unilodge so it’s close enough, and then what? i just feel like crying and i don’t even know why???? i’m not even that lonely, like i talk to my cousins and my friends all the time. i’m caught up with people, i meet people all the time, i participate in activities. i’m doing my best, i got 85-97% in all my assignments this trimester, and i just have two little assignments and an exam to go before my holidays start. but then the real difficult thing will begin. which is cleaning my room, which is the most godawful task to have ever been invented. but i’ll do it, and it’ll be hard and tiring and lengthy, and then what? do i get to enjoy myself? no i have to get a fucking job in hospitality or something, and earn extra money during my break. why does my scalp literally hurt. oh right because i have a severe chronic autoimmune disorder that makes my whole body flare up and makes my nails hurt. i love life 😍.

no but seriously, of all the things that could go wrong, psoriasis is still easy mode. i’m grateful. i’m very very grateful. you know what, it doesn’t really feel like i have the worst combination of problems like it used to feel before. like my eating disorder is kind of under control. so is my anxiety and depression. like it’s all still there but it’s not that bad? is it time for me to come to terms with the fact that the person i have a crush on is never going to text me again? but isn’t that nice? like isn’t that ideal? isn’t that literally what i wanted/want? it is actually. i think i just need some validation. it’s crazy how i end up wanting more validation when im on social media vs when i’m off of it for months. maybe after my trimester ends, i’ll get off of social media or figure out a solid plan to stick to that ensures i don’t spend too much time on socials, because it not only eats up my day but also makes me feel awful about myself.

it’s crazy how out of touch with my feelings and myself i get when im on social media. it’s decided then. i will severely limit my social media usage during my holidays. actually starting now. that’s one thing. and i’ve started walking regularly again, so that’s also good. what else, i go to therapy regularly, and i am journaling. i’m managing my money better? i’m doing the best i can. i’ve been emotionally self sufficient. i’ve been self aware and i have not been doing that bad. i’m being kind and forgiving to myself and to everyone else as well. i’m a better person now than i used to be, not necessarily in terms of intentions, but more in terms of consequences of my actions. but also because i’ve simply had the energy to do more for myself and for others. can’t fill their cup if my own is empty. things are good. i need to do something about my mood swings. this person i was talking to said to take cold showers to feel better and i would rather pour vinegar into my eyes than do that. but maybe i could give it a try. no i absolutely couldn’t. even the thought of it is jarring.

#personal #journal entry

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hanarchy · 3 months

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just paid 340€ to get my computer fixed and will be unemployed starting next week and now i have a toothache and i’m just fucking done

like ok i am far away from being poor (well maybe not that far but u know what i mean) but after the recent inflation on food and everyday stuff, i really wasnt even earning enough money to do small fun things.

like i went grocery shopping today and maybe bc of the looming unemployment i was thinking abt how it was when i started my job and how i enjoyed like. grocery shopping to cook sth nice and going to the fancier supermarket and getting little desserts and stuff and it was just kind of fun to do AND i was able to go on vacation that year

and now two years later i cant even afford to buy the cheese i like, i stopped getting haircuts bc i cant justify the expense, my winter coat was so torn this year that my mom ended up buying me a new one bc i kept saying it was fine and she was like ‘no’, i dont have hobbies, i dont take workout classes, i dont buy clothes or anything else, i cancelled my netflix subscription and might cancel my music subscription next i guess and go back to free spotify but i hate that idea and that service is getting worse by the minute… like yes i get coffee and croissants at coffeeshops but its legitimately the last indulgence i have left and i feel guilty even abt that and i am so fucking frustrated

like i quit bc of this bc i was like ‘i refuse to work 40hrs a week to afford NOTHING fun’ like when i have 150€ more expenses than usual i overdraw my account. i’m just tired. i’m so tired. and thats why i quit but now im gonna have even less money and idk idk im just so done

#i hate it here #sorry for the rant everyone i will be honest #my parents always kept money things far away from us #and we were always well off in a way that i didnt panic or anything even when things werent great financially #so this is… on top of being just objectively stressful also new for me and it is breaking my will to go on i cant lie #i mean that will is shaky and hard won to beginn with for me

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chaoticgremlinbrainspace · 1 year

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heg these are mostly food based musings based around Dick Grayson and with some bonus throwing adhd at Dick Grayson because hes funky

I am hungry as fuck and im thinking about Dick Grayson so (projects onto him so hard) I feel like being a vigilante/hero guy takes a lot of time and energy, right? and everything ever takes time and energy so sometimes I think dick would straight up just not get the opportunity to eat, and the length of time he goes with out being able to stop and eat depends on what's happening. I mean that or he has snack stashes around the city lol, which I mean would still mean there would be times hes going hungry. that and hes a workaholic, so he might be able to eat and work especially of the thing allows for that, however hes probably gonna be too absorbed/focused on the task that eating would just not happen anyway. Especially if he has to prepare it. and like idk what his day job is/if he has one but he probably at least gets something for lunch more consistently(food being served there, restaurants in the area, vending machine), because im not sure he would have energy/time for breakfast everyday, he might be able to grab a snack or something, he might not. dinner he might also be able to do somewhat, depends on if he eats before or after patrols, hell even how late/early he eats dinner too. I feel like his chances of actually eating dinner increase the earlier he does it, but not too early because thats just lunch twice. and the later he eats the more its just a really early breakfast. and eating before patrol could throw him off his game(stomach hits suck) and after would heavily depend on patrol not exploding him energy level wise, and if he isn't like heavily wounded. plus they would probably be light anyway due to being later anyway. or he just doesn't eat dinner. he might just subsist solely on snacking through out the day when he can. or grazing, eating a little bit here and there. head canon stuff now this is the main projection part and less “being a vigilante is hard bc how the fuck does anyone have time or energy to be a somewhat functioning person” stuff, tho its still there lol: of course I'm also a big fan of adhd haver Dick Grayson so *tosses that into the mix* he can just straight up forget to eat for a while, and realize hours later he feels like shit because he hasn't eaten anything all day. he buys food, just puts in the fridge but sometimes it gets shoved to the back or put into a drawer and then its forgotten until its gone bad. or he just cant get himself to actually start making food. hes hungry he wants food he just cant get up and start. and then he spends 3 hours either fucking around/doing work stuff. or the vice versa where he gets bored so he snacks on things and ends up eating too much. maybe he starts making himself food, but ends up getting distracted and never finishes, and then when he remembers hes lost all his momentum. so he just doesn't eat. maybe he can’t only eat certain foods because of texture issues, and its the only thing available, maybe he suddenly finds his favorite food unappetizing, maybe he becomes fixated on a food and eats almost only that thing, maybe it changes, maybe it stays consistent. maybe he impulsively buys a bunch of snack food, maybe he forgets to go to the store, maybe he has to go back out late at night to restock his groceries Because hes hungry but has no food. maybe he buys takeout a lot, maybe its the same thing every time, maybe he gets sick of it but hes tired, sore, and hungry. maybe the hungry feeling goes away, and he gets surprised when his body starts reacting negatively to running on fumes for hours, maybe he hyperfixates on something and doesn't eat for hours, and doesn't realize until he gets up and is immediately hit by every status effect ever. maybe he has a few meals he can just make really quick, maybe he has frozen foods that are infinitely easier to make but he forgets.

#food talk #not quite eating disorder #but #talk of disordered eating #along with #adhd dick grayson #adhd #dick grayson #grem screams #dc #Projecting #lol #musings #dick grayson headcanon #rambling #I know stuff like this probably falls under #its superhero logic dw about it baby #but like its fun for me to think about #that and I like making him cringe fail in his Personal life #in my mind his hero persona is very put together and in charge due to the amount of time and energy thats dedicated to it #while his regular human guy life is in shambles due to the lack of time he would be able to devote to it #like he would be able to keep up the appearance of having it together #but like its an act he hasn't been able to take the trash out for while #in my mind #I hope to refine this head canon-y shit when I read the comics #I want to cringe fail him in character #grem screms

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b1mbodoll · 6 months

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AAAAAAA OMG DO I HAVE A LONG ASS ASK FOR YOU. MY DATE/NOT DATE HAS JUST CONCLUDED....

So a little back story - I worked with this guy this past summer and like the first time we met I alr liked him. Like he was exactly my type. Like 100%. But I'm super shy (never dated anyone, never kissed anyone, never held hands with anyone) so I never really did anything obvious that I liked him bc I was nervous. We kind of flirted (maybe) a lot near the end of the summer. We texted a lot a lot but he ended up moving up to college for his apartment earlier than expected so we never got to see eachother after our last days of work. There was lots of drama on my end surrounding that trust. Like mental anguish bc I fumbled the bag hard.

Anyways. We start school respectively (I go to school in NY and him in TX) and we don't talk that often, just snap like everyday. But as the semester goes on we reply to each other's stories and have short, friendly convos more frequently. Flashforward to like, a week ago or something. I reply to his insta story and we start talking. He finds out that I'm going home for Thanksgiving and he is to so he asks me to hang out. This is odd bc we weren't close enough as friends for me to think that he would ask to see me.

Anyways again, I'm skipping details bc otherwise I'll never finish this lmao - the date/not date was like everything else we do. Vaguely romantic but could also be friendly. He picked me, we ate dinner and then went ice skating together. He walked up to my door to get me, held open doors for me, and opened the car door to walk me back to my house after we got back. But like - no moves were made. No attempts to hold my hand or kiss me. AT ALL. But like he also complimented my butterfly hair lips like sir 😭😭 idk what you want from me.

But now I'm feeling kind of tired of 6-7 months of not knowing where we stand with eachother. So I texted him afterwards saying "Thank you so much for tonight, I loved seeing you again! Although, I did want to know if it was a date or if it really was intended as just a hangout, bc it did seem like it sometimes? Either way, I'd love to meet up with you again if we're both in town!" He then liked bith of the thank you messages and replied, we definitely should. But then he replied to the daye/not date ask with - I don't know. I'll have to think about it. He then said something about it being more than he anticipated but still good, so idk if that means that it wasn't intended as a date but became one and he enjoyed it or if he meant it as a date but I fumbled the bag (I give just as many mixed signals bc I'm an anxious coward lmao) but it still ended up okay.

HOWEVER, I AM A GENIUS, LIKE RIZZ MASTER 1000. I accidentally left something in his car so tmmr morning he's gonna drive back to drop it off (It's like an hour round trip for him). And tomorrow is the day I will stop being a bitch. I'm gonna tell him that I'm interested but that I also do genuinely enjoy him as a person so like, however he intends to meet up with ne in the future I'll be okay with that.

So yeah. Story time over 🫶🫶🫶🫶 Sorry that it's actually so long but I remember how excited you were so I wanted to let you know how it went 💗💗💗💗

IM ON MY KNEES RN STOP u r so cute and agh!!!!!! i will be needing an update with whatever happens pretty please, honey 🤲

im so ☹️☹️☹️ u guys went ice skating ☹️ that’s so so so so fucking cute!!!!!! that actually is so cute my heart cant take it ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ but no moves being mad.. 🤬 yeah i need to have a stern talking to with this man!!! what r ur intentions with my little angel, you HEATHEN!!! hehe no but srsly dont be anxious sweetheart! i know its hard n way easier said than done, but you seem so wonderful and im sure he thinks that as well! im so glad you had a good time <3

rizz master 1000 has me crying omg ur too silly 😭 but him driving AN HOUR TO GIVE U UR THINGS STOP IT my little heart is so warm :( im proud of u for messaging him and asking for clarification about what the lil hangout was! n pls u r anything BUT a bitch!!!!! ur perfect and i hope things work out well with him!

dont apologize for he length! i love anything romance so inwas looking forward to this update!!!! wishing u the best of luck with him <3 mwah

#♡.signed. sealed. delivered.#♡.sweethearts #fullsun9890

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dahliasanddimples · 1 year

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DAY 62::… We passed the two month mark on Mother’s Day but linked up before that. UGH. Didn’t even last a week. Selfish. Of me. To do me like that. Selfish of you.. for everything. The more we talk and argue the more I realize I’m not really missing out on anything. Todays argument was so… it’s giving over it. I literally had to put the phone down bc I just couldn’t even listen to you! Lol it was funny bc you could actually still hear you yelling. I had things to do, it was too early. You called to say “sorry” but not really. It’s weird bc you say things but your actions don’t prove it. Like IM CALLING TO SAY SORRY WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!! Idk, mean it? Tf lol it’s so weird to be actually over it. To the point where it doesn’t phase me. Get under my skin. I told you how I felt and it was instantly turned around. I said I needed you there and it’s being switched on me? I said I needed to just hear from you and it needed to be used against me but when I do it “it’s not the same” I tell you I needed you and you can’t pick up bc you’re out with your friends? You’re not about to leave them bc you’re out with them. Why does it matter bc I never pick up when I’m with my friends. I should’ve hit you with at least I text back but no. All of a sudden it’s “really? Really that’s all it would’ve took. No it wouldn’t have” meh meh meh lol I can’t. I couldn’t. And I didn’t. I tell you I needed you like I was there for you and all of a sudden it’s different, it’s not the same and I always bring up things I do for you. I shouldn’t ever do things and rub them in your face. It’s like projecting the fact that you couldn’t even do something FREE for me. Like I’m here asking you for something that costs! Being there for someone is free. If you cared even enough, even a little for me, you would’ve called me. And I was mad but now im sad. Bc as I’m writing this I realize I a lot. That I deserve better. That I should absolutely block you. That you really ain’t shit. That I don’t think I even wanna play these games with you.

For all that I did for you, I couldn’t even get a text back. For all I did for you, I couldn’t even hear back from you. And I give myself over and over and I sacrifice my time for you over and over. I lower my standards for you over and over. I come back to you, over and over.

What is it about you. I think it was bc you were fun. We had fun. We both like to drink and party. But you’re not fun anymore and this summer won’t be fun either. You have no money no job. Not even real sheets on your bed. I want my pillows back.

Scared of rejection. Scared to face the consequences of your actions. Scared. Just scared. And I think I’m tired of teaching YOU things. I think I’m tired of taking care of you. I honestly cannot even imagine a future with you. I can’t imagine anything past a couple years. I wanna travel. I wanna move to a different city, a different state. That’s not possible for you. And a part of me hurts knowing that you might meet someone when you’re in a better position in life. I think it hurts bc I was there for you when you were nothing. Literally nothing. But I know I’m not the one bc the way we argue, you always have to be right. The way we argue, it’s a power trip, for you. Whatever I said to you, got to you. And now, now it’s never gonna be the same. We tried it and I realized I don’t like you anymore. I see your true colors and I don’t like it.

You don’t brush your teeth everyday

You don’t shower everyday (&you actually smell)

You vape (like your life depends on it)

You have no job

You have no aspirations, no motivation

Not a good dad. (You are a once a week baby daddy)

You’re too skinny for my taste (you would lose in a fight)

Hairline receding (at young age)

Overly dependent on drugs

You’re a leech.

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kpophubb · 2 years

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Morning baby 💗 💌

I hope you slept well? :) I have my training in 20 min , but I really want to write to you 💗❤️‍🩹❤️

First of all you haven’t offered me in any ways, I’m sorry that you felt that way or maybe the way I wrote was quite triggering 🥹 but you are fine , MORE THAN FINE ACTUALLY. I just read your response and literally im so happy if I actually received a real hug from u🌞🙈💖

Thank you for your understanding and efforts and just the love you put in your messages, it is really really precious to me 🥹❤️

I actually wish I could train myself to control these feelings and the need of affirmation from others. Life really doesn’t make sense for me anymore. I want to give up , but these 2 months I feel like I grew stronger and there is still something holding me back , maybe I’m afraid of dying idk . ., but im tired of living you know ? It’s so exhausting and pointless

thank you for being my safe place now , being the person I can trust and open up , I don’t want to change for the worse … and tbh I just exist doing tasks on a daily basis , thank you for being open and accepting… literally 😭🥹🥹 AHHH OMG I FEEL MY EYES GEETING WATERY NOOO🙈🙈🤧

You are very good person , amazing and I hope you will have SOOOO MANY GOOD EXPERIENCES:) also I hope my emotions and things I share aren’t influencing your day / mood 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I’ll add bebe songs to our playlists :)) I love first 2 , I’m not sure if I have heard 3rd one

About book yes def :) ahowww me when u get them :))

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 🥺❤️

What are your plans for today ? Have the most wonderful day 🏞🏞🏞

~ 🐁 :)

My 🐁 anonie ~☺️💗 noooo omg I’m not even offended in the slightest so dw!!! Your emotions and rants really DO NOT affect my mood at all. Yk the reason I chose my occupation and major of medicine? It’s bc I always wanted to grow up to be kind and help people around me. I feel valid about myself when I can make others feel comforted and smile so I LOVE getting your messages and lifting u up!💖 and about being exhausted and feeling like giving up on life, I mean don’t even think it’s coming from someone really positive minded and full of happiness, but it’s coming from someone who comes from a place of being suicidal and hopeless in life too. There was once a point in my life where I just existed, cried myself to sleep everyday, and would indulge in self harm cause I hated myself and hated life. I didn’t want to live cause I felt like nothing good could come out of it. Back then, if someone told me that things are gonna get better one day and I’ll be really happy in the future, I would’ve never believed them. Heck, I’d feel like they’re all lying cz my life was so messed up I didn’t even believe I could wake up to a tomorrow where I could be at peace or smile even if it’s for a second. But after constant fighting and hanging on for 2-3 years, I came where I did today. Where I’m happy, smiling, ambitious again and thankful for all the bad things that I went through bc they made me stronger and brought me to where I am today. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” That’s the truth. I’m sure you will see your rainbow soon just hang in there. By saying hanging in there I mean cry, feel sad, fall down, get tired, doubt yourself but crawl back up again with the remaining of your strength. And never feel like there’s no hope cause there will ALWAYS be hope no matter how ugly situation you’re faced with. Maybe not now, maybe not soon, but someday you will DEFINITELY be happy and look back and be grateful for enduring it all. 💓

And aww 🥺 idk if I’m a good person yet but I try to be and improve myself everyday. Baby steps towards my dream person slowly!💖 and I’m glad I can make you feel safe. There’s nth more reassuring than having someone who listens to everything you gotta say without judging you and understanding you, ik. As for what I’m gonna do today, aaah idk yet. 😩 probs gonna just lie down and eat a lot. Bc my books haven’t arrived yet and and I bought a new makeup palette a few days ago?🤣 I just wanna try it out even tho I’m not that much into makeup. I barely wear it! And IM EXCITED BC MY SKZ ALBUM IS OTW and I wanna order manifesto:day 1 enhypen albums!! I saved money for that 🥹 but the kpop store isn’t replying to my msgs yet and I’m so impatient.🥲 I love youuuu saurr much too (says it in jakey’s aussie accent) and have a great day❤️🥰 DID YOU KNOW BEBE REXHA DID A REMIX W ITZY??????!! THAT TOO OF ONE OF MY FAV SONGS OF HERS ITS GONNA BE RELEASED TMRW IM SHAKING IM SO EXCITEDD!!!😭😭😭😭I’m in a really good mood today bc my jakey is all recovered from covid! Man, I prayed for my love so so much and I couldn’t be more grateful to god that he’s healthy and active again!💗💗🤲🏻

#mia’s asks #🐁 anonie #❤️💖🤗🥰#cat pics always cz I LOVEE cats 🥰#and you seem to be cute like one

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kusundei · 1 month

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u guys r so weird like both of you .

no bcuz like ur both such hypocrites??? it started earlier at the breakfast where ur complaining ab him to his parents like whaaat.?? u bring up his issues w smoking and jts like ummm. u know our entire family smokes right. sam smoked too. like huh but no this is an issue with the baby now. ur so like oblivious to how addiction works its kind of crazy? like of course hes gonna have a hard time quitting hes been smoking for like 30 yrs idk man . same w the drinking like uhhh. ?? its also so odd to me bcuz ur complaining ab him being an “alcoholic” but he just sorta drinks a beer or two a day. YOU. were an alcoholic. dont forget that.

like u guys r so dumb bcuz idk i keep alternating back and forth on who i feel worse for but u both r doing practically the same thing to each other? ur complaining hes complaining. youre yelling hes yelling. you both r going out of ur ways to piss each other off and its so tiring???

no bcuz the way you were like “yeah and i was telling him that i dont care if youre stressed, i dont need to be your punching bag because its not my fault.”

do you hear yourself? do you not realize you do rhe exact same thing to him AND me? everyday? hell id argue jonathan is so much nicer ab everything despite how annoying it all is. YOURE just mad because youve never had someone actually retaliate towards ur bullshit. not that im choosing sides here because jonathan as well is also kinda fucked up but just like. youre both hypocrites, youre making things worse for the both of you. neither of u can acknowledge when to stop or when youre wrong and its sooo sickening.

it i could stand up for myself i wouldnt even. why? it gets me nowhere with you and jonathan as well because you two r one in the same. you will never acknowledge when youre wrong and you will keep fighting till youre both too upset to talk anymore. god u guys r so annoying sometimes and the fact ur shoving me in the middle???? YOURE making ME aggravate jonathan cuz its not like he can do anything to me but still..???? why do i have to be involved? why does jonathan talk ab me too? like what the heeelll.

as much as my uncle sorta made me mad sometimes i wish he didnt move out now bcuz . im alone here. i mean he just moved out yesterday but still im like.. ughh…….

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