#idk how to explain it i’m literally just a bunny
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my kin experiences keep getting weirder 😭😭
i’m sure i’m a black wolf SOMETHING (been using therian) n my ferret “theriotype” is more murky, but i’m also just.. a bunny?? idk if i’m a bunny therian i just know i AM a bunny yknow? but also i don’t like calling myself a therian kinda cuz like therianthropy is more mental and has something to do with “knowing you’re human” but i’m not human in any way?? i’m literally a bunny??
literally somebody help me i’m so lost and probably overthinking it
#i am so confused#otherkin#therian#kintype#therianthropy#caninekin#wolf therian#wolfkin#wolf theriotype#ferretkin#ferret therian#angora ferret theriotype#ferret theriotype#bunnykin#bunny#idk how to explain it i’m literally just a bunny
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Bloom. °˖✧✿✧˖°
“I said, don’t. Just shut the fuck up and let me have this. Just one more time, please…”
→ Chapters list ←
⚘4. Spring Is Gone
🔞For Mature Audiences Only🔞
╔══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╗
⚘Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader
⚘Synopsis: After being granted with “closure”, you try to enjoy your last night with Jungkook. It’s an emotional and fucking steamy mess.
⚘Genre:Forbidden love
⚘Word count: 13K+ 🥴
⚘Warnings: 18+ for mature audiences only, MDNI, emotional, mentions of cheating, active cheating, HEAVY smut, mouth spitting, wine kissing (idk if it’s actually called this but it’s what I have always called it LMAO), crying during sex, emotional sex, EMOTIONAL EVERYTHING YOU WILL CRY I AM WARNING YOU, grief, breaking up (sort of?), panic/anxiety attacks, alcohol, stealing (lol it’s kinda cute you’ll see,) making love (different from fucking), sort of rough, unprotected sex (always be careful, Y/N is on BC!), SAD JUNGKOOK I REPEAT SAD JUNGKOOK!!!! let me know if I miss anything there is a lot in this chapter.
⚘Disclaimer: This story in no way reflects the characters of those who are mentioned. It is pure fiction and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. Nothing is real in this story.
⚘A/N: The long awaited chapter. This is a long one. I cried. A lot. Holy shit? It’s actually so sad lol but also has some good smut. This isn’t the last chapter, as I said before this is a full on fanfic, I also have it on Wattpad but it gets barely any reads so if you are interested in that let me know. After this chapter, things get very… drama filled? Idk a good word for it lol. I hope you enjoy, and I’m sorry in advance if you cry. I highly recommend listening to the songs, each of them have a place in every chapter which is why I list them lol. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy. Love you.❤️
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↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ :
♪Merry Go - DPR Ian
♪Gimmie Love - Joji
♪The Astronaut - JIN
♪Dope Lovers - DPR Ian
♪sex money feelings die - Lykke Lie
♪Angel - The Weeknd
♪Nerves - DPR Ian
♪505 - Arctic Monkeys
♪I Love You So - The Walters
♪Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex
♪Cry - Cigarettes After Sex
✧━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━✧
Since you both agreed on enough of the heavy shit, you spend time together. The mood is heavy for some time, almost awkward, which is why you break out the several bottles of wine you bought this week in an attempt to cope with the end of you and your flower. You’d much rather drink it with him anyway.
You can always buy more.
The wine helps. After you’ve both had a glass, it feels less strained. You continue eating pizza and watching whatever sappy drama is on TV. He picks up on his rant, starts explaining how sex is definitely comparable to pizza; sex creates life, and without sex, we wouldn’t have discovered pizza. Makes total sense. It’s stupid, but he has a point—a very Jungkook thing to think up.
By the time you’re both three glasses deep, you’re a bit wine-drunk. He holds his liquor much better than you do, but you can tell he’s feeling all fuzzy inside. You check your phone as he sits sprawled out on your couch, taking up almost the entire damn thing with his bulky ass. It’s nearly 11:30 pm… around the time he should probably go home.
You glance at him, debating whether to subtly kick him out or not. You don’t want to, god no. It literally makes you sick thinking about it. But you shouldn’t let him stay either, should you? You’re supposed to end this. This was the last night.
But you see how content he looks—like a big, overgrown spoiled dog with a belly full of treats, relaxing next to his favorite person.
You did say one last night… technically the night isn’t over. And he shouldn’t drive in this state, really, if anything, it’s just for his safety…
So you nudge his leg with your foot, and he turns his head lazily towards you, arches a brow, “Hm?”
“Sleep over?”
Oh, he fucking grins. His dimples on show, his eyes crinkling up adorably, and his big bunny like teeth saying hi.
Because what you don’t realize is he wasn’t going to leave. Fuck no. You said one last night, and he was going to milk that for everything it was. No way in hell was he going to go home tonight. If he’s being frank, that’s why he drank three glasses of wine. He didn’t need it. But he knew he could use it as a loophole to staying the night. You wouldn’t let him drive drunk.
He knows damn well what he’s doing, and he’s elated that you offered to let him stay. It means you want him here.
Even after all the bullshit, you still want him here. You want to prolong it, too.
“Hell yeah.”
He winks and then leans up a bit to stretch, causing his shirt to lift and give you the most indulgent peak of his stomach. You shamelessly stare, and he absolutely notices, lifting his arms a bit higher just to give you a better look.
He loves it when you look at him like that.
But then he stands up, casually grabs his car keys from the coffee table, as if he isn’t fucking teasing you.
Fuck. The wine is definitely kicking in. The warm fuzzies in your tummy are spreading elsewhere.
“Gonna go grab some stuff from my car then, make sure it’s locked, I’ll be right back.”
You hum in response and lean back into the couch. Watch him as he walks out the door, and find comfort in the fact that you know he’s coming back… even if it’s the last time.
Jungkook is doing his best not to let his mind wander to the more damning thoughts as he walks out of your complex and into the parking lot. Because he feels the opposite, no comfort at all. His anxiety is spiked now that you’re out of sight. What if you don’t let him in when he makes his way back to you? What if you change your mind about the sleepover? What if you decide you hate him?
Not only that, but he feels like he’s wasting precious time. As if the five minutes he will be away from you (barely) are irreplaceable and he’s just wasting them. It’s literally the end of the world… he shouldn’t be wasting time.
But that’s just his anxiety speaking. In truth, he doesn’t actually need the things in his car… but he packed a few things before showing up unannounced—things he wanted to leave you with.
Such as the little Polaroid camera you bought for him months ago, one that you yourself have used every single time you’re together. You always snap little candid pictures of him, sometimes yourself. He finds your fascination with the thing so fucking cute. He uses it, too, of course. He often takes pictures of you without you even knowing it… and you’ve both definitely taken some more raunchy pictures, pictures that he keeps hidden away in a box for when he misses your touch. For his eyes only. They’re priceless to him, probably some of his most prized possessions.
Speaking of those photos, he also packed a box full of them just for you. Pictures you’ve taken of him, of both of you, of anything and everything. He wants you to have them, wants you to be able to look at them when you miss him a little too much. He went through the photos over the last few days of no contact, greedily picked out his favorites, and put them into his own box for the same purpose. But he picked a generous amount out for you, too.
And as corny as it may sound, he packed a few pieces of his clothing. He knows how much you love stealing his shit, especially his shirts. Several are still missing, but he won’t ask for them back. He’Ll gift you with more, made sure to spray his cologne on them too, so that you can smell him on them. He packed his favorite shirt, hoodie, and something he will reluctantly, but willingly, part with. His denim jacket.
All of them are Calvin Klein branded. The shirt is basic, just a black shirt that’s fitted on him but swallows you whole. It’s the one you often steal when you sleep over at his second apartment, but he never let you take it home because it was his favorite. It’s worn in and soft, that’s why he likes it. But it’s yours now, just like him.
The hoodie is the same, basic black, one that you always tried to steal but never succeeded in doing so. It’ll be like a warm hug when you miss him, he thinks. You’ll love it more than he will. You’ll need it more than him on nights that you feel lonely.
The jean jacket isn’t anything special in appearance. It’s dark denim but is lined in that soft wool that keeps you warm and cozy. He wore it often in the cold months, thought it made him look handsome, but also kept him comfy. He’d rather you have it. He wants to keep you warm forever, hold you in his arms and never let go, make sure you never feel cold again… but he can’t exactly do that. So instead, he’ll give you his jacket.
The last thing is one of his chains. God, he knows you love those damn chains. He almost always wears one, silver or gold, depending on the day. And you always make sure to tell him how much you like them. He never really understood it; it’s something so simple. But you swooned for it. After you guys fuck, you’re always touching it, playing with it. Even when you guys aren’t fucking, you seem to have the impulse to touch it. Maybe it’s a girl thing, he doesn’t know. But he’s giving you one since you liked it so much.
Definitely a girl thing.
He also brought the bottle of perfume you dropped on his floor that night you stormed off… he was going to give it back. Return it to its rightful owner. But as he’s grabbing the bag full of goods out of his car… he impulsively takes it out. Wants to keep it. Wants to be able to smell you, too. He’s sure you won’t miss it.
You won’t miss that perfume as much as he’s going to miss you.
He quickly grabs the bag of stuff, nearly dropping it as he grows more restless because he’s not with you right now. You’re too far away, and every single second counts tonight.
So he rushes back into your complex building, nearly full-on sprinting back to your door.
As he lets himself back in, you’re in the exact same position. Sitting comfy on the couch, eyes on the TV, your wine glass a bit more empty now. Thank fuck.
He wasn’t even gone for more than four minutes. And yes, you did notice, you didn’t like it. But you knew he’d come back. So you waited. Wasn’t a big deal.
He’s just dramatic, for good reason of course. You can see the unease written all over his face as he pads his way back towards you, sets the bag next to your couch. He doesn’t disclose what’s in it and you don’t ask, you just assume it’s the bag he usually keeps in his car for impromptu nights like this.
He doesn’t want to present these little gifts to you yet… because he feels like that’s what’s going to really finalize it. So he’ll wait a little longer.
Would put it off forever if he could.
He takes a seat next to you, obnoxiously close. Your couch isn’t big, but there’s enough for two people to have a comfortable distance from each other. He doesn’t care. He wants to make sure he’s touching you in some way, so he nearly squishes you as he sits down as casually as ever and slings one of his arms on the back of your couch so that his fingertips rest on your shoulder.
He has an almost jittery energy about him right now. Obviously, emotions are heavy; it’s your last night together. It’s kind of hard to act totally ok and normal when you’re both well aware that this is the last night. But even then, somethings a bit off.
You study him for a moment, notice how he’s running his teeth over his lip ring again, how his leg is bouncing up and down a bit even as he tries to mimic a relaxed position on the couch. Maybe he’s anxious?
He is. However, that’s not what this is all about. He wants to kiss and touch you so badly it hurts. But now he’s unsure if he’s allowed. He doesn’t know what’s on and off limits tonight, and he doesn’t want to jeopardize your time together by fucking it up and making unwanted advances.
Overthinking. He wishes he didn’t do that. But he doesn’t even realize it’s happening until after things are said and done, doesn’t know how to stop it.
You assume maybe it’s just nervous energy thanks to the impending sense of doom you both feel. You feel similarly… but you hide it better.
More wine would help, you think.
So you lean forward and grab the bottle which is half empty, this is the second bottle of tonight. You top off each of your glasses as Jungkook watches, and you take a sip.
His eyes stay glued to your lips. He loves your lips. Loves all of you, but especially your lips. He thinks that will be one of the things he misses the most. How soft and pillowy they are, how they’re a bit rosey in color, how they taste, how they pout out a bit when you drink wine, how wine stains your lips so prettily, how they feel wrapped around his—
Yeah. Fuck it. One last night.
“Gimmie some.”
You glance at him and arch a brow, wonder if he’s referring to the wine… or maybe pizza? You literally just topped his wine glass off. He’s being weird.
“I just topped you off?”
He shakes his head, “Nah, I want yours.”
You scoff at him because now he’s just being childish. But he’s looking at you so expectantly, almost stubbornly, as if he’s asking for something more than the wine he’s demanding.
And he is. He doesn’t even really know what though. He’s being greedy, wants your wine because your lips touched the glass, because remnants of your spit might have melted into the wine after taking sips. He doesn’t want his own damn wine.
He wants to be greedy tonight. It’s not like he has anything to lose, he’s already lost it all.
So he reaches over and takes the wine glass from you, gets a bit impatient when he sees you aren’t gonna give it to him right away. He takes a slow sip, places his lips in the same exact spot yours have been every time you’ve taken a drink. It’s ridiculous, really… but he swears he tastes the faintest essence of you on the glass. Closes his eyes, swishes the wine around in his mouth, trying to see if he can taste more of you…
Ok, so, he’s definitely being a bit ridiculous. But fuck, he already feels like he’s going crazy. Can’t really help himself when he is desperately craving any little crumb of you.
You don’t know what to make of this. Part of you is amused, part of you is irritated, because he just stole your damn wine. But you also know there must be more to it, there has to be.
He cracks an eye open, sees you staring at him like he’s crazy, because he kinda is. Only for you, of course. He just swallows the wine and shrugs innocently.
“Yours is better, mine tastes weird.”
You roll your eyes at him because he has the same wine as you do. You can’t figure out what his game is here. So you reach over and take his wine and say, “Yours is literally the same as mine.”
To prove a point you take a sip of his. Just as expected, tastes the exact same as yours. He watches you carefully… gets an idea. An incredibly impulsive,almost intrusive idea.
But again… it’s the last night. And he’s greedy.
You huff at him and point his wine glass (which is now yours apparently) at him as you watch him take a huge gulp out of your glass again.
“Yeah, see, tastes the exact-“
He abruptly grabs the nape of your neck and cups your jaw with his free hand, his thumb coming to rest on your bottom lip and lowering it. He places his lips on yours, waits until your mouth instinctively opens just as it always does for him, and then funnels the wine into your mouth.
Fucking feeding you the wine like a baby bird.
It catches you by surprise at first, causing you to cough a bit and causing the wine to dribble down your chin, but you quickly gulp it down just like he gulps down the little gasp and cough you let out. He kisses you greedily, doesn’t even build up to it before he’s pushing his tongue into your mouth and swirling it against yours, tasting the heady mixture of wine and you. Fuck, you’re his favorite taste.
You don’t protest; of course you don’t. Was definitely a bit bizarre, but also… fuck, that was hot. Was a bit weird but in a super sexy way. You kiss him back, letting out little huffs of air into his mouth as one of your hands also finds the nape of his neck. The other hand automatically rests against his chest, clings to the fabric of his shirt tightly.
You both stay like this as long as possible. The kiss only grows more desperate and aggressive, teeth and tongue clashing beautifully together like thunder and rain. Your soft pants turn into eager breathes at some point, and he knows you need to breathe. But fuck, he wants to stay lip locked with you until he passes out.
This is when you start to second-guess things. Yes, this is the last night together… but knowing it’s ending makes the guilt a bit more prominent. This wouldn’t be ending if it wasn’t wrong, but it is wrong; sleeping with him again just seems so contradictory or maybe even hypocritical.
So you push at his chest lightly, a silent signal for him to slow down. God, he hates the way his stomach lurches. Can’t fathom the idea that you might kick him out right now. Please, god, don’t do this. I’m not a weed, I swear, I’m her fucking flower. I need her one more time, he silently prays even though he’s never been religious or prayed before.
When he pulls back with heavily lidded eyes, you speak up hesitantly, even though you don’t wanna stop, god not at all.
“Kook, we shouldn’t…”
That’s all you say. Because it’s really that simple. You shouldn’t be doing this; you should never have done it at all. But even then, you lack the ability to convince him. Because you want him, one last time. You’re just having a hard time willingly giving in again.
Jungkook knows you well. Knows your body language. He knows that if you truly wanted him to stop, you would’ve been more self assured when speaking. You wouldn’t sound like a meek little mouse, you’d be firm in telling him know. He can see the same thing in your eyes, it’s pure unadulterated want. But maybe you need reassurance, reassurance that one last time is ok, is needed.
You’ve both sinned so much already, one more time won’t change shit.
So his grasp on your jaw firms up a bit, he starts feeling a little too passionate about this. He coaxes your mouth open by smooshing your cheeks a bit before saying,
“Y/N, fucking don’t. Just let us have this, please.”
“But Kook-“
He grunts in frustration. Just as impulsively as he fed you wine kisses, he spits in your mouth. It makes you flinch, makes your pussy clench because fuck it’s so filthy but so hot. So intimate in a sort of fucked up way.
“I said, don’t. Just shut the fuck up and let me have this. Just one more time, please…”
He leans back down and starts kissing you again, licking into your mouth and adding more to the spit he put there moments ago. Doesn’t even give you a chance to protest. He kisses you like he’s going to die if he doesn’t. He’s sure he will. He’ll die a miserable death if he doesn’t love you one more time.
It's a bit harsh, but you know each other enough to know he isn’t trying to be forceful or rude; he’s just desperate. You are too, honestly. You know damn well if you said no and meant it, he would pull away and stop immediately. Your body has always been safest with him. You don’t want to stop, not really. You’re thankful he’s being like this. It’s the push you need to ignore the guilt for a while longer and share your body with him one last time.
When he feels that you’ve melted into him, with no more tension or hesitancy in your body, he pulls away, nipping at your lower lip once and then sucking on it. Then his lips travel down, and he licks the wine staining your chin off before placing sloppy kisses down your neck.
He doesn’t even ask before he starts sucking and licking on your sensitive skin. Not kitten licks, not gentle sucks, no, he’s full-on giving you hickeys, and you know it. You know it’s intentional when you feel him pull back a bit to take a peak, only to lean back in a second later and bite.
The hand on his nape fists into his hair, and your back arches a bit, causing your chest to push against his chest, “Fuck, Kook…”
You should tell him to stop marking you up like this. You don’t like showing up to work or visiting friends with visible hickeys because questions get asked. And as much as you wish you could admit who they’re from, you can’t. No one knows about Jungkook. No one even knows you’re seeing someone right now, and you don’t want to have to come up with some story to cover your ass.
It’s a secret for you too.
But it’s the last night together… and the idea of having his hickeys on your neck, just to remind you a little longer that this was real, he was real, it’s an idea you quite like. Fucking love, actually.
He grunts at you, bites down a little harder, “What? Told you your wine was better…”
You let out a little breathy laugh when he says this, because of course he would play it coy, as if he didn’t just randomly start devouring you. Of course he’d blame it on the damn wine.
That breathy laugh quickly turns into a moan when one of his hands finds your tit, he starts squeezing and groping it through your shirt shamelessly, tweaking your nipple in the way he knows you love. God, he loves your tits. They’re the perfect size for him, he swears. They fit into his palm perfectly, feel like pillows, just like your lips. All of you is just so soft.
He kisses his way down your neck now that it’s all marked up in pretty purple and pink bruises blossoming, much like you do every single time he touches you like this. When he gets to your chest, he looks up at you through his lashes, and then he nearly rips your shirt off of you when he pulls it down.
His eyes leave yours as he looks down at the beautiful pillows on your chest. He just admires them for a moment, as if he’s at an art gallery studying each piece of art. That’s what you are, art. Everything about you inside out is otherworldly beautiful to him, tits included.
At this point, you’re lying down on your couch, legs parted for him. It’s a bit awkward because of how small the couch is, but that doesn’t stop either of you. He doesn’t give a fuck that he barely fits. He’ll make himself fit… just like he’s made himself fit into your life for months.
He wants to fit into your life just one more time, one more night, wants to meld together and tangle your roots so that it’s impossible to untangle them. He knows it’s wishful thinking, but that’s where this is all coming from. He’s not being aggressive and eager and greedy just because he’s horny, no, he’s doing this because maybe, just maybe, if he shows you with his body how much he loves you… how much he needs you… you’ll change your mind one day.
His mouth descends on your left breast, and he starts licking and sucking on your nipple. Your eyes roll back, and your entire body shudders at the sensations, fuck, it always feels like the first time. Before him, men didn’t pay such close attention to your body. Never even had a guy play with your tits before, Jungkook was the first. It was so odd at first, but it quickly became one of your favorite things. Makes you get so wet so fast.
You love how he looks up at you when he does it, his eyes full of asters and stars alike, hearts and moons, lust mixed with love and it’s a dizzying sight. You wonder if this is how you look when you go down on him, if that’s why it unravels him so quickly. You’d understand if so, you wish so badly you could snap a picture of him like this and preserve it.
It’s funny because he’s thinking the same thing. How beautiful you look when he goes down on you, how your eyes mimic his own, and how you have a hard time controlling your facial expressions when the pleasure is too intense. His favorite thing is when you start furrowing your brows and almost pouting at him without realizing it; the little pants and mewls you let out without meaning to, it drives him absolutely insane.
He wants to capture it, too. Fuck, tonight is a night to remember, he wants everything solidified in film. Every single kiss and touch and whisper spoken tonight, he needs to preserve it.
He sucks on your nipple for a few more seconds, his other hand flicking the nipple on your right breast. Wants to get you all worked up for him. he then pulls back, letting go of your tit with a wet pop sound. Lets his hands rest on your thighs and rubs his palms up and down them as he takes you in.
You let out a little whine when he pulls away, but you don’t protest. His pupils dilate heavily as he looks down at you because, holy fuck, you’ve never let him mark you up like this. He doesn’t even like giving hickeys, thinks it’s a bit immature, something meant for college. But seeing you blooming pink and purple from your neck down to your pretty tits? It makes his cock twitch hard in his sweats.
He removes one hand from your thigh, and reaches down to palm himself through his sweats. He squeezes his cock as he takes in your already debauched look. Marked up, tits out, lips swollen, eyes heavy… fuck. You may be what kills him, not heart break.
One last squeeze to his cock to relieve a bit of the pressure, and he lets go of it. He knows you’re getting a bit impatient by how you’re shifting in your spot, but you know he wants to take his time tonight. So you don’t say anything, no matter how much you wanna beg for his dick or his mouth.
He leans over the couch to unzip the bag he brought, grabs the Polaroid, and then readjusts himself between your legs. He sets the camera down on your stomach and brings his hands back to where your thighs are spread prettily for him.
You arch a brow, and he gives you a little smile. He still looks a bit fucked, his eyes black with want and his cock literally tenting his sweats. The smile is much too sweet for what you’re both doing.
“Take as many pictures as you want, there’s a full roll of film in there. Can keep ‘em for when you miss me.”
Now is not the time to cry. Fuck.
You nod at him, grab the camera and keep it close. You wonder if he planned this or if it was a coincidence that it was in his bag. Regardless, you’re thankful. Elated even, that he’s going to let you capture this and preserve it for those nights you doubt he was ever even real. There's no time to be sad now; you can grieve him when he’s gone.
He flicks his tongue over his lip ring as he looks down at you again, there’s so much that he wants to do tonight, but he knows damn well the moment his cock so as much touches you, he’s going to lose control. He needs to lavish you with love and attention first before even thinking of himself.
He grabs the hem of your shirt, gently pulls it over your head. You lay pliant, let him take the lead and do whatever he wants. God, anything for him as long as he keeps looking at you like that, like you’re the reason he breathes.
Next he takes off the pajama shorts you had on, slowly fumbling with them because of the awkward position on the couch. It makes you giggle at him, which makes him giggle at you. Now that you’re both a bit calmed down, not quite as worked up, you realize maybe the couch isn’t the most practical place.
Even then, you take the Polaroid and snap a picture, capturing his bashful smile on camera as he tosses your shorts away. He doesn’t protest; he lets you. Watches as you take the photo it spits out and stare at it lovingly before setting it on the coffee table.
His hands are on your thighs again, and despite the fact you’re nearly butt naked now, his eyes stay steady on your face. He reaches forward, grabs the camera from you, and snaps his photo of you. He focuses the Polaroid specifically on your neck to capture the hickies he left, wants to remember you marked as his. He retrieves the photo after the camera spits it out. He doesn’t look at it yet; just tosses it inside of his bag next to the couch.
At your huff and shy little glare you send him, he chuckles, hands you back the camera, and before you can scold him, he lightly swats your thigh. Then he gets off the couch and picks you up bridal style.
It’s hard to be mad at him when he makes you feel like a princess. You don’t actually mind that he took the picture, as embarrassing as it feels. You know it’ll be for his eyes only.
He easily carries you into your bedroom, kicks the door open, and deposits you on your bed. Wasted no time before he’s taking off his shirt and sweats, and fuck, you swear he’s a Greek god. Perfect, in every way. You could drool every damn time you see any bit of his skin. His broad shoulders, his tiny waist, his subtle and toned thighs, it’s a lethal combination. Any woman who sees him like this surely could keel over at how beautiful he is, how sexy he is.
He gets on the bed with you, and you set the camera on the pillow next to your head. He settles between your thighs once more. He can feel himself starting to get impatient now that you’re both in only your underwear; his cock is still hard. Only getting harder as he stares down at you, looking at how pretty you look with your hard nipples glistening with his spit and your soft thighs spread just for him.
He descends, placing open-mouthed kisses on your tummy. Your hands come to rest in his hair as they’ve done many times because you know you’ll need to hang on. You know where this leads, and anytime he eats you out, it’s an out-of-body experience. The things this man’s mouth can do are unholy, but still feel like heaven.
His eyes stay on you as he kisses his way down to your thighs. He nips at them lightly, causing you to whine. He covers your lower half in kisses, not missing a single ounce of your skin as he lavishes your inner thighs with sweet little declarations of love that just aren’t enough.
You lift your hips ever so slightly, tug on his hair a bit, send him a silent message that says please fucking put your mouth on me before I explode.
He smirks against your skin, looks up at you as he trails his lips upward, “Just feel it, baby, let me love on you.”
You want to roll your eyes at this, but don’t say anything. Just try to regulate your breathing. You know he’s wanting to savor it, savor you. He has every right to.
But he knows what you need; can tell by the way you’re scratching his scalp that you’re itching to feel his mouth on you. And if he’s being honest, he’s growing a bit impatient, too.
So he finally trails his lips past your thighs, onto the mound of your cunt which is still covered by your panties. The moment he sees the wet spot seeping through, smells your arousal, his patience disappears. Suddenly, he’s fucking starving.
He doesn’t even take your panties off before he starts kissing your cunt, sucking on your clit through the fabric. The feeling makes your body nearly jolt, your hips bucking into his face as you tug on his hair and let out an incredibly strained moan. Fuck. So much for taking it slow and dragging it out.
He becomes a man possessed once he tastes you. He’s letting out grunts as he borderline makes out with your panties, suckling the fabric to get every drop of your essence off of them and onto his tongue. It’s genuinely filthy, debauched, but god, it’s hot.
He leans back with flared nostrils and glistening lips, looking like he’s wearing lipgloss. Made specially by you, of course. He nearly rips your panties off and throws them into the pile containing his clothes at the end of the bed.
A coincidence, he tells himself. He’s totally not planning on ‘accidentally’ taking them home with him… not at all.
He leans back down, grabs your thighs, and props them over his shoulders as he maneuvers himself to lay flat on his stomach on the bed, his knees keeping him steady as he presses his face into your pussy.
He inhales you, takes in your scent. So musky and pretty, so uniquely you. He wishes he could bottle it up and wear it as a fucking cologne. He rubs his nose around in it, nudging your clit back and forth, almost as if he’s motor-boating you but instead of your tits, it’s your cunt.
God, it’s lewd. But he can’t get enough.
You already feel yourself becoming a little too turned on but wanna capture this moment. Wanna preserve how fucked he looks when he does shit like this, only ever for you. So you grab the Polaroid with one shakey hand that leaves his hair, and you snap a quick photo. It comes out a bit blurry, but you don’t mind. You place the camera back on the pillow alongside the fresh photo and have to double down on gripping his hair because, holy fuck, this feels so good.
His tongue finds your entrance and starts licking inside, trying to get every last drop of your cream greedily into his mouth. He uses his nose to stimulate your clit, one of the perks of having a big nose. He’s grunting as he licks into your cunt, almost sounds feral doing so. He doesn't even recognize his own voice with the damn noises he's making.
As much as you don’t want to admit it, watching this all unfold has you dangerously close already. Your thighs are quivering on his shoulders, and your toes are curling along his back. The way he’s breathing into your pussy, sucking and licking and nudging it with his nose, fuck, it has you a mess. The noises you’re making you can’t control; you’re starting to sound just as feral as him.
“Mmmph… Koo… gonna cum soon, slow down…”
You babble at him. You wanna cum so bad, but you also don’t want it to stop so soon. If you had one wish at this very moment, it would be that he does this forever. He looks so lovely in between your thighs, licking and sucking you up as if it’s his last meal.
Because it is his last meal. After this night, he’s gonna be starving for eternity without you.
He huffs out a little laugh against your clit, the hot air causing your back to arch and fingers to tighten in his hair; if he doesn’t ease up, your thighs are surely going to crush his damn head.
“Cum then. Fucking give it to me, Y/N. Let me earn it.”
He nearly growls at you before he dives back in with renewed vigor. He replaces his tongue, which was deep in your cunt, with his fingers. He uses his mouth now to suck on your clit. As you look down at him, you’d swear he was kissing it, making out with it, making love with his fucking mouth. The added pressure of two of his long fingers crooking inside of you is quickly bringing you to your end.
But what nearly makes you cum on the spot is the way he starts fucking humping the bed. Acting like a virgin humping a pillow, he moves his hips back and forth on the mattress just for some sort of stimulation to his cock because it started getting so hard it was damn near painful.
He knows how desperate he looks but doesn’t care. Clearly, you enjoy it, judging by the way you start panting, and your pussy starts pulsating and tightening around his fingers. They fuck into you harder, rubbing up against the spongy flesh inside, all while he makes out with your clit.
His eyes open to meet yours, and you’re done for. Seeing that desperation and love in his eyes mixed with the fact he’s fucking humping your bed makes your pussy throb. You begin cumming hard, tugging on his hair as your thighs clasp around his head. He damn near whines into your cunt, the noise only causing vibrations to make it so much more intense for you.
“Nnngh oh shit! Fuck, oh fuck Koo… oh my god, shiiit…”
Your hips buck up into his mouth eagerly; you can’t even control it. Your feet planted on his back, toes curling, thighs trembling around his face, and your face scrunched up in pleasure. You see stars- no- you see an entire fucking galaxy as you cum all over his face. Full of stars, moons, planets, gardens, all of which are full of him and every single fiber of his being.
All for him, just as he is all for you.
He fucks you through it, does his best to prolong it, but he knows he’ll make you cum again on his cock. He is aching to be buried inside of you. He wants to make love to you, not fuck you, he wants to meld your bodies together and become one tonight.
After what feels like forever, your body relaxes, and the spasming of your clit dies down, causing it to become sensitive. He can tell by the way your legs shake and your body jolts when he applies too much pressure with his tongue.
He reluctantly pulls back, licking your juices off of his lips before placing little kisses all over your thighs and pelvis. He looks fucked, his nose and his lips are glistening obscenely in the dim lighting, and his eyes don’t look brown anymore but black.
When your eyes travel downward, you whine at him. His cock is nearly tearing through his underwear, which you now realize he’s wearing your fav, the purple CK’s. There’s a little stain where the head of his cock presses, so much precum, all for you.
He looks down where your eyes are trained, and he snorts at himself. Jesus fuck, he really is acting like a desperate teenager, isn’t he? But he can’t find himself giving a shit. He wants you to know how desperate and unhinged you make him. He can’t say he’s ever been so horny he borderline fucked a mattress, not until now. And it’s all because of you.
He takes off his underwear with shaky hands and tosses them somewhere in your room. Then he settles between your legs again, rubbing up and down your thighs as he takes you in as if it’s the first time.
Your hands come up to his chest, scraping your nails down it slowly, which earns you the most beautiful groan from his lips. He bites down on them, and his cock jumps upward, begging to be touched. So you trail your hands lower until you find his aching length and take it into your hand, start stroking him lazily.
His breathing becomes labored, and his eyes flutter shut. Even just your hand feels so fucking good. His hips jerk forward, seeking more stimulation. Fuck, he can’t get enough.
One of his hands remains on your thigh while the other reaches for the camera. He boldly angles it directly at your cunt, snaps a photo of it, making sure to capture the way your slick folds glisten in the light, along with all of the purple flowers blossoming on your thighs. His tattooed hand is barely in the shot but is visible enough to make it clear it is him in this photo.
He tosses the photo in the same pile his clothes and your panties lay next to the bed, and then angles the camera towards your face and body to take another. He thinks you’re so pretty like this. Cheeks flushed, lips puffy because you always bite them right before you cum, eyes bright with afterglow. You look like an Angel, especially in this moment.
He’s sure you’re an Angel sent from the God he doesn't even believe in.
He snaps another photo and tries to steady his shaky hands because the way you’re stroking his cock feels borderline painful. Too slow; he needs more. Beads of precum drip down his cock as if it’s crying. It may as well be crying for you.
He quickly takes the photo, tosses it in the same pile, and then does the same with the camera without thinking. Is getting way too worked up with how you’re stroking his dick and looking at him like a Greek god.
Because he is one. You’ll say it time and time again.
He leans over your body and settles in between your legs. You remove your hand and wrap your arms around his shoulders, burying your fingers in his hair again. He grinds his cock onto your pussy, coating it in the remnants of your cum and juices, and starts kissing you slowly.
The kiss isn’t like the one with wine; this one is sweet, loving, still desperate, but more patient. His lips work with you in unison, your puzzle pieces coming together once more. You can taste yourself on his lips, and it makes you moan into his mouth, which causes his cock to twitch against your pussy. God, he loves the sounds that you make. Music to his ears, he’d play it on repeat if he could.
He slowly drags the tip of his cock down to your entrance which is well prepared for him, and even more slowly starts thrusting inside of you. He wants to feel you deeply, feel every ripple and ridge of your pussy, every pulse and throb. He wants to catalog it and replay it over and over in his head for when he misses you.
Jungkook is definitely gifted when it comes to his manhood. It’s not too long, a good seven and a half inches, but fuck he’s so girthy. When you first fucked him, you could barely handle how thick he was. Nowadays, you can absolutely handle it, but that first push always gets you fucking squirming. The pressure and stretch are nothing like you’ve ever felt before.
You let out a stuttered gasp into his mouth when he buries himself to the hilt, his balls flush against your ass, and he stays there for a moment so that you can adjust. You break the kiss, wincing a bit as you turn your face to try and hide the way it scrunches up as it always does the first few moments he’s inside of you.
He doesn’t like that. Not at all.
He pulls his face back from yours and steadies himself on his elbow as one of his hands comes up to grip your jaw. He turns your face towards him, doesn’t let you look away or try to hide.
“Uh-uh, you look at me when I fuck you. I wanna see every single detail of your pretty face if this is the last time I get you like this.”
You whine at him, your eyes fluttering shut and cheeks warming. For some reason, that’s embarrassing, like being called out for talking in class or some shit. But even then, your pussy clenches around his cock, because you love it when he takes control like that, when he makes it clear what he wants.
He shakes your jaw a bit when he notices you closing your eyes, causing them to open instinctively. He looks just as fucked as you do, his nostrils are flared, and he’s sweating slightly, clearly holding back.
“Eyes on me, Y/N. Don’t you fucking dare look away. Look me in my eyes while I make love to you.”
Fuck. It takes every single bit of strength you possess not to cry. There he goes, voicing the fact that tonight isn’t going to be some hard fuck. It’s making love.
That terrifies you.
Making love is something entirely different compared to fucking. Some people disagree, but you don’t. Fucking is mindless, meant for pleasure and pleasure alone. Sometimes, there's intimacy after, but it’s mostly just sex. Making love, of course, comes with pleasure, but that’s not its purpose. Its purpose is to come together with your partner, show each other how much you love them, let all of your emotions run wild and free while sharing the most intimate parts of your body together.
Fucking is like buying a bouquet of roses. You get to see them, water them, keep them on display, but the joy dies quickly because the roses die, too.
Making love is like growing a garden of roses. You can’t make love until you grow that love with someone; nurture it, watch it morph and evolve. And then the flowers bloom. The love bursts, the petals are vibrant in colors made up of you and your partner.
Both are lovely. Everyone loves buying a bouquet of roses, but few get to experience growing their own.
You’ve never made love. Tonight will be the first time.
And it will probably be the last.
You nod at Jungkook stupidly, keeping your eyes on his just as he asked you to. Once he sees your eyes remaining on him, he starts slowly moving his hips. His cock slides in and out of you, your arousal can clearly be heard by the noises your cream coating his cock every time he slides in and out makes. It’s beautiful.
This is beautiful… and so goddamn tragic.
He’s also fighting tears. Because, unlike you, he has made love before… or thought he did. He swore on his wedding night he made love to his wife, but it was nothing like this. You’ve barely even started, and he can feel the stark difference. God, it makes him question fucking everything. He never felt this way with his wife, with anyone, only ever with you.
But now isn’t the time to think of such things, to dissect the fact that maybe what he had with his wife was never actually love, but comfort. Now is the time to share your love together, one last time.
He starts moving his hips a bit faster. His arms reach under your body and wrap around you, trying to get as close as humanly possible. He rests his forehead on yours, keeps his eyes on yours, too. He starts panting, is fighting back tears. He is trying so hard not to cry right now.
“I love you.”
Fuck.
You let out another stuttered breath, and then your breathing picks up entirely as you fight back tears. Your arms are wrapped around him now, nails digging into his back like you’re afraid he will float away. Because you are, you’re so scared that if you let go, he will disappear. You don’t want him to disappear.
He starts pounding a bit deeper, grunting with each deep thrust as he grits out again,
“I love you.”
Fuck he needs to stop.
“Jungkook— nngh… don’t…”
He shakes his head, his breathing heavier, and his thrusts bordering on aggressive now. That’s not abnormal for him; sex with you both is regularly rough. But this is so different. It isn’t the dominating kind of aggressive but desperate, full of passion and love and grief.
“No, Y/N, look at me. I love you. I fucking love you so much, Y/N. I love you.”
And you break.
Crying for you also isn’t abnormal during sex with him specifically. It’s always intense, so sometimes you cry. Not out of sadness or pain; it just happens sometimes. He came to learn that quickly.
But just like how he’s making love to you, these tears are different. You’re weeping for the loss of your lover, but also because you are still so full of love for him. You’re crying because for the first time since this mess started between you, you believe him when he says he loves you. Deep down in your core, in every single crack and crevice of your being, you feel his love for you.
You see it in his eyes as he looks at you, you feel it in the way he touches and kisses you, you hear it in the way he speaks to you when he says it. He loves you so fucking much, and you regret refusing to see it until your last night together. You wish so badly you could have savored his love more seriously rather than deny yourself of it.
You wish things were different.
So you cry for him. The moment the first tear falls, you don’t hold back. You let out something between a moan and a sob as he fucks his cock into you, and his hips stutter when he realizes you’re crying. He didn’t want you to cry, fuck, he doesn’t think he can handle that right now without crying himself. He just wanted you to know, needed you to know that you are loved by him. So fucking loved.
He keeps his eyes on yours, watches the tears fall. He tilts his head slightly and starts kissing the tears away, even as they continue to fall. Greedily kisses them away because they are for him. This will be the last time you water his fully bloomed flower, so he will be greedy. Because he knows that after this, his flower will wilt away, maybe he will, too. So he lets you cry and he kisses and fucks you through it.
He feels himself getting close, his cock starting to twitch and his hips grinding harder into your pelvis. He feels you getting close, too, the way your cunt starts pulsing in rhythm with his cock. You’ve never come at the same time before. He hopes that tonight, he can make it happen.
“Fuck, you feel like home… I love you so much…”
A strangled sob escapes your throat at his words. It’s like he can’t stop saying it, can’t get the words out of his mouth enough. You’ve yet to say it back because you’re afraid his glittery eyes will water, too. But god, you need him to know.
“I love you too, Koo… more than anything…”
And you were right. Hearing you say it amidst your tears, combined with the way your pussy starts rippling around his cock, throbbing and clenching directly after you say it, it’s too much.
He cries. Tries to hide it with a moan, but it’s no use because his tears fall onto your cheeks. You both start crying harder, and he starts fucking you faster. His arms tighten around your waist, and he starts kissing you. Lets you taste your melded tears, his sorrow, his devotion, his love all poured out into this kiss and his tears.
You both water each others flower for the last time.
You feel the familiar pressure building as you kiss him back, your tears mixing with his, the taste addicting. You hate seeing him cry; you know it’s going to haunt you for weeks. But right now, you’re consumed with wanting to be as close to him as possible, and you want to share this moment with him.
You wrap your legs around his waist, and your hips start matching his thrusts. The kiss turns a bit sloppy and uncoordinated because he’s very clearly about to cum; you can feel his cock start twitching and pulsing aggressively inside of you.
“I love you, Y/N. I love you. I. Love. You.”
He groans loudly, his voice sounds strained and distraught. “Come with me.”
You assume he means he wants you to cum at the same time as him. He wants you to cum together, which is definitely going to happen; you feel the string about to snap on both sides.
But really, it had dual meaning. Cum with me, but also come with me. Anywhere, everywhere, please run away with me, please love me forever and ever, please save a piece of your heart for me, please don’t stay away from me forever.
One last thrust and his pelvis grinds into yours as his balls draw up taught. He whimpers into your mouth, and his pelvis grinding into you, mixed with how fucking deep his cock is inside of you, is enough stimulation to your clit to cause you to hurl over the edge a second time. You cream all over his dick, your hips writhing beneath him as you whine and moan into his mouth. His cock jerks hard inside of you, shooting hot ropes of cum that seem endless. Your souls meld together much like your tears do, and you both cum harder than you ever have.
It’s like, in this moment, you are one. You both share a garden, flowers at full bloom, no pesky cages or fences to hinder you from flourishing together. There’s sunlight, and bees, and soil, and plenty of water. It’s peaceful, it’s heaven, it’s home. It’s where you both swear you belong.
Both of your orgasms seem to last eternally. It’s endless, his cock jerking and spurting in rhythm to the way your pussy milks him and pulses around him. He stays buried to the hilt until his cock tires out and your pussy stops milking him.
Even after, he stays like this. You both say nothing as you silently cry together, still connected intimately as you share little kisses between tears.
You made love. He made love to you.
You know damn well you’re ruined for any other man going forward after that.
He exhales a shaky breath and starts peppering your face with little kisses. Despite the tears, he feels lighter than before. There’s still that impending sense of doom, but he knows in his heart that you know he loves you now. That’s all he wanted from tonight…
And despite the sex being pretty vanilla compared to what you usually do, Jesus fuck, that was the best sex he’s ever had.
As he attempts to kiss all of your tears away, he starts whispering the sweetest shit to you, even as he continues crying.
“My baby…”
Kiss.
“My love…”
Kiss.
“My pretty girl…”
Kiss.
“My angel…”
Kiss.
“My heart…”
Kiss.
“My soul…”
Kiss.
“My fucking everything…”
Kiss, kiss, kiss.
Fuck, it makes you swoon hearing all of those sweet words. Not sweet nothings, but sweet declarations. Pure truth. You are and have been his everything despite how fucked up it all is.
You always will be. Fucking always.
You cry a bit harder, nearly blubbering now. He keeps crying, too, not quite as hard as you because he doesn’t want this to be harder for you than it already is… but he knows the moment he leaves you in the morning, he will cry twice as hard.
You realize you’re still clinging to him; there are definitely going to be red marks all over his back. Your legs are still wrapped around his waist, keeping him buried inside of you because that’s where you swear he belongs. He would agree with you.
But you remove your hands from his back and bring them to cup his face, and you feel so fucking drained from the intense sex and crying and the entire goddamn rollercoaster of today… but you don’t want it to end. Fuck, you’re so afraid for it to end.
You place a soft kiss on his lips, “I love you. I really do. Always have, always will, forever and ever…”
He smiles sadly down at you, nods. Because he knows. He never once doubted how much you loved him; every single time he was with you, he felt your love. Even when you were mad at him, you made him feel loved. He wishes so badly that he could’ve made you feel as secure as you made him feel.
You will never know how utterly thankful for you he is.
“I know baby, I know…”
You let out another choked sob and bury your face in his neck. He lifts himself off of you slightly, and he moves himself so that he’s lying beside you instead of on top of you. You cling to him again, refuse to let him go. Can’t. Won’t. Don’t want to. Can’t fucking bear it.
He gently slips his cock out of you and then wraps his arms around you, one hand coming to cup the back of your head and stroke his fingers through your hair, the other rubbing your back soothingly.
You cry and cry and cry. It’s pitiful how hard you’re crying; if anyone saw you right now, they’d be certain someone had died. It really feels that way, as if he’s dying while holding you right now. He feels like he’s dying watching you crumble like this, but he doesn’t dare stop you.
He doesn’t even reassure you because all that would do is give you false hope for something that may not happen ever again. For all you know, after this, you will never cross paths. He may just become a ghost to you…
A flower that bloomed in the spring and died come winter.
There were so many things you wanted to do tonight. You wanted to shower together, wash his hair for him, show him how to bake those cookies you know he loves, stay up and talk about a bunch of pointless shit, rewatch your favorite movies together, fuck a few more times, choke on his dick one last time, kiss him and touch him all over all night. So so so much more.
You didn’t want to stop here. You wanted to stay awake and savor every last second together just as greedily as him. But god, as you sob in his arms, you feel yourself growing so heavy with exhaustion that you can’t keep your eyes open.
“Don’t let me fall asleep, Koo, make me stay awake…”
He buries his face in your hair, his tears making wet patches in your strands. He inhales deeply just to get another whiff of your shampoo, fuck, he needs to figure out which one it is before he leaves so he can buy it and use it. Doesn’t even care if it’s weird. Wants to smell like you. Wants to be surrounded by reminders of you forever.
Like you, he’s been crying this whole time but so quiet that you don’t even realize it. He made sure you wouldn’t realize it. This is your time to get comfort from him, he can’t offer you reassurance, but he damn sure can comfort you through the pain that is his fault.
“Rest, baby… I’m here…”
You shake your head at him, keep your face buried in his neck even as your eyes start to lull shut.
“No, slap me, keep me awake… don’t wanna… sleep… please…”
He can feel your body start to go limp, can feel your tears running down his neck. He knows you’ll be out cold soon. You were fighting a battle you just couldn’t win, and god he wishes he could keep you awake. But he knows you’re emotionally overloaded right now…
And maybe if you fall asleep in his arms, you’ll rest peacefully for tonight. You deserve that, he thinks. You deserve so much peace and happiness.
“It’s ok Y/N… I got you. Just sleep. My baby needs rest, hm?”
You try so fucking hard to respond. But he’s right; you’re fighting a losing battle. Your body can’t keep up with your brain to the point you’re slurring your words. Maybe it’s the after-effects of a fight or flight response because it really felt like you were fighting for your love when making love tonight… fighting to keep hold of his roots as they slowly became untwined from yours. And now, you’re simply too tired.
“I… I love you… so… much…”
He lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes. Holds you a little tighter. Because, fuck, your last words before lulling into a deep sleep were that you loved him. It’s as it should be, but for some reason, it wrecks him, knowing that this is the last time he will hear them.
When your breathing evens out, he pulls back, stares at you. Your brows are furrowed even in sleep, clearly troubled. But you don’t stir and your grip on him loosens. You are so fucking beautiful. He wishes so badly he could just stay like this, watching you rest, in your arms while you’re in his.
Holding each other, as if you’re both one person instead of two.
He knows he won’t sleep tonight. He’s just as overwhelmed as you, but instead of his body shutting down, his adrenaline has spiked. He’s dreading leaving this bed, dreading leaving you.
He stares for an almost pathetic amount of time. Just lays beside you and takes in every soft detail of your face, traces his fingertips over your features. He finds himself wondering, what if he married you instead? What if you met sooner? What if you lived with him and had his babies one day?
What if… he left his wife?
He has to stop himself there. He makes a pained noise and buries his face in your hair again because he knows he can’t think like that. He could leave his wife; he probably should, but he feels like he owes her his life, his devotion. He married her, for fucks sake.
And even if he did leave, he doubts you’d ever be capable of having a healthy and stable relationship. People in these situations rarely do; it’s a form of karma, he thinks. Husbands who cheat and marry their mistresses often get cheated on, or they end up do it again.
He swears, fucking swears on his life that he would never do that to you. But he knows you probably wouldn’t trust him; any woman in your situation wouldn’t. You’d always be left wondering if he’d turn around and do the same to you one day.
Oh, Jungkook, how badly you’ve fucked up…
He has no idea how much time has passed by the time he checks the little alarm clock on your bedside table. He honestly can’t recall when he got here or what time ‘one more night’ started, but as of now, it’s 5 am.
He wants to stay. Wants to fall asleep holding you, wake up and make you breakfast, draw you a cozy bath and massage your back for you… wants to treat you as a lover would.
But he knows that if he doesn’t leave soon, he won’t leave at all. The moment you open your eyes, he will beg again. He will cry and beg and plead for you to change your mind.
Which is way too selfish, considering he’s still a coward, still unwilling to leave his wife both out of fear and knowing the reality of what happens once he does.
So he places one last kiss on your forehead, breathes you in one last time, and then quietly extracts himself from your hold. Standing up and getting off the bed, he looks down at you.
He swears he can see the exact place you keep his stolen heart inside of you. He doesn’t want it anymore, it’s yours. Always will be.
He slowly starts dressing himself again with robotic-like motions. He isn’t crying anymore; he feels kind of numb at this point, or maybe his tears have just run out.
Acceptance? Or the calm before the storm? He isn’t sure.
He doesn’t bother taking a shower; can’t be bothered right now even if he smells like sex… smells like your sex specifically. He can blame it on being lazy, but he knows it’s because he wants your smell to linger a bit longer. He will shower later.
Once fully dressed he pads his way into the living room, grabs the bag full of stuff he packed for you. He takes it back into your bedroom and sits it at the end of the bed.
He carefully collects each Polaroid he took of you for himself and stuffs them in his wallet for safekeeping. After nearly considering changing his mind and taking the camera greedily, he decides he’ll leave it for you, even though it was a gift you got him. He knows you love it, but also knows you’d never buy one for yourself. And if he’s being honest with himself, he doesn’t think he could ever use it again without thinking of you. It would feel wrong to use it without you.
So he sets that on the end of the bed. He opens the bag, carefully takes out the clothing he packed for you, folds them, and arranges them in a neat pile. Next, he takes out the box of Polaroids; he made sure to put a label on it before coming that said ‘For Y/N.’ He sets the box next to the clothes and then carefully places the chain he packed on top of the pile of clothes.
He wants to arrange it almost as a surprise, hoping it’ll feel more like a gift and not so much like a goodbye this way.
Now that the bag is empty, his intrusive thoughts return. He wants so badly to turn into a little thief and take some of your stuff, too. You would have gladly offered it to him, anything he wanted, but you’re asleep. And he can’t stay much longer.
His intrusive thoughts win, and he can’t find himself feeling too guilty.
So he reaches down and grabs the panties you had on earlier, the same panties that he sucked on like a damn popsicle, and he puts them in the bag.
He quietly makes his way into your bathroom, looks around for a moment until he finds exactly what he’s looking for: the star pimple patches. He takes them, noticing that they’re in a cute little case with a face on it. He knows you love these things; they make pimples feel less like some kind of imperfection. He loves them, too. They remind him of a time when you showered him with love.
You won’t miss them, he thinks again. Not as much as he’ll miss you.
He greedily holds onto them, looks around to see if there’s anything else he can steal. He sees your scarf hanging on the back of your bathroom door; it was the scarf you wore one of the first times he took you to dinner. It’s honestly kind of ugly; it’s a dark and muted plaid, but you loved it because of how soft and warm it is.
It smells very strongly of you.
It’s his now.
He takes the scarf and decides that’s enough. He’s greedy, but he’s not an actual thief. Maybe more like a rat. As much as he wants to steal your shampoo, he decides just to make a mental note of the name because he knows you'll need it to shower when you wake up.
He stuffs the patches and scarf into the same bag and stands before you on the bed. Fuck. He doesn’t want to go. He doesn’t want to leave you.
But now is the perfect time; you’re sleeping soundly, dead to the world. If he leaves like this, there will be no hysterical begging or crying from either party.
Still, he finds himself procrastinating. He decides to open the box of Polaroid photos he packed just to make sure none of the ones he kept for himself snuck their way in. They didn’t. He knows they didn’t. But never hurts to double-check.
He comes across one photo in particular… it was a photo he took one night after you both had some very intense sex. He rented a motel that night because he was in Busan for business, and of course, he dragged you along with him. Busan is his hometown, and his wife has always hated it. She was born and raised in Seoul and always claims Busan is too boring, not lively enough. She always refused to go with him, even if it was to visit his parents.
You, on the other hand, you were so fucking excited to go. You talked his ear off the entire ride there, and once you arrived, you were so interested in everything around you. It was so fucking sweet because you told him the reason you were so excited was because it was a part of him. He was born here, which makes the place sacred. It was dramatic, but god, it was precious.
After you guys fucked that night, you both showered together. You got out of the shower before him, and you snapped a few pictures with the Polaroid; he made sure to put those in the box for you. At some point after, you were lying in the bed watching some cartoon on the motel TV, and he was smoking a cigarette. He noticed a vivid handprint from where he was slapping your ass while fucking you from behind. It was the first time he wasn’t really concerned about it, but proud. Because in some fucked up way, he marked you, even if it was temporary. You were his, and even if you doubted it, he was yours.
It was the same feeling he got tonight when giving you those hickeys. Just a little reassurance that you belong to him.
He took the photo to kind of solidify the feeling, preserve it. It was very aesthetically pleasing. One of his favorites, he’s realizing. He almost wants to take this one.
But instead, he decides to leave it with you, and before he does so he grabs a pin from your desk and writes:
I won’t let you forget us
-Kook
It’s cryptic, he knows. Maybe it’s selfish to leave a message like that… but perhaps it’ll keep you open for him. Not that he expects you to wait for him to get his shit together, god never. But maybe you’ll allow him to check on you now and then, maybe you won’t block his number, maybe, just maybe, you’ll save a piece of your heart for him…
He sets the photo down on top of the pile of folded clothes and steps back. He looks at the clock again, sees that it’s now 5:50 am. He has no idea how time passed that quickly because it only felt like maybe ten minutes had passed. He must have been moving slowly; his brain must have realized how much he was fighting this inevitable end.
As he stares down at your sleeping form, he genuinely considers staying. Considers refusing to leave.
And that’s exactly why he chooses this moment to leave. He has to get the fuck out of here before he does something stupid.
He walks over to you once more, leans down, and places a kiss on your forehead, then your cheek, then your chin, and starts peppering your face with kisses all over again. His heart is pounding fast, and he has the urge to run. With one last kiss to your lips, he yanks himself away and grabs the bag now full of items that don’t belong to him.
He wants to take in your space one last time, wants to linger and look around because this has been his safe space for literal months. But he fucking can’t. He feels his resolve weakening quickly by the second and knows one more second here, and he won’t leave.
He quickly makes his way out of your apartment, is nearly panting as he walks out of your complex and down to his car. His hands are shaking, his heart is beating at a scary pace, and he starts to feel fucking sick.
He borderline throws the bag in his back seat, and then gets into his car quickly. His hands shake so severely that he fumbles with his keys as he starts the engine. The moment the car turns on, he’s peeling out of the parking lot.
It wasn’t acceptance. It was indeed the calm before the storm.
He’s never felt like this before. He feels nauseous and almost panicky as he drives robotically down the morning streets of Seoul. His breathing is coming in so fast he gets dizzy.
It all hits him at once. This is the end. FIN. Over.
He swears he feels his flower die at that very moment. It wasn’t uprooted and moved to another garden; someone fucking stepped on his fully bloomed Bearded Iris. One second he was thriving, flourishing, and now he’s fucking dead.
He doesn’t even recognize the sounds of his own choked sobs as he drives down the street. He can’t breathe. He can’t fucking see. He feels like he’s dying, truly, he almost considers calling for help because he feels so full of despair and grief.
But who would he call? His wife? That's a fucking joke. You? He can't call you anymore. He can't call his friends either because none of them know. He's on his fucking own now.
Nothing could have prepared him for what it feels like to grieve the death of a love who is still alive.
He ends up pulling into a random parking lot once he’s a safe distance from your apartment. He slams his palms on his steering wheel and just fucking bawls. Tears fog his eyes, and he sounds almost childish because of the force in which he’s crying.
He knew the day he lost you would be the day that that he died. And right now, he is dying for you.
It isn’t until 10 am that you stir awake. You instinctively reach for him, but your hands only find cold sheets, meaning he left a while ago…
You didn’t expect him to leave so soon. You expected to be able to wake up to him one last time, so you’re disappointed when you realize his clothes aren’t on the floor anymore, and you don’t hear the sounds of him awake and making coffee in the kitchen.
But you suppose that was a smart move. If he had stayed, it would have just made it harder for you both, most likely.
You feel oddly… numb. As of now, no sadness. The only thing you feel is almost like a little zap in your chest; it’s subtle, to the point you aren’t even sure if it’s really there.
It’s off. Somethings not quite right.
You ignore the weird hollow feeling as you sit up and stretch; you realize you never showered, and you smell heavily of sex. So you get out of bed, and you make your way into your bathroom. You start the shower after using the bathroom, and as you wait to warm it up, you look at yourself in the mirror.
Fuck.
You are literally littered with marks. Your neck, all the way down to your chest, all the way down to your thighs. Purple and pink love bites all over you. He seriously fucked you up.
You feel that zap again.
You shake your head and tear your eyes away from the mirror, don’t notice how your star patches are missing from your skincare tub on your bathroom counter yet. You step inside the shower and spend a good while letting the hot water wash over your body, washing the remnants of sex and sweat off of your skin.
After about half an hour, you step out. Dry off. Get dressed. That’s when you walk back into your bedroom and notice the pile of clothing sitting on your bed. Clothing that isn’t yours.
You slowly approach it and quickly recognize the strong scent lingering on it: his cologne. You unhurriedly pick up each piece of clothing, see the shirt and hoodie you often attempted to steal from him, accompanied by one of his favorite jackets.
He left pieces of himself for you.
Zap.
You set them aside and pick up the chain and photo. Fuck, you love his chains. You always loved them because, one, they’re fucking hot, and two, you loved how they would dangle above you when he was fucking you. You doubt he realized it, but sometimes you’d bite it as he was fucking you, tug on it like a damn dog playing with their favorite chew toy just to see if it would break. It never did, and you never stopped being fascinated with his jewelry.
Zap.
You look at the photo and immediately recall the memory. Busan, now one of your favorite places, all because of him. It was such a good little trip. You tried a lot of street food you never had before, saw a lot of pretty things, and he fucked you beautifully that night. It was rough, passionate, and he left hand prints on your ass, and much like him, you loved it. This was one of your favorites, for sure.
But then you read the note.
I won’t let you forget us.
Zap. Zap. Zap.
You drop the photo and the chain on top of the clothes, let out a shaky breathe. Still, you aren’t really feeling much, maybe a bit of nostalgia accompanying the zaps… but no despair, no yearning or grieving…
Calm before the storm.
You decide you need some coffee and painkillers. You have a lingering migraine from all of the wine and crying last night, so you leave your bedroom and make your way into the kitchen.
You start making your coffee and swallow the painkillers dry. You lean against the counter as your coffee brews, then freeze when you look at the floor.
The purple wild flower lays there, stepped on by he-who-shall-not-be-named’s boot. Wilted and destroyed, the petals disconnected from the stem.
The flower is dead.
And now you break.
Those zaps you were feeling, you suddenly understand. It was your fight or flight kicking in again, and instead of your brain responding to it, it blocked it out.
Can’t fight it now.
You drop to your knees, start breathing heavily because you feel like someone placed bricks on your chest. Your heart aches, literally, it hurts, it feels like it’s going to explode and you feel like you can’t breathe at all.
You start crying again… no- you’re fucking wailing. You’re crying out for the loss of your flower, for the death of a lover who isn’t even dead, much like Jungkook had earlier.
It finally hits you that he isn't coming back. He's gone, and now, you're expected to move on. Your heart aches for him. Without him, do you even have a heart?
No, you really don’t, not right now anyway. The moment he stepped out that door, he took it with him. He fucking stole your heart just like he stole your pimple patches and perfume.
All you can do is cry for him, except right now, you don’t have him to cling to for empty comfort. Instead, you reach for the dead wildflower, hold it in your palm, bring it to your chest, and cradle it close as if you can somehow bring it back to life.
Bring him back to you.
Little do you know, he’s currently curled up in his bed at his second apartment. He hasn’t stopped crying since he left. He went back home, took the stolen perfume, and sprayed it all over his damn bed, and now he’s hugging a pillow as if it’s you. Imagining that it’s you, that this is all just a horrible dream, and he will wake up soon.
Both of you are lovers, stars who collided, planets who aligned, flowers who grew side by side.
But it was at the wrong time. And now you’re paying the consequences of your paths crossing when they shouldn't have.
So far away in the matter of hours when you were once so close, yet you’re both doing the exact same thing; clinging to shreds of each other and wishing so fucking badly that things could be different.
Both of you left each other without returning your hearts. Both of your flowers got stepped on instead of uprooted and re-planted somewhere safer.
Spring has passed, no longer bees buzzing and flowers blooming, but the cold harsh winter is coming.
It will be a while before either of you bloom again, if at all.
#bts#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#18+ only#bts fanfction#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts smut#jungkook#jungkook angst#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x you#jungkook fluff#i love jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfiction
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yeah okay I’ve been paying very close attention to every word q!Bad was saying.
(he explained he doesn’t remember anything from the other night except meeting up with q!Missa. then after ghosties accused him of lying, reiterated how he promised to never lie to ghosties and is telling the truth.)
his tone’s weird, and knowing how cc!Bad does lore this is very on purpose and implies he is lying. and that’s normal- he is a character who lies! we literally saw him do it, so ofc he must be lying.
but like im reading so hard into this and… I can’t figure out why q!Bad would lie about this to ghosties??? what’s the motivation?? not to mention cc!Bad is being vague that he likes “keeping us in the dark with a mystery lore”
what mystery…… we saw him do it. and why would it matter to the ghosties if he threatened q!Missa or not? it’s not a mysterious unknown reason why he would, we watched him bury the bunnies under the house 💀 it’s very obvious and understandable that he would want to keep it secret.
Idk. It’s too obvious and feels like a “boy who cried wolf” angle. I’m starting to lean more into the idea of it being purposefully played like q!Bad is lying but its actually the truth and q!Bad doesn’t remember, or something else deeper. at least with the “him” we watch the POV of. something isn’t right with the “him” on others POV that ghosties aren’t with…... like cmon he had lightning powers 😭
anyways I think more is going on here. I just don’t know what
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Anyways- time to go off about my s/i lore for ever new d.an s.tevens f/os ive aquired in the span of a week 💀💥
Abigail (Frank) - this one i just now planned out thanks to jen BUT me thinks i’m joey’s cousin or friend who comes along to the heist for moral support since i had no beef or business with abigail or his business so i fr was just an outsider with no connection. idk what my made up name would be (ofc maybe ‘Bunny’ or ‘Rabbit’ i don’t know), but obviously me and frank form a kinda weird bond since he’s an asshole but understands i shouldnt of been there to begin with. (I have more but it delves into spoiler territory so ill prob do a seperate post for that!)
Godzilla x Kong (Trapper) - my s/i is alreasy pre established in the monsterverse (been there since godzilla 2014 :3) so i’ve already got that kaiju experience plentyfold! I’m a kaiju researcher mainlu delving into how they function and i love to sketch and observe them.. i work at the monarch base that ilene and trapper work at which is how i meet him >_< !! both of us being big kaiju lovers since he’s kong’s veternarian and i love love to doodle kaijus hehehehe
Night at the Museum (Lancelot) - just like my monsterverse s/i i think i’m also present for the first two movies :) starting off as somebody who just goes to the museum to relax and sketch then becoming a guide myself! A while after the second movie ends i end up getting transferred to the london museum seen in 3 and find myself relaxing the most in the exhibit Lancelot resides.. (yall getting lisa frankenstein vibes from this- 💥) anywayss once larry and the crew arrive and the london museum comes to life SO DOES LANCELOT AND OUR MEETCUTE BEGINS. The visual I have in mind @ me securing the tablet and he has to snatch me up and takes me + the tablet away on his horse… GET ME OUT!!!!!!!
The Guest (David) - ok you can see now i’m in too deep fr anywayss obviously david survives the first movie and i imagine is back on his bs @ pretending to be somebody he isn’t. like i imagine i come home from work to see him on my porch and him explaining he was waiting for me since he heard i knew the petersons and came to break the news that they died since he was a “family friend”. and obviously since i’m not smart i’d have him stay with me since he’d still be limping/have wounds from what happened (he’d claim it’s cuz he tried to fight back who killed them) so i fix him up and have him stay with me.. AND OBSESSION ON HIS END FORMS. ofc im just as obsessed with him but literally he would go after anybody who tried to mess with me and id be like ahahaha ok :))
Anyways…. Thats it im very sorry everypony i know all this is out of nowhere but its been rattling in my brain for a week straight and i had to let it out.. anyways this is me at s.kwisgaar + all my new schmoopies…. My blonde boys from heaven…
#this was . VERY LONG IM SO SORRY 😭💔💔💔#watch nobody see this cuz its late tbh thats okay 💖💖💖#ik this is filled with like characters from random pieces of media but idc cuz IM THRIVIN.#🦇🐰 blood and tears#🗡️#💿#🌿#self ship#self ship community#f/o community#self shipping
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So, Southieparkie, What’s the Deal with you loving GNC Butters but having no real opinion towards GNC Kenny? (AKA the post in which I ramble about masc x fem relationships and how they’re valid)
Let me explain! First off, I wanna make it perfectly clear that I appreciate gender nonconforming butters and gender nonconforming kenny! They are both very valid headcanons in the long run! That being said, I see it more so in one than another. Here’s why:
There’s no doubt at all that BOTH OF THESE CHARACTERS (not just kenny, just butters, BOTH) are feminine/have had feminine moments in their own seperate rights. I would categorize Kenny’s femininity as more performative rather than emotional and lifestyle-related. Case in point: Princess Kenny.
Nevermind the fact that this character is quite literally a performance, her mannerisms and characteristics exude “typical princess” to me, so much so to the point where it’s evident that this is simply a performance and not the way Kenny acts outside of costume. Kenny and Princess Kenny are clearly two very seperate people. He puts on an obvious falsetto when in character and does things only a classic ten year old boy posing as a girl would do. (flashing his “boobs” is the biggest example of this I can think of) (think about drag queens, some of them do drag as a hobby/job, and when out of drag they’re just guys. y’know? idk, that’s the best way i can describe it)
Butters’ femininity in my eyes is moreso habitual and natural. The way he slipped so effortlessly into character and then eventually just gave up the facade and had a genuinely great time as Marjorine is the biggest example for this. Notice how his falsetto fades as the episode progresses? Obviously, he was uncomfortable at first being forced into it, falsetto creaky and unsure. After making it to Heidi’s sleepover and having the girls give him a makeover, the mission he’s on is almost completely forgotten about! Right now, he’s having fun with his girlfriends, no falsetto needed!! This is less so a character and more so him gradually getting comfortable in feminine clothing, having fun, and letting his hair down! (pun absolutely intended)
Flashing forward to high school, I believe Leo would adopt this physical femininity into his everyday life while Kenny would pull the skirts and makeup out on Friday nights both to entertain and to raise a middle finger to the societal expectations put on him. I don’t necessarily see Kenny doing it as much as Leo does, but I’m not discrediting the fact that they’re both very feminine!!!
I guess the biggest reason why I made this post (besides to defend myself lol) is to address the elephant in the room: heteronormativity
While I don’t see my depiction of Bunny as a masc x fem relationship (I more so see them as a feminine boy falling in love with a boy who just so happens to be masculine most of the time), I do understand that the wondering eye may see them as masc4fem, which is fine!! Mostly, they are masc x fem!! But sometimes they’re also fem x fem, or andro x fem!!! And to discredit anyone of their femininity in this ship (yes, Butters counts just as well as Kenny does) and to go as far as to say that either of these characters are not feminine at all is just…incorrect? Some people say this solely just to shut down the popular feminine leo headcanon/slander those who believe that Kenny is also feminine, and either way it’s totally unfair!!!
To reiterate what I’ve already made clear, I don’t see Kenny as someone who would incorporate femininity into his everyday lifestyle, but I do for Butters. However!!! I can do that and acknowledge that they’re both feminine to some extent and not completely a masc x fem relationship.
And, for the love of God I cannot stress this enough, masc x fem relationships! are! valid! Heteronormativity is the mindset that straight relationships and heterosexuality are the norm and that every relationship should have a man and a woman. And when two guys or two girls get together, regardless of masculinity or femininity…well, that’s not a straight relationship, now is it? That’s not an example of heteronormativity, now is it?!?!?!
As someone who is persuing a masc x fem relationship (my ‘friend’ who I am working things out with is masculine and I’m very feminine) I can safely say that I’m still Gay As Fuck™ and I can also confirm that I am NOT conforming to a heteronormative agenda.
Soooo hey! If you wanna draw Butters in a wedding dress and Kenny in a suit (PLEASE DO! SEND IT TO ME WHEN YOU FINISH) feel free to do so!! Or, If you want to draw the inverse, that’s fine too! Even drawing them both in dresses/both in suits is valid!!!! How you view any mlm/wlw ship is entirely up to you! This is just, y’know, how I feel about it. :)
#south park#sp#my lord this is messy#uhhh if you guys wanna see feminine butters i drew him today#should be on d00dlecj#but yea :)#me talking
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A few random thoughts/comments after finally reading the Sam and Max comics (Surfin’ the Highway + “The Big Sleep”) :
- I absolutely love how, whenever they’re in town or in an open place, there’s stuff happening in the background. Random details like that don’t really have any purpose in the story but they make the world feel so much more alive !
- I’m really fond of the way Purcell draws Sam for some reason. Idk, his face is just pleasant to look at.
- Max is getting the Pikachu treatment, looking chubby/chonky in the first interpretation of the character only to look thinner later on.
- It’s very interesting to see how the first “official” Sam and Max comic, “Monkeys Violating the Heavenly Temple”, introduces so many moments that became recurring things (“Sam, I mean Max”, Max being the one who needs saving, Max not being into girls, “you crack me up little buddy”, the fight for the phone, Sam’s long-ass “holy-“ lines, Sam being overprotective, Sam finding Max cute etc)
- It’s also interesting to see “Bad Day on the Moon” in comic form and the few differences with the cartoon version.
- I love how everytime they walk to their office door, they check on Flint Paper. Also Max mentioning how Flint probably wasn’t hugged enough 🥺
- I need an entire series of Sam and Max going on a road trip ! Not only can we have small adventures with new environments and characters, there’s also their cute interactions in the car !
- It’s funny to see places and characters you know are going to come back later on in the franchise, like the carnival from “Hit the Road”.
- I kinda like the random intermission in the long comics, though it feels like a random commercial that’s somehow relevant to the comic. Also that page about the board game to play in a car trip with the advice of “if you don’t have dice, just look at the last number of the plaque from the next car that’s coming” is absolutely genius.
- There’s SO MUCH TOUCHING between the two, especially on Sam’s end ! Like, dude can’t keep his hands away from his bunny ! Ok I may be exaggerating here but still ! So much touching ! And between that and other small moments, it makes me low-key question if they were already boyfriends back then 🤔
(I swear “Purcell wanted to create goofy stories with a fun duo but ended up accidentally creating an amazing and healthy gay relationships with pretty good rep overall and ultimately decided to just accept it and roll with it” is my second favorite thing about this franchise)
- Speaking of which, there’s that one moment in the second road-trip comic in which Sam uses Max as a weapon and then immediately asks Max if what he did was alright or if it bothered Max. And I absolutely adore that.
I think it’s due to the fact that, usually, Sam and Max are on the same wavelength and know each other’s boundaries and likes/dislikes. So it’s interesting to “come back to a time” where they still had to understand those boundaries. I also love how asking this is literally the first thing Sam does, showing that there’s really good communication between the two, which could also explain why in later entries they understand each other so well.
(and sure, I know moments like this one happened in other entries of the franchise, like for example Sam in 301 telling Max he's uncomfortable at the idea of Max teleporting alone, but for some reason this panel really stuck with me)
- The office each time having different framed pictures of the duo like in the cartoon 💖
- As someone who loves when anthropomorphic characters behave more like animals, I am so happy that the comics mention Sam smelling stuff a lot and especially Max having good hearing at least once ! Because this is something I really liked to think about, so it’s nice actually getting to see it being mentioned in canon !
Also there’s that one page (I think in “Bad Day on the Moon” ?) where Sam straight-up bites someone and then gets weirded out by his own action. That was fucking amazing.
- Apparently one of Sam’s favorite things during missions is cornering the villain and telling them to freeze with his gun pointed at them. For some reason I really like that fact.
- The comic about the cereal aisle monster has some pretty good action and a cool monster design. Also apparently Max already had weird powers back then with him being able to communicate with the dead.
Also also Max at the end helping a kid while casually talking to Sam was really cute. Fun fact : Max having baby fever and loving kids is my favorite thing about him, especially due to how much it clashes with his usual “wilder” personality (And for those wondering, my favorite thing about Sam is him being protective and going apeshit when Max is in danger).
Also also also it’s pretty funny to see Sam disliking physical contact from the shopkeeper given how touchy he is with Max in those comics.
- There’s a one-page comic about a lady talking about aliens with Sam not buying any of it, and one of the panels is Sam with a glass of water in hand saying “Lady, I’m this close to pouring my drink on you” while looking completely done with this shit. Hands down my favorite comic panel of all the Sam and Max comics.
(Btw, my second-favorite panel is from the first comic, after Max was kidnapped, when Sam is spitting on a portrait of the villain while pointing out how he’s going to destroy him if he took a single hair off of his precious bunny)
- It’s pretty funny how the comics suddenly start having colors at some point out of the blue, like someone randomly gifted Purcell a box of colored pencils. Though, I don’t know what I like most between the black-and-white or the colored comics. On one hand, the colors add to the background. On the other hand, the black-and-white gave a style that’s pretty fitting with the titular characters being detectives/police.
Ultimately, I think I like the black-and-white more, not just because of the style but also because like half of the stories in color are AU stuff (“The Adventurer” comics) while the black-and-white ones are more “grounded” stories.
Yeah, most of the time, I’m not the biggest fan of AUs. I know, pretty surprising for someone whose first fandom was Unde//rtale of all things.
And yes I learned later on that the first comics actually came out in a colored version. That being said I do like the black-and-white version more since, again, it gives them a “detectives” vibe.
- Sam really has a thing for twin popsicles, doesn’t he ?
- Some comics, especially the ones in color, have a few small “mean-spirited” moments between the duo, especially on Sam’s end, and it feels weird to see them like that. Like when one says “shut up” to the other, when Max does something cruel and Sam points it out by actually calling him cruel instead of cute, or when Sam jokingly threatening to hurt Max for being annoying, including the “killing Max and being sent to heaven” comic.
Now I know those jokes also exist in the rest of the franchise, like for example the “I wanna write a reminder to smother you with a pillow in your sleep” from the first Telltale game or the “shut up it’s starting !” from the cartoon, or even some moments in “Hit The Road” like when you rescue Max at the golf game. But for some reason, the ones in the comic stand out more to me.
I think it might be due to the duo dynamic they have and how much more openly affectionate they are in the games and cartoon, making those “I’m going to hurt you” jokes feel insignificant. 🤔
- There’s a comic about Atlantis that opens up with Sam mentioning how he “never dated within my gender” and I don’t know what surprises me the most between Sam unironically saying this, as if open to the idea, or the fact that they used the word “gender” in a comic form the 90s. In any cases, I like it.
(Also I guess this means Sam and Max weren’t together back then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Unless you picture the comics as taking place out of order, which I might do considering that one Christmas comic with the duo living in a house and having a family dinner. Plus this could explain the “mean-spirited” stuff only being in some comics. Also the cereal aisle comic has a guy from the cartoon + Max having powers, so I could see it taking place around the time of the cartoon, after the Telltale games)
- Sam with abs from that one biker comic is cursed. Chubby Sam with “uncool 40 years-old dad” energy is best Sam.
- And from that same comic, Max gets a tattoo on his right arm. Headcanon that he still has it but it’s hidden under his fur, hence why it’s never visible.
- I love how “The Adventurer Comics”, “The Big Sleep” and the first page of the unfinished comic are just casually available to read on the official Sam and Max website.
- “The Big Sleep” was apparently written around the time of “Save The World”, and I feel like you can kinda see it from the way Max looks in this comic. They removed the chonk in favor of a rounder stomach that resembles his 3D model.
Also I really like how this comic has Sam in danger and Max trying to save him, with Max’s last line of the comic showing some protectiveness. Given how rare it can be at times, I like when they switch around which one needs saving.
Also also this comic has Max calling some guy gay and later on almost saying “piece of shit”. I love it.
Also also also, there’s a cameo of granny Ruth as part of Sam’s memories !!! (along with a picture of Max because of course 💖)
Last thing, since earlier I mentioned the “mean-spirited” moments : this one shows my point by having Sam mentioning bashing Max in the head to help him calm down, with Max reacting by saying “aww, you spoil me !” This is the kind of instance where a joke is actually not mean-spirited because there’s something immediately afterwards showing that Max is enjoying the thought, while in the older comics, it’s just Sam mentioning hurting Max without Max commenting on it, which gives off this “mean-spirited” side.
- There are at least two comics that I’m missing, or at least two that I’m assuming are official. Given how the franchise started with Purcell drawing after his brother’s stories, I’m pretty sure there’s a lot out there that was never published (for those asking, yes I stumbled across some of the earliest versions of those characters from back when Purcell was messing with his brother’s work).
But yeah, from what I know, one of the missing two has a page with Sam and Max pushing n*zis off a cliff, and the second one has a joke about Sam asking Max to remove what he’s wearing and Max refusing, with I think some kind of stereotypical tribe behind them ?
- Thinking about it, I’ve seen people talk about how trigger-happy Sam and Max are in the comics compared to the rest of the franchise, with them being toned down due to age rating. But tbh, I didn’t find them that trigger-happy in the comics, at least not more than the games. They felt pretty on-par with how they act in “Hit The Road” specifically. Might be just me tho 🤔
- Overall, I’d say my favorite comic is “The Big Sleep” due to the whole “Max saving Sam” situation. But more than that, I especially adore how evident it is that Max absolutely loves Sam without outright saying it. It’s shown very well with how worried Max gets, the fact that he greatly compliments the doctor at some point or even the way he decides by himself to investigate the phone because he feels uneasy about the bug and wants to find out what happened to Sam.
This comic aside, the road trip trilogy is a close second and I especially enjoy the moments with the duo in the car, like Sam telling Max a creepy story or them sleeping while still having the car on, etc. I’d probably put the very first official comic as third, mostly for how many recurring things this comic sets up + the usual “Sam saving Max” being nice to see. And the unfinished “Max getting shot” comic would be fourth, because angst is my jam.
#Sam and Max#SamandMax#Freelance husbands#sorta#Flor talks#long post#for some reason I kept hesitating to post my Sam and Max stuff#I think it's because the fandom is decades old and had a resurgence last year#so it feels weird to jump in and start analysing stuff that was likely already talked about#idk I just feel awkward#but at the same time I like rambling about stuff so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#(no but seriously it's been so long since I first wrote this#that I'm starting to wonder if the two comics I'm missing are actually from Sam and Max#or if it's from another franchise and I'm picturing it as Sam and Max for some reason)
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i’m going to explain why i miss each of the anons.
why i miss chickie🐥 — i miss her enthusiasm and her brightness, his sunshine personality always put a smile on my face whenever he came into my inbox and i miss that sm :( i hope you’re doing well for yourself darling <3
why i miss bunnie🐰 — i miss his care :| every time he came into my inbox he was always so thoughtful & making sure i was okay, wishing for me to have a good day (whatever time of day it was), give me alternative questions just incase i couldn’t answer something.
why i miss fox🦊 — they were so FUNNY. and even though i didn’t speak to them as often as i did the others, his questions for me were so well thought, i genuinely enjoyed answering his q’s and having to think about what i was answering :(( (i also enjoyed how they tried to reassure me that u guys actually liked me with the screenshots hehe) i hope you’re doing okay too sweetheart! :(( <3
why i miss squirrel🐿️ — I MISS BROS ENTHUSIASM. his asks genuinely got me giggling??? i miss his shouting in my inbox and the way he’d talk to me about literally anything :( NO BC RUEUJEDISN the way i miss him, is the way i miss a best friend & i really dk how to describe that hm…. idk every time i reread his asks.. i actually wanna tear up DGEUEBIDSN
why i miss puppy🐶 — i could get into a LOT on why i miss him (& that would be embarrassing.) but i miss him for all the reasons stated above and more, and idk if i wanna EXPLAIN bc i might start bawling so… i just miss him tenfold🤞🏽…
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terrified of #attention so I’m only sharing anonymously here and not my Twitter but anywayssss…I won’t say the area but my friend and I went for a walk late at night (in full sweats looking a MESS) emphasize on mess, and we come across this fancy as fuck building with a bench seating area outside so we sat for a bit just watching all the rich people exit and enter this place (and idk if you ever do this with ur friends but you like narrate peoples lives??) well we were doing that and all the sudden I recognize Tom walk out and I just smacked my friends arm and we went silent. So he just like stood against the building texting on his phone and I was holding my breath for dear life thinking he’s not in there there’s no way he’s in there….not even a minute later the man himself walks out with Tommy and they all kind of just circle outside of this building and at this point we were like 3 feet away and I think they were like planning where to go idk I couldn’t hear much I was in shock but in my head I was like this is the moment it’s happening
I’m gonna send what happens next because sometimes lenghty messages don’t go through
Anonymous asked: so basically in my head I was like ok if he walks away in the next 20 seconds I won’t say anything to him but then he just…wasn’t walking away and they were literally just standing outside for minutes so I said fuck it!!! we got up to leave and I used that as my opportunity so (thank god) I was wearing a bunny tee because that was my ice breaker😭😭 so we started walking towards them and he noticed my shirt right away and I looked down and said “this is awkward” (obviously as a joke but I wanted to play it cool and not come off as a crazed ilysm fan) and he FUCKING LAUGHED!!! and Tom and Tommy started laughing too and I think Harry said “totally” or something I truly blacked out😭 but then it just kinda led into a normal conversation which some of it I kinda want to keep to myself sorry<3 but I can’t even begin to explain how fucking kind and normal and easy going he is….he just was like the most unfamous man ever and I wasn’t even nervous or anything???
IM GONNA BASH MY HEAD INTO A WALLLLLLL IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU OH MY GODDDDDDDDD 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
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WAIT SORRY FOR BUGGING SM 😭😭 but i reread ur post abt who u write for and im a p1ece 🫡🫡🫡 sooo,, same question as the bnd one,, i would love some hcs for piwon too 🤲🏾🤲🏾🤲🏾
- lunicho
💌 — Bunny please you’re literally not bugging me at all, I love seeing you in my notifs, GOTCHU ALWAYS!!
Warnings — Smut focused, MDNI.
⋆ Y. Keeho
There’s this one clip of him from a live that I can’t stop thinking about, basically someone in the chat said something that bugged him a little and he wasn’t scared to be like “Yeah… no.” But he was also so gentle about it afterwards? Like he made his disagreement with them graspable but it wasn’t petty, idk, making me think of Possesive!Keeho and him dragging you back to the dorms, the two of you having left before the event was fully over because he couldn’t stand seeing so many people try to pursue more than just an innocent friendship with his girlfriend, right in front of him. His agitation warping his perception of the situation and being so quick to think that you’re entertaining them.. when really you’re trying to sway the conversation away from the uncomfortable lack of decorum, so he’s dragging you home, his jaw so tight that you swear you can see a vein pushing through the skin of his forehead. Being unable to wait until he’s got you in his bed, taking you right by the front door, struggling to keep yourself up with only the handle and flat wall behind you. His annoyance makes the things he has to say come easily, probably says some shit like “Wish it was him fucking you like this? Funny you think someone could ever fill you up the way I can? Look at you, can barely even speak.”… Lol… afterwards he’s so gentle and sweet with you during aftercare, but he’ll take the time to pull you into his chest, gently rubbing at any sore muscles in your body whilst explaining in detail why he reacted the way he did, what you should do the next time something like that happens, what he should do better. I’m okay :,)
⋆ C. Taeyang
Sub!Theo, just- ….Sub!Theo. Although when he’s feeling a little more assertive he’s so relentless when teasing you, wants you whining, begging for him to please you. Has the prettiest smile on his face as the head of his cock presses into you, but he has enough self control to not slam his length all the way inside of you, merely drags himself through your folds, enjoying the sticky mess you make, so warm and alluring. Think he’d be the type to get lost in the pleasure though, would completely forget about being inside of you as his pace speeds up, now slipping the whole of his cock against your pussy, his pretty fingers placed on top of him so there’s some pressure stimulating the both of you. Becomes a little embarrassed that only the act of fucking himself against you has him cumming, his chest straining as soft, jumbled moans spill from his lips in tandem with the sticky white fluid beading from his slit and getting all over your inner thighs. That’s when you’ve decided he’s had his fun having his way with you, I think he’d become so fucked out so quickly with you, gets ahead of himself a lot of the time and tries to be strict with you, bullying you with his cock into submission but then he’s so quickly overcome by the pleasure that his handle on the facade starts slipping and then he’s the one whimpering, begging for you to fuck him, take care of him, make him a mess.
⋆ C. Jiung
Jiung definitely has the ability to switch between sub and dom, another person I’d say 50/50 with. But c’mon, Dom!Jiung? I’m weeeaaak. I think about that clip from the radio show with Keeho when they’re talking about how they’d handle their ‘gf’ dancing with another man at a party quite often, he’s so not the type to be confrontational about something he’s not okay with, but instead he’d be more reserved, he’s got a good levelled head on his shoulders, but he’d definitely want to be shown that you only care about him. “Show me how much you love me.. please? Jus’ wanna fuck your mouth.” I’M NOT OKAY. Being on your knees for him backstage, cock heavy in your tongue as he slouches against the wall with his hand fisting at the hem of his shirt, enough of the material bunched up between his fingers so that you can see the butterfly tattoo that lives near his hipbone. He’d definitely make the prettiest sounds ever, isn’t afraid to be moaning in your ear like a slut even when he’s the one in charge, always, aaalways has to let you know how good you’re making him feel.
⋆ H. Intak
A being called ‘Daddy’ enjoyer, but I think we know this? That and his name, isn’t afraid to ask of you to “Say my name, god- please baby say m’name, the way I like it.” He’s sick. I’M SICK, GRAVELY ILL. I think he’d have a thing for restraining you, tying you up all pretty just so he can fuck you until he’s shooting blanks. That and sleepy sex, definitely likes starting most of his mornings off with pulling you into him and slipping your panties and whatever else you have on to the side just so he can bury himself in you, slow, self indulgent thrusts, doesn’t pull all the way out because he can’t bare to not be so close to you. Requests of you to wear specific bottoms that have a thin, stretchy material just so he can get his cock inside of you faster, easier. His hands. Has a thing for rubbing your tummy, and it would be such a warm, comforting feeling, his touch slowly pulling you back under your sleepy lidded eyes as he grinds into you from behind. I also think that he wouldn’t be shy about pda with you, likes having his hands on you, his arms, his eyes, his lips. Just wants to show you off, that you’re his, that he’s allowed to touch you in so many ways that nobody else ever could.
ᰔ sminiac’s P1Harmony M.list
#lunicho <3#p1harmony hyung line#p1harmony smut#p1harmony keeho#p1harmony theo#p1harmony jiung#p1harmony intak#p1h smut#p1h x reader#p1h keeho#p1h theo#p1h jiung#p1h intak#p1harmony
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Chaos Magnet
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warnings: None :)
Genre: FLUFF, HUMOR, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: When Y/N get invited onto a stream with the gang by Jack (Sean) she’s not sure what to expect but it’s safe to say that such chaos is not something she could’ve ever imagined.
Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it really had me laughing and still had me be awe-struck by the adorableness of the idea. Sorry it’s been such a long time since you put in the request but I still hope you come across the fic and read it! Love, Vy ❤
“Alright people, silence in the call for a moment!“ Jack calls out when the lobby’s counter has finally reached up to nine, leaving room for one more person who is yet to join, but apparently he doesn’t care much that he’ll probably have to repeat himself when the tenth person enters the call and lobby.
“Jack, you should know by now, the day there’s silence in this call is when some supernatural force murders all ten of our mics. It just won’t happen, deal with it.“ Charlie, who was having an ‘intense’ discussion with Toast up until Jack’s interruption, says sarcastically, chuckling ever so slightly, enough for it to be contagious and make me crack a smile as well.
“There won’t be silence, I’ll be talking. If only the rest of you would LET ME.“ Jack replies just as sarcastically, getting Charlie to let out an actual fit of laughter. When his chuckling subsides along with the rest of the chatter in the call, Jack finally gets to have the speech he mentioned, “Right, ok so here’s the deal folks: today we have a guest addition to the stream, curtesy of mine because I’m obsessed with her channel. As you might or might not have noticed, there’s one person missing from the lobby but she’s gonna be joining us any minute now. As I said, I’m a huge fan so you better not embarrass me or I swear I’m gonna kill you first when I get to be an impostor.”
I don’t know what the others are thinking - probably something similar as what I’m thinking though: Noted, embarrass Jack to the best of your ability. Trust me, getting him flustered in front of his YouTube idol is well worth the death in Among Us he’s threatening us with.
“Also keep in mind that she’s of a different kind, not of our breed if you will - she’s an ASMR YouTuber. Not those who eat in the mic just because they think it’d be pleasant for people to hear.“ Jack goes on to explain, the way he’s described this girl’s craft is quite intriguing, especially when you consider how confidently Jack expressed his distaste with ASMR in the past. He’s always claimed not to be a fan but here we are, I guess people really do change.
“Thank you for making it seem like I do more than just cut up soaps, Jack. I really appreciate it but don’t bump the bar up that high, people will be disappointed when they actually visit my channel.“ An unfamiliar voice appears in the call out of nowhere. Though, unfamiliar is not the adjective I should focus on when describing this girl’s voice. I’ll list a few more but even they won’t do it justice: pleasant, awing, mesmerizing, unbelievable, out-of-this-world...I really could keep going.
“Oh come on, Y/N, you don’t just cut up soap. You turn them into bath bombs too!“ Jack laughs, earning him a playful scoff from the newcomer. “Oh yeah, almost forgot - Everyone, this is Y/N, our ASMR artist.“
“Please, some ‘artist’ I am. The people in my comment section would disagree with that description.“ She giggles after kindly responding to each and every greeting the gang sends her way, myself included. “The word I’ve seen people use most when describing my channel is ‘cringey’ so....yeah.“ She laughs, a genuine laugh instead of the bitter one I was expecting to follow such words.
“That seems to be the cool kids’ favorite word, don’t dwell too much on it.“ Rae tells her reassuringly, “What’s important is what word would you use to describe your channel?“
Y/N hums, sounding as though she’s fallen in thought but that’s only one brief moment before she answers. Or begins to, at least, “Well, if I were to describe my channel with one word it’d be....BEEFY!”
That one out-of-context word, screamed out by such an angelic voice has me breaking down with overwhelming laughter collapsing all my ability to hold back.
“Out of all the words, you’d choose beefy?“ I somehow manage to ask between fits of laughter that render me breathless.
“She’s a vegetarian, I think, I don’t know why she’d choose that word.“ Jack too is laughing his butt off but has a significantly better grip on it, “Y/N, care to explain your peculiar choice?“
There’s a lot of shuffling and random noise on Y/N’s end before her reply finally comes, accompanied by a weak meow, “Sorry guys, that was a classic cat of Mr. Beef Stronganoff seeking attention by being chaotic.” She says through laughter, her words followed by another meow which was a lot more clear, seemingly closer to the mic, “He took down my mic, and he seems like he wants to do it again....BEEFY NO!”
For some reason, even with that explanation in mind, I can’t keep myself from laughing. Come to think of it, I think the explanation only makes it funnier.
“Ugh, darn it! I saved my mic but he ran across my keyboard and turned my webcam off how do I turn it back on?“ Her voice dies down for a few secs before it reemerges from her end, “Ok nevermind I got it. Now I can answer...what was the question again?“
Recovering from his laughing fit, Jack manages to repeat the question, “What word would you use to describe your channel?”
“Oh that! Right, ok. Um, I’d call it aesthetically pleasing and BEEFY NOT THE ROUTER CABLE YOU DUMMIE!“
She’s insane. Or her cat’s insane. I can’t tell. Maybe both. Either way, I can’t help but feel like I’ve found a soulmate in this literal stranger. It’s safe to say us chaos magnets like her and I, we don’t only attract chaos, but also chaotic individuals. I’m so glad she magnetized me to herself. Or was it the other way around? We may never know - mystery is in the nature of us chaos magnets, you know.
@maat-the-prescriptive @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @itsminniekat @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01 @buddyemily @the-albino-lioness @stardream14 @gdhdkfnn @nomadicgypsyy @preciousskye @fluffysuicideunicornsworld @o-kaelin @manacharlotte @awkward-youtube-trash @lolalee24 @bonky-beerns @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @strawbrinkofdeath @teenloves @tams0527 @browneyespinkhair @starstruckllamapuppy @daisychains012 @y0ulooked @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life @jula-pauline @melodykitty @just-that-bi-girl @crazybutconfidentaf @lowellshade @alphakees @bellero @weallneednamjesus @starryhanji @boiled-onionrings @husherstan @fockingwhore @melaningoddessthings @prettypastelpetals @haleypearce @godwhyamiawkward @y-napotat @daisychainyoonmin @little-miss-rebel3 @free-wheelin-bi-sexual @redmoon261 @darkacademic2 @wiseflamingoqueen @into-the-end @namikhai-i @nastiablr @thelittleplantlover @mirktuan @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny @vintagegothlover @easygoingtheatre @itsrandombooklover @miiaivi @emmybaybee @befourgolden @jjk-is-my-shit @eternalteaaars @spacebadgerx @princesslunalight @acequinn14 @samm48 @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa @fo-love @marishimomura-blog @therealglenncoco @cinnamonbun332 @killtherandomness @sanshinexxxsan @fee-btheweeb @press-lay @cathleenpotgieter16 @jazzydoesstuff @moonlxghtbay @forestrain2000 @hyunjinhugs @blood-of-fandoms @lovellylies @ukiyolixx @simpforhpcharacters @chrisdylan17 @parkerjisung @pedernille @theodonyous @wineandionysus @malfoystilinskii05 @morbid-x @coryisagee @jessewa26 @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365 @raeanneinwonderland @indecisive-empanada @gluttonypalace @loriane2503 @btsiguess-kpop @khaoticbunny @lucidlycactus @smiithys @rottenroyalebooks @kpopgirlbtssvt @fangirl-tc27 @fr0z3n-1 @notmesimpingfortechno @shotarosleftpinky @kunoi-chan @idk-whats-wrong-with-me @yikeroonie @goldenstarofthunderclan @poetry-and-tea @ama-do-writing-stuff @wishbonewolf @emeraldxhope @t0xick1tty @kusuinko @speakyourselfloveyourself @sophia902103 @lo-manburg @classsykittykat @dmgama @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee @btsiguess-kpop @akaashi-baby @gun-jong-simp @geschichtenfee @yerapotato-wp @browneyedgirl365 @thysagclub @sparklycloudnight @helloatomicshadow @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal @lucy-bunny17 @aaliyahh0 @katluckybear @boyleanti @straybids @franchesca-791 @cosmicstorm19 @averyisbackinthetrashcan @aomi-nabi @xlanawriter @allensimpsforcorpse @sunnyrae-cessh @ladykxxx08 @meowiemari @renupf @booklover76 @sra-verissimo
#corpse husband#corpse#corpse fic#corpse fluff#corpse fandom#corpse fanfic#corpse fanfiction#corpse x you#corpse x y/n#corpse x reader#corpse imagines#corpse imagine#corpse husband x y/n#corpse husband fanficiton#corpse husband x reader#corpse husband fanfic#corpse husband fanfiction#corpse husband fic#corpse husband fluff#corpse husband is ruining my life#corpse husband imagine#fic#fanfic#fanfiction#fandom#fluff#x reader#requests open#request
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∞ for dessert — woosan.
summary: in which mommy and daddy come home to find their baby boy doing something naughty.
pairing: daddy!san x mommy!poc!reader x babyboy!wooyoung
genre: smutty smut
warning: daddy kink, mommy kink, hard dom!san, soft switch!reader, sub!wooyoung, food play, rimming, fingering, spanking, degrading, oral receiving [f. & m.], anal, sex toy, spit kink, choking, boyxboy, edging, face slapping, hair pulling, breast feeding kink, crying, aftercare.
word count: 1.8k
author’s note: heyy! i hope you enjoy this little segment! please support and give me some feedback cuz idk if i did this right for my first time 🥺 but i love you regardless 🤍
“honey! we’re home!”
you and san just got back from your first dinner without your babyboy, wooyoung. he had announced that he didn’t feel too well and decided not to go out; ushering you two to have fun without him.
so, you indeed that. san introduced you to a new korean restaurant where you could see the pretty, bright lights upon the city. you ate some tasty pork, siding it with white rice, and drank soju while chatting up with your first lover.
though, it felt weird without the baby of the trio.
before leaving the traditional establishment; you and san determined to be good partners, ordered wooyoung some vanilla ice-cream for dessert. “baby! we brought you something!” you yelled trying to get your second boyfriend’s attention.
“wooyoung?” san questioned.
you turned to san trying to figure out the situation, but he seemed confused as you. “let’s go check up on him. he still might not be feeling okay.”
when he agreed, you two proceeded to go up to your wooden stairs and near the main bedroom. though the closer you two got, the more vibrations became detected. the sounds of wooyoung’s pathetic and beautiful moans spread throughout the hallway.
“ugh, the nerve of this boy..” you croaked listening to the calls of both you and san’s names.
san looked you from the corner of his eye and replied, “you know we gotta punish him right?”
you sighed understanding he was right. the last time wooyoung pulled a stunt like this, you let him off like the soft dom you were. but this time, san was here to witness his doing; and you definitely didn’t want to defy him.
“let me go grab the ice-cream..”
opening the bedroom door, you spot wooyoung on the king-sized bed rubbing his cock and thrusting a small, pink buzzing toy in his hole. “o–oh fuck! mommy! oh, daddy! faster!”
you bit your bottom lip and felt your lace underwear become damp noticing that the sex toy was from your drawer. then, your eyes drew down to view wooyoung’s tight rectum clenching with every push. “yes! that feels so good! i–i think i’m gonna come!”
“oh honey, that wouldn’t be the smartest thing to do.”
wooyoung immediately stops hearing your stern tone. he jumps up from his initial position and hides the vibrator behind his back. “h–hi, mommy.” he mummers.
you sighed exploring different emotions due to his actions; “now babyboy. what were you just doing, and don’t lie to mommy.”
“i–i don’t know what you're talking about mommy.”
a sadistic smile creeps upon your face knowing san was literally gonna fuck his shit up. “babyboy, you don’t know what you just started,” you say as san walks into the door with the cold, creamy dessert.
wooyoung’s bunny-like orbs bounce to san’s shivering frame and waters with tears. “no! no! i’m sorry mommy! i won’t do it again! i promise!”
you walk toward your naked boyfriend and grasp his smooth chin shaking it. “no can do baby, i gave you a chance to explain yourself and now you have to suffer the consequences.” wooyoung’s lip quivers at your statement and looks at san again with fear.
straightening up your posture, you turn to the dominant male and vocalize, “do you wanna start or shall i?”
“i think you should. he’s not getting babied this time.”
sitting down on the bed; you pull wooyoung toward you, signaling for him to come across your lap. “how many should i give you babyboy? fifteen? maybe ten? i think ten is a good number–”
you sensed his cock twitch in excitement on your leg cutting your sentence off. “–and you better count or we’re starting over.”
slap
“one.”
slap
“two.”
slap
“t-three.”
san’s presence appeared behind you as wooyoung cutely whimpered the numbers. “look at that pretty ass turning red.”
slap
“what did i say babyboy, keep counting.”
“i–i’m sorry! four.”
slap
slap
slap
“eight, nine..”
your hand tingles with anticipation at the last spank. “come on, one more.”
“ah! ten!”
you flipped him over caressing his flushed bottom and kissing his wet cheeks. “aww, you did so good baby! but it isn’t over yet.” wooyoung’s blurry eyes look up to notice san licking his lips sadistically.
he roughly grabs his chin, bringing him towards his face. “listen to me, you little brat. y/n may be all nice and sweet to you, but this is the last time you act out. especially when we were so worried about your health; and you lied.”
“i-i’m sorry daddy!”
“yeah, you’ll be sorry alright.” he releases wooyoung and unbuttons his black, formal pants. “come suck on my cock.”
wooyoung quickly grips his monster cock, licking him from the base to his pre-cum covered tip. san’s nostrils flared up at wooyoung’s bratty actions, pulled the strands from his head, and slapped his face. “do. not. play. with me. either you suck my cock or you don’t get to come tonight.”
and with that, san begins to get sucked on. wooyoung deep-throats the cock; saliva dripping. “look at you taking down that big cock. you look so pretty babyboy.” you moan looking at your boyfriends play in front of you.
wanting in on that play, you rub on wooyoung’s ass as an idea pops into your head. “arch your back and spread your legs for me, honey,” you say picking up the melted ice-cream.
and he does just that still engulfing on san. you drop a pint of spit along with some of the dessert on your baby’s puckered star, rubbing your thighs for pleasure. then you lower yourself, licking inside of wooyoung’s ass.
“oh my god! mommy!” he suddenly shouts in pleasure. you began to french kiss his anus tasting the sweetness; trying to find that special spot inside of him. “keep sucking daddy’s cock baby.”
san groans deeply at your seductive voice and wooyoung’s moaning around his cock. “that’s it babyboy. should i let you come tonight? maybe we’ll make you apologize with come in your mouth first. then maybe your dumb self would get it after that.”
wooyoung rubs himself on the bed with every insult san makes and every thrust your tongue moves. “oh, i think he likes that daddy. don’t you baby?”
“mmm!”
switching it up, you stop rimming him, making sure to lick up all the cream, and stick three fingers up his ass making him whine. “shhh, baby. i’m just prepping you for daddy’s cock, okay? how about this; if you come up with a good apology for daddy and me, i’ll let you fuck me while he fucks you. how about it?”
he moans in agreement as san fills his mouth up with come. “good fucking boy making me come. come on, give us that apology.”
taking his cum-filled entrance off, he gibbers with, “i’m sorry! i swear i’ll never do it again! i swear this time, mommy, daddy! i’ll do whatever you want, please fuck me!”
you looked up at your other boyfriend once again trying to view his expression. if you were in charge at this moment, you would have accepted his apology; however, it was san that was in control and he was always unpredictable.
“what do you think san? was it a good enough apology?” you asked.
“mhmm... i think it was. turn over so i can stick my cock deep inside you while you eat mommy’s pussy out. then you can fuck her; i like that plan more, don’t you?”
“yes daddy, thank you so much!”
wooyoung turns over so you can sit on his face while san can fuck him. “let me taste your pussy, mommy.” listening to his command, you sit on his warm organ feeling him suck on your clit. “ohhh, baby..”
meanwhile, the dominant male pounds wooyoung’s ass hitting his prostate and making him gasp into your channel. “ah! yes, baby! suck my fucking clit! such a good boy for mommy..” with all your moaning, you didn’t even notice your eyes closing.
but when you opened them, they spot the small, pink sex toy at the corner of the bed. you grabbed it, turned it on, and placed it on the nerve tingling with pleasure. “yessss! stick your tongue me, baby! you’re about to make come! ah!”
creaming, your thighs shake from the sudden desire. you get off of wooyoung’s face, licking and kissing his wet face covered with your essence. “oh, you did mommy so good babyboy. are you ready for me to ride you?”
he whines in agreement as san pulls out of him; setting him up over by the headboard while being under him. “okay baby, i’m gonna ride your cock now.”
both you and san begin to push on him, giving him double the pleasure. “oh my god! i love you guys! i love you so fucking much!” he cries tears dripping down his sweaty face. you drop on him while the other boyfriend thrusts into him hitting his prostate again.
“please! please!”
the feeling of your clenched pussy around him and san’s large cock pushing into him began to make him go crazy. “i–i think i about to come! i’m about to come!”
you bring your small hand up to choke wooyoung’s slender tanned neck, demanding, “uh-uh, you don’t get to come before mommy and daddy honey. ah! come on baby, make us come.”
“oh, mommy! daddy! please come!”
grabbing more of the leftover melting ice-cream, you pour it along your chocolate breasts. “be quiet and suck mommy’s nipples, babyboy. it’ll keep your bratty ass close.” san huffed out still pounding wooyoung’s prostate.
so, that’s what he did. like a baby, the submissive male licked and sucked the sweet cream that was on your nipples. “ooo! you like mama’s milk, don’t you baby.” he moaned nevertheless fuzzing with overall pleasure.
“fuck, i’m about to come in your ass.”
hearing that, made you climb over the edge and come around wooyoung’s twitching cock. “oh! fuck! you’re making me come, baby!”
“shit me too, come with us babyboy. you have five seconds. one–”
not even a second later, wooyoung explodes inside of your cunt, painting your insides white. “ugh! thank you so much! i’ll never do it again!”
after coming down from all the sensory overload, you and san take the time to clean up and do some aftercare with wooyoung. “you did so good baby. i’m so proud of you. but why didn’t you tell us you were sexually frustrated?” you sweetly asked.
“i didn’t want to be a bother. i learned my lesson, i’m sorry.”
san kisses his cheek; replying with, “we don’t ever want you to feel like that. you’re also apart of this relationship, wooyoung. next time, just talk to us.”
“m’kay. i love you” he coos.
you giggled, also kissing his sweaty cheek. “we love you more, babyboy.”
“question, where’d that ice-cream come from?”
“oh! that was for the dessert.”
#sub!idol#sub!ateez#sub!wooyoung#dom!ateez#dom!san#poly!ateez#poly!reader#ateez#kpop#ateez x reader#ateez x you#ateez x y/n#ateez smut#ateez x atiny#∞golden-bbi
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Once again, literally nobody asked for my opinion but I'm giving it anyway. I have huge brain and I am a genius.
Ateez top kinks
Hongjoong: marking.
To me this goes without saying. First off he's possessive (the whole dont look at other oppas shit) (also saying it makes him upset when seonghwa spends so much time with woosan). Also as I have said before, he's in it for the visuals, the lewder the better. And nothing screams " I just had sex" more that being covered in hickeys bite marks, and scratches. I rest my case.
Seonghwa: breeding.
Lolz. Ummmm. Idk man he just gives the vibes. If I were to explain it I feel like he likes the idea of you carrying a part of him with you wherever you go. Literally, his child is inside of you and that thought really riels him up, like his brain just goes "do it. Do it now." Also he has the natural instinct to nurture, he wants a reason to dote on you and his potential baby he just gave you.. I feel like he would see it less as a "risk" and more of a "promise". Sorry not sorry.
Yunho: exhibitionism.
I could go with the obvious but i won't. He wants a challenge (remember how competitive he is). To him sex is competition and you both really want to win. See who could tease better, who could give better oral, who could be the loudest or quietest, who could find the most compromising position to get off in. To him risk is the name of the game and he wants to win.
Yeosang: praise.
Perhaps an unusual choice to some but I feel like he is so critical to others that when he finds someone he genuinely adores he will never want them to forget it. How good they are, and cute they look, how pretty they sound. Even when he is subbing he won't stop reminding you how well you treat him.
San: experimentalist.
I know this is kinda a cop out answer but it is honestly the best thing for him. He wants to try absolutely everything, and I mean everything. He doesn't care if he doms or subs, he is open to it. While he would likely favor his partners kinks the majority of the time (he's caring like that) when you give him free reign he goes wild. I feel like it isn't even that absolutely everything turns him on, its more like "I can make everything sexy" type shit, like I'm talking outta pocket type shit. He will find a way to make every night the best sex of your life.
Mingi: dry humping.
I'm sorry but in my brain mingi is so sub and I love him for it ( but alas their will always be people who disagree) he wants to feel completely at his partner mercy and low key high key wants to be used. Dry humping is perfect because his partner can get off while whispering things like "dont you dare cum baby, not till I'm satisfied" and can feel the humiliation when he eventually cums in his pants (when did this get this graphic the fuck)
Wooyoung: speaking of humiliation. Also I know that I have been only giving 1 per person but fuck hes an exhibitionist too.
Where yunho likes it because of the risk wooyoung wants people to see. He loves the attention and would literally have someone watching the two of you fuck every day if he could, in his mind somebody should bare witness to the glory that is him absolutely unraveling his partner with his words (humiliation is always better with someone else present to hear it) while simultaneously wrecking their body.
Jongho: langire/costumes
I dont want to say role play cuz I think he would find that cringy, but fucking his partner while they still have their pretty white lace on? Or perhaps a lil bunny costume? Once again, not really in it for the role but DEFINITELY the way your body looks in it. Perhaps I should have put body worship cuz thats really what this is about.
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Haruka theory and thoughts under the read more! just me going through the MV and voicing aloud some thoughts, let me know what you guys think too!
（*´▽｀*）also this is super long i
opening scene! the necklace is obviously important to him. also it’s very cute. nothing to say abt this in particular but i just think it’s really cute
love the background choice and how the room looks in general. gives me a big liminal space vibe. i promise i’m getting to actual theorizing in a second here just
love how the scenery from the window changes when it switches back and forth between him and his younger self (?). i’ve tried searching what the symbolism is of a red sky (if there is any) and i did see that it could mean “the end” or it could be symbolic of danger and what’s to come.
ugh i love the water thing going on. first off, i’m a huge sucker for water imagery and the like and so you KNOW i go gaga for this. it has to be because haruka feels like he’s constantly drowning, like he’s suffocating on his emotions.
i’ve watched this MV at least fifty times and this still gets me upset. pretty obvious that what’s going on here is some form of emotional abuse as well as a co-dependence on Haruka’s part. Haruka clearly has a learning disability and it’s nothing he can control but the people in his life are blaming him for it and so he blames himself, too.
evidence of emotional abuse, being told things like how he’s pitiful or not smart, etc and of course Haruka is going to believe that hence why he’s always calling himself dumb and feeling like when he’s around others he’ll only make them sad because that’s exactly how it was for him at home.
also like how the background is all gray and gloomy and there’s his childish scribbling of a monster (?) hovering over. could be symbolic of a threat to what’s his normal life, like it could end so suddenly
the world around Haruka is changing. his parents are changing (i’m assuming they’re divorced but i don’t think that’s ever made explicitly clear), he’s growing up, but he also feels exactly the same maturity wise. he may be increasing in age but he still is exactly the same and the change is unnerving to Haruka and it’s become noticeable to his parents that he’s not “growing up” and doing “normal” things. his learning disability is holding him back from becoming what’s so normal for society, what’s accepted in society.
so he’s viewed as “weak”, it’s his ‘weakness’. and society eats the weak.
i feel like Haruka’s parents (perhaps namely his mom)(or maybe it was both his mom and his dad but Haruka’s thinking more about his mom because he was closer to her) were becoming fed up with Haruka’s inability to learn what is supposed to be ~oh so natural~ and ~normal~ so they quickly began to get frustrated. also, that drawing behind Haruka appears later i think....
Haruka realizes and recognizes what’s going on and this, in turn, makes him have feelings of self-loathing. why can’t he do what anyone else can? why is everything around him so different but he’s the same? why is he getting taller, having more expectation placed upon him when it’s just too hard for him? Haruka is grappling with these thoughts constantly and it’s making him feel like he’s drowning and no one cares to pull him up out of the water.
i’m gonna be honest, i have no clue what to make of the girl with him at the fireworks but i DO know that the fireworks are really important to him because i recall him answering that it was his cherished memory and he goes on to say the most expensive thing he’s bought was cotton candy and i’ll venture to say that it was at this fireworks festival.
i got nothing to add to this but i just love that line and it is important for you all to know this
are those yellow roses or marigolds? i’m thinking maybe they’re yellow roses which can mean either “jealousy” or “thinking of you”
i could be going off a wrong assumption here, but hey this is all just guess-work anyway... did he accidentally push the girl? and it somehow led to her death or at the very least a severe injury? i’m willing to bet it was more of an injury than death, but even so.
and if he DID push her, now it’s coming to light? like he did that, it was his fault (even if it was an accident, he would no doubt blame himself), and he’s a bad person who is only good for causing harm to others.
as someone who also sleeps with like five stuffed bunny animals, solidarity between me and Haruka. i want that rabbit it looks so cute
YAA there it is again! i don’t know what the heck it means but there it is!
the dog gives me pause because i’m not entirely sure what to make of it but i DO think this is where it’s important to remind people that the MV’s are based upon the prisoner’s own perception (i think. if i’m wrong, please correct me) and so we’re getting a lot of this from a biased standpoint.
again, emotional abuse that might seem “”””Harmless””””” to others but it’s anything EXCEPT.
did the dog run away? was he given the dog and Haruka now blames himself for letting the dog run off and perhaps the dog got hit by a car? (;﹏;) i feel like something that’s important is just how much self-hatred Haruka has and his tendency to blame himself for outside factors. i don’t think he LITERALLY killed the dog, but he feels as though he did so it’s become figurative.
also as far as his dislikes being “children” and “animals”, i think he’s jealous of them, maybe? like that could tie into the yellow roses and their symbolism signifying jealousy and envy. he’s jealous of the inherent “innocence” associated with them. he’s getting older, so that “innocence” that’s accepted with THEM is no longer being used with HIM. Haruka has what’s deemed as “childish” interests and i get the feeling he’s made to feel badly about it. no doubt his disability is tied in with this.
there’s those flowers again. and Haruka tries to drown his wants/needs in order to try and “repent” for being the way he is. it’s HIS fault, so he has to think everything is fine even though he’s NOT fine and he’s going to break at some point under the pressure of society/his parents/everything.
Haruka makes an effort to try to understand things in the beginning, but everytime he questions something that’s really ~obvious~ to everyone else he’s met with disappointed gazes and harsh critiques. so he stops trying to understand what he’s apparently ~lacking~ and he stops asking questions because that’s it! he’s dumb! he doesn’t get it so why bother!
i feel like by this point any praise to Haruka is better than nothing. rather than indifference or being ignored, he’d even rather be called “crazy”. i think Haruka just wants ANY attention be it good or bad - what he hates the most is feeling invisible or as if he could disappear and it wouldn’t matter to anyone.
i still feel like the blood on his hands is more figurative than literal and for reasons i’ve already explained so there’s no need to rehash it like i’m trying to meet an essay word count requirement
me too Haruka （；へ：）
his feelings of sadness and being unwanted turn to anger onto HIMSELF and it is what snaps the very thin thread he’s been living on
choking himself ties into the water motif we’ve got going on here. the drowning, the suffocation - no longer being able to breathe because everything is broken and it’s unfixable. and he’s the reason why.
i feel like his crime is somehow suicide/attempted suicide but if it IS suicide then i really don’t know how he could be with the other prisoners? unless they’re all dead and this is some form of purgatory or something but otherwise? i don’t know. i just feel like it could be suicide
now i will also say this. the puddle of blue surrounding “him” has to be blood and that kind of makes me wonder if i’ve been barking up the wrong tree here but. idk any ideas anyone else has on this would be appreciated and also please talk to me about MILGRAM because i’ve got a badddd obsession
what Haruka wants more than anything is attention and love. he wants love and yet it’s difficult for him to accept love because he doesn’t seem to have any “experience” with love. in the questions asked to him, he doesn’t even seem to really know what “love” actually is. he considers “liking” and “loving” to be the same thing, there’s no difference to him. if he’s getting attention it might not even matter to him because at this point something is better than nothing.
so yes! this is messy. and it’s perhaps even incoherent. if you read this thanks for coming to my TED talk i love Haruka so much. it’s probably become obvious that i’m a little biased bc i relate to him a lot. let me know your own theories too or thoughts on this, i’d like to know hehe （*´▽｀*）
#MILGRAM#haruka sakurai#milgram theories#i mention suicide in this as a heads up!#i cant believe i just spent like an hour writing this. hm. i am in deep#i relate to He.... and i love him#i wrote all of this at 3 AM bc i am off my rocker
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omg, I was the anon who sent the ball stretcher ask for soobin and I am CRYING, you explained it so well :')))) and the idea of soobin big and heavy balls made me w e a k (idk how I never thought about that) but it def would look hot with a ball stretcher. What other toys do you think would fit really well with subby!soob?
i'm so glad you liked it!!💞 it spun so wildly out of control, haha, i didn't mean to write literally a thousand words but something possessed me. 😭 and there are sooooo many toys that i think would be fun to use with Soobin, honestly the better question is what wouldn't i use on this boy. 😈
butt plugs!!
this boy wants, needs, and deserves to be pegged
I feel like Soobin’s the type who jerks off to the thought of having his ass played with a lot, but has always been too nervous to actually try anything on his own
make him wear butt plugs to get him used to playing with his ass, and also so that when he’s just going through the day, he has something to remind him of you even when you’re not around 🥰
(i also feel like he’d look sooooooo cute with one of those fluffy lil bunny tail butt plugs 👀)
nipple clamps and suckers/pumps
there’s not much to this one—any toy that makes him extra sensitive is gonna be fun cause i just wanna overstimulate him til he cries, and also i just think he would look so cute with puffy engorged little nipples from pumping 🥺
blindfolds and ring gags
this boy loves to be at your mercy and used by you
he loves watching you play with him and fuck him, but there’s something really exciting for him about not being able to see what’s coming
everything is just so much more intense for him with a blindfold, imagine seeing him perk up at the smallest sighs out of your mouth, imagine him whining and arching up into the lightest brush of your fingers against his skin
any kind of gag would be fun, but I feel a ring gag on Soobin would be especially *chef kiss* 🧑🏽🍳🤌🏽💋
he can’t speak, which makes teasing him with embarrassing questions even more fun, but at the same time it stops him from muffling those pretty little whines and moans you love so much 🥰
it keeps him nice and accessible for you, too—keeps his mouth stretched open for you to fuck with your fingers or your strap-on, lets his tongue stay free in case you want to sit on his face and fuck yourself on his tongue
also, if you just wanna be mean to that pretty little mouth, he can’t stop you—play with and pinch those pouty lips, grab his tongue and massage it to make him drool all over himself—gags are inherently humiliating and messy, but with a ring gag you just have so many options 🤤
chastity cages, cuffs, leashes
is he getting hard all the time when you’re in public together?
not anymore >:]
making him wear a cock cage starts out as a way to humiliate him a little—if he can’t keep his cock under control, you’ll just have to do it for him
but alongside the very enjoyable embarrassment that comes with having to have someone else restrain him, there’s also an intense relief for him—if he can’t do anything, there’s no point in worrying about doing the right thing or about his body doing the wrong thing without his permission
this same feeling is what eventually leads to you cuffing him down in bed—he doesn’t need to be restrained, he’d never dream of doing anything without your permission, but knowing that he can’t do anything, that he’s completely helpless to your whims is just so good for the both of you 🤤
like, i feel like restraints are the best way to turn his brain off and put him into sub space—imagine Soobin all floaty and dazed and sweet for you, body fully relaxed and ready to take whatever you want to give him
circling back to my pet play agenda for just a moment: imagine putting a leash on him and yanking him where you want him, calling him your lil bunny cause god knows he can fuck like one 👀
lots of pain/sensation toys—pinwheels, vampire gloves, maybe even paddles and crops
i feel like Soobin would be just a bit of a painslut—the contrast just heightens his pleasure
he’d look so good marked up—trails of red running along his pale skin, eyes glazed and mouth slack, fucked out just from the thought that anyone could tell he belongs to you just from looking at him 🥰
i would also like you to consider: bending this very big boy over your lap and paddling his ass until it’s bright red and hot under your palm, until his cock is leaking all over your thighs and he’s making tearful, pathetic promises to be a good boy for you 👀
honestly, tho, i truly think Soobin would let you try just about anything you wanted on him, and would get genuinely excited at you making him just. take whatever you felt like using on him. he’d get off on the fear and confusion of not knowing what’s next or maybe even seeing what’s coming next but not understanding it.
i’m not super into medical kink, but imagine playing doctor with him as an excuse to just subject him to every single toy you want to try out. imagine setting him down on a little exam table with that crinkly exam room paper that lets you hear every one of his nervous little fidgets. rolling in a stainless steel tray laid out with a truly terrifying number of toys: pinwheels, plugs, and dildos all in gleaming sterile steel; clinical looking little nipple suckers; an intimidatingly high-tech looking electro wand kit; some tiny little hammers and pen lights and tongue depressors just to round out the set. how sweet and shy he’d be as your naive, anxious little patient. 🥺 ugh fuck i think im gonna hafta write medical roleplay with Soobin now 😭😤🧑🏽⚕️
tagging: @jensdior
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Will’s fear of clowns
*Ps -not mine. this is a submission from an anon. tw: for s.a. It’s an interesting submission. ANON-please make a tumblr account already . I’m begging you XD
Hi! It’s me, Lonnie Meth Anon. Back with more depressing thoughts about Lonnie!
I just read your post on Jonathan’s ab*se at the hands of Lonnie, and I second it all. It breaks my heart. But it also got me thinking deeper about Will’s fear of clowns. I think you’re right that part of the horror for Will is that the clown attacks in bed. The bed is, obviously, like you say, a common site for s*xual assault. (Doesn’t El’s picture of “three legged Brenner” also have a bed in it? In a picture with not much else?) The fact that Will needed Joyce to sleep with him for a week suggests he was specifically feeling unsafe in bed, or at night.
But maybe it’s not just the location of the attack in Poltergeist that Will found so harrowing. Maybe it’s the combination of that location with the fact of a clown being the attacker.
I think Lonnie might have dressed up as a clown for Will’s birthday one year, and something happened.
In this instance, I don’t think Joyce would know what happened. I think the incident in her mind would be something like “Lonnie dressed up and Will was scared of the costume”. She might even have thought it was cute. Just a typical little kid fear of something mundane. When she teases him about Poltergeist, she doesn’t actually say the movie was the START of his fear of clowns. Just that he was afraid of that particular clown. The general fear of clowns could have been an older one, going back to when Will was even younger.
Maybe Will even liked clowns, before whatever happened with Lonnie turned them into a source of fear for him. Will has a lion plushie (lions are commonly found in the circus) and the circus seems like the kind of vibrant, colorful environment full of outcast, that a young gay kid would really enjoy. If Will did like circuses and Lonnie poisoned that for him, that’s just another reason to hate Lonnie. But it definitely seems possible.
Lonnie is a deadbeat dad in general, but we’ve seen before that he’s capable of faking the “family man” act in front of Joyce and their neighbors. We’ve also seen that even though he treats Will horribly, he would also try and keep Will on his side with father son bonding activities, like baseball. And Will’s birthday is one of the few occasions Lonnie makes a half-assed kind of effort, even when there’s nothing directly in it for him. He sends that card, even though it’s late. Maybe Joyce made called him up and made him send it, but she always seemed happy to keep Lonnie out of the picture. She didn’t even want to involve him when Will went missing. And we know Jonathan would never try and facilitate more interactions between Lonnie and Will. So it seems like Lonnie did this of his own accord, when he realized he’d missed the day. Kind of weird. And it’s classic abuser behavior, to make contact on an anniversary date, reminding you they exist and you can’t escape them. Reminding you to keep quiet. Or hoping you’ll miss them, remember the “good times” when they made an effort, and let them back into your life. (Ugh.)
So, anyway, back to my theory. Young Will likes circuses, and the Byers family are poor, so they can’t afford to take him to one, or throw him a party at an ice cream parlor or a bowling alley, like other kids. It makes sense that they would have a party at home instead, and that the family themselves might dress up. We know Joyce made Will’s Ghostbusters costume in season two, and a clown is a pretty easy costume. Most of it is just make up. It’s possible the whole thing was Joyce’s idea, and she made the costume, and Lonnie just went along with it to look like a good dad in her eyes.
Remember how we see Bob (Will’s new father figure) dressing up in costume for Halloween? Joyce loves it. This is a thing good dads do, to have fun with their kids. That’s also the same episode we see Will scared by a guy in a clown costume, and Jonathan is hyper-protective of him that night. School is okay, but he doesn’t want him trick or treating. (Like he knows that school is a safe environment, but in other contexts, costumes and parties might be a trigger for Will.) Jonathan is convinced to leave Will and “let him have fun” and what happens? The clown attacks. Later that night Jonathan goes to a costume party himself, where he finds Nancy upset and takes her safely home. Maybe this is how Will’s birthday party ended - with Jonathan finding Will upset, and trying to comfort him. The whole night could be playing out like a parallel to that birthday party, from Jonathan’s perspective.
What actually happened with Will and Lonnie is up for debate. It’s possible there was a s*xual assault, and that’s why the clown scene in Poltergeist was such a trigger for Will. Or maybe Lonnie thought circuses weren’t “manly” enough for his son to like, and actively tried to scare Will, so he wouldn’t like them anymore. It’s hard to know. Something would have happened though, and probably something pretty formative, because the fear of clowns lasts a long time.
Something else interesting is that when Mr Clarke is talking about the Upside Down in season one, he uses the metaphor of the flea and the acrobat. Acrobats are a main act in the circus, and, well … fleas. Flea circuses. That’s a thing. Maybe it’s a hint that the trauma that created the Upside Down was circus / clown - related?
Kali, El, and their gang wear clown masks too, when they’re going to confront their childhood trauma, and the child-like Alexei is surrounded by clowns when he is killed at the fair.
Clowns are just so associated with birthday parties and little kids, that it doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me they’re Will’s biggest fear. Especially as the show keeps dropping hints about Lonnie and Will’s birthday. It feels like there’s more to the story. I have a horrible feeling SOMETHING happened.
RESPONE (kaypeace):
I think it’s very possible-that maybe he did dress as a clown for Will’s birthday and something happened. We have alexi (paralleled to Will) playing carnival games with kids. Then he's attacked by the Lonnie-look alike : and alexi looks at his wound then stares at all the clowns laughing around him. Joyce and Murray find Alexi bleeding/dy*ng next to a clown statue. As joyce looks in horror and Murray says to her, he was “only gone for a second” (which sounds like something you’d say in relation to a kid you were supposed to watch-running off ). We also had sarah at age 7 die while wearing a gown with clowns on it (Will: it was a 7 the demogorgan it got me). Death of innocence symbolism? Hopper also describes his depression as a cave- he goes through the carnival ride where it mentions a "cave of horrors", which had decor of a tiger and a clown painting. So yeah... whatever happened probably isn't good. So- there may be some symbolism there in relation to Will’s past. Not only because (like I and you have mentioned before) Lonnie is highly associated with birthdays. And canonically we know he mentally scarred jonathan on his b-day. But also, s4’s ‘victor creel’ may be an easteregg to the xmen character victor creed- who had a tradition of tra*matizing family members specifically on their bdays
As another alternative:I could also totally see Lonnie “ruining” circuses for Will because it’s not “manly” to him. Like how Jonathan liked thumper the rabbit-from the film bambi. in the film, Thumper is bambi’s bff, and the hunters are the bad guys who k*ll Bambi’s mother and terrorize all the wildlife. SO yeah- making Jonathan become a hunter, and k*ll a rabbit ,despite this fact, is really messed up. And shows Lonnie has already tried to ‘ruin’ things the boys like. By mentally scarring them in one way or another…
I also mentioned how Will’s bday could even be a trigger for jonathan in a diff post.
if the s4 bts calender hinting it’ll be near Will’s bday and easter it could be relevant to Jonathan.we know in s1 el has tra*matic flashbacks when seeing certain things- coke, closet, cat, etc. And Will in s2 has his ‘anniversary effect’ where memories flood back based on the time of year.But like … Easter has bunnies - could seeing rabbits jog stuff up for Jonathan? El seeing a cat made her have a flashback of brenner trying to make her kill a cat. Would Jonathan seeing like Easter bunny decor jog up a flashback of lonnie making him kill a rabbit? (It happened on his bday too). So Will’s b day being around easter would only fuel that memory. (heck even popped balloons may trigger gunshot symbolism idk). And then for Will there is clowns that could be a tr*gger at a party.
The flea and the acrobat analogy (in relation to Will and circuses is very interesting) and could be foreshadowing- it’s even a title for an episode so I feel like it’s narratively an important hint to …something. similar to a s1 ep being called “the bathtub”. Also, Will was compared to a circus flea- which were placed in an enclosed space, where heat was applied as they jumped and tried to escape the increasing temperatures as they burned .Which could relate to my theory about Will having a se*zure due his body overheating due to Lonnie injecting him with m*th.
If Will’s bday is in s4- I feel like Lonnie will come back in some capacity (flashback or literally). The ‘sorry, I forgot you b day’ card from Lonnie in s2, in Lonnie’s shed Joyce mentioning Will’s b day, the rainbow ‘happy birthday cup’ placed next to Will at Mike’s -while Will explains the supernatural, Lonnie already tra*matizing Jonathan on his bday, etc…
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hi ! hello ! so i just reached 1k followers recently, and just the thought of it makes my head spin. one thousand followers. that is absolutely, positively, insane. i’m so so so thankful for everyone who reads my stories and puts up with me and my random rambles. my heart is so so so full.
thank you.
and now, onto the fic recs! prepare yourselves, i read too much.
Fred Weasley
fluff/angst ❀
royally screwed (series) - @lumos-barnes
enemies to lovers? infuriating conversations? PRINCE!FRED? sign me up baby
in the summer sun - @parseltongueswriting
slight hurt/comfort. slice of life fic 🥺💕 based off of an ask that i sent & i love it sm
secrets i have held in my heart - @parseltongeswriting
i have no words for this fic. none. i just love it so much.
mirrorball - @gcdric
the absolute softness of this. unparalleled.
happiness, i’m sorry you’ve been on hold - @iliveiloveiwrite
probably the first fred fic i ever fell in love with. postwar!fred & muggle!reader.
blessed be the mystery of love - @mitsukui
the writing here is absolutely positively GORGEOUS. fred writing love letters to reader. so lovely. so soft.
falling - @vogueweasley
delicious angst that breaks your heart and then fluff that puts it back together again.
lights up - @vogueweasley
unbelievably well written. postwar!fred who is cheeky and confident and everything i want in a man. amen.
meet the weasleys - @weelittleweasley
american!reader. feels like being wrapped up in a cozy blanket. i love this family sm.
i’m low on gas and you need a jacket - @whizboingies
i cannot put into words how much this makes me scream. i want it. i want it so bad.
but, part of me’s unending, hear it say ‘i love you’ - @whizboingies
ultimate comfort fic & soft freddie 🥺
smut ☽
all that jazz - @slytherinsunrise
no words. deliciously hot. filthy. absolutely loved it.
hate to think about you with somebody else - @spacexcowgirl
jealous!fred 🥵 so hot. and then it gets so soft at the end. goodbye.
nine lives - @darthwheezely
did not know i needed this fic until i read it. mmmmmmmffffffmmmmm.
all tied up and nowhere to go - @wand3ringr0s3
porn with no plot. bondage & sex toys. amen.
anything she wants - @lumosandnoxwriting
ceo!fred. no other words. head empty after reading this.
put a ring on it - @lumosandnoxwriting
porn with a plot?? yes. yes absolutely. deliciously soft AND smutty.
George Weasley
fluff/angst ❀
potions and constellations - @iliveiloveiwrite
postwar!george trying to figure out his place in the world, unexpectedly finds love 🥺 it makes my heart soar
the perfect arrangement (series) - @lumos-barnes
bridgerton!au. arranged marriage. mutual pining. miscommunication. need i say more??
a bit too loud - @lupinsclassroom
soft and sweet. slight hurt/comfort. georgie here is just the best 😭
bunny rabbits & a clover patch - @parseltongeswriting
best friends to lovers!! so gorgeously written i could cry.
cross the line - @cruciostyles
best friends to lovers. tooth rotting fluff. need i say more?
forever is a long time without you (series) - @cruciostyles
parent trap au. i love this sm u have no idea. it’s just the right amount of nostalgia and mystery. chefs kiss.
let me take care of you - @george-fabian-weasley
comfort!! fic!! with george!! all i need in the world.
worth fighting for - @spacexcowgirl
delicious break up/make up & there was only one bed. and a beach trip?? yes please.
driver’s license - @wand3ringr0s3
title says it all. makes my heart ache painfully.
call me when you’re sober - @lumosandnoxwriting
delicious angst. i can’t even explain. happy ending that’s just the right amount of softness. love this.
smut ☽
birthday suit - @mitsukui
absolutely filthy. absolutely. this lives in my head rent free 24/7.
pixels - @slytherinsunrise
phone sex with george? sign me UP. i would like this in my life thanks.
video game lover - @lumosandnoxwriting
gamer!geroge. need i say more?
Charlie Weasley
a weasley christmas - @constantlydiscombobulated
first charlie fic i ever read. literally began my simp journey. this fic makes me unbelievably happy.
Ron Weasley
finding a light (series) - @gryffindors-weasley
so so so so beautifully written. makes my heart flutter and my chest hurt. postwar!ron falling in love.
Harry Potter
fingers and toes - @iliveiloveiwrite
the first harry fic i ever read. dad!harry. unbelievably sweet. had tears in my eyes reading this ngl.
Sweater Weather & Coast to Coast
o’knutzy babysitting - @prohibitionincurls
do i need to explain more? this was so delightfully fluffy
value isn’t always numeric - @prohibitionincurls
my head thinks this is canonically c2c bc of how well written it is. i love it. it makes my chest hurt and my heart ache
winging it (series) - @prohibitionincurls
i love this. adding an oc to the universe is positively wonderful.
Jily
hope (is all i have) - @startanewdream
jily lives!au. james struggles with being a parent and worrying for harry’s safety. gut-wrenching, delicious angst.
you can hear it in the silence - @alrightginger
jily. deaf!lily. soulmates au. so so so tender and sweet. type of fic that you could read multiple times and not get sick of.
door dash - @mppmaraudergirl
american!au. both of them arrive at a house at the same time, holding door dash orders.
Miscellaneous
little red - @harpyloon
sirius black & ginny weasley friendship. hinny. absolutely positively cheeky, well written, and lovely.
my tears ricochet - @gcdric
estranged/death eater weasley!sister fic. gut wrenching angst. i read it when i want to cry & not be comforted.
weasley!sister (series) - @gcdric
idk what else to say about this but that it’s so stinking cute. i love it.
#kai's 1k followers fic rec#hp fanfiction#fred weasley fic recommendation#george weasley fic recommendation#harry potter fic recommendation#ron weasley fic recommendation#jily fic recommendation#charlie weasley fic recommendation
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