#i've never been in a relationship in my life and just gave what i'd picture at least a fictional love would be like
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can't help but miss you
Tom Kaulitz x Y/n Y/l/n
anonymous- I have a request, obvi you don’t have to do! Maybe like a 2023 smut with Tom Kaulitz( him and Heidi are dating not engaged) Reader and Tom had a thing/dating when he was younger/ aka when he had the dreads and they reunite at a party and the reader is like so pretty like model type and she’s like maybe a little younger than Tom and when they meet each others eyes Tom can’t seem to stop looking at her and like Heidi asks him what’s wrong but he just shrugs it off and later on when Heidi went to go get a drink or something the reader walks up to him and they end up going to the restroom and the smut happens… and then Heidi runs into him after but reader alr left and shit. ALSO I LOVE YOUR STORIES OFC YOU DONT HAVE TO ANSWER THIS REQUEST
No I absolutely love this- the worst thing fucking happened I deleted the wrong concept (baso I had two of these like a story set out and a write up and I deleted the write up x_x) but I re-wrote it and hopefully its better than the OG one ❤️
(smut/fluff)
people under 16+ please don't interact, if you do it's not my problem you've been warned!
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warnings- cheating, toxic relationship, fingering, sex, ownership, hair pulling, swearing, rough/smut into fluff, drugs are mentioned
words- 4k
(oh this is your outfit btw just without the gloves- black n white dress)
The music was blaring as I walked into my old friend Gustav's 35th birthday party, I wasn't expecting a blow out like this but I mean when I herd Bill was in charge it didn't fully surprise me, I looked around and everyone was dressed in black and white as we were told on the invitations. I turned to Beth my sister who'd been invited too and she was already laughing and smiling with some women, I carried on through the venue telling her I'd catch up with her later on
I saw some people I recognised but I'm nearly 15 years older now, freshly 31 years old, I turned around a corner and saw the smiling faces of three of my old best friends "Holy shit! Y/n oh my god!" Bill ran over pulling me into a hug- his hugs I've missed for years "you look amazing!" he let go and I gave him a spin
"you two! look at this outfit- Bill you never dress badly I swear to god" he giggled grabbing my hand and pulling me to the group
"look who it is" Georg smiled pulling me into a hug and I held him back "its been so long!"
"I know, ten years... shit thirteen I think since we last saw each other" I shook my head in disbelief at how the time has flown by, when we all last knew each other Tokio Hotel was going on their biggest tour and I was just getting big in the modelling world- now I'm one of the top models and they still do crazy big tours around the world "Gustav! happy birthday!" I called seeing him come to me and hugging me like the other two
"hey- I didn't even know you were coming! thank you by the way" he smiled- he looked different- they all did but none bad "how's life?"
"pretty good, Beth moved in with me not long ago, mom and dad are doing well and jobs just keeping me busy, how about you I herd you had a baby! what the fuck" a smile creeped onto his face as he pulled out his phone showing me all the pictures of the small girl and how she's already so grown up "god she's beautiful"
"just like her mom" he chirped pulling a women forward "Linda this is Y/n, childhood friend" a brown haired women stepped forward giving me a smile- she was beautiful. Our conversation continued till I felt a tap at my shoulder and I I saw him for the first time since we'd split back in 2010, his hair wasn't in long black braids, clothes not baggy and lip piercing still there no- his hair was brown and blonde waved and around his head, in black slacks and matching button, lip pricing gone "holy shit! hey!" Tom's arms closed around me giving me a huge hug, tighter than the rest
"Hi, fuck it's been so long!" he hummed into my hair pulling away but his hands still holding my arms "you look amazing!" I smiled hearing his voice again
"you too! the hair is new" he nodded playing with the ends like a kid "my god I can't believe I haven't seen you guys since I was like 19, its crazy" everyone said a string of 'yeah' and 'fuck its been long' but were interrupted by a voice that called Tom away, I looked to see a tall blonde women who I immediately recognised, Heidi Klum
"oh Y/n this is my girlfriend- Heidi this is-" the women stepped forward and grinned
"Y/n Y/l/n right? I saw you in vogue, you looked gorge in that red lace" I nodded feeling flattered a model like her had seen me but then it clicked GIRLFRIEND?- I would never have expected it
"lovely to meet you- I've seen some of your shoots and you're beautiful, especially " she blushed grabbing my hand. we kept talking till my sister came over and pulled me to go get drinks and I waved to the group
TOM'S POV-
My jaw could've fallen off when I saw her, she was even more pretty then before and I didn't even know that was possible, her hair looked perfect around her face, longer than before, make up made her look sexier than I could even imagine, her eyes were lighter than the smokey eyes she'd do daily, and the dress- god how it went around her thighs and fit her curves perfectly
I couldn't help but feel my heart skip when I looked over at her, I had to stop, I have Heidi but... but I couldn't.
the night went on but I couldn't stop thinking about Y/n- every memory of her, remembering those feelings that were flooding back from 13 years ago- the time I made the worst mistake
-flashback-
"are you fucking serious? what are you talking about?" Y/n spoke staring at her boyfriend who was leaning on the kitchen counter staring at the girl, eyes had dark circles around them, lips looked dry
"we should break up-" Toms voice was strong but he was falling apart inside, hearing those words come from his mouth felt like stabs to his heart
"Tom what the fuck!" the girls voice got louder and she slammed her bags into the floor, Y/n had just got off work and was more then excited to get home- it was Friday meaning date night but came home to see loads beer bottles thrown in the bin on the drive and cigaret boxes hiding between them "what happened within the 6 hours I was gone. you.. you were saying how much you loved me this morning and kissing me and now- now you want to break up?" her voice cracked even mentioning breaking up, she loved him more than life its self and had for the last 3 years they'd been dating, he helped her buy her first house, spent Christmas and birthdays together- why did he want to end it? is all she could think of
"well I was wrong and- I didn't mean any of that shit, I don't fucking love you... I haven't for years" his voice slurred. Y/n thought she'd faint, years?
"you're drunk- ah don't even deny it I saw the bottles Tom" he rolled his eyes walking to the door where she was stood and went to open it "what are you doing?" her voice quivered "Tom what are you doing... Tom please what are you doing!" she started to yell as he just stood over her looking to the door "TOM PLEASE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" she broke down grabbing his shirt and trying to pull him to look down "TOM! TOM LOOK AT ME! FUCK SAKE JUST LOOK AT ME TOM!" she screamed and the boy looked down seeing her, mascara running down her face, eyes full of tears and screams leaving her mouth but his mind was a blur with the mix of alcohol, tobacco, weed and the pure sadness he felt, he felt he was slipping from reality
"Y/n let go-" he spoke calmly "you need to let go of me" his voice began to shake as he tried to pry the girl off him
"NO! NO WHAT HAPPENED! WHAT DID I DO TOM PLEASE FUCKING TELL ME, DON'T JUST LEAVE!" Y/n poked her finger into his chest and again he just walked back into the kitchen and to the fridge pulling another beer out "stop drinking- just tell me!" she stormed to the kitchen and snatched the bottle from his hand
"you did nothing Y/n-" the girl argued back but he soon cut her off "Y/N I FUCKING CHEATED OKAY- I CHEATED ON YOU" he caught himself of guard screaming at her pointing his finger in her face and slamming his first onto the table, she cowered down but soon her eyes narrowed
"YOU FUCKING CHEATED!" with the bottle in hand the girl threw it toward the boy missing his face by inches she watched it smash onto the wall and explode "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CHEAT ON ME? WAS I NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? DID I NOT GIVE YOU ENOUGH?"
"YOU WERE ENOUGH GOD DAMN IT YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME Y/N- I FUCKING LOVE YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID IT OKAY!" the boy shouted back but Y/n wasn't having it she started finding anything she could and throwing it at him, oranges, keys, glasses, soap bottles you name it, she threw it
"YOU PEICE OF SHIT DON'T TELL ME YOU LOVE ME! YOU WOULDN'T CHEAT IF YOU LOVED ME AND YOU JUST FUCKING SAID YOU HAVEN'T LOVED ME IN YEARS" her heart began to shatter at the sight of him to the point she had to hold on to the counter- the same counter they'd make dinner together on and celebrate birthdays drink together, he'd sometimes lift her onto it and they kiss for hours on end, Tom walked over to the girl grabbing her hand she wanted to let go but she couldn't not with the way her head was, the world was spinning and she felt she'd fall any second
"I'm sorry- Y/n I'm sorry I don't know why I did it please I- I can't even look at myself without feeling like I've destroyed the one thing I love so much- I still love you Y/n, I never for a second of any year stopped, I don't know why I said what I said, I never stopped loving you but I can't be with you- not after what I've done" tears fell from the couples eyes as they stood there
"you have fucked me over Tom- I fucking loved you, I'd do anything for you and I get this? you said you'd marry me, we'd have a family, grow old, watch life become better together ; why did you ruin this?" her hands pounded on his chest with every word "you have ruined me- everything was going so well and I want you to know what ever happens next- is your fault" her words stung like hell, he could only stare and regret everything he ever did with that women.. why did he let his old ways get in the way "fuck you Tom- get the fuck out of my house- I never wanna see you ever fucking again, come get your shit tomorrow when I'm not here and I don't want to hear from you again" and with that the two never spoke again, never saw each other again and the feelings just faded with the years
-end of flashback-
now I'm standing here watching her dance around to her old favourite songs and sing like she always did around the house- god I missed her so much. I still felt a pain when I saw her, when we broke up I saw her in magazines, tv, posters, everywhere and would need to smoke straight after and drink something strong to try pull my mind from her- Y/n Y/ln
"hun whats wrong are you okay?" Heidi tapped me, pulling me from my thoughts
"huh- oh yeah I'm good just looking for Georg" I lied seeing her nod and she quickly said she was going to the bar with some friends and walked away, my eyes drifted back to Y/n, laughing with people we knew back in the days but soon I realised she wasn't looking at them- she was looking at-at me. she waved of the group and came to me with the same grin I remember being in love with
"hey! are you alright you seem a bit- gone" I rolled my eyes seeing the girl laugh "or was my dancing just that amazing?"
"oh of course" I chuckled seeing her start dancing again "wow you could be a professional" she stopped taking a sip of her drink and placing the empty cup on the side "I can't believe its been thirteen years" I sighed seeing her nod
"yeah- last time I saw you was erm.. when we broke up" a awkward laugh escaped her lips "fun times"
"yeah- I wanna apologise for it- I... the way I did it was stupid I was drinking and smoking because I thought it would make it easier but fuck it only made things so much worse and- and I'm sorry Y/n" the girl looked to me, her doe eyes softening and a smile spreading back along her red lips
"thank you...you know for the next two years after we broke up I sometimes wondered if you'd come home or just come see me you know- In a way I'm glad you didn't but god I missed you" I felt my heart swell- I did Dave past her house arguing with myself just to go knock the door, or call her and say I needed her... but I could never bring myself to do it
"I wanted to but I didn't want a orange pelted at me" I played she giggled again hitting my arm "see you can't stop hitting me!"
"shut up Thomas" hearing my nickname nearly knocked me out "god I haven't said that in a while"
"...I fucking missed you" I caught myself of guard, her y/c/e shot into my gaze and I felt my breath hitch, but I wasn't some dumb teen anymore I wanted to tell her everything"I- I miss everything about us- the dates, your voice, the long nights we'd be up talking, making dinner, singing songs, dance at parties, hold each other, spend holidays together- fuck I miss our..." I halted deciding if it was right to say, Y/n gave me a small nod and with a single breath it came out "I miss our sex- nobody is as good or understands me the way you did and it sounds crazy but fuck its true- I miss you Y/n- I regret everything" her eyes seemed glassy but everything I said was true
"I- I miss it all too, no one is like you- nobody treats me like you did, I- I miss you fucking every day I try to ignore it but 15 years I still think about you, I'm happy we moved on but I want you back... as stupid as that sounds" it was like the world only had us in it- my mind could only focus on her I wanted to kiss her- god kissing Y/N was like a dream come true for me. Every time we locked lips, my heart would flutter and my stomach would get butterflies. I loved the way her soft lips felt against mine and the way she'd close her eyes and melt into me, like nothing else mattered in the world. I could spend hours just kissing her and never get tired of it. It felt like a beautiful escape from the real world, where all that mattered was us and the moment we shared. Even when we had to part ways, the memory of our kisses would linger in my mind and make me smile.
in a fast move I caught her lips in mine, hands wrapping around her waist it was like I was 16 all over again, Y/n wrapped up in my arms and kissing her any chance I got, for a moment she was hesitant but I felt her mold to me, her hand tangled in my hair- I'd never felt her grip there but it felt so right. Thankfully we were in the corner of the room and as the night got later the only lights that were on were the ones on the dance floor so we weren't in view of anyone unless they really looked, my lips moved from her lips to her neck- I nipped just below her jaw, I remembered everything about her body, every dip, curve, spot. A sweet moan filled my ear making me only hungrier for her "fuck- Tom people might see us, be careful" hearing my name fall from her lips took me back. I felt the girl pull back and look down, my eyes followed her
"shit- I..I'm sorry" I saw the tent formed in my slacks brushing against her thigh, my eyes met with hers again a smirk forming on her lips. Without any more words we slid away into one of the many bathrooms in the building through the corridor and down the stairs "god I've fucking missed you baby-" she smiled pulling my face to her, foreheads hitting, she pressed one last kiss to my lips and sat on the bathroom counter, shoving all the soaps and towels to the floor.
It had been 15 years since I last touched her let alone had sex with Y/n. I was nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. I was worried whether I would be able to please her, whether I would be able to pleasure her, whether I would be able to make her feel the same way I had made her feel all those years ago when I could make her the most beautiful mess in the matter of minuets. I was scared of disappointing Y/n, of not being able to give her the same pleasure I had given her before. But despite all these fears, I was eager to be with Y/n once again, to experience the same feeling that we had experienced so long ago. I was ready to explore a new kind of connection with her, to explore the depths of our newly rediscovered lust. I was ready to fuck Y/n and have the pleasure that I had been missing for so long.
my hands wondered up her thighs onto the hem of the dress "can I?" she nodded lifting herself slightly so I could get the dress over her ass, I pulled it up revealing a small lacy black thong "fuck-" I groaned feeling my self wanting to rip it off her, she lifted her arms allowing me to get the dress fully off and I watched as her tits fell free , they were still my favourite eye candy all these years on "god I've missed those" I lunged forward taking her one boob into my mouth, swirling her nipple with my tongue hearing her soft noises escape her lips, her hands tangled themselves into my hair as she pulled me closer
"Tom- please i.. I need more" I pulled away looking to her face flushed red, I let my hands fall to her hips and play with the thong strap "please" she whined grabbing my hands and putting it to her heat, there was a small patch in the fabric- she was already soaking
"god still so needy hm?" she nodded "so wet for me-" my words came out in a almost moan and I watched her trying to roll her hips on my hand, I pulled away and shoved her hands back, I leaned down grabbing her legs and pulling her closer to me, my chin resting on her bare stomach "want me to take these off?" she hummed getting closer to me, I pressed a kiss to the inside of her thigh and grabbed both sides of the cotton ripping them apart
"TOM!" she yelled eyes widening at her panties in two "I-"
"its fine baby, I'll clean you up well so you wont need these, can be our little secret" her face went red again telling me I did a good job as I stuffed the fabric into my pocket "now- let me see that pretty little pussy" her legs parted and she was leaking already- she was beautiful, I let my ring finger slide through her folds hearing small whimpers string from her mouth "good girl, you like me touching you?"
"yes Tom- fuck I've missed this please- please I need more, don't tease pl-please" I laughed at her words pressing a small kiss to her head before letting my finger dip into her heat "SHIT-"
"shush- don't want people hearing you up stairs" she covered her mouth with her free hand and closed her eyes- I could've came at the sight but I knew I had to wait, I brought another finger into her feeling her tighten around me "good girl- you want more don't you?" she nodded opening her eyes that were already tearing up
"I need- I need you.." hearing her voice so quiet was music to my ears, she was so god damn hot "ple-" I sped up my pace adding a third didget and a cry spilled from her "I..I'm gonna- TOM!" I ripped my fingers out and let my mouth do the finishing part- tasting her for the first time in so long I hummed at the flavour "shit shit shit" she came, hands tightening around my shoulders
"you taste even sweeter doll" I grinned coming back up with my chin slick with her "think you can take more?" her mouth opened sucking for air "mh?" my hand cupped her jaw, thumb soothing her lips, I pulled away and brought the fingers that had once been in her, with no hesitation she took them into her mouth, cleaning her of me with a purr
"yes- I can please" with that I hand my hand back and unbuckled my belt, letting my slacks fall to the floor followed by my boxer, Y/n came closer unbuttoning my shirt reviling my chest, I pressed one last hungry kiss to her lips before lining myself up with her heat
"tell me when to stop-" she nodded her head and gently I pushed into her- the feeling taking me back, so warm and she fit so perfectly around me "ugh- fuck you never changed" a dopey smile appeared on her lips
"okay- you can move" she propped her self up on her hands, my hands holding her hips, I pulled out agonisingly slow "Tom please- don't tease me, not after this long" she breathed, eyes staring into mine. I snapped my hips out and back into the warmth quickly "SHIT" she screamed
"good girl- take it Y/n, I know you can doll come on" I spoke between thrusts, I grabbed her legs throwing them over my shoulders going deeper into her, a high moan flooded the bathroom as I pressed against her g-spot
"fuck right there babe- right there" hearing my old pet name sent me into overdrive, I pulled her off the counter and pressed her against the granite, ass slapping again my hips and I slammed myself into her, I watched her face in the mirror- tears of pleasure forming in her y/c/e's, mouth wide open "Oh my god- I forgot how big you- you are" a proud grin plastered my face
"look at yourself baby- watch how good I fuck you" her eyes opened wider as she looked at her self "look at you angel taking me so well ,cock feels so good in you Y/n" I whined pushing myself as deep as I could
I let go of her hip where my hand perfectly fit and twisted her hair into a makeshift pony-tail, pulling her head back, my lips in the shell of her ear "look so pretty like this baby- god I missed you" I pressed kisses to her hair line still watching her in the mirror, tits bouncing at ever push "so perfect for me... this pussy is all mine- nobody will ever fuck you better than me huh?"
"no- shit no, this pussy is yours Tom- all yours" I felt my cock twitch and my legs go weak "fuck... Tommy I'm so close" I let her hair go, pulling out and twisting her around so I could see her face, she grabbed my cock lining it back up and I sunk back in
"cum for me babe- fuck, just like tha-" before I could finish my sentence I felt her tighten around me, squeezing me In all the right places, her eyes squeezed shut and a sob good enough to be a porn star erupted from her throat and soon I felt myself cum into her, pumping her full, our liquids running down my cock and on her thighs
"fuck yes- feels so.. good" her voice was a whisper as she clung onto my shoulders "good-so good" I could tell her mind was blank, as we both came down from our high I stared to her face, eyes closed as she caught her breath- I missed her, not just because of the sex but being able to walk up and wrap my arms around her, talk to her on the phone the whole night on tour, give her gifts and spoil her, be there when she cried
"I love you" I spoke pressing a kiss to her cheek "I love you so much- I miss you Y/n" her eyes opened, head nodding at all my words
"i... I know Tom but- we can't, you- you know that, you have Heidi now- I'm just a memory; but I love you- and I want you to know that" she panted catching her breath, her hand cupped my jaw as she pressed a small kiss to my lips, where her favourite piercing was
"i... I don't want you to be a memory Y/n-" she wrapped her arms around me and I couldn't help but hold her again tears pricking my eyes "I don't want to lose you again"
"it's over Tom- but I'll always be here, I'll always love you but we can't be together" I nodded my head, peppering her face with kisses and finally to her lips; it wasn't hungry this time- passionate, longing and meaningful, painfully as I knew this was the last time
after we cleaned up and hugged one last time we made our ways out, going our separate ways once again- I knew she'd be going home- back to the house where I ruined everything.
I went over to the bar ordering a shot of vodka and taking it quickly, I felt arms tangle around me and rush of hope filled me "y/-"
"darling where have you been?" Heidi kissed my cheek raking her hands through my hair
"just in the bathroom" i spoke seeing her nod her head- only if she knew
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#bill kaulitz#georg listing#gustav schäfer#kaulitz twins#tom kaulitz#tom kaulitz x reader#00s#tom kaulitz imagines#tokio hotel#germany#2023#Tom Kaulitz 2023#tom kaulitz smut#tom kaulitz icons#tom kaulitz x y/n#bill kaulitz x reader#female reader#tokio hotel smut#fluff#fem reader#x reader#guitarist#heidi klum
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─LOVE? I FOUND THAT IN YOU ; MIKAGE REO
-1.4k words, SO much vulnerability from both Reo and reader, they kiss (🤮), smoking, little crying, exes to lovers, angst if you squint really hard tbh, mostly fluff, it was his birthday so I had to write something so here this is, whatever it is tbh. REBLOGS + INTERACTIONS ARE APPRECIATED!!
All Reo ever wanted was you, and to be fair all you ever wanted was him too.
"Since when did you indulge in that?" You knew the source of the voice well. A little too well for your own good.
"Reo," you stated his name as you felt his presence beside you, leaning on the balcony railing much like you had been doing. The only exception was that you held a lit cigarette between your index and middle fingers as you looked at the city below and he kept his gaze fixed on you, a lazy smile on his lips.
You knew you would come across him. It was Nagi's party at the end of the day and wherever Nagi went, Reo was bound to be seen. So you were not really surprised. You just didn't expect him to catch you smoking on the balcony alone, staring at the city lights and the zooming cars below.
"What? Not liking the party very much?" You heard him ask softly, not really earning the courage to look at him yet.
"I just needed a smoke and I needed some time alone. You know that crowds aren't my thing," you sighed, taking a drag off of the harmful stick.
"Yeah I guessed so," you saw him shake his head from your peripheral vision. "Cigarettes then? Really? After being dead against smoking?"
"You don't have to chastise me. I've already been chastised by enough people around," you finally got the courage to look at the man you once called your own. It hurt, truly, it did but you were not really the type to show your hurt. You were never really good at communication or expressing your feelings which led to the downfall of your two year relationship with Reo. Really, you could not even blame him. He tried his best but you were too scared to keep going.
"Oh no I am not chastising you. I don't have the right anymore y/n, I was simply a bit shocked is what," he smiled in a soft and sad manner. It was the same smile he gave you when you left him. You remembered it as clearly as a midsummer's day to be fair. It haunted you day and night.
"Nagi told me something about you that had me quite...well....for the lack of better words, stunned," you seemed nervous, fiddling with the dainty necklace on your neck. Playing with the pendant, you ignored his amused gaze as he hummed in response.
"He told me about a certain picture in your wallet," you tapped the ash of your cigarette and saw it float away with the chilly wind of the night.
"Ah, you mean this," Reo let out a slow chuckle as he reached for the back pocket of his trousers, taking out a leather Gucci wallet. He opened the wallet and took out a picture that was taken last year on his birthday.
You stared at it with something akin to nostalgia in your eyes. It was a Polaroid of the two of you. A cake kept on the table as he kissed your cheek, two widely smiling faces. Times were good back then, you thought.
"I swore I'd keep it with me didn't I?" He chuckled again, keeping the picture back as he put away his wallet to focus his eyes on your face. "I don't really mean to break it anytime soon."
"Why are you doing this to yourself Reo?" You closed your eyes, looking away.
You couldn't stand him. You couldn't stand his perfect self who loved you so perfectly. You couldn't stand how he embraced your flaws, flaws that even you couldn't embrace and always provided solace to you when you felt lost in your own mind. You couldn't stand how even when you left him, he didn't find it in himself to hate you. You never hated him either. All you ever wanted since the day you made the wretched decision to leave him, was to run back and into his arms. To hold onto him like your life depended on it and never let him go, ever again.
"That's a stupid question from someone as smart as you," he put your hair behind your ear, the same look of distinct adoration in his eyes that he had held before.
"Give me that," he took the cigarette from your hand and took a drag out of it bursting out into a fit of cough. His scrunched nose and disgusted look made you laugh. A genuine laugh, that he missed so much.
"God how the fuck do you smoke that, it's absolutely disgusting," he handed the stick back to you.
"Takes a bit of practice but it grows on you," you laughed again.
"You haven't changed a bit Reo," your hands trailed up to his collar, swatting away the bit of ash that had fallen on it.
"I hope you mean that in a good way," he took a hold of your hand on his collar and brought it up to his lips, leaving a chaste kiss on it.
"I mean that in the best way," you glided your thumb across his lower lip before cupping his cheek. He leaned into it. At the end of the day, Mikage Reo would do anything to receive the slightest tinge of affection from you.
"Come back to me y/n. It's been hell for me these past couple of months and seeing that Marlboro between your lips, I know it has been for you too. Come back, please," he closed his eyes, keeping your hand in its place on his cheek.
"I'm scared Reo," you finished your cigarette, crushing it under your foot as you pulled his face closer to yours and touched your forehead to his.
"I'm scared I'll ruin us again. I'm scared I'll mess it up for us yet again. I'm scared of hurting you," little tears rolled down your face and your voice turned into a hushed whisper.
"You could never ever hurt me. You hear me? You complete me, baby. Nothing can ever change that. Whatever problems we'll have, we will sort through it, we will talk it through and whatever problems we have it'll be ours. Our problem y/n, not your or my individual problems, but ours. I want you, I want to go through all of this together with you. Every one of my achievements, I want to achieve them with you standing by my side," he pressed a gentle kiss on your lips, so soft that it could be mistaken for a touch of a feather.
"I want to share a drink with you on the balcony on moonlit nights, I want to laugh at all the cat videos together, I want to eat pizza with you on the kitchen floor when we're both too lazy to cook something. I want you to laugh like a maniac when my mother shows you my childhood pictures and tells the story attached to it as I get embarrassed. I want it all y/n and I want it with you," he finished and you didn't quite know what to say to all that. He always had that effect on you, rendering you speechless.
"Always the flatterer," you wrapped your arms around his neck as you giggled a bit. The night breeze brought a sense of comfort and it was the good old days back again. When you felt safe in his arms and it was just the both of you, basking in the tranquility of the love the both of you shared.
"I want it all Reo. I want it all and I want it with you," you nodded your head vigorously as you smiled at him. He returned a wet smile of his own and wiped away the tears from your eyes.
He kissed you then, in the quiet balcony, in the presence of the moon, the city lights and the zooming cars below, he kissed you slowly and passionately. He relaxed against your lips. How much he missed this, how much he missed you. You both let out hushed giggles in between the kiss just like you did when you had kissed for the first time ever.
You broke away and looked in his eyes, a smile on both of your faces.
They reminded you that you were not alone and that he would be with you. Every path you would travel, you would do it together, just like you had promised before. Every vulnerability of yours would be shared by him. No words were exchanged but the admiration in his face told you whatever you needed to know. They consoled the part of you that yearned to be understood. He would always understand you, he always did. Really, if you ever had to talk about love you would talk about Reo because love was wherever Mikage Reo was. Love would always be where Mikage Reo was.
#bllk#blue lock#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk fluff#blue lock fluff#bllk reo#blue lock reo#reo x reader#mikage reo#mikage reo angst#mikage reo fluff#reo angst#bllk angst#blue lock angst#mikage reo x you#reo x you#reo x y/n#mikage reo x reader#—storytelling🌙
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Hi, Ro! First of all let me claim this 🐻 emoji can I? since I'm your anon fans haha. But it's true bcs I really adore your writing, they always made my day so thanks!
Sooo, I'd like to request an Ollie oneshot or imagine. I've my own prompt and plot if you're okay with it. Here is mine:
Ollie had been dating Y/N for couple of years but they kept it a secret from everyone. One day Ollie was doing a stream with his fans, he told Y/N about it and she planned to stay in the room so that she wouldn't be in the spotlight while Ollie was streaming. However, Y/N accidentally went to the room where Ollie was streaming bcs she couldn't find her stuff and the fans saw Y/N, then they started asking who Y/N was. Y/N tried to cover up about who she was bcs she worried Ollie would be mad, but Ollie did the opposite.
Ollie invited her to join the stream and did a go public. Y/N was scared bcs she was just a very ordinary british girl, she was just a nerd when most drivers tend to date someone famous, also everything was too sudden, she was afraid that Ollie's fans wouldn't like the idea of their fav driver already had a partner but Ollie comforted her, and they read those messages from the fans admired her beauty even supported their relationship. Maybe there's cute part when both of them answered some of fans questions about them.
Some prompt from me if you wanna use:
"She may look ordinary but I love her a lot, like a looooot. Also, my girl is bloody smart, soon to be my engineer!"
"See? They say you are beautiful! I know right?!"
"I love her bcs she makes the best smoothies in the world."
SORRY BCS IT'S VERY LONG BUT I JUST WANT TO WRITE WHAT'S IN MY HEAD BUT THE REST IS UP TO YOU. Thank youuu x
-anon🐻
Ollie Bearman- Why
a/n: first thank you so much that’s so sweet of you 🥹🥰 and yes ofc you can take that emoji! okay I LOVE the idea of secretive/protective bf Ollie! not that he doesn’t want to show you off, he 100% does, but he just doesn’t want the press to invade your personal space, etc. also I’m thinking childhoodfriend!reader… hope this is okay!
pairing: ollie bearman x childhoodfriend!reader
summary: you accidentally join ollie's stream causing you guys to go public with your relationship.
warnings: cursing
word count: 1,239
not my gif!
~
You and Ollie had been keeping your relationship secret for a while. You’d known Ollie your entire life, him being the perfect boy-next-door when you moved to Essex for your dad’s job. It was hard for you to adapt to your new school and environment, so you were always at Ollie’s house. He’d always been friendly and kind, and overall was a great person.
The few times you were out in public with Ollie after he got into F2, a few people noticed him and asked you to take their picture with him. It never bothered you; you were always happy that people recognized him for his hard work.
People remembered you as that one girl Ollie hangs out with. They saw glimpses of you, but no one knew that you two were together. You two had been dating for 2 and a half years, and things couldn’t be going better. You’d moved in together a few months ago, and were talking about getting engaged; he even suggested starting to look for rings.
“I’m gonna start streaming in like half an hour, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Now you were sitting on you and Ollie’s couch, waiting for his livestream to be over. He told you that he’d be about an hour, which was normal for one of his streams. When he isolated himself into his room, you cleaned up a few things around the house, enjoying the quiet and peacefulness that echoed through the house. Ollie was always energetic and lively, but you needed some quiet time. Unfortunately without him, you were getting bored now. His livestream had gone on an extra twenty minutes longer than he said it would be.
Over the course of a few months, you’d picked up the hobby of crocheting. You had made little dinosaurs and flowers and gave them to your friends. Your current project was a brown teddy bear since Ollie’s birthday was coming up, but you couldn’t find it. You tore apart your room looking for it. It took you months to get the little feet right, and its hands. Then it hit you
You probably left it in Ollie’s room since he wanted you to stay with him last night.
“Baby please stay. You’re warm.”
“You’re gonna fall asleep.” You chuckled.
“That’s the point. Please, princess?”
“Fine. Only ‘cause you’re cute when you’re needy.”
After he nodded off, you sneaked out of his room and grabbed his gift and sat in his desk chair, watching him sleep as you crocheted.
You looked around the floor, scanning for the half finished teddy bear. “Babe, have you seen my-”
“Y/N-”
“I swear it was right here.” You looked at Ollie who had wide eyes and a worried expression on his face, gesturing with his eyes towards the camera. He got up, trying to block your face from the camera.
“Oh crap.”
You glanced towards the screen, seeing the comments blowing up.
who is that??
is that his gf?
wait she looks familiar!!!
You rushed out of the room, swearing at yourself. You guys had been so careful about your relationship for the past few years, and now you’d gone and ruined it. You started pacing into the hallway, eventually ending up in the living room.
Oh shit. Oh shit. What had you just done? Ollie would be forever mad at you. You heard Ollie quickly excuse himself from the livestream, hearing his footsteps coming closer and closer. Oh god. You started to panic, your breathing becoming faster and your chest feeling heavy.
“Love?”
You only groaned in response.
“Hey. It’s okay.”
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry, Ol. Shit.”
“Y/N,” He sat down next to you, putting his arm around you. “Oh my god. Oh my god.”
“Y/N,” His voice was soothing and reassuring. “Just breathe, baby. It’s alright.”
“Fuck. Fuck. I’m so sorry,” He pulled you into his chest, stroking your hair.
“Shh. It’s okay, baby. Just breathe.”
~
It’d been about a week since the incident, you and Ollie laying low for the first few days, then slowly getting back on social media. Ollie had reassured you that everything was going to be okay, which it was. After it wasn’t a sore subject anymore, he suggested a Q&A so people would get to know you a little better. To his surprise, you said yes. So here you were, sat in front of his camera.
“Hey guys! This is my girlfriend, Y/N. Today we’ll be answering some of your guys’ questions.” He turned to you and wrapped his arm around you, giving you some support.
“Hi.” You’d felt a little anxious, since you never had been much of a vlogger or a YouTuber, so it was all new territory for you. You started reading the comments to yourself, and to your surprise they were actually really nice. You’d heard horror stories of drivers’ girlfriends getting death threats and whatnot.
Wait she’s actually really pretty
Aww they’re so cute!!!! 🥰🥰
#imgonnabealoneforever
I love your hair!!!
The way he looks at herrrrrrr. God 😭🥹
If he looked at me like that i’d melt on the spot ngl
You giggled at some of the comments, letting Ollie take the reins as he answered questions about him in the Ferrari Academy. You got more comfortable as you listened to him talk about driving, as some of the questions veered towards your guys’ relationship.
how long have you guys known each other?
First date storytime!!!! please!!!!
One question in particular caught your eye: Why did you hide your relationship for so long?
“Honestly, it was Ollie,” You answered honestly. “Guess he didn’t want me revealing his deepest darkest secrets during parties and events. I get chatty when I’m nervous,” You explained.
“No,” He said, hugging you closer to him. “Just didn’t want the press getting to you, love.” He placed a kiss on your temple
do you have a job/career? If so what is it??? <3
“Oh, well actually, I’m in school right now, but I’m aiming to be an engineer.”
“My smart girl!” He said, pinching your cheek.
“Ow.” You said, swatting his hand away. You chuckled at him, smiling at him.
You both answered a few more questions, laughing and making fun of each other until you both stopped and read the same one:
just curious, r u guys thinking long term? I love u guys btw!!!
“Oh, um,” You looked over at Ollie, seeing how he was going to answer the question. He did the same.
“I think so. I really like her, so-”
“Actually, I kinda hate you, baby. I forgot to tell you.” You joked.
You guys said good-bye to the fans and ended the livestream and decided to watch a movie.
~
You were laying with Ollie on the couch. For some reason you’d still felt guilty about what happened.
“You okay? You’re so tense all of a sudden.”
“I’m sorry about the whole livestream situation, honey,” The words came out on their own. “I know you didn’t want our relationship to come out like that.” You said, looking up at him. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay my love. I know it was an accident. No need to apologize,” He leaned forward and kissed you on the forehead.
You looked back at the screen, feeling the stress leaving your body.
“Honey?”
“Hmm?”
“What were you looking for, anyway?”
“Oh, um, you’ll find out soon enough."
#fanfiction#formual 1#formula 2#ollie bearman#oliver bearman#ferarri#formula one#prema racing#ferrari academy#carlos sainz f1#charles leclerc#arthurleclerc
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Not really a question but I just need to say this to someone who will understand. Also, people have asked you questions what a meltdown looks like. So this is mine, one of the worst I've ever had in my adult life.
I'm 40 years old and am so good at masking that I wasn't diagnosed as autistic until my mid-30s. Normally, I can blend into most social situations. However, I have been in constant pain for 2 months due to a medical issue, and the exhaustion of pain that will never stop has eroded away all the mask. I am now 100% Naked Autistic, because I am burned out beyond anything I've ever felt in my life.
Yesterday I had a complete and utter meltdown in the doctor's office, and it was terrifying. First, he entered the room angry, yelling at me to "stop being rude to my staff". I'm extremely sensitive to being called "rude" because that's what I've been called all my life, just for existing. I've internalized it and now I know, my existence is rude. So whenever someone calls me "rude", it hurts very deeply, even when I'm NOT in a burnout state.
This doctor was SO angry and yelled at me SO much and I couldn't hold it together, I started to cry. He told me to calm down "or else", but I was already in the middle of a meltdown, I literally couldn't.
Then he gave me bad medical news. My test results were inconclusive and didn't show what was wrong with me. Which meant there was no hope of my pain ending any time soon.
Thankfully my mother was there and she helped me communicate, and we at least got him to order more tests, and to prescribe me a new medication to try. But at no point did he become kind or merciful; it was clear from his face that he just wanted me out of his sight as quickly as possible, because I am "rude".
At that point I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I turned into an animal. I had to escape; my flight response kicked in HUGE. I ran out of there. The minute I was in the hall I started to scream at the top of my lungs, and I could not stop. I punched the concrete wall over and over (my hand is all bruised today, I think I'm lucky that it's not broken). People in the hall were terrified of me. Rightly so. I was violent and out of control. I tried to rip the pictures of the walls, but they were screwed down.
My mother was brilliant. She knew I couldn't stop, or speak, or listen. She said to me "Our goal is to get to the car. Let's get to the car. We can do it." Simple, clear direction that was easy to follow. I couldn't stop screaming or crying, but I could walk. She put her hand on my shoulder and guided me, down the hall, out the door, into the car. Because if I'd stayed in the building with that behavior, police could have been called. Very bad things could have happened. She saved me from that.
I screamed in the car for a long time. I could only sob and cry and scream. I think about a half hour went by. It was a long time. Finally, because I was in a safe place (our familiar car), with a person I trusted (my mother), the worst of the meltdown passed and I was able to stop screaming.
I was exhausted. I was terrified. My hand was killing me. I was like a puppy or a little child, helpless to my overwhelming emotions. Eventually, Mom asked if I'd like to get a donut from the donut shop across the street. She moved my mind onto something else. The donut tasted delicious (I mean its a donut), and that pleasant sensory input helped me focus my mind. I finally calmed down enough that we could talk.
I am 40 years old, live independently, have a professional career, a long-term relationship with my partner, and otherwise appear to be a "successful allistic". But yesterday, I was absolutely nonfunctional. If I didn't have my needs supported by my mother, who knows what could have happened.
I am much better today. Exhausted from everything, but not overwhelmed anymore. I'm telling this story so that others who go through a meltdown can know what it is- and why they're suddenly acting like that. It's because of my autistic brain, and the fact that it was overwhelmed with more emotion than a body can handle or express.
But it passes. It ends. The next day comes, and you can try to heal.
Hi there,
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I’m not sure if you’re seeing that doctor or not, but I would try and distance myself if you work together, or see each other.
That doctor, or whoever it was, is the rude one, yelling at people and being disrespectful and not understanding. Who walks in and randomly starts yelling at people?
I sometimes have my boyfriend or mom speak for me because sometimes I don’t know what to say or do in certain situations.
Sorry for the rambling. Thanks again for sharing. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️
Also please try and get away from that doctor. Reading this made me sad and angry. I’m sorry you had to deal with this. Sending a hug.
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HI! IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR REQUESTS TO OPEN!
Can we please get a song fic with "dial drunk" by Noah kahan??? Definitely gotta be a sad ending. I was thinking either Eddie or Steve, but you can pick! Thank you so much!
(I'd give you a kiss, but I've seen SB get jealous over less 🤭)
Jealous SB is one of my favorite versions of SB
Never proofread
I’m rememberin’ I promised to forget you now
But it’s rainin’ and I’m callin’ drunk
And my medicine is drowning your perspective out
So I ain’t taking any fault
Am I honest still? Am I half the man I used to be?
I doubt it, forget about it, whatever
It’s all the same anyways
Breakups were easy for Eddie because he never bothered to fall in love. He'd get into a relationship, hold himself from falling in love, and get over the girl a week after the breakup.
But now he's on month two of his breakup with Y/N and it hasn't gotten easier. She was the first girl that showed him what falling in love felt like. And she showed him how painful falling in love was.
Everything he touched, he ruined, and she was another thing he shattered. He held her heart in his hands and kept it safe for years and years. He took that heart with him to the bar and held it close while he got drunk, feeling the beating of her heart when he kissed someone new. Leaving her heart on the shelf while he felt the inside of another girl, not noticing the damage the heart would take.
Until the morning when he woke up with a girl that wasn't her, the heart burned when he touched it, glazed over with betrayal. He returned the heart to her with guilt in his eyes, and apologies were on his tongue. It wasn't enough. Her heart was in pieces, and she took every piece back.
Eddie promised himself he'd get over her, he vowed to forget about her in weeks, just like every other girl. But the rain was pouring as he drove to the bar, the same bar where he lost half of himself.
I ain’t proud of all the punches that I’ve thrown
In the name of someone I no longer know
For the shame of being young, drunk, and alone
Eddie lost count of how many drinks burned down his throat, but he was aware of how many times the guy next to him commented on the picture of Y/N. He took it out to stare at her, slamming the liquor down as he looked at the girl he missed.
His pity party was cut short when he heard the sexual comments the guy next to him had to say.
19....20....21..by the time the guy got to his 22nd comment, Eddie was yanking him off the bar stool. Shoving the man to the ground and trying to heal with every punch he landed.
I don’t like that, when they threw me in the car
I gave your name as my emergency phone call
Honey, it rang and rang, even the cops thought you were wrong for hanging up
I dial drunk, I’ll die a drunk, I’ll die for you
Eddie heard the commotion all around him, but all he could focus on was releasing the anger, sadness, and regret that had built up in him. He heard sirens, and he felt hands grabbing him. His body was being slammed down with his cheek pressed into the sticky floorboards. His hands were yanked behind his back, feeling cold metal on his wrists as they were cuffed together.
He ended up in the backseat of a cop car, one place he vowed to never be in. But here he was, drunk, alone, and arrested. Just like his father.
When he arrived at the station, the cops asked for the number for his emergency call, and he gave her number. Eddie had no one in his life, she was the very last person, and she didn't want to be.
He listened to the call ring and ring. His heart raced the longer it rang; no trace of life on the other line.
The cop looked sadly over at him, a sense of pity in his eyes as Eddie heard the phone die out. He shouldn't be surprised that she didn't answer. This wasn't the first, or even the tenth, time he called her wasted off of his ass. She never picked up, and he hated that he wished for the outcome to be different every time.
I’ll rot with all the burnouts in the cell
I’ll change my faith, I’ll kiss the badge
Just wait, I swear she’ll call me back
Son, why do you do this to yourself?
The cop was getting ready to move him to a cell, but Eddie pleaded just to have another minute. He'd do anything for another minute just to have a gamble to hear her voice again.
He'd rot away with the other burnouts in a cell. He'll change his views, believe in new fates, and discover a new god.
"Please, sir, just wait. I know she'll call back." Eddie pleaded
The cop didn't seem convinced, the pity look taking over his face as he watched Eddie almost in tears.
"Son, why do you do this to yourself?"
"Because I know she will call back."
It was a lie Eddie would continue to tell himself.
Because in the end
I dial drunk, I’ll die a drunk, I’d die for you
tags!
@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#eddie stranger things#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson request#eddie munson angst#eddie munson angst x reader#ashwhowrites#eddie munson song fic#eddie munson angst x female reader#eddie munson angst imagine#Eddie munson angst fic
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𝖝. 𝖆. 𝖓. 𝖆. — lyrics sentence starters.
A collection of sentence starters from some singles released, minus anything featured in Tantrums ( the meme featuring those is here ). This meme also includes a song not by her, but which she is featured in. Do not add to or steal this meme. Feel free to change pronouns, edits phrasing, or generally slightly edit or combine lines as needed. Some lines have already been slightly rephrased for rp purposes.
tw: cheating, toxic relationships, suggestive
MONSTER
i hold your mistakes high over your head, especially when they look like mine.
i'm not one to hand out forgiveness.
it pains me to admit you were right.
someday i will be someone you resent.
honey, the pleasure is all mine.
i heard you're calling me a traitor.
i owe you a good apology, i'll do it later.
i paint myself the good guy.
i heard you're calling me a monster.
after all the shit i pulled, you could do better.
i'll do what i want over what's right.
you gave me your all.
it was intimate.
i guess it ain't your fault that i can't commit.
i never listen.
i couldn't help but feel so indifferent.
all my failures are visceral.
i still taste blood from years ago.
you ain't good enough.
i can't even be honest with myself.
how could you believe i'd do that for someone else?
i don't want that life.
i'm kissing boys in the back of their cars.
it's half past 3.
you were fast asleep while i was on the phone with [ Jodie ].
will i ever know why i am like this?
i go for what i can't have, like i'm righteous.
i can't face the shame.
if you wanna place blame, just say my name.
i go home alone and i think it's strange.
i got what i want but it don't taste the same.
everyone who's ever loved me is the enemy.
i get high on all the jealousy.
you can't forgive the infidelity.
i don't wanna be someone who lives like that.
i was supposed to be a good friend, trusted.
i snuck around with the love of your life.
after all the shit i pulled, you should do better.
HOMEWRECKING ERA
wrap your thighs around me.
i could keep all your secrets.
cross my heart and hope i mean it.
think of all the damage i could do.
say less.
push me on the counter.
call me princess.
wish i could say no, but it's hopeless.
i'm losing focus.
i wonder if [ she ] knows about those pictures on your phone.
you should feel guilty, but you don't.
i'm in my homewrecking era.
got things i wanna do to you.
i feel bad for a minute.
you make me feel so good.
i taste something bitter in my mouth.
i left my bralette on the ground.
i can't help myself.
nobody fucks like me.
i'm the [ girl ] of your dirty dreams
the silence is deafening.
do you miss me?
i think [ she ] can taste me.
i can give you what you want.
we called it love.
we might've fucked it up.
baby, just fuck me up.
i'm the flame that keeps you warm at night.
don't i bring out the green in her eyes?
you like how pretty [ she ] is when [ she ] cries.
[ she ] loves you so much, even the lies.
we're both the one, but never the only.
you get so lonely
crown me the villain and hero tonight.
fucking me brought you together so nice.
i got a taste for the drama.
i spilled your guts 'cause i wanted.
look at all this damage that i do.
BETTER KIND OF BEST FRIEND
i can see [ her ] in my dreams.
i see [ her ] in my bed.
[ she's ] the goddamn vision that ringin' in my head.
i'm waitin', patient.
we could be good together.
let me release the pressure.
i think i found my treasure.
[ she ] tastes like heaven and she knows it.
i'm eager.
i just wanna please you.
she's got me prayin'.
i could be a better kind of best friend.
i'm a fan.
i don't die for my [ women ] anymore.
i'll do anything to have you.
i swear to be true.
i don't die for my [ women ] anymore, i kill for them.
you don't need to ask, you got my permission.
lord knows we tried.
can't stay away from each other.
you know i'm a sucker.
watch as i swallow my pride.
i wanna make it intimate.
i've got my finger on the trigger.
they come and go.
YOU DON'T WANT ME LIKE THAT
( by Rachel Bochner )
if you hated me it'd be easier.
i know what's coming is really gonna hurt.
if i hated you, i would've never tried.
it's a habit you conditioned.
i wonder if you know you're bad.
i wanna tell you that i miss you.
you wouldn't say it back.
you don't want me like that.
you don't want a picture of me sitting on your nightstand.
you don't wanna touch me in the way we both know you can.
you just like the way i feel stuck in the palm of your hand.
where do you get off on it?
i do the extra credit but you're never satisfied.
i keep you center stage.
you keep me on the side.
i'm crossing all the lines.
you won't call it what it is.
you just call me when you're blue.
the fantasy is cute.
i would give you all i have.
i stay up waiting for you.
i can't keep waiting.
BABYBLUE
baby blue was always your color.
it's a little strange how we're seeing each other.
god, you look just as i remembered.
it's been a few years.
i've known you forever.
you packed your bags and moved to [ Boston. ]
you needed a place that you could get lost in.
time will tell.
you got my youth on your bedpost.
say it ain't so.
our picture's getting dusty.
you smell vanilla and don't think about me.
i hope it's alright, your life without me.
you ran to my house in the pouring rain.
i've cried every damn day since you left.
i don't mind if i never get over it.
i've been watching reruns.
i should call my little sister, i worry about her all the time.
you hold other hands.
i'm biting my tongue.
you're making new plans.
i'm coming undone.
i watch your old films.
looking at it now, i think i love you still.
i try to be cool.
if i never say a word, does it make it less true?
i feel the time go.
i fear the unknown.
it's getting so old.
all of my anxieties are filling up my diaries.
the water ran cold.
there's so much i don't know.
i think i gotta go.
you see green and don't think about me.
BAD BANDIT
i've been lonely for awhile now.
i'm tired of this ghost town.
[ she ] looks pretty on [ her ] poster.
i'm thinking i could hold [ her ].
i want you on my body.
won't you face it?
you wanna make or break it.
you wanna feel me naked.
i'll show you how to take it.
count your blessings when the devil ain't got nowhere to go.
maybe i'm bratty.
i taught that [ man ] a lesson.
[ he ] was charming and i loved [ him ].
[ his ] urges were disgusting.
i bed [ him ] down to nothing.
that little [ lady ] wanted love.
it's such a damn shame.
you better run, babe.
[ she's ] taking aim.
[ she ] promised me [ her ] best.
i could see forever in [ her ] golden eyes.
my baby told me lies.
i swear i'm gonna die.
but i ain't the one biting the dust tonight.
i swear i'm gonna miss [ her ] for the rest of my days.
i still hear [ her ] voice.
BET YOU'LL GET OFF ON THIS
maybe in another year you might be different.
i'd rather not admit how many years i've been insisting.
you showed me your true colors.
you used to be the prettiest thing i'd ever seen.
what you said to me last sunday was disgusting.
i don't need to look at you to know you feel nothing.
you feel nothing.
maybe you like it better when i'm cool.
i don't give a shit.
did you really have to be so cruel?
all i ever did was try to love you.
i don't know who you are.
i saw the façade slip, and it was alarming.
i'm left with confusion.
how did you not ever learn to be human?
what did i expect?
you never grew up.
you think you're so deep, but you're so out of touch.
[ Natalie ] was right when [ she ] said that you were heartless.
i don't ever want you to touch me again.
i really can't stand the way you talk about your [ girlfriend ].
bet it hurts to know i'm no longer your forever.
i won't hold my breath, but i hope you get better.
i don't wanna belittle my love.
all we ever did was try to love you.
#rp meme#rp prompts#roleplay meme#roleplay prompts#sentence starters#cheating tw#toxic tw#suggestive#queue
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First of all I just wanted to commend you for becoming a TS hate blog despite the annoying fangirl swarm you're probably going to face. You're truly doing the lord's work.
I saw that you said you were her a fan of hers but then realised who she was after her breakup with Joe. I was curious about how long you'd been a fan and how involved were you in the fandom and what was it that caused this 180? Was it one thing that just shook you out or was it little things added up?
For me, I had always considered myself more of a casual fan of her music but never got into the fandom side of it because I always thought of swifties as pretty fucking annoying. However, I've had mutuals through the years who were more in the fandom so I sort of observed from the outside. As for her as a person, I never went to bat for her but I always felt like I gave her a sense of grace and understanding despite her being 7 years older than me and far more privileged. For example, when people accused her of always playing the victim I always thought it was understandable because when you're young you often only see things from your own pov, but with age and maturity you start seeing the bigger picture.
My issues with her started in 2020, the year after she made a documentary where she shed her white women tears and proclaimed she wanted to be politically active and use her voice for good. But when the opportunity came with covid, BLM and the election she did less than the bare minimum, a couple of tweets and some cookies iirc. After that her shitty allyship continued to annoy me especially after that Ginny and Georgia tweet, but what was really grating on my nerves was the way her fanbase and the media were hailing her an artistic genius for the littlest things. She's always been one of the poster girls for white mediocrity in the entertainment industry but it was taken to whole new level with her directing her "short film". I don't know what makes good music, but I do know little more about movies and directors and all too well was just so meh and bland and basic and the fact that Sadie and Dylan are both brilliant actors yet their performances in that "film" were so lackluster tells me she does not have what it takes to be a director. Yet she was invited to one of those variety talks and was campaigning for a Oscar nomination? And will apparently direct a movie sometime in the future? Has the world lost it's fucking mind?
Anyways come 2023 to her dating a bigot and I realised just how much of a performance her "activism" has been and her going back to the same tricks of playing victim that made me realise it wasn't immaturity and age this is just who she is.
Sorry if this is tmi but I thought since I was asking for you story I'd tell you mine in a sense. I also have some completely unqualified armchair psychology takes on miss t if you're interested in hearing them. They're probably not "hot takes" or something someone somewhere hasn't already said about her but this was already too long for me to dump them on you unasked.
Hope you have a great day! X
I started fangirling her in 2016 when the whole snakegate thing happened. With reputation especially, when she wrote those monologues about her being comfortable being her ownself at the end of her 20s and wanting a normal life and privacy outside media scrutiny. Her talking about how she used her "taylor swift sqaud" to heal her past insecurities not knowing how it could affect someone who still doesn’t have that type of friendgroup, her deciding to keep her relationship private instead of making it a circus for the media. You know, you could see the personality growth in her at that time. To me she really felt like a very matured person.
Even though there were still lots of things (that you talked about) used to make me very uncomfortable, like that ginny and georgia tweet and her posting that black image of blm trend with THIRTEEN HEART EMOJIS (so embarrassing and weird?)
Moreover, I never liked any of her self directed music videos. Like those were so bland and boring and never fit with the music. But people still praising her and giving her vmas and shits was just a confirmation that nobody cares about art these days, they only want the clout from her name. Her music is also very boring. She writes about the same events in thousand different songs to milk the shit out of it. Like girl please move on!
But what made me actually unstan her was the whole shitshow she put up after her breakup with Joe. The person she talked so highly about in her whole discography was now a villain too. She went on a brought up a whole hate trend on Joe by making her friends unfollow him publicly.
SHE IS THE ONE WHO INSTIGATED THE WHOLE JOE ALWYN HATRED TREND.
You know no matter whatever someone does (his only fault was not wanting to marry her lol), nobody deserves to go through this type of media harassment. But Joe did. Joe is the person who saved her when she was having this kind of media treatment but later on SHE instigated the same type of hatred for him. That just proves how terrible she is as a human being. And not to forget she immediately started dating a vile, racist, islamophobe, bigot, piece of shit and said that was the best time of her life. She didn’t even acknowledge her wrong in the relationship on her breakup announcement (she acted unbrothered). She used Ice Spice to cover up her mess. I mean how many more reasons did i need after that?
Now in her travis era, she switched completely 180° saying being public is her real personality. She also brought back her squad pap walks. She is really feeding into the narrative that Joe kept her in basement. So like the MAIN thing that made me fall in love with her in the first place was all along a lie? She never matured? She never wanted to have privacy? She never valued a normal life? Her personality growth really went downhill to a shithole.
But after being so invested in her for 7 years, I can tell you that a breakdown is coming very soon and I will not feel bad for it at all!
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I know you already gave us your thoughts about Eddsworld Legacy, but what do you think about Eddsworld Beyond for now?
To be completely honest, I'm really on the fence with beyond. They're in like this weird fluctuating state, and to me that comes off like them not knowing what they're doing
Sometimes we'll get something hilarious, but more often than not beyond feels awkard and rushed. Stilted is the best word i think. (I'm also just really not a fan of jons animation for the show, which doesn't help at all. His EW style has always felt extremely flat to me ,sorry jon)
More options down below vv
Stuff usually feel unfinished or rushed somehow , ex surf n turf. Part one was probably the most uncomfortable episodes we've gotten so far. you could've easily rearranged things so that the intro of them arriving at the beach was at the beginning of part two, and have it be a single episode. It feels like filler before the actual plot starts next episode
It kinda feels like they're trying to imitate every aspect of Edds work, and it's giving me like. Skinwalker vibes. I get it, Edd made little short animtions with random new characters occasionally. But when a full team makes one with a new character, ties an ad read to it, then never touches that character again, it feels confusing and out of place. IDK i just feel like you loose that ability to just make whatever you want when you put together a team, even if its a small indie group. Maybe im wrong there but the point is i thouht the birds and the bees was dumb
I'll keep my option on the team brief. I don't hate anyone on the team nor do i think any of them are Bad People, but there's definitely been a lot of questionable behavior that has come from these guys. Example, I've always been offput by their relationship with Tord’s characters. In the website they put this:
Yet consistently tease the fans with his existence (ex the caveman episode, tori being canonized, his picture clearly torn out in SnT1, having an entire month of tord merch) Either address the situation or don't, guys. You can't sarcastically be like "oh get over it" when YOU'RE the ones that keep bringing him back. You didn't even answer the question dude, no wonder so many kids beg for his return
I guess I can't be THAT pissed when the money all went to charity, but it still just feels inherently weird and disrespectful to merchandise this character after his creator removed him nearly 15 years ago. Atleast Tomska allegedly asked permission and had good intentions. This feels like they (beyond) just don't give a fuck. If any team members are reading this I'm BEGGING YOU: STOP LETTING THEM BRING BACK TORD . THEY CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT . Tord Larsson deserves to be left alone, and to stop getting connected to this show in his past.
Despite everything, I still want to support the team. I'll be honest, SnT2 gave me hope for the series I haven't had in quite a while. It wasn't the greatest, but it was a step upwards. And I'd love to see them keep going up ! Genuinely, I would love nothing more than to see these guys succeed in recreating what made the show good initially. Eddsworld changed my life, so really its incredible to see it still kicking around today. Even if it's in this weird, amorphous glob state. They just need to figure out what the hell they're doing
TLDR: the current state of the show is kinda rough, the team feels discombobulated and has made some weird decisions, however I still have hope that they can make this into something amazing someday
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Happy Hifuumo Friday everyone!
I'm sorry this is late by a day. The week has been kind of rough on me once again. Nothing in particular happened after the party (Which was fantastic and I'd rather talk about that) but depression is what it is.
It was really nice getting to see people I have been missing for what has to be half a decade now? Not one of them had seen me since I transitioned, since they live pretty far away. This party especially is one I have been missing since the last time I was there.
My uncle's ranch is a place that I associated with some really good memories. Ones with my dad in them. I haven't heard much from that side of the family for that reason in fact; Their relationships were with him, less so than with me and my mom.
And I know it's been painful for them to reach out and try to talk to her. Even if they were very happy to see us (Many of them remarked that they had never seen me as happy as I am now, which was really nice)
But another uncle of mine has been the only one to really do so.
My feelings about him are complicated. He was a 'bad man' for many years. He's also the only person who really reaches out to my mom and talked to her.
And he's changed a lot. So much I can't believe it.
He apologized to me about the things he had done and he's a totally different person now. The first thing he did when he saw me was give me a family heirloom that he had held onto for 34 years because he didn't know anyone else better to give it to.
It's a very nice necklace. I won't be sharing pictures of it here, but it was something he got for his mother before she had died and she gave it back to him. It's just a gold 'P' with a star on it. My deadname was borrowed from hers, my name still has the 'P' initial.
It was a very sweet gift. It's sitting in its old box on my desk right now. Being at a party like this, even if it was in a familiar place, was a lot. Being able to sit there with my uncle for hours and talk and make plans (We'll go to the zoo) really helped keep me.
Honestly, I didn't intend for this post to be so solemn on what was a very happy occasion, but it was something that couldn't leave my mind nonetheless, both during the party and after as I've typed away at this for the past few days.
I've always been depressed, it's been more of a struggle to deal with it recently. Probably because It's coming up 6 years now of him being gone from my life when the 29th rolls around. (So...a week from now. Sorry if I don't do anything next week)
It's just hard to ignore. It's messing with my mindset and how I handle things.
I had a good time. I'll be having even more of one next month. I should worry about that instead of brooding, shouldn't I?
I love you all, I hope you have a good day/night!
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Olsen II
Part 16 of On The Inside With Elizabeth Olsen
Word Count: ~6.5K
masterlist
⚠️ SPOILERS FOR MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS ⚠️
Y/N POV
I grumble myself awake and shut off my 5am alarm.
I haven't woken up this early in years but today, Monday, is special. It's Liz's last week in London! So I wanted to send her a special text this morning.
Yes, it's now been three weeks since Liz and I made our relationship official! Yes, I know we immediately became girlfriends after saying we'd take things slow. Oh well.
The only people that know are Max, James, Sam, Robbie, Ash, and MK. I probably would've told my mom by now if our relationship had been in a better place.
Less than a week ago, I finally called her back after dodging her calls, and the call went exactly how I predicted.
It started with the usual catching up on life kind of bullshit, and that was great before it devolved into a series of "why aren't you going back to school?" "Do you honestly think you can be happy and successful without a degree?" "You're way too pretty and smart. I'd hate to see you waste the opportunities I gave you." Then, money this and money that.
So it's a safe bet I won't be making calls home soon. Don't get me wrong. I love my mom. I do! But it's just... I wish we had the relationship we used to have. Yes, she did a great job as a mom throughout my life but after what my dad did to the two of us... you know it's not the same as it was.
Anyways, the rest of the world has yet to know about Liz and I, of course, but that hasn't changed anything. The media has slowed down on the articles about MK and her secret lover. I keep getting photographed but less and less. Not that it was a lot, to begin with, but I'm thankful not to have random people take pictures of me.
I know this will change once Liz and I are out. But for now, I'm enjoying it.
Liz and I have been FaceTiming or attempting to FaceTime every night after 5pm my time. We tried 4pm for a while, but that left me virtually no time to get home after work. We still have some days where Liz can't call, but we still text!
Our calls tend to mostly be about my days, my friends, plans for what to do when Liz gets back, and more. I ask Liz about her day, but she doesn't spill much. Nothing cagey, just in a same old same old kind of way.
She gives me the vaguest details about the movie. A part of me wants to know what's going to happen in the film so bad, but Liz tells me it'll spoil the MCU, and she's right because, of course, she's right. Plus, she warns me that Kevin Feige has eyes and ears everywhere. You would think this guy is a mob boss or something.
We also talk about her sisters. Liz has started trying to talk to them on a weekly basis, although, accordingly to Liz, MK has been more MIA lately.
I know why.
A couple of days after MK left my place, I told Liz how MK got Naomi to sign the papers. To say Liz was displeased would be an understatement.
I don't know how I did it, but I got Liz not to hulk out at her sister and to let me handle the situation. But the truth behind that is... MK technically hasn't spoken to me since that day.
That's not to say I haven't tried. I texted MK the night she left.
I told her that I've grown fond of the person she is. She's caring, kind, and nothing but supportive. I apologized for getting mad at her. I told her that I support her and genuinely want what is best for her. I let her know that I will be here for her no matter what because I know she will be here for me.
Or at least, I hope.
I also texted her that I love her as well. I love the person she is.
That does not mean I love her as more than a friend.
She read all those texts but hasn't responded to me personally. She texts in the group chat with Ash and myself, but it's never directly to me.
Since returning to LA, Ash has seemed to notice that something is off. We've briefly talked a couple of times, but I can't bring myself to tell anyone the true reason. I feel like Ash knows but is letting it be.
In other news, James, Max's brother, finally left after another week of mooching off his sister. Just kidding but for real, he up and left for California. I know Max has some family out there, but I'm not sure if James went to them or not. But for the next two days after he landed, every single picture he posted included #JamesGoesWest.
I knew he was teasing because of Liz's and mines relationship. Speaking more on that! I went back and finished Wind River. I legit had to skip through that one scene. But overall, I loved the movie! Men are gross, and Liz played her role perfectly. The chemistry she had with Jeremy Renner was incredible. I'd like to see them do more together.
But if we're talking natural chemistry, all I can say is... I never wanted to be Aubrey Plaza more in my life than during the press tour of Ingrid Goes West. Yes, I've seen the YouTube videos, interviews, and photo shoots. I now know I was never Liz's "first." I mean, yes, I knew that already from the night Liz and I had at her place, but now I'm full-on convinced her and Aubrey were more than friends at some point.
Liz knows I watched those two movie and will be watching all of her MCU movies, but she's begged me not to watch a film she did called Oldboy. I looked up the synopsis, and it seems interesting, but Liz is adamant about me not seeing it.
Speaking of the MCU and their movies, this week is finally Avengers week! Out of everything I watched, Captain America and Iron Man 2 are my favorites. Captain America because I loved the story and Bucky so much. And Iron Man 2 for... Natasha. I'm sorry, but I never wanted to be a heavy-set white man more than when she took down Happy.
Lizard knows of my newfound obsession with Scarlett Johansson, and let's just say we starting banning a few words. The first time I mentioned how sexy I thought Natasha looked, I could instantly tell something had shifted. Liz didn't say anything at first. She just sat quietly on the other side of the phone, watching me like I was her prey. She had her jaw clenched so tight I thought teeth were going to break, and then out of the blue, Liz was tired and had to get to bed.
The call ended shortly after that leaving me confused until my dumb brain realized why. I called her back and made it up to her in a memorable way.
A few words that aren't banned are "Mommy." "Yes." & "Please." Liz and I have done a fantastic job trading those off.
Sam is good! Max and I have gone out with her and her friends a couple of times, nothing too crazy, thankfully. Max and I have also started exercising together again. Not daily, but we've been trying for three times a week. It's usually before work, but other times it's once Liz and I finish FaceTiming.
Work is still good. Alec is good. All in all, everything is going well. Liz wraps filming this Friday, so I can't wait to have her in my arms!
Speaking of which, I have to text her.
Liz POV
It's now been three weeks since Y/N and I made our relationship official! Yes, I know we immediately became girlfriends after saying we'd take things slow. Oh well.
I love Y/N so fucking much, but FaceTiming every night gets tiring. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing her cute freckled face, but there are times when I'm just so exhausted from shooting that I can't bring myself to answer a FaceTime call. But luckily for me, I have an understanding and supportive girlfriend.
Girlfriend. That's a word I don't think I will get tired of saying.
Speaking on that, I told my girlfriend that filming wraps on Friday. It doesn't. It wraps today. I plan on flying out first thing tomorrow morning to surprise her! Max already knows and plans on picking me up from the airport. I got her number from MK. I know, ooh, sneaky, but it's the things you do for love.
I'm incredibly excited to see how the world reacts to this movie. I acted my heart out, and I know when I walk on set today, I'm going to cry. I've always finished these movies not knowing what was next for Wanda, but when Sam yells "cut" for the final time, I know it will feel like the last time.
I've been talking to my sisters about the motions I've been going through, and Ash has been kind enough to try and speak to me about it. Meanwhile, MK can barely get a sentence together. I'm not mad at her for what she did with Naomi. I mean, yes, I was. But not anymore, so I don't know why she's being weird about us.
In addition to my sisters, I have also been texting someone else. Someone that knows about Y/N. But someone that Y/N doesn't know about herself.
Wanda's other half. Actor for the Vision. Mr. Paul Bettany.
I missed him. I missed being on set with him. I missed hearing him laugh at the stupid things I'd say. I missed hearing him talk about his wife non-stop. He's truly a lifelong friend that I'm so thankful to have met at such a crucial moment in my life.
That's a feeling that I have for Y/N. She came to me at just the right moment. I know that I won't let her go.
Over the course of filming, Paul and I would send check-in texts here and there, but our conversations didn't become something quite serious until the articles about me leaving the Doctor Strange set came out. That's when Paul said he knew something was wrong. Since I'm never one to "create drama" or "be a total bitch."
Paul texted me that Easter Sunday. A day before, I met Y/N. Paul was actually the first one to know the news about Robbie and I. He loves Robbie, so for him to hear everything broke him a little, but Paul helped me as much as he could. Or as much as I was willing to let him. He promised that everything we discussed would stay between us because we all know. Snitches end up in ditches!
Paul was also the one to tell me to get my shit together and to send coffee and treats to the NY Marvel team if I wanted to keep people happy.
I guess I have Paul to thank for Y/N. Oh God, I can't let that get to his head.
Speaking of Paul and Vision. My Coffee Girl has been continuing her journey of watching the MCU. I think tonight is Avengers night. I think she has some hope I'm going to show up in this one, but sadly I don't. I'm sure Y/N won't really mind since she has Scarlett and her Black Widow ass to look at all movie.
I know that's not nice and unfair to Scarlett, but I don't like Y/N having her eyes on someone else.
I made that very clear the other night.
Over the last couple of weeks, in addition to filming, FaceTiming, and keeping me and my girlfriend satisfied, I started emptying out the Richmond house. Like I did with my trailer, I started small but quickly moved on to bigger things.
I sent Robbie back a lot of the things he left behind. I donated some of my stuff but kept the tiniest of things that remind me of the good times I had while here. After today the house will no longer be ours. That is if I actually did remember to grab everything?
Uh, speaking of Robbie. He's doing so well, and I'm so proud of him. He's been doing AA meetings once a week. Every week I send him a text just letting him know that he's in my thoughts, and I wish him luck. He sends me a text back, basically saying the same thing.
Thankfully the media isn't dragging Robbie through the mud just because he's trying to better his life. I think back to how they treated my sisters, and it makes me sick. If I could have the opposite for Robbie, I'll do it.
Robbie doesn't ask about Y/N; instead, he asks me, "are you happy?" The answer has always been "yes." Robbie's response is always the same "then I'm happy."
I got lucky with an ex like him, huh?
It's almost 10am, and I finally have the finishing touches to my look for today's scene. 838 Wanda comforting Darkhold Scarlet Witch. How fitting that my last day is me letting myself know that it's going to be okay. That our boys will be okay.
Oh, I'm getting depressed just thinking about it.
"Lizzie, you ready?" A member of the makeup team looks me over and waits for my response. I nod and go to get up before my phone stops me. I take a quick glance. Is that really who I think it is?
"Just give me a minute." I turn to the crew they nod, heading out of my trailer.
Y/N POV
Annnnddd sent! I smile down at my phone. The text wasn't anything too crazy special. Let's not forget I just woke up.
The text was just myself reminding Liz that I'm lucky to have her. That I'm so thankful to have someone caring and loving chose me to be the person that they love. That someone with her wits and beauty makes me smile and feel the support that I feel. And I can't wait to be able to hold her and to kiss that gorgeous face. To be able to physically look into her eyes. The eyes that make me smile. The eyes that make me feel safe. The eyes that are the literal definition of: If looks could kill.
I could've gone on and on with my text, but I have to save something for when she's here at the end of the week. I close my phone out, knowing she'll probably read it when she gets back from filming, meaning I can go back to sleep before getting up for my shift later today.
I turn over and close my eyes. Letting tiredness take me over once ag-
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
I peek one of my eyes open as I grab my phone. It can't be Liz. She should be- Oh! It is Liz! She's calling me! I clear my throat and answer the phone.
"Hello?"
Liz POV
"Just who do you think you are, Ms. Y/N Y/L/N! Sending a cute ass text like that. You're supposed to be sleeping!"
Y/N: "You're supposed to be filming!"
She fires back in that voice that's just so sexy in the early morning.
"I was about to step out of my trailer when my girlfriend decided to send me the most simp-filled text ever."
I can practically hear her eyes rolling.
"Why aren't you asleep right now."
Y: "I set an alarm to text you. Since I know it's your last week of filming, I just wanted to try and make it extra special for you."
My heart.
I move around the trailer like a teenager on the phone with their first crush.
Y: "I mean, if you don't like it-"
"Stop! You know I love it!" There's a pause. "Are you going to do this for every film I do?" Y/N's laugh fills my ears.
Y: "Hell yeah. I'd give you the world if I could."
"You already did that."
I hear Y/N yawn before asking, "what do you mean?"
"Because you're my world!"
Y/N POV
This fucking cheese ball, I swear. I roll my eyes again.
"I think I hear Mr. Raimi calling you to set Olsen. I wouldn't want to get in trouble or anything."
Liz lets out a small laugh.
Liz: "Oh, weird, I don't hear him?"
Y: "Hmm, that's so weird. What's happening? Hearing loss at your age already, Liz?"
I know her jaw dropped.
L: "Okay, wow fuck you, Y/L/N."
"You wish, Liz!"
L: "You know wh- one sec."
I hear Liz pulls her phone away from her ear as a series of knocks are happening nearby her. They must need her on set.
I don't know who she's talking to, but she assures them she'll be right out.
L: "Hey babe, I gotta go."
"I figured. Have a great day today! Can I call you on my break? Oh, and I can't wait to see you at the end of this week!"
L: "Of course, and I can't either!" I can practically picture her biting her thumbnail as she says this: "I love you, Y/N."
"I love you too, Lizard! Now go be a movie star!"
Liz giggles as she ends the call. Leaving me awake, alone, and horny?
No? Yes? I don't know.
I flip over onto my stomach and groan into my pillow. I really don't want to be up already. After a minute of feeling my body wake up, I decide to fuck it.
I throw my comforter off my body and go into my bathroom. I flick on the light and look at myself in the mirror. I think about when I did this not so long ago. I stared at myself before my date with Liz. It was the first time I looked at my own face with love instead of disgust. I do the same thing now. I smile at the person looking back at me.
I reach down and pull my toothbrush from its holder. Put a small glob of toothpaste, rinse and get to the brushing. Morning breath is one of my least favorite things. Or at least it quickly has been. Okay, I don't want breath to ever smell in the presence of Liz, okay? I'd die.
After my morning routine, I slip off my underwear and oversized t-shirt in favor of a classic workout outfit. Nothing crazy this morning, just a morning jog. It's now approaching 5:30, so it should still be quiet outside.
I reach my front door and drop down to tie on my old sneakers. They're a pair that I've had for years. I don't even remember how I got them or who gave them to me, but they probably know more about me than I do about myself.
Okay, now I sound crazy—time to run. I put my AirPods in, queue up whatever playlist Spotify curated for me and leave my place.
Liz POV
I did it! "That's a wrap on Elizabeth Olsen!" Sam Raimi yells into a bullhorn earning applause from the cast and crew that surround us.
I clap along, stopping whenever I feel a tear start to escape my eyes. Cumberbatch wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into a side hug before whispering into the top of my head, earning a smile and a laugh from me.
Sam walks up to me, and I instantly find myself wrapped up into a hug. I almost feel my eyes betray me, but I stop the dam from breaking. Sam leans into me and asks, "do you want to say a few words?"
This is something I haven't really ever done. Usually, I'm in such a considerable ensemble of a movie that who cares what the 9th billed person has to say, but this is my movie. So why not?
I nod at Sam and grab the bullhorn.
"First off, I'd just like to say thank you to everyone here. All of you truly have made this experience so beautiful and lovely." I bite my lower lip before continuing.
"When we were about to go back to finishing WandaVision, I was pitched the actual story of the Doctor Strange sequel, and I was shocked!" I throw my arms out in a charismatic manner. "No one told me that their plan for me was to be the villain!" This earns a few laughs from the crew and myself. "You know? But it's like yeah! Why does Wanda have to settle for being good when all that she wants is something that seems so small and simple, which is for her to be with her kids."
I look over at Sam, smiling. He's a real Wanda stan this man. He and I had so much fun bouncing ideas off one another and relishing in the character of Wanda.
"But you know I love Wanda Maximoff, and I feel honored to have played her for the last 7 to 8 years and to collaborate with such kind and caring people. I truly do." I feel a tear slip out and run down my cheek. "And if this is the end for her, then I'm glad that... that I gave it my all." I want to say more, but I can feel my throat choking back tears. Plus, when I look up, it's all of these people watching me. "So thank you. Thank you all!" I frown to hold back my emotions as Sam wraps me into another hug. He gently takes the bullhorn from me and announces, "give it up for our witch, everybody!" Earning another wave of claps.
Y/N POV
It's now just past 9am for me as I enter our coffee shop. Busy. It's finally starting to heat up around here, which means it's time for all the cool kids and soccer moms to start ordering frozen drinks. My least favorite. It's not hard to make. It's just annoying.
I smile once I see the two people I'm going to work with. Sam and Alec. Sam greets me as I put my stuff into the back. "I promise you it was not this busy until like 20 minutes ago." I shrug. "Happens." Sam noticed. "You good?" We make our way back to the front employee area so I can clock in. "Yeah, just tired. I woke up super early and decided to get a run in." "Ew." "Trust me, I know." I scoot past Alec and clock in. I say hi to him, but he awkwardly avoids me. Okay weird.
"Excuse me?" A customer knocks me from my own brain. Male. He has to be in his late thirties with tattoos down his arms. "Hello, sir. What can we get started for you?" The man looks at the boards stationed above and behind me. "What kind of frozen drinks do you have?" Yep, it's going to be a long day. I must've made a face because I can hear Sam laugh in my direction.
Liz POV
I sigh after getting my suitcase settled into my hotel room for the night. After leaving the sound stages today, I made my way to Richmond to do one last look-over of the house. Go figure; nothing was left for me to take or do. So mark another one for overthinking and having anxiety. But eh, oh well.
It's now just after 6pm for me. If she hasn't had her break, my Coffee Girl will have one soon - speak of the Devil! As if it's her superpower, she is now FaceTiming me.
I throw my back onto the bed and answer my phone.
She's walking to the back room of the shop. She sits in the same place every time we talk on her break. I think it's adorable. I think she's really cute. And by cute, I mean hot.
Okay, dial it back, Lizzie.
She has the camera below her right now, so I'm looking up to her neck. It looks like she has a coffee ground stained onto her neck. How she did that, I have no idea. I smile as I look at it. Imagine how long it's been there. My eyes move down her throat, and I stop at every tiny freckle and mole I see.
"Whatcha doing, love?" Oh shit, just because I can't see her doesn't mean she can't see me.
"Looking at my love!" "Oh yeah?" She moves the camera up, so I can see her beautiful face as she sits down. My girlfriend smiles back at me before her face becomes horrified. "Oh my God!" The alarms in my brain start going off. "What? What's wrong!" She begins wiping at her neck. "Why did you not tell me that was there!" Oh my gosh. Really Y/N? "I just saw that! Besides, I thought it was cute." I flare my eyebrows up, causing her to do it back.
"So, how was today?" She starts. The gears start moving. I really want to tell Y/N all about the end of the shoot, but that'll ruin my surprise. Okay, quick, Liz think.
"It was good! Really good! But I'm not giving you anything, and you know this!" She rolls her eyes. "I know. I just can't wait."
"Isn't Avengers tonight?" I ask, slightly changing the topic. "Tomorrow night. Max is busy tonight. I think it's with Flirty, but I'm not sure. She's been being a little cagey lately." Y/N shrugs and looks up to something. Maybe one of her co-workers. "What will you do tonight?" I ask with a slight frown. "Probably watch one of your movies." She states matter of factly and looks down, grinning before taking a sip of her tea. Wait tea? She never drinks tea.
"Tea?!" She looks at me wide-eyed and embarrassed. "Yeah..." "Since when are you a tea drinker?" "Since I watched a YouTube video about how Elizabeth Olsen loves tea and how she has a whole cabinet dedicated to tea packets." I blush. I love and hate that she watches videos of me because it's the cutest thing ever, but I'm afraid she'll find a video of me doing something dumb and judge me. I know she wouldn't, but a girl can stress, can't she?
"Liz." She pulls me out of my small spiral. "Hmm?" "You know I'm only doing it because I love you. And I want to love the things you love." I smile. "I know." I scrunch my nose up at her. Now she blushes and shakes her head. "What you thinking about?" "Just how lucky I am." She makes sure her eyes are on me. "I meant my text this morning. Every word." "I know, baby."
Now I'm the one watching her, getting lost in thought. We sit admiring each other. Eyes filled with admiration. "My turn, Lizard. Whatcha thinking about?" I use to hate the nickname Lizard, but when she says it, it makes me feel safe. "Tomorrow." "Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?" My body tenses up. Oh shit. I didn't mean to say that! What's tomorrow? Uhhh...
Before I can even come up with a horrible lie, Y/N unknowingly saves me. "Let me guess, secret marvel stuff?" I nod. "You got it, Y/L/N." "Ugh, boorrinnggg."
She dramatically sings out. "You'll just have it wait and see." "Yeah yeah." She smiles at me before looking up at her phone. I know she's checking the time. Before she frowns, I do. I know what this means.
"Liz, come on." What?" "I see you pouting." Well, duh, I want you off the clock, Y/N. "Can't you just quit?" Y/N raises an eyebrow to me. "After the phone call, I just had with my mom?"
I'm not asking her to quit, but yes leaving her job would almost certainly make her mom explode. Yeah, Y/N told me everything that happened. That was a rough night for her.
"You're right." "Always am." I scoff. "Not true. You know it goes me, Max, and then you." She puts a hand over her heart and gasps. "Betrayed."
"Y/N, you almost don- oh, sorry." Y/N looks up to the person talking to her. Sounds like Sam? I've only ever overheard Sam, never met her. Y/N said she knows about us and has kept her lifelong mission to protect our secret. She must've noticed Y/N was on the phone still. "Just one second."
Y/N looks back down at me. "I know. I know." I exhale out, not wanting her to go. "Don't worry, love. I'll text you when I get home, okay?" "Okay" "Just a couple more days, and then I finally have you in my arms again," I smirk. "You have no idea."
"Later, Liz!"
"See you soon, Y/N!"
She blows me a kiss before hanging up. I hold my hand with the caught kiss still in it.
"I love you, Coffee Girl."
Y/N POV
"Was that who I think it was?" Sam asks me as I come back to the bare-bones shop. I look at her. "Always is." "Wow." I can see her getting lost in thought, and she looks at me before she's completely gone. "Sorry." "With you? I'm used to it."
We both start to clean behind the bar while Alec takes care of the dining area. "When do you think you'll go public?" Sam asks, just quiet enough for only us to hear it. "Not for a while," I answer in the same manner. "Why are tabloids looking for a scoop?" I raise my eyebrow at her just to watch the panic in her eyes.
"Oh my god Y/N! No, I was just genuinely asking! I'm sorry for making you thin-" "Sam. Sam! I'm just kidding. I'm sorry." I start laughing. I know I shouldn't, but she makes it fun and easy. Sam catches her breath. "I should leak it after that." She grumbles. I walk over to her and pull her into a side hug. "I'm sorry, blueberry." "I still hate that name." "No, you don't," I say, letting go of her. I don't think she meant for me to hear it, but she mumbles, "No, I don't."
_
I text Liz letting her know that I should be home within the hour. I'm literally right outside my building, but I'm giving myself enough time to take a shower and get dressed comfy cozy before I round up whatever I can for dinner. Liz promised me to take me grocery shopping and to cook for me, so I'm honestly holding out for that.
I enter my apartment and smile at the state of it. Over the course of the weeks, I've gotten in a couple of movie posters and art from Etsy of things that I forgot I loved. Plus, I got some journals to start writing in again. It's looking more like home. All that's missing is some finishing touches.
I skip through my place and peel off todays clothes, tossing them into my dirty hamper. I grab a set of sweats to wear after my shower and charge into the bathroom. As I let the hot water get the bathroom just right, I play on my phone, watching TikTok. After two minutes, I close the app out and load some music to blast while I get myself clean.
_
As soon as I wrap my large green towel around me, I check my phone after I heard it go off in the shower. I smile at the sight of Liz but frown as I read her text.
"Yay! Glad, you made it home, love.
So I'm not going to beat around the bush, Y/N. I just got informed that I have to go extra early tomorrow. Since it's the last week, I want to do it and get this done, so is it okay if we don't call tonight? I'm probably going to be going to bed soon, but I won't sleep until I get a text from you. I'm sorry, my love. 💛"
It's just a couple of more days, Y/N. You got this. Be a supportive girlfriend.
I text Liz back, saying that it's okay and that I love her so much and for her to please call me in the morning so I can hear her angelic voice.
_
I huff at how skim my fridge is looking. I decide to snack on a bowl of grapes before finding myself in front of my tv. I open my notes app and look at a list I made recently. Called: 🎥 My little star 💫
It's a list of all of Liz's movies, excluding the MCU. Not knowing what to watch, I text Max knowing she'll know what's good to watch.
Mad ❤️🔥 Max
Today 4:31 PM
Godzilla or Silent House?
I close out our texts and open an app called JustWatch. It's an app where you can search for any movie you want and see what platform it's on. It's great for someone like me who is catching up on a lot of movies. It looks like Godzilla is on Netflix, while the other movie I'd have to rent. This makes my choice a little easier.
I text Max back, letting her know I decided, and she sends me a thumbs up. Yeah, she's busy. She only uses emojis when her hands are occupied.
I open Netflix on my tv, and after a quick search, I see him, that giant Lizard. Hey Lizard! My lizard's in a lizard movie! I chuckle to myself and go to play the movie before my phone buzzes.
I look down expecting Liz again, but to my shock, it's Mary-Kate. The breath that I took sent a green grape flying to the back of my throat, causing me to stand up, gasping for air as I managed to swallow the whole ass grape. "Jesus fucking Christ!" I yell out, gripping my neck.
After collecting myself, I bring myself back to my phone to open and look at the text that nearly killed me.
"Hey. Can we talk?"
Vague. Of course.
I let the message sit there as I think about the last couple of weeks.
I text her.
"Yes. Of course. My place?"
She agrees and tells me she'll be around in the next half hour. Someone's eager! Okay, sorry, not the time.
I should text Liz, but she has an early start tomorrow, and I don't want to stress her out. Plus. I want to hear what MK has to say before I do anything. I put my phone down and continue the movie. I need a distraction.
_
Okay, what the fuck? Where's my girl? I saw her once so far, and that's it?
A knock comes to my door just in time. I let out a frustrated sigh and pause the movie. I hop up, suspecting who it is, and open the door. Yep, it's MK.
"Hey," I told myself, I'd treat her like a friend and like nothing happened. I usher for her to come in, and she follows me. I close the door behind us. I catch her eyes and take a look at my tv.
I see a smile creep onto her face. "What's that look for?" I ask in a teasing tone. "Just... you're a simp now." She points to the tv, causing us to both laugh, breaking the tension around us. "Yeah, I am." I agree.
"Do you need a drink or anything? Water? Tea?"
"Tea? You don't drink tea." "It's new." I simply state as I walk into the kitchen to fill up a cup of water. "Maybe next time." Oh, so there is going to be a next time!? So friends, maybe?
I come back and place the water in front of her. She reaches over and takes a sip as I sit on the other end of the couch. I can see how nervous she is just in her hands. She keeps fidgeting and wiping them off. I don't know if I should do this, but...
I scoot myself closer to her and take her hands into my own. "It's okay." MK shakes her head at me. "No, it's not. I almost ruined everything." "MK, no, you didn't." "Y/N, I went behind your back and-" "And you did something great for Liz and me. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. I just hate the thought of anyone I know ever contacting her. I just didn't want anything to happen to you." MK goes quiet as I continue running my thumbs over her knuckles.
"Thank you," I whisper out to her. "I missed you," I add on. I watch MK's eyes look up before she darts them away, looking around the room. She's trying. "You added some things." I look around with her. "Yeah. It was missing some things."
I feel her eyes back on me, so I turn my head to face her. "I missed you too." I smile to her, and she returns one back. "Can I hug you?" She asks me. "Come here." I open my arms up to her, and she rushes in. She squeezes me tight, and I know it's all her worries, and apologizes leaving her body. "Thank you." She says into my neck.
"You're always welcome."
We pull apart from one another and just sit hand in hand. "Do you have plans tonight?" I ask, not knowing what to do now. "I thought this conversation was going to go on a lot longer, so no, I don't." She laughs. "Take out?" I suggest.
MK bites her lip and nods. "I'd like that." I go to get up, but she stops me. "Friends?" She asks. I give her a look because I thought the answer was obvious. "Friends." I give her a quick hug. "How about you pick the food tonight since we're at my place," I suggest. "Whatever I want?" "As long as it's not poisoned." "Damn it," She giggles as I get up and make myself tea.
As I finish up my tea, a series of knocks interrupts the calm silence MK, and I had going.
"Am I crazy, or is that the food?" "Not me." MK looks at me with a worried look. That's a little concerning.
I walk up to the door. "Hello?"
I get a muffled "hello, Y/N!" back.
Fuck I know that voice.
MK must have noticed my dejected face and body language. "Who's that?" "You'll see." I watch her give me a confused look before holding my hand up, telling her it'll be okay. I hope.
I open the door, and in the most monotone voice I can manage, I speak up. "Hello, mother."
Part 17
#mom?#mommy?#y/n#mary kate#elizabeth olsen#fanfic#lizzie olsen#elizabeth olsen x reader#otiweo#elizabeth chase olsen#wanda maximoff#food#hungry#MK#drama#unneeded drama#total drama#mothers#mom#elizabeth olsen x y/n#elizabeth olsen x you#elizabeth olsen imagine#lizzie x y/n#lizzie olsen flirting#multiverse of madness#dsmom#scarlet witch#wandavision
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That post you just reblogged made me sob, wtf was that. Anyway I can’t stand Mary in the later seasons. She is super uncaring and callous towards the boys, which is just so hard to imagine because that is not how I pictured her at all. Ooof, I always thought she’d love the shit out of them. I mean, who wouldn’t? Your kids gave up everything up to avenge you, literal years of their lives. That just breaks my heart. Honestly, I just pretend Mary coming back never happened. Jody was a better parent figure? What is up with that?
Omg yeah, so good. Hurts in the best way.
I think my thoughts on this matter deviate from yours here, and I'll put my ramblings under a cut.
I wasn't a fan of them bringing Mary back. I don't understand what the point was except that J2 wanted more time off and the writers/Show runners were too uncreative to go beyond which dead character can we bring back???
That being said, I really like the idea expressed in ameliacareful's post. I don't remember how callous I found Mary bc I've only seen S12 onward once or twice because they really lost me in S12 and I only finished to watch it all. I do kind of get it though. I mean Mary had a toddler and a baby, a husband and bam she's dead, bam she's back and her little children are grown men, living a life she never wanted for them and her husband is dead. Not to mention the time jump. I mean that alone is enough to fuck anyone up I'd think. As for loving Sam and Dean, they're not her Sam and Dean. They're grown men. She needs to get to know them first. Knowing someone wanted to avenge you is not a sufficient basis for love I think, because you love someone because of all their bits not just one thing. And Mary never wanted them to go on the revenge hunting train to begin with so she was probably more horrified than anything. I would have been. My beloved tiny babies growing up into giant hardened hunters? Ouch. Also when Mary was a parent before she died, she tucked her kids into bed, made them sandwiches, changed Sam's diapers and put bandaids on Dean's scratches and read them stories. She can't do any of that with Sam and Dean. She thought she'd spend her next 20 years watching her boys grow up, making them food, helping them/herding them with their homework, driving him to little league games, comforting them when they cry, etc. I mean a parent's relationship with a young child is so different from an adult child, I don't blame Mary for not knowing how to behave with them. Also, Mary is more than just a mom. She's a whole person and reducing her to just their mom makes her a really one dimensional character. The problem was that the expectation of course was there for her to be a mom, from the boys too and the show didn't do the best job to show Mary's struggle. They tried. But then there was the whole men of letters thing. And I kind of get that maybe Mary is so confused and displaced that she goes back to something that is familiar and unconnected like hunting but again, the writing was so weak. The subject of a resurrected woman confronting her grown children is so complex and they just… didn't do it justice. And don't even get me started on her and Ketch and the brainwashing. And then they killed her again for drama. that whole story just didn't work form me at all.
As for Jody, I didn't really see her as a parent or mother figure. She's a mother hen type, sure, but I didn't see a parental relationship there. I do like her and her relationship with the boys, I just didn't see her that way. Sometimes, you just have a friend who does that caretaking, planning, worrying, mother henning thing, but it's not necessarily parental. At least that's my impression of that relationship.
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I have a lot of Byakuya-centeric BLEACH AUs, all that I've dreamt of. I thought I'd explain two of them.
Byakuya Ukitake
Sojun Kuchiki made Jushiro Ukitake promise to raise his son if anything were to happen to him. He swore, and he had no idea what would happen.
One day, a little over a hundred years ago, Sojun Kuchiki was arrested for something entirely unexpected. He killed someone. He killed someone who abused Byakuya behind his back. Given that he killed another noble, his crime wasn't overlooked in the same way as other noble murders. Sojun was sentenced to death.
The exact truth was kept from the young Byakuya, all he knew is that Sojun was gone and that Jushiro had to take over. The Kuchiki clan collapsed as Byakuya Kuchiki became Byakuya Ukitake.
Byakuya was allowed to go to the Shinō Academy by Jushiro, making friends with a beautiful woman named Hisana in the non-advanced classes. She was always sad, and Jushiro taught Byakuya to help others, so he always tried to lift her spirits. Eventually, they became Academy lovebirds. Their relationship persisted until their graduation, Byakuya making Vice-Captain of Squad 13 under his adoptive father. She joined him in the Squad to always be near him. And eventually, he asked her to marry him. She said she would, if they promised to find her lost sister.
Of course, Byakuya agreed, and they were married. Hisana was spunky and energetic, while Byakuya was calm and joyous. Being raised by Jushiro Ukitake and Shunsui Kyoraku, he smiled a lot and treated others with kindness, but was still quite quiet and soft spoken. 30 years ago, Ginrei Kuchiki passed away. Jushiro suggested Byakuya to fill that spot left by his biological grandfather, and with hesitation, he went off to apply. Now that they didn't spend every moment together, both started spending even more free time researching to try and find Hisana's missing sister. And they did!
Byakuya came to the Shinō Academy on his own, approaching the young Rukia. He explained that she was his wife's little sister, and he wished to adopt her into the Ukitake family. He showed her pictures, explained many things, offered her riches. She agreed, and they walked back to the Ukitake estate. The sisters reunited with tears.
Several years passed by, and Hisana suddenly got sick. She could no longer perform her duty as a seated officer of Squad 13, and eventually she passed away with Byakuya, Jushiro, and Rukia present. Rukia took her position in Squad 13, but nobody could perform their job up to par due to grief.
Flash forward to the present day, Byakuya has been mulling over the death of his biological father for some time now. He was tired of being clueless, and came to Jushiro and demanded answers. Jushiro avoided the question at first, but quickly caved. He was executed for murder. But he was sickly, how could my father achieve such a thing? His Zanpakuto, Karetasakura. It dwindled away people's spiritual pressure in a way that could never recover fully from. It gave people the experience he lived with every day. He killed her in a slow and agonizing way. Byakuya quietly nodded, not sure what to make of it. But, he accepted this closure, giving Jushiro a hug.
Byakuya Inuzuri
The young Byakuya was tired of being told what to do, every day of his life. The Kuchiki lifestyle was miserable, and he could no longer take it. He ran away into Inuzuri, rushing to a bridge and planning to take a plummet. Just as he about leapt off, he was stopped. This terrifying, hulking monster of a man grabbed him. Byakuya was stopped by this man, and he made him explain that his home life was his reason for jumping. The man asked if Byakuya wanted another chance at a family. Byakuya agreed. Hiding the name Kuchiki, he became known as Byakuya from Inuzuri, the son of Kenpachi Zaraki.
The son of the Kuchiki family was missing, and they weren't taking it well. Sojun especially, he started going on less and less missions out of grief. Ginrei demanded Sojun and his wife have a second child, so that maybe the Kuchiki line would survive. They only ever had one before due to him and his wife's horrible health. But, they were demanded, and they gave in. His wife died during birth. But now, the Kuchiki clan had a daughter, Rukia.
Sojun begged Ginrei to let Rukia attend the Shinō Academy, hoping that doing things differently with his daughter would prevent a repeat of Byakuya. Eventually, Ginrei succeeded, and she was sent to the Academy. There, she met Renji Abarai in the advanced classes. There was some distance between them due to her being a Kuchiki, but she always tried to close the gap between them. Eventually, she joined Squad 13, and he joined Squad 5.
Renji served in Squad 5 for a while as an unseated officer, when an opening for the fourth seat of Squad 11 opened up. Renji wished to pursue greatness in hopes to feel on the same level as Rukia, so he left Aizen to apply for Squad 11's open position. He was accepted, and as he walked into the barracks, he was met with something that confused him. Two Vice-Captains. And they fought like children, even though one was a grown ass man. They introduced him before the Captain woke up, Byakuya Inuzuri and Yachiru Kusajishi. Renji chuckled, saying he was from Inuzuri too. The two bonded a little over that.
Eventually, the captain arrived. Renji watched as both his Vice-Captains cheered for his presence, and Byakuya even called him otou-san, while Yachiru called him Ken-chan. So, Kenpachi of Zaraki likes to adopt weird Rukongai kids. Good to know. Byakuya proposed a mission to Renji to help him get accustomed to the Squad 11 life. He agreed, and him and Byakuya left.
As they were walking, Renji suddenly blurted out "Are you that long lost Kuchiki son they always talk about? You look just like Vice-Captain Sojun Kuchiki." Byakuya stopped, turning to him. Renji expected this silence to be followed by frantic remarks, but Byakuya's followup... Was to laugh. He laughed hysterically. "You too?! You actually believe that shit?!" Renji was startled. "Do people ask this a lot?" "Yeah, all the fucking time! It's insane! And they won't take Zaraki Is My Dad for an answer!" "I see. Sorry for asking. A Kuchiki is my girlfriend and she said they never stop talking about their missing kid..." "You're dating a Kuchiki?! Daaaaym! You're looking UP! And I thought dating a captain made ME look like I have insane game." "You're dating a captain? Which one?" "Hm? Ah. Captain of Squad Three, Gin Ichimaru!" "Ichimaru? That the one everyone calls the creepiest man alive?" "Yep! That one!"
In truth, Byakuya had been under Zaraki's wing for so long that he forgot who he was. The name Kuchiki slipped his memory entirely, and he moved on as if nothing happened. He was constantly bothered by the Kuchiki family, who always received mockery to their face. Byakuya continues to refuse to admit to the truth, because not even he believes it. For now, he stays under Captain Zaraki, wielding his Zanpakuto, Senbonhahen. That family is quite the dangerous trio.
#rambles with miles#byakuya kuchiki#kuchiki byakuya#jushiro ukitake#ukitake jushiro#rukia kuchiki#kuchiki rukia#kenpachi zaraki#zaraki kenpachi#renji abarai#abarai renji#byahisa#byagin#ginbya#renruki#squad 6#squad 13#squad 11#bleach#bleach anime#anime#tybw#bleach tybw#bleach au#au#Hop's cringe bleach aus
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Omfg.....I am in shambles. AOTG is too good. It has that plot of invisible string with the reference in paper rings fleshed out("without all the exes.........here so tall"). Her vocals 🤯🥵🥵. How could she leave this. This makes me sure that joe also had his share of 'all too wells'. Something she hinted in willow (show me the places where the others gave you scars). And the treat me like a lady😫😫. I feel like the bathroom reference is jake(party bathroom,cry tears mascara in the bathroom,etc..) The ready for it...? reference (I forget their names now).The leaving without saying goodbye part made me think of HS(Mainly because of her AYHTDWS speeches and breakup makeup). It is also important to note that she is not jealous of his exes but she is thankful they made him who he is today. For some reason this song feels like false god sound to me. God!!!! I wanna teach you what forever feels like is such a 'I wanna brainwash you into loving me forever" .
Ps. I feel like I am going to come to your ask box again if I want to scream something . Sorryyy💕💕
i love just reading this and nodding along, and for every argument about why she left it off the record (too many love songs, she uses its themes in other songs, lover was already too long, etc), i have two counterarguments. the first is, she has never actually addressed the concept of being thankful that the other girls in his life existed, because they helped him become who he is, plus the mention of his mom!, and there is something very warm and gracious and newly grown in that concept (i've seen people say this makes it too much like thank u, next, but they're quite different to me?), and, second, IT'S A GREAT SONG!!! WHY CUT THAT GOOD OF A SONG?! AHHHHH
i still think she could've opened the album with it to set the whole scene. iftye is...fine...but the callback to rep isn't entirely necessary and it doesn't do as much for the album's whole concept. imagine starting with the gratitude and then telling the rest of the story, the bookend with daylight, with once believing love was burning red, but it's golden! envision this with me please, it makes me lose it!
there are so many parallels and references to her past experiences, as you pointed out (even to glitch and "dudes who give nothing"), and the idea of "forgetting" can tie into the experience with CH as well. definitely think crying in the bathroom and leaving without saying goodbye are allusions to those relationships you mentioned, and her processing the way they fell apart so sharply contrasted with what she feels with joe. the reason i half-joked that this song would've ended so many arguments years ago is because it gives us an even more whole picture of them, and her maturity and the love they share as partners, it gives us that peek into the fact that he's had his share of heartbreak too, AND it has killer production and amazing vocals. i've been in the TRENCHES for lover and aotg would've simply proven those points!!! that's interesting that it feels like false god to you, i wonder if it would've helped false god feel less out of place sonically to some fans? (i loooove false god btw!) her sincerity and that feeling of contentment in the song too, i just! it's very "all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing" coded too.
another thing the leaks of aotg and need did was remind me how very much i love lover and its heart and the revelations she gave us through it and its soundscape. taylor's description: "Lover is, like, completely just a barn wood floor and some ripped curtains flowing in the breeze, and fields of flowers and, you know, velvet." i feel that SO vividly in these two tracks where i might not in a couple of the songs that did make the album, and i'm curious HOW she made those decisions. (secret unpopular opinion shhh but they reminded me why i actually cherish and prefer the overall sound of lover to midnights. not at all discounting midnights' strengths as a whole, but in my heart, i'd always choose lover.)
she paints such a beautiful portrait of their love and i adore every crumb we get of it, i am a simple hopeless romantic girl! every dead-end street lead you straight to me! because things that feel like endings take you a new path! i love you more!!! 😭
i'm rambling on, but i agree with everything you said, and please don't be sorry, come and scream in excitement to me whenever you want!!! 💖💖💖
#anonymous#letterbox#it's so much it's SO MUCH#all of the girls you loved before#thrown out speeches
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Could you describe your relationship with your younger sister, Cassy, and how it has evolved since taking on the role of caregiver? How do you balance being both a sister and a mother figure to her?
"Oh very interesting question." Piper smiled at the memories. "By the time Cassie was born, I was already in my mid-20s. I guess the benefit to being a man is that when you can have sex with a junior partner you can have kids with a 26-year age gap." She smirked, shaking her head. "I mean way to be a stereotype right? The only thing better would have been if it was with his secretary. Anyway- None of that really has all that much to do with Cassie. My dad brought her home, convinced the other woman not to derail her career, and signed over her parental rights and my dad then convinced my mother to take her in as their own. Legally my mom adopted her- all very hush hush ya know?"
"But my mother wasn't even a good mom to her biological daughter- me. So I pretty much knew it would be a shit show. Before Cassie was born we were all but estranged. I'd check in once in a while and they would pretend to be proud that their daughter was a lead chef in a Michelin-star-rated restaurant. But we didn't really see each other or talk all that much. When Cassie was born though I changed that- I started coming back home at least once a month for a long weekend, sometimes more than that. When she was five I gave her one of those kiddie phones that only have my number in it so she could call me whenever she wanted. I'd call her a few times a week. But-" Her eyebrows furrowed. "She started getting....more shy. Like normal 4 or 5 year olds make alot of noise. They run around. The break things and babble to try and learn how to speak. She...she acted like she was scared to talk. I can't remember when I was her age- obviously but I remember being told to sush. I remember being told to look cute, to smile for pictures. I remember when I got a little older my mom teaching me what to say to different people. I dont know if it was to butter them up or make them feel bad...I remember getting scolded if I didn't." She seemed to get lost in her thoughts for a moment, in those very distant memories. The ones where you sort of remember but not completely.
"I knew that was happening with her. When I found out that she'd been left at home with a nanny and my mother had left on a cruise after my father died, I knew. I knew that she was hiding. That she was afraid if she said the wrong thing or was even too loud my mother would be cruel and claim that it was just the truth." She shook her head. "You cant tell a kid that they aren't really yours. Its mean. It will screw them up."
"When I came home, Cassie was so so damn happy but every night she would come into my room for the first few months to make sure I was still there. Sometimes she still does." She admitted, sadness tinging her voice instead of anger. "The first time I worked a late night the babysitter called me because Cassie was terrified I wasn't coming home and had locked herself in the closet and wouldn't come out."
Piper had to stop, pushing tears from the corner of her eyes with the heel of her hand. "We had to get over that. It took a while." Her voice was wavering and she had to take a break, breathing deeply. "I've tried to get her to talk about it, tried to get her involved with other kids at school but she's still so shy. I hope that it will get better with time. That she won't remember this like I barely do. That she'll gradually see that she has someone consistent in her life that's not going to leave her because she isn't exactly what they expected her to be. I never expected to be a parent. I never planned on it. I might - no I do sort of suck at it but at least she'll know what having a sort of maternal figure feels like you know? Even if she might hate me sometimes."
"I think thats one of the hardest parts to explain to people. We always had food, and clothes and a bed and even had money. But that doesn't mean we were loved. That doesn't mean that she wasn't neglected...I know what thats like, to even feel guilty as an adult talking about it. I'm not going to let her go through that."
#this is fucking heart breaking#I haven't actually written in depth about that in so so long#thank you!#мσяε тнεη α яιcн gιяℓ : Head cannon#sнε ωιℓℓ вε ℓσvε∂ : Cassie
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SUMMARY: Robyn deals with the fallout of her breakup with Ethan.
AUTHOR'S REQUEST: As always, I ask that you leave a comment and reblog the heck out of this story if you enjoy it. I don’t want "my baby," to be buried.
SONG CREDIT: "You're Not Sorry," by Taylor Swift.
NOTE: I finally got around to reading the "Sweetbitter," novel. In the novel, Jake's nickname for Simone is "Moni." I figured I'd incorporate that into this story.
CASTING CREDIT: Although he's only mentioned briefly in this chapter, I am introducing a new character: Frank Kessler. If this were a movie or a TV series, and if I were in charge of casting, I'd go with Dermot Mulroney. So whenever Frank is mentioned, that's who I want you to picture portraying him.
Robyn lounged in one of the arm chairs, nursing a glass of whiskey. Her mind was clouded with sorrow, not to mention alcohol, and the weight of her sadness felt unbearable. On her lap was a bag of assorted cream-filled chocolates, most of which had already been devoured. Thank goodness she was a member of the local gym, because she could only imagine how many carbs and calories she'd consume by the end of the night.
Looking over at Chloe and Sam, who were lounging on the sofa, Robyn let out a heavy sigh. "I just can't believe he did this. After all that we've been through, after all the plans we made ... how could he do this?"
Sam picked up the whiskey bottle and poured herself another shot. "Well, I'll tell you how. He's a pig! Let's face it! Men are pigs!"
"Not all men!" Chloe argued. "Will isn't."
Sam had always been skeptical of relationships, and she held a pessimistic view of the opposite sex. Rolling her eyes, she said "All right. Will is the exception, but not the rule. But most guys - especially the ones who seem decent - are pigs. They're only after one thing, and they'll do whatever it takes to get it."
Robyn let out a humorless laugh. "Well, Ethan certainly had me fooled." She shook her head in disgust. "I can't believe I fell for his lies. I suspected that he was fooling around with Madeline, but --"
Chloe gave her friend a sympathetic look. "You said it yourself: he looked you straight in the eyes and told you that he wasn't involved with Madeline. And let's be honest. He had us all fooled."
Robyn turned her gaze to her dark-haired friend. "Except for Sam. You saw right through him. Didn't you?"
"Yeah. I guess I did," Sam acknowledged with a nod.
"Why didn't you say something?"
"Honestly?" Sam hesitated for a moment, letting out a sigh. "All I had was my suspicion. I didn't have proof. And believe me! I searched for it. I waited for them to slip up, but they never did. I'm sorry, Rob."
Robyn's expression softened. "It's not your fault, Sam."
"And it's not your fault, either."
"I know. Though he'd certainly love to place the blame on me." Robyn's eyes narrowed in anger. "Do you know what he said to me? He actually had the audacity to say that it's because I've changed." When Chloe and Sam gave her a shocked look, she continued. "Yeah. He said that ever since the attack, I haven't been the same. I'm not the fun, vivacious Robyn he fell in love with."
"That asshole!" Sam blurted out.
"He's not an asshole." Chloe paused before she elaborated. "He's a narcissistic, lying, conniving, arrogant asshole. And you're better off without him, Rob."
"Amen to that!" Sam clinked her glass against Chloe's, and both women downed their whiskey simultaneously.
"For once, I'm not going to argue with you." Robyn reached into the bag of chocolates and pulled one out, fidgeting with the ends of the wrapper. "I just don't know what I'm going to do now. I thought I had my life figured out. It seemed to be laid out before me. Now it's like I'm a crossroads, and I just don't know which path to take. I have no map. No plan. No clue."
Chloe, ever the optimist, smiled at her. "Well, that's the beauty of it." Sam and Robyn both gave her a skeptical look. "I know it's scary, Robyn. But now that you're free of Ethan, you have the chance to explore different paths. Try new things. Find out who you are. You can find yourself again."
"And you can do it without a man tying you down," Sam declared. And then, with a mischievous smirk, she added "Unless you're into that kind of thing," a comment that elicited a little chuckle from Robyn.
Choosing her words carefully, Chloe remarked "And remember: not all guys are like Ethan. I mean, Jake did look after you when you needed him the most."
"And he did it without expecting anything in return ... that we know of," Sam stated.
Robyn nodded in agreement. "You're right. I don't know how he put up with me," she murmured, and her friends exchanged a knowing glance.
"He cares for you," Chloe pointed out.
"I think it's more than that. It's obvious that wants you. Desperately," Sam chimed in.
Robyn's heart warmed at the idea. Not only had Jake looked after her, but there had been other things that indicated that he harbored feelings for her. His smile lingered a little while longer when he was with her, and his touch still felt like an electric current. During breakfast, she'd caught him stealing glances, his gaze filled with something deeper than concern. She'd tried to brush off all of these clues, but now she could no longer deny that maybe, just maybe ...
"All right. There's a chance that he has feelings for me. And I may feel the same way. But it's too soon to jump into a new relationship, and I would never ask him to wait for me. It wouldn't be fair to him."
Chloe bit her bottom lip, hesitating. Technically, she hadn't promised Jake that she'd keep his feelings for Robyn a secret. And the cat was pretty much out of the bag, so to speak. It wasn't as though she could stand idly by and watch as her friend struggled with uncertainty.
"What if he's already decided to wait for you?" The blonde squirmed under Robyn's suspicious gaze. "All right. I admit it. Jake and I talked, and ... long story short, he's willing to wait until you're ready."
Robyn's eyes widened in surprise. After all, she had it on good authority that Jake had vowed to never allow himself to get close to a woman. Now he'd promised to wait for her? A swirl of emotions filled her as memories of heartbreak and false promises flashed before her, warning her to be cautious. Deep down, though, she knew that what Chloe said carried weight.
"See?" Sam began, grinning at Robyn. "Told ya so!"
Robyn laughed a bit. "Yes, Sam. You're always right," she teased, and the woman in question raised her glass in agreement.
The interior designer looked around her living room, letting out a sigh. Her gaze landed on the framed photograph of herself with Ethan. They were smiling and holding hands as they stood on one of Maui's sandy beaches, the beautiful colors of a Hawaiian sunset spread behind them.
"This picture ... It was taken during our first vacation together. Our only vacation," she remarked sadly, running a finger over their glass-encased images. "We were happy back then." She set the photograph down, and then her eyes began to scan the room again. "I never realized how many things I have in here that remind me of him. I suppose I should get rid of them."
Chloe and Sam exchanged a sympathetic look. "What do you want to do with the pictures?" Chloe wondered.
Robyn considered her options for a few seconds. When her relationship with Andrew ended, she'd tucked photographs and other memories into a floral-print memory box that she kept on a shelf of her closet. Though she never opened it, she liked the idea of having memories of her first love nearby. But that relationship had ended amicably, and its dissolution was due to Robyn and Andrew wanting different things. Thanks to the pain Ethan had inflicted upon her, Robyn wanted nothing to do with items that reminded her of their failed relationship. So a memory box was definitely out of the question.
"Shred them," was her simple response.
While Robyn retreated to her bedroom to gather items associated with Ethan, Sam and Chloe proceeded to do the same in the living room. By the time she returned, a heart-print shoebox in her hands, her friends had just finished removing pictures from the frames. The women took the two steps that led up to Robyn's makeshift office space, and Robyn set the shoebox down on her desk. With shaky hands, she slowly removed the lid and set it aside. Inside the box were ticket stubs, seashells, a lei, random photographs, love letters, and other items that were all connected to Ethan.
She picked up one of the photographs and let out a steadying breath, looking at it for a few seconds. "All right. Here goes nothing."
Robyn switched on the shredder and fed the photograph into it, the sound echoing through the apartment. She moved on to the next picture, and then the next and so on. These photographs, once cherished, were now nothing more than a collection of fragmented, broken memories. And as the last picture disappeared into the shredder, Robyn let out a deep breath as a mixture of relief and sadness filled her. Her task complete, she shut off the shredder and let out a heavy sigh.
"What are you going to do with the rest?" Chloe inquired, nodding at the memory box.
Robyn stared down at what little remained, picking up a trinket as she did so. With a shrug, she answered "They can go to the rubbish bin, I suppose."
Chloe and Sam watched as Robyn walked over to the garbage bin, stepped on the pedal, and proceeded to dump the contents of the memory box into the trash. Tears welled up in her eyes and threatened to fall at any moment, but she steeled herself. There would be no more crying over Ethan, she decided. She'd done that long enough, and he didn't deserve her tears.
"I'm tired," Robyn softly announced, her voice filled with the exhaustion and relief she felt. "Thank you for being here with me. I don't think I could have done any of this without you."
Sam and Chloe gave their heartbroken friend a smile, each of them drawing her into an embrace. With a grateful heart, Robyn bid her friends goodnight and promised to keep them updated. On her way out, Sam joked (Or, at least, Robyn hoped it was a joke!) that she'd stop by Ethan's apartment and let the air out of his tires.
The door closed behind her friends, and Robyn's smile faded as she worried about the task she'd entrusted Sam with. Given the turmoil that brewed between herself and Ethan, Robyn had asked Sam to drop off Ethan's belongings at his office. Now she was wondering if that had been a mistake. Knowing Sam and her temper, it was very likely that she would end up "accidentally," breaking some of the items on the way to Ethan's office. Though the petty side of her honestly didn't care about the safety of Ethan's belongings, her concern was for her friend's welfare. Sam desperately needed her job, and Robyn hated the idea of her friend jeopardizing her employment because of her justifiable anger over Ethan's treatment of Robyn. She didn't know how Ethan would react if he suspected that Sam had purposefully damaged his possessions.
After stashing the leftover pizza in the fridge and playing with Luna for a few minutes, Robyn shut off the lights and retreated to her bedroom. Staying true to her routine, Luna was the first to settled down on the bed. Robyn needed her, after all. And Luna was nothing if not diligent in tending to her human. As the cat curled up near the head of the bed, Robyn stepped into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. Her hair tied back into a tidy ponytail, she took off the clothes she'd borrowed from Jake and carefully folded them. Smiling at his kindness, she set the clothes down on top of her dresser and proceeded to change into a simple nightgown.
"All right, Luna. Time for bed."
Luna let out a mournful meow as she was picked up and moved over. Robyn settled down beneath the covers and reached out to stroke the cat's head, and the Tonk immediately purred in response as she rested her head on Robyn's stomach and drifted off to sleep.
In the darkness of her bedroom, Robyn's mind bounced back and forth between Jake and Ethan. Her heart sped up at the thought of Jake's feelings for her and his willingness to wait for her. If one good thing came from her open relationship with Ethan, it was Jake. The brooding bartender had entered her life like a breath of fresh air, awakening her senses and opening her eyes to new possibilities. She relished the idea that one day, when she was ready, they could pursue an actual, real, loving relationship.
When her thoughts drifted back to Ethan, she felt caught in a moment of hesitation. Reaching for her phone on the nightstand, she faltered again. She took a deep breath, her fingers dancing across the screen as she typed out a brief message.
Sam will be dropping your possessions off at your office tomorrow. Please return my belongings as soon as possible.
Robyn let out a breath and hit SEND, her heart feeling heavy once more. A few minutes later, just as she was drifting off to sleep, her phone buzzed. Against her better judgment, she picked up the phone and read Ethan's reply.
Please give me another chance, Robbie. I am sincerely sorry for what happened. Cheating on you was a stupid thing to do, and I believe we can still work things out.
Robyn glared at the screen, her resolve refusing to falter. Did Ethan honestly think that she would forget about his betrayal? She deserved better, and she was determined to strive for happiness on her own terms.
Your so-called apologies and false promises won't work this time. Nothing will change my mind. My mother always says that loving someone is a choice. If that's true, then guess what? I choose to STOP loving you. I'm moving on, and I don't want to hear from you or see you again. We're over. Accept that. Return my things and hand them over to Sam when she drops off your belongings. Goodbye, Ethan.
Without a moment's hesitation, Robyn sent the message and then clicked on Ethan's contact information. She clicked on the option marked MORE and then immediately blocked his number, deleting him from her contacts in the process. A thought occurred to her, and she scrolled down to the newest addition to her list of contacts. Nibbling on her bottom lip, she typed out a brief but sincere message.
I want to thank you again for being there for me, Jake. Your clothes are safe and sound, and looking forward to their eventual return. See you soon.
- Robyn
With a smile, Robyn sent the message and then plugged the phone into the charger. Pulling the covers up to her chin, she closed her eyes and drifted off into a somewhat peaceful slumber.
Jake opened a door to the left of the entrance of Café Margaux, climbing the seventeen steps that led to Simone's cluttered studio apartment. He opened the door without knocking and then stepped inside, the tantalizing aroma of a well-cooked meal wafting toward him.
Simone, who was in the process of clearing off her table, gave him a shake of her head. "You're late. And have you ever heard of knocking?" she chided.
"Hello to you, too, Simone," was Jake's sarcastic reply as he slipped out of his leather jacket and shoes.
Simone glanced up at him, her brows furrowing in frustration. "Where were you today? You were supposed to help me assemble my new bookcase."
Jake shrugged. "I was busy. I'm here now. Aren't I?"
Simone sighed, her tone and expression filled with disappointment. "Noah told me that you ran out on him last night. He said something about a family emergency, which is odd ... seeing as I'm your only family, and I'm perfectly fine."
Jake's gaze wandered away, his response vague. "Yeah. Well, something came up."
"If I had known that you'd run out like that, I wouldn't have recommended you to Noah in the first place. He needed your help, Jake. And I was under the impression that you needed the money."
Jake narrowed his eyes at her, trying to keep his temper in check. But quite frankly, he was tired and hungry. Not to mention the fact that his mind was occupied by thoughts of a certain gorgeous, heartbroken woman who may or may not open her heart to him in the future. Needless to say, he wasn't in the mood to put up with Simone practically wagging her finger at him, as though he were a puppy who had destroyed her favorite pair of shoes. "So did you invite me over for dinner or for a lecture? 'Cause if it's a lecture, I'm not interested."
Simone pursed her lips in annoyance, deciding to drop the subject for now. The timer dinged, and she shoved a stack of books into his arms. "Here. Make yourself useful. Finish clearing the table and then set it up. Dinner is almost ready."
A half-hour later, the apartment was filled with an uncomfortable silence as Jake and Simone dined on Cornish game hen and wild rice salad. The clinking of glasses and cutlery echoed through the small space as his mind wandered elsewhere, and Simone's eyes narrowed in disapproval as his cell phone beeped.
"Really, Jake! Can't you put the phone away?"
Jake's lips curled into a small, but genuine smile when he saw who texted him. "Lighten up, Moni. It's not like the hen is going to walk off of the table," he responded as he typed a response and pressed SEND. Giving her a smug look, he set the phone down on the table and dug into the salad.
Simone's aggravation increased. "You're insufferable."
And you're working my last nerve, he wanted to tell her, settling for attacking his salad instead.
Jake was the first to finish eating, and the way he scarfed down the food left Simone shaking her head in disapproval. Absentmindedly leaving his phone behind, he stepped into the area known as Simone's living room/bedroom and grudgingly began the process of assembling the bookcase. (Because goodness forbid Simone should do it herself!)
Simone finished clearing the table, her irritation palpable as she observed him. His snarky attitude, combined with his evasiveness, left her frustrated. Not to mention that text message he'd received. Knowing that he would be distracted for a while, she left the dishes and utensils in the sink to soak. His back still turned to Simone, Jake was blissfully unaware of the fact that she had picked up the phone and was now in the process of reading the text message from Robyn.
Simone's eyes widened as she read the text, the tight knot of worry constricting around her heart and stomach. Why on Earth would Jake want anything to do with that woman, given the way she'd treated him only a few months ago? Though Jake wouldn't admit it, Robyn had left him wounded and broken-hearted. And now, she'd somehow managed to weasel her way back into Jake's life? What was Jake thinking ... if he was thinking at all?
Jake left a while later, having made sure that Simone's bookcase was properly assembled. Simone closed and locked the door, leaning against it as she let out a heavy sigh. She'd tried to talk him into staying the night, insisting that it was pouring outside and that he could sleep in her bed. But he seemed to sense that she didn't actually need him to stay, and so he'd rejected her offer with a shake of his head and a "Not tonight."
Jake's refusal to stay triggered a wave of disappointment and frustration in Simone. She couldn't deny that she enjoyed the sense of being needed when he sought solace in her company. She couldn't help but feel that he was starting to pull away from her, just as he had when he was with Tess. She feared that history was repeating itself. Only this time, it was Robyn who was capturing Jake's attention and drawing his focus off of Simone.
With determination, Simone approached her nightstand and opened the drawer. Grasping the leather-bound address book, she sat down on the bed and proceeded to flip through the pages until she found the entry she was searching for. She knew that what she was planning was drastic. But that old saying was true: desperate times often call for desperate measures. Not wanting to wait until Monday morning to speak with the man in question, she dialed his number and worked out what she was going to say as she listened to his answering machine.
"Hello. You have reached the office of Frank Kessler, private investigator. I'm not in right now. Leave me a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."
The machine beeped, and a smile graced Simone's features as she said "Hello, Frank. This is Simone Hughes. There's someone I think you should look into, and I'd like to set up appointment to discuss things further. Call me at 555-324-0809. Thank you."
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Your first theory sounds more realistic - Aegon and Visenya, who’s relationships considered never warm, probably had an argument/fight and she said some horrible things (honestly, all her comments in the book are kinda vile and envious so no surprise here).
And I don’t think Aegon ever liked her. But could you blame him? Visenya’s personality is not very likeable, with her being stern and serious most of the time, she sound a lot like Stannis Baratheon and it’s not the kind of a person someone would like to be around. And Aegon seems like a no bullshit person and so I don’t think he would go along with her actions.
follow up to this
See now you're putting me in a tough position here because Stannis is one of my favorite guys in ASOIAF, I love him very much and I can, have, and will continue to talk about him ad nauseam until I am forcibly stopped.
I don't think Aegon and Visenya having a blowout argument where hurtful words are exchanged that worsens any rift that was growing between them is out of bounds. It's actually something I've floated for myself, as a subset of my own theory, that in grief they said harsh things that they've never taken back and it did worsen what was going on between them. They don't necessarily need to have a prior bad relationship for there to be a falling out that they couldn't recover from, especially in such a high stress environment like the First Dornish War.
Listen, I've always said, and I will continue to always say, that I will not knock on anyone's headcanons, especially when it comes to the Conquerors, who we know frighteningly little about as people. And if there are people who view their story the same way that it's been viewed throughout most of Westerosi history and run with that, then that's fine by me, great, go forth and go nuts, there's good content to be mined from that. But it's not going to be something I subscribe to myself. It's also just that simply, as a writer, I've always felt "woman scorned" to be an exceptionally boring trope. Of all the things that can be done with Visenya and Aegon and Rhaenys as people, and with their interlocking relationships, having it just be that Visenya was a jealous hag who hated everyone and who everyone hated right back just feels simplistic and lazy compared to any other possible option. It's not something I'd find narratively compelling on a character or story level, and if this were a narrative proper and that was what they went with, I'd be sorely disappointed.
I also don't think we can just categorically proclaim that Visenya and Aegon never liked each other. We know Visenya at least supported him publicly, that she crowned him as king herself and was an active participant in the Conquest (she was literally injured in battle for it), continued to support the realm even as their relationship worsened, she defended him fiercely whenever his life was in danger, especially during the Dragon's Wroth, to the point of forming the Kingsguard herself to protect him, and even after he was dead, she still offered advice and counsel to Aegon's son by Rhaenys even if she thought he was a bad fit for kingship and supplanted his heir with her own son. And on Aegon's side, he trusted Visenya to be a part of his unification of Westeros and gave her just as many commands as he did Rhaenys to make that possible, he had Visenya not just as a consort but as a co-administrator, as one of the two people most in charge of the day to day political runnings of the Seven Kingdoms, alongside Rhaenys, he trusted her to protect his life and he trusted her instincts when it came to others being charged to protect him also; he did go along with her actions in those various respects. And, most importantly, he still kept her as his wife even after Rhaenys entered the picture.
The idea that the two eldest Targaryen children must get married isn't some hard and fast law, it's just a custom that's followed within the family. And we know absolutely nothing about how Aegon's marriages shook out. We don't even know if he got married to both sisters at the same time, or if there was an original marriage of just him and Visenya with Rhaenys added in later (that's my personal view of it) once Aerion, who seems to have been the person most gunning for it in comparison to his children, was out of the picture, either through infirmity or outright death. But there was a period of time where Aegon was now the person in charge of making decisions on who he would wed, that's why he married Rhaenys at all, and on the flipside would be involved in any decisions about dissolving his original marriage. We don't know exactly how ending a marriage works in Westeros, given that we only get the Faith of the Seven's idea that a marriage can be put aside if it was never consummated. It's entirely possible that, if Aegon really just could never stand Visenya, he could have easily kicked her out of the marriage entirely, and likely been able to do so, rather than just changing the parameters of the marriage to include two wives once Rhaenys got involved. The fact that he did what he did can speak volumes to the respect and affection he had for Visenya, at least as a sister, if not as a romantic partner (I still think Visenya was a lesbian in love with Rhaenys and never saw Aegon as more than a little brother, and Aegon of course was in love with Rhaenys too and only viewed Visenya as a big sister).
None of this precludes there being a catastrophic rift later in life, or them turning on each other in hurtful ways. But in my view, not only through the evidence but also in what I like creatively, I don't think that's what it is. It seems that they liked each other fine early on in life, that they enjoyed each other and loved each other as family, and likely probably did have their own companionship due to some similar characteristics (Visenya was stern and serious, Aegon was, as you said, not someone who took bullshit and seemed to be more inclined to reservation than exhuberation), but the circumstances and stresses of life twisted and corroded that until it was something toxic and distant and hurtful that never fully recovered.
I also think the Stannis thing you mentioned is actually unintentionally revealing, anon. Because on the outside, yeah, Stannis doesn't seem like the kind of guy people would want to be around. He's stern and law abiding to a fault and stubborn and unforgiving, and that hasn't engendered much love for him in other people who don't know him personally. But we, the readers, have seen the inner workings of Stannis through someone who loves him borderline unconditionally, in Davos, and we learn a lot. We learn about Stannis as a kid who nurtured a hawk who would never be the kind of hunter he needed, just because he couldn't just abandon it to die. We learn about Stannis as someone who forced himself into atheism because he couldn't fathom a world where the gods would let him watch his parents die. We learn about Stannis as someone who struggled greatly in the choice between whether or not to abandon his principles in siding with Robert, a traitor, over Aerys, an anointed king, and chose his brother because he loved him. We learn about Stannis as someone who held out through an unimaginable siege and starvation out of loyalty to his brother's cause. We learn about Stannis as someone who values those who helps him, regardless of stations, and we learn about Stannis as someone who wants so desperately to do right by people even if it's not what he wants, like claiming kingship for Robert's sake and swearing his men to press Shireen's claim if he falls in battle even if he never wanted any of this. And we do see Stannis as more than just some asshole the way he's painted as by outsiders, we see him as someone who clearly cares for Davos personally, someone who loved his brothers in spite of feeling like it was never returned, someone who does love his daughter (one of the few good things the show ever did with Stannis were some of his moments with Shireen and his evident devotion to her, before That Scene in 5x09), someone with enough love for his fellow man that he'll go to the Wall to help the Night's Watch and take back Winterfell for the Starks even if it's not entirely in his best interests.
At his core, from what we see through Davos in his longstanding devotion and then Jon as the latter gets to know him more, Stannis is so much more than what he's painted as by the official histories and court gossip and word of mouth from people who've never met him personally or don't know him well beyond saying hi in the halls. He is a thousand times more than his reputation. Stannis is the King Who Cared. And none of that is outwardly evident to people who don't know him, to people who aren't entrusted to his confidences the way Davos is. That's actually a key part of ASOIAF, the way that what we see on the outside is so rarely able to also show us what's going on behind the scenes, the way that the opinions of a general populace often do not line up at all with the reality of the situation of what someone is like in their own thoughts and personalities, like Tyrion being derided as a monster when he was trying to save the city in ACOK.
So if Stannis is all of that, and if that's emblematic of one of the core messages of the book that's actually resonant in a lot of characters if you parse it out, is it so impossible to imagine the same can be said for Visenya? Visenya is someone we are learning about entirely through a history book, Fire & Blood is an in-universe textbook compiled long after Visenya was already dead; we learn nothing about her as a person beyond what's been officially recorded, certainly nothing from those closest to her, as neither she nor Aegon nor Rhaenys left any in person records about themselves or their feelings on each other. It's entirely possible, and honestly quite extraordinarily likely that Visenya, like Stannis, has a lot more to her as a person and as a character than meets the eye.
#personal#answered#anonymous#sorry if this is a bit rambly i just had a lot more points to hit than i realized#did not mean to start ranting on about stannis the way i did but i just........god i love him so much
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