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puckbunnyera · 3 months

Text

Just Friends | Luke Hughes

• ──────────────♡────────────── •

genre: fluff

word count: 2.3k

warnings: none

notes: it's been less than 24 hours since i posted my first fic and i've already received a few asks for a part 2 so here it is. i'll link the first part here. thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read it, like it, reblog it, etc. i'm always really nervous to post my own writing so any type of interaction with it feels good to see.

also, i know the timelines of the games played in both fics don't align with the actual events in real time but we are just going to ignore that for the sake of the plot.

• ──────────────♡────────────── •

I sigh as I stand in front of my bedroom mirror, doing one last fit check before Luke arrives. I'm nervous. I come to this realization as I smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles in my shirt. Why? I couldn't tell you. It's been almost two months since the night I met Luke, and we've talked and texted almost every day since. We've even hung out multiple times since then, but I always seem to get all nervous and jittery anytime he presents the offer. My thoughts start to consume me to the point that I'm almost tempted to text him and ask for a rain check, but before I can fall too deeply into them, my attention is stolen by the two girls lying on my bed behind me.

"I still can't believe you're dating The Luke Hughes." One of my friends says causing me to turn my back towards the mirror to look at her.

"We aren't dating." I scoff. "We're-"

"Right, you're 'just friends'." My other friend interrupts, rolling her eyes and using her fingers to make air quotes as she says the words.

"We are." I shrug, moving to sit in my vanity chair so I can put on my shoes.

"You don't have to believe us if you don't want to, but he totally has the hots for you."

"It's so obvious. Any time he has the chance to get away from his job, he's calling, texting, or coming to see you. Even if it's only for a short amount of time. Those aren't typical behaviors of a guy who wants to be 'just friends'."

They continue to go on and on as if they're trying to convince a jury that they're innocent of a crime. The sound of my phone dinging from beside me on the table finally brings their rambling to an end. I pick up to find a text from Luke.

From Luke🏒: i'm here

To Luke🏒: omw

"I would love to stay and continue this conversation," I smile sarcastically as I stand up, "But my friend is waiting for me downstairs." I make sure to add extra emphasis on the word friend.

They both giggle and bid their goodbyes as I walk out of the room. When I make it downstairs to the lobby of my apartment building, Luke, in all of his handsome glory, is waiting patiently by the door.

"Ready to go?" He questions once I'm standing in front of him. I nod in confirmation and he opens the door for us, placing a gentle hand on my back to lead me out.

"What's the plan for today?" I ask once we're settled into the car.

"I need to drop off a couple of things at the dry cleaners since my brother forgot to do it," He gestures to the items in his backseat. "But then I figured we could go to dinner, catch a movie, and then maybe grab some dessert before I take you home."

"Sounds good!" I reply with a smile, with which he returns one of his own before putting the car in drive and pulling away from my apartment building.

Things are going well today. Really well. We're having fun and Luke is being as sweet as always. However, that's the only problem. Despite the stance I took in the argument with my friends, I can't help but let their words get to me. The whole evening, I've been reading too deeply into every little thing he does. Every door he holds open for me, every chair he pulls out for me, every accidental brush of our hands when we walk side-by-side. I'm trying not to let it show, but when Luke's voice rattles my thoughts and pulls me back down to Earth, I know I'm failing.

"Are you okay?" He asks as we sit in the car, waiting for the red light to turn green. "You've been pretty quiet today."

"Really?" I ask, genuinely confused because I hadn't noticed that change in my behavior. When he responds with a solemn nod, guilt rises in my chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was. It has nothing to do with you." Yet it has everything to do with him.

"Did something happen?" He pushes further.

"No, just have a lot on my mind with work and all, but I'm okay. Promise." I give him a soft smile in hopes that it will give him enough reassurance to drop the conversation. Thankfully he does, but the look in his eyes shows clearly that he doesn't believe me. "So my friends were telling me that you have a home game coming up in a couple of days against your oldest brother's team. Are you excited?" I change the subject quickly.

"Yeah," He nods, a smile gracing his features. "My parents are gonna be in town to watch us face off against each other. All three Hughes brothers on the same ice. I'm hoping it will be as exciting as everyone and the media are making it seem." He chuckles. "I'm also just really excited to see Quinn. We haven't gotten to see each other much since I moved out to Jersey and the season started. I think it'll be nice to have us all back together again, even if it's just for a couple of days."

"I bet it will be."

"I'm glad you brought this up because I've been meaning to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"Would you maybe want to come to the game?"

"Do you want me to come?" I'm praying the hopeful look in my eyes isn't obvious.

"Yeah," He nods. "I really do."

"Then I'll be there." I assure him. "The girls were talking about purchasing tickets anyways, so I'll tell them to make it three tickets instead of just the two."

"Don't worry about it. I got it covered."

"Luke, you don't have to do that." I shake my head, readying myself to argue.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to." The look he gives me makes me forget any rebuttal I had previously prepared. "Plus, I already got the tickets and the seating arrangements set up."

"And you just knew I was gonna say yes?" I reply, crossing my arms.

"No, but I was hoping you would."

"I guess some dreams really do come true." I joke.

"I guess so."

We continue to talk and joke around for the remainder of the drive. It goes by a little too quickly though, because before I know it, he's putting the car in park in front of my building. Being the gentleman that he is, he walks me all the way up to my apartment door. It's not until I have unlocked and opened the door that he finally says goodnight, placing a soft peck on my cheek before walking away. Once he has disappeared into the elevator and I'm sure he's gone, I close and lock the door.

As I'm getting ready for bed, I become aware of the slight ache in my cheeks from smiling so much. As soon as my head hits my pillow, the realization dawns on me. I am in love with Luke Hughes.

• ───────────────────────────── •

I'm still in shock at the fact that he really went all out with the tickets. My friends seem to be as well considering that they still haven't managed to pick their jaws up off the floor yet. Never in my life would I have ever expected to be seated in one of the arena's luxury suites. I feel a little bad the more I dwell on it. There are more deserving fans that could be sitting here, yet some girl who knew nothing about the sport two months ago had them handed to her at no cost.

"Hi, you must be Y/N." An unfamiliar woman's voice pulls me from my pity-party.

"Oh, hi." I greet her as I turn in her direction.

"I'm Luke's mom, Ellen." She smiles and pulls me into a quick but gentle embrace. "And this is my husband, Jim." She gestures to the man beside her.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N." He offers a hand for me to shake.

"You as well." I accept it before introducing them to my two friends, who are not-so-discreetly eavesdropping on the conversation.

We all find a seat and fall into casual conversation. Just getting to know each other and talking about this, that, and the other. Once the teams begin to make their way onto the ice, our attentions shift away from each other and onto the players.

Having admitted to my lack of knowledge of the sport before the game started, Jim and Ellen kindly explained the game to me so I would know what is going on. By the end of the first period, I'm clued in enough that I don't need it anymore and eventually, I become just as immersed in the game as the rest of them are.

It's in the second period that Luke scores a goal and we all stand up, cheering loudly with the crowd. The excitement is so high that I don't even shy away when Ellen happily pulls me into a tight hug before pulling away and continuing to cheer for her youngest son. Third period seems to go by in a flash and then the game is ending with a 6-5 win for the Devils, both Jack and Luke having contributed to the score with goals of their own.

Once the final buzzer goes off, my friends bid their farewells before heading out to go home. However, I hang back with Ellen and Jim upon the request of Luke. I follow the two down from the suite until we make it to where the locker rooms are located, waiting in the hall for the three brothers to emerge. We stand around conversing for about ten or so minutes before the men finally make their appearances.

They all embrace and greet each other as I stand back and watch with a smile. They really are a beautiful family. Once they all break away, Luke turns his attention towards me. He steps forward and reaches for me, pulling me into his arms.

"Congratulations." I speak softly as I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders, his wrapped around my waist.

"Thank you." I can hear the smile in his voice.

Time escapes me as I stand in his arms. I'm not even sure how long we've been holding onto each other. It's his brother's voice that finally has us separating.

"You must be the infamous Y/N." Quinn steps up, a smug grin on his face. "I've heard so much about you."

"I've heard a lot about you as well," I respond politely, despite the blush I'm sure I'm sporting due to his teasing tone. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Will you be joining us for dinner?" Ellen asks from where she stands, now next to Quinn.

"Oh, um," I look to Luke for an answer. He nods, a pleading look in his eyes. "Yes, I would love to." I finally reply.

With that being said, we all begin to exit the arena and head to the parking lot. We're almost to the vehicles when Luke gently grabs my hand and pulls me to a stop. Once his family is out of earshot, he begins to speak.

"This might seem random and sudden, but I've been thinking about it for a while." He starts, looking away nervously and lifting a hand to scratch the back of his neck. "And feel free to say no because I don't want you to feel like you have to say yes just because I'm asking. Or if you feel like you need time to think it over, feel free to take all of the time you need. Actually, maybe I-"

"Luke," I say his name softly, placing my hands on his reddening cheeks and forcing his gaze back to mine. His rambling comes to a halt. "Breathe."

"Sorry." He inhales deeply before releasing his breath. "I was wondering, would you be my girlfriend?"

It's my turn to take a deep breath. Out of all the things he could have said, I was not expecting this. I take a moment to gather my thoughts as a smile begins to pull at my lips.

"I would love to." I nod, my smile growing larger resulting in his own.

"Well," He takes a step closer to me. "Since you're my girlfriend now, does that mean I can kiss you?" His question flusters me but I try hard not to show it.

"Do you want to kiss me?"

"Really fucking badly."

"Then kiss me, Luke."

And so he does. His lips crash into mine in a soft but passionate kiss. As if he has waited a lifetime to do it. It's gentle yet desperate. As we finally part, he pecks my lips a few more times before pulling away completely. He opens his mouth to say something but is stopped by Jack shouting from where his family is waiting by the cars, surely having seen the whole display.

"If you two lovebirds are done sucking faces in the middle of the parking lot, I would like to leave now. I'm fucking starving." He teases.

We both turn our gazes in time to see Quinn smack the middle brother in the back of the head and both parents shaking their heads at their son's antics. Luke chuckles at the scene as he intertwines his hand with mine and begins to walk to the car. My heart flutters as I finally admit the obvious to myself. Maybe we weren't ever just friends. I mentally roll my eyes as I climb into the back seat, already picturing the two squealing girls in my head and the endless amounts of I told you so's that I'm sure to hear when I fill them in. However, when Luke slides into the car next to me and interlocks our hands once again, I can't bring myself to care. I think I like this little life.

#luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes x reader #new jersey devils #lh43 #luke hughes fluff #luke hughes fic #nj devils #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction

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dotster001 · 1 year

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Hi i don't know, if your requests are still open, if not you can ignore it or do it whenever you want.

Just readed your prompt, when reader suddenly passes out with Vil, Jamil, Floyd and Rook. I was wondering, if you could write something similar for Malleus, Lilia and maybe the teachers Trein and Crewel?

(I'm happy you enjoyed those! And I hope you like these too!)

Part One Part Three

CW:Burnout (obviously), mental breakdown/trauma in Trein's part, spoilers for Vargas training camp in Trein's part, injury in Crewel's part

A/N: I've said this in my pin post, but I age up characters to actual college age, because I am in college, and didn't realize until a few months in the characters were not. Everyone here is. 18+ If it makes you feel more comfortable, imagine this as a grad school situation.

He's been pouting a lot lately. Which for a normal person wouldn't be a problem, but Mal's pouting usually meant that the weather was bad as well. He was pouty, because whenever you had time in your incredibly busy schedule to see him, you still had to be working on your homework. With everything Crowley had you do for the school, you had to share your "dragon time" with your "homework time". But your boyfriend looked very cute pouty, so part of you wasn't too upset about it.

Until the day you were so busy with something that you hadn't eaten or slept in over 24 hours and just…collapsed during dragon/homework time.

Malleus immediately panics. He assumes you have had a heart attack and died (Mal…college students are unlikely to have heart attacks) Once he finds a pulse, and sees your breathing, he scoops you up and teleports to Lilia faster than he has ever teleported.

He's sobbing as he answers Lilia's questions, not entirely certain that this wasn't something he did. Lilia easily is able to figure out what has happened, and goes to make you some soup for when you wake up. Malleus is too relieved to think about the fact that while Lilia's soup will have loads of protein, it might send you into shock. In the meantime, he puts a cool cloth on your forehead, and caresses your cheek.

After you wake up and barely survive the soup Malleus spoon feeds you he tucks you into his massive comfy bed (you can't tell me he doesn't have the fluffiest comforters) and then…vanishes.

From here on out, everytime you get a task from Crowley, it's already finished by the time you get around to it. It's weird, but it means you have time to keep homework separate from "dragon time". Which makes a certain fae very happy.

Lilia has spent years learning how to care for humans, especially since most of them *cough* Silver *cough cough* Y/N are not good at caring for themselves. While his recipes are terrible, he is right in some ways about making sure to get all your nutrients. While it can feel a little patronizing sometimes, he is right that you need sleep. While he is a little unorthodox in how he has fun, he's right that you need to have leisure time and do things you enjoy.

What you don't know is that behind the scenes Lilia has already been having regular arguments with a certain Crow about your workload. When two fae fight, it's never good, but you don't have to worry about what's going on.

Azul and the tweels get called back home out of nowhere, and now you're in charge of all the paperwork that he is usually in charge of handling, both for the lounge and for the other Housewarden's. Lilia sees less and less of his sweet human, and he's suspicious part of it is because you are avoiding him, knowing full well he would make you take a break.

He has to admit, your avoiding skills are actually pretty good. So he's not actually there when you collapse. And he's furious. Especially when he finds out that Crowley also decided to add his own paperwork to your ever growing pile. He only knows you collapsed when he hears some randos gossiping about how "the prefect collapsed running laps today, and the idiot duo had to walk them to the infirmary." He's immediately flying to the infirmary, powered by his pure rage.

He knows it's not your fault, especially since you have nothing to your name in this world, so it's easy to manipulate you into this position. So he does his best not to take his anger out on you as he watches you sip apple juice that the nurse gave you, while you do your best to keep your eyes open. Once he is certain that the nurse has things under control, he kisses your forehead, and asks you if you want him to bring you anything.

While he's out getting you a treat, he makes a stop at a certain Crow's office. From here on out you don't see a lot of him. You are a little worried that Lilia may have killed him, but everytime you ask him, he giggles and messes up your hair, before telling you how silly that is.

He's harder on you than he is on most of his students, partially so that no one can claim favoritism, partially because you are just so far behind in history (having it not be your history) that he has to give you extra work and lessons to catch you up. But as a trade off, he tries to be a step ahead of Crowley whenever he can. There's little that happens in the school that he's unaware of, so he's usually able to protect you from his foolish boss.

Until you get sent to the training camp with the sports clubs to assist Vargas. He's furious about this last minute decision, that Crowley conveniently forgot to tell him about, and he's even more angry when he later finds out that you were "kidnapped" and then immediately had to fight a creature in the mines.

Naturally, your mental health is not so great after the trip. He's starting to see it on your face when you both hang out, and even if he didn't, your work for his class is deteriorating, if you even turn it in at all.

Then you break down one day when he asks you about it. He can't understand a word you're saying as you sob and yell and shake. But he's pretty sure he has the idea. You've been pushed too far. He sends Lucius to fetch a nurse or counselor , or heck he's sure even Sam would have something to help you relax enough to just breathe. In the meantime, he wraps his arms around you and tries to walk you through breathing exercises, while whispering some praises to you that you can't comprehend in this state, but appreciate all the same.

After someone gives you a potion that helps you relax a little, he leaves you to rest on his office couch with Lucius in charge, and he holds a meeting with the rest of that staff about what's not appropriate to put people through. (Essentially it's Crewel and Trein yelling at Vargas and Crowley about trauma and what their job is supposed to be)

This never happens again. You continue to have extra work from Trein, but he always ensures he makes time to help you, or give you a soothing tea if he thinks you're starting to drop back into the bad mental state. If you do, he holds you close, and says nothing, while allowing you to spill whatever is plaguing you.

Prior to him dating you, you had denied his request many times to financially sponsor you. Now that you were together, it was harder to come up with an excuse for him not to. So he'd purchased Ramshackle and renovated it. He'd taken up the expenses for your schooling and food (after much argument he'd also taken up Grim's) and after several discussions about the future of your relationship, he'd begun helping you through the process of becoming a citizen in a world that had no proof of your existence (a pain and a half, but there was nothing he wouldn't do for his beloved pup). In doing all this, he'd made it very clear to the Headmage that he had no hold over you, and therefore couldn't coerce you into anything.

Divus knew he was a fool for leaving you alone for a week. He had assumed that Crowley had nothing on you anymore, and that he could go help a smaller fashion designer that showed a lot of promise get their career off the ground. At first he was only going to be gone for a week, but it quickly turned into two, then three. He should have recognized the tension in your voice when you'd asked him over the phone when he thought he'd be back.

When he finally returned, he thought he'd surprise you by showing up where he knew you'd be hanging out with your friends. He'd bought a ring for you that he was particularly pleased with, and he wanted you to have it as soon as possible. His plan was dashed as he watched you collapse into Howl, who immediately started to panic.

With a clear voice Divus took over the scene, picking you up and carrying you to his office where he had all manner of potions. As he pressed one to your lips, he noticed a cast on your arm. He'd ask about it later.

When you woke up, you wrapped your arms around him, and whispered how much you missed him. He asked what happened, and you tell him how you broke your arm in yet another overblot incudent, and had been working like crazy for Crowley to pay off the medical expenses.

You've never been scared of your lover. But his eyes were practically glowing with rage, and now you were starting to wonder if you should be scared. Divus does not accept cruelty to animals or humans. And, he keeps his receipts. It's not long before there's a pretty hefty case and Dire is removed as headmage for coercion and endangerment. After that, there aren't any more overblot incidents and the students seem more mentally healthy. How about that?

He decides to wait to give you the ring until you're fully recovered after everything. But he's certain when he asks you the question that comes with it, you'll have an answer he likes. Especially when you nuzzle into him so sweetly while you nap in his office.

....

Tag list-@shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0 @lleoll

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #malleus x reader #malleus draconia #twst malleus #malleus draconia x reader #malleus #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge #mozus trein x reader #trein x reader #mozus trein #twst trein #professor trein #twst mozus trein

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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WIBTA to refuse tutoring my nephew even though I'm not sure what he did wrong?

So I (24, F) have been tutoring my nephew/the son of my mum's close friend (10, M) for a couple of weeks now. His mum pays me for the hours I spend teaching him and honestly despite the kid being obviously ADHD I don't really mind him getting constantly distracted because it's clear he still understands what I'm explaining to him, so we had a pretty good relationship up until this point as I was way more understanding of him than any other tutors or even his own mother, although I don't really know him THAT well.

During our tutoring sessions my cat, Pudding (14, F) would usually stay in the same room with us. She likes to stay in the same room as other people but usually doesn't let strangers pet her and will go away if bothered too much. Well, Nephew being distractable as he is would often go up to her to pet her as he would answer a question of mine or just as a thing between answering questions. Strangely enough Pudding did let him do that and didn't seem to be THAT bothered by it, so I too ignored it and just let him do it.

Now, here's the issue: A few days ago after we finished our tutoring session for that day I left the room to wash my hands in the kitchen since we were eating snacks during the session. My house's kitchen is literally DIRECTLY next to the room where we have our tutoring sessions so it couldn't have taken longer than 10-15 seconds from me leaving before I heard a cry from Pudding. "Oh, she must've finally gotten annoyed with Nephew's behaviour, I'll tell him to stop bothering her." I thought to myself as I finished washing my hands, yet before I was even able to make it back to the room I heard a second, much louder meow, the kind of meow a cat only makes if they ACTUALLY get hurt. So now, properly concerned, I round the corner into the room and see Nephew sitting right next to where Pudding is still laying, now with her ears flat and looking at him. He must've seen the confusion on my face because the first thing he said was "We were just playing." to which I blurted out that clearly she was not in the mood to play and walked over to check on her. While doing that, I noticed that there was a blanket slightly covering Pudding's hind legs, so I assumed maybe Nephew accidentally put his weight there without realizing she had her paws there. I VERY GENTLY pulled back the blanket and VERY GENTLY touched her legs to see if they were hurt, and then she BIT me and finally ran away. Of course I don't blame her, and in fact that only strengthened my concern because Pudding is a VERY polite cat, if she's bothered by anything she will just leave and if she bites for play it's always very gentle and doesn't leave a mark, this was not that. Afterwards I couldn't get any useful information out of Nephew as to what exactly he did, he just kept saying that he was petting her and she got annoyed which was clearly not true, so I dropped the subject and just sent him home.

Now it's been a few days since that happening and I've checked on Pudding's legs a few times since then. She doesn't respond to me touching them at all and she doesn't limp or anything so either she didn't get injured, or the legs were never the issue in the first place and me touching her was simply the last straw in that already stressful situation for her. Despite that however, I find myself not wanting to have Nephew over for tutoring anymore as I'm afraid that something like this might happen again when I'm literally gone from the room for less than a minute. It really annoys me that I have absolutely no clue what happened while I was gone, I don't even have a way to know if Nephew did whatever he did intentionally or by accident since him saying they were just "playing" could very well be just his honest perception of the situation, or him lying and being vague on purpose because he knows he did something wrong. The reason why I feel like Nephew might be lying about doing bad things on purpose is because Nephew's family has two cats, so I really feel like he should know better already and be more careful. Another point is the fact that this literally happened the INSTANT I was gone from the room, almost as if he was waiting for me to be gone to do something (as far as I recall I haven't ever left him alone with Pudding before this point), though admittedly that could just be unlucky coincidence. Plus, I find it REALLY hard to believe he'd be able to make Pudding cry like that on accident, I've genuinely NEVER heard her make a sound like that, ever, not even at the vet's. On the other hand however I know that he was failing his math class badly before I started tutoring him and I'm almost certain he'd start to fail again if I stopped helping him. Not only that, I'd have to come up with a lie about being too busy to do tutoring or something else since obviously I can't tell his mother "Hey your son might've done something bad but I'm not really sure and don't really have any proof and can't even tell if it was really intentional or not", since I realize how ridiculous that sounds despite still genuinely feeling incredibly uncomfortable about the whole situation.

So with all of that out of the way, would I be the asshole for denying him my tutoring services just because I feel uncomfortable about the idea of him possibly hurting my cat on purpose, even when I don't really have any proof that he did it on purpose or would do it again?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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heavyhitterheaux · 2 years

Text

Wifey's Lullaby

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: Jackman is the best husband. Confirmed.

Synopsis: Jack knows how difficult it is for you to sleep without him so he takes it upon himself to record his voice to send to you while he's away

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

It was around 2 in the morning and you were steadily tossing and turning in your king sized bed in Atlanta, Georgia.

The bed was big seeing as your husband was 6′3, but happened to be a lot bigger when your husband wasn't laying next to you despite how very much you wanted him to be.

He had been gone now for a week and the last night he was here was when you actually had gotten adequate sleep.

He would be back tomorrow, but that still didn’t make you feel any better.

Despite the time difference you picked up your phone to send him a quick text knowing that it was a possibility that he would still be awake seeing as he was on the west coast and you were on the east.

You- Baby 🥺

You- Jack Jack

You- Jackman

You- Husbandddd

You- SMUSHHHHH

Smush- Hey beautiful. What’s wrong? Why are you awake? You need to be sleeping

You- I've been laying here for hours 😩

Smush- Did you drink the tea I got you?

You- Yes

Jack had gotten you this chamomile tea that is supposed to help you fall asleep easier. Only problem is that is only seemed to work when he was here with you.

Smush- Do you have one of our children with you to keep you company?

You- Yes, Sophia and I have my teddy bear you got me for Valentines Day the first year we started dating

Smush- Hmm. Give me a few minutes.

You- Okay 😭

Fifteen minutes had passed before you got a voice message from Jack.

You eagerly clicked play and instantly felt at ease with hearing his voice with your heart fluttering.

I promised you I would do this for you since Brandi told me one day that you would literally listen to my music or interviews that I've done so you could fall asleep. Gotta admit that shit is cute so I did this for you.

Y/N, I love you so much and I'm so thankful and grateful that I have you in my life. You always show me how much you support me and you never let a day go by without telling me how proud you are. Every time your name pops up on my phone, I still get butterflies and shit. Just like when we first met. I have no problem telling people how much of a simp I am for my wife and I know you're the exact same way. Whatever life may throw at us, I know we'll be able to handle it baby because I got you by my side. I know I tell you this all the time but, you literally complete me and make me a better person. In these past ten years, I have fallen more in love with you every single day. We may have small disagreements and argue from time to time but, this shit is forever and our babies will have the best mother that they could ever ask for. I see how hard you go for me, so I already know you're gonna go ten times harder for them. Every single promise I made you, I plan on making them happen and you already know you want for nothing as long as you’ve been with me.

With all that being said, I literally cannot put into words how much I love you and this is literally just the tip of the iceberg. You know I can talk about you for hours and PG constantly get annoyed with me when I do. But anyway, I love you and I’ll be back before you know it.

Get some sleep baby girl.

Tears were cascading down your cheeks as you finished listening to it and immediately sent him a text.

You- 🥺🥺🥺

Smush- Oh shit you're crying aren't you?

You- YES BECAUSE I HAVE THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD

You were then getting an incoming Facetime call from him and you quickly answered.

"BABY! That was meant for you to go to sleep, not to cry!"

"I know! But you know how I am!" You responded between sniffles.

"It's now less than 24 hours and I'll be back. I don't like being away from you but this is the career I chose and you wouldn't even let me stay home with you anyway."

"You damn right. You have worked too hard for this shit and there is no way you're letting up now."

Just then Urban came into view and was eyeing you seeing the tears.

"Jack, if you made by best friend cry I will beat the shit outta you."

"I didn't even do anything!"

"It's happy tears Urby! No need to fight him."

"Mm hmm, it better be. I'm watching you." Urban said to Jack as he walked away from behind him and Jack immediately rolled his eyes.

"OH AND Y/N, WE ARE SUFFERING WITHOUT YOU HERE! I CAN’T WAIT TO BE HOME!”

“URB, SHUT UP!”

“HE IS ALL WOE IS ME AND SHIT AND KEEPS SAYING HOW MUCH HE MISSES YOU. LIKE GOT DAMN WE ALL MISS HER BUT SHIT.”

You couldn’t do anything but laugh at what Urban was saying as you saw your husband roll his eyes.

“It looks like it wasn’t just me who was missing you.”

“I always miss you when you aren’t near me. You know this.”

“Even after I just leave to get something for two minutes, you’re screaming at the top of your lungs for me to come back.”

“Do you blame me?”

“No, because I’m the same way.” You replied while shrugging and moving your bear closer to you.

“I love you now go to sleep.”

“I love you too and I promise that I am. What time will you be here?”

“Soon.”

“Babe! I need a time to come and get you!”

“You don’t need to worry about that. All you need to worry about is getting sleep so you have enough energy for me.”

“NO! IMMEDIATELY NO!”

Urban.

“URB, SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU ALREADY KNOW I’M ABOUT TO GIVE HER MY UNDIVIDED ATTENTION WHEN I GET BACK!”

“You know I stay ready for you.” You replied while getting settled underneath the comforter and laying on top of Jack’s pillow.

“Is that my pillow?”

“Yes, it smells like you so I need to have it near me to help me sleep.”

“Aww babe.”

“GROSS!”

“Is this the same person who almost had a mental breakdown when he thought we were getting divorced?” You ask your husband and he immediately started laughing.

“Exactly! He so fake for that shit. Talking about gross but your ass signed us up for therapy and everything.”

“I don’t like the Urban slander that is happening so imma head out. Yall still nasty though.”

“And we’ll be that. Shit, my wife fine as hell.”

“Stop smush!”

“I call it like I see it and forreal this time, turn off the light and go to sleep.”

“I promise I will.”

“I can’t wait to see you mamas.”

“Me either.”

You woke up and noticed that you were now laying on something hard and you immediately knew it was your husband and that he was back.

You glance at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was around 11 in the morning indicating that you had slept for close to nine hours.

The most that you had gotten in days.

Jack had the television on a low volume in the hopes of not disturbing you since he wanted to make sure that you got enough sleep as possible since he already knew that this past week had been a struggle for you.

Sophia was on his lap and promptly hopped down off the bed deciding that her dad wasn’t interesting anymore despite him being away for an entire week and went to find something else to entertain herself with.

Jack then look down to see you peeking up at him and smiled down at you before kissing your forehead.

“I’m so happy you’re back.” You said while snuggling into him more.

“Me too and I’m happy you actually slept.”

“I listened to it one more time and then I instantly fell asleep.”

“I take it if our kids are anything like you I’ll probably have to do the same thing for them.”

“More than likely you will. So what are we getting into today?” You asked while looking up at him.

“You already know what we’re getting into.” Jack answered while promptly reaching under your his shirt to begin to massage your left breast and you immediately smirked.

“Fine, but you need to feed me first.”

“I will, after I have my breakfast. Been waiting an entire week for this.”

“Wait, what? So you’re about to get food and not feed your wife?”

“I’m about to feed you this dick once I get done with my meal between your legs.” Jack replied while sliding out from under you and positioning himself between you legs and you couldn’t help but to laugh.

“You laughing now, but about to be begging me for mercy in less than five minutes. Spread em.”

He didn’t tell have to tell you twice.

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#jack harlow #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x you

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polyhexian · 1 year

Text

Actually fuck it it's 1am and I'm ready to- well, not trauma dump, but I'm gonna be mad about shit that's not polite to talk about in public or whatever. Hi everyone welcome to my transformers shit post blog

Anyway. So most people are not aware I have siblings because I never talk about them and that's because I haven't willingly spoken to my sister in seven years because she's an abusive narcissist and out of her fucking mind violent. But that's not important I bitch about her lying about having fuckin lupus despite the fact it's already killed enough of our family as it is. My brother I talk about even less and you know why??? There's literally no way to talk about him with modern social politics without pissing someone off. My brother is six years younger than me, low functioning down's syndrome/autistic. He's 23 now, nonverbal. I changed diapers until I moved out of my parents house at 17. 24/7 supervision, radio ankle monitor for safety, blablabla. He's visibly disabled. You look at him and immediately know he's disabled so like. I can't even begin to tell you the amount of places I've been kicked out of with him

Every time I see people get into fucking identity politics about like "low/high functioning" hurting their feelings it makes my lip curl, and I know I'm irrationally mad about it but like. What else am I supposed to be? Chill? Did you know "disability" is only for people who weren't born disabled? You only get disability if you're able to work and lose that ability. If you were born disabled? Go fuck yourself. There's programs and whatever but they all fucking suck donkey shit. My family didn't get a cent from the government to help take care of a severely disabled child until he was fucking nine. My brother is deaf AND blind. Like. Come on.

And finally when we did it's still like. Fucking nothing. At one point it was like... I dunno, 600 a month plus some shit like boxes of useless bargain bin diapers? Most importantly we got a certain amount of hours from like a medical care facility. Like, special babysitters, essentially. Fifteen hours a week maybe. Like great thanks that's super helpful. I was scrubbing shit off the walls when I was twelve. Thanks for the fucking help. My brother is difficult and strong and can be occasionally violent when he doesn't get his way. We went through every goddamn care worker in town. I remember at 15, after my dad left, my mom was like. Too depressed to do shit and so it fell to me, terminally adultified child. And because my brother is so difficult the hourly pay for working with him was higher than other clients, so their workers were always super interested in working with him. But I'd answer the door and I'm a tired angry fifteen year old and I know they're going to know the second they look at him why he pays so well and that it's still not worth it to them. So I used to open the door and say hi, my parents aren't coming to meet you, I'm in charge and I know how to forge my mom's signature. I'm tired and I don't want to waste my time with a bullshit interview. Come in, meet him, and if you decide this isn't going to work within like five minutes, that's great, fine, I get it, whatever. I'll sign off on your sheet that you were here for the full hour, so you can just go home and get paid for coming and I don't have to play grown up pretend bullshit for an hour of my time. My mom HATED that I did this but like nine times out of ten they left after fifteen minutes. They weren't worth my fucking time.

Eventually we did legitimately. Straight up run out of people willing to work with him. The company didn't send us anyone new because there wasn't anyone and because we didn't use the fifteen hours a week we got for two weeks in a row the government cancelled his entire benefit system and put him back on the waiting list. The one he was on for nine years, remember? We had to sue them over it to try and keep from losing the little they gave us and the company was so fucking butthurt about it that they called cps on us. Childish bullshit.

I've been kicked out of restaurants and movie theatres and stores and fuckin. Roller rinks or arcades or whatever kinds of places exist because he's disabled and scary and a lot of work and loud and messy and people don't want him around. It makes me bitter and angry and venomous. You wouldn't even recognize me around him. I know I can be a bitch on the internet sometimes but irl I'm soft and timid a lot of the time. I don't like talking to strangers. But you drop me in a room with my brother and I turn into a snarling fucking animal and the second I sense disgust I'm going to make a fucking scene. I've yelled at people in restaurants. What the fuck are you staring at?? I'm so sorry, is my brother enjoying his meal disturbing you? Good thing I don't give a shit. I'll embarrass myself and everyone else in the room without giving a single shit. One time I literally stormed on stage during a high schools talent show for disabled students to scream at a teacher backstage. No subtlety. No politeness. I stood up and I climbed up on the stage and stormed through the curtain. I can't fucking control myself. The anger has built up over the decades and it spills out. How fucking dare you.

And what am I supposed to do with that? That's not inspirational. It's not polite. It's not a nice story. It's "I love my brother but he's incredibly difficult and the government and society as a whole has gone so far out of their way to make keeping him safe and happy extraordinarily difficult that I'm always ready to get in a fight over it with anyone who gives me an excuse." People don't like stories like that. I don't want custody of him when my parents die and every single qualified care facility and group home in the state has refused him because he's categorized as "dangerous" because he can be physically difficult. So he just gets completely abandoned by the world who says wow that sucks but tough shit. Maybe just die about it?

I literally can't post photos of me with my brother without people thinking I'm fucking like baiting or whatever the fuck, like, white knighting my disabled brother for sympathy. As if I'm not just memeing with my family or some shit. And then I can't complain or I'm an ableist. It's easier if I just shut up and don't talk about it, isn't it?

Internet disability politics doesn't and has never given a single rancid shit about low functioning disabled people. The absolute zero sum most at risk people in society. What am I supposed to do when my parents die? I literally cannot take care of him physically or financially and he can't leave the state without losing benefits. I don't live there anymore. I have to uproot everything and go home? Or what, turn him over to the state so he can deal with the, what, 65% chance of sexual abuse that happens to nonverbal low functioning disabled people? Be fed dog kibble and left to rot in a piss stained mattress for days? I've seen these places. He can't talk so they can do anything they want to him. No one is going to stick up for him. No one cares.

It boils my fucking blood just to think about. I don't want to hear any woke ass takes about functioning labels from someone on Twitter if they've never materially contributed to the well being of a low functioning disabled person in their fucking life. Those terms aren't for you asshole, they're for them, because they need more help and protection. Tired of trying to keep up with the politics and labels placed upon my family member by people with no stake in the suffering at the end of the stick they're poking him with. It's all so easy in theoreticals but what if "what happens to my brother if my parents die" is a question that's loomed over your head for a decade without an answer? I'll listen to your thoughts on the matter when you Paypal me ten dollars so I can send him some more scarves to stim with.

People hate messy uninspiring stories so they would rather you just shut up and stop reminding them about it. Literally I think if I still lived down there and one more restaurant manager asked me to leave I would fucking stab them

#nate is ANGERY and yelling into the void #only not the void because its pointless if no one hears your shouting #so you know like whatever look at me all eyes on me im a super special boy attention seeking or whatever

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faggotslime · 3 months

Text

- November -

Me: hey LL my heat hasn't been working

LL: try draining the radiator, here, you can even have the key Incase you need to do it a few times if the heat stops working

Me: ok

- December -

Me: hey it's not working again, draining the radiator didn't help.

LL: oh, y'know, the furnace struggles when it gets reeaall cold out :/ sorry

Me: ok

- January -

Me: hey, it's not working again, tried the radiator, nothing.

LL: y'know a factor might be that the guy below you has his heat turned down a bit, that usually helps keep it warm

Me: ok

- February -

Me: hey the heat isn't working again, drained the radiator, didn't work.

LL: damn, that sucks. I bought you a heater meant for a camper van during fall nights tho, we cool?

Me: uh? Thanks I guess? I'll just buy my own heater, return that please

LL: uh?? Ok then

- three days later -

Me: any word on the heat issue?

LL: my heat guy kinda just swings around whenever, sorry :/ I did mention it to him tho

Me: um. Ok then.

LL: how's your heater working tho?

Me: I've been staying at a friend's because it's too cold even with the heater.

LL: um... Ok.

- The next day -

LL: hey we tried to check your apartment but it's locked? That sucks.

Me: ... I don't leave my apartment unlocked?

LL: oh, it usually is.

Me: um? No? It isn't?

LL: oopsie, silly memory. can I have a key?

Me: ok? yea. No prob.

LL: I'll just let myself in whenever heat guy comes.

Me: I'd prefer to be there or have my partner there, I'm not comfortable with y'all being there without me.

LL: oh :/ that might be hard to schedule ://

Me:.... Ok then. Fine.

- less than 24 hours later -

LL: hey I checked your pipes to make sure they're not frozen and drained the radiator. Haven't heard anything from heat guy

Me: (*set up a camera the night before*) I tried that already it's definitely not a draining-the-radiator issue... also, he's not there? And you're in my apartment? did you turn my heater on?

LL: yea, it's on the highest setting possible and completely unattended in your apartment :). Oh also idk who told you to drain the radiator but that's bad to do ://

Me: ok... Anyways, I didn't consent to that, that's my heater and that's dangerous. Checking the pipes I understand, but that's my heater.

LL: oh I'll go back in and check it :)

Me: I did not consent to that and have already expressed that it makes me uncomfortable that you're in my apartment without me there and I do not want you there without me present.

LL: ummm??? This is MY property?? And the apartment needs heat???

- after I go home to find the radiator making an ungodly burning smell hot as fuck nearly maxed out on its heat setting, so I take it to my friends. Literally 20 minutes after I leave my apartment and she was home and didn't say ANYTHING to me-

LL: hey, figured out the issue. Didn't tell you we went into your apartment again, heat guy came tho and the part is coming tomorrow.

Me: you're being fucking for real with me rn?

#vent #fuck landlords #be so for real

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alltheselights · 2 years

Note

Every day I get more disappointed in how disrespectful the majority of this fandom is towards Louis and his feelings. It’s hard to watch and makes me incredibly sad how quick they are to dismiss any of his wishes.

My feelings about leaks are nuanced because generally speaking, I don't really care about them and I don't think they affect much. I do listen to them and I have been guilty of sending links privately to people on several occasions where this has happened, so I am by no means an innocent party in all of this, just to get that out of the way.

When Harry's House leaked, I thought that really sucked for him but I also recognized that it would have no impact on his career (and it didn't, his sales were astronomical) and that Harry has never really shown anger or upset about leaks in the past. On One Night Only NY, he was joking around with fans about how they already knew the lyrics when the album had come out less than 24 hours earlier. While that doesn't excuse the fact that the leak happened, I do think it means that it's not the end of the world for Harry.

With Louis, it's a bit different. Firstly, he has been EXTREMELY vocal (like more vocal than I've seen any other artist be) about not wanting his unreleased songs out in the public and about being upset about song leaks. He has said this directly to fans. He's a perfectionist, and I think it genuinely upsets and bothers him when imperfect songs are put out into the world (like demos) or even when his finalized songs are released in a way that doesn't match with what he wanted. I also think that while maybe this leak won't do anything because it seems like two of the songs are just demos and only one will be on his upcoming album, the reality is that for Louis, a leak of his album prior to his release actually could have an impact on his sales. A lot of this fandom that claims to love Louis does not actually buy or stream his music, and Louis doesn't have a lot of locals to make up the difference. So I suspect that a lot of the fans giving streams to a leaked version of some of his songs three months before its actual release will not ultimately buy or stream the album when it counts. And that is really frustrating. I also think the fact that this leak is happening on the heels of his album title, cover, and track list being posted prior to when he wanted it to be only makes it sting more. At this point, Louis will have very little that he can genuinely surprise fans with or release the way he wants it to be with his second album and I can't even imagine how upsetting that is for him.

I also think that the level of glee that this fandom shows toward leaks, whether they're Harry's or Louis', is really problematic and needs to stop. I've also been guilty of this in the past. Do I think that Louis likely helped leak Home back in the day? Yes. Do I think that means that the boys have approved of every single other leak? Absolutely not. I think the fandom claims that "oh, it must have been him leaking it," or "oh, this was done intentionally as promo" to try to absolve themselves of any responsibility in spreading these leaks. I don't think there's any evidence since the boys went solo that they did the leaks themselves or approved of them in any way. And I think that's a hard truth that a lot of fans don't want to admit.

#asks

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tragic-cottonball · 2 years

Text

Back in my boring little High School home town. Being here gives me bad vibes, which is sad because this is where my parents live and I want to see them more often. I've been here less than 24 hours and already want to leave. So glad I don't live here anymore.

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nathank77 · 1 month

Text

4/3/24

8:48 p.m Updated/Edited/Slightly Added to 9:16 p.m

I took the 1MG and passed out rapidly. I slept for about 5 hours. I needed to pee and I couldn't fall back to sleep bc of it so I took a Benadryl... and slept until 4:45 p.m.

So my doctor sent me the paperwork to get my hsv2 test. I scheduled it for Friday.

My endo called me today when I was sleeping and he wants me to try the Atorvastatin again and stop if I get muscles spasms again. He said my thyroid ultrasound went well. Yet there are two nodules so I'm confused. Are they talking about my 3 year inflamed lymph node they always scan and the original nodule on my thyroid?

Also they said nothing about my eye exam... Maybe that means call the eye doctor cause he already did it? I'm going to call the eye doctor tomorrow.

Anyways I woke up at 4:30 p.m. My new Ray-Bans will be here tomorrow, as well as all my boxers/socks and my new shoes. The nerdy rimless are still in, "the works." EVGA received my package and idk if they shipped another.... the RMA is, "complete." But I don't see tracking and never got another product. I'm going to call them tomorrow.

I decided I needed to go grocery shopping as the weather today sucked but will be the same tomorrow. I had therapy at 7 p.m. There is a huge puddle around my car and my engine has been ticking, so I had to put oil in it. Idk if it resolved it bc of the hail and shitty weather. I used the whole bottle and didn't see anything on the dipstick... I'm sure there is enough. I know I haven't done an oil change or filled it in a while and my car has 7 oil leaks. It usually needs oil once every 2 months or so. I will find out if it fixed the ticking on Friday when it isn't a fucking monsoon and I can hear my car.

The puddle was so bad that it was taller than my shoes plastic bottom. Water sunk into my sneakers and soaked my socks all the way up to the top of my feet. So I had to go to Walmart and stop and shop like that.

I only grabbed the necessities. I need a decent amount of stuff still but I'll be good until Friday. I'll go to Quest, then grocery shopping and then cvs for my Xanax.

I got home changed my socks and shoes and attended therapy. Mike was saying my report isn't formated correctly.. I'm going to read the thing he sent me but I have put a lot of work into it. He was like you don't need a notary, ummm yes you do I called and talked directly to the office and I need to have a notary so the people I listed can release information.... I'll read what he sent me but I'm pretty sure I did everything right. He said I need bullet points and headlines... I don't think that's true...

Either way it was a generally ineffective therapy session. Not the worst one. I'm not mad but he said you got to make sure you do it right otherwise they won't even read it.....I'm pretty sure I am doing it right.

Beyond that he said something concerning, once I report her it will be available publicly... Idk how true that is but if it is, I mean I still need to do it for my internal peace and suffering... I'm concerned about that.... but I can't let her live her beautiful life and potentially endanger another client... she truly is negligent...

He also said benzodiazepines are going to get phased out in 10 years like quludes... like bro please stop giving me anxiety. They are the only reason I fucking sleep.

I feel like the first 35 minutes was the Mike show. I can't wait to leave. I'm going to give him maybe a month, I need him to read the report so he knows what I said. I'll still read the website he sent me but I'm 90% sure I did everything right.............

Anyways now that I've had a little time to go over my test results I took pictures of everything concerning. I'm the most concerned about my Alkaline phosphate jumping so high within like 15 days... I'm concerned about a few other things but I got to do my research. It's funny cause I'm on less Methimazole than I was before. So in theory it's likely not the Methimazole or maybe I'm going into remission and I need to stop it idk....

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gormfullray · 3 months

Text

The story of my depression

Gonna be a long and earnest post. It's not really the sort of thing that's really fit for this public of a medium, but I don't really have anyone in private to speak it to, so better to scream into the sky than into the void I suppose. Gonna do my best to minimize the life-storyness of it and focus on the relevant portions, but since my presumed audience is that of the complete stranger a decent weight of context is going to be necessary before I'm able to get to what I actually want to talk about.

I hit my all-time-so-far low in August of 23: a period of severe depression, continual suicidal ideation, and daily cannabis consumption which lasted until late January of 24. I'd have called it rock bottom, but as far as most folks are concerned I'd probably already been at rock bottom for a while by the autumn of 2023. Autumn of 2015, around the time I turned 16, is when I think I first really checked out on the whole living-life thing. I don't really know whether before that time I was displaying signs of depression, but 2015 and 2016 is when my condition deteriorated to it's long-term resting point. The people in my life, my parent and my family and my teachers and my classmates, there's no way they could have failed to notice the worsening of my condition, the life draining out of me with each passing day, but no one ever said anything, or atleast not to me. By the end of my time in school it would have been blatantly obvious that I was in severe need of help, beyond pure attendance I had given up on any pretext of involvement in school even as I was still legally obligated to attend it; the charitable read of it I've come to, if only to give me peace on the matter, is just that no one knew how to approach the subject of the dead autistic boy gathering flies at his desk. Additionally, the punishments I was receiving from the school, on account of having stopped turning in any work to speak of, completely segregated me from the rest of my peers, with whom I had perhaps fifteen minutes of permitted socialization a day; I had no contact with anyone outside of my household outside of school. Some time in the winter of 15 or spring of 16, later into my 10th grade year, was my last day in school; I didn't say goodbye to any of the few people I spoke to, I simply went home that night the same as I ever had, and never left my house again. I didn't feel happy, or free, or really even relieved to never have to go there again; I just felt tired.

At that point myself, my parent, and my sibling were all still living in the one room basement apartment of my grandparent's home, where we had moved in after leaving my other parent. In the corner of the room I had a little desk and a bribe Alienware laptop, and when I would wake up I would get on it, and I would sit at my desk for twenty-four hours, and then I would sleep for eight hours. I didn't have any friends and there wasn't anywhere to walk so I wouldn't ever leave the basement except to occasionally use the bathroom or scrounge for food, always well after everyone was asleep if I could manage it, and if I could not manage it then I would more often than not choose isolation over eating. Any routine of hygiene I may have had as a kid didn't survive the transition, one less chore to pull me away from the trance of my 32 hour lifecycle; I always justified it as simply not being relevant since no Humans spent any meaningful quantity of time around me, but the truth is I just didn't have it in me to maintenance myself. Any exercise was likewise a nonstarter, and eventually so too did food become something I may at-best force on myself; today at 24, I stand at around 5"8 and weigh in on a good day at around 115 lbs, but I'm getting way ahead of myself.

Congratulations on making it this far, most of what's left is filling in the dates between then and now, because the depressive period described...never concluded. My 18th birthday happened to coincide with my small family moving into a home of our own, and the child in the basement became the adult with their own room. It was actually the first time I had ever had my own space, my own door, and I would spend the next few years never leaving it. Between 2016 and 2021, I probably left the house twenty times or fewer, and probably showered fifteen times or fewer. I simply spend every day trying as hard as I could to distract myself as completely as I could, and staying awake as long as I could so that I spent as little time as possible with my thoughts as I tried to fall asleep. The wake-sleep cycle I lived on, for years, was well over 24-hours; every "day" I would wake up and go to sleep 2-8 hours later than the previous "day", and over the course of a couple of weeks I would have had a bedtime at every hour of the day. To myself, I conceptualized this lifestyle as killing as much time as possible, years spent just waiting for something to happen.

October of 2021 is when everything (but also nothing; it'll make sense what I mean) changed for me, which has a sort of cosmic irony to it I suppose: year everyone couldn't leave their home, I left mine for good, and left Indiana for good. World's full of the strange and the sick, and I suppose I'd spent enough years waiting that something wound up happening: I met a very generous person on Discord, and they agreed to let me come live with them in Massachusetts. I'm not proud of it, in truth it involved a great deal of dishonesty in regards to the sort of roommate I'd make, but this person was kind enough and sick enough to think letting me come live under their roof was a good idea. For a moment it felt like my luck had turned around, like something akin to whatever saviour delusions I had told myself up to that point had come to pass, but in truth there wasn't even a honeymoon period. My parent and sibling had moved out of the house we had once shared by 2021, and transitioning from living alone to living with a bunch of strangers was difficult for me, but by the end of 2022 I had returned to the same basic routine of life. The change in circumstance, living with and spending time with honest to goodness other Humans, was change for the better; in retrospect, it was an incredibly dumb and risky move, but I'm happy I made it, if only because living with other people made me go back to living on a 24-hour wake-sleep cycle (even if I still don't have it lined up particularly well to day and night); but it wasn't all good. For the purposes of living life, I essentially lived alone, and my eating and self-maintenance would only become worse. I had thought coming to live in such an urban and walkable place would more substantially change my lifestyle, but after two more years of self-isolation I have only found myself more afraid of the outside world and the strangers in it.

I first used cannabis in 21 or 22, I'm not sure exactly when, but it was fun, and I would have some a couple of times a week with my friends in the apartment, and that went on for a couple of years. But eventually one quit, and then so did the other, and before long I realized I was doing more alone than I had ever done when I with them, and when I received a particular piece of news in the middle of August of 2023, I stopped being able to make it through the day without it. I'd wake up in the morning wishing I hadn't, wishing I didn't have to exist in the world I lived in, in the body and brain I lived in, and where once I would once play fast games and loud music for eighteen hours at a time to drown out my thoughts, instead I started using the herb. From the period of August to January, I woke up every morning dreading my own existence and despising my own life, and every night I would get as high as I could to drown the feelings of depression and anxiety that I had lived with all my life.

My daily usage ceased on the second of February. I smoked socially with friends yesterday, and after I finish writing this I've decided that I'm going to smoke tonight before I go to bed. I don't really want to, I don't like what it makes me, or how I live. I don't like that it makes more sense to drown my brain than to let myself just be sober.

The reason I wrote this is because I hoped that a saviour would take pity on me and rescue me from myself. Rescue me from the holes growing in my teeth, from the cage I keep myself in. My initial intention was to conceal this fact, and that the only inkling of it which may be visible would be the hidden little "Massachusetts" at the end of the tags, which would somehow entice some prince or princess charming to take note of my proximity and sweep me off my feet. I am telling you this now because I am lucid of how delusional I am for hinging everything on that same sort of fantasy, the same sort of fantasy that 15 year old kid would tell himself in his cat-piss sheets in that Indiana basement. On being willing to drown my sorrow and wait another decade.

I originally wanted to end this on a questioning note, as I do a lot of my posts, a vague gesture into the night sky for the hope that the future might hold. But I don't know if I have any hope in the future. It feels like all thats left to do for Project Ray is to try and stop myself from going any more stretches of time getting high every day, but I dont know if theres anything I can do about the feelings that make me feel like I need it. I hate my life. I hate living every day of my life behind my desk in my room. I hate easy my life gets to be while my friends work their asses off to keep a roof over out heads. I hate skipping the one bowl of ramen I eat a day because I'm sick of it or because I'd rather get high instead of eat. I hate eating nothing but ramen and soylent.

It feels like every day since I was 15 I've woken up wishing I hadn't. I wish this wasn't my life. I wish there was a way out. That's what drives me to go on nonsense tirades about hippie busses and revolutionary Parties, I think. The only thing Ive ever wanted, my entire life, was to escape my life.

#thank you #my tumblr is linked on my discord so it's possible someone I actually know has come accross this #but I dont actually think any of them really pay that much attention to the goings on of ray #my DMs are always open #depression #weed addiction #massachusetts #desperate cry for help

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kris-mage-fics · 9 months

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So I've been a stressed bunny the last several weeks, and it's all because of this little nugget:

Okay, it's not Jade's fault that she fell ill. I've just been very worried about her. But thankfully after multiple tests we've found what was going on are are working on treating it. While it isn't curable, we should be able to slow the progression. It's been a little over 24 hours since she started medication and there are already clear signs she's starting to feel a little better. Though I'm probably going to be anxious until Jade is fully stabilized, and I don't know how long that will take.

(I know this isn't important, but I'm slightly annoyed by the colors being off in both of those pictures. The first one is too yellow, and the second one is too blue. Not annoyed enough to be motivated to do anything about it, just complain about it, lol)

I'll put more under the cut, in case some folks don't want to read about a kitty being sick for a while. And fair warning, I'll mention drugs quite a bit. As a former pharmacy technician the differences between human and veterinary medicine is interesting to me. Also this got long because I don't know when to shut the fuck up and used it to work through some of my emotions.

In late spring we switched Jade's food to try and get a handle on some digestive issues she's been having. While the new food treated the issue, it made a new one. And then she started to eat less and lost weight. Concerning when she was only about 4kg/9lbs to begin with.

So we took her in to the vets on Monday, they did some tests and called with the results after she was home. (Jade is an anxious cat, and when the vet wanted to keep her overnight we declined. She'd eat even less in an unfamiliar place than at home.)

The tests made it clear that she has renal disease (kidney disease). Obviously that isn't good. But it's at a stage where it's treatable, so we should be able to slow it's progression and get her feeling better. She went back to the vet yesterday for more tests, and she also has a UTI (there's no way we could've known this, she wasn't showing the typical signs). So we have to treat that as well.

We are switching her to kidney-friendly prescription food, and have antibiotics for the infection. I have to give her anti-nausea medicine for the next few days. And medication to stimulate her appetite. The vet gave her some of the anti-nausea medicine and the appetite stimulant yesterday, and she's already eaten a lot more since then!

(More detailed drug talk, feel free to skip. I'll note when it's over.) First off I always forget how expensive veterinary medicine is compared to human medicine. I see the names of some of these drugs and think "that's an old drug and it's pretty cheap" then I look at the receipt and my eye twitches! There are a couple of reasons for this, even if a drug is made for both animals and humans, some of it is made by different manufacturers. And veterinary medicine is used less, so higher costs. Also, there doses and formulations that we don't use for humans. Since that's more specialized it also drives the price up. (That said, if there is a medicine prescribed for your pet that's also used in humans - get it at a regular pharmacy, it's way cheaper! Check drugs.com to see human drugs and doses.)

The anti-nausea medicine is a pain in the butt because it's a small tablet that I had to cut into quarters. Now I have lots of experience with cutting tablets into quarters, and it almost never goes well. Sure enough, it partly crumbled and broke into five pieces. *sigh* (Halves are usual fine, especially if it's smaller and already scored, you can break it with your fingers.)

What's amusing to me is the appetite stimulant is mirtazapine, which is an antidepressant for humans! When I saw that I was like "wtf, why are we giving her an antidepressant?!" It's also weird, because instead of a tablet, it's a creme/lotion (which isn't even available for humans). And I have to put 0.05ml on the inside of her ear and rub it in while gloved. The placement makes sense, lots of capillaries in the ear to get it into the bloodstream, not much fur to get in the way, and it's easy to get to. It's such an interesting delivery method that I never would've thought of.

It's interesting the different doses between humans and cats. So for mirtazapine the dose for humans is 15-45mg once a day. The dose I'm giving Jade is 2mg. Considering the huge weight difference between the average adult and cat, that's a lot! But most drugs have to be given in much higher doses per body weight to cats than humans. (Drug talk over. Let's get back to our regularly scheduled post about our little Jade.)

We should be able to get the infection cleared up, and the other medications and diet change should keep her feeling a lot better. Though the vet said we might have to use the appetite stimulant on and off because renal disease can really nerf their appetite. But at least it isn't giving her a pill. I have lots of practice at giving cats pills, but Jade makes it so hard. Baby, please I'm just trying to help you!

Thankfully we are in a position where we can afford all these tests, medication, and special food. That wasn't always the case. Though if things get bad enough she needs dialysis, we won't be able to afford it. I looked it up and it's very expensive. Plus we'd have to travel at least an hour away to get to the closest place that even does dialysis for animals. I'm hopeful we can stave that off for quite a while. Though I'll be honest, there is part of me that worries that this won't work. I'm trying very hard to ignore that part and not get bogged down by negativity. Once we get her stabilized I'm sure I'll be doing a lot better, but for now it's a bit of a mental/emotional struggle.

Before all of this Jade was a happy and healthy senior cat. She's a very sweet, silly, and loving kitty. Even though she's least 12 she still played with toys, and chased her tail. We are going to do everything we can to get her back to that.

#sorry if this is kinda a mess - I couldn't bring myself to proofread it #and sorry for this being so long and going off on a weird tangent about drugs for 4 paragraphs!#but I think in a weird way focusing on things like the differences between human and veterinary medicine helps me cope #we are doing everything we can for Jade and it will probably be okay #just in the meantime while she still isn't feeling well it's hard and I can't help but worry some #I'm trying to stay positive and hopeful #sick cat #Jade

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northropi · 9 months

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Executive Dysfunction is fuckin killing me.

It's so difficult to do anything unless I'm forced to. Even though I have a few hours at home on my current schedule I can barely use it- I can barely use the actual weekends, even. I've made some nice art progress this past week but still slow, and I've barely touched games for a long time.

It's been ages since I touched a multiplayer game except for brief games with friends. Not even sure there really are any left. Biggest candidates are TF|2 (probably through NorthStar) and the other TF2, though the second is actually sorta more intimidating.

Everyone talks about having thousands of hours as a prerequisite to being good. That sounds like a product of both an elitist old guard playerbase but it's kind of true, the game relies a lot on map memorization at higher levels, which even if I *had* the time, is something I just kinda suck at because, uh... The aforementioned Executive Dysfunction. Yeah kinda makes it hard to think in terms of directions.

I could go back to MWO and probably will but that game fucken sucks. AC7 doesn't count as an online multiplayer game it's either a party game or just pain.

But even more than that I just have the biggest fucking backlog. I think I already said I need to finish Signalis. Have not touched it since the first time I got a decent way in. I want to, just haven't. Sometimes I want to but I want to do another thing more and feeling like I should finish Signalis for the sake of it versus the thing I want to do more at the moment that's less pressuring just causes me to implode and sit there all night doing nothing. I don't know.

Part of this, of course, is also just existing how I have to exist here. I have to basically live on call 24/7 because my family always *might* need me to run out and do something right that second with no warning at any moment until they fall asleep. It can be multiple times a day on weekends, and once or twice during the week. It's impossible to schedule and I can't really say no because they're small asks and I'll get chewed out for not doing them.

Just kind of sucks.

#rant post #vent

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feyda-forever · 2 years

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hello, I hope you're having a good day/afternoon/night <3

I got the confidence to finally do an ask-

but anyways I wanna know if you can do any ( creepypastas of your choice -If you can you please add Toby it's optional ) x reader that is self-conscious about their wavey/curly hair

If you don't wanna do this it's okay I understand fully! (p;w;q)

WOW!!! This is the first time I'm getting a request for HC and I'm very excited :D

I hope you enjoy it <3

Wornings: none ig...?

Proxies x self-conscious wavey/curly hair s/o

Toby

Toby probably is one of the least out of the pastas/proxies that cares about there s/o's looks, he just wants someone who feels sympathy towards him, someone that understands what he's going though everyday.

He'll brush your hair with his fingers as he whisper sweat little compliments if he ever founds you getting insecure about it.

He sometimes lose his cool, i mean how dare you to be insecure about such a beautiful and priceful gift?

He's not the best with words but if you ever needed some comfort he'll take you to the closest rooftop and will cuddles you as you two enjoy the beauty of the sky.

When he gets mad his ticks and Tourettes will became worse than it already is, that normally happens when someone makes fun of you. Tho they basically ends up dead till the next 24 hours. lol.

He'll try his best to stay away from you when his personality changes cause of his disorders but still you should be careful when you see him acting wierd!

Hoodie

Hoodie is that type of person who'll give you hundreds of picky nicknames and it's not only cause of your hair but your personality and literally your everything.

He'll grab you by your waist and carry you around the House whenever he gets bored.

Hoodie might tease you alot but he's always on tour side even if you're wrong.

I'm like Toby, Hoodie's a .aster manipulator and he's not afraid to use this fact on You, whether it's for himself or for your own good, tho he rather honesty when it comes to you.

Late night drivings happens alot but mostly when you need some comfort and motivation or just had a bad day.

Hoodie is a slight person and he can figure out what's on your mind in less than a minute, so don't be surprised if he came up with your favorite type of candy home cause some people thought it would be a funny idea to mess or make fun of you.

Masky

Now now... we're gonna have some difficulties with this guy...

Well Masky is a pretty stressful person and he's not afraid to take out all this rage and anxiety that is happening inside him on someone else, which makes him to be furious and hurshful almost all the time.

Well good thing, he has a soft side only for you, And if he ever notice you being anxious about your beauty he'll warp his arms around you as he tells you "you're the prettiest thing I've ever put an eye on sunshine." Or any sweat sentences that can come is his mind.

Sometimes he makes you're favorite meal or just take you out for a walk in the forest.

Tim knows how to play guitar a little, he ever finds you thinking about your insecurities he'll play it for you just to distract your mind outta negative things.

And i gotta mention, teasing or making fun of you is basically a suicide wish without them knowing it.

Alright I'm sorry it took so long for me to make this, I've been struggling with exams and some personal things in life so yeah... :>

But I hope you enjoyed it!! And remember that you're perfect no matter how you look, i mean your look doesn't even matters, what matters is the beauty of your heart <3

#creapypasta #creapypasta x reader #creapypasta x you #creapypasta x y/n #request #masky x reader #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby x y/n #ticci toby x you #masky x y/n #masky x you #mh masky #hoodie x reader #hoodie x you #hoodie x y/n #mh hoodie #ticci toby

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etheraella · 3 years

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Lies Between Ties || Part I ||

(Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader)

Summary : Y/N and Draco caught themselves in an arranged marriage by their parents, they both try and act like a happy married couple infront of their families, when in reality they made an agreement to not cross each other’s space and treat each other as ‘roommates’. What happens when one unknowingly gains feelings?

Warnings : No War/Voldemort!AU, Arranged Marriage, Slowburn, Unrequited Love (?), Angst, Arguing, slight cursing.

Your eyes widen in shock, not believing what the woman you respected all your life had just said. You scoffed in disbelief as your mother puts her welcoming hand on yours in comfort. "Very funny, Mama."

She frowned, holding back a smile. "Y/N, this is not a joke, I think it's for the best if you marry him, Narcissa-"

"I know she's your friend, Mama. But I don't even know him, we've never exchanged a conversation, and it's best if we keep it that way." You got up ready to leave the conversation. Unfortunately, your mother grabbed your wrist softly before you could do so.

"Y/N please, the Malfoys can give you the life I could never give you, and I'm getting older, sooner or later when I'm gone, somebody is going to have and help me look after you. At least with the Malfoys’ I know you'd be in good hands." She confessed with sadness in her voice, the grip on your wrist getting firmer.

"Please don't say that, ma. I would want to get married but not anytime soon. I've only just graduated Hogwarts, and who's going to take care of you?"

"Your stepfather is retiring soon, we'll just be here at home and you can come visit us after you and Draco have settled,"

You squinted the moment Draco's name left your mothers lips. Sure, the two have never said a word to each other, but he was known for his boastful and rich background. Everyone in Hogwarts would've known the Slytherin Prince. Though, that never interest you. He probably never knew who you were anyway.

"I never said I agreed to it." you finally said not meeting her gaze.

"Francis and I have already agreed to the Malfoys, dear. The wedding is to be held in 3 months, please Y/N for the sake of mine, you'll learn to accept Draco and there's no doubt the two of you will be happy together." She smiled kissing your forehead lovingly before getting up to leave.

“but with what certainty?”

the words were in a whisper that were only heard by you.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

The sound of birds chirping and peaceful leaves rustling filled your ears. Memories of the conversation filled your head. Out of everyone in the whole world, why Draco Malfoy? What does he think of this ridiculous arrangement? With less than 2 months, the two of you have never met since you saw him back at Hogwarts, and tonight would be the first time the two of you would meet after the marriage conversation. Just then you heard the sound of footsteps and your mother appeared in the doorway.

"Come inside and get ready, dear."

That night, you sat opposite of Draco for dinner, you daren't lift your gaze to meet his. You knew the moment he entered your living room with a boring expression that he wasn't excited or fond on meeting you, or to even be wed to you. Well, so were you.

"Y/N, why don't you have a walk with Draco by the lake?" your mother says suddenly, smiling brightly between you and Draco.

"Yes, Mama" you say politely returning a fake smile, trying your best to hide your annoyance.

You walk with Draco in silence and you open your mouth every now and then trying to start a conversation. You didn’t realise the difference in your heights until you were side by side, Draco Malfoy was taller and much broader than you remember.

"Malfoy-"

Draco stops, meeting your eyes before averting his gaze to the lake on his left.

"I’m not sure It’s wise to use surnames considering the situation we're in.”

Taken aback, you were surprised he was even suggesting this, the Draco Malfoy in front of you seemed more mature than the Malfoy you knew of in school.

"And what situation do you take this as?"

"- A situation that shouldn't happen in the first place. If you only hadn't agreed to it."

You couldn't believe your ears at his absurd accusation. His voice calm but firm at the same time, looking at you as if you're something a cat dragged in.

"Me? You think I want to marry you?" You gave a short laugh. "Your parents sent the proposal first and you blame this on me? For Godric's sake, I don't even know you nor do I have any feelings for you. I'm only following my mother's desires, Draco Malfoy."

"I can guarantee you, the feeling’s mutual." he said through gritted teeth followed by an awkward silence as two of you continue your walk. You stared at your shoes with each step, trying to think of a sentence that will make him help you cancel the wedding. You couldn't bare marrying someone you don't love, especially someone with a big ego like Draco’s. No, never in a million years.

"Mal- Draco, I didn’t intend to ask you upon this favour, as we both know how ridiculous this arrangement is. Please convince Narcissa and Lucius to call it off. It's not too late, considering you're a man-"

"As much as I would love that, Y/N. I would never want to break my mother's heart, I don't bloody care if you call it off, it's perfectly fine with me. We'll discuss this again after the wedding." He said, rolling his eyes and walking back to the house leaving you alone.

You blink in shock, your eyes following his walking figure, his silver blond hair visible under the moonlight. That bastard! Why would he think it's any better after the wedding? Sighing in disappointment, you slumped on the bench facing the lake, the darkness of the night swallowing you.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

"You are to be MARRIED to Draco?" Jane's eyes widen in shock, she stood up facing you, her pupils searching for yours trying to find mischief. To her prevail, you were dead serious and that got her sitting back on the chair slowly.

"But - I thought you wanted to be a healer-"

"I do, I can be a healer while married. I wouldn't need permission to pursue my dream career, would I?" You sighed, staring at the wand in your hand. Jane has been your best friend ever since the two of you got sorted in the same house back in Hogwarts. You wanted her to be your bridesmaid. Knowing how grand the Malfoy's are, it makes sense how big they want this wedding to be, considering Draco's the only Malfoy heir. You didn't know what to think of it, ever since you were a child, you had always dreamt of how you wanted your wedding to be, you didn't mind how the reception would look, how flowy your dress would be, as long as it's with friends and relatives, and a person you're in love with.

Jane was silent for several seconds. "Oh Y/N...but Draco Malfoy?"

"YES JANE! What other Dracos do you know of?" You roll your eyes in irritation, hating the fact of being reminded of marrying a bloke like him. Jane sighed and looked at you with sympathy,

“But, I’m afraid your mother’s right.. there’s no denying the Malfoys are rich-“

You snorted. “richly arrogant”

The silver band on your ring finger brimmed. The mere thought of you being engaged was still unbelievable, so is the oncoming wedding. Feeling frustrated, you terribly wanted to pull your hair out.

“Jane, I have an idea.. perhaps on the wedding day, you could wear a long veil and take my place instead-“ You randomly suggest.

“Y/N Y/L/N, Are you mad? We both know your absurd schemes are never going to work,” Jane smiled sadly, gripping your hand in hers.

You sighed in disappointment, praying deep down the wedding would be disastrous or a random fire would begin before the vows, yes, it was a childishly dangerous thought but you were willing to escape this arrangement without hurting your mother’s feelings.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

On the wedding day, of course the unfortunate events you hoped for didn’t occur. You weren’t as devastated as you thought you would be when you woke up that morning, wrapping sheets of mattress around yourself. It could be that you were finally accepting your fate, you groaned at the thought. In 24 hours, you would be ‘Mrs. Malfoy’, how grand.

The dress that was altered for you was beautiful, you couldn’t take your eyes off it. The white material felt light and gorgeous under your fingertips. Jane had repeatedly told you how breath-taking you looked, you didn’t deny that.

Before the event began, Narcissa had come in your dressing room with an amber green leathered box. Seeing your future mother in-law made you awfully nervous, even if you weren’t whole heartedly willing to marry her son. You quickly pushed the guilt away when she cupped your hands in hers.

“Oh Merlin, you look lovely Y/N,” She said with a smile before opening the box, revealing a heavenly beautiful bracelet the Malfoy initials carved in golden. You let Narcissa gently put it on you telling you of the Malfoy heirloom’s history. The bracelet was given to wear on special occasions, the heirloom given down to each heir on the wedding day.

The piano started playing as you entered the hall, guests arise to their feet, staring at you in awe. Your mother stood at the end of the hall with Francis; happiness laced with sadness painted on her expressions, seeing her only child in white walking down the aisle. Your eyes wander along the decorations in the hall before landing on Draco. He looked undeniably handsome, his platinum blonde hair neatly combed as always, expression unreadable.

When the rings and vows were exchanged the hall erupted in an applause. You looked up to see Draco looking at you with a fake smile etched on his face, the sounds of cheering suddenly muted. It was all an act, you remind yourself.

A/N : —Luna here ! I decided to start a series ;) and..a special appreciation to Celeste for being my trusty editor !! If you enjoy this please reblog/share 👉🏼👈🏼🥺. We made a taglist form that can be found on our bio and here [x].

Taglist 🏷 : @amourtentiaa

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nomunamuinmybrain · 3 years

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Work you out (M)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Rating: M

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 2.4K

In collaboration with the lovely @alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn94

Disclaimer: if you are under the age of 18 please know that this contains heavy sexual themes and mature language.

Summary: Working for Hybe has been an experience. Being Jungkook’s manager is another story. His sharp eyes, firm jawline and snarky attitude was a deadly combination to begin with. The guy easily found his way to your heart and you simply couldn't take it anymore.

Thinking back to how I managed to land such an unimaginable employment opportunity must have been a miracle. Unquestionably, working for HYBE had so many benefits; I swore to never leave this place. Sure, I was a simple manager's assistant, but I was by the side of one of the managers that handled the most important talent in the stretch of South Korea, the entire globe to be honest, BTS. I was assigned the position of assistant to the manager of one of the guys, none other than Jeon Jungkook. I really couldn’t believe my luck. Not only was I a part of one of the most skyrocketing influential enterprises in the country, but I also had the chance to meet some of the most inspiring people in the whole world! Who would have thought?!

Did I have a crush on the guy by the end of my first month working here? Yes, but who wouldn't? He is the sweetest, always polite and courteous. I've met my share of self-boasting asshats; this industry is flooded with such. This guy is worth billions and he has remained ridiculously humble. Word got around about him being a wonderful young man and I could positively say he is so much more up close. Jungkook is ridiculously handsome that’s a given already, but his personality was the real deal-maker. He reminds me of a dark stormy thundery night where I cover myself with my favourite warm fluffy blanket starring out of the window a rich flavored hot chocolate in hand.

In general, I quite enjoy working at the company’s principled environment. Don’t get me wrong, nothing in this world is rainbows and butterflies, but overall, I can confidently say that it’s been a mainly positive experience. Thankfully, the department I am in is assembled by kind, funny people who like to get things done. There hasn’t been a day were I regretted coming here. As for my daily duties as an assistant, working for Jungkook meant keeping up with his appointments, helping him with anything at anytime, managing his schedule, making sure it matches with the other guys' and so much more. I was required to work around the clock and as a single independent woman in her late twenties who was trying to figure out the world around her that didn’t sound like such a bad idea, though I digress. Essentially, I was one of the employees responsible for pretty much anything and everything he needed. Our department was at his disposal 24/7 running around, living that busy life.

That's until the pandemic struck. That was the first time I thought to myself that this might be nature’s valiant plan to get back what man so forcefully took from her. Suddenly, everything was canceled; life got put on a hold. My dearest supervisor, Jungkook's manager, had to stay at home because he had kids. In fact, a lot of people had to stay at home. Abruptly, days became weeks and weeks became months. The desperation and frustration we were feeling was like nothing else ever experienced. Truthfully, it felt like something had been stolen from us and we could never get it back. In this manner, when the gears finally started grinding again I was assigned to be the on-site manager for Jungkook. That meant being in direct contact with him more so than before and of course, being responsible for a ton of other obligations.

Not going to lie, the first months were slightly awkward for both of us and understandably so. We both were used to very different working arrangements. I might have been working behind the scenes before, but now I had to step into the spotlight becoming his own personal shadow, and I am sure he wasn’t really comfortable with that. Taken into account the current situation everyone looked like a volcano ready to erupt.

Once, I happened to accidentally step in a not so common incident; maybe it was a circumstance I wasn’t supposed to witness. He was on the phone at the time, when I saw him. That’s why I decided it was best if I stayed behind the half closed door of the studio. I couldn’t hear what he was saying and it was none of my business after all, but I could tell by the minute I laid my eyes on him that something was wrong. Something had been bothering him; irritation written all over his face. He was pacing back and forth, phone still on his ear. He was clenching his fist so hard I wondered if his nails cut into his skin. He was breathing heavily, almost as if he would burst and his muscles grew tense.

Then, in an instant, it seemed that the call ended and as he was putting the phone in his pocket he slammed his fists down onto the table a loud bang echoing in the room. After some consideration, I knocked on the door to make my presence known and he sharply looked at me. Without having the chance to say anything to him he let out a loud growl and left the room leaving me dumbfounded and unaware by the door. Soon after that, he apologized for the way he acted confessing that he had an unfortunate falling out with one of his closest friends and at the time he couldn’t process what was happening. I would never forget that day. It was the day I came across a not so familiar side to him.

From that day forward, things miraculously became easier and Jungkook was way more relaxed around my presence, we joked around often and he even texted me to ask about a variety of things outside of regular working hours. We managed to develop a teasing relationship full of endless borderline flirtatious banter. He had this other side to him that only a selected few got the chance to know. Jeon Jungkook was indeed a comforting raging night, but he was also an infuriating playful mischievous brat when he wanted to be. This in all honesty, made him a hundred times more irresistible in my eyes.

Life was going on smoothly until Jungkook decided that taking after midnight trips to the gym was perfectly acceptable, insisting that I escort him instead of his bodyguard. I cursed every single time but I went anyway. Forty-five minutes after midnight he was lifting weights, unbothered. Taking secret short glances towards him I contemplated what I had done in my previous life to deserve this torment. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t care less about the late hour, but to have this view in front of my eyes was causing me both mental and physical pain. The guy was clearly sculpted by the gods. With his broad chest, muscular arms and thick thighs he could have anyone he ever wanted. He even sported an hourglass figure; He is insanely unreal. That’s the main reason why I decided to sit there preoccupied with a silly game on my phone to kill time until the suffering ended. I was barely hanging from a string at the verge of blowing off the barrier between my personal and professional life.

Out of the blue, with a loud grunt, he dropped the weights, drawing me out of my contemplation. He looked annoyed for whatever reason. He tried his best to seem nonchalant but it was obvious, in his beautiful stern eyes. Could he be craving for an audience? Abandoning every rational thought I had, I put my phone away, looked in his direction as I got up to get water. I smirked at his clear annoyance. Surely, we weren't supposed to interact with the artists this way but I am cranky and sleepy, and for the first time ever, he was being kind of an ass to me. Was I perhaps the reason behind his sudden personality change? The thought kept floating at the back of my mind.

This kept going on for about three weeks or so and I gave him nothing. His annoyance prominent in his expression, more and more as the weeks went by. He was hot but I am sure all he had been seeking was an audience given that he missed it, or so I thought. Thursday evening rolls around and I was particularly iffy tonight ‘because I was extremely frustrated, sexually. This one was making my situation worse, sporting a tight black tank top and skinny grey sweatpants which made him look like a treat. He could easily pass for a bodyguard with those broad well-built shoulders. As my eyes scanned his body I realized this was the first time his tatted sleeve was on display. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander. By the time I was done his eyes were already fixed on mine and I turned away immediately, embarrassment written all over my face.

Seeking solace in the women’s bathroom I tried to extinguish this ravenous yearning. The feeling of cold water did nothing to help the burning desire that was building inside me. Without warning, a knock at the door was heard, his sweet angelic voice following "Are you okay?" he asked, the remnants of a smirk could be heard still. "Jungkook you cannot be here, I am okay. I'll be out in a minute." I exclaimed, as calm as I could. "It's been ten minutes. I can't continue unless you're there." He insisted, I heard him chuckle after that.

With that, it was now or never, I pushed the door’s handle and made my way outside rolling my eyes in the process and he caught that, quickly moving closer, clearly annoyed, jaw clenched, eyes taking in my features, making him look not quite intimidating but definitely interesting. No, it was my mistake. Not just interesting, he looked ravishing. "As I said, I'll be out in a minute. Then you can finish up" I argued. But he didn't budge, moving even closer, if that was even possible, he was almost a breath away. "I don't feel like working out anymore" he declared like a child whose toy was taken away from him. As if I chose to play heads or tails with my career, I poked the beast further, "What is it that you want to do then?" I asked making sure he heard the annoyance in my tone. Coming even closer, to the point where he was completely pressed up against me, "You" he uttered calmly yet authoritatively. Before I could process what he had just said his soft lips crushed mine with a vengeance, thirsty. Pulling my lip with his teeth, he kept planting kisses from my lips to my jaw trailing down to my neck and décolletage; a surprised panting left my lips.

It felt as if I had involuntarily awakened this beastly hunger within him. His kisses insatiable and his touch was possessive, "I've been thinking about this for so long" he confessed as he took my hoodie off. "Sitting there, not giving a word let alone a glimpse. If you think this is off-limits you're wrong" he growled pointing at himself. "I can guarantee that once we're done here you definitely won't be able to look at me, ever." As he said all that, he managed to get me in a compromising position against the sink, his slim waist in between my legs. He kept my gaze as he lowered his head between my thighs. Little shit kept giving me hickeys on the soft flesh of my inner thighs, so close to my now dripping core. He enjoyed tormenting me and it showed. I was helpless but oh, God was all of this hot. He licked a stripe over my soaked panties, "Oh baby, you smell delicious" and with one hand he took off my underwear completely.

He sank in my folds, letting a guttural moan that I felt vibrating through my core. Not being able to think about what was happening I let myself indulge in my carnal desire my hands tangled in between his luscious hair.

He loved food and I've watched him eat before, but this must be one of his favorites ‘cause he was doing his best not to let a drop go to waste; he acted like a man starved. His hands held me in place, thankfully, ‘cause everything was too much; nothing could stop me from shaking, feeling everything deep in my core, he was too much. He just had to be good at everything. He kept a torturous tempo, from sucking my clit to his sinful tongue penetrating me, and as tears gathered around my eyes he decided to add his slender fingers in bringing me closer to heaven than I've ever been. "That's it baby, let go. Let go for me" he exhaled and just like that I had the most intense climax. My limbs felt numb, my whole body felt like rubber.

Before I could register what was happening he was back at it, sucking my over stimulated clit, my thighs unconsciously closing around his head as oversensitivity hit. "One more, please, come on baby, you can do it" he begged. He kept pumping his fingers while sucking my clit, as if it was his only goal in life. My screams muffled through my own hand clamped on my mouth as I reached my high for a second time that night. I felt it take over me with such intensity I didn't register what had happened. He emerged from between my thighs, soaked from me squirting and with a proud look on his face he declared "Now I look like I had the workout of a lifetime".

He helped me get dressed and pulled me close for a soft peck. He must have noticed my concerned look because he wrapped his arms around me in a warm hug and said "Don't be scared about this, we can work it out. I really like you and I'd like you to stick around". Starring into his eyes, I nodded and he pulled me close for the sweetest kiss, trying to tame my bewildered hair. He helped me get dressed and got out the door first to make sure that no one was around. I waited for a moment and then I got a text.

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