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redbullgirly · 2 months

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HI BABRIE! HI KEN! [part 3, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x pregnant!reader [social media au]

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau] & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 2, LH 44 smau]

Summary: Lewis and his "real-life Barbie" girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N have a secret they keep from the fans. Though it's only matter of time before they announce the happy news... it's not like it can stay hidden forever anyways.

Warnings: Pregnancy. Slight hate and bodyshaming towards Y/N. If you're not in the right headspace, please don't read it!🫶

Author's Note: After quite some time, hello! I'm so sorry this took so long, but life has been so busy and hectic last month I simply didn't have time and energy to write this sooner. Though I'm very glad for everyone who waited for this part and I hope you'll like it. It's probably not the last one, I have few ideas for more parts. But I don't want to promise anything, we all know how long this part took XD.

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by orlandobloom, f1, sebastianvettel, emmawatson and others

tagged: yourcharity

lewishamilton So proud to support charity program for the involvement of children from disadvantaged families in sports yourusername has been working on for a few years now. All money raised from the friendly basketball match goes to the fond of the charity. Let's change lives of these talented kids together! 💫🙏🏾

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user1 basketball players should be grateful our king chose to be f1 driver 😌

user2 fr

yourusername together we can change the world for better!! 💫💕

liked by the author

user3 You make our lives better by existing Y/N😍😍

user4 I think this is too idealistic lol

user5 queen speaking facts and keeping us motivated

user6 LET HER COOK 🗣🗣🗣

user7 Sir Lewis Hamilton is Sir for a reason 👑

mercedesamgf1 🙏🤍

user8 even though he'll be driving for ferrari next year mercedes still supports him!!!

user9 and what did you think? that they'll ignore him or hate him suddenly? he still got a whole season w them 🤣 plus it's all marketing

user10 nah i'll just live in delusion that admin loves lewis & y/n🥰🥰🥰🥰

user11 I love how you use your platform to raise awareness

user12 omg he's so hot 🥵

user13 Wait, why is Lewis at Y/N's charity event instead of her? I usually support her, but this is just weird... why can't she stand up for her own thing?

user14 RIGHT?! idk why she didn't even bother showing there

user15 Honestly I think that Lewis going there brings more attention to it than just her going there, and it's a good thing people are noticing this organization. Though I don't understand why she didn't go there as well 🤷‍♀️

user16 guys stop wtf she could be sick or smth

user14 or she's just another attention seeker... never liked her tbh

user16 the only attention seeker here is u user14 get a life and stop hating 😘

user14 i'm not hating, i'm stating facts and unlike y/n i don't need a man to do shit for me lmfao

user17 Y'all are really getting mad over nothing xddd

user18 Amazing work! 👏 you make the difference, Lewis😍🖤💛

user19 the fact he has pink pants bc it's y/n's fav color and it's for a charity event she helped organize... i want a man like him 😩

user20 He's down bad for her!!!

user21 I mean... who wouldn't, just look at her🤭

user22 fr what i'd give to talk to y/n once

user23 Our fashion barbie iconic Queen 💖💖

user24 Lew giving the little boy a fist bump🥹

user25 he is going to be a great dad one day

user24 Oh definitely!🫶

user26 can't wait for dad lewis

user27 omggg imagine little him and y/n running around the paddock 😭😭

user26 they'll be sooo cute istg

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

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tagged: mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername japan grand prix w my favs 🇯🇵🤍

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lewishamilton 🤍🤍

liked by the author

user1 awww i live for bf lewis

user2 YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER

user3 and who would that be user2 ?? you? lmfao u wish🤣🤣

user4 the disrespect of writing these things under HIS COMMENT where he shows SUPPORT to HIS GIRLFRIEND...

user5 Lewis & Y/N 4ever 🫶

user6 omg look at roscoe baby so cute

user7 the teeth I can't🥹

user8 It's Roscoe's world and we're just living in it fr

alexandrasaintmleux so prettyyy 🙏🌺

liked by lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername oh stoppp u are prettier 💓💐

user9 Girls supporting girls and wags supporting wags... that's what we like!!!!

user10 the fact lewis liked alex's comment w two accounts is the best thing that happened this week😭

user11 shut uppp I didn't even notice it before user10 😭 he's such a simp I love this 😭😭

user10 i knoooow😭

user12 finally you attended a grand prix this year!!!!

user13 😍😍😍😍😍

mercedesamgf1 It's always brighter with you in the paddock Barbie Y/N!💖

liked by the author, lewishamilton and carmenmmundt

yourusername next time i'm going all out w the pink 💖🫶

user14 the legend herselffff

user15 Admin is slaying and supporting Y/N 💁‍♀️

user16 MOTHER IS SERVING ONCE AGAIN🧎🏻‍♀️

roscoelovescoco Enjoying's dad's racing's w my's best's mum's ☺️🏎

yourusername enjoying dad racing w my best son 🥹💕

user17 not roscoe slowly learning y/n's slang and saying w instead of with🤭

user18 and the fact Lewis is the one really writing it... !!!!!

user19 They're such cute a family🥰

user20 mum and dad and son... I can't it's too adorable 🫠❤️‍🩹

user21 Literally the queen of f1 and gorgeousness keep slaying

user22 where is the usual barbie aesthetic?!😥

user23 fr I want pink dresses not blue trousers

user24 Guys she can wear whatever she wants

user23 yeah true but still... she already built that image so why not keep it wtf 🤷‍♀️

user25 Covering her fat stomach with the purse ewww 🤢🥴

user26 i wanna take u haters seriously... but I just can't xd

user27 if you have anger issues like me and don't like online trolls, pls stop scrolling people! there are so many dumb users from twitter in these comments!🙃

user28 I just don't get why they're hating on Y/N all of sudden... what did she ever do to them

user29 idk, probably bcs she wasn't active for a while (she was probably not feeling well or smth as she said in an interview few days back) and didn't attend any gp till japan this year (again she was probably sick so understandable)... plus lot of f1 "fans" are jealous bitches change my mind

user30 Internet always moves in waves and one time everybody loves u and then they hate u 😬

user31 yeah but it's so sad cause y/n is such a sweetheart🥺❤️

user32 I honestly wouldn't care about the haters if they didn't attack her body and the way she looks... that's down right embarrassing and disgusting

user33 AGREED user32

twitter & messages between Y/N and Lewis

lewishamilton and yourusername posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, shawnmendes, t22felton, charles_leclerc and 27,925,028 others

lewishamilton It's hard to put into words how happy and excited we are. Can't wait to hold our baby in a few months and support my dearest love on every step of the way. Feeling blessed right now 🤍🪐

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc Well, that's a shocking news I didn't know about this time...😂

charles_leclerc But big congratulations!❤️

yourusername yeah we needed to give u heart attack w smth too 😉💋

susie_wolff Congratulations Lewis and Y/N, you will be great parents! 💫🫶

yourusername thx susie, we have great role models in u and toto!!! ✨❤️‍🩹

lewishamilton 🫶🏾🫶🏾

kellypiquet what a great news!🥹

yourusername love u kelly 💕

sebastianvettel Many congratulations!

lewishamilton Thank you Seb!

yourusername will u be the fun uncle??? pls seb 🥹🙏

sebastianvettel If you'll make me their godfather....

yourusername done deal 🤝

lewishamilton I-... fair enough, done deal

fencer EXCUSE ME?!! THAT'S NOT FAIR

charles_leclerc Yeah what is this favorism?!

yourusername guys it's seb how could we say no 😌✨

charles_leclerc True... fair enough then I guess 🙂

fencer I still feel VERY offended

yourusername charles don't use that ironic emoji on me and fencer u can have the second child

lewishamilton Darling that sounds like you're sacrificing our second child while the first one isn't even born yet...

yourusername whoops 🫢🙈

sebastianvettel Do you realize this is not a private conversation?

yourusername actually u can set selected comments private seb 😁

charles_leclerc Wait seriously?!

lewishamilton No, she's just testing if he's old enough to believe her 🙄

yourusername you're sour bc u believed me the first time i tried it love ☺️🫶

sebastianvettel This is exactly why I didn't have Instagram sooner.

charles_lecerc We love you Seb!❤️

yourusername yeah we do love u our new godfather!!!!💖

mercedesamgf1 Congratulations from the whole team!🤩🤍

liked by the author

alexandrasaintmleux awww so happy for both of u!💞

yourusername hope you're prepared to be the fav auntie 🤭💋

alexandrasaintmleux anything for my little nephew or niece hamilton 🫡

scuderiaferrari The next world champion on the way?😍❤️

yourusername pls i hope they'll stay far away from racing 😭

scuderiaferrari Well... then we'll at least get another tifosi 😉

georgerussell68 Wishing all the best mate!

liked by the author

landonorris Wooohooo congrats!!!

landonorris Wait- do y'all realize you'll be parents now? Like real REAL parents of an actual child?!

yourusername yeah lando that's how it usually works when u get pregnant 😊

landonorris Yeah but... wait! The child needs to be McLaren fan!

yourusername your mission to get all hamiltons to be your fan is getting more complicated, isn't it? 😂🫢

landonorris Shhhh Y/N it's a secret mission 🤫

yourusername oh my bad sry

yourusername wait why do i know about it then???

landonorris Ehhh... miscalculation?

yourusername tf lando 😭

lewishamilton I'm starting to think this baby will be our second child and Lando is our first...

landonorris Wow so can I officially say Lewis Hamilton is my daddy now?😀

lewishamilton NO

yourusername lando don't you dare or istg

landonorris Byeee parents!! 🤗

f1 Let's go! 💖👶

francisca.cgomes babyyyyy 🤎🍂

pierregasly Why the leaves?

francisca.cgomes bcs it's an autumn babyyyyy

yourusername love u kika 💕

pierregasly Oh congrats by the way!🫶

yourusername thx pierre 💕

logansargeant RAAAAAHHH 🇺🇸🦅

logansargeant Sorry alex_albon took my phone 😒 I wanted to say congratulations!🤍

alex_albon 😇

yourusername lol

yourusername but thx sm logan, you're such a sweetheart! 🫶

lilymhe I swear it'll be the cutest baby ever

yourusername babe it'll totally will if u say so 💋

kevinmagnussen 🙌

hulkhulkenberg Welcome to the dad's club on the grid Lewis! 😉

liked by the author

oscarpiastri What a happy day, congratulations! 🧡

yourusername what's the orange heart doing here oscahh??? 🤨

oscarpiastri 💖

oscarpiastri Better now?

yourusername thx oscar sm for the congrats!🥰 also you should use my signature heart emoji more often 💖

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by haileybieber, martagarcialopez19, mercedesamgf1 and 834,981 others

tagged: lewishamilton and alexandrasaintmleux

yourusername enjoying the barbie life 💖💐

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lewishamilton Beautiful, gorgeous and my Barbie!

yourusername awww my ken 💞🫶

user1 omg i love them sm

user2 I wanna have what they have

user3 the effect bf Lewis has on me should be studied 😩

user4 Just the fact he usually isn't active on ig and doesn't comment or anything... and she is the only exception😭🤭

user5 gorgeous literally so gorgeous

user6 The baby bump 🥹🥹

user7 and she looks so good with it too 🥹🥹

alexandrasaintmleux such good times hanging out with my fav barbie! 💋💖

yourusername the best times girly!!! 💕

user8 i live for this friendship

user9 Imagine these two next year in Ferrari garage together!😍

user10 literally the only good thing coming out of lewis leaving mercedes

user11 fr fr user10

user12 Are those flowers from Lewis???

roscoelovescoco Yeah's they'res from's dad's 🌻☺️

user13 OH MY GOD ROSCOE HIIII

user12 Can't believe Lewis Hamilton replied to my comment as his dog 😭

user13 lol user12 u really won life xd

user14 this is sooo cuteee 😻

user15 You and Alex look so good together! Hope you'll be friends forever!

kellypiquet where's the bag from? it's so pretty! 😍🤍

yourusername idk lew gave it to me for christmas last year... i'll ask and let u know!! 🤍🫶

kellypiquet 🫶

user16 The queens of the paddock right here 🙌

user17 still can't believe y/n & lewis are going to be parent in a few months

user18 RIGHT?! It's like a fever dream for me 😭

user19 Yeah i was excited for dad Lewis so long that now I can't believe it's finally happening 🤭❤️

user20 the best wag right here

user21 and soon the best mum!

user22 Ur STUNNING 😭💖

user23 Woman 💅

user24 proud to say i never hated on Y/N

user25 YES

user26 always knew she's the queen 👸💗

lewishamilton posted on instagram

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tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton My beautiful Barbie. The love of my life. My partner for good times and bad times. Mother of my child. The only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Y/N Y/L/N. 💖💫

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yourusername can't describe in words how much i love u lew!!! 💖💫

lewishamilton Love you too darling, so much!

user1 I can't 😭

user2 i wanna have what they have

user3 THE BEST COUPLE EVER

user4 if they ever break up love isn't real

user5 I'll tell my children they are the original Barbie & Ken

user6 my parents 🥰

user7 y'all don't understand how much i love them

user8 The best parents ever!!!!

roscoelovescoco Mums looking's gorgeous 🥹☀️

lewishamilton She in fact is.

yourusername my boys making me cry 🥹💓

roscoelovescoco Oh's no's mums don't cry's 🙁

yourusername don't worry baby it's happy tears 💞

user9 now I'm crying too... this is so sweet

user10 The reason they're my favs😍

user11 why is this so precious 😭😭

user12 so prettyyyy

kellypiquet Our Barbie looking like a goddess!💅🏻💝

liked by the author

yourusername thx kelly!!!💕

user13 she's fr glowing 😻

user14 Thought she can't get more beautiful than she was before but pregnancy proved me wrong

user15 MARRY HER

user16 we love bf lewis dedicating whole post to y/n 🤭🤭

voguemagazine 🤩📸

user17 ariana what are u doing here?!??!!

user18 Even Vogue is an Y/N fan and we love it

user19 y'all don't understand how bad i need her to be on the cover of vogue or some other magazine 😩

user20 OMG user19 SHE WOULD SLAY IT TOO HARD

user21 You should marry her now!!! 💍💍

liked by roscoelovescoco

user22 heyyy did someone else see lewis like it and then un-like it?!😧

user21 When the notification of roscoelovescoco liking my comment came up on my phone I nearly dropped it and screamed... like what? Excuse me sir!!! 😃

user23 LOL I love how he goes savage liking comments w his dog's account and then regrets it immediately xd

user24 guuuyyyssss what if it means we'll get proposal soon???☺️

user21 I wish!!!!

twitter

THE END

Author's Note: Thank you for reading it to the end! I'll be very grateful for likes, comments, reblogs and every other sign of support. Also you can let me know if you think baby Hamilton will be a girl or boy 🤭. Have a great weekend! (Btw if someone wants to talk about their predictions for Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, they're welcomed bcs I don't have anyone to talk to about it XD)

Taglist: @namgification @hc-dutch @bloodyymaryyy @nat-lh-44 @cosmoscoffeee @daniellef89x @xoscar03 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @nathalielovesonedirection @raizelchrysanderoctavius @leclerc16s @carpediem241108 @onecojg (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

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ashestoroses018 · 19 days

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Things Can Only Get Better Part 2

Originally posted in 2017.

It is late October, 1985, when your car breaks down near your old friend's house on a freezing, rainy night. What you thought would be an uneventful and awkward night with someone you've barely spoken to in over four years has, quite literally, turned your life Upside Down.

Steve Harrington/reader, one-sided Dustin/reader

18+

You're not entirely certain how it happened, but the next morning, you wake up in Steve Harrington's arms. At the moment, you're utterly frozen, not sure how to proceed. Do you wake him up? Do you go back to sleep? Do you try to wiggle out of his rather...enthusiastic grip?

It turns out you don't have the freedom to choose, as he suddenly groans, his breathing pattern changing. If you thought you were frozen before, you become something even more rigid, when he plants a sweet kiss on the back of your neck.

“G'morning, sweetie,” he says groggily. Does he think you're Nancy? You certainly hope not – they broke up over a year ago. At the same time, he's moving more than a little fast, if he's already calling you cutsie nicknames less than 24 hours after reconnecting.

“Uh, Steve? It's F/N, not whoever you thought,” you say quietly. “Sorry to disappoint.”

Your words obviously shock him, as he yanks his arm away with fierce apologies. You just avoid his eyes and smile a strained, awkward grimace-type-thing. “Steve, do you remember if we tossed my clothes in the dryer last night?”

He shakes his head. “I don't think they made it, with how hectic everything was. I, uh, didn't want to be in the bathroom longer than necessary. Seemed rude.”

“Well, shit. Thanks for not staying in there, but fuck. Do you have any clothes I can borrow?”

He licks his lips, meeting your eyes after a second. Heat shoots to your groin as you realize he is thinking things that are probably not entirely appropriate – things you happen to be thinking, as well, if you're being honest with yourself.

“Yeah, I do,” he says, after a moment, his voice rougher than you've ever heard it. “Just take whatever out of my closet. It's all bigger than you, though.”

Bracing yourself for the cold, you follow his directions, before going to leave the bedroom. Before you can head to his bathroom to change, there's a fierce pounding on the door, followed by Dustin's voice.

“Steve, where's F/N? I think Max needs help.”

Shit , you think. There's no way in hell you're letting those kids know that you slept in the same room as Steve effing Harrington. Your eyes meet the male's, and you shake your head furiously, hoping that he understands that you being here is a secret.

After a moment, he clears his throat, though it still sounds a bit rough from sleep when he speaks. “Hey, Dustin. You check the bathroom?”

“Uh...no, no I didn't. We all kind of just assumed that you two would stay together, 'cause, you know, she was here last night and all.”

“Well she's not. Go see if she's in the bathroom or in the basement. Laundry room's down there.”

“Uh, okay. Thanks, Steve.”

“Yeah.”

When Dustin's footsteps fade, you sigh with slight relief, until it hits you that you're going to have to change here or spend all morning sneaking around. “Um...can you turn around, Steve? I'm just gonna change in here and sneak out.”

“I'll do you one better, F/N. I'll just go ahead and go out. Just change quickly.”

You nod in agreement, trying not to stare at Steve as he stretches, revealing his abs. Good grief, how long has it been since you were last with a guy? It can't have been so long that you're drooling over Steve Harrington, aka the guy who is perpetually out of your reach, can it?

Last night, things had been too hectic for you to really notice, but Steve's clothes smell really nice. Shit, F/N. Snap out of it, you think to yourself, annoyed. Max apparently needs you, and it's far more important to focus on taking care of a young girl, who has a potentially life-threatening injury, than it is to dwell on feelings that you thought had gone away a long time ago.

Several minutes after Steve left, you sneak out of his room, wearing jeans, which are far too large and held up with a belt, and a blue polo. Luckily for you, it seems like nobody notices you leave his room, and you go to the living room.

“Hey, I heard my name being called,” you say nonchalantly. “What's up?”

“Max bled through her bandages. What do we do?” asks Lucas.

“Shit, are you serious? Let me see.” You walk up to Max, who is gingerly holding her arm out to you, a grimace on her face.

You thought you had done her stitches thoroughly – after all, you'd done 15, total. Even so, you take her arm in your hand and cautiously turn it over in your hands.

“So what's the verdict, Doc?” Steve asks in a faux-joking voice, the concern he is feeling over the girl more than obvious in his voice.

“I don't know yet. Max, did you scratch it at all? I don't want to take the bandage off unless necessary.”

“I don't think so, but I guess I might have in my sleep.”

You bite your lip, thinking. What was it your dad always said? Oh, right. Spotting and bleeding is normal, as long as it doesn't last. The bleeding doesn't look too bad – she only bled through in a couple of spots, so it shouldn't be anything to worry about.

“When'd you notice the blood, Max?”

“I dunno, maybe, like, uh...fifteen minutes ago?”

“Hmm. I'm gonna have you apply pressure for a bit, okay? First, let's change the gauze, just to be careful, yeah?”

She nods, so you guide her back to the kitchen, before grabbing the first aid kit from under the sink. “For future reference, don't worry too much about little spots. It's big spots you have to worry about, and if the spot gets bigger, put pressure on it. With a wound this big, it's totally normal to have spotting, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks a bunch, F/N.” She smiles at you, gratefully.

“So you're one of the new kids in town, right?”

She nods. “Yeah. You might know my stepbrother, Billy Hargrove. I'm Max Mayfield, by the way. Dad's last name.”

“That dick is your stepbrother? I'm sorry.”

She shrugs, before you shoot a glare at her. “Sorry. But anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm used to it, really. He's an asshole, but the guys and El make things bearable.”

“That's good. Where you from originally?”

“California. It's way different from here.”

“You miss it?”

“Nah, not really. I miss my dad, but I like it here a lot.”

“Even with the weird shit?”

She chuckles. “Especially with the weird shit.”

You snicker in response to her sarcasm. “Well, I'm all done wrapping you up. Pressure for twenty minutes, just in case, okay? Then I want to take another look at it.”

She winces. “But what will I tell my parents?”

You bite your lip. “I was second in the graduating class last year. Tell them I was tutoring you, and you forgot to let them know.”

“Holy shit, you're smart.”

“Not really. I just memorize shit well. Come on, let's go back to where everyone else is.”

Twenty minutes later, you give Max the all-clear. “Now that it's daylight, I should probably go try to fix my car, or at least call a tow truck.”

Steve grabs your wrist before you can leave. “Probably best to call a tow truck. You're absolute shit with mechanical stuff.”

“How do you know, Harrington?”

“You always were. Plus, isn't that the reason you didn't get top of class? You got, like, a C, or whatever, in Shop.”

“I'm not sure whether to be flattered, Harrington. You're right, though. Guess I'll call a tow truck. I'll ride back with the driver, though. My parents expect me home, and I'm not sure I can get my friend to cover for me again.”

“Wish you could stay to at least help explain shit to Hopper and Mrs. Byers.”

“Eh, you guys can catch me up later,” you say, fully expecting to never actually get the full story out of these people.

You were wrong.

#you #reader #x reader #xreader #x you #xyou #steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington x reader #steve harringtonxreader #steve harrington/reader #steve harrington x you #steve harringtonxyou #steve harrington/you

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set-phasers-to-whump · 1 year

Text

shatter

prompt: voice breaking

whumpee: peter sutherland

fandom: the night agent

hi hi hi!! sorry it's been absolute ages since i last posted, school was a Thing but i'm on break now so i'm actually gonna finish off this card at long last :) anyways i watched this show a couple weeks ago and really enjoyed it, hope you'll like this fic!

The first time they actually, literally sleep together is the night after Peter returns from wherever it was that the FBI had shipped him off to (information that Rose, apparently, is still not allowed to know). She isn’t expecting him: he’d called her from a burner when he’d landed in DC that morning, but he hadn’t said anything at all about coming out to California.

So she’s understandably surprised that evening when he shows up on her doorstep with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, his hair slightly damp from the drizzle outside.

As soon as she’d seen him pop up on her security feed, she’d gone to unlock the front door, and he doesn’t even have the chance to ring the bell before she’s opening the door and pulling him inside.

“Peter!”

She wraps him in a hug, pressing her head to his chest and listening to his heartbeat and just breathing in his presence. It’s only been a little over a month since they’ve seen each other, but the calls had been sporadic and short and anyway, nothing compares to having him here, now, slowly dripping water onto the tiles of the foyer in her small one-bedroom house with all the security features of a billionaire’s mansion.

“Hey, Rose,” he says against the side of her head. His voice is heavy with exhaustion and he’s leaning into her enough that she has to work to keep her balance. He doesn’t show any signs of letting go of her anytime soon, and honestly she’d be willing to stay like this forever, but she can feel herself starting to keel over, so she reluctantly pulls away from him before they both go falling to the ground.

For a few seconds, they both just stand there, looking at each other.

Peter looks terrible. During their one hectic week together (which feels simultaneously as though it had been years ago and just yesterday), when she knows he’d barely slept at all, he’d looked less tired than this.

There are dark circles beneath his eyes, almost black, one puffier than the other. Quite likely there’s a black eye hiding beneath the exhaustion. There’s a fresh scrape across the bridge of his nose and a yellowing bruise on his temple and he’s almost shaking - she can see it in the way his fingers grip the strap of his bag.

“You look terrible, Peter,” she says, trying for a tone somewhere between joking and concerned. She pulls the duffel away from him - he winces when the strap brushes his ear, though there’s no visible injury - and sets it down on the floor.

“Thanks,” he replies. She doesn’t know whether it’s meant to be a sarcastic acknowledgement of her you look terrible comment or a genuine appreciation for her taking his bag.

She’s about to ask this question, but something in the way that Peter is looking at her makes her hesitate. It’s his eyes, she thinks. Their unnatural shine in the soft light. How he looks simultaneously afraid and ashamed and just fucking raw.

“Hey,” she whispers, stepping forwards to grab onto him at the same moment that he all but collapses into her. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

She guides them both to the ground, leaning against the wall. Peter doesn’t say anything.

“Hey,” she repeats, more insistent. “Look at me.”

He does, but he still doesn’t say anything. He looks so miserable and so tired and she just wants to help but she doesn’t know how, doesn’t know what he needs, doesn’t know what’s wrong. She can make guesses, but she can’t actually - she doesn’t actually know how to help if he won’t tell her what’s wrong.

But she isn’t going to push him. She sometimes forgets that they’ve known each other for less than two months. She doesn’t know everything about him yet. Doesn’t quite know how far, how hard, to push. She’ll let him come to her.

He looks away from her again, stares at their knees pressed together, side-by-side. Then, at long last, he speaks.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“This?” For a heart-wrenching moment, she thinks that he means this, the two of them, and she braces herself for a blow that never comes.

“This,” Peter repeats, gesturing loosely to himself with a hand that is now definitely shaking.

Oh.

“Can I - What do you need?”

She’s never seen him look quite so lost.

“I don’t…I don’t know.” His voice is strained until it breaks on the last word, and Rose doesn’t let herself think. She just reaches out and wraps her arms around him, guiding his head to rest on her shoulder, and Peter freezes up for a fraction of a second, and then he just shatters.

He falls apart nearly silently, but Rose can hear the hitches in his breathing, can feel him trembling, feel the tears soak into her t-shirt.

“I don’t know what to do,” Peter whispers after a while, his voice rough and a little unsteady. One of his hands loosely twists the hem of her shirt, and Rose cautiously threads her fingers into his hair.

“You don’t have to know anything right now,” she whispers back. She imagines the Bureau might feel differently about this, but for the time being, it’s just them. Nothing else matters.

Peter shakes his head against her shoulder. “I thought I would like it.”

“But?”

He shrugs, sniffs. “I was good at it. But - the Metro bombing, the assassination plot - plots - it’s not…it’s not the same as this.”

Rose thinks she understands. There’s a difference between being thrust into something and jumping in voluntarily, between a day or a week and a month. Between being with someone and being essentially alone.

Peter doesn’t say anything else. At first Rose assumes he’s just thinking, and then she realizes he’s falling asleep.

“Hey, c’mon,” she says softly, nudging him. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Peter looks up at her for the first time in what feels like forever. His already-battered face is now tearstained, his cheeks and eyes pink.

“Sorry about all that,” he tells her, as the two of them get to their feet.

“Don’t even think about apologizing,” Rose responds, taking him by the hand and leading him to her bedroom. “I’d say you’re more than allowed to fall apart on me, all things considered.”

Peter doesn’t say anything to this, but he squeezes her hand and doesn’t offer up any resistance when she goes to help him out of his still-damp clothes and shoes.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Rose says, gesturing to the bed, as she leaves the room to sweep the house. She checks that all of the doors and windows are locked, makes sure the alarm and cameras are set, then grabs Peter’s forgotten duffel bag and brings it to her bedroom.

He’s almost asleep by the time she returns. One of his arms has been left outside of the comforter, and there’s a massive bruise on the elbow. She thinks about the various injuries she’d glimpsed while helping him undress and decides to spend some serious time cataloging them all in the morning, if only to make sure that nothing is seriously wrong.

For now, though, she just double checks the window above the bed, changes into her pajamas, and climbs into bed beside him.

There will be time for everything else tomorrow.

thanks for reading!! hope neither of them was too ooc, this is my first time writing them (but probably not my last). love you all (and sorry for the massive unplanned break lmao)!!

#bad things happen bingo #the night agent #peter sutherland #voice breaking #emotional whump #crying #held #comfort #my writing #i say things #anyways i have a lot of thoughts about peter and like him being sent off so quickly after All Of That and the adjustment period that must #come along with going from a basement to the Real Fucking World so quickly and with probably not a whole lot of training cause like #there's a massive difference between something happening to you randomly and you getting put into a situation voluntarily but also not #completely voluntarily if you get me. and so like. you really have to think about what it is you want and whether this is going to be #something you want to do. yknow? anyway.

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violetganache42 · 2 years

Text

College Graduation Update

This has been a long time coming ever since I started attending college 5 years ago, but as of the 13th, I have officially graduated! And I even fully recovered from the cold I caught last weekend in time for this big accomplishment. I would have gone to the graduation ceremony, but me and several other students chose not to because it took place at the college's outdoor football stadium. Since it has a large campus, it meant a shit ton of other seniors were graduating, making the ceremony a chaotic experience. Not to mention long because for some reason, instead of doing individual ceremonies for the graduates and undergraduates, they combined it into one and last from 11 AM to 8 PM. Yesterday's weather didn't help either because it felt warm and humid, so no doubt it would've felt almost oppressive to sit out in the heat for a while.

For these reasons, I've decided to keep it lowkey and celebrate it at home; we did a cookout for dinner. My sisters, brother-in-law, and one of said sister's boyfriend also flew in to celebrate, so there was a lot of socializing throughout the weekend. My diploma will be mailed to me, but I am glad I managed to get through these past 5 years. Despite the roadblocks I faced, it was a lot more tolerable than my high school experience. That's for sure.

Not me reusing this DSoD screenshot from my high school graduation post. XD

On that note, most of next week is going to be quite busy for me because Mom and I have a lot planned to celebrate my graduation. We will be leaving on the 17th to spend a few days in New York City. We're going to be seeing a few shows, including the revival of The Music Man starring Hugh Jackman! We had gotten tickets for it back in 2019, but the pandemic kept delaying it, so I'm glad we are finally going to see it. I'll be back on the morning of the 20th, but later that day, we are going to be seeing Garth Brooks. And again on the 21st. lmao Mom did think about selling the tickets for next Saturday's show after she saw he added another show the day before, but she never got around to doing it. Wouldn't be the first time we have seen someone in concert twice in a row. lmao

Sorry for not telling you this sooner; it was a busy and rather draining graduation weekend. The fact my graduation also took place the day after the last day of finals (the 12th) didn't help either, so between that and all the studying I had to do, it was rather hectic overall. Fortunately, all this fun stuff throughout the week will give me a much needed breather now that I am officially done with college.

See you later this weekend!

#my post #update #graduation #college graduation #class of 2022 #new york #new york city #garth brooks

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always-andromeda · 5 months

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hello my dearest darling meda!

I apologize for being away so long - life has been quite hectic of late 😅

but I just wanted to pop in and say that I've been reading your posts and I'm so sorry you've been going through a rough time 😔😔 but I'm also very proud of you for noticing the progress you've made!! 🥰

I also wanted to let you know that my edits for today were inspired by a post you made earlier this week (the one where you referenced "writer in the dark" by lorde). I was going to tag you but then I wasn't sure if that was something more personal, so I opted not to. and of course, if that is the case, absolutely no need to respond to this ask at all! I just wanted you to know that I saw that post and it reminded me of the concept of "hidden mother" photographs, which in turn inspired the edits. "writer in the dark" is such a good song and yeah that line hits really hard

anyway, I hope things will get a bit easier now that the semester is over!

sending you warm thoughts, huge hugs, and a few of my specialty sugar cookies with lots of homemade frosting and a ton of sprinkles!!

love always,

charlotte 💙🎨

Oh, Charlotte. 🥹

I am legitimately just...speechless. Like you couldn't have sent this at a more perfect point in time. I'm gonna keep the rest of my message under the cut so as not to clog up everyone's feeds.

But I do wanna tell everyone to go look at Charlotte's edits (version one; version two). They are so knowledgable about art history and the edits they put together are just so gorgeous and I highly recommend dropping them a follow. Please, please, please, I promise you won't regret it (especially if you're a Swiftie ☺️).

Okay, now, I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for just...being so kind despite how hectic things have been on your end. I promise, it's been a little rocky over here too lol. But it's a kind of hectic that has to happen in order for things to get better.

I will say that I am looking forward to next year. This year has been the year of a lot of revelations about myself and about life. Mostly just realizing just how deeply I've been in survival mode for the last couple of years. And this next year I'm looking forward to really starting to live more.

SO, long story short. It hurts now. But it's a good hurt; a necessary hurt. And we will be okay over here at Andromeda HQ lol.

And to cap this off, here's me letting you know that if my sad little Tumblr rambling ever inspired any more ideas, you are totally free to tag me in them!! Because sometimes I don't see your edits on my feed and gosh, I am always delighted to see them.

Thank you always for your thoughtfulness and your kind words, Charlotte. It means the absolute world to me. And here's to hoping that things are doing alright on your end as well!! I'm returning all of the hugs and warm thoughts right back at you!! And I've been baking up an absolute storm lately; so in my mind I'm sending a load of rice Krispy treats, brownies, conchas, and cookies right back at you!! Have a very happy holiday, Charlotte!! 🥰🎁💛

#˚ʚ ask meda ɞ˚#charlotte 🎨

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the-karasu-no-one-knows · 1 year

Text

Something about you...

youtube

Perhaps, since it's the new year, I might as well start writing again. I'm not sure how often I'll be doing this, but I'm going to give it a go since so much happened last year (2022). That sweet sea creature and I have formed quite the relationship. A relationship kept in secrecy. A friendship, bound in lust and respect; as well as a fling that is more permanent than not.

Knowing this person for over two years has been nice. It really blossomed back during the spring last year. When the very beginning of summer hit, things escalated to fantasies and sexual cybering. It's funny because I used to do that on a pretty consistent basis from 2000-2003. I met so many people then. It was hectic and I was known to be quite the "chat whore".

I hate using that term because I've never fit that description, as awful as it sounds. Those that knew me were EXTREMELY far and few. Andrew, however; knew that I was not the definition of that word. God I miss him. I think about you all the time Andrew. You were such a pivotal figure in my life way back and you will always have a special place in my heart. I'm so sorry I never picked you up from Durango. I think that if I had picked you up, my life would of ended up so different. Just know that I'm doing well and that I've come such a long way. I miss you and love you still.

As far as my sea creature friend, that attraction is strong. I still have my Sylveon and Kirito and now...there is YOU. I have these moments with you that I savor. These moments, as lustful as they are....I enjoy thoroughly. I know that if I were near to you, I would of already had seduced you in ways that I was known to seduce men with great power. Power financially and power in the roles that they played in government. Roles that I knew very little about but those roles were exceptionally important and wreaked of all things wrong.

I wasn't meant to really know their positions, I was just meant to obtain the information that they had in order to serve the purposes of those that I could give two shits about. I had my job and jobs to do and they never had any intention of showing me gratitude in a healthy and non-harmful way. The better I got at it, the more important of a person I was meant to seduce, fuck and take from.

All the information retained was given out by another alter. I think it's just time to start sharing but with a certain level of anonymity. I think I could tell my friend more and more through these Tumblr posts. I'll send him the links when the time comes. I can't imagine him using any of it against me. There is something about him that allows me and the others to share. Not sure why, but I'm halfway done with life so I might as well enjoy the other half for as long as I have it....right?

The crazy thing is that few nights ago in chat, two chatters (one that I know who's had a crush on me for 2 years now and a new chatter...at least to me) focused a great deal of their attention on me. Osi, being one of them, has had feelings for me for quite some time. He wanted to cyber but I just can't do that with anyone anymore. That was long ago. The other chatter (whom I can't remember his name) was very kind and was complimenting my looks on how I look healthy. He asked me if I had any New Years resolutions ahead of me and I told him I had started a multi vitamin a week or two ago.

He told me that for a 48 year old woman, I look really healthy. He also randomly told me that I look like an incredibly sexy "spy". I told my Sylveon about it and he wondered if it were someone trying to get info out of me or if it was something else that could be deemed as "sinister". I told Sylveon that I didn't feel like it was addressed to me in a manner that would seem provocative. In fact, I actually felt flattered because he wasn't off on his compliment.

I didn't dare mention it to Kirito because he becomes way too clingy and possessive in a way. I think it has to do with his age and a level of uncertainty and insecurity. The last time I mentioned being in chat, it went down VERY poorly. I refuse to mention that I'm in chat again and chatting with old and new chatters. As soon as he would find out, he would go on professing his love for me and expected it in return, which I really don't like doing. I love him but I DO NOT need to profess my love for anyone in a chat room of people I do not fully know.

That drives me a bit crazy about Kirito. That insecurity part can be really annoying. I see that with my sea creature friend's "online" partner. I've seen her express that he's at "the park" and other comments made that he most likely would not appreciate. I see her a bit like Kirito. A level of immaturity that I've never had personally. I've always had a good level of confidence. It was ingrained in me since the age of 3. I was exceptionally strong on and off land. It's how humans like me are created. We are shown that lacking confidence will only cause mistakes to occur on our tasks and assignments.

I look at that last sentence and I feel sick to my stomach, proud and angry. Quite a trio of emotions. I don't even have the proper chemical composition to understand them to their fullest extent. How fortunate it is and was for those needing someone to act without much care or emotion. One completely fixated on getting shit done. I don't hold it against my father. Things were different then and money can buy and create problems and scenarios that Hellywood make out to be "cool" and "hip".

That's one of the things that causes me to feel a great deal of anger. Hellywood making up stupid movies where women who weigh no more than 130 lbs kicking the asses of men who are twice to three times their size in height and weight. It's not 'Atomic Blonde' you silly fucks. Even Andrew knew that. You really did know that...didn't you Andrew? Where are you? I never even got your last name. I wonder if that was intentional? I've always collected the first and last names of those who crossed my paths.

There have only been a few people who's last names I never collected. The latest being my sea creature friend. Even within this blog, I will not utter anything factual about him that would relay a name of any kind or residence that could match my conversations with him. This so called 'Doxxing' is not possible with me because I was meant to not exist, yet the pain with being non-existent is there. Two birth certificates and possibly many others.

All I know is that my first and last name are real. I was allowed to have all that comes with it 17 years ago when that part of my life died....half way. I left that world at 29 but continued to dominate the lives of men who I deemed "only worthy of what I needed" and when those meetings happened, I always got what I wanted and I didn't care about the pain that I caused them because I knew what I wanted and they had less than ten minutes to give it to me.

I left faster than they could of even spelled the word "what? That one postal worker [John] tried very hard to get me to linger for either breakfast or dinner. I would call him at 4 am in the morning, demanding he be prepared for me to come over for a sexual encounter. Nothing more and certainly nothing less. He was reliable all the time. The others before him were fairly cheap if I had to put a cost to them. One of them actually tried to persuade me to not allow him to use a condom.

I told him that he had 5 minutes to figure out that either he capped it or I would be gone before the 4th minute came and went. Of course he put it on and continued to drip sweat all over me because he could not achieve his orgasm in a timely manner. I gave him a few minutes and then he finally had his moment. The only thing that was worthy of that night being mentioned was that he had an awesome German Shepard that I loved petting and giving kisses to.

What a simpleton.

I very well could of killed Alex. Then again, I've never had to worry about what happens to my clients. mentally and physically. The relationships that were in my fathers life took care of all of that. I should of saved the environment and ended him. What a waste of space that kid was. Bleh. To think I saw his face on the local news a year after and I showed him to my Sylveon.

This is where I am meant to be. This is the world I live in. A world that I worked hard at living and maintaining to the best of my ability. A life that seems fairly normal. A pretty normal civilian life. I completely went off tangent here. As one can see....I lose my train of thought due to wanting to say so much but feeling like I have very little time to convey it.

Don't worry my little sea creature friend. I'll share more with you and focus on you a bit more next time.

#Youtube

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idiashrub · 3 years

Text

Is it insensitive for me to say? - Idia Shroud

Idia fails to keep his promise to his little brother and is now feeling like the biggest disappointment there ever is; (Y/n) is there to be the 'somebody' he refuses to admit that he needs.

important note(s): This takes place after the events in Idia's robe personal story! // contains very subtle implications of ch6 (nothing detailed or specific) // (Y/n) is Yuu —she/her— is also implied to have been transported to Twisted Wonderland a year earlier, so she's the same year as the second years.

a/n: This has been sitting in my drafts for a while now, so why not post it here? May this be my official debut in the twst writing community here on tumblr! Hope you'll like it! <3

word count: 2.6k

Her fist gently came in contact with the door, emitting gentle knocks that echoed through the empty hallways of Ignihyde.

"Idia? It's quite late but I was hoping to see you," she called a little loudly, waiting for a response.

Minutes passed but silence was the only thing that addressed her presence. No sounds of buttons being smashed together, no raged muttering and heavy sighs of frustration to indicate loss, nor were there yelps of victory. It was complete and still silence.

Maybe he wasn't in his room? Rarely does Idia ever leave his room, but that didn't mean it didn't happen. So (Y/n) turned to look at the hallway, hoping to catch a glimpse of his familiar long flaming hair, presumably returning from a late-night stroll — a silly thought now that she thinks about it.

Ding!

The phone that rested on her pocket vibrated.

im fine

you can leave now

im better off alone <message deleted>

She pursed her lips, thinking of what to say.

"Well, sorry to say this but I'm not leaving. Come on, Idia, it's been a while since we've last properly spoken or seen each other!" her hand mindlessly tapped on the door, following a random rhythm, "I was given a short break from having to attend to everyone's needs, so might as well spend it with you!"

"…"

Nothing was going to be accomplished if things remained like this until the next couple of hours. She didn't even want to pry answers out of him, she really just wanted to see him and talk about whatever. They weren't really able to contact each other as much during break because of the part-time job (Y/n) took at this village nearby. And even as the students returned, the weeks leading up to the ceremony had been quite hectic; having to help the others, she had to cancel numerous plans she had with Idia — their supposed weekend movie nights, game tournaments, and whatnot.

She just needed to see her beloved's familiar yellow eyes. She missed joking about how the bright color contrasted his gloomy personality…

A click echoed through the silent hallway when she gently pushed the door, much to her surprise. She didn’t expect the door to be left unlocked, especially if Idia was inside, most likely feeling down.

When she continued to push it more open, the familiar interior of the dorm leader’s room came into view. There she saw the dorm leader of Ignihyde, Idia Shroud. He was lying on his bed, looking somewhat jagged and sullen with his headphones on. She wondered how he managed to hear her calls if he was wearing those headphones.

Was he even listening to anything or was it to serve to mislead those who stumble upon him looking like he was now?

From what she can see of him from the doorway, he looked even duller than usual; the small glint behind his eyes not becoming visible to her no matter how hard and long she stared. He looked saddened, disheartened…disappointed.

…Is it of himself?

Another thing she noticed was how he’s in his ceremonial robes.

So he was planning on personally attending the entrance ceremony…

“Hey,” she greeted, hoping that he wouldn’t be in an even fouler mood after she decided to proceed in his room without his permission. (Y/n) took a quick scan of the room to see if anything really changed, to distract herself as she waited for a response from him. It's pretty much the same — with his belongings scattered here and there, candy wrappers tucked within the pages of some books and as well as some laid on the floor, and prints of paperworks lazily placed on the desk and chair.

“I hope you don't mind me intruding. I was hoping we'd spend the night together, you know? Catch up, watch something, or play games…! Didn't the game you mentioned release a new update a few hours ago?"

Getting Idia to talk at this state was next to impossible.

'I won't be checking the update until a few days from now, I'm gonna wait for others to test it first to ensure there won't be any bugs. So you don't have a reason to stay, ' the sound of Idia's voice reached her ears.

When her eyes landed on his figure again, she was surprised to see him holding his tablet, his position no longer laying on the bed but instead sitting cross-legged on it.

(Y/n) didn’t even notice where he grabbed his tablet from until she heard the sound of his voice (perhaps he got it from the shelf on his bedside?). But she didn't let that fact distract her from his words.

He looked as if he's experiencing one of his darkest nights, and (Y/n) didn't want him to be alone if so.

With all her confidence, she stalked towards the direction of where he sat, taking the spot beside him. The weight of the mattress shifted as she plopped down.

There wasn't really anywhere else for her to stay, but she'll be staying anyway.

At her action, Idia's eyes widened for a millisecond before reverting to normal after taking an intake of breath silently; (Y/n) acted nonchalant with their proximity as she suggested an idea on what else they could do.

"Hm, then maybe we can watch something? Cater-senpai recommended a movie. It's about a time-traveler chasing another time-traveler who stole his family’s time machine..." She paused, eyeing Idia's sunken eyes before continuing, "or maybe we can just talk."

"T-talk? On second thought, w-we can test the new update!"

Ding!

Her phone went off the same time he finished his sentence — It was a message from the headmaster.

(Y/n) sighed at the sight of it, contemplating whether or not to respond.

Didn't he promise to let me be for the time being?

Idia watched as her lips formed a thin line. He watched as her eyes shifted from her phone to his room then to her phone again — this meant that she's debating what to do next. And as he continued to watch her and be with her, maybe spending the night with someone isn't really so bad right now?

(Y/n) had already stood up and was about to proceed back to her dormitory, where the headmaster apparently needed her, but paused when she felt a smooth, cold hand enclose hers, wrapping it with a firm but gentle grip.

He squeezed her hand gently.

"Wait! P-please stay!" I miss ranting. I miss our late-night conversations. I miss beating a game with you. I miss raging with you. I miss celebrating with you. I miss...you! This was everything he originally wanted to say, but he decided against it, "we can talk…”

After hearing his silent plea, the frown on (Y/n)'s lips shifted into a smile as she squeezed his hand back, her gaze at their hands clasped together.

And while she felt more fondness with the blue-haired introvert engulf her, Idia felt warmth trickling up to his neck. He could feel and see the tips of his long flaming blue hair turn a light shade of red. He hoped (Y/n) wouldn't notice this.

She did. But she remained silent about it, deciding to not make a big deal out of this despite wanting to tease him a bit. She didn't want for him to be too flustered, after all, else he wouldn't be able to function properly.

"So…" they both said at the same time. Their eyes quickly met each other's as their minds raced. (Y/n) found this amusing; Idia wanted to face-palm at his idiocy.

Why couldn't he start a conversation without making anything awkward? Great, now he's certain that (Y/n)'s questioning why she's even in his room with him; why she decided to be with him; why she's still holding his hand.

…holding hands?

Idia gasps, his hand immediately letting go of hers as the tips of his hair shifted to an even darker shade of red.

"S-sorry!" She's probably realizing how she doesn't even like me now! "Um…"

Why is she even with you? (Y/n) is literally a high-ranking person in terms of everything (excluding magic), plus her stats are either already maxed or nearing…

Constitution? Vil, and especially Rook, personally guide her with her routines. And on afternoon weekends, she's often seen with Rook at the sports ground.

Intellect? She's top ranking in classes despite being unfamiliar with this dimension and not possessing any type of magic!

Personality and Appearance? Everything about her never fails to leave anyone in awe.

Charisma? Anyone who comes in contact with her never forgets about her. She ends up lingering far longer than normal, and she never fails to hold anyone's interests no matter how their interests fail to meet.

Willpower? Her mental capability to handle immense pressure and stress is top-notch. The fact that she originates from another dimension only adds more to her stat…

...but she does come short in terms of luck, considering her current predicament…

But regardless, you're making a fool of yourself by being with her. You who's hopeless and a good for nothing otaku; also anti-social, socially anxious, generally awkward, cursed, gloomy, an outsider, an outcast...a liar…secretive…

You're most likely just going to stain her wonderful attributes.

Bringing nothing but disappointment…

Plus, you failed to execute the promise you made to Ortho!

Her relationship level with Ortho is at its max — the probability of a limit break is at ~99.9% — so she's most likely going to feel a wave of disappointment when she learns that you failed to keep your word to your little brother.

And Ortho…

The disappointment he must have felt…

But you did so for yours and his sake, right? Ortho wouldn't want to see his older brother embarrassing himself.

But, again, he was so excited…

The sound of fingers snapping cut his train of thought. When his eyes settled on her figure, he noticed how she now sat on the floor, leaning onto his bed as her eyes stared up at him.

"Why are you apologizing? There's nothing to be sorry for," she smiled, placing her hand on top of his as she said this, "and I told you already, nothing you do will drive me away. I'm not going to be your future history."

You wouldn't be saying that if…if you knew…

Her hand appeared smaller as it rested on top of his hand, barely covering his. Thin fingers wrapped around his, forming a grip that he can easily shake off — something he doesn't do — as his skin felt the traces of her long unsharp nails.

Her grip was calloused, but he didn't complain. He felt as if she wanted to tighten their hold, but decided against it. So he did what she didn’t.

"I didn't say anything such…" he muttered under his breath, his eyes remaining on their hands as he evading her observing eyes.

"You're right, you didn't. But I can see it in your eyes. You're beating yourself up for something you're not even doing, or for something you failed to do. It's like destroying yourself by firing off missiles of hateful words."

Every word she uttered was like a punch in the gut. Idia feels as though he was slapped by reality, her reality — the very reality he's always [wrongfully] assuming.

But how can she say that? Why does she believe such?

'There's a reason as to why she holds your intrigue; why she calls you hers and her yours!' The more rational and less anxious part of his mind tried to pinpoint.

But despite this, the cloud of anxiety and insecurity still overcame him.

She's pointing out his flaws! She's going to think of more and further push the idea of giving up every connection she shares with you. She's probably going to get fed up with you now and just end everything.

Here comes the— the ‘I’m sorry, but I don’t think being with someone like you’s good for me’ or something.

"You're speculating why I'm with you when it should be me thinking that."

...Huh?

"You know, with every negative connotation you have of yourself, whether it's something directly about you or because of your choices, it breaks me; it saddens me as much as it saddens you."

She let go of his hand for a second before taking ahold of it again, this time both of it. She held them together, her thumbs tracing circles on his pale skin.

"Idia, you’re so, so much more to me than what you think. Your fears? Struggles? Anxiety? And everything else you label as your mental baggage? I'm here to carry it with you; I'm here to listen; I'm here to help you with them; I'm here. I'm always going to try and be here. For you and for Ortho," she said, the tone of her voice lacing with nothing but complete and honest sincerity.

She's only saying that because of how pathetic you must seem...

His eyes finally met hers.

But her eyes are shining with veracity…

"You say that now but once you get to know more of me…" he trailed off, his eyes attempting to avoid hers, but they didn't.

She smiled a gentle smile, "But that's the beauty of it, isn't it? The mysteries to be uncovered! We have all the time we need to know and understand. We don't have to rush anything! And…this might sound cliché but I accept who you are and who you're going to be as we continue on! So long as you're not a serial killer or anything," she joked, chuckling at her final statement. But everything else she said was pure honesty.

She was still holding his gaze as she held his, and he genuinely didn't know what to say. The tips of his hair were now a prominent crimson and his mouth opened and closed to try and form words; he tried to respond but he kept failing.

Because normally, her words would have been something he deemed as naïve, but…it brought him some sense of comfort.

She stood from her position and took the spot next to him. Now sitting beside Idia and turning her body to face him, she let go of his hand as her right palm held his cheek, tenderly caressing it.

"Now, I don't mean to be insensitive but get your act together, alright? So I can love you without the unwanted torments of your own mind," she advised before her lips came in contact with his for a kiss— a kiss that lasted far too quickly for their liking.

Her eyes fluttered open as she pulled away, watching Idia as he did the same. They stayed like that for a few more moments, foreheads leaning onto one another as they simply stared into each other's eyes, relaying the messages of 'thank yous' and 'I love yous' with only their gazes.

But for now, it was enough. They felt comfort and fondness with each other. And the act only solidified what they're already feeling — maybe even adding more into it. They're more than looking forward to knowing about the other whilst following the steady pacing of their still blooming relationship.

It's exciting how, despite being thrown and stuck to a completely unfamiliar world, she still managed to find someone that is able to bring her comfort…

And how he also finally found the someone who he once thought was nonexistent — the someone that's willing to wait and listen then understand…

"Let me call Ortho so we can have that movie night promised."

This is a simplified version! The full version of this fic can be read on AO3 - 09/16/21

#idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud x yuu #idia shroud x mc #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x yuu #twisted wonderland x mc #twisted wonderland imagines #twst #imagines #oneshots #f!-insert

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pearonthegas · 2 years

Text

act 2, scene 1; april

a walk in albert park (ausgp '22)

ent. aus gp 2022

hey hello hi!! it's been a hot minute but here i am ,, back with my first update after the long drought :,) ausgp was the first race of the season i actually go to properly watch - and ohman!! it was quite something

unfortunately i missed out on all the fp sessions because i've been busy with school, but quali was quite a run! the one takeaway i've gotten from the bits and pieces i've managed to gather over the weeks? none of these cars are safe from any issues whatsoever - everyone seems to be struggling with something (except maybe ferrari??) it's going to be quitee the season

i love how the rest of the field is getting a lot more competitive with each other !! seeing more battles other than just the one for first made me appreciate the event so much more!! it feels a lot more exciting this way <33

i cannot begin to express first of all. how in AWE i am of albon?? sir really went for a whole race with a SINGLE set of tyres like HELLO a) what were you trying to do bby and b) THE FACT THAT HE STILL KEPT IT UP THERE IN THE POINTS THE WHOLE TIME - that williams seems more promising than otherwise shown,,i think there are some good things coming

the aston martins did NOT have luck on their side this weekend :/ absolutely insane the way their weekend went - universe rlly said <3 no; but it did increase my love for seb so that's a plus!!

i think my main. thing with this whole thing might be with rbpt tbh!! i hate that acronym its so ugly im sorry but unfortunately im an alphatauri girl so i have to live w it. that engine is literally giving me heartache every single weekend!! the fact that max had to retire made me want to YELL because if he's having issues with the engine that means that there's chances of all the other three having issues too and i'm not excited for that!! how're we going to make it through the whole season this way wails

the ats did not look too great this weekend but i still have the slightest sliver of hope for them. i think we can still pull through it's still early in the season!! yuki and pierre have also the best relationship ever (the not boyfriends, with their perfectly synchronised race starts? soulmates.) but someone needs to tell pierre to get a new hairdresser. sir. i love you but please. you are balding.

to bring the wonderful weekend to a close sir lewis hamilton and george russell are a three hour drive from me, and a friend of a friend spotted them at the gas station - mercedes amg (and lewis for that matter) will always be a national treasure to us tbh!! not even racing under our flag but we all feel so much pride for them <3 (thank you petronas for being the one good thing to come out of this gov)

exit aus gp 2022.

ent. small life update (below the break)

past few months have been HECTIC - but i think a new chapter of my silly little life begun at some point (not sure when) hence the beginning of act 2!! i'm glad to still be able to have this space - tumblr unironically makes me feel the safest on any social media

rundown of everything that's happened since i've last made a proper post? i'm preparing for my first two AS exams next month, i've made more friends in the past month than i have in the past two years (many of which don't even attend our school, and are seniors who old me would have actually absolutely detested maybe), i'm figuring out what it means to love someone, and what it means to actively choose to love them, i'm trying to be a bit kinder to myself, to not be so inherently wrapped up in grades and numbers

ramadan started more than a week ago <3 ramadan mubarak to my lovely muslim friends here

my mental health is a mess right now. but it has its good days. i hope to share as many of those with you as possible :)

as ever, with lots of love,

iman.

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nymphl · 3 years

Note

I miss Lie to Me SOOOO MUUUCH! I swear it’s the BEST Hux story out there! Your writing and characterization are amazing! I can feel every word with all my heart! Can you tell us when you’re going to update?

Awww such a sweet ask ♥️ Thank you, darling! It warms my heart that in spite of my long absence (it's been a year since I've last updated LTM and even more so the other stories) people continue to come across my Hux stories and still seem to like them ♥️ It's been such a long time that I don't even know if I still can write with Hux haha. I certainly hope so, because I DO intend on finishing Lie to Me. My deepest fear is to wake up one day and write Hux as JJ did in TROS. Sorry, I just HAD to joke about that xD

But this year has been hectic, I got a new job, I'm back at studying again... I was gifted with a puppy ♥️ (heck, they destroy everything! haha. I didn't know that because I always adopted older rescued dogs ♥️ and they were much, much calmer you know). About updates... Hopefully, I'll update soon. I just have to find time and hope to have enough disposition to write, because I've been always so tired that whenever I get some free time I only want to take some needed rest.

Once again, thank you for your kind words and support. ♥️ I didn't leave this fandom and I will finish Lie to Me. And if you guys see me updating stories to my AO3 account, know that they are all older stories I'm moving from my ffnet account to there. So fret not, I didn't forget about you or my Hux stories. In fact, I miss writing them quite a lot ♥️ As always, any update will be posted here and now on my twitter as well. I’m also as nymph_L there xD

#ask #anon #hux x reader #hux x you #general hux #armitage hux #writing #hux #fanfic #star wars fanfic #hux fanfic #ffnet #ao3 #lie to me #ltm #personal life

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shinaus · 2 years

Note

(oh my god, not best girl showing up months after i reactivated? hi! toshi anon here. firstly, i'm so happy to see you posting again! you've been sorely missed on my dash. second, i'm really, really sorry for disappearing. i was [and still am in a way] dealing with personal stuff, which led me to quitting tumblr altogether for a long while. when i came back you were already gone and i was like...well, shoot. i was freaked out at first thinking something happened to you, and disappointed that i didn't say a proper goodbye like i should have. have you been in good health? are the pets alright?

unfortunately, i've quit the bnha fandom some months ago. while i still adore shinsou, i got burnt out of the manga and the fandom overall. i can't promise to start writing letters again, and i'm really sorry for that. but i want you to know it was a pleasure to hopefully bring a little joy to your day. not once did i exaggerate how amazing you are, in character or not. if i were to go back to when i first wrote you, i would do it all over again because i couldn't have asked for a better muse. i hope life has been treating you as you deserve, that is to say the best. much love, keep shining bright) - toshi anon ❤

putting a read more so that i can get in my feelings don't let my comeback think you can perceive me rn

but hi!!! oh my god!!!

honestly i'm so sorry that i wasn't able to reach out to you when i was leaving, that was highkey something i regret not initially doing since you were (and still are) such a big part of my blog and made things so much fun for me — and i missed you a lot!

i completely understand with you going through things and there's no need to apologise at all, i above all else would want you to prioritise and look after yourself first. not only that but i hope taking some time away was something that helped, i can certainly relate in that aspect.

i've been alright! things have been hectic these last few months so a break was certainly needed, not to mention i'm getting over covid which i ended up catching after two years lmao. although, i did miss having a space like this to come back to and checking in with you. how have you been? i hope that work has been alright and the sweet pets you have at home have been behaving well hehe!

in all honesty, i've really not been keeping up with the fandom either other than the odd spoiler so i get where you're coming from — if i can keep this blog up like i want to it'll certainly be more mixed with my interests to keep it fun. whether or not we did continue it, you've still given me a million fun memories to look back on. but that doesn't take away from the fact you were a genuine light to my day whenever i heard from you, in character or not. i feel like i never said enough how much i appreciate you and i couldn't have asked for a better anon to spend time chatting away with. thank you for everything, you know if i could go back to do it again i wouldn't hesitate since you made every moment of it so great. i'm sending you all my love as always, as my beloved toshi anon and my toshi hehe 🤍

(& if it's okay with you/you're comfortable with it i'd love to have your @ if i don't follow you already — just to keep up with you if we both end up sticking around some more 🥺)

#.✉️#time for me to start crying #seriously though you have a place in this lil heart forever #the hitoshi anon era my beloved

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youremeimyou · 4 years

Text

Old Lovers

pairing: Min Yoongi x reader genre: angst with sprinkles of fluff, ex-boyfriend au word count: almost 5k warning: some passionate kissing

Description: Min Yoongi is your ex-boyfriend that you’ve parted ways not on the greatest of terms with. But in the makings of a mixtape, somethings will be rekindled. Will it be friendship or maybe more?

A/N: I’ve started writing this so long ago but only recently got to finish it. I haven’t been able to post any fics in a while even though I’ve got a lot of wip. I’m graduating uni and my life’s basically a chaos right now. But I liked writing this a lot. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think of it :) [posting again cuz it’s not showing on tags ughh]

Going back to school has never been this painful to you before. Of course assingments, exams and longer than necessary lectures were always there to welcome you back to hell every year but no new semester intimidated you quite like this one does. Especially after the very much disconnected summer break you had.

Spending the summer in your hometown of Gwangju was a rushed decision that was actually forced upon you at the time. But it turned out to be exactly what you needed. At least, Hoseok made sure that it was. Being your life-long friend, he took matters into his own hands when you couldn't pull yourself together after the rough patch you've been through. The Hoseok-ie rule he called it: No getting in touch with anyone in Seoul. And while it was a little hard not reaching out to close friends in Seoul, you couldn't risk breaking the Hoseok-ie rule. He's sweet and you love him but that guy is one scary motherfucker when he's pissed.

Now, summertime's over and you're definetely not prepared to face your demons. It doesn't help that Hoseok's classes aren't starting until next week, either. That means you have to go through this alone.

On your way from the subway station to the campus, you check the new weekly schedule once more and it makes you let out a dissappointed huff. You can't blame anyone. You made this schedule. But do you have any idea why you decided to put music theory at 9 in the morning while you were making it? No.

Your legs take action before you know it and suddenly you're now turning to the other street. They continue to take you through another familiar path. As you close in on the shop at the corner, the calming smell of coffee reaches your nose and you realise why coming here was more tempting than attending class.

This coffee shop was your safe haven for the past three years and this semester isn't going to be any different. Even though it's so close to campus, not many people know about it and it's never hectic. Which is something you love and right now, definetely need. Some peace and quiet before starting the semester...

You enter and head straight to the barista, who happens to be a friend of yours since you're a regular.

"Hey Ryu."

"Well well, if it isn't Miss I'll come everyday this summer that never showed up once." Ryu has sarcasm alongside with mischief in his voice.

"I know but Hoseok kept me in Gwangju as a prisoner the whole summer, I'm sorry."

"Where's that dancing machine?"

"He doesn't have classes until next week so it's just me for now." You're still not over the fact he left you on your own for the first week.

"It's fine, you're not alone. Look!" Ryu points to the back where the tables are. You're confused as to who he could be pointing at. You and Hoseok are the only ones you know that come here- except...

In a flash, you stop turning around and hurriedly order a black coffee. "Please make it quick." you plead quietly but what's done is done, he already knows you're here. In fact you can hear footsteps approaching.

"That drink was great, dude. What's it called again?" He appears on your right side in his all-black outfit with a snapback. Nothing's changed about him, you think. Except you see some of his hair through the hat and it seems to be bleached. Something he hasn't done for a while. For the two years you two were together, to be exact.

"Oh, it's called yuanyang. You think I should put it on the menu?"

"Definetely, go for it."

It seems like he doesn't even acknowlegde the fact that you're right next to him. But why the hell did he even come here? You totally introduced him to this place and Ryu. So, you should get to keep this place after the break-up. Aren't those the rules?

He takes out his wallet to pay but pauses for a second. "Ryu, can I get two cookies to go?" he asks and hands over his card.

Two cookies? You know he doesn't like sugaries that much. You're almost sure he's meeting someone and it makes you scoff, unconsciously. Both him and Ryu side-eye you but you avert your gaze. "Chocolate ones, please." he adds. You think he must be ordering your favorites just to spite you.

He recieves the cookies from Ryu, fistbumps the guy and starts walking out. But then, just as he passes by you, he leaves one of the cookies on the counter in front of you and exits without another word.

First, you're shocked. And so is Ryu, apparently. You glance at him and he confusedly shrugs. Then, you're pissed. In a moment of anger, you blast out of there to go after him.

"Hey, Min Yoongi!" you shout.

He stops but doesn't turn around for a while. Just when he's about to, you appear right in front of him, the cookie in your hand.

"What's this?"

"What does it look like to you?" he retorts back, his eyes avoiding yours. And you frustratedly huff.

"What are you trying to pull?" you ask with hints of accusation in your voice. That's when he meets your gaze.

"Nothing at all. My fault for trying to be nice."

There it is, the Min Yoongi venom you were waiting for. He opens his mouth to say something else but you beat him to it.

"Ryu doesn't seem to know that we-" you pause. And immediately regret pausing. Why couldn't you just say it?

"Oh, right. You must be thinking that life stopped while you were away." And only as he says this that you notice the dark circles under his eyes. "He knows. So do a lot of other people, by the way."

Well, shit. You might've been away from all the post-breakup commotion but he was here. He was dealing with everyone of your social circle, alone. And what's the first thing you do when you see him for the first time after all that? Lashing out at him. And when he was just trying to be nice, too. Great...

"Can you move? I'm missing class." he says coldly. But despite trying to hide it, his voice sounds tired. Which makes you step out of his way and let him go. Instead, you start making your own way to class, being already late as it is.

Safe to say it's an awkward walk to campus, with you on one side of the street and Yoongi on the other. The bad news is, you constantly find yourself looking his way. Even though you curse under your breath everytime you catch yourself staring at him, you can't help but look again. But his eyes are completely fixed on the road, not even sparing you one glance.

To escape the awkwardness, you decide taking the longer route to class by heading for the stairs at the back while he takes the ones near the entrance. Since you're late and afraid of Professor Sol, you fasten your pace. Once you reach the door, your hand clashes into someone else's. Yoongi's. Of course, you think to yourself. You should've known he's taking music theory from Professor Sol. He's the best student when it comes to music and the best teacher here definetely wants him on his class.

It's too late when you realise you haven't removed your hand because he opens the door with yours under his, making it feel as though you're holding hands.

"So you finally decided to grace us with your presence? You shouldn't have. The class is about to end." Professor Sol scolds the two of you. She isn't exactly wrong. "I can pardon a student who already excells but the one who barely passes classes, I hope you know what you're doing Miss Y/N." One thing about her is that she notoriously discriminates between students and she's never liked you.

Yoongi's hand and yours is still connected and you feel him tense up. He actually used to be your guardian when it came to Professor Sol. And apparently old habits die hard because he grabs your hand harder and steps up a little. "The last I checked, at least eighty percent of your class fails every year, professor. It includes people who rank highest in some of the other classes. Strange, don't you think?"

Only Min Yoongi has the guts to do this. And only he gets a free pass after doing it. When the professor simply points you in the direction of the seats, Yoongi pulls you by the hand he’s still holding and sits you down. There’s immediately talk going around, people discussing if you were back together and all that. That’s when he snaps out of it and lets your hand go. So you’re finally able to let out the breath you were unknowingly holding. Then, he goes to one of the back seats and sits down himself. And you quietly wonder why that hurts you.

It's Hoseok's first day back and the two of you are enjoying some coffee at Ryu's shop, after a long school day.

"Y/N, I've got some bad news." he says, looking gloomy all of a sudden.

"Wha- hurry up and tell me." You hate the suspense, it makes you worry.

"I haven't been able to find a studio that we can continue the album with." He looks really upset. That's only natural, he's been working on this project for over a year now. Before you broke up with Yoongi, Hoseok was writing and producing a mixtape in Yoongi's studio with you and Yoongi's help. After you parted ways, the mixtape was put on hold.

"I've saved a lot of money this summer. We can look into some expensive ones too, I'm sure we can-"

"It's not the money, Y/N. I can't work on it the way I want to in any of those other studios. Even if it's one of the expensive ones." he cuts in. Yes, Yoongi was probably the only person to let Hoseok do his own thing.

"Well then, you should talk to Yoongi. I'm sure he'll be cool with working with you, still. As long as I don't show up, it should be fine."

He rolls his eyes. "I can't do it without you, Y/N. I'll need your help, so you'll have to show up eventually."

It's your turn to roll your eyes. You don't want anything to do with that studio. But you know how important this mixtape is to Hoseok, so you say okay. Even though you doubt Yoongi would be fine with you being there.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. In his damned, cursed, beautiful leather jacket... This time there's no hat so you can fully observe his bleached hair and notice how it's grown longer.

"Would you really be okay with it? I don't wanna put you in this position, no. Let's just forget it-"

"Hoseok-ie, you're lovely. But for now, shut up." You get up and make your way to Yoongi's table. Hoseok's mixtape has to be done, no matter what. Seems like he hasn't noticed you so you clear your throat to grab his attention.

"What?" he asks, not looking at you. Your blood slowly starts to boil.

"I need to ask you something-"

"Ryu, I kinda need that coffee asap, buddy!" He cuts you off by hollering at the barista and starts to gather his things. He really must want to get on your nerves.

"Actually, first things first, why in the bloody hell are you still coming here?" You can't help but lash out again. You discovered this place after all, you have the right to claim it.

"Excuse me?"

"I showed you this place, it's my territory. Don't you know the break-up rules?"

He laughs at that. In such a condescending way that you regret saying it. He stops getting ready and settles on the table once again. "You're cute."

Oh, you're so close to smacking him on the head.

"And you're an asshole."

Ryu comes with Yoongi's order and leaves it on the table. "I thought you were in a hurry." He says while heading back to the counter.

"I suddenly wanna stay longer." Yoongi states, looking straight at you.

Every fiber of your being wants to avoid his eyes and run away from there, he knows exactly how to make you vulnerable. But you endure. For Hoseok.

"I'll get to the point. Hoseok needs to keep working with you. Our situation shouldn't effect his mixtape, don't you think?"

He switches to serious mode quickly. "Was this your idea or his?"

"What does it matter-"

"I'm only okay with it if he wants to do it on his own will and not by you forcing him."

Okay, you do get a little bossy sometimes but he didn't have to put it as harsh as that.

"He wants to. He refused other studios and all that."

You think you see his lips curve into a small smile for a second. Hoseok and Yoongi got along very well, actually. You never wanted for them to stop being friends, anyway. This might be a chance for them to catch up even. Of course, there's a slight problem.

"But- he says he can't do it without... well, me. He wants to make sure that you're okay with-"

"Not a problem." Yoongi unexpectantly cuts you off. You're rendered speechless due to shock. He finally turns his head and looks at you. "My studio is a workplace, Y/N. Why would it bother me when you're there for work purposes? Especially when you're essential to the process."

Yoongi's sense of kindness is a very strong thing. But it's well hidden under all the coldness and sarcasm. You'd know, it had taken you a while to get to it. But when you did, it made you fall for him even harder at the time. And now, even though things between you are over, you can still see it.

"Thanks..." is all you can say while turning around to go back but suddenly your feet stop and turn back around. "Actually, thanks for before with Professor Sol, too. Even though you don't need to stand up for me anymore-"

"It's not that I needed to, Y/N. It's that I wanted to."

He goes back to gathering his stuff and you head back to give Hoseok the details of how it went. Just as you're about to, Yoongi stops by your table before leaving.

"Hoseok-ie, text me later to come up with a schedule for studio hours, okay?"

Hoseok is visibly happy and responds with a big smile. "Sure thing."

It's been three weeks since Hoseok started to work at Yoongi's studio again. But today is the first time that you'll be going there since the break-up. Even though time has passed, you're still not used to being around Yoongi all the time. Like having to attend almost all the classes with him and also, well... without him.

Without him sitting next to you, practically glued to your side, while you both silently giggle in the middle of the lecture as he whispers stupid jokes in your ear. The fact that you're consantly around him (not by choice by the way) prevents you from getting over him.

And now the studio... One of the most dangerous places for you now because of the memories you have with him there. You know, an intimate, indoor space with dim lights... A perfect spot for activities you definitely don't want to be reminded of. But for your best friend Hoseok, you have to go.

When you arrive, you call Hoseok to open up the door, too nervous to ring the doorbell. Once you enter, your giggly friend drags you hurriedly into the recording room.

"Okay warm your voice up. We should start with the vocals-"

"Wow there, pickle." you say. Vocals were maybe the only thing you told him you wouldn't do. What did he think? That he could hurry you into it and you wouldn't notice? "What vocals, Hoseok? I'm here to arrange, mix and maybe write some melodies, you know that."

"Shhh... look you gotta. Otherwise Yoongi's gonna have some other girl do it and I don't want that."

What girl? For as long as you can remember, Yoongi has tried to get you to sing. For Hoseok's and other albums. But you don't have confidence in your voice so you've always refused. And now he just wants some other girl?

"Have you told him you don't want that?"

"Yes, obviously. He told me if I can't convince you, we had no other choice. So c'mon, just try for me? Pleaseee?"

You sneakily glance out the window to see Yoongi talking with the said girl. She’s probably from your school even though you haven’t seen her here before. She’s standing a bit too close to Yoongi’s chair and leaning on him a little but that’s none of your business. And you definetely don’t care. But still, you can’t have someone whom Hoseok’s not comfortable with, sing in his own damn album.

You go out the room and toward Yoongi and the girl. “We need to speak.” you say and head for the other room. Yoongi huffs while following after you.

“What is it miss grumpy?”

You roll your eyes. “Are you really pulling an ultimatom on me like this? Hoseok clearly isn’t okay with this girl-”

“Hoseok isn’t okay with anyone but you. This isn’t my ultimatom, it’s his. Marley’s like the third person I asked to do this and he didn’t like any of them. Because what he wants is your voice. You really can’t see that Y/N?”

He sounds fed up and exhausted. What he says makes sense too, since you know how stubborn and sneaky your best friend can be.

He continues. “Look, if we want the album to proceed there are three options. First is Marley does the vocals and Hoseok will be unhappy about it. Second is there’ll be no female vocals which will make the whole thing empty and far from what we planned. Or third, you can do them and save us all the grimace.”

He makes it seem like he doesn’t care which you’ll go with but in his eyes, you can see hope that you’ll say yes to the third. But no. You’re not ready, you can’t. In your mind, you suck. So you convince Hoseok to go with Marley for now.

So, days go by. Marley comes pretty often to record. Hoseok’s not frowning that much about it anymore. And you notice how every chance she gets, Marley is pulling the moves on Yoongi. Which seem to work, since sometimes they come in or leave together. None of it bothers you at all, you tell yourself.

One day, you come in pretty late at night remembering you left your notes there. Since you have a spare key, you think you can be in and out unnoticed. Silly you because once you hear Yoongi playing the piano, you can’t just leave. You wait outside the room until he’s done and some stupid momentary courage makes you go in.

“Oh- I’m sorry.” you instantly say when you see Marley sitting next to him. “I just forgot my- I was leaving-”

“Wait!” Yoongi says hurridly to stop you. “We were done here anyway.”

Marley doesn’t look happy but gets up and leaves.

“No really, I got my notes and I was about to head out. She doesn’t need to leave on my account-”

“It’s not on your account. But since you came in here, you must have something to say?”

Why does it feel like he wants you to say something? Why does it seem like he wants you to stay? You’re convinced it’s your own mind playing tricks on you.

“No. I don’t.” you lie with a broken voice. But your feet aren’t leaving. And Yoongi is still staring at you with a cold attitude but expecting eyes.

“Fine.” you give up and say. “I thought the piano room wasn’t allowed to just anyone. I guess since she was in here...” you cut yourself off. The piano room was kind of your special place when you were together. Nobody other than you was allowed in here. This is the place you two would spend hours and hours coming up with songs. Or just talking about things you shared only with each other.

“I’m just giving her piano lessons for some extra cash. And this room doesn’t mean much to me anymore.”

His answer dissappoints you. Not the part that he indirectly said they weren’t dating. The latter part. “And here I thought the whole secrecy of the piano room was just your way of pulling the moves on whoever you’re dating.” As long as the sentence is finished, you regret saying it. You know it isn’t right. What you said is unfair to every intimate and meaningful moment you had with him here. And your words come down like the last drop on his patience.

He shoots out of the seat. “If I wasn’t so goddamn sure that you already know how you’re the first person I ever brought in here, I’d be hurt. But instead I’m just pissed.”

He’s right to be. So you can’t say anything back.

“How can you even-” he stops for a moment. “But that’s just your way, isn’t it? Spit out venom whenever you don’t like something.”

“Me?” you ask in shock. Now this you can’t have. “No. Poisonous words are your specialty.”

“And you already left me for it, didn’t you? You left me so why would you care who I bring in here anyway?” He’s switched to his shouting voice now.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But I left because you pushed me away, Yoongi.” He averts his gaze to the floor while you continue. “I know that you love music more than anything else but what I also happen to know is that you use it as an escape. An excuse to not get too close. But guess what? We were already too close for me to not realise what you were doing! And that is why I left!”

Both of you are obviously done shouting and silence takes over the room for a while. You already had to push back tears like twice now, so you decide to leave but just then, Yoongi has something to say.

“This room will never have any significance with anyone else besides you. Just know that.” he silently admits with his eyes still fixed on the ground. You don’t say anything and just walk away.

It’s nearly the end of the semester and Hoseok’s mixtape is finally finished. He was so exited that he accidentely published it three times in a row on soundcloud. And the fact that he’s getting some great feedback is the icing on top.

In the meantime, you’ve been doing a lot of thinking. After that fight with Yoongi, you’ve started to seriously consider the fact that maybe leaving him just like that was a mistake. Because yes, you were hurt that after all you had been through, he was still trying to keep you at bay. You felt like as you were falling completely and irreversably for him, he was still holding back. But when you left, you were gone all the way. Leaving him all alone when you knew he was hurt.

Spending the last couple of months together, you finally admitted to yourself that you missed him. And that it did bother you seeing him with other girls. It bothered you that Marley was so obviously into him. Even though he made it clear he wasn’t interested, you still felt... jealous.

But you never mustered up the courage to talk to him about any of these. Even though it seems like lately he’s trying not to be cold around you, trying to strike up random converstions in efforts to perhaps recover at least your friendship. For some stupid reason you can’t seem to dare let him back in.

Your buzzing phone pulls you out of your thoughts. You check and see it’s your best friend that you’ve been feeling extra proud of these days.

“Yes, my successful, on his way to become a star best friend?”

“Oh my god, Y/N. You won’t believe this!” he squeaks while talking. And you hate the suspense so you tell him to hurry up and tell you what’s up.

“Yoongi’s friend in radio 12 agreed to play the title song!”

“What??” you start to squeak in exitement as well. “When? When will it be on?”

“In about two minutes! Just put the station on, now!” he orders and hangs up immediately. He’ll probably call his parents next. You quickly do as he says and for sure, the next song is Hoseok’s title track. You start hopping in your bed, dancing around in your room with the dumbest smile on your face but then-

The bridge comes and it’s your voice. That’s impossible, you think. But it is you singing the bridge. And then it hits you. That one night you snuck into the studio with your spare key and recorded this exact bit, just to see how it’d be... As always, you thought it wasn’t good enough. But instead of deleting, you hid the file. Guess you couldn’t hide it that well, after all. Was it Hoseok that did this? Or...

Your phone buzzes again and once again it’s Hoseok. “Y/N- This was the best surprise you ever made for me. I’m literally about to cry, you sound so good! Thank you for doing this.”

It wasn’t Hoseok, then. But you’re thrilled to know he likes it that much. You’re thrilled to hear yourself on a freaking radio station that so many people listen to! It feels amazing. It gives you so much confidence. So much that after ending the call with Hoseok, you decide to go to the only person left who could’ve done this.

You’re at Yoongi’s door. You haven’t been here for a long time but despite the nervousness, you manage to knock. It’s pretty late but you know he’s a night owl, he should be up. Soon enough, he opens the door. He’s taken aback to see you at first but then his surprised expression turns into worry.

“I know why you’re here. I’m sorry I used the recording without your consent but-”

You launch yourself onto him and crash your lips on his. His response is so quick that it’s almost automatic. He pulls you in even more, closes the door with his foot and traps your body againts the wall with his own. All the while not parting your lips once. Your hands go to his hair. You’ve been wanting to brush your fingers through his hair ever since you’ve seen that he bleached it again after two years. You pull at the tips slightly. It makes him hum into your mouth.

“Wait-” he says while he pulls away suddenly. “You-” You’re both out of breath. “Are you really okay with what I did?”

“Yes.” You close the distance once again and this time he moves you to the couch. You’ve missed this couch. You’ve missed him...

He pulls back again. “Y/N- wait. What are we doing?”

“What do you think?” you tease as your lips travel down to his neck.

“I wanna talk to you first, though.” he manages to say between his panting.

“So talk.” you say and go back to the week spots on his neck, secretly smiling against his skin.

“You’re not-” he swallows a groan. “exactly making it easy.” He then pulls your head up to face him and gives you another long kiss. But this time not out of the heat of the moment. Instead with so much meaning engraved on it.

“Y/N... I never meant to hurt you.” he says staring into your eyes. “You were right, I was a coward but- I swear if you give me another chance, I will give it my all. I’ll be a thousand percent in.”

You smile. He looks so much like a lost puppy that it makes you want to tease him. “Well, prove that to me right now then.” you say slyly.

“Uhh- I will. I- I’m gonna go dye my hair brown, right now. I bleached it to get your attention, anyway. Not to attract others, I promise.” he says in panic.

You burst into laughter. When you first started dating, you talked him into not bleaching his hair anymore. You always said it was only for his health but he always knew you were jealous of girls getting attracted because of it, too. “No, don’t. I actually missed how even hotter it makes you look. Let’s keep that for now.” you say. “I was kidding, you don’t have to do or say any-”

“I love you.”

You pause. It’s not the first time he tells you that. But this time he says it in such a way that you’re certain it’s the real thing. Even more real than before. “I love you, too.”

“So...” he leans into you and whispers in your ear. “Couch or bed?”

You both giggle. “Surprise me.” you whisper back and he quickly tries to lift you but fails, making you both laugh out loud. “Umm- I haven’t been working out lately, baby. I’m sorry.” he says between giggles.

Between all the laughter, you silently thank him for giving you another chance, too. And make a mental promise that you won’t give this up so easily ever again.

....

A/N: This was my first Yoongi fic and I feel good about it. It’s really hard to imagine Yoongi not being a god at music so anytime I use him as a character, he’s always a prodigy lol. I can’t help it he’s just really good. Anyways if you’ve bared with this, thank you sooo much for reading and I hope you liked it. Let me know if you did. Always wash your hands and stay healthy :)

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reluctantly-plus-ultra · 4 years

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So....I'm literally in love with your rei&lov stuff and wanted to ask if you're still taking scenario suggestions? In case you do; how about dabihawks, in which dabi figures out/always knew that hawks is actually a spy but convinces hawks to actually become a villain? Or literally any hawks&shouto interaction in which they talk for some reason(internship?) And bc of that hawks figures out that dabi=touya and endevour=horrible and has kinda a breakdown? (Bonus points of shouto already knew) Thx

First of all, thank you so much! I’m definitely still taking requests- sorry this one took a while to post, but I’ve been in finals this past week and things have been hectic. Second, I’m going to have to apologize in advance because I saw all of your awesome suggestions here and instead of tackling this like any sane person would by choosing one thing to write about, I decided to write all of them in one request… So in other words, this sucker is LONG. Anyway, without further ado, enjoy the piece!

[REQUESTED] DABIHAWKS: DARK SIDE

- All it takes is one boy being saved for everything to go absolutely batshit crazy.

- Keigo “Hawks” Takami is a cunning man, ruthless when it comes to intelligence, speed, determination. He’s been trained- raised his whole life to be the personification of the perfect working hero: instinctive, quick, capable of wearing as many masks as it takes to get the job done and hiding all of that deadly capability behind a warm, smiling face that keeps him the darling of the public eye.

- And yet, despite his wit, despite his impeccable skill for analysis, despite every sign that should have given him a few warning bells about this situation, Hawks had stumbled in completely blind. Nothing could’ve prepared him for this.

- It had started off as nothing more than a basic street brawl. Hawks had taken the day to patrol with Enji and Shouto, the young man having returned to his father’s agency for his internship. In fact, it was mostly because of Shouto that Hawks had decided to head out with Endeavor in the first place- he was curious about the youngest Todoroki. The boy already had a pretty impressive reputation regardless of the fact that he hadn’t yet gone pro, and Hawks was curious to see whether or not he would hold up in person.

- So when they’d gotten the call that there was a robbery four blocks away and that a fight had broken out in the square, he hadn’t given two thoughts about it, really. Hell, the kid had faced off against the League shortly after entering his first year and come out without a scratch. He could take a couple amateur thugs no problem.

- And at first, things actually go really well. Shouto’s got some serious skill, and it doesn’t take long for them to get the situation sorted out-

- That is, at least, until a few familiar faces show up.

- Hawks swears he’s going to kick Dabi’s ass into next week when he, Toga, Compress and Twice all round the corner and straight into the whole mess. Like, it’s bad enough that now he’s going to have to put up a fight with them, but for fuck’s sake the last thing he needs is to be gearing up to face them while also trying to put on a nonchalant expression as Toga starts laughing her ass off at the sight of him being there.

- So of course shit goes sideways and a second fight breaks out. Hawks has never been more thankful of Twice, because the man just keeps sending clone after clone his way and it’s keeping him busy enough that he doesn’t have to throw punches at any of the others. After all, the League had just started warming up to him, and he really doesn’t want to be sending anybody home packing black eyes on his account.

- But that also leaves three villains against two Todorokis, and while that still shouldn’t be a problem, it turns out to be.

- In hindsight knowing what he’d come to learn much later, maybe it was the way Endeavor barked the boy’s name. Maybe it was how he’d whipped around so suddenly the flames on his body guttered and flared. Maybe it was even just the simple matter of having his arm raised when he turned.

- Either way, whatever he’d been going to tell his youngest child goes unsaid, be it advice or otherwise.

- All Hawks knows is that it takes a full two seconds for Endeavour to shout his son’s name, to wheel around to face him, arm still rigid above his head from the last burst of flame he’d sent at Compress, hand exploding into a raging blaze once more- and then Dabi is fucking sprinting.

- And at first, Hawks almost goes after him because it seems like the fire-user is about to take out Shouto and quite frankly, it didn’t matter who you are: going after a child is a low blow, plain and simple.

- So when he dispatches Twice’s next clone in a messy hurry and moves to follow, he’s stopped dead in his tracks by a display he never thought he’d witness: the patchwork villain yelling “Sho!” so loudly his voice cracks before quite literally hauling the young hero behind him and bracing his free arm in front of them both in a gesture that is so inherently and naturally defensive it makes Hawks pause.

- Half a second later, there’s an explosion of blue fire so fierce and bright that it’s damn near blinding. It takes a few moments for the winged hero to blink the light from his eyes, but when he manages to do so, it is only to take in the sight of three faces equally painted in horror.

- And here’s the thing; Hawks expects some kind of reaction from Shouto, so the fact that he’s still stunned and unmoving behind this villain isn’t exactly a surprise. Hell, he expects a reaction from Dabi too, because that degree of defensiveness, that scale of fire, the sheer desperation in his movements seconds before the explosive blast- it’s so unlike him, especially over some hero’s son?

- But it’s when Enji Todoroki blanches just as pale as the other two, eyes wide as Shouto’s, hands shaking like Dabi’s, that Hawks feels an uncomfortable clench in his gut. That feeling persists, too, as the fighting stops around them, and everything falls into silence, ashes falling down around them like snow. It’s the first time that Hawks has noticed that the walls of the surrounding buildings have been scorched black from the heat, smoke still rising in the air.

- There’s blood leaking down Dabi’s face, his arms, past his burnt jacket sleeves and the collar of his shirt. He’s in pain, Hawks can tell, even from where he’s standing. That move took a lot out of him-

- But there’s also no way he wouldn’t have known that before doing it, and that raises more than a few questions.

- All three men look like they’re reliving some kind of flashback, some kind of memory or unanimous nightmare. It’s Shouto who speaks first, voice wavering, and even then it’s only one word, indistinguishable from their current distance- but it’s enough to snap Dabi out of whatever reverie he’s in and cause him to snarl and bolt.

- Nobody goes after him, not even Endeavor, and in seconds the patchwork man is gone, lost to the shadows and alleys. Being realistic, it would take Hawks less than a minute to soar up above the buildings and scout him down, demand some answers, but Twice is quicker to the punch.

“Let us handle this for now- you can take of him later, I’m not handling his broody side.”

- The rest of the League is in the process of disappearing as well as Hawks makes his way up to the pair of still shell-shocked heroes, quirking an eyebrow and tugging at a few feathers that got bent in his fight.

- “You want to tell me what that was all about? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

- The hard glint in Enji’s eye as he glances at him and then spins around on his heel without a word, walking in the opposite direction is all the confirmation he needs to know that maybe they have.

- Days pass. It had been hard enough not asking questions for the rest of their patrol but when, four days later, Endeavor still won’t give him the time of day and Dabi won’t respond to any of his texts and calls, Hawks has had about enough.

- Aizawa’s not exactly thrilled about the Number Two hero calling in to ask if he can take part of the morning to talk to Todoroki about some of the events of their last patrol, but he presses that it’s important, and Aizawa eventually gives in on the grounds that it’s safer for them to talk at the school about mission work than anywhere else, really.

- And that’s how he and the dual-quirked boy end up facing one another over cold coffee in the otherwise vacant teacher’s lounge, Shouto guarded as ever, and Hawks feeling a bit nervous despite the circumstances. Truth being told, he isn’t sure what he’s looking to find here, exactly, but the whole situation has been burning a hole in his stomach for half a week, and something about it really isn’t sitting right.

- “…This is about the whole… Incident with him, isn’t it?” Todoroki asks eventually, tone flat, and Hawks has to admit that he’s chosen some interesting phrasing.

- “Pretty much, yeah,” Hawks scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, unsure where to even start. The whole thing seems pretty absurd. The youngest Todoroki hums and sips at his cold coffee, the light rippling of the liquid being the only thing betraying the slight tremour of his hands.

- “If you have questions, why not ask him instead?” Hawks immediately wrinkles his nose at that.

- “Who, Endeavor? Something tells me he wouldn’t be the most willing audie-”

- “Not Endeavor.” Shouto fixes his cup back on its saucer before turning curious but carefully blank eyes on him, “Dabi. You two seem close enough for it.”

- Well, fuck.

- Hawks’ brain is going a mile a minute trying to figure out how Shouto managed to put two and two together. There’s no way he’d figured it out from that patrol day- they hadn’t even interacted at all, and Hawks had been careful not to mention the patchwork villain around any of the other heroes so as to not raise suspicion with his mission, or to have anyone go snooping too deeply into something that could also get him in a huge deal of shit.

- Not really knowing how else to play his cards but to try and save face, Hawks squints and shakes his head at the boy in confusion, hoping the “dumb-bird” act will save his ass. Underneath the surface, though, he can feel the pinpricks of an impending anxiety attack, the boy’s blunt and unexpected words having shredded every assumption of caution that he thought he’d put up. Hell, if Shouto has figured things out this far, has he also figured out Hawks’ connection to the League? Has he told anyone else? The Commission is going to skin him alive when they found out-

- “I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about,” Hawks tries, grimacing at the end of the statement for effect, “Unless you’re meaning because I didn’t intervene when everything went down and help you guys out- sorry about that by the way, but I figured you two would have everything under control, and when all the fighting stopped, I just froze.” He shrugs, trying his best to look sheepish, “It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes when the shock is great enough I’m more of a natural freezer than a reactor. Probably some kind of weird bird thing.”

- Shouto regards him for a solid second, unblinking, before cracking a small smile.

- “You’re a good liar.” He says simply, before sipping his coffee again. “But that’s not what I’m talking about at all.”

- Those pinpricks return again, and Hawks’ wings flutter somewhat nervously on their own accord. He resists the urge to let them expand just to give himself a bit more of a size advantage, and instead tries playing it off again. Shouto’s eyebrows raise at the attempt, and it’s with almost exaggerated disbelief that he sets his cup down for the second time and announces, in that odd, cool way of his, “So you just let any villain wear your feathers, then?”

- Hawks chokes on his coffee.

- This time, he legitimately does not know what the hell Todoroki’s talking about, but it turns out that the observant teen had caught sight of a long stretch of cord that had shifted somewhat out from under the other man’s loose shirt when he spun around to run.

- And there’s nothing weird about that in itself. Dabi’s kinda a jewelry guy, and Heaven knows he’s got enough piercings to prove it. But when Todoroki gets to mentioning that there was a small red feather on the end of the rope, Hawks can’t help but flush pink just a little bit because he’d left that feather as a calling card to tell the other man he’d broken into his apartment two weeks ago and he’d gone and strung it on a necklace what an absolute fucking dork-

- “I don’t think Endeavor saw,” Todoroki continues absently, “So it’s just me that knows, and I don’t want any of the details,” He looks at Hawks solemnly again, this time his voice growing quieter, “I’ll keep your secret, but forgive me for using it to make sure you keep mine.”

- Hawks examines him for a slow moment, fully aware that neither of them are moving, and the air is growing tense. This boy could bring his career crashing down around his ears with a few words muttered in the right direction, and yet Hawks is inclined to believe him when he says he’ll keep a secret. With a sigh, the winged hero extends a hand.

- “Deal.” He agrees, shivering at the contact of ice on his palm, Todoroki apologizing for the slip under his breath. “Now, what’s this secret, then?”

- Shouto chews his lip for a moment before sitting back in his seat, hands clenched into fists.

- “I need to tell you a story.”

______________________________________________________

- An hour later, the entire fucking world has been turned on its head, and nothing is ever going to be the same.

- Shouto Todoroki sits quietly for a moment, before calmly reaching out for his coffee cup again, more for the simple grounding action of holding it than anything else. The silence in the room is stifling, especially after the burrage of information Hawks has had dumped on him in the last sixty minutes, and his brain is still sluggishly trying to process most of it.

- “He’s… He’s your brother?” The hero manages eventually, mouth feeling dry, stomach churning. That panging ache in his stomach that he’d felt before has returned tenfold, and it takes everything in Hawks’ apparent willpower to not run for a garbage bin and puke from all the nausea.

- Todoroki won’t meet his eye, and Hawks doesn’t blame him- after everything that’s been revealed at this coffee table, he’s not sure he could look the younger man dead in the face without breaking down in some way. Seeing his scar, mentally comparing it to Dabi’s many, brain running lists of all their similarities and those lists coming up remarkably long.

- The worst of it is the carpet that got all but torn out from under his feet as Shouto had explained what his father had put them all through, his involvement at home, how they had assumed for so long that their oldest sibling had died, and that it had been their father’s fault, no different than Rei’s hospitalization and, by extension, Shouto’s burned eye. It’s this news that curdles his stomach more than anything, makes his blood freeze in his veins.

- He can already tell that when he allows that news to settle, it’s going to hit like a bombshell, but he can’t do that in front of Shouto, so he pushes it to the back of his mind for now until he can handle it later and instead tries to focus on the subjects that he thinks can be safely discussed.

- Todoroki just nods, seemingly spent on this whole ordeal as well, and also not really knowing what to do with it.

- “I’d had some suspicions,” He admits softly, fiddling with his hands, “But I didn’t want to think on them too closely or get my hopes up- he was dead, or supposed to be anyway. And then that patrol happened, and… I don’t remember much of him, really. The memories are all hazy. I was so young- but he used to call me Sho as a nickname when we were kids. When he ran out in front of me though, I…”

- “You remembered it wasn’t the first time.” Hawks concludes, and Shouto nods again, his shoulders slumping.

- “It was exactly the same,” He murmurs softly, “And it just… Triggered memories of all of these things I’d forgotten, but now they’re all coming back, and I don’t-” He sighs in frustration, taking a deep breath to rein in his thoughts, “I don’t know what to do because he’s not dead anymore, but at the same time, I’m not sure that he’s really alive either. That part of him that I knew might be gone entirely- I’m willing to believe that his actions during our patrol were out of memory reflex more than anything.”

- But Hawks is already thinking about all of those times that Dabi has helped Toga arrange her hair into buns when it’s being too stubborn, and the almost-petty sibling banter he slings back and forth with Shigaraki sometimes just to get a rise out of him. There are other habits too, just little things here and there, but the more Hawks imagines Dabi being a former sibling, the more connections he sees.

- They clean up their dishes quietly, dirty laundry aired, secrets hanging heavy. Before they leave, though, Hawks turns back to Todoroki one last time.

- “You know I can’t bring him back, right?”

- It’s a harsh reality, but a very real one. Quite frankly, Hawks suspects that there’s a lot of the person Todoroki remembers in this new Dabi figure, but no matter how much of that remains, no matter how many different and surprising and kind, soft, gentle, loyal angles Dabi has, it doesn’t change the fact that he is first and foremost a villain. That takes precedence over anything, and there’s really no turning back from it, not now, and not after the extent he’s gone to. Shouto nods, hair falling in his face, though Hawks can see through the fringe that his eyes are clear. There’s no judgement, no upset. He’s more than aware, and something in Hawks’ chest twinges again at how quickly this child had to grow up, seeing the world with such adult eyes.

- There’s something else still tickling the back of his mind, and at first he hesitates to ask it. Shouto’s been through enough today as it is, and he doesn’t want to push too far, but at the same time, he’s dying to know. There’s this sense in him that it’s probably important, and Hawks has long ago learned better than to ignore his gut.

- “One more thing- what did you say to him that day? Right before he ran?”

- Shouto’s hand freezes on the doorknob, literally freezes on the doorknob, ice crawling over his fingers. For a second, Hawks is considering apologizing and moving on, afraid that he’s overstepped a boundary. But then Shouto’s grip on the handle eases, and the ice crackles and falls away from his hand, falling to melt in the fibres of the carpet underfoot.

- “Touya. I called him Touya.”

- They leave the room and don’t look back.

_______________________________________________

- Hawks walks Shouto back to class, only to pull Eraserhead outside for a moment and explain nothing more into the situation than that the youngest Todoroki experienced some stressful things during their last patrol, and that after their discussion that morning, it probably wouldn’t hurt to have him take the rest of the day off just to recuperate a little.

- And with any of the other teachers, he might have been hit with a hardass no, but this is Shouta Aizawa, and if there’s anything that man cares more about than cats, coffee, and the occasional witty remark, it’s rest and his students. As much as he likes to deny it, he keeps a better eye on those kids than they know, and he’s caught Todoroki acting a bit more reserved than normal, less concentrated. He nods slowly, dismisses Hawks with a casual comment about wasting his time, and goes to fetch Shouto from the classroom again.

- The winged hero leaves to the sound of Aizawa telling Shouto that he’ll get a notes package done up for him for the day, and to go rest. There’s some muffled arguing before the older man makes some statement about mental health that effectively shuts Shouto up and sends him back in the direction of the dorms, Hawks grinning to himself the whole way down the hall, until he can no longer hear the two. Shouto Todoroki has had one hell of a life, that much is certain, but nobody can deny that he’s in good hands now and that itself is a relief beyond words.

- That being said, it takes all of ten seconds upon returning home to his apartment and getting the door shut behind him, before Keigo Takami all but collapses on the hardwood and begins to sob. Once the tears start flowing they just won’t stop, and there’s this kind of warm, gentle light streaming in through the floor-to-ceiling-windows that seems to just encourage the outpour even more.

- Were anyone to see him at that exact moment, they’d probably think it made an interesting picture, the Number Two hero weeping on his knees, wings spread about him like some kind of devastated creature of God, light pouring down his shoulders and face as though his halo had melted and dripped like tear stains over his skin. There’s this burning, raw sensation inside him that just won’t ease, and as he lies there, a crumbled statue of a once proud Icarus, he lets the truth rage over him like wildfire, lets the heat of it all melt the wax and burn the feathers, and feels it pull him into a drop he’s not sure how to recover from, or if he ever will.

- There’s this war raging inside him on how to feel, a million emotions crushing his chest all at once. The first that hits him is disgust, disgust for this man that he had looked up to for so long, who had been a hero to him even when he’d had nothing, nobody, not even a dream. He had put so much faith in him, had defended him at every turn, had stood by him as a colleague, watched his back, taken wounds to keep him safe. This was the man he’d bled for, if he deserved to be called a man at all.

- But the emotions that follow after this are so rapid-fire, they’re almost impossible to keep track of, aside from the pain- the pain lingers and grows, makes itself known in every damned crevice of his being. There’s betrayal, both to the person he is now, and to the young child who’d cheered the fire hero on, who he’d wanted to impress so badly. There’s sadness for the world he thought he knew, for the person he thought he knew, and all of that being stripped away to reveal something so much more grim and ugly. Grief for the loss, mourning for the death of something he’d seen as a foundation to his person, the pain so strong throughout.

- One of the worst, though, is the anger. When the anger arrives, it isn’t in a gradual wave like the other feelings had been, full of upset and still-numb disbelief. When the anger arrives, it is as a battering ram of rage that burns so fiercely in his core, he wants to scream. Rage for Shouto Todoroki, rage for Rei Todoroki, rage for Fuyumi and Natsuo, and damn it all, blistering, agonizing rage for Touya Todoroki and the unjust cards he was dealt. When the anger arrives, it’s with the passion of a man who has longed for family his whole life, and can’t imagine how an individual could so carelessly ruin what another would die for.

- When the anger arrives it stays, and it leaves Hawks trembling on the floor long after the tears have stopped rolling, after the damp spots on his cheeks have dried, after the pain has stopped clawing at his throat, and taken up permanent residence in his heart instead.

- And that’s how Dabi finds him three hours later as night starts setting in, and the light from the windows has faded, the warmth in the floorboards gone. Hawks is so out of it, so physically and emotionally exhausted, that he doesn’t even hear him come in, only notices him when the tall man crouches down in his line of vision, concernedly snapping his fingers in his face.

- Somehow the sight of him just manages to drive the knife in deeper, and he has to take a deep breath to keep his composure. Dabi’s eyebrows are drawn together in worry at the scene, hands beginning to rapidly check him all over for wounds of some kind before Hawks weakly bats his hands away, protesting. The cremation villain sits back on his heels, unimpressed, and flicks the other man’s forehead.

- “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all afternoon- why weren’t you picking up your phone, dumbass? I thought something must have happened.”

- The irritation in his voice thinly covers his relief, and Hawks can only manage to blink up at him once or twice before clenching his eyes shut altogether. He doesn’t mention that Dabi hasn’t responded to any of his messages until today either, figures a fight isn’t what either of them need right now.

- “I talked to Shouto today,” He says quietly, voice so hoarse from crying, it’s almost hard to listen to. Dabi stiffens, but doesn’t turn away or make a sound, so Hawks continues, “He told me… Everything. Everything that happened, everything that that bastard did,” Hawks takes another steadying breath, choosing not to look Dabi in the eye for this part, “He knows who you are- I know about that part too. And that’s fine, really, it is; I won’t call you by that name or anything if you don’t want me to. I just… I can’t believe that I looked up to him so long, and he was doing all of this and nobody knew-

- And suddenly it’s all spilling out all over again, and there are more tears, but much less than last time, a slow and steady trickle compared to the earlier downpour. Dabi doesn’t do anything but listen as the minutes pass, as the sky grows steadily darker and they’re left in the kitchen with no lights on, almost silhouettes in the room. Somehow, it feels comforting- Dabi has a way of making shadows feel less like threats and more like hiding places, and Hawks has never felt it more strongly than now.

- But it isn’t until he’s done his tirade that he realizes his most crucial mistake- that in confessing all of this, he’s just botched his own story of being done with the hero world, the lies that he’d given Dabi when they first met. He’s just outed himself as a turncoat. And not only that, he’s just outed himself as a turncoat to a villain who is still kneeling over him in a dark room, and who would have literally nothing stopping him from crisping the winged hero right there, not even Hawks himself. Fast as he is, he doesn’t think his reflexes will save him quickly enough in this state, and all it will take for him to be completely defenseless would be Dabi moving his hands an inch or two forward to light his wings on fire, exposed as they currently are.

- He can feel the panic building in his chest as Dabi stays silent, breathing picking up a few notches before he’s suddenly scrambling to get into a less vulnerable position, trying to make out Dabi’s expression in the dark. Maybe if he can get out a window fast enough, he’ll be able to catch a draft and soar out of the way- it’s his best bet, but the kitchen island is against his back now because he scooted too far back, and there’s no way for him to get to a window without either getting through Dabi or-

- The panic attack that he was feeling earlier decides to kick in at this exact moment, and that’s when Hawks realizes that if Dabi wants him dead, he’s dying in this room. All of his instincts and nerves are shot, he has no sense of coordination, he can’t see, the dark no longer feels safe-

- The lights come on, and Hawks glances up sharply from his position against the island to see Dabi with his hand still on the lightswitch, expression hard to read, but not the crazed, maniacal look Hawks would have expected to receive if the villain were planning to outright kill him. He watches as the other man slowly walks forward, gaze locked, until he kneels so closely on the floor in front of him that if Hawks so much as slid his knees a centimetre forward, they’d be hitting Dabi in the chest.

- His heart is hammering so fast, he’s sure he’ll either hyperventilate or pass out at any given second, body trembling, brain unable to focus. He manages to force his eyes closed as Dabi extends a hand out, certain that he’ll be feeling those blue flames crawling his skin the second they get close enough to burn. The flames never come.

- Dabi’s fingers trail across his temple, brushing back a few strands of sweaty hair, before going to cup his cheek entirely. The action is so uncharacteristically tender that it causes Hawks’ eyes to flash open again, the scarred man looking at him with intent eyes.

- “Take a few deep breaths, pretty bird.” He says calmly, not even flinching when Hawks’ hand comes up to clench hard on the patchwork man’s bicep.

- “You took all of that info rather well,” Hawks states, almost accusingly, through gritted teeth. His breathing is starting to slow, heartbeat becoming less erratic, though Dabi’s sudden smirk isn’t helping anything.

- “I’ve known that you weren’t legit from the first day,” He scoffs, looking a touch of smug, but also somewhat offended, “Give me more credit than that, sweetheart. This isn’t news.”

- The simple, familiar arrogance of it all forces a sharp laugh from Hawks’ throat, and against all odds he can feel the adrenaline draining from his system, beginning to relax again.

- “You’re such an asshole, you know that?” Said with a tired grin. ‘I’m relieved this one corner of my world isn’t crumbling down too.’

- “Only time you’ll catch me alive saying guilty as charged.” Said with a smile as crooked as a broken law. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

- They wait like that just a few minutes longer, listening to the hum of the overhead lights, nothing needing to be said for those moments at least. Then, once Hawks has calmed down enough to relocate, they move to the couch.

- “So,” Dabi is the one to begin this time, throwing his lanky form across the whole sofa and stretching out well enough across it that his head can rest on one of the arms, his ankles dangling off the other. “You know about my shitty childhood. I`d rather not talk about that any more tonight, honestly.”

- Hawks, appreciative that he seems to be willing to let to matter of the anxiety attack drop completely, chooses to take a seat on the middle cushion, leaning back against Dabi’s hip as a support and letting his wings fall over the back of the sofa and behind it. The longest feathers drag on the floor from this height, and Dabi watches for a second as Hawks flares them temporarily to adjust his wings in a better position before continuing. “And I know about you not being true to the League. Anything else you’d care to hash out while we’re in the sharing mood?”

- “Yeah, actually,” Hawks shoots him a look and raises an eyebrow, “If you knew I was lying, why the hell did you keep me around?”

- Dabi goes entirely still, one hand subconsciously draping across his chest, and Hawks remembers the comment Shouto made earlier about the necklace. He wonders if the villain is reaching for it now.

- “You don’t ease into anything, do you?” He asks eventually with a chuckle, Hawks’ answering grin speaking for itself. “Alright, it’s… I guess, you know when you’re in a deep body of water and your head goes under, and it kind of hits you that you could drown there? And the first thing you do when you see it is reach for the light?” Hawks nods even though he’s always had an aversion to swimming due to the weight of his wings and has never been close enough to drowning to truly know. “It’s… Fuck, I’m trashing the hell out of this, but it’s like that. I could tell I was sinking, and I didn’t give a shit. And then you showed up, and I knew right off the bat that you were lying to my face, but for once, there’s this light right in front of me, close enough to reach for. I never really meant for it to be more than that.” He paused for a second before adding, “But there was something about the fact that you were batshit crazy enough to walk into the wolves’ den for your cause, and you just kept coming back. You had to know we’d figure it out eventually, and when we did you’d be done, but you kept trying anyway.” Dabi grins slightly, fingers definitely closing around the necklace this time, “That’s real hero shit. I’d spent so long hating all of them that I’d forgotten they weren’t all like the one I grew up with. And I can’t ever be like you, I’m not hero material, but… Reaching for that light here and here, it makes me feel like maybe I can be more than this someday.”

- He didn’t expect this kind of response. He didn’t expect this kind of honesty, barbless and vulnerable and kind. He didn’t really expect to find himself moving to straddle Dabi’s waist so he could be in a better position to kiss him, either, but that happens as well.

- Wordlessly, Hawks tugs Dabi’s hands from his necklace, and settles them on his hips, the winged hero pressing his own palms to either side of the villain’s scarred face, leaning forward to rest their foreheads together. He can feel Dabi’s breath against his mouth and cheeks as the other man lets out a soft exhale, his skin carrying that familiar slight chill that it always does, cooler still where his fingers rest on staples. He could stay in this forever, this moment, safe and sure and grounded. It isn’t until Dabi pulls away from him slightly to trace one hand down the curve of his wing and into his primary feathers that Hawks realizes that in his contentment he’s brought his wings up almost defensively, shielding them off from the rest of the world though there’s no one else around to see.

- “I used to hate the colour red.” Dabi murmurs, repeating the action once again, Hawks fluttering his wing against the fire-user’s calloused hand just to bring a smile to his face. That smile carries into the kiss Dabi pulls him in for an instant later. It isn’t their first kiss, not by a long shot, but there’s something more sweet and slow about this one, and it takes Hawks a second to realize that unlike the kisses they’ve shared in the past, this one isn’t laced with the premonition of an ending. Usually, there’s this sort of rushed tension in their more intimate moments, an unspoken understanding that whatever this thing they have is, it can only last so long. But that’s missing this time, the overlying pressure of awareness, of only whispering things that won’t break your heart later, of never knowing when each embrace might be the last and being prepared to cut your losses if it is. This time is different, sanguine, and Hawks suddenly gets the feeling that things are about to change.

- He isn’t wrong.

- “What if you joined us for real?” Dabi breathes, eyes hooded as they draw apart but still lingering close. Catching Hawks’ incredulous look, he runs his hands up the other man’s arms, taking on a more serious tone. “I mean it. We can get you out from under the Commission- they’d never be able to touch you again. You want a world where heroes have more spare time on their hands than they know what to do with? That’s never going to be a possibility the way things are now. Most of the groups and agencies are corrupt over the profitability of it all, and there’s a lot of heroes in the same boat. Believe me, birdie, they don’t want the crime rate going down- they just want it televised.”

- Hawks knows it’s true- Dabi isn’t just saying this to sway him. The winged hero has seen this firsthand. There are heroes out there who would sooner go into a situation after a disaster has already happened rather than stopping it before anyone can get hurt, because it’s flashier. It’s more likely to gain attention, even if it means innocents being injured or, hell, dying in the process. And there’s all the other stuff too- the notices they get at the beginning of each new year, informing them that if they save ‘x’ number of people from various minority groups, there will be a bonus payout for them by the end of the year, as diversity is good for their public image. Hawks always threw those papers away, but there were some who held onto them, kept a tally going. There are heroes who are only on the field for the money, who couldn’t care less about the people they’re saving so long as there’s a cheque at the end of it with their name on it. Hawks has even heard of a few cases where heroes staged or set up disasters and accidents to be noticed. There’s the Commission, literally grooming child soldiers and people like Endeavor who wear two faces to hide a darker truth from the public eye.

- For an organization made to help, the hero collective is a dog-eats-dog world, and it’s ruthless. Dabi’s right about Hawks’ dream being impossible- because as long as people are profiting off crime, they’ll never allow it to stop.

- Suddenly, all Hawks wants to do is sleep, cut the nightmare short and try to let himself catch up with the feeling of free-falling. He can’t go back to working beside Endeavor like nothing’s happened, he knows that. And to make matters worse, he told Shouto he wouldn’t tell anyone about this though he desperately knows he should, but at this rate he’s not sure it wouldn’t do more harm than good. There may be a time later in the future where the truth can be revealed without completely annihilating the small, fragile, bright world that the youngest Todoroki has been slowly building for himself, but to have the public come after him over something this big, demanding answers and surrounding him at all times… He can’t handle that yet, and Hawks can tell. Someday, but not yet.

- “And after you dismantle the system? What happens then?” Hawks asks quietly, noting the surprised flicker behind Dabi’s blue eyes. He hadn’t been expecting him to entertain this idea.

- “Hey, my job’s just to burn it to the ground,” Dabi snorts, nonchalant, but his hands stop moving up and down Hawks’ arms, and loosely circle his wrists, “I think I’ll leave the rebuilding to those of you who will do it right. Let the real heroes take care of the hero world, and maybe everything else will settle too. Maybe things can be better- and who knows,” He puts on a smirk, “Maybe the heroes will find they’ve got some spare time on their hands, just like you said.”

- Hawks considers this, nods once, makes up his mind and goes ‘fuck it’ while cutting his losses.

- “Fine.”

- Dabi freezes under him, confident look replaced by something much more comical.

- “What?”

- “Fine, I’m in.” Dabi goes to say something about considering options for more than three seconds, but Hawks cuts him off. “No, I’m serious. Things need to change, and that’s not going to happen with the way everything’s going now. I’m a hero because I want to help people, not because I have a license, and damn it there are more people I can help by fighting against the hero track than on it, which is really fucked up in itself. I’m in, and I’m saying that while I’m pissed off and bitter enough to go through with it because for fuck’s sake I can’t keep going back to that place and letting them wring me out until I’m dead. None of this is normal or okay, and I can’t keep pretending that it is. I need to do something.”

- The fire-user just stares at him awestruck throughout all this, and for a long while afterwards too, before eventually sitting up.

- “You’re certain?”

- “Yes.”

- “…Damn it, pigeon, what the hell am I going to do with you?”

- Hawks laughs at the weak pet name even as Dabi cups his face and pulls him in for another kiss, the blond’s laughter spilling out across their lips, fingers carding through Dabi’s hair. It’s a bright moment to end a dark day, something hopeful amid the tentative nature of something new.

- “We’re never rushing this again.” Hawks grins when they both need to take a breath, that warm embrace of security and peace having returned to him once more, settling in his chest and radiating so strongly he’s surprised he’s not glowing. Dabi hums in response, turquoise eyes mostly closed as he leans down to dust a kiss on the other’s collarbone, almost painfully slow as if to prove a point.

- “We won’t have to.” He promises, chuckling lowly at the slight gasp he receives for turning the kiss into a nip, “Welcome to the dark side, birdie.”

#BNHA Headcanons #bnha requests #dabihawks #dabihawks requests #dabihawks headcanons #bnha #mha #mha headcanons #mha requests

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