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serverusslaype · 7 months

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Shameless, pt. 6

snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

omg hey guys... after all the replies on the last update, i almost cried because i honestly did not expect this kind of reaction at all (what an emotional ass b*tch, i know). i can't believe people are reading this, it's mad to me. honestly. i appreciate you all so much, thank you for showing your support. i love you guys :') <3

here is part 6. i hope you enjoy it, reading your comments made me write this today and i think i'm happy with it. please let me know what you think! <3

LESGOOO!!

Hot tears streamed down your cheeks as you ran back to your quarters; your chest tightening with each strangled breath that you struggled to suck in. Merlin, how could you have been so foolish as to think that Severus Snape, of all people, would ever treat you differently? You really believed he could feel something for you? You had the word 'clown' stamped clearly on your forehead right now.

Even though the current moment was not something you would wish on your worst enemy, it couldn't have happened at a better time. The castle was empty of students - apart from the handful that stayed during the Christmas break - and you were free to run, crying carelessly, without the worry of being seen and ending up looking like some sort of lunatic. In your mind, you were beating yourself up; cursing yourself for reacting so fucking hysterically. Your mind was telling you that you had no reason to be acting like this, it's not like you were in love with the man - you merely had feelings for him. But it was a different story with your heart. In your heart, you felt like your reaction was valid. Your heart was screaming at you, saying you're not stupid for feeling so betrayed and hurt by Snape's sudden change in demeanour. You were right to cry; to feel like you'd just been punched in the gut. Your heart and mind were in a brutal, relentless war with each other, and it was tiring.

Gods, you felt like such an idiot, why did you even bother going down with that plate of damned food? After all of the hurtful comments he made towards you, why did you even still waste your time with him? All of the red flags were on display like a high-street shop window yet you still ignored them. Your altruistic, caring, empathetic little self got you hurt again.

You slowed to a stop, stumbling to a column of stone in front of you, hidden in the shadows. You leant against it, trying to slow your racing mind.

"Y/N?" A soft, worried voice called from behind you, tearing you from your destructive thoughts. You froze. Whoever had just caught you having a little breakdown wasn't who you wanted it to be. Even though he was sending you on a rollercoaster of emotions right now, you still wished it was Severus that had just called your name. As you were leant against the stone column with a strained palm, your head dropped down in a feeble attempt to hide your distraught face. "Hi Hagrid." You sighed softly, voice quiet and timid. Slowly, you lifted your head up, wiping away your tears with rough fingers. You turned around with a weak smile and reddened eyes and saw the half-giant gamekeeper stood still with a twist of confusion and sadness sat on his face. His brows knitted together in sympathy as his eyes fell on your puffy, wet eyes.

"Oh, Y/N, whatever's the matter?" Hagrid asked quietly in his thick Scottish accent, taking a step towards you slowly, as if you were a scared animal.

"I'm not sure I want to say." You said, a pathetic laugh falling from your lips as you grinned stupidly at your ridiculous state. Hagrid's mouth twitched downwards. "It's… complicated."

"You don't have t'explain. Would you like to join me for a cuppa? I was just headin' back," Hagrid said, holding up a dead and limp ferret in his hand, "just finished gettin' some ferrets for Buckbeak. He loves these things he does." He laughed happily, a toothy grin appearing on his face as his eyes twinkled. You couldn't help but smile wider at him. Hagrid always made you feel better, his energy was just so undeniably positive and happy.

"I think I'd like that." You nodded, swallowing down your cries. Hagrid beckoned you towards him with a welcoming arm. You gladly accepted and stepped towards him, a few fresh tears leaving your eyes.

"Where's that 'appy little Hufflepuff we all know n' love?" The gamekeeper placed a comforting arm around your shoulders, giving you a squeeze as you laughed. "There she is!" He beamed as the two of you began to walk in the direction of the forest.

"Do you think Buckbeak will remember me, Hagrid?" You asked curiously, sniffling as you stared at the gravelly ground the pair of you were strolling on.

"Oh, I'm sure 'e will, you know, you were one of 'is favourites back when you were studying here at Hogwarts." Hagrid assured you with a hearty chuckle. You glanced up at him, surprised.

"One of his favourites? Are you sure?" You frowned, a doubtful and brief laugh falling from your lips.

"I'm almost cert'n, actually." Hagrid smiled down at you. "He'll cheer you up, that's f'sure. Better than I can!" He added, prompting you to shake your head at him. For a clever man, Hagrid is quite painfully oblivious sometimes.

"Don't be silly, Hagrid, you always put a smile on everyone's face." You protested his words quite sternly. Hagrid's bushy brows raised slightly in surprise at your tone.

"I appreciate that, Y/N, really, I do. Sometimes I can't help but feel a little useless 'ere sometimes. I mean, all o' ya are professors of import'nt subjects," He explained, glancing down at you for a moment. Again, you were already shaking your head at him. "I take care o' the creatures 'nd the grounds o'course, but there's times where I feel like I can do so much more. I mean, Care o' Magical Creatures ain't really a life skill tha' people need." Hagrid shrugged lightly as the two of you neared the pathway into the forest that was rather dim looking due to it being mid-Winter. The chilly breeze began to bite at your cheeks, painting them rosy.

"Perhaps not for most students, but it is for students that have dreams of opening up a… zoo of some sort, or maybe they're a budding Magizoologist! There are so many options, I just don't think you realise." You said, stopping in your tracks to let Hagrid go first. You followed him once he was in front of you.

"I s'ppose." Hagrid nodded as you watched his frizzy, long and bush-like hair bouncing on his upper back. There was several seconds of silence before you decided to bite the bullet and ask about the man who'd caused you grief earlier this afternoon.

"Do you talk to Snape much?" You asked, wincing as you spoke his name. Your heart betrayed you as it began to speed up in pace, anxiously awaiting Hagrid's answer.

"Not particularly," Hagrid replied as the two of you continued walking through the forest. The sun had started to set, casting a growing shadow over the woody scenery before you. "'e's not the friendliest o' people." He added with a dry chuckle.

"Yeah." Was all you said before Hagrid stopped and turned around, almost making you stumble into him.

"Did 'e say somethin' 'orrible to ya?" Hagrid asked sternly, genuinely concerned. His Scottish accent had become thicker out of anger.

"No! No, I was just… curious." You replied, your eyes twitching as you glanced between Hagrid's worrisome eyes and the soil beneath the soles of your shoes. Hagrid stood still for a moment, his eyes scrutinising you. It felt horribly similar to someone else.

"Okay. Well, if he does. You tell me, alright?" The gamekeeper said sternly once more, tone very serious, yet it had a twinge of concern wrapped up within it. You swallowed the growing lump in your throat, and nodded quickly. "Alright, good."

"Thanks, Hagrid." You said quietly, almost on the verge of tears again. Your mind was instantly reeling back to the moment Snape had told you to leave, mere seconds after dancing with you. Gods, what the hell did you do to make him change so… rapidly? He was smiling and laughing!

A few more steps and you'd found Buckbeak who was happily laid down beside a tree, leaning against the humungous trunk with tired eyes. "There ya'are, Buckbeak, we been lookin' for ya all over!" Hagrid beamed, that happy smile back on his face. A smile picked at your lips as you watched him walk over to his beloved pet, dangling a ferret out of his hand. Buckbeak almost immediately stood up at the sight of either Hagrid or the ferret - you had money on the ferret, no disrespect to Hagrid. He chirped and bounced over to Hagrid before halting to bow. Hagrid returned the gesture and proceeded to throw the dead ferret in the air. Buckbeak gracefully leaped up, flapping his gargantuan wings and caught the treat with a echoey clop from his beak, a cloud of dust emitting from his ill-assorted feet as they hit the ground with a muted thud. "Sucha' good boy."

You'd forgotten how magnificent Buckbeak truly was. "He's still so beautiful." You commented, stepping towards the creature cautiously. Hagrid turned to look at you with a bright, gappy-toothed grin.

"He is." Hagrid agreed proudly, turning back to admire Buckbeak. It warmed your heart, almost making you forget about the whole ordeal earlier on. "Want ta say 'ello?"

"Always," You smiled, stepping to stand beside Hagrid. You bowed to Buckbeak who was currently staring at you with beady, curious eyes, pawing at the ground with his talons absentmindedly. "Hi Buckbeak, remember me?" You said slowly, staying where you were stood, a little worried of his reaction. Hagrid frowned down at you and gave you a shove towards the beast, in which Buckbeak flared his wings suddenly out of fright. You gasped.

"S'alright, he won't 'urt ya." Hagrid soothed. You swallowed and stepped closer to the creature and held out your hand. "It's Y/N, Y/N L/N, boy, d'ya remember 'er?" He asked giddily. Buckbeak squawked, his head twitching in every direction as he stared at you. He froze for a moment before chirping happily and bounding over to you.

"Hey, boy!" You giggled as Buckbeak pressed his cold, smooth beak against your cheek, chirping once more as he recognised you. "It's been a long time, I know, I'm sorry." Another ticklish giggle escaped your lips as he lowered his head to nudge your hand, encouraging you to pet him. You did so, raising your hand to tickle his neck. You watched as your fingers disappeared beneath his thick coat of silver-grey feathers, giving him a scratch just below his ear.

"Told ya 'e had a soft spot f'ya." Hagrid said knowingly, swaying back and forth on his heels. "Want ta' feed 'im?" He asked, holding out a ferret. You glanced at Hagrid and nodded eagerly, holding out your hands. He chucked it to you and you reached up your hands to grab it, taking a step back from Buckbeak.

"Are you a good boy, Buckbeak?" You hummed happily, waving the limp ferret at him. He squawked softly at you, as if to say 'Give me the damn ferret! Stop waving it in my face!'. A grin broke out on your face and you threw the small carcass lightly in the air, watching in awe as Buckbeak leaped up to catch it once more.

Once night had fallen, Hagrid and you headed back to his hut for a drink of wine, since you both agreed it was too late for tea. The two of you were now sat merrily around his rickety, circular wooden dining table, a glass of sweet Elven wine in your hands. Loud, careless laughter erupted from your lips as Hagrid told you a story of how he caught Benjamin Bluewater - surprise, surprise - in the act of planting a magical fart bomb on Professor McGonagall's chair in her classroom.

"I tell ya', Y/N, tha' boy was a menace!" Hagrid boomed with raucous laughter, leaning back in his chair. You joined him, wiping a stray tear from your eye as your laughter died down. "Ain't never seen 'im look so terrified in all 'is life when I found 'im."

"Y'know," You slurred, smacking your lips together as you tried to wet them. "He also pranked Snape in, err, fourth year I think." You snickered, clenching your jaw slightly as your chest tightened at the mention of his name. You might have been drunk, but it still hurt to think about him. "Bluewater seemed to favour the foul-smelling pranks."

"Yeah," Hagrid sighed, staring out of the window in a drunken, hazy state. He waited a moment before turning back to you, taking another sip of his wine, tutting. "Who was yer favourite teacher then?"

"McGonagall, definitely," You answered quickly, a brief, drunk giggle escaping your lips. Hagrid smiled at you; happy you were feeling a little better. "I'd always got along well with her, and I still do now."

"Minerva's'a sweet soul." Hagrid nodded, his eyes growing lazy as the wine was beginning to take effect.

"Yes, she's… lovely." You agreed, drawling slightly, noticing Hagrid's tired state as you looked at him. "I… think I'm going to… make a move, Hagrid." You announced, sipping your wine again. Hagrid was swaying in his seat currently, absolutely hammered. You snorted loudly at him, catching his attention as his head snapped towards you.

"Wha'?" He slurred, giggling like a child.

"Nothin', nothing," You grinned to yourself, standing up with the glass of wine in your hand, swaying slightly. You quickly downed the rest of it and placed it sloppily on the wooden table, wincing a little as it almost broke. "Thanks for this evening Hagrid, it was bloody brilliant. And the wine," you said, grabbing the wine glass again, holding it up heavy-handedly, "the wine was bloody brilliant too." You giggled again, losing your composure as you looked to the gamekeeper who was now blinking each eye manually. You placed the glass down on the table, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. "Oh my gods, Hagrid, please, get to bed."

"No, am fine! I'll see yee' out," He squeezed his eyes shut and stood up from the table, stumbling through his hut to reach the front door, wine glass still in hand. You had to hold back a snicker as he almost tripped over Fang.

Hagrid held out his arms rather widely, eyes shut and a big dopey smile on his face. You gave him a big hug and stepped back, patting his arm. "Thanks again, Hagrid, see ya tomorrow." You grinned drunkenly at him, stumbling through his door and down the steps. You gasped slightly as your foot hit the soft, uneven grass. The sound of Hagrid shutting his door with a loud, accidental slam startled you slightly as you jumped, quickly turning around to spot Hagrid waving out his window at you. He looked like one of those oriental waving-cat statues you'd find in Muggle store windows. You laughed again and waved, beginning to walk back to the castle carefully, albeit rather drunkenly.

You were alone with your thoughts again as you walked up the grassy hills, the cold and chilly air beginning to freeze you. As you started to chill, you increased your pace slightly, breaking into a jog. The ground beneath you began to spin.

Gods, you were fucking wasted. That damned elven wine.

"Oh, shit," You choked out as you tripped up the stone steps, landing on your hands and knees. You winced slightly at the sharp pain shooting through your limbs, and slowly got up, a loud and tired sigh leaving your lungs. "Shit."

"Professor L/N?" A familiar, irritating voice came from your right as you entered the castle, the comforting warmth engulfing your body.

Fuck me, really?

"Lockhart." You smiled awkwardly at him, trying to stand up straight and act… as sober as possible.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing awake at this time?" He asked suspiciously, eyeing your swaying body.

"Err," You swallowed, your mind racing. "I went for a walk." You said, hoping he couldn't hear how drunk you were.

"At…" he glanced at his pocket watch, "One thirty in the morning?" Lockhart frowned, his ginger-blonde brows furrowing together. You stared at him back with wide eyes, saying nothing.

"Yep. Couldn't sleep!" Was all you said before you quickly took off in the direction of your quarters. Your bed was screaming your name right now and you were eager to answer it's calls. You left Lockhart stood there, utterly confused. You couldn't care less though. As you were rushing off, you realised you hadn't asked him why he was up so late. Bastard, you thought as you speedily walked to your room, deep in your own thoughts.

As you turned a corner, you walked straight into a hard wall of cloth. You winced and fell backwards from the speed you'd bumped into it.

"Ow," you mumbled, rubbing your forehead, "what…?" You opened your eyes to a shroud of black, your heart dropping immediately.

"You should watch where you're going, Professor L/N." Snape's cold voice said, making your stomach do anxious backflips. He has the goddamn nerve…

"Seriously?" You gawked at the Potions Master, that same old feeling of rage boiling in your chest again as you messily stood up, straightening out your robes. "After what happened-" You hiccupped, earning a confused frown from Snape. "-happened earlier, you're going to act like you don't… even know me?" You questioned him angrily, pointing a finger in his face. The alcohol-infused confidence and boldness was in full effect right now.

"I've no idea what you're talking about, Professor L/N." Snape scowled at you, glaring at the finger that was pointed straight at him.

"God, you're such an arse!" You cried out with bitterness, a fresh surge of frustration rushing through you as your hands ran through your hair. Once more, he'd made you cry. Tears were welling in your eyes as you inhaled softly, trying to collect yourself. "How could I even…" You stopped yourself, your lungs burning as you sobbed quietly. "Why did you tell me to leave earlier?" You demanded, inhaling deeply, standing back as you swayed on your feet; eyes glossy.

"You should retire to bed, Professor L/N, you wouldn't want any of your students to witness you in this… embarrassing state." Snape sneered at you. He knew you were drunk. Your lips parted in slight shock as you stared up at him in utter disbelief. Gods, you wanted to curse him so fucking bad right now; the feeling was so overwhelmingly strong that you felt yourself reaching for your wand.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you." Snape warned.

"Do what?…" You repeated quietly, slurring, fire in your eyes. This only enraged Snape further, pushing him to place a hand on your shoulder and shove you backwards against the stone wall behind you. A strained grunt left your lips as your back collided rather harshly with it. Tears brimmed your eyes.

"Don't. Do. It." He hissed, his face mere centimetres away from yours.

And here you were again. Angry. Inches away from each other. Backed up against a wall. His intoxicating scent making you breathless.

You clenched your jaw harshly, tilting your chin up in defiance, refusing to break eye contact as Snape glared harrowingly into your teary eyes. If he was being honest, your lips looked insanely kissable right now, and the tension between you two was driving him fucking insane. Your lip twitched as you continued to stare him down, silently challenging him. Snape could smell the alcohol on your breath and it maddened him.

Why were you coming back to the castle so late at night, drunk out of your goddamn mind? Have you no fucking brain at all?

You sent his mind into a complete mess. Before he got to know you, he was fine, he felt nothing - the word 'feelings' was not in his vocabulary. He didn't hold his breath each time you met his eyes with your curious ones, he didn't feel his heart skip a beat each time you smiled prettily at him and most of all, he didn't feel like dying each time he saw you talking to someone other than him - not that he made it easy for you. He knew he was wrong for feeling that way, and he knew perfectly well that he couldn't have you. But, Merlin, did he want you. He despised - bordering on hate - how easily you broke down his defences and the walls he'd spent years upon years building, protecting himself from the past. Now, he had to push you away to protect you and to save himself the pain. Was it selfish? Absolutely. But was it also selfless? He wasn't so sure.

"Why do you treat me like this, Severus?" You whispered, your brows furrowing a tad as you slumped against the wall drunkenly; the sadness in your voice playing with Snape's cold heart. He absolutely loathed the way you said his name. Each time it fell from your lips, his knees felt like buckling.

Snape said nothing in reply to you.

"Answer me!" You cried, your hands grabbing onto his cloak helplessly as the corners of your mouth tugged downwards; your breath shaky and shallow.

"I treat you the same as anybody else." He said calmly.

"Oh yeah, do you fuckin' dance with Dumbledore in his office, then kick him out without a reason?" You said angrily, slurring your words slightly. Alcohol had loosened your lips.

"Keep your voice down, L/N." Snape warned, his hand tightening around your arm. You swallowed.

"Why? Scared someone will hear us?" You seethed with a blurring vision, ignoring his warning, placing your palms against his chest in a weak attempt to push him backwards and away from you. It felt like pushing against a gigantic boulder. He was incredibly strong. Snape pulled you from the wall and down a darkened corridor, throwing you against another wall. You caught yourself with your hands, your palms splayed out in front of you. You quickly turned around so your back was against the wall. Snape stormed towards you, making your heart pound in your ears.

"Why can't you follow simple instructions?" He returned your vicious attitude, glaring ruthlessly. Your whole body shivered under his gaze.

"Why can't you just be nice to me?!" You exclaimed, growing tired as the tears began to pour from your eyes. Your feelings were becoming uncontrollable and the booze you'd consumed was not helping. "What have I done to you?"

Snape was growing angrier and angrier by the second with you. He couldn't handle much more.

"What more do you want from me, Y/N?!" He hissed at you, his voice strained and almost pained.

Silence swallowed the both of you, your lips quivering as you stared up at him with tear-stained cheeks. Snape's chest tightened with what felt like guilt as he looked at you with uncaring eyes. It felt like an eternity had passed as the two of you stood in the dimly-lit corridor, staring at each other, silent as a mouse.

"I…" You croaked, shutting your mouth almost immediately, pursing your lips. The wine was coursing through you freely now, silently encouraging you to make bad decisions. It was egging you on, whispering into your vulnerable ears like a devil sat on your shoulder. You let your eyes drop to Snape's mouth, resisting the relentless and burning urge to just lean forward and kiss him. In fact, you felt like it was suffocating you. The tension between you two was uncomfortably rife and you were dying to soothe it.

You looked back up into his eyes, you chest rising and falling heavily as you inched your head forwards. Your eyes dropped back down to his lips again. Snape's breath hitched as he watched you tip your head toward him. You were about to close the gap between you two when his sharp voice cut through the blanket of silence.

"You're drunk, Y/N." Severus whispered. Instantly, you reeled back, your eyes snapping up to his. You could almost swear you saw a flash of sadness within them. "Go." Shit, you should not have done that.

"Snape, I…" You whispered back, an overwhelming feeling of regret sinking into your bones.

"Go." He said sternly, stepping away, putting distance in between the two of you. Gods, you really fucked up. Fuck, what the hell were you thinking? Trying to kiss him after what happened earlier? You were absolutely wasted.

Instantly, you slipped away from him, hurriedly walking in the direction of your quarters. You wanted to run away so fucking bad right now, hide in a hole, bury your face and never come out. Tears burned your eyes again and your throat tightened. The embarrassment you felt right now was eating you alive like a parasite.

part 7!

okay there it is... part 6... we're slowly getting somewhere B) hopefully you all don't hate me anymore :( pls

thank you for reading, let me know what you thought!! <3

taglist:

@a-laufeyson

@emilynissangtr

@livillain00

@meowskii

@nooneeveryonenoone

@vesperbatty

@biggest-simp-eversposts

@881127fara

@freshmoneyalmondathlete

@sonoluvr22

@v3lv3tvampir3

@lashipperrubia

@camilla-black

@acakius

@hiddlestonspassionsackx

@tellatubbies

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hobiebrownismygod · 3 months

Note

(today is a day for ideas, good Jesus)

This is like my third ask today but I have so many ideas and I have to write them down or I'll forget. Sorry you have to face the blunt of it. This request is kinda sad, that's also my fault

Hobie Brown x reader but where reader had a crush on him but Hobie never seemed to notice but after she gets fed up with it and moves on. After she does this she's much more natural and sure of herself because she's not trying to impress him anymore, that's when he starts to fall for her too.

Please tell me someone else can even slightly see this vision

Thank you, take as long as you need

And I hope you a happy time

I'm gonna turn this request into a two-part fic because I don't think I'll be able to get the whole plot into one lol 😭 thank you for requesting!!

Forgotten Girl Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader Part 1/2

Synopsis: You got tired of running after someone who wasn't interested, so you stopped...only for him to gain interest right afterwards.

WC: <;1k

TW: unedited, somewhat angst/pining, femreader

Taglist: @therealloopylupin2099 @spiderrinn @l0starl @daydreaming-en-pointe @itsparis-07 @vileviale @puff-hugs @d0ubl-tr0ubl3 @lauryn2558 @sunasslut69 @ask-1610-miles @axels-garden @s6onder

PREV|NEXT(Coming soon)

TAGLIST ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── MASTERLIST

He never noticed you. No matter how many times you made eye contact with him, waved at him, batted your eyes at him, put your hand on his shoulder, giggled at one of his stupid jokes, he never ever seemed to realize you were there.

Of course...he noticed you...but he didn't notice you. His head never turned when you walked into the room, he never looked at you longer than he had to, and worst of all, he called you his mate.

The most platonic term you could call someone.

Mate.

Never darling, never love, never sweetheart.

Mate.

"Oi, whatcha doin' there mate?"

You snapped your head to the side to see none other than Hobie Brown, looking over your shoulder with a slight smile on his face, squinting to read the words on the page of the book you were reading.

You flinched forward slightly, not having expected him, before giving him an awkward smile. "Just reading. You?"

"Just watching you." he replied with a friendly grin before glancing back towards where he'd come from. "You haven't seen Gwendy or Pav around anywhere, have you?"

Your expression deflated. "I think I saw Gwen walk past a couple minutes ago. She was heading towards Miguel's room." You said softly, looking back down at your book and crossing your legs together, trying to bite back the waver appearing in your voice.

"Mmm." he nodded, looking back over his shoulder at you. "You here all by y'self?"

"Yep. All by myself." You said as you cleared your throat. His expression softened slightly and he walked back over towards you, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his vest. "You alright?"

"Fine. Why do you ask?" You tried to avoid his eyes, keeping your head buried in your book.

"I just-" He hesitated, "I don't think I've ever talked to you alone before. You're acting a bit...shy."

"I'm not shy." You mumbled, glaring back up at him. "Of course not." He replied, shooting you a sly grin. "Can't blame me for wondering though. You barely say a word to me, so I can't read y'like I can all the others."

"I talk to you often."

"Really?"

"I'm talking to you right now, aren't I?"

He chuckled deeply, looking down and shaking his head for a moment. "Cheeky." You felt your face heat up and you immediately looked back down, clearing your throat. "Hobie?"

"Yeah?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows at you playfully.

"You ever thought about being in a relationship?" You asked awkwardly.

"Wot?" He blinked, a smile spreading across his face. "Where'd that come from?"

You clasped your hands together with an embarrassed expression, staring straight at the ground. "I dunno. Just did."

"Well...I s'pose. I never really thought about it. I don't think anyone'd have me to be honest." He laughed. "What about you, mate?"

"I'm sure someone'd take you." You replied, ignoring how he shot your question back at you. "I mean, look at you." You immediately swallowed, looking back down as the weight of your words suddenly collapsed onto your shoulders.

He didn't seem to notice, simply laughing and nodding. "I am a bit of a looker, aren't I?" He teased, standing up straight. "It's all part of the Spider-punk charm." he winked.

"I agree." you smiled gently, looking up at him. You were being fairly obvious at this point, but he still didn't seem to be taking the hint.

That was how it'd always been. It was like he couldn't dream of being with you. He never seemed to notice your badly-disguised glances and awkward giggles. The way you'd adjust your suit when he walked by, looking down at the ground when he was in front of you and almost always refusing to make eye contact.

It was so obvious and still wouldn't realize.

In fact, the conversation was beginning to get tiring. The two of you simply continued, with your attempts at flirting quickly being shut down by how normal he was being.

"I think you'd make a great partner." You'd say, giving him a crystal clear smile, only to be met with a, "Oh definitely. Whoever I end up with is gonna be lucky."

The conversation would continue on...

"Very lucky. I'd kill to be in their position."

"Ha! You're a funny one, mate."

There was nothing you could do in response besides nod and smile, silently begging for some sort of escape. It was so embarrassing that you just couldn't handle it anymore.

And this happened every damn time.

Honestly...was there even a point anymore? It was starting to look like he'd never catch your drift.

Maybe he knew. Maybe he just didn't like you that way.

Yes, that was probably it. There's no way a normal person wouldn't be able to take a hint so obvious...he just wasn't interested.

Sad. But understandable.

"Weren't you looking for Gwen and Pav?" You said quickly, interrupting him. He raised a brow slightly, his expression lighting up. "Oh, right! I'll go find them then. See you around, mate."

He tipped his head towards you and gave you a smile. You returned it, your expression immediately dropping the moment he turned away. You watched his lanky figure leave, releasing your breath in a long deep sigh.

There was no point.

It just...wasn't meant to be.

He didn't notice you.

And he never would.

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gojocp · 8 months

Text

"now playing:.."

cw: fluff, angst(??) in itadori's part featuring: gojo satoru, geto suguru, megumi fushiguro, nanami kento, yuuji itadori

a/n: the way i literally deleted all of the fic and had to redo it. also has anyone read the webtoon 'weak hero' cuz im re-reading it and there are literally ZERO fics abt it. also pls lmk if u find any apocalypse-type jjk or aot fics. lmk how this is!! (i think i turned geto in another version of gojo, i literally cannot write for anyone but him its so sad. also i feel like megumi's made no sense LMAO)

GOJO SATORU: 'always forever' by cults. "you and me.. always, forever!! we could stay.. alone, together!!" ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"hey, stop! get away suguru!" utahime shouts, running away from the 16 year old. "nope, sorry utahime! no tag-backs!!" he responds, slapping her back and running away.

"fine! screw you!" she shouts, running to haibara and tagging him quickly.

"haibara! get me!" yells suguru, waving his arms. "okay! if you say so!" haibara responds, doing as the upperclassmen says.

"thanks!" he smiles, making a bee-line towards utahime. "stop it! (y/n) help me, please! why aren't you two playing?" she yells.

"we're tired man.." satoru says, resting his head on yours as you lean against his shoulder, eating a popsicle.

"you were sitting there the whole time!" shoko exclaims. "you didn't even do anything." nanami agrees, having yet to be caught.

"if you need some shade you're free to join us." you say. "no thanks, we're actually getting excercise, unlike you guys. so lazy.." suguru responds.

"hey! stop ganging up on us! we'll sit if we want to! get lost!!" satoru shouts.

.・。.・゜✭・.

after 10 minutes of running around some more, the others decide to call it a day and take a seat in the shade of a seperate tree, not wanting to disturb the two of you. and not wanting to deal with satoru complaining.

"hey, this is nice y'know.." satoru starts, "just being alone together, while the others do their own thing. we should do this more often, just the two of us." he continues. "yeah, it's nice." you agree, looking up and placing a kiss on his jaw.

"hey! look at the sunset!" utahime exclaims, directing your attention away from your boyfriend for a moment. "oo, it's so pretty!" you gush.

"yeah," satoru agrees, looking at you. "it is pretty."

0:40 ——|———————— -3:20

GETO SUGURU: 'lovers rock' by tv girl. "and if you're too drunk to drive, and the music is right. she might let you stay, but just for the night" ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

just like any teenager, suguru believes he can hold alcohol pretty well. he can't.

when shoko sneaks alcohol into the dorms, she convinces the 4 of you to try some. of course, satoru boasts about how well he can tolerate alcohol and challenges suguru to a 'drink off', as he says. after taking a few drinks from his glass, satoru is out cold. shoko decides to put the bottle away and take satoru to his room, leaving you with your drunk boyfriend to take care of.

"please get up, sugu. let me take you back to your room." you say, trying to convince him to get off your lap. "nahh, i'm good." he responds, slurring his words.

"okay fine, stay there then." you say, standing up and leaving him to lay on the floor. "wait-! where are you going? don't leave!" he exclaims, standing up too quickly. you move to catch him, swinging one of his arms over your shoulder to support his weight.

"back to your room, suguru," you respond, "that's where we're going."

"no! i don't wanna." he says stubbornly, wrapping his other arm around you. "wait- stop! we're gonna fall!" you shout. "then we can fall..!" he giggles.

"oh my god, you're so stubborn. i'm taking you to my room." you say, slightly agitated. "ooo, didn't know you were like that." he says, wriggling his eyebrows. 'kill me now.' you think, realizing your mistake, knowing he won't leave you alone about it.

"let's hurry to your room then." he says, leaving a sloppy kiss on your cheek.

you drag him to your room and drop him on the bed and head to the bathroom to do your skincare. when you come back, you find him staring at you, love prominent in his eyes.

"hey, cutie." he flirts with a grin on his lips. "shut up and go to bed." you respond.

"ow, so rude." he says, making himself comfortable under the covers.

"i love you.." he says, giving you a wet kiss on the cheek. "i love you too, go to sleep." you say, facing away from him. he wraps an arm around you and pulls you closer, kissing your nape a few times and snuggling into your neck.

"goodnight.." he mumbles, falling asleep soon after. "goodnight, sugu."

1:20 ————|—————— -3:20

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO: 'see you again' by tyler, the creator. "can i get a kiss? and can you make it last forever..." ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

it's not often you and your friends get to hang out, often too busy with school work.

"wooo! i love the beach!" yuuji exclaims, chasing nobara as you all make your way to the sand. upon arriving, itadori quickly takes off his shoes and clothes, leaving him in his swimwear and runs into the water.

"guys!! (y/n)!! nobara!! megumi!! come swim!!" he exclaims, waving his arms. "coming!! wait up!" nobara says, running into the water.

after placing the towels and bags on the sand, you and megumi make your way to the water. "ugh! stop splashing me itadori!" nobara yells, splashing water back at itadori.

stepping into the water, megumi holds his hand out for you. "here." he says, offering you his hand. "thank you." you say, smiling at him. "eww! you guys are gross!" nobara says, splashing you with water as itadori joins in, splashing megumi.

"hey!" megumi scolds, throwing a beachball at itadori. "ow! what the hell?" itadori exclaims, as nobara laughs at him. "don't laugh, nobara!!"

"whatever.." she responds, splashing him again and swimming off. "get back here!" says itadori. "never!!" she retorts, getting splashed seconds later.

.・。.・゜✭・.

"oh god.. i'm so tired.." you say, heading back to the dorms. "i need a massage so bad." you continue. "i could give you one when we're back?" megumi offers, the others not being able to hear over their yells and shouts at each other. "i'd like that, thank you!" you beam, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

after changing your clothes, you lay down and megumi begins massaging the knots out of your back. letting out a sigh of pleasure, you say, "thank you, megumi.." you say, smiling softly. "anytime." he responds fondly.

after a bit of silence, megumi decides to break it. "you know, sometimes i wonder.." if you look both ways when you cross my mind. "yeah?" you urge him to continue. "no, nevermind.." he replies. "you sure?" you ask. "yeah." he says smiling. "okay.." you say, deciding not to push him.

"i'm done.." he says, moving away and tucking you in. "can i get a kiss?" you ask, as he starts to leave. and can you make it last forever? smiling, he walks over and places a soft kiss on your lips. "goodnight.." he says. "goodnight... i love you." you say, smiling up at him. "i love you too." he says, placing another kiss on your cheek and shutting the door behind him.

2:00 ——————|———— -3:20

NANAMI KENTO: 'for the first time' by mac de marco. "it's just like seeing her.. for the first time..again.." ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

two weeks. it had been two weeks since kento had seen you face-to-face. having to go on a mission out of the country, he wasn't very fond of leaving you alone for a long time. and even though you reassured him over and over, saying "oh, i'll be fine!! don't worry," and "it's only two weeks.. you'll be back in no time." he still worried.

and after two dreadful and godawful (according to him) weeks, he was finally back in japan, handing in his report.

"alright, that's everything. you're free to leave." upon hearing those words, he rushed out and quickly headed home.

"kento?" you asked, when you heard the front door open. "i'm home." he said warmly, with a fond smile etched on his face. 'they're so beautiful, just like when we first met.' running up to him, you wrap your arms around his neck and give him a warm hug, asking "how are you?".

"i'm okay, how have you been?" he asks. "ehh, it's been the same." you respond. squeezes his arms around your waist tighter and places soft kisses on your face.

"what's gotten into you, kento?" you question, laughing softly. "i missed you." he states, placing a final kiss on your forehead. "i missed you too, dear. how about you shower and we can eat? i made your favourite." you say, smiling up at him. "okay.. wait for me, my love." he responds, leaving to go shower.

.・。.・゜✭・.

after eating, you both head to bed and lie down. wrapping your arms around kento, you rest your head on his shoulder and look up at him.

"i missed you kento.." you say sleepily. "i missed you too." he responds. "i love you.." you add, letting sleep engulf you. "i love you too." he whispers, while softly sleeping.

'it's just like seeing her for the first time.. again..'

2:40 ————————|—— -3:20

YUJI ITADORI: "i'll never smile again" by tommy dorsey. 'i'll never smile again...untill i smile at you' ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

'how did this happen?' he thinks to himself. 'this was supposed to be a grade one curse, where the hell did the special grade come from?'

you and yuuji were paired up to travel to shibuya to excorsise a grade one curse. easy enough, right? WRONG!! like all missions in shibuya, something had to go wrong, and in this case, a special grade appeared. you both tried your best to excorsise it, but all your efforts were futile as you were knocked out, and the curse remained in the city.

it had been two hours since then, another sorceror was sent to excorsise the curse. but yuji didn't care, his partner was unconsious and greatly injured, for heavens sake! you had been impaled in the arm and legs and cursed buds were planted inside you, growing deeper and deeper the more you used cursed energy.

i mean, it was already bad enough that an s grade curse appeared, but know you can't even use cursed techniques? the 15 year old couldn't recall what he had done to deserve this, but that's because he didn't do anything. the world is just cruel.

he couldn't ever imagine smiling or being truly happy in a world without you. you were the love of his life. you were his everything. he couldn't lose you too.

'i'll never smile again, until i smile at you.' he thinks to himself. 'please.. whatever god is up there, please save my partner.. i'm begging you..'

love really is the most twisted curse of all.

3:20 ——————————| -3:20

282 notes · View notes

writingforstraykids · 4 months

Note

Hii, can you write something Minchan x reader where Minho gets out of an abusive relationship and ends up at Chan's/your place? 🥺

A/N: Hey there, this started as a short drabble before I edited it and turned this into a fic. I hope this is what you wanted and you like it. Thank you for the request💕🥰

Second Chance

Word Count: 4725

Summary: Chan and you help Minho the night he gets out of his abusive relationship. Due to your shared past Minho seems anxious to intrude. A year later things seem to be going well until a situation escalates and triggers a panic attack.

Warnings/Tags: angst, fluff, tw!physical abuse, tw!emotional abuse, tw!panic attack, bruises, emotional hurt/comfort, hurt/comfort, poly!skz

You hum softly against your boyfriend's lips, indulging the warmth of his body against yours. You feel calm and loved here with him in the safety of your home. Smiling, you brush back his curls and nudge his nose with yours. "Come on now, you promised Min that dinner ages ago."

"Didn't I tell you? He texted me half an hour ago that he can't make it tonight," Chan says and kisses you lovingly. "That means I have time for you tonight, baby."

You frown softly as Chan starts kissing down your neck. "You think he's okay?"

"He didn't say anything else," Chan mumbles against your skin.

"Yeah, but-," you start and stop as he pulls back with a groan.

"Please, I don't want to think about our ex when I'm kissing you," he tells you.

"You mean our best friend, dummy," you giggle and Chan laughs, giving in. "I'm just worried. It isn't like him to cancel plans last minute without a reason."

"I don't know, maybe his boyfriend had plans?" he asks and you huff softly. "I know you don't like that guy, but-."

"You've seen the bruises, Channie, something's off," you say firmly, thinking of the last time Minho visited. He looked tired, sad even, and there had been a heavy bruise on his wrist that looked like someone grabbed him too hard. Chan asked him about it of course, but dropped it at how defensive Minho became.

"Listen, doll, he'll let us know if something's off," Chan says.

"Not when it's what I think it is," you shake your head. "What if he's being manipulated into thinking it's his fault? Or if he's too embarrassed to tell you? You know how hard it is for him to open up and-."

"Fucks sake," he climbs off the bed and searches for his phone. "I'm sure he's…," he starts and his face falls looking at his screen.

"Please don't tell me I was right," you whisper.

"I'm…Minho called. Ten times in the last twenty minutes," he says worriedly.

"Shit, you think they got into a fight?" you ask shocked.

"I don't know," he says and quickly puts on his sneakers, searching for his keys. His phone goes off, loudly this time as Chan had unmuted it. "Minho, what's wrong?" he asks worriedly and puts him on speaker.

"Chan, hyung, can I stay at yours? Just for tonight," Minho says shakily, glancing across his shoulder as he walks down the street to your apartment. "I'm so sorry about this but it's kind of an emergency," he rambles on.

"Yeah, sure, do you need me to pick you up?" he asks worriedly.

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea," Minho shakes his head and quickens his steps as someone walks down the street behind him, getting closer. "I'll be there in a minute anyways."

"You're driving here?" Chan asks.

"No," Minho swallows. "Don't know where my drivers license is. Or my keys. You know me, I tend to misplace my stuff," he laughs it off, almost choking on it.

Chan exchanges a meaningful glance with you. Minho did not misplace his stuff often. "Okay, just ring the bell when you're here, Y/N will buzz you in," he says.

"Chan," Minho bursts out panicked, closing his eyes for a second to remind himself to stay calm. "Please don't hang up yet," he pleads and looks back once more realizing the guy behind him is his boyfriend. "Fuck, no," he whispers.

"What's wrong?" Chan asks, eyes widening as Minho doesn't answer before yelping in pain. Chan drops his phone and races off, leaving your front door open.

You grab Chan's phone and rush to the door, waiting there anxiously. "Min?" you ask worriedly and only hear something crash to the ground, suspecting it was his phone.

Minho winces in pain as his boyfriend grabs his hair forcefully and tries to get away from him. "Please, stop," he begs, hot tears already filling his eyes again and spilling down his cheeks.

"Who the fuck allowed you to leave, huh? You have nowhere to go, you need me to function because you're too dumb to do it on your own," he shouts at him and punches him into the stomach. "Why the fuck would you run off?"

He groans surprised, fresh tears shooting into his eyes. "Please, I'm so sorry," he begs. Minho bends over in pain but doesn't get far due to the harsh tug at his hair. He chokes on his sobs and braces himself for the next hit.

"Let go of him!" Chan snaps as soon as he reaches them.

"Channie," Minho whimpers in fear, wincing as his boyfriend grabs his chin forcefully.

"Seriously? You're still not over him?" he asks darkly and Minho's eyes flicker anxiously. "Out of everyone you call him. I knew you'd cheat on me."

"I didn't-," Minho starts weakly and flinches heavily when Chan's suddenly next to him, one hand on his lower back.

"I won't say it again, let go of him," Chan says firmly.

"I won't do shit," he tells him sharply. "This is my boyfriend, Chan, back off."

"Alright then," Chan says and with a swift move he punches him right into the face, delivering another forceful hit into his stomach.

Minho backs away as soon as his hold on him lessens and hides behind Chan, anxiously grabbing the hem of Chan's shirt. "Chan," he whispers. "Chan, we should leave."

"Get inside, I'll be there in a minute," Chan tells him.

"Channie he has a knife," Minho begs him through tears.

Chan reaches back for him and takes his hand, eyeing the man in front of him. "Minho, run," he says and pulls him with him. Chan pulls the front door closed behind them and follows Minho, who's already stumbling up the stairs to your apartment.

Your eyes widen as you see him rushing up the stairs, tears streaming down his face. "Minho," you say shocked as he gets closer and you notice how hard he's shaking.

Chan reaches the door only seconds later and gently shoves Minho inside. "Come on, let's get inside and close that door."

Minho doesn't get far, sliding down against a wall in your hallway as soon as the door's closed. He pulls his legs to his chest, whimpering as he rocks himself, trying to calm down. Heavy sobs shake his body as he tries to hold them back and his breathing quickens.

You subconsciously grab Chan's hand, too shocked to move for a moment as you watch him breaking down. That's a very rare side of Minho. You squint your eyes as Minho messily wipes his cheeks and you can see the bruised skin beneath the makeup he put on to hide them. Your heart sinks to your stomach as you take a few steps forward and crouch down in front of him, keeping your distance. "Minnie?" you ask softly and after the third time he snaps out of his state and stares at you with wide eyes. "Minnie, what happened?" you ask gently, barely noticing Chan sitting on the floor next to you.

"Please don't tell anyone," he presses out, glancing from you to Chan. "You can't," he whimpers.

"Don't tell anyone what?" Chan asks calmly. He knows what he saw out there but did Minho?

"That we had a fight. No one can know," he says desperately.

"Why?" Chan asks patiently and fear flickers in Minho's eyes. "What happens if someone knows?"

Minho shakes his head rapidly, backing further away against the wall. "Please don't."

"What?" Chan asks and reaches out for him, placing his hand on his knee.

Minho whimpers in fear, flinching heavily, and pushes himself up. "This was a mistake," he says and stumbles toward your door. "Sorry for bothering you two."

"No, Min, you're not bothering us," you try to get up but Chan holds you back, reading the situation better than you.

"Kitten?" he asks and Minho stops in his tracks at that old term of endearment. "Please stay? You're safe here, we don't have to talk about it today, I promise."

Minho hugs himself and glances at the door, torn between his options. "I-uhm-I don't know if…," he trails off meeting your worried eyes.

"It's okay, you can stay," you assure him gently. "We have all the time you need."

"It's fine, I'll just go back home," he chokes on the last word, his eyes betraying him.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Chan tells him gently.

"Listen, Chan, just because things with you were different doesn't mean it's all bad," Minho grows defensive.

"Different? You mean because I didn't hit you in the middle of the street?" he asks and you contort your face, unsure of how Minho would take that. "Come on, you know better than that. You don't deserve to be treated this way."

"Yes, I do," Minho whispers. "I deserve every little bit of it because it's my own fault I gave up on something good. I gave up on you."

"Sometimes things don't work the way we want them to…but you didn't give up on us. And we won't give up on you now," Chan says firmly.

Minho's face falls in a sob as he gives in. "Channie," he whimpers and Chan gets up slowly.

"Can I give you a hug?" he asks caringly and Minho nods anxiously. "Okay, deep breaths," he says as he steps closer and Minho subconsciously takes a step back. "I'm here, it's okay," he promises softly, holding his hand out for him. "It's Channie, remember?" he asks soothingly and Minho nods, seeming as if he has to process that information first. Chan very gently places his hands on Minho's shoulders first before fondling down his arms. "Easy there," he whispers and takes another step forward, carefully wrapping his arms around him. "That's okay, kitten?"

Minho nods weakly and buries his face in his shoulder, hugging him back hesitantly. "I can't breathe," he whispers, clutching his shirt as he feels the panic still boiling deep inside of him.

"Y/N, come here," Chan tells you, still keeping his volume down. "Is it okay if Y/N hugs you too?" he asks, soothingly rubbing his back. "You need to feel some kind of weight or pressure to calm down right?"

Minho bites back a sob, hearing that Chan still remembers that. "Yeah," he answers shakily and sucks in a sharp breath.

You follow Chan's instructions, stepping behind Minho and hugging him as well. You and Chan trap him between your bodies and hug him tightly. "Okay, Minnie, now breathe in deep through your nose…and out through the mouth. Deep breaths," you tell him, guiding him through it. You have witnessed him panicking once before after their video shoot high up on that helicopter landing platform. It feels like ages ago.

Minho grows calmer in your hold after a while, his breathing calms and his body stops shaking. Instead he's shivering with exhaustion and the adrenaline leaving his body. "I promise I'll be gone tomorrow," he tells you quietly.

"We'll talk about that tomorrow. One step at a time, okay?" Chan says soothingly and exchanges a worried look with you. "Let's go and sit down?"

"That sounds like a good idea," you nod, gently nudging Minho forward into your apartment. You don't have to tell him the directions, this has been his home before after all. You go to grab some warm blankets and Chan takes his laptop and headphones from the sofa to make some room. Minho stands still in the middle of your living room, anxiously fidgeting with the sleeve of his sweater. "Chan, why don't you go and help Min put on some comfy clothes?"

Chan turns to look at you and glancing at Minho makes him realize your intention. "Sure, come on," he says and carefully takes his hand pulling him with him. Minho follows him until they reach your bedroom and he comes to a sudden stop. "Min?" he asks.

"I-uh-I'm sorry," he shakes his head, following him inside. The amount of memories crashing down on him steals his breath for a moment. It's still the same bed, curtains and even the pictures of his cats are still on your desk in the corner. He remembers the many intimate moments he spent here with both you and Chan, the many nights and lazy mornings. "It's too much," he whispers.

Chan closes the closet and tilts his head at him. "What is?"

"This here," he says, vaguely waving through the room. "I can't go back to his place, because that's not home. This isn't either because it was before I fucked it all up. I have nowhere to go and-," tears brim his eyes all over again and he huffs at himself in utter frustration. "God, I'm so stupid."

Chan sits down at the edge of the bed and pats the space next to him. "Come here," he says and after a moment of hesitation he does. "I know you're going through shit right now, your feelings are all over the place and you're scared and confused. But you're not alone, you don't have to be."

Minho chews on his lower lip and stares down as Chan carefully takes his hand again. "He was right."

"About what?" he asks calmly.

"I am still in love with the two of you. I do think about what I lost here a lot…but I never told him that," he confesses quietly. "I was so scared that things wouldn't work out or our fans wouldn't accept us the way we were that I freaked out, destroying the thing I was so scared of losing."

Chan swallows softly and fondles his knuckles as he listens. "How long has this been going on?"

"What? The screaming? The hitting? The hairpulling?" Minho asks sarcastically before exhaling loudly. "A month into the relationship."

"A-Minho that's been five months," Chan exclaims in shock.

"I know," he nods and stares into the distance. "I felt like I deserved it. He encouraged that and I got stuck in this shitty cycle of wanting to be useful for that person you fear but strangely still love."

"What did he do?" Chan asks and a shadow travels over Minho's face.

"Not tonight," he shakes his head and gives him a sad smile. "If that's okay."

"Okay, yeah, of course," Chan nods quickly. "You don't have to say anything but…we love you too. And we miss you, we miss your dumb jokes and sassy comments. We miss your adorable laugh and Y/N misses you every time she has to glam up all on her own. So, we think about you a lot as well. What I'm trying to say is that if you'd ever feel ready, we're there. If not, we'll always be your friends and this means you can stay with us for as long as you want to, no matter what you choose. It's your choice, okay?"

"Okay," he whispers and drops his head, burying his face in his shoulder.

"But that's also not something to discuss tonight," Chan says, planting a tiny kiss on his hair. "Just wanted you to know you're always welcome here."

Minho squeezes his hand tightly. "Thank you."

Chan stays there with him for another while, mindlessly rubbing his knuckles and whispering soothing nonsense to him from time to time. He doesn't know how long they stay there like this but it seems to help Minho's body calm down. You come to look for them after a while, your expression softening seeing them.

You sit down at Minho's other side and gently pat his thigh. "Hey there, doing a little better?"

He hums gently and blindly reaches out for your hand, squeezing it as he finds it. "I love you, you know that right?" he asks and you're too stunned to answer for a second.

"I-uh-yeah, I guess I do," you stammer and Chan flashes you a compassionate smile.

Minho pulls away from Chan's shoulder and turns to look at. "I know I fucked up, Y/N, even if you say I didn't. I didn't hurt you on purpose."

"I know," you say quietly.

"I just…I was scared," Minho says and lets go of Chan's and your hands. "And now I'm back here and I've never been more scared in my life before," he admits shakily and rubs his thighs, trying to steady himself.

"He can't hurt you here, I promise," you try to soothe him.

"I'm scared of what that shit did to me," he shakes his head. "I'm scared of him. I'm scared to lose you because I'll be a burden now…and it fucking terrifies me that I'm so open and honest about my feelings right now," he adds at the end making you all laugh.

"That means you're making progress," you say and a weak smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

"We can work this all out together…and if there are things we can't deal with we'll find someone who can," Chan adds and Minho nods thankfully.

"I want you to keep that up and be very clear about your boundaries with us, okay?" you ask. "We don't want to trigger anything or make you feel uncomfortable."

"I can try," Minho promises bravely.

"And don't hesitate asking us if you need anything," Chan continues.

"I will," he nods.

You pull him into a hug and bury your face in his hair, tears brimming your eyes as he hugs you back tightly. "We got you, Minnie."

One year later

Chan paces your shared apartment, phone clutched in his hand, as he tries to stay calm. You can tell he has trouble doing so, noticing the way his hands shake, his chest heaves with irregular breaths, and the worry clouding his usually soft brown eyes. Your boyfriend checks the time once again, a low groan slipping from his lips as he realizes only five minutes have passed since he last checked.

“Channie,” you say very gently, and he stops, staring at you with wide eyes. “Come here, sit down for a minute.”

“Can’t,” he shakes his head and continues the reckless pace from before.

“I’m sure he’s alright,” you say, trying to convince yourself at the same time.

“You don’t know that,” he shakes his head firmly. “What if that asshole met him somewhere and-” his voice breaks, and he quickly shuts his mouth again.

“Chan,” you say firmly. “We can’t keep on expecting the worst. Nothing has happened in a year. Min’s an adult, he can do what he wants. If he decides to stay away for a whole day, then that’s his choice.”

“He’s not thinking straight at the moment, you know that. Now that he's been with us for a whole year everything comes up again. He’s emotional; he keeps on seeking our help, trying not to bother us, and I need to keep him safe, I-” he breaks off again as he meets your eyes.

“Stop making what happened to him your fault,” you tell him. “I know he means a lot to you, I know you want to keep him safe, but stop blaming yourself for what his ex did.”

“He called me Y/N. Repeatedly. I was busy making out with you as this asshole hurt him,” he says, getting more emotional with every passing minute. “And still, he came here as soon as he could.”

You have enough and slip off your chair, making your way over to him. “That’s because he trusts you…and sometimes you have to trust him too,” you say and offer him a hug.

Chan pulls you into his arms and buries his face in your hair. He can feel your heart racing against his chest and snorts. “So much to staying calm.”

“It’s not that I’m not worried myself, Channie,” you remind him calmly.

You still remember the night one year ago as if it was yesterday. Not a night has passed since then without him joining the two of you in your bed at night, first as your friend, then in search for the love he thought he lost. Time healed the bruises, the split lip but not the scars left on his heart, and the fear that was still deep in his bones. By now you were finding your routine as a throuple but there was still a lot to figure out. So, of course, Chan gets worried when Minho doesn’t show up for a whole day and doesn’t answer his phone.

The front door to your apartment opens, and you look up surprised as Minho strolls in calmly, two bags in his hand, keys in the other. He frowns softly as he spots the two of you and tilts his head at you, meeting your eyes. "You're okay?"

Chan lets go of you, and you can tell his worries get replaced by anger, which is also a very familiar part of him worrying to you. “Where the fuck have you been?” he asks firmly.

“What?” Minho asks confused, flinching at the harsh tone.

“I tried calling you for like a hundred times, Min. I’ve been worried sick all day about you!” Chan goes on, letting his anger flow freely now.

"Chan," you try gently.

Minho’s stomach turns painfully as the common fear of what is about to unfold takes hold of him. He puts down the bags shakily, bracing himself for all the hurtful words that would leave his hyung's mouth at any second. He deserves every one of them. "I-I turned off my phone," he says quietly.

"You can't be serious," Chan snaps, and you glance at him worriedly. "I told you always to keep that damn thing close so I can find you when something happens."

"I-I'm sorry, hyung," Minho says shakily, staring at the floor in front of him. "I know that was stupid. I'm stupid."

"You're not stupid, Min," you chime in gently, but the younger male shakes his head firmly.

"I am," he presses out, body shaking in fear as he feels put back into a situation he thought he escaped.

"I told you so often," Chan insists tiredly, voice growing more gentle. "How could you forget that?"

"I'm sorry," he whimpers, tears shooting to his eyes and spilling right down his cheeks. "I-I should've told you. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," he starts, sounding a little panicked. "I'm so stupid, I'm sorry I worried you. Please don't punish me."

Chan's whole demeanor changes at that sudden breakdown, face falling. "Fuck," he breathes out, realizing how triggering this must've been. "Minho, no one is going to punish you," he says gently, making his way over, not knowing that being soft was exactly what Minho got before the snap.

Minho subconsciously takes a step back, shivering. "Please, I'll do better, I promise," he tries to save himself. Stumbling back blindly, he trips over Chan's backpack and falls backward, hitting his head at the front door as he crashes onto the ground.

"Shit," you breathe out shocked.

By the time Chan reaches him to help him up, he's sobbing, curling up on the floor and protecting his head. "Min, hey, hey, it's okay," Chan tries, crouching down. The moment he touches him, Minho screams in fear, making him flinch back.

"Please," he sobs, making himself even smaller.

Chan looks back at you, eyes filling with tears and practically screaming for help. He backs away quietly from Minho as you make your way over.

You crouch down next to him and hesitantly place your hand on his lower back. "Minnie," you say soothingly, knowing no one else but Chan and you called him that. "Minnie, angel, you're safe. I'm here, no one can hurt you, okay?" Your voice breaks through the fog of panic, and Minho scrambles onto his knees, lunging forward and holding onto you tightly. You hold onto him just as tight, soothingly running your hand through his hair. "Shh, it's okay," you whisper and rock him in your arms. "It's okay, you're safe."

Minho sobs into your sweater, holding onto you for dear life. He tries focusing on your scent, how your hair feels beneath his fingertips, and how your body is warm against his. He tries pushing all the dark memories aside, reminding himself that he is, in fact, safe. Safe in your warm embrace.

You glance over at Chan, who watches you, still standing in the same spot. The guilt in his eyes is overwhelming, and he doesn't bother wiping away the tears running down his cheeks. You hold out your hand for him, but he shakes his head weakly. "Channie babe, come here," you say soothingly. "Chan was just worried, he didn't mean to upset you, dear," you say toward Minho, and the younger one nods bravely. "Come on," you encourage your boyfriend.

Chan slowly makes his way over, shaking as he sits beside you. "Minnie, I'm so sorry," he presses out, hesitantly rubbing his back.

Minho pulls back and looks at him through teary eyes. "Something's wrong with me," he whispers, and Chan searches his eyes confused. "You'd never hurt me."

Chan firmly shakes his head. "Never," he promises. "I'm sorry I got mad."

Minho straddles his lap, burying his face in Chan's shoulder. He wraps his arms around his neck and sniffles softly. "No, I'm sorry for disappearing," he says shakily.

Chan hugs him tight, burying his face in his hair and closing his eyes. He gently runs his hand over his back before fondling his head. "Does it still hurt?" he asks, and Minho shakes his head.

You watch them with a gentle smile, knowing how much they mean to each other. Minho pulls back after a while, pressing their foreheads together with a weak laugh. "I'm sorry, Channie love, I know I worried you."

"Stop that now," he says gently, rubbing his sides soothingly. "I know you didn't mean to."

"Thank you for always trying to keep me safe," he tells him, cupping his face.

"Of course," your boyfriend whispers.

Minho wraps him back into his arms and closes his eyes for a moment before speaking up. "I just wanted to take a walk this morning, but then he bombarded me with messages, having another fake account. I got upset, turned my phone off, and kept on walking around aimlessly for hours. I completely forgot the time."

"That's okay, Min, it happens," you assure him, sitting down next to them.

Minho flashes you a weak smile and squeezes your hand gently. "I should've told you guys. I wasn't thinking."

"Happens," Chan nods and soothingly rubs his thighs.

Minho meets his eyes again and remains silent for a while, sinking deeper into that warm feeling of comfort and safety. "I actually bought dinner on the way back."

You giggle softly and pat his shoulder. "That's sweet."

"And uhm…I saw something that seemed fitting for the two of you," he says, ears burning up a little as he climbs off Chan's lap. Minho grabs the smaller bag and takes out two small boxes, handing the longer one to you.

Chan opens his and takes out a beautiful silver bracelet with a small pendant in the middle. There's a heart-shaped hole in the pendant, and opening your box, you know why: the heart's attached to a necklace. "Oh my God, that's so cute," you beam at him. Chan helps you put it on, and Minho watches you with a soft smile. "Where's yours?" you ask and Minho frowns softly.

"I-uhm…I shouldn't-," he shakes his head, swallowing softly at your confused expressions.

"Kitten, you're a part of us," Chan says softly and Minho's eyes brim with tears again.

"But-," he starts out weakly.

"We love you. This is your home, angel," you tell him and smile as Chan caresses his cheek and Minho instinctively leans into it.

"We'll go back there tomorrow and find something fitting for you," Chan suggests.

A hot tear falls down Minho's cheek as he watches the two of you amazed. "Okay," he whispers and closes his eyes as Chan plants a soft kiss on his hair. He giggles softly as you kiss the tip of his nose and smiles at the two of you through his tears. "I love you two so much."

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/ removed from the taglist)

@soullostinspaceandtime @mal-lunar-28 @malfoygalaxies @brownieloved @rebecca-johnson-28 @euphoric-univers @hyunniebunni @aaasia111 @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @galaxycatdrawz

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vxmpjules · 1 year

Text

,,Fuck you'' ,,Can i have this dance?" X.T

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x reader

Pronouns: Non rlly used

Warnings: None just Xavier being lowk mean

Preview: You and Xavier haven't always been so friendly with eachother but it's the Rave'N and you just got stood up by your date and he's been feeling something for you sometime now so he takes matters into his own hands.

I sat, lonely as ever at the Rave'N looking at everybody else dancing or chatting with their friends and dates. Unfortunately for me my date just stood me up like it was nothing, I looked as Yoko walked over to me.

,,Y/n, are you sure you don't want to come with us? I don't want you to be alone most of the night'' she commented, small glint of worry in her tone. ,,No, i want you all to have fun not to be worrying about me all the night, have fun I don't want this to be a pity party" you remarked with a sad smile shooing her away to have fun with the other's.

Now there was someone's eyes studying your every move, you had no idea of course your thoughts only being on how you got stood up by some normie. I mean you kinda expected it but you had some hope they would've showed up.

You stood up to get some more punch for like the 100th time this night. As you poured the punch in the cup the person who has been eyeing you the whole night approaches you behind.

,,Getting punch again? Aren't you tired of drinking it don't you have anything better to do?" He asked as you rolled your eyes ,,What does it concern you? Think I'm gonna die from drinking too much punch?" You remarked annoyed.

,,Just asking don't have to be so moody all the time, Jesus." He replied with an offended look ,,So what happened to your date?" He asks again. ,,You scared them off already?" He commented as he smirked stupidily ,,No they stood me up." You responded your mouth drawn in a thin line. ,,Makes sense, you're too much to deal with" he sheepishly said looking straight into your eyes as they widened.

,,Fuck you." You remarked angerly with your eyebrows furrowed ,,Can i have this dance?" He asked as the new song started playing and he put his arm out for you to take it. You looked at his smirking face and back at his hand again and again. You took his hand still with the same look on your face, if you're having a miserable night why not make it miserable for him too? He started leading you to the dance floor.

You could probably recognize it as a chase Atlantic song maybe uncomfortable? You both start dancing to the song as everyone has their eyes on you two especially Bianca, whispers where heard all around you either liking the duo or the opposite.

As the end of the song started coming closer you both begined getting closer and closer to eachother to the point where you both could hear your hot breathes hit eachothers faces. Xavier started leaning in closer to your fave, lips getting near eachothers. In this moment it just felt right, the music, the place everything. You pulled him by the collar of his shirt and emerged your lips to his, his hands cupping your cheeks on his hands massaging them lovingly and your hands moving to his neck. He smiled against you lips.

,,You can't even imagine how long I've waited for to do this.." he whispers into the kiss and you both slowly pull away. Your face with light blush and him smiling stupidly at you ,,You were really a bitch just to get a kiss out of me" you remarked moving your hands to cup his cheeks ,,And you still went along with it" he commented back as he got close again and kisses you softly as he pulls your waist to make you both closer to eachother. You smile gently in the kiss as you caress his cheek.

Thx to everyone that read this fic also sorry for not being active in writing I've been very VERY busy with school and since I got into volley I've been busy with that too 👽🫶🏻

#Spotify #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe #x reader #wednesday series #percy white

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maochira · 1 year

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hi hii! i LOVE ur siblings fics!! i once requested an older brother nagi fic ANS I LOVE IT SO MUCH THANK YOUU!! if its okay, can i request older brother nagi, bachira, rin, and isagi and younger sibling reader with parents who is always out for work?? so the reader gets lonely all by themself since their parents is out and they only have time with their brother after their brother go home from school? SO SORRY IF ITS TOO SPECIFIC OR IF THERES TOO MUCH CHARACTER!! you can just write nagi and bachira if its too much! (or you can add more if u want to!) sorry if this request is too long, you can ignore this if you want! anyways i love ur works a lot so thank you so much! i hope you keep enjoying writing :D

Honestly, I love long and specific requests especially with multiple characters because it's just fun to interpret the same situation in different ways, so I've decided to add Barou as well because the big bro Barou brainrot is strong rn <3 also, thank you very much!! I'm glad you enjoyed the big bro Nagi headcanons!!

Characters: Nagi, Bachira, Rin, Isagi, Barou

Requests open - current writing event - masterlist

Tags: gn!younger sibling!reader, sibling fluff, reader is around 2 years younger than the older sibling

Seishirou Nagi (additionally: big bro Nagi after a fight headcanons/scenario)

-because your parents travel all the time, you and Seishirou live alone together

-he definitely takes better care of you than he does of himself. For example, he's too lazy to eat and he also doesn't do a lot of his homework on time because he procrastinates so much. But when it comes to you, he always checks if you've eaten enough and if you're meeting all your deadlines regarding school

-Seishirou doesn't like cooking. It takes too much effort. And because you don't want him to starve or order takeout all the time (it's expensive and leaves you with a lot of trash), you learn how to cook so you can make all the meals

-even though eating is too much of a hassle for your big brother, he always eats whatever you make for him, since he knows you put a lot of effort into it

Meguru Bachira

-Meguru is energetic all the time, no matter how much time he's spent in school or how much homework he had to do, if he gets to spend time with you, all his energy returns!

-the house never feels lonely, even if it's just the both of you. Meguru loves being around you and never runs out of things to talk about

-sometimes you're tired and don't feel like talking. That's when either Meguru does all the talking and you just listen, or you sit together in the living room in silence, watching some random movie

-it's very rare for you to be in separate rooms. You don't mind being alone, but Meguru always gets afraid of you getting sad, so he tries to be around you all the time. In case you really want to be alone, he will definitely let you have your private time and either play soccer outside or return to his own room

Rin Itoshi (additionally: Itoshi siblings masterlist)

-Rin doesn't like being around people, you're the only exception to that. He's not around you all the time, but he checks on you fairly often and asks if you need help with anything very often

-even if you don't need his help, you often pretend like you can't do your homework on your own, so he can help you with it

-since Sae left and because your parents are out of the house so much, you and Rin have a very close emotional bond

-Rin isn't the middle child anymore, he's the big brother now, so he definitely acts like it. He gets overprotective a lot. He always wants you to tell him about your day and if anyone in school was mean to you

-even though your parents are gone almost all of the time, you don't remember ever feeling lonely at home, thanks to Rin

-you know even when Rin isn't in the same room as you, you just have to call for him or knock on his door, and he'll be right with you

Yoichi Isagi

-Yoichi takes a lot of responsibility when it comes to you. He does more than he needs to, but it doesn't bother him at all

-your parents sometimes joke about him being almost motherly towards you. And actually, that's true

-even though you're only two years younger, Yoichi tends to treat you as if you were a lot younger. He's very stuck in his position as a big brother, especially since he's alone at home with you so much. To him, as soon as he gets home from school, making sure you're okay is his main responsibility

-you do a lot of things together, like sharing your chores and sitting at the dining table to do your homework. Being in each other's company makes the absence of your parents more bearable

-talking with Yoichi is a lot of fun! He talks a lot about soccer and you talk a lot about what you're into. But sometimes you talk so much, you forget the time and suddenly you hear your parents being back home, which means it's already late at night

Shouei Barou

-as soon as it's only you and him in the house, he goes full parent mode

-don't worry about your chores, Shouei will do them. That's actually because he thinks you don't clean well enough, but he makes you believe he doesn't want you to do extra work after an exhausting day in school

-sometimes you have to remind him he's your brother and not your parent. As soon as you get into trouble with something, he starts holding speeches about why what you did was wrong. One time he even tried to ground you, but him even attempting that made you laugh so hard he couldn't be serious about it anymore either

-you think you're too old for it, but Shouei insists on tucking you into bed every night. He wants to make sure you get into bed at a decent time to get enough sleep

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updownlately · 10 months

Text

can't stand (when you're not close to me)

absolutely cannot get this idea out of my head so i need to share it somehow. if you're confused on what this is, check this out :) song: notice me by role model

might not ever write this properly tbh

smidge of angst with fluff, just softness between the two characters

in my mind its an alessia fic (im just on an alessia arc don't mind me)

the whole thing really starts after you come back in after a night out with a bunch of friends

the group was huge, a mix of teammates and a few of everyone's personal friends just coming together to enjoy the start of summer

everyone was having fun, at least you were trying your best to make sure of that

alessia however, had been slightly quiet the whole night, not letting herself be as loose as she normally would

it concerned you, but you brushed it off after the first three times she told you she was fine

you tried to stick by her for a lot of the night but you eventually got swept away by friends, old and new

the night passes, you both don't interact much, not for your lack of trying, but it was just like the universe didn't want you beside each other. plus, even if you absolutely tried your hardest to be near the other girl, she was distant, no matter how close you guys sat

when it comes time to leave, alessia's quiet, not protesting like she normally would, adding to your worry

"you sure you're alright babe?"

a hum is all you get in response

when you make it back to your shared apartment, the walk back one of the quietest you've both ever had (and not in a good kind of way) she wordlessly puts her handbag to the side, removes her shoes and heads to your guys' bedroom, not waiting for you

you just stand there, sighing, locking the door behind you. you didn't realize it till now but her distancing herself took its toll on you

the whole night, all you wanted to do really was be by her, in her arms, kissing her, touching her in one way or another, anything really, just wanted her near you, yet she didn't want the same

it didn't help that she was dressed to the nines too, the black dress that she wore hugging her frame perfectly, her hair in loose waves, a personal favourite of yours, and makeup making her look ever so angelic, the world's most beautiful, ethereal human in your opinion.

all in all, all you really wanted was a nice night out with your friends and then a soft night in with your lover, someone who clearly couldn't stand to be near you right now, this night immediately losing its place as one of your favourites taking a deep breath to call yourself down, you follow her lead,

removing your shoes, locking up the rest of the house and heading to the bedroom

entering, you could hear the water of the shower running, sadness enveloping you just a little more

more often than not, practically an unspoken ritual of yours now, you both would get ready for bed with the other, showering the night out away together, just a small little tradition that charged both of you up, the intimacy of it all calming to you, strengthening

you wait for her to finish up, sitting on the edge of the bed, her appearing out of the bathroom practically ready for bed

catching her softly by her arm when she doesn't look at you, you ask "hey, are you sure we're okay? did i do something to upset you? cause if yeah, please tell me so i can fix it" you're practically begging, looking up at her, alessia barely meeting your eyes before darting them elsewhere

"we're fine. i'm just tired"

you knew that was bullshit. any time a woman, especially a girlfriend, said she was tired whilst she was ignoring you meant that you fucked up, one way or another. it was very much a no brainer. yet, in that moment you chose not to press it, knowing alessia and aware that it wouldn't end well if you prodded right now.

so instead you nodded, placing a tender kiss to the back of her hand before heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed yourself

what you didn't see on the way out was the unshed tears in alessia's eyes, how she stood frozen in her spot for a minute, the ghost of your lips on her hand taunting her

she didn't know how to tell you, but ever since the both of you had walked into the dinner venue and heads had turned, many of the gazes taking you in, your outfit and the air of confidence that surrounded you, (in my mind reader's wearing a suit or maybe just a button down with slacks, radiating an aura of power), alessia had been uneasy with the attention

it wasn't often that she doubted herself, rarely on the pitch or during trainings and even more seldomly when she was with you.

so she didn't know why, here in this moment, the assault of thoughts telling her she wasn't good enough for you was the only thing on her mind.

the repeated thoughts of how you could do better, how any of your other friends or the other girls at the dinner would look so much better on your arm instead of her were on the forefront of her mind throughout most of the dinner, only easing just slightly in the club due to the sheer loudness of the music playing.

she thought about telling you, aware that you wouldn't mock her for it like she feared, yet the fear itself of the possibility of you leaving her at how pathetic she was stopped her

instead, she willed for the thoughts to go away, waiting until they would pass before she came in contact with you, knowing you'd otherwise read her like a book (being in a relationship for two years would do that to a person). deciding that sleeping it off would be best, she had made a beeline for exactly that the second you had both entered the apartment.

she knew she was hurting you, you never one to hide your emotions from the blonde, but yet, in the this moment, fear with its hand wrapped around her throat, alessia didn't know what else to do but protect her heart (something a part of her knew you would do too, without a second of doubt)

however, her plans fall short the second you reenter the room, ready for bed, smaller frame being swallowed in a hoodie of hers

as you tuck yourself in onto your side of the bed, alessia facing away from you, the back of her head and torso the only things visible, you consider giving it one more try, going for a gentle approach this time

you roll onto your side, your front facing her back now, running a featherlike touch over her bicep, trailing down to her forearm before wrapping it around her waist

"please talk to me love. it's killing me seeing you like this...seeing you so far away from me, your sweet smile not on your face." its a hushed whisper, too afraid that if its just a decibel too loud the whole world would crash and burn

when seconds pass, turning into a minute, then almost nearing two, you're about to give up and just call it a night

right as you go to pick up your arm from where it laid across the striker, you feel the mattress move from body movement that most definitely wasn't your own

holding your breath, you wait

slowly but surely, alessia turns to face you, her head hung down, eyes not meeting your own

reaching out, you intertwine your hands with hers, your other hand coming to rest at her hip

"i'm sorry"

"less...don't be. just let me in yeah? what's going on in that pretty mind of yours?"

swallowing hard, her eyes flicked up to meet yours before coming back down, gaze fixed on your interlocked fingers

"i just-" taking a sigh, she reminded herself this was you. the same you that had stuck by her even after seeing her at her worst after losing so many important games. the same you that had always diligently taken care of her the few times she was sick. the same you that would always know how to take care of her on her worst days, magically always making the perfect dinner, running her baths, cuddling her until she couldn't help but smile. this was that you. you were that you. and you were safe. she knew that. she just had to believe it, had to trust in it.

"it's stupid"

"wanna let me be the judge of that? plus anything that's bothering you isn't stupid my love. in fact, if it's bothering you as much as this is, it's actually quite important to me. you're important to me"

closing her eyes, alessia inches closer towards you, foreheads nearly touching now.

"i can't help-... i can't help but think sometimes how you'd be better off with another girl. it's silly, i know. but like even today, when we walked into the restaurant, so so so many people turned to look at you, and before you say anything, yes they were looking at you, i saw their gazes scan you.

you couldn't help but smile at how well she knew. even with her eyes closed she was ready to cut off your imminent statement.

shoulders relaxing at your silence, recognizing your genuine intent to listen (mentally cursing herself for ever doubting your love for her) she continued.

"even at the dinner and then the club afterwards, you just looked so...i don't know...relaxed? with the other girls around you. and they weren't worried about you like i was. they weren't stuck in their own heads. they were just there. just pretty, holding the conversations well, making you and others laugh, not stuck in their own heads, questioning why you were with them, doubting yourself, and it just...i can't help but think, you'd be so much better off y'know..."

alessia trailed off, eyes still closed, the last sentence hanging heavily in the air

you took a deep breath in, shaking your head ever so slightly before pulling the taller girl into you.

"less, baby...i don't want any else but you." pausing to place a soft kiss on forehead, you continue. "all night, all i could think of was how gorgeous you looked y'know? the whole time...dinner, the club, even the walk home love, you didn't leave my mind. i couldn't wait to get home to be with you, just us two, in our apartment, our bedroom, together."

you could hear alessia hum at your pause, her eyes still not meeting yours, her heart still not believing you.

"i want you. just you. only you. i can't stand it when you're not close to me y'know. just having you near, hands intertwined, or maybe not, maybe you're just beside me, yet each time my hearts doing summersaults. hell sometimes i can't even manage to fathom how i got you to date me. you're perfect, and everything in between y'know."

it was as your last sentence trailed off that Alessia finally looked up, meeting your eyes for half a second before they fell on your lips.

giving her a nearly imperceptible nod, you let yourself lean in, meeting her halfway.

your grip on her waist tightened, alessia's own hands reaching out, grasping at your hips, tugging you closer to her, bodies now flush.

between gentle kisses, featherlike touches, and quiet whispers, sighs, and gasps, you let your actions speak.

chaste kiss after chaste kiss, you chased her lips each time she pulled away, not wanting to spend even a second an inch apart, not when she'd been so far from you all day.

it was when alessia pulled away, air likely finally an issue that you scanned her face. this time though, all you could see was apologetic eyes and a tired mind.

"i love you alessia. so fucking very much. and just know that you're the only person i ever wanna love. ever in my whole life. i want to love you forever."

and when you received your favourite soft smile in return, followed by a quiet murmur of 'i love you too, so much' against your lips, before another kiss is placed upon them, you know that this may not have been the best night of your life, but it was one of your favourites with the blonde. just the pair of you, cuddled up, loved up, relaxed, together.

you both knew that the intrusive thoughts hadn't left her mind, at least not yet, but you were going to make sure that eventually, no matter how long it took, you'd make sure that she knew she was the only one for you.

(a small part two to the initial idea, read if you want :) technically a continuation)

its why just before going to bed that exact night, you suggested having a date the next day. "just the two of us, you and me, lets spend the day together yeah?

and so when you wake up the next morning, you do so with the blonde's arms wrapped around your midsection, your back pressed tightly to her front, her face snuggled into your neck, slight puffs of her breath tickling your collarbones.

your guys' morning goes by quietly, just pure softness really

it starts of with you both just laying in a bed a bit longer, cuddling after you eventually wake up alessia (after you've taken the time to admire her and her little freckles, and the curve of her nose, and ran your finger over the gentle wrinkle lines that were beginning to form on her face ofc),

the pair of you brush your teeth together, you pulling silly faces and catching your lovers eyes in the mirror before you end up making a mess around the counter, you both giggling whilst cleaning up after your impromptu mr. bean impressions

after freshening up, the pair of you head downstairs, you starting the coffee pot while alessia hangs off your back like a koala, hunching over just a little so she can comfortable smush her forehead into the space between your shoulder blades

breakfast goes by without a hitch really, you both not leaving the other's side for more than a minute at any given moment, even going as far as eating at the island so you could pull two stools impossibly close together

its as you get both get dressed and alessia's asking you where you want to go out for the day, that you decide that now was the perfect time to set your small surprise into motion.

convincing the blonde to go to an outdoor shopping centre isn't hard at all, since she's smitten with you

what is difficult though, is hiding your intentions from her

so when you eventually lead her into the fifth jewelry store of the day alessia can tell something is up

and when she prods you on your intent, you can't help but shrug, wanting her to witness your idea for herself

so as you talk to the jeweller (you have a good feeling about this store having what you're looking for) you can feel alessia drape herself over your back once more. except this time, alessia sneakily slips her hands under your (technically her) hoodie, resting them on your stomach, skin only separated by the thin cotton t-shirt you had on under.

you do your best to try to finish telling the jeweller what you were looking for without stuttering too much, the warmth of her palms pressed flat against your midsection sending butterflies throughout your chest

as you chastise her quietly without turning around (not wanting her to see the smile on your face). "lessi you need to stop, they're going to end up asking us to leave otherwise" you pout

despite of your tone, you can feel her silently laugh into your neck, placing apologetic kisses along your nape

slapping her arm, you composed yourself just in time for the person you were talking to earlier to show up, a velvet box in her hands

taking the box from her hands, you gently opened it, revealing the small platinum chain, a small 'R' hanging off the middle.

tapping alessia's arm, you grab her attention, her head popping out from where it rested in the crook of your neck

"whatchu think?"

flipping over the charm, you felt alessia take in a sharp breath, her grip on you getting just a tad bit tighter

"i-... what? are you sure?"

you shrugged in response, a smile taking over your face.

"pretty sure yeah. i know what i want babe. it's you."

letting her finger run over the engraving on the back, alessia couldn't hold back her smile, in awe of the way you knew exactly how to make her feel better.

and as you go ahead and finalize the purchase, alessia offering to pay before you can even take out your wallet, you both have the biggest smiles on your face.

just before you walk out, you let her examine the 'alessia' written on the back

"can i put it on you?"

you nod eagerly, moving your hair out of the way.

you feel her fingers skim your nape before she sets the necklace perfectly across your collarbones, clasping it into place

finally walking out, ready to make your way home, you reach out intertwining your hands with hers

you knew you both would have your ups and downs, your love for each other being tested so often. but you also knew that if you had to walk through hell for anyone, with anyone, it would be the blonde beside you, the striker that had your heart.

letting your love envelope the quiet surrounding you both, you quietly made your way home, the silence comforting this time, a unsaid promise of support, of love, of forever.

lyrics this is based off of (not many btw, the idea came to me first, the song after but oddly enough so many lyrics fit perfectly with my idea):

"you're perfect, and everything in between"

"keep going, until they tell us to leave"

"let's dance when we're not supposed to be"

"can't stand when you're not close to me"

"damn, can't believe you notice me"

"now i'm angry, cause i'm fallin' in love"

"i'm mad, 'cause i used to hate all this stuff"

"and i won't let this go, never fell this far"

okay damn. i had to make multiple text blocks, i wrote that much holy shit. its 3k words of an unfinished idea...this is killing me.

i don't know if i'll ever write this one out properly, but i might maybe. we'll see. anyways, this was just a nice little idea/scene that played out in my head that i decided to continue and then eventually added the second little part bc i thought it would be cute (i'm sorry you cannot tell me alessia wouldn't absolutely lose her mind seeing you wear a necklace with her initials). hopefully the cuteness was retained as the ideas went from visuals in my head to actual text.

anyways, i hope y'all enjoyed and that this makes sense grammatically bc this was not at all proof read.

take care 🫶

#storylines #cs #cs(wynctm)#woso imagine #woso fanfics #alessia russo x reader #fluff #alessia russo imagine #my writing

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runningthroughthegarden · 10 months

Note

Hi how are you ❤️? You write amazingly well <3

I was wondering, if you take requests, if you could write a Jack/Ethan fic inspired by "You're Losing Me" by Taylor Swift. (You can decide the ending, line sad or not)

Thanks you 💕

thank you!! yall love being heartbroken, me too!! requests are open, i love doing them :)

you and jack had been dating for a year when he got offered a role in scream vi. you were more than excited for him, even though it meant you would be spending a lot of time apart. you both decided you would do everything in your power to make it work, but lately that was proving to be easier said than done. the last couple of days you could barely get in touch with him. whenever he did reply it was small or dry remarks. you felt lonely in the apartment you once shared. sitting, staring at the walls that were once filled with laughter and love. feeling your phone buzz you are quick to check the notification.

“hey babe sorry ive had a long day on set”

“jack we havent talked in days. i don't understand”

“i know you don't. listen i’ll call you tomorrow”

crashing on your bed, tears begin to dwell in your eyes.

you say, "I don't understand" and I say, "I know you don't"

we thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't

remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light

now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

pacing your room with your phone up to your ear you begin to grow anxious. jack broke his empty promise and didn’t call you. so now here you were, trying to piece it back together. as the ringing stops, a smile is cast across your face.

“jack!! hey, i miss you”

“hey what did you want”

“well you said you were gonna call and i just wanted to check up on you”

“im a little busy right now”

“oh okay maybe we can call again later”

a deep sigh is his only response.

“is everything okay?”

“no everythings not okay! i cant get anything done when youre bothering me all day. im working and all you want to do is talk about your day. im sorry but i really don't care right now”

“oh okay. i’ll let you go”

throwing your phone onto your bed, you break down in sobs.

do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

i'm getting tired even for a phoenix

always risin' from the ashes

mendin' all her gashes

you might just have dealt the final blow

you spent the evening on your bed, shaking with tears streaming down your eyes. you could only thing about how good things used to be. when you had a boyfriend who absolutely adored you. now it seemed like you had no one at all. your heart was racing a million hours per hour and yet you felt absolutely nothing.

stop, you're losing me

i can't find a pulse

my heart won't start anymore... for you

'cause you're losing me

after that night, that call, you made it a point to stay out of jacks way. he would facetime you every now and then. while he got his hair done, goofing around on set, or just in his trailer. none of these times did he seem to notice that none of your smiles reached your eyes. your replies were empty and solemn. you were happy to see him so excited but apart of you hated him for not realizing what he had done. for not realizing how deep his words had truly affected you.

“hey you okay”

biting your nails behind the screen

“lately not really” you honestly replied.

“hang on mason's gotta tell me something. i’ll call you later. love you."

every mornin' I glared at you with storms in my eyes

how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?

i sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick

my face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

your surprised to hear a knock at your door. you open it to reveal your curly headed boyfriend. he had stopped responding to you completely a few days ago, so saying you were shocked to see him was an understatement. tired of being the only one trying to keep the relationship afloat, you let out your frustration.

“what are you doing here jack”

“hey i just wanted to check up on you, i have a few days off”

he brings you into a hug, but you stay stiff below him.

“whats wrong?” he asks, picking up on your mood.

“you ignore me for days and expect me to be excited to see you?”

“ive been busy you know that”

“jack we barely talk anymore. and when we do you blow me off in the first 5 minutes. hell you even told me to stop talking to you.” you explain, tears filling your eyes.

“look im sorry, the movies just been taking up all my time."

“and the movies more important than me right?” you say barely above a whisper.

“no but this is my job, my life”

“then maybe you should only worry about yourself” finally looking into his eyes.

“what are you trying to say”

“im saying we’re done jack. i cant keep putting myself through hell only for you not to give a shit”

“no c'mon we can make this work.”

“yeah thats what you said last time. please jack im going to ruin myself if this keeps happening.”

you both are a crying mess at this point.

not saying another word, jack leaves.

and the air is thick with loss and indecision

i know my pain is such an imposition

now, you're running down the hallway

and you know what they all say

"you don't know what you got until it's gone"

the next morning you find a letter left at your front door.

my love,

i'm sorry. for absolutely everything. i love you endlessly. when the stars realign, i’ll be there. but for now, be with someone who can give you everything i couldn't.

-jack

stop, you're losing me

i can't find a pulse

my heart won't start anymore... for you

'cause you're losing me

stop 'cause you're losing me

crumpling up the paper you begin to cry.

i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy

and all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier

fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me

giving up so much of yourself, you were absolutely exhausted. the beautiful relationship you once had is now behind you.

you're losing me

stop, you're losing me

i can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore

giving up the fight, you were at rest.

#jack champion #jack champion x reader #jack champion x y/n #scream vi #taylor swift

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3332344444 · 4 months

Text

I swear I loved you

Warnings: Dilf!Johnny Cage, Age gap (Reader is 34, Johnny is 56), Blood, Dead (I think that is enough of a warning, actually). Actually I think this shit is sad soooo

Resume: Reader and Johnny are married and Reader is deadly injured. Something happens and they can find themselves again in another timeline

Writer note: I wrote this as my first time writing something about Mr. Cage, if you would like the second part of the fic, pls tell me about it and I will write it. Please listen to the song, I took a lot of inspiration from there

I can't let you go with grace.

Forgetting you is beyond me. You know I'm no stranger to pain. I won't release my grip unless they sever my hands or, at the very least, my fingers.

I don't want to set you free.

But I can't bear to witness your suffering any longer.

Today, in this moment, in this version of myself, I find myself back on our wedding day.

You, in that blue suit you adored. That day solidified that the sky's color truly belonged to you.

There you are again, waiting for me at the altar, a white rose on your suit.

And me, once more in my long white dress and veil, with my brother by my side. Clinging to Tomas like there's no tomorrow. Only he knew how terrified I was that day, supporting me so I wouldn't crumble.

Seeing familiar faces as I walked toward you was both comforting and heartbreaking. Seeing Kuai Liang and even Liu Kang made me believe the war could end, and we could finally be happy.

Despite our 22-year age difference, it all faded in that moment. Nothing else mattered, just your brown eyes looking at me and your restless hands waiting for mine.

Cassie smiled at me, crucial for me to feel accepted. After what happened with Sonia, I didn't want you both to suffer more. Luckily, you both found comfort in me, not as replacements, but as a refuge.

When I reached you, my brother handed you my hands like they were delicate flowers. And then he sat down.

Lifting my gaze and meeting your brown eyes, my soul sighed.

That day, we accepted each other and promised eternal love. Unknowingly, with that kiss, we bound our souls forever.

And even though these memories are beautiful and precious, unlike anything else in my life, I have to face reality. The truth now is me in your arms, fading away, promising to let us go.

This wound on my neck will not heal even with your faithful kiss. And I am not willing to see you cry again.

With the last strength that I have in me, I try to touch your cheek. I want to apologize for the blood that I left where I touched you, but I know I don’t have time for apologies.

“We need to let go, Cage,“ I told you as if it was nothing, even though I choked a little on my own blood. “I need you to know we will be bonded forever.“

I felt dizzy and tired. I just wanted to sleep, and the world seemed hurtful enough to even have me in it.

You were crying, and for one moment, I wanted to stay.

You held and even kissed my bloody hand. One rebel tear ran down my cheek.

“I need to find you in another life, in another timeline, beyond this world,“ You said crying. “It is not as easy to let you go as it seems.“

I did not have much time left, and I needed to make a promise with you.

As I could, I pulled my dagger and handed it to you.

“I… need you to take care of this… while I am gone,“ I told you. I could not hold you anymore, and in a few moments, I would lose the ability to speak too.

You looked at me, and fortunately, Kuai Liang grabbed you by the shoulder and told you to let go. I shut my eyes, ready to let myself go too.

You left me on the ground, but not before you told me how much you loved me.

The floor felt hard at first, but then it just became as soft as our bed. I opened my eyes as I wanted to see you go, but the only thing I found myself with was two white eyes.

“What the…” I said.

I did not really understand the situation until I realized I encountered with Liu Kang right in front of me.

I sat down, touched my neck and, to my surprise, I wasn't bleeding anymore.

Liu Kang gave me his hand and helped me to stand on my feet.

We were in a place with a lot of trees, and I could feel a breeze on my face. I was calm as I would never be in life. To my understanding, I was dead, but I did not understand why Liu Kang was there with me.

But he was there with me, and I hadn't seen him in a long time. I looked at him and hugged him tightly; I missed him so, so much.

“I missed you lots,” I told him. “It's so good to see you again.”

He laughed and held me tight. I felt his warmth and thought that death wasn't that bad.

I looked at him again, and he just smiled at me. He started talking.

“You died,” He said. “But I know how much you loved Johnny, and as I couldn't have another opportunity with Kitana, I would like to give you another opportunity with him.”

We started to walk along the trees, and I was very confused by his words. We were mere humans; how would he do that?

“I am very thankful, but how exactly would that be possible?” I asked him.

He laughed again.

“I am a god now; I will create another timeline, and I would like to consider the love that you and Johnny have. But with this, I have some conditions that I would like you to know,” He told me.

It was a lot of information, and he just spoke as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“I can not explain to you many things, but over time, we will speak about it, I promise,” He spoke.

I trusted Liu Kang with my life; he was like a brother to me. I nodded, waiting for him to keep talking.

“You will meet a new Johnny, but he will be exactly the same one you loved. You will remember everything, but he won't. It's your decision whether to accept this or not; I cannot assure you will fall in love again, but I am almost sure you both will. There are things that are impossible to forget.”

I just thought about it. It was my Johnny, but It was not my Johnny at all. Was I willing to take the risk?

“I want to be with him in this timeline and in any other,” I said.

He nodded and smiled.

“I'm sure this will be the best for you both.”

#mk1 #mortal kombat #johnny cage mk1 #johnny cage mk11 #johnny cage #liu kang mk1 #kuai liang #sub zero #dilf johnny cage #cassie cage #smoke mk #mk11 x reader #mk1 x reader #tomas vrbada #Spotify

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halfdeadsage · 7 months

Text

wildflower -- sam winchester x fem!reader

hi !!! this is my first ever fic that i'm posting here (omg) so real quick introduction :) hi , my name is sage , i've only been in the spn fandom for just about 9 months but i absolutely love the show and cannot imagine my life without it <33 i'm a sam girlie but also a dean girlie at the same time (i can't choose i'm just that undecisive) .

i love writing and reading angst , it's honestly kind of a problem . literally just ask my best friend , riley (@rrylies) they can confirm that i can turn the cutest fluffiest most tooth-rotting sweet scenario into a devastating one . it's truly a gift LOL

anyways !! i hope you guys like this one and please lmk if you would like a part 2 and SEND ME REQUESTS !!! I'D LOVE TO GET REQUESTS AND WRITE WHAT YOU GUYS WANT ME TO !!

WARNINGS: death , descriptions of blood/bleeding , sad sam :( proceed at your own caution <3

word count: 1.5k

angst . so much angst .

---------------------------------------

it wasn’t meant to happen this way.

y/n and sam were supposed to live a long, happy life together. they were meant to hunt for a little while longer and then retire and live their happy little ‘apple pie life’ as dean trademarked it. they’d already talked about having kids and a dog and building their dream house together. they were supposed to be together until they were old and took their last breaths together.

simply, together.

but sometimes things don’t go according to plan. just like the moment they were in right now.

“y/n please stay with me,” sam pleaded, covered in blood. not his own. hers. he held her limp body in his arms, her shallow breaths barely audible for him to feel any sense of comfort.

“i-’m sorr..y,” she croaked out. y/n could feel herself fading away. the oxygen wouldn’t fill her lungs properly and every one of her limbs were so, so tired.

the hunt started out perfectly. y/n, sam, and dean were quick to figure out where the monster was and how to get rid of it. a nest of vampires, hiding in the woods, preying on the little town nearby. bodies had stacked up over the years, but it wasn’t until recently that it became suspicious. y/n happened to be the one to find the newspaper article.

“guys ! i found us a case!” she brought the newspaper clipping over to sam and dean so enthusiastically. she was so excited, so proud to have found a case on her own instead of relying on the winchester brothers to find one for them all. they saw the glint of her eyes and couldn’t say no.

so they went. they should have known it was too good to be true. the vampires were working with a pack of werewolves nearby. they were ambushed. dean and sam had been fighting off a pair of vampires when suddenly–

crack.

it hadn’t come from either of them. sam’s head whipped around to look at y/n, who was clutching her arm close to her chest as she continued fighting off the three monsters who’d grouped up on her. her lips were cut and he could see blood pouring out of a cut above her eye. the beginnings of a bruise stained her cheeks. sam’s vision went hazy, wanting to help her but being so afraid that he couldn’t move. it wasn’t the monsters that scared him. it was seeing y/n hurt. he was frozen in place.

it wasn’t even five seconds later when he saw the last standing werewolf swipe at y/n, eliciting a yelp from her. she swiped her silver blade quickly after and the werewolf’s head rolled across the floor. his body dropped, thudding when it went down.

she followed soon after. y/n dropped to her knees. sam finally snapped out of the trance he was stuck in, rushing to her side. the sound she made when her knees hit the floor rang in his ears as he caught her, pulling her into him.

his hands were covered in blood as he held onto her. it wasn’t his blood. nor the werewolves. it was hers.

his y/n. his sunshine. his wildflower.

she was bleeding out at an alarming rate and he couldn’t do anything. he felt useless, so utterly useless in this moment.

“hey, hey y/n. sweetheart stay with me. please stay with me,” sam practically begged her, as though it would make a difference for her current condition. his voice cracked as he yelled out for dean. his heart was breaking just as much, if not more. the tears built and built, finally spilling over like an old dam that couldn’t contain the flood.

y/n could barely keep her eyes open as she laid there, weakly grabbing onto sam’s arms. she looked down towards her wound. the deep, jagged lines from the werewolf’s claws painted her abdomen. it burned worse than anything she could imagine but the scream she wanted to let out got stuck in her throat, only building on the agony she felt.

and the blood. there was so much blood.

dean rushed over to where sam was holding y/n in his arms, clutching her close to him, like a child who didn’t want to share his favorite plushie. sam looked up at dean and they exchanged a look, prompting dean to run outside. y/n could faintly hear dean calling out for cas before the weak pounding of her blood became too loud.

“sam,” y/n rasped, her voice weak. she couldn’t keep the tears from rolling down her cheek. sam didn’t say anything, barely acknowledged that she said his name, not wanting the reality to set in of the situation. not wanting to accept that y/n was dying. the love of his life was dying and he could do nothing about it.

the wounds were too deep to patch up and the nearest hospital was 20 miles away.

“sam,” she repeated, more urgently this time, before subsiding into a minor coughing fit. the blood was coming out of her mouth as well at this point.

“shhh, don’t speak sweetheart. you’re going to be okay. it’ll be okay. dean’s going to get cas. he’s going to heal you. it’s going to be okay,” sam said frantically. he was assuring himself of this as much as he was y/n. but both of them knew that this was the end for her. if cas didn’t get here in time then she would be gone.

her breathing became shallow as the blood pooled in her lungs. she felt like she was drowning. falling deeper. and deeper. she felt herself panic and her heart trying to pump more blood, so she could breathe but it just couldn't.

“y/n please stay with me,” sam pleaded.

“i-’m sorr..y,” she croaked out.

“promise me, y/n. promise me you-you’ll hold on. promise me that you’ll recover and, and come back. that we’ll live a long and happy life together. the one that we-we..ve always dreamed o-f. with-with a little cottage in the woods. we’re going to have three kids. three of them and a dog,” he trailed off on that last word as he sobbed, stumbling over words as he couldn’t keep himself together, begging her once again “i need you to promise me that.”

“i promise. but only if you pro-mi..se me-” y/n trailed off, getting weaker with every word she said, “that you’ll move o-n. if-if i die, sam, i ne-ed you to move on.” sam shook his head, but y/n whispered a measly, ‘please.’ sam, looking into her glistening eyes, once so full of life and now fading from him, and nodded.

dean ran into the room, and sam whipped his head around towards him only to be met with a disappointing shake signaling that cas didn’t come.

“h-hey dean,” y/n whispered, coughing yet again only for more blood to come out, spilled over her lips and staining them red.

“hey, crazy girl. you’re going to be okay. don’t go pulling a me on us here, alright? heaven and hell are too crowded for you to be joining them,” dean said, taking one of her hands in his and weakly smiling at her. she chuckled weakly, as much as she could, before looking at him again with sad eyes.

“tak-ke care of sa-am for me. and take ca..re of yourself for me, to..o.” dean nodded at her and pressed a kiss to her forehead, one final goodbye for his closest friend and the girl he’d been so excited to see finally get married to sam.

that future was blurred now. no longer an option.

“i lo-ve you, sam” she croaked out one last time, giving him the best smile she could. she wanted him to remember her smile above anything.

“i love you too, wildflower,” sam sobbed, wiping a tear from her cheek and pressing one final kiss to her lips.

and so her heart slowed to a stop. her eyes became devoid of life. her body was fully limp. unmoving. unwavering. sam’s heart had stopped along with hers.

a final tear made its way down her cheek, like the last fall of snow in winter.

the flap of wings that they had all been praying to hear had finally come. but it was too late.

the sound that came next made dean wince. sams sobs had turned into such agony, such rage that he screamed out as he held the body of his now-dead lover. he screamed at cas, cursing at him, the outburst so unlike him that dean had to look away, squeezing his eyes shut.

the screams turned to silent weeping as sam held y/n's body closer to him than before, his flannel and shirt now soaked in her blood. her limp body shook in his arms as he cried.

and cried.

until he couldn’t anymore. his cheeks and eyes were raw and red from crying. he felt so worthless in himself and in the fact that he couldn’t save her. that he couldn’t get her back.

the sunshine was gone and his wildflower was dead and his heart was broken, and there was no way to fix any of it. but he’d find a way. somehow. no matter how long or what it took. he’d get her back.

#sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #platonic relationships #romantic relationships #angst #so much angst #character death #sam winchester imagine #dean winchester imagine #supernatural #spn #sam x you #sam winchester fic #sam winchester fanfiction #cas makes an appearance #sagebutterfly

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hasu-ko · 8 months

Text

belladonna of sadness

Content: hotch x reader, unrequited love, pure angst, like pure pure angst, no happy ending, rossi being the greatest father figure you ever had, 3k.

A/N: Bruh, I'm so into Hotch these days that I've decided to write a fic about him after being on hiatus for almost 3 years. I just had to get these feelings out of my system. You people don't understand the intensity of my feels rn. I considered ending it on a happier note but then I decided that the angst is just so much better. Yes, my mother Stevie Nicks just had to be in this one.

"I'm leaving BAU, Dave," you finally breathed out the words that had been gnawing at the smooth walls of your stomach for what felt like an eternity.

It was a windy Friday night, and everyone from the team had already left after a particularly tiring case. Their thoughts were heavy, and their bodies yearned for rest and relaxation. You, on the other hand, dreaded going home, knowing that nothing but a cold bed awaited you there. It was a feeling that had haunted you for the past few years.

So, you did what you do best and immersed yourself in your work, catching up with everyone's paperwork and going through potential case files. Rossi decided to help you despite your stern protests.

The older agent's head snapped in your direction, utter confusion written all over his face.

"Why?" was all that he could muster.

"They offered me a teaching position at Cambridge. Maybe you don't know this, but I've always wanted a career in academia," you tapped your pen against the case file spread out in front of you as a lie passed your lips ever so nonchalantly.

"Don't even bother with petty lies, kiddo. It's because of him, isn't it?" Rossi sighed and ran his fingers through his colored hair.

You bit your lip anxiously, finally dropping all of your defense mechanisms. Despair that had been lightly simmering within you started boiling, burning your insides in a way that you had almost grown accustomed to over the past few months.

You let out a choked "yes," and all of a sudden, violent shakes overtook your tired body. All of the emotions that had been bottled up for ten years spilled out and wrecked every fine fiber of your being. You didn't know why you chose to tell Rossi everything that night. Maybe because he was the closest thing you ever had to a father, or maybe because you secretly hoped that he would make everything all right, like he always did.

"I just can't stand seeing him so damn happy with her, Dave. I know how selfish that sounds, but I've been nothing but selfless all these years. I've been there for him when he lost Haley. I've done everything I could to help him heal from that tremendous wound, and yet he still chose Beth. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret anything, Dave, but I'm just tired. He chose that stranger over me," you broke down completely, sobbing uncontrollably.

Rossi said nothing. For the first time in his life, he was rendered speechless. He knew you liked Hotch, but he never thought it was this deep and serious.

Now that the dam holding your emotions was shattered to dust particles, you continued.

"It hurts to be in the same room with him, David. It hurts so damn much. That man has brought so much pain and misery into my life, but I still love him as much as I did on the day that I first met him. It was easier when he was with Haley. I never had any hopes, but when she died, I thought..." you let out a bitter laugh, unable to finish that thought.

"You must think I'm an awful person."

Rossi just shook his head gently.

"Darling, you're just a human being."

"What is wrong with me, Dave? Why didn't he choose me?" you lifted your knees to your chest and buried your face in them.

Rossi stood up and wrapped his arms around your quivering form. You looked like a little child, so small and vulnerable. He wanted to scoop you up, kiss your forehead, and make things right, but he knew he couldn't. This was out of his control.

"Nothing is wrong with you, sweetheart. He just can't control whom he falls in love with. These things happen. You could be the most beautiful, the most brilliant, the most wonderful person in the world, which you are, but even that is not enough when it comes to love," he whispered in your ear.

"You know, I always tell people my job is the reason why I never got married, but the truth is, I love Aaron too much. The thought of loving another man twisted my insides in a way that no case could ever. I was so hopelessly loyal to him all these years, Dave. I wasted my life dreaming that one day he would love me back," you hurried to spill those words from your mouth, scared that your vocal cords would betray you before you could confess your deepest secret to someone.

For some strange reason, you looked for pity that night. You were so miserable by that point, and you just wanted someone to acknowledge your misery. People always sought the validation of their pain. They wanted to make sure that their problems were real, that they were not overreacting or imagining things, thinking that compassion and pity would do them some good. They never did.

Rossi took your head in his hands and forced you to look at him.

"We love to be in control; we love to think that our actions will somehow affect the outcome of our lives, but oh, how wrong are we. Sure, you can control certain aspects of your life, such as your career or hobbies, or any other man-made field, but we are helpless when it comes to things that matter. Maybe that is why we value love and friendship so much; because we can't choose who we fall in love with or which people we meet. All of those things happen naturally; one day you just wake up and realize that you've become best friends with someone without being able to pinpoint the exact moment in which the strong bond was created. Perhaps there is someone somewhere on this planet who could understand you better and love you better, but you will never meet them because you were not destined to meet them. Your love for him matters. Don't think that it was all for nothing because you did help him. You helped him a lot," he spoke slowly.

"The pain is unbearable, Rossi," you muttered lowly, tears finally ceasing.

"Until one day it gets bearable, and then it gets lighter, and then it turns into a shadow, and one day you wake up and it doesn't hurt anymore. You need time to heal. You need to do everything you can to help that process, even if it means moving halfway across the world," he got up and poured himself a glass of whiskey, visibly shaken by your sudden confession.

"Thank you. I appreciate everything you did for me," you stood up, legs still shaking.

"You are welcome. I'm always here for you," he smiled a pained smile.

"Actually, I have a favor, or two to ask."

"Anything."

"Promise me you won't tell him or anyone else on the team what you heard tonight in this room. Ever," you stared at him firmly with your puffy eyes filled with pure determination.

"I promise," Rossi didn't hesitate for even a second.

"Also, can you please host one last party for me? I'm leaving on Monday. Everything has already been settled with the higher-ups, so Aaron won't bother with that. I just want to see you all for one last time," you genuinely smiled at him.

"I'll make sure to gather them all on Sunday evening."

"Thank you, Dave," you walked up to him and kissed his cheek.

Before he could reply, you were already at the door.

You watched the people you considered your family lounging carelessly in Rossi's living room from your spot on the kitchen counter and hummed lightly along the tune of "Summer Wine" that played softly in the background. The chain of anxiety and guilt that wrapped itself around your lungs constricted just a little bit tighter at the mere thought of the task ahead of you.

They all looked so happy, and that made you doubt your decision, but one look at the man responsible for your current state reminded you that you had to do it.

Garcia laughed at something Morgan said, and you couldn't fight back a smile of your own.

"Better sooner than later," you heard Dave's whisper as he closed the wine cabinet after finding what he was looking for.

"I'm not telling them, David. I don't have it in me to watch their hearts get broken," you sighed softly, tracing soft patterns on a cool glass filled with orange juice.

"I know it's not my decision to make, but" Rossi started, but you quickly interrupted him by pushing yourself off the counter and walking toward the grand piano next to a huge window.

You smiled fondly at all of the memories created in that very spot. Ever since Dave returned to the team, you had a habit of dining at his place at least once a month. That's how the team found out about your affinity toward music. Playing for them brought you joy you hadn't felt since you played at your mother's parties.

You ran a finger down the keys, and as if on cue, they all gathered around you. The ability to bring happiness into your team's difficult lives kept you going for years. Now, it just wasn't enough.

Morgan and Garcia sat on a small sofa close to the grand piano. Emily, JJ, and Reid leaned against the kitchen island with drinks in their hands. Rossi stood behind you with worry written all over his features. He didn't even hide it anymore. Hotch must have picked it up as he furrowed his eyebrows, watching both of you from his spot in the living room.

Sitting down with a heavy sigh, you spoke.

"You know, it occurred to me that I never played you guys my favorite song. I was saving it for a special occasion, but what the hell."

As soon as those words left your lips, an interlude for "Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You" started playing.

This song was a central piece of your most grandiose dream - marrying Hotch. You imagined playing it for the guests at your reception. As your fingers gracefully glided across the piano keys, the music filled the air with a sweet melody that resonated with the emotions of the day. Hotch's steps were gentle and deliberate as he approached you, a smile on his face, and love in his eyes. You, lost in the music and the joy of the occasion, were momentarily unaware of his presence. As he wrapped his arms around you, you felt his warmth and presence, and your heart skipped a beat. Your embrace was a symbol of your unity, your journey together, and the promise of a lifetime of happiness.

You squeezed your eyes shut as tears threatened to spill at any moment.

Has anyone ever written anything for you?

In all your darkest hours,

Have you ever heard me sing?

The pain in your chest multiplied by a thousand and stood as a stark reminder of the deep connection between mind and body. It was a physical manifestation of the emotional damage you had endured for too many years, a silent cry for help that demanded acknowledgment and healing. Your voice cracked. Ignoring it, you opened your eyes, which immediately found him, and carried on.

Listen to me now

You know I'd rather be alone

Than be without you

Don't you know?

No matter how painful his gaze filled with pity and fatherly compassion was, you didn't stop. Tears blurred your vision, but you knew you had to do it. This was the only way. The right way.

Has anyone ever given anything to you?

In your darkest hour

Did you ever give it back?

Well, I have

I have given that to you

If it's all I ever do

This is your song

A pair of hands wrapped around your shoulders in the gentlest of manners, and you felt Emily's ragged breath on top of your head. You leaned back against her warm and protective chest.

And the rain comes down

There's no pain and there's no doubt

It was easy to say, I believed in you every day

If not for me, then do it for the world

But there was pain, and it filled the whole house. It seized the hearts of your teammates as well. Garcia's loud sob managed to reach your ears even through the music. You didn't look at her. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't tear your eyes away from a single tear that traveled down Hotch's beautiful face.

You managed to rasp out the final words.

So if not for me, then do it for yourself

If not for me, then do it for the world

Suddenly, the air in the living room became incredibly heavy, suffocating you to the point where you thought your whole body would snap in two. Before anyone could react, you jumped out of Emily's arms and ran toward the door that led to the backyard.

Crisp October air filled your cramped lungs instantly, and you allowed yourself to breathe. Goosebumps formed under the long, flowy chiffon sleeves of your dress of choice for that night, and you couldn't tell if it was from the cold breeze or the whirlwind of emotions wreaking havoc inside of you. Your gaze climbed up and steadied itself on the full moon stuck to the heavens above. The moon had been your best friend for such a long time, and you pitied her for having to listen to your hushed secrets and anguished cries. The tears had dried along the way, and you looked at her with wide and watery eyes. You wanted nothing more than to climb up there, hide yourself in whatever hole she offered you, and wither away.

A presence next to you disturbed you from your train of thought, and soon after, Hotch's scent empowered every one of your senses.

"Beautiful. Isn't she?" you broke the silence, your tone of voice back to normal.

"Yes. I haven't looked up at the sky in such a long time," he crossed his arms over his chest.

You hummed mostly to yourself as you took another step toward the edge of Rossi's porch.

"How is Jack doing? With so much work at our hands, I haven't been able to visit him in what feels like months," you placed your elbows on the wooden fence in front, leaning at the same time in a desperate attempt to create more space between the two of you.

"Good. Great, actually. He's been asking about you, wondering why you don't stop at ours as much as you used to. I've been asking myself the same question for quite a while," he didn't miss a beat and mimicked your movements, letting his forearm brush against yours in the process.

In an instant, the ache soared in your chest again, and you let out a strangled breath.

"How is Beth doing? Jack seems to be in love with her as much as you are," choosing to ignore his remark, you shook an invisible knife penetrating your very soul, driven by a masochistic urge to wound it even deeper.

"I was planning on dropping by her place after the dinner. We haven't seen..." before he could finish, he was cut off by your shrill voice. You just couldn't take it.

"Stop it. I can't take it anymore, Hotch. I'll die if you finish that sentence," you haven't realized that teardrops started painting your face again.

"Darling, please. Don't do this," came in the form of a hoarse croak.

"No, Aaron, you broke my heart, you broke my entire life. You are the one who practically raised me long before Rossi came along. I built my life around you. Look at me, Aaron," you sobbed while turning to face him.

"I'm a pale shadow of a woman that I once was. Look at my face, look at these lines between my brows. Look at this hair falling out. Look how old my hands look, my skin almost see-through, frail."

He said nothing and just looked at you through his tears.

"You want to know the worst part of it all? You are so worth it, my love. You are so worth it. I would choose this life with you amongst all of the happier versions without you in it. I would go through all of this immeasurable pain over and over and over again just to see you smile that rare smile of yours that sends me into rapture. I would choose you even if you don't choose me. Always and for as long as I live," you poured your heart in front of him, watching him for what you knew would be the last time, trying to memorize every feature of his handsome face.

"I'm so sorry, I truly am," he finally wrapped his limp hands around your smaller form.

He couldn't help but notice how perfectly your body was snug against his, how warm you were, and how you smelled like oranges and vanilla.

"It is okay, baby. There is nothing to be sorry about; it's not your fault. You can't choose whom you fall in love with," you repeated Rossi's words in his white shirt, forever ruining it with whatever makeup was left on your face.

His grip around your shoulders tightened as if he was trying to push you into his ribcage in a desperate attempt to get even closer to you. Hotch's hot tears trickled down your neck and ended up being soaked into the fabric of your dress. You finally relaxed in his warm embrace, all of the intense feelings making you slump against him.

"I'm so sorry that I can't give you what you deserve," he whispered against your ear and proceeded to kiss your temple.

At that moment, something just snapped inside you, as if someone cut the electric wiring in the middle of a rave party. Darkness painted your insides and numbness finally settled in.

You pulled away from him and cupped his face in your small hands.

"Here's what we're gonna do, Hotch. You and I will wipe away these tears. Then we will go inside, and we will pretend that this never happened, just like you pretended that my feelings never existed for the past 10 years. We are going to play and sing and laugh with our friends. Then we will come into the office tomorrow, and JJ will brief us on our latest case, and life will go on," your voice was utterly devoid of any emotion as you lied to him in the most blatant and shameless way and wiped his face with the fabric of your sleeve.

The dullness of your eyes frightened Hotch more than anything he had ever seen in his life, but before he could respond, you started dragging him back inside with a fake smile plastered on your face.

"Let's go back inside, my love. Tomorrow is a new day."

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