#i'm just so tired of not being understood. tired of people not trying to understand. and tired of people trying to understand
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I was painting and the religious-fanatic teacher came to me and started asking questions about my work. I answered them and I was ready to go on with my day and she goes "we used to talk more when you were well..."
And I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at her like "wtf" because lady you are under 2 wrong assumptions here:
I would let YOU of all people be aware of my mental state or personal life or anything that concerns ME at all.
That we had some kind of amicable relationship to begin with? No, I don't know how you got the wrong impression since I just ever talked to you after I disagreed with your views, criticized you and almost fought with you because you said something both incredibly stupid and triggering... just because I've kept things civil doesn't mean I don't consider you anything other than a pretentious asshole.
The audacity of this woman, to think she can come to me and act all motherly and attentive while trying to get her nose in my personal life while bringing up a past bond which never fricking existed????? What like do you miss our disagreements???
And I just told her, "But... I'm good tho" which is not 100% true, but that's none of her business anyway
And she goes "yeah but you were even better"
BITCH????? No I wasn't? I'm not doing super now but I've vastly improved since last year so idk are you tripping or something???? And then she says something else about my work and keeps talking to me and I'm being civil and cordial because I'm not a rude asshole even if he doesn't even deserve this courtesy for the way she treats us.
Idk what's wrong with her, like she thinks I'm some kind of "problematic kidTM" for the way I look who needs salvation?? Which is not true, I don't need you as a mother. I already have a loving family and friends. Thank you and get the hell away from me????
And even if I were looking for someone's help for anything, I would NEVER in a hundred thousand years go to her for it. Not even for a broken nail lol.
She would probably tell me to go to church and confess or some shit. She already told me to call a confessor for my grandma because she had a little accident when she heard me talking about it with someone else... fkn hell.
#the art school adventures are back#she makes me irrationally angry#steel rambles#I hate it when people assume things about me#and when they try to get close when I've made it clear I don't want them to#because fucking hell I know how it plays out and these people ever have goog intentions even if they think they do#becaus eyou don't force someone to get close to you#it either happens ornit doesn't#also because these peopel try to get close to me WHILE assuming wrong things about me so I just can't have normal interactions#because they're just so fucking certain they understood how I function and even having a heart to heart conversation doesn't do shit#they just can't see me as anything else#and it makes me fucking angry too because I hate being misunderstood but I also can't let the people understand me#because then I'm too vulnerable to them and their manipulation#so idk I guess I prefer being perceived as a “problematic youth” instead of letting her any closer because fuck no she gives me the creeps.#or bad vibes#yeah creeps is too strong of a word#honestly I'm tired of fighting and always feeling on the edge#and it doesn't get easier#or better#but i hate it.
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im gonna be real anon I don't care about label shit ship discourse I care about if real people are getting hurt and ONE reblog from someone being jokingly aggressive on the subject isn't enough to convince me that people are getting hurt when there's more evidence to the contrary. you've put me in a shitty situation here and I don't want to engage with it. please just ask people what they actually think next time before you go throwing your assumptions at other people.
#i trust enough that most of my mutuals understand the nuance needed of media depiction of unsavory subjects.#if i'm wrong then I'm wrong. okay. thank you.#i hate the dichotomy i hate the lack of nuance in this discussion I want people to actually talk to each other#I want people to realize that you can respect people with different opinions than you if they aren't actually hurting anyone#I'm literally. someone who was alone with me a lot as a kid is in prison for CP/solicitation. I think if anyone can say that media-#depiction of fucked up shit that really happens is more nuanced than 'x is bad so it shouldnt exist'#you cant do that in real life. you cant make something not exist. just because something fictional contains it doesnt mean it condones it.#im so tired. im so tired. why wasnt this a dm. i dont really want to have this discussion publicly.#i can think things are gross but understand that there's nuance to depiction and just because I don't like it doesn't mean those people-#-don't deserve to have something that understands them.#not everyone is good at actually. being mature enough to handle that nuance. when they try. people can be wrong#and if people ARE weird I can just not engage with them. there's. I can decide for myself!#and now I'M stuck in my brain is insane and. as if! as if people always reblog things they 100% agree with!#im so tired. im so tired. im in pain and people are messaging me about a singular reblog from six months ago on someone else's blog.#i understand being cautious i really do but thats like insane behavior. why are you putting this on me. why didn't you just talk to me.#fucked up things happen and people deserve to be understood. okay. even if i don't like it. there is no right answer. there is no world-#where all pain can be avoided. saving private ryan made vet suicides skyrocket. did you know that#but it also understood those people. yknow. and there's more people living that it understood too.#there's just so much nuance that's thrown out when you cover everything you don't like with a blanket. okay#it's more complicated. it's more complicated. please.#in my mind it's far stranger to assume everyone is out there giggling and twiddling their fingers thinking about in/cest#than it is to just assume they don't until proven otherwise.#im so tired. just block me if you don't understand where I'm coming from. I don't care about ship disco/urse and i dont want to live-#constantly worried about what other people think about shit that has no right answer.#everyone is innocent until proven guilty and one reblog of a joking aggressive post isnt enough for me. sorry.#phlyaros' nonsense#euurgh.#welcome to the internet where we judge people based on one reblogged joke and nothing else even if it contradicts us#what a perfect encapsulation of what I don't like about dichotomy argument#tw suicide
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Will you kiss me?
Pairing: Pedro pascal x reader
Summary: You are a famous actress who Pedro has a crush on, and he finally gets to meet you once you get both invited to The Graham Norton Show
warnings: just fluff
a/n: I had to
"What a pair we have here tonight huh?"Graham spoke enthusiastically, making the audience explode in roaring cheers and applauses.
You just smiled as you tried looking at the crowd, getting overwhelmed by the blinding lights.
"Y/n Y/l/n and Pedro Pascal, just- wow"
Other applauses filled the studio.
"Ok so let's start with you y/n, you have a show coming out next week, two oscar nominated films already out, and one more coming out next month" he took a deep breath, feigning fatigue "You must be tired, I mean, How long has it been since you slept?" he joked, making you laugh.
"well I did work a lot this past year, but it was worth it, I'm happy I got to be part of so many wonderful projects and I'm really proud of all of them, I just can't wait for people to see them"
"well I'm sure we're all gonna love them"
"I hope so, I'm always nervous about it"
"Really?" The man beside you asked, surprise clear in his tone.
Pedro Pascal,
You had heard of him before, of the boom he seemed to have made lately, but had never met him until half an hour ago, when you briefly introduced yourselves to one another.
He looked nervous, awkward even, and you didn't know if it was because of the show he was about to get on, if he just was like that, or if there was something else bothering him.
"of course, when I go to premiers I'm always looking over at how people are reacting, if they're like bored or on their phones or actually interested, it's nervewracking, don't you?"
"well of course I do" he chuckled "but I'm no one compared to you"
He had a beautiful smile, you noticed, sweet, comforting.
"oh stop it" you smacked his shoulder playfully " you're a big deal, Pedro"
He just shook his head, still smiling softly, and Graham took the opportunity to intervene.
"of course you are, I mean, Game of Thrones, Narcos," he listed " and now the Mandalorian and The last of us, I mean you're really killing it"
The crowd cheered some more at the mention of those shows.
"thank you," he said shyly, looking like he almost wanted them to stop.
"so how does it feel?" he asked, "to be on such massive hits at the same time?"
"Well, it feels... scary" he laughed, joined by the audience
"you don't like being the center of attention?" Graham asked
"oh no I do" he corrected, making you laugh "It's just frightening at times,
but I'm having a good time y'know, it's also comforting seeing everyone I've worked with kind of be in the same position as me" he shrugged.
"People you've worked with?"
"yes, you know like Bella Ramsey, they're also- well they're young so of course, they're new to this- but, y'know, we're not used to all this attention and it feels good to have someone by your side who understands what's going on"
"of course" graham nodded "that's true, Bella is really young" he noticed "that's a thing both your shows have in common, young people," he said, "how did that feel? working with the new generation, I'm not saying you're old, but did you ever feel left out?"
"oh, all time" Pedro laughed
"yeah me too" you agreed "there were times when I was really lost but too ashamed to ask " you laughed in embarrassment
"absolutely," Pedro said, " they have a language of their own"
"right?!" you exclaimed, happy someone finally understood you.
"yes, like, there's one term that I learned recently that's really wonderful- somebody was saying - you swerve - "
You frowned
"do you know what swerving is?"
"nope"
"I was like oh- get somebody off your scent or something like that- I don't know - confuse somebody, and they were like: no, they come in for a kiss and you swerve" he demonstrated, pretending to be avoiding a kiss on the cheek.
"Isn't that great?"
you nodded, laughing, as an idea came to you
"We should try"
His eyes widened as he turned to you
"c'mon swerve me"
"no, I cannot swerve you!"
"c'mon it's for science"
"I can't, I can't swerve y/n Y/l/n, that's like - a crime"
"oh stop it, just do it, I wanna try it c'mon," you said, flattered
"ok fine, but just because I can't say no to you" he surrendered
"ok" you cleared your throat, preparing yourself "Oh wow, hi Pedro" you pretended to greet him, going in for a kiss.
He just smiled, as he did, eventually avoid your kiss,
his beard grazed your cheek, and the proximity to him, sparked something inside you, something quick, but likewise persistent.
As you leaned away, you noticed with amusement the flush on his cheeks and had to bite down a smile.
He fanned himself exaggeratedly "I'm blushing," he mumbled, making you chuckle, as you rested a hand on his arm, trying to soothe him.
" So how does swerving feel?" Graham asked
"it's... interesting" you glanced at him.
"It makes me feel rude" he looked at you too now, "I would never do it, it feels- it's mean"
"oh we know you wouldn't" you reassured him.
"I didn't like it" he shook his head
You smiled, tilting your head "would it make you feel better if we did it again without the swerving?"
You noticed how he seemed to have a momentary shutdown.
"yes," he said bluntly
"oh my god yes"
You laughed softly, as his mouth gaped open.
"Will you kiss me?" he almost begged, which was funny considering you had proposed it.
"Alright then, come here" you gestured, and he leaned closer, letting you press a quick kiss to his cheek.
"there" you smiled
"I think I just died"
"oh stop it, you're flattering me," you said, noticing a trace of red on his face "whoops, sorry I left a lipstick print" you went to clean it
"no no" he stopped you
"please leave it, I want proof this actually happened"
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal x female reader#pedro pascal x fem reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal interview#bella ramsey#the last of us#the last of us hbo#the last of us fanfiction#tlou hbo#tlou
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leaving on wild charted waters [pt.2]
(what if our mc just got tired of Night Raven College and it's inhabitants?)
(what if our mc meets a boy of red hair and blue eyes to show them the way around RSA?)
(also please read the small authors notes at the bottom if you make it that far T-T)
it's been a good short hours on the ship and this whole time you've been chatting up a storm with your new friend Rielle, and during this time you've both actually warmed up and learned a handful about each other!
you learned about each other's basic favorite things like colors, food, subjects, and even in music! Conversations seemed to flow smoothly like water between you two and you even learned how enchanting and magical his singing voice sounds, it almost had you entranced.
your new friend and you were now having a moment of silence while taking in the sounds of the water splashing against the ship until the boy spoke.
"if you don't mind me asking-- and I don't mean to pry! just that.." Rielle spoke while he nodded his head forward towards the direction of your cast holding your broken arm."is the reason why you're wounded related to your experience in Night Raven?... you don't have to answer if you don't want to I'm just genuinely curious." he gave you a comforting smile and his eyes were right on you, listening intently.
you gave a half-hearted and sheepish smile as you looked away and quickly started reminiscing about the events these past few months had in store for you in your head before you started to speak.
"well... in a way yes. I don't want to point any fingers--" you did want to point fingers, in fact you had many people to point fingers to. you sighed as you lightly shook your head in disappointment whilst facing the ship's floor "there were people who should've just done their job." your face started to form in a bit of a scowl "then maybe, just maybe... I wouldn't be in this state."
the young man formed an 'o' with his lips as he understood what you're trying to say.
"hmm..I see.. I'm very sorry _____, I promise that with my friends and I you'll never get a scratch on you while you're with us! and if it makes you feel any better, our staff too is always responsible and capable of finding a solution for any problem you're facing!" Rielle tried his best to sound optimistic and uplifting with the brightest smile on his face to get your frown turn upside down! and to also make you feel a little more confident in yourself as to give you more hope that your situation will turn around.
his very short speech made your head turn towards him and as he intended, you smiled warmly back with a new spark of optimism rising in your chest.
"thank you Rielle, that's... very kind of you." you spoke "I'm sure that while I'm with you, I'll at least have less than half of the injuries I have now."
he chuckled softly before responding to your comment "i'm sure you'll have few to none."
there was a moment where you two just looked at each other, both smiling and chuckling with the cold yet fresh sea breeze hitting both of your faces and the last few shines of the setting sun hitting both of your faces so perfectly. when you both calmed down you could feel this feeling of optimism rise up in your system even further.
this guy, his school-- you had a really good feeling about this change.
as well as a terrible feeling but about NRC.
but you didn't want to think much of it, not right now at least.
on Rielle's side he genuinely feels and understands your predicament, having to adapt into a strange new world that works differently than your own home does... he gets the feeling of being a total fish out of water. so because of this he feels he has this kind of connection with you because of this small detail you both have in common.
but in a really random way you also couldn't help but notice how ethereal the shade of blue was in his eyes.
you were about to ask a question but were rudely interrupted when the sailors of the ship were yelling from up above and hanging on the ropes beside the sails, announcing that the ship is now slowly arriving towards the school.
the news made you automatically want to stand up and get a good look of the school. to then have your eyes finally meet the shape of a large white castle as the focal point with the peaks of each of it's towers glistening while still being overshadowed by the shining and setting sun behind. the scene was breathlessly magical with the special touch of this entire moment being the mixed splashes of orange, deep purple, and yellow of the sky blending in with the glistening waters of the calm ocean.
Rielle slowly stood up beside you while facing the school as well "amazing isn't it? seeing the academy shining against the sunset is one of my favorite things to see here." he said before he took in a big inhale of the ocean air to then exhale, taking in the scene and all it's beauty.
"you're damn right it's amazing." you chuckled at your comment before Rielle quickly joined in too in a shared chuckling fit. For the rest of your time on the ship you two decided to just calmly enjoy the view until the ship reached ashore.
Let's speed up to now reaching and stopping on the shore.
A gangplank was set down for you and any other residents to hop off the ship. Rielle and you slowly yet excitedly walked off at the exit to finally walk down to RSA-- that was until Rielle stopped you before you could step a foot on the large plank.
"Here, let me help you out my friend." Rielle then offered a helping hand by extending his elbow out, asking you to link your uninjured arm around his as a way to help and avoid slipping but also because he's just a gentleman at heart.
you gave him a smile and a small 'thank you' as you accepted his offer while linking both of your arms together with him(or only hold onto his arm with your hand, whichever you feel comfy with)and carefully walked off the ship with him at your side. when you two find yourselves on the shore at the edge of the sea you could feel a bit of nervousness now in your system since to you it seems like you're in a whole new world. Rielle noticed this and in another attempt to cheer you up he gently tugged at your arm that you linked with him to have you look at him, to give you a reassuring smile.
"You'll be just fine _____, I'll show you where you need to go if you'd like. just know I'll be right here with you."
His words started to sink in as you gave him a hesitant nod but a strong statement,
"Let's do this."
Meanwhile... at Night Raven College..
well... I'll save all the NRC chaos in the next post, it deserves it's own chapter ;)
(will include descriptive yet somewhat short reactions of only house leaders unless there is demand for other characters)
(also if you're confused why I had a ship travel you to RSA instead of just going through the forest and through the town I completely forgot that the isle of sages housed both NRC and RSA 💀💀but im already this far in so pretend it makes sense please T-T)
#twst x reader#female reader#not proofread#twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst#twst angst#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst x reader#twst rsa#royal sword academy#twst rielle#prince rielle#twsited wonderland#twst wonderland#twistedwonderland angst#twisted wonderland angst#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland imagines#twst headcanons#twst hcs#leavingonwildchartedwatersjazjel#leavingonwildchartedwaters
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Wednesday x Reader
Father's Feathers
Requested.
Warnings: child abuse, threatening, scissors, blood.
Words: 1030~
Thanks to the original creator of this Avian Reader character: @toournextadventure
Some scars never leave... usually those burnt into our brains. That was exactly your case. All thanks to you amazing father.
And he made it his mission to remind you. "All those feathers are mine, you little monster! I can pluck them out whenever I want to!" That was his go-to phrase.
It made sense why you were so uncomfortable with your wings now. Having them was hard. Being reminded daily of the hurt you went through was hard. Having people want to touch your wings was harder. But, sometimes, nothing would compare to when Wednesday threatened to pluck out your feathers. Even as a joke, it made you uneasy.
She made one of those comments one day. One particularly hard day for you. You had had a nightmare that night in which your father punished you for "misbehaving". How? Ripping your feathers, of course. Occasionally, he'd clip some feathers with a pair of scissors. And what did you do? You were playing, as a normal 6-year-old does. You tripped, got a scraped knee, and cried. You didn't sob, as it wasn't that bad. But that still made your father annoyed.
The typewriter sounds continued, La Llorona playing as background music. You were sitting on Wednesday's bed, trying your best to rest without sleeping. You hadn't slept at all since around 04:00, courtesy of the bad dreams Wednesday wasn't starring.
—You're being odd.
That comment was so sudden you almost didn't catch it. You thought she was talking to herself rather than to you. You sent her a glance, too tired to function correctly.
—I'm just tired.
She looked at you, intensely. You were tired. That was evident, judging by the dark circles under your eyes. But it wasn't only that. There was more you weren't telling her.
She lowered the volume of the music after putting away her typewriter in the big drawer. You looked around as she did so, trying to prepare yourself for the interrogation you knew was coming. She sat in front of you, cross-legged on the bed. She looked at you, holding direct eye contact as she always does.
—What is upsetting you?
You pursed your lips. You didn't want to talk about this, but you knew it'd be better to finally let go of a bit of the weight you were carrying. So you went along with it, nodding.
—My wings.
Your lip trembled when you spoke, as did your voice. Wednesday was taken aback. To her, having such wings would be her pride for life.
—I don't understand. Your wings are impressive, grandiose even. I'd be proud to have such magnificent wings.
—I know you don't get it. They're just... a burden.
—Why would you think that? Did someone say something bad about them? Who? Is that why you don't let people near them?
Having you not be happy with yourself sure made her get annoyed, anxious even. Haywire chaos happened inside her brain every time she saw you unwell. Sometimes she showed that she cared for you so obviously, yet she acted disinterested when asked.
You knew it was coming to that, so you got yourself ready. —Wednesday, I am scared. Let me try something...— You had an idea. If Wednesday had visions, maybe she'd see what you went through without you having to talk about it. She looked at you, confused, but she nodded. So you took her hand in yours and watched as her head shot backward.
She saw it. Moments of your childhood. Terrible memories. Bad terrible. She never knew you had to go through things that horrible. Now she understood why you were so wary of everyone regarding your wings. What hurt the most may have been how you were crying while being tortured by your father, and you weren't enjoying it. It made her angry, too.
When she came back to her senses, she looked at you crying silently in front of her. Her first instinct was to hug you, arms around your neck. You knew it was safe, because it was Wednesday, but you still tensed, stiff as her at the beginning of your relationship.
—I'm here for you. I'll always be, even in death. You hear me?
You nodded, now sobbing. Even if you wanted to, they just didn't stop flowing. She held you close, trying to make you listen to her heartbeat. It had always calmed you, and she hoped that time wasn't different.
She then started playing with your hair, combing it to perfection with her fingers. Little by little, her hand lowered. It had been a while when you noticed she was gently caressing your wings. She traced the pattern of you feathers carefully, silently reassuring you. It made you cry more.
—You make me feel so loved—, you sobbed onto her. By then, her clothes were stained by the tears you wept. She let you do that. It made you feel even more cared for.
She was silent, mainly in disbelief. You had indirectly called her comforting. She liked it, but only because it was you.
—Shh. Let's lie down.
Her tone was as less awkward as possible, which you appreciated. She laid down on her back, making you be on top of her. Being taller than her, and also with the wings, it seemed as though you were covering her. Her arms still rested on the back of your neck, holding you safely in your place.
You rested in silence, the thought of being there with Wednesday sinking in. It made you emotional again. You were really going through it. She noticed and hugged you tighter. It made you more thankful to have her.
—I love you so much.
Wednesday was sure that time would help you heal your wounds, she hoped so. She nodded. It always made her feel.
—I know. I love you.
You smiled.
—Be proud of your wings. I am proud of you. Your feathers, not his. Yours.
It was odd hearing Wednesday so sappy, but it was something you could get more used to. You just hummed a "yes". You were sure you'd sleep well that night.
—Thank you, Wednesday.
—You're welcome...love.
#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday adams x reader#wednesday x reader#wednesday addams#wednesday adams#wednesday#wednesday addams imagine#wednesday imagine#wednesday imagines#x reader#jenna ortega x reader#fanfic
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we've known for a while that novel lloyd and webcomic lloyd are two different characters but this really shows the kind of character the adaptation team has turned lloyd into.
like. i cannot begin to emphasize how not true this is for novel!lloyd. at all. he's constantly lying about his feelings both to others and to himself, a big part of his emotional conflict with javier is about javier wanting lloyd to show him how he truly feels and lloyd lying straight to his face about it, being dishonest about his emotions and feelings is a core part of his character and him finally letting himself be open and honest is meant to be the payoff of his emotional arc.
the way he feels and the things he shows and says are not the same.
heck not even his feelings and his thoughts are the same!
It was truly a strange thing. He was giving away a tremendous gift without anything in return. Yet, his heart was light and filled with relief. And even though he said it was a wasted opportunity or whatever, truthfully speaking, he didn't feel that way.
Tsk. It's not because that hooligan Frontera made me weak, or because I feel guilty. I'm doing this because I'm tired of its whining. It is beyond annoying to hear Frontera whining, insisting, and begging for me to take responsibility and help out.
Lloyd thought this was an opportunity for him to get rid of one less burden of his. It was the cost of getting rid of this pesky burden. This was an investment. So, he concluded that he wasn't being a fool. He was doing this for Arcos and Marbella Frontera. Lloyd reiterated these thoughts in his head and pulled himself together.
like. he will lie to himself about his reasons for doing kind things and justify them as actually selfish and self-interested when we know that's not true.
he betrays his feelings with his actions, him being a good person and being unable to hide it or change it despite his best efforts is also an integral part of his characterization but it's not something he willingly shows or something he's even willing to admit to himself much less to other people.
which. is exactly the opposite of what this scene was about? i think? like. the conflict here was,, someone trying to prove that lloyd's actions aren't actually selfless and that he has a hidden agenda and lloyd proving that notion wrong by rejecting. but,, that's exactly the opposite of what lloyd wants to project about himself?
like. this is a man that when told directly to his face that he's a good person who when left to his own devices will help others for no gain to himself by a higher being whose literal job is to judge souls' goodness he will just go "nuh uh" and insist everything he does is for his personal gain and not the greater good or anything like that.
he would not be emotionally honest enough to have this kind of realization and much less to share it with some fucking guy trying to kill him.
i just. i want to know so bad what the adaptation team wanted to prove with this interaction. like. what was the purpose of it. what did they want to tell us about lloyd by having him say this.
personally i find it so diametrically opposed to lloyd's characterization in the novel that i just. i don't understand how they could've come up with this scene if they understood his character in the novel like. at all.
but. is that anything new lmao
#i talk a lot <3#tged#the greatest estate developer#ep 137#ch 243#ch 366#ch 367#lloyd frontera#i just. i don't get it. i really fucking don't akjshdjkds
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Honestly I wouldn’t mind if ya did a story that was just breeding kink baby fever pregnancy centered focused 🙈 No thoughts head empty just 🌽
But I do have to ask out of your ocs who’d actually make a great father vs shitty father vs meh father? And what are some of ya ocs parental habits for raising the babies?
Hi!! Honestly I wish I was sooooo much better at smut cause that's all I would write. I'm trying to get back into writing smut but I'm really not very good at it, but I'm practising! Also i promised a fic tonight but I'm tired and my writing is shit so I'll have a red hot crack go tomorrow after work.
Ok so I'll just do out of my yandere ocs, cause they are the ones everyone is more familiar with. TW: talks about domestic abuse
Great Father goes to the Farmer for sure. Look he's got traditional (aka outdated views) but that doesn't mean he would ever disown his children. He had a really horrible childhood and he always promised himself he would do a better job as a parent then his own ever did. He is very hands on, giving his children life skills and most importantly the belief that they can overcome what life throws at them. The farmer knows how hard life is, so he tries to instil good work ethic and most of all a be good to others way of thinking. Being a helping hand is important to him.
He may not like people that much, but being someone others can rely on made him feel as though he is wanted and worthwhile when he was always told by his parent's he was not. He would unfortunately believe in boy's things and girl's things. But that doesn't mean if a son of his wants to help mama sew or a girl of his wants to help him fix the truck he's going to go crazy. No, of course not, he believes that ALL life skills, whether others believe them to be men or women jobs, need to be taught to children. So he doesn't care about division of labour based on gender.
What makes him a bit weary is if his son wants to wear florals or pinks, or if his daughter ONLY wears masculine clothes, especially if they go into town. He's just not comfortable about it. However, over time I think he just wouldn't care anymore and would only fuss if they are wearing improper clothes to work on the farm with. Likewise he wouldn't disown his children if they came out as queer, he would most likely make really cringy jokes and ask embarrassing questions and then say something like "Oh, so I can't ask my child a genuine question? Is that not politically correct now?", but like sir, please the question was embarrassing.
But yeah, once he kinda understood it he would come to terms with it and actually would be funny. Like if someone in town asks him if he's proud of his kid for coming out hell say (absolutely seriously) "why the fuck should I be proud of them coming out of the house, why do kids these days need praise for every little thing they do!". like he wouldn't understand what the phase coming out even means. Anyway on to the next!
Meh Father goes to the Mad King. The man is all bark no bite. He pretty much only wants children as heirs and also to have levrage over the reader. He's not horrible by any means, he spoils his children when they deserve it, but he also makes them understand that nothing good in life is freely given and you have to take it. But unfortunately he also causes rivalries between his children. They are desperate for any attention/praise from him that they will try to out compete one another to gain it. Often resulting in arguments and injuries.
Reader (whether they wanted children or not) has to act overly motherly and affectionate to their children to counteract his actions. There is no favouritism or stern reminders of their places as heirs, just warm, welcoming love. Also his children aren't idiots, they can all tell that their parent's did not marry for love. At least on their mother's side.
They are torn between desperately wanting their father, the king, to show them true love not just cold approval and hating him for the emotional abuse he has put their mother through. It's actually kinda sad, because he was always desperate for the attention and love of his father and now he's caused the same thing between his own children.
There is moments of affection and love but the more he see's himself or god forbid his brother in his children, he begins to be very cold and distant. The man kinda forgot that a kid is 50/50 not just 100% their mother's. That's why his youngest is his favourite, although he would never tell anyone ever. His youngest is pretty much reader cloned, looks, personality, and everything. When he looks at them he is harshly reminded what he took away from reader the day he became king.
Bad Father goes to the Killer. This man would have absolutely no fucking clue what the fuck to do. And he would not care to try. Reader (who is usually gn but for the sake of this is afab) is heartbroken when they realise they are pregnant, and Killer has no idea why they won't stop crying. And why do they keep being sick all the time. A primal part of him likes the idea of caring and providing for his darling and their children, in fact he loves it.
When he figured out reader was pregnant, he started stocking up in furs, wood, meat and cloth. He made a crib from what he remembered his little brother's to be (omg lore drop). He likes to provide, but damn does he actually hate having a child. He leaves ALL baby stuff to reader, he pretty much refuses to look after or even pick up the baby. He gives reader all the resources they need and the Killer calls it a good job done. The poor kid(s) grow up very isolated and confused. Their mama loves them with everything they have but their pa won't even acknowledge them.
Resentment grows as they do. They of course don't really understand why they are here and why their mother/parent is with killer, because it's all they have ever known. They've known nothing other than this. I can see this going either two ways. One day the oldest snaps, they are sick and tired of listening to the screams of the their father's victims. Their mother/parent tries so hard to keep them from barging out of their small shack.
The eldest faces their father, who has grown grey over the years. However, he is still a scary and strong man, and the eldest falters slightly, it's enough for the Killer to smack their eldest to the ground telling them to go back inside. Reader sees this and just loses it. They have spent a good chunk of their life under Killer's thumb. They have seen so much death and violence they have become almost immune. But to see their child being struck by the man who killed all her friends all those years ago just causes absolute rage.
Reader picks up the old shotgun that they found hidden in the attic, they were always too scared to use it, especially when the kid(s) came. But now its time. Killer doesn't stand a chance.
OR the other way is that once the kid(s) reach maturity they follow in their father's footsteps unfortunately for reader and finally get their father's approval. I like the first idea better.
Hope you liked it! I should have my home invader story out tomorrow!
#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere drabble#yandere prompts#oc#male yandere#farmer yandere#yandere oc#oc farmer#dv
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Can i ask for some headcanons from Charlie (hazbin hotel) comforting a neurodivergent reader, with she thinking she is selfish because of the emotional outbursts of ADHD and impulsivity but people don't realize how much she sacrifices so that others see her as productive, kind and a good human, masking a lot of disorganized behavior just so the college can accept it better? Sorry if it seemed too personal, i'm just tired of neurotypicals
HEADCANONS OF CHARLIE COMFORTING A NEURODIVERGENT READER .
; pairing ; charlie x neurodivergent reader (platonic)
; note ; these headcanons felt really nice to come up with. i can totally see where you're coming from and i am here for you.
; warnings ; none
charlie is incredibly empathetic and recognizes the struggles that come with neurodivergence.
she assures you that your feelings and experiences are valid, offering a safe space for you to express yourself.
charlie understands the societal pressures to conform and mask one's true self, especially in an academic setting.
she validates your efforts in trying to fit into societal norms and assures you that your true worth goes beyond appearances.
charlie fosters open communication, making it clear that you can always talk to her about your struggles without judgment.
she encourages you to express your feelings, thoughts, and challenges, creating a dialogue to help you feel heard and understood.
charlie recognizes and celebrates your achievements, no matter how small, emphasizing that every step forward is a victory.
she helps shift the focus from perceived shortcomings to the progress you've made.
charlie may share some of her own coping strategies or suggest activities that could help you manage.
whether it's through music, art, or other creative outlets, she encourages you to find what works best for you.
charlie emphasizes the importance of self-care and taking breaks when needed, reminding you that your well-being is a priority.
she may even organize activities or events that cater to your preferences and comfort.
#CHARLIE MORNINGSTAR#charlie morningstar#hazbin charlie#hazbin hotel charlie#charlotte morningstar#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel#platonic#charlie morningstar x reader#y/n#reader insert#x reader#ask
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Davesport is Toxic NOT abusive
(((WARNING: PRETTY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT.))) I've seen some people making the claims that Davesport is comship/proship (ok well i've more seen people bitching about it) and im tired of the Davesport slander so this will be an analysis of their relationship.
My motive isn't to force anyone to ship it or anything- i really dont care what you do with your life, my frustration is just when people try to make up REASONS why they don't like the ship, even though its literally canon (and not badly written).
My main point is -- You can hate what you want. You don't need a reason, and it doesn't need to be bad just because you don't like it. But I will not take any slander on their ship nor any slander of people who like davesport.
Davesport is absolutely toxic-- No DSAF fan would disagree. They are literally child murderers with little to no souls and literally are physically disfigured to the point they don't have the capacity to feel proper humanity anymore. You cant expect 2 men who live their lives willingly murdering and then partying in vegas to celebrate on repeat to be gentle and kind to themselves or anyone else.
However, its NOT abusive.
I've seen multiple people (mostly from twitter screenshots) claim that Davesport is abusive or the way people portray it is in a fetishy or romanticizing way of abuse, when that's just not the case. I don't blame a lot of people, since a lot of it comes from reading context and intent of the artist, which not everyone is good at-- BUT I'm here to assure you that MOST people don't intend to do that much and just like to portray how their dynamic is canonically like or portray Daves obsession with Jack.
Another argument I've seen (by a twitter screenshot...) is that people are comshipping Davesport because people draw Jack annoyed a lot at Dave when...thats not true? That's just Jack's personality, first off:
(From the Dave x Reader fanfic by Directdoggo)
"Jack is a bastardman not very touchy-feely. We can see this in many scenes, where Dave more or less says “I love you” and Jack responds with deflecting humour, or outright scorn. When Dave says it for the final time, this time, Jack tries to say it back, but can’t outright, only getting out: “Why is this so hard?” and “I hope you can find peace with what you’ve done.” Which Dave understood the meaning of. (Hey, better than Henry (LEGACY Jack) hearing “I love you” and proceeding to tear Dave limb from limb, huh?"
(Directdoggo describing Jack's personality)
I know it can be a little confusing to some people, but as someone who struggles with similar issues, just because he struggles to express intimately doesn't mean he can't love anything. Sometimes people are just different and communicating like that doesn't come as easily, even to the people you're closest to.
To make it as easy as possible to comprehend-- He's quite literally a tsundere. (Minus the exaggerated ridiculousness in anime) He loves Dave, he just cant bring himself to say or act like it. The dismissiveness or rudeness in response to Dave's affection is not abuse, it's just a defensive response since he doesn't know how to say it back. (His way of being "shy") -- Also note its important that Dave UNDERSTANDS this about him by that point.
However Jack isn't the only thing I've seen regarding the claims that their ship is abusive-- and to debunk all of those I'm going to explain the three points that keep Davesport from being abusive, and I'll use Henry x Dave (which is what I'll call it to prevent it getting confused for FNAF willry) as an example alongside it since its super obvious why that one is messed up.
Firstly, They are both bad people.
By this point, Dave and Jack are murderers. It's just not surprising that they will be willing to kill each other at at least some point, considering they are willing to kill 5 year olds without remorse- and they'll both deserve it. It's only their own faults that they teamed up with the other, and it's meant to be the ultimate irony when Jack becomes even worse than Dave by "An ending".
My point is- they're bad people. It's not like they're owed perfect company or would choose wholesome people to hang out with when they're literally both child murderers.
Dave wasn't evil and didn't want to kill by the time he teamed up with Henry (and even after it was Henry's fault), so by that point his suffering was absolutely undeserved.
Secondly, They're lacking any specific power dynamic.
Unlike Henry and Dave- whom have several levels of "Age, Father figure, and Employer", the most important one is that Henry is Dave's abuser. He manipulated him and purposefully harmed him both mentally and physically, whereas Dave never had any intention of doing either because Dave loved him and didn't want to lose him (because he had nobody else)
This obviously much different with Dave and Jack, whom other than being taller and several years older than (which you can argue their 6 year age gap is weird but they didnt get to know each other till they were both older than 30 so by that point age difference doesnt rlly matter and (also theyre "mentally" like 24 and 22 canonically anyways (as much as I usually hate that argument)) Other then that they are only co-workers. This is a bit more arguable during DSAF 1, where Dave comes across more threatening and comes across like he's manipulating Jack, but I don't exactly count that because I wouldn't say theyre "shippable" or in their "situationship*" by that point (but also because them even being a ship was barely considered by the creator at that point obviously)-- whereas Dave is certainly more easily recognized as sincere to Jack in DSAF 2. Jack also is not someone who is afraid to defend himself against Dave, as shown by the fact he's willing to call out Dave's ridiculous behaviors (which is reasonable of him to do).
(Also from the Dave x reader fanfic) (I just think this specific screenshot debunks any sort of "power dynamic" claim)
My Third and Final point: There is a CHOICE involved
I haven't really done much Dave defense in this post, but his defense is very simple:
He is literally physically unable to comprehend guilt or conscience. Dave didn't want to murder anyone in the first place, but it was Henry who fucked with his (literal) head so much to the point he stopped being able to feel guilt. He doesn't care about murder and doing wrong because he CAN'T care. You can't really let that reflect Dave as a character when he's really not in control of himself in the first place.
Now with that, that doesn't change the fact he could certainly affect and hurt people, and it's fully up to Jack as to whether or not he wants to deal with this purple man's freakish life choices and hobbies or not.
And that's honestly super dependent on the ending you decide to base Jack on. Most people see the 'canon' endings to be:
Gnarly ending (DSAF 1) -> An ending (DSAF 2) -> Good ending (DSAF 3)
Where in all of these, Jack DOES choose to deal with Dave and basically is completely cool with murder. You don't have to follow those endings if you don't want to, but that's just typically what the modern "Davesport" is known for, but its what I'm using for my defense (considering this is a defense of both fandom and canon Davesport.)
Though as opposed with Henry and Dave- Dave had no choice. Henry only ever manipulated him into thinking he did, and Henry made sure to feed this whole 'we will be a family' ideal into Dave (who never had one) so that Dave would be terrified to lose him. Jack never manipulates Dave (when teamed up with him), and Dave never manipulates Jack (tho arguable in DSAF 1 as well). They stay with each other despite all of their issues, and I believe its due to some co-dependency (imo I think Jack is also obsessed with Dave just in a different way before DSAF 3)
Which isn't healthy, but not...inherently abusive.
I believe my main three points kind of cover the most of why I dont consider Davesport to be inherently a bad ship, but like I said- if you don't like it, none of that matters anyways. You dont NEED a reason to like something, and I wont try to convince you why you should ship something because I like it.
Just don't hate it just because of what someone else says-- 90% of the dsaf fandom aren't comshippers, and Davesport isn't gross or "toxic /neg" just because it's not healthy. I think "Don't fetishize/romanticize literal abuse like its normal or sexy" and "We should explore more complicated and unhealthy dynamics" can and SHOULD coincide with each other!!!!
I think Davesport is great because of how bittersweet it is that these two people finally found solace and acceptance in each other but couldn't get past the self-sabotaging nature of what Henry turned them both into, ultimately making it impossible to work out forever. I think embracing the Davesport makes the (kind of aged) trilogy a lot more enjoyable of an experience and I DO encourage any davesport skeptics to keep an open mind.
[Pretend I wrapped this up super nicely I can never do that--- Also this is open for conversation and/or debate, and also yada yada my bad if i said something randomly terrible I have extremely poor social skills lol let me know so I dont do it again yada yada]
*Also if anyone doesnt know a situationship is (at least in the context im using it in ive heard other definitions for it but its not a real word so i actually dont care) when 2(or more) people basically treat eachother like lovers but they never communicate this outright and dont technically officially date but like they treat and commit to eachother like a partner would)
(So its kind of what all those people who playfully flirt and call each other their spouses as a commited running joke are in)
#this might have gotten a little messy by the second half but i've spent so long on this the words have lost their meaning#could you believe this is my second draft#ill make a tldr...#dsaf#dayshift at freddy's#dave miller#jack kennedy#dayshift at freddy's 2#dsaf dave#dsaf dave miller#dsaf jack#old sport#dsaf old sport#dsaf william afton#dayshift at freddy's jack#dayshift at freddy's 3#dayshift at freddys
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Little play date 🍼
━━^━━━••━━━^━━
You'll always bring your little toddler to the survey corps head quarters, only when nobody is around. Everyone is aware that you and levi have a child but never intervene because of Levi's attitude and him being more protective than he ever was.
You sit down on the floor with your little boy, he is playing with some Lego and blocks you keep in a drawer. His little face lit up with excitement since some soldiers walked in, the soldiers have never met your little one before and they looked at the small human with curiosity and awe.
"guys.. you're welcome to come and say hello...it's just me here."
You spoke softly, inviting them to say hello to your son, They couldn't help themselves and came straight over.
"aw, look at the little one! He's such a cutie..!"
One of the soldiers held the small little human in his arms, the others trying to play with him.
"aw, gosh he does look a lot like the captain...but this one's all chubby and cute~"
The soldiers love how your son is so interactive with them, he definitely has Levi's eyes, but with little chubby cheeks and fluffy black hair. And all of a sudden...
"daddy!"
Your little one spoke and raised his hands up, looking at someone else...Levi. Levi clearly wasn't happy with other people spending time playing with his son and talking to his partner. Everyone went silent. The young boy ran up to his dad, getting lifted up into Levi's arms. Levi is clearly, very protective of his family.
"Levi, it's okay you know... nobody is going to hurt us."
You spoke softly, trying to calm Levi down. Levi walked over to you with his son in his arms. Sitting down and staring at everyone. You give up, knowing Levi would probably give you and everyone a talking to. He didn't trust anyone with his toddler.
"I'm here now, I don't want you playing with him without me watching...just don't do anything stupid.."
Levi groaned, putting the little one down and keeping good eyes on him, Everyone is surprised that Levi has allowed them to continue playing with his son. They are happy though, the little cute human is running around and playing with the other soldiers. Levi had dead eyes on his son, barely sitting down because he was so worried.
"Levi please... everything is going to be okay..you can relax.."
He sat down properly after hearing you speak.
"I just...I can't handle the idea of something happening.."
Levi admitted and held your arm tightly.
"yes but Levi... the worst thing that can happen is if he falls over...but kids need to learn and understand this you know.."
Your voice calmed him, Levi understood your point but still was extremely protective.
After a while your child came back to you, he was quite tired after playing now, crawling up to your lap and resting in it. Your hand gently stroked through his hair...Levi couldn't help but be jealous, you noticed Levi wanting attention.
You sighed..
"you're both such little babies.."
You took Levi into your arms as well, all cuddled together.
#levi ackerman#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#levi ackerman x reader#headcanons#levi ackerman x female reader#captain levi#levi#levi aot
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Responding to your line that you put in the water for izzyxreader asks —
Maybe reader is super tough all the time, and so they and Izzy bond over repressing feelings and everything, and then Izzy goes through his transformation and healing era and the reader feels abandoned because everyone on this crew is touchy-feely and now they’re all alone in putting mind over emotion
But then they find out some really bad news (maybe they lost a loved one or something) and fall apart at the seams, and Izzy is there to pick up the pieces
Idk
[AN: I try to leave it vague as to what the bad news actually is, so I'll leave it to your imagination! This is my first time writing X Reader fic, so I hope it's any good! Also, I am posting this on mobile, so I apologize for any formatting errors]
FALLING APART [IZZY HANDS X GENDER NEUTRAL READER]
Izzy Hands is the only one on the ship who understands you. Or so you thought.
These days, it doesn't seem like anyone understands you at all. Izzy included.
It used to be you and Izzy against the world. The two of you understood what it means to be pirates: It means bottling up the fear and the sadness and the… all of it. It means facing the world with a brave face despite how you might feel inside.
You both understood that. Once.
Izzy seems to have forgotten. He wears his emotions on his face now. He talks about them. He wears the title of Unicorn with pride. Things that Izzy wouldn't have been caught dead doing once upon a time.
It seems so easy for him now. He sits with the crew, smiles with them, congratulates them on a job well done. He belongs with them.
And all you can do is watch.
You're almost envious of his ability to change, to grow. It was less lonely being an outsider when Izzy was on the outside with you. Now, you just have to look in and watch as he builds this fantasy family. You wonder how much it will hurt him when it comes tumbling down.
"You could join us, you know," Izzy tells you one night as the crew huddles together by the light and you stand on your own. "No point in you drinking all alone."
You scoff and wave him off. "I don't do well with people." It's an old excuse, one you've used for years.
Just as he always has, Izzy sees through it. "You don't need to push them away. They're... not what we thought they were."
You narrow your eyes at him. "Just because you've gone soft doesn't mean we all will."
Izzy looks at you with something like sadness in his eyes. "The invitation's open."
But it wasn't an invitation you could accept.
Not until later, when a letter comes for you.
As you read it, your hands begin to shake. Your vision gets blurry as your eyes fill with tears. Before you know it, your entire body is trembling.
"Fuck," you whisper. "Fuck!" You shout it at the sea, crumpling the letter in your fist and hurling it at the ocean.
You can never catch a break, can you? The world loves punishing you no matter what you do. People like you don't get a happy ending.
That's something you've always known. You're a pirate and pirates' lives are full of bloodshed and misery and death. A happy ending has never been in the cards for you. Hell, you never even expected a happy middle.
You've never seen the point in crying over the shitty hand you've been dealt. Expressing emotions changes nothing, fixes nothing. So what's the point?
But in this moment, you can't hold it all in. You fall to your knees as tears hit your cheeks. You sob so hard you can hardly breathe. The world around you becomes a blur as you begin to cry.
Strong hands come to wrap around you. Your first instinct is to fight, to shove away whoever is offering you comfort. But you're just too tired and weak to bother.
"I've got ya. I've got you, love." Izzy's soothing voice washes over you as he pulls you into his lap. "I'm here."
Not long ago, the idea of Izzy Hands gently holding you as you fall apart would have been laughable. But here you sit, curled up against his chest as he rubs circles into your back.
You hiccup, trying desperately to regain some control over your breathing. "H-Hurts," you whimper through the tears. "Fuck, it hurts."
"I know," Izzy says softly. "I know, love. I know it hurts. Just let it all out, yeah?"
He presses a kiss to your temple and you squeeze your eyes shut. Sob after sob wrecks through you and you're powerless to stop it.
There's a reason you keep your emotions to yourself. Crying is painful and it's weakness and it fucking sucks. Why would you choose it if you could lock it all away instead?
But somehow crying in Izzy's arms doesn't feel quite as bad as you feared. It still fucking hurts, but he holds you through it, whispering gentle assurances all the while.
And when you've finally cried yourself out, a part of you feels… lighter. Like a great burden has been lifted from your shoulders and all it took was falling apart.
"Shit. I'm sorry," you mutter as you wipe your eyes on the back of your sleeve.
"Nothing to apologize for," Izzy says. "How are you feelin'?"
You hesitate before answering. "Better," you admit somewhat grumpily.
He smiles like he knows how much it pains you to admit that crying helped. "It's easier to fall apart when someone will help pick up the pieces." He reaches up to cup your cheek, brushing away a few stray tears with his thumb.
You swallow and if you had any tears left to shed, you're certain you'd start crying all over again.
Instead, you just wrap your arms around Izzy and hold him close, burying your face in his neck.
"Thank you," you whisper.
He holds you close like it's easy to do it. Like being there for you isn't the burden you know it must be. "Always, love."
And you believe him.
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Can i have eula,kujou sara and navia reacting to their s/o who endured a lot and manages to rise from the ashes time and time again?
-> destruction, a vicious cycle
synopsis -> no matter what, you can never catch a break. being brought down, rebuilding yourself, and being brought down all over again is your cycle of life.
a/n -> my first official request yayyy!! ah i was so happy when i saw this in my inbox because i'm only creative when it comes to drawing i seriously cannot think of anymore prompts..... anyways everybody feel free to send some in fhajdkdkks they'll likely get done by same/next day!! sorry if this was misinterpreted i cannot focus on anything rn and it's been like this for the past few days
warnings -> mentions of injury, reader showing evident signs of wanting to give up, crying, mostly angst
w/c -> 1.3k
eula
she gets that feeling. more or less better than anyone else you know would. considering her horrific past, she would wake up and go into the day blindly, not knowing what there is to come for the next string of long hours. she’s been rejected by monstadts people, by her own family.
so when you express your feelings to her, she gets it. but she’ll still do her best to comfort you anyways.
so, she started paying more attention to the things you do and the interactions you have with people.
the first time she witnessed something was when you had tried oh so hard to gain the trust of the acting grand master, jean, just for it to all crumble down due to a silly rumor that an immature guard decided to spread around the favonius headquarters. it had caused a lot of backlash on your part from the cities residents and from all of the knights and the vision holders that are affiliated with them.
and then, once you regained her trust and worked day and night to get the residents on a good t with you, your family decided to shame you for no reason whatsoever, and bringing another issue you worked to fix for yourself into your life.
it felt rather draining, being unable to catch a break. one thing after another, one day at a time. life felt like a cycle to you at this point.
whether you had a brutal injury in combat and had to work endlessly (or at least to what felt like it) to prove your strength to yourself and the world once more or simply had to regain trust, you were genuinely tired.
so, eula tries to take the burden. at first, she tries to take in entirely, but you both knew that wouldn’t be possible. she wasn’t the one injured, or the one who was mere seconds from being roughly escorted out of the city. she couldn’t necessarily shoulder that without being the one in the position.
but what she could do was allow you to cry and express your emotions to her when you’re in the safety of your own home. you both knew that she wouldn’t turn on you for your life cycle. she was the only person you felt you could genuinely trust at the time and you felt really grateful to have someone as wonderful as her.
she’s been making it much easier for you to live now, and she’ll proceed to do so throughout the rest of the time the world gives you two.
kujou sara
you understood she didn’t have much time to listen and understand what your life is like, and all of the traumatic and upsetting stories that go with your name. she’s constantly out, fulfilling her loyalty to the esteemed shogun and leading over the tenryou commission, and she doesn’t come back until late most nights, if she even does come back. you completely understand what she does and why it’s so important, and she always tries so hard to make you feel loved and that she has time for you.
but you haven’t had that chat about yourself with her yet. and you don’t know when you will.
she first picks up on something being not right when you came home, trying so so hard to fight back tears and nearly failing. you excused yourself to the shower, allowing the tears to spill due to the water muting your cries.
but she knew. she knew something was up, and she wanted to ask you about it, but at this very moment was one of the first times she thought she couldn’t make up the words to confront you. so when she does, it sounds more like a demand then a question. you both knew that it wasn’t supposed to sound that way.
once you told her, she nodded, getting up and making you some tea to try and soothe you. she didn’t try to pressure you into relaxation, or to tell you to be calm. because telling you that would be unfair. she’s not that way, so why should she force you to be?
like eula, she’ll keep a close eye on you sometimes. the first time she witnessed what she had at first thought was your downfall, she tried to keep herself composed as you struggled to get the blade out of your stomach.
it was one hell of a journey to get you back on your feet. not only was this weighing down on you, the thought of disappointing sara or being a burden to her (considering her 5 hour stays at the hospital nearly every single day) haunted you. corrupted your sleep, and corrupted your mind whenever she was helping you through your physical therapy work.
once you were back on your feet, it seemed like another thing after another happened. you were asked so much out of the citizens of inazuma city, and even yelled at, until you snapped at one of them and it was the headline in the papers. even guuji yae looked into it. then again, you worked to build yourself up again.
no matter how vicious the cycle, you knew you always had sara there to support you.
navia
she wasn’t stupid, she knew something was upsetting you, but didn’t want to ask. since the loss of her father she’s learned certain ways to cope, and she just thought you were using your ways to cope, too.
but she realized it was much more than that.
you two had heard rumors of someone going around and pickpocketing people, taking mora. so, considering she wanted to try and solve such a mystery, she asked you if you’d like to accompany her, and you agreed.
the person who did it was a fontaine citizen who had been doing this for years to survive. the woman lived on the streets, occasionally stealing food from food stands when they came out, or threatening cafe owners into giving her what she wanted.
considering the fact that she could be considered mental, she framed you. and you were the one who had to face the repercussions.
thats when navia really started to realize that this wasn’t the first time something this horrible has happened to you, considering your reaction to the whole situation and how you brushed it off whenever she’d bring it up. you had a 4 month sentence in the fortress, and though it used to be something like 4 years, navia made a deal with wriothesley into shortening it due to false accusation.
but once you got out of the prison, it seemed you couldn’t catch a break from tragedies. from things you didn’t even know you were doing to things people made up lies about, you felt that you constantly had to prove yourself to the people of the city, to prove that you weren’t a horrible person whose only interest is stealing peoples things and hurting others.
navia would let you talk for as long as you possibly needed, listening extra hard when you mention some more disturbing topics that you barely got back up from, but managed to anyways. she understood the comparison when you mentioned how it feels like a never ending cycle of devastating events, and how you were tired of always being forced to be the bad guy in situations you didn’t even know were happening half of the time.
she’ll settle your cries with a nice warm hug (if it gets to the point of crying) and makes sure she can help you in any way you need when another one of these incidents happen. she knows she’ll never be able to make it all go away, but she tries to at least make it less of a weight to carry around when you two are together.
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#eula#kujou#sara#kujou sara#navia#navia x reader#kujou x reader#kujou sara x reader#sara x reader#eula x reader
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Honestly it’s getting tiring seeing the sobbing chronically of the cast ; Hera , Demeter, Persephone and probably more . Like it’s giving big baby cry cry energy instead of idk something proactive. Not sure if It’s just me getting that from the latest chapters???
I have two schools of thought on this.
On the one hand, I can fully understand wanting to show the vulnerability of these characters, to not send a message that emotions are bad and that people should just "toughen up". This is trying to be a "feminist" piece of work after all, and much of feminism preaches vulnerability and empathy and allowing oneself to get back in touch with their own emotions, rather than shutting themselves away from them which is often perpetuated by the societal expectations and norms of toxic masculinity.
Persephone crying as she confronts Apollo - the man who she now understands assaulted her - is understandable and real. A reasonable reaction to an emotional situation that many people can empathize with.
Hera crying as she reveals the true extent of the damage Kronos caused her is understandable and real. He's quite literally been stalking her in the recesses of her mind and it's reaching a breaking point.
But on the other hand, there's a difference between wanting to show a character showing their emotions and then learning to overcome the challenges they've presented with - whether they do it independently or learn to trust in others to help them - thus growing in the process and coming out stronger on the other side vs. using a character purely for torture porn. As much as we preach concepts like "normalize crying" in a very simplified way for the sake of being easily understood, such simplifications often result in a lack of nuance.
An entirely other subject to use as a comparison point to explain this nuance - it's like the difference between having a character who's become so jaded and disconnected from the concept of empathy that even murder becomes just a menial task to them vs. murderhobos. Murderhobos are not interesting or complex or empathetic or relatable, they're just written (and in the case of where the term comes from - Dungeons & Dragons - played) for the sole purpose of having an edgy uncaring character who thinks they're free from consequences while they fuck up the lives of everyone around them in a completely irredeemable way (and is often protected from such consequences due to plot armor, unless it's in D&D, in which case you'll likely be politely asked to either change your character for the sake of the campaign or leave.)
There's nothing to gain or learn from murderhobos. They only exist for the satisfaction of an ego complex - "I don't care what you want or how it affects the people around me, I want to kill people without consequences because that's as creative as my imagination can get in my own personal fantasy."
There's nothing to gain or grow from anymore when we get another scene of Hera bleeding mascara as she cries over her situation with Kronos while still refusing to actually tell anyone what's going on with Kronos, despite the fact that we had an entire fucking therapy speak episode where she realized she needed help. So it feels like it's purely there just to play on the trope of "sad woman is saaaad, won't anyone help herrrr?" which is really starting to learn into learned helplessness.
This is especially apparent with Persephone, who, upon causing a massive problem for everyone, has taken it upon herself to shut herself away while her loved ones deal with the problem. If she needs the time to cry and process what's going on, that's fine. But while that's happening, we know mortals are dying and that she's turning the situation into a learned helplessness pity party of "I'm a monsterrr and no one likes meeee :((((" while having zero self-awareness that yeah, she did cause this problem, and her locking herself away in her literal mansion isn't exactly going to help the situation.
I've already used Tamberlane as an example of approaching the subject of learned helplessness and how it's fundamentally different from simply being vulnerable and having emotions, but I'm gonna share it again here because it's really relevant and Persephone needs someone to give her this same wake-up call.
Considering Demeter was the one to approach her at the end of the last episode, I'm hoping she'll be the one to broach the topic with her, but judging by how Rachel's treated it so far with every character reassuring her with empty platitudes that accomplish nothing but comforting Persephone over something she caused like "Noooo you're not a monster, you're the best queen ever and you're trying her best!!" (and the fact that Rachel has spent so much time turning Demeter into public enemy #1 that her readers still can't fucking give her any shred of empathy even after finding out she lost a child, fucking yikes) I'm not holding my breath that this week's episode is gonna actually have that same level of emotional maturity or growth. This is the second time in the entire comic we've seen Persephone suffer the consequences of her actions out of many that have been harmful, some accidental, others very intentional (which Rachel has even supported her doing in a very unironic sense, it's safe to say Rachel really truly does believe that Persephone is entitled to abuse people). And judging by how things went the first time, it's hard to have the benefit of the doubt and assume Persephone is gonna actually take accountability and learn and grow from this. She didn't the last time and her character has only devolved since.
Sure, feeling like you've fucked up to such a monumental degree that you'll never be able to show your face in public again is something that's real and relatable and worth crying over... but crying is an emotional response, not the actual solution. It is a PART of expressing and processing emotions, but ultimately those emotions are not actions, just REactions. Crying is okay, crying is a normal response to grief and sadness, but if you don't actually take steps forward and continue to wallow in the sadness, blame everyone else around you for it, and simultaneously rely on everyone else to carry the burden of your own actions for you, then that's when it exits the realm of healthy emotional processing and broaches the unhealthy realm of learned helplessness and emotional manipulation.
If anything, her entire monologue in the last FP episode was more about Rachel being upset over criticism of her comic and her self-insert that, like Persephone's deal with Erebus and the "plague" that followed, she earned over not addressing the issues in her work sooner and instead choosing to double down - both through Persephone's abusive behavior within the narrative and Rachel's passive aggressive meta-commentary on that abuse being okay because "she's earned the right to lash out".
The only people in this entire comic who have "earned the right to lash out" are the women that Rachel has villainized along the way in the pursuit of giving her self-insert everything without effort or sacrifice. And even then those people would still have to rightfully answer for their wrongs and grow from them - because there is no right to abuse, there is no right to harming others, especially not if the "others" you're harming are people who were victims in their own right that you turned into imaginary enemies so you could have someone to punch down at in the absence of a spine to stand up for yourself against the real perpetrators. And in doing so, Persephone herself has become a perpetrator, who sheds crocodile tears that no one is buying because the writing is on the fucking wall.
#lore olympus critical#anti lore olympus#lo critical#ask me anything#ama#anon ask me anything#anon ama
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I'm curious do you think that it's possible to have a healthy relationship with Azul??
I've been reading a lot of Azul x reader fanfics and they're all Nice and all, but it also got me thinking of an actual healthy relationship with Azul Coul be possible? since you know he has a lot of issues and since your a Azul Stan and you seem to know him quite well, do you think it's possible??
OOOOOOH rubs hands gleefully I love this ask holy shit
So I'm going to start this by saying that a lot of this is my opinion, and it's one that's formed by not just how I read Azul but also by experiences I've gone through with relationships, both romantic and platonic. I'll try to give an essay that's as close to his character as possible, but this is already written with biases.
So anyway, the short answer to this is: Yes. I believe you can have a healthy relationship with Azul. But it's going to take a fucking long time till you even get there, and you really have to prove that you're not only a good friend to begin with, but someone trustworthy and someone with a dash of Fucked Up to understand him.
The long answer?
One of the first things about Azul that must be understood when you write him in a romantic setting is that his view on relationships is damaged. And I mean that with italics. It's not exactly a secret with his transactional mindset. He follows the give and take policy, contract or no contract. The best example you'll see of this is his PE Uniform story, with how he didn't want Jamil to give him flying lessons, not until Jamil asked for a price. He's not into gifts either, because he'd give something back to you anyway, which you see in his first Valentine's letter.
But if we dig deeper, this also may stem from his home environment and past bullying.
Starting with the home environment, his parents divorced. It must have left an impression on him, all the more if there were arguments in the household. First impressions last, and there may always be that little reminder in his head that many relationships can fall apart, even with an official contract in place.
Then the nature of Coral Sea and his past with bullying. Jade in his Platinum Jacket story (TL by mysteryshoptls) narrates a time when some sharks didn't fulfill their promises to him.
Jade: I wouldn’t say that… Back in the ocean, there were a few sharks that had refused to honor their promises. As I was entreating them to fulfill their duty, they all decided to bilk their promise altogether.
Coral Sea doesn't seem to be a very friendly environment, at least in the perspectives of the Octavinelle trio. They also seem to be discriminated against, with Azul's being pretty obvious and the tweels more on the speculation side. Thus, Azul was prone to that sort of unfriendliness and even betrayal. It wouldn't be surprising if some merfolk or animals did the same thing that the sharks did to Jade.
Overall, Azul's relationship with... relationships is not exactly healthy due to the circumstances he grew up with, and that has to be taken note of.
However, I do believe that Azul wants to connect with someone deeply. And it's probably one of his biggest yearnings. It seems ironic that he being so guarded and transactional with people would yearn for such a connection. But honestly, it's the very guarded people who desire that kind of relationship the most. It's tiring to carry your guard up all the time. Wouldn't it be great for once to have a relationship where you just don't have to keep it up anymore?
I think there's reason to believe that Azul is hopeful for such a connection to enter his life too. His mom found a second man, and from the few stories that he shared of his family, she and her new partner seem to be doing really well. Azul calls him 'father', and has described him to be kind and sensitive. And their relationship is likely to have started when Azul was still very young, if we assume that the restaurant boomed in business during his mom's second relationship. So Azul may have witnessed his mom's divorce really young, but he also saw early on that there can be a relationship that thrives with the right person.
To a big extent, you'll see this desire he has to have a deep connection with people in canon. An obvious but still notable one is Azul and his relationship with Jade and Floyd. A big part of his OB had to do with the two of them not following him and Floyd calling him lame. The Octavinelle CM exhibits this attachment he has to them as well. In Jade's Platinum story, Jade says he occasionally gives Azul coins. In Floyd's Lab card lines, he states that he'd give Azul shiny things on occasion. They both give Azul these gifts, and there's no hint that Azul gives them something in return, which is unlike his usual principle of give and exchange.
Outside of the twins, you also can see that it is possible to get Azul to be comfortable with someone. Book 6 showcases this at the end of the Riddle-Azul tower, when Azul fell asleep on Riddle's shoulder. This is after clearing their huge misunderstanding about why Riddle is often shielding Azul. Azul thought Riddle was underestimating his strength, but his reason for shielding Azul is just so he wouldn't have to treat a mer without a license or he'd be breaking the law. And it's so Riddle coded that Azul easily took it as the truth and saw that Riddle was really looking out for him. The progression of trust being built in this case seems pretty quick, sure, but it has to be noted too that Azul knew Riddle for more than a year at this point. They're both some of the top scorers in their year level, and they're fellow dorm leaders who have worked together. And Azul definitely knows Riddle's honesty and strict adherence with all kinds of rules, so it helps him trust Riddle more.
Honesty is not the only thing that Azul needs, though. He likely wants to connect with someone who's got that brand of fucked up like him. And this is where I bring up his dynamic with Jamil.
For this part, I'd like to link this wonderful thread made by @/kennae_bae because it highlights a few things I want to discuss here. This thread is mainly in the light of Azul/Jamil, but it goes into the need for connection that they both have as individuals. Of course, for the purposes of this essay, we mainly focus on Azul.
To an extent, Azul's view on Jamil gives us an idea of what he does when he wants to connect with certain folks. Firstly, it's seen in how he likes to approach Jamil a lot more so than other characters. He's offered on more than one occasion for Jamil to transfer to Octavinelle, which the thread has elaborated on. Even though he sees benefit in getting closer to other characters like Malleus (which has been shown in both Halloween Azul and Lab Sebek vignettes), he gives this offer to Jamil because he knows his potential. Azul is the type to see the strengths and potential of most people, and usually, he'd either see use for it or simply comment and do nothing with it if there's no benefit. But Jamil is different; it's true that if Azul just wants him to work at the lounge, he'd be much more forward with it and name a price. However, by wanting Jamil to join Octavinelle, and thus work together with him, Azul is also implying that he wants Jamil in a closer circle of friends.
But that's just one small part of it. I think the part that really shows his yearning to connect with someone like Jamil is in Book 4-34, when Azul gives his own thoughts about the situation between Kalim and Jamil:
Azul: The things you say out of unwavering faith in others will rub people like Jamil or I the wrong way. Rather, to those who live their lives on a budget, it sounds like condescending sarcasm. (TL by shel_bb)
Notice how Azul mentions himself along with Jamil in that one sentence. In that line alone, it sounds like he's connecting himself with Jamil because he feels that they are similar. And that acts as reassurance to Azul, that there's someone else (outside of Jade and Floyd) that could understand his pains.
However, having similar traumas and everything isn't a huge requirement to get to connect with Azul. If it was, he definitely would have let Jamil teach him flying in his PE story. But if he can at least see that you can understand the things he goes through (and maybe even empathize just slightly), it definitely opens up gates to having a deeper relationship with him.
Now okay, we really just covered one half and a bit of the question: is a relationship with Azul possible? Yes. But now we have to address the other half: the healthy relationship part.
To which case, I would say yes. I think the longevity of his relationship with Jade and Floyd is already a testament to this in some way, and all three of them have stayed together in spite of his overblot.
Now this is definitely biased, but I believe a glimpse of a possible healthy relationship with Azul can be found in Book 3-38. After everything that had transpired, Azul goes to return the photo to the Atlantica museum. And I believe most of you reading this will know this conversation.
Azul: I thought that if I could erase all the photos from my past, my time spent being bullied as a "dumb clumsy octopus" would vanish with them. The Sea Witch never hid her dark past but faced it and worked to overwrite her reputation. I kept saying I wanted to be like her, but... in the end, I couldn't accept who I was and tried to act like it never happened. (TL by shel_bb)
In this segment, we have Azul becoming vulnerable to us about his feelings. And I think this is important to bring up because (1) most of the OB characters do not get this vulnerable about their feelings post-OB (aside from Vil, who even then had a professional front when he apologized to the NRC Tribe), and (2) you just don't get Azul sharing something so vulnerable very often. He usually keeps his feelings unsaid so that people don't potentially use them against him. Yet there he is, admitting to you the reason why he wanted the photo he made you steal. And then Yuu reassures him and compliments him, to which Azul responds with:
Azul: My... hard work? Pfft. There is no need for you to flatter me. I only wanted to get back at those who had made fun of me for so long.
And that's all said with a smile. He's happy to get those compliments. =w=
But to cap it off, a healthy relationship with Azul means that it's a relationship where he can let himself be vulnerable to the other person. It is definitely huge bonus points if the other is not only trustworthy but also someone that can understand him somehow.
However, it definitely still takes him a lot of time, especially with how much he goes through. I think that's why you really have to prioritize friendship in order to have a healthy relationship with him. Being able to have a good lasting friendship with Azul would let him trust that you'd be a great partner in life. It definitely will take years, but when you can connect and be open and honest together, a healthy relationship with Azul is possible.
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hi hi!! congratulations on your 100 followers! can i request a nanami fic with prompt no. 29 please?🤩
also, i love your works!! can't wait to read more of them!💗🌻
prompt #29 - "i'm beginning to think i imagined you all along"
𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ "cornerstone" by arctic monkeys
part of my 100 follower event <3 masterlist | make a request !
ee thank you for the sweet words nonnie !!! sending you all my love :) this is my first nanami (and angst) piece so i hope i could do your boy justice (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ thank you for requesting!!!
nanami took the breakup harder than anyone expected.
his friends, family–even he was shocked at how unprepared he was. after you moved out, he searched for any kind of solace he could. no-contact was especially hard on him. all he wanted to do was call you up and mend your relationship in any way possible..
but it all became too much. the love died out, eventually, as it seemed to always do. you and nanami had a phase where you weren’t lovers, just two people living together, going about your days with no passion for what once was. there was stonewalling, periods of no communication, and extreme feelings that seemed to bottle up and pour out at the most unfortunate times.
it would be best if it was over. and it was a difficult decision for you to make. it was hard seeing him cry together with you, but it was for the best if you cut ties.
maybe you’d come back to each other. if you love something, you let it go, right? and if it’s meant to be, it comes back to you, right?
right?
evidently, he wasn’t good at letting go.
he wanted to be better at it. he understood. there was a gap in time where he let you be. savored the no-contact because he wanted to respect your wishes. and it all got to him worse than he thought it would. maybe he could stage an ‘accidental’ meet-cute, and the two of you could fall in love all over again.
so he’d put on his best outfit, one he made sure you liked, and caked on the cologne he wore when you first started dating. scent is one of the most potent senses, he argued, that one whiff would carry you back to the best times.
the moon and all her stars laughed together, knowing that the scene before them has played out time and time again.
nanami occupied anywhere he could to try and find you again. in one bar, he could swear that there was someone who laughed just like you.
in his best attempts at being inconspicuous, he hovered around the bar area just to steal a glimpse at your twin.
or what he thought was your twin. turns out, the person just laughed like you. and that’s all there was to it. a laugh that plagued his mind, at this point. a laugh that warmed him with only a thought; one that continued to ring in his ear even if he couldn’t remember the last time he heard it.
god, what he’d kill to bathe in that laugh one more time. to really soak it up knowing it’d be his last. he can’t believe some of the last words you exchanged were underneath the anger of an argument.
he’d grown tired too. work was especially bad, and by the time he’d gotten home he had run out of understanding. he was uncharacteristically quick to snap, easy to upset. eventually, you decided it’d be best to say nothing at all rather than risk it.
the relationship felt like a timebomb, just minutes from detonation. it finally seemed to give when it needed to.
there was more unsaid on his end.
he traveled to the next bar. maybe you’d be here instead.
it was a place you and him frequented when life got to be a little too much. every so often, a date night was in order to reset it all and start over with a clean slate. he’d order your favorite drink, something stiff for himself, and an appetizer for the two of you to share over the hours you’d spend catching up.
it was a little check-in with one another. he hasn’t been here in months.
he was beginning to see you in everyone he came across. it was getting painful. all the faces and voices made his brain a little fuzzy. chalk it up to the alcohol, maybe to the lovesickness; nanami couldn’t tell.
the atmosphere was warm, but he felt anything but. the overwhelming smells of mixed drinks and various bar foods were starting to get to him. the music was a little bit too loud, glasses were clinking too much for his liking, and he could start to feel a headache forming just behind his eyes.
you’d have the remedy. you’d know how to make him feel better.
he didn’t have you to go home to though. to play up his illness a little bit too much, so you’d baby him and dote on him even if you knew he was exaggerating.
nanami kept up a hardened attitude, most of the time. with you, it felt like he could be soft and more open than he usually could be.
you were his blanket. and even if you didn’t know it, you still were; nanami hated himself for this. it was hard to be all alone again. everyone was starting to look like you.
they’d order your usual drink, say a word that you pronounced funny one time, wearing a color that you swore you looked bad in, even though you never did.
pieces of you were everywhere. in everyone. love is evident in every corner of this bar, because you exist and everyone has a little part of you in them. you’re the embodiment of it. it was hard to not be with you like this.
nanami thought he was losing it – no one could put a finger on where you’d been, if they’d seen you, or recall any details of what you’ve been up to since the break up, and it was slowly driving him insane. it seemed like the relationship, and you in general, were nothing more than a figment of his imagination. there wasn’t a trace of you anywhere. in the bar, in the world, in his apartment; just existing in the cavity of his very being.
so he left. he called a cab and waited anxiously for it to pull up. not usually an anxious man, nanami fiddled with the apartment keys in his coat pocket in an effort to look busy. shuffling in, he made light conversation while the driver followed the gps closely back to the cold apartment waiting for him.
the window was cracked and the night air was electric with conversation and scents of the bustling streets at night. the air carried the smell of you into the cabin.
not your perfume or the soap you use, but the way the nape of your neck smelled when he delicately kissed your shoulders. it smelled like a sunday morning in bed, getting out of bed at the very last minute to get your day started. it was you, it was you, it was nothing but you.
the driver could’ve taken a left at the petrol station as a quick way to cut the ride in half. if he were a better man, nanami would’ve helped the driver out to get home and be with you quicker. but just for tonight, he’d sit in this cab a little bit longer with the window wide open.
all content © cinnamoneve 2023. do not repost, modify, steal, or copy without permission.
#cinnamoneve's centennial ໒꒰ྀི ܸ. .ܸ ꒱ྀི১ !!#nanami kento#jjk nanami#nanami x reader#jjk kento#kento nanami#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#kento nanami x y/n#jjk headcanons#jjk x reader#jjk#jjk angst#jujustsu kaisen x reader#★ jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#nanami x you#nanami angst#♡ nanami
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can I request a yandere younger brother Hajun x big brother male reader? Like the reader is about to go to college but Hajun doesn't want that, afraid his brother will find a girlfriend but the reader reassures him that he won't and he does it while fucking him in front of a mirror, just basically whispering reassuring words to him.
⠀⠀♰⠀⠀𝗦𝗛𝗘
𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 ko hajun/goo hajoon x m!reader
𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 male reader, top! reader, bottom! hajun, yandere! hajun (more implied than intended), incest, reader referred as "hyung". minors dni
𝗔/𝗡 smut ended up in the background, sorry 'bout that
"Hajun, have you seen my suitcase?"
Silence ensued, you waited standing in the middle of the room, hands on hips. The door opposite opened, so your younger brother walked out, entering your room.
"Hajun?" you pressed, turning to face him. A cold expression stared back at you, a concrete wall trying to keep you out.
Your brother had always been like this, hard to get close to or understand, but not for you, never for you. To you, he was an open book, shouting words even when he showed minimal expression or preferred a cold stare over words. And that's how you knew, before he even understood what was going on, that Hajun's feelings for you weren't platonic, nothing like brothers normally felt for each other. He panicked when confronted, that unsual anxiety taking over his body, hands shaking, muttering apologies mixed with "I love you" and "please don't leave me" and when you pulled him to you and kissed him, Hajun ── the guy so feared that made people pee just by looking at him ── passed out. When he woke up, minutes later, he first ignored you, deaf to your words, then he assumed a guilt that didn't exist and with his hands clutching your clothes he begged you not to leave him; you could hate him, he was nothing, he didn't deserve you, but please don't go.
Sometimes, it was still difficult to relate the anxious and desperate boy with the aloof and confident one. The boy your best friend insisted that hit him for a joke about marrying you and the boy who stole your underpants thinking you didn't know.
"I didn't see," he said at last, sitting down on the bed among the mess of clothes and objects.
"I need to find it, my flight is in two days."
He shrugged, oblivious to your stress, and pulled one of the neatly folded t-shirts from the pile, then another and another, until they were all crumpled and thrown in random corners of the bed. You watched him in astonishment, taking a deep breath so you wouldn't just yell at him.
Hajun wasn't exactly hiding his displeasure at your departure. You were going to college in another city and being separated from you even for short periods during childhood had always made him anxious and irritable. It was hard to imagine what the thought of spending years away from you was doing to his mind. Yes, you would come visit him every weekend and call and text every day, but the argument seemed to go right by him.
This week alone, he's already stolen your tickets twice, tried to poison you with foods you're allergic to in an attempt to make you miss your flight once, messed up your clothes five times, and begged you to stay... well, every day. In some dark way, you knew he was constantly considering chaining you to the foot of the bed, but you tried to convince yourself that it was stress making you imagine things. And yesterday, he had tried to impersonate you and cancel your college application. Since then you had ignored him, unable to look at his indifferent face without wanting to slap him.
Of course, you had no way of knowing what that, along with your inevitable departure, was doing to his head.
"You know I hate it when you lie to me," you confronted, feeling your blood heat up. "Where's my suitcase? And stop messing with my stuff! I'm tired of your childish behavior!"
His lips trembled, looking like he might cry at any moment, but instead his expression hardened, eyes flashing furiously in your direction.
"Am I being childish? You're the one leaving, leaving me. Am I not enough for you, hyung? Do you hate me? Is that why you're leaving? Are you disgusted with me? Because I like you? You're going to stay away from me aren't you? To find a girlfriend, some bitch with whom you will marry and have children. I will kill her I swear I will," he snapped, for the first time in years yelling at you. Your eyes widened, caught off guard by the explosion. Hajun blinked, confronted by your expression and in moments the anger was replaced by something else and he lowered his gaze, whispering softly, the first tears falling: "Please do not leave me."
You took a deep breath, confused, surprised, feeling so many things at the same time that you couldn't even identify, but most important of all, the feeling of having failed as a brother and a lover.
The bed sagged under your weight, a sob breaking in the air as you pulled Hajun to you, trying to fit him into your lap. He wasn't small anymore, he was heavy and had a well-built body, his thighs thick over hers, his weight pressing you into the mattress. He wasn't a kid anymore, but then why did he still act the same as when he was?
You chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to his temple as you tried to wipe the tears falling down his face. He offered you a sullen snarl in response.
"Listen to me, Hajun," you asked. "I love you." That got his attention, wet eyes lifting to stare at you. "You are the most precious thing to me, nothing could ever replace you, nothing ever will, and no one."
"Then don't go," he pleaded uncertainly. You tightened your arms around him tighter.
"I have to go, love. That doesn't mean I won't come back or forget about you or look for someone else. You're the only person I want."
"What about she?"
"There is no 'she', Hajun."
He didn't answer, and you knew he still had doubts, that fear wouldn't dissipate so easily.
You cupped his damp cheek and leaned forward, kissing him. Lips touching as lightly as a feather. Sweetly and slowly you guided him, trying to convey all your love through the act. Hajun melted against you, salty tears falling back down as you pulled back, smiling at him and somehow, you knew he was thinking about you smiling that way at someone else, kissing someone else that way, holding they in your arms and tell that you loved they... You went back to kissing him, trying to make his attention stay in the here and now, in you.
You took off his shirt and struggled to get his pants and underwear off without him having to leave your lap. Hajun moaned softly as the kisses on his neck and shoulders strayed lower and one of his nipples was caught between your teeth. He rocked his hips in search of friction, a wet mark being left behind as the head leaking from his cock found your stomach. You allowed, of course you did, you could never deny your little brother anything. If he only understood the size of your love...
It was hard to get Hajun off of you so you could get the lube, abandoning the condom in the drawer at his request. He wanted to have you, completely. He crawled back to you eagerly, blushing in the prettiest way as you sat him down with his back to you, back against your chest, your cock hard against his ass and eyes meeting the reflection in the mirror at the front of the bed. No need to ask him to keep his eyes on the mirror, Hajun drank the reflected actions like water, groaning loudly as one of your lubricated fingers slipped inside his red hole and your lips kissed the back of his neck. Beautiful, you whispered, finger slowly in and out of him, crawling against the sensitive walls. My one and only love, the other hand busy pinching his pretty nipples begging for attention. I don't need anyone else but you, when one finger turned into two and he trembled around the stretch, sweat running down the neck. I will always come back to you, when you finally slid inside him, holding his legs so you two could watch in the mirror his hole opening up for you, his dick, red and leaking. He broke eye contact, head falling back on your shoulder, hole squeezing around your cock. But it was the I love you so much that made him cry even harder, sobbing, nails digging into your arms, coming a second time for you even when his cock was unable to shed anything, twitching pathetically.
At the end of the night he passed out, exhausted after beg with a hoarse throat to you keep him full, refusing to let you clean him, open and swollen hole contracting in the attempt to keep all your cum inside. He was sweaty, semen smeared on his belly and tears dried on his face, finally able to sleep peacefully.
Two days later you left, tickets in hand, a new city waiting for you and a gps and messaging spy app that your brother had downloaded while you were sleeping working to make sure you didn't lie and that he really didn't have to get one-way ticket to scare away whatever bitch you tried to replace him with.
#x male reader#x top reader#quest supremacy x reader#questism x reader#quest supremacy x male reader#questism x male reader#ko hajun x male reader#goo hajoon x male reader#x male top reader#x top male reader#manhwa x reader#webtoon x reader
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