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#i'll probably be awake tonight
boyofzoot · 2 years
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Trying to raise $100 so I can make it to Tuesday morning! If you can help, the links are below! Any amount truly helps out! Thank you so much!!!
VENMO IS @ boyofzoot
Commission Info | Patreon  
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ghostlyclementine · 5 months
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this is probably nothing but that is now two times today I have seen the eggs talk about hatching
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schoenht · 9 months
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the way i forgot that i had more asks in my drafts. so i thought "oh we can do this all by today" i lied. i am a liar. and sleepy sol should know ahead of time.
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mwagneto · 10 months
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i amso fucking tired
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machinedramon · 1 year
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wanna see green comet but have job that requires stable bedtime :(
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dcviline · 7 months
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feeling a lil eepy so I'm gonna take my meds and wind down
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futureman · 8 months
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body language
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pairing: joel miller x f!reader
summary: joel shows up at your place in the middle of the night with a camcorder and an idea
warnings: 18+ MDNI, no outbreak, soft-dom!joel, soft!joel, sex tape, established relationship, smut, unprotected piv, size kink, praise kink, overstimulation, fingering, rough sex, mild camera anxiety, moodboard for aesthetics only
word count: 7.4k
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“Joel? It’s two o’clock in the morning, you alright?”
He never calls this late. He’s never even up this late. Joel’s a creature of habit—asleep by midnight and up, bright and early, at seven. Yet, it’s still his name lighting up your phone and illuminating the pitch black of your bedroom, waking you out of a near-dead sleep. 
It takes him a moment to reply and, for a second, you think maybe he’s been out drinking with his contractor buddies. But that’s not like him, especially on a weeknight. 
When his voice finally filters through the speaker, he sounds…off. His deep drawl is lower than usual, thick with something syrupy and heady that you’d probably be able to place if you weren’t teetering on the cusp of consciousness.
“Be better if I was there with ya.”
Oh.
Now, you’re awake. The barely concealed intention in his tone and words is unmistakable, and now you know exactly why he’s calling you at two in the morning on a weeknight. Because he hasn’t seen you in weeks, and he’s horny. 
Heat licks at the base of your spine, and you get it. It's been a while since he’s been in your bed, and you're horny, too. You lean over to retrieve your phone from the nightstand, and your pilling flannel sheets slip down to your bare thighs, exposing your feverish skin to the brisk autumn air drifting in through a cracked window. It feels like the sweetest relief—you usually run hot when you sleep, but it’s nothing like this.
Switching the call off speaker, you unconsciously lean into the small screen as if it were him. A photo of Joel, soaked and covered in sand at the beach last year, flashes up at you and your lips brush against it as you murmur into the mic.
"If you wanted it bad enough, then you would be," you tease, your voice sultry and still heavy with sleep. You settle onto your back, kicking the sheets further down the bed so you can splay your fingers low on your stomach. They dip just slightly under the waistband of your underwear, closer to where you hope you'll need them soon. "So? Tell me how bad you want it."
You've never done the phone sex thing with Joel before, but if that's what he's looking for, then you're more than happy to play along. Every hushed sigh and bit-back groan, you want to hear it all. To let the gentle vibration of it in your ear reverberate through your body, feeding your arousal until it’s humming between your legs.
It’s been way too long. This might hold you over for now, but after tonight, you're going to need the real thing. Your boyfriend, close enough to touch, instead of a crackling, disembodied voice.
But, before you can even begin, your call is abruptly halted by a hard knock at the door. You shoot up, ripping your hand out of your underwear to rest over your racing heart. 
No one’s ever at your door at this hour, and the fact that someone is either spells trouble or a mistake. Part of you is relieved that you’re on the phone with Joel in case there’s actual danger out there, but another nagging part really wants to ignore the interruption. You’ve got better things to do. 
But you investigate, anyway. Better safe than sorry, right? Then, you can enjoy whatever Joel’s got planned for you to the fullest.
"Jesus, what...hold on, I think there’s someone outside," you whisper harshly into the phone as you slide out of bed, creeping as quietly as you can to the front door. "I'll be right back, I’m gonna go—“
To your surprise, Joel continues on anyway, undeterred by the commotion and the obvious alarm in your voice. But he sounds strange again, almost like he’s echoing. 
“Want it real bad."
You grip your phone tighter as you struggle to hear what he's saying, but you’re too distracted by the chaos unfolding around you to focus. He’s acting so out of character. Seriously, what the hell is going on? You have no idea why this night’s been so out of wack, but it's starting to get a little too weird for your liking.
“Uh, say that again?"
The call drops and you're left staring at your home screen, feeling confused as hell. That is, until you hear those same words in that familiar, deep drawl coming from the other side of the door. 
There's no way. 
You unlock it without bothering to look through the peephole, opening it to find a very disheveled Joel leaning against the doorframe. His face is already so close to yours like he’s been waiting for you to come to him, eagerly. Impatiently. 
The scent of his favorite spearmint gum fans over your face, and you subconsciously drag your tongue along your bottom lip in anticipation. His eyes follow the action, captivated by every minute movement you make, and you can tell how much just being in your presence is affecting him. The intensity in his gaze would make you feel nervous if it wasn’t for the obvious want simmering below the surface. 
God, why does all of this feel so potent? You’re panting...when did that even start? It’s suddenly hotter than the stifling warmth under your sheets, despite being half-naked in your open doorway, but it feels good. Right. Because he’s breathing as heavily as you are.
There’s no traces of beer or whiskey on his breath. So, he's completely sober, then. Whatever you were hearing in his voice, that wild look in his eyes, completely overtaken by his blown pupils—he’s not drunk on any of that. Only on thoughts of you. Your breath hitches when he speaks again, in person this time.
"Don't think I need to repeat myself, do I?"
Your eyes drop to the intimidating tent in his sweatpants before darting up to meet his.
"No, I believe you," you breathe out.
And, god, do you.
Adrenaline floods your veins as he lurches forward to kiss you, and, finally, you get to taste that dizzying combination of mint and Joel. The coolness of it on your tongue does little to quell the heat spreading from your lips down to where you need him most.
His hands immediately find purchase where yours were just moments before, sliding up your sides under your oversized sleep shirt—his shirt. He cups the soft skin of your breasts, and you moan wantonly into his mouth, suddenly desperate to be bare in front of him.
But he ignores the bunched-up fabric shielding you from his view. He actually seems pleased by the sight of it on your body and the scent of himself still lingering on your skin. You haven't washed it since he left it here, and you can tell it’s stoking something primal in him. Something he's left unchecked since the last time he was with you that threatens to consume him. Shit, you can hear it in his voice.
“Couldn’t stop thinkin’ about ya,” he mumbles against your lips, heavy lines marring his brow as if the thought of not being able to have you for so long physically pained him. “Been up all damn night…haven’t been able to think about anything else all goddamn night.”
He thumbs over a nipple while he tweaks the other, hard enough to startle a gasp out of you, and, oh, he likes that. The blunt outline of his hardening cock is insistent against your hip, but he holds himself back from grinding into you. Even as his body reacts without his permission, he’s still choosing to prioritize your pleasure first.
“You got no idea, the things m’gonna do to you tonight. Gonna treat you right, pretty girl, give ya everything you deserve.”
Your heart stutters, and you practically preen at his praise. This fucking man. You swallow his words greedily, pressing your lips into his hard enough to bruise, and the kiss descends into desperation and an unexpected need to hear more. You want more of those sweet, filthy words, to see what they really mean when he finally delivers on them. And all you have to do is ask.
“Then, give it to me.”
He parts from you with a lewd smack, a string of saliva hanging between you. You use the brief respite to take him in, your eyes roving over his tousled curls and the flush that’s quickly traveling down his neck and spreading across his chest. 
He’s so fucking beautiful, and…and why aren’t your hands on him right now? He’s been standing there for minutes, or hours, you can’t even tell anymore. Yet, when you reach out to touch him, he catches your hand in midair. His grip is gentle yet firm, the side of his mouth quirking down as he raises an eyebrow, and you feel like you’re being scolded.
"Oh, honey. I know you can ask nicer than that,” he mutters, lifting it to his lips and softly kissing your palm. 
There's a sense of authority in the way he says it, contradictory to the saccharine nature of his words. You're starting to realize you're not in control—that, tonight, what he says goes—but it feels safe. You know he'll take good care of you.
He gives your breast an encouraging squeeze as his other hand snakes further down to palm your ass, pulling your hips into his so you can feel all of him. This is what you'll get if you're a good girl, he's telling you. 
You bite back a whine, gazing up at him through your lashes, wetting your lips before you try again. His way.
"Please." 
Your voice quivers around the singular syllable that guarantees you’ll get what you need. 
“There's my sweet girl. Just need’ta be reminded sometimes, don’t ya?” 
He nods his head slowly, commandingly, while he asks the question, and you mimic him. You can feel yourself slipping, drowning in him and this feeling of security. You can’t help it, and you don’t want to.
He leans in to press his lips against yours again, devouring you in a way that feels less hungry and more exploratory, like he’s mapping you out. Filing away everything that makes your breath hitch and your eyelids flutter. He’s not immune to you, though. That much is obvious.
There's a growing wet patch on the front of his sweatpants, and you belatedly realize he didn’t bother putting on boxers before he left his house. He rubs damply against your stomach, just below your belly button, but he’s still not nearly close enough to where you need him. You don’t even know why his pants are still on. They really shouldn’t be.
Then, that same cool breeze and the delicate sound of crunchy, autumn leaves blowing along the sidewalk reminds you why. The front door is still wide open, leaving you standing in your underwear, and Joel with his hand up your shirt, in full view of anyone passing by. Not that they would at this time of night, but the thought is still a little thrilling. But not enough for Joel to leave it open any longer.
He pushes you further into your apartment, kicking the door shut behind him, and leads you backward to your bedroom. God, you can’t wait to see him—his tanned, sun-weathered skin and sparse smattering of freckles. 
There’s too many layers between you and if your body isn’t pressed against his soon, you might actually lose your mind. You’ve never been this desperate for him before, but there’s something about the way he’s acting tonight. 
This unfamiliar headspace you’re in…fuck, it feels good. You’re trusting him to make up for those weeks apart and, even more so, to dictate your pleasure in ways that are totally new to your relationship. You’ll do what he tells you, you’ll moan for him, you’ll cum for him. He knows what’s best for you.
Your clothes come off first. Your shirt is pulled up and over your head, and then he bends to tug down your underwear, letting it drop soundlessly to the floor. Next go his shoes, then his socks, leaving a trail of fabric from the living room, all the way to your bed. 
It’s so sensual—surprisingly so—even though it’s something you do all the time. But tonight, he’s handling you with such rapt attention. His eyes never leave yours as each article of clothing falls to the plush, blue-patterned carpet beneath your feet.
You’re so naked. Compared to him, still clad in his jacket, t-shirt, and pants, you feel…exposed. Vulnerable. Maybe that’s the point. You approach him carefully, waiting for his permission to touch him, and he smiles softly.
“C’mere, baby. Could use a little help here,” he reassures you, reaching out to take your hand. But instead of letting you undress him, he guides it over the thick bulge in his sweatpants. 
His fingers close around yours and, together, you squeeze him. Your eyes shoot up to gauge his reaction, but other than a nearly inaudible sigh and pinched brows, he’s not showing any other signs of being affected at all. 
Craving more, you grind the palm of your hand into him, relishing the warmth of his cock as it pulses the frantic rhythm of his heartbeat in your grasp. He hisses out a breath, his hand tensing over yours, and a flash of pride lances through you. 
Yes. Gotcha.
But your satisfaction is short-lived. To your disappointment, he tugs your hand away, but he doesn't separate from you completely. Instead, he slides it up past the softness of his stomach to rest on his chest. It rumbles softly under your touch as he speaks, except, they’re not necessarily the words you want to hear.
“No more of that. S’about you right now,” he drops his forehead to yours, fixing you with a stern look. “Later, alright? When I’m fuckin’ ya, you can touch me as much as you want.”
Shit. You clench down hard, suddenly hyperaware of the wetness between your legs and the feeling of devastating emptiness. You want it now, but you still have no idea what his plans are. 
If you’re a brat about it, he’ll probably make you wait even longer, and, anyway, that’s not what you want to be tonight. You want to be good for him. 
His broad hands spread across your waist as he tilts his head to kiss your cheek, then the underside of your jaw. Without warning, he sucks hard, likely leaving a mark you’ll have to cover up tomorrow before work. You hope he leaves more.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble remorsefully, shivering in his arms as his thumbs begin to rub soothing circles into your skin. “I can wait—I…I’ll be better.”
“S’okay, baby, I know ya will,“ he replies, dragging his lips down to your shoulder. “Just keep goin’. You’re doin’ so good.”
Finally, you push his jacket off his shoulders and it joins the rest of your clothes, hitting the floor with a solid thunk. The noise startles you enough to clear some of that comfortable haze, and you slowly pull back, eyeing him curiously. 
That’s…way louder than it should’ve been. It’s his fall coat so it barely weighs a thing, even with his phone and wallet in his pockets. 
But he doesn’t seem surprised at all. His face is unreadable except for the hint of a smirk, and he doesn’t look like he’s about to talk anytime soon. 
You bend down to pick it up, your eyes still on his, and you were right. It’s heavier than it should be by a long shot, and you’re honestly a little taken aback that you didn’t notice it earlier. But, in all fairness, you weren’t noticing much of anything earlier, save for Joel’s hands and lips on your body.
Reaching into his pocket, your fingers brush against something clunky and metallic. It’s not his phone. There’s too many moving pieces, and it’s at least three times its size. 
When the mystery item is finally revealed, your jaw drops. Joel can be a pretty spontaneous guy when he wants to be, but this? You never saw this coming.
In your hand sits a goddamn camcorder. An honest-to-god video camera that was just sitting in his pocket with no discernible reason for being there. 
While you wait for him to explain, the gadget begins to feel heavier by the second, just the idea of it burning a hole right through your palm. But you know you don’t need him to. You’re not a child, and, in the back of your mind, you already know exactly why it’s there. This is the reason he came here.
That pretty, hazy brain fog halts briefly, just long enough for you to get some answers. You want to hear him say it.
“You said you’d give me everything I deserve, right? I think I deserve an explanation,” you say, forgoing the pleasantries he asked of you earlier. 
You’re fighting not to sound weak, to emulate his authoritative tone, but your heart is pounding and you already sound out of breath. Fucking hell, this man. You don’t think you’ve ever been this turned on in your life, and he knew this would happen. 
Judging by the way his eyes darken and rove over your naked curves, he’s painfully aware of it. You watch dumbfounded as his patience runs out, and he discards his shirt and sweatpants. Now that his secret’s out, he doesn’t want to wait anymore, either.
You bite down hard on your bottom lip, and your hands clench into fists at your sides to keep yourself from reaching out and touching him, but it feels impossible. It’s right there—his cock, leaking and flushed red at the tip from neglect. 
It jerks under your heated gaze, and he exhales sharply through his nose, wrapping his hand tightly around the base. He's clearly struggling as much as you are. Then, he moves closer, all but crowding you into the edge of the bed, and you can feel it pulsing against your bare skin. 
“Here’s the deal, pretty girl—you’re gonna cum s’many times as I want you to, and this here’s gonna record it all,” he drawls, holding out his hand for the camera. You acquiesce without any more questions. “Waited too damn long to see you like this and that ain’t happenin’ again.”
His other hand cups your cheek to trace your bottom lip with his thumb, and your lips part around an almost imperceptible gasp. To anyone else but him, at least. 
“You gonna let me?”
You nod quickly, praying your eyes convey all of the want you’re feeling and none of the nerves. 
“Yeah,” you answer, breathlessly. “I’ll let you.”
But he sees right through you. The apprehension in your voice is too apparent, and he clocks it on the spot. His eyes instantly soften. He tugs you into his arms and holds you close, nosing into the hair just above your ear. Relieved, you sag into his familiar embrace. 
“If this ain’t okay with you, we stop right here. Alright? We don’t do anythin’ you're not a hundred percent sure you want,” and he sounds attentive and so earnest. 
His bare skin feels so warm against yours, and you allow it to remind you of everything he promised you. Of all of the things he’s about to do to you, for you, and the tape that’ll capture it all. For yours and Joel’s eyes only, whenever you need it. And you know you will eventually. 
Rubbing your cheek into his chest, you close your eyes and take a minute to let the calming beat of his heart make you feel less nervous. This is an entirely different kind of reminder, one that reassures you that you trust this man with everything you’ve got. You’re sure of your answer.
“I want this, Joel,” you murmur, slowly opening your eyes to meet his, commanding his full attention. “I promise you, I want this so fucking badly.”
That flips the switch. He swaps your positions in the blink of an eye, looping his arm around your middle to drag you up the bed until his back is against the headboard with you between his legs. 
“Don't need'ta be shy. You’re beautiful, baby, that’s all it’s gonna see,” he breathes out, his voice thick with affection and want.
He bends you both forward, his chest solid against your back, to set the camcorder onto the sheets, and tosses a few pillows behind it to prop it up. Something intimidating clicks just as Joel tilts the preview screen toward you. 
It’s on. Brightly lit and reflecting back a depraved mirror image of you and Joel, naked and panting and needy. 
Okay. Okay, here we go. Another click, and then a red light blips next to the lens. 
It’s recording. 
The light flashes steadily, and you can feel your body tensing with every strobe. Come on, loosen up. It’s just a piece of metal. A very…scary piece of metal that’s watching your every move. Your thighs tremble from a confusing mix of arousal and nerves, and you start to feel embarrassed. 
You can see yourself on the little screen, feeling small yet secure in Joel’s arms, but you’re too focused on the camera’s attention on you to relax. As if he can tell you’re about to shrink into yourself, Joel distracts you. You haven’t told him to stop or asked him to turn it off, and he knows you would if this became too much.
"See what I mean?" He smoothes his hands down your thighs, carefully parting your legs. He gives you every chance to close them, but you don’t. "Fuckin' perfect, just like I told ya."
You try harder to see what he sees, what you're praying the camera sees. He's so free with his compliments and praise, you want to believe you deserve them.
"Prettiest pussy I've ever seen," he mutters tightly under his breath, his fingers massaging the tense muscles in your thighs. "From now on, m'gonna get to see this whenever I want. See myself fuckin' you whenever I can't."
Once you catch sight of your glistening heat reflected back at you, you help him spread your legs even further, watching as your cunt visibly clenches in response. 
Oh. Oh...look at you.
You get it now, why he wants this on film. You’re captivated by yourself, by the way Joel bites back a groan and his body seizes up as he fights not to rut into you. You’d love to be able to see that again. 
But then his fingers finally press deliciously into your clit and any lingering anxiety completely fades away. You barely even register his lips brushing against your ear, checking in before he continues with everything he’s about to put you through.
“Doin’ alright?” he murmurs between damp kisses against your neck. That tranquil haze begins to settle in again as he mouths wetly at your skin, the coarse drag of his beard a familiar comfort.
“Mhm,” you hum before your head lolls back onto his shoulder, and you slip completely. “S'good...feels good.”
“That's my girl,” he breathes tenderly, rewarding you with more pressure, pressing down harder on your clit.
The slick friction is heady and so effective that all you can do is give in as your hips swivel into his touch of their own accord. He's taking such good care of you, attuned to every gasp, the quickening rise and fall of your breasts.
You tilt your head to observe his expression. It's your only indication of what he’s feeling since he’s still refusing to allow himself to react to you physically.
He's breathtaking, looking like a man starved with his parted lips and pitch-black eyes, locked on where his fingers are slipping through the mess he’s making of your pussy. He must feel you watching him because he suddenly smirks, snaking a hand up your body to cup your breast. 
Your eyes squeeze shut and you mewl, pretty and perfect for the camera, your hips bucking clear off his lap when he begins to languidly massage the soft curve. You're getting so close already and your entire body quakes with it, your thighs trembling violently against his as he swirls tighter, faster circles into your swollen clit.
“Joel…ngh—Joel, I’m...fuck, m’gonna cum,” you whimper into his neck, grabbing his thighs to anchor yourself. "C-can I? Please."
“I know, baby, I can feel it. C’mon, give it to me,” he rasps, your demand from earlier falling raggedly from his lips. "Show the camera how hard ya cum for me."
Then, he pinches your nipple hard between his thumb and calloused middle finger, and you’re gone. Your orgasm crashes over you in a blissful wave, your stomach tensing intermittently with every gushing pulse of your cunt, and he doesn’t let up. Not until you’ve ridden his hand through your aftershocks, and slump into his chest, completely spent.
“That’s one, pretty girl.”
That’s…one? He’s counting them? You’re struggling to understand, to even focus on what he’s saying, but he doesn’t leave you wondering for long.
"You're gonna give me four, alright?” His fingers shift from your chest to your chin, tilting your head up to face him. The look in his eyes tells you to listen because he means this. “Want ya to cum on my fingers three times before you cum on my cock. Can ya do that for me?"
Christ. Your eyes dart from the attentive device, still recording every move and reaction you make, back to his. Can you? You’re not even sure if that’s possible, and your bottom lip trembles as you start to overthink it. 
You’ve never orgasmed that many times in a row, not with him or by yourself, and yet, he sounds so sure that you can. That he can make you. His thumb gently strokes your chin, and you believe him. You will.
"Yes, Joel," you find yourself nodding obediently, and you're thrilled at how pleased he looks. 
He leans down to kiss away your worries, swallowing your surprised squeal as his fingers waste no time starting up those insistent swirls on your clit again. Your hips jerk away from his hand, but he only smiles against your lips, his strong arms holding you in place.
It’s way too much, nearly overwhelming you, and you whimper into his mouth at the oversensitivity. Your floor muscles clench painfully as you continue to try and recover from your last one, but you don’t stop him. You give into him so easily, letting his adoration and sheer desire fuel you.
“That's it. You can take it, I know ya can,” he encourages, pulling away from your lips to gaze down at you in awe. "Look at my girl...so damn responsive tonight. Listenin' so well."
You can’t help the satisfaction blooming in your chest, gasping in relief as the sensitivity begins to subside into intense pleasure. His eyes drop between your legs as your hips start to chase his touch, and yours quickly follow.
“Shit,” he mutters, his voice tighter than it has been all night. “You get so fuckin’ wet when ya cum. Makin' the prettiest mess.”
His middle and ring fingers abruptly slip from rubbing merciless circles into your clit down to your entrance, plunging inside you, and god, it's exactly what you need. His fingertips drag against your sensitive walls, stroking something repeatedly that steals your breath away, and your pussy flutters around him. 
He mimics the soft sound but it trails off, dropping to something deeper that rumbles in his chest, and his slow, purposeful thrusts turn aggressive. His fingers hook inside you, and your eyes roll back, lips parting around desperate, choked-out words he'll watch back and probably cum to.
"...t-there, there. Please...don't stop—," you keen, your voice catching every time your hips buck to meet his hand. "—n-need more. Please, Joel, I...c-can you...?"
That gorgeous smirk returns, his face alight with pride. He's so proud of you.
“Beautiful and polite, Christ. Whatever you want,” his fingers don’t let up, and he looks mesmerized by how slick and easy he slides in and out. “Keep askin’ nice like that and I’ll give ya anything.”
Adding a third finger, he starts to fuck into you in earnest, ramming against something deep inside you as his palm slaps repeatedly against your clit. You see stars. Your vision begins to blur, and you’re positive you’re moaning louder than you should be this late at night, but you can’t focus on anything else but the wet squelching of your pussy around him. 
You should probably feel at least a little ashamed, but your warming cheeks have nothing to do with the noise and everything to do with the wrecked, stuttered moans in your ear, and Joel’s cock rutting into your ass in time with his fingers.
He's finally losing his composure. That careful self-restraint he's tried so hard to maintain, slowly but surely being dismantled. He clearly doesn’t care anymore, and he wants you to know it.
"Feel that? S'what ya do to me,” he grits through his teeth, his head dropping to your shoulder to watch as he smears precum messily across your skin. You unintentionally squeeze his fingers at his words, and he groans raggedly. "Fuckin'...tight—Christ, ya just keep gettin' tighter. Think m’gonna fit?"
You shake your head furiously, already feeling too full around his fingers, but your body betrays you, grinding down onto his cock before you can stop yourself. He exhales sharply at your reaction, bucking into you a little harder than he means to, and for a moment, you think maybe he likes the idea that he's too big for you. That your pussy's just too tight to take him right now.
That little red light still gleaming next to the ever-observant mechanical eye in front of you would probably love to witness that. A filthy, intimate image of you caught between intense pleasure and pain, forever preserved.
"No?” he murmurs, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “S'okay, baby, we'll make it fit. Don't'chu worry."
It hits you like a freight train, your second orgasm catching both of you by surprise and knocking the wind completely out of you. He wrenches his fingers out of your heat so he can wrap his arms tightly around you, keeping you from knocking over the camera as you writhe in his lap. It's overwhelming, somehow even more intense than the first, but the sensitivity sets in quicker.
Your nails dig sharply into his arms, and he hisses in a breath behind you. You're scared you might be hurting him, but you're having trouble controlling your limbs as immense amounts of dopamine flood your system, so you scrabble against the damp sheets instead.
Fuck, you can’t. It's too much. He’s still moving beneath you, the slide of his cock against your skin made easier by the slick dripping between your legs, and you’re not even sure he realizes he’s doing it. You want to do this for him so badly, but you're not sure how much more you can take. 
One more. You can take one more. Then, he's yours.
Sensing your discomfort, he holds you through it, lets you ride it out until you’re whimpering softly in his arms. But all he offers is a brief, sweet moment of respite before his fingers return to your cunt. He mindfully avoids your clit as he slowly sinks two fingers back inside you, and, now, even you can feel how tight you are. Each one of his knuckles catches on your entrance and rubs you purposefully, if not a little painfully.
"How's that feel, baby? Talk to me.”
It aches. It’s so much. It’s not enough. The warring sensations between your legs intensify the deeper he plunges into you, but, this time, the sensitivity doesn’t ebb. Instead, it amplifies everything. You can feel him keenly, sweat and oppressive heat pooling everywhere your bodies connect, and you melt into it. Into him. 
"S'good...keep—," you accidentally clench around him, and your breath hitches at the dull throb that wracks your lower half, "—k-keep going. Want more.”
“Fuck. Such a good girl...so fuckin' good,” he breathes heavily behind you, grunting his pleasure into your shoulder every time your hips try to escape insistent strokes. It's not just the steady grind of his cock between your ass cheeks that’s getting him off. You can see the playful sparkle in his eyes on the screen, regardless of how small his image is. He's enjoying the chase. 
You think he could even cum like this, playing this dangerous game with you. It's then that you realize you like it, too. You both know how close you are to earning your reward, so agonizingly near, you can taste it. And he can feel you around his fingers, tensing and relaxing, beginning to adapt to the unbearable soreness as your orgasm quickly approaches.
"Almost there, baby. S'a lot, I know, but you're takin' it so well,” he groans encouragingly. You can hear the subtle anticipation in his voice. He’s a wreck behind you, all but fucking into your skin as he adds a third finger and increases his speed. You let out a pained moan together at the resistance. "Hurts, huh? Lemme make it better, pretty girl. Tell me what ya need."
“M-my clit, please…please,” you beg him. Politely, nicely, kindly, whatever he wants. It’s still swollen and rubbed raw despite how wet you’ve been all night, but, fuck, you need it. Just a gentle touch would be enough to send you over the edge. That’s all it’ll take.
And that’s exactly what he gives you. Three barely-there swirls with his thumb, and you’re screaming, cumming around him so hard, you’re almost worried you’ll break his fingers. Your spasming floor muscles are unforgiving, convulsing violently as you cream into the palm of his hand, but this time he doesn’t wait for it to subside. 
The internal pressure suddenly disappears and everything tilts on its axis. You’re being shifted, lifted higher by two strong arms encircling your waist, and something big—god, it feels huge—nudges at your abused hole. Joel’s speaking, but whatever he’s saying is too difficult to make out over the blood roaring in your ears. It sounds urgent. Impatient. He sounds needy.
He lowers you just a hair, and the stretch around his tip feels impossible. You were right. He's not going to fit, and the thought makes you want to cry. He has to. You need him to.
"...baby...baby," his voice finally cuts through the fog. He's shaking, trembling like a leaf all around you, but refusing to move until you can hear him. You realize he's been asking you a question, and he needs your answer now. "Need'ta be inside you. Christ, I—m'not gonna be gentle. I...can't, I can't anymore. Gonna fuck you hard, s'that okay? Can ya take me?"
He gives you a little more, a preview of what's to come before you make your decision, and it fucking hurts. It's also the most incredible thing you've ever felt. 
More. You said you wanted more, and you meant it. You nod frantically, whining your assent, but it's not enough. He needs you to say it.
"Need'ya to use your words, baby. Yes?"
"Yes," you choke out around a sob, wriggling in his arms to get him to move faster. He exhales sharply through his nose, the frantic rhythm of his heartbeat pulsing in his chest and cock.
"Yes."
It's the last warning you get before he drives into you in a single, earth-shattering thrust, burying himself to the hilt. It feels like he's splitting you in half, tearing you right down the middle, and replacing every part of you with Joel, Joel, Joel. 
And he doesn't stop there, or give either of you time to adjust. He pistons into you, a wet thock-thock-thock of drenched skin against skin, and you accept it gratefully. You're delirious with the feeling of him stretching you past your limit. So full, you're so fucking full of him. It's the only thing grounding you to the present, your unyielding walls fighting to mold around him.
After hours of giving, he finally takes. He's all but snarling into your ear like a starved apex predator feasting on his prey, biting and sucking and bruising every inch of skin he can reach. Yet, he's still so full of praise for his girl. 
"Look at us, baby. Y'see that?" he growls, just loud enough for the mic to pick up the wrecked reverence in his voice. He takes your hand and guides it down until both sets of fingers are wrapped around where he's breaching your swollen cunt. You cry out at the thickness of him, the unimaginable sight of you stretched around him, gripping him. "Takin' me so well. Knew you could. Goddamn perfect woman, s'like you were made for it."
You're starting to believe it. That you were shaped in his image, created just for him. You want to return his affection, even a fraction of the praise he's given you this entire night, but you're past the capacity for speech.
The tension in your chest is making it hard to breathe, and every attempted reply is forced from your body as an incoherent string of stuttered moans and broken sobs. Nearly every other thrust punches your cervix, and you can already feel that telltale heat flooding between your legs.
You can't tell him all of the things you want to. So, you show him, instead. Your entire body goes lax in his arms except your hips and hands, and you rock forward on every upstroke, caressing his inner thighs with your thumbs. 
His lips press against the underside of your jaw as he whines desperately into your skin, subtle groans rising in frequency and volume the longer you continue your ministrations. You can feel his stomach tensing behind you, and his grip tightens like he's either trying to stave off his release or anchor himself for when he inevitably erupts. He's so fucking close to the edge, now, you can tell.
He can, too. But he needs you to get there first. 
Your hips are already starting to buck into his, and he takes that as the go-ahead to give you more. A sign that your body can handle everything he has left. His arms unravel from around you, and he slows his pace to a deep, heady grind that sets your body ablaze. 
He snakes one hand up your stomach to cup a breast while the other drops to rub sloppy circles into your overstimulated bundle of nerves, and you cry out at the sudden onslaught of sensations. Your eyes dart to the camcorder as it builds and builds, in your chest, at the base of your spine, and against that spot deep inside you that has you fluttering around him. You promised one more, and you're ready to put on a show it'll never forget.
But that's the opposite of what Joel wants. He delivers a sharp slap to your clit to get your attention.
"Look at me, baby. Don't look at the camera," he grits out. You whine, turning your head to face him, your expression pleading with him to keep doing that. He acquiesces with a smirk, slapping it again, purposefully and repeatedly to punctuate his demands. 
"Ya look at me when you cum, alright?" 
Slap. 
"Nowhere." 
Slap. 
"Else." 
His hand collides with your cunt a little harder, and even he moans at the contact. 
Slap.
"Ya don't close your eyes, ya don't look away. Wanna see those pretty eyes when I fill you up."
He releases your breast to grip your chin between his thumb and index finger, holding you in place.
"C'mon, pretty girl. Cum for me."
Then, his assault really begins. He jerks into motion, his hips slamming into yours frantically, matching the sweet, torturous pace of his fingers' rough touch. 
Everything goes fuzzy. You feel its steady approach, a surprisingly gentle wave that trickles from where the head of his cock meets your depths, past every sensitive pressure point to where you're gushing onto his coarse curls. But, as it peaks, you barely feel anything at all. A beat of numbness that makes you believe maybe that was all you had left in you.
A moment later, there's euphoria. You're cumming so hard, your vision blacks out, and all you can sense is your bottom half locking down and Joel sobbing into your shoulder while he empties into you, just like he promised.
He fucks you through it, quiet whimpers and murmured praise flowing uncontrollably from his lips. He tells you how tight you are, how your pussy's choking his cock and milking him dry. How good you've been and how perfect you are. He says all of it just for you, but the camera hears it, too.
For a while, he thrusts into you lazily, savoring his sensitivity and sighing through your final aftershocks. Maybe it's punishment for everything he put you through. Or maybe he just likes the syrupy pain of it. Either way, his girth nestled inside you is comforting now that you're both loose-limbed and pleasantly sticky with each other's release. 
He lets out a disappointed grunt when he eventually softens and slips out, right around the time your vision returns and the brain fog starts to clear. The flashing red light at the foot of the bed catches your attention again, and you're struck with a sudden idea. One last thing you want him to have on tape. 
Sliding haphazardly off his lap, you position yourself on your hands and knees, the camera situated with the perfect view of your core. You peek behind you, shooting a sly smile at the lens before you part your folds, allowing a thick glob of cum to leak out of your swollen cunt and drip down to your clit. Before it can fall to the sheets below, you gather up the mess with your fingers and shove it right back inside you, where it belongs.
Joel groans heavily in response, and his body finally gives out, collapsing against the headboard. You can't help but laugh, exhausted and sated, close to collapsing, yourself. Crawling back on top of him, you wrap your limbs around his neck and waist, and crash your lips messily into his.
As he returns your kiss with sleepy enthusiasm, he tugs you down flush against his chest. His hands slide down your sides to teasingly squeeze your ass, and you pull away with a gasp, intent on teasing him right back, but the bright grin on his face gives you pause. 
Now that your head is clear and you're starting to recover, you remember everything that led to this. That, after too many agonizing weeks, you finally got to have him again, in the flesh and in ways you never have before or thought you ever could. And you'll get to relive it over and over, as many times as you need on those lonely nights when he's not there to take care of you.
"I'm glad you came over," you smile softly, unwinding an arm from around his shoulders to brush back his messy curls. "I really missed you."
His grin widens, and he melts into your touch. God, he's...baffling. A total enigma. You wonder how you'll ever reconcile this man with the one on film, but, then, his eyes soften and it becomes clear. Both men love you. Both are Joel.
"Missed you, too, baby. Y'got no idea how much," he says earnestly and with so much tenderness.
"I think I got the picture," you snort affectionately, leaning down to brush your lips against his.
You kiss him again, and your tangling bodies knock over the camera just as the dead battery indicator flashes twice on the screen, then cuts to black.
thanks for reading!
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southislandwren · 2 years
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oh congrats to me for being unanimously elected secretary for [redacted] club and also lowkey the publicist because i cant just stay in my fucking lane i guess. yay responsibility but more importantly now my friends HAVE to hang out with me at least twice a month
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gyuscoquetteribbon · 2 months
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^᪲᪲᪲ what the world has to offer
SYNOPSIS: you were supposed to be home about thirty minutes ago. mingyu doesn't know why you aren't home yet and all his calls are left unanswered and his texts, delivered, but not read.
PAIRING: mingyu x gn!reader
GENRE: fluff, established relationship
WORD COUNT: 1.1k
notes: this is pretty self indulgent y'all also also omg first written piece that i've posted for the world to see in 4 years???? also im not very satisfied with how i ended this so my bad y'all but hopefully i get to write more in the coming weeks !!
hpr btw
'i'm close by, i'll be there in five mins !!!'
going by your last text, you should've been home about thirty minutes ago. needless to say, mingyu was beyond worried, pacing back and forth in your shared kitchen while he also he kept an eye on the boiling pasta.
'y/n.'
delivered.
'y/n why aren't you answering my calls???'
delivered, yet again.
delivered, but not read.
mingyu's anxiety, which had picked up upon the ten minute mark, only increased as all his texts were left unopened and unanswered.
the pasta had finally come to a boil. as mingyu turns the stove off, a soft tune fills the otherwise empty house.
his phone was ringing.
mingyu goes to pick his phone up, his speed only picking up when he sees your name illuminating on the phone screen. he attends your call, ready to chide you as he adjusts his phone so that you could see his (rather upset) face.
"y/n, why the fuck won't you—"
"i don't think i'm coming home tonight," you cut him off.
mingyu raises an eyebrow. he knew exactly why you were late the moment he saw you sat, leaning against a wall that looked much like the wall of the entrance to your apartment complex.
you angle your phone towards your lap, and there it was. the reason why you weren't home yet.
laying down cozily on your lap was a sleeping cat, pearly white fur with specks of dust and brown spots. if mingyu was right the stray was probably—
"i think he was abandoned," you pull him away from his thoughts, gently swiping your fingers over the cats ear that was cut at the tip, indicating it was spayed either by a rescue team or its previous owner. your free hand goes to cradle its head as it tips back.
a soft smile falls on mingyu's slightly chapped lips, his eyes gazing at his screen with so much love. he leans closer to the camera. "you don't even look at me with this much love," mingyu jokes, causing you to chuckle softly, "i'll bring him something to eat yeah?"
you nod and allow mingyu to cut the call. a shiver runs down your spine while you wait for your boyfriend to come down to join you. it was a particularly chilly evening. as you wait for mingyu, you watch the cat as its body rises and falls in a gentle rhythm. you had placed your woolen scarf over the cat earlier, when it had fallen asleep, afraid that it might be too cold for him. you sit there, wondering how confused the cat must have felt upon being thrown into the streets to fend for itself after being sheltered for so long. you felt sorry. the world is too cruel, you think to yourself.
"hi," mingyu's voice pulls you out of your thoughts. you lift your head to look up at your grinning boyfriend, the scarf wrapped around his neck doesn't hide his sharp canines shining under the dim light of the lamppost.
"hi," you whisper back as mingyu squats down across you. with all the sudden commotion, the cat stirs awake, sleep eyes blinking up at the new figure before him. "he's awake," you note, eyeing the cat cautiously, praying that the presence of another person doesn't scare him.
the cat sits up immediately, the scarf draped over his body, slipping onto the ground. its eyes land on the small tin of cat food which mingyu had bought along. good thing mingyu had bought a bunch of those since you have a habit of feeding strays in your area whenever you come across one.
you loved cats. mingyu knew that much. going out on walks with you almost always meant that you'd both would have to stop somewhere in the side of a road because you came across a stray cat. sometimes, you'd stop mid conversation if you see one, rushing towards it, muttering a soft "look! cat!" mingyu doesn't mind, though.
in fact, it was this quality of yours that made him fall so deeply in love with you. despite the pain the world had given you, love was all you ever gave back. that too with a big grin on your face. when you'd run towards a stray cat mid-conversation, you'd miss the fond smile that'd fall on mingyu's lips. when he'd go shop for groceries, you'd miss the absent-minded smile that'd paint his lips when he'd inevitably walk down the aisle containing pet food. when he'd see you sat beside your potted plant, talking for hours about anything and nothing at all while a slow song plays in the background, you'd miss the way he'd look at you, with hearts in his eyes.
they can hear you. it helps them grow better, you had told him.
once again, you had missed the way he was smiling at you. "or so it seems." a puff of air briefly forms in front of mingyu's mouth as a chuckle escapes his lips. the cat jumps out of your lap and approaches the can of food cautiously, almost as if it'd disappear if he'd look away. gently, mingyu pushes it closer towards the cat, assuring that the food is, in fact, for him.
you sit on your knees, your freezing hands falling on your lap as the cat takes his first few bites, his entire face fitting into the can. when he lifts his head, his overgrown whiskers are coated with minced meat. you and mingyu coo softly as the cat looks up at the two of you with his minced meat clad fur and whiskers.
you laugh, your eyes crinkling at the sides. you sounded so beautiful. music that mingyu wishes was only reserved for his ears; for him to listen to and cherish. but alas, the world knows your name.
"you've taken quite a liking towards him," mingyu points out.
you look at your boyfriend, "i wish we could take him home." an unsaid plea.
mingyu laughs softly, reaching forward to gently pat your head, "i'm free tomorrow. i'll pick you up from work and we both can take him to get vaccinated, alright?" he smiles, mirroring your own beaming smile, "i'm sure bopeul would like a friend or two when we go visit my family when i get a break."
"and, i'm sure dollop would love bopeul too," you say.
mingyu raises a brow, "is that what we're naming him?"
"yes."
"dollop it is then," he smiles, reaching down to gently boop its snout.
you miss the way mingyu smiles at you when you aren't looking. but, you never miss the way he loves you. all the little ways he's shown his love. you've never once had to ask for something. he'd know.
maybe this was what the world had to offer for all the love you've given it.
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How You Turn My World; Chapter 1
Your day started with chaos, and my dear, it looks like it will continue to be chaos. But only time will tell. The Underground holds many surprises in store for you.
Characters; Grim, Lilia Vanrouge, Deuce Spade, Ace Trappola
Content; Gender-neutral reader, cat shenanigans, building the plot
Content Warnings; Swearing, illusion to marijuana but there is none
Word Count; 4.6 K
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |
Don't put my work into AI; I'll make sure you go to the Underground and don't return. Mwah mwah, kisses~
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Ah, the joys of cat parenthood. Days spent cuddling your little bundle of furry joy. That’s what your friends preached. That having a feline roommate was easy and rewarding. That you would benefit by having a cute and fuzzy companion that didn’t demand much of anything. That you would love your little kitty friend like a child. Well, either your friends were liars with questionable senses of humour, or you drew the short stick when it came to choosing a furry companion. And there’s always the possibility of it being both, what with having Ace as a friend and all, but you just hoped it was just your shit luck and not that you had shit friends.
Seriously, though, what higher power did you manage to piss off to deserve the royal hobgoblin of a cat you have? He has shit and pissed in your plants on several occasions. Demolished every single curtain he laid eyes on like he had a personal vendetta against them. Stole your breakfast off your plate right as you were about to take a bite. Puked on your last pair of good white shoes, which still had stains on them because they wouldn’t come out. The cherry on top of it all though was that he insists on yowling and crying in the middle of the damn night for no good reason. Rudely awaking you from the dead of sleep because he demanded attention. With how loud he was, you were surprised that you hadn’t gotten a noise complaint from any of your neighbours… yet. But then again, you could hear the upstairs neighbours’ children screaming bloody murder every so often — what were their names, the Clovers? They were probably so used to it that they threw you a bone, or they didn’t want extra grey hairs from filing a complaint to the landlord. So maybe Grim wasn’t all that bad, but he was still a gremlin child. 
“MROWWWWWW!!!!!” Ah, so tonight was no different then. Grim had decided that you needed to be woken up before even the birds started to sing, needed to be yanked out of the land of dreams. That whatever had caught the attention of his singular brain cell was more important than you recharging so you don’t accidentally say the wrong thing to your boss. Since last time you had slipped up and called him dad, even though no one in their right mind would leave him alone with a rutabaga unattended, and he went on a two-hour long monologue about how much of a kind and generous person he was for you to see him as a father figure. And your salary wasn’t high enough, nor would it ever be, to deal with his eccentric and maddening behaviour.
Maybe, just maybe, if you ignored him and stared at the ceiling long enough he would stop his caterwauling and go to sleep. “MROWWWW!!!!!” Apparently not.
Just one night, ONE NIGHT, of peace and quiet. PLEASE. But you knew that if you didn’t get up soon, he would get up on the bed and put his fluffy butt in your face… like he did last night and the night before that. Sighing, you begrudgingly got out of your cocoon of warm, fluffy, blankets, and hoped you would soon be back in them after dealing with Grim. Hopefully, he was just complaining about his food bowl not being as full as he would like it.
What was the time anyways? Three-thirty in the morning? Ugh, Grim! What did Ace say about it, ah, yes, “Primetime witching hour. Demons and all sorts of creepies” yada yada yada. But you didn’t pay any mind to him, as his annoying smug look would taunt you in your mind even though he was probably sound asleep, blissfully asleep. Something that you wanted to be doing, but woefully you were not.
Stepping out into the main living space, you shot the grey fuzzball the stink eye. “What the hell do you want? You absolute gremlin!” You hissed through gritted teeth, very much annoyed with your brat of a fur child and wanting nothing more than to crawl back to bed, hell, even the loveseat would suffice.  
The offending feline just trilled at you in response, and his tail vibrated, happy that you had come out to see him. How is he so cute but so annoying? He rubbed against your legs before trotting off to one of his hidey holes, which also served as his nest of your stolen socks. He has a weird obsession with socks. But he popped back out, holding something in his mouth. Something small and fuzzy that didn’t look like any of his toys.
“Prowwww,” he dropped it at your feet as if saying that catching whatever it was, was the equivalent to paying his share of rent. Which, it was very much not.
You closed your eyes and pinched your brow. Please be one of his toys. PLEASE be one of his toys. You chanted to yourself in your mind and then opened your eyes. Unfortunately, it was not one of his toys. The small, fuzzy thing in question seemed to be a mouse or some other kind of rodent. It was too late (too early?) for this, and quite frankly you didn’t have the brain power to confirm whatever the hell it was. All you knew was that it looked like a mouse, therefore it was a mouse.
“Is this what you’ve been screaming about this whole time? A mouse,” you sighed. Shaking your head, you went to the bathroom, grabbing some paper towel so you could at least put it outside for something else to eat, or go back to nature in some other way. It was better than just being left to decompose in the communal garbage bin. When you came back out though, it was nowhere to be seen. Now, either Grim decided to eat it like a good kitty cat, or, with your luck, it was still alive and was now running amuck in your apartment.
Grim’s chattering was coming from the kitchen now, and he was up on top of the fridge. It was running amuck in your apartment, how lovely.
“Why, why, are you like this?! Get down from there!” You really didn’t have the energy for this.
Grim just blinked at you before his eyes dilated. He leapt down from his perch on the fridge and was pawing at a corner by the window. Looking down and you couldn’t make out anything on the floor. But you had the oh-so-brilliant idea to look up toward the ceiling. The ‘mouse’ was very much alive, and wasn’t a mouse at all, since it was flying around and banging itself against the corner.
“YOU CAUGHT A FUCKING BAT?!”
He had indeed caught a fucking bat. And bats were normally fine, when they were outside. Not when they’re flying around your apartment at three o’clock in the morning and your cat is losing his goddamn mind trying to catch it. So no, this was very much not fine. 
The bat was about as pleased as you were with this whole situation and kept on flinging itself against the glass of the window, desperately trying to get back outside. How the hell did it get inside in the first place? That could be pondered on upon at a later time, as the first priority was getting it back outside.
“Don’t fly towards my head, bat. I’m just trying to get you back outside. You’re a nice bat, right? Nice bat, nice bat,” you whispered in a non-threatening tone. Could the flying mammal understand what you were saying? Mostly likely not. Hopefully it understood that you, unlike your cat, were trying to help and did not want some fresh bat as your late night snack tonight.
After what felt like forever fuddling with the window to open with a broom in hand, just in case the bat decided to dive bomb your head, you finally got the cursed thing open. 
Grabbing Grim, who was still trying to catch the bat for a second time tonight, you got back to your bedroom and locked the door shut. You hoped that the bat would take the hint that it now had a path to freedom, but only time, and a bit of sleep, would tell. Slumping against the door frame, you sighed and looked over at Grim. He was playing with the door stop, the boing, boingg, boinggg sounds filling in the quiet. Whether it was to amuse himself, or to annoy you was a fifty-fifty bet.
Just as you were about to crawl back under the covers a string of anxiety connected in your head. Shit, did Grim get bit? DAMMIT GRIM! After leaving a somewhat desperate and tired call to your vet’s voicemail, alongside an apology for the late call (early call?), you peeked outside to see if the bat was still flying around. According to Google, the bat should be tested for rabies. You did not trust your no brain cell having fluff ball to know better than to get bit by a possibly rabid bat. But it was gone, so yet again, you were out of luck.
You had enough with today, even though it had just really begun. Pulling up the covers, you sighed in the dark warmth of your blanket cocoon. Grim was busying himself by trying to pounce on your feet, but you ignored him, falling back to sleep and hoping that the rest of your day wouldn’t bring any more shenanigans, migraines, or small flying mammals.
By some miracle, you managed to get Grim to the vet the very same day. Your boss agreed to let you work from home because he is ever so kind and generous… It did help that one of the other higher-ups nearly nagged off his ear upon hearing about the condition of your cat. Even through the phone you could hear it, and could only imagine the spectacle it must have been. Oh well, you had the day off and that is what mattered… but you would be lying if you said that you didn’t cough out a laugh just imagining the scene on the other side of the phone.
You were relieved, Grim on the other hand was not having it. To be fair, you did trick him into his crate with some tuna. He made his disdain known to all though by crying the entire way there. You almost felt bad for him, almost being the key word. 
“You have no one to blame for this but yourself, ya know.” You huffed at him, feeling your shit sleep all too well. “Crying about it won’t help you any.”
Grim let out a pathetic little mew. His little, bright, blue eyes being the only visible part of him, which peered out miserably from the crate. Caving to the kitty manipulation, you poked your finger in as a peace offering. Grim booped his nose to your finger and then proceeded to nibble on it; such a vicious beast.
The vet visit went as well as you could hope it could, as Grim only tried to maim the vet a few times. Hey, it was an improvement from last time, as he had actually peed on them. So yes, trying to maim was vastly better than seeing your figurative child pee on the doctor. You’re pretty sure your vet didn’t go through years of schooling and thousands of dollars into debt just to get peed on by your unruly cat. But Grim was won over by the offering of that cat gogurt, his nose and stomach betraying him. Note to self, stock up on some of that stuff.
The rest of the visit went on without a hitch; he had some blood drawn, got his booster shot for rabies, and even managed to squeeze in a bonus nail trim. There was no evidence of any bite or puncture marks, so Grim by some miracle, did indeed have enough brain cells not to get bit.
“Grim will have to be watched for about forty-five days,” the vet hummed, checking Grim’s chart. “Since you don’t have any other animals it shouldn’t be too difficult to keep him in quarantine. If you see any symptoms be sure to bring him back, just in case.” They gave you a tired smile, and then turned that smile towards their cantankerous patient. “And thank you for deciding not to pee on me this time, Grim. I’m not so bad, see?”
Grim swatted at them, which was his answer to the vet’s question. In Grim’s book, the vet was that bad.
Ignoring his attitude, as you would whenever you came across a screaming toddler and exhausted parent while doing your grocery run, you turned back to your vet. “Thank you, and sorry for Grim. If it makes you feel any better, he’s just as much as a gremlin child at home as well.” At least today went better than last time.
The vet chuckled goodheartedly, “Don’t worry about it, I have more unruly patients than little Grim here.”
Damn, they have seen some shit, haven’t they? … Maybe I should, I don’t know, bring them a gift basket next time I’m in? Or maybe a gift card for a spa day or something??? You should really get them something for the amount of dry cleaning they probably needed to do.
With the visit over, and Grim having a clear bill of health, you shoved him back into his carrier with zero decorum, closing the door as fast as possible before he could escape and try to hide behind the counter like he did last time. I know your tricks, cat. Speaking of bills, the one that was waiting for you at the front desk was enough for you to point an icy glare at your unruly ward.
“You’re lucky that I love you, asshole.” And much like the vet you too got a swat as your thank you. Wonder if this is what the Clovers feel about their children? At least their kids didn’t wake them up in the middle of the night with a bat they caught… You shook your head, moving past those thoughts, and hauled your wailing cat back home.
...
By the time you got back to your place, it was just a little past noon. The rest of your day was wide open, and you didn’t really have anything else to do, since taking Grim to the vet was the most urgent of your tasks. Your place could benefit from some tidying, since your boss had recently been demanding more as of late and has been even less useful than he usually was… which was saying something. Seriously, how does he have his position? It was baffling. You swore you could hear his monologue playing on loop in your head whenever you thought of the man, which you tried to keep to a minimum for your own sanity… whatever little of it still remained that is.
Shaking your head to rid the annoying voice, you put on your favourite playlist and got to work. You took your time, putting away the dishes, vacuumed the main room, and even got rid of the dust on the high shelves. But your place was small, so it didn’t take very long for you to tidy up, and deep cleaning could wait for another day when you had enough energy to mentally and physically deal with that undertaking.
You knew that your email probably had a few messages, but it could wait. You weren’t on the clock and therefore didn’t have to check it. Only do the stuff you’re required to do when you get paid, it makes your downtime way more enjoyable.
But, you were bored. The cleaning helped with it, but with the majority of it done and the more intense stuff waiting for another day, you had nothing else to do. And while doom scrolling through social media may fill in the time, it too, was boring, predictable.
… There were two people though who were the exact opposite of boring and predictable. And yes, they did give you your fair share of migraines and questioning your life decisions more than you usually do, they were your best friends. And you were in need of having a movie night with them.
Opening up the group chat, you typed in a message.
| The Responsible One | You guys down for a movie night at my place tonight?
And almost immediately, Ace replied.
| Ginger, derogatory | depends  | ya got fiid?
Deuce responded shortly after.
| Mama’s Boi | Yeah, I’m down | What time? | . . . | And what’s fiid?
|The Responsible One | How does 6 sound?
| Ginger, derogatory | IT WAS A TYOP | *TYPO | I MEANT FOOD | F O O D
| Mama’s Boi | 6 works for me
| The Responsible One | I took a screenshot of that btw love you Ace | Thanks Deuce for actually giving me an answer. | What FIID do you guys want?
| Ginger, derogatory | FUCK YOU | … but yeah 6 works 4 me | any is cool with me
| The Responsible One | Yes yes, fuck you too Ace | Bring your own snacks it is then | See you guys at 6!
That gave you about ninety minutes to hide your good snacks, since the last time, Ace had made himself too comfortable and ate all your fancy treats that you paid way too much for. But like they say, you deserve to ‘treat yoself’ … Ace still owed you for those snacks though. They were fucking expensive, prick.
Ninety minutes didn’t take very long, but you managed to hide some of the mess that you hadn’t tackled in your bedroom; it could stand to wait. And the first of your dork friends arrived right on time, count on Deuce trying to be punctual… even if he was panting like he had run a marathon to make it.
“You know,” you sighed, “you didn’t have to sprint here.” You grabbed a glass, filled it with some ice water, and handed it over to your flushed and heaving friend. Please don’t pass out on me. “It’s not a race.”
Deuce took the glass and downed it, still catching his breath. He lifted up the tote bag he was carrying, “Mom made brownies.” A series of coughs escaped him, but he gave you a bashful smile and showed off the multiple Tupperware containers filled to the brim with still warm chocolatey divineness. “Didn’t want them to get cold! Oh! She also made extra for you too!”
He is such a sweetheart… but he’s also pretty dense at times, still a sweetie though. You could have just warmed them back up in the microwave — yes, they weren’t the same as fresh from the oven, but still — you didn’t have the heart to tell Deuce that though. He looked so proud that he made it on time and that the brownies were still warm. What did you do to deserve Deuce as a friend? 
“Also,” he fished around the tote bag, “I brought extra popcorn, since we ate all of yours last time.” And he pulled out an unopened bag of popcorn, the bashful smile turning bright.
Deuce took a step forward, but stopped and backpedalled, taking off his shoes. After he set them neatly by the door, he made his way to the kitchen, and set all of his assorted belongings on the meagre counter space. Once he unloaded the tasty cargo, he made his way over to your loveseat, which had seen better days, and sat down, getting comfortable.
He was looking at you, and there was a little crease in between his eyebrows. Deuce only wore that look when he was worried. “Are you feeling okay? You seem a bit… off.” 
You gave him a tired smile, “Meh. Tired, stressed, not enough money. You know, the usual.” You noticed that his frown was only deepening, so you took a seat next to him and patted his shoulder. “Seriously, Deuce, I’m okay. Plus you got enough on your own plate without worrying about me. I’m going to be fine.”
Deuce pursed his lips, but let out a long sigh, accepting your answer without much fuss. You were capable of dealing with whatever it was, he knew that. You were one of the most capable, and stubborn, people that he knew. You would be fine in the end. “Whose turn is it to pick the movie this time?” He asked, stretching out, trying not to bump into you.
“Hmm, your turn actually,” you hummed. “But–”
Bzz! Bzzz! BZZZ! Someone was buzzing your door, repeatedly pushing at the button. Only one person you know did that. BZZZZZZZZ! And he wouldn’t let up until you answered the door.
Groaning, you got out of your spot and peaked through the peephole. On the other side was none other than Ace, who’s leg was bouncing and he kept on pushing your damn buzzer.
You only opened the door when he decided to lean on it, making him almost fall… almost. Maybe next time would be the day where you would see him eat dirt. “Happy you could join us on this lovely evening,” you drawl, doing a little bow.
Ace rolled his eyes at you, “Seriously? Feeling petty tonight I see.” He too took off his shoes, since the last time he wore them in and tracked in mud from outside, you made him clean it up. He learned his lesson that day, and really didn’t feel like cleaning your floor again.
You smiled at him, “Yeah, yeah I am~” You dropped the smile and went back to your comfy spot beside Deuce. “Also,” you turned around right as Ace was about to plunder your fridge. You glared at him, and he backed off, giving you a sheepish look. “Don’t even think about stealing my food, there’s popcorn and you have food at your home. Unless you want to start paying for my groceries, stick to what’s on the counter.”
Closing the fridge, Ace busied himself by making himself some popcorn, and sneaking a brownie or two in his mouth as he waited for the microwave to finish making his treat. While he was busy in the kitchen, you and Deuce were slowly going through the seemingly endless catalogue of movies. 
“What are we even watching tonight? There’s no special occasion,” Ace mused, sitting on the counter, swinging his legs back and forth. “Action? Horror? Sci-fi? Perhaps,” he paused and made a kissy face, “romance?~”
You stared at him, until he dropped the kissy face. “Never do that again,” you deadpanned, turning back to the screen. “Found something?”
Deuce was hovering over a title, Labyrinth. “Can we watch this? Mom said it was one of her favourites when she was a kid.”
Ace plopped into the armchair, and started chowing down on his fresh popcorn. “Dude, your mom probs just had the hots for, uhhh, Jared? Or whatever his name is.”
You threw a pillow at him, but missed unfortunately, and Ace flipped you off. “First off, Ace, his name is Jareth not Jared. And yeah, we can watch it,” you said, stretching back and getting into prime comfortable blob position. Oh yeah, you weren’t getting back up. 
Once Deuce got up and brought some snacks back in, you started the movie. And damn, these brownies are divine. You really needed to ask Ms. Spade for her recipe. The popcorn was decent, overall meh, but the brownies! THE BROWNIES!!!
You all settled down after being rationed your snacks, and you pressed play. Ace and Deuce both nearly choked on popcorn when Jareth appeared.
“WHY ARE HIS PANTS SO TIGHT?!” They both choked in unison. 
You just rolled your eyes and ignored them, trying to focus on the movie. Other than you nearly having to do the Heimlich manoeuvre on the both of them, the movie continued without incident, until a certain gremlin decided to start crying right as Magic Dance began playing. Seriously Grim, must you choose the most inopportune time to act like Toby does in the movie? But that’s life with a cat.
You paused the movie and looked at Deuce. You were in prime comfortable blob mode, you weren’t getting up. Deuce patted you on the shoulder and went to go see what on Earth Grim was screaming about. Ace just continued to scarf back brownies, thank goodness you hid some away before he got here, or else you wouldn’t have any come tomorrow.
But Deuce came running back out of your room, since that was where Grim was. And you were about to question why he looked like he’d just seen a ghost when something blurred right past him; something small, fuzzy, and flying.
The damn bat is back?! Yeah, you definitely felt like you were cursed.
Now, you could either get up and deal with the bat, since Deuce was just trying to shoo it outside the window with a mop and Ace was screaming much like Grim was, or you could stay warm and comfy and hide under the blanket, pretending that this wasn’t your waking reality…
Option B was really tempting right now, to be honest. Sighing, you got up, massaged your temples to collect yourself, before arming yourself with a broom yet again. Grim has his rabies vaccine, you don’t, so you weren’t taking any chances.
“WHY IS THERE A BAT IN YOUR APARTMENT?!” Ace hissed, ducking as the bat swooped near him.
You opened the window right open, almost threatening to take it off its bearings, “Because the universe hates me, that’s why!” Was it dramatic? Yes. Did it contain a seed of truth? Yes. So that’s what you went with. Was it really an exaggeration though? In the past twenty-four hours it really felt like the universe was sending you a personal ‘Fuck You ♡ ' letter with a kiss mark on the envelope.
You and Deuce tried to work together as a team to coax the bat outside. Come on, the window is wide open. Come on bat, get your fuzzy ass out of my place. 
All that was happening though, was some scene that belonged in a Three Stooges act. With Ace and Grim screeching — yes they counted as one collective unit — Deuce trying his best, but not getting anywhere, and you feeling like you were about to explode from the stress and noise. Even on an impromptu day off, you didn’t get a break, not really.
Getting whisked away by the Goblin King is looking real appealing right now. The bat swooped down close to you, and your instincts kicked in and you swung at it, making it crash land into your coffee table, right into the popcorn. And alongside the popcorn getting spilled everywhere, there was also a poof of green sparkles.
When the green sparkles subsided, there was a strange person with long black hair and red streaks, wearing something that looked straight out of a Ren Faire, and he was standing on your table. The strange man looked straight at you, and you looked back, blinking fast. Did Ms. Spade give us a different kind of brownie? Or is this actually happening?
He snapped his fingers, and you watched as he slowly disappeared into another poof of green sparkles. You were backing up, since hey there was a stranger in your place out of nowhere, but thanks to your shit luck, you tripped over your own feet, tumbling into them. And as the green poof subsided, both you, and the stranger, were nowhere to be seen. Leaving a very confused Ace, Deuce, and Grim to wonder what the hell happened to you.
And honestly? You were thinking the same. Where the FUCK am I?!
...
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Tags; @busycloudy, @eynnwwyjth, @identity-theft-101, @ithseem, @krenenbaker, @ryker-writes, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii
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Author's Note; And I'm finally showing this to the world, after months of collecting dust in my Google Docs. I have no idea how long this fic will go on for, and the length may be dictated by how much feedback and interaction this gets, so yeah. General rating for this is Teen but might change in the future; I won't tag people if that happens though, cuz, yeah.
If you enjoyed this story, and want to read more of my stuff while I slowly work on more installments to this fic, check out my masterlist! Please ignore any spelling mistakes, I write and die with no beta.
2K notes · View notes
obeymematches · 14 days
Note
Hello~! Can I request a headcanon for an Mc that can’t sleep alone? Like they feel much safer sleeping next to someone. Thank you so much and take as much time as you need~! ☺️
ohhh i know how you feel, i also prefer sleeping with someone 💓 thank you for sending in a request & inspiring me, i had fun writing this💫
💤Sleeping together💤
Lucifer:
He is awake when you go over to his room. He didn't have intentions to sleep yet but he wants what is best for you. It is your secret mission to get him to do what is best for him. He gets addicted to sleeping with you also. Even if he has evening plans with Diavolo / he seriously has to work late he insists you stay in his room & he joins when he can.
Nothing could make me more at ease than feeling you sleep by my side.
Mammon:
Guess what MC he can't sleep without you either!! Whew good thing you two are on the same page!! He must hold you with his arms AND his legs to fall asleep. After that he'll toss and turn though. Gets super sad if you tell him no sleeping together tonight. He would never do this to you!! 😩
Are ya comfy MC? Wanna stroke my hair? Just a little?
Leviathan:
Quickly becomes addicted to your warmth surrounding him through the night. Never let go pls. You are a very good influence on his sleep schedule! Doesn't get as clingy as Mammon but damn he is very close to that level. Must get a bigger blanket so you stop stealing it so easily!
There there MC! My only duty now is to keep you warm!
Satan:
Oh you won't get him to sleep when he doesn't want to so easily. He lets you sleep on his bed but he isn't in a rush to join you in dreamland; yes he does lay next to you but he is still busy reading! Loves to cuddle even though you might not remember much of it the next day. I think he doesn't complain if you sleep together often as long as you are not demanding it.
Nights with you are the most peaceful. Thank you  for being with me MC.
Asmodeus:
Gotcha! He suggests sleeping together before you do! Never ever complains if you want to spend the night! Free to cuddle any time of the day if you want to nap!
My dove, resting with you calms me down every night. You look cute when you are sound asleep, did you know?
Beelzebub:
Blushes at the suggestion of helping you sleep solely by being next to you. Very careful not to be too heavy for you! Would never dare to suggest it but gladly sleeps with you every night if that's what you wish!
MC.... I love you so much, being your pillow is my pleasure!
Belphie:
Honestly he doesn't mind if you randomly visit him through the night to sleep with him. If he likes you he is going to make sure you have the best sleep of your life and you become addicted to him quickly.
That's it MC, now close your eyes and take a rest. I'll be guarding your dreams.
Diavolo:
Ah his lonely ass is craving your company 0-24 so honestly he would never refuse sleeping together. Has to make sure he has the most comfortable beddings on! Please cuddle him like his life depends on it, he is going to devote himself pretty soon if you keep it going!
I can't believe I was missing out on this feeling... somehow your presence makes me feel safe. I don't understand how either.
Barbatos:
Hmmm I think he likes his independence but how could he refuse you? You can rarely sleep together though so he isn't going to be the best candidate for this request unfortunately :( If you do though it's going to make you view him in a very different light; he rarely lets anyone see hin so vulnerable!
On one condition, we can sleep together. No taking pictures, you can only close your eyes and sleep!
Solomon:
Ohhh a feeling he was longing for for so long... and now it happens every night. He probably doesn't go to sleep early though so he just joins when he is ready to sleep. It is his pleasure to cuddle you through the night!
I could really get used to this, MC. Shall we do this tomorrow as well?
Simeon:
Okay one step at a time! First just cuddling on the couch, then on the bed, only after that you might sleep together! Doesn't complain though and feels bad for making you wait so long. Loves to caress your back as you're cuddled up to his chest!
This feeling.... do you feel it too, MC? I never want this moment to end.
375 notes · View notes
doitforbangchan · 3 months
Text
All Bark and No Bite 11
Masterlist /Series masterlist
Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8
ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe
Previous - Next
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Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, reader is a CRYBABY, fluff, angst, virgin!reader,  cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!) 
Chapter warnings: Smut, unprotected sex (p in v), kissing, suggestive, crying, cursing, fingering, biting, hair pulling, dubcon?, subspace, HardDom!Chan, SoftDom!Felix, fluff, angst, anxiety, manipulation, unbalanced power dynamics, and probably more but idk let me know This one ain't as sweet as the last few
WC:6.8k
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In a strange turn of events, it seems Chan woke up before you did this time. Not that you were complaining; especially when you awoke to him running his warm fingers over your mating mark absentmindedly, feeling the indented skin. Every little touch felt like electricity coursing through you, as if the zaps were bringing you back to life. Overall it was a very pleasant way to wake up. 
His hand that wasn’t touching your neck had his phone and he was listening to music with one ear bud in his ear on a low volume. You let out a low ‘hm’ letting him know you were awake now. 
“Good morning, my omega.” Chans voice was raspy from sleep. He must have only just woken up not long ago himself. He didn’t say anything else, just held you tighter.
Moments like this were Chan's favorite. Being able to wake up to you; his mate, his omega, the love of his life - there was nothing better. He hadn’t realized how lonely he had been before having you here. He never felt as complete as he did right in this moment. 
“Can I listen with you?” You mumbled sleepily. You wanted to hear what your alpha listened to. Wordlessly he took his other earbud and slipped it into your own ear. ‘Give me love’ By Ed sheeran was playing through the bud, the sweet melodies flooding your senses. 
‘Give a little time to me or burn this out
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around
All I want is the taste that your lips allow
My, my, my, my, oh give me love’
It had been so long since you had heard this song, you used to sing this all the time in your room when you were younger and waiting to fall hopelessly in love. It felt fitting that now you were here laying in bed with your soulmate, who you had fallen hopelessly in love with. 
Chan began to sing along softly to the music playing, serenading you quietly.
‘Maybe I should let you go
You know I'll fight my corner
And that tonight I'll call ya
After my blood is drowning in alcohol
No I just wanna hold ya’
The alpha squeezed you a little tighter after he sang those words, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. Your heart fluttered at the action. The two of you laid there together for probably an hour, just enjoying each other's company while he sang each song that played.
Eventually though, you both had to get up as there was work to be done. For Chan anyways. You had to make breakfast and get ready to leave with Jisung and Felix. Chan had a lot to do today himself. He had been neglecting his actual job in his family business and if he was going to take another day off tomorrow to go camping then he definitely needed to make all his calls and emails today. 
“Are you excited to do more shopping with the betas today?” the alpha asked as you were both getting out of bed. 
“Yes. I am.” You seemed apprehensive. 
“Buuuuut?” He pressed, knowing something was troubling you. 
“I just.. Feel bad.. About spending more of your money. I didn’t do anything to deserve you guys spending all this money on me.”  You were avoiding eye contact with him as you went to brush your teeth. 
Chan stopped you before you could enter his bathroom, arm out to block you. “Baby.” you kept your head down not wanting to look at him, now that you had embarrassed yourself again. When you didn’t acknowledge him he let out a frustrated growl, “Omega, look at me now.” you had no choice but to look at him, he used a command on you.
 You were lucky that was all he did, he had wanted to grip your hair and make you look at him forcefully. Chan had a problem when people didn’t listen to him, especially his omega.  Some would say he thrives off of non-sexual dominance. They would be correct. The alpha was used to getting his way practically his whole life. He would forgive you now, you were still learning. 
Instead of yanking your hair he settled for petting it softly. “I’m sorry my love, I didn’t intend to be mean to you.” At his gentle words and even gentler touch you forgot about the command being used on you, leaning into his hand. “You need to understand that my money is your money. In fact this whole packs money is yours to spend as you please. The other boys would agree with me. Ok?”  He waited for your words of agreement and when they didn’t come he egged them on. “You wanna be good for us right? Good omegas listen to their alphas.” 
You wanted to be good for him so badly, really it’s all you wanted. There was a glimpse of panic on your face at the prospect of upsetting your mate. “ I’ll be good! I promise!” You nodded rapidly. 
He gave you his signature boyish grin, dimples on display, then leaned in and gave you a kiss, nipping your lip as he pulled back. “I know you will, Baby. You’re the best Omega I know.” You purred at his praise, finding it addicting. “We gotta get a move on, lots to do today if we’re going camping tomorrow.” He let you go into the bathroom to do your business and such. 
You went to pick out an outfit for today, deciding to sport some jean shorts and a basic black tank top. After that you had a quick shower and did light makeup. Simple but you felt cute nonetheless. 
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When you both finally made your way down to the main floor you found Minho and Changbin sat at the kitchen island making a list of what you would need for camping tomorrow. More like Minho had roped Changbin into helping him because the beta was a planner and liked to have things ready. 
“Finally! Hyung needs help deciding what to do for food  tomorrow and Saturday morning. Any suggestions?” Changbin exclaimed as he saw Chan, giving the older alpha pleading eyes. 
“Good morning to you too Changbin. Oh I slept great, thanks for asking.” Chan quipped sarcastically, and Changbin rolled his eyes with a groan of annoyance. 
“Good morning, baby. How did you sleep?” The younger alpha asked you, trying to get on his Hyungs nerves. He cackled when it worked, Chan letting out a huff. 
You giggled, “Morning, Binnie. I slept wonderfully. Thank you for asking.” 
“Yeah yeah good morning whatever, can we get back to this now?” Minho was getting frustrated, “We literally only have right now to think about this.” 
“Fine.” Changbin reached forward and grabbed you by the hips, laughing when you squealed, and setting you on his lap. “What do you think, baby? Any suggestions?” 
You leaned back against Changbins chest,  feeling the muscles behind you, head on his shoulder while you pondered. “Do you think we should do easy things? Like maybe bring a bunch of premade stuff like sandwiches and maybe breakfast burritos for the morning we can just wrap in foil and throw on the grill?” 
“That sounds like a great idea, omega.” Chan replied, leaning on the counter opposite you. 
“Yeah! To make it even easier we can place an order for them and pick them up from the diner in town before we leave tomorrow morning.” Changbin agreed, tickling your sides mercifully. He kissed the side of your head when you giggled at him, ignoring the throbbing in his pants caused by your squirming. “Smarty pants.” 
Minho nodded in agreement, writing down how many of each he approximated you would all need. “Ok so twenty of each.” 
“Twenty?! Why twenty of each, there are only nine of us!” You objected confused, looking at Minho as if he had grown a second head.
“Have you not seen how much these guys eat? Changbin himself could probably put away half of them if you’d let him.” He was looking back at you as if you were the crazy one. 
“Hey!” Changbin protested but didn’t fight too hard, knowing Minho was right. 
“Yeah Bin, you’ll probably end up eating both of yours and the rest of Felix’s like you always do.” Chan poked fun at the younger alpha. 
“What are we talking about? I heard my name.” right on queue Felix walked into the room you were all in. 
“We’re talking about the plans for tomorrow, trying to get things taken care of.” Minho sighed, standing from his seat. “Speaking of which, I need to make calls for these orders to be picked up in the morning and then get the other stuff together.” He seemed stressed as he walked away. 
“Is he ok?” You asked, worried for the beta. 
“Oh yeah he's fine, Min is a planner and likes to get things done in advance. He’s probably going to find Innie to make him help get all the camping stuff out of the garage.” Chan answered, taking an apple off the counter and taking a bite. 
At the sight of his apple you remembered your task, “ Do you guys want breakfast?” You went to hop down from Changbins lap but he only held you tighter against him, refusing to let you go. 
“Ji should be back any second with pasties and coffee. He wanted to surprise you baby. Annnnd now i’ve ruined it, fuck.” Felix cursed, looking remorseful at having spoiled the fun. 
Chan clicked his tongue in mock disappointment, shaking his head. “Way to go, Felix.” 
“Hey leave him alone, he's just a boy!” Changbin defended the beta playfully, you leaning into him and huffing in agreement. 
“Did somebody say Jisung?!?” A loud voice came from the front door, almost an announcement of his presence. A moment later the boy in question came sauntering in, sunglasses still over his eyes and holding a tray of coffee and a bag of pastries. 
“No.” Changbin laments, “Go away.” 
“Fine I guess you don’t want the cherry tart I got especially for you, Binnie.” Jisung made a show of wafting the bag up to his nose, “Mmmmm all for me then. Here is yours, my baby. A sweet treat for an even sweeter girl.” He handed you a chocolate croissant and a coffee. 
You felt your face heat up as you accepted the pastry. “Thank you Ji.” When Binnie was distracted making grabby hands at the bag that jisung had set down, you took the opportunity to slip off his lap. 
“Anything for you.” He grabbed your hand and yanked you closer to him. “Anyways, let's get this show on the road!” with his coffee in one hand and you in the other he set off towards the door. Chan held out a credit card for Jisung who happily snatched it. “Make sure she gets something nice. Our girl seems to have a problem with spending my money.” He winked at you as you passed. 
“Oh you know I have no problem spending daddy's money.” The beta cackled. 
“Wait for me!” Felix called, scooping his own items and following you out. 
“Bye baby!” Changbin yelled, crumbs flying out of his mouth. 
“Have a good time, omega.” 
“Bye Channie bye Binnie!” You called as you were going out the door.
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To say Eun was happy to see you again was an understatement. The second you walked into her shop she had a tight grip on you, hugging the life outta you. The older woman was unable to hold back tears at the sight of the bite mark on your neck, wailing about how happy she was for you and Chan and that the alpha couldn’t be luckier to have landed such a fantastic omega. You had reassured her you were in fact the lucky one. 
It took another half an hour of chatting with her before she finally brought you out some swimsuits to try on. You had picked out a few modest one pieces for yourself but her and the boys suggested (demanded) you try on their picks first, an array of bikinis. You had never worn a bikini before so trying them on and modeling them was making you nervous. 
You had chosen a basic white one to start. You figured you would start plain and work up to getting more comfortable. You thought it was cute but knew it wouldn't be the one.  Thus began you trying a few different ones until you found one you liked. It had been almost 20 minutes since you had gone into the dressing room and the beta boys were getting antsy waiting for you to come out. 
“Everything alright in there, baby?” The deep honey tones of Felix's voice called out to you. 
“Y-yeah.” you stuttered, debating whether or not to come out. “I’ve never- never worn a bikini before and I’m a little nervous.” you admitted. 
“If you’re really not comfortable you can try something else, we won’t be mad or disappointed.” He reassured you. 
You felt better at his words, taking a deep breath before pulling back the curtain and revealing yourself. 
Both Jisung and Felix felt their eyes widen and hearts stop at the sight of you. You had decided on a little purple bikini with stars on it. It was so you. The swimsuit fits you like a glove and goes perfectly with your skin tone. 
They both had been too busy admiring you to say anything and in turn their silence made you self conscious. “I knew this was a bad idea.” You mumbled, covering yourself with your arms and going to shuffle back into the fitting room.
“NO!” they yelled in unison looking at you in panic now. Felix tried to compose himself but Jisung did not, falling to the floor at your feet. 
“I’m sorry baby! You look so, so good we couldn’t help but stare!” He pleaded, his heart thumping wildly. 
Felix nodded in agreement, now more embarrassed than anything at his fellow betas' antics. 
“ Please don’t turn away from us. We didn’t mean to make you feel any negativity. We love the suit. It fits you so well!” 
“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” You asked skeptically, still covering yourself. 
“Baby, my baby, omega, believe me when I say this, if you don’t get that swimsuit I will literally drop dead.” Jisung was so serious from his place on the floor, not one hint of deception on his face. “I simply cannot go on living any longer knowing I will never again get to see your beauty in this bikini - which was made for you by the way- and soon I'll die. In fact even hearing you say it was a bad idea almost killed me on the spot.”
“Oh don’t be so damn dramatic!” Eun called out walking up to the three of you. “But you do look fantastic in that one, Y/n. It would be a real crime if you didn’t get it.” She winked. 
It seemed all three betas were rooting for this one so it seemed your fate was sealed. 
“I-if you’re all sure…” You trailed off, letting your arms fall to your sides now. 
“Never been more sure about anything, sweetheart.” Felix gave you his charming smile. 
You hummed, “Fine. I’ll get this one.” There was a round of cheers then Eun went to ring you up, adding a few more pieces she thought would suit you. 
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Felixs’ big errand was buying blue hair dye. Apparently he used to have blue hair but it's been a while and he’s ready to feel like himself again. He was too precious. You wondered if Chan would be ok with you dying your hair, figuring it wouldn't hurt to ask. Jisung tried to convince you to get some purple dye anyway and not tell him but you were too chicken shit to do something like that. 
“Do you wanna help me dye mine, baby? I would love your company.” Felix asked you, crinkling his eyes at you. 
Pulling back up to the house you found Jeongin, Minho and Seungmin outside putting some large camping items in the back of a truck. By the looks of it they had already loaded a grill and a few tents. Minho sure didn’t waste time. “There you are, now you can help too.” He eyed the younger boys. 
“Actually y/n and I have a few things to do.” Felix grabbed your hand as you got out of the car, his other hand holding your bags. “Sungie would love to help you tho, i'm sure.”
“What?! Traitor!” Jisung complained but was quick to change his tune when Min gave him the evil eye. “I mean, yay packing.” 
“We all have to do our part. You included.” Jeongin snickered, handing the beta a bag to put in the car. “At least you didn’t have to make a store run like Hyun and Bin hyung.” 
“This was your idea! You should be doing all the work!” 
Felix pulled you along into the house, quickly to go undetected “come on before they rope us into helping.” he whispered. 
Both of you went up the stairs into Felix's bathroom after you dropped your bags off in your room. Passing Chan's office you could faintly hear the alpha in there on the phone, probably talking with a client. The fact that he works so hard so his pack could have the life they live was astounding. Chan really was a great alpha. 
Entering the bathroom Felix reached under the sink for plastic gloves for you to use, and set up the dye. You had helped your old best friend dye her hair a few times so the process was familiar to you. Thankfully his hair was already bleach blonde so you didn’t have to worry about trying to bleach it.  
You loved spending time with Felix. Really you loved any one on one time with the boys but you and Felix hadn’t spent time like this since your first day. That felt like so long ago when in reality had only been over a week. They say time flies when you're spending it with your loved ones. 
You were discussing what you wanted to plant in the greenhouse when you came back from camping. Cucumbers, pumpkins and peppers were at the top of your list, while Felix requested some carrots and spinach if you could find the room. In only a few hours you had finished dying his hair and had just helped him wash out the dye. He had chosen a beautiful blue for his hair. It seemed to compliment him perfectly. Now it seemed like he was representing who he truly was, with his hair being a clear sky and he himself was the sun. 
“You’re all finished! It looks so good on you Lix!” You were enthused, pleased with the finished product. 
“All thanks to you baby.” He pulled a blow dryer from under the sink and plugged it in. “Now I'm gonna dry it. Do you wanna help me style it?” Felix really just wanted to be around you more, he wanted to be selfish if only for a while. 
“Sure Lixie.” you beamed, reaching for the dryer. You were sitting on the bathroom counter while Felix stood directly in front of you. You turned it on a low setting and grabbed a brush in your other hand,  he leaned closer to you and came to stand between your legs.
 You began to dry and style his hair, neither of you saying anything now but it not being uncomfortable. In fact it was pleasant. Being close with him reminded you of the kiss he shared with you last night.  Not you nor he had brought up the kiss, and he also hadn’t kissed you since. ‘Maybe he regretted kissing me’ the thought weighed heavy on your mind. 
Little did you know it was the exact opposite. The only thing on Felix's mind right now was kissing you. He was just worried you hadn’t liked it since you didn’t say anything about it, but you also weren’t acting any different. He was so close to you he could almost taste you, remembering the way your lips did even for that brief moment. 
You finished with his hair and set down the tools on the countertop beside you. You were still facing him, afraid to break the silence or to move from your place in front of him. All you could do was focus on each other. 
Slowly and timidly, Felix leaned closer to you. You could feel his breath on your face and his scent get even stronger, and Felix gingerly let his lips find yours. Your eyes closed on instinct as you pressed yours to his in return. 
‘Finally’ your inner voice said. 
When Felix felt you reciprocate his kiss he let out a small whimper, you wouldn’t have even heard it if you weren’t so close to him. His hands fell to your waist and he shuffled even closer to you when you parted your legs further to allow him to make the connection between you. Your own hands were on his shoulders. 
The beta didn’t go any further and settled for what you were giving him. He wanted to go at your pace, afraid he would do something to scare you off. While you did enjoy his kiss it suddenly was not enough for you so you took the initiative to gently run your tongue along his lip. When he felt your tongue he whimpered again this time a little louder. His sounds were doing something to you and without thinking you rolled your hips against his. 
When your pelvis made contact with his it’s like the damn broke for him and he let the niceties fall. Felix started to ravage your mouth now with his own tongue, his hands gripping you tighter and his own hips doing a roll. Your breath caught in your throat as a quiet moan escaped your lungs. 
He held you like that for a while, you both basically dry humping on the counter and tasting each other's mouths. Eventually it was becoming too much for the beta, he knew he would cum in his pants soon and he did not want to do that in front of you. He pulled back from your lips , only a few inches apart. 
“Do you want to go further with me, baby?” He prayed you said yes. You had him so worked up he didn’t think jerking off would suffice anymore. 
“Please, Lixie. Wanna feel you.” 
Fuck 
That was all he needed to lift you from the counter onto your feet, then he grabbed the bottom of your tank top and pulled it off of you. He groaned at the sight of your lace bra. You made grabby hands at his own shirt and pulled it over his head. 
Felix was so defined. He was so tiny the thought had never even crossed your mind that he could also be ripped. You didn’t have much time to stare before he was turning you around to face the mirror with his hands on your hips and lips on your neck as he locked eyes with you in the mirror. “Can I take you like this, Baby? Let me see all of you?” He let a hand creep up your back to the clasp on your bra, but not yet taking it off. 
You nodded, and answered “Uh huh. Yes lixie.” You were so ready for him. Honestly you had been wet since before you styled his hair. You would be surprised if Felix somehow didn't notice the sickly sweet pheromones that were draining out of you.
Felix unclasped your bra  with nimble fingers and let it fall away from you. “Oh my god you're so beautiful.” He groaned out when he saw your bare chest. That same hand came to the front of your body and found your right breast, his thumb coming up to rub over your nipple. Now it was your turn to moan out, leaning closer to his chest. “Put your hands on the counter in front of you, baby.” 
You did so without complaint and put your palms flat on the surface. He fondled your chest for a few minutes, taking in all the little sighs and moans you would let out as he watched your expressions in the mirror, finding it addicting. When you pushed your ass back into his crotch he let out an almost silent growl, nipping into the skin on your neck that he had been kissing. Suddenly he released you and went to the waistband of your pants, yanking them down your legs with no warning taking your underwear with them. 
Felix didn’t know what was overtaking him but he didn’t mind it. He was never this assertive when having sex but something about you made him want to take control. Whether it was your omega status or just your submissive nature in general he couldn’t be sure. Probably a combination of both. You certainly were not complaining, liking this sudden dominant side of the man. 
The beta pulled down his own pants and underwear next, eager to have the constricting material off. There you both were, naked and breathing heavy in anticipation. Your eyes were locked in the mirror as Felix reached under both of you and his fingers found your bundle of nerves. You gasped when he touched the sensitive area, eyes closing only for a second. He could feel just how drenched you were for him. 
It was at this point that Felix realized he did not have a condom in here.’ Are you fucking kidding me?’ he momentarily chastises himself. “Ummm baby?” you hummed in response, waiting in anticipation. “I sorta don’t have a condom…” 
“Oh.” you froze. “Th-then we can, umm, maybe we should stop.” 
“Do you want to stop?” He desperately did not want to, he literally didn’t know if he could at this point. 
“N-no but Chan and the doctor said-” 
“But I can pull out.” He eagerly proposed, he had never been a rule breaker but right now he really did not give a shit. Consequences be damned. “Come on omega, it’ll feel so good.”
“I don’t know, lix…” You trailed off, unsure. "Channie wouldn't like it.." You didn’t want to disobey but one look at his pleading face behind you and you gave in. “If you promise to pull out…” 
“I promise,” he said immediately. You nodded hesitantly giving him the go ahead as you readied yourself against the counter once more. "God, you are so hot."
The beta placed a kiss to your neck before taking his member in his hand and lining up with your entrance. He hadn’t prepped you like he should have but honestly when you were both that desperate that was the farthest thing from his mind. He let the tip run through your slick that had accumulated to make it an easier entry. Felix slowly pushed into you from behind, the stretch of him leaving a slight burn and you lightly hissed at the intrusion. 
Felix on the other hand was in heaven. He had never felt so incredible from one push but fuck you were so tight.  “Fuck omega, your pussy is so tight, nnggg oh my god I don’t know how I'll be able to move, fuck baby.” Felix couldn’t shut up as he filled you. His words were helping you though, as he stopped moving to let you adjust while he mumbled. 
Between his jumbled (what you assumed were) praising words he laid sloppy kisses to your bare shoulders, his saliva leaving wetness along your skin. You were absolutely reeling; between feeling him within you and his total personality flip that left you with whiplash, your brain was turning into a muddled mess. It got even worse when he started rutting into you from behind, his hips grinding harshly against your ass.
His chest pushed you further into the counter and with the new angle his cock hit something deep inside you. Your back arched as you moaned aloud, your head falling forward in your ecstasy. 
“F-fuuckk baby, you are so good f’ me. So so good, oh my god.” his deep voice was getting raspier by the second. Felix reached his hand around, his small fingers finding your clit again and rubbing sloppy circles.  His other hand went to your breast and massaged your sensitive skin. “Look at me, baby, please look at me.” 
You mustered all your willpower to bring your head up as much as you could, looking through your wet lashes to his gaze in the mirror. He looked absolutely wrecked, his eyes glossed over as he drooled on you. At the sight of him, fucked out because of you, you felt your orgasm approaching and approaching fast. “F-felix ‘m gonna- gonna cum.” 
“Please cum for me. I need you to cum for me.” He sped up his thrusts, humping into you desperately. He was close to. The pulsing of his dick within you sent you over the edge, and you came with a loud cry of his name. 
The squeezing of your heat on his member was enough for him. The beta knew he wouldn’t be able to pull out in time but he still tried, cumming half inside and the rest on your ass. The second he came his urges took over completely and without a warning, his teeth embedded themselves in your shoulder blade. When his teeth made contact in your skin you moaned as another orgasm washed over you. 
You both were panting hard, you with tears cascading down your cheeks and Felix with your blood on his lips. It took you a moment to catch both of your breaths, the severity of what had happened finally registering in both of your minds. 
“Felix…” 
“Yeah” 
“You came in me.”
“Yeah”
“Do you think Chan will be mad?”
“Yep”
“Oh. Did you mean to bite me?” 
“Um, n-no.” He stammered, “ It had been on my mind since a few days ago when Chan said we could.” 
‘Chan had said that?’ 
“But I didn't really expect to.” He grabbed a towel and began to wipe up the dripping mess he made on your skin.  “I guess now is a good time to tell you that I'm kinda in love with you.” he chuckled nervously. 
You spun around at his confession, not really shocked. You were able to feel his emotions when he bit down on you. It wasn’t as intense as when Chan bit into you - given he is an alpha and he bit your mating gland - but you could still sense the betas to an extent. “Felix…” you let more salty tears trail down your face. “I…I kinda love you too.” 
Now he was crying, unable to contain his emotions and he fell into your embrace. Both of you were just little crybabies. Maybe that is why you got on so well together. It was easy to be vulnerable with him. 
It was easy with Felix. So you both just hugged, and whispered to each other there in the bathroom.  Both dreading the storm that was your alpha. 
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Sometime later after you had both redressed and Felix cleaned the wound on your shoulder, you both exited the bathroom. You shared a final kiss before parting ways. Felix going down the stairs and you going into Chan's office. The guilt was going to eat you alive if you didn’t tell him (assuming he couldn’t smell it on you when you came in). 
You heard more faint talking so you knocked and waited. You heard him thank whoever he was talking to and hang up. “Come on in,  baby.” He called out to you. You opened his door slowly and saw him sitting at his desk. His nostrils flared when you entered his office. 
Chan obviously knew what you were doing with Felix, but he didn’t know the dirty secret you were keeping. Upon your entry into his office you were emitting a scent you hadn’t produced in a few days; intense guilt. 
“What’s wrong, omega?” He immediately questioned you, reaching his hands out for you. When he noticed your hesitancy to grab his hand he stood from his seat and rested his hands on your shoulders, bending to be eye level with you. “Did something happen? Did Felix do something to you?” 
“No!” you answered quickly. “I mean, not really.” 
“Then what's wrong? You can't keep secrets from me, I can smell it on you.” 
You looked down to the floor shamefully before giving him an answer. “When Felix and I were..intimate, he sorta.. He didn’t wear anything… and he umm he kinda came in me a little bit..” Your heart was pounding out of your chest when you saw the hardened look in the alphas face, his eyes darkening at your admittance. 
“Is that so?” He seemed eerily calm, if you knew anything about alphas it’s that they are prone to rage so the fact that he didn’t immediately lash out was kind of scary to you. Little did you know he was furious. 
“I’m really sorry, Channie. I-i know i wasn’t supposed to but-” 
“Go to our room.” He interrupted you, removing his hands from you. 
“W-what?” 
He let out a low growl, “Go. to. Our. room. Omega, now.” 
You gave him a look of alarm at his menacing tone, but still scurried out of his office and to his room. You shut the door softly and then sat on the bed, awaiting your fate. You hadn’t seen Chan angry yet, you didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t strike you as the type to scream and throw things like your father had been, but to be fair you had only known him for just over a week. 
After about ten minutes Chan walked through the door into the space you occupied. He still had that intimidating demeanor but he seemed to be keeping his cool. He skipped the formalities as he spoke to you though, “ Take off your clothes and get in the shower.” 
You stood from your seated position and started to strip, gently placing your clothes down in the hamper before slowly making your way to the bathroom. The whole time he just watched you as if you were a prey animal, and he was the big bad wolf.  
Once you turned on the water to his shower it only took a moment for it to get hot and you entered the shower. It was a spacious area, with sliding glass and a shower head that rained down from the ceiling. Any other time you would have found solace in the luxurious bathroom, but right now all you felt was anxious. 
Chan didn’t say anything as he slipped into the shower with you a few moments later. In fact he hadn’t said anything at all as he helped you wash your hair, he only shushed you when you went to speak. It wasn’t until he grabbed a loofa and began rubbing down your body from behind with it that he spoke. “ This is a nice bite mark here on your shoulder. Did Felix do that to you?” You went to nod in response but that wasn’t what the alpha was looking for, and he used one hand to reach onto the base of your head and gripped your hair tightly, causing you to let out a squeak. “I asked you a question, omega, and I expect an answer.” 
“Yes, yes Alpha he did.” You gasped out, falling quickly into an uncharted subspace. Your inner omega only wanted to please your alpha now. His actions and words were shocking to you, he wasn’t being the Chan you knew him to be. You had seen small glimpses here and there but never to this extent.
“Did he bite you while he was cumming inside of you?” His grip on your hair tightened in one hand while his other brought the loofa down between your legs. 
“Yes alpha.” You tilted your head back trying to get some slack but it proved pointless. 
“Do you remember the conversation we had with the doctor yesterday, omega?” He knew you did, or else you wouldn’t have come to him so guiltily. 
“Yes I re-remember” You stuttered, your insides fluttering with both excitement and anxiety. 
“What did he say to us about when having sex?” His lips were kissing your injured skin on your shoulder where your new bite mark resided. 
“To-to use protection until my results come in and I can go on-on birth control.” your panting was getting stronger as you tried to forget about the pain on your scalp. 
“Mm that is right, baby.” chans tongue dug into your injured skin, causing you to let out a quiet cry. “Ya know what the rule was and still deliberately did otherwise. What am I going to do with you?”  It was a rhetorical question meant to tease you. You started to cry at his words. 
“ m’ so sorry Alpha. Please don’t be angry. M’ sorry.” He leaned over to lick up the salty tears that were coming down steadily now. 
“Oh baby, I know you're sorry. Alpha knows.” you perked up slightly but it all came crashing down when he said his next words, “But just because you're sorry doesn’t mean there are no consequences.” 
He dropped the sponge to the ground and that hand grabbed both of your wrists holding them together behind your back and pushing you against the cold tile, your chest smushing against the wall. “Ahh Chan!”
“Spread your legs. Let me in there, omega.” you did as he said, and he wasted no time in rubbing the tip of his cock along your sensitive folds. “Funny enough, I had just talked to the doctor on the phone before you came into my office, stinking like guilt and cum.” The alpha pressed you harder against the tile. “And it turns out you wouldn’t even be able to get pregnant right now, those suppressants  are running crazy all over your body and hormones.”
 Without warning he pushed into your heat, your sore walls engulfing him completely. He was so big. Even though you had been prepped by Felix so recently, taking the alpha was a whole other ball game. The only time he had really fucked you was on your heat, where your body was ready to accommodate his length.
“R-really?” you asked in a moan, both in pleasure and pain. 
“Uh huh. How lucky is that?” He started at a brutal pace, the skin of his pelvis slapping against your ass noisily. “Still doesn’t excuse your actions. The both of you have to make it up somehow.” 
“Please, m’ sorry.” you pleaded between moans and squeaks. His cock always filled you so well.
“This bite mark he left you sure is deep. You know Felix would only bite someone he loves.” Your heart fluttered at his remark, and it seemed your pussy did too. “Fuck so tight. Did you know that, omega? Your pussy tightened on me so you must know. Felix loves you, and now I'm sure you love him too huh?” 
“Yes alpha!” you cried louder as his wet heaving chest was pressed against your back.
“Maybe that should be your punishment. Yeah that's it, since both of you want to disobey me then that's the consequence.’ your eyes widened, having an inkling of what he would say next. 
“You aren’t allowed to touch him, at all, until I say so. No kissing, no fucking, no so much as brushing fucking fingers with him until I've deemed it acceptable. Fuck maybe I won’t even let him speak to you from now on.” 
“Alpha no!” You tried to protest but he only sped up his thrusts, making you only be able to moan and cry. Fuck he was fucking you so good. Better than anything you have ever felt. He had you so deep in space you could barely focus on anything than that thin line between pain and pleasure.
“Too fucking late. You stay the fuck away from him, do you hear me, omega? Damn, I'm gonna cum. He won’t so much as breathe in your direction until I say so.” The alpha let go of your hair and you sucked in a large breath at the release. He opted for gripping your hips roughly, his fingers surely to leave bruises. 
Your arms were free now so with one hand you braced yourself against the cold surface, the other was reaching behind you to grab at your mate, craving even an ounce of comfort as you were nearing your high. You made contact with the skin on his waist and dug your fingers into him. 
When you grabbed him the alpha let go and released inside of you with a loud growl, the copious amount overflowing against his length. His knot inflated within you, locking you into place with him. His growl set something inside of you aflame and without warning you came too, a loud wail leaving your lips and your eyes rolling into the back of your head. You wretch your head to the side bearing your neck for your alpha, giving him your complete submission. He almost took the opportunity to reclaim you, but knew you had enough biting for one day.
Chan stilled his hips, breathing heavy in your ears as he let you come down. He watched the cum fall down from where you were joined and be washed away with the water. After a moment when his knot had deflated, he slowly pulled out of you, kissing the back of your neck and whispering praises. He knew it would be a long night of aftercare. 
A/n: True colors are starting to come out a lil more, not everything is all sunshine and rainbows
Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!
Also if any one wants to chat about the story or share predictions please send me an ask!!
Beta read by my wonderful bumble bee @ayejaii
©doitforbangchan
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4ngel-inc · 3 months
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࿔*:・ 𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐘 𝐌𝐄 — 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏 ࿐
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notes — [ mdni / 18+ ], fem reader, pet names, dirty talk.
𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑 takes it very seriously when you can't sleep. "lucifer, i'm fine, is this really necessary?" he rubs your feet as you sip on the tea he made you, just a little honey and cream the way you like. "yes," he states matter-of-factly, "you aren't feeling well," he frowns, "i wish you'd tell me what's on your mind." the tea is making you a little more relaxed, "it just gets to me sometimes, luci," you pause, "seeing everyone fawn over you at RAD." he sighs, halting his ministrations on your feet, "it's only because i'm in charge, they think they'll benefit if they befriend me," he looks at you with all the love in the world, "it's you i really want, that won't change."
𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍 is the reason you can't sleep, he's pissed you off with one of his get-rich-quick schemes again, and the argument you had before turning the lights out is enough to have you ruminating, thinking about the things he's said to you. you wonder, will he ever grow more responsible? although he seems to be sleeping soundly, mammon is contemplating the same things—why does he keep disappointing you? he wants to be better, for you. "hey, ya sleeping?" if you're awake, he's hoping you'll be open to talking. "i'm sorry, i know yer mad, but i'm gonna be more responsible from now on, gotta make you my wife someday, i wanna take care of you, please let me."
𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐔𝐒 naturally, thinks sex is the answer when you can't sleep. he'll slip his hand around the back of your hair and pull you in, immediately slipping his tongue into your mouth. he's a bit of a pervert, so he doesn't waste time in asking you if what he's doing is alright, "this ok, love? let me help you sleep," he nibbles on your bottom lip as you nod, urging him to continue. "i'll fuck you to sleep, let me please you, you and your beautiful body. . ." he mutters to himself, trailing a hand down your stomach before slipping his fingers under your panties, "you'll only have good dreams tonight, honey, i promise."
𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐙𝐄𝐁𝐔𝐁 has never told you before, but he always waits until you fall asleep before he lets himself drift off. he just likes to know you're safe and comfortable before he can relax, and seeing you tucked under his arm, looking so peaceful since he is the one protecting you, is worth more to him than any gourmet cuisine. however, when you can't sleep, he's naturally excited to share his favorite snacks with you—cookies and cakes, probably far too much sugar for a late-night meal but it honestly does make you feel a little better. "see? i told you," he smiles and snuggles into you, "you're feeling better now, i can tell."
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Bad Faith Part Two
Part One | Masterlist
Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader
Rating: Explicit - 18+. Minors, kindly get off my lawn.
Notes: Not beta-read because when is it ever. Read this over six times but there are probably twenty typos that I'll spot the second I hit post, so. Anyway! Welcome to part two of two!! Thank you for reading 💖
Length: 14.2k
Warnings: Angst; fluff! Huzzah!; Reader’s married surname is Hayward; reader is depressed for swaths of the chapter; unhealthy coping mechanisms; lovers to enemies to allies to lovers; explicit sexual content - vaginal sex, oral sex, hate sex, safe sex
Summary: Your life was four walls, a cruddy bed, rickety furniture. You spent too much time awake when you should’ve been sleeping; too much time reminiscing when you should have been moving on; too much time dwelling on the time that you spent with men in your life that probably wouldn’t spare you another thought. 
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“Ross. Mike Ross.” 
“Cut the Bond schtick.” 
“I’m a contender.” 
“Not a chance. Besides, we’ve been over this; you’re Q at best.” 
“Could do a lot worse than Desmond Llewelyn or Ben Whishaw—Hang on, you think you’re Bond?” 
Harvey stopped, gesturing over his body sweepingly before scoffing, “Please.”
“Please is right,” Mike muttered, tucking his hands into his pockets. “You always go to this thing?” 
“...I’ve been once or twice.” In truth, Harvey hadn’t been to the New York City Estate and Properties gala in years. He hadn’t had occasion or reason; the last time he had, he’d made sure that she wouldn’t be there before he’d agreed. Tonight his purpose was manifold—drink good champagne, eat good food, and warn Hayward off of pursuing his lawsuits against his client’s property. 
His client. It wasn’t as simple as all that, but these days, he’d managed to separate her from the work. It was clinical—and clinical was exactly what he needed. 
“Did you see the menu for dinner? I didn’t see a menu.” 
“Get your fill of canapes. I’m talking to Hayward and then we’re going.” 
“What?” Mike pouted. “But I thought we were staying for the ceremony.” 
“You thought wrong. Keep your eyes peeled. Sooner we get this conversation over, the sooner we can get away from this den of cobras.” 
“Never have a mongoose when you need one.” Mike nodded over Harvey’s shoulder. “Found Mrs. Hayward.” 
“Thought she didn’t like you calling her that.” 
“She doesn’t, but around here, it might be better to use that rather than use her maiden name and have someone ask me who the hell I’m talking about…You gonna talk to her?” 
“What for?” 
“So she at least knows what suit to look for when she wants to avoid you.” 
Harvey’s chastising glare was met with a wide, smug grin. 
“Come on,” Mike groaned. “You haven’t spoken to her in weeks.” 
“And have you considered that that may be why things have been going so smoothly?” 
“Fine—I’ll give you another reason you should say hi to her.” 
“You better make it a good one this time.” 
“Jessica is catching on to the fact that you haven’t touched this case with a ten foot pole.” 
Harvey winced slightly as he swallowed the last of his champagne. 
“Fine,” He grudgingly conceded, setting the empty champagne flute on a passing waiter’s tray. “Point me.” 
“She’s at your two o’clock.” 
Harvey turned accordingly, pushed out an annoyed sight—and then felt what breath he had left catch in his throat. 
‘Stunning’ was the first word that came to mind, but in his heart, Harvey knew that it didn’t do her justice. For his lingering, abiding annoyance with her, and with them—with the whole goddamn situation—there were moments when Harvey remembered why he’d fallen in love with her in the first place. 
She didn’t want to be there. Harvey didn’t need to ask to know that—it was common sense. But that didn’t stop her from showing her face, from being impeccably dressed, and maintaining what had to be a meticulously constructed poker face. 
“...You do know what staring isn’t talking, right?” 
Mike’s amusement cut into Harvey’s reverie, and he cleared his throat to refocus himself. 
“Keep an eye out for Hayward,” Harvey ordered before he forced himself forward, slowly weaving through the crowd. 
What the hell was he even going to say to her? Hi wasn’t going to cut it; Come here often? Was almost as stupid. How about something about her dress—Whether or not it was new? That had to be safe, neutral ground— 
Harvey had been so focused on what he planned to say that he hadn’t clocked her turning to face him. He chalked it up to panic radar—her hype-sesitivity given the current situation. He stared. She watched. And then—
“Come here often?” 
Damnit. Stupid, sure, but at least it wasn’t hi. 
-- 
“...Annually, at least.”
Was it your imagination, or was Harvey…Nervous? At the very least, he seemed as confused as you were at the fact that he was talking to you. 
“I’m a little surprised that you made a showing,” He admitted. 
“I could say the same for you. Does Jessica have you prospecting clients to get back in the good graces of the real estate department at the firm?” 
Harvey’s eyes narrowed with playful intrigue,and for a moment, you saw a flash of the man that you used to know—the man who gave you that same look when you slipped your panties off and tucked them into his jacket pocket to find later. 
“What did Mike tell you?” 
You shrugged nonchalantly, glancing around. 
“Nothing impor—...Tant.” You trailed off, falling still and quiet as your eyes landed on Steven. 
Well, he was hard to miss. 
Standing at 6’3, with a manufactured tan, swimmer’s build, full head of gracefully graying hair, and veneers that made his smile look like a neatly arranged row of chiclets gum, Steven Hayward was the very picture of the kind of health that only wealth could buy. With the stress of the last few weeks, you knew that you weren’t looking your absolute best. You’d had so many sleepless nights; you’d swapped out your favorite catered meals in favor of cheaper alternatives, or dollar slices of pizza, or ramen from the bodega down the block from your apartment, pulled gently from beneath the cat that seemed to always be napping on the exact flavor that you wanted. 
You were certain that Steven lost no sleep over the decision to divorce you, or to pull the rug out from beneath you. You expected him to be in tip-top shape—but you saw hints of his rage as he grew closer. 
“Oh—Hell,” You mumbled, tipping your head toward Harvey. “You might wanna clear out.” 
“You kidding? I’ve got a front row seat to the prize fight of the century.” 
“Target acquired.”
You frowned at the sound of Mike’s voice, but you didn’t turn to look at him as you muttered, “Target?” 
“Darling.” The term of affection oozed past Steven’s bleached-white teeth. He stopped just a couple of steps from you—not near enough to touch, but close enough to see the anger sparkling in his dishwater gray eyes. A pulse of vindication swept through your chest at the tense smile, and the tight pull of his jaw. 
“Steven,” You greeted cordially.
“I’m surprised to see you this evening.” 
“If I had a nickel.” 
“Oh, but you do. Putting all of those properties up for sale, I expect you plan on having more than a few nickels.” 
“What can I say? A girl’s gotta get by.” 
“Anything I can do to help?” 
“Have you considered unfreezing our joint account?” 
He chuckled humorlessly. “Anything but that.” 
“Then wire me half.”
“You haven't earned half.” 
It was meant to cut you down and lay you out, but you refused to bow to this man publicly when the other attendees must always hold you in such low regard as it was. 
“I agree,” You offered, and before Steven could preen in his false superiority, you clarified: “I deserve more.” 
Steven bristled, shoulders bunching tight. 
“Perhaps I should just take this evening’s expenses out of that half.” 
You furrowed your brow pointedly, shaking your head. 
“Mmm…I’m not sure I understand what you mean.” 
“Really.” 
“Mm…N—...No—?” 
“Perhaps you’ve been so busy hocking your clothes like a dog snuffling for scraps—” Your face flared with embarrassment as Steven pressed on: “But there was meant to be a reception at my penthouse this evening.” 
My penthouse. If it had only been the two of you in that room, you may have slapped him. How had he been able to detach, to force you from his mind and his heart so quickly? Had he ever loved you? Had any man? 
The heat of Harvey’s body suddenly seemed to flare just behind you. 
“Ah!” You nodded sagely, “It’s all coming back to me.” 
“What could have happened there, I wonder?” 
“You must not have taken care.” 
“Of what?” 
Of me. “Of anything.” 
Steven took you in for another long, cruel moment before he jutted his chin over your shoulder. 
“Friends of yours?” 
Ah yes. Your personal legal peanut gallery. You glanced back to confirm their positioning before raising your hand to gesture: 
“This is Mike Ross.” The name seemed to knock something loose in Steven’s mind as he shook Mike’s hand. 
“Ah, Mr. Ross. I saw your name on some documentation this morning.” 
“You’re about to see it a lot more, Mr. Hayward.” 
“And this is Harvey Specter.” 
Your stomach lurched as Steve’s eyes widened slightly, lips curling into a smile. 
“This is Harvey Specter?” He didn’t bother to hide his amusement as he proffered his hand. ”I didn’t realize I sent you the worst possible port in this storm.” 
“You didn’t,” Harvey insisted, grasping Steven’s hand firmly. “You sent her to the best.” 
“Try not to drop her this time. My arms aren’t open anymore.” 
Your hands tightened where they were clasped around one another. You forced yourself to keep your gaze set stalwartly on Steven, rather than watch the contentious (and no doubt, painful) handshake that the two of them were sharing. 
“Well,” You chirped. “This was a lovely little catch-up.” 
“Yes,” Harvey chimed in, finally extricating his hand from Steven’s and tucking it into his pocket. “We must do it again sometime. Preferably at a deposition.” 
“Maybe in court,” Mike added. You had to fight down a smile at the sudden swell of support, and a wave of warmth that swept through you. Steven’s eyes narrowed just a touch more before he nodded. 
“I do hope you’ll stay for my speech.” 
“Who’d you have write it for you this time?” You asked. 
“I took a crack at writing it myself.” 
If that was true, it was sure to be a mess and a half. You always had been the one to draft his speeches or remarks—or you paired down any drafts sent over by the agency’s PR department. 
“I look forward to it.” 
Steven gave you one last look before he turned away, slapping on his businessman smile as he went, and raising a hand to signal someone like a politician trying to garner votes. 
“...Why didn’t you mention the forgery charges?” Mike asked. 
“It’s too soon to tip our hand...What table are you sitting at?”
“Thirteen,” You sighed. 
“Lucky number,” Mike muttered. 
“Go change our place cards,” Harvey ordered. “Put us on either side of her.” 
You whirled around to face him, stunned at the tight irritation pinching his features. 
“So we are staying for dinner?” Mike grinned. Harvey blinked flatly at him before reiterating: “Go.” 
You watched Mike duck through the crowd, heading for the dining room.
“Were you not going to stay for dinner?” 
“I’ve gotta eat some time. Come on,” Harvey nudged your arm with his, “Buy me a drink.” 
“It’s an open bar.” 
“Good. Then it won’t break the bank.” 
The press of Harvey’s warm hand to your lower back was far more steadying than it should have been, and it managed to dampen the enraged fire in your belly. 
“How’s that good faith deposit doing, anyway?” 
“I threw 98% of it into an HYSA.” 
“Smart move.” 
“I should’ve made moves like it sooner.” 
“Better late than never.” 
“I guess.” 
“...You don’t have to stay for dinner.” 
“We’re going to.” 
“On either side of me as well, I’m flattered. I wasn’t planning on having guard dogs this evening.” 
“As long as you don’t try to keep us on short leashes.” 
“Depends on whether you plan on doing more barking or biting this evening.” 
“I’ve barked enough for now.” 
“Biting?” 
“If you play your cards right, sure.” 
You didn’t bother to hide your open shock at the blatant implication, but when you looked at Harvey, you found him giving you a surprisingly warm smile. 
“Looks like speaking with Steven has put a little pep in your step, Mr. Specter.” 
“I wouldn’t say that.” 
“What did?”
Harvey leaned heavily against the bar, focus set elsewhere as he tried to catch the bartender’s eye. 
“You and I both know that this is going to be a long road. I like a good fight.” 
“You don’t say.” 
“It’s important to me that you’re ready for it, too.” 
You nodded a little. “It may also be prudent for us to keep that fight directed at Steven, and not toward one another.” 
Harvey took the two proffered champagne flutes, passing you one and holding it up to cheers: 
“I’ll drink to that.” 
-- 
It wasn’t perfect right away. You and Harvey still butt heads from time to time. On the purchases that the judges ruled that you were able to move forward with, you disagreed over terms—purchase price, contingencies, negotiations. But the knots unpicked sooner and sooner, and you reached resolutions faster. Mike hardly had to intervene anymore. Harvey gave Jessica status updates openly, and you abidingly ignored the smug, self-satisfied smiles that she gave you as you left her office. 
With the service and tenancy contracts, the two apartment building sales that aren’t mired in paperwork still chugged along slowly. You knew that it was protocol, but it was excruciating. You felt ill every time you got an email from Mike or Harvey, expecting correspondence that spelled disaster. Every little bit of good news only brought marginal relief. 
You spent most of your days in your apartment, packaging clothing or jewelry that you’d sold online. You got your packages sent off by five in the evening, and the rest of your night was your own—though it often ended similarly. Your logical mind often gave over to your emotions in the evening, and you allowed yourself to slip into quiet, depressed oblivion. The methods varied—slurping down two packets worth of dollar-pack ramen, and chasing that with a few bottles of beer as one of your favorite shows played in the background; curling up in your bed and staring at the ceiling at 8 PM, and laying wide awake with your mind racing until the sun came up; hunting through property listings online and plotting a comeback that felt like it would never come.
You never had visitors. Aaron was so entrenched at work that you  only got the odd text from him. Your former friends seemed to have further aligned themselves with Steven after his triumphant speech at the gala—during  which he had gone out of his way to omit any mention of you from his historical record. You had avoided seeing much of Jessica outside of the office, certain that she would council you on a good divorce lawyer, or encourage you to begin dating, or level another lecture about the stupidity with which you had bungled your last marriage.
For as well as you knew she meant, you didn’t have the time or patience—and some little part of you, some stupid, naïve part that knew well enough that the war was already lost, was convinced that Steven would change his mind.
It was unlikely, considering the magnitude of his cruelty over the last couple of months, and further exacerbated by your actions before the gala. Steven would not let you back into his arms, his home, or his heart. You didn’t truly want to be let back into his arms, or his heart, but you missed his home. You had taken such care in the planning, the curation, the furnishing, the upkeep. You were proud of it. You had been happy, and comfortable, and so goddamn foolish.
Now you were tired, and lonely, and you spent so much of your day feeling stupid. 
Sometimes, when the wind blew just a little too hard and rattled the flimsy windows, you let the sound of it cover your sobs against the paper-thin walls that connected you to your neighbor’s apartment (you’d learned just how much sound bled through when you first became privy to your neighbor’s light argument, which had then turned into a full-on shouting match. They’d sounded like they were in the same damn room with you, wall be damned).
It was one such sob session that you managed to hear someone knock on your door. You sniffled, shifting on your bed. You were certain that the sound was from next door, or that you’d misheard the rattle of the window. But when you heard the second, insistent round of knocks, the source couldn’t be mistaken. You sniffled, setting your beer aside onto the bedside table crowded with empties and pushing yourself off of the bed. You swiped haphazardly at the tears on your face as you walked over to it, calling out, “Alright, for fuckssake!” When a third round of knocks rapped against the door.
You threw it open, finally, wincing at the invasive flash of the flickering fluorescent hall light. You weren’t sure what was worse: the flickering, harsh strobe, or Harvey’s stunned confusion.
It may have been a tie.
“…What is it?” You mumbled.
“Have you been crying?”
“Little bit.”
“Are you drunk?”
“Getting there.”
“…Get dressed.”
“What?”
“Get dressed,” Harvey insisted, nodding over your shoulder. “We’re going out.”
“Harvey, I’m really not in the mood,” You sniffled.
“We won’t go far.”
“Then why are we going at all?”
Harvey opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by a sudden crash! and the swell of yelling voices from next door. His eyes darted toward it before he nodded.
“I’m not listening to that all night.”
“Who the hell says you’re going to be here more than five minutes?”
Your heart stuttered as Harvey’s hands planted firmly on your hips, steering you back into your studio before he nudged the door shut with his foot.
“Get dressed. And hurry up.”
You weren’t sure what it was—his touch, his firm insistence, or your own distaste for your screaming neighbors—but you turned around and began dutifully rifling through one of your remaining trash bags of clothing.
“Where are we going?”
“There’s a diner around the corner.”
“A diner? How down heel of you, Mr. Specter.”
“I can appreciate the simple things.”
You snorted, straightening with a pair of jeans and a sweater. “Since when.” You glanced guardedly toward him before you nodded him toward the door. “Turn around.”
--  
“You can afford better than that place, you know.” 
You didn’t answer him. Instead, you shoved a handful of cheese fries in your mouth and leaned back to chew with laborious slowness. You expected Harvey to fill the silence, but he didn’t. He just watched, and waited, and stared at you until you swallowed. You nudged the plate toward him, offering: “Want one?” 
 You avoided his openly chastising gaze, tired of the fact that it was the only look you get from most of the lawyers in your life these days. 
“You have that good faith deposit.” 
“I told you where it went.” 
“The brownstone payment is on the edge of clearing escrow. Look for somewhere else to live.” 
“Not yet.” 
“Why not?” 
“It’s not a good idea.” 
“Steven isn’t going to weasel into every potential deal and hold it up.” 
“Forgive me for my skepticism, but I don’t exactly have many friends in this city anymore.” 
“...Are you planning on going somewhere else?” 
You’d be lying if you said it hadn’t crossed your mind. There were cities here you could rebuild your life and your practices, places where you were sure Steven wouldn’t bother to try and strike down your attempts to rebuild your life. 
“Maybe,” You admitted. “I liked Cambridge.” 
Harvey’s lips twitched with a gentle, regretful smile. It was his turn to reach out and swipe a few fries and chow down. 
“Realty up there is pricey,” You added. “Could make a polite killing on student housing.” 
“How does one make a polite killing?” 
“Decent rent and coin-operated laundry. Maybe some paid parking, a few overpriced but conveniently placed vending machines.” 
“Redbull?” 
“I was just thinking about snacks, but you know what, Redbull isn’t a bad idea.” You reached out, picking up a fry and drawing it through the splodge of ketchup remaining at the edge of the plate. “Why did you come over?” 
“I wanted to let you know that the inspections are finished.” 
“On which?” 
“The properties that you didn’t know about.” 
“Anything stand out?” 
“A foundational issue on one of the apartment buildings, but it doesn’t cost enough that it should’ve stopped work.” 
“What about the others?” 
“Nothing that popped as catastrophic.” 
“You have the print-outs?” 
“In my car.” 
“Why are they in there?” 
“I was going to offer to take you for a drink, but you seemed to beat me to it.” 
You scoffed, shifting in your seat. “Don’t get all high and mighty on me, Specter.” 
“You do that often?” 
“What, drink?” 
“Yes.” 
“Are you accusing me of having a problem?” 
“I’m asking if you do that often.” 
“Once in a while.” 
“New for you?” 
“Relatively.” 
Harvey eyed you critically for a few moments before he nodded. “Call me the next time you want to have a drink.” 
“So you can talk me out of it?” 
“So you at least don’t do it alone.”
“I’m usually not in a talking mood when it happens.” 
“We don’t have to talk.” 
“Oh, please. As if you don’t love the sound of your own voice.” 
“Call me anyway.” 
You were quiet for a moment before you nodded. “You know, the thought of you dropping by may just be an effective suppressant.” 
Harvey’s smile widened a little. “Do you want to put the other houses on the market?” 
“I want to walk through the apartment buildings myself before I go through them.” 
“What about the ones in the Hamptons and the Cape?” 
“I’ll drive up.” 
“And Gstaad?” 
“A little trickier.” 
“Could bill it.” 
“I doubt it.” 
“You could, under discovery.” 
“This would not be covered under discovery.” 
“How would you know that?” 
“I’m sorry, remind me who used to quiz you for the bar?” 
Harvey scoffed softly, averting his gaze to the diner counter. “Well, this may surprise you, but a few laws have changed since then.” 
“And this may surprise you, but not only am I aware of that, I’ve also been pretty deeply entwined with lawyers since then. So I’m pretty comfortable making that assertion.” 
“And this? You think I’m not billing for this?” 
“Oh, I hope you are. I hope you bill for every second that it took you to walk up the steps to my apartment. I want Jessica to pay for my cheese fries. You know why?” 
“Because it would kill her?”
“It would drive her nuts.” 
“I can’t wait to give her the itemized total.” 
“I await the enraged phone call.” 
-- 
“You don’t have to walk me back up, you know."
“Sure I do. Gotta work off those fries. Besides, I’m billing for this until I officially drop you off.” 
You rolled your eyes, nudging Harvey’s shoulder with yours. Your depressed, tear-ridden, sobbing buzz had worn off over the course of dinner, and you didn’t think that the mood would creep back in once you were alone again. 
“I’ll walk through the apartment buildings tomorrow and see if I can get up to the Cape at some point in the next couple of weeks. The pictures and notes from the inspection look promising. If I dip into the good faith deposit, maybe I could get the Cape Cod house fixed up and sold before the summer.” 
“Or you could keep it as a rental property.” 
“Mm.” “You always liked the Cape in the winter…For some reason.” 
“I kinda like when it’s all grey and gloomy…and quiet.” 
“Be a good base for your Cambridge operation.” 
“Oh, please,” You chuckled. “It’s not even close. The red line doesn’t exactly go all the way to Hyannis.” 
The two of you slowed as you neared your landing, listening closely. 
“...Think the coast is clear?” Harvey murmured. 
“For now, at least.” You fished into your pocket for your keys. “Thanks for dinner.” 
“Sure. Remember what I said.” 
“I will.” 
“Call me if you need anything.” 
Anything. That was new. You nodded, gaze set on your keys as he turned to go back downstairs. 
“...Harvey?” 
“Yeah?” He stopped just a few steps away, and you had to scrounge up your courage to turn and look at him again. 
“I don’t, um…” You swallowed thickly. “I’m gonna wanna talk about it.” You watched Harvey’s face shift with grim understanding. 
“I don’t want to litigate that.” 
“Isn’t that your job?” 
“Not like this.” 
“Not tonight,” You reiterated, “But…Sometime. Please.” 
Harvey’s jaw went tight, but he gave you a short, firm nod before he turned away. You watched him round the corner, and listened until his footsteps faded and the front door opened downstairs. 
--  
The apartment buildings weren’t anything special. Stripped of most of their insulation, and with several of the windows already removed, the wind that pushed through them made the buildings sound like they were breathing. It was eerie, and chilly. You tightened your coat around yourself as you went from floor to floor, eyeing damaged pipes, areas where someone seems to have come in and rooted around for copper wiring, and the billowing plastic that marks off some doors that have been removed. 
The paperwork on this building listed the purchase date as nearly a year ago. 
A year ago, you and Steven had been discussing expanding your current operations. Maybe he hadn’t gotten sick of you yet. Maybe he’d bought you the buildings as a present and stopped work when things turned sour…Whenever that had been. 
There had been signs, sure, but Steven always had been temperamental. 
You pushed the thought away as you drew in a deep breath, turning toward the stairs. It wouldn’t do to overthink this just now. If needed, you could panic looking at the Hamptons, or Cape Cod…Or Gstaad, if you ever found a way to get to Gstaad. 
You reached into your pocket as your phone buzzed, drawing it out to find an incoming call. You groaned, stomping your foot petulantly before you raised it to your ear. 
“Jessica, I’m a little busy—” 
“I need you to come into the office.” 
Your fingers tightened around your phone as your palm began to sweat. 
“What happened?” 
“I’d rather discuss this in person.” “Jessica.” 
“Come to the office.” 
She hung up without another word. You swallowed thickly, lowering your phone and watching her call blink and then disappear. If she wasn’t willing to discuss it over the phone, whatever it was had to be very, very bad. 
-- 
“Cheese fries?” 
“Jessica,” You groaned, “Come on, there is no way that that’s why you called me here.” 
“No, it isn’t. But I’d like to remind you that you should remain fighting fit and cheese fries are not the way to do it.” 
“My life has fallen apart and dipped into a moderately humiliating place. I think I’m allowed to have a few cheese fries. Why did you tell me to come in.” 
“I have someone that I would like you to meet.” 
“I’m not going to start dating anyone now.” 
“Well, we can attack that another time. This is for your defense.” 
“Harvey’s on that.” 
“Your divorce.” 
“You know that I can’t afford a defense right now.” 
“I don’t mind getting a start while you get the pieces in place.” 
The man’s voice caught you off-guard, and you turned to find a man leaning in the doorway. Your brow furrowed a touch as you took him in—the long lean of his body, the neatly fitted charcoal suit and sky-blue tie, the curl of his dark hair, the twinkle of his warm chestnut eyes, and his small, intrigued smile. 
“Well that’s very kind of you, whoever the hell you are, but I don’t exactly have anything on the board right now.” 
“The fact that you even have a board is encouraging.” 
“...This metaphor is beginning to exhaust me.” 
“This,” Jessica stepped past you to gesture the man deeper into the room, “Is David Alford.” 
“Alford?” You repeated. “Like the plea?” 
“No relation. What would you know about an Alford plea?” 
“I know of it.” 
“How’s that?” 
“Well, I used to date a lawyer.” 
“Lucky guy.” 
“I don’t think he’d agree with you, as evidenced by the fact that he is no longer my boyfriend.” 
“It’s nice to meet you.” 
You shook his hand lightly, still wary from the ambush. 
“Look, Mr. Alford—” 
“David, please.” 
“—I don’t know what Jessica’s told you about my situation—” 
“She didn’t have to tell me much. Forgive my bluntness, but your name has come up in our circles over the last couple of weeks.” 
“Well, forgive my bluntness, but it’s not my circle anymore.” 
“It could be again.” 
“Are you going to get me a circle back in the divorce?” 
“I’m gonna get you whatever the hell you want in your divorce.” 
You let out a soft, disbelieving laugh, unable to help yourself. 
“O-kay,” You lowered your hand. 
“Why don’t I see what we can do about getting some coffee,” Jessica offered. “You two talk.” 
Your brows furrowed as she waved the two of you more deeply inside. Jessica, at least pretending to get coffee? Damn, she really did want the two of you to talk. You gave David a polite smile as you lowered yourself to sit.
“I’m sorry she dragged you in here.” 
“Wasn’t much of a drag. My office is a block away.” 
“Well, then I’m glad you haven’t come far for nothing.” 
“Nothing?” His brows jumped as he sat beside you. “I don’t understand.” 
“I’m not currently looking for a divorce lawyer.” 
“You need one.” 
“That is beyond the point, Mr—” 
“David.” 
“...Mister David,” You bit out pointedly, and fought back a wave of annoyance at his amused smile. “I’m not sure how much Jessica has told you, but there are a lot of things up in the air right now. I’ve socked away some money for my defense, but not enough.” 
“How would you know what’s enough?” 
“...Let’s pretend that I don’t know anything about the law, or the legal quagmire that I’ve gotten myself into. Let’s pretend that all I know about my soon to be ex-husband’s business is that he has a lot more money than I do. The two of us went into our marriage with about 600 bucks and a dream held together with tape and spit. I have watched, and I have helped my husband build up his business for the last eleven years. I have signed contracts, I have signed purchase orders, I have signed mortgages, I have signed deeds. Even if I wasn’t paying attention to what I was signing, I would know that Steven has amassed a lot of cash, a massive legal team, as well as a significant number of holdings—in both our names. He has a lot of power in this equation, and I do not. Whatever comes down the pike, it is going to be a protracted legal battle. If I was optimistic, I would figure that this would take about a year, but I’m not, and I know that it could take a few.”  
David’s dark eyes darted fascinatedly across your face before he offered: “But you do know a lot about Mr. Hayward’s business.” 
“Yes, I do.” 
“Because it was your business, too.” 
You averted your gaze from him as that washed over you. His acknowledgement made your heart knock hollowly against your ribs, and it took all of your strength not to slouch dejectedly in your chair. 
“...Yes,” You agreed. “It was.” “I understand that you’re discouraged. I would be, too, a lot of women are in your position.” 
“Exactly what position is that, Mister David.” 
His smile flattened with nerves, and he let out a huffed, joyless laugh. 
“I mean, having been served—” 
“A piping-hot plate of out on my ass?” 
“If that’s what you’d like to call it—”
“I call it that because that’s what it is, not because I like it that way.”
“I understand. Look,” David shifted in his seat, twisting to face you a little more. “I think that regardless of when you get your pieces in place, you have a real case here. I think I can get you half.” 
If you had a touch less decorum, you would have jumped out of your seat and screamed—both from the excitement, and the certainty that David Alford was out of his mind. Instead, you blinked twice, and once you managed to unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth, asked:
“Half?” 
“Yes ma’am.” 
“There is no way.” 
“You’d be surprised.” 
“I don’t think I would, because I’m almost certain that’s impossible.” 
“Well, it certainly would be before.” 
“What exactly has changed?” 
“You didn’t know me. You do now.” 
You smiled in spite of yourself at the brash, almost fearless way that he said it. As skeptical as you were, you knew that this was exactly what you needed: someone as bold, confident, and fearless as—
“What a cozy little conference this is.” 
You turned back at the sound of Harvey’s voice, smiling a little. “Looking to join the fun?” 
“If I can hazard a guess at Jessica’s matchmaking, Alford is the one joining the fun.” 
“Specter,” David greeted, pushing himself out of his seat. “Haven’t seen you at the squash courts recently.” 
“I’ve been trolling the back nine,” Harvey offered, shaking David’s hand. “Nice to see you, Pleas and thank you.” 
Your brow furrowed at the term. “What?” 
“It’s what some of the guys at the club call me. You know, my name—” 
“Alford pleas and thank you.” You scrubbed your hand across your brow. “God, that’s dumb.” 
“We can’t all be queens of quip.” 
“You poor things,” You shot back scathingly. Harvey shot you a wink before turning back to David. 
“So, David, whaddaya say?” Harvey plied. “You filling the gap?” 
“Yeah, I’d love to fill ‘er in.” 
You didn’t miss his innuendo, nor the speculative, open, sweeping gaze that David leveled at you. Your brows inched toward your hairline, stunned at his brazenness. Surely you hadn’t seen it right—
“Coffee?” 
Your focus was broken at the sound of Jessica’s voice, and the sight of a coffee tray being wheeled in behind her. You let yourself be busied by it. You focused on your coffee, made it the way you liked, and let Jessica and David and Harvey talk about what you could reasonably expect out of the divorce battle. 
Reasonably, as if this entire situation hadn’t been insanely unreasonable. 
But you let yourself sit, and listen, and save your speculation for the train ride home. 
You must’ve read his look wrong, or misunderstood. He didn’t mean it like that. 
And even if he did, finding that look intriguing was incredibly appropriate. But it didn’t matter! Because he didn’t mean it like that. 
…And even if he did, it was probably just something that he tried to bring you on board. But it didn’t matter, because he did not mean it like that. 
Though if he did, it really wouldn’t matter, because it would be grounds for him to be disbarred. Nothing was going to happen…Even if you did find him attractive, and found his blunt approach and self-assured nature very, very hot. 
But you were not going to fuck him.
--  
“Don’t fuck him.” 
You had expected the warning to come from Jessica, but to hear it from Harvey of all goddamn people made you gape at him in shock. He just gave you a knowing look before he turned back toward the beer that he was opening. 
Your urge to have a drink that evening hadn’t been strong, but it had been there, and it had made you think of Harvey’s offer from the day before. You hadn’t expected such a quick response to your simple text of ‘Beer?’, but he had turned up a mere half hour later, a fresh six pack in hand. He had shrugged off his jacket, tossed it on to your bed, and walked over to your kitchenette—where he proceeded to say the most heinous thing.
“Excuse me?” You finally managed. 
“You heard me.” 
“I don’t think I did, actually, not properly, because it sounded like you just gave me an order that you had no business giving.” 
“I have plenty of business.” 
“No—” 
“Don’t—” 
“No no no, you do not, not here, and not like that.” 
“I’m just saying,” Harvey turned from the counter, planting his hand on the cruddy formica, “That I know—” 
“Do not say that you know me.” 
His expression darkened, and you watched as he drew in a deep breath. “I know him.” 
“...He has to be good, or Jessica wouldn’t have pulled him on to my case.” 
“He’s a good lawyer, but he’s a scuzzy asshole.” 
“I know the type.” 
“You think I’m a scuzzy asshole?” 
Your gut dropped at the hint of anger seeping into his tone. 
“I meant Steven.” 
Harvey turned away, hand curling into a fist and knocking lightly on the counter. 
“Just…Be careful with him.” 
“You are the last person that has any right to lecture me on the care that I ought to take with the men in my life.”
“I’m not lecturing you—” 
“No, you’re warning me off, like a little kid that’s playing too close to an electric fence.” 
“It wouldn’t be the first time.” 
“Fuck you.” 
“Fine by me, as long as you don’t fuck David.” “Alright, you know what,” You pushed off of your bed, striding over to your door. “Get out.” 
“We’re not done talking about this.” 
“Yes, we are. Get out.” 
“We’re not done until—” 
“We’re done when I say we’re done!” You began to yank your door open. Harvey was across your small space in a moment, palm flat against the door as he shoved it shut behind you. 
“And what the hell gives you the right to decide that?” 
“Because it’s my turn!” You barked. “I get to decide when we’re done now.” 
“It stopped being your turn when you stormed out of my office.” 
“Then make the damn decision yourself and get the fuck out of my apartment!” 
“If you want to ruin that man’s career and your chances of getting anything that you want out of your divorce, you go right ahead.” 
“I am not going to fuck him, and I’m not going to get him disbarred, you ass.” 
“Good.” 
“And I deeply resent the implication that I’m so sex-starved and desperate that I’m willing to fuck anyone who gives me any goddamn attention.” 
“I did not—” 
“Yes, you did, you did the second you opened your mouth. By rights, if that’s your view of me, I should’ve tried to not only fuck Mike, but you, of all people.” 
“I never implied that you were sex starved, but if you were, you could do a lot worse than Mike—” 
“Oh, really—” 
“And a helluva lot worse than me.” 
“Oh, please! There is no way that I could do worse than you. There are dictators that I’d sooner fall into bed with.” 
“If all you’re cutting out is the bed, I can work with the rest.” 
You could’ve slapped him. He was close enough, and you could just imagine it—the way the flush of red would look spreading across his cheek. 
“What makes you think I’d ever allow you anywhere near me again, Specter?” 
“I’m pretty damn close now.” He shifted closer, stopping as the tips of his shoes brushed your socked feet.
“Against your better judgment.” 
“You want to put me in my place, sweetheart, you go right ahead.” 
“Don't call me that.” 
“Why not.” 
“Don’t you dare call me that.” 
“Give me a good reason not to.” 
“You haven’t earned it back.” 
“Any idea of how I might do that?” 
You bit him. You grasped his tie, tugged him in, and sank your teeth into his lower lip. You expected an argument, but Harvey just groaned, grasping you by the hips and shoving you back against the door. You released his lip, groaning as he swept his tongue into your mouth. Your hand unwound from his tie, breath leaving you in harsh puffs as Harvey’s smearing kisses trailed down your jaw to your neck. You arched up into his touch as his hands slipped under your t-shirt, palming and squeezing whatever skin he could reach. You reached down, hands fumbling with nerves and heat as you worked off his belt. 
Every time your mind began to race, Harvey managed to quiet it, with his teasing tongue, and nipping teeth, and grasping fingers. For all of his big talk about getting David disbarred, Harvey suddenly seemed to not give a damn about his own career—
You whined as Harvey yanked down the cup of your bra, knuckles toying with your pebbling nipple. You palmed his hardening cock through the soft fabric of his trousers, thrilling in his moan, and the press of his hips up against your touch. His fingers snaked beneath the band of your sweatpants, sweeping against your clit before swiping slower. 
“You’re already so goddamn wet,” He growled, easing a finger into you. You pressed into his touch, gritting your teeth as he goaded: “You like pissing me off this much?” 
“Condom?”
“Left pocket.” 
You reached into his pocket, brushing against his cock as you drew out the foil packet. Why wasn’t it tucked somewhere discreet, like his wallet? You pushed the thought away as you ripped the foil packet open with your teeth. Harvey let go of you just long enough to shove his pants down around his thighs, then push your sweatpants. 
“Turn around.” 
You passed him the condom before doing as you were told, leaning heavily against the door. You expected a stretch, but slick heat pressed between your spread thighs. Your mouth dropped open in a moan, eyes squeezing shut as Harvey lapped and laved your slick, heated skin. You reached back, fingers scrabbling to grasp the neat coif of his hair. 
“Harvey, damnit,” You gasped. “Just fuck me already.” 
He groaned in dissent, giving your lips one more sucking kiss before straightening fully. You felt one palm smooth over to your thigh, and saw the other rest against the door as he eased into you. Your lips parted with a gentle whine at the pleasurable throb of his cock stretching you. You planted your hand on the door beside his, steadying yourself as you adjusted.
He didn’t give you long. Harvey drew back before his hips snapped sharply. You pressed your cheek to the door, skin growing clammy between the flimsy particleboard and the hot panting of your breath. The harsh slam of his hips forced your body uncomfortably against the door. You let your eyes slide closed as Harvey’s hands covered yours, drawing them just above your head as he intertwined your fingers. The door rattled in the frame with each thrust. You whimpered as Harvey pressed his face into your neck, felt his hot breath and the rumble of his groans against your skin. 
Your thighs ached, and your heart pounded, and your cunt throbbed, and goddamn it felt so fucking good. 
The swell of your orgasm rose and crested sharply, and you didn’t bother to hide the shuddering of your moan, your grip tightening on Harvey's hands. He followed close behind, hips pounding and juddering before he slowed. The two of you stood still for a few long moments, listening to one another’s panting and coming down. Harvey carefully extricated your hands from yours, drawing away and leaving you half-bare and chilly against the door.
“...I need a beer,” Harvey muttered, voice hoarse.
“You left one on the counter.” 
“You want one?” 
“Yeah.” 
You reach down, tugging up your sweatpants as you gently peel yourself back from the door. 
“It’s probably going to be lukewarm,” Harvey warned.
“I don’t care.” You drew in a shaky breath as you walked back toward your bed. You’d already sworn that you wouldn’t let him into it. You lowered yourself to sit beside it, looking at the door as the swirl of confused thoughts shifted back to the fore. You watched Harvey tie off the condom and drop it into your trash bin. You tracked his movement—from cleaning up, to doing up his pants, to washing his hands. You didn’t bother to hide your open speculation as he opened another beer, then took the two up. You drew your legs together, biting your lip as your slick cunt pulsed.
Harvey lowered himself to sit beside you, holding a beer out and lightly knocking his against yours before you each took a drink. You winced a little at the taste. You should’ve listened to him—the taste of lukewarm beer was not appetizing. You saw Harvey reach up out of the corner of your eye as he loosened his tie. 
“...What was that about getting someone disbarred?” 
“Shuddup.” There was no heat to how he said it, and that was probably why it made you snort a laugh. 
“Harvey?” 
“What.” 
“Did you come over planning to fuck me?” 
“What?” 
“Why was there a condom in your pocket?” 
“I had a date.” 
Your brow furrowed as you took that in. 
“...When?”
“Tonight.” 
“Why aren’t you there?” 
“Because I’m here.” 
Harvey Specter broke a date. Harvey Specter broke a date for you. You leaned back against the bed again, biting the inside of your cheek to quell a wide grin. 
“Don’t read into it,” He added. 
“I’m not reading into anything…Apart from the fact that you seemed pretty sure you were going to get laid.” 
“I was.” 
“Arrange for that, did you?” 
“No need to arrange anything. I’m just good like that.” 
“Well. Can’t argue with that. For the record—” 
“What.” 
“You really have no say over who I do and don’t fuck.” 
“I know.” 
“Good.” 
“...You going to the Hamptons next weekend?” 
“Yeah.” “How are you getting up there?” 
“I was going to take the train.”
“I could give you a ride.” 
“You already have.” You cast Harvey a knowing smile, grin widening as he shot you a sidelong, unimpressed glance. Your smile turned to giggles as Harvey seemed to smile in spite of himself. 
“You really think we could stand to be in the car with one another for more than twenty minutes?” You prodded. 
“If not, we could always pull over and work out our differences.” 
“Pfft. No other weekend plans?” 
“Nope.” 
“Didn’t promise a rain check?” 
“Didn’t specify when it might happen.” 
“Mm. And why would you want to come with me?” 
“Steven could be watching those properties, waiting for you to turn up. You could benefit from having back up.” 
“You make it sound terribly sinister. Have you figured out how to bill Gstaad yet?” 
“I’m working on it.”
“Keep me updated.” 
“Sure.” 
“I don’t mean for, you know—I don’t want a vacation.”
“You’ve earned one.” 
“Whatever, I just don’t like to put something on the market without doing a walk-through myself.” 
“I understand.” 
You leaned back against the bed a little more heavily, gaze wandering toward the door, where a little bit of your makeup was smeared from the press of your cheek. 
“...Harvey?”
“Mm?��� 
“Can we talk about it?” 
“The sex or the other thing?” 
“The other thing.” 
“I’ve already had one fight with you today. I don’t think I have the capacity for two...Do you?”
You shook your head. 
“Some other time,” He promised. 
“Sure.” 
-- 
You had seen the paperwork and the inspector’s notes, but to see the house in the Hamptons was a whole other story. The long gravel driveway was lined with a horse fence on the left, and a plain wood fence on the right. You didn’t bother to hide your open, stunned stares as you passed the stables. It was hardly the first time you’d seen a home like it, but it was unfathomable that Steven seemed to have not only put the house in your name, but completely forgotten about it. 
Harvey pulled the car into the neatly manicured lot. 
“Do you want to start in the stables, the house, the pool, the tennis court…?” He shut the car off, waiting for your reply. You shook your head. 
“I only care about the house,” You admitted. 
“So we won’t be walking the expansive lawns? I brought my sneakers.” 
“Do I even want to know how expensive those sneakers are?” 
“They’re worth more than your apartment.” 
“I’m willing to believe that.” You climbed out of the car, eyeing the inspector’s report as you rounded toward the front steps. You turned from the paperwork to take in the house’s appearance more clearly. It was…Ugly. The large, L-shaped, gray-brick building had the modernistic development of the fast-casual apartment buildings in the city, with some of the gauche touches of your penthouse, like the expansive floor-to-ceiling covering nearly the entirety of the bottom of the floor. You could see a balcony on the left side of the house, and another around the other end of the L. 
“...This is different.” 
“It’s criminal,” You muttered. 
“Are you saying that because he forged your signature, or because it’s ugly as sin?” 
“Both. Come on.” 
You walked up to the front door, punching in the code that the realtor had given you to get the door open. 
The foyer was as flat and uninspired as the outside of the house—white marble floors, grey walls, and sterling silver furnishings. You grimaced as you looked around. 
“Are we doing a complete walk through of this millennial grey gulag?”
“If you’re going to hate it, you can wait in the car,” You offered, glancing toward Harvey. “Apparently there are fifteen bedrooms and nine bathrooms, and I don’t know how much of your cute commentary I can deal with today.” 
“Seemed to handle it fine in the car.” Harvey turned left before you could say or do anything else, and you followed him, looking down at the property’s map. 
“This place oughta have one of those fricking mall maps with a star labeled ‘You Are Here’,” You grumbled. 
“Now who’s making cute comments.” 
– 
“My feet hurt,” You groaned, plopping onto a boxy, stiff-cushioned couch. 
“You’d think after the last couple of months of living in that walk-up, you’d be in better shape.”
“You’d think.”
“It’s all those cheese fries.”
“Oh—shut up.” 
“So, what do you think?”
“I think we throw it on the market for 18 million and I forget that it ever existed.”
“Why list it in your name, though?”
You shrugged, looking around. “Maybe it was in both our names when he bought it and the outcome was such a disaster he decided to leave my name on it. I think he designed it.”
“Really?” Harvey’s brows rose as he looked around. 
“Oh, god yeah. Steven can be smart, but he’s never really had any design sense. I wound up taking charge on some of our early flip projects because he just didn’t have the eye for it. He always tried, but I kinda wound up following behind and fixing his messes. If I had to guess, he bought this place to show me that he really could do it, and he just…Can’t.”
“Do you think Cape Cod and Gstaad will be the same?” 
“Doubtful. The report for Cape Cod said that the house was originally built in 1950…what. Four?”
“Something like that.” 
“It looks like he gutted it like he did the apartment buildings and realized how much of a project it would be. Gave up on it.” 
“And Gstaad?” 
“Work out how to expense the trip and we can talk.”
Harvey chuckled, wandering closer. “Should we christen it?”
“Christen what?”
“This house.”
“How?”
Harvey’s brows waggled salaciously, and you laughed, pushing yourself off of the couch. “Oh no, Specter. No way—”
“Why not?”
“You wanna christen every room? You don’t have the stamina for that—And I don’t have the patience.” 
“What about just in here?” He curled his arm around your waist, drawing you closer. “On that stupid couch, over the piano…How about up against the windows?” His voice dropped to a murmur. “There’s no one around for miles.” 
You rolled your eyes despite your amusement. 
“If you said that with the Kubrick stare, I’d think you were going all Jack Torrence on me.”
“Heeeeeeeere’s Harvey.”
“Ugh! God, let’s just go,” You pushed out of Harvey’s arms, heading for the door. “It’s kinda creepy being here, you know. Like Steven’s watching.” 
“The house can’t be haunted, he’s not dead.” 
“He is to me.”
“When are you planning on going to Cape Cod?” 
“Mm…Probably next week.”
“Driving up?”
“Taking the train.”
“Again with the train.” 
“I don’t have a car and I’m not going to rent one.”
“Are you staying overnight?”
“No.”
“You’re going to go up and back on the train in one day? That is a long day.”
“I can handle it.” 
“You’d be more comfortable in a car.” 
“Yeah, obviously—Eyes on the road, Specter.” You reached out, poking his cheek as he glanced over at you. He batted your hand away lazily before turning back to the road. 
“Why do you always insist on doing things in the most difficult way possible?”
“Because in most cases, the most difficult choice is also the most cost-effective. Efficiencies can be cruel, Harvey.”
“Cruel is an understatement.” 
“I can handle a day on the train.”
“If you say so.” 
“I do say so, thank you.” 
“Stubborn.” 
“...Do you wanna come up when we get back to my place?”
“What for?” 
You tipped your head to the side, waiting for Harvey to glance over before you teasingly waggled your brows.
“Oh, so now you want to?” 
“I wanted to then! But I couldn’t do it if I felt Steven looming over me. C’mon, Specter,” You reached out, gently teasing your nails along the back of his neck, and grinning as he shifted slightly in his seat. “See if you can get me any more out of breath than walking up six flights of stairs.” 
--  
“Hey, there you are! Jessica needs to—What’s that face for?” Mike’s concern fell away at the sight of Harvey’s self-satisfied smile as he stepped off of the elevator. Harvey gave a dismissive shrug. What the hell was he going to tell Mike? That he’d spent the weekend somewhere other than his place? That he had fallen asleep with her, and remembered how serene it used to be to wake up with her? That they’d hardly left her cruddy apartment—hell, they’d hardly left her bed? 
“Nothing. What were you saying?” 
“Jessica needs to see you.” 
“Right now?” 
No sooner had the words left his mouth did Jessica step out from around the corner, drawing him up short. 
“Yes,” She insisted firmly. “Right now.” 
Harvey had the strange sense of a child being marched to the principal as she led her way to her office. She shut the door behind the two of them, striding past him to her desk. 
“Can this wait?” Harvey hedged. “I’ve got coffee going cold on my desk.” 
“Well then, I’ll make this quick. Did you have a nice time this weekend?"
That should've been his warning. It was a solid leading question, and one that, on any other Monday, he would not have hesitated to answer. His eyes narrowed slightly, before he decided—Yes, she must have known that he drove to the Hamptons. Someone would have told Jessica: Mike was still in the habit of offering updates when he thought they would be helpful.
"Yes," He finally answered.
"Was it a productive trip?"
A second warning. Jessica was a strategist, and Harvey knew that any lawyer worth a damn didn't ask a question that they didn't already know the answer to. Still, he chose a carefully middle-of-the-road answer:
"She was happy to go through the home herself, set a listing price. Hopefully we can get it on the market and on its way as soon as possible.”
Jessica took that in thoughtfully, lips set in a placid smile.
"Were there any outstanding features?"
A third and final warning, but Harvey couldn't help but lean into it:
"Are we talking about the tennis court, the pool, the stables, or the thousand lawns?"
Jessica let out a tepid, flatly amused, "Hm," Before beckoning him closer. "Well if those all caught your eye, it would explain why you missed the cameras."
Harvey froze in his step, blood running cold. There was no way—Cameras? His gaze dropped to the laptop that she turned to face him. The black and white footage was grainy, but clear enough. Harvey watched as he wrapped his arm around her, drawing her into his chest. He could still feel the heat of her body, and the plush slide of her sweater beneath his fingers. He could see the gentle, adoring way that she gazed up at him before she nudged him away, leading the charge out of the house. 
‘It’s kinda creepy being here, you know. Like Steven’s watching.’ He didn’t know how, but she had felt it. 
"Where did that come from."
"I'll give you three guesses."
"Let me explain—"
"Explain what!" Jessica slammed the laptop closed, rounding the desk with self-righteous strides. "Explain what idiotic idea led to you putting on a show?"
"We didn't know that there were cameras."
"How long has this been going on?"
"We only went to see that one house."
Jessica's expression darkened as she shook her head.
"Don't play dumb with me, Harvey," She warned lowly. "How long have you been sleeping with her."
It hit him low in the gut. For a moment, he was too stunned to speak.
"She told you?"
"No, she didn't tell me. She didn't have to. It'll be plain as day to anyone who sees that footage."
"That’s not true, we were just—"
"Just what?"
"I was teasing her! It didn't mean anything."
"If I call and ask her, she'll say the same thing?"
He was certain of it. "Yes."
"Would she swear to it under oath? At a deposition? In court?"
His surety faltered, and his mouth worked wordlessly before he pursed his lips tightly. Jessica shook her head again.
"I am not the only one with access to this. Luckily for you—for both of you—she still has a friend or two on the inside. Aaron Delaney sent this to me before he deleted the original. He works closely with Steven, and has access to a few property accounts. He got an alert on his phone that someone had used the keypad to open the door."
"Has Steven seen it?"
"He isn't sure, but I'm not willing to take that chance. Louis will be taking over the Hayward case, and Mike will be assisting him."
"No, Jessica, that's not happening."
"It is, because I'm telling you that it is. You should be relieved. You never wanted it in the first place."
"Things are different now."
"You're damn right they are! What the hell were you thinking? Both of you?"
"Let me see this case through."
"If you see this through and Hayward does have access to this footage, you could be disbarred. You're going to hand the files over to Louis by the end of the day. He is expecting them. Mike will bring him up to speed and assist him until this mess is cleared up."
Harvey lowered his gaze to the floor as Jessica stepped around him, opening the door and waiting beside it. He curled his hands into fists in his pockets as he strode resignedly from the office.
"And so help you," Jessica warned as he passed, "If I hear that you are holding Louis up in any way."
Harvey only made it a few feet from the office before he pulled his phone out of his pocket, hurriedly dialing her number. It rang once...Twice...Three times...And went to voicemail.
"Damnit," He hissed, lowering the phone to redial. "C'mon, c'mon..." It rang once, "Pick up." Twice...
"Hey you."
"Where are you?"
"What do you mean?" She laughed, "I'm on my way to see Jessica for our check-in."
Fuck.
"How close are you?"
"I just got off of the elevator. Why?"
Harvey whirled around, eyes desperately searching for her through the gaggle of associates, paralegals, and lawyers going about their business.
"She knows."
"What?"
He could hear her frown. Harvey took three steps toward the elevator bay before he saw her come into view—and lock eyes with Jessica. He saw her body go tense, before her shoulders sagged with dejection.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Hell," She sighed before hanging up.
--
"I'm not going to even begin to approach what you may have been thinking—"
"Jessica—"
"—Putting not only your future, Harvey’s future, and the future of this firm in jeopardy."
"I wasn't thinking."
"Clearly."
"We didn't even do anything at the house!"
"That doesn't make the slightest bit of difference."
You slid down in your seat as Jessica paced in front of you, her pace and turn reminiscent of a caged tiger.
"I did you a favor and this is how you repay me?" She finally stilled, nailing you with a cold gaze. You folded further under the crush of her look, so similar to the disbelief that she had leveled you with at her apartment not too long ago.
"I'm sorry."
"You should be." Jessica strode around her desk. "Your case has been reassigned to Louis Litt. Mike will stay on, provided you haven't fucked him, too."
Christ. "I made a mistake, alright? I told you I was sorry, and I meant it," You insisted. "Don't bring Mike into this when he hasn't done anything wrong."
Jessica bristled as she lowered herself into her seat.
"I don't want you associating with Harvey until this is over."
"Oh—Come on."
"If this footage were to come out, Harvey's conduct and ethics will be called into question. He'll be dragged into your divorce proceedings. Is that what you want?"
Your stomach churned uneasily as you considered it. You knew she was right. You shook your head a little, trying desperately to swallow past the lump that was forming in your dry throat.
"Louis and Mike will be in touch."
"Okay." You turned, heading for her office door, and stopping just before you opened it.
"...Is now a bad time to remind you that bringing Harvey onto my case was your idea?"
The chilling glare that she leveled with answered for her: Yes. It was a very bad time to remind her.
--
“You slept with—” 
“Shut the door and keep your voice down,” Harvey warned stonily. Before either of them could move toward his office door, Donna hurried into view, reaching for the handle. 
“You don’t wanna hear this?” Mike’s brows rose. “You of all people?” 
Donna waved him away, offering, “Intercom,” Before she shut the door. Harvey sighed heavily, lowering himself into his chair. 
“What happened?” Mike stepped closer to the desk. “I’m just—You two hate each other.” 
“Thank you for the reminder. I forgot about that.” 
“Harvey, c’mon,” Mike shook his head as he tried (and failed) to keep from smiling. “What happened?” 
“I went over to hang out.” 
“At her apartment?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Okay, and? Instead of hanging out you…Let it all hang out?” 
“Get out of my office.”
“If that was at her apartment, what happened in the Hamptons?” 
“Nothing happened in the Hamptons. The footage just…We got close, that’s all.” 
“That’s not enough to disbar you.” 
“Because you’re the expert on being disbarred? It’s enough to call my ethics into question…And Jessica’s right, no one needs that headache right now.”  
“So I’m stuck with Louis because you got close? Where’s the Specter spirit? No way are you going to watch this one from the sidelines.” 
On any other case, no, he wouldn’t. Harvey would insist on backseat driving. But on this one…He grimaced, dropping his gaze to his desk. 
“I want regular updates,” He insisted. “That’s all.” 
Mike nodded slowly, conceding: “Okay. But I’ll be ready when you change your mind.” 
-- 
"I'll come over."
He sounded so positive about it—like nothing had happened, or changed. You eyed the remaining trash bags, trying to scrounge up the conviction of an excuse. 
"I don't think that's a good idea right now."
"Why not?"
You know why. You shifted your phone from one hand to the other, tucking it between your shoulder and your ear as you reached out, gripping a bag to make it crinkle loudly.
"I've still got some sorting to do."
"I'll help you."
"Not tonight, Harvey."
"...She's not in charge of us, you know."
You tipped your head back against your wall, closing your eyes. "She's actually very much in charge of you."
"At work."
"I know, but I just..." You winced. "I think she's right. We should lay low for a while. If Steven did see that video before Aaron sent it to Jessica, we're both going to have a whole new mess that we're stepping into."
"I'm ready for it."
"...I don't know if I am."
His silence on the other end made you want to crawl out of your skin. "I can only fight one battle at a time, Harvey—And right now, I'm barely managing the big ones."
"Fine."
You knew that fine coming from him. It wasn't fine. It was I'm shutting down. It was I'm finished with this conversation. It was I'm finished with you.
"Harvey—"
You lowered the phone from your ear as the line cut off, watching the inevitable flashing and darkening of his contact. You bit the inside of your cheek, fighting back a fresh wave of tears. How, after all this time, was Harvey Specter still able to make you cry?
-- 
You became solitary again. Life narrowed. You saw Aaron a time or two, but he was so busy either working or gathering intel that you were hardly able to keep up with him. For as much of a lifeline as she had been, Jessica was still pissed, and you hardly spoke more than you needed to. Mike was a dear, checking in to see how you were doing, but most correspondence led inevitably to discussing closings, proceedings, contracts (and you couldn’t blame him for it; he was only doing his job). 
Louis was…A lot. He was very eager, that was clear, and had been working hard to push the sales of the apartment buildings and the home in the Hamptons through. David and his firm were digging into discovery, and were making headway. 
But you had so little life outside of your divorce. Most of your pieces were sold off, so you hardly had any day-to-day tasks to keep you busy—and everything in New York was so goddamn expensive. It felt like you spent $50 just stepping out your front door. There were days when you simply didn’t. It was cheaper to stay in, and quieter (so long as your neighbors didn’t have a screaming match that day).
Your life was four walls, a cruddy bed, rickety furniture. You spent too much time awake when you should’ve been sleeping; too much time reminiscing when you should have been moving on; too much time dwelling on the time that you spent with men in your life that probably wouldn’t spare you another thought. 
--  
Walking back into the firm was uncomfortable. You’d avoided it for as long as you could, but Mike insisted that there were a few documents that absolutely had to be seen and signed in the office. You’d made it an entire three weeks without so much as getting anywhere near the building. You found yourself avoiding even glancing in the direction of Jessica’s office. It was alright, though—Donna was a smiling, comforting presence the second you stepped off of the elevator. 
“Find the place alright?” She teased. 
“I did, thank you. I’ve only been here a dozen times in the last couple of months.” 
“It’s been a few weeks. We thought you’d forgotten where we were.” 
You smiled tightly. You were certain that she knew everything that had gone on—she was the eyes and ears of the place. 
“You know, it’s the funniest thing,” You drawled sarcastically, “I kept coming to the right building and getting off on the wrong floor.” 
“Happens to the best of us. C’mon.” 
You frowned as she led you away from the usual conference rooms, and even further away from Louis’ office. You couldn’t imagine where the heck she was taking you—and your confusion deepened as she opened the door to a room lined with files. She nodded you inside, a knowing smile on her lips as she warned: 
“Two minutes.” 
Two minutes? Until what?
“Thanks, Donna.” Harvey’s voice made you freeze, and you could do nothing but watch Donna close the door behind herself. You looked down at the floor, your hands wringing as you heard Harvey come closer. You felt him stop close behind you, close enough to feel the heat of him.
“...Are you going to look at me?” He hedged softly. 
“No need. I know what you look like.” 
He sighed softly, stepping around to stand in front of you. You watched as his shoes and pant legs came into view. 
“...And you’re just going to look at my shoes now?” 
“They’re nice shoes. Look expensive.” 
“They are.” 
“Figures.” 
“I’m sorry.” 
You looked at him fully, finally, stunned. You were surprised at how drawn he looked. Sure, his suit was impeccable, and his hair was frustratingly perfect, but you could see tiredness around his eyes. 
“You’re going through hell right now,” Harvey went on, “You don’t need me to pile on to that. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” 
You nodded slowly as you took it all in. “Well. We should never have, um…” You cleared your throat, averting your gaze again. “It was stupid.” 
“You regret it?” 
“It’s not worth risking your career over.” 
“That’s not what I asked.” Harvey closed the space between the two of you, and you had to force yourself not to lean into him the way you wanted—the way you’d missed for weeks. 
“Harvey,” You warned softly. “I can’t keep playing tug of war with you like this. I’m already at the end of my damn rope.” 
“I know.” 
You closed your eyes at the feeling of his palms sliding warmly over your arms, trailing down until he could gently intertwine your fingers. 
“I’ll be on my best behavior,” He promised, “Until we’re on the other side of this, and your business with the firm is closed out.” 
“And then what?” 
“And then I’ll give you hell.” You spluttered a laugh, unable to help it. Harvey chuckled softly, his nose nudging yours gently. 
“I should go,” You warned softly. “Louis will come looking for me.” 
“Donna will keep him at bay.” 
“She said two minutes. It’s been at least three—” You hardly had time to finish your protestation before Harvey kissed you. You swayed into him, lips slipping tenderly against his as he used his grasp to draw you flush against him. You wiggled your hands from his, curling your arms around his shoulders to keep close. You startled at the two knocks on the door, and smiled as Harvey groaned in irritation. 
“I should let you go,” He mumbled. You nodded, murmured,
“Probably.” 
But neither of you rushed to move. 
-- 
“I'm sorry to see you go. I've enjoyed our time together."
You sort of believed it, given the pinched, almost pained look that Louis leveled you across the desk. And, for all of your work with him over the last three months, you'd gained a sort of affinity for the man...Even if he was a little intense in a way that sometimes confused you. You smiled, taking up the final few documents that you would need for your record.
"I appreciate that, and thank you for all of your hard work, Mr. Litt. It's been..." You weighed your words carefully, "Interesting."
"For me, too. Reach out if you need anything else—doc review, mover recommendations, tickets to the ballet. Anything."
"Tickets to the ballet? I'm impressed." You held your hand out, smiling as he stood and pumped it enthusiastically. "Thank you again."
You were hardly four steps out of Louis' office when you found yourself flanked in the hallway.
"We should celebrate," Harvey insisted.
"And how would we do that?"
"Dinner at La Belle Vache."
Your brows rose as you glanced toward Mike.
"’The beautiful cow’?"
"Harvey's idea."
"With a restaurant name like that, it would have to be."
"Hey, that is not fair! I could be posh."
"It wouldn't suit you, Mr. Ross."
"Is that a yes or a no to dinner?" Harvey plied.
"When?"
"You busy tonight?"
"If I told you I had plans, would you believe me?"
"Not for a second."
"Well, I do."
"Cancel 'em."
"It's with my divorce lawyer."
"And here feels like a good stopping point for me." Mike wheeled around, striding back in the direction that he came.
"What the hell does David want with you after hours?" 
"Deposition starts next week. We're drilling testimony."
"As long as that's all he's drilling."
"Watch it, Specter." You reached out, jabbing the down button on the elevator before turning back to Harvey. He pouted contemplatively before offering: "What about this weekend?"
"I think I could swing this weekend. Is dinner on the firm?"
"It's on me."
"Do you think..." You trailed off, glancing toward Jessica's office, "That the powers that be will approve?"
"Honestly?" Harvey lowered his voice,"I don't give a damn. It's been months. Your business here is wrapped. If Jessica wants to give me a good reason why I can't see you, she's welcome to try—but it won't work."
You bit the inside of your cheek to quell a smile as you reached out, gently straightening Harvey's tie.
"Very forceful, Mr. Specter."
"You like it?"
"It's kinda hot." You turned back and stepped onto the elevator as it chimed.
"This weekend," You finally agreed. "Invite Mike—He's earned several dinners."
"He sure has."
The doors began to close, but Harvey darted in, catching them before they could shut all the way. He darted in, pressing a swift, warm kiss to your lips before he drew away again. You grinned as he stepped back, allowing the doors to close.
--
"As long as that's all he's drilling."
The memory of Harvey's teasing warning was on your mind throughout your time with David, and you found yourself fighting back smiles all evening.
"Do you have any plans for the weekend?"
David watched you from beneath his lashes as he asked, and where that look had intrigued you once, you knew better. You gave a short, firm nod, and insisted: "I have a date."
Your battle with Steven was far from over. You still had forgery cases pending, and your divorce case had hardly begun. But things felt a little lighter these days.
You had a direction, you had cash flow...But you didn't quite have the plan that you once did. You had told Harvey months ago that you were considering moving to Cambridge. It hadn’t completely ceased to be true, but it wasn’t your only consideration anymore. 
There were moments when you could see the glimmer of a life to carve out for yourself: a smaller real estate firm with a few employees—maybe Aaron, if you could lure him away from Steven; a more comfortable apartment than where you were now, but you could live with where you were for a few more months as you got things in order; and, at the very least, a friendship with Harvey. You didn’t know if what the two of you were doing would be sustainable, and you weren’t sure whether either of you really wanted to know—but after all this time, you thought that maybe the two of you deserved another chance. 
--  
“Impressed?” 
It was a fair question, but you were doing your best to school your expression. You didn’t want Harvey to know outright how much you did like his apartment. It was nothing less than you expected—large (though not quite in the palatial way that your old penthouse was), tastefully decorated, with a gorgeous view. You knew why Harvey had brought you up, of course, but now he was just showing off. 
Dinner had been its own round of grandstanding. You and Mike had watched, bemused, as Harvey had gone out of his way to pronounce all of the dishes in a French accent to the clearly not French (but feigning awe) waiter (who you were sure had to deal with this multiple times a day). Harvey had also taught you and Mike a thing or two about wine—or he had tried to, until Mike seemed no longer able to help himself and corrected Harvey on multiple facts about the Rhône valley in the south of France. 
It had been a far more pleasant evening that you had expected to have, and far more jovial than you’d had in a long time. Mike and Harvey were close; you and Harvey had a history; you and Mike had become friends over the course of your time working with him. When Mike had insisted that you all had to do this again sometime, you believed that he meant it. And when Harvey had invited you both up for a nightcap, Mike had politely declined with a smile and a shake of his head, offering:
“I think I should let you two have some time to do…Whatever it is that you need to do.” 
You hadn’t been entirely sure what he’d meant, or what Harvey had told him. You were almost certain that he would’ve been told why Harvey had been taken off of your case in the first place. And sure, now and again, over dinner, you and Harvey had caught one another’s eye, maybe shared a smile. Maybe he’d rested his hand on your knee a time or two, given it a squeeze—because he could. Because the two of you were close and on even footing for the first time in a while. 
“It’s…” You trailed off, shrugging. “Certainly an apartment.” 
“Oh, please,” Harvey scoffed, taking two wine glasses down from the cabinet. “You’re impressed.” 
“It’s nicer than I thought it would be.” 
“You’re dazzled.” 
“I like the kitchen.” 
“You’re helplessly turned on.” 
“‘Helplessly’ is pushing it.” 
“So you admit that you’re turned on?” 
You rolled your eyes, no longer bothering to fight your smile off. 
“Maybe,” You offered, settling onto the couch and kicking off your shoes. Harvey joined you moments later, passing you a glass of wine and gently clinking his against yours before you each took sips. His gaze remained heavy on yours, and he leaned in for a gentle kiss as soon as you lowered your glass. You hummed, raising a hand and cupping his jaw. You leaned back just a touch, smiling as he crowded closer, dipping his head to brush kisses along your neck as his warm palm gently smoothed up your thigh. 
“...Harvey?” 
“Sure, I can show you the bedroom.” 
You laughed softly, shaking your head a little. “Can we talk about it?” 
He groaned, forehead dropping heavily against your shoulder. “Why do you always insist on ruining a perfectly good time?” 
“Like when?”
“Like when we were in the Hamptons.” 
“You thank your lucky fucking stars that I put a stop to that.” 
“Yeah,” He grumbled, leaning back. You watched him swirl his wine in his glass. 
“Please,” You pleaded softly. 
“...I didn’t write the note.” 
Fuck. 
“Okay.” 
“I wrote a note, but…Not that one.” 
“Who wrote that one?” 
“Scottie.” 
“...Okay.” 
“I couldn’t find the one I’d written, she insisted that I couldn’t leave you with nothing.” 
“Well, she was right.” 
“Yeah.” 
You that that sink in for a moment before you pressed: “Why did you leave?”
“I had doubts.” 
“About me?” 
“About us. You know how my parents were, you know…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “You know what I saw.” 
“And you thought I would do that to you?” 
“I was afraid of it.” 
“If you were afraid of it, then you thought I was capable of it.” 
“—And when you got married to Steven so quickly—” 
“Oh—!” The heavy, stunned, indignant laugh was pained as it left you. You pushed off of the couch, standing and walking out of Harvey’s reach. You heard him sigh heavily behind you, chased by the clink of him setting his wine glass down as he muttered, “This is why I didn’t want to talk about this.” 
“Do you know why I got married so quickly?” You whirled around to face him. 
“Because you loved Steven?” 
“I never said that. I thought I loved him a bit, sure, but I was afraid that this,” You waved a finger between the two of you, “Would happen again. I thought he would leave. I was afraid that I would spend my entire life being left. So when Steven showed me the slightest bit of attention, I latched on. We eloped. He wanted a big wedding, but I just,” You waved your hand around, “I couldn’t do that a second time. Any of it. I didn’t get a new dress, neither of our families were there, because I knew that they would all watch me, and him, and they’d be thinking it: Is it going to happen again?” 
“You’re saying your entire life with Steven was my fault?” 
“I’m saying that I made a choice, and that what happened with you was a factor—Not a fault, a factor. And why!” You let out another harsh hysterical laugh as tears welled in your eyes, “Why didn’t you just talk to me? What did I do then to make you think that you couldn’t talk to me?”
“I wasn’t ready!” 
“And we could have talked about that! What made you think that I wouldn’t have been alright with moving the wedding back, or going to counseling with you, or whatever you would have needed to get us there?”
“You wanted to get married.”
“I wanted you, Harvey! I would have waited, I—” You turned away, sniffling heavily as tears slipped from your eyes. “Fuck. Ugh.” You raised your glass, draining it before striding over the counter, desperate to put some more distance between the two of you. You set the glass down and yanked a paper towel off of the roll, swiping at your under eyes to clear away any running mascara. You blew your nose as well before balling up the tissue and lobbing it toward the trash can. You heard Harvey’s approaching footsteps, and you pulled in a deep, stuttering breath as he rested his hands on your shoulders. 
“...There’s no way for me to take back or change what I did.” 
“Would you if you could?” 
“Yes.”
“...Okay.” 
“Do you believe me?” 
“I don’t know.” 
He sighed, pressing a kiss to the back of your head as his hands soothingly rubbed over your arms. You sniffled again, swiping away a stray tear before resting your hands on the counter. 
“You changed the way that I love, Harvey,” You shook your head. “For better or worse, whether you meant to or not, you changed it.” You glanced back toward him. “I can’t get those bits of myself back. You took them from me.” 
“I know. I took them from both of us.” 
You nodded, slowly letting yourself lean back against him. His arms curled around your middle, and you heard a soft, almost relieved groan leave him. You let your eyes close as he pressed a kiss to your temple. The two of you stood there in silence for a few moments, allowing yourselves to settle. 
“...Stay tonight?” He murmured after a few moments. You nodded, smiling as his hold tightened on you again, as if wary that you would change your mind. 
-- 
He had a few more smile lines. His hair still mussed the same; he still made little mumbling noises as he slowly rose from sleep to consciousness. He was still a furnace to sleep beside, and he still held you through the night. It was almost a relief that none of that had changed. 
Waking up in his arms made you feel like it had when you were younger: safe, and loved, and wanted. You hadn't appreciated it when you'd had it just a few months ago, but you were desperate to catch on to every little bit of him now.
You were never going to be able to turn back the hands of time—to go back and warn him, or yourself, or someone that your first wedding day would be a disaster, that it would set you off on a path that you could never have anticipated for yourself. Discussing what had happened hadn't truly healed any of your old wounds.
But as the sun began to creep over the Manhattan skyline and seep into Harvey’s bedroom, you felt closer to peace than you had in a long, long time. 
Harvey snuffled, nuzzling your shoulder as his fingers curled in your borrowed nightshirt. 
“You awake?” He mumbled, the same low, gravely murmur that you had once loved, and missed. 
“Mmmhm.” 
“Want coffee?” 
“Yes.” 
He yawned widely, pressing his face into your shoulder and warming your skin through the fabric. “Bagels?” 
“Sure.” 
“‘Kay.” 
Neither of you made a move to get either. Instead, you combed your fingers through his hair, closed your eyes, and listened to the steady rise and fall of his breathing as you both fell back asleep. 
Tag list: @missredherring ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @blueeyesatnight ; @amneris21 ; @ew-erin ; @youngkenobilove ; @carbonated-beverage​​​ ; @lorecraft ; @moonlightburned ; @milf-trinity ; @millllenniawrites ; @chattychell ; @dihra-vesa​ ; @videogamesandpoorlifechoices​ ; @missswriter ; @thembosapphicclown ; @brandyllyn ; @wildmoonflower ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink ; @mad-girl-without-a-box ; @winchestershiresauce ; @gina239 ; @technicallykawaiisoul ; @coldheart-lonelysoul ; @kathrinemelissa ; @jacxx2 ; @pillowjj ; @chanaaaannel ; @avampirescholar ; @kmc1989 ; @mythical-goth ;
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queenimmadolla · 1 year
Text
𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃
(dad!eddie x mom/pregnant!reader)
*NOT Mature, SFW — incorrectly flagged
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𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏 ─ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐 ─ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟑 • more of the pennyverse here.
Summary: . . . After almost losing you in a scare related to your preterm labor, Eddie is reluctant to meet his newborn son, whose life still remains on the line, until some convincing from you. warnings: angst, a whole lot of angst, near death experience, difficult pregnancy, early labor, preterm birth, talk of loss of infants, birth defects, happy ending.
a/n: congrats on making it to part two! we still have quite a bit of angst to get through but we're almost through the storm! this part (even though i wrote Wayne's World as a whole) was my favorite to write, and i'm sure you'll be able to guess why. word count is 6k. good luck and happy reading! and for the people mad about the long post, sorry, had the 'keep reading' tab on but it kept fucking with the format and eating chunks of it. you're gonna have to scroll. let me know what you think? ◡̈
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Hours passed by, Penny had fallen asleep in his lap again and so had most of his friends with the exceptions of Jonathan who looked like he could really use the sleep, Eden and Wayne. Steve would snap awake every once and a while, careful not to jostle his sleeping girlfriend. Nancy was asleep on Jonathan’s shoulder while Argyle used Eden’s lap for a pillow. Barb and Robin were hanging off chairs in the most uncomfortable looking positions, Robin’s snores almost painful sounding. The ‘kids’ (teenagers) had been picked up by their parents, only agreeing to go home if they could come back to wait with him first thing in the morning. 
  Eddie didn’t rest for a single second, mind torturing him with horrible, horrible thoughts. One played in his mind on loop; he was holding Penny as he walked out of the hospital. They were on their own.
  It held him captive, he hadn’t even noticed your doctor approaching him until she gently placed a hand on his shoulder.
  “Mr. Munson?”
  Wayne and Eddie traded quick glances and he handed Penny over, trying not to disturb her too much in his rush but she just curled up to Wayne.
  Eddie stood up, already feeling lightheaded. That voice in his head that had been torturing him whispered something cruel to him, enough to make him want to cease existing: maybe you, somewhere in this hospital, already gone and he didn’t know it. Was she about to confirm his worst fears?
  “I apologize for the fright we gave you. Your wife started hemorrhaging and she lost a lot of blood.”
  Yeah. Eddie’s world was ending. It was over.
  “But we were able to stop the bleeding and get her a transfusion. She’s stable and she’s going to be just fine.”
  The relief was almost crippling, the heaviest weight he’d ever felt on him was lifted. Eddie wanted to cry, he squeezed his eyes shut again, trying to compose himself before he broke down in front of another doctor.
  “We have her in a room, probably hold her for a couple of nights, depending on her recovery. Would you like to go see her?”
  “Yeah, yes, please.” He nodded rapidly, wiping furiously at his eyes. 
  Dr. Eisenberg nodded and began walking down the hall, “If you’ll follow me.”
  Eddie turned, ready to ask Wayne to look after Penny when Wayne cut him off, “Go. I'll let ‘em all know she’s okay and send ‘em home. They probably won’t be able to see her tonight or in the mornin’, but I’ll stick around. Let me know when I can come on up.”
  Eddie wanted to hug him, but he really needed to see you. 
  “Thank you, Wayne. For everything.” Then he was scrambling after Dr. Eisenberg, who had stopped to wait for him.
  The walk to your hospital room had Eddie ready to tear his hair out, he’d wanted to just ask your doctor for your room number so he could sprint the rest of the way because her pace was much too slow. He was desperate to get to you, to make sure you were really still alive.
  “Here we are,” she stated, pushing your room door open. “Hello, again, Mrs. Munson. I brought someone who’s been waiting for you.”
  Eddie’s breath hitched as Dr. Eisenberg stepped to the side and he finally saw you, eyelids heavy from whatever sedation you were still trying to pull yourself from, and a smile on your face that only widened when you locked eyes. 
  “Hi, baby,” you slurred, sleepy little smile not going anywhere. And neither were you. 
  The rush of emotions he was experiencing was too much, he burst into tears where he stood as Dr. Eisenberg closed the door behind her on her way out. 
  “Eddie…” you mumbled out, reaching the hand lacking an IV out to him. 
  Of course you were trying to comfort him, you were the one confined to a hospital bed, having just barely survived a traumatic birth and you were still trying to comfort him because you were perfect. 
  He slowly approached your bed, hot tears—he was surprised his body could even still produce more tears given how much he’d cried in the last few hours alone—streaming down his cheek. Eddie really did collapse when he reached you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.
  You wrapped your arms around him, holding him to your chest as best as you could, though you had no idea why he was crying, brain too hazy.
  Eddie didn’t sob, just silently shook as he wet your neck, inhaled your scent, felt your warm skin and pulse beating beneath his lips. He hadn’t lost you, you were still here.
  Ideally, he’d be holding you and squeezing you hard enough to ensure you’d never leave his arms again, but even in his emotional hysteria, he was mindful of your condition.
  Eddie pulled away, large hands framing your face as he pressed desperate kisses all over your face, making sure every inch was caressed with his love before he focused on your lips, mouth meshing messily against yours.
  You could taste the salt of his tears, feel a couple of stray ones catching where your lips met. While he may have been feeling a mixture of emotions, all you could feel right then was content and still a bit sleepy from the anesthesia.
  When Eddie felt he’d conveyed his love for you sufficiently, he pulled away, a wet and hoarse chuckle escaping him when he realized you could barely keep your eyes open.
  “You sleepy, baby?”
  “Mhmm.”
  “Get some rest, sweetheart,” Eddie’s thumb stroked over your bottom lip before resting over the center of it, “just, please wake up.”
  “Okay,” you mumbled, eyes already shut. Still, you managed to press a kiss to his thumb before you slipped into a blissful slumber.
  While you slept, Eddie had one of the nurses phone up the waiting room and sent Wayne. The poor man looked exhausted, but the relief on his face was evident when he saw you sleeping peacefully. 
   He looked like he wanted to cry, too. Instead, he just cleared his throat, blinked to keep the tears away and spoke low so as to not disturb you or the sleeping toddler in his arms.
  “Everythin’ alright?”
  “With her?” Eddie’s red rimmed gaze drifted back to you, focused on the rise and fall of your chest. Still breathing, “Yeah.”
  Wayne nodded once and they both stood there in silence for a few minutes as the world began to turn again. Something still wasn’t right, felt wrong. He could tell by the tension his boy still had, arms crossed as he crouched in the seat next to your bed. 
  “And the baby?”
  Eddie flinched as if Wayne had shot a gun off in the air rather than mention his son.
  “I don’t know.”
  Wayne watched him with a careful eye, Eddie looked almost like he was vibrating from the force at which his leg was shaking, even your hospital bed appeared to be affected by it, though not nearly enough to disturb you.
  As much as he wanted to comfort him, for once, Wayne didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to say and he had an inkling that anything that came out of his mouth wouldn’t be heard by Eddie. He was lost in the dark crevices of his own mind. 
  The most he could do was offer to give him some alone time, he was sure his boy wasn’t keen on others sticking around right now, even him. 
  “I’ll take Penny home, me and Maude’ll watch her.” 
  Eddie shook his head, a look of panic flashing over his face, “No, that’s alright. She can stay with me.”
  Wayne was reluctant, mouth set in a frown. Penny was a good girl, usually, but he didn’t know if Eddie could really handle her along with processing everything going on around him.
  “Really, we wouldn’t mind─”
  “I need her.” 
  That shut Wayne right up, he and Eddie shuffled to exchange Penny from his arms to her dad’s without waking her. She stirred momentarily then shoved her face into Eddie’s neck, her little body falling slack once more.
  Wayne gave his shoulder a good squeeze, ran his hand gently over Penny’s back before he leaned down—and in a rare show of affection—pressed a brief kiss to your forehead.
  As he was walking out of the room, Eddie felt the panic crawling down his throat again. He croaked out a broken, “Wayne─”
  Wayne paused in the doorway, turning to acknowledge Eddie but his nephew didn’t continue, just looked scared. For a moment, Wayne was caught off guard, sucking in a breath as his boy looked young for the first time in a couple of years. 
  Now, he knew you and Eddie were young. He’d been aware of it when you got together, aware of it when you told him you were pregnant with Penny but sometime after that, he stopped seeing your age, stopped seeing Eddie’s as the two of you grew up for her. Now, right then, he remembered with startling clarity that Eddie wasn’t even twenty-five. He looked so young because he was.
  Eddie didn’t have to say anything else because Wayne knew exactly what he wanted him to say.
  Wayne nodded slowly, mouth pressing into a firm line of determination, “Everything’s gonna be alright, kid.”
  Eddie choked up, held Penny a little tighter and Wayne went on his way.
  He found himself settling back into the seat he’d dragged near your bed, cradling Penny as she remained blissfully unaware and drooling on his scrub top.
  Wayne wasn’t wrong, she’d probably be a little too much for him but she was his kid, it wasn't like he could just hand her off to people when life came at him like this and he really did need her right now. Again.
  You were here and whole, but somewhere else in this hospital, a member of his little family was still slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t let the other one out of his sight, couldn’t lose her, too.
  Once more, Eddie remained restless as the hours passed. He sat in mostly silence. He’d turned on the tv near your bed, the volume high enough to drown out the sounds of the hospital outside of the room but much too low to wake you. Rain trilled against the windows, much more gentle than it had been earlier. The storm had also passed, and if there was even an ounce of humor in him, he would have been amused with how this storm seemed to fester like a black cloud looming over him. 
  It’d been a normal day up until he’d gone to Lucas’ birthday party, but he’d been skeptical about leaving you, worried something would happen. The metaphorical little black cloud formed over him, as a result, and so did the actual black clouds, quickly calling for wind and rain at high speeds. 
  And when Eddie had found out you were okay, you were alive, his black cloud disappeared, though it left behind damage and a cold atmosphere. The real storm had also run its course, leaving behind weather that reflected exactly how Eddie felt.
  Penny squirmed in his grasp, and he realized he’d tensed up so he quickly relaxed, shifting her into a more comfortable position in his hold. 
  “Why don’t you give her to me?”
  Eddie’s head snapped over to you, surprised to find you awake, somewhat lucid and watching him with a small smile on your face.
  “Because you just had your insides removed and put back in,” He smirked, another wave of relief washing over him. You’d woken up, you really were okay. You weren’t going to leave him.
  You rolled your eyes, making a vague hand gesture to brush the subject off, clearly the surgeons hadn’t removed your sass.
  “She’s tiny and there’s more than enough room on here for both of us.” You hissed as you slowly shimmied your way to the side of the bed and Eddie frowned.
  “Okay, how about you don’t move so we can limit the amount of heart attacks you give me today, yeah?” You knew Eddie must have been worried so you didn’t take the lack of humor behind his words and the tension on his face personally. 
  A quick glance at the clock confirmed your suspicions, “It’s three in the morning, Eddie. New day, but I’ll keep my antics to a minimum.”
  Insistently, you patted the spot next to you, perfectly Penny sized and high enough to guarantee she wouldn’t accidentally move against your incision.
  With a sigh, Eddie complied, gathering his daughter up. Tensing up disturbed her but full on moving her didn’t, most likely used to being carried into your home after she’d fallen asleep in her car seat or on the couch.
  She didn’t stir when he laid her down, either. You both had to rearrange her limbs into a more comfortable position, one that didn’t make it look like she was possessed. Once Eddie tucked her in, he let out another sigh and cast you an apologetic look, big brown eyes wide, glassy and full of sorrow.
  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” It was the last thing you deserved after what you’d gone through.
  The sincerity in his voice almost hurt you, it was heavy, as though it carried more weight than just a simple apology for his tone. 
  You held out your hand and Eddie immediately slipped his over it, locking his fingers with yours, squeezing as his breath hitched. 
  Your hand was so warm and soft. At one point in the last twenty-four hours, he’d thought he’d never get to feel it again, never get to hold your hand or see your pretty face. Never get to say…
  “I love you,” he blurted out, the panic he’d felt earlier when he couldn’t remember the last time he’d said those three words to you climbed right out of his belly, trying to claw its way out of his chest. Eddie took in a shuddering breath, head shaking as a hot tear escaped its confinement, trailing down his cheek. He moved to the other side of the hospital bed, so he wouldn’t crush Penny, and took your face in his hands, pressing a passionate kiss to your lips, hoping he was able to convey just how much he loved you.
  He needed you to know.
  “Eddie,” you mumbled as he pulled away, only to hide himself in the crook of your neck again. You could feel his tears against your skin and it alarmed you. “I love you, too, baby. What’s wrong?”
  “I thought I was going to lose you,” he confessed and you felt your heart seize up, “I thought I was gonna lose you twice in the same damn day. I was so fucking scared, sweetheart.” 
  When he’d been driving to the hospital, there had been a moment when he wondered if you’d still be breathing when he got there. It made him want to throw up so he quickly squashed it and forced it to the back of his head. It hadn’t been ideal when he’d entered the operation room, he didn’t like seeing you get cut open but it was comforting to see he’d overreacted. You were getting a c-section, you weren’t on your deathbed.
  Until you had been. 
  And for the second time that day, he thought you were going to die, thought he’d somehow cruelly manifested this for you and himself.
  “I’m alright, Eddie.” You freed your hand, grabbing his to cradle your cheek with. 
  “See? I’m okay. You didn’t lose me, you’re not going to.” Eddie pulls away from his hiding spot to stare down at you, the wounded puppy look still firmly in place so you add a little humor, hoping to get a smile out of him, “There’s no way I’m checking out this early, I can’t risk you moving on when you look this good.”
  Eddie’s hand was so big his fingers were tucked into your hair, his palm alone took up most of your cheek. His fingertips lightly massaged the area of your scalp available to him as the hurt on his face morphed into an earnest look, somehow more vulnerable.
  “There’s no moving on from you, you’re taking my soul, my heart, all of it with you when you go. You’re the love of my life, my everything. And that—fuck, it terrifies me because I’d still have Penny to take care of and I wouldn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know how to pull myself out of it, if it’d even be possible and quite frankly, I don’t ever want to fucking find out.”
  Eddie was more than happy to have those types of questions remain unanswered for the rest of his life.
  “You’d be able to do it, I know you would. You would be able to take care of Penny and the baby.” You knew he would, your husband would pull himself out of his depression to make sure your children were okay because of how much he loved them, despite his grief.
  Eddie flinched, something you were quick to clock. You didn’t need to ask, he could see the question reflecting in those beautiful eyes of yours. 
  He had to break the news. You were already in a frail condition and he had to tell you the baby you’d almost died to have, your son, might still die.
  “Honey, the baby—he—fuck, he’s uh…there’s something wrong with his heart.”
  The way your face plummeted shattered something inside of him. 
  “What?”
  “He’s got a hole in his heart, the doctor said it was pretty common amongst heart defects but since he was born so early, it’d be difficult to medicate him or perform an operation. All they can do is keep him under observation, he still might not make it because of how young he is.”
  You squeezed your eyes shut, head dropping back to meet your pillow as you tried, and failed, not to cry. Why was this happening? You blamed yourself, why hadn’t you been able to keep him in your belly? Why had your own body betrayed you? Why had you failed your baby?
  “This is all my fault,” you declared, eyes and cheeks growing wet with your tears.
  “No, no, sweetheart.” Eddie was not about to let you take the blame for something out of your control or even allow you to believe any of this was your fault. “You can’t possibly believe this is on you. These things happen, it obviously isn’t ideal, but it’s just circumstance. It’s not your fault and it’s not the baby’s fault. You did everything you could and more. Okay?”
  He leaned in, finger stroking gently across your cheekbone as he caught a tear. You sniffled, nodding once as he pulled you back together.
  “What does he look like?” You asked, snuggling back into the pillow as Eddie coddled you.
  He hesitated for a moment before he answered, “I—I don’t know.”
  That elicited a small frown from you, “You haven’t seen him yet?”
  Eddie swallowed hard, gaze moving away from you, “No.”
  You waited, watching a series of emotions pass over his features. Eddie often tried to keep his internal struggles to himself, a habit you noticed once you became friends with him (ironically, through some trauma bonding) and even into your relationship. You hadn’t expected him to confide everything in you right away, though you had let him know should he ever need someone to talk to, you’d be there.
  Now, it wasn’t a matter of if he would, it was when. It didn’t take him long. 
  “I don’t know—I guess,” he pursed his lips, eyes squeezing shut as he felt the all too familiar burn of fresh tears. How many times had he cried in the last twenty-four hours? He felt ridiculous to be so emotional, then again, he’d never thought he’d find himself in this tragic situation, so he was due for a couple of breakdowns, “I know if I go down there and I—I look at him, I’m gonna fall in love with him and then what? He dies. I can’t do that, not if I’m gonna lose him forever. I can’t.”
  Eddie was leaking tears, not yet sobbing but well on his way as he made his confession. He couldn’t stomach seeing his baby boy if he was going to be taken away from him, if the two of you would have to put a tiny little coffin—a size that should never have to exist—six feet into the ground. He’d been put through the fucking ringer but Eddie couldn’t do that. It would break him.
  Eddie’s confession had you crying as well, you shared his pain. You didn’t want to lose your baby, either. You couldn’t remember what he looked like through the haze of your fatigue when you’d given birth to him, but if you tried to think hard enough, you could remember how it felt to have him in your arms in the passenger seat of Wayne’s truck. The first time you’d held him and you hoped it wouldn’t be the last. 
  Even if it was, you were grateful you’d had the chance to and you knew Eddie would never forgive himself if he didn’t get to see him, didn’t get to meet him.
  “I know you’re terrified, Eds. It scares me, too.” You grabbed his hand just as it slipped away from your face, encouraging him to look at you. “I don’t want to lose him, either. I want to take him home. I want to cuddle with him, nurse him, take tons of pictures of him with Penny and with you, but most of all, I want to make sure he knows I love him.”
  It killed you to imagine your baby in an incubator, small, helpless and with no one but the nurses, who could make the time to check on him in between all their other patients, offering him comfort. Human contact. And if he did end up passing, he could do so alone in there, not knowing how loved he was. 
  “I know you love him, Eddie, and you don’t want to lose him. But you can’t lose him if you don’t have him, baby. I hate that this is even a possibility for us, but I’d rather have held him and lost him than to never have picked him up at all. I’ll be okay with whatever you decide, but do you really want him to die without having gotten to meet his dad?”
  Eddie let out a choked sob as he shook his head. He didn’t want his baby to die at all but you were right, if he did lose his kid, he’d spend the rest of his life agonizing over the same thing Eddie had been upset with himself for when he thought he’d lose you. He’d been unable to recall the last time he told you he loved you. Only, he’d know he never told his son. 
  “I’ll be right back,” he swore and you nodded just as he leaned down to give you a kiss. He wiped away his tears, inhaled a particularly violent sniffle and you watched as he left your room to finally meet his baby.
  Eddie felt almost disorientated as he navigated his way to the NICU. He’d been there once, briefly, to check on Penny when she’d been there for a few hours, but that was a couple of years ago and he’d needed the assistance of several nurses and staff to direct him, but he finally made it.
  The entrance room, where the viewing window was located, was nearly empty. There was a woman further down, gazing through the large window.
  Eddie approached it with caution and his heart racing a mile a minute. It wasn’t too difficult to find his baby. His son was in an incubator, close to the window and labeled ‘MUNSON’. For the first time, Eddie got to take his son in. He had been right, he fell in love with him at first sight.
  He was smaller than some of the other babies, bigger than others as well and surprisingly well developed. Kind of calmed Eddie’s nerves, just a little. He had a couple of monitor pads attached to his tummy with an additional one wrapped around his tiny foot. Other than the nasal cannula, baby Munson didn’t have a whole lot of tubes attached to him like Eddie had imagined and he could see a smattering of hair on his head, somewhat light in shade but he had a feeling it would darken soon to resemble his own. 
  It was hard to tell if Wayne and Penny were right in their description of him, Eddie couldn’t tell if he was still pale since the baby was cloaked in blue light, but he assumed his son had gained some color by then. Eddie also couldn’t make out his eyes, those were covered by some sort of eye cloth, most likely for protection. He looked a little odd, obviously resembled a baby and while his features were almost indistinguishable, appearing a little generic, as his face still needed to develop a little more, Eddie could see hints of familiar features. 
  He looked like newborn Penny, well, so far. Her features had obviously changed since then, and still were, but he was promising to look almost exactly like she had when she was born. And Eddie thought Penny looked a lot like you, so it got a smile out of him, regardless of the fact his son was bound to resemble his family.
  Eddie watched the rapid rise and fall of his chest with concern. Was he supposed to be breathing that fast? Was he okay? 
  “Which one is yours?”
  Eddie turned to peer over at the woman who’d asked him the question, “Munson.”
  Eddie watched as her gaze moved over all the incubators until they found the correct one.
  “Oh, he’s a cute one. And his breathing looks incredible.”
  “Really? It’s not too fast?” He asked, the worry in his voice obvious.
  “Considering it’s his first time pumping those lungs, I don’t think so, no. Looks like he’s breathing real good to me. Mine needs a little help.” She pointed through the glass to an incubator that housed a baby with a tube in its mouth as well as individual ones in each nostril unlike his son’s nasal cannula. Eddie felt horrible.
  “I’m sorry,” he tried to apologize but she waved him off, a smile still on her face. 
  “Don’t be, that’s all mine is here for. As soon as she figures out how to keep doing it on her own, she’ll be back with me and my wife.”
  Right on, Eddie thought. Before he could continue their conversation, a nurse knocked on the window.
  She gestured down to the baby, “Is he yours?”
  Wow, this glass must have been thin, he could hear her pretty good.
  For some reason, Eddie still assumed she couldn’t hear him and only nodded. She disappeared for a minute and emerged into the room through a large pair of doors. 
  “Would you like to hold him?”
  Eddie glanced at the other occupant and she gave him a nod of encouragement. 
  “Yeah,” he rasped out, turning to look at his son through the window once more, “Yeah, I would.”
  Eddie was nervous the entire time as she prepped him with instructions. While they were concerned about the hole in his son’s heart, he was well developed, had strong vitals, good reactions, even for thirty weeks. He was so good that had it not been for his heart, he probably would have been sent home at the same time as you, given your longer than average stay due to your c-section and preeclampsia.
  And when she placed him in his arms, the love he had for his son almost overwhelmed him. He couldn’t believe he almost denied himself this. 
  “Can I touch him?” He asked, after he’d stopped marveling at the small face—eyes still hidden—in his arms. 
  “Mhm, we’d encourage it. Babies, even born preterm, are still very much so human. He craves the contact, it might even encourage him.” 
  Eddie didn’t hesitate, fingers gently stroking over the soft fluff of hair on his son’s head. This close, he could see it all pushed towards the middle of his head, like a mohawk. His baby was already metal straight out of your womb, it made him chuckle. 
  The nurse stepped away to tend to another baby, giving him a little privacy. Eddie maneuvered his son so he was resting on his chest, little head pressed against the spot just over his heart.
  “Hi,” he whispered down to the baby in his arms, “I’m your dad.”
  Much to Eddie’s awe, the baby nuzzled his head against his chest, making him still. He didn’t know why, but he’d believed his son wouldn’t be able to move for some reason. It was nice to know he was wrong.
  “It’s nice to finally meet you, too,” he laughed, the sound soft, “I’ve been looking forward to it, you must have, too. You sure know how to make an entrance, huh? Couldn’t wait in your mom any longer?”
  Eddie ducked down to kiss his little head, lips remaining there as he moved to sit in one of the few chairs of the NICU. 
  “It’s okay, though. I’ve got you, daddy’s got you.” Even if the outcome wasn’t okay, right at that moment with his son in his arms, everything felt like it would be. And if his son needed encouragement, Eddie would give it to him. 
  “I’m sorry it took me so long to come find you, your mom had to talk some sense into me. She loves you a lot, you know? Probably jealous I’m down here and she isn’t, but only because she physically can’t just yet.”
  Eddie’s hand went to support the back of his head as he moved the baby down to hold in his hands, staring down at his little face. 
  “I’ll bring her down to see you again as soon as I can, though. So you gotta keep fighting, okay? I know things are hard for you right now, not as easy as the other babies in the hospital, but I know you can do it. I love you so much, your mom and I just want to take you home, so you gotta beat this, okay?”
  Eddie rocked his baby, gentle swaying motions as he pressed kiss after kiss to his head. 
  “I see you’ve made it down for a visit,”
  Eddie glanced up at the face of Dr. Houseman, she didn’t look as intimidating as she had when she’d first approached him in the waiting room.
  “Sorry to disturb you, but I’m very glad I caught you. I heard your wife is doing well.”
  “She is,” he confirmed, with a relieved grin. 
  “Good, I’m glad. Have you been given an update on your little guy?”
  Eddie recounted what the nurse had told him and Dr. Houseman looked pleased.
  “Well, I have more news for you. He’s proving to be much stronger than we’d initially anticipated, and while his vitals were already good on intake, they’ve improved tremendously in the last few hours and so have his responses. I think he’s figuring out what he’s capable of doing; how to breathe, how to move, how to eat—we introduced him to a rubber nipple to check his latch response and it’s good, not quite there yet, we’ll have to get creative with his feedings but I think he’ll be able to latch onto his mom soon.”
  She must have caught the way Eddie perked up at her use of the word soon. That meant his baby had a fighting chance.
  “These first few hours after a birth such as his and with his condition are crucial. While he’s still significantly weaker than an average full term newborn, your baby seems to be a fighter.  Should he survive this next night, I believe he’ll make it. He’d just need some time in here while the hole closes up, but it just might not be too much for him.”
  She left him with that news and a parting smile.
  Eddie held his son for a few more minutes before a nurse returned to put him back in his incubator. He hadn’t wanted to leave him, but he’d promised him he’d be back.
  When Eddie got back to the room, his heart was a little lighter and he was able to smile when he saw you giving Penny, who was now wide awake, kisses. He pressed his back up against the door and watched for a few moments as you leaned in and gave her a loud kiss. She’d go into a fit of giggles before demanding another with an again!
  “Daddy!” Penny beamed the moment she saw him and Eddie grinned as he made his way over, lifting her into his arms when she held hers up to him.
  “Hi, pretty one. You sleep good?” 
  “Uh-huh,” it was clear she was distracted and didn’t care about his questions, no, she had some of her own. “You see my baby?”
  Eddie raised an eyebrow, trading an amused look with you.
  “Oh, he’s your baby now?”
  “Ya, he’s—he’s my baby.” She nodded with a grin as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he leaned down to press his forehead to hers.
  “Well, then yes. I saw your baby,” he chuckled, pressing a kiss to her nose.
  “Wha’helooklike?” Penny blurted out, eyes wide as she waited for his reply. 
  “He looked a lot like you.” 
  “Nooooooo,” Penny laughed, shaking her head against her dad’s, “He is my potatoes, not anoda Penny.”
  “It’s true!” Eddie laughed with her as he put her back down by your side and leaned in to give you yet another—he’d never stop giving them to you—kiss.
  “He looks like her?” You asked, after you’d returned his kiss.
  “Mhm,” Eddie fell back into the seat he’d occupied hours earlier. “Looks like she did when she was a newborn. He’s not pale—like a potato,” he directed that part to Penny who just laughed into her little hands, “anymore, at least. I don’t know whose eyes he has, they were covered.”
  Eddie was right about you being jealous, you were practically green with it. 
  “I wish I could see him,” you stated sadly, frown on your lips. You knew, realistically, if he started to decline, they’d most likely let you out of bed to see him or bring him up to you, but still. You’d rather it not come to that.
  “Ran into his doctor while I was there, she said he’s got a better chance.”
  Your eyes lit up, “Really?”
  “I was just about ready to kiss her.” He nodded and you made a face, nose doing that adorable scrunch he loved so much.
  “Okay, well, don’t do that.”
  Eddie snickered, “It was a figure of speech, baby.”
  “I know, I’m just saying it on her behalf,”
  “On her behalf?” Eddie pouted, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
  “Yeah, I want to kiss her, too, but—uhm, Eds, you might need some sleep ‘cause—you’re hot, you really are, but you also look insane right now.”
  Eddie got up to make his way to the bathroom so he could see himself in the mirror, nearly jumping once he’d turned on the lights.
  His eyes were beyond bloodshot, his eye bags were dark and very apparent, his skin had an interesting almost gray like tinge to it and his hair was a wreck. Eddie looked like he belonged in a psych ward.
  “Jesus,” he shouted loud enough to be heard by you.
  “It’s okay, Eds. You’re still beautiful to me!”
  Eddie did end up sleeping. Turns out the chair he’d been sitting on was also a pull out bed. You insisted that he get some rest, and while he did, you changed Penny’s diaper and got some hospital room service for the two of you, you’d even picked something out on the menu for Eddie to eat once he woke up. 
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vivwritesfics · 4 months
Text
Hooked On A Feeling
Chapter Eight - Wine drunk
Daniel is a Formula One driver, but, more importantly, he was a single dad to a wonderful little girl. He wants her to be a normal little girl, to have a normal social life, so he sends her to daycare. That was where she met Milo, her future best friend.
Milo's mother was incredibly stressed. She worked so hard to provide a good life for her son. But then he makes a new friend, a friend who has a hot dad (ofc they fall in love)
1.5K
Single Dad!Daniel x Single Mum!Reader
Warnings: Daniels terrible ex, alcohol consumption, drunkenness
Series Masterlist
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"Danny, we can't," Y/N said as she passed the wine bottle back to him. "I have work tomorrow and I have to get Milo to daycare," she said and leaned against the counter.
Daniel gave her another look. "You don't let loose enough, do you?" He asked as he put the wine down on the counter top. Y/N shook her head and Daniel grabbed the corkscrew from the drawer. "Well, for once, take the night off. Milo and Olivia can have a sleepover and I can drop you off at work tomorrow," he offered.
Y/N thought about it. She seriously thought about it. She and Milo had no clothes for the next day. "I have a condition," she said as she tapped her nails against the counter top. Daniel looked at her to continue. "We wake up early and go and get clothes for Milo and I."
"Deal," Daniel said and held out his hand.
As soon as Y/N shook it he pulled out his phone and set an alarm. He then handed her the wine and the opener, and went to grab two deep wine glasses.
Y/N worked on opening the wine as Daniel placed the glasses down in front of her. She filled them only half way, and handed one to Daniel. "Cheers," she said and tapped her glass against his.
They took one sip before Y/N put her glass down. "We should probably let the kids know that they're having a sleepover," she said, watching as Danny placed his own glass down.
He grinned at her and led her out of the kitchen. He took her through the halls, leading her to the living room. Milo and Olivia were still watching Cars, only at the part where Lightning was paving the road.
Their popcorn had been finished and Olivia looked half asleep. She had been so excited for this that she spent the first half of the movie explaining the entire plot to Milo. Milo was still awake, but only slightly. He looked towards the door as Daniel and his mother walked in.
She crept in front of the television and crouched in front of her son. "Hi, Munchkin," she whispered, sending a little glance in Olivia's direction. Her eyes were now fully closed as she laid against the one of the many fluffy cushions.
"Hi, momma," Milo responded, his voice tired.
"How would you like to sleep here tonight?"
Milo's face suddenly paled. "Please don't leave me here, momma," he squeaked, hugging Y/N's hand.
She let out a small, kind laugh and ruffled Milo's hair. "I'll be here too, Munchkin," she whispered and kissed the top of his head. "Are you okay if we stay here?"
Milo let out a relief breath. He pressed his finger against his chin as he thought about it. "Yeah, momma," he answered after a moment.
Kissing the top of his head, Y/N crept back out of the room. She met Daniel at the door to the living room and held up her thumbs, unable to hide her smile.
While the kids fell asleep as they watched the television, the adults walked back to the kitchen. They clinked their glasses together once and again and drank.
It wasn't clear when they ended up on the floor. But their first bottle of wine was almost finished and music played softly in the background. The kids had already been put to bed, Olivia carried to her four poster bed and Milo put to sleep in the spare room. Olivia had given up her frog teddy for Milo to cuddle while he slept. Y/N leaned against the island in the middle of the kitchen and Daniel was against the cupboards opposite her.
"Who... who the fuck has their own brand of wine?" Y/N slurred as she looked at him. They both had their legs stretched out, side by side. At some point Daniel placed his warm hand onto her leg, but she wasn't complaining. Either she didn't mind or she hadn't noticed. "A-and why is the wine so good?"
Daniel squeezed her leg and finished his glass. "This was my last bottle," he answered, his voice just a little clearer than her own. "I was saving it for a special occasion."
"Sorry Danny."
"Why are you sorry?"
"Because we drank all of your special wine for your special occasion."
Daniel laughed, but he didn't bother to explain it, didn't bother to explain that this was the special occasion and he was happy to share it with her.
"Can I say something?" Y/N said suddenly and Daniel nodded his head. She sucked in a breath and stared into his eyes brown eyes. "Your ex is the biggest asshole I've ever met." She said and Daniel let out a laugh, one that overtook his entire body. "Seriously!" Y/N continued. "What did you ever see in her?"
It was the wine talking, but Daniel explained it to her. He sat there and explained his romantic history with Olivia's mother. "We met when I was still in Red Bull," he answered. He didn't notice Y/N's confusion (since, you know, she doesn't know anything about Formula One) and continued. "It was actually her that convinced me to go to Renault. It was early on in our relationship and I didn't see the red flags. By the time I did, she had fallen pregnant and she didn't want to get rid of it.
"We stayed together, tried to make it work for our child. She was manipulative and, when I was away racing and she was looking after Olivia, I saw it. Still, though, I wanted to make things work. But I realised it wasn't worth it. If Olivia's mother and I couldn't make things work, I didn't want to make things miserable for Olivia.
"When we split up, it became clear she was only with me for my pay check. She might have loved me at first, but things definitely changed."
Y/N leaned forward, slipping her wine slightly on the wooden floor, and tapped Daniel on the nose. "You've done a good job with Livvy," she said, crawling across the floor and tucking her body against his side. "She's so amazing."
"So is Milo," Daniel reassured her, letting his arm rest on her shoulder.
Y/N let out a scoff. "I know Milos a good kids," she whispered. "He's the best kid. I got so freaking lucky. He's my entire world. But..." She paused, sucked in a deep breath and sipped her wine. "I wish I could give him a father figure."
Just like she had, Daniel tapped her on the nose. "Come to a Grand Prix with me," he said, somewhat suddenly.
"What? Danny I can't just drop everything to come to a grand prix with you," she said, her head against his shoulder.
"Come on, Y/N. It would be amazing. And I know Milo would love it. Olivia would love having him there. Plus, I'd love it if you could watch me race."
Finishing off her wine, Y/N huffed. "Fine," she said and put the glass on the floor beside her. "But only because Milo would have a good time, Olivia would have a good time, and I really want to watch you race."
Her eyes were drooping, her words becoming quieter. "You can be my lucky charm," he whispered.
When Daniel looked over, her eyes were shut. He made light work of putting the wine and the glasses away before scooping Y/N into her arms and carrying her out of the kitchen.
"Danny," she mumbled against his chest, his eyes still closed. "Can I sleep in your nice big bed?" She never would have asked it sober, but he was too drunk to notice that.
"Sure," Daniel muttered and carried her up to his room. He sat her down onto his bed and pulled out an old pair of pyjamas that was definitely going to be way to big for her. He turned around and let her get changed.
Daniel was turned around for a long while, waiting for her to tell him when she was done. But she never did. After he felt like enough time had passed, Daniel turned around.
There she was, wearing his clothes. She was laid back on the bed, her arm over her stomach, her eyes shut, and her chest steadily rising and falling.
Daniel smiled softly. He gently moved her, getting under beneath the blankets. When Daniel went to leave, something grabbed his arm. "Wait," she said, her voice sleepy. "Stay, please. This bed is too big for me."
For someone so tired, her grip on him was like a vice. Plus, they'd both be fully clothed, Daniel said to himself, trying to justify it. "Okay," he said, prying her hands away from his wrist.
He made quick work of getting changed into something more comfortable and slipped into the bed.
When things started, they were far away from each other, on opposite sides of the bed. But she must have scooted herself back. Daniel didn't mind. He simply wrapped his arms around her and continued to sleep.
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