#i’m going to put together a theme finally and update my blog | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aeor-is-for-reccing · 7 months

Text

Survey Results! Finally!

I’m finally getting to posting the survey results! It’s taken about a month longer than I expected – work got busy and my laptop screen is busted. Also, writing this out took was longer than I expected – ten pages in total. And that’d be a horrible tumblr post. So instead, here’s the main findings and the longform answers, and you can take a look at the google doc here for a more in depth analysis from each question.

Main Findings:

Respondents are about evenly divided as to whether or not they reblog.

People generally kudos and comment!

Nobody knows we have a fic randomizer. (We have a fic randomizer. It’s on the spreadsheet)

Sixty percent of respondents either do or would self rec

The biggest write in answer for why people don’t rec is shyness

The biggest reason for why people don’t read is they don’t remember to go back

Opening up the reclist is contentious, people are generally okay with a script and could use a reminder

What we're doing/did in response:

There’s now a @reclister role on AiFL, request it to get pinged when the rec list goes up or to get reminders as to when to rec

I’m posting what fics have been recced with the 24 hour reminder and the tag list.

I’ve added ‘Less Common Authors’ as a possible theme

I’m going to open up the reccing sheet to everyone – I just have to lock down some stuff first

I’ll update the value filters for the reccing sheet

I’m going to work on a script that updates the basic fields (title, author, word count, rating, ect) for the form. This one might take a bit.

And now , the long form responses, under the cut:

Thanks to everyone who was thankful that I was doing this! We’re just going to be a thanks ouroboros, happily!

The reason I don’t rec every week is that I find writing summaries hard, everything else is easy for me/The summaries aren’t very useful to me:

So, a short guide to writing summaries for recs:

If the author has something that works – you can always copy it. Part of the reason why this isn’t ‘just a copy and paste what they have’ option is that AO3 summaries can take up space, and we don’t want folks to get sad about having to scroll lots. But if the author has a sentence at the bottom of the summary that explains everything, there’s no reason to do more work.

If the author didn’t provide a one sentence summary, then include the basics of the plot. (Essek gets dicked down by Caleb, Essek and Caleb skip through the wildflowers together, aeorian magic turns Caleb into a capybara and Essek into a hot tub filled with oranges, ect). Then add an adjective or two that has something to do with tone. (A hilarious story about Essek being dicked down by Caleb, a tense account of Essek and Caleb skipping through the wildflowers together; Aerian magic turns Caleb into a capybara and Essek into a hot tub full of oranges. It’s surprisingly romantic.) Think about how it made you feel, what genre you would put it in, what tags you’d add on storygraph.

Don’t worry if it’s kind of dry! A) It’s probably less dry than you think, and b) you can do more gushing within the ‘what you liked about it’ section.

One last thing to remember – there’s no one right way to make a summary, people are looking for different things.

If the rec form was opened up to people who aren’t on AIFL don’t you think the name would need to be changed to reflect that it’s not an AIFL thing anymore?

Maybe! I wasn’t planning on not posting it on AiFL, and I’d suspect that the majority of reccers would still be AiFL members (just because getting notifications of something on tumblr is a lot harder). But to be honest, this would be a relatively small issue.

I'm not a huge shadowgast fan, but I think reclists are cool, and sometimes the fics are relevant to my interests

Thanks! Have you heard about the other reclists? There’s @critter-genfic-events for a genfic one that was started by @Professor-Rye and is now being run by @operafloozy, there’s @widomaukficrecs, and I also have the reccing blog tools (group version or single user) in case you want to start your own!

Less a suggestion and more a general thought. I believe the anonymity of the reccers is an important part of this process and I am in no way saying that should be removed, but at the same time, it does feel impersonal, like a lack of commitment to one's tastes. Word of mouth doesn't tend to sway me to read new fic when I don't know the mouths the words are coming from. That said, take this with a grain of salt because, for the time being, I'm not the target audience of the rec lists.

Hey thanks for the comment! I agree with you! There’s a definite trade off in not knowing whether a reccer’s tastes line up with your own. It means that there’s not a great way to add moderation into the rec list, and with anonymity being an ever- dwindling resource on the internet, people’s attitudes towards it have shifted further into suspicion of intent. Even when it’s something like a rec list, I think there can be an anxiety about people finding a way to use it to bully authors – moreso than even having a consistent pseudonym. When really, I think there’s a good reason why reccers might want anonymity. Admitting you like something can be a vulnerable act! Social anxiety was the number one write-in reason as to why people didn’t rec, as is. I want people to feel comfortable reccing fics that are weird or kinky or require a lot of different warnings, and I wanted people to feel comfortable reccing their own fics. And it’s one thing to leave a kudos on someone’s work while signed in – something nobody else is going to see unless they bother to look – and another to put your name saying you enjoy any sort of beastiality or noncon or whatever else where any purity culture lover can object to on tumblr for all to see. The last thing I want is for people to be hurt or harassed because they participated in something that’s supposed to be a net good.

Anyway, this is all saying that I don’t think your concern is unfounded – and while I’m not likely to change anything about this rec list’s anonymity, if anyone else wants to try their hand at running one, it’s something to think about.

Also, I know I tend to read fic the same way, but it does seem to be a ton of repeat authors week-to-week, so maybe if once in a while the list can be to branch out to a never recc’d person?

I really like this idea, but the logistics of it are a little complex. I crunched the numbers, and out of 558 recs, there’s been 175 authors recced. Which is admittedly is a lot of overlap, but also that’s a lot to expect reccers to keep track of. But a top ten list should be doable! I crunched the numbers a couple of different ways – top numbers of times an author was recced, top number of different fics recced by an author, and top number of themes recced, which got me a list of fourteen authors – that seems doable. It’s now a possible theme.

More Information I got from number crunching includes:

86 authors have only been recced once

418 fics have been recced, 324 have only been recced once.

Most recced fics are Hard Mouth at seven times.

Royalgreen has had the most recs at 24, the most fics recced at 18, and the most themes recced at 17, but they also have 51 Critical Role Fics, so.

Further info can be found in this details sheet. I've also added a randomizer for general use, just because.

knowing upcoming themes further in advance

This can be done – it’s how the genfic rec list is currently set up. (as a note, while I’m currently running the genfic rec list, @professor-rye was the one to create it).

The AiFL rec list is currently set up so you can rec fics after the tumblr post, with the idea that people would probably look at the list of recs at the google sheet – which I realize isn’t the way it’s currently used. So you can still rec later, it just doesn’t have the same visibility. (The two exceptions for this are the ‘older recs’ and the ‘hidden gems’ recurring themes, because we know they’re going to recur and they’re not likely to be ineligible when the theme rolls around again, the way works in progress might be).

Logistically, the selecting the upcoming themes in advance doesn’t work as well from the admin side. Instead of remembering that next week is the last Tuesday of the month, I’ve got to remember to count the Tuesdays and order the progress. Right now the way it goes is that we pick the theme from the randomizer right before we post the reclist, so the same theme gets pasted into the ‘next week’s theme’ section, the google form, and the tumblr post at the same time. If I’m choosing a theme a month out, I select next month’s theme, add it to the google form, then go back and check what I’d selected a month ago and post that into the tumblr post and next week’s theme.

There’s also the fact that if we give too much lead time, it means folk procrastinate and forget. Most of the recs currently come in soon after I post the tag list or the 24 reminders as is, and while some people on the gen fic reclist post for multiple weeks at a time, I find that most of the recs are for the week of, anyway.

Anyway, I’m not completely against this, but currently the drawbacks outweigh the perks. Figuring out a different way to sort the upcoming themes for the genfic list is on my to-do list, maybe afterwards I’ll come back and revisit.

#not a rec list

20 notes · View notes

jordanradicalblog · 9 months

Text

Radical Blog 2

Okay it’s been a hot minute since I’ve updated this, but here we go.

First, I got my story a lot more patted down. I’ve continued on the mind theme, though I’ve sort of evolved my story into being one that is more about childhood and the fear of growing up. The fear of growing up is something we’ve all felt before and I really want to capture that with this piece. The idea of your cozy childhood being taken away from you and having to contend with the real world is scary.

I spent about a few hours one night with another person in my class named Jora. Together, him and I plotted both of our Radical ideas out. We got a big white board and started writing down as many ideas as we could think of for each of ours and then attempted to streamline them as much as possible. After that I had some time to ruminate on my idea and start putting a script together, which isn’t done but is getting there. It was a very helpful exercise that helped contain a lot of our thoughts.

I’ve been very intimidated by the project and so I’ve been talking a lot with the people within my major who have more experience than me as upper classmen and have been asking them a LOT of questions. I’m trying to take this project day by day, and while it’s a little stressful, I’m trying to be on top of it. I’d like all of pre-production to be done by the end of September. I’ve also been reaching out to a lot of people to get them onto my shoots. It’s been very busy.

I’ve also had a pitch meeting recently and had to do a write up for it. Here is the write up below (the thumbnails might not appear. I have to figure out how to work through that):

Jordan Buterbaugh [email protected]

Radical Cinema Workshop

Proposal Worksheet

Working Title: Kiwi

Software, Material, and Technical Needs: General film equipment, sound stage, art/makeup/wardrobe/props, lighting, adobe premiere,

Medium(s): Film, animation

Installation: If I did do an installation, I think it would be viewed in a little pillow fort on a standard screen.

Aesthetic: It will have multiple aesthetics going for it due to the film having different segments. I’d like one segment to be very colorful, light, and poppy as it is mainly in the imagination of a child. I’d like one of the segments to be very dark with a lot of reds used and weird imagery. One of the segments will have a series of random colors and “trippy” images. Finally, there will be a very calming final segment. I’m not sure what it will entail but it will be very soothing and serve as sort of the center of the mind.

Pick a theme(s): I’d like it to mainly be about growing up, with supporting themes like childhood, adulthood, nostalgia, fear, and time

The Written Proposal:

I want to explore the anxieties of growing up through the lense of the human mind. My film will capture the feeling of what it’s like to be a child and realize “I’m growing up.” The moment where your carefree and safe world is being taken away from you and you're forced to contend with the change of the world and how scary it can be. As adults, it’s easy to fall back into the comfort of childhood memories and it can also be depressing to realize we might not ever be able to go back to those comforting safe memories. The world continues to grow and it continues to get scary.

I would like to show this primarily through one character, but at two different ages. One will be a young child version and the other will be the adult version. The child will exist in the realm of imagination. The images will be very storybook-like and colorful. The audience will witness the child playing in a woods like environment. He will be surrounded by animated elements like spaceships and dinosaurs. He will also use his imagination to imagine his life as a lot more crazy than it actually is, like walking across a log over some mud, but having it look like it’s over a massive chasm. To create the crazy environments I plan on overlaying live action elements with digital images, sort of like matte paintings from older days of film. The child will eventually find a mirror in which he will see himself as an adult. The mirror will be the bridge between the adult and child world, in which the adult and child will be able to reflect on themselves through the same lense.

The adult’s world will be much scarier, with dark visuals and intense imagery. This will be the stark opposite of the child’s world, with trippy imagery as well as graphic gory imagery. It will encapsulate the fear of being alone in the world and the lack of safety and innocence. It will be the dark side of the mind. I have a friend who loves doing gory makeup and is willing to help with this sequence. I also plan on using lots of shadows and red light. As for the psychedelic aspect, I’m not entirely sure yet, but I was thinking of playing around with kaleidoscopes and lights. Most importantly, the images shown will pertain to certain traumatic experiences that happen when people get older. Things relating to concepts like heartbreak and death. It will also reflect how the world seems to get more ugly the older you get, with cruelty found in many places.

As for the end of the film, I want the two characters to embrace each other both physically and metaphorically. They’ll be in the center of the mind, which I think will be a white void. I want the adult to physically hug his younger self and the younger self to embrace his older self. Their worlds will unite, mixing the scary adult world with the child’s world. The adult reconnecting with his younger self and the child embracing his future self. As an ending, I’d love for the two to hold hands and walk into a white light showing that the person is ready to embrace the future.

Moodboard:

Thumbnails:

0 notes

galeforged · 2 years

Text

{ ooc } Ho-kay, crisis averted! Support wrote back, Javascript’s enabled, so we’re just about ready to be in business!

Of note since I wrote last!

The muse directory is finalized!

The rules have been updated! Added a few additional tidbits in reference to how the multimuse works as well as a list of icon credits.

New pen name! Maybe a moot point after several years on here, buuuut I’m gonna go by “Zeph” from hereon - fits the theme!

And with that, I’m moving all activity from my other blogs (being @macuilsung, @windstormwielding, and the latter’s sideblogs @bellringerbrawler, @starlariat, and @sharkfallen) to here! That means asks, threads, drafts, and so on will be done through here from this point on!

So to my mutuals from the blogs listed above, consider this post an unofficial promo of sorts until I get a proper one put together for galeforged. I’ll get started on writing again proper come tomorrow after work or on the weekend! My Discord is also available to those who would like to keep touch off Tumblr, so do ask if you wish for it!

#{ ☁️ winds at rest beyond the sky ☁️ ooc ☁️ }#{ ooc: been looking forward to this for a good couple of weeks now so say it with me folks... 'FINALLY-!' }

17 notes · View notes

f10werfae · 3 years

Note

Hello again !!! I’m really enjoying the winter themed ones so can you write a fluff about Neville longbottom & a snow ball fight maybe ?? Tysm :)) I love your writing keep it up!

Loving Snowball☁️

Pairing= Y/n x Neville Longbottom

Word count= 789

Summary: Neville not only comes home with a new plant, but a plan❄️

Requests are open!

Likes, Re-blogs and Comments are appreciated♥️

╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝ ╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝

(Y/n’s P.O.V)

I started putting the presents under the tree, as my husband’s grandmother Augusta started putting up decorations such as mistletoes.

Neville would be home soon, he was still out collecting different species of plants for his next Herbology lecture after the Christmas holidays.

I had especially bought him something special as a present, although I couldn’t help but think he wouldn’t like it.

But who was I kidding, i’m married to THE Neville Longbottom, he’s the biggest sweetheart ever.

Within the next ten minutes, the front door had opened inviting in the cold winter breeze. Neville stood at the door, the top of his shoulders and head covered in snowflakes making me smile warmly at him.

“Welcome home love” I said walking over to him, helping him wipe off the excess snow.

“Glad to be home” He said in his usual sweet tone, leaning down and giving me a kiss, his lips were warm despite his face feeling ice cold as I held his cheeks in my hands.

“Where’s gran?” Neville asked pulling away starting to take off his coat and hanging it up behind the door.

“She’s just in the kitchen, you know she likes to have Christmas dinner cooked early” I said fixing the hair out of his eyes, his smile putting butterflies in my stomach.

“So, what did you find out there this time?” I asked him curiously looking at the box he set down when he came in, full of repotted plants.

“Well, despite not growing around here I found the Mimbulus mimbletonia” He said cheerily picking up the box showing me the boil covered plant, the passion in his voice showing through.

“As long as you don’t poke it and release stinksap, then I love it too” I said pulling him in for another hug, wrapping my arms around his waist as I looked up at him my chin resting on his chest.

“I’ll do my best to do no poking of any sort love” Neville said placing a soft kiss on my forehead, the happiness in me almost causing an explosion.

“I-I know you’re not exactly dressed properly right now Y/n, but please can we play in the snow for a while?” Here he was, the shy and humble Neville longbottom I had fallen in love with during my years at Hogwarts. Despite us having been together for years, he’s still so quiet and polite.

“Of course we can Neville, let me just get my coat and shoes on alright? I’ll meet you out there” I said patting his cheek lightly, then walking towards the closet when I saw him walk out of the house again.

“Your coat Neville” I said reminding him, seeing him walk backwards grabbing his coat and running back out, but not without a ‘thanks love’

I got on my white winter coat over my fluffy pyjamas, and put on my air forces; finally stepping outside for the first time today. Only for my face to be met with snow, shock filled my body as Neville’s laugh filled the air.

“NEVILLE!” I shouted trying to stop a laugh from escaping me as well.

“Sorry love I just couldn’t help it” I heard him say walking over to me, helping wipe off the snow on my face like I had done with him earlier.

“Oh come on don’t pout at me like that” He said his face going red, and if you ask me it wasn’t because it was cold.

I walked past him, bending down picking up a bunch of snow into my hands, the iciness of the snow causing a burning sensation on my hands. Still not facing him, I moulded the snow as best as I could into a ball, rapidly turning around I catapulted the snow into his face hoping to catch him off guard. I did.

“plEGh” I heard him choke out realising the snow had gotten into his mouth, seeing him wipe off the snow with his arm making me slightly giggle.

“Find that funny do you love” I hear him say, now only realising he had a handful of snow, big enough for a head of a snowman.

“L-love we were just messing about right” I said slowly backing away, before sprinting for my life.

The sound of his footsteps in the snow along with his laugh following behind me before I finally feel myself falling into the snow.

“Oomf sorry love are you alright? I tripped” I heard him say. He had tripped and brought me down with him, with me grumbling into the snow he turned me over now looking down at me. My small frown turning to match his vibrant smile as our laughter filled the crisp air.

#girlfriend #x reader #boyfriend #boyfriend imagine #fluff #imagine #romance #harry potter #tom riddle #neville fanfic #neville longbottom #hogwarts #ron weasley #hermione granger #oneshots #writerscorner #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine

110 notes · View notes

destielfanfic · 3 years

Text

Unofficial Rec Bulletin #176, Fanfic Edition, August 2021

The show is over, long live the fandom! The irregularly posted Unofficial Bulletin is back this month. I’ve good news and bad news for you. Let’s get this ball rolling.

Contents

Fandom events

Destiel fic on AO3 is approaching 100,000 mark

AO3 Ship stats 2021 by @centrumlumina

Tumblr plus and You post by @transformativeworks

Author Romilly King and plagiarism of destiel fic

update about apokteino’s fic With Understanding

update about moosefeels’s fics

@destielficarchive

@whyissupernaturaltrending and @spn-season-16-chronicles

Destielfanfic stuff

Destiel and Saileen

Destiel AU, vol. 7 - Soulmates and Blind Dates

from the inbox

in the beginning there was ...

Always the best man, never the groom

Lost Fic Group Asks #189 -#192

@destiel-fic-rec-lists

Fandom events

Are we there yet? Not yet, but very, very soon the all time biggest ship on AO3, destiel, will cross 100,000 fanworks mark! As I type this on August 7, 2021 the number stands at 99,882 sorry, it’s 99,887 as I hit post. Here’s some posts anticipating the big even - post 1, post 2 and post about Misha tweeting about destiel fanfic.

tumblr user @centrumlumina has been making and analyzing AO3 Ship Stats for years, and making them easily understandable in tumblr posts. Here’s AO3 Ship stats 2021 All Time 100 with destiel as number one, and This Year’s Top 100 with destiel as number 2. (link to the same post on AO3). Do not be sad about the second place on This Year’s table. That is a very huge improvement over 2020 listing, when destiel was number 16. According to OP, the low increase in new works could be explained with deleted fics making a dent in total numbers. Well, something clearly changed between the last survey and this year’s stats, if destiel is back on top. I wonder what....

Tumblr staff scared us all with their new blog monetization feature Post Plus, which prompted huge discussions about merits and demerits of putting your fanfic behind a paywall. Here’s a Tumblr plus and You post by @transformativeworks that takes a deeper look at the problem from AO3 perspective and OTW’s Legal Committee answers some common questions.

and now the bad and sad news

An author of some 20+ m/m erotica books on Amazon, Romilly King, has been found to plagiarize at least 2 destiel fics. All important information with regular updates in notes and reblogs can be found on this post by @unforth. If you like dark, kinky fics, please check it out and see if you can help to track down other copycat novels. There’s is a strong suspicion that the author has ripped off fics from other fandoms besides SPN.

as we already mentioned on our post from January, 2021, destiel writer apokteino deleted their AO3 profile, including their most popular fic With Understanding (our rec post). There’s some misunderstanding about the fic appearing on AO3 as an orphaned work, but we are pretty sure that the repost was not done by the author. Please see this post and its notes for more info.

and now even sadder news. It has come to my attention that a popular destiel author moosefeels has made all their destiel fics unavailable. I feel like a broken record, but for heavens sake, guys, please comment and kudos your favorite authors and download the fics you want to cherish. You’ll never know when they will be gone.

one more shout out to @destielficarchive and its lovely mod @unforth! This bulletin couldn’t be made without their posts. Check out the blog and give them a follow.

and if you want to be always on top with destiel fandom news, check out @whyissupernaturaltrending and @spn-season-16-chronicles!

Destielfanfic stuff

To celebrate #Their Love Was Real challenge held in February, we prepared a short rec list with destiel fics that also feature saileen. - Destiel and Saileen.

Destiel AU, vol. 7 - Soulmates and Blind Dates - everyone loves a soulmate, right? Maybe not? Find out what happens in these latest additions to our #bonded tag!

from the inbox - a new type of post where I answer selected fic rec asks. The irony for this kind of post is not lost on me. We stopped answering asks on the blog to make modding less time consuming, and yet here I am, answering asks on the blog again because this way I can be at least sure that the answer will be seen by our followers.

in the beginning there was ... - after Mr.Ackles caused a great chaos in fandom with his announcement of an SPN spinoff/ prequel The Winchesters, with young Mary and John no less, this fic rec list was born.

Always the best man, never the groom - a wedding themed destiel fic collection with a twist - it is not their wedding. In these fics Dean and Cas meet or finally get together thanks to other people’s weddings. I’ve been nursing this rec list idea for several years and was planning to post it after SPN finale. Needless to say things didn’t go as planned in fandom and I postponed it. Well, better late than never!

Lost fics were looked for and found on following Group Asks - #189, #190, #191, #192. If you asked for lost fics in past couple of month, check them out. Or see your DM, when I knew the answer, I sent a DM. <3

@destiel-fic-rec-lists - a self promo! Since I’m very behind on all new destiel fics, it seemed a good idea to collect other people fic rec lists in one place and share them with our followers. The blog was started to preserve destiel fic rec posts by`destielmybeatingheart after they deleted their main blog, but now it is expanding. I aim for several postings per week, usually a fic rec post and a fanfic meme or writing related post.

We are NOT accepting submitted fic recs or any kind of promos anymore, lost fic asks are posted to Group Asks. Link to previous bulletins.

#destiel #destiel fic rec #destielfanficnet #unofficial rec bulletin

71 notes · View notes

canyouhearthelight · 3 years

Text

The Miys, Ch. 154

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

I was able to get the Master Post cleaned up this morning. I know there is a reblog going around with some of the links missing... I put that one up originally as a place holder so I could update my page links in chapters 101 through this one. I did NOT anticipate it would get immediately reblogged, which made me squeak in pleasant surprise. I’ll reblog the full post so everyone has the right one.

Also, thanks to @baelpenrose, @the-raven-fae, and @charlylimph-blog for keeping me going and all your help beta-reading and checking my links. You three are the real heroes here!

“The quiet rooms are done,” Hannah yawned the next morning. “It’s a good thing we decided to make them available immediately, because the first one had people scheduling time before we finished the second one.”

“How many did we end up with?” I asked, pushing down my own urge to yawn. I had always prided myself on being able to resist the urge to yawn when others did, and I wasn’t letting that stop now.

The model of the Ark came up on the table emitter, and Hannah zoomed in on the highlighted areas. “Right now, we have twelve, just like you set up for the second Food Festival. But I’ll be honest, they rooms are already booked for the foreseeable future, and I don’t think that’s tenable.”

“Agreed. I’ll talk to the rest of the Council, but at this point, we need to see about setting all available spaces for quiet rooms.” I nodded and added that note to my agenda. “Moving on, food vendors being allowed in BioLab2. Any updates?”

Parvati flicked the data to everyone. “Grey isn’t thrilled with the possibility that the food will contaminate the aquatics, but is willing to allow vendors in ‘The Fairy Circle’?” She gave me a questioning look. “They said you would know what that meant.”

I just smiled and shook my head. “It’s where I go camping. Conor managed to pull off a prank that fooled even Charly and made a Faerie circle. It’s a good choice, though: ten, eleven feet across, accessible, and far enough from the water that there wouldn’t be any risk.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled. “Credit to Conor on that one. But, Grey was very enthusiastic about the idea of setting up some picnic tables throughout the woods and letting people bring picnics.”

“I already have some vendors on board, there,” I breathed in relief. “Especially the ones who specialize in the type of foods that lend themselves well to being portable.”

Hannah’s face lit up. “Do we get to taste test some of these? I’m really getting some bento box and pasty vibes from what you just said, and I’m not sure which I’m more excited about.”

“I think I can get that to happen,” I laughed. “I wouldn’t mind trying some of the options myself, but I can at least already confirm that all bases are covered for dietary requirements. Next up, where are we on the holiday date?”

“Still working with the other departments to finalize a date where all projects can be completed, paused, or at least at a point where they don’t require direct observation. Everyone is on board, though.”

“That’s the biggest hurdle,” I confirmed. “Means we can proceed with at least putting the rest of the events together in preparation for the final date. I trust you two in handling the party aspect of it, and Charly is already working Bash on another Kink Night event at the Undine - minimal planning needed there. So, let’s figure out who is coordinating the paint-tag fight, and we can loop back to the plans for the party.”

“While I am entirely sure Charly can handle planning for both the paint tag and the other - seeing as both were her ideas - it doesn’t feel fair to leave them both entirely on her shoulders,” Hannah agreed. “It says here that you already had Conor confirm we missed Holi?

“By about six months,” I confessed. “So we’re pretty much both too late and too early.”

“I do believe the arrows would be frowned upon, in any event,” Parvati joked. “I still have her paint formulas - flavors are not listed, but there is a distinct lack of both black and yellow.”

“Those were… scotch bonnet for the black, I know that one. I think the yellow was gochujang, which would still hurt if you got it in your eyes,” I recalled.

She flicked her hands, bracelets chiming. “I will ask for a new formula for yellow, but I think we can live without black paint. The yellow was lovely, though.”

“Ask nicely, and she’ll probably give you the glitter formula colors, which I think are different flavors from the regular palette,” I suggested. “And the glitter is ultra-violet reactive, so that’ll be fun.”

Emphatic stabbing at her datapad ensued - impressive, because it wasn’t even physically there, just emitted from the band on her wrist. “Once I have those, I believe Hannah and I can coordinate that along with the party. There is no food component, it is only for one day, so the scope is far smaller than the Festival was.”

“And besides,” Hannah added with a shrug, “whip up some paints and some spongy balls to soak it up, set boundaries, invite anyone who wants to attend. Planning done.” She dusted her hands off for emphasis, but she had a point.

“I’ve got the care packages well underway, so we’re solid there. The party. What’s the plan there?”

Parvati dismissed the schematic from the table emitter and sent a different image to it. This one was practically the opposite of what I had expected: where I had anticipated Food Festival 2: Pyrotechnic Boogaloo, I was instead looking at a park that I was reasonably certain only existed in dreams.

Soft green grass that my toes wiggled to touch spanned a rolling, looping thoroughfare. Trees arched overhead like an arbor, and were either woven with lights are absolutely covered in fireflies. Between breaks in the canopy, a night sky filled with more stars than I had seen in my living memory. Here and there small braziers burned brightly with fire, resting on sturdy rugs and dotted around with cushions.

“Vati,” I whispered hoarsely. “We can’t use BioLab2 for this, can we? Will Grey allow it?”

“We can, and they are.” Her smile was the feral one that usually preceded a coup de grace of event planning. “This, however, is not BioLab2. This is the corridors of levels twelve through fourteen, leading into the lab.”

My first urge was to guess what she was planning, but my mind came up blank. I circled around my desk to stand closer to the table. “Okay, talk to me. Make it make sense.”

She nodded. “The grass is real, laid down like sod. The terraforming teams have agreed to let us use it, provided we allow them to collect data on how it holds up to so much foot traffic and include a post-event question regarding the tactile feel on bare feet. So, bare feet they shall have.” She winked when I realized she and Hannah were going to make it part of the theme. “The trees are an illusion, simple light emitters against the corridor walls, combined with the existing texture of the surface.”

When she moved the image to mimic walking further down the path, Hannah picked up. “The larger spaces are actually where the corridors are longer between quiet rooms. Rather than trying to pull off the tree illusion, we’re going to create a night sky with shooting stars, comets, the works. Like a dream.”

“I like it. It’s not what I was expecting, but I’m even more impressed for that.”

“We couldn’t compete with Charly,” Parvati confessed. “She is already going to have our base desires covered. Anything we tried to do would look like a pale imitation. So, we went the other direction: What else do we do to feel alive?”

“We dream,” I laughed. “It’s all a fairy tale dream, isn’t it?”

“That’s the goal,” Hannah confirmed. “A beautiful dream. One day and one night where you can live out your humanity however you want, without having to compromise. If someone wants to throw paint with childish abandon, then stroll and dance through a dream, and finish the night at the Undine trying something they never dared to do before, they can do that.”

“When you put it like that, it sounds decadent.”

“I was going for hedonistic, over all, but you’re on the right track,” Parvati laughed. “Hannah and I agreed that everyone on the Ark needed one perfect day. And since perfect is different for everyone…” She shrugged. “We just decided to give them all the options. The quiet rooms will be open if their perfect includes a botanical garden, or a cloud… the mess halls will be open if it means a feast, or even just decadent hors d'oeuvres they could never make an excuse to try. It’s literally all on the table.”

“Consider it signed off on.” I still couldn’t take my eyes off that grass, toes wiggling happily. “Just let me know the date when we have one, I need a pedicure to enjoy this completely.”

<< Prev Masterlist Next >>

#the miys #found family #humans are weird #science fiction #aliens #apocalypse #humans are space orcs #humans are space fae #earth is space australia #post apocalypse #post post apocalypse #original science fiction #original sci fi #original writing

60 notes · View notes

nobodycallsmerae · 3 years

Text

Hello, Hello!

Soo, a few days back, I had shared a post asking for some BBRae AU fanfiction recommendations, so, let's put the fact aside that it didn't really help... but now, I'm here to share some stories that I've read, and I recommend reading!

So, this list only consists of AU (Alternate Universe) stories where they aren't superheroes, so you can skip it if you want ^^

So... I won't rank them, because I think every story is amazing, (and I'm pretty easy to please,) so, I'm just assorting them as I keep collecting the links :) Also, I'll try my best to review the stories without giving away any spoilers...

Firstly, there are too many good fics to count, but here I am mentioning the ones which stood up in my mental folder. (Also, it only includes completed stories.)

This list includes all types of stories, high school, co-workers, roommates and all... the ratings are between T-M.

(Links lead to stories on Fanfiction.net.)

The Butterfly Effect -by Light NS | Rated M for semi-sexually explicit material and topics of depression and suicide.

This story definitely comes in my top-5 list blindly, and it deserves so much more! The story is about Gar and Raven, who are adults now... and let's just say there are far too many coincidences in this one! It's a lovely story with also a healthy amount of tension... because, I personally believe it can't be BBRae without some arguments *shruggs*. You should definitely check it out if you haven't already!!

Broken -by LightNS | Rated T

Oofff... okay, so this story is actually one of the first BBRae stories I've read and it's really close to my heart...

First of all, I want to say that the characters in this story are freakishly accurate. I mean, the personalities are on-point. In this story, the Titans are high schoolers, but this isn't exactly a high school romance kinda book. To be honest, this isn't exactly a romance book..(?) It's more like an action/thriller... And... it isn't heavily a BBRae book... I mean, yeah, it is based on those two characters, and Gar spends most of his time crushing on her... but, y'know, it's a book that shows both of them growing... and learning about each other -and themselves.

The writer does an amazing job to portray the character's feelings and personalities, and I'm sure her writing won't disappoint you.

The only drawback this story has is... well, it has a discontinued sequel named "Glass", so, it's kinda sad that, I mean, I've fallen in love with those characters... but, they don't really have a happy ending soo…

This writer is also on Tumblr, @lightns881 , so you can also visit her blog and support her!

By the way, there're also really great BBRae communities to be found on Fanfiction.net and you can check them out for more fun stuff to read. The ones I thoroughly recommend are:

"Best Of BBRae" which basically has all the goodness, IU and AU (but, it's a bit old so... you might not see newer fics there.); and

"Best Of BBRae AU's" which is a collection of one of the best AU stories.

Moving on...

Everything Has Changed -by Chibi 1309 | Rated M for Mature themes and language.

This story also comes in my beloved top-5 list!!

I don't really know what to say about this story without ruining it, but if you're on the lookout for an adult Titans BBRae fic, this is definitely your stop. Well, let me just say that, Gar and Rachel are best friends, a troupe I personally adore, and they live together in an apartment in Jump City.

This story has a lot... I mean, A LOT of feels, and the writer... *chef kiss* She really knows what she's doing. May it be the setting, the characters, the emotions... the author could deliver it wonderfully.

It also has a lot of other Titan members, so I like the fact that it also gives us an insight on what's going on in their lives too, rather than just Gar and Rachel.

Hands up in surrender, I won't say anything else, because I don't trust my mouth (or fingers), but this work is definitely a must read.

"Spy vs Spy" by Caitastrophe8499 | Rated M for mature themes, violence, and adult situations.

This... is a masterpiece people. You should definitely read it... like RIGHT NOW!

In this story, Gar and Rae are from rival agencies, Doom Patrol and Titans, and as fate has it, they're forced to work together. Neither of them are happy about it, because of each other's cocky and standoffish attitude and as both of them work best solo... and also... both of them hate each other... at first. This book, it includes lots of action, and if you knew me, you'll know that I am a sucker for crime and thriller. I mean, this story in itself is so great, it could be adapted into an ACTION MOVIE!! Or maybe a graphic novel to start with. :)

And what's best about it is, it doesn't only show two people romance each other, it shows a group of people working together to catch a deadly villain. I won't say much more to build suspense, but all I'll say is, it's entertaining, spicy, and the character dynamic fit perfectly with their relationship and situation, and if you haven't read it, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!! CHECK IT OUT NOW!! This will probably be one of the best recommendations of your life.

Assuming -by magisterquinn | Rated T

This is a feel good, light-hearted BBRae story that I very much enjoyed. So, basically, it's about Raven (or is it Rachel, I forget), and how the (dashingly handsome and) annoying employee won't leave her alone. She also gets a series of mail that sparks her interest, and I don't trust myself to say more without spoiling it.

Magisterquinn, the author, has an amazing collection of the BBRae (AU) stories they've written, "Chivalry Isn't Dead", "Making Mr.Right" (a must read) and "In Paris" to name a few, so, I definitely recommend checking out their profile for amazing and clever reads.

The Malchior Widow -by beautifulpurpleflame | Rated M

...this story...all I wanna say is... if you haven't read it, you're missing out on something wonderful in your fangirl(/boy) life.

This story is based on my favorite troupe, which is where all Gar wants is for Raven to open up to him. It's like, Raven is a reserved, "untouchable" person, and Gar, being Gar... feels an urge to talk to her. After many, many attempts, when Gar finally talks to her, his friends are like, "How'd you get her to talk?" or "How's she open up to you?" and the response is, "No one's ever even tried before."

"The Malchior Widow" goes at a satisfying, feel-good pace... and it's one hell of a journey. I mean, as the title suggests, Raven's a widow, and she isn't exactly open to the possibility of loving... or trusting someone else yet. It shows not only both of them falling in love... but also understanding, knowing, and learning to trust each other.

Another good AU story by Beautifulpurpleflame is "The Beach House", so you can also read that.

Honorary mention::

"How To Save Her Life" (Rated T) by "Beautifulpurpleflame"

If you're looking for a wholesome, toe-curling good, filled with feels, amazing, awesome, family Titans BBRae story... this book will give you everything... or any of Beautifulpurpleflame's stories really...

I mean, that girl... is a legend... Her stories are so great.. just... I'm speechless

Don't forget to check 'em out.

You can also follow this amazing writer on Tumblr, @beautifulpurpleflame , and show her some love and support.

Okay, another story... Now this may be considered cheating, as I'm only including completed stories... but I couldn't stop myself from not mentioning this story...

Nevermore Records -by LilyTimbers | Rated T

According to the author, only one chapter and an epilogue is left... so, I guess we could wave it off with a yellow flag?

I, myself, can't go on a single day without music. And the idea of my favorite team of superheroes... being a Rock Band..? Boy, ya' don't gotta tell me twice!

This is a slow burn story, which includes Gar in his mid-twenties, along with the other Titans (except Raven), being a part of a Rock Band, which plays gigs at different places just as a side hobby. But, as they have real talent, they get a once in a life-time chance to be an officially labeled band, they're ought to be super hit. Here, we also see some other Titans, which is a real sight for sore eyes sometimes... But, just being good doesn't mean that everything's out for them in a gold platter. The team itself faces lots of challenges which is, truth be told, really entertaining. And the fact that Gar's love interest is his own manager? Oooh... you're up for a real good ride...

I'll keep the rest of the reading to you... and believe me, the story is waaay better than my small review.

The author is also an amazing artist, and has many beautiful BBRae fanarts on her Tumblr profile @lilytimbers , so you can follow her for updates! (though tbh I think you already do... but I felt like saying it, soo...)

If you're also a sucker for musical band based BBRae story, don't forget to check out

Harmony -by Kid Walker | Rated M

Here, Raven joins a singing group which does covers, and quite willingly, she can't seem to keep her eyes off of their leader/director, Gar Logan... and looks like he can't either. It's an amazing story, and I believe you'll really enjoy reading it!

(The story itself is complete, just some extra bonus chapters that the Author posts are yet to be updated, so I guess this story qualifies.)

There is also a huge collection of amazing BBRae AU stories on Wattpad, too many to count, but here are two stories that I remember... and had a good time reading...

(On Wattpad only: (and only completed ones.))

High School -by anssoftball94

Soo... as you might've guessed from the title, here Gar and Rae are high schoolers. They live together with Rick (Dick/Robin), Kory and Vic in the Tower. I guess we could call it a slow burn, and what I enjoy is it also has the other Titans in a satisfying amount.

What I love about this story is that Gar and Rae don't just jump into a romantic relationship (like most teens do, I'm just sayin'!) and start a romance, no. In this story, first, they understand each other... and in a subtle manner, fall for each other. It's a really sweet and practical story, and I really enjoyed it... (even though I had to wait for the ending for decades!!)

Just one thing that makes this story a bit weird is that instead of "Gar" or "Garfield", Beast Boy is mentioned as "Logan" throughout the whole story... so... it was a bit... y'know? *shruggs*. But otherwise it's a must read.

A+ -by NikolaDabrowska

This story, to be honest, will definitely qualify as a cliché high school romance, "popular basketball kid falls for introverted bookworm nerd", but I really enjoyed reading it.

I mean like, you know what they say about Disney Classics, right? Even though we've read Beauty and The Beast or Snow White, we still like to watch the movies..? This story's like that.

Even though the troupe is kinda cliché, the story itself is executed in a very engaging manner, with interesting character dynamics and some original plots, so, I would definitely recommend reading it. (I, myself, have read it more than five times...)

So, that was a list of the BBRae AU stories that I highly recommend! There are more amazing (and incomplete) stories out there to read, but these are just the ones I've thoroughly enjoyed (and remembered.)

Also, feel free to share your BBRae story, if you have written any, and I'll happily read and support your story!!

Happy Reading!

Quick endnote, if you've read this post till here, do me a favor and check out my stories too! ;)

On Fanfiction.net and Wattpad.

All of my stories are complete, instead of "Tease Is Just The Cover" on FF.net (which I don't think I'm gonna work on any time soon), so feel free to check 'em out!

Sorry for the advertising, but I also want an audience y'know?

THANK YOU! And I hope you have a good day/evening/night ahead!

#bbrae #garchel #garrae #teen titans #fanfiction #au #alternate universe #recommendations #fanfic recommendation #titans #raven #rachel roth #raven roth #beast boy #changeling #gar logan #garfield logan

84 notes · View notes

demonslayedher · 3 years

Note

Any Kny character you've grown to love/appreciate more??

Thanks for waiting, Anon, I have been trying to really, really hard to narrow this down, but the answer remains: the vast majority of the cast. The only character I loved right away was Tanjiro and that love kept me watching, as with almost every new character I was like, "ugh, I hate this guy. Here I was, having fun being emotionally invested in a high quality anime, and this might ruin it for me." But then the instant I see a different side of their character, I'm like, "...Oh." To go into some examples...

Zenitsu: I could not stand him right away, I hate womanizers, and his conniptions would go on so long that they held up the story. But Gotouge/Ufotable strung me along perfectly, the first glimpse of Thunder Breath made me immediately pay attention and think, "oh, that was cool. I want to see more of that." Seeing him protect the box pretty firmly put him in the "I need to protect this child" box in my heart. And then the spider demon happens, and I'm sending desperate reaction messages to a friend like "NOOOOOO!!!! BABBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYY!!!!" And then he annoyed me all over again at the start of Functional Recovery, ahaha. It's hard to remember how annoyed I was because I'm such a Zen Stan now, and he was a very firm favorite of mine by the time I finished binging the anime up to the last couple episodes, which I waited for as they came out. Inosuke: He was one of the reasons I was curious about the series, I saw some promotional art and was super curious about Nezuko's muzzle (I was one of the people who thought it was some ancient scroll or something, haha) and the kid with the boar mask. The art I saw showed his face, and I assumed he'd be some kid with a cracking voice performed by a female seiyuu. As much as I love Matsuoka's performance now, initially, since I knew what his face looked like, I found it grossly off-putting the moment I heard it. Then every chaotic thing Inosuke did dug a deeper hole; I very quickly decided I hated him, especially when he started beating up on the kid I was starting to like. As his chaos subsided he just became a character I tolerated, and then this happened:

Images you can hear, am I right? This immediately flipped the "BABY" switch in my heart. It was also a lot of fun to understand the Inosuke memes I was seeing everywhere. So by the end of the anime, I loved, loved, loved, loved the Tanjiro/Zenitsu/Inosuke interactions and desperately wanted more (still didn't like how Zenitsu bothered Nezuko, though). I was so impatient for more, but the manga art looked disappointingly off-putting. I figured the anime was successful enough that there'd eventually be more of it, and I wanted to be patient, but then I poked around, read some spoilers, got back into Tumblr to look at fanart and memes, saw a spoiler image of Tanjiro affected by Muzan's poison and the binge-read began. (That's kind of a lie, but I'll get to that.) Let's back up a few episodes. There I was, having a great time, the guy who I forgot about from Episode 1 was back and haha, I guess everyone hates him, and the chick who I figured was going to be a medic who saves Zenitsu in the nick of time turned out to be savage, awesome. I was sending reactions to my friends who were ahead of me, and then we left off seeing the Pillars staring down Best Boy. And I...

Well. Uh. Here, I've dug up an old convo for you, my comments are in blue.

Immediately followed by a passionate vocal rant, which I have transcribed here:

“I feel like what happened was that the mangaka was sitting around with his assistants and was like, ‘welp, gotta make this whole cast of characters, they gotta be so-o-o-o many more levels of extreme than all the other characters I’ve had so far, which isn’t hard, because all of the background characters are cannon fodder and I’ve just gotta leave them all with black hair and no personality traits. So! Gotta go to the opposite of the spectrum with the BIG! POWERFUL! People so no-o-o-body can be normal.’ And so he and his assistants sat down, and they all wrote down just random words or traits, and them put ‘em all in a hat. And then for each character, they pulled out a few of them and said, ‘OK. We’re gonna put these things together, now we have a character.’ And he was probably also like, ‘Iiiiiiiiiiiii’ll flesh them out later. For now, they just need t’… be there, and make an impact. How do we make an impact? By making sure it’s super, super clear what their character traits are. Here, we’ll have this guy repeat the word //HADE//…. ////HA DEEE//// over and over and over… to show that he’s a /showy/ person. Because he /cares/ about that. And he //should// care because that is his character and that’s why he’s powerful.’ OH MY GOSH, it’s so dumb.”

......orz I feel like Genya looking back at how he acted at the end of the Final Selection. I'm sorry, Gotouge, I had not even encountered your love for these characters yet in your little alligator form. Nor had I encountered the yet unseen-sides of these traumatized dragons and tigers. ...*coughs* Um. So. I was pretty harsh.

So this was my mindset, I went into the manga not caring about most of these characters and just wanting more Kamaboko squad interactions and wanting to hurry up and catch up to the battle with Muzan. And it's worth stating that I didn't mean to read it at first. I encountered a few spoilers, and just wanted to look for the context surrounding those parts, and then hunt for the (non-existent) build-up to those parts, and so... uh.........

I read a lot of the manga out of order, and yeah, that did affect how much I cared about what was going on. I didn't actually properly process a lot of it until later re-reads. But to try to state some things simply about each Pillar:

Giyuu: He was just 'ok' to me for a long time, I could see the appeal for why people I knew were fangirling over him but he didn't do it for me. His soft spot for Tanjiro was indeed endearing, though, and I firmly liked him by the time chapter 200 came out and I was properly heartbroken on his behalf.

Shinobu: She was intriguing, and then I liked her as soon as I saw her savage side, she was one of the characters I went hunting for spoilers for.

Rengoku: That stare really put me off at first, but I fell for him over the process of Tanjiro falling for him. When I first finished the train arc I sat back and said, "wow! That's going to make for a good movie!" and then in psyching myself out for the movie several months in advance, I fell hook, line, and sinker and was totally excited for him each time I saw the trailers. And then the movie was *stunning* and I love him even more. Uzui: He was the Pillar I hated most upon first meeting them. I blame the repeated use of his catchphrase. But then when he let his hair down to sell the kiddos the change in design helped warm me up more to him, like, "oh, there was a human in there." It took a long time for him to become more interesting to me, and an uncharacteristically subtle journey to becoming a character I liked. I am currently getting more and more psyched out for him and eager to see how much more I'm going to like him with the shiny Ufotable treatment. Mitsuri: At first I didn't remember her name, I had code-named her as "Boobs." But I kinda had a feeling she was going to grow on me quickly, and I was right, she's one of my easy favorites now. Muichiro: Who? Oh yeah, that kid who always kinda fell to the wayside in my attention. I'd see a lot of Muichiro-themed blogs and hear a lot of little girls looking at merch and showing a clear favoritism of him, and I'd like always react like Muichiro and just be like, "...", and then when I read his major battles I was more emotionally invested in things going on concurrently with other characters, and I was still like, "...", and then two days ago I revisited a Muichiro scene and was suddenly like, "......OH!!! MUICHIRO!!!!!" Himejima: I never really hated Himejima, even if I found his first impression kind of wimpy (haha... oh, I was so wrong). I had a pretty easy acceptance of him too, so I would generally count him among characters I like, but if you were to ask me why, I'd draw a blank. It's kind of a weirdly mature, subdued appreciation for him rather than passionate fangirling. But weirdly when I was daydreaming the other day I found myself thinking, "if I had to marry someone in the KnY cast, it would be Himejima." So like, not a fiery romance, but I see him as my dependable, sturdy rock to grow old with??? What is up with you, sub-conscious?? Iguro: My interest in him rises and falls. Being a Mitsuri fan helped warm me up to his character in the first place, which was the emotional tie I needed since his backstory didn't grip me much (I found it a frustrating distraction while I was desperately reading weekly updates). Reading more subtle details about his character in the fanbooks has brought me around and made me more curious about him, like I'd really like to be a fly on the wall for the conversation he had with Uzui one day about their pasts.

Sanemi: Hahaha, wow. He was so unlikable in the beginning, wasn't he? His character design (yeah, the eyes) was really off-putting too. But then I got to know him and there was no going back, I got totally played. He's a character I'm pretty fond of now and one of the characters I've enjoyed delving into most in fanfic. To keep this answer from getting too long, for the vaaaaaast majority of the cast, I was initially like, "meh" or "OK" or "ew" but now am like, "EEEEEEEEE, I LOVE THIS TOTALLY RANDOM UNIMPORTANT SIDE CHARACTERRRRRRR" so you know... times change. And the more time I spend obsessed with Kimetsu no Yaiba, the more I like them all, so even the characters I'm lukewarm on will probably have their eventual days when they take over my heart and smash it.

#what do I even tag this?#it's not meta or nerdery #it's just me being a fangirl #Kimetsu no Yaiba #Demon Slayer

53 notes · View notes

bugsbucky · 4 years

Text

DITTO

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky are on a mission and forced to share the king sized bed. Which wouldn’t usually have been a problem if you and Bucky didn’t hate each other’s guts.

Warnings: teasing, flirting, possibly some sexual tension, enemies to lovers, language, foreplay, implied smut.

Word Count: 1,651 (ooops)

Authors Notes: this is for @the-ss-horniest-book-club 24 Hour Surprise Drabble in collaboration with @the-ce-horniest-book-club / @the-th-horniest-book-club and @the-mcu-horniest-book-club. Today’s theme was Tropes and I picked There’s Only One Bed and Enemies To Lovers from the list! Hope you enjoy ❤️

“Oh yeah baby. A king size bed just for me!” You squealed in delight as you face planted into the soft mattress.

“You mean, a king size bed just for us?” Bucky mumbled setting his duffel bag down and toeing off his combat boots.

It was a long trip, Upstate New York to California for the weekend. Okay, well maybe it wasn’t that long but it seemed that way because you were stuck with Barnes the whole time.

Tony needed you and Barnes to come here and work undercover, to retrieve some information from club members about some illegal trade of hydra weapons, or something like that. You weren’t really sure since whenever Tony started to talk, your ears closed up most of the time.

But you couldn’t deny the gorgeous ocean view from the rented condo Tony had found. The french doors were opened, the ocean breeze swooping throughout the condo. It was obviously a step up from the grotty motel room you found yourself staying in just a week ago.

“No Mr Barnes. This is my bed. That’s your bed.” You wagged your finger to the floor and Bucky scoffed, stepping in front of you with his big arms folded over that ridiculous buff chest of his.

“I’m not a dog Y/N. I don’t give a fuck if you like it or not but I am sleeping in this bed with you tonight. Feel free to take the floor, I don’t mind.” He grinned and if it wasn’t for your phone ringing, you might have knocked that grin off his face.

“What is it Tony?!” You snapped unintentionally. Bucky laughed and started to unpack his duffel bag as if to piss you off even more and make a point that he was staying in here tonight.

In your dreams you handsome, gorgeous asshole.

“Whoa there. Who took a shit in your bed? Anyway I have an update. I need you and Barnes at the club by 7PM sharp.” Tony gave the orders and you rolled your eyes, flipping Bucky off when you saw he was laying on his side of the bed.

“Yes boss.” You sassed and threw your phone at Bucky. “Get off the fucking bed and get dressed.” You ordered, grabbing your own clothes and storming into the bathroom. You slammed the door shut and groaned when Bucky yelled through the door.

“YES BOSS. Right away BOSS.” His voice was muffled behind the door and it might have been pointless but you flipped him off once again.

“I hate that fucking guy.” You muttered, turning the jet shower on. You just hoped there would be free food at the party.

***

The mission was a success. You’re not sure how you and Barnes managed to keep it together for so long without being down each other’s throats, but you did and it paid off.

You got the information you were looking for recorded on a small device that was strapped to your thigh. Now it meant you could enjoy the next couple of days relaxing, grabbing a sun tan and avoiding Barnes as much as possible.

“I’m really surprised you didn’t act like such a fucking brat tonight doll.” Bucky complimented as he took his suit off.

“I’m surprised you didn’t wedge your head up your ass.” You retorted as you undressed and changed into your comfy pyjamas. You couldn’t wait to sleep in your king size bed tonight. Your comment earned a snort from the man who just loved the tease and piss you off. It was his mission, it just didn’t matter what he was doing, he would always find a way to squeeze in a moment to annoy you.

“Yeah well, the only thing that did go up my ass was my boxers. I hate wedgies.” He chuckled and you wondered for a moment if he was testing you. He slipped his slacks off and threw them on the chair in the corner of the room and pulled the duvet cover back.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? I told you this was my bed.” You walked around to his side of the bed with your hands on your hips and your jaw gaped open as he proceeded to make himself as comfortable as fucking possible.

“Look. We’re not fucking five, we’re mature adults and the bed is big enough for both of us. Stop acting like a spoiled princess and get into bed and sleep.”

“No. You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

“I just did now get into bed before I throw you on the mattress and sleep on top of you.” He warned, pulling the duvet back when you refused to budge. “I’ll fucking do it.”

“I don’t care.” You muttered and dropped your gaze to your feet.

“What?”

“You know what.” Bucky swung his legs over the edge of the bed and rested his palms on his -holy shit- muscled thighs that you just noticed. The man has been holding out on you. “If you wanna sleep on the floor, be my guest.” He smirked.

“If you hate me I don’t know why you’re trying to so hard to get me into bed with you.” You scoffed and shook your head. You turned away but his hand reached out and grabbed your wrist, gently pulling you back.

“I don’t hate you. You hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, you just annoy me which I thought was why you hated me.”

“I annoy you because you hate me and keep calling me an asshole.”

“I call you an asshole because you-”

“Shut up and come ‘ere. This could go on all night and I’m dead tired.”

“No I’m not done yet. So you were- AH!” You squealed as Bucky hoisted you up over his shoulder and threw you on the mattress as he promised earlier. You bounced and giggled, the feeling being similar to jumping on an 8ft trampoline. Bucky also kept his other promise and climbed on top of you.

“What do you think you’re doing?” You giggled up at him. His large hands took your smaller ones and held them above your head. His hips slipped between your now open legs like a piece of jigsaw puzzle.

“I told you that if you weren’t going to get into bed that I’d throw you on it and sleep on top of you. I’m a man of my word doll. Now goodnight.” He pecked your lips quickly and shifted around to find a comfortable position.

Of course as he was moving his hips, his clothed member was becoming hard and kept rutting against your core. You sighed softly, your legs wrapping around his waist on their own accord.

Bucky’s face was buried in your neck, breathing in the delicious scent you showered yourself in earlier during your shower. His teeth gently grazed the skin, biting and sucking to leave a mark.

“Bucky- what the hell are we doing?” You whispered against his ear. His hair curtained his face but you could see the once blue orbs had changed into a lustful shade of black.

“I don’t know doll. But I really don’t hate you, never have and never will. It’s quite the opposite actually.” His cheeks were dusted in a cute shade of pink as those black orbs locked onto yours.

“Ditto.” Your blush matched his, a low growl from your lips when his tip unintentionally knocked against your clit.

Bucky’s tongue darted out to wet his dry lips before he lowered them to yours. They were soft and warm.

Your lips parted and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue in and fight for dominance. His non-bionic hand travelled under your sleep shirt and cupped your soft breast. His thumb and forefinger pinched your hardening nipple, eliciting a soft moan from you in response.

“Are you sure you want this? Once I stop I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.” He panted, his minted breath fanned in your face.

“I’m sure Buck.” Those three words was all it took for Bucky to move his lips from your lips to your throat and down to the swells of your breasts. He pulled off your top, throwing it into the corner of the room somewhere as he continued his journey.

His lips found your nipples, kissing, gently biting and sucking. Your moans grew louder and your panties became more soaked by each passing second.

Once he gave both breasts attention, he continued kissing down your stomach, nipping and sucking any bits of skin his teeth could grip. He was marking you and that thought turned you on even more.

He settled between your legs, a wet patch on the front of your cotton panties giving away just how aroused you were. His fingers hooked on each side of the waistband and slowly peeled them down your legs.

He licked his lips when he was faced with his prize; your glorious wet pussy. Your juices had seeped from your entrance and dripped to the inner side of your thighs.

Bucky kissed his way up your legs, taking his sweet time and giving both legs his full attention just like he did with your breasts.

He looked up through hooded eyes and watched as you were moaning impatiently and squirming under his touches and kisses. You were this wet and he didn’t even fuck you yet. He decided he had teased you enough and pressed a light kiss to your mound.

“Are you sure doll?” He asked for a second time. You hugged out impatiently and propped yourself up on your elbows.

“Bucky. If you do not fuck me right now I will personally tear off your dick and fuck myself with it. Under- ohhh.” You moaned as his tongue delved between your lips, finally putting his tongue on the sensitive nub you’ve been desperate for.

Taglist: @jobean12-blog @marvelgirl7 @godofplumsandthunder @hawksmagnolia @deanthedemon @crushedbyhyperbole @eurynome827 @emilylyoness @buckybarnesplumwhore @buckys-henley @sarge-barnes-sir @this-kitten-is-smitten @kitkatd7 @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @littleredstarfish @tuiccim @mystoragehatesme @starspangledseb @bambamwolf87 @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @lokilvrr @buckbuckybucko @supernaturalwintersoldier @winedrunkbarnes @coffeebooksandfandom @the-romanian-is-bae @dark-academics-and-florals

502 notes · View notes

searchingwardrobes · 3 years

Text

Not the Type - 6/8

Finally! A new update :) Sorry for the delay, but the muse has been fickle as of late. In this chapter, Emma has her first competition of the season, and it's psyching her out. Will Killian be her encouragement, or will she push him away in the midst of it all? This chapter includes another iconic scene from the movie, when Torrance dances around her room to Cliff's song. I wanted to use the actual lyrics to the song, but in looking at it, there were a few lines that bothered me. One literally says "I'd bring you flowers every day just to roll you in the hay." And then there's a constant refrain that says "I'll make you mine." Those lines just don't seem to jive for me with Killian's character when in canon he specifically tells David that he doesn't see Emma as loot and tells Emma that he will win her heart, but not through any trickery. We know he isn't the kind of guy to give a woman flowers in order to manipulate her into sleeping with him. We also know how much agency means to him, so I didn't think telling Emma in song "I'll make you mine" fit either. Anyways, that's a long way of explaining that the lyrics are 99% like the ones in the movie, minus those two parts.

Massive thanks to my beta, @hookedonapirate who takes my confusing sentences and makes them sound purty ;) You’re the best! And thanks also to the @captainswanmoviemarathon for putting together this event and being massively supportive and patient.

Summary: Emma Swan first notices him in the stands at the Friday night football game. She can tell right away Killian Jones is not the football type. Then again, she’s not the cheerleader type either, but here she is with pom poms. Life hasn’t ever gone the way Emma planned. Lately, that’s actually been a good thing. Maybe Killian Jones is a good thing, too.

My loose Captain Swan AU of the movie Bring it On

Rated: T

Also on Ao3

Tagging: @kmomof4 @snowbellewells @whimsicallyenchantedrose @xhookswenchx @teamhook @let-it-raines @winterbythesea @spartanguard @shireness-says @superchocovian @thesschesthair @resident-of-storybrooke @vvbooklady1256 @hookedonapirate @ultraluckycatnd @hollyethecurious @welllpthisishappening @wellhellotragic @bethacaciakay @optomisticgirl @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @ekr032-blog-blog @itsfabianadocarmo @profdanglaisstuff @thisonesatellite @winterbaby89 @tiganasummertree @xsajx @jennjenn615 @zaharadessert @stahlop @scientificapricot @thislassishooked @kday426 @ultraluckycatnd @carpedzem @ohmakemeahercules @branlovestowrite @delirious-latenight-laughs @jennjenn615 @snidgetsafan @lassluna

The room was thick with hair spray, and Emma and the rest of the Storybrooke Knights Cheerleaders were sucking on orange slices. Except for Ruby who was touching up her blood red lipstick in front of one of the mirrors propped up on the classroom’s smart board.

“I think they’re red enough already, Ruby,” Coach Ava remarked as she sprayed more Aquanet all over her daughter’s hair. MM was having to wear a hair extension so she didn’t look out of place with their “hair” theme, and Coach was paranoid it was going to go flying across the gym floor during their routine. Emma wasn’t sure hairspray worked that way, but she wasn’t about to say so.

Ruby smacked her lips together with a loud pop. “The redder the better, I say. I want them to see my smile.”

She turned to the rest of the group and flashed a toothy grin. They all laughed, and Belle grimaced.

“More like a predator about to devour her prey.”

Ruby winked at Belle and growled, resulting in more laughter. Coach Ava rolled her eyes as she capped the hairspray. “Just don’t get it all over your teeth, okay Lucas?”

“No worries, Coach, it’s that long-lasting stuff that isn’t supposed to come off.”

“So why did you need fifty coats?” Tiana quipped.

They were all still laughing when a woman wearing a t-shirt that read, East Maybrook Invitational and holding an ipad poked her head into the classroom. “Storybrooke High in the hole!”

The girls all stood, gathering up their things, tossing orange peels into the trash bins and giving their hair and make up one last glance in the mirror. They followed the woman in the official t-shirt down two hallways to East Maybrook High’s cafeteria where cheer mats had been set up in the same configuration as on the performance floor. The girls took their places as if they were really performing, and marked out the routine while Coach Ava counted out the beats. If something went wrong with the music, they would have to keep going. They only pantomimed doing the stunts, however, not wanting to risk a last minute injury.

After running through the routine, a nervous silence fell among them. Some girls stretched, others did a few jumps, or even a back handspring. Anything to handle their nervous energy. Emma bounced on the balls of her feet, heart pounding in her chest more than usual. A phone call had followed the letter: someone from the UK cheer staff would be in the stands today.

And she still hadn’t told her friends about it.

“Storybrooke High on deck!”

The girls gave each other nervous glances and clasped hands in little groups as they followed the woman out of the cafeteria doors. Emma had Ruby on her left and Mary Margaret on her right, their arms threaded together. For once, Ruby was quiet.

As they neared the gym, the girls could hear the familiar sounds of competition: loud music, an announcer's voice, shouts as the audience cheered for the cheerleaders for once. It made the adrenaline pump even harder. It usually was at this moment that Emma went into her competitive “zone” where everything around her went fuzzy and her mind became laser focused on the routine and what she had to do. Today, however, she felt like she was on sensory overload, unable to turn off all the sights, sounds, and smells around her.

Before she could even process everything, Storybrooke was being announced to the crowd. Emma ran out onto the floor with a huge smile, cheers, and fist pumps for the crowd, but it felt like she was outside of herself, watching. She took her place on the floor, standing in prep, her arms straight at her sides and her head down. Her fists were clenched, and she tried to control the nervous tremors coursing through her as she waited for their music to start.

A synth-pop remix of “Hair” from the Broadway musical started to play, and the Storybrooke Knights whipped their ponytails as they started their back handspring/back tuck peel-offs. Coach Ava always said that the music needed to appeal to every generation represented in the judge’s panel as well as the crowd, and as Emma flawlessly landed her tumbling pass to roaring applause, she saw the two boomer judges smiling and bopping to the music.

She reprimanded herself for looking at the judges as she jogged across the floor for her next tumbling pass. Nevertheless, she scanned the crowd just before she started her pass, wondering where that UK recruiter was. It was the most difficult pass in the entire routine: a back handspring into an arabian, then a double whip into a full twisting double back. She hesitated, stumbling, before getting started because of her distraction, and by the time she did her second whip, she had a sinking feeling. Sure enough, when she landed her double back, she was way out of bounds. She didn’t need the loud buzzer from the line judge to alert her to the fact. She gritted her teeth in frustration, but then remembered to fake a smile as she got into the dance formation. Her face ached from her forced smile as she swung her hips to the rhythm of “Whip My Hair.”

Emma’s next mistake came in the squad’s first pyramid. It felt like she had a weight attached to her ankle, and she couldn’t lift her leg as high as she normally did to connect to Mary Margaret’s stunt group to her left. She almost lost her balance completely, but Ruby compensated and saved it. Mary Margaret didn’t falter either, thank God. Emma was practically shaking as she went into the twist up stunt - her nemesis in this routine. Kelly Rowland singing “Crown” as Emma popped up, her hand grasping her ponytail, helped her power through, as cheesy as it sounded.

Despite the mistakes Emma was berating herself for, the crowd was going crazy for the combination of the theme, the music, and the cool tricks. By the end, the entire gymnasium was on its feet with thunderous applause. Emma ended the routine seated on the mat, back to the audience with her head flung back. Since she saw them all upside down, she couldn’t pick out her family or anyone in Kentucky blue.

Ruby yanked Emma to her feet, screaming loud enough to shatter her eardrums. Mary Margaret and Ariel sandwiched her in a hug, and then they were swept away by the rest of their ecstatic teammates.

“Amazing job, girls!” Coach Ava praised, gathering them in a big, squirming, awkward group hug. “Mary Margaret didn’t even lose her hair!’’

They all laughed giddily, except for Emma. Her mind was reeling. “I went out of bounds,” she confessed.

Coach Ava waved off her words. “It’s our first competition. It’s normal for there to be kinks to work out. Let’s not worry about that until the next practice, though. For now, let’s just celebrate a solid opening for the season.”

Her teammates seemed to all be in agreement, and so did the judges, awarding The Storybrooke Knights with a third place finish. It wasn’t their best opening - that had been last year’s first place trophy to kick off the season - but making the top three was the goal of every top squad right out of the gate. Even the UK recruiter had congratulated her on a solid routine.

“I could see the nerves a bit,” she told Emma, her smile kind and reassuring, “but the level of tumbling skill you possess is rare. Top five I’ve seen so far, no doubt about it. We’ll definitely be in touch.”

Emma, however, couldn’t shake the feeling of failure that clung to her.

“I’m blown away, Swan, that was amazing!”

Emma was in Killian’s arms before she could even register that he’d rushed out of the bleachers and onto the floor to greet her. He brushed a kiss to her cheek and deposited a bouquet of white daisies into her arms.

“It wasn’t amazing,” Emma whispered, staring down at the white flowers.

“Come now, don’t be modest.” Killian’s grin conveyed giddy pride in her which she found inexplicably annoying.

“I stepped out of bounds on my big tumbling pass, I almost took down our first pyramid, and I was shaky on every single stunt!”

Killian’s eyes narrowed. “Your team doesn’t seem put out with you.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “They’re being nice. If we hadn’t placed, it would have been a different story. It would have all been my fault.”

“Whatever happened to the whole we win as a team, we fail as a team thing?”

“My team relies on me keeping my head on straight!” Her voice had risen, and she slashed the air with the bouquet of flowers. White petals fluttered to the gym floor.

Killian cocked his head and studied her. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Nothing!”

“It’s something, Swan.”

He stepped forward, reaching for her, but she stepped out of his reach.

“I just let everyone down, but no one will be straight with me. Why can’t you all just admit I screwed up today?”

Killian shook his head. “I don’t think you’re seeing things clearly. I saw an amazingly talented athlete today, Swan. You were amazing.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. Of course you’d say that. You’re a high school guy. You’ll say anything you have to to get in a cheerleader’s panties.”

Killian’s eyes widened and his head jerked back as if she’d slapped him. “You really think so little of me?”

She tilted her chin. “I’m no fool. Did you think tonight would be the night? Show up to my little competition, compliment me, throw in some flowers, and I’d spread my legs for you?”

Killian backed away, his jaw clenching, nostrils flaring. “I’m going to assume you don’t mean any of that, Emma, so I’m walking away before either of us can say anything we might regret.”

“Fine!” she yelled as he turned and walked toward the gym doors. “Walk away! That’s what every guy does when a girl won’t put out.” She threw the flowers at his retreating form. She watched the white petals swirl through the air and the green stems hit the parquet floor with a soft swish and crinkle of cellophane wrapper.

“Emma!”

She whirled around to see Ruth standing there, frown upon her face and her brow furrowed. David stood next to her, his arms crossed in disapproval. Nearby a cluster of her teammates stared as if she’d morphed into some mythological creature with two heads. Her face burned as she realized how loudly she’d yelled at her boyfriend.

Probably ex-boyfriend now.

Humiliated, she turned and fled, fingers pressed to her flaming cheeks.

*********************************************

“Go away,” Emma muttered into her pillow.

“What if I were Mom with a plate of brownies?”

Emma grabbed a teddy bear, clutching two tiny red pom poms (a gift from Ruth after last year’s state championship win), and smacked her brother in the head with it. She glared at him through one eye, the rest of her face still smashed into the pillow.

“I knew it was you because you crashed down on my bed hard enough to catapult me out the window. Ruth’s more subtle.”

David just laughed as he rubbed at his cheek where the bear had met his face.

“Go away,” she repeated, turning her face fully into the pillow again.

“You left your phone downstairs.”

“So?”

“So, you have like fifty text messages and thirty missed calls.”

Emma rolled over, still clutching her pillow to her chest. “Well, he’s persistent, I’ll give him that.”

“It wasn’t just Killian. Your entire team is worried about you.”

“Because I choked?”

“Because you're delusional,” David shot back with equal parts humor and frustration. “You didn’t choke. You didn’t let any of us down. You didn’t give a lousy performance, or any of a thousand other ridiculous claims you’ve made in the past few hours.”

Emma turned to look at her brother. “I made mistakes, David.”

He shrugged. “Who doesn’t? It was one competition, Emma, not the Olympics. It wasn’t even the state championships or regionals. One. Competition. At some tiny high school in the middle of nowhere, Maine.”

Emma groaned as she pushed herself up to the headboard and let her head drop to David’s shoulder. He put his arm around her and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Kentucky?”

Emma sighed. When the recruiter had called, she insisted on speaking to Ruth as well. Emma should have known she would spill the beans to her son, especially after Emma acted like a complete lunatic.

Yes, a delusional lunatic. Her brother wasn’t wrong.

“I don’t know, it was just . . . a lot to process. And a lot rides on this. I mean, there aren’t any football recruiters looking at you, which means college is gonna be expensive, Mr. Quarterback. If my tuition is taken care of, Ruth can just worry about you.”

“I could get other scholarships.”

“You’re a white, middle class male. You aren't getting any other scholarships.”

He chuckled and poked her in the ribs. “Regardless of all that, Mom just wants what’s best for you. We’ll figure out college and the money and all that, but we’ll do it together. That’s what a family does. Okay?”

This family thing was still new for Emma, so she just nodded in agreement against David’s shoulder.

“But speaking of Killian,” David said, waving her phone in front of her face, “some of these calls and texts are from him. He sent you a video, too. Then called me and pretty much begged me to get you to watch it, so just give him that much, okay? So he’ll leave me alone?”

Emma rolled her eyes as she took the phone. David could protest all he wanted, but she knew about the little bromance he had with her boyfriend.

She waited until her brother went downstairs before she sat cross-legged in the center of her bed and pulled up the video from Killian. She gnawed on her bottom lip nervously before pressing “play.”

And there Killian was, on the tiny screen, smiling like they’d never had a fight. Emma’s lips pulled up into a grin of her own. He was also holding his guitar in his lap and fidgeting.

“Hi, Emma,” he said with a nervous little wave. “You’ve been ignoring all my calls and texts, so I decided to pull out the big guns. I was gonna give this to you as a gift for like Valentine’s Day or something, but . . . you know . . . desperate times call for desperate measures.”

He cleared his throat and shifted again, and Emma blinked back tears. She’d never seen him at such a loss for words.

“I wrote you a song,’ he continued, “so, I’ll just shut up and sing it already.”

Emma gasped, her hand flying to her mouth as he began to strum his electric. It started

out as a kind of slow, cheeky punk rock ballad.

Oh, Emma, I don’t get your cheerleading squad, but I love your pom-poms. I'd feed you bon-bons all night.

Then it transitioned into a full on rock song, and Killian began to shred on his guitar. He was really good, and the song had Emma bobbing her head to the music.

1,2,3,4. Yeah, you got me to feel all those butterflies inside. In your locker I would hide. The truth, it's only you I see, and you're just what I need. I'll bring you flowers all the time in hopes that you’ll be mine. Well I'm feelin' fine, I'm right on time. I hope I’ll win your heart.

When he transitioned into the chorus, Emma leapt up from her bed. She propped her phone on her nightstand and began to dance around the room to Killian’s song.

And you're just what I need. And you're just what I need. Not everything works as it seems. Is that so hard to believe? So I went down to the record store. Picked my head up off the floor. The truth, it's only you I see. And you're just what I need. And if it's my world that you fear, let me make this very clear. Well I'm feelin' fine, I'm right on time. I hope I’ll win your heart. And you're just what I need.

The chorus repeated a couple more times, and Emma danced around her room like she hadn’t in a long time. She even grabbed an old pair of pom poms she’d gotten as a joke at the squad’s white elephant Christmas party. They were those enormous pom poms cheerleaders used to wave in the long ago days of letter sweaters and megaphones. They made a fun swishing sound as she bounced around the room to Killian’s song.

A song he’d written for her! A song about her! If she wasn’t so giddy and happy, she would burst into tears.

When the song ended, Emma collapsed onto her bed, panting from her ridiculous dance party and grinning ear to ear. She rolled over and grabbed her phone. She texted rapidly, her fingers trembling.

I watched your song.

Did you like it?

I LOVED it!

Good. I meant every word.

I’m sorry.

I know.

#cs ff #captain swan movie marathon #csmm #bring it on au #lieutenant duckling #high school au

43 notes · View notes

soldouthaz · 4 years

Photo

hey! beneath the cut you’ll find a list of fics I've read and re-read this month. it’s been almost two months since my last rec so I thought I would update you guys just in case!

as always, the fics are marked with their details as well as if it is b!L, b!H, or smut free. please make sure to pay attention to this if it’s something that you’re interested in and only interact with the ones that align with your tastes. be kind and considerate and always think about leaving a nice comment or kudos or reblog if you read! I think everyone could use some positivity right now :)

I'm also putting together a list of halloween themed fics coming out in October so make sure to look out for that as well!

happy reading!

read this month

✰ loving you’s a bloodsport by @rosesau 106k | royal au | no smut

harry is a bratty prince, louis is a guard who works in his palace, and niall is the only one who's got his life in control. as someone once said: this is not a love story, but love is in it. that is, love is just outside it, looking for a way to break in.

✰ take my whole life too by @goodmorninglou 18k | dom/sub | WIP | b!L

Louis knows three things, at the base of it all.

He likes when Harry hurts him. He doesn’t know why, not really, but he knows that he likes it. Likes giving up control, likes feeling small and taken care of, likes being praised for taking whatever Harry gives him for as long as he gives it.

He and Harry are meant to be. No matter what time they finally fall together, what day, what age, what place, the moment that they do, that’ll be it. It’s going to be them against everyone else, hand in hand for the rest of their lives. That’s been a given since they met. The half of Louis’ soul that’s missing is Harry’s.

And, sans those two things, he doesn’t really know much of anything at all.

✰ quiet people have the loudest minds by @2tiedships2 38k | a/b/o | heavily implied b!L

The one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

✰ there’s nothing like it, nothing at all by @falsegoodnight 15k | dom/sub | b!L | sequel

Harry isn’t ready for things to change, and the end is just the beginning.

✰ filthy musings by @smrwine 55k | one shots | b!L

A collection of drabbles for your reading pleasure.

✰ fuck u betta by @jacaranda-bloom 11k | PWP | b!L

There’s something about having Louis like this, exposed and desperate, that makes a primal urge bubble up from deep inside Harry’s chest. Desire mixed with something else, something unquantifiable. It’s the thing that makes them want this, need this. Nothing else will satisfy them or quench their thirst.

OR the one where Harry likes the thrill of the chase, Louis likes to be chased, and everyone gets what they need… in the end.

✰ three days in february by @mercurial-madhouse / writing_practice 189k | slight magic | b!L

Louis is cursed after a night out with the lads and the five have just three days to figure out what happened and how to break it before Harry and Louis both lose their sanity and maybe something more. Louis can hear everything Harry thinks and Harry isn’t sure he can keep his feelings for Louis a secret from his own mind.

✰ works like a charm by @falsegoodnight 18k | hogwarts au | b!L

Ever since Louis joined the team in fifth year, a few facts have become set in stone.

One: Louis is the best chaser in Hogwarts.

Two: Harry is the best beater in Hogwarts.

Three: They do not get along.

So it’s really unfair of Liam to think that forcing them to spend time together as Louis recovers from his injury will make them the best of friends. The last thing Louis would do is get along with that git.

✰ kings by dolce_piccante 13k | marcel fic | no smut

Marcel receives an invitation to his ten year high school reunion, which brings up some painful memories of his youth. His lifelong best friend and roommate, Louis, is as supportive and kind as ever, but Marcel still has hesitations. Louis was Prom King. Marcel...was not.

Will Marcel make the reunion a night to remember with his former classmate, Zayn, who is newly wealthy, handsome, and reveals his childhood crush on Marcel? Or will Louis finally realize what everyone else has known all along?

✰ until by @allwaswell16 38k | cowboy harry | b!L

Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star.

✰ tastes like strawberries by @sadaveniren 5k | a/b/o | b!L*

I’m stressed. I’m nesting and demand cuddles. Come over

Harry frowned and double checked who the text was from. Yup, it still said Louis - Grad, which meant it was from Louis from his grad school.

aka Louis texts Harry by mistake. It works out.

re-read this month

✰ until I found you by @comebackassholes / dimpled-halo 45k | a/b/o | b!H

Harry Styles is the popstar of the century, or so the media proclaims. He’s linked to every omega he’s seen with, donned as an alpha lothario who isn’t ready to settle down any time soon. His team works hard to publicise him as an alpha who can’t keep his knot in his pants, but not everything is as it seems.

Louis Tomlinson, an aspiring musician working as a porn star and camboy, is waiting for his big break. When he meets Harry Styles he can’t stand the alpha that only uses his power and fame to bed as many omegas as possible. He runs into him at a party and hopes to never see him again only to find that Harry’s assistant is dating Louis’ best friend. To make matters worse, Harry’s about to embark on a world tour and is in need of a guitarist at the last minute, an opportunity Zayn uses to put in a good word for Louis.

What happens when the opportunity that Louis has been waiting for finally comes, but at the price of having to share the stage with one Harry Styles?

✰ makes perfect by checkthemargins 8k | feminization | b!L

"What if you practiced on like, a mannequin?" Louis presses. "Or one of those blow up sex dolls? Or even just like, I don't know, a pillow or something. Whatever it'd fit around."

Harry tilts his head thoughtfully, curls catching the light so entrancingly that Louis finds himself reaching up to push his fingers through them. "It's different, though, innit? When it's a real person. A pillow won't snog me."

"Why should it?" says Louis. "You can't even take its bra off."

✰ confessions of a fabricated alpha by @jaerie 18k | a/b/o | b!H

Famous alpha Harry Styles has a secret and paying an alpha to roleplay a relationship with him over the phone is the only way he can be himself.

✰ like a siren in the night by @crazyupsetter 24k | a/b/o | b!L

“There is an infestation in my home,” Louis hisses, righting himself quickly and pushing his way past Harry, heading directly for the kitchen. He’s rather haphazardly dressed himself, a coat thrown on over a loose flannel shirt and black pants, slippers on his feet.

Harry resists the urge to sigh, closing the door and trailing behind him slowly. “What kind of infestation?”

For all he knows, Louis is going to claim that there’s a ghost infestation. Harry has no idea what the end game is here – all he knows is that Louis has found at least three complaints a week to bring up since he’s been living on Harry’s property, and he’s been living here for six months.

It’s way too many fucking complaints, is what Harry is saying. Especially when most of them are ridiculous to start with.

fics that have been featured in #ficrecfriday so far

✰ loving you’s a bloodsport (x)

✰ into the midnight sun (x)

✰ bruise you like a peach (x)

✰ push you out, pull you back in (x)

if you guys need any more recs, please be sure to check out @cheershalo ‘s blog for her fic recs! they’re amazing and I can’t wait to see what other lists are coming soon!! :)

happy reading! remember to be kind and keep calm <3

#fic recs #monthly recs #my fic recs

122 notes · View notes

kemvee · 4 years

Text

@elffyness: a response

Edit: Elffyness have since changed their url to @bluhawke. I think it's important this event, and the fact they never apologised for the harm caused, isn't lost. Therefore I have updated accordingly.

This blog is my bedroom wall.

Since I was oh, twelve, on my bedroom wall I have had pictures of mostly fictional men. Dante, Goku, Tidus, The Goblin King played by David Bowie. As I got older it was no longer socially acceptable to have pictures of my current fictional loves on display but then last year a wonderful friend recommended Tumblr and I joined. Here finally I can express my current love of Cullen Rutherford with like minded folk. I am happy.

But @elffyness has made a call out post. I haven't once interacted with this person, I am blocked so this is a little like seeing ‘We are cool, Kemvee drools’ on a school toilet wall but thanks to some apparent mutuals I have been able to see it.

I think a right of response is fair. I have put some thought into this and I speak from the heart and some of you may not like what I have to say.

First let me say that I think it’s careless and honestly a little crass to bundle these two issues in together. The sexualisation of a fictional character is not and never will be on the same billet as institutionalised racism to that end I will address these issues separately.

Sexualization of fictional Characters.

The sexualization of Cullen or indeed any fictional characters is not only the realm of white content creators. And I have to vehemently oppose the insinuation presented by @elffyness that it is. I can't tell you how many times I’ve seen reference to Cullen getting a strap across the blogs of some of the biggest names in the fandom, creators who are POC. You know who they are. I won’t ‘call them out’ because I don’t find it problematic. And if I did I would drop them a message.

The Smut Coven *le gasp* is 4 people. We support each other's creative endeavors and help each other through real life hardships. It is not ‘a place where we sexualize Dragon Age Characters’ smh. The one story we have written was a reader pov and little bit of escapism during, you know the world burning around us and the misery of Lockdown. And I would like to highlight that we kept ‘readers’ characteristics neutral. It is an inclusive story just as accessible to POC as white women.

As for my own content. Do I sexualize Cullen? You are damn right I do.

That man is my current hyperfixation and I love him to little squishy bits. But sexualizing a character rarely means we, his fans, gloss over his past. Except in certain fluffy AUs where it’s just not relevant, nor is it mutually exclusive to more wholesome forms of love.

I have drawn Cullen’s butt, I am also trying to illustrate my latest story’s more ‘spicy’ scenes as a stretch goal for my art journey... I have also drawn him playing a guitar, sewing a shirt and on a nintendo switch. I always put my nsfw content below cuts and my blog is 18+. If you don’t like seeing Cullen’s butt you literally don’t have to see it.

For my own long fics NOT ONCE have I ever glossed over Cullen's trauma. It’s always is a recurring theme that spans the entirety of the story. But you don't know that because you’ve never read my works have you? I can go into more detail about how and why I discuss this in each of my stories but I won’t now.

Speaking from personal experience people need to STOP assuming every response to trauma is to regress into a virginal like state. To think otherwise is naive, inaccurate and also does a disservice to victims of sexual assault. To those of you who do believe this antiquated response is accurate, I suggest you do better to educate yourselves, it is not for the victims to educate you.

Please stop perpetuating the idea that we can’t enjoy a sexually active Cullen. You are trying to police peoples thoughts and it is not a good look.

Racism in the fandom

Do better.

I have seen this time and time again and I agree wholeheartedly. We all need to do better especially when we see racist language, marginalization or white washing. I myself blocked several such artists and take care to re-read posts to ensure I’m not causing offence with my carelessness.

In school in the UK we are made to reflect on slavery and have discussions about institutional racism when we get to sixth form. It’s not enough but we are trying to do better.

For this reason long before I saw this message splayed across Tumblr I have taken the time to correct family members if they have fallen short. You should have heard the talking to I gave my dad when I told him I was dating an Indian man and he let his prejudice show. Two months ago I made my own mother cry when i came down a little too hard on her when she repeated some nonsense about BAME and the Coronovirus.

I am aware of and consider myself the beneficiary of white privilege. I still worry about it. I worry that my mixed-race (not white presenting) children will have to endure hardships I didn't have to face. That our foreign sounding surname will make it difficult for them to have the same opportunities as me. When my husband talks about the racism he experienced as a child and I fear for their physical safety.

And so I strive to do better in my life, so I know the world my children will grow up in will be better. And I am proud as a mother hen to those of you who have taken up the baton to fight against racism in the Dragon Age fandom.

But of course you don’t know about this. Because I like to keep my private life and thoughts private. Because this isn’t a ‘personal’ blog or my new Facebook. Because I haven't reblogged post after post about this issue. Because I can say with a complete certainty that I am an ally, just not a performative one.

This is my bedroom wall.

If you disagree with me then my asks, including anons are on. I’ll reply to polite questions because I try to live my life kindly. But honestly look at my blog. It’s 99.99% Cullen and if this is going to be problematic for you then it is probably better if you just block me and move on.

Please keep safe during the pandemic. Please keep fighting for equality however you can and if you can’t that’s okay too, you probably have enough going on. I’m not here to judge or throw stones.

Love to you all.

Yes even @elffyness x

#Kemvee speaks #tw:blm #tw:racism #tw: sexualization #This will be my last post on this subject #Back to enshrining Cullen now #Please feel free to reblog #But no hate against anyone please #We will do better #And hope they will in turn #Elffyness #elffyness #the mess 2020 #The mess #Ellfymess #Bluhawke #the mess

68 notes · View notes

mrsgreenworld · 3 years

Text

Son Yaz Season 2, Episode 22

"Adaletin Bu Mu Dünya" ("Is This the World of Justice?") aka Barren Land

So a new season came in like a wrecking ball. I've missed watching something that gets this level of emotional response from me. That's the beauty of this show - it played on my emotional strings from the very start. It is a different type of show now, however. In season 1 Son Yaz was pretty much a show about family, with all the mafia stuff being just a background noise. It may have seemed that it was Akgün's story and his found family. And in a way it was. But it was never just Akgün's story. It's the story of the Kara family as much as it was Akgün's. This estranged family comes together when this hurt and abandoned kid lands in their lives. The gift of family and love was something that Akgün not only got but also gave in return. That's why in season 1 intro we saw the blurry image of the Kara family, all four of them, and Akgün who was standing a bit to the side, like an outsider. And he was, at the beginning. Throughout the season we saw him close this distance, both literally and figuratively.

If we look at season 2 intro, it is something else entirely. The intro music theme is still the same but it's a reworked version, it sounds lower and more intense. The blurry image of this new intro is of Selim and Akgün, just the two of them, standing next to each other, at the dusk of the day. And I feel that's what this season is going to be about - the story of these two men and either their redemption or their further downfall.

But there is another pillar the story lies upon - Yağmur. These three are going to be the focus of this review. Let's get down to it.

Yağmur

I've decided to discuss Yağmur first because she's the first one we see three years later. I also believe that she's the one who had the strongest connection with Canan. Sure Canan was loved just as much by Altay, she was and always will be the love of Selim's life. But there's usually one person among our loved ones who we share a very special connection with. And I believe that for Canan that person was Yağmur and vice versa. That's why Yağmur is the one keeping Canan's memory alive. She dresses similarly, she keeps the key to the restaurant (that's named after Canan) under a flower pot which looks remarkably similar to the one in Çeşme. I even suspect it's the same pot. Yağmur has flowers in the restaurant that she takes care of first thing in the morning. In season 1 there were scenes of Canan watering the flowers.

It might look as if Yağmur has everything under control. She seems put together, almost like her old self. But it is the calm before the storm. It only lasts as long as she doesn't stop. Yağmur said it herself: if she stops, she'll start thinking about what happened, she'll have to face it and just the possibility is making her lose her mind. But this madness won't just go away, it's brewing just beneath the surface and it showed its face in the scene where Yağmur finally saw Akgün. She was absolutely unhinged. It's like after having been in denial for three years she was catapulted into anger within the first seconds of seeing him. That's the sort of maddening rage that stems from denying yourself a chance to grieve and truly experience loss. Yağmur's drawn-out denial is going to take its toll. She's clearly suffering from PTSD and from a glimpse of her in episode 23 fragman it's clear that it's starting to affect her physically.

I don't know what the writers have in store for Yağmur but right now it seems to me that she will have to go through all of the stages of grief and in the end find acceptance and peace.

Selim

And next we see Selim who lives alone in a secluded house in Rize. He walked away from his children and his old life. He left behind his vocation. He's no longer a prosecutor. I find it interesting that Selim repeated it several times throughout the episode: "I'm not a prosecutor". We saw in season 1 how much Selim's job meant to him, how something that he had initially pursued just to be closer to Canan had become his calling and a part of him. And now with Canan gone it's like that part of Selim is gone too. Or maybe he just killed that part of himself when he took his revenge on Halil Sadi. And the way it happened is the reason why Selim decided to stay away from his children. It was gruesome and savage and Selim understood clearly how that would taint a person. That's why he tried to convince Akgün to leave him alone to take care of it and that's exactly why he kept his distance from Yağmur and Altay so as not to taint them with his darkness. Selim owns his darkness and his sins. Selim Kara is not a good man. And he knows it. Now that I think about it, he was never a good person. Back in season 1 we saw what a shitty husband and father he was. Yes, they tried to redeem him and give him a second chance. He took this chance and, I think, he really tried to be the kind of a man who deserved his family. But the bitter truth is that he never deserved Canan or his children. And I think that Selim is painfully aware of this. That's why I'm not angry with him for leaving Yağmur and Altay. I don't love or even like him but I understand him. I'm also not angry that he involved Akgün into that nightmare. Selim gave Akgün an out, in the end it was Akgün's choice to stay. I'm definitely not gonna blame Selim for the choices Akgün made.

I've already mentioned that this season can turn into either a redemption story or even further downfall for both Selim and Akgün. But I feel that no matter which way Selim chooses to go - up or down - we won't see a happy ending waiting for him. It's clear now what's waiting for him. I believe that if we don't see Selim pulling that trigger again, it will be someone else's bullet that sends him to Canan.

Akgün

Or my sweet, sweet boy... He is a boy no more 😢

Killing his own brother, going to prison, giving up the love of his life, living on the run for three years - all of that took its toll and changed Akgün irrevocably. But most of all it was that horrid night and the choice he made that turned his hopeful and blossoming future into a barren land.

He's always been hot-headed, doing-first-thinking-never. Always ready to sacrifice himself for the ones he loves. And the way he loves is fierce and maybe even a bit suffocating. And all of that hasn't changed. But now Akgün seems torn between being resigned and suicidal. He's resigned when it comes to Yağmur and the future he wanted to have with her. He's suicidal when it comes to saving his father and helping Selim.

I know that it's been pointed out in the show a number of times that Selim and Akgün are very much alike. And it may seem that what they did to Halil Sadi brought them closer together and made them even more similar. While that night definitely tied them together in a very special way that only the two of them will ever be able to comprehend, I also saw how in fact different Selim and Akgün are. And the ultimate difference lies here: Akgün is a good person. I just hope that he'll get a chance to become a good husband and a good father. The kind of a husband and father Selim never was and I don't think could ever be.

A few honourable mentions

🖤 Eray is the sweetest, most precious cupcake on this planet and he makes my heart burst with love and gratitude. He was so loving and affectionate with Akgün. From the way he hugged him and he called him "Canım benim" to the way he sent Akgün updates on Yağmur and how he comforted Akgün after the disastrous reunion.

🖤 I already said while I was live blogging that I really like the siblings role reversal they've got going on. Give me all the bitter moody teenage Altay who also has a picture of himself and Akgün from Canan and Selim's wedding.

🖤 Soner and Naz are cute and all but they're also incredibly dumb. Especially Soner who comes from a mafia family and has to marry a girl from another mafia clan. Her father is a mafia boss who's giving away his only daughter. And to make things even worse Soner had to drop the ILY at the dinner. For fucks sake... Where's your only brain cell? On the run with Akgün?🤦

And... That's pretty much it. I have to stop before it gets completely out of hand. Until next episode. I'm sure we're in for a wild ride.

2 notes · View notes

fencesandfrogs · 3 years

Text

cloudtail’s daughter: jayfeather

alright, strap in, it's time for jayfeather. i've been holding it in on him for what feels like forever now; he's ya boy's favorite character

also, aside from dove and ivy, he's the character with the highest volume of changes to canon. even above cloudtail and brightheart, because they continue their lives, it's not a big deal. and lion and cinder go to the tribe, but like, that's it. (i'm figuring out if jay goes with them over the course of this essay. i think i said he did in holly? but he literally hasn't been mentioned once in that arc because there's a lot going on.) anyway lion and cinder don't get up to anything. but jay's priorities shift and we see that in his books. i'm really excited to write him but i need to finish arc 1 lmao.

but first, same deal as always. this is part of my cloudtail's daughter au, where dovekit and ivykit are born to cloudtail and brightheart. i don't know how well this will read preemptively, but i suspect it will be rather dependent on the others. cloudtail's daughter: dovewing and/or the long post that explains it are both good places to start, see the cloudtail's daughter tag on my blog.

[2.5k words, 14 minute read, one of the last warriors essays on this blog. i'm going to finish out with my character essays and then everything will be on new sideblog. so check out @mallowstep for more.]

section one: the leafpool business

at the beginning of this series, leafpool and jayfeather are on bad terms. they will stay on bad terms for basically the entirity of the book series. while one of my main complaints with po3/oots is the lack of acknowledgement of adoption, jayfeather has been lied to by his mother and his mentor, something neither hollyleaf or lionblaze have to contend with, and then his sister kills herself over it. obviously she doesn't, but from his perspective. so he blames leafpool because he was really close to hollyleaf and now she's gone, and it's his first real loss, and there's so much going on.

and so he's a grouch and he's unhappy and he's just trying to function when his whole support system has been dismantled over the course of what, like, a quarter moon? yeah so dovekit and ivykit are like "wow what a grouch he sucks" the same way they don't realize prey is dying of thirst & etc.

for the most part he's j chilling and then hollyleaf comes back and man is it some family drama. unfortunately it's postponed til book 4 because hollyleaf and jayfeather have journeys but anyway i'm getting ahead of myself, because this section should end and unlike the hollyleaf essay i want to actually have decent organization.

section two: hollyleaf is away (but jayfeather doesn't get to play)

holly, cinder, and dove go to deal with beavers. we only get jayfeather through lionblaze in the books, but jayfeather is...conflicted. he got his sister back and lost her again and oh i should say. i think jayfeather and hollyleaf are the closer pair of the siblings. not that they don't love lionblaze the same, but you know how cats pair bond? like, it's usually a trauma thing, but even in feral cats, you see very close friendships. anyway yeah so for other au's i've been sorting siblings n denmates into pairs for this purpose (mostly jaywing au because there's a lot re. dovepaw and jaypaw and remember they are reincarnated siblings they've got a close bond going.) and it's kind of...i don't know my point is jayfeather misses his sister because she's like, his best friend too. or she was. and then she died and now she's back and she left again, and lionblaze is more concerned about cinderheart, so jayfeather just comes off as grouchy all the time. but really he's lonely and sad.

so yeah, jayfeather is kind of moping around camp and then the tree falls and whoops now briarpaw/light is parapalegic.

and uhh this goes more or less as in canon but we don't get pov which is fine bc u can sub in canon. but jayfeather? he's still a sad boy but now he's a sad boy with purpose and that makes all the difference

yeah he's close with her. they're sweet. it's sweet. he's pressured by brambleclaw to take an apprentice. he's bristly and angry and "you're not my real father" you know?

beaver crew gets back. jayfeather, who had missed holly, is back to being angry for...angst and plot purpose, really.

but you know, when you love & miss someone and they leave and they come back and somehow that's worse because now they can leave you again? and you can't tell them you want them to stay because you're angry and hurt but you want them to stay? god i'm excited to write these chapters i love emotional turmoil.

he's protective of briarlight, he's trying to keep dovepaw from being a medicine cat, hollyleaf is apologizing but he's not ready to hear it and lionblaze and hollyleaf are beginning to reconnect and it feels like betrayal. so when cinderheart and lionblaze go to the tribe, he tags along. everyone, uh, strongly encourages he go. he is the big grouch.

section three: time travelling times

okay so the timeline for these books is...messy. if you track the chronology of my writing, it's messy. which is to say, i was thinking i could put forgotten warrior and distant whispers over the same time span, but that actually doesn't work, as i review my notes for FW because a big part of it is ivy and holly's relationship. so. fake news. whoops. that sucks.

or maybe it doesn't? idk i don't usually tell linear stories. i like messing with emotional impact of events. so writing 600k of very linear story telling is very not easy for me. but i'm trying.

right so basically the official order of events until i change my mind again is as follows (names abbreviated as DIHLJC because they're all unique): DCH returns from beavers, DILCJ go to tribe with some other random warrior undecided, J + rando return, JH start awkwardness (beginning of TFW, middle of DW), DILC return (end of DW), time travel stuff (middle to end of TFW). hopefully that was intelligble, but it is admittedly 85% for my own benefit.

alright so we've covered during beavers, now jayfeather and hmmmm let's say, uhhhh, let's say they go with, literally any interesting background character, uh, bumblestripe! he doesn't do anything in this au bumblestripe goes with them. also since his name starts w b i can still write DIHLJCB and have things be unambigious. and it means there are fewer bs in thunderclan and trust me you don't know how frustrating the existence of like 6 b characters is.

alright so we really have 3 sets of two pairs of cats here. maybe i won't go w bumblestripe, bc he doesn't have an existing relationship w jayfeather. i dunno. i'm a big fan of jay & briar, whether as a ship or just besties, but that's just out, and hollyleaf can't come a) because i said so and b) honestly maybe she can? actually wait hold on that solves my problems. hot damn so 6/6 of the pov cats go to the tribe and this will be one of the only times all six characters are plot relevant at the same time. but i'm going george r r martin on it and seperating the books not by time but into DICL + JH because they're two completely separate character arcs that happen to take place at the same time. (don't worry i'm going to resolve the fallen leaves thing. in this essay ig bc i've already covered hollyleaf.)

okay so yeah hollyleaf is sent bc jayfeather isn't planning on staying w tribe for long time. just short time. and he's all "firestar why"

"well jayfeather," firestar says, "you don't talk to your family."

"i talk to dovewing," jayfeather says

"you're not related to her," firestar says

"there's a whole prophecy about how i'm related to her," jayfeather says

"you know about that?" firestar says

and that's how the cat gets out of the bag.

so anyway. jayfeather and hollyleaf are sent because...hold on, spinning the wheel of reasons for a character to go on a field trip...because...because...because...because...jayfeather had one of those dreams. i don't know. rock or something. now he's going.

they get there, and this is where the books get a lil time wonky, bc jayfeather and hollyleaf stay for like a moon, during which jayfeather goes back in time. i think.

i haven't worked out the details and probably won't until i do an updated au synopsis because it's hard to keep track and i'm more concerned about character through lines. like, jayfeather does this and he feels sad, and hollyleaf is sad about her ghost boyfriend, and they're travelling back together, and hollyleaf is his sister and she doesn't make him feel like he needs protection and lionblaze is bad at that, and they start to talk again.

and yeah, they bond. again. it's kind of, on top of their old bond? like they don't repair anything, they bond like strangers. but it's not nothing, and that matters.

so jayfeather gets back, and we're moving into book five, and i don't remember when the last time i made a section break was or what number we're on, so...sorry.

section ???: old man yells at cloud

alright it's finally jayfeather's moment. you know, he's one of my favorite characters, and he only gets a book and a half. "but mateo," i hear you saying, "doesn't every character get a book and a half? and more importantly, 6x1.5 is 9, so how does every character get a book and a half?" well, yes, every character does, but dovewing and ivypool are relevant in books 1-3 and 6, cinderheart in 1-3 and 5, lionblaze in 1-3, and hollyleaf in 2-5 (and has a critical role in 1 and 6, just no character development), while jayfeather is just really essential to books 4-5, and has a background role in 3. that means he's about equal to lionblaze. he's equal to lionblaze. as far as the numbers go, i cannot tell you. it's a mystery.

right so the reason for this is because (a) jayfeather doesn't do that much in oots. i love him, but he's not, like, super important, and (b) he's going to work better in these books if he's concentrated. because his big theme is his relationship with hollyleaf and the past. they're both kind of stuck in it but in different ways. and that prevents them from ever properly healing. so jay never has a full arc in this. i mean he has a full arc, it's just not a satisfying one. and that means he's sort of got to be put in the containment units.

so anyway, he gets his real big moments in the fifth book, when he's reuniting starclan. i think this is one of the riskier decisions on my part: we'll see whether or not i can deliver on him the way i plan to. but i think i can pull it off so that his arc is more meaningful condensed as such.

right. so. jayfeather is decided. he is going to fix starclan. because dead cats need to get thier shit together and he dgaf.

he spends a decent amount of time arguing with yellowfang and bluestar, because basically no important cats have died. at least we're in omen of the stars so it still makes sense? i have no idea why yellow/blue are still so important. please kill more important cats. it makes us feel things.

but feathertail is also probably going to be involved, i don't know. i haven't read these books (specifically, books 4 and 5 of oots) in forever so i don't really remember what happens. but he's kind of, super done with everything. i think he'll probably try to get the support of mothwing and kestrelflight (which is canon i believe?) and try to work as a team. i feel like there's weirdness w shadowclan too i should sort out.

so yeah, there's some medicine cat bonding, everything is OK, sol is happening? but cinderheart is dealing with that. jayfeather is naturally very upset about disconnects with sol but like he's also dealing with stuff i...i really need to reread outcast and sign of the moon. well, they're on my list after "all of these fucking riverclan novels like why they don't show up in the main series but i still have to read a bunch to be able to write them that's not fair."

alright, well, with that very vague description of what happens, moving on, the prophecy gets revealed to the clans at a whole in like...the ending eighth of this book. trying to maximise the amount of exposure to other clans without messing with the pacing.

so jayfeather and undecided warrior B (definitively not hollyleaf) go to windclan. jayfeather is...very unhappy about this. he does not want to leave. thunderclan is his home, and he's blind, and it's really hard to adapt to a new space and he thinks everyone is going to treeat him badly.

and well, if you've read my culture posts, windclan is....very pro-medicine cats and pro-prophecy cats. funerals. mourning. prayer. is probably the best place to start, but to get to the meat of it, start with general clan culture. to summarize, windclan: religious. but kind of like catholics, they don't believe in an individual connection with starclan. only leaders, and medicine cats, and very rarely members of prophecies have a connection. so. jayfeather. he's twice over. that's very cool to windclan.

so cats are kind of falling over themselves to help him, and like. i mean jayfeather is a grouch and he hates that he needs someone to help him through the territory, but at least they don't treat it like a chore, or like he's pitiable. this is a desirable task. apprentices want to know about his powers. and kestrelflight is a respected part of the clan, arguably more important than onestar, and jayfeather has never really gotten over being shoved in the healer hole as a child like it was lesser or easier to be a medicine cat, and so it's a big change.

and yeah. so i mean. an unobservant reader might say jayfeather has sufficient ego. he does not need stroking. they, of course, would be wrong.

jayfeather has a complex, but it's not an ego issue. he's...he's been denied everything he's wanted, and he's jaded, and weary, and he's never really believed that his clan views him as able and equal. in canon, at present, he's lost almost every cat he's every cared about. alderheart is his strongest remaining tie, and his fear at losing him, but willingness to let him leave, is very telling.

so yeah, jayfeather enjoys being accepted. anyone would. he doesn't really have confidence issues, but....argh. i know why this is good i swear it'll come out in the writing.

anyway, that's...that's pretty much it. jayfeather? done.

#warrior cats #warriors au #warriors #hollyleaf #jayfeather #q #mine #txt #13th #March #2021 #March 13th 2021 #cloudtail's daughter #essay #long

11 notes · View notes

brightbeautifulthings · 4 years

Text

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

"'What if sometimes there is no choice about what to love? What if the temple comes to Mohammed? What if you just love? without deciding? You just do: you see her and in that instant are lost to sober account-keeping and cannot choose but to love?'"

Year Read: 2014, 2020

Rating: 5/5

Context: It's hard to know where to begin writing a review for this book. I read it for the first time in graduate school in about five weeks (alongside everything else I had to do in grad school, so I don't recommend that), and it basically blew my mind. At the same time, it's hard to imagine tackling it any other way for the first time. Despite its difficulty, there are things obsessive and immersive and, appropriately, even addictive about it. Full immersion might be the only way to read it for the first time, and I obsessed about it for months afterward. Since I'm not on any deadlines, I took it more slowly this time (21 weeks) so I could enjoy the writing and the nuances without the pressure to finish. For my less coherent weekly updates in real time, see my blog posts. Trigger warnings: Everything, everything. Death (on-page), child death, animal death, suicide, suicidal ideation, rape, pedophilia, possible incest, child abuse/abusive households, graphic violence/gore, eye horror, severe injury, drug use, addiction, alcoholism, mental illness, depression, OCD, grief, racism, ableism, transphobia, sexism, inexplicable hostility toward Canadians.

About: If it's difficult to know how to write a review, it's equally hard to describe what Infinite Jest is about. It's about so many things, tennis, addiction, communication (failures), and entertainment among them, but I'll do my best. Beneath all the numerous characters, timelines, and subplots, the main plot is about a film so entertaining that it kills anyone who watches it, robs them of all desire to do anything but watch it until they die, and what a faction of Canadian assassins will do to possess it. The auteur is James Incandenza, a suicide whose son, Hal, is a prodigy at Enfield Tennis Academy. Next door to E.T.A. is Ennet House, a drug rehabilitation center where Don Gately, former thief and Demerol addict, is taking it day by day to stay sober. Though they don't know it, Hal and Gately are connected, and the deadly Entertainment and those who seek it draw their paths closer and closer together.

Thoughts: It's rare to find a book that is actually as smart as it claims to be, but IJ is--certainly much smarter than I am, despite all my attempts to make sense of it. It starts off strong and doesn't let up for several hundred pages, which is a huge achievement all by itself. Wallace excels at writing extremely polished sections that could almost function alone as short stories, and the first chapter is one of my favorites in all fiction. It's reassuring, I think, to start the book off on a strong note, in case we worried we were in for a thousand pages of tedious slog. It can be both, but it's often heartfelt, insightful, and funny as well, and the payoff is well worth the effort. I don’t know how Wallace manages to pack every page with so much meaning. Anybody can put tedious lists in their books or make reading purposely difficult (and I have attitude about writers who do this for no reason), but there’s nothing haphazard about this book, despite its size and varied focus. Everything seems utterly intentional. The conversations are really top-tier; Wallace has a great ear for how people talk, and it's a fascinating look at how communication works and doesn't work.

Thematically, I think the book succeeds on more than any other level, including plot or structure. If we could say this book is "about" anything, we would almost certainly start with the themes and not the plot, which is often secondary to whatever point Wallace is trying to make at the moment. It takes an in-depth looks at things like addiction, depression, loneliness, failed communication, sincerity v. irony, critiques of postmodernism and metafiction (while being very meta itself, at times), and the very specific selfishness of an American culture that insists on freedom even to the point of self-destruction. At times, it feels a little heavy-handed or like it was yanked right out of an intro to philosophy course, but I suppose something in a thousand pages has to be obvious if we're ever going to pick up on it. A lot of these themes resurface in his other work, from "This is Water" and "E Unibus Pluram" to Orin Incandenza's Brief Interview style Q and A (and he would be a perfectly fitting character in that book).

The characters are some of my favorites in literary fiction as well, particularly the Incandenza family and Don Gately, and to a lesser extent Joelle Van Dyne (although Wallace typically doesn’t write female characters very well, and she comes with some issues). Hal and Gately couldn't be more different; Hal excels at everything he's ever done, and Gately has a record that includes accidental homicide on it. Hal is the hero of non-action, since little that happens in the book is engineered by him, while Gately is closer to the more typical hero of action, who defends the undeserving at great cost to himself. Yet their struggles with addiction are similar, and they both manage to be incredibly sympathetic characters. In my opinion, the book is always at its best when we’re with Hal or Gately, but I’m strongly driven by good characters. Despite being dead, James Incandenza's presence is also felt all over the book, from the Entertainment he created to his haunting ETA and sticking beds to the ceiling (probably the weirdest ghost I've ever seen in fiction). He's a tragic character in a book full of tragic characters. The others are too numerous to name, from the other tennis players at ETA and recovering addicts at Enfield, to the various bystanders populating Boston. We get brief glimpses into almost all of them, and while they may not all feel relevant at the time, most are memorable or heart-wrenching or slapstick funny, or all three. It's a book that contains multitudes.

That's not to say it's always on point though, and it isn't. There are a number of very serious problems with representation in this novel, and they're as bad as its detractors claim. A lot of the 90s humor aged very poorly, but that's not an excuse for some of the unabashedly racist depictions of African Americans, the uncharitable descriptions of Steeply's and Poor Tony's cross-dressing, or--however much I love him as a character--the fact that Mario Incandenza’s descriptions are ableist in just about every possible way. Wallace thinks he's capturing "voice" when he's really encouraging harmful stereotypes. The humor of the novel often doesn’t depend at all on these stereotypes and would in fact, be a lot more funny if I wasn’t spending so much energy cringing at it. So many of the little racist and ableist asides could have easily been edited out of the entire novel to make it less offensive. There are also sections where he seems at pains to be as gross as possible for its own sake. There are plenty of things grim or uncomfortable or flat out distasteful about this book, but sometimes the graphic violence kind of jumps out and stabs you in the eye, say, with a railroad spike.

If there are times when I was totally absorbed in the little tragedies of the Incandenza family or Gately's struggles, there are plenty more where it's like pushing something heavy up a hill. No lie, some of it is slogging through tedious minutiae and various experimental writing styles (some more successful and less offensive than others). Wallace has a gift for purposeful tedium; it’s at its peak in The Pale King, but he gives it a nice warm-up round here. The novel is difficult and meant to be, since Wallace maintained that some of the best pleasures are the ones we have to work for, and he's not totally off base. There's something very satisfying about living, for a time, in a book that spans a thousand pages, that demands focus and perseverance, and manages to give back (almost) as much as it takes. The book is always structurally interesting, but it starts to get more complicated toward the end as various characters and plots begin to almost slide into one another. I forgot how frustrating it was to near the end and realize--again--that it wasn't going to wrap up with any kind of satisfaction; the various plots slide, but they don’t meet. I thought if I paid closer attention on a second read that I would pick up more of the plot things I’d missed on my first, but I think the problem is that those answers simply aren’t to be found in the actual text. Of course, they can point us toward various conclusions, and the novel certainly encourages us to speculate and make connections, but I don’t think the actual answers are there.

That brings me to some of my final thoughts, for now. There's no doubt that this is a hugely successful book, and I believe it accomplished exactly what Wallace meant it to do. He jokingly referred to it as a failed entertainment, much the way Jim considered his lethal Entertainment a failure, but I have the sense that Wallace, unlike Jim, failed on purpose. The book purposely pays more attention to structure and theme than it does to plot or character, yet the plot and characters are hugely compelling for what we see of them. Imagine the book it could have been if he had paid equal attention to all of them. Wallace attempted to create a book that people wouldn't want to stop reading. Reaching the end certainly encourages us to begin again, as the first chapter is actually the last in chronology, but that trick only works the first time. By my second read, I realized that starting over wouldn't help me fill in any of those blanks or answer any of my questions, and I was content to let it go. On the one hand, IJ depends upon its structure to tell the story it's telling. On the other, think of the book it could have been if it spent more time telling a story and developing its characters and less time belaboring a point. It's one of the best books I've ever read, and the tragedy is that I think it could have been even better.

#book review #infinite jest #david foster wallace #literary fiction #adult fiction #5/5 #rating: 5/5 #2020 #bookoween

32 notes · View notes