#i will never shut the fuck up about this scene
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The only thing I'm going to say about this (<- probably lying) is that it doesn't matter how Buck felt in that scene. Because Buck isn't real and doesn't actually have feelings. What DOES matter is how it comes across to the audience. And if the vast majority of the audience had an "what the fuck is this and why is it happening like this?" reaction and that was NOT the intention of the scene? Then it wasn't done well.
You should not have to come out after the episode and explain what the scene was supposed to do. If you have to, then you have failed in your job to get across to the writers, directors, and actors what the point and purpose is. And maybe you have failed to take into account what the characters are like, their trauma histories, and how the audience might react given their knowledge of the characters involved.
A lot of people never forgave tay kay for what she did to Bobby in s2, and then having Buck Begins give us this raw, vulnerable version of Buck and his childhood only to have her lash out a couple of eps later calling him "needy" and a bad friend because he asked something of her instead of just being there to give her whatever she wanted? It's no surprise fans and the general audience never got on board with that relationship. Because it wasn't good to BUCK and that's what the audience wants.
I am personally continually BAFFLED that this show gives these moments of gentle teasing and support and validation of Buck's feelings (even when he can overreact a little out of trauma response) to Eddie, and then continually put Buck in romantic relationships with people that don't even seem to LIKE him, much less adore all his quirks and the things that make him BUCK, and most importantly, the things the AUDIENCE loves about him.
It's.....it's almost like Tim isn't even trying. Because the audience isn't SUPPOSED to like these relationships for Buck. Because they aren't the right ones for him. Because we all know who is.
But also, at some point it starts getting questionable as to why the people that love him don't speak up to express concern about him staying in long term relationships with people that are not nice to him. We all know the bait-and-switch of tay kay in s4 being a FOX network call to shut down what Tim wanted to do, and then he left the show with someone who doesn't like, see, or care about Buddie (or really any of the main characters that aren't Angela to live out some revenge fantasy or Buck to live out...other fantasies). So they couldn't very well have all of the firefam desperately asking Buck if he was even happy as he wasted away in that loft all season, or even allow them to be kinda pissed he would choose to be with someone like that who nearly got Bobby killed by not telling someone immediately and interviewing him without consent, but it never sat right with me that it was all just never addressed and they had them breakup on good terms (sorry not sorry but if you think T*mmy isn't nice to Buck, tay kay was worse in every way and thats canon fact).
So I don't have super high hopes that they will address this clear and obvious disconnect with Buck and T*mmy, but considering they made a point to have nearly all their screentime revolve around Eddie, and them not meshing as a couple it would be weird NOT to. Then again, *gestures to all that rambling above*
ANYWAY
The point it, at SOME point the audience does have to be a consideration because without an audience you do not have a show. So Tim needs to shake off the last of the Lone Star cobwebs, get KR the fuck out of the writers room, and make sure his intentions for scenes are ACTUALLY what make it onto the screen, and that what is on screen is stuff that will resonate positively with the audience. Maybe he should rewatch the first 3 seasons of the show himself to get back into the groove.
#911#evan buckley#anti bucktommy#anti taylor kelly#i have not had my coffee yet ignore me#i just had to get it out so my brain would shut up about it
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Lost cause? 4.1: Would she hate me for this?
Previous chapter
Authors note: This scene is from Jungkook's pov from the last few paragraphs of chapter 4. I wanted to keep the thoughts he had while this scene happened in a separate chapter, so enjoy, ily🩷
Note: The part that's marked in blue is still in Y/N's pov and is also underlined in blue in chapter four if you wanna trace back the starting of this chapter in the previous one.
Words: 2.6k words approx
Any kind of warnings? Yes, maybe: a heartbreaking kiss and both of them being bad at communication. Jungkook's inner thoughts. Angst. Infidelity mentions. Therapy mentions psychological thoughts regarding guilt and love and hurt and comfort, and love.
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"How did I know? How about, why didn't I know?" You raise your voice slightly, and he shuts the door so that your parents don't get their sleep interrupted, tilting slightly towards the entrance, your bed not being that far from the door.
She asked me why I didn't tell her? What could I even tell her? That I didn't wanna make my already cheated-on wife who's carrying our baby with a broken heart that was caused by me. The wife who thinks too much for her own good. Tell her that I rejected my dream job - our dream job - because I found her and our baby to be more important at the moment? So that she could probably find herself the reason for it, fuck no.
"Y/N I am sorr-" she cuts me off as I apologize again.
"Sorry? How many things are gonna be okay just because you apologize, Jungkook?! It was your dream. You worked so hard for it.." she says as her tears fall and my heart rips apart at how her face reddens due to crying.
She was crying for me? Because of me, again?
How many times more do I have to be responsible for her tears? How much am I gonna hurt her? How much is she gonna cry because of her pathetic husband?
Seeing her cry so much and breathe heavily, I look down at her lap, trying to control my emotions until she yells at me. Her hand slipping up against my skin.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" She exclaims.
It seemed like she didn't realize when her hand shifted from my t-shirt's neckline to my neck. I feel relaxed and very selfishly happy when she doesn't remove her hand even after she sees me reacting to her touch.
Fuck. I wanna carve her touch in my mind, soul, and body. I shut my eyes, taking in the touch, feeling like there was a part of me missing from me, and I just found it.
It had been so long.
"Tell me, kook?" You whisper, so slowly bringing me back to my senses. Did she just rub her thumb against my skin? When I finally registered her voice calling me, I realized what she was asking me, and my heart skipped a beat.
In fear.
She looks at me wishing for an answer and I panic, what if she wanted me to take the job? Would she want me to go away? Would she think it's better if she stays away from me? If I stay away from her?
I answer in a very short statement with a sigh, trying to calm my breathing, "Baby, they wanted me to go away." I say, the petname falling out of my mouth so smoothly.
They wanted me to go away from her and our daughter. I would never do that. Nobody can make me.
"Dont lie to me, Jungkook, please. Yoongi told me they were ready to fix the schedule according to you -"
Damn it-
Yoongi hyung was definitely gonna hear an earful from me for this. Why did he have to tell her this? Couldn't he have waited until I gained some kind of courage to tell her myself? Couldn't he just wait for some time before telling her how I fucked things up for us in a new way? I was finally, finally getting somewhere.
Before she completes her sentence, I tell her the truth, although I feel bad for cutting her sentence midway.
"And you think they were gonna do that for me forever?"
The funniest part was when they offered me the job and then expected me to go away to tokyo for 8 months after my daughter was a newborn alongside my wife, who would be a newborn mother.
It was funny to me because it seemed like a joke to me. A bad one at that. Who the fuck were they to even think of seperating me from my family. Hadn't it been for Joon hyung, I would've resigned on the spot..
..But she doesn't need to know so many details. I just hope Yoongi hyung didn't tell her about the arguments I had with the president, some of them almost risking my career at his company.
"Why did you say that I agreed, why didnt you come talk to me? Do you think I wouldn't have understood or that you think it's not important for me to know?"
Her question brought me straight back to the room where I argued with the president, almost making me scoff at how ironic the whole situation is.
Ironic, since he asked me a similar question that day, "Is this company nothing to you? You wouldn't even try to work with this?" Namjoon and I sat across the president with the letter in front of me.
The moment I shook my head firmly in refusal and looked at the frustrated boss in front of me, all three of the men in the room knew it was gonna be a long evening. Making me slightly anxious about my wife waiting for me to eat dinner at home while some senior at work makes me feel bad for not accepting his offer.
He told me how I was the best fit and he was one of my well wishers for wanting this for me, I appreciated the opportunity, I really did, I still do but nothing could've made me go away from her. I couldn't have explained things to him in detail, so he obviously couldn't have understood anyhow about the reasons I was so stubbornly refusing because of,
So I didn't. I just refused. Again and again.
Now, coming back to her question.
"Would you have let me quit if I wanted to?" I asked instantly and see her expressions pause. Exactly. I can see the thoughts behind her eyes. She would've wanted me to get my dream job, and I would've wanted to be with our dream.
Us, our family. Happy. Together.
"You see, baby? That's why I didn't tell you. You're already handling so many responsibilities, I didn't wanna worry you more." I didn't wanna make her feel burdened with any more responsibilities or any kind of blame that I know for a fact she would've directed towards herself.
Knowing the kind of over thinker she is, I knew this would've been the better decision for us.
I could work harder in the future for this promotion, maybe get better roles than this one, but right now, I wanted to be a good father and a good husband.
She looks at me. Her eyes looked at me to try and find the truth behind my words, and I know she does. She can read me very well. One of the reasons I have always been honest with her. She has always been open to conversations and let me be open to her always.
It's something she deserves for being so perfect at everything, as minimal as her being a human. She was perfect at everything for me.
I continue, "They were willing to change my schedule for me only until she is born.." I look at her tummy and feel my heart swell with love for our daughter and then the beautiful woman carrying her.
"..I can't risk being away from you again. It might sound like I am lying, but Y/N, baby, I dont wanna be away from you for a single second. I wanna prove myself to be worthy of a second chance. I wanna be worthy of you and her. I can't imagine my life even for a second without you or her. You can push me all you want, you can yell at me all you want but dont tell me that I should've chosen a job and not my family time. I know I dont have an answer for why I did what.." I pause, feeling the knot in my throat.
The night, fresh in my memory.
The way she cried, screaming with so much pain in her heart, the balcony where she told me she was leaving me, the house, the kitchen where she blacked out after crying so much, everything was embedded in my memory like a nightmare I couldnt never forget.
"...I did, I myself don't know why I did it and trust me if I could turn back the time I would. But baby..." I really wish I could go back in time and stop myself from committing the sin that would hurt my wife in a way we never dreamed of. I could never have dreamed of.
I put my hand on hers that rested on my cheek, waiting to see her reaction to my touch. When she doesn't react negatively or in any way that should make me take my hand back, I continue,
"...I love you, and I will love you for my whole life, I will love you and my family until I breathe. I am so sorry for fucking things up but I want to fix them, I can fix them, we will fix it. Just dont please.." I say it, I say it again and I will repeat it as long as I can to make sure she knows I love her. Squeezing my eyes shut I gather the courage to make a request I shouldnt be making, I dont have the right to ask her this but I think I wont be able to breathe if I dont.
I need to know what she wants.
"...dont ask me to go away from you. I can't live away from you. I would quit my job if that's what it takes to be with my family, to take care of my family, to take care of you, and to take care of us. Please tell me I can be with you, can you please tell me you dont want me to go away? Pleas-"
But before I could finish my request and beg her not to go away from me, she pulled me towards her with her hands on my neck. I expected a hug when she pulled me, a hug that would comfort her stress and maybe help my heart get some comfort as well. But what happened made my knees buckle and heart pause.
She tells me her answer.
She does, but the way she expresses it makes my heart beat in reverse. I almost forgot how her lips felt like against me, the soft pillows against my slightly chapped ones. It was a feeling I was addicted to, and these months of staying away from her made me lose my sanity sometimes.
I think she would move back, maybe thinking of this as a mistake and also maybe a decision that was made impulsively or maybe out of muscle memory. But she doesn't, she doesn't move, in fact she moves her lips against me slightly tilting her head making my breath hitche.
I can't help but shut my eyes at the feeling of her lips moving against me. I feel myself giving into the kiss, but then it hits me. Hits me like someone poured water on my face.
This was wrong. I can't kiss her. What if she regrets this in the morning? What if she thinks I took advantage of her being stressed out. I can't kiss her without thinking this through or without talking to her about this. I lost the right to rightfully kiss her when..
Oh god.
I think of pulling back, but then she squeezes my t-shirt in such need that I almost whine in her mouth. This feels like torture. I want to move away from her, I don’t want to move away from her at the same time. Moving back from her arms is better, the right thing.
Oh, why does every right thing have to be so difficult to do?
I try making up my mind because one moment of me giving in might cause the downfall of the progress we built. We can talk about this to the therapist after I move back after I back off. But how do I do it? She needs me. Would moving back be okay? What if she loses hope in our relationship? But what if she tells me that she regrets this later? What if she hates me for this?
Fuck this. Two more seconds.
I kiss her back, shutting my eyes for two more seconds, and the thought of breaking the kiss makes me almost sob. I sniffle as my tears burn my eyes when I sense that you realize what I'm about to do.
Oh god, I don't want to do this. I am so sorry, Y/N. I love you but I have to do this for us. I can't do this, I can't kiss you. I can't touch you, not like this, not with a risk of losing you, I can't hurt you anymore. I can't do this. I need to move away. I need to pull myself back. Fuck.
I do it, and I hate myself for it.
I hate myself. I hate myself for the look she gives me after I move back. My eyes are burning wuth tears my cheeks feel wet from our mixed tears. Sniffling, I move back from our space, move back from the bed, move back from the kiss, move back from her, and maybe move back a space from our progress.
I dont know how this would affect us. I could kiss her better tomorrow if she feels like it, I could make it better, but I wouldn't be able to see hatred in her eyes for me. Not again.
Not after so many months of being away from her.
I get up and take a step back, shaking my head out of the dizzyness, eyes squeezed shut. Cursing myself under my breath, I do my best not to look at how frozen she looks.
Oh God, I must've made her feel so embarrassed. Should I sit back down and kiss her again, or should I tell her why I did this?
"I- I am sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't, I can't. I am really sorry, I shouldn't. I just shouldn't. I am sorry." As usual I chose the latter but probably fucking up the situation further more.
I need help.
In order to not make her feel more embarrassed, I leave the room, shutting the door, not completely but leaving it slightly ajar so that I could run to her if she needs me.
I try to busy myself in the kitchen cleaning things up, storing the leftovers in the fridge, cleaning the island and preparing things for the morning so that Y/N's mom could find it easy cooking breakfast in the morning.
I put a glass under the water purifier, filling it with water to keep on Y/Ns nighstand. I wish she is asleep before I go to her room to keep the water but since my luck wants to test me these days, I find her wide eyed along with a red nose looking at me with swollen eyes.
Shit.
"Good night," I whisper to her, trying not to look at her, but eventually, when I do, it feels like someone just punched me in the gut.
I feel so mad at myself, this was getting so much complicated and somehow I have fucked everything more, every single time. I hope we can talk about this in the morning, I just hope I can talk about the kiss without making her cry again or making her feel embaressed again. I hope we can move forward with therapy and make things better between us.
Moreover I just hope, pray and wish I dont fuck things up more for us.
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#lost cause#jungkook fic#jeon jungkook#bts fic#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenarios#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x you#jungkook drabble#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook imagine#jungkook series#jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook x yn#jungkook x you#jungkook angst#bts jeongguk#jungkook#bts one shot#bts angst#bts au#bts drabble#bts fanfiction#bts ff#bts fanfic#bts fic rec#bts fic recs#bts#jungkook lost cause
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Over this - Toxic!Amber Freeman x Reader
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Word Count: 6151
Prompt: Y/n receives a text from an unknown number. Only to find out it's her ex. She can't help but think about all the toxic stuff Amber did to her.
Warnings: Toxic Relationship! Mentions of abuse! Angst!!
Also, Not Proofread💅
Masterlist
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Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.
Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.
I thought I was over it. I thought things had been left in the past. I thought she forgot about me. But after receiving a text from an unknown number, it was clear she didn’t. I laid in my bed, gazing at my ceiling as tears streamed down my face. It had been over 3 years. Yet the traumatizing memories that flooded back in felt so very fresh. Each incident vividly clear as my eyes fluttered shut.
Amber stares into her mirror, adjusting her dark hair and touching up her makeup. My arms were wrapped around her waist, my hand gently rubbing her stomach as I watched over her shoulder. Her TV was hooked up to her phone, playing her playlist that wasn’t all that rangeful. Most of the songs were just replaying, mainly the same artist’s songs. It was getting quite bland hearing the same voice over and over for the past hour. But I endured it while staring at her, utterly smitten.
“Isn’t she kind of overrated?” I tease playfully, referencing the artist singing, knowing she was one of Amber’s favorites. While poking Amber’s side in a playful manner, hoping to gain her attention for at least a moment. Having had been watching Amber for a while with no commentary or affection on her end for 15 minutes. Not that I minded, being with her felt more than enough.
Instead of hearing a sarcastic quip back from her like usual, my head is whipped to the side faster than I can register. Her hand hung in the air, giving me an explanation to my now turned face. “You just slapped me.” I say slowly, registering what the fuck just happened. “Yeah. Quit saying dumb shit.” She scoffs, turning back to her reflection, quite unfazed with her own actions.
I remove my arms from her waist after seeing the forming red print of her hand on my cheek in the reflection of her mirror. I backed up, going to grab my phone off her charger to leave, wanting out of the situation. But before I can even make it three steps away, her hand is wrapped tightly around my wrist in a strong grip. She turns me to face her, one hand trailing my hip.
“Where are you going?” She asks, her tone turning seraphic and sweet. “I’m leaving, I don’t want to be here.” I say, trying to move away from her grip to no avail. “Oh don’t be a baby. You know I didn’t mean it, Y/n/n. You know I wouldn’t hurt you like that seriously.” Amber's deceptively sweet tone calls out. Her hand moved to caress my cheek softly.
“Don’t go. Please?” Amber hums softly, a small pout on her lips and her eyes pleading with my own. I give in, unable to ignore the ache in my heart at the desperate look in her eyes. I put my phone down and move to sit beside her once more.
That was just the beginning of a toxic relationship that was to soon blossom. A lesson that I wasn’t aware I needed to learn. You hear the stories of toxic relationships and think it could never happen to you, that you would never fall for the sob stories and the twisted manipulative ways of lovers that seek oblivious prey.
Amber and I were at Tara’s house, all sitting in her living room watching some action movie on the TV. I was curled up to Amber’s side, her arm wrapped around my shoulder. Tara was sitting on the other side of me, her arm resting on the armrest and her chin resting in the palm of her hand. Tara lets out a huff of a laugh as a new actress enters the scene of the movie.
“Don’t you think that chick’s dress is ugly?” Tara jokes, the dress the actress wore was adorned with yellow and orange polka dots with a weird neckline that was not at all flattering for the actress’s figure. “I don’t think you should be judging Tara, especially with your body,” Amber chuckles as she glances over at Tara with a douchy smirk. Her hand rubbing along my shoulder as they have a moment of a silent stare off.
“Fuck off,” Tara mumbles, before setting her popcorn bowl down on the coffee table and walking upstairs to her room. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I whisper, looking at her completely disgusted with her rude behavior. “Oh come on, it was just a joke. She’ll get over it.” Amber rolls her eyes, attempting to pull me closer to her embrace.
“No. That was seriously fucked up. You don’t comment on someone else’s body.” I state, removing her arm from me as I stand up, going to follow Tara upstairs to apologize for Amber’s unacceptable behavior. “Seriously? Tara made a mean comment and you didn’t give her the cold shoulder!” Amber huffs, as she stands up, her arms raised outward in anger as she tries to make an excuse. “No. She commented on a dress design that was ugly. Not the woman’s body.” I scoff, walking over to the stairs. Fully intending to apologize to Tara on Amber’s behalf.
As I step on the landing to walk up the stairs, my vision goes black. Everything was too fast to understand. I feel a heavy pressure around my neck, and the back of my head aches with the force it slammed into the wall with. My body feels a numb tingly feeling, my legs much like jelly. As my vision tunnels back in, the sight I’m met with is Amber’s hand around my throat, slamming me against the wall behind me. Her grip was so tight that I could barely gasp for breath, surely to bruise later on. Her eyes were darker than before, the look was terrifying and had a sadistic essence that left my skin crawling and spine shivering. Her cocky smile no longer there, in place was a twitching snarl. I felt my heart drop in utter fear.
Before I could say an attempt to stutter out anything, she tried to play off her violent actions after seeing the fear written on my face. Her lips shifted into a flirty smirk, and leaning in to kiss me, her lips pressed against mine in a bruising manner that left mine aching and not in a good way, her hand still gripping my around throat tightly. As my senses start to come back to me, I push her away as hard as I can, making her stumble back a bit, and then I rush upstairs to Tara’s room, not bothering to knock. I open the door and shut it behind me. Tara looks up at me bewildered as she sees the fear, betrayal and confusion written on my face.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Tara asks, getting up from her bed to wrap her arms around me in soft gentle embrace. “I- I um- I’m sorry for how Amber was acting, it wasn’t right.” I apologize, struggling to find the words that I desperately wanted to speak. Fear eating at my mind, knowing Amber was just beyond the door. “Hey, hey, no, you don’t have to apologize for her, Y/n. She is her own person, and so are you, okay?” Tara soothes, her hand softly rubbing my back trying to comfort me. “I-”
Before I could speak another word, the door swung open, Amber entering the room. Her gaze hardens at the sight. She walks over and grabs my wrist, pulling me towards the door. “We gotta head out,” Amber states, but her tone was more so demanding. “What- wait-” Tara tries to intervene but to no avail with the intense glare that Amber sent her way.
Amber drags me out of Tara’s room towards the stairs, and once we got downstairs, she didn’t waste a second getting us out the front door and into her car. “What did you say to her?” Amber demands as she enters the driver’s seat of her car.
She quickly floors it out of Tara’s driveway, taking a left turn, wheels squealing, meaning we were going in the direction of her house. My stomach turns, a sickening feeling overcoming me at the sound of her tone and the look in her eyes. Mentally, I couldn’t help but think back to the psychology class Amber and I had attended yesterday at school. More so the lesson, the one on gut-brain connection. Never thought I’d actually use the information, but seeing and feeling it happen in real time made something click in my brain. I didn’t deserve this.
“I just apologized for you being an asshole.” I huffed, a new found confidence bestowed in my mind. “Excuse you? I was the asshole? No. You were a bitch for running off when I was trying to kiss you and make up.” Amber quips, her face contorting in anger and annoyance as she grips the steering wheel tightly. “You’re the one that wants to be a stubborn bitch about everything.”
“You put your fucking hands on me. I had a pretty good fucking reason to run. Pullover.” I uncross my arms, one hand going for the door handle. “No! I’m not fucking pulling over.” Amber seethes, running a hand through her hair in frustration.
“I don’t want to be near you right now! Pull over.” I demand, my head whipping to the car door when I hear her press the lock button on her side of the car. “I’m not fucking pulling over, we are gonna talk this out. I don’t wanna lose you!” Amber starts to make herself cry, a skill she had mastered in order to manipulate me into letting her have her way.
My phone starts to ring in my back pocket, I pull it out and check the screen, the caller ID showing my mom’s name. I let out a sigh of relief. “My mom is calling.” I state. I don’t bother to glance at her direction as I answer the phone. My parents taking priority over my highschool girlfriend. “Hey honey, we need you to come home and watch the dog. Your father and I are going out for date night,” My mom’s soothing voice informs.
“Yeah of course, I’ll be home in a few.” I say before ending the call, making sure to say an ‘I love you’ at the end. “My parents need me home.” I state. “Okay, so we’ll talk this out at your house.” Amber nods, wiping her tears with the sleeve of her hoodie.
“No, my parents don’t want anyone over while I’m home alone, and they just got new cameras installed last week.” I throw in a lie at the end, just craving some space away from her.
I had spent my whole summer, every single day at her home, at her side. It was already halfway through the school year and I still barely had room to breathe with her constantly at my side. Not only that, but she had been so controlling. The whole summer, she would refuse to let me go home when I wanted to unless my parents called me practically begging me to come back home. She went through my phone, blocking every friend that she deemed a threat to our relationship, some that didn’t even do anything wrong at all. All just so she could feel more in control of our relationship.
“Okay, so you can still facetime me when you get home right?” Amber asks sternly, her hand moving to grip mine in a tight grasp. “Yeah, I’ll call you after my parents leave.” I lie through my teeth, planning to fake a low battery before the call.
“Okay… Promise?” Amber asks, glancing at me for a brief moment before her eyes turn back to the road, taking a turn towards my house to drop me off. “I promise.” I nod, lifting her hand up to my lips to kiss the back of it. She smiles and caresses the back of my hand with her thumb. “Also, we gotta talk about Tara. I don’t want us hanging out with her anymore.” Amber commands. “But why? I thought you liked Tara? She’s nice.” I say bewildered by her.
“Yeah, a little too nice to you.” Amber scoffs, her hand moving to grip my thigh possessively, “You are mine, and I don’t want you seeing her. Is that clear?” Amber questions, her hand gripping my thigh in an increasingly painful grip. “Yes ma’am.” I mumble, wincing in pain.
“Good girl.” Amber smirks in satisfaction as her hand gently rubs over when her nail marks are now indented. Amber turns into the driveway of my house, parking her car in the driveway. She turns to me, reaching out to caress my cheek. Looking at me with the same look that always won me over. “I’m gonna miss you.” Amber pouts, tracing over my bottom lip with her thumb.
“I’ll see you later, okay?” I say, feeling a pang of guilt at the sight of her pout. “Okay… Give me one more kiss?” She asks, leaning closer, her breath brushing against my lips. “Okay,” I nod, leaning in to kiss her softly before pulling away. “I love you,” Amber calls as I unbuckle my seatbelt and open the car door. “I love you too…” I say back before closing the car door behind me.
I walk up my driveway, feeling her eyes on me as I get to the door. I quickly get inside and lock the door behind me. Upon entering, my mom appears from the entrance of the kitchen. “There you are,” She walks over to me, “Your dad and I will be back in a couple hours, take care of our dog, alright? Make sure he isn’t lonely.” My mom laughs a bit at the end as she hugs me.
She grabs her purse and coat, “Let’s go!” She yells up the stairs to my dad who was taking his precious time on his hair. He quickly rushes down the stairs, nearly tripping down them, but catching himself with a nervous smile as he looks over at my mom who was unamused by his inability to be careful. “We’ll be back soon, love you kiddo,” My dad grins, patting my shoulder before offering his arm out to my mom as they walk out to their car.
Once they exit, I make sure the front door is locked, checking the back door too. No, I wasn’t expecting Amber to show up again, but I wouldn’t put it past her. Once I made sure they were secure, I called my dog to come with me up to my bedroom.
Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.
Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.
Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.
I sigh as I rub my eyes with the back of my hands. It hurts to think I was so naive. And now, with her texting me, it was all just carving open old wounds that weren’t fully finished healing. A speedy thump to the heart in my chest, one that I didn’t want but couldn’t control. My mind flashes with memories that I wish I could forget.
We were laying in Amber’s bed, her head resting on my chest as we watched videos on my phone that I held on my stomach. Her hand was softly rubbing my hip. “She looks familiar.” I comment, referring to the woman in the video who was explaining an ongoing situation in the world. “You think she’s pretty, don’t you?” Amber scoffs, lifting her head off my chest to look back up at me with an unamused look, her eyebrows furrowed.
“No, I’m just saying that I think I’ve seen her videos before,” I elaborate, softing stroking her hair trying to ease her mind. “Don’t fucking lie to me.” Amber scoffs, sitting up and taking my phone out of my hand. “I’m not lying, baby. I promise.” I say softly, my hand moving to gently caress her cheek, but she pushes my hand away. “I can’t even trust anything you fucking say.” Amber gets up from the bed, pacing her room, her face contorted in anger, that dark look in her eyes coming back.
I felt my heart race in my chest, not liking when she got like this, usually I could calm her down before a total meltdown. “You’re such a fucking liar! I saw you at school talking to Tara on Tuesday, y’know that?!” She seethes, lifting her arm back as she chucked my phone with no intent in direction. It felt like it happened in slow motion as the phone smacked me right in the face, hitting my nose and lip in a harsh manner. My hands quickly rush to cradle my face in pain.
“Fuck!” I cry in pain, blood gushing from my nose, my lip now busted from being pinched hard between my tooth and phone. Blood dripped down my lip and momentarily stained my teeth. “God don’t be so dramatic, it was an accident.” Amber rolls her eyes as she grabs a towel that was hanging off the back of her closet, walking over to hold it to my face.
“One that you could have fucking prevented!” I scoff, trying to push her hands away as I tried to hold the towel myself. “Baby, you know I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t do that to you on purpose, I just got angry” Her tone turns sweet and soft, her hand running soothingly through my hair. “But you did!” I say, trying to move away from her. “It wasn’t my fault!” Amber huffs, pulling me into her arms, tight enough that I couldn’t get away.
She leans down and presses soft kisses on my cheek, whispering sweet nothings to calm me down and get me to stop trying to squirm away. After almost 20 minutes, I no longer fought her embrace, rather leaning into it as she rubbed my back softly. Her hand holding the towel to my face, coddling me. My mind was busy thinking on how I would explain the injuries to my mom when I got home.
Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.
Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.
Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.
Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.
I let out a shaky breath, my eyes closed as I stewed in my thoughts. My hand brought up to my face, tracing over where the bump on my lip used to reside, the memories felt so fresh that I could almost feel the old wound. Then another memory flashed through my head, an invisible stake of pain piercing through the back of my skull. Remembering her was only gutting my stability further.
Amber and I were walking around a bar in a busy part of town, her mom was a busy woman, and one of her friends was having a cancer benefit. Her mother was only able to attend for 30 minutes before having to leave for a work meeting. She requested that Amber and I stay behind in her place, also asking us to make sure her name was at the top of all the raffle items for the benefit. Amber agreed after being lectured by her mother. I remained by her side, trying to be a supportive girlfriend.
We walked into the room that held the raffle buckets next to the items and the clipboard to list your name along with your bid for the item. Amber’s mother did not spare a dime with the tickets she bought, wanting to be as supporting as she can for her friend, as well as wanting to win a full massage and mani pedi. “God this is boring,” Amber whispers, guiding me to a wall for us to lean on. I lean my back against the cold brick wall, Amber moving to stand in front of me, her hand caressing my waist. “Calm down, we only have to be here for a bit longer like your mom asked.” I mumble quietly, my eyes scanning the room, observing the people in the crowded area. “Why not make it a little interesting~?” Amber smirks, her hand moving to cup my jaw as she leans in and connects her lips with mine, trying to start a heated makeout session, I push her back slightly. “I don’t feel like this is appropriate. This isn’t the time or place, I don’t feel comfortable doing this here.” I voice my concerns softly, trying not to upset her as I caress her cheek gently.
“Uhuh sure~” Amber’s smirk doesn’t falter as she leans in and forces her lips against mine once more. My hands move to her shoulders trying to push her back. Her hands move to grip my waist tighter, trapping me between the wall and her. With the crowd as busy and as drunk as they were, didn’t notice my struggle. Except for one woman, who just so happened to be working at the cancer benefit. “Excuse me, you two need to go. Out. Now.” An older woman with dark brown hair and a Monroe piercing scolds, her thin eyebrow quirked up.
I recognized her as one of the women Amber’s mother was talking with earlier before she took her leave. I felt a disgusting guilt building up inside me. I felt dirty, not in a good way, in a vile way. Amber knew how I felt about PDA, especially in settings like this. “Yeah, yeah.” Amber rolls her eyes, smiling cockily as she grabs my hand dragging me out of the room into the bar area where they would soon announce the winners. I went to sit down on one of the only empty stools left, but Amber stopped me, sitting down in the seat, making me stand in front of her as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. A blonde woman with glasses in an olive green dress stood up to begin announcing the winners from the raffle and bids. After a harrowing thirty minutes, all the winners were announced, none of which were Amber’s mother. My legs were killing me, having stood the whole time with the pressure of Amber’s head and arms resting on me.
“Whatever, let’s go.” Amber scoffs, feeling some sort of selfish anger for having wasted her time. I couldn’t understand her anger. But Amber got mad over a lot of minor things, so it wasn’t really a surprise that this was sparking a flame of anger in her. Amber grabbed my hand and dragged me through the crowds of people in the small bar. We get out the door and after a few steps outside, Amber stops me. She was shivering, having worn only a t-shirt and jeans in the middle of fall.
“Give me your hoodie.” She states, holding out her pale ringed hand. “Why? You chose to not wear a hoodie when I told you to wear one.” I say, my eyebrows furrowing, still kind of pissed off about her making me stand up the whole half hour. “Maybe because I’m your fucking girlfriend and your ride home.” Amber snaps back, her jaw clenching as she snaps her fingers, cueing me to give her the hoodie. “Okay..” I sigh, peeling off my dark green hoodie and handing it to the girl, leaving me in t-shirt and cargo pants. I didn’t want to walk home tonight, so I didn’t see the point in arguing with her further. I could feel the cold dry sting of the air hit me. I shivered, and we began to walk to her car. When we got to her car, she was livid, the parking meter had expired, a ticket sat under the windshield wiper. Her eye twitched a bit as she hastily walked over, snatching the ticket off the windshield and getting in the car. I quickly follow suit, not wanting to piss her off more. I get into the car, shutting the door behind me. I buckle my seatbelt, feeling an absolute need to, knowing she’s seething in anger. As I got in, she seemed cool for a minute, before her fist drove into the steering wheel, punching repeatedly. I reached out and held her hand with mine, preventing her fist from hitting it again, not wanting her to hurt herself. I unbuckle my seatbelt and lean over, holding her head to my chest, embracing her tightly. I move over to straddle her lap. Her arms wrap around me, holding me breathlessly tight, letting out a frustrated and muffled cry out into my chest.
I felt guilty. She was having a hard day already, her mom yelled at her earlier, a woman scolded us, she was upset about the raffle, I argued about the hoodie, and now she has a ticket. I kissed the crown of her forehead and whispered sweet nothings trying to calm her down. Once her breathing was more normal, I pulled back and looked back into her eyes, feeling a jolt to my heart as hers met mine.
“You okay?” I whisper softly, kissing her cheek a few times. Her lips were puffed out in a small pout and her eyes were teary as she stared back at me. “I’m sorry, I just- I got overwhelmed.” Amber mumbles, pressing her face back into my chest
Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.
Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.
Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.
Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.
Unknown: I need you 11:30 p.m.
I bit my bottom lip, as I thought about her eyes. Back then, I thought I always saw her eyes softening when she gazed back at me, but now that it’s been years, I have come to realize it was her loving the power and control she had over me. The way she had me wrapped around her finger no matter what.
It was a few days after the incident where she had slapped me over a joke I made about her music.
Amber and I were cuddling in her bed when my phone buzzed in the sheets next to us. She picked it up and checked the notification. My head was nuzzled into the crook of her neck, her hand that wasn’t occupied with my phone was stroking my hair softly. “Your ex fucking texted you.” Amber scoffs, opening the text. Her hand stopped stroking my hair, moving to aid her other hand with the phone.
“Block her,” I mumble, too sleepy to care about whatever my ex wants. “She said she found your hoodie and wants you to come pick it up.” Amber says after reading the text. “Tell her to throw it away.” I say, pressing a soft kiss to her neck. “No, actually…” Amber pauses thinking, “Go pick up the hoodie.” She states, pushing my head off her neck. “Why? I don’t want it.” I huff, a bit pouty about her ruining my comfortable position.
“Well I do, because then the next time that bitch stalks your instagram, she’ll get the pleasure of seeing me in your hoodie.” Amber smirks, handing my phone back to me. “Why does it matter if it’s that one? You’re on my instagram wearing my hoodies in most of our pictures,” I ask confusedly as I lean over to kiss her cheek before putting my phone in my pocket. “Because, I get to rub it in that you’re mine. If she’s willing to go through the trouble of giving you your hoodie back, she gets to go through the trouble of seeing me in it later.” Amber states before kissing me softly. “Now go get that hoodie.” She smiles, waving me off. Within a ten minute walk, I was outside my ex’s house. She stood on her burgundy colored porch, holding a familiar black hoodie in her hands. I walked up to the stairs of her porch. She smiles at me, sitting down on one of the steps as she hands it to me. “Hey… how are you?” She asks, her tone nothing but friendly.
Before she and I had broken up, we used to be close friends. Even after the break up, we remained friends until I met Amber. We broke up for the main reason that while being with me, she discovered that what she thought were romantic feelings towards me were nothing but platonic. I had felt the same way and hence the being friends thing. “I’m okay, how are you?” I ask, my voice a little rough from having walked over on a hot summer day with no water. “I’m alright. But I’m worried about you,” She pauses, “Mindy told me that you stopped talking to most of the group. What’s going on with you?” She asks softly, her hand touching my shoulder in a comforting manner. I let out a shaky sigh as tears welled up in my eyes. “Things have been difficult lately.” I state vaguely, running a hand through my hair. “What do you mean? You can talk to me. You know I won’t say a thing,” She says, knowing I’ve had a past of people telling my business to other people who have no right to it. “Amber has been getting more controlling, and well…” I sigh and wipe my face with my hand. “And what?” She whispers softly, trying to remain supportive and comforting. “She slapped me the other day,” I mumble, not wanting to have to face the reality, but knowing I need to. “What? Y/n, that’s not okay,” A small gasp comes from her mouth as she rubs my arm comfortingly. She knew this kind of behavior from anyone, especially a teenager, wasn’t okay whatsoever. She didn’t honestly have any other words besides, “You need to tell an adult.” She pauses her words, to try to lay them out more kindly, “What she’s doing isn’t right. You don’t deserve to be hurt.” She says. My phone buzzes in my back pocket, I pull it out to check it. The realization of how much time had passed brings me concern as the notification from Amber popped up. She asked what was taking me so long, and told me to hurry up.
“I gotta go, I’m sorry,” I say, slipping my phone back in my pocket before turning to walk off, missing the look of pity that my ex sent me as I walked off. I quickly hurried back to Amber’s house, despite the smoldering heat that threatened to wind me down to the sidewalk. I get back to her house, to see her waiting on her couch with her feet propped up on the dark brown coffee table in front of her. “You get the hoodie?” Amber asks, looking up from her phone. “Y- yeah.” I say through heavy breaths. I toss it over to her. She picks it up, inspecting it and the design.
“What took you so long?” She interrogates, looking back up at me with a bated stare.
“It was a long walk in hot heat,” I excuse, moving to sit beside her as I pick up her water bottle off the table to take a swig. “BS, what took you so long?” She scoffs, turning to face me with a raised brow. “My ex asked how I was doing,” I admit, looking up to meet her eyes. “And what did you say?” Amber asks, squinting her eyes. “I said I was fine,” I shrug, setting the water bottle back down on the table. “And that was it?” Amber asks, not convinced at all. “That was it.” I say, my eyes accidentally diverting from hers out of guilt. “Bullshit. What else?” She demands, grabbing my chin to force me to look at her. “She said that Mindy told her I wasn’t coming around the group as much anymore.” I admit further, wanting her to let my chin out of her tight grip. Amber lets out a dark chuckle, pinching the bridge of her nose. “A whole month without speaking to you and she still can’t keep you off her damn mind. No wonder I felt the need to keep you away from her.” Amber rolls her eyes, pulling me into her lap. I don’t say anything, not wanting to argue and cause a bigger reaction from her. Instead I silently snuggled up to the crook of her neck as she ran her ringed hand over my back in small soothing circles.
Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.
Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.
Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.
Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.
Unknown: I need you 11:30 p.m.
Unknown: Answer babe 11:33 p.m.
I didn’t hate her, after all the bullshit she did then. Not until Richie. That’s when I started to.
I walked into Amber’s home, a happy grin along my lips. I came over planning to surprise her with a cute box of snacks and drinks I made for her. I spent hours on the box alone, painting each side, attempting to recreate her favorite Stab movie covers on each side, paying close attention to each detail to try and make it near perfect for her. The box was nearly overflowing in her favorite snacks and drinks. I walked up the stairs towards her bedroom, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as I heard a bed creaking. I didn’t see anyone else’s car in the driveway so I made the stupid assumption of her having a reasonable explanation like taking care of her own needs. I balance the box on the side of my hip as I open her bedroom door. What I didn’t expect to see was Richie on top of her as she moaned out his name. The box dropped from under my arm, loudly crashing to the floor, capturing the attention of both of them. Amber’s eyes widened as she was at a loss for words. I saved her the brain power by running out of the house and driving away before she could even reach me. By the time I reached my house, I ran inside, tears leaving my eyes as I called one person that I thought I’d never call again. Tara. I called Tara. No explanation, just telling her I needed her to come to my house immediately. I went to each door and window in my house, making sure they were locked and if possible covered with the curtains and blinds. Knowing that Amber was persistent and if I didn’t pick up her calls eventually, she’d show up. I just prayed Tara would be here before then. I needed to tell someone the truth, because I didn’t quite frankly know what to do with it. Being a teenager, you don’t expect to be used like a punching bag or cheated on with a grown ass man.
I was sitting on my living room couch, my phone was tossed on the coffee table, buzzing with texts from Amber. All I knew was that I didn’t want to hear it. As I cried on the couch, a knock on the front door broke me from my sob session. I got up quickly, making my way to the door quietly before peaking out the peephole, seeing Tara standing at my doorstep. I unlock and open the door, letting the girl in before locking the door back up.
“Hey, what’s going on with you?” Tara asks softly, seeing my tear stained face. I shake my head to prevent a sob from breaking through as I hug her, burying my head in her shoulder. As my cries wrack my body, she holds me close, stroking my hair softly, shushing my cries. “It’s gonna be okay, we’ll get over this.” She whispered, unsure of what the situation was, but more than willing to try and help.
Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.
Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.
Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.
Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.
Unknown: I need you 11:30 p.m.
Unknown: Answer babe 11:31 p.m.
Unknown: Fucking answer me 11:33 p.m.
“Babe, turn your phone off, I can’t sleep with the constant notifications,” A tired brunette groans beside me in bed. She turns over in the sheets, burying her face in the crook of my neck with a tired pout. “Sorry, love. I’ll turn it off.” I kiss the top of Tara’s head, turning the do not disturb on my phone. I hover my finger over the button on my phone screen. I press down on the block button. I’m over this.
#amber freeman x fem reader#amber freeman x y/n#amber freeman x you#amber freeman#amber freeman x reader#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter
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Factory Reset !
Detective Harrington in early morning of the first Friday of the week pours himself a cup of joe as his cellphone begins to vibrate in his pants as he alerts himself about the importance of the day.Jays phone rings after he takes a inhale of the aroma traveling straight through his nostrils and his nerves rush in to overdrive sendings him in shivers as he wakes up for the morning.The minute he presses a answer call button placing the cellphone by his ears as a buzz worthy sounds vibrating through his ears in to his soul as he stops cold and he mindless stares ahead.A young man’s voice enters his ears leaving him to his core as his mind begins to spin in to a new atmosphere and whirling in to the sky everything fades out of existence like his soul jumps. He cannot fight the idea that something he is off in to a new life like his life has changed completely in a matter of seconds falling out of his body as he transported through time and space. A man appears in the midst of his darkness he is being called to him like a moth to a flame his feet begins to life and he is going insane deserving my absolute control over everything.
“Detective Harrington Welcome!”
“Where…where am I?”
“You are being processed”
“For what? I never asked for this?”
“So what my friend”
“Your white ass did”
“I am about to break you “
“No stop!”
“SHUT UP!”
“You are fucking pig”
“A white piece of shit “
“Look at me”
“Why are you doing this to me?”
“You arrested me “
“I don’t remember “
“You deserve this”
“You framed me”
“What if I did ?”
“Take a deep breath”
“Heavy and heavier “
“Stand your ground “
“Lock your house down”
“Go to your office “
“Close the door “
“Good boi”
“Mmmmm”
“Go kneel on your desk”
“Bark like a dog”
“Smile for me”
“Change your clothes “
“Go to the train station”
“Step on it”
“Travel to this location “
“Take three rides and get off the train”
“Walk down to the street and down the block “
“Enter the alley side door and greet me”
“Watching the suspect enter the train sir”
“Good job officer “
“Advise “
“Make sure he gets off at three stops “
“Guide me! “
“Give him a shove “
“Yes Master”
“Sir Yes Sir”
“Officer Harrington “
“Oh Hey!”
“Are you alright?”
“I am drunk! I think”
“You’re fine”
“I promise”
“Take our hands”
“Ok we need to get you help “
“You are high”
“No! I don’t do drugs “
“You did yesterday “
“No! I can’t “
“I wouldn’t “
“Guys! Wait”
“Where are we?”
“Guys!”
“Who are you ?”
“Master “
“Why are you calling him that?”
“Flick the lights on”
“Yes Master”
“The fuck!”
“Take the needle”
“Firmly “
“Inject him”
“Woah! Wake up “
“Must obey “
“Must submit “
He stops cold at fainting on his new masters command he hits the floor as his eyes are whirl around and slide back his eye balls in to an upper position inside of his socket and he succumbs. The man exits the shadows in to the lights in a super fashion knelt next to him placing his palms on him rubs his stomach slowly but steadily waking him up and he stirs back to reality.
His body loves the sensation of my hands on to bin with love crawling on him as he cock straightens upward hard with pleasure in moments of rock hard nature throbbing him to the side.Harrington can’t help but smile taking up his hand in mind as he kisses or slowly up to his neck and flowing to his lips in time to meet his neck and the two are forced to kiss as they are connected.
The man points to his bed wear he lays out new clothes for him to which Jay felt a very renewed desire of this life to begin yet ever again as our lips connect them again and with that he held on to me with craving he cannot and will not control.Sitting down on my bed just watch him go on his transform removing his shirt over his head, letting his pants drop exposing his underwear to the world, his dress shows kick off and he quickly dresses now in all back a sign of submission to his Nubian king.
I am on the scene Master Lawrence “
“Find him, hunt him down”
“With pleasure”
“Use every skill in your book”
“Use your badge correctly “
“I will bear him to he submits “
“Good boi”
“Mmmm! I love being bad”
“I tracked him down”
“Go off grid “
“Capture him”
“Yes Master”
“Rub through it”
“Bring him to the station”
“Enslave him and my fellow cops “
“Yes Master”
“I love you “
“Will call you soon with completion “
The end
#jay harrington#cell phone#sounds#hypnosis#mind control#reprogramming#hypno slave#hypnotic love#white bois#rehabilitation#male transformation#slave doll android#White Bois Truth#Hypno Official Job Slaves
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watched haikyuu dumpster battle yesterday and BOY do i fricking LOVE VOLLEYBALL
spoilers ahead!
the way kenma's "keep interesting" was portrayed was waaay better than expected, like, i knew it was a tense moment between kenma and hinata but when he said it in the movie i pissed my pants that was SCARY AS HELL
Kenma you will always be famous
AND FUCKING KUROO. I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH. I letarlly screamed when he laughed at the end
Its a shame i get to see it in a country were it isnt very popular, since i was the only lunatic who screamed the whole time, i was shushed twice and almost got kicked out of the theaters.
Bitch its the premier!!?!? Of fucking haikyuu?!!? The dumpster battle??!!?! The match i have been waiting to see animated since 2018!?!!??! LET ME BE HAPPY
Ngl i cryed real tears when kageyama put the ball up for hinata and said "now fly", it was fantastic
I managed to conivnce some friends to go with me and i actually punched them out of excitement every time anyone recieved the ball in a rally, im really sorry guys
I remember being told that furudate used to make horror mangas and IT SHOWS, when i read the match for the first time i got goosebumps in a whole bunch of panels, and the movie MADE THOSE PANELS PERFECT IM SHAKING
AND THE WAY KENMA WAS PANTING AND SHAKING AND THE SCENE CHANGED!!??!??! OH MY FUCKING GOOOODDDD
And daishou at the end- that was a gift from heaven, thank you very much
The only thing i wouldve wanted more of the movie it would be the coaches backstories, the real shit
Like, nekomata and ukkei friendship was jsut so fucking wholesome they were besties and rivals and they pushed each other to their limits and motivated each other and they never got to play a real match against each ither in high school so they became coaches and their schools were rivals and they were PEAK and then ukkai got sick and nekomata retired just to both of them be back in play, and then ukkai getting sick again and keishin taking his place and THE FRICKING HANDSHAKE DID HAPOEN AND I SCREAMED AND CRIED AND SHOUTED AND AND AND I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THEM
Aaaaaaaaaa this was supposed to be shorter but im way too excited about this freaks playing volleyball to not say the least. I think ive never done a post this long. Or a post in general, i just repost shit, thats the blog's name lol
Anyways, bokuaka canon and i can die happy now
#haikyuu#but fr tho#why no one was excited?#why were you there then?#kozume kenma#kuroo tetsurou#i fucking love this movie#i think i will go again and rewatch it#goodbye money#ramblings#haikyuu battle of the garbage dump#there were too many ships here#my multiship ass couldnt decide which to be more hyped with#bokuaka#kenhina#kuroken#bokuroo#kagehina#tsukkiyama#kuroshou#kurotsukki#yakulev
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Doctor Who: Dot and Bubble (14x05)
Wow, holy shit. This season keeps getting better and better.
Cons:
I really only have one tiny complaint, and it's that I wish the walking thing had been done a little differently? I think, allegorically, the idea that they all need arrows and instruction to be able to walk around when they have their bubbles up all the time is a good idea. Like, often when I'm driving somewhere I should know how to get to on my own, I still pull up the map on my phone just as an extra sense of security, or because I never bothered to fully memorize which side street to turn down or what have you. So it makes sense on that level. But the part where Lindy is literally running into poles and desks and stuff read as a little too ridiculous. I wish it had been a little less literal? Like what if instead of running into stuff, it's that Lindy is overwhelmed by the variety of things she's looking at around her, constantly distracted and overwhelmed, and she needs to mutter instructions to herself in order to force herself to walk, and she still takes the sharp 90 degree turns everywhere because that's what she's used to. And then when faced with a monster right in front of her that's blocking her most natural path towards the exit, she freezes up and can't figure out how to make herself find an alternative route right away. That would work better than the scene where she's literally just running into a pole multiple times.
Pros:
But honestly! What a fucking stunning episode, with one of the best... I guess you could say, "twists", of any Doctor Who episode I can ever remember seeing. I'm not talking about the computers turning on the citizens of Finetime, I'm not talking about the home-world being taken over and not coming back to save everyone. I'm talking about Lindy and the others rejecting the Doctor's help at the end of the episode. That scene is an all time classic, instantly, I just know it.
But first let's back up and talk about Lindy as a character. I think this episode hinges on the way she toes the line the whole episode - you don't understand at first if Lindy is an example of her society, the same as everyone else, or if there's something special about her. Is she an exception to some rule, or just a coincidental POV character? She's terrified, but she tries her best - I was moved by the moments when she realizes how truly helpless she is without the bubble and cries out "I'm so stupid!" You feel a certain sense of connection with her utter helplessness and fear. She's so coddled, so trapped in her bubble, literally, that everything new and scary seems hostile to her.
So... she can be forgiven for not instantly trusting the Doctor and Ruby, right? Right? I mean, they're strangers who came out of nowhere, and she has no idea what's going on. She's just a girl in a socially dystopian scenario where everyone's so addicted to their phones that they've shut out the rest of the world, and she needs help!
That's layer one to what's going on here.
But underneath that layer, you start to notice other things pretty early on. We learn about Finetime, we learn that it's a place that only the most elite people send their children to work. We learn eventually that the very computer program running their lives has started to get sick of them and has decided to exterminate them due to the... inanity, the intolerable repetitiveness, of their pointless, vapid lives. This isn't a situation where everyone in the world is like these people. This is a situation where the wealthiest and most privileged have literally cut themselves off from experiencing anything outside of what they know, and it's a look at the reinforcement of certain beliefs that exist in that society, due to the extreme level of shelter these people are subjected to.
The way that privilege operates within the episode is also subtly and effectively condemnatory to the viewer, or at least to this viewer, in a way that really worked. I did note the whiteness of this world, specifically the white, blonde, stereotypically attractive, thin, able-bodied woman serving as our protagonist. She seemed to represent a type of person; she stands in for a type of ignorance and privilege that we recognize in our own world. But when that moment came at the end where Lindy and the other survivors reject the Doctor's help? You bet your ass I was scouring the background of the scene, searching for any people of color in the shot. I didn't find any. And yeah, it hadn't occurred to me that all the faces we see in Lindy's friend group, all the people we see in this whole world, were white - a white majority is burned into our brains as a default, it's what I, a white person myself, am accustomed to seeing on the screen.
I think the reason the scene at the end is going to stick in people's heads is because it's not a metaphorical bigotry the Doctor suffers in this moment. It's actual, it's in your face. These people aren't "symbolically" bigoted of the Doctor's otherness, they're literally just racists. They're fucking racists. And Lindy never was special - she only lasted as long as she did because her last name starts with a letter later on in the alphabet. She is utterly typical of the people in this world, and this world is a world of white supremacy, and that's all there is to it.
Ncuti Gatwa's performance of outrage and grief was absolutely stunning. I saw one reviewer talk about how it makes sense that the Doctor being Black hasn't been addressed on screen yet, as it would be a pretty wretched look for the show to cast this actor in the role and then have the character immediately suffer racism because of it. But at the same time, it should be addressed in some way, and here's the way in which it finally is. I was also moved by Ruby's silent grief. For the treatment of her friend, but also for the way in which something so evil and stupid and pointless is going to result in all these young people probably dying in the forest, all because they couldn't look past their ingrained prejudices to accept help from someone they deemed their inferior. Gatwa screams and laughs and it's clear that he's feeling so many things, such helplessness and bewilderment and frustration. I don't know how much the show will go into this, but it would be so interesting to have the character reflect on this moment where he realizes something completely arbitrary and out of his control actually has an impact on his ability to do his job well. The character has been a white man a bunch of times in a row, then a white woman, and now a Black man. The mind fuck of having direct evidence of how the world's prejudices work in all ways big and small... what an interesting avenue for the show to explore.
I should also bring up Ricky September, legend, gone too soon from this world, shoulda joined the Doctor and Ruby in the TARDIS and had a threesome with them, tbh. I love what this character represents. At first, he seems like the ultimate symbol of this vapid, image-obsessed, bubbled society, as he's shown mugging the camera singing twinkly little songs and being a sex object for his followers. But then we meet him, and he's a genuinely nice, thoughtful person who does his best to help Lindy. We learn that it's possible to live a life using the bubble for work and then logging off, learning more about the world through history instead of constantly partying and getting caught up in the moment. This story isn't really one about "kids these days on their phones with the TikToks and the blah blah blah." It's more about being entrenched in a loop, stuck with your head in the sand. And Ricky is someone who proves that there is a way to operate outside of that system. He's not necessarily a paragon of anti-racist virtue, but he's a dude who at least has taken some steps to push back against that automatic entrenchment, proving that such a thing can be done, even given the social pressures to sink into the reinforced bubble of prejudice. I also loved Ruby and the Doctor both having a crush on him.
And I love how his character winds up, a turning point where we're starting to realize that Lindy might not actually be redeemable as someone we need to be rooting for. Her sacrifice of her celebrity crush to the killer Dot was brutal, and it feels like such a good appetizer for the final scene of the episode, as the twist comes fully into play.
I think that without that final reveal at the end, this would still have been a good episode of Doctor Who. But with it, it's an all-time great episode. God, I already feel like I want to do a re-watch just to catch more of the build to that moment. I hope that next week we get more time with the Doctor, as we've had two Doctor-lite episodes in a row. But seriously - this season just keeps getting better and better as it goes.
10/10
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Still thinking about Siren's Bay and how the scene offers some good insight into Annabeth's character early on
How up until this scene the reader has only seen Annabeth's outward reactions towards Luke and his betrayal:
At the end of TLT Annabeth does not even try to deny that Luke could do something like this, she accepts it, she believes immediately that it is something he is capable of
And earlier in SOM her only reactions towards him are hurt and anger; she yells at him, calls him insane, tells him how he's disgraced Thalia's memory and her sacrifice
It really leaves you thinking that she's basically given up on him entirely, that she's hurt and betrayed and wants nothing to do with him
but then you get to siren's bay
And you see this vision Annabeth has of her greatest ambitions, of what she wants most in the world, and amongst her visions of great achievements its revealed that one of the things she wants back most is her family
And you see that despite the hurt he's caused her already, despite his betrayal, despite everything; she still cares, she still hopes that there is some impossible way that he can redeem himself, that he can come back, that they can be a family again
It's this hope that's flamed when he argues with Atlas to spare her and she sees that hint of his old self again in TTC
It's hope that wants to find some way to make him to turn back right up until he's fully possessed by Kronos
And it's hope that keeps her trying, keeps her calling out to him when he's possessed, until she does reach him
It's amazing considering how large a part hope plays in the final book that it's talked about so little
Annabeth is such a fucking hopeful character and I will never shut up about it
#show better not mess it up or I'm fighting people#pjo#percy jackson#annabeth chase#luke castellan#percabeth
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Conflicted Chapter 20🎀:
Maddy P.O.V :
I stormed out of the bathroom, heading directly for Axl.
He told everyone in the band, which was different than telling his girlfriend something so personal about me.
And Izzy’s ex…that was where I drew the line.
“Axl!" I yelled, watching him pause in the middle of a conversation with their manager and turn his attention to me, lifting an eyebrow at my grumpy attitude.
“You told your girlfriend that you’re in love with me?!?”
"What are you saying Maddy? And keep it down," he clinched his teeth as he led me into a secluded area away from the crowd.
“Angela told me that Erin knows that you're in love with me," supposedly." I scoffed, angered by his casual demeanor, knowing he was the one propagating our private secrets out to the general public.
"I never told Erin anything, Maddy. I swear. I'm not sure why she would say that," he murmured to himself, standing there with his hands on his hips, wondering what he had done to make Erin feel that way.
I stormed away, unaware that Erin was watching us, perplexed, given the fact that they claimed the two were good friends, but based on their recent chat, it seemed as though the two were a couple fighting only adding to her theory.
Which was that her boyfriend was in love with the bassist’s sister.
“Maddy where have you been." Duff asked, already on his fourth drink of the night, banging down on the bar counter for more.
“I've been gone. Not that you would care." I spat, irritated by his intoxicated conduct and the fact that he couldn't even hold a conversation with me, let alone Steven and Slash, and then there was Izzy, wait, there wasn't.
Where was Izzy?
"Hey have any of you seen Izzy?" I inquired with the three boys, who were completely wasted.
"I-z-zzz-y?..why are you t-two goin-g to fuck-k again?" Slash mumbled, smirking wildly at his choice of words,Duff barely noticed until he realized what he had said about his sister and Izzy.
“Shut the fuck up Slash!” the bassist shouted, immediately sobering up.
"Sweetie. Izzy is just over there." Steven pointed to a small area of the pub at a booth where Izzy was sitting with none other than Angela?
The way she giggled and slapped his chest made it seem like the two were having a funny conversation , and he smiled the entire time, not realizing how clear it was that she was flirting with him.
Angela instantly noticed me staring, which prompted Izzy to shift his head, but Angela caught it and kissed him forcefully, prompting him to back off and jump out of the seat.
"Maddy," he murmured to himself, noticing me observing the two and assuming the worst of what I saw.
He instantly raced over to me and explained what had happened, and I nodded, knowing he had done nothing wrong because I was actually standing there seeing Angela be a slut.
"Why does she like you so much? Why doesn't she go see Axl or Slash?" I wondered why she was constantly drawn to Izzy.
"She's been in love with me for a long time and I didn't feel the same way, so we became fuck buddies, but I got bored of her quickly, so I called it out, and she became heartbroken," he explained casually, as if it wasn't his first time leaving a female unhappy as a musician
"Oh." I responded instantly, feeling awful for the girl because I could easily be in the same situation.
It's possible that I'm already there without realizing it.
“I know what your thinking and no just drop it." He sighed, having dealt with enough, and approached his three wasted pals to participate in the fun.
I saw Axl emerge from the scene, an empty arm that no longer served Erin Everly, and he excitedly walked to his bandmates with a sneer on his face.
I had no choice but to join the guys because I had no other friends at all in the big city and I only knew them.
“The brat has joined us.” Axl scoffed, nonchalantly sipping a cool beer in direct contradiction to his drunken bandmates, notably Izzy.
He fell over the counter, almost dropping to the floor, when I caught him and moved him to rest his head on the counter.
“You'll be taking care of him like that for the rest of your life if you keep this relationship going," he whispered, taking little sips from his drink.
“What makes you say that?”
“He’s an addict and he’ll ruin your life too with his drugs.”
"Izzy's not an addict and I can take care of him perfectly fine." I naively defended, smoothing Izzy's hair away from his sweaty face.
“Yeah right.” he scoffed slipping off his stool to found someone to dance with.
"Izzy. Wake up, let's go home." I said to him, feeling his cheeks warm up to my touch and slumped over body.
"N-no just go without m-me." He murmured, fumbling over words and pushed me away with a rough hand.
“Baby, you don’t look so good. I think it’s better if I take you home.”
“Stop touching me!" he yelled, pushing me, causing me to trip on the liquid drink previously spilled on the floor and fall on the hard ground of the bar.
I shrieked, a crushing discomfort running through me and tears forming in my eyes, unable to hide the pain, looking up at Izzy to extend a hand, but he was so high on his drug of choice for the night that he didn't care.
"Maddy! "Are you ok?" I heard Axl call out to me, rushing up to pick me up.
“What happened!" Duff shouted and hurried over to me after seeing Axl kneeling down on the floor.
"I'm fine." I said, tears streaming down my cheeks, as I returned my gaze to Izzy, who was firmly placed on the counter, unconcerned about how he had treated me.
"That bastard. I'll fucking kill you for hurting my baby sister," he roared, grabbing Izzy's shirt and dragging him up to confront his towering frame.
“If you kill me, you'll hurt your sister even more," he replied, grinning at me.
“Fuck you motherfucker.” the bassist growled punching his band mate and knocking him down on his drunken state.
“Duff!” I squealed as I crouched down next to Izzy and his newly slit brow, which was streaming with blood.
"Leave him alone, Maddy. Let's go. Axl said this as he dragged me away from Izzy and picked me up in his arms.
"You just want to fuck her." Izzy mumbled under his breath, amused at Axl's concern for the girl he allegedly dislikes.
The Indiana native may not have heard because he did not intervene, but if he had realized his long-time friend was making such a statement about the sweet girl, he would have knocked him out for good.
“That is it! I've seen enough today. You are not to see Izzy again, and I forbid you from going out with him or any other fucking musician from now on!" Duff yelled, and I could only nod, unable to find the correct words to explain what Izzy had just done.
We all got into Duff's car, Axl and I in the back, as Duff drove us to Axl's apartment.
I felt Axl interlace his fingers with mine, holding my hand in his while I slipped into sleep on his shoulder.
What I didn’t realize was that when I would wake up the next morning, Duff would have my things packed and a flight back to Seattle set out for me.
#axl rose#guns n roses#izzy stradlin x reader#izzy x reader#duff gnr#duff mckagan#gunsnfuckinroses#80’s rock#izzy stradlin#80’s music#izzy gnr#axl rose x reader#axl gnr#guns and roses#80’s aesthetic#rockstar gf#rockstar girlfriend#hard rock
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NO BECAUSE NOTHING ABOUT ANY OF THIS IS HET OR PLATONIC
#i will never shut the fuck up about this scene#eddie is so in love#i cant believe we made it#I’d like to thank all of the people who called us delusional because here we are I might’ve just edited eddie into a chair#Im a little feral#im just temporarily coping how I can before full blown analysis happen bc they’re brewing#I feel them I just can’t reach them through scramble mindset rn#tv: 911#911 on fox#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 fox#buddie#9-1-1#911onfox
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It’s cute that fyodor calls skk’s bond shallow. I guess ace’s documents about the port mafia’s abilities didn’t include a detailed report about the time in stormbringer where chuuya hung dazai upside down a pole and spins him around. I don’t think fyodor would be able to call their bond shallow if he knew how unhinged and perfectly executed that was without any verbal communication between the two of them.
#I will never shut up about that scene#like that is peak teen skk dynamic for me#they get each other in that fucked up way#I do not think Fyodor would be impressed at all by teen skk’s bond… I think he would get second hand embarrassment and yeah that’s valid#don’t even get me started on dead apple#would a shallow bond have lasted during the events of dead apple? I don’t think so#bsd#bsd 105.5#bsd spoilers#soukoku#I’m protective over their bond :( don’t touch me#osamu dazai#chuuya nakahara#fyodor dostoevsky#bungou stray dogs
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hawktrap // “ hands on the wheel “ , willie nelson
#fellas is it gay to gaze into your best buddy’s eyes and suddenly be brought back from whatever feverish mania you were in#fellas . to realize what you were actually doing#radars report after giving both hawkeye and trapper tragic roundness and depth to their characters and then literally never once addressing#it ever again :#if i never had to watch radars report again i would be happy but GOD the angst hawktrap truthers were FED#i will actually never shut the fuck up about this scene and likewise trapper worrying over hawkeye in dr pierce and mr hyde#they are each other’s heart your honor#me when i gaze into hawkeyes beautiful blue eyes#ok let me shut up#tags !#mash#m*a*s*h#mashposting#mash 4077#mashblr#hawkeye pierce#hawkeye#trapper john mcintyre#trapper john#trapper mcintyre#john mcintyre#hawktrap#traphawk#piercintyre#piercentyre#lgbt#lgbtq
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I had another realization today and I'm not okay
#I'm homophobic as of now#my brain is rotting#i cant fucking believe this#who allowed this#why am i only now realizing this#my life has been agony#my 15 year old self's ship vs my ship now#this is why we cant have nice things#cherik#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#good omens spoilers#gomens spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#good omens 2#good omens season 2#gomens 2#These are opposites and yet the same and I'll never shut up about it#None of these scenes are happening for the same reason and yet#the parallel is inescapable#beach divorce#the kiss#do you see my vision
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i literally love dark harvest so much i love that fucked up chase scene i love that damn pigeon and i especially love how fast dib goes from "omg i wanna move in with zim and wear his clothes ;3 (no homo tho lol)" to "oH dEAR gOD hE'S iN tHE vENTS" i will cherish this beautiful nightmare forever
#and no i will NEVER shut up about that part of the chase scene where dib's running down the hall and zim's up in the ceiling chasing him and#the ceiling panels are just falling down behind him i just#ASKKSKDKSJKFLSKLKSLLLKLKDSKSF#this is a weird thing for me to be losing my shit over but i am foaming at the moutht htat episdoe is so weird and i fucking love it so muc#iz#invader zim#zim#dib#zadc#zadr#zadf#zade#ha all the tags try and decode THAT relationship bitch#as much as i love the ceiling panel part i will never let it overshadow dib's GAYASS LITTLE RANT AT THE BEGINNING LIKE BRO JUST#jaksdfslfkklslkfskdfklsdlskdlslksd
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whatever og text i had in mind for this post about ko shibasaki looking like sayama in this movie is completely cancelled on account of utsumi (this character)'s first name being kaoru and i only found this out cause i was looking up her name just to be sure when making this post
like jesus christ i legally have to make this post now
#snap chats#they literally never say her first name in the movie. i think lol LIKE WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS JUST 'NO FUCKING WAY'#i do have to be tbh and say her face /is/ a little more round than sayama's#and its absolutely predominantly because of how her bangs and wardrobe are so close to sayama's that i think she look like her#BUT I CAAAANT THE WHOLE MOVIE I WAS JUST THINKIN ABOUT SAYAMA... i miss her...#OH RIGHT THE MOVIE THOUGH noooo fuck you this movie was so good it actually made me want to write a summary for it LMAOOO#LIKE I LIKE WRITING SUMMARIES BUT IVE JUST BEEN SO LAZY ABOUT IT WITH THE PAST FEW THINGS IVE SEEN BUT GOD.#ignore the fact i finished this movie two hours ago i was too busy fiddling with a card holder kit but. ill make a post about that next--#THIS MOVIE THOUGH NOOOOO IT WAS SO GOOD //SCREAMS AND YELLS AND DESTROYS A SNOWGLOBE//#god the part where ishigami and yukawa are walking by the homeless and it just lingers on an empty spot.. LIKE I THOUGHT I WAS WACK#CAUSE I WAS LIKE 'hang on wasnt there a guy there last scene' and obviously there was since the shot lingered right#BUUUUTT WHEN IT WAS REVEALED DOWN THE LINE SHUT UPPP I LITERALLY YELLED IM SO GLAD. my roommates arent home..#on god i thought the movie was gonna end with utsumi and fukawa's convo from the beginning#and i was gonna make a gaf about how fukawa was acting irrationally because he was too in love LMAOOO#BUT THEN IT KEPT GOING AND. im so glad it did. ishigami valid tbh#id also cover up and take blame for AND ACTUALLY commit murder for a girl if she said hi to me and made me lunch while i was trying to kms#while fukawa and ishigami were talkin that first night tho i just thought of after the rain.. lol... maybe the mangaka was inspo'd by that.#anyway. this movie was great. it reminded me of sherlock but if it was directed well and actually let you solve the mystery too#CAUSE WHILE I WAS WATCHING THERE WERE POINTS WHERE I TOO WAS JUST 'hang on' AND I JUST POCKETED THE INFO FOR LATER#i kicked and screamed when ishigami was talking abut how he formats his tests LIKE I SAID 'oh you fucking slipped'#when ishigami called and told her he had a white envelope in there bitch i knew it was gonna be the stalker letter i YELLED#LIKE I LIKE HOW THE MOVIE SETS THINGS UP SO ABUNDANTLY. IT'S FUN SEEING IT FIT IN THE MOVIE LATER ON#the twist of there being two bodies was so fun tho cause at the start of the movie i was sure two murders happened the same night#so when it was played off as just one i was like Oh. Ok. im still stumped on how he snuck a body out of the apartment#but yk what one detail is like. whatever in comparison to the rest of the movie being fun to watch#god im running out of tags POINT IS. PLEAAASE watch this movie if you got two hours#ive left some minor warnings on my Watchlist doc but there's nothing. TOO extreme ??#i mean there's an aforementioned suicide attempt but aside from that it's nothing too grotesque. for an rgg fan ig#ok bye i have to ramble about the card holder i got <3
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ok but the fact that "aziraphale is softening. they haven't spoken in a hundred years: he's realizing they're still friends" and "there's no need to thank me that's what...friends...are for" was in the same night is making me go INSANE
#we NEED to talk more abt the 1941 ep im so serious im not normal about it like i had such high expectations and it suppressed them all.#am i disappointed there wasn't a rejection scene like i predicted?? yes ofc but also aziraphale said he did the apology dance that year so#i wonder what else could've fucking happened#but anyway. let's focus on what DID happen: aziraphale literally GLOWING with love in the car. crowley telling him to shut up cause of a#compliment. aziraphale helping crowley out and crowley looking at him like 'you'd do that for me?'. crowley not only letting aziraphale#practice magic with him but ACTIVELY playing a character to help him and i mean that scene was literally just crowley flirting with him#crowley indulging aziraphale by going to the magic shop with him and agreeing to participate in his show despite the fact that he NEVER EVEN#SHOT A GUN BEFORE. him just leafing thru the guidebook till he realizes there's a miracle blocker than starting to frantically flip thru it#her hands SHAKING on the gun and them being so afraid of hurting az. 'no paperwork :))' sure my guy that's what u r so happy about ofc#'but do u really think it went well' 'absolutely' with such sincerity. the book description saying smth abt ifa demon were to happen across#aziraphale they should report it immediately to the demon crowley. 'you could've just walked away' 'well you said 'trust me'' 'and you did'#its just. its one of my favorite eps it's so nice#good omens#azicrow#good omens s2#aziracrow#go s2 spoilers#go s2#good omens script book#good omens s2 spoilers#aziraphale x crowley
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All day I have been trying so hard to talk about this but I have zero words. But I’m being incredibly normal about it!!!!!
#ohnmy godddd it’s tge fucking scene. THE soichiro and mello scene guys i am actually so not okay#the fact that it’s actually being included in official art is making me loose it i ammactually so sick in the head about this#if i could actually use worsd right now i would never shut up about this ever again#death note#death note official art#mello#mihael keehl#soichiro yagami#soichello#<— again not necessarily a ship post this is honestly just my target audience (i say as if i’m not the only one who ever posts abput them)#i’m deranged about both of them regardless of what their dynamic is#antways i desperarty need sleep good fucking night
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