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tofixtheshadows · 17 days

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I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.

Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.

Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.

Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.

I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.

He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).

First, we get this:

Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.

They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.

It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.

We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.

What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?

He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.

In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.

Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!

...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.

Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.

And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.

I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.

And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.

Meals are the privilege of the living.

#Dungeon Meshi #Delicious in Dungeon #Kabru #Kabru of Utaya #Laios Touden #Dungeon Meshi meta #you can have him in the tags too. as a treat.#Dungeon Meshi spoilers #this was directly inspired by livelaughlaios's post about Kabru self harming but I decided it got too long to make it a direct reply #this is a theory I've been working on for weeks because I kept noticing this while skimming for screencaps #I'm hesitant to trigger tag this because of the way certain subcultures on tumblr operate #but if anyone needs me to add a content warning please let me know #also I included image descriptions! I did my best #I think they even help illustrate my points but my god were they sad to write. Kabru is so fucking sad you guys #musings with Dea

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mroddmod · 1 month

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everyone be quiet i'm manifesting

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nancydfan · 3 months

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The world takes and takes until there's nothing left Carson can give.

Warnings: Major Character Death

#nancy drew #i was sad about this too

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opikiquu · 5 days

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#★ arin rambles #★ my art #art #honkai star rail #hsr aventurine #hsr #So basically me and my bestie have agreed that aven has a priv twt acc and its terrible #yheres only like 1 follower (and its topaz) shes sick of it cuz he posts at the dead of night and its such drastic changes #Like he’d post ‘Sometimes I think about how I’m older than my older sister now.’#and hes So Sad #and then like 12 minutes later post something like ‘staring at ratio’s cleavage rn not listening to a word hes saying’#Also ratio isnt allowed to know abt it cuz hes gushing about him constantly like a schoolgirl #anyway so this is Not That. this is the trash he posts though #ignore that one normal cat it was genuinely too cute i didnt wanan erase it .

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batshaped · 2 months

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the continued adventures of an internet user who was frozen in 2004 and defrosted in 2021: some things are just the way you left them

previous 2004 internet user comics are here: one, two, three, four, five; or just in my 2004 tag

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slavhew · 2 months

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hm

#hom3stuck #homestuck #john egbert #jade harley #dirk strider #dave strider #karkat vantas #davekat #lil hal #autoresponder #inspired sketches because i went thru a bunch of artblogs and wanted to be dynamic and artsy too #also love to listen to songs and then try my best to draw something for the duration of it. this isnt quite one of those times but #hey the names matched up nicely #idk man. tonight is a sad about dirk strider day turned into sad about dirk strider night. davekats to make it go down easier #anyways ever think about how a captcha of 13 year old dirk doesnt want to die but the 16 year old version does.#cause i do . plenty.#these seem like sketches ripe to do something with but i dont feel like touching them more so. black and white up they go

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astearisms · 8 months

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part of a sadness

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wardingshout · 4 months

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Zelda goes mushroom girl

#tloz #a link to the past #zelda #link #my art #I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one...#I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea #I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat.#it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd #if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl......#I'm falling back into my old ways rn though #anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends #like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder #they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it #in a proper way that might make sense....#if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth #and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh

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redysetdare · 22 days

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enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.

#aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aroace #loveless aro #loveless #non-partnering #nonpartnering #non partnering #nonamorous #aplatonic #enough of amatonormative tropes in media!!! enough 'you're miserable without love' stories!!!#less “you're too focused on ambitions to make you happy that you dont let yourself fall in love”#more “you're too focused on finding love to make you happy that you wont let yourself live”#more “there is so much more to life than love and so much more that can bring your happiness if you just let yourself experience it.”#maybe I should write this story #and when i say love i mean all love. not just romantic love.#which is why i tagged aplatonic too #while i mostly see this trope in terms of romantic love i think there's something to be said about #telling stories where people are perfectly content alone too #it doesn't have to be sad or pathetic to not have friends by choice. they dont have to be a miserable person to not have friends #i think we need more variety in stories where it shows people just content in their lack of love or relationships in all shapes #not everyone wants a family not everyone wants friends not everyone wants a partner not everyone wants love #some of us are content without. that should be explored without the need to fix it.

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bubblingsteam · 14 days

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#disco elysium #disco elysium fanart #kim kitsuragi #harrier du bois #harry du bois #this is probably one of my fav conversations in the game...#sad that not many people get to see it(?) cause you need like 7 in empathy?#comics #comic art #trans #cw blood #blood #cw smoking #my first time making a comic i hope it looks okay lmao #ough i have so many thoughts about kim and his complicated relationship with his name #im interpreting the dialogues in a very transgender way but its definitely about his racial identity too #cause its a *seolite* name #another factor of him not being seen as a revacholian #and its one of the only things he has left of his parents too #i wonder if the name kim is seen as more masculine or feminine in seol and in other isolas?#im definitely *not* projecting haha #i read once in a fic that kim *attempted* to translate his parents' letters when he was young #10/10 fic made me cry #thats why i decided to add the seolite dictionary - i dont think kim would have *tried* to learn seolite otherwise #he definitely has some kind of internalized racism he needs to get over #sorry for rambling #my art

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hamiltonandpercyjackson · 2 months

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rereading heroes of olympus HURTS knowing that nico stayed at chb because he knew that he had friends and then RICK KILLS JASON. HIS FIRST TRUE FRIEND SINCR BIANCA DIED. is nico not allowed to be happy

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beaulesbian · 11 months

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- [Nimona]:You should be questioning everything right now. The will of Gloreth, the Institute, the wall. What's it all really for? - [Ballister]: For protecting the realm. - [Nimona]: Oh, you mean from villains like you? Or monsters like me?

#something something we win!!#and something something all the parallels that make me crazy #nimona #nimonaedit #nimona movie #nimona netflix #ballister blackheart #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #netflixedit #mine #gif:nimona #gif:movies #all allegories and queerness its just beautiful!!#lgbt #lgbtedit #nimona spoilers #i still have too many thoughts about the whole story #especially nimona's sad realization about the kid being afraid of her bc the society taught her to be afraid of different things #ballister's journey is what makes it all even more visible bc he doesnt trust her at first #and has to unlearn a lot of things but he starts to see her as a person and sees her!! because theyre so similar! theyre the same in a way #and gloreth's journey is similar - where she was told what to think but she didnt question it and immediately turned against nimona #and then the way the director enforces the gloreth's will of keeping them all in something like a cage (wall) without questioning anything #and whover steps out is seen as a threat... yeah just overall really amazing movie.. i have a lot of thoughts

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toughbunnyforever · 3 months

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trying out human things. its boring

#i actually can't think about chainsaw man too much without getting incredibly sad #specifically about them #but also everything else #csm #chainsaw man #angel devil #aki hayakawa #akiangel #out of touch #out of time #blah blah #my art #digital art #digital illustration #sketch dump

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maybebi47 · 4 months

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who up thinking about how fabian seacaster went from a being a pampered happy healthy kid to showing up to school with serious signs of neglect (dirty clothes, untreated injuries, hungry as hell) in the span of a year?

#sad fabian hours #someone give these kids a break #also i know i posted way too much today but i literally cannot stop thinking about them #dimension 20 #fabian seacaster #fantasy high #fhjy

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a-scary-lack-of-common-sense · 6 months

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Weep

That's not what Sniper meant when he said he missed them and wanted to see them again, Spy :/

#tf2 #team fortress two #my art #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #this was supposed to be a longer comic with a whole convo betwen spy and sniper about his parents but i was too tired ✌️#spy you insensitive ass how could you misinterpret what sniper said this badly #I FUCKED UP SNIPER’S FACE- IGNORE IT I CANT DRAW SAD EMOTIONS

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ghost-bxrd · 1 month

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Prompt:

Instead of going for Tim, Jason goes for the easiest way to utterly destroy his Replacement and kidnaps his civilian boyfriend to demonstrate just how easy it is to lose something (or someone) you love in this line of work.

And while the whole “make the Replacement beg” part of the plan is going amazing…. Jason really didn’t plan the whole “keeping a conspiracy theorist teenager hostage” through to the end.

Bernard just wants to know what the new crime lord’s deal with Robin is. And why— and how— exactly he’s supposed to be a bargaining chip when he can count the times he met Robin on one hand. oh! and could someone maybe tell his boyfriend, Tim, that he’ll be late for their coffee date on Tuesday?

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