#i tried the military diet for 3 days
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Tea for two - Chapter 2
Pairing: Post-war Levi x Fem!Reader
Tags and warnings: Canon world, post-war, injured Levi, scarred Levi, romance, falling in love, fluff, angst, emotional pain.
In this chapter: It's the morning after you staying over at Levi's and he has some intense feelings and an emotional moment with you. Levi has a bit of a mental attack and lashes out, but you care for him. Levi overhears you talking about your feelings as your friend with hidden feelings for you tries to warn you about the dangers of being around Levi.
AO3 Link
Part 3
It was a dream, he was sure of it, there was no way that you were sleeping in the other room with Bo. He felt his heart racing as something stirred inside him that he’d never really felt before. He blushed hard when he felt slight arousal. He slammed his hand down on the cover onto his crotch and grunted at smacking himself. He rolled onto his side and groaned a little at the slight pain, but he really didn’t want what he thought was going to happen, to happen.
He huffed and gazed at the empty spot next to him in his double bed and imagined you lying there with a sweet smile on your face. He let out a long sigh and knew he’d be in bed for a while so he could make sure that he could calm down whatever was going on between his legs. He was a bit embarrassed because he was always up early for the day but it looked like he would be staying in.
You woke up as Levi had his moment in bed. You made your way to the kitchen and started making breakfast with the few things Levi had. You pouted a little and thought about offering to do a shop for Levi because the lack of food was concerning to you. You fed Bo a little something before finishing off a nice big breakfast and a lovely refreshing pot of tea.
Levi shuffled out of his room as his stomach growled in delight at the divine smells coming from the kitchen. He flinched a little when Bo came bounding over to him. He fussed the pup and rather liked being greeted in the morning. He limped down the hall into the kitchen and watched you plate breakfast. His heart raced in his chest as he felt happy that yesterday was not a dream.
You smiled brightly at Levi. “Good morning, Levi! I made breakfast for you.”
He blushed a little as you put everything on the dining table. “Thank you. This is sweet of you.”
You sat down and smiled. “You’re welcome. So, I need to talk to you about your food.”
He gulped hard. “Right.”
You picked up your tea. “Well, you don’t have much food and I’m worried about you.”
He blushed a little. “You’re worried about me?”
“Yes.”
He shuffled in his seat. “Could you help me?”
You smiled. “Happily.”
He ate some of his breakfast and loved the flavours. “This is delicious. It’s the best food I’ve ever tasted.”
You stared at Levi. “Really?”
He nodded as he smiled sadly. “I was born in the underground city, so the food was shit there.” He released a long sigh. “Then when I got into the scouts, it wasn’t much of an improvement. It tasted a lot better and I got more of a balanced diet, but the food wasn’t the best.” He gazed at you. “All the food you make me is incredible and so full of flavour. It makes me smile.”
You smiled sweetly at him. “I’m glad I could make delicious food for you that makes you smile.” You shifted in your seat a bit as you danced around the question in your head, but you decided to go for it. “So, what kind of foods did the military supply?”
He hummed in thought. “Bread, porridge, corn and other vegetables. Meat was a special treat, so it’s nice that now we get lots of meat and fish. I do have a big appetite so I would eat big meals. There was nothing nicer than a baked potato…” The light in Levi’s eyes faded as he thought about Sasha. He clenched his fist tightly as a mix of rage and pain filled him. He was angry at Eren still because his actions led to her death.
You reached over and placed your hand on Levi’s tightly clenched fist. “Levi.”
He returned to the present and smiled a little at you. He opened his hand and turned it over to hold yours. “I’m okay. There was this cadet who was an excellent hunter, she was a great shot with a gun too and always full of energy. She was a fan of food and she loved potatoes and meat the most. She was a good kid and she was shot down in her prime.” He welled up and shook his head. “She had faced countless titans and yet she died in a fucking blimp after being shot by some kid, all because Eren attacked Marley. It’s a shit way to die. She went through so much and her ending was brought about by a damn kid.”
You got up and walked around to Levi. “Is it okay if I hug you?”
Levi looked up at you with tears in his eyes. “Hug?”
“Yes.”
He gulped hard as he thought about hugging. Levi wasn’t used to it, and it’d been so long since he had. Levi was sure the last person who held him was his mother, so he wasn’t sure if he’d like it. “I’ve never really…umm…y-yes?”
You wrapped Levi up in your arms and held him against you. “Tell me if you don’t like it.”
Levi was a bit flustered at his head being right under your breasts. He’d never really noticed breasts that much before, but he was very aware of yours. He liked how they were shaped, the size and how soft they seemed. He was flustered by how they would bounce as you hurried around at his shop. He was even more flustered that they were right above his head.
He was then overwhelmed by your warmth and how your fingers were playing with his hair. He felt so happy and comforted by you. He lifted his arms and slowly wrapped his arms around you. He squeezed you against him and began nuzzling his face against your body. He inhaled deeply and adored your divine scent. He gripped you and smiled as he felt at peace.
You tried to pull away, but Levi held onto you. You gazed down at him and realised that this man was so starved of affection and contact. You felt terrible that he’d been hurt for so long. You wanted to heal him and make him happy. You tried to ease the weight on his shoulders. You wanted to chase away the darkness that had wrapped itself around Levi.
Levi finally released you and sighed. “Sorry, it’s been a long time.”
You stepped back and smiled. “I don’t mind. I love hugs. If you ever need one, I’m right here.” You leaned down and kissed the top of Levi’s head. “I’ll clean up and head on out.”
Levi watched you move around his home. “Oh, I was hoping you would stay a bit longer.”
You looked over at him. “Really?”
He cleared his throat. “You know, for the uh…umm…shopping.”
You dried your hands and walked over to Levi. “Sure, I can help you with a shop.”
“Thank you.”
You hummed a laugh as you watched Levi get his cane and shoes. “If I didn’t know any better, I would say you are trying to find an excuse to spend more time with me.”
His cheeks burned at your comment. “Maybe I am. Would it bother you?”
You walked over to him and grabbed your bag and one for Levi. “Not at all. I enjoy your company.”
“I enjoy yours too.”
You opened the door for him and let Bo go first. “May I escort you?”
Levi blushed a little and took your arm to give him a little help as he walked through the town. He felt so happy having you at his side. He wanted you to be forever next to him, but then his doubts and worries fluttered into his heart. He looked over at you and gulped hard. He called your name and felt happiness fill him when you smiled so sweetly and gazed back at him.
You hummed a laugh as Levi just stared at you. “Yes, Levi?”
He looked away and sighed as guilt filled him. “Was staying over okay?”
“Yes, why do you ask?”
He winced a little. “Tch, 'cause your boyfriend would hate this.”
You frowned at his words. “Boyfriend?”
“You have one, right?”
You laughed a little. “Oh, no, no, I don’t have one.”
He was happy but also incredibly confused. “You don’t? Tch, that doesn’t make any fucking sense.”
You laughed. “Why?”
He looked over at you. “How could someone like you not be taken?”
You shrugged. “Maybe because the men around have not been good enough. I want to find meaningful and deep love. I haven’t found the right guy yet.”
He stopped with you by a stall. “Right guy? What is the right guy for you?”
You picked up a few things and inspected them. “Someone who wants to grow old with me, have kids too. I want someone who will listen and care for me but also like being taken care of. I want someone to work with me through life, to share the load. I want someone to love me for me.”
Levi hummed in thought. “You’re not asking for much.”
“Well, to some people I’m asking for too much.”
“Tch, fucking stupid people.”
You bought a few things and put them in your bag for Levi. “Well, what about you?”
Levi sighed. “I’m single. I’ve never dated before.”
You stared at him. “Not interested?”
He blushed a little. “It’s really the same as you. I’ve never found the right person, plus it is hard to date when you’re in the scouts because we faced death every day.” He whined a bit as he thought about all the people who’d died. “I couldn’t bear the thought of losing someone I love. I’ve lost so many.” He smiled at you. “Anyway, I want someone that doesn’t see my title and achievements or wants me because I’m Captain Levi Ackerman. I want someone to get to know me as a person.”
You smiled at Levi. “Well, I don’t know all the things you did in the scouts, all I know is the things you’ve told me. I am sure there are others like me.”
“If it’s not you, then I don’t want to know.”
You walked over to Levi. “Did you say something?”
He blushed hard. “No, nothing. Uh, I think this is everything I need.”
You nodded. “Sure thing. Do you need help taking everything home?”
Levi wanted to keep you around for longer, but he knew that he couldn’t keep clinging to you so much. You needed to go home and change, you also needed to feed Bo some dog food. He needed to let you go, just for now though. “I’ll be okay on my own. You should head home.”
You hummed in thought. “Well, only if you’re okay.”
“May I walk you home?”
You blushed a little and nodded. “Sure.”
He slowly walked with you through the town to a home near the edge that was on its way to Levi’s. He gazed at the cute place with flowers in boxes on the windowsill. “You live near me.”
“I do.” You unlocked your front door. “Do you want to come in for a bit?”
He hummed in thought. “I would love to, but I should get my food home.”
You let Bo in before moving over to Levi and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for last night and today. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
Levi nodded. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.” He watched you go inside your home and lightly touched his cheek after as he felt the warmth of your lips on them. He smiled a little. “I liked that.”
You hurried through town with a smile on your face. You had a bag full of baked goods and you couldn’t wait to share the food with Levi. You giggled as Bo sprinted ahead and ran right into Levi’s tea shop. You jumped inside and saw Levi chuckle as Bo bounced around him. “Morning Levi!”
Levi smiled at you. “Good morning, you’re both in a good mood.”
You nodded and placed your bag on the counter. “I have some treats for you!”
He opened the bag and was in awe of all the things you’d baked. “This looks delicious. We should sell some.”
“Oh, it’s not good enough for that.”
Levi got a few things out and plated it up. He placed a little price card in front of it and smiled. “They’ll be sold out quickly.” He picked up the bag. “All this though is mine.”
You leaned on the counter causing your cleavage to show to him. “I hope you enjoy.”
His cheeks burned as he looked. He turned away and hurried around. “U-Um, I t-talked to the stall owner you mentioned and set up a deal.”
“Really? That’s great.”
He cleared his throat. “I have something for you.”
You stood up and felt a little shocked. “Really? Wow.”
He moved to his office and grabbed what he’d bought you. He returned to you with a blush. “You like baking and cooking so much, so I got you this nice apron.”
You took it from Levi and admired how pretty it was. “Thank you so much.” You put it on and tied it. “I look so cute.”
“You always look cute.”
You looked up at Levi. “Huh?”
He blushed hard. “I umm…I said…you always look cute.”
You walked over to Levi and smiled. “You flirting? This is surprising.”
“I uh…think I am…I’ve never…I’ve never done this before…”
You kissed his cheek and smiled at his adorable blush. “You did great. I felt special.”
“Well, you are special to me.” He frowned a little. “S-Sorry, I don’t umm…fully understand these emotions inside me.”
You smiled and rubbed his back. “It’s okay. Take your time. I’ll be here and I won’t leave.”
He gazed at you with pained eyes. “Never leave?”
You nodded. “Yes.”
He looked away. “No one can promise that.”
“Well, I promise.”
He glared at you and didn’t see you, but he saw all the people he’d lost in the scouts who promised him they would live. “Tch, bullshit! Stop with your fucking lies. You promised you would stay and you never did. All people ever do is leave me.”
“Levi, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Get out!” He clenched his fist as his voice cracked. “It’s better to get rid of you before you leave.”
You undid your apron and took it off. “Are you firing me?”
He frowned a little. “Fire?” His visions of his dead friends faded away and he finally saw you. He said your name softly. “I’m sorry. I’m not…I don’t want…you’re not fired.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“I…I…”
You took Levi’s hands and squeezed. “I’ll do whatever you want. I want to stay. I want to be with you, but if me being here right now causes you pain then I’ll leave.” You stared at him for a while as silence filled the room. You sighed and released his hands. “I’ll go for a walk.”
Levi felt his stomach drop and his heart hurt when he watched you walking away. He flung himself at you and hugged you from behind. “Don’t leave.” He pressed himself against you. “I can’t lose you. I refuse to lose you of all people.”
You placed your hands on Levi’s. “I don’t want to stay if it causes you pain. I can see you are suffering from the past.”
He squeezed you tightly. “I need you.” He said your name and released you so you could turn and face him. “I need you so badly.” He lowered his head. “I’m so sorry for shouting at you. I have a lot of…there’s a lot I haven’t faced from my past. I know I need to.”
“You shouldn’t force yourself to do something you’re not ready to do.”
“Thank you.” He reached up and caressed your cheek. “Please, stay.”
You leaned against his touch. “I’ll stay.”
“Thank you.” He picked up your apron and smiled. “Can I put this on you?”
“Sure.”
He put the loop over your head. He moved closer and wrapped the lines around you and tugged at the front making you gasp. He glanced up at you as he blushed. “Too tight?”
“It’s perfect.”
He did his best to tie a bow at the front. “There.” He looked up at you. “I’m sorry again.”
You smiled. “Don’t be sorry about feeling something. I couldn’t possibly imagine or comprehend what you went through. I don’t even know your story. All I know is you were in the scouts and you were hurt.”
He nodded. “I was hurt mentally and physically. I want to talk.”
You saw people coming towards the shop. “Whenever you’re ready. I’m always here for you.” You pulled away and got cleaned up. “Do you want me up front today?”
He limped over to you. “Uh, yes if that’s okay.”
You nodded and put your hair up quickly and put on a smile as the customers started coming. “Good morning!”
Levi manned the mixing counter, so if anyone wanted a mix of teas he would make it for them. He was also serving the baked things you’d made. He was so proud of everything you’d made and it sold out fast. Levi was going to ask you to bake more and to teach him a bit so he could help you out. He also wanted to do something for you because he felt terrible about today and how he spoke to you. He was thinking about taking you out on a date.
He cleaned up the tables a little as a man came into the shop and made a beeline for you. Levi kept glancing over as you seemed friendly with the man. He didn’t like how the guy was flirting with you. Something was filling Levi and he wasn’t sure what it was, but he felt irritated by this man. He wanted to get this man away from you and have all of your attention.
He moved over to you and called your name. “Who’s this?”
You smiled a little. “This is my good friend Claude.”
“Claude?” He studied the tall man with a charming smile, muscles, soft hair that was tamed and a neat suit.
Claude adjusted his glasses. “Indeed and you are Captain Levi Ackerman of the scouts.”
Levi clenched his jaw a little. “Yes.”
“Hm.” He looked at Levi in a way that Levi had never been looked at before, almost like there was dislike or hatred. He turned to you and smiled. “May I borrow you on your lunch break?”
You nibbled your lip. “Well, I kind of want to stay here with Levi. We always have lunch together.”
“I’m sure he can manage without you.”
“I like it though.”
Claude released a long sigh. “I need to talk to you, it’s rather important.”
Levi walked over and placed his hand on your lower back. “Take a short break so you can talk. We are on a downtime right now.”
You gazed at Levi. “Are you sure?”
He nodded. “It’s okay.”
You reached behind Levi and rubbed his back in response. “I’ll chat to him out back.”
“Okay.”
You pulled away from Levi and opened the hatch door. “This way, Claude.”
Claude followed behind you and gave Levi a quick nasty glance before he carried on walking. He slipped outside and sighed as you closed the door a bit. “We need to talk.”
Levi hurried over to the door and leaned against the wall and listened closely to the conversation. He looked down at Bo and fussed him. He wanted to know how you felt about him and what you’d say to Claude about him. He was so scared that you would agree with Claude about bad things.
Claude folded his arms. “Do you know who that man is?”
You nodded. “Yeah, Levi. He’s my boss and a wonderful friend. I like him a lot.”
Levi felt touched by your words. He liked you too.
Claude shook his head. “You really don’t know him. He was Captain of the scouts.”
You leaned against the wall. “I know. Everyone always calls him Captain.”
“You really don’t know what he did?” He laughed a bit. “Come on, you can’t be that oblivious.”
“Instead of making me feel stupid, why don’t you say what you want to say and then go.”
He huffed. “Levi is from the underground city. He was a criminal and was so bad the military police chased him down. Did you know he was hired to kill Commander Erwin Smith?”
You shrugged a bit. “That’s fine. Have you seen the underground? I would do anything to get out of there. I don’t blame Levi for taking whatever mission he had to so he could leave. Plus, I’m sure the Commander died in combat.”
Claude growled a little. “He got his two friends killed!”
“Titans were deadly. They killed many people. You couldn’t protect everyone from them and I know he would have tried hard.”
Levi was trying hard not to cry, he was so touched by your kindness. You were so understanding of his life in the military so far. He wasn’t surprised that Claude knew so much because after the war everything came out about those who lived.
Claude sighed. “He abandoned his famous strong team to go back to the main group. Him leaving them caused them all to die.”
“His team were capable. They faced off against a person-controlled titan, right? She was highly skilled in hand-to-hand combat and was trained by the military too. She was deadly and I am sure Levi made the choice he would regret the least. You’re not a military man, you’ve never been in a position that Levi was. You don’t know what it’s like to face Titans and command people to fight.”
He shook his head. “You’re right, I don’t know but he still left his team to die. He valued Eren over others.”
“He was ordered to keep Eren alive. Eren was humanity's last hope for us. They all had no way of knowing what he’d do.”
Claude stared at you for a while. “He saved Armin over Erwin! Erwin was the brains of the scouts and the heart of it all.”
You frowned a little. “I don’t know what went down and I don’t think I will unless Levi tells me, but as far as I know and from what I’ve seen from Armin now…Armin has such hope in his eyes and dreams of the future. He’s working so hard to get Marley to work with us. Erwin had lost an arm, he wasn’t as strong as he used to be and he had been beaten badly.”
Levi leaned his head back and smiled when you understood. It had been one of the hardest choices to make, he could choose his friend who had led the scouts so well for so long or the young kid who was smart and had hope and could see beyond the basement.
Claude groaned. “Really? What about the fact that he let Zeke go countless times? He prolonged our suffering.”
You hummed in thought. “If he was one of the best soldiers, then killing Zeke would have been easy. He was likely asked to keep him alive. I can’t imagine how painful it was for Levi to keep him alive for so long.” You welled up and cried a little. “Poor Levi.” You sniffed. “No, I won’t cry. He doesn’t need pity or my tears.”
Levi didn’t like others crying about his life or being upset for him. However, hearing you cry for him made him feel so touched. He wanted to hold you and cry with you. He could tell you really felt for him.
You laughed a little. “I can’t seem to stop crying, damn it.” You cleared your throat. “I don’t understand why this was so important to talk to me about though.”
Claude walked closer to you. “I’m worried about you being around such a dangerous man. He’s killed people. I mean, he killed a lot of people led by Kenny.”
“Wasn’t Kenny a serial killer though? He was a bad man. It must have been really hard for Levi to see him die because he was family, but Levi had to do what he must to survive.”
“What if he hurt you?”
You grabbed Claude’s hand before he touched you. “Levi would never. He’s dedicated to the people he cares about.”
“But those scars he has.”
You blushed hard. “What about them?”
“They’re terrible. He got blown up because he was stupid and his leg? I bet it looks awful. He got chewed on by a titan.”
You winced. “Must have hurt.”
“He looks like a thug.”
You whined a bit. “I think he’s really handsome.”
Claude stepped back. “Wait, don’t tell me you’re attracted to that?”
You nodded. “I am. I really like Levi. I think he’s handsome, kind, smart, funny, sexy…” You mewled. “So fucking sexy.” You blushed bright red. “He’s just a wonderful man and any woman would be lucky to marry him and make him a father. I don’t think he sees me in that way, but I would very much like to be his wife.”
Levi’s cheeks were burning as his heart raced at your words. He clutched his chest as he thought about you as his wife. He smiled and whined a little. He wanted you to be a permanent part of his life. He was going to work hard to romance you and understand his feelings. Levi had never been in love before or had romantic feelings for anyone before, so all these feelings for you were new to him and he liked it.
Claude called your name sternly. “He’s no good for someone like you.”
You rolled your eyes. “You don’t have control over who I should and shouldn’t be with.”
“I’m not trying to control you, I’m just saying that you deserve someone good in your life.”
You laughed. “I do and it’s someone like Levi. I hope that he likes me the same way, but if he doesn’t then I’m happy to have him as a friend. I just want him to be happy.”
Claude shook his head. “I don’t understand you sometimes.” He sighed. “He really makes you happy?”
“Yes.”
He saw the sparkle in your eyes. “Fine. Do as you please. I’ve warned you about him. I will be here for you when he hurts you.” He walked to the door. “You should wait out here a bit, you are bright red.”
You whined. “Yes.”
Levi hurried away from the door as fast as he could and waited by the counter. He stared at Claude as he made his way to him. “All done?”
Claude stopped by Levi and sighed. “I don’t know how you feel about her, but I will make this perfectly clear to you. I have loved her a lot longer than you. I will not give up on her.” He pointed at Levi. “I know how dangerous and horrible you are. I will win her heart, not you.”
Levi tilted his head a little as he took Claude in. “Tch, you’re more annoying than not being able to shit for months. You might have looks and money, but your personality is about as appealing as a gnat’s cock. She’s not a possession, you arsehole. She’s her own person and she can be with whoever she wants. So, take your stupid toxic thoughts elsewhere.” Levi smirked a bit as Claude stormed away. “And anyway, you would have been a couple by now if she liked you and you had her heart. There must be something wrong with you that she doesn’t like, that’s why you’ll always be a friend and nothing more.”
Claude snarled. “Fuck you, Captain Levi.”
Levi felt proud when the door was slammed. He looked down at Bo and petted his head. “You prefer me over him, right?” He smiled at Bo wagging his tail. “Knew it.” He looked up when you walked down the hall and felt his heart race. Now he knew you returned his feelings, he saw you in a whole different light. You were glowing to him. “Everything okay?”
You nodded and smiled. “All good. He was just being a bit of an ass. Are you okay? You look a little pink.”
Levi touched his burning cheeks. “I’m great.”
“Wonderful. I’ll make us some tea and we’ll have a bit of lunch.”
Levi watched you closely and felt an urge inside him. “Are you busy tomorrow?”
You looked over at him. “No, just working here with you until closing.”
He nodded and hummed in thought. “Would you like to join me that evening?”
You walked over with his tea. “Join you? What for?”
He started to feel his heart racing. “W-Well, I-I w-would, umm, like to t-take you out. I was th-thinking a walk.”
You smiled brightly. “I’d love to.”
His eyes lit up. “Really?”
You nodded as you felt your heart flutter. “Yes. This a business thing or?”
He cleared his throat. “A ah…d…d…d…date.”
You stared at Levi for a bit and felt like your heart was going to explode at how cute he looked. “I…I would love to.”
“Great!” He gasped when he realised he’d almost shouted that. “S-Sorry…umm…let’s ah, eat.”
You hummed a laugh. “Cute.” You walked with him to your usual table. “I don’t know about you, but I am starving.”
“Me too. I’m happy you made so much food again.”
You laughed. “I really need to work on my servings.”
“Don’t. I like it when you bring food in.”
You sat down and smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep baking and cooking for you.”
He played with his cup a little. “I was thinking, because your food was so popular today that we could make this a regular thing, if you want?”
You nodded. “Sure.”
“I will help, so maybe we could set up days where we cook and bake together at my place or yours.”
“How about yours? You know, because you have your medical things there in case your knee hurts.” You blushed. “I’m sorry for suggesting that.”
“No, no, it makes sense to be at mine. If I have a bad day I won’t be able to cook at yours due to there being steps up to your front door.”
You sighed in relief. “Great, I didn’t want to offend you.”
“You never would. You’re so kind and sweet to me.” He smiled a little. “So, my place it is.”
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List of things I managed to do at the ripe age of x without my parents noticing even one bit (my dad was more attentive actually, but he had depression for most of these years and was quite absent at home so it’s mostly my mom):
Ages 6-10:
- having ocd
- get sexually harassed by an elderly creep
Age 11:
- go on a diet (thought I was fat)
- start self harming
Age 12:
-starving myself (eating 500 cals a day) for 6+ months
-binging and purging by throwing up everyday for a month :)
-throwing up 3-5 times a week at other times
-going on plenty of mono diets, which included 3 days straight of only eating apples, 1 day of eating only chocolate, various days of eating only fruit, at least 2 days of eating only vegetables.
- packing only vegetables and diet food for school.
-losing 5 kgs and going down to a 45 kilo weight (was a 1.60 meters tall)
-losing my period for a year and a half!
-self harming after I’ve told them I would stop at age 11.
Age 13:
-bullied in school
-plan to commit suicide ~almost tries and fails~
Age 14:
- find an abusive online friend who hurt me a lot and said it makes sense I have no friends in school and I’m being bullied because I’m a shitty person
-my mom didn’t realize why I had depression: my dad however, did get it, and was absolutely lovely and took me out to walks so I wouldn’t stay in bed all day. ❤️ u dad ur my everything
Age 15:
- be hypomanic
-try to kms again (failed)
-get drunk often, even black out sometimes, and cry in public events with friends while I was drunk out of my ass
-hidden vodka in my clothes drawer :)
-self harm quite often
-eating disorders 2: electric boogaloo
-almost get assaulted by some creepy ass mf who said he likes his partners drunk so he gave me a buncha alcohol and gave me rapey hugs and hand massages and my best friend at the time almost fought him physically so he didn’t assault me :)
-throwing up a tonnnnn going home entirely drunk asf and throwing up every time because I was bulimic ✨
-abusing coffee and pain killers to maintain my schedule and deal with crippling headaches (my mom noticed I had a lot of painkillers and threw them out: she never asked why tho)
- massive downward slope in my grades towards the end of the high school year
-
Ages 16-18:
-these were pretty good times ngl I got better during those years
- I did however have an eating disorder still but it went away after I treated myself
-and I had to fight my mom in order to get an adhd evaluation (which turns out I have adhd duhhh), getting treatment for the headaches, getting help for allergies, and getting some medical help (I ended up paying 343 dollars out of my pocket, and got refunded half of these) for my jaw problems all of which my mom thought were entirely fabricated and untrue
Age 19:
- got raped
- almost committed suicide in my military service (came home to my mom and she refused to hug me)
So ya that’s lovely innit
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Tw talk of weight loss
The fact that I haven’t been able to loose weight for MONTHS and all of a sudden I’ve started to loose weight! I’ve lost 2 pounds this week so far, and I tried this diet but only got one day in to it so I think that might have helped to kickstart my metabolism a bit
It’s called the military diet if anyones wondering! It’s 3 days long and you can loose up to 10 pounds
#girlblogging#girl blogger#girlblogger#grays diary#xoxo gray#eating problems#body disphoria#anor3xic#an0r3x14#not pr0 4n4#ana ed#block don’t report
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Video Killed The Radio Star- Chapter 4 (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)
A/N: Happy new year! Please remember that most of these chapters are very sensitive to some readers and to be safe with this new year upon us! Another reminder that if you ever feel helpless, you are not alone and you are loved. Love you all- Em <3
Warnings: Sex talk, infidelity, blood, disturbing material, loss of a child, and suicide.
Plot: We take a small look into Heather’s past and the events leading up to her obsession. The team seems to be missing a piece of the puzzle. Adeline comes back to the station.
Word Count: 2.9K
Four years prior- January 10, 20XX
Heather had thinned out since she dropped out of college, to achieve so she had fallen victim to eating disorders. They were horrible, but they did tremendous work. She didn’t necessarily like herself per se, but she did like how she looked, even if sometimes she would look into the mirror and think “Is that me?”
Heather deleted the old version of herself and became more social. She had friends, she went to parties, she even went to bars. The bars were what bothered her the most, maybe it was the Catholic guilt building up, it could also be the fact that she was using a fake i.d. She always hated lying, it made her stomach twist into nervous knots. Tonight, she decided, would be fun. She wouldn’t throw up after eating, she wouldn’t feel guilty for having fun, instead, she would simply have a good time with her friends.
Yes, a good time is what she needed. It was around the start of the new year when Heather, privately, declared that she didn’t have to be so miserable. She deserved to do something fun, at least for tonight. In her attempt at happiness, she dressed in a casual black dress that hugged her body in a way that made her uncomfortable but made men comfortable.
Heather could play the social butterfly, but in reality, she was a wallflower. Her friends had yet to arrive so she stayed up against one of the walls of the bar, silently begging that they wouldn’t arrive too late. That’s when David approached her. David was beautiful, to say the least, with dark skin, a defined body, the most beautiful hazel eyes she had ever seen, and to top it all off he was a man in uniform. Even Heather, in all of her innocence, found him irresistible.
Like a shot, Heather and David got married. Heather kept her last name and thanks to their marriage, David got some time off, he could be there to help pick out their new house. It all felt so fast, Heather was happy, but sometimes she couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. Heather got a good two months with her husband before he off to England.
A year later when David came home, he was more distant, he didn’t want to be there. At first, Heather tried to keep him home with sex. They had sex almost everywhere, like animals. Then he started to go out, with some of their mutual friends. He would go out every night and stay out till six in the morning. Heather felt desperately lost, love slipping through her fingers, and she was hopelessly devoted to a man who was slowly falling out of love with her.
David would still have sex with her, but once he was done he would get up and leave. He always said he had somewhere to be, had work to do, but she knew that he was done with her. Well, done with her until she announced that she was pregnant. Then suddenly he was there again. He stayed in their bed at night and he cared about her.
Six months was coming around when Heather shot up in bed one night, her body in unbearable pain. The couple drove to the hospital as fast as they could, but by the time they got there it was too late, and that’s when the rest started to fall apart. David didn’t start to pull away till a couple of months later, six to be exact, and then he was on his way to Japan.
That’s when it all started, she would read anything romantic she could find. Her library consisted only of romance, sappy as it seemed. She was able to escape into a world where a man could simply love a woman, most adherently. What made her break was when David called a month before their fourth anniversary saying that when he came home he wanted a divorce and that he had met someone else.
That’s when she started seeing Y/N.
***
Present-day- March 9, 20XX
You woke up with the taste of blood in your mouth, not needing a mirror to know that the cut on your lip had broken open more in your sleep. Your tongue slid out of your mouth, licking away the blood in one swift motion. For almost two days now, morphine and blood was your diet. The only thing filtering through your veins.
You didn’t mind at this point, you were close enough to the edge of the bed that you could grab the morphine drip, you turned the nobs to make your intake high enough to feel numb. The drug was currently letting you forget, letting you forget how many times Heather kissed you, letting you forget all the assault that had been inflicted on you in the past few days.
Your head was pounding as your eyes looked around the pink room, the light making you slightly nauseous. You frowned as a tiny thought came into your brain, would this ruin all romantic endeavors for you? Would you ever be able to feel comfortable with someone seeing you naked? Would it be alright if they saw the word ‘Slut’ on your chest? You were about to bite your lip, in a lame attempt to keep yourself from crying before you remembered the cut, and you were reduced to crying silent tears as you stared up at the ceiling, trying your best to let the feeling of numbness wash over you.
Heather was downstairs, in her forest green kitchen, washing the blood off the paring knife. Rational thoughts were finally coming to her as she began to think about the seriousness of her situation. She needed a safe out. If she ran away or killed you it would mean she would have to spend an even longer time in prison. A life spent behind bars, knowing that no one would be missing her. What a painfully sad existence she lived, she thought before she started to sob over the running sink.
She remembered what she said yesterday, about how she would kill herself and you if they ever found the two of you, but that outcome was becoming more of a reality to her now. Did she have to kill Catherine? All she wanted was for you to love her, for the two of you to love each other. She tried to follow the path of normal people, the path of falling in love with someone naturally instead of kidnapping them. She had already done the marriage thing and look where that got her, she was a childless, psychopathic, soon-to-be divorcee.
No, she couldn’t spend the rest of her miserable life in prison, it had to be the latter. Heather dropped the knife into the sink, walking away towards one of the kitchen drawers to pull out a handgun, her husband was in the military, of course, he taught her how to use a gun. She put the gun on the kitchen counter, walking out to the living room to turn on the news. After all, she didn’t have to end it all if they weren’t onto her yet.
***
The profile was on pause, and they had yet to share it. Hotch was staring at photos of Y/N, Adeline Smith, and Heather Alexander, all three went to the same college, lived in the same building, and on the same floor. They all knew each other, all three of them seemed to be friends. Garcia had managed to contact some other girls that lived on that same floor. They knew you and Adeline but didn’t have much to say about Heather.
Spencer took a tiny sip of his coffee, trying to ignore how bad it tasted, as he stared at the photos with Hotch. Y/N was an English major, Adeline was psychology, and Heather was a theater major before she dropped out. He found that strange being as she was a florist now.
Derek let out a sigh, feeling especially restless on this case. He kept saying that he wanted to find you as soon as possible, Garcia jokingly told him that you probably weren’t going to tell him he had nice arms in real life, but the real reason he wanted to find you was because of your last video. It stuck with him, it stuck with all of them, your desperate plea to be found. The one it was effecting the most was Spencer.
During their car rides together, Spencer had shared that he felt they were all being deceived. He said he felt like the person was right under their noses, and yet they were just focusing too much on one thing instead of the other. After that, he combed through the evidence once again, searching for something else. Something that he could have missed, which seemed impossible, but nothing was impossible.
“So, a woman in her mid-twenties that knew Y/N since college and works in the city. Oh, and she’s a beautiful brunette.” Prentiss said with a small cold laugh.
“Let’s not forget that she has a passion for romance novels, especially the classics,” Rossi added as he came to stand with the other members of his team.
A small knock at the door made all of them turn their heads towards the door, looking strangely familiar to a pack of animals. The sheriff stood in the frame of the door as she pointed behind her “There’s an Adeline Smith here, talking about Y/N L/N.” she said simply as Spencer and Emily slipped past her and headed towards Adeline.
“Agent Prentiss,” Adeline said softly with a nervous smile “I was thinking about earlier today when you were interrogating me and I thought about something strange.”
“Strange,” Spencer repeated “How so?”
Spencer and Emily were already leading her back to the conference room they were set up in, offering her a seat before she answered Spencer’s question “Well, I just remembered somethings that Heather did.”
“What kind of things?”
“Well,” she cleared her throat softly, eyes looking around at the team slowly surround her “, She always acted differently around Y/N, she would never say it out loud but she hated it when I was there, you could see it in her eyes.”
Derek set a cup of coffee down for Adeline, she grabbed it as soon as it hit the table, taking a sip to calm her nerves. “She wanted Y/N all to herself, I get that with like a best friend but I was closer to Y/N than she was, so it was just strange.” Hotch frowned as they all shared one single thought, just because Heather Alexander had an unhealthy attachment to Y/N L/N didn’t mean that she was their unsub. Adeline gently gasped and straightened in her chair “I just remembered something!”
“It was around Halloween and the three of us got invited to this party and Y/N, being Y/N, decided she wanted to go as Catherine Earnshaw from Wuthering Heights or something and I told her it was stupid and that no one would get it, but she was pretty determined. Then one night, Heather heard that and she was all excited to be Heathcliff, said that Y/N would be her Catherine Earnshaw, said that she made a perfect Catherine Earnshaw. That never really sat right with me, that’s when I started to think that Heather was a little in love with Y/N, but then she dropped out.”
It clicked then, that their Unsub was Heather Alexander. It made sense, the copies of Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre, Heather thought of Y/N as her lover, Heather was Heathcliff, she was Mr. Rochester, she believed that Y/N’s purpose was to love her. Spencer was already walking out with Derek before Emily could thank Adeline for coming in. The rest of the team following quickly behind.
***
Heather had her back towards the television, leaning against the back of her living room couch staring out the window. Nothing was coming onto the news and nothing was happening out of the street. Heather could feel guilt eating away at her consciousness, she had snapped earlier when you refused to let her show you her love. You had yet to do that, you were so good, she loved her Catherine. She felt tiny tears rise to the surface, letting them fall as she moved away from the couch, grabbing the gun from the counter, and heading upstairs.
You were frozen on the bed, feeling like you were suffocating as Heather came back into the room. Sometimes she looked so normal, sometimes she looked like she was hurting, suffering from something. Your eyes were locked onto her as she shuffled awkwardly into the room, reminding you of how she used to act in college. Her eyes weren’t staying on you, they seemed to look around the room in a nervous haze. “Catherine,” she said in a tearful voice “I’m sorry.” she apologized, and as soon as she did her eyes locked onto yours.
You felt such pity for her in an instantaneous second, but that emotion was fleeting as you stared up at her. You could never forgive her for what she had done to you, as much as you would like to try to. You would love to be righteous, but you could only feel anger at the moment. She looked down at you, waiting for an answer, waiting for forgiveness. You silently decided that she would have to wait forever, she would have to wait until she held a gun to your head, only then would you forgive her, simply because you didn’t want to die.
You broke eye contact with her, looking around the room as she started to cry over the side of the bed, suddenly noticing that the door was slightly open. You peeled your eyes away from it quickly, afraid that if she followed your gaze she would notice and shut the door.
You were currently trying to move your arm, the morphine making it more difficult than it should have been. When you were finally able to lift your arm, you weakly grabbed Heather’s arm, your hand slipping slowly down her arm. Heather’s tears slowed as she watched your struggling attempt to touch her. She smiled when you did, taking it as a sign of forgiveness. Heather suddenly felt lighter, she slumped over the side of the bed with a heavy sigh. She was about to speak when pounding at the front door interrupted her train of thought.
Her head turned quickly to look over her shoulder, letting out a tiny curse as she ran over to shut the door, locking it from the outside, as the front door was broken down. Heather returned to the bed, grabbing the morphine drip, and yanked the wire out of your vein. You couldn’t feel it yet, but you were sure that soon you would.
Adrenaline was coursing through your veins as you realized what was happening. The police were here, the FBI was here, your videos had worked. You didn’t think that they would work, that they would be helpful, you couldn’t believe that the police had called the BAU here, just because you said you wanted them to work your case.
The adrenaline was working quickly, you sat up cautiously, swaying slightly. Heather was hyperventilating now, hand on her chest as she tried to calm down and think. She looked back at Catherine sitting up on the bed, eyes wide. Were you scared? Heather let out a shaky sigh, reaching behind her to pull out the gun she had been hiding under her shirt. Your eyes looked at the gun in her hand before shifting to look into her eyes quickly “Heather,” you started, scooting away from her on the bed. “Heather, you know you don’t have to do this. The police, if you kill me, the police will-”
“You don’t think I know what the police will do? I have to kill you and then I have to kill myself.” her hands were shaking as she held the gun towards you. There was pounding on the door. You felt tears fill your eyes, cheeks becoming red as you began to beg for your life.
“Please don’t do this, we can get out of this together. You don’t have to do this, Heather!” She flinched when you said her name, another pound at the door.
Her eyes were wide as she stole a look over at the door, it was rattling and the two of you could hear voices on the other side. She turned back to look at you, biting her lip as she cried, hands dropping. You didn’t say anything, shaking with anxiety as she lifted the gun up to her chin, smiling sweetly at you. “Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I can not live without my life! I can not live without my soul!”
“Heather, please, listen to me! Please, you don’t have to do this!”
“Goodbye, Catherine.” she finished as she pulled the trigger, gun-shot ringing throughout the house. Your ears were ringing as you let out a blood-curdling scream, watching Heather’s head explode in front of you, then the door came down.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer x you#spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#dr spencer reid#dr reid#video killed the radio star#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fic#mgg#matthew gray gubler#x reader#Spencer Reid cm#cm spoilers#Spencer cm#cm#femreader
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Lost Family Pt. 4
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
~Trigger warnings: kidnapping, torture, violence, vague mentions of death and taking life. These themes will be present in almost all chapters. Any other triggers for individual chapters will be listed separately. If I have left anything else please let me know and I’ll be sure to add it. Enjoy~
Trigger Warning: Minor mentions of death/murder, Injury, and Detailed descriptions of panic attacks, PTSD
Early in the morning, you decided to make breakfast for Harry and his daughter since she made a trip back from earth-2 late last night. You had met her before but didn’t know her as well as the others. However, she was quick to warm up to you and even came in while you were cooking.
“Wow, something smells nice in here.” She yawns as she walks closer to the familiar smell of eggs, pancakes, and turkey bacon. “You want help?”
Smiling over at her you shake your head, “No it’s okay. I never got a chance to really cook on my own before so I’ve been learning some pretty basic things and I’m just glad I haven’t burnt anything. But if you want to help could you pull out some plates for you and your dad?”
You see her give you a small nod and smirk before doing so. “You know if you spoil him like this he is never going to do it himself.”
You laugh at that, “As far as I can tell he already doesn’t do it himself. That man drinks coffee and eats the grinds for breakfast. I don’t even know how he functions on a diet of Big Belly and coffee.”
“I mean you aren’t wrong, but really you don’t have to cook for everyone” She sets the plates down next to you and grabs some silverware for it all.
You hum a reply knowing she was just being courteous and is thankful for it anyway. Plating things up and setting it over to the counter for her and her dad you notice she got you a set too. Smiling over at her before plating your own food and setting it down next to the others. “Should I go wake him up or just cover it and put it away for when he wakes up?” As she goes to answer you both hear a grumble and turn to see Harry sleepily walking in and making a B-line for the coffee maker. Stopping him in his tracks you point to the already made mug for him sitting next to his plate. He looks extremely confused. Chuckling you explain “I already made you a cup of coffee just how you like it. Also, food to go with it this morning.” He stays there for a second before deciding not to argue this early in the morning.
He grumbles a thank you before sitting and slowly eating the food and downing his coffee. You top off his coffee before he has the chance to get more and Jesse continues the polite conversation with you as you all eat.
You decided to start doing this every day and even keep up the small things to keep from feeling like he hated you and show him you wanted to be friends. It wasn’t long before he was up with you helping you cook in the mornings and helping you with small things in return. You two still bickered a lot. Mostly about how you didn’t understand the sciences that they all talked about. He was right, you didn’t understand it all, but you did understand enough. You had been experimented on your whole life. The scientists that ran the experiments started informing you after a while what they were doing once they found that you would calm down and let them without a fight. So you knew things about that stuff. You didn’t have the heart to tell him that stuff yet though. No one here knew what you had gone through, just that it was basically a military boarding school. It was slowly eating at you more and more though. The arguments started to have more and more of a sting to them and you didn’t know how much longer you could handle it. Then the meta that hurt Barry came back. So thoughts of that would have to wait.
You didn’t want Barry to go out to get hurt again. He tried telling you he’d be fine but you refused. “I’m coming with you. I won’t let you get hurt again.” You were nearly in tears at the thought.
Barry changes to his flash suit. “You can’t. The military will find you. What if they take you again?” You can see how frustrated he is getting.
“Then I’ll fight them too. I can’t sit by when I could be helping you and making up for all the things I’ve done wrong. All the people I hurt for the military. Barry, you don’t have to be the only one out there helping.” You were pleading with him at this point. He just sakes his head.
“Not yet, let us take care of it for now. I promise you that you can help soon, but I want to make sure you are totally in the clear from them first.” You huff out a breath before pacing and giving an exasperated expression.
You rub your forehead thinking for a moment. “Fine but if he hurts you enough that I feel I need to jump in I will be there to stop him.” He nods and is out the door to save the day again.
Barry does just that. Stopping the meta without getting hit even once. Apparently, he learned a lot from their first tussle. Everyone was safe and the whole group celebrated the new catch. You couldn’t though. Giving Barry a congrats before heading back to your favorite place in Star Labs needing to just decompress. You knew everyone heard what you told Barry. They were all sure to figure out eventually that those mysterious political deaths and disappearances could all be linked to you or at the very least the department you were held captive.
Feeling the memories flash in front of your eyes like it was all happening again sends you into a tailspin. You feel your airways closing up and your whole body tense as you are curled on the lounge chair on the balcony. Eyes frozen open even as you try desperately to close them and escape the memories playing out. Tears freely flowing from your glazed eyes but not daring to utter a single sound, panic set in fully making itself far too comfortable in your space. You hadn’t heard the noise happening around you until you feel the calloused hands on your arms. They firmly grip your arms shaking you slightly. The ringing in your ears slowly fading back out as you feel yourself slipping from consciousness. You can hear a voice just barely coming in over it.
“(Y/N), You need to breath. Put your head between your knees” You are too stiff to move, but then everything goes black and your body falls slack. Harry sees the color draining quickly from your face as your body slides down to fall off the chair. He luckily catches you and lays you on the ground. Starting CPR he compresses your chest first and checks for any breathing. Nothing. Again he presses his hands on your chest firmly trying his best to get air back into your lungs and your heart started up again. To no avail, he had to start giving you his own breath. It takes several attempts and what feels like an hour of him trying desperately to get you back before he hears a sharp intake of air. Your eyes flick open as you struggle to get your breathing back in control. You look around confused before looking back at Harry. “I….. We need to get you to Caitlin. I might have broken one of your ribs. Also, you died I think.” He looks at you with worry and goes to help you sit up.
“I...I’m fine.” You try to reason with him but hiss at a throbbing pain not only in the center of your chest but through the side as well. Yeah, you definitely have some broken ribs.
“Obviously not. Let me help you.” He sounds as if he is scolding a young child for not wearing a helmet while riding their bike.
You swat at him obviously upset at his tone. “I think I can do it myself thank you.” You give an equally demeaning tone to him as you stand on your own. It is a shaky stance but still. “Thanks, Dr. Well, but I think I’ve got it from here.” You send Caitlin a quick text as you slowly make your way down to the cortex before turning back for a second. “Don’t tell anyone about this.”
You see him nod and mutter “Of course” before you head to Caitlin. Trying your best to hide the injury from everyone else.
Part 5
#cw the flash#the cw flash#the flash#barry allen imagine#barry allen#cisco ramon#caitlin snow#harry wells x reader#harry wells imagine#harrison wells x reader#harrison wells imagine#harrison wells#harry wells#joe west#iris west allen#reader insert#flash imagine#killer frost#vibe#female reader#fanfiction#long read#multichapter#wally west
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I once asked a British cabinet minister why the country had never apologised for the transatlantic slave trade. After all, this nation trafficked more enslaved Africans than almost any other – at least 3 million on British ships – yet it has only ever expressed “regret”. It’s a strange choice of words for playing a leading role in the greatest atrocity in human history.
The minister explained to me that the UK cannot apologise, because the case against it – watertight in moral and ethical terms – might then become legal too. In short, Britain won’t use the language of apology, out of fear this might pave the way for reparations.
That admission made me sit up and take notice. Because, passionate as I have always been about racial justice, I’m also not immune from the perception of reparations as – in the words of American writer Isabel Wilkerson – especially “radioactive”.
Yet I’m now seeing with increasing clarity how this perception only serves to reinforce systems of race and power. The debate about reparations has, conveniently, been branded extreme and unrealistic by those who don’t want to pay them. We happily listen to the heir to the throne – who on Windrush Day said Britain owed a “debt of gratitude” to the people of the Caribbean – while ignoring the reality that what Britain owes is, in fact, a straight-up financial debt.
The case is unequivocal. The African American intellectual WEB Du Bois was right when he described the enslavement of at least 12 million Africans as “the sum of all villainies, the cause of all sorrow, the root of all prejudice”. In the Caribbean, Britain received, in the words of Nobel prize-winning economist Arthur Lewis, 200 years of free labour – from over 15 million black people, and those who were indentured from India.
The proceeds from this enslavement, and the heavily exploitative years of “apprenticed” labour that followed it, provided the profits with which Britain modernised its economy. The systemic poverty that remains in the Caribbean can be directly traced to the era of enslavement and colonialism, at the end of which Britain walked away leaving 60% of the region’s black inhabitants functionally illiterate.
The conditions in the Caribbean were so bad that, during the second world war, Britain tried to prevent deployment of African Americans on military bases in the islands. Whitehall feared the sight of better-off black Americans might wake its colonial subjects out of the ignorance of their condition on which British exploitation depended.
The Caribbean’s “pandemic of chronic diseases” – as historian Hilary Beckles, vice-chancellor of the University of the West Indies, has termed it – can be directly traced to British slavery and colonial practice. It is now a global hypertension hotspot. The high diabetes rate has left two of Britain’s former colonies, Barbados and Jamaica, vying for the dubious honour of being the per capita amputation capital of the world. “For 300 years the people of this region were forced to consume a diet based on what we produced, sugar,” Beckles explains.
Beckles was speaking this week as the Caribbean Community (Caricom) demanded reparations for Native genocide and African enslavement from 10 European nations, including the UK. It’s not a fringe set of demands but the formal position of Britain’s former colonies in the region, now its Commonwealth “friends”, including Jamaica, Guyana and Barbados – whose prime minister, Mia Mottley, is a committed advocate of reparations.
These demands are not about money per se. To borrow the language of postwar Jewish reparatory justice claims, which rightly run into the billions, it’s about the “mass murder, the human suffering, the annihilation of spiritual, intellectual, and creative forces, which are without parallel in the history of mankind”.
In fact, reparations speak a language of apology that western nations should understand. They have been profoundly comfortable receiving them.
In the US, the Confederates who lost the civil war received compensation for the loss of their property. France had no issue extorting huge sums from Haiti for generations, as reparations for that nation’s audacity in overthrowing slavery in 1804. This arrangement, euphemistically designed to “indemnify” French colonialists, persisted until 1947.
A common complaint about reparations is the alleged unfairness of burdening today’s generation with debt arising from their ancestors’ wrongs. Yet where is the outrage that my generation contributed towards the more than £300bn in today’s money notoriously paid to Britain’s slave owners for the loss of their human “property”? Their compensation under the Slavery Abolition Act – comprising an astounding 40% of the national budget at the time – was so large that it wasn’t paid off until 2015.
The pattern is clear. Reparations have been paid to those who profited from African enslavement, rather than those who were enslaved. As the historian Ana Lucia Araujo has written, to this day no former slave society in the Americas, no former slaves or their descendants, and no African nation, has ever obtained any form of reparations for the Atlantic slave trade.
Some would argue that, with the slavery era having ended so long ago, it’s now too late. But this is a piece of circularity par excellence. During the time of enslavement, and unceasingly since the 18th century, black people have stated the case in petitions, correspondences, pamphlets, public speeches, slave narratives and judicial claims – advocating in English, French, Spanish and Portuguese.
As the French colonial writer Prince Marc Kojo Tovalou Houénou wrote of Benin, black people “cry ‘Reparations!’ without ceasing”. That this cry was deliberately ignored for so long in the past cannot logically form the basis of a denial in the present.
The language of reparations continually evolves. Recently, it has taken the form of Beyoncé’s Black Parade (“Need peace and reparation for my people”); Belgians’ resurgent condemnation of the brutalisation, rape, exploitation and deaths of 5 million Congolese during colonial rule; and Ta-Nehisi Coates’ powerful testimony before the US House of Representatives that, if the US wants to say D-day matters, then so does the 1921 “Black Wall Street” race massacre. Human Rights Watch has launched a formal investigation into that atrocity, which saw an organised white mob, armed by city officials, destroy a successful black economic hub in Tulsa, Oklahoma, killing hundreds.
The case for reparations is becoming a global conversation to which every nation that systematically enriched itself by stealing black people’s very humanity – not to mention unquantifiable torture and cultural destruction – now finds itself exposed.
Instead of going away, these reparatory justice movements will continue to reinforce each other across the black diaspora. As Beckles puts it, there’s no carpet in the world with enough space under it for this legacy to be swept away.
• Afua Hirsch is a Guardian columnist
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Drafted!omegaverse: fresh omegas go to the higher-ups first and get passed down as they wear out! As their holes (boypussy to match?) get too loose or the officers just want someone new or want to try this new bodymod that isn't compatible with the old bodymod (tightlacing vs. extreme enemas? cockplugging vs coming on command? puppy vs pony play? furniture vs wench?) - everyone knows by the time the foot soldiers get an omega it isn't even worth going one at a time in such fucked-out hole(s) 1/2
Drafted!: so when the omegas get to their last deployment they get given two dual-hole fleshlight inserts as part of their uniform; if they're lucky, someone will care enough to keep the inserts and the omega's ruined holes clean, but a lot of times that gets forgotten - it takes a lot of brainpower to figure out how to get four cocks in such a tight space, and once the *perfect* position is found, well, that's what rope is for, and there are a lot of ppl in line... also I lied 2/3 more to come
Drafted!: last one 4 real this time lmao SO sometimes omegas get caught up in actual battles, but much like field medics no one tries to hurt them. On the other hand, a captured omega is considered spoils of war and no efforts are made to retrieve them - and an enemy omega is castrated (however you please, to whatever extent) without exception before being pressed into service for the enemy side (not that they can tell much difference, even with the castrating - soldiers are all the same) **_**
Ooo yessss!
Just want Stiles to end up being a sole omega ‘entertainment officer’ of a whole company of around 200-300 alphas????
whenever any soldier has off time, they can always be found in the canteen where the omega has a little corner on some messy mattresses, being fucked pretty much 24/7 :D
Of course, the military could afford to have more omegas per company, but they find this to be much more cost effective. The omega doesn’t need his own lodgings, since he is always on duty, and they don’t have to feed him anything, since with hundreds of alphas on him all day he gets buckets full of come to eat.
Actually, they make him squirt out all the come clogging up his cunt and ass in the evening, and that’s his dinner???
Just. Stiles on a steady diet of come and nothing else, with the occasional pint of piss to wash it all down? Yisss.
When enemy lines move, and the soldiers have to pack up in a rush, they actually leave him behind on accident, and the enemy doesn’t even think about giving him a break, continuing right where the others left off, except of course, they are quite a bit rougher with him - he is the enemy after all. :D
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Was tagged by @gnarrwhals a little bit ago but here’s some info about me 🤓
Name: Brandon
Pronouns: he/him
Zodiac: Sun Sagittarius and Moon Capricorn
Height: 5’8
Time: 12:30pm, I need more sleep 💤
Birthday: December 11th
Nationality: American, certainly not proud of it
Favorite bands/groups: A Day To Remember, Blink-182, Neck Deep, The Story So Far, Movements, The Wonder Years, Knuckle Puck, Angels & Airwaves, Citizen and Tigers Jaw. Really digging Belmont as of recent.
When your blog was made: this one was made in 2018, my super old one back in 2014. Made this current one after one of the worst years of my life to vent and hopefully meet new people. Have since made lots of great friends and even met a few irl. If ur reading this when we hanging irl loser
Why you chose your URL: i love everything about the Common Courtesy album from ADTR, and having common courtesy as a person is something I value in myself and in others.
Last show you binged: oh boy I haven’t actually watched Netflix in a bit but I binged The Queen’s Gambit pretty hard.
Following count: 471
Follower count: 1665, didn’t expect so much growth when I first made it tbh. Thanks everyone for sticking around throughout the horny posts and politics lmao
Average sleep hours: 6 💤
Other blogs: none. This my only blog. Old blog was courtesy-isnt-common so shoutouts if you somehow knew me in 2014
Last thing you googled: I was googling a bunch about the Israel and Palestine situation. Basically Israel is committing actual terrorism against Palestinians. Imagine if someone came inside your home and sat in your living room and said “this house is mine now” if you retaliate the Israelis military (IDF) will literally kill you. This is barely covering the topic but If you wanna know more do some research and as always question the sources. Propaganda and downplay in full swing.
Lucky Number: 24
Currently wearing: ADTR grey sweatpants and oversized dragon t-shirt woo
Instrument: learning guitar v slowly and I used to know a lot on piano. I used to play a lot of Mayday Parade but can’t remember anymore, could probably pick it back up easily though! I can also play Mad World by Gary Jules and many other songs but only partially. Last I tried learning was Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright, the one from Shrek. I got pretty far but some of the later shit is hard and I do mostly by ear ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Dream trip: anywhere my long distance tumblr friends are at 🥺 so the UK and various states across the US.
Favorite food: I love Mexican food! So many options and flexibility with multiple diets too if you’re vegetarian or vegan. Also shoutouts to pizza 🍕
Top 3 fictional universes: The Elder Scrolls, Bloodborne, and Divinity Original Sin. Those are all video games but I love the worlds and universes in those games.
Idk who to tag tbh, if you actually read all of this I think u should do your own and tag me so I can see what ur all about ❤️
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I started this challenge once, never finished....So I’m doing all at once. (It’s also therapeutic for myself).
Day 1: height 166 cm (I think it’s 5’5 or 5’6...)
CW: around 77 kg (I cannot weight myself where I live)
GW: 60 kg
UGW: 55kg
Day 2: As i said, I am 166 cm. I like my height. I could have been shorter, but that’s not my biggest problem.
Day 3: I posted some of my inspirations already, but truthfully, anyone that is thin is inspiration.
Day 4: My greatest fear...might be loose skin.
Day 5: I want to lose weight to feel confortable in my skin, to have less self loathing episodes, to feel pretty in clothes, to be attractive, to stop my parents from worrying. I do it for myself, but also for my parents.
Day 6: I do binge. Not very often, but when I am particularly sad and depressed. I am an emotional and comfort eater.
Day 7: My parents know that I am trying to lose weight and they are actively encouraging me. Especially my mom she always tells me how I should lose weight.
Day 8: I am looking for a place to run in peace (I live in a city and could not bear to run around people like that). I am also doing ab exercises and thigh exercices every evening.
Day 9: People never really commented out loud negativ things... I was never morbidly obese just overweight, but I’m sure they thought about it. My mom made some comments, but she wants me to lose weight so that is her way to « motivate » me.
Day 10: Hardest thing I gave up...Idk...eating I guess. I love eating. I am trying to balance out eating some things I like but I small sizes, so I’m not completely unhappy.
Day 11: I don’t have a favorite blog, I just surf and appreciate everyone and the content they make.
Day 12: What I normally eat. Breakfast: normally nothing, but in very rare occasions when I am with my parents I alloy myself to eat an egg. For lunch, it depends where I am: It is usually the biggest meal of the day, I make chicken or eggs, always with salad. And dinner is light, some salad or tomatoes.
Day 13: I don’t really know how I am loosing weight... a bit of both. Healthy, cause I try to eat healthy and exercise, but unhealthy cause I have my binge/strive myself phases.
Day 14: My UGW is 55 kg. I want to reach it as soon as possible...but I think realistically it will be for the next school year.
Day 15: I am not a vegan, nor a vegetarian. It’s just not my lifestyle. I thought about it one day, but I wasn’t for me.
Day 16: I realized I had to lose weight when I was around 15 ish... but I really I actively tried to lose weight at 16 yo.
Day 17: I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder.
Day 18: Anything my mom makes is a weakness for me, cause she is an amazing cook and I cannot refuse a meal from her. Otherwise, Hungarian sweets and sushi.
Day 19: The last time I ate fast food was last week cause I just got back home and had nothing to eat at home.
Day 20: I never got into any diet.
Day 21: clothing size is an M or 42 I think... (all the labels change from country to country, just confusing)
Day 22: My lowest weight was when I was just a young teen, around 65 kg. I was never a stick figure kid, I ate well and did a lot of physical activities. When I was 12 my family moved countries and long story short it was horrible for me, I hated it and had no friends at all, got separated from my old friends and got mocked because xenophobia, we had to give away my dog... I was very depressed (never diagnosed cause no therapy) and gained a lot of weight cause I stopped all the sports I did before and food was my only confort. There is a lot more to the story but that is the summary.
Day 23: Maybe yes. I wasn’t on social media when I was younger so I did not get influence of there. I think it was more of an internal. Feeling.
Day 24: I prefer not to answer this one, it is complicated and I’d have to read up more about it.
Day 25: I have never purged.
Day 26: finally feeling good about myself, or at least one less thing to worry about. Feeling great and beautiful in my clothes.
Day 27: I don’t have any big problem being around food...I might just eat it so I try to restrain myself.
Day 28: If I have to gap great. If I don’t have it, but I am still thin and have good proportions than its not a big deal.
29: My definition of beauty...it’s again a complicated question. I gonna summarize that it’s not only what you have that counts, it is also how you present it. Beauty is not only physical appearance, but also how you dress, act, feel, behave, etc... and Beaty is different in the eyes of everyone.
Day 30: 10 things about me!
1. I love to learn languages: I speak french, Hungarian, English, German, latin, Ancient Greek, I am learning, Japanese and Russian.
2. I play the piano. I also payed the violin, but not good and only for a short time.
3. I am writing a book and have multiple ideas for others.
4. I am very introverted, and shy. and also due to the fact that I moved a lot and lost may friends, I have a very hard time making new ones.
5. I love post rock, and also the artist NF.
6. I want to either join the military as an officer or go into arts.
7. I am a very big movie enthousiast
8. I have very flexible wrists, which annoyed my aïkido partners a lot.
9. I am a baby which, got into it at 17, and just had a spiritual awakening 2 months ago.
10. I could be in pain, or tired or anything, I will go through with what I began earlier, even if it’s just hurting me.
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I know no one will read this whole thing but I really need to talk about what happened to me and it would mean alot if someone read it so what he did to me would be known
So background story: My brother abused me for 10 years of my life and completely fucked me up. My entire world view was formed by him and he convinced me everyday that I was worthless and ugly and anyone who loved me only pretended to becuase they pitied me and no one in the future could possibly love something as horrible as me. And I believed it every goddamn day and I didn't know any better and I adored my brother cus he was the only one that "really loved" me and he was my big brother and that meant to mean something good and all of my self worth came from the slivers of validation he'd throw out a few times a year. And every time I thought he went to far and I said something I would get an adult saying "Big brother's are suppose to pick on their little siblings, it's how they show their love" and I believed it so I stopped talking about it. I didn't say anything when he bruised me or pushed me off of barn roofs or the two times he tried to kill me. I didn't say anything becuase every one said that all those things just meant that he loved me. The worst he was the more he loved me and this was the kind of love I deserved. I didn't deserve soft gentle love filled with encouragement and kindness, I didn't deserve unconditional, non judge mental love. I was too weak and I needed to toughen up becaus ethe world would never be kind to a disgusting person like me so I need to get use to it. I believed every lie he said becuase I was a child and nobody told me he was lying.
He was why I stopped eating in 8th grade becouse I "obviously needed a diet" then I became addicted to the control it gave me, I craved the hunger I thought I deserved. I lost so much weight and it was the first time he told me he was proud of me. One of my first memories is of when I was six years old and got my first two piece swimsuit. It was bright grean and turquoise and had frills and I was so excited about it and the first thing he said when he saw it was "wow you are really fat" how does an 8 yr old even think to say that? And of course I was chubby I was 6. So him saying he was proud of my weightloss was like a huge weight off my shoulders, I no longer had to be bullied by him about my body. Of course there was always other things wrong about the way I looked or what hobbies I had or what friends I had. I was never enough no matter what I did, but I was enough when I was starving. I had a full blown eating disorder by 10th grade and nobody said anything so I figured I was doing the right thing.
By the end of that year he left for the military and my entire life flipped upside down. The one thing that I clung on too in life left. I was completely alone. He was the only one I could say anything too, of course he always ended up using what I told him against me but I didn't see that at the time. I thought the only person who loved me had left me behind, the only person who truly understood me had a abandoned me. I had my first and worst depressive episode then. It lasted a year and a half, I attempted suicide four times, and started self harming and lost 40lbs. I was a shell of a person. I tried talking to my only friend at the time about it be she never cared (my brother always told me she didn't actually care about me and still talks about how he was right and how stupid I was to think she could possible care about me) this of course only enforced that maybe he was right all along and I was an impossible person to actually care about.
When I was 16 I had gone to a routine doctors appointment and taken a mental health test. I thought I was giving normal answers and downplayed how I really felt, unfortunately my life was so twisted that even what I thought were normal answers were alarming to my doctor. She ended up making me take my clothes off so she could see if I self harmed, I hadnt in a few months but there were still scars of course. I begged her not to tell my mom and she said she wouldn't if I told her before my next appointment, I said I would. She scheduled a few appointments for further testing and then we left. The whole ordeal was traumatic for me and of course I never told my mother hoping that next appointment never came. And it never did. I havent been to a doctor in over 3 years. I was digging through some old medical records a year ago to find my glasses prescription and I found the file for that day. Turns out my parents knew about my self harm the whole time then after the doctor told them I might have anxiety and she wants to do further testing they cancelled all further appointments and never said a word to me. I had to struggle completely alone, I always thought that they would have helped if they had known but they did know and they did nothing. They made me go through so much pain and I have no idea why.
After all that my brother came home for a visit and he was so proud of how thin I was and how well I was doing in school and everything was going so well. Then of course that couldn't last and he turned cruel and insulting and then he left again.
The last time he visted we did so good the first week, I thought he had really changed, he had actually apologized a few times when he said something mean and I was so happy he was trying to be the big brother I had always wanted. Then we were having a pleasant conversation in the car and out of blue he said "you know you will neber find a partner who won't cheat on you becuase youre asexual" and after I was upset he said "It's not my fault you can't handle facts" and of course I believed him.Then my dog died and all he could do was make jokes and mock me for caring. I told my Mom she told me that if I looked hard enough I would see that he actually loved me and all this other stuff was just surface level and didn't matter. And I believed her. But I met an amazing person who became my best friend in the whole world and the only person to ever say "that's not how sibling normally treat each other, he is abusing and manipulating you" and I could never be more grateful for her, she has taught me how to be my own person and recognize my own worth. She has encouraged me and accepted me with all the flaws I have. We have gotten in fights but it's only becuase we love each other and it never ends in screaming or beating and it's always about trying to understand each other better. We talk about triggers and experiences and always try to be mindful of them. I have never met someone that I love more.
The current situation: He is coming back in two days and I have no idea what to do. I thought I was ok becuase for about two weeks I didn't feel bad about him coming. I felt a little off but I couldn't put my finger on why then I read a post about a girl dancing with her brother at his edding and realized that I never had and would never have that kind of relationship with my brother and I had a completely mental break down an hour ago and I realized that I don't feel fine I was just emotionally shutting down and that's why I was feeling off but now I feel everything and I am so fucking scared of him coming. Now that I know what it's like to not be under his control I can't go back even for a couple of days. I can't sit across from on the couch and pretend nothing happened. I can't let him touch me like I'm not disgusted by it. I'm not that strong, I'm not that good of an actor. I am so fucking scared and no one in my family believes me, they thing I'm a bad brother for not talking to him for a few months. I am so scared of what he's going to do or say. I don't know what I'm going to do. I use to dissociate a lot but recently I haven't been and I don't think I can just mentally not exist while he's here. I am so scared that I am making a big deal out of nothing and that maybe he is a good brother and I'm just a bitch. I don't know. I don't know how I will live the rest of my life with him popping in and out to kick me down and remind me how worthless I am. I don't know how I'm going to spand the rest of my life scared of this person I am suppose to love. My parents have made it very clear that me not talking to him dissapoints and hurts them and how much they hate to see me notbe best friends with him. They always act like they support me until it actually gets down to it, then they blame me for never telling them anything even though I have a life time of being told that what was being done to me was normal and I have no idea where the line between sibling teasing a nd abuse is. I have no idea what is normal because I never had normal and nobody told me it wasn't normal till I was 18 yrs old.
I'm so sorry for dropping all this and how long it is but I've never really talked about it before and I am so scared
#abuse survivor#emotional abuse#family abuse#abuse#sibling abuse#trauma recovery#emotional trauma#trauma#eating disroders#eating disorder#tw self harm#self harm#self hate#self pity#social anxiety#anxiety#depression#suicidal#suicide#tw suicide
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Welcome To Weathering
Disclaimer: This takes place after The Implementation Of Protocol 216.
"I love you Nathaniel. Don’t ever forget that.” Alana’s voice began to waver, despite her desperate attempts to keep it steady. Nathaniel was doing everything in his power not to cry. “I promise you, I wont.” He choked. He took his jacket off, placed it around Alana’s shoulders and kissed her. “I love you more than anything in this world Alana. And when I get home, I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you.” Alana turned to Sam and Ken. “Take good care of them.” She pleaded. Sam hugged Alana. “You know damn well we will.”
The car ride to Weathering was mostly quiet. Kentin drove and did his best to catch up with Nathaniel and make small talk, but Nathaniel wasn’t having it. It was nice to see his friend again, but he was too upset over having to leave Alana. Amber attempted to apologize to Kentin and Sam for how she acted in High School, but Sam cut her off before she could finish. “If Mels believes you to be redeemed, then so do we. My sister wouldn’t forgive and protect someone like you if you hadn’t changed.” She stated. “Oh, okay.” Amber muttered and looked down. Nathaniel stared out the window. “The last time I was in Weathering, Alana was leaving for Toronto.” He thought. Sam got on her phone. “Rini? Are you near Amouria? Good. I need you to get to the Black Tower and keep Mels company. She’ll know why I sent you and will tell you if she feels like it. Because you and I both know she’s insanely stubborn and will fall back into the abyss if someone from her innermost circle isn’t there to keep her out of it. I have no idea how long. The Black Tower has plenty of spaces to do that, I’m sure Mels won’t have an issue with you using a room to perform that action. Viktor can handle that, it’s not a difficult task. Trust me, you still won’t meet Nathaniel until the moment she’s decided upon. Thanks for this Rini. No, seriously. I’m not as worried for my sister... But I do know Nathaniel will rest easier knowing that Mels is being looked after during this. Alright. Love you too. Later.” She hung up and put her phone in her lap. “So, Severina is going to be with Alana?” Nathaniel piped up. “Yeah. Trust me, if anyone can keep my sister from falling back into that pit of depression, it’s her.” Sam replied. Nathaniel continued to watch the scenery pass by. It had been forty five minutes and they still had a few minutes left of the drive before they would arrive at the Roster Family Home. “Wow, I didn’t know Weathering was so far away from Amouria. This town is so cute.” Amber commented as she watched the town begin to pass her window. “It’s gotten a few face lifts over the years. It was a bit smaller when Mels and I moved to Amouria... And even smaller when we were kids.” Sam explained. “What type of people live here?” Amber asked. “It’s a mix. Neighborhood wise, the farms are to the East, the upper class is to the West, and everyone else lives in the North And South. The Roster Family Home is to the North...” Sam explained.
The car swiftly passed through the city and began to enter a slightly wooded area. “We’re here.” Ken stated as he pulled up to a gate and put in a pass code. As the gate opened and the car pulled through, Nathaniel and Amber looked at the house. “Woah.” Amber commented. When the car came to a complete stop, they all got out and looked around. Ken popped the trunk and Sam immediately walked up to the door, unlocked and opened it. “Come on.” Sam encouraged. Nathaniel and Amber got their bags and walked inside. “Welcome to Weathering guys. Until Purification is complete, this place is your home. You can move about freely within the city, but you cannot go to Amouria. Nathaniel, you will be in Mels’ room. I trust that you remember where it is.” Sam clarified. Nathaniel nodded and walked to Alana’s room. When he got to her door, he sighed. “It’s strange being here and not having you with me.” He muttered as he opened the door. The room was covered in geeky items. The bed was black and deep blue, like her bed in Death’s Domain. He sat his bag down on the floor and sat down on the bed.
His mind wandered to what was going to happen. Each and every member of the Cartel was going to die. The Police Force was going to be made aware of the R.D.R’s decision, as well as why he was no longer an issue. Eric had tried to call him at least twice in the past couple of days, but he ignored him. He knew what Eric was bound to ask and say... And he really didn’t want to be interrogated again. Alana had told him that she would contact Eric and tell him everything that he needed to know. Because of Sam, Alana would have Severina to lean on during this time. He kicked his shoes off and laid down.
“Hey Nathaniel! Wake up!” Sam shook him awake. “What’s going on?” Nathaniel gasped as he sat up. “Dinner is downstairs. Come on, you need to eat.” Sam stated. “Aren’t you not allowed in here?” Nathaniel asked as he sat up. “Under normal circumstances, Mels would kill me if I came in here. But, I am allowed to come in and check on you if it involves a meal being ready.” Sam explained. Nathaniel got out of bed and followed Sam downstairs.
Kentin had ordered take out and placed it on the table. “There’s tacos and nachos for everyone but Amber.” He stated as Nathaniel and Sam entered the room. “Thanks for the salad.” Amber did her best to smile as she sat down in front of it. “You made sure to get sweet tea, right?” Sam asked as she sat down. “Of course I did, love. Come on Nathaniel, sit down. Make yourself at home.” Ken smiled as he sat down next to Sam and motioned to Nathaniel. “How can you two eat? Knowing what Alana is doing right now?” Nathaniel asked Sam and Ken. Sam sighed. “Right now, my sister is currently watching Sailor Moon with Severina and intends on doing a live stream of some of her play through of Kingdom Hearts 3 tomorrow.” She stated. Nathaniel blinked, a little caught off guard. “What?” Ken checked his phone. “Yeah, it’s on both the Family Forum and Instagram.” Nathaniel took out his phone, checked Instagram and the Family Forum, and sighed. Sam cocked her head a little. “This isn’t the first time my sister has watched over a Purification. This is simply the only time she’s ever been the one to enact it. She doesn’t have to take part in some elaborate plan. She just can’t leave the city until it’s over.” Sam explained. “So? She’s not gonna do any of the killing? Or be present to it?” Nathaniel asked. Sam face palmed. “I know she explained this to you. YES. She will be present for the death of the final boss. Once he’s dead and Purification is officially over, she will probably come out here and pick you up herself. Geez boy. I get that you’re upset, but please don’t waste my time being dense.” Nathaniel looked at Sam, annoyed. “Do you always have to be like this?” He asked. “YES! Nathaniel! As my brother, you are entitled to being treated how I see fit to treat my siblings. When you and Mels act like dense fools, I will happily call you two out on that. For fuck’s sake! I told you the exact thing the first time you two were together! You think that’s changed? Fuck no! So, sit your ass down and eat!” Sam boomed. Nathaniel looked at Sam, shocked and sat down in front of a plate of nachos and tacos. His mind didn’t want him to eat.... It wanted him to do his best to make his way back to Amouria and make sure Alana would be okay... But, he knew Sam was right, and his stomach needed him to eat... So, much to his brain’s dismay, he began to fill his stomach.
After dinner, Sam and Amber began walking around the property, talking. Either Alana had notified her sister about Amber’s condition, or Sam had instantly recognized it herself. Nathaniel pondered as to which option was the one that took place. “Mels told us the other day about Amber’s diet.” Ken walked up behind him. “Am I really that easy to guess?” Nathaniel asked. They began walking through the house. “For the past few years, I have had to be the sane one for both Sam and Mels. You can’t do that without picking up a few tricks.” Ken explained. They began talking about some of the events of the past few years. Alana had told Nathaniel a lot, but Ken was filling in some of the blanks. The rumors of the treaty between the Military and the R.D.R were true. Alana and Sam had had a fight so vicious that the organizations made it illegal for them to ever fight as enemies ever again. Everyone hated Azrael and blamed her for worsening Alana’s depression. “I don’t need to hear your side of Azrael forcing Alana’s and my separation.” Nathaniel interrupted Ken as Ken had begun to talk about it. “Sorry.” Ken replied.
After a few minutes of walking in silence, they met up with the girls, who had also ended up walking in silence. “Hey, guys, do you think we could go into the city and wander around a bit tomorrow?” Amber asked, doing her best to break the silence. “I’d rather not.” Nathaniel stated. “Well, that decides it. We’re all going.” Sam declared. “Why?” Nathaniel asked. “Because, you’re not gonna sit around this house and mope the entire time my sister is saving your ass! There are a shit ton of things to do in this city, and frankly, it would be good for all of us to actually enjoy our time here.” Sam emphasized.
It didn’t take long for the conversation to end and Nathaniel to go back to Alana’s room. He checked social media to see if there had been any updates. Eric was still trying to get a hold of him, demanding to know the answers to several questions. “I will discuss things with him.” Alana had told him. He knew he had to have faith in her. As he logged onto the family forum, he noticed that Severina had posted a video. She and Alana were laughing and eating pizza. “Come on Mels, why can’t I meet him before that gala?” “Because! This will be the first time my best friends meet my boyfriend! It’s going to be a historic event! Not to mention how Nathaniel and I will look like royalty and be able to have a romantic dance.... We haven’t done that since Prom....” “And what about that party you two went to a while ago?” “That was different... Nathaniel pulled me into a tango, and I was wearing a dress that amounted to little more than a napkin. At the gala, he’s gonna wear a custom suit, which he looks BEYOND SEXY in, I’ll be wearing a really cool dress, and we’ll have a chance to slow dance. God, the mere thought of it is magnificent!” Alana blushed. Nathaniel chuckled. She seemed fine, but he knew that with Severina there, Alana wouldn’t get too depressed. That didn’t stop him from missing her and worrying about her.
As he took off his clothes and got into her bed, he looked at the ceiling and sighed. “This is going to be interesting.”
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I had the option of keeping Nathaniel and Amber in The Black Tower, but everyone told me that it would be better to do some world building. And because of that, here we are. Nathaniel and Amber are in Weathering with Alana’s sister and Ken. This completely derails from the in game canon. I’m definitely out of my element in the sense of writing from Nathaniel’s point of view... But, I feel like it’s necessary. I was really unsure of how long this one should be, because it doesn’t go with the game canon... But, I’m happy that it’s much shorter than the other ones....
Credit goes to:
Unnieverso for the Kentin Sprite
FNAFfanart67 for the base to Sam’s sprite
andanguyen for the background
#my candy love#my candy love fanfiction#my candy love nathaniel#my candy love kentin#my candy love university life#MCL#mcl nathaniel#mcl fanfic#mcl fanfiction#amor doce#amour sucre#sweet amoris#Sweet kiss#sweet love#Sweet flirt#sweet crush#mclul#mclul nathaniel#nathaniel jacott#alana's canon#Corazon de Melon#corazon de bombon#cdm#cdmu#CDM Nathaniel#slodki flirt#dolce flirt#mclul fanfiction#mclul fanfic
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Questions from a couch potato to an Olympic fitness person:
Hi I’m a fatass and I’d like to change that but I have 10 questions to ask if you don’t mind me asking.
I’ve done some research but a lot of it is kind of confusing, maybe y’all can clarify for me?
Oh I’m trying to loose belly fat. I don’t think I can physically loose any more weight but If you have tips id love to loose 5-10 pounds. 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
1. Does apple cider vinegar actually work, I feel like I’m just drinking tea that taste like ass? (Is there any other bev or vitamin that’ll help a bitch out)
2. When is the best time to workout to loose as much belly fat as possible? (Like can I do it at 11:30pm when everyone is asleep)
3. How long should I exercise per day? (We’re in quarantine so I got nothing better to do)
4. I’ve been doing a lot of crunch based workouts because I’m trying to loose this tumor of a pooch strapped to my stomach, should I keep doing them or should I do more “functional exercises”? (I can’t do a push-up to save my life, I’d die. Also heard that any movement is fine)
5. So I’ve been eating less but healthily and basically fast everyday for like 12-16 hours. I eat lunch and dinner, not much and stop eating before 7-8. Should I keep doing that?
6. I’ve tried doing the more popular exercises like chloe tings workouts and haven’t seen noticeable results like many other women have? Tf is wrong with me?
7. My mom decided to make us a meal and I’m always hungry because I am trying to lose fat. I ate and ate and ate. Did I just fuck up the last 2+ weeks of work? (My body hates me I know it’s gonna revert back to beached whale if I give it a crumb)
8. I’ve seen many different diets that look promising like the egg diet or the military diet. Should I try either or is it all bullshit?
9. Being that I exercise sporadically throughout the day, should I eat foods high in protein right after? (So like ex. I ate lunch, 2 hours later I workout, do I snack on protein or nah?)
10. This is going to sound counterintuitive but I want to be thin because I’ve always struggled with loving my body and can’t remember a time where I didn’t cry to my mom at the beach after being embarrassed and not looking like the thin girls who didn’t have a pooch or roles and were slim. Yet, I know this isn’t enough of a reason to push through and workout everyday and eat healthy food (let’s face it unhealthy food taste hella good). What motivates you to workout (and I mean before you got that gym high you crazy bastard)?
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Ok! Big long headcanon world government thing....
As always, I’m open to questions, critique, suggestions, etc...
UNITED REPUBLIC
So, in the Legend of Korra we see the United Republic move from a unelected council to an elected president who shares similar qualities to the (office of the) US president. However, I feel like people are kind of tired of Raiko getting to do whatever he wanted. Zhu Li was a step in the right direction, but the people petitioned for and got a safeguard.
After the whole Kuvira mess, everyone decided to do something about it. After all it was their country and democracy means government of the people, by the people, for the people. They demanded Raiko either step down or checked himself (before he rekt himself again)
So he, along with Korra and Zuko and a team of legal experts decided to create a new constitution that would establish a legislature, rather than amending the current one as was done before.
To start, the president would no longer have the power to make Law. This was vested in a Board of Representatives, with one person being elected from each state. Over time this grew, adding one representative to represent the State as a whole. Eventually this body became the Congress of the United Republic of Nations. The Board of Representatives was transformed into the House of Delegates, with 1-3 people representing each state, based upon its population, but not exceeding 65.
At the start, there were additional representatives on the Board who would represent State interests. Powers were created and distributed amongst these branches, eventually becoming a secondary house, the Council of States. This would eventually transform into a 30 seat Senate, which represented each state once.
The process of making law is simple, in that it must pass the Board of Representatives/Laws/the Congress and approved by the president. In the United Republic, creating Law is a spectacle, with signing ceremonies not uncommon, though it’s usually reserved for groundbreaking legislation. The President may veto laws, but they will take effect anyways if 2/3 of the legislature votes in favor of passage.
This also created new “expert” advisory positions in a new “executive branch”, as well as other branches of government who would oversee and check each others power. This created a new kind of justice system where laws could be challenged against each other and the new constitution.
Thus a new, true democracy was formed in the United Republic.
EARTH KINGDOM
After Kuvira stood down and was arrested for crimes against the United Republic, King Wu who was coronated shortly before Kuvira took over her temporary power granted by the president ordered the Earth Kingdom to transition to democracy. Unfortunately this process was usurped by a Earth Empire holdout who refused to let the failed nation die. After this, Wu decided to allow states to decide their own elections, and indicated that it would be a slow, gradual transition.
After there were enough states with elected governors, they decided it was a good idea to federalize and form an alliance. This was known as the Earth Kingdom Alliance of States, or just Earth Kingdom for short. It was a member union with an overarching parliament and out of that parliament was elected a president, who served a four year term. The EK Parliament would create laws and regulations for the entirety of member states, and would be approved in a similar manner to the United Republic’s lawmaking system.
To be a part of the new alliance, a state must have elected a governor. They must also have worked with the governor to make at least a unicameral legislature, though bicameral is preferred. States must be self sufficient, and not reliant on the Earth Kingdom.
It’s unknown if this is a success.
FIRE NATION
Despite outside pressure from the world, the Fire Nation remains an absolute monarchy. Several petitions have tried and failed, and there have even been protests demanding Fire Lord Izumi speak with President Moon about a transition to some form of democracy. She has not concluded one way or the other about the direction to take.
If the Fire Nation adopted democracy, it would be a system similar to the Meiji constitution, where the Crown still played a role in the governance of the country, but the day to day operations would be in a legislature.
The Supreme power would be vested in the Fire Lord. People would elect Representatives in the Imperial Diet, and the Fire Lord would appoint Peers. The Fire Lord could also dissolve the House of Representatives. Laws must first pass the Imperial Diet, before being approved by the Fire Lord. Unlike the United Republic, the Fire Lord would not formally sign a law passed by the Diet, rather he or she would declare its effect. If the Fire Lord disapproved of a law, the diet cannot override, unlike the United Republic.
The Fire Lord also has the power to immediately suspend law, though if a measure to reinstate passes the diet by 2/3 in both chambers, this can be overridden, in a similar manner to the veto.
The Fire Lord would also have a cabinet who would be appointed by him/her. Unlike the United Republic, this is done at will, with no advice or consent required.
The Fire Lord also appoints judges to the courts, and is in supreme command of the Fire Nation armed forces.
The Fire Lord would maintain the power to issue decrees and orders
There have been talks of some factions of the Fire Nation seceding from the mainland. If such a thing were to happen, it’s unlikely they would see pressure from the crown in a military sense, as Izumi has publicly stated her opposition to her nation fighting “nonsense wars” for too much of its history.
AIR NATION
Tenzin reinstated the council of elders, but this time, they were elected by the members of the Air Nation as a whole. They would really only govern the way the Air Temples would run. Since, they have returned to their nomadic roots, their general governance is usually dependent on the area in which they are located.
WATER TRIBES
The Water Tribes remain under the governance of the Chiefs from the North and South. Each tribe also has a council of elders whose responsibility is to function in the similar manner of the United Republic council in years past, with the exception of the Chief as the Chief Executive, separate from the legislative duties of the council.
There have been no talks to transition this system to more democratic government.
#korra#lok#legend of korra#lok politics#korra politics#legend of korra politics#United Republic of Nations#Earth Kingdom#Fire Nation#Air Nation#Water Tribe
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GIRLKIND BAD MANAGEMENT AND SUB-UNIT DEBUT
Hey fanforce and Girlkind occasional fans! I wanted to finally make a post about Girlkind bad management because i feel like nobody really seem to realize nor care about what is happening to Girlkind since the last time they came back, which was already a year ago. A Few of us are really concerned about Girlkind’s career as we fear things could get worse and worse till they probably disband and honestly it would be really sad to witness another amazingly talented gg disappearing like that. Fanforce alone is a really really small fandom and we realized we are not getting heard, we’ve been completely ignored since Girlkind debuted, so i’m asking kpop stans to help us and mass email the company, but first let me explain the full story of the problematic and messy things Nextlevel Ent. has done that ruined Girlkind career. I’ll try to list them chronologically.
Please read the full thing and help us save Girlkind
Culture appropriation, N word and lack of research:
Girlkind debuted with Fanci a year ago and eventually started a meme that unfortunately will be linked to them forever, Girlkind is also known as the “Hood Unnies” because of the “All my bad unnies all my hood unnies” verse which kpoppies started using as a meme or a drag blaming Girlkind for lyrics they didn’t even composed. ROOM102 (worked with GOT7 countless of times) wrote the lyrics and composed the song for Girlkind, their company didn’t do any research and so didn’t care to double check a song that was also produced a year before its release, they basically had a whole year to eventually change the lyrics and also production but they just didn’t.
Same thing happened for Broccoli, which was a Parody single they legit called a “Mixtape” when it really wasn’t. The song was supposed to be an inside joke between us the fandom and them on their forced broccoli diet which they released a vlog about prior to the song. I don’t really understand what their company was thinking but they also thought it was necessary to release an MV for it (waste of money) in which they appropriated African hairstyles just for aesthetics. They wore Bantu knots and jumbo box braids acting hood in what looked like a urban area shooting with fake guns, now the question is...what all of this had to do with a song about a broccoli diet?? absolutely nothing, and it made things even worse, certain fandoms sent death threats, spread unnecessary hate and wished them to disband instead of educating their company sending emails, the girls were dragged for the entire year and still are now even though they had no control over it, while the company still isn’t educated.
During Girlkind debut anniversary this year i sent an email to educate the company, and throughout the year i wasn’t the only one, during Broccoli and after S.O.R.R.Y comeback, a few fans who didn’t leave the fandom sent a lot of emails too. Anyway in my email i also mentioned again to the company to double check lyrics for future covers and dance covers and make sure Girlkind doesn’t even get to mouth the N word. Unfortunately on May they posted on Bastarbastar (this app where underrated idols post their daily vlogs and short videos) Jikang’s cover of Venom by Little Simz which countains a lot of n words which Jikang eventually ended saying as well. I commented on the video ASAP and asked for it to be deleted together with other few people. The video was deleted 2 weeks after and so were the cuts posted on twitter from a few Girlkind fanpages. This shows the company never bothered to read mine and the other fan’s emails and prevent such mistakes from happening.
S.O.R.R.Y comeback and members disappearing:
S.O.R.R.Y comeback was made possible through Makestar which the company didn’t bother to even promote leaving all the hard work to fan pages with more or less 50-200+ followers each. We begged the whole kpop twitter and on here as well (i was girlkindsource at the time and god knows how much i begged for it to succeed) and after months of begging the project almost failed but suddenly succeeded literally 2 minutes away from closing with 1k dollar more than the goal. The teaser said we were going to get a Mini album, then a FULL ALBUM but we ended getting a SINGLE plagiarized from a demo on Diginoiz (a site that sells sound kits and demos). Knetz basically found out first and exposed and shamed both the girls and the company since the song was said to be co-produced by the members especially Medic Jin which is credited in the lyrics and melody composition as well. Their company seem not to know the difference between a single album, mini album and full studio album which are the basics when you enter the music industry how do they not know the-
Anyway, Girlkind S.O.R.R.Y comeback had 5 Live Stages ONLY, one nugu variety appeareance and consolation trains stages at military bases in which Medic Jin already isn’t participating in, and at this point we don’t know where the hell is Medic Jin, rumors said she left the group others that their company left a notice saying she was on hiatus on Girlkind Fancafe (which is false, we never found the notice), a few months after even Sun J disappeared and only 3 members were visibly active, Ellyn appeared in a drama, and only Jk and Xeheun were in dance covers. Their company would purposely crop Medic Jin out of teasers and missing in dance cover videos uploaded on youtube, but then she would be in Christmas and new lunar year greetings videos like how???
The company is not focusing on the group as a whole and is wasting money:
It’s been a year since Girlkind comeback as a whole, fans keep asking for comebacks but the company keeps focusing only on the same 2 members (Jikang and Xeheun). Since debut the company tried to make Girlkind look like Xeheun and the girls because she was supposedly the most popular member since she participated in PD101 S1, but things really didn’t happen that way, Ellyn happened to be the most popular member as she is also the visual, then Sun j because of her very cute face and aegyos, on the other side Xeheun, JK and Medic Jin ended being the least gp favourites but their company didn’t seem to care about statistics and proceeded giving JK and Xeheun poorly produced solos and MVs with little to any promotion at all wasting money and making their already least popular members flop. Girlkind was almost debuting in Japan as a whole after a year but all of a sudden 3-4 days before the tour got cancelled and now the company is debuting a subunit made of guess what? JK and Xeheun. At this point the company really is refusing to focus on Girlkind and instead just wants to focus on two members, on top of that they also keep wasting money on projects that are really not realistic at all, Girlkind have little to any fans in Japan but anyway wanted to make them tour there to then cancel it all of a sudden “due to one-sided circumstances with the hosting company”, which i think it’s complete bs. I am SURE the reason it was cancelled was that they did not sell enough tickets for all the 5 dates, imagine 5 tour dates of a group with less than 5 fans in Japan, i’m sure the hosting company didn’t want to waste time and so they agreed to cancel the tour. Besides the tour their company wasted money for the Broccoli and S.O.R.R.Y MV (they flew all the way to Saipan for that bad MV when they could’ve stayed local and go to Jeju Island if they really wanted a summer concept for the MV), Xeheun and JK solos and unreleased shoots of their travel in Japan their company promised to release during the tour.
Girlkind honestly deserves so much more, each member is so talented and could easily be a main dancer in whatever group they would be if they weren’t together, however their company doesn’t seem to know how to showcase their talent and is making them look like a joke. Unfortunately they happened to debut in a really messy company with niggaboo stylists, negligent managers and at this point probably broke with little to no connections. The company is fairly new and we think this should be the right moment to proper educate them before it’s too late, but as i said before, we are a really really small fandom and i think that if we are in more emailing them about what we would like to see from Girlkind (dance or song covers, vlogs etc...), educate them on cultures etc... they would finally listen and take actions. Please help Fanforce save Girlkind and email the company at [email protected]
#girlkind#femaleidolsedit#underratedgirlsedit#underratedidolsedit#kgirlsquad#femadolsedit#ggnetwork#medic jin#jikang#xeheun#sun j#ellyn#t:info
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{ low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline }
.
𝖖 𝖚 𝖔 𝖙 𝖊 𝖘
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” -- Albert Camus
“We are unusual, tragic, and alive.” -- Dave Eggers
“I have a very childlike rage, and a very childlike loneliness.” -- Richey Edwards
“’Are you implying that shreds of my reputation remain intact?’ Will demanded with mock horror. ‘Clearly I have been doing something wrong. Or not something wrong, as the case may be.’
He banged on the side of the carriage. ‘Thomas! We must away at once to the nearest brothel. I seek scandal and low companionship.’” -- Will Herondale, Clockwork Angel
“Many atrocities have been done in the name of the greater good.” -- Rhysand, A Court of Mist and Fury
𝖇 𝖆 𝖘 𝖎 𝖈
NAME: Sirius Orion Black
NICKNAMES: Padfoot, Pads
AGE: 20
BIRTHDAY: 3 November 1959
GENDER: Demiboy, not that he has the word for that
PRONOUNS: he/they
𝖋 𝖆 𝖒 𝖎 𝖑 𝖞
MOTHER: Walburga Black ( 55 )
FATHER: Orion Black ( 51, deceased )
SIBLINGS: Regulus Arcturus Black ( 18, deceased )
𝖕 𝖍 𝖞 𝖘 𝖎 𝖈 𝖆 𝖑 𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖇𝖚𝖙𝖊𝖘
FACE CLAIM: Samuel Larsen
BUILD: Slim and muscular
HAIR: Shoulder length and thick, normally kept in a bun
HAIR COLOR: Black
EYE COLOR: Brown
SKIN COLOR: Pale
DOMINANT HAND: Right handed, teaching himself slowly to write with his left as well for the hell of it (note: the handwriting is still awful).
ANOMALIES: a scar on his upper right lip, ironically a small cluster of star-shaped birthmarks on his left hip (which he hates), a few old cigarette burns on his knees
SCENT: leather, old spice, barber shop hair gel, cigarette smoke, motor oil
ACCENT: British
ALLERGIES: slightly lactose intolerant
DISORDERS: Major depression, generalized anxiety, PTSD due to childhood trauma
FASHION: Punk rock baby, though probably a bit out of date compared to what muggles are wearing now. He took what he could get during school, and now there’s not enough time in the day to work, be in the Order, and go shopping.
NERVOUS TICS: His body becomes more tense, and his eyes dart around the room to search for an exit (or several if possible). He also subconsciously takes a step back from whatever is making him nervous, occasionally messes with his hair to try and act casual (though he does that when he’s bored as well, so it has to be seen with one of the others to be considered a sign of his nerves). If he’s particularly high strung, he’ll lose his nerve completely and lash out, no matter if it’s good or bad for the situation at hand.
QUIRKS: Like mentioned above, he messes with his hair a lot when he’s bored, usually pulling it out of its hair tie if up and vice versa if down. He paces when plotting, and purses his lips when he’s thinking considerably. When he’s particularly happy he’ll do a little jump, and he appears to be vibrating a little even afterward. When uncomfortable he’ll try to push that feeling off with either an argument or joke, again no matter whether one of those choices is the wisest at the time.
𝖑 𝖎 𝖋 𝖊 𝖘 𝖙 𝖞 𝖑 𝖊
RESIDES: Plainview Points Apartments
BORN: St. Mungo’s Hospital
RAISED: Grimmauld Place, London
PETS: n/a
CAREER: Auror-in-Training
EXPERIENCE: He was part of the Hogwarts dueling club for two years before being kicked out for unfair sportsmanship. He also got a considerate amount of training in magic from an early age thanks to his family, and his mother in particular taught him a bit of dark magic--or tried to. Not that he would use the dark magic, but if push came to shove... he has a few tricks up his sleeve (or, at the very least, the theory behind some of the darker magics).
EMPLOYER: Ministry of Magic
POLITICAL AFFILIATION: Order of the Phoenix
BELIEFS: Sirius, without a shadow of a doubt, believes that muggleborns and halfbloods deserve to be equal to purebloods. It took him years to believe he was allowed to have that thought process, but he grabbed onto it once he did. Despite the years of unlearning what his family tried to instill in him, it wasn’t all successful. He does still have a superiority complex, and most definitely thinks himself above squibs, muggles, house elves, and so on. It takes more effort for him to respect their opinions as equal to his own, and though he knows that’s wrong, it’s taking a lot longer than he’d like to unlearn that--if he ever can.
MISDEMEANORS: Illegal animagus, chase down with James on Elvendork, driving underage on an unregistered motorcycle, his entire list of detentions at Hogwarts
FELONIES: Nothing officially on record, so really he’s as innocent as it gets
DRUGS: n/a
SMOKES: Way too much to be healthy for his lungs
ALCOHOL: Not nearly as bad as his smoking habit
DIET: Generally unhealthy because he can’t be bothered to cook
LANGUAGES: English, Latin, Spanish, Italian, French, some German
PHOBIAS: Extremely loud noises, snakes, thunderstorms
HOBBIES: Causing general mischief, reading what he can get his hands on, doodling (albeit a bit crudely)
TRAITS:
{ + }: loyal, intelligent, observant, quick-witted, sociable
{ - }: angry, impulsive, insensitive, defiant, pessimistic
𝖋 𝖆 𝖛 𝖔 𝖗 𝖎 𝖙 𝖊 𝖘
LOCATION: Potter Estate, Prewett Household, Hogwarts
SPORTS TEAM: Tutshill Tornadoes
GAME: Wizard’s Chess
MUSIC: Punk Rock, Celestina Warbeck (not that he’d tell a soul)
MOVIES: Has hardly seen any, but is fond of action movies
FOOD: Thai
BEVERAGE: Whiskey or iced tea
COLOR: Dark green
𝖒 𝖆 𝖌 𝖎 𝖈
ALUMNI HOUSE: Gryffindor
WAND (length, flexibility, wood, & core): 8 3/4 inches, slightly bendy, yew, rougarou hair core
AMORTENTIA: honeysuckles, vanilla, cigarette smoke
PATRONUS: Dog
BOGGART: His parents standing over him shouting; recently with Regulus by their side asking why he had to die
𝖈 𝖍 𝖆 𝖗 𝖆 𝖈 𝖙 𝖊 𝖗
MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good
MBTI: ESTP-T
MBTI ROLE: The Entrepreneur
“ ESTPs are energetic thrillseekers who are at their best when putting out fires, whether literal or metaphorical. They bring a sense of dynamic energy to their interactions with others and the world around them. They assess situations quickly and move adeptly to respond to immediate problems with practical solutions. Active and playful, ESTPs are often the life of the party and have a good sense of humor. They use their keen powers of observation to assess their audience and adapt quickly to keep interactions exciting. Although they typically appear very social, they are rarely sensitive; the ESTP prefers to keep things fast-paced and silly rather than emotional or serious. “
ENNEAGRAM: Type 8
ENNEAGRAM ROLE: The Challenger
” People of this personality type are essentially unwilling to be controlled, either by others or by their circumstances; they fully intend to be masters of their fate. Eights are strong willed, decisive, practical, tough minded and energetic. They also tend to be domineering; their unwillingness to be controlled by others frequently manifests in the need to control others instead. When healthy, this tendency is kept under check, but the tendency is always there, nevertheless, and can assume a central role in the Eight's interpersonal relationships. ”
TEMPERAMENT: Choleric
“ The choleric temperament is fundamentally ambitious and leader-like. They have a lot of aggression, energy, and/or passion, and try to instill it in others. They can dominate people of other temperaments, especially phlegmatic types. Many great charismatic military and political figures were choleric. They like to be in charge of everything. However, cholerics also tend to be either highly disorganized or highly organized. They do not have in-between setups, only one extreme to another. As well as being leader-like and assertive, cholerics also fall into deep and sudden depression. Essentially, they are very much prone to mood swings. “
WESTERN ZODIAC: Scorpio
“ Passionate, independent, and unafraid to blaze their own trail no matter what others think, Scorpios make a statement wherever they go. They love debates, aren't afraid of controversy, and won't back down from a debate. They also hate people who aren't genuine, and are all about being authentic—even if authentic isn't pretty. Because of all of these traits, a Scorpio can seem intimidating and somewhat closed off to those who don't know them well. But what people don't realize is that even though Scorpio may seem brusque, as a water sign, they also are very in tune with their emotions, and sometimes may find themselves caught up in their feelings. This leads to Scorpio's central conflict: Their feelings are what drives them and strengthens them, but their mutability can scare them and make them feel vulnerable and out of control. Because of this conflict, Scorpios, like their namesake, the scorpion, put up an outer shell and may seem prickly. But once people get beyond the shell, they find a loyal, loving person whose passion knows no bounds. Scorpio dives into all life has to offer with 110% enthusiasm. A Scorpio will be your most loyal friend, most dedicated employee—and your worst enemy, if they want to be. “
CHINESE ZODIAC: Year of the Pig
“ Pig is mild and a lucky animal representing carefree fun, good fortune and wealth. Personality traits of the people born under the sign of the Pig are happy, easygoing, honest, trusting, educated, sincere and brave. The possible dark sides the Pig people are stubbornness, naive, over-reliant, self-indulgent, easy to anger and materialistic. They are sometimes regarded as being lazy. “
PRIMAL SIGN: Squid
“ Squids are powerful personalities that can only be ‘checked and balanced’ by themselves. They are highly capable, intelligent individuals who seem to know everything. Generally good natured, they also have a hidden inner dark side which resides deep within themselves. No one is allowed into this secret place, often not even themselves. Squids will even try to bury painful truths within themselves in order to avoid dealing with difficult emotions and situations. “
TAROT CARD: Justice, High Priestess
“ Justice and The High Priestess have in common that everything is accounted for. Justice examines everything for flaws in order to find its flawless essence. The High Priestess knows the secret of everything as it is in order to encompass everything. Justice demands of everything its true nature and essence, with nothing concealed, withheld or distorted. It tirelessly weighs and measures, satisfied with nothing less than the clear, the absolute, and the irreduceable in everything. Justice is adamant and uncompromising with its sword and scales, loud and clear in its redness, fearless and certain on its throne, guarding the entrance to the temple of the secrets of perfection. The High Priestess finds what is the same in everything, the secret unifying core hidden in the endless variation of detail. She patiently discovers in all differences what is true, original and undisturbed in everything. The High Priestess is accepting and inclusive with her scroll and cross, calm and quiet in her blueness, fearless and certain on her throne, guarding the entrance to the temple of final knowledge. Unintegrated and imperfectly realized, Justice can be given to rage and haste; it can become arrogant and hypercritical, aggrieved and vengeful, or uncertain and vacillating. The High Priestess can be a conceited know-it-all, moody and taciturn, secret and unapproachable; she can be despairing and lost, or given to excess and careless of consequences. Together, they dream of the perfect, the ultimate, and pursue it in more than one kind of undertaking. They continuously seek the truth, and in its service they are drawn to esoteric studies and unusual paths. “
TV TROPES: White Sheep, Jerk with a Heart of Gold, In the Blood, Hot-blooded, Good is Not Nice, Cultural Rebel, Badass Biker
SONGS: Gasoline, Halsey; The Future Freaks Me Out, Motion City Soundtrack; This is the End (For You My Friend), Anti-Flag; Hate Conquers All, Anti-Flag; Downtempo, Scouting for Girls;
IDEOLOGIES:
- Actively cuts out everyone who was part of his childhood unless they’ve somehow proven they can be trusted again; he avoids his family at all costs.
- The day he found out he was lactose intolerant, however mild, was a mournful day. He sulked about Hogwarts for about a week.
- Legitimately tried to swim to the bottom of the Black Lake and see the giant squid. Never succeeded.
- If you bring peanut butter anywhere near him he will chuck it across the room. He hates it.
- Genuinely enjoys being a dog more than a human sometimes. Yes, he’s aware of the irony.
- The only people allowed to make puns off of his name are James, Peter, Remus, Lily, and Marlene. He’ll get annoyed at anyone else who tries (also wise to avoid using the word serious around him for the above reason).
- Keeps telling himself he’ll quit smoking someday. The likelihood of that actually happening is about slim to none, RIP to Sirius’ lungs.
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