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deakyjoe · 1 year

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Somebody’s Watching Me Part 12

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader (“Sarge”, she/her, British, backstory)

Category: coworkers to friends to lovers with grumpy x sunshine dynamic/idiots in love

Summary: Can the two of you fix the damage that has been done? Or is it too late?

Warnings: angst, fluff, talks of injuries, British slang/terminology, strong language, mask is off

Word count: 1.4k (a baby in comparison to other parts)

A/N: Took a break from writing this series, mostly because I was burned out and had lots of uni work to be doing, but also because I needed time to think the ending through to give you all the best of what I’m capable of. It’s not as long as other parts but I feared that if I didn’t write it now then I would never write it. It’s pretty much where I always intended the story to go, just with a lot less conversation than originally planned. There will still be an epilogue after this but for now… enjoy!

When Ghost awoke, blinded by fluorescent hospital lights, and he saw Price standing at the foot of his bed with a deep-set frown... well, he knew things weren't good. It didn't help that you were nowhere to be seen. He didn't expect you to be fawning over him and nursing him back to health or anything. But no trace of you in the hospital room at all was not an encouraging sight.

"Am I dead?" Simon said gruffly, immediately coughing as his lungs clearly had something wrong with them.

Price scoffed. "You wish."

"Damn." He attempted to sit up straight, groaning when pain stabbed through his torso. "Ah, what the fuck?"

"I'd be careful if I were you. You were shot. Several times."

"Nothing new then." He sighed and looked at Price again, a grave look crossing his face. "Where is she?"

The captain hesitated for a moment before replying. "Home."

Shit, that definitely wasn't good.

"Why?" Simon didn't really want to know, too scared of the truth, but he needed to know.

"She was severely injured. Needed better medical attention than we could give her and then some time off once she recovers. She's home now but still in remission." Price checked his watch quickly, clearing his throat when he saw the time.

"Got somewhere to be?" Ghost asked, a sarcastic inflection in his voice.

The captain nodded. "Yes, actually. Already late from waiting for your lazy arse to wake up."

He only grunted in reply and waved his superior out of the room. "Go. I'll be fine.”

"You can go home to her once you've healed a bit more. For now, rest." And with that, Price walked out of the room leaving Simon in silence.

It was okay. He liked silence. Well, more he liked the lack of talking. People talked far too much about insignificant things. Strangely, he missed the sound of your voice chattering about insignificant things. He pushed that thought away and attempted to sleep for a while.

At home, in your flat, you were sick of friends coming over to visit you. Each one seemed to have some form of baked good or casserole and your refrigerator was full to the brim already. You hadn't even been home that long.

The sheer mass of people doting over you was becoming overwhelming in the most annoying way possible. You didn't need them constantly caring for you. Sure, the sentiment was nice enough but you were used to looking after yourself and healing independently. Usually you did it in the (un)comfort of a military hospital or medical tent. Unfortunately for you, you'd been sent home this time and had had no choice in informing your friends of your sudden return back. They just suddenly knew you were there and they were more than willing to help.

"I don't need you to give me a sponge bath." You'd told one with a roll of your eyes, still thinking about earlier in the day when you'd had to tell another that it was perfectly fine for you to drink apple juice and not stick to a strict diet of water.

Honestly, a part of you was enjoying being at home and having time to relax. Even though the cause of it was a little extreme, being able to sit on your sofa all day and watch reruns of old sitcoms as you made your way through every dish stacked in your fridge was nice. Almost... fun.

A part of you longed for something though. Simon. Obviously him. You craved to know how he was doing. When you'd first woken up, a nurse had simply told that he was alive and nothing else. Alive meant nothing. You didn't even know if his condition was stable.

You were worried, to say the least. And even Price wasn't willing to divulge any further information when you'd pressed him for it over the phone. He'd just mumbled something vague and moved on to asking you how you were doing.

It was frustrating. That was for sure.

The days passed and you grew restless, itching to get out of the house again. But you were sensible and followed the suggested instructions from the several doctors that had all agreed that you needed in order to heal properly. It was just a shame that it took so long to happen.

On day, what felt like, one billion of staying at home, there was a knock at the door. And after you'd taken a minute or two shuffling towards it, shouting out a stream of reassurances that you were on your way, you were utterly shocked to find your lieutenant on the doorstep.

Your mouth opened and closed a few times before a ridiculous sentiment left your mouth.

"Jesus, is this like those hallucinations you get just before dying?"

Simon said nothing, just the twitch of the corner of his mouth indicated that he had even heard you, and outstretched his fist to you.

In his hand, was an apple.

Specifically, one of the good apples from the farmers' market.

You looked up at him in confusion.

"Peace offering."

That explained it. So, you took it from him and opened the door wider to let him in. You weren't about to turn down a good apple or a peace offering.

Once you'd both settled yourselves into comfortable positions on the sofa, you wincing a few times and growing jealous that he seemed to have healed so quickly, you really took your time to look at him.

You tilted your head to the side and raked your eyes over him. "You're nervous."

"Am I?" His eyebrows raised a fraction.

"Yes." You nodded.

"How can you tell?"

"You scratch at the scars on your face when something is making you anxious."

"Hm." His eyes squinted at that observation, obviously not previously aware that he had that tell.

You moved on, not willing to dwell on that. "Why are you here?"

"Visiting an old friend."

You laughed sarcastically. "Oh, really?"

He shrugged, still as frustrating as ever. "You should've left me behind."

You'd be shocked if he hadn't been so self-sacrificial in previous times.

"Why would I do that?" You asked, lacing your voice with a mock innocent tone.

"Would've been the smart decision." He snapped.

So you shot right back. "Maybe I'm not smart."

"Yes, you are. You're just stubborn."

The words he'd once told you came tumbling out of your mouth. "A stubborn brat you mean?"

"That too."

You laughed again, shaking your head in disbelief. "You're right. I am stubborn. And I couldn't let you die. The idea of you... I can't stand it. So I let you live for selfish reasons. Alright?"

"You should have let me die."

"Shut up, Simon. That was never going to happen." You rolled your eyes at him and grit your teeth when a shooting pain stabbed through your side as you adjusted your position on the sofa.

Simon's hands raised for a second as if about to help you before he lowered them again.

Instead, he asked a question.

"Why not?"

You looked at him to see if he was being serious. He was.

"You know why."

"Maybe I don't."

You sighed. He was so difficult sometimes. Yet, you gave in.

"I..." You trailed off into thought.

But Simon wasn't going to let it go so easily. "You what?"

"I, y'know, I feel..." Your hands waved around as if hoping to grip a coherent answer from the air.

"Feel what?" The slight raise of an eyebrow hinted that he knew exactly what you wanted to say.

You sighed in defeat. "You know what I'm trying to get across here, Simon."

"I want to hear you say it."

"I feel for you. Have feelings. More than platonic. I... care... for you." You cringed at your own clumsiness, wondering when you'd lost your ability to fully communicate with words.

"I know."

You punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Cocky shit."

"I also care for you."

"I know." You scoffed teasingly.

He just repeated your words back to you. "Cocky shit."

The smiles that broke out across both of your faces were indescribable.

Yeah, the two of you were being slightly more awkward about this than usual but it was never going to be easy to just jump right back in to what you used to have. Smaller steps would have to be taken. And you were fine with that. As was he. You’d get there eventually, it was only a matter of time. After all, some things were just meant to happen.

A/N: Thank you all so much for sticking with me through my hiatus! I’m sorry this is a quick resolution but the epilogue is still on the way.

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snootlestheangel · 18 days

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This idea I've had all day but haven't had the chance to sit down and really write out

Retired Military!Ghost x Cannibal!Soap

Ghost's last assignment led to a pretty rough mental breakdown, and the higher-ups pulled the plug on "Ghost" and benched Simon Riley permanently

Nothing Price or Laswell could do would fix this

But he can't sit still. He ends up traveling a lot, and it's how he ends up in some old bar in a small town in the Scottish Highlands.

It's how he meets a very attractive stranger, all deep voiced and smooth talking.

Normally, Simon isn't one for hook-ups, but it's his retirement and he figures he should enjoy himself while the opportunity presents itself. Besides, this man, apparently called "John" is very attractive, and Simon finds himself enjoying the way the man's hands feel on his waist, the way his stubble scratches his neck as the man whispers downright filthy things into his ear.

"Ahm gonna eat yah right up" shouldn't be as... enticing as it is to Ghost, as something about the way the man growled it should have been a red flag.

Another red flag should have been how quick the man was to offer they head back to his place. But Simon figured it didn't matter, and it was certainly cheaper than finding a motel at this time of night for a reasonable price just to get laid.

Another red flag was the fact the man was practically a recluse, living deep in the mountains in a quaint little place. But, again, Simon didn't mind. He figured, that despite how well built the man was and despite not having the upper hand here, he'd still be able to easily defend himself should the worst arise. He is Ghost after all, retirement be damned.

And the man is good in bed. He's got Simon on his back, practically whimpering, as he bites and kisses all over Ghost's body. He's pinching the fat along his stomach, nipping at the stretch marks along his hips, thighs, and pecs, sucking hickeys into the fat of his arms. Simon feels like he's being eaten alive, but by god is it addicting.

Soap, meanwhile, isn't a human only diet type of cannibal. It's more of a guilty pleasure, going to the nearby bar and picking off an unsuspecting tourist that fits the physique he knows makes for a good meal, and can last the course of several meals.

He hadn't even planned on bringing anyone home that night. Certainly not to eat, and certainly not for sex.

But when he saw the absolute unit that is Simon Riley walk in and take a seat at the bar, he knew he just had to sink his teeth into that man's biceps.

But he finds himself struggling to commit to the idea of killing and eating this man. He craves it, so desperately, as he bites and kisses along the man's stomach. He feels perfect, and Soap so desperately wants to taste him in the most literal sense.

But he just can't

The obscene noises he's making under Soap's tongue, teeth, and hands are noises he's finding himself addicted to.

Besides, he knows he's not winning that fight as long as the man is conscious.

Anyways I don't know where this would go but yeah. That's the idea. It's been rotting my brain all day and I needed to get it out :)

#simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #ghostsoap #horror drabble #cod au #tw cannibalism

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cyborg-squid · 4 months

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god the thing that's fucking me up the most about Nona the Ninth is. class traitor Griddle Kiriona. like i guess it makes sense, from the beginning, while she was never into the Ninth House, she was very into the Cohort and the Empire, the idea of military service being her only distraction from the living hell that was Drearburh. and then her sacrifice at the end of GtN, she's been fed military propaganda all her life, of course she figures the only thing to do at the end of the line is a heroic self-sacrifice. Not what John planned all along for Lyctorhood but it certainly helps to, he'd wanted the Canaan House trials to have a bit more in the way of 'informed consent' (he did used to be a scientist, after all) but imagine if you've got a half dozen cavaliers, having been fed a steady diet of military propaganda, saying "Anything for you, my midnight hagette!" and feeding themselves to their necros, and boom you've got 8 or so new Lyctors!

jumping back to Gideon, she's hurt when Harrow refuses to fully eat her, that Harrow lobotomizes herself to avoid doing so, not understanding that Harrow is refusing to buy into that idea of sacrifice and consumption as love, that (as illustrated by Pal and Cam) devotion alone is enough. it can't just be one, it can't just be the other, it has to be synthesis, something that nary a necromancer before had attained (with John intervening when they were about to).

and then God tells Gideon that, yeah she was right all along, she was someone special even back on Drearburh, she's the most special anyone could ever be, she's God's favorite princess. his literal child. and then she's thrown into an endless frontline battle, whatever's going on Antioch.

i forget where i was going with this but. ouuugh. Gideon why. okay i do get why. but please don't.

#the locked tomb #my posts #nona the ninth

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http-paprika · 6 months

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Bite the Hand / Phillip Graves

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part four - belonging ⋆★⋆ the masterlist ⋆★⋆ previous ⋆★⋆ next

summary preparing to deploy on her first mission with the shadow company, frost begins to grow overwhelmed by the shift in her feelings.

werewolf!au / pairing phillip graves x female!reader / callsign frost / wc 1715 / warnings mentions of past trauma, alcohol, and light swearing

notes well, after weeks of painful writer's block, here we are! this chapter is what really sets the gears in motion to fling together frost and graves along with diving a bit more into frost's past which will play a big part in her relationship with graves. also, i don't know anything about military planes and deployments, so, this is definitely inaccurate, but i tried. the taglist is still open, if you want to be added, let me know.

The Shadow Company armory, as Frost had come to learn, was always uncomfortably warm. She stood, shifting her weight from one foot to another as Erikson dug around the boxes of unassigned tactical vests and gear to find something that would properly fit her. During her training, she’d been in ill-fitting gear that she had to suffer with, but now as Graves and Lerch had greenlit her for her first mission, Frost needed to be properly fitted.

“And you’re sure that last vest didn’t fit?” Erikson asked her again, Frost looked over at the growing pile of discards, shaking her head.

“It’s not my fault I’m not as beefy as the rest of you.” She shrugged, wiping some of the collected sweat off her brow. Even with how much she’d been shifting in the past months, Frost didn’t compare to them.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Finally, he stopped digging. “Here we go, this should do.” Erikson handed over a dark green vest, slightly worn on the edges but otherwise unused. Without even trying it on, Frost knew it would fit. “I’ll talk to Rodgers, and get a new set of gear ordered for you. But for now, that’ll do.”

As she pulled it on, Frost examined the blood-type patch that sat right over her heart, it would have to be replaced to fit her own. “So, who did this belong to?”

“Some corpse probably.” Erikson darkly joked, observing as she secured the vest and its various buckles and velcro before moving onto the gloves, and padding. “Very nice, one would think this was made just for you.”

She smirked, pulling the gear off and brushing off the dust. “Whatever you say, Erikson.” Surveying the vest fully, she spotted sloppy writing on the inside, indicating the soldier it belonged to, but the writing had mostly been smudged away, and she decided against asking and not wanting her curiosity to bring back grief. Whoever it had belonged to, as Erikson had said, was long gone.

“How are you feeling, about finally being shipped out?” He asked, leading her to a free locker where she’d store the gear until the following morning when they would embark on the mission.

“Strange. Unsure. But, I’m ready to be back in combat. Even if things here aren’t the same as they were in the Marines. There’s a lot less of a moral code I’m being held to, less guilt if I fuck up.” Frost admitted, putting everything up and closing the locker. In some ways, that made her even more nauseous, she wondered how wild she could be before Graves stepped in and scolded her.

“Just don’t plan on being reckless, and you’ll be fine,” Erikson assured her, patting her on the shoulder. “Now, let’s get out of here before I sweat my entire ass off.”

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Under the red lights in the plane, the only way Frost could describe how she felt was antsy. The mask secured over her face felt like a muzzle, like an attempt to keep her from snapping. It kept her canines, which grew sharper by the day from shifting and the new diet of fresh, hot game meat, from showing. There would be no barring of her teeth today, even if she wanted to.

“You okay?” Graves asked, stopping in front of her. He’d been moving through the plane, making sure his soldiers were ready to deploy, that the radios were live, and everyone was in place for the hunt.

“Yeah, m’fine.” She promised him, but Graves shook his head with a displeased look. He’d become too familiar with her facial expressions and the way her voice strained when she tried to hide the truth. But Graves was too kind to Frost to push for the truth.

“You look good,” He commented, quickly finishing the sentence when she cocked an eyebrow up at him. “-In the Shadow Company uniform and wearing our insignia. Like it was made just for you.” She nodded in response, quieter than usual. It wasn’t the normal anxiety Frost had first felt when she entered combat years ago. No, it was something she couldn’t quite put words to, a fear that settled when she looked back up at her Commander or over at her packmates who chatted amongst themselves quietly.

“Frost, you’re gonna be just fine out there. I’ll be right there—“ He taps the radio strapped to her tactical vest. “If you need me. Just a call away.”

“Let’s hope I don’t.” Frost joked, trying to ease her unknown stress. At her feet, the case with her sniper sat, reminding her that she was the eyes for her teammates, they’d rely on her shots and calls to keep them guarded, and safe. A daunting task. She’d done it hundreds of times, but the edge of nerves would not cease.

“What’s going on in that loud mind of yours?” Graves tilted his head slightly, a few locks of sandy hair obstructing his direct and piercing gaze. Frost quickly looked down at the gun lying across her lap, trying to find an answer that made sense of everything she felt. Loyalty, bonded, brothers, her borrowed vest, sisters, the feel of her gloves against her palms, the pack, the smell of pine needles, pale blue eyes, and Graves.

As she opened her mouth to speak, Frost quickly closed it, overwhelmed by the words and emotions that filled her. She’d never known how much she craved a place to call her own and surrounded by the Shadow Company pack, she had. A bundle of warmth settled in the pit of her stomach, filling the hole that she’d blinded herself to.

Graves didn’t speak, he just tilted his head again in a way that fully captured her attention. “Well, when the cat finally lets go of your tongue, you always know how to find me.” He told her, a quick pat on her shoulder before he stepped away to speak to Lerch. Her eyes followed his figure, it was the only thing she seemed to focus on, not the countdown to her deployment or the itch in her hands. Just Phillip Graves.

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Hidden in the thicket of the woods, her breathing was masked by the loud calling of crows. The pungent smell of whiskey and motor oil overpowered anything else. She didn’t know where he was, she couldn’t hear him through the trees, but she knew he was coming after her.

“Don’t hide from me, girl. I am your father!” He barked loudly, the butcher knife in his hand still coated with sheep’s blood, his white apron stained red. The thirteen-year-old girl felt hysteric, on the verge of tears with the fear of what he’d do to her. She hadn’t meant to talk back to him, speaking before thinking. But her remark had invoked his wrath. “I can smell you, girl. A runt like you can’t hide from me, your stench is all over these woods.”

The words hailed down on her like nails pounded into her bones, catching her off guard and unalert for when he finally found her and yanked her out of the indigo bush by her forearm. She screamed, the sound curdling into a howl. Her body convulsed, bones being broken and reformed, the skin stretched and hair grew, teeth gnashing as she tried to free herself from his grasp.

That was the first time she ever shifted.

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Frost woke with a start, the sound of the landing gears and loss of altitude dragged her out of her slumber, ears popped in the descent. Stretching, she moved away from whoever’s shoulder it was she had fallen asleep on, her cheek indicted from the shoulder of the tactical vest, she tried to push back the memory that had invaded her mind. She didn’t like to remember how it all began, when she was younger she used to dream it had never happened, hating that she was her father’s daughter. In his eyes, she didn’t belong, even if she had the same noise and sharp tongue.

But she was no longer seen as her father’s daughter. The Shadow Company had become the only pack she would align herself with. There, she belonged.

“Thought you would sleep the whole time.” Dipaolo chuckled across from her as Frost brushed the hair out of her face. She’d shed the mask and gloves before falling asleep, allowing herself to freely be. “Surprised Graves let you.”

Almost launching herself out of her seat, Frost looked over at Graves who sat next to her. He didn’t give any indication that he cared, whether that was a good thing or not, Frost was unsure. “She did a hell of a good job out there, Dipaolo. Maybe next time if you do a fraction of the work Frost did, I’ll let you sleep on my shoulder.”

“Favoritism! I’ve been here for three years and you already like Frost more!” Dipaolo gawked. “It’s because she’s a woman, isn’t it?”

“Stop getting pissy, Dipaolo. She’s just better.” Vance tells him, cutting into the conversation. The attention was directed away from Frost as her teammates bickered back and forth, allowing her to bury her face in her hands with embarrassment, a groan escaping her lips.

“Frost, there’s no need to act embarrassed. We’re a pack, we help each other out. Even if it means offering a shoulder to sleep on.” Graves said to her quietly as the plane jolted, touching the tarmac. “You are hardly the first person who’s accidentally fallen asleep on mine. And unlike Oz, you don’t talk in your sleep. So I don’t mind.”

“Why does that not surprise me?” But even with his reassurance, her cheeks felt hot, a rosy shade that was hidden in the dim light of the plane. It was like an itch she couldn’t ignore. It was a feeling that Frost hadn’t felt in years, one that had once suffocated her and torn her to shreds.

But everything was different this time, she wasn’t that same scared girl. And Phillip Graves was like nothing she had ever known.

taglist @iamcautiouslyoptimistic @delusionally-loveless-by-choice @bacon-sandwich-of-dionysus @anna-banana27 @unicorngirly1

#call of duty #cod mw22 #fanfic #phillip graves cod #phillip graves #phillip graves x reader #call of duty werewolves #call of duty!werewolf au #phillip graves werewolf!au #phillip graves x you #bite the hand series #bite the hand series updates #call of duty mw3 #call of duty modern warfare #shadow company #shadow company werewolf!au

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senjuushi · 3 months

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Ow… what about a Master who takes offence to the awful food and insists on cooking for their gun? (Your choice which ones, my favorite is Charleville!)

The original food headcanon post, for context!

. . .

Charleville

Though the apparent spoiling doesn't make sense, at first, Charleville is still visibly delighted by every meal you prepare for him. He's grateful, almost excessively so, and always has plenty of heartfelt thanks and compliments in return for your effort. When he starts gaining a noticeable amount of weight, however, that's a cause for worry. You haven't said anything about it, but he hasn't forgotten his previous Master's standards for staying appealing.

89.

The home-cooked meals are a massive upgrade to 89's usual diet, which manages to be even worse than the standard military fare thanks to his tendency to resort to pre-packaged, shelf-stable junk whenever he has the chance. What you're offering feels way too good for a mere weapon... but feeling like someone cares, for once, erodes any common sense that might make him try to refuse. It never gets less awkward or embarrassing to be doted on like this, but 89 likes the attention way too much to fight it for long.

Ghost

He's used to being outright forgotten on meal schedules with unfortunate regularity, so having someone go out of their way to personally make sure he's fed is a downright overwhelming amount of attention, by Ghost's standards— and that person being Master makes it even worse. He's torn between treasuring every blessed meal he's given and worrying himself sick over just how much of your time is ending up wasted on a stupid prototype like this.

Siegblut

He starts out suspicious of why you're trying to do something so... weirdly nice. There's no reason to be spoiling him like this, so you must be planning some kind of nasty trick, right? Siegblut's defenses fall apart much faster if you let him in the kitchen with you, however— both indulging his cooking hobby and giving him even scraps of (much-desired) respect go a long way to make him open up to you, and eventually accept your meals as "safe".

Ninety

Food is truly the way to Ninety's heart— and offering regular meals earns his utter adoration. You're a kind, kind Master who not only wants to feed him, but goes so far as to make the food yourself just so it's up to your standards. Ninety doesn't know how he's ever supposed to repay you for it, but he'll do his best to be good! Keeping him fed builds a lot of trust, so you'll have a loyal, clingy puppy all but glued to your side now that he's gotten attached.

#Senjuushi #千銃士 #Charleville #89 #Ghost #Siegblut #Ninety #Headcanon #Reader

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toshiitea · 2 months

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This isnt super new but i forgot to share a quick rim lighting test of a togruta oc who doesnt have a name yet however he has a bit of lore

So l imagine to feed the empire it takes a lot consideration,, and ofc they want “the best” for their personell. My lil guy is a head scientist for the food science division. He modifies foods/plants/drinks to be nutritious as it can be for troopers and above, he comes up with diet plans as well.

He's basically a glorified evil farmer who picks food for ppl to eat

SO, while he does the best for the empire, they also bring him seeds and plants and such to modify and make things not good for the body. He modifies things poison (ish) a planet's ecosystem and a community's livelihood. Then the empire swoops in and provides.. Then bam, Colonization!

He is also a personal physician and nutritionist for officials.

Fun fact he has four lekku! 2 in the front and 2 in the back. He was spared and taken in by the empire as a baby because it.

He grew up in the lab and on military bases his entire life and knows nothing else, however he knows hes lucky and lives a comfortable life. So he’s scared venture out or question the ethics of what he does. Its no use.

And yeah thats all!!

#star wars #star wars oc #art #digital art #oc #original character #oc art #togruta oc #toshii’s sw art #empire oc

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777-maple · 3 months

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90 Days of Manifesting My S/P (success?)

I am embarking on a 90-day Affirmation Tape Experiment to manifest my S/P after two years of trying. I am grateful for the journey's duration; it brought invaluable insights into myself, love, and the art of manifestation. After four months of no contact, I focused on self-concept, and now, we're back in touch, although there are some current "blockages" to navigate.

- There are only six months until he plans to go into the military.

- I am manifesting him NOT going into the military and just getting his EMT certificate.

- He goes to school and works, so there is not much time to talk.

- I am manifesting that he texts me every day, and we see each other every weekend.

In the past, subliminals were my go-to, but I transitioned to various manifestation methods and manifested plenty. With my S/P, everything was hot and cold because of my inconsistency. I am rediscovering the efficiency of overnight tapes.

I am committing to nightly loops of six affirmations for three months, with updates every two weeks (but also just whenever I want).

- [S/P] and I have the perfect relationship.

- It is so easy to manifest [S/P] because I am a master at manifesting people.

- It was so easy to manifest [S/P] being a whole new person.

- I manifested [S/P] so quickly.

- I have always been wanted, desired, and irresistible.

- I have always been magnetic, unforgettable, and irreplaceable.

- I always manifest quickly, no matter the circumstances.

Day 3, visible changes are not here, but I am committed to this challenge. Also, why didn’t I try this earlier? I did; however, the affirmations messed up my sleep. How did I fix these sleep challenges? I devised a new method: ambiance on a timer for three hours, smoothly transitioning to affirmations while asleep.

Day 6, I can tell my resistance is way less today, I have the tape playing continuously from when I arrive home to waking up, excluding social times. I have been noticing a pattern with my wavering thoughts. Instead of thinking the stereotypical “this won't work,” I often face thoughts like “I need to do more for this to work.” I found myself thinking that I should affirm for 30 minutes a day for specifics; I stopped this thought because if we have a perfect relationship, he would already be doing these things, and I wouldn’t be thinking about specifics like this. In general, I have been watching my thoughts and keeping that mental diet. I have also been finding myself affirming automatically throughout the day, but I am not trying to force it because I do have that limiting belief of not doing enough, and I need to show myself that affirmation tapes are the ONLY THING I need to manifest. I have considered the possibility of listening 24/7 during winter break, but I do not want to face burnout like I have in the past while trying similar challenges. I am just committing to nightly listening for 90 days. I have realized past failures in manifestation challenges; I am determined to break the cycle. I’m planning on reaching out on Dec 21st (it is currently Dec 13th) because then he will be off break, but for now, I am committing to the tape and living in the end. Stay tuned for updates.

Day 9, he texted me first 😱 and called me; I had the tape on; however, I wasn’t paying attention, doing laundry and watching Suits.

Day 10, he texted me first again. Literally so in love with me. Only day 10, wtf.

Day 11, he was going to come over, but he got food poisoning, so he just called me, and we spoke for a few hours. He keeps texting me first like nonstop.

Day 13, no contact today; on delivered. Reminding myself it’s part of the bridge of events. Tarot cards advise patience. Planning to text on Christmas if no contact by Friday. Keeping a hopeful mindset.

Day 14, feeling insecure, but committed to listening for 90 days. Recognizing past patterns of worrying and waiting for things to work out. Living in the end.

Day 15, a confidence dip; can’t stop thinking about him. I’m concerned about cycles repeating. Putting away tarot cards to avoid uncertainties. Prioritizing gaining confidence again.

Day 16, more confident, realizing I don’t need to do more to manifest. Reminding myself of the promise not to affirm during the day. Embracing the belief that everything will be perfect by day 90. Standing firm and focusing on the journey.

Day 18? Had a really cute dream about him and me being together. I have been tackling those limiting beliefs and opposing thoughts fr 💪. Christmas is tomorrow.

Day 21 had another really cute dream about him.

Day 22, I can feel my mind and my limiting beliefs purging; I have this belief that negative thoughts and feelings always tend to be a big sign that something is about to manifest. This is what I wrote in one of my posts once, “Everything only has meaning if you give it meaning. After observing the process of manifesting something new multiple times, I've noticed I often hit a sort of rock bottom. In the beginning, it involved a few days of confidence followed by uncertainty and worry. But persisting through it always led to improvement and successful manifestation. I've learned to assign a new meaning to these tough days – they're a massive sign that what I'm doing is imprinting on my subconscious. It's like my subconscious is "fighting back" against this foreign idea, but if I persist, it'll absorb and manifest. The resistance might show up as opposing dreams, intrusive thoughts, or even the opposite appearing in the 3D. Take it as a sign that after persisting, your subconscious will be impressed and manifest. Just stand firm during this time. Stand on business.” I almost had a mental breakdown, but I just sat down and affirmed out loud for maybe 10 minutes till I was feeling better, then I reminded myself of this. I often feel the worse mentally right before I manifest something, and when I persist and make it through this “purge,” the desire is right around the corner. This may be a limiting belief; however, I know that with time and practice, being able to ignore these feelings will come even easier.

Day 23 feeling hella confident again 😮‍💨

Day 25: He texted me first this morning, New Year's Day, nonstop flirting. I go back to school in 2 days. For the past 4 days or so, I've been using the 4v1 method, “I maintain a mental diet by monitoring my thoughts throughout the day. If a negative thought contradicts what I'm manifesting, I stop myself and affirm the positive opposite four times”—definitely helping.

Day 28, Jan 4th: Okay, so we reached 28 days, and whoa. I never expected anything to happen this quickly; I thought I'd get to day 90 with maybe a text. I feel like I've learned a lot about manifesting in these past 4 weeks; I've got discipline under control. I'm doing well with a mental diet. This is the only method I've stuck to for more than 3 weeks. In an earlier draft, I wrote about how I always struggled to get past week three, and you can see that I started to face some struggles around there. However, those doubts I expressed barely impacted my manifestation. For the past 3 days, he and I have been talking a lot. He has been calling me things like "hun," saying stuff like “I'd love to… I'd love that” (using the word love towards me), and just last night made a “joke” about us being romantic. I never expected all of this to happen in less than a month. I am living in that end. He is treating me like a princess. And we should be seeing each other this weekend. As long as he doesn’t get food poisoning again, lol. I don't know what happened during those days we weren’t speaking, but you just have to remember that those are the bridges of events, and you need to trust where you are headed. I will continue to update; just know things are going well.

Day 30: He left me on opened, but I’m staying optimistic. I think it’s because I've been feeling kinda weird these past two days, and I found it kinda weird how much he has been texting me. Just negative thoughts, but it’s okay.

Day 31: He texted me; we’re good.

Day 36: We have been speaking every single day; he has been calling me so frequently. He compliments me, tells me so many sweet things. He’s coming over on the 26th (it's the 12th today), and we plan on going out before the 26th just to see each other because we haven’t been face to face in months. My plan after this is to create a general tape to listen to for the rest of the year.

Day 40: Things are going fine, still texting every day. I'm adding a new affirmation to the tape [S/P] calls me every single night, and he is always so excited to talk to me. Just because this is the one thing about our relationship I want to change. He’s only called me like 3 times in the past 2 weeks. I should be seeing him this weekend, but I don't know; we haven’t really discussed it.

Day 43, Jan 19th: We haven’t spoken these past 2 days; he’s been stressed, I guess. But I am still making more progress over the past 40 days than in 2 years. I am just hoping we are together by the 90th day, and I may add something to my routine; I decided to have two tapes going at once for the next 47 days. This next tape will have affirmations addressing the problems I have seen with this tape; however, I am keeping the original tape, just 2 at once, you know. And the subconscious is smart; if it hears two affirmations layered, it's not gonna get confused. The new affirmations: - [SP] always treats me like a princess. - [SP] calls me every single night; he texts me “good morning” every single day, and he puts effort into seeing me every single weekend. - [SP] puts effort into our relationship; he is always showing me how much he loves me, and he is always very excited to talk to me. - Everything about me and [SP]’s relationship is consistent and exciting. - [SP] asked me to be his girlfriend in the most perfect way. - I always manifest in 3 days or less. What are the problems I have been seeing? Consistency and getting bored of each other. And when I get bored, I start doubting, then it manifests in the 3D. I 100% believe this is the reason for all the on and off silence over the past 43 days. Yet I would say that for half of the 43 days, we have been speaking, so honestly that is a win. I am just amazed by all the progress.

Day 53: We haven’t spoken in 4 days because I left him on open, and I was kinda mad at him. We were gonna go out on the 26th; it’s currently the 29th, but he said his leg hurts too much, and he's still stressed (he injured his leg a few weeks ago, and he has a boot on). I have sort of been spiraling these past few days. I found myself going into old patterns like I used to before. At the beginning of these 90 days, I told myself that I would not affirm throughout the day, that I would just rely on the affirmation tape. I think I started to freak out about time a bit considering I only have 40ish days left of this challenge, and I was scared that I would fail and disappoint myself. But no matter what, I am manifesting this guy, even if it takes a little bit longer, and I am so close to extending the time just to relax myself. So this is now the 120-day challenge instead lol. Just kidding but maybe just to calm me down. I feel like I failed just a little bit. I entertained some negative thoughts which obviously manifested him away. I think I just got attached to him and the 3D. Anyways, from this point forward, I will only be using 1v4 to affirm, no more affirming 24/7. However, I have been trying this new mini experiment since last night. I could never visualize to sleep or affirm to sleep; however, I discovered that if I think my affirmation slowly and align it with my breathing, I can fall asleep that way. This will just be a mini experiment. I will still be using both tapes, just because I think those extra affirmations are needed. I feel like these past few days I have been doing too much to save my feelings. I fell into the old habit of “if I affirm a lot, I will manifest quicker,” which never worked for me. I fell into the old habits of “needing to do more” instead of just trusting. Now I am reminding myself that I don’t need to do more, that this is a part of the bridge of events. There is nothing I need to fix, nothing I need to do, my desire is here.

Day 54, I had a dream last night where he confessed his feelings to me. I don’t remember exactly but it was like “I really like you, I can’t stop telling my friends about you” and other stuff. The affirmation I have been repeating to bed is “S/P asked me to be his girlfriend”

Day 73? Feb 19th, I haven't updated in a while; I sort of went on a spiral and could not, for the life of me, get out of it. However, on Feb 17th, I sent him a memory from 2 years ago, and we spent all of yesterday talking. We were on the phone for approximately 6 hours straight. He told me that he is feral for me; we talked a bit about our relationship, and he definitely loves me—I can just tell. I think we may actually be hanging out soon; it’s just scheduling with work and school. On to the manifestation stuff, I am still listening every night, but during these past few weeks, my confidence in it has dwindled. I am mostly relying on my mental diet now. I may just start affirming more so that I can really keep my mental diet up. I don't know; things are going really well between the two of us; I'm not worried.

Conclusions: I decided to "give up" on this challenge here. I learned a whole lot about manifesting; however, I do not think this is beneficial for me anymore. Remember when I said I couldn’t ever get past 3 weeks? Well, I definitely made it past 3 weeks now. I am starting a new challenge to finish things off. I learned discipline like crazy, which was something I could never do. I saw physical proof of manifestation multiple times over 75 days. I understand the importance of a mental diet so much more now. Trust me; I am not giving up, and I am providing this resource to people so they can understand that the process is sometimes not a straight line, and these experiences are crazy normal, especially if you’re new to manifesting. One last thing: some people can say it is sad I didn’t get him in 90 days; however, I broke through so many limiting beliefs. I completely changed him as a person, and this is the most success I've had with him in 2 whole years. So I am pretty happy for myself.

#manifesation #loassumption #manifestation #manifesting #affirmations #self concept #law of assumption

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roo-bastmoon · 1 year

Text

Just a little reminder that since coming home from a crazy amount of Jikookery in Vegas in April, we've had:

--waiting deliberately to ride home from the airport in a car together

--JK singing With You on his vlog

--Jikook giggling and holding hands in the dark at Hobi's party

--JK accepting Kookmin Are Dating and Jimin's Little Finger into his In the Seom circle even though they had fewer experience points

--JK's tattoo artist inking JM and JK on his own arm

--cute interactions at awards shows and changed lyrics for June performances

--JK's brother liking Jikook + Bam family fan art

--Jimin giggling and chasing JK over eating ramen (knowing about his gluten intolerance before it was public)

--JK flirting in the car while sucking on corn ice cream

--JK smacking the hell out of Jimin's ass and doing couples flying yoga

--Jimin coming to visit JK in the dead of night for his birthday, bringing his own cake, snapping that intimate photo, posting on WeVerse two days in a row despite the fact he was also working in the studio that whole time

--Jimin's dad posting a photo of JK's old beloved dog on his birthday

--what sounds like Jimin's giggles in the background on JK's birthday live with Jin

--what sounds like JK whispering "JIMIN!" twice during Jimin's birthday live

--JK's birthday thirst trap for Jimin--which he posted on WeVerse specifically for Jimin, having not been on that platform himself in years

--The Busan live where JK looks on adoringly while Jimin slurps noodles

--JK offering up the story of his mom making seaweed soup just for Jimin which is culturally SIGNIFICANT

--Jimin razzing the shit out of JK for "Jungkook Marry Me"

--Jimin inviting JK to feast after the Busan live

--JK saying twice that he'll join Jimin on a live soon if he has time

--JK posting their special numbers on his selfie in Qatar

--Jimin posting about how cool JK's World Cup performance was.

Now look, they've both been busy with work and travel. What raises doubts about if Jikook are still close is the fact that JK goes out (seemingly mostly alone) to so many meat restaurants. I saw one video of him joining another person outside, but it was too shaky to make out much of anything. The coat and jeans looked similar to what Jimin wore to the airport for NYC, but I can't say that with any certainty so please take that with a grain of salt.

After 10 years of having every second of his life scheduled and strict diets, GOOD FOR JK. A restaurant tour of Korea while Jimin is holed up in the studio is a lovely idea, especially since it seems he's not super into cooking for himself.

Here's where fandom gets sticky.

JK also went bowling with Tae and friends, and did a TikTok dance challenge with Taehyung, who mentioned JK frequently before Taehyung went to Paris. Seems like there were plans for them to do a gaming live similar to Jin's but time didn't allow for it.

There's also unsubstantiated rumors of them going skiing this week with other people. You know, friendship things. Positive, healthy, harmless things you do with friends when you are young. It definitely suggests closeness, but not necessarily sexy times? People made a lot of assumptions that JK came right from the airport and spent the night in a luxury villa with Taehyung, but, actually, Taehyung is friends with the owners, and JK's pants are different than what he wore at the airport, and it could have been filmed at dusk, not dawn. Maybe they just, ya know, wanted to do a cool TikTok vid since their versions weren't included on the official choreo version Hobi posted.

What worries some folks is that there's no evidence of Jikook even doing friendship things since Vegas. Which, again, PJM1 is consuming Jimin's time... Plus also remember that whole traumatizing few months of mail tampering, doxxing, scandal in the press overshadowing Jimin's unpromoted OST, governmental manipulation over the Expo, stocks tanking, and military enlistment, plus rampant hate online and sometimes even death threats?

Those are all really good reasons to not share one's personal life or hint at a closeted homosexual relationship. Even under the cover of friendship and group outings, Jimin just may be sick of the scrutiny. He's not been going out with ANYONE.

And yes, it's fair to say that Jikook normally are always together and never really hid that before. I mean, there is an ENTIRE POP UP MUSEUM DEDICATED TO ALL THEIR INTERACTIONS. No other members have anything like it.

But 2022 is unlike any other year they've had before either.

Also something to think about: Jimin once recently mentioned that he and Taehyung Facetime each other practically every day. (It was during the live when he shared that Taehyung was the one who inspired Jimin's moon tattoos based on fan art he showed Jimin.) Think about that Vmin hug on the Busan stage--it was a chef's kiss. Just this week, Jimin insisted on a selca with Tae and Jin on his own phone.

We can assume their friendship is rock solid, but we rarely see much evidence of them interacting in their off time. In fact I cannot think of the last time Jimin and Taehyung hung out in person when not for a work thing. I can't imagine they are faking affection or bed hoping with JK. I don't require proof of them doing things together to think their friendship is real.

Maybe we could do the same for Jikook? Even if they don't post a selca this year? Yeah, it's a bummer, but it's not divorce papers, y'all.

Can I say for sure Jikook dated / are still dating? NO. I can't say that about any point in their relationship, actually. But I keep reminding myself to be patient, wait things out, because more always comes out.

There's all these little things, like JK knowing that Jimin won't be drinking champagne, but having no idea that Taehyung had given up alcohol for two months.

Clues always come out eventually.

I'll be so curious to see what happens after PJM1 drops. Will Jimin do very little promo, like with his OST? Will there be multiple videos, with choreo? Will his members be silent about this work too? Will he have more free time and thus poke his head up more? Or will he continue to be a lil ninja? I dunno. I'll be supporting him no matter what.

And even if his members don't publicly hype him up, I won't just assume that means they are jealous or don't care about him. Like Jin said: "Post, it's good. No post, it's still good." Will I be a bit unnerved? Honestly, yeah. But Jimin knows Jimin's situation best.

The honest truth is this: none of us KNOW what's going on with any of the members' relationships except the members. And that's how it should be because that's their business. They only owe us good music and dance performances. The rest is icing on the cake.

It's totally okay if you believe this is just one of those dry spells Jikook has over the years. It's valid if you think they broke up and are just being good friends and coworkers at a distance. If your gut is telling you Taekook is now real, I can't say I agree with you, but I'll never come into your spaces and argue with you.

It's up to you to seek out reliable sources of info and then make your own judgement call, if you feel if you have enough data. This isn't a cult. You are not required to "keep the faith" about anything.

Two months ago, Jikook were Jikooking like always. Now Jimin is quiet (except to tell us to keep warm and not get sick, bless his heart). And Jungkook and Taehyung are showing us they hang out (as they have done in the past--restaurants, gaming, trips with Wooga--though perhaps now they are doing it a bit more than when they all had an OT7 schedule).

And so the silence from Jikook and the hanging out from Taekook has the cult all whipped up and Jikookers feeling unsettled. I get it. It's normal to feel your feels. But also be sure to math your math.

Me? I honestly have no clue what's going on. I still feel like we're seeing so little of the full picture, it would be wise to withhold judgement quite yet. I tell myself: Be patient. Trust the members. There are things they can't tell us, but if we trust their words, that would be good.

In the meantime, please stream and vote and buy albums. That's our main job as Army, regardless of ship or bias. Soon all our boys will be serving, and the drought will be very very real. So let's try to celebrate, smile, and laugh about what we still can, okay? I think they'd want us to focus on that.

#jikook

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