Ze's face with children in school😍🥰🥺💜💜

If someone needs 100% cuteness - I highly recommend watching that video

We're talking about Narrative Tops who would LOVE to be Railed

@poetry-protest-pornography has decided to make top/bottom discourse a little less serious on this hellsite. Let me insert the disclaimer here:

(disclaimer: i generally hate top/bottom discourse, because it's so weirdly gendered and un-nuanced, but for the sake of this, we're going with narratively assigned sex roles)

And then let's talk about assigned BL Tops who would LOVE to be railed by their assigned BL Bottoms.

Bai Zong Yi from Kiseki: Dear to Me. No one is ever going to convince me that Zong Yi wouldn't be an absolute eager beaver to be underneath Ze Rui's fine ass. He's done his research. He knows how these things go and he loves to learn and Ze Rui is sort of a teacher. In my mind they be dipping and flipping each other.

Win from Between Us. If I'm not mistaken, in the source material Team was very much interested in topping Win. Also Win's character just seems like the top to be versatile and not just strictly a top. Maybe he wants to have his face buried in the pillows every now and again and he deserves to get his back blown out. He literally takes care of everyone else, someone should take care of him. Also...let's remember his horny response to Team slamming him into lockers in that one scene.

Xiang Hao Ting from History 3: Trapped. All I am going to say is that ONE scene where Hao Ting was straddling Xi Gu's lap and arching his back in the sluttiest way I've ever seen is definitely bottoming at some point. And I just know he would be LOUD! Literally think about Xi Gu having Hao Ting spread out more frequently then I would like.

Payu from Love in the Air. I've mentioned this in a character analysis, but in my mind, Rain is topping Payu at least once a month. Rain and Payu have that sort of dynamic where the power goes back and forth and I know there are times when Rain is allowed to screw Payu silly. I just know it. Also...Rain deserves an opportunity to smack on Payu's ass.

Nuea from Secret Crush on You. OK this one is canon and I'm just putting it on this list because not enough people talk about it. Nuea is such a stereotypical depiction of a top in dramas and I just love that he and Toh had conversations about switching it up. I love that Nuea also just let Toh know that if he wanted to top then he would have to be serious about it and actually put in that work and also be the one in control. Also Nuea has definitely expressed his interest in being taken by Toh (as long as he was serious about it). So this is real, it happened in the series and I just need for people to know that IdolFactory is doing good things.

This is only a few. I could keep going...but then again in my mind...all the couple are vers unless stated otherwise.

Trexel I would love to see, in your eyes, how and why you fell in love with Cyril :3c

And Hollis!! If you're not too busy, I'd love to hear your thoughts on Nyx in general :3 Zir quirks and mannerisms that you love (Or tolerate hdkhf), little things ze does that make you feel appreciated, all that fun stuff y'know?

☄️ Eugh, of course I get the sappy question. Why'd I even--whatever. Cyril is, uh, just a really good person. They don't think they are, but they are. It's...obnoxious, most of the time, but sometimes--sometimes it's nice. I guess. And, you know, not that I ever care what other people think of what I'm doing, but I guess I got used to having someone looking out for me. Maybe a little too used to it, considering the whole feelings situation, but hey, all's well that ends well, I suppose! ☄️

💭 Despite trying to present a suave exterior, Nyx can be very...enthusiastic. It's--well, it's not exactly professional, but it's very charming. And the pacing! They pace a lot when they're trying to think, and you can usually spot them going back and forth through the halls of the Motherlobe while trying to work out a tough idea. I think...one of my favorite things about zir is how I can just be myself around zir. I'm not anyone's boss or teacher--I'm just me, with all that comes with that. We can do things together I'd be embarrassed to ask other people--escape rooms and amusement parks and even spa days! I'm grateful for that. I try to let them know. ‏‏‎💭

Greetings, I just finished reading all of your works on your masterlist, you are very talented. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I would appreciate a match-up with a twisted wonderland character and Kimetsu no Yaiba.

Gender: Demiboy (I'm trans ftm)

Name: Larammee Di Sei Sideris

Age: 30+

Pronouns: he/they/ze

Height: 6'4" (1.95m)

Weight: 176lbs (80kg)

Personality type: Entp-t

Orientation: Panromantic

More on my appearance:

- I have a scar that goes from the middle of my neck to my right side.

- I wear glasses with chains.

- I have long (to my knees) black (I dyed them) straight hairs that I wear in a ponytail.

- I have many tattoos;

• A serpent on my collarbone

• My left hands are the bone of it

• Under my pecs I have a bat

• I have a semicolon on the left side of my neck

• On my spine I have the solar system

• On my right calf I have a Medusa tattoo

• Behind my left ear I have a upside down cross

• On all my left leg I have juuzou's stitches (tokyo ghoul)

• Behind my right ear I have the philosophy symbol (φ)

I also have many piercings;

• Both nipples

• 2 on my right eyebrows

• One in the middle on my lower lips

• My ears (all of it)

• My nose (both nostrils and septum

• 2 others where I will not say

How I dress: tuxedo with overcoat (over my shoulders) and heels, lace glove on my right left.

Likes:

1. Art (mostly litterature)

2. Classic music

3. Playing piano

4. Rain & thunder

5. Road trips

6. Spicy food

7. Coffee, tea, wine

8. Flowers

9. My work

Dislike:

1. Cooking

2. Clingy people

3. Junk food

4. My scar

5. Loud noises

6. Beer

7. Bugs and spiders

Phobia:

1. arachnophobia

2. claustrophobia

3. emetophobia

More about me:

I'm a litterature teacher.

I have 3 doctorat;

1. Philosophy

2. Teaching

3. Litterature

I have a husband and 2 twins sons

Hello, thank you for the request! I think that from the two series, the best match would be...

twst: Malleus

Look, it's Diasomnia!

This guy's similar in the sense of his interests. He likes classical things, and he's more than willing to explore new places. I'm sure he would appreciate going on road trips with you, not to mention how much he would love to read your works. Not only that, but he's glad you're fine with things like thunder and rain, since that's what Diasomnia's used to. Please play classical music with him, he's a talented violinist and I'm sure he'll be delighted to play some songs with you.

If you have a fear of spiders, fear not! I feel like Malleus is pretty much indifferent to things like bugs or insects in general, and he'll likely keep your arachnophobia in mind whenever you two go to new places. Before you see any spiders, I'm sure he'll get rid of them. Either way, he's someone that wants to look out for you and will keep note of the kinds of things you like, fear, etc.

He's probably interested in the tattoos you have as well, so feel free to show them off!

kny: Gyomei

This pillar is such a gentle guy. He's honestly someone that I can see enjoying literature like you, so the two of you definitely share this vibe. He probably likes tea similar to you too, so you two often sit together, looking outside or talking to each other inside during a thunderstorm. It's a very cozy atmosphere with him! If you don't like loud noises, he's there for you. He'll be understanding of it, and if situations get too noisy he's more than willing to basically carry you out haha. He wants to make sure you're comfortable, and will do the best he can to do that.

Super random, but he's really good around kids, I'm sure you're family would love being around him too. ^^

I LOVE BAD ART

hiii im thyme (ze/zir/they/them), one of the 4 ppl w accces to this acct, and sry for spelling, im dysgraphic + actualy typing and not using speach-to-text like normal

ANYWAYS

i LOVE bad art, and i HATE when ppl get upset i say that!

i grew up w a lot of pressuer on me to be good, definetly in general, but also absolutly w art!! my mom was an artist, and i grew up VERY christian. everything i did reflected on god, and more importantly to my mom, on her.

she was so exited to have a kid who LOVED art and stuff like her, but i was never good enough. she would always tell everyone how good i was, how i was gifted by god, and how much i took after her. (she was v self centered and would majorly talk up anything that made her look good, yikes i know)

so ppl would be naturaly interested and exited to see! and then i would be forced to show them some art, which, keep in mind, was verry age appropriate and full of the generally goofy stuff i loved, and 9/10 they would be dissapointed. even if they werent my mom decided to constantly pressure me to do better.

this was really stressful obv, and i stopped drawing for the first time. when i got into middle school, i started again, this time not really ttelling my mom. i was happier, but had already had it impressed down onto me that my art had to be good to warrant existing or taking my time. i was v stressed by it, and as i slowly started to get more comfortable i was imedietly bombarded with competition.

i struggled to get better in the ways that seemed easy for anyone else, PDA kicked in as soon as i felt something NEEDED to be done, and i was compaird to everyone my age and younger and told how much better theye were.

i never wanted to make it a competition, i just wanted to have fun. i wanted to do something hands on that could express me better than my words ever could (undiagnosed autism at the time made me feel verry weird and thuroughly broken, and explaining that wo imedietly getting invalidating and patronizing answers simply did not happen)

i stoped drawing again. i changed schools and had a better art teacher. she wasnt a dick bout my art, but definetly acted overly suportev(possibly im anxiose and projecting past art trauma onto her lmao and she was just being normal, she was cool af tho). i starded drawing more, on and offf, and got REALLY depressed and burnt out. one of the ways it manifested was being unable to be creative.

but things did get better!!! got an autism diagnosis and educated myself more on my dysgraphia diagnosis(got in elementry school), came out, made freinds who brought me to queer music and caberet shows(tysm phoenix), and was able to move out!

as im now on my own, my art drive has rissen signifigantly, especily as im surounded by other art enjoying weirdos(complementary). but i still hate when someone says that my art is good or bad. constructive advice and support is always valued, but there are so many mediums and people and styles, how on earth do we judge that?? having to be good enough for everyone to warent my own existance and hobbies almost killed me, and sucked all of the joy out of my life.

ive seen people who got so happy to doodle, only to stop forever when someone makes a remark on skill with their age. ive seen family stop bc someone joked abt their stick figures or car drawings, because even if the joker didnt mean it outside of a goofy remark, the joke was meanspirited and ment to put the artist down. I HATE THIS??!?!

WHO DECIDES WHATS GOOD ENOUGH TO EXIST??? capitilism? christianity? the example of two dead ppl from history???

obviosly i dont fuck w that.

art is something made to express something, how are you going to take such a broad catagory and shove it into your biased and sad binary?

so i proudly call my art bad. as an ongoing rebelion against everyone who thought and thinks that something has to fit their binary of goodto exist. i say bd to help myself unlearn the shitty things that were pushed onto me, and as a way of saying i dont have to be anyone's good to warent my own joy.

some ppl will cut in here, theyll tell me not to talk badly about myself (im not). theyl say even if i dont mean it bad, my brain will internalize it as a negative(i dont think that applies here?) or theyll spew some capitlistic bs (HUH, GUESS HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT.)

no hate to others reclaiming their art and love for it in different ways,this is just how it works for me. in in my art vocabulary, bad means not locking itself into the harsh expectations of good, and i find that incredibly freeing :)

The Adventure Zone: Ethersea, Dust 2, and live shows quotes:

• Trees don't grow on trees!

• - Look at this stuff isnt it neat?

  - Yes I think that your collection is complete now.

• - What I will also give you with a nat 20 is... harmarbahbahbahbah

  - Excuse me what? I missed that last part

  - Harnarbarbarbarbar.

  - I dont see how that helps us but, thank you?

• - Zis has nothing to do wiz us!

  - Okay. Tel me why. Then you explain it.

  - Okay zo the magic coming from the zingularity, that we are going to collect, with, with this crystal, yes? Zis worm, uhh is not, by its nature, ze zingularity! Yes?

- Right but its probably got magic... all over it.

- No! No Ze water... zis water dat we are in, right? It is... it is... Okay. Zink if it like this: Imagina a glass of water. And you drop some uh, coloring into it. Some dye in it. Yes?

- Alright. Alright.

- So zen you are going to put objects into this water, yes? Zey will um, become covered in ze dye. Because it is in the water, yes? Now if zey are zings that abzorb things, if they are different colors when zey go in, ze differences between the objects will make ze dye in ze water affect zem differently. Yes? Zis is how ze Ether, in the Ethersea works.

- Riiiiight.... so he should just try talking to it-

- No! Zey worm is just zoaked in ze magic! And so

- Whys the worm here then?

- Why are- why are we here?!

- Whoa... whoa... that may be... might be even beyond my-

- No iz cause we fell into ze clam! That waz not a metaphysical question! We are here because we vell into ze clam. Listen. Listen. I know this is weird right? Giant worm! An uh, we're very small, and we're looking for the giant, ya know zing that makes things small and giant, right? But zis is not it! Zis building is not it, zose screw things are not it, ze worm is not it. Zey have all just been affected by ze same magic we are trying to find, but zat magic is not here. I have studied magic literally all my life. And zis is not it. Uh zis is like- Amber, I would not tell you how to uh punch a shark with your uh uh furious fists; Zoox, I would not tell you how to swim with the farts that come out of your feet. So I need you to trust me that I know that zis- the only thing that can happen here, is that zis worm sees us, as food like it sees zese, uh, things in ze wall, and eats us and poops us out as this white uh, tree gross stuff that comes out of its butt. Right? So...

- Ah yea that's fair.

- I love it when he's compelling.

• - Uhh it's a 6 and a 9 dude, heh heh heh

  - Oh I get it.

  - (fake laughter)

  - Yea so if it-

  - Dad um, theres uh... sex number, uhhhh I guess. Sorry its so (unintelligable) young thing for us young bucks

  - I think it was invented in like 2005

  - Yea thats pretty recent. We just came up with it. Hey dad if you try to follow up on this gag at all, I will hang up

  - (loud, real laughter)

  - This is not a "yes, and" situation

  - No no no no

- It's not a "yes and" it's a "no thanks."

- I'll just open another window, lemme see

- Im about to close all the windows on my computer, and then...

- (gasp) oh my god

- (laughter)

• The problem with being lied to and manipulated iz that now, in retrospect I can not tell what waz a good day and what seemed like a good day because zis is how you wanted me to feel. Zis is the problem that I have. It iz not that I hate chu, it iz that I do not know what iz me, and what iz you. And what is ze church, and what it is that I want. Because for so long, you and the other teachers only saw me as a vessel to be filled with your ideas, and your beliefs. And you would do anything to have me accept those. I am afraid of every other feeling because I do not know if they are yours or if they are mine, but my resentment is my own. And zis is the anger I will keep coming back to, to understand who I am. And what fuels me is knowing that I am not you. As- I do not want to be only resentment, yes? But when I see your face and the symbol, and the church, it's all that I am. Pleasure doing business with you.

• - Amber who is zis fellow over here? He seems... I dont know, important? Weird?

  - lemme think about it (out of character) do I know him?

  - Roll uhh an investigation check.

  - Kay. Sixteen.

  - Plus anything?

  - Nuh clean.

  - Um they look familiar but you can't quite put your finger on it.

  - (back in character) Well they look familiar but I cant quite put my finger on it. Ah well!

• You might be different, ah but uh different is not bad. It just means that you will have other strengths and other challenges along ze way. But I have seen you handle yourself very well in several different um, absolutely difficult and terrifying situations. And I think the only thing that is wrong with you is the same thing zat is wrong with everybody else, which is we are all just trying to understand ourselves, and understand who we are and uh what we are doing.

• - It's one of the jobs that was offered to you

  - noooo which one? Was it one of the good ones?

  - Make uhhh

  - Perception?

  - Yea perception or investigation, she just flashed it at you real quick.

  - That's uhh wow a natural 1 I dont even know if that's paper. Hey! Whats with that banana you got!

• - Well is it coloquial or is it irrelevant?

  -  It's actually pronounced the cloaca, is where hes at

• - Do you have a jacket zat I could have? Zis is unrelate-

  - They will cover your whole body

  - No its unrelated, I just needed a new jacket

  - Umm no! What are you talking about?

  - I just thought that I would ask

  - Have I ever come to your domicile and said like "hey! Selling any pants today?" That's a wild thing to do!

  - Oh I did not say selling I was hoping you would just give it to me.

  - Have I ever showed up at your domicile and said "gimme pants! Its me ya pal uncle Joshie gimme pants today!"

  - We haven't known each other this long.

  - No we haven't! Thats exactly right! We wicked have not!

• We don't want your boomerang dude

• (in deep voice) I agree, lets continue on our sacred mission

  - Oh shit, Optimus Prime is here?!

  - Autobots, transform!!

  - Sam Witwicky

  - Sam Witwicky!

  - Sam Witwicky!!

• - Sam Witwicky did you bring the robot weed?

• - You know hes kinda squiggly and uhhhh wiggly... he is an octo- holy shit.

  - What?

  - Squiggles was ze smiley face!

  - What?

  - Squiggle- Squiggles- Squiggles! Skittles! Was ze smiley face!

  - Travis is broken!

  - Squiddly diddly?!

  - Skittles? Squiggles.... was ze smiley face avatar at ze auction.

• Griffin trying out different voices for Nermal made me laugh. It doesnt really work to do in text because he does the same line multiple times in increasingly ridiculous voices.

• I could being your face down to a steak, cut it into nice strips for my brood

• - Im going to throw the uh, chance lance at the laser eye

  - Okay. You didn't say it was an eye, but I like that. Thats cool.

  - Well it is!

  - Where else is it gonna go its not a laser belly button

  - Well wait wait wait a minute! Im the one that came up with it, so I oughta say what it is.

- Yea what is it?

- It's a laser eye! Were you not listening?

• - Tell me about its smooth endoplasmic reticulum, Travis

  - It's sexy as fuck!

• Point at the face that looks like your face. For pain I mean.

• Shrets not reaaaal. Its just a naaaame.

• -  I got an 8

  - I got a rock

• You can not call it a gift if it was not asked for or offered. You imposed this on us. This is not how a gift works. And second; your understanding that strengths come from- through suffering? This is not the way. This is not an acceptable... pathway for us to move forward.

• - Thats a 10!

  - Yea... no

  - How much defense could a chain have??

  - It's not about defense-

  - He makes a good point, Griffin

  - It's not about defense! Its about you threading a chain-link with a crossbow bolt that you have tied a rope onto! There is no universe in which this-

  - Well when you say it like that, Griffin, it sounds wild!

  - Yea! It is wild! You see- Cambria laughs at you! The big worm monster laughs at you!

  - Wait a minute wait! Wait a minute. Now when you make an attack roll youre rolling again somebodys armor class, correct?

(All talking over each other now)

  - Did- you- dad-

  - Now wait, wait a minute-

  - Objection! The- the judges

  - Can we talk about this?

  - I don't wanna talk about anything else!

  - All the jury members stand up and shout objection! At the same time.

  - I don't have to win over a judge- a jury

  - And the judge is like this isn't how court works, but I agree! Ob-

  - I just have to win over you!

- Yea you're not gonna do that! Ive made my position perfectly clear. You can say you rolled a 10, what you did was you rolled a 2 plus 8. No way!

  - Alright

  - I wanna hear dad out!

  - Yea!

  - No no, let him speak

  - Okay no no! Make your impashioned armor class argument.

  - Now I'm just a simple fantasy lawyer, but my client

• stop rolling thunderclap damage!

• Herosim isn't some title that you earn for yourself and then you get to trot around. Its a thing that you do.

• If TAZ has a unifying theme, I've had a lot of thoughts about it, and if TAZ- The Tazmasphere- has a unifying theme, it is bullying people in administration positions.

• - If you have one of these, its called a map, and it will show you how to get to ze parlor, hmm?

  - Uh okay. And she goes over to uh a- a desk, a small sort of information desk, and picks up a piece of paper and jots something on it and then hands it to you and its just a note that says "just fucking follow me!"

•  - His name? Franz....ch.

   - Franged?

   - Frenched

   - Sorry, Franche? 

  - Can you guys not make a big deal out of it everytime?? Im trying to- I don't have a billion names written time this time!

• - The more you lose, the more important it is to protect what you still have, you pessimistic asshole. Because there are children that are in Founders Wake that have never seen a fucking polar bear! And we have ze chance to save things so that- maybe you dont care right now. But maybe they will! Huh?? Maybe its not about you, you selfish piece of shit!

• You zink you are very special because you feel this way. You zink that you have a big picture kind of mentality and that you see things in a clear way that no one else. But I'm going to tell you a secret, Sir. I grew up surrounded by people like you. People who live their life and make their decisions because of some promise of a better zing coming right? And zat everyzing they do now is all worth it because of whats to come, right? But ze problem is when you are looking at ze big picture, ze the things that you often miss, right, iz ze little things. And so you become so focused on the big picture and working towards ze next thing, zat you lose focus on how you are affecting the world you are in now. You think the world will be better huh? The next one. Do you know how it got to be like that?? Because of assholes like you who focused on "better" and ze next thing. And growing and taking more and being more and having more and instead, maybe if you focused a little bit more on what was going on now, we wouldn't be in ze fucking predicament here under the ocean, surrounded by polluted water, zat we are. Did you ever think about this??

• But with her many arms she rips sun from sky and boils all the water-  misbehavior

• That's why Gary Gygax used to say "this is my little nephew, Matt Mercer"

• It's a good point, but not relevant.

• I've always had the sneaking suspicion that when people aren't with us, theyre not really doing much of anything. Have you guys felt that ever?

• - Nah we, me and Dylan can handle it

  - Whos dylan??

  - Sorry??

  - Uh, from- from deeper in the ship, the- the door to the bridge opens up, and you all see just this skeezy waistoid of a dude walk in and hes like "Hey what's up? What's going on?"

  - Sorry who are you?

  - Who is Dylan??

  - This is my friend Dylan.

(Laughter)

• I- no! I don't think so at all! Im not with them. No I'm- I- Im- I like the mortal world! I like the- the I like the oceans, I like the- most of the people Ive met and I like all the creatures Ive met. I- I dont know why anybody would want to... get rid of this! I... I understand that people have lives and memories and- and all these things about the past, but, you know I recently learned that I'm not gonna live in it. I- I don't have that past to live in. So I don't wanna tunnel into... whatever Nirvanna or whatever these people wanna do. I just... I wanna enjoy this beautiful world that we have; this existence we have! I wanna appreciate it! I don't- I don't see any sense in trying to go somewhere else. Im! Not! With! Them!

• - My will

  - What?

  - My will

  - Oh okay.

  - Oh he did it in a scary voice. I hated that.

  -Yea idk why..

  - Like the devil-

  - I can't hear it on my end, hows it sound?

  - It sounds fucking scary man

  - It sounds terrible

  - It's the scariest-

  - I'm trying to turn it off so please- please ignore me (demonic laugh)

  - The volumes are too low and I tried to change this one slider and now I sound like this!

  - It's wonderful to me that you got this fun new sound board in our penultimate episode.

  - It's not- Ive had it for a little bit but I don't normally have these.

•  - Your mind reels with a question as you blink away tears: where the shit am I? To which your own mind answers: I do not know

  - Okay Griffin, but whats happening in the game??

• Yes! He's gained the power of literacy, and now he's unstoppable!

•  - You have thwarted me again, Springfield

  - Im walking away, I cant hear you actually Im walking away

  - Wait

  - Nope. Im not gonna! Im gonna walk away!

  - Okay. I wish-a you wouldn't.

  - Okay I'll see ya around. Bye!

  - That's a weird thing to say after you said that cool shit about Siren

  - I know but you keep talking to me and now its weird!

  - You're not walking away!

  - I want to though!

  - You keep responding

  - Okay now I'm definitely gonna walk away

  - Doesn't sound like it

  - Aw man.

  -(Quieter) Okay I'm walking away

  - Hey wait come back!

  - Yea?

  - What are you still doing here, man?

  - God dammit!

• -You ask a fucking lot of questions. I get it, that its like-

  - It's my whole deal!

  - Yea but even so... it's... it's... tiring.

  - What else would you have me dooo?

  - You could just chill.

  - I'm not The Statementer! Like I don't come when youre doing your job I don't-

  - I've got a question for you.

  - What is it?

  - What did birds evolve from? (Out of character) and then I go

  - Well the science-

  - (dinosaur screeches) And a bunch of-

  - No you didn't let me answer!

  - Velociraptors jump through the windows!

 

• - Do you have a spectral pen, um?

  - A regular pen that he can hold? When he's not-

  - Yes it's fine I can man-manifest myself into a corporeal form. Please excuse me for just a second.

  - Hang on just a second-

  (Very loud obnoxious screaming from Justin)

• - Mr. Parsons? It seems a missive has come for you.

  - Shhh. I hate this part.

• My name is Augustus Parsons; and I'm totally nuts.

• - That was a NICE ectoplasmic blast

  - That's what she said!

Hello this idea came to me while doing laundry and i would love to share it with others who have had their brain, heart, and soul rotted by the locked tomb series.

Soooo originally i was thjnking the setting high school but further ruminations leade to believe this could be completed as like college freshman/sophomore and would make somr shenanigans significantly easier to construct.

Here is what I got so far:

John Gaius - corporate bastard is the bosses bosses boss idfk

MercyMom and Augustine are also corporate

Teacher - manager and over worked under paid adjuct in philosophy and english literature.

Pelleamena amd Priamhark - regional managers and own laundry mat

Ortus - theater major

Crux

Aiglamene

Gideon - Butch lesbian. Pronouns: She/He line cook and prep cook. Rugby player (pro or amateur). Kinesiology major wants to do Physical Therapist. Bad Catholic girl

Harrow - bi/lesbian. Pronouns: she/her. Assistant manager. Server. Host. Banned from the kitchen. Anthropologist. Goth. Wears alot of makeup. Also Bade Catholic girl, the original.

Judith - bi. Pronouns She/Her. JROTC. Takes herself very seriously. Has good grades. She is nice and very rules oriented. She will hit you with the malevolent compliance if she thinks ur being a shit.

Marta - straight? Pronouns she/they. ROTC sergeant person idk but she runs the program at the high school.

Coronabeth - pan. Pronouns she/fae. The queen bee of college itself. College isn't a popularity contest because she is there. Highly charmastic. Captian of the volleyball team or Waterpolo. Double Major Psychology and political science. Old money

Iathe - pan. Pronouns she/ze. Medical student specializing in plastic surgery. Femdom. She is fashion. Always shows up to her sisters games. Too mean to TA. Old money.

Naberius - bi/pan. Pronouns he/him. Captian of the Fencing team. Kinesiology major. Pretty boy. Beats up guys who try to prey on girls at frats parties.

Issac & Jeannemary - could be straight could be bi its whatever. pronouns: he/him & she her respectively. high school juniors or seniors. JROTC. Theater kids.

Abigail - straight and deeply in love with her husband. Pronouns: she/her. History professor. All her students love her. Her class is hard but fair. Does student retention. Is firm and will write you a great letter of rec if yoj have the opportunity to work under her.

Magnus - straight and deeply in love with his wife. Pronouns: he/him. Owns a bookshop. Does alot for the community. Host fundraisers. Helps keep the local library running and engaged with. Host the best dinner parties.

Palamedes - pan. he/they. Medical Students specializing in??. Is a med student because he saw Dulcinea guest lecture at his high school for recruitment and decided then and there what his aim in life would be. Writes fanfiction on smut and runs a discord server for his fan base.

Camilla is his best friend partner in crime they are inlove your honor. Bad muslim boy

Camilla - Ace. She/they. Loves romance music. Her aesthetic is fall. Double Major biology and political science. Martial Artist would have went full international pro but followed pal to school, now she doesnt compete past the national level. Is also deeply platonically in love with Palamedes. Bad muslim girl

Dulcinea - pronouns She/Fae. Loves trashy reality tv and romance novels. PhD student in public medicine, Healthcare for all. Will probably run the CDC in a few years. Uses mobility aids. Hates hospitals. Sex positive. She would probably fist fight you. Jewish mom friend

Protesilaus - pronouns he/him. Registered Nurse and professional Gardner. Has a thumb greener than Gods. Runs a booth at the farmers market selling a variety of plants. Been taking care of Dulcinea since she was 13. They are thick as theives. Jewish dad friend.

Silas & Colum - pronouns: he/him for both. They are missionaries. Colum is a full on priest tho. Wtf do they keep showing up to the diner? They are probably jehovah witnesses.

AU highlights

-Sports!

-Homecoming

-Spring Festival

-Magnus hosting a community BBQ/fundraiser for??

…the ugly. SYAC: The Master Review 4

Last post I covered much of what I consider the good or passable strips of SYAC of the pre-Dobbear era. What I have admittedly not covered yet, were three certain characters of the strip that exist beside Dobson.

Persistent Pam

 Curmudgeonly Carl

And… this guy I am not even sure has a name.

No, seriously. He shows up in like the 61th strip of the series for the first time and yet I never see his name mentioned once

All I know is that he is an accountant, who pities Dobson (for good reason)

And despite Dobson not liking alcohol, they regularly meet up in a bar as if they are some late 80s comedy duo

Funnily enough, he shows up way before Pam, who would have her premiere in these strips

 And despite only showing up in a few strips after her premiere (mostly to make “fun” of overbearing and snarky commissioners I suppose…)

 She actually managed something no other character or series by Dobson managed to get: A fanclub

 Not that she would really be of any major importance afterwards.

As for Carl, he is supposed to be something like an antagonistic embodiment of Dobson’s “old” art teachers and people being stuck in old ways, who shows up for the following strips forming a sort of arc.

In addition, it is very obvious, that Carl is supposed to be a mockery of people flaming Dobson. Not helped by the fact that THIS character sheet of him made by Dobson assures us, that there were quite a few even less “endorsing” things he wanted to name the character.

Yet funnily enough, Carl turned into such a popular character with readers, Dobson was essentially “forced” to make him reappear in other strips. Not of the “classical” SYAC strips, but he showed up as the “antagonist” to Tenku in the storydriven multi pagers. Though even antagonist is a strong word, as he is essentially more of a jerkish art teacher and college advisor who is harsh on Tenku, but actually has his best interests in mind. To the point he even offers him to be his “harsher” art critic in the years till he enters college, because he wants to see him grow artistically.

 However, Carl was also more of an “accident”. Cause when it came otherwise to tackling criticism or things that irked Dobson (and were not anime related) he would end up more or less creating strips that painted him in a manner where he would supposedly always look like “the better” compared to his opposition or mock it. Which is where a lot of the irk Dobson would earn over the years eventually comes from.

Now to be fair, I do not want to call every comic in that regard “strawmanning”, nor do I want to say that Dobson doesn’t have the right to also mock to a certain extend the mentality of certain “snobs” and so on. For example…

On one hand, I know there are people out there who think they are “special” by having the best tools at their disposal. When in reality you can achieve good results also with less expensive stuff. So mocking that sort of attitude is fine to me to some extend

BUT, when you also make down the line a comic like this…

… essentially making yourself come off as a “better” artist or person than others because you have “chosen” the better mass produced crap (btw, that is coming from someone who types this review on a Mac that runs Windows) , then the hypocrisy ends up to be rather strong with you.

 Which is also essentially the biggest issue with the strips I am about to show. The hypocrisy of Andrew Dobson. And no, I do not mean the tumblr blog by that. I mean the simple fact, that the content of some of the soon to follow strips gets kinda muddled when you take into consideration some of the things real life Dobson had said and done either at the time or in the years to come. Well that and the way how he tries to mock issues people have with his work, not realizing how he is essentially just reassuring those “silly critics” in their opinions while making his flaws more obvious to people that may have been previously unaware of them.

But enough talk, let me just show you in quick succession examples to confirm said point.

Considering Dobson’s longterm disdain for DnD you have to wonder what the joke really is outside of him portraying DnD players as ugly nerds, supposedly too geeky even for him. Which is hilarious in hindsight as he would years later become a fan of TAZ among other things.

Less hypocritical but the set up is kinda flawed. Like, you are obviously at a convention trying to sell stuff. Why would some old dude not interested in “kids crap” be at the convention anyway? Is he just bringing someone there and just wants to go, but first needs time to belittle your life choices?

 Rather hilarious in hindsight to me. Cause for someone claiming he has ideas that last for a life time and who seems rather distraught on the idea of others giving their input, he turned out to be so in need of ideas. Alex ze Pirate e.g. became from 2015 onward only defined by Dobson talking about the sexualities of his characters (and not even in comic as by that point it was discontinued, but rather in tweets and so on). Formera, which ran heavily on cheap shonen anime tropes ended up cancelled after two volumes, Cabin Rest was a failure after 20 strips, 2019 he relied primarily on cheap comics about Miraculous Ladybug and his understanding of certain genres is so bad, he can’t even think up the most basic ideas for a magical girl story.

Weirdly enough, that pitch of a garbage truck driver who fights crime? I think that could make for an enjoyable short story about a vigilante a la the Punisher or Sin-City.

 The way Dobson perceives criticism, while also essentially giving a quick rundown how he appreciated criticism in his childhood way better than in adulthood. Yeah, because criticism by your parents as a kid was always VERY constructive. (looks back at certain drawings from own childhood) brrr. And sorry Dobson, but sometimes criticism by strangers is better than criticism from friends. Cause friends may mince their words. Plus people have over time given you quite some insightful criticism aside “U SUX” when it comes to comics. You were just never willing to listen

Hey Dobson, you hear that? That is the sound of your career, dying and no one caring.

Yeah, I think someone who made such “brilliant” comedy as in these comics, totally has the right not to listen to what seems to be solid theoretical advice.

BTW, that Talus comic… I swear to god the worst “joke” Dobson ever told.

 Wow. You essentially make a point why you suck at drawing. While still not trying to change.

And as someone else once said: Don’t play with fire if you can’t deal with the heat, BLOCK-son!

This is not how I perceived your shit over the years. See, on one hand it is true that Alex ze Pirate e.g. has its own webpage to read the comic for free. HOWEVER most of his comics Dobson would hide from the start behind a paywall. The idea being that he would e.g. put a small reading sample of 10-15 pages up somewhere and then expect people to buy his comic for full price to get the rest. And you know, if you are e.g. a professionally published writer, that is fine. But when your average art output looks like THIS

And you expect people to pay more than 10 dollars for something that is only around 70 pages long while most people can get 200+ pages for the same amount of money that look like this…

 You can frankly go and screw yourself.

On one hand I get that the joke is meant to be, that as an independent content creator you may find yourself in a weird spot where your “child friendly” work may be put in a palace between edgier stuff other creators sell at conventions. On the other hand, I find it rather insulting in hindsight, that self declared feminist Andrew Dobson portrays such competition as either psychopathic murderers or stereotypical cartoon bimbos. If modern day Dobson saw the same strip by any other person, he would be insulted on behalf of the female that she is portrayed as a bimbo, when she could also be a very smart and attractive woman who knows how to tell brave and sexy stories.

Also, I have read your “child friendly” stuff, Dobson. I would call Atea or Alex abusive bitches who like to bully orphans but child friendly? Not to forget that your work is so basic and shallow in depth, it’s like the someone tried to create a chimera out of some of the worst traits associated with Dora the Explorer, 80s toodler cartoons and the Fairly Oddparents.

I frankly hate this theory on comedy. It is true, a lot of comedy can be deprived from conflict, misunderstandings etc. Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry and other cartoons as well as screwball comedies such as Rat Race can depend on it. Heck, one of my favorite comedians of all time is Christopher Titus, who based his entire career on the misery and absurdity of his life.

But comedy is not just defined by misery and conflict.

There are for example also the following theories when it comes to comedy…

And to get back e.g. to Titus, yes, he has build a lot of his comedy on the bad stuff that happened in his life. But he is also someone who in his comedy has build a lot of punchlines on the absurdity of certain situations he has been in life but which in a way have enriched his life positively.

 What I am trying to say is, comedy (and entertainment in that regard) does not just have to be defined by misery. And all things considered Dobson, you could have really tried to also just make comics wherein either you or your characters are just happy with their situation in life.

For example, this page from an Owl House fancomic?

I think it holds more entertainment value than your “joke” right here, despite not even telling a joke.

Simply because as a page overall, it tries to convey a positive emotion. Which is more than I can say about the strip.

Because of a lack of different level of thickness regarding your lines, which would trick people into perceiving depth, the fact that the fill bucket and shade layers can only do so much to cover for the rather monochromatic dull nature of your comic, the fact that your characters are not really all that complex and look rather simplicstic even compared to stuff from a comic like this…

And that is just coming from the top of my head as someone who never studied art. If any reader has something to add, I am willing to listen

And considering you could in later years never keep up to any release schedule, which among other things resulted in only three SYAC strips in total being released in 2016, I say go fuck yourself. Not to forget that even some of the worst newspaper comic strips out there tend to actually find a decent following and good jokes eventually, otherwise they would not manage to stay popular for years, if not even decades.

As someone who has worked internships a lot in life, I just want to say fuck you in all our names. Glad to see you having just as much respect for interns than any other scumbag on the planet. Probably even less respect, cause you know, in some places interns tend to get paid.

Also, there is supposedly an entire real world story going on about Dobson having worked at his former university at the time the comic came out and Chaz is based on a fellow intern.

Things are unfortunately rather vague in that regard and only hold up by demonstrative evidence such as the name of Chaz showing up in certain pages of the university and Dobson’s internship being mentioned somewhere.

Well, would you look at that: People have different opinions on your stuff.

There are ways to draw memes funny and then there are ways to fail at them

 You failed.

Funnily enough, that comic rings a lot truer to text than you expect. Considering how Dobson would often emulate certain aesthetics in his comics of shows that were rather passee by the time he published his stuff, plus how he will obsess over certain trends and games for years to come (like Skyrim or his Quiet Hate Boner) while also being unaware about current trends (how do you e.g. not have heard of My Hero Academia by 2018 at least once by accident?) Dobson has always been kinda late to the party. Missing the “zeitgeist” of nerd culture and as such never quite finding an audience.

Yeah, what Pam says. Not helped by the fact that yes, the floating eyebrows are real. Look at some earlier sketches or “professionally published” comics by his and you will see that each time characters get excited, their eyebrows will suddenly split into sets of three and float higher than Pennywise’s victims.

Ironically, that fits real life Dobson at the time and later on even more so than this comic version did. Sorry, but what am I supposed to call a person who has an hate boner on anime for years for superfluous reasons, made Danny and Spot a “gaming webcomic” deliberately to piss on non Nintendo fans and has admitted in some by now deleted youtube video, that he kept a list of usernames from an old forum just to remember even years later the people that were mean to him online?

 Fuck both of you. I do not expect the Sixtin Chapel in the background, but something to filll up the empty space behind you is at times needed.

The comic here is actually called politics. … ironic how things changed once a certain reality show host turned president.

Jesus Christ. I am not even that much of a Transformers fan (Prime fan for life however) but even I know that this is not supposed to be what you design the head of a Transformer like. Not even if they ever produce the Transformers equivalent of Teen Titans Go.

Too bad you still can’t stand the heat, otherwise you wouldn’t have completely disappeared last year.

When you know you are in a no win situation, and still manage to choose an even dumber option to escape. I really don’t get it. I just think the Portal reference makes the comic dated and Dobsn’s attempt at a smug face looks so stupid. Like his cheeks are falling in and his mouth is about ready to get raped by a garden hose or something.

Yeah, considering Dobson’s later constant need for safe spaces and to be in control of a situation and the narrative, which led to so many blocks over the years… if you know anything about Dobson, how this comic becomes harsher in hindsight is rather self explanatory. I just want to say one thing: There is a difference between genuine agoraphobia and just wanting to be by yourself. And I think Dobson just prefers the later on average. Which is okay, but humans still need to interact with other human beings in one form or another, even just for the sake of keeping their mental health stable. Why do you think are so many people getting depressed in times of covid lockdowns, despite many having all sorts of technical gimmicks at their disposal to at least keep boredom at bay?

And by putting himself into a bubble like that, I think Dobson has deprived himself of some of the most basic human interaction, which was likely a severe factor in his mental degeneration over the last years.

It is still a valid suggestion! Just draw some cartoon characters or a nice fantasy scenario on a mural and earn yourself some bucks. Just be sure they are not by Disney or the Mouse will tear down the school!

… Just google up the words Andrew Dobson and Samus Aran commission by ED and you will see how this comic just further shows how much Dobson seems to actually be proud of being an unproductive asshole.

 And by the way, I know that any form of artistic work takes time. Just writing these review posts takes a lot of time for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that people should post and create stuff in a timely fashion, especially when there are e.g. deadlines to hold up too. And by the way, Sloth’s don’t have fingers, they have claws!

And that is it.

Sorry if I missed anything folks, but I just saw how many pages in word this is already filling up, so I call quits for this part here right now. I think I made my point about how Dobson trying to badly deflect arguments people may make against his art and work ethics via jokes clear enough, while also showing some posts that are either harsher or hilarious in hindsight.

Next time we will however address one certain issue about our main character, that has been not directly addressed here. In the meantime, have a little fun video that shows hopefully how entertainment and a certain amount of comedy can be gained NOT via misery.

Hi! I’m thinking of switching from they/them to ey/em pronouns, but I’m worried that no one will “get it” and I’ll have to give a long explanation every time, or that people will simply refuse to use them. Do you have any tips on asking people to use neopronouns in a simple, clear, and convincing way? Thank you! (PS: Your blog is so positive and helpful, thank you!!)

I would suggest mocking up some cards like the ones found here but making them focus on ey/em (and using whatever example sentences you’re comfortable with) and printing them out/putting them on index cards. Keep some on hand and give them out to friends/family/teachers/coworkers/etc.!

[Image description: Pronouns -- A How To Guide

Subject: [1] laughed at the notion of a gender binary. Object: They tried to convince [2] that asexuality does not exist. Possessive: [3] favorite color is unknown. Possessive Pronoun: The pronoun card is [4]. Reflexive: [1] think(s) highly of [5].

The pronoun list on the reverse is not an exhaustive list. It is good practice to ask which pronouns a person uses. Copyright 2011, 2016 UW-Milwaukee LGBT Resource Center]

[Image description: 1: (f)ae, e/ey, he, per, she, they, ve, xe, ze/zie 2: (f)aer, em, him, per, her, them, ver, xem, hir 3: (f)aer, eir, his, pers, her, their, vis, xyr, hir 4: (f)aers, eirs, his, pers, hers, theirs, vis, xyrs, hirs 5: (f)aerself, eirself, himself, perself, herself, themself, verself, xemself, hirself]

It gives people a very easy resource that explains how to use your awesome pronouns and no real reason not to understand or remember.

As for asking - “hey, I have some news. I’m switching over to ey/em pronouns. You’ve been so great at using my they/them pronouns and ey/em is so similar, I know you’ll pick it up quickly. The big difference is that I use ey/em in singular form rather than plural like with they/them. Thanks!” or “actually, I just changed my pronouns to ey/em rather than they/them. I know it’s a new pronoun set to practice, but it means a lot to me. Thanks!” or “Hello, I’m [anonymous], and I use ey/em pronouns. I know they may take some time to get used to, but they’re really just like any other pronoun” or along those lines. If they’re confused, you can talk about using ey where you would use they/she/he and em where you would use them/her/him and/or hand them the card.

If someone refuses to use your pronouns, that is a reflection on them, not on you or the way you asked.

Good luck!

~Pluto

I Think There's Something You Should Know DuckTales Fic~

A double post?! In what kind of fresh hell world is this?! All joking aside, this is a fic that my best friend @i-want-a-donut DM about via my recent discord account making! She want a soft fic with Sabrina and Ludwig so that is what I'm here to bestow upon all of you!

I paced around the bedroom that I had recently been given at McDuck manor. I knew that this day had to come but I hadn’t expected for it to be so soon. It was the deadline for something that I had promised myself that I would do.

“It’s just uncle Ludwig, has he ever hated you?” I muttered to myself just not wanting to get this done. This was not something that I had ever wanted to do.

“You can’t help this. It’s not like when you were born somebody bestowed the gay upon you. It’s something that you have to discover for yourself. Whether or not he accepts that is not up to you. He’ll still love me. Through everything he’s been the one person that has ever stood by my side and vouched for my decision making. He would never, ever reject me for being who I truly am inside. Right Ji?” I asked my cat who was sitting on the floor looking up at me with his big green eyes as if to convey human I have no idea what you just said to me.

“I know, you’re just a cat. You’re lucky, these kinds of things can’t bother you because the only thing that matters to you is pets, cuddles and food. You’ll still love me right Jiji?” He meowed softly at me and I couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at him.

“Of course you will. I’m the human that looks after you so you’ll have to always care about me. I’ve pushed this out already way longer than it needs to be. Everyone else in the family already knows and still loves me. But if he doesn’t… if he can’t accept me this way…” I chocked on the sob that threatened to leave me just trying to calm down and think about this rationally. My phone buzzed next to me and I hesitantly picked it up.

Gosalyn <3: Love, I know you’re nervous about this but this is kooky uncle Ludwig that you’re going to tell. This is the person that you’ve always wanted to be. This is the same person that taught you the colors of the spectrum through freaking song, you’ll be fine babe. I believe in you!! Through Gosalyn’s encouraging words I took severally deep breaths.

“Thanks Gos, you always know just what to say to make me feel better.” I laughed a little bit when she sent me a picture of her skating on her Darkwing Duck board.

Me: Thanks gorgeous, I’m just panicking that’s all. Sure, my family accepts me but there’s no opinion in this whole world that I value more than uncle Ludwig even if he is kooky. I sighed adjusting my ponytail for what felt like the millionth time that day.

“Sabrina?” I heard my uncle Donald knock lightly on my bedroom door and I sighed a little bit playing with the ends of my hair.

“It’s time to go and meet uncle Ludwig for your weekly lessons.” I sighed a little bit looking over at the calendar and seeing that it was the day that I thought it was. I had to do it today if I wanted to treat myself to that trip to St. Canard for my birthday at the end of next month.

“Sabrina, just because you set a deadline for something doesn’t mean that it has to be done that specific day. You make these promises to yourself that if you can’t do this one specific thing by this one day that you’ll panic if you haven’t done it yet. Whatever you have to tell us I’m sure that it’s not as bad as you think it is inside your head.” He reminded me patiently and I nodded my head looking down at my webbed feet.

“You can do it Brina. I know that you can. It might seem difficult at first especially because your uncle is your biggest hero in the whole world but you’ll see. Everything will work itself out in the end.” My mom got down so that she could easier talk to me.

“But what if you all hate me? I couldn’t live with myself if all of you hated me…” My mom just thumbed my tears away from my eye.

“Oh honey, we could never ever hate you. No matter what it is that you feel that you need to tell us, we’ll understand. We’ll listen and we’ll be here for you no matter what happens. I know that your brain has probably been running around in circles these last few weeks trying to tell us something. I want you to tell us when you come back with uncle Ludwig for dinner.” My mom reasoned and I hugged her tightly. I took a couple of deep breaths knowing that she made, as usual, a decent argument.

“You’ve been hiding things from us too sis so I know that whatever you’ve got going on in your personal life that you’re scared to admit it. It’s okay to keep shit to yourself. But it’s also okay to talk about whatever you’re afraid of as well.” Louie reminded me and I looked over at my green hoodie wearing brother.

“I think what Lou is trying to tell you is that we have your back Brina. Everyone in this family sticks together no matter what it is that we’re struggling with. Whatever is going on in your life we’ll be there for that as well.” Huey reminded me and I looked over at my brother with tears in my eyes and he just wound his arms around my neck in a tight hug.

“I’ve always got your back sis. No matter what that secret is that you’ve been keeping I’ll always fight with you. You’re not alone in your battle. You have so many people out there backing you up.” He encouraged me and I smiled softly at my brother knowing that he was already in my corner. He’d probably already figured out what I was going to tell them all over dinner tonight. I was planning on telling uncle Ludwig before I told the rest of the family anyways.

“Sabrina, it’s time to go.” I nodded my head retracting from my brother’s hug and ruffling Louie’s tuft on his head.

“I’ll see you later Lou, send me cute Animal Crossing pics.” I picked up my over the shoulder bag checking to make sure that my laptop and my homework from the last week was inside of it.

“You’ve got it, if I see Dora in my village I’ll send you cute screenshots.” I saw my brother instantly log onto his switch and flip upside down so that he could play the cute game that he had gotten me into in the first place. I buckled my seatbelt and spent the rest of the car ride over in silence my brain still running laps around itself trying to figure out the best way to possibly tell my favorite family member that I was a lesbian.

“Have a good lesson okay Brina?” I nodded my head kissing my uncle’s cheek with a small smile on my face that instantly relaxed when I saw my uncle Ludwig at the front of his stoop.

“Mien starchen!! So happy to see you, are you ready to get ze learning on?” I nodded my head with a bright smile on my face.

“I’m always ready to get my learn on Uncle Ludwig. Bye uncle Donald!” I waved to my uncle who was driving the old family car back to the manor.

“How have you been this last week? Ze homework wasn’t too difficult for you was it?” I shook my head with a small smile on my face.

“I could figure everything out! I had an amazing teacher after all and you’ve alway made sure that everything was crystal clear before you sent me off on my own. I did have to ask Lou for help with calculous but math has never been my best subject other than algebra.” I explained the homework that I had struggled with and he just lightly patted my head.

“You’ll understand ze calculus eventually it’ll be like chemistry where at first it just looks like a bunch of gobbly gook until you understand ze mechanics.” He reasoned and I smiled softly as I saw that my uncle was wearing one of the vests that I had knitted for him. Uncle Ludwig had always been encouraging of my passions and my interests and always wore the designs that I made for him.

“I know uncle. Thanks again for taking time out of your busy schedule.” He looked at me his eyes soft but at the same time sad.

“Oh hush ze sad thoughts, this is ze highlight of my week. You know zis.” Ludwig’s eyes were filled with the varying emotions and I just looked down at my webbed feet.

“I’m sorry uncle Ludwig… I’m so sorry…” I chocked on a sob and he just took my hands in his running comforting circles into them.

“What ever are you sorry for mein starchen? What is up with ze crocodile tears all of the ze sudden?” He thumbed away as many as he could and I just shook my head.

“I’ll tell you once I can be calm enough. I’m telling the-the rest of the family at dinner tonight.” I chocked out and he just smiled sadly at me.

“Oh starchen come here my little one…” He hugged me tightly to his body nearly lifting me off the ground but I couldn’t help but cling to him just as hard.

“It’ll be okay, whatever it is that you have to tell I will promise you right now that there is no reason to be sorry. You could never do anything that would make me hate you Sabrina. There is nothing wrong with you whether it be ze mental or ze emotional. You just need help to understand things sometimes and zere is nothing with asking for ze help every now and again. I wanted to sign you two new books for today anyways. Shall we talk zis talk to ze library where you can be comfortable? I’ll get you a cup of hot chocolate from ze machine and some breakfast while I am at it.” His soothing voice brought me out of my own head and I found myself slowly melting into the warmth of the affection of it. There was so much there that I could get lost in. I found his library easily because that was where most of our lessons were held. I looked around me at all the huge stacks of bookshelves seeing two that were in front of his desk. Brave New World and Slaughterhouse Five.

“Oh you have found them already!! Those will be your next book reports zat I want by ze end of ze month. Both of ze books I would highly recommend for somebody like you. They are very unique and I think zat you will love zem both.” He encouraged me and I nodded my head with a small smile on my face picking up one of them.

“I have heard of both of them, isn’t this where you took your If you had a bad day, take a soma. If you want to forget that you even had that day, take two poster from that’s in your office?” He nodded his head coming to sit next to me. He took my hand in his and I wrapped one of them around the hot chocolate. I saw the toasted breakfast sandwich in front of me as well.

“What has been bothering you as of late mien starchen? You have been pulling away from me and it is very troublesome.” I sighed a little bit knowing that it was now or never. I couldn’t keep living like this, where I was hiding who I truly was inside of me.

“Uncle Ludwig, I think there’s something you should know about me… I’m gay. Gosalyn is my girlfriend. We’ve been dating for the past month and a half.” He slowly set down his cup of cocoa that he had made for himself and turned to me.

“Zat’s what all ze crocodile tears were for? Oh starchen I already knew that. Why else do you think I have been giving you so much reading material based upon things that aren’t straight laced? I wanted you to tell me on your own terms and you did. I am so proud of you, my little shining star…” He praised and I looked up at him with my eyes full of tears.

“You aren’t angry with me?” He shook his head fervently putting my cup down for me so I could bury my head into his shoulder.

“Sabrina I have never once in my entire life been angry with you. Zat’s just not humanly possible. You are far too lovable for me to ever hate you. I first picked out Fun Home because I thought zat you would find it to be interesting. I knew when I read your report on that book how true to you it really was.” He reminded me of the graphic novel that he had given me earlier on in the year. That was before Gosalyn and I had even officially started dating. I had known that I was very much gay for her but had no way of knowing if she actually felt the same way about me or not.

“You knew even then? That was when I had just figured out that my brother’s teasing me about Gos being my girlfriend hit a little bit too close to home for me. I thought that you’d be angry with me. You were always encouraging me to find myself but I was just so scared that I’d lose you for good.” I chocked back a sob and he just thumbed along my cheek with a small smile on his face.

“I’ve never not told you to be anything other than yourself. That’s ze reason that you continued to amaze me starchen. I’ve been calling you my star since you were a newly hatched egg. You were always uniquely your own person. Somebody zat continued to amaze me every day that she spent with me.” He nuzzled his beak against mine in a loving gesture. His eyes full of determination to make me believe that he was telling me what he truly felt.

“Th-Thank you uncle Ludwig, for always being there for me…” He laughed softly, that same laugh that always sent warmth and happiness down to my bones.

“I should be the one thanking you starchen. What’s about we go shopping a little bit later? I’m supposed to pick up ze dessert for tonight and I have an idea.” He told me and I blinked in confusion as he got out his computer and pulled up the local bakery.

“Ze colors of the lesbian flag are dark purple, a lighter shade of purple, an even lighter shade of purple, white, light orange, orange, and red correct?” I nodded my head as he plugged in all the numbers into the bakery website and I saw the beautiful cake that he had inside of his head.

“Uncle Ludwig…” I trailed off and he just smiled softly at me squeezing my hand with a small smile on his face.

“It is ze least that I could do for my amazing niece. I am so proud of you for coming to me about this starchen. I know how scary and how nerve-racking that must have been for you.” He encouraged me and I melted into the affectionate touch of his warm and soothing presence. This library always felt like my second home. I picked up my two books that were on his desk and read the descriptions on the back of them.

“Slaughterhouse Five? What’s that mean? Wasn’t Vonngeunt a prisoner in WWII?” Uncle Ludwig nodded his head since I had remembered that from last week’s lecture that he had given to me about the author.

“Zat’s what inspired zat novel. He was trying to make sense of humanity.” My heart broke for the poor man that had been through so much.

“Now I remember you telling me about that when I asked about the other poster in your room.” I nodded my head at the memory and he just smiled softly at me taking the books from me.

“How about we have ze free day of ze month today?” Every month he would give me one free day to either research something that I was interested in or we would just spend it together.

“But that’s supposed to be next week…” He just laughed at me, that laugh that I loved so much for how open and unique it was.

“It might be next week officially on your calendar but I would much rather do something fun with you today. If you want to do something productive with your day with me then I do have an assignment for you to research for next week. I want you to make me a powerpoint.” He went over to the front of the room and struggled to pull down his projector.

“Do you need help?” I asked him through my giggles but he just gave one final pull that left him flat on his face and his glasses askew.

“If it means anything I asked.” I joked and he just sighed heavily at me as he adjusted his glasses and I looked at the projector seeing a powerpoint about Marie Curie.

“I want you to make me a presentation about your hero. I know zat you have many like I do but I decided eventually to just go with the one that I knew the most about so Marie Curie was the one I chose.” I looked up at him and his powerpoint about the woman that discovered radiation.

“It doesn’t have to be a woman but I would prefer for it to be. It also doesn’t need to be science related but I was trying to find one for my special interest.” I listened to the criteria that my uncle was looking for when I made this powerpoint. Every month he would have me do one on a topic that he was interested in.

“Ursula K Le Guin…” I trailed off and he just smiled softly at me kissing my forehead with a small smile on his face.

“Of course you would pick the author of your favorite books. I would prefer it if you did it based off of things that you already know about her so that you won’t have to waste too much time on zis. I just thought that it would make you happy because you’ve been so stressed and anxious lately.” He encouraged me and I looked at his powerpoint going through the slides.

“I’ve got it! Thank you for this uncle, this means a lot to me. I’ll make an amazing powerpoint.” He laughed at me taking his cup of coco.

“I know you will starchen you always do. Here you go, these are also going to be your assignments for the rest of the week. There is extra calculous but I know zat you’ll also do the ze best you can.” Uncle Ludwig sat down next to me and clinked his cup with mine.

“I’ll have Hue help me if I need it. I need help with math usually it’s just a struggle for me most of the time. I prefer algebra because that’s more like doing a puzzle.” I reasoned and he stood up going over to his puzzle shelf.

“I recently got a new puzzle and I wanted to do it with you.” He stood up on his ladder getting what he was looking for and he waved his new puzzle around.

“Oh that sounds like fun! I’d love to make that one with you.” I smiled softly at my uncle as he dragged a clean table over and I took my sandwich. I looked over at the front of the box and smiled softly when I realized that it was an outdoor one with a waterfall. I always preferred the outdoor puzzles as opposed to ones that were themed to indoors.

“Hold on, let me get some music.” He went over to his old fashioned record player as I looked at the front cover of the puzzle box and set it up so that I could easily look back up at the object.

“Zat’s better now we can have some background noise. Good job getting it all set up starchen!!” He encouraged me and I smiled softly at him shaking my head.

“I just did what you would have done and what you taught me to do when dealing with puzzles.” He leaned his head against my shoulder and I just sighed a little bit. No matter how exhausting he could be I still loved my uncle more than anything in the entire world.

“I think zat we should glue this one and zen hang it up.” I nodded my head. It looked like it would be a really beautiful picture when it was all finished so I knew that he made a good point.

“I’ll help you to find the perfect place for it. This library is getting really busy with lots of things going on.” I teased him lightly as I found the perfect spot for the puzzle piece in front of me pressing it lightly into the square next to it.

“Excuse you, zis library is perfectly organized.” I quirked an eyebrow up at him gesturing with my wings to the room around me.

“What part of this is organized? I just helped you organize this chaos last month during free day how is it already like this?” My uncle just laughed a little bit to himself and I sighed. He would continue to have his library be an organized disaster where nobody knew where anything was but him. I was amazed that he still remembered where things were half of the time.

“I know it’s a problem starchen but I like my library the way that it is. Even if it’s messy and unorganized it feels more lived in this way.” He reasoned and I sighed a little bit knowing that there was no way that I’d make him feel any different.

“Zis one goes here I think…” My uncle pressed the piece against the one where he thought that it fit and it slid perfectly into place.

“I started another anime with Lou. It’s a science show, it’s really, really good.” I mentioned off handedly to my uncle. He was always interested in what I was watching and we had watched FullMetal Alchemist together in German something that was actually a lot of fun.

“What’s it called?” I could tell that he was genuinely excited, as he always was when the idea of science was brought up.

“It’s called Dr Stone. The story is about how one day the entire world turned to stone. 30,000 years into the future the main character Senku unfroze and he’s trying to get the world back to where it was in the modern society. He finds this village of people that are already living there and dubs that his kingdom of science and that’s how he gets society back onto it’s feet.” I explained the plot of the show and he listened to me intrigued.

“Zat sounds extremely interesting!! I will have to give it a watch and see if it can apply to what we are learning together.” My heart melted at the idea that he wanted to make some of the science that we did based on the show that had recently captured my interest. We had studied alchemy for months for fun after I had finished FullMetal and he got me all the volumes of the manga for my birthday.

“Thank you uncle Ludwig. That sounds like fun. There are experiments that Senku makes and explains how he does on the show so we’ll have to see if they work in the real world.” I melted into the warmth of the atmosphere that I was in at the moment.

“What else have you been doing with your siblings?” He asked me curiously and I got out my phone showing me the latest science project that I had helped Dewey make.

“Dew is going out for basketball again this year he’s getting really genuinely good at it. I love practicing with him he’s been teaching me how to play and everything. It’s a lot of fun! Plus you’re always going on about how I need to exercise more and that’s a fun way to do it. Hue is working to be a camp counselor this year for the Junior Woodchucks. Louie and I have been mostly playing Animal Crossing together.” Uncle Ludwig put his arm around my shoulders with a small smile on his face. He listened to me and paid attention to everything that was going on in my life.

“Animal Crossing is ze cute one right?” I nodded my head with a small smile on my face showing him a screen shot of my favorite villager.

“This is Dora. My brother and I both got lucky enough to have her on our islands. She’s a bookworm but is adorable. Every one of the characters has a little catchphrase that they use, her’s is squeaky.” I tried to explain to him but he just blinked at me in confusion.

“Hold on, I’ll show you! I already logged on this morning.” I turned on my yellow switch with a small smile on my face doing the familiar three taps and running around my island.

“Your island is called Magnolia?” I nodded my head with a small laugh rubbing the back of my neck a little bit.

“It’s a guilty pleasure show that my brother watches with me sometimes, it’s a fantasy magic anime called Fairy Tail. I thought that the name of the town was just adorable so I took it for the name of my island.” I kicked my webbed feet back and forth and found Dora.

“This is Dora, she’s a dorm mouse. She’s not the serious social type but she loves reading books and other things like that.” I went over to her and she did her catchphrase and I saw the realization go off on his face.

“Oh zat is quite adorable!! I can see why your brother and you have been so bonkers over this game.” I laughed a little bit because that was a way of describing things that only my uncle could do.

“Alright sorry for that little distraction let’s get back to work.” I cheered and he just smiled softly at me when I leaned against his side.

“We shall have to go out to ze mall later zis afternoon because I want to pick up a little something for you. A little surprise.” My heart started to beat more rapidly as I texted Gosalyn to let her know that everything had gone according to my plan that I made.

“What is it? What is it? What is it?” I asked him rapidly and he just laughed at me. He shook his head pressing a wing to his beck.

“That is for me to be knowing and for you to find out in a few hours. I still want to spend time with you in my own home.” He reminded me lightly squeezing my arm lightly where his was linked through. I pressed another piece of the puzzle into it’s rightful spot.

“Good job starchen!! You truly are a master of puzzles and thinking things through. I used to really struggle with zis when I was your age. They annoyed me because they took too much of my time.” I laughed a little bit at the idea of my uncle’s frustration. He used to be annoyed by a lot of things when he was younger before thankfully mellowing out as the years went on.

“I like things that help my brain to work. It’s why I love algebra, puzzles, and knitting so much. It’s busywork for my brain and it appreciates being used the way that it was intended.” I leaned a little bit further into his side just enjoying the quieter moments between us.

“Can I ask you a question starchen?” I made a soft sound that I was listening to him as I put another piece into it’s spot.

“Did you always feel zis way about Gosalyn? Or was it recent?” So, we were going to talk about the massive elephant in the room.

“It wasn’t the second I met her if that’s what you’re wondering. It was more of something that happened over time. If I had to put a specific time on my feelings for her I’d say New Years. Something changed around the holiday when I went to go and visit her with Launchpad. There was always just something about her that was different for me. I realized after that trip it was that she was just beautiful. There was no other rhyme or reason about it she just was. I feel like I can be myself around her and she won’t judge me for it or anything like that. I love her uncle…” My uncle looked at me with tears in his eyes and he wiped them away.

“Look at me, getting all emotional over my niece’s first brush with ze feelings. I knew zat there was something between ze two of you from the first second you told me about her. Your eyes just sort of went all soft and sparkly.” I handed him a handkerchief and he just smiled gratefully at me drying his eyes with the object.

“Zis is what I’ve always wanted for you. For you to feel comfortable enough to be with somebody else and to be happy.” He reminded me lightly and I looked up at him with a surprised expression on my face. I put my arm supportively around his shoulders.

“I didn’t think that it would ever happen to me if I’m being entirely honest. I have never felt this way about anyone else before. Not man, not woman, just Gosalyn. I know that I’m a lesbian because boys have just never done it for me. All of my fictional crushes have been on the same gender. Ever since I was little so there was always that little thing about me that was different. I just want to make her happy uncle. She’s everything that I’ve ever wanted.” He lightly kissed my forehead in understanding. I drank the rest of my hot chocolate that was in front of me.

“Do you want ze refill?” I nodded my head knowing that it would be too much sugar for me but I still wanted the extra pep anyways. I checked my phone seeing the encouraging response from Gosalyn that she was proud of me and that she loved me.

“There’s the happy smile that I was talking about. It lights up ze room. That’s how I had a feeling of what you were keeping from me.” I smiled a little bit sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck. The feeling of comfort and family always remained when I was here. It never failed to bring me back to my childhood since I spent so much of it sitting in these chairs, doing puzzles, drinking homemade hot chocolate, and just learning all that I could from my uncle in these chairs. I had spent my whole childhood coming here on the weekends and reading with him.

“I think that my brothers already know as well. They know me a bit too well, especially Louie. He’s definitely onto me and my attitude changes as of late. They’ve always called Gosalyn my girlfriend anyways as a joke.” My uncle thumbed a finger around my shoulder with an understanding smile on his face.

“But to you, zis is not a joking matter. You’re afraid zat they will make jokes about it.” I nodded my head and he just smiled at me.

“They won’t. Your brothers care about you more than anything in ze whole world. They do try and make jokes but they will see how important this is to you.” He reasoned and I smiled softly at my uncle who had only ever tried to encourage me to be myself.

“Thanks uncle, for helping me. That means more than you can ever know. You’ve always been so patient with me whenever my brain was running a million miles an hour.” I thanked him and he just kissed my forehead understandingly.

“You’ll always have me by your side starchen I promise. Nothing could ever tear me from it. Especially not a silly little nothing like what sexuality you would prefer to date. This is just another part of you that makes you wonderful. Zere is nothing wrong with it. You are perfectly normal.” Uncle Ludwig reminded me lightly pressing another piece into the puzzle as tears filled my eyes.

“You have no idea how much I needed to hear those words from you… to hear that you still accepted me even as this person that I am.” He just thumbed my tears away lightly making sure that there wasn’t anything that was wrong with me.

“Oh starchen don’t you start ze crying. Because if you start crying zen I’m going to start crying and then we’ll just have one big old mess.” I laughed watery at my uncle as I shook my head and just tried to stop the tears that badly wanted to flow like rain water.

“What other series have you been watching with Louie?” He asked me and I pressed another piece of the puzzle together.

“That’s really about it lately, it’s just been a lot of Dr Stone. I’m rewatching FullMetal for what feels like the trillionth time though. That’s been helping me out a lot through this whole process. I want to show it to Gosalyn.” I mentioned off handedly and my uncle nodded his head in understanding at the mention of my favorite show.

“Zat show is a big part of who you are. I recommend zat you do it because it’ll make her happy. Your sharing that part of your life with her.” I smiled softly thinking about how my girlfriend would react to me wanting to show her my favorite show.

“I think that she’d enjoy it. I’m still trying to get her through the whole Miyazaki library.” I laughed rubbing the back of my ponytail.

“Understandable, zos are some of your favorite movies. How many has she seen so far?” He asked me and I got out my phone to show him my list of movies.

“She’s gotten all the way through Howl’s Moving Castle. The next one that I want to show her is Ponyo. It’s okay, you took me to see that one remember? It was his rendition of The Little Mermaid.” I reminded him lightly of the fairy tale that he had taken me to see.

“I remember zat one… zat was a weird one.” I laughed a little bit at him as he pressed another into it’s rightful spot.

“It was a little bit strange but I don’t know. I still enjoyed it and thought that it was really cute. The first brush with love between the two younger main characters made it easier for me to swallow and less weird.” I reasoned since I would always have a soft spot for anything that he made. His movies had this ability to take me into another world and the older that I got the more I found myself getting lost in it.

“Your favorite is still ze Moving Castle yes?” I nodded my head getting out my sketchbook and showing him the latest painting that I had made.

“Oh starchen… it’s the most beautiful thing zat I have ever seen. You painted this all from your own memory?” I nodded my head playing with the hem of my ponytail ribbon a little bit nervously. I always got self conscious when I was showing something that I made, especially when that something was artwork.

“I figured that I’ve seen the movie enough times that I should know it like the back of my hand by now. I’ve always loved Howl’s secret garden and there was something about that always called out to me. I decided to paint it a few days ago and I just finished it last night.” My uncle carefully tore the page out of my sketchbook and scurried around his library.

“Where is zat empty frame…” He muttered to himself and he found the offending object that was hiding from his line of sight.

“I shall help you hang this when we go to McDuck manor for dinner tonight. This is something that you should be very proud of Sabrina. It is obvious that you worked extremely hard on it and long hours as well. I love it.” He praised and I just smiled softly at him looking at the frame. For the first time in a long time I thought proud of something that I had accomplished.

“I do too. It was fun for the first time in a while I enjoyed the painting process. It’s also one of the largest paintings that I’ve probably ever made as well.” He held it up in front of him and he just lightly thumbed over my shoulder.

“Then zat is progress!! I know zis is not something that you are very good at, taking ze praise. I’m often too good at it and my head gets too big.” I smiled softly adjusting my uncle’s spectacles on his face with a small smile.

“You do but that’s just a part of your lovable charm uncle. I know that you’ve worked on getting your ego trimmed down to size these last few years and I’m proud of you.” I reminded him for all the hard work that I knew he had done in order to get everything squared away.

“I think the last few inventions going slightly off the rails have rather helped to trim down my ego.” I smiled sadly at him squeezing his hand.

“You’re getting a little bit older and that’s okay. You have enough money to live comfortably. It doesn’t matter that the instant bandaid dispenser bit you in the ass metaphorically speaking. The apple peeler and hot chocolate maker still work!” I pushed a little bit further trying to hear that ho-ho-ho laugh that I loved so dearly. When I heard I instantly felt better.

“You are right starchen everything that I’ve made that worked these last few years has been something for you.” I settled against the back of the couch putting my cup of finished hot chocolate onto his table and taking the small side of fruit that was next to my sandwich.

“I put some nectarines into zat, it should be good. I got zem from ze farmers market ze other day. I also got you ze kettle corn. You can have it when I drop you off back at the manor.” I cheered at the mention of my favorite sweet/salty treat that I always shared with Dewey for our movie nights.

“Thanks uncle Ludwig, your contribution for me and Dew’s movie nights will be greatly appreciated.” I teased lightly and he just huffed a small sigh.

“Have you two been getting along better still?” I nodded my head getting out my phone and showing him the picture that Huey had taken of me asleep on my brother’s shoulder from yesterday’s movie night.

“We meet up once a week for movie nights still. They’re going rather well we switch off weeks so he just went yesterday. I get to go next week to have my movies that I want to watch. I still have no idea what I want to watch.” I shrugged my shoulders and my uncle just listened to me talk about the further development with the brother that had given me the most grief growing up.

“I’m glad zat you two seem to have worked out your issues as you got older. I told you zat he just needed to grow up and into himself before he realized what a mistake zat he was making.” I leaned against the couch kicking my legs back and forth.

“It’s the little things that he does that surprise me. Things like remembering my drink preference, my snack preference, and things like that. He used to not care about me at all so the little signs that he does now, they make me happy.” My relationship with my blue clad brother had come a long way from where it started.

“I am proud of you for working so hard to fix things with your brother. I know zat he hasn’t always made things easier for you to deal with. Zat’s why I’m proud of him for working so hard to mend what was broken.” My uncle reasoned with an understanding smile on his face and I looked over at him with a small question in my gaze.

“Now we’re talking about you and uncle Scrooge. I know that you two have had your disagreements and that he can be awful a lot of the time but deep down he cares about everyone in his life. Including you.” I reminded him lightly nudging his shoulder with a small smile on my face.

“You are right starchen I was referring to your other uncle. We’ve disagreed a lot over the course of my marriage to his sister but through it all he’s at least tried to be there for me since you came into his life.” I listened to him talk about my other uncle that was sitting back at home in his mansion.

“He’s been trying to get to know me a little bit better over these last years. I’m happy living with him I really am. Adventure is always right around the corner for me and that’s part of the fun of the thing for me. I love adventure and I’ve always wanted to have my own. When I was younger I was satisfied with just reading fantasy novels but then I wanted to have my own.” I leaned my head against his side lightly as I talked about the dream that I had when I was younger.

“I know zat was your ultimate goal in life was ago lead your own adventure. I’m just happy zat you were able to achieve it.” He encouraged me the same way that he always had but with that kindhearted edge that he did everything else.

“I think that I’ve learned a lot underneath uncle Scrooge. About how to handle myself and get myself out of a bad situation. I admired that a lot about Webby at first.” My uncle got up from the sofa taking the plates downstairs and came back checking his pocket watch.

“We shall need to go in a little while to hit everything that we want to. The bakery said zat the cake wouldn’t take too long actually. Zey have done that sort of thing before I presume.” I couldn’t help the tears in my eyes as I quickly dried them away.

“Thank you again uncle Ludwig, for the cake and for everything else that you’ve done for me.” I thanked him and he just lightly ruffled my hair with a small smile.

“It is no need for ze thanking. Not if I wanted to do it and if I wanted to see your little face light up with happiness.” He reasoned with a small smile on his face as he sat down next to me and I put one last piece into the puzzle.

“So where exactly are we going on this extravaganza?” I asked him and he just smiled softly at me gathering his own satchel that matched my own.

“Just to ze mall. Zere are some things that I want to pick out for you.” I cocked my head to the side but shrugged it off just wanting to see where this day would get me.

“I’ll take these books with me as well. I’ll probably start reading one of them in the car.” I saw my uncle smile softly at me kissing my forehead.

“Don’t give yourself ze migraine. Zat will not help you out in ze future. You need to be on your best health for dinner tonight.” I sighed a little bit knowing my uncle was right but not wanting to admit defeat. I didn’t want to have this talk with my other uncles, Daisy, or my brothers. What if they didn’t like what they saw or what they heard?

“I know zat you are nervous about it. But sometimes ze things that we are most nervous about are ze things that we need to ze most. You can do zis. I know zat you can.” He encouraged me with an understanding smile on his face. He squeezed my hand softly and I just sighed.

“Okay you’re right as usual.” He laughed at me in his typical fashion that lit me up inside. I grabbed my yellow satchel that had everything that I needed inside of it.

“You forget starchen I’m right all the time. It’s just zat you and I think about things in a different way than everybody else.” I laughed a little bit at him taking the books anyways and finding them a safe spot inside of my backpack.

“Yeah, yeah I know. I’ll remind you of that the next time that you wear those crazy goggles.” I teased a little bit and he just stuck his tongue childishly at me.

“Zey protect me from ze sparks we’ve talked about zis.” I laughed openly at him as he held the door to the library for me.

“I know I’m just messing with you uncle. Come on, it’s already nearly afternoon and the mall is kinda far from here.” I reminded him lightly knowing not knowing where in the world he had planned on taking the two of us yet.

“It’s just a few errands some things for tonight that I can help you hang up in your bedroom.” I got into his old car that smelled like so many afternoons spent together. I remembered when I was younger and he would take me to the aquarium and teach me about all the fish that were out there in the world.

“I haven’t taken you on an outing in a really long time. Not since you started your lessons with me.” He carefully pulled out of the driveway and I still wondered where in the world we were going and why it was to the mall.

“I missed our old outings. I remember when you used to take me to the aquarium and taught me about all the different kinds of fish that they have there.” I laughed a little bit at the memory since it was of something that seemed so simple.

“You were so cute when you were zat age. Not that you aren’t adorable now but it was different when you were younger. You used to look at everything with little stars in your eyes.” I smiled softly at my best friend and the uncle that had been there for me when I was younger. He was always there for me whenever I needed for him to be.

“I love you uncle Ludwig…” He smiled softly at me running a hand through the fringe that was at the front of my ponytail.

“I love you too so very much mein starchen.” He reminded me lightly as the red light turned green and I watched the rest of the world go by outside my car door. When I saw our large mall and I quickly was led behind him to a store that I had only ever seen before when I looked around with my brother’s.

“Uncle Ludwig… this is…” Pride store was written in bright booming colors at the top. I saw all the colors that were on the flags.

“Come on Sabrina, let’s get you some things for your bedroom.” He put his arm around my shoulders encouragingly.

“Hi! How can I help you both?” I heard the familiar sounds of Freedom ’90 instantly playing inside of the store.

“Hello ‘dere this is my great niece. She just came out to me and I wanted to get her some zings for her bedroom.” My uncle explained to her and I saw the worker’s eyes fill with tears as she looked away from me and a man sighed.

“Forgive my girlfriend, she can be a lot and very emotional. What exactly were you both looking for?” I saw a trans pin on his jacket and I instantly took a deep breath.

“I have a girlfriend in St. Canard. I’m a lesbian and I just came out to him earlier today. I’m doing the rest of my family over dinner tonight. He’s my great uncle and has been my teacher since I was younger.” I mentioned my relation to my uncle who was already looking at everything that he could.

“Is he, a lot?” I nodded my head with a small laugh just looking around my surroundings. The first thing that stood out to me was a lesbian pride flag that I could hang above my bed.

“Oh that’s a really popular pride flag! We make all our pride flags here in house if you wanted something unique written on it I can sew it on or my girlfriend can.” He told me with a small understanding smile getting the material down for me as I looked at it.

“It’s beautiful…” I trailed off but the worker got down another flag with a small smile on his face as he unwoven it in front of me.

“This one is for the feminine presenting lesbians out there. People like my girlfriend, it’s called femme. You look to be the type that puts a lot of care into your appearance so that’s why I think that this one suits you best.” He reasoned and I nodded my head feeling the texture of the flag. Even though I knew that nobody would know what this flag meant, I would. I’d have to explain it a lot more but I’d like that. I wanted to be open about my sexuality and the way that it made me feel personally.

“What’s that you zere?” My uncle asked me and I showed him the two flags that I had found for my bedroom.

“That’s the stereotypical lesbian flag right there and that’s the femme flag sir. What that means is that’s what my girlfriend identifies as. It’s the lesbians that put a lot of care and love into their appearance. She can’t leave the house and come to the store if she’s not looking her absolute best.” The woman in question put her hands on her hips.

“I see how it is, you’re just going to trash talk me. Well I’m not falling for it mister. Come here sweetie, let’s see if we can’t find some other things that you’ll enjoy.” The woman took my hand while my uncle looked at the flags before nodding his head.

“You’re very lucky, to have somebody who loves you that much. He’s willing to work to understand somebody that he’s not even that closely related to. He’s your great uncle?” I nodded my head with a small smile on my face.

“I know zat I’m lucky to have him. He’s taught me so much about understanding others and he’s always tried to understand me as well. He works really hard, he’s an inventor even if he’s way past his prime.” I explained about what he did for a living and she just listened to me.

“I think that’s amazing that he cares so much about his great niece. A lot of older people don’t really take the time to understand us youngsters and our orientations. I wanted to show you this! If I know a good femme when I see one you love stuffed animals right?” I nodded my head enthusiastically and she brought down a rainbow bear and a lesbian colored one.

“We also have really soft sweaters and long sleeved shirts for all the sexualities.” I looked at the lesbian one picking it up off the rack.

“I want this one, it’s really pretty.” The worker just smiled at me as I picked up that one and the femme bear that was soft to the touch.

“I think that your great uncle is getting both of those flags for you.” My heart melted seeing him at the cash register waving his hands around as he told eccentric stories.

“He can pretty much talk to anyone for three minutes and they’ll be friends. It’s one of the things that I’ve always admired about him.” I went over to him and he just lightly picked up the two things that I had found not even batting an eye as he paid for everything.

“Now zat’s out of ze way, let’s go to ze bakery and zen to ze manor.” I smiled softly at him as we went back to the car.

“You didn’t have to get me both of those flags uncle Ludwig…” I trailed off and he just smiled at me brightly.

“I did too, zey made you happy and what makes my niece happy I have to purchase. Zat’s the motto for today.” I smiled softly at him as we drove down to the bakery. The smell of sugar cookies, brownies and baked goods instantly hit my nose as I took a picture of the flag cookie to send to Gosalyn. I told myself that I would need to stop her before my flight next month to St. Conard so that me and her could try some.

“Starchen? I got ze goods, come along. It is time to meet up at the manor. Ze sun is nearly setting, time really does fly when you’re having fun.” I took the cake from him lightly carrying it out to the car where all the rest of the items were.

“Well we did spend most of the day shopping at the mall and doing that puzzle. We didn’t even come close to getting the puzzle a quarter of the way done. More for next time?” I offered and he nodded his head getting the car door for me.

“We will definitely do more of ze puzzle next time. I think zat you need a little bit of a break. We don’t want to tire your poor little brain out.” I chuckled lightly at him blowing the fringe out of my eyes. The drive to the manor was spent mostly in companionable silence. I saw Dewey practicing his basketball on the front driveway again.

“Hey Dew!” I waved to my younger brother and I watched as the ball went into the basket when my brother turned around.

“Hey!! How was your day, learn anything cool?” He asked me enthusiastically and I smiled softly at him. Recently his favorite thing had been me second hand teaching him things that would help him on his own homework.

“Sorry to say zat today was one of her free days where I don’t teach her anything. We have zem once a month so zat she can get a break and not overwork herself.” Dewey took the cake from my hands and tried to open it when I glared at him.

“No peaking at the dessert I see you. Stop that right now, the dessert is a surprise.” I warned him lightly taking it from him knowing that the curiosity would only make him want to look more.

“What could be so secret about cake?” I sighed a little bit playing with the hem of my dress skirt and he just put his arm around my shoulders.

“Want to tell me what’s been going on with you? You’re doing it again, closing yourself up into your own little shell. I thought that you weren’t going to do that again?” He reminded me and I just sighed heavily nodding my head.

“I’ll tell you once we’ve all seated for dinner. I want to tell this to everyone at one time. Uncle Ludwig already knows since I spent the day with him. The cake has something to do with that since I couldn’t stop him from buying it.” Dewey nodded his head in understanding lightly shoving my shoulder with a small smile.

“I think I already have a decent idea of what it is and I’m totally fine with it. If she makes you happy then that’s great. You deserve somebody that could make you happy. I’ve been questioning lately myself which sex I prefer as well. You might not be the only queer sibling.” He joked a little bit and I blinked at my brother as we went inside the manor. I saw uncle Ludwig get everything out of the car and discreetly carry it up to my bedroom.

“He bought you a bunch of things didn’t he?” I nodded my head with a small laugh rubbing the back of my neck with a small smile.

“Yeah that’s pretty much what happened. We spent hours at the mall today and he pretty much bought me an entire store. He spoils me a lot more than I deserve.” Dewey just laughed a little bit at me helping me to carry the cake into the kitchen.

“Hey Lou! I’m back you lazy bum, have you even moved today?” I teased lightly and he just flipped me off from the couch.

“How was your day?” I sat down next to him and I put my feet over his lap with a small smile on my face.

“It was good! I spent the day with uncle Ludwig and we did a lot of fun things together. Are you hungry yet?” He nodded his head putting up his switch for the day and stretching his arms with a small sigh as the joints popped.

“Dinner is ready family.” Uncle Donald called from the dining room and I just sighed a little bit. It was better to just do it now and get it over with. Ripping it off like a bandaid and then having their ridicule and judgement for the rest of my life if that’s what happened.

“Sabrina are you hungry?” Mrs. Beckley asked me and I nodded my head with a small smile on my my face.

“Yes I am! I haven’t eaten truly since breakfast today.” She led all of us into the dining room where my uncle Scrooge was sitting at the front of the table. I kissed his cheek with a small smile on my face.

“Hello lass, how was your day?” I nodded my head just sitting at the his right side with uncle Ludwig next to me.

“Do you want to hold my hand starchen?” My uncle murmured with a small smile in his face. I leaned my head against his shoulder with a small smile back.

“I know that a lot of you have been worried about me for the last month or so. I just want to let you know that there isn’t anything wrong with me living here. That’s not the problem. It has nothing to do with any of you. Family, I’m a lesbian. I’ve been dating Gosalyn for the last month and a half.” I admitted the thing that I had been hiding from everyone and I saw Dewey make a small fist bump.

“That’s it? That’s all that you wanted to tell us? Lass, we already figured that you had more than friendship feelings for your best friend. At least I did. What about you Donald?” My uncle Donald swept me into a big hug.

“Sabrina I’ve always loved you just the way that you were. The you that would hide herself away and read her books, the you that would play her violin only in the privacy of her own room, and the you that looked at Gosalyn like she hung you the moon stars. She makes you happy. I am so proud of you for telling me.” He encouraged me thumbing away the tears and my mom just wrapped her arms around the two of us tightly.

“I love you, so much Sabrina. There isn’t a thing wrong with you for feeling the way that you do about Gosalyn. Everyone in the world has someone that can match them. I genuinely think that she is yours.” My heart warmed into my chest and I looked over at Louie who had an understanding look in his eyes.

“I get why you kept it from us. You were scared that you would be rejected.” I nodded my head and Huey just ran to give me a tight hug.

“You’re still my favorite sibling sis, I’ll always think that you are. This is just another thing that I can add to the list of things about you that are amazing!” Huey had always been the brother that was closest to me and I watched Dewey bite his lower lip.

“She’s not the only one that’s not straight. I’m still trying to figure my sexuality out but I know that it isn’t just girls that I like.” Webby just squeezed my hand with a small smile. I knew that this was the happiest that I would ever be. Everyone in my family had accepted me the way that I wanted to be and the way that I was. And what in the world could have been better than that?

Too Many Close Calls

Fred and George return to the Burrow after realizing Ron’s been poisoned on his birthday, and Bill is freaking out. (I read a request somewhere about there not being enough fics of the Weasley siblings freaking out over Ron’s several near death experiences...so, here’s one!

**********************

Fred and George apparated to the Burrow after finding out their brother was in the hospital wing because he’d been poisoned on his seventeenth birthday. Molly and Arthur were still at Hogwarts, discussing matters with Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. Apparently it didn’t have anything to do with Order business because no meeting was called for that.

They found Bill sitting at the kitchen table with Fleur. “What’s happened?” Bill asked them. “Mum and Dad left in a hurry and didn’t explain anything, just told me to wait here like I was twelve again..”

“Ron was poisoned,” Fred said as he and George joined them at the table. 

“What?!” both Bill and Fleur exclaimed at the same time.

“What do you mean he’s been poisoned?! How can that even happen? Who would want to poison him?” Bill was demanding an explanation.

“We don’t know much more than you do, just what Harry was able to tell us when we got to the castle. We were waiting in Hogsmeade for the birthday boy and didn’t realize the trip had been canceled,” George said.

“Is he going to be alright?” Fleur asked.

“Yeah,” Fred said. “Apparently he ate some cauldron cakes that were spiked with our love potion. They were from Romilda Vane and intended for Harry, but Ron mistook them in his present pile.”

“He got so mad at Harry for not believing he was in love with Romilda that he punched him,” George sniggered.

“Good to know they work!” Fred complimented themselves as Bill gave them a look to get on with it. “Alright, alright. So Harry brought him down that ‘new’ potions teacher who mixed up an antidote that set him straight. When Ron came down off the high, the bloke offered everyone a round of mead that he’d intended to give as a gift, but never got around to it. Ron took a sip first and immediately went down.”

“I guess Harry had the idea of getting a bezoar, and his fast acting is the reason Ron’s going to be okay. He was sleeping when we went in to drop his present off,” George finished.

“Had to leave him a note with the gift, instead of being able to talk about it ourselves. Stupid git,” Fred muttered.

“That eez terrible,” Fleur said, shaking her head.

“I just don’t understand how Slughorn would have a poisoned bottle of mead..unless..” Bill said, thinking.

“Unless what?” the twins said in unison.

“Dad and Remus mentioned something Harry had said about someone out to get Dumbledore. He thinks it’s Malfoy, and that Snape’s helping him, but that would have been a really round about way to try and get to Dumbledore. I still can’t believe Ron could have died. Why would Mum and Dad not let me go with them?! He’s my brother! You guys were there, and Ginny’s at school..it’s not like I’m Charlie who’s in a different country!” He didn’t mention Percy. It wasn’t often that Bill was jealous of his siblings.

“Eh, it’s not the first time Ron’s been in a near death situation,” Fred said nonchalantly.

“What are you talking about? What else besides the Department of Mysteries last year?”

“And ze second task of ze Triwizard tournament,” Fleur added as Bill looked at her bleakly.

“Yeah, Department of Mysteries battle, being roped into the second task of the Triwizard tournament, he also got his leg broken when Sirius dragged him into the Shrieking Shack when he was after Pettigrew-” Fred started.

“- The whole chamber of secrets incident when he and Harry saved Ginny, and going after the Sorcerer’s stone and getting taken out by the chess match, that he still managed to win-” George cut in.

“-Don’t forget about the flying car in ‘92! Whomping Willow almost got them then!”

“Okay, you too, very funny. Where was the line drawn until you started making shite up?” Bill rolled his eyes.

Fred and George eyed each other. “Erm, we’re not,” Fred said.

“Yeah, all true. Swear on Merlin’s grave,” George said.

“How did I not know about all of this? Is he mental? How are you two NOT freaking out about this?” Bill was looking back and forther between the two of them, unable to discern their completely cool demeanor.

The twins shrugged. “ ‘S not like we’re not concerned,” George tried to explain. “Guess we’re just used to something crazy happening at least once a year. When you’re best mates with Harry freaking Potter, either they find the trouble, or the trouble finds them.” 

“Yeah, of course we’re worried about him, but he and Harry and Hermione, they’re...I don’t want to call it lucky. Should probably dead a couple times over now. Don’t know how they do it,” Fred reassured Bill.

“If not dead, how’ve they not been expelled.” George rolled his eyes.

“Gotta admit that Ron became much cooler when they flew the car to Hogwarts as second years. Even if they did almost get demolished by the Whomping Willow,” Fred acknowledged. “Why didn’t we think of that,” he said to himself.

“Don’t tell him we said that, though,” George said.

Bill looked dumbfounded at his brothers, not knowing how they were just acting like this was a normal occurrence. Well, maybe it was, but that didn’t mean it was right. “As much as you’re trying to reassure me right now, I’m not sure that it’s helping,” he said. Everything that’s happened until this point, hasn’t even been part of the war. Except for the Department of Mysteries. 

“But maybe it’s a good thing. You know he’s gonna be in the thick of everything. He wouldn’t leave Harry on his own,” George reasoned.

“Yeah, all this experience will help them. Who knows what’s going to happen next,” Fred said, giving George a worried look. 

“I should probably go write to Charlie. Somehow, I have a feeling he’s more out of the loop with all of this than I am.” Bill got up to head to his room. 

George looked at Fred. “Think we’re being too light about this?” 

Fred shrugged in response. “Maybe?”

“Well, he did almost die today,” Fleur abashed. 

“Oi! It’s not like we don’t care!” George defended.

“Yeah! Of course we care! He’s our brother!” Fred said hotly. “What d’ya say we go back to Hogwarts and wait for him to wake up, George?”

“That’s a brilliant idea, Fred! I’d quite like to see the look on his face with his present, anyway.” And with that, they left a bewildered Fleur at the table as the left to go apparate back to Hogsmeade.

The Music in Our Heart

@tsshipmonth2020

I actually updated two days in a row for once!

Day 16:  When your soulmate listens to music or is singing, you hear it in your own head as well. (I also made it so that any music you play on an instrument, your soulmate hears too.)

Warnings: Patton and Virgil have some negative thoughts but recognize them as such.

Word count: 2620

A/N: Virgil uses they/them pronouns; Logan uses ze/zir pronouns.

Summary: Roman is surprised out of his violin practice one day when he hears another violin joining him. Soon, he finds out that he fills out a soulbond of a string quartet.

Roman opened his violin case, absentmindedly humming his most recent concerto to himself. As he put his shoulder rest on the back of the violin, he was surprised to hear the first violin part joining into what he was playing.

Holy crap.

That would be his soulmate, wouldn’t it? And not only were they familiar with music, they appeared to know the specific part to the concerto, meaning that they were probably also a musician – a violin, given what part they knew.

Roman shook himself out of his thoughts, and quickly ruffled through the sheet music taking up most of the bookshelf. He picked out a violin duet – Bach – and began playing one of the parts.

His soulmate joined in with the other part after about a minute of playing. Roman could hear some mistakes and pauses, so it was probably something that they were playing themselves.

As they continued to play the rest of the duet, Roman felt a smile breaking out on his face. This would be fun.

***

Patton sighed as he put down his violin, frowning at the music in front of him. He hadn’t looked at this piece for a long time, and it showed. He’d missed so many of the accidentals…

Oh well. It was okay. His soulmate didn’t seem to care – they made it to the end together regardless.

He thought back to the concerto that his soulmate had been humming to themselves. It was probably something that they were working on – Patton knew that when he started a new piece, it got stuck in his head for weeks. Well, either weeks or until he got sick of practicing that one spot over and over to make it perfect.

Patton shook his head to himself. Focus. He would practice this piece after his soulmate was done with their practice, and he would make it perfect.

***

Virgil started in surprise as they suddenly heard a violin echo at the highest reaches of their range of hearing.

“Ow,” they muttered, but it didn’t actually hurt. They were more surprised than anything else, to be honest – most of the time, soulmates weren’t introduced with a note that high suddenly inserting itself into one’s head.

They put down their viola, tilting their head to listen more closely to their soulmate. It sounded like somebody practicing – so probably either their soulmate played violin, or they were listening to someone else practicing. Virgil was impressed by the skill in the piece – they didn’t know a lot about violin, since they hadn’t played since fourth or fifth grade, but they knew enough to know that the piece was impressive. Maybe only technically demanding in some spots, but still difficult and fun to listen to.

Suddenly, they were jolted out of their thoughts by another instrument joining into the music going through their head. It was another violin, it sounded like, and apparently the other person in their head could hear it too, as the previous music stopped. Then it started up again, harmonizing with the second violin to make a duet.

Virgil decided to find out if these people were in the same room as each other and only one of them was their soulmate, or if they were duetting through the bond. As they ruffled through their orchestra music to find a good piece, they tried to push away the thoughts in their head.

You’re making this up.

You’re not special enough to have a soulmate.

You know you can’t be loved.

They forcefully played the first few measures of the piece they had picked out, hearing both of the violins in their head stop suddenly. So they were both their soulmates, then.

They quickly played a scale, starting on their lowest string so that their soulmates would be aware of the fact that they played a viola, thanks very much, not a violin. When they finished, they heard two responding scales, confirming the fact that the other two were both violinists.

They rolled their eyes slightly, but smiled through it.

They could deal with the viola jokes. They’d been thinking up responses for years.

***

Logan put down zir bow as ze finished playing zir most recent piece. Ze frowned as ze leaned forward to correct a fingering and note a few accidentals that ze had missed.

Suddenly, ze was interrupted by a viola playing a familiar piece – not the same one, but one that Logan knew quite well. Ze was surprised by the music, but decided to play along; zir soulmate deserved to know that Logan actually could play, and see if zir soulmate was just listening to music or actually playing it.

The music paused for a minute as Logan synced up, but then continued. So this was actually zir soulmate playing.

As ze and zir soulmate finished their piece, ze heard another piece start up. This time it was two violins playing together. Logan frowned, confused. Did ze have four soulmates? Two, and one was playing a duet? Only the one, who was listening to a piece now?

Logan picked up zir bow, experimentally interrupting the duet. One of the violins stopped before the other, but they both stopped relatively quickly after Logan’s interruption.

So ze had three soulmates. This could be something ze could navigate.

***

Roman frowned as he came upon a stray page of string quartet music in his sheet music bookshelf. He absentmindedly began humming his part, thinking of the other three parts weaving in and out of the first violin’s melody line. He was surprised to hear another person humming along. It sounded like the viola part, but he couldn’t be certain.

He was surprised when a recording of the same piece began playing in his head. It seemed that it wasn’t the viola who was playing it, as they were still humming along to their part.

Suddenly, he heard the second violin very quietly join in, hesitantly plucking every few notes.

It seemed that they might be able to make a quartet out of their soulbond.

***

Patton grinned as he printed out the music for the quartet that his soulmates had started playing. His teacher had been suggesting that he look at the quartet for a chamber group he had thought about joining, so he was at least familiar with what the piece sounded like. He was so excited – the four of them might be able to find each other with the quartet!

He bit his lip nervously as the music finished printing out. This piece wasn’t too hard on its own, exactly, but- the recording that had played was… pretty fast, wasn’t it?

Patton shook the doubts out of his head. He’d just have to practice and work on increasing the tempo. Then he’d be able to play it with everyone else.

***

Virgil grinned as they heard a violin slowly practicing a run of notes. It sounded like it was a part of the quartet their collective soulbond had chosen to work on together – probably the second violin, based on the pitch of the notes. They’d heard that soulmate practicing a lot, recently; usually the quartet, but sometimes the duet that they had played with the other violin. Virgil was a little worried that their soulmate would overwork themselves, but they had to trust that they knew what they were doing.

When their soulmate had stopped playing for about ten minutes, they got out their viola, ready to practice both their orchestra music and their quartet. And if their soulmates decided to turn it into a group rehearsal? Well, they definitely wouldn’t complain.

***

Logan let out a rare grin as ze finished running through the quartet. Ze had joined the soulbond’s first violin in practicing the group’s piece. It had been a unique experience being able to practice with different members of the group; Logan thought that ze probably had a better grasp on how zir part fit in with everyone else’s. It had been an experience that ze wanted to replicate again, if at all possible.

Suddenly, ze heard the second violin play a scale, switching to an arpeggio after a few runs up and down the violin. The viola joined in.

A group rehearsal sounded… quite enjoyable for today.

***

Roman had decided to practice outside today. He was in the middle of a park, with relatively few people passing by him. He knew it was a bit strange to play outside, especially when his pieces were less-than-perfect, but he didn’t really care. It was nice, sometimes, to hear his pieces in a different space.

Suddenly, he realized that there was someone who had been watching him for the last few minutes as he played through his piece. He put his violin down, raising his hand to greet the other person.

“Hello, can I do anything for you?” Roman called out. They came closer. They were wearing a black polo shirt, a blue striped tie, and a galaxy-printed skirt.

“Possibly. I am Logan, I use ze/zir pronouns. I was just wondering… by any chance, are you in a soulbond with another violinist, a violist, and a cellist?”

Roman paused, taking the other person in. “I… yes. May I ask how you knew?” Roman had a feeling he knew how ze had known, but he wanted it confirmed.

“You may. I am in a soulbond with two violinists and a violist, and one of the violinists is playing pieces identical to the ones you were practicing today. I noticed that they were echoing in my head, and I wanted to confirm my suspicions.”

Roman grinned, switching his violin and bow to the same hand to he could leave the other hand available for a handshake. Logan took it, a small smile spreading across zir face.

“I look forward to getting to know you.”

***

Patton had noticed that the cellist and the other violinist of their group had started playing duets together. He was happy to listen to the music; he enjoyed what they picked out. He was relatively sure that they had met in person, and were nitpicking the pieces together; the small pieces of duet that were played over and over together were a pretty big indicator of that.

He had to constantly remind himself, with the help of his therapist, that just because they met first didn’t mean that he was any less than them or less meant for them. It just meant that they were in the same place at the same time, and one of them was listening to or playing music that was easily recognizable.

He was working on it.

Patton was taking a break from his schoolwork, walking around the block a few times to get himself fresh air. He had gotten frustrated with the assignment, so had decided to give himself a little time to reset.

He was bobbing his head along to something that one of his soulmates was listening to – something by Panic! at the Disco, he was pretty sure. It was always funny trying to figure out who was listening to what; he was pretty sure that this was the cellist listening to this, but he wasn’t positive.

Suddenly, he ran into somebody on the sidewalk, knocking them down.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” he said, putting his hand out to help the other person up. They took it and stood up, pulling their earbud out of their ear. The music that Patton heard through the bond suddenly got much quieter. He could hear it playing distantly through the earbud. His eyes widened.

“Oh my goodness.”

The other person looked at him weirdly. Patton scrambled to explain.

“No, it’s just that- well. I think maybe you’re one of my soulmates?”

The other person’s eyes widened. “I- wow. Um. Okay. Uh- Wow. Wasn’t expecting this.” They fidgeted with their earbuds, wrapping them around his hands and pulling them through his fingers. “Um. I play viola? I have two violinist soulmates and a cellist?”

Patton squealed, bouncing on his toes. “Yes! I’m a violin, I have a violin and a cello too! And you’re the viola, I guess?”

The other person smiled a little bit. “Yeah, I guess. My name’s Virgil. They/them pronouns.”

Patton grinned. “Patton, he/him.”

Virgil tilted their head. “Can I ask- do you play the same part all of the time? Or do you play first on one piece and second on the other? Or how does that work?”

Patton offered a hand so that they could walk together on the sidewalk. Virgil shyly took it, interlacing their hands. “I play second, most of the time. Sometimes in orchestra I play first, or in chamber when someone’s gone, but for our stuff I’m on second.”

Virgil nodded, seeming to take note of the information.

“Do you like it?”

Patton tilted his head. “It’s easier than working out all of those notes in the stratosphere, for sure. And I like listening to all the high notes, and helping the whole piece come together.”

Virgil squeezed his hand. “See, I thought that was why people switched to viola.”

“No way am I doing that. All of the viola jokes? No thanks.”

Virgil ducked their head. “Eventually, you get used to them. You even start to think of comebacks to rag on the violins.”

“Really?”

“What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?”

Patton hesitated. “…I don’t know, what?”

“There isn’t one. Violinists’ heads are just bigger.”

Patton burst out laughing. Virgil smiled proudly to himself, looking at the sidewalk. He could see how he would come to love Patton.

***

Virgil squeezed Patton’s hand where it was interlaced with theirs, swinging their hands between the two of them. Patton grinned at them.

“Can I kiss your cheek?” Patton asked. Virgil wasn’t comfortable with a lot of PDA, but sometimes they were okay with smaller shows of affection. They knew that Patton would only ask if he really wanted to, but he would also accept a negative answer.

“That’s fine,” they said. Patton let out an excited noise, leaning over to gently peck Virgil on the cheek. They blushed but held on to Patton’s hand even tighter.

Patton bounced his head along to the beat in his head. Virgil noticed that their steps had unknowingly synced to the beat as well. They tilted their head, trying to listen to the song a little closer.

“That sounds like something from a musical,” Patton said, trying and failing to find the melody line to hum along. Virgil snapped their fingers in recognition.

“Yes. It’s from Wicked – Defying Gravity, I think. I’ve never heard it sung by a lower voice, but I like the way it sounds.”

Patton let out a quiet ohhhh. Suddenly, Virgil realized that they were also hearing the song outside of their head.

“Hey, Patton?”

“Yeah?” He looked curiously at Virgil.

“Is it just me, or do you hear that in real life too?”

Patton stopped walking, listening for a moment. A wide smile spread across his face. “Let’s go find it!”

***

Logan watched Roman to cue the rest of the quartet in. As Roman settled his violin on his shoulder and his bow on the strings, the other three did the same.

Roman cued the group to start, and Virgil and Patton began to play, a steady beat that set the tempo for the piece. Logan joined in, lower plucked notes adding to the texture of the piece. Roman’s higher, fluttery notes were the last part of the puzzle, rounding out the quartet.

Logan looked around at zir soulmates over zir music, seeing them playing their instruments together, feeling a love rush through zir limbs that ze didn’t know was possible.

In case anyone’s interested: 

Roman’s concerto: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yteXc85mK_Y (he plays the first movement, until about 8:07 in this version)

Roman and Patton’s duet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm6XvKBp1e4

Logan’s solo piece: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5U62RPySYY

The piece Virgil plays that Logan joins in on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wISN_hJSCPE (the first movement, until about 2:40)

The quartet that they play together: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxtAHpYIXdU (last movement, starting at 20:00)

thoughts on emotions

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or psychotherapist. I cannot tell you if you have a mental illness. I have been diagnosed before, however, so if you relate to the sections on anxiety/depression, you may wish to seek out a therapist. 

Also, preface: not everyone feels the same way! Emotions are so individualistic! I am making this post because I know a lot of my friends do not understand what emotions are or how to describe what they are feeling. That may seem very stupid to some of you, because I’m sure plenty of you cannot relate, but please be kind and save that criticism for yourself.  

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When I am annoyed I am usually extra muted and walk away. Unless someone is loud and I can’t just leave because it’s school or something. Then I go straight to my headphones and blast classical music if it’s more appropriate than leaving. When other people are annoyed, they might be more vocal or glaring. I’m just very avoidant. 

I don’t consider myself to be prone to being too mad. When I do get mad, I do become a glaring person. If I’m cornered, I probably will start to yell. I don’t really get physical and certainly don’t initiate it in a fight. Becoming mad is such a build up process for me, however, and I really only feel it when around intensely emotionally charged people who are trying to coerce me. But then there is “protective of other people mad” and that is what we call “outwardly-polite but firm yet internally burning RAGE”. 

When I’m sad, I usually don’t notice unless there’s an issue with chest pain and then I’m like “oh, I am sad?”. And when that happens, I just kinda take myself somewhere quiet and let myself think about what caused this sadness and how to “fix” it. When I’m more noticeably sad, I usually am alone and grieving about death or something. I’ve learned to be a bit more okay with crying in front of people, again, in more serious situations, at which point people have learned to just let me cry without making me talk or talking to me.

Guilt? I’m not super sure about this one. I think what guilt looks like to me is usually just thinking over and over “you have to tell someone this”.I’m mostly a very honest person to start with so guilt isn’t often a huge issue because I take the steps to sort it out before it happens. 

When it comes to fear, I usually skip altogether and jump into anxiety/paranoia. I’m not really afraid in life-threatening situations. I mostly am cool-headed and figure out how to get out of it. I will legit be like “oh, that person pulled a knife on me, guess I should walk away and tell someone? *shrug*”. It’s happened before. 

Anxiety is one of those things you  can tell is happening to you. You focus on something and can’t stop thinking about all the bad things that are going to come of it. I start to tremble, my stomach gets knotted up and I feel like I have food poisoning or a fever or something so I usually complain about being sick. This ties a lot into paranoia but with paranoia, for me at least, I can generally be like “okay, I need to calm down for a moment and see if I am being rational in my reaction/cynicism”. 

Depression is different from being generically sad. When it’s more mild, it’s like not wanting to get up from your bed and having no real motivation to do anything. To eat, to shower, anything. This is already something I often have difficulty with anyway as self-care is generally draining on me in a sort-of theoretical way (obviously, it’s not actually, but just mentally it is). Generally, in other people, depression manifests as not wanting to do absolutely anything, but I can always find it in myself to write at least. Usually, for me, it’s more like a complete refusal to put any energy into myself or interacting with my environment for an extended period of time. I really distance myself from people and then start to get emotionally unstable because of it. When it becomes worse, sometimes it comes in the form of crying every day for no particular reason and experience a lot of suicidal thoughts. Therapists generally say that if you start thinking about how, that is when you must seek out help, although, I would say that even if you have more mild depression, it is likely a good idea to figure out what works for you to lessen its effects. 

Shock?????? Huh????? Name 1 time. I don’t get shocked very often because I’m generally a tad dead inside and that combined with generating as many ideas (not really, but eh I wanted a reference) as ze Thinker from ze Flash leads to me not being surprised often, almost never. I can’t really think of a time except for yesterday, when my best friend hugged me from behind while tip-toeing on concrete and I was distracted by my other friend so I didn’t notice. In terms of scandals and politics and stuff like that, I just am kinda like “well, that happened, that is a thing, that needs a probable solution”. You could be like, nuclear war started yesterday and I would be like “huh, didn’t see it in the news but I did just fact-check it and alright *shrug*”. My teacher once told me that his dad used to throw him on a turned on stove and I was like “yike”. I am not good at this one. At all. I make no claim to be. 

Empathy is like sad but like dead inside sad like it doesn’t hit you for a while because it’s hard to recognize as part of your reality if you’re not witnessing what is happening to that person, but then it slaps you in the face and you start crying. Then you get into “fix it mode” but also “stop being annoying and trying to fix emotions when people just want to cry” mode simultaneously. I’m not so good at this one either, but I am trying to be better. The issue is that when people start crying I usually detach from a situation emotionally although I have recently been doing okay. 

Love?  I will be like “you goob, I love you”. I tend to say I love you a lot and I don’t say it unless I mean it. I just want people to know I love them, yo. It’s cool. I get in weird periods where I don’t think I’m capable of love, but it’s not true. I tend to laugh a lot around the people who I enjoy and put effort into them. A lot of effort. Probably a bit too much because love should just be about appreciating people. I’m usually teasing and show my playful side a lot. Singing. Definitely show my love by singing and being a kind-of mean weirdo. Don’t force yourself to love someone you don’t. 

          BIG ASS CHARACTER SHEET FOR                    FANTASY VERSE WYLAN

I found an image while going through my files for cursed pics to send @spiritmaiden​, they had the audacity to take it and fill it out for the fantasy verse of their sky-zel, so I of course have to match the effort for Wylan because I’m not about to be shown up. It’s hella involved, nobody’s getting tagged but damn if you want an exercise in hitting your character then give it a shot. Most is under the cut because of length.

Character’s Name: Zachary Reis (Born) Wylan Rechtur (Used) Character’s nicknames: Ze (by his sister) Wy (by his friends and preferred) Zephyr (mercenary name, also what you’d see on any wanted posters) Gender: Male Righty or Lefty: Righty Age: 25-26  Height: 6′-0″  Weight: ~180 lbs Eye Color: Emerald green, bright and wide filled with a mix of confidence and playfulness. Hair color: Dark brown, messy and falling to his ears. Unkempt may be a good descriptor, but he generally keeps it down flatter at the least.  Distinguishing marks: His body is pocked with marks and scars from fights and other disagreements, but the ones most easily discerned are knife scars on his hands, and a short arc above his left brow. Describe physical traits in one passage: A good way to view him is concealed strength and agility. He’s toned and in good shape but doesn’t often dress or carry himself in ways that would flaunt this. His posture and pose are loose, and his expressions can be lazy and playful. So the moment he flips that switch and uses the full brunt of his power? It’s a surprise. He’s also a bit on the lanky side, his body size doesn’t fully compliment the size of his limbs. 

FAMILY/ RELIGION

Parents: Mother and father were disappeared/dead when he was just a bit over 6 years old and his sister was an infant. They were involved with the church but not royalty themselves. Wylan never spent much time figuring out what. They had a life left for him and his sister that he threw away as well. His father was a gentle soul while his mother was razor sharp and firm. Siblings: Younger sister, Katelynn Reis, but goes by Lyn with her friends. Wylan calls her Kat. She’s ~5 years younger than he, and remains with the church training and working as a healer. Whereas Wylan ran away from being a Paladin, she stayed strong to become a Cleric.  Significant Other: Verse dependent, Wylan typically is averse to romance and prefers casual encounters.  Children: None, nor is he open to them initially in his canon.  Other relatives: None remain living that he is aware of. He and his sister were raised by his grandmother on his father’s side, but she passed away shortly after he left the knight’s academy, when Wylan was roughly 16-17.  Pets: None. But he does enjoy talking to cats. Friends: Wylan is the type who ‘knows a guy’, he’s close with many tavernkeeps and makes nice with the adventurer’s guilds and their members as well. His work as an informant necessitates things like this. Wylan is also the type to consider most anyone he encounters and converses with a friend, whether they like it or not. His best friend though would easily be a wandering adherent by the name of Emke. I don’t care what the thread is about in some way she’s involved in his life. They’re platonic soulmates. Enemies: As a mercenary and hunter, some others in his craft would consider Wylan to be their rival, and in many cases he would view them just the same. It’s hard to say he has any enemies outside of pointedly evil factions however! Relationships (other): His relationship with his sister is an odd one. They’re still in touch via letters and the occasional visit, and he does what he can to support her with his money, but they’re not close like conventional siblings. There’s a strange codependence between them. Wylan depends on Lyn as a ‘rock’, and she depends on him as the ‘sea’. Ethnicity: Human! His origins are mostly a mix of Germanic/Portuguese if you wanted a comparison to Earth races/ethnicities. Religion: He recognizes the existence of higher powers but his relationship with them isn’t the best. As if being rebellious to his parents wasn’t bad enough he has to be tsundere towards The Light. This is noted when he uses holy magic such as wards and smiting spells and getting rebound into his own body upon use. Superstitions: He’s incredibly wary around the undead and spirits. So catch him spreading salt when he has to camp somewhere less than lively. Also give him a moment to sharpen his silver weaponry...  Diction, Accent, ETC.: His dialect is pretty clean, though this depends on who he’s speaking to, being the travelling sort he is he’s capable of lightly ‘faking’ various accents, or just being lazy with his own manner of speech. Traces back to proper speaking that was drilled into him as a child and then his own rebelliousness. SCHOOL/ WORK / HOME Education (Highest): He was well learned with the academy work that he actually accomplished. While he never finished and never put his all into his studies, it was clear to his teachers that he had a gift for learning but a problem with conviction.  Degrees: None! But just so I still have something here, one of his informal titles is ‘The Gale’s Fang’. Vocation/Occupation: Jack of several trades, wrapped up best as a mercenary informant, and a monster hunter. He’s good at tracking both people and monsters and taking them down- lethally or not so much. Employment History: Wylan was fully involved with the knight’s academy from the age of 6 to 16, so for those 10 years he had his hands full dealing with that and trying to figure out himself (poorly). Upon leaving the academy after the accident, he took up arms and was given tutelage by the thieves’ guild which taught him how to use his senses and move quietly through the shadows. Wylan didn’t make a good pickpocket, but he was good at reading other people and exceptional at duels. It wasn’t long before he took the advice of the guildmaster and made better uses of his talents. Not necessarily for good, but for more profit. By the age of 22 he was an accomplished and well connected informant, bartering information as well as putting his swordwork to use headhunting and slaying monsters that made issue outside the cities in which he frequented. This continues to current/canon start of interactions. Salary: He’s affluent enough not to worry too much about his state of living, but he can be prone to splurge spending that puts him in a bind for a few weeks at a time, at least until the next job puts money back on the table. Status and money: Continuing off the above, he’s decent enough with his funds (after sending money back to help out his sister) but wouldn’t be well off enough to be considered rich compared to his modern verse. Fortunately he has enough renown that jobs aren’t too hard to come by for him. And many barkeeps and friends are willing to open a tab for him. So he’s not too desperate.  Own or Rent: Wylan typically rents inn rooms when he stays in the cities, and camps when he’s out in the woods. Technically he also owns if you count helping his sister keep her own place running (thought it’s really about 30-70, with his sister funding most of it)  Living Space: Wylan never stays long at the room. It’s a place to go back to and sleep. Personal belongings? Very few. Most things he owns that he wouldn’t want to lose stay back with his sister kept in a basement or separate room that he uses on the rare times he’s back in the capital/holy city from which he originally hailed. As you can imagine, this isn’t very often.  Work Space: N/A! He doesn’t have one! Given his work is almost entirely in the field. Main Mode of Transportation: CATCH A RIIIIIDE. Though he’s apt to have a horse around for transport if he isn’t going too far. Long voyages for when he changes locales would probably be hitching a ride with a caravan. He also doesn’t mind voyages on foot too much. PSYCHOLOGY Fears: Externally he has an aversion to ghosts and spirits. The concept of the dead coming back to haunt you isn’t something he much cares for. Having access to light magic should mostly assuage this, and yet it can give him goosebumps anyhow. Ironically he has a fear of large mammals in his modern verse but that shit doesn’t apply here given he’s a monster hunter! Internally he fears being forgotten, not making a name for himself, and dying before he can truly feel alive.  Secrets: His birth name, Zachary Reis, isn’t something he will bring up with anyone. It’s not necessarily a ‘dead name’ for him, but it’s one he threw away the same time he decided he was going to toss away his ‘fate’ as a paladin. Taking the name of Wylan was another way he took his life for himself in his mind. Despite this being a path of self destruction. His sister is also something he doesn’t often bring up unless he very much trusts that person.  IQ: Surprisingly high. He picks up a lot of information doing the work he does, but you wouldn’t be blamed for not believing this. Eating Habits: They could be a lot better. He eats enough to get by, but his diet isn’t as varied as it could be. Wylan hunts small game when he can, but he isn’t an exciting cook so ALAS. This boy prefers hitting up taverns and getting basic meals like stews, jerky, sandwiches, etc etc. Sleeping Habits: Wylan is a very light sleeper. Typically if you so much as step into the room he’s sleeping in he’ll snap into awareness. It takes a loooong day of exertion to keep him sleeping deep otherwise. Frustrating is how he ‘fakes’ being asleep. So someone could come in and start rummaging and he would still breathe and move as if he were still sleeping. Up until he sits up and stares or cracks a joke. Dare you to kiss him when you think he’s asleep.   Book Preferences: History tomes every now and then. Wylan doesn’t read much fiction and prefers any time he spends reading to be somewhat productive! Make up for other education he missed as part a result of running on the academy. He also reads up on magic and sorcery to work on the wind affinity he also has.  Music Preferences: Wylan doesn’t play any instruments but he DOES love love love to dance and sing. He’s an entertainer at heart and loves to rally people however he may. Suffice to say he’s amusing to go drinking with. And not just because he starts bar fights to amuse himself. Groups or Alone: He’s primarily a lone fighter. Some hunts he will of course work with a team of other hunters, he’s not stupid enough to take on the larger beasts by himself, but there’s a preference for doing things on his own terms. He’s self aware enough to know that his ways and methods can be grating, but ah... how all of that clashes with his desire to show off and have an audience. Being Wylan is suffering. Leader or Follower: He’s both, but prefers to be a follower if he can help it. Let other people make the plans then nudge them this way and that to better fit your own methods. He’s a prankster and a good compliment to most parties after all, so you’d be wise to utilize him! Lest he utilize himself... but that said, he’s an anti-hero, so there’s possibility in there for him to be a leader as well and take charge. It just isn’t his default nature and he’d rather not. Planned Out or Spontaneous: Wylan is chaos incarnate. Most everything he does outside of necessity/work is spontaneous. All his mischief and plans are cobbled together and thrown out there. Sometimes he’ll do a bunch of things at once, like throwing a bundle of darts at the wall to see which ones stick. And oh my fucking god don’t get me started on being romantic he can’t plan for shit in that department. Journal Entries (Do they keep one?) Nope. Not a daily journal at least. He’ll keep notebooks and the like for jotting down intel and what have you for jobs he takes up. But most of the time he’ll just have little notes in his pocket, and not really chronicle his life. He may also make ‘fake’ entries to tease people or trick them. See what he did to Zelda the one time. Be careful what you believe... Hobbies, Recreation: Tricks!! Sleight of hand!! Cards and dice!! Part of growing up and learning with a thieves’ guild is getting involved in lots of things that make use of your hands and dexterity. He likes playing random games with folks and oh! People watching. Stalking. Not the cutest thing but Wylan makes a hobby out of ‘testing himself’ and exercising his talents. His hobby is unfortunately annoying people, to summarize. How Do They Relax: His hobbies help him to relax! Also, if you can believe it, sitting back in a group conversation and watching the conversation happen and move forward. Learning about other people is something he likes doing, which is hypocritical since he can make himself so difficult to learn by contrast. BUT THE REAL THING HE DOES.. is practice sword fighting. Slow rhythmic swings of his blade, almost like a dance. He focuses his thoughts and calms his soul when he practices. It’s like a mix of swordfighting, dancing, and yoga. Controlling himself. Feeling himself. It’s multiple things.    What Excites Them?: PEOPLE. Things! Happenings! The unknown and pushing himself to new limits. Honestly one of Wy’s biggest drives is doing something or becoming something that will make him ‘Feel Alive’. Because for all of his antics and frivolity he’s very much fighting an encroaching darkness in his soul. So he’ll search out bizarre things to get involved in. It’s one of the reasons he’s bugging Zelda, because her involvement in witchcraft and his own suspicions have him interested huehue. Pet Peeves: Being ignored. Like perfectly disregarding his existence and whatever he’s getting up to. If you’re not reacting to him being him then that means he’s not being effective and he’s losing. It’s his only real weakness...  Prejudices: None. He’s not the most respectful person so most everyone, royalty or important or otherwise gets subjected to similar treatment. If anything, the more important you are the more likely you are to get annoyed! Attitudes: He’s usually with a front, a mask if you will. His general attitude is curious and nosy, but that’s fronted with a playfulness and proclivity for being annoying. Don’t be fooled, he’s usually something more pensive and calculating underneath that exterior. Wylan actually quiets a fair bit once that mask is taken away, his mood swings down and his tone is a touch deeper. Stressors: Things going awry and his friends being put in danger. He absolutely does not do well with people he cares about being hurt. One of the worst things that can happen to him is his sister dying for example, and has lead to one of his most self destructive plots I’ve written, in this verse especially. Lovers? Don’t hurt them. Don’t endanger them. The idea of rivals or enemies going after people he cares about.. hoo. MAN. None of that please. He can be SO damn possessive. In relationships he’s very self conscious as well of fulfilling their needs. So if his partner remarks, regardless of how offhandedly, they’d like more of something he will TRY TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.  Obsessions: Being an absolute pain in the ass. And in cases where someone has wronged him or someone close to him? Tracking them down and getting closure/revenge. That shit takes him to the brink of killing himself. Addictions: None to the point of being problematic, but he does love eating pickles.  Ambitions: To make a name for himself, to be renowned and respected. To feel alive and accomplished as a person. He’d also like to take down a dragon someday. Get some armor from its scales and a sword out of that shit. As Seen by Others: Capable and dangerous, but impossible to work with for long periods. Keep a tight lip around him lest he use that information against you and learn things you’d rather keep secret. A lecherous womanizer. As Seen by Self: A body of broken glass, encased in a shell, covered in masks. Who are you? What are you? Where are you even going? You’re lost. You’re aimless. You’re swimming and swimming and eventually you’re going to be tired, aren’t you? ASTROLOGY/PHISIOLOGY Birth Date: October 10. Time of Birth: Evening. Western Astrological Sign: Libra Traits Associated with Western Sign: Social, Clever, Unreliable, Diplomatic Traits Associated with Chinese Zodiac: N/A, seeing as I don’t age Wylan with the years this doesn’t really apply. Handwriting: Clean when he needs it to be, but otherwise a quick script with lots of pen strikes. He’s capable with drawing diagrams and the like as well! This boy can throw out monster diagrams with weak points and other ecological notes oh yes yes. Sexual History: Wylan was already exploring that sort of thing before he left the academy, so yes... as early as 16 he’d already lost the v-card. He doesn’t really do relationships and enjoys casual encounters. Many a maiden at the bar or elsewhere has taken him for a spin. Typically partners aren’t reoccurring in fantasy verse, however. He’s... well, very good in the performance category.   General Health: A+ healthy aside from the sleep and subpar diet bits. Strong and good stamina. Medical History: He’s nearly died one times too many. Been stabbed, cut, poisoned, bitten, but hey he’s still alive! And that’s what he’d argue matters with this business. Allergies: SHELLFISH. Chronic Illnesses: None to speak of. Handicaps: He’s somewhat of a type B tsundere. It’s awful.  OBJECTS Purse / Bag: He’s got a coin purse that he’ll carry spare gold around in for spending on what have you. Supposedly food but he’s weak to splurge purchases. Most everything else he keeps on him in his pockets and his belt. Wallet: Uhhh see above, coin purse!!! He’s got enough for the week or so!! Don’t try and pickpocket him because he will catch you and you will feel stupid. Fridge: He doesn’t keep food around. He more or less has to scavenge for everything he eats either through buying or hunting. That’s kind of the life for the vagrant he is, isn’t it? Medicine Cabinet: N/A, but he does keep bandages and salves at his room.  Glove Compartment: N/A!! Junk Drawer: NNNNNN/AAAAAAA Kitchen Cabinets: Wylan get a house so I can fill this out challenge. Bedroom Hiding Place: Behind a wall panel or somesuch if he can manage. Otherwise in the floor or outside the window. Closets: His wardrobe typically includes tunics, coats, leather armor and harnesses for his weaponry! He’s got a couple swords in fantasy verse, and he’s got throwing knives and a grappling hook!!  Backback: Yeah uh see above, what a question. Locker: None Desk: WYLAN KEEP ITEMS AROUND CHALLEEEEENGE.  Clothes pocket: Daggers, notes, maybe a writing implement and paper so he can jot things down. He’s also got little knick knacks like a gem or a monster tooth to show off. Isn’t it cool??? Also lint.

OTHER Halloween Costumes: Werewolf!!! Get him in either just a lazy one with gloves and ears or deck him out in the whole garb. Love that idea on him. In one verse Big Bad Wolf is his nickname, and in another he flat out IS a werewolf! So yeAH. Tricks: He’s very skilled at sleight of hand!! Card flourishes and dice rolls. Cup games. Illusions and dexterity... he’s a slippery one! He’s also likely to catch you in words, using things you say against you. He gets really meta and oh how annoying that can get... Talents: SWORDPLAY- He learned from a very early age at an esteemed academy where only the best knights get trained. He mixes that style with a more ‘street’ type that he picked up with the thieves’ guild and even further as a monster hunter and mercenary. Suffice to say that all mixes together into multiple stances he can switch between depending on what he’s up against. Strong sweeping strikes, vicious stabbing and leaping, poised dueling and parrying... he’s a TOUGH fight. MAGIC: Wylan is at odds with his use of holy magic that utilizes the light to bless and heal. Until he comes to terms with himself and the power he wants to channel it’ll have ‘blowbacks’ on himself. Fingers will burn, head will ache, and his stomach will flip. But it’s still undeniably effective for where it is! Aside from that he knows some wind magic to supplement himself. He’s not known as ‘Zephyr’ for nothing after all! Gusting steps, slashing winds, REALLY BIG JUMPS!!! If you throw him he’s a fantastic projectile! And lets see- DANCING! He learned it first as part of his etiquette as a knight, but it’s something that’s evolved with him and oh does he enjoy festivals for that reason. Ballroom styles are what he’s most familiar with. Dance with him. Please dance with him. Politics: Indifferent! Doesn’t care for authority figures to begin with so in any case or kingdom with a monarchy he’s very buh about it. He’s very self-accomplished and his beliefs would push him towards meritocracy over anythign else if you ask me!  Flaws: Suspicious, possessive, and very persistent. This could be a strength too but for the most part can be seen as a detriment because of how it ends up being applied. Which is in self-destructive tendencies WOO. He’s also very lustful, and can be distracted by a fine woman and let himself be swayed by his desires over time. Have I mentioned he isn’t the most reliable? He’s apt to lie to people and give intentionally wrong impressions just to make it easier for him to slip away. You gotta go up a few levels to unlock that... So yeah, sins are WRATH, LUST, and ENVY. Strengths: NONE. Okay if you earn a solid place as his friend there is almost NO limit to what he’ll do to protect you. Wylan has a ridiculous amount of determination and mental fortitude and he can and will strike down a GOD to keep those things that are precious to him. He’s also an amusing character to have around, if you are feeling bummed he is almost guaranteed to find a way to cheer you up and support you if only so he can not feel as guilty teasing as he usually does HUE. He’s got a very up beat personality! Sure, a lot of it is a mask but he WANTS it to be real and that’s what really matters if you ask me. His reckless optimism can be endearing. There’s a lot of other surprising mental qualities such as how clever and quick witted he can be. Part of that mental fortitude lets him think and fight on his feet regardless of how much pressure he’s under. It takes a LOT to dampen his thought processes. Drugs/Alcohol: He drinks frequently, but he wouldn’t be counted as a drunkard. Wylan rarely drinks to excess, and prefers to do so among friends and good company. Passwords: Uh, do ritual prayers count? Magical spells? Heh. Email Address, Home Page, Blogs, etc.: Oh if only this were for modern verse... Time and place: Medieval fantasy! Magic and creatures! I also love throwing Monster Hunter vibes in for the big monsters he goes up against. Special Places: For him? Cliffs overlooking the ocean. Abandoned temples he can just chill at. For all he enjoys being around people now and then he really appreciates quiet isolation. Special Memories: Lots of memories with his sister before they more or less split ways. There’s one in particular where he was trying to teach her swordplay when she was just a little girl, and she about stubbed his toe when the wooden practice sword fell right on it. Her panicked attempts to try and heal him were something that really stuck with him.

what do you think about a crossdressing Steve? Maybe he started just liking the soft fabrics of his mom's clothes but then he started wearing them as a way to attempt to hold on to the feigned affection she gave him. Eventually he just got his own stuff because they helped him feel calmer, softer. He would only ever put them on when he believed he would be alone for a while to cook or do chores... And then one day Billy comes over. Do with it what you will.

So, maybe you wanted smut, but non-binary femme presenting Steve is a ridiculously big headcanon I have that I have talked about with several folks and will be included in the next big fic I roll out, so this is some Soft Shit bc I wanted an excuse to write Steve as non-binary femme presenting.

For some drag queen Steve, I got a little thing here.

This exact kinda character study of sorts has actually been in my drafts for like, a month, so I’ve incorporated some of it into this. It's modern, and there is some language that may be harmful, so PLEASE be careful with yourselves, no slurs or anything along those lines, just ignorant stuff. Also, this really went off the rails at the end, I’m Sorry.

Thank you for sending an ask!

Read on ao3!

When Steve was a little kid, he always preferred playing with the girls.

They would have clothes for dress-up, princess dresses, and pirate costumes, anything any child could want. They had wigs, makeup, crowns. Little girls also had babydolls, little pretend kitchens he would play in, plastic baby bouncing at his hip.

When his nanny would come to pick him up from Carol’s house, she would have wipes in the car, to clean off his face. Your father will be very disappointed if he sees you playing with girls’ things again, Steven. He learned very quickly that playing dress-up, wanting to be Mommy when playing house, those are not things little boys did.

He remembers fighting with his parents, when they found the little plastic case of goopy lipglosses Carol had let him keep. He was seven years old and was crying, had screamed as loud as he could that if little boys weren’t allowed to play with makeup, then maybe I don’t want to be a boy.

When his parents started leaving him more often, their absences growing longer the older he got, he began going into his mother’s things, trying on her clothes. He was twelve when he first learned that women’s clothes were made of finer materials, were softer, felt like butter against his skin. He was thirteen and would slip into designer dresses each night, learning makeup from YouTube tutorials, practicing with things left in his mother’s vanity and whatever he could discreetly put in his pockets at Meldvald’s.

He got pretty good. Good enough that at sixteen, he wanted more, would go to stores in Indianapolis, would spend his allowance on dresses, skirts, blouses, frilly little things that fit, that made him feel good, correct.

The first time he put on a pair of lacy panties, he almost cried. the material was soft, the cotton tight and nice against him, the delicate lace trimming the waist and legs was pretty. Steve realized, all he ever wants to be in his life is pretty.

He began thinking of himself as a girl, a young woman. He would tuck his dick back, make the space between his legs flat, let his hair grow out more, long enough to braid, to pin with floral clips.

He started dressing up, going out. Finding bars that would let him in if he batted his false eyelashes just so, would overlook his obviously fake I.D. so that he could go in, talk to men that were too old for him, too interested in his doe eyes, his soft cheeks, men that would buy him drinks, fuck him in the back seats of their cars, whisper about how pretty he looked, men that would touch his cock and coo that his pussy was so tight.

He found he didn’t like that but would grit his teeth, didn’t understand why wearing women’s clothes felt so right but the idea of having a women’s body felt wrong. He didn’t get why he felt the most himself, the most comfortable with his dick tucked up in lace panties, but the minute a man told him he was a good girl he felt sick. 

When he was seventeen, he stopped going out, stopped dressing up. He had Nancy now, a beautiful young woman who wanted a nice, regular young man. He almost told her, almost told her so many times, but then she was drunk, slurring in his face that he was bullshit, that he was fake, like he didn’t already know.

So he kept to himself, started dressing up again, putting on a full face, a delicate outfit the minute he got home. He would dance around while cooking diner, would float around the house in heels and sweeping dresses. They made him feel better, feel good. He would dress up on particularly bad days, would wear his most beautiful pieces when he got poor grades, when his father told him he was a disappointment over the phone. He had been informed today by his English teacher she had assigned him a tutor.

So he had blinked back tears while blending eyeshadow, had put on his prettiest dress, a pretty dark green number, the fabric light, delicate feminine. He was ready to wallow in self-pity and makeup when there was a knock on the door, followed by the voice of his something-like-a-friend Billy Hargrove, announcing with a laugh that you should REALLY start lockin’ your front door, Harrington. Wouldn’t want someone UNSAVORY comin’ in.

Steve was frozen in the kitchen, his best-kept secret all over his face, his body. Billy didn’t even blink twice when he saw Steve, asked what’s cookin’? while leaning over the stove. Steve’s eyes were screwed shut, breathing fast when Billy looked back, took Steve’s shoulder lightly in his hands said, you need to breathe, Sweet Thing, take it slow, match me. He rubbed gently down Steve’s arms, his eyes clear blue when Steve was able to open his own teary ones.

“Billy, you need to swear to me you won’t tell, you, I, people can’t know. They’ll, I mean, I know I’m a fucking freak but no one-”

“Whoa, who said you’re a freak?” Billy’s eyes were sharp.

“Look at me, Billy. I’m, I don’t know what I am. Sometimes, sometimes I wish that I was a girl, but, but something about that feels just, bad, but, but being a fucking boy feels like shit too, and I just,” he was sobbing, loudly and openly, knew his dark liner was no doubt streaming down his face.

“Hey, that’s okay, Honey, you don’t have to know. You just have to feel good.” He led Steve in a few more breaths. “It’s not black and white, you don’t have to be one or the other. You can just be you. Can be Steve, if you want.”

“What-I don’t understand.”

“Well, you don’t feel right as a boy, but you feel just as not right as a girl. There’s more than that. You have more options.” He turned off the stove, led Steve to his bag, whipping out a laptop covered in worn stickers. “So basically, there’re a whole bunch of genders.” He pulled up an infographic on his screen, a color-coded mess of columns and descriptions. “There’s way more than man and woman. There are people who are non-binary, don’t adhere to the idea of two genders. Sometimes non-binary people identify as another gender, a third gender, sometimes they identify as a mixture of identities. Agender people often identify as having no gender at all. genderfluid people tend to fluctuate between identities, can feel agender one day, the next feel like a man, it all depends on the person.” He looked at Steve, hand gentle on his arm. “And none of it’s wrong. There’s no correct way to be a human. And they each are up to interpretation. There are people who identify as agender but choose to present a certain way, there are people who identify as male but choose to present androgynous, there’s no one way to do it.”

“So if I, if I feel good like this,” Steve gestured to the dress, the smeared makeup. “I can still be, a guy, like I can just be a guy that likes to look like a girl.”

“If that feels best to you. Like I said, you don’t have to  be a guy, just because that’s what you were assigned at birth.”

“What do you mean? ‘Assigned at birth’?”

“That means the gender that’s on your birth certificate. It’s just a better way of saying like, male-bodied, since that can be, kinda shitty for people. And like, what even is a male body, you know?”

“You’re getting a little introspective for me here, Bill.”

“Basically, just because you were born with a dick and a doctor was like, it’s a boy, doesn’t mean you have to be a boy that likes looking like a girl, or whatever you said. That’s a perfectly valid way to be, a femme presenting guy, don’t get me wrong, but earlier you said you didn’t feel right as a boy, and I just don’t want you to back yourself into a corner.” Steve blinked.

“Yeah, I think, I think you’re right. I don’t, I’m not a guy. I don’t think.”

“You do not have to know right now. You literally just learned about this, you don’t have to like immediately make a choice. Take some time. Try different labels, try different pronouns, try no labels, see what feels best.” He smiled, looking at Steve softly. “If you want to, I can, like, help you. If you, if you think of something you want to try, it may be nice to, like, hear it from someone else.”

“What was, what was the one that was like, sometimes people identify as like, another gender?” Billy typed away, pulling up a new article.

“I think you mean non-binary. It’s more of an umbrella term to some people, they find more leeway in it.” He scrolled down, pointing at a list of pronouns. “So, some people who identify as non-binary also use alternative pronouns, things like they or ze, which is a way for them to be referred to outside of the gender binary.” Steve’s mind was racing. He tested the words on his tongue, thinking ze, sie, hir to himself, to, themself?

“But if I identify, as, as non-binary, or something, can I still, like, dress like this?”

“Of course. Identity and expression are two different things. To some, they go hand-in-hand, but to others, they can be totally separate.”

“I think, as of right now I think non-binary is okay.” Billy beamed.

“Okay! You don’t have to decide right now, and some folks never decide, they spend their lives flowing through different ways to identify and express themselves, and again, that’s totally fuckin’ okay. Nothing has to magically click into place for you. You can experiment.”

“Can I, can we experiment with, with they. I kinda, it kinda makes sense.” Billy just kept grinning, his smile huge and beautiful.

“Yes, I can do that.” But his face fell, “But I, I mean, this is fuckin’ Hawkins, and I don't’ know, I mean, is it, like safe?” Steve felt like their heart was breaking.

“No, it’s, I don’t think it is, I mean, there haven’t been like incidents but also, we don’t have a lot of people that are, like, openly different.” Billy’s brow was drawn.

“I can, I can call you whatever you want just the two of us, but, I don’t want to like, out you-”

“You can, you can say he was it’s, when it’s other people. I don’t, I don’t want this to get back to my dad, or anything.” Billy’s eyes were sharp.

“I can do that, I can protect you, like that.” He was nodding vigorously. “I just, I wanted to be on the same page, didn’t want to be like misgendering you behind your back and make you feel like shit.”

“You have my express permission to, uh, misgender me, or whatever you just said.” Steve sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “I just gotta get outta this fuckin’ town, man. Then I’ll be good. Live my little queer life outside of the shitty bar outside of town.” Billy laughed.

“You go there?”

“I used to, when I was first kinda, questioning myself. Used to let guys fuck me and call me, like, their pretty little slut or whatever. Not my finest moments.”

“Christ, Stevie. That’s some deep shit. I went once when I first got into town, and some guy was like, I wanna hear you screaming ‘Daddy’ for me and I was like, nope. No thank you to That.” Steve laughed with him.

“I’m pretty sure I did let that guy fuck me. Bily groaned.

“Stevie, no. Don’t call random men Daddy.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you, Bill, I got a lot of daddy issues.”

“Yeah, me too, but not that many.”

“Just enough to be called Daddy, then?” Billy went red, dropped his eyes from Steve as they cackled. “Hit the nail on the fuckin’ head then, didn’t I?”

“Whatever, you little asshole. Let’s just fuckin’ get on with your English homework that is why I’m here after all. Go grab your books.” Steve grinned, leaning in close to Billy.

“Okay, Daddy,” they purred, racing off up the stairs laughing loudly, hearing Billy cursing them out from the kitchen.

Pairings: Roman x His Mystery Boyfriend

Word Count: 1,459 Words

Summary: Deceit loves his dog, grocery shopping, and the anxiety twins drop off the dark sides something special.

Warnings: Sex Mentions, Cursing, Death Mention, Food Mention, Slight Body Horror Kind Of?, Sick Character, Immunocompromised Character, Aggressive Affection (aka Virgil’s way of showing love), Drug Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Note: This chapter is pre-SvS, by the way. Bolded and blockquoted are actions in their chatroom, not a message.

Usernames, a quick translation guide: Andy: Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero), Dayd: carniverousroomba, Dice: Dr. Bitch, Emile: Thera-pissed, Janus: SnekBoi, Logan: Momgan, October: eatpavementido, Patton: Papa Bear, Pryce: SwEeTvErUcA, Remus: Octopussy, Remy: Coffee Bandit, Roman: waaahluigi, Teal: uwu, Thomas: shrexy, Virgil: spipples

A Very Sanders Group Chat: Chapter 5

8:46AM

SnekBoi: I love Boogey, he's the light of my life and I would kill a man for him if he needed me to.

shrexy: Your dog? What happened?

SnekBoi: My absolute greatest boy ever just helped me get up and I owe him the world and maybe some extra snacks because he's not used to helping me get up anymore but he did it anyway.

Octopussy: you absolute fool, you full well know I would've come up and helped you but you have the dog help?

SnekBoi: I severely doubt you wanted me to wait to get up just so I could puke on you.

Octopussy: fair enough.

spipples: I just can't believe you have to give up another two plus years for this same bullshit again.

SnekBoi: I'll be fine. I've did this before, I can do it again.

spipples: I just hate that you have to do it all over again.

SnekBoi: Well, I did the month's stay in the hospital again right before I started working again and I was on my second stage of treatment, but I'm getting re-admitted for another month tomorrow, since my progress is now going backward ever since my fever and there's no signs yet that the first treatment worked so I'll have to do that stage again.

Dr. Bitch: Yeah, I wanna get you through the treatment again because, otherwise, it won't go away and, as much as I love you, I really don't wanna see you every day if if means I'm seeing you not healthy and I sure as hell don't wanna see you close to your deathbed.

SnekBoi: I know, healthy is the goal, I get it. Anyway, I have some exhaustion to deal with, I feel like a corpse.

Octopussy: cool, can I do an autopsy on you?

SnekBoi: If it means death, I will accept.

Dr. Bitch: There will be no autopsies on my patient, you bone-headed little shit.

Octopussy: fine. but I'm still bringing him breakfast so he might feel better.

SnekBoi: What's breakfast?

Octopussy: well, I got you the ginger candy you like, first of all. and I made you the bagels you like and I might possibly sneak you extra non-dairy cream cheese and I made Boogey a treat bowl since I know you don't keep good boy treats in your room.

SnekBoi: I love you.

Octopussy: I know you do.

SnekBoi and Octopussy are offline

shrexy: I hope whatever that treatment he's having works this time.

spipples: Well, Inny and Dice are doing their best so we just have to trust they know what they're doing. Knowing they've accomplished making him healthy once, makes it easy to believe that they can do it again.

spipples: This time, it just has a lot more stuff because last time his month's hospital stay worked and nothing hitched like his fever last week. Or at least it didn't until he was farther in the treatment when he was starting to push himself again.

waaahluigi: Can we talk about something else?

spipples; Well, I need to go food shopping today, who wants to go with me?

SwEeTvErUcA: I'll go, I need a few things for dinner.

carniverousroomba: Yeah sure, I need to get me some good candy for my Netflix binge tonight.

Papa Bear: I can't to go because I'm busy at work but if you guys can pick me up a loaf of bread and just have someone bring it to me, I'll pay you back.

spipples: If you can make me a decent meal for work when cooking is hard for you, Pat, I think I can buy you a loaf of bread and deliver it to my hard-working dad.

Papa Bear: Oh, it's okay, I want to pay you back! Virge, you always get stuck bringing me food or picking me up things, I feel bad!

spipples: Did I ask you to pay me back?

Papa Bear: No, but I want to!

spipples: I didn't ask you to because money isn't a factor, Patton, You need to eat at work. I won't have you pulling a 12 hour shift without food because Nathaniel isn't there anymore. You need to get some food in your system, feeding yourself is important, Patton. And, if you try to sneak money into my wallet, pockets, or otherwise, I can and will put it back.

Dr. Bitch: Virgil's really out here screaming that food is important. I love that your brand of aggressive affection is still going.

spipples: It never stopped being aggressively affectionate, Dice.

waaahluigi: I need some things, I'll go.

eatpavementido: Please pick me up exactly four tiny pumpkins and a tbe of black paint for them.

spipples: Alrighty there cryptid.

10:10 AM

Momgan: If you're currently at the store, please bring me home coffee before I die from lack of caffeine.

spipples: hey, you, you're finally awake!

waaahluigi: Quick question, what aisle are you in? Because I'm going to come over there and punch you.

spipples: Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?

shrexy: Oh no, he's in meme mode today.

spipples: Maybe.

Momgan: Please. Just pick up coffee, any form of coffee and I swear  to god, I'll make you whatever you want for dinner.

spipples: Pizza and nuggets.

Momgan: Done.

Thera-pissed: I feel like I just witnessed a drug deal.

Coffee Bandit: You did. But it's a drug deal for food.

Thera-pissed: Yeah, I figured that out.

12:17PM

Momgan: I have caffeine, I am now human again.

uwu: Good because I'm lonely, come cuddle.

Momgan: Ah, drawn back into the hell of a day off in bed by my own brother. What treachery is this?

uwu: The good kind, now come cuddle me, I'm cold, goddammit.

Momgan: Fine.

shrexy: Wait, you have a brother?

Momgan: Yes, Teal, your teacher character from your short videos is my brother. He may not be a side, but, since our function initially was similar, your mind connected us as brothers just as it has with Virgil and Andy, Roman and Pryce, and Patton and Dayd.

shrexy: Huh, learning something new about you guys every day.

Momgan: I know, I find it rather fun that you're learning so easily.

2:43PM

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): Thought I'd share my dumbass little brother being cute because why not die today.

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): virgilinaflowercrown.jpg

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): virgilinadress.jpg

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): virgilinaflowermaze.jpg

Octopussy: are you outside our house.

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): Delivering food.

SnekBoi: Aw, you two are so thoughtful!

spipples: Well, we gotta help you two somehow and your garden won't sustain two weeks isolation. We've tried that, remember? The week of potatoes?

Octopussy: I know. I just don't have the heart to go because it's always so crowded and I can't risk getting Dee sick.

spipples: And now you don't have to, And we washed everything once, just in case so there's no germs coming into the house.

SnekBoi: I wish I could hug you two.

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): Don't, focus on yourself.

SnekBoi: I know. But still, thank you.

spipples: And no going off on a "you'll pay me back" spiel, I already did that with Patton and the answer is no, you cannot pay me back because I'm trying to help you get better and I don't want to be repaid for helping you out when you definitely need it.

SnekBoi: You little shit, I love you.

spipples: The feeling is mutual, you funky little snake.

3:01PM

Octopussy: is this half pre-cooked food, half stuff from the store? why?

spipples: Well, we know that you're both really busy right now so we made you food like you used to make us food when we were really busy.

Raccoon Man (the trashiest hero): And don't worry, we made sure it was all healthy for Dee.

Octopussy: how long did this take you and how much did this cost you!? this is like an entire fridge and freezer of food!

spipples: Let's just say I took the last couple days off and I worked really late last week.

Octopussy: you didn't need to do that.

spipples: You're right, I wanted to.

Octopussy: you're so lucky Dee's asleep or he'd be telling you off for pulling a stunt like this.

spipples: I fully expect to be chewed out later, don't worry.

spipples: Just let me do something while you guys need it, you didn't have this kind of help the first time and I don't want to let this time be like that again, especially when I can help you.

Octopussy: I'd have hugged you if I wasn't isolating, you lovable little shit.

spipple: Love you too, Inny, you amazing jackass.

Taglist: @glaxyjellyfish @chronophobica @fear-ze-queer