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#i think it's something that can be heartwarming on the surface and also a little bit sinister?
coyote-catcher · 1 month
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one thing i actually really like about star stable (and wanna embrace more in my own lore building stuff in my brain) is that it doesn't actually matter at all where your character came from, just that they're on jorvik now
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yoimix · 2 years
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genshin men + a clumsy s/o
ft. kazuha, zhongli, venti
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[ requested by @jewelscara ] [ tw: alcohol, kazuha lightweight :-) ]
✽ kazuha is used to a life of wandering, dangers and unconventionality—and that means his senses are heightened above the capabilities of a normal man. as such, he finds your motions bizarre by instinct, but he also finds your ditzy steps strangely adorable. he supposes it’s because it’s you that he finds even your oddities heartwarming. as long as you’re not falling into pits or anything. he will also hold you by reflex if you trip or walk into something or slip on a particularly dewy patch of grass. to be fair, the last one is tricky. he’s always smiling so endearingly when you’re around too, and you can blame him for distracting you on most occasions. kazuha would never hold it against you either if you break something on accident or knock things over. all in all, he’s very concerned about you gravely injuring yourself traveling with him in particular, while still letting you stand up on your own two feet (even if they’re both left). 
although, his movement mimics yours with the tiniest bit of alcohol.
“more, more, more... more,” he drabbles on, as you try your best to drag him out of the tavern.
“goodness, kazuha, we both know i’m not cut out for this job,” you heave, as he finally takes a step in your direction only for you to lose balance and land on your knees. mondstadt cobblestones aren’t the softest to land on but your battered knees are used to a little bit of beating.
he looks down at you with a slight pout and furrowed eyebrows. “my love, did you fall again? are you hurt? oh dear.”
he stumbles onto the floor beside you, his outstretched hand meant for you to take breaking his fall instead. how could one fruity cocktail reduce him to this? to be fair, you don’t need even that to be as bad at keeping balance. 
“kazuha, we have to get up,” you tell him, brushing your knees as you get back on your feet.
“i’m up,” he says confidently while still sat on the ground. “you’re looking so blurry, maple, are you falling?”
“i’m afraid that’s not the case, sweetheart.” you shake your head, grabbing both his hands to lift him up.
your efforts do get him off the ground. however, instead of standing, he leans over onto you till his entire bodyweight is on you. of course. what else did you expect? he’s still so cute, you think. when did babbling, drunk men start looking cute to you? but then again, it’s only kazuha. you love every little detail of his.
“you’re gripping me too tight,” you say, trying to loosen his grip around your waist. 
“of course i am, (name). i don’t want you falling,” he mumbles, finally standing up straight. his arms don’t move. “do you know much it worries me to see the bandages?”
“i’m alright, kazuha. you don’t put me in any trouble more than i put myself in.” you press your hand against his cherry-red cheek, revelling in the warmth. “you can- you can let go...”
“i’d rather not let go of you,” he refuses, face as golden as the setting sun.
you furrow your eyebrows. met with his deep autumn eyes, what more can you do?
his grip around your waist isn’t getting any looser and the blood flows into your cheeks as he refuses to lower his stare.
“you will always worry me, (name).” kazuha sighs, but it soon turns into a smile. “so don’t wander too far off from me.”
✽ zhongli, ever observant, incorporates your tendencies into his habits. he can never be too careless with you around. in your defense, you couldn’t look at the man without your heart doing flips and somersaults. even as lovers, it’s ridiculous how you struggle to keep your balance around him. the number of walls you’ve walked into as a result of his smile is ridiculous. in fact, zhongli reflexively stretches out his arms before you can bump into anything. he will pull you by the waist if you walk a little close to the docks, place his arm between you and any solid surface that might hurt your shoulder, take your hand every time you step over the puddles after liyue’s much needed rain. it’s deeply evident how he cares for you. sometimes, though, he will just let you do your thing and look at you fascinated. he always carries bandages and antiseptic creams on him, even if he forgets his wallet.
“dear?”
“yes, zhongli?”
“did you fall into the pool or were you planning to take a swim fully clothed?”
you lower yourself into the waist-level water, fully drenching yourself. there’s a large scrape on your thigh and you’d rather not let your lover take note of it. partly because you’re embarrassed and partly because you don’t want him to fuss over you later.
“i’m fine down here, honey,” you mumble, looking away from him. you can still feel his intense gaze, regardless. 
when you stormed out of the house, annoyed with his lecturing on your habits, you should’ve expected some bad luck. (luck referring to your muscle coordination.) you know he only spoke out of concern but you took it a bit too personal. he knows you too well—and familiarity breeds contempt. soon, your little quirks will be burdens to bear. you didn’t want him to worry when you waked off, you just wanted some fresh air. to be fair, you did get some fresh air before plunging into freshwater too.
“i don’t want you catching a cold, love.”
zhongli gets down on his knee beside the clear pool of water, extending a hand for you take. after a moment of hesitation, you give your hand and he gets you out effortlessly. 
the thing is, you expected him to let go after you’re up. instead, you’re pulled into his chest, his arms settling at your back and waist, a deep chuckle leaving the man. you’re sure the water’s soaking through his clothes and yet there is no notion of his discomfort. is he made of rock?
“zhongli! why’d you do that? now both of us are drenched...”
“does it upset you, my dear?”
“no. but... you don’t have to go so far to coddle me,” you grumbling.
“hah...” he sighs. “one moment, you believe i’m angry with you and the next you think i’m coddling you? you’re as bewildering as ever.”
“you’re teasing me again,” you huff as you pull away and cross your arms.
“you know my adoration for you. i never meant to preach.” he presses his lips together and hums a sigh. “i should’ve worded it better. i don’t mean to coddle you and neither do i want to show you tougher love.”
his hand at your waist wavers and finally moves to rest against your cheek.
“now let’s get you fixed up. blood is not a nice color on you,” he speaks grimly, but not as a reprimand. if there’s anyone who wouldn’t either baby you or treat you with indifference, ire even, it’s your ever-steady lover.
“how did you...” you shake your head, a smile growing. everyone needs someone to lean on. “thank you, my love.”
✽ venti is quite mischievous with you, though he makes sure you’re alright in his own way. he sometimes blows a particularly strong wind in your direction just to see you flail, and follow up by grabbing your hands and pulling you towards him in a funny little dance. even if you step on his foot more times than you can count, he always finds a way around it—making fun of the mistakes you make till you’re forced into a rebuttal by pointing out his own. he just enjoys the way you move, as far as graceful as you can get, and yet as animated and lovely as windwheel asters. he also jokes often about how you don’t need alcohol to act silly. you say it’s the same for him; he’s not the most serious of men. venti also gets more affectionate when he’s drunk, much like a cat on catnip, and will show you off with the weirdest titles. (“my s/o can trip three times on a hike and still be okay!” “venti stfu”)
“oh thank barbatos,” you heave, as soon as you reach the tip of starsnatch cliff.
“you called?”
you shriek, your fists flying up to fend the source of your momentary fright off. however, instead of getting into a defence stance, you stumble backward and land on your butt right at the edge of the cliff. 
“you’re going to kill me, you idiot!” you scream while venti snickers, landing softly beside you. oh, to be as nimble as wind. you’ve got to say you’re a little jealous of the bard.
you scoot away from the edge to a much safer spot, while venti shrugs and lays his head on your lap.
“who said you could do that?” you quip, though you don’t move his head away.
“aww, didn’t you come here to meet me?”
“i meet you if i want to add more injuries to my body. every time i fall, you make me fall harder.”
venti’s eyes go wide. “my, that’s quite the romantic thing to say.”
you sputter out a half-assed denial. “y- you know that’s not what i meant.”
“well, do you want me to sing your bruises better?” he sits up giggling, the tune of his laughter playful.
“very funny, venti- oh dear archons, you don’t have to whip out your lyre harp.”
he strikes a familiar chord, a song of love and mischief, and you cave. it’s so easy for him to quieten you. then again, his melody always calls for attention. it’s so easy to lose track of time with him, and you’re glad you do. life can get hard, even in the city of freedom, and what’s better than the archon himself lifting your spirits? he’s quite good at that, even if he doesn’t realize it.
venti clicks his tongue when he notices you zoned out.
“c’mon now, i’m pouring my heart out for you!”
you roll your eyes. “oh lord barbatos, i don’t believe you could ever surpass the admiration i hold for you already.”
“unimpressive.”
you shake your head, huffing loudly.
“shall we dance then?”
“here?” you look around, furrowing your eyebrows at the steep ledges. no way. but of course, why would the anemo archon ever listen to you? he does as he pleases. you’re pulled to your feet and you take the tiniest of steps in his direction. the motion makes venti laugh, eyes closing. it really is a wonder how he makes the breeze howl in your chest.
“you don’t have to worry, (name),” he grins wider, taking your hands in his. “you can always trust the wind to catch you.”
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shangchiswife · 1 month
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dating aragorn headcanons!
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hi guys this is the first time in a while that i've written something so i hope that you enjoy. i just recently rewatched lord of the rings and i'm obsessed with aragorn again so here are some headcanons!
aragorn x gn!reader
Aragorn is the biggest gentleman ever. You basically won the lottery when you started dating him.
The lyrics “In a world of boys he’s a gentleman” are about him 100%. Taylor Swift you are not slick at all.
Do not be fooled by his rugged looks, this man is the biggest romantic. He will plan the most romantic dates for the two of you even when he’s busy trying to be King. Even when he’s busy with his kingly duties he will still find a way to shower you with affection. Whether it’s leaving little love notes on your nightstand or bringing you a flower bouquet, he always wants you to make sure that you know that he’s thinking about you.
Aragorn’s love language is through acts of service. He wants to do everything for you. You are his first priority. You’re not feeling well? He’ll drop everything in his schedule to make sure you’re alright. Your weapons aren’t clean? He’ll clean them no problem. You’re cold? Bro will gladly take off his shirt and give it to you so that you’re not cold anymore.
When you guys were trekking through Middle Earth this man made sure that you got as much rest as possible
“Aragorn it’s my turn to take watch” you had said, rubbing your eyes with exhaustion. He walked over to you and put a hand on your shoulder. “You’re still tired, rest, sweet one, I’ll take care of it.” “But-” “No buts,” he said as he pushed you down gently. “Alright well I’m taking your shift tomorrow night,” you grumbled as you put your head in his lap and immediately fell asleep.
Let's just say he didn’t let you take the shift the next day.
He is soooo overprotective of you. He’s always been very protective over those he cares about but he’s especially protective over you since you’re his number one priority. Aragorn's actions are driven by genuine concern and love. He simply cannot bear the thought of losing those he holds dear and will do whatever it takes to keep them safe.
He’s the person who taught you how to fight. You were so embarrassingly bad at first but Aragorn never once made fun of you. He was patient even as you started getting annoyed with training. He was determined to make you a great fighter and it worked.
During the fellowship, you fought fearlessly alongside Aragorn and took down hundreds of orcs together. At one point, Merry even playfully called you guys a power couple because of how hard you both fought together, which made you both grin at each other.
You and Aragorn are basically the hobbits’ parents. They all love you so much and look up to you both with the utmost respect. You both admire them a lot too. Their loyalty and determination never fail to inspire both of you to keep going, even when things get tough and the future feels uncertain.
You’re also best friends with Gimli and Legolas. They have so much respect for you. They are also always trying to one-up each other when it comes to you so they can be your favorite. Spoiler alert you could never choose between them!
Gimli often pretends to be grossed out by displays of affection between you and Aragorn, and likes to tease the two of you with mock disgust. “Oh, just get a room already!” he’d say which would make you and Aragorn laugh. However, deep down, he secretly harbors a soft spot for romance and enjoys witnessing the love and affection between you two. He may grumble and groan about it on the surface, but in reality, he finds it heartwarming to see the bond you share and the happiness you bring each other. 
Aragorn isn’t really big on PDA but once you’re alone together, he's affectionate and attentive, making sure you feel cherished and cared for in every moment you share.
In public, he keeps it subtle with affection, but every now and then, he'll gently caress your palms or hold your hand, just enough to let you know he's there. It's his quiet way of showing love without drawing too much attention.
This man loves to give you forehead kisses. Whether you're feeling on top of the world or weighed down by the challenges of the day, Aragorn's forehead kisses are his way of saying that he’s always going to be there for you.
You often find yourself snuggled against his chest, your hand resting over his heart while his arm encircles you protectively. His fingers trace gentle patterns on your skin, a soothing sensation that relaxes you. 
He also has the softest singing voice. It’s so pretty. He mostly sings old Elvish tunes but sometimes he’ll sing some songs in English.
You and Aragorn both share a love for animals, and you often find yourselves adopting stray creatures in need of a home. He's clearly a dog person through and through (I don't make the rules), but he has a soft spot for cats as well.
You love it when Aragorn tells you stories about his past. Whenever he starts recounting his adventures, you're all ears, completely mesmerized by his past. Secretly he loves your fascination with his stories and it fills him with a quiet sense of warmth.
You have a shared love for adventure and often find yourselves exploring new places together, whether it's hiking through scenic landscapes or just going around Gondor.
He is also the best listener. You tend to yap a lot but he does not seem to care at all. He will listen attentively, asking questions every so often, drinking in your every word. He always wants to make sure that you feel heard. 
Aragorn also dreams about starting a family with you. He's always imagined the joy of being a father and raising children together, but he'll only take that step if you're both on board and excited about it. Your comfort and readiness are his top priorities, and he wants nothing more than to embark on this adventure together, hand in hand.
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chirxlity · 6 months
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SATSUKI KIRYUIN
CW: KLK spoilers, mention of: compulsory heterosexuality, physical & emotional violence, s-xual trauma, CSA, SA, r-pe (for the sake of better background and context about this anime & about Satsuki story)
About her character and why she is stone femme headcanon for me.
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SATSUKI
This character does not have this cold, strong but sharp and fierce appearance as a random addition of traits just for the sake of fanservice. Her physical appearance and her personality traits are polished and calculated, yet she is pretty vulnerable on the inside and has a huge and rich inner world. She is acutely smart, a powerful strategist, a good and strong leader with the kindest heart I've ever seen in a character apparently so cold, stubborn or even despotic. But we have to keep in mind her upbringing and that she did what she had to do in order to survive because her main goal was to save the world and protect her closest friends. She wanted to free them as well as she wanted to free herself. But... from what?
SATSUKI'S PLOT
about her plans, goals and what Ryuko meant to her
Satsuki had such important goals: she wanted to free humanity (and herself) from the biofibers and the tyranny of her own mother, who was working with them to subjugate all the people on Earth, but she also craved to avenge her father and sister for what Ragyo did to them, so she fought for revenge but also for love. In the end, all that she wanted was to protect the ones she loved the most. 
Satsuki believed she could lead a revolution against Ragyo and the biofibers by using the power she had as her daughter against her. She took advantage of that power and the fear it inflicted on everyone to build a hierarchical system based on The Law of the Strongest and blind obedience (basically she militarised the school), and then she started to ‘colonise’ other schools to gather an army. She did this to trick her mother into thinking that she was working for her because her empire was much larger and stronger, so she had to be very cautious or else the chances to defeat Ragyo and the biofibers would be even lesser. All of these factors led her to repress her thoughts, feelings and emotions.
But when she met Ryuko, her plans started to change a bit: she saw a lot of potential in Ryuko and wanted her to get stronger and surpass her from the very beginning. She felt that Ryuko was something more, not just another soldier that could help her defeat Ragyo once and for all, and she wasn't wrong about it: later on they found out that Ryuko was that little sister Satsuki and Ragyo thought dead and that Isshin Matoi was actually Soichiro. He raised Ryuko and hid her from Ragyo with the hope that, one day, she would defeat her and the biofibers.
When these facts were revealed, Satsuki knew everything changed: she could trust someone of her own blood, she could finally have her dream family: one that she'd have built, one that she'd have chosen, one that would have truly and deeply loved her for who she is.
NONON
Now we have to talk about Nonon, Satuski’s best friend and (implicitly) lover, the only person who knew her best and could fully trust: this character can come across as an irritating or pedantic girl, but that’s just the surface; she acts tough the only way she knows just because she wants to show that she’s strong and the most important person in Satsuki’s life. I find it so heartwarming that even though the rest of the Elite Four are respectful and loyal towards Satsuki, it is Nonon that better understands her boundaries, and they treat each other as equals. Nonon is not just another subordinate to Satsuki (and never was). I think that because of this and her appearance (small, cute, etc) she wants her value as a fearsome opponent to be acknowledged, and that's why she acts so sassily and arrogantly (a thing which I personally love about her).
Nonon always finds the courage to fight and never gives up whenever Satsuki is near her; she feels the need to protect her, and she is always willing to carry all the weight if that means Satsuki will be safe and sound. 
She is the one who always took care of Satsuki’s deepest wounds but also her dreams, and is the only one who knows best the pain Satsuki had to endure in order to save everyone. Both of them shared their dreams and hopes with each other when they were kids, and since then Nonon took care of hers as well as Satsuki took care of Nonon’s. 
JUNKETSU
It is hard to talk about Junketsu and what it felt like his relationship with Satsuki and Ryuko to me right after talking about Nonon, but it has to be done if I want to illustrate why I headcanon Satsuki as a stone femme. 
Junketsu is, first and foremost, an allegory for compulsory heterosexuality. He was the symbol of the chastity/virginity forced upon the future bride and spouse, Satsuki (we have to remember it was Soichiro the one who told this to her, that Junketsu was going to be her wedding dress). So it was the underlying expectative of defeating Ragyo by sacrificing her will to Junketsu that her father put on her shoulders, one of the reasons that kept her from loving Nonon freely, openly and wholeheartedly, maybe the main one because Ragyo simply wanted the whole subjugation of her daughter, her complete devotion to the biofibers cause, while Junketsu was just a tool for both her father and mother that would force Satsuki to do the will of one or the other.
But even though Junketsu was just a tool, Satsuki had to wear it on all the time, which means that Satsuki was living constant situations of rape; after all, whenever Satsuki dressed Junketsu and tried to activate him, she endured a lot of pain and ended up very weakened from resisting Junketsu taking full control. And the thing here is, although Satsuki willingly wore Junketsu, that doesn’t mean she had another option. As I said, this suit was made to control her and Ragyo used it later to control Ryuko too. He, as the symbolic husband, tried to tie them up to heterosexuality at some point in their lives. 
So as we can see, Satsuki didn’t want to wear any biofiber cloth, she had to use them and let herself be used by them in order to save the whole world and set everyone free.
CONCLUSIONS
I think it is well pictured that Satsuki truly cares about people but felt she couldn’t trust them because of how the world was built by her mother and the biofibers, and also how Ragyo treated her with so much despite at the same time she emotionally and sexually abused her (it’s so obvious that Ragyo is a child abuser and a paedophile). But Ryuko was key to help her understand that things could be different, that she didn’t have to make everyone afraid of her in order to get what she wanted, that she actually could trust people. 
So for all that has been explained in this post is why I think Satsuki embodies so perfectly what it’s like to be a stone femme for me and not just for her appearance, but for her choices too. She had to carry so much weight on her shoulders but Nonon and the rest of her friends supported her without putting more pressure on her; they just took care of what Satsuki ordered them to do. 
I also find so relatable the way she copes with all the trauma she’s got from facing lots of sexual violence, and physical and emotional abuse, or the fact that a close relative (her own mother) made her believe she was a failure and a good for nothing, that she didn’t belong and would never be enough for her. She didn’t lose her kindness and her hopes and dreams even though she had to turn herself more tough, it just happened that she showed her soft side differently. She actually cares, she is the one who provides and she sacrifices lots of things to protect humanity’s freedom. And she finally learns to trust in the good potential of all humans, and to let the women she loves take care of her too. 
To conclude, Satsuki was key to make me come to terms with me being a stone femme because I can see lots of subtle details in how she moves, behaves, thinks and approaches things that -somehow-remind me of myself, although I know we are not on the same league. But I really think she might be a stone femme too because she is a woman with strong and rigid boundaries around every aspect of her life, and she defends and makes everyone respect them. In the whole anime I’ve never seen anybody try to question her and her boundaries, and I truly admire her a lot for this.
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starlightinitiative · 5 months
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And so the first Starlight Initiative event comes to its close for the night.
This was incredibly exciting and heartwarming! It was good to see everyone that showed up -- whether it was limited to appearances within our Discord, fleeting moments in-game, or those that even spent all weekend with us out at the event venue!
I genuinely cannot stress that this event would not be possible without all the kind and generous volunteers that are a part of the team. Whether they joined at the conception of the idea, or during the events thus far! So to the volunteers we have that are on our very own tumblr, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you to @blossomblade, @humblemooncat, @pangolinheart, @scholarlostintime, @irisopranta, @valdiis, @janzoo, @wrenanigans, @ivoryribcage, @phoenshire, @strawbebbynya, @strayingkat, and @bnuuywol! And thank you to all the ones that joined through the Discord that don't have a tumblr as well (that I know of!)! Thank you to our Discord members: Arigaaz, Atsuki Scypher, Elquinjena, Aureate Emrys, duz, Kyu Wishmaster, Mimarrah, and ProtostarMirage!
Maybe some of you who are tagged are thinking, "was I worth thanking?"
Yes. The answer is yes.
You believed in the Starlight Initiative to help get it off the ground. Your belief in this project, and much of everyone's excitement poured into it is what motivated me to go forward with it. To the new volunteers that we acquired over the course of the event, I am grateful for you as well! Your belief in this project and wanting to go out of your way to make others smile for the holidays is what makes this project something so amazingly touching to me.
I would have probably given up super easily if no one reached out. I wouldn't have had the drive to continue onward. But your belief in this to reach out is why I genuinely want to recognize and thank you for doing even just THAT. Your belief encouraged me, and we made such an amazing weekend for people who came by.
To everyone else as well, even if you're not a volunteer. It's easy to look at this event on a surface level and feel maybe jaded, incredulous, and skeptical of such an event; "People just giving away free stuff? Because they want to? Okay, what's the catch?"
I'm glad for you. You who believed and trusted in us to fulfill your wishes. You who came and got something. Who showed appreciation for what you got. You who got something for someone else special to you just to make their in-game experience something better.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
I also posted this in Discord for everyone that's there, but I feel like it bears repeating for anyone here seeing it for the first time that has come to the event, donated to it, or wanted to help in some way that maybe didn't join our server for whatever reason they may have had.
We have so many people ask: "What can I do in return? / What can I give you in return?" My answer may differ from some of the volunteers, or otherwise! Though I'd like to implore everyone who has this question in mind to simply repay the kindness forward. Make someone else smile this winter holiday -- no matter what holiday you celebrate! Make someone's winter season that much more enjoyable. Winter is rough for a myriad of reasons, and I feel like there's a lot of emphasis on bringing joy and warmth to others during the season, but sometimes it feels like it's never seen to. If you can and if you're welcome to, just bring a little extra warmth to someone who seems like they need it. ♥
Thank you for making this Weekend of Gift Giving something special. Let's do it again next year!
Happy Holidays, and Happy Starlight!
-Admin Prim
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milimeters-morales · 7 days
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part two of that autistic miles oneshot under the readmore! All warnings and pairings still apply ^_^
Word Count: 6k+
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Miles loves animals. That’s a known fact. Spider-Man also loves animals. This is a slightly less known fact, but still known by a good amount of people. 
“Thank you so much, Spider-Man,” a parent tells him as he cradles two kittens he rescued from getting ran over by traffic, “I don’t even know how they escaped-”
The kittens meow, finally giving Miles a good reason to look down. The people’s gazes are very heartwarming in a sense, but it was too much emotion for Miles. The parent keeps talking, the child reaching out for the kittens that Miles refuses to hand over until he has to.
Miles smiles warmly, lenses squinting in delight as one kitten tries to paw at his chin. How cute! 
If these kittens were his, he’d name them Coffee and Cocoa. They’re very pretty as well, with spiky brown coats, one of them with faint tabby markings on the legs, and with the most vibrant green eyes he’s ever seen on an animal. They would fit in the palm of his hands if they were curled up, and their pink little bell collars only add to the cuteness. 
���-and we’ll put up a baby gate for them, I promise. Now, what do you say, honey?” Miles catches the last part of the parent’s sentence as they place a hand on the kid’s shoulder.
“Thank you Mr. Spider-Man,” the kid tells him with all the intensity and sincerity only toddlers could manage while covered in syrup and dressed in pajamas, and goes to reach for the kittens again.
The kittens meow loudly as the parent swoops in before the sticky hands can touch their delicate fur, and Miles… 
Okay, don’t tell anybody this. Not even Ganke. Actually, especially not Ganke. It’s a bit embarrassing, and he really doesn’t want this to be a running joke the other boy brings up when they’re supposed to be focusing in class, and end up getting them in trouble again. Also, he doesn’t want Ganke to think he’s uncool. Okay? Okay.
So.
Miles meows at the two. Not the two kittens, no, because that's the normal and socially acceptable response in public when you see two kittens meowing and calling out to you. No, Miles Gonzalo Morales, someone who’s literally saved his world (twice!), meowed at the two people in front of him.
“Oh my god,” he immediately tries to start apologizing, but the parent bursts out into laughter when the kid starts meowing back at him. 
This is supposed to be a fun, happy moment. Silly and lighthearted. Spider-Man meowing and a kid meowing back after saving their kittens from death. Miles knows this, and that somehow makes the feeling of shame and…disgust, he realizes, at himself even worse.
But he laughs with the parent, and then the kid, because he knows he’s supposed to. He’s seen enough shows and been around enough people throughout his life to know something that obvious. But in all honesty, he just wants to curl up somewhere, and bite down, slam his head on something, throw himself into a few walls-
And he knows that’s not a normal reaction either, so he just feels more embarrassed as he laughs with the two and waves goodbye. Thank god for the mask, right?
___
Pavitr isn’t a surface hard enough to slam his head on, or throw himself onto to feel something else other than the embarrassment, but at least he can give Miles the pressure he needs.
“I’m just saying, that’s not a normal reaction. Have you ever thought of getting some chew toys?”
He’s not a dog, Pavitr.
“Not like that! I meant one of those chew necklaces, or a fidget toy, just to keep yourself uh… stable. Because you jumping to solutions like that? That is not very stable!”
Miles says nothing. He knew it wasn’t normal, and hearing someone else say it wasn’t stable was something he was always prepared for. Well, sort of prepared for. It stung only a little hearing it, and he knows Pavitr didn’t mean to imply anything too bad, but he was right anyway.
“I tend to be,” Pavitr says, rubbing comforting circles on his back. 
Their legs are intertwined, both in their suits and laying in a web-hammock high above the noise of the city. The stars are much more visible the higher you go, and Pavitr’s been taking the time to point out constellations that Miles doesn’t know the meaning of. He keeps getting off track when the legend he’s telling Miles reminds him of something he did back in his universe, and Miles finds it a bit endearing. Ganke does the same thing, though he manages to circle back to his original point fairly easily.
“I’ll buy you one. Any of us could, really! It’s no big thing. Anyway, it sounds like you just need to meow more, because I can sense you have something to say. And you keep mouthing it on my chest.”
Miles groans quietly and tries not to dig his fingernails into Pavitr as he’s reminded of the events from earlier that day.
Miles goes to groan a bit more dramatically so Pavitr doesn’t think he worsened the mood, because out of everyone he’s met, Pavitr is the most socially awkward. Not even in a nervous wreck way, he’s just so earnest and eager to share what he thinks, that he doesn’t always read the room correctly. But they balance each other out, because Miles always over-reads a room (is that even a thing? Someone let him know) and ends up really anxious about saying the right thing. It’s been happening less and less with each passing day, but the fact that it’s an issue at all…
Anyway, the groan doesn’t come out right. Like, at all. In fact, it’s more like a trilling noise that cats make. 
Patches of himself dance in and out of visibility for the most tense five seconds of Miles’s life, until Pavitr’s lenses squint happily. “You can do that too?! Lucky, I’m so jealous!” he gushes.
Huh?
“Yeah, Gwen and Hobie sometimes do that! You don’t know how badly I want to be able to- to just make a noise that people know means I’m happy without having to constantly smile or actually find the words for,” Pavitr rushes out, fully removing his arms from around Miles to hold his hands between their chest, bringing their foreheads together for a quick second. “That’s the most I can really do, that and hugs, to get my point across when I’m too tired for words.”
Miles wants to ask a lot of questions, mainly “why are you happy about this”, “why aren’t you pushing me away in disgust”, and “can you go back to hugging me”, but he settles for, “what do you mean you can’t do that?”
Too bad his brain loves not listening to him. 
He meows, and this time his camouflage kicks in completely. 
“You’re asking why I can’t make those noises?”
Well, he did say he was good at reading people, Miles thinks.
“I can’t believe I never told you! I didn’t get bitten, my powers are magic,” Pavitr exclaims happily, “yeah, this yogi blessed me, so I don’t actually have spider DNA or other stuff.”
Miles meows again, a questioning tone seeping in. (God, he won’t hear the end of this.)
“Yeah, the DNA! Y’know, how Hobie has glowing organic webs because his spider was SUPER messed up but he can’t use them because he’s not entirely healthy? So he uses the webshooters?”
No, he didn’t know that. God, he’s barely asked about Pavitr’s and Hobie’s pasts… he figured they didn’t bring it up for a reason, and he never felt the need to pry.
“Well, I don’t know if you wanna talk about the other guy,” Pavitr says, voice now a mumble as he makes a clawing motion to reference Miguel, “but it’s kinda like that. Except, uh, the opposite? Sorry if it doesn’t really make sense, I’m getting tired.”
Miles meows again, quieter to match Pavitr’s volume. 
“The purring too. I know the meowing itself isn’t a spider-thing, but I’m 99% sure the purring is, so if you ever start doing that around me, don’t be afraid.”
Right. Okay, yeah. Pavitr’s a sweet guy, he wouldn’t make fun of him about something that he was really insecure (that word felt too weak to describe how he felt) about.
“I mean, maybe you won’t make those- oh okay, well uh-“
A quiet rumbling comes from his chest. Pavitr goes silent and rubs more comforting circles into his back until Miles slowly reappears.
Pavitr wasn’t making fun of him, or secretly thinking of him as some sort of freak who can’t speak like a normal human, Miles knew that. He knew Pavitr better than that, and it was almost insulting to think of the other boy like that. He knows this already.
“I can’t keep talking, okay, so… just… keep purring? It’s super calming,” Pavitr mumbles as he buries his face into the crook of the other’s neck, “I can’t talk anymore. Sorry.”
Miles feels a very brief rush of emotion at the request and the admission, none of which he can name (as per usual), and the purring gets stronger.
___
Hobie chats up the smoking line cook in the back of the hole-in-the-wall Miles likes to frequent on particularly rough days as he orders his food. He can hear their conversation through the walls, and is annoyed by Hobie when he isn’t even involved in the conversation. 
“Who would win, a thousand rats, or five bears on cocaine?”
Miles tries to tune out Hobie’s questions as he orders their food.
It doesn’t really work, and he’s pretty sure the lady taking his order at the counter wonders why he looks so pissed off.
Walking outside and going around the back to drag Hobie away from the poor line cook he’s tormenting with stupid questions. “But you can’t even mix benadryl with-” Miles hears Hobie arguing now, and just grabs him by the collar and tugs him out of the alley.
“I got our food, let’s eat,” he tells the taller boy, who’s busy slapping his hand away and lightly punching his shoulder.
They decide to eat on the steps of a random apartment building near his own. He feels the steam condensing and dripping water into his palms and grimaces.
“What’s that frown for? Food ain’t good?” Hobie asks him around a mouth full of rice and honey chicken.
“Nah, just don’t like the feeling,” Miles says, taking the broccoli and meat out of the rice and putting them in small piles. He scowls at the juice from the meat mixing with the broccoli, and the juices from both soaking the rice with an unbalanced ratio of vegetable flavoring to meat flavoring… it’s silly. It’ll still get eaten, if the look in Hobie’s eyes means anything.
“Are you gonna eat that?” Hobie asks him, getting closer and pointing at the broccoli pile with his fork (which was missing a tine, for some reason).
“Probably not. I don’t think I’m hungry,” Miles tells him, still focused on trying to separate the carrots from the rice. Man, why didn’t he just stick with his usual order?
“I need a yes or no, mate,” Hobie tells him, pulling his fork back.
“But I don’t know, I don’t really get hungry.”
“What?” Hobie looks properly confused, and not in his usual dry “I know you’re lying to me but the lie was so bad it’s intriguing” way, but genuinely. 
“Yeah,” Miles says, feeling more and more embarrassed even though he knows the last person he should feel embarrassed around is Hobie. But he’s just so… cool, in so many ways that Miles isn’t. He doesn’t want him to think he’s weird and just avoid him. Or worse, convince other people to avoid him.
Stop it, he’d never do that to me, Miles pleads. The memory of him meowing last week tries to wash over him, but he beats it back with a stick, forcing his happiest moments to replay in his mind and keeping his hands still so he doesn’t try to bite them. Pavitr wouldn’t judge him, Hobie wouldn’t judge him. Not now, not now, not now , he begs his brain. Behave. Be normal. You’re fine.
“I just… I guess I don’t ever really feel hungry. Like, I get hungry after too long, but I only really know when it’s been that long when the headaches and cramps start. Or the dizziness and all that,” Miles explains, voice getting meeker with each word. Be cool, Morales. For your own sake, just be cool.
“How often are you eating?” Hovie immediately asks him, a hard look in his eye. 
Oh. He’s worried about- “No, look- I’m fine. I eat at the right times y'know, I’m supposed to. Breakfast in the morning, lunch in the afternoon, dinner in the evenings, maybe a midnight snack. So I’m good, you don’t have to worry about me.”
Hobie lets out a (relieved?) sigh, “And what about the times you forget to?“
“Oh, I just don’t get the signal until it gets bad, I guess.”
Hobie stares at him until Miles feels like he’s ready to crawl into the sewers and hide there forever, so he uses the passing of someone exiting the building as an excuse to look away and focus back on his food. 
“So how long has it been since you last ate?” Hobie asks him.
Miles has to count on his fingers, and apparently that action alone is enough for Hobie, because he just huffs and waves his hand for him to stop. “Just eat.”
Miles decides to stop separating the food and shovels a forkful in his mouth, still ending up feeling a little embarrassed.
___
“Ms. Spider-Man, why are you standing like Barbie?” a young girl asks him after he catches her from falling off the balcony. He’s standing on the wall making sure she goes back inside, and looks down. Right.
He’s on his tiptoes again. Clearing his throat, he flattens his feet against the brick, suppressing the strange shudder the sudden shift caused.
“Sometimes I just walk like that,” he tells her.
“Oh. Okay. Bye,” she says nonchalantly as she goes back into the building. 
Miles wishes all conversations were that easy. Children are way easier to talk to than other people, and that’s a prime example. They have a question, they ask that question, that question gets answered, and they’re (usually) fine and go about their business. 
Is that so bad? 
___
Miles is shirtless, sprawled on the couch and staring blankly at the ceiling, occasionally having to move his limbs when Ganke feels like checking the couch for the billionth time might reveal the missing lego piece he’s looking for. It’s a rare day where he and his parents are both home, so he invited Ganke over to make sure he doesn’t lose his mind in this heat paired with his parents being sappy and grossly in love in the kitchen. Why Ganke decided it was the perfect temperature and moment to start moving shit around and rearrange Miles’s limp body to check between couch cushions in search of missing lego pieces, Miles will never know.
He tries to listen to music loud enough to drown out the sound of his parents talking, and the feeling of his shorts scratching his skin. It was maddening, but it’s not like he could walk around in his underwear. He could in his room of course, but there isn’t an AC in there to keep him cool, and opening the window would be useless in the heat.
Seeing Ganke say something, Miles pauses his music. “What?”
“I was just saying how you’re fine with super loud music only when you’re the one listening to it with your headphones. Otherwise it’s like you’re being- what did you say? Stabbed in the head?” Ganke gives him a quizzical once-over before returning to check under the couch. “Would your parents be mad if I moved this?”
“Oh,” Miles says, “yeah, I don’t really know how that works either. And it wasn’t stabbed, it was hit repeatedly with a blunt object.”
“Same thing.”
“So not the same thing, and don’t move the couch, you’ll probably unearth a government secret and put us all on a list because you thought it was a good idea to show your Glitch chat,” Miles scoffs playfully, making unpausing his music obvious with loud taps so Ganke can tell in case he has anything else to say. 
“That was one time, how was I supposed to…” Ganke’s voice trails off as the song increases in volume again.
But seriously, why did he do that? Loud, sudden, and repetitive noises were the bane of his existence on one of his bad days, and extremely annoying to the point of anger and watery eyes on his bests. He usually wanted to break something if someone else was clicking their pen, or tear out his hair and bite into something if they were talking too loud to him, but when he was making the noises, he felt perfectly fine. Better, in fact. 
There was a time, he thinks, when he was around eight or nine. He couldn’t have been older than that because he lost a tooth to a car door when he was ten, and he doesn’t remember that feeling then. There were guests over, maybe his mom or dad’s friends from work and some family members coming to congratulate him on graduating some grade at the top of his class? Anyway, Miles wasn’t enjoying it. He hid in his room and under his covers with his hands practically glued to his ears and his eyes squeezed shut. They were all talking so loud, and when he was out in the kitchen fixing his plate of food, he could hear everyone chewing, smell their colognes and perfumes, and don’t get him started on the one lady with the high-pitched laugh. He hated, absolutely hated , how shrill it sounded, it made his arms feel like they were made of jelly as a cold chill ran through him each time. He didn’t say anything though, because his parents raised him better than that, and it was mean. Even eight-or-nine year old Miles could understand that, though it took a while getting there.
When he sat down and began to eat, his fork scraped his teeth in the first bite. He gagged quietly and ran to his room, scratching at his arms and biting down on nothing repeatedly. He wanted to scream, but he wasn’t going to draw attention and make everyone worried. He wanted to tear at his face and hair until it all came off, he wanted to bash his head in the wall until he couldn’t feel anything, he wanted to just crawl out of his body. He didn’t want to feel what it felt, that awful, repulsive, spine-chilling feeling of silverware against his two front teeth. He couldn’t breathe, and curling into a ball against his bedroom door once he escaped the front area didn’t help. He rapidly tapped his nails on the floor as he tried to search for any solution.
Which led to him curled up tightly in his covers with his hands over his ears and his nails digging into his skin. He tensed his entire body up the second he wrapped the covers around him, constricting not too unlike a snake that has caught prey but with all the care of his father’s hugs after he made him proud, and curled his toes as if it would change anything. He found that biting his lip helped, but his mother wasn’t too pleased with that when she found him a few minutes later, wondering where her little boy had gone.
Her singing a calming tune that she usually sang to get him to sleep as a baby didn’t help at all now.
She sighed, and Miles expected her to tell everyone to leave and that the party was over because Miles was too upset over nothing, but she came back a few moments later and put some headphones over his head in place of his hands.
“They were a gift me and your father were going to give you tonight,” she whispered with a small smile, pressing a button on a silver ipod nano, and music filled Miles’s ears. He felt his eyelids start drooping immediately, his shoulders slacked, and could feel all his senses slowly going back down to 5, instead of the 11 they were dialed up to. The song drowned out everything in the world, erasing all the reminders of the loud people, disgusting feelings, and violent thoughts.
“Come get us when you’re feeling better, okay?” 
Miles nodded, incapable of doing much else, and his mother kissed his forehead before quietly leaving the room.
Of course, he can’t afford to be like that as Spider-Man, so he mostly suppressed those negative feelings when he could. He hears all that stuff all the time now anyway with his enhanced senses, so he’s just going to have to deal with it. It’s not even as bad as it was when he was a kid, it’s way easier for him to grit his teeth and keep pushing compared to all those years ago.
But the control that comes with his music sort of… cancels out, he guesses, the negative effects that the noises give him. He’s in charge of what plays, when it plays, at what volume, and at what speed. If he’s in control of the noise then it’s not bad. If he isn’t, then it’s bad. Simple as that.
“Yeah, I see it that way too,” his father’s voice is muffled but still close enough to make Miles jump.
The man laughs and thumps him on the shoulder. Miles cringes at the feeling of the cold sweat making contact and lightly shoves the man’s hand off with a smile.
___
Miles stayed up late in his bunk, staring wide eyed at the screen. He had finally decided to look up all of his symptoms, something his mother and friends always told him not to do very often unless he wanted to discover he had a rare type of brain cancer, and was surprised by what he saw.
10 Signs Your Child Has Autism (And How To Cope)
Is My Son Autistic? Twenty Ways To Deal With Food Avoidance In Autistic Toddlers
Sensory Overload and Sensory Processing Disorder
Autism in Girls V.S. Boys 
Am I Autistic Quiz (Real Answers)
Signs Of Autism & When To Call Your Doctor
Why Are Autistic Girls Less Diagnosed Than Autistic Boys?
He turns off his phone and goes to bed.
___
Crawling back into the dorm after a long night, Miles pulls off his mask and lays down next to Ganke, who’s still playing his game. “Hobie, can I ask you something?”
“I’m asleep,” Hobie says from his sprawl on Miles’s bunk. The older boy must have snuck in while he was out and Ganke didn’t try to chase him out this time.
“Are you autistic?“
“Do it look like I’d care mate?” A boot falls off and hits Ganke’s leg, making him grumble in annoyance. Miles leans into him and rubs his arm until Ganke gets the hint and wraps it around the boy, not once taking his eye off the screen. 
Miles rolls his eyes. “And you, Ganke?”
“Probably. Mom said it’s ADHD but I don’t really care,” the boy mumbles in response, subconsciously leaning back into Miles, “not like it’d change anything.”
Miles smiles. That’s true, Ganke probably doesn’t care about anything like that. He’s always pretty chill when it comes to people- actually, that might not be the right word. He can be pretty harsh or wired, but everything he says is in a tired and chill way. “Remember that time you told me you hoped I died because I accidentally spilled sriracha all over your new pants?” Miles asks him, smiling at the memory.
Ganke laughs fondly, “Oh yeah, man I looked like I bled through and just never noticed. You were so lucky we were in here, I would have killed you if I had to walk across the cafeteria with sauce all on me.”
“Aw, you wouldn’t’ve done that. You love me too much to kill me.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“You do.”
Another boot drops on Ganke’s leg, and a pocket knife falls out of it when it hits the ground. Hobie grumbles from above, “Shut it, you two. I got a long day at the office tomorrow. Gotta bring home the bacon for the missus and youngins.”
“Hobie said shut up.”
“Really? I didn’t hear him,” Miles says, feeling himself slipping as he watched Peter (who looked very young in this game for some reason) fight some black-and-white guy in a suit. Huh. Would people make a game about him when he died? With the made-up villains? Would they put Ganke in the game?
Ganke slightly turns his head so his lips brush against Miles’s forehead for the briefest of seconds, bringing him back to reality before he fully zoned out, and tells him, “If they do, I’ll make sure they know to include your Strawberry Shortcake pajama sets.”
Miles brings his knees up to his chest, a quiet purr starting up as Peter proceeds to get his ass handed to him in a train car. Yikes.
___
“Are you autistic?” Miles asks Gwen.
“No, she’s just blonde,” answers Pavitr. 
“Shut up,” Gwen lightly punches Pavitr, still enough to send him flying across the roof, “No, I don’t have anything going on. Why?”
Miles wipes some blood from his lip. “I was just wondering. Let’s keep going,” he says, a bit breathless.
Gwen places a hand on her hip and asks him, “You sure? You look kind of tired. I get that we just started trying this out and all, but you don’t have to force yourself to join.”
The sparring meetups let him get rid of his energy, and the feeling of the punches that almost hurt remind him of where he is.The chokeholds that are tight against his throat make his lungs burn and that burn makes him feel all the more real. The body-slamming forces his mind to stop its aimless floating away from him and to keep track of what damage is being done. The rare moments of skin-to-skin contact are like moments of pure clarity, and he can’t lose that.
In the end, when he’s sweaty and exhausted, he feels human again. Normal. Right.
“I’m sure.”
___
During lunch, Ganke places a necklace on his lap. It had a dark red guitar pick-shaped object on what looked like a pretty long piece of dental floss.
“Pavitr wanted me to give this to you since he couldn’t find you,” Ganke tells him, “and he said to wash it before and after each time you use it.”
“Is this what I think it is?” he asks around a mouth of rice. 
“Chew necklace. We wanted to give you something else to bite instead of yourself,” Ganke gestures to the bandages on his arms that were barely visible. Miles pulls down his sleeve with a frown. Those were from last night, when his brain wouldn’t give him a break and kept making him think about all the sensations he hates, and his friend patched him up. Again.
Are Ganke’s eyebags getting worse?
Miles looked a bit skeptical. He saw a picture of one a few days ago, when he was at Gwen’s and researching more autistic traits. He'll definitely be looked at funny if he ever used it though, he just knows it. Sure, people chew on their pens and pencils, even he sometimes did that, but using basically a teething toy felt slightly insulting. The very sight of it makes it look right out of a children’s book, and it’s an uncomfortable weight on his thigh, reminding him of how different, in the bad way, he was compared to everybody else. He rolls his eyes at the unnecessary reminder.
“I’m not using that,” he tells him, taking another bite of his (actually Ganke’s, who was already full from the totally allowed and not-against-the-rules outing for breakfast they took) lunch. It was a good thing Ganke naturally liked to separate his foods a lot too.
“Too bad. You can’t keep self-cannibalizing yourself-” 
“Okay wow, that’s a little much-“
“-and expecting to be fine. Isn’t your mom a nurse? What about long lasting nerve-damage, or if you bite into an artery? Or if you start biting random people because your own self isn’t enough? You ever thought of that?” Ganke asks him, not looking up from his… whatever he’s doing on his laptop.
I don’t have to think about it if I already did that, thank you very much , Miles thinks. He keeps chewing, his frown growing more and more prominent by the second. “I’m not gonna bite people. I’m not like…” he tries to save some face with the lie, but trails off. He doesn’t wanna think about Miguel.
Ganke side eyes him. “Like what?”
Miles shakes his head. “Nothing. Nobody. Just go back to threatening random people in a children’s game or something,” he says, finishing up the last of the lunch. He’s probably going to have to eat really soon again with the stupidly enhanced metabolism.
“Dude, just take the necklace and try it, because if you start biting me, I don’t care how cute you are, I’m kicking your ass,” Ganke tells him with no real heat in his voice.
Miles cracks a smile against his will, and puts the necklace in his pocket. 
___
Dear Diary,
I’ve been looking online for some stories people have about their autism and how they figured it out, and apparently my organizing and oversensitivity is like a number one sign??? I thought it was just a little habit i picked up from mami and dad? And the spider senses is probably causing those other issues. And I don’t think i’m autistic but I could probably use the things they do to calm myself down or make life a bit more bearable. 
-organizing things
-a lot of stimming
-speech issues 
-hearing issues
-pressure ← try and finally ask for weighted blanket or save money
It’s a start i guess, and then I can bring it up to my dad as Spider-Man THEN mami THEN dad (important order don’t mess this up Morales). Anyway good note to end the entry on: Ganke kissed my forehead and he does that a lot but this time he said he was proud of me out of nowhere and said he’s getting a gift for us????? Hello???? I think it might have to do with Spider-Man stuff but he usually doesn’t care so its gotta be something else but WHAT!!!!
___
“Dad, I’m just saying,” Miles begins, holding his hands up in a surrendering way, as his father washes the dishes. He’s sitting down on the counter, lightly swinging his legs. “Give Maria’s a chance, you’ve never even tried their sandwiches! How do you know it’s bad?”
“I know what I like, and I don’t see a reason to suddenly chan-”
“Oh, wait, someone’s calling,” Miles interrupts him as he pulls his phone out, seeing Ganke’s name on the screen. What could he want? Ganke usually didn’t call him, opting to text, and definitely not before 12pm on a weekend.
“How can you even see? Your brightness is set to negative levels,” his dad said, trying his best to scrub some dried food off a plate. Miles never liked doing that, or even thinking about it, because it always made him feel like his fingers were some dangerous foreign object that he needed to rip off or felt the urge to dig his nails into his skin and tear his hair out. 
“You know the light hurts my eyes,” and makes me mad, he doesn’t say.
“Ganke? You need something?”
“No, was just checking on you,” the boy sleepily mumbles into the phone.
“Before 9am?” Miles loudly gasps, placing a hand on his chest.
“Shut up. I also got a package today and you’re gonna wanna check it out.”
“Mmmm I don’t know,” Miles says, fiddling with the string of his hoodie. “What is it?”
“It’s a surprise,” Ganke tells him, and Miles can imagine him rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and blindly patting the bed in search of his glasses. His hair is definitely sticking out wildly, a few strands stuck to his freckled cheeks. 
“You know I don’t like your surprises,” Miles grumbled into the phone. His dad gives him a slightly alarmed look, neither of them liked them. Ganke’s surprises usually involved someone being scared out of their mind, a wild animal (though he tends to blame Miles’s influence on that), and some piece of tech that might take over the world should he set it loose. In fact, the last time was all of that, and Miles had to call his dad, Hobie, and then Peter to solve the raccoon-with-an-atom-vaporizer-gun issue. And Miles was the one that got grounded longer, for some reason.
Anyway, he doesn’t like really Ganke’s surprises.
“No no no, you’ll like this one. I had to buy it,” Ganke tells him. “It’s kind of for us to share since I know I won’t use it as much.”
Miles can hear his soft footfalls on the wooden flooring as he left his carpeted room. 
“I’m asking you to come over,” Ganke clarifies, “it’s so safe that you can bring your dad. Trust me.”
“Man…”
“Dude, c’monnnn. If you come over I’ll…”
“You’ll what? Do my homework for me?” Miles jokes, ignoring the way his dad lets out a questioning hum.
“Nah man, I do that enough. I’ll let you take me to those weird abandoned places you like to paint at,” Ganke comes up with. Miles can hear water running and a toothpaste cap opening, and takes this as a sign to hang up.
“Deal, man. Love you, bye. We’ll be there in like twenty,” he says rather quickly so he doesn’t have to hear gross mouth noises and spitting. 
“We?” His dad lightly pushes at his shoulder on his way to dry his hands and get his glasses from the table.
Miles nods and gums in confirmation, “Stop acting like you don’t love Ganke, we’re just going see something real quick.”
His dad crosses his arms and looks down at him with an unimpressed stare, tilting his head to the dirty floors.
“And I’ll clean immediately when I get back.”
More staring. Miles looks down, unable to handle it.
“No messing around.”
Jeff nods and walks them both out the door.
An hour later, Jefferson sits on the Lees’ floor next to Miles, who’s fully covered in a fluffy white weighted blanket with only a small hole for his face, which reveals unfocused half-lidded eyes. It’s the calmest Jeff has ever seen his boy in a long time, maybe nearly two years, and it saddens him slightly to realize this, but he’s glad the blanket is helping.
Ganke sits next to Miles with his legs crossed and his elbows on his knees, gazing at the timer he set on his phone forlornly. 
“Dad,” Miles’s voice is barely audible.
“Yeah?”
“I think I’m autistic.”
Jeff blinks once. Twice. Three times. Takes his glasses off and cleans them before putting them back on again. He opens his mouth, closes it, and furrows his brow a few times. As he processes and tries to come up with a response.
On Miles’s end, he wonders, in the back of his mind, if he made some mistake and should have just stuck with the plan he wrote, but he’s too content right now to care. He hears Ganke exhale a bit forcefully through his nose, something he’s come to recognize as another laugh he has.
“Right. Uh, right. We’ll talk about this. At home. With your mother,” Jeff decides to say in an extremely halted and forced-confident tone.
Oh well. Probably won’t change anything.
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A/N: The end!!! I still have things that weren't important to say in the fic or Miles just wouldn't know them; Gwen has ADHD and is in denial, Pavitr has Autism & ADHD but hasn't told anyone, Hobie has autism but wouldn't know and doesn't call it that, Jeff is also autistic and doesn't know (the fic is originally called Autism BLAST for a reason), and that "Ms. Spider-Man" is entirely on purpose bc of the spores <3 All ooc thoughts is when the autism beast broke through. get the tranq darts
<<< Part 1
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tarisilmarwen · 9 months
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Rebels Rewatch: "Zero Hour"
Thrawn's master plan pays off in a devastating season finale.
I calculated out once approximately how many onscreen casualties we had on the Rebels' side from this battle. I'd like us to keep those figures in mind while we watch as a reminder of how well Thrawn's attack actually went.
(People tend to selectively forget that part when talking about how all the main characters managed to survive.)
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One of the Imperial musical motifs to open us up and even covered in smog and pollution Capital City is still pretty.
Unlike Tarkin's big entrance two seasons ago, there's only Konstantine and Pryce and a couple rote Stormtroopers to welcome Thrawn's shuttle. Because Thrawn does not bother with the flashy shows of force, with the politics and pomp and circumstance. All he cares about are results.
"Thrawn's Web" is in keyboard synths now instead of organs, for his first appearance, btw.
It's kind of adorable how Kallus repurposed the mouse droids to be spy cameras for him.
Our premise is set: Thrawn has figured out--from their sorties and surveys and smaller attacks, most likely--that Phoenix Squadron are preparing to move to attack Lothal's TIE factories. Tarkin doubts in their audacity, but Thrawn has seen Hera in action and knows she very much would dare.
This meeting with Tarkin is twofold, on the surface level a strategy conference, but also another attempt to bait out Fulcrum. Just as he used the map back in "Through Imperial Eyes", he uses this covert meeting to entice Kallus into warning the Rebellion, into taking action that would expose him.
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I don't think they ever followed up on this plot element they introduce here, that Thrawn apparently had spies tracking Dodonna's group? Unclear if they were in that Rebel cell or just had good eyes on them. My vote is the latter because Yavin remains undiscovered by the Empire both before and after this battle and the remnants of both Dodonna's group and Phoenix Squadron flee there safely.
Tarkin puts a single leash on Thrawn for the upcoming pre-emptive strike: Capture the leadership alive. If not for this one condition, I'm pretty sure Thrawn would have just slaughtered both Rebel groups in full. Thrawn doesn't seem particularly bothered by this condition, in any case, not a single sign of annoyance or displeasure on his face, but a soft smile instead.
Leaning hard into these OT feels with Luke's Theme and what sounds like ambient noise lifted directly from the Yavin scenes in New Hope.
There's a distinct feeling of optimism here. Ezra is happily gushing about how much everyone else has done for the Rebellion. (Love that cute little wavering gesture he does with his hand to qualify Chopper's contributions lol.) And then Kanan says some of it was Ezra too and ugh my heart.
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He immediately deflates and dismisses his own contributions. "Kanan, I... I didn't do any of this." and my brain goes immediately to his soft guilty, "I didn't do anything." from all the way back in the pilot and the self-esteem issues he's shown throughout the series, how he has trouble believing in himself, how he doesn't think he's anything without Kanan and the others, that there's nothing special about him. He thinks he would have been stuck on Lothal "waiting to be rescued like everyone else".
(This is one of the reasons Ezra's grief over Kanan later turns largely self-pitying.)
Kanan's "Ezra, you have never been like everyone else." stabs me right in the gut, hgn. This whole conversation about how Hera saw something special in Ezra, and he did too (eventually), how he wonders if there's even anything left he can teach Ezra... even with the death flags all over it it's still pure heartwarming, basically an open acknowledgement of Kanan as Ezra's father figure.
"He commands one of the largest Rebel cells I know of." HA. HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA. HAAAAAAA. *cries*
It's... adorable that Kallus was using Ezra's old comm tower to send his Fulcrum messages. Kind of stupid, because of course that would be the place to check for a Rebel spy heavily associated with a former Lothal-based group, he may as well have put out a big welcome mat for Thrawn, but it's cute nonetheless.
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This fight has been analyzed a few times by people much more keen to this stuff than me but I do like how blunt and precise Thrawn's every move is. Also I did notice that Thrawn targeted Kallus's bad knee (the one he broke on Bahryn).
*grumbles* The "heart of a Rebel" line would have been just that much more awesome if it was a bit more earned. *grumbles*
You know I think this blather about Kallus providing the last clue Thrawn needed is a bunch of bullshit, Thrawn already knew the planet was there, he saw it in the artwork he was studying and realized it had been deleted off his map.
Man just wanted to gloat.
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Kallus's face tho. :((((
Continuity callback to "Legacy" and the Empire flushing them off Garel.
The slow build-up of this ambush is great. Fulcrum cutting out, Ryder mentioning the fleet above Lothal just vanished, Hera and Ezra realizing with horror what that means, Sato called away to see the Star Destroyers dropping out of hyperspace, Ryder's holoimage vanishing...
And that final nail of dread when you realize Thrawn brought Interdictors to the battle to cut off their escape.
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And there's the flagship in all her glorious splendor.
Thrawn's theme creeping in eerily here as the man himself decides to call in and gloat some more. With any other character this might be empty bravado but we know by now that Thrawn can back this threat up.
And so the stage is set.
Hera quickly realizes she can't brunt force her way through Thrawn's fleet without suffering heavy casualties, so her plan is to try and open the formation up enough to get a ship through to summon reinforcements, basically a Gondor Calls For Aid ploy. They hold out until help arrives behind the Imperial vanguard to distract them, hopefully allowing the Rebels to slip through.
"As Jedi you have the best chance to escape." Oof, Hera knows just how small their opening is going to be, going to need an assist from Force-imbued quick reflexes. And she knows the Alliance responds stronger to calls to action from Jedi, because Jedi are the inspiration, the standard bearers, Jedi make people hope.
Kanan planning on enlisting Bendu and Hera having no idea what he means lolol.
These goodbye/good luck shoulder touches mean everything ghkjh.
Luke's Theme struggles to break in, but the note progression is wrong, ascending to shorter heights than it should be. The heroism of the theme is hesitant, uncertain.
Thrawn's already pegged Sato's strategy, recognizing it by name and implements countermeasures smoothly. The plan to try and spread out the Star Destroyers is dead on arrival before it can get started, Thrawn closes formation and relies on the fighters to batter the front guard of the Rebel forces.
Konstantine whines about why aren't they charging in at full strength and Thrawn shuts him down, warning that the Rebels are going to do something unexpected and that it's only his strategy that's going to win out, shut up, sit down, and follow MY orders. Kallus, who has worked with Konstantine for years, knows exactly how Konstantine is going to take being told to stay put, exactly how he'll see it--as a petty fight for glory.
Thrawn dismisses that. He's not interested in glory, only results. And this is where his lack of political acumen is going to come back and bite him.
Hera enters the battlefield herself, and we see Wedge too. Kanan, meanwhile, is trekking it out to the Bendu hollow to go be a nuisance and give an excellent deconstruction of why neutrality in the face of evil is not only less than helpful it actively harms the righteous cause because With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility, if you can act to defeat an evil or work against it you should. This is why Empire stans' crowing about how there were good decent people working for the Empire holds very little water, at a certain point Joe the Average Stormtrooper is going to either witness or be asked to participate in some type of atrocity or injustice, and what they do when confronted with the knowledge "Oh, the organization I work for is actually Really Terrible And Evil." matters. If they bury their ears in the sand and declare, "Not my problem." they're complicit in the daily tyranny and oppression of the system they uphold.
"But when I saw innocents harmed, and knew I had the power to do something about it, I couldn't just watch it all burn down around me!" *CRIES IN "THE JEDI CODE IS LIKE AN ITCH, HE CANNOT HELP IT" FEELINGS*
Ezra's job thus far seems to be to help pick off Imperial fighters and stay out of enough dogfights to watch for his opening. He looks stressed.
Sato changes strategy, ordering a charge. It's disastrous immediately, they lose like three big ships in the space of thirty seconds. And Ezra can't edge around the battlefield far enough to get access to the hyperspace lane opening.
Frick, the frustration in his voice...
This pushes Sato to attempt the Rebel Alliance's favorite tactic: Ram a ship into another ship. This kind of heroic self-sacrifice happens all the time on the Alliance's side, a kind of lighter version of a kamikaze attack, an "If I gotta die I'm taking you down with me!" kind of desperate bravery.
The two pilots that stay behind out of loyalty to Sato says nothing really about them and everything about Sato and the kind of man he is, that people would willingly elect to stay with him to the bitter end.
Sato has them head on a course that seems like they're attempting to escape. Konstantine sees it and takes the bait, defying Thrawn and moving out of position.
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Ho ho man the shock on Thrawn's face.
At the last second Sato has the pilots swerve course and plow into Konstantine's Interdictor and THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE A REACTION SHOT FROM MART, GUYS, JUST SAYING.
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Godspeed sir. *sobs*
Ezra slips through and Thrawn has his fleet tighten once again, repositioning his remaining Interdictor and you can hear the vaaaaaaaaguest hint of irritation in Thrawn's voice here lol.
Organs punctuate this cue, hints of Thrawn's theme overhanging, threatening.
Back down on the ground Kanan's Persuasion Check isn't working so now he switches to insults.
Bendu ah... does not take kindly. I think it's actually kind of hilarious that the whole terrible "It was the will of the Force that the Jedi get genocided!" take is put into the mouth of Bendu after he got pissy for being called a coward. I feel like that maybe was deliberate. Like, "You wanna be like this asshole, fandom? Yeah, didn't think so."
Ezra is having similar trouble getting help from Mon, who feels like sending any of their limited forces to the battle would just reveal them further to Thrawn, alluding to some kind of disagreement she and Bail had about this matter. Bail apparently thought it was too soon for open war. (And that's why he's still in the Senate and Mon abdicated to shore up the Alliance.) I think it runs deeper than that, though, Mon is many things but she's not a strategist and she knows it. In a way she's almost a foil to Thrawn, skilled in politics and people but ill-adept at battle, whereas Thrawn does not understand politics but is a devastating war general.
Ezra's not ready to just abandon Phoenix Group though, so he beelines straight for the person who's been missing from things this whole time.
For Sabine. <3
She's talked about a lot in the opening scene in the next episode, too, reminding us she's not been here. Thrawn's fleet has now made a blockade cover directly overhead of the base, and they're preparing for orbital bombardment.
The worry in Hera's voice when urges Kanan, "Faster... please?" <3
Heeeeeeeeeey remember that time the holonet referenced Base Delta Zero and I told y'all it was basically a bunch of Star Destroyers holding in orbit and glassing everything on a planet's surface?
NOW YOU GET TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE DIRECTLY UNDER ONE! :D
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Frick that's terrifying.
Thrawn's theme plays in brass, an overwhelming drama to the score as the batteries fall. I love the way this is shot, with close-ups on Thrawn and Hera's faces as if they're staring at each other from across the battlefield. Thrawn doesn't order the ceasefire until Hera flinches, turning her eyes and bracing.
This Base Delta Zero was not solely an intimidation tactic, however. Thrawn likely weakened the localized shield enough for the ground forces to be able to penetrate. He does have his directions from Tarkin and a ground assault will more likely yield him living prisoners than continuing the bombardment.
"I'm getting the feeling Thrawn's actually trying to kill us this time." "Ohhh-ho that is only funny because you're still alive. Now please, come home, love." <3333333 They are so married. So so married. It's actually been a while since Hera called him "love" so she must be feeling Some Type Of Way right now.
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HER FACE.
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SHE WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM. <3
They're both immediately in front of Ursa together to petition her. And they are this close to holding hands sssfdsrrrhfhghh.
Kallus cackling because he knows he can get under Pryce's skin like he can't get under Thrawn's.
Thrawn still sounds just a smidge annoyed. :)
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Ezra preparing to leave by himself empty-handed until Sabine declares, "And Rohan will answer!"
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Curse this photo limit I'm going to need to make a separate post of just their interactions there's so much good subtle stuff here.
SABINE THINKS THEY CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE EZRA BELIEVES THEY CAN, CRIPES I AM UNWELL.
Sabine thinking strategically and figuring out the obvious target. <3
Meanwhile Rex has set up a choke point to hopefully slow the ground forces down, buy Ezra enough time to come back with help.
Nnghhghkh I didn't think the AT-DPs were capable of freaking me out but that whole big cluster of them all advancing slowly is uh... a good contender.
Thrawn apparently sent the AT-DP company to sus out the Rebels' defenses, so now he's sending in the big bois, the AT-ATs. Not the first or last time he would sacrifice lower level troops to a specific objective. This also serves to prime us to expect multiple waves from Thrawn, which would be used to devastating effect next season.
Love this Big Damn Heroes moment from Kanan here. <3 One Jedi, one nice slice with the lightsaber, felled a whole walker.
The build-up to the Bendu storm is great too, the clouds keeping on rolling in and darknening. Atollon doesn't actually seem to get storms very often, the only two times we've seen it storming were in "Visions And Voices" and now. It does make Thrawn look very intimidating.
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EEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
And the first thing our Mandalorian reinforcements do is jam transmissions. Not sure from where to where, from the Interdictor to the other Destoyers? From the Destroyers to the ground troops? Just trying to figure out how much of Pryce not telling Thrawn about the Mandos was her failure versus she literally couldn't call him.
Right so Pryce's first mistake was moving the capital ships, Thrawn had them smack over the base for a reason. Now there are gaps in the formation that the Rebel ships can slip through. The Fang fighters were sent in as a distraction while Ezra and Sabine bring the gauntlet in to attack the Interdictor.
AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER TO HEAR THE HEROIC VARIATION OF THE "SHENANIGANS" CUE.
AT-ATs firing up through the coral overhangs from below, at the landing platforms the Rebels have made on one of the big leaves.
Hera sounds like she was getting ready to make a last stand, she was insistent on being in the Ghost when she went out and she sounded astonished to hear Ezra.
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ANDTHENTHERE'STHISASSHOLE.JPEG.
*pillows hands* It is fascinating that Thrawn specifically threatens Kanan first to get Hera to surrender. Methinks he has discerned the "special relationship" the two have.
He keeps his hand on his own sidearm, too, makes me wonder if he was planning on doing some of the executions personally.
Thrawn was all ready with some type of comment about not being afraid of the weather and then the lightning struck a liiiiiiiiiitle too close lol.
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He's already looking up at the sky like, "Okay that ain't natural." and Bendu's face hasn't even emerged yet lololol.
Angry god face in the clouds and and everyone basically just scatters ha ha. Troopers go that way, Rebels go that way, this is a little awkwardly staged so yeah it does kind of feel like the Imperials just let Hera and the others go.
But again. Angry god face in the clouds hurling lightning bolts down on you. I feel like they don't cover that scenario in training lol.
Sabine with faith in Hera to get the others out awww.
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HELLO YES, MY SHIP BE BATTLE COUPLE NOW Y/Y?
"Shenanigans" coming in again, grimmer and more serious than ever, such a far cry from its original instrumentation.
"Hey, I don't have a jetpack." "You have those little thrusters!"
*raises finger, opens mouth*
Was... was that supposed to sound like some kind of "size joke" innuendo?
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<333333
"I might have made him angry." Lol just a bit, Kanan, just a bit.
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A very atmospheric last look at Atollon.
Don't think we've ever heard Thrawn shouting before, he's trying very hard not to be unnerved lol. And amazingly his, "Shoot the hell out of whatever that is." idea works. Props to Thrawn he took down a literal physical god.
I love the whole fight atop the Interdictor it's just so visually interesting. And Ezra is awesome throughout.
Kallus makes his move once Pryce is sufficiently rattled and flustered by the Interdictor blowing up, sassing her into ordering him out the airlock.
Even with the second Interdictor gone, not all the ships make it through.
I love the way the Stormtroopers Kallus takes out just slowly slide down the wall ha ha. Also love that his escape plan was basically, "Eject myself into an open battlefield, send coordinates, and pray."
I love this music cue, it captures the drama and pyrrhic nature of their escape.
Aaaaaah yes, the Thrawn-Bendu conversation of Foreshadowing. I love this. Thrawn once again trying valiantly not to show how disturbed he is by all of this, Bendu sounding astonished that he was actually hurt by something and then the prophetic words:
"I see your defeat... like many arms surrounding you in a cold embrace."
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Fandom had a hard time puzzling that one out I tell ya.
SINGLE TAKE SHOT.
This shot is so good, how we slowly track Kanan as he moves through the Ghost, pausing to listen to important conversations, how he puts a hand on Zeb's shoulder as he passes. THE MUSIC.
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Underrated and undeveloped friendship, I want so much more interaction between these two. Fic recs? Anyone? Bueller?
Kanan makes his way to Ezra in the nose gun, who is dejected and somber. Losing Atollon is not just a blow to the Alliance, but a blow to him personally, since it was the attack to help Lothal that got interrupted by Thrawn's ambush. He'd just spend the whole previous episode getting his head back right about his purpose and true goal and place in the story and now it seems further away than ever and that much harder to accomplish.
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For some bizarre reason fandom took Kanan's, "There's a future for us, one where we're all free." as much more literal foreshadowing than I think it merited. Mostly after the fact, to complain that it was some kind of broken narrative promise after Kanan died. Guys c'mon, this is meant to be taken in context, as Kanan comforting Ezra with promises of hope, just like Hera did at the end of "Visions of Hope". This is not a prophecy, the "us" is a general us not specifically Kanan-and-Ezra us and the repetition of "I've learned to see things differently" is about reorienting your perspective, not Kanan saying he's literally getting visions.
Anyway, on Kanan's note of optimism in the face of defeat, the remnants of the fleet jump into hyperspace and close us out.
"Zero Hour" definitely has a bit of that Empire Strikes Back pyrrhic victory feel, we escaped and live to fight another day, but the cost was high, the attack on Lothal's factories was delayed and will remain off sometime in an indeterminate future, we lost a major Rebel base and were dealt a severe blow to morale. The Alliance moves more hesitantly after this, afraid to tip its hand too far and attract Thrawn's attention. The camerawork is fantastic throughout and there's a feeling of homecoming as our scattered characters come back together. With a few quibbles, this finale is very very good.
Overall Season Thoughts:
Season Three is the most uneven in quality of the show. The standout episodes are among the more fantastic of the show's run, but the duds fall even flatter. There are episodes that are solid but just "okay", plot threads and elements that are introduced only to receive no follow-up, and overall it feels just a bit messier than the previous two seasons.
That being said... it's still my favorite season. XD I tallied it up and the majority of my favorite episodes were here so what ya gonna do?
Coming to the final stretch here, one more season to go. I expect to breeze through this one since I've already done liveblog reactions to the whole of Season Four so I'll mostly be rambling meta about music and themes and character arcs and of course commenting on my favorite bits and pieces.
See y'all at the finish line!
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roaldseth · 8 months
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Is triangle strategy good cause I've heard mixed opinions
My biased opinion: absolutely yes.
My unbiased opinion: absolutely yes.
But, just so you don't just jaunt about your day saying "well that wasn't helpful at all!" This is a more thorough breakdown below to why I like and recommend Triangle Strategy, as well as going into some common reasons as to why people say it's bad or have mixed feelings.
First and foremost as a disclaimer: I am not an SRPG enthusiast. I don't Fire Emblem or Tactics Ogre or what have you. However, I will address things in a broad sense and not things specifically for the genre.
>>STORY: The game opens you into a rather standard medieval-esque fictional setting; its land divided into 3 major powers: the Kingdom of Glenbrook, the Grand Duchy of Aesfrost, and the Holy State of Hyzante, each conveniently color coded for easy recognition and also have their own purposes and ideals. The farther you travers through the paths, for multiple routes await, and its history, the political and martial machinations quickly unfold from easy-going times to one absolutely engulfed in harrowing accounts stemming from no right answers. Despite any preset allegiances, the player, as a young newly appointed lord of the most acclaimed High House of Glenbrook, sits in-between the 3 forces and becomes the epicenter of the continent's, Norzelia's, fate.
Triangle Strategy is a game about harsh wartimes, the impossible decisions needed to make and end them, and the many results that you have directly and indirectly caused. Recently, I had made a post on other social media in which I noted that this game took me a very long time to complete because I had, at point, become physically unable to play from choice aversion and the dangers of outcomes. This is not a flaw of Triangle Strategy. This is its purpose. In those times, the game had done exactly what it was meant to do, so that aspect or level of anxiety while playing a first run-through is not appealing, then it might be something to reconsider with entertaining. However, I will say that eventually you can get accustomed and it can become easier to make those less than desirable choices. The common consensus that I also agree with is to play through your first run as blindly as possible, moving forward with your instincts and gut and even emotions rather than a guide or walkthrough. This is greatly reinforced with the Convictions mechanic, and baby virtually everything counts towards conviction. Pet that cat. You will feel better about it, trust me.
Throughout your path(s) you are presented with a variety of situations. Thought the main story is dire after the first handful of chapters, there is reprieve with character stories that range from silly to heartwarming to melancholic and just an all around fun way of knowing a little bit more on who certain characters are and how they interact with others and the world around them. The script itself isn't difficult, not written in an unintelligible old english, but in just enough way to get the feel of antiquity without being completely lost, making things seem more colorful. There's even a differentiation between characters who'll say "aye" as opposed to a more modern "yes," which is just delightful in my opinion.
The world-building however is understood enough to serve its purpose, but the exact details of many things are left up in the air for question if you look slightly below the surface. Though I personally am left wanting more because I fancy lore, it's very "a piece of a fiction novel" about it. It owns a lot of things it doesn't explain and that's what any writer would do if they were to create a fantasy novel with complex systems and history. It knows what's important to make it move.
As a close off, I would like to note one thing that I think was very bold of Triangle Strategy and that was its endings. Though there is a coveted ending that many strive for, even then the options you are ultimately given are all the results of the ones you hold closest giving in to their lowest selves, and because they are at their worst, the endings reflect that. That one specific, coveted ending is often remarked as "ill planned" and not necessarily thought out well from attempting to neatly tie everything back up into a happy present in contrast to the others, but as someone who's delved through the trenches of the MegaTen (Shin Megami Tensei) franchise and fandom, there is something to be said about "keeping the status quo" and it is that its delaying an ultimate inevitability. "Neutral" isn't always best or superior or a "happy ending."
>>CAST: Triangle Strategy truly is a game that has a character for everyone. It is large, but it is not skimping for quality. You will see literally any flavor of war veteran old man to pretty young adult boys that could've been a boyband in a different time to strong and independent battle women, many good and bad strong battle women, to peepaw who is probably in his 80s but is everyone's grandpa and a sniper. Each character feels like there was a level of care given into them, and even some all the more revealed after they are no longer able to. The world interacts, it breaths, and so does Norzelia's inhabitants.
For playable characters, there are 30 playable units to acquaint one's self with, each with their own unique class, weapons, and aptitudes. No one unit's development tree is interchangeable, which falls more into the category below (Gameplay), but it's also important in a way to see them as individuals. You will remember everyone's names, even with units that aren't your favorites or play style.
Outside of playable units, there still is a hefty list of important NPCs that are not any less composed, orchestrated, or of variation than our playable characters. Sometimes you will be in an instance struggling to remember what the fuck Clarus had done or who Patriette is or that Tenebris is still one of the Saintly Seven, but... the magic is in the fact that Triangle Strategy is designed to be experienced more than once to get the full effect. They too have their needs and reasons.
If you as a player want to do one run-through and call it quits, you will certainly still have an impressionable experience, but it will only grow the more invested. I didn't find it that hard because I had fallen in love with everything Triangle Strategy has to offer, so I had my own compulsion to keep moving with it, but if it doesn't ultimately strike you in that way, it is a part you will miss. But that is still okay though.
>>GAMEPLAY: Triangle Strategy is accessible for any level of strategist to stumble through with its difficulty settings. There is an Easy, Normal, and Hard mode. It's common for players to even try their hands at Hard, Deathless runs (I don't know if this is a trophy on Steam. I played on Switch). Battles have a staggering variation of difficulties and difficulty spikes, but there are ways to mediate trouble battles you can't seem to get right. Besides difficulty settings, the game also offers a Quietus mechanic which act as a one-time, additional maneuver without taking a units turn up. Quietus has limits but there's many different actions that you can always implement to save your ass. Personally, 99% of the time I forgot Quietus existed and really only used them on mock battles and final battles mostly to see what they did or save me from having to do another 1+ hour of battle or whatever. But, most battles, you can absolutely pull off without Quietus. You can pull off a number of things a first run-through that many people struggle with and/or guides will tell you to use [character or ability you don't have] or certain strategy you can't get right or whatever.
I will touch upon this again below because it is a common comment, but Triangle Strategy's main course is narrative. To experience it, you need to be ready and understand that it has a story to tell. It has multiple stories to tell, and for that you will have long sections that are mainly dialogue, meaty dialogue too. The type of player that just wants to experience battle and "raw crunch gameplay" is not going to have a favorable opinion on the game format because not all mechanics are tied profitably into battle (if anything it's the other way around). You will have battles, and you can mock battle all you want at the tavern, but story battles are sparse to keep point and potency. That being said though, voting and persuasion is a major, at the heart concept of Triangle Strategy which ties into the aforementioned Convictions mechanic because we love democracy in this House until we don't and is not convenient! Play Triangle Strategy as a story and experience, the gameplay is mainly there to support and accentuate it.
If I tried to point out every little thing about Triangle Strategy this post would be miles long. The game explains and leans into everything very well so enjoy the stuff that isn't mentioned as much in their natural habitat in a relevant way for your own interests.
There is a great "divide" amongst players on wether or not Triangle Strategy is a "good" or "bad" game, and ultimately it boils down to understand who you are as a player, as a gamer. Note your interests and what you enjoy in a game and then gauge, because despite "oh it was bad," "oh it didn't do this," "oh it didn't do X thing that's better," "oh let me romance the blorbos together" the game pulled off a lot of executional aspects really well in its own ways to be its own identity. But, to comment about the common comments:
>>"The game doesn't have enough battles"
The game has an amount of battles actually. There's one battle a chapter, which is probably the hubbub on why people might think there "aren't enough." But most routes are 20 chapters, so that's 20 battles. It's just that chapters also vary in length and some can be long. Then, there's 35 mental mock battles available in the tavern of the encampment, realistically likely only seeing ~21 of them on a first play through though.
But, battling as a mechanic I consider a secondary mechanic to its main purpose: Conviction. Because there also is a certain thing that happens also in chapters, sometimes before battles, sometimes before votes, and that's exploration. This is a way to 1) gain a sense of a map that will likely be used as a battle map somewhen in your run, but also to 2) gain more conviction. Exploration is just as much of a thing in Triangle Strategy as combat.
So, in the end, I don't think the problem here is the battles, but rather the pacing the game presents. The player will be met with an interesting experience of feeling everything is dire and needs to be handled right away, while simultaneously moving rather slow and leisurely with no way to course correct because it's not side quests holding you down but the actual main event.
>>"The demo was slow and boring"
Unfortunately, I did not play early demos, because if memory serves me correct there were multiple versions. From friends, they have said that the early demos and final products are two separate games. Do not trust.
Then, the final demo which you can probably still download on the store (I haven't checked), is its final form, but much like Octopath Traveler, the demo presented is the beginning, it's the opening. If I remember correctly the demo goes to Chapter 3, which is ironic because after then is when things start spiraling downhill really, really fast. So by then you are introduced to the major components of Triangle Strategy. You experience the dialogue storytelling, you get through exploration, there's battles, there is a voting point in which you are introduced to the infamous Scales of Conviction, so it really touches upon all of the moving bits that make the game move. You get brief understanding of the state of Norzelia, its last major conflict, and the future prospects and direction it is moving in; none of which goes in any manner on how anyone wants it to move.
>>"The story is just Game of Thrones"
There's a special secret: any medieval fantasy setting is just "Game of Thrones" because Game of Thrones is the most recent rendition that is popular among the masses. Besides general, not-at-all-surprising political maneuvering and scheming, there really isn't one point in which it's overtly cumbersome as "ripping off" the award winning novel series, because a lot also stands to fact that history is just like that too. "There's powerful Houses that everyone has to watch out for and [other thing that I won't disclose because I think you'll get a better experience not knowing]" yeah and so did regular Europe back in the day, but now it's fictional and maximized to make an interesting story. Actually, Houses and clans are still a thing, I'd imagine, but have mainly been reduced to icons (but don't quote me on that).
Conquest, wars of successions, religious wars, whatever the Boston Tea Party is, power hungry individuals, people abusing power, puppet states/nations, and a lot of other things are historical events and writing tropes to be used as narrative devices. Whatever media you have consumed beforehand effecting your vision and enjoyment is unique to each individual and only influenced by that individual.
>>"The game has terrible voice acting."
Well, first off, show some pity on the voice actors. I don't know their full conditions but also note that the artbook lists that Triangle Strategy's art production was from 2018-2022, and well, a certain pandemic happened in early 2019. It was likely by at least September 2021 that they had finalized voiced lines because teasers were going out with used tracks and lines. I don't remember when the first teaser went out, I was only alerted by several people when Benedict happened because of my character brand, and that's the moment it was over for me to be honest.
But, disregarding that, I'm no expert, but I love how some voices were done. I can still distinctly hear what Erador sounds like, like Mr. Wingert's voice greatly helped define Erador. Sure, I do recall originally opening Triangle Strategy for the first time and listening to Benedict speak and he was very.... flat, but in a very specific way. However, now in hindsight, I have a great appreciation for that because now knowing Benedict, what else was he supposed to sound like? It has a different interpretation and understanding when seeing what's attached to who and how, and in early game with a lot of characters to keep track of that doesn't always click. But, damn, if I do not mimic Lionel every time I say "yes, ha ha, yes" like that's voice acting, it sticks like a tv commercial.
Even though I have thoroughly went off in a lot of directions, I just cannot cover everything. I am absolutely open for engagement if anyone would like further discussion about anything I didn't cover or did cover. Thank you for the ask, and I hope this helped in some manner.
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dykedragonrider · 2 years
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Elden Ring’s Rot Girls
Thinking about the fact that yeah, Malenia reproduced during that first bloom, and propagated her metaphorical seed. Her bloom was in combat, which would make them technically cuttings. Cuttings are genetic clones of their original plant, fitting the asexual reproduction that it was. Very surface level but neat.
But I think the neat thing is is when you look at *why* people cut plants, and it's to create an abundance of what they want, at risk to the plant (because monocultures are bad y'all! I know you may like the bloom but let them reproduce naturally) for their own joy. I think this is paralleled in the Servants of Rot (or at least Gowry) trying to turn Millicent into the next Rot Goddess, ignoring her wants and needs and health for the sake of his selfish pursuits.
Notably, the metaphor of propagation for her reproduction is strengthened by the text on the Needle when you get it back from Millicent in the Haligtree, specifically the line of "but is faintly moist with dew." Propagations are best done in early morning, where there would be dew on the plant, fitting that Millicent is seen as (and I hate to use this term but there isn't one better) fertile, by Gowry, to bloom were she to be betrayed.
The other best time indication for propagation is before the plant can bloom in the first place, such as when it's still budding. If you look at the description for Millicent's Prosthesis, "The despair of sweet betrayal transformed Millicent from a mere bud into a magnificent flower." can then reinforce the fact that she's a cutting, something only created by people interfering (initially on accident, but later by someone else's selfish wants).
All this is to say, I think it's neat that Malenia and her offspring are treated, in some ways, like trophies or decorations. Things to look at, to be prepared for the eyes of others, with little regard for their own sakes. Despite that, they still vy for self determination in some ways. Millicent less so than Malenia, even though her desire to return home and restore what was taken from her unwilling parent when she was born is such a goddamn odd idea as a human, but... Flowers wilt, rot, and are taken by the earth to be reused when they die.
It also makes Miquella all the more special to me, in terms of his relationship with Malenia. He looked at a flower he knew could produce such radiant blooms but was taken by something terrible, and tried to move heaven and earth, find whatever he could to make sure she could bloom on her own terms. I know there’s a lot of talk of what Malenia does for Miquella, in her devotion to him that grounds her, but the fact it goes both ways the way it does, it’s goddamn heartwarming to see family members in Elden Ring caring about each other.
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justatypicalwizard · 9 months
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The Weight of a Butterfly | Chapter 3
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✦ Shinazugawa Sanemi x femReader
✦ Synopsis: Sanemi gets a new Butterfly Girl who he really doesn't like at first, or even at all. Or maybe he does? Short, heartwarming, fluff story.
✦ Warnings: reader is described as an orphan, no smut
✦ From author: This is my first book written in English. It does contain a bunch of mistakes and overall isn't that great when it comes to writing skills. Nonetheless, I have a great sentiment for it and still adore the plot, that's why I decided to (re)post it. If you want to see my writing progress you can catch up on one of my more recent works.
Word count: 1k
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Waking up, you sat in your bed. It was always weird to gut up in a strange room. Now this was your room. It was big and it was only you here.
Memories from last night hit you. You and your master came to his Estate, which was close to the village, the whole way in silence. He showed you your room and left you here. You had the whole evening to think about how much you messed up. You thought about making this up for him. Changing into the clothes that you found in the cupboard, you made your way down. Your outfit was simple and white. You looked like a housekeeper. Shinazugawa was nowhere to be found.
You explored the Estate. It had two storeys and was not very decorated. There were no flowers, no paintings. Just walls, floor, and a lot of empty rooms.
Looking out of the window you spotted your master training in the garden with some dummies. The garden looked better. There were stone paths and rockeries everywhere. A few tries gave shade in some places and there was a single rocking bench to sit. You could do a lot of things in that garden.
You ran down to the kitchen wanting to make breakfast. Unfortunately, the kitchen was empty. You had to ask Shinazugawa for some cash for groceries. You found a way to the garden, took a deep breath, and pushed the doors outside.
Shinazugawa was training hard, sweat dripping from his chin and forehead. He only had loose trousers on himself which made you look at him, no matter how hard you didn't want to. His skin was strewn with scars.
Suddenly he stopped smashing his sword into the dummies and turned your way.
''What are you staring at?'' He gave you a questioning look, rather an angry one.
''Sorry master.'' You bowed. ''I wanted to ask if you would be willing to hand me some money for the groceries. I wish to make you a meal.''
''I eat at the stall where I was yesterday.'' He shrugged his arms and went back to training.
Little did he know that now you were angry. Cooking was a sanctity for you. You loved to cook and nothing was better than a homemade meal. There were so many recipes for soups, main courses, and desserts. This whole thing was about to go to trash because of a simple 'I eat at the stall'.
''I am deeply sorry master, but I need to disobey you once more!'' You stated, looking at him.
He turned your way with an unsettling look.
''You got two orders and you can't follow even one?''
''I am deeply sorry master! As a Butterfly Girl I need to take care of your health and think that eating at a stall all the time is not best for you. You need certain meals depending on your training and wounds. I will cook for you.'' This was bold, but you crossed your hands on your chest.
Shinazugawa was a bit shocked. No other Butterfly Girl ever opposed him in this matter. Why was this one so eager to cook for him? Whatever, it would only make his food cheaper.
Master made his way towards you. When he crossed past you, you could feel the heat of his body. He was really training hard. You heard some coins rattling behind you, then, something banging on a wooden surface.
''Here.'' Was all that he said.
✦✦✦
Coming back with the groceries, you made your way to the kitchen. Finally it looked like someone actually lived here. You also bought some flowers and seeds to give a bit of a charm to the rest of the house. It was for your master's mental health. Kidding, you just felt like you lived in a ghost town.
Preparing the meal you thought about how you cooked for that guy even if he was so mean to you. Yes, you made mistakes, but you barely knew him and it was all new. Whatever, it's your job and you're a hard worker.
When the late breakfast was ready you packed it all, a few small dishes, on a bamboo tray, and went to your masters rooms. He had the whole part of the house for himself. You only peaked a bit while talking to him through the garden, but you actually never stepped into his part of the estate.
You knocked on the large door. They were painted light blue and had wind likenesses on them. Someone skilled must have painted it. You heard a faint 'come in'.
Pushing the door to the side you saw your master sitting and doing... you didn't even know what. He was just sitting there. He must have been doing something, but maybe he didn't want to show you. Why must he act like such a non-human?
You put the tray on a table.
''I hope you will like it, master.'' You bowed.
He didn't move an inch.
''After you finish breakfast I wanted to ask, would you agree to a massage? You can't leave your muscles like that after a hard training session. It's not efficient.'' Of course you didn't mean any sexy massage, you wanted to give him old, good muscle breaking.
''Never used them.'' He responded.
''I insist.''
''Why are you so stubborn?''
''I want to do my job good for you.''
He looked you in the eye, but you didn't back off.
''Okay.'' He made his way to the table.
''Where do you wish to have the massage?''
''Do you need to ask about everything? Just do what you think is best and leave me.'' he got angry.
''I don't need to ask if you don't wish me to.'' This magical sentence could give you so many new perspectives here, he just has to agree.
''Whatever.''
''Good, see you in thirty in your garden, master.'' You bowed with a sinister smile.
After you left the room Shinazugawa looked at the door you just disappeared behind.
Annoying, stubborn, weak, pretty and silly... everyone of them is like that. 
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SERIES MASTERLIST
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Text
Why I love a whisper of the heart
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Today I watched this movie, and this was my first Ghibli movie ever. It took me a while to even get here or choose which Ghibli film to start out with. This film is about a teenage girl who has literally no idea what she wants to do in life, a sentiment which I and countless other teenagers feel. Throughout this movie, the girl, Shizuku, gradually becomes more sure of herself and what she wants to do in life, a sentiment which I and countless other teenagers don’t really feel, but hey that’s what adolescence is for.
This movie doesn’t really have a plot, it’s just a peak in the life of Shizuku, a slice of her life, if you will. It goes through her everyday life and a little more added on top. Her everyday life typically consists of going to school, chatting with her best friend, and reading and reading, much to her relatively uncaring family’s dismay.
This movie is really relatable to me, and not just in the typical way. Bocchi the Rock!, another show which I really enjoy, is relatable too, but moreso in the sense of the main character going through scenarios I typically go through and as I watch it I think “haha relatable”.
Whisper, however, is relatable in a different arguably better way. This movie understands what it’s like to grow up and wonder what you’re going to do with your life. This movie understands what it’s like to have a lot of self-doubts, and constantly and unfairly comparing yourself to people who are better than you at wildly different things. This movie understands what it’s like to have a huge passion for doing something but you’re not that good at it. 
The point is, this movie isn’t just relatable, it completely gets an artist/writer/creator and their struggle with their creations.
I only watched this movie today but I am in love with it for the reasons listed above. I’m an aspiring “artist”, if you could even call my work that. I love to draw, but there are so, so many difficulties that come with this. Proportions, hands, realistic humans, so many things aren’t so easy to draw. I constantly (and unfairly!) compare my own artwork to those who had years more experience than a newbie like me. I criticize myself, I judge myself so much that sometimes I consider dropping the hobby altogether. Shizuku is just like me in that sense. She rewrites the lyrics to Country Roads all the time as a hobby but she gets a lot of anxiety about it not being good enough. At some point she comes across Seiji, someone who she shares a lot in common with, they both have similar taste in books and they’re both passionate about something yet get anxiety and self-doubts over those things. They support each other, complimenting each other’s work and generally being nice. I don’t have a friend who supports me and I support like that, yet this was really heartwarming. 
I also shouldn’t neglect Seiji’s grandfather, who’s a relatively minor character but he gives one of the most important and personally touching speeches of the movie. I can’t easily find it online but the jist is, a geode looks really ugly and is practically a rock on the outside. But on the inside, you can find little emerald shards that are worth a lot of money. Sure, you might be compelled to just take out the crystal vein on the outside of the geode and sell that, but it’s only surface level and you can dig deeper and find better, more worthwhile emerald shards. An artist should never judge themselves purely based on surface level skill, nor use the surface level skill and treat it like it’s the best they can do. An artist should look inside themselves, find and see their potential and work on that.
TL;DR, this movie is excellent and I think you should watch it, especially if you’re an up and coming creator with a lot of self doubts. I only touched on the basic message, the movie has a great soundtrack (take me home, concrete roads) and beautiful animation despite being a lot more grounded in reality compared to other Ghibli films.
TL;DR TL;DR, WATCH THIS MOVIE I BEG YOU
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Small things I love in “Waiting on a Miracle ”
There’s gonna be a lot on this list also I’m doing it for all the other songs too!
How all of the family are posing! Everyone if them is doing something unique to them and I love it!
Luisa casually holding a bolder
Pepas rainbow!!!
The firefly’s behind them!
The toucans flying over them and Antonio gesturing to them!!
How a happy scene for them is genuinely heartbreaking for Mirabel
How they don’t remember her is just tragic and beautifully done!
Mirabel taking a deep breath before singing and looking on the verge of tears
How she starts off trying to tell herself to stop being sad
Acting like she dosent deserve to be sad over something so small and it’s so realistic!
The reflection in Mirabels glasses
How she keeps blinking her eyes like shes trying to stop herself from crying
“Hey I’m still apart of the family madrigal”
Her assuring herself that she’s apart of them is just gorgeously heartbreaking
Her saying over and and that’s shes fine until she just breaks and says “I’m not fine!”
Mirabel slightly opening her arms as she “talks to them”
Her being shadowed as she’s in front of the light and her family still being lit up
THE EXPRESSIONS
The look that she give Luisa as she looks up at her holding a bolder
How she slightly matched Isabelas pose and reaches out to her slightly but dosent
How she steps back and away from them with the water flowing in the background still covered in shadows as her family is lit up!
Mirabel grabbing onto her mums shoulders and slightly hugging her
The gentle hand she puts on Pepas shoulder as she looks at her
The way Mirabel looks back one last time before walking away going through the crowd to get out the door
Her being the only one in the room looking slightly sad, everyone else has bright smiles
The kids running in the stairs with sparklers
And Mirabel tracing her hand across them as she walks down the stairs
How Mirabels skirt moves slower than her like it’s also slowing down
How she’s basically begging for a chance to prove herself
The way abuela just blankly stares as Mirabel is swinging around her begging for a chance to prove herself
THE GODAMN LIGHTING
IYS BEAUTIFUL
the way the mountains erupt from the ground
The way flowers come out from under her dress like they did for Isabela earlier
How casita appears it’s just beautiful
THE WAY THE FAMILY IS LOOKING AT MIRABEL
Luisa is cheering with her arms in the air
How pepa is clutching her heart as she states lovingly
Julieta and Agustins faces matching how they look at the end of the Movie
Camilo, Dolores and Antonio all having their arms up and reaching for her lovingly
And all Mirabel wanting from abuela is just a warm smile
It’s heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time
Mirabel reaching out for Isabela but pulling away instantly
Her running up the stairs and the lighting immediately changing from warm colours to cool colours,
It’s breathtaking
The fireworks about to go off but just as she stamps her foot they start too
THE FIREWORKS GOING OFF ON BEAT
It’s beautiful
Honestly I think this song is the prettiest looking out the movie just before what else can I do
How Mirabels constantly clutching at her her shirt
THE FIREWORKS REFLECTING OFF MIRABELS GLASSES
The bright light of a firework and she’s back in the courtyard
But now it’s completely empty and she completely covered in shadows
The brokenness in Mirabels voice
MIRABELS FACE ITS JUSG GUTRENCHING
The little
“Am I too late for a miracle ”
I’m definitely doing all the other songs so I’ll add the links when I’m done them!
|| The family madrigal || Waiting on a miracle || surface pressure || we don’t talk about Bruno || what else can I do || dos orugitas || all of you ||
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greycaelum · 2 years
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Recently a stray cat keep coming to my house, and i feed him. Turns out he's a neighbour cat, so all this time he just ask for more food 🥲. Cats are cute but they're also chaotic, so i wonder if satoru turn into catoru what kind od chaos the little furry manace will do? By the way thankyou for feeding my happy hormone with your heartwarm story 💙🙆🏻‍♀️
That's so cute🥺 the kitty cat must trust you to keep approaching for food. It either likes your company or you feed it generously. Indeed they are a fluffball of chaos😂
Lemme add this for Chain Series coz this just seem something that can happen in that AU (≧▽≦)
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• "Here," Shoko deposited a large lump of white fluff in your arms. She brushed off the the furs sticking in her lab and downed her beer can.
• "What's the meaning of this? I distinctly remember mentioning I don't like pets." You grimace and ready to let go of the nasty thing.
• "That's Satoru by the way." Shoko shrug making you froze up and question her sanity.
• After Yaga-sensei explained to you what happened you can't help but sigh as you watch the white fluffy cat play enthusiastically with the teddy bear pile beside. What the heck was he doing to get this... Ugh, you shuddered at the thought of taking care a life that will have to rely on you to feed it, and scratch it's belly and mewl like a deranged fool at the middle of the night for midnight snacks—because that's just something Satoru would do. But it's not like you'd live to abandon Satoru.
• "Meow!" The cat hopped to your lap and started rubbing it's head on your chest. Purring and kneading his claws on your lap.
• "Stop that it hurts," you grimace and pulled him off your lap but the gremlin climb back and resumed rubbing it's head on your chest.
• No choices left, with Shoko declaring you can only wait it out. You left to go home with a cat in tow.
• Letting the furry thing loose when you entered the house, you watch his butt as he sauntered to the living, something Satoru always do when he gets home. You need to accept this and think rationally. That thing is still Satoru even if he has this whiskers and pinky cutie nose and beanie paws, and sweet purr and... "Fuck! What am I getting so carried about?!" You cursed and went to the kitchen. Maybe he'll eat tuna sandwich.
• "Mreowwww!" A loud crash of crystal shattering then followed.
• Running to the sound you saw Sato—Catoru walking on a wet surface with broken shards of the fish bowl on the floor, the gold fish barely breathing his gills out.
• "Megumi's gonna castrate you Satoru, that's his goldfish!" You suck a breath and scoop the dying thing and rush to the kitchen putting it in a pan and opened the faucet, hoping the flickering things isn't dead yet. When the water was high you set it on the sink and went back to the living where the perpetrator is calmly sitting on the sofa, innocently licking his paws while washing his face.
• "I don't know... But when Megumi gets his hands on you I swear I won't help you." You know how Megumi treasures that goldfish he got from the first carnival you all went together. "Meow!" Catoru blink up to you with guiltless blue eyes and hop down to rub on your legs.
• "Oh no you don't mister," you pick him up and brought him to an eye level... You watch him blink his beautiful blue eyes and lick his bright pink nose. "Meowww~"
• "You are so cute..." You mumbled while staring in his pretty eyes. "Meoooowww"
• After cat-proofing the living room you went up your bedroom to take a bath with all the sweating you did while moving things and making sure you put the goldfish away from where Catoru's paws could reach. The hot water of the shower soothe away your weariness and the shock of suddenly seeing Satoru turned to a feline. It's not so bad, you thought. After rinsing you went out of the shower.
• "Meow..."
• Your feet almost slipped on the wet surface when you saw the cat sitting on the toilet, eyeing you head to toe in your birth suit. "What the fuck?! How did you get in here?!" Grabbing the nearby towel you wrap yourself and glared at Catoru who just stared at you. You don't anymore if you're imagining things or what but he look smug as he hop down the toilet and with furry tail raised, cat walk out of the bathroom.
• "Oh..." Megumi look at the fluffy white cat sitting on the sofa after he put his backpack in the room. "What's that Megumi?" Tsumiki peek and instantly cheered at the sight of a beautiful cat.
• "Hello, are you Y/n-san's new pet?" Tsumiki greeted at Catoru who nonchalantly climb up the girl's lap and sit there facing her. "Meow~" Tsumiki giggled while Megumi stared intensely at the Cat, as if a light bulb hit him Megumi put his palms forward and without further ado called out. "Gyokuken!"
• "Meowwwwwww!" Catoru stood up Tsumiki's lap and hissed at Megumi's direction as if Megumi is a despicable peasant. "Oh, so your that guy huh? I thought so too," Megumi smirked happy with his prank despite failing to summon his divine dogs.
• A day later you woke up with something warm and heavy resting in your stomach, when you pull the covers off a mop of snow white hair greeted you and Satoru's deep slurry bedroom voice mumbled incoherently. Blinking up to you with sleepy bright blue eyes.
• "G'morning Sugarplum," he murmured, rubbing his face to your warm tummy and stretch out his long limbs, groaning and rubbing his stomach.
• "Get dressed!"
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Lol😹
General/Chain's Taglist: @ice-icebaby @aeanya
—Grey,
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moonmeg · 2 years
Text
Ok uhhhh
I've been thinking about how you could pull off a stage musical Encanto for weeks now and decided to make a list of my dumb ideas. Note that I am just a theater kid that enjoys and consumes musicals and while I would love to professionally work in the field of theater as of right now i am but a mere high school student with close to 0 knowledge of musical production stuff.
Some ideas and concepts have already been brought up by @dancevidaniya in one of their posts and you should totally give their blog a visit and the post (linked down below) a little love <3
But if anyone cares, here goes nothing:
Staging could be something like a mix between Broadway's Anastasia (the turning wallls) and Hamilton (a second floor with the doors)?
(This is just me trying to deal with Mirabel and Camilo not having any screen time let alone conversation so you can ignore this, it wouldn't be relevant to the story really) It could begin with baby Mira and baby Milo playing around before Mirabel's ceremony and Camilo lifting Mirabel, who is nervous up similar to how Mirabel has this talk with Antonio before his ceremony before Pepa finds them and takes them with her back to Casita
Julieta and Agustín being proud of little Mirabel who just changed into her ceremony dress before Abuela walks in
Abuela telling the story of the miracle to little Mirabel could be a short song - A Prologue if you want
Mirabel and Antonio's scene before the gift ceremony pls make it a cute little heartwarming song
The Julieta healing Mirabel's hand scene should absolutely be a song - motifs from that song could be heard before in the scene where Julieta and Agustín tell Mirabel that she doesn't have to prove anything to anyone or/and in the scene described in bullet point three
A Family Madrigal Reprise before Surface Pressure sung by the Ensemble going more into detail of everything the Madrigals do for and in the community?
Idk if it would make sense to throw a song in there or if it would even work as a song but Mirabel's mission of going into Bruno's tower, finding the vision and putting it - or rather a small part of it - back together could maybe work as a shorter song??
WDTAB could be the ending song of Act I - Act II starting with the dinner/Agustín seeing Mirabel with the vision
I also don't know how possible it is to pull this off as I am no costume designer but I think it'd be cool if Pepa's dress was able to change from yellow to white - like double sided y'know? Yellow on the outside and white on the inside. It would allow Félix or Pepa herself to open a hidden button or pull a chord or however one could fixate it and with a swirl on "We were getting ready (and there wasn't a cloud in the sky) boom- white dress.
The dinner scene could be a song that progressivly gets more and more chaotic (a song in the form of a madrigal?)
Bruno gets a solo - maybe a WDTAB Reprise kinda thing where he talks about his struggles and tells the story of his disappearance to Mirabel
The vision scene could be a song, combining Bruno and Mirabel in Antonios room singing about the vision, the family searching for Mirabel and the community getting anxious and wondering of what is happening to the encanto, ending with Mirabel's "Isabela?!"
Edit: For more dramatic effect Mirabel's lines could be changed up a little: "I will never be good enough for you, will I? None of us will ever be good enough for you no matter how hard we try. Luisa will never be strong enough. Isabela won't be perfect enough. Mamá won't heal (good) enough. Tía Pepa will never control the weather the way you want it. Dolores and Camilo's gifts will never be helpful enough to the community like the others. Bruno left because you only saw the worst in him [...]" or something along those lines. But that is minor imo
After Mirabel's disappearance from the ruins of Casita, the search for her could be a song also in a style of a madrigal- but more in the direction of Blackout (ITH)?
Two actors portraying young Alma and Pedro and their story in the middle of the stage during Dos Oruguitas as older Alma and Mirabel sit by the side of the stage, watching. Mirabel can also "interact" with the memory like in the movie - pls i will cry
All of You imo can gladly get some additional verses as it takes place over the course of months and could give more insight of the slow healing process of the family
I want Félix and Agustín to sing and appear more - give the bros a song idc
Not stage related but I think it would be so cool if the backstage dressing rooms had the actual design of the character's door for the actor/actress portraying them on the door. Not asking for legitimate wood doors with carvings but like printed out and fixated on the doors.
The one's on the stage can be out of wood tho ig and get the glowing effect with ✨lights✨ behind them (obviously) (fire proof of course)
Also not stage related but I also think it would be cool if the area before the theater hall would 1) have a Colombian "ambiente" (plants, architecture, furniture, food and drinks etc.) like you enter it and feel like you just traveled to Colombia and 2) have a cast photo replicating one of the following
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These are just dumb 3am ideas really idk
There's probably so much more you can do lol but I'm not a professional director or writer let alone stage designer and uh yeah
I intend no harm with this post or am trying to say my ideas are great or the best - I myself don't think they are and have doubts if some of this is even doable
This is just for fun lol but feel free to add or change something up 🧎‍♀️
dancevidaniya's post:
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zevlors-tail · 3 years
Text
S/O Has A Self Harm Relapse - Deku
Original ask here.
A/N: Sorry this took so long! My dms are always open, and I’m always here to talk to if anyone needs it! I also hope this is relatable, because I know SH can be very personal and everyone has their own reasons. Remember that your progress is valid even when slip ups happen, and that you are loved, always, no matter what. 
TW: Self harm relapse, general negative thoughts and emotions, implied cutting, I didn’t go into detail but it’s still descriptive so PLEASE MIND THE WARNINGS.
Izuku Midoriya/Deku:
“I just don’t know what to do, you know? Things are really tough right now, and I feel like you’re the only one taking the time to understand where I’m coming from. I don’t know who else to turn to...” The hurt in your friend’s voice was evident, causing your eyes to crinkle in worry as you gave them a small concerned smile.
“Everything’s going to be okay. I know it doesn’t feel like that right now, but it will be eventually. You just have to trust me.” Your voice held such a confident tone to it, a promise of better times to come in the near future. You sounded like you were sure of it, as if you knew without a shadow of a doubt that things would be okay- and maybe you did. You truly believed it, genuinely felt that your friend would be okay and that things would work out after all.
“You really think so?”
“I know so,” you responded with conviction.
Just this morning, one of your best friends had texted to ask if you could meet up with them later on in the day to talk about something important. Of course, you being the helpful and loyal friend you were, you immediately agreed and set up a time to see them. It had turned out that they were going through some sort of crisis, something that on the surface didn’t seem to be troubling them, but as they went on about their issue, you saw the way it weighed on their shoulders, saw the way it made them doubt themselves.
You knew how it felt to feel like the world was caving in, like there was no hope left for you. Maybe that was the reason you were always so quick to help others; you couldn’t stand the thought of the people you cared for feeling the same way. No matter what they needed and no matter when they needed it, you were there. One of your friends got into a fight with their parents? You were there. One of them was having troubles with their partner? You were there. If someone else just needed to vent about their shitty day, you were there; you always were. You could never turn them away even if you felt overwhelmed at your own expense. And it was frustrating, too, because no matter how many times you came to their rescue, no one seemed to want to be there for you. Well...almost no one.
There was one person, the light of your life, Izuku Midoriya. He checked in with you often, would remind you to take breaks for yourself (even if you often ignored his requests to do so, much to his dismay), and kept you going when you felt you couldn’t go on any longer. And you were going through so much; between school, work, and home life, you felt completely overwhelmed. Lately, it seemed like your grip on things just seemed to be...slipping. It was getting harder to focus between the sheer amount of anxiety you felt over everything, harder to breathe easy and relax. You supposed it didn’t help that Izuku had been away for a few days for some intense type of training, either. 
Maybe that was the cherry on top, or maybe it was just inevitable, but somehow you found yourself feeling lower than dirt as you sent your friend off with a tight hug, their form fading in the distance as you watched them leave with a deep frown. You understood they had things going on, and of course you didn’t expect them to notice you felt a little off, but you wished that maybe they had just asked if you were alright, too. Even a passing, “I hope you’re doing okay,” would have been nice; something, at least, to let you know the feelings were reciprocated on their end as well. Something to let you know they cared. But they weren’t, and they didn’t, and you sighed heavily as you let your facade shatter around you.
You felt selfish for wishing your friend would care when they were clearly preoccupied with other things. But in the same sense, you couldn’t remember the last time someone asked if you were okay. Things were getting bad again, all of your friends and family needed you and were demanding your attention constantly, and now your boyfriend was away for a few days as well. Between the stacking missed calls and texts you needed to respond to and the sheer amount other’s problems added to yours, it felt like too much. Even the noise of the car radio on the drive home was irritating and overwhelming, and no matter what station you picked, the music and occasional static noise bothered you until you finally had to turn it off completely. But driving in silence proved to be a problem as well, and now you were stuck with the intrusive thoughts in your mind and your heartbeat rushing in your ears. 
The silence of your empty home was deafening. Izuku, who would usually be lounging on the couch with his favorite All Might blanket watching a movie by now if he was home, was nowhere to be found. The lights on the dishwasher blinked at you from the darkness of the kitchen signaling an empty rack. There were no dishes to clean, no clothes to wash or dry, and the TV screen remained darkened and still; there was nothing to distract your mind from the chaos inside of it. And although you were surrounded by quiet, it was by no means peaceful. You felt on edge, overwhelmed, and alone. It was all too much too fast, and you knew of only one solution to quiet the thoughts in your head, even if it was only a temporary fix.
Right now, in this moment, you just needed everything to stop. You needed a distraction, a different source of pain to redirect your focus. Still, you hated yourself with every step you took until you came to stand in front of the bathroom sink, the familiar cabinet doors leering at you more maliciously than usual. 
You knew what lied behind those doors in the far left corner on the bottom shelf.
***
It was two more days before Izuku returned home, the telltale sign of jingling keys ringing through the air as he opened the front door and slipped inside. He tossed his keys to the table and kicked off his shoes. You heard him lock the door behind himself, footsteps heavy on the carpeted floor as he dropped his bags in the living room and took a moment to relax and settle in. In a way, you were grateful he didn't immediately come to see you; you were curled up in bed, anxious and ashamed about what you had been doing while he was gone. He wouldn’t look at you the same way again after this, you were sure of it.
You listened as Izuku trekked to the bathroom across the hall, and if you payed enough attention with your half lidded eyes, you could make out his darkened blurry form passing by the open bedroom door. He shut the bathroom door behind him before he turned on the lights (he was always courteous of you and your need to sleep in the dark), his electric toothbrush vibrating to life. You stayed put in bed and listened to the sound of it while pretending to be asleep. But as soon as it hard started it was just as abruptly stopping, and for reasons you couldn’t place, anxiety bubbled up in your chest as you listened to Izuku go eerily silent for at least a good minute. The light from under the bathroom door shifted as he finally moved, his clothing creating a soft rustling noise while he put his toothbrush back on the counter with a quiet clack.
Sensing that the bathroom door was about to open once more, you turned away from the entryway and faced the wall. You didn’t want him to know you were awake; all you wanted was for him to crawl into bed with you and wrap his arms around you like nothing at all had ever happened, like it was any other normal evening. But as luck would have it, that wasn’t what happened.
Izuku switched the lights off and exited the bathroom, making the short trip to the bed with ease before he stood still at the foot of it for a moment. There was a soft whisper of something, your name maybe? You were too nervous to tell.
“Y/N...?”
Something in his tone caused your heart to race with worry. He was testing you, seeing if you were awake...but for what? He usually knew better than to wake you when he came home any time past midnight, even if it was after a few days of intensive training. If he was trying to get your attention now, then it must be something important. Still, you remained “asleep”, a sinking feeling in your gut and a terrifying thought at the back of your brain. There was no way he knew...right? 
When you gave no indication that you heard him, he carefully crawled onto the bed and lie down behind you, arms encasing you protectively and lovingly while he buried his nose into your neck. “Y/N,” he said again, his voice raising a bit. You involuntarily tensed at the sound, and you shriveled in horror as Izuku propped himself up on one elbow behind you while he used his other arm to shake you gently. There was no way you were getting out of this now; he knew you were awake by your movements. if you weren’t apprehensive before, then you surely were now.
“Izu?” you murmured in your best sleepy voice you could muster.
“Hi, love.” There was something in his normally heartwarming smile, something more complicated than usual behind the forest green of his irises as he looked you over. “I’m home.” The crack in his voice took you by surprise, and you saw tears beginning to form on his long lashes.
“Izu, what’s wrong?” You immediately reached out to him, your insecurities and worries all but forgotten about in the moment. “Did something happen while you were away?”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that...” 
He welcomed your touch, grasping your smaller hand in one of his much larger ones as you cupped his cheek. He gave you a small smile before leaning into your hand, and no other words were spoken as the two of you sat together in silence for a moment, Izuku trying to calm his ragged breathing while you stared up at him in concern. Finally, he seemed to find his resolve as he sighed heavily and sniffed, eyes fluttering open just to focus solely on you. Izuku shifted so that he was lying back down, one arm draped over your side as you faced him, both of your bodies comfortably resting against one another while you held his gaze.
“Hey, babe?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to answer as honestly as you can, okay?”
Immediately your heart thundered to life in your chest. You tried to reassure yourself that you were just overthinking things, that there was no logical way he could know about what you’d done while he was away. Was there...?
“Okay.” You hoped your voice didn’t seem as shaky as you felt. 
“Are you bottling things up again?” He was so gentle. The tone in which he asked you had been soft, his eyes glossy, his touch tender as he ran a careful hand over your shoulder and down your back to rub small circles against it.
“What do you mean?” 
Maybe if you acted ignorant, he wouldn’t try to press you any further. But then, this was Izuku, wasn’t it? Who we’re you trying to kid?
“You didn’t seem like yourself when I called you last night. And your friend said you seemed a little off the other day during your visit. I’m just worried about you. Is there anything you want to talk about?”
Sure, there were lots of things you wanted to say, but you didn’t have the courage to say any of them out loud. So instead of confiding in Izuku, you chose to pull away emotionally. Luckily for you, however, this did not manage to go unnoticed by your boyfriend.
“No...I’m fine. Promise.”
“Oh, honey...” The amount of care and concern he held for you in his words made you feel vulnerable. Izuku pulled you into the tightest hug you’d ever felt in your life, his strong arms wrapping around you in a comforting way while he continued. “You don’t have to pretend that everything is okay. I know it’s not.”
Shameful tears dripped sorely from your cheeks as his words started to sink in. After so long of keeping all your feelings to yourself, they finally spilled over and flowed out of you in the form of teardrops that soaked the pillow underneath you. Your walls crumbled and caved, and you clung to Izuku for dear life as you let everything out in the safety of his hold. 
“I’m sorry!” you whispered harshly against his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-!” For what, you weren’t sure- you just felt the need to apologize. Maybe for relapsing, maybe for crying- or maybe for both.
Izuku hushed you and let you soak his dirtied shirt for as long as you needed. When your sniffles had become less frequent and your hiccups much quieter, he brought his hands to your face, cupping it gently and looking you in the eyes. “Y/N. I love you, and nothing you do or say could change that. Alright?” You nodded in understanding. “I know you’re not okay. I don’t think you realized, but when I went into the bathroom, you...” He struggled to finish his sentence, tears welling up in his eyes again. “You left it out.”
Shit.
Fuzzy memories from earlier played back in your mind as you realized you’d forgotten to put something away that Izuku wasn’t supposed to see. You’d been too busy cleaning the bathroom to remember that you left it sitting on the ledge of the medicine cabinet, right next to the bandages and antiseptic. No wonder he’d stopped brushing his teeth so fast; he must have seen it and put two and two together fairly quickly after that. So then...he knew after all.
“I’m sorry!”
You wanted to say so much more than that. You wanted to tell him you were afraid- afraid that he would leave you, that he would hate you, that he would judge you even though you knew he was the most loving and caring person you could ever ask for. You wanted to tell him you regretted it, that you hated yourself for it, that you wished you could take it back. Of all the things to leave your mouth, those words seemed stuck on repeat. But luckily for you, Izuku always seemed to know how to read you and your words. 
Izuku let go of your face before wrapping you in his arms once more, your head tucked under his chin. “Love, it’s okay. Everything’s alright. I’m not angry, though I am upset that you’re hurting.”
“It was stupid, and I’m sorry, and I wish I never-”
Izuku cut you off. “Oh, Y/N, no. It’s not stupid. You’re in pain, it’s your way of trying to cope. It’s not healthy, and it’s not good, but it’s how you’re trying to survive. And that’s not stupid, Y/N, it’s human. And to be human is to make mistakes.” He gave you a moment to process before carrying on. “Slip ups happen. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, or that your progress is all gone, or even that you’re weak. It’s a normal thing. Recovery isn’t linear.”
“What does that mean?” you asked between sobs.
“It means it’s not a straight line, baby. You can’t just quit something cold turkey like that and expect things to go so smooth. It’s great if it does, but...the reality of it is that everyone is different, and while you’ve made a lot of progress already, there will always be ups and downs. And just because you had a relapse doesn’t mean that everything you’ve done before this doesn’t matter anymore. It just means things aren’t so good right now. But we can make them better, together. Okay?”
“Okay...” you mumbled.
“I love you. I’m proud of you for getting this far. We can make it through this, and I’ll be here every step of the way. I’ll do my part and start checking in with you more often, okay?”
You pressed your face into the dry spot of his shirt and clutched at it with both hands. Izuku was your rock, and he wasn’t going anywhere. He was willing to go through this with you and help support you, and that meant the world to you in a place where you felt alone and not worth the time of day.
“I-Izuku?” you hiccuped.
“I’m here,” came his calm reply.
“Don’t leave me, please...”
“Oh, Y/N, I would never. I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m here.” 
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