#i swear this was just going to be incorrect quotes in the beginning | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daisies-daydreams · 11 months

Note

Hi! Can I request of TF141 x Fem! Reader who is cold hearted when going in war but she kind snd smile when helping the civilians and children. Like the tf141 never see Y/n smile after joining the military. And when they see her smile the first time, they felt heart warm and almost cry see Y/n smile as an angel.

Take all the time you want. No need to rush.

Pairing: TF141 x Fem!Reader (Platonic)

Category: Fluff & Angst

Warnings: Suggestive Comments, Blood, Injuries, Swearing, Depictions of Child Labor

Word Count: 1.6k+

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for your request! (I love your incorrect COD quotes btw, they’re so much fun to read! ☺️).

“Bliz”

That’s what you were known as when you were in the SAS. It was short for “Blizzard”, and that you were. Your taciturn and cold demeanor made other soldiers weary of your presence.

“We call her Blizzard cause ‘Ice Queen’ was just too damn long,” you remember on of your fellow soldiers remarking when he thought you couldn’t hear him. Hopefully, you wouldn’t have to deal with such idiocy now that you’ve been recruited into Task Force 141. When you walked into Captain John Price’s office and he congratulated you on being selected, he seemed a bit put off by your stern attitude.

“Thank you for this opportunity, Captain Price,” you replied, your lips in a straight line. The Captain gave you a small smile.

“We’re on the same team now. Just call me Price,” he said. You stood in place and straighter your shoulders.

“I prefer to call my fellow soldiers and superiors by their rank,” you explained with a flat tone.

Your introduction to the rest of 141 went about the same way.

“Hey there! Name’s Soap. Nice to have a new face on the team!” Soap beamed with an outstretched hand. You eyed him up and down, mouth curved in a frown.

“Thanks,” you muttered as you shifted in place. Soap’s hand twitched slightly as he lowered it to his side. He watched you introduce yourself to Ghost and Gaz before you brushed past them.

“Come on. We have a meeting in five,” you stated. The three men watched you walk towards Price’s office for the newest mission’s pre-briefing. Soap clicked his tongue before walking in the same direction with Ghost and Gaz, your frame already out of sight.

“I thought ‘Blizzard’ was just an exaggeration,” Soap muttered.

“She’s SAS-you know the shite she’s probably seen,” Ghost said. Soap sighed, his shoulders slumping.

“Not every girl’s gonna want to get into your pants, Johnny,” Gaz retorted. Soap scoffed.

“That’s not-“ Ghost and Gaz gave him a knowing, sideways glance. Soap huffed through his nose. “Ah, what do you know? Probably haven’t even held hands with a lass,” Soap waved. Gaz’s nostrils flared but he kept walking. The men rounded the corner and stepped into the office. You were standing at the other side of the room, your arms crossed and brows slightly furrowed. Soap could’ve sworn that he saw you narrow your eyes at him.

“Right. Let’s begin,” Price said. A thick layer of unease settled over the room during the prebriefing. Soap would glance over at you every once in a while. You were like a statue, your eyes glued to the Captain as he explained the ins and outs of the mission.

“Your objective is to infiltrate a weapons manufacturing plant in the town of Nahr. It belongs to one of Al-Qatala’s allies: the Riah Sharquia,” Price explained.

“The Eastern Wind?” you asked.

“Never heard of them,” Ghost added. Price nodded.

“They’ve been operating underground for the past ten years. Just announced themselves publicly about a few weeks ago,” he stated. You nodded, gaze intensely set on the Captain.

“Anyway, back to what I was saying. You are to capture the head of the western plant, Adil Malik, and interrogate him,” he continued. “Best to keep your wits about you: These bastards have the region in an iron grip. They’ve been taking local people and forcing them to assemble their weapons…mostly children,” he continued. Your face twisted into a deep scowl, hands clenched into tight fists. It didn’t go unnoticed by Soap.

“Wheels up at seventeen-hundred tonight,” Price said with a nod. Time flew by quickly and before he knew it, Soap was sitting next to you on the flight. You were sandwiched between him and Ghost, the two imposing men towering over you even as you sat down. Gaz sat nearby along with some other soldiers crowded in the bay. Soap leaned over with a cheeky grin.

“Hey, Bliz,” he smiled. You kept your gaze forward, lips sealed tightly. “What smells like red paint but is blue?” Soap snickered. Ghost rolled his eyes, as if he were one to talk about bad jokes.

“Blue paint,” you replied shortly with a straight face. Soap twisted his lips.

“Yeah that’s…that’s right,” he muttered awkwardly. Some soldiers across from you whispered, only to cease when they realized your icy gaze was locked on them. Soap sighed and leaned back as much as he could.

It was going to be a very long flight.

+++

You pushed through the rickety door, splinters flying across the room.

“BLIZ! YOU BETTER GET YOUR ARSE BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!” Ghost barked. You gasped at the sight before you: a group of children huddled together in the corner of the filthy sweatshop. You heard the lieutenant rush up behind you. His eyes widened when he saw the group of gaunt faces.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he seethed while clenching his fists. You stepped forward and pulled your black mask down, revealing a gentle look on your face. A small lump formed in the lieutenant’s throat as he watched you kneel down on one knee.

“It’s okay. We aren’t going to hurt you,” you cooed softly as you slowly held out your hand. A young boy shuffled forward, hesitantly slipping his hand into yours. You helped him up, causing the other children to mutter to each other.

“GHOST! BLIZ! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!” Gaz suddenly shouted over the coms. “THEY FUCKING RIGGED THE PLACE TO BLOW!” Both of you exchanged glances before looking back at the kids.

“Aitabieni,” you said calmly. Some children anxiously huddled near your side as you rushed them forward. Ghost surveyed the area before motioning to move.

“Soap, are the exits clear?” Ghost asked.

“Aye,” the Scotsman replied.

A sense of relief washed over you as you saw sunlight pour through a crack in the exit door. A sudden shriek pierced through the hallway, causing you to stop in your tracks. The other children ran past you as you whipped your head around. A young girl was crying as she held her bleeding foot, a shard of glass with crimson on it lying nearby.

“BLIZ! DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING STOP!” Ghost bellowed. You sprinted down the hallway, grabbing the child and scooping her into your arms as you rushed outside. Just as you reached the gate, you heard a rancorous crack behind you.

“(Y/N)!” Ghost shouted. You curled yourself over the small one, keeping your arms wrapped around their head. The shockwaves sent you tumbling forward. Rubble flew past you as you did your best to shield her from the blast. You held onto the child tightly as the ringing in your ears continued to bombard you. The smoke and embers were searing hot as they cascaded from what remained of the building. You coughed when the dust finally began to settle.

You looked down in your arms, relieved to see that the child was still breathing. The young girl had her face nuzzled into your chest, hands white-knuckling your shirt as she sobbed. You heard Ghost's muffled shouting as he ran towards you, helping you while Soap took the little girl. You tried to stand, only to fall on the ground. The world was spinning as Ghost picked you up in his arms.

“Make sure they’re safe,” you smiled weakly before your vision suddenly went black.

+++

You gasped as you shot upwards on a hard surface. You groaned as a throbbing pain shot through your skull. A dark haired man stood near you, his lips curving into a smile when he locked eyes with you.

“She’s awake!” he sang, his voice slightly muffled. You grunted as you tried to sit up, only to fall back down on the scratchy mat.

“Easy there, Bliz,” Soap said as he came to kneel by your side. You blinked a few times, your vision becoming less blurred.

“Where…what?” your voice croaked. Ghost and Gaz stood in the corner, their attention quickly shifting from their conversation over to you. All of you were in a small room, a lamp dimly lighting up the space. You trailed your fingers over your head, feeling at the blood-soaked bandages.

“You took quite the spill out there,” Soap said. He tilted his head towards the man who was preoccupied with preparing some medicine. “Doctor Kaan said he wasn’t too keen to taking in outsiders-but since you saved his wee lass, he made an exception,” the soldier beamed. A small face suddenly appeared behind the unknown man. Your eyes widened when you realized it was the young girl you had rescued from the hallway. She smiled sheepishly as the man turned and patted her head. He swiveled back to look at you, a wide smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

“Thanks to you, my little Emel has come back to me,” he choked. The girl tugged on his shirt. He chuckled as he brought her into his arms, kissing her forehead gently. The doctor stepped closer, holding your hand and shaking it. “Thank you, thank you,” he sobbed repeatedly. Your cheeks tinted with pink as the corners of your mouth finally curved into a complete smile. Soap felt his heart flutter as he stared at your soft, angelic face. Even the corners of Ghost’s eyes crinkled, and Gaz couldn’t help but crack a small grin. Your face truly shined like the sun when you smiled.

“Anything for the little ones,” you beamed.

+++

Epilogue

Soap watched you with a bright smile as you kicked the football back to a group of kids. They giggled and went on with their game. The empty streets before were starting to bustle back to life. Ghost and Gaz were…busy at the moment. Soap strode over to where you were seated. Your peaceful expression shifted into a slight frown.

“What is it, Sergeant MacTavish?” you asked bluntly. His shoulders bounced as he slid next to you.

“You know you can just call me Soap, right?” he nudged your arm. You rolled your eyes, only to flinch when the ball came flying towards you. Soap reached his hands out, catching it just inches from your face. You blinked as he chuckled and threw it back to the kids.

“How’d you do that?” you asked. He looked at you with a glint in his eye.

“I might have a tad bit of practice,” Soap hummed. You gave him an unreadable expression before turning back to the game.

“Thank you…Soap,” you murmured while looking forward. He grinned.

“Anytime, bonnie”.

————

Thank you for reading! ❤️

@silverwolf-108

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nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius · 4 months

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TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 19

Wrecker: *lifting weights* Omega: Wow… He's so intense! Omega: I wonder what drives him. Wrecker, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

Crosshair: What have I done wrong?! Echo: Everything. For your entire life.

Omega: Guys! I found a 100 dollar bill! Omega: *looks around* ….Should I keep it? Echo: Omega, just do the right thing. Crosshair: And put in your bag. Echo: No—

Crosshair: I prevented a murder today. Omega: Really? That’s amazing! How did you do that? Crosshair: Self-control.

Mayday: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying. Crosshair: And? Mayday: And you are.

Hunter: When I die I want Crosshair to lower me into my grave so he can let me down one last time.

Wrecker: I was just diagnosed with deez. Echo: Good, I hope it’s lethal.

Echo: Compliment me. Crosshair: You have eyes. Echo: Yeah, that works.

Echo: Don’t say a word. Wrecker: Fergalicious. Echo: Wrecker, I said no words. Wrecker: Oh, I see how it works. Two weeks ago, we’re playing Scrabble, it’s not a word, now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you.

Hunter: What do we say when life disappoints us? Crosshair: Called it! Hunter: No.

Crosshair: What is wrong with you? Hunter: Many, many things... Hunter: And most of them are your fucking fault.

Tech: Hunter? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry? Hunter: Tech, I swear to god—

Omega: I don’t want to talk about it. Crosshair: Good, I don’t wanna hear about it.

Tech: I have a plan. Hunter: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it. Tech: … Hunter: … Tech: I no longer have a plan.

Omega: What’s your biggest fear? Mayday: I am incredibly arachnophobic. Omega, under her breath: You don’t want spiders to get married?

Mayday: Is… Is that meant to be on fire? Tech: No… not really. Mayday: Are you going to do something about it? Tech: Hm… nah.

Echo: What kinds of sounds annoy you? Hunter: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones? Echo, now interested: Lets say imaginary. Hunter: Spiders wearing flip flops.

Mayday, looking at the squad: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

Tech: Might I make a suggestion you possibly won’t like? Hunter: Do you make any other kind?

Crosshair: In alcohol’s defense, I’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.

Jesse: I hate you! Crosshair: Wow! So much in common already!

Crosshair: Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no.

Tech, talking to Tarkin: With all due respect, which is none…

Tech: I have an idea. Echo: I have the hospital and Rex on speed dial.

Tech: Tech, I think we have a problem. Wrecker: What, the fire? Tech: No, the- wait, what fire? Wrecker: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

Crosshair: I was arrested for being too cool. Mayday: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Wrecker: Do you even, cuddle, bro? Do you even lift, bro… each other up with kindness? Do you tell your loved ones that you care about them regardless of who is listening? DO YOU EVER RESOLVE CONFLICTS, EMOTIONAL ISSUES THROUGH COMPROMISE AND COMPASSION RATHER THAN ANGER AND DENIAL?!

Tech: Did you just refer to a knife as a “people-opener”? Crosshair: Crosshair: …Should I not have?

Tech: I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Hunter: Okay? Tech: … Tech: … Tech: Actually it’s gonna bug me if I don’t, so—

Mayday: You know what your problem is? Crosshair: I only have one?

Wrecker: If this plan goes down the drain, where should we regroup? Tech: The afterlife, I guess.

Wrecker: You look really stressed. Hunter: Haha, it’s the stress.

Crosshair: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.

Wrecker: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”. Crosshair: *looks over at Tech and Phee* Crosshair: Is it “sexual tension”?

Hunter: I have a question. Wrecker: Shoot. Hunter: Is the S or C in scent silent? Echo: Fuck you, I’m going to be thinking about this all day. Wrecker: Okay well, cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’m gonna say the S is silent. Hunter: Okay, but sent is also spelled the same way. Echo: The holonet says that the C was added in the late seventeenth century, so I guess the S is silent. Crosshair: Plot twist, both the S and the C are silent and the E actually makes the sss sound. Echo: Crosshair is not allowed to talk anymore.

Hunter: Let’s not Crosshair this into a worse situation than it already is. Crosshair: Did you just use my name as a verb?

Omega: Hey, do you know anyone who can teach me to play the trumpet? Tech: Why? Omega: I want to wander around playing it to annoy Crosshair. Tech: Technically, you don’t actually need to know how to play the trumpet well for that. Omega: Tech you have opened my eyes.

Hunter: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

Crosshair: I’m never donating blood ever again. Crosshair: The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another! Crosshair: ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean, do you want it or not?

Wrecker: Are you alright? Crosshair: Short answer or long answer? Wrecker: Short? Crosshair: No. Wrecker: Long? Crosshair: Nooooooo.

#star wars #incorrect quotes #incorrect bad batch quotes #tbb incorrect quotes #the bad batch #tbb #featuring mayday because why not #and jesse because nobody else quite fit as well

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lowkeyrobin · 1 month

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Mcyts x autistic reader

•Like autistic reader, who is very open and proud about being autistic. And like openly stems, especially when happy. Hand flaping, finger wiggling, spinning, vocal stims, full body shaking ext

• reader is really bad with volume control and often either mumbles or yells. Maybe when talking about something they're interested in, they just scream mid sentence and then carry on.

• read unknowingly mimicking there s/o while masking like copying their accents, laughs, boy language or just repeat whatever they just said.

• reader info dumps and asks allot of questions (even if that seem obvious)

• reader will randomly just stop masking and give like resting bitch face and speak with more monotone voice.

•and reader quotes things a lot like shows, movies, tiktoks, and people.

oooo okay okay!! I did my best here I swear 🙏 I only did Tommy, Freddie, Quackity & Nihachu bc I genuinley had no new ideas for the others so I apologize 😭🙏 ranboo and tubbo would've been mixtures of everyone and I'm trying to make them all different and it just didn't work ; also this took way too long and maybe ill do a pt2 of this w them + foolish & charlie and whoever else ; anyways hopefully this is good, I did a little bit of research just in case so yeah djsjskkaka

MCYT ; autistic reader

includes ; tommyinnit, badlinu, quackity, & nihachu

warnings ; language

disclaimers ; i'm not autistic so i referred to req above + some research, i apologize if anything is incorrect

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he's never had a problem with you being autistic and neither have you, and you're totally fine with him making little jokes or comments because you can most of the time see therough them

he finds your stimming, especially when you're happy and excited, so fucking adorable. he literally crumbles everytime.

he also loves when you have him stim with you

you two have this little finger wiggling thing you do together, reference the "dunga dunga dunga" moment in the amsterdam vlog because I can't describe it 💀

if you're spinning to stim, he'll often joke about you getting dizzy or needing to throw up, and halfway join you because you're spinning to create a damn tornado, he can't go that fast LMAO

if somewhere is too loud and you need out, you're going dw, he couldn't care less if you just automatically yell, go nonverbal, or only begin mumbling to him. he's got you

absolutely loves when you're ranting about special interests or hyperfixations

he'll genuinley listen all day long

"and it's so interesting *cue yell* because-"

he'll lightly cringe at the change in volume but don't worry, he's fine. if you ever think differently he'll 100% reassure you that he's alright and he doesn't mind it whatsoever

you'll unknowingly pick up his accent and he'll notice immediately but not point it out, because he's learned that you'll go back to normal after he points it out. he finds it so cute tho

if you're masking in public and get comfy enough, you'll have this miserable looking bitch face and he's just like "Oh they're just like that, don't worry"

you also pick up saying bitch a lot, which he finds hilarious

doesn't understand tone tags a hundred percent but he uses the ones he knows and learns a lot of the other ones as your relationship grows

youre probably quoting total drama and mean girls 24/7 let's be honest

"you're just a homeschooled jungle freak!"

"christ, okay, y/n"

"you know I was quoting mean girls"

whatever phrase he's addicted to saying, you are too

"DARLINGGGGG GUESS WHOS BACK FROM THE PSYCH WARD"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

FREDDIE BADLINU

always smiles seeing you stim when you're happy/excited

vocal stims with him >>>

9 times out of 10 he'll repeat them after you say them to kind of make it a game, to see who can say ___ the most

you copy his accent and his frequently used phrases a lot

it makes him get all mushy inside because you're literally thinking about him 24/7

info dumping to him >>>> he's always listening bro

he doesn't mind you asking a lot of questions, even if the answer seems obvious. he understands that you don't wanna screw something up or understand something wrong

lots of quoting Garfield. I don't make the rules

"WE'RE BACHELORS, BABY" ; you both quote this often, let's be honest

"whoever moved my shit around should be dragged out onto the street and shot"

"i really hope you're quoting Garfield this time.."

your resting bitch face genuinely makes him giggle, ESPECIALLY the monotone voice

you're also constantly quoting bits from Tommy's show 💀 or replicating the little dance they learned to introduce Freddie

he apologizes a million times, he just can't take you seriously sometimes (if it's a more lighthearted situation)

he seems like the type to know most the tone tags and knows when to use them, but the ones like /nf trip him up

like wdym nf??? like the rapper?? like the guy from those gacha music videos? what's he doing here?

when you randomly yell when you're talking about a special interest/hyperfixation, he raises his eyebrows with an amused smile and nod

"and *cue yell* it's so fucked up but so good!"

"yeah?"

NIKI NIHACHU

she's picked up some stimming from you

you guys finger wiggle little whiskers, like ants or some sort of bug

spinning when you're exited >>>

she cheers you on to try and get you to go faster LMAO

bad with volume control? that's totally fine. she completely understands

giggles whenever you get loud mid-sentence and playfully throws her hands up like you scared her

"Peter... the horse is here"

"is it now?" she giggles

always quoting tik toks and vines istg

ALEX QUACKITY

"road work ahead? yeah, I sure hope it does"

"THIS IS THE BEST DAMN CHICKEN I HAVE EVER HAD"

"oooo I love that scarlet color" she smiles

"I love that scarlet color" you whisper

she loves when you info dump about your special interests/hyperfixations, especially if it's something she's not really into but will gladly hear you talk about because it's interesting

she's also very on it with tone tags just in case, whether you tell her you need them or not

"I'll kill you wtf"

"/J /J SORRY"

she knows every single tone tag, if there was a tone tag test, she'd ace it

the monotone voice and bitch face always scare her for a moment, she's gotta make sure if you're okay and just not masking or if you're actually upset about something

she always gets you gifts surrounding your special interests/current fixations

bro if you're a fanfic writer... she's ur number one reader. absolutely lovessss your writing

you'll pick up her soft tone of voice and the accent and she will do anything but point it out, she loves knowing that she's the one paying attention to it, and seeing you just catch onto something and for you to not notice

need compression for comfort? he's there, any squeezing or form of compression you need is there

need to squeeze his hand? go ahead. need a tight ass hug? he's there

always does a proud smile when he sees you stim, especially in public

generally proud that you aren't masking in public and you're comfortable being yourself

he'll even stim with you sometimes to make you not feel weird about stimming in public and shit 💔

you catch onto his mannerisms a lot, like adjusting your hair, any hats/beanies, talking with your hands, etc

like you'll catch yourself going to adjust your sunglasses and you don't have any on. you realize "wait I've been watching him do it all night, have I been doing that??"

so much info dumping and he's here for it

"wait, what then?"

"she *cue louder talk/almost yell* fucking dies! it was either die or suffer!"

"holy shit, for real?"

you guys are both quoting dumb shit let's be honest

modern family quotes.... you can't go an hour without them

always mumbling "gotta fix that step" it's a vocal stim atp

there's not even a step to fix.

"THERE IS NO DONE IN DUNPHY!!"

"YEAH BEAT HIS ASS Y/N YOURE THE BEST PVPER EVER"

y/u/n was slain by Tubbo

"oh"

"I'm the cool dad, that's my thang, I'm hip"

"y/n I can't do this today" He cackles

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #mcyt x gn reader #tommyinnit x reader #badlinu x reader #freddie badlinu x reader #quackity x reader #alex quackity x reader #quackityhq x reader #niki nihachu x reader #nihachu x reader

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fanficsforheartandsoul · 1 year

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Maniac | König x M!Reader | Part II

Note: Just to clarify, my boii isn’t wearing his helmet in this story, just his good ol’ rag of a shirt on his mighty head. One of my most popular incorrect call of duty quotes makes an appearance here lmao.

Fandom: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)

Warnings: Swearing, Fighting, Knives, Mentions of Homophobia, Unrealistic depiction of KorTac, the Military in general and uhh hand to hand combat?, Injuries, Angst, Slight NSFW, Slight OOC, Reader got a blood kink oopsie, König as well?? Unrealistic portrayal of lots of things

Summary: König’s relationship with KorTac’s local psychopath is something he himself doesn’t really understand. But when an incident happens and a picture of the two is circling around the army base they’re currently staying at, they finally address what is going on between them...

Word Count: 5,18k

Taglist: -

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

Part I

He doesn’t see Atom for a few days.

Which is strange, considering that he saw him from afar almost every day in the past but now he’s nowhere to be seen. He can’t feel his presence at all and the attacks aren’t coming. It’s a different kind of unsettling.

Instead, he can sense that something is off with the base in general. After walking out of PT with Horangi and Klaus, they pass a few marines who look at him and then start to whisper.

The other two operators don’t notice it but König does immediately, the anxiety of years of harassment in his youth stirring awake.

At first, it’s subtle. But then after two days, it becomes obvious that the marines are really talking about him, and even his friends realize.

“What the hell’s going on?” Zeus asks eventually when they’re all sitting in the mess hall, eating some sad excuse of what they call fried chicken. He points at König with his fork while chewing.

“They’re talking about you, right? Why?”

The Austrian shrugs his shoulders. “No clue.”

He really doesn’t know. He hasn’t done anything embarrassing and the others haven’t pranked him in a while so there shouldn’t be anything to talk about. Unless...

The image of Y/N licking his own blood with a smirk on his lips comes to mind and he closes his eyes to get that memory out of his head.

Not that he succeeds this time either. In the last few days his brain has run itself stupid with replaying it.

It’s absurd and he kind of questions his sanity but there’s this part in his head that finds the blood-licking extremely hot.

Maybe he got hit a bit too much or Y/N threw him on the ground too often. Or his madness rubbed off. He laughs to himself, forgetting that the lower half of his face is currently uncovered so that he can eat.

“What?” Stiletto asks.

“What what?” He tilts his head in confusion.

“Why’re you laughing?”

He shrugs his shoulder.

“You hang out too often with Atom”, Calisto says, leaning back as she stirs her tea. “He’s rubbing off on you.”

He halts and stares at her. Can she hear his thoughts??

He’s about to open his mouth when Horangi interrupts: “I haven’t seen him around for a while. You two finally buried the hatchet?”

König shakes his head, shoving a bite into his mouth to avoid talking about it. But the others all look at him with expectation, there’s something in their expressions that makes him feel slightly anxious.

“Yeah, what’s your boyfriend up to?” Conor asks, slightly smiling, clearly trying to vex him.

“Oh fuck off”, he mutters with a full mouth, ignoring the eruption of snickers from his friends. His glad that most of his face is still covered, he can feel how his cheeks begin to heat up and he’s sure that his complexion would show it off.

He wonders though. Where’s Y/N?

The question gets answered when they’re on the way to their barracks.

Horangi suddenly pulls König aside after staring at his phone for a bit.

“Dude”, he begins, sounding unsure of how to breach the topic of whatever he wants to talk about, “I think I get why they’re talking about you.”

The tone of the Korean opens a pit in König’s stomach and instead of explaining more, Horangi just gives him his phone, standing awkwardly to the side, while he looks at the screen.

It’s a picture.

The angle tells him it was taken from outside the barracks, the photographer must’ve stood really close to the doorway. Y/N blocks off König’s head but even then it’s obvious that they’re kissing, based on the posture of their bodies.

He stares at the picture, trying to coordinate his racing thoughts.

Who took it? He asks himself barely putting the first few moments after parting lips with Atom together. But then he remembers, there was a marine.

He looks at Horangi, who watches him closely, his sunglasses on his head for once.

König doesn’t know what he should say, if he should explain, how his friend was even thinking about gay people- or in his case bisexual people- but he doesn’t even get the opportunity to open his mouth, because a sudden shout can be heard coming from the left corridor that leads to the gym.

“What the hell, Jackson- grab him!”

The group of KorTac operators all turn their heads, the shout clearly setting off some alarm bells. With various levels of interest, they make their way toward the gym, trying to find out what is going on.

König follows in a slight daze, still holding onto Horangi’s phone.

When they arrive, they can’t see shit at first because the room entrance is blocked by several marines standing in the doorway. Shouts and grunts can be heard from inside.

Someone yelps: "Fuck man, it was just a joke- stop it-!"

König’s eyes go wide when he hears Atom's voice- his tone is furious: "Let me show you what I understand as a joke, you motherfucker!"

There’s shuffling and several people shout: "Get him off!" "Fuck, how strong is this bastard!" “Calm down, sergeant!"

Due to König’s size he can look over most of the marines who are blocking the doorway and he spots the cause of the spectators; Y/N is on top of a marine, holding him in some type of gi choke, while four others try to pull him off the guy.

König recognizes the marine’s face immediately, even when he’s all bloody. It’s the man from the hallway and he understands what’s going on.

He tries to push through the crowd, calling out the sergeant’s name.

“Atom, calm down!”

He manages to make it through and rushes to them.

“Atom, let him go. You’re going to kill him”, he says and to everyone’s surprise, Y/N stops struggling as soon as he hears the Austrian’s voice. They pull him off of the guy.

“König”, he mutters and it sounds almost... relieved?

E/c meets blue. His eyes wander to the white band-aid on Atom’s neck. He gulps.

“Whatever he said, it’s not worth it. Just calm down, he’s an idiot.”

The marine with the bloody nose and face grunts, obviously not liking the insult but he knows better than retorting especially because Atom’s still in close proximity, turning to look down at him with a death stare.

The sergeant seems to contemplate König’s words for a bit. The tension and fury in his body haven’t left yet, he can tell based on the way he clenches his fists.

“That bastard-” Atom begins in a low voice, when suddenly their team leader’s voice comes from the hallway: “What the fuck is going on here?!”

König looks back, his eyes meet Stiletto’s who gives him a thumbs up and he nods.

The murmurs of the people around them stop immediately.

Majka parts the spectating crowd like Moses and he looks at the men in front of him, scrutinizing Atom and then the marine on the ground who’s holding his bleeding nose. He glances at König.

“Atom.” His voice is stern. “Go to my office and wait for me there, right now.”

The sergeant looks at him, his expression grim. “Sir-”

“RIGHT NOW!” Majka isn’t taking any of his bullshit today, he’s dead serious.

Atom looks at König for a moment and then turns and walks out of the room, his head high as he passes the onlookers.

The RS team leader turns around to face the gawking marines.

“Do you have nothing to do?” he growls. They mutter something and he just looks at the door. “Fuck off!”

The KorTac operators watch as they begin to filter out of the gym, the four marines who tried to pull Atom off of their guy also begin to move, one of them helps the bloodied man up but Majka points at him.

“Major Briggs wants to see your ass.”

The marine’s eyes go wide. He stammers a “Yes, sir!” and then hurries out of the room.

When the only people in the room are from KorTac, Majka sighs deeply and wipes his forehead. He looks at König.

“I don’t give a shit about your or anyone else’s sexual preferences. You like what you like, I don’t care but I’m telling you if anyone gives you shit-” the team leader looks at all of them, “tell me or Ridgeback. We’ll handle it. And if any of you have some dumbass opinions about someone’s sexuality, I’ll make sure to beat your ass straight, understood?”

König feels relief wash over him even after being put in the spotlight.

“Yessir!” they all shout and Hutch whistles loudly. “Awe, you care about us!”

Majka clicks his tongue in annoyance. “Yes, I do.”

They laugh and Conor shouts from the back: “Even about the lunatic?”

Their team leader rolls his eyes. “Even him. And now buzz off.”

He makes a shoo-shoo gesture and they file out into the hallway, König following behind the Serbian and Stiletto.

Zeus and Aksel joke around with Majka but he just flips them off and then leaves in the direction of his office. The others slowly make their way to the barracks, talking about what had just occurred.

The Austrian lingers behind the group, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the whole development of the last 15 minutes. Horangi seems to have realized that as he slows down to walk beside him.

“You okay?” he asks him. König shrugs his shoulders helplessly. “The marine- he took the photo.”

His friend nods. “Yeah, I guessed that...” He remains quiet for a while.

“So... Are you guys together then? Did you tame Atom without telling us?” The Korean shows a teasing smile towards the end.

König sighs deeply, the anxious knot in his stomach grows. “No. He just kissed me out of nowhere. He completely surprised me.”

Horangi tilts his head, eyeing him closely, trying to figure out how far he can prod. “So you’re not...?” he trails off.

Ah, fuck it.

“No, I am bi”, he states roughly, louder than he intended. The two KorTac operators in front of them turn around. “What does that mean?” Zero asks.

“He goes for both ladies and gents”, Klaus explains.

Zero nods thoughtfully. “I see. No mercy for anyone, makes sense.”

König looks at Horangi and they exchange eye contact.

His friend bursts out laughing, making more heads turn in their group.

“What?” Zero asks and Klaus just shakes his head, patting his shoulder. König can’t stop himself from smiling either, Zero’s answer was just perfect.

The anxiety in his chest slowly starts to disappear. Yeah, fuck it.

It isn’t his first coming out and he has good friends in KorTac. Worst case scenario, he’ll use the knife skills he has perfected over the last few months with Atom’s training to silence someone. His smile drops.

Atom.

Will he get a disciplinary meeting for beating up the marine?

König knows the sergeant has been warned several times about his behaviour. But Majka’s words from before... He knows that Y/N didn’t just beat the guy for no reason. Will they take that into account?

He doesn’t know and now the anxiety is back.

They reach the barracks and the women split with a “See you later, losers!” from them. König contemplates whether he should follow the others or go to Majka’s office to intercept Atom.

To be honest, he doesn’t really want to do the latter. He hasn’t talked to the sergeant in days and although he had a lot of time, he still hasn’t found the words he could say to him.

He knows they should address whatever that kiss meant but...

He just doesn’t know. Whether Y/N is serious or just toying with him. If he is, König doesn’t know if he would be able to deal with that truth. He feels someone’s eyes on him and he turns to his side, where Horangi is watching him.

“Are you going to talk with Atom about what just happened?” he asks, keeping his voice low this time. But he doesn’t have to worry because the others are walking off, disappearing around the corner.

König bites his lips. “I don’t know... Should I?”

Horangi looks at him baffled. “Why not?” he asks almost incredulously.

“We don’t usually talk”, he mutters fidgeting with the seam of his mask. His friend’s eyebrows almost disappear in his hairline. “So you do what...? Just fight all the time without a peep?”

He clicks his tongue. “No, I mean we just don’t... talk about anything serious. We don’t even do small talk. I have no clue what he’s doing in his off time, where he goes, what he likes to do. He just doesn’t seem like the guy for it.”

Horangi hums, understanding what he’s getting at. “You think it’ll be awkward?”

He nods. Yeah, that’s exactly it. He just can’t picture the conversation in his head.

‘Hey, so why did you kiss me out of the blue? Were you attracted to me all this time or was that just a stupid joke to throw me off my game? Because if so I’m probably going to go dig a hole outside at the obstacle course and kill myself in it. And why did you beat that guy up? Is it because he caught your joke and you’re a raging homophobe or because you wanted to protect your or my reputation?’ Ja, eher nicht.

He doesn’t know how Atom would react. Yes, he did get to know the sergeant better in the last few months, he got to know some of his personality and his quirks. But they’re mostly related to fighting.

König can discern when Y/N is in a good or a bad mood in their training fights.

If he’s in high spirits, the significant grin on his face is almost up to his ears and there’s a glint in his e/c eyes, his eyebrows raised. He trash talks more than usual and almost playfully strikes at him, a skip in his movements and sometimes it’s almost like he’s dancing.

The killing intent in his attacks is there but it’s more like he’s a cat playing with a mouse before biting it dead.

Unlike when he’s in a bad mood. Then there’s no amusement in his eyes, even though he keeps grinning. But the smirk combined with the furrowed line of his eyebrows is unsettling.

Y/N’s posture is usually an indication that he’s pissed. If he is, there’s a certain way he holds himself, the center of his balance low, shoulders tight.

His attacks are ruthless and precise and it always leaves König wondering if this is the time when he finally gets stabbed or cut. Those fights prove to him that there’s some truth behind Atom’s nut job reputation.

More than a few times he has witnessed the other’s temper when Y/N abruptly decides to end their fighting with a quick feint.

“It’s getting fucking boring.” And the next thing he knows a fist is smashing into the mat or wall right next to his head.

But usually, Atom feels better after sparring for a while, as seen by his walking away while whistling, even if he was pissed at the beginning of the fight. As he said, the sergeant seems to release his pent-up stress when they exchange blows.

So yeah... König can read Atom’s mood to a certain extent but there’s not much he knows about his personality besides that. In general, he doesn’t really know the man.

He’s aware of Atom’s exceptional combat skills, whether with a knife or a rifle and on ops he can count on him to carry on even through hell but more than that...

Not in a billion years did he think that he could potentially be attracted to him or other men in general. Okay, he was even questioning women, based on the lack of a reaction when they visited a strip club once on Hutch’s birthday.

But that’s beside the point. He just... König got to know Y/N’s fists throughout the last few months but other than that the man, his thoughts and feelings, they’re all an enigma.

Horangi stares at the pondering Austrian who looks hesitant and he could practically feel the anxiety radiate off of him.

But the Korean knows. He knows something König hasn’t realized yet and basically every one of the others knows as well, after all, they met Atom way earlier than he did.

“I think you should go have a heart-to-heart talk with Atom.”

The tall giant stares down at him.

“Yeah?”

He rolls his eyes and slaps his shoulders.

“I’m telling you there’s this raging sexual tension since you two met and I and the others are so fucking tired of dealing with it so yeah, please go talk about it, for fuck’s sake.”

König pulls a face not believing a word he just said but Horangi can’t see it.

“Okay, okay, I’ll go. Wish me luck.”

He begins to walk and he looks back at his friend. The other operator just shows him the middle finger. “Go get your boy!”

“Fick dich!” he replies over his shoulder waving him off.

“Mi-chin saeggi!”

The curses of his friend in his ears, König breathes in deeply and makes his way slowly to Majka’s office. He waits in front of the door for a while unsure whether Atom is still in there with his team leader.

Two minutes pass. Then five. Then ten.

He’s about to finally get a grip and knock when the door swings open and he stands tall, hoping to see Ato- and it’s Ridgeback.

“Jesus! König what the hell are you doing standing so close in front of the door?!” she yells surprised and he apologizes immediately, backing up from the doorframe. “Sorry! I wanted to uh- is Atom still in there?”

She looks him up and down, and an understanding expression grows on her face.

“No, Majka dismissed him already. He should be in the infirmary, he’s supposed to apologize to Mr. fuckface.”

König tilts his head, not quite sure if she’s meaning what he thinks she means. “The marine he beat up”, she clarifies.

“Ah, yeah. That makes sense...” he says a bit flustered. She’s about to leave when she halts and looks up at him, her eyes soft now.

“König, what that guy did? Taking pictures and spreading them around, making hateful comments? I’m not saying that Atom’s reaction was right but I can understand him. If someone did this to my wife... Majka and I are in agreement. And the higher-ups are too. We have a zero-tolerance policy for shit like that and if it happens again, come to us. We’ll handle it. Gladly.”

She smiles dangerously at the end and he nods slowly, a bit taken aback that she just casually dropped her marriage status.

“I’ll see you later, König.”

“Thank you, Ridgeback”, he says after her and she waves as she walks off.

5 minutes later he finally comes across Atom. Not in the infirmary though.

He wanted to take a quick trip to the toilet before the slightly nerve-wracking conversation when he walks into the bathroom and spots the sergeant with his back to him.

He freezes when he sees him and for a few seconds they’re quiet, the only sound is the closing door behind him.

He takes a deep breath and finally speaks:

“Atom...? Can we talk? About the uh- the photo and... that fight just now?”

Y/N is standing at the sink, cleaning up the blood on his knuckles with a towel. He turns to glance at the Austrian. "König", he acknowledges his presence before continuing to swipe at the back of his hands.

His demeanor is unlike his usual self. His posture is slightly hunched over, not standing tall as usual. The usual confidence - Conor calls it arrogance - was nowhere to be seen.

König looks at him, suddenly unsure if it really was a good idea to follow Horangi’s words.

At this moment, he’s not sure whether Atom’s agitated because he can’t see his face. But the tension in his body is telling him yes.

“That fight wasn’t just about the photo, right?”, he asks slowly, watching the sergeant with eagle eyes.

Y/N halts, stopping his mindless wiping of the blood. "Oh? Do I sense some brain cells from you König?", he jokes half-heartedly still standing with his back towards him.

König bites his lip, not liking the tone of the other’s words.

He’s already anxious as is and he feels like the Atom he’s facing right now is unknown territory. He almost feels like they’re back to zero like after their first fight when König believed he was a fucking psychopath. The operator standing at the sink feels like a stranger.

He hides his hands in his pockets, clenching and unclenching them into fists in an attempt to relax.

He waits for the h/c haired man to talk but Y/N doesn’t.

He takes a deep breath and asks quietly: “Why did you kiss me?”

The Austrian looks at the other man, he sees his back muscles tense and Atom puts down both hands on the edge of the sink, looking down. König waits with bated breath for an answer. Instead, he gets a question back.

“Did it disgust you?”

Y/N almost spats the words, they’re dripping with hostility and subconsciously, König clutches the hilt of his switch knife.

“No”, he says carefully but it seems like the sergeant misunderstands his tone and he growls: “Don’t lie to me!”

“I’m not lying!” he responds earnestly. Atom looks him in the eyes, then he stares at his hips, realizing something.

“You brought your knife?”, he asks in a low tone, his voice on edge.

König can feel the atmosphere in the room shift immediately and based on the furrow of Y/N’s eyebrows it’s not good.

“I always have it with me”, he explains, “just in case.” You taught me that he thinks. “Just in case, huh... Take it out.”

He looks at him baffled.

“No, why-” Y/N takes a step in his direction, his hand on the sheathe of his Atom Splitter at his leg. “Take it out, König.”

Fuck, he thinks. This isn’t how he expected the conversation to go. Fuck Horangi, man, fuck him.

He does as he’s told, activating the blade and Atom unsheathes his knife, twirling it in that familiar fashion while his significant grin forms on his lips. A shiver runs down König’s spine.

“Can we not do this right now?”, he pleads, holding the knife at his side, clearly not wanting to fight the sergeant. But Atom doesn’t care. He never seemed to care before either. He just attacks. Relentlessly.

By the first blow, König realizes that the other man is deadly serious about it this time. His mask gets cut, and the blade barely misses his cheek. The knot in his stomach coils.

If he’s not careful, he’s going to die. He can see the bloodlust in the e/c eyes.

König pushes Y/N’s blade away with his own. He put a lot of force behind it but the sergeant is unfazed, he attacks from a new angle, stabbing at König’s torso.

He blocks the knife but Atom gets a hit in, punching his jaw.

The bathroom is filled with pained grunts and the sound of punches but all König can hear is his messy heartbeat as adrenaline is pumped through his veins.

What ticked him off? I didn’t want this. That thought spirals in his head. I don’t want this.

Atom kicks his knee, making him falter.

Next thing he knows, he’s kneeling and Y/N’s knife is pressed against his throat. Even through the fabric of his mask, he can feel the coldness on his skin. They both pant. König looks up at the sergeant, his face is blank, the smirk gone.

Atom grabs his hair through the fabric at the back of his head, pulling it back harshly. He gasps alarmed, dropping his knife, and he searches the e/c eyes. They stare down at him, pupils blown wide.

“Y/N”, he whispers. The man begins to smile ominously. “You make my blood boil, König.”

His face changes when he hears those words.

The nervousness of having that knife to his throat when Atom’s eyes look dead like this is still fluttering in his chest. But there’s also something else. A knot forms in his lower stomach and his eyes land on the white band-aid on the sergeant’s throat.

Y/N continues: “Only you get me this excited... Makes me wanna fight all day long. What am I supposed to do?” He tilts his head.

König gulps and watches with eagle eyes how the h/c haired man uses his blade to lift the seam of his mask and flip it over his head, exposing his scarred face. A burst of anxiety and self-consciousness rushes through his veins as those e/c eyes study his appearance. A glint appears in them.

“Do you like our fights?” Atom asks, his voice slightly hoarse as he presses the blade to König’s cheek, tracing one of the pale scars with it.

The tone of his voice is light but he can feel the significance of that question, he sees the expectant look in Y/N’s eyes.

He nods. “Yeah”, he mutters slowly, staring up at him, “I do.”

Atom’s brows lift and his smile widens, showing the white of his teeth and his gums. “Really?”, he prods. He nods again.

He can see Y/N debate something, emotions flit across his face that he hasn’t ever seen before on him and the knot of anxiety in his chest unfurls, making space for something else. Hope, anticipation.

“Atom...” he begins and Y/N takes this as his cue to kiss König without hesitation. It takes him by surprise again but this time he’s prepared to breathe through his nose and he actually responds to the kiss.

Atom’s grip on his hair is tight and he holds his head in place as he practically devours König. The intensity makes him gasp and Y/N uses it to push his tongue into his mouth, exploring every inch mercilessly without allowing any pushback.

The sergeant kisses like he fights. Aggressively and intensely. He loves it. If he were touched carefully at this very moment, he would probably dislike it. After all, the ferocity is what he always enjoys about their fights.

König allows his eyes to close, leaning into the sensation, slowly getting lost, when he feels a sharp pain and tastes iron in his mouth. Atom fucking bit his tongue!

He grunts in protest but the other man doesn’t care at all. They part, their breaths mingling and Y/N groans: “You taste so fucking good, König.”

He looks up at him, seeing the intense desire burning in the e/c eyes and certainty washes over him.

He pushes himself off the ground, forcing the sergeant to let go of his hair. He towers over him and for a second they just stare at each other before König moves, his hands pushing Y/N back until he collides with the bathroom wall.

He dips his head and their lips connect again, the taste of iron intermingling. He can hear the clatter of Atom’s knife on the ground before two hands touch him, igniting a fire wherever they roam his skin.

Y/N tugs and prods at his clothes, pulling his shirt out of his pants to stick his hands underneath, and in the next second König can feel fingernails dig into his back. He growls and the sergeant smiles into their kiss. “’re always so aggressive-” König complains breathlessly.

Atom snorts. “Don’t act like you don’t like it.” His lips trail down his neck, biting and sucking and König presses his thigh between Y/N’s legs in response, getting a low groan out of the other man.

It sends a spark through his body and his mouth twitches as Atom grinds against his thigh. “Y/N-” he warns but he gets interrupted when the flush of a toilet can be heard.

Atom stops moving, his hand halting mid-air, only inches away from König’s belt buckle. “It’s the women’s bathroom”, he says, trying to calm the Austrian down before touching his belt. But it sobers König up a bit and he leans back, stopping his hands.

“We should probably stop here. It would be a bit awkward if someone walks in.”

Y/N clicks his tongue in annoyance. “Let them watch.”

He smirks and they look at each other. König’s hair is absolutely dishevelled, his face red from their make-out session. Atom doesn’t look any better, his eyes still hold the glimmering desire.

He breathes out slowly and begins to smile.

“We should continue elsewhere.” He licks his lips, the bloody taste still in his mouth but unlike before this day he likes it.

Atom follows his tongue’s movement with eagle eyes. “Yeah, we definitely should.” He pauses for a second, disappointment evident on his face.

“I can’t right now though.” He sounds grumpy.

König tilts his head, confused, staring down at him. “Why?”

“I have to clean the bathrooms as punishment.”

He blinks and follows Y/N’s eyes toward the mop in the corner.

“Will you help me?” The sergeant bats his eyelashes like the women who try to flirt with König at the local bars. He laughs, walking backward, putting his hands up.

“I just remembered I have something to do.”

E/c eyes darken. “Come on! Be good and help your boyfriend!”

His heart leaps. “Oh, so we’re boyfriends now? I don’t remember saying yes to this agreement.”

Y/N glowers at him, picking up his knife from the ground.

“It was a joke!” he protests but the man strides up to him, pointing the blade at his throat. At this point, it’s getting old.

“Say it.”

He snorts. Atom stares up at him, his dead expression suddenly looking less intimidating and more so somewhat adorable. He tilts his head, provocatively.

“What?”

“You know what.”

König grins and grabs Y/N’s hand holding the knife.

“I’ll let you be my boyfriend.”

Atom only raises an eyebrow and he guides the sergeant’s hand and knife away from his throat before dipping down again and stealing a kiss from his lips. A soft one this time. One that makes König’s heart swell and flutter from happiness.

Y/N closes his eyes, enjoying the moment and they stay closed even after they part. König coughs, smirking.

“Anyways, I can’t help you with the cleaning sorry.”

Atom opens his eyes wide and a breathy indignant laugh escapes him as he watches the Austrian turn around and leave the bathroom whistling, mirroring the many times Y/N did it to him. Payback’s a bitch, he thinks.

“You forgot your knife! König! Come back!” Atom shouts his tone almost pleading but König is already out the door and he laughs and yells over his shoulder:

“You can bring it to me tonight, mein Schatz!”

___

Translations (freely mostly)

Ja, eher nicht - German: “Yes, better not”

Fick dich - German: “Fuck you”

mi-chin saeggi 미친새끼 - Korean: “Crazy son of a bitch”

mein Schatz - German: “my dear, my love” lit. “my treasure”

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blazingstar400 · 1 month

Text

Incorrect Scarlet and Violet Quotes Part 3

Guess who still has a bunch of these sitting in a document?

Juliana: Happiness is like rainbows! If you see one, you smile because it’s so colorful! Sometimes, you get two and you get double happy!! :D

Kieran: Sometimes, you always get none even after watching so many rainy days you just stop and you just sit there, disappointed that no matter your effort, happiness doesn’t want you and life just truly hates you.

Penny: *calling a therapist*

Kieran, at the beginning of Teal Mask: *looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll*

Kieran, at the end of Teal Mask: *looks like a cinnamon roll, could kill you*

Kieran, at the beginning of Indigo Disk: *looks like he could kill you, could definitely kill you*

Kieran, at the end of Indigo Disk: *looks like he could kill you, is a cinnamon roll*

*if Nemona was a waitress*

Nemona: Okay, guys, who wanted the macaroni and bees?

Everyone, at the table: …

Arven: …You mean cheese, right?

Nemona, struggling to keep the bowl covered: That does make more sense, actually—

Juliana, barging into Penny’s room, pushing in a wheelbarrow with Nemona in it: PENNY! NEMONA’S DEAD!

Penny: *gasps*

Nemona, getting up: That’s right! Dead serious about going to Disneyland!!

Penny: *groans*

Florian, about to leave Naranja/Uva Academy: Don’t spend all day watching anime, okay?

Penny: I forge my own path!

Clavell, tired: I’d like to live through one week in this school that’s not a whole new verse of ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’.

Yukito, meeting Juliana for the first time: Oh, is this the girl your always telling me about, Kieran?

Kieran, nervously chuckling: AHA, Grandma! Stop making things up!

Yukito: She’s even prettier in person—

Kieran, opening a window and jumping out: Okay gotta run, bye!

Arven: Just when I thought Nemona couldn’t get any weirder, I saw her trying to write three different essays at the same time.

Arven: She was taking one essay at a time and writing a few sentences before moving onto the next.

Carmine: I think I’m getting sick, I’m losing my voice.

Juliana: That means you can’t yell at us anymore!

*later*

Juliana: Turns out Carmine is a lot scarier when she’s quiet.

Kieran: Do you think we could ever be… more than friends?

Juliana, beaming: I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED! I can totally see us as Pokémon! I even drew a picture, let me go ge—

Carmine: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and look at the picture.

The squad: Aww.

Carmine: And then I tell myself ‘If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything’.

The squad: Oh.

Arven: Did you get the eggs like I asked?

Nemona: Even better!

Arven: What did you do?

Nemona, holding up a chicken: Her name is Fluffy.

Kieran: What are you? Two?

Drayton: Yeah, two heads taller than you!

Kieran: *inhales deeply*

*5 minutes later*

Kieran: OPEN THE DOOR, YOU COWARD!!

Drayton: I WAS JUST JOKING! Juliana, calling Penny: Can you come pick me up? I think I’m lost…

Penny: I swear, if you got lost playing Pokémon Go—

Juliana: I caught an Eevee. If you pick me up, I’ll name it Penny.

Penny: I’m on my way!!

*when Juliana first meets Kieran again in Blueberry Academy*

Juliana: *going in to hug Kieran*

Kieran: *pushes her away and assumes a fighting stance*

Juliana: Hey, why’d you push me???

Kieran: I thought you were going to attack me.

Juliana: I was going to hug you!

Kieran, narrowing his eyes: Why would you hug me?

Juliana: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU?!

And that’s the end of part 3!! I still have so many quotes so there will probably be a part 4 in the future. (I swear I’ll post more than just incorrect quotes but they are just really fun to write lol.)

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bisexual-queenie · 6 months

Note

Could you please write more BNHA Pro Heroes as Incorrect Quotes. I need a Pt.2

OMG Im so happy that someone wanted a part 2 to one of my favorite posts that I made!! Here yall go!

(Few trigger warnings before we begin: Use if swearing, and mentions of violence an alcohol. Let me know if I missed anything!)

Ships mentioned (Vaugley and outright): Erasermic, Edgejeanist, Nightmight, and Kamui x Mount Lady

—————————————————————————

Eraserhead: You have to apologize to Takeyama.

Midnight: Fine.

Midnight: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

All Might: You often use humor to deflect trauma.

Nighteye: Thank you!

All Might: I didn't say that was a good thing.

Nighteye: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.

Present Mic: Do you remember that horrible roommate you had back in college?

Eraserhead: You mean you?

Mount Lady: Sometimes I feel like dying.

Kamui Woods: Wha-

Mount Lady: And then I remember that I won't be able to see you if I do.

Kamui Woods: *blushes*

———————————————————————

Best Jeanist: Sometimes I feel like dying.

Edgeshot: Good for you.

Miruko: Do I look nice?

Fat Gum: You look like you're about to set someone on fire.

Miruko: Perfect.

Present Mic: A fistfight CAN be romantic.

Miruko: And you know what the worst part is?

Ryukyuu: That you're having to process your pain without vodka?

Miruko: No.

Miruko: Yeah.

Midnight: If you found out you only had one day left to live, what would you do with it?

Eraserhead: Say goodbye and mend my relationships.

Present Mic: Something illegal.

Shirakumo: Accept my fate.

Tensei: I would message ten people saying that if they didn't forward the message to 10 other people, I would die tomorrow.

Eraserhead: What?

Shirakumo: That's fucking awesome. Can I change my answer?

Eraserhead: Hizashi, just GO TO THE HOSPITAL

Present Mic: Who's stab wound is this???? Is it OUR stab wound???? No! Stay out of it!

Hawks: I'm the proud owner of an IQ of 5 (and a half)!

Endeavor: Not for long.

Hawks: Please. It's all I have.

Present Mic: "Ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I'm falling asleep already.

Present Mic: "Cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, casual and fun. Short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic.

Nighteye: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

Present Mic: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

Gang Orca: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.

Edgeshot: Kuugo, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck.

Gang Orca: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.

Edgeshot: Well, I mean yeah.

Gang Orca: So come downstairs while they’re still hot.

Best Jeanist: Wait, you just made them?

Gang Orca: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.

Edgeshot: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Kuugo.

Present Mic: *speaking Spanish*

Eraserhead: I know, I know.

All Might: You speak Spanish?

Eraserhead: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Hizashi speaks.

All Might: I would never say that Mirai is a bitch and I don’t don’t like him. That’s not true…Mirai is a bitch and I like him so much!

Edgeshot: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

*Present Mic sneezes*

Eraserhead: Hizashi, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!

*anyone else sneezes*

Eraserhead: Oh my god. Shut the hell up.

Hawks: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack.

Miruko: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.

Fat Gum: Hey Sasaki?

Nighteye: Yeah?

Fat Gum: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Nighteye:

Nighteye: ...What.

Ryukyuu: So, what's it like living with Hakamada?

Edgeshot: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

Ryukyuu: ...

Edgeshot: I love them so much.

Fat Gum: I’m sorry, I really flew off the handle back there. It was like the handle was a bald guy going really fast, and I was his toupée.

Someone interviewing the Lurkers: What are the hardest things to say?

Mount Lady: I was wrong.

Edgeshot: I need help.

Kamui Woods: Worcestershire sauce.

Eraserhead: You’re drunk.

Present Mic: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Shouta.

Endeavor: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Hawks: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Best Jeanist: I got distracted halfway through.

Edgeshot: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Hawks: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?

All Might: Schrödinger's boys.

Miruko: FUCK!

Present Mic: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?

Nighteye: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.

Nighteye: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

Hawks: ...

All Might: ...

Miruko: ...

Present Mic: ...

Nighteye: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

60 notes · View notes

mamirhodessxox · 2 months

Text

Hey There Delilah Incorrect Quotes.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Jey: If we’re in trouble, just throw Cody at the problem, and hope for the best.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Seth: *slams books down in front of Cody*

Seth: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night.

Cody: You could of said literally anything else.

Seth: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.

Cody: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Seth: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.

Seth: One... two... three.

Cody: ...

Seth: ...

Seth: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Cody: Okay, looking good. Okay, ciders mulling, turkey’s turking, yams are yamming … What?

Mira: I don’t know. It’s just not the same without Randy in the kitchen.

Cody: All right, that’s it. Just get out of my way and stop annoying me.

Mira: That’s closer.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Seth, playing a video game: This game is so frustrating! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

Randy: Ok, I think it’s time to turn off the game for a little while.

Seth: But I’m having fun!

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy*

Seth: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?

Mira: No, Seth. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.

Seth: No, that’s not part of it—

Mira: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?

Jey: I would want to live with no legs.

Mira: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Jey. You don’t do anything.

Seth: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him.

Mira: *pumps frantically*

Seth: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.

Mira: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

Cody: How’s that gonna help you?

Mira: I will divide and then count to it.

Cody: Right.

Seth: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?

Mira: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

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Cody: Does everyone know their job for today?

Delilah: Water the flowers.

Seth: Vacuum the carpet.

Mira: Wash the dishes.

Randy: Pretend to be a wolverine.

Cody: Close enough.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Delilah, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?

Cody: …

Cody: What’s in the box?

Delilah: What woul-

Cody: Delilah, what’s in the box?

Delilah: I think you know.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Mira: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

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Seth: What do you want for breakfast, Randy?

Randy: Gay Cheerios.

Seth: I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING FRUIT LOOPS THAT!!

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Rhea: ARE YOU-

Jey: Fucking.

Rhea: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Jey: Fucking.

Rhea: IDIOT!

Cody: …What was that?

Jey: Delilah banned Rhea from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Randy: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??

Cody: So fuck oxygen, I guess.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Cody: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Delilah: Okay.

Cody: And make out during the scary parts.

Delilah: Th-

Delilah: The scary parts.

Delilah: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Delilah: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Randy: You guys worried about Mira?

Becky: Totally!

Cody: Yeah, they called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?"

Randy: And what'd you say?

Cody: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno."

Becky:

Randy: They're lucky to have you as a friend.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Randy: Deep down, I'm sure I was always pretty okay with you.

Mira: Thanks, Randy!

Randy: It wasn't a compliment, numbnuts.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Delilah: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it.

Mira: …I was hungry.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

🏷️ list: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @agent-dessis-posts @adollonyourshelf @valkyrurr @alyyaanna @niknakbucks92 @mini-rhodes @southerngirl41

28 notes · View notes

stardew-otter · 2 years

Text

Stardew Valley Incorrect Quotes - Part 4

•─────✧─────•

Elliott: This work is amazing! You can clearly see all of the effort the author put into this fine piece. It evokes such great emotions that most can not even begin to comprehend, it's amazing! I strive to be able to write with such skill.

Sebastian: ...

Sebastian: Elliott is that Ao3-

─────────────────────

Harvey: I swear, sometimes I feel like the only one with a brain cell...

Farmer: ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF THE BRAIN CELL!!

Harvey: Farmer please lay down you're losing blo-

Sam, Elliott, Shane, and Emily: ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF THE BRAIN CELL!!!

─────────────────────

*Game Night in Stardew Valley*

Sam: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.

Sebastian: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.

Abigail: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.

Maru: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.

Sebastian: *flips the board*

─────────────────────

Maru: Hey, what do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?

Sebastian: What the fuck did you just say-

Maru: Foetons! *Laughs*

Sebastian: Wh-what?

Demetrius: HAAAHAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH- *dad laugh*

─────────────────────

Shane: *sniffling*

Shane: Calm down you tall bastard, I'm not sick. It's just allergies.

Harvey: Mmhm, alright... then tell me, have you been feeling more tired than normal recently?

Shane: I have depressions, what do you think?

─────────────────────

Emily: Do you have a self-care routine?

Haley: Saying "Keep going bitch" to myself in different accents.

─────────────────────

Sam: *pulls back shower curtain with flair*

Sebastian: AAAAAAAAAA-

Sam: I- stop screaming it's me bro - anyways did we run out of pizza?

─────────────────────

Leah: *running towards Elliott with open arms*

Elliott: *runs out of the way*

Leah: Hey, why'd you move?!

Elliott: I thought you were going to attack me-

Leah: I was going to hug you!

Elliott, touch starved: Why would you hug me?

Leah, shows affection through touch: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

─────────────────────

Sebastian: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.

─────────────────────

Marnie: I’m proud to say I’ve come over my fear of ghosts!

Shane: That’s the spirit Marnie.

Marnie: *gasps* whErE???!!!??

─────────────────────

Farmer after dating everyone at once (without the polyamory mod): I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.

─────────────────────

Penny: I love murder mysteries!

Farmer, trying to impress her: I've been a suspect in four murder cases and I've-

─────────────────────

Farmer: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Harvey/Leah: I'll marry you.

─────────────────────

Sam: Uhm, Mrs.Robin? Sebby is in the lake and I don't think they're waterproof.

Robin: What?

Abigail: I think he meant Sebastian is drowning.

Robin: WHAT?!

*Meanwhile at the lake*

Sebastian: *drowning*

Maru: YOBA, KEEP SWIMMING SEB!!!

Sebastian: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks*

Demetrius: SEBASTIAN!

•─────✧─────•

Yee ^^;

Lowkey running out of ideas, that or I'm just tired lol

#stardew valley #incorrect stardew valley quotes #stardew valley incorrect quotes #sdv #sdv harvey #sdv elliott #sdv farmer #sdv abigail #sdv alex #sdv emily #sdv sebastian #sdv shane #sdv maru #sdv penny #sdv marnie #sdv robin #sdv demetrius #sdv haley

867 notes · View notes

spacefinch · 1 year

Text

Star Wars Rebels Incorrect Quotes

Ezra: *pulls out lightsaber* We have ways of making you talk.

Imperial officer: *nervous*

Ezra: *cuts cake*

Imperial officer: Can I have some?

Kanan: Cake is for talkers.

Mart: Big mood.

Rex: What does that mean?

Mart: Well, it kinda means, like, me too, I guess.

Rex: Thanks kid.

*1 week later at a command briefing*

Commander Sato: I’m kind of worried about this mission.

Rex: Big mood, Commander, big mood.

Sato: Mart, what did you do?

Rebel soldier, throwing a detonator: YEET!

Sato: Excuse me?

Soldier: You see, Mart told me—

Sato: WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN?

Inquisitor: IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

Ezra: Look, I’m 15. I’m trying very hard. You gotta work with me here, bud!

Zeb: Here’s the plan.

Zeb: I go in.

Zeb: I start hitting people hard in the face.

Zeb: And we see where that takes us.

Hera: No.

Kanan: This is not the time for your shenanigans.

Ezra: It was a single shenanigan.

Ezra: I have cat-like reflexes.

Sabine: Prove it.

Ezra: *sees a cat*

Ezra (instantly): I like that cat.

Spaceport desk person: Would a Commander Sato please come to the front desk?

Sato, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Desk person: I believe they belong to you?

Ezra and Sabine, simultaneously: We got lost.

Sato: I didn’t even bring you two here with me.

Ezra: On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if—

Kanan: At least twenty.

Ezra: Oh, just so you know, it’s very muggy outside.

Hera: Ezra, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are there..

Hera: [Gives Zeb the Look of Disappointment]

Zeb: [sips coffee from bowl]

Sabine: [locked up by the Inquisitor]

Sabine: [mockingly] Oh look, I’m the Inquisitor.

Sabine [slips metal pin from boot]: I’m a big scary guy with a red lightsaber.

Sabine: [begins to pick the lock on the cell door] I’m going to hunt down all the Jedi and their rebel friends.

Sabine: Gonna lock up the girl instead of killing her because she’s not really dangerous to my evil master plans.

Sabine: [kicks down the door]: Oops, she got out.

Sabine: I have a plan.

Kanan: It can’t involve blowing stuff up.

Sabine: I have no plan.

[Explosion in background]

Ezra [off camera]: This was a horrible idea.

Zeb [also off camera]: THIS WAS YOUR IDEA, EZRA!

Ezra: It’s time for Plan B.

Sabine: We have a Plan B?

Ezra: No, but it’s time for one.

Mart: I have a question.

Wolffe: Okay, shoot.

Mart: [shoots blaster at the ceiling] All right, can I ask it now?

Kanan: Go clean your bunker.

Ezra: [waves hand] I don’t need to clean my bunker.

Kanan: [waves hand] Yeah, you do.

Jonner: Oh, that’s so nice, you brought us snacks!

Mart, holding the snacks close: I never said that.

Sato: What is the proper way to deal with someone annoying you?

Ezra: A lightsaber.

Sato: No.

Ezra: Two lightsabers.

Sato: No!

Hera: I’m leaving. Kanan’s in charge while I’m gone. I’ve left notes for each of you with instructions.

Ezra: Mine just says “Ezra, no.”

Hera: And you can apply that to any situation.

Mart: If you had to separate your Loth-cat from 49 other identical Loth-cats that were all equally excited to see you, how would you determine which one is yours?

Ezra: Easy. I would take all 50 Loth-cats home.

Hera: So how are you and Chopper getting along?

Sato: I think he’s finally warming up to me.

Sato: [sees Chopper rolling by]

Sato: Hey, Chopper.

Chopper: [zaps him]

Sato: It’s a work in progress.

Ezra: Here is my award for the most direct orders ignored.

Kanan: That’s not an award. That is an angry letter from Commander Sato.

Ezra: Well, it says most, so I’m calling it an award.

Zeb: [sitting outside listening to the radio]

[something explodes in distance]

Zeb: [turns up the volume]

Sato: Are you in my ceiling, Bridger?

Ezra [muffled]: No.

Sabine: How’s it going?

Kanan: Fine. Except for this headache that comes and goes.

Rex: [enters the room]

Kanan: And it’s back.

Sabine: [looks right]

Sabine: [looks left]

Sabine: [runs through hallway] I’m such a good spy. I’m so sneaky.

Ezra: [in the vent above her; can hardly keep himself from laughing]

Phoenix Squadron Rule #56: No, the command ship isn’t haunted, it’s just Ezra in the vents.

Mart: I am the most responsible person here.

Gooti: But you just flooded the bunker.

Mart: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.

[record scratch] [freeze frame]

Mart, narrating: Yup, that’s me. Mart Mattin Sato. Now, you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

Mart: I have two best friends I go to for advice.

Mart: One rationalizes, uses logic. and the other one hypes me up to do dumb stuff.

Mart: Balance.

Sato: For this mission we need a good pilot. Anyone interested?

Mart: [raises hand]

Sato: [sigh] Someone who doesn’t want to wreck their starfighter?

Mart: [puts hand down slowly]

Wolffe: I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.

Mart: I said “how hard could it be?”

Wolffe: No, don’t hit the button, just press it, gently.

Mart: I am pressing it gently! It’s not working!

Ezra: You can drink drinks but you can’t food foods.

Kanan: Excuse me?

Sabine: Eza has no survival skills. His need to win has replaced them.

Mart: That can’t be true.

Sabine: Watch this. Ezra, race you downstairs!

Ezra: [shatters the window with his lightsaber] [jumps out the window] [parkours all the way to the ground]

Mart: I see what you mean.

Imperial officer: I have an army.

Sato: We have a Jedi.

Kanan: Let’s go to your happy place. Think of things you love.

Ezra: My family, the color orange…

Kanan: Okay.

Ezra: Loth-cats, Jedi stuff…

Kanan: Good.

Ezra:

The Sith Holocron

Kanan: No!

Zeb: What are you going to do?

Ezra: I don’t know. Something dramatic, I hope.

Wolffe: Do you know how to fly this thing?

Mart: We’ll see.

Wolffe: That’s a yes or no question.

Mart: Yes.

Kanan: Is everything a joke to you?

Ezra: Funny things are.

Rex: Hey kid, have you seen my helmet anywhere?

Ezra [wearing Rex’s helmet]: No. Can’t say I have, sir.

Ezra: So I have some good news and some bad news.

Sato: Good news first.

Ezra: Well, the ejector seats in the A-wings work amazing, sir.

Ezra: [trying to climb onto the roof to do a backflip off the roof]

Kanan: [Trying to stop Ezra]

Chopper: [Cheering Ezra on]

Zeb: [making a bet with Sabine on whether or not Ezra will hurt himself]

Hera, looking into the camera like she’s on The Office: I need new teammates.

[while stuck on Phoenix Nest]

Sabine: I know what to do! We should play another game of hide and seek!

Ezra: Oh no, never again.

Sabine: Why not?

Ezra: You left me in the vents last time!

Sabine: IT WAS ONE TIME!

Ezra: I WAS THERE FOR TWO DAYS!

Kanan: It’s quiet. Too quiet.

[blaster bolt barely misses him]

Kanan: To be honest, I preferred the quiet.

Mart: Four months?

Jonner: What is he talking about?

Gooti: It’s not that big of a deal-

Mart: You stood by and watched me water a fake plant for FOUR MONTHS?!

Hera: I can’t submit this mission report. Who wrote it?

Kanan: Why, what does it say?

Hera: All it says its “Bad guys went pew-pew, we went pew-pew better.”

Ezra: … Was I wrong, though?

Kanan, exasperated, in Ezra’s direction: YOU ARE A BOY, NOT A TREE!

Kanan: [casually blocks incoming blaster fire with his lightsaber]

Sabine: [resting face while throwing a detonator into the stormtroopers’ midst]

Hera: While Kanan and I are gone, you’re in charge, Ezra.

Ezra: YES!

Hera to Sabine: You’re secretly in charge.

Sabine: Obviously.

Ezra: [suspiciously walking away from Kanan’s room, snickering]

Hera: Ezra!

Ezra: What?

Hera: I was just looking for you.

Ezra: Why? I didn’t do anything.

Hera: What?

Ezra: What?

Hera: [gives Ezra the Look] What did you do?

Kanan: [walks in with whipped cream on his face] It’s not funny. I was sleeping peacefully. Very funny, Ezra.

Ezra, laughing: I didn’t.. I didn’t do it.

Kanan: Uh, well, Sabine…. I don’t appreciate—

Sabine: Don’t look at me!

Kanan: Okay, well, Hera!

Hera: Nope.

Kanan: Well, who was it then? I know it was one of you!

Sato: [smiles]

[creature roaring in background]

Ezra: DUDES! YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN! [runs away]

Sato: I am at a loss for words.

[cut to shot of Mart looking straight at the camera like he’s on The Office]

Mart: Despite being at a loss for words, my uncle scolded me for three minutes straight.

Imperial officer: Your insolence goes too far!

Ezra: Wrong. It can go a lot further.

Ezra: [reminds Sato of his younger self]

Sato: I like this kid, he’s my son now.

Kanan: Wha- wait! I already called it!

Sato: Where’s Ezra?

Rex: Doing stuff.

Sato: Then where’s Kanan?

Rex: Trying to stop Ezra from doing stuff.

Sato: So where is Sabine?

Rex: Stopping Kanan from stopping Ezra from doing stuff.

Sato: If they’re doing all that, why are you out here?

Rex: Someone has to keep you distracted, Commander.

Chopper: (translated from droid binary) <I despise you with every inch of my being.>

Mart: Well, it isn’t a lot of inches.

Ezra, barely holding Chopper back: RUN

Mart: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

Hera: *helps Sabine onto the couch*

Chopper: *pushes Ezra off a chair*

Mart: As you can see, there are two types of people.

Mart: We have good news and bad news.

Gooti: Okay, bad news first.

Jonner: The fire we started in the bunker is out of control—

Gooti: THE WHAT—

Mart, holding a perfectly roasted marshmallow: Wow, so you don’t even care about the good news?

Ezra: I’m in me mum’s car, vroom vroom.

Hera: Get out of me car!

Ezra: Aww.

🎵You are my dad🎵

YOU’RE MY DAD!

🎵Boogie woogie woogie🎵

— Ezra to Kanan

Hera: Let me see what you have!

Chopper: *droid sounds* (translation: A knife!)

Hera: NO!

Ezra: 🎶 I want to see my little boy 🎶

Sabine: *holding Loth-cat* Here he comes!

Ezra: 🎶 I want to see my little boy 🎶

Mart, Gooti, and Jonner (gathered around a lettuce): Cabbasu, cabbasu, cab-a-su, LETTASU, LETTASU, LETTASUUUUUU!

Ezra: On all levels except physical, I am a Loth-wolf. *barks*

Mart: Hey did you hear that Joe contracted ligma? They had to do a surgery on his updog.

Sato: Who’s Joe? What’s ligma? What’s updog?

Mart: *inhales*

Sato's revenge:

Mart: Hey uncle, what are you eating?

Sato: I'm having jogan fruit and amatta. Do you want some?

Mart: What's amatta?

Sato: Nothing. What's ammatta with you?

#star wars #star wars rebels #incorrect quotes #commander sato #mart mattin #the ghost crew

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tala-bez-i · 3 months

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Tokyo Revengers incorrect quotes part 2

y/n: I'm cold. Chifuyu: Here, take my hoodie. *meanwhile* Mikey: I'm cold. Draken: I can't control the weather, Mikey.

*during a group project* Takemichi: *does 99% of the work* Kazutora: *has no idea what’s going on* Draken: *says they’re gonna help but does not* Mikey: *disappears at the very beginning and doesn’t show up again until the very end*

Mikey: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation. Chifuyu: So you're just gonna wait until Draken is in danger and save them? Mikey: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them. Chifuyu: ... Chifuyu: You're insane.

Draken: It’s the gift that keeps giving! y/n: It’s the flower that keeps blooming! Mitsuya: It’s the boat that keeps sailing! Baji: It’s the serial killer that keeps stabbing!

y/n: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do? Chifuyu: Please don’t get arrested. y/n: No promises! <3 Hanma: Why not both? Get creative! y/n: Wonderful suggestion, thank you. Chifuyu: Please don’t encourage them, Hanma.

Baji: *About to do something incredibly stupid* Chifuyu: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

Kazutora, grinning: Before you were what? Baji: Before I was- Kazutora: What? Baji: Before I was inter- Kazutora: Before you were interrupted? Baji: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll- Kazutora: What? Baji: *makes frustrated sound* Chifuyu, nervously: Stop that. Before they hurt you.

*At the police station* y/n: Hi, I’m here for Kazutora. Police officer: Who’s Kazutora? y/n: Ah, you must be new.

y/n: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Chifuyu: What? y/n: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

#incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes x y/n #tokyo revengers incorrect quotes #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers

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cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme · 1 year

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RANDOM INCORRECT QUOTES [Guilty Gear X Reader Edition Pt.1]

Baiken: Pros and cons of dating me. Baiken: Pros. *Looks at the paper Anji and Delilah gave them* Tomboy S/O? What the fuck does that mean? Baiken: *Tosses the paper* Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Baiken: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

Millia: This is such a bad idea. Reader: Then why are you coming along? Millia: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Millia: Reader... Reader: Oh no, My name in B flat. Reader: You're disappointed.

Reader: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Giovana: It's not a joke. Giovana: * sniffles * Giovana: I'm a legit snack.

*The group is getting into the car* Reader: I'm driving. Giovana, out of view: Shotgun! Rei, turning to face Giovana: *BARK* (Translation: Aww! But you had it on the way here-) Everyone except Giovana: WOAH- Giovana, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! * Pumps gun *

Reader: *Stubs their toe* FUCK! Elphelt: Mind your language! Reader: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Elphelt: Reader: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Reader: Is something burning? Elphelt: Just my love for you. Reader: Elphelt, the toaster is on fire.

Reader: Don't stay up all night, Ramlethal. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

Reader, pointing a camera at Ramlethal: There they are, our sweet baby. Ramlethal, holding a Borger and her puppy: What-?

Reader: Oh, fiddlesticks. Bridget: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

Reader: Sorry I'm late I was doing... things.

Bridget, Kicks open the door: Hello I'm things!

Reader: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE

Testament: Anything, honestly, dumbasses especially!

Reader, desperately, as Testament bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Testament: Oh! B positive.

Reader: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Testament: *Sighs*

Reader: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Testament: Oh, I'm always running Testament: The question is from what

Reader: Why would you think any of this was a good idea? I-no: Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Reader: … I-no: I don't know how you keep forgetting this.

Reader: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent? I-no: Go the fuck to sleep Reader: What gif I don't want to? I-no: Fuck You!

Reader: YOU ARE WELCOME TO TRY!!!

#guilty gear x reader #guilty gear #i no guilty gear #baiken #guilty gear giovanna #bridget #testament guilty gear #elphelt valentine #ramlethal valentine #millia rage

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quiveringdeer · 1 year

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so I took a nap with my cat, but since I woke up I haven't been able to get the above observation outta my head. And dunno how to make it into a character post so figured I'd just share here.

This started as a long-winded scene idea I was typing up in dms to @marleysfinest after they commented about reading about Reiner cursing in that silly incorrect quote post I made where Pock pushed him down the stairs--just hit real different. And I couldn't agree more.

But instead of becoming the filthy smut I was originally trying to get at, my weird as fuck brain created this spiral of I don't even know what! It's highly self indulgent self insert as Reader. (I mean isn't that what we all write these as?) Though I did try to curb some of my more ridiculous dialogue options I initially intended to use.

Anywho, before the fluff and silliness have some meta musings:

Definitely see Reiner growing up with his mom being the type that doesn't allow bad language in the house. So he's careful about not cussing. And he definitely does, more so in high school and college when he joins a few sports teams because teen boys and all that jazz. But he tries to even outside of that or just hanging with friends because Gabi's been born and he wants to be a good example and such.

But so I was thinkin about dating Rei and never really noticing that he tends not to curse until finally hearing him curse for one of the first times. And because it's the number one cause for yelling expletives, it happens when you're having movie night at your place. There isn't a lamp near the couch --cause who can afford a lamp in THIS economy! (okay maybe you just moved in and things are still in boxes but you both have a standing date night that moving was not going to interrupt I dunno! I dunno why my brain insists on giving convoluted scenarios that really are unneeded 🙃)--

Reiner x Reader

Anywho, no lamp. So of course you do rock paper scissors to figure out who has to get up from the snuggly warm spots on the couch to go turn off the overhead light and he loses. And after turning off the lights, in a rush to get back to the warm snuggling on the couch, he stubbs his poor bare toes on a sturdy box. "Shit!"

No, like reeeally hard. "SHIT MOTHERFU-!" Perfect. So yes. He stubs his toe so hard it throws off his generally great balance and as he's trying not to land on anything important he falls to the floor with a big thud! "Fuck!"

And the whole thing happens in a number of seconds.

You've launched yourself over to the side of the couch closest to him now. Peering down in the dim light of the DVD Title Menu screen, "Rei, honey you good?"

He's sitting up by this point, groaning and muttering as he squeezes his poor, traumatized toe. "Yeah. 'M good." Casting those warm amber eyes over to you, Reiner tries for a grin but manages more of a grimace as he starts to pick himself up. "Too eager to get back to cuddling you."

Settling back into your previous spot on the couch you notice him not putting his assaulted foot fully on the floor. "Aww, sweet baby."

His large body sinks gingerly onto the sofa beside you. He's not trying to sustain any more injuries just dropping himself heavy onto the cushions like he wants to.

"You sure you're good? Don't think I've ever heard you swear like that before."

Reiner dips his head, masking his face in shadow as he feels his cheeks heat. Not that you could see it in the minimal lighting anyway. "Sorry. Didn't mean to. But yeah. I'm okay." To prove his point he lifts up both his legs and wiggles his toes, back-lit by the TV screen. "All in working order."

A tiny amused huff of air puffs past your lips at the endearing little gesture. "Okay." While patting around the fleece blanket with one hand for the remote, your other arm lifts to rest across his broad shoulders. Your fingers curve around the top of his head, sinking into the soft blond strands as you begin massaging gently. It's an unconscious action at this point. You've argued before that running your fingers through his hair feels just as nice to you as it does for him.

Reiner's neck is tilted back, by the time you finally locate the remote beneath the folds of endless fleece. Eyes closed, completely content to just listen to the movie he's forgotten the title of already.

"Also, you didn't have to apologize. For cursing." He turns his head just slightly to see you looking at him with a fond smile. "I don't mind. I honestly can't believe this is literally the first time I've ever heard you do it. And we've been dating for months."

You settle the remote on your lap and keep your eyes on his face. There's a short silence as you watch Reiner's mouth twitch. His brows pull down slightly like he's sifting for the right words.

"My mom always said it was a vulgar habit. So I grew up making sure I didn't slip up at home or in front of strangers."

You laugh and have to quickly follow it with words when you notice Reiner's face go tense. "Sorry, was just laughing cause I'm happy to know after three months of dating you no longer see me as a stranger."

Immediately Reiner starts to sit up straighter, eyes going wide as he angles his large body toward you. "That's not what I–"

One of your fingers presses to his lips, silencing his rebuttal. The hand that'd been occupied in his hair now lays comfortably on his shoulder. "I know honey. Relax. I'm just teasing."

Grin still present from your earlier laughter, you lean in for a slow, tender kiss that has Reiner melting further toward you. Your foreheads rest together as you part from his lips. You have to bit your bottom lip to seal in another delighted chuckle when your eyes open to see his, closed. Honey blond lashes fanned against his cheeks and pretty, wet lips still slightly puckered for more kisses. It never ceased to charm you how such a large, handsome and objectively intimidating man could simultaneously produce the most adorable mannerisms.

"I hope you can feel comfortable enough to do it more in the future. If the urge strikes. Liiiike another lost battle against a box. Or anything really. Whatever. You don't have to hold any part of yourself back from me, Reiner. Okay?"

His eyes had fluttered open as soon as you began to speak. His head nods a bit. A slight up and down motion you feel more than see, with your foreheads still touching. Reiner's eyes close again as he presses forward for another kiss.

You pull back, increasing the distance between your faces as both your hands move to cup his cheeks. "I mean it."

Finally his mouth quirks up in a smile, "I got it."

"Good." Index fingers from both of your hands twiddle the short hairs just above his ears. "So you get that also means if the urge strikes to curse in a positive way?"

"Positive way?" Rei's brows knit together as he tilts his head just a smidge to the left. "Maybe I don't, got it."

Another short burst of laughter leads your response, "Yeah. Positive way. Like overcome with such positive feelings the only words that can truuuly harness the euphoria are curses."

His head cants further at an angle before things click in place. "Oooh. Really?"

"Mmmhm. Actually, if you wanna be more vocal in general, I'd like that. I love the sound of your moans, but the right words can really hit different."

"Oh. I can try to talk more, if you like that."

"Ideally, you'll like it too."

"Mhm."

You can tell by that short response that he's getting caught up in his head. "Reiner?" Your palms squish in his cheeks gently. "Are you trying to think of what things you'd say?"

"Uh. Maybe. I feel like it'll be awkward. No one's ever asked me to talk more during sex. Didn't know it was a thing, to be honest."

Pulling your hands from his face you mute the TV. The DVD Title Menu music was becoming a bit overestimating for this conversation. With the repetitive sounds silenced you maneuvered your body to more comfortably talk with Rei. One leg tucked up between you both, other still situated over the front of the couch. Soft, fluffy blanket redistributed over both of your lower halves.

Reiner, resettled himself in a more comfy position too. Elbow resting against the back of the couch so he could lean his cheek on his knuckles. It wasn't uncommon for conversations to bloom up and distract you both from previously set plans. While it had been a bit unsettling at first, he really relished them now. He was unused to people asking questions and genuinely wanting to hear his thoughts. Okay, that wasn't entirely true. Bertholdt had always been an active listener. So was Pieck. But they'd known each other since elementary school and were close friends.

Maybe that's what it was. He wasn't used to these kinds of conversations happening so frequently with a romantic partner. None of them had ever been so curious to ask and he'd never gotten around to offering up the information freely. Perhaps that was something he should bring up in his next therapy session.

"Hmm, do you think it's awkward when I talk while we're having sex?"

There's quiet confidence paired alongside genuine curiosity situated in your tone. And while it's been many years since he's been a virgin, this simple straightforward question has the tip of his ears flushing hot.

Reiner forces himself to meet your gaze as he responds, "No. I just figured…I don't know. Just never thought about it."

"Not that anyone should use them as any kind of blueprint for real sex, but is there no dirty talk in the porn you watch? Like, the dudes. Do they not say anything?"

If he'd been eating or drinking, he would've certainly choked. Mark this down for another topic he's never discussed with a partner before. "Uh, no? Maybe? Like you said, I don't really watch to pick up tips or tricks." Okay. Maybe that wasn't fully the truth. Some videos had certainly sparked fantasies he's put into motion once or twice.

"Okay, fair." Lifting up the blanket, you move the leg you've had extended over the front of the couch, across Reiner's lap. "Hmm…We'll have to find you more memorable porn, babe."

You snort out a laugh and the sounds eases the tension of embarrassment coiling in his gut. His free arm slips beneath the blanket to hug your leg close to his body. The heat from his palm is distinct as he smooths his hand up and down the outward side of your leg. "You've got to be the first girl I've ever met that wants their boyfriend to watch more porn."

"I'm most definitely not. You just haven't reached that stage of information security clearance with other women yet. And I'll have you know, I was implying you need to watch better porn, not necessarily, more." A giant grin stretches across your face after putting on a mockingly serious voice for that last sentence. Obviously, you're in a very playful mood tonight and the energy is infectious.

"Ah. Forgive me, that's a very important difference right there."

"Damn right it is!"

Reiner can't help but shake his head at the ridiculous exclamation even has laughter rumbles out through his lips.

#was gonna keep this in my hoogle docs #but i just spent over two hrs on this probs so its getting jetted into the internet ether #hopefully it's entertaining for others #and you can donate some comments of your thoughts below? 👉🏽👈🏽#reiner x reader #nat writes #aot x reader #aot meta #reiner braun #there is so much conjecture in the top meta rambling #but it's for my plot so meh #there also coulda been more but again this wasnt even supposed to be all this #and my brain is tired 🥲

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incorrectmarvelquotesss · 1 year

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Welcome to my 1000 followers celebration! I don't even know how so many of you decided to follow me and give me support throughout these few past years. This is crazy enough as it is but honestly can't get my head down from the clouds sometimes. This blog has become one of my safe places, even though sometimes there are things I wish I hadn't seen, and all of you make it that way. I don't know how many of the thousand still interact with my blog and how many are just there, but I really do appreciate every single one of you. If I could I would message every blog following me.

I wanted to do something a bit more “me” I guess. Seeing that this blog started just for incorrect marvel quotes (literally in the name) I decided that you should be able to make your drabbles/oneshots/series based on an incorrect quote that I have posted. I thought it would be fun, but I did give the option of regular prompts and some fun AUs are listed below as well. Most prompts and AUs have been found on Pinterest.

If you don’t want to participate, please consider reblogging! It might give others a chance to maybe escape their writer’s block as writing challenges have often done for me!

Rules:

Send me an ask or message with which incorrect quote/prompt you are using. Please make sure to add it at the beginning or bold it.

If you are not participating, can you please reblog for signal boost? I would really appreciate it.

You can pick an MCU character. You can also do any MCU ships, but no incest like Th*rki or St*rker.

Use any of the incorrect quotes or prompts written below

Two people per prompt/incorrect quote

Three prompts per person and one incorrect quote per person

AUs are completely optional (but definitely encouraged)

It can be a drabble, oneshot, or series

Warnings must be given properly. Any warnings that you may have missed, I will let you know and please do add it. In addition to this, I will not be accepting any dark!fics and/or any rape or anything of the sort. If you want to run something by me, by all means go ahead.

Deadline: October 14th, 2024

Lastly, please tag me @incorrectmarvelquotesss and add the tag #loveys1kcelebration

Incorrect Quotes

“When you close both of your eyes, you see darkness, but when you close one you see nothing.” / *closes one eye before reopening it* / “Did you just wink at me, you big flirt?”

“This is my life now. I have climbed this hill am now I shall die upon it.” / “Shut up. We’ve only been hiking for twenty minutes.”

“Why are you still here?” / “Because I care about you, you asshole.” (@nekoannie-chan)

“You can’t love someone unless you love yourself first.” / “Bullshit. I have never loved myself, but you? Oh god, I love you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.”

“So, what do ya think? Good idea, right?” / “Whatever floats your titanic.” / “The titanic sank.” / “Yeah, just like your IQ did when you came up with that idea.”

“I’m so hot.” / “Yeah, you—” / *moves to stand in front of the fan* / “—I mean, yeah. It’s hot in here.”

“Stop doing that.” / “Doing what?” / “Saying things that make me want to kiss the hell outta you.”

“You’re so hot.“ / “Okay?” / “I’m falling for you and so is my zipper.”

“Where are you going?” / “Hell, most likely.”

“Stop yelling at me or I swear to god I’m gonna fall in love with you!” / *starts yelling louder* or *stops yelling*

Other Prompts

“Lean on me.” / “For support?” / “Yeah, why else?” (@marvellingdaydreams)

“Stay with me. Don’t close your eyes.”

“There’s a bullet in you. You got shot. I can see it.” / “I can feel it.”

“I want you to come if you can.”

“Stay away from her/him/they. She’s/He’s/They’re mine.”

“Stop glaring, sweet cheeks. I know you want me.”

“I hate that you’re so mad at me, but you look so hot right now.”

“Just date already! Even the cat/dog want you to date at this point.”

“Half of this city wants you dead.” / “Wow. A month ago, the whole city wanted me dead. Things are looking up.” (@nekoannie-chan)

“You’re drunk.” / “I’m still sober enough to kill you darling, so don’t push your luck.”

AUs (optional)

“You’re overdue on this book and I really want it so I’m tracking you down” AU

“When you told me your name I thought you were joking so I made a joke and started laughing before I realized it really was your name and now we’re stuck in awkward silence while I figure out how to apologize” AU

“You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you think I’m cute” AU

“I was just getting my laundry done but then I saw you putting in what seemed like a bunch of clothes stained in blood so now I’m kind of terrified of you” AU

“Our pets banged and now mine is expecting so I should probably get to know your name and figure out what we’re doing because this isn’t cheap” AU

— masterlist —

Different Escape Plan - Steve Rogers By @nekoannie-chan

Things Are Looking Up - Brock Rumlow By @nekoannie-chan

#mcu challenge #mcu x reader #mcu writing challenge #writing challenge #marvel cinematic universe #marvel writing challenge #writing inspiration #mcu ships #mcu au #incorrect marvel quotes #mcu marvel #marvel #avengers #marvel mcu #mcu character #mcu #mcu fanfics

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seamandtcaskblog · 4 months

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While I wait for asks, here are some incorrect quotes!

Seam: I never understood why people cared so much about their dumb friends until I got a dumb friend myself. Seam: *Picks up Tree-Cat* Seam: I’ve only befriended Tree-Cat for a day and a half, but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then my self. Tree-Cat: What's this? Seam, hugging Tree-Cat: Affection! Tree-Cat: Disgusting. Tree-Cat: …Do it again. Tree-Cat: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog". Seam: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this? Seam: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail. Tree-Cat: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call the police station. Seam: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper? Seam: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Tree. Tree-Cat: A banker? Me? Seam: Yes, Tree. Tree-Cat: But I don’t know anything about running a bank! Seam: Good. No preconceived ideas. Tree-Cat: I’ve robbed banks! Seam: Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the inside. Tree-Cat: This is Seam, they’re… not my assistant, some other word. Seam: I’m their carer. Tree-Cat: Yeah, my carer. They care so I don’t have to. Tree-Cat: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? Seam: …What??? Seam: Why would you think any of this was a good idea? Tree-Cat: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Seam: Tree-Cat: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this. Tree-Cat: When I first got my ADHD diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Seam made me get tested. *Seam and Tree-Cat looking at a locked gate into a park* Seam: Aw. :( Tree-Cat: You know what they say. Seam: Please don’t- Tree-Cat: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate* Seam: Frick-Seam: *looks over Tree-Cat’s shoulder at their laptop* What the fuck? Tree-Cat: *slams screen shut* It’s just research! For something I’m writing about! I swear that’s it! Seam: Why the hell would that involve the breeding habits of frogs? Tree-Cat: It’s not just “frogs”, it’s the Surinam Toad. And it’s not “breeding habits”, it’s how they raise their young. This is important information my audience needs to know! Seam: That doesn’t change the fact this is for one line in a fanfiction. Tree-Cat, offendedly: You don’t know that! Seam: I hear no denial. Seam: You know what’s funny about Tree-Cat? They’re my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt them is someone I’d murder, probably. Tree-Cat: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life. Seam: Please never become a surgeon. Tree-Cat: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer. Seam: Tree-Cat: Seam: …Please, go back to bed.

Generator I used here

#incorrect quotes #deltarune #seam deltarune #seam #deltarune oc

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ryuzakemo128 · 2 years

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Incorrect Quotes - Peaky Blinders ( Part Five)

(Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten )

(Divider by this person here )

Aberama: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. Thomas: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. Red: A realist sees a freight train. Alfie: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

———————————————————————————–

Aberama: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. Alfie: You are my reward. *meanwhile* Red: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. Thomas: True, you can be really difficult at times.

———————————————————————————–

Aberama: You guys worried about Alfie? Red: Totally! Thomas: Yeah, they called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?" Aberama: And what'd you say? Thomas: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno." Red:

Aberama: He's lucky to have you as a friend.

———————————————————————————–

Thomas: Who wants to go out of the country on a road trip? Alfie: Yea, I could drink legally! Red: I could hang out with the boys! Aberama: I could hide from the consequences of my actions.

———————————————————————————–

*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy* Thomas: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing? Red: No, Thomas. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs. Thomas: No, that’s not part of it— Red: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there? Aberama: I would want to live with no legs. Red: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Person C. You don’t do anything. Thomas: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him. *Red pumps frantically* Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute. Red: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour? Alfie: How’s that gonna help you? Red: I will divide and then count to it. Alfie: Right. Thomas: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song? Red: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

———————————————————————————–

Thomas: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Red: When have I been paranoid? Thomas: Um, when you first met Aberama you thought he was an undercover cop…? Red: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Thomas: And last year you were sure Alfie was a mermaid! Red: He hated wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! *Later, when Red’s theory is proven wrong* Thomas: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Red: I still think Alfie is a mermaid.

———————————————————————————–

*The squad is playing a team sport* Red: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Alfie? Aberama: Have you ever played a game with Alfie? Red: No… Alfie: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine? *Meanwhile, on the other side of the field* Alfie, chasing Thomas: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!

———————————————————————————–

Thomas: Everyone synchronize your watches. Red: I don't know how to do that. Alfie: I don't wear a watch. Aberama: Time is a construct.

———————————————————————————–

Thomas: It’s time to turn this into a real business. Red: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes? Aberama: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes? Alfie: I handle our accounting.

———————————————————————————–

Alfie: ARE YOU- Aberama: Fucking. Alfie: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Aberama: Fucking. Alfie: IDIOT! Red: …What was that? Aberama: Thomas banned Alfie from swearing, so I’m helping him out.

———————————————————————————–

Red: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? Aberama: *crouches down* Thomas: *kneels down* Alfie: *sits on the floor* Red:

Red: I hate all of you.

———————————————————————————–

Aberama: My stomach growled super loud in French. Aberama: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. Alfie: Bonjour. Thomas: Le growl. Red: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

———————————————————————————–

Red: What does “take out” mean? Thomas: Food. Aberama: Dating. Alfie: Murder. Arthur: It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

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Aberama: Who the fuck broke the toaster? Red: It was Alfie. Arthur: It was Alfie. Thomas: Alfie broke it. Alfie:

Alfie: …YOU PROMISED-

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Arthur: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Alfie: 'Prettiest Smile' Aberama: 'Nicest Personality' Thomas: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Red: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

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Arthur: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Alfie: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Thomas: Three of us saw it, Alfie. How do you explain that? Alfie: *points at Red* Sleep deprivation. *points at Thomas* Paranoia. *points at Aberama* Delusional personality disorder.

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Red: What’s something you guys are better than Thomas at? Arthur: Mario Kart. Aberama: Yeah, video games. Alfie: Emotional vulnerability.

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Aberama: Arthur's first detention, I'm so proud. Red: Whoa, back up. Why did he get detention? Alfie: Because he's an idiot. Thomas, terrified: They can do that??

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*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered* Thomas: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer? Alfie: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine. Red: What about Arthur? Nobody ever suspects Arthur! Arthur: Well what about Aberama? They have a gun! Aberama: Thomas has a knife. Thomas: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Red in the arm*

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Alfie: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be? Red: Maybe a bit tipsy? Thomas: Drunk. Arthur: Wasted. Aberama: Dead.

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Arthur: What's the worst thing you guys have done? Alfie: Rickrolled my teacher in 4th grade. Thomas: I kicked Aberama in the shin- Aberama: -So I kicked Thomas between the legs. Red: I burned a town down. Arthur: What?! Aberama: What the hell is wrong with you?!? Red: A lot of things. Thomas: No shit.

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Red: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK. Thomas: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG. Red: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO. Arthur: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins. Alfie: Looks like someone's a HO. Thomas: NaBrO. Aberama: I'm done with all of you!

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Arthur: How do you connect with a fictional character? Aberama: What? Alfie: What? Thomas: What? Red: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm so glad you asked.

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Aberama: You're a lying piece of shit! Red: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Thomas: I'm leaving and I'm taking Alfie with me! Arthur, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

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Alfie: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses. Red: This knife is actually a magic wand. Aberama: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel. Thomas: *cocks gun* Magic missile. Arthur: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

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Alfie: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to- Alfie: *sees Red shoving Arthur into the washing machine while Aberama records and Thomas watches* Alfie: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

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Red: Okay! Let’s play Kiss Marry Kill! Red: First who would you kill? *Aberama points at Alfie* *Thomas points at Alfie* *Arthur points at Alfie* Alfie: *shrugs* I would kill me too.

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The Squad: *walking at the mall* Aberama: Hey, have any of you guys seen Arthur? He's been gone for a while.. Red: Eh, nope. Alfie: No, I haven’t... Thomas: Probably ran off to McDonald’s or something. Arthur: Hey. Aberama: Ooh, there you are- Red: What the fu- Thomas: I- where were you?! Arthur: Walking right behind you guys.

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Alfie: Are we really going to let Thomas keep Aberama? Arthur: We kept Red.

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Alfie: Guys… the principal just called— Thomas: It was Aberama! Aberama: It was Arthur! Arthur: It was Red! Red: It was me!

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Red: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends. Alfie: ... Your what? Red: My friends. Arthur: Are they saying “friends”? Thomas: I think they're being sarcastic. Aberama: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Red! All of your friends are in this room.

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Thomas: Anyone d- Arthur: Depressed? Aberama: Drained? Red: Dumb? Alfie: Disliked? Thomas: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

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Arthur: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange? Red: Which came first, the orange or the orange? Alfie: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago. Aberama: What was the color called before then? Thomas: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

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Aberama: You're just jealous. All my friends tell me I remind them of Arthur. The Squad: *screaming* Alfie: She looks like Arthur? Are you out of your fucking MIND? Thomas: Arthur, sweetie, I am SO sorry. I am SO SORRY that an ugly-ass bitch like this would even say that. Oh my god. Alfie: Arthur? Arthur? Arthur? You know who you fucking look like? You fucking look like Red!

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Arthur: You know what I learned from my friendship with Thomas? Alfie: There’s no such thing as too mean? Aberama: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them? Red: Always hold a grudge?

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Red: Plants have feelings too?! What is this? Now I can't have food! Arthur: You can eat a rock. Aberama: Air. Alfie: The fabric of time and space. Thomas: Chugging a bottle of bleach can solve all your problems. Red: You guys are not helpful.

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Thomas: Where’s Arthur? Alfie: Doing stuff. Thomas: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Aberama? Alfie: Trying to stop Arthur from doing the stuff. Thomas: And Red? Alfie: Trying to stop Aberama from stopping Arthur from doing the stuff. Thomas: I see. And what are you doing here, Alfie? Alfie: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Red from stopping Aberama from stopping Arthur from doing the stuff.

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Aberama: Thomas's refusing to wear their glasses! Thomas: Aberama, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch. Thomas: *points to Red* Red. Thomas: *points to Arthur* Arthur. Thomas: *points to Alfie* Sasquatch.

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Thomas: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff. Aberama: I witnessed the dumb stuff. Arthur: I recorded the dumb stuff. Red: I joined you in the dumb stuff. Alfie: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

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Aberama: You three, explain right now! Red: It was Thomas. Alfie: It was Thomas. Arthur: It was Thomas. Thomas:Thomas: …fuck.

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Arthur: Did you bring Red? Aberama, gesturing to Alfie: No, but I brought the next best thing. Arthur: Alfie? The next best thing would be Thomas. Alfie: I would be offended, but Thomas is freakishly strong.

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*The gang's thoughts on stabbing* Alfie: Would never stab anyone. Thomas: Would stab someone in retaliation. Red: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first. Aberama: Would stab without warning. Arthur: Would stab as a warning.

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Aberama: Thomas is a strings kid. We must sacrifice them to the band gods. Alfie: Yes. Red: You're right. It'd be a good initiation for me. Thomas: Wait, guys, what about the truce we signed- Alfie: What truce? Aberama: *sigh* The truce that we must destroy all the choir kids and leave the strings alone. Arthur: Wait, I'm a choir kid! Everyone else: *prepares for sacrifice*

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Red: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? Thomas: Schrödinger's boys. Arthur: FUCK! Aberama: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Alfie: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Alfie: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Red: ... Thomas: ... Arthur: ... Aberama: ... Alfie: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

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Red: I'm going to be an adult in 4 years and I only have a vague idea of what I'm going to do. Alfie: I’m gonna be an adult in less than a year and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. Thomas: I'm with you there... Aberama: I'm an adult and I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Arthur: Three types of people.

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Alfie: Uh, Red? Arthur is in the pool and I don't think they're waterproof. Red: What? Thomas: I think they meant, Arthur is drowning. Red: WHAT?! *Meanwhile* Arthur: *is drowning* Aberama: OH MY GOD, ARTHUR! KEEP SWIMMING! Arthur: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks* Aberama: ARTHUR!

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Aberama: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Thomas will and will not eat. Alfie: Grass? Yes! Aberama: Moss? Yes!! Alfie: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Aberama: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Alfie: Worms? Sometimes! Aberama: Rocks? Usually nah. Alfie: Twigs? Usually! Aberama: Arthur's cooking? Inconclusive! Red: How did you… test this? Aberama: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it. Red: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Arthur: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

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*Everyone is giving advice to Aberama* Thomas: It's okay to ask for help. Red: You're not a burden. Arthur: Murder is okay. Alfie: Your feelings matter.

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Red: What do you do when someone offers you drugs? Aberama: Take them! Arthur: Punch them in the neck! Thomas: Say thank you! Alfie: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance! Red: … Red: No.

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Arthur: Red is late again. Aberama: How did this happen? I called them at 8 o’clock this morning and pretended it was 11. Alfie: I printed up a fake schedule for them saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon. Thomas: I set their clock to say PM when it’s really AM. Arthur: Oh boy. We may have overdone it. *Red bursts through the door* Red: WHAT TIME IS IT?

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Arthur: Good morning. Alfie: Good morning. Aberama: Good morning. Thomas: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Red: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

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