#i should mention that i don't drink anymore and i think that's best for everyone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eydi-andrius · 10 months

Text

Cruel Existence (Gojo Satoru x Reader)

summary: Gojo broke up with you a week ago. Trying to forget him, you invited your friends to a night out. It was fun while it lasted, until you realized that you never went home to your own place. In fact, you were sleeping soundly on his bed.

cw/tw: angst, hurt, pain, mentions of break up, regret, mentions of drinking until one passes out (please don't do this), trespassing

a/n: this was fun to write. I hope you like it. Again, as much as I appreciate likes, comments and reblogs motivates me better. Thank you!

🐈

It is wild how the stranger you once met becomes the most important person in your life.

Then for one day, life decided to make that person a stranger again.

Some may argue that no, they're not strangers anymore.

However if you think about it, a person who isn't in your life is nothing but a mere stranger.

His memories may be there, and it must have been your greatest treasure. Yet, it doesn't erase the fact that it wasn't them anymore.

Each day, the knife twists deeper, sharper and deadlier the more you think about the what ifs and the whatnots.

It's like a deadly poison slivering inside your vein. Memories turn lethal and invasive. You begged for them to just stop and let you breathe.

You prayed every night for it to be over. As you close your eyes, you wish that the morning will make you feel renewed and the person you once were.

How cruel life can be when all you wanted was to be loved.

Gojo had found you first. Maybe that explains a lot why he ended it in the first place.

"Look at this girl. She called us to drink her sorrows away but she was just holding her beer and staring from afar." Iori called you out. Then, rolled her eyes in annoyance. You gave her a chuckle and muttered an apology.

If she did not call your name, you will probably think about what you did wrong and why he ended your relationship that way. He looks tired, fed up when you ask why. He wasn't the same Satoru to whom you knew. It was true that he could be cold-hearted at times but he never acted that way towards you.

That should have been a red flag but that action had made a swarm of butterflies in your stomach. You almost thought you were special.

You bit your lips as you felt another tear wanting to come out and spill your pain in front of your friends again. Shaking your head and blinking your eyes, you tried your best to stop it.

You called and invited them to forget him. It has been a week. It shouldn't bother you as much anymore. He probably had been enjoying his single life. The pain of being pursued and being rejected after achieving your goal was something you had been trying your best not to overthink about. It might be true, but it wasn't healthy to soak through the scenarios and what ifs you knew nothing about.

It will just kill you inside and there will be no reprieve for it.

Attention and awareness finally came back to what you were doing, and so you looked around. The bar was loud. Blinking lights and the alcohol were giving everyone a false sense of confidence as they danced and socialized on the crowded dance floor. Everyone looked like they were having fun. Now, you kinda felt bad that your friends were just sitting inside the private booth with you. Especially, when all of these independent ladies had been through a tough week doing their work. You felt bad wasting their time to watch you mopping and crying over a man they already told you to be wary about.

"I know what you were thinking. And no, I'd rather sit here and join you into drinking your heart out than be with those strangers. Drink up!" Mei mei raised her eyebrows and tapped your pint. She's always so impressive at reading people. Sometimes you wonder if you had said your thoughts aloud with how accurate her words were, at times.

Heart filled with warmth, with how loving your friends were, you stood up and hugged them all. Shoko who remained quiet and sitted patted your back in reassurance after returning your big hug.

It was probably harder for her to hear what happened. She was close to Gojo. You just hoped she wouldn't be planning his murder though. She may be quiet but when angry, she can be more intense than these two.

Anyway, enough thinking about your ex-boyfriend now! These hot ladies gave you their precious free time so might as well use it wisely and to full extent.

You basically had dragged the three in the middle of the dance floor and showed them your moves, which was nonexistent, so you earned a mocking and hysterical laughter from them. Yet, it did not take long for them to follow suit and even challenge you to a dance battle.

The night was filled with laughter, and for once, during that grueling week, you forgot why you were crying and had to lie about your puffy eyes.

🐈

The pain in your head was intolerable. You had been awake for quite some time now but you cannot even lift your eyelids on how painful it was. You groaned. You moaned. You breathed in and out to make it better but the beating of the unbearable pain seems to get worse.

Well, it was true what they said, it had been fun while it lasted.

Last night was a blast. No one can stop the four of you as you claimed the stage and did your greatest night out. You felt the rush of freedom and so you did not stop taking shots after shots. The consequences were pushed back in the deepest part of your brain. And for once, you let your wild side out in public.

You were probably so wasted but at least managed to get home safe. The proof was the soft mattress of your bed. Your fresh sheet enveloping your exhausted body to a warm embrace while the air conditioner blows the perfect amount of cold. This atmosphere should have pulled you back to sleep, if it weren't for this godforsaken headache. Gosh, you wanted so bad to go back to sleep. But you are in pain, needing to pee and calm your growling hunger. You can even feel the vile gastric threatening to come up due to your empty stomach.

"How long do you plan to sleep on my bed?"

Familiar voice had spoken close to you and your body reacted way too fast. You sat up and opened your eyes. Leaning on the doorway was your ex-boyfriend Gojo Satoru. His blue eyes are neutral but his face says he was pissed.

His hair was damp. Droplets were even falling from it but he wore a white towel around his neck to prevent it from cascading further down to his body. He was half naked, only wearing an untied sweats that was hanging way too low for your comfort. Normally, you would say he was hot. But that was not the most important thing right now.

"What do you think you are doing inside my room-!?" In surprise, you yelled but were met by your very hoarse voice. You even ended up violently coughing and wheezing with how dry your throat was. It was as if you did a 24 hour karaoke with your friends or you competed at a screaming contest.

"Maybe before you groaned and moaned to someone else's bed, make sure you were actually on your bed." He tuts and moves towards where you were sitting. You felt a cold metal placed on your forehead and you sighed in relief. Even though it gave you a quick relief, it only happened for a second.

The pain, forgotten for a moment of shock, was now back twice ruthless. Your head was swimming in pain and you felt lightheaded. You left out a loud burp and you felt the hand, holding the can on your forehead, maneuvered fast to pick up the bucket placed methodically on his bedside. The respect you had for this man for preparing this much so he would be able to stop you if you plan to puke all over his place as revenge.

You wretched as if there was no tomorrow. All contents from last night probably had been vomited earlier because you felt only the acid of vile as it pushes whatever was still left inside of you. Heaving, you accepted the water he provided and gargled the last remaining content of puke in your mouth. You cleaned up using the back of your hand and leaned at the nearby chair while you were still sitting on his bed.

This is probably your year's nightmare. Drinking a lot for the first time, losing your friends by walking to someone else's house and worse, sleeping on your ex's bed and thinking it was so comfortable and homey earlier.

While you were thinking and regretting what you had done, you heard the scraping of the table being pulled closer to where you sat. His presence near you again. The clang of utensils, the sound of the lid being opened and plastic wrappers being crumpled and thrown had almost lull you to sleep when you felt a soft tap of his familiar hand on your shoulder.

With a blink, you straightened up and looked at the store bought food, placed in front of you.

It was cup noodles, a bottle of water and ibuprofen, placed on the side. The cold can of coffee just above it.

"Eat up or you will feel shittier than you are right now." He said more like an order and just stood in front of you with arms crossed.

You gulped and tried your best to eat but your hair kept on falling down and dipping on the cup noodles. You were already aware that you smelled like vomit, who could even imagine you can also smell like cup noodles. With a groan of frustration, you collected your hair on the side and was about to eat again when you felt his hand run through your hair.

He mumbled a soft "Let me." and with practiced moves, he was able to tie your hair with a hair tie. He used to do this a lot when you decided not to cut your hair shorter so you can donate it. He was so sweet and attentive when you were still together and this action of concern was not helping your case.

You sat and ate in silence while he stood there for a while and decided it was too awkward and he left you alone. He closed the door as softly as he could. Once you were sure he was gone, you gave out an empty scream and slapped your face multiple times. The pain, embarrassment, and anger were all mixed up as you felt it rise within you.

With a frustrated groan, you bite your lip and pray that this nightmare was all a dream. But you know better. Eyes staring at the familiar ceiling, you sighed. The room is engulfed with quiet except for your ragged breathing, indiciating, how sick you are.

The silence did not last long when you remembered your phone and frantically looked for it. You saw it placed properly on the nearby stool and almost cried when you saw the numerous texts and calls from your friends. Ranging from the early hours of the day and right now, it was asking for the same thing; where were you? or are you okay?.

Nervous, you tried your best to reply even with shaking hands and once you hit send, they immediately saw it and called.

The call was filled with screams of terror and relief that you were okay. But once they calmed down, you were able to talk to them properly. They even answered the gnawing question you had been wondering about when you saw Gojo in front you.

Around 3 am, you four had decided to book a room in a nearby hotel, instead of getting a cab and going home. You all were too wasted to even trust yourselves that you can all recall how to go home.

They never remember much after that but they were sure you were the first one to sleep on the bed. But later, after around 5 or 6, Iori woke up and saw you weren't there. They were filled with panic and terror because there is no way you can stand up after having that short sleep and being too drunk.

They tried to rationalize that maybe you did go home and tried to call you. But when you were still not picking up, they almost trashed the hotel room. Luckily, the cleaning lady was kind enough. When she saw their panicked and disheveled appearance, she asked the security to check if you left the hotel in one piece. It turns out, she had seen you four together and was also worried that something happened to you too.

They had seen you walking out of the room and through the lobby, up to the entrance. You obviously looked still drunk as you tried to wobble and walk straight ahead, outside of the hotel.

Since then, they have been blowing your phone with texts and calls. They could hear it ringing so they suspected that maybe you accidentally turned it to silent mode or you were kidnapped.

Grateful, you reassured them that you were fine. You made up a story that you booked a new hotel room, in another hotel, probably because you were drunk. Currently, you informed them that you were staying in that room and having breakfast. You reasoned out that you were not able to answer their calls and texts because you can barely open your eyes. It uproared another wave of panic but you told them firmly that you were fine and will call them once you take care of your too drunk ass. To stop them from asking further, you hung up the phone with an excuse that your battery was dying out.

There is no way that you will share to them that your drunk ass went to your ex's huge condominium and you thought as you woke that it was yours. You had been staying and visiting this place that your body immediately thought of this place as your other home.

After finishing your meal, and feeling the medicine taking effect. You psych yourself up to face the inevitable. There is no way you can just walk out of this place without confronting him about what you did and what he had to witness.

You walk to the restroom and try your best to look presentable and not a crazy person.

Once done, you slowly crept towards the door and opened it ajar, you scanned the place and looked for him. He was wearing a black fitted plain shirt, as he sat on the couch, sipping a cup of coffee as he typed something on his laptop. Probably, for work.

You walked slowly towards him and coughed to get his attention. His piercing blue eyes stared back at you, as he removed his glasses and closed his laptop. He grumbled and again, crossed his arms to his chest. His lips were abit pouted and the creases on his head showed a frown.

"I'm really sorry for trespassing. I promise I will never drink that hard again." You promised and even did a pinky swear in front of him. He looked unamused though as he replied with a doubtful "hmmm" and still had the same frowning face.

"Do you remember what you did then?" He asked.

"To be honest, no. I only remember being in a hotel with the girls and sleeping. I don't really remember much about what I did." You gulped when you saw him raised his eyebrow and sighed.

"See those keys?" He pointed at the keys placed on a bowl. "You used that to enter my condo. They were my spare keys that were still hidden in the same place. You were so drunk that you thought you went back home and even slept beside me. I thought I was sleeping with my pillow the whole morning, so imagine my surprise when that pillow turned out to be you." He shared with a firm voice, as if he even cannot fathom what happened.

However, something's amiss with that story.

"No way! Don't lie to me. I agree that I may have done the trespassing but sleeping beside you? Nahhhhhhh! I doubt that. Remember, you're a light sleeper! There is no way I can sneak up on you and sleep." It was now your time to raise your eyebrow and cross your arms at him. You even sounded smug for someone who owed him big time.

You do not believe that other accusation at all. That is so unbelievable and he was probably messing with you so you will feel guiltier from entering his home without permission.

"My new doctor prescribed effective sleeping pills for insomnia this time. I have been sleeping better and on time ever since. I never felt any movement at all." He smirked. And you know, you lose. Gojo never lied about these things and you also knew that he was struggling to sleep.

So if this was true, then for the whole morning, you were sleeping together!?

Who would even do that with her ex? Oh god you are stupid!

His smug look had made you feel ashamed even more and you know that you're red as a tomato. You feel hot all over and even at the end of your ears.

Let's end this humiliation and be done with this asap!

"I- Thank you for taking care of me. I owe you one. I'm so sorry again and will promise not to drink again and disturb you. Again, I am so sorry." With a deep bow, you sincerely apologize and you just hear him say "look up."

"It's alright. I'm glad your safe. Hangover but safe. " He taunted and you just wanted to slap that smirk out of his face. He was obviously implying how humiliating your shenanigans were. And they were, but he doesn't have the right to judge.

"Well then, if there's nothing more, I'll go back to the hotel and meet my friends." A bow again and you were on your way out.

You blinked when he slapped his hands on his thighs before he stood up and used his head to tell you to go first.

You frowned a bit in confusion but followed regardless.

This whole interaction was so awkward but familiar. He does this a lot whenever you visit his home. He usually drives you back home or if he can't, he will see you out to the entrance.

The elevator did not come sooner, however. It was creating unnecessary drama and tension between you two. As you just stood there, holding your bag for dear life. You hugged it for comfort and distraction on this growing awkwardness by standing near him. He looks fit. You imagine running your hands over him again. It was more tempting now than before.

"Please take care of yourself." You heard him speak first, breaking the ice. Your head whipped so fast in his direction when you heard his voice break a little when he said that. But when you looked at him, he titled his head to the side, confused at your action. Maybe you imagined it.

Embarrassed, you used the ping of the elevator as an excuse, thank god, and immediately rode the lift.

He was standing there on the other side, he was staring at you. It feels like someone was looking into your soul. You cannot help but feel vulnerable and open in front of his eyes. He looks solemn, calm.

If you stop me, I will forgive you and run back to your loving arms.

It was too late before you realized that you opened your mouth to speak and called his name.

"Satoru." His first name rang smoothly on your mouth. It feels comfortable and your heart twinged in pain when you realized that it may be the last time you will ever see him.

As the door closes slowly, you have seen his mouth move from your peripheral and he uttered your name softly, like how you say the name of the ones you treasured the most.

You do not know if you were just seeing things but his eyes look emotional, somewhat sad for a second. Before the elevator door finally closes and your name echoed when he said it.

"Y/N."

There were no tears as the lift started going down. You expected that seeing him one last time, you will feel the pain worse than before. Yet, that did not happen.

Staring at your reflection, your eyes look tired. The way those eyes bore at you speaks volume on how your soul truly feels about this.

You had a moment of acceptance when the doors closed in between you two.

A new chapter of your lives will arise. He will have his own world without you. He will be happy. He will be truly madly deeply in love with someone else.

And now, the hurt and pain became numb and cold.

Just imagining that he would love someone much greater than what he had given you was soul crushing to the point of rude awakening.

During those times, you will be happy for him. But you wish, as selfish as it sounds, that he will not be as happy when you were still together.

🐈

Gojo doesn't need to get up to know it was you who entered his condo without notice. He was a bit concerned that you kept on stumbling around and cussing his furniture out that managed to trip you, even though it was clearly your fault.

When he felt the bed dipped and your arms automatically hugging him from behind, it made him a bit nervous. He has to pretend to be asleep or else…….or else what? He never knew.

You smell like alcohol and you're even slurring your words. He never saw you this drunk before. In fact, you never liked alcohol. You have a terrible experience of living with an alcoholic, so a mere smell of alcohol repulses you. He never expected to see you drunk and barely kept together.

He was about to confront you, when he felt your arms tighten around him and your breath tickling his back when you said, "I'm home." with a sigh of relief before passing out.

Gojo had never felt more at peace hearing those words coming from your mouth.

🐈

When he woke up, he was just staring at you. He never had any proper sleep since the break up but knowing you were beside him, he was able to sleep well.

Maybe something inside him had been comforted when you said you were home. It actually warms his heart that you felt at home beside him.

He sat up and, a twang of pain rushed inside his chest. He shakes his hair in annoyance using his right hand.

He doesn't have the right to be sad about it when he was the one who broke it up with you.

Gojo never really knew why he did it in the first place. Sure, his family never approved of you but he never really cared about their opinion. He actually wishes for his old folks to die soon so he doesn't have to pretend that he cares about their words. He grew up without them being around.

Or maybe it was because he felt insecure that someone as kind and loving as you chose him. You were so different to the people he usually surrounds himself around but you were warm and he felt safe around you.

With a frustrated groan, Gojo stood up and was about to walk towards the door when he thought of an idea.

He slowly walked towards where you were asleep, bent down and whispered, "Welcome home." before kissing your forehead.

For the first time, after a week of him trying to justify that he made the right choice, making Nanami, his friend, worry that he was working too much, he felt at peace and happy.

Just for a moment, he wanted to pretend that he did not let you go for something so stupid and you were actually home with him.

2K notes · View notes

hjparisian · 3 months

Text

mistletoe or mistlefoe- theodore nott x reader

p: theodore nott x fem!slytherin!reader s: after seeing her best friend pine after a certain slytherin boy, pansy decided she would take matters into her own hands w: fluffy, slight drinking mention a/n: i know its not the holidays anymore but i wanted to write for theo soo oh well

Theodore and (Y/N) were returning from the kitchens, with food piled in their hands.

Pansy had thought it would be a great idea to have a small party for the start of the break, seeing as most of her friends were staying at Hogwarts during this time.

While she and Daphne were commanding the boys to get the common room more festive for the holidays, she sent her best friend and Theodore to ask the house elves for food for the get together.

Pansy knew of (Y/N)'s crush on the quiet Slytherin boy, so what better way to bring the two together than having them run an errand by themselves?

When Pansy told the two their job, (Y/N) saw the smug look on her face, knowing what she was trying to do. Little did she know, that was not the only trick up Pansy's sleeve.

The walk back to the common room was quiet, the sound of their footsteps filling the halls.

Until Theodore broke the silence.

"How come you stayed?"

"My father had matters to attend at the ministry and my mother is visiting family in France," (Y/N) replied. "What about you?"

"I didn't want to deal with my father right now."

(Y/N) just nodded. She knew how harsh Theodore's father is towards him, especially since his mother passed away.

"Well, at least you have us," (Y/N) said to him.

"Yeah. But unfortunately I have to deal with Mattheo's snoring," the boy said, smiling a bit.

"Really," (Y/N) asks, chuckling a bit.

Theodore nodded. "Threatened to use the silencing charm on him."

At that point, they made it to the entrance of the common room. Theodore uttered the password, letting the two of them enter.

Pansy was the first to notice the twos arrival, smirking a little.

"Welcome back you two, got what we need?"

"We did," (Y/N) assured her.

"Good, now we can get started."

The group began grabbing from the pile of food that (Y/N) and Theodore brought. Everyone was enjoying it. But of course, Pansy was trying to figure out how to set something in motion.

Mattheo tapped on the girl's shoulder, bringing her out of her thoughts before whispering in her ear. Pansy started grinning before taking the bottle that was in his hands.

"Alright everyone! I want to play a game with you guys!" Pansy called out to them. "Come sit in a circle!"

"Now what dumb game are we going to be playing this time?" Draco grumbled as he sat down next to Blaise.

The dark haired Slytherin rolled her eyes at the boy. "Well I was thinking we play spin the bottle."

"The muggle game?" Questioned Crabbe.

Mattheo nodded. "I say we should add a bit of a twist. You and the person you get have two options. Either kiss or fight to see who can pin the other to the ground first."

"Mistletoe or mistlefoe," said Enzo, laughing at his own joke.

"Yep."

(Y/N) rolled her eyes at Enzo's words. "Let's get started then before I have to hear Enzo crack another dumb joke."

"Hey!"

Mattheo started, landing on Theodore. The two looked at each other with a smirk on their faces.

"Oh this is gonna be fun," Mattheo said before jumping on Theodore.

The game went on, Theodore gave a kiss on the cheek to Blaise, Blaise fighting Goyle, Goyle attempting to kiss Pansy, Pansy kissing Draco, Draco fighting Crabbe, Crabbe fighting Enzo, Enzo kissing Daphne, Daphne kissing (Y/N).

Then it was (Y/N)'s turn.

She spun the bottle. Everyone watched it spin. (Y/N) was anxious, but she wasn't the only one. Pansy was too. The bottle began slowing down, appearing as though it were to stop on Crabbe. Mattheo noticed the panicked look on Pansy, discreetly pulling out his wand and making it stop on Theodore, who sat two people away from Crabbe.

"Well, its Theo, so you guys have to kiss."

(Y/N) looked at Mattheo quizzically. "Wait but don't I choose if I want kiss or fight him?"

"Nope. There's mistletoe." Mattheo said while using his wand to place mistletoe above Theodore's head.

(Y/N) felt her face burning. Was she going to kiss Theodore? Or would she avoid that by fighting him? Either way, she would probably embarrass herself. She looked towards Pansy to see what she would tell her.

The dark haired girl was looking right at her, mouthing her to just do it.

(Y/N) got up towards Theodore, the boy staring at her with his blue eyes. She crouched down in front of him, eyes flicking between his eyes and lips. A million things were going through her head. But there was a voice telling her what she should do.

She kissed him.

She kissed her crush.

And he was kissing her back?

She felt a hand on her cheek, pulling her in, deepening the kiss. The cheers from the gang were drowned out by her focus on Theodore.

The two had departed, taking time looking at each other's eyes.

"I like you Theo."

The boy smiled. "I like you too (Y/N)."

"Fucking finally!"

The two turned to Mattheo, Pansy standing next to him. Both having smug looks on their faces.

"Been waiting for you to admit it since forever," Pansy laughs.

"Same with Theo," Mattheo chuckles.

A cough fills the room.

"Well I'm happy for Theo and (Y/N)," Draco began. "But we still got a party going on."

"Firewhiskey for everyone!" Enzo shouted while passing the drink to everyone.

(Y/N) stood by Theodore, who's arm was wrapped around her.

She lifted her drink towards him. "Cheers Theo."

Theodore did the same. "Cheers. To the holidays and to us."

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #hp fanfic #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott x reader #theo nott imagine #theodore nott #theo nott

479 notes · View notes

cxrsed-angel · 1 year

Text

Girls Not Out | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

word count 1k

summary: joel takes care of you after your first girls night out

warnings: mentions of sex but isn’t actually, drinking, age gap, (joel is in his late 50s, reader is in her 20s), mentions of puking

gif credits: @/ pedrohub

“Joel I think your girl had a few drinks too many,” Tommy laughs taking a sip of his drink before walking away. joel says silent prayer hoping you werent making too much of a fool of yourself.

He knew you had a hard time adjusting to jackson, used to surviving not living, when you told him about a group of girls your age inviting you out to go drinking with them be encouraged it, and tagged along since you were nervous, he expected you to makes some new friends but he didn’t expect those friends to get you drunk of your ass.

He sighs and sets his drink down, and turns around to see you on top of one of the tipsy bison’s tables, dancing with one of the girls, grinding your hips against hers, the short dress one of the girls gave you, riding up your thigh as you moved your hips, his jaw clenching when hears a few of the younger guys that were watching whistle at you.

“For fucks sake.” he mutters as he approaches the table.

“Hi ladies, hey sweetheart I think its time to go.” he holds his hands out to you, but you stay on the table, refusing.

“Noo Im having fun, I haven't had fun in forever and Im making friends look.” you gesture to the girls, and they wave as your words slurred. continuing dancing on the top. Joel lets outs a tired sigh, hoping you don't fall off and hurt yourself.

“Can you refill it please.” you beg, pouting and giving him your best puppy dog eyes handing him your empty glass. he’s about to refuse when Tommy comes over, he pats Joel’s shoulder.

“That’s what happens when you’re dating a younger girl huh she has to much energy for you.” he jokes as he watches you still dancing and taking a sip of your friend's drink.

“ Fuck off, Tommy. C’mon you've had enough darling can you please get down.” he asks again but you refuse again moving away from him as he tried to gently pull you down you lose your balance in the hells you had spent all week learning how to walk in, a foot slips off the table, luckily Joel catches you before you could hit the hardwood.

“You okay?” he asks but you're not paying attention. You're focusing on Joel's brown eyes and how they shine in fairy lights strung long the wall. You silently admire him for a few minutes. Not realizing he was speaking to you. “You with me sweetheart?”

“Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are” you sloppily run your hand up his chest clumsily, trying to be sexy.

Joel lets out a small chuckle at the state you were in. “Yes baby you have, come on let’s get you home ” he lightly grabs your arm helping you with your footing, one of the girls, just as drunk as you if not more comes up to you.

“This is joel? you’re right he is hot, you’re so lucky.” you smile and slip out of Joel’s hand taking the opportunity to gush about him more.

“I know he’s so hot, you should hear him when he’s pissed. His southern accent gets stronger it’s so sexy, it makes me so we—“Joel cuts you off before you could finish your sentence, blushing a bit.

“Okay! baby it’s time to go.” you wave to your new friends as joel leads you to the front. He finally thinks he managed to get you out of there one of the younger guys watching you dance blocks the door

“Hey you looked good dancing up there what’s your name.” Joel’s grip on you tightens, he’s about to tell him to fuck off, but you beat him to it

“Ew, no i have a boyfriend” he looks at Joel hand on your waist and scoffs.

“Who? not this old fuck, come on I bet the old man can’t even get it up anymore don’t you wanna someone who could go all night doll .” before you could come up with a response Joel fist collides into his nose, you could tell its bad when it starts bleeding, probably breaking his nose.

You hear gasps from everyone in the bar; but before anyone can do anything, Joel is already leading you out the door walking you home.

After many stumbles and you puke up all the alcohol in your system. Joel finally makes it home into your shared room. He sits on the bed next to you and rubs your back, as you lay down on the bed staring at him.

“Joel youre so hot”

He lets out a laugh “you’ve said before baby” he tries to get up from the bed, but you hold onto his hand, making him stay next to you

“No don’t leave please” you start tearing up at the thought of him not being next to you.

Joel frowns not understanding why you were crying “I’m not going anywhere just gonna get you a change of clothes and some food, maybe a bucket or something.” he tries to explain, but you cling onto him, crying a bit harder.

“No Joel please don’t leave me.” Joel’s caught off guard by your bawling and sits back on the bed.

“Okay Im not going anywhere Im right here just go to sleep baby.” he lays next to you but sees you still sniffing and crying.

“Sweetheart why are you crying,” he asks, full of concern, worried someone did something or hurt you. his worries only grow when you shake your head and refuse to tell him. “C’mon baby it’s okay you can tell me.”

You take a deep breath wiping your tears and face him “They’re gonna kick me out.” You cry out, Joel’s face frowning confused

“Who baby?”

“They! Everyone. Jackson, Maria. I fucking don’t know who does it specifically! ” Joel looks at you, trying to piece together what you’re saying.

“Why would they kick you out?.”

You stop cry a little and sit up, “This morning at breakfast I put my dirty plate in the wrong place I put it with the bowls Joel, the bowls! I was gonna fix it but then the girls started talking to me and lead me out talking about girls night out and what time to meet and I didn’t get chance to go back.” Joel stared at you with wide eyes at your babbled confession, he tried to hold in his laughter not wanting to upset you more.

“Baby they ain’t gonna kick you out because of that okay I promise.” you look at him sniffling,

“Really?” Joel nodded reassuring you

“Yea it was just an accident, sweet girl it didn’t hurt anybody, I doubt they even noticed.”

You stop crying and lay down cuddling against him, “ok, but if they kick me you out I’m telling you I told you so.” Joel smiles laughing a little as you closed your eyes slowly falling asleep.

Joel relaxes as you calm down. He thinks about it and realizes he’s never seen you drunk, he’s seen you drink here and there but never enough to let your guard know, not like this. It makes me happy that he had found a place for you and Ellie, that was safe, and you could relax, He knew that the both of you had been through so much and were forced to grow up fast. It was times like this when he remembers just how young you were, still in your twenties.

He rubs your head on his shoulder, lying down; he thinks about how he would take care of you every day if it gave you a chance to have a somewhat normal young adulthood. He closes his eyes to sleep, and it’s quiet for a few minutes until he heard your voice again.

“Joel. I think I need to throw up.” Joel laughs a little before sitting up to help you.

₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ୨୧ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

Bonus: Joel woke up early to go to the dining hall hoping to grab some of your favorite breakfast foods, he was placing the food in a to go container when he hears a group of whispering behind him.

“god he’s so hot,” he turns around and sees the group of girls you were with last night; he sees them looking fresh and awake and wonders how they weren’t hungover. he turns back and continues getting your food but they continue whispering.

“aww he’s getting her hangover food, I wish I had a sexy older man taking care of me.”

Joel shakes his head but continued ignoring them, moving over to get some coffee.

“I know I bet he fucks her so good.” Joel eyes widen at the comment and spills the hot coffee on the table and a little on his hand, cursing under his breath. he starts cleaning up when Tommy walks over, making joel jump slightly as he playfully slaps his shoulder.

“Jesus Joel why are you so jumpy just came to check on your girl.” Joel relaxes and continues filling up the coffee cups.

“It's - Im fine, she’s fine I actually need to go check on her now.” he answers quickly, trying to leave the dining hall before he hears anymore of their conversations but not fast enough.

“No, he’s definitely the #1 DILF here. Do you see him?”

“We don’t even know if he has kids. ”

“He doesn’t have to have kids to be a daddy.”

Tommy and Joel overhear their conversation as the girls walk by, Joel feels his face starts getting red, wondering how much you told them last night.

“Were-are they talking about you?” Tommy asks but Joel just shakes his head and heads towards the door.

“I gotta check on her, know she’s gonna a bad hangover. I'll see you later Tommy” he says as he leaves out the door, hoping to forget that whole situation ever happened.

#angel writes #joel <3 #joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x female reader #joel miller one shot #joel miller fluff #joel miller #tlou x reader #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic

2K notes · View notes

tojivu · 6 months

Text

# SOBER UP ‣ MEGUMI FUSHIGURO

✰ — author’s note should this be considered a shtpost LOL

✰ — playing mad riches by sonder .

✰ — cw / tags mentions of alcohol , comfort and fluff , f!reader , college au , ex boyfriend + situationship megumi , idk if i made him seem like a red flag here but idc… #megumiapologist

✰ — word count 1.7k

MEGUMI , who tags along when his friends go drinking at a bar nearby your campus and has an alcohol tolerance higher than everyone in the room, combined.

this man does not play when it comes to drinking games. honestly, he would not be interested in playing at all if not for yuji egging him on—any chance to prove himself will not go wasted, especially when it’s his own best friend doubting his ability.

you’re playing along, after yuji had pestered your friends to join in—you took one for the team and decided to go with it. truth or drink: two options, it would be an easy feat. just pick truth every time.

everyone is gathered around the large table at the centre of the establishment, glasses in hand. megumi is across from you, blank expression worn—he doesn’t seem to be enjoying the occasion, but he's partaking anyway. his arms are crossed, eyes locked on the surface of the table. you had hoped to speak to him tonight, but it seemed like you wouldn't be able to.

you’re swirling your glass around, generating a whirlpool in your drink—waiting for yuji to move on from asking nonsensical questions and to let the night get more exciting. he seems to be the life of the party, people often picking him to answer their queries: it’s a horrible time to be popular, because he soon excuses himself after a few glasses.

it’s that way with everyone in the group, with every popular student getting picked in order—eventually, it’s just you, megumi, and 3 other people.

“y/n.” an unfamiliar voice calls your name, one belonging to a boy you’ve never seen before. “truth or drink?”

“truth.” you respond, wanting to last as long as possible: not taking a sip until it was absolutely necessary. your apartment was quite a long way from where you were: a long cab ride with an intoxicated system didn’t sound appealing at all. you hoped it wouldn’t be too scandalous of a question, after all, not many people knew you personally—so they didn’t have much to ask.

“anyone here. . . you don’t mind going on a date with?”

that was a stupid question. your college was full of teenage-minded boys who didn't think twice before doing anything. nobody was serious enough for your taste, and regretfully so: you're unable to answer the question and you take a shot.

MEGUMI , who glares at you, despondently, from athwart the table because you didn't answer the question with his name. he exhales, eyebrows furrowing and the grip on his cup tightening. it was unfair of him to expect a response with his name—after what had happened.

fushiguro and you were a complicated pair. many have heard of you two and yet knew so little: you've dated him in the past and things were on and off since then. yet, people pretend they don't see you slipping out of his dorm as soon as the sun rises, and that they don't see him staring daggers into any man that speaks to you.

sure, you two would have your flings—each time swearing it was the last. you knew it wasn’t right, but if nobody uttered any ‘i love you’s, what was the real harm?

just a week ago, an argument ensued between the two of you. he was yelling about how he had too many classes and couldn't see you, and you were saying how he should've tried anyway.

he reminded you that night that you two weren't together anymore, and off you went; out his door and no calls returned.

megumi knew you were angry when you didn't bother scolding him via text, as you usually would, but he knew you were livid when you didn't bother thinking of your answer—instead chugging your glass.

your giggles get louder, and your head dizzier. you're holding onto the chair behind you, and megumi is pissed off with the way your friends are more concerned with taking pictures than looking out for you.

the circle remains, with the same boy picking you to answer his inappropriate questions regarding your love life. megumi is concerned with how much alcohol is entering your system. he's standing up straight now, worried that you'll black out any moment—he knew better than anyone that you couldn't hold your liquor. he can't help but blame the guy picking on you; you seemed to be stuttering and yet he didn't stop.

"you know what," he walks around the table and grabs the empty cup from your hands. "this is dangerous. you can't handle liquor."

you're stumbling over your own feet as you try to retrieve your cup from megumi, who's raising it over his head and out of your reach.

"'gumi . . ."

your words are slurred and your face is flushed red. your hands try to reach up, but come down to his chest as you almost fall on top of him. megumi is concerned, but his face shows annoyance; he places the cup down and slithers his arm around your waist to support you.

it's been a long while since you called him that, or any nickname at all. something stirs in his chest, it was something about his nickname leaving your lips—he can't help but stare at them, so that's precisely what he does.

"i'm taking you home."

you whine, but your uncoordinated self is unable to fight the strong arms that pull you out of the bar, away from the crowd and onto the pavement outside.

you're hitting megumi's chest while babbling nonstop about how much of a party pooper he is. the look on his face appears nonchalant—your ex couldn't care less about ruining the fun. he cared about you, and the least he could do was make sure you got home safe.

"you're always like this, 'gumi . . ." you hit his chest again, your head buried in the crook of his neck. your breath against his skin tickles, shuddering when you say his name. "always . . . ruining the fun."

megumi's attempts at hailing a cab render useless, and public transport had their last journey an hour ago. you complain about your heels to him, with a pout that makes him weak in the knees.

"your shoes . . . so comfy."

he swears under his breath because no other girl could embarass him like this. megumi walks with you, your gleaming heels in his hands and his socks getting torn by the harsh asphalt. he hates being barefoot—but you're treading the path happily, wearing his sneakers—so he thinks it's bearable, just for a short while.

MEGUMI , who takes you to a convenience store close by and buys you two bottles of water, hoping you could sober up a little.

it's 2 in the morning and you're sitting on a bench outside of a 7-11 with your ex boyfriend, who you can't help but stare at. he looks unusually handsome, you think, just a little bit more than usual. you feel like your first year self pining over him all over again, but this time, he's much closer.

you remember the fight a week ago and you're brought back to reality of what it was. megumi hit you cold and hard with the truth, and you find yourself shifting your gaze to the empty bottle of water at your feet.

you hear megumi's breath hitch a few times, almost as if he was meaning to say something—but you didn't know if you would want to hear it, after everything that had unfolded between you two.

"just say it, megumi." you blurt out, thinking there was no point in keeping things unsaid. you were annoyed with the way he would turn back and forth between you and the road.

he's not certain if he's glad to hear you say his full name, at least you're sober—but he hates the fact that you don't say megumi like you say gumi.

"i still love you, y/n." megumi mumbles.

you look at him, your eyes immediately noticing his staring at you before you even turned your head. you get up from the bench, unable to make sense of what he just said: apologies quickly leave your mouth and you're power walking away.

MEGUMI , who trails behind you, asking you to wait—he had your heels, and those were his shoes on your feet.

nothing changes until you arrive at your front door. you're completely sober thanks to the water megumi forced you to chug, and he’s behind you. you turn from the door to face him, and your stubbornness is suddenly dissipating.

your heels are still in his hands and his socks are completely torn.

"yeah, this is your fault."

you roll your eyes. "i did nothing."

megumi scoffs, looking down at the floor. he's not sure what to say to make this any less awkward—he's already spoken his mind.

"just come in, 'gumi. i've had enough of your complaining."

his eyes light up when you say the two syllable word. he takes his socks off in milliseconds, leaving your heels outside and letting himself be pulled by the sleeve into your apartment.

MEGUMI , who wakes up in your bed with his arm around the small of your back, keeping you close to him—sunlight is spilling in through the gaps of your curtains. it’s shining on his chest and subsequently, you: your head is laid on his bare chest, your legs resting on top of his. your breath is warm against his skin, your left arm hugging him tight around the waist.

your breathing is calm and slow, but it comes to a brief stop when you wake up soon after him. you yawn, head throbbing, but it doesn't stop you from looking up at fushiguro—who's been staring at you for awhile.

"we might as well just get back together."

megumi thought you were kidding, after you had just run away from him after his confession the night before: but you were everything but a joker.

he runs his fingers through your hair, before sighing softly.

"that's not a bad idea."

his fingers playing with your hair was lulling you back to sleep, along with the warmth of skin to skin contact and a voice that seemed as smooth as velvet. there wasn't much time before your headache and him combined knocked you out.

". . . i love you, 'gumi.” is all you manage to say before closing your eyes, allowing fushiguro to savour the words in private as you slept soundly.

he was thankful that you were exhausted—the red on his cheeks was much too embarrassing to be seen.

201023 — hello … new layout what do u guys think ? (　ﾟдﾟ)

298 notes · View notes

dbnightingale24 · 1 month

Text

My Little Decoy

A StevexReaderxBucky Messy Triangle

Another story for Patreon! So, for this one, I'm a bit anxious (when am I not?), because this definitely took off in the complete opposite direction of what I initially planned. That being said, I hope you all enjoy it!

Thank you as always to @fuckingbye for the amazing moodboard, I love you to bits for literally everything you do! I was in the middle of updating three other stories when this idea came to me, so please just work with me! (I'm so sorry I'm like this.)

Anywho, here we go!

Word Count: 34,776 (I'm not even gonna apologize anymore)

Warnings: Honestly, this entire fucking story. SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY), Threesome, Lying, Infidelity, Emotional Cheating, Swearing, Drinking, Infertility, Family Drama, Angst, Lusting, Daddy Kink, Running Away, Tie Play, Cuff Play, Crying, Fluff, Best friends to lovers...that's all I can think of? They're honestly so many.

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Don't Look So Blue, You Should've Seen Right Thru, I'm Using You, My Little Decoy

Summary: You truly do have the best intentions when you try to move on and suppress your feelings for your best friend Steve, and try to move on with Bucky. Unfortunately, life doesn't give a damn about intentions. Neither does love.

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to get posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

You wonder how the hell it got to this point in the first place as you lay in Steve’s soft bed sheets. What feels like it should be a quiet moment of peace is juxtaposed with your current reality; Bucky pounding on the front door and you and Steve conspiring to think of some kind- any kind- of excuse.

You truly don’t understand how it got to this.

It all feels like it started so long ago. You didn’t even know 6 years could feel so fast, much less pass so quickly. You look around at where you are now, at Steve, as you listen to the shaking of the front door against Bucky’s fist as he continues thumping away. Fuck. What if memories lie? Maybe it is that long ago.

6 Years Earlier...

“Babe, you ever had a night out in the city?” Bucky asked as you took off your gear.

Training was brutal and everyone was looking for a way to relieve stress. You knew The Avengers were all planning to meet up at some club downtown, but you had other plans.

“I have, and as much fun as it can be, I have other plans,” you laugh as you take your hair out of the tightest ponytail you’d ever had it in.

“Oh? What are you getting into?” Natasha laughs, making her way over with Bruce holding onto her as if he’d lose her.

“My friend’s band is playing tonight. I promised her I’d go if we finished up early enough.”

“Oh, this I gotta see!” Bruce chimes in as you laugh and shake your head. “You never let us have a peak into your personal life!”

“God, I haven’t been to a show in forever,” Natasha chimes in with raised eyebrows.

He wasn’t wrong. You played everything so close to the chest; wanting to keep those you love and care for the most safe...wanting to keep yourself safe. Since none of them were relenting (not to mention they’re the damn Avengers), you finally agreed and told them to meet you outside of your room at the compound in about two hours.

“Is it too late for me to get in on this?” Steve asks just as the group was about to disperse.

“There you are!” Bucky interjects before anyone has a chance to say anything. “Y/N is giving us a peak into her personal life! We’re all meeting at her place in two hours and going from there,” he laughs patting his best friend on the back.

Steve looked at you with a cocked eyebrow and you just laugh and nod, giving him the ‘OK’ to tag along. Unbeknownst to the others, you and Steve hung out the most. No, he’d never been privy to your personal life, but you two spent a lot of time watching movies and listening to music together on the weekends. Occasionally, Bucky would get in on the action, but it was mainly you and Steve. You and Steve had a certain level of comfort that you didn’t have with the rest of them. It was more of an unspoken, private thing and that’s how the both of you preferred it. You both understood each other, and neither of you ever made the other feel sad or out of place for things that had gone wrong in each other’s past. You both had wounds you were still healing from, and you gave each other the space needed for that to happen.

You’d always had a thing for Steve. He kept himself at a distance, so it was difficult for you to tell if he ever felt the same. After a while, you’d stopped trying and just accepted him as a friend. He told you that he’d wanted to go back and stay with Peggy, but he was too afraid to leave Bucky on his own again, so he’d come back instead. He wasn’t even sure if Bucky would ever be okay with being alone; Steve just stayed without asking him. It seemed like the right thing to do, and he didn’t hate the current timeline too much.

Soon enough, everyone is in your small little complex, drinking and laughing as you put together the last bit of your outfit. The thought of Steve joining all of you had you more anxious than you cared to admit, so you chalked it up to the normal anxiety of inviting your work colleagues into your personal life.

Which was more than fair.

“I’m sure you look amazing, lets go! I’m too excited for this!” Natasha hollers as she makes her way into your bedroom.

“Nat!”

“Oh, they’re all in there drinking away! You’re fine,” she laughs, closing the door behind her. “Well shit!”

“I swear to God, I’ll change right now!”

“No! You look amazing!” she promised as her hands covered her mouth. “None of us have ever seen you out of work clothes, and babe...you look amazing,” she laughs in shock.

“Should I change? I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea-”

“If you’re comfortable, who cares. No one wants to interfere with your personal life. I think we’re all more afraid of pushing you away,” she laughs.

“You really think it’s okay?”

“I mean, I think you’re hot as fuck,” she laughed as you rolled your eyes, “but I think you look amazing.”

“You sure?”

“Get enough alcohol in them , they won’t even notice when you leave for the bathroom,” she laughed.

Even though you laughed along with her, you knew better. James Buchanan Barnes kept his attention on you almost as well as Steve, but you never thought anything of it. It always had a more platonic feeling than with Steve, almost more familial.

When you came out, Steve was the first to look at you. His mouth slightly agape was enough to make you wanna go back, but Bucky was quick to chime in-

“Someone is ready for a night out,” he laughed.

That’s all it took.

Soon enough, you were taking shots and laughing with everyone else. Even Pepper and Tony were excited and joined you all. Your life was something so foreign to them, and you could tell that they all felt extremely excited that you trusted them enough.

In all honesty, you felt more comfortable because Steve was there. You knew he’d never let anything happen to you, and you’d never let anything happen to him. If you were being completely honest, you’d only wanted to invite him out. How it spiraled, you’re still not sure but it did. It The only thing that felt off was letting him see you dressed as you were. It was weird for all of them to see you dressed as you were, but Steve couldn’t take his eyes off you.

You were in red plaid crop top, with tight fighting black jeans that hugged your hips in just the right way, and black low top heels. You put your hair in loose curls, and finished it off with eyeliner and mascara. After a brutal day of training, you really didn’t wanna spend forever doing your makeup, because you knew you’d wanna come home after everything was over and go right back to sleep. Yeah, everything was hugging your body in just the right way, but you weren’t about to change.

You were introducing them to your life.

Before you all left, Thor filled three flasks with his mead from Asgard for himself, Steve, and Bucky and you laughed pretty damn hard.

“We wanna enjoy this night too,” he winked at you as you rolled your eyes.

The walk was easy enough, but it felt like it took forever. People kept asking for pictures with the OG Avengers, they had a million questions, and of course they were all happy to be as kind as possible. It’s not that you minded all that much, but you really missed your best friend. Work had been kicking your ass, she had been extremely busy, and was in the middle of planning her wedding. Nights off were extremely rare, but actually getting to see her and her friends perform? It had been forever.

“You made it!” she squealed once you were finally inside the club with everyone, almost knocking you over with how hard she hugged you.

“I told you I’d show! Even if I would’ve only caught the last song,” you laughed as you hugged her back just as tight. “We still on for drinks after?”

“Fuck yes! Your tits look amazing in this top, we’re definitely getting free drinks out of it,” she beamed with a wink and you burst out laughing. “Okay, I’ve seen all of you on TV, but I still wanna officially meet everyone,” she smiled at everyone. “I’m Meg.”

As everyone went around introduced themselves, you made your way to the bar, to grab your signature Jack and Coke.

“Hell yes! You made it!” Meg’s finance, Paul, beamed as he made your drink.

“Why is everyone so shocked that I’m here?!”

“You haven’t been to a show in years!”

“Blah, blah, blah,” you muttered as you reached behind the bar and grabbed his pack of cigarettes.

“You bring the Avengers with you and you dare to steal from me?” he sneered sarcastically as he handed you your drink.

You laughed as you reached across the bar and kissed his cheek, “I’m sure our friendship will survive it.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Dude, I had no idea the place would be so packed tonight.”

“I have a feeling everyone here had a long ass Friday.” “Yeah, well they better treat my baby right.” “You two!”

He rolled his eyes as he flipped you off, “enjoy the show!”

“Thank you, Paaauuullll,” you sang out as everyone joined you.

You looked up to see Steve staring at you intently, and he quickly turned towards the stage when he realized he was caught. Before you could allow yourself to think on it or feel flattered, you heard your best friend yell from the stage as she started to make her guitar scream.

“We’re ‘Flowers of Cinnamon’, and thanks for spending your Friday night with us!”

From that moment on, you were barely paying attention to your surroundings. With the exception of your drink, you didn’t focus on anything other than your best friend rocking the fuck out. It had always just been a hobby for her, but she had always been so damn good at it. You envied how effortlessly performing came to her. The band was a cross between Paramore, The Bangles, and All Time Low, and they were just as amazing as you remembered. You wouldn’t have been able to stay still even if you’d wanted to. You sang and danced along to every song, bouncing around, and screaming your head off. You had no clue that Steve had been watching you with the biggest grin on his face, Bucky had been watching your chest bounce up and down, or that Tony had been recording your reaction to your best friend’s music, smiling so hard at your happiness.

Every other song, your best friend made eye contact with you and laughed, and nothing else seemed to matter. Thinking back on it, you wished it had, because maybe things wouldn’t have gotten so fucked up, but you were just so damn happy. The more drinks got, the more you danced and sang around, finally feeling comfortable and happy, even with your new set of friends watching you.

“Okay, this is gonna be our last song for the night,” Meg smiled into the microphone and she laughed at amount of “boos” they received. “Listen, I wanna get fucked up too!” she joked, gaining laughs from the crowd. “Okay, so tonight is extremely special because my best friend on the entire planet is here and brought her friends with her! Thanks babe! So, our last song is gonna be a cover of one of her favorite songs ever,” she winked at you as you cocked an eyebrow.

As soon as you heard the first cord of ‘Decoy’ by Paramore hum out of the speakers, you screamed so loud that everyone in your group (and Paul) started laughing.

‘Close your eyes and make believe that this is where you wanna be

Forgetting all the memories, try to forget love cause love’s forgotten me

Well hey, hey baby, it’s never too late

Pretty soon you won’t remember a thing

All I’ll be distant, the stars reminiscing

Your heart’s been wasted on me’

You sang along so effortlessly as you started to jump up and down.

‘You’ve never been so used as I’m using you, abusing you

My little decoy

Don’t look so blue, you should’ve seen right through

I’m using you, my little decoy

My little decoy’

You linked arms with Nat, who clearly didn’t know the song, but was more than happy to sing and dance along with you. You glanced around and it made you so happy to see everyone else happy and having a good time. It’s not like you were a stick in the mud at work but, you never let loose. Even when it came to holiday and birthday parties, you were pretty damn reserved. The only person who can claim that they’ve seen you fucked up is Steve, and even then it was just you being wine drunk on the sofa while you two listened to albums and discussed work.

No, this was you letting lose and everyone accepting it. Accepting you. You looked over at Steve and he a look of pure love and adoration in his eyes, and it made your heart swell.

God, you wished you would’ve paid more attention to the way both he and Bucky looked at you that night, but you were just so damn happy and having so much fun.

If you could turn back time...

“Am I still okay at singing?” Meg asked once she finally made her way over to all of you.

“Dude, you’re still fucking amazing!” you beamed as you wrapped her in a tight hug and she laughed. “That was so good! Thank you for playing ‘Decoy’, almost making me cry!”

“Aha!” she teased before she looked at everyone else. “What about Earth’s mightiest heroes? Were you all able to tolerate it?”

“That was amazing,” Tony laughed, Pepper nodding in agreement.

“Why don’t you do this full time?” Nat asked as you waived Paul down and got another drink for both you and Meg.

“If I did this full time, I’d be so stressed all the damn time,” Meg laughed, “I’m much happier painting.”

“What do you paint? Do you have a studio?” Clint inquired and a smile came to your face.

Things were going better than you could have ever imagined.

As everyone got acquainted, you snuck to have a smoke. A few moments later, a smile came to your face when you saw Steve come out after you.

“You said you’re quitting those,” he nodded towards the cigarette in your hand.

“I stole Paul’s,” you laughed, standing a little further from him so as to not get the smoke in his face.

“I can handle it,” he laughed as he placed his black leather jacket on you. “You’re pretty...exposed and I don’t want you getting cold.”

“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest man?” you teased before you inhaled your cancer stick. “Who else knows about this? I’ll call the ‘New York Times’” He snickered as he shook his head, “quiet you.”

“Are you having fun tonight?”

“I am, I like you seeing like this.”

You scoffed, “crazy?” “Happy...content. Secure.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, and the look he gave you along with it, had butterflies appearing in your stomach.

“We should get back inside,” you smiled at up at him as you ashed the last of your cigarette and threw it in the nearby trash bin.

And maybe that’s when it started.

You just missed all the signs that night, because you were convinced Steve didn’t want you.

He convinced you he didn’t want you.

When the two of you got back inside, Paul had just finished up his shift and the guys had finished helping Meg back up her equipment which she had decided to lock up in the manager’s office for the night.

“Dancing! We need dancing!” she whined once her eyes landed on you.

“Hell yeah we do,” you laughed as you linked arms with both her and Nat.

Once again, you didn’t notice the way Bucky ogled you or the way Steve kept a close eye on you. When you all reached the next bar, you instantly ordered more drinks and pulled Nat and Meg onto the dance floor with you, still wearing Steve’s coat. He leaned against the bar, talking with Tony and Pepper, but still kept an eye on you. As Janet Jackson’s voiced filled the giant building, you danced around with the biggest smile on your face (at some point Meg had put her sunglasses on your face), smiling and waiving at Bucky when you saw his eyes glued to you.

Well, glues to your ass.

By the time everyone was ready to call it a night, you were drunk as shit.

“You’re not coming back to the compound?” Nat asked as she stumbled out after you.

“Nah, I wanna sleep in my own space tonight. It’s closer,” you giggled as you started giving out hugs.

“I can take you,” Bucky offered with a slick grin.

“I can take her, she’s on the way to my house,” Steve countered, and Meg cocked an eyebrow at you.

You just started dancing and walking.

“Goodnight everyone! Get home safe! I love you all!”

You were drunk, tired, and in no mood to figure out whatever that was about. You just wanted to go home and get in your bed. You honestly don’t know why you didn’t go back to the compound that night, but it just felt right to go to your own home. You already spent so little time there to begin with. A few moments later, you heard the hurried footsteps of someone behind you, but you kept looking ahead.

“You’re impatient when you’re drunk,” Steve laughed as he came up beside you.

A small smile came to your face at the fact that Steve was the one to walk you home.

You giggled as you leaned into him, “my feet hurt.”

No sooner than you said it, he scooped you up.

“Steve!”

“You weigh nothing, don’t worry about it, darlin.” “It’s a 30 minute walk!”

“I’m very well aware of where your apartment is.” “Steve-”

“Hush.”

You pouted but did as you were told, leaned into him, and took in the scent that was all his own. Something between woodsy and fresh cut grass. In your drunken state, he felt like home.

“Why didn’t you want Bucky to take me home?” you asked after a few moments, not missing the way he stiffened a bit.

“He’s a little buzzed and he gets a little handsy and flirty at times. I didn’t want him to bother you.” You giggled as you took in more of his scent, “you’re literally carrying me, Steve.” “You said your feet hurt.” “Are you a little buzzed?”

“I definitely don’t feel sober,” he chuckled softly and you softly sighed at the comfort of rumble in his chest.

“Do you wanna sleepover?”

“I’ll order a car service once I drop you off.”

“Why not order one now?”

“It was weird...everyone hanging out tonight. I feel like we haven’t hung out alone together in a while.” “Then why not sleepover?”

“Cause I should go home. I don’t wanna accidentally wake you up or something. You worked hard today and you need rest.” “So did you.” “Y/N.” “You’re so weird sometimes, Steve,” you huffed as you laced your hand with his.

“What are you doing?”

“Holding your hand like I’ve done a million times before. What’s wrong?” “Nothing.”

You rolled your eyes and mumbled, “alright weirdo.” “I’m not being weird.”

“You’re not being normal.”

He let out a frustrated huff, “did you have fun tonight?”

“So much fun, I’m so happy you came out.”

“I’ve missed you, darlin.” “I’ve missed you too. Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“Sleepover.”

“Y/N-” “See? You are being weird. You’ve slept over my place a ton before, in my bed, and it wasn’t weird. What’s so different about tonight?”

He muttered, “so many things.” “Like what?”

“It’s just been a long night.”

“Fine, whatever. Go home, see if I give a fuck.” “Hey!”

“You’re being weird and you won’t tell me why. You know I hate when you do that shit.”

“I just think I should sleep in my own bed, darlin’. I’m not trying to be weird or make you upset.”

He sounded so strained and you couldn’t read his facial expression, so you couldn’t see how torn up he was. You couldn’t tell how much he was at war with himself.

You couldn’t tell how much he wanted you.

He chuckled when you didn’t say anything, “don’t get quiet on me now.”

“Can you at least stay until I fall asleep? It won’t take long.” “Everything okay, darlin’?”

“Yeah Steve, I just miss you,” you confessed softly.

“We’ll do a sleepover tomorrow, alright? We’ll have it at my house.” “Fine.” “Don’t be upset.” “I don’t care.” “You’re also a giant brat when you’re drunk.” “You’re saying that you miss me, but won’t spend time with me!”

God, you sounded like a brat to your own ears. That was a huge part as to why you’d never let him see you so inebriated. It’s why you never wanted anyone from The Avengers (or S.H.I.E.L.D for that matter) to see you so drunk. It became harder for you to suppress your feelings for Steve, and he’s all you wanted when you were drunk. For reasons unknown to you (at the time), Steve wanted to go home. That should’ve been enough, but your drunk wanted to hold him all night.

You were going out of your way to start an argument.

He let out a heavy sigh as he reached your complex, “I’ll stay-”

“Don’t do me any fucking favors-” “Will stop arguing with me? And stop with swearing, you know I hate it.” “Well maybe I hate you.”

He scoffed hard at that, “no you don’t.”

“You don’t know that-”

“Yes I do, so stop saying it. I’ll stay, okay?”

“And you’ll sleep next to me?”

“Yes darlin’, I will sleep next to you.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his neck and you felt his grip on you get tighter, “thank you, Steve!”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

That night, he was good to his word and slept next to you, letting use his chest as a pillow and you were asleep almost instantly. The next day, he was back to normal and you didn’t think anything of his behavior from the previous night. You had no reason to. However, from that day on, things did slowly start to change more.

It started with Bucky coming around more, especially when Steve was with you. You couldn’t sense it, because has always been entirely too good at hiding his emotions, but he slowly became frustrated. So much that he basically stopped coming around all together.

“Hey, are you busy?” you asked timidly as you approached his office one day.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” “Oh...okay then-”

“What’s wrong?”

“No, you’re busy and I don’t wanna take up your time...”

You could feel your eyes welling up and didn’t know why. Steve always had a way of making you so damn soft and vulnerable, and you truly hated it.

You still hate it.

“Darlin’-” “Please stop calling me that. The guy who started calling me that doesn’t seem to exist anymore. If he does, he’s making sure to stay away from me.”

“He still exists-” “Then what’s going on? Why are you staying away from me?”

He sighed as he threw down his pen, “nothing-”

“Alright, if you’re just gonna lie to me-” “I’m not lying!”

“Steve, you saw me walking with Bucky yesterday and literally turned in the other direction and walked away.” “You guys are just hanging out a lot now and I don’t wanna third wheel-” “You wouldn’t third wheeling! We’re just friends!”

“Y/N...” “Steve, why are you just abandoning me? You’re the one I’m closest to and you know that. You’ve always known that,” you sobbed as you closed the door behind you.

“Please don’t cry-” “Then why are you abandoning me?! What did I do wrong?!”

“Nothing-”

“Then what the fuck?! You’ve been acting so strange, but you’re saying I haven’t done anything! If I didn’t do anything, what the fuck is going on with you?!”

He let out another frustrated sigh and just stared at you, clearly at war with himself.

“Fuck this and fuck you, I give up,” you sobbed as you dried your eyes.

“Darlin’”

“Stop calling me that! I’m just Y/N and you’re just Steve. I can’t do this with you anymore!”

After you stormed out, things only got worse, because you’d never felt so low and alone in your life. Unless it had to do with a mission or training, you barely even looked his way. The farther you got away from Steve, the more Bucky swooped in. In fact, the more you look at how everything happened, you realize that things wouldn’t have gotten so bad if you’d just shut things down with the both of them.

However, it’s not as if thinking with a broken heart ever lead to a good thing.

You cried a lot and Bucky was just there for you. He was sweet, he listened, and let you keep your secrets. Sure, he asked what happened between you and Steve (everyone was), but he dropped it when you told him you wouldn’t be talking about it.

You can’t explain what you don’t know.

“Hey doll, we’re goin’ out tonight. You wanna come? Invite Meg!” Bucky asked one night after you let him in your apartment on the compound.

“Nah, I’ve got a hot date with a black and white French film and a few glasses of wine,” you smiled weakly.

“You can’t stay in here forever.”

“I don’t. Sometimes I go home.” “Babe-”

“I just wanna stay in, Buck,” you sighed as someone else knocked on your door. “I guess I’m just the most popular girl in the world.”

When you opened it the second time, Steve stood there looking just as upset as you felt. Instead of even trying to attempt to hear him out, a rage flared up inside you and you had to force yourself to not shove him. As far as you were concerned, he had a lot of fucking nerve to show up at your place after all the shit that happened in his office.

“What?”

“I wanted to know if you’re coming out tonight-”

“No.”

“Well, can I come in and we can talk? I know I owe you an explanation-”

“I don’t want an explanation anymore, Steve,” you lied harshly, “I just want you to leave me alone. I stood in your office and cried like a fucking dumbass...that was a month ago. Now you wanna talk? Just leave things as they are.”

You truly wish you hadn’t spoken out of anger because none of it was true. You cried over him whenever you were alone, you missed hanging out with him, you missed falling asleep next to him...you missed Steve. Your Steve.

You’ve always been a hot head.

“Darlin-” “What have I told you about that?” “Y/N, just give me a few minutes-”

“No, go away. Unless it has to do with work, we don’t have anything to talk about.” “You don’t mean that,” he more pleaded than told you.

“I’ve never meant it more!”

“Y/N-”

Bucky sighed as he came up behind you, “she just needs to cool off, Pal.”

If you hadn’t been so upset and hurt you would’ve laughed at how wide Steve’s eyes got.

“We’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“I thought you were coming out. It was your idea in the first damn place,” Steve snapped.

“I don’t wanna leave Y/N while she’s this upset. She shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but all that happened was he clenched his jaw and looked away before he stormed off, punching the wall on his way out.

You should’ve spoken to him. You should’ve gone after him. Instead you pushed past Bucky and made yourself your first glass of wine of the night.

“Babe-”

“Buck, if you’re gonna stay here tonight, please no lectures. I just wanna be upset, okay?”

He just nodded solemnly, “I get it. No lectures, just drinks and weird French movies,” he smirked and you quietly laughed.

Here’s the thing: it’s not that you never found Bucky attractive, you just never thought about him. You were always thinking about Steve. However, at that time, thinking about Steve brought you too much pain and you didn’t want to feel anymore pain for a while. You just wanted to feel numb. You’d rather have nothing, the void, than hold onto the pain Steve’s brought on.

You rested your legs on him when he sat next to you, not thinking anything of it. When he started stroking your leg after the third glass of wine, you still didn’t think anything of it. You only started to pick up on his actions when he squeezed your thigh a little.

“Buck?”

“Yeah doll?” “What are you doing?”

“Trying to help you relax and feel better.”

“Buck-”

“I’ve never seen you this upset, babe. I just wanna help.”

The thought and the offer were tempting. You couldn’t remember the last time you had gotten off to something other than your vibrator. Of course you’d made subtle advances towards Steve, but he’d clearly turned you down. Plus, the women around the compound did talk. While Bucky had a reputation for being a skirt chaser, he also had a reputation for wearing women out in the best way.

It’s not like you were looking for anything. You just wanted to forget for awhile.

He tested the waters a bit more by sliding his hand further up your leg, waiting to see how you’d respond.

You placed your wine glass on the ground and opened your legs for him a bit, “you just wanna make me feel better?”

“So fuckin’ good, doll,” he husked, as he reached between your legs and easily ripped your panties off, “just lay back and enjoy, baby.”

His movements were slow, but his kisses were desperate. It felt good, but off. Not to mention you felt more guilty with every kiss he gave you, like you were betraying Steve.

‘Fuck Steve,’ you told yourself mentally, ‘he had his chance and he clearly didn’t want it.’

You closed your eyes in a vain attempt to shut out any thoughts of Steve, but that only made his face come to mind. You let out a sound between a moan and a frustrated grunt as you pulled Bucky’s hair.

“Please!”

“Tell me how bad you want it,” he smirked, his hot breath lapped at your pussy.

“So fucking bad, please! Need it!”

“Love seeing you like this,” he cooed, before he dipped down and dove in and his lewd moans filled the room.

This was the moment Bucky became your “decoy”. You didn’t want him in the same way he wanted you, but part of you felt like he didn’t actually give a shit. Since he’d lost Nat to Bruce, Bucky wasn’t ever really looking for a relationship. He liked to play around, entertain a woman (or two) for a few months, then he’d move on. As far as you were concerned, that night was only supposed to be a one time thing.

“F-fuck!” you moaned, doing your best to be in the moment as you lulled your head back while he fucked you with his tongue and massaged your clit with his thumb. “Feels so good, Buck!”

You weren’t lying completely. It’s not as if Bucky was bad at eating you out, he just wasn’t the one you wanted doing it.

You felt him smirk against your folds, and started to grind your pussy against his face, forcing yourself to focus on all the pleasure you felt instead of everything else.

‘Steve doesn’t want you. Steve doesn’t want you. Stop thinking about Steve!’ you told yourself mentally.

When he switched up and started sucking on your clit, he easily pressed two fingers into your soaked folds. You felt the knot in your core tighten and snap.

“FUCK!” you cried out as you came hard and a few tears escaped your eyes.

You hated how the tears weren’t from pleasure, but you masked it well enough as he fucked you through your high.

“Take off that fuckin’ shirt, baby. Let me fuckin’ see you,” he husked as he took off his own shirt and started to undo his jeans.

You were quick to do as he said, taking all of him as you ignored how uncomfortable you felt being so bare beneath him as his mouth glistened with your juices.

You were doing this to feel better, so why weren’t you feeling any better?

“Waited so fuckin’ long, baby,” he groaned as he dipped down and worshiped each of your breasts while his thumb made little circles on your clit.

“Bucky!”

“I know baby, I’m gonna take care of you, gonna take such good care of you,” he moaned before you felt his tongue on the side of your neck, licking up little beads of sweat.

You took a deep breath and told yourself you wanted it as you felt him at your entrance. You wanted Bucky. You just needed to let yourself relax.

“Jesus, you’re fuckin’ tight!” he grunted as he pushed into you.

“Oh fuck!”

“I know you can take me, baby! Your wet little pussy is squeezing me so tight, baby!” “Please don’t stop,” you whimpered as you wrapped a leg around his waist, trying to hang on to him as he fucked into you hard and fast.

You wanted this. You agreed to this.

He pushed himself up with his metal arm and looked down at you adoringly, “wanted you for so long, doll. Waited for...ah fuck!”

To avoid feeling anymore guilt, you wrapped an arm around him to pull him close and kissed him passionately, moaning into his mouth when you felt him fill you to the brim. He rode out both your highs before he rested his forehead against yours.

“So good, baby. You tired?” he asked, breath still coming heavy.

You just closed your eyes and shook your head no.

“Good girl.”

Bucky kept at it for a while, not feeling any real pleasure until he brought you off (which you had to fake half the time). There was nothing wrong with him. You found him attractive, and you knew that he wanted you, but it just wasn’t what you wanted. All of it felt so hollow and emotionless on your end. You felt like you were acting and Bucky was working his ass off to please you; to make matters worse, your phone kept going off and you knew who it was.

Steve would’ve hated you if he knew what you were doing and who with, but a part of you felt like he already did. When you both were done, Bucky was a gentleman. He pulled your shirt over your head, carried you to bed, and held you close until you both fell asleep.

You didn’t cry until the next day when you woke up alone in an empty apartment. You ignored calls from both Bucky and Steve, and eventually Bucky was the only one texting you.

Something in you knew that Bucky had confirmed his suspicions, and you just knew he was furious. You and Steve both knew Bucky wasn’t a bad guy, he was just a player and Steve never wanted that for you.

Eventually you cracked and called Meg, and cried while you told her everything.

“Well...fuck,” she muttered once you finally got everything out. “Are you sure Steve knows?”

“His calls and texts were incessant until they weren’t. He hasn’t done either in the last 3 hours.”

“Oh yeah no, he definitely fucking knows. Bucky?”

“Bucky went from every 30 minutes to every other hour.”

“Well, what’s wrong with him?” “Nothing...”

“Except?”

“He’s not Steve.”

“Yeah, but Steve passed up on you, and he was kind of a dick about it. He waited a month until after the office situation? You’ve been showing him your available for how many years? I know you love him, but-”

“I don’t love him.”

“Yeah, cause that’s you’re crying to me about him instead of the skirt chaser that fucked your brains out?”

“Meg.”

“I’m not being insensitive, I’m being honest. Bucky was there last night, clearly wanted you, was with you all night, and all you could think about was Steve. Today, even though Bucky is still texting you, you’re more upset that Steve isn’t because you know he knows. If I were you, I’d be more worried about the guy that’s used to fucking around breaking my heart, than the guy who isn’t,” she sighed.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Steve had his chance, I need to let him go. I’ve been in my room crying all day...I have to stop.”

“Can you?”

“I don’t have much of a choice do I?”

“Babe, if you could end up with Steve, I’d prefer that, but that’s not really an option. Even if he came back, he gave you the run around for a bit. Just focus on you for now and what you want. You always want to make others happy, and you need to focus on you.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right.”

“Do you need me to come over?”

“No, being alone is good for me right now.”

“Alright, I love you, Y/N. It’s gonna be okay.”

You let out a heavy sigh as you sobbed, “I love you,” and hung up.

You ignored Bucky for the rest of the day, feeling guilty about it, but knowing it was for the best. You’d done enough wrong and you truly did need to focus on you and what you wanted.

However, before you fell asleep, you broke down and checked all your texts from Steve.

O Captain, My Captain: Darlin, please just talk to me. I’m so sorry.

O Captain, My Captain: I’m not going out tonight, please just answer me.

O Captain, My Captain: Don’t do anything with Bucky. He’s my best friend, but he’s not worthy of you. He won’t treat you right and you know that.

O Captain, My Captain: Please just answer me.

O Captain, My Captain: If I could take back my actions, I would. I’m so sorry. If you’d just talk to me, I’d be able to make you understand.

O Captain, My Captain: Please talk to me. I miss you so much.

O Captain, My Captain: I’m going to sleep, but give me a call whenever.

O Captain, My Captain: Seriously? All night and you’re still not talking to me?

O Captain, My Captain: Baby, please just talk to me. We’ve never gone this long without talking, and I fucking hate it.

O Captain, My Captain: Y/N...please.

O Captain, My Captain: Bucky just left. You’ve made yourself loud and clear, and fine. I got it.

O Captain, My Captain: Do whatever the fuck you want.

When you woke up the following day, you had the biggest headache from crying, and the last thing you felt like doing was facing either of them. You had a job to do though, and criminals didn’t stop being criminals just because you had a broken heart. Even though you were slower to dress than usual, you were still on time for training, and God, it was brutal.

Bucky kept looking at you, Steve wouldn’t even look your way, and you couldn’t focus. You’d never had a day so bad, and all you wanted was to crawl back into bed. During the meeting after, you just leaned against the wall, barely listening to anything Nick had to say. The one time you bothered to look up, you looked over at Steve and was glaring at you.

God, you really fucking hated yourself.

“Doll, wait up!” Bucky called after you once the meeting was over.

You’d practically run out of the room.

“Bucky, I really just want-”

“What did I do wrong?” he breathed once he caught up to you. “Everything seemed fine on Saturday, I thought we both enjoyed it.”

You didn’t miss the way Steve quietly scoffed as he walked past the both of you.

“Bucky, I just-”

“Did I hurt you? What...I really like you, Y/N. I have for a while and I just...was I too eager?”

You honestly hadn’t expected that.

“Wait...what?”

“I never said anything, because I thought you and Steve had a thing going, but that’s clearly not happening. You were just so upset on Saturday and I wanted to make you happy, and I’ve wanted you for so long...what did I do?”

Trash. You felt like absolute trash.

“I need to get to my room.” “Y/N-”

“Just...I’ll talk to you later, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I just have a lot going on in my head. I just need to be by myself for a while.”

“Please just-”

“I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’m sorry.”

You can read the rest here.

92 notes · View notes

luvrhischier · 10 months

Note

Hi!! I love your writing!! Could you do something with Trevor where you guys broke up and you see eachother at a party and there is a bunch of angst??

just about over you // trevor zegras

pairing: trevor zegras × reader

word count: 2.9k (i think at this point 1k+ words should be expected. i don’t know when to stop.)

a/n: hi !!thank you for loving my stuff !!! it means a lot

a/n 2: based on the song “just about over you” by priscilla block

a/n 3: i love getting requests but i will always be scared that the person won’t like what i write so once again i’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted

warnings: alcohol/drinking, small mention of cheating, and angst with no comfort, no part two

I stopped looking for your truck

Every time I go somewhere

I don't scroll through the past anymore

It had been months and finally he was almost completely out of your mind. You didn't catch yourself looking for his bronco every time you left the house. You use to spend hours looking around trying to find it. Now you didn't even think about looking.

You didn't spend hours scrolling through your camera roll, remembering how it was. The photos had finally been deleted. Erased from your phone.

I'm finally putting on the shirt I like

Tight jeans, big hoops with my hair up high

It was your birthday. It was your day. The music was blasting through your speakers. Your best friends performing synchronized dance routines when you got back with the drinks for pre-gaming. Laughter filled the air. This is what you wanted for the rest of the night, for the rest of your life. No drama, no crying, no heartbreak.

You started doing your makeup while Sarah did your hair. Jacob was pouring shots and Emma was digging through your closet looking for what you were going to wear. 'Birthday sex is the goal tonight,' she had said earlier and honestly you weren't opposed to the idea. Sure it had been ages since you tried or thought about looking for a random hookup but you had always been good at it in the past. You’d be a little rusty but that wasn’t anything a few shots couldn’t fix.

"And we..." Sarah dragged out as she did some final touches on your hair, "are done!" She clapped. You made some final touches on your makeup before turning to your three best friends. They all broke out in applause. You bowed at their applause playfully.

"And now for the outfit." Emma smiled as she handed it to you.

You took a peek and saw the shirt laying on top of the folded pile. It was your old favorite clubbing and bar hopping top. The one that didn't leave much to the imagination and you loved it. The jeans she had picked showed off every curve. The chunky heeled boots tied everything together. You smirked. Birthday sex was the goal and you were definitely going to be scoring tonight.

"Time for accessories and shots!" Emma held out a pair of hoop earrings in one hand and a shot in the other. You gladly took the shot glass from her hand and threw it back. Your friends cheered before taking their own.

When everyone's shot were gone Emma, Sarah, and Jacob looked at each other with smirks. Jacob raised his eyebrows in question, and Emma nodded her head.

"You know I hate whatever is going on right now," you said as you squinted your eyes. You watched as Jacob and Sarah ran out of your room like they were running a marathon. "And I really hated that," you pointed. "What are y'all up to?"

"Don't worry about it," Emma smiled. "Turn around and close your eyes, I'm gonna lead you to the kitchen."

You huffed before turning around. As she led you backwards you could hear Sarah and Jacob shuffling around and whispering to each other. Finally Emma stopped and stepped away from you then the noises stopped.

"Turn around!" They yelled in unison. When you turned you saw Jacob holding a cake with 22 candles on it, Sarah held a birthday sash, and Emma had a birthday tiara. Tears welled in your eyes. Your heart melted. They began to sing happy birthday to you. You felt so much happiness in this moment, you felt so much love.

"Make a wish," Sarah whispered. You closed your eyes and tried to think of something. When you did you blew out the candles and smiled.

"Fuck you guys, you're gonna make me cry and ruin my makeup," you joked. They all put down what they were holding and ran up to you. "I love you guys so much." The group hug was a little suffocating but you didn't care. You all pulled away and Sarah checked to see if your makeup was still in tact.

"Put these on so we can go get black out drunk!" Emma squealed and grabbed the sash and tiara.

"I'm sorry but she is not wearing the tiara," Sarah said as she grabbed the sash and carefully put it on you.

"Why not?" Emma questioned

"Because I spent forever on her hair and I am not going to let anything ruin it." You and Jacob leaned forward against the counter and watched as Emma and Sarah playfully argued. Jacob bumped your shoulder.

"What'd you wish for?" He asked softly before swiping a finger full of icing from the cake.

"Even if I wanted to tell you, which I don't, Sarah would kill me. You know how she is about these kinds of things," you smiled.

"Fair enough," he bumped you again before standing up straight. "Okay, okay come on you two. She's wearing the sash that's good enough, now let's go," Jacob ushered us all to the door. Emma accepted defeat.

The walk to the bar was filled with laughter and linked arms. You couldn't wait, this bar had been your favorite bar since that night you randomly wondered into it. Sure it could get packed but the atmosphere was amazing. It felt warm and welcoming, but also alive and crazy and you loved it. You loved it so much and came so often that you even became friends with the owner, Will.

When you walked through the doors you flinched when you heard a loud 'Happy Birthday!' being screamed in your ear.

"Jesus Christ I think I just had a heart attack!" You huffed grabbing your chest. You looked up and saw Will. "Are you trying to kill your favorite regular?" You punched his arm.

"I would never! Who would drink all of my bottom shelf liquor?" He joked as he pulled in for a hug. You knew he was right so you didn't argue. He bent down to whisper in your ear. "All your drinks are on the house tonight just don't tell any of the people who offer to buy you a birthday drink." You looked up at him and laughed. "Hey, I gotta make some money before you drink me dry."

"Walk away before I punch you," you joked. You turned to your friends and huddled up. "Drinks on the house but I accept any and all birthday drink offers." You smiled. Emma pulled away immediately and put her fists in the air.

"To the bar!" She marched and dragged you all with her.

It was times like these that you were thankful you had such a high alcohol tolerance because you didn't know how many drinks you had been bought, and honestly you were okay with that. You got free alcohol and Will got money. A win-win.

You didn't even care that your feet were starting to hurt from all the dancing, you just wanted to keep going. You had jumped from dance partner to dance partner, and you didn't feel like stopping. You didn't remember the name of your current partner. You didn't care, it didn't matter. Before things could escalate Sarah ran up and grabbed your arm.

"I'm so sorry, I know y'all are really busy right now but I need to steal her," Sarah apologized. You didn't even get a chance to say anything before she dragged you off

"Sarah you're kinda hurting my arm."

"I'm sorry but we need to leave. Like right now." She pulled us all the way to the booth Jacob was at. You saw him gathering everyone's belongings.

"What why?! I don't want to leave. I wanna stay here. I'm having so much fun and I might end up having that birthday sex we talked about earlier," You smirked and wiggled your eyebrows.

"Guys guess who's here!" Emma screaming while she was running over to the booth. When she saw you her mouth instantly closed, she must've thought you were still dancing.

Now you needed to know who was here.

The least you could've done was give me the bar tonight

There was a group of guys, but only one stood out to you. His back was facing you but you didn't need to see his face to know who it was. Trevor Zegras. You couldn't believe it. He knew what today was. He knew what this place meant to you. He knew you'd be here tonight.

As much as that voice inside your head was telling you to leave, you didn't want to listen. This was supposed to be your day. You saw him turn around in your direction but you quickly looked away before you could make eye contact. You let out a big breath.

"It is my goddamn birthday. This is my goddamn bar. And I am going to stay and celebrate. I'm over him," you were sure of it. You had to be.

Sarah, Jacob, and Emma looked at each other, not believing you one bit.

"Are you sure?" Jacob asked.

"Yes, I'm sure," you responded quickly, maybe too quickly. "I gonna go get another drink!" You tried to sound excited, you weren’t convincing but before any of them could saying anything you ran to the bar.

You could've stayed with the guys, acting like you didn't see me

But you had to walk up, messing me up

"The usual?" Will asked.

"Not this time. I need something strong. Like really, really strong and please make it a double,” you begged then sat on one of the bar stools placing your head in your hands. You heard the glass being placed in front of you.

"Take this one slow please," Will said. You stood up.

"Yes, sir." You saluted, trying to keep things light and your spirit bright. You turned to walk back to your friends but you collided with something, with someone. You prayed to the universe that it wasn't him. You begged for it not to be him. But you could tell from his cologne that it was, the tattoos on his arm only serving as complete confirmation. You refused to look up. You just continued to stare and your now soaked top.

"Here." He tried handing you some napkins. No, no you couldn't be here. You shoved past him and ran to the bathroom.

I thought that I was moving on, but now I'm starting back over again

Why'd you have to come back in right then

Right when I was just getting good and gone

This wasn't supposed to happen. You had gotten over him. You were moving on. But now all of that progress and healing was being destroyed. All he did was walk into a bar and it started all over again. It was hurting like it was the night that everything ended. The night you caught him with another girl in the bed you two shared.

You felt like you couldn't breathe, your heart was racing, and your legs were about to give out.

Your friends, you needed to call your friends. You searched your pockets for your phone but it wasn't there. You had left it on the bar.

"Fuck!" You screamed.

You had to get out of here as quickly as possible. You had to make a run for the door. You could make it back to your apartment and use your laptop to FaceTime Sarah and tell her where you were. That was the plan, it was the only plan you could think of right now.

You took a few quick breaths before putting your head down and left of the bathroom. You didn't care if you accidentally bumped into someone as you made your escape. You only cared about getting out of there.

Stepping outside felt like heaven. You were free and you could breathe again. You leaned back against the brick wall to catch your breath.

That breath was quickly taken away again when he ran out to door, looking for you. He turned to you and you instantly turned to speed away. You made it a few feet before he yelled.

"I have your phone!" You stopped but you didn't turn around.

"I don’t care. Go give it to Will, or Sarah, Jacob, Or Emma." You couldn't look at him.

"Why would I do that when you're right here?" His voice was closer, much closer.

"Trevor…" saying his name out loud for the first time in months felt like you were speaking a foreign language. "Please walk away. Turn around and leave me alone." When you didn't hear retreating footsteps but felt a hand on your shoulder you wanted to scream again.

You must've heard I was moving on

You turned and looked at him for the first time since that night. The pictures in your phone you use to look at didn't count. You couldn't reach out and touch him like you could right now.

"What are you doing here?" Your voice sounded weak and you hated it.

"It's your birthday," he stated like it was obvious. You wanted to punch him.

"Be serious Trevor, why are you really here?"

"A friend of mine was here earlier and he told me you were here. Said you were drinking and dancing with anybody and everybody." He put the hand not holding your phone into his pocket and shrugged slightly.

"You heard that I was having fun, that I was moving on and you decided that you couldn't let that happen?!" You scoffed.

He said nothing he just looked down at your phone and saw that the polaroid of the two of you at one of Jack's bonfires wasn't in the back of your phone case anymore. He turned it over and saw your lockscreen was no longer the picture of you and him hugging after the game he shot his first big league goal.

"If you’re here to give me my phone, then please just hand it over and leave," you tried to sound demanding but you came up short.

He held it out to you. Your fingers touched as you grabbed it making you grab your phone and pull away as fast as you could. Fuck. It was all about to pour out of you.

I'm all about you

When I was just about, just about over you

I was just about, just about over you

"I was so close to being over you," you screamed. "So fucking close! And then you walked into my favorite bar on my fucking birthday. I wasn't looking for you and your stupid bronco every time I left the house anymore. All of the pictures and videos of you were deleted." You had to stop to breathe properly. You walked closer to him. "It's been 9 months. I haven’t partied in 9 months and when I finally do you decide that I can't?! That I can’t go out and have fun. That I don't get to finally be happy again. You decide that I should spend the rest of my life heartbroken over you. Fuck you! You are so fucking selfish!” You hit his chest over and over again.

“Okay that’s enough,” he said as he grabbed your wrists to stop you from hitting him again.

“I deserve to be happy! I didn't say a thing when I heard you were out partying every night for weeks on end, hooking up with a new girl every time. I let you be. I didn't show up and ruin things for you. Though I guess there wasn't anything for me to ruin. You were already over our relationship before it even ended.”

“That’s not true,” he interrupted.

“Yes it is! But I wasn't. I had to work to get over it and I almost completely over you and now I'm gonna be hung up on you again for god knows how long. You have ruined all of the success I made, I have to start over! So if that was your mission coming here tonight then congratulations Trevor! Mission accomplished!" You couldn't see through your tears. Everything was a blur and you were thankful because you couldn't look at him. You pulled your wrists away from his grasp and stumbled backwards.

You heard the bar door swing open and even though you couldn't see you knew who it was. Sarah and Emma came to your side. You couldn't stand anymore. Your legs had given out. You collapsed onto the ground and although Emma and Sarah desperately tried to catch you,they couldn’t.

"Trevor, I really need you to leave right now before I end up going to jail for aggravated assault." You heard Will say through gritted teeth. You saw another figure walk towards you and you knew it was Jacob. He grabbed you and pulled you up.

"Let's get you home and get some sleep." He whispered sweetly.

You were mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. You needed to sleep. You needed all the rest you could get because if you were going to have to relive the past 9 months. The pain, the suffering, the heartache. The crying, the screaming, the constant thoughts that you weren't good enough. If you were going to have to get over Trevor Zegras all over again, you needed all the energy you could get.

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras angst #trevor zegras one shot #trevor zegras blurb #trevor zegras x y/n #trevor zegras fic #tz11 #nhl #nhl x reader #nhl imagine

269 notes · View notes

before-it-felt-like-a-sin · 3 months

Text

What I Want

summary: you were flirting with everyone at the party for fun. Definitely not because you wanted to make a certain blonde jealous.

Warnings: mentions of hookups and slight angst (nothing nsfw), smoking and drinking mentioned.

-----------------------------------------------------

"God, Jackie. You're so right." You brushed your fingers across your friend's arm, internally praying that Natalie was watching you.

You and Nat had been hooking up for a while. Just casually, something that stemmed out of boredom. You weren't close enough for it to be awkward, but you obviously weren't strangers. It was the perfect situation.

Until it wasn't.

In the past month, you'd found yourself actually falling for her. It's like a switch had flipped, and you saw her completely differently. Her husky voice wasn't just sexy, it was cute. You felt emotional when you kissed. And you fucking hated it.

You didn't do dating, you didn't do feelings. And you knew Natalie felt the same. That's why it worked.

"Y/n, are you even listening?" Jackie asked, snapping you out of your trance.

"What?"

"Y/n, please. If you're not going to pay attention, I'll find someone else to talk to." She made a move to get up, and you just let her. Clearly, this flirting thing wasn't gonna work.

Although, maybe you shouldn't just flirt with Jackie. Maybe you should flirt with anyone. That would have to get her attention. Right?

It was worth a shot, at least. But you were gonna need another drink before you could fathom flirting with anyone but Nat.

Shit. You had to stop thinking like that. Tonight wasn't about Nat. Tonight was about getting over her. By possibly getting under someone else.

Either way, you needed another drink.

-----------------------------------------------------

As you danced to some pop song in the middle of Lottie's living room with Shauna, you felt eyes on you. You looked up to see Natalie staring at you with an unreadable look on her face.

Looking away, you tried to focus on the way your hips moved to the beat.

I want the fireworks

You put your hands on Shauna's hips and pulled her closer.

I want the chemistry

With that, the two of you were so close you could feel the heat radiating off her body. You moved your hips in time to the beat, forcing Shauna to do the same.

I want that girl right over there to wanna date me

You kept trying to ignore the lyrics of the song, kept trying to force whatever was happening with Shauna.

"I'm gonna get a drink! Do you want anything?" You yelled over the speakers. Shauna just shook her head in response

That's what I want, there's nothing wrong with what I want, yeah yeah

With that, you ventured to the kitchen and poured yourself another drink. You couldn't remember if this was your fourth or fifth. Didn't matter. You'd be fine.

When you looked up, Shauna wasn't alone anymore. Now Jackie had taken your place, her arms where yours were mere minutes ago. You couldn't be upset, not really. It's not like you wanted Shauna. Or Jackie.

The Vodka didn't burn your throat anymore, in fact you could barely taste it. You took another sip, trying to look busy. You hoped that someone else would approach you, so that you could go dance with them.

"Hey, y/n." A voice came from behind you.

You turned around to see it was Van, with an exhausted looking Taissa in tow.

"Hey. What's up?" Your words slurred a little, and Van seemed to take note of that, but she didn't say anything.

"We're gonna head out. Did you still need a ride?"

"Nah, I'm sure I'll find one. Or Lottie will let me stay the night." You took another sip from your cup, trying to maintain composure as best as possible. You didn't need Tai or Van trying to convince you to leave now. You were going to have fun tonight, goddammit.

"Are you sure? I don't know if that's the best idea."

"Can a girl not have fun anymore? You're not my mom." With that, you walked away. You'd probably have to deal with a pissed off van in the morning, but that wasn't drunk you's problem.

You heard Van say something as you walked away, but you didn't quite pick up on what it was. Again, wasn't your problem.

That's when you saw her. Natalie. Leaning up against the wall, no, being held up against the wall. All while some random boy kissed her. And she was into it. Pulling him closer. You could practically feel the heat radiating off of them from across the room.

Fuck. This was supposed to be your night. And somehow, Natalie had made your plan into hers. You hadn't made her jealous. She was making you jealous. Fuck.

You pushed your way through the crowd to the sliding doors that led onto the porch. Stepping out into the cool night air, you took a deep breath. No one was outside now, seeing that it was near freezing. You were shivering in your jeans and cropped sweater.

Patting your pockets, you found what you were looking for. You pulled out a lighter and a pack of Marlboro Reds. There were only two left. You grabbed one out of the package and brought it to your lips. As soon as it was between your teeth, you flicked the lighter, attempting to get it to light.

You were so focused on the lighter that you didn't hear the back door open.

"Need help with that?" Natalie's voice startled you, and you damn near dropped your lighter.

"No," you said, your cigarette still in your mouth.

"Are you sure? Because it looks like that isn't working very well for you," she responded, nodding to the lighter.

"Fuck off. I don't need your help." You continued flicking the lighter, but it still wasn't working.

Natalie, content to watch you struggle for a bit, just stood there. Finally, she seemed to take pity on you.

"Here, seriously, let me."

"Fine." At this point, you wanted the cigarette more than you wanted to act like you didn't care.

She walked over to you and pulled out a lighter. You, expecting her to hand it to you, stuck out your hand. Instead,she cupped the cigarette with one hand, and lit it with the other. You shivered at the closeness.

When she was finished, she took a step back from you.

"Thanks," you said, exhaling smoke.

"Well, it wasn't out of the goodness of my heart. I was hoping you'd share."

"I'm not giving you my last cigarette."

"We can share this one." She looked at you expectantly.

You took another drag, hoping that if you were quiet long enough, she'd leave you alone.

"Dude, what's your problem? You're being hella weird." So much for hoping she'd leave you alone.

"I'm not being weird. I don't want to share."

"No, you are being weird. You're not inside with everyone else, you've had like five drinks when you normally stop at two. You were dancing with Shauna. You didn't leave with Van and Tai, even though you should've because you're fucking wasted. You didn't let me help you. You were going to smoke alone, which is so unlike you. Seriously, what is your problem?" She seemed so exasperated. And a little bit hurt.

"What does it matter that I was dancing with Shauna. She's my friend."

"That wasn't a very friendly dance."

"But it wasn't weird of me to dance with her. She is my friend. And I can dance with who I want. And I can drink what I want. And I can leave when I want. You're not my fucking girlfriend, Nat. We're just hooking up. You made that pretty clear by practically eating that guy's face." You took another drag of your cigarette.

"Oh, so that's what this is. You're jealous."

"Yeah, Nat. I'm fucking jealous. Because we've been hooking up for a month, yet you never even look at me unless we're alone. And I'd be fucking stupid, a fucking idiot to catch feelings, but I did. So yeah. I'm jealous. But that doesn't matter to you. Because we're just hooking up."

When Natalie didn't respond, you took that as your cue to leave. As you turned to leave, your eyes filled with tears, and you prayed they wouldn't spill over. You didn't know where you were going, you just knew you had to leave. You couldn't be at this party, couldn't be here with Nat.

It hit you that you didn't have a ride when you had made it about halfway through Lottie's giant house. Which meant you had to walk home. In the cold. Without a coat. While drunk.

At least Natalie wouldn't be there.

-----------------------------------------------------

It was fucking cold.

You didn't think it would be this bad when you left Lottie's. But it was cold. And you were tired. And it was dark. And your feet hurt. And you forgot your headphones.

The sound of a car engine pulled you out of your trance.

"Y/n, what the fuck?" Natalie pulled up next to you in her beat-up little car.

"I'm not talking to you."

"You don't have to. But you're not walking anywhere this late. Get in."

"No."

"Fine then. But I'm not going to leave you until you get home. And at least you'll be warm in the car."

"Leave me alone." You just kept walking. But true to her word, Natalie crept along with you.

"No."

"I don't want to talk to you. Or even look at you."

"You made that pretty clear when you just walked away earlier."

"Then why do you not seem to understand that?"

"God fucking dammit, y/n! Get in the car!" She was pissed now.

"I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity. Do you know how pissed Van would be if you got kidnapped because I didn't drive you home?"

"Oh, so you're not doing this because you want to do it."

"That's not what I said. You're twisting my words. Please, y/n, just get in the damn car. We don't have to talk. We can sit in silence. But just get in."

You were tired of fighting with her. Plus, your feet were really starting to hurt.

"Fine."

"Thank you."

She put the car in park, and you walked over to the passenger side. You opened the door and got in. Once you were buckled, she put the car in gear and started driving.

For the whole drive, the two of you sat in silence, the only sound coming from the radio. When she pulled into your driveway, she got out of the car with you.

"What are you doing?" You asked.

"Well, you're drunk as hell. And neither of your parents seem to be home. So."

"You don't need to baby me."

"Maybe I just don't want to go home."

You walked to the front door, hoping that she'd just leave you alone. But she didn't. She kept walking with you, and when you walked into your house she walked in after you.

"Why are you here, Nat? Really," you asked.

"Do you want the real answer?"

"Obviously."

"I'm trying to prove to you that you're not just a hookup to me."

You scoffed. "Yeah, right. Funny, considering what you were doing earlier."

"I was jealous. Jealous of Shauna. Jealous of Jackie. I wanted you to see me. So that you wanted me."

"Don't mess with me, Nat. It's fine, okay? I shouldn't have even said anything. You don't need to be here." With that, you turned to walk up the stairs, and promptly tripped over your own feet.

At the sight of you on the ground, Natalie let out a small laugh. But when she saw the tears in your eyes, she immediately walked over to you.

"Hey, y/n, it's fine. You're okay. Let's get you to bed." She grabbed both of your hands and pulled you up.

When she wrapped her arm around your waist to keep you upright, you didn't protest. You were just so damn tired, and you weren't sure if you'd be able to make it up the stairs by yourself.

After what felt like hours, you finally made it to your bedroom. It took all your strength not to just lie down on the floor and fall asleep there. Instead, Natalie led you to your bed and sat you down. She then started undoing the laces on your boots and taking them off for you.

"Why are you doing this? I've been nothing but a bitch all night."

"Because I like you, y/n. And I like spending time with you. Even if you are a bitch." With that, she finished pulling your shoe off and sat on the bed next to you. "Do you know why I started hooking up with you in the first place?"

"I assumed because I was there, and a little bit to piss Jackie off."

Nat laughed at that. "It wasn't that. Although pissing Jackie off was a bonus. But I hooked up with you because I thought you were cool. More than that, even. I wanted to date you. But you always had the whole 'hookups only' mentality."

"Yeah, but so did you," You add, a little confused.

"Oh, I'm not judging you. It's just that it's hard to have feelings for someone who is so opposed to dating. And since I only wanted you, I mean, I decided hookups could be for me too."

"Oh fuck off. Don't lie to me."

"Is it that hard to believe that I could want you?" She looks into your eyes as she asks that, as if trying to look straight into your soul.

"No comment. I'm going to bed." You could tell Nat wanted to press you, but she didn't. Instead, she got up off your bed.

"Where are you going?" You ask.

"Home? I mean you're going to bed. Why should I stay?"

"I thought you didn't want to go home. Plus, it's not safe for you to drive this late. Just stay. You can sleep here."

"If you don't care. That's fine."

"Clearly, I don't."

With that, you finally let yourself lie down. Getting comfortable, you buried yourself under your comforter and waited for Nat to come in with you. When after a few minutes, you still hadn't felt her crawl in next to you, you sat up.

"Are you going to come here?" You looked to see her lying on the ground.

"You're asking me to share your bed?" She responded.

"It's a king. Yes. I'm asking you to share. I know how big of a bitch you can be if you haven't slept right."

"Maybe I want to sleep on the floor."

"If you want to, be my guest. But I don't get why you would." You rested your head back on your pillow, acting as if you didn't care if she slept in your bed or not.

For a couple of minutes, it seemed like she really was going to sleep on the floor. Then you felt her familiar weight on the bed next to you.

"Goodnight."

-----------------------------------------------------

Three hours later, and you were still lying there, trying to fall asleep. Every move you made, you worried you'd wake Natalie up.

You look over at her, fast asleep. Her blonde hair was fanned out across the pillow, and her mouth hung open a little bit. Every so often she'd let out a soft sigh. She didn't look nearly as badass as she normally did. You'd never seen her like this before.

As slowly and gently as you could, you tried to get out of your bed. When you swung a foot over the edge, you felt her stir. You froze at the feeling, praying you hadn't woken her up.

"Y/n? What are you doing?" There went trying not to wake her.

"Nothing. I have to go to the bathroom. Go back to bed," you whisper in response.

She seems to be content with your answer and moves to go back to sleep. When she does, you get up off the bed so that you can make your way to the bathroom. You don't actually need to use it, but you didn't know what else to do.

For a few minutes, all you do is sit on the edge of the bathtub and think. Think about your night, think about Natalie. Think about how tonight, you were supposed to end up under someone else. Not next to the girl you wanted to make jealous.

But you did make her jealous. At least that's what she claimed. But you weren't sure. Natalie could literally have anyone that she wanted. Why would she choose you? The chubby lesbian who masked her feelings with an air of "I don't care".

God. This was confusing.

By now, it had been at least five minutes. Any longer and Natalie might think that something happened to you. Or that you were taking a shit. Honestly you didn't know which was worse. Either way, you moved to get up, bracing yourself on the cool ceramic of the bathtub.

When you made it back to your bedroom, Natalie seemed to have fallen back asleep. As gently as you could, you slid back into your spot on the bed. This time, though, you fell asleep almost immediately after lying down.

-----------------------------------------------------

You woke to sunlight streaming through your light green curtains, creating patterns on the wall and bathing the room in a pale sage light. For a moment, everything was perfect.

Until you realized that in your sleep, Natalie had rolled over so she was practically on top of you. There was no way you'd be able to get up without waking her.

"Nat... Natalie," you whispered, attempting to wake her gently. In response she did absolutely nothing.

"Natalie. Wake up." This time, you flicked her in the forehead.

She groaned and just buried her head closer into your shoulder, not seeming to realize what she was doing.

"Natalie, come on." It took her a few seconds, but this time she realized.

"Shit, y/n. Shit. Sorry." She immediately jumped away from you, and you shivered at the loss of contact. Her warmth had been nice.

"Don't worry about it. You were asleep. It's not your fault."

For a few moments, you both just remained in your bed, thinking. Neither of you spoke, until you could take it any longer.

"Did you mean what you said. Last night." You asked.

"Which thing?"

"About. I don't know. Having feelings for me?" Your voice was small, and you worried that you had imagined Natalie's words from the night before.

"What does it matter? I think you made it clear that you don't like me that way." She sounded hurt, and you hated that.

"I didn't say that. At all."

"Oh, so you're telling me that you like me, too?" Her tone was sarcastic, and you let out a breath at how mad she seemed.

"That's what I'm implying, yeah."

"What are you implying?"

"Do I really have to fucking spell it out for you?" Now it was your turn to be upset. Of course she was turning this into a game. Or course she was just making a joke of your feelings for her.

"Until you tell me what you want this to be clearly, I plan to act like I have no idea what you're talking about." She smirked at this, and it made your blood boil.

"Okay, Natalie. Fuck you. I'm done with this shit." You pushed yourself up off the bed and made your way to the door.

"Y/n, wait. I was just messing around."

"Yeah, messing around with my fucking feelings. Heaven forbid I have a crush on you. Heaven forbid you have any fucking decency. I get it. You aren't into me. That's fine. But don't make that more of a problem than it is."

This time, when you moved to open the door, you felt a hand close around your wrist. When you turned around, Natalie's face was inches from yours, your noses were almost touching.

"Nat-"

"Can I kiss you. Please."

Before you could even finish nodding, her lips were pressed against yours. Your hands moved to her waist, pulling her in closer, while hers cupped your face with a gentle touch you didn't know she possessed. She smelled like cigarettes, amber, and something you couldn't quite place. The mixture was intoxicating.

When she pulled away, a soft whine escaped your lips, and she grinned at the noise.

"Did that prove it to you, princess?"

"I don't know. We might have to try it again to really get it though my head."

She let out a small laugh at that and made a move to kiss you again, but before she could, your stomach growled.

"On second thought, maybe we should get breakfast."

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets season 1 #yellowjackets showtime #natalie scatorccio #natalie yellowjackets #natalie scatorccio x reader #natalie scatorccio x curvy! reader

97 notes · View notes

sscrubberhose · 29 days

Note

Ya got any dialtown headcanons? :3

hooo boy. ive been chewing on this all day and I think i have a decent amount to say!

Spoilers for Dialtown!

Tw for mentions of suicidal ideation and religious guilt

Phone/Typegingi:

-Is aware of everything that happens in my fics but forgets

-is more aware of how people perceive them than people give them credit for, wants to make everyone happy

-has a strong fear of being alone, which is why they bother people so relentlessly. if they were to be fully ignored for an extended period of time they would have a breakdown

-Has both the phone and the typewriter head and can change them out at will, dont ask where they keep them.

-has bitten theoroar many, many times and will do so again. is even more fearful and hateful of him after the zoo explosion

-has a lot of love to give and genuinely prefers being around their friends

-has a level of intelligence that is genuinely sort of surprising sometimes. this intelligence is used at random

-is surprisingly easy and hard to kill at the same time

-the narrator is actually a separate entity to them who cares about them very much

-seems to be passively suicidal but no one can tell if theyre joking or not

-roger rabbit rules, whatever biology is funniest is what they have

-perceived height changes based off of this rule as well. no one notices.

-breaks into town hall once a month for funsies

-enjoys sweet things quite a bit

-autistic beast

Randy:

-is actually a decent cartoonist, but rarely draws due to hand pain. likes drawing gingi and oliver the most

-has a lot of religious guilt due to growing up catholic with a very very strict, religious father, left home as soon as he could. also why he is afraid to talk to God.(hobo)

-father harped on him his entire childhood about being a burden, now feels that he owes the world for existing. this is slowly healing.

-due to his upbringing hes still learning how to function as an adult, i.e cleaning, cooking for himself, things like that. hes working on it!

-has sensory issues, has ASD

-fear of cgi animals comes from having to watch weird religious propaganda films for kids when he was young. he is getting over it thanks to oliver.

-extremely observant and notices things a lot of people don't, but usually doesnt say anything for fear of being annoying

-knows shooty and stabby on a first name basis(not that he knows whos who)

-sees Norm as a father figure but would never admit that

-has a long list of phobias that hes working on recovering from, but is too nervous to go to therapy for

-has a LOT of plushies in the ticket booth that Oliver and Gingi have given him, refuses to get rid of any of them

-taking the bandage off wont instantly kill him, he doesn't know this.

-can skateboard, does not do this often

-gets sick very easily, has to be forced to rest as he tries to insist hes not sick

-is roommates with Oliver, they have a bunk bed

-got his number changed so the hotline wasnt tied to him anymore

-is actually a good singer, never sings due to thinking he sucks. Will hum to himself while working at the ticket booth

Karen;

-Has actually gotten fairly close to the other datables since the conclusion of the game, doesnt know how to express this

-Visits Dialtown for a few months out of the year to catch up and spend time with her friends

-part of her contract with helping rebuild was better wages for those who worked at the bank. It took a lot of arguing but she felt that no one should suffer like she did.

-expresses her love for her friends by making them ponysonas. Is a huge pegasister. will infodump about it for hours to anyone who will listen

-enjoys botanical illustrations the best, next to drawing horses

-draws horses with normal horse heads as a form of abstraction

-puts capsaicin oil in her paints so Gingi will stop drinking them. This did not work.

-enjoys vintage movies and game shows and talks at length with Oliver about them when they go out for coffee or dinner together.

-she and randy doodle together sometimes

-also has severe sensory issues and has safe outfits she wears. will cry if she has to touch certain fabrics. (LOOKING AT YOU CRUSHED VELVET)

-safe foods are microwave dinners and pasta, but she keeps her diet balanced.

-her and Norm get along now and will sometimes go for hikes and chat about life(and ways to wrangle gingi)

-allergic to shrimps

-can play piano

Oliver:

-Got a new therapist who doesnt think hes weird or annoying(it didnt phase him but thats not groovy to say to someone)

-has POTS, often needs to sit down at work so he doesnt faint.

-is a HUGE horror fan, could tell you everything about the behind the scenes of every major and minor horror movie to come out in the last decade.

-works as a haunt actor for the Dialtown Haunted House every single Halloween, wants to run it someday

-has a log of every new thing he notices about Gingis biology, the log is three books long now.

-Really wants to run a youtube channel where he does amateur ghost hunting with randy, has yet to convince randy that this is a good idea

-is very physically affectionate, though he does ask permission first before touching anyone!

-Has had top and bottom surgery and is comfortable where his transition is, thankfully his insurance under Mr. Dickens covered it! (Mingus isnt a TOTAL monster)

-has a digital scrap book of all his favorite memories with his friends

-makes rage comics unironically.

-favorite color is actually black, red just seems to be his thing!

-has been legally adopted by Mr. Dickens but decided to keep his last name as Swift because "it was rad."

-is actually friends with most of the ghosts and poltergeists that live in the cinema/scareshack

-kept the popcorn and soda dispensers, but got the soda dispensers to dispense SODA and not...whatever the fuck it was doing before.

-helped renovate the basement of the cinema into a haunted maze that he helped design, the theme changes once a year!

-got those unicycle lessons and knows how to juggle as well!

-likes rollerskating, has Heelys on all the time

-allergic to peanuts

-can play guitar

Norm:

-Is aware that Gingi sees the face on the sticky note change and thinks its sort of funny

-Is actually good friends with God and the two go out to lunch once or twice a month

-enjoys fishing and will take Randy and Oliver on fishing trips, Gingi usually follows regardless of invite.

-Sees himself as a father figure to most of the dateables, and is willing to fill in that role.

-apologized to Karen for his behavior by baking her fresh bread. is actually an extremely good cook

-irises and pupils are both void black due to exposure to the wormhole. He has not noticed this. Eyes used to be honey brown.

-Has to stop Mingus from doing a new evil scheme once a month, has a spray bottle for this purpose.

-does actually have other outfits for when the space suit needs to be washed, is never seen outside the house when this happens

-Oliver, Karen, and Randy have seen his real face, they were like "cool" as Gingi is just...far weirder.

-i imagine him as strawberry blonde. Short hair, either buzz cut or just short. maybe some stubble. I dont have a good image of what his face looks like, it is just bag to me

-not great at public speaking but REALLY good at pretending to be

-is actually very good at using technology but will sometimes pretend not to be just to tease Oliver.(it works every time)

-can also play guitar

Bigfoot:

-...no.

-okay okay i have one. You could use his fur to make yarn IF you washed it. You will never be able to get close enough to brush him though.

Misc headcanons:

-heads can be repurposed after death, like cadaver bones!

-the more popular headtype for modern business men and women is a laptop

-after what happened to Callum Crown, the answering machines function was completely separated from memory storage

-Snakes have syringes for heads

-peter and his wife are poly and want roger to be their third, but roger is as dense as a brick and peters too formal to just say it out loud.

-Harry and Jack are a couple in this universe, Jack is just a very odd boss to work for regardless

-Billy is Abel's kid. The mother is unknown. probably a one night stand.

-the swans miss randy :(

-there are a few headtypes that are banned for various reasons, one of which is having a megaphone AS your head.

-Roger is autistic and has a stutter, and sometimes has to use ASL to communicate. Peter knows ASL for this reason

-The Narrator could talk to the others, but only if it was an emergency

-all Dialtown OCs are canon. theyre in town somewhere, having fun and living their lives!

-Dialtown is bigger than shown in game, including the town square which has a fountain and a park surrounding it, as well as a skate park, rec center, arcade, a pizza place, etc.

-all the dateables have met satan at least once, they just didnt know thats who that was

-shooty and stabby are dating, theyre just very bromance about it. good for them...

-rotery phone heads are coming back in fashion as a sort of 'retro' vibe.

-getting prosthetics/emergency plastic surgery and medical care is actually quite accessible.

-jerry and his wife come visit dialtown every christmas soley so that gingi doesnt run all the way out there to visit them and get hopelessly lost. theyre doing quite well!

-there are competent members of the dialtown mob but they dont really do much other than hang out at the bar

if i think of anymore Ill let you know!! thanks for askin!

#dialtown #answered #text post #headcanon #sorry this was so bloody long

30 notes · View notes

rougevingirl · 7 months

Note

bobal (9) - jenna ortega please? ❤️‍🩹

❝Unfinished Paths❞

Character: Tara Carpenter

Words: 1117

Warnings: none

Wine: Bobal

Number: 9

Prompt: exes to lovers - both ending up in the same small town 8 years later…what could possibly happen?

❝prompts with wine❞

I really tried to write for Jenna, but as the text developed I realized that it was better for Tara, nothing makes much sense, but I hope you like it. There's no happy ending here, just anguish.

"It's so strange that we've ended up here together after all these years, but you still don't want to talk to me. You're just going to spend the whole evening drinking wine and eating takeaway, aren't you?" she asked. You had no idea why you always had to talk about these things now, always at the wrong time. Why couldn't you just get on with it as an adult?

"Are you sure you don't want to get drunk one last time before you leave for New York? We haven't done that since we graduated from high school." - It was true; you hadn't even realized it until now. Should you have known that your only friend and girlfriend, ex now, would be living in New York City after she finally graduated, after all the turbulent events how could she go on in Woodboro? You should have known that one day that relationship would end and leave a gaping wound in your chest, even after years it still hurt so much... And yet, he didn't seem to care. Could it be that she was so used to it? So used to it that she no longer missed him? Miss the relationship they had?

No, it wasn't that at all. No. There was something else bothering her. The point was that there was nothing wrong with her. She had always been kind to you, and still was. She was kind and helpful and very pretty. But it was more than that. The way she said things made them seem a little different from what they really were. Not in a bad way, of course, because how would she know what she wanted if her life revolved around the past, around what other people wanted? She probably wouldn't understand that at all, she wouldn't understand herself. It was just that she seemed to expect you to respond in the same way that everyone else did. And that... wasn't right at all.

There was something else wrong with her, you realized now, something beyond all the troubled events of the last few years. The reason you never wanted to think about her again was because you knew exactly what it was. Because you remembered. You had been best friends before graduation. Girlfriends. And then she'd gone to New York City and you'd broken up and then barely talked for months. Now, suddenly, you were back in the same city? What had happened between then and now? Why did you feel so lonely? What was she hiding? What had changed? Why was everything so much easier before than now? Everything was still "the same", but it felt like things had changed so much. Why couldn't you understand? Why couldn't you see the signs? Why couldn't she? Was there a part of her that wasn't even there anymore? Something inside her was gone. You knew that. He had seen it happen many times before. But when? When? Where? Had it been before or after graduation? Had you even had a normal conversation? Or were you the only one who had noticed? It was so strange; you wished you could just ask her the questions you were thinking, but you didn't think she would answer them anyway. And you really didn't want to know.

"I'm sorry to keep bringing it up," she continued. "But it seems that every time I try to mention it, you run away like the plague. Remember our first date? Remember how uncomfortable we were at first? Remember how nervous and awkward we were when we tried to kiss? Can't we just start again?"

Yes. Yes, they could. You remembered. You also remembered that it had been amazing and wonderful, everything that should happen with a first kiss. So why did you feel so miserable now? You looked down at the table, remembering those days. Your eyes fixed on his face before you slowly shook your head in denial. "That's not it at all. We went on lots of dates and kissed several times. Don't get me wrong. I love kissing you. More than anything. And I can promise you that I would never push you away to avoid kissing you." It may have sounded silly, but honestly, you meant every word you were saying. You loved kissing her. It had been the only time you had really felt happy, fulfilled and alive. It had been perfect. And maybe you needed to go out with her to forget about it for a while and create new memories with someone else. Someone other than her. And Tara, someone who wasn't you. "But I can't. I really like you. But I can't..."

She frowned in confusion, also looking perplexed. "Why? If that's really the case, then why are you so determined not to see me, not to be with me?"

Because you couldn't do that. "Because I want to. Very much. I want to see you all the time. But I can't. Because my life is here in Woodsboro. This is my home. And I don't belong anywhere else. I mean, it may sound silly, but I love this town. It's where I belong. My family is here. And my work is here. And my friends are here, and my girlfriend is here..." You stopped when she opened her mouth to speak again. That was very difficult to explain. You had to find some kind of excuse. "And I've decided to stay here, I know everything that's happened has been terrible, but I'm just leaving here to pursue my life in Boston, where my girlfriend's family lives. And maybe I'll go on like this forever. Maybe it's selfish, but I'm not going to let anything else ruin my perfect life here in Woodsboro or Boston maybe..."

She stared at you, clearly not liking the answer that came out of your mouth. Her lips formed an "o", obviously not expecting it. "I see," she finally replied. She stood up abruptly and turned to leave the restaurant. "Well then, I guess we should move on. Goodbye, Y/n. Have a good night."

You said nothing. Simply watched her walk away. You hated yourself so much. You were a coward. It was just that you were afraid. Afraid to accept what had happened before your graduation. Afraid to accept what was happening now. Afraid that maybe it was a big mistake, a sign, something that would change everything. And, above all, afraid that you were falling in love with someone who wouldn't fall in love with who you were now. That was your biggest fear. That you would become just another person she would fall in love with, but who would never be good enough.

81 notes · View notes

thatfreshi · 7 months

Text

Muscle Memory (Uni AU P. 12)

tw - abuse, sexual trauma, drinking, slight mention of homophobia

That evening, after all of your friends have dispersed, after getting absolutely nothing done, you end up in Astarion's dorm. You're both sitting on his bed while he does your makeup, which he insisted upon. He complains every time you accidentally move or your eyelids twitch, but you know he doesn't actually care all that much.

"You know, you're the only person I've ever let in here."

You back away from his makeup brush.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Don't really like sharing my space with people. It's one of the only things I have that's truly mine, but I don't mind sharing it with you."

"Are you sure? Because we could always hang out in my dorm, or somewhere else."

"No, really, you're one of the only people I trust to be in here. You don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong, you don't ask too many questions, you just exist here, like I do."

"I mean I'd never just look through your stuff. I feel like that's the bare minimum."

"You'd think so, but it gets to a point in a career like mine where nothing is really yours anymore."

At this point, Astarion has started on your face again, mindlessly talking.

"You said you started at sixteen right? Must've been hard, losing all that control so young."

"Well, I mean I didn't really have a choice. After all, I did get kicked out, and jobs for normal teenagers don't really cover the expenses of someone trying to be an adult already. Besides, I got in with a lot of disgusting agents, people who shouldn't have been involved with someone my age anyways."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Like I said, I did it to myself."

"You were just a kid though."

"Yeah, I guess I was."

The conversation goes silent for a moment as he grabs something else from his cosmetics bag.

"Why did you get kicked out, if you don't mind me asking?"

He raises an eyebrow slightly.

"Hm, no one ever actually asks me that. Then again, I guess I don't really tell anyone."

"I mean you don't have to tell me."

"No, no I don't mind. I came out, that's pretty much it. Funny when you're the star only child until you talk about liking men. I was miserable about it at the time, but I don't really care anymore. Besides, I have far too many other things to concern myself with."

He makes one more pass with a highlight, and then backs up to admire his work.

"There, you look wonderful my darling Tav. Perhaps you'll look more beautiful than all the exotic flowers you'll get to see tonight."

"You're sweet. Thank you, for all of this, for opening up to me. I know it hasn't been all that long, but you really are the best friend I've been looking for."

Astarion goes to respond, but is interrupted by his ringtone going off, interrupting the nice music he had playing. It's Cazador calling, Szarr's first name as he had told you a couple days ago. Apparently he thought his last name would sound better for the brand, and has everyone call him by it at all times, unless you're in his private inner circle. To your surprise, your pale friend declines the call.

"Did you just-"

"Yep. Not letting him ruin my night, I just can't right now. Besides, I have to make sure you're ready for this date."

"You can't-"

"What, just not pick up his call? I guess you're right. I've done it before though, and he'll simply send me some nasty voicemail. I'll get punished for it later I'm sure, but if he didn't do it to me, it would just be one of the other six. Better that I take the brunt of it."

"But why?"

"I've been working with him longest, I'm the most used to it. If I can deal with it, it's better that way. Being the scapegoat, it gives me some small way to protect the rest of them."

"You shouldn't have to though."

"Of course not, none of us should have to, but I'm just playing the hand I got dealt Tav. That's all any of us can do, especially when the house always wins."

"So what will you do, until you have to see him again I mean?"

"Oh, there's a fitting tomorrow morning. In the meantime? I'll probably go find a cheap place to get drunk, have sex with a stranger and try to forget. At least until tomorrow."

You nervously stare at your hands.

"Is that why you had sex with me that night? To forget?"

He looks off into the distance, trying to find that evening in his mind.

"I can't even remember. Maybe? Or maybe I was just scared. It's hard to say. It becomes easy after a while, to just offer up your body to strangers. Easier than other options at least. It's like muscle memory."

He then stands up, and offers you a hand to do the same.

"But anyways, enough about me. You have a suitor to go see, and I think he'll find you just ravishing."

Your eyes meet his, that reddish-brown not fully present with you.

"Just stay safe tonight, okay?"

"Oh darling, as if I'm ever truly safe. I'll try though, since you asked so nicely. Now, go on and get downstairs, or else you'll be late. Don't want to keep the handsome nature man waiting."

You thank him again for helping you get ready, giving him a tender hug, the kind that secretly makes him melt. And soon enough, you're out the door and downstairs, met with Halsin and a box of chocolates.

~~~

Astarion doesn't even have the energy at that point to clean up the scattered cosmetics across his sheets. He almost plays Cazador's voicemail, but instead turns his phone off and leaves it on the nightstand. Just like he said, he finds some bar that won't hurt his wallet too much, and drinks the night away, thinking about the possible strangers he could lose himself in. He tries to justify it, knowing that rolling around in the sheets with someone would make the thoughts go away, give him a break from the constant nagging in his head, but for some reason he just can't do it. In fact, he hasn't been able to force himself to sleep with anyone since that night in the diner parking lot. He'd never admit it, but he's been thinking about what you said that evening, how he was just someone trying to survive. And he secretly hopes you're right, that he hasn't truly tainted his soul, that somewhere deep down there's a good piece of him left. After all, he's pining after someone like you, someone who gave him the benefit of the doubt when he didn't deserve it, someone who is far better than him. At least that's what he believes, that even if he did tell you like Gale suggested, it wouldn't be enough. He wouldn't be enough for you, but maybe this Halsin character could be, and there's no way he'd deprive you of that chance.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #freshiau #halsin

75 notes · View notes

mrsbarnesxxx · 9 months

Text

Matilda...

Warnings: Bucky's trauma, nightmares, pet names, songfic, mention of knives

Summary: You help Bucky learn to love.

"Bucky, you talk of the pain like it's all alright, but I know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside." You say placing your hand over his heart. "You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days. You've been so strong through everything you've been through, but you don't have to be strong anymore. You can let it all go and feel things again. Listen, I know it's none of my business, but it's just been on my mind." He fakes a sad smile and I reach for his hand. "Listen, your birthday is on Friday and I think we should have a party. Now I know that you probably won't want to, but I think it'll be good for you. I'll plan the whole thing and you can choose the guest list and all that, but I think you would learn that you're not alone and that all of us truly care about you. Your choice, just know that everything that happened wasn't your fault. Think about it." You say giving his hand a soft squeeze before heading into the other room.

~~~~

"Okay." Is all Bucky says after he pounds on your door at 2 am.

"Okay?" You ask stepping aside as he lets himself in.

"The party." He says pouring himself a drink before downing it in one drink.

"Really?" You ask excitedly and his stone cold façade breaks but just for a second as a smile peaks through.

"Yeah." He says.

"Thank you for trusting me with this, Buck." You say placing a hand on his arm, the right one. Thumb caressing it through his jacket.

He smiles and you pull him into a hug. He remains stiff and you laugh.

"Come on, give in. Give in, it's okay." You laugh and he softens, wrapping his arms around you too.

~~~~

"Come on, Buck. You'll be late to your own party." Sam says pounding on the door.

Bucky comes out in a light blue suit, a white button up under it, hair in a messy bun.

"Get all dressed up for her?" Sam teases.

"Shut up." Bucky says pushing past Sam and towards the party. He sees you waiting outside the doors for him. Hair down, curled lightly, resting on your shoulders. Lips pained a soft rose, light blue dress flowing beautifully around your figure, but what really caught his attention was the grin you were sporting. Your smile was always infectious and he had to fight the smile that threatened to creep onto his face, but ultimately lost when you started giggling.

"Well, Mr. Barnes, don't you clean up nice." You smile reaching out to take his hand in yours.

"Could say the same for you, doll." He smirks looking you up and down again. You blush under his gaze as he is usually very reserved. I mean the two of you had been stealing glances, and dropping light teases every now and then, but not like the look of love in his eyes tonight.

"May I present to you, your 100th birthday party!" You say dramatically and throw the doors open.

He looks around and is absolute awe of what he sees. It's absolutely perfect. The light is dim as to not blind everyone, soft 40s music played in the background. He saw a bar and could smell the steak that was being grilled. Everyone was here, the Wakandans, Steve, Natasha, Sam, Tony, Bruce, Thor, even Peter.

"I-thank you some much, doll. I can't believe you did all this for me." He says tears pricking his eyes.

"You haven't even seen the best part yet!" You squeal and point behind him. He turns to see a banner draped over the doorway in bright letters spelling out "happy birthday old man!"

He lets out a laugh. A real laugh that he hasn't let out since the 40s. "I love you." He says and then his eyes widen as he threatens a look at you, fearing he's just ruined everything. But when his eyes meet yours, all he sees is love and a wide grin on your lips.

"I love you too." You smile, reaching up and pulling his lips down to yours. The kiss is soft and slow. Experimenting and slightly terrified, but loving and secure all at once.

"Happy birthday." You whisper pulling away from his lips.

"Let's go party." He smiles, wrapping an arm around your waist as the two of you glide through the room as if you've been together for 100 years.

~~~~

"Buck?" You ask sitting up when you see him pacing in the dark. You reach over to turn on the lamp. Suddenly a dim light fills the room and you see bucky standing there. Sweet glistening off of him.

"Sweetie, what happened?" You ask. He puts out his hand to stop you. You don't you just want towards him and touch his face gently. "Love?"

"Had another nightmare." He says.

"I'm sorry love. Do you wanna talk about it?" He shakes his head no. "Okay. You okay?"

"I'm fine doll." He smiles sadly.

"Come to bed." You say kissing him lightly.

"Okay, doll." He says smiling slightly. He starts to bend down to get back onto the floor.

"Baby?" I ask softly making him stop in his tracks. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

He gives in easily and lays down with me. I quickly cuddle into his chest. Placing my head on his bare chest my arms around his torso and one leg over his. I feel his heartbeat slow and I place a kiss just below his tags.

"Goodnight bucky."

"Goodnight sunshine."

~~~~

"Are you still having those nightmares?" He asks and I stop. A soft smile spreads across my face.

"Not really. Only the occasional one." I say.

"Good." Sam says. "Because of her?"

"Yeah." I smile.

~~~~

"You're back!" You yell happily running to Bucky. You jump into his arms and he catches you pulling you close and spinning you two around.

"I'm back sunshine." He soothes softly playing with my hair. Bucky finally releases you after a few minutes. You know he needs the hugs just as much as you do.

You finally release him from your bear hug and take his hand instead. Unable to stand not having his touch when he's home.

"Come on, I'll make you boys dinner." You say pulling bucky into the kitchen. You start to make dinner as Sam sits at the table. Bucky wraps his arms around your waist as you cut vegetables. He starts kissing your neck after a minute.

"Bucky!" You giggle pushing him away. "I have a knife."

"Knives don't scare me, doll." He says playfully. I slap his arm, "Go sit."

Sam watches with a smile because finally, after years and years of torment and horrors, his friend is finally happy.

#mrsbarnesxx #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fanfiction #marvel #matilda

90 notes · View notes

dsireland86 · 5 months

Text

There is Beauty in the Pain

CHAPTER 3 PT.1

***Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse

Summary: Noah and Sophie find each other in the most unprecedented circumstances. Whether it's the Universe, fate, destiny, or pure luck, they can't deny that their souls were simply meant to be

***If you want to be added to the tag list, let me know :)***

TAGS: @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @missduffsblog

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Revised and updated chapter

--Link to Chapter 3 Pt 2 at the bottom--

Noah:

A text came through my phone. I wanted to ignore it but I knew the shit I would get from doing that wouldn't be worth it. It was Jolly. He sent me the address to the bar a few blocks from the venue Matt told me about before I left. Every one was there and wondering where I was. I rolled my eyes and groaned. I wasn't in the mood to party. I just wanted to be alone.

Another text came in this time from Matt telling me the same thing. Shit. So much for being alone. I clicked on the address then on the directions, and started walking towards the bar.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You know, if you frown any harder your face might stay that way."

Folio cracked open the beer in his hand and slid it to me and sat down.

"Still thinking about that girl?"

I nodded, taking a sip of the beer.

"Sucks you didn't get the chance to meet her like you wanted."

I shrugged.

"It is what it is, Folio. There's nothing I can do about it now is there?" I sighed sitting back in the chair.

"Very true. Still, I wish I could have seen how pretty she was. You don't confess a woman's beauty often, Noah, but when you do, you're always right." Folio took a sip of his beer, sitting the bottle down gently. "Always?" I raised an eyebrow. "Hey Sarah may have been fucking crazy, but she was hot as hell. Sorry, I don't mean to bring up old shit, but she was." I shook my head, taking another sip from my drink. "Don't apologize, Folio. You're right, she was hot. Bat shit crazy, but hot." He and I exchanged laughs as Jolly joined us, taking the vacant seat next to Folio, crossing one leg over the other and tossing his hands behind his head and clearing his throat.

I rolled my eyes to show I wasn't in the mood to play his game.

"Alright, lets hear it. Lay it out, Jolly, I'm waiting." I crossed my arms over my chest, noticing his cheeky expression.

"I got nothing," he admitted, shaking his head. "What makes you think I do?" The corners of his mouth turned up.

"Uh, your face. What, you want to say how stupid I was for letting my emotions get to me? How I should have remembered the last time I fell for a girl who was a fan and how terribly fucked up it turned out?" Jolly held up a finger, signaling me to stop. "To be fair, Sarah also worked for us, so technically she wasn't just a fan." "Fair point," Folio threw in. "Ha! Not like she was the best at her job. Bitch flirted with every love-sick bastard that showed up at the merch tables, even after we started dating." Running a hand through my hair, I picked up my beer and took a long drink, relishing the coolness as I swallowed it.

"Look," I muttered, annoyed with how this conversation was going. I set the bottle down a little harder than I meant to. "Can we please just stop fucking talking about Sarah, please? I mean she's been mentioned more times tonight that any other time since we ended things. It's fucking depressing me. What does she have to do with the girl from the concert anyway?" My eyes shifted between Folio and Jolly, who sat across from me silent. "Whatever. Just don't talk about her anymore, okay?" They both agreed, and thankfully changed the conversation.

After a few hours and a lot more beers, the atmosphere of the place had relaxed and everyone seemed chilled, compared to the tight, tensioned environment of the last eight weeks. I had to admit it was a nice distraction and it felt really good to just sit and not have anything work related to think about, but my mind wouldn't let up on the constant thinking of that girl and all of the what if's and could have happened if only she and I had met. As my sight drifted around the bar, watching everyone laugh and have a good time, I could only think about her beautiful face and the little things about it I could remember; the shape of her nose, the curve of her lips, the brightness of her eyes. I closed my eyes, thinking about kissing her, tasting her, feeling her body squirm beneath my fingers, and wondering what turned her on or what got her excited. I thought about how hard she made me in that one particular moment standing in front of her and how her cheeks reddened, making me smile. God, I was so fucked for her and if someone asked me to do anything for one moment with her, I would gladly do it.

If I was going to get through this night with my sanity in tacked, then I needed something stronger. I went up to the bar and asked for a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass, taking it back to the table and throwing myself back into my chair. I poured a little of the amber liquid into the glass, raising it to my lips.

"Noah, the fuck, dude? Since when did you start drinking whiskey again?" Nicholas stared at me, eyes wide and mouth opened.

"What," I said defensively, shrugging my shoulders and throwing back the shot. It burned, but I welcomed the feeling, hoping it would mask the memory of her at least for a little while.

"Are you trying to get hammered?" Nick's tone made me groan.

"So what if I am? I don't have any responsibilities right now. We managed to pull off another sold-out, successful tour, and," I said, raising my glass with another shot, "I didn't lose my voice this time." I gave him a sarcastic grin, throwing it back and wincing as it went down. Besides," I continued, laying back against the chair with my arms folded tightly across my chest again, "I have thoughts I need to drown out." I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and waited for the whiskey to kick in.

"Noah, are you pouting?"

"What? No!" scoffing, raising my head to look at him.

"Why the whiskey then? Huh? Is this about a blue hoodie girl?"

"Go away, Nick," I mumbled. "Leave me alone."

"That's not happening. Talk to me man," he pleaded, sitting down next to me.

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter anymore, Nick. What I wanted is never going to happen. She left, or got lost, or what the fuck ever, and I'm left with just these messy feelings I don't know what to do with." He sighed, folding his hands together and rested his chin on them. "I get it. I'm sorry, Noah. But just slow down on the liquor. You remember the last time whiskey was you go to choice for a heartbreak." I filled the shot glass and took my third shot, frustrated that the past was brought up again.

Jolly walked over and snatched the bottle off the table. "Alright party boy, slow the fuck down before I have to pick your ass up off the floor." "Hey! Give it back Jolly! Give me back the fucking bottle!" I jumped up from my chair, reaching for it. He shook his head. "Noah, I will fucking punch you if I have to," he threatened. I backed off, shooting daggers at him with my eyes. "Noah, we get you're upset man, but you know this isn't the right way to deal with it. You know what happened last time. Don't put yourself or us through that shit again." "That was different!" "Yeah, how so? Huh? You were hurting then and you're hurting now; we get it. But this," he said, shaking the bottle, "this isn't going to fix anything. It's only going to make everything worse."

Jolly was right, and I knew it, but would never admit it because I was a prideful asshole. Folio handed me a bottle of water which I accepted, suddenly feeling a little light-headed and dizzy. I was a fucking lightweight when it came to drinking and should have known how quickly the liquor would hit me. Opening the bottle, I guzzled down its entire contents, hydrating myself to try and get the intoxication under control. Sitting back down at the table, I laid my head down on my arms, closing my eyes. My head was spinning and the voices around me started blurring together. Instead of fighting it, I succumbed to the whiskey, letting it drag me away from reality.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The banging was relentless. It echoed through my ears making the pounding in my ears worse. I awoke and tried to focus on the room around me, thankful it wasn't spinning as bad as I was expecting, as the banging continued. I slowly got up, bracing myself for a second against the table to gain my balance, then proceeded over to where Nick and Matt were sitting.

"Who wants to make a bet, that's a bunch of crazy ass girls who found out we were here," Folio hollered from somewhere in the back of the bar. I looked around, finding him in the back corner playing pool with Jolly, and Bryan.

"Okay, okay, I hear you," Alex, the owner of the bar hollered. He tossed his cleaning towel down and walked over to the front door, peering through the closed blind. "Alex, please let me in; it's Sophie," begged a voice on the other side. "Please open the door. Something happened and I really need your help."

Nick, Matt, and I exchanged concerned looks, all of us walking closer to the front to see what was going on as Alex quickly unlocked the door and opened it. "Sophie, oh my god, what happened," Alex gasped, pulling a blue hoodie figure of the girl inside and shutting the door behind her. I instantly froze. There, standing right before me was the girl I'd been pinning over all night, looking like she had the shit beat of her.

"Fucking hell, Sophie!" Alex cried, taking her face between his thumb and finger, turning her head slowly to investigate her wounds. Her eyes landed on me and her mouth fell open. The bruises covering her face made me cringe and the partially dried blood from the open wounds on her cheek bones and mouth stirred the scattered, intense emotions running through me.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered, still in shock. "I could ask you the same thing," I replied quietly. Alex looked at Sophie and then to me, confused. "You two know each other?" Sophie snapped her attention back to him, throwing her arms around his torso and planting her face in his chest. She began to cry, sobbing against Alex's shirt as her body violently shook. Wrapping his arms around her and holding her close, Alex consoled her. He kissed the top of her head, gently caressing her neck. My heart felt crushed at thinking the two of them were together. Of course they were, how could a girl as beautiful as Sophie not be taken. But what the hell had happened to her?

"Alex, what happened to her?" Matt asked. Alex shook his head, but from the look on his face, I think he had a good idea.

"Uhhh, Noah, that girl's wearing a blue hoodie; the same hoodie..." "I know Folio. It's her," I muttered without taking my eyes off Sophie.

"Soph, can you tell me what happened? Is this what I think it is?" Alex was calm, as if he'd been through this before with her. That thought was a little unsettling. "Do you want to sit down? You're shaking." But Sophie shook her head, only squeezed him tighter and continued crying. "Sophie, talk to me. Tell me what happened?"

I couldn't get past the fact she was actually here in front of my eyes. But the version I was looking at wasn't the version I met back at the concert. Sophie had been abused and possibly.... no, I wouldn't let my mind go that far. Something traumatic happened to Sophie between the time she left the concert until now and it was eating away at me not knowing what it was.

Sophie's breathing suddenly became short. She started gasping as if her airwaves were cut off, removing her arms from around Alex to grip his arms instead as she bent over to the floor trying to breath. "It's okay Soph, just breath, baby. You're okay. Just deep breaths," Alex encouraged her. Sophie was having a panic attack, something I was very familiar with myself. They were horrible and could make you feel like you were going to die from not being able to catch your breath. As Sophie continued to hyperventilate, I thought about what I could do to help. Really I just wanted to be near her even despite the circumstances.

Almost as if Alex could read my mind, he beckoned me over. "Stay here with her while I go get some stuff to help her out." I nodded, taking a spot next to her on the floor. I laid my hand gently on her back and ran it slowly up and down. "Breath, Sophie. Take a deep breath," I instructed. "I know how you're feeling. I used to get them all the time too. It's hard, but you can do it, you can get through it." Sophie's breathing began to slow. Her body was still shaking, but not as bad and her crying had ceased. I continued to caress her back, staying right beside her. Her hand began to search for something and I thought it was for Alex. "He went to get some things for you," I told her. She shook her head, reaching for me, so I gave her my hand. She took it, wrapping her cold, smaller one around it and locking her fingers around mine. That same electric feeling from before shot through me and I knew she felt it too when she looked up at me.

"Here," Alex said, coming up behind me and handing me a warm cloth." I took it and began to carefully wipe her tear stained cheeks, trying to not apply any pressure especially around the bruising. Our eyes met. I smiled at her and watched the corners of her mouth slowly curve a little. "See, all better," I whispered. I kissed her forehead before standing up and allowing Alex to continue.

Folio was watching from behind me. His face was bleak, mouth set in a hard line. I'd never seen him like it before. "Folio, what is it?" I asked, coming over to him. He shook his head slowly. "Have you seen something like this before?" "Yeah," he answered flatly. My nostrils flared and I bit the inside of my cheek as all kinds of bad thoughts began to run through my head, making me overthink every worse case scenario.

Sophie eventually stood up with the help of Alex, grimacing each time she moved. There was more damage done to her than what was on the surface. I tried to not let my mind go to those dark places again, but I was in serious fear of finding out what happened to her. But thankfully, I didn't have to wait very long.

"Sophie, were you raped?" I quickly looked at Folio, wondering what the hell he was thinking asking her something so horrible so bluntly, but my eyes shifted over to Sophie who only stared at him disarmed at first and eyes wide with terror, before folding over again and loudly sobbing, painfully.

CHAPTER 3 PT.2

#noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens #bad omens band #noah sebastian #nicholas ruffilo #nick folio #jolly karlsson #fanfic #bad omens cult

34 notes · View notes

hwanghyunjinenthusiast · 1 year

Text

Listen, as a Yoongi stan, I think smut inspired by these pictures was really just inevitable tbh. I don't know what that man's problem is but, he obviously doesn't want his stans to have peace. So, here we are. Also, shoutout to Namjoon for inspiring the vampire aspect of all of this lol. Twilight's influences really have not left me hey, even a decade later.

Heads up: Min Yoongi x Fem! Reader, Vampire! Yoongi, regular degular human Reader, Dom! Yoongi, Sub! Reader, very irresponsible choices, mentions of alcohol and alcohol consumption (everyone involved consents but, alcohol was comsumed), blood drinking during sex, fingering (f. receiving), unprotected piv sex, dirty talk, mild praise kink, creampie and Reader generally simping very hard for Yoongi (she's just like me fr).

I will block you if you are minor and have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Either you had the best luck in the entire world or you were a complete, reckless idiot. If someone had told you that finding the courage to approach the ridiculously handsome, mysterious looking man at the bar would lead you to his stunning home and, eventually, his bed, you'd tell them they'd lost their mind.

However, that's where you find yourself now. Completely naked while he remains fully clothed behind you, one hand teasing and tracing along your sensitive nipple while the other continously curls two, long fingers inside of you and draws steady circles against your clit. His fangs lightly grazing along your neck, causing shivers to run down your spine and your walls to clench around his fingers harder from the sensation. You feel your face warm from embarrassment when he darkly chuckles against your skin. Seeming to find amusement at the way your body responds to him.

You can just picture the disapproving looks from your best friends Hoseok and Jimin. Honestly, they probably wouldn't believe you let a vampire take you home anyways and, were allowing him to drink your blood. You could hardly believe it yourself.

You tended to air on the side of caution more often than not. However, maybe it was the wine in your system or the alluring air around the man you've now come to know is named Yoongi but, you couldn't help yourself.

He was surprisingly frank about what he was. At the skeptical and stunned look on your face, he explained that he's too old to beat around the bush anymore. Being straightforward makes his life significantly less of a hassle. To your own surprise, you're not nearly as terrified of him as you probably should be and that seems to gain his attention. Before you know it the two of you are headed to his imposing home and he's pulling you into a heated kiss as soon as you enter the front door.

You could tell from his icy skin and the slight red tint visible in the irises of his eyes that he was being truthful. However, seeing his canines extend into full-blown fangs definitely helped clear up any skepticism you previously had.

"You're one of the few people who hasn't freaked out from discovering what I am. I think it turns you on, actually," he mutters against the skin of your neck, bringing you back to present.

"I- that's not true. I think you're just h-hot in general. It's not just the whole being a vampire thing," you stammer out, putting all the focus you can muster into responding to him while his fingers curl inside of you faster and harder.

"Really? I'm flattered," his voice is silky and the dip in octave only makes you gush onto his fingers and hand more.

He seems to take mercy on you and fully cups your breast in his hand, pinching and tugging at your hardened. The slight pain from his ministrations further pushing you closer and closer to your orgasm.

If you weren't able to feel his cock pressed against your ass, you'd think Yoongi was unfazed by all of this. He seemed to be the perfect picture. Taking immense delight is making you fall apart within minutes.

"Are you going to be a good girl and cum for me?"

Well, it's not like he gave you much of a choice. Your body seizes at his words. Fingernails digging into the skin of arms as he steadies through your release. You're glad the two of you decided to go back to his place because you doubt you'd be able to hold back the high pitched moans that leave your mouth as you cum and Yoongi gently continues to finger you through it. Whispering affectionate praises into your skin all the while.

A gasp flies from your lips when you feel a sting in your neck, tears rising to your eyes from the pain. The two of you discussed this before and you gave Yoongi the go ahead to drink your blood whenever but, you certainly weren't expecting him to do it while you came. You whine from the pain and the pleasure that catches you completely off-guard. Walls spasming around his fingers even harder as your eyes roll into the back of your head.

Gently he detaches his mouth from you and eases his fingers out as well. "You okay?" He asks softly, kissing your neck lightly and wrapping his arms around your waist. You're a little taken aback by the display of affection. Yoongi hadn't exactly been cold the entire night but, he certainly hadn't been overly affectionate like this before. Maybe drinking your blood affects him that way?

"Y-Yeah, I'm okay. A little lightheaded but, otherwise good,"

"Okay, that's good. I made sure not to drink too much from you but, some light-headedness is to be expected. Would you be okay with continuing or would you prefer to stop?"

You thinking over his question for a bit. On the one hand, maybe you should actually have some sense of self-preservation and get the hell out of here. On the other hand, Yoongi may have just given you one of the best orgasms of your life and you're incredibly curious about the weight you still feel pressing against your ass.

"We can continue. I'm okay to still keep going."

"Good," is all the warning you get before you find yourself flat on your back, Yoongi staring down at you intently for a moment before kissing you once more. You can vaguely taste the metallic tang of your blood on his lips but, it's not off-putting enough for you to want to stop kissing him. His hands make quick work of his shirt, almost ripping out the buttons in his haste to get it off. His pants and boxers don't fair much better.

It's almost straight out of an early 2000s vampire movie the way the moonlight illuminates his skin. He's beautiful and cold. A sculpture come to life.

You're distracted from admiring his raw beauty when his hard cock slaps against is abdomen. You feel your pussy clench hard around nothing, unintentionally whining out loud at just how empty you feel.

Yoongi seems to be able to tell what's prompted that especially needy whine from you and an arrogant smirk spreads across his face. It's quickly becoming very unfair how hot this man is.

"See something you like?" He asks, lazily stroking his cock against your wet folds.

Your hands fly to his back whenever his head brushes against clit, your thighs tightening against his waist. "Y-Yoongi, please," you whine, hips arching up to meet his steady thrusts. Taking any stimulation you can get.

"You're so hot when you're needy," he groans, glancing down to look at the erotic sight of his cock quickly becoming covered in your arousal.

"Please, I've been good," you beg again, feeling like you're going to lose your mind if he does fuck you soon.

"Mmm, that is true. You have been good. Maybe you do deserve my cock," he mockingly ponders aloud before grabbing his cock once again and guiding it to your entrance.

You could cry from how relieved you are.

"So fucking wet for me," he groans as he gradually sinks into you, giving you time to adjust to the depth and the stretch.

Yoongi seems to reach parts of you you weren't even aware you had. Moaning out when his cock brushes against a particular sensitive area against your walls. Thighs already beginning to quake violently and he's barely even started.

When he finally stills, giving you time to adjust to the feelings and sensations that come with finally having most of him inside of you, you can't help the way your walls clench and spasm around him. Already feeling like you're going to cum again just from how full he makes you feel.

"If you keep doing that I might not be able to control myself," he says, voice laced dark promise as he peppers kisses against your neck. Lightly brushing over the bite marks he left earlier.

"What if I don't want you to control yourself?"

Yoongi moves from your neck to meet your dazed eyes. However, he does see sparks of mischief and curiosity in them as well. Well. Seems like his new favourite human wants to see how far she can push him until he snaps.

You have no idea what you're asking for.

"You should be careful what you wish for," he mutters, kissing the corner of your mouth as he slowly starts to move. His cock brushes against that spot that has you seeing stars once again and Yoongi takes notice of how your nails dig into him harder and your moans increase in sound.

"Yoongi, faster. Please. I can take it,"

'You really couldn't,' Yoongi thinks to himself but, does increase the speed of his thrusts to meet your pleas. Unable to bite back a moan at how your walls grip him like a vice. It's like you don't want him to pull out at all. He watches your pretty face through lidded eyes. Making sure to take in every detail he can. The way your mouth is shaped in a very appealing looking O, the way your nose scrunches cutely and all the little noises of pleasure you let out go straight to his cock.

His grip on your thighs tightens. Yoongi tries his best to maintain some self control. He knows he could seriously hurt you if he isn't aware enough but, it's difficult with how phenomenal you feel and taste and sound. He presses open-mouthed kisses along your neck, his desire to feed on you flaring up once again but, he doesn't want to overdo it.

"Yoon-Yoongi I'm ah close again. Gonna cum," you cry out, subconsciously pulling him closer to you. Honestly, the coolness from his body is a welcome reprieve from the heat you're currently feeling. He's like a ridiculously hot cold press.

At your words, one of his hands shifts from gripping your thigh to drawing quick circles on your clit once again. He can barely draw his cock back from how hard you clench around him, trying to milk him for all he has. It's all quickly becoming too much for Yoongi to handle and he tries to get you to cum on his cock but, his thrusts are quickly becoming sloppy and uncoordinated. Groans and curses slipping from his lips into your neck.

Yoongi groans long and low when he eventually cums, the sound going straight to your clit. You moan at the feeling of being filled with his cum, his hips stuttering against yours as he fills you. However, your eyes widen in surprise when you feel that sting against your neck once again. His self control seeming to all but, vanish as he feeds on you while he cums.

Which is perhaps one of the hottest combinations you've ever experienced.

Your own climax barrels into you unexpected as Yoongi continues to feed from you and fill you up. He groans against you as your walls suck him in harder, overstimulation beginning to take effect.

He all but, collapses against you. Making sure to seal where he fed from you once again with his saliva. He doesn't think he took too much while in that daze but, one can never be too careful.

You both lie there catching your breaths, your hands gently rubbing his back as he presses soft kisses against your skin. However, his weight quickly makes it difficult for you to adequately breathe, "Hey Yoongi, could you please get off of me? It's kinda hard to breathe."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," he says, slowly easing out of you. Both of you cringing at the feeling momentarily before Yoongi plops down next to you. Wrapping his arm around your waist as you two take the opportunity to simply bask in your respective afterglows. He looks over at your neck, something possessive and proud stirring in his gut at the bite marks that decorate your skin. However, he feels you tense before sitting up in alarm.

"You came inside me. You didn't use a condom. What if I get pregnant? Oh god-"

As much as Yoongi was finding some amusement in your spiralling, he didn't want you to genuinely panic or feel anxious.

"Good thing vampires can't reproduce then. Also kinda hard to give a walking corpse an STD," he says, shooting you an amused, lazy grin.

Relief instantly courses through your veins. Those are a few less issues you'd have to worry about at the very least. You lay back down, curling into Yoongi's side as you do. Enjoying the soothing quality of the chill from his skin against your own and drawing nonsensical patterns on his stomach with your fingertips. His hand playing with your hair.

Yeah, Hoseok and Jimin definitely weren't going to believe you.

#min yoongi smut #yoongi smut #suga smut #bts smut

277 notes · View notes

yanderes-galore · 11 months

Note

Love ur work! Can I please request a short story Yan! Rick x reader (Rick & Morty) . What would happen if the reader got a partner, whilst Rick was like obsessing over them?

Sure! I don't mind writing for Rick again :) I think I used this plot before but not for Rick so here's a different spin on it, it's one of my favorite story plots lol. It just kind of lead into it with the way I was writing this. Sorry it's short :(, I did want to add more to it but was not sure what.

Try Again

Yandere! Rick Sanchez Short

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Somewhat Self-Aware yandere, Obsession, Jealousy, Murder, Manipulation, Forced relationship, Stalking, Brainwashing, Mentioned drinking but nothing actually happened.

It could be such an easy fix. He could simply get rid of this other person then use a machine to fix everything. He curses himself for being too slow... yet he likes it when you're happy.

Rick thought he had more time to become an important part of your life. He had a whole plan. He was going to slowly manipulate you into loving him so it seems natural, then you'd love him as he did you. Then someone beat him to it.

"Rick! Someone asked me out!"

He knew he was still supposed to play the platonic friend at the time yet he cringed the whole time doing it. Someone else asked you out? How did he miscalculate this... he thought he knew everyone you knew.

"Really, now? What'd you say?"

"Yes!"

"... nice.... Do I know this person?"

"No... I met them recently!"

The moment he took his eyes off you, he lost you. His plan took too slow and you managed to throw a huge wrench into it. He thought he had control over who you met!

Guess not....

Rick waited things out for more info. He watches you like usual but this time shows more attention to your partner. He can't believe this person swooped in... right in the middle of his plan, too.

That can be fixed, he knows it.

There's many ways he can fix this. Most of them centered around the death of your partner. Yes, it's selfish, it's cruel, yet Rick was never really known for the best morals. Many see him as selfish anyways.

Part of him liked how happy you were now. Although he quickly suffocated the idea. Sure, you're happy now...

But he could make you happier.

Even he knew that was a lie, that did not stop his plan however.

It's an easy fix. Rick could easily start the plan again. It would be against your will but he could easily make you his yet again.

It's admittedly not the first time he's done it... why else does he have so much control in your life?

It's yet another reset. He'll give this another try. It was time to put his old plan back into use yet again.

He'd remove your partner from the picture. He'd wash your brain of them and their disappearance like the last ones. Then it's back to normal.

You getting a partner during his obsession with you wasn't going to stop him. One way or another you'd both arrive back at square one. All due to Rick and his mastery of technology.

He should really leave you alone, let you live your own life happily. Then he reminds himself that you were the one that cursed him with feeling this emotion again and you'd have to deal with the consequences. In a way, call this a punishment for the both of you.

His plan would work at some point. He tells himself this as he readies the blaster pointed at your partner's head from his hiding spot. He just needed to try again.

The sound of the blaster and your screaming is like deja vu in his ears. How many times had he done this? How many times has he shot you with the tranquilizer gun and your partner with the blaster.

He wondered if he could really keep doing this when he drags you to his lab. It feels wrong to wipe your memory so much. But Rick is so close.

You're so close to being his. Soon you WON'T have to do this anymore. Then it can finally just be you and him.

This is what he keeps telling himself. Each time it goes wrong but he still keeps doing it. Soon, he'll get it right.

When he sees you wake up and look at him with confusion, he pats your back and sits you up. He prepares the same story he's used time and time again. All with what appears to be a loving smile.

"Drank a little too hard with me last night, didn't you?"

It's when he sees you look at him with such care that he convinces himself to keep going. He may be playing dirty, but it won't matter in the end. He gives you a hug and you hold him back with a small 'yeah, I guess...'. You are nonethewiser to how he's using you to fuel his selfish desires. He'll have you to himself in the end...

He just needs to try again.

#yandere rick and morty #yandere rick sanchez

88 notes · View notes

unbrcakablc-hcart · 22 days

Note

What even happened? Who did what?

God, okay, so. This might sound pretty stupid. The first thing I think I should say is that this happened in a group chat off of Tumblr; I don't think many of these people have blogs. It was run/created by... uh. Someone I thought was a friend but I guess ain't anymore. Anyway.

Secondly is that this truly started off in such a dumbass way.

Like. Talking about some real mundane shit. I was essentially going "I wanna swim I've only done that like 3 times tops in my life because I don't want to dirty the water that other people where I'm from could be drinking" because. You know. I live in a desert.

This gets long so. Be ready for that.

tl;dr: lady wants to study my sisters and therefore me by proxy. I don't take kindly to that. She calls me weak and stupid and naive for not keeping my mouth shut in a place where I had originally felt reasonably comfortable with people. Only 4-5 people argue with her and everyone else just tries to act like nothing happened, and one person insisted that I should just try to find common ground and get along. She doubles down on her bullshit and I decide this is a load of shit and leave.

This person whose name I still don't know, so I guess I'm going to just call her Ox because that's the emoji she was using. She pointed out that I can't really be dirtying the water any more than any other creature that gets in it, which... like, yeah, fair, except the point is that I live(d) on a desert planet with very little water and there really ISN'T that much in the way of wildlife on No Man's Land.

Which I know she wouldn't know, because just as I know nothing about her, she knows nothing about me. So anyway. I explain that. And I also make the dumbass decision to mention that my sisters are generally responsible for producing a vast majority of the potable water on the planet.

Because by this point I've been pretty open about being a Plant, right? I don't really talk about it frequently because it's just not something that comes up often, but I'm not hiding it on purpose or anything either. It gets kind of tiring trying to explain the whole thing anyway.

I realize I've made a mistake because Ox talks about how sentient beings producing water is fascinating, and I'm a little on edge, so I go, ahahaha, I guess I probably shouldn't really talk about my sisters.

And Ox is like, "That's not the wrong way to go about it. If you want to protect something, it's best to keep it hidden. Lock it away, never to see the light of day. It's like the advice I'd given to that girl and her Aubade."

Don't know what the hell she's talking about, and I probably overreacted a bit by going okay, noted, won't share anything about myself again, because I literally did not ask for that advice, and do not care for it.

She replies, "It's foolish to announce you have something unique, don't you understand. Unwanted attention, conflict. If you're not cut out for defending it, you should simply lock it away and keep your head down."

Which, again, sure, except it's not like I'm entirely fucking braindead, I know that. That's how I've lived my whole life so far! But I don't care for the implication that I should also be locked away and keep my head down and hold my tongue, because, you know, like my sisters. I Am A Plant.

And this guy I was talking to, I'll call him Columbi, he also picks up pretty quick that this is fucked up and he's like. "People aren't possessions you can cage." Like a decent person, you know?

So Ox tells him that's a naive way of thinking.

Which pisses me 'n Columbi off. Obviously.

And she goes on to say, "It's simple to "lock away" a person. Downplay their capabilities, have them keep their heads down too. Strict rules about who they can and can't talk to, what they can or can't talk about. An open prison. Even if you don't lock them in a room by themselves, you can still keep them sheltered away from harm. The more open you are about their uniqueness, the more they become exposed, the more likely you are to draw unwanted attention. And if they're particularly important or special… you simply run the risk of losing them altogether, if you're not strong enough to protect them."

Which Columbi points out is abuse. Which I recognize pretty quickly as something Nai wanted to do to me to keep me safe, which wasn't what I wanted at all, because ultimately he and I both would ideally like to live without having to pretend that we're something we're not for our own safety, and I thought in a group chat full of people from other universes, I wouldn't have to worry so much about this shit.

I point out that it's real easy to be cruel and that I love (sarcasm) how she thinks the non-naive thing is to be an abusive shithead.

Ox says, "Of course. It's simplicity itself. But if you're powerless to take care of your most precious attachments, you scarcely have little other choice."

Which I disagree with. Of course. I think there are PLENTY of other choices that don't involve that kind of cruelty. And I snark that oh, I see, you're just as powerless yourself, aren't you?

And she goes, "You seem to believe I'm speaking from a place of experience. Which, you may have been right so many decades ago."

So what I get from this is that she's basically talkin' out her ass.

She goes on to say, "I'm quite proud of the strength I've cultivated. I simply cannot condone the actions of those who would brag about their unique abilities or their special treasures without the capability to back them up. Truthfully, your reaction may have been the right one. If you think you're simply too weak to protect your attachments, your possessions, you're simply better off keeping them to yourself and locking them away."

For the record, my reaction has nothing to do with whether I'm too weak to protect the people I care about or not. In my opinion, that's missing the point entirely, which is that I shouldn't fucking HAVE to. Which I guess makes me stupid, weak, and naive.

I'm also pretty sure that I could hand her ass to her, but again, not my point, and it's another thing I feel like I shouldn't have to prove to anyone. But I do tell her that if she gets close to me or anyone else that I care about, that I'll put her out of all of our miseries.

And this is when things start to, in my opinion, get worse.

To summarize at this point: random stranger tells me I'm stupid, weak, and naive for sharing information about myself and being uncomfortable with the response she gave me, after quite a few people pointed out that's just Not Something You Should Say To Someone.

Only three people - two of whom are friends of mine that I know in person, one of whom is a stranger - stand up for me and go this is fucked up. A fourth person is saying this is fucked up but I think she's missing the point but she's also a friend of mine and I guess right now she's okay.

I leave to try to cool off. It's not really that successful but whatever. Everyone just acts like this lady didn't just say some fucked up shit.

Two 'n a half hours later this other gal(?) named Roon says, "While we're all together like this, wouldn't it be best if we tried to get along?"

One of my friends asks how she suggests that to happen, given the circumstances.

Roon answers, "Hmm... I suppose I'm not the best person to ask about this. But it might work to establish some common ground, at least. That might be a little difficult in a space like this, but I'm sure it's possible."

Which I take to mean as, "I don't understand what the problem is, why don't you just be the bigger person and be understanding?"

Because like. How else am I supposed to interpret that.

And because I feel like no one is really understanding why I'm so damn upset, I try to spell it out, and I explain, "All I really wanted was to feel like I could be open about myself and try to make connections with people, only to be in no uncertain terms that I am weak, stupid, and naive for doing so. Right now it feels like my options are to either leave, or to stay and say nothing and lie and lie and lie and say nothing of any real substance and pretend that's fine with me. Given my options, I'd rather tell y'all that it's been real, and that I'm going to spend my time with people I know give a shit about me and don't want me to hide everything about myself. I shouldn't have to fucking prove a goddamn thing to be worthy of the luxury of comfort. Because at the moment, I don't particularly want to be open and establish common ground when it'll be seen as stupid and naive."

Roon says, "I can't stop you from doing that instead, and neither should I. I just wanted to float a second opinion~"

Which. Again. Kind of pisses me off because again, the way I'm reading this, I feel kind of like she thinks I'm overreacting, and that I should just accept the way I've been spoken to by someone who is a stranger to me, who expressed some interest in studying/experimenting on my sisters and by proxy me.

Three hours later, Ox comes back, and instead of even just apologizing insincerely to me, she says, "Apologizing doesn't undo the fact that it's been said, nor do I mean to act like I didn't mean it. If you're strong enough to protect the things and people you care about, by all means. But backing down the second someone makes a comment about it implies to me that you're uncertain if you could. Of course, I even think you're being defensive about it for naught. You are but lines of words upon this relic's slab. I can't even guarantee you're real, or if you're just a fabrication by the relic to amuse me."

The fact that she doubled down on all of her bullshit was the final straw for me, especially with being told that I should try to find common ground and "just get along", so I decide that I've had enough of all this shit, that I don't have to deal with this and that I'm under no obligation whatsoever to prove myself, and I have no interest in trying to convince someone who isn't even sure I'm a real person to give me basic decency, so I left the group chat pretty much immediately after that.

And now everything just really fuckin' hurts emotionally and it's intense enough that it's affecting me physically in a lot of ways and while I could have been kinder and more polite in the beginning, I really do not think that would have improved anything, and I still am under the opinion that I did nothing wrong and definitely did nothing to warrant being treated like that, and finding that a lot of people I considered close friends didn't even want to say anything! Fucking sucked!

I know I shouldn't really be surprised, but I am, because I thought things could be different. Better. And... well. Guess things weren't as good as I thought they were.

So. Super cool. Loved that.

#vash blogs #vash answers #ask #anonymous

8 notes · View notes