#i need to stop being perfectionistic haha | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

faceless-es · 4 months

Text

My lovely depressed man

59 notes · View notes

swampybogg · 11 days

Text

#vampire hunter d #vampirehunterd #vhd #dessin #illustration #dhampir #vampire #digital art #art #break started finally and I can indulge once more #I need to stop being such a perfectionist #It's not even worth it in the end haha It's sure that no one will see the things that I do #it's the things I miss if anything💀#I have not started Dark Roads yet I'm still processing

133 notes · View notes

kiki-kakapo-art · 2 months

Text

Gift for @sleepinginmute

It’s them!!!!! I really really love the designs and the ship and them being in a QPR so I just had to draw them!!!

Hope I did them justice :>

67 notes · View notes

trollsedits · 2 months

Note

BroZone headcannons please cause I saw your Poppy/Viva one and it was so cool!

Aww, Thank you so much I’m super busy today but This just made my day haha 💕✨ (so I’m writing this on my busy schedule today)

Brozone Headcanons:

Jonh Dory:

-Dude has a Perfectionist problem

-his personality reminds you of Eric Andre

-During his younger boy band days he would mess around with his little brother but he mostly like to mess around with Rosiepuff

-Grandma Rosiepuff mostly yells at John for causing chaos

-dude is obsessed with Rhonda

-His literal senior quote is “Perfect,perfect perfect 100%”

-He likes to mess around with king peppy back in his boy band days

-Has OCD

-He has baby pictures of all of his brothers he once try to make those kpop photo cards of embarrassing pictures of his brothers and sell them to fans his brother were not happy about it

-Will embarrassed the Sh*t out of his brothers no matter how old they are

-branch and Floyd is literally embarrassed to be around John

-Clay just hide whenever John comes to the Putt-Putt trolls village to pay him a visit he would make viva tell John that he was dead

-Bruce once slap the Living Sh*t out of Jonh Dory cuz he keeps calling Bruce —-> Spruce so John thinks twice before calling his name

-since bruce slap John He is deadass scared of saying Bruce name afraid that he’ll mess up again so he just call Bruce Vacay dude with a tall wife and 13 children

——————-

Bruce:

-Had super dad power

-knows when his kids or wife needs something

-he always mentioned “My wife” when ever he hangout with this bros

-he will slap the Living out of you if you dare disrespect his wife and children meaning talking bad about them

-since he’s a dad now he will dad his brother meaning he will cook, feed them put them to bed etc.

-he can surf

-he once taught Floyd how to surf but it failed don’t ask why Floyd rather not talk about it

-he and Floyd has the best brothers relationship beside clay

-He still baby branch around

-when ever John Dory was being a bit to much Bruce would just put a pacifier to shut him up or just put John to bed the other brother thank him for that John can go on for hours on being perfect

Bruce: come on you big baby I think is time for your nappy maybe you’ll stop being cranky

-he definitely listen to Broadway music like Hamilton and others he also listen to smooth jazz

-he is a charmer not even his wife could be angry at him

-back in his band days he would brings a bunch of random girls back to their pod and make out w them he would threatened both clay and Floyd if they ever tell grandma Rosiepuff he would [Beep] their heads off so clay and Floyd just shut up

-He Secretly wants to adopt tiny diamond because he never had a troll size kid of his own before

-He would attempt to kidnap tiny diamond before but got caught by branch

——————————

Clay:

-Definitely a John Dory biggest #1 Hater

-Clay would attempt to murder John but Bruce stopped him

-license CPA put some respect on his name fools

-definitely listen to Kid Cudi he would play it Day N night

-He regret leaving baby branch and Floyd but mostly branch

-He still loves to baby branch around no matter what even in front of Queen poppy

-is in a sad book club

-Clay would often get in trouble w grandma Rosiepuff

-April fools is his favorite holiday his brother and even grandma would get out of the house or won’t go near the house on April fools day

-He once try to sell Floyd and branch for some money but got in trouble

-He try to sell branch again but got in trouble again

-Clay once drew on John Dory and Bruce face during their band days while they were asleep with permanent markers so they couldn’t wash them off so they had to perform like that

-Clay left Floyd behind at a supermarket that one time Floyd was crying so much when a troll brought him back to grandma Rosiepuff

-Clay loves his older brother John Dory despite being his biggest hater he still care about John but he hates it when John push him and his brother past their limits

————————

Floyd:

-Definitely listen to troye sivan & Lana del Rey

-he even dressed like troye sivan

-he stalk troye sivan so badly that troye sivan wants to put a restraining order on Floyd poor dude T-T

-He wants to marry troye sivan so badly cuz he’s troye Sivan biggest fan

-he loves his brother so much

-he once gave troye sivan flowers but then troye sivan threw them in the trash ;-;

-he still stalks troye sivan doe idk y his brothers would stop him and constantly apologize to troye of Floyd behavior he isn’t like this so maybe being locked up in a diamond prison made him go nuts

-Floyd can’t feel his legs after being free from the diamond prison

-Floyd when branch was born he hated branch a lot but he sooner warm up to branch

-Floyd once got his brother to do the Troye sivan “Got me started dance” and it blew up even troye Sivan was impressed that his number one fan/ stalker killed it at his dance

-Floyd always helps his grandma around the house even taking care of baby branch

-he really regrets leaving branch and his grandma behind because she loved them dearly

-he and barb would become best friends

-Floyd always act like a big brother to John,clay and Bruce whenever they are fighting he is so mature for his age

-Floyd is the family therapist

-Floyd along with branch has the best vocalist

-Floyd has gone through phrases (don’t ask him he’ll die from embarrassment but John definitely has pictures of it so don’t ask John unless you want to die )

————————

Branch:

-After saving Floyd from the twins he been following Floyd every movement

-Has major abandonment issues

-he will cling onto his brother legs if they leave

-he will not let Floyd or any of his brothers leave he most likely will keep them hostage cause his abandonment issues are real

-he sounds like Justin Timberlake

-He still hold grudges against his brother for leaving him but mostly at John

-he treats his big brother like he owns this place

-He definitely listen to all kind of genres of music

-he’s a Bts army and a blackpink blink (I feel like he is honestly don’t argue with me plz)

-He also listen to NSYNC his favorite member is Justin

-he hates being called bitty B but he somehow let poppy call him that

-he’s a cat person for sure he’ll even act like once towards his brothers

-he will hiss at them if they dare leave

-Bruce couldn’t leave so he would have to explain to his wife for hours why he can’t leave ;-;

-poppy once came to his bunkers and saw his brother tied up in a chair she started to get worried about branch behavior she knows viva has abandonment issues but is not as bad at branch

-She demand to let his brother go but branch wouldn’t let go of his big brother

-even John Dory was crying scared for his life

-when branch was a baby he would get away with anything even murder

-everyone try’s to kidnap branch when he was a baby back in his bands days but John Dory is protective of branch

-He caught Bruce trying to kidnap tiny diamond that once time he would tell guy diamond but then again he threatened Bruce if he saw Bruce try to attempt to kidnap tiny diamond again he would tell

-he is Creek number #1 hater

-he still doesn’t trust Bergens

-he once saw Floyd chasing troye sivan in the streets so branch would restrain Floyd from going after troye

“That troll is Delulu!” Troye said

“He’s my older brother” branch said

“Well your older brother is crazy!” Troye response backing away and running off

“You’re welcome that I restrain him for ya!” Branch shouted while rolling his eyes

——————————

Anyways, I hope you enjoy that funny and random headcanon of Brozone if you want to request me anything just click on my profile and press on “Ask Me Anything!”

—————

Like + Follow are very much appreciated! ✨

56 notes · View notes

squeakadeeks · 3 months

Text

whew! core lineup for Delta is complete, ft Rhea, Rem, Puck, and Raken.

Delta has an overall dream theme, the main conflict revolving around the Dream Queen trying to put people to sleep forever by giving them perfect, ideal dreams (well intentioned but obviously an issue haha)

Raken, as the nightmare lord, is working to counteract her and maintain balance with the help of his three henchmen, Rhea, Rem and Puck.

in terms of design themes, Rhea is dreams, Rem is nightmares, and Puck is daydreams 🫣

close-ups and more character details below

Rhea was a woman in her mid-20’s living a monotonous life when some point due to her excessive sleeping and lucid dreaming exploration, she falls out of her dream into the dreaming kingdoms. She is first found by Rem, who mistakes her for someone who fell victim to the dream queen, and takes her to Raken to attempt waking her up. Raken tells her about how she fell out of her dream, and that she will not be able to wake back up until she can find her original dream current, which is being occluded by the dream kingdom’s tampering and muddying of the dreaming sea.

Motivated and interested in the dreaming world, she wants to tag along and help Raken both for the feeling of doing the right thing, and to potentially help herself wake up. Although she has somewhat superficial reasons, “this is cool!” “I want to learn cool dream magic too!”, She really genuinely wants to do good and be good, and does want to stop the well intentioned dream queen. But as such struggles with the moral greyness of intentionally giving people nightmares in Raken’s plan. She works very hard to find a “perfect” resolution that convinces the dream queen to stop, addresses the harshness of the waking world, and doesn't involve giving people a worse alternative in the form of horrific nightmares every night.

Rhea is insanely silvertounged and very good at talking herself out of situations and convincing people to think something/do something. Rhea wants very badly to make everyone happy and have people like her, sometimes to a fault. Rem is her best friend and she is very close to Puck and Raken personally as well outside of being Coworkers™️. Shes optimistic and has an intense, perfectionistic ambitious drive. She doesnt just want to solve the problem, she wants it done as perfectly as possible. Rhea is very skilled with dreaming magic largely from natural talent and unusual creative angles to problems.

Rem is the next core character. Where Rhea is a well beloved extroverted friend, Rem is the cool, calm, charismatic, competent leader. Raken is by far the closest to Rem of the three, viewing him as a son-like mentee. He’s wicked smart and extremely competent and experienced with dreaming magic due to his diligence and hard work. Rem is the sort of head hech between the three henchmen. At first hes this bombastic, upbeat leader trying to preserve their morale during their fundamentally morally complex and messy task of giving people nightmares to wake them up. He’s someone Rhea and Puck turn to for advice, and he always is the one calling the shots outside of Raken. He’s also very close with Rhea, being her best friend and working hard to find a way to let her wake up/giving her reasons to wake up again. He’s got a weird, codependent thing going on with Puck that even when everyone was on good terms probably wasnt helping the cause, but at least their respective messiness was contained to each other.

Despite being naturally analytical and intelligent, he is incredibly prone to bad, emotional, impulse decisions, and often jumps to conclusions. He really loves the people close to him but is convinced they dislike him or need more from him constantly which makes things Complicated.

If Rhea has natural talent and charisma, and Rem is diligent and intelligent, Puck is…just sort of there. He’s not especially talented in any one category, nor is he immediately deft from a social perspective. Puck is sort of a loser ngl, hes nowhere nears as talented, skilled, smart, or capable as the others, he just wants his life to be easier but hes constantly stuck in situations that are over his head and he perpetually has to struggle and feel objectively inferior. He really puts the hench in henchmen, he is very infrequently given the opportunity to contribute to plans, hes often just the one that has to carry them out. He was genuinely uncomfortable with the dream queen's plans when employed by the kingdom. He was previously employed as an entertainment clown in the kingdom that no one took seriously which is part of how he was able to overhear the plan, which caused him to leave and join Raken. He has a good heart and strong moral compass and is actually able to see problems far more clearly than Rhea, who gets tunnel vision around perfectionism, and Rem, who gets swayed by his emotions very easily. He is actually very good at getting people to trust and open up to him, and likes making people happy too, just isnt as skilled in it as Rhea. He often gets ignored or taken for granted which he leans into. Sort of a “good things happen to good people, so if bad things happen to me i deserve it” energy.

Raken is the struggling single father trying to wrangle all his henchmen. He is not a bad guy at all, he understands the role he has to play in the dreaming world and takes his responsibility seriously. He loves history and tradition, and values his mantle but does bemoan the inherent suffering he brings. he tries his best to do his job as carefully and conscientiously as possible. He views himself as a mentor figure for his henchmen and tries very hard to help them, but theyre A Lot and he can only do so much. in particular when Rem goes fully off his rocker all he could really do is be like "are you winnin' son"

#my art #for better or worse Rem is my version of twink catra i am so sorry

64 notes · View notes

b0njourbeach · 2 months

Text

My Jade Leech Rant!

"Haha, funny Mushroom man!"

No.

The joke was funny the first 53 times but it's getting boring.

I get it, he spends a lot of time studying and growing mushrooms, he's fascinated in it, so it's easy to make it his personality. I get it, I really do.

But Jade is more than just some twisted merman version of Mario.

Possible spoilers for Book 3 and following. Proceed with caution.

For one, I feel like people often miss the part where Jade expresses interest in *all* kinds of plants - He loves the nature because he grew up in the deepest parts of the ocean where they probably barely had plants and even if they did, they definitely hadn't the kinds we have on land. And this one might be more my own guess but the - possible - reason why Jade is so fixated on mushrooms is the simple fact that they're relatively easy to grow (compared to other land-based plants) and let's be fair here: I don't think a merperson has automatically the needed skills for land-based plant-sitting. So, give a Mushroom a bit of light (optional), some moisture and something to feast on and everything's thriving (I'm guessing. Haven't grown a Mushroom myself before but I do know that they feast on pretty much anything, so).

Also, why is no one mentioning Jades passion for tea? It would actually work with the fandoms insane passion of comparing him to Sebastian (which - again - was amusing the first few times but it's getting annoying). He meets Kalim while studying tea and mentions he's quite interested in it (it was his School Uniform Vignette, if my memory serves me right) and in Ruggies School Uniform Vignette we learn that Jade is also always trying to improve his usage of Herbs of all kinds. His literal special item in the Guest Room is a TEA GUIDE.

And there's another thing I don't get in this fandom: Why does he have to be compared so often to Sebastian? Sure, they both have the "polite gentleman" personality but both of them have very different reasons to do so and last time I checked, Jade ain't a who knows how old demon who made a contract with a severely traumatized orphan just to have a quick snack on his soul later on. I watched Black Butler and as far as I'm concerned, Jade has more depth in his personality than "perfectionist cat loving demon butler for little British brat". But then again, thats just my hot take (and I never really liked Sebastian anyways. On another note: Stop comparing Riddle to Ciel as well).

As I said: Jade is trying to be a polite little guy but fails with elegance on hiding his rather sadistic nature behind a wide smile, leaving him with that everlasting aura of pure mischief which is rather charming in my personal opinion but many people find this more intimidating than charming. So a natural layer of Fear surrounds those who have to deal with Jade - Unless they share a similiar sight like him (as we can see in his interaction with Rook: Instead of being intimidating by the Hunters heartfelt Invasion of privacy, they end up giggling together, causing Riddle - the third wheel of this conversation - to feel mildly but certainly uncomfortable to the point where he left the two of them alone.

Jade is shady, no questions asked but I would like to remind you that Jade also grew up in a very different environment: Not only has he been growing up under the sea, he also had - most likely - fight to survive at some point. Not to mention that his family is heavily implied to be shady business and with shady business, there comes a shady mindset. While Floyd doesn't bother hiding this "setting" of mind, Jade pretty much does so. For what reason? There could be many but as far as I'm aware, we haven't been given a confirmed reason.

It could be a tactical strategy: If he can convince people to trust in the "polite" side of him, giving him the opportunity to surprise them with the true depth of his mind - Luring his enemies like a siren with charming manners, only to slaughter them in a dark alleyway. He openly admitted that he enjoys having control over someone's/somethings life and death (although this was more about the living organisms in his terrariums - Book 4 and his Halloween Card make me believe that this also applies outside of the glass.)

There's also something about Jades specific reaction whenever he shows his more.. Passionate side: He often stops himself and pauses for a moment, before saying that he's joking. In my eyes, he notices how uncomfortable the person in front of him is getting, quickly thinking of an excuse and choosing to pretend that he's joking - It would cause trouble in the future for him if he were to intimidate people to the point of them avoiding him at all cost. People who say things that could be very well from the depths of the darknet happen to freak people out - A lot. More often than not, the person with this knowledge only realizes *after* starting to speak that their words are not necessarily "normal" for the average person. And especially Jade, who - assumingly - grew up surrounded by all kinds of dark stuff, it's certainly rather difficult to adjust your personal average to societies average.

I can also see him as a very extroverted child who wanted to make a lot of friends but never had the chance because of several reasons (for one, kids were often scared of him and his brother and possibly due to family affairs he wasn't allowed or it was significantly more difficult/dangerous to make friends with your average neighbourhood joe. Additionally, many kids misunderstood his gentle teasing as insulting the others even though being mean was a part of his "love language"). I'm also almost certain that he always had to make up for Floyd's mistake growing up, leading him to have this habit even now where he cleans up Floyd's messes or tries to keep up with Floyd's moods the best way possible. Which leads me to one specific personality trait of Jade: He never had the chance to be himself. He always had to be something: Father needed him to be careful, brother needed stability, classmates needed to feel save enough to be comfortable around him, Azul needed a capable right hand. The only times where he was truly himself were the times he was alone - In the nature. In peace, in harmony, studying the land he had not seen before, for he was bound to the Sea.

He's just a guy who's trying to please everyone while also trying to hold onto his personality as good as he possibly can.

And now some headcanons for my favorite shady eel!

He definitely has at least one scar in the shape of a bite mark from fighting with Floyd as kids (including possibly several other scars because these two just can't not fight - Surprisingly, Jade would win most of the fights).

Everytime he gets overwhelmed by something or if he's too stressed, he just leaves for a few hours to go hiking and to just touch some grass to calm down again. He then proceed to cause some petty mischief to call it even (only ¼ of the time people actually knew it was him causing said chaos).

I can't explain this one but I feel like he would have a lactose intolerance.

Out of all three, Jade was the first one who nailed the walking - He struggles with other typical land-sport activities. (One of his worst enemies is couple dancing. It's the only social gathering he tries to avoid like the plague.)

Have I gotten all my thoughts on my dear eel? I hope so. If not, I shall add it later

Ps: I know it's manners but you don't have to thank me every time I answer your ask, dear. I'm enjoying the attention, so it's mutual benefit /lh

#twisted wonderland #twst #jade leech #x answers #twst headcanons #🥀 twst

40 notes · View notes

baurbiediv · 2 years

Text

wish you well

pairing: jack harlow x black!fem!reader

warning: i do NOT portray jack or the rest of his team to act like this at all!

not proofread!

you sometimes wondered if you cared too much

for the longest time jack had been planning and making sure that his tour had been going perfectly.

you watched jack push and over exert himself and you’d wished that we took a break. you couldn’t blame him, this was important for him.

this had been his second biggest tour yet and he wanted nothing but another successful return back

. but you couldn’t blame him, your planning seemed to turn him into a perfectionist and it was easily taking a toll on him, mentally and physically.

so you took it upon yourself to cheer him up. you planned on inviting family and friends over to uplift his mood.

today was the day and you wanted to make sure that it was perfect. slowly but surely people began to arrive and everything was falling into place.

you saw all your friends mingle with one another as it made you smile, all these people loved jack and supported him through his career no matter what.

although, you found jack in a corner by himself with just private garden sitting near him. you took this opportunity to find out what was wrong with him.

you walked over to him and as you got closer and closer, he seemed very timid and his leg was bouncing s mile a minute. gently sitting next to him, you put a hand on his bouncing knee to reassure him.

“you okay jack? you seen a little nervous.”

“i’m fine.”

“are you sure? we could go out and fry some fresh -“

“goddamn y/n! i said i’m fine! could you stop being clingy and breathing down my fucking neck for a minute?!”

for a moment, the entire room went silent and you could hear a pin drop on the ground.

your natural instinct would’ve told you to cry right then and there but that wasn’t even possible.

your mind subconsciously carried you to your feet and to the small closet right next to the front door, your hand gripped the knob and opened the door and the first thing you grabbed was a bat. why would jack decide to embarrass you like this in front of all of these people like this?

“y/n! what are you doing with that bat?!” the voice that was calling after you wasn’t clear, it was fuzzy.

your feet carried you out the door and in front of all jack’s luxury cars.

by now everyone had followed you outside, not knowing what they were about to see.

no one predicted your next move. first you began smashing the windows out of his jeep.

nothing was making sense, you’d only cared for him for so long and you weren’t sure what you did wrong either, so why did he lash out on you like this?

next was his range rover, no hesitation was in mind. your anger knew no limits. you were now busting the windows out of his cars and you didn’t even feel bad.

a strong grip took a hold of you and pulled you away from the cars. the unknown persona took you into the backyard, tears were now pouring out of your eyes and everything was a blurry mess.

“y/n.” you heard someone say as you tried your best to focus on your surroundings. you wiped your eyes and saw sunni kneeling on the ground in front of you. and you’d never been happier to see a friendly face.

“i’m not going to tell you to calm down but i need you to at least breathe.” he told you, he was holding your hands to prevent anything else from happening.

urban came into the back with water for you, and the look on his face was seemingly nervous, not for jack but for you. he’d never seen you meltdown like this ever.

now you were the one bouncing your leg out of complete nervousness. you were shaking your head and in hysterics. urban and sunni couldn’t watch you in this state, so the next best thing was taking you to a hotel for a few days so that you could clear your head.

jack watched as they lead you away from everyone else. he felt bad, he didn’t mean to embarrass you like that, but he felt what he did was justified.

-

haha cliffhanger hahaha

#jack harlow x reader #jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow concepts #bf!jack #jackharlow #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow imagines #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow x black reader #black!fem!reader #black!reader

286 notes · View notes

fallingforfandoms · 7 months

Text

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @all-my-worlds-a-stage (and sorry for only getting back to you so late, but, you know, ideas had to be dwelled upon, etc etc etc)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

14 - could have been less if I had been a a more responsible human being with more impulse control, could be more if I wasn't such a goddamn perfectionist, sigh.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

332,695 (because my projects usually escalate way too quickly, sorry not sorry)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Officially, Tatort - Tatort Ludwigshafen to be specific. Currently peering over the edge for Münster and Wien. And I had a huge obsession with the MCU and The Witcher and Sherlock before, and still have half a novel based on The Night Manager up on my drive somewhere. And then there was also that missing scene from House of Cards that started it all on AO3 (but it's buried beneath a bunch of Lena Odenthal content now, thankfully).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sonne, See und Sterne: The summer holiday fanfic that I wrote throughout December and January (... sounds pretty normal imo) for Lena Odenthal and Johanna Stern and that I still like to read from time to time to dive back into that vibe :')

A Scarred Sunrise: My debut fanfic on ao3, the infamous House of Cards oneshot that probably only got this many kudos because it's not part of a German niche fandom :'D

The Hand Is a Servant of the Heart: The very first Lena/Johanna fic that I published, yet another missing/adapted scene from canon (aka from one of the more traumatising Ludwigshafen episodes that needed some sort of ... band-aid to be fixed, lol).

Das Nest: My very first fluff & smut Lena/Johanna fic that didn't fall into the abyss of trauma and tragedy but instead escalated into a Love Actually rip-off by the end (and I still adore it for that).

Liens de cuir et mains de soie: A dom/sub/switching kinda character study/crossover between Lena Odenthal and Esther Baumann set mostly in France, inspired by the lovely but lowkey deranged idea by @disappointingsalad at the start and improved by her very own contribution at the end - thank you so much! :)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, because I love each and every one of them from the bottom of my heart!!! <3 (Also, the only reason that it takes long-ish for me to reply to some of them is that I cannot stop grinning and jumping up and down out of pure joy every single time I re-read them to reply properly, so, sorry not sorry, but you people make my day with those and I save them in an extra outlook folder because of that <3)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Since I'm usually rather fond of happy endings, I tend to resolve most of the tension. "Zerrissene Fäden" would be a possible candidate though. Maybe also "I've Come To Burn Your Kingdom Down" or "A Scarred Sunrise". Because of the uncertainty that still simmers through towards the end, but idk.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well, since I'm a sucker for happy endings, they're all quite happy so far. But the happiest ... huh. Maybe "Das Nest". Or "Sonne, See und Sterne". Or "Liens de cuir et mains de soie". I can't decide on this either, apparently, oops :'D

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, no. But that's one of the few advantages of a small German fandom without great shipping wars, I suppose :'D

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Yes. Been there, done that, many kinds of that, in fact. Anything from the sweet vanilla kind (looking at all those 'found family' tropes) over the fast and messy ONS kind to the dom/sub-themed and/or throuple 'well that escalated quickly' kind. Each has its own perks. And its challenges (looking at the classic wlw problem of overusing "she" etc). But I still love delving into those headcanons on a regular (and mildly irresponsible) basis ;)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I wouldn't call it far-fetched since both fandoms are Tatort-related, but the sub/dom-themed Ludwigshafen/Saarbrücken crossover up on ao3 is definitely ... some kind of crazy. And then there are also all those Wien / Münster / Bremen ideas which haven't quite left the nest that @all-my-worlds-a-stage and I have so far built for them. Look forward to those ;) Also, in non-Tatort terms, there was this one Geralt/Loki fanfic I started years ago but I'm ... not even sure I'd find that cursed document again at present :'D

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'd know of it (niche fandoms strikes again).

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope (niche fandoms strikes again).

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, with @disappointingsalad. And I'm currently working on some other ideas that require more than my last two braincells, in this case with the help of @all-my-worlds-a-stage ;)

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Given my ao3 history, the case seems pretty clear - definitely Lena Odenthal/Johanna Stern. Honorable mentions go out to Sherlock/John, Geralt/Jaskier and Jamie/Brienne. And to Wilhelmine Klemm as well, because whoever she ends up with is so goddamn lucky to have her (and I'm here for each and everyone of them).

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh God. Most of them, I suppose, given the lethal combination of adhd and perfectionism that rule my brain? :'D But the first thing that came to mind was the band AU I started a couple of months ago. Because the movie playing in my mind just at the thought of it is already so perfect and I don't have any idea how to get all of those scenes written down in exactly that way.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Probably dialogue? The amount of raw dialogue I've written as a kick-off for some vague idea is ... quite telling. In many ways.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Introspection. Whenever it comes to the thoughts of characters, my own mind is just ... blank. No idea what they could be feeling or thinking in this very moment, or rather, no idea how to phrase it without putting it into dialogue. Yeah, I know, just what a non-TV writer needs to work properly :'D

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Been there, done that, probably wouldn't do it again, at least not in the way I did it then.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Officially, House of Cards. Unofficially, probably Sherlock? Or the MCU? That was ... ages ago though.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

You CANNOT ask a mother which of her children she- well. Wait a minute. I think I'll throw "Von Schwertglanz und Schattengewächsen" in there, the medieval Tatort Ludwigshafen AU I started this February. Because this is such a long-ass project that has accompanied me through some pretty ... interesting months and I worked so many inspirations and easter eggs into it. And I'm continuing to do that now, in this very moment, because I watched a very gruesome Tatort Wien episode (thx for the rec @carlomainzinger ;_;) that had just the right amount of protective & soft found family vibes and raw & unfiltered force to thwart me back into this setting (not as hard as Bibi was thwarted around her own flat though, uargh). So, yeah, uh, look forward to that, the wait might be over soon ;)

Well. That was fun. Throwing this over to @carlomainzinger @mordsfesch @krejong @rheingoldweg12a @occhi-verdi-come-il-mare @disappointingsalad @karin-in-action @khalaris @cornchrunchie and literally anyone else who wants to join in, no pressure though!

#tagging game #jo schreibt

19 notes · View notes

ed-recovery-affirmations · 6 months

Note

Thank you for your blog, it truly means so much to see your kind words and know that I am not alone.

On that note- does anyone else feel like your ed is just kind of sapping the life out of you? I make it to work fine but it seems I have so much less energy for things I used to enjoy. Not physically - I’m eating not great, but ok. But mentally. I feel so exhausted by the search for a therapist, the hoops to jump through, the constant thinking/planning about food, etc.

I know I haven’t been there for my friends, some of whom are going through a really hard time rn, and it’s killing me. I normally love Christmas and all that comes with it, but I haven’t sent a single card or put thought into gifts. Etc. Because once I’m done with my “must do”s I just want to lie in bed and stare at my phone.

Not sure if there’s advice for this, haha. I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this way and if there’s anything you can do about that. Thank you 💕

Oh yes, this is very real and I bet you’ll find you’re not alone. Having an ED and putting the work into ED recovery can be all-consuming. Do remember that it’s okay to put this time into yourself. Prioritizing your healing now will lay such a good groundwork for the healed person you can become. But it is also okay to take a little time to grieve what this is taking from you - that, for example, you are going to have to have a much less elaborate holiday season this year, just because you are doing what you can manage. I think it’d be a good idea to do what you can manage for the holidays, just so you can take a few moments this month to enjoy something you traditionally enjoy, but try not to beat yourself up if the fanfare is much milder than you’ve managed in previous years, which can be difficult, as those of us in ED recovery tend to be perfectionists. The holidays can give us a lot of pressure to put on a big show, too, but remember that at the end of the day, it’s really about your own love and light and joy. So try to focus on what that means for you right now and enjoy what you can of it, and when you’re getting drained, you can stop. Learning to take on only what you can manage and being kind to yourself about it is a great way of practicing listening to what your body and your mind need.

As to your friends and their hard times - you too are going through a hard time. It’s admirable to want to be there for your friends, but there are going to be times in life where you have to put on your own oxygen mask first in a crisis, and that does not make you a bad friend. If you explain to your friends “I see what you’re going through and wish I could do more for you, but I am also overwhelmed with some difficult things I am dealing with right now.” A good friend should understand that. If you feel comfortable detailing your struggles to eat and find a good therapist, that might help give them more context, but you can also let them know if you don’t feel comfortable talking more about it at this time. Just affirming to them that you do still care can go a long way, even if you can’t do more - which is okay. There are going to be times in life, because life does get complicated, where you have to prioritize some things of your own, and help your friends as much as you can. And we all must learn to do what we can do, and to accept to ourselves when we have reached those limits and tell ourselves that what we can do is enough. You’re still allowed to feel frustrated, drained, and missing the things you used to be able to do. Those things will cone back - or you will build new joys as they fit your life wherever you’re at, and that’s okay too. I hope you are able to find some amounts of joy in this holiday season.

#ed recovery #put on your own oxygen mask first #self love #self care #holidays #holiday season #holiday stress #mental fatigue

9 notes · View notes

sunset-bridge · 1 year

Note

I agree completely but i iwant you to elaborate anyeaha

-chai gay sex giy(ps i haveca migraine so that is why i cant typw)

MR CHAI GAY SEX in my askbox. no fucking way.....! ai generated. also i hope your migraine clears soon friend : (

anyways AHEM.

ok well. ocd... is the obsession disorder. i think you can already percieve some of this . what with how Obsession is such a theme with goro. Obsession with the Protagonist Obsession with Revenge Obsession with Perfection.

i think he could have pure O ocd. for anyone that doesnt know, pure O ocd is when you only have the obsessions but not physical compulsions. ex: i have an obsession about my house burning down but instead of doing any physical rituals like checking the stove or jumping up and down or pacing around etc. etc . i just. do mental obsessions, like repeating a phrase, counting to a number, arguing with my brain why my house WONT burn down for 4353 hours etc.

he could very well also have classic OCD but... frankly with how little time he would have to make any compulsions due to his frantic public life, im almost certain that 99% of them are mental.

OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive PERSONALITY disorder) is also a candidate for an additional disorder. for anyone that isnt familiar, this disorder is what most people would think as being a "perfectionist" or a "control freak". but to a degree where its obsessive and damaging to your quality of life. its common for it to couple with classic OCD (haha me...) and the combo is quite... devastating.

anyways. i just think the way he doubts his own convictions after meeting the protag is very ocd like.. he tries so hard to not recognize them and to convince himself hes right. he cant be wrong. he CANT AFFORD TO BE WRONG. not about his whole self! nnot about everything he stands for! it would hurt so deeply to be told you been doing it wrong your whole life.. that your core of thinking is wrong..resonates with me.. although for him specifically it would also be real event ocd (when a thing ACTUALLY happened in the past and your obsessions are about this thing etc and any implications. repeating events in your head and analyzing them ad nauseum etc) . i also think the sunk cost thing applied at some point absolutely 100% like. you dedicated your life to this plan. and you want to stop now??? no way. you already put so much into it. got to see it through. you're right. everyone else is wrong. they have to be.everything is hinging on this. no no. its just an intrusive thought. you're right. you have to be. if not, then what the hell was everything for!!

AND ALSO. how he is so. obsessive over maintaning his public image. ofc its for his plan but the feeling still applies. he Needs to be aware of everything always Everything must go according to plan Every detail must be perfect . I need to know what you Expect so i can perform correctly. You will never catch me off guard. I will be in control I need to Be the ONE in control of my life. etc. and so forth

also just the way his life is fleeting away being obsessed with his whole revenge spiral while he kinda gets more fucked up in his brain inside his skull day by day without saying anything to anyone. none of these people know etc...

very ocd core of his part. reminds me of my lowest moments where it felt like i was gonna die in the corner of my room but everything was happening in my brain. i felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife and twisting it inside. but no one else could see (this is not me being dramatic it really just Feels like That. very frustrating. a lot of people with ocd and other anxiety disorders can agree that they cause physical symptoms..)

and yeah his catharsis moment at shidos palace ... yeah...the raw emotion and the cruelty of reality hitting you in the face... everything you lived for and all of your ideals were wrong. this is my worst nightmare. i dont think i could be as strong.

thank you for listening to me! i shall go to sleep.

EDIT ALSO. r/ocdmemes moment

case closed

#:3c #i love you goro.#goro akechi #persona 5 #p5 #p5 spoilers #p5r spoilers #persona 5 spoilers #character analysis #tell me what you people think! i love to hear.#long post #kibow #kibou talks way too fucking much

14 notes · View notes

kquil · 8 months

Note

🧁 — character shipping !

im in university, and I’m majoring in political science. im very extroverted but don’t like being forced to talk to people, and I’m very stubborn and probably have minor anger issues, but I keep them in control most of the time. im an ESFP and im a virgo, im an avid reader, and i speak seven languages including english.

im a ravenclaw, id like to say im very adventurous and don’t let fear stop me from doing anything scary/cool, and my love language is physical/acts of service. i love to cook, i love spicy ramen, and im a perfectionist who likes keeping everything neat all the time. my aesthetic is probably old academia/preppy princess.

i love love wearing skirts, big fat cardigans, and cozy socks. my makeup style is soft and light, ( no eyeliner, lots of pink/blue eyeshadow and mascara ).

im straight and a cisgender female, and i love going to the library, cafes, and boba shops.

thank you !

goodness, reading about you, i feel like we could become great friends haha! we have so many things in common! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ nevertheless, thank you for celebrating my milestone event with me and im so sorry for taking so long to deliver on it!

i ship you with, Sirius Black

i. it's funny how you don’t like being forced to talk to other people because that was exactly how you met sirius. As a result, the two of you got off on the wrong foot but because the two of you had mingling friendship groups, you saw each other often and were forced to interact often and eventually…eventually sirius started noticing how fun it was talking to you and how similar the two of you were to each other when it came to doing things spontaneously despite the dangers, in fact, the two of you got closer because you did something together that the rest of your friendship group were too hesitant to do that being playing on a swing that looked to be 100 years old.

ii. you and sirius often talk together in french (let's pretend that french is one of the languages you speak!) and end up giggling with each other over the inside jokes the two of you have in french. your friends just look on, rolling their eyes but grinning at how adorable you two are together; as much as they hate you two giggling over something they can’t giggle along to as well, they love the fact that you two were having so much fun more.

iii. however, as much as the two of you have your sweet moments together, that can’t be said when you two have an argument because you’re both as stubborn as the other. you quickly got into the routine of walking away from each other to cool down before returning to reconcile later on when you’re both level headed again. when you return to each other, you both feel so guilty and always end up cuddling in silence but comfort as well, sharing a loving kiss every once in a while. the first time you had a major argument, you two had to walk away from each other to calm down after saying some things that didn’t need to be said. and when you finally reconciled the next day, you had taken the time to bake sirius cookies to apologise and he vowed to sort his anger issues from then on, encouraged by the swell of affection in his heart for you.

iv. as a perfectionist, you appreciate sirius for also being neat. you assumed that he would be pretty messy or keep his room relatively disorganised but he was habitually very neat and tidy because of his upbringing. you appreciated his habits but kissed him every time you saw him actively tidying up his space or organising his things in his environment, slowly replacing his bad memories at home and reinforcing his tidy habits with kinder, more loving memories instead.

v. aesthetics wise, you and sirius appear as exact opposites, sirius with his biker bad boy appearance, clad in black leather, belts, spikes and unconventional accessories. and then there’s you with your old academia and preppy princess fashion. exact opposites. but sirius adores your aesthetics; he thinks you look adorable, elegant and feminine. and his absolute most favourite thing to do, whenever you wear one of your fat cardigans, he likes to reach under it and wrap his arms around your waist and press his face into your neck for cuddles.

vi. and even though you look amazing in your skirts, he’s always extra cautious when there are other guys around and will subtly cover you so you don’t accidentally flash anyone. he wants you to be able to wear whatever you want comfortably without anyone making you feel uncomfortable or violated in any way. you don’t really realise what he’s doing at first but when you do, you can’t help the smile that stretches across your face and you get into the habit of kissing him sweetly every time he does a gesture like that for you.

vii. another thing sirius loves doing is watching you do your makeup, you look beautiful before and after but watching you elegantly put your makeup on and put so much care into it made him want to stare. and he would stare all while smiling like a complete goofy, heart in his eyes and a dopey air about him. the best thing about it is that whenever you catch him doing that, you would finish up and then pull him into a soft kiss to snap him out of it — you two have become the lovey dovey couple he used to poke fun at hehe~

viii. also! because of you, sirius has discovered spicy ramen and boba and he will be forever grateful for that. whenever you two would go around muggle london together, your first stop would always be your favourite boba tea place before you both stoked up on your favourite spicy ramen. on cold winter nights, where the two of you found it hard to sleep, you would religiously meet in the kitchens, cook some ramen and eat it together.

1K MILESTONE EVENT : CLOSED | NAVI.

#☀︎ : 1k milestone #☀︎ : 1k #🧁 : cupcake 1k #🧺 : the picnic #closed event #no longer taking requests #sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black x you #sirius x reader #sirius orion black #sirius black imagine #sirius black fluff

8 notes · View notes

wheelcr · 2 years

Note

hi flora! i loveeee your new theme! it's so so pretty and u did so well on the icon ^ anyways i wanted to ask for like, more info of finn in ur actress dr?? im so smitten for finn ajsnsa and i just wanted to know more abt him

- 🏩 nonnie

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐑. ✧ ˚ ༘ ゛

hiii there my pretty pretty nonie! tysm i'm so so happy you like it darl <3 and ofc!! i love talking about finn obv i'm smitten for him too [ dreamy sigh ] i think i also received an ask about finn from @timotheesl0ve but accidentally deleted it and forgot about it so :/ this post might be a lil diff from my other ones ^^ includes some text msgs and scenarios from my dr

♡. okay, jesus, where do i even begin?? finn is a tall, lanky, chaotic, super loud, force of nature

when i first met him, he was kinda awkward— like fidgeting and stuff, stuttered out a "hey, i'm finn" "oh i know" "oh.. well then" was not really how i wanted to kick off our friendship

♡. once he warms up enough, he's super goofy and playful. also really sweet!! :c he told me i looked pretty and that he was a huge fan of my show, and i never blushed as hard as i did that afternoon i swear

and the thing about him, he knows damn well what he's doing. the tiny smirk that crept up on his face when he saw my cheeks redden definitely told me so

♡. whatever confidence and charm he has in real life is totally amplified at work! i wouldn't say that finn is a perfectionist, because there are definitely a shit ton of moments where he's lazy and chill, but when he does something, he puts his whole finn - ussy into it yk what i mean?? you can tell that he really enjoys what he does and works hard for it, and it pays off bc the shit he makes turns out so so so good!!

♡. one thing i like about finn is that he's honest, makes it so much easier to communicate tbh ^^ he's straight up about everything, doesn't like to beat around the bush he's super genuine and sincere and i find it so akaioqjdjwfujd he's so perfect :ccc

♡. adding to the last one, he's also sometimes too honest.. like in a spontaneous oversharing kinda way...

bambi 😼💤 [ 11 : 25 ] — flor flora florie floorwax

🥓 sunshine. [ 11 : 28 ] — what do you wajt its 11pm finn

bambi 😼💤 [ 11 : 29 ] — bird outside my window c:

bambi 😼💤 [ 11 : 29 ] — also i really need to pee

🥓 sunshine. [ 11 : 32 ] — good for oyu wolfhard

🥓 sunshine. [ 11 : 32 ] — goodnight.

♡. love love loves!! vintage aesthetics! when discussing movie night in our gc he has to suggest at least one old chick flick. has tons and tons of playlists just filled with 80s music. also loves taking polaroids and low quality videos with like the grain that makes it look super old

^^ which is why finn was super hyped about the take on me cover he did with calpurnia. wouldn't stop talking my ear off about it for weeks and i honestly didn't mind. the dreamy look in his doe eyes when he talks about something he's passionate about is to die for

♡. super touch starved. doesn't initiate anything super touchy - feely at first but trust me, he enjoys it very much. he loves having his hand held. says it makes him feel grounded and safe. also loves when people play with his hair!! isn't afraid to ask for affection but will bite me if i question it

"lili can you play with my hair?" he mumbled once, face smushed into one of my velvet cushions

me being me, i just couldn't pass the opportunity for at least a little bit of teasing over my friend's little request "awww, puppy wants pets? you need me to play with your hair hmmm?"

"..." "..haha, do you still want—" "good fucking bye >:c" i almost died from laughter watching his tall figure retreating to my kitchen to eat all my banana bread as payback

♡. moody moody boy. one moment he's bouncing off the walls and joking around and having the time of his life, then he reads one hate comment or remembers something that he didn't want to remember and his mood goes super duper sour :c

like if he's upset he won't be rude or snappy but he'll definitely be super quiet and really really dry. ( his annoyed voice is kinda h— ) if he's upset by something someone did, he's not one for confrontation at first, but he's gonna make so many jabs and sarcastic remarks

♡. super sentimental lil man. he loves to take pictures and short clips, and basically document everything going on 'just for the sake of it'. i think this mainly comes from the fact that our friend group consists of a lot of vloggers. finn likes keeping memories stored in a safe place where he can edit them and make them look all pretty just for him and his friends to look back on and laugh, and i find it so so endearing

♡. okay but like despite the whole mysterious, almost like untouchable kinda aura he emits because of his thick lashes and half - lidded eyes, he's just a boy. a boy who still makes 'your mom' jokes and finds farting funny. a boy who completely bursts my eardrums with a rickroll everytime he joins discord vc. a boy who went skating with me down the street while yelling "THEY SEE ME ROLLING—" and i love him so much. he's my best friend <3

#⠀💭 ۫⠀love letters.⠀୨୧⠀· ˚ 𓈒 #🏩 — nonnie ♡︎#꒰⠀file : actress dr⠀꒱#bambi!#might make a part 2 because i love talking about finn smsm hes so great #( and so handsome )#shifting #reality shifting #desired reality #shiftblr #finn wolfhard x reader #finn wolfhard #storytimes.

57 notes · View notes

iheartchv · 3 months

Note

Hello, I would like to get a COD match up :)

I'm 5ft 6 female, INTJ and Leo. I have a short hair dyed light brown and bangs.

I was told that I'm quiet at work and school. I really enjoy hanging out with friends or someone whom I care about. I love to explore new places such as finding new park, cafe or shops. I also enjoy doing stuff at home such as cooking, watching movies & documentaries, playing games and drawing (in bed lol).

I enjoy talking alot to someone who has the similar interest (I can talk non-stop when given the chance) and to someone who's willing to properly listen. I have a problem with expressing my feelings and I wish to be able to express it to someone who I can trust haha.

I love dogs and I wish to be able to own one. I love dad joke secretly. I enjoy tea instead of coffee. I enjoy learning and gaining knowledge. I can be competitive and slightly perfectionist as I tend to plan things ahead.

Thank you so much for doing this!

🤔 I'll pair you with...

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish 🧼

I think Soap would be your match

I feel like he would be both your best friend and life partner

Opposites but you both bring out the best in each other

For this scenario, lets just say that Soap lives near or close to where you do

You met Soap one day when you were shopping;

You had already seen him around for sometime

He was behind you in line at the register

You were short on some money so he offered to pay for what the remaining amount was

He didn't buy much for himself anyway

"Thank you... you didn't have to..."

"True. But I wanted to. I wouldn't be a decent human being if I didn't help you out, would I?"

You were quite shocked at the actions of this man

You thanked him again and gathered your groceries, having enough going out for the day

The next time you saw him, he came into the cafe to buy him a coffee

He noticed someone was looking at you with malicious intent

He knew the guy was planning something with the way he kept looking at you

Looked like he was concealing a gun, probably planning to mug you and steal your bag

He knew these guys all too well, what with all the training he did before after joining the SAS

So with a small cup of java in hand, he came to where you were sitting and tried to start a conversation with you

"Hey, there you are. I was looking for you"

You stared blankly and blinked in confusion

"You... were?"

"Yeah. Why'd you go off without me?"

Your face: 🤨

In a hushed voice he'd tell you there was some man looking at you very strangely but not to look at him, otherwise he will run away and try to jump you when he wasn't around

"I'm trained to notice guys like that."

"Just play along"

He then started to lead you into a conversation, trying to act normal and casual

"I was worried about you."

"Oh... sorry. I thought you'd want me to go on without you." you replied

He asked questions, trying to find something to talk to you about

He finally got a hit when he asked about pets, or animals

He found out you liked dogs

He did, too

The guy finally gave up and walked out

Soap breathed out a sigh of relief like he was holding his breath, and you did too

"Good job, lassie. He'll probably go else where, but... I think I'm gonna stick around to make sure."

He accompanied you home, being your body guard for the day

No sign of the creep since earlier that day

But during this time, you both were properly introduced

"The name suits you for a bonnie lass like yourself."

He flirted, just a little

He loved seeing your light rosy cheeks

Thought you were such a cutie

🤍

Since then, he got to know you more

Soap is always up to go to new places

When going out, is it Soap dragging you around or you dragging Soap around? 😆

"If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you" He'd say to you

He really means it

You've become a special friend to him

And he didn't know when, but he started to fall for you

It was a little crush, nothing harmless

And then he started thinking about you a lot

Then you'd be in his dreams

He'd then notice how his heart would jump and race at the sight of you

And he wants to do everything with you

Welp, he knew it then he had it bad for you

He didn't want to scare you off or ruin your friendship, but he wanted to tell you how he felt for you

When he tells you he waits for your answer....

What do you say? OvO

#//hope you like your match ^v^/~♡#ask #request #call of duty matchup #cod matchup #matchup #match up #cod mw #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #call of duty modern warfare 3 #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod soap #call of duty soap #johnny soap mactavish #soap x reader #soapxreader #iheartchv

2 notes · View notes

diagnosed-anxiety-disorder · 1 year

Text

life of a perfectionist kadjlfa

uhhh mini rant:

I've noticed that the one thing stopping me from improving on my anatomy skills is that my first attempt at actually drawing (thing im not that good at drawing) always looks bad to me so I just give up. I never draw legs or entire arms and I always try to hide hands in drawings. I just need to step out of my comfort zone because I want to draw more expressive art with cool poses but... I don't know. I hate seeing myself produce "bad" art even though it isn't bad at all, I just need to practice. I know I should stop comparing myself to other artists and I could always improve but I feel like I've been holding myself back for some reason and I'm not sure why. I just need to stop being so critical on myself haha

idk why i hold such high expectations on myself. I mean, I could probably figure out why but... yeah. I cope through humor so have a meme

#funny hyahya #artist #artist meme #art meme

13 notes · View notes

the1975attheirverybest · 4 months

Note

It is true that i need to learn to learn to stand to lose too because i was a 'gifted kid' and i dont think i need to say how scared i am of coming out as 'talentless' lol

I think a big part of it is also that i dont feel very supported? Which i think is partly my fault because i know my family doesnt really understand any artistic medium and none of my friends are in the music field and dont really get why im dping this if im not studying music (which is actually so silly to think because why do i have to stick to only one form of art?)

In lighter terms, ive been writhing a lot lately and felt quite proud of some stuff i came out with, and finished one i cry everytime i play so i was quite happy with how i could capture it out.

Its so scary to let people see how you think but ill try to work on it, thanks halla for taking the time to respond to this, i really really appreciate it 💕

-🤖

Ohhhh babeee. I get that believe me 💗💗 I’m a scholarship kid who got into the Ivy leagues (if you’re not in the US: Harvard, Stanford, MIT, UPenn etc) but then had a mental breakdown and almost got kicked out of the program. Believe me, I know how you feel. the perfectionism is a blessing and a curse lmao. I also come from generations of a STEM family who don’t really get the whole literature thing hahahha. Growing up, I was always told “can’t you just….read books as a hobby? Get a degree that pays money!” (Which is fair enough. Unemployment rates for English PhDs is 60% they’re not wrong lmao).

But that’s where I think Matty’s statement, though dramatic, is serially true. Artists who stop making art would go insane. You did not choose this music thing. It chose you. And if you forced yourself to just not do it anymore and try something “safe” that you can excel at easily to scratch that perfectionist need to do everything in the best possible way, then you might be happy for 5 seconds. But you’ll eventually start to miss the music and do anything you can to get back to it. That’s how I feel now about my abandoned degree in creative writing lol. Keep at it. Life is too short to hold back from things that you love just cuz some dumbass out there who can’t get their head out of their ass doesn’t like what you have to say. Good news!! There is soooo much music out there for all sorts of folks and their tastes. The people who like you will choose you and those who don’t can fuck off and go find some music they do like!

Oh hey no thanks necessary. I’m really glad you’re doing this. We need artists all the time. Can never have enough!

Maybe try this: make a song about being scared to make songs for this project and maybe include it in the project? Could be therapeutic? Haha.

#🤖anon

3 notes · View notes

belaephemeral · 7 months

Text

a little update :)

Hi everyone! This is a late update but something I've been meaning to share for a while.

So I haven't been writing for a while and that's because I had stopped during a point where I was going through a lot in my personal life. I'm so sorry to have subjected you to my writing during that time since I wasn't my best and I had my first uni exams ;-; overall, I was glad to even have gotten past that time in my life but a lot of things started piling up from there on.

During the Summer, I had planned to finish "It's no coincidence, it's a kitty-incidence" but I was juggling many things. I had a legal internship at a prestigious firm (I became a corporate girlie and slave haha), I had to handle family problems and get rid of my toxic friend group, apply for vacation schemes and mini-pupillages, and I am helping to lead a law conference for my university society. I hope you can understand I wasn't in the right place mentally to write stories. Such stories that mean so much to me if you are able to feel a fraction of the warmth and the love that I dedicate and place into them. Thus, I didn't write so that you wouldn't have to be subject to anything sub-par.

I'm a bit (actually a lot) of a perfectionist; this is both a benefit and a flaw. It started being a problem for my writing when I used to get palpitations and anxiety whenever I posted a new piece. I guess it's something that was self-imposed but I didn't want my oneshots to be less than perfect. Because of this, I kept scrapping drafts and rethinking pre-established plots. I would love to continue writing but i need to understand when to stop putting myself down just because I think something won't get a good reception.

All in all, this isn't to say that I will stop writing but my writing might take some time to come out.

Moreover, I'm so appreciative that I've hit 100 followers! One thing that really put me off was the onslaught of bots following my page so to see that you genuinely like my writing and would like to see me flourish is super encouraging <3 Thank you to everyone and if I was able to touch you with my stories, I am so grateful that I was able to.

I might do something special to celebrate this milestone so let me know if you have any ideas!

Thank you once again for enjoying my little stories!

#update

3 notes · View notes