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#i mean. canonically he would probably be SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE but like ignore that for a second and just remember
robanilla-arts · 1 month
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nobody requested ink and nightmare for the rare pair prompt so i guess i had to do it myself
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szollibisz · 13 days
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Do you have any hcs abt how Curt and Owen "came out" to one another? (Using the term loosely cuz obviously they can't just be like "IM GAY") And also how they got together (who fell first etc etc)
Ok, so to preface this, my favourite thing about curtwen is just how many ways you can interpret their pre-canon relationship.
I try to keep their story relatively loose in my head, save for a few headcanons I very strongly believe in, because it's more fun this way.
For me, the #1 headcanon that's in all the iterations I think of, is that they hated each other at first. I think their personalities clash way too much for them to be all buddy-buddy on the first day. (Physical attraction? maybe. Was it minuscule compared to their irritation with each other? yes.)
I just think it's interesting how the two of them gradually (and begrudgingly) start to care about each other.
I think their "friendship stage" is one of my favourite parts about the whole thing. Now I refuse to believe either of those men have friends. Maybe coworkers and acquaintances, but not friends. Which is why this stage lasts so little.
As their work their way up to care for and respect each other, both of them go a little crazy about it.
It's the first time in years or even decades they felt genuine affection and maybe even trust, and both of them are extremely starved for it. So it really doesn't take much for them to fall for each other. (especially since the aforementioned physical attraction was always there and only getting stronger as they learned to tolerate each other)
I imagine, because of this, Owen was the one who fell first, and he employed his usual tactic for dealing with unwanted feelings: Being an ass and depriving himself of good things. He got more intense about his work, trying to immerse himself in it, so he'll stop thinking about Curt. He stayed up late, didn't even try to take it easy when he had a migraine, drank shit coffee and other great things.
It technically worked. He looked like shit, which in turn made Curt worried, and if Owen completely invalidated his worries the two of them would get into a fight, be mad at each other and not interact so much. Owen thought this would make him not yearn for Curt so bad (he still did, in fact, yearn for him that bad)
When Curt realized he was in love with Owen he was pretty horrified. Like listen. If someone has commitment issues it's Curt. Maybe he had a boyfriend or two during his teenage years/twenties, but they didn't end well, and since then he's been trying to keep everybody at arms length. He convinced himself Owen wasn't so bad because hey. They were just buddies (and Curt desperately needed a buddy.)
He tried to shove down and ignore his feelings, but moaning your friend's name while banging another guy may just be a little more than what you can avoid.
He never understood why Owen turned so cold suddenly, and he was terrified Owen just didn't like or trust him anymore. In turn he was also mad at him for trying to shut him out.
Their little hate renaissance could only last so long though. They were still each other's only friends and no matter what they did they kept being drawn back to each other.
This was a super long preface but. I am not normal about those two.
So. different scenarios and headcanons and whatnot
1. Either one of them somehow discovers the other is gay. This would probably mean Owen finding out about Curt, because, I wholeheartedly believe that man would leave during a mission sometimes just to get a quick fuck in. Maybe Owen finds out with evidence (fast & easy method) or he just starts strongly suspecting with his great spying and deduction skills (slow & torturous method, he'd try to convince himself he's just seeing what he wants to see) either way, the confrontation would be very uncomfortable for both of them. Curt would deny it ofc, and Owen would go through the internal battle of "tell him it's fine, you won't rat him out, but be a little homophobic about it, so maybe you can keep the only friend you have, but also be ok with the fact that he'll always be with other men and never you" or "tell him you're gay too, maybe he likes you, maybe not, and potentially risk losing your job and livelihood and everything you've ever worked for" He'd most likely end up doing the latter, surprising both Curt and himself. (He's already way more into Curt than he admits to himself) And things escalate from there.
2. Dramatic post mission (maybe a "I thought I'd never see you again" moment) This is where their friendship gets really interesting to me. For a scenario like this the months long yearning is a given, maybe even a lot of unresolved tension between the two (which would probably be resolved with violence anyways) They care very deeply about each other by now. They know each other better than anyone, and their idyllic relationship is only made into a living hell by all the pining. At this point I mean, they'd buy each other birthday gifts, go over to the other's house when they were in the same country and share way too much info over drinks. Their job is always dangerous, but even they can get scared. Maybe we're talking being crazy outnumbered, or a torture/hostage situations, or hell even a collapsing building. Point is, id either one of them thought the other (or both of them) may die, at this point they'd be impulsive enough to just say I love you or kiss the other. In the moment neither of them would care, and later on, when you'd normally talk about things like near death makeout sessions, they'd just. not. do that, because communication is for guys with better life prospects. This one has absolutely no coming-out talk in it, simply because they don't need it
3. Possibly drunk hookup Now clearly, we are talking about two of the most down bad men ever. This is one scenario, I think could also work really well when they still really hated each other. Maybe throughout their first few mission they both gathered enough evidence and sussed each other out, and after (yet another) explosive fight they might just. Alleviate the tension by not beating each other up but by. other means. They don't end up talking much about it, but it keeps happening, and wait maybe they don't even hate each other all that much. (This is the more sober option) The other one is where the "possibly drunk" comes in. If they've been friends for a while, they probably got used to working around each other and finding comfort in the other's presence. This includes little habits, inside jokes, and even (very small) physical touches. This probably wouldn't go down during a mission, it's more likely to happen at either Curt's or Owen's house, maybe during some holiday. Both of them realizing it's a pretty bad idea early on, because, without all the stress of the missions and navigating a foreign country all that's left is them and the feelings they have for each other. Owen would probably say no to drinks for the first few times, just to avoid a potentially dangerous situation, but Curt would wear him down eventually. Now, with both of them drunk and comfortable, it wouldn't take much for things to escalate. Maybe Curt forgets to take his hand off of Owen after patting him on the back, or Owen holds Curt gaze for a little too long. Either way, those two end up fucking. The next day both of them are a little horrified, but they manage to come clean about their feelings (even if it's in the most backwards and convoluted way possible)
Happy ending (or not) There's many more ways it could've happened, but I already wrote wayyyy too much I think.
In the end I don't think they'd ever have a proper conversation about homosexuality, even way into their relationship. It's something they slowly pick up on from each other. How ashamed are they, what makes them tick, what you shouldn't say etc. And then of course, since they don't communicate properly and sometimes purposefully hurt each other, they'd throw it all back in the other's face.
I'm not sure this is what you meant when you asked for hcs, but I got carried away.
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keef-a-corn · 6 months
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ok ok ok ok, what the actual fuck? you think he was a child soilder?
*grabs some popcorn* You have caught my interest. Please, elaborate. Thoroughly. *starts munchin on popcorn*
Yes, yes I do.
I’ll be honest I made that post when my Melatonin had kicked in but considering that you and others
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Had responded, I will talk about it.
So we’re all on the same page here are some definitions of Child Soldiers and an important note.
The rest of the hc is under the cut.
This is a UNICEF page about child soldiers
Most importantly
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As well as this save the children definition
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ALSO I don’t have this head canon to glorify Child Soldiers. But I will take this moment to encourage donations or to raise awareness about child soldiers and general exploitation of children. Everyone deserves to feel safe, loved, secure, and to have a proper childhood.
Okay now let’s be clear, it’s a Head Canon, like I don’t think that it was implied throughout the show.
Cool? Cool.
As the anon had highlighted, the hc is that Bee was a child soldier. Literally a child that was a soldier.
Very similar to the fact that the Terrans (who aren’t even a year old) are being trained to be soldiers.
Like let’s address that real quick. There is no way in hell that the Terrans are even close to being adults. They are for all purposes children. However they are being trained for combat and have been involved in fights since they were first created.
Which is where the HC stemmed from. (Not all of this is canon compliant, especially not with G1, but I try to keep it close to TFE canon)
Bee has a very… loose idea of self preservation. He mostly hid from GHOST for Optimus’s sake, believing that if he was caught Optimus would be in trouble.
He believes his only purpose is to be useful and he’s only useful when he’s making progress on something, hence why he was in such a rush and so desperate to begin training.
Along side that is that Bee didn’t consider that the Terrans needed time to come around to the idea of training, having had that thrust upon him since a young age.
He had no time to settle in or come to terms, why would they?
When he was growing up, he also wanted to get involved with the big battles, use weapons, and do other field work, but was told he wasn’t ready yet. However after minimal training he was brought into battle and an active participant- which is why he thinks the Terrans are ready to be involved in a super important mission without any other backup.
Bee didn’t think much of the fact that the Terrans were being trained at such a young age because the first part of his childhood had most likely been long suppressed by then, while the second part, where he was trained and involved in a war, was all he could remember and use for reference.
In his eyes that was how he was raised and since he ended up so similar to the other Cybertronians, that means that he was probably raised very similarly to them and if he wasn’t, they all ended up in the same place, so it didn’t matter and he was fine.
However he isn’t. He was so used to ignoring that he was so young that it left in an uncomfortable place when it came to socialising. He was unable to relate to anyone younger than him, but would actually struggle when socialising with his fellow Cybertronians (unable to pick up queues [like when he was annoying Megatron, or when Arcee was poking fun with the idea that she was the kids new teacher], relying heavily on Optimus for support and having trouble asking for assistance from others, so on..)
He has experiences like most other characters, but he went through it differently. Those were bots that had seen what Cybertron had to offer, he had to trust that under all that war was a civilisation that could be restored.
I think that a huge part of the hc though is that Bee’s behaviour did change and that was because his perspective had begun to be challenged by the Malto’s.
He started to give the Terran’s more time to have childhoods and not be so overwhelmed with training and the worry of battle after he started getting supported by Dot and Alex. Dot wouldn’t let Bee overwork her kids and Alex would dedicate time to relaxing with Bee, to build habit within the Scout which is why there was less pressure and stress to train when it came to the Terrans. Then Security protocol happened and the self worth started taking hits after losing Breakdown, which is why Bee then went on a stupid dangerous mission, where he then pushed himself to the limits because there was that part of him that had been developed since childhood to believe that he was only useful when progress was made and because the support, that reassured him he was able to take a break, was gone.
TLDR:
Uuuuuuuuhhhhh
Bee was a child soldier during the war because yes, it explains the social awkwardness, the desire to achieve progress, and shit happens because childhood habits die hard.
Did I properly explain this?
Probably not.
Is that intentional?
Nope.
Do I accept follow up questions?
Yes, please. I work best with questions more specific to certain elements. I was just trying to write down general ideas while also trying not to be vague.
Do I accept critiques?
I do, although I would much rather feedback be more about what can be developed/taking a certain point and reconstructing it to make more sense.
Do I want people to be messaging me/writing comments that are essentially expanding this hc, adding their own flair, and/or brainstorming?
FRAG YEAH! It’s how the best ideas come around!!
Final notes:
I do think Bee is an adult in the show, but more a young adult than anything. Also I have thought up how this would be addressed in a show like Earthspark if anyone’s curious about that.
Also I did some sketches
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pet-pet-peet · 11 months
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Omg!!! Your latest post!! Its so freaking cute that I HAVE to request for part 2!! You don't have to write it. After that night, the reader start to have feelings for Lilia and they don't know what those feelings are so she start to avoid him again! Lilia got tired of this and did something that made her blush soooooo red!!! I hope you know where I'm going with this fluffy cloud plot!
P. S congrats!!
Thank yoouu! Omg this sounds so cute, I can’t even haha
* This is female reader, but I generally don’t use many gendered terms in my writing..just know that I’ll opt more for feminine ones if I add any (aka, probably good for anyone, but the occasional gendered term will be female)
I am trying to go through my drafts and post the ones I had done, this will not be inspired by canon!
Previous
Tw: shy reader, but not like super stuttery just very nervous and anxious; a bit ooc- but like…my simp heart, you can't blame me; kind of cheesy-
Pairing(s) Lilia x female reader who’s too shy to ask him to take her to the sky with him
It just wasn't fair- not fair at all. You would have imagined forming a bond with someone, who used to make you so timid, would cause more comfort. In your case, however, your true feelings began to sprout instead; they intensified the nerves. Anytime you were found by the fae, anytime he called out your name or lingered close, your heart lit abuzz. You couldn't shake the heat shrouding your nerves, the warmth in your face. It's grown to ridiculous levels, in your mind- just hearing his name caused you to cease functioning. As a result, you started avoiding him again. Ever since Lilia flew with you, he started talking with you more; walking you to your classes or dorm, passing notes via bat in history. You began to bond more and more, which is what originally caused your current predicament. Anything he did was enchanting to you, from his terrible cooking to his sly attitude when challenged. It made you feel like a stupid, cliche, lovesick fool; you didn't like it. You had enough to worry about. There were so many responsibilities you had to take care of, you didn't have time to fall in love. It was just a distraction, one you needed to distance yourself from. So you did just that. And it didn't go unnoticed. Lilia would patiently listen to your stuttered excuses, your reasons to not be around him. He would watch you turn a corner and immediately retreat back when you made eye contact with him. You began ignoring his notes in class, and cleverly found ways to avoid him on your way to your dorm. He didn't like it at all, but not because he craved your attention. He didn't like that you were holding in your emotions, he wanted to help you learn to be more open to how you feel. Most of all, he wanted you to communicate that with him over you avoiding him. "Gao~!" He yelled, appearing in front of you at the end of class, just before you could leave. He laughed at your little gasp of shock. "My dear, that was quite an adorable reaction! Perhaps I shall spook you more from now on?" You cleared your throat and avoided looking into his eyes. "Um..okay. I have to go, though..so.." Lilia frowned as he watched you fidget uncomfortably. He sighed, turning upright so his feet made contact with the ground. "May I inquire about your troubles?" You became noticeably more distant, making the old fae frown deeper. "Do they involve me?" You tense a bit, fidgeting with your hands before sighing and grabbing his. He allowed you to drag him away to a place with less people, patiently watching you after you let him go and took a deep breath. "It's just..that I've caught feelings.." You managed to get out, swallowing the nerves piling in your throat. Lilia hummed, "I see. I assume you mean for me, yes?" You nod in response and he begins to chuckle. Looking back at him, he has a sweet smile scrunching his face. "I'm very happy to hear you be honest with your feelings. Thank you for communicating with me, I cherish such trust wholeheartedly," to emphasize his point, he put a hand over his heart. You become nervous at his response, feeling as though it didn't exactly give any insight into how he feels about you. "So..do you? Have feelings for me, I mean.." The anxiety you felt caused your voice to soften. There was a hum from Lilia as he put his hand on his chin and studied your reactions. Your eyes darted away from his observant ones and he chuckled once more. "My dear," He whispered, his breath suddenly close to your ear. You were certain he could hear your heartbeat quicken. "If you wish for me to help you dance among the stars, I shall. As such, if you wish for me to cradle your heart in mine, I shall do that as well." You turned your face in his direction, but he had already moved out of your view and picked you up from behind. His crimson eyes looked into yours with amusement before he kissed your cheek and slowly floated outside. "Shall we go on a quick flight then, love?"
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lunaxamans · 20 days
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{ In the Beginning... }
Summary: An early interaction between Emma and the boys. In which Marc and Steven find out that Emma comes from an abusive home like them. Pairing: Original Character { Emma Harper } x Marc Spector; bits of Emma Harper x Steven Grant  Contents: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship, twin flame relationship, OC is deeply psychic and can communicate with the boys telepathically due in part to twin flame bond  Warnings: mentions of severe mental illness { i.e. psychosis, PTSD, anxiety, panic, depression, OCD, mood disorder }, mentions of abuse, inaccurate DID { as is common with MK fic }, self-loathing, self-blame  Word Count: 1.1k
Author’s Notes:
This is written in what my writing partner and I refer to as God!Mode. Essentially it's the characters outside of all of their different Universes and them at their core selves -- which for this reason sometimes will refer to real people but very little { i.e. in this one I, myself am mentioned, but very minorly }. As if their God!Versions. This is sort of their truest of Canons.
Also I meant to write this up properly which I probably still will at some point but I wanted to get it posted for @romanarose for something I intended to help them with.
Emma Harper is the original character that will star in all of my fics with the boys. I’ve been writing them for a while now and the relationship is super established unless stated otherwise. Emma && the boys have what is known as a twin flame union – think ultimate soulmate of soulmates / two halves of the same soul; you only get one of these and they are *extremely* rare, typically reincarnate with each other over thousands of years on this planet, if not before even coming to this planet from other star systems. For this reason, the four of them are able to telepathically communicate which is also common with this kind of bond, among other things.
Emma: -coming down the hallway, grimacing as she looks back toward the stairs, calling softly, so softly in fact, that she’s barely audible- “Steven?” 
Steven: -from in the bedroom, nose buried in a book as he, too, tries to ignore what’s going on downstairs, calling gently back- “in here, love!” 
Emma: -steps into the room, rounding the corner and standing at the foot of the bed, fidgeting nervously- 
Steven: -immediately concerned, setting the book down and removing his reading glasses- “what is it? did something--” -pauses, taking in her appearance as more noise comes from downstairs, suddenly understanding- “elle’s mum again?” 
Emma: -nods quickly, not making eye contact- “she-- um--” -shifts uncomfortably, crossing her arms over her chest- “she reminds me of mine—my mom, I mean...she’s also...”
Steven: -swallows, trying to put the pieces together, not wanting to assume, speaking softly- “...difficult?” 
Emma: -cringes as if she’s taken a physical blow, correcting him quietly, her voice barely there- “abusive…" 
Steven: -his heart stops as she seems frozen in place- 
{ Marc: ‘Steven let me front...’ } 
Steven: -swallows again, giving a small nod- 
Emma: -before he can speak, she breaks the silence, tucking her hair behind her ears, keeping her gaze downcast, her voice small- “can I?”  
Steven: -realizes she wants to sit down, nodding profusely- “of course!” 
Emma: -nods with him, climbing onto the bed and scooting a little closer but keeping a fair distance, rolling her lips in, in that way that causes her dimples to prick into her cheeks, still avoiding his eyes- 
{ Marc: ‘Steven!’ } 
Steven: -clears his throat quietly- “Marc would like to speak with you, is that okay, love?” 
Emma: -nods again quickly, keeping her lips pressed together- 
Marc: -moves to the front, taking only a fraction of a second to adjust before he sits up straighter, shifting closer to her, his hands rising and moving toward Emma, who flinches at first, causing him to pause, turning his hands to show her he isn’t going to hurt her, when she nods in silent permission to continue, his fingers come to comb through her hair, coming around to cradle her face at her jaw, dipping his head to search out her eyes- 
Emma: -relaxes a little as his hands move through her hair and come around to hold her face gently, rolling her lips in further again, her eyes meeting his briefly before shying away from his again- 
Marc: -his heart squeezes in his chest, aching for her and everything he already feels for her, when he does find his voice, it comes out soft and raspy, filled with complete and utter awe- “how are you real?” 
Emma: -her eyes flicker to his, a slight furrow coming between her eyebrows, confused by the way he says it as if she were some kind of miracle- 
Marc: -holds her eyes for a moment before his gaze scales over her features, leaning in hesitantly, his lips finally capturing hers- 
{ Steven: -indignant, even if he’s ignored- ‘I coulda done that, mate...’ } 
Emma: -seems to only melt into Marc, reaching to gently grasp at his shirt as if weakly trying to hold him there- 
Marc: -when she doesn’t back away—instead leaning into him further, he uses his hold on her to pull her closer, deepening the kiss for just a moment before withdrawing, just enough to brush his nose into hers, touching his forehead to hers, frowning gently into her, his voice barely above a whisper, still sounding completely awestruck and floored at the way they seem fit together- “it feels like—you were made specifically for us—and we were just—waiting to find you...--does that sound completely crazy?” 
Emma: -her nose moves into his when it meets hers, turning her forehead into his, when he speaks again, all she can do is gently nod, likewise dumbfound and only meaning to agree with the former statement not realizing about the question-  
Marc: -chuckles softly, teasing her lightly, his thumbs brushing over her cheeks- “it does?” 
Emma: -just kinda Stuck in the moment, still not fully comprehending him- “yes--” -seems to suddenly realize- “I mean—no!” -pouting softly, giving him a Look- 
Marc: -can’t help another quiet chuckle as she struggles and the warmth fills in his chest, raising one hands to slowly comb through her hair again- 
Emma: -summons a deeper breath, releasing it in an almost silent sigh, correcting herself- “it doesn’t sound crazy...and I know crazy...” -rolls her eyes at herself- 
Marc: -immediately shakes his head as she finishes, frowning deeply, searching out her eyes again- “hey, don’t do that…" 
Emma: -looks at him in confusion, still scowling in disappointment but at herself, asking quietly- “do what?” 
Marc: “don’t talk about my girl like that—” 
{ Steven: -only to be ignored again- ‘Our girl...’ } 
Emma: -still frowning at him, acting like she didn’t just make a joke at her own expense, deep deep pout, In Baby- “like what?” 
Marc: -scowling back at her with that same profound wonder, even as hope blossoms in his chest that she didn’t deny his claim on her, releasing one hand on her only to bring it back to gently graze the back of his knuckles over her cheek, all but whispering again- “like she isn’t the most perfect girl we’ve ever known…"
Emma: -her chest tightens with the familiar ache of attachment, trying to take another deep breath through her nose and force it through her lungs, releasing it heavily even as it shakes at the ends, her voice tremoring over the single word- “o-oh…" -she fights to keep the smile down that threatens to overtake her face, her dimples betraying her secret, her eyes avoiding his shyly- 
Marc: -unsure of how this all happened, just completely winded- “god you really are-- perfect…" 
Emma: -the shy smile only grows, giving him a gentle, playful shove, but not putting anything behind it- 
Marc: -can barely bear the ache in his chest, a small smirk of his own threatening to take over- “ya know—Steven's gonna strongarm me soon if I don’t give you back...” -his eyes falling in disappointment- 
Emma: -her eyes immediately snap to his, chewing the inside of her lips and gripping his shirt tighter as if to keep him there with her- “stay…" 
Marc: -his own eyes fix themselves to hers once more, again dumbfound- “yeah?” 
{ Steven: -still seemingly being ignored- “bugger...last place it seems...” } 
Emma: -immediately nodding- “yeah…" -shy, dimply smile, pausing before poking him firmly in the chest a few times- “and tell Steven no one is last place here...” 
{ Steven: -would be blushing if he were in control of the body- ‘oh!’ } 
Marc: -scoffs quietly- “think you just told him yourself...” 
Emma: -gives one more firm shove into his chest- “goo--!” 
Marc: -catches her hands when they shove at him and pulls her abruptly to himself, his lips reclaiming hers before she can even finish the word- 
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yuesya · 2 years
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but I raise you this: shiki goes to canon-verse except in canon verse shiki died in the car accident/never woke up from her coma. so it’s even more heartbreaking and confusing for nanami when he sees this girl calling him “kento-oji”
also the way her instinct is to get mad and kill whoever’s trying to kill nanami first and ask questions later? I love platonic relationships
also it’d be super fun if clan influence + shiki’s technique means she’ll wear like kanzashi or hair pins (but also I kinda get the vibe shiki’ll get a kick out of doing what’s not traditional)
+ gojo & shiki this chapter! I think gojo’s characterisation is so interesting; like yeah, he had some interest in her eyes but not just her eyes. he legitimately cares for her, maybe bec of she was nanami’s niece but now it’s because she’s his cousin too. yes gojo get yourself a clan friend/cousin.
(also side headcanon: gojo tries to get shiki to wear glasses like his but she refuses point blank)
this fics so good, going to go reread while waiting for the next update!
Hi anon and thank you for reading! Glad you're enjoying the fic thus far. :D
Also, since I got derailed a little bit with the AU you raised:
.
“So that’s the girl, hmm?”
Nanami Kento makes a noncommittal sound of assent in his throat. Beside him, Gojo laughs, airy and cheerful. Nanami only wishes that he could have half the other sorcerer’s ease in this current situation –but it’s a futile wish. All it takes is a single look, and already he can feel something tighten uncomfortably in his throat. Not painfully, but… uncomfortable.
Gojo cranes his neck and hums interestedly. “She really exorcised one of the Special Grades on her own?”
“You’ve read the reports,” Nanami responds levelly. Hesitates, then cannot help but ask- “… Is it really her?”
Gojo lets out a small huff of amusement. 
“You should know that better than me, Nanami,” he says lightly, though not entirely without sympathy. “But if you’re asking me if she’s fully human –yes. I don’t see any signs of cursed possession on her. She’s human, and she should fully be in her right mind.”
Nanami exhales slowly. 
Kento-ojichan, the familiar stranger had called him. But that was impossible. Nanami’s young niece had died in a car accident with her parents all those years ago. Nanami was the one who had to make the funeral arrangements! It was utterly impossible, and yet… 
“She looks like my sister,” Nanami finds himself murmuring. “… Except for the hair. Her hair color completely baffled me and my sister in the beginning, until my brother-in-law told us to blame his family’s genes.”
Gojo makes an affronted sound. Nanami ignores him.
The children sitting on the grass look up, and catch sight of them behind the window. Itadori brightens, jumping to his feet and waving exuberantly upwards. Yoshino is slower to follow. Quiet personality aside, he’s still recovering from the Satozakura incident, mentally and physically alike. 
The white-haired girl beside him pauses and gives him a hand as he stumbles. Yoshino mouths something to her, probably a ‘thank you,’ and follows Itadori’s lead in looking upwards as he stands and turns.
Yoshino’s entire right arm is missing.
‘Shiki’ had been the one to cut it off. 
… And in doing so, she’d saved the boy’s life.
“C’mon,” Gojo claps him on the shoulder, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Let’s go down and get the kids! I, for one, would be very interested in meeting your not-dead niece and finding out how she’s… y’know. Not dead. Bet you’ve got a lot that you’d like to ask her too, yeah?”
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BDS Gender & Orientation HCs pt1 ADA
~if a character/commentary is not included I’m just assuming they’re cis/straight~
Atsushi:
Orientation:|Aro/Ace| (I’m claiming this one as my quota per show) Doesn’t consider romance/sex often, only ever really thinking about it when he does something that makes him go ‘oh shit that might have crossed a line that had the wrong implications or made someone uncomfortable.’
However, he wouldn't protest much if somebody (regardless of gender) wanted to having a dating relationship. It would take him a while to adjust but he’d eventually enjoy it, he just wouldn’t seek out those kinds of partnerships on his own and wouldn’t be completely shattered if they ended.
*I like to think (b/c it makes me laugh and it seems like something Dazai would do) that Atsushi’s tie clip is a bisexual flag Dazai gave him and he just wears it b/c he doesn’t know what it means. (tbh, I think Atsushi’s mostly ignorant of sexualities, not in the way of being bigoted, but in the way of never having realized that there’s different ways to categorize them. He just thought if you like somebody you asked them out, gender was never even considered.)
Dazai:
Gender: |Agender-unrealized| Goes with male but doesn’t actually strongly identify with any gender. Uses masculine pronouns but will also use neutral or impersonal pronouns when thinking (and sometimes talking) about themselves.
*in some of the aus we see she either transition or is born female, but she still feel similarly detached to gender.
Orientation: |Bi| Attracted to both binaries but compulsively gets with women more often, tending to only fantasize or on occasion entertain men flirting with him—he rarely goes past that unless it’s a power play or for a mission.
*real talk I think he probably has a fucked up relationship with sexuality, but that has less to do with who he’s attracted to and more to do with his own personal complexes surrounding sex and meaning.
Kunikida:
Gender:|Transwomen-unrealized| Identifies as male and uses masculine pronouns. BUT, when someone refers to him femininely instead of debating, he just pauses—it doesn’t feel as incorrect as it should, making his heart clench and then soften in a way that steals the words of rebuttal out of his mouth. (in another life she might realize, but in canon no such luck.)
Orientation: |Straight(?)| Interested in women, more specifically interested in finding The Perfect Woman™ according to his Ideals’, but alas. He’s fine with men flirting with him (he finds it strangely flattering, making his heart flutter with warmth) but he just politely informs them he’s straight.
However, he isn’t opposed to being an a qpr with a man—he would never seek it one out, but if he found himself in one with somebody he REALLY values it wouldn’t be much of an issue.
Ranpo:
Gender: |Transman| Uses masculine pronouns.
Orientation: |unspecified| Not super interested in relationships and has distaste or confusion over certain aspects of them (but I’m tempted to say this might be more related to his autism than his sexuality). If the transition into the relationship was natural and subtle, he'd be ok with it.
*Ranpo likes running bets with the ADA (read Yosano, Dazai and sometimes Fukazawa, the others stopped betting with Ranpo over anything a long time ago b/c they’d never win) over who’s with/going to get with who and what happens between the relationships. (sfw or otherwise)
Tanizaki:
Gender: |Transmasc, Demiboy| Uses masculine and neutral pronouns
Orientation: |Bi-curious| Finds men attractive (bi panics) but isn’t sure if it’s romantic interest.
Yosano:
Orientation: |Lesbian| Likes women and wine and having a good time.
Fukuzawa:
Orientation: |Aro| Doesn’t clock advances well (like he’s REALLY bad at it, Ranpo has to point it out for him) and when he does, he just chuckles and says he’s flattered but no, none for him thanks.
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Tsundere Teen Nanami x Chubby Reader
SFW and Smutty headcanons for a tsundere teen Nanami
A/N: heyyyyyyy these headcanons are inspired by this WONDERFUL ask! I made SFW and smutty headcanons for this and they are separated by a lil strawberry banner. I'm giving Nanami a specific age for this bc ik some ppl are uncomfortable with smut made about characters under 18, so i wanted to keep this ambiguous. If you want to headcanon him as his canon age (17), ok, but if you don't then you can headcanon him as 18/19! Yayyyy everybody wins sksksk also this isn't proof read so get ready for some mistakes sksksk
SFW section is gender neutral chubby reader, and the smutty section is fem chubby reader.
I made color coded quotes bc i'm extra so here's the key:
You, Nanami, Haibara, Gojo, Geto, Shoko
SFW Headcanons
OKAY SO
I imagine you're a jujutsu sorcerer student in the same year as Nanami
Yall obviously met during your first year and-
Holy shit did Nanami fall for you hard
Like the moment he saw you in your modest school uniform he felt his heart leap into his throat and he couldn't speak he could only grunt and nod and when he shook your hand he felt like he was dreaming bc jesus christ your hand is so fucking soft and tiny compared to his and he doesnt know wtf to do so he just gives a quick handshake and walks away
You're like ????? but whatever
He's shaking just from touching your hand and you're just confused but then you meet Haibara and hit it off :)
Nanami obvs doesn't realize he likes you so he really struggles dealing with these emotions for a while
Why do i get hot when i look at them? Why is my heart beating so fast? Why do i get so nervous around them?? Am I dying???
Just a big dumb baby who hides his fear with a cold exterior
Tbh you're his first real crush: yea, he's had some feelings for ppl here and there but with you it's more intense and he can't just shake it off like he could with others
So ya boi is strugglin quite a bit sksksk
Has no fucking clue how to approach you
Ends up being super cold and mean bc you and Haibara get along so well and are just so optimistic and happy go lucky all the time and he can't take it
Either scolds you or ignores you entirely bc being around you too long makes him queasy and he doesn't know how to deal with it
Pretty much comes off as an asshole
"We should go get boba after this."
"Yeah! We should get crepes too!"
"Stop playing around. This is a serious mission."
UGH fine whatever Nanami
You and Haibara are just two peas in a pod and Nanami feels like a third wheel when it's the three of you
He's fine with Haibara, but you?
You're just so... so...
UGH
You're so bubbly and chirpy and your chubby cheeks puff out when you get angry and plump up when you smile and when he gets close to you he can smell your sweet shampoo and sometimes when you run up to Haibara he can see your body jiggle with each step and your uniform does nothing to hide the curves and rolls of your body and he has no clue how to process any of this
Nanami is so confused and confides in Haibara with his feelings
"Oh! So you like Y/N?"
"W-What?! No I don't! That's ridiculous, why would you say that?!"
"Well whenever you look at Y/N you've got this dreamy look on your face and you seem really nervous around them and-"
"Th-That's not true! I'm not nervous around Y/N."
"Then why don't you try talking to them and-"
"UGH, nevermind, I'm going to bed."
He'll stomp off to bed all grumpy bc why the hell would his friend say that? What does he know? Haibara doesn't know how he feels so he's just making assumptions that aren't true
But then Nanami can't fall asleep and he's tossing and turning all night and he's so angry why tf can't he just fall asleep
And suddenly he's thinking about you and your sweet smile and your cute chubby cheeks and how they would probably be so soft in his hands and he can't help but wonder if your lips are just as soft-
Oh. Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit.
No, that can't be right, he can't actually have feelings for you, that would be weird
...right?
This realization is terrifying to Nanami like he has a mini panic attack when he realizes he likes you
Ends accepting his feelings but what the fuck is he supposed to do now?
He's not as cold with you after that, but he's still standoffish and doesn't speak to you unless it's necessary
But he has been sneaking glances at you more often
It starts off small, looking over at you during class, watching you lean your face into your hands as you listen to the teacher
Seeing your cute cheeks pushed up and your lips jutted out makes him all hot and he has to look away a second later bc he just can't take it
During missions, he'll watch how your hands move with your weapon, your body curving to avoid curses and suddenly he's getting hit by said curses bc he was too distracted looking at you
He's becoming a mess and he hates it, he hates it, why can't he just be calm around you like with Haibara or his senpais, this is so fucking humiliating
During this whole time, you've been kinda weirded out by Nanami's behavior
Like you catch him looking at you before he quickly looks away and he doesn't really scold you like he used to and he's distant and it's weird
The only conclusion you can come to is that he's disgusted by your body which??? if he is then fuck him bc there is nothing wrong with you and if Nanami has a problem then he can deal with it on his own
Since he and Haibara are best friends and spend most of their time together, you're kind of left out bc you refuse to be around Nanami if he's gonna act like a dick and treat you this way
So what do you do? You go hang out with your senpais!
Gojo, Geto, and Shoko accept you with open arms because??? Jesus christ you are so fucking cute and sweet, you're like their big marshmallow and they adore you
You spend more and more time with them and start drifting away from Nanami and Haibara
Obviously you're still besties with Haibara! You just don't hang out when Nanami is around which is most of the time so you're with the upperclassman like all the time
And this pisses Nanami off
He tells himself that it doesn't bother him bc whatever, you're your own person and you can make your own choices
But he can't ignore the burning in his throat when you run to welcome back Gojo and Geto, giving them hugs and smiling brightly up at the two
He starts paying closer attention, trying to figure out what's so fucking great about the upperclassmen
Seriously, what do they do that's so great? Gojo was a flirt and Geto wasn't that impressive, so why did you get so excited whenever they showed up?
And they're so handsy with you too, like they own you, and it makes Nanami so mad
Gojo won't hesitate to slip his arms around your waist and hug you from behind. Geto often lays his head on your lap and lets you play with his hair while he closes his eyes and has this calm smile on his face. Hell, even Soko can be found squishing your cheeks and cooing about how soft and plump they are
He's never felt this way about anyone before
He wants nothing more then to push his upperclassmen aside and take you in his arms and hold you the way they do
He'd do anything to have you smile at him the way that you smile at those three and Haibara
He's a mess, always fuming when Gojo pops into the common room where you are and invites you to lunch or just drags you off somewhere else
He hates Gojo the most bc he spends the most time with you
Gojo is just so casual about hugging you and holding your hand and pinching your cheeks and squishy your upper arms and it just makes Nanami so MAD
One day he overhears your conversation
"What do you mean you've never been picked up??"
"I just haven't! I'm too big."
"What? That's bullshit, c'mere."
"Sato, wait-"
And suddenly Gojo is wrapping his arms around you and hoisting you over his shoulder, twirling you around in a circle
You're squealing and laughing as he holds onto your legs, twirling round and round as Nanami slows and watches the two of you having a ball
He's so furious with Gojo, but his stomach is fluttering when he sees how excited you are and when he sees your thighs squished against Gojo's arms-
He makes eye contact with Gojo, blushes and then runs off like he wasn't just watching his senpai practically flirt with you
He sees red when Gojo blows a raspberry on your cheek one day, practically kissing you as he blew against your skin and made you giggle so sweetly that Nanami could've died and gone to heaven
He's never wanted to punch somebody more in his entire life
He becomes even angrier when Gojo confronts him about it
"Hey Nanamin! How's it going?"
He won't respond, too angry to speak
"Ahh, are you mad about somethin? Is it because Y/N won't hang out with you?"
His blush makes Gojo laugh, and Nanami just gets angrier
"I have to go-"
"Waitwaitwait, hold on, I didn't come here to piss ya off!" His arm drapes over Nanami's shoulder and he leans in close. "The year 2 students are going on a trip to the beach tomorrow, and we were gonna invite the year 1 students too!"
"I'm not interested-"
"Haibara and Y/N already said they would go," Nanami freezes, body going stiff, "and Y/N's swimsuit is pretty cute..."
There's a long pause between the two.
"...fine."
"Alright! We leave at 8am!"
The beach is beautiful and Nanami is happy to be there, but he can't enjoy himself, not when you're splashing around in the water in the most adorable bathing suit he's ever seen
But, of course, you're splashing around with Gojo and laughing and playing in the water without a care in the world and he is seething under his beach umbrella
He wishes he had the guts to go out and play around with you, but you're showing so much skin and he can barely look at you let alone get close enough to you to splash you with water
Geto sees him sulking and goes to check on him
"Something wrong, Nanami?"
Nanami shrugs, stealing a glance at you, flushing at your bright smile before burying his face into his knees
Geto is a smart boy and catches on quick
"Ah... you've got a crush on them, right?"
"No, I don't."
C'mon Nanami we know you like Y/N just admit it and ask them out
"I see..." He sits down next to Nanami. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"There's nothing to talk about."
"C'mon, Nanami. It's kinda obvious that you like them."
"Please stop talking-"
"There's nothing to be ashamed of. Y/N is a nice person. Of all the people to fall for, they're the best."
Nanami glares at Geto from the corner of his eye, and his senpai notices it and smiles.
"You can hide your true feelings behind dirty looks as long as you want, Nanami-kun, but it'll never make you happy."
Geto leaves after that, and Nanami has a lot of thinking to do
He stays under his beach umbrella all day reading a book, stealing glances of you and blushing before going back to reading
It's a v frustrating day and it doesn't get better when Gojo suggests going out for ice cream
He drags everyone along to a local ice cream shop
You get a vanilla cone and lo and behold just a few minutes later it drips down onto your chest and you wipe it off casually and lick it off your fingers and Nanami turns so red that ppl get concerned
"Nanami-kun, are you okay?"
"I-I'm fine."
"Are you sure? Did you get a sunburn?"
"N-no, it's nothing, I'm fine, just a little hot."
Gojo knows exactly whats up and decides to push Nanami's buttons more
"You're so messy, Y/N! You gotta be more careful~"
AND THEN GOJO WIPES UP A LITTLE BIT OF ICE CREAM LEFT ON YOUR CHEST AND LICKS IT OFF HIS FINGERS AND NANAMI WANTS TO FUCKING SCREAM
Nanami goes back to his room at the end of the day completely devastated, just so frustrated and upset and angry and distraught
He literally screams into his pillows and kicks at his bed like a fucking toddler
He just! Doesn't know how to handle his emotions! He's literally never felt this way before and it makes him so angry and he's so lost
What he does know is that he needs to grow some balls and tell you how he feels already because he can't stand seeing Gojo flirt with you 24/7
You're too soft and sweet for someone like Gojo, and Nanami just wants to hold you and protect you and-
Yeah, he needs to confess to you. If he doesn't, he's gonna give himself an aneurysm
Tumblr media
SMUTTY
Nanami's feels guilty admitting this, but his thoughts for you have never been completely pure
He's always found you attractive, but obviously he didn't understand these feelings at first
He thought the boiling feeling in his gut when he heard you laughing with Haibara was anger, but he later realized that it was arousal
AND THAT WAS A WHOLE NOTHER CAN O' WORMS TO DEAL WITH
He tried to ignore his sexual feelings towards you at first bc it didn't feel appropriate but let's be honest he just didn't know how to handle these feelings towards you
The night he realizes that he likes you, he's finally able to acknowledge his sexual attraction towards you, and suddenly something in him snaps
He starts thinking about your body and how your uniform squishes into you
Your breasts and belly strain against your shirt, your hips and ass pressed firmly against the top of your skirt, your legs barely contained by the black tights that you wore
His face burns when he feels his cock start to throb, growing and aching in his pajamas
He's never had a problem with being sexually aroused before--in the past, if he was ever horny, it was usually just biological and wasn't caused by anything in particular
But now there was you
You with your pretty eyes and gorgeous hair and plump lips that look so soft and delicious and he can't help but imagine grabbing you, pulling your plush body to his and kissing you hard-
Shit.
He's not going to be able to sleep until he takes care of this, so he pushes down his pants and underwear, hissing as he grabs his cock
He tries to just focus on the feeling, to ignore the reason he has a hard on in the first place, but he can't stop his thoughts from drifting off towards you
He hates himself for it, but he starts thinking about your body in detail, imagining what you would look like naked
He imagines that your breasts have stretch marks littered all over them, spreading over your tummy and thighs
He wishes he could trace them, count how many there are, maybe he lick over them as he stares up at your pretty face
God, your face
You really were the prettiest person he had ever seen, and he wanted nothing more than for you to smile in his direction, your eyes sparkling as you skipped towards him for a hug when he gets back from a mission
He groans, moving his hand faster as he thinks about you undressing in front of him, shimmying out of your uniform and letting him see you clearly
He thinks about squeezing the pudgy bits of your body, kissing and biting them as he brings you closer to him
He's sure that you're a virgin, you're too pure not to be, and the thought of being the first to touch you makes him shudder
I imagine he's still a virgin at this point: he's just never gotten around to having sex because he's too busy
But he's suddenly grateful that he is a virgin because then he can imagine the two of you sharing your first time together, fumbling in the dark under your covers
He turns over in bed, moving onto his stomach so he can grind his cock into his bed, groaning into his pillow
It isn't enough, so Nanami pushes his pillow down to his hips and starts thrusting into it, eyes squeezing shut as he imagines that it's you under him instead, your body warm and soft beneath him
He's moaning softly and grunting as he pushes his head into the bed, wishing that he could be in your cunt instead, hearing you whimper and moan for him
The thought of your fucked out face--hooded eyes crossed slightly and filled with tears, mouth open wide as you cried out for him, his name spilling from your perfect lips--pushes him over the edge, cum spurting out over his sheets
He keeps grinding his hips into the pillow, whining softly as he mutters your name over and over, eventually falling to the bed and panting
He catches his breath and comes down from his high, groaning and immediately regretting getting off like that
His pillowcase, sheets, and pajamas are covered in cum and he's so aggravated and annoyed with himself
He takes everything off and goes back to bed, slightly uncomfortable with his different sleeping situation
He's even more nervous around you after that
He knows it's not possible, but he's sure that you know he jerked off to the thought of you and he is drowning in shame
Does he stop jerking off and thinking about you the entire time?
No, but he doesn't feel good about it sksksk
He starts masturbating more consistently, at least a couple times a week
He doesn't really want to, but every time he sees you he gets flushed and starts thinking dirty thoughts and he ultimately has to take care of his frustrations late at night
He'll either lie on his back and fuck up into his fist, imagining your pretty body bouncing on his cock, or he'll rut into a spare pillow he found, thinking about thrusting into your sweet cunt over and over as you cry beneath him
Seeing Gojo flirt with you just pisses him off and makes him more aggressive when he masturbates
He imagines fucking you harder, biting and sucking marks onto your skin so that Gojo would realize that you're taken and he had no right to touch you
He knows that you don't belong to him, but he can't help but feel possessive when he sees the upperclassmen touch you so casually
He hates when Gojo invites you all to the beach bc he knows that Gojo has something planned bc he always does
So when he sees you in that revealing two piece suit, splashing around in the water, your body bouncing every time the waves his you, he feels like he's been blessed
Part of the reason why he stayed seated the whole day was because he had a raging hard on for most of the time
The last thing he wanted was for you to see him like that and think he was a pervert
And then when you went for ice cream and some of it spilled onto your breasts?
He was sure he would cum just from the sight
His arousal faded when Gojo scooped up the last of the ice cream from your chest and licked it off his fingers
He was enraged, his instincts screaming at him to beat the shit out of his upperclassman for putting his hands on you like that
Nanami was glad that you thought it was an innocent action, but he knew what Gojo was doing and it pissed him off
He was pouty the whole way home, going to his room immediately while the others went to the common room
He slammed the door behind him, kicking the foot of his bed before flopping down onto it, groaning angrily into his pillow
His anger soon turned into arousal once he thought back on you in your skimpy bathing suit and the white cream that had fallen on your chest
Damn it
He's hard and so of course he starts jerking off to relieve some stress
He imagines you in front of him, on your knees, adorable doe eyes looking up at him innocently
He'd cup your soft cheeks, guiding you towards his cock
You may be innocent and naive, but you would understand what he wanted, parting your pretty plump lips and wrapping them around the head of his cock
He was groaning a bit louder, knowing that the rest of the students were hanging out in the common rooms. No one would be back here for hours, so he could relax a bit
Your mouth would be so hot around him, drool spilling past your lips as you bobbed your head up and down on his cock
You'd be so good for him, so sweet, so perfect, so wonderful-
The thought of cumming on your breasts sends him over the edge, your name spilling from his lips a bit louder than he intended
He'd slump to his bed, beyond frustrated that he couldn't just confess to you already, hating that he was such a wimp and couldn't-
A soft knock at his door made him jolt, sitting upright in bed
"Wh-Who is it?"
"Uh... it's me, Y/N..."
Nanami would freeze, unsure of what to do
He'd get up a moment later, cautiously walking to his door and opening it
Shit, you were still in your swimsuit, a see through shawl wrapped around you
"What is it?"
"Um, Sato said that you needed to see me... so i came by to see what you wanted."
God damn you, Gojo
"I don't need anything. He was mistaken."
You nodded slightly, fiddling with your fingers as you looked around.
"I... um, I-I heard you say my name..."
Shit
"I-I didn't-"
"Were you thinking about me while you jerked off?"
Nanami flushed, gripping the door handle tightly
"How did..."
"You've got cum on your chest."
He looks down at his chest, blushing when he sees that yes, there was a bit of cum that was strewn across his abdomen
"I-I'm sorry, I-"
"I didn't think you liked me..."
Nanami's eyes flick towards you and his cock comes to life again
Your arms are squished together, making your breasts press against each other, and you thighs are rubbing up on one another
He isn't sure if he'll ever get another opportunity like this again
"Can... can I show you how much I like you?"
He swallows hard when you bite your lip, looking up at him
"...Sure."
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Note
Hey! Can I request a Bucky x Reader where Bucky gets hurt during a mission and the reader is there to take care of him? Maybe he’s caught of guard by this because he hasn’t had someone take care of him in a long time? Feel free to do whatever you want with this!! Thank you so much and I can’t wait to read it 💕
Bucky Barnes x Reader
A/N Thanks so much for the request @thighs-of-betrayal-blog this was so fun to write! Sorry it took so long! I swear every time I get the motivation to write my life gets crazy. But here it is, hopefully it’s a little bit what you hoped for and if it isn’t I hope you enjoy it anyways haha 💜
Warnings: FLUFFY FLUFF; angst if you squint; very very brief canon level violence; a minute of mutually pining idiots
Word count: approx 2.3k
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (he uses the endearment “doll” but other than that reader is gender neutral)
Why Do You Care?
“Bucky stop being so stubborn and let me see!”
You were standing in the living room of the safe house Bucky had dragged you into, hands on your hips glaring down at the super soldier on the couch. He was avoiding your gaze, staring a hole in the wall to your left, and had his arms folded across his chest. He looked to you more like a pouting child than a 100+ year old ex-assassin/current Avenger and if you weren’t so frustrated with him you’d probably giggle at the sight.
The mission had been a success. Sort of. You and Bucky had been sent in to steal sensitive files from an abandoned Hydra base. Which you managed to do. But it ended up being less than abandoned and without any backup the fight out was a rough one. Just as the two of you were finally getting out, covered in blood and bruises, Bucky had grabbed your arm and shoved you into a crouch, bending himself over you protectively as a shot rang out. He grunted out in pain and you leaned around his frame to send a bullet straight into the skull of the Hydra agent who’d been stupid enough not to stay down. You’d tried, then, to make sure Bucky was okay but he wasted no time in hauling you back up and out into the night. His hand slipped down your arm to clasp yours and he didn’t let go until you were safely within the walls of the safe house. The more the two of you had run the more obvious it became that he was hurt but he ignored you asking about it.
Now that he’d made sure the safe house was secure and reported back to Steve what had happened and where you were, he couldn’t avoid you anymore. But he could ignore you and he was trying his damnedest to do so.
“M’fine.” He grumbled at you for probably the third time in as many minutes, shifting to turn his injured side away from you as if that would make you go away.
“Bucky I know you’re not fine so why won’t you just let me see so I can help?” The cuteness of his pout was wearing off as your patience was wearing thin. “Do you not trust me or something??”
Bucky’s eyes snapped up to yours then, his heart rate rising as he saw the concern there. He did trust you. More than he trusted himself most days. Hell he was in love with you. But you were way too good for him, too full of light, and you’d never be interested in someone like him. He’d only ruin you anyways. But when he looked into your eyes he couldn’t stand the flash of hurt he saw when you asked that question.
“Course I do doll...I trust ya...” his voice was hoarse and he tried taking a deep breath to clear his throat but it sent pain shooting through him and he groaned, pressing his hand to the still bleeding wound in his side.
“Buck....” your tone was softer now as you took a step closer. You thought for a second that he was going to let you check on his injury but the moment your hands reached for him he shot up, ignoring the pain, and pushed past you into the bathroom while mumbling about not needing help.
You roll your eyes and sigh as the bathroom door slams shut behind him. Ever since you’d met the quiet soldier when he joined the Avengers he’d swung back and forth between pushing you away and pulling you in closer. He always volunteered to be partnered with you and you worked well together but he’d refuse to spar with you. He liked helping you cook for team dinners but always declined your invitations to go out for lunch. During movie nights he only ever sat beside you or, if someone beat him there, he’d sit on the floor and lean against your legs even if there was an empty seat by someone else, but he wouldn’t join you when you were binge watching your favourite show alone. You couldn’t figure him out but the more you tried to the more you fell for him. It had been agony for you to want him knowing he could never see you as more than a teammate and friend. Regardless of how many times his behaviour had made it clear he wasn’t interested in you that way, you couldn’t help it. You loved him. And if that remained unrequited the rest of your life then so be it, you were that gone for him.
And so, despite his insistence that he didn’t need your help, you found yourself trailing after him towards the bathroom. You pressed your ear to the door and could hear him shuffling around, pulling out a first aid kit, and then gasping in obvious pain.
“Bucky? Open the door and let me in? Please? I want to help...I want to take care of you, you just have to let me....” you pause, waiting for a response, and notice that all the sounds on the other side of the door have ceased.
“Buck? Please, I care about you...let me...” your voice is lower, almost a whisper now, and you wait another few painfully silent seconds before hearing a long sigh from the other side of the door. When it cracks open, your eyes meet his piercingly blue ones and you nearly crumble at the uncertainty you see there.
“Can I come in, Buck?” You ask gently and he hesitates for only a second before nodding and opening the door wider. You step inside and motion for him to sit on the edge of the counter for you and he quickly obeys.
“You’re gonna have to take your shirt off for me to see, Buck.” You say gently, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He grunts in acknowledgement and begins pulling his black tee up, hissing as he raises his arms causing a tug to his injury. Without a second thought, you reach forward and help maneuver his shirt the rest of the way off, dropping it to the side as he brings his arms back down. As other times in the past when you’ve seen him shirtless, you can’t help but let your eyes travel across his firm chest and toned abdomen, drinking him in until you raise your eyes to his and realize he’s watching you. You quickly avert your gaze, your ears burning at having been caught ogling him, so you miss the way his lips curl into a smirk. Focusing your attention onto his side you gasp at the large gash there still slowly leaking blood.
“Not that bad, doll.”
“James Buchanan Barnes! Just because its not life-threatening does not mean that it’s ‘not that bad’. Dammit Buck why wouldn’t you let me help you take care of this as soon as we got here?!” You huff as you grab some antibacterial cloths and begin cleaning the wound, ignoring his hiss as you do so.
“M’sorry, doll...it’s just...haven’t really had anyone take care of me in...well since before the war to be honest. Got used to taking care of myself...used to not having anyone care.” Bucky’s voice is barely a whisper and you have to strain to listen to him. He’s never been so vulnerable with you and you want to make the most of however long he’s going to let this moment last. When its clear he’s waiting for you to say something you reach one hand up to softly cup his cheek and turn him to face you.
“I care. I care so much, Buck. You just have to let me.” You try to put all your emotions into your gaze, desperate for him to see that he doesn’t have to be alone and that he is loved and cared about. He sighs and leans into your hand more, raising his own to rest on your hip.
“Why?”
He spoke so quietly you’re not sure you heard him and raise an eyebrow to ask him to repeat himself, too afraid of breaking the spell that seems to have fallen over the two of you to speak.
“Why do you care so much, doll? Why me? I’m not...I’m not worth it.”
This is it. The chance to tell him how you feel. If he rejects you that’s fine, you decide. Even if he doesn’t return your feelings at least he will know that he is loved and that’s enough for you right now. Your heart feels like it may burst as you weigh your response carefully.
“You, Bucky, are so worthy of all the care in the world. You went through hell and back a million times over and came out the other side a kind, thoughtful, sweet, considerate, gentle, loving man. The world tried to break all of that out of you but you are too strong and too GOOD. The world owes you and if I could wrap up all the love that exists in it and give it to you I would. But I’ve only got mine so that’s what I’ll give you.”
Dropping your hand from his face to his shoulder, you hold your breath as Bucky’s eyes stare into yours as though searching for something. He tightens his grip on your waist, before finally breaking the heavy silence, his voice at least an octave lower.
“You’ll....give me...your love...?” Bucky is the strongest man you know and yet you have never heard him sound so timid and unsure in all the time you’ve known him. He looks so hopeful and scared and you can’t help the confession bursting from your lips.
“Yes Bucky! I will. I already have. It’s yours. I-I love you.” You take a deep breath before continuing, rambling now. “And I don’t expect to you to return my feelings and I hope I haven’t ruined our friendship because that would just kill me nothing has to change between us I just needed you to know that—mmph—“
You’re cut off by Bucky’s lips connecting with yours, his hands cupping your face, thumbs rubbing gently across your cheekbones. The kiss is gentle, careful, almost tentative at first. But then your arms snake around his neck and one of his hands makes its way into your hair and it becomes passionate and desperate. Bucky pulls you between his thighs so you are flush against him and the feeling of his taut muscles against you makes you moan. Your hands lift to tangle in his hair and tug gently as he runs his tongue along your bottom lip, practically begging for entrance which you immediately grant. He growls into the kiss as he explores every inch of your mouth with his tongue, his hands roaming all across your body, pulling you impossibly closer as you arch into him needing to feel him. He stands suddenly, pushing you back a couple of steps until you are pinned between his body and the wall. You gasp for air and he moves his lips along your jaw, down your neck, and then back up to press another searing kiss against your lips before resting his forehead against yours as he tries to catch his own breath. Your chests rise and fall together and he rubs his nose against yours before placing another tender, gentle kiss on the corner of your mouth.
“Sorry....couldn’t help myself...” Bucky manages to tell you between gasps for air.
“Never apologize for THAT...” you giggle and the vibrations of his chuckle against your chest make you feel lightheaded as he leans back to look you in the eye, cupping your cheek tenderly.
“I love you.” He sounds sure. Confident. Like nothing in the world could be more true than that statement. You can’t help the ridiculously giddy grin that splits your face as you tug his face back to yours for another kiss, which he smiles into.
Once you come down from your highs a little bit you manage to coax him back to his spot on the counter and you continue cleaning his injury and stitching him up though it takes much longer now as Bucky keeps distracting you. He plants kisses to your nose, your shoulder, your neck, your cheek, your forearm, basically any part of you that comes close enough to his lips. When you finally finish, you let your hands run along his muscles as you rub your nose against his and kiss him deeply, gently biting his bottom lip eliciting a sound from him that turns your insides completely upside down.
Before you can say or do anything else, the front door opens with a crash and Bucky grabs you and shoves you behind him protectively as he peeks out into the front room to assess the threat.
“Dammit punk! What’re you breaking down the door for?! I thought you were a hostile! Why didn’t you just call and say you were here??!” You sigh in relief at Bucky’s nickname for Steve and move to peer over his shoulder at the Captain as the two super soldiers glare at each other.
“I’ve been calling for several minutes! You didn’t answer! I thought you were in danger, jerk!”
“Sorry, Steve! We were...distracted. Bucky needed stitches.” You quickly apologize and give an excuse in case Bucky isn’t comfortable saying anything yet since you hadn’t exactly taken the time to talk yet. But he just turns to face you and smirks as he tugs you to him for one more kiss before reaching around you to grab his shirt and pull it on.
“Ya. We were pretty damn distracted. Didn’t really appreciate the interruption, punk!” Bucky chuckles and can’t help the grin that has been plastered on his face since you told him you love him. Your cheeks flush as he puts an arm around your shoulder, guiding you to Steve who is looking between you and Bucky with a happy, almost proud, look on his face.
“It’s about damn time, you two! Now, who made the first move? I need to know if I owe Sam $50 or not.”
529 notes · View notes
makeste · 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 303: And What, Pray Tell, Is a “One For All”
Previously on BnHA: The Todorokis (really just Enji) looked at their children and went “how can we screw up all four of them in uniquely different ways” and proceeded to do just that. Touya was all “just because practicing how to set myself on fire better hasn’t worked to win my dad’s affections YET doesn’t mean it will NEVER work”, because child logic. Turns out setting oneself on fire real hard isn’t so effective at winning affections, but is actually incredibly effective when it comes to burning oneself to death, so there’s that. Back in the present day, the Todorokis basked in their various misplaced (again, except for Enji) feelings of guilt, and were all “anyway but get over yourself already Enji, you still have to do something to stop this kid”, and Shouto was all “I’ll help too”, and Enji was all “(╥_╥)”, and Hawks and Jeanist were all “[surreptitiously listening in from outside the door]”, and that’s basically where we left off.
Today on BnHA: Hawks and Jeanist are all “mind if we join you on this family journey?” and proceed to stroll in uninvited with their puns and their perceptive insights. Hawks is all “so to sum everything up, we’re fucked, but at least you have us here to help you out! by the way, no clue why I’m the first person to ask this in three hundred chapters, but wtf is One For All.” We then cut to Deku, who’s still all “[(--)]z”, and All Might, who is all “I’m just going to ignore the extremely loud racket going on right outside this room.” Which, btw, is happening on account of Bakugou, who is all “(╬◣Д◢)” as Satou, Tsuyu, and Mineta cart him away. Anyway so that’s a lot of antics, and also it looks like Hawks has gotten tired of the Todorokis refusing to put the pieces together on their own about OFA and so he is fast-tracking that shit. And meanwhile Deku is chatting it up with the Vestiges exactly like we all thought. And now we have to wait another whole week for updates on all of this. This really is not fair.
omfg lol
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“our bad, we were kind of accidentally listening in on purpose.” like I said last week guys, no fuss. it’s a tradition
OMG
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I am absolutely fucking floored. Hawks literally said that so casually that it’s impossible for me to rewrite it so as to be even more casual. that’s literally what I would write in the “today on bnha” section. in fact I probably will write that
(ETA: just for laughs I tried it and it really worked.)
a couple more things to point out about this panel: 
“TOP 3” omg yes. more like “top only” at this point, honestly. interested to see how that goes
Hawks’s phone is freaking the fuck out about something, calm down there
I know this is a standard Jeanist hair-fixing gesture that he does all the time, but I can’t help but form hypotheses about this being a stress reaction because Hawks’s hair is making him internally freak out. Hawks, if this man tries to get you alone with him and some hairspray and a comb, please for the love of god do not listen to him. get out of there and call the authorities
omg Shouto’s face
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okay confession, I wasn’t really sold on the whole “Shouto has a schoolboy crush on Hawks” thing until exactly now, when I became 100% sold on it. that is adorable
and heck with it, gotta show Enji and Rei’s reactions here as well because lol
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“omg my son who’s not my son, and he just overheard everything about me being a terrible shitty father and person overall, oh and plus my actual-son set him on fire and called him out on a national broadcast. I’m just gonna stare at him baffledly.” versus Rei, who is all “hmm, who are these people”
so Hawks is all “I got released from the hospital after one day for some reason so I made Jeanist drive me around places while we talked about life” but uh, heyyyyy, what’s Rei doing
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okay, uh
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SO FUCKING FORMAL OMFG. “SORRY MY KID TRIED TO BURN YOU TO DEATH, APPARENTLY HE DOES THAT” REI NO IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT
HAWKS IS ALL “I’M JUST GONNA LAUGH SINCE THAT’S MY DEFAULT RESPONSE TO BEING PROFOUNDLY UNCOMFORTABLE”
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let me tell you a secret Hawks, it’s my default response too. ahahahahahahaha oh thank god Jeanist is helping her up -- AND MAKING A JEANS PUN, OF COURSE. IT’S BEEN ALMOST THIRTY SECONDS. MY MAN WAS DYING
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“WTF IS ILLEGAL DENIM” he’s talking ‘bout them counterfeit jeans, Rei. Antoine Bugleboy knows
THANK YOU JEANIST!! OUT HERE ASKING THE RELEVANT QUESTIONS
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damn straight. we’re not gonna sit around waiting another 300 chapters for this information on this man’s watch
now Hawks is telling Endeavor he used to watch videos of him all the time, and calling him his “childhood obsession” I can’t
OH MY SWEET STARS AND MOONS
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1000% CANON. “SO CLOSE...” ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU REALLY PUT THAT THOUGHT BUBBLE THERE AND EVERYTHING. “GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, SO JUST IN CASE YOU WEREN’T ALREADY AWARE, TODOROKI SHOUTO IS NOT ACTUALLY STRAIGHT.” HORIKOSHI KOUHEI I AM LITERALLY DUMBFOUNDED. THIS IS AMAZING
and meanwhile that look on Hawks’s face while he casually-but-not-really-casually-at-all asks this question. that phone app better be using his actual voice. I’m not sure I could take this scene in the anime at this point if it was like Alexa talking or something
that look in his eyes is basically saying that so far, based on the information he has absorbed up until this point, Hawks is prepared to view his former childhood obsession as a flawed but changed man. however I get the distinct feeling that depending on Endeavor’s answer now, he would be willing to drastically shift some of his opinions on him
(ETA: this is maybe my favorite panel in the entire chapter. the fact that his question isn’t addressed to anyone in particular, but his eyes are zeroing on on Endeavor. and the way his leaning-on-Shouto pose manages to be simultaneously nonchalant and yet ever-so-slightly protective. there’s so much going on in this one question and gesture and I’m mildly obsessed with it.)
however, Rei is all “that was me” and ONCE AGAIN WITH THE FACES IN THIS CHAPTER holy shit
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Hawks definitely did not see that one coming sob. it’s so fun watching him frantically recalculate his ideas about this family every two seconds
DAMN IT HORIKOSHI I UNDERSTOOD THE PARALLELS ALREADY, YOU REALLY DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THIS
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yes, Hawks, you get it. it’s not exactly the same, but it’s close enough. though unlike your shitty parents, Rei and Enji are at least trying
OKAY I SERIOUSLY CANNOT WITH ALL OF THIS
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fljkdlaskfjlwkjl okay we’re doing the bullet-points breakdown here
first of all, the fact that poor little Shouto’s heart is still thumping away at this proximity and all he can think is “CLOSE” all intelligently as he stares at him with that face omg
and meanwhile Horikoshi has these STRATEGIC BANDAGES WRAPPED AROUND HIS CHEEKS TO HIDE ALL OF HIS SHOUJO BLUSHING omfg. SENPAI NOTICED YOU SWEETIE!!!
HAWKS YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO OBLIGATION TO WASTE ANOTHER SECOND OF YOUR LIFE WORRYING ABOUT THESE TWO ASSHOLES WHO NEVER SPARED YOU THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF REGARD OR CONCERN IN THEIR ENTIRE LIVES. THE NICEST THING YOUR MOM EVER DID FOR YOU WAS BUY YOU A $2 ENDEAVOR PLUSH FROM THE DISCOUNT BIN TO KEEP YOU QUIET, AND YOU WERE SO AWED BY THAT ONE ACT OF SORTA KINDA APPROXIMATE KINDNESS THAT YOU SHAPED YOUR ENTIRE WORLDVIEW AROUND IT. PLEASE LET ME PICK YOU UP IN A BIG HUG FOR JUST A SEC, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND YOU WERE ONE THOUSAND PERCENT JUSTIFIED IN LEAVING THEM IN THE DUST THE SECOND THAT YOU COULD
but all that said, he immediately recognizes that Shouto would also have had cause to do the same in his situation, and yet hasn’t. and so he has that much more admiration for him all of a sudden, which is just super sweet, and fully appropriate. Shouto does deserve props. I’m choosing to take this as an “it takes a lot of strength to be able to forgive, and people who choose to do that even though they’re not obligated to are really amazing" type of thing, as opposed to “people who don’t forgive other people who severely wronged them are bad.” and if I’m wrong and Hawks’s line here is meant to be seen as actual failing on his part, well then fuck that, but we’ll move on
SO NOW, DOWN TO BUSINESS!
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I am so, so curious as to what kind of strategy Hawks has for this (if he even has any), so I’ll just be quiet now and read
so Hawks is summing up basically what we already knew -- that Tomura and his inner circle (curious that there’s no mention of AFO, because if Hawks doesn’t know about him, that implies almost no one does) are still on the lam with a few PLF stragglers and some High Ends; that a bunch of prisons have been “liberated” (I assume this means all of the inmates escaped, so if that’s the case then where’s Kurogiri??); that the HPSC is fucked; and that heroes are resigning all over the place, and so civilians are taking matters into their own hands
OH DAMN!?
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does this mean we’ll actually see some international heroes?? I will LOSE MY DAMN SHIT omg
(ETA: apparently people who paid more attention to the first BnHA movie than I did recognized the silhouettes as belonging to some background characters from Two Heroes. so maybe they were just cameos and they’re not actually new characters who are soon to join us lol. oh well.)
anyway so Hawks agrees with the other Todorokis that Endeavor has no choice but to fight
awww
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DON’T WORRY ENJI THEY’VE GOT YOUR BACK. WITH YOUR FLAMES, AND JEANIST’S PUNS, AND HAWKS’S BOYISHLY GOOD LOOKS, THE THREE OF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MINDS TO
so Enji is very pertinently asking why they’re standing by him in spite of the... [gestures vaguely to everything]
oh my lordy lord
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Shouto you had better do something to combat this soon, or this man will sneak past you on my favorite character ranking after all. his face. his cheeky lil finger gun. the fact that he sums it up so fucking simply. “if someone is trying to do the right thing, I want to support them.” exactly. exactly
(ETA: and one last thing I love but forgot to mention, which is the fact that Hawks calls it a team-up despite the fact that he is clearly in charge.)
meanwhile Jeanist is all “as for me, at this point I just straight up don’t give a fuck”
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I can’t handle how fucking cool this chapter is you guys
so Hawks is all “you good?” at Enji. and Enji...
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if anyone needs me, I will be building myself a discourse-proof fort made entirely out of problematic characters. I don’t even care. I will go on living my life very happily in here
lol at Natsu being all “BUT DON’T THINK THIS MAKES US FRIENDS”
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I’m living for this weird and no-doubt entirely unintended implication that Natsu and them all are gonna join in the fight with the rest of them. I mean, they do presumably all have very powerful ice quirks. and Natsu has medical training on top of that, and Fuyu is skilled at getting eight-year-olds to behave which could be a useful talent for dealing with Tomura hahaha I kid, but I’M JUST SAYING. who needs hero licenses anyway
OH SHIT FINALLY SOME DISCUSSION OF AN ACTUAL STRATEGY. even if it’s just a PR strategy
WHAKLHL
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and now for some reason we’re flashing back to Natsu and Fuyu’s attempts to navigate through the media crowd outside the hospital
well I guess this is why I’m not the mangaka. if I were writing this I would have done something trite and predictable like using that “One for All” line as an excuse to cut to Deku!! as opposed to this entirely unrelated scene!!
seriously though why do we need to see this lol
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no one in this crowd has ever heard of Alexander Dumas huh. or even the popular 2007 Disney Channel original movie, High School Musical 2
so now there’s an entire page of Hawks saying they need to know what One for All is, and Endeavor having one of those patented Todoroki WHOOSH realizations lmao look at this
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just wait until this man figures out that one of the scrappy new interns he took on three months ago was actually the main character all along
SKDFIOHWIERLKSJGLWLK!!
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NOW IS PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO ASK MYSELF WHY I CHOSE THIS CHARACTER WHO KEEPS DISAPPEARING FOR SIX OR TWELVE OR FORTY CHAPTERS AT A TIME TO BE MY FUCKING FAVORITE. WELCOME BACK SON PLEASE DON’T SCREAM YOURSELF TO DEATH YOU STILL HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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(ETA: can we just take a moment to appreciate how Bakugou even got so close to Deku’s room in the first place though. in this giant hospital with no idea of where to even go. does he have Deku Radar or something.)
YOU SIX ARE OFFICIALLY ON MY HIT LIST!! SPARE ME YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS!! MY BAKUDEKU REUNION KEEPS GETTING POSTPONED WEEK AFTER WEEK!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HEROES WHERE IS YOUR CONCEPT OF MERCY
(ETA: btw just to be clear, I’m not actually angry lol; it makes total sense that they don’t want this rampaging feral toddler who was still in his own coma all of fifteen minutes ago to come and start screaming at the other coma child until he tears all his stitches out. if there’s anything we Bakugou fans should be familiar with by now, it’s being patient.)
also, Tsuyu wrapping her tongue around Bakugou’s still-healing torso wound absolutely can’t be hygienic at all. also wait is that Inko??
(ETA: pretty sure it is her. she got all of one line smdh.)
Iida is all “thank god Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight pulled through, I thought for sure he was a goner back there”
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for the record this is actually really sweet to see how relieved he is. he’s one of the few people who saw the original injury close up, back when he was still at the battlefield and unconscious, so I imagine it really did freak him out quite a bit
JIROUUUUUU
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“sometimes I just like to stand here and tug on my imaginary suspenders, what of it”
how come you guys get to loiter around Deku’s room but Kacchan doesn’t. god fucking dammit. AND WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN
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I BET KACCHAN COULD WAKE HIM UP FROM HIS COMA WITH THE POWER OF RIVAL INTENSITY!! BUT NOOOOOOOO, [is dragged away back to my fort]
OH MY GOD!?!
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"this seems to be an entirely normal and above-board situation that we have just stumbled onto”
I see Jeanist comes from the Iida Tenya school of respectfully using people’s full names
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Jeanist becoming one of the main characters is the best thing to ever happen to this series
EXCUSE YOU, IIDA
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BUT I’M SURE HE’D MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR KACCHAN THOUGH!! [elbowing my way back out of the fort] HAWKS, PLEASE --
DON’T GO ALL OMINIOUSLY PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER ALL ON YOUR OWN GODDAMMIT
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“there’s absolutely no way this angry wriggling shoulder burrito kid here could answer literally all of my questions, so I’ll just ignore him”
OH MY GOD WE’RE FINALLY CUTTING BACK TO HIM BUT THE CHAPTER IS ENDING
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[jumps up, throws a folding chair at Iida and the rest of the gang, and then runs]
oh my god. actually this chapter was awesome. but I’m so fucking mad at this cliffhanger though lol
at least we got a couple of answers! and some hints and teases! poor Deku looks so worn out even though he’s asleep dlwkjl my little green baby. and is it just me or is his quirk activated?? All Might’s all “I can feel it” as if it isn’t obvious just looking at him, why are you trying to be all mysterious dude
anyway! so at least we finally have confirmation and a date for those vestige antics at long last. looking forward to meeting Mister The Fourth next week so we can finally ask him “hey dude, what the fuck”
281 notes · View notes
deadmandairyland · 3 years
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Hi! I’m here to bring you yet another Danganronpa tier list: the sexuality tier list, which you can find here.
Now I’m going to be honest here: I don’t really have any LGBT headcanons. It’s just not really something I focus on much when it comes to fandoms. Instead I usually just focus on ships, and as a result from that I tend to present a lot of characters as LGBT in fanfictions and posts I’ve made or reblogged. In other words, a massive chunk of my “headcanons” here are a direct result of shipping (as well as information I’ve picked up from the games themselves). That being said, it was interesting to actually think about this for once, so I’m kinda glad I did the tier list. And it gave me an excuse to bring back the rainbow color scheme I usually put in my tier lists for aesthetic reasons.
The original tier list had Straight at the top, but I moved it to the bottom for two reasons. One, this is Tumblr and that’s not what you’re here for. Two, I gave it a neutral color, and having a gray section next to a white section (i.e. the title of the list) like that looked bad to me. I definitely prefer this setup just on aesthetic alone.
Because this is largely based on ships, I feel it needs to be said that representation does not factor into this chart in any way. I know it probably looks bad that the only character in the Lesbian category is one of my least favorite (though NOT hated or even disliked, I should point out) characters in the main series. That has nothing to do with the fact that she’s a lesbian. She’s just a jerk, and usually not in a way that’s at least entertaining enough for me to like her.
Also keep in mind that this is just the main cast of the main series games. If you were to include characters from the DR3 anime, UDG, or the spin-offs, the Gay, Lesbian, and Ace categories would get more rep, certainly. Think Juzo, Yui, Takemichi, that gay guy with the trumpet, etc.
With that said, let’s go through the list:
Gay
Not gonna lie, one of the reasons why Rantaro is here (and not in Ace) is because of ships. Though I do sometimes ship him with girls, canon suggests he’s not interested in dating girls, and most fans seem to headcanon him as either gay or ace because of this, so I respected that. That being said, I also acknowledge he’s a very popular character in mlm ships, and at the time I was putting this together I hadn’t gotten to Taka yet so the Gay tier was still empty, and Byakuya was already sitting in Ace, so all of that swayed me to putting Rantaro here instead of Ace.
Taka was much easier to place here. He strikes me as a closeted gay man who probably doesn’t even realize he is gay. “Hey, let’s all hang out in the bath, guys! Getting naked is essential to form bonds with your fellow man! No need to be ashamed, it’s tradition!"
Lesbian
Again, ships. I only ship Hiyoko with one other character, and as soon as I say that you already know who she is.
Bisexual (Male Preference)
Akane is mostly here to account for any wlw ships I may have of her (e.g. Hina, Sonia maybe). Obviously she has a thing with Nekomaru, so Male Preference.
Chiaki is here for the same reason as Akane. I’ve shipped her with characters like Sonia and Ibuki before, but she really digs Hajime.
Chihiro honestly could have been anywhere in the Bi and Pan sections, but I ultimately went with Male Preference because of ships, specifically the fact that outside of the more... R18 circles of the Interwebs Chihiro tends to be shipped with guys more often than girls. Also doesn’t hurt that my OTP is Naehiro. I mean, have you seen how often Chihiro blushes around Makoto? (There’s more to it than that, as I’ve covered in the past. I’m just trying to add more fuel to the fire.)
Himiko is probably one of the few characters that isn’t here mainly because of ships. I do think she has some attachment towards Tenko, but I also get “I’m uncomfortable around her” vibes from her, and there are moments where she seems to crush on Kokichi (of all people) so that’s why she’s here. Still very much bi, though.
Hina has a crush on Makoto and has a complex around wishing she was more feminine so she can attract boys. So why isn’t she in the Straight section? ...Because Sakura, duh. And Kyoko too. And any other wlw ship you can think of that might work with Hina.
Honestly if it wasn’t for Miu I probably would have considered putting Kokichi in Gay. Again, while shipping plays a big part of my choices here, much like with Rantaro I have no qualms with putting a character in a tier that contradicts any ships I might have with that character, if those ships aren’t something I’m super invested in. This is a very important distinction, because it’s why I let ships sway my hand for so many of these even if I am also okay with going “Just because I ship this doesn’t mean I headcanon it” as I did with Rantaro. And honestly Kokichi’s ship teasing with Himiko does come off as more trollish than a sign that he’s into her, but he really gets into his back-and-forth with Miu, in my personal opinion, and he gets into it far more often with her for that matter. It’s why it’s one of my favorite ships for both of them tbh, and it’s because I like the ship so much that I just can’t ignore it for this sexuality headcanon tier list.
Maki... is here because of ships (e.g. Kaede).
Sakura... is here because of ships (e.g. Hina). ...What, you were expecting me to put a guy in the example? Remember, she has a boyfriend in canon.
Sayaka... is here because of... NOT ships, but DRAT. Yes, really. (”We really got down and dirty, Naegi-kun.”)
Sonia... strikes me as someone who swings both ways. I can’t describe exactly why I feel that way, but yes.
Bisexual (No Preference)
Celeste wants a harem of vampire boys but shipping her with Kyoko is also very popular and honestly i feel like it would fit her character. She’s got a look that says “I could get any ass I want and I know it.”
Ibuki is decked out in blues and pinks, and also I ship her fairly evenly among both boys and girls. She just screams bi icon to me, more so than any other character in the series.
Junko is either bi with no preferences or pan. She is an equal opportunity heart-and-soul-breaker and lust-for-despair machine.
There is no Mukuro in this list, but honestly I would probably put her where I put Junko anyway.
Kaede... is here because of ships (e.g. Miu, Maki)
Honestly I had no idea where to put Kirumi, so I just randomly chose one that I wouldn’t regret later if I ever put more thought into who I shipped her with.
I’m pretty sure Nagito being bisexual has some degree of canon attached to it??? I think??? I’m not entirely sure tbh, but fuck it. I’m doing this for fun anyway, so this doesn’t really matter.
Shuichi, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. I also find him to be more shippable with guys than the other two protags, so IMO he has no preference.
Toko might have a thing or two for pretty boys, but... Komaru, I mean, this isn’t exactly shocking, I don’t think. Probably was closeted before she met Komaru. I mean she did focus on Hina’s boobs a lot in DR1, let’s not forget.
Tsumugi, much like Kirumi, is here because I haven’t put much thought into her ships.
Bisexual (Female Preference)
Gundham has a thing with Sonia in canon, but I can see him being bi. So... yeah, ships again.
Hajime, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. It’s just that his Chiaki and Mikan game is just too strong.
Hifumi might claim to only like 2D, but his interest in Chihiro both in human form and computer program form (and the fact that this didn’t go away after the gender reveal) places him here.
Kaito strikes me as a closeted bisexual. The kind that could start any given conversation with “I’m not gay, but...”
Kazuichi also strikes me as a closeted bisexual, only his “I’m not gay, but...” is rooted more in dumbass than it is in systematic homophobia.
Korekiyo... is here because of ships (e.g. Rantaro).
Kyoko is bi as fuck, and I can see her having a preference towards girls in particular. She gets shipped with girls a lot (e.g. Celeste, Hina, Yui, and even Junko and Mukuro), and when she is shipped with boys it’s usually just pretty boys (e.g. Makoto, Byakuya, Ryota, Shuichi, and, depending on your interpretation, Chihiro). Also note that aside from Makoto and maybe Byakuya, Kyoko’s girl ships are far more popular than her boy ships. Just something I’ve noticed over the years.
Leon... is here because of ships (e.g. Chihiro).
Mahiru is here because I’m pretty sure she has a thing for Hajime in her FTEs, but obviously she tends to get shipped with girls more often (especially Hiyoko), and I agree.
Makoto, like all Danganronpa protags, is bi as fuck. It’s just that his Kyoko, Hina, Sayaka, and Mukuro game is just too strong.
Mikan may be interested in Hajime somewhat, but her obsession with Junko cannot be ignored, no matter how much some of you may want to.
Mondo is another character that strikes me as a closeted bisexual. He is said to strike out all the time with girls, so I do think he’s attracted to women. And I do get some vibes that he’s attracted to Chihiro pre-reveal. And if circumstances had been different, I imagine he probably still would have been post-reveal. But obviously it’s his bond with Taka that I feel cements his sexuality in, at the very least, an mlm category.
Tenko... is here NOT because of ships, but because I’m pretty sure she’s at least sort of interested in Shuichi because of some canon thing... and also I don’t want to put her in Lesbian just because it feels like I’d be stereotyping the Lesbian category if I do that. If we were to compare her to the character that I did put in Lesbian, Hiyoko doesn’t treat people like shit because they’re men, she’s an equal-opportunity asshole. Still not the best representation for lesbians by a long shot, but at least Hiyoko doesn’t follow the stereotype of a man-hating lesbian. She’s just like that, and that’s okay. But putting Tenko there, especially if she’s shown some degree of interest in a male character at some point in the game, just rubs me the wrong way personally, because it would feel like I’m ignoring canon just to stereotype her. But that’s just a personal hang up of mine. No disrespect intended toward anyone who genuinely feels that Tenko is a lesbian. Maybe you see something there that I don’t, and that’s perfectly fine.
Pansexual
I don’t remember exactly how her FTEs went, so I’m not going to get into that, but Angie just comes off as pan to me, like gender doesn’t fit into the equation at all for her.
Gonta I can see as either pan or ace. I feel like he wouldn’t care about gender, and honestly the only reason I decided to put him in Pan rather than Ace is because of that scene with Miu.
Imposter is not only pan, they are currently OT3ing it up with Ibuki and Ryota as we speak, and that’s a fact.
Keebo... is mostly here because of ships. A lot of ships, actually. Mostly male ships (Kokichi, Shuichi, Kazuichi, and, depending on your interpretation, Chihiro) but there’s also Miu to consider. And the Miu game is SO strong that I put him in Pan instead of, say, Male Preference.
Just gonna lump them together because I have the same thing to say about both of them: Miu and Teruteru would **** anything that walks. What did I censor? Well, I’m doing the Nier: Automata thing, so you can put whatever you want in there and trust me, it would probably fit, for better or for worse.
Ace
I know this is an unpopular opinion, because Naegami, but I just don’t think Byakuya is interested in anyone, at least not in that way. He might be fascinated with how common people live, because it’s so foreign to him, but that’s about it.
Straight
Even though I do ship Fuyuhiko with some of the boys, his Peko game is so strong that honestly I can’t see him actually dating anyone aside from Peko outside of some very niche fanfiction.
Honestly, Hiro was another one that I was just like “I have no idea what to do with you.” I think maybe his team up with Kanon made me eventually choose to put him in Straight? I don’t remember. I clearly didn’t put much thought into Hiro.
I really only ship Nekomaru with Akane, so that’s why he’s here. I’m sure if I dive deep enough into my psyche I can pull an mlm ship with Nekomaru in it out of my ass, but like Rantaro that wouldn’t be significant enough to change anything.
Peko is in the same boat as Fuyuhiko. I have shipped her with girls before, but her Fuyuhiko game is just too strong.
Ryoma had a girlfriend once, and as far as I can remember he didn’t really seem interested in anybody in the game, so that’s all I have to go off of for him.
-----
So there you have it. Explanations for literally all of them! Explanations that were definitely not pulled out of my ass as I was typing them, nope, certainly not. Definitely won’t be tagging all of them, but I may tag the ones with the longest entries. And like all the tier lists I’ve done, this was just for fun and honestly any opinion I have for any of these characters could change at a moment’s notice because my brain is fickle like that. Tried my best to make sure that every tier had at least one character in it, but I did so without trying to force characters in places that I personally did not believe they should go. I hope you all enjoyed my dive into this area of fandom that I rarely dive into (the LGBT headcanons, not the ships, obviously). It was a lot of fun, and hopefully it will stay fun and not result in angry anons blasting me for my opinions. I am grateful that this never seems to happen to me, but I’ve seen it happen to others and I know what Tumblr is capable of at its worst. These are just headcanons and a matter of personal opinion, and if you disagree with them, that’s perfectly okay. Your feelings and opinions are also valid.
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therealtsk · 3 years
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tsk i’m DYING to hear your play-by-play on which worm characters have dumb fanon interpretations
UH OH YOU JUST OPENED THE FLOODGATES so the short answer is pretty much every major character but I am a high-effort bitch so let's do this: Taylor Hebert: jfc, I could probably hit a word count limit talking about Taylor alone. First you have the dumb as shit TINO (Taylor In Name Only) phenomenon where people just straight up SI as Taylor but pretend it's her and she's basically a different person wearing Taylor's skin like an ill-fitting suit. Then there's the Memetic Escalator Taylor interpretation where Taylor's Warlord era characterization is flanderized so hard that she turns into her world's version of Doomguy where her response to literally everything is ultra violence, mutilation and torture and she can totally beat up anyone you guys hahah coin sock goes brrrrr you go brutalize those totally deserving victims queen. And then there's shy, stuttering, soft spoken "useless lesbian" Taylor which is not as common but still, fuckin straight men and the way they infantize gay women. Taylor is perhaps the most consistently inconsistent characterization I've seen in fandom, it's fucking wild Lisa Wilbourn: Has two fanon settings. Taylor's best friend who exists solely to give exposition and get the "Stop Coil" subplot rolling (occasional gay subtext will be added in a way that feels fetishy) Or, the evil bitchy blonde who is first target of the SI. I constantly wonder if the people who write the frankly masturbatory SI's are aware that we can tell they're still bitter about girls not dating them in highschool. Brian: basically does not exist in fic aside from the occasional joke cause racism and also because of how popular wlw ships are in Worm fandom. you deserve better dude Alec: has a few token appearances in wormfic fandom that usually have him as the comic relief alongside Aisha, which might actually be for the best considering he's a rapist and the Worm fandom's uhhhh tendencies. Moving on- Aisha: prankster girl that alt!Taylor will adopt as a younger sibling. hopefully is not part of the totally-not-a-harem considering she's even younger then the rest of these teens Bitch: Another girl to fall into alt!Taylor's definitely-not-a-harem, but with more butch tendencies. Basically has no personality in fanon outside of her dogs Parian: SHE DOESN'T HAVE A SHOP FFS also another member of Taylor's totally-not-a-harem Flechette: yeah it's a harem Sophia: holy shit you think Brian's bad? The racism in pretty much every fanon depiction of Sophia is off the charts. Hyper-violent, super edgy, "predator/prey" speech inbound, will get humilated/killed in some new, supposedly satisfying but actually just deeply uncomfortable way, probably throw in some E88 shit too just because Emma: again, do the writers know we can tell they're still malding over the fact that the pretty girls in highschool didn't date them? fanon emma is pretty much a cardboard cut out of whoever was mean to the author. something something bitches three Madison: in fanon has a C53 fetish, occasionally is also Browbeat. don't ask why Victoria: gets hit with the blonde stereotypes even harder then Lisa, "Collateral Damage Barbie" is one of the phrases that activates my flight or fight responses. she basically is an entirely different character in fanon. bubbly dumb blonde girl with a massive temper and well other sexist bullshiit Amy: I hate even touching this character with a ten foot pole but basically is hit with the "soft useless lesbian" trope hard enough to make her into a completely separate person from her canon self. whether or not this is a good thing is still up for debate Carol: in fanon, an evil bitch who exists solely to bully Amy Mark: who? The rest of New Wave: cannon fodder for Leviathan Danny Hebert: literally stale milk instead of a personality, will probably die before the fic is over but we won't care because the author did not care either Armsmaster: hahaha robotman go brrrr or is an arrogant self-aggrandizing shit, can't interact with people without Dragon helping him 24/7 Miss Militia: fanon bat'd into team mom,
idk where this came from considering her first instinct upon seeing children is to pull out a gun holy shit wait is she actually Taylor's true mom- Velocity: canon fodder for levi Battery & Assault: sitcom wife, sitcom husband! please ignore how fucked up this relationship is if you look at it for more than two seconds Dauntless: haha armsy is JEALOUS also cannon fodder for levi Triumph: who? The BB wards in general tend to be incredibly bland, the only ones who have fanon personalities of note are Clockblocker and Vista. The former being such a huge prankster that every other line is a joke- or him complaining about how BULLSHIT Alt!Taylor's powers are. Vista is an angry kiddo who says that Shadow Stalker doesn't count as being a girl on the team The E88: no personality for any of them except that Kaiser is noble and really isn't that bad and also Purity did nothing wrong totally she's just a hot mom trying to do her best, please ignore how she exclusively targets characters of color and literally calls white criminals more civilized than miniorities- the worm fandom has something of a nazi problem i hate it here The ABB: racism and honorable samurai lung even though that has no canon basis so again, racist stereotypes The Slaughterhouse 9: This one makes me just as sad as the Lisa shit because dear god this is such a good cast of villains that fanon completely flattens to bowling pins for the Alt!Taylor of the week to mow down, why does this fandom suck so much. Anyway Jack is just the Joker, Crawler is masochistic, etc i'm moving on now The PRT/Protectorate as a whole: They are an evil paramilitary organization that pressgangs kids into signing up to become child soldiers, and somehow at the same time, they are a bunch of idiots who listen to the PR department and have stupid things like RULES that prevent capes from COMMITTING VIOLENCE. Being called "the biggest gang of all" is common and some shit like "at least the criminals are honest" is a likely statement. Cauldron: whoo boy this one really boils my blood but fanon Cauldron are just a bunch of evil idiots who can't even tie their shoelaces. basically a bunch of dudebros are upset that women run the world and that two of them essentially have "I win" powers so they have to make them lose to their SI- er, Taylor in fics so they can assuage their masculinity, which totally isn't pathetic Scion: Is at once the end all be all of worm you can't write a wormfic without scion or else it's TOTALLY MEANINGLESS because what is the point of a story if all the characters are going to DIE in a few years anyway, and at the same time is incredibly easy to defeat- this ties into how Cauldron is stupid. Scion Truthers pls shut up and go read something else okay I think that's everyone I would apologize but the only thing I'm sorry for is how messy this is
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s0ym1lk · 3 years
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I would like to get into a character that I feel very ambivalent about: Klaasje. Not so much Klaasje herself, but some of the narratives that her character (and other female characters) embody in Disco Elysium.
(Warning: spoilers ahead, as well as talk of sexual assault and Klaasje's canonically batshit relationship)
In my opinion, Klaasje's relationship with the mercenary is a subversion of traditional feminist narratives. You'll notice that she typically responds positively to sexist or sexual remarks aimed at her, like when you can say, 'I would like to have fuck with you' to her early in the game and she laughs about it. She views her relationship with the mercenary as equally positive, despite the fact that he incorporates war crime roleplay into their sex life (if anyone is still here despite the spoiler warning and hasn't finished the game yet.... Yes, this is real). And of course, Titus Hardie attempts to coerce her into describing her relationship as rape to protect her from being suspected of murder, but she flat out rejects this and tells you straight up, even after you produce a recording that sounds like the planning of a really violent rape, that her relationship was mostly consensual.
I found this to be probably the most 'what the fuck' aspect of the game by far. It felt to me like Klaasje was meant to be a rejection of the idea that women have to be negatively affected by sexism. Basically, Klaasje chooses to find it funny or 'look beyond to the heart of gold inside the man' (this is essentially what she says about why she has a relationship with the mercenary). And she flat out refuses to let any of the men in the game challenge her on that view. When you show up with the creepy recording, Klaasje acknowledges that the mercenary is fucked up, but explains that she just chooses to accept him, because everyone's fucked up, and because he's just daydreaming about stuff he never actually did. Basically, she says to stop mansplaining sexism to her and accept her conclusions about him.
This whole thing sounds complex and sophisticated, but it's actually a very simple argument that anti-feminists have been making for a long time: that things can only hurt you if you let them. Essentially, it's an argument that sexism only has power if women choose to let it have power over them and their self-respect. If they choose not to, as Klaasje has done, things turn out fine. She laughs at sexism, and everything is fine. All the guys like her. She has a good sex life, as good of one as you can have in Revachol. She is a Cool Girl.
This does not work in practice.
First, as willing as the game is to get into dark territory, it is categorically not willing to get into the subject of sexual assault (with one caveat, which I'll get to). I don't fault the game for not doing this, but I DO fault it for making a, 'you can just ignore sexism and it will be fine' argument without acknowledging that sexism has actual physical consequences. Laughing at an attacker's threats will not stop him from raping you. Interestingly, the game also doesn't get into other largely-female issues of violence, like domestic abuse. So I find the argument that DE is trying to make through Klaasje super unconvincing, because it just flat-out ignores the most obvious counter argument for no reason. DE is a dark game. If you can have a recording of fake rape planning in the game, you can talk about real sexual assault.
The one place I recall them bringing it up is when you can ask Klaasje whether her relationship with the mercenary is consensual, and she answers, 'Mostly'. Hey creators - what the fuck does that mean????? Are we talking, 'i was on drugs and couldn't consent' stuff? Dubcon-level 'he never actually asked for consent but I was into it' stuff? 'We do kinky shit without a safe word and I find some of it uncomfortable' stuff? Or are we making an argument that Klaasje actually was being sexually assaulted and she's not willing to acknowledge that? We don't get to know, because there's no explanation. The plot just drops that bomb and moves on. All of those extrapolations would lead to a different conclusion on this topic because they would be explains is how complicated a subject consent is, but we can't use it, because it's not clear what the creators were trying to say. Any conclusion I come up with would be too much of a guess for me to feel comfortable.
Ultimately, I'm left with the very uncomfortable feeling that the game is pushing back on feminist narratives by arguing that feminism is telling women to feel bad about sexist behavior. And Klaasje isn't the only example of this - remember the Sylvie/Garte side plot, where you can basically fly off the handle and accuse Garte with zero evidence of harassing Sylvie until she quit? The game wants to bring in feminist talking points, turn them on their heads, and make the case that actually feminism is bad and just trying to create problems where none exist. It's a shockingly bad take that I wasn't really willing to believe at first, simply because the rest of the game is so progressive.
I really do like Disco Elysium, but talking about the stuff that it gets wrong is important too. This is a part they got really wrong.
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scarlet--wiccan · 3 years
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You've said Wanda's treatment in Disassembled, HoM, and HoXPoX+DoX+RoX smacks of misogyny, ableism, and racism. The misogyny and ableism is obvious, but are you sure Bendis, Hickman, et al. are even aware of Wanda's ethnicity ?
I don’t really think they have an excuse for not being aware. This information is easy to find. I understand that, in the 2000s, you couldn’t pull stuff up online, but, like, there are dossiers. There are handbooks. I’m sure they have archives. It’s an editor’s job to remember these things. Besides, when Chaos and HoM were written, the Busiek/Perez era was a very recent memory. Similarly, the Hickman era of X-Men began shortly after books like Quicksilver No Surrender and Robinson’s Scarlet Witch. Wanda and Pietro’s background is never truly hidden-- someone’s always mentioning it. 
So, if any writer or artist is ignorant to Wanda’s background, that’s part of the problem. Maybe it’s not that individual person’s fault, but it’s somebody’s fault. The material has existed for decades, but people always manage to forget, or trick themselves, and anyone else who’ll listen, into believing that it’s “complicated” or “unclear.” It really isn’t. We’ve known for years that these characters hold a particular identity, which represents a real marginalized people. You can’t treat that like it’s disposable, or debatable, but America has a very particular set of blinders when it comes to Roma. As I’ve said, it’s learned ignorance. It’s cognitive dissonance. You know better, but you refuse to apply the same critical thinking to a character like Wanda that you would... probably any other character of color.
I mean, we wouldn’t just let writers and artists just forget that a Black character is Black... would we, Sunspot? Obviously, I know that this problem isn’t exclusive.
So, anyways, that’s one of the problems at hand. Nobody should ever be allowed to write a story about Wanda without even knowing her background. It’s shoddy work regardless of race issues-- you’ve gotta have at least a basic understanding of your source material, but I think we already know that Bendis wasn’t too concerned about continuity.
If you’re wondering why I think these character treatments are racist, it’s mostly because the politics which are projected onto Wanda become problematic when you remember that she is a woman of color, whose early life was impacted by systemic racism, hate crimes, etc. To write her as a self-hating minority and perpetrator of genocide is pretty ugly. Styling a Roma woman from a traveling community as an interloper who becomes Krakoan nationalism’s favorite boogeyman is SUPER UGLY, and I shouldn’t have to explain why. 
As always, these choices would be more nuanced if we had Romani perspectives in the canon, but we don’t. Bendis is Jewish, and I’m not, so even though I’m uncomfortable with the optics of Magneto in House of M, I try to limit my criticisms there. He isn’t Roma, nor are Remender or Hickman, so I feel confident in saying they don’t really have the right to make such charged decisions with, you know, the most visible Roma character in American comics.
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alexaplaysgames · 3 years
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Hideaway
Pairing: Felix Escellun x GN!MC
Fandom: Fictif (Last Legacy)
Rating: T (swearing, dorks making out)
Words: ~2600
Description: Felix and his barista explore his childhood home.
Notes: Felix has all my uwus 🥺 did not post five fics in one day (yet) but I might if convinced.
Thanks to @callioops for the inspiration :)
Please go easy on me I am in no way a fanfiction writer by nature but my love for Felix has evidently overpowered my insecurities ;)
Edit: Uhh.... I was debating between settings for this and realized I made it super ambiguous, so I’ve edited it now!
Warning: This is heavily canon divergent now. Oops.
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I’m not even sure how I ended up here, to be quite honest.
But I would’ve had to be crazy to have predicted such a thing- a portal to another dimension (is this another dimension?), a towering manor overflowing with stuffy furniture and servants, a raven-haired goth (although he would protest to such a description) with a bird skull strung around his neck. Honesty, his fashion sense is questionable, though admittedly charming, but I nonetheless can’t seem to get him out of my head.
No, this is the stuff of fantasies born to the insane, of perhaps just the slightly deranged.
I’m not protesting, however, quite the contrary. As I pull Felix through the winding corridors of his childhood home, trying not to thing about the smooth softness of his cool hand in mine, I can honestly say that I haven’t had such fun in a very, very long time.
“Stop, stop!” Felix laughingly protests between laboured breaths, tugging on my hand. I gradually slow to a halt, our footsteps echoing in the large, surprising empty corridor, and Felix slips his hand from mine to brace his hands on his knees as he pants. I try to ignore the resulting disappointment that pangs in my chest and grin.
“You doing okay there, bird boy?”
Apparently, he still has the energy to raise his head and glare.
“My apologies, dear barista, that I have not your physical endurance.” He rolls his eyes, then pauses and smirks. “My being a magical prodigy has spared me the effort of such trivial things as exercise.” He spits the last word out with a scoff.
My grin widens as I saunter closer, placing a finger under his chin to raise his gaze to meet mine from where he is still bent over and panting.
“Perhaps we’ll just have to work on your stamina then, won’t we?”
Felix’s cheeks flush that pretty red that I know has nothing to do with exertion as he ducks his head. I smirk as I turn to examine the nearby wall, giving him time to collect himself. How fun it is to make him blush.
A row of framed paintings lines the wall, all of the equally bizarre. I try to make sense of the faces in them, but the harder I look, the more blurred they become. They are all covered in a discernible layer of dust, indicating that this hallway is rarely used. A peculiar sort of coldness rolls off of the strange pieces, one that has me averting my eyes from the freaky, obviously magically concealed paintings.
“Do you think anyone will find us here?”
I question as I turn to see Felix straightening and running a hand through his hair. I try not to let my eyes follow the motion, choosing instead to meet his icy gray gaze.
He seems perturbed as he looks around, biting his lip. It’s as if he’s just realized where we are. His fault for letting me lead him through the monstrous maze that is his home.
“No. Escell has not entered this corridor in years. I’m surprised he has not blocked it off. He rather enjoys avoiding all things that make him uncomfortable.”
“And what makes him uncomfortable about this wing?”
“Too many memories, my dear. Memories he would prefer to keep locked up.” Though he says it with a smirk, tapping one black-painted fingernail against his temple, it comes out only as sounding rather sad.
I open my mouth to reply, but am interrupted by a sharp-
“Master Felix! Enough with your foolish hiding!”
Felix’s eyes widen as he visibly flinches. “Great goddess, have mercy.”
The voice of Madam Usoro, an angry, mean, lump of a woman, sounds like it is coming from just down the long hall. I cringe inwardly, and probably outwardly, at the thought of meeting her again. According to Felix, she was one of his many childhood nannies (the only one that actually managed to survive his torments), and judging by her scowl, she hasn’t had a “me day” since then.
Unfortunately, Escell also assigned her the task of watching over Felix.
“Ridiculous,” he huffs, “it is as if I am nine years old again!”
My gaze darts frantically between the doors lining the walls, not sure where any of them lead.
I grab Felix’s sleeve and tug, though his eyes stay trained on the end of the hallway, his expression resigned.
“Felix!” I hiss, “which of these goddamn doors will get us out of here?”
He merely sighs. “Why bother? My inevitable capture fast approaches, thus I have decided to be accepting of my fate. I will remain here as a prisoner for the rest of my days while Escell continues to treat me like a babbling infant.”
Great. Now really isn’t the time for his dramatics. I lunge forward and lock my hand around his wrist, tugging him once more down the endless corridor of doors. I feel Felix stiffen as I go to open the first door that catches my eye, but I yank it open and pull him inside before he can protest. The door shuts with a satisfying click and we are alone in a strange, dark room.
“Felix?” I cannot see a thing.
A flash of light, and then Felix appears, a green
orb of light glowing in his palm. I suck in a breath as I take in the captivating way the light hits his features, highlighting his long eyelashes and silvery eyes.
“Apologies! I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
I shake my head, unable to divulge to him the truth. I can’t have him knowing about my strange infatuation. Though I often indulge in what I consider to be harmless flirtation, I know Felix obviously isn’t interested in me. Just days ago he was crying over me, thinking I was someone else! The thought is sobering, and I shake my head.
“What is this room?”
“Ah,” he appears uncharacteristically lost for words. “This is... nothing. We can wait here, I’m certain she’ll cease her endless badgering soon enough.”
I send him a thumbs up before I turn to examine the room. I might as well look around, if there’s nothing else to do but sit around.
“Wait!” Felix’s sharp cry is especially harsh in the quiet of the strange room.
My head jerks up. “What is it?”
“I simply think it best not to carelessly voyage through the uncertainties of the dark. You haven’t a clue what you could stumble upon.”
Something about his tone sounds off, but I sigh and move back towards the door anyway. I have learned that there is no use arguing with him.
I’m almost near the safe haven of Felix’s orb of light when my foot slips on something. I manage to catch myself, but lean down and pick up the offensive item out of curiosity.
It’s a bound, leather notebook. It looks worn, from what I can tell in the faint light, and I flip it open to the inside cover, ignoring Felix’s faint protests in the back of my mind. On the right page are lines of scrawling, messy and unintelligible handwriting. But that’s not what catches my eye. On the left, the page reads:
Property of Felix Iskandar Escellun
I lift my gaze to meet Felix’s guilty visage.
“This is yours?”
He cringes but attempts to hide it with a shrug. The movement does not at all look natural on him.
“You are aware I was raised here?” He snatches the journal out of my grasp with his free hand, then quirks a brow. “Why are you surprised to find an object previously in my possession?”
Felix is an atrocious liar. I glance around the room and suddenly it hits me where we are.
“This was your bedroom, wasn’t it?”
Although Felix is, I assume, currently staying somewhere else, his reaction leaves me with no doubt in my mind that this used to be his room.
Felix bites his lip (he really needs to stop doing that lest I get distracted) then slowly nods. With another sigh, he presses his palms together, then spreads them apart until green light flows throughout the room, the night vision goggle-like effect making it look like we’re on an episode of ghost hunters.
“I would rather not spend time sifting through old memories,” Felix says quietly from beside me as I observe my surroundings.
The room is relatively sparsely decorated. In the centre of the opposite wall is a large, canopy bed, the sheets tossed to the side and the curtains haphazardly thrown about. A large desk is pressed up against one wall, overflowing with notebooks and stacks of parchment, and a bookcase on the opposite wall is spilling over with messily arranged books. A large, elegant armchair is piled high with odd boxes near the middle of the room, and an open armoire is empty save for a pile of clothing laying at the bottom. The whole place is a mess, and though the furniture is very fine, Felix’s attempts to hide that fact are quite obvious. The few windows are boarded up, the curtains surrounding them singed. In fact, there are several odd burn marks on the floor, and I don’t think they’re due to the large stone fireplace.
“Wow.” Very eloquent of me to say.
“Ugh. I despise this room.”
I drift curiously about making note of the objects in the room. Aside from the pieces of writing, there is very little here to signify that the room was Felix’s.
I walk over to the window and am pleased to find the the large wooden board covering it is relatively easy to dislodge. Behind it, there is a window seat, and I glance out the window to see a view of the rolling hills that stretch far and beyond, illuminated by the moonlight.
Felix flops onto the window seat with a sigh. I sit beside him and try to ignore the fact that our knees touch.
Felix squeezes his eyes shut. “I apologize for my theatrics, dear barista, but I would truly rather leap off the highest tower of the castle of Porrima than suffer through living in this room again.”
I refrain from telling him that I did, in fact, almost leap off the castle’s highest tower, and it is not as fun as he makes it out to be.
He hardly ever speaks of his past without flippant disregard for true emotion. “Will you tell me why it was so bad, Felix?”
His eyes shoot open and he scoffs, though his eyes glisten in the moonlight which shines through the window.
His voice is small as he replies. “I was forced every day to live a life I hated in hopes of pleasing a father whose love I already knew I would never earn. I have never felt so useless, so pathetically desperate, as I felt here. And here I am, back again. All my work to escape this place has been for naught.”
My heart aches for him, the expression on his face causing a physical pain in my chest.
“Felix...” I say softly, and before I even register what I’m doing, my hand is grabbing his.
Felix meets my gaze, eyes wide. Every time I touch him he gets so surprised, and I wonder how often he has been touched lovingly in his life.
“I would never think you useless, Felix, never. You are so extraordinary, so brilliant, and it’s a shame that you can’t see it. You have done so much for me and... I need you. Not just to get home, I don’t even know if I care about that anymore, but because you’ve make me so happy, Felix. Being with you feels like being able to breathe. I know that everyone else has left you, but I promise you, I never will. Never.”
His lips part in shock at my words and this time I can’t stop my eyes from flickering down to his mouth. He is so beautiful. I would do anything to kiss him, even just once.
Felix raises his hand and his fingers draw lines down my cheek, making me shiver. Then he leans forward and presses his forehead against mine, closing his eyes.
“Thank you.”
The words are said so quietly that I barely hear them, but I don’t need to with the gratitude that seems to roll off of him in waves.
“Felix?”
“Hm?”
A pause.
“Do you ever think about me?”
“I... I- of course I do. You have consumed every aspect of my waking life.” I can hear a slight teasing in his voice.
I lick my lips. “Do you ever think of me like you think of Rime?”
I can feel him flinch at the name and am about to apologize before he speaks.
“Rime is gone. A necromancer knows better than to waste energy attempting to recall what has been truly lost.”
“Oh... I-“
He sounds so incredibly sad. Whoever Rime is, I’ve no doubt that Felix loved this person. Though I know I shouldn’t feel jealous of a dead person, envy ripples through my stomach all the same.
“I... do. Think about you.”
And the meaning has changed. He pulls back with a shaky breath, cheeks bright red. “I know I am not the most naturally affectionate person, but I-“
He thinks about me. My heart does a fluttering little happy dance at the thought.
Screw it. If I leave this world, I don’t want to have any regrets.
And that’s the thought that propels me forward as I crash my lips into his with a longing I have never before felt. Felix gasps against my mouth and stiffens, and I panic. What the hell am I doing? But no sooner has the thought left my mind then he relaxes and kisses me back. He kisses me back! And I’ve never felt anything more wonderful.
His hands come to set at my waist as mine cup his face, feeling his jaw work as he kisses me and that makes it all the more real that he is kissing me and this isn’t some sort of fervour dream. I pull his hair free from its tie and tangle my fingers in the silken locks of his hair, and god, it’s just as soft as I thought I would be.
Felix kisses like he talks- a little hestitant, full of passion, and enough to make your head spin. It feels like I’m falling, I don’t know which way it’s up and which is down, just like when he rambles on about spells I could never hope to comprehend, but the drop is thrilling because I’ve wanted it so badly and for so long. At first it’s slow, soft, but I want, so I press myself harder against him in effort to let him know that’s it’s okay for him to let himself take from me what he needs.
HIs hands tighten around my waist as he pulls me closer to him, hands drifting over my sides, and I smile against his lips at his momentary display of forwardness. I retaliate by tugging on his hair that flows between my fingers like water, causing his lips to part against mine as he gasps, the perfect opportunity to slip my tongue into his mouth and I’m worried that I’m moving too fast but he moans. I sling a leg over his thigh and we’re grabbing at each other like horny teenagers now-
Felix pulls away with a gasp (I knew we had to work on his stamina). We’re both breathing hard, echoing in the quiet of the large room, and he blinks rapidly; he looks rather like someone hit him over the head with a brick.
I smile at him, running a thumb over his lower lip, and he lets out a pained noise somewhere between a whimper and a squeak.
“I liked that,” I whisper.
“You- you did?”
I nod. “Of course, Felix. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long.”
“R-really?”
I roll my eyes, responding by leaning forward and pressing another chaste kiss to his lips.
“Me too.” He whispers it like a secret, one that I’ll gladly hold forever in my heart.
Felix tentatively reaches and takes my hand in his, flipping it over and drawing little patterns into my palm as he turns to stare out the window again. It’s soothing, and I don’t really pay attention to the patterns. But after a while I think he starts inadvertently drawing hearts into my skin. It’s rather cute; I didn’t take him for a romantic.
“Master Felix!” The voice sounds from not too far outside Felix’s bedroom door.
“Shit.”
I’m afraid I don’t possess his way with words.
Our eyes meet and we both burst into a fit of giggles as the sounds of Madam Usoro’s footsteps gets louder. Trapped as we are, she’s bound to find us soon. Somehow, I’m not worrried. Nothing could ever take Felix from me.
And he knows that I will never leave him.
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disco-tea · 4 years
Text
I’m going to dip into the waters of probably a slightly controversial (?) subject, but I personally don’t think the Handler and Five were a thing. I know some people do. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part because I personally find the concept too icky and messed up to imagine, even with adult Five. I think if it were to happen it would’ve had to happen early on before Five got to know her and figured out what type of person she was and the disgust/disdain set in. But even from their very first interaction, Five still didn’t seem like he liked her very much even then, he was just desperate to get out of the apocalypse. I could see him *maybe* latching onto her a bit at first because she saved him from the apocalypse and she was the first real person he’d seen since he was a child and he felt like he owed her, but I just don’t think Five, fresh out of 45 years of isolation with next to no social skills and his only emotional connection being an inanimate object, would really possess the capacity to enter into a relationship like that. Honestly, I have a hard time seeing Five (at least TV Five anyway) having casual relationships/flings anyway. I think if he were to get into any sort of real romantic relationship it would be a very emotional thing and it would have to be with someone that he honestly trusts and feels like he can be vulnerable with. I just think that’s the kind of person he is. I think that’s his personality and arguably that could’ve even been heightened by not having any real emotional connections or relationships for so long. I just think the Handler is a creep who makes advances towards everyone (for example, the Swedes). I think she had a thing for Five (maybe because she could never fully manipulate him?) but he never had any interest in her. Not like that anyway. I mean, if you honestly think about it, she’s the one always making the remarks and he consistently ignores them or outright shoots them down. If anything, I would say she’s a predatory creep, particularly if she’s still making advances and remarks even after the body switch. Personally, their scenes (particularly the ones where she’s touching him, lounging on the bed, or making remarks. Not to mention the horror that is the bathroom scene) just make me super uncomfortable. I feel like no matter what scenerio (even adult Five) a relationship between them would mean her manipulating and taking advantage of him. The whole concept just makes me feel gross. Anyway, that’s just my two cents. Canon might prove me wrong one day (or maybe already has because I’ve heard some talk about it) but I’m just gonna hang onto it being a no for as long as I possibly can.
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