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#i mean what I didn't meet them irl
girlscience · 7 months
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i hate that my brain is like this. i hate that it does this to me. i see so many people for whom their sexuality is a source of pride and community and finding their sexuality opens a whole new world to them and they become open and confident people who are more themselves than ever before. and that's amazing! i am so happy for those people!! but it has never been that for me and i despise myself for that.
#i want so badly to say 'I AM [insert sexuality here]' 'IM OUT AND IM PROUD!'#i want to find local community and go to the gay bars#and meet people and make friends and kiss girls and all these things i see online or in fanfic#(listen i have been reading a huge amount of griddlehark and there is a lot of modern aus that i desperately desire)#but my brain thinks i am lying about all of it and whenever i say no i'm not lying it sets about convincing me i am#i think about women and it instantly goes okay but men though. what if you thought about them instead#and then it's all i can think of even though i don't want to#i think about dating a woman and it says actually. think about dating a man#i say i don't want men and it says that's rude and mean and you never know what could happen#and you don't believe there is some magical difference between men and women they are all just people so you are a hypocrite#if you leave men out and honestly you don't find men repulsive and there have been men you thought were attractive even if you can't figure#out of it was attractive like sex or attractive like marble statues#and you say you like body hair on women but it weirds you out on men but it's the exact same thing so you have to like it on both#and you read so much mlm fic and so little wlw so you think men are hot cause you've thought some of the mlm stuff was hot#so obviously you want to have sex with men#even if all the men who have actually hit on you irl made you uncomfortable#you didn't actually stop it from happening and honestly you really wanted it to happen and you just wanted them to force it on you#cause you are a evil gross freak who fetishizes#nevermind. this is spiraling.#and is just turning into a way for me to hurt myself more with this
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strangeswift · 1 year
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iiseor · 3 months
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☆ gloomchair2010 ☆
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synopsis: ellie adds you in a chat room after a mutual game. IB
cw: AU, kind of loser!nerd!ellie x popular!reader except reader is like a loser in the online world and popular irl while ellie is the opposite; make sense?? Semi stalker!ellie. This is part 1..if this does good ill continue !
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ⓘ new friend request: @gloomchair2010
accepted ! reject
Gloomychair2010 has joined the chat
@gloomchair2010: hey :D
@ynspeaks: hey..?
@ynspeaks: do i know you?
@gloomychair2010: lol.. dont think so ! but we just played random duos together :)
@gloomychair2010: good game and all, just wanted to see if you needed help figuring out how to work your weapons and stuff so next time you dont die so quickly xD
@ynspeaks: haha right, i just realized your username... thank you, and i dont really play often... but you can help if you'd like :)
@gloomychair2010: really??? Would've thought you were a pro the way you stood there and let that guy shoot you in open space !
@ynspeaks: omg >< was i really that bad?
@gloomychair2010: maybe just a little ....
@gloomychair2010: nothing a little mentoring cant fix... whenever you have the time.
@ynspeaks: sounds fun :D I'm down
@ynspeaks: i like your display name btw !!!! it's so cool
@ynspeaks: what does it mean?
@gloomychair2010: you don't know ?
@ynspeaks: should i ? :(
@gloomychair2010: haha thought you would, it's a metaphor to a pretty popular game.
@ynspeaks: ohhhhhhh
@ynspeaks: i dont know much about this stuff story :<
@ynspeaks: kinda just getting into it, needed a distraction :]
@gloomychairs2010: oh....? Really??
@glooomychairs2010: something wrong?
@ynspeaks: nothing big... just life you know?
@gloomychair2010: sorry to hear that :(
@gloomychair2010: maybe you should try playing musical chairs, it'll make you happier
@ynspeaks: ??????????
@gloomychairs2010: gaming reference, sorry
@ynspeaks: sorry LOL , ill learn eventually :]
@ynspeaks: my moms going to call me for dinner soon so ill have to go, but it was nice talking to you. A good distraction so far :D
@ynspeaks: Im y/n btw... if you didn't read my user!
@gloomychairs2010: oh right it's getting pretty late
She said knowing she stays on the game way past midnight.... every night
@gloomychairs2010: oh and I'm ellie... in all honesty i didnt read ur name xD
@ynspeaks: it's okay!! you were too busy trying to save me from dying LOL
@ynspeaks: Nice to meet you ellie :3 chat later!!
@gloomychairs2006: nice to meet you too y/n :^)
*ynspeaks has left the chat*
*gloomychair2006 has left the chat*
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After your chat ended, ellie found herself reminiscing about the conversation between you two. Though the conversation was extremely short, there was something so intriguing about you that she could somehow feel through the screen.
and that night, instead of staying up till 4am playing video games, she decided to take all technology based skills she obtained over the years, and utilize them in a deep dive internet search on you and who exactly @ynspeaks really was.
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wileys-russo · 5 months
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idk if this is really boring but could you do a leah x alessia x reader where r isn’t a footballer but has to do some charity football match for work or whatever (u can work out the details idk😭) & her gfs get competitive over teaching r how to play and prepping her for the game then they go support her at the match and r does really good IDK feel free to ignore if that’s rubbish lmfao
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psa; just because i write this does not mean i ship these two irl! offence and defence II a.russo & l.williamson
"baby?"
you looked up from your book with a hum to meet alessia's raised eyebrow, leahs head in your lap as she lay down on the sofa dead asleep. "what is this?" your girlfriend questioned, turning her phone to face you as your eyes widened.
"where did you find that less?" you sighed, the snap of your book closing causing leahs eyes to flutter open as she mumbled something incoherent and rolled over, burying her face in your stomach.
"its all over your companies social media, i hardly had to go looking." alessia holding up a screenshot of a poster for an upcoming charity football day ran by the company you worked for. "i'm not doing it anyway so it doesn't matter." you rolled your eyes.
"and why not?" alessia scoffed, locking her phone and crossing her arms. "because football is your thing, not mine." you gestured between your two blonde lovers and back to yourself. "babe its for charity!" alessia pointed out and you groaned, knowing now she'd latched on there wasn't a chance she'd let it go.
"i'll still go and help out with the fundraising and the event itself, i'm just not playing." you chuckled, leah pulling her face out of your hoodie with a tired scowl. "shut up!" the blonde grumbled tiredly, fixing the two of you with a glare, annoyed at the interruption to her afternoon snooze.
"sorry lee." you apologized softly, running a hand through her hair and kissing her forehead. "no you'll wanna be awake for this, get up!" alessia smacked the back of her legs, taking a seat on the opposite end of the lounge as leah groaned.
"leave her be and drop it alessia!" you warned the striker with a firm look who only poked at the back of leahs legs repeatedly until she finally sat up with a huff. "what?" she spat toward the other blonde with an unimpressed glare as the girl handed her the phone.
"so?" leah questioned, not quite putting things together still half asleep. "she's refusing to play." alessia spoke about you as if you weren't even there as leah paused for a moment, cogs turning until it clicked.
"you're playing." she rounded on you, handing alessia back her phone and rubbing at her eyes, face still a little puffy as you exhaled deeply.
"no i am not, please just let it go!" you pleaded, your puppy dog eyes which normally worked a charm to get you whatever you wanted not working for you this time as both your girlfriends stared on unfazed.
"suddenly i feel a cramp coming on. oh this might be fatal!" you groaned, clutching your hamstring with a dramatic cry of pain, a smile tugging at alessia's lips as leahs remained pursed into a thin line.
"guess you better rest it tonight then, we start training tomorrow." "what!"
~
"come on love, training time." leah clapped the moment the three of you returned from a run as you groaned, laying down on the floor in protest.
you'd hardly ran far, only enough to keep the girls legs warm on their day off, but kicking a ball around your backyard was the last thing you felt like doing.
"i'll just watch some football games, study them. that's fine!" you waved her off as alessia watched on amused after chugging a glass of water.
"no you won't. you're dating two professional footballers babe this is our area of expertise. let us help you!" leah loomed over you, holding out her hands to help you up, wiggling her fingers impatiently.
"i didn't ask for help, thank you though." you slapped her hand in a lazy high five before they slumped back to your sides. "baby." leah now addressed alessia who raised an eyebrow. leah only clicked her fingers, pointing to you and striding off outside.
"hi gorgeous." alessia grinned down at you, blonde hair tied back in a messy bun as she chewed on gum, a habit which stressed you out to no end when she'd do it while playing or exercising.
"fine." you gave in with a sigh, knowing what came next as you held your arms up straight. alessia grabbed your wrists, hauling your body up and over her shoulder, walking the two of you out to the backyard.
"first lesson. kicking!" leah announced as alessia placed you down on your feet, leaving it to leah as she sat down on your back steps, leaning back on her elbows and watching on with a toothy grin of amusement.
"okay babe. kick the ball!" leah ordered, placing it down by your feet as you glared at her, poking the ball with your toe as it dribbled a mere thirty centimeters and stopped. "the more you fight us on it, the longer we spend out here." leah warned, tapping the ball back as it returned to your feet.
"kick it." she repeated as you wound up, this time booting it with all your force as it went sailing up and over the back fence. "oh we lost the ball...what a shame!" you shrugged, turning on heel and trying to return inside as alessia grabbed the back of your shorts.
with a shake of her head she pushed you gently back toward leah who'd already returned with another ball. "you're gonna make a perfect striker with that right foot baby." alessia smiled happily causing leah to scoff.
"she's gonna be an even better defender with that power in her kicks." leah rebutted with her hands on her hips. "okay my loves lets not-" you tried to intervene, knowing all too well where this was headed, cut off before you could even finish.
"striker." "defender." "striker!" "defender!" "she's playing offence leah!" "she'll be playing defence alessia!"
you gave up at that point as their bickering erupted, alessia jumping to her feet as you rolled your eyes and headed inside. you gave your boss a quick call, updating you were in fact available to play and wincing at he announced the only position left.
"baby you ran off." alessia appeared as you'd hung up, leah not far behind. "no! the two of you started arguing like children, so i took a leave of absence." you quipped, staring them both down as they smiled guiltily.
"doesn't matter anyway, there was only one position left." you sighed, both your girlfriends staring at you eagerly awaiting your answer. "well?" leah pushed impatiently as alessia shoved her with a look.
"goalkeeper."
~
"okay baby we're gonna start slow. lee will throw it and you'll just catch it." alessia instructed as you exhaled but nodded, readying yourself.
"see? easy love." leah smiled happily as you caught the ball, repeating the activity for a while, leah starting to throw in different directions causing you to have to move to catch it.
"now we move onto kicking and saving." you'd moved in front of the small goal which took permanent residence in your backyard. "go easy!" you warned nervously, having seen many a time just how powerful alessia could kick.
"ready?" you nodded, readying yourself as the blonde took a step back, boots hitting the ball with a thud as it came sailing toward your head and you darted out of the way.
"you're supposed to stop it not avoid it babe!" alessia lectured as you fixed her with a glare. "i will stop it when you don't kick it at my head!" you growled, booting the ball at her as hard as you could as she was now the one to dart away.
"stop laughing!" you turned your glare on leah now whose chuckles ceased, holding her hands up.
"okay! i think that's enough for today."
~
"baby think fast!" you barely had time to lift your head before alessia's trainer came flying at you, smacking you in the side of the face as leah choked on her mouthful of food beside you.
"alessia mia teresa!" you yelled, the blonde sprinting out of the room as you hauled her shoe after her. "something funny?" you challenged your other girlfriend, her smile dropping as she shook her head and you huffed, moving to the sink to wash your dishes.
"why are you so grumpy this morning my girl?" leahs arms wound round you from behind, her chin resting on your shoulder.
"why do you think? all week the two of you have been throwing things at me, kicking stuff at me, hitting me with shoes and fruit and books!" you scowled, trying to push her body away from you but the taller girl held on tightly.
"it was part of training! and hey you caught most of it...the last couple of days." leah winced at the memory, her and alessia perhaps a little too passionate in their mission to mold you into the best goalkeeper they could.
"well i didn't ask to be trained!" you reminded firmly, placing your dishes in the drying rack and shoving leah away. "i am not a dog." you warned her seriously, poking at her chest and turning, barreling right into someone else's.
"good morning i love you?" alessia tried, holding your body tightly to hers with a guilty smile, ducking her head to repeatedly kiss the side of her face where she'd assaulted you with her shoe.
"you're lucky i love you too."
~
"baby! you did so so so so good." you laughed as alessia picked you up in a bear hug, spinning you around for a minute before leah whined it was her turn, tugging you into her body and peppering your face with kisses, mumbling how proud she was.
"okay okay i am still at a work event." you gently pushed her off, face flushed bright red both from the game you'd just won and the showering of pda.
"-then when you did the dive??" alessia gasped, the three of you now sat in her car and on your way back to your shared home. "yeah love where did you learn to dive like that?" leah asked, leaning forward with a curious frown.
"watched a bunch of videos of mary. i told you if you just left me be to study i'd have been fine! instead of assaulting me with a barrage of household objects all weeks." you rolled your eyes playfully, alessia squeezing your leg with a smile, other hand on the steering wheel.
"well we're exceptionally proud of you baby girl." leah beamed, pinching your cheek before kissing it, dropping back into her seat. "good! because do not expect that ever again, god i don't know how you do that every weekend i am exhausted." you groaned tiredly.
"not too tired i hope love, we still have to celebrate you." alessia smiled suggestively, meeting leahs eyes in her rear view mirror as the eldest blonde leaned forward again, placing a few gentle kisses to your neck.
"yeah baby, gonna make you feel like a winner. our winner!"
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steddieas-shegoes · 9 months
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Request: wrong number au, Eddie texts Gareth something personal but puts in 1 wrong number & ends up texting Steve. The two of them hit it off & start chatting & then when they meet IRL they are completely head over heels in love & its cute as fuck
MY LOVE MY LOVE MY LOVE!!! LOVE A GOOD WRONG NUMBER AU!!! I can't believe I've never written it before now. I also had to actually include Gareth because I am actually obsessed with him lately, and I just think it's really neat that we can make these characters our own. This was such a fun and cute request! I didn't do the inappropriate route because I thought this was hilarious so sorry about that. I made up for it with something else! - Mickala ❤️
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GARE BEAR! You won’t believe it but i dropped my phone in a sewer. Lost everything.
He had never been so happy about having his closest friends’ numbers memorized. His phone was somewhere under the streets of Chicago, floating through dirty water and sewage, dying a slow and painful death.
He texted everyone else one at a time, let them know he had a new number and to completely delete the old one because it would never be recovered.
They were used to things like this happening; He lost his phone annually at this point and it was cheaper just to get a new number than transfer everything to a new one.
He went to dial Wayne, the old school part of him insisting on phone calls instead of texts still, when Gareth’s name popped up with a new text.
Not sure who Gare Bear is, but sorry about your phone. That’s shitty.
Eddie let out a loud laugh.
did you mean to make a pun?
Did it make you laugh?
yes
Then yes.
Eddie sat down on a bench, entirely focused on his conversation with this stranger.
Did you find your Gare Bear yet?
Not yet but i think i’m pretty happy talking to you for now
Smooth, Eddie.
Admittedly, he was in a hell of a dry spell.
Going on almost two years, actually.
A little flirting with a stranger never hurt anybody, not when he clearly needed some practice.
Not sure if your Gare Bear would like it very much though
Wait, what?
Eddie stared at his phone, trying to comprehend what that could mean. Why would Gareth not want him talking to a stranger?
I hope you find your partner though!
Oh.
Oh!
Eddie hit the call button in the corner before he could even register what he was doing.
“Hello?”
Oh no, he sounded hot.
“Hi. So, Gareth is very much not my partner. He probably actually wishes I would really forget his number,” Eddie rushed out.
“Um. Okay?”
“He’s been my best friend for ten years and he thinks I’m a mess. Not a partner,” Eddie further clarified.
“Got it. Not a partner.”
“Yes, exactly.”
They stayed silent for a moment before Eddie coughed.
“I’m Eddie, by the way.”
“Steve. Sorry about your phone, seriously that sucks,” he sounded genuinely apologetic, like he personally threw Eddie’s phone in the sewer.
“Oh, no big deal. I lose my phone more often than I go out with someone,” Eddie said.
Why did he say that?
Steve let out a laugh and it was like music.
Eddie couldn’t help the smile taking over his face at his laugh, already knew he wasn’t gonna be able to let this guy go without learning more about him.
“So you’re, what? Celibate?” Steve asked.
“Far from it. Well, maybe not far from it. Temporarily, maybe. It’s been a while,” Eddie admitted.
“How long?” Steve asked, a loud bang coming from his end of the phone. “Sorry, I had to go outside for some privacy.”
Eddie wasn’t going to read into that. He wasn’t.
“Two years give or take. I mean I’m not counting shitty dates that ended before they got worse. So, yeah. Two years.”
“Been a year for me, but. Yeah, I get it. My last relationship didn’t end on the best terms. She decided I was too in love with her I guess,” Steve sighed, voice sounding pained.
She.
Steve was probably straight.
There was no way he’d be lucky enough for Steve to like men.
Or for Steve to like him.
“I can’t really imagine breaking up with someone because they loved me too much. I’m usually the one who falls too hard,” Eddie admitted.
“Yeah, well, same here,” Steve sounded sad, a bit withdrawn.
Eddie wanted to hear him laugh again.
“I doubt either of us have ever fallen as hard as my phone did down a drain,” Eddie said sadly.
Steve let out a loud laugh and Eddie smiled.
“This might sound crazy, but I’m kind of glad your phone decided to live in the sewers,” Steve said when he finally calmed down. “And maybe a little too happy that you typed your friend’s number wrong.”
“Oh really? Why’s that?”
Was this flirting? Was he successfully having a flirtatious conversation with a potentially very hot guy?
“So I can be bold and ask if you maybe wanted to meet up somewhere?” Steve asked hesitantly.
“So you’re in Chicago?” Eddie asked.
“Yeah. You?”
“For the last five years, yeah.”
“You busy tonight?”
Eddie’s heart stopped.
He was really going to meet up with a stranger just because he liked his laugh and hoped he was hot.
He’d done more with less.
“Yeah, actually. I’m getting dinner with this guy I accidentally texted,” Eddie smirked, looking down at his feet.
“Dinner? What a lucky guy. Where are you going?” Steve sounded amused.
“Well, it depends on what he likes. I’ve been craving some pierogies. Ever been to Staropolska?” Eddie asked.
Gareth’s family owned it, and he used to eat there two or three times a week while they were in college, usually working off his bill in the kitchen doing dishes after.
He hadn’t been in a couple months, work keeping him busy and his budget being pretty tight when he moved into a studio apartment by himself.
He had enough to treat himself tonight though.
“The one on Milwaukee? Yeah. One of my favorite places to get devolay,” Steve sounded surprised that he knew it.
“You won’t believe this, but the friend I was trying to text when I got you, his family owns that place.”
“No way! Then we have to. We owe it to the guy who has almost my exact phone number,” Steve responded.
“Meet you there at seven?” Eddie asked, suddenly more nervous.
“Seven sounds good.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
Steve giggled. Eddie fell in love.
“We should probably hang up.”
“Should we?” Eddie asked, not wanting to stop talking to him yet.
“Yes, I have to do my hair. Gotta impress the guy who drops his phone in the sewer and texts strangers about it.”
“He sounds like a loser. Don’t put too much effort in,” Eddie sighed. “But okay. See you at seven.”
“See you then.”
They both stayed on the line for a minute.
“Okay. For real. Bye,” Steve laughed.
“Bye, Stevie.”
He hung up before he could convince himself to talk to him for the rest of the afternoon.
He breathed out a loud sigh, smiling as he realized he had a date.
He dialed Gareth’s real number immediately.
“Gareth, I have a date!”
“What is this number, Eddie?”
“Oh, I dropped my phone in the sewers. Not important. I have a date!”
“Jesus Christ. Okay. Come over then.”
—-----------------------------------
Gareth had been his pre-date hype man since high school, though he wasn’t very good at it.
Mostly he calmed Eddie’s nerves and helped make sure his hair didn’t look like he just woke up, which was often its unfortunate state of being.
“So, you don’t know this guy,” Gareth said from his bed.
“No.”
“And you talked for like two seconds and decided you’re in love with him,” he continued.
“Yes.”
“And you think this is totally normal and sane?”
“I didn’t say that. But we just…I dunno. We clicked. I haven’t been that at ease with someone in a long time. It felt natural,” Eddie fell back on his bed, starfishing so his arm and leg hit Gareth’s legs.
“Dude, I’m not discouraging it. I’m happy for you. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if it isn’t as easy when you meet,” Gareth said softly.
“Yeah, thanks. I think it’ll be okay, though.”
“Alright. Tell babcia I’m coming by tomorrow for lunch.”
Eddie sat up and gave Gareth a quick hug.
“Thanks Gare Bear!”
—-------------------------------------------
He arrived 20 minutes early so he could sneak in the back to say hi to Gareth’s grandmother, who still insisted on getting her hands on the food every day for a couple of hours despite being nearly 80 years old.
“Babcia!”
“Eddie! My kochany! You forget to visit and I forget what you look like!” she rushed over, flour and oil stains all over her apron.
He should have kept some distance so his shirt didn’t get ruined, but he ignored the part of his brain telling him to look perfect for his date so he could get a hug.
“You know I have to watch my money,” he said against her shoulder.
“And you know I feed you for free if you clean up after yourself. No excuse,” she pulled away and looked him over. “You look handsome. Why?”
Eddie put his hands on his hips.
“What? Don’t I always look handsome?”
“Of course, but this is different. Your hair is smooth and you smell like the perfume store,” she smirked. “Is it a girl? Or a boy? Or a someone?”
“It’s a boy. We’ve never met in person, so I wanted to make a good first impression,” he admitted.
“Oh! How lovely! What’s his name?” She was back to kneading dough, but kept her eyes on him.
“Steve. He actually has been here before, loves the devolay?”
Babcia froze.
“Steve? Oh goodness.” She turned to the sink and washed her hands, muttering under her breath about something.
Eddie’s heart sank. Babcia didn’t seem happy about this.
“What’s wrong? You know him?”
“Oh, yes.”
“Is he not a good guy? Has he been mean to you? I’ll call and cancel right now,” he insisted, reaching for his phone in his pocket.
“No, no. Nothing like that. He is a very sweet boy. He got broken up with in this restaurant a few months back. Tore me to pieces. He just sat here for hours crying. I moved him to a corner booth for his privacy and he left me a $100 tip and ever since then when he comes in I make sure to give him as many szarlotka as he wants.” She touched Eddie’s shoulder. “You be good to him. He has a nice heart.”
Eddie’s mind raced.
Why had Steve agreed to come here for a date if this is where he’d been broken up with? Why did he even bother coming back if it held such bad memories?
What if he didn’t see this as a date?
The front door chimed and he heard the employee at the front welcome someone.
“He will be good for you, drogi.”
Eddie nodded before making his way to the front, stopping in his tracks when he saw the most beautiful man he’d ever seen standing at the podium, talking to the employee with a smile.
“That’s him,” Babcia said from behind him. “Go get him.”
She shoved him forward, nearly making him trip, which caught the attention of Steve.
He looked over with a curious smile, and then realization seemed to hit him.
“Steve?” Eddie managed to ask, loud enough to be heard over the few full tables in the restaurant.
“Eddie?” he asked back, hesitantly moving towards him.
“I, um,” Eddie started, then cleared his throat. “I usually sit by the window, if that’s okay?”
“That’s perfect,” Steve nodded.
It was cliche, like the room around them closed into just them existing together, like the stars had aligned exactly right for this moment to happen.
They sat down at the table Eddie usually sat at, staring across the table at each other in slight awe.
Eddie really hoped that Steve was having the same feelings he was.
But one thing was stopping Eddie from being completely enraptured.
“Is this a date?” he asked suddenly.
“What?” Steve seemed surprised by his question. “I mean, yeah. I’d like it to be. I thought it was.”
Eddie nodded once, but remained quiet, thinking.
“Oh God, it wasn’t, was it? You were just being nice. What is it with this restaurant? If I didn’t love the food so much or babcia, I would never step foot here again, I swear-”
Eddie put his hand on Steve’s to calm him down, frown on his face.
“Woah. What?”
“I just. I don’t have the best history with dates here and I guess I didn’t learn the first time something bad happened, and now I’m being too much too fast again in this place and-”
Eddie pulled Steve’s hand up to his face, placing a soft kiss to his knuckles.
“Stevie, calm down. This is a date. I’ll have as many dates here as you want to to get rid of whatever negative stuff you associate with this place. Babcia would hate that I ruined this place for you,” he said quietly.
Steve seemed to relax at his words.
And if you wanna tell me about what happened, you can. If it’ll help,” Eddie offered.
Before Steve could reply, Gareth’s cousin, Ben, came to take their order.
It was a quick order, both knowing exactly what they wanted, and then Steve looked back at him.
“It’s just. My last girlfriend, who I was with for almost three years, dumped me here. It was kind of out of the blue for me, and I had a really hard time that night.”
Eddie felt his heart break.
How could someone do that to Steve? He didn’t need to know him better to know that he didn’t deserve that, especially not if babcia had taken him under her wing so quickly.
“She must be awful to have let you go like that,” Eddie squeezed Steve’s hand in his, resisting the urge to go to his side of the table and hold him.
Steve shrugged and looked down at their hands.
“I mean, I should have known. She was never much for romance or spending time together that didn’t involve work or school. I was looking at engagement rings and she was looking at apartments to get away from me. I was just…really blinded by what I thought was love,” Steve smiled sadly at him.
“It wasn’t?”
“Well, it may have been a type of love. It was more comfort than anything. She was kind of all I had for the first year we were together, and I think I just ignored how unhealthy that was for both of us. And then I met Robin in college, and she was like the opposite of Nancy in every way. A few months before Nancy broke up with me, I told her that Robin’s parents kicked her out when she came out to them and that she needed a place to stay until we graduated. She agreed, then never made any attempt at getting to know her. And I didn’t read into it, Nancy isn’t like, super talkative with people she isn’t already close with, and Robin just kinda stayed to herself when Nancy was home.” Steve took a shaky breath. “But it turns out she didn’t bother getting to know her because she already knew she was gonna break up with me and leave the apartment to me and Robin, so.she just. Didn’t bother. Robin warned me, but I didn’t listen.”
Eddie wanted to cry.
Steve’s voice was full of pain, but not in a way that told him he still loved her, or still hoped they would get back together. More that she broke a part of him that he still hadn’t been able to fix no matter how hard he tried or wanted to.
“Was she jealous?” Eddie asked, trying so hard to understand what could have happened.
“I dunno. I mean, Robin’s a lesbian, and I definitely never had feelings for her anyway. Nancy was always so sure of herself, I can’t imagine she’d be jealous.”
“It sounds like she didn’t appreciate you very much.”
“What do you mean?” Steve didn’t sound mad, just curious.
“Well, she didn’t even make an effort to get to know your best friend, right? And it sounds like she was too busy focusing on her future to even think about what you looked like in it, and instead of trying to plan it with you, she made a future for her. She sounds a bit selfish,” Eddie shrugged.
Instead of being upset, Steve laughed.
God, Eddie loved that laugh.
“Sorry, it’s just that you sound exactly like Robin. You’d probably be two peas in a pod.”
“Tell me about her,” Eddie genuinely wanted to know more about the person who kept Steve going.
Their food arrived in the middle of the story of how Steve and Robin met, but it didn’t stop him from continuing.
Eddie listened with a fond smile, filling in Steve’s gaps of silence as he chewed a bite of food with questions or something related to what he’d been talking about.
It was easy.
It was fun.
Halfway through the meal, Steve’s foot rested against one of his and it felt like electricity shooting through his bones.
Eddie told him about Gareth, and his family who had pretty much adopted him when they both moved here from a small town in Indiana. He talked about his uncle who raised him for most of his life, who visited every Christmas despite being on a really tight budget.
Time passed quickly, but not at all.
They hadn’t realized how long they’d been sitting there until babcia came out without her apron to hand deliver an apple tart.
“You boys enjoy. I’ll see you both soon!” she said as she smacked a kiss on top of each of their heads.
Both of them blushed, but tried to cover it up with a bite of food.
As they finished, Steve looked outside to see how dark it was, how few people were left walking the streets.
“Guess we should head out,” he muttered, sounding like that was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Would you wanna come to my place? We don’t have to do anything except talk, I promise. I just don’t really want this to end yet,” Eddie suggested.
“Really? I haven’t bored you?” Steve asked, just a hint of self-deprecation in his tone.
Eddie shook his head.
“Not at all. I’d really like to get a chance to love you the way you deserve,” Eddie said.
Steve’s eyes widened.
Eddie should back up, should say something less intense.
But if this ruined it, then at least he said what he was thinking.
“You think you could love me?” Steve asked, barely more than a whisper.
“I think I already do a little,” Eddie admitted.
Steve blinked at him for a moment, mouth slightly agape.
“I need to kiss you,” he finally said.
“Now? Here?” Eddie smiled.
“Now. Here.”
“I won’t stop you.”
Steve stood from the table and stood in front of Eddie, placing both hands on his cheeks and leaning down.
Their lips brushed in a barely-there kiss, softer than Eddie expected.
Steve stayed there for a moment, eyes closed, and Eddie couldn’t help the words tumbling from him.
“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
If someone had said it to him, he would think they were just trying to get him into their bed, but that wasn’t the case here and he hoped Steve knew that.
“People used to call me a charmer, but I don’t think I’m half as good at it as you,” Steve whispered, his breath ghosting against Eddie’s lips.
“Just honest.”
“Take me home,” Steve said, opening his eyes and staring at Eddie, his eyes glowing with something close to love.
—-------------------------------------
They stayed up all night, never doing more than kissing and mapping out patterns on each others’ skin.
They talked about everything, even the painful parts of life, even the parts that they hadn’t shared with anyone else.
It didn’t make any sense that someone who had been a stranger not even 24 hours ago could already mean so much.
When the sun started to shine through the curtains of Eddie’s apartment, Steve sighed and buried his face in Eddie’s neck.
“I have to go to work,” though he burrowed his entire body further into the bed and Eddie’s side.
“You could call in sick,” Eddie suggested, pressing a kiss to the top of Steve’s head.
“Robin would kill me.”
He and Robin worked together as team teachers at an elementary school. When one of them missed, it left the other with 34 kids alone.
Plus, Steve loved his job, worked hard to be a teacher, and hated missing a day if he didn’t need to.
“Maybe you could bring Robin here after work? I can make dinner?” Eddie’s job was pretty easy, marketing for an Indie record label based out of New York remotely really kept him busy for a couple hours a day and the rest of the time was spent writing his own music.
Steve sat up and looked down at him, his hair ruffled from Eddie running his fingers through it for the last eight hours.
“You’d wanna meet Robin?”
“Yeah, if you want me to. She sounds like fun.”
Steve started crying.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry. Good job, Munson, already ruined something good,” Eddie was reaching for a tissue from his bedside table.
“No, no, I’m sorry. I’m just tired and emotional. And just. It means a lot that you’d wanna meet her,” Steve said between gasps for air as he continued to cry.
“Of course I do. I could even invite Gareth over, too, if you want. He won’t believe that our date went well,” Eddie joked, brushing the tears away from Steve’s cheeks.
“I’d love to meet him,” Steve said, sniffling.
“When can you guys get here?”
“Usually we’re done by four, but sometimes we stay later to finish grading stuff. Maybe we should say six?”
“Got it. Any allergies?”
“Robin is allergic to shellfish. She says she is. I think she just doesn’t like them,” Steve rolled his eyes.
“No shellfish, got it. Any preferences, my love?”
Steve blushed at the term of endearment, looking down before he leaned in to kiss Eddie softly.
“Anything you make will be great.”
“You wanna borrow some clothes for work?” Eddie asked.
“Do you have any business casual stuff?”
Eddie gagged.
“Unfortunately, it’s required for the job sometimes. Far left of the closet should have something,” he nodded towards the small closet by the bathroom.
Eddie watched as Steve walked over and picked out his only pair of khaki pants and a navy button down. Steve looked back at him and winked before he nodded towards the bathroom.
“Could use some help working the shower if you’re willing to,” he smirked.
Eddie jumped up from the bed and ran into the bathroom, ignoring the way Steve was laughing.
“The hot water is tricky sometimes. I should probably get in there too to make sure it stays hot,” Eddie said as he stripped off his pants.
“Definitely. Wouldn’t want me to get cold,” Steve put a hand on his shoulder to slow him down. “Kiss me?”
Eddie leaned in to kiss him slowly, letting his tongue brush along his lips just to get a taste.
“Okay?” Eddie checked in.
“Yeah. You remember what you said last night? About loving me like I deserve?”
Eddie nodded.
“I want you to. And I want to love you back.”
“I think we can arrange that.”
801 notes · View notes
girlboybug · 1 year
Text
Ultraviolence
"he hit me and it felt like a kiss."
or the one where ellie finds refuge in your farm house, whereas joel only finds a challenge of self restraint when he meets you.
what’s playing 🎧 : ultraviolence by lana del rey
pairing : joel miller x female!reader
word count : 9k
CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUT, mean!joel, virgin!reader, loss of virginity, manhandling, rough sex, spitting, slight voyeurism if you squint, f!masturbation, m!masturbation, spanking, fingering, slight dom/sub dynamics, panties fetish, creampies, unprotected sex, breeding kink, light restraining, choking, tummy bulge, impact play if u kinda squint and tilt ur head, degrading, light praise, daddy kink im sorry yall (not rlly), unspecified age gap, dirty talk, fluff for 2 seconds at the end :p
TRIGGER WARNINGS : reader has emotionally absent/verbally abusive dad, takes place after the david incident but there's zero mention of it lolz just background for yall, joel is mean and rude tbh, kinda very toxic but im addicted to old toxic men sowwy (plz dont ever let a man treat yall like this irl!!) anyways this is all i can think of, lmk if i missed anything! otherwise pls enjoy!! <3
a/n : wouldn't be a fic written by user girlboybug if the reader didn't have raging daddy issues lolz
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there’s creaking at the front patio, the old wood worn down by countless stomps from your boots never failed to act as an alerting system for any trespassers. your heart sinks when you force yourself to get up, the responsibility to inspect the origins of the noise falling on your shoulders alone. 
yippie. 
your hand finds its hold around the neck of your dad’s shotgun, sock covered feet waiting a pregnant pause at your door, swallowing down the brunt of your nerves thickly. you inch out the door, holding the shotgun as steady as you can, eyes fighting to not fail you by succumbing to the night blur that glazes over your vision. 
your sights land on a figure of a man, anxiety hitting you with the heel of its fist into your nervous system once his silhouette becomes clear before you. you pointedly aim at him, praying that the act seems intimidating enough. “you’re trespassin’” you call out, prompting him to raise his hands beside his head, keeping his movements slow and careful as to not give you a reason to shoot. 
“just lookin for shelter ma’am,” he replies, his voice feels deep when it hits your ears, not stopping short of rich. “not buyin’ it. now i’m not gonna repeat myself, leave before i blow your goddamn head off,” you shoot your threats in the place of bullets, but your tone gives out on you, giving in to your fear, cracking in on itself mid sentence. 
a young girl moves from behind him, her hands also beside her head. “ellie,” he whisper yells, trying to move back in front of her. your hard glare falls into a guilty gaze, and your shotgun falters downward. “thought i told you to stay behind me–” she cuts him off, probably causing a vein on the side of his temple to burst with stress when she moves in front of him to speak. 
“we’re just looking for somewhere to stay for the night, and we’ll be out of your hair by morning. we promise.” the now named girl swears, looking at the man that dwarfs her in size for extra confirmation. “promise her joel,” she hushedly instructs and he huffs, looking back at you. “promise.” he adds gruffly. 
they look like father and daughter, and you don’t have it in you to turn them away, and despite the possibility that lingers in the back of your mind that this is all a ploy to rob you blind, you settle on the fact that it’s worth the risk to let them in. 
your shotgun rests beside you, no longer using it as a shield from the fear of an impending threat. “okay,” you verbally decide, and ellie lets out a sigh of relief, leaning into joel. he holds onto her with a sense of care, of protection, and your heart pangs at the sight as they climb up onto the patio. 
your lips drop open unintentionally when the man that now has a name and a face to go along with it, stands before you. 
he’s tall, he’s handsome, much older than both you and the girl. “thank you ma’am,” he says, a curt nod from the top of his head, and ellie offers a small smile, joining in his nod. “thank you,” she whispers, and you smile back, moving to the side to let them in. 
immediate comfort envelopes the pair, a quiet breath of it being expelled from them, and you close the door behind you, locking it to make sure that the warmth from inside doesn’t morph into the frigid wind outside. 
“there anyone else with you?” joel questions, unintendedly sending a worried alert in your mind, your body language showing a visible uncomfortableness at the question. 
ellie notices, nudging joel with her elbow. “dude?” she mouths, eyebrows furrowed, silently asking, what the fuck? 
you find yourself trusting her more than you do him, which is just enough of an amount to get you to believe he doesn't mean to sound as sketchy as he comes across. “just me and my dad. he’s asleep upstairs,” you respond, and joel looks back at you, pursing his lips, nodding. 
“i’ll show you where you guys can sleep, and i can even get you a change of clothes.” you say, flickering between the two of them before turning on your heel. they trail behind you quietly while you lead them to their temporary rooms. 
walking up the stairs, and past the stretch of the hallway, you stop at one of the spare rooms, pushing open the door. “there’s this one, and then,” you lean over, pushing open a door to the room just beside it. “this one. up to you guys to decide whoever gets which,” you send them off with a nervous smile, rubbing your palms over your pajama bottoms. 
“thank you,” ellie calls out, lowering her voice but keeping it at an octave audible enough for you to hear. you turn back, smiling at the young girl before going into your bedroom. you grab a pair of pajamas for the pair, trying to be quick so as to not keep them waiting. 
you return to them, finding them both in the same room, sitting at the side of the bed. ellie’s head is leant against joel’s arm, his stare resting over her. the pang hits you again, but you push past it, gently tapping your knuckles over the door. his stare moves from her to you. 
“these are for her, and here’re some of my dad’s old clothes for you. they should fit, but if not you can uh, let me know and i’ll find something else for you.” you set them down beside him, and he nods, a tight lipped inch of a curl over his mouth spreads just slightly, acknowledging your actions.
“these should be fine,” he places a hand over the folded clothes, where your’s was and you find yourself swallowing hard again. his hand is big. 
“alright, well goodnight.” you wish kindly, making your way out the door, nodding a polite bidding. “night,” he responds, traces of southerness apparent in his vowels. “thank you,” he makes sure to say before you leave.
for everything he wants to add, but he doesn’t, which is okay, you can hear it through the crickets and the quiet peacefulness that passes through the room. 
you leave him with an equally hushed response of no problem, the door closing behind you at the curt ending of your reply. 
your eyes snap wide open, a low wince falling out at the sting from the rude awakening your body is being subjected to. your name rings as a harsh echo, and you’re quick to your feet, remembering the girl and the man staying in your home, unbeknownst to your dad. “shit,” you groan, hurriedly rushing across the hallway and down the stairs. 
and there was your father, loud, angry, and yelling at…joel? if you remembered his name correctly. “who the fuck are these people and why are they tellin’ me you let them in last night?” he all but shouts, and you feel small, humiliated.
“i did, i’m sorry, they don’t mean any harm, they just needed a place to stay for the night.” you answer meekly, and joel’s fists tighten, every fiber of his being wanting nothing more than to plummet his fists into the side of your dad’s jaw. 
“lord,” he exhales, shutting his eyes and pinching his nose bridge. he walks towards you, a finger pointed at your face when he speaks. 
“if they wanna stay they better make themselves useful, if not, i want them out my goddamn house in 5 minutes.” he snipes irritatedly, eyeing you down with annoyance, making sure you saw the seriousness in his face before he leaves, trudging out the front door. ellie watches with sympathetic eyes as you flinch when he slams the door shut.
it’s quiet for longer than you’d like for it to be, but you’re unsure of what to say after being belittled in front of people who are virtually strangers.
“what a dick,” ellie exhales and joel looks at her, eyes wide, lips tight with chastising ready to be released. “ellie!” he chides and she raises her arms in disgruntled defense. “what? he is!” 
you laugh, and they turn to you surprisedly. “yeah, he is. i’m sorry about that.” you sigh, and joel shakes his head. “no, we’re sorry, we didn’t mean to impose and cause you all that trouble.” he apologizes, genuineness in his softened tone, a pane of his thick drawl behind it, and it soothes away the feeling your dad left you with. 
“it’s alright, it’s just how he is,” you say, attempting to pacify their concerns, but ellie, blows out a quiet breath, eyes slightly wider when she tilts her head side to side. “massive asshole,” she mutters, and you giggle before joel can chide her once more. she smiles at your laughter, and joel just sighs his 100th sigh. 
“you guys can sit, he’ll be gone for most of the day. i can make some breakfast before you have to go?” you offer, motioning towards the dining table, desperate to move past this topic. “mighty gracious of you, but we should get goin,” joel inadvertently rejects your offers, and you frown. 
ellie turns to him, a hopeful stare chipping away at his decision. “dude please, there’s only so much chef boyardee i can take.”
you stifle a laugh at her pleading, tying an apron around your waist. 
“fine.” he sighs, and ellie whispers a successful yes!
as time went by, you grew closer to ellie, but almost as a trade off, it seemed as though joel drifted further and further from you, leaving you with no idea as to why. 
you’ve been nothing but kind to him, and the more you tried to do…well, anything, it only pushed him away instead of bringing him in closer. 
granted, you did do things that prompt some kind of annoyed response from joel, like right now, as joel stands in the bathroom, his eyes falling to your discarded panties on the ground. 
he marches out the bathroom, searching for you. “ellie, where’s the girl?” he asks, and she can hear the irritation building in the base of his voice. “uh, outside, she’s picking some fruit, why?” she queries, turning around from her seated position on the couch to face him.
he strides towards the door, eyes glaring straight ahead. “no reason.” he replies sardonically, and ellie rolls her eyes, flipping back on the couch. 
your dad had gone into the next town over to collect more supplies, do some more trading and other various things, but you didn’t care, he’s gone for the time being, and you’re happy, at ease, with more time to look after your garden and spend time leisurely picking at the fruits that hang from the trees above you. 
you’re resting on your knees, overalls rolled up to your thighs, bandana covering your hairline, nimble fingers plucking at the strawberries from the array of bushes. the rays of sunlight blanketing over your skin suddenly vanishes, and you turn, hand over your forehead when you look up at joel. 
“oh hi joel! strawberry?” you chirp, offering a plump strawberry, and he exhales through his nose, eyes raking over you. 
you have a habit of almost never wearing bra’s, and you just about live in overalls and shorts, always accompanied by some tight fitted top. 
god, you make his life so hard. 
little pink ribbons are tied over the top strap buckles of your overalls, and you look so adorable that it almost makes him angry. 
“no, thanks, look, i know it was your bathroom before it was mine, but for the love of god, please stop leavin’ your…undergarments on the floor.” the subtle twang increases just a notch at the way he rattles about your sightly panties. 
your face gets hotter than it was from the sun and you drop your arm, looking away embarrassedly. “oh my god how embarrassing, i’m so sorry, i’m just not used to sharing my bathroom, but that’s not an excuse, i’ll take care of them, i’m sorry joel,” voice pretty and soft, just like you, and he sighs, staring at you for a thick standstill, before going back into the house. “messy girl,” he mutters to himself. 
he finds his way back into the bathroom, eyeing the suspect in question, feeling the strings in his chest pull in tight. he picks up the pair with a curl of his finger, eyeing it like a foreign object. 
he clenches down on his teeth when he stares at it, the pink striped cotton is soft, a little bow adorning the front of it. 
he feels dizzy. 
he honestly considers pocketing them, but immediate disgust kicks in and he drops them, walking out. 
dirty old man. 
you are inescapable, easily running joel’s patience down into the dirt beneath his boot. your dad is still gone, but joel and ellie listened when he said to be useful. 
they help you around the house, almost doin ’more than you, joel would grumble, but no matter how much he busied himself with chores, there was hints of you in everything. 
when he’s feeding the chickens or collecting their eggs, he can look not too far out and see the clothesline where you air dry their laundry, not a single thought about letting your bra’s hang from the wire, taunting joel. 
he imagines you in it, the racy little red number, nipples perked behind the flimsy material, shoulder’s beckoning to slide the straps down.
“shit,” he grunts, looking down and seeing the smashed egg in his fist, squeezed to pieces from the intensity of his perverse thoughts.
sometimes he thinks you do this shit on purpose, mocking an old man with something you would never give him, and he feels like banging his head into the wall. 
and in this moment he feels it’d be an especially good time to do so, exhaling sharply from his flared nostrils while he searches around for you, calling out your name, only to be met with no reply. he can’t find ellie either and he’s panicking, he’s panicking bad. 
he shouts your name from the very depths of his stomach, and he pushes every door he sees open until he stops at your bedroom door, pushing inside and growling with anger when he sees you laid upside down in your bed, hands resting on your tummy with thick headphones clamped over your ears. 
he stalks towards you, bending down and ripping your headphones straight off your head. your eyes snap open and you jerk upwards from the bed, clambering off the bed in the most unflattering way possible, rushing to get to your feet. 
“joel what the hell? what’s going on?” you ask, and he scoffs, mad that you have the audacity to be annoyed here. 
“where the fuck is ellie?” he grits out, and you sigh, snatching back your headphones when you answer. “she’s in the stable with my horse, she’s fine joel.” you promise, and he squints his eyes, shaking his head frustratedly. 
“y’can’t just send her off somewhere on her own like that and not even think to tell me, and – dammit, don’t wear those goddamned headphones when i’m callin for you, god you are so irresponsible,” he rants, his voice trailing up a ledge of loud anger, and it’s your turn to get mad. 
“okay joel, you need to stop fucking yelling at me, she’s still on the damn property, she isn’t gone in the next town over, i’d never put her in a situation where she could get hurt and secondly, you don’t get to talk to me like that and tell me what i can and can’t do in my own house.” you’re in his face now, making an effort to stand up for yourself, but joel isn’t tolerating any of it. 
“you listen here little girl and you listen good,” he moves in closer, and you suddenly feel overly aware of his proximity, almost immediately backing down to move away, but no, you wanted to talk back like a big girl, you’re going to face the consequences of one. 
“you best lose that nasty fuckin’ attitude of your’s, i don’t care if this is your house or not, it ain’t an excuse to act like a goddamned thoughtless brat.” he’s breathing heavier now, his face too close to your’s, chest dangerously nearing your own. 
your eyes nictate back and forth in his, desperately suppressing the tears that imperil at your waterline, biting on your bottom lip to stop it from wobbling. “you’re such an asshole,” is all you can manage to fire back through a weak excuse of a response. 
he scoffs at you, stepping back before marching out your room. “no shit sweetheart,” he sneers with a lowered baseline of exasperation. 
you fall back on your bed when he’s gone and out of earshot, holding your face in your hands, allowing yourself to let out the tears that almost spilled out in front of joel. 
your fists wipe the tears away, angry that they were even there, each stream down your cheek is a reminder of who caused them. 
refusing to give in to the pain that gnaws at your chest from his spewing anger, you get up, walking out your room, deciding to make your way around back to the stables. 
ellie was saddled over applejack, your only horse, with joel sitting behind her, his arms wrapped around her, keeping her steady, keeping her safe. 
the gnawing bites down harder inside your chest, and you’re unable to fight against it. instead you cradle yourself, comforting the ache while leaning against the bulk of the tree behind you, watching them interact. 
his gaze over her is so soft, so full of care, of love, and he’s laughing, which enables her laughter, and you find yourself smiling as you watch them despite what had just transpired. 
you watch as ellie plops the cowboy hat you had left on applejack’s saddle over his head, and your back gets stiff against the bark of the tree when she does. 
he fixes the hat atop his head, and it annoyingly suits him well. 
he looks like a proper cowboy.
your eyes drift down to the way his hips roll with each trot from applejack, his back leant naturally, looking relaxed, confident, like he knows what he’s doing, and that he knows he does it well. 
his hand runs over the side of applejack lovingly, his strong hand smoothing over her coat, and you feel like crumbling down into the soil of the earth, breathing in a little harder when you imagine those rough, strong hands of his on your skin instead. 
you reach up, pulling a peach from the tree above your head, settling down to sit and just watch the two gallop along with applejack. 
joel’s eyes find you, they always do, and almost like she just knew, ellie decides to lead applejack back over to where you are. joel’s hands tighten over the reins, jaw clenching when they make their way over to you.
“well hi there sweet girl,” you coo, petting applejack when she bends her neck downward, greeting you happily. 
you bite down into your peach, laughing quietly to yourself when the juice spills down your cleavage. joel follows the way the juice rolls down your chest, disappearing behind the pesky coverage of your tank top, and he feels like it's a punishment for his previous yelling. 
you hand the rest of the peach into applejack’s mouth, cooing an, aww there you go sweet girl. 
“damn these look good.” ellie whistles, reaching up to pluck a peach down. 
she drops it, and she groans when it hits the ground. “i got it, don’t worry!” you remedy, turning around to bend down and grab it for her. joel feels like dying when he sees the heart curve of your ass, it’s almost too perfect, and he wonders if this is how his heart finally gives out. 
kinda looks like a peach… he thinks to himself, eyes tracing over the form of your ass for as long as he can before you’re turning back to face them. 
you go up on your tippy toes, quickly grabbing another peach, handing the new one to ellie and tossing the one that fell over to joel. 
“you get that one,” you half tease, half huff, and ellie laughs, waving her clean peach at joel. his eyes settle on you while you talk to ellie, ignoring his presence. 
his teeth sinks down into the peach, his stare trickling over the way you’re squeezed into those stupid fucking tiny shorts, and he thinks about a different type of flesh to bite into. 
– 
nighttime visits your household once more, but it’s anything but peaceful for you and joel. 
ellie knocked out as soon as she collapsed in her bed, but joel’s wide awake. he wants to sleep, wants to forget this day even happened, but he can’t. he replays everything despite his efforts to pretend that the events from today didn’t even occur. 
however, guilt drags its spindly fingers across the muscle of his heart while flashes of his loud anger directed at you forces itself to be acknowledged behind his eyelids. with a disgruntled huff he rips the blankets off his body, climbing out of bed. 
he pushes past the door, making his way to your room to apologize for his harshness. 
the closer he gets to your room, the more he hears a concerning sound gently echoing from behind the door. his brows fly up and he grips at your doorknob, turning it. his knuckles tighten over the knob, his body standing still and stiff in the cracked entrance when he sees you. 
you’re sprawled in your bed, sheets hanging off you, covering not a single thing, leaving joel to wonder if what he’s looking at is real or not, and if it is, should he even be looking at you like this?
he knows the answer to that, it's a big fat resounding no, but joel doesn’t exactly have the purest morals of all time, so he stays in spite of his conscience telling him to close the door. 
he watches your head roll side to side tirelessly, back arching off the bed, bucking your hips into your hand, struggling to pleasure yourself the way you need. your fingers keep sliding off your poor clit, too soaked to keep a good grip on it. 
it sounds sticky, even from where joel stands, it’s all so fucking dirty, your sweet little whimpers going straight to his cock, pushing up against his sweatpants that already hang low off his hips. 
he palms at himself, trying to alleviate the throbbing ache. his eyes follow the curve of your bare chest, your tight tank top under your chin, pretty tits in the air, hard nipples that are begging to be in joel’s mouth. 
you whine to yourself, eyes watering with frustration when your fingers refuse to stay put on your needy clit, trying to instead fill your fluttering hole that clenches around nothing.
joel’s fingernails dig into the doorframe, physically restraining himself from going in there and shoving himself so far into you that it hits your cervix, stretching you nice and open for him. 
he thinks about how he’d make you take it, how you’d claw down his back while he fucks you like you deserve. 
he feels disgusting, like a goddamn pervert, but he again wins the battle against any morals he has left and stays to watch. you sound so wet its fucking ridiculous, he just wants to lap it all up on his tongue and drink you in. 
but what he really wants, is to make you beg, to make you cry. 
you further test his will, when his name floats from your trembling lips, his jaw going slack at the unreal moan. his hand falls to his straining cock, squeezing it, silently pleading with you to be good and say it one more time for him, to confirm he heard you right. 
and you do, you whimper his name, an airy little, joel, while grinding down on your finger, trying to angle your hips to hit a spot you hardly ever have success in satiating. 
good girl, he grits without a sound, his thumb brushing over the tip of his cock. 
you think back to him yelling at you, ignoring the pain of the memory, and instead rewriting how the fight ended. your brain conjures up an alternate ending, where he bends you over the foot of your bed, smacking his hand over the fat of your ass before he rams himself inside you. 
you think about his back curling over yours, his cock too deep inside you, muttering for you to fuckin’ take it. 
he’d have his face in the crook of your neck, his beard would tickle your skin while the dirtiest words you can think of would be listed off in your ear. 
his beard, your hips rise in the air desperately, your mind now imagining his stubble between your thighs, how his mustache would brush over your clit until it’s raw. “please, want it joel, want it so bad,” you moan to yourself in a pleading fluttery little voice, and joel almost steps forward at your begging.
i’ll give it you, he promises to himself, wishing he could tell you instead.
he can’t fucking take it, he drinks in the bare sight of you once more, memorizing each curve, the way your voice trembles, the way your legs shake, the plump of your thighs and chest, and fuck, he thinks he’ll pass out before he can even make it back to his room. 
he carefully closes the door, striding hurriedly back to his bed. he shuts his door, making an immediate dash to his awaiting mattress. 
he pulls the blanket over his hips, tugging down his sweatpants and letting his cock spring up. he uses his precum as lube, too impatient to spit in his hand. he fists at his fat cock, pushing past the roughness from his palm, pretending that it’s your soft hand wrapped around him. 
he thinks back to what he just saw, imagining that he did step inside, closing the door behind him before making his way to you. 
you’d probably get scared at the sudden sight of him in front of you, but he imagines that you’d be too desperate to care about his actions. 
you’d grab his wrist, bringing his hand to your poor little cunt. “touch me, please joel?” you’d plead with those watery eyes of yours, and he would, he’d touch you until you couldn’t take it. 
but he’d make you take it, he’d stretch you out on his fingers before he’d get his cock in you. he can only fantasize about how good your tight little cunt would feel all around him, how snug you’d be, gripping him in, but no matter how hard he tries to pretend, he knows his imagination does your pussy no justice to how good it’d actually be. 
he starts fucking his hand, head falling back into his pillow, his bicep’s flexing with straint while he goes to squeeze his cockhead, traveling back down to his shaft, struggling to please every inch of himself. 
he wonders if you’re a virgin, wonders if anyones gotten to see you like how he did, or did they get to experience it themselves?  
he gets jealous at the thought, but he erases it, instead thinking of the possibility of no one ever getting to touch you but him. 
yeah, he likes that, he likes thinking about being the first and last cock you’ll ever have deep inside you. shit, he growls, thumbing over his leaking tip, he’s close. 
he starts panting, chest falling more rapidly with heavy breaths, his hand working over himself faster now, the slick from his pumping fist around his cock is embarrassingly loud, but he uses it and pretends it’s the sound of him in your pussy, and that does it for him. 
he cums in his fist, slowly thrusting into the tunnel of his hand before he releases himself, and he groans, letting his body sink deeper into his bed. 
fuckin’ disgustin’ he mutters to himself. 
he can barely look at you the next morning, he feels hot all over when you so much as walk past him, your scent always trailing behind you and filling his senses. 
you smell like the sweetest form of vanilla and it makes him unstable, feeling like he’s gotta hold onto something to remain upright when you’re near him. 
you make your own soap, and, of course you make your own fuckin’ soap, he thinks to himself, growing weaker by the second when you talk about how you used vanilla beans in your recipe for soap. 
you offer to make some for him, but he declines as politely as he can, finding any excuse to establish some space. he can’t be near you, not now, and not later, he needs time to remind himself what self control is. 
he decides to chop some firewood, the nights are getting colder and colder anyways, and he thinks this’ll be a good distraction for him. 
he pours all his frustration into it, swinging the axe from behind his shoulder and down into the blocks of wood, chopping them up into logs.
sweat lines his forehead, his biceps bulging from the tight constraints of his rolled up flannel, and you watch from the window, staring at him as he leans back, taking in a few deep breaths while he wipes his forehead before continuing. 
you swish your thighs together, walking away when you realize if you don’t move now, you’ll stay the rest of the day just watching him. 
-
after a few hours outside, joel is beat, he thinks he deserves a break. he trudges back inside, sighing when he’s greeted with the fresh air conditioned breeze. 
your legs hang off the arm of the couch, head resting on a cushion and buried in a magazine. 
he eyes your legs while he walks into the bathroom, almost unable to tear away from them. but when he walks through the door, he closes his eyes immediately once they land on the ground, as if the sight before him physically hurts. 
he exhales with aggravation when he sees your white cotton panties on the floor, and your cream lacy bra hanging off the towel rack, mocking him. 
he’s had enough. 
he stomps out the bathroom, and you brace yourself for the latest lecture when you hear the nearing ruckus of his boots connecting to the wood floors. 
he yells your name, his voice curling around the curve of an upward rage. “what joel,” you yell back mockingly, he stands above you, looking furiously down at you.
“what did i tell you about your goddamn panties and bra in the fuckin’ bathroom,” he shouts, jabbing his thumb back towards the bathroom. you huff, swinging your legs from the arm of the couch, rising to your feet. “i’m sorry!” you throw your arms up annoyedly. 
“i’ll get ‘em, i understand it’s annoying but joel you don’t need to yell over every. fuckin’. thing, you can talk to me like a normal person,” you contradict your own words, pointing a finger at him while you shout back. 
he grabs your finger, pulling your wrist down and away from his face, beaming anger glinting in his eyes. 
“thought i told you to get rid of that nasty fuckin’ attitude little girl,” he spits, words hanging in the air like a venomous gas, and you all but growl with irritation. 
“i’m not a little girl and you’re not my dad, y’don’t get to talk to me like that you fucking dick,” you bark back, feeling a sudden fear when you see the way he’s looking at you. 
his top lip curls with disdain, and he nods slightly to himself, like he’s just mentally made his decision. 
he grabs you by your upper arm, dragging you along with him back around to the couch. “let me go,” you try pulling your arm from him, but it does nothing, his grip is stronger than your efforts. 
he sits down, pulling you into his lap, grabbing you roughly and repositioning you so your tummy rests over his thighs. “what are you doin–” he holds your jaw, forcing you to crane your neck to face him.
“i’m gettin’ real sick of your fuckin’ back talk, you say you’re not a little girl yet all you do is act like one, a real rude one at that,” he grits in your face, and you feel small, wishing the couch would just swallow you whole. 
“i ain’t your dad but you need some serious fuckin’ discipline,” he lets go of your jaw, letting you fall back into the cushion. he unhooks your overalls, pulling them down and under your ass. 
he exhales lowly when he sees the hypnotic curve of your ass, clad in baby blue polka dotted underwear, it’s too cute that it makes him sick. 
he doesn’t even think when his hand runs over your ass, smoothing over your skin, squeezing the thick flesh in his large palms. you whimper under your breath, squirming in his hold. “stay still,” he orders, his tone cold, riding on a mean line of pointed annoyance. 
“you’re gonna say you’re sorry with every one of ‘em, you hear me girl?” he asks, resting his hand on your ass testingly. 
you nod quietly, but it isn’t good enough, he’s grabbing your face again, forcing eye contact. “when i ask you a question you answer.” he sneers, teeth baring for a second and you squeeze your thighs together, feeling your clit ache embarrassingly from the harsh treatment. 
“i hear you.” you reply meekly, and it suffices, because he’s letting go of your jaw, refocusing on the new task he has at hand, or rather, in his lap. 
he rests his palm over one cheek, causing you to suck in a sharp breath, the warmth from his hand tingling your skin. 
your clit is right up against his knee, and you want more than anything to rut on it, roll your hips to gain any kind of friction, but you figure you’re in enough trouble as it is so it’s best to hold back these desires. 
he raises his hand, slamming it back down and eliciting a loud smack that resonates around the room. you cry out, gripping onto the cushion under you. “i’m sorry,” you whimper out, skin prickling with heat. 
he does it again, his heavy hand rising up only to crash back down against the fat of your ass. “i’m sorry,” your voice trembles, your eyes already beginning to water, despite the fact that you’re just barely getting started. 
he slaps over your ass, hard. his rough calloused palm emitting an even stronger sting over your soft skin, and you cry out, kicking your legs against the armrest of the couch, feeling the anger increasing with each rough impact from his palm.
“i’m so-orry,” you hiccup, wiping away the tears streaming down your cheeks. he continues with the abuse on your ass, feeling a twinge of guilt at the way you cry but manage to say your apologies with each relentless hit to your bottom one after the other. 
“you gonna listen to me when i tell you to do somethin’?” he raises his voice, along with his hand, letting it fall down onto your pounding flesh when you don’t answer fast enough. “yes, yes gonna listen,” you wail, little feet kicking with pain. 
“gonna lose that fuckin’ attitude of your’s?” he grunts, smacking your ass hard over where he just hit, watching you howl in anguish, back trying to arch away from the pain. 
“yes,” you sob, nodding with earnest. 
you’ve lost count of how many it’s been, the only thing that remains consistent is the hot pain that comes in waves over your bruising skin, the welts in the shape of his hand throbbing and aching in never ending flashes. 
he rubs over your skin, soothing the soreness away, before he drops his hand against it once more, erasing the little comfort he was giving you. 
you’re apologizing through loud wailing, not a care in the world for how embarrassing it is to be sobbing in joel’s lap, because it fucking hurts. 
he swats over your ass, fast and rough, letting the sting of it settle into a prickling pain that spreads down to the backs of your thighs.
after a few more hard hits to your ass, he figures you’ve had enough, your crying making him feel a pang of remorse for not taking it easier on you. he runs his hand over your scorched bottom, mending the abused flesh in an attempt to calm you down. 
you’re crying, lashes getting slick from your tears, lips growing plump with the loud hiccups of pain. he massages over your ass, gently this time, but your skin feels too raw to enjoy it. 
his self restraint is weakening, he can’t stop himself when he tilts his head back, leaning into the couch to look down at your inner thighs. he sees a wet patch spreading over your panties, and he scoffs, bringing two fingers to it. 
you gasp, trying to wriggle away from it, but he keeps you still. “interestin’” he half snickers, and you just about die of humiliation. 
“reckon you want me to do somethin’ about this?” he murmurs, voice gruffly cascading in the teeming air. he circles over the wet patch, giving you a chance to turn him down, shut down his advances, but you don’t want to. 
you bend a little, arching into his touch. “please?’ you whimper, all embarrassment gone from the pain, and he inhales a hefty breath, swallowing thickly. 
he slides your panties to the side, drawing his fingers up and down your slick. you shiver, tightening your legs around him. 
“can’t believe you’re soaked over that,” he taunts meanly, judgingly, and you whimper, your face getting hot from the base of your throat when he pushes in his middle finger. 
“you’re s’mean,” you sniffle and he scoffs at your complaints, pushing his finger in deeper to watch you gasp and shake. 
“i showed you what mean is,” he chuckles lowly, leaning down to make sure you hear him. he shifts his hips around, pressing something to your hip, making sure you feel it. 
“and this ain’t mean,” he curls his finger right up into that little spot you struggled to reach last night. he starts curling his finger, right there, and suddenly you can’t breathe, you can’t even believe this is happening, but whether it’s real or not you don’t want it to stop. 
“more,” you whine, pushing back on his hand with a devout need. his free hand grips at the bruising flesh of your ass, the plumpness of it filling the gaps between his fingers, and you wince, little hands trying to grip at the cushions for comfort. 
“you’re a greedy little girl with no fuckin’ manners. do i need to do this all over again just to remind you to say please?” he raises his hand back up over your ass, and you’re shaking your head, turning back at him pleadingly. “n-no, no, i’m so sorry,” you whimper, the backs of your hands covering your stinging bottom feebly. 
he laughs at your attempts, but decides he’ll let it slide. he moves your hands away, and pushes his finger back inside, filling you up to the knuckle. you moan deeply, relief at the pleasure entering you once more. the way he fucks you with his finger is all you need to even begin trying to ignore the resounding pain he instilled into your ass. 
little pants leave past your lips, your cheek squished against the couch while you try to fuck yourself onto his fingers. “feel’s s’good,” you drool. 
he can’t stop the downward spiral he’s letting himself fall into with you, he’s in too deep, and he’s just accepted that he wants to go deeper. 
you’re rutting your clit against his knee just how you’ve been wanting to this whole time, and he watches you as a desperate little wet thing in his lap trying to get off with what he’s giving you. 
"you know i saw you last night," he whispers in your ear, beard tickling your neck when he leans in real close, his finger picking up speed when he continues. 
your face burns hot, and you can't bear to look at him. "oh god," you moan, half from pleasure, half from pure humiliation. 
"heard you sayin' my name too, there somethin' you wanna tell me?" he pushes you a little further, watching and waiting to see how you reply. 
you're so disoriented, you can't think straight past the embarrassment and the feeling of joel refusing to let up with his finger inside you. he rubs over that perfect spot right there, and it feels so good that it almost kills the shame that burrows itself under your skin. 
"n-no? no, i dunno," you whine dumbly, and he rolls his eyes, flicking his wrist harder now, gripping the hand of yours that tries to hold onto him. "you don't know?" he parrots back mockingly. 
"you just so happened to be tryin' to finger yourself while moanin' my name? that just a coincidence?" his words jab at your cheeks with taunts and you whimper, hiding your face away from him, still shamelessly grinding down onto him when he works another finger in you, stretching you out. 
"i'm sorry," is all you can whimper, you feel stupid with his fingers in you, bullying your poor cunt until it makes that addictive pap pap pap sound. "apologizin' for the wrong thing, should've been sayin' that instead of talkin' back to me," he grunts, letting go of your wrist to smack the side of your ass. 
you cry out, shaking in his lap from the slap, the pain echoing over the sore flesh. "i'm sorry," you draw out longly, chest racking with tears mixed with pain and ecstasy. 
he pulls his fingers from out your tight hole, and you whine, looking back at him with those pretty, innocently guilty eyes of yours.  
"quit your whinin'," he mutters, pulling you upright into his lap. he looks back into your gaze, and it only reminds him of how you're breaking him down into a weak, weak man.  
his thumb runs across your bottom lip, dipping into it. "open," he tells you with a softer, hushed sternness. you obey, parting your lips for him. 
he spits in your mouth, and you take it like a kiss, carrying the action like a caress. it mixes with your own saliva, ingraining himself in your dna. 
he stares at you expectantly, hands lowering down to your ass, squeezing it indignantly, like a warning. 
"thank you," you breathe out, feeling drunk on him. he seems pleased, his tight clasp over your ass gets gentler, but it's still firm, still there. 
"got a real issue of rememberin' your manners there girl," he tsks, his thumb trailing down your chin, his other hand patting your bottom. "but i'll fix that, fix that right up." he promises, but it feels more like a threat, one that he intends on staying true to. 
he lays you flat on your back onto the couch, and you allow him to, letting him do whatever he pleases with you, and he thinks he likes you like this, so sweet and so pliant. 
he pulls your legs towards him, he feels hungry, feels impatient, he wants all of you and he wants it all now. 
joel hasn't wanted anything in years, because if you don't want anything, you won't be disappointed when you don't get it. 
but now he's got you in front of him and he can't take it. he wants you. he's greedy, and he's dirty, but he doesn't care, you've done irreversible damage that he expects will be somehow repaired if he can just get a fix of you, just enough to gratify his bodily needs. 
your legs find their way around his hips as if you've done this before, as if his body has been with your's prior to this, connecting like they're supposed to. he slots himself between your thighs, feeling almost overwhelmed to finally have you like this for him. 
you want to kiss him, want to hold him, want him him him, and although you've already got him, you still feel like there's more of him to be had. 
he unbuckles his belt, the sound urging your legs to tighten around his waist. his eyes drag over you, slowly taking in the vision that's you, as he unbuttons his jeans. he pulls himself out, your gaze dropping down to him, feeling your heart sink immediately. 
you never assumed he was small, not that you thought about what was under those jeans, (lies) but shit, this was just obscene. near unnecessary, because how in the hell does he function carrying that…thing around? 
he sees your gawking, and an annoying pride fills him to the brim at your visible awe. "is that gonna fit?" you finally ask, and he laughs, pumping himself when he inches closer. "we're about to see aren't we?" he answers, moving your panties to the side. 
you get stiff with nerves, holding onto his strong bicep. "joel i-i dunno if it'll fit," you admit, you sound scared, because you are, and he almost feels bad. almost. 
"if you don't want this tell me now," he places your panties back, but you're shaking your head, pulling him back in. "no i do, i do, promise," you sound so desperate, so needy, and he's trying so hard to not just fuck you right now. 
"just, scared…i never uh..you know." you motion between you two and he swears he nearly punched the air with obnoxious success. "this your first time?" he confirms, and you nod, feeling shy under his stare. 
"not like i've been trying to save myself or anything, there's just no one around over here," you explain, not that you needed to, if anything joel is ecstatic with a primal possession that he gets to be your first. 
"so you're jumpin' at the first man who gives you some attention? 'specially an old man like me?" he circles the tip of his cock around your clit, and your lips part, hips instinctively lowering down on him. "n-no, i," you don't have any words for him, his actions rendering you silent.
he starts slowly inching in, and your head falls deeper into the cushion behind you, nails crescenting into his forearms. he goes in with no resistance, you're so fucking soaked around him, gripping him in like a warm welcome. 
"shit," he shudders, fully sheathing himself inside you. his hand lands beside your head, panting above you, and he looks so beautiful like this. he's so handsome, his eyebrows are in that furrow that they're always in, but this time it's for a different reason. 
you look down at where you're connected, and you feel as though you're now one, he's a part of you as you are of him, and you never want him to leave. 
you start rolling your hips experimentally, no matter where or how you move, you feel him deep inside, the fat head of his cock hitting there, over and over, and it feels so good, you don't think twice about continuing your little ministrations. 
he forcibly pauses your actions, halting your hips down with a rough grip from his hands. he's glaring down at you, uh oh.  
"greedy little girl," he grunts, starting to piston his hips inside you. you cry out, leaning forward to find solace in his broad chest, but he pushes you back down, pinning you still. he pauses for a moment, grabbing his belt. "wrists." he orders, and you listen without wasting a second. 
he ties your wrists, pushing them above your head before he continues. he's groaning atop of you, fucking you with a purpose, and you take him, entire body bopping upwards with every harsh thrust being fucked into you. 
you want to touch him so bad, it feels like torture, you want to put your hands under his flannel, explore the skin that lies underneath, but he's denied you of that privilege. "brat's got such a tight fuckin' pussy," he grunts, impaling you hard onto his cock, stretching you out so good you can't stop yourself from trying to meet his thrusts. 
the moans that pour from you are endless, all you do is whimper his name, crying for him and it inflates his ego, but he can't have you being this loud. a hand clamps over your mouth, and you moan behind it, any touch from him is welcomed wholeheartedly. 
"quiet down girl," he grits, leaning in close while his thrusts grow harsher. "startin' to think you left your panties for me to find, bet you wanted me to get mad, jus' wanted some attention huh?" he moves his hand away from your mouth, instead using it to grip your face, squeezing your cheeks until your lips pucker. "speak," he orders. 
"n-no, no i just fo-forgot, promise," you swear, words feeling difficult to pronounce and even think of when he's got you stretched out on his cock like this, fucking you dumb. 
he doesn't believe you, his hands working around your throat soon after you squeak your response. "no?" he teases, his hands growing tighter around the pane of your neck. 
your wrists wiggle around the confinements of the belt, wishing you could hold the hands that have you cradled like a glove. 
"f'you just wanted my attention, or just wanted to get fucked," he rests on his haunches, pulling you with him, letting you slip down further onto his cock, the corners of his lips curling when you cry out. "then just fuckin' ask, don't need to be pullin' stunts like that," 
his hands around your throat feel loving, they feel safe, and perfectly fitted around you, like his hands were made for this. the lack of air feels right, feels like this is what you needed, and you want more. 
tears well at your pretty eyes, rolling down your cheeks while you grip at the buckle on his belt, his cock moving so deep inside that you feel him in the base of your tummy. 
he releases your throat, and you gasp for the air you didn't even realize was depleting. he pulls the belt loose, and you immediately go to his arms, running over them. squeezing at the muscles, feeling impressed with how they flex under your touch. 
your hands travel up to his face, his beard tickling your palms. "feels sososo good joel, never felt like this," you slur, eyes falling shut at the pleasure. "yeah? this all it took for you to fuckin' behave?" he groans, your hands running across his wide back, trying to feel him, feel the muscles that you've only ever gotten to steal glances at. 
he's letting you fall backward again, hovering close to your level, his cock filling you to the hilt, and then some, and you want to tell him how full you feel, how good it feels to have so much of him in you, but the words are lost on you, there are no thoughts left to be had, just pure physical manifestations of what he's doing to you. 
"kiss me, please?" you beg, and he doesn't argue, doesn't mock you or tease, but connects your lips, kissing you hard. you moan into his mouth, calf resting on his lower back while he pushes in and out of you. his beard brushes around your chin, your nails gently scratching at the back of his head, eliciting his turn to moan in your mouth. 
he kisses you like he fucks you, rough. it's rushed, messy, wet, but there's power in the way he does both, making you feel hazy, dizzy, and overfilled with rapture all at once. 
every push, and every shove into the couch is registered as soft, gentle caresses, loving affection, so graciously given to you by the rough hands belonging to joel and you take it all in stride, left wanting more, craving more roughness that just feels like love instead. 
his face falls to the warmth of your neck, nipping, biting down onto your shoulder when he buries himself further than you even knew possible, inside of you. your mouth parts, a string of whiny moans leaving past them when he grinds into you, bucking your hips to meet his. 
"finally bein' so obedient, should've just gave in an' did this sooner," he grunts into your skin, hands holding you down by your hips. his fingers find your clit, rubbing over the sensitive nerves just like how you did last night, and you choke on a moan, tangling your fingers in his salt and peppered hair. 
"so good, feels so good, thank you daddy," you cry like a prayer into his neck, and he sends an especially hard thrust into your cunt, knocking the air out of you. you feel frozen in horror when you realize what's just come out your mouth.
"that's real nasty y'know that right?" the sick curl in the corner of his mouth contradicts the shame he throws at you, and the way his cock twitches inside you acts as further proof that there's no truth in his mocking. 
you cover your face in his shoulder, but no, he wants you to look at him when he fucks you, he wants to see the way those pretty lips of yours mold around the word that rightfully belongs to him. 
"don't get shy now," he huffs, holding your jaw, head falling back when he feels you clench down around him. his hands fall back to where they belong, wrapped snug around your throat.
he watches the way your eyes roll back, bottom lip being sucked in while you try fucking yourself onto him. "dirty fuckin' girl," he grits, squeezing you while your fingers curl over his, intertwining with him. "s'all right, i can be your daddy," he grunts, pushing in and feeling you squeeze him when he lays his promises to you. 
you force your eyes open, gazing at him hazily while he pounds into you. he brings his hips down to yours relentlessly, no mercy in the way he fucks you. he's growing messy, falling out of tune when he slows down, shoving himself all the way in you, letting the sensation of the way you wrap around him be appreciated like it's supposed to be. 
"my fuckin' cunt, you hear me? repeat." he releases your throat, and you gasp, sputtering while you nod. "yes, s'all yours," you hiccup, watery eyes making out a blurry joel in front of you. he presses his hand to your lower stomach, groaning to himself when he can feel his own cock piston in and out of you. 
he lessens the speed in his thrusts, slowing to watch his cock fill you up. you squirm at the extra pressure, pawing at his wrists. "so much, it's so much daddy," you whine, and he grunts, feeling pride at the way he's got you so fucked out. "take it," is all he says, sounding gruff and strained. 
"can i cum please? promise m'gonna be so good for you daddy, gonna listen an' everything," you cry, wrapping your legs tighter around his hips, pulling him in deeper. he grits his teeth, chest getting tight at your pleads. 
"really think you deserve it?" he grunts and you nod, gripping onto his shoulders. "yes, please, i promise, promise m'gonna be good, please please," he concedes to your begging, bringing his fingers to your clit. 
you gasp, panting in all the air that'll fit in your lungs when it all hits you. your skin is tinged with heat, legs trembling on either side of joel's waist when you feel the tides start to ripple closer to you until it crashes, pulling you into the ocean and you're drowning. drowning in joel. 
"thank you daddy, thank you s'much, so good," you muffedly sob, face in the crook of his shoulder while he fucks you through your orgasm, fingers running over your clit, winding you up just to watch you fall apart. 
"fuck, squeezing me so hard," he laughs breathlessly, slipping into a heavy moan at the way you're clamping down on him. "so good baby, take what you need, that's my girl," he groans, holding your waist down, fucking you with a rushed need. the backs of your thighs rest over him, and you feel weak, but fulfilled, watching adoringly as he uses your body to cum. bursts of pleasure still erupting inside you at the way he fucks you. 
my girl
you whimper at the fleeting affections, unknowingly clenching harder around him.
"shit, shit, gonna fuckin' cum, gonna fill this pussy up, greedy little cunt can't get enough," he groans, head falling forward while his orgasm envelopes him, the slick from your mixed arousal loud while he gasps, grunting with a few harsh thrusts. he pushes into you with finality, cumming deep inside you. 
he slowly pulls out, and it stings, you're wincing, feeling bare and cold. 
he pulls your panties back over you, eyeing the way his cum pools against the material, and he feels good, feels like he's permanently marked you as his. he tucks himself back into his jeans, catching his breath before he turns his attention back to you. 
he dresses your limp body back into your overalls, his hands now ginger and gentle over your skin, touching you like you've suddenly become glass. he sits at the end of the couch, pulling you into his lap. 
he's careful when he sits you down, aware that your ass still probably hurts. he lets you curl into his side, the last bit of trembling slowly leaving your body from what just happened. his palm runs up and down your back, feeling content at the way you rest on his chest. "feel okay?" he asks quietly, and you hum a sleepy yes. 
your hand rests on his chest, toying with the buttons. "you've always been a sweet girl," he says, feeling like he needs to clarify that, and you smile against his chest, feeling relief and giddiness at his admittance. "a messy one but, sweet nonetheless," he pats your back and you shoot him a joking glare. 
he holds you closer by tucking his hand under your thighs, cradling you into him. he kisses your temple, the first gentle action of the day. he tells himself he'll indulge in that more when he sees the smile that spreads across your cheeks. 
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katz-chow · 8 months
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im a ghost girlie but my love for soap is literally incomprehensible and i have this headcanon where its ghost x reader but soap third wheels all the time and its not like in a mean way at all, they’re just a trio that is basically inseparable. i also hc that they make so many jokes about being a throuple to the point where its not rlly a joke anymore lmao. anyway, this is all to ask if you’ll write some headcanons about that dynamic. fluff ofc! if u feel comfortable writing a little bit of poly soap x reader x ghost, i’d be very gracious 🙏🏽 but no pressure!
soap, simon, and the not-so-single parent
warnings: gn!reader, ghost x reader, soap x platonic!reader, my interpretation of ghost & soap, domesticity, fluff, johnny being johnny, simon being simon, reader being the concerned parent, third-wheel soap
a/n: this shit be on my mind constantly that johnny just loves to annoy and thirdwheel reader & simon. some of this is inspired by irl stuff. i'm not really into a poly triangle personally and i just can't imagine them, especially simon, to be okay with it, sorry!
humble beginnings
johnny didn't find out that simon had a romantic partner until you two reached past your 1 year anniversary. it happened by pretty much chance too, here's how that went: simon forgot a file, you were off of work, you drove to base, you dropped off said file using your dependent clearance, he kissed your cheek goodbye right in the doorway of his office (masked), johnny turned the corner, and as simon pulled away, you looked at johnny who was desperately trying to seem busy on his phone as he walked away hurriedly. he was on the calculator app. simon and you gave each other a look and he nodded, knowing that you've been wanting to meet the colorful coworkers (and his closest friends) for a while now. you called him over, soap, as you've remembered, not everyday you see a mohawk. johnny freezes and turned around to see you beckoning him back to the frame of the office, and simon with his arms crossed, staring a bit annoyed actually. he was chill when you two introduced each other, not wanting to embarrass himself. his eyes lit up though, when he heard you invite him over for dinner. "lovie..." simon started out, a gentle hand on your back. you hit his chest with the back of your head playfully, "no, no, this will be good for us. first diner party in our new house" "HOUSE? HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD SOMEONE" he wanted to scream at simon's face, what came out however was a "i dinnae want to be a bother to you both" you insisted and he felt bad (but also curious), so dinner it was. simon took off his mask to please you and well, it was the comfort of his home. he rolled his eyes as johnny quipped that he certainly was "quite the opposite". from that day forward, it was the three of you against...manchester i guess?
children, the both of them
johnny tags along whenever you two are running errands on leave or on off days when they're both stationed at home. sometimes it's just you and him, or him and simon, or all three of yall. it started with a "we're having brunch, wanna join?" and now it's more like "we're going to the zoo, 9 am, get there" they make up the weirdest challenges and it feels like you're babysitting them both. simon, doesn't see it, he's a grown adult man, he's not silly. johnny says it's just in his nature like how it's natural that wombats poop in cubes (he walked ahead to read that tidbit and walked back to regurgitate it back at the two of you). challenges include: simon and johnny getting into a long debate about which is better, the smoked salmon crepes or the chocolate crepes, and when they mix them together, who can eat it all without puking? who can get to the butterfly sanctuary the fastest without running? who can find your favorite fish in the 30,000 gallon (113562.35 liter) fish tank WHILE holding their breath as if they were swimming in the water johnny telling you that his jokes are the best, simon butting in and using the "i'm your boyfriend, surely my jokes are better" card. you wanted to throw them both out of the car as they kept going back and forth with the most stupidest, tasteless, dad jokes ever. johnny saying he can drive better than simon. simon saying he can fly a broken helicopter and land safely. you're in the driver's seat. simon quipped that he would be a good artist compared to this shit's canvas (picasso) and johnny saying that his cat can paint better. simon said dogs can do it better. johnny said- you get the idea simon threw up after the 8th time on a rollercoaster. johnny threw up on the 9th. you, however, went through a nice scenic boat ride :)
quiet mornings
you three are closer than yall think. whenever they're both away, you always miss the noise they bring in the kitchen, trying to figure out how to make muffins or...popcorn. the three of you doing the daily wordle, crossword, and sudoku. "what's c for?" "c4 is an explosive, bonnie" "no johnny, what does C STAND FOR? fucking idiot..." mornings when you both are expecting johnny are never quiet, especially when he announces that he's there by knocking on the front door and saying "it's johnny!" when someone opens it. even when he's not there, you can at least hear simon's almost silent breaths if it wasn't for how close you two were. you miss them when they have to leave, you know it can't be forever, but damnit you missed the buzzing of them both. you don't miss, however, johnny and simon playing drunk monopoly.
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nozunhinged · 3 months
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My Top 5 BL Kisses of Jan (& Feb) 24 + why
Okay, okayyyyy I'm doing this, no backing out. I offically accept that analyzing kisses takes up so much of my brainspace that I can write about it — so here it goes. I'M NOT HIDING ANYMORE BUT OWNING UP TO IT! (lol, chill)
Last year I complained that I didn't get a single perfect kiss since I started watching BL TV shows (until PhayaTharn turned up) and now we're not even a quarter into the new year and I already got FIVE I'm absolutely in AWE about!! FIVE!!
I don't know if it's the actors, directors or coaches who upped their game (probably all of them) but hot damn, all of these are beautiful.
And don't ask me why I'm into kiss-acting so much I have no fucking clue, my first guess is that it's an artform in itself to make this amazing, wonderful, intimate form of touching look as beautiful as it feels — bc let's be honest here, irl kissing rarely looks pretty no matter how great it is! So I think it's just dope when you can see this beauty translated on screen.
So I guess this is peak romance genre for me and with that being said, enough talking, lets get to the kissykissies!
5. TenPrem - Cooking Crush EP. 11
I have to be honest with you, I was a bit confused by the kissing in this show. The tippytoe kiss was cute as heck but we all saw how Off AND Gun awkwardly blinked because they probably had to stay like that for a looooong time. It took the whole magic out of the whole first-kiss-moment. Same with the forced in, reshot makeout-scenes. But the kiss in the kitchen? Looks like they FINALLY got to show what they got.
Ten gently pulling Prem closer, them smoothly moving against each other, Ten closing in even more, the slightly open-mouthed kiss with their lips perfectly caressing each other, Ten with a bit more force, Prem with a bit more heat resulting in the perfect mix...Loved it, mwah.
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4. PromNont - Playboyy EP. 12
They are my one Playboyy-couple where I'm like "if they don't end up married and running Playboyy together, starting the revolution of well-payed, insured and safe sex workers I'm gonna riot" even though I know this show will not end nicely for ANYONE.
Anyways, this kiss. Holy smokes they had so many good scenes but this one took the cake. Not just the sheer length of it (but still with perfect timing and breaks).
The slightest suck on Nonts upper lip, Prem literally making Nont sway, Nonts hidden desperation for Prom surfacing from his lips, them slowly but surely turning up the heat and last but not least, Prom grabbing Nonts face just to lean against him...UGH THEM!
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(I made those)
3. Myungha & Yeowoon - Love for Love's Sake EP 8
I know I'm not alone in how this show swept me off my feet and hit me right in the feels. But I've gotta say, this kiss hit completely different. Again they kissed for so long but not a single moment felt wasted. It felt like their whole story put in a single kiss. And — I mean that in the most loving and positive way possible — they kissed so amazingly gay. Do you know what I mean?!
There's just this level of love, care and happiness that only queer couples can convey. Sprinkled with a hint of tongue (I saw that Yeowoon 👀) — they absolutely nailed it.
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2. AlanJeff - Pit Babe EP. 11
The kiss that made me consider doing this post in the first place. I saw them and shouted THIS IS PERFECT just to realize that I did this a few weeks ago already and it made me spiral a little. In the best way possible because I felt truly blessed once again to have discovered the genre of BL in their golden era!
Because this right here is how you nail an open mouthed kiss my friends. Take notes BL producers. Put this in your textbooks! They both go at the same rythm (slow, careful but so, so loving JUST LIKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP UGH) and same level of touch so their lips caress each other perfectly. Furthermore, Alan knows exactly how to meet Jeff which is also a PERFECT EXTENSION OF HIS CHARACTER! Alan leads, Jeff follows but they meet perfectly and equally. TEN OUT OF TEN NO NOTES!
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1. PhayaTharn - The Sign EP. 9
I don't understand the meaning of the "Roman Empire"-thing but I think if I say they are mine, I am correct because they will be the end of me and that's what that means right? I may be biased AF but objectively speaking, this is just an insanely well acted-out scene, PERIOD! And we all know it's thanks to Billybabes out-of-this-world-chemistry!
Phayas desperation translated into this gorgeous lip-clash, so much yearning but softness at the same time but what really got to me was how Tharn immediately melted after their lips touched, how he immediately opened up to him and got completely overwhelmed by Phayas feelings. Chapeau to Babe for showing so much range in a single second. My favorite kiss of the whole series ❤️
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I also just realized all these kisses have one thing in common....hands on faces lol.
Well that was fun peeps, thanks if you made it until the end!
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arabellabox · 7 months
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how are we after what happened in the order meeting room? man, cellbit just performed one of his best scenes and left, i was freaking out.
q!bbh and q!cellbit having a shared past is so special for me, like, this makes their dynamic so interesting! i don't like when people use this to label what they are as "father-son" or "siblings coded". they went to the same war, they fought together, they survived and lived the hell of them, and this experience created a bound that can't be so simply reduced to a family dynamic they don't have. they don't are like that!! but they definitely have a bound, and it means so much for me.
i loved how q!cellbit just waited till q!forever left to show his worst, because he trusts q!badboyhalo to see this side of him. all the talk of "i know you didn't" and then proceeding to give q!bad his knife and teaching a whole torture method, like hello???
since the irl qsmp members left brazil i was super excited to see cellbit return to the lore and one of the things i was waiting the most was to see his reaction to badboyhalo lore and all of the kidnapping thing. now that it happened, and his reaction was epic, i feel glorious.
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Thomas hewitt with short reader who adores him!
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I got this inspired from a wattpad story 😭 please I'm gonna die, what if someone I know irl sees this.
Summary: you acted nice to Thomas and now he's glued to you.
Tw: stockholm Syndrome?
You were on your 1999's jeep on your way to Texas. You and your friends decides to move to a very hot place for what unknown reason. You were burning but the opened windows seemed to help a bit. Your two friends in the back seat were making out shamelessly while the driver of the car who was actively tying to flirt with you. It may not be the best car trip right now but you're sure it's gonna be worth it.
The town itself wasn't very loud but you just hoped the cacophony of lip smacking and annoying sounds from the radio would end.
"Hey y/n, have you ever thought about getting into relationships?" The driver friend of yours asked obnoxiously.
"Uh I don't know, I'll meet the right person I guess..." You just blandly answered hinting at your suitor that you have no interest in this conversation.
And as if God answered your prayers you spotted a gas station
"Stop the car right now there's a gast station."
and you hear faint words of aww's from your sappy friends. you got out and proceeded to vamoose into the gas station hoping to find good food to replenish your hunger.
You got distracted and bumped into a squishy big tough chest, you look up and the most cutest attractive man you've ever seen in your entire life, although his eyes were piercing through yours cautiously and with fire as to wait for you to run away but you just stood there looking at him with awe and adoration in your eyes which seemed to catch him off guard as he's never been looked at like this. A sudden voice met your attention.
"Ah it seems you've run into my son Thomas, I'm Luda Mae just call me Mae and don't fear him he isn't going to hurt you he's just a gentle giant, right Tommy?" The elderly woman said.
The man now you know as either Thomas or Tommy slightly nodded his head.
"Hi Tommy! Nice to meet you!" You chirped as if you were talking to a baby or a small animal, this unfamiliar tone of voice caught both of them off guard, Thomas flabbergasted and flustered underneath his mask and Luda with a small o on her mouth which turned into a teasing smile. But before she could say anything your friends barged inside.
"What the- Y/n stay away from that!."
You were roughly pulled away from Thomas by one of your friends, as they so rudely explained that you shouldn't be near someone as big and dangerous as tommy and ordered whatever was on their mind and dragged you away only a small 'bye!' Escaping your lips before seen out of sight from both of them.
Maybe you won't be food.
Now a few hours later and it's dark and you can barely see anything but you were bleeding and scars on your body and was running away from that house with your only remaining friend but now you have none since a chainsaw is going through their body leaving you no choice but to run away alone leaving you scared to death.
You were running as fast as you could but the killer caught up to you and you recognised those distinct eyes.
"Tommy?" You asked, fear and adrenaline leaving your body, why was it that you felt so in peace when you are with him? Before you could process anything further your vision blackened.
And now you found yourself tied to a chair in front of family of 4 Or 5 you can't tell but what you did notice that your flirty driver was hung upside down on the wall. And now you were sobbing because you were scared for your life.
Thomas wanted you to stop crying and aquiver but didn't know how so he decided to comfort you with music he gently placed his headphone over your ears hoping it'll calm you down and oddly enough it did. It calmed you knowing he didn't mean you harm. But you aren't sure that goes for the same from his family, how did you even get into this situation anyways? They all started eating what they called 'your friends' and Thomas even started to feed you. which strangely didn't seem to bother you as much as you thought it would. You started zoning out and before you knew it the tight rope from your hands started to untangle.
"Hey! What are you doing!? First you insist they be tied with rope instead of nailing them and now you're untying them?"
You had absolutely no idea what was going on so you just sat idle and Thomas stood there with his hands pointed at you as to show that you meant no harm.
"What if they run away and snitch?"
"I-i won't!" You cursed yourself for stuttering.
"Well.. It doesn't hurt to have one more family member." Luda mae implies.
"I'm watching you..." The older man snarly says to you.
Few months later you are now very much apart of their family and you help around the house, 8/10 (10 if you don't mind murder and blood and cannibalism)
Now for hc's!
Everytime you talk to him with adoration his heart explodes everywhere. ⬅➡⬆⬇↗↘↙↖
He runs by your side every chance he gets, he's a very busy man but you accompany him and he can't ask for anything more or less.
He's going to get VERY attached to you poor baby rarely ever received this kind of affection before you so DON'T break his heart. (Not like you will anyways)
Ask for anything and he'll bring it to you in 3 seconds.
Will also worry alot over the smallest things like a small cut on your finger, does it hurt!? Are you in pain!? Are you okay? Please don't bleed out!
Will die (out of cuteness) if you do the same.
Very shy about PDA but he's the most touched starved cuddly man behind close doors.
Will probably be dependant on you.
Will also be very scared when you go out alone, incase you'll decide you don't like him anymore and run away.
Also very insecure, what if you find a better man? :(
Will fall for you 100x harder if you help him with the murdering.
Loves the size difference too. You have to stand on your tippy toes smh. 😳
Pats your head, yes.
Sometimes carries you wherever you like when you two have free time.
LOVES nicknames.
"Tommy I'm fine!"
"Tommy it's okay I'm not gonna run away I'm only going on errands."
"Baby I promise I won't leave you, you are my only love."
"Muah, feel better?"
"Oh no, are you okay sweetheart?"
"You are the most handsome man I've ever seen."
"Love you, goodnight darling."
"You're so tall!"
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kwanisms · 8 months
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Birthday Gifts — h.jisung
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» stray kids masterlist «
➮ idol!Jisung × f!reader (feat. one kiss between the reader & Felix) wc: 1.5k summary: Meeting Felix really changed your whole world but with Felix came Jisung who could potentially ruin everything or make it better. It's a 50/50 chance you haven't been willing to take before. But maybe, just maybe, you can make an exception at their shared birthday party. genres/themes/au: fluff, smut; party themes?? It's a house birthday party lol; idol au warnings: adult language, female reader, party setting, reader & Felix share a kiss one time but there's nothing going on between them, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! special tags: @anyamaris & @mint-yooxgi cause of told them about the dream that inspired this. also tagging @yoonguurt cause she's the bestie and always gets a tag 🍄꒰。•◡•。꒱🍄 join my taglists: permanent | group Strikethrough means I cannot tag you.  MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. 
a/n: this is based off a dream I had last night so Happy Birthday to Felix and Han. Yes, I'm posting this even tho I'm officially on hiatus so if you see this, shhh no you didn't. 🤫 thank you for reading and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.
smut warnings: unprotected sex (use condoms and other contraceptives pls), quickie (like it's super fast lmao sorry Ji), use of a singular pet name (baby), he cums inside her and that's about it. Very short and sweet lol
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[21:04]
You knew it was wrong and that you should have told him to stop a long time ago but you just couldn’t bring yourself to say no to Jisung. Not at his birthday party. Granted, he was sharing the day with Felix but it was still his day, too.
“Fuck,” Jisung grunted from behind you as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. “C’mere,” he gasped, turning you back around to face him, taking your lips in a searing kiss.
That was how it had started. With a kiss.
“I want my birthday present,” Felix announced suddenly, causing you and everyone else to turn and look at him. The others were baffled but you knew exactly what he meant. He’d come up to you at the start of the party, one you had planned so meticulously, and pulled you aside.
You apologized for not getting him a present but he assured you that the party was more than enough but you were adamant. You still wanted to give him a gift. You promised anything he wanted within reason and a cheeky smile had spread across his face.
“Anything I want?” he asked in that deep voice. You nodded firmly.
Meeting Felix had been a happy accident with him running, quite literally, into you at an aquarium in the states when he was touring. He’d tripped over a bump in the carpet and went down, unfortunately taking you with him.
If he hadn’t been so engrossed in the conversation with Changbin and Hyunjin, he might not have tripped at all. A visit to the first aid station and several hundred apologies later, the two of you were thick as thieves, even combining groups to finish walking through the aquarium.
After exchanging contact details, Felix promised to keep in contact as often as he could while you learned everything you could about kpop and a group called Stray Kids.
As fate would have it, the company you worked for had an opportunity to expand its market into South Korea and you jumped at the chance to move to Seoul for the job. You settled into your apartment and job and called Felix as soon as you were able to spare some time and it was like you hadn’t been thousands of miles apart.
You met the rest of his members, befriending them all quite quickly. Through Felix, your friend group exploded and you were soon a regular member of the group. Felix had begged you to plan this party, enlisting the help of Jisung with whom you remained friendly with.
You always kept your distance from Jisung who attributed this to you being shy but in reality, you were so insanely attracted to him that you couldn’t trust yourself to be alone with him. You knew if he made even the slightest move on you, you wouldn’t be able to control yourself and would take whatever he offered you.
“Anything you want,” you promised, smiling as Felix leaned in to whisper in your ear. So when he announced he wanted his gift, looking right at you as everyone turned to face him, you already knew what he wanted.
At the mention of a gift, Jisung had perked up. It was his party too after all. “I want a present, too!” he pouted as a few heads turned in his direction, a couple guests snickering as you glanced at Felix. Your best friend smiled calmly. “You can ask her for one,” he replied. “But you can’t ask for the same gift.”
Jisung rolled his eyes at that but after you crossed the distance and grabbed Felix by the face, pulling him into a kiss, Jisung backpedaled so fast. “Wait, no. I changed my mind,” he croaked as you and Felix parted. “I want the same present.”
His comment earned him a soft smack upside the head from Chris while the rest of the guests chuckled lightheartedly, even Felix joining in. You laughed along with them but you knew deep down if Jisung really wanted something, he went for it.
Felix you could trust yourself to stop kissing. But Jisung? You knew if he kissed you, it would end the same way. With your pants around your ankles and his cock buried in you from behind.
So when he cornered you later after the cake had already been cut and served, pulling you out of the main room into one of the unoccupied bathrooms of the apartment, you knew you were doomed. Any sense you had, left the moment he shut the door, turning the lock.
“Jisung,” you said softly as he moved to stand in front of you. It was meant to be a warning but your voice was too shaky. Luckily, he didn’t notice. “Why can’t I have the same present as Felix?” he demanded. You shut your eyes tightly trying to push him out of your mind.
Just standing so close, he was invading your senses from the heat radiating from his body to the sound of his voice in your ears, drowning out every other sound to the smell of his cologne. You needed to leave this room and fast if you wanted any chance to salvage your strained relationship with him.
“Can we talk about this later?” you asked, trying to push past him for the door but he wasn’t having it. Instead he pinned you against the door. Your breath caught in your throat.
‘One.’
You looked up to meet his heated gaze.
“Why do you always avoid me?” ‘Two.’
“Can we not do this right now? This party is for both you and Felix,” you replied. “Let’s just enjoy the party, please.” Jisung shook his head. “No,” he answered. “Not until you answer me.”
“Okay, fine,” you said, placing your hand on his chest and pushing him away. Jisung accepted this and took a step back. “It’s because I know myself,” you started. “With Felix, I can control myself. I can kiss him easily and then stop.” Jisung said nothing as you continued.
“But with you…” you trailed off. “With you I know I wouldn’t be able to stop.”
Realization dawned on Jisung’s face as you spoke.
“If I kissed you,” you added, meeting his gaze once more. “It would only end one way.”
Jisung closed the distance between you with one step. “And what way is that?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Your words failed you as you looked into his eyes, a gaze so intense that it made heat rush to your core looking back at you.
You swallowed the lump in your throat.
“With our pants around our ankles, me bent over that counter, and your cock buried inside me.” ‘Three.’
No sooner than the words had been said did Jisung have you pinned against the door, lips against yours in a rushed and messy kiss. It was soon after he had you pinned against the sink counter, your hands gripping the sides of the vanity as he rutted against you, allowing you to feel his hardening cock through your pants.
Which led to where you were currently.
He’d turned you to face him, lips moving against yours as his hands fumbled with your jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them before pushing them down along with your panties as you did the same, hurriedly undressing his lower body.
“Up,” he commanded, helping you up onto the counter as he lowered his fingers to your waiting cunt, rubbing through your folds to find you were already pretty wet. Almost pathetically so. It was stupid the effect he had on you. Jisung wasted no time, spitting into his hand and rubbing it along his length before taking himself in his hand to line up with your aching core.
Without another word, he pushed into you, gliding much easier than you expected until he was bottomed out. You whined into his shoulder, clawing at his shirt to hold on for dear life as he started to pound into you mercilessly, hips rocking against yours. You had to bite your bottom lip to keep from making too much noise as the party continued on outside the bathroom.
“Ah shit, baby,” Jisung rasped in your ear as your walls clenched around him. “You gonna cum already?” he whispered, his breath hot against your cheek. You nodded, holding back whimpers and moans as you buried your face in his neck.
It was embarrassing how fast he was able to pull an orgasm out of you, your thighs squeezing around his waist as he helped you ride it out before chasing his own high and emptying his load into you with a shudder and a low groan which he muffled in your shoulder.
It was so quick it made your head spin and as you both came down from your highs and came back to the reality of the situation, Jisung couldn’t help but chuckle, prompting you to pull back and look at him.
“What’s so funny?” you huffed. Jisung shook his head before meeting your gaze.
“You were wrong,” he said simply. You stared at him incredulously.
‘Wrong?’
“How am I wrong?” you asked as he shook his hair out of his eyes.
“Well,” he started. “I didn’t bend you over the counter.”
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ⓘ Graphics made by me. Content and support banners made using a template by cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All writing and graphics are ©️ kwanisms.
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w2soneshots · 2 months
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Trust -W2S
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Words: 0.9k+
Warnings: angst, jealousy, argument.
In which you and Simon have known each other all your lives but everything changes when he meets a certain girl.
a/n: I absolutely love Talia! This does in no way represent her irl🤍
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I've known Simon my entire life. I met him during my first year in preschool, and we immediately became inseparable. We also share a birthday (7th of September). Since I moved to London with Simon I naturally became great friends with the boys, along with Freya and Faith. Our relationship has always been completely platonic, he's like a brother to me and I wouldn't dream of ever going near him in that way. Each girlfriend he's had has always seemed liked me, I presume it's because I make sure that they know I'm a girls girl and always make an effort to become their friend too.
Until he met Talia. She has made it very clear that she doesn't trust me, which completely confused me since I've been nothing but nice to her. It's been 3 months since Simon met her and I've barely seen him. He avoids me at parties, every night out and rarely replies to any of my messages.
One night during a party at JJ's apartment... as I walked towards the counter containing all the alcohol I realised Simon was leaning there with his back against the marble and arms crossed. I took a deep breath and quickly lent over him to grab one of the red cups. "What are you doing?!" My brows furrowed as I quickly turned around. Talia stood in front of me with an angry look on her face. "Getting a drink?" I replied. "Didn't look like it." She retaliated angrily. I turned my head to Simon. He stood sheepishly looking at the ground. I huffed "you know what, I'm so fucking tired of your shit. Both of you!" I shouted. Everyone quickly gathered around the kitchen area. "I've known him my whole fucking life!" I spat in Talia's face. When nether of them said a word I shook my head in disbelief, grabbed my things and left, with a quick "sorry" to JJ on my way out.
That night I got a text from Harry checking if I was alright and after that we became close, sitting in the corner and chatting amongst ourselves at parties and nights out (that he'd made sure I was invited to), going round to each other's houses to watch a movie (even though he hates them) and eat takeout, texting constantly, etc.
One night while we were sat on my sofa, my feet perched comfortably on his lap, he told me he liked me. Surprisingly it wasn't at all awkward and I quickly told him I felt the same. When we told everyone they seemed very happy for us. I didn't personally tell Simon but I believe JJ informed him about it, which felt weird because we always told each other everything.
Soon after Harry asked me to be his girlfriend while we were on a date in a cute restaurant, obviously I said yes. It continued on like that for another few weeks. I seriously missed Simon, I mean we've known each other forever. We did everything together and I'm so incredibly appreciative of Harry but I just feel like something's missing. So for the first time in months I decided to text him.
y/n:
Hey, how are you?
Simon:
I'm good
You?
y/n:
Fine
I miss you
Simon:
I miss you too
How are you and Harry?
y/n:
Really good
I'm glad he's been here for me when you weren't
Simon:
I'm sorry.
Are you free tomorrow?
y/n:
Why?
Simon:
Talia wants to apologise
And so do I
That message shocked me. I told him I was free so I'm going round to his apartment tomorrow at 1.
The next day... I woke up relatively early, got dressed into some comfy clothes, did my skincare, hair, then had some breakfast. Once I was finished it was almost 1 so I grabbed my phone and left.
When I arrived outside the apartment building I let myself in using the code that I've had memorised for years, said a quick "hello" to the receptionist then made my way up through the lift. I knocked on Simon's door. And played with my hands while I waited. The door clicked, I took a deep breath. He stood with a comforting smile on his face. "Come in." He said, stepping aside. I nervously walked into the apartment, then he led me towards the living room, where Talia sat on the sofa. Both me and Simon sat down. It was silent for a moment before Talia spoke "I'm ready sorry y/n," she began "I should've trusted you. I- I was just a little intimidated by how good you and Simon's friendship was and I was worried he'd chose you over me." I smiled lightly. "I understand." Her head shot up. "You do?" She questioned. I nodded "I'd feel the same way, but if you'd just gotten to know me you'd have realised that I seriously wouldn't go near him with a six foot pole." "Oi!" Simon shouted, offended. Talia laughed.
After almost an hour sat in the apartment it became considerably less awkward, and I realised that Talia was actually a really nice girl. Simon also apologised for pushing me away and since life's too short to hold grudges I easily forgave them both.
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chuuyasfanboy · 5 months
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No request with this one, just me being self indulgent because I'm an IDV addict again and I love Postman!!! Wrote this all while doing rank, congratulate me on multitasking
Paperboy x Reader
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I'm an avid believer in all the skins having different personalities
So while default Victor is more reserved (NOT shy, The Prince is the shy one), I believe Paperboy is the most extroverted right behind Keyboard
He's a different kind of extroverted though
He's more focused on his blog than real life people, and so most of the conversing he does is through online forums and the like
DOES NOT mean he's afraid of in person convos!
His whole propaganda gang is trying to get people to STOP relying on tech, of course he doesn't mind talking to people irl
He's way more outwardly neurodivergent than the other variants, could probably rant FOREVER about product design, logos, hmtl and css, etc. He's really passionate about what he does
He's definitely lacking in friends though, despite all that
Other than his Call of the Abyss gang, he really doesn't get to talk to many people
It's pretty saddening, because after the fourth (read: ten-thousandth) rant about Have Fun, the only one who will listen is Luca, maybe sometimes Will
He really doesn't mind, but he does wish he could tell more people about it, people he liked
This is where YOU come in!!!
Someone new to the squad, someone who's interested in what he has to say!
Plus, even if you don't understand any of it, he has a cute puppy, isn't that enough to lure you in?
Speaking of Wick (whomst I will be referring to with all pronouns because I've been told that dog is every gender and I don't know what to believe anymore), he's the sweetest puppy ever!
When she's not ruining Jose's little dj gigs and radioshows, they're the most well behaved dog you will ever meet!
Play fetch with it, he will bring the ball back and give you puppy kisses while she's at it!
Victor LOVES seeing the two of you interact, it makes his heart explode with joy
Yes, he does talk to Wick like they're a real person. No, you cannot stop him. No, he does not use a baby voice, he is entirely serious about it.
Write him letters, he's never gotten one, none of his variants have except for maybe Prince.
He'll be SO SO SO HAPPY he'll love you forever
That's probably what kickstarted his little crush, actually, because he definitely fell first AND harder
You probably sent him an anonymous fan letter, just trying to make sure he knew people liked his blogs
He nearly CRIED running around showing everybody else, and you just laughed all joyfully at his excitement
He vowed he would find out who wrote it and write them back a thousand more word of appreciation
Imagine his joy when he found out (read: doxxed the letter for info) it was you!!
Yeah, he actually cried this time
Happy tears, I swear!
He promised you he would never ever forget it, and you KNOW he didn't, because he still brings it up years later as the happiest day of his life
Since the Call of the Abyss movement advanced and began making a motion, he'd received so many more fan letters, messages on his blog, and other things of that nature
But yours? Pinned up on his wall, FRAMED in gold
Takes every chance he gets to show it off, even if everybodys seen it before
Back to more general headcanons, Victor is completely nonverbal
He communicates through his lil mask thing, projecting words on it
He also uses it for more practical things
Like spreading more anti-Metropolis propaganda!
When he wants you to understand some niche thing he's into, he projects a video essay on to the screen, makes you watch it like a movie
Even with his eyes obscured and his words filtered, he's still extremely expressive, and its easy to tell what he's feeling
His face goes REEEEED when he's flustered or embarassed
And his lips are so so cute when he pouts
The only person he actually talks to is Wick, he does it in private, very few people get to see it
Even with you and the others, he's never spoken, only grunted or giggled or something small to acknowledge what you've said
When the plan to expose the Aurora finally closed in, and the final day was approaching, he excitedly ran around showing off his latest design
The first real print he'd made, he'd been banned from most shops and had to be careful entering them because of the guards, so he hadn't gotten the chance to bring them into reality
But finally, after Luca managed to get him a nice printer and a lifetime supply of ink, he did it
They were gorgeous- or- not the right word
They were effective.
He's really a genius in the graphic design department, slaving away hours over his laptop creating the perfect logos to draw in attention
He was incredibly excited that he finally got to spread it the way he's always wanted to
And he really hopes its as effective as he's been told
Hopes that it will encourage people to go find the sun once more
Back to the cute fuzzy romance!
It's a little awkward to kiss him, considering he almost NEVER takes off his little mask
Sometimes he does, but he really wants to save it for when the sun rises on Metropolis, it's a big dream he has
You really have to tilt your head, but its very worth it
He's soft all around, hands, arms, lips
And also, he smells like lavender
Dont ask me how I know, but its canon, I was his perfume
He really likes flowers, even though he's only seen pictures
He thinks they're gorgeous, and he believes they'll smell even better in person, better than any scent a cheap perfume shop could provide (sorry Vera!)
While he may be hard to kiss, he loves hugs, the tighter the better
Even if he feels like he's being squeezed apart, the closeness makes him feel safe
He hopes sunlight feels that warm
Sometimes, he takes you out to the theatre to watch the Aurora
"To research," he'll tell you
But really, he's just a hypocrite
Even if she's false, she does have a beautiful voice
He would never deprive you of beautiful things
He figures two extra tickets can't do too much harm, right?
Take that unsure answer as you will.
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dotster001 · 1 year
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Omg, I'm in love with Twisted Earth, can you please do Scarabia and Pomefiore next?
Hello may i also request a Twisted earth story but with the savanaclaw and scarabia dorm please 🥺requested by @magicalsweetsyouth
Twisted Earth Part Four
Summary:Scarabia and Epel x gn!reader You are the game, they are real. Vil and Rook HC's here. Savannaclaw HC's here.
A/N:Omg some of y'all are starting to get ahead of me with your requests. I have some places I'll take this once I finish off everybody's initial HC's. I'm so happy you guys are enjoying these 🥺
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Five Part Six
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He was drawn in by the advertising. The colors, the designs, the music, the voices? Oh he was so excited to start playing! When he chose his initial character …it actually wasn't you. And he feels so bad about it now 🥺  You're his squishy baby, please forgive him, he'll make up for lost time.
Probably first was drawn in to you because of how drastically different your life is from his. Then he fell for you as he got more and more invested in your character's story.
As I said…you're his squishy baby. If you were real…Oh he gets so excited thinking about all the parties he'd throw for you, all the gifts he'd buy for you, all the CUDDLES HE'D GIVE YOU! (He has made Jamil bang his head against a wall multiple times when talking about you) he dreams of the two of you dancing together. That's what he'd do for a first date with you. He's already decided.
He has all your base cards, but none of your event cards. But he's not deterred! He WILL get one of your event cards one day, he's sure of it.
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Kalim's parents don't need parental blocks on Kalim. They have Jamil. Jamil saw Kalim playing the game and downloaded it to make sure it was appropriate, and that it wasn't giving him any weird ideas. 
It's now his guilty pleasure. He plays it right before bed since he never has any other time for it. He always sighs heavily like it's a chore to play right before he opens it, but he definitely enjoys it. 
You….he has a complicated relationship with you. In game he adores you. He thinks you're perfect, and you'd be perfect together. Irl, he knows you two might not get along as well, with you being, well, you, and him making…questionable… decisions sometimes. You'd get on like oil and water….but if he had the chance, he'd be willing to try.
He has every. Single. One. Of. Your. Cards. Everyone of them is at their max levels. Every one of them has been groovified. He is almost psychotic about it. 
Your crush is the only card he has that he doesn't take care of. Again, to a psychotic degree. Your cards are the only ones he's maxed out, but he generally takes care of most of his cards. Not your in game crush. Despite his realistic take on how you two would be irl, he for some reason can't look at them without his brows furrowing and his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip.
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He was playing it before the devs reached out to Vil for a review. It was his freedom away from his lessons where, playing as a peer named Yuu, he could interact with people who didn't care about his looks or behaviors. He could be as "masculine" as he wanted. (In quotation marks because Epel has some iffy views on what being a man means. I love him anyway 🥺)
Despite hating other people calling him cute…he thinks you are very cute. He is also certain you wouldn't call him cute, but "handsome" and "man of your dreams". He also just genuinely finds you to be a soothing presence. While some of your friends and coworkers cause chaos and various antics that move the plot along…you're just kind of there. A constant light. (You're the Silver, at least in his mind 😂)
He dreams of meeting you irl. He'd have you on his arm, and even Vil would be in awe of him. No one could call him cute with the cutest person ever on his arm. In exchange, he'd treat you like the deity you are. He'd get you anything you wanted and pamper you constantly.
He has three of your cards; a bunny cafe SSR, your casual R card, and your SR work outfit. He is so proud of these cards. Brags to anyone he finds who plays the game. Once Vil started playing, it was all he would talk about whenever he got mad at him.
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thesteriuswife · 6 months
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Today marks three years of Dianthus existing! I made my first concept sketches for her on 11/20/23 💖 this also means it's been three years of Diathesterius! I sometimes use the date I uploaded Dia to toyhouse, the 21st, as the anniversary date just in case I'm late... but I managed to finish colouring this <3 I had actually wanted to do something for this earlier in the month, I even made some very elaborate plans for it... but it ended up not happening! Which is okay 💞 but I still wanted to draw a little wedding piece... so I did! I'll make something fancier when I have more time later on... 💝 I used my own handwriting here for authenticity, but at some point... I'd like to be able to rewrite in Greek for More authenticity <3 Uncropped version (and long rambling post) under the cut 💕 I get a little Vulnerable so don't read it if you're gonna be mean or else I'll like Get You or something
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I've made posts in the past talking about why Theseus and Asterius mean so much to me, but I don't think I've made one on why Dianthus herself means so much to me.. so for her own third year anniversary, I'll do that here! before I begin...! the fruit in dia's hair here are from the strawberry tree, arbutus unedo. I associate the tree and its fruit with Theseus but... it's honestly been so long, I don't remember exactly why! Just that, for some reason, I imagine thathis childhood home had a tree of these fruit blossoming just outside his mother's room, and thus he has fond memories of it. Lady Dianthus... she who loves all things pink, actively hates celery, and still has a job at the library despite being so fogetful and clumsy... she who met Theseus and immediately became obsessed because it was the first interesting thing to happen to her- not a parent or someone she's close to, but herself! her first time feeling as if she had a true purpose. She who didn't understand Theseus' obsession with Asterius until meeting he Minotaur, and promptly decided "he's not scary? he's not scary at all! he's just a cow!" I've made sona and the likes before Dia of course, but she was the first in a long time who was truly meant to resemble me in all ways (except for the setting, of course...). I made her design simple so I would easily be able to redraw her, and gave her one of my favourite palettes pink and green and cream and gold. At first I really didn't expect to get that attached to her... I went months without drawing her after her initial creation. but the more I drew her the more I realized how much fun I was having with her...! It's funny looking back on it... originally I had a much more comedic idea for her story, and di not intend to ship her with Theseus in any serious way. It was going to be a completely one-sided love (with Dianthus taking the role of "crazed fangirl" - which she still is, in a way). I'm sure it isn't a surprise but it didn't take me long at all to start drawing ship art of them, creating artworks and writing of Theseus and Asterius was a self indulgent joy for me, so why not selfship art too? I ended up invested, of course. Using Dia I put a lot of my own feelings into a story; a sense of otherness, her loneliness, feeling lost and out of place. I had removed it later on because I felt uneasy with how vulnerable it was, but at one put I had placed one of the most traumatic events of my life into Dia's story- sometimes I think about adding it back, because I know giving her an oppurtunity to open up about it with her beloveds would be something beneficial to Me irl(!). But that's besides the point here... she's a stubborn girl, sweet but arrogant is my usual go-to descriptor for her; that's how I think of myself too, just based on what I've been told (I have a hard time thinking of myself as nice, though others always say so to me...). That may be part of why I tend to look for those features in (fictional!) lovers... something feels good to me about being able to butt heads due to this shared traits, but still coming together and making amends despite it. I do think it's a little funny that the sonas I've gotten the most attached to so far- Dianthus, and now Nerine- have some sort of theme of death with them. Dianthus is literally a ghost, and Nerine is metaphorically one (and maybe liteally, if I ever make up my mind...). Maybe that's just fitting for me, though... hmm... I'm not sure what else I want to say here... I think of Dianthus as "Me but in Hades Game / Ancient Greek context." Of course some events that happen in her life didn't happen to me, or, sometimes, I dramatize it (Dia's mother leaving her and her father to become the wife of a god was inspired by the fact that for the first few yers of my life, my parents were separated... but they always had a positive relationship with one another! Unlike Dia's parents), but she's become a big par
t of me all the same. Just as I am happy and hoping to spend many more years with Theseus and Asterius, I hope to spend many more years with her as well. i think that's all I'll write for now <3 if you read this thank you for being curious enough about me to be interested in all this 😭
btw, here's the first ever post of her... (yes thats my priv </3 i briefly unlocked it to search for this... don't try and follow me over there though it's crazy over there)
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My IRL ex who lives abroad now is dating my online friend who also lives there and I am deceiving them, AITA?
All of us are Asian, 29. Fake names are used.
My ex (Fred) was my childhood best friend, we grew up together in the same conservative society, people expected to see us marry since we were kids, all that jazz. At 18, we both moved away and kept up LDR. Moving meant big changes of course, I was in a huge city and I had internet access for the first time. I became a BTS fan in 2013, I started creating and reading a lot. I joined tumblr, made friends from all over the world. I was being radicalized rapidly, and I figured out I was bi too. My world was suddenly a million times bigger.
He however, didn't change much. He was scientific minded unlike most people here and his friends were all STEM kids but they were still functionally right leaning. He was racist when it came to BTS or East Asians in general. He was ignorant and happy to ignore queer existence, he used to say things like queer people needed to be shown the right path. We were turning out to be quite the opposites. Eventually we broke up. He was heartbroken, he tried to drag me back in many times and I avoided him like plague. I managed to ditch him completely when we were about 23. He left for USA to study.
Around the same time I befriended one of my closest online friends, Daphne. We lived in the same state but she was always traveling so we never got to meet. We're both hellsite veterans and keep our identities under lock & key so we don't know our real names or exact place of work, but we know each other's deepest kinks and childhood traumas, and stories about our exes. We both had the same kind of interests, politics, and fandoms, we're both bisexual. I've also come out as a trans man a few years ago and I go by a masculine name online, can't transition IRL. Daphne's known me since my girl era. Daphne left for USA last year for her Masters.
Now the wild part, by some twist of fate, Daphne met Fred who's also working on his Masters in an adjacent field. It is by no means a niche subject and USA is the fourth largest country, they still found each other. He sang in our first language at some party, he's very hot, and... he's into BTS like her. Wild. So they're now dating.
They started following each other on twitter and he followed a bunch of her friends including Me! We have exchanged pleasantries and while on his account he has his real name and location, mine is a mixed bag account with my fake name and my (sfw) queer creations all over it.
I know who He is but he doesn't know who I am, he thinks I'm just one of Daphne's dudes, and Daphne doesn't know that she's dating my ex who she had promised to drop into the Challenger's Deep (joke). My reasoning for hiding the truth is-- It's still not safe for me to be out IRL and he can mess it up. I remember his bigotry, I hate him, I have every right to avoid him and here that means not revealing my identity. But it's been years so maybe he has changed, and Daphne is my friend. So, I feel like a massive ahole for not telling her at least. At the same time she really did hate my racist homophobic right leaning ex a lot, so knowing the truth will make things awkward and I don't want to lose my friend.
So, there you have it. AITA?
BTW, no I'm not into BTS ships or reader insert fantasies, that's not what I create. I know someone would ask about it so there. I'm also Not attracted to Daphne, if I was I'd have asked her out straight away, I don't play around about my crushes.
What are these acronyms?
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