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#i love my scary lady tho
aifoemo · 4 months
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tamagotchikgs · 15 days
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i did end up coming extremely close to passing out after doing the starting stretches and maybe,,, 6 ? moves in the air :( so i had to go sit down n then i threw up whihc was very embarrassing but i dont think anyone noticed since it was around the corner in the garbage. im sad i had to miss out on another day tho ,,,,,,,, also,,, i feel like such a failure. i only got like 4 classes in before my ab injury n now this o(-< the instructor told me twice it's good i know my limits n to follow them and that she's proud of me for coming back but aaa,,,
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myundeadgayson · 1 year
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huh. so like. i was talking to my roommate about baths. and i’m describing how i usually only wash my hair when i take a shower bc when i take a bath, i don’t wanna do anything. i just wanna relax in the hot water. but instead of saying that, my dumbass self goes, “ya know. soup.”
she was so confused. so obviously i choose to continue to explain— “you know?? you’ve got the boiling water and if you add a bath bomb, then it’s like. ✨flavoring✨ but like. for the soup?”
and she’s just laughing and looking at me weird, so i keep going like, “yeah!! ya know, and if you add cute duckies and bath toys, those are like the ingredients! it’s like adding carrots! it’s soup!”
apparently when she’s in a bath, she thinks of places that are comforting to her. like oceans and pools and rivers. and all i can think about is how i can’t swim, so those places sound terrifying.
my comforting place tho? s o u p.
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nomaishuttle · 9 months
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awwww im so :]
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ozzgin · 5 months
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I love your reader insert stuff!! The yandere yazuka series was vvvv entertaining, I wish I had a big scary gangster to scare away my stalker lol
If you are open to requests, how about Idol!Reader x Yandere!Bodyguard. I love the trope so much, and I'm interested and what you'd do with the idea. No worries if you're not interested tho!
Best wishes
-🌟
I just finished writing it and you've got me punching the air with your prompt. It wasn't really my thing but I'm now sold. Thank you for the trope idea. :’)
Yandere!Bodyguard x Idol!Reader (I)
Short scenario featuring your bodyguard that takes his duty a little too seriously. Not that you’d mind…
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]
TW: violence
(Cover from the manga “A girl and her guard dog”)
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"Fantastic show tonight!"
The older man guides you in and closes the door behind him. You smile warmly and seat yourself on the sofa. He quickly follows, although at a terribly uncomfortable proximity. His legs are pressed against yours and he extends an arm behind you, pretending to stretch. You shuffle awkwardly and lock your hands in your lap. You can already tell where this is going.
"With your talent, I'm confident we could triple the number of attendants. We just need a bigger venue." He nods at you and taps your thigh with his other free hand as encouragement. You notice the wedding band digging into his skin. 
"Alas, let us not waste the evening with business talk. I'm sure a stunning lady like you has better things to do." He laughs at his own compliment and ponders for a minute. "In fact, why don't we have dinner together? I know a great restaurant in the area."
You open your mouth to speak, but are distracted by the sudden, mild pressure on your leg. Somehow, his greasy fingers have wandered further up in the time you listened to his shameless offer. You've been in this career for long enough to guess what such proposals entail. If you say no, best case scenario he presses further, calling you a stuck up bitch and reminding you who has the power in this partnership. Worst case scenario, he leaves the room and the calls and invitations to perform will gradually drop. 
Yet your situation is special, benefitting from an additional possibility. A loophole, if you may.
Should you scream? Oh, he always gets so angry when you act scared. It's an immediate trigger. He really has a soft spot for your glistening, frightened eyes. You glance up one final time at the perverted smirk silently disregarding you. If you are to be honest with yourself, you'd very much enjoy seeing it wiped off forever. Why not? You're feeling particularly mean today.
So without hesitation, you release a high pitched yell of help. The door bursts open and the hinges creak. A tall, toned man walks in, and without a word he lunges at the manager, pulling him by the collar of his cheap dress jacket. You hold your cheeks dramatically, and bat your eyelashes at your bodyguard.
"H-he tried to molest me..." you mumble between sobs.
That's all he needs to proceed. Now the real fun begins. You can hear the muffled screams of protest. The bones crack and the flesh bends under his iron fists. Standing before your bodyguard, they all end up looking like ragdolls. Comically limp and weak, folding and breaking with no resistance. It amuses you greatly.
When did it all begin? You can't remember anymore. You were in your early years and this scary looking stranger entered your little backstage room. His explanation was brief and to the point: as your fame increases, so will the threats to your safety. He was appointed as your bodyguard. You couldn't care less, so you just shrugged. 
You've always been on the playful side. Not necessarily rude, just some innocent tease and banter wherever it's well received. Seeing him so quiet and stoic, you couldn't help but try to push his buttons: changing in front of him and requiring his assistance, occasionally asking him to pick you up and carry you because you could no longer walk. Naturally you would've stopped at the first complaint, but that's the strange part: no reaction ever came. He went along with everything. You assumed it's part of the job. Celebrities aren't known for their good manners, so hiring someone that loses their temper easily would be a fast ticket to termination.
Then you had your first encounter with one of the unpleasant fans you've been warned about. You could only stare in terror at your bodyguard's feral, unhinged reaction. The unfortunate fan's face was so disfigured, you wondered if anyone could ever manage to fix it back into shape. The bodyguard was panting and you could see the sweat coating his face and chest. You were rather confident there were many other ways to deal with it and this wasn't on the recommended list. Thus you felt compelled to ask the million dollar question:
"You act like a jealous spouse. Do you have a crush on me or something?"
You kind of regretted your audacity towards a man that had just nearly killed someone. But his features softened instantly and he turned to you, wiping his forehead and straightening his collar. 
"I suppose so. Is that an issue?"
As you stared ahead, processing his unbothered act, you sensed your cheeks feverishly burning. Uh oh. You hadn't anticipated such a nonchalant confession. You thought back to all the times you stood before him, bare and flirty. Was he merely holding back his urges the entire time? Or was he finally paying you back for all the teasing? Then again, his face didn't betray any hint of humor.
"I've never heard you joke before", you decided to test the waters.
"I'm not. Why would I joke about something like this?" He gazed at you incredulously. 
As somber and honest as ever. Well, that would indeed explain why he'd let you get away with the cheeky behavior. The more you considered it, the more entranced you became with the idea of indulging in such a relationship. As a famous idol, you couldn't be seen dating anyone. One rumor of you having a boyfriend and the agency would've had your ass suspended. But no one said anything about messing around with your bodyguard. He has to be with you all the time, so no one would suspect a thing. And you could definitely expand his list of responsibilities. You'd been terribly stressed lately, after all, and an outlet to release your frustrations would be most welcomed. Your bodyguard would never refuse pleasing his beloved.
You chuckled and pulled him towards your dressing room, giddy with excitement. Something about his imposing presence, like a wild animal that had just escaped from the leash, aroused you to no end. You've had your share of crazy fans, but this was the cherry on top. 
"Should we leave?"
You're jolted out of your daydreams by his low, rough voice. Ah, you missed the grand finale. Too bad. The bodyguard approaches you, with the shirt wrinkled and the top buttons popped open under the shuffle of his vicious attack. You can feel the knot forming in your stomach.
"Not yet. You know how I get when you act like this..." You pout and look away. "You need to take care of me first."
He grins at your last statement.
"Of course. Is the sofa okay?"
You nod.
"Then let's get you undressed, miss."
Is this what they call a scary dog privilege? 
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lewisvinga · 4 months
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that’s my girl | lance stroll x fem! reader
summary; lance’s fans hated y/n for her personality and willingness to defend him and herself at any cost. however, their views on her change when a fan meets her and posts all about it
fc; tara yummy
warnings; suggestive comments
taglist; @namgification
note; requested! i’ve been obsessed w tara yummy lately but yall my requests are closed atm, i’ll open them soon once i finish w the requests i have rn 😫 so pls bear w me n be patient 🙏
masterlist !
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liked by lance_stroll, lilymhe, and others!
yourusername: my man bought me chanel. sick.
username: not her not tagging lance…
yourusername: don’t want people looking at what’s mine 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
lance_stroll: acting like you weren’t begging for a bag and a pair of shoes🤣
yourusername: not u exposing me 😩
lance_stroll: just telling the truth 🤫
lance_stroll: anything for my girl❤️
yourusername: wahhh
username: i wanna be like y/n
yourusername: to be like y/n, u gotta have the y/n mindset 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️
username: she ate this tho icl
username: ugh i don’t like her, she’s such a gold digger and it’s so obvious
yourusername: gold digger is when girl receives bags from millionaire boyfriend🤕
username: she’s so ugly and unclassy, idk why lance is dating her
yourusername: you’re pretty unclassy, but while we’re at it, lance just made out w me 😁😁
lilymhe: WOWWWW you’re so hot i can treat u better than him
yourusername: i can treat u better than alex bae
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liked by lance_stroll, carmenmmundt, and others
yourusername: i 🖤 st tropez
username: here she goes again w the not tagging him💀💀💀
yourusername: big deal , i’m literally sitting on him and he watched me post this 🥱🥱
username: THE SECOND PICTURE???? IS SO???😩😩😩😩😩
username: omg the second picture i’m gonna go crazy
username: who even took the last picture?
yourusername: my boyfriend 🔥
lance_stroll: beautiful as always😍
yourusername: gonna give you a big fat kiss
username: i actually like her but he’s all daddy’s money, she should date some other driver who earned his spot
yourusername: LMFAOOO, babe most drivers on the grid ARE nepo babies and come from rich families 💀 yall just mad that lawrence is a loving father 🤕🤕
username: she ate this one thing up
username: i love her idc attitude idk
username: i don’t! she’s so mean and disrespectful to lance’s fans, it’s so nasty
yourusername: no i just defend myself and lance, maybe if yall weren’t coming at my neck every 5 seconds i’d be nicer 🥱🥱
carmenmmundt: GORGEOUS 😍
yourusername: NOOO YOUU😩
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liked by lance_stroll, yourusername, and others
f1wagupdates:
a fan met y/n l/n while in new york city! she said that y/n was super nice, complimented her outfit, and even introduced her to lance! turns out the black cat of the paddock is super sweet!
tagged; yourusername, lance_stroll
username: her smile :( she looks so sweet
username: ugh i love her idc what yall think
username: omg omg i was that girl, she even gave me her lip gloss bc i asked about the shade😩
yourusername: lmk what u think bb bc the formula is so chefs kiss
username: omg shes in nyc??? i need to meet her nowww
yourusername: for a couple more days, may or may not pop up in saks tmrw at noon🤭
username: y’all were just bitter she’s dating your fave!! y/n will always be her
username: u could never catch me hating on mother
yourusername: i promise you guys i’m not scary😩😩 i’ll just defend my man or myself whenever 🤷‍♀️
lance_stroll: y/n is the sweetest girl i’ve ever met. she’s made me the happiest man ever. hating on her means hating me. i would take legal action against some people who leave nasty comments but y/n’s against it. she’s the best girl i could ever ask for. liked by yourusername, f1wagupdates and others!
lance_stroll: but that’s my girl ❤️
lance_stroll: and that ladies and gentlemen is how to make the y/n l/n giggle
yourusername: STOP EXPOSING ME😖
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hotdogdynamitezzz · 1 year
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Spicy Astro Observations 18+
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This is really just a filler post for my december schedule because the content I've promised has taken so long to write on and off between my finals. I'd like to thank college for these notes, enjoy ig 💘
🌶 Libra Mars are actually quite dominant in bed, it’s so unexpected but I think they’re so good with dirty talk they just naturally know how to control a situation. Degrading others in bed oddly turns them on? for such a sweet sign I think they let their crazy and angry side loose in the bedroom as they always appear sweet and professional in every other space. Very much so lady in the streets freak in the sheets if you will.
💘 A Libra venus will want princess treatment in bed tho, they are the ones wanting to be taken care of and pleased 10000% they also wear the best lingerie hands down. You say one out of pocket thing and they are gone yall, although they like to be experimental! So switch it up.
🌶 Leo mars can sometimes be too controlling or demanding in bed, same with the moon in 8th house men I’ve noticed. In general, sex is lowkey overhyped with fixed-sign men because a lot of them just tell you what to do and order you around, which could be your vibe if you’re hella sub. But if you’re a dom the fixed sign men I’d go for are Scorpio venus & Aquarius moons. They like to be dominated from what I’ve noticed and are open to experimenting.
💘 Those who want to be treated like a princess and praised are libra + leo placements. Basically they have a praise kink lmao.
🌶 Uranus aspecting the ascendant or 7th house in any way usually is an indicator the individual is more open to polyamorous relationships or experimentation from what I’ve seen. it doesn’t always have to be uranus aspecting venus or mars but because the Ascendant - Descendant axis represents our perspective of the world and how others view us, I have noticed they are more open to the lgtbq+ community.
💘 Neptune in the 5th house people are definitely subs from what I’ve seen, they like to be taken care of and edged on until they cry LMFAO but they prefer some element of fantasy and a lot of foreplay to really engage them and turn them on or else it’s just not happening. You need to take them to another realm babes. Also highkey squirters
🌶 Venus/Moon aspecting Neptune in a 0 - 4° orb is also kinda known for squirting.
💘 Venus square Jupiter people and their sex drive is..scary 💀 Honestly they struggle to control their sex drive, these mf’s cannot go a week without sex it’s too hard for them. They find desire and indulge in it a lot, they also love sensual activities and games in bed. Usually there’s an element of power play involved and don’t forget to body worship them lmaoo. I actually see the individuals prefer being doms as well.
🌶 Aries venus men ARE NOT DOMS TBH it shocked me because Aries is the most masculine sign, but venus in a mans chart represents what they look for in women, what will turn them on and such. Therefore, they tend to favour bolder and more dominant women who make the first moves. I've heard a lot of them talking about how their DREAM is to get pushed against a locker by a hot girl and she makes out with them😭💀 - thanks college gossip.
💘 Scorpio & Capricorn mars is all about that BDSM sorry not sorry...same goes for Mars square Uranus which is funny, they like to fight their way to freedom ig lol? Also include Saturn - Mars as Saturn rules over chains & bondage.
^ most likely Capricorn mars likes to be tied up while Scorpio mars likes to be the one in control and tying the person up.
🌶 We know the mercurial signs are great at oral, but PISCES AND SCORPIOS compete for the oral queens and kings title too omg. Scorpio rules the genitals while pisces rules over liquids so...you can see how this plays out HAHA. Pisces can also just drive you over the edge easily? scorpio likes to drag it out while pisces prefers to deliver a fantasy.
💘 Virgo venus people are NOT as innocent as they seem. They LOVE degradation and being sub af, the sign that serves? yeah they gonna do whatever it takes to get you off bae and thoroughly enjoy the process. THEY PAY ATTENTION TO DETAILS TOO! if they find something that turns you on they will be sure to explore it more. Every virgo venus/mars person gives off hot librarian vibes and you just know a lot of them are kinky lol
🌶 Taurus venus is more vanilla but in a sensual and indulgent fashiom as they wanna be comfy and cute while fully embracing pleasure. Most likely they prefer to be taken care of in bed, sucking on their throat is their biggest turn on. They are extremely romantic, the type to get the mood going and prepare roses on the bed. They like things simple and hot because they know what they want.
💘 Leo & Scorpio placements shaking hands on their creampie and corruption kinks help omg LOL. Nothing turns a leo on more than stroking their ego with knowing they’re your first, they get on a power trip fr. As luminaries, they just like knowing they have the effect to influence you. It's always Leo Moon or Mars I've seen this with
🌶 As for Scorpios corruption & creampie kink I've noticed Scorpios are really into wholesome or innocent people? Just completely opposite of their darker personalities. Wanting to ruin someone turns thems on a lot because scorpio rules over power imbalance so Ig thats why. Scorpio also rules over regeneration, life & death so creampies kinda fits in the birth category yknow
💘 Cancer placements also have a weird tendency to be complete doms or subs and nothing in between, they like to give orders which I find funny because it is so not associated with their stereotypes. But in general the sweet zodiac signs ARE REALLY KINKY FOR SOME REASON. 
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🌶 Aquarius mars and public sex is actually insane, and the rumours are true a lot of aqua moons I’ve met fantasize about threesomes and orgies. They’re just as much into voyeurism as Sagittarius mars is.
💘 Aquarius Mars also LOVES sex toys, especially vibrators. They literally act like they gonna perform a scientific experiment on your pussy help I can’t
🌶 Every pisces sun man I’ve met is straight up addicted to porn, idc if anyone thinks they’re innocent and cute. THEY HAVE PROBLEMS LMAOO.
💘 A lot of sagittarius mars women I’ve met are doms and love body worship, i think body worship is definitely connected to Jupiter as Zeus is associated with that planet. So y’know, treat them like a god and you will be rewarded lol.
🌶 Speaking of which, Sagittarius rising women are just the most fun people ever, in and out of the bedroom you will literally never get bored they are so funny and cool. I simp for them fr
💘 Neptune or Pisces in the 5th house could be into LSD or acid trips while they have sex, they prefer to use alcohol or some form of substance to lessen their anxiety, they could also highkey be sex addicts as the 5th house is our hobbies and entertainment.
🌶 Mars & Pluto in the 5th house LOVE angry sex, they are the people who have makeup and breakup sex the most I swear, they relieve their stress by having sex.
💘 Those with Gemini/Virgo/Mercury in the 8th house could like handcuffs a lot. I know a girl with this that has a kink for having her hands cuffed and not being able to see.
🌶 If you’re crushing on a Scorpio placement, just make them laugh and get them a little jealous. They will get obsessed, I feel like this is why they tend to have relationships with Geminis so often? because Geminis know how to rile people up, crack a joke or two, and seem unbothered in the process. I have never known a Scorpio venus to be into someone without getting jealous first oops-
💘 Mars in the 6th house is a secret man whore placement, they don’t seem like fuckboys but they use physical activity for their mental health and most often I’ve noticed their way of healing is through sex, and more sex PFFT. 
🌶 12th house stelliums and their fantasies of a person that doesn’t even know they exist lol. To get their attention just randomly pop up to help them once in a while but not too often so they feel special but are curious about you. Doing little things for them yet keeping the mystery and suspense of a crush alive is what keeps them fantasizing tbh.
💘 It’s why 12th house people love virgo placements so much, because virgos always randomly appear to help a pisces/12th house person. While on the other hand the pisces/12th house person devotes themselves and their personal time completely because they can’t see boundaries. It’s cute but I fear for y’all seriously 😀 get some boundaries plz
💘 Scorpio moons please avoid sagittarius & gemini moons at all costs until they’ve matured because a sag moon gets bored easily, moves on, will honestly ghost, and loves to not notify anyone. I know how anxious and paranoid scorpio moons can get and honestly a sag or gemini moon will only worsen your fears and trauma. Everytime I've seen this combination it's ALWAYS the gemini or sag moon leaving the scorpio moon heartbroken and ghosted 🥲
🌶 Sagittarius moons are free spirits, they cannot be tied down but they aren't always cheaters. I'd say their non-committal style differs from gemini in the sense that it will take A LOT to actually get into a relationship with a sag moon and once they're in its unlikely they cheat. While Gemini moons do get bored easily and jump into relationships so they seem to talk to other people and could perhaps cheat.
💘 Scorpio moons will say bs to get you in bed, they are sweet talkers and kinda act like fboys if they're not that into you so just beware. But so will many other moon signs like gemini, pisces & libra lol. It's not always but, these are the fuckboy moon signs from my experiences that will get you attached first.
But their game is good, worth it imo 👌
🌶 Pisces moons are SOO attentive in the bedroom, they will provide everything you want and make you feel so special it’s impossible to not become emotionally attached after you’ve done the deed tbh.
💘 I've noticed people with Saturn, Jupiter or Mars in their 8th House like it rough to the point of begging, they literally wanna see their partner crumble underneath them I’m not even joking...they also are really horny 24/7 because with mars in the 8th house they just have the desire for sex and release tension through it, same with Mars in 5th house. While Jupiter & Saturn can point to difficulties with controlling their sex drive, it’s either wayy too much or they’re celibate for a year. Very all or nothing type of people.
🌶 Leo placements literally wanna be caught fucking someone, again I’M NOT KIDDING they like to be shown off and know other people want them too, very similar to Aquarius mars and gets horny off of anything that feeds their ego tbh. 
💘 Mercury conjunct Venus/Mars people think about sex so much they get horny easily, they are actually the most under-rated horny placement. They don’t just sweet talk or dirty talk their way into your pants but they seem to have a lot of wet dreams and really be into having sex while performing another mental task like video games or smth. Yall secretly so freaky huh 😀
🌶 Venus/Moon in your 12th house makes you wet 24/7 it's like the ocean which is a very 12th house theme. For men it would be their Mars in 12th house. They're horny 24/7 I swear it's actually concerning.
💘 It's kinda hard to get a capricorn mars person turned on, it takes a lot of effort but they can last a while so it's worth it ig. But foreplay is gonna be a while okay, they like to take their time.
🌶 Mars & Mercury in 3rd/5th house people get bored easily during sex so make it competitive and include fun games. They also are the type to flirt with someone out of spite and play mind games. Not always again but- its never dull. They love the drama aspect in relationships tbh, it has to be passionate and fun or they don't fw you.
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SORRY IM LATE TY FOR THE TAGS @lady-merian and @tsfennec!!
Are you named after anyone?:
my second name is from my late grandma!
When was the last time you cried?:
Two nights ago?
Do you have any kids?:
Nope! Haven't even had a romantic relationship yet LMAO
What sports do you play/have you played?:
honestly none LOL, my parents didn't really let me play sports because I have a heart condition. But I sometimes shoot hoops with my siblings, and I bike
Do you use sarcasm?:
Yeah, but honestly not as much as I'd like LOL. I tend to be more sarcastic when I'm annoyed tho
What is the first thing you notice about people?:
Their vibes?? I don't know how to explain it LOL, but like just the vibes they give off and whether I think we'd get along or not LOL
What's your eye color?:
Really dark brown! You need to see it in sunlight to really see how it looks though
Scary movies or happy endings?:
Scary movies are fun, but I'm gonna have to go with happy endings! And not just because they make me feel happy lol. I just have a deeper, more nuanced love for happy endings while scary movies are just for fun
Any talents?:
I mean, I think I'm decently musically gifted (and the only reason I know this is because I've never really had any lessons LOL). But I definitely think there's an experience aspect to it. I'd also like to believe I have some talent in writing and photography, although I'm more confident in saying that they're skills I have instead 🤣
Where were you born?:
Somewhere in a hospital in the Philippines
What are your hobbies?:
Writing, reading, photography, doodling, lettering
Do you have any pets?:
We have the family dog, a dachsund named Lila!
How tall are you?:
Short. Most adults are taller than me 😭
Favorite subject in school?:
English and literature
Dream job?:
Maybe a barista LOL, ooh or a candymaker for those hard candies. A baker might be fun too, or a teacher. A florist is starting to sound fun too! I don't think I can be a writer mainly sadly, but I want a job where I'd have time to do that still.
No pressure tags!!!: @dont-do-rice-babes, @choasuqeen, @kenandeliza, @offendedteaspoon, @rose-red-ink @youjustfeelthemforever, @rainintheevening, @nerdywriter36, @brendadaaedestler, @ladyphlogiston, @darling-gemini, @the-laurenceboy, @theragamuffininitiative, @rumpletrumple, @madlybattymontague, @its-a-hare-pom-pom
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Homestuck Mythical Creature au / Cryptid Au
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Very tempted to make an ask blop :p need to see if anyones inch rested
thought processes under the cut (bc some choices are wild)
Johns a pooka, an irish fae trickster who shapeshifts into animals. his favorite form is the bunny. john and jane are both fae, so their pranks range from harmless to mentally scaring to life altering. absolute chaos grimlins. dirk is also an irish myth, so he knows them well and is often trying to get them to not ruin the local population of humans. so they do pranks on him insted. john loves to steal dirks head and hide it places.
rose speaks to the eldritch horrors and is slowly becoming one herself. she wants to become a litch.
Dave is a harpy! a very chill one who doesn't tend to sing with his full chest, so people dont start crashing into his doorstep. dave dies in some magic accident that caused davesprite to rise up from the ashes. but dave harpy is ALSO fine no ones really sure how. may have been roses doing.
Jade is a werewolf obv. but shes also a witch and has formed a coven with rose and roxy.
Jane is ur avrage fae faerie/sprite. her favorite fae rule to get people to break is "dont eat their food."
Roxy is both a cat who is also a wizard i need not elaborate
Dirk is a headless horseman. not to be confused with THE headless horse man. thats another dullhan with a well paying halloween gig. dirk is often subject to losing his head, so he made a magic pumpkin to pilot the body when this happens. he does have a very large and scary but beautiful horse.
Jake is the bigfoot. and one of the most well hunted (and well travled) cryptids. thus, his friends often make jokes of not ever seeing him except in blurry images. its not his fault hes very large and loves to travel! and is also not very photogenic...
Aradia is a monthra!!! however she made a deal with a devil and became a ghost... not sure WHY yet or why it kills her. but it does. its all in her plan or smth, but that doesnt stop sollux from being very upset that hes the one that has to take and keep her soul. she is reserected later by the coven, still soulless but it doesnt matter bc her soul is in good hands and thus she still feels it. shes much happier now.
Tavros is a minotar self explanatory he is a small minotar, tho. a mini minotar if u will.
Sollux is ur run of the mill soul for potato chip demon. an excuse to give him twin tails and horns. him an kitkat gave me the most trouble! but then i went with a solkat devil angel motifi and im kinda attached t9 it now. even if its sorta a cop out. i simply couldnt find twin creatures that werent gods or children of gods. nor any crab creatures...
Karkat is an angel. he WAS human notably he was human for awhile even good friends with kanaya before he died. he never found love but helped so many with theres that he became an angel that was a lot like cupid. thus he was a small angel incharge of match making and also likened to a baby and hes very much NOT happy about this. it pisses him off, solluxs often gives him a hard time. about it. (extra angst is that kitkats also really fucked up about never knowing what love felt like but having to give it to others. and he has it in his head that that means he never will know, bc no ones matchmaking the matchmaker. but theres a song he hears everyonece anwhile by a stray harpy that makes him feel a lot lighter.)
Nepeta is my go to cat creature a nekomata. a two tailed cat yokai.
Kanaya is a vampire. obviously.
Terezi is a dragon! still blind! still licks. but can now transform and has wings, very scary. shes basiclly just her lusus lmao.
Vriska is a spider lady. i have arachne here bc its similar, but shes not arachne the myth proper. shes just a spider with the top part of a woman at the head. A Jorogumo a spider lady yokai and is basically actually what im picturing.
Equius is a centar and fuck if i ever have to draw him....
Gamzee is a clowwwn, just a clown, just a silly lil guy. What do you MEAN clowns arnt mythical creatures??? what do u mean u saw him under ur bed when you were a child? u must be mistaken. as a nod to ICPs boogieman. when gamzee is not high as a kite and is just a clown, he is one of the most terrifying and unkillable creatures known to children kind.
Eridan is a selkie. basiclly a mermaid but part seal. personally, I'd like to make him part seahorse. but not in the hippocampus way. i chose this bc he can shapeshift, thus he pretends to be a high elf sorcerer, yes he does get dunked on about this.
And finally, Feferi is a siren! who happens to be able to become very VERY **VERY** BIG. she doesnt lure people to drown them but she DOES love to keep live captives in cages :)
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The gang + Tim & Curly dealing with a dark feminine lady who is oblivious to the fact she’s so seductive
<3
Ofccccc pookie
Ponyboy Curtis
-he gets so flustered by you
-with your low, sultry voice
-seriously you could ask him what time it is and he’d be like 🥵🥵🥵🥵
-and your dark but not quite gothic, feminine outfits
-he doesn’t know many other people like you
-he feels so immature next to you
-but you have a crazy ability to make him feel things he’s never felt before
-memorized different things about you
-he asked you out with your favorite kind of chocolate and you said yes
-super cute together
Johnny Cade
-whoa
-you’re like… his dream
-he’s really attracted to you
-he thinks about you a lot, especially late at night in the lot
-he never has enough courage to go up to you and do anything about it tho
-if you ever talk to him in school he’d be so quiet while internally screaming
-one day you see him with a black eye
-you put a delicate hand on his cheek, making sure he’s ok
-he never really got fully over that
-definitely touched his own cheek after you let go like wow
-until one day dally mentions you and Johnnycake
-well
-he gets a bit defensive
-which is when dallys like you like her don’t you
-and Johnny doesn’t answer, only the tips of his ears turning red
-so dally literally pushes him towards you
-and he finally asks you out, and you say yes
-you guys are so in love with eachother
Sodapop Curtis
-he sees you walk into the DX one day
-he’s immediately interested
-I mean,it’s not every day he sees a girl like you
-you have this certain confidence
-a suggestive smirk and perfect eyeliner
-it’s attractive to say the least
-before long he asks you out
-yall are cute though
-red rose x sunflower vibes from you both
Darry Curtis
-he sees you walking by the house
-fully pops his head out the window to get a better look
-hot damn
-you’re on his level
-I mean, he’s very attracted to you
-he started asking around about you and no one seemed quite to know much
-so he went up to you and found out for himself
-and even talking to you made his knees weak, you so effortlessly came off as seductive
-after a while you two become close friends and before long
-he asks you out and you ofc say yes
-very cute couple 10/10 you’re both very mature and supportive of eachother
-ponyboy would have a crush on you tho lowkey 💀
Dallas Winston
-holy shit
-it’s not often he sees someone like you around
-you two definitely met whenever he harassed you on the street
-you simply cross your arms, and turn to him with a coolly neutral stare
-“Talk like that again to me and I’ll cut off your most valuable asset.” You’d snarl, walking away
-and leaving him with a smirk on his face, but he stops making the remarks
-over time he asks you out and you eventually say yes after several rejections
-but you two are a good couple
-pretty scary to run into though
Two Bit Mathews
-he sees you and
-you honestly seem so… grounded it’s hard to make jokes about you
-but he somehow manages
-but whenever you let out that low chuckle in response to his stupid jokes
-oh girl you don’t even know what you’re doing to him 💀😭💅
-that’s when he realizes like oh my lord he has some feelings for you
-when you two end up dating
-you make an amazing couple
-you keep him grounded, and calm and he keeps you laughing and having fun
Steve Randle
-he didn’t even think you realized
-what you were doing
-leaning against that car in that low cut, short dress
- you raised your eyebrows
-and he realized he’d been staring for a solid five minutes
-he’s dumbstruck by you
-your car had broken down and he was helping you fix it
-when it was done you simply said “Thanks, handsome.”
-and tipped him quite well
-after a while of friendly banter you two get pretty flirty
-end up making out in your car
-then dating
-super cute together 🫶
Tim Shepard
-it’s giving mobster/gangster wife tbh
-he was in love with you as soon as he saw you
-seducing eyes, a charming nature, cunning… never hot headed but always aware
-you were absolutely gorgeous
-and you make his knees weak in a way that most people aren’t able to
-with the most everyday things
-you’d also make an amazing trophy wife
-but you were so much more
-clever, you knew how to get anyone down on their knees in less than a minute
-he knew you’d be a valuable ass…. Asset to him
-you guys are a power couple fr
-he catcalled you when he met you like Dally 💀💀
Curly Shepard
-you both clash
-you were seductive, dark, mature, with deep eyes and a sharp look that could kill
-him…. Well he was a reckless punk
-you two ran in the same circles though
-and became quite good friends
-you kept him out of a lot of situations
-and looked good doing it too
-he doesn’t think you realize how crazy you drive him
-even just looking at him, biting your lip whenever you patch him up in concentration
-he checks you out when he thinks you aren’t looking
-you’ve known this entire time
-and whenever you confronted him about it you two end up making out
-the rest is history
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barblaz-arts · 2 months
Note
Last Hazbin character ask, thoughts on Emily, Sera, Lute, and Pentious (you forgot him when talking about main characters)?
Emily
You mean the love of my life???? I am very normal about her.
Lol but fr tho she's in my top favorite characters right after Vaggie and Charlie. She's just so sweet and kind. I love characters who remain that way even after their world view is challenged, just with less naivety. Characters who are so morally good are just so especially interesting to me in a show like Hazbin Hotel that's just filled with assholes of every flavor(with some more redeemable than the others ofc).
Seeing her get mad at Sera was so satisfying btw. Righteous/protective anger looks so good on sweet characters like Charlie and Emily.
Her singing voice is also one of my favorites, along with Charlie, Lucifer and Carmilla. Recently found out that she was one of the talented ladies who sang in the First Burn mv for Hamilton too. She's the third girl that appears, coming in for the harmony. Seeing her sing in a song with Rachel Ann Go feels like a crazy crossover for a Filipino like me because Rachel Ann is a famous singer over here.
youtube
Sera
I think she's a neat character! The type of self-righteous, classist christian I'd avoid like the plague irl, but so fascinating as a character. I'm really curious as to what direction the story will take her to. I can more or less guess the case for other characters, but I can't quite pinpoint the goal for Sera, because I'm not quite sure yet if she's gonna be truly a bad person like Adam and Lute. She could either double down on refusing to let sinners into heaven or see the error of her ways. The former is probably more likely, but I'm not opposed to idea of the latter happening.
Lute
Logical brain: she deserves to suffer so much more for what she did to Vaggie and calling her love for Charlie "vile and blasphemous"
Sapphic brain: ... Scary angel lady hot tho...
Jokes aside, I'd love to see what kinda antagonist she'd be as the one calling the shots instead of just being Adam's sidekick this time. I wanna see her spiral and just become worse and worse. I also need a rematch between her and Vaggie that's a little more fair, where Vaggie is now more used to fighting again. With the whole one-eye VS one-arm thing making it even more even.
Sir Pentious
My boy!!!!! I really didn't expect to like him as much as I do. I liked him fine in the pilot, but they made him so dang cute in the show. You can tell Alex Brightman loved voicing him too. I really hope we get to see what he's up to in heaven. I'm proud of him for being first to ascend, but im scared some angels might be wary or even threatened by his presence in heaven. They do have a pretty bad track record with snakes after all.
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beauspot · 1 year
Text
ok i’ve had time to sit with this viewing of wakanda forever and im only going to try to add things i haven’t spoken about before UNLESS my opinion on something has changed. i do have namuri and okoyuma brainrot so excuse any shipper nonsense you don’t care about 🥴
L O N G P O S T 👇🏾
Small Details I Noticed:
as t’challa was being carried to the city of the dead after the funeral two wakandan ships cross in the sky like they’re doing the wakandan salute
when ramonda meets with the united nations she wears purple and gold symbolizing how she’s “taking care of business” like killmonger
the color red is associated with tradition in wakanda and everything new is associated with the color the blue and blue typically is associated with what element? water
aneka and ayo are so cute 😙
the shift from background music to it being diegetic sirens was masterful
i couldn’t figure out why namor said shuri was the first surface dweller in talokan but he had a suit. then i realized duh it was from the start of the movie 🥴
Why does no one go for the Talokanil masks
t’challa falls in love with a river tribe girl, ramonda finds comfort by sources of water I don’t find it coincidental at ALL her whole family has ties to water.
every time he issues a threat Namor is looking at Ramonda but when he sets the shell down to ask them to call? he looks at shuri.
shuri wears white while she’s working in her lab because she’s still in a mourning period.
shuri’s tribe wears red namor is represented(partially) by blue and what color does shuri wear when she’s taken to his domain? purple.
I JUST REALIZED T’CHALLA JR IS THE KID THAT WALKED UP TO RAMONDA
NAMOR IS NOT THE VILLAIN. IMMEDIATELY AFTER HE TOLD SHURI THE SURFACE WOULD ATTACK THEY CUT TO A SCENE OF THEM PLANNING TO ATTACK WAKANDA
attuma is down horrendous he ain’t even join the fight in wakanda he just went looking for okoye. STAND UP.
namor and shuri pausing to stare at each other before she shoots cause they really don’t want to fight 😐
people keep saying ross’ scenes weren’t necessary and yet fully missed that namor was proved right by his scenes
N’Jadaka TOLD YALL ramonda gave her life to save riri. (doesn’t justify namor’s actions but don’t take away her agency)
shuri’s panther ears on her helmet point down like she’s ready to pounce whereas t’challa’s pointed up showing he was docile
shuri’s actions fully show us namor’s origin and how he ends up as adamant and stubborn as he is. their hatred turned them into warmongers shuri is just able to stop herself before she does something truly irreversible.
namor is such a loser he really thought shuri was finna call him on his shellphone.
in the midst of everything she remembers holding hands with namor as they watched the sunrise…hm.
Random Thoughts I Had During the Movie:
That chairman who introduced Ramonda was fine as hell
That french lady shook her head like her men ain’t break into that lab that’s wild.
Attuma’s first entrance (on the ship) had me grinning from ear to ear like “HEY BIG DADDY!”
Namor can really be brutal as fuck. The way those agents were screaming as their helicopter was spun into the ocean was scary as hell! (i’m still on his side tho ✋🏾🫱🏾liik’ik talokan)
hi anderson cooper!
i wonder why ramonda cut her hair
when shuri told her mother K’uk’ulkan was covered in vibranium he looked at her like “oh so you looked me over?” 😁
the jibari are hilarious
mbakus very silly but he has a big heart and is clearly very wise
nah okoye is right the midnight angel suit is u g l y
i cannot fully express how annoying i find de fontaine
riri my darling baby girl i love you
okoye don’t look ashy and i’m tired of them coming at my good sis
okoye is so funny 😭
the car chase scenes are always the best in these movies
i need the wakanda forever script
attuma GROWLED at okoye just kiss already
i like that attuma got his own whale and everybody else gotta share
ross is such a smol little guy who’s scared of him 🥴
angela was acting her ass off we know this but you know who else? danai. yup. i should watch the walking dead
everybody in this movie fine as hell
nakia should be in more avengers movies
nakia grew them dreads fast
their shaman was fine too everybody is HOT
why is de fontaines hair purple she looks twelve
if namor got in my face like that i’d kiss him idk
shuri fully forgot she was wearing that man’s bracelet until it was pointed out to her
mbaku’s face when he saw that whale underwater took me out.
see namor dodging shuri’s fire makes no sense he literally stands still when he’s being fired at initially and then hits the ship fire out of the air with his spear.
riri don’t listen cause ramonda definitely told her ass to run
i just-don’t get namor sometimes because he fully could have killed the scientist and shuri and he clearly doesn’t care about eternal war he just DOESN’T DO IT.
Nakia’s funeral outfit is beautiful
i will fully admit that the beauty of tenoch blinded me to namor’s brutality. that man is vicious.
aneka is so funny
iron heart has such a cute anime suit i kinda love it and hate it
we’ll probably see a different one since she can’t take it home though.
there’s something so silly about the way shuri and mbaku start to arm wrestle
the way he said “princess” and stared at her on the ship…he wanted to fuck so bad omg.
the lighting when shuri gets stabbed is insane, it becomes less saturated and green and i really like it 😗
namor’s little butt jiggle as he fell?? lol
the dissenting wakandans and talokanil are going to be a problem moving forward. they’ve each lost people and they’re not gonna let that slide.
WHY SOMEBODY BOO WHEN ANEKA KISSED AYOS HEAD. FUCK OFF HOMOPHOBE
Final Thoughts:
I really love this movie obviously but i think Tenoch being hot kinda blinded me to how cruel Namor can really be. Cause the whole time i’m thinking, he’s hot and he’s right i’m on his side. In general he doesn’t use excessive force and he gives people ample opportunities to stop fucking with him before he really goes off tho.
I still stick with my assessment that Namor isn’t a villain and you’ve missed the point if you think he is, that his actions weren’t justified but i understand he needs to protect his people so it’s not without reason.
I don’t understand why people think shuri shouldn’t have been the black panther okoye is in the dora, nakia is a spy who else was gonna be the panther?
i don’t know exactly why but this movie excites me and i am growing to love it more than any other marvel movie. this is most likely the last time ill see it in theatres since i don’t want to make myself bored with it but i’m really thankful to ryan and co for putting this out they did chad justice
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ask2pame · 2 months
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regarding your rant on frances design: TELL ME ABOUT IT. tbh i think all the designs peaked with beautiful world, and everything after that was just...discount budget versions of whoever theyre supposed to be. the beautiful world designs are GORGEOUS on their own, but compared to world stars? theres no contest. some designs i do like, like england looks nice, if not a little too polished, and portugal is really cute, but everyone else just got twinkified and butchered. and i love a twink! i do! but they look like they could be swapped out with my little pony designs and it wouldnt make a difference. france to me will always be a blonde with a ponytail, a little unkempt, with chest hair and stubble and flamboyantly manly with a touch of tragedy. thats france to me. not whatever waif they cooked up in the more recent series
// ok ok i can't tell if u mean like ''oOOOh tell me about it' as a phrase or u actually are inviting me to tell you about it but i'm going to take it as permission to ramble <3 but im putting it under the cut so i dont spam
okok so UR SO RIGHT i think the new designs are so OFF... like it kinda lost the plot. the characters are all weirdly polished?
ok im just gonna run down the characters i have a lot of thoughts about CUZ my god
ENGLAND!!! its gotta be beautiful world
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cuz the early seasons england gets his crankiness on point but this design fits just how cranky and posh(?) he is, like he dresses like an old man and wears outdated 'punk' fashion, he drinks tea like an old lady.. it fits hes cute and expressive.
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this england isLOSING hair where did his EYEBROWS GO!!!! thats HIS WHOLE FUCKING CHARACTER but also i really dislike the change from him going from a dirty blond to a bleach blond... doesnt work...
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i want my man to look like he has a nicotine addiction, rugged and smug as shit. i think they leaned too hard on the 'tsundere' trope for him cuz hes not puffy cheeks with pouty lips hes an old man with a laundry list of war crimes
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ROMANO
ok. this one is a little hard cuz romano is good in ever season but he has these little minor changes that drive me CRAZY but my favorite will always be the earlier seasons
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this ver of romano was a NASTY bitch he just showed up to be an asshole and i love it so much , i love his hair being dark brown with brown eyes ok , at the minimum his design fit his voice...
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for beautiful world i think hes cute but i really don't ? like his eyes being green? like i dont know it just never felt right to me:( i like him having brown eyes
and later his design leans into the prev but when u look at him u don't see that one guy who REALLY doesn't wanna be here hes . too soft?
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and the newer romano does have the bad attitude but now he's suffering from the 'progressively becoming a ginger' syndrome that a lot of hws characters have now
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RUSSIA
my pick for him is all over the place bc i think his new design is SO FUCKING CUTE like i wanna bite him and crocodile death roll him but i think he is SUFFERING from cuteness.... hes so . soft?
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earlier seasons of russia showed up just to say some morbid shit and be brutal as fuck but he could also lean into being cute, thats his whole gimmick, cute but scary. his current design is cute with no threat.
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i think beautiful world had that balance between cute and scary, he was cute and say mean shit like before and was ready to throw down any time america showed up, thats his whole deal. and you know at the bare minimum he's supposed to be fucking BIG and world stars makes him look like a fucking twink
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SPAIN
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beautiful world was WORKING to make spain look good, he was ugly . he was boring. and then he walked in with a new tan and a warm hair color and the cutest smile (tho its hard to find pics of spain in these seasons cuz hes younger in a lot of them) and then it's just
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what the hell happened here. i feel like im going insane but did his skin tone get ashy? like it looks more grey. and i know saying spain is 'tan' is generous but what the fuck happened. why did all his colors dull, why is his hair so . boring. where did the body mass go, where did the attitude go... world stars spain is very 'head empty' and not in a good way ....
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CHINA
one of the most overlooked characters but i love him
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i think my favorite ver of him is still his original cuz i preferred him with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes and he's side part... it was so cute... and they swapped it for a middle part .... </3
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like he was so cute ;; plus i preferred him as this kinda irritable older know it all character, like he was groaning and huffing and did NOT want to be there. but then he kind of got? infantalized(?) i think they wanted him to be cute but idk if china is considered one of the ancient nations by its own rules, then can we tone down the :333 factor on him a bit
like just comparing but this might be me raise hands at hima for this characterization. what did you do to my boy
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like do u see it. am i crazy
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these bitches
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these 4 just suffer from success in their OG and the beautiful world just made them way better (except i miss italy's darker hair </3) and then they just got handed bad animation in world stars
ok thats all i have time for rn BUT YEAH
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secret-engima · 2 years
Text
*slaps table* hi. This is the post where I talk about, yet again, why Kishi is an idiot when it comes to the implications of his own worldbuilding. Point 1. being that Kishi’s insistence that peacetime is bad for shinobi business is hot garbage and point 2. being the implications of ANBU being Scary even to other shinobi. Because the show makes it clear that ANBU are supposed to be the Scary Ones, the Dark Ones who do messed up stuff. Many fics have already talked about this, but not *too* many I've seen actually explore the implications of what that actually MEANS when put in the context of a society who thinks it's A-okay to give a knives and bombs to literal kids and shoo them off to fight things. Buckle up I’m going to flex my logic center and start talking economics even tho I never studied economics outside casual worldbuilding interest.
Okay to start off with, I’m need to talk about Not Anbu for a hot minute and describe some of the few things we *do* know about Kishi’s “worldbuilding” of the shinobi villages and their history.
1. Literally everyone but Madara the Madman agrees that the villages are a Good Thing that happened, even the missing ninja never breathe a word about wanting to go back to the Warring States Era where everyone was in clans. The implications of this could honestly be it’s own entire rant but I will restrain myself and focus on the topic at hand for now.
2. Konoha and every village barring the trash fire that is pre-Boruto Kiri have a thriving enough economy to be literal *cities* of very decent size and decent quality of life, which the civilians have a major hand in I’m sure, but tellingly the shinobi *make enough income to get by* and seem to do so very easily. I will probably come back to this as I go on.
3. Ninja villages not only have a wide array of mission ranks (which I will also come back to) but they are the ones who set the prices for individual missions, not the employers. This is seen in the infamous Wave mission when the bridge builder fellow lied about the danger of the mission because he *could not afford to pay for a mission above a C-rank*, which I remind you is the second lowest mission ranking in the system.
Alright with those in mind I’m gonna talk about the “peacetime is bad for shinobi” garbage because that does actually relate directly to the worldbuilding implications of ANBU. Just. Just bear with me here and forgive me if this kinda rambles in multiple directions, talking about anything with Kishi makes my braincells run for the hills on a good day.
JUMPING IN WITH THE PEACETIME THING. This is stupid. This is one of the stupidest things to come out of Kishi’s mouth in my opinion barring the existence of the cannibal space aliens. Why? Because despite Kishi’s love of explosions and giant flashy fights shinobi are supposed. To be. STEALTHY. And the vast majority of them now live in villages, which means they need steady income.
Post the unification of the clans into villages, wars actually became too big and messy to be profitable because it’s during peacetime that people have money to spend on hiring ninja. And we see them spend it on incredibly frivolous things when it comes to shinobi. Just look at all the D-ranks we see or are referenced in the shows. Babysitting, pet retrieval, fence painting, carrying shopping bags for civilian ladies, house cleaning, the list goes on. And these pay well enough, are priced high enough by the village, that Might Dai, a single parent, was able to feed, shelter, and clothe both himself and an extremely energetic child while also having time to train himself and his son and walk Gai to and from school. And the price tag for missions only goes up from there. Higher ranked missions pay more according to risk, but peacetime is when people will be able to afford those kinds of missions. *Wartime*, as war is defined in the show post-village creation, are giant, messy affairs where a lot of manpower goes to maintaining front lines and countering enemy action, leaving far *less* manpower and time to take on these kinds of missions, and with the mass destruction of land and resources that these wars cause, people will have less money to throw at having the magic ninja men do things like escort caravans, deal with petty crime, retrieve stolen items, etc. And those examples are just C-rank/B-rank examples. Most wartime missions that we see in the show are actually missions assigned by the village itself, not from an outside client, which means the pay is coming from the Village coffers and not an external source, which can get messy very quickly if they do not have the manpower to take enough missions from outside clients to refill those coffers. Remember that I’m coming back to it later.
Wartime, for village ninja, is loud and messy and ugly. *Peacetime* on the other hand, is the playground of the rich, the powerful, and the *subtle*. Peacetime is when nobles pay top dollar to *flaunt* that they can afford to hire a ninja or three to escort them around in broad daylight regardless of any enemies they’ve made. Peacetime is when nobles have the money to pay for ninja to go in and spy on rivals or steal secrets. Peacetime is when the Daimyo and other elites hire shinobi to escort luxury goods at high risk of theft, to deal with underground human or drug trafficking that is inconveniencing them, or to spy on their neighboring lands for information that will become useful next time they meet up to flex on each other in a “you don’t want to make trouble with me I have and know X”.
More importantly, peacetime is when the *lower* classes can afford to pay for the magic ninja as well. If D-ranks are enough to support a single parent and his child, then C and B ranks are actually going to be the *backbone* of a ninja village’s economy, not the A or S ranks. C and B ranks are going to be the highest pay for the lowest risk, and those will predominantly come from the merchant and working class who have enough spare cash to have someone deal with the wild animals harming their livestock, take out budding trafficking rings and bandit gangs or escort people and goods.
     I don’t think I’m emphasizing this one enough. Look at a map of the Elemental Nations, look at the size of those countries. Now we don’t get a lot of info on cities in those countries (because KISHI) but there are bound to be plenty of villages, towns, and cities dotting those countries, and all of them are going to be connected in some way to each other via trade routes and highways. You’re going to have Konoha’s own supply lines and the trade deals they have with their own merchant families bargaining for preferential treatment in exchange for setting up shop in a ninja village on top of all the other merchants from all over the Land of Fire who, during peacetime, have both money and incentive to hire the fire-chucking magic people to ensure *all* of their goods arrive *on time, every time*.
You’re going to have merchants who have supply lines through multiple countries. Glass products from the Land of Wind. Inks, fine paper, and flavored teas from Land of Fire. Fish, oyster, and pearl products from the coast (which is especially high risk in areas near the disaster fire that is Kiri). Each and every country is going to have luxury products or famous higher-quality raw materials (*points at Iwa and their rock obsession, points at every product made out of high quality stone, silver, gold, or iron ore*) that the other countries are all going to want, and consequently you will have merchants that are going to be willing to pay top dollar to ensure those products get where they are meant to go and do so undamaged and in a timely fashion despite bad roads/bad weather/bandits/rogue shinobi hired by a competitor/wild animals/freak acts of the local kami because you forgot to pay tribute to their shrine last week.
The technology of pre-Boruto era is also still stuck in the *horse and wagon* stage, meaning you have caravans of this stuff moving on very strict, long term schedules, which means these are jobs that the village can charge per day or week on the road on top of the base price estimated from the level of risk to the shinobi. You have merchants who are going to give preferential treatment to the village of their home nation if they can, both because you Don’t Insult The Local Fire Breathers/Rock Gougers/Storm Summoners/Etc but also because the villages themselves likely offer discounts for natives of their country, or even contracts that are essentially subscription deals for those who have multiple caravans going out at the same time, multiple times in a year. A “pay this much up front and we will ensure that several shinobi are always on standby to guard one of your caravans” kinda deal. It’s been implied multiple times in the shows that the majority of any shinobi village’s workforce are chuunin and that jounin’s are elite, and C/B-ranks are literally stated in the wiki to be usually given to teams of Chuunin or sometimes two genin teams and their jounin pairing up for a joint operation. Chuunin are going to make their careers on guarding caravans, dealing with bandits, clearing road hazards, etc. If Chuunin are the majority of your workforce, then missions that chuunin can take are going to be, by necessity, the largest cashflow coming into your village.
If a war between two or more countries is happening, all of that gets heavily restricted because of the risk of infiltration, heavily impeded from road destruction and wartime front lines, or straight up *shut down* from lack of money and manpower to take those missions.
Can you see what I’m getting at now when I say Kishi’s peacetime line is stupid.
And here comes another fun aspect of this. Because where the money flows, so does the cultural norms. Now a lot of fics I’ve seen emphasize the child soldier thing and also how D-ranks are very likely a way to acclimate the genin to mission work while also training civilians to see ninja as Friendly Safe Workers who happen to have magic powers and knives. But the thing is, all of that work on acclimating the civilians to view their local shinobi as Safe To Hire is going to go out the window if you remind them too often that these people are literal killers for hire. Merchants are not going to want to hire Infamous Killers because that says to their customers and their potential business partners that they themselves are shady and possibly approve of murder to get their way. Poking at D-ranks briefly, farmers aren’t going to want to hire potentially unhinged murderers to till their fields, and nobody is going to want to hire even the genin to *babysit their kids*.
So.
In order to attract reliable patronage from these low risk, well paying areas, the ninja villages had to *alter their public perception*. Assassination missions, kidnapping missions, extortion missions, all of those over time became short-term gain/long-term loss for the village. So they took them on less and less, and those kinds of missions became increasingly *socially unacceptable* even to the shinobi, because if the village doesn’t approve of it, it’s not a good thing. What assassination/sabotage missions we do see or hear referenced in canon are always, iirc, targeting someone that can the ninja can safely point at and say “this is a bad guy”. High ranking rogue shinobi from other villages or crime lords or despotic warlords being I think the majority (if not the entirety) of the few examples canon gives us. Those are people that, when civilians hear about them being assassinated, the civilians are going to say “good riddance” rather than “oh no!”. And if those missions are the only ones that the common shinobi hear about themselves or take on, then that’s what they are going to associate with those types of missions. A high risk job that is nonetheless seen as Morally Right, even if their moral compass hinges mostly on who is the friend or enemy of their home village.
I could also get into how this has really interesting implications for what the Warring State Era shinobi economics were like and how Hashirama and Madara making Konoha was basically inventing the concept of unionizing but I’m not going to side track to that because finally, FINALLY, we get to the ANBU Are Scary Thing.
Because this. This whole thing about how peacetime is actually where ninja villages make their bread and butter and how the push-pull of being Socially Acceptable for Money turning into Actual Moral Perception is where ANBU’s identity as the Scary Guys comes into play.
Now we don’t know when ANBU was actually founded in Konoha or any other village, but I’m going to ballpark and say it was *after* the First War because of a few key things we know about ANBU.
1. ANBU are Scary.
2. ANBU are known to specifically hunt other ninja (specifically Kiri has a Hunter-nin branch of ANBU but logically every village would have this).
3. ANBU work is extremely psychologically and physically grueling to their members and has a high fatality rate.
4. Whatever ANBU does is considered messed up even by ninja standards. An example that comes to mind is a filler flashback where Gai ends up running into Kakashi on an ANBU mission where Kakashi is basically putting down enemy ninja that are defeated and attempting to surrender and Gai is visibly distressed by this.
The First Shinobi World War likely rocked the Elemental Nations as badly or *worse* than WWI did for the real world, because this was the first time “war” was not defined as two or three noble lords throwing peasants with spears or the occasional ninja at each other or two or three shinobi clans having a protracted blood feud that they could only initiate when they weren’t busy trying to feed their own families. Assuming Konoha has the average number of shinobi clans that can be found in a shinobi village, that means we had somewhere upward of 55 clans from various countries throwing everything they had at each other on open battlefields, destroying large amounts of landscape, and causing shinobi and civilian casualties on a mass scale that even the most fire happy Uchiha could not have achieved on their worst day. This was also after Jinchuuriki became a thing, so this war was the first demonstration of what it’s like to essentially duct tape a nuke to an emotionally volatile child soldier and see what happens when you throw two or more of them into a battlefield.
The economy of the villages and their respective nations would have been in chaos after the war. Entire towns, roads, and bridges are straight up gone, chunks of landscape for miles around have been drastically rewritten, the death toll is high and the missing persons list is even higher and in the wake of this you’re going to have *every* would-be warlord and their grandfather getting uppity and trying to stake a claim on what they can of the wreckage. This includes Rogue Shinobi, likely the first real appearance of Rogue Shinobi in ninja history, at least on this scale. Lots of shinobi are going to be disillusioned from the war, exhausted, more than a few are mentally broken from the traumas, and all the ninja who have no moral compasses and dreams of power are looking at this and deciding “hey, now is a great time to become a warlord”. On top of all this, since most of the wartime missions were assigned by the villages themselves and not an outside client (with *very minimal* cash flow coming from the Daimyo himself since presumably the war was partially his idea, but even the royal coffers are not enough to run a military city the size of Konoha kthanks), the village coffers are likely hanging out somewhere between “Naruto’s childhood allowance” and “I can offer you lint”.
Obviously, these things need to be taken care of pronto, and with the villages scrambling to have the money to rebuild, the Kage in charge are going to be much more willing to take on dirty missions like assassinations, extortion, blackmail, *whatever* just to refill the village coffers. But. The ninja villages still need to keep their social acceptability in order to start getting their C and B ranks back, especially after the war opened everyone’s eyes to how destructive shinobi can really be in large numbers. They cannot afford to be seen killing left and right and the Rogue ninja are a huge stain on their village’s reputation, but openly advertising that “hey, if anyone leaves the village we’ll behead them” really isn’t going to do any favors for keeping the shinobi who are in the same mental space Tsunade was when she got fed up and left Konoha altogether.
And this, I think, is what gave rise to the existence of ANBU. The Kages picking their remaining highly skilled and most loyal followers, putting them in masks so that they cannot be easily identified by civilians, and sent out to quietly complete these high level, socially unacceptable missions. They were sent out to deal with Rogue shinobi and make them disappear without advertising to all the other traumatized village shinobi that their village is “serve or die” rather than the more patriotic “we fight for our home” that they were raised with. They were sent out to perform civilian assassinations, extortion, whatever they were offered in order to shore up the village’s shaky economy of the time and enable the Kage to pay their soldiers.
Then, after the economy stabilized, the ANBU just kinda … never left. Because by then the respective Kage had realized that being able to take on these kinds of missions with high pay and no loss of social acceptability was useful, and in the wake of the First War with everyone being simultaneously paranoid of their neighboring country but also on eggshells to not start another war, the anonymity of ANBU became a convenient way to keep an eye on each other and subtly attempt to sabotage the other when it looked like they were getting too powerful. The next two Great Shinobi Wars only solidified ANBU’s role in the hidden villages for those very same reasons, even though I would argue that they were ultimately a Bad Idea because they put too much power in the hands of the Kage without their village clans being able to hold them responsible, and that’s how we get stuff like Danzo™ and the crimes committed by Danzo™ and the Sandaime against the Uchiha. The existence of ANBU and the ability to “anonymously” jab at each other also just encouraged the animosity between the Great Shinobi Villages, and allowed warmongers (Danzo™) to ensure that an actual peace never fully settled in until the 4th Shinobi War happened.
And the peace post the 4th war, by the way, SHOULD have been a huge boom in the popularity and use of shinobi rather than the detriment that the Boruto manga/anime insists on for like- all the reasons stated in the economics part of this rant as well as the rise of CORPORATIONS that would happily pay a lot for shinobi in a host of different capacities and also people paying for shinobi to pretty please come help rebuild our destroyed homes and farmland with your fancy ninja powers.
It’s also canon that several shinobi retired and went into other professions in the wake of this peace and alliance, such as *acting*, which opens up an entire potential slew of missions geared specifically toward movie producers using their new technologies and their bigger budgets to hire shinobi as stuff like stunt doubles, live special effects artists (need to rehearse but the set isn’t done yet? No problem!! Just hire someone with *genjutsu* to make your actors the ultimate set/stage), *makeup artists* (hey those infiltration skills come in handy in a lot of ways), and more. And that’s just one “modern” profession off the top of my head that would adore having Magic Ninja People available for hire.
I’m sure I’m missing a ton of potential peace time jobs and economic implications because again, I only research this stuff in relation to worldbuilding fictional places. But there we go, I have just gone a 3k rant about ninja economics in order to explain why ANBU are Scary. I hope ya’ll enjoyed.
A side note I couldn’t find a good spot for in the actual rant but another factor in the shinobi villages having to change their behavior and seem Socially Acceptable is because of the rise of civilian-born shinobi in their genin/chuunin ranks. Because there’s no way a civilian family is going to *want* their child to become a murderous psychopath. A competent, magic wielding defender of your merchant uncle’s caravans on the other hand…
Other rants I need to do at some point when my braincells aren’t mush are:
1. My personal HCs on Konoha’s orphanage/foster system (aka Hi, Let Me Give You More Reasons To Hate Sarutobi Hiruzen)
2. Ninja Economics Two: Warring States Boogaloo (Edit: now available here!)
3. Why Cannibal Space Ninjas Are The Stupidest Idea of Multiple Stupid Options
4. Boruto Ninja Cults: What Kishi Could’ve Done Instead of the Garbage We Got
5. Genin Corps (Aka Reasons Kishi Could’ve Given for Why No One Thought Kabuto Was Suspicious But Didn’t. Aka Ninja Economics 3 Babyyyyyy)
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linnealikescoffee · 10 months
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HAIIIIIIII!
So could I please have some dating and wedding headcanons with Sebastian, Ash, and your version of Lucifer from our rp? <3
Thx so much luvvie, you're the best! >w<
Hai! Of course luv<3 @spade-writes-things
Kuroshitsuji Dating+Wedding Headcanons!
Characters featured:
-Sebastian Michaelis
-Ash Landers
-Lucifer (Kuroshitsuji OC)
Sebastian
Dating:
Dating Sebastian would surely be one hell of a ride
Be prepared to have him be really, and I mean really protective over you, after all, you're just a fragile human
He'd actually show alot of affection and love around you
My guy is really romantic! He'd do anything to keep you happy, take you out to the finest dates and places etc.
Sebastian would always be awake before you to prepare you a nice breakfast
He'd remember every little thing you tell him and ever told him - sometimes it's scary that he knows what you say before you even do so
He'd not be huge on gift giving but on your birthday and other occasions, he always makes sure it's personal and has a meaning to it
Calls you love or darling
He prefers to big spoon you
long. slow. kisses.
Wedding:
Black themed wedding all the way
Would even teach Bard how to bake a Wedding cake (He'd fail, so Sebastian bakes it last minute)
You'd have silver engagement rings that would be adorned with small black gemstones
small wedding, guests would be Ciel , Meyrin (she'd be so jealous of you), Bardroy, Finnian, Tanaka (who would do the ceremony ) and Lizzie.
Lizzie would adore how cute you look and tell you atleast 50 times that night
Oh yes, you'd marry at night
Sebastian would be MESMERISED by your look
Ciel:" My two best servants are getting married "
Lizzy: "Isn't that just adorable Ciel?"
Ciel:" I suppose it is, but don't you dare to let your work go down just because of this marriage"
Ash Landers
Dating:
phew- how will I start with him?
He's overly religious, you know that, so if you aren't...Good luck-
he's a yandere .
Your his posession.
"My little Dove"
Sees you as art, can't believe how a mortal being can be so beautiful
Reminds you of your beauty alot (Will get angry if you doubt yourself)
He can be manipulative tho- (he just wants to protect you from all the evil in the world)
He'd only be intimate with you if he knows he is truly into you (he's shy, ok?)
He wouldn't be one for dates, he'd rather have him and his partner be alone and talk
He can't stand to see you cry and he will "purify" everyone that has ever harmed you
forehead kisses. back rubs.
He literally worships you
He'd pray every night that you aren't just a dream, but in fact his
Let's you play with his hair
He loves to make you gifts
Wedding:
White themed, white dress, white cake, white flowers
He'd gift you a bouquet of white roses
Your rings would be golden with a lilac gemstone
religious wedding
His kiss would be soft and gentle almost holding the promise of having you forever
Big wedding, he'd invite all your relatives and every angel he had ever been close to
Lucifer
Dating:
He is really affectionate, always has to hold you or tell you how much he loves and needs you
A goofball during some intimate moments tho-
He'd read you stories or sing to you when you can't fall asleep
Kissing along your jawline>>>
He's the little spoon, even demons need some love
Calls you his Lady, despite the contract, he'd do absolutely anything to make you happy
He loves seeing you smile for him, it makes him feel human
Please teach my man how to control emotions,he will literally be so confused on why suddenly he feels so jumpy when he's around you
gets excited very easy
physical touch>>>
Has a habit of scooping you up and carrying you around
His favorite activity with you would be picking flowers and laying in the gardens with you, handcrafting crowns
"My Queen"
he'd teach you how to fight in case he can't protect you at one point-
At some point he'd believe he has a heart, he just adores you so much
Wedding:
He'd love for you to wear a red dress
would pick up a bunch of flowers from the gardens to gift you a flower crown
Undertaker would have made his suit (they're besties)
Verrryyyy expensive rings, only the best for his lady
He would want you to become immortal after this, he can't be without you (he would NEVER eat your soul)
He would cry on your wedding day when he sees you walking up to him
Kisses really passionate and longing
He loves you.
Not proofread but I hope you enjoy!
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girlcrushart · 3 months
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Both @whoiwanttoday and @femalecelebrityoftheday posted Taylor today, which makes sense because of the Grammys and all that of course. And because of the Superbowl and how apparently she's going to be elected President of the World when that game is over, which would be super cool ;) So for all those reasons, and also quite a few more, I'm posting Taylor today as well. I've also been watching The Eras Tour movie and I love it a whole lot and even tho it's 3 hours long maybe I've watched it more than a few times? In any case, she's honestly so magnificent in every way and I love watching her perform because she's just so damn good at it, and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy and all that. And, yes, her Grammys dress was really nice and I liked it a lot, but I liked this dress she wore to the Eras premiere more (I LOVE this dress) and I have Eras on my mind so I went with this one. I also love how much she has whipped the evil fascist overlords into panic mode with her ability to potentially convince not only young women but also now football fans to, you know, vote? Perhaps not for a lunatic? Ya, she's a pretty scary lady with all her talent and power and reasonableness. She's even a mid capitalist who shares some of her money with the people who work for her unlike some of the other capitalists. She is not setting a good example at all! She's my hero and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Today's girlcrushart guardian is Taylor Swift.
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