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youngbloodlisk · 2 years

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9-1-1 and Lone Star reactions (5/2/22)

9-1-1 (May Day)

i wanna fuck this Claudette bitch up

Albert clean shaven again?? thank god

i'd still set the world on fire for angela bassett

i used to like Josh but lately i feel like his character has been so weird like ooc and super annoying

those two just standing by sipping their coffee watching May go tf OFF at Claudette iconic truly

Eddie to the rescue

THE ALARM ISNT WORKING OH FUCK

oh this is crazy. Albert? Monday??? dude

wait so they're RIGHT above the blazing fire and not noticing any heat or anything. i mean i guess? cause like shoes they wouldn't feel the floor getting warm if that's a thing that would happen? idk im not a firefighter lmao i might be being stupid that just seems odd

okay okay NOW right after I type that Claudette goes "why is it so hot in here" Okay nvm ig!

NO WAIT SO THE FIRE WAS RIGHT OUTSIDE THE ROOM NO OKAY I FEEL LIKE THEY WOULDVE NOTICED THAT A LITTLE EARLIER THAN JUST NOW LOL

if they're abt to make me sympathize for Claudette........im not sympathetic towards rude bitches who are proud of their rudeness idk sorry!

like yeah that seriously sucks and im rlly genuinely sorry that happened to you Claudette BUT too many shows have shitty characters with poorly written sob story redemption plotlines that are meant to make me forgive their behavior. and im not forgiving your behavior bc of this!

"Josh, you're a dispatcher, not a firefighter. Today, you're a guest in this house."

"He's been waiting months to say that."

AS HE SHOULD YEP YEP YEP GET HIS ASS EDDIE

sorry maybe im being too rude to Josh for no reason i just can't stand him anymore 😭

i like Carson can we keep him around he's fun

Eddie getting Buck to stfu abt the fire-truck-on-leg aftermath god they're the greatest duo. Now kiss ffs

BOBBY ARE YOU CRAZY

yeah no time to wait around and share meaningful looks GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE ITS ON FIRE

you can't just make me watch Albert almost die and then trap May and Bobby under the ceiling AND THEN cut to a goddamn lowe's commercial

the 118 coming together to try to save Bobby im not crying youre crying shut up

THEYRE OKAY THANK GOD for a second i was thinking one of them was gonna be dead and i was RLLY gonna be crying then

YES EDDIE man knows where he belongs

Evan Buckley im gonna smack you if you don't stop treating Taylor like this I hate Taylor but I also hate Lucy and yknow what i hate the most? Buck's vanishing character development idk

May calling Bobby her dad IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING SHUT UP

pre Lone Star comment: im hoping this week's episode has a little Marjan cause i missed her last week there was hardly any of her i missed my girlfriend ! but judging by the preview i am not very hopeful for much Marjan screentime SO MAYBE NEXT WEEK

(back to 9-1-1 this episode isn't over yet)

i may dislike Josh but the mlm rep ! woohoo !

han brothers <<<3333 i love them

WOAH THEY KILLED OFF CLAUDETTE????

wow and something's up with Monday OH MY GOD THE PREVIEW FOR NEXT WEEK????? HOLY SHIT

9-1-1: Lone Star (Shift-less)

BANGER song in the beginning omg this song always reminds me of the Psych episode Talk Derby to Me cause it plays at the end when Shawn and Jules are skating together god i love Psych

dude what just- Tyler???

are pay phones wired to like not require money if you dial 911. cause like Owen didn't pay for the call and that would make sense cause it's the emergency line

i'm gonna Google it

YEP yep they can't charge for emergency calls that makes so much sense i had never even thought abt that

omg i forgot abt Wyatt

did Judd just throw up a peace sign cause oh my god that's funny

sidenote: im drinking an energy drink while watching these. it's currently 1am. im surely gonna regret this

room 127? 127?? nct 127?? alexa play superhuman

im rlly enjoying looking into Owen's childhood. as heart-wrenching as it is, it gives his character a further depth that was needed

THE CLOWNNNNN OHHHHH

oh god Judd oh no

"Hey, Wyatt, look at the damn thing. You ain't gonna make it worse." i laughed i love Judd sm

i mean he DID say he'd scream and pass out !

follow up on the pre Lone Star comment: no Marjan whatsoever i still miss my girlfriend this is devastating

no cause i relate so hard to Wyatt being all panicky not knowing what to do until Judd passes out and he's basically alone to figure it out himself. i work so much better, even under pressure, when no one is watching me

i love May + Bobby having their "she called me dad" moment AND Wyatt + Judd having their "he called me dad" moment in the same night that's so fun

Overall Comments

it seems 9-1-1 is still adhering more to the format of emergency calls, while Lone Star is more fleshing out the MCs' storylines.

i don't think one is better than the other necessarily, but i do miss having more consistency with Lone Star's format. but the storylines they're working with are pretty damn good and they're actually making me CARE abt the first responders' lives outside of the job. given that the show is meant to be centered around the job.

in 9-1-1 i'm usually less invested in the non-emergency storylines but i think that's because it feels like an afterthought for 9-1-1 while for Lone Star it's more of the focus now. that's interesting.

although, Lone Star focusing more on MC storylines does mean we see some character wayyyyy more than others and i don't like that very much. i miss seeing more of marjan and paul and all of them cause it feels like we're focusing so much on owen, judd's family, and even tk. love them all and love their plotlines.

just wish there was a better character balance in Lone Star. but the same could be said for 9-1-1 sometimes so yknow 🤷

right i think that's all i wanna say thank you and goodnight it's 2am !

#gay firefighter show #911 on fox #911 lone star #may grant #bobby nash #howard han #albert han #athena grant #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 buddie #buddie #marjan marwani #owen strand #judd ryder #im trying to only tag ppl i mentioned #lol

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lunaekalenda · 3 years

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DAY ONE: Marco doesn't want to shower.

DAY TWO:

DAY THREE:

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a/n: okay idk why i'm writing this and why the hell it ended being a three chapter serie but i wanted to write about dad jean and it ended in this brainrot so i hope you enjoy this as much as i liked writing it :D

w: jean x female!reader, kids (2), marriage, stablished relationship, modern AU, dad jean because i'm weak, implicit spoilers about marco and sasha

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“You’ll be okay for sure?” you ask once more, taking of your seatbelt. Jean smiles at you, nodding.

“Of course, babe. They are only two kids, and they are our kids.” he says. You smile at him. Your beautiful kids. You're really lucky to have this family.

“Maybe that’s the most problematic part, those Kirstein gens...” Jean laughs and you kiss him before leaving. “Be back in two days, love you!”

“Call me if something happens, right? Be careful, love you more.” You take the suitcase and run into the airport, waving your hand again to him. You don't want to be late for your plane. You have an important bussiness meeting on another country, so you will stay there for two days. Jean insisted to stay home with the kids, even when his mom offered him to stay there. He drives to his childhood house, where a smiling Marco receives him.

"Dad!" he yells while Jean gets out of the car. His mother comes behind his child, holding his daughter, that easily strecthes her hands towards him, searching her father's arms. He holds her while Marco hugs his leg. "Dad, granny showed me a snail. They are so rare! They have their houses on their back!" Marco tells. Jean caresses his son's head while his daughter plays with Jean's necklace. His mom looks at him.

"Jean-bo, if you need something, you can always come here." Jean smiles. The name his mom has used since he's little keeps warming his heart.

"Thanks, mom. Now, time to go home." Marco nods and goes to kiss his grandmother on the cheek. Jean sits both of them on their car chairs and goes back home. "We will have fun while mom is working, right?" Jean asks, and Marco nods with energy. They arrive home fast while Marco keeps talking about the things he saw on his grandma garden. Sasha tells a little about her afternoon -she's too young to talk that much yet.-. "I sleep on granny sofa." she says. They arrive and Marco sits on the sofa, taking his console. Jean looks at him while he sits Sasha on her chair. "Marco?"

He looks at him with innocent eyes. "Mom says I can play videogames on Friday afternoon." he says simply. Jean sighs. He told him in the car that it was late, so he had to shower and dinner to go to sleep. Jean walks to the kitchen and prepares a cup of milk with cereal for Sasha's dinner. He gives it to her, and her face is now decorated with a huge smile.

“Go shower, Marco.” The kid keeps playing with his console. “Marco?”

“I’m occupied, dad. I only can play on weekends and fridays.” he says. Jean raises a brow and looks again at him. He sighs, kneeling next to him. He knows that insist doesn’t have any effect in him, so maybe negotiate with the kid gives results.

“Buddy, why don’t we go for a bath and play with all the water toys you have? Don’t want to make Peter the Sailor sad.”

Marco raised his gaze, the same hazel eyes that Jean has. He sighs before looking again to his game.

“Dad, Peter is a toy. They don’t feel emotions.”

“Someone didn’t watch Toy Story.” Jean thinks for himself. He checks on Sasha, that is eating cereal with, surprisingly, her spoon instead of her hands. "Very well, sweetie." He goes back to Marco. "Marco, please." the kid keeps playing. Jean sighs. He runs his hands through his hair, tying it in a bun. He looks at Sasha.

He waits until she's finished "Okay, time for your bath. Once I'm finished with her, I'm coming for you." he says. Marco raises a thumb to his father. Jean's big hands take Sasha off her little chair, and he carries her to the bathroom. He undresses her once he has checked the water temperature and set the hot air. She enters the water with a huge smile. Jean kneels near the bathtub, making sure she's sitting in the right way. The little girl smiles to his father and he can't help but smile to his little girl. "How does y/n take care of them while I work?" he thinks. Jean isn't a bad dad. He cares a lot for them and he helps in everything he cans, as making chores or helping with the kids. But it is also true that he has been alone with them just for hours, not for entire days. Usually you're home when he's home, so they are always watched by two pairs of eyes.

Sasha splashes water out of the bathtub, making Jean's shirt wet and his thoughts stop to overflow. She giggles. "Oh, you're a funny one... I'm sure Connie will enjoy meeting you." he says for himself. His friend Connie decided to take a free year and he's now trekking on a lost mountain of the Alphs. He decided to go around the world this year, so he only knows a baby version of Sasha. Now she's almost three. Marco, on the other hand, is near six.

Jean hears steps and suddenly feels a little hand on his shirt. He turns around. "What's up, bud?" he asks. Marco looks at him. His eyes are fixed on Jean's, and he has a sad expression.

"When is mommy coming back?" he asks. Jean knows your son is basically a mom kid, and being more than 3 hours without her is starting to ruin him because he knows she will be out for days. Jean's hand is still inside the bathtub when he takes Marco closer to him, sitting him on his knee while his hand supports Sasha, trying to avoid accidents.

"She will be back Sunday night." he says. It's friday night and Marco is already missing you. Jean smiles softly. He also misses you. "We will videocall her once she has arrived her hotel, yeah?" Marco nods again and Sasha giggles.

"Want to see Mom." she says. Marco watches Sasha as she plays with some bath ducks. Sasha starts to pout, and Jean knows that means she wants to go out of the water. "Okay, little one, we're going to take off all this soap." he says. With care, he waters her quickly before wrapping her on a towel. He lets the bathtub empty and starts to fill it with hot water for Marco's bath. "Want me to leave?" he asks. Marco has learned to shower by himself, so probably he doesn't want to have his father there, but surprisingly, he says.

"Mom always stays. Can you also stay, dad?" Jean's heart melts when he hears it and nods. "I'll go leave Sasha on her bed and come back, hm?" he says. Sasha's hot cup of milk followed by a hot bath ends always in a wet- haired half-asleep Sasha. Jean dries her hair quietly before leaving her on the bed. She hugs her favorite plushie and Jean leans on to kiss her forehead. "Sleep well, Sasha." he says. She smiles, half-asleep, and Jean closes the door before going back to the bathroom. He makes a little stop on his bedroom to change his wet t-shirt. Marco is already on the bath when he arrives. Jean sits outside, as he did with Sasha. "Dad, do you miss mom?" Marco asks. Maybe it is because he is sad and Jean isn't, or Jean doesn't know why his son thinks he doesn't miss his wife.

"Of course I miss mom. I miss her a lot." Jean says. Marco smiles a little and looks to the water, full of bubbles. "Why you asking?"

"Because I thought I was weak for missing her so early." he says. Jean looks at his son.

"Of course not! Missing someone you love isn't a weakness. It means you feel a lot of love for them." he says. Marco nods.

"I really love mom." he says. Jean smiles to his older son. How his face reminds him of you. His phone rings on the entrance table. It's a message from you.

"just arrived. tell me when you want to videocall :)"

"Oh, Marco. Mom wants to call!" he says. Marco gets happy and he ends his shower fast, getting dressed on his pijamas. He asks about Sasha. Should him let her sleep or wake her to let her mom see her? He decides to wake his little girl and tell her that mom is going to call. Sasha gets fully awake with the mention of her mom and the three of them are now on your bed, Jean on the middle. He videocalls you and you answer at the moment.

"Hi mommy!!" Marco says. Sasha smiles before repeating what her brother said.

"Hi, babe" Jean's voice can be heard the last. You smile widely.

"Marco, Sasha! how are you? Mom is missing you so much!" you say.

"You don't miss daddy?" Marco asks. You laugh at his concerned expression.

"Of course I miss him." you say. Jean smiles and lets Marco grab the phone. "How was your day at Granny's?"

Marco tells you all the details about his granny's garden, every single insect and living thing inside. Sasha tries to tell you what she did, but she gets twisted with the words because of the happiness of seeing you.

"Mommy how's your room?" Marco asks. You show them, listening three "woows" when the camera points the big bed and the beach through the windows. "It is so big!"

"It is! Next time, I'll take you all with me!" you promise. Marco yells and Sasha claps. Jean smiles warmly at you, the scene melting every inch of your heart. You know it's late there. "Marco, you should go to sleep. You too, Sasha. I'll talk with dad for a bit and we will talk a lot of time tomorrow, promise." you say. Marco nods and Sasha smiles at you. Jean lets them say goodbye.

"Bye mommy, have good dreams! I love you!"

"Bye mama, love you!"

"Bye, loves. I miss you and I love you more!." Jean leaves the phone on the bed while he puts Sasha on her bed, kisses her forehead and does the same to Marco. The kid whispers him. "Dad, if I am awake when you end, could you read me a tale?"

"Of course. But try to sleep, yes?" Marco nods and turns off the light. Jean closes the door quietly and gets into his bed, taking his phone. You smile at him.

"How the hell they obey you more through a phone than to me on real life?" he asks. You laugh and he does too. "You're a supermom for them. They already miss you a lot. I miss you a lot." he says. You smile.

"I'm sure you're being the greatest dad. You've always been. And I also miss you three so much. But I'll be back sooner than you think." you say. Jean smiles.

"I know. You should relax as much as you can there."

"That's kinda impossible. The boss gave us tons of work." you sigh

"How's the city?" he asks.

"It is beautiful! I really want to take you three with me next time!" the mention of a future trip makes him smile. He yawns quietly. You realize the hour. "Babe, it's late there. You should go to sleep." you say. Jean smiles and nods. "I'll message you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Be careful, and call if you need something, I'll leave my phone with sound on." you nod. He always cares for you, and you love that side of him. "Have a good day, babe."

"Sleep well, Jean. I love you."

"I love you more." You hang. You have a long day, so, getting ready, you leave your hotel room. Jean goes to his son bedroom. He's calmly asleep, so he goes to check on his daughter. She's also sleeping. He can't help but smile. His little ones.

He feels so lucky.

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nevermindirah · 3 years

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part 3, "Kid": How every character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood relates to the main character, Nile Freeman

Stop writing people calling Nile "kid" 2k4ever

Andy calls Nile a baby one time, minutes after first dreaming of her. Andy then calls Nile "kid" three times, all to her face, all in the first few hours of their acquaintance. Booker calls Nile "kid" once, on the porch outside the bar. That's it. The context for these lines is super interesting, and calling Nile "kid" in fic doesn’t make any sense without the original context.

When Andy, Joe, Nicky, and Booker wake up from first dreaming of Nile, Joe and Nicky immediately start sharing facts they noticed, and Joe starts sketching. Booker is in his feelings but he contributes a few things to the saying-facts-out-loud rally.

Andy is 100% in her feelings. She starts the conversation with "No, not another one." Then once the boys have gathered a bunch of facts and Booker says "I felt her die" Andy comes in with this:

Andy: [stares at nothing straight ahead, voice is remote, detached.] She’s a Marine. [Joe and Nicky look up together.] Combat. Or near combat duty. Afghanistan. [Shakes her head slowly, wearily.] It’s been over two hundred years. [Whispers, anguished, buries head in hands.] Why now?

Got it. Joe and Nicky are the competent soldiers, Booker is the semi-competent drunk, Andy is the boss. Andy is the fucking depressed boss. It's in this context that Andy, having analyzed the information her direct reports just gave her, made the determination that Nile is a Marine in Afghanistan, and let her team have a brief back-and-forth about whether to change their plan to go retrieve the new one before announcing the decision that is ultimately hers to make, refers to Nile as a baby.

Andy: Get to France. Use the Charlie safe house. I’ll meet you there. [Joe examines his sketch, blows pencil-dust off it. She stares at Booker.] Find Copley. [Joe tears out the page and hands her the sketch. Andy stares at it.] Jesus. She’s just a baby.

Andy's metric fuckton of I AM BEYOND DONE just leaps off the page/screen. Keep that existential exhaustion in mind as we see her early interactions with Nile.

Nile: [stands, panting, regards Andy suspiciously.] Who are you? Andy: I lead a group of immortals. An army, I guess. Soldiers. Fighters like you. [softer tone.] Look... [Andy steps toward her; Nile steps back.] You’ve got questions, kid. I get it. [tiny smile, small nod.] You want answers? Get back in the car.

Andy: [lightly] And I was the one who cut your throat. Right? [stares at Nile, who stares back, then looks away; she has no answer for that.] Listen, kid. You already believe in... [points upward, follows it with her eyes.] You should just keep following that illogic. [Pulls her jacket over her shoulders as a blanket, turns on her right side, back to Nile, lies on the pile of duffel-bags like a reclining chair.] You’re already on board with the supernatural. [Speaks with eyes already closed; it makes no difference to her.] If I were you, I’d get some sleep.

[Nile stands slowly, glaring at Andy, sets her body as she prepares to continue the fight.] Andy: You really want to do this, kid? [Andy’s eyes are bright, her expression relaxed but anticipating; she looks like she thinks this will be fun.]

Andy is looking at this retrieval mission as something that must be done, but quickly and with as little disruption as possible to her team's ongoing mission to find Copley and protect themselves from exposure. And then here comes Nile Freeman, competent as hell, taking no shit, questioning everything, stabbing her and escaping a moving vehicle and just fucking fighting her at every turn.

"Jfc kid will you just get in the goddamn car" feels pretty reasonable in that context, yeah? At least from Andy's perspective. From Nile's, you're fucking right you're gonna ask some goddamn questions before getting on a drug-smuggling plane with someone who just shot you in the head.

It's worth noting that Andy doesn't precisely say "jfc kid will you just get in the goddamn car" — she says "I need you to get back in the car please." She says "can you please not do that again" when Nile fucking stabs her. She's exhausted and frustrated and just trying to get through this and back to her main mission, and from what we see of her so far she's generally gruff as a person, but she's not an asshole, and she’s really showing Nile some respect here, all things considered. I mean, imagine being this polite when someone stabs you. This is a tired adult trying to get another tired adult on board with a sensible plan.

Andy: Argh! [Andy grabs Nile’s knife hand.] Fuck! [throws it violently aside, forcing Nile back a step. With the knife still in her, Andy sighs deeply and looks at Nile. Nile recovers her balance and stares that Andy is hardly reacting to having a knife in her.] Can you please [grabs the knife with left hand, yanks it out] not do that again? [throws the knife on the ground.]

Once they fight on the plane, Andy never calls her kid again. Andy is already starting to regain some of the energy her long life has worn away from her after just 10 minutes on screen with Nile. Andy went into this retrieval determined to be someone Nile can rely on, and that still stands, but by the time they’re in France she’s realizing she’ll come to be able to rely on Nile too. She introduces her to the boys as Nile and that's that.

The only other time we hear the word "kid" in the entire movie is near the end, outside the bar with Booker.

Nile: Yeah. [takes a breath.] Talked to Copley. Said he could fix it. Make it look like I was killed in action. [nods gently to herself] My family will mourn, but, uh... [tiny shrug, head-shake.] ...they’ll be able to move on. It’s just like what we did with my dad. [sighs. Turns to look out over the water. Voice wavers.] I just really want to hear my mom’s voice one more time. Booker: [looks down, pauses, turns to lean next to Nile.] You’re a good kid, Nile. [looks at her, speaks earnestly.] You’re gonna be great for the team.

Sébastien le Livre, whose greatest tragedy is that his children disbelieved and rejected his love for them, would be very moved by Nile's concern and love for her mother. "You're a good kid, Nile," in the sense that she's honoring her parent in a way he, a bereaved parent, appreciates.

There's also the fun shippy reading that he's preemptively friend-zoning her because there's about to be several lifetimes between him and spending any more time with this woman he was having an obvious "oh no she's hot" reaction to over dinner in Goussainville, but I, a feral BoN shipper, like the first reading even better.

But the point is, calling Nile "kid" is an element of the movie that says a lot about the characters using that word. When it gets repeated in fanfiction, it says something about the author.

If you're reading this and reflecting "oh shit I wrote the team calling Nile kid without thinking about it at all beneath the surface" I have a really cool suggestion for you: just edit it. Or at least consider not doing it again. We all make mistakes. We all run with things that we pick up in canon or see in other people's fic that seem funny and harmless, and once we think about those things more deeply we might find that actually it's kinda fucked up, or not what canon was trying to say, or fine on the surface but not fine if it becomes The One True Fanon. Having characters who are either white, men, or both call the adult protagonist who's a young Black woman "kid" all the time carries a weight to it. Please let's let that weight fall off Nile's fully-grown shoulders.

Next up, orders, suggestions, assistance, and other flavors of mentoring Nile and/or telling her what to do. Credit and appreciation to StarWatcher for transcribing the movie here on AO3, all my line quotes are pulled from there.

#nile freeman #andromache the scythian #yusuf al kaysani #nicolo di genova #sebastien le livre #book of nile #dirah discusses tog team dynamics #tog meta #tog #mine #userhayls

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arts-and-drafts · 3 years

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Legacy (Part 2)

(Continuation of my first FWT fankid AU fic, in which Dream faces his consequences and Fundy goes after his reckless son before it's too late to save him. Enjoy!)

(Tagging @midnightmagi @rose-icosahedron @amazonprimebox @colorfulsiren @strawberrylemonz)

Dream shifted, the first real movement Theo had seen from him. "...I don't have a son." He spoke, his tone low with an unreadable emotion. Theo flattened his ears.

"Actually, you fucking do." Theo snarled, his anger overriding his caution. "But you wouldn't know, since Dad was too afraid of you to say anything."

Dream went still, his mask tilting up to seemingly search Theo's face. "'Dad'...do you--Fundy?" Dream asked, a shred of desperation present in his question.

"Yeah." Theo spat. "Fundy is my dad. He ran away because you cheated on him, and you were gonna start another fucking war."

Dream flinched, only barely, but Theo caught it with a fierce satisfaction. He found the nerve.

"I thought--I thought Fundy was dead--" Dream muttered. "And you...you're mine?"

Dream raised his hand towards Theo, but snatched it back when Theo raised the trident to his throat. "I'm not fucking yours. I'm here to hurt you the way you hurt my dad. Don't get fucking chummy."

Dream paused, again. Theo wished he could rip that mask off to see what he was really thinking.

"What's your name?" Dream asked, slowly and carefully. Theo's lip curled.

"You don't deserve to know."

Dream gently pushed the trident aside, putting his hands up as Theo jerked it right back to his vulnerable chest. "Kid--" Dream started, but Theo cut him off.

"Do you have any fucking idea what you did?! He loved you, and you just threw him into the dirt!! I'm ashamed to share your fucking blood." Theo exploded, spitting all the venom he could muster.

"Listen--" Dream tried to interrupt, his body language tensing the more Theo ripped into him. Theo silenced him by jabbing the trident points against his godly father's chest. "No! YOU fucking listen!!" Theo snapped.

Dream's energy suddenly violently shifted, making the fur on the back of Theo's neck stand on end. Dream grasped the neck of the trident with an iron grip and easily twisted it out of the fox's paws as if he was snatching a toy from a child.

Theo stepped back with wide eyes as Dream advanced, throwing the trident aside carelessly while keeping his undivided attention on his son.

Theo's back hit the strong stalks of bamboo, halting his frantic reversal to escape Dream. He bit down a yell as his other father grabbed his arm and pulled him close, his grip tight and unyeilding.

"Where is Fundy." Dream said. It was not a request, it was an order. Theo bared his fangs. "Fuck you."

"Tell me where he is!!" Dream yelled, yanking Theo closer as he tried to pull away. Theo clenched his free fist and felt it charge with green magic.

"Get off me!!" Theo snarled, his glowing fist being Dream's only warning before it swung dead center into his smiling mask.

Dream flew backwards, Theo crying out in pain as the god pulled the fox's arm hard enough that he heard a small pop in his shoulder before Dream's grip finally broke. Theo's vision blurred with white stars of pain as Dream landed in the pond below, thrown a significant distance from the force of Theo's blow.

Theo gasped and clutched at his arm, a throbbing ache from his shoulder forcefully taking his breath from his lungs. He staggered over to the discarded trident and picked it up with his left paw, holding it close to his chest as his right arm lay useless at his side.

Theo's eyes slowly widened in fear as Dream rose from the pond, crackling bolts of a familiar green energy encasing his entire body. Theo could feel his fury from 50 blocks away.

Theo tightened his grip on the trident, his ears flat to his head as his father started to float menacingly towards him. He was lightheaded with pain and one arm short, but refused to admit defeat. Theo stood his ground and bared his teeth as Dream closed in.

Fundy paced the length of Logstedshire's walls, his mind addled with worry. Theo hadn't been seen since he awoke, something that wasn't abnormal. His son liked the early morning. What worried Fundy was the fact that there was no note telling where he ran off to like there usually was, and he was not in his regular places of comfort outside the walls. He just simply disappeared.

"Could've forgot." Tommy wondered aloud to Fundy from his spot next to the Prime Log. His uncle had been looking for guidance from the vessel all morning, but was met with silence from his deity.

"No." Fundy instantly shot him down, turning in place to pace down the south wall again. "I rammed it into that kid's head to always tell me where he was. He wouldn't have forgotten."

A gust of chill from behind halted Fundy's nervous movement. He sighed and flattened his ears.

"What do you want, Wilbur."

"Hello, Fundy!" Ghostbur greeted cheerfully, unperturbed by his son's cold acknowledgement. "Is little Theo back yet?"

Fundy turned to face him. "You saw him leave?"

"Yes!" Ghostbur said. "He said he needed to take care of something and told me not to tell you--...oh." Ghostbur's face flickered. "Frick."

Fundy moved to grab Ghostbur's arm, his paw passing right through his father's transparent form. "Wil, tell me where he went." Fundy demanded, his voice rigid with fear. Ghostbur's face twisted in guilt.

"He said not to say anything," the spirit said hesitantly. Fundy flattened his ears tight to his head.

"Wilbur. My son is in trouble." Fundy said, driving every spot of desperation he felt into his words. "He's gonna fuck himself over and he's gonna get himself killed if you don't tell me where he went. For once in your fucking existance, Wil, be a good dad."

Fundy exhaled and looked at the ground, blinking tears from his eyes. "If not for me, then--at least for Theo."

Ghostbur had gone very transparent, his eyes far away. For a tense second, Fundy feared his dead father would disappear until he forgot again.

"He went to Technoblade." Ghostbur murmured dazedly, blinking. "He said he needed a weapon."

Fundy ran his paw over his head, his core filling with dread. "Shit. Shit." He tried so long to keep Theo hidden, to protect him, to keep him safe, and it was all falling apart.

Fundy cursed himself. He never should have told his son the truth. This was all his fault.

Fundy looked back up to Ghostbur, desperately searching his eyes. "Is he still there?"

Ghostbur shrugged, and Fundy wanted to tear his fur out.

"He...asked about Dream? I don't know why. He seemed very interested in your marriage." Ghostbur commented. Fundy squeezed his eyes shut, old scars flaring up at his father's words.

"He's going to the SMP." Fundy breathed. He snapped his head to Tommy, who mirrored his look of fear. "Tommy, we have to find him--oh shit, shit, he's going to get himself killed--"

Tommy's hands grabbed Fundy's arms, though the fox didn't notice him rise from the Prime log.

"Fundy--I-I can't go there. Dream will kill me." Tommy said, his voice only imperceptibly trembling. Fundy's shoulders began to shake. "He'll die if we don't, I--"

"Fundy, I can't go with you." Tommy reiterated in a pleading voice. "But you're not exiled like I am."

Fundy blinked. "So--I'm--I'm on my own." He realized. Tommy didn't respond, only pressed his mouth in a thin line.

"I'm--I can't. I can't die." He said, and Fundy could see regret and shame and fear behind his uncle's eyes.

Fundy stilled. "I...understand."

"You won't be alone!" Ghostbur piped up from behind them, his voice already back to its raspy happiness. Fundy set his jaw.

"Ghostbur. You need to stay with Tommy. You'll just fuck it up." Fundy stated, disdain dripping from his words. He turned away from his uncle and the ghost of his father, steeling himself for leaving Logstedshire for the first time.

"Fundy." Tommy said, and the fox paused. "Take whatever you need." His uncle said. Fundy turned to see Tommy gesturing to the storage house.

Tommy was a hoarder. After the visits from Dream, the boy had squirreled away everything he could get his hands on, hidden from the explosive fate that all the rest of his belongings had suffered. Tommy was possessive and greedy, but here he was, opening his entire supply of preperations to his nephew.

Fundy swallowed, a task that had suddenly become difficult. "Thank you, Tommy." He struggled, never one to know how to express his gratitude in his words. His father was the poet, after all. Not him.

Tommy nodded regardless, and Fundy got the feeling that he knew what his nephew was trying to convey.

Fundy made quick work of packing. Food, armor, axe. A golden apple just in case. He stopped, and then grabbed a second.

There was no such thing as too careful against Dream.

Before he sealed his pack, Fundy took a deep breath. Time was a medicine, and had helped Fundy heal from his former husband shattering him into pieces.

Going right back to the man who hurt him so badly could only end as such, and Fundy would never attempt it on his own.

But the greatest gift that came from Dream was Theo, and he meant more to Fundy than anything else in the realms. He was not about to abandon him to the fate of his divine father, no matter how bad it would hurt to go back.

Fundy clipped the top of his pack together and slung it over his shoulder.

For Theo, he would do anything. If that meant facing his hell to save his son, then so be it.

Ghostbur was gone when Fundy returned, and he didn't care. Good riddance. In the past, he would have felt a small twinge of guilt, but that was a long time ago.

Tommy saw him off, waving solemnly from the walls of Logstedshire. Fundy knew Tommy had done all he could, but the fox couldn't help but feel a very small twist of abandonment. Fundy was more than willing to risk his life for Theo, and a part of him wished Tommy was too.

Fundy shook his head. That was unfair to think. He focused on the horizon, his breath fogging in the morning air, and sent a silent wish to whatever god would listen that his son would be okay when he found him.

#fwt fankid #legacy #meraki post #dream smp #angst

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

Text

What I Thought About "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

When Dana Terrace did her AMA on Reddit, a fan asked what we could expect for the new season. To which she replied by listing five things:

Parental conflict

A lot of emotions

Island exploration

New characters

...There's a fifth thing in there. You just got to look closely.

Now, when Dana mentioned parental conflict, dozens of fans assumed she was talking about Alador and Odalia, which, I mean...valid. They were the only two parental figures who presented any real conflict, and the idea of Camila being involved seemed implausible due to Luz being cut off from the human world. But no matter how you perceived that line, one thing’s for sure: No one expected Eda and Lilith's mother to be a source of conflict!

Yup. Today we met the woman who created two of the (former) greatest witches in all of the Isles. Was her introduction welcomed? Or did she give the Blights a run for their money for the "Worst Parent(s) of the Year" award? Only spoilers can answer those questions, so keep that in mind as we go in-depth with "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances."

Let's review, shall we!

WHAT I LIKED

The Flashback: Already, this episode comes out swinging by giving us so much information! We get an explanation of what Eda goes through when cursed (which is horrifying), the reasoning behind her gem, the revelation that Eda ran away from home, and the reveal of how she got the portal door. The best part is, none of it feels rushed or forced. Eda's curse and the portal are integral threads to this story, both in this episode and in future ones. Tying them together sets up Gwendolyn's determination to cure her daughter while showing Eda's determination to escape her mother by skipping town into another dimension. There's also a sense of mystery in how and why the portal was in their backyard. And judging by how we got all of this incredible information in episode FOUR of the new season, something tells me we'll get answers to those questions sooner than we might think. This was such a strong opening to the episode. Despite giving so much information, it makes fans like me want even more. Which is an A+ in my book.

Gwendolyn: Yeah, might as well step out the gate in saying that I like Gwen...but I can already see how others won't. Immediately, she sets herself up as a mother who would do anything and everything to cure her daughter. That aspect of her character is perfect, and it quickly won points from me in terms of liking her. It's just that Gwendolyn's disregard of what Eda wants and the complete dismissal of Lilith are aspects of Gwen that are certainly going to rub some people the wrong way. Especially if those kids come from households where their parents are a lot like Gwendolyn. I was in the same boat of hating her too for a while, but thankfully, the last act saved her.

First, there's that scene where Gwendolyn threatened the lives of the demons for not only screwing her over but making things worse for Eda. It's one of those "Hell hath no fury like a mother scorned" moments that I always love to see.

Then there's the fact that Gwendolyn learns her lesson and, more importantly, apologizes. Not many actual abusive mothers would do that (Looking at you, Odalia), so it's nice to see that she makes an effort to make amends. Oh, and by the way, since I mentioned it, don't go around calling Gwendolyn abusive. She isn't. Or, at least, not to my eyes. If anything, she's a lot like Sara Fitzgerald from My Sister's Keeper (The book. Not the movie. The movie sucked).

In that story, Sara makes controversial choices that result in her youngest daughter Anna getting the short end of the stick due to putting all attention towards her eldest Kate. But here's the thing: KATE HAS CANCER! So while Sara's choices are beyond questionable, you can understand her point. And if you don't, well, I'd see how you would react when in her shoes. Trust me when I say that situations like this aren't always cut and dry. It's the same with Gwendolyn. She's far from "Mom of the year," but you understand where she's coming from. She wants to do what she can to help Eda, even if her methods could have been better. But that's just how I feel, and I can't speak for everyone who dealt with mothers far worse than her. If you refuse to forgive her, I'll understand. But to me, I consider Gwendolyn a worthy addition to the series.

(Plus, she just radiates Grandma energy when interacting with Luz. It's cute, and therefore I must love it!)

Luz: This season is on FIRE when presenting Luz!

I adore that the first thing we see her doing in this episode is sleeping after, most likely, another all-nighter to find a new portal. It proves that she has a determination made of iron and an intense dedication to getting back to Camila. In fact, it's that dedication that works as a perfect way to build a connection between Luz and Gwendolyn. They both want to reconnect with their families and are willing to do whatever it takes to do so.

Regardless, despite so desperately wanting to see Camila again, I'm glad that Luz still has common sense when it comes to helping Eda. She quickly sees that Gwen's cures are doing more harm than good, and it's great that Luz is the one to call malarky on the whole thing. No one had to spell things out for her because she's smart enough to notice that everything Professor Warlop is marketing feels a lot more like the fake medicine real people sell in the human world. It's a testament that despite having a big heart and the best intentions, Luz still has the intelligence to know when something is up and put a stop to it. And, again, let's hope that more people pick up on that.

Lilith: ...who would have expected Lilith of all characters to have most of the emotional moments in this episode?! I sure didn't!

But...Yeah. Lilith is the best thing in "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances." On top of her seeking Gwendolyn's approval being relatable for some viewers, it's also really heartbreaking. I mean, listen to the shocked and hurt tone in her voice after finding out Gwen visited Eda regularly. That alone should give away how much Gwendolyn is important to Lilith and says so much about how strained their relationship became after the curse. Then there's that scene where she just breaks down, feeling both scared and torn apart by the fact that she experienced the curse in its full form and could do nothing to stop herself. It...stung. That's the best way to describe it. It stung seeing a character who is (mostly) cool and collective to become so vulnerable and broken. And, you know what? It's because of this that Lilith has won me over. I still don't think she should have been as forgiven as quickly as she was, but after learning what Lilith went through and what she's currently going through, I'm more than willing to be ok with her. And--I can't believe I'm saying this--I'm going to miss her being a part of the Owl House. She earned her place, in my opinion, creating entertaining dynamics with everyone. Sure, she'll make appearances every now and again, but I wouldn't mind a few more episodes with her being with the main group. But I'm positive the writers will have plans for her in the future and seeing how well she was written in this, I can't wait to see what they do next.

King Hoping to see his Dad Again: This was just a cute tidbit that ties nicely into last week's episode. Bonus points for that scene where King and Lilith get drunk off of Night Market ice cream. It got a good chuckle out of me, especially when Hooty was the one who ended up being the voice of reason.

Cursed Lilith: ...How does she look worse and more terrifying than Eda?

How Beast Keeping Magic Works: Not much I can say about this. It's neat to be given a visual explanation of how Beast Keeping magic works and how it's more than just controlling animals. Judging by the roof shingles, it can also be making objects more animal-like. It's pretty cool, and I hope to see more of how the rest of the magic from the prominent covens work.

Luz wasn’t the only human: To tell you the truth, this doesn't surprise me. Eda did say that every myth humans have is a bit of the Boiling Isles leaking into the human world, so why can't the opposite be true? However, the reveal of there being a famous human around many years ago presents many more questions, and possible theories, that deserve to be discussed in a future post. For now, I'll just say that it's awesome how this reveal perfectly transitions us to next week's episode, "Through the Looking Glass Ruins." We already know Luz is going to the library. But, seeing how Gus is going to be a prominent character in that episode as well, he probably wanted to tag along with Luz to study about the first human in the Boiling Isles. Only to then get sidetracked by some cool kids from Glandis. It's in the realm of possibility, thus proving how more serialized this season compared to Season One while still being somewhat episodic. Because even if "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" presents a lot for the overall story, it's still its own tale about family relationships and knowing how to truly be there for the people you love. Resulting in a necessary and cute episode that ends on a wholesome note without any major surprises like--

Creepy Clone Luz: ...

...Dana Terrace, you lying--YOU SAID CREEPY LUZ WAS A FARCE! IN THE SAME AMA, TOO! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU AND YOUR SNAKE TONGUE, GOSH DANGIT!

...Alright, now that I got my overreaction out of the way, this was an amazingly well-written surprise!

Tricking fans into thinking that Camila is crying over the realization that Luz is gone, only to then reveal this...thing, is the best shock to the system that this series has done so far. Even better, it results in all the right questions:

Who is it?

What is it?

Where did it come from?

When did it get there?

How did it get there?

How does it know about Camila?

And why? Just, why?

To me, a series that presents all of these questions, and makes me excited for whatever answers are given, is a series that's doing something right. Because if I'm still reeling over something that lasts for a second, despite seeing the episode hours ago, that is a testament to how good a surprise really is.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Trust me, I want to give this episode the A+ just for that ending alone. But, there are some issues I have that are worth discussing.

Eda’s Outfit Change: I know. It's the nitpickiest of all nitpicks I could present. Particularly because Eda doesn't even look bad (although that's no surprise). The issue is that it feels weird that Eda's having this permanent outfit change in the fourth episode of Season Two. Or, to me it is, at least. Because I think that if you're going to give a small yet constant change to the look of a character, it should be done right away. Like, in the first episode of a new season. I highly doubt fans would question why Eda is wearing different clothes by then, so it wouldn't be too bad if the first time we see her, she’s sporting a new outfit. Again, this is just me, and I have no problems with the outfit itself. It just seems odd they would do this later rather than sooner.

Screwing with Eda: I...did not like this. At all. It was funny at first to see Luz and Gwendolyn lure Eda with Apple Blood like how Wile E. Coyote would bait the Road Runner with birdseed, but it quickly took a turn. Because I don't want to see Eda meet inconvenience after inconvenience from her mother and surrogate daughter. I like Eda, and seeing her happy makes me happy. If I wanted to laugh at a character's suffering, I would have picked Boscha, Mattholomule, Alador, and/or Odalia. This? This was just unnecessary cruelness to a character who doesn't deserve it. And it takes up a good chunk of this episode, making me question whether or not this would be the stinker I was fearing. Fortunately, the ending increased my enjoyment by several notches, but that doesn't change how this was the low point of "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances."

IN CONCLUSION

Despite the road being rocky in the middle, I still consider "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" to be another solid A episode. The first and last few minutes have some quality writing that adds more to the characters, ongoing plot, and mystery that the series is building up. It's one of those important episodes you can't skip when watching a series, but given how it's keeping the new season's impeccable track record, I fail to see how that's a problem.

(Although, I am scared. We haven't gotten a stinker yet, and I really don't want it to be next week's episode. It's a Gus episode with sweet Lumity content on the side! That cannot fail!)

#the owl house #the owl house season 2 #the owl house spoilers #the owl house reviews #luz noceda #gwendolyn clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #eda clawthorne #what i thought about #creepy luz

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borhap-au · 3 years

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“No one understands”

Part two of Eugene Sledge x Black Reader.

“Courage meant overcoming fear and doing one’s duty in the presence of danger, not being unafraid.” - Eugene Bondurant Sledge

They talked long hours about inequality and the need for change. Neither of them even realized how late it was, until the room was completely empty and Eugene’s friend came to tell them they need to close the coffeehouse. They took their things, thanked the boy and went out of the shop.

“Well, I promised to get you back home safely,” he smiled while Angel shook her head.

“Oh, no. The only person I don’t want to mess with in this world is my dad. And he won’t be happy seeing me with a boy,” she chuckled quietly and he nodded his head.

“I understand,” after he said that, she felt a little bad. The real reason she did not want to let him walk her home, was because she promised her friend she will not be that “stupid.” However, she talked to him for hours and she grew to really like him. She did not want it to be their last meeting.

So she added, “but you know what? I finish my classes at 3 PM tomorrow. How about we meet in the coffeehouse around 3:30? I would like to talk to you some more,” she gave him a warm smile.

“I’d like that. You taught me a lot today. I’d love to find out some more,” he admitted. She fascinated him. Angel gave him a double thumbs up.

“Oh, no worry. I will bring a whole new set of facts and figures tomorrow. I must admit, you were a great student. I’m proud,” she chuckled quietly.

“And you were the best professor I’ve ever had. If only others could talk as interestingly as you do. Learning would be much easier,” he complimented her and she was really happy to receive such a compliment. Some guys complimented on her looks, others liked her personality and sense of humor, but she hardly ever received a compliment about her intelligence, which was the most important thing for her that anyone could point out about her.

“So, do we have an arrangement?” she asked, waiting for his reaction. “Will we see each other tomorrow?”

“Oh, most definitely. I wouldn’t keep a lady waiting,” she smiled in response. They said their goodbyes and each of them went their own way. Eugene turned around a few times to see her again. So did she, right before she turned to a corner she would not see him from, and their eyes met. They both smiled embarrassed. She was the first one to wave at him. He waved back. Then he lost her out of sight.

When he came back home, he kept on thinking about everything she said. Her words resonated in his mind. She was so right, about everything. Before that, he always thought not being a part of a problem was enough. That day he understood how important it was to actually be an active participant in the fight for justice. Fight other than physical, which was the only type they taught him in the military.

The next day he came a little early, as usual. He sat in the same corner and drank his coffee, waiting for her to show up. He really hoped she will not stood him up. He liked her and wanted to get to know her better. Minutes passed by, and she still did not show up in the door of the coffeehouse, despite Eugene observing it closely.

“I’m sorry for being late. They kept me longer in class,” she smiled apologetically, throwing her purse on the chair and sitting next to him.

“Oh, it’s not a problem. I hope you got home safely yesterday,” he started a conversation after the waiter brought her order.

“Yes, I did. It’s pretty close to my neighborhood. We all know each other there, I always feel safe,” she smiled and sipped her coffee.

“The sense of community is always nice,” he said while nodding his head. She wondered whether she should ask that question, but she couldn’t really help herself.

“Just like the army, right?” Angel looked at him biting her lip. She was not the one to be scared of tough conversations. Her topics were usually difficult, since she didn’t like a simple small talk. She wanted her life and her relations to be deeper and more meaningful than just that.

Eugene looked at her surprised, not expecting this kind of question at all. He put his coffee away and took a deep breath.

“You were in the army, weren’t you?” she asked, not wanting to let go that easily. She wanted to get to know him, and his army experience was obviously a huge part of his life.

“Yes, I was. For over three years,” he liked her. He wanted to be honest with her, but it really wasn’t the kind of topic he wanted to explore.

“My friend’s brothers all went to war. Most of them even returned. They enrolled even though their father was doing everything he could to get that idea out of their heads. His own father was born into slavery and he could not understand how could anyone risk their life for a country that enslaved their ancestors, tortured them and raped the women to create more free labor. But they went anyway. You know why?” he shook his head. He had some ideas, but preferred to let her speak. “Because that is their country. It was created on slavery. Slaves made the United States. Not to mention all those asshole who’d say we cannot decide for this country if we didn’t fight for it.”

Eugene nodded his head. He remembered very well all the slurs he heard directed at the Black community. He reacted every time, but unfortunately it rarely changed anything other than the soldiers’ opinion of Sledge.

“Not to mention the Double V. Victory in Europe and victory here. Have you heard about it?” she asked looking at Eugene.

“Yes, actually, I did. I support the cause wholeheartedly. I can’t imagine how it must feel… It’s already hard enough coming home from war, feeling estranged and misplaced. I can’t imagine how it felt for them, coming back to a segregated country that doesn’t even allow you to sit in the front of the bus, even though you risked your life for freedom of that country…” he scoffed and shook his head. “The greatest democracy in the world, fighting with the nationalistic regime of Germany whose segregated country used the US as their role model for that separation.”

She raised her eyebrow and he nodded, confirming what he has just said is true.

“In the 30s, when they were isolating Jews from the rest of the society, they looked at the American model of segregation. I read a report on it. I guess the United States must be really proud to be such a great idol for others,” he said ironically.

“That’s just outrageous…” she sighed and then looked at him. “Can you tell me the stories you have of Black soldiers? I ask this question to anyone I know who went to war.” He hesitated, not being happy about speaking of war, but finally agreed, since he did not have to talk about himself specifically.

“The situation was no better than the one back here. The troops were segregated. At the beginning they didn’t even allow none of the Black men to carry a gun. I guess they were scared of a revolution, or whatever other thing white men thought they obviously deserved for their actions. So the Black men were used for other things. They unpacked the trucks, cooked, drove cars. Only later, when we were short of men, they allowed Black troops to actually fight. A lot of them became great pilots. I really respect their courage, cause after all they fought for a country which doesn’t even treat them like full citizens…”

“’Like actual humans,’ that’s what you wanted to say. You don’t have to be afraid of the truth,” she interrupted him. “It’s because of the Double V. We need justice all over the world, we need to stop racists in America, Europe and everywhere else. We don’t stop here, it’s just a start. We managed to win in Germany, so why not here?” she smiled, and her smile was full of hope that one day things will be better.

“I understand their reasons now. Thank you, it became cleared to me,” Eugene smiled. He already loved listening to her. She spoke with such energy and faith in her cause. “But I have to tell you, their determination was like no other’s. Because I don’t know a single white man who would keep on pushing and trying to get in combat for a country that segregates army’s bathrooms… Hell, they segregated even blood donations! Can you imagine that? As if Black blood was any different from white… I mean, it’s red. It’s blood.” She just shook her head with disapproval and disgust, but she was not surprised at all. What for him was a shocking news, for her was everyday life.

“There’s a great poem, I don’t know if you heard about it. It’s called ‘Beaumont to Detroit’ by Langston Hughes,” she looked at him expecting a reaction, but he just shook his head.

“I’m sorry, I never heard of it,” he admitted, ashamed he was not familiar with it. She took a book out of her bag. It was a notebook with a handwritten title: “Poems of Freedom, Justice and Equality.” She opened it on selected page and began to read the poem to him.

“’…I ask you this question/Cause I want to know/How long I got to fight/BOTH HITLER – AND JIM CROW,’” she finished reading the poem and looked at him for reaction. He did not say anything for a long moment.

“That’s… That’s a really good poem. And it touches all the painful spots. I’m just really sorry, on behalf of all men…”

“No, don’t apologize for them. They wouldn’t apologize. They don’t apologize and they won’t apologize. They don’t feel sorry. You feel sorry, and you have nothing to apologize for. You’re one of the good guys. We don’t judge people because of what they ancestors did to us. We judge people by their current actions. We want to be heard, acknowledged. We understand that living your whole life in a country based on slavery might’ve made you turn a blind eye on some issues. We understand that the systemic racism made you believe in certain things. We really know all of that. But it doesn’t excuse anyone from learning. The problem is very often ignorance. People just assume something is this way because it’s ought to be this way. Or they say something in supposedly good faith, and when we educate them about it being a wrong thing to say, they don’t want to acknowledge their mistake. That I don’t understand and I won’t accept. Everyone makes mistakes. As a white man, you cannot know about all the issues a Black woman faces. But you should be willing to learn about them and fix your mistakes,” Eugene thought to himself that this girl should be a universally known speaker. She spoke with such respect, intelligence and charisma. She knew how to put the issues so that everyone understood her. She could’ve been the next Sojourner Truth if they let her. And it was then when it hit him. Why has he heard of so many Black male orators, but so few women? Was it that the system wanted to silence Black women in particular? Was the problem rooted not only in racism, but also in sexism? Yes, of course it was. Eugene could not believe it took him so long to see how oppressed were the Black women, who had to fought not just with white men, but also with white women, who did not want to acknowledge their femininity, in order to cut them from the feminist movement.

“So teach me. Tell me, please. If you want to. What are the most common mistakes white people make? I’ll try to teach others about them, so we can all know better,” she smiled hearing that. She thoroughly enjoyed having such a clever student.

“First of all, stop with the ‘I don’t see color’ thing. I’m glad you acknowledge that a color of one’s skin shouldn’t be a reason to treat them as a lesser human. I mean, it should be obvious, but unfortunately it isn’t. But it’s not a good thing to say things like that. Because by ‘not seeing color’ you don’t acknowledge the pain and struggle Black people have to endure every single day. Another thing – could the white ladies just stop asking to touch our hair? We’re not their puppies to pet. And don’t assume you understand. Don’t talk about those issues as if they were yours. It’s not just for you specifically, of course, is directed at all white people. I hear all too often them discussing our experience as if they were all-knowing. You have no idea. You have just the point of view of the oppressor, even if you don’t oppress anyone knowingly or purposefully. You didn’t live the struggle, so respect the fact you don’t know how it feels,” he actually took out a notebook and wrote down some of the things she said, as she continued to lecture him. They talked about race and social issues, and then their conversation turned more casual. They talked about books and poetry and exchanged some names they might like to read. Finally, Eugene found the courage to ask the question he thought about for some time.

“Would you like to maybe go out with me? Like… Not for a coffee, for a dinner for example,” he smiled and then looked down, being a little shy. He did not ask a girl out since he was in high school, apart from that one ball after he returned from the war, but neither he nor the girl enjoyed their time there.

Angel smiled slightly, but needed to remind him of something that he did not realize as he usually did not have to live with it. She was not surprised he did not know. Most white people do not think of such things before making plans, because the issue did not involve them.

“If you can find a restaurant that will allow us to sit there, sure,” her smile was a little sad. In Washington maybe it would be easier, but they were still in Alabama. “They usually don’t allow mixed couples in the public eye, you know, not to ruin their reputation. Black people are hardly allowed in any fancy places anyway.”

“So… I invite you to my house. I’ll cook the dinner,” he smiled. Of course, he did not think of the reputation his household will have among his neighbors after that event, but if anyone reminded him of it, he would say he did not care. If they had a problem with that, then it means they were racist, and he did not wish to affiliate himself with such people. “I can pick you up from wherever you want. I assume your father may not appreciate my presence at your house.”

“Oh, no. Just give me the time and address. I will definitely be there and get there on my own. I cannot wait to see what you’ll make for that dinner,” she gave him a big smile. She wrote down the address and they agreed on the time. They were both really happy about the meeting. Neither of them commented on how happy they were, because they did not want to jinx it or appear weird, but they definitely could not wait for the Saturday to come. And it sure looked promising.

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imaginejamesandsirius · 4 years

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James having hanahaki disease and people thinking it's because of lily while it's of course sirius? Angst with a happy ending, please and thank you!! You're the best!

James had exactly zero intention of ever telling anyone. Unfortunately, that wasn't a very realistic goal, and he should've realised that Sirius was going to find out before anyone else. Of everyone he didn't want to know, Sirius was at the top of the list.

Listen, if James wanted for Sirius to know that he was hopelessly in love with him, he would've told him himself. When he coughed up the first rose petal, he'd looked at it and sighed. He knew that Hanahaki wasn't just about being in love with someone that didn't love you back, it was about being in love with someone that didn't love you back and never would or could. Your heart felt like it was dying, and your lungs decided to make that a real possibility. Hanahaki was terminal unless you managed to fall out of love, or the object of your affection managed to fall in love with you before you ran out of time. Naturally, both of those options were rare, so James wasn't going to hold his breath. Also because holding his breath was difficult now, but that was hardly the point. Also also, there were some people who thought that there was a less severe strain of Hanahaki, and if you could be cured, that's what the version you had. It didn't really matter because no one had been able to prove that theory true.

James was busy puking rose petalled bullshit into the toilet, and Sirius came in. There wasn't a way of covering, and besides, his ability to lie to Sirius wasn't the greatest.

Sirius knelt on the stone next to him and rubbed his back until it passed. "Have you told her?" he asked, passing James a summoned glass of water.

"Told who?" It couldn't be Mum, because Sirius would've said 'your parents' and not just Mum; he was awfully fond of Dad, it's not as if he would leave him out.

"Lily," Sirius said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why the bloody hell would I tell Lily?"

Sirius sighed. Like he thought that James was being ridiculous. Like he thought James was being obtuse on purpose. "I know that she's been pretty resistant to your- ahem- methods of wooing her, but maybe if you ask her on a date like a sodding normal person, she'll say yes." He didn't much sound like he believed it, but James appreciated the misguided attempt all the same.

"Yeah no, I'm not doing that."

"Oh come on, what's the worst that could happen? She tells you no? That doesn't put you in a worse spot than before. Just think about it, yeah Prongs? I kinda like you when you're breathing fine, I don't want to have to get used to a new version of you."

"Bugger off."

"Aw, you know I'm taking the piss," Sirius said, ruffling James's hair. "You couldn't get rid of me if you tried." He pressed a kiss on top of James's head, probably trying to be obnoxious and failing miserably.

"Yeah," James muttered, leaning against him. "Thank Merlin, right?"

So obviously Sirius didn't tell anyone, but James wasn't subtle, and he liked complaining about too-red flowers more than he cared about keeping his mouth shut. Which meant that James was complaining to Sirius about how he didn't even like roses, and couldn't they be carnations or something? At least then, he could wash them off and make a bouquet or summat. Naturally, people overheard him one of the times that he was saying that, and the news spread from one person to another until all of Hogwarts knew.

"I can't believe you didn't tell us!" Peter said, looking betrayed. "We're your best mates, and we had to hear about it from Benjy!"

"How is Benjy? I haven't seen him since he got out of the Hospital Wing," James said.

"That is so not the point, you arse." A beat. "He's fine, lots of colour in his cheeks when he'd telling us all the gossip we missed out on."

Remus glanced at James up from where he'd been concentrated drawing a crow. "You alright?"

James shrugged. "I've had better days."

Remus nodded, then went back to his drawing.

"You are no help at all," Peter said, glaring at him.

"Mmhmm."

"My point is, you should've told someone."

"Sirius knew."

"Padfoot knows everything about you, he doesn't count."

"I resent that, Wormtail," Sirius said, throwing his bag down and taking a seat on the armchair with James. There wasn't really room for two people on it, so he was mostly sitting on James's lap. "I might know everything about James, but that doesn't mean I don't count as him telling someone. He told me, I am a separate person, therefore, he told someone. Why do you care so much anyways?"

"Because if he'd told us-- all of us-- we would've been able to help him plan how to ask out Lily in a way she might say yes to! Now that everyone knows, she'll only say yes because she feels guilty, and that's not going to help him any."

"Do you realise that I can still hear you, Wormy?" James said. His voice was muffled because instead of resituating when Sirius sat down, he decided to stay where he was and just plant his face into Sirius's back. It smelled better this way.

"What, you're going to start caring when we talk about how hopeless your crush is? You're sick, but you're not dying. When you start dying from it, then I'll stop."

"Shouldn't you stop before he starts dying?" Sirius asked.

"Don't make this harder than it needs to be. Prongs, honestly, why didn't you tell us?"

"Because it's embarrassing, and not in a way I can laugh about. Just bloody sucks and keeps on sucking until one day I'll stop being able to breathe."

"Stop being so buggering depressing," Sirius said, and James could hear the frown in his voice. "It won't come to that."

Remus looked up again. "You sound awfully certain of that. What are you thinking?"

"Well-" Sirius leaned forward, dislodging James's rather comfortable position "-one of the ways to cure it is to get rid of the feelings, right? So all we have to do is get James to fall in love with someone else, and he's good."

"You make it sound like him falling in love with someone else is a given. Wouldn't they have to love him to or else it would just come back?"

"Who wouldn't love him? C'mon, look at him, no one can resist that."

Sirius sounded terribly certain of that, which made it all the worse that James was currently mashing his glasses against his face rather than change where he was leaning his head.

"Alright so Lily can," he conceded a moment later, "but she's just one bird. Luckily for us, James swings both ways so all we have to do is pick the most likely candidates."

"This is a horrible idea," James said.

"I agree," Remus said, and Peter nodded. "When do we start?"

Sirius pulled a list out of his pocket, and all three of them began going through it, adding names and striking off the ones that they didn't think liked James quite enough to be viable.

"Y'know," Sirius said, all fake casual like he did when he was upset with James, "this whole 'saving you' thing would be going a lot better if you weren't sabotaging it every step of the way. But I guess that's the James Potter way, yeah? Who cares if you die if you do it in a semi-romantic way?"

"I'm not dying."

"Correct me if I'm wrong-" he knew he wasn't wrong "-but Hanahaki is a terminal illness most of the time, isn't it?"

James sighed, settling in to wait this out. When Sirius reached this point, it normally meant that James just had to take it. "Yes."

"And-- again, correct me if I'm wrong-- but you wanted to play Quidditch professionally, didn't you?"

Trust Sirius to go right for the throat. He knew what hurt, and he was going to use it if it came to that. Obviously, he thought it had come to that. "Yes."

"And do you think you can do that with your lungs the way they are?"

"No."

"Interesting," he said in that way that meant it wasn't interesting, it was something he already knew. He had to get James to admit it so they could get to the part where Sirius asked him what he really needed to know. "So, why don't you tell me why you're willing to throw away your future with a career you've wanted your entire life, instead of trying to get over her?" And this is where Sirius dropped the fake-calm facade. "I get it, Lily's great, but she's not worth giving up everything! For fuck's sake James, I thought you'd gotten over her last summer, but now it's like nothing's changed! You can be happy without her, she's not the only thing you've ever liked about your life. I really need you to think, because this isn't a bloody game. This is your life. You have Quidditch, you have the Marauders, you have your grades even if the professional Quidditch career doesn't go through. How can you do this to yourself?"

James didn't answer. He just looked at him blankly.

"James, I'm not fucking around: Lily. Isn't. Worth this. She's great, she's amazing, you love her-- whatever! It won't matter in ten years!"

Still, he said nothing. He didn't mean to. He wanted to open his mouth and assure Sirius that he wasn't throwing his life away, but he couldn't get his body to respond.

And Sirius crumpled. "Fine. Just- fine. Go off and die when you refuse treatment, see if I care." He slammed the door behind him when he left. He never had been a very good liar.

Yeah. Maybe sitting there and not saying anything hadn't been the best way of handling that.

Sirius didn't come back for a couple hours, running off to the Forbidden Forest to waste some energy as Padfoot. James thought about chasing after him, but he needed some time to think, and Sirius needed the time to cool off.

From the moment he'd coughed up his petal, to Sirius finding out, to right before Sirius left, it had never occurred to James to tell him. He could perfectly envision the way Sirius's face would fall, if James told him. The way he'd say he was sorry, but he didn't feel the same. The way he'd suggest that maybe they should try dating anyways, just to see if it would work because maybe he would grow to love James anyways. James wanted a lot from Sirius, but never, not for a moment, did he want to force Sirius into something like that. Because when it inevitably didn't work, Sirius was going to feel more guilty than ever, and James was going to feel absolutely shattered that Sirius couldn't love him back.

He had tried not to think about it. That had been his brilliant plan. He could think about how much he loved Sirius's voice and laugh and smell because they could pass off as friendly qualities. He couldn't think about how much he wanted to kiss him or hold his hand or fall asleep next to him, because that was too far for friends. He put those feelings in a box and pretended that the box did not exist. Surprisingly, it was easier to do now that he had Hanahaki, since Sirius was so concentrated on finding James a partner that they weren't spending as much time together.

Maybe he should come clean though. Refusing to get over Lily was one thing, refusing to get over Sirius was another. Maybe he'd let James leave it all alone if he told him. That didn't really sound like Sirius, but he was willing to give it a try if Sirius came back as mad as ever.

"Feel better?" he asked when Sirius walked back in.

"No."

"Great," James muttered.

"I understood you fancying Lily, but I don't... I don't understand this. How can you be in love with her? You barely know her. She won't let you know her because you were a prat to her for so long. I know that you love her and I'm sorry, but I don't see how she's that important to you."

"You never asked if it was Lily."

Sirius looked up from fiddling with shite on his nightstand. "What?"

"Who I was in love with. You never asked if it was Lily."

"That's because it's so bloody obvious. You haven't talked about anyone else half as often."

Anyone except the other Marauders, but clearly, Sirius didn't think any of them were options. "You think I don't care about her enough for it to be her, but you don't think it could possibly be anyone else."

"Fine," Sirius said, humoring him. "Who are you in love with?"

"You."

Sirius froze. Then he glared. "That's not funny. How can you be so flippant about this?"

James glared right back. "I'm not going to bloody pour out my heart just because you don't believe me. Sod off. Go bother Remus about his muggle mates some more."

"...You're serious. It's me."

"Who the fuck else would it be?" James said, with far more confidence than he was feeling.

Sirius sat down hard on his bed, staring at James like this possibility had literally never occurred to him. "I..."

"I don't need to hear it, mate. Just. I told you so you'd stop trying to set me up with people. I don't expect anything from you."

Sirius walked over and sat on the bed next to him. Neither of them looked at each other. It wasn't awkward-- not quite yet-- but it was too close to that for James to feel good about telling him. "I used to hate Lily. So much for pretty much no reason."

"Yeah I remember."

"It wasn't for no reason. That's what I told you when you asked so you wouldn't get pissed at me, thinking it was blood purist bullshit. It was- erm. More than that."

"What do you mean 'more'?"

"Come on, don't make me say it. You know what I'm talking about."

"You're crediting me with more brains than I have."

Sirius gave him a flat look. "You're not stupid, you berk," he said, giving him a shove.

"Hey, I'm fragile. On death's doorstep."

Sirius gave him a small smile, one that was completely at odds with the way their banter normally went. "I've been in love with you since- Merlin only knows how long, and you only ever had eyes for Lily. It was stupid, but I thought that if you liked her a little less, maybe you'd notice me as more than a mate. And now... now you're trying to tell me that it is me. Kinda seems like a load of tripe, y'know?"

"I dunno, but if I kiss you does that mean you won't hex me?"

Sirius huffed, but that wasn't a no and even though he was about to argue with him, James figured this was the best time he'd get. He put a hand on the side of Sirius's face and leaned in. Sitting next to each other wasn't the best angle for this sort of thing, but it got his point across rather nicely.

"I think the real question is how in the buggering hell you let me make such an arse of myself for that many years without saying anything."

"I thought it was cute, now shut it and kiss me again. Merlin, you're a dick, I can't believe you developing Hanahaki over me."

James decided that kissing was both fun and a good way of getting both of them to shut it.

#prongsfoot #marauders #fanfic #sirius black #james potter #filled #getting together #no voldemort au #hogwarts time #siriuslystarbucks #Anonymous

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malereader-inserts · 5 years

Text

Of Heaven and Hell

Fandom: Good Omens Pairing: Crowley & Son!Reader & Aziraphale Summary: You are a balanced creature as you were made of the powers of Heaven and Hell Word Count: 1,908 Request: “Can you do good omens where the reader is their son and he likes someone but he too stubborn to accept it until they are in danger (Crowley teases him about it all the time)” Warning: Angels are dicks, Demons are bigger dicks. Blood, injury, stabbing, I mean it, it’s a bit gruesome A/n: Okay, I couldn’t do this request but I wanted to do a son reader so we’re going for some hurt and comfort. God shipping Ineffable Husbands

You’re not supposed to be alive.

Your existence is taboo in both Heaven and Hell. But damn anyone, angels and demons, to ever touched you. Your parents were very protective of you but they weren’t one to shy away from what you were and how you weren’t like other children.

Growing up was fairly quiet, your parents sent you to school so you blended with humans. Maybe if one of their sides visit them you could just pass off as a human, it worked almost all of your childhood. You were bright as your parents always fed you extra knowledge, in the courtesy of Aziraphale.

You didn’t need to sleep often so there were many spent nights on you reading books well in advance of your age. You were their little Nephilim, the perfect balance of heaven and hell, their greatest secret.

“I’m going out to hang out with some friends!” You called out as your fathers turned their head, “It’s with the usual, don’t worry.”

“I won’t but he will,” Crowley jokes with a smile, ruffling your hair and pressing small kisses around faces.

“Dad!” You moaned, wiping away the kisses he had planted.

Aziraphale chuckled, “Your dad will be the one worrying more than me, son, be safe!”

He presses a kiss upon your temple as you smile, nodding as you waved them off, pulling your backpack tighter as you unlocked your bike from a nearby light post. Crowley and Aziraphale love you so much, it’s unknown at what age you stop ageing but for now, they want to keep your teenage years pure and bright.

“Love you!”

When they were expecting you, the two had moved outside of London, in a little cottage. Aziraphale tending to his books at the book shop and Crowley annoying the city of London. As you disappear from view Aziraphale looks at Crowley, who was busy on his phone.

“I have a bad feeling, dear,” Aziraphale says with a worrisome voice.

Crowley looks up with his eyebrows raised, “And you said that I would worry more, I’m sure he’ll be fine, Angel.”

But, when Aziraphale agrees that he’s just being a little paranoid Crowley couldn’t help but feel that unsettling feeling bubble through his stomach. He hopes to somebody’s sake that their son will be safe.

You were coming back from hanging out with your friends. When you’re young and having a little freedom it does you good. Just as you were about to go back to the bike rack to fetch your bike, a hand had grabbed you from the back of your jacket, pulling you into an alleyway. Spinning out of your jacket, to see who had a hold of it.

Your eyes widen when you see Uriel and Sandalphon, but they weren’t alone, they were accompanied by Dagon and Ligur. It was Uriel who had pushed you against the wall, the four looking at you with great interest.

“So, this is why Crowley’s been ignoring Hell for seventeen years, an offspring,” Ligur sneers, poking your cheek, “I expected more if he mated with the Angel. He’s got heaven’s eyes.”

Sandalphon scoffs, “And hell’s smile.”

Dagon sneered at you, you were terrified, you knew what both sides were capable of. Whilst you know Aziraphale was made to be a soldier, you had training from him. He taught you how to hold up a sword and how to fight. You’d think that a soft angel like him wouldn’t but there was a reason he was guarding the eastern gate of the garden.

“There is a reason why I am called Master of Torments,” Dagon hisses, but not in the way your dad does it, you gulped, “I can feel the fear radiating off him.”

“You must know your fate then, Nephilim,” Uriel growled, her grip tightening as you wince, “So unfortunate that you cannot see your dearest fathers again.”

Death, you wished was quick and painless. But, the four had a better idea, make you suffer for your existence. Make you suffer because of your parents. Sandalphon had a good hit, a punch to the gut. He was great with his hands, but he was best at smiting.

Uriel and Ligur used special’s own daggers, of Heaven and Hell. You’ve cut yourself before with a regular knife, but the blades of the daggers upon your skin burnt like it tore your skin apart. You staggered to your knees. Your hands catching the fall, you could taste the blood in your mouth as you looked down at your oozing body.

The red liquid gushing out as they resorted to combat, their feet colliding towards your ribs. Stomping upon your hands, a boot to the face. Blood spilling from your lips and you found yourself begging for them to stop. But they wanted more, this is the most that they could do together as a team was to torment you.

Dagon was the Master of Torment, she was amazingly skilled with a whip. Tears formed as the leather hits upon your back, she wanted blood, the angels wanted your wings. Dagon whips you until your back was a bloody mass of open flesh in front of everyone else.

And your wings show. Bloodied and mixed with dirt and grime. Your wings were extravagant. It wasn’t a half-half wings. From your back, it was white and faded into grey then black. With Uriel’s pleasure, she made sure to clip your wings.

An anguished scream tore your throat, you were done for, you’ve convinced yourself.

“My child, (Y/n),” A holy woman’s voice rang out into your mind, “You’re powerful, you are loved, you are created and protected for a reason.”

“I can’t, God,” You choked out in the pain, “It hurts too much, God, I’m going to die.”

“You are of the balance sides. You are made out of Heaven and Hell, there is a reason why you have survived this.”

You grit your teeth and let out another scream, so loud that it blasted them back. Inconveniently discorporating them, however, the energy of your miracle took to much as you fell back to your knees.

“My dear boy,” God’s voice echoes, “Go, return home to your fathers. And in pain and virtue, you stand strong.”

“Wait,” You murmured, grabbing your wet dirty jacket, the pain in your back searing, “I am that bad for existing?”

“You’re not bad at all, my sweet summer child, the forces of heaven and hell do not want to see a world where the two can work together and fall in love. Your fathers have been one of the greatest love stories I’ve witnessed. You are good, boy, you are of trouble. But not enough to be hated.”

There was a weigh disappearing when she leaves. You put your jacket on, ignoring the burning pain that rips into you. There was blood everywhere, your blood, you stumbled yourself up.

You fished out your phone and see it had broken upon your torment, forgetting your bike you stumble home. The blood loss making your head fuzzy, you were sure you were still bleeding. Broken bones and clipped wings, you were glad that Londoners hated interacting with strangers.

Relief had found home inside your chest when you see the bookshop. It was dimly lit, indicating that it was only your fathers occupying the building. As you came closer to the door, you had miracled it opened. You were tired and upset that the doors opened with a bang and shut with the same force.

Both your parents come to the front to see who had interrupted them, but the sight to see had their emotions running wild.

“They found me,” You choked, tears starting to form, your hands are shaking and the two surged forward to their son, “It ‘urts so bad, please make it stop.”

Aziraphale’s jaw lock as he holds his baby boy, Crowley was ready to make an uproar in Heaven again.

“I was going to die,” You choked as you gripped Aziraphale tightly, the pain and fear lacing your words made them feel sick to the stomach, “They clipped my wings.”

Feeling emotions that were hard to describe as Crowley holds you from behind but you flinched. Crowley’s eyes widen at your reaction and gently tugs your jacket off. He cringes, he seethes, he closes his eyes to see the mess made by the whip.

“(Y/n), let's get you home,” Crowley whispers to you, soothing as Aziraphale examines your back.

The three of you get into the Bently, there was no comfortable position that wasn’t painful. It was tormenting that they had to listen to their son, softly crying. Upon the arrival of home, they sat you down on the bed, Aziraphale slowly waving his hand over your back to clear the open flesh, yet red nasty marks linger on. Crowley worked on the stabbing, leaving scars.

The two healed your broken bones, Aziraphale rubbing his thumb over your knuckles whilst Crowley rubs his thumbs over the cuts and bruises on your face. By the end of the session, it was almost hard to tell that you were even attacked.

You looked at them with tired eyes, “Thank you.”

Aziraphale puts a firm hand on your shoulder, “We can’t heal your clipped wings, but if we tend to them properly they may regrow again.”

“Okay,” You hummed, your voice hoarse, “I love you guys.”

“We love you too!” Crowley says with the utmost happiness, hoping it makes you smile - it does.

He wraps his lanky arms around you and pulls you close as Aziraphale looks at his husband with great disapproval. Sometimes, Aziraphale still thinks you’re as fragile as a baby. After all, you were still their son and the powers of upstairs and downstairs will continue to hunt the three of you.

“I think it’s safe to say we should visit each other’s respectful side,” Aziraphale mentions, sitting on the other side of you, “Maybe we’ll give them a taste of their own medicine for hurting our son.”

“Ah!” The demon exclaims, parting the hug with a smile that screamed trouble, “I’m dragon breathing hellfire at them again, no one hurts my baby without getting something in return.”

“Might take a while, I discorperated Uriel, Sandalphon, Ligur and Dagon,” Listing who was there, making sure they knew exactly who to target. Your fathers nodded, getting who to go for, “Oh, God also said something.”

“Big powerful lady?” Crowley asked, with a slighter higher tone, “Oh, well go on! What’d she say?”

“She’s the Lord Almighty, Crowley,” Aziraphale scolded at him, “Not some gossiper.”

“She said that she loves your love story and it’s the best she’s seen,” You interrupted before your parents get into another whimsical bicker.

“So, she approves?” Aziraphale says with a slightly nervous tone, as you nodded, “Oh good.”

“I bet she was fed up with you two though,” You joked, “6000 years?”

“Now, don’t you start with me young boy,” Your father scowled as your dad chuckled next to you, “Why don’t you get some rest, we can spend time at home tomorrow how does that sound?”

You looked at Aziraphale with a smile, nodding, “That’ll be nice,” You slowly get up and move to the doorway to head to your room. You paused and looked back at them with Heaven’s eyes and Hell’s smile, “I love you guys.”

Your parents smile, beaming almost, “We love you too.”

#crowley x male reader x aziraphale #x male reader #platonic #good omens #good omens imagine #good omens x male reader #personal favourite

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trauma-13 · 4 years

Note

All the asks 😈

Who hurt you the most?

My dad. He essentially walked out of my life when I was 12-13, and blames me for our lack of relationship and refuses to acknowledge his part in it.

Who have you hurt the most?

Oh hell. Uh, I really don’t know.

Who do you miss the most?

My mom, and my friends that I don’t see on a regular basis. @car-one-responding i’m looking at you.

Who do you want out of your life the most?

Happiness and to feel like I’ve made a difference in someones life. If that’s a stranger, a friend, my son, my husband, doesn’t matter. I like helping people. (I misread, I thought this said WHAT do you want out of life, not WHO. So to answer the original question, I wouldn’t mind my dads wife wandering off somewhere and never returning.)

Who had the biggest positive impact on you?

There’s been quite a few people. My mom and two of my nursing mentors are the first ones who come to mind. My mom taught me to never give up on your goals, no matter how hard it is and how much you may struggle. She taught me to what a good mother is, and was always present in my life no matter how busy she was in her own life. She gave me my love of nursing and helping others from a very young age, and continued to inspire me to join the nursing profession. She continues to inspire me to further my dream within this career. My nursing mentors are a married couple I used to work with, who I still speak to on a fairly regular basis. They’re the epitome of amazing nurses. D is the kindest person, she gives every patient a piece of her heart and cares for them like they’re her own family (even the frustrating ones). She’s so loving to her friends and family as well and goes above and beyond to help them anyway she can. M is also an incredibly caring nurse, who is the smartest human I’ve ever met. Not just in nursing, but in every aspect. He’s continued his education into his 60s to further his career and his knowledge to provide the best care for his patients. When I first met M, I had just started at my prior job, I was fairly quiet just because I didn’t really know anyone yet. I had worked there maybe a week or two, he put an arm around my shoulders and said “You’re kind of quiet, do you want to be friends?” and immediately he was my favorite person. Of all the people I’ve worked with through my 10 yrs in health care, D and M are the ones I miss the absolute most.

Who had the biggest negative impact on you?

Again, my dad. I have very good and fun memories with him when I was little, like 10 and under. However, he decided his wife and her children were more important than his own and he walked out of my life. It took a VERY long time (probably 10 yrs) for me to get over his abandonment, and accept that it wasn’t my fault and there is nothing wrong with me as a person that caused it.

Who do you wish you could be honest with?

I’m a pretty fuckin honest person, and I tell people like it is. There aren’t many people I don’t just speak my mind to.

Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?

I’m sure I have in the past, but there isn’t anyone who comes to mind specifically.

Who would the world be better off without?

The cheeto in charge of our country. Sorry, not even a little bit sorry.

Who do you wish you’d treated differently?

I was a dick in high school to a lot of people, and I don’t really think I had any reason.

What was the worst day of your life?

The day I got kicked out of nursing school. I obviously got back in, but it was a horrible experience.

What’s your greatest fear?

Failure.

What’s your biggest insecurity?

My knowledge level. I feel like I’m not as smart as I should/could be.

What’s your biggest regret?

Staying in my past relationship for as long as I did, and ignore all the red flags that were there since day one.

Describe your ideal world.

Cleaner air, less crime, less pollution (across the whole world), more green/renewable energy use, a safer world for my kid to grow up in. Married to my hubby, raising our son and possible a #2, to have the financial ability to help foster rescue dogs.

Describe your personal hell.

The current world we’re in.

What’s a hopeless dream you’re still holding on to?

Hmm. I feel like I’ve always had very realistic dreams. So probably the slim chance that I’ll win the lottery haha!

What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?

Probably when my douche bag ex got shitfaced, the PD called on him, they called fire for an evaluation because he had a lac on his hand due to punching glass, they wanted to take him to the ER and because he was absolutely obliterated he couldn’t refuse annnnd they took him to the ER I worked at. When I got there he was in full on 4 pt restrains and had been given the magical vitamin H. I shoulda turned and walked out then (or one of the many red flags before....)

What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?

When said ex threatened to hurt my dogs because I told him I was done and to pack his shit and get out. He pulled a knife on me and said he would kill me and the dogs if I tried to leave him. I figured I could probably keep myself alive if he did attack me, but if he hurt my dogs I’d have gone to jail that day.

What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?

Honestly? this last week. motherhood is hard. breastfeeding is fucking hard. I was having such a difficult time with breast feeding and postpartum depression that I had legitimate suicidal thoughts with a vague plan of what I would do. I’m fine now, don’t go calling for a welfare check.

What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?

Again when douchey ex threatened my dogs. They’re my world and I would do anything to keep my kids (2 and 4 legged) safe.

What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt?

Also this week.

What’s the most frantic you’ve ever felt?

Frantic?? uh fuck, the most recent time I can think of was the day before my son was born, my OB told me I had to go to the OB triage at my hospital because my BP was high and she needed to monitor JTD and make sure he was okay.

What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?

When I stood up to my douche ex as he had a knife pulled on me.

What’s the best case scenario for your future?

I’m a trauma nurse at a level 1 trauma center, hubby is done with nursing school working in his dream unit (either ED or ICU, he changes his mind daily), our son is happy and healthy, if we choose to have a second kiddo that they’re happy and healthy. We own a nice house, with a good sized yard for the 2 and 4 legged babies.

What’s the worst case scenario for you future?

Uh, I lose my rights to my son, and lose my license.

What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever felt?

Tie between labor contractions when i was complete/ready to pop the kid out, or when I had nasal surgery and they accidentally “forgot” to give me any pain medication through the whole surgery. Honestly probably the nasal surgery, it was constant, the contractions came and went, frequently, but there was a little break in between.

What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt?

I’m going to go with when I found out my ex cheated on me and knocked up the girl he cheated with.

Describe a time you felt like a hypocrite.

I try really hard not to be a hypocrite, I’m sure there’s times it’s happened but I genuinely can’t think of a time off hand.

Describe a time you felt like a traitor.

I really don’t know. Again, i’m sure there’s been times, but I don’t remember any.

Describe a time you felt like a hero.

I wouldn’t necessarily say “hero” but when I’m able to help people at work, and when my knowledge and skills benefits them.

Describe a time you felt inhuman.

This last week. It’s easily one of the hardest things I’ve been through. I felt so detached from my family and I just didn’t care.

Describe a time you felt like a failure.

This last week. I felt like I was failing as a mom, and that I couldn’t do anything right because I couldn’t even feed my son in the natural way I’m meant to as a female with mammary glands.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

Uh. Honestly the only thing that comes to mind is when i skipped a lease with my college roommate (the first time I went to college). It’s genuinely not that bad, but I can’t think of anything else hah.

What are you proudest of?

My son, my husband, my degree/license.

What’s your relationship with your family like?

With my husband and son, it’s great (now). With my moms side of the family it’s great as well, I talk to my mom every day, and my gramma and grampa every couple days. I’m also fairly close with my Uncle. My in-laws are pretty good too, my mother in law can get on my nerves but who’s doesn't, honestly hah! I have a decent relationship with my half-brother, Aunt and gramma (Nana) on my dads side, and my cousins. Literally the only one I have issues with is my father and his wife.

What’s your relationship with religion like?

I think organized religion is a joke. I’m completely against it. I don’t personally believe in God/Jesus/whatever, but I do believe in afterlife and that there is such a thing as past lives and reincarnation.

Talk about someone you’ve lost.

My grampy died when I was in 4th grade. He was an amazing man. He was very stoic and didn’t show his emotions much, but he always included me in whatever he was doing (fishing, camping, working in the yard, whatever it was). He showed his love in different ways, more with his actions than words.

Talk about someone who abandoned you.

I think i’ve talked about my dad enough hah

Talk about a desire you have that scares you.

To become a trauma nurse.

What’s something you wish you were capable of?

I wish I was able to do more first-responder stuff. I have the ability, just not the time currently.

What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?

Becoming a trauma nurse hahah

Describe the kind of life you wish you’d been born into.

Doesn’t everyone wish they had been born into money??

Describe your worst heartbreak.

When my dads wife texted me and told me “youre a selfish bitch, and he would be better without you in his life” and he told me I was lying, even with the text proof. I was 14-15ish. That was the final straw, and when I stopped trying to have a relationship with him.

Describe your worst disappointment.

When I was in nursing school and I failed the full body assessment the first time. I was anxious as fuck and over thinking everything. I technically passed based on points, but was asked to come back and re-do it once I had time to clear my head.

Have you ever taken a fall for someone?

Taken the blame? No. Own up to your own damn mistakes.

Have you ever forced or let someone take a fall for you?

No, I take the blame for my own mistakes.

Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?

I don’t think so??

Have you ever done serious emotional harm to someone?

I hope not, but maybe.

Have you ever self-harmed?

It’s been about 5 years since, but yes.

Have you ever attempted suicide?

Attempted no, but had a plan, yes.

Have you ever stolen something?

On accident when I was like 5 hahah We were in line at the grocery store, an you know they have all the little toys and candy and wtf ever at the check out lanes. Well I was looking at something and mom told me lets go, so I continued looking at it and followed her off. Mom realized, took me back inside to return it and apologize and the manager ripped my ass in front of the check outs.

Have you ever cheated on someone?

No.

Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes.

Have you ever taken revenge on someone?

Nah, people have a way of ruining their own lives.

Have you ever seriously considered killing someone?

Not had a plan to, but remember my ex threatening my dogs? Had he done it, i’d have attacked him.

Have you ever betrayed someone who trusted you?

I don’t think so?

Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?

Yeah, I regularly experience things all the time.

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the--blackdahlia · 5 years

Text

You’re All That I Need Chapter 3 (Tommy x Nikki)

Title: You’re All That I Need Chapter 3

Summary: It’s the early 80’s and Nikki Sixx is in need of a band. There’s one condition: no other alphas. That should be fine, since he found three betas to fill up the lineup to become Motley Crue. Or, at least he thinks they’re all betas. A collab between myself and @callme-kaz2y5-baby!

Series Warnings: M/M smut (18+ only please), alpha/beta/omega dynamics, mpreg, language, slight drug use, protective Nikki, (might add more as we go)

A Few Weeks Later

Tommy was a ball of nervous energy. He had played the strip before, but something about this setup was making him nervous. That, and what had happened a few weeks prior with the look Nikki had given him. It had happened a few more times and Tommy was really worried about what would happen if he couldn’t control himself next time. He looked over at Nikki who finished putting on his stage makeup, before they headed out.

“Tommy, wait,” Nikki smiled and took his grease pen to his face.

“What’s that for?” Tommy asked, catching his reflection. Two stripes on one cheek.

“War paint dude,” Nikki laughed. Tommy smiled and stood next to him, letting him wrap his arm around him as they headed down the hallway. Tommy felt his body tense and relax all at the same time.

“Think there’s gonna be anyone out there?” Tommy asked.

"Definitely, dude" Nikki answered, a proud smile on his face. This was going to be so much better than London, he just knew it.

They took their places on stage, Nikki slapped their set list on the monitor and the band kicked into their first song. The audience was less than amused, not even halfway through the first song and one of the patrons spit on Vince. Vince launched himself at the heckler, but soon there were more guys getting involved.

“Not our first show!” Nikki called out, jumping off the stage to help Vince.

“Drummer, don’t do it…” Mick started, but Tommy didn’t listen.

“Let’s kick some fucking ass!” Tommy flew off the stage as Mick rolled his eyes. But he proceeded to kick someone in the face that tried to overtake the stage.

“Get off my fucking stage,” Mick snarled. He might be a beta, but he knew how to fight like an alpha.

The fight was broken up by the owner, and the band and patrons faced each other until the crowd started clapping and loudly cheering "Motley Crue, Motley Crue, Motley Crue!"

“Won’t you look at that,” Vince smiled widely. Nikki wiped some blood off his face and looked back at Tommy, who would be sporting a nice shiner the next morning.

Tommy took his seat back behind his drums and they were launching back into “Take Me to the Top”, the crowd going wild with it. They played their full set, the bar fight look making their newfound fans go crazy.

They flooded off the stage high from the experience. Nikki felt extra aggression boiling in his blood. Stepping into the dressing room, he looked in the mirror to check out his busted up face. But what greeted him were red eyes peering out from under black bangs. Just what he had feared.

Tommy came in behind him, about to tell the bassist something, when he caught a whiff of something new; honey, with leather and Jack. He met Nikki's eyes in the mirror, where he saw the red, and everything started to click together. Not only was Nikki in rut, but he was it...

Nikki grunted out an excuse to leave and brushed past Tommy, lighting up every nerve where they briefly touched before he all but fled. Tommy helped pack everything up and load it in the van before heading back to the apartment. He was hoping Nikki would come back and that he wouldn't, he didn't want to see the parade of omegas Nikki would need to satisfy his urges.

Tommy was curled in his bed, hoping that the extra dose of suppressants would stave off a heat triggered by Nikkis rut, when the door to the apartment slammed open. He heard girly giggling and Nikki's growls, before the rhythmic thumping of the bed started, and Tommy realized this was going to be a long week.

After 2 days and 4 omegas Tommy bailed and went to sleep on Micks couch he couldn't handle the smell or the sounds any longer. Mick had just nodded knowingly and let him in the door.

At the end of the week the phone rang to let them know when rehearsal was, and that Nikki was back to normal.

***********

“Where’s Tommy?” Nikki asked when his rut ended. Vince looked up from the magazine he was reading and just shrugged. He had called Mick’s and told him if he saw Tommy, he could let him know it was safe to come back to the apartment. Tommy had taken the scenic route back home. He walked in the house, expecting to hear Vince tease him for not being able to handle his friends having some fun.

What he didn’t expect was Nikki to be right there in front of him, eyes a normal color but concern written all over his face.

"Hey, what happened? Where did you go?" Nikki asked with concern.

"Just thought you might want your privacy," Tommy mumbled walking towards his kit. he wished he could tell Nikki why he couldn't stay but in the US, male omegas were rare, and usually drew a lot of attention. Made him wish that he would’ve went to Greece when he presented, like his mom wanted him to. Male omegas weren’t a sideshow attraction there. But things had gotten better in the past decade.

"Yo Sixx, that revolving door of girls was impressive." Vince said off handedly. Nikki turned his attention from Tommy towards Vince.

"Huh, oh yea, but ya know they don't really scratch that itch..." Nikki replied.

"What do you mean, I thought for sure all those girls practically begging for you knot would be enough." Vince commented, unsure where this was going. If he was an alpha, he would love to have a few nights like Nikki had. Hell, he’d love that now as a beta.

"I got the impression that out bass player would be more interested in Male company," Mick supplied. He had gotten to the apartment before Tommy did, which surprised Vince a little.

"Mick’s got it,” Nikki confirmed with a sigh. “But you know how hard it is to find an unmated male omega in the West Hollywood area? It’s damn near impossible. And when you’re in a rut, you take what you can get. Girls had to be it…”

"Yea well I hope your careful, we don't need any little Sixx's running around," Mick pointed out, making Vince laugh.

"Yes, Dad always," Nikki snarked, "We gonna start this practice or just stand around and talk about my sex life?"

Tommy had been silently taking in the exchange, taking care to look busy, but hoping maybe Nikki might want him. But it was stupid. Why would Nikki ever want someone like him. Plus, if he admitted to them that he was an omega, that opened up a whole new can of worms that Tommy wanted to avoid. It was better to keep it hidden, because admitting to it could end up being dangerous.

“Hey T-Bone, wasn’t there a male omega at school?” Vince asked, slapping Tommy on the back.

“What? I don’t think so…” Tommy trailed off, trying to look anywhere but at Vince.

“Really? I could’ve sworn I heard there was a male omega in the marching band. I figured you would’ve known him,” Vince shrugged. “Maybe he was younger than you or something.” He shrugged.

“I bet he played the flute,” Mick laughed. Nikki cracked a smile, but when he looked over at Tommy, he noticed something off. But before he could say anything, Mick started playing his guitar, which prompted the rest of them to play as well.

****

The next few months flew by with a gig at almost every stage on the strip, landing an agent and a record contract. Then studio time, complete with all the chaos that came with making an album for a record company. And finally all that hard work led up to a real tour, not something in the back of their shady managers van. Tour buses, hotels, actual roadies, the whole nine yards.

“It’s gonna be hot chick city out there,” Vince laughed. “Like, California girls are hot and all, but think of all those farmers daughters in the midwest just begging for someone like me to...help them out,” He elbowed Tommy and winked.

“Does everyone in this band besides me think with just their dick?” Mick shook his head.

“I’m just ready to get out there,” Tommy sighed. He hadn’t been feeling the greatest the past few days. He felt like something was missing, and he was trying triple suppressants now.

“Hey, you okay?” Vince asked. Tommy turned to him and nodded, even though he felt like he was going to puke at any minute. Nikki looked over at the drummer, who was letting Vince rub his back and was leaning into the touch.

Tommy had to be the most affectionate beta he had ever met. If he didn’t know better, he’s say that Tommy was almost an omega.

The first three shows, LA, Dallas, and Denver were huge successes, but Tommy was starting to look kind of rough, he had lost a bunch of weight and always looked exhausted. Triple suppressants were not good on the body, and Tommy was starting to realize why they warned against upping the dosage without consulting a doctor.

Nikki sidled up to Tommy on the bus, "Dude, you getting sick?"

Tommy leaned into the touch, "No, I'm... I'm fine, just tired. I feel like I could sleep for a month." He wanted to stay close to Nikki. He smelled so good and he was so comforting.Nikki couldn't understand, something was clearly wrong with the drummer, but he couldn't put his finger on what.

"Well, we've got two days on this bus before we get to Chicago. Go sleep I'll keep Vince and Mick away from you." Nikki told him.

"Oh, ok, thanks." Tommy said, distractedly. He headed back to the sleeping area, crawling into a bunk and falling asleep quickly. Nikki frowned and made his way to Vince and Mick, who were watching the TV that was installed on the bus.

"Guys, I'm really worried about T-bone. He's definitely lost some weight and looks awful," Nikki commented as he took a seat with them, not really paying attention to the screen they were watching.

"Have you seen the pills he's been popping like they're candy? They look to be from a prescription bottle but I can't figure out what they are." Mick told them. Nikki sat up straight in his seat and looked over at the guitarist.

"Pills... what pills?" Nikki demanded. He hadn’t seen Tommy popping anything, but there had been a few times where Tommy had acted jumpy or scared when Nikki would come around.

"Really? You're the one he's hiding them from? We figured it was something you guys had gotten into because he's not subtle about it." Vince filled in. “But he seems to take it after we’ve been around a lot of alphas, so maybe he’s scared of ‘em or something.”

"That's it, I'm talking to him," Nikki said frustrated that the issue was drugs. If he fucked up the band because of a habit...

"Hey, let him get some sleep. Talk to him later," Mick suggested, "you need to calm down and he needs the rest."

"I guess you're right... why hide it from me though?" Nikki conceded. He rubbed his eyes and took a step towards the bunk area.

"It's probably because you're so protective of the band, he doesn't want to piss you off." Vince replied.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right,” Nikki shook his head and went to go lay down himself.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme

Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @livingdeadharley @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva

#you're all that i need #Motley Crue #nikki sixx #Tommy Lee #terror twins #tommy lee x nikki sixx #nikki sixx x tommy lee #fanfiction

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jasontoddiefor · 5 years

Text

Manor-Dad lets me drive the Batmobile

Summary: Bruce had two options when Dick found the Cave. 1) Tell him the truth. 2) Go along with Dick’s excited “You’re dating Batman!” until he figured out the truth.

Several children later Bruce wished he’d gone with option 1) or he wouldn’t have to deal with all his kids believing he and Batman were separate people. Yes, even Damian.

Tagging @3rdrandomthing for reading the unpolished version of this mess.

A tiny excited nine-year-old boy was jumping around the Batcave, dressed in dark Batman PJs with little yellow bats printed on them. They had been a gift from Clark and Bruce hadn’t had the heart to deny them Dick after the child had accepted them so cheerfully.

Much the same, Bruce now didn’t have the heart to use his short-term memory eraser on his young ward. Dick hadn’t cried much after his parents’ death and, unlike Bruce had been after the loss of his parents, he was a rather happy child given the circumstances. Nevertheless, Bruce wanted Dick to smile as many of those genuinely cheerful smiles as possible, and let him make a lot of good memories.

Discovering the Cave below the manor was most certainly a glorious memory for Dick, and Bruce didn’t want to take it away. Certainly, he could be convinced to keep it all a secret? Dick was smart, he knew when something was important.

Once he had made up his mind, Bruce stepped out of the shadows. The Batsuit was already back in its case, so he was sporting sweat pants and a comfortable hoodie. They didn’t heat the Cave and for all the hours Bruce spent sitting in front of the computer, a tank top didn’t suffice according to Alfred.

“Bruce!” Dick shouted when he finally spotted Bruce. “Look! This has to be the Batcave! Can you believe it? Did you know it was right here under the manor all this time? Have you met Batman…”

Dick trailed off and studied Bruce cautiously. His gaze lingered on Bruce’s neck, where this night’s fights had resulted in a small bruise and the coffee mug in Bruce’s hands.

“Look, Dick, I know this is a lot to take in-“ Bruce began to speak, but Dick interrupted him.

“You’re dating Batman!” he exclaimed.

Bruce blinked.

That wasn’t the conclusion he had expected Dick to reach. Before he could set the boy on the right path, Dick was already talking again.

“Of course! It makes so much sense! That’s why he immediately knew who I was and found me so fast when I was trying to find Zucco. You sent him after me, right? Can I meet him again? Please, please, please, I haven’t thanked him properly yet, and Alfred said it’s important to do that always.”

Dick jumped up and down, vibrating with energy. Behind him, Alfred stood with another tray of treats for Bruce and for once he looked about as caught off-guard as Bruce felt.

Bruce shared a look with Alfred, but he just shrugged in turn and indicated with a hand wave that Bruce should reply to his still rambling ward.

Right.

Looking back at Dick, Bruce could see him smiling brightly. He should correct Dick’s thoughts, but then again, it would be a good cover.

If anybody ever got too close to the truth and Dick accidentally talked – not that Bruce assumed he would, but he didn’t earn his title as ‘The World’s Greatest Detective and Most Paranoid Bastard’ by being unprepared – Batman’s identity would be safe still. Once Dick got older, Bruce could tell him the truth. For now, though...

“It’s a secret,” Bruce said seriously. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t!” Dick promised eagerly.

“You have to swear an oath.”

Bruce had loved swearing oaths as a kid. Nowadays, he knew that they had just been his parents’ convenient way of getting him to avoid telling Alfred about how many sweets he’d already eaten before dinner, but they had been fun regardless.

“Say, does that mean I can accompany Batman in the future?”

“No.”

“Bruce said I could join you on patrol.”

Bruce, dressed as Batman, nearly burned his tongue on his coffee. Dick’s expression was utterly innocent like he wasn’t lying directly to his face. Lately, he’s been spending a lot of time in the newly christened Batcave. Whenever Bruce was supposed to be sleeping or out in the city working for Wayne Enterprises, Dick went down to the Cave.

Sometimes Bruce thought that Dick had finally figured it out and was trying to prank him by feigning ignorance, but then he’d paraphrase something to Batman or Bruce that neither had said, and Bruce would know Dick was still in the dark.

“He did not.”

Bruce enjoyed Sunday mornings. They all slept in and ate breakfast together. He didn’t have to go to WE, Alfred allowed himself to relax for once, and Dick didn’t have school.

The manor had always been a quiet place after his parents’ passing, but it had never been calm. And even though Dick’s gleeful shrieks were echoing through the halls, Bruce felt at peace.

“Batman said I’d be safe in the city patrolling with-“

Bruce opened his eyes, staring directly into Dick’s blue ones. He had wondered about the sudden weight on his chest.

“No.”

“Awww, come on, B!”

Dick kept on asking, Bruce kept on protesting, and somehow it ended with Robin following Batman on the streets. Bruce still couldn’t believe he had let a child, practically a baby, talk him into taking him out to fight crime.

Not that Dick was doing any of that until he was at least thirteen. For now, Batman would make his rounds first, then take Dick out for an hour to accompany teenagers and women home in the dark, carry food to homeless people and track down lost pets.

Dick didn’t complain about it at all but poured all his energy into his task. He knew his job was serious and that the goal was to help people. If Dick dedicated about as much motivation to his homework, he could skip several grades. Honestly, it was like Dick simply enjoyed spending time with Batman, which was weird to say the least.

Bruce didn’t think he acted all that different around Dick as the Bat. He certainly got more careless about his posture as well, the more often they patrolled together.

And then, one night, after an actually fun patrol, he took off the cowl. It would be better if Dick knew the truth, even if he hadn’t deduced it himself. After all, his detection skills were something they were still working on.

“Bruce!” Dick gasped. “You were fighting with me tonight?”

“Of course. It’s always been-“

Dick rushed over to Bruce’s side, worry written all over his face.

“Is Batman alright?! Has he gotten hurt? He should have told me, I’d have been fine without going on patrol, and you shouldn’t endanger yourself. You’re already doing enough for Gotham during the day. Can I see him? Do you always jump in for him when he can’t fight? Has he gotten hurt often?”

Bruce took a deep breath and pinched his nose.

Maybe it was too early still.

“Sure,” he said, unknowing that this would be the beginning of a life-long commitment to self-love. “I stand in for Batman when he can’t patrol Gotham. What’s the purpose of funding all of this, if I don’t contribute?”

Dick nodded, though Bruce could tell he wasn’t satisfied with his answer. Maybe he would try again in another six months.

“Do you think Dad’s worried about us when we’re out on patrol?”

Batman very nearly crashed into the next building. Only his iron grip on his grappling hook and his years of training made his landing on the next roof look as professional as always.

Robin settled on the gargoyle next to him, still deep in thought.

“I mean, we don’t come back hurt often, but he always makes sure to check me for injuries again after you’ve done it. He is worrying, isn’t he?”

Batman was still stuck on Robin’s first sentence.

“… Dad?” He questioned.

Robin looked up at him in confusion before promptly blushing red.

“Don’t tell Bruce I call him that! I’m practicing it still ‘cause it sounds weird, and the first time I say it to his face needs to be perfect. I know I told him I don’t want a new father, and I don’t, I love my Papa. But he could be another dad, you know? Like, everyone has two sets of grandparents as well and I know that’s not the same, and I know he hasn’t adopted me, but I’m pretty sure he does love me like a son, he has called me that before. I know he didn’t do it consciously or whatever, and Grayson-Wayne would be like super duper long, and all teachers would hate it but-“

“Dick.”

His ward, his son, stopped talking, nervously looking down at his gloved hands.

“I’m sure Bruce will be absolutely happy to hear that and call you his son. You just have to tell him.”

Okay, so maybe this whole ‘Batman wasn’t Bruce’ thing did have some positive sides.

Dick grew with every month that passed. He got stronger and taller and Bruce trusted him with more and more responsibilities. He even took Dick to the Watchtower and it was a delight to see him collect clues about everyone’s identity, remembering even small details like Green Arrow’s preferred coffee brand, and inform Bruce of everyone’s identity within a week.

At thirteen, however, Dick still hadn’t figured out who Bruce was.

It was a little frustrating. Nothing seemed to shake Dick’s belief that they were two separate people.

“Robin,” Bruce growled in his Batman voice, before switching to his actually softer and more melodic tone. “I’m Batman.”

Dick stared at Bruce, cowl-less and serious, before being overtaken with laughter.

“Oh, jeez, B- you- Holy hell-“

“Language.”

“That was perfect. Exactly how Batman would say it!”

The direct approach really wasn’t working out for Bruce.

Even worse, Dick didn’t even seem interested in who Batman was. As long as he was kind to Dick, spend enough time with him and “treated Bruce right”, he didn’t care whatsoever about who was behind the mask.

“The Bat’s the Bat,” he had heard Dick tell Barbara once like that was a proper explanation for anything.

Barbara Gordon was a menace. An intelligent, blackmailing, smart, and confident menace hell-bent on putting herself in danger.

Bruce could go to her father, he really should, but Barbara hadn’t even been fazed by the threat.

“I know you’re just trying to look out for us, Mr. Wayne, but I promise you, we’ll be safe with Batman. I just need him to teach me some more kick-ass moves. Training with Dick is good, but he’s only learning himself still.”

Bruce didn’t even know where to start with that line of argumentation. He most certainly could keep track of two children at night, but he didn’t want to.

Yet, somehow, he found himself keeping watch over a little bird and a bat during nighttime, and playing Mario Kart with his son and his best friend during the day time.

#batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #Barbara gordon #alfred pennyworth #fanfic #batfam

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

Text

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 14 - Candy Page 27

==>

Alright, back from a brief excursion. I really, REALLY wanna fucking finish this. I want to see ROXY UNZOMBIFIED goddamnit, or at least get a REASON for her zombification, even if it’s just some Dirk-like villain who just cliffhangers himself away like a fucking asshole.

Also, comment on John’s whole rant... I guess John DID kind of want to be important. Or... well, not “important” per se, but rather at least impactful in his friends’ lives. It feels like they’re all walking dead through their own unsolved problems, trying to put on a pretty face, and nothing he tries to do matters, even attempted kidnapping. He feels as useless as Dirk THINKS he is, but he never really was. Gosh, I wish he’d pulled off that absurd kidnapping. Freeing people from this sort of thing is supposed to kind of be his jam?

Okay, reading the new page.

FUCK. TEN YEARS???????

Pff, John’s kid and sorta!Vriska. Yeah I can buy that.

Also I love how they type out “Harry Anderson” every single time as his full first goddamn name.

--God damnit, how is Gamzee still fucking things up ten years later? Hasn’t someone considered killing him?

Karkat and Meenah, also unsurprising. Too bad Dave has to die unsatisfied. >:(

Hm... this sorta!Vriska also has a weird Capitalization Quirk for Important Words, huh? --Oh right, Kanaya raised her. That might do it.

Hm, eyepatch?

Alright, the world’s falling into chaos. Did the world HAVE to fucking fall into chaos in BOTH TIMELINES where these supposedly-went-through-a-successful-journey heroes managed to eek out victory despite opposing reality’s greatest tyrant? Pfuh.

--and right. Alt!Callie reinforces the idea that even though this possibility “wasn’t canon” -- which... means Meat is?? D: -- that the lives within still matter when looked at within their own bubble.

JADE: while abstracted heavily, and fully freed from all forces of narrative gravity, these events still represent possibilities that slept within the hearts of all who reside here.

Mhmm, part of an extension of themselves, their uniqueness, their hopes and dreams and... whatever WHOEVER did to fuck Roxy over. Jesus DICK what’s happened to her I need to know you’d better fix this.

And somewhere within that mess, John Egbert is the best man at Jade and Dave’s wedding. He lasts nearly two hours before he gets a ruinous case of the sniffles.

Maybe they worked it out into ALMOST full mutual love? Even if Dave’s 70% gayness goes totally unsatisfied? I mean, I can hope, right? :(

Dammit, Jade, couldn’t you have done this properly? :C

and everyone knows that John has lost his family to Jane Crocker.

What the shit?!???

What drove Roxy away was him being depressed and just an all-around huge wet blanket who was impossible to live with. John is totally ready to own the fact that he was a bad husband, but maybe not the fact that he was a bad enough husband to drive his wife to passively support a brewing genocidal dictatorship. She looks happier, though, whenever he’s caught sight of her behind Jane—Calliope faithfully at her side—in any of the propaganda broadcasts that Jane passes off as business press conferences. By the time Roxy finally cut things off between them, he hadn’t personally seen her smile in years.

WHAT. THE. SHIT.

WHY DID ROXY DO ALL THIS THEN. WHY DID SHE OF ALL PEOPLE, ONE OF THE MOST FORCEFUL AND SMART AND COOL--- GUHHH SHE JUST VOIDED HER WILL JUST OUT OF OBLIGATION TO JOHN OR SOMETHING?????????? WHAT THE FUCK WHYYYYYYY

Characters choke. Characters make bad decisions. That’s fair. Andrew’s said that before. But John was VISIBLY RECOGNIZING HOW OUT OF CHARACTER ROXY WAS ACTING. WHYYYYYYYYY DID IT HAPPEN, WHY SUDDENLY DECADES OF MISHANDLED RELATIONSHIP WITH ABSOLUTELY NOBODY POINTING OUT THE OBVIOUS WHAT THE FUCK. AND ROXY WAS THE ONE WHO STARTED IT AND PUSHED INTO JOHN UNTIL HE ACCEPTED. WHY.

WHY.

Read. Calm down. Read. There had better be. A FUCKING. ANSWER.

Hi military rebellion leader Karkat.

KARKAT: OH MY GOD JOHN, STOP BEING SO FUCKING PATHETIC FOR JUST A MINUTE. COULD YOU DO THAT FOR ME? JOHN: i don’t know. that’s a pretty big favor you’re asking me there, karkat.

heheh

JOHN: i dunno. it doesn’t seem responsible, really... to dedicate my life to something so important when i’m in a place where i can’t even find the energy to think that getting out of bed in the morning is “important.”

Depression stuff, yeah.

John really needs a psychologist who isn’t just Rose.

pff, yifftrain.

That’s how the years pass. Faster and faster the longer it goes.

What. The. Fuck.

We’re not going to get any answers are we. Roxy just acted out of character for no reason, didn’t she. This is-- no, Andrew’s too GOOD at this for that to-- I mean-- is there a big answer he’s just not telling us-- FUCK!!!! D:

AAAAAAAA

This sucks. This sucks this sucks this SUCKS. But I’ll keep reading. I have to know. If I’m ever going to be able to stand, like, i dunno... homestuck rp i guess? i should probably keep reading. and hope i recover. eventually.

But that’s only part of it. Above this Earth, the dead cherub is still meditating, waiting for the day when she can have her own heroic apotheosis. Waiting for the day when she can confront the one she calls the Prince. And on this Earth, John is just waiting for the day that feeling finally stops. That feeling that he’s still waiting for something, and the even worse feeling that years ago, he missed his only chance to put an end to it. If you stand on a very high hill at dawn, you can watch your shadow move in an arc around you.

Yeah, reinforcing that John would be happier in the timeline where he did something and -- at least temporarily, since there’s hope of future revival -- “died” because of it, even if he wasn’t clear on why what he was trying to do even really mattered in the whole scheme of things.

...which is pretty weird when you consider the ending of Homestuck didn’t try to express that messa-- no, wait. I guess it did?

Yes, everyone went to the post-victory planet to live out indefinite lives, but there WAS still the stage play. Proving that John, at least, WOULD eventually step outside the happy ending to instead risk his life doing something important. They earned both possibilities, really, to choose from at their will.

...Aren’t there another dozen pages or so left in this Candy segment, though?? Are we gonna follow their kids or something?

==>

...Okay so stuff still needs to happen here, plotways. Good. I think.

A flash above the clouds catches John’s attention: another ghost, falling down from wherever it is they come from. John follows after the light with an exhausted sigh. The novelty of dead trolls falling from the sky has really worn off over the years. But he might as well go warn the new arrival that they’ve landed in the middle of an imminent warzone. He sets down at the edge of the crater and peers through the smoke.

He recognizes the ghost immediately, because he sees a younger version of her almost every day.

JOHN: vriska?

Vriska’s face snaps up, eyes blazing. Eyes. Actual eyes, with expression, color, pupils, and everything.

JOHN: wait. you’re... JOHN: alive??

PFFFFFFhahahahah!

That’s pretty hilarious. Vriska fell into the singularity and popped out here.

...Yeah, you can’t stand having missed the most “important” bit, can you. Too bad. You didn’t have the spotlight in the end.

==>

JADE: it is the one i have been waiting for all these years. JADE: we have run along parallel lines for what may as well be eternity, but my gravitational well has finally ensnared him. JADE: and now he is due to fall into this world.

Uhh, who? Davebot or something, from the postscript? Couldn’t be Gamzee, unless it’s, like... a different Gamzee.

“Chaos war”? That’s a dramatic title.

==>

Hmm, reading reading...

Will Dad’s passing knock any sense into you? Probably not.

...yeah, it wasn’t going to be that easy, was it?

Of course. Of course Dad died saving the President.

Although, she’s going to assign fault to Karkat and then want to start a full bloody war over it, so, the opposite of having sense knocked into her then.

JANE: UGH! JANE: That... that fool!! JANE: I can’t believe that he would do this! JANE: How could he do this to me!?! JAKE: Janey... JANE: The human president could be anyone! JANE: My dad can’t be anyone but him!

Jane, you’ve become a real asshole. :(

...Fuck you Gamzee.

GAMZEE: hEy. GAMZEE: Do YoU tHiNk ThAt MiGhT bE a BiT mOtHeRfUcKinG xEnOpHoBiC?

PFFFFHAHAHAHAHAAHAHhhh oh my GOD :’D

JANE: What? You think appealing to me with your disgusting little addiction is going to sway me?

Oh Jesus Christ that’s horrifying. THAT’s what’s been going on. I don’t want to visualize it, dear lord.

==>

Hahahah, catching Vriska up. She’s practically curling up in a ball like Squidward in future shock.

PFFF PUTTING PARENS AROUND HER NAME SHE CAN’T STAND BEING IRRELEVANTIZED LIKE THAT

JOHN: i was supposed to go fight lord english, but i didn’t. so now we’ve gone beyond, like, the event horizon of canon. (VRISKA): What the fuck does that even MEAN????????

Wait, shouldn’t YOU know exactly what that means, Vriska? Like, better than most people at least?

JOHN: all i know is that all of this is my fault.

JOHN: it’s been turning around in my head like this for a while. i thought... JOHN: why does everything here fucking SUCK so much? JOHN: how the hell did we even make it from point A to point festering clusterfuck? JOHN: it doesn’t follow any kind of logic i understand, or any sort of basic sense i have about who we are as people... JOHN: and why? why have we all ended up so unhappy and... twisted up?

Yeah, a BUNCH of people have acted really goddamn out of character and it’s unclear why.

JOHN: i got everything i wanted. everyone got what they— JOHN: what i thought they wanted. JOHN: and that’s just it, isn’t it? JOHN: the more i think about it, i’m the only factor that matters to anything.

--What?!? No!!! You could SEE that this wasn’t what you thought they wanted right from the get-go. It couldn’t have been YOUR imagination that this realm of alternative possibility was drawn from, could it? D:

JOHN: whatever i did, or didn’t do, just... destroyed reality’s ability to, like, substantiate itself, or whatever. JOHN: like there’s a bug in the operating system of whatever force in this world that regulates cause and effect. JOHN: everything’s been unraveling. nothing that happens makes sense anymore. JOHN: and now i’m the only person out here who’s even real at all! JOHN: hahahaha.

That’s certainly an idea at least, that people started acting out of character as we went further from “canon”. In fact, it’s kind of a slam at fanfics, maybe? Acknowledging that they distort the characters by understanding them in different ways, sometimes, and.. hm.

(VRISKA): Hahahahahahahaha... Wow, I’ve never seen a guy get his 8ulge all the way down his own swallow chute 8efore! JOHN: wait, what? (VRISKA): Good fuck. Do you actually think reality gives that much of a shit a8out you? (VRISKA): Get real, Eg8ert. (VRISKA): It’s not like you’re me. JOHN: ok, well. JOHN: that’s fair i guess.

Heheheh. ...Yeah, Vriska might pep talk him out of this self-deprecating theory of his. Besides, I mean... is that the ONLY cause for this whole fucking situation? That Roxy’s will got eroded to nothing arbitrarily either at random in a glitching non-canon timeline or because John kind of maybe thought something was going to happen and reality decided to run with it??

...heheh, “batterpanzers”.

I’m pretty sure caring what “c8non” is supposed to be is EXACTLY the thing you’re freaking out about, Vriska, whether you realize it or not.

Oooh, Gamzee. Do we get to see Vriska kill him?

Yeaaah... redemption ain’t for THIS sp8der. The ghost version of Vriska got the closest thing to redemption she’ll ever get; THIS version never learned any damn lessons and is not going to accept that she ever NEEDS to. Also, you said her name in relevance-reducing parentheses. Bad move.

==>

Yaaaay here’s the bunch of indigo blood we were promised!! :D

Where’s the nudity though? Maybe that’s coming.

He yowls as if he had actual testicles to be mauled, and for all anyone knows, maybe he really does.

It’s reassuring to see that while Andrew is more than willing to give us WAY too much genital detail in some cases throughout this epilogue, he still knows how to deftly exploit the parts of anatomy that still AREN’T explicitly characterized and remain intentionally vague for their impactful resulting humor. :)

She lunges at Gamzee’s catastrophic face lips-first, and practically dives into his mouth, ramming her tongue into his

NOOO FUCK HE WAS ABOUT TO DIE AAAAAA D’:

FUCK :(

Okay, back on to anything but this.

==>

Oh shit, double Vriska. This might be bad.

...Phew. Nice save, John.

JOHN: ha ha. yeah, right. because this is real life, right? JOHN: i guess reading narrative relevance into a bunch of dumb and totally random events is kind of lame and childish. ROSE: No, that isn’t what I meant at all. ROSE: By all means, apply a narrative to our lives. Up until a certain point, it would have been perfectly accurate to do so. ROSE: But not anymore. JOHN: because... it’s not canon, right? ROSE: Do you remember what I told you years ago? About the three pillars of canon?

Wuh-oh.

ROSE: As I explained to you on that morning sixteen years ago, there are three critical features of canon: essentiality, relevance, and truth. JOHN: yeah. ROSE: We have been untethered from the mooring of “truth” for some time now. ROSE: So while we, in our subjective experiences of conscious perception, feel in this moment that we have known each other for a very long time, technically it’s not true at all.

...Okay. Okay.

So. Were, like.

Roxy and Calliope affected by the, like... “untruth wave” of his choice not to go the hardest, because he made it in their vicinity? And that turned Roxy into a hypnozombie with minimal apparent free will? :C

...Oh wow. She’s thanking John that she got a chance to be happy in this side timeline, even if so many other people suffered. Because of the fucking hell Dirk was about to unleash on her in the Meat timeline. Fuck.

ROSE: In the silly wizard story I wrote when I was a child, ROSE: The realm most comparable to heaven existed in a state of subliminal conditionality, dependent on the inscience of the individual experiencing it. ROSE: Which is to say that it would cease to exist the moment you realized what it was. ROSE: And so, those with knowledge could never truly be happy.

Oh wow, huh. Yeah, knowing you’re just in a fanfic kind of screws your appreciation for life around you, huh. So John got fucked over a bit by his metatextual awareness. :(

And... Rose was, like, cut off by his choice from her own metatextual awakening, maybe? Hence her ability to appreciate a life somewhere disconnected from anything “canon”?

ROSE: But that isn’t me anymore. ROSE: I am blind against the veil of this world. ROSE: It’s all ambrosia to me. ROSE: I don’t care if it’s not true. I care even less if it’s not canon. ROSE: I have a beautiful wife who I love more than I thought possible, and a daughter who I am immeasurably proud of. ROSE: It can all be senseless, ephemeral noise that dissolves in the void. A whisper swept up by the wind before it’s uttered. ROSE: I’m still grateful to have felt this way.

:’)

Alright, this might be a pretty good way of accepting their potential happiness in different timelines as a potential substitute for Dirk’s mess. I’m not sure HOW well I’ll be able to internalize it to stop the stomach cramps, but we’ll see.

We still have a little bit more left, though. Next post.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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popwasabi · 5 years

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Remembering My Hero, Robin Williams, Five Years Later

Not terribly long ago I used to deride others for feeling sad in the wake of a famous celebrity’s death.

My argument would go something like in the grand scheme of things their deaths “didn’t matter” when compared to various other atrocities and terrible, tragic things going on in the world. I even wrote an entire opinion piece poo-pooing the general populace for being sad in the wake of Whitney Houston’s death waaay back in 2012 for my University paper back in the day all largely because since I didn’t feel anything no one else should essentially.

Then Robin Williams died.

Well, more accurately Robin Williams committed suicide then everything changed for me.

To this day, I can’t recall a single death that has affected or beat me down more than this famous, larger than life comedian’s all too early passing and it still eats me up every time I think about it even five years later. You see, Robin was something of a hero of mine, an uber talented and charismatic funny man who seemed to perform his comedy with the kinetic energy of a hurricane and his humor often brightened my darkest moments growing up.

For him to die the way he did was beyond devastating for me.

Every 90s kid grew up on his various memorable performances. Whether it was “Aladdin” as the Genie, Peter Pan in “Hook” or masquerading as a nannie to win his family back in “Mrs. Doubtfire” we all had one performance that made us all fans early on.

(For some reason I always remember “Flubber” first though haha)

I didn’t start to truly appreciate him though until high school when I discovered his comic stand-up routines from his earlier years.

Despite not growing up in 70s or 80s his humor was nonetheless electric, unlike any previous comic I had seen up until that point and his impressions of Ronald Reagan, Henry Kissinger and Richard Nixon are still among my favorites. Live at the Met is an all-time favorite comic stand-up performance and much later Live on Broadway still has one of the greatest closing jokes ever:

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(”Harder than Chinese Algebra” is definitely a line I’ve used in my college years)

What I loved most about his performances was that he could be boisterous and sincere at the same time. Being both genuine and vulgar simultaneously and in the best way. Weave bizarre character references into personal tales of his own life. Tell a multitude of hilarious stories and references at 100 miles a minute like a comedic roller-coaster ride that lasted the duration of his performances and you never wanted to get off it. It’s true when Time Magazine referred to his comedy as something all comedians loved and respected but could never in a million years duplicate. Robin was a one of a kind talent, the penultimate original, and fans loved him for it.

Robin did his performances with such natural gusto and spontaneous hilarity that it might shock you to know he always wrote virtually every line of his stand-ups before his performances. To bring that humor to life with such infectious joy takes real talent and no one can ever deny Robin was one of the best if not the best at it.

The remarkable thing is on top of his stand-up the dude was an all-time great actor on top of that displaying ranges from as absurd as “Death to Smoochie” and “World’s Greatest Dad” to as sensitive and thought provoking as “Good Will Hunting” and “Dead Poet’s Society.” Robin wasn’t afraid to show a darker side either in famous roles such as “Insomnia” and “One Hour Photo.” His range was simply amazing.

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(Personally my favorite^)

Like many high-schoolers, I was angsty teenager prone to hormonal anger and twitches, depressed I couldn’t score girls and that I wasn’t popular but at the end of the day I always had Robin to cheer me up.

As I became more and more a fan I’d read more into his life learning I actually had quite a few things in common with the famous funny man from a love of all things sci-fi including even anime and Warhammer to a deep appreciation of video games as he famously named his daughter Zelda after the titular Nintendo princess of the same name.

He was not just a comedian to me; he was one of us. America’s favorite funny, semi-secretly nerdy uncle and I loved him for it.

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(The sweetest Nintendo commercial ever. #uglycrying)

I would carry my love of this magnificent comedian into college where I would routinely re-listen to his greatest hits when I was at my lowest of lows and boy did I have plenty of them during this period of my life and many of them revolved around suicide.

For reasons that are too personal to expand on, I had a friend who I was close with early in college who had some deep mental health and abandonment issues. She would constantly fear the worst out of others’ intentions and whether I would stick around with her to help her through it all in life. This put a heavy drain on myself and eventually it broke me enough to just attempt to cut her out of my life.

So, she threatened to kill herself when that happened.

If you’ve never tried talking someone down out of suicide before it is by far the scariest thing I have ever had to do and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. To try to reason with someone who is convinced that their life is meaningless that no one cares about them that they are better off dead than alive is unlike any terror I’ve ever experienced. What scared me the most was what I would do with myself if I failed to talk her down. Could I live with myself if I couldn’t do enough to save this person? Is the blood on my hands too since it was my actions that drove her to this point?

Well, long story short, I did succeed in talking her down but it left a tremendous mark on my soul that I don’t think I’ll ever forget (it also would not be the last time this would happen). I did eventually move on from this person (for both our sakes) but the depression it left within in me still stings.

There are limits to emotional dependency that we should all understand and in my need to fix everything for those I cared about I started not to care about myself and it damn near killed me. You should always try to feel empathy and help those who are need but you can’t forget about yourself in this regard because it will destroy you too. Painfully and slowly.

That semester I listened to probably more Robin Williams than I ever had in the past. His humor keeping me from being an unfeeling zombie and my mind from breaking from the stress of that year (there were other events that compounded what was going on.) Robin kept me going, kept me laughing in a period I didn’t have a lot to feel joyful about and I’ll always be grateful to him for that.

Then a few years later, as well know now, on August 11, 2014 Robin took his own life.

Like most everyone else I was shocked, distraught, and in total disbelief. How could a man who had seemingly endless joy and lived by all measures a far more successful life than most people ever would feel the need to kill himself?

It was tragic beyond comprehension.

The aftermath of course was an outpouring of love and support to the Williams family particularly his children but there was also the detractors as well. People who denounced him as some sort of coward for taking his own life, Christian zealots who believed he was rotting in hell for his sin and all matter of bad takes regarding him being too privileged to be depressed. It was infuriating and broke my heart all at once. Here was a man who more than most probably deserved a happy ending, dead by his own hands and now subjected to dumb moronic statements by people who probably will never understand what depression does to someone.

You’d would only need to a modest amount of research to understand where Robin’s depression could come from though. Despite growing up in an affluent household his father and mother were rarely there with him, raised practically by the maids in his household and by himself most of his childhood. He had survivor’s guilt for being in the same room John Belushi died in many decades prior (which would become a wake-up call for his own drug addictions). Also, he was great friends with the late Christopher Reeves who went to school with him Julliard and that shouldn’t require too much explaining there.

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(Personal pain never stopped Robin from lampooning himself of course)

But the real death knell probably came at the end when months prior Robin’s suicide he was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia Association and early stages of Parkinson’s disease. Now anyone being diagnosed with these conditions would be devastating by itself but if you frame it in the mind of Robin Williams, a man who’s comedy and charm relies almost entirely on spontaneous-ness, extreme attention to detail and constant joy this is like losing the very thing that made you who are, what people love you for; your core identity.

Robin was no longer going to be Robin.

I’m not asking people to like suicide or accept every instance of it but people should try to understand why and not judge others for it. Sometimes the demons are just too strong and we can’t fault others especially a mind as crippled as Robin’s was at the end.

If there’s one positive that came out of Robin’s suicide, it’s that the conversation on depression and mental health has notably shifted since that time. In the years since, it’s more acceptable now to feel sad no matter what your background is; you didn’t need to be a coal miner with black lung or a soldier with PSTD to be acceptably depressed anymore (and no, before any of you start I’m not judging those people). Athletes and celebrities alike such as Demar Derozan, Ryan Reynolds, Serena Williams, and Chris Evans have all come out about their own personal struggles with their inner demons. It’s now okay more than ever to feel inadequate even if on paper you have ever reason not to feel that way.

Though society hasn’t become completely understanding of mental health issues yet society is still a lot more open about it than it was before at least. It’s not a silver lining, don’t make that mistake with what I’m saying, but it’s comforting in a strange way knowing that even in death Robin can inspire positivity.

It’s a shame and tragic that Robin didn’t get age gracefully into his twilight years and given the current state of the country and the world as a whole we could definitely use that trademark wit to lampoon our reality right now but I’m glad that Robin helped keep me going in my most formative years.

(I mean seriously though, could you imagine Robin getting a crack at this motherfucker today on stage?)

It’s not hyperbole to call Robin Williams one of the greatest entertainers of all-time and though his time in this world was cut short by his own hand he has still left an indelible mark on myself, his fans and the rest of the world. Depression and mental health is a fact of life, generally speaking all of us will struggle with it at some point but if we can get help early and not be afraid to ask for it or even cry for it then maybe the world won’t feel so dark for us all.

So please, let’s all remember to take care of ourselves whether that’s seeking friends or professional guidance. There is strength in sadness, power in grief and love when you are lonely. You owe it to yourself to seek help and trust me, there’ll be arms open to bring you in.

Because you matter.

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Thanks, Captain.

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atc74 · 5 years

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Welcome to the Family

Square Filled: First Born

Warnings: Pregnancy, labor pains (not graphic), Rob being an adorable bundle of nerves, emergency surgery, birth of a child, Daddy!Rob

Summary: Baby Benedict makes an appearance a little ahead of schedule and Dad is not ready.

Pairing: Rob x Angelina (Robelina)

Word Count: 2988

Written for: @spngenrebingo

Beta’d by: @iwantthedean, my other half, who always knows what I need. I'm so glad I found you. I love being around you. You make it easy, It's easy as one, two, one, two, three, four. There's only one thing, two do, three words four you. I love you. I love you. And also, @hannahindie, her ovaries will never be the same.

Inspired by the song ‘1, 2, 3, 4’ by the Plain White T’s. I heard this in the shower the other day and then played it a few more times. I love how it fits into this story and I imagined Rob sitting there with baby in his arms, telling him/her how much he loves them, how they make everything better and just confessing his love for their baby that is only hours old, but means the world to him already. Also, inspired by true events of the birth of my son in 2008.

This is the latest in my self-indulgent, self-insert series, Say It Like That

“I thought you said we had another week until the baby comes!” Rob was panicking. It would have been kind of adorable if I wasn’t in pain. I had been having contractions off and on all day. When they hit ten minutes apart and my water broke, I first called my doctor, then I gave Rob the news.

“I said the baby was due in one week,” I grunted, breathing through another contraction. “Babies come when they want to, whether we are ready or not.”

“But, we’re not ready!” Rob was rummaging through a pile of clothes on the chair, looking for something that was semi-presentable to wear to the hospital.

Let’s take a step back for a minute. My contractions are still ten minutes apart, we have a little time.

I was ready. I had been ready since the day I discovered I was pregnant. I was ready when I told my husband on our wedding day that we were expecting. I think I was ready for this the day he proposed -- hell, probably the day we met.

I never thought I would want another child, but Rob changed all that. Still, as excited as he was, he was not ready. The man could put on shows on multiple continents, in several countries for thousands of fans, but he could not find a pair of pants to save his life at that moment. I sat back and watched, slightly amused. I was ready, Rob was not.

My bag and a bag for the baby had been packed for two weeks, maybe three. I had even packed Rob a change of clothes and a toothbrush, knowing there could be at least one overnight stay involved. Luckily, it was spring break for Olivia and she was spending the week with my parents, and it was one less thing we had to worry about.

Rob finally pulled on a wrinkled flannel and a pair of jeans that probably could use a washing, but at least he was dressed. “You said…”

“Rob, I love you with everything that I am, but I am only responsible for what I say, not for what you hear,” I held up my hand to stop further buts and debate. With as stubborn as we were, it really could go on all night, and that kind of time we did not have. I stood, hands on my lower back. “Can we continue this discussion in the car please?”

“Oh, right. Baby!” Rob ran downstairs ahead of me, presumably to grab the bags and get them in the car and come back for me. I reached the bottom of the stairs, and the front door was open.

“Rob!” I called knowing he couldn’t have gone far. The car was in the garage so I headed that way, the bags right where they had been since I packed them.

Opening the service door, I saw Rob sitting in the car, hands gripping the wheel at ten and two. I grabbed his keys from the hook and waddled my way to the car. His eyes opened wide at the sight of me at his window. He quickly got out and grabbed the keys.

“I’m so sorry, pretty girl. I don’t know where my head is,” Rob apologized.

“Babe, it’s okay. We still have some time. Can you grab the bags please, by the door?” I added, knowing he would probably go all the way upstairs.

I gingerly climbed in the car and got comfortable. To avoid any unnecessary incidents, I pressed the opener. The heavy double door slowly lifted and all I could see were the white flakes falling from the sky. I should have expected it.

Rob rushed back into the garage, haphazardly throwing the bags in the back, and jumped in the driver's seat. He looked at me and smiled that million watt smile, his eyes bright and shining and took my hand. “Let’s go have a baby.”

“Let’s go have a baby,” I echoed, then wrenched his hand in mine as another contraction hit. I practiced the breathing we had learned, but at this point, I didn’t know if was working. I hadn’t opted for a natural birth; I wasn’t stupid and hoped that we got to the hospital with enough time for the epidural cocktail. I successfully managed to breathe my way through it, but knew there would be at least two more until we arrived.

The roads weren’t bad as Rob navigated the twenty or so miles to the hospital. I decided it was a good time to text my parents, siblings, Rob’s siblings, and his ex-wife just to let everyone know something was happening. With promises to keep them updated, I stowed my phone and concentrated on the road.

I absentmindedly checked the time as another contraction hit. Shit! That was only eight minutes. I called my doctor’s office to give them an update and I was assured that Dr. Grant was already on site and would be waiting for me.

“Babe, I need you to go a little faster, ‘kay?” I groaned from my seat, clutching his arm as the pain rippled through me. I had never gotten this far with Olivia when she was born. There had been complications and, an emergency cesarean later, I had a beautiful baby girl with a perfectly shaped head of dark curls. It had been more than eight years and I wanted to try again, but damn did it hurt.

Rob sped up as quickly as the roads would allow, and I could see the hospital. I breathed a sigh of relief. Within minutes, Rob pulled up outside the emergency doors where a nurse was waiting for me with wheelchair. Rob helped me from the car and rushed inside, but the nurse stopped him before he got too far.

“Mr. Benedict, we have plenty of time. Go park your car, get the bags and meet us inside, okay?” She was calm where my husband was a nervous wrecking ball of energy.

“Baby, it’s fine. I ain’t going anywhere,” I assured him, trying to get him to relax a little. He nodded, kissed me quickly then got back in the car.

“I want a room and I want an epidural now!” I told the nurse as she pushed me inside.

“You know the drill, ma’am. We have to examine you first,” she replied rationally.

~*~

“Angelina, how are we doing tonight?” Dr. Grant entered my room. Rob was nervously pacing after the last contraction. I had been admitted over an hour ago.

“Splendid, Doc. How’s tricks?”

“Well, you still have a sense of humor...for the time being,” he replied with a tight smile. Dr. Grant doctor wasn’t a charismatic man, but he was a damn good doctor.

“So Phyllis says things are looking good. Dilated to a four, fully effaced and ready for that epidural,” he recounted from the chart.

“Yep, yep, yep!” I chirped out. “Fuck!” Another contraction consumed me.

Dr. Grant noted they were still eight minutes apart. “Things seem to be moving slow, just like with your first. We’ll keep an eye on it, but I’ll send in the anesthesiologist.”

“Thank you,” I replied, not feeling the greatest. I had pain in my lower back and hips and couldn’t get comfortable in the grossly uncomfortable hospital bed. I groaned in discomfort.

“Hey pretty girl,” Rob cooed, sitting on the edge of the bed. “What can I do for you? I feel useless, just waiting around for something to happen and you’re in pain and I can’t do anything to help.”

“Rub my back?” I whimpered. Soon enough, his warm and calloused hands were working at least a little bit of magic on the sore and tight muscles.

“That better?’ Rob whispered. I nodded and closed my eyes, trying to get a little rest before the inevitable.

“Just lay with me a bit?” I yawned, the day finally catching up with me.

Rob curled up behind me on the bed, his hands slipping under the itchy gown, rubbing soothing circles over my swollen belly. The silence and comfort of it all was short-lived, but Rob breathed right alongside me through the pain.

“It’s not as bad when you’re here. I think the rubbing helps,” I smiled, turning my head to catch his lips with mine.

Three contractions later, another doctor popped her head inside the room. “Hi! I’m your anesthesiologist, Dr. Harris. How’re you doing?”

“Spectacular and in need of rest and drugs,” I replied.

“Well, I can give you one and the other will come,” she entered the room, followed by a nurse pushing a cart housing a tray filled with all sorts of supplies.

“Alright, Dad, if you want to help Mom sit up, we can get started,” she explained to Rob. “I’ll need you at the edge of the bed, your legs hanging off the side, alright?”

Rob eased himself from the bed and helped me into a sitting position. I threw the covers to the side and scooted my bum to the edge. The doctor had positioned herself behind me and untied my gown. The nurse began prepping the injection site and I jumped when the cold, wet gauze hit my heated skin.

“Angelina, I’m going to need you to be real still for this part, okay?” I nodded my head in understanding. “Dad, can you stand between her legs and wrap your arms around her in a bear hug?”

“Sure, yeah, okay,” Rob hesitated, but slid between my legs and I reached up, locking my arms around his neck. “Why are we doing this?” He looked into my eyes.

“Because it’s going to hurt like a bitch and your arms around me will keep me still,” I explained and readied myself. Even though it had been years, I still remembered the sensation I felt the first time I went through this.

“Okay, on three...one...two...three.” My face contorted in pain at the initial jolt. I squeezed Rob as tight as I could, then the burning started to fade and I could feel my body relaxing. I loosened my grip on my husband, and he pulled back enough to meet my eyes.

“You okay?” he murmured, leaning in and pressing small kisses to my temple.

“I will be in just a minute or two,” I sighed. The nurse finished up and quietly left the room. The lull was brief when Dr. Grant and Phyllis reentered the room. We both looked at them with weary eyes.

“Angelina, we’re going to hook you up to a fetal monitor now, since we won’t be able to observe your contractions externally. Dr. Grant is going to do a quick exam and see how you are progressing,” Phyllis explained.

Rob helped me back into bed and into position for the exam. I knew this had to be awkward for him, but he was doing great so far.

“You’re up to about five and half. We will let you get some rest and come back in a couple hours, okay?” Dr. Grant snapped off the exam gloves.

Rob was eyeing everything the nurse did as she strapped the contraption to my stomach. “So what does this do?”

“This monitors baby’s heartbeat. We can tell when a contraction is happening by the fluctuation of the heartbeat and measure the baby’s response to the contraction. The heart rate will range from 100 to 160 beats per minute,” Phyllis explained to your husband.

“Wow, that’s fast!” Rob looked over at the machine you were hooked up to as it started printing out the baby’s heart beats.

“Is this your first baby, Mr. Benedict?” She asked him, studying the results.

“No, third, but it’s been a while,” he reached for my hand and squeezed it tight.

“Well Mom, Dad, I suggest you get some rest while you can. I’ll be back in a couple hours to check your progress,” she excused herself from the room, dimming the lights on her way out.

Rob pulled the recliner chair closer to the bed where I drifted off, my hand in his until the nurse woke me up two hours later to check my progress. I was disappointed that I wasn’t dilating faster, the nurse informing me I had only progressed to six from five and half in the last three hours and my contractions were still at more than seven minutes apart.

“Oh…” Phyllis gasped.

“Phyllis? What’s wrong?” I turned to her, a furrow in my brow.

“Is the baby okay?” Rob was now fully awake.

“I’ll be back,” she stated, then rushed from the room.

Within minutes, Dr. Grant and three nurses were in the room.

“Angelina, I need you to roll to your side for me, okay?” Phyllis asked, helping me roll.

“What’s going on?” I looked her straight in the eye.

“Baby’s heart rate is dropping during contractions. We want to move you to see if they go back up,” she explained, further examining the paper printout for the last hour.

“What’s the current rate?” Dr. Grant asked her.

“Ninety.”

“Okay, one more flip,” Dr. Grant instructed and the other two nurses helped me up onto my knees.

Rob looked helpless standing there, hands in his pockets, not knowing what to do. He met my eyes, and shuffled closer to the head of the bed to be nearer to me.

“Rate?” Dr. Grant ordered.

“Ninety-three,” she responded.

“Angie, Rob, I’m not comfortable with the your baby’s heart rate during contractions, not with as slow as labor is progressing for you. It’s dipping into the low nineties and recovering nicely, but I would feel better if we took the baby now via cesarean. The choice is yours, but that is my recommendation.” Dr. Grant looked between the two of us.

“Guess we should have just scheduled it to begin with,” I smiled, reaching for Rob’s hand. “Let’s go have a baby.”

Rob smiled and leaned down to kiss me. The nurses made quick work of unhooking everything from the wall and soon my bed was being wheeled down the bright corridor and into an operating room. I heard Phyllis stop Rob at the door, telling him to go change and then he could enter the surgical room.

I was feeling nothing as I was moved from the bed to the table and within minutes, I was on oxygen and they added more meds to provide a solid spinal block.

“Hey, pretty girl,” Rob appeared at my side.

“Hey,” I breathed out, relieved to see him. “You ready for this?”

“Am I ready? I have been ready since you told me you were pregnant. I can’t wait to meet our baby,” Rob whispered, placing a gentle kiss to my forehead.

“Give us about three minutes, then you can meet your little bundle,” Phyllis passed by with a wink, then disappeared behind the curtain separating us from the lower half of my body.

Keeping my eyes locked on his, we each silently counted the seconds. This was it. We were finally going to meet our miracle baby.

“Dad, do you want to see this?” Dr. Grant called over the curtain, and Rob stepped away from me.

Rob wasn’t gone very long and when he returned, he pulled the oxygen mask off my face and kissed me with everything he had. “It’s a girl. We have a baby girl.” His tears mixed with mine when he kissed me a second time.

~*~

I woke to the most beautiful sight in the world the next morning. Rob was sitting in the rocking chair next to my bed, our baby girl swaddled and safe in his arms. He was singing softly, completely in awe of her, her big blue eyes staring up at him, mesmerized. I quietly picked up my phone off the bedside table and started recording their first morning as father and daughter.

Give me more lovin' than I've ever had.

Make it all better when I'm feelin' sad.

Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not.

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad.

Barely gettin' mad,

I'm so glad I found you.

I love being around you.

You make it easy,

It's easy as one, two, one, two, three, four.

There's only one thing, two do, three words four you.

I love you.

(I love you)

There's only one way, two say, those three words

And that's what I'll do.

I love you.

“That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen,” I whispered, not wanting to wake her for somewhere in the middle of his serenade, she fell asleep.

“I love you,” Rob replied, the smile never leaving his face.

“I’ve never heard you sing that song before,” I commented.

“I, ah, I just wrote it,” he smiled. “I remember walking in on you in the kitchen a few weeks back. You were wearing one of my dress shirts, and your belly carrying our miracle baby was bare, the shirt hanging off to the side, You just looked so beautiful and I thought to myself, when I can think straight, I am going to write a song about this, but with work and travelling, I never got the chance. It just popped into my head as I was holding her.”

“It’s perfect. I love it and I love you,” I reached for his hand.

I managed to get in a shower with the help of one of the day nurses and was settled back into bed by the time our visitors arrived. My parents, Olivia and Rob’s brother Matt piled into our small room to meet the newest member of our family.

“We would like you all to meet Delilah Rose Benedict,” Rob handed her off gingerly to her big sister who couldn’t stop smiling as she held the new baby.

“Welcome to the family, Delilah Rose,” Olivia whispered, kissing the tiny pink bundle in her arms.

The Whole Enchilada: @closetspngirl @emoryhemsworth @iwantthedean @meganwinchester1999 @sis-tafics @wilde-abandon @wegoddessofhell @holyfuckloueh @horsegirly99blog @smoothdogsgirl @dolphincliffs @thisismysecrethappyplace @neeadinghugs @roxyspearing @theoriginalvicki @andkatiethings @mrswhozeewhatsis @linki-locks11 @evansrogerskitten @hennessy0274-blog @hobby27 @gh0stgurl @charliebradbury1104 @blacktithe7 @the--blackdahlia @fortisetgloriosusinarduis @roseblue373 @hannahindie @pinknerdpanda @paintrider13-blog @cherrycokegirls1

Rob Worshipers: @shanghai88 @natasha-cole

#spngenrebingo #rob benedict #rob benedict fanfiction #rob x angelina #robelina #supernatural fanfiction #rob benedict rpf #supernatural rpf #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #self indulgence

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cartoonfangirl1218 · 5 years

Text

Love Potion Extravaganza Ch. 9

Note: Songs used are “Let’s Agree to Disagree” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9B9rjRzlWtU, “Nothing is ever anyone’s fault” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sqJ6YWbBGVk, “World’s best kiss reprise” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3GyqAiPQkKo.

Epilogue Part 1

“Ay, more Victor! Yes yes yes!”

“Ay yi yi!” Carla silently banged her head against the door of her house.

This was the perfect end to one of the worst days ever.

She had arrived back at her house and had to explain her failure and how she also fell under the love potion’s influence as well. To say her mom was furious was an understatement.

As she snappily prepared the antidote to the love potion, Ash kept up a running commentary of how mad she was that the plan failed, “I can’t believe you, Carla. I thought I taught you better than this. You had one thing to do. Just one. And you were so foolish and reckless to actually drink the damn potion! Maybe I shouldn’t even give you this. Maybe you should just stay with your heartbroken emotions and learn that you should never ever divert from the plan!”

There wasn’t much she could do. She just patiently nodded her head during her mother’s rant while Victor rolled his eyes at Ash’s theatrics. Under his breath he muttered, “I told you we should have just used force. Subtle plans are too complicated. They have too many holes in them that can ruin it all.”

With Victor’s comment, Ash turned her wrath toward him and forgot all about her threat to not give Carla the antidote.

“Excuse me! At least my plan could have actually worked! How do you propose we sneak past the Avaloran army?”

“Invisibility-” Victor started to say but Ash cut him off, “Invisibility could work on mere guards, but what about their royal wizard? If he is any good, he would be able to sense us. And from what Carla has told me, he had turned Fiero to stone twice. Fiero is one of the greatest malvagos of our time. If he failed, do you really think you have a shot?”

“And you’re saying you do!” Victor shot back.

“Yes! I am!” Her mom moved away from the pot she was stirring to go nose to nose with her dad when it started bubbling over. “Carla, drink it. Now listen here señor, if you think-”

Carla ignored their arguing as she eagerly drank the antidote, ready to finally be rid of the painful stab in her heart whenever she thought of Gabe or the giddy feeling she had when she imagined Gabe and her together.

The potion tasted sweet at first like honey had filled her mouth then it took on a sour, bitter flavor.

Carla gagged and was about to swallow it down when the events of the day came rushing back with way too vivid clarity.

Her seduction of Gabe. She pictured herself writhing on his lap, looking incredibly immature as if she was a child pretending to be an adult, which she sorta was. How he feigned boredness as she threw herself on him, how he glared at her the whole time. She looked so stupid and she had thought she had looked incredibly sexy and that he had been mildly intrigued.

Yet her heart tugged still and her stomach was rolling over. Carla didn’t move, hand over her heart, the blush took a deep red color. She felt so embarrassed that he had seen act that way. But she shouldn’t care what he thought. He was the enemy, she wasn’t under the love potion anymore. But the blush spreading across her cheeks said differently.

Oh no... could she still be?

The irate thud of her mom frustratedly slamming her tamborita against the table, jolted Carla out of her thoughts as much as hearing her mom unexpectedly sing, “My way's clearly better.”

Victor scoffed, “Boringer and deader.”

The two malvagos glared at each nose to nose, “Let's agree to disagree!

Just one of us can lead. . .”

“And that's means me!” Ash interrupted, stomping on Victor’s foot as she stalked back to her cauldron.

“Hell no!” Victor poked a finger in her chest, throwing back his cape in a clear attempt to intimidate which his wife only rolled her eyes.

Ash sneered, wordlessly summoning her tamborita back into her hand, “You want to piece of this?”

Victor readied his own tamborita, “All right, then,”

They both went into defensive stances, “Fine. Let's go!”

“Guys!” Carla shouted, getting in between them before any disastrous battle of spells and wills could take place. Feeling the fierce glares directed at her, Carla nervously laughed, “We shouldn’t fight or make any new plan to take over Avalor on empty stomachs.”

Her parents lowered their arms, still glowering at each other but conceded her point much to Carla’s relief.

“Here’s the dinner I worked on.” Victor growled, grumpily taking a seat at their small table while his wife gave him a withering glare from next to him. Under her breath, Ash muttered, “Cooking is the only work you do, you lazy, incompetent fool.”

“I’m incompetent? Who was the one caring for our daughter while you were gallivanting around-”

Carla tried not to pay attention to her parents bickering and instead retreated into her small kiss fantasy with the captain of the guard. Imagining it still gave her melty, weak-kneed feelings which worried her. She didn’t want to eat dinner at that moment, she wanted time for herself to concentrate and she couldn’t do that with her parents fighting.

So to keep her parents distracted she put some of the leftover love potion in their drinks. She would give them the antidote later, she just needed time in peace, alone, without lectures or fights.

If Carla hadn’t been so caught up in the revelation that she still had feelings for Gabe, she would have been amused by how the potion took effect.

Her mother, who never used such flirty tactics out of a manipulative context, fluttered her eyelashes at her dad who looked quite taken with gazing intensely into her eyes.

He softly brushed a piece of stray hair behind her ear which her mother took the chance to move onto his lap and nuzzle into him.

Carla was about to go out to think alone and leave them to themselves when Victor dreamily said, without looking away from his wife, “Carla, have I’ve ever told you how we fell in love?”

“Yes,” Carla answered shortly going to the doorway, “Plenty of times.” “I’m going to tell you again.” Victor insisted.

“No, that’s fine..” Carla shook her head.

“Sweetie, you should listen.” which got a double-take from Carla. Her mother never used affectionate names like “sweetie.”

“But I want to-”

“Sit.” Victor commanded and Carla sat with a feeling of impending dread.

She did not want to see her parents as lovey as Princess Elena and Mateo were around the fountain. Nor did she have any particular urge to see them lusting for one another. It was enough that she could hear the implications through the thin walls.

She wished they weren’t in Avalor anymore, they never randomly burst into song when they had been on the run in other countries.

Her dad began to sing, “Before I knew you

I did bad things and didn't know why

But now, I know you

And I've learned to look inside

I understand what makes me

Frightened and sad

So, yes, I still do bad things

But are they actually bad?

No!”

“Oh wow.” Carla stared slack-jawed at the smooth, tenor that came out of her father’s mouth. That combined with how he was spinning his wife in his arms around the room made a picture she never thought she would see.

“Because nothing is ever anyone's fault

We're all just products of childhood trauma.

Nothing is ever anyone's fault

Pain causes anger and fear causes drama!

We can't control

The things we do.

Just like I can't control

That I'm in love with you.”

He ended with a deep kiss that was starting to become so prolonged that Carla felt uncomfortable. She was about to make her getaway when her mom broke apart from him.

Ash sighed, touching her forehead against Victor’s, “Wow, the first part was kind of amoral, but the last thing was really sweet.”

Carla swallowed back her gag reflex. This was weird to watch on soooo many levels.

The song went on into the rants that Carla had heard ever since she was 5. Singing against their parents, against Shuriki, against enemies. All things she heard before but never in song form which sort of made it interesting, but not enough that she wanted to see where it was heading.

She wanted to solely think about Gabe and how he...

“See? Psychology is a great excuse!” Victor belted loudly, “Nothing is ever anyone's fault!

Ash joined in with her lilting soprano, and soon the two were singing in perfect harmony, “It's hard to paint people with evil or glory

When you know that everyone's

Got a tragic backstory!

Free will's an illusion

Morality is, too.

So, it's not my fault that

My parents messed me up!

'Cause their parents messed them up.

And our ancestors were messed up by the ancient Maruvians,

Who was messed up originally by the Great Darkness!

Everything is the Great Darkness’s fault!”

“Energy in space was the ultimate bad father!” Her mom sang out grasping her dad’s shirt as if she were a drowning victim.

“Nothing is nobody's fault!

Nothing is nobody's...Is that a double negative?” Her mother, ever the detailed-oriented one, pointed out.

Her dad shrugged, “Eh, it sounds good, why bother?

But I'm glad for the trauma,”

Her mom wrapped her arms around him, “I'm glad for it, too.

‘Cause my past is what led me

To fall in love with you..” Victor dipped his wife down to the floor and kissed her. He promptly lost his balance and they both fell to the floor. Though instead of getting up, they continued their amorous kisses.

“That’s my cue to leave.” Carla muttered to herself as she raced outside to sit in the small clearing in front of their house. She leaned against the large rowan tree and turned over her feelings.

She wasn’t sure if she was experiencing a genuine crush or just lusting after that brave, passionate Captain of the Guard. On one hand, she had no admiration for his personality beyond imagining how his intense motivation and passion could be used beneath the sheets. Yet on the other hand, the image of sad Gabe haunted her. She felt bad for him, she wanted to bring back a smile to his face. That was certainly more than a lusting emotion.

Carla sighed, feeling like she could sigh for hours, but it wouldn’t be enough to rid of the tiredness of her emotional turmoil. She hadn’t reached any conclusion to her feelings and what she should do with them. Probably ignore them. They would go away in time. But for now...she was stuck.

Slowly, she trudged back to her house. Thinking of Gabe, thinking of her stupid seduction plan that had started all this and that one moment where their tongues tangled together. The only time she ever felt so intimate to someone.

Then she remembered Alonso.

That kiss with Gabe was the only time she felt so intimate with someone and enjoyed it.

“We had a single kiss

No need to reminisce

And now it's gone, fading away.

Over and yet...

It’s not the world’s best kiss

Still, it was one I'll miss.

And it's the only one we'll get.”

Now here she was, hearing the breathless sighs and grunts from the other side where even her parents got to reap in the satisfaction of the love potion. What a perfect end to the worst day. Carla slumped against the wall, putting her head between her legs hoping to block out the disgusting sounds.

One of the most fearsome and wanted malvagos in the Ever Realm and she was reduced to this? How pathetic.

At that self-loathing thought, Carla’s head slowly rose from her fetal position. She was one of the most fearsome malvagos in the kingdom. She should be going after what she wanted, she shouldn’t be accepting defeat like this.

So the antidote didn’t work and her feelings weren’t going away. Well she was going to have to make the feelings go away herself.

Carla stood up and walked away from the disturbing sounds coming from the house. She didn’t know where exactly she was going to until she realized her feet were leading her back on the road to Avalor City.

She felt her face flush on command at the thought of Gabe standing near the gates to the city. Looking all stern and handsome as he scanned the area for wrongdoers.

She knew that it would be dangerous for her to go back. After what she pulled, everyone would be too willing to drag her off to jail by any means necessary. Especially Gabe.

But her heart clenched and she felt compelled to see him again. Just one more time. She needed closure from this silly love thing.

Just one tiny look wouldn’t hurt.

And with that thought, Carla continued forward.

#elena of avalor #carla delgado #ash delgado #victor delgado #the delgados #implied #gabela #love potion extravaganza #chapter nine #my fanfic #my fanfiction

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