#i know later ill check this post and there will be 0 notes
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so LOL my new job completely fucked me over and scammed me by telling me i'd work 20 hours a week immediately, then saying they won't have proper availability for a few more weeks, now saying they can barely give me hours at all, IF ANY, for the foreseeable future.
well my life goes on and continues to include expenses even as i try to apply for new jobs
in the meantime well my poetry books are still for sale!
you can get them for as little as 1 dollar or customize the amount to anything! PLEASE THEYRE NOT BAD- (INSERT REVIEWS HERE) the site is perfectly safe to buy from and v easy!
#whatever. uses the last 30 dollars on my credit card#i know later ill check this post and there will be 0 notes#which is fine#i just dont know what else to do?#i applied to my local library yesterday and tried soooo hard on my app and cover letter#so im begging pleading ill get it#but i know its kind of compteitive so :(#then theres just fucking nowhere left thats hiring except like fast food#which is a bummer cause i said id never work in fast food again after i did in high school#but like hello? hello girl? girl help?#all my cards are maxed because ive had no money to pay them off#needless to say nothing in my fucking account#im in debt to all my friends#i got a few jobs art modeling this month#but its only like 150$ total#which like. i need 800+ a month . so#epic my dude#.txt
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Buckle in kids, the Barnaby Brooks, Jr. Defense Squad is holding a meeting.
So I gave up on the argument with my BIL. Below is, essentially, the essay I wrote trying to explain why his particular opinion of Barnaby sucks. I decided not to send it because I realized that frankly, even if I'm right, it's not going to change his view, so it wasn't worth my time. Instead I figured I'd send it out into the void that is Tumblr to hopefully get some good faith interaction.
-My BIL's best friend watched the show specifically to understand our argument and said Barnaby "had no signs of mental illness, maybe just some trauma."
Bullshit.
Bro has at least an anxiety disorder and, given that I have one and that man is showing every single fucking trait I did before being diagnosed, I will die on that hill (I did also check the DSM for non-anecdotal evidence related to my specific disorder, and I'm pretty sure he meets the GAD criteria). Regardless, PTSD is, in fact, classed as a mental illness (specifically subclassified as a form of anxiety), and you can't watch the show and tell me he doesn't have PTSD.
-BIL's BF also said that Barnaby has a shitty, unlikeable personality with very little to redeem him through the end of Season 1.
Bullshit again.
There's literally a slow progression of him getting steadily better (both mentally and as a person) throughout all of season 1 and into season 2. I don't have time for a full watch through to rip small details, but you can literally watch Barnaby change in real fucking time. He's not the same person at the end of season 1 that he was at the beginning. Maybe its the hyperfixation talking, but I genuinely don't understand how you can watch the show and not catch the little, incremental ways he changes throughout season 1. And on that note--
-You don't have to like Barnaby's bitchy, shitty behavior in early Season 1. You literally aren't meant to. It is bitchy, shitty behavior, and it's stemming from unrecognized and/or unmanaged mental illness of some kind (even if it's only PTSD) in combination with Maverick's upbringing. It's an explanation, not an excuse, and it's realistic as shit. His support network is literally Maverick and Samantha. I'm not even gonna get into how much fuckery the Maverick component added to Barnaby's mental health, social skills, and general world view, cause I really should not have to. As for Samantha, I always got the vibe that they loved each other, but they rarely communicated, so he doesn't have much going for him there.
Why is this relevant?
Because Barnaby doesn't know how the fuck to deal with Kotetsu's shenanigans or his own issues, so he lashes out. Once he actually has and accepts a support network (Kotetsu), he starts to improve as a character. Wanna know why I clocked that? Cause I did The Exact Same Fucking Thing. I had 0 friends in high school because I was a constantly on edge due to unrecognized anxiety and PTSD (obviously at the time I had no idea why I was so angry all the time), which made me a reactive, short tempered bitch. I got better in college, and that was because I was in a different setting and around new people, which provided me the exposure I needed to realize "something might not be right here." The little support network I formed at college helped me learn how to manage, how to interact with people, and how to manage my reactiveness simply through exposure (i.e. I figured it out as we went and apologized when I fucked up, they were not expected to take any sort of responsibility). Recognition of my issues later led to going to therapy and getting a diagnosis. We are literally watching this happen with Barnaby. Season 1 is the first time in Barnaby's life that he has a significant influence outside of Maverick. We are literally watching that exact same growth over the course of the show.
-And that brings us to Barnaby's motivation, which I have another post on, so you can totes skip this paragraph if you want. Once he gets past the revenge arc Barnaby is literally just trying to do what makes him mentally okay. That's literally it. That's what everything he does from then on boils down to. Granted, it's not as obvious early on, but it's heavily implied at the end of season 1, it literally feeds the plot of The Rising, and he outright says that's what he's doing in season 2, and it's backed by his actions throughout. He's still helping people while doing it, so it's not like it's to other people's detriment, but he's prioritizing what he needs and what could make him happy. You gotta put on your oxygen mask before you can help others, and that's a hard but important lesson to learn when you're mentally ill. Prime example is that I had to end a friendship last week because her mental health issues were worsening mine, and she would not accept any form of boundaries. I wanted to be able to continue to support her, but you can't save someone if you're drowning. Additionally, I think it's hard for people to get what it's like for your only goal to be to feel okay without the context of being mentally ill for Literally as long as you've had memories (and I'm not even exaggerating there, pls don't ask about my childhood fear of toothpaste). Seeing that shit reflected on screen is Refreshing As Hell. Barnaby's not in it purely ~to help others~, or to avenge his parents, or for the sake of justice, or anything like that. Barnaby is Literally just a guy trying to find something that makes him happy, and is clinging tooth and nail to keep whatever he finds (namely, his partnership with Kotetsu).
-Basically, my view boils down to this: You don't have to like Barnaby as a character. You don't have to like his coping skills, or lack thereof. But Barnaby is a fantastic representation of what its like for some (key word SOME, I'm not gonna claim my experience to be universal) people dealing with long-term unrecognized mental illness. You can hate him, but when the show outright gives you all this context showing you Exactly why he acts the way he does, and then shows you how he makes an effort to change, you should at least consider it before just saying "he's an asshole and that's that." Also, recognize that if you can't see the representation he provides, He's Probably Not For Your Benefit (why yes, this IS another "importance of representation" post). It's so rare to get realistic portrayals of mental health in the media, and even less so with genuinely Good characters, so frankly, it enrages me when people just disregard the Mountain of context provided in favor of saying "oh, he's just an asshole" (looking at you, CA: Civil War era Tony Stark hate).
#barnaby brooks jr#kotetsu t. kaburagi#taibani#tiger and bunny#tiger and bunny 2#mental health#Barnaby defense Squad#tony stark defense squad#mental illness#mental illness representation
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(Hello note from me, Azzy. I made this account on June 1st of this year because I felt like making a new one XD so. All 35 565 posts that are mostly reblogs? They're from the past 6 months, not a year XDDD)
I posted 35,565 times in 2022
That's 35,565 more posts than 2021!
92 posts created (0%)
35,473 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@lastoneout
@moonflowero1
@pomodoko
@imfluentinfangirlandgay
@levincias
I tagged 2,745 of my posts in 2022
#keeping for later - 246 posts
#pla - 190 posts
#azzy grows - 97 posts
#posts that made me audibly laugh - 92 posts
#posts i must always reblog - 69 posts
#pkmn - 55 posts
#eyestrain - 40 posts
#unreality - 40 posts
#questionable breaking bad knowledge - 30 posts
#dc resources - 28 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#i love being mentally ill its so fun to be screaming and cryong and having a panic attack which makes u whip ur phone at the nearest noises
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
How does one express non-romantic attraction??
Like I'm making a list of hot pkmn trainers but I'm not attracted to them in the crush/romantic/sexual sense. I think it's like... Aesthetic attraction? But I don't know how to express it :(
I'm just like "awooga hot person they r so sexy mwah mwah" but I'm not attracted to them in a crush/rom/sx kinda way!!! And obviously people misinterpret what I mean because of the language I'm using :(
How the heck do ppl verbalize those kinds of feelings properly ( TTⁿTT ) /genq
45 notes - Posted July 6, 2022
#4
Hey yalls, guess who wrote a Danny Phantom one-shot (4k words) that I'm extremely proud of!!! Even if ya ain't into DP, I'd appreciate if you read it & dropped a kudos and commented, because I'm honestly in love with this so much!!!!
Focuses on a confrontation between Danny and Wesley Weston involving Danny's secret identity woooo~
Warning for; panic attacks, descriptions of inhuman appearances (Eldritch!Danny my beloved), & mentions of death!
It's the longest fic I've written to date (I thought a multichapter WIP I wrote in 2018 was longer. I was wrong. That was only 3.5k), and I'm thrilled at the outcome!!
I'm the kind of person who enjoys their own writing (and forgets what I've written after a few days), so when I read it over pre-posting, I was smiling and giggling the whole time. I even screamed from excitement at it (I was on call, and my friends gotta hear me freaking out as I read my own writing XD)!
So, yeah. I really hope you enjoy, because I sure as hell did!
51 notes - Posted September 15, 2022
#3
I just discovered «Ridgeside Village» (a Stardew Valley mod) and oh my gods it looks so good!!! The mod adds so much to explore, both new areas and new villagers!!!
Plus, it's compatible with Stardew Valley Expanded (Expanded edits the existing valley for the most part, while Ridgeside Village adds a whole new map outside of Pelican Town)!!!
(If y'all like SDV Expanded, or mods that do similar things, please check out Ridgeside Village if you haven't already!!!)
52 notes - Posted August 10, 2022
#2
It's kinda sad to know a good handful of people who've played Stardew Valley haven't played (or heard of) Harvest Moon. Maybe it's just a generational thing, but whenever I've gotten my friends into SDV, I always ask if they know Harvest Moon first. Literally always no.
ANYWAYS if you like Stardew Valley, please check out the Story Of Seasons line (the new name for Harvest Moon games), the Harvest Moon games before DS, or Harvest Moon A New Beginning (3DS)
OR if you like the fighting in SDV as well as the farming bits, I've heard the Rune Factory series is pretty good :D
103 notes - Posted June 24, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Sometimes I wish I could love in the way others could.
To look at someone and just know. To feel the warmth and joy, and desire to be with someone forever.
But my feeling of love comes in different forms.
Sitting outside and playing my ukulele, while the squirrels and chipmunks watch, and the birds chirp along.
The tickle of eyelashes blinking against cheeks, and the fuzzy giggles that brew inside.
Telling someone a secret which you're sure they would never speak to you again over, only for them to tell you it's okay, and that they still care about you.
A stray (or just sassy) cat letting you pet them, no matter how brief the moment may be.
Walking around a night-fallen city with your friend, illuminated by the neon signs, and high on life.
Doodling something that turns out even a little better than you were expecting, brightening up the rest of your day.
Reading a story that overwhelms you with so many feelings that you have to scream, because the world deserves to know how you feel.
Maybe I can't feel love in the way others might. I think that's alright, though, because I notice all the other ways I feel love. And I think I love that even more.
633 notes - Posted July 30, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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I posted 8,564 times in 2022
11 posts created (0%)
8,553 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@marveladdicts
@theavengers
@pocketwatchofmycroft
@womenofmcu
@mcu
I tagged 753 of my posts in 2022
#moon knight spoilers - 159 posts
#multiverse of madness spoilers - 141 posts
#she hulk spoilers - 95 posts
#thor spoilers - 91 posts
#ms marvel spoilers - 57 posts
#no way home spoilers - 48 posts
#flashing gif tw - 33 posts
#tw flashing gif - 21 posts
#hawkeye spoilers - 19 posts
#eternals spoilers - 17 posts
Longest Tag: 90 characters
#because living with a chronically ill person means there has to be pain killers everywhere
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Got my character profile up for Christine Palmer!
2 notes - Posted May 3, 2022
#4
Wrote up a character profile for Marc Spector, for anyone who wants to find out more about him after episode 2!
2 notes - Posted April 6, 2022
#3
MOON KNIGHT EPISODE 5 SPOILERS AHEAD
I've made a new blog post all about the latest episode of Moon Knight ‘Asylum’ and the comic it was based on! Check it out, and the rest of my Moon Knight content, on The Comic Book Sanctum!
3 notes - Posted April 27, 2022
#2
America Chavez is about to make her MCU debut in Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness!
Get to know her better with this character profile!
4 notes - Posted May 3, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Interested in the Sandman, but want to know more before you watch it?
I've done a quick guide for you to watch - including information on the plot and the main casting!
Check it out and then go watch the show - I assure you, it's AMAZING!
4 notes - Posted August 5, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#fucking hell i need to get a life with all those reblogs#and post my actual blog posts here
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what do you think of reblogging versus just liking a post, does it matter? personally i find it annoying how much people talk about it. i don't think it's that much of a problem and ive been here a few years now
On the one hand as someone who writes and draws and then posts that stuff I do fully get it, it sucks to post something you worked on and get 1 reblog and 4 likes on it. especially when its like "oh the last silly thing i posted got 60 reblogs and 100 likes what happened?" is it time of day, did my quality of work go down, was it not funny enough, was it too personal, did i draw it poorly, etc etc. going back thru my last handful of art posts, it's like how do I figure out what gets people to see this let alone reblog it to show other people? and no matter how much you Know that notes and numbers don't add up to any greater meaning about the worth of what you do, it's also like "huh! i spent a lot of time and put heart into this and it got 0 notes… and then this doodle got 600+" it's like #THINK. as an aside, I KNOW for me it's partially because some of my fandoms are big right now and have a ton of people, (DE) and/or are universally well known and carry nostalgia weight to boot (portal) and others are very small and maybe the 12 people who reblogged that piece ARE the fandom (metro) so part of it FOR ME is metering my expectations for "the numbers" based on "how many people who DO see this will even know what it is?"
anyway so on one hand. i do understand it, and i do agree that reblogging is the lifeblood of this site and without it we're all just going to sit in silence and like posts from "funnytwittertweets" (which as another aside, i have blocked, and yet i constantly see their posts recommended to me, i can click to their blog and view it without issue, and even reblog their posts so what IS the truth on that tumblr? can we start a conspiracy theory about content farm bloggers?) yeah i DO think it's better to reblog things than to sit silently and stoically tapping the like button, and it is Frustrating to figure out sometimes Why some things can take off and get reblogged and others can't. for me.
ON THE OTHER HANDS! i also like things all the time that I may or may NOT reblog later, I use my likes as a reference for things. videos and audio posts i can't listen to or watch right now because I'm at work or otherwise in public and don't want to play sound. art that i want a closer look at first, things i want to reference or fact check first, or even just "huh im scrolling without glasses and cant really see it but i'll check this out tomorrow morning." OR most often, i'm on OP's blog and it's such a pain to reblog From their url.tumblr.com/post/12343245234523 page repeatedly, i'm just liking the posts so that i can go straight into likes later and reblog them easily from there. i have followers that do something similar (they'll like my post and then 2 weeks later it's on their blog because they queued it, I also used to use a queue and would queue things strictly from like likes because It's Easier on desktop.)
numbers also mean nothing and notes aren't real, and as a personal thing, i find "likes < reblogs and follows!" "do not like unless you also reblog!" banners and stuff to be like. annoyingly passive aggressive and i won't interact with art and stuff if that's on there -_- like cousin if i want to reblog it i'll do it, and it makes me feel like, obnoxiously guilty if i want to reblog but can't in that moment (due to can't see it/ need more time to look it over / prefer to reblog from my likes page) so i simply choose to Not engage. it's the mental illness sire.
um overall i think reblogging is better and it's important. i don't want tumblr to turn into 99 corporate accounts that post stolen content and we all hold up a thumbs up in silence. that would suck and can we talk about why tumblr still shows me stolentwittertweets posts on my "for you" page? can we talk about that now?
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How to create sourcemod plugins
How to create sourcemod plugins install#
How to create sourcemod plugins update#
How to create sourcemod plugins update#
If the SuperVersus 5+ Spectate bug gets fixed ill download the new plugin to update this pack and make it the next version. (to avoid abuse from ppl doing a rejoin for a respawn) * You can try having the 5+ joining players use the !survivor command in their chat, theres a " Locked in Spectate mode and no survivor to play as " bug in the SuperVersus plugin for SM that makes 8 players work, which makes them join the Survivor Team and should spawn their extra Survivor to play as but they are dead till the next saferoom. → Click Here for the Default Superversus pack. *Superversus is broken from running on Linux OS PCs, so only get these packs for something using Windows* (again, like our DG | Coop #1 and #3 servers do, and also some other communities have 8 player Coop and 16 player Versus servers, although its a pain to find them cuz not a lot of ppl use the Steam Page here since posts only last a few days there before being so far back nobody see's) (or uninstalling L4D2 and reinstalling through Steam, but that takes way longer than finding and deleting a couple folders)Īlso try to make sure your using an Ethernet Cord if you plan to try and use Local Host to play online with friends, normally Wi-Fi doesnt matter with a Dedicated Server but your friends will notice the difference in local when joining you, but Local Host always has rough ping if the players joining arent really close to the host, it was probably intended as more of a LAN option, so if it doesnt work for you then you will have to find a Steam Group Server to use that allows 8 players. (i have no idea why Valve thought that would be a good system for the game lol, and it might be bugged / broken now since Steam recently updated the different privacy settings for our Profiles)īeware if you want to uninstall it later you will need to know a little bit about file tree structure / folder directories, and what folders to delete, although it only takes deleting 2 or 3 folders so its not bad, just check the Installation info and ReadMe files in the 1st folder after unzipping. If your Steam Group Servers List says 0 servers in L4D2, then you actually have to join a steam group before any of their servers will show up in-game, there are a bunch of Public steam group servers, like ours are, in the list that should always show up even if you didnt join the servers Steam Group, but if your Steam Profile settings is set to Friends-Only or Private viewability, it makes it so even public servers dont show up in your Group Servers List.
How to create sourcemod plugins install#
Like our DG | coop #1 or #3 Custom servers do, and in that way you can play 8 player coop online with your friends but dont have to install anything into your own game files, or struggle with the Local Host instability if yours does not want to work great. (Just dont let everyone in the lobby vote to start, otherwise it will choose a random server at the end of the countdown, and the random one it finds may not support / have 8 player coop setup) You can just start a regular L4D2 lobby, and make sure the Server Type setting of the lobby is set to Steam Group Server instead of Official Dedicated, then when the Lobby Leader player starts the match it will allow him/her to pick a server from their own Steam Group Servers List, and then just make sure they pick a server that allows 8 player coop. over time, see the ReadMe file for the usable chat commands) (like the stat tracker plugin, which keeps track of all players kills etc. NOTE: You Do Not "need" these packs / SourceMod and the different plugins, to be able to play 8 player Coop campaigns in L4D2 online with friends, this is only if you want your own games Single Player and Local Host options to run with 8 players, and all the new settings / features that are achieved with these SourceMod plugins. ( Superversus, L4DToolz, Dhooks v2.2, and some others, see the credits section of the ReadMe) Just in case anyone wanted it, i have made a folder directory with sourcemod, metamod, and some plugins that are useful for players to install into their own L4D2 game, and also that allow 8 players in Single Player or the Local Host modes. ***Broken again on Linux by L4D2 update so ill repack it if the plugins get updated to fix how they work / run on Linux OS machines, and then ill change the version to v1.2 - 7/5/21*** UPDATED FOR THE LAST STAND UPDATE (Windows 7 - 10)
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so i’ve been on twitter more recently but honestly it does nothing for helping me recognize if i am improving my art because with the last few art posts i’ve made, the only reason it hasn’t “flopped” (so, below even 100 likes) is when a large artist(s) replies + retweets it.
i think when i was using my tumblr and even last year on twitter, at least some would go a little more popular if i could tell it was good/better (or maybe it was because a larger follower engaged with it—and i just didn’t notice back then?)
either way, i’m not sure how i feel about this anymore. it makes me feel like i have no more art worth and i just got to bank that my mutuals who have larger followings notice me and honestly it makes this whole drawing fanart thing a little less fun.
on the other hand, this has helped IMMENSELY with helping me separate numbers from my own self-worth, whereas in the past, i really struggled with that. because now i know if my art doesn’t get likes, it’s probably because a popular accnt hasn’t engaged with it yet, and it doesn’t make me as unhappy as it used to. but now it does make me a little like — hey oomf.... you wanna..... you wanna perhaps retweet that?
#shut up sabrina#i mean it's not like i ever got a lot of engagement on tumblr#i didn't have notifications on (and they're wayy less oppressive than they are on twitter)#so to help with my mental state i would never check the notes and a couple days later i came back expecting 0 and was pleasantly surprised#to see something more than that#but now with twitter it's so weird because ill just post depending on when i know my mutuals are online#it's a little odd#im not sure how i feel about it
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Kyidyl Explains Bones - Part 6
(All of these are under the KyidylBones tag.)
Age Determination
Well, age at death anyway. I’m gonna put this warning up front:
Today’s post will contain pictures of the skeletons of children. This is something that a lot of people, even those who think they won’t be bothered, find upsetting. This goes double if you actually have children. This post will also include frank discussion of child death.
You have been warned.
So what is age determination? Age determination isn’t the process of figuring out how old a set of remains is, it’s the process of figuring out how old the individual was when they died. Because of the sensitive nature of the topic, I’m putting everything behind a cut today.
Ethics: Beyond the normal respectful approach, there aren’t separate ethical considerations with dealing with age like there are for sex and race. Just be considerate of the fact that child death is super upsetting to some people. I literally had people in my classes at the masters level who were moved to tears by some of the younger remains, so even when you’re used to looking at things from a clinical perspective, kids can be tough.
General: Age is separated into three general categories: juvenile (0-early 20s), adult, and elderly. Juveniles are from birth until the last known skeletal change takes place. IE, until all your teeth come in and all your bones fuse. These are really good indicators of age, so we use them as much as we can for as long into the lifespan as we can. Adults range from “done growing” to “showing signs of degeneration” EG, arthritis and that kind of thing. Elderly is anything older than that.
Also, this applies to all age categories: size is not an indicator of age. Ever.
Juveniles: We say juveniles instead of children because people in their late teens and early 20s aren’t really children, but they haven’t finished growing yet. So juvenile is a more inclusive term, and the more accurate one. That said, kids are by FAR the easiest to know the age of. Juvenile remains do not look like small adult remains, because juveniles that have skeletons that do not resemble adult skeletons beyond the basic “ah, that’s probably a human”.
There are a few ways that we determine the age of a juvenile, and the first thing we check is the teeth. Before the body, before any other signs. Because the teeth are consistently accurate across race, sex, economic standing, any pathologies, etc. Teeth are formed and come in on a schedule. Here is that schedule:
And here is a link to a high res PDF version that you absolutely should take a look at (Source).
Beyond this, the 3rd molar AKA wisdom teeth come in between ages 17-25. Now, archaeological remains won’t have scars on the bone from the wisdom teeth removal that a lot of people commonly undergo, but in the future that will be visible on the bone. I’ll get into this more when I get around to doing the damage and pathology posts, but healed bone has a different appearance than unbroken bone, so a healed-over tooth socket has a different appearance than bone that never had a tooth there to begin with. In addition, while tooth eruption in a living juvenile is accepted as the time when the tooth breaks through the gums, in the remains of a juvenile we can see un-erupted teeth within the jaw. It looks like this:
(Source)
As an aside: those lines on the teeth are called enamel hypoplasia, and I’ll cover it more in the teeth post, but essentially if you don’t get proper nutrition as a child when your adult teeth are developing in your jaw you get these lines in them.
So anyway, because teeth come in on such a precise schedule, and because teeth survive better than anything else in your body (especially in a child’s body. Childrens’ bones are fragile, partially ossified, and they decay quickly.), they’re very good for estimating age at death. Even more so than bones, because bones can be altered by illness, malnutrition, repetitive activity, or genetic anomalies. Teeth almost never are. Or, rather, their rate of growth isn’t.
Another thing we look for when determining age at death is the fusion of the bones. See, as you’re growing you have more bones. Those get larger until they meet up with the bone they’re part of, and then they start to fuse. These are called epiphysis (growth plates). Very young children don’t even have entirely ossified (bone instead of cartilage) bones, let along epiphysis that touch. Babies don’t show up often in the archaeological record because of this. To better illustrate this, here is an image of an xray of a baby’s hand:
(Source)
You’ll notice that the finger bones (Metacarpals and carpels, known collectively as phalanges.) have small little bones at the ends that aren’t attached - that’s not an anomaly, that’s normal. Those are the physis, which will fuse later in life after they are larger, and the plate between them from which they grow is the epiphysis. You can also see that the wrist bones have barely begun to ossify and don’t show up on the xray, and the physis for the radius and ulna (arm bones) also haven’t begin to ossify and thus don’t show up - that’s why the arm bones look like one bone. They aren’t, they have an epiphysis at either end (Your elbow is a separate bone called the olecranon and it doesn’t fuse until later on.). This happens at a very predictable rate, and so we can tell how old someone is from a combination of their teeth and which bones have and have not ossified and fused. In addition, the bone of the epiphysis has a unique texture that is referred to as “billowy” in the literature (even tho I hate that word). Here’s a picture:
(Source)
The one on the left is what you want to look at, since this is a progression through age. Also I sniped this from a paper on age estimation, so if you’re interested in this take a look at it. It’s on researchgate so it’s not behind a paywall. As an aside: researchgate is amazing and you should all learn to use it.
Anyway, see that bumpy texture on the left? That’s what unfused bone looks like at the growth plate. This actually applies to, as far as I know, all land mammals. So if you find animal bones with this texture at the end of the bone, then that animal was a juvenile when it died. Bones fuse at different times in your life, but we know the times when they fuse. There are 206 bones in the adult body, so that would be a lot for me to try and put in a tumblr post, but if you google a specific bone you should be able to find the ages they fuse. I believe, if memory serves, that the skull sutures are the last to fully fuse, and they in fact continue to become more tightly fused as your life goes on. I’ll cover that in the next section tho. It will hold together as a teenager, but the skull bones take a long time to fuse to each other. Two of the last epiphysis to fuse though are the iliac crest (The curved part of the hip - it’s actually its own separate bone. Like just the small, smooth curved part.) and the sternal end of the clavicle (clavicle = collarbone, and the sternal end is the medial part towards the sternum.). This happens in your early to mid 20s.
So teeth and bone fusion are the two most used methods of age estimation. So if anyone ever shows you a small skeleton with fused bones and calls it a child, roll your eyes at them. It’s not a child.
One last note on juvenile skeletons: until the individual undergoes puberty, sex and race determinations are extremely difficult (teeth can be used for race, but not for sex. Not really, anyway.). So again, anyone who professes to know the sex of a set of pre-pubescent remains without like...a gravestone or something telling them is probably a liar. Right now the methods for doing that are either expensive (genetics) or inaccurate. And doing genetic evaluations on old juvenile remains is difficult, because their bones are more fragile than adult bones and break down easier, which exposes the DNA to easy degradation. It’s not impossible, it’s just usually more difficult and more expensive.
For reference, here is a juvenile skeleton laid out in standard anatomical position. There is more than one individual here, so ignore any of the bones outside the arms and above the head.
(Source)
Adults and the Elderly: After an individual finishes growing, estimating their age becomes increasingly difficult. There’s no such thing as, for example, an average number of tooth cavities. In addition, the natural growth and destruction of your bone cells over your lifetime means that things you do habitually can significantly alter the shape of your bones and the rate at which they break down.
However, there are a few things that can be used. Joints wear down at a fairly consistent rate, and arthritis leaves specific markers on the bones that we can identify as arthritis rather than normal wear and tear. This is most easily views in two places: the public symphasis (the front where your two hip bones meet.) and the acetabulum (The socket that the round end of your thigh bone is in.). The picture I used above is an image of the wear and tear seen on a series of pubic symphysises (symphysii? IDK.). And so these are matched against skeletons whose age at death was known and age ranges for changes to this area were arrived at.
When I was doing my MSc, we did a project where we were assigned a set of remains and had to use everything we’d learned in the course to do a full evaluation of our skeletons. Well, the majority of my skull was missing and so I used the acetabulum to do age estimation on the skeleton (I had some teeth, but not most of the ones that are diagnostic of age, which I’ll cover in a sec.). This is an image from and a link to one of the papers I used:
(Source)
Two things happen here as you age. One, the edges of the socket become damaged and it starts to change the anatomy (F is oldest). Two, that space in the middle is called the acetabular fossa, or the acetabular notch. And as you can see, the shape of it changes over time due to normal wear and tear. In combination with resources like the one I linked, we can use this to estimate the age of an adult or elderly individual.
Another tool we use has to do with the fusion of your growth plates. After the bones fuse, the line is still visible. Throughout your life the remodeling (normal breakdown/growth of bones and healing from damage.) causes the sutures to be come less and less visible. We call this obliteration. In the elderly, most of their sutures and growth plates will be completely obliterated. For example, the femur is in four pieces as a child. The main body of the femur, the head of the femur, the greater trochanter (The big bump on the top outside. This is like...the part that’s wides below your hips where your thigh meets your pelvis, but on the outside.), and the condyles (the rounded pieces on the far end.). The greater trochanter fuses and obliterates pretty early on, but the head and the condyles are pretty easy to see even in adults. Here’s an example showing the femoral head:
(Source)
As you can see, the trochanter has fused and is obliterated, but the head has fused and you can still see the line from the growth plate. The sutures in the skull are especially good for this, as cranial sutures take the majority of the lifespan to obliterate (sometimes they never fully do.).�� If you see a smooth skull, that person was ooooold.
The last easily accessible way we assess age at death is via tooth wear. Now, this won’t work in modern skeletons, which is why there’s a lot of research surrounding the evaluation of age at death. We’re well aware that after humans entered roughly the industrial age, our foods became soft and teeth no longer wear like they should, and after that point in time it’s not possible to use the standardized methods of tooth wear to evaluate age. Well, I should rephrase, it won’t be possible in westernized and industrialized societies. Cultures in Africa and South America that still practice pastoral or hunter/gatherer lifestyles will likely still have expected tooth wear. Anyone who lives in a society that has and uses grocery stores or doesn’t use two rocks to mill flour (Do not underestimate how much bread people ate.), is not going to have expected tooth wear (so it’s not about rural vs city.).
See, it’s normal and natural for teeth to wear. It’s normal and natural for the yellowish substance below the enamel, called dentin, to show. Dentin is almost as hard as enamel, and it actually regrows. We evolved to have tooth wear both on the surfaces and between the teeth. Humans used to eat much tougher foods, and even when we weren’t, our foods had a lot of grit in them (IE, tiny pieces of stone from milling flour. I have a whole ass theory about the role of dirt in the evolution of teeth for all animals but that’s neither here nor there.) and wore our teeth down. Wear isn’t a sign of bad dental hygiene, it’s a sign of a tougher diet. After the industrial age we started using different methods to produce food and started eating softer food overall, so we stopped putting the stresses on our jaws required for both proper tooth wear and the proper growth of our teeth (AKA: wisdom tooth impaction.). So normally worn teeth look like this:
(Source for both images)
If you’ll notice in that top image the lines where the teeth meet fit exactly together. This is because of tooth wear. Interestingly you’ll also notice in the bottom image that this individual’s teeth are unevenly worn, meaning they chewed on the right side of their mouth. This is actually something we see all the time because of both handedness, and insult to the teeth on one side of the aw (AKA it was painful cause they had cavities.). This individual was likely a young adult given that they don’t have a lot of tooth wear to begin with, but they were preferentially using one side of their mouth to chew and so it is more worn than it would be for someone who wasn’t doing that. Here is the chart we use to grade tooth wear and age on adult teeth:
(Source)
That link has a larger version of the chart and more images.
So the fact that I’m 40 and still can feel all the cusps on all of my molars is an anomaly compared to previous humans. Soft foods. So if you compare the above image of the jaw with the chart, you’ll see that the individuals in both pictures have wear in the 25-35yrs old age rage, or what we would consider to be a young adult. And before you start talking about average age of humans back in the day, don’t forget that the average includes a lot of dead children. Once you made it to adulthood you lived a decent amount of time.
So those of you who are older than your 30s or so might not remember this, but when your adult incisors come in they had small ridges on the edges. It was easier to tell on your top teeth (maxillary incisors) than your bottom ones (mandibular incisors.), but it’s present on both. These bad boys:
(Source)
That is obviously a living human, but I’m showing you because they wear quickly. They do, however, wear at a prescribed pace so if a set of remains has them they were young. Sometimes they’re gone before you’re even an adult, but I figured I’d mention them because they are another kind of tooth wear.
Disease: The last thing that helps in age determination are age-based diseases. Namely, osteoarthritis and osteoporosis. There are circumstances wherein someone younger can have both of those pathologies, but that’s why we have all of the other things. So if we see signs of arthritis in a younger person, we’ll have the other signs to help us realize that they aren’t an elderly individual.
Osteoarthritis is, essentially, a thinning of the cartilage, fluid, and other soft tissues in the joints, causing the bones to rub against each other instead of sliding nicely on the cartilage. Now, a certain amount of thinning is expected with age - obviously, as arthritis in the elderly is extremely common even now. But osteoarthritis is an escalation of the normal wear and tear into a pathology. Osteoarthritis damages the joints, and so bone attempts to regrow, so you see a lot of abnormal outgrowths of bone that fit tightly together because they were rubbing against each other. You also see, in extreme cases, striations on the bones where they were grinding together. Like this:
(Source)
This is a knee joint, viewed from the posterior side. You can see on the bottom condyle and the opposing articular surface that there are lines. Those lines are from the bones grinding. You also can see, especially on the tibia, all those little funky looking bone bits. All that roughness sticking out around end, below the flat surface. Some roughness there is normal, but that’s rougher than it should be and that’s the result of osteoarthritis.
The other disease common in the elderly is osteoporosis. Osteoporosis is an illness that causes compact/cortical (the thicker hard bone around the spingy bone to thin and become porous (hence the name.). I’ve held bone with extremely advanced osteoporosis and they are about half the weight of normal bones. So that’s the first sign. The next sign is that they’ll be damaged, both from the natural processes of time and from subsequent handling, because they’re farm more fragile than health adult bone. The vertebra also take on a “squished” appearance due to the forces of gravity and the remodeling during the life of the individual. You also will often see poorly healed breaks (I’ll show you more of this later in this series when I get to pathologies.).
So that brings us to the end of the bit about age determination. Hope you guys are enjoying this series. :) I think next up is gonna be teeth! =D
#science#KyidylBones#archaeology#forensic#forensic anthropology#skeleton#age#human skeleton#human remains#educational#infodump#bones#human bones
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Questions about the psych ward you’re afraid to ask
I was inpatient at three different hospitals in the Boston area between 2017 and 2018. Newton Wellesley Hospital (NWH) January 2017, McLean June 2018 and Mass General Hospital (MGH) twice September 2017 and November 2018
What about my phone?
In January 2017 NWH did not allow cell phones. I went to the ER (at my hospital, MGH) with my mom in crisis. She had my phone, and kept it with her when they decided to admit me and send me to NWH. If you ended up on this unit with your phone they collected it with your valuables and handed them over to security for the duration of your stay. There were two computers in the OT room that we were allowed to use when the room was staffed. (So beware of logging into sites you had two factor authentication set up for new computers)
The other two places allowed phones with restrictions. At MGH the nurses kept our chargers locked in the laundry closet, all together. I still have my medical id sticker on my charger. If I remember correctly you had to surrender your phone at night. At McLean they supplied their own bank of chargers out in the common areas. We needed to be up and out of bed for vitals before we could use our phones.
You’re encouraged to not be on your phone so much, as you’re there for treatment. It’s hard to strike a balance because I did want to stay on social media, but I didn’t want to say anything about being in the hospital. The first stay at NWH was actually helpful for me as a detox. I do use my phone too much and being psychotic and on social media is not a good mix for me.
What do I wear?
I wore my clothes in each unit. But each place had different expectations. At MGH it was perfectly acceptable for you to spend the day in your hospital PJs as long as you kept your hygiene. I hated those PJs, they were too warm and ill fitting so I wore my own clothes during the day.
NWH had an expectation that you were dressed in your own clothes. I remember they had a washer and dryer and staff would assist with laundry. What's important to know is that everything you bring in is screened for contraband and unsafe items. You can't wear clothing with drawstrings and that includes shoelaces. A lot of my sweatpants and hoodies had drawstrings. For one pair of sweats I let them cut the drawstring because I really wanted to wear it.
This is one of the reasons why it's helpful to have family or friends have access to where you live so you can get some creature comforts. And when I heard the laundry machine wasn't the cleanest at MGH I just cycled a few days of clothes with mom.
Do they feed you?
Yes and it's hospital food. That means at both NWH and MGH I was given a menu to order each day, like any other patient there. There was also a fridge/cabinet area off the common room for snacks and drinks. Instead at McLean Sodexo had a contract to provide food. There was no menu as they brought meals to the dining room. You didn't have a choice in food but if you had your phone and cash you could call for delivery. There were binders of menus by the entryway. But as someone who has to keep an eye out for crohn's food triggers I did not enjoy having less control over my food.
Where do I sleep?
The number of patients on the floor is based on the beds they have. At NWH I had a roommate and we had a room big enough for drawers/shelves, chairs, but shared a desk. We had our own bathroom, but had to be let into a common shower by staff. The unit was pretty old and claustrophobic and the plumbing and heating proved that. At McLean it was similar, except there were common floor bathrooms and showers.
MGH had real adjustable hospital beds and bathrooms with showers attached. Staff will still do their 15 minute checks and will knock on your bathroom door.
Checks?
Staff must visually count you every 15 minutes. The person who is assigned that role will usually have a clipboard or list to check everyone off. At night it means opening your room’s door and visually spotting that you’re in bed, alive. After the first couple nights you usually can ignore it.
If you are having a hard time and dealing with suicidal ideation, or intrusive thoughts, you should let staff know. They may put you on a 5 minute list, meaning you’ll see them around more often.
What do I do?
You’ll be assigned a care time to work on a treatment plan. Usually a psychiatrist and nurse will meet with you each morning, sometimes there’s more people like a social worker on your team as well. Whatever brought you to the hospital will be worked on, with the goal to stabilize you. That is their priority. In the meantime between rounds, meds, and meals there are groups scheduled. What’s available depends on the unit you’re in. There could be morning and evening check-ins where you just talk about the day as a group. Could be light exercise or yoga groups. Pet therapy and music therapy break up the day but it's all dependent on staffing levels. The pets are handled by volunteers for example when I saw them at MGH.
Back when I was at NWH I remember there were a lot of groups. From right after breakfast until post dinner check out. At MGH there were far fewer. The big difference was MGH’s visitor policy so the evenings were a lot more open. At NWH there was only a certain time in the evening that family and friends could visit during the week. And yes you’re expected to go to groups. Staff keeps track, and notes will go into your file. It will help, if not right now, then later when your care team sees good progress notes in your file. Even if you’re not into it, it’s a way to pass time and stay out of your room.
Weekends are quiet, sometimes to the point of utter boredom. There’s less activity and you will often just see the doctor on call instead of your assigned team. Depending on staff coverage there might be some structured activity, like open art block but not nearly as much as during the week. They emphasize visitor time.
Can I go outside?
Depends on how the unit is set up and staffing. McLean is on a campus and I was there in June so I was lucky to go outside. There was a level of privilege - staff needs to know you're stable enough to go out. NWH had a little enclosed outdoor space that staff worked hard to clear ice from. I was so glad to get out. But unfortunately you can't go outside if you stay at MGH. There's not enough staffing or much of a protocol. Besides, the closest outdoor space to Blake 11 is right at the front entrance where cars do drop off.
What are rounds?
All three of the hospitals are teaching hospitals meaning they’re affiliated with a medical school. I didn’t just see a psychiatrist. At the bare minimum I also saw a resident, a doctor who is in training and has picked psychiatry as their specialty. I remember a couple days the doctor let the resident interview me. I am pretty relaxed when it comes to teaching hospitals as I’ve only ever gone to MGH. But they have to ask you for permission. They want you to be involved in your treatment plan and give consent. If you're not comfortable having more bodies in the room then necessary you should speak up. And if you talk to your assigned nurse for the shift they will relay a message to the doctor.
What’s a shift?
The floor has to be staffed 24 hours. There are different coverage levels for each shift. Night is the lightest for example as everyone is supposed to be asleep or in their rooms and quiet. Day shift is the busiest, with people running various groups as well as rounds happening. I remember NWH had 3 8 hour shift rotation and MGH had 2 12 hour shift rotation. I remember when I first went to MGH I was so confused because everything was different from NWH. They even called their non nursing staff different terms, probably because of the job requirements.
How long do I stay?
Everyone’s treatment plan is different. For example someone who arrived after you may leave before you do. Generally your care team will try to figure out what’s going on and a game plan when you meet them for the first time. I’ve stayed about a week, maybe a little more depending on the stay. I stayed longer at NWH, but it was my first admission and I had a psychotic break while on steroids so it was more complicated. And my last stay at MGH was longer because we were doing a major treatment change, and rediagnosis. I woke up on the unit at MGH again and asked for a sleep study, but the attending had looked through my file of all the other admissions and diagnosed me as bipolar. I switched over to lithium which needed to be monitored and increased slowly.
What's next?
For me I went to partial after I was discharged. I remembered as a teen when I was diagnosed with Depression I went to partial after being in the hospital. I found it's helpful to ease the transition. You might have only been hospitalized for a few days but it's a completely different routine. It's like going from 0 miles per hour back to 60 very quickly. Partial is a therapy program set up with structured groups during the day but you sleep at home and commute.
Tips
It is easier staying in the hospital when you can have visitors, especially someone who can bring you things. It is easier to have your phone to coordinate visitors.
Unless your psychiatrist and you agree to prearrange an admission, you will most likely be coming from the ER. Two times of the four I was put into an ambulance and sent to another hospital. The other two times I was sent upstairs to MGH’s unit on Blake 11.
Odds are there is no air conditioning. Don't expect any windows that can open either. Sometimes the temperature in the unit really varies, so you might want to wear layers.
You do not need to make friends. It does help to pass the time if you can talk to people, and you may feel less alone. If there's issues with your roommate you can ask staff for help.
Figure out when the meals should be delivered so you're ready. Sometimes they are late or they forget your tray. Try to be nice no matter what. I've never gotten warm food that was too cold for me but I've heard staff offer to nuke it in the microwave.
If you're at a teaching hospital be prepared for students to visit as well. I saw many nursing students at MGH. I would chat then up. It's a change of pace. I remember a medical student was on my care team and gave me psychological testing.
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Prompt: For Dean's birthday, Cas Googles "presents for loved ones" and inadvertently follows recommendations for romantic gifts.
Shit. Okay. Hi anon, i forgot how to see inbox notifs and have no clue if u sent this during my drunk promt ask or sober prompt ask but will fill now.
Alright nvm ^^^ that didn’t happen.
I lost this prompt for days after I got drunk and I couldn’t find it in my drafts and alas, finally. Anyways, this was written fully sober, lmao.
Just a Little Bit of Your Heart, 2.2k,
fluff, light angst, post s14. (ao3 link if u want)
It’s January 20th, 4 days out from Dean’s 40th birthday and he still has yet to decide on a gift. It’s his first time, really, buying Dean a birthday gift. Sure, there had been the pack of funny socks he had snagged in passing from the check out at a Gas-N-Sip, but there hadn’t been any thought behind that, no planning, nothing that Castiel thought constituted the socks as a gift. Not really.
Not only that, but there had never really been occasion to purchase a gift for Dean until now. Sam and Castiel had decided that, with the world coming to an end and all, Dean finally deserved a proper birthday party. In years past, he had either insisted on drowning out his birthday’s with booze or insisted on ‘no gifts.’
Castiel isn’t sure why, maybe because the eldest Winchester brother would only feel more indebted to the others around him, or perhaps because he simply didn’t like gifts. Either way, that’s why it became his mission to get the perfect gift for Dean. Something that isn’t a curse, but a comfort.
The time after Mary and Jack had passed away and Chuck opened the gates of hell had been rough for Dean and him. Sam had kept a protective arm’s length between Castiel and Dean, insisting Dean needed time. It hurt to feel their bond being stretched thin as he’d watch Dean across the bunker from the corner of his eye, careful not to step into his space. Castiel had decided to stay in the bunker despite the tension though, Sam insisting they needed all hands on deck as they began on the long road to killing God.
Still, despite their close proximity, and the time they’ve had to heal, he can’t help but feel further from Dean.
Cas remembers when Sam told a story of the time he gave Dean a chocolate bar and some motor oil for Christmas. Apparently, Dean had lit up at the sentiment, but Castiel can’t handle settling for something like that.
Dean deserves something special.
Castiel begins his search on Google using the simplest, most “Dean” search terms he can think of.
Men’s flannels
Not special enough
Classic records
Maybe some time, but still, not good enough.
A new pair of boots
Shoes are always too risky.
Cowboy costume
Halloween maybe, but not for this.
Guns
Dean already has one he trusts.
It’s been nearly two hours browsing Google and Amazon before Castiel has to take a break and let his head loll back with a sigh.
After stretching a bit and standing up to pace the length of the bunker, he finally settles on a Google search that he’s sure will bear fruit.
Gifts to show you care for someone.
Castiel takes his time clicking through the links and scrolling through many of the lists. He nearly gives up when finally, an article entitled, “Gifts to Connect You to the Person You Care About” catches his eye.
Cas smiles at the headline and clicks through the list, cataloging the possibilities away in his mind.
However, all those possible gifts dissipate from his mind as soon as he sees it. It’s perfect, and they have some in stock at the Bed Bath & Beyond an hour and a half away in Nebraska. With that, Cas calls a “Be back later!” into the seemingly empty bunker and heads out to fetch Dean’s gift.
When he finally arrives at the store, he makes his way inside and heads to the sleep section, his eyes lighting up when he sees what he’s looking for on the shelf below a big “As Seen On TV” sticker.
Next to the sticker it reads: “Bed Beats”
Bed Beats are a pair of wristbands and compact speakers that are connected via wifi anywhere in the world. Just slip the wristband on, place the disc speaker underneath your pillow and send a request to your partner through the app. When they slip on their own wristband, the device will relay their heartbeat to your speaker and vice versa. Never feel disconnected again.
Castiel grins, giddy, and picks up the first box on the shelf. It’s exactly what he and Dean need. It’s the perfect way for Cas to watch over Dean without invading his space. It’s anatomical communication without speech. Cas will know when Dean needs help as his heartbeat speeds up, he’ll know when he’s at peace, he’ll know he’s alive.
He also blinks at the bursting yellow sticker that sits on the top left corner of the box that exclaims, “Great for Long Distance Couples!”
They may not be a couple, but with the way that their souls and relationship has grown distant, Castiel decides that’s enough to classify them as ‘long distance.’
As he waits in the line to check out, Cas also grabs a simple card and a tube of discounted, red wrapping paper left over from the holiday season.
When he gets back to his car, he decides it’s best to get everything in order before presenting the gift to Dean. When he finally gets into the heavily taped box, he pulls out one set of the wristband/speaker combos and sets it aside for himself.
Before shrouding the other set in the metallic, red of post-Christmas, 99¢ wrapping paper, he syncs the devices and downloads the app to avoid the hassle of setting it up later.
Then, he writes, with his thigh as a sort of table, in the card with an old pen he found in the console of his truck.
I’m including the instruction booklet in this card (please don’t read until after you open the gift!)
Dean,
I know I’ve made so many mistakes lately, and that perhaps we do not see eye to eye on everything any longer, but this is a chance to connect without having to agree. Just to sleep and not be so alone.
Happy Birthday. I hope you like it.
Yours, Castiel
However, he scribbles out the ‘yours’ as it feels out of place in this letter. With that, he seals the card, and the instructions, into a white envelope with Dean’s name in angelic script printed on the front.
The drive home is pleasant and he can’t help but feel butterflies for the moment he gets to present it to his charge.
The next days pass silently, Castiel with his gift for Dean hidden in his own closet and nearly forgotten amid all the preparations for the party.
Sam was in charge of inviting people and Dean had insisted on being in charge of food and drinks. On the day of the party, Castiel sits off to the side as many of the guests enter, most are hunters he’s never met before, and he can’t help but feel like an outsider as the day of barbequing and reminiscing devolves into pie and drunkenness by nightfall.
He’s glad to see Jody and Claire, but even then, their conversations are stilted, both of them want to speak primarily to Dean, the ‘birthday boy’, while Cas isn’t allowed that luxury.
He sits away from Dean all night, only making contact to say “Happy Birthday, Dean” after he blows out the ‘4’ and ‘0’ candles that someone stuck straight through the latticework on a sweet, cherry pie. Cas smiles as Claire goes up and whispers something to Dean that makes him throw his head back in laughter and begin a lively conversation with her.
That’s when he realizes he’s on the outside looking in.
From where he stands, nursing a finger of whiskey, he can see Alex and Garth discussing the medical anomalies of Lycanthropes, Sam, apocalypse-world-Bobby, Donna and Jody playing some sort of cards-and-drinking game, a few people he doesn’t know attempting beer pong in the war room and even a pair of local hunters musing over the library’s expansive collection.
He’s an outsider like he’s always been with the Winchesters. When he’s not of use, he feels unwelcome. He knows there’s never any ill intent, but even now, when he doesn’t even need his angel mojo, he still doesn’t quite fit. He doesn’t understand half of the banter thrown around the room, he can’t get drunk unless he drinks the entirety of the Men of Letters scotch collection, and he can’t interact with the guests without Dean coming up.
At this, loneliness overtaking him, he decides to retreat to his room to wait the party out.
He sends a nod and a tip of his glass to Sam before motioning that he’s leaving, Sam acknowledges him with a grin, drunk on whiskey and the excitement of the party, and Cas slips out of sight.
Before letting himself rest, he sneaks into Dean’s room to place the card and the gift on his bed.
He decides it’s best that way.
–
Castiel keeps his personal speaker and wristband close to him, beside his phone on his nightstand, hoping that some night it will be of use. He feels the uncertainty drift in and out as each night passes without so much as an acknowledgment of the gift.
A week passes before anything happens. It’s 3 am when Castiel’s ears pick up on the small ‘ding’ that pops out of his phone speakers.
He rolls over and grabs his phone. On the screen sits a notification.
Bed Beats
Dean would like to share his heartbeat. Accept?
Castiel grins into the dark and arranges the speaker underneath his pillow before securing the soft band around his wrist at his pulse point.
With a tentative thumb, he swipes to accept and lays his right ear down onto his pillow to hear Dean. He can hear his heart beating quickly, possibly a nightmare, Cas thinks, and wills his own jittery heart to slow. He has to be the grounding one for Dean, has to be a comfort.
His own heart beats deep like a drum, and soon he can hear Dean’s heart rate slowing to match his own. Soon, they’re in perfect sync with one another. He feels closer to Dean than he has in months and hopes Dean feels the same.
He listens as his charge’s heart rate begins to slow even more, to around 75 beats per minute, he notes, and assumes he’s slipping into sleep.
Castiel, usually one for wandering the bunker after the brothers are asleep, doesn’t dare lift his head from his pillow until Dean ends the connection come morning light.
It continues like this for many weeks, Dean requesting Castiel’s heartbeat in the wee morning hours, disconnecting at sunrise, and going about the days as if nothing has changed.
Nothing’s really changed during the day. They continue to keep their distance. Dean thanks him for making the coffee one Sunday morning and Sam tells Cas, “See, space is all you needed,” his eyes sincere, “It’s healing.” But Sam doesn’t know the reason the healing process has begun to speed up. Cas can tell Dean hasn’t told his brother of the gift, and he prefers it that way. It’s the first thing between them that Sam isn’t clued into since before Mary’s passing. That alone brings him peace.
It’s a Tuesday in early March when everything shifts. Cas is lying on his back in his bed, nerves nearly taking him. Dean almost always pings by 3 am, and now it’s 45 minutes past and he’s trying to keep calm.
A sound makes Castiel’s ears prick up, but this time it’s not a sharp ‘ding,’ it’s the soft sound of knuckles rapping on his door.
Cas, beneath the covers in his most comfortable shirt, one Dean loaned him for the brief period he was human, props himself up on one elbow and quirks his head as the door opens softly, revealing Dean in his doorway.
He’s in a Led Zeppelin t-shirt with holes around the seams, and a pair of black briefs, and the “Send Noods” socks Castiel bought him.
“Dean?”
“Hey, Cas” Dean whispers into the darkness as he steps into the room, shutting the door behind him with care.
Words die on Castiel’s lips and his breath hitches as Dean pads, soft and calm, to his bedside.
He lifts the corner of Castiel’s blankets ever so slightly and looks down into the glint of Castiel’s blue eyes as if asking permission. Castiel gives him a slight nod and holds his breath as Dean lifts the covers further and slips in under them. He positions himself with his head resting on the left side of Castiel’s chest, ear right above his heart and arm draped across him, hand gently thumbing at the soft fabric on Castiel’s right shoulder.
Castiel can feel his own heart rate pick up, it’s swift and uncontrollable and it’s filling his vessel up to the brim with hard thumps. He’s beginning to wonder if he’ll ever breathe again when a low thud overcomes his near panic.
As bright as a bell in a void, he hears it, Dean’s heartbeat, drumming from the deep. This time it’s his charge’s heart that’s strong and steadfast and convinces Castiel’s own to join it in slow synchronization.
Castiel takes in a breath and slows his own heart rate. He sees Dean’s eyelids flutter shut and he lets his chin rest in the soft of Dean’s hair, his left hand rubbing slow circles into his back.
“I missed you.”
Dean doesn’t speak, but Castiel can feel the whisper of a smile move on his chest.
As he lets himself drift into peace, thoughts blink in his mind at the pace of his heart.
I fit here. Dean fits here. This is my family. This is who I love. This is home.
____
(Gift based on this!!!)
#deancas#destiel#destiel fanfic#destiel ficlet#destiel drabble#angel !!#king !!#prompt fill#asks#johnlockshire#anon#Johnlockshire replies#s14 spoilers#spn s14 spoilers#my fics
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A Place to Call Home | Chapter 34
Masterlist Here
Rating: T+
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre/Warnings: action/adventure/family | kidnapping, violence, strong language.
Story summary: It’s been a few months since the Battle of New York. Steve Rogers is acclimating to life when he crosses paths with teenager Katelyn Sanders, a SHIELD recruit and highly valued asset with a dark past. Follow Kate’s adventure from SHIELD asset to Avenger to wanted fugitive over the course of her youth and into adulthood with her Avenging family. Follows Infinity Saga and beyond.
Words: 7,208
Disclaimer: Majority of properties within this fanfic are owned by Marvel/Disney. My OC Katelyn Sanders, as well as a few other unaffiliated things within this fanfic are of my own creation.
Author Note: Relogs are welcome and appreciated :) Please no plagiarism or reposts on other platforms. Updates occur weekly on Fridays, however posts on Tumblr usually occur Saturdays.
Full story available on FFN and A03 here and here
Chapter 34 can be found here on FFN and here on AO3 in full.
Check out a portion of Chapter 34 below:
It's late in the evening, and Kate is out wandering the streets.
While one could argue it was more dangerous than walking around during the day when people were out and about - for Kate - the desertedness of the city made it easier to spot threats. The overwhelming nature of the day, when hundreds of thousands of people roamed the streets, it was difficult for Kate to focus. Walking around late at night however, with fewer people present, brought about a certain clarity.
While Kate's ability granted her many talents, it also made her hyper aware of a whole magnitude of things. Things most people didn't notice or perhaps didn't even have the courage to confront.
Picking up dinner with Clint earlier that day - Kate hadn't planned on doing anything out of the ordinary. Waiting for the agent to return from the restaurant with their takeout was the plan… Until she heard it.
An individual yelling out, proclaiming someone had taken their backpack. Attention already peaked; Kate had found herself pushing off the wall, heading down the sidewalk towards the closest alley before feeling her senses heighten. The sound bounced off walls and channeled her way. As if she had a sort of psychic map in her mind, Kate picked up a jog, making her way through the small maze of alleys until she heard the sound of heavy breathing pick up.
Breaking into a short run, Kate made her way around the corner, gauging her point of impact before running round the corner, left arm extended out she slammed it into an individual's chest, causing their feet to fly out before they hit the ground with a pained grunt-like yell.
Picking up the backpack, Kate had watched as the individual, looking only a few years older than herself, had quickly gotten up and ran away, more fearful than she had originally anticipated.
The whole ordeal had been over as quickly as it had started. The individual that had called out regarding their stolen property eventually ran up to her and Kate returned the property, mentioning that the one who had taken it had dropped it. No need to gloat.
Kate had made her way back to the restaurant quickly, hoping she hadn't been missed, only to see Clint on the phone and looking somewhat nervous.
Yeah, that hadn't been the greatest moment. Especially after Steve's reaction when they got back to the Tower.
Hands deep in her hoodie pockets, Kate continues to walk down the mostly empty sidewalk dimly lit by streetlights. There weren't many people out. The majority of them didn't look all that menacing, but her senses made clear which people projected ill-intent and which didn't. Raised heart rates and tense muscles were prominent in most of the individuals she passed, as if they thought they'd get caught any moment.
While her better judgment told her this wasn't smart, she also couldn't really remember a time when she did something like this. The last time she was "normal" she was probably seven years old. The amount of freedom people her age had- she didn't know… However she felt capable enough to be out here… looking for trouble to stop.
She tried not to dwell on that fact too much - the fact that she was out here late at night looking for trouble - some kind of bad to stop.
Turning down a different block, Kate keeps her eyes ahead but somewhat low on the sidewalk. She could feel eyes turn towards her as she passed people here and there. Pulling her hood over her head, Kate continues on her way.
Aside from the thundercloud over her head telling her she was asking for trouble, the city was somewhat comforting at night. It might be her subconscious understanding that she could handle any individual who may approach her with ill intent, but regardless of the fact, she felt a sense of ease walking down the street, the cold air soothing her.
A string of angered curses suddenly pulls Kate from her thoughts and her eyes snap upwards. Coming to a corner, she looks down the sidewalk seeing two people disappear into one of the alleyways.
"I- said no," A female voice; agitated.
Clenching and unclenching her hands in her pockets, Kate begins making her way down the sidewalk before slowing at the corner of the alleyway where the two people now where.
"You don't seem to understand that me telling you no at work, and me telling you no now, hasn't changed anything-" The woman's fist was curled up tightly, the man in front of her holding her wrist tight enough that she couldn't pull it away, but loose enough that he wasn't trying to fully restrain her.
"I paid you double, you owe me more than a private sh- Can I help you?"
Kate tilts her head lightly, the man now looking over his shoulder expectantly while eyeing her impatiently.
Kate's eyes move between him and the woman momentarily before the woman rips her wrist from his grasp and begins walking towards Kate, and then out onto the sidewalk. Her expression was one of annoyance and frustration but her heart rate gave away how fearful she was as she picked up a quick pace down the sidewalk.
The man was stationary momentarily, the tenseness to his body obvious - ability or not.
Cursing under his breath, he begins walking in the same direction the woman had, going to pass Kate and head down the sidewalk. He intentionally knocks her shoulder with his own as he passes her, causing her to step back a hair before turning to look over her shoulder.
There were certain aspects to her ability that made things not usually visible, known to her. Certain factors helped her to anticipate behavior. Muscle tension, walking pace, expression, even smell by means of odor changes. Fear, anger, and happiness can cause chemical changes related that give off different odors. For example, when someone is afraid, they may sweat, which gives off a distinct odor she can associate accordingly.
Turning on her heel, Kate picks up her walking pace to follow the man.
~0~
A Few Hours Later…
For Tony, sleeping was something becoming harder and harder to come by. It wasn't that he had… trouble. He just had a lot of energy. And ideas and random thoughts would also hit him at odd hours of the night, thoughts he had to act on in case he forgot them in the morning.
He had promised Pepper to give the workshop a break. While he was doing that- she never said he couldn't hangout on the communal floor doing what he most likely would've done in the workshop.
"Jarvis, how's it looking?" Tony questions, the only light in the area coming off the tablet in his hands.
"Diagnostics have been run, sir. Trials are ready whenever you see fit." The AI responds.
Tony chews on his bottom lip lightly for a moment, eyes searching the screen as he looks over the image present.
It was something he had been working on as a side project. Something for Kate. With the kid being around for the foreseeable future, he figured finding something they can work on aside from her ability would be beneficial.
She was an interesting character, Tony had to admit. He usually didn't let much visibly surprise him, but she was a curious individual and he was looking forward to getting her out of her shell. There were certain moments or situations where Kate would surprise him, give someone sass or show a confidence he suspected lurked just beneath the surface - something she didn't reveal very often.
"Sir, Katelyn Sanders is about to get off the elevator."
Tony's brow knits as he looks over his shoulder, eyes meeting the closed elevator doors before he swipes the images on his tablet aside.
"Where's she coming from?"
"The lobby, sir."
"... Uh huh." Tony's lips part slightly as he processes the statement.
This wasn't the first time Jarvis had informed him. Whatever it was the kid was doing - going out at night, she seemed to be coming back alright. It wasn't his place to necessarily scold her for her actions.
The ding of the elevator finally opens and Tony doesn't acknowledge the movement of someone walking out of the space before stopping. In the following seconds, Kate goes to disappear back into the elevator.
"Goin so soon?" Tony speaks up, tapping about on the tablet screen. "You're out kind of late, kid… Three a.m.? Good thing I was down here and not your pops."
A gentle scold… a suggestive scold; not a full on scold.
"I was jus-... I wanted to get some air" Kate responds. She sounded a bit closer.
"Could've gotten some on the balcony," Tony turns and eyes the teen with an amused smirk. She appeared anxious but accepting of the situation.
"Regardless of whatever this is I am now a part of; just make sure you don't do anything rash on these little adventures you're taking." Voice laced with a hint of concern, Tony continues to eye the teen, seeing her gaze elsewhere.
"Adventures? Plural?" Despite her controlled expression, Tony can hear the amusement in her voice and gives a little chuckle before nodding to the side.
"Well you looked like a zombie this morning, and we only watched that show til around ten," Tony offers.
At his comment, Kate clenches her jaw and takes a couple steps to the side, blocking his view of her face as she crosses her arms.
Alright, m'probably pushing her a little too much.
"I won't pester you, go get some rest Kenai."
Tony may or may not have a small list of nickname ideas for the kid. Nicknames for her weren't coming as easily to him. T-1000 was the next one that came to mind but… Calling the kid a terminator wasn't appropriate. Especially now that he knows more about her. Those details… Made his skin crawl. When he looked at Katelyn, he didn't see someone capable of racking up a body count greater than two dozen.
Hearing the teen question the nickname, Tony blinks his thoughts away quickly before giving her an amused smile and a shrug - brow knitting seconds later.
"You haven't seen Brother Bear? Bah- we'll get you caught up, don't worry. For now I gotta keep thinking of some nicknames for you." Tony mumbles, eyes still on the tablet.
Preferably ones that don't label you a killing machine… Unfortunately something I don't think it too far off from what that Doctor Gordon was trying to turn you into.
Kate is silent following Tony's words, but doesn't wait too long to head towards the stairwell.
Once the door closes, Tony lets the tablet fall into his lap, brow knitting gently.
"Jarvis, I need you to scope security cameras within a five block radius. I wanna know where's she's been going and what she's been doing,"
"Will do, sir."
The rest of chapter 34 can be found here on FFN and here on AO3. Take a peak to keep reading!
Stay healthy, stay safe, sending lots of love. <3
Masterlist Here
#avengers fanfiction#dad!steve rogers#Steve Rogers x Daughter!OC#tony stark#natasha romanoff#clint barton#bruce banner#iron man#black widow#hawkeye#hulk#captain america#shield#nick fury
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Hello! I'm so excited to see a new blog!! Anyway, I really loved the head cannons you wrote about big brother Suga, and I was wondering if you could write something similar about either Asahi or Daichi (I big love my 3rd years I'm so sorry). Anyway! Thank you very much! Have an amazing day
Hi! I decided to put all the big bros together in one as it just made sense for me to write them all together! Thank you so much so much for the support and I hope you guys have a great day 💖
Bokuto Kōtarō Headcanons | Word Count: 404
-Bokuto is the most enthusiastic brother anyone could ever have, within seconds of them setting foot on campus he’s practically picked them up, flinging them around and telling everyone this is his little sister and that she is amazing! (It took bribing from Akaashi to put her down)
-He’s gonna beg them to join the girls volleyball team or even be a manager for the boys, he wants them to be as good as he is or at least show off to them constantly, if they already had a different club in mind he wouldn’t care, he would just brag more and more about them being the best in that club
-This boy can barley even remember his tie in the morning, so if his sister is to forget anything there’s no way he would even notice it to take it too her. If anything, he probably forgot his lunch or homework as well, there’s no helping either of them.
-In regards to them getting into trouble, Bokuto is 100% going to scold her even if he has done the same thing before, he wants his little sister to have a good reputation and be her best. He’s so proud of her either way and just wants her to enjoy school but also appreciate the education side.
-Definitely watches her like a hawk, nothing she does gets past him! Whether it be at lunch, in class or even in the halls he’s got a question for them;
“Who’s that boy?!”
“What did they say?”
“Are they making fun of you?”
Someone could literally bump into her and he’s already fired up to protect.
-He wants his little sister to remain pure amd innocent, he made that very obvious when he saw a boy talking to them and he literally ran across the field screaming his signature “Hey hey heyyyy” but more aggressive, before questioning him relentlessly. Now no boys dare to talk to her, which definitely had caused a sibling squabble!
-On the other hand though, his protectiveness can be really useful if anyone was to try pick on his sister, they’d definitely need to think twice after catching a glimpse of Bokutos over powering glare.
-In the end, Bokutos a very overwhelming type sibling to have in the school, being loud and flashy but he really just wants them to feel safe and secure in their first year and not worry at all
Akaashi Keiji Headcanons | Word Count: 379
-Literally the complete opposite to Bokuto, couldn’t really care that they’re in the school or what they did and why. As long as it wasn’t anything extreme and that there was no trouble caused he would want to leave her be and have her find her own path in school. He believes by giving them the independence if they do ever really ask for help they really do need it.
-Takes his study seriously to some extent but also wants to relax and knows his limit, he tries his hardest to teach his little sister this in their first year, he’s willing to help them out but only they can tell if they’ve reached their limit- which is why he wants them to be independent
-Will definitely bring in anything she forgets, he always leaves slightly later and will check for anything they couldn’ve forgotten, he knows that in the first year it’s easy to get confused and forget certain things.
-Because of his statue like facade a lot of first years tend to be a little sketchy and worried to talk or be around Akaashi, like did he have no emotion?! If it wasn’t for his sister frequently going up to him to collect forgotten food and/or just have a normal chat, the first years aren’t as freaked out by his demeanour now
-If she was ever bed ridden due to illness he would try his best to collect up all homework from their teachers and even ask some of their friends to copy down notes for them. He would hate for her to go back into school after being sick to then feel even worse about catching up on a few days of work
-He’s also the most chill about his sister talking to boys, he wants her to enjoy life and quite frankly cannot be bothered at all for the whole protective chat stuff, like said before he wants her to learn from mistakes and grow through it
-Overall Akaashi just as calm as ever, it’s as if he doesn’t even have a sister sometimes, he wants them to both live their lives but be able to help eachother when needed. It’s not like he doesn’t care, though, he just doesn’t want to hound them constantly.
Asahi Azumane Headcanons | Word Count: 424
-Asahi is more scared of the first years then they are of him, with his ‘scary’ demeanour and adultish looks none of them really try to talk to him and ask for help around school, they’d rather be lost. This makes him feel quite disheartened actually, so when his little sister finds out about it she tries her hardest tk promote Asahi and the teddy bear he really is!
-With that, Asahi really enjoys having his little sister in the school, less people are scared of him meaning he is more comfortable with just walking around and not worrying about being screamed at. She’s like his little moral support, keeping him calm, despite the fact it really should be the other way around
-Sometimes the promotions of her brother are futile though, which is never an issue really, everyone knows that she is Asahis little sister so no one ever tries to mess wih her, it’s to much of a risk!
-He often invites his sister to watch practice, due to Asahis and Noyas friendship she wasn’t at all phased by the initial squealing of a new cute girl in the gym, it was practically mandatory for her to deal with. She was also a big part in bribing Asahi to get back into volleyball and often cheers him on at matches and even just for practice because she knows that even if she is the ‘little’ sister, she still has to act older for his babyish acts occasionally
-Asahis really good at collecting up any homework she may need in her absences, the first time he did it though he get stumbling on his words to their teacher and accidentally brought home the complete wrong homework to them because the teacher has 0 idea on what he really wanted
-He will also try his best to help her with any homework, he’s not the smartest kf the smart but wants to feel like he is able to help her like she helps him, he would like her to take education somewhat seriously even if it isn’t her forte and she wants to do somthing more out going- it’s still important to have a small back up!
-After all, Asahi in reality is more of the little brother sometimes but he still wants his little sister to look up to him because he is proud of her and knows she’ll do amazing in school. He does really appreciate the softer reputation she gave him for his last year as well, it’s a huge bonus
Daichi Sawamura Headcanons | Word Count: 340
-Much like Suga from my previous post, Daichis dad mode comes into action while his sisters in school. He’s all about having fun and enjoying life but he also believes education is important and wants his sister to feel the same.
-On the first day he toured her around, showing her every inch of the school and letting her knkw about the ‘bad people’ places he didn’t want to find her.
-After all the dad chat, he goes more fun and friendly, he would hate for her to dislike him based on how firm he can be and that’s not the way he wants her to see him, he is still just her brother and they’re both still kids after all.
-Unfortunately if she is to be forgetful Daichi is not going to be able to help, he’s up and gone at the crack of dawn due to his captains duties meanjng he won’t even see her in the morning, let alone take her lunch! If she did forget something like lunch or water he would make sure to buy her some food though, along with a little scold, but he isn’t evil
-Will 100% introduce her to the team but will set ground rules with them before they meet her, this consist of:
No dating or flirting
No harassment
No embarrassing
These are also all directed towards Noya and Tanaka
-Everyone knows Daichi, even the first years, this means they know not to cross the line with his little sister because boy can he be scary sometimes! If anyone was to say anything at all about her they’ll definitely know about it, Daichi will ensure to have a little chat with the person who said anything; nothing was ever mentioned about it again
-Overall Daichi wants his sister to be a strong independent person just like himself and hopes he sets a good example for her. He wants her to have a good enjoyable time at Karasuno just like himself, just not too much fun, as education is important!
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu scenario#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu headcanon#haikyuu oneshot#daichi sawamura#daichi x reader#daichi imagine#daichi headcanon#daichi oneshot#daichi scenario#asahi azumane#asahi x reader#asahi imagine#asahi oneshot#asahi headcanon#asahi scenario#kōtarō bokuto#bokuto x reader#bokuto imagine#bokuto scenario#bokuto headcanon#bokuto oneshot#akaashi keiji#akaashi x reader#akaashi imagine#akaashi headcanon#akaashi scenario#akaashi oneshot
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H2holbro22's Xanga Blog 1.1 7431748 H2holbro22's Xanga Site h2holbro22 [email protected] H2holbro22 H2holbro22 [email protected] H2holbro22 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 23:06:56 -04:00 Hey everyone! How is it goin? My day started off really bad because my favorite necklace fell off this morning and I didn't realize it... until I got on the bus of course. Luckily, I stepped on it when I got off the bus and now I'm wearing it lol. I can't just get another necklace like that becuz I got it as a gift from my friend when he went to another country. Today in ecology, we went outside and collected grasshoppers for a lab and we found 2 grasshoppers on top of each other lmao. Anyways, I'm just throwing my hackysack up in the air cuz I'm bored as hell and it's a school night. Btw, I think I'm getting some kind of "signs" becuz everytime i look at the clock, it's either 3:33, 5:55, or 12:34. It's really freaking me out. But regardless, at 12:00 tonight, it will be Monday, September 13th, 2005 and the new Trapt cd will come out!!! Yeah I'm definitly gonna get that tomorrow. I'm also gonna go over to Sarah's house and get sick with her lol! She's feeling sick so chances are, I will get sick too, but I don't care. I actually like being sick in a way... you get more attention, you get lots of soup, you can stay home from school, parents do whatever you say! Ugh but then there is that damn cough syrup Robitussin stuff that tastes like kerosene mixed with antifreeze . Oh yeah, I saw the worst thing when I was driving with my dad a few days ago. A squirrel got ran over by a car, but it was squirming around before it died and blood was going everywhere. It was pretty sad. So does anyone have the newest Good Charlotte cd? I've been listening to that lately and it's pretty good. I like a bunch of the songs and I even put "Predictable" in my stereo thing. Yeah enough of the randomness....
So on Friday, Sarah came over to my house and we went out to eat at O'Charley's and then we went to Pet Supplies Plus. The parrot was saying "hello" to us... at one point, I tried to make the parrot say "bitch" but it didnt work lol. After that, we hung out at my house and kinda watched Freddy Got Fingered.. wow thats a hilarious movie. Then on Saturday, I went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose with Sarah and a few of the parts made me jump lol. Even though I knew something was gonna jump out. It wasn't that bad of a movie.. it was based on a true story too! After that, I went to visit my uncle in the hospital... he got ran over by a truck and now he is in a coma... I couldn't even look at him, it was pretty bad... but eventually we left the hospital and got home. Then I went over to Sarah's and we watched the OSU vs. Texas game. On Sunday, me and Joe played hackysack and Kart for a while. After that, me and Sarah saw The Cave and it wasn't really that great, so I wouldn't recommend seein it. It was boring at a lot of parts... it reminded me of one of the many repeated movies that they show on the Sci-Fi channel. But it was still fun because I got to be with Sarah! I can always have fun around Sarah, even if were just sitting on a concrete sidewalk doing nothing.
This part right here is for you Sarah, since it might seem like I never really take the time to say stuff... but even though I don't usually express my feelings through Xanga, yeah lol. SARAH YOU'RE AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND AND I LOVE YOU!!! I don't know why it feels like I've known you for years, but I think its cuz I can talk to you about anything and everything... so you've become really close to me in such a short period of time.. 1 month and 8 days to be exact. You mean soo much to me, and I don't wanna lose you. I know I won't though because I totally trust you. You always know how to cheer me up, whether its in person, on the phone, through a text, or whatever else. Don't ever worry about losing me because the only way that would happen is if I died, or if you were to cheat on me or something like that (which you wouldn't lol). So I'm more likely to die than anything. But above anything, I love you soo much baby and don't EVER forget that!!!
Now for some pictures... I got a picture of my AWESOME drawings of a shoe and sunglasses and a picture of me attempting to BLIND my cat lol. Enjoy
Cya later everyone and please leave me some comments!
]]> 2005-09-12 22:17:49 2005-09-13 02:17:49 open Publish post 346791751 1 2005-09-12 22:22:00 2005-09-13 02:22:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 681123026 kinda watched the movie lol. ok well im going to get in the bed now. i love u so much baby! im gonna call u. XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOXO]]> 1 2005-09-12 22:24:00 2005-09-13 02:24:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 681128468 yay for shoes and crosseyed cats. i told you it would go crosseyed and it did. muahah. lol.
nice sandals today : )
]]> 1 2005-09-12 22:26:00 2005-09-13 02:26:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 681136291 chris!!! I never comment you anymore.. whats up with tha? lol. ill see ya around. lylab
muahz <3
]]> 1 2005-09-15 20:56:00 2005-09-16 00:56:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 686096226 ur drawings are sweet, wheres the shaver?]]> 1 2005-09-23 17:03:00 2005-09-23 21:03:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 699587982 1 2005-09-28 21:21:00 2005-09-29 01:21:00 lil_HunnyBunny [email protected] http://lil-hunnybunny.xanga.com/ 0 19957830 0 709456753 hey this hope. you dont know me but im heather's bestest best friend. i just wanted to say that you draw so fricken awsome!!!!!comment me back. cya
Hope
]]> 1 2005-10-21 20:37:00 2005-10-22 00:37:00 lil_HunnyBunny [email protected] http://lil-hunnybunny.xanga.com/ 0 19957830 0 751231697 Hey wats up random props
Peace <33Ashley
]]> 1 2006-07-30 21:46:00 2006-07-31 01:46:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 1154666342 Peace <33Ashley]]> 1 2006-08-10 12:42:00 2006-08-10 16:42:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 1165135698 H2holbro22 Thu, 08 Sep 2005 22:33:57 -04:00 Picture break!! Basically, Monica straightened my hair because we wanted to see what it would look like and it turned out looking pretty awesome. So heres just a few pics.. oh yea and my cat lol...
Not half bad. Yea leave some comments!
]]> 2005-09-08 22:33:57 2005-09-09 02:33:57 open Publish post 344126208 1 2005-09-09 15:13:00 2005-09-09 19:13:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 674699405 1 2005-09-09 20:36:00 2005-09-10 00:36:00 n1ckd33s [email protected] http://n1ckd33s.xanga.com/ 0 11164525 0 675254761 ok, enough of my "gay hairstylist specialist" attitudeIt rocks though, wear it like that more often, 'chicks 'ill dig it']]> 1 2005-09-09 23:08:00 2005-09-10 03:08:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 675505483 1 2005-09-10 10:02:00 2005-09-10 14:02:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 675994007 hey! thanks for the comment. actually i dont go to central anymore. im at north for career center for the semester. its kinda good though, i get to get away from everyone. but yeah, ill be back at central next semester which is pretty good <3 im so fucking happy we won last night! omg, it was just AWESOME you missed out on a PERFECT game, i dont know. we deserved to win so im happy about that, but illl talk to you later babe! IM me sometime -RUK ME HARDx3-]]> 1 2005-09-10 13:32:00 2005-09-10 17:32:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 676344488 1 2005-09-10 16:56:00 2005-09-10 20:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 676696691 I see you like Soccer and Chipotle me to..]]> 1 2005-10-25 22:37:00 2005-10-26 02:37:00 PyRoKiTtY14 [email protected] http://pyrokitty14.xanga.com/ 0 3592951 0 759118122 H2holbro22 Wed, 07 Sep 2005 23:35:28 -04:00 Hey peeps! Here i decided to fill out a survey that i got from my my baby, so just check it out. There are a few interesting answers here lol:
( ) Smoked a joint.( ) Crashed a car.( ) Stolen a car.(x) Been in love.( ) Had a threesome.(x) Been dumped.( ) Shoplifted.( ) Been fired.(x) Been in a fist fight.(x) Snuck out of the house.(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.( ) Been arrested.( ) Made out with a stranger.(x) Gone on a blind date.(x) Lied to a friend.( ) Had a crush on a teacher.( ) Been to Europe.(x) Skipped school.( ) Seen someone die.( ) Been to Canada.( ) Been to Mexico.(x) Been on a plane.( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.( ) Thrown up in a bar.( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire.(x) Eaten Sushi.(X) Been snowboarding(x) Met someone from the internet in person( ) Been moshing at a concert.( ) Been in an abusive relationship.(x) Taken painkillers.(x) Love someone or miss someone right now.(x) Laid and watched cloud shapes go by.(x) Made a snow angel.( ) Had a tea party.(x) Flown a kite.(x) Built a sand castle.(x) Gone puddle jumping.(x) Played dress up.(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves.(x) Gone sledding.(x) Cheated while playing a game.(x) Been lonely.(x) Fallen asleep at work/school( ) Used a fake ID.(x) Watched the sun set.( ) Felt an earthquake.(x) Touched a snake.( ) Slept beneath the stars.(x) Been tickled.( ) Been robbed.(x) Been misunderstood.(x) Pet a reindeer/goat.(x) Won a contest.( ) Run a red light.( ) Been suspended from school.(x) Been in a car accident.(x) Had braces.(x) Felt like an outcast.( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.(x) Had deja vu.( ) Danced in the moonlight.( ) Hated the way you look.(x) Witnessed a crime.( ) Pole danced.( ) Been obsessed with post-it notes.(x) Walked barefoot through the mud.(x) Been lost.( ) Been to the opposite side of the world.( ) Swam in the ocean.( ) Felt like dying.( )Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers.(x)Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.(x)Sung karaoke(x) Paid for a meal with only coins.(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.(x) Made prank phone calls.(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.( ) Danced in the rain.(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus.(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe.( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about.(x) Blown bubbles.( ) Had a bonfire on the beach.( ) Crashed a party.(x) Gone rollerskating.(x) Had a wish come true.(x) Worn pearls.( ) Jumped off a bridge.( ) Screamed the word penis in public.( ) Ate dog/cat food.( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them.( ) Kissed a mirror.(x) Sang in the shower.( ) Owned a little black dress.(x) Had a dream that you married someone.(x) Glued your hand to something.( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole.( ) Kissed a fish.(x) Worn the opposite sex's clothes.( ) Been a cheerleader.(x) Sat on a roof top.(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.( ) Done a one-handed cartwheel.(x) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours.(x) Stayed up all night.(x) Didn't take a shower for a week( ) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.(x) Climbed a tree.(x) Had a tree house.( ) Are scared to watch scary movies.( ) Believe in ghost.( ) Have more than 30 pairs of shoes.( ) Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say.( ) Gone streaking.(x) Played ding-dong-ditch.(x) Played chicken.(x) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on.(x) Been told you're hot by a complete stranger.( ) Broken a bone.(x) Been easily amused.(x) Caught a fish then ate it.(x) Caught a butterfly.(x) Laughed so hard you cried.( ) Cried so hard you laughed.(x) Mooned/flashed someone.(x) Had someone moon/flash you.(x) Cheated on a test(x) Forgotten someone's name.(x) Slept naked.( ) French braided someone's hair.( ) Grown a beard.( ) Belong to the KKK.( ) In love with an older person(x) Tired of this survey
Well leave some comments, cuz I know there are kool people that always do . Cya later guys!
]]> 2005-09-07 23:35:28 2005-09-08 03:35:28 open Publish post 343536649 hey honey.....when did u wittness a crime??
I LOVE YOU!!!!
]]> 1 2005-09-08 16:56:00 2005-09-08 20:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 673159705 H2holbro22 Tue, 06 Sep 2005 20:02:59 -04:00 Hi. How's it going? I'm gonna write in this while I'm waiting for dinner lol... I had to survive the day by eating a banana, a granola bar, and a Twix. So when i got home, i ate like everything (an entire bag of goldfish crackers, a sandwich, and a hot pocket). I just didnt feel too great today so i hardly ate. I'm getting really sick of hearing Yellowcard lol... that damn violin is getting annoying.
Alright well me and Sarah's 1 month was 2 days ago, how kool is that? We went to Mi Mexico II and hung out. Then yesterday we saw the Dukes of Hazzard and then went back to my house and watched Blue Streak (i love that movie) and then we walked over to Joe's house lol. After me and Sarah hung out, i went to Mejiers with Joe to buy his bro a b-day present. We chose a card out that said "a happy birthday to my favorite granddaughter" or sumthin lol. And we got him Reese Sticks cuz he used to be obsessed with those lol. Btw i got a dvd called Freddy Got Fingered lol. That movie is hilarious cuz Tom Green is in it haha.
Well its time for me to eat dinner! Damn I'm freakin hungry. I have a few more things to say before i go...
I get my drivers license in 4 days!!
Watch out for camels when you're driving around in the dark!
Leave me a lot of comments, thx guys! Cya later!!
]]> 2005-09-06 20:05:19 2005-09-07 00:05:19 open Publish post 342704024 1 2005-09-06 20:09:00 2005-09-07 00:09:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 670027136 1 2005-09-06 20:36:00 2005-09-07 00:36:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 670105393 <3
random comment
hows school?
]]> 1 2005-09-06 21:03:00 2005-09-07 01:03:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 670184335 you know when you get your liscense you're so driving me home sometimes. mhmm. because you love me that much. yes, admit that you do! haha. mmk. that's all i got. <3]]> 1 2005-09-06 21:45:00 2005-09-07 01:45:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 670318186 umm....HELL NO HE AINT DRIVIN U HOME!!!! My fucking boyfriend thank u very much!!! He will be driving ME home.....
im sorry to break it to u baby, but that movie SUX BALLZ!!
but i still fucking love you so much more than u will ever know!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
tell humphry i said wuts up!! lol
]]> 1 2005-09-07 20:20:00 2005-09-08 00:20:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 671902716 H2holbro22 Wed, 31 Aug 2005 22:25:14 -04:00 Hey everyone! First of all, I'm trying to figure out why i have all of these options at the top of this page... i can like change the colors and highlight my writing and stuff lol. Anyways, school has finally started and it's actually going pretty good. Most of my classes are pretty great. The only class that I don't like is algebra 2. It's pretty boring and were doing a lot of graphing calculator stuff. And my spanish name is based off of a very tasty food... NACHO! Yeah lol, lets see here.. I have a government project due on Friday too, and it's gay foreign policies. I dont really know what that is either. Wow this is gonna be a long year lol. Especially with my drawing class... I'm either gonna slack off the whole semester and complain about how my drawings are worse than everyone else's OR ill start to be really good at drawing and impress people with my pictures. It should all be fun tho!
Ok enough school lol! I've been listening to The Used a little and I also got the new Fall Out Boy cd a few days ago. I listen to the old Fall Out Boy cd as much as the new one... in fact, I think the old one is better than the new one! Cuz it has Grand Theft Autumn and Dead On Arrival and a whole bunch of other kickass songs. You should get the cd if you don't already have it.
I had my last in-car today and the damn instructor was 30 minutes late! She picked me up from school and she blamed me for being on the student pick-up side of the school. What a fuckin retard... she wanted to pick me up on the bus side of the school. Oh well, I'm tired so I'll stop here. Leave me some comments, cya!
]]> 2005-08-31 22:25:14 2005-09-01 02:25:14 open Publish post 338808565 i talked to you today while you were waiting for your in-car. but yeah, it was cool finally getting to talk to you for once since i only see you a couple times during the day. mhmm. i liked your shirt. just thought i would let you know. haha. i'm really random. it's like 12:30am. i should be sleeping, but i can't because i fell asleep when i came home from school. plus, i've still got some spanish homework to finish up.
haha your spanish name is nacho?! some kid in our class chose that & our teacher was like, if he picks that name, you have to promise not to laugh every time i say it. lol. it's dumb but yeah. my spanish name is catalina. how, hot? lol. but yeah.
i love you cristoffer! yes, that's how i want to spell your name so DEAL!
mmk. byee! <3
]]> 1 2005-09-01 00:33:00 2005-09-01 04:33:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 659836765 1 2005-09-01 14:46:00 2005-09-01 18:46:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 660412506 ]]> 1 2005-09-03 13:06:00 2005-09-03 17:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 663746757 1 2005-09-04 17:18:00 2005-09-04 21:18:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 665878093 I know I few people at Central. Who do you know at North?]]> 1 2005-09-05 11:23:00 2005-09-05 15:23:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 667148961 I know all of them... except the Amanda girl. From central I know Sara Frye, Jenny Yan, I knew Luke, and some others that went to my Middle School and stuff.]]> 1 2005-09-05 12:10:00 2005-09-05 16:10:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 667241044 1 2005-09-05 12:42:00 2005-09-05 16:42:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 667306392 1 2005-09-05 17:47:00 2005-09-05 21:47:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 667892819 uhh.. lauren stopped taking spanish. heh.
Donde esta mi pantalones?
Dos gatos in sus zapatos.
]]> 1 2005-09-06 19:18:00 2005-09-06 23:18:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 669885645 H2holbro22 Tue, 23 Aug 2005 23:11:33 -04:00 Hey everyone. Here's just a quick update to tell all of you my schedule becuz I'm getting tired of typing it out to everyone lol. So check it out and comment me if you have a class with me or something. Alright!SEMESTER 1
1- Spanish 3
2-US Government 2
3- Contemporary Lit.
4- Lunch
5-Algebra 2
6- Drawing 1
7- Ecology
8- Study Hall
SEMESTER 2
1- Spanish 3
2- Contemporary Lit.
3-Contemporary Lit. (again?)
4- Lunch
5- Algebra 2
6- Health
7- Ecology
8- US Government 1
Yeah my schedule is pretty screwed up. But anyways, comment me if you have a class with me... or better yet, lunch! Becuz most of my friends are in a different lunch period than me and it SUCKS! Cya later!
]]> 2005-08-23 22:39:06 2005-08-24 02:39:06 open Publish post 333393266 1 2005-08-23 23:05:00 2005-08-24 03:05:00 CrazzyRaz2007 [email protected] http://crazzyraz2007.xanga.com/ 0 18657764 0 644916663 nope.. lauren has 5th period lunch..
and easy classes.
]]> 1 2005-08-23 23:15:00 2005-08-24 03:15:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 644940129 ah! ill be at north for the first semester. and the second semester we have ONE thing together -FIRST PERIOD!-
and the class we do got together, we cant speak ENGLISH!! lmao.
<3
]]> 1 2005-08-24 02:06:00 2005-08-24 06:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 645171399 Hey... random props, random comment. I was going thru the central blogring and came across your page. ((I'll be a freshman next year)).
Ha, love your taste in music, btw.
<333 Sydney
]]> 1 2005-08-24 13:19:00 2005-08-24 17:19:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 645614832 Even though things have been said and done w/e.Here for anyone out there who thinks I like chris just so you all know I dont.I DID think of him as my best friend and that was all.you can have feelings and love someone as nothing but a 100% awesome friend without it meaning anything but that...a friendship.Now that its no longer there those of you that wanted it like that can be happy.As for you chris thanks for standing by me in the times when you did.You were a great friend!]]> 1 2005-08-29 13:34:00 2005-08-29 17:34:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 654705009 1 2005-08-29 16:42:00 2005-08-29 20:42:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 654964300 H2holbro22 Tue, 16 Aug 2005 00:36:41 -04:00 Hola everyone. It's update time! Well I'll give a summary of my past few days. Sarah came back from New York on Sunday so we went to the fair for a while. It felt so good to see her again! We didn't go on any rides becuz they were kinda lame lol, but we walked around inside this building that had like everything in it. It was pretty neat becuz they had lots of random "products" on display. This one lady even offered to make rub Sarah's feet lol . And I got myself a pimped out plastic sheriff badge! Oh yeah!! Yeah the fair was fun tho. Then today was pretty boring during the day, but later on during the night, I went to Sarah's house for like 2 hours then we went to BW3's for a while. There were like 10 people there that I didn't know, but I still had fun. One kid even ate 12 hot wings in less than 5 minutes and he won a T-shirt lol. I ordered 8 boneless wings and I ate 1 really hot wing.. my lips still burn after 2 hours lol. And best of all, NBC 4 was there and supposedly were gonna be on TV later. I think they were there becuz of the smoking bans in restaurants. I was only TV one time before that lol... I did a commercial for the Bowling Palace when I was in 3rd grade and they gave me a damn mini chocolate bowling pin for all of that! I hope their business goes into bankruptcy! After BW3's we went to Kroger so all of the Kroger people could check their schedules and mess around in the finger condom/KY jelly/laxitive isle lol. Yeahh..
Anyways, I guess school is right around the corner and I gotta get school supplies! I even convinced my mom that I'm gonna need an iPod b4 school starts lol, so I might get one tomorrow with this $160 voucher I have. I will have to find a way to cram all of my songs onto that thing lol. Ok well I'm to sleep or something right now cuz I'm really bored. Leave some comments! Cya later!
]]> 2005-08-16 00:36:41 2005-08-16 04:36:41 open Publish post 327918781 oh wow its chris!
golly gee its getting late...
wow im so bored.. umm. hi!
]]> 1 2005-08-16 04:04:00 2005-08-16 08:04:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 629800976 1 2005-08-16 16:22:00 2005-08-16 20:22:00 n1ckd33s [email protected] http://n1ckd33s.xanga.com/ 0 11164525 0 630590370 1 2005-08-17 15:46:00 2005-08-17 19:46:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 632558383 1 2005-08-18 17:43:00 2005-08-18 21:43:00 TraiIsMyName [email protected] http://traiismyname.xanga.com/ 0 15300814 0 634768991 1 2005-08-19 22:35:00 2005-08-20 02:35:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 637191636 1 2005-08-23 02:53:00 2005-08-23 06:53:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 643253581 H2holbro22 Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:52:31 -04:00 Hey everyone! So it's been about 6 days since I last updated.. i think. Right now I'm just eating bagel bites, listening to music, and writing in this lol. This week is going so damn slow. Sarah has been in New York for a week already... and she gets back on Sunday. It sucks to wait for so long...I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER! I wanna see her so badly... but were gonna go to the fair on Sunday, which is the last day. It will be awesome, but I hope it doesn't rain or something. I could've swore the fair was open until around the 20th.
Alright so basically I gotta get my temps renewed and then I can get my driver's license next month! After I take my tests of course. And I'm filling out an application for Pet Supplies Plus, yeahhh! I think it would be fun to work there.. i don't know why, but I really need a job. In fact, I went bowling yesterday and I didn't have enough cash so I had to count out a bunch of quarters to pay lol. It was pretty funny. Oh yeah, and I'm back in my workout routine so I'm not as bored anymore!
Ok.. STORY TIME!! Once upon a time, there were 3 kids... their names were Chris, Joe, and David. They got bored one day and decided to ride their bikes to Academy Park. They rode around on the dirt ramps for a while and then David had to go becuz he had work. Chris and Joe found a path shortly after that and followed it. While they were on the path, they spotted some hillybilly people swimming in the river . Their dog was with them and once the dog saw Chris and Joe, it got out of the water and jumped all over Chris with its muddy paws. Luckily, Chris and Joe escaped and continued on the path. Eventually, they ended up in a neighborhood and kept on going farther and farther until they reached Stygler Rd. They kept going until they saw a building that said "Huntington Banks". Then they realized that they were at the Huntington building in Easton! It took 2 hours for them to get that far so they decided to ride back home in amazement. On their ride home, they saw a girl who looked like Chubakah, so they really hurried home. They reached their own neighborhood in about 2 hours, but they were exhausted as hell so they went home. THE END!!
Ok well I made my xanga look a little kooler and I added about 5 songs to the stereo thing so CHECK THEM OUT!!! And I gotta go now so be sure to leave me some comments lol! Thx guys, cya later!
]]> 2005-08-11 15:52:31 2005-08-11 19:52:31 open Publish post 324806342 1 2005-08-12 11:56:00 2005-08-12 15:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622476004 1 2005-08-12 11:58:00 2005-08-12 15:58:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622479418 1 2005-08-13 19:31:00 2005-08-13 23:31:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 625068237 1 2005-08-13 21:06:00 2005-08-14 01:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 625210246 wow bout 3 of those entrys r from ur gf.. nice..lol hey man.. that story was off da chain lol well man im out.. call sumtime so we can fuckin hang out.. wanna play sum halo? yeah lets play sum halo.. WELL CMON .. OMG GGGGRRRR ARRGGG..lol my phone.. that was hillarious.. JASON HURRY THE FUCK UP WIT THAT SHIT..lmao good times bro.. aight after makin a huge fool of my self.. im gonna go.. later bro
David
]]> 1 2005-08-14 01:32:00 2005-08-14 05:32:00 WNHSgangsta22 [email protected] http://wnhsgangsta22.xanga.com/ 0 8985485 0 625709980 1 2005-08-15 03:08:00 2005-08-15 07:08:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 627652557 H2holbro22 Sat, 13 Aug 2005 15:14:47 -04:00 Hey guys! I'm updating this again, wow go me! Alright so basically the past two days have been pretty great. It all started yesterday night when I went to BW3's with David, Christina, and her friend Sarah. We just chilled there and had food... obviously lol. Then we rented Freddy Got Fingered and The Exorcist and went to Christina's house. Well, I liked Sarah ever since I first saw her and everything...she is really nice too! So then we all watched the movie lol. Freddy Got Fingered is one of the funniest movies ever omg, you guys gotta see it! Well we got half way thru the movie before we had to leave So then we all gave our goodbyes, then David drove me back to my house. After that, we all joined a chat room cuz Sarah was sleeping over at Christina's house and we all wanted to talk. At 3:00, David snuck out and we were planning on riding my sister's electric scooter around the block just for fun lol. But it wouldnt start so we went pegging around the block a few times.
Ok well anyways, we planned to go to the pool around noon the next day, so I had to wake up at 10:00... I don't know how I pulled it off lol. Well since I havent been swimming in forever, I forgot about how small my swimming trunks would be... wow, they went up about half a foot above my kneecap lol. So I gotta buy new swimming trunks lmao... and we didnt go to the pool so we all went over to Christina's house again, ordered pizza and I got to see Sarah! And this time, I knew Sarah liked me back so I felt so much more comfortable around her. Ok we watched the rest of Freddy Got Fingered, then some of The Exorcist (omg that movie sucked), we watched like 1/10 of The Notebook, then some of Mean Girls. Stupid chick flicks lol! But it wasnt that bad at all. After Christina's house, I went to Hometown Buffet with David's family and ate lots of food. Then me, David, Sarah, Christina, Brice, Hilary, and Kris went to BW3's after that. I couldn't eat anything there tho lol cuz i was already full. Here I'll just list the random events that happened here becuz it would take me forever to explain all of them lol.... Brice stuck celery up his nose, sneezed it out, and ate it! We were bothered by a drunk nurse in the parking lot! We drove around the plaza while Kris hung on the back of the van while riding on a skateboard! Those are the main weird things that happened lol. Then after that, David dropped Hilary off and then he was gonna drop me off after that. By that time, I liked Sarah so much that I asked her out before I went inside. And now we are going out... and I'm really really happy! She is going on a trip to New York 2morrow at 4:00 so were trying to go see a movie before she leaves... wow a whole week without seeing her will be hard to deal with lol. Ok well I'm gonna go cuz I wanna be able to wake up early 2morrow. Ill cya around ppl and please leave some comments guys!
]]> 2005-08-05 03:10:27 2005-08-05 07:10:27 open Publish post 320217501 im happy for you.
rawr.
]]> 1 2005-08-05 09:12:00 2005-08-05 13:12:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 608008544 <3]]> 1 2005-08-05 09:15:00 2005-08-05 13:15:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 608011249 1 2005-08-05 21:52:00 2005-08-06 01:52:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 609300599 1 2005-08-06 03:13:00 2005-08-06 07:13:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 609835131 well ttyl,~Trai "The MasterPiece" Brown~]]> 1 2005-08-06 03:51:00 2005-08-06 07:51:00 TraiIsMyName [email protected] http://traiismyname.xanga.com/ 0 15300814 0 609858648 1 2005-08-07 22:54:00 2005-08-08 02:54:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 612900203 1 2005-08-12 12:01:00 2005-08-12 16:01:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622484831 H2holbro22 Mon, 01 Aug 2005 01:23:25 -04:00 Hey guys! I know it takes me forever to update this thing, but you gotta understand that sometimes its boring to update lol. Well not much has changed here... yesterday was fun as hell tho. First of all, David's family was out of town so me and Joe stayed overnight there. Without parents... you can do ANYTHING! So thats what we did. We got some TP and tried to get one of our friends, but are plans got spoiled thanks to the fuckin dogs lol. Ok but David was driving us down Sunbury Rd and he is barely going over the speed limit when he passes a cop car lol... then we look in the rearview mirror and we see the cops lights start flashing! Luckily the left and right lanes were separated by concrete things. So we turned into a street and parked and then everything was fine. Basically we just messed around outside all night. In the morning around 10, we went to Krogers and got some waffles and whipped cream... has anyone had blueberry waffles w/ whipped cream? It's pretty good.
Friday sucked ass lol cuz my dad was moving and I had to help him move everything into a U-Haul truck and then take it to the new apartment. It wasn't hard at all, but I did it from 10:00 to 3:00 without eating anything. AND it was so damn boring. It was kinda funny though cuz my dad told me to watch my step while I was putting the coach in the truck and he hit his head on the top of the truck like 5 seconds later lol. And today, I fell asleep during the day!! And right when I fell asleep... my dad came over and woke me up and said "I need you to help me move some more things" blahh blah blah.. thats the worst way to wake up lol.
Yeah I made another mix cd with lots of kool songs including this techno remix to Yeah which is SO AWESOME!!! It has so much bass that you gotta hold on to the handles on the car just to sit still. If I ever find out how to upload music, then I'll put it on my xanga but I dont know how. PLEASE tell me if you know how. Speaking of music, I've been listening to the old Fall Out Boy cd and it's really awesome so everyone should listen to it! I'm gonna get the new one soon.. yeah. Ok that should be enough for now! LeAvE sOmE cOmMeNtS plzzzz!!
]]> 2005-08-01 01:23:25 2005-08-01 05:23:25 open Publish post 317185331 You didn't do it you dork!! I'm sad now! oh well ill be over it in like a sec....well im getting ready to go to practice so ill have to talk to you later
rachael mae
]]> 1 2005-08-01 09:24:00 2005-08-01 13:24:00 bananas_r_yummy [email protected] http://bananas-r-yummy.xanga.com/ 0 14989642 0 599453618 1 2005-08-02 03:03:00 2005-08-02 07:03:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 601413433 HEY CHRiS! i HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU iN FOREVER!!!!! WE NEED TO HANG OUT AGAiN! WELL COMMENT BACK iF YOU WANT!!!
<33 KATiE
]]> 1 2005-08-02 20:57:00 2005-08-03 00:57:00 kAtE0143 [email protected] http://kate0143.xanga.com/ 0 6045670 0 602853986 1 2005-08-04 21:33:00 2005-08-05 01:33:00 BestSisters22 [email protected] http://bestsisters22.xanga.com/ 0 15489530 0 607218648 1 2005-08-06 23:26:00 2005-08-07 03:26:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 611171248 H2holbro22 Fri, 22 Jul 2005 04:09:43 -04:00 YEAHHHH!! I fixed the damn comment thing so you can all send me comments again. I found out that the poll thing was causing the problem... I'll get it back eventually but not right now. Wow me and David just snuck out of the house and right when I walked out the door, we saw and heard the sirens of a cop car from behind 2 houses! It's bad enough that wre not allowed outside, but the cop car was speeding thru our neighborhood for some reason lol. Let's see... I'll talk a little about how things are goin now... well I started driving school 2 weeks ago and it's really boring. I have to go 2 days per week, 4 hours each day. Next week is my last week! Driver's ed isnt really that bad cuz I met some new peeps that I can talk to whenever. I went to Cedar Point again for 1 day too, this time it was for my dad's company picnic. Remember how Cedar Point was awesome for me last time? This time it was living hell lol. Hold on, lemme get my list of all the bad things... ok
1) I had 2 hours of sleep... thats my own fault i guess lol.
2) I had a headache that lasted from the night before thru the whole day.
3) It decided to rain nonstop the WHOLE time we were there.
4) The lines were packed to the edges so we didnt get to go on any rides at all.
5) The free food was disgusting.
6) We spent more time driving there and back than we spent in the park itself, so its basically a waste of time.
Lol thats mainly all. Wow I'm really lazy lol. That's why I wanna drive SOOO bad. And to kill some time and earn some money, I'm actually trying to get a job at Pet Supplies Plus!!!!!! Yes now doesnt that sound like a great place to work?? You get to move dog food and other things all day and its the only place hiring that is half decent lol. Well it's definitly 4 in the morning right now so I'm gonna get to bed. Me and Josh stayed up last night chilling so I'm really tired. Btw before I go, I have something for everyone who likes Trapt... theyre coming out with a new cd in September and they released 1 main song... its awesome and its called Stand Up. I tryed to find it EVERYWHERE, but the only place I can find it is http://www.trapt.com/ . You can listen to the song over and over if you stay on there. Yeah well with that, I'm out! I'm gonna take a new pic once I get my dad's camera too so that will be kool. Cya later everyone!!!
]]> 2005-07-22 04:09:43 2005-07-22 08:09:43 open Publish post 310298168 1 2005-07-23 20:25:00 2005-07-24 00:25:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 583261575 1 2005-07-24 00:13:00 2005-07-24 04:13:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 583635164 haha. ill c ya around. bye chris i heart u like a brother!!!!]]> 1 2005-07-24 00:45:00 2005-07-24 04:45:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 583692433 hi chris.
sounds like a drag.
woo!
]]> 1 2005-07-25 10:18:00 2005-07-25 14:18:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 585795457 dude if you want a new awesome song check out WALKING DEAD by DJ Z TRIP and CHESTER BENNINGTON
Its my favorite song right now
and yeah my internet did fuck up for awhile, that sucked a ton of balls
]]> 1 2005-07-26 14:56:00 2005-07-26 18:56:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 588376996 1 2005-07-28 19:05:00 2005-07-28 23:05:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 593053176 hey chirs whats up nuttin here well just thought id leave you one ttyl
love you like friend
rachael mae
]]> 1 2005-08-01 00:49:00 2005-08-01 04:49:00 bananas_r_yummy [email protected] http://bananas-r-yummy.xanga.com/ 0 14989642 0 599124121 H2holbro22 Tue, 19 Jul 2005 14:52:50 -04:00 2005-07-19 14:52:50 2005-07-19 18:52:50 open Publish post 308366547 hey man heres a comment]]> 1 2005-07-22 03:23:00 2005-07-22 07:23:00 WNHSgangsta22 [email protected] http://wnhsgangsta22.xanga.com/ 0 8985485 0 580548276 H2holbro22 Mon, 11 Jul 2005 15:10:06 -04:00 Hey people! It's 2:22 right now and just woke up lol. Yeah I have a reason for going to bed so late last night. Ok listen up... I have a story to tell everyone lol. But remember... all of this is not to be told to anyone cuz it might cycle back to the victim. Ok well last night I'm just sitting on the computer listening to music and talking on AIM. Then David IMs me and tells me to meet him outside because Brian just got TPed. So I set everything up in the house to look like I'm asleep, grab the Cheezits, and then I sneak out. I walked down to Brian's house to see Brian and Joe in Joe's car. They told us that they found out who TPed him because they saw them drive away and yell something that obviously gave themselves away. Even though you need to be 18 to drive outside at 2:00, we got in Joe's car and decided to help Brian get revenge. We drove towards Kroger (I can't forget to mention the Rumpke truck that almost backed up into us. So we drove by him... Joe waved to him while I flicked him off lol). Once we were at Kroger, David and Brian ran inside and bought 48 rolls of TP. Ha you dont wanna know the excuse we had for buying all of that TP. Anyways, Joe drove to one of the kids houses (a kid that helped TP Brian) and we started throwing TP all over the trees and bushes. Me and David TPed the backyard while Joe and Brian TPed the front yard. Eventually, they came into the backyard and Brian was like, "Dude this isn't the right house... there isn't a basketball hoop in the front!" So were like damn...so we grabbed as much TP as possible from house and moved to the RIGHT house. That's where we seriously trashed the house up lol. We had a lot of spare TP so I even put some in their weeds. When we were done, it was like 3:15 and we weren't satisfied... so we got back in the car and drove to Meijer, and bought 48 more rolls of TP! By the way, the same kid who we TPed, called Brian's cell and asked him who the hell TPed his house. The kid got home right after we TPed him luckily lol... but Brian denied it anyways. Then we went to another kid's house and got ready to TP him. But thats when we noticed that the gas tank was empty...so we drove away and barely made it to a gas station. Since no1 else was on the road at that time, Joe turns the wrong way and starts driving on the complete wrong side of the road... it was hilarious. But then we go back to the kids house with a 1/4 tank of gas. This kid's house had so many trees so it was perfect to TP. So we TPed his house pretty bad and left. It was about 4 by this time so we decided to go back home before it got any later. Joe dropped everyone off at their houses, but I went to Joe's house for a sec so I could help him get out of trouble if his parent's were awake. Yeah and we also woke Ryan up so we could say Hi to him. After that, I left and ran home to my house and snuck back inside... my damn cat was meowing up a storm while I was opening the door tho. Basically, we got revenge x2 on them lol. But we also made some more targets that we are going after soon lol... so WATCH OUT!! nah j/k we usually only get people who go after us first. Well guys, I gotta go to an orthodontist appointment... I think I get to stop wearing my retainer! lol hopefully, but then after that I am starting my driving courses. So leave me some comments or something guys! Cya around!]]> 2005-07-11 15:10:06 2005-07-11 19:10:06 open Publish post 302630331 1 2005-07-11 20:09:00 2005-07-12 00:09:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 560685777 H2holbro22 Sun, 10 Jul 2005 00:19:53 -04:00 Hola! I know I never write in my xanga... sorry about that. And btw, there's no way in hell that I'm gonna write an entry as long as that last one ever again lol. Unless I go somewhere else and have a lot to say... but anyways, how is everyone doing? I haven't been doing much lately. I wish I could drive but I gotta wait until October to get my license. Fortunatly, I am starting my driving courses on Monday, so I can get that out of the way. I want to get a Tiburon too... its about $25k though so I may as well give it up lol. I also want to get a job and I cant get one because I can't drive there Oh well I guess I have a few more months to be lazy and do whatever else I want lol. I might even get to go to Cedar Point again on Friday because of my dad's company picnic.Usually they go to Wyandot Lake or King's Island, but Cedar Point is much better.
I really don't feel like writing, but I'll end this off with a fact... if you think you aren't afraid of anything, then try driving in the car with Joe! He made some awesome illegal turns and used a turning lane to pass up a car! Me and Joe can both be wreckless once I get my driver's license lol... I seem to forget about the speed limit from time to time. It's funny tho. Ok well I'm gonna go drink some more limeade lol. That stuff is really good and its better than lemonade. Cya later guys and girls!
BTW... THE GUYS CANT BE THE BEST PART ABOUT SUMMER!!! I cant believe the poll is getting taken over like that. Oh well, keep on voting and we will see what happens...
]]> 2005-07-10 00:20:26 2005-07-10 04:20:26 open Publish post 301539685 1 2005-07-10 00:29:00 2005-07-10 04:29:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 557453187 1 2005-07-10 18:03:00 2005-07-10 22:03:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 558446010
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Top of 2019
With 56 films watched and 27 favorited in 2019, I composed a list of my top. By pure happenstance, the list is almost an exact third (18) of the total films watched. Be aware that I don’t have as much to say about some of these because I took no notes after.
Because I’d be biased towards them, I don’t count the National Theatre Live plays.
Since the list is likely to be altered between now and the end of February (to accommodate for films missed), check the Lettboxd list later on to see an up to date listing, but be aware that it intentionally lacks the details provided here.
EDIT (01/04/20):
Woke up this morning religiously re-reading this and caught some grammar errors. It’s almost like staying consistently well-rested is actually beneficial.
While I’m at it, Blind Rating (BR) is how worthwhile the film is watching “blind” (or knowing nothing). The scale is 1 (worth it) to 5 (you must). ‘Eh is essentially a 0.5.
1. Midsommar (USA)
Saw the original and Director's Cut in theatres and discussed them with a group immediately after both times. I’m somewhere between really liking it and loving it. Still unsure. Hell of an experience with a lot to notice, debate over, and pick up on during the second viewing. Don’t even get me started on the Christian/Dani matter. Dat tension, tho.
Blind Rating: 4/5
2. Us (USA)
Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I’m digging the allegories and the way (I think) it reflects on society. Dem reveals, tho.
Blind Rating: 4/5
3. Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am (USA)
Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. Two things probably play a huge hand in this not being atleast 3 spots lower: my demographic and the fact that her older self constantly reminded me of my grandma and a certain middle school teacher. Regardless, it’s an entertaining, interesting, and lively documentary with its many personalities on-screen all giving their take on matters along with Ms. Morrison herself. Glad they managed to finish and release this 1.25 months before her death.
Blind Rating: 0/5
4. When They See Us (USA)
Saw on Netflix over the course of a month. Y’all, this one hurt too much to watch again any time soon. Admittedly, part of the reason why it hit me so hard is because I could easily have been one of them. Dat ending, tho. Don’t forget to watch the Oprah followup When They See Us Now after. You’ll ball (again).
Blind Rating: 3/5
5. Parasite (South Korea)
Saw an advance screening in theatres and watched a live post-film Q&A. I really like it. This hit me in such a way that it’s one of three films I’m writing an essay on. Planing on watching it a second time soon so I can finish with a sense of accuracy. This isn’t one that I would recommend looking at images for. There are some that will spoil the experience of the second half. Seriously, block the “Parasite” tag from your feed if you can.
Blind Rating: 3/5
6. Luce (USA)
Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. This was is so~ good as a thriller and especially in regards to being Black in America. Wanted to watch it a second time but never managed to squeeze it in before it left theatres. Dem performances, tho. Dat tension, yo. Dat score, bro.
Blind Rating: 1/5
7. Them That Follow (USA)
Saw in theatres and discussed with someone immediately after. I love it.
Blind Rating: 1/5
A drama influenced thriller about a religious and somewhat self-isolating community that's effectively blanketing a realistic romance. (snip) —Letterboxd review
8. The Souvenir (United Kingdom)
Saw in theatres (partially because so many movie peeps were shitting on it). I love it, but I didn't fucking love it. Was tempted to see it again, but didn’t get the chance. Dat ending, tho. While it was a movie peep telling me the whole plot that caused me to gain so much interest in it [Cabin in the Woods (2011) all over again, amiright?], I must say that the less you know the better. It’ll make for... a more immersive experience.
Blind Rating: 3/5
9. After the Wedding (USA)
Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I thought I really liked it, but I love it. This was a trip down unexpected lane, le'me tell ya. The trailer is a spoilerful lie, but the Landmark's description is very accurate. People's experiences will have a heavy hand in how they react to it and feel about certain characters. The way they made this feel like a constant thriller was excellently done. Dat cinematography, tho. Go in knowing nothing more than what the previous link provides.
Blind Rating: 1/5
10. Joker (USA)
Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I really like it.
Blind Rating: 1/5
(slight spoilers)
This was difficult to watch at times, but hella captivating throughout. Arthur's reasoning is believable, his sanity is questionable, and his life is indeed one hell of a joke. Like watching an extreme example of what happens when people on the lower end lose access to social programs. This can very easily be taken as a commentary on mental illness kept unchecked. More than that, it's a story about a guy who accepts his "crazy" and transcends poverty, circumstance, and societal bullshit... at everyone else's expense. (snip) —Letterboxd review
11. Miles Davis: Birth of the Cool (USA)
Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I really like it. Captivating documentary in a very similar style to Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am, but with Mr. Davis never joining the “talking heads” (as people like to call it) and instead being heard as a constant narrator of his own biography. Regardless of how I feel about him on a personal level, this shit was a great watch and the ending hit hard. Still need to get his autobiography, though. There’s a nostalgic factor for me here since I was partially reminded of my grandpa while watching it.
Blind Rating: 'eh
12. Queen & Slim (USA)
Saw in theatres and discussed with someone immediately after. Fuck yeah, I enjoyed this one. Dat soundtrack and cinematography, bruh? 👌🏿 The throwback soundtrack, main characters’ racial group, and fact that they went to New Orleans definitely play a hand in why this one’s not atleast 1 spot lower.
Blind Rating: 1/5
13. Dwelling in the Fuchon Mountains (China)
Saw in theatres during festival and attended discussion days later. I really like it. Was long, but in a good way. Similar to Ash is Purest White (2018) in that I kept thinking "please end here," but would be glad it didn't later. It's beautifully slothy and has absurdly long tracking shots. The cinematography during walking conversations is notable. Dat trick, tho.
Blind Rating: 'eh
14. A Girl Missing (Japan)
Saw in theatres during festival and discussed with a group immediately after. Bruh~, this is a hell of a personal trial. Didn’t expect it to go the places it did.
Blind Rating: 1/5
15. Dutch Angle: Chas Gerretsen & Apocalypse Now (Netherlands)
Saw on MUBI on phone. I love it. This goes over his childhood (for 8 minutes), career paths, photography of 9/11/1973's Chilean coup d'etat, the 6 months he spent on-set photographing Apocalypse Now (1979), and him as a person. What I didn’t expect was how much he would get into the details of things happening during that film’s development. Along with those details are interesting photos presented excellently in a way that’s reminiscent of manga at times. I like the way the photos take center point and are treated like the foreground. It’s like the director and editor forced themselves to remain aware that the documentary was showcasing 15% of the total slides housed in the Nederlands Fotomuseum’s archives in Rotterdam and that most of his Apocalypse Now photos were never seen. Dat score, tho [Ex Machina (2014) vibes].
Blind Rating: 0/5
BTW, it had its official (Dutch national) release by EYE Filmmuseum on 12/19/19 in the Netherlands, so maybe it’ll come to the USA soon. 🤷🏿♂️ Forgot to mention it’s been added as a special feature to the 40th anniversary 4K blu-ray disc of Apocalypse Now: Final Cut (2019).
16. Receiver (Ireland)
Saw on MUBI on phone. I really like it. A very interesting short film in three odd segments. First was disturbing; second was about activism, protests, and politics; third was about the person I assume the film was made for. All compose what I took as a film about the importance of having reliable sound and hearing. Needs to be watched alone with good sound quality (for immersion).
Blind Rating: 'eh
17. Bacurau (Brazil)
Saw in theatres during festival. I really like it. This was some Most Dangerous Game shit with a hell of an ending. The whole game is an allegory of civilized people's obsession with hunting wild animals for "sport". I really like the portrayal of history here and enjoyed the racial matters it lays bare. I can only imagine someone watching this without knowing a thing. Kinda wish I didn’t even read the description beforehand. Digging the soundtrack.
Blind Rating: 1/5
18. Little Women (USA)
Saw on 35mm and discussed with others on separate occasions. I really like it. This was just warming and sad. I felt for the main characters and actually felt satisfied with the way it ended. Considering the type of film, there are handful of typical things for me to complain about. That being said, the movie earned its stars back. I mean, did you not see their attic performances? Shit was dope.
Blind Rating: ‘eh
#2019#top of#favorite films#i love it#i really like it#Ireland#Netherlands#Japan#China#Brazil#United Kingdom#USA
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I finally made my own tumblr and i feel pretty happy bcuz im finally letting others see my writing but i wanted to know what you did for your stories to like, “get out there?” Btw i LOVE your stories im a new fan of EXO and ur stories r amazing keep it up!!
hi there. welcome to tumblr! thats so exciting! i hope youre enjoying your time here! im going to preface everything i say by advising a few things.
firstly that i dont consider myself an ‘out there’ blog. im exceptionally proud of the amount of followers i have, even though the number itself is different depending on perspective. to some, this number is remarkably small. to others, this number is enormous. and the amount of readership that occurs on my fics really doesnt match up the to the numbers the way you think it would. so when you say ‘out there’ just keep in mind this is really...dependent on so many factors and depends on your own personal definition of what that means.
second, the things i list that were part of my experience may not work for you or match up to your experience. theres really no algorithm or formula anyone can give. so again, you can take all of this with a grain of salt.
- make use of tags and tag appropriately. when youre starting from 0 (as everyone on this website does) the first and primary way you get any of your writing out to the public (beyond...posting it lmao) is tagging. only the first five tags show up in searches when youre tagging on tumblr, so keep that in mind when you consider how many networks (ill discuss those later) you want to join. keep your tags relevant to what youve written, things like ‘member smut’ or ‘member fluff’ usually draws in a crowd. when i first started hero, i was tagging with ‘chanyeol x reader’ and ‘chanyeol scenario’ and those pulled in a bunch of readers too (that was 2 years ago tho, so idk how much a scenario tag pulls in anymore)
- post in multiple places. i have an AO3 and a tumblr. most writers cross post to ao3 and tumblr, but others also have an asian fan fics account or a wattpad account (this is usually to prevent people plagiarizing on there). but most writers i know (tbh i think all) post in at least two separate places.
- join a network. networks are so great for getting your work out there when you dont have a lot of followers or are new and dont have a lot of readership. theres so many out there you can join - some are specific to band and others are multi-fandom and only require that you be writing for kpop. my recommendation is to join two or three, because these networks will always require you use their tag in the first five. this is because the only way they will find your work to reblog it is by searching it, so tagging for two main tags and two networks is a surefire way to get your writing to the right people.
- talk to other writers/blogs. send asks, play ask games with them, tag them in things you know they like (example, even if i dont follow you but you tag me in something related to chanyeol i will always respond). leave feedback on their work. reblog their work and tag it well - either with your keysmash reaction, your thoughts, or your feelings. whatever you give into the community will come back to you.
***HOWEVER, i will say that dont be discouraged if writers dont reply right away. sometimes tumblr eats asks, deletes messages, or doesnt let them show up until the person can get to a computer. furthermore, most writers on here have regular jobs or families, so the time theyre on tumblr is very limited. and even more than that, theres a big question of age. for me personally, if i can tell a person is quite young or under the age of 18, i am less likely to fully go back and forth in banter with them because i am considerably older than that and thats inappropriate. im just pointing this out because i dont want you sending messages and getting discouraged if someone doesnt reply. theres a lot of reasons someone might not reply, and it may have nothing to do with you or be relate to something within your control.
- if youre a new writer, join a beta network. theres networks out there where people willingly volunteer to beta writing, and you can also apply to be a beta. this helps improve your writing, which will help draw more readers, and will also create a community/friendship around you and your beta team.
- make a masterlist, even if you only have 1 written item. masterlists help people new to your blog see what you have written, find it, and read it OR see what you want to write. example: if youre writing for exo and you have a list for the entire band, ill assume that at some point youll write for chanyeol even if you only have a link for jongdae. make a masterlist and link it in your bio for easy access.
ok so thats...bare minimum how you get your writing out and circulating and possibly generating a community for you to engage with. but its really important for me to say the following:
if you are walking into this with an expectation that you will soon receive recognition or feedback or a large amount of notes, please please restructure this. in my years on this site, i have seen so many writers come and go because they start writing solely for the notes or the feedback. thats not a sustainable goal and it will suck the pleasure out of writing really really quickly. its so easy to get discouraged if you dont think youre achieving some arbitrary number that tumblr itself messes with just by changing rules or guidelines or the way posts show up on a dash.
instead, challenge yourself to write things that interest you or to write different things within your stories. things like ‘i want to write a fantasy’ ‘i want to write a 5 part mini series’ ‘i want to write an angsty drabble.’ when you approach writing from this perspective, it keeps you consistent and motivated with your goals. and it also, believe it or not, make your writing come from a genuine place of love rather than a place of wanting interaction. readers can tell when someone genuinely loves what they write and when someone is just checking boxes they think will bring in feedback.
also - please know that getting your writing out there is very much a ‘rome wasnt built in a day’ kind of vibe. ive been on this website for 2 years and there have been months where my notes and follower count is barely moving, and others where i feel like i get 200 followers in a week or hundreds of notes on something id posted a year ago. you cannot predict how long it will take for people to see your work, the only thing you can predict is that it will take time. honestly, again ive been here for two years and im still a pretty small blog. theres no magic formula to this.
i hope all this helps!
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A Statement
Hello everyone!
You may have come here in curiosity of what I posted on the Moon Guard Secrets Tumblr in regards to Niklos Adamant and “my involvement” with the horrific situation that has been brought to light recently. First and foremost, as you can see, I generally do not use Tumblr so please so forgive my formatting. Secondly, I must express that I am saddened, angry, frustrated, and just about every negative emotion in the book every time I think of this story. To have me tied into it makes it all the worse.
As I said on the MGS post, I am Nevari, though I have been also known as Redmayne (whom Niklos has named me as being involved and yet again, not a shroud of evidence backing such claims) but more importantly, Janessa, the former GM of the guild, Whispers of Windrunner. These current days I am pretty much off playing other games or being involved with different communities because of the results I suffered from the malicious slander I have endured from Niklos along with several other people. This post is to simply back my own words up and well, hope that the community finally realize how scummy these people are.
Now, I will state this situation was about 2-3 years ago to my recollection. Around that time, I was playing my death knight, Redmayne who unfortunately was a part of the Remnants of Lordaeron guild. Ultimately, the guild was not a fit for me and I wasn’t in it for very long at all. The situation that is currently being discussed at hand, well, I wasn’t even around for that. In fact, I did not even hear about situation until my guild was targeted and sabotaged last year.
As Janessa, I was the GM, creator, etc of Whispers of Windrunner the day that void elves were released. I took it as an opportunity to build something great for the community while giving myself a fresh start, looking forward to the RP to come. I built and practically slaved over my guild from the ground up almost entirely on my own. I did not expect to have my guild immensely popular and in demand right out the gates and I wasn’t prepared for it at all.
While the numbers and popularity of Whispers grew rapidly, I knew I needed help and sought out officers who were willing to take on officer responsibilities. Among them were a couple whom I thought I could trust and whom I felt I related to. This couple is known to be Elysiae and Shandor/Mordren. I never knew them, never heard anything about them, and I really enjoyed their company. They supported me and showed they wanted the guild to succeed and throughout some of the growing pains, Elysiae gained my confidence.
This was short lived however.
Not long after I decided to make her my Co-GM, she had caused a LOT of drama with other members of my guild on ooc spectrums. I also over time lost faith in my officers because they suddenly became inactive or not around as much without notice. I was literally slaving over the guild, prepping guild events, making a website, talking with other people to get RP going, etc etc. When I am being pulled 16 different ways at once, it’s taxing and there were some days, I just wanted to do an RP away from everyone else as a break. Apparently that isn’t allowed.
Anyways, an IC situation had happened with my own character against Baldassar who is known to be a member of SLP. It later escalated where Maxen was involved along with many other people. Everything that was happening was completely IC and I had even messaged Maxen during the heated RP if he was ok OOCly because I am constantly worried about OOC/IC crossing. All seemed well and was fine.
Apparently not.
The next day, Elysiae and Shandor get Galmone involved, saying that I should step down as a GM because of the RP and the fact that I am, Nevari, and despite all the work I’ve done, me being GM isn’t good for the guild. I believe the term they used was a “GM Wash.” I dunno, this was a year ago. Anyways, I was absolutely outraged by this and said flat out it wasn’t going to happen. No sooner did I end my Discord call with them, they went to undermine me and sought out to degrade me in unspeakable ways.
I have a recording of them doing this in the act.
Immediately Shandor/Mordren says that I was kicked out of Remnants of Lordaeron because I rp’ed raping a 12 year old to death. At this time, it had been 1-2 years since I had even been a part of that guild... but neither here nor there needless to say this allegation was beyond shocking and hurtful to me. Upon investigation where Shandor had heard this from, it was found out by my partner at the time it stemmed from Rennali.
It doesn’t end there.
The recording had circulated. This was my biggest mistake. At the time, I felt I needed to defend myself by circulating it to show the extent people will go to bring someone down. It backfired because people didn’t look at the context of my guild’s situation but the context of the rumor itself.
With this allegation looming and the recording now spread, it of course reached “big boy” ears. I adamantly fought the allegations, proclaiming my innocence to no avail to Maxen about all of this yet I was still punished for something I had no involvement with. I was removed from all of the RP groups because of this even though there is not a single screenshot in the world that can even remotely link me to this incident. Of course after Shandor and Elysiae’s antics, I immediately removed them from the guild.
I was punished because of the testimony which came from Berenal and Niklos. Berenal came to Niklos asking about the situation and Niklos gave damning testimony which was 100% false and complete slander.
See following screenshot:
All of this caused huge rifts in my guild. My friendships were torn apart, people left because of the controversy, my Rp partner at the time gave up on it and left. After all of that emotional trauma I endured, I couldn’t move on and I relinquished the guild to a worthy member who offered to take the reigns. I was beyond devastated and hurt in ways beyond imagining. To be frank, I ended up having to go to therapy over this.
I do have regrets on how I handled the situation but I can’t exactly change the past. What was done is done.
Now, as far as the actual situation goes. Supposedly Rennali heard this rumor from someone named Hranu but I have 0 clue about that side of the story. Regardless, without a shroud of evidence to the claim, she chose to continue to spread the lie by talking to other people who ask about it “because she was told this therefore she can talk about it.” Though this isn’t a post about my conversation with her afterwards, this is more about Niklos.
Niklos knew I wasn’t involved 100% and he took it upon himself to come up with a narrative to damn me. Just recently, he posted yet again I am STILL involved with this situation yet I have multiple statements from various witnesses and people involved that I had no hand in it whatsoever.
I also would like to point out the following discussion with Niklos. Please note the following things: 1. He approached me out of the blue because we had a mutual discord server. 2. This conversation was during the hectic time and before my conversation with Rennali. I put this in an imgur because I wasn’t sure how Tumblr would format it.
https://imgur.com/a/t3BjU4c
Anyways, why this didn’t come out about his enabling and defending of these individuals back when I was being wrongfully persecuted is beyond me but I am glad that there is a sense of justice in all of this. I haven’t even been around much these days but what I find hilarious is that I logged on a character he knows me for and within literally 5 minutes, he was talking ill about me to a friend of mine, another screenshot I have mind you.
Though yes, I am glad to have Brady and others clear my name and I do hope Niklos gets everything that’s coming to him. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask me on my Discord Wolfie#0156. I seldom check this and felt that this needed to be said so I have my own peace of mind.
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