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whatawonderfulexistence--blog · 1 month

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Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) - Part VII

*inhales aggressively* VESSEL CHAPTER!!!!!! FINALLY!!!! Reader has a talk with the boys about what exactly happened with the night's kissing incident, after so much time of him being a bit distant towards reader Vessel decides to let his softer side show, plus more moments with III because I'm in love with him and I can't help myself sorry not sorry hehe I can't wait to know what you all think of this chapter thank you all so much for all the wonderful comments. If you would like to be added to the tag list please let me know!!

WARNINGS: discussion of boundaries, proposals of a polyamorous relationship (I tried my best to make it realistic but I, myself, am not polyamorous), fluffy stuff per usual. NOT PROOFREAD

My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link!

Part VI - Part VIII (TBA)

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The sight before you almost made you want to laugh. The four grown men that sat in various seats around your living room almost resembled a group of school kids waiting anxiously outside the principal's office. “I’m sorry.” III was the first of them to speak up.

“No, if anything I should be the one apologizing.” II quickly follows, both of them unable to even look in your direction.

“I’m not upset at either of you, I’m just… confused.” You respond softly.

“It started off as simple crushes; me, IV, III, Ves.” You noticed Vessel’s shoulder tense as he was dragged into this conversation as well. “We all think you’re beautiful-”

“And very sweet.” III adds on. You can’t help the subtle smile that finds its way to your lips at their compliments.

“We could tell things had gotten a little more serious between you and III so we all decided to back off. But, I can’t lie to you,” II chuckled, “I’m a very jealous man. So when someone tries to keep me from what I want I don’t typically respond the best.”

“And I don’t feel right asking you to commit solely to me when you clearly have feelings for II, as well.” III adds his piece. You found it odd, there was no anger in his voice at the thought of you with his friend. “I guess what we’re trying to say is, um…” he trails off, looking to II as he searches for the right words to say.

“How would you feel about dating all of us?” Vessel breaks the thick tension with his blunt question. You felt like all of the air had been punched from your lungs, your heart jumping into your throat as your head snapped in his direction.

“Vessel, you can’t phrase it like that!” IV groans from his spot on your couch, dropping his head into his hand.

“What? She's a big girl, you don't need to beat around the bush.”

“Dating… dating all of you?” You finally mutter after a few moments of shocked silence.

“Obviously only if you're comfortable with that.” III stands from his seat, slowly stepping closer to you. “You don't have to say yes to any of this. It doesn't matter if you want to date only me, or if you would be okay dating all of us. Hell, after dropping this on you, there's a chance you might not want to see any of us ever again.” You didn't miss the nervousness that laced its way into his laughter. III was genuinely scared that this was going to fully push you away. “But, it's about what you want, that's the important part.”

“And you're all okay with this?” You would be lying if you tried to say you didn't find the offer very appealing. Every member of the group that sat before you drew you to them in one way or another, they were definitely an attractive bunch to put it lightly; III with his subtle intensity, who was always making you laugh, II who would turn you into a flustered mess with his sweet words, IV who’s easily excitable nature and blind confidence when it came to complimenting you made your heart thrum in your chest, Vessel who lets his hand linger on your waist as he maneuvers around you doing restock days, who holds your gaze for perhaps a little longer than necessary when wishing you goodbye at night. But, could you really handle four relationships?

“The way we see it, we’d rather share you with others who we know are going to take good care of you than to be forced to hold our tongues about how we feel about you.” II explains.

“I…” you trail off as you look between the four of them. “I need some time to think.” Your voice shook slightly as you spoke.

“Of course.” Vessel responds. Without another word II, III, and IV stood, quietly said their goodbyes to you and left your apartment. Vessel hung back for a moment, waiting for III to fully shut the door behind him before breathing out a sigh. “I'm sorry that all of this happened the way it did. I kept telling them to wait to bring it up.” His gaze drops to you, who was silently fidgeting with your fingers as you leaned against the wall.

“I can always tell them to back off, love.”

“No, you don't have to do that.” You brush him off. “It's nothing to do with any of you, you're all incredible. It's just- it's me, that's what the problem is.” You tried to force a laugh to prove to Vessel that you were fine, his unchanging expression let you know immediately that he saw right through you. “You're all so wonderful, and the fact that you would be willing to make such a huge compromise.” You stare through the slits of his mask, believing you were meeting his eyes. “What if it's not worth it?”

You didn't have time to register what was happening before Vessel was in front of you, pulling you into a warm embrace.

“I know I might not be as… prominent with my acts of affection as the others.” He pulls back slightly, one large hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as your eyes instinctively rise to look at him. “But, considering II put things out in the open, I need you to know that I care for you viscerally.” The soft growl that found its way into his voice made your cheeks grow warm. “I don't want you to feel pressured into anything you don't want, but I need you to understand that there has not been a single moment since I met you that would make me think any of this wasn't worth it.” You blink slowly as a hand comes to rest on the top of your head, comfortingly patting the spot. “Would it be alright if I came and checked in tomorrow?” You nod, reluctantly letting your hands fall away from their position pressed against his chest as he stepped back, his warmth fading away with it.

“Goodnight, Ves.” Your voice cracked slightly as you tried to keep your overwhelming emotions in check.

“Goodnight love, rest well.”

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You watched the second hand on the clock tick, bringing you closer to when Vessel would usually make his nightly supply runs. You hadn’t managed to sleep at all the night prior, tossing and turning as you played through every scenario you could think of as you made your decision. At the sight of the familiar pick up truck rumbling into the lot you felt your heart race. “This is it.” You muttered out loud to the empty store. “No going back now.” He poked his head through the door before fully entering.

“You still open?” He offers you a playful smile.

“No, but for you I'll make an exception.” You giggle in response. He slowly steps inside and approaches the counter.

“How’d thinking on things go?” He rests his elbows on the counter, bringing him closer to face level with you.

You set a hand down on the counter, Vessel cautiously reaching out to take it in his own. He hesitates for a moment, his hand drawing back slightly as if he was preparing to pull away. His fingers were rough against the soft skin of your hand when he finally decided to take his, his thumb running languidly across the peaks and valleys of your knuckles as he waited patiently for your response. “I want to take things slow… but the thought of having all of you to myself is a little too good to pass up.” He breathes out a chuckle, flashing you a sharp smirk that makes your breath catch in your throat.

“Is that so?” He mulls over how to respond to your statement for a moment. “How about I make us dinner and we can sit down and talk about how slow you want to take things, just so we can make sure everyone is on the same page.”

“You want to cook me dinner?” You shoot him a playful smile. “Is it going to be edible?” He bellows out a laugh in response.

“You're funny, you know I've been told I'm a wonderful cook.” He points an accusatory finger at you, standing up to collect what ingredients he needed from around the store. “Just you wait and see, this is going to be the best damn meal you've ever eaten.”

The whole thing was a bit strange in the best way. If he hasn't told you so directly you would've sworn that Vessel thought of you as little more than an acquaintance. But now, you were sitting on your kitchen counter, a glass of white wine swirling around in your hand, rolling your eyes playfully at all of Vessel’s terrible jokes as he made the two of you dinner. He asks you where you keep your plates, you easily reach into the cabinet behind you and produce a pair, holding them out to him with a soft smile. He carefully plates the pasta he made, penne with bacon and spinach and some type of cream sauce he had pulled together with odds and ends from your pantry. “It smells incredible.” He saunters in front of you, trapping you on the counter by placing a hand on either side of your waist.

“And here you were questioning my culinary skills.” He feigns a hurt tone before a soft chuckle rumbles from his chest. “Come on beautiful, let's go eat.” He pulls away from you, your body trailing after his warmth. You pad your way into the living room, Vessel close behind as he carries your plate for you. You sat close together on the couch, angling yourself to better face him. “So, define slow.” He jumps in immediately.

“Let me at least get a couple bites in.” Vessel can't help but smile at your teasing tone. “I just… I don’t know. This is all so different I don't think I can really tell you what going slow even means.”

“Well, I can assure you that all of us care a lot about how you feel during all of this.”

“And I know that.”

“I think you're worried about more than just taking things slow, love. What's on your mind?” The softness to his tone immediately lulled your anxious mind into a sense of safety.

“I'm worried about things developing quicker in certain relationships than others, I just don't want that to cause any of you to fight.” You absentmindedly twisted your fork around in your fingers, studying it as you tried to put into words what was racing through your mind.

“That might happen, but if it does it's alright. Unfortunately that's just something we have to deal with.” He chuckles. “There's no doubt in my mind that you would be more comfortable moving a bit quicker with III than you would with me, he started flirting with you from the start. We all know that you're in various stages of getting to know us, we're more than willing to give you time to figure all of that out.” Hearing him being so reassuring made the heaviness weighing in your chest lighten considerably. “Is there anything else I can do to ease that pretty little head of yours?” You slowly shake your head no before pausing. You looked at the man before you, swallowing thickly as you mulled over an idea. Vessel was an enigma to you even after months of knowing him. He was aloof, quiet, but the few rare instances he let part of his personality break through you could tell just how wonderful he could really be.

“Dance with me?” The question hung in the air for a moment before Vessel wordlessly rose to his feet.

“I will warn you, I'm not much of a dancer.” He chuckles, outstretching his hand for you to take. His palm was warm against your fingertips; the smudged edges of his paint were a stark contrast to the pale skin underneath.

“What a shame, neither am I.” You giggle in response before he pulls you to your feet. He looks around the room, making a small sound of affirmation to himself before pushing your coffee table out of the way to open up the space. You walked over to a bookshelf in the corner of the room, clicking on your radio and letting the soft tune crackle to life. Vessel stood in the center of the room, hands shoved into his pockets as he waited for your return, a soft smile settling onto his lips.

“You look really beautiful today.” He says softly, one strong arm reaching out for you and wrapping around your waist when you were within reach. Your fingers intertwine with his, Vessel watching carefully as each delicate digit slotted between his own. Your cheeks grow warm as you timidly accept the compliment. You had never been this close to Vessel before, feeling the way his muscles tensed and shifted under the hand that rested on his shoulder sent a shiver down your spine. You were unable to tear your eyes away from him, the intricate detailing along the edge of his mask highlighting how wide and bright his smile was as he gazed down at your flustered form. The music you had turned on was non existent at this point, the only thing mattering at this point in time was Vessel finally allowing you the briefest glimpse inside his walls. You managed to trip over your own feet, yelping slightly as you stumbled into him. “Easy now, I got you.” He chuckles, helping to steady you on your feet. “If you're going to faint at least wait until I kiss you for the first time.” He jokes

“Already thinking about kissing me, huh?” You smile coyly

“It'd be hard not to with a pretty face like that.” You let out a flustered laugh, your eyes dropping to the floor. You jumped when there was a sudden knock on the door. You reluctantly pull out of Vessel’s grasp, his fingers trailing across your waist as he tries to remain connected to you until the last possible moment. You slowly open the door, not knowing who to expect on the other side so late. You froze when your eyes landed on III, who was nervously swaying his heels on the creaky wooden landing outside. The moment he realized you had answered he immediately began to ramble.

“I'm sorry, I know you said you needed time to think and I absolutely respect that. I just, I know we kissed, and if you decide you don't want to go through with this I don't want it to make things weird-”

“III.” His mouth snaps shut as you softly say his name. You look back into your living room, Vessel’s head rested in his hand, he seemed mildly annoyed to be interrupted. Not knowing how to respond, you simply pushed the door wide open, III’s attention immediately drawn to Vessel. “We were actually just talking about that.” His eyes widen slightly, his gaze switching between you and his friend.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt-”

“I was just leaving, actually.” Your brows furrowed in confusion. You turn to face him as he walks up to you. He cradles your face in his hand, “tonight was wonderful, I hope we get to do this again soon.” He swipes his thumb across your cheek, leaving a thin black streak in its wake. “Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight, Ves.” You respond breathlessly. You turn to face III, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth before reaching out and taking his hand, tugging him inside your apartment. His eyes stay locked on you as he follows you through the door, shutting it quietly behind him. “I really enjoyed, um… kissing you last night was really nice.” You let out a flustered laugh. “I don’t want you to worry that you made things weird.”

He chuckles, “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He stuffs his hand in his pockets, shifting his weight awkwardly. “I hope that talk you guys were having was a good one.”

“I think you’ll be very satisfied with the outcome.” You giggle. He gazes at you curiously, the usual playful sparkle back in his eyes when he realized he hadn’t scared you off.

“Is that so?” He saunters closer to you, his towering height and intense gaze threatening to make your knees buckle. “You let me know if any of this is moving too fast, okay?” He says sweetly, gently cupping your jaw.

“Okay.” You smile up at him. He trails his thumb over your bottom lip, his bright blue eyes darting around your features as he drank in the sight of you.

“You are simply gorgeous, love.” He whispers after a moment of silence.

“You flatter me too much.” Both hands slide around your waist, gently pulling you flush against him.

“I'm only telling my girl the truth.” He smiles. Your eyes flash up to meet his, the declaration of being his girl making your heart flutter in your chest. “Well, it seems like we have the night to ourselves. What would you like to do?” Wordlessly you take one of the hands that had settled against the curve of your hip, guiding him towards your couch. You threw on a movie, something mindless that you didn't need to pay attention to. Tonight was about spending time with III. No distractions, no hidden feelings, just you and someone who made you feel like a girl experiencing her first crush all over again. III takes you in his arms, laying back and pulling you on top of him in the process. One arm resting comfortably behind his head, the other slung over your waist as the two of you cuddled in a comfortable silence. “You know, I was really worried all of this would make you never speak to me again.” He speaks up after a while through a quiet chuckle.

“I was definitely a bit nervous about the idea, still kind of am if I'm being honest.” You laugh softly, absentmindedly tracing shapes against the soft material of his sweatshirt on his chest. “But, none of you have given me any reason not to trust you, so despite being nervous I feel like this is the right choice.”

“How you feel about this is very important to me, okay? If there's ever anything I can do for you love, just let me know.” He rubs his hand soothingly up and down your back, keeping you pressed close to him almost as if he was scared if he let you go you'd disappear. The two of you stayed up talking late into the night; you learned that III is more of a cat person than a dog person, his favorite color is red, and he would willingly disappear into the woods without a trace if it meant never folding laundry again. “It's such a dumb concept, I'm going to put the damn clothes on anyways. Why do they have to be folded and put away?” You hid your face against his shoulder, trying to hide the fact you had tears forming in your eyes from laughing so hard. You look up at him with a bright smile, the tangent dying in his throat as his eyes meet yours. He slowly sits himself up on his elbows, your body responding as it gradually slid into his lap. One of his hands pressed into the small of your back, keeping you held as close to him as possible, the other moving to cup your cheek.

“I haven't been able to stop thinking about kissing you since last night.” You admit in a tone barely above a whisper.

“Trust me, I wasn't doing much better.” He chuckles, his gaze briefly flashing down to your lips. “Everything about you… everything about you is just so perfect, and for the life of me I can't figure out why you give me the time of day.”

“Because you make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world.” Your voice shook as you spoke, you could hear your heartbeat thundering in your ears and you were nearly positive that III could hear it too.

“Because you are the only girl in the world for me.” He admits without a second thought. “I haven't been able to get last night out of my head. Of course I want to kiss you again, but this time I want to kiss you and mean it.” Trembling fingers rose to the edge of his mask, glancing up at him through your lashes asking for silent permission to raise his mask enough to kiss him. He nods, studying your nervous expression as you gently took the edge of the fabric and raised it to just below his nose. Your breath was snatched from your lungs as III crushed his lips against yours, your mind immediately swimming in the overwhelming sensation that was him. His lips subtly sweet as he eased your mouth open, his tongue carefully caressing yours, making sure to take things at a bear agonizing pace in order for you to be able to back away at any time. Your hands slid up his torso, III shivered under your delicate touch. You felt lightheaded as the kiss took over your senses; the euphoric feeling of his warm lips against yours, the deep, earthy smell of his cologne, his massive hand kneading at the softness of your hip. You both pulled away equally breathless, your hands coming up to his mask in order to readjust it into place before he had a chance to.

“I think you definitely meant it this time.” You giggle, your forehead falling to rest against his.

“There's going to be plenty more where that came from.” He winks playfully at you.

III decided to leave you for the night when you could barely keep your head up anymore. He scoops you up in his arms. You grumble in annoyance despite the fact you immediately begin to nuzzle your face against his chest. “Where are we going?” You ask through a yawn.

“I’m taking you to bed sweetheart, you need to rest.” He chuckles.

“-’m not tired.” You try to protest, your actions only make him laugh again before he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Says the woman who can’t keep her eyes open.” You could hear his smile in his voice.

“I don’t want you to leave.” You admit softly.

“I know love, but you have a store to run, I’m afraid I’ve kept you up more than I already meant to.” He carefully maneuvers himself so he’s holding you in one arm, pulling back your blankets with his now free hand. He lays you gently into bed, his knuckles trailing across your cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” His head dips down, allowing you to share one more chaste kiss before he left you to fall into a dreamless sleep.

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transfemarmin · 10 months

Text

miles morales x black! amab! reader

being spiderman came with responsibilities; responsibilities that miles; a fifteen year old boy; sometimes took lightly, trying his hardest to still be a hero as well as living to what he thought was right; well.. he learned his lesson.. as his face was stained with the dried blood of his now deceased lover; his hands shaking as he stared down at their corpse.. he was frozen; a shaky breath coming out of his lips, a breath he didn’t even know was there.. “ no…” his voice was cracking; as his vision blurred; staring at the person he had grown to love over the years.. all the memories they shared over the years flying through his head. . .

01:

“ miles..” [name] groaned as the boy had asked them to try to do his hair; and by do it..he meant detangle it so he could wash it. “ yes?” he turned his head to look at his partner; a grin toying on his lips; his eyes had a look of love, a look that was quickly met with a look of annoyance; “ turn your damn head back around.. before i hit you in the back of the head so hard with this brush you see next year.” [name] threatened; which made miles shudder and turn back around; so the lover he had could properly detangle his hair; a kiss was laid on top of the product full head of hair he had; “ thank you, my love.”

….

[name]…

02:

“-coming!” [name] called out as they grabbed their uniform jacket and readjusted their tie before they ran out of the school; miles had asked them to come to his house.. something about an important matter that had to be discussed with them; they were running down the side of the sidewalk as they spoke to miles over the phone; “ you can’t just…TELL me over the phone..? It’s that important?” They slowed down a bit.. once they realized the bangs of their hair was up; both due to shrinkage and due to the air that was hitting them due to their fast pace.

“ yes! it’s extremely important so..get here!” and with that miles hung up; “ …i know that lil nigga did not just hang up in my face!” [name] yelled to themselves, a look of anger on his face as he stared down at his phone, grumbling to himself as he made his way to his friend’s house; he was quickly greeted with miles sitting on the sidewalk next to his house; chewing on his bottom lip; “ miles! yo..man whats good with you?” [name] spoke; a grin making its way to his face, the anger leaving as quickly as it came once he saw his friend. the guy sat down next to his friend on the sidewalk; “ hey man..I got a question..”

[name] nodded; “ i most likely got an answer..unless it’s about math.. im the english gay not the math one.” he put his hands up; the joke leaving his lips as a giggle was released almost instantly; “ but…I got you man.. c’mon tell me.” he spoke; playfully hitting his friend’s shoulder as he spoke.

“ …how did you know..you liked boys?”

“ …what?”

“…I think I like this boy.. but I don’t know how to know if I just admire him or actually like him.”

[name] raised an eyebrow and then playfully punched his friend; “ so your ass is crushin’ on someone.. and didn’t tell me..? wow.” a playful eye roll was expected but then their expression changed to one of sincerity.

“ i just..i kissed one..and compared it to how I felt with a girl.”

“ but..I never kissed a girl.”

“ you’ve been in love with one though.” [name] spoke softly; “ that girl from another dimension? ..the one with the confusing lore behind her being.”

“ dude..you understand five nights at freddy’s lore..but don’t get the spiderman one?” miles spoke; getting a bit more interested in this conversation than..to tell his best friend.. of nearly a decade he had a crush on him.

“ i…look.. im beating the black men love spiderman allegations! “ [name] spoke and threw his head back in a dramatic fashion.

“ but…we’re getting side tracked.. what is this guy like.how long you knew him?”

“ a long time man…nearly as long as I been aliv-“ almost instantly [name] cut him off

“ okay lil nigga who else you knew besides me that long that you been keeping me in the dark about?” [name] got closer to miles; their faces mere centimeters apart.. and they watched as miles began to start sweating; the slightly taller of the two could’ve sworn he heard miles mutter a ‘ you.’

“…what?”

“ i like you.”

god

w..what happened to you?

miles took a step closer to his long term boyfriend, his eyes searching over for any signs of life.. he couldn’t even see the other’s chest moving; placing his head on his chest.. his eyes widened when he heard how..quiet it was.

03:

“ why is your heart always beating so loud? that cannot be healthy.” miles shook his head as he laid his head down on his boyfriend’s chest; a blush made its way to the other’s face and they shook their head.

“ it’s cause I love you so much..you make me nervous.” they spoke softly, wrapping their arms around the frame of their partner. “ you make my hands sweaty and shit man.. I don’t know how I’m supposed to calm down when I got this gorgeous man in front of me.” [name] spoke; miles could feel the the sweat on his hands soaking through his shirt; and his eyebrows furrowed; “ jesus I didn’t know someone could sweat this much!” soon as he said that [name] snatched their hands back

“ no! baby I was joking! put them back- dude put them back!”

“ miles…” gwen started as she was in a hurry; the spot was still attacking miles’ dimension, his world was going to collapse if they didn’t stop the villain soon… but a gasp left her mouth when she saw [name].. their clothes torn and bloodied, their eyes wide with terror and mouth slightly gaped open; miles was sobbing over his boyfriend’s body; tears rushing down at a rapid pace.

…not you too.

04:

miles awkwardly cleared his throat as his looked over at his boyfriend, the two of them were at their local burger joint.. and while it was just a hang out spot for them on usual occasions.. this was their first date.

“ so..you come here often?” miles spoke; the awkward tone was dripping from his voice.. it was almost painful

“ yeah.. I do.. I come here all the time with my best friend, miles morales.” [name] said, then they released a laugh so light, it would’ve been considered more of a giggle.

“ ah..? miles morales.. what’s he like.. he tall? handsome even?” this was making the vibe less awkward; miles leaned over the table; a smirk on his face.

“ he’s very handsome..” [name] responded; looking at miles with nothing but love in their eyes. “ he’s the only one who supports the fact that I’m not always a boy.. he listens to me rant about my interests.. and I listen to him rant about his own.. I think.. I’m in love with him.” [name]’s face got hot at that last part.. miles’ did as well.

“ ..oh?” was miles’ only response.

“ …yeah.” yeah the awkward vibe was back, and miles was desperate to return it back to how it was; he placed a hand on top of [name]’s..

“ he’s in love with you too.”

don’t leave me.

miles knew [name] was already gone; but his ear was pressed against his chest anyway; his own heart pounding at the possibility of never hearing their laugh again.. not being able to listen to them rant about lore of things miles didn’t even know the first thing about..

“ [name]… if you don’t go.. I promise.. I’ll play all those dumb scary games with you..five night’s at Freddy’s.. sally face.. those dumb roblox scary games.. please.” his words oozing with pain, he felt gwen tugging on him. they had to go.. they needed to fight the spot.. the team needed them.. there was only so much they could do without the extra eyes.. the extra hands, the extra skills..

..why didn’t he save them in time..why didn’t they stay home? he told [name] the spot was dangerous and that the only people who could defeat him was him and the spider society.. he wasn’t a spider person.. [name] was a normal civilian trying to help the man they loved.

i can’t lose you..

05:

“ [name]! guess what.” miles said with a grin; as he stared at his lover; [name] rolled his eyes playfully “ what is it?”

“ i love you.” miles had a look of love.. contentment and happiness in his eyes as he said that; [name] gave a shy smile “ …i love you too, estúpido.” the last word made miles’ mouth dropped

“ what?!” he shouted; “ where did you learn that?”

“ your mom! “ [name] said with a grin; “ she didn’t call you stupid.. she was just doing that thing..moms do when they rant to themselves and forget people can hear them.” [name] shrugged as he stared at his boyfriend

“ i just wanted to try it out…” the other gave their boyfriend a soft flick to the forehead

“ you’re very smart.. smartest boy I ever met…after me when im feeling the man in me.” [name] said as they opened their legs in that moment, manspreading; turning to miles and grinned. his eyes showing nothing but happiness and love.

“ but..seriously man.. I love you too.. so fucking much.”

…please.

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writing-in-the-impala · 5 months

Text

Secret Smokes (Part 5)

Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader

Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.

Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, teacher-student relationship (but like it’s all legal chill), SLOWburn we’re in for a long ride

Word Count: 2681

A/N: I'm back! Here's a new chapter sorry for the wait I love you all.

| SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |

Previous Chapter, Part 5, Next Chapter

On Monday morning you received an owl from Lupin letting you know he's "back" and your lesson is back on this evening. You spent the whole weekend thinking about your last interaction with him, the dynamic between the two of you was becoming very odd.

You were becoming a lot more self aware of your growing crush on him and you opened up to him about how you considered him a close friend and he seemed to share the same feeling. You would obviously never tell him how you realised in the three broomsticks that you had a crush on him as you began to feel jealous thinking he's on a date, fuelling your prank, it was ridiculous he was just a friendly teacher and you were developing a crush on him. Every girl in class flirted with him, his slightly messy hair and overall good looks did make him very attractive, and the idea that he was off limits made him a bit more appealing. You knew one thing the biggest rush caused by a boy all year was when he put his arms around you during your DADA tutoring last week. He made all of Percy's and anyone advances feel boring compared to the thrill of him calling you dear and winking at you.

When you came into his classroom in the evening he looked a lot more beaten up than usual, the full moon must've been tough on him this month. His hair was a bit more floppy and shabby than usual and he was wearing a baggy warm sweater. "Hello Y/N, how was your weekend?" He greeted you gently as you walked into the room, you could feel his eyes on every move you made as you shut the door behind you and walked towards him, he had a genuine gentle smile on his face. "It was nothing special you know when you begin going to lessons you suddenly have a lot of work to do and a lot of studying. How was your trip?" You asked him keeping up the facade. "It was okay, very tiring." He stood up and that's when you noticed his cane as he walked around to the front of his desk. "So are you ready for a little bit of a duel to warm up?" He asked rolling up the sleeves of his sweater.

"I'm not the one with the cane and cosy sweater. Are you ready?" You mocked standing opposite him wand at the ready.

"Don't underestimate a man in a sweater, I bite." He said with a wink.

"You do?" You asked raising your eyebrow like he just raised your heart beat and he shot a trip jinx that you managed to defend. "I see your paying attention." He said shooting another which you also managed to defend. "A grown man trying to trick a school girl by distracting her, and you can't even hit me." You said shooting a sponge knee curse back in his direction that he defended well.

"Some men are into that you know." He said before trying to hit you again. "Oh, I know." You say again defending his attack. After that you both stopped teasing each other and focused on hitting each other, well the correct description is you tried to hit him and he easily diverted everything throwing a few simple duelling spells. No matter what you did you couldn't hit him and it was becoming increasingly difficult to defend his attacks as he began using more and more complex spells. That's when you began to play dirty you pretended to trip and fell to the ground and he immediately lowered his wand and went to the floor to make sure you're okay. "Y/N, are you hurt?" He asked quickly checking your ankle for where he may have hit it. "Stupefy." You whispered flicking your wand at him and he jetted back a bit. "Ouch. Now that's playing dirty." He said standing up slowly with the help of his cane and reaching an arm out to help you stand up. "I win." You smile at him.

"Y/N, the whole point of this is to teach you better defence and attack spells so you can pass your exams and be protected out there. Do you think a dark wizard trying to cause you harm will care if you hurt you leg? They'll just keep hitting you." He explained and that wiped the smug look off of your face. "But you cared, and I won." You said smuggly and in that moment he hit you with a stunner of his own "we're even now." But to you this meant beginning the duel again so you could win. You were more determined to beat him this time throwing shots back and forth "no fair you're using protego." You say noticing his shield charm. "Disarm it then." He snapped back. In the end Lupin won knocking you to the floor and getting you to give up but this time he was actually duelling you. By the time you were finished both of you sat down on the small step in class drenched in sweat it helped that he was weakened by the full moon. "You know I wanted to begin work on your patronus today but our hour is already up." He said checking his watch and trying to catch a breath. "Already?" You asked shocked. "Time flies. I guess we'll begin that work on Wednesday." He confirmed drinking some water and offering you a glass that he magically got to show up. "Can we always start with some duelling practice profesor?" You asked honestly as you found today very fun he was standing up to grab a canteen of water to fill up both your glasses, he laughed gently before answering "whatever you'd like dear." There it was again the word that made your heart skip a beat and get stuck in your throat. "But definitely not for an hour next time, my condition is not what it used to be." He sat back down next to you pushing his hair back and trying to catch a breath. Do you think this is what he looks like just after sex? All hot and sweaty like that, hair a mess as he hands you some water, your brain began day dreaming about him while you both breathed heavily side by side. He put his hands on his knees saying "right" as he stood up. "Well I hope you took something useful out of this lesson, I'll see you later for a very healthy cigarette." He said opening the door for you.

"I'm sure daily cigarettes are going to help you keep up your cardio health." You said jokingly. "Can't get worse." He replied as you left the room and waved goodbye to him. As you were waking towards the great hall the twins spotted you. "How was your flirting session with Lupin?" Fred asked.

"Shut it." You said simply.

"You're spending a lot of time with him."

"I'm getting tutored by him Fred, that's how it works."

"What about the evenings?"

"What about them?" Your face felt red. "Nothing, so Three Broomsticks this weekend?" He asked. "Definitely."

After dinner you went to the usual spot and Remus was there he smiled gently and stood up straight when he saw you approaching. "Hello you." He said as you leaned on the side reaching into your pocket for your lighter. "Don't get too comfortable I want to show you something." He said filled with a excited look, starting to walk back into school. "Come on, don't just stand there." He lead you out near towards the Black Lake. "Profesor isn't it against the rules for me to be out here at night." You asked with a small laugh. "Call it a night class." You approached the lake and there was millions of blinkers aka glow bugs on the surface of the water lighting it up. You stood in silence and awe before Lupin took a seat on the grass at the edge of the lake and you joined him. "Thank you." You whispered. "This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen." You said not even looking at him, you didn't know he was starting right at you with a soft but needy look. "Yeah... It happens only once a year, I noticed it earlier in the evening when I went on a walk." He looked back at the view in front of him in the water. At this moment you were just two people sharing a mystical moment in time, the silence was thick but comfortable as you sat side by side watching. Lupin gently put a hand on your thigh and rubbed it while he said "You see the magical world isn't so bad after all." He removed his hand immediately and used it to support himself while he sat. You didn't respond your body felt like it was on fire from his touch. Slowly the lights began to fade as the glow bugs moved on and you and Lupin began to gently stroll around the lake taking a long way back to the castle.

"Y/N, what figure do I represent in your life?" He suddenly asked after a moment of comfortable silence. "I- I don't know what you mean." Cheeks going red again does he know that he makes your heart race every time he speaks, does he know your terrified of him knowing you have developed feeling for him, that he's the boy you dream of not anyone in your class. "I know we spoke recently and you said you see me as a friend but predominantly do you see me as a teacher? A role model? Or do you see me more human as someone you can talk to-"

"I see you as a friend. A close friend. Profesor I told you this before..." You interrupted feeling nervous this was the closest you could get to the truth without telling him about how you looked at his lips every time he smiled and wondered how they would feel colliding with yours. He didn't look at you he just nodded. "Good. I see you as a close friend too, as I've also said before, maybe one of the closest I have at Hogwarts however inappropriate that is to admit. As a friend I need to admit something to you." You swallowed as he stopped to emphasise the importance of what he was about to say and looked you in the eyes. He put a hand on your shoulder creating distance but also support. "I have to tell you something important before you get too close to me, I feel guilty I've been keeping this from you but I have truly enjoyed our friendship and I see this as something special. Now if you do not want to speak to me that is okay, however I please ask you keep this between us and keep attending my lessons as this is separate to your schooling-" he was avoiding saying it he looked composed but he looked anxious. "Lupin just say it." You had a feeling what he was about to say was going to change everything. He let go of your shoulder and said "I have Lycanthropy." He said looking at the floor in shame. "I know." You said beginning to laugh in relief he didn't know about your crush but wanted to admit something you already figure out. "What?" He looked genuinely shocked. "Lupin, we see each other on a regular basis, you disappear once a month around the full moon, you come back in pain, you get angsty right before the full moon."

"I don't get angsty." He laughed all the pressure easing away thanks to your reaction.

"You get angsty. I'm offended you didn't think I would figure it out." You simply said.

"I thought I was better at hiding it, I was genuinely scared you'll never speak to me again but I couldn't let you get close to me without knowing about my condition."

"What is it the 1950s? Do you want me to run for the hills in fear? Never speak to you again out of fear? Lupin, I'm not scared of you'd I don't care, you're someone I actually can talk to you don't find many of them at Hogwarts, you're not getting rid of me that easily." You didn't know how much those words meant to him but to him those words where repeated in his head all night. He has spent the last few weeks knowing he can't keep getting so close to you as your teacher and with his condition he was scared how you would react when you found out so he wanted to end it before he got too attached before you felt too much like one of the marauders. But here you were already knowing and not caring but treating him like a human, the only thing he had to be careful of now was not developing feelings for you...

Your next DADA class was interesting it started with Lupin talking about how you can use different charms and jinxes in a duel to win not with power but disarming and confusing your opponent. He walked around the class explaining this, pointing around and being his enthusiastic self. He looked so handsome when he leaned on his desk listening to what people have to say. He then instructed for everyone to stand up and waved his wands making the tables move to the side of the room. "Now before we end let's see all this in practice." He began. "What two lucky students would like to take part?" Lupin asked and some hands went up, he scanned the room deciding who to pick. "Mr Sallow." He said picking one of the more charismatic Slytherins. He was tall for his age with fluffy black hair and perfect cheek bones scattered with freckles and a known heartbreaker along with troublemaker. "And how about Miss L/N." He looked smug not as smug as Sebastian Sallow who was confident he could beat the girl who never showed up to classes. "You must be mistaken profesor I didn't raise my hand." You tried to protest. "Precisely." He winked at you before turning away and guiding everyone to empty space for the duel. "Surprise and disarm. You're already surprised by being picked Miss L/N are you ready to try and disarm Mr Sallow." You and Sebastian nodded. "Very well, wands at the ready. May the duel commence."

You and Sebastian started shooting spells at each other. Attempting to disarm one another, you decided to use leviosa to pick him up and start hitting him while he's in the air, he didn't know what to do or how to defend himself leaving you the winner. Lupin had a great big smile on his face as he slowly clapped while approaching you. He grabbed your arm and raised it "Miss L/N you're todays winner." People around you clapped including Sebastian who was getting up from the floor. The class ended and you felt smug as you gathered your belonging to leave you looked up at Lupin before leaving the class and he gave you a kind nod and a big smile which you knew meant he was proud of how you did.

When you left the classroom you heard your name being called to turn around and see Sebastian following after you. "I just wanted to say congratulations, was the reason you never showed up to this class the fact you knew everything?"

"I don't know anything maybe you're not that hard to beat." You said while you continued to walk.

"Maybe we should find out," he stopped mid track and gestured for you to get closer. "I run a duelling club," he whispered. "It's a unsanctioned and unsupervised duelling club, it would be interesting to have you come join along."

"Alright Sebastian and how do I find this duelling club?"

"Come find me by the Slytherin dorm room after classes are finished."

NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote

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#remus lupin x reader #student x teacher #teacher! Remus Lupin #professor lupin x reader #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #remus lupin #the maruaders #harry potter #remus love you #secret smokes

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flowerhrt · 1 year

Text

the end of love | daisy jones.

pairing: daisy jones x fem!reader

summary: two weeks after your break up, daisy decides to confront you and ask what's wrong.

warnings: it's the 70s, internalized homophobia, eddie being a bit of a dick, daisy is clean and the band is still together, reader is a lesbian.

a/n: i interpret daisy as a lesbian who deals with compulsive heterosexuality.

word count: 2.4k

breathe in. breathe out. it's just one song. record it all in one go, ignore billy's stupid complaints, and then go home.

well, what used to be home.

“daisy, you ready to go?” she heard teddy ask from the other side of the recording booth. “yeah, i'm fine. let's get this over with.” the redhead said before taking a sip of the glass of cold water she had next to her. she closed her eyes as she felt the liquid make its way through her throat.

breathe in. breathe out. she opened her eyes to find the band and camila next to teddy, all smiling encouragingly at her. daisy was about to smile back when the door to the recording studio opened abruptly. “holy shit, tell me i'm not late.”

oh fuck.

daisy felt like her heart was about to beat out of her chest. why is she here? she was supposed to be in new york, not los angeles.

“y/n! you are kind of late.. hope it was for a good reason.” warren said with a wink “tell me the guy at least fucks good.” the drummer added while wiggling his eyebrows.

the blue-eyed singer wanted to disappear. she tried to distract herself by playing with the hems of her long-sleeved white shirt. huh, funny. daisy thought. she always loved it when i wore this one.

“yeah, warren. he fucked better than you ever will.” y/n answered, not before rolling her eyes at their friend.

they didn't know y/n didn't fuck any guy last night.

they didn't know y/n would never fuck a guy. ever. they didn't know y/n was late because she didn't know if she could face her ex girlfriend after she told her she was leaving for good. they hadn't seen each other for two weeks, and it was fucking torture for both of them. they had grown so used to always waking up next to each other, cooking together, and doing pretty much everything together, and god did it feel weird to not see each other for longer than a day.

daisy felt like she couldn't breathe when y/n left. she always had to remind herself to breathe in and breathe out. it was as if the girl before her took all the oxygen in the world when she walked out of daisy's front door. right. she remembered bitterly as she felt the fabric of the shirt in her hands.

daisy's front door. daisy's home.

because she refused to move in with her even after three years of secretly seeing each other. she refused to let anyone know about their relationship. not even simone, who is like… them. and daisy understood, she obviously did.

it was dangerous to be one of the world's most famous singers and openly date a woman. openly love a woman. openly say the word lesbian. people would crucify you in the street if they knew you were a homosexual. that was the main reason y/n was scared, she was just a tour photographer who happened to become close with the band and fall in love with daisy on the way. if the world knew she was into women, she would never get another job.

daisy tried to tell her they would be okay, to screw the rest of the world. they loved each other. how could that ever be bad? as far as she knew, love wasn't a bad thing. but maybe she only thought that because she didn't have much experience with it. her parents hated her. men used her. she only has the band, simone, and y/n. had y/n. not anymore.

“daisy!” her name being yelled at her got her out of the trance she was in. “are you going deaf or are you just high as shit?” eddie asked from the microphone.

“she's in recovery, eddie. stop joking about that.” she heard a soft voice she could recognize anywhere snap back at him. “right, sorry.” the bassist said with his hands held up high as a way of showing surrender.

y/n looked at her and they made eye contact for a solid second. daisy gave her a small smile and looked down. “alright, let's get this party started!” warren hollered as daisy put her headphones on to start recording. “okay, the end of love, take one.”

the redhead remembered to breathe as she heard the first notes of the song.

i feel nervous in a way that can't be named.

i dreamt last night of a sign that read, the end of love.

she looked up and saw y/n drumming her fingers against her waist. she obviously knew the song was about her. ever since daisy met the photographer, almost every song she has written has been about her. the singer wrote the end of love the day after y/n walked out of her new york apartment.

it's pitiful, she thinks. even when they're not romantically together anymore, she still writes about her.

and i remember thinking even in my dreaming.

it was a good line for a song.

daisy tried to steady her breathing but when she looked at y/n she felt like she was about to pass out.

breathe in. breathe out.

breathe in. i can't fucking do this.

the flower-named girl placed her headphones down and said a quick “i need some fresh air.” before storming out of the recording booth. daisy walked through god knows how many rooms, until she found an empty one in the back of the building, she sat on the floor and leaned against the door she had just walked through.

you dumb fucking idiot, she thought. now they're all going to think you´re singing about someone in the room, or even worse, that you've relapsed and can't record a damn song. she can't go through this again.

if the band thinking she was in love with billy dunne, when she's not even into men, was bad enough, them seeing her overreact this way is going to make them figure out she has been seeing someone.

there was a minute of silence while she tried to think of an excuse to say when she gets back into the studio, but it was all interrupted by a soft knock coming from the other side of the wooden door she has been leaning against.

“i'm fine, karen. just give me a second.” the blue-eyed girl said while running a hand through her long red hair.

“i'm not karen, but if you want me to go get her, i can do that.” her heart sank as she heard y/n's voice.

“no!” she heard her own voice answer in a quick desperate way. she grimaced at how pathetic she sounded.

“well, is it okay if i come in?”

one beat. two beats. daisy unlocked the door.

the photographer walked into the room and sat on the opposite side of the singer, facing her. “do you want to talk about it?”

“talk about what?”

the girl sighed and leaned her face against the palm of her right hand. “about what just happened. you don't normally walk out of a recording session, daisy. not ever. are you okay?” she asked as she looked straight into daisy's big blue eyes.

the singer stared back and bit her lip as she felt her eyes start to water. “i miss you.”

“daisy-”

“no.” she interrupted. “you say you love me but then decide to break up with me.” she says with a scoff. “without even letting me ask you what i did wrong. without even letting me try and fight for you. for us.” a tear streamed down her right cheek.

it took everything in the girl before her to not wipe it, the way she always did.

“listen, i understand being scared. do you think i'm not frightened of how the boys will react if they ever find out we are the way we are? but i didn't care as long as i had you. i know you have your doubts. but why did we have to hide from everyone? simone would never treat us differently. we both know she's a lesbian. just like you and i.” she pointed a finger at herself and the girl who now wouldn't dare to look her in the eye.

“karen wouldn't either, she's too busy minding her own fucking business to be disgusted by us. even camila wouldn't care, she'd be delighted to know i've never felt an ounce of love for her husband” daisy was fully crying now. god, she loved her girlfriend so much. why wasn't that enough for her?

“i left for that exact reason.”

“what?” she asked.

“you deserve someone who isn't afraid to love you. who isn't afraid of who she is.” y/n continued. “you know, billy and graham saw simone kiss her girlfriend at your birthday party” she said with a sarcastic laugh. “and they didn't give a single shit.” daisy was silent as she listened intently to her ex-girlfriend's voice.

“when simone realized they saw her, she told them they'd been together for over five years. and shit, they truly didn't care. even warren said it wasn't fair simone found a girlfriend way before he met lisa.” y/n played with the rings placed around her fingers to avoid eye contact. “the entire band knows about simone, and they think it's normal.”

daisy's heart was racing, she didn't know if it was excitement for simone, because her best friend was able to love her girlfriend without a care. or if it was happiness, because the rest accepting simone could only mean one thing. if the six don't care about simone and her girlfriend, then that means they won't care about her and y/n.

the photographer was silent for a while, so daisy decided to speak first. “i don't really understand. you left me because you're afraid of them knowing about us. but, you also know they wouldn't care if they find out?” the singer´s eyes scanned her ex girlfriend´s face, trying to find an answer.

“yeah… it's stupid.”

“damn right, it fucking is!” daisy sighed. “i love you. you love me. we can at least tell them and simone about our relationship.”

y/n was the one holding back tears now. “i want to. i truly do.”

“then what's stopping you?” her voice softened at the sight of the girl she loves the most crying in front of her.

“I can't openly love you, not when i can't even say… well, you know what.”

“god, y/n. you didn't tell me you were still struggling with that. i could've helped you.”

“i know you would've, but i didn't want to be a burden.” daisy slowly raised her arm and caressed y/n's cheek in the soft, loving way she always does. “you're not a burden. not ever. not to me.” the flower-named girl tucked the girl's hair behind her ear.

“i love you. i love you so fucking much, i can't breathe when i'm without you.” she continued. “you helped me when i was trying to recover from my addiction. you were there when i got out of rehab. you've helped me stay clean.”

“that was all you, daisy.”

“yeah, but you were next to me the entire time. the least i can do is be next to you, while you learn to accept yourself.” “it took me a while to come to terms with being a lesbian, too.” daisy said as she twirled a piece of y/n's hair around her finger.

“i used to think the only way i could make it into the industry was by not caring about men stealing my music because at least people would hear them. fuck, i forced myself to want them, the same way they wanted me. because that was the closest i thought i'd ever get to being loved.” “but that's not what love is. love is what you and i have.”

y/n placed her hand over daisy's. “i want to be brave, for you.”

“you already are. you just need to be brave for yourself. because you deserve it.”

“thank you, for everything.” y/n gave her a soft small smile. “you don't have to thank me for anything, seeing you smile is good enough for me.”

the two women locked eyes, and they just stared at each other for a small moment. y/n's hands began to shake with desperation, she craved the feeling of daisy against her. and suddenly, she felt a force pulling her towards the redhead girl, daisy placed her hands on both sides of y/n's waist, and instinctively, as if her body was made to be next to her's, y/n placed her hands behind daisy's neck, the same way she has done for the past few years, their bodies were pieces of a puzzle made to be together.

they both leaned into each other, they were so close, they could feel each other's noses rubbing together, daisy smiled at the sensation. “can i-” daisy started “you don't even have to ask.” the girl interrupted, before smashing her lips into the singer's.

their lips locked, the two women having been in the exact same position hundreds of times, but this was different. this kiss was about understanding, about forgiveness, about acceptance, about moving forward. it lasted a few more moments until they were out of breath and had to pull away.

“i love you, daisy jones.” the girl whispered against daisy's lips. “i love you, y/n l/n.” she answered with glossy, vibrant eyes. before getting back into her usual cocky self.

“well, not to spoil my amazing new song, which is going to be a hit, but there's a specific lyric i think you're going to like.” she said, trying to fight back a smile. y/n rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's antics.

“oh yeah? what is it?” daisy cupped y/n's cheeks and stared lovingly into her lover's eyes. “i've always been in love with you. could you tell it from the moment that i met you?” the redhead sang before kissing her beautiful girlfriend again, and again, and again.

daisy still had to finish recording her song, and they still had to explain what took the photographer so long to find her, but luckily, this time y/n wasn't afraid to tell them the truth.

we were reaching in the dark

that summer in new york

and it was so far to fall

but it didn't hurt at all.

#daisy jones imagine #daisy jones x reader #daisy jones and the six x reader #lesbian x reader #daisy jones angst #daisy jones fluff #x reader #fanfiction #daisy jones and the six imagine #daisy jones #daisy jones and the six

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dallysnecklace · 1 year

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i just wanna say i love your writing it's masterful

could you do a sleepy/cuddles Sodapop x fem!reader for my poor lonely soul please and thank you<3

“You work too much.”

Pairing: Sodapop Curtis x fem! Reader

Summary: To support yourself, you work multiple jobs. Your boyfriend starts to notice the toll this takes on you.

Warnings: Overworking, established relationship

A/N: Thank you so much for your kind words!! I’m so sorry this took me fucking forever, it got lost in my drafts but I found it!! I will never take this long

The phone rang as you hid away from the loud noise of the diner, tucked away in the corner. You had just worked a triple shift to be able to afford your rent this month, which you stupidly had put off for the last week.

“Hello?” A voice came through the line. Presumably Darry.

“Hey Darry, it’s Y/n. Is Soda there?” You said, being polite.

“Yeah I’ll get ‘im for you.” There was a pause. You twirled the cord around your finger, beginning to become anxious.

“Hey, Y/n. Everything okay?” Sodas voice said, softly.

“Yeah, I’m just tired and had a long day. Do you think you could pick me up? If not I totally get it-“

“Hey, it’s fine. I’ll be there in like 7 minutes.” He interrupted your nervous rant.

You let out a sigh of relief.

“Okay. Thank you so much.” You responded.

“Anything for my girl.” He said. You could picture his smile in your head.

“I love you, Soda.” You said, grateful for his presence in your life.

“Love you too, sweets.”

You put the phone back on the holder, and went to wait outside. It was a cold winter night, one you wished you could’ve enjoyed at home.

You left your home about 2 years ago when they weren’t supportive of you going to school. You had grew up in a strict household that unfortunately believed that women were worth less than men. Your family never took school seriously, and wanted to pull you out once you were 14. They believed that at that age, you were expected to start helping around the house, and start looking for a man to marry. But, over the years you really enjoyed school and wanted to pursue a life in academia. When you told your parents this, they kicked you out.

You moved a few towns over to Tulsa. You originally lived at Bucks, where you met Dallas. He wasn’t the nicest to you, but he eventually warmed up to you and even introduced you to the gang, where you met Soda. These boys seemed to understand your struggle of living alone and going to school. You finally felt like you had a group of people to support you, which you had never experienced before.

Suddenly you saw an old beat up car pull up, and a honk broke the sound of the crickets at night.

You hopped in the front seat, looking over to your boyfriend, who held a worried look.

“Hey sweets.” He said, grabbing your hand and kissing it.

“Hi.” You said, barely having enough energy to talk.

Sodapop took the message, and started to drive home. A comfortable silence wafted over to two of you as he drove back to his place. There was an unsaid agreement that you would be staying with him tonight.

On the way home, you fell asleep, lulled by the soft music playing and sodas humming.

Once you got to Sodas house, he woke you up, by picking you up bridal style and carrying you in.

Soda stepped in the doorway, to be greeted by Darry and Pony.

Darry looked up, “Hey, is she okay?” He questioned, worried for his brothers girlfriend. He really had grown attached to you, and was worried about you. He knew what it was like to have to work multiple jobs and take care of others.

Soda responded, “Yeah, she just needs to rest. Can she stay over tonight?”

“Of course, she can stay here whenever.” Darry responded, seeing you stir and start to wake up.

You woke up, at adjusted your eyes to peer upon Sodas chin, turned towards Darry.

“Hey, Thanks for letting me stay Dar.” You sleepily smiled, a blush on your cheeks from having Darry see Sodapop carrying you in.

“It’s always fine honey, you know that.” He walked back into the kitchen, leaving you and Soda alone.

He silently walked to his room, sitting you on his bed. He kneeled down onto one knee, taking your shoes off carefully. He stood back up, cupping your chin in his hand, and kissing your forehead.

“Do you want to change into something more comfortable?” He asked, making sure you were okay with it.

“Yeah.” You simply replied, causing him to get up and open his drawers, picking out a clean shirt for you to wear to bed.

He handed you the clothing, and you went to the bathroom to change.

“Jesus christ I’m tired.” you exclaimed, looking at your reflection in the mirror; noticing the dark circles acting as a shadow on your face.

You quickly changed, walking back to Sodas room. You were excited to finally get some rest. Tomorrow you weren't working, and school was out for the day. Finally a day to just relax.

As soon as you walked in, Soda took you into an embrace. You quickly melted in his arms, finally feeling like you could let go.

“Do you wanna go to bed?” He whispered.

You nodded into his chest, feeling him pick you up and place you on his bed. You got underneath the covers feeling at peace. You felt the bed dip beside you, and felt Sodas two arms pull you in, letting your head rest on his chest.

You didn’t really feel like talking, so you just held him tighter and kissed his exposed collarbone; a sign of your gratification. He dipped his head down, pulling you head up by his hand on your chin and kissed your lips softly, but filled with love.

“You work too much.” He whispered against you lips, kissing them quickly once again, “Maybe you should just live with us. You wouldn’t have to worry about rent and could focus on school.”

You looked up at him, ready to argue against his kindness, but decided against it. You were lucky you had this kind of support system.

“Thank you.” You whispered, kissing his jawline quickly, settling your head into his neck.

“I love you sweets.” He said as he rested his head back into the pillows.

“I love you too.” You responded back, in an instant.

You smiled, and rested your head against his chest again. He was so warm. Perfect for this cold winter night, and although you weren’t able to spend the whole night with him, you were forever grateful for these small moments before the both of you drift into sleep.

#the outsiders #writing #the outsiders imagine #the outsiders oneshot #the outsiders x reader #sodapop x reader #sodapop imagine #the outsiders sodapop #Sodapop cuteness #sodapop curtis #sodapop patrick curtis #dallysnecklace

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btsgotjams27 · 1 year

Text

this is us ~ jjk | 10

jungkook finally admits what’s been on his mind.

✨ title: this is us | (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, bff's younger brother ✨ playlist ✨ a/n: if you haven’t read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) you can read them here on AO3 & Wattpad

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] | next ✨ 11 ~ the call

chapter ten ~ a blast from the past: part three | wc: 10.3k warnings: mentions of dick pics, language, reader catches up with an old flame, Alex is a menace again, reader slaps Alex, angst, angst, hard conversations, tears, tears and more tears

The following day, you received a random text while checking your phone. Staring at it for a while, debating on what to reply.

Jungkook was still in the shower, singing beautifully at the top of his lungs. You immensely missed his singing voice.

Imma leave the door open (imma leave the door open)

Imma leave the door open girl (imma leave the door open, hoping)

That you feel the way I feel

And you want me like I want you tonight, baby

You giggled at his passion. You imagined him with bubbles in his hair, holding onto the shampoo bottle, like he was putting on a private show for himself.

La-la-la, la-la-la-la (I need you, baby).

He continued humming the rest of the song before shutting off the water, which snapped you back to reality, remembering to respond to the text you received.

When he walked into the bedroom, he was still indistinctly singing away, flashing a smile when he saw you sitting with crazy bedhead hair.

God, he looked so good after a shower. It was something you'd never be over.

"Morning..." you said coyly, trying not to sound weird about what you would tell him, but he could tell something was up.

"Hi..." Jungkook remarked with a cocked eyebrow, sliding open the closet door and grabbing a navy blue crewneck sweater.

"So...my ex-boyfriend texted me," you said sheepishly, avoiding his gaze.

"U-jin?!" his eyes widened, the towel on his waist nearly slipping from his hand. "That jerk?! I'll beat his ass."

You waved your hand, indicating a hell no. "No, not him. Gross. The one before him."

"Baby...how many boyfriends did you have before me?" he joked.

Honestly, he didn't care. You could have had a string of guys, but he wanted to be your last - hopefully.

"Stop--I didn't have that many...Kenji is an ex from college."

You never needed to explain your past to Jungkook, nor did he bother to ask. You'd tell him if he was curious. You were an open book with nothing to hide - well, about men, at least.

"...what about him?" he asked, not caring now that he knew it wasn't U-jin. Then he went back to picking out his outfit for work.

"He said he wanted to catch up."

It was so out of the blue that even you were intrigued by his text. And you were clearly in love with Jungkook, so you didn't see any reason why it would be wrong to see him after all these years.

"Oh, okay," he shrugged. "Go for it."

Your eyebrow quirked up. "You're fine with it?" You thought there would be a bit more pushback from him. You were sad that there wasn't even an ounce of curiosity or jealousy about Kenji.

He smiled. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're not jealous or anything?"

He chuckled, setting his sweater down on the bed and making his way over to you. "Do you want me to be jealous?"

Jungkook was jealous, alright. An ex wanting to "catch up"? But he was hardly able to say anything to you about exes.

You smiled abashedly. "No...I'm glad you trust me."

Jungkook tucked his towel to secure it. Then he cupped your face. "I love you," placing a kiss on your lips, "I trust you. I know I have nothing to worry about."

It's him that you need to worry about.

"I love you too."

"...so, what does he look like?"

You laughed. You knew something was up with Jungkook, that he wouldn't just let you slide that easy.

You started to ramble, "Oh my god, he's the best sex I ever had, he had the biggest dick I've ever seen, and he made me come ten times in one night---"

"Yah--yah! Now, I know you're lying! Ten times in one night? What is he, a psycho?!" Jungkook cried.

Scrolling through your phone, you pretend to look for non-existent photos. "Here, I'll show you dick pics. It's fucking huge," you teased again just to see his reaction.

Jungkook sat down, trying to steal your phone, but you held it out of reach. "Yah! Yah! The only dick pics you need are mine."

Jungkook insisted on driving you to your meeting with Kenji, probably to try and get a glimpse of him or something, but you didn't mind.

"So, what's he like?" Jungkook asked meekly, eyes on the road in front of him.

"Who? Kenji?"

He hummed.

"In college, he was such a babe. He was also sweet and caring but always haunted by his past. He didn't have the best home life, you know?" you paused, "And so, we kind of bonded over that."

"Why did you guys break up?"

"He cheated on me with an actress he was working with," you shrugged. It happened so long ago that you didn't care much because you were different back then. "Guess I wasn't the muse he was looking for," you chuckled lightly.

Jungkook mouthed an oh. Fuck, he thought. This Kenji guy cheated on you too?

You leaned over, kissing Jungkook, opening the car door as he dropped you off in front of the breakfast spot. He rolled down his window, calling out to you, "Baby."

"Yes, boyfriend?"

"Can we talk later?"

Your expression softened, "Of course." You wondered when he would be ready to say what was on his mind. You mumbled, 'I love you,' before turning around.

"Baby," Jungkook called out again. You turned back, eyebrows quirked, humming in response. "Behave," he teased.

You chuckled, shaking your head, holding out your pinky, linking it to his. "Promise."

It's been ten years since you last saw your ex-boyfriend, Kenji. You'd consider him your first love. He was a few years older than you and working towards becoming a writer/director, so the two of you had much in common.

He was charming, gorgeous, and overall a beautiful human, but he was a tormented soul, and it came out in his writing and films. He was the definition of a bad boy with the worst habits, though you wouldn't think so when you first set your eyes on him. A bit surprising now to look back and see you with this type of guy, and no one would peg you falling for someone like him.

When you got to the restaurant, you recognized him instantly, and it looked like he had already started the party without you.

You rolled your eyes, walking over to the table. "Having fun already?"

The table was filled with a few bottles of wine and champagne glasses; it was only nine in the morning. He reeked of cigarettes, which you always hated, but he still looked so good after all these years.

When he found your eyes, a tiny flicker of butterflies suddenly found its way into your stomach, and it seemed like you had stepped back in time to the 23-year-old you.

He stood up and greeted you with a kiss on the cheek and a hug. "Ugh, I've missed you so much." He held your hands, pulling away to get a better look, shifting his gaze to you, raking from head to toe. "Mm..."

You hit him on the arm, urging him to stop his thoughts of trying to get back together. "Kenji--I have a boyfriend. Behave yourself." You needed to clarify if he had other things on his mind.

Kenji groaned. "What a lucky man, then. I'm so jealous of whoever he is." He smirked, gesturing for you to sit in the seat across from him. "You look so good, baby."

You rolled your eyes again. "What did I just say? Hmm?" you said, placing your purse next to you.

He threw up his hands. "Okay, okay, okay. I'll stop."

You shook your head, smiling to yourself. He was always like this - flirty, suave, cheeky. One of the many ways he swept you off of your feet.

After a few glasses of wine in the early morning and chit-chatting about life, you wanted to understand why he contacted you. He kept rambling on and on about an actress that he was working with, but you interrupted.

"Kenji, why did you ask me to come here today? I know you, and you always have something up your sleeve."

"I can't get anything past you, huh?"

You shook your head. "Well, go on..."

Kenji cleared his throat. "Someone passed your script along to me and asked if I wanted to be a part of the project."

Oh. You definitely were not expecting to hear that from him. "And you're here to ask for my permission?"

He nodded. "I know when we parted ways, we promised not to be involved in each other's lives even if they happen to cross, but I love your script, and it would be an honor to work with you."

You were taken aback by his compliment. You knew it took a lot for Kenji to compliment anyone's work, especially yours.

"What do you say, baby?"

You glared at the pet name. "How long do I have to think about it?"

"A week. If you don't say yes to me, then they're considering Choi Won-shik. I think he showed interest too."

You cringed at the name because he was the worst director to work with possibly. You'd heard horror stories from other writers and actors. At this point, Kenji was the better option.

"Well, you have my number, and I hope you say yes."

While breakfast was over, you stood outside the restaurant with Kenji, the both of you waiting for your taxis.

Your eyes flickered to his. "Why?"

Kenji laughed. "Why what? Why did I pick your script?"

You hummed.

"Because you're brilliant, I was drawn to the characters. They're so flawed, tragic, passionate, and so in love, it makes me sick."

You scoffed. "You're making fun of me, huh? Because you hate all that stuff."

He shook his head, holding out his left hand, showing off his wedding ring.

"You got married."

Huh? You wouldn't have pegged him to be the kind of guy to settle down.

"I'm off the market. Got two kids too."

"I'm happy for you, Kenji. You deserve it."

"Thanks, baby--" you glared at him again, "Sorry, habit. And what about you and your boyfriend? Gonna tie the knot any time soon?"

"Me and Jungkook?"

Obviously, the two of you had been together long enough that the thought crept up and lingered on your mind way too often, but who knows what the future holds?

"Mm, I don't know, maybe one day."

Kenji's expression softened. "You deserve to be happy too. I'm serious bab--sorry, " he cleared his throat, hoping his accidental pet names wouldn't hinder your decision, "Please think about it. You know we'd be unstoppable together."

Jungkook wanted to avoid work like the plague, but there was no way out, not when the new game was in its beginning stages of production.

He closed his office door, fearing Alex could walk in at any moment and start her shenanigans again. He couldn't have a repeat of the night at karaoke. Jungkook was already beating himself up every second that he was awake. He couldn't bear the thought of facing you, but he knew he'd have to eventually. It was eating him up, keeping this secret from you, but he could already see the outcome of it.

And as Jungkook expected, he peered up from his screen to find Alex standing outside his office, quietly knocking, waiting to see if he'd be willing to see her. He quickly averted his eyes back to his screen, but as Alex does what she does best, she comes in anyway.

He sighed. "Why are you here?" he asked, crossing his arms and leaning back into his chair.

Alex timidly walked in his direction. "Can I sit? In the chair, of course."

Jungkook rolled his eyes, remembering how she sat in his lap the other day. "You're just going to sit wherever you want anyway."

She decided to stop playing games with him and sat in the chair facing his desk. "I'm sure you already heard about the lead game developer position at the new headquarters in LA."

He shrugged. "Yeah, so. What about it?"

"I'm here to convince you to take it."

Jungkook scoffed. "And why would I do that?"

Alex leaned forward. "Because...you're the best person for the job, Kook."

He went back to clicking around on his computer screen, even though he had already answered all his emails and tasks for the morning. There was no way in hell he'd leave, especially if Alex had anything to do with it. He didn't want anything to do with her after the stunt she pulled.

Alex stood up from the chair. She kept her distance because she knew he was probably still worked up from the other night. And she was right, hence him rolling back a bit in his office chair.

"Jungkook...I'm sorry about what happened at karaoke. I...don't know what came over me. You were uncomfortable, and I should have stopped."

He glared at her. Should he believe her apology? When has she ever done anything without it benefitting her?

"It's just that I hadn't seen you in so long, and I missed you, and everything we had while in college came flooding back...and then when Jin told me you were going to bring your girlfriend, I'll admit. I was jealous because she was getting the new and improved Jungkook."

He scoffed and shook his head at her sad attempt to justify her actions. She could have handled it like a grown adult instead of a childish ex-girlfriend or whatever she was. "So you knew I had a girlfriend? And you still did what you did?"

"I'm not perfect, Jungkook. You know that by now."

Still, it was no excuse, he thought. But he also wasn't in the clear either. He still touched her, kissed her, and thought about her too much these past few days.

"Don't pass up this opportunity because of me. You were given the 'Rising Star award for a reason Kook." She took a step back, giving him space to hopefully think about the job offer. She stood up and started to walk towards the door. While holding it open, she stopped and glanced back at him. "Promise me you'll think about it, okay?"

He didn't respond, quickly peering up and then back at his computer screen.

After she was gone, Jungkook exhaled a big breath, one he didn't know he was holding in.

Leave for a job in LA? No way, he thought. His life was in Seoul with you, his sister, and an upcoming niece or nephew. Those were the things he was looking forward to. But as the inevitable conversation that needed to happen was coming up, the things Jungkook was looking forward to were becoming desolate.

Catching up with Kenji was fun. It was nice to see a familiar face. But throughout the day, you couldn't stop thinking about his offer. Kenji is an obvious genius but would you be able to work professionally with your ex? People did it all the time, as you saw happen plenty of times while working in the entertainment industry. His offer was irresistible, considering the alternative director who wanted your project.

"Hey, can we talk?" Jungkook blurted as soon as you walked through the door. He was pacing back and forth, impatiently waiting for you. He had left work early because he needed to come home and prep himself for the most significant conversation the two of you would have.

"Hi. Hello, it's nice to see you too," you teased before setting your bag down and taking off your shoes. You didn't expect him to want to talk to you right as soon as you walked in the door.

Jungkook walked over, pressing a kiss on your lips before apologizing for being so abrupt just a moment ago. But he couldn't wait any longer, and keeping this secret from you was eating him up.

"What's up? Are you breaking up with me or something because I met up with my ex?" you asked teasingly.

Jungkook let out a half-hearted chuckle, knowing after what he was about to tell you that you might never want to talk to him again or, worse, break up with him.

"No, no...that's not it." He took your hand, pulling you over to the couch, and his appearance became somber, which twisted your expression.

"What's wrong? You're scaring me." Your eyes looked at his, searching for an answer, but it was hard to tell what he was thinking. It's been like that these past few days.

He shook his head, shifting his position on the couch to make himself more comfortable. His lips began quivering as he tried to get the words to tell you what's been going on with him. He kept shifting towards you, then away from you, repeating a few times. Jungkook brought your hand and set it on top of his, gently caressing it, letting him know it was okay - that whatever he needed to say would all be okay.

Jungkook inhaled a few deep breaths, closing his eyes and trying his best to ready himself for this conversation. He loudly cleared his throat, mustering the courage to spit it out finally. "You remember when I went out to karaoke with Jin-hyung and invited you, but you couldn't make it?"

"Yeah," you said with a smile, "...what about it? Did you do something you regret? Like pick the wrong song?" you joked with him.

"Baby...I'm being serious here."

"Ah--okay, sorry," you held your hands up, telling him you'll stop, "Go on. I'm all ears."

"Well...we took a colleague out to karaoke because they've never been to Seoul and wanted to show them a good time."

"Right..."

"And the colleague just happens to be my ex-girlfriend from college."

You tilted your head, briefly remembering the name in the text - Alex. You supposed that name could be unisex. You automatically assumed it was a guy, but it was a girl who happened to be Jungkook's ex-girlfriend. You didn't say anything and just mouthed an 'oh.'

You should have gone to karaoke.

"She suddenly showed up at my workplace out of nowhere, and I didn't even know she worked for our company, and you know...Jin-hyung being Jin-hyung, he invited her out to karaoke, again wanting to show her a good time in Seoul, and that's why I asked if you wanted to go out. Then you texted back saying you couldn't make it, and then---" he speedily said all this before stopping.

"And then what?" you asked as your eyebrows drew together in confusion.

Jungkook lowered his head. He didn't want to say the next part, but he knew he had to.

"And then what, Jungkook?" you asked again with a firmer tone.

He couldn't even look you in the eye, so you felt whatever he had to say wasn't good. Jungkook licked his lips, bringing his hand to cover his mouth, before groaning. He was in pure agony over the following few words he'd have to spit out.

But you almost didn't want to hear what Jungkook had to say because you didn't want your illusion of him being the perfect boyfriend to be destroyed.

So you did it for him. "Did you kiss her?" It was the only logical thing you could think of to make Jungkook so scared of sharing his feelings these past few days, and it would explain his behavior.

Fuck. It hurt even to ask that question, and this was like Kenji and U-jin all over again.

The silence in the air was deafening.

"She--she cornered me, and I don't know what happened, but I just kind of froze," he paused for a beat, "and then I touched her."

You felt like the silence in the room was mocking you, laughing in your face. It was as if there wasn't enough shit being piled on top of your life. The world said, "hey, you can handle one more shitty thing, can't you?" You didn't know if you were dreaming or if this was all a prank that life was pulling on you.

She cornered him? Is Jungkook putting the blame on her right now?

You looked around the room, then back at Jungkook and your heart sank to the pit of your stomach. He touched her? Where? You didn't even wanna go there, but your mind already did.

And he just froze? How does someone freeze up in a moment like that? Jungkook must be twice her size, and something wasn't connecting.

"Say something," Jungkook muttered quietly while trying to gauge your reaction.

Honestly, you were shocked, trying to wrap your mind around what he had just told you. "Tell me again. Tell me what happened again."

Jungkook frowned. He didn't want to and didn't want to recount the shitty thing he didn't stop from happening. The guilt had been eating away at him for days, so much so that he could barely keep any food down. This was the last thing he ever wanted to happen.

He chewed on his bottom lip before recounting what happened between him and Alex. Even though he repeated the story more clearly and concisely. The only thing you felt was a deep ache in your heart.

This is what you were afraid of - history repeating itself.

He stared at you, studying your face, wondering when you let go of his hand and if he should retake it, but he decided against it. "Baby..."

You grunted at him, not returning his gaze, instead staring at a dust bunny that collected underneath your coffee table. You couldn't dare look at him now for fear of bursting into tears.

He reached up, cupping your cheek, gently caressing it, making you turn to him. Jungkook saw your lips trembling, tears threatening to fall from the corners of your eyes. You were biting the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from making an agonizing cry.

Of all people, you never thought Jungkook would ever be the one to hurt you. You'd thought it would be the other way around, and there was still time for that.

Neither of you was perfect, and it may be time to stop putting Jungkook on a pedestal. Just because he treated you better than your previous boyfriends doesn't mean you wouldn't disappoint each other at one point.

"What's going on? What's on your mind? Please talk to me."

Jungkook was desperate. Desperate to hear anything from you at this point. Even if it would hurt to hear that you hated him, he'd rather hear that than say that you didn't want to be with him.

"Kenji. U-jin. Jungkook. You know what they all have in common?"

He looked at you with remorse in his eyes. It stung Jungkook to hear you mention your exes' names in the same sentence as his. He didn't want to be compared to them, and he knew he was better than them, or so he thought. He shook his head no, clenching his jaw, unsure of what you'd say, though he had an inkling feeling.

"You're all the same," you confessed. You knew it was unfair to compare Jungkook to Kenji and U-jin. It was hard not to when you kept choosing men who continued to crave attention from other people who were not you.

Jungkook shook his head. "No, no. I'm not like your exes."

You scoffed. "Either you're all the same, or there's something wrong with me. Take your pick," your eyes began to glisten, your voice going up an octave. "Why else would the three guys I've been with all cheat on me?... That's it, isn't it? It's me. What else could it possibly be?" you repeatedly nodded, starting to believe it was you after all.

It hit him like a ton of bricks, but he figured you were implying that he cheated on you. The line was blurry to him, a gray area, and he didn't consider it cheating. But he now understood your definition of it.

"But I didn't---"

"Didn't what, Jungkook? Feel her up?" You jerked away from his embrace, leaving space in between.

"She made me---"

Your eyes widened. "Alex didn't make you do anything you didn't want to," voice raised just a smidge. You couldn't believe him, shifting the blame back on her.

He could've stopped her, but he didn't. He let it happen, and he'll never forgive himself for it.

"I'm sorry-"

"Is--is that why you fucked me like a madman the other night?"

Your mind wandered back, your heart pounding at the thought of Jungkook touching someone else just before fucking you.

His silence spoke volumes. He didn't need to say anymore to prove that you were right.

"I gotta go, Kook. I can't be in the same room as you right now," you said. Your lungs were filled to their capacity, and the breaths in your throat caught as you took small gasps of air, trying your best to suck up any signs of crying.

Rushing to the door, slipping on your shoes and coat, you grabbed your keys when Jungkook called out to you and tried to stop you from leaving, but you argued for him to let you go or else you'd scream.

After slamming the door closed, Jungkook cried, falling to the floor and punching the ground before him. He debated if he should run after you and try to talk to you, but maybe the two of you needed space to calm down and think clearly because, right now, all emotions were clouding both of your judgments.

You sat outside of Yuna's for thirty minutes, silently sobbing into the crook of your arm. You could hear a few passersby whispering, but their opinions of you didn't matter - nothing did at the moment. It felt like nothing could mend the heartache you felt.

Feeling desolate and hopeless about everything happening in your life, your first instinct was to hide - to run away, but you knew that wouldn't solve anything. Instead, you went to the one person who was like home to you.

Staring at the name on the screen, you finally mustered up the courage to press the dial button.

"Yuna." You heard a soft groan from the other end of the call. "Sorry, babe, did I wake you?"

"Mm, I'm up. What's going on?"

"Can I come up? I'm outside of your place."

Yuna began shuffling from under the covers. "Everything okay?"

"I'll tell you when I get there."

Quietly, you knocked on her door, and when she opened it, she found you with mascara running, a reddened nose with sniffles, and the saddest smile she's ever seen on you.

She gasped, holding her arms for you, pulling you into an embrace, cradling you as a mother would. Her baby bump was beginning to show, so you made sure to be gentle when hugging her.

The two of you sat on her couch. You lay in her lap near her belly, arms wrapped around her as she gently caressed your hair. She didn't ask you anything. She just sat there, ready when you were.

You stared blankly through her window, watching the city lights twinkle away like nothing was wrong, but that was hardly the case for you. Everything was wrong.

Finally, you sat up, leaning back against the leather couch and turning to Yuna. "Make me a promise."

She nodded. "Yeah, of course, anything."

You sighed. "Promise me you won't kill your brother."

Her eyes widened, giving you a 'what did he do this time' look. She straightened, clearing her throat. She'd wait for you to explain before she went on full blast.

"Why would I kill my brother? I mean, I can name a million reasons, but please don't tell me he did something stupid."

You hesitated to tell her, switching between licking your lips and biting the inside of your cheek, a nervous habit you came to have. She stared blankly, waiting for you to continue.

There could only be one of two reactions: Yuna would calmly and rationally think about what you just told her, or she would go ballistic and throw something. Your money was on the latter.

"Jungkook kissed his ex-girlfriend," you could already see Yuna getting worked up, her chest heaving, smoke fuming from her ears, but you stopped her because you weren't done. "And, he also felt her up."

"That little motherfucker! I'm going to kill him!"

"You just said you wouldn't kill him."

"Well, I lied!" Yuna proceeded to get up, but with a baby growing in her belly, it was taking a toll on her physically. She used the armrest to push herself off, rushing to her room. "Joonie!" she cried out for Namjoon.

You stood, peering in the direction of her room. "Yu--Yuna! What are you doing?"

"Joonie! Wake up!" she cried out again, holding a sweater, reappearing from her bedroom. "Namjoon is going to hold Jungkook down while I kick my brother in the balls!" she said. "And he can't do anything to me because I'm pregnant."

Namjoon woke up, hair all disheveled, rubbing his eyes, completely confused by all the commotion. "What's going on?"

"We're going to go kill my brother," Yuna deadpanned.

You'd never seen your best friend this serious before.

Namjoon hadn't realized you were also standing in the middle of their living room. He abashedly covered his chest with his hands, walking over to his wife. "What?" he asked, gritting through his teeth.

"Yuna, stop. Please. It's late, and you're pregnant. Namjoon, go back to bed. Your wife is being irrational."

"Explain to me how you're the rational one right now. And how you're not strangling my brother?"

"Trust me. No one wants to strangle him more than I do, but Yuna, come on, sit down."

Namjoon cleared his throat. "Well, uh, if you guys don't need me, then I'm going back to bed."

Yuna sat on the couch, grabbing a pillow and shrieking into it before looking at you. "I hate him. Wha--what possible excuse could he have given you for doing what he did?"

You shrugged. "You remember how you felt when you saw Danny after all those years?" Yuna nodded. "And all the emotions you had when you were with him? How everything just comes flooding back to you? And somehow you feel like you're the exact age when you were with them?"

Yuna hummed. "So? That's no excuse for kissing an ex or feeling them up. Are you trying to justify what he did?"

You shook your head. "No, I'm not. I'm just trying to put myself in his shoes. Because... because I also saw an ex today."

"I'm sorry, what?" Yuna's eyes bugged out. "You saw U-jin?"

"No...why does everyone think I'd see his sorry ass again. No, I saw Kenji."

"Kenji?! Like your first love Kenji? You didn't kiss him or grab his dick or anything, did you?"

"What? Yuna, no. We talked about work stuff. You know how he's a director, and he came across my script. He asked if I'd be willing to work with him."

"And what did you say?"

"I told him I'd think about it."

"Geez...first Jungkook's ex, and now yours? Who's next?" Yuna ran her hands through her hair, "I still want to kill him, by the way. He's lucky I'm pregnant."

The two of you let out a half-hearted laugh.

"So, what are you gonna do now?" Yuna asked. You shrugged, pulling her in for a hug. She laid against your chest, wrapping her arms around you.

That was the big question, wasn't it?

Honestly, you didn't know the answer. Your head and your heart was at war with one another. The obvious answer whenever someone cheats is to leave, for fear of it happening again, but Jungkook wasn't just anyone.

You hadn't verbalized it yet, not even to Jungkook - to simply put it. He had unexpectedly become the love of your life. You didn't know if anyone could ever top him.

With Kenji and U-jin, it was a no-brainer to leave, except that wasn't the case with Jungkook. You were completely head over heels in love with this man. Even dreaming of a future with him, whatever it may look like.

"I'm not opposed to kicking him in the balls," you said, letting out a sad chuckle, tears threatening to fall again. "I love him, Yuna. I love him so much that my heart hurts. I've never felt this way about anyone, but why is it that this one hurts so much more than any other heartache I've had before? I need someone to physically rip my heart out because I don't want to feel this deep pain, this deep groaning inside my body. I want to scream and sob and punch a wall all at the same time," you said shakily, wiping away the tears falling from the corners of your eyes. "Because honestly, I don't know what to do. Please tell me what I should do."

Yuna looked up at you, shifting into a sitting position, holding you again, cradling your face against the crook of her neck, softly shushing you. "I don't know, but whatever you decide, just know I'll fully support you one hundred percent."

Before returning to your place, you asked Yuna if Jungkook was still at home or had returned to his apartment. You didn't know if you could face seeing Jungkook again without crying, and he said he wanted to stay at yours until you returned so the two of you could work things out. It would take more than just one conversation to get through this.

"Just stay here tonight, then. Knowing Kook, he'll wait up all night."

Yuna texted her brother, letting him know the plan in case he would wait until you come back.

And so, you did. You stayed at Yuna and Namjoon's, trying to figure out your emotions, what to say, and how the two of you could move on, if you could even do so. The thought of not having Jungkook in your life almost felt unbearable. Yuna and Jungkook are all you've known your whole life, and the possibility of Jungkook not being in it anymore was like not being able to breathe.

You knew the risks of getting involved with Jungkook, but now you were beginning to wonder if it was worth it. You had no one to blame but yourself. Maybe it would have been better if the two of you were just friends, but how could you ever be friends with Jungkook? Even if you decided to part ways, you would always be in each other's lives because of Yuna. It would be a matter of if you could handle being in his life without being a part of it.

Your stomach twisted and turned at the thought of seeing him with someone else who wasn't you, someone else making him happy, making him laugh and moan their name.

As much as you tried to sleep, your mind wouldn't let you. It only led you further down a rabbit hole too deep you couldn't dig yourself out of.

The following day, you figured you'd overstayed your welcome. You were beyond grateful for their hospitality, but it was time to face reality. Yuna was still asleep when you were ready to leave. You found Namjoon sitting at the dining table with a coffee mug and the newest book he indulged in.

"Hey Namjoon, thanks for letting me crash here last night."

He beamed a warm smile. "You're welcome anytime. You know that, right?"

You nodded. "Well, I should head out. Say bye to Yuna for me?"

Namjoon cleared his throat. "Wait," he said, his hand reaching out mid-air. Quickly, you turned back. "I know you and Jungkook are going through a rough time, and it's not my place to tell you what to do. And please don't think I'm trying to defend Jungkook's actions, but I've never seen the two of you so happy before, and I'm rooting for you guys."

A tremulous smile was on your face. "Thanks, Namjoon. I really appreciate you and Yuna. You both mean so much to me, and I don't know what I'd do without you."

His eyes nervously flit to his book and then back to you. "Let us know if you need anything. We're here for you."

You had hoped that Jungkook was at work when you returned to your apartment. You weren't ready to face him and the impending follow-up conversation the two of you needed to have.

Quietly unlocking your door, you peeked in to see if there were any signs of Jungkook. Your eyes peered around before fully entering.

"Hello? Jungkookie?" you announced, but there was no answer.

Walking towards your kitchen, there was a note on the counter.

Hey baby. Missed you last night. Gonna be stuck at work all day. See you tonight? Love you.

You loved his handwritten notes, he could easily text you, but you appreciate the time he'd take to write them out.

He had left the apartment spotless like he usually does. Dishes were washed and put away, and no clothes anywhere except hanging. Even the semi-sad plants were beginning to blossom.

Heading to the bathroom to check out the mess on your face, you wiped the black mascara that was evidence of your crying from last night. You figured a warm shower would help ease you into a good rhythm for the day, but all you could think about was Jungkook, which started another sob fest while underneath the warm water.

After another good cry, you wandered to your living room, figuring out what to do. The pause on pre-production for your show gave you too much time on your hands, and without work, you felt unproductive.

A sudden buzzing from the kitchen had you curious since your phone was on the coffee table in front of you. Searching for the buzzing noise, you realize Jungkook had forgotten his phone, and even though the pair of you weren't really on speaking terms at the moment, you figured he would need it. You called Jin to meet you in the lobby, but once you arrived, the receptionist told you to meet him upstairs.

You pushed the elevator button to the tenth floor with your guest pass. It would be nice to see Jungkook since it would only be for a minute or so, but then again, you weren't sure how to act around him. Would you kiss him? Hug him? Would it just be super awkward?

As the elevator's door opened, Jin was already awaiting your arrival. "Ah, well, look who it is. My favorite writer," he teased.

"Ha-ha. Very funny, Mr. Worldwide Handsome," you said, walking out of the elevator, pushing Jungkook's phone against his chest for him to take. "I'm just here to drop off Jungkook's phone, and then I'm leaving."

"Nuh-uh. Why am I doing your dirty work? You give it to him. He's your boyfriend, not mine," Jin said.

You wondered if Jin knew what was going on with you and Jungkook. The two of them were close and considering that Jin had seen him recently, maybe Jungkook spilled his guts to his hyung.

You grunted at Jin's comment.

"He's in a meeting right now," Jin looked at his watch, "but he'll be done in twenty minutes, give or take. Keep me company until then?" he asked.

Well, you didn't have anything better to do anyway. Even though you and Jungkook were in a weird fighting/arguing period, you missed him. It hurt to be away from him even though you were still upset.

Jin rambled on while you walked beside him. You nodded along, pretending to understand everything he was going on about. Someone whisked beside you, brushing past, waving someone down, shouting out a name that sent a shiver down your spine: Alex.

You tugged on Jin's sweater, forcing him to stop. "Is that Alex?" you whispered.

Jin froze in place, clearing his throat. "Yeah, that's her. Why?" He knew why or at least had an idea of what happened, but he felt this would be an interesting afternoon.

You didn't answer him. Instead, your eyes narrowed, a wave of anger filled inside you, smoke fuming from your bright red ears. You stomped your way over to this woman who was at least a foot shorter than you. Well, at least that's what it felt like. Your chest felt heavy, your head a little dizzy, but your eyes were locked on your target.

"Yah--where are you going--" Jin whispered-yelled, following closely behind you.

She was covering her mouth so innocently from laughing at a joke that an intern must have told. It made you scoff.

Innocent? Yeah right.

Kissing your boyfriend? Making him touch her?

Hardly fucking innocent.

You weren't sure what to say or do, but you needed to do something. Your mind racing with curses and threats, but you were never the confronting type.

When you reached Alex, you realized she wasn't much smaller than you, practically the same height and build. She was puzzled as you stood in front of her. She looked at you from head to toe, waiting for you to say something.

She asked, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. "Can I help you?"

"Stay the fuck away from my boyfriend," you hissed at her.

She chuckled. "Sweetheart, I don't even know who your boyfriend is."

Sweetheart? You wanted to fucking punch her in the face right then and there. You hated when someone younger called you pet names like a grandmother would their grandchildren.

"That's Jungkook's girlfriend..." Winnie, the intern, leaned over and whispered to her.

"You're Jungkook's girlfriend?" she asked smugly, giving you a once-over. "Aren't you, like, forty? Surprised Jungkook likes old ladies."

Her stupid comment warranted a punch to her face, right?

"I'll stay away, but maybe it's him you should be keeping on a leash."

You scoffed, and Alex had some nerve to think that Jungkook would do anything to hurt you again intentionally.

"He likes that, ya know," she chuckled and winked, then turned to Winnie to continue their conversation, pretending you didn't exist.

Jin tried grasping your arm, but you turned around, staring at him to back off. He threw his hands up, knowing he shouldn't stand in your way. Because once something or someone made you upset, there was no stopping you.

"How dare you make a move on him, knowing he had a girlfriend!" you exclaimed. You're unsure where this ounce of confidence came from, but it was too late to back off now.

She faced you again, another smug grin on her face. "Did Jungkook tell you how much he loved touching me? I could feel him getting so fucking hard for me. I was so wet because of those delicious fingers. I've missed them so much." She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes before opening them again, flashing a smirk.

Good god, she was a masochist. She was saying all these things just to get a rise out of you, and she was succeeding. You could feel the heat rising in your chest and onto your cheeks. You clenched your fist and bit your lip so hard it could bleed.

"You should be on your fucking knees, worshiping me," Alex cocked her eyebrow, leaning closer in your direction. "He didn't know how to do anything in the bedroom, but thanks to me, he fucks you so well because I taught him how to."

She began to inch even closer, staring directly into your eyes, with no intention of letting up. "God, I fucking miss him so much. How he tasted on my lips, how his fat cock filled me up to the brim...he'd let me do anything to him. I'd tease him for hours, and he'd still beg for more."

She continued taunting you, explicitly telling you graphic details you didn't want to hear. Her eyes fluttered shut at her own words. "Whenever I fuck someone now, I imagine it's him. When I touch myself, all I see is him." Her eyes opened to see tears beginning to well up in yours, your lips quivering, trying to swallow back your tears.

You couldn't believe that a stupid girl like her could make you feel insecure about yourself. She was shoving these images down your throat, and you couldn't find the words to stop her. A part of you now understood why Jungkook froze in her presence.

"Does he like to fuck your throat too? I get shivers just thinking about his fat cock hitting the back of my throat over and over again." She leaned in even more, so close you could feel her breath on you. "I bet you can't fuck him as well as I can."

She knew what she was doing, trying to rile you up, but you couldn't handle it anymore. She was wrong about all the filthy things she was saying about Jungkook. He was precious, gentle, and sweet, and there was no way he had learned all these things from her.

A crisp snap filled the air, along with gasps from several people. Alex's cheek unveiled a red mark. She turned back towards you with an arrogant smile plastered across her face. She soothed the red spot that now covered her ivory skin. You could tell she liked mocking you and saying all these nasty things about Jungkook.

"Should I keep going?" she smirked. "I can write a whole fucking novel about Jeon Jungkook."

"Keep Jungkook's name out of your fucking mouth, you stupid bitch."

She was practically eye to eye with you, egging you on, wanting to see how far you'd go for him. "I wonder how often he's thought about me when he's with you."

You were fuming at this point, your fists clenched and ready to sock her in the face. The stupid slap wasn't enough to shut her up at this point. Suddenly Jin pulled you away by the waist. You were screaming and yelling at him to put you down, and all you could see was a smug smile on Alex's face as he dragged you away.

He brought you into an empty hallway where no one could see you. You were essentially sobbing - making a complete fool of yourself at Jungkook's workplace after hearing all the things Alex said about him. You were a fool to think you were ready to face Jungkook and believe your emotions wouldn't cloud your judgment.

Jin pulled you in for a hug, softly shushing you and telling you everything would be okay. Jungkook walked out of his meeting at the end of the hallway, surprised at the sight of you and Jin. He was bug-eyed and mouthed, "What happened?" Jin waved at him to hurry on over.

When Jungkook arrived, he switched places with Jin. He whispered in Jungkook's ear, "Your current girlfriend just slapped the shit out of your ex-girlfriend." Jin mouthed, "Good luck" before disappearing around the corner, leaving the pair of you.

Jungkook groaned. "Fuck," he said softly. That's not what he wanted. He didn't want you involved with Alex, and he didn't want you anywhere near her.

He pulled you flush against his chest, kissing the top of your head. You were still sniffling, now feeling embarrassed and stupid for all the commotion you caused. What were his colleagues going to think of Jungkook? That he has a crazy ass girlfriend AND ex-girlfriend? Probably.

"I'm sorry," you muttered quietly into his chest, trying to hide your face from all the embarrassment.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I slapped your ex-girlfriend and caused a scene."

He chuckled. "That's hot. I wish I saw it."

You pulled away and scowled, then gently slapped his chest before burying your head back in its previous position. "Shut up," you said in a muffled voice.

"Damn...I can't get over the fact that you slapped her. She probably deserved it, and she must have pissed you off," he said softly, stroking your hair.

"She did deserve it. I would have punched her if Jin didn't pull me away," you said, still muffled against his chest.

"I'm glad you didn't punch her...then I'd be bailing you out of jail," he said. "Wait, that's kind of hot too."

Jungkook tried his best to improve this situation, but you knew there was no way to return from it. You'd prefer if the two of you could just disappear and live on a tropical island or something without exes, family, and responsibilities.

A few people passed by the two of you in the hallway, indistinctly whispering, probably gossiping about what happened between you and Alex.

"How could you be with someone like that? She's a horrible specimen of a human."

A look of guilt covered his face. "I was young and stupid."

"And horny," you added.

"Yes, that too." He gazed down at you, still sniffling, wiping away the snot that began to settle underneath your nose. "I'm sorry you had to deal with her, and I can talk to her if you want."

"No! I want her nowhere near you. Who knows what else she'll try."

He laughed. "Are you scared I'll cave in?"

You didn't answer. A part of you was scared Jungkook still liked her, and maybe he just didn't know until he saw her again. She was alluring and beautiful, and you could see why Jungkook would have been so smitten as a young 18-year-old boy. You were scared you weren't good enough for him, just like you weren't good enough for Kenji and U-jin.

He held your chin up with his finger, making you look at him. "Hmm?"

"Can we go somewhere more private?" you asked. You wanted to avoid all the stares and whispers from his colleagues.

He took your hand and led you toward his office. He closed the door and the blinds, ensuring no one would bother the two of you. He walked over and sat on the edge of the desk, legs crossed at the ankle, hands propped on his desk. His big twinkling doe eyes gazed at you, trying to figure out what was on your mind.

"Are you okay?"

You shrugged. Of course, you weren't okay. You just slapped the shit out of a girl, which is entirely out of character for you. You were ready to go to jail for this man. To be honest, you weren't sure what came over you. But everything that Alex was saying probably had some truth, whether you liked it or not. Jungkook had been with other women before you.

He held out his hand, but you didn't take it. A part of you hated being in this situation. You wished Alex never came here, and you wanted Jungkook to have never met her. You were hoping for many things, but no magical genie could make them come true.

"Am I enough for you?" you asked, lips quivering, tears forming behind your eyes. You couldn't look at him, and you couldn't dare to because you knew you'd instantly start bawling in the middle of his office. This dramatic scene with Alex was too much, and you weren't expecting to face her so suddenly.

When you asked the question, it felt like an arrow pierced his heart. Of course, you were enough for him, more than enough...no, you are everything to him. He didn't want anyone else. He wanted you. Jungkook felt like this was a reoccurring conversation between the two of you. How could you ever think you weren't enough for him?

He walked over to you and crouched down, trying to get you to look at him. "Hey," he muttered quietly. "You are more than enough for me."

Your heart ached gravely in your chest cavity, wanting nothing more than to believe the words coming out of his mouth. A tear escaped and began running down your cheek, and Jungkook wiped it away with his thumb. He cupped your face into his warm hands, and you welcomed it, not fighting him. His touch felt so nice after the weird tension between you.

You gazed into his desperate eyes, darting back and forth between them. "I wish I could believe that," you sniffled, letting more tears run down your cheek. You could barely see him through the puddle of tears in your eyes.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry," he repeated over and over again. He was still cupping your face. Then he brought your lips to his. Repeatedly apologizing in between kisses before he stopped and began fervently kissing you, full of desperation and sorrow. He held the nape of your neck, bringing you in for a deeper kiss.

Your body ached for him; you wanted all of him but knew that you shouldn't. You pulled away, hands pushing against his chest, your forehead resting against his, the two of you catching your breaths as you got carried away.

How were you supposed to trust him again?

It was easy with U-jin...you started to fall out of love with him towards the end of your relationship. But with Jungkook, it was a million times harder because you loved him so much it hurt.

Your fingers curled under the collar of his blazer. "I--I can't do this right now, Jungkook."

"Do what? Us?"

"I just--I need time to think--away from you, from us."

"Baby, don't do this," Jungkook pleaded, taking a step toward you, and he wanted to take another. Still, he could see your hesitancy towards him as you backpedaled against a chair. "Can we talk at home, please?"

You promised Jungkook you'd be home so the two of you could talk properly. You figured chatting at his workplace wasn't the best place to decide what your future would look like.

Anticipating his arrival, you nervously cleaned even though your apartment was already spotless. You debated opening a bottle of wine but realized being under the influence would hinder your thoughts. The constant battle of keeping yourself occupied finally ended when the beeps from your keypad could be heard.

Jungkook didn't announce himself like he usually did. Instead, he quietly walked in, setting his things down. He turned the corner, flashing a thin-lipped smile. He was happy to see you were here and hadn't left to return to his sister's. Walking over, he leaned to kiss your cheek, and you reciprocated, barely catching the corner of his lips.

He plopped beside you, letting out a big sigh. You assumed he had a long day, especially explaining your actions to his colleagues and bosses. You felt asinine with your behavior, being unable to control yourself and letting your emotions get the best of you.

"Am I banned from Netmarble headquarters?" you asked, breaking the silence, which made him smile.

Jungkook shook his head, his index finger caressing your cheek, moving a strand of hair away from your face. "I'll find ways to sneak you in."

The two of you softly chuckled, neither wanting to continue the conversation that needed to happen. So, instead, the two of you gazed at one another, enjoying each other's presence for a few minutes. If there were another way to go about this, you'd choose it in a heartbeat, but it was the fact that things like this kept happening to you, and you had to face reality.

"Where do we go from here?" Jungkook asked, searching your face for an answer. He was praying for the best but prepared for the worst.

"Why don't you guys take a break from each other? I know it'll be hard, considering we're all in each other's lives. Still, it might be good just to get a breath of fresh air and figure out what your future will look like," Yuna paused, "I know I was reluctant at the beginning of your relationship. I'm still very sorry, but I've seen the two of you come a long way. I see how happy the two of you make each other...and honestly, I would just hate for you not to be a part of my life and baby's life. She needs her auntie."

"She?" you asked with teary eyes. "It's a little girl?"

Yuna nodded. "I can't imagine how you're feeling, babe, and trust me, I want to strangle my brother so bad, but I also know him, and he'll do anything he can to keep you."

You didn't doubt that Jungkook would fight for the two of you, but how long would it be until you disappointed the other again? Maybe you were naïve to think Jungkook could never disappoint you, but he was human too. He wasn't perfect, and neither were you.

"I think it's best if we took a break from each other."

Jungkook's pinched expression demonstrated that he didn't particularly like the idea. "For how long?"

Your eyes darted around the room, avoiding his eyes. "I don't know, Kook."

Until you could trust him again? Until he figured out what he wanted? Until you figured out what you wanted? All of those were valid.

Jungkook's hand snaked around your neck, forcing you to look at him. "I don't want to be away from you," he said, his thumb gently caressing your cheek.

He feared that if the two of you went your separate ways, even if for a bit, you'd come to realize that there were better men out there. Ones that would treat you like a queen, give you everything you've ever wanted, and love everything you had to offer.

But he wanted you to know that the person who could be all that was sitting right in front of you. He just needed to convince you otherwise, but a part of him understood it would take a long time for you to trust him again.

You let out a shaky breath. "I love you." You could tell he wanted to respond, but you stopped him and started over again. "I love you. I love you with every fiber of my mind, body, and soul. I love you so much that I'm scared of what my life will look like if I stop loving you."

To be honest, you didn't know if you could ever stop loving him - you'd probably love him until the end of time.

Your lips were quivering and quaking so much that you took a moment to breathe. "I'm scared, Jungkook. I'm scared that without you, I don't know if I'll be able to breathe. I'm scared I won't know how to continue living my life without you by my side."

"Then, don't do this, baby. We can work through this together."

"How do you know that we'll be able to work through this?" you cried, "One stupid person came into our lives and completely turned our lives upside down. How do I know there aren't other things from your past that'll do this again?"

"I promise you there is no one else. Nothing will come in between you and me."

"It's a little too late for that, Kook."

Jungkook ran his hands through his hair, gripping it before letting it go. He groaned in frustration. "You're the only person I want," he pleaded. "Everything means nothing without you."

You let out a sad chuckle. "Then maybe you should've thought about that before you kissed Alex."

"I'm so sorry, baby. You don't know how sorry I am," he exclaimed.

Suddenly, Jungkook got off the couch and onto his knees in front of you. His apologies continued, turning into soft cries, pleading for you to forgive him. Muffled words of I can't live without you, and you're the only one I want. He tugged you towards him, desperate for any touch from you.

Sniffles from the two of you echoed throughout your apartment - eyes swollen from tears, tips of your noses reddened. You ran your hands gently through his hair before attempting to break away from his embrace.

"Kook, please. Don't make this harder than it already is."

Jungkook knew that if he were to let go, he didn't know when or if he'd get you back.

After more tears and some convincing, Jungkook finally let go of you. Neither of you knew how long it would take to heal from this or how long it would take to figure out what the two of you wanted. Still, he tried respecting your wishes and hoped you would be together again.

He packed up his things from your place, and as you looked around, it felt empty. It was like there was no trace of him ever living there. It pained you to walk him to the door only because uncertainty lay beyond it.

Jungkook pushed the lever down but abruptly stopped to turn back to you. Your eyes flicked to his before finding their way back to the floor, where you examined the white-toe socks he loved so much. You hated them, but it made him happy.

"Baby?"

You hummed, avoiding his gaze.

"Can I kiss you goodbye?"

Goodbye.

Goodbye felt so final. So conclusive.

You peered at him, inching closer. Your hand rested softly on his chest as you reached up to connect your lips to his. Always so soft, so plush. The kiss between you lingered, lips entwining, so close to heating up if you let yourself go for another moment, but you shouldn't.

You pulled away, along with the fist that somehow curled under his shirt. Your eyes flickered to his again before you uttered, "Bye, Kook."

✨ next ~ the call

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #jungkook drama #jungkook romance #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts x you #bts x reader #bts x y/n #fic: this is us

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rosaline-black · 2 years

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ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴛᴀʟʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴛʜ

ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴛʜ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴛᴀʟʜᴇᴀᴅꜱ ꜱʜᴏᴡ

Summary: That time the goth barely made it to the metalhead’s show

Category: Eddie Munson X Fem!Goth!Reader

Warnings/AN: So this part involves strong themes of bullying and violence so if that kinda stuff triggers you steer clear! But don’t fret fluffy ending :)

Series masterlist

Eddie had been pacing back and forth for probably half an hour. He was meant to go on stage in 15 minutes and he was still yet to see your beautifully scary face. He had sorta convinced himself you were gonna bail. Although your conversation on the phone had been lovely, filled with fun facts and delirious giggles, Eddie was always down on his luck when it came to girls. To be with him was to be with an outcast, the towns laughing stock. He was the guy mothers pulled their kids away from when walking down the street, so it wouldn't surprise him if you just didn't turn up and never spoke again.

Although he was a natural pessimist, there was still a crumb of hope that sat in the centre of his chest telling him she's gonna show. This is exactly why he wasn't tuning his guitar, ready to perform for the 5 drunks in the audience. Ever the over-thinker, Eddie began to spiral. What if you do come and you think the music is shit- OR or you're so embarrassed at how few people actually turned up that you laugh him out of there with that sexy witches cackle he'd grown to crave...-

"Eddie we're on in five dude... just forget about her okay... maybe she's sick or something..."

Gareth's less than comforting murmurs made eddies eyes widen. TEN MINUTES. Ten whole minutes had passed, and all he had done was fixate on the fact that you still weren't here. Maybe he could fake an illness too? Make the entire thing less embarrassing, at least then he'd have an excuse to call you, let you know that he never actually performed anyways.

"Dude seriously get your ass up here..."

Now Jeff was chiming in, his lips pursed in a thin line as he spoke with his teeth clenched. He resembled a mother scolding their child, which was quite fitting. Eddie was indeed acting like a child. Similar to a toddler he pouted and slid on his guitar, tuning it haphazardly. He didn't even care if they sucked anymore (I mean they already did according to 99% of their audience), he just wanted to see you. Those shining eyes and sparkling teeth hidden behind dark makeup and leather accessories.

The beating of the drums and the lonesome claps of the audience brought Eddie out of his reverie. His fingers moved on autopilot as he strummed along to their first song. He was hardly present, his eyes straying to the door in between strikes of his guitar. Was he gripping the pic harder than usual? Of course.

One song done. Onto the second. He was starting to lose the constant urge to scan the room in hopes of seeing you. His eyes just focus on the instrument in his arms. That was until murmured shouting could be heard from outside the hideout. It was obvious the band were attempting to ignore it, but even the regulars who were dotted about couldn't help but let their eyes wander to the door, their nosiness getting the best of them.

The cheap lights that hung from the ceiling and were haphazardly facing the stage with the help of cable ties obstructed eddies view more than he would have liked. The yelling was probably just some drunk dude with a mouth of his own vomit, I mean this was the hideout after all. The place for outcasts like Eddie and his friends, and also Middle-Aged men who only found enjoyment inside their beer bottles. Eddie secretly prayed he'd never end up like them.

The shouting intensified even though the amps were a mere meter away from him. Suddenly a figure stumbled into view and eddies heart dropped to his toes. There you stood, bottom of your skirt torn and knees adorning scrapes like you'd fallen, or been pushed. The only reason he'd assumed the latter was because of the smirking prep stood behind you her hand mid-air like she'd just given you a final shove before laughing with her friends.

The tormenters in question murmured several derogatory comments pertaining to your style before being ushered from the establishment. Before Eddie even knew what he was doing, he had jumped from the stage ditching his beloved guitar, and bundling over to you like his- or in this case, your life depended on it. Lucky for him amidst the altercation the band had stopped playing too.

"Oh god... Jesus oh Jesus I'll kill those fuckers... I'll fucking kill them... are you okay?"

It was a stupid question really. Your eyes were void of any discernible emotion, and although he thought it impossible when he first met you, it looked like you wanted to burst into tears. But you didn't. Instead, you straightened your back, pulled a black handkerchief from your bag and wiped at the grazes. Just when Eddie assumed you didn't want to speak to him, your eyes met his own, and you let words leave those dark, slightly smudged lips.

"Can you get me a drink... preferably alcoholic..."

Amid all of the pain you must have been feeling, Eddie was shocked to see a laugh bubble out of your throat, that same awkward cackle he'd memorised over the phone and attempted to replay in his head every time he missed you. It was contagious, and soon the metalhead found himself joining in, however far more cautiously.

"Sure... I think the gigs over so... I have uh... beers in my van... I think Gareth had whiskey-"

"Yes... yeah, whiskey sounds great..."

Eddie simply nodded, his curls bouncing as he simply turned on his heel and ran to his friends with panicked eyes. He'd never been in this situation before. He was usually the target, he was the one being laughed at and harassed. Eddie wasn't sure how to comfort you, I mean it's not like the both of you had known each other all that long. However, the one thing he did have was understanding, although he had this unbothered front, sometimes he did crave being cared for, and he would do anything to make you feel cared for at that moment that was for sure.

"Gareth... I need whiskey... now"

"What? Is the girl okay-"

"I NEED WHISKEY NOW DIMWIT"

Gareth's eyes widened and with a brief roll of his eyes, he reached for his backpack pulling out his flask before it was rapidly snatched from his grip. A few seconds later Eddie was returning to your side, passing you the flask. There was a mix of worry and awe as he watched you chug probably half the contents before looking back to him with a weak smile. It looked heavy. It looked fake. He hated that.

"Well the bands gonna go grab pizza... and I already ate so... we could go back to my van if you wanna hang out-"

"Yes... just... can we get out of this shit hole..." You opened your mouth and closed it like a goldfish before screwing your eyes shut "Sorry I... you probably love this place and I'm shitting all over it like an idiot-"

Boldly, Eddie placed a hand on your arm, his usual grin widening just at how endearing he found you.

"No trust me... this place is a shit hole... cmon..."

Eddies arm lightly brushed down your arm until he was lumberingly holding your hand. It was more like a grab than a gentle holding, he didn't want you to think he was using this awful incident to get into your pants. Eddie may have been a lot of things, but a moral-less ass was not one of them.

Once the two of you reached his van, Eddie took great pleasure in opening the door for you, he smiled even wider as you clambered in clumsily. You two were too alike. Now you were both seated, windows shut so the cold night air couldn't bite at your exposed skin and the warm heaters blasting dry air in both of your faces. Comically your hair-sprayed Barnet still didn't move.

"So... you don't have to tell me but... what happened?"

The air was feeling thicker now, and Eddie cringed when you tried to form words but couldn't. It hurt him, even more, when he realised this wasn't the first time you'd experienced crap like this. While he wasn't necessarily surprised, it hurt no less to know such a kind soul was being picked on just because of your outer shell.

"Well uh... I was late and my dad couldn't give me a lift so... I got on the bus... those girls clearly didn't appreciate me giggling at their dumb conversation... I mean they were talking about who they'd rather bang... hall or Oates..." you both shared a giggle at that.

"But then the insults started... and we got off at the same stop... it's all sort of a blur to be honest... I told one to fuck off and before I knew it they'd tripped me just outside..." This time you huffed out a laugh but it wasn't sweet or endearing, it was humourless. It was pained.

"I'm sorry by the way..."

Eddies brows raised at that. What the hell could you be sorry for?

"For what? Jesus y/n I should be apologising... I... I should have run out and scared those idiots off with my devil-worshipping powers..."

Now your laugh returned to its usual cackle and some of the heaviness looked as though it had been lived from your eyes, your entire body for that matter. Even now after being tormented and made to feel as small as an ant, you still looked breathtaking. Like the type of beautiful where Eddie wanted to just scream it at you, just make sure that you knew. But unfortunately, Eddie wasn't that brave, not yet anyway.

"You couldn't of known Eddie... it's all okay now though... I’m just hoping they don’t go to Hawkins high…”

Huh? Hawkins high… oh shit.

“Wait? Are you starting there?”

You nodded and eddies eyes lit up like the moon above his van. The thought of getting to see this girl every day was even more exciting. Walking her to class, eating lunch with her, Damn the domesticity sounded intoxicating. Right then and there Eddie took a silent oath to be your protector. If anyone tried to fuck with you like they had tonight, they’d have to go through him first, and he could be a scrappy little shit when he wanted to.

“Well princess… you're in luck… I’m currently attending Hawkins high…”

“Oh, shit really? Well, now I feel relieved…”

There was a mutual moment of fondness for one another then. The both of you stewed in your mutual growing affections, completely unaware that the other felt the same. Too oblivious idiots dressed in black. A match made in heaven. Or hell.

“By the way the ripped skirt and bloody knees are super metal…”

“Ya think so?”

“Definitely…”

#Eddie munson x reader #Eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #Eddie munson x goth reader #Eddie munson #stranger things 4 #the metalhead and the goth

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dunnswrld · 2 years

Note

Hcs or smut with paparazzi!reader w Johnny or Ryan, like a ‘we shouldn’t be doing this’ kinda dynamic w tension you could cut w a knife

omgomgomgomg i love this, so sorry for not making it smut like you asked though anon- ig i got carried away in my own thoughts haha!

it would be at the red carpet event for jackass two, johnny was in a black suit and tie. johnny looked great, everyone there knew that including himself.

your big blocky camera hung around your neck as your hands seemed to tighten your grip on it when you saw johnny walking onto the red carpet. his famous smile on full display, it could really lighten up a room.

you now understood why everyone was practically crazy for this man, he was so handsome. from his short brown hair to his beat up black converse, he was just so good looking.

you looked down at your outfit which completely contrasted his own. jeans, a t-shirt, and your beater sneakers. apart of you wishes you would’ve dressed up more if you knew johnny would practically be two arms lengths away from you.

you were brought out of your thoughts when other papparazzi behind you were yelling johnny’s name while shoving others around to try and get a better spot. you quickly began to almost lock yourself in front of the barricade so you wouldn’t lose your spot. you were front row and could get the best shots imaginable and you weren’t going to lose that big paycheck.

you quickly began snapping photos of johnny, which only let you admire him even more through the lens of your camera. his sunglasses covered his eyes when he smiled but you could tell just from the smile plastered on his lips that the smile was genuine.

but what you didn’t know was that under those sunglasses johnny was looking straight at you. he watched you shove other people behind you with cameras back as you quickly took some shots and would quickly begin to take more.

he thought you were the prettiest girl he had ever seen, which was so odd to him because for him all paparazzi people were old grown men who were not the nicest people when it came to taking photos of others. but you looked so sweet, like you wouldn’t hurt a fly.

well that was until johnny watched you snap backwards and tell off some guy behind you,

“hey asshole have you ever heard of personal space? i can feel your dick on my back so back up a bit before i knock you on your ass.”

the guy immediately raising his hands in defense and spewing out what johnny could only guess were apologies.

you turned back around to your original standing position still rather annoyed from the old guy behind you who thought it was okay to press his body so close to yours just to get some stupid photo everyone else was getting.

but when you turned around you saw johnny standing so close in front of you. both his hands gripping the iron bar of the barricade, he rested his weight on one foot as his sunglass hung lowly on his nose. just enough for you to see his dark brown eyes looking at you.

you didn’t know if you should snap a photo or say something, everyone else around you snapping photos and yelling for johnny to look at them but instead of looking at them he kept looking at you.

“hey there.”

“um- hi.”

“come here often?”

“only when im paid too.”

johnny laughed at your joke, the same laugh you’ve heard countless times on tv finally falling into your ears in real life. but what was even better was that you made the johnny knoxville laugh.

seeing him so close was so odd, the sound of cameras flashing and people yelling seemed to wash out as only background noise. they completely lost any and all of your attention as you looked at the man in front of you.

“ya gettin’ paid to take photos of me?”

“yeah but it’s weird when you say it out loud though.”

“whatever pays the bills right?”

you nervously laughed, you were too scared to say anything back to johnny in fear you’d say the wrong thing and ruin everything. but johnny lifted one of his hands off the bar of the barricade and stuck it put in front of you.

“im johnny knoxville.”

“obviously you are. everyone knows you.”

“yeah but i don’t know you, what’s your name?”

“its-”

“hey knoxville lets go! you’re making us late!”

your head turned to the sound of bam margera’s voice, he was jogging over to you and johnny and once he was close enough he was tugging johnny away from you.

“bam- knock it off for a second!”

“we’re late you can get interviewed later jackass.”

you watched as bam pulled johnny away from you, even with johnny trying to break from his grip he couldn’t. you watched johnny’s head turn over his shoulder to see you standing with your camera in your hands. lifting one of your hands off your expensive camera you waved gently to him with a smile, that was the last he saw of you before turning a corner and losing sight of you in the crowd.

#jackass #johnny knoxville #johnny knoxville imagines #johnny knoxville imagine #johnny knoxville headcanon #johnny knoxville headcanons #johnny knoxville fanfiction #johnny knoxville fanfic #johnny knoxville fic #johnny knoxville x reader #jackass imagine #jackass imagines #jackass headcannon #jackass headcannons #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #jackass fic #jackass x reader #jackass two

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ambrossart · 11 months

Text

PAPER MEN

— CHAPTER 28

SUMMARY: All Evelyn Tozier wanted to do was make Derry High School a safer place for her kid brother. Well, somewhere between kissing Patrick Hockstetter and telling the principal to go f*** himself, things got a little off track. Now she’s stuck in the middle of a bizarre love triangle with two of Derry’s most troubled teens while her little brother and his friends hunt down a creepy, child-eating circus clown. This year, summer can’t come fast enough. PAIRINGS: Henry Bowers x Tozier!Sister; Patrick Hockstetter x Tozier!Sister WARNINGS: violence, profanity, sexual content, bullying, sexual assault, physical abuse, emotional abuse, all kinds of abuse, trauma, mental illness, implied/referenced self-harm, child death, angst, lots of angst, recreational drug use, underage drinking, underage sex, love triangles, toxic relationships, slow burn, slow build

WORD COUNT: 11,533

MASTERPOST

MASTERLIST

"See? Bitch!"

Christie's words sailed down the hallway and struck Evelyn on the back of the head, making her stop mid-stride. A gasp gathered in her chest as the hallway seemed to close in around her. Student faces blurred together. Sounds became muffled, all but the thunderous beating of her heart. I wasn't being a bitch, Evelyn thought, unaware of the students who gave her curious glances as they passed. I said hi, didn't I? What more do you want from me? Should I have gone up to you and shaken your hand? Said, "Oh my god, congratulations, I'm so thrilled for you two"? Because I am, I really am, I just...

(Bitch!)

Guilt and shame mixed uneasily in Evelyn's stomach. It made her feel nauseous. Made her want to walk back over to them and apologize profusely like an embarrassed little girl at a grown-up's dinner party. Oh please, oh please, don't be mad! I'm sorry if I came off a little rude earlier. I'm just having a bad day, that's all. Please don't take it personally, Christie. Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top? I'd really like for us to be friends.

Yes.

Friends.

That's what I do. I make nice. I make friends. I make lemonade from lemons and turn rain clouds into rainbows.

Well, I'm not in the mood for rainbows, Evelyn thought, and kept walking. Anger simmered inside her stomach now, and she made no effort to cool it down. I have enough lemonade, I have enough friends, and I'm not gonna apologize to Christie Gibson! Why should I? I didn't do anything wrong! She's the one who bombarded me in the hallway, smelling like Vic's bedroom, casually tossing around Mrs. Criss's first name like they're best friends. I've known Mrs. Criss my whole life, and she'd never let me call her 'Tabby'... not that I've ever really asked...

Sarah Tolleson, Evelyn's locker neighbor, said bye to Evelyn as she walked by. Evelyn, distracted as she was, said nothing back.

"Bitch," Sarah muttered under her breath. "Well, fuck you too, then."

Evelyn opened her locker, hung her backpack on the hook, and absentmindedly began gathering her textbooks one by one: English, psychology, world history...

So Christie wants to talk about Vic, huh? What could she possibly have to say to me about Vic? What, does she need gift ideas for Christmas? Buy him a bong or something, I don't know... Evelyn shoved her biology book into her bag and paused for a moment, lost in thought. She returned in a near-daze and, forgetting herself, pulled out the same book and put it back on the shelf. Oh, then she calls out to me in the hallway while she's with him, so I'd have to SEE them together. What the hell was that about, huh? Did she wanna gloat over her victory? Was she trying to get me to admit I'm jealous? Okay, fine, I'm jealous. I'm very, very jealous!

All Evelyn ever got from Victor Criss was cold distance and doors slammed in her face. Secret notes. Broken promises. He'd draw her in and then push her way. Get her hopes up only to smash them to itty bitty pieces. No matter how hard she tried, he refused to let her get close to him. And now, after wasting ten years of her life, she had to accept that this was as close as she was ever going to get: this friendship with a little asterisk next to it. They were friends, sure, but only when no one else was around. It wasn't fair.

Vic was with her—in front of everybody, and he didn't even seem embarrassed by it. How could he do that with her but not with me?

Probably for the same reason Christie Gibson won the student council vote.

Because Christie was cool and Evelyn wasn't. Christie listened to rock music, dyed her hair fun colors, and had a butterfly tattoo on her lower back. Evelyn wore knit sweaters and could hardly name a current song on the radio (she listened to Olivia Newton-John from time to time, but nobody would be very impressed by that). Yeah, Christie Gibson was the fun, laid-back rocker chick. She probably spent her nights going to parties and concerts. Evelyn, meanwhile, spent her nights studying and doing arts and crafts on her bedroom floor... making dozens of paper flowers for a sign that nobody cared about.

You know you're quite the artist.

Isn't that what Patrick Hockstetter had said? Yeah, he had. Last night, he was mesmerized by a tiny white daisy. It was such an insignificant little thing, yet he stared at it like it was something special, like Evelyn had somehow made a realdaisy bloom in the palm of her hand. It seemed strange for her to be thinking of that now.

Stranger still was the smile that came to her face when she did.

But then Evelyn thought of that shapeless violet, purple as the fading bruise on her neck, and her smile instantly vanished. She pushed the thought away and started unloading her backpack again.

Everyone thinks I'm annoying. Just Little Miss Busybody. I'm not cool like Christie Gibson. I'm not sexy like Manda Bosch. I'm just... just—

A long, slender finger poked Evelyn's shoulder twice, jolting her from her thoughts. She jumped away from it, startled. Her stack of books went leaning, leaning... leaning way too far! A dreadful moan sounded in her throat. She tried to correct the lean, failed, and clutched the two bottommost books to her chest while the rest went tumbling to the floor. Her disheartened sigh crashed against a boy's cry of panic:

"Oh, great," Evelyn said.

"Oh, God!" said the boy.

They dropped to their knees at the same time, hands bumping as they reached for Evelyn's psychology book. The boy made a whimpering noise and recoiled from her with a snap of his wrist. Evelyn followed his fleeing hand and saw it bury itself in a small nest of copper-red curls.

"I'm so sorry, Evelyn! I don't know what I was thinking, sneaking up on you like that. My mom always gets mad at me when I creep up on her in the kitchen, but I just can't help it. See, I used to make too much noise when I walked, and she would yell at me to stop dragging my feet, so I overcorrected and now I make too little noise. I didn't think that was possible, but someone how I managed. God, I'm so hopeless."

Evelyn blinked her eyes in disbelief. Soft blue eyes blinked back at her.

"Denny!"

Denny Booker responded with a frog-like croak, as if surprised by his own name. "Oh, uh... hi."

Overjoyed, Evelyn put down her books and wrapped her arms around Denny's scrawny shoulders, hugging him tightly just as she had in his kitchen the Wednesday before. Denny's face flushed with heat. As soon as their bodies made contact, his back went rigid as a plank and his skinny arms flattened against his sides.

"Sorry," Denny said once they parted. "I'm really bad at hugs, especially with, with girls. I just don't... see, I don't really know where to put my hands, if that makes sense. I'm always worried I'm gonna touch something I'm not supposed to."

Like what? Evelyn almost asked, bewildered, but she figured that would've only embarrassed him more.

Instead, she said, "It's fine, Denny. I'm just glad you're back. You are back, right?"

She stood, brushing loose specks of dirt off her stockings. Denny got up, too. He wore his backpack with both straps and kept fidgeting with the loose ends.

"Yeah... well, kinda. I just came today to drop off my homework assignments. Tomorrow's my first real day back. Oh, here, your books."

Denny bent down, picked up Evelyn's scattered books, and handed them to her with a sweet, unaffected smile. Evelyn thanked him sincerely and put them away in her locker.

"So—" Evelyn began.

"Hey, it's the Book Man!"

They spotted Scott Kellerman at the other end of the hallway. He had been strolling through the freshmen locker area, thinking of fun, creative ways to kill a couple minutes. Now he was jogging toward them. Smiling, of course. Scott Kellerman was always smiling. He stopped briefly to give another one of his friends a high five. "Toodles, my good dude," Scott said to him. Then he rushed over to Denny and tackled him with a giant bear hug.

"What's up, buddy?" Grinning, Scott slapped his hands onto Denny's shoulders and gave him a brain-rattling shake that made Evelyn cringe and think, Oh, poor Denny. "Look at you, all rosy-cheeked and gorgeous! How you doin', man?"

"I'm, I'm good," Denny replied. "Hap-happy to be back."

"Shit, dude, you had us all freaked out in homeroom. People thought you were dying or something. As for me, I was getting ready to start sending around the ole donation jar like we did for J-Bird that one time. You remember that? 'Help, my brother needs a new kidney!' Nobody donated, though. Bummer. I guess they don't care about pot-bellied pigs in this town, not even a cute one like J-Bird."

"Oh..." Denny frowned. "Well, I'm sorry for scaring everyone."

Scott just laughed his usual carefree laugh. "Hey, no worries, dude. We're just glad to have you back. Wait, you are back, right?"

Denny nodded. "Tomorrow. I'll be back tomorrow."

"Sweetness!" Scott said, and laughed again. "Well, hey, I gotta go, man. Got a client waiting for me." He backed away from them while humming an upbeat tune he made up on the spot. "Adios, mis amigos. That's Spanish, if you didn't already know. My teacher taught it to me today. That's right, my dudes, I'm one step closer to being bilingual, baby!" He fired off two gunshots with his fingers before disappearing around the corner.

A moment of silence passed. Then Evelyn turned to Denny and said, "Did he just say he's meeting a client?"

"Oh right, yeah... Skelly's got a little side business."

"A side business? Wow!" Imagine that, Scott Kellerman was a fifteen-year-old entrepreneur. Evelyn was very impressed, and a little confused. "So does he, like, make stuff?"

"More like grows it."

To clarify what he meant, Denny pressed his thumb and index finger together and touched them briefly to his lips. Miss Quaver, the home economics teacher, came strutting out of her classroom. Denny panicked and pretended to have an itch on his face.

"Hello, children," Miss Quaver said to them with a smile. "Nice to see you back, Denny."

"Hi, Miss Quaver," Denny said, a faint blush tickling his cheeks.

When she was gone, he and Evelyn collapsed into a fit of giggles that left Evelyn in tears and Denny hacking up phlegm. This made Denny terribly embarrassed. He wiped his mouth with his sweater sleeve and apologized. Evelyn, who had been snorting like a pig, told him not to worry about it.

"Wow," she said afterward, while dabbing her eyes dry, "Skelly's a pot dealer. How did I not figure that out sooner?"

Denny cleared his throat one more time. "You're just wonderfully naive, I guess."

They shared another chuckle over that. Evelyn's shoulders bounced as she laughed. Denny, more careful this time, kept his hand cupped shyly over his mouth.

Then he said, "So, wait, why was Skelly dressed like a surfer?"

"Oh, because it's Groovy Monday," Evelyn told him. "Skelly's a Beach Boy. He had a surfboard, but he accidentally smacked Principal Hellyer with it, so it got taken away."

"Right," Denny said, unsurprised. "Yeah, I guess that explains your outfit, too."

"Yeah..."

Evelyn tucked her chin into her chest and shuffled back a step, wincing as she felt that familiar sting of self-consciousness. Oh, why had Denny returned to school on Decade Day of all days? If he had waited until tomorrow, he would have seen Evelyn dressed in comfy cotton pajamas instead of this hideously short dress that, apparently, made her look like a damn streetwalker. She braced herself for another searing hot stare, but from Denny Booker, all she felt was the most genuine warmth. His blue eyes were clear and kind.

"You look really nice," he said, and that was all. "Oh, I have your biology notes!"

He shrugged out of his backpack's right shoulder strap and pulled Evelyn's notebook out of the main zipper compartment. "You take really good notes," he said before handing it to her.

Evelyn flashed a modest smile. "Well, I do pride myself on my note-taking. Last year, I got these totally awesome gel pens that completely changed the way I..."

(It's a pen, Evelyn)

Her expression darkened. "Never mind," she said under her breath. Last year didn't matter anymore. "Anyway, I'm glad you found them useful."

She put her notebook away. When she turned back, Denny was rubbing the back of his neck and frowning.

"Hey," he went on quietly, "I want to apologize for the way I acted when you came to visit me last week. I'm honestly really embarrassed about the whole thing. You probably thought I was having a total meltdown or something."

Evelyn shook her head. "No, I didn't think that at all. And you don't have to apologize, Denny, not for any of it. You were going through a lot that day."

Denny gave a doubtful but grateful smile. "I found my dog, by the way."

"Really? That's great!"

"Yeah, we got a call from one of our neighbors this morning. He said Mandy Fazio found her sniffing around the junkyard last night and was wondering who she belonged to. I have no idea what she was doing all the way over there, but we took her to the vet, and she's perfectly fine, so... I dunno, I guess it was just one of those strange coincidences, just like you said."

"Yeah," Evelyn said.

A strange coincidence, indeed.

I questioned Patrick about this last night. Now, all of a sudden—

Denny's face paled, and he drew back with fright. "Uhh... I have to go now."

"Huh? Why, Denny? Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I just, uhh..." Denny dragged his fingers through his curls. His hairline was damp with sweat, Evelyn saw, and now it was trickling down his forehead. "I just remembered that I need to pick up something from the office, and I... I need to head over there before, you know, before they close for the day. See you tomorrow, Evelyn."

He staggered backward, spun around, and sped off down the hallway... in the opposite direction of the office.

Weird, Evelyn thought, her chest tight with worry. I hope he'll be okay to return tomorrow.

She stared down the hallway for a moment longer, wondering what unseen terror had set Denny off this time. Her answer came in the form of slow, plodding footsteps. She turned around and saw Patrick Hockstetter walking up to her with a lazy, swaying stride.

"What's his problem?" he asked, seemingly unaware.

Seemingly.

Evelyn's eyes sharpened into a suspicious glare.

"What?" Patrick said, blinking at her with that same dumb, oblivious expression. Then, slowly, his lips curled into a wide, open-mouthed grin. "Wait, was that...?"

"Oh, stop it already, Patrick. As if you don't know."

He tossed his head to the side. "What was his name again?"

"You know his name, Patrick. I refuse to believe you have no idea who your fellow classmates are."

This was all just an act, and a bad one at that.

She grabbed her biology book, put it in her bag, and left it there this time. That's right, Evelyn finally had her head screwed on properly again. She wasn't floating through space or wading through a deep sea of sad thoughts. She was here, grounded firmly in reality... and keenly aware of how close Patrick had gotten. His warm breath fanned the side of her face.

"Believe what you want," Patrick said, "but as far as I'm concerned, you and I are the only two people in this school."

Evelyn turned to meet his empty, probing stare. When she did, a chill ran up her spine. Looking into Patrick's eyes was kind of like staring into a void. It was like leaning over the side of a ship and gazing into the deep, dark ocean below. Your survival instincts tell you to step back from the edge and walk away, but before you do, a small part of you wonders, What if I jumped?

Evelyn was hearing that voice now, tempting and frightening all at the same time. She pulled away from it, away from him, and said, "No offense, Patrick, but that sounds kinda like a nightmare."

"Really?" he said. "I think it sounds pretty nice."

His eyes told her he wasn't kidding. But he had to be, didn't he?

Another shiver rolled through her. Evelyn put the question behind her and finished packing up her homework.

"So," Patrick went on, leaning against the locker beside her, "did he finally find his dog?"

Evelyn's eyes sharpened again. Strange coincidence, my ass.

"Oh my god!" she said.

"What?" Patrick asked, looking at her with genuine surprise.

No.

Seemingly genuine.

Evelyn jabbed at his chest with an accusing finger. "Oh, you... you are so transparent!"

"What? I'm just making conversation."

"Yeah, sure you are, Patrick."

"I am," he insisted. Then his eyes flattened. "Wait a second, you still think I took that dog, don't you? Listen, Evelyn, before last night I didn't even know who that kid was, okay? I mean, jeez... you torture a few puppies and you're branded a dog killer for the rest of your life. Where's the justice in that?"

"Yes, Patrick, you're the true victim in all of this."

"Whatever," he said. "I'm sick of talking about this. Anyway, what are you doing after school?"

Evelyn gave him a tired look.

"What?" Patrick said. "We're friends, right? Friends hang out after school."

"Don't you have detention?"

"In theory," Patrick answered, "but realistically, it wouldn't be too hard for me to slip away for a few minutes... you know, if you wanted to find an empty classroom and let me fool around under that cute little skirt of yours." He eyed it with a lustful smirk, then started teasing the hem with his fingers. "By the way, have I told you how much I like this outfit? You should dress like this more often."

And with that, down went the judge's gavel.

It's official: I'm dressed like a whore.

"The stockings kinda ruin it, though," Patrick finished, observing them with a frown. Shamelessly, he tried to sneak a peek under her skirt. Evelyn swatted his hand away without looking.

"It was forty degrees out this morning, Patrick."

"Is that cold?" he asked, but he didn't wait for Evelyn's answer. "So you wanna hang out or not?"

"Can't. I'm grading quizzes for Mrs. Lafferty."

It was part of Henry's plea deal. In exchange for Mrs. Lafferty's support, Evelyn agreed to grade her quizzes for the rest of the semester. And how did Henry pay her back? The only way he knew how: with cruelty and malice. No good deed goes unpunished, right?

"Oh?" Patrick said, sounding very intrigued. "And will you be alone while you're grading these quizzes?"

"No, Mrs. Lafferty will be there. She has a student staying late to take a quiz."

"Well, I don't mind an audience... although it might make you a little uncomfortable."

Evelyn heaved a loud, frustrated sigh. "Okay, I'm leaving now," she said, and closed her locker. When she tried to walk away, Patrick gently grabbed her wrist.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," he said, chuckling. "What are you doing on Friday night?"

"Friday's the homecoming game, Patrick."

"Okay, that means nothing to me... but I'm assuming you're going?"

"Yes, Patrick, everyone's going."

"Oh, everyone's going, huh?" His grey-green eyes gleamed. "So if I go, I'll probably see you there."

"Probably."

"Cool." Patrick smiled, very pleased. "We can hang out then."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Patrick."

Evelyn pulled her hand out of his grasp. Patrick frowned as he watched it slip away.

"Why?" he asked in a sullen voice. "You ashamed to be seen with me at a school event? Afraid of what your friends in the student council will think? What Jake Newham will think?"

"Of course not," Evelyn said, but she realized that was a lie. She was ashamed to be seen with Patrick, deeply ashamed, and now she felt like a total hypocrite.

Evelyn grunted low in her throat, regretting this decision with every fiber of her being. "Okay, fine, we can hang out at the homecoming game, but—" She raised her finger and spoke in her stern babysitter voice, the one she pulled out when a stubborn child refused to obey her. So far, she had only used it once: when Max Kenton wouldn't stop pulling his sister's hair, that little shit. "Don't ever interrupt my lunch meetings again, Patrick. Okay? I use those meetings to conduct very important business. The last thing I need is you feeling me up under the table."

"I thought that was a bug," Patrick said with a cheeky little smirk. Evelyn put her hand on her hip and raised her eyebrows, another trick from the babysitter's handbook. Patrick threw his head back and let out a disgruntled moan. "Okay, fine, I won't bother you at lunch anymore."

"Thank you." Evelyn smiled, pivoted on her heel, and walked away with a confident strut. Halfway down the hall, she stopped. "Oh, and I'm reenacting the 'No Touch' rule."

Patrick's jaw clenched. "What?"

"We're friends, right?" Evelyn wore a charming yet taunting smile. "Friends don't touch each other like that."

"Well, maybe not your friends," Patrick said, but ultimately he gave in. "All right, Evelyn, you win, but the same clause applies as before. Fair enough?"

Evelyn pressed her lips together tightly, holding in a laugh. "Sure, Patrick. When I beg you to touch me, feel free to go crazy." She released the laugh once her back was turned. It burst out of her in a series of giggles that rang throughout the hallway like the delightful tinkling of bells.

Patrick listened to it, smiling. "I plan to," he said to himself. Then, before she got too far: "Oh, Evelyn, just one more thing."

She turned around, still giggling. "Hm?"

"I love how you said 'when' and not 'if.'"

Evelyn's laughter caught in her throat, almost choked her.

Patrick's smile grew. "See you tomorrow, Evelyn." He backed away, slipped around the corner, and was gone.

Evelyn stood paralyzed, speechless, her face getting redder and hotter by the second. "That's just... semantics!" she declared, her arms flopping helplessly at her sides.

God dammit, she thought. How the hell does he do that?

It's because he's so attractive, that's what it is. Puberty screwed me over real good, but it gave him a massive growth spurt that turned him into a fricken Adonis. How is that fair? I get a flat chest, no hips, and Patrick gets the chiseled bone structure of a male model. Okay, I'm exaggerating. He's not that good-looking... No, actually he is that good-looking, and it's really unfortunate. If he looked like he did in elementary school, I wouldn't be in this predicament. He's vile and repulsive, but then he smiles and acts so weirdly charming. Oh my god, I hate that I just used the word "charming." But he is. He's grotesquely charming, if that's even a thing. Like most of the time I wanna slap him in the face for the shit he says, but other times, I wanna grab him and...

No.

Wait.

Oh my god, he's doing it again!

Last night, he confessed to murdering cute, fluffy puppies—and I love puppies!—but I'm not even thinking about that right now. No, I'm too busy thinking about his hand under my skirt. I swear to God, if he ever tries something like that again, I'm gonna punch him in the face. Right in the middle of the lunch room, too. Who does that? A sexual deviant, for one. That was practically assault! But I have to smile and go along with it. I have to give him what he wants; otherwise, this torture will never end.

Problem is, I have no idea what he wants. It's not sex, that's for sure. No, he's just using that to distract me... but from what?

Her steps slowed in the middle of the hallway. While contemplating Patrick's motives, Evelyn was fiddling with her right pinky: tracing over it with her thumbnail, bending it, squeezing it until the tip turned reddish purple. Down the hall was Mrs. Lafferty's classroom. The door was propped open, waiting for her to go inside. All right, that's enough now, Evie. She snapped out of her daze, picked up the pace and

"Bye, Manda!"

"See you tomorrow!"

froze as a senior brushed past her right shoulder.

"Whoops, sorry," the girl said, and Evelyn got a big whiff of her spicy, exotic Yves Saint Laurent perfume. It was a woman's fragrance, strong and intimidating, and it masked the soft, sweet, candy-like scent of Evelyn's drugstore perfume. The smell overwhelmed her for a second. Made her nose wrinkle in a silly, childish way. She recovered quickly and spun around just in time to catch a glimpse of the girl's long, thick fishtail braid as she went around the corner. Wrapped around the tail end, winking in the light, was a metallic silver scrunchie.

Evelyn's breath hitched. "That's..." and her feet moved on their own.

Inside the senior locker area, Manda Bosch was humming U2's "With or Without You" while she strolled toward her locker with her books cradled in her arms. The heels of her boots thumped against the tile. Her wide, womanly hips swayed sensually inside a pair of high-waisted, loose-fitting jeans. A black long-sleeve shirt, which she wore tucked, hugged her upper body like a second skin, showing off her ample curves.

Evelyn, who had no curves, was sick with envy. She crossed her arms over her small breasts, feeling unsexy and unfeminine, and thought, If I looked like that, then maybe...

No.

She inhaled sharply, her brown eyes glazed with panic and fear.

No, I shouldn't be here. This was a mistake! Why did I think seeing her would make this any easier? I was having a hard enough time accepting that Henry had sex with someone else, and now that "someone else" has a name and a body and... and I don't think I can handle seeing her face right now. If I see her face, then it becomes real and

A single tear rolled down her cheek, her lips, her chin.

I should go, she told herself, and stepped back. Mrs. Lafferty's waiting for me. I promised I'd grade her quizzes and...

She took one step forward, then another.

Manda Bosch was standing in front of her open locker now, still humming, occasionally singing under her breath: "With or without you… With or without you, oh..." The inside of her locker was decorated with pictures of her friends, her family, and her longtime boyfriend, Matt Aikman, a freshman at USM. Manda was pulling books off the shelf and putting them away in her backpack. While she did this, Evelyn couldn't stop staring at her hands. Manda Bosch had these long, red, perfectly pointed fingernails, and they had cut Henry's face.

At first, the sight of them filled Evelyn with intense, overprotective rage. She wanted to storm up to her and say, "How dare you put your hands on him?" But that feeling passed so quickly. It was there one minute, burning her from the inside, and the next it was gone. It had cooled and hardened into a giant lump that sat in the pit of her stomach, and now a cruel voice was whispering,

What else did she do with those hands?

No, Evelyn didn't want to think about that, not now, not ever, but her mind started conjuring up images on its own. Casting them onto a giant silver screen. Manda Bosch running her hands through Henry's dirty blond hair. Brushing the side of his face with her fingertips. Slipping her hands underneath his shirt and touching him lightly, caressing his stomach, his chest, sliding around to feel the strong muscles of his back.

Evelyn watched the whole film from beginning to end, unable to look away. She was trapped in the middle of a crowded auditorium, strapped to a cushioned red velvet chair, unaware of the surprise waiting for her. It was Friday night at the Aladdin, and everyone in the audience was being treated to a special double feature. Two films. One night only. Buy your tickets in advance, folks, because this is one event you don't wanna miss! The first picture was one of the year's most-anticipated blockbusters, and the next one, well... that one was a classic. Yeah, even an out-of-touch workaholic like Evelyn would recognize that title. In fact, was one of her favorite films. She watched it every night.

In her bedroom.

Alone.

While she sadly traced over the wrinkles in her floral quilt.

Excited applause sprang up around her. Then the lights dimmed and the opening credits began to roll. As soon as the first name appeared on screen, Evelyn's stomach churned with dread. No, she couldn't bear to sit through this movie again. Not again. Not ever again. She got up and fought her way to the aisle, trampling women's purses, tripping over outstretched legs. All the moviegoers lashed out angrily: Get down! Get down, you're blocking the screen! I paid good money to see this flick! She ducked as a box of popcorn came flying at her. It went over her shoulder and exploded against the screen like a spray of fireworks, but Evelyn did not look. No, she would not look. She put her head down and kept moving, eyes closed to the intimate scene that was playing in front of everyone, ears shut to the men who whooped and wolf-whistled, the women who voiced quiet murmurs of disgust. Blind and deaf to it all, she stumbled into the aisle and went running for the exit.

Mr. Foxworth smiled as she passed, his eyes glowing eerily in the light. Don't you wanna see the ending? he said. The ending's the best part.

Evelyn turned back to look at him, her expression a mixture of shock and horror, and then she saw...

("Hey, you okay?")

saw the screen flickering, stuck on a single image. It burned away as a hand reached out from the darkness and landed on her shoulder.

("Hey... Hey!")

"Hey, space cadet!"

Evelyn emerged from her thoughts groggily, blinking. It was Manda Bosch, staring at her with dark chocolate brown eyes, the kind of eyes a boy could get lost in... Henry probably had, too.

(What else did she do with those hands?)

Evelyn flinched with sudden awareness. She looked down at her shoulder, saw the girl's hand, and wrenched away from it. Warily, Manda Bosch withdrew her hand and apologized. There was a small wrinkle between her perfectly shaped brows now. Her lips, red and full, had gathered into a concerned pout that somehow made her even more beautiful.

Did he let you kiss him? Evelyn wondered, devastated.

"Do you need something?" Manda asked, tilting her head. Her voice was melodious and sweet despite her confusion, much sweeter than Evelyn expected.

"Uhh... no," Evelyn said. She drew back a step and crossed her arms in front of her. "Sorry..."

Manda smiled awkwardly. Even that was pretty. "Okay, well... take it easy, okay?"

She made a vague gesture with her hand, circled around Evelyn's right, and started humming again as she walked toward the senior exit. Evelyn cupped her elbows with her palms and withdrew into herself, feeling more like a child than ever. She wanted to go home. She wanted to go home, bury herself under the covers, and forget this day ever happened.

But then she heard Manda's voice again

"Hey," she said, leaning away from the door, "cute dress, by the way."

and that was more than she could take.

Smiling to herself, Manda pushed on the door and walked out. While she strolled through the senior parking lot and swung her keys, while she drove home and sang along to her favorite song on the radio, Evelyn collapsed onto the senior couch, dropped her head into her hands, and sobbed.

"Well, that test sucked."

"Yeah, I hate when they sneak in an extra essay question at the end. What kinda sick, sadistic shit is that? Like I'm stressed out enough, thank you very much, and now you expect me to write a perfectly structured, five-paragraph response to your vaguely worded question? Fuck off with that bullshit. In conclusion, you're a crazy Nazi bitch and your class sucks!"

"Whoa, did you seriously write that? 'Cause you would totally be my hero if you did."

"God, I wish I did... I swear, every time I see that woman, I just wanna—Evelyn!"

Evelyn dried her eyes as Elizabeth Mueller entered the senior locker area with Desiree Van Blair and Peter Gordon.

Unlike most of the upperclassmen, Liz and Des had actually dressed up for spirit week. They figured, what the hell, right? It was their senior year and they wanted to have some fun before they graduated. Today, Liz was wearing a Twiggy-inspired green shift dress with an exaggerated collar, black fishnet tights, and a pair of Mary Janes. Des was wearing her Halloween costume from last year. She went as Holly Golightly from the 1961 romantic comedy Breakfast at Tiffany's, and she got really annoyed when the other students didn't understand the reference. "God, this town's a cultural wasteland. It's like living in the Bermuda Triangle or something. Nobody knows how to dress and everyone sucks."

Liz was currently gushing over Evelyn's outfit. She took the girl's hands and pulled her up from the couch to get a better look at her.

"Oh my god, you look absolutely perfect!" she said, squeezing Evelyn's face between her palms. Close as they were, it was obvious that Evelyn had been crying, but Liz was gracious enough to keep this knowledge to herself. She wiped away the last streak of wetness with her thumb and smiled. "You're the most precious thing I've ever seen in my life."

Evelyn smiled back timidly. "You don't think I look slutty?"

Liz gasped, outraged. "Oh, what bitch said that? Was it Jackie? 'Cause that sounds exactly like something Jackie would say."

Desiree spoke up from the couch. She was sitting on the arm and pretending to smoke from her long black cigarette holder. "Oh my god, Liz, did you see what she was wearing today? She thinks she's Jackie O."

Liz rolled her eyes. "More like Jackie O, could you be more fucking obnoxious? Wait, was that mean?"

"A little, but who cares? It was funny."

The girls tittered like wicked stepsisters and, for a moment, appeared every bit as mean as Greta Bowie and Liz's little sister, Sally. Evelyn stood between them, feeling uncomfortable, feeling like maybe it was time to leave. Liz noticed this and her face flushed with shame.

"Oh shit," she said. "Dammit, Des, we can't keep falling back into old habits like this! I don't wanna go to college with any negativity. I may not like Jackie personally, but that's no reason to cut her down for her unfortunate fashion choices... even though she's a fucking bitch and deserves it." Liz took a deep breath and carried on with a smile. "Anyway, come sit for a minute, Evelyn. Let's talk."

Evelyn's eyes drifted toward the hallway. "Oh, but I really should get going."

Mrs. Lafferty was already expecting her, and...

"Just for a minute," Liz said, and led her back to the couch. Evelyn followed the older girl obediently. They sat side by side, knee to knee. Liz laid her hands neatly on her lap and smiled prettily at her. "So, how's the situation?"

"The situation?"

"She means Hockstetter," Des explained bluntly, while Peter Gordon went to his locker and pretended not to listen. Evelyn suspected he was listening, though, because he kept peeking over his shoulder every now and then. This made Evelyn feel a little uneasy. She didn't want to talk about this around so many people. In fact, she didn't want to talk about it at all. Not with Liz. Not with anybody. She didn't think they would understand.

"We saw that stunt he pulled at lunch today," Des was saying now. "That was bold, even for him."

"Yeah," Liz agreed, "and we just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Oh, I'm fine," Evelyn said, more abruptly than she'd intended. "Yeah, I've got the situation totally under control."

Liz's made-up doe eyes widened in surprise. "Oh..." she began in a chaste whisper, a faint blush warming her face. As her voice trailed off, her gaze fell slowly, softly, and landed gently as a feather upon Evelyn's neck. "Oh..." Liz said again. Her hand went to her mouth and her blush deepened.

By now, the hickey had faded enough that Evelyn could cover it pretty easily with makeup... or so she thought. Concealed or not, a well-trained eye could probably spot it with little effort. Desiree, who had already established herself as an expert on the subject, lowered her oversized sunglasses and peered down at her.

"Wow," she said with an impressed smirk. "Yeah, I'd say she definitely has it under control, Liz. Good girl. You ride that crazy train."

Liz swatted her friend away like a buzzing fly. Evelyn quickly covered up the mark with her hair.

"It's not what it looks like," she said. "Patrick just—"

"Hey, you don't have to explain yourself," Liz said with false sincerity. Evelyn would have thought it was genuine, but the shrewdness in her eyes gave it away. "We're not judging you or anything."

"Really?" Evelyn said. "Because it kinda seems like you are."

Her tone was sharp, and rightfully so.

"I don't know what you all expect me to do. Everyone keeps judging me for what I do or don't do with Patrick, but what nobody seems to understand is that I don't have a choice! Look, I didn't ask for this, okay? I don't know why Patrick's bothering me all of a sudden, but he is, and now there's nothing I can do about it. I mean, it's inevitable, right? That's what Marci seems to think, anyway, and honestly I'm starting to think she's right. So what am I supposed to do now, Liz? Huh? You were nice enough to warn me about him, but... now what?"

Liz Mueller recoiled as if slapped. All the color drained from her face.

"I don't know," she confessed quietly, suddenly afraid for her. "I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're supposed to do."

Silence prevailed for the next thirty seconds. Liz turned forward, dropped her chin into her chest, and stared guiltily at her manicured hands. Next to her, Desiree had removed her sunglasses and was gnawing anxiously on the plastic tip. Peter Gordon glanced over her shoulder and saw her doing this. He made a sickened face and whipped back around. Right now, he wanted to crawl inside his locker and close the door. He couldn't stand tense silences like this. They reminded him a little too much of home.

"Just... be careful, okay?" Liz finally said. "If things start to get weird, or you start to feel unsafe for whatever reason, make sure you tell someone. Tell your mom, your best friend, me, Marci, just... someone, okay? Most of the other girls wish they had. Shit, I know I did." She reached over and gave Evelyn's knee a comforting pat. "You're not alone in this, Evelyn. I know it might seem like you are, but you're not. We all know what you're going through."

Evelyn smiled gently, gratefully, but part of her wondered if any of them truly understood.

Time crawled forward. Evelyn looked up at the clock and saw that it was almost a quarter to four now. Mrs. Lafferty was probably getting angry with her. She was probably tapping her foot, glaring at the clock, and thinking, Well, is that little brat showing up or what? Evelyn felt guilty about that. She knew it wasn't polite to keep people waiting, and yet...

"Hey, do you guys know Manda Bosch?"

"Manda?" Liz and Des exchanged a furtive glance. "Sure. What about her?"

"There's just a rumor going around about her and a boy in my grade."

"Oh, right," Liz said, and for some reason, Des started to laugh. "I keep forgetting you sophomores are new to this. Look, you just have to learn to ignore her, okay? Manda does this kinda shit all the time, and I mean all the time. She parties way too hard, gets way too drunk, and then cheats on her boyfriend with some loser who won't refuse her. Then she sobers up the next morning, feels guilty, and cries rape to cover her own ass. It's really sad and pathetic, honestly, but I guess it works 'cause her boyfriend still hasn't dumped her even though he's way out of her league. I don't understand the appeal, personally. I mean, she must give really good head or something."

Evelyn squirmed at that remark. Behind her, Peter Gordon was coughing as if he'd swallowed something wrong.

"So you're saying she just made it up?" Evelyn asked, hopeful.

"Oh yeah, for sure. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm all for supporting victims and everything, but Manda Bosch is not a victim. She's just a sloppy, sloppy drunk who will spread her legs for anyone. That sounded really mean, I know, but it's just a fact. She even came onto Pete once, practically right in front of me."

"And I ignored that siren's song," Peter interjected passionately. "I said to her, 'No, you foul temptress, you stay away! I have a beautiful girlfriend and I love her with all my heart.'"

Liz gave him a dubious look. "Yeah, like you're going anywhere." Then, to Evelyn: "See, Pete's not the cheating type. He knows he hit the jackpot with me and he's not about to squander his winnings on some dumb, drunk slut. Find yourself a guy like that, Evelyn, and all these rumors just become background noise."

"Okay," Evelyn said uneasily. This conversation had taken a few unexpected turns and she was struggling to keep up. "So it's definitely not true?"

"No..." Liz said, but her voice sounded strangely high-pitched all of a sudden. "Well, I mean, it's probably not true... Why? Who's the rumor about?"

"Umm, Henry Bowers," Evelyn answered anxiously, and flicked her eyes away. "I don't know if you know who that is."

"Yeah, all you sophomores kinda blur together... Oh, wait, he's the really angry one, right? The kid who always looks like he's gonna stab somebody?"

Evelyn gave a reluctant nod. It wasn't the kindest description, but it was probably the most accurate.

"Huh," Liz said. "Well, that changes things a bit."

Evelyn's stomach dropped. "You think it could be true?"

"Well, no, not necessarily. Hold on a sec." Liz craned her head around and called out to her boyfriend: "Hey, Pete, you used to hang out with that Bowers kid, didn't you?"

"Yeah, for a like a summer," Peter Gordon answered shortly. He wore the tight, apprehensive expression of a man who'd just been asked to take the stand and testify as an eyewitness in a murder trial. "That was a long time ago, Liz..."

Peter was fifteen then and feeling rebellious. His parents had recently split up, and he was going through a tough time. He thought it'd be kind of cathartic to shoot stuff, smash a couple windows, and shoplift dirty magazines. Petty crimes. Maybe a misdemeanor or two. He wasn't expecting it to get as intense as it did, and there were times when Henry Bowers honestly frightened him. He'd never seen so much hate in one person.

"Okay," Liz said, "but did he seem like a rapist to you?"

Evelyn winced at that word. How could everyone throw it around so casually?

"Racist? Yeah. Rapist? No, I wouldn't quite go that far... but again, that was a long time ago. Who knows what that kid's capable of now."

"Not that," Evelyn said. "No, Henry didn't rape anybody."

Liz shrugged. "Okay, well... there's your answer. They probably just had sex."

"Sex. Right."

Evelyn gulped down both words, closed her mouth, and nodded stiffly, feeling her blood thumping in her temples. Liz and Des studied her quietly, looked at each other, and quickly put together the rest of the puzzle. When they saw the completed picture, Des cringed and Liz's pretty pink lips parted with an inaudible gasp.

"Oh..." Liz whispered, looking down at Evelyn with a sympathetic frown. "Oh, sweetie, no..."

Then Des said, "I remember when I was going through my bad boy phase. God, was that a mistake."

Evelyn's face flamed with dull anger. "No, that's not—" but a gruff voice cut her off.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Martin Davers had emerged from the hallway with a notebook wedged under his arm and a pencil tucked behind his ear. He opened his locker, tossed everything inside, and slammed the door closed. His biceps bulged under the tight fabric of his shirt. His eyes, a dark, stormy blue, narrowed into a fierce, territorial glare as he squared up to Evelyn like a menacing troll. Martin was six feet tall and heavily muscled. He used to be on the football team, but he got cut during his second year because he couldn't meet the minimum grade requirement. Now Martin was constantly looking for new ways to release all his pent-up aggression. Evelyn Tozier was his favorite target.

Liz rolled her eyes at Martin, unbothered. "Speaking of bad boys... What do you want, Martin?"

"I'm just wondering what a sophomore's doing in the senior locker area."

Evelyn flinched suddenly, forgetting where she was, and as she looked around now, all the furniture had grown shockingly large. She felt like she was sitting inside some silly funhouse where everything was comically oversized. All the lockers towered over her like skyscrapers. The couch seemed big enough to swallow her whole; Evelyn's feet could barely reach the edge. She sat upon the tattered cushion like a doll waiting for some little girl to come along and carry her off to tea time. Oh, yes, tea time. Tea time with March Hare and the Hatter. Evelyn was a child trapped in Wonderland, lost and scared, staring at the Cheshire Cat's mischievous grin.

"Look, she's with us, okay?" Liz Mueller made a dismissive motion with her hand, then turned back to Evelyn, who had shifted her weight forward in an early attempt to stand. The girl's face had gone terribly pale. "Oh, Evelyn, don't let him scare you off. Martin's just an asshole."

"No, it's okay," she said colorlessly. "I have to get going, anyway."

(I'm late for tea...)

Mrs. Lafferty was expecting her, and it would have been rude to keep her waiting any longer... yes, rude, that sounded right. It was Evelyn's good manners that compelled her to leave so quickly. It was good manners that made her press her thighs together and cross her arms over her chest. Good manners that had her staggering to her feet, mumbling goodbye to the floor, and walking away as fast as she could.

It had nothing to do with Martin's stare—that hot, searing stare that seemed to follow her down the hallway.

Evelyn started apologizing before she even entered the classroom.

"Sorry, I'm late, Mrs. Laff—" she began, but the rest of the words had tumbled inward and back down her throat. She stopped in the middle of the doorway, one foot in, one foot out, with her right arm bent at the elbow, beginning an apologetic wave. Evelyn never finished it, though. Much like her words, her hand had retreated into itself, curled into a loose fist, and fallen limp at her side. Her eyes widened with shock and disbelief. Her heart jogged in her chest. She drew in a breath and held it for a moment, forcing herself to calm down.

Before she arrived, the classroom had been quiet and empty apart from the two occupied desks. Mrs. Lafferty sat at hers with a cup of honeyed tea and was idly stirring it while she reviewed tomorrow's lesson plans. She looked up briefly when she heard Evelyn's voice. It was a very distinct voice, loud and clumsy as one might expect from a Tozier, but at least hers wasn't accompanied by crude humor and poorly performed (not to mention grossly offensive) accents. Yes, in that regard, her little brother was truly unique.

Mrs. Lafferty smiled at Evelyn. "Don't worry about it. You're in fine company. This one kept me waiting, too," she said, tipping her head toward the student sitting in the back. "He's lucky I didn't leave and just give him a zero, but I don't think I'll be getting a thank you for that, will I?"

Mrs. Lafferty was answered with silence. For once, Henry Bowers had nothing to say... not to her, anyway.

He had been hunching over his math quiz and glaring at question number four when he heard Evelyn's voice drift through the open door, her words amplified by the hollow silence that had fallen over the school. As soon as the sound hit Henry's ears, his back straightened and his heart started racing. It was an instinctual reaction, kind of like when Henry flinched whenever his dad reached for his belt. That one motion stirred up a decade's worth of painful memories and emotions and drove them straight to the surface like worms wiggling up from the dirt during a rainstorm. His dad didn't even need to beat him anymore (but he did anyway). He simply had to gesture toward his belt and Henry cowered back in submission. Yes, sir. No, sir. Straighten up and get back in line.

Of course, it was only kind of like that. There was no pain associated with the sound of Evelyn Tozier's voice (unless you counted the slight hangover-like headache that sometimes occurred halfway through a conversation with her). No with her voice, Henry felt only the most wonderful, comforting calm, bright with her laughter, warm with her smile, soft as the woven cotton blanket that he often found draped over him when he woke up in the middle of the night. Henry would sit up, look across the room, and see Evelyn passed out at her desk with her head nestled inside the crook of her arm. Usually, he would leave after that, but sometimes he would sit and observe her for a while, listening to her gentle snoring, watching her skin sparkle beneath the soft glow of her desk lamp, feeling his heart slowly thudding in his chest, getting stronger and stronger. Henry could have stayed like that forever.

Happy.

Peaceful.

Safe.

Evelyn Tozier was a sweet escape, and Henry craved her like a junkie needing a fix. It was a desperate, visceral desire that gripped him more firmly with each passing day. Growing. Intensifying. Evolving into a savage, carnal beast that was impossible to control.

When Henry heard her voice that afternoon, every nerve in his body came alive at once. He had to grip the edge of his desk because he didn't trust himself to stay in his chair. How could he when Evelyn was standing on the other side of that door? When that safe, peaceful, happy feeling was finally within reach? All Henry had to do was get up, run out that door and—

Evelyn appeared in the doorway, wearing that sunshine yellow dress with the flouncy little skirt that went whoosh-whoosh every time she moved her hips. The skirt that tempted him. Teased him. Taunted him. The skirt that Patrick Hockstetter's hand had crawled underneath like some filthy, disgusting insect... and she didn't push his hand away.

??WHY DIDN'T SHE PUSH HIS HAND AWAY??

(Because she's a whore, just like your mother)

No. No, she's not, Dad. She's nothing like—

(YOU ARGUING WITH ME NOW, BOY?)

Belt.

Flinch.

No, sir.

Whore, sir.

!!STRAIGHTEN UP AND GET BACK IN LINE!!

When Henry saw Evelyn in that yellow dress, his mind became a battlefield. All his thoughts were clashing against each other in bloody combat, and he didn't know which side was going to kill the others and claim him. He was being pulled in too many directions. Assaulted by too many urges. All the while, Evelyn stood there staring at him with that hopeful, frightened look, like she desperately wished he would speak to her, but she was also terrified of what he might say.

And that's when Henry realized he was frightened of himself, too.

If he ran to her now like he wanted to, he wasn't sure what would happen. In one thought, he was wrapping his arms around her and hugging her. In another, he was pushing her against the wall and smashing his mouth against her warm, soft lips. In another, he was squeezing his fingers around her neck and throttling her until all the light left her eyes.

Slapping her.

Beating her.

Bashing her head against the wall again and again and again.

(Because that's what you do with whores)

The thought rose up from nowhere. It had caught him off guard. Snuck up behind him and tried to seize control. Henry fought it back and it left easily enough, but he knew it wasn't gone for good. Eventually, it would come back even stronger. Maybe next time it would win. Maybe. Maybe—

"Head down, Mr. Bowers," Mrs. Lafferty said as she stood up from her desk. "You're here to take a quiz, not gawk at pretty girls."

"Fuck you, bitch," Henry muttered under his breath, relieved to hear his own voice again. Just his own voice again.

Mrs. Lafferty walked over to Evelyn, who had turned away and was now approaching a small table at the front of the classroom. Honestly, Henry was glad for the distance. The further away the better. For her sake. He put his head down and tried to focus on his quiz.

"You don't have to finish this all today, of course," Mrs. Lafferty was saying to Evelyn, "just the two morning classes should be enough. Whatever you have left, you can just leave in the pile there. I'll take the rest home with me tonight."

Evelyn nodded, pulled out the chair, and sat down. As soon as she did, she felt two eyes drilling through the back of her skull. Her heart bucked wildly. She looked over her shoulder and caught Henry's gaze for half a second, but then Mrs. Lafferty called her attention back and placed two red pens on the table. Upon withdrawing her hand, she said, "Oh, and Evelyn? No doodling on the quizzes, please."

Evelyn smiled back sheepishly. "Right, sorry... sometimes I get a little carried away."

After all, grading quizzes got awfully boring after a while. In that state, it was easy for her to accidentally turn a simple smiley face into a cat or a dog... or a cute, friendly little monkey swinging off the edge of the score. Evelyn was no artist, but she hoped her doodles gave the students a good chuckle when they got their quizzes back. Especially those who failed. For those unlucky few, Evelyn hoped her drawings helped soften the blow, if only just a little.

Mrs. Lafferty returned to her desk and reached for her tea. After taking a few slow sips, she lowered her cup and said with a forced smile, "By the way, Evelyn, I had a lovely little chat with your mother this morning."

"Oh?" Evelyn said, and that was where the conversation ended.

Judging by Mrs. Lafferty's expression, there had been nothing lovely about that chat, nothing at all.

Evelyn put her head down and quietly began her work: comparing each answer against the key, marking the wrong ones with her pen, counting up the marks, tallying up the final score, and printing it at the top of the page. Each score was accompanied by an encouraging message like GREAT JOB! WAY TO GO!! AWESOME EFFORT!!! Then she would place the paper in the completed pile and move on to the next one.

Behind her, Henry Bowers kept his head bent over his quiz the whole time, his expression frustrated and tense. Evelyn didn't look back at him either, not once, not even when the urge was so strong she thought she might go crazy. She couldn't bear to look at him now, conflicted as she was. It brought up too many questions... questions Evelyn wasn't sure she wanted the answers to.

Did you let her kiss you? she wondered as she stared down at the red pen. Because I never...

"Head down, Mr. Bowers. I won't say it again."

Evelyn sucked in a quiet breath, held it, and slowly peeked over her left shoulder. Henry's head was down again, his hand furiously scribbling on the paper. Evelyn continued to hold her breath, continued to stare, until his eyes finally lifted off the page. Henry's writing hand slowed, then stopped. Evelyn's breath left her in a long, drawn-out sigh. Then Mrs. Lafferty got up from her desk, Henry dropped his head, and Evelyn turned back around.

"Evelyn, I need to go to the teacher's lounge for a few minutes," she said, but what she really meant was, I'm stepping outside for a smoke. "Henry, you have five minutes left. Leave your quiz on my desk when you're done."

Mrs. Lafferty's heels clicked delicately as she walked, the sound drifting further and further... further away. Then there was only silence.

Evelyn sat back and stared gloomily at the clock. It was four twenty-two now, but the time never registered in her head. She was too busy thinking, hoping, wishing those hands would unwind and go backward just this once. Take them back to that blissful Before: before Evelyn wore this stupid dress, before Henry had sex with Manda Bosch, before Patrick Hockstetter picked up Evelyn's clipboard, followed her into the hallway, and asked, Where have I seen you?, before the trunk, before the stolen shirts, before the long, lonely, miserable summer... before Evelyn crossed the line and messed everything up.

Can we just go back, please? she begged. Because every day after that has been a total nightmare.

(and she had a terrible feeling it was only going to get worse)

Evelyn gave the clock one last pleading look, and the clock stared back in silent refusal. Its hands ticked, tocked, and crept forward.

(Tick)

(Tock)

(Tick)

(Tock)

Henry finished his quiz, dropped it off on the teacher's desk, and—

Evelyn stood up and said, "Can you please talk to me? Because I really don't understand what I did wrong."

Her plea was weak, desperate. Henry didn't even hear it. He went around her and started walking toward the door.

What the fuck?

"Henry!" she cried softly... in her Before voice.

Henry stopped as soon as he heard it, his whole body stiffening in recognition, and for a moment time seemed to stop.

(Tick—)

Finally, he spoke. "You know, I thought..." His voice emerged from deep in his throat, strangled with grief and despair. "I thought we were..."

"What?" Evelyn said. "What?"

JUST SAY IT!

Henry's jaw clenched tightly, and his lips drew back in a pained smile. "Fuck you, Evelyn," he said and went out.

(Tock)

Evelyn's mouth fell open in a stifled cry of disbelief. Hope left her eyes as defeat washed over her. Her legs went weak, gave out, and she collapsed back into her chair, numb, speechless. Above her, the clock watched with cold indifference. Its hands crawled forward... forward... forward.

(Tick)

(Tock)

(Tick)

(Tock)

Sometime later, while Evelyn was lackadaisically doodling on a student's quiz, she heard the slow, dragging thumps of Mrs. Lafferty's feet coming down the hallway.

"I've already finished the first two stacks," Evelyn reported half-heartedly, "and I'm halfway through the third."

She moved the quiz to the completed pile, turned around, and froze.

Martin Davers was leaning beside the door with his arms folded over his chest.

"That's a really nice dress," he said.

Evelyn rose from her chair slowly, her heart pumping loudly in her chest. "What do you want, Martin?"

"Nothing," he answered, his eyes calm and attentive. "I guess I just wanted to know why you're trying so hard to dress sexy all of a sudden." Martin seemed to ponder this soberly for a moment, his brow furrowed in mock perplexity. "'Cause from where I'm standing, it kinda looks like you're trying to advertise something. Is that right, Tozier? Are you open for business now?"

"Open for business?" Evelyn repeated. The phrase stunned her so completely that she almost laughed. "It's spirit week, Martin. I have to dress up."

"Oh, I see," Martin said, fascinated. "You had to dress in a skimpy skirt today. That was today's theme."

Evelyn's mouth opened and closed wordlessly.

"Wait, that wasn't today's theme?" Martin cocked his head to the side and frowned. "Well, then why are you wearing that dress, Evelyn?"

She stared at him, unable to speak. Why had she chosen this dress? Why this dress over all the others? Mrs. Criss had dozens of modest dresses that would have satisfied today's theme just as well. She had boxes and boxes of them. Evelyn tried them on. They had fit her perfectly, way better than this dress did. Why had she cast them aside?

"I was just following the theme," she said, her eyes vacant, glassy.

"You were just following the theme." He nodded. "Okay, Evelyn, answer me this: what was today's theme?"

Her stomach twisted. "Huh?"

"Go on, tell me. What was today's theme?"

His voice was shrill and full of scorn. Evelyn shut her mouth tightly, her bottom lip quivering, and shook her head as tears flooded her eyes.

"Please stop," she whispered.

"Well?"

"Stop."

"Tell me."

She swallowed hard and answered: "It was Groovy Monday."

"Right," he said, "it was Groovy Monday, not Skimpy Monday, not Slutty Monday. It was Groovy Monday. Thank you for clearing that up for me, Evelyn, because I was so confused for a second." He smiled at her, grateful. "Now, let's go back to my initial question: why are you trying so hard to dress sexy? Because that's an awfully short dress, Evelyn."

"It follows the dress code," she said, but then from the dark, shadowy part of her mind, she heard

(barely)

another voice that made her eyes widen with a horrific realization. This really was a terribly short dress. Yes. Yes, she saw that now. Not short enough to make her parents worry. Not short enough to violate the school's dress code.

(No more than four inches above the knee... Did you measure it, Evelyn?)

But just short enough to—

Martin wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Are you trying to get someone's attention, Evelyn? Show him what he's missing?"

"No," she answered in a shaky voice, but the other, faraway voice spoke the truth.

(Yes)

She had wanted to get someone's attention today, and she got it, oh yes, she got it. When Henry Bowers stormed up to her that morning, when he grabbed her arm and pulled her hard against him, when he glared down at her, stared at her lips with that feral, ferocious hunger, Evelyn felt her heart flutter with such excitement. For a minute, she thought he was actually going to kiss her. She wanted him to.

(If I had been wearing this dress that day, then maybe...)

Evelyn slapped her hand over her mouth, but still the voice persisted:

(Yes)

(and you got what you wanted, didn't you?)

(Yes)

Guilt crept into her heart and devoured her slowly, leaving her hollow and cold. "Look," she said huskily, blinking the wetness from her eyes, "Mrs. Lafferty's gonna be coming back in a minute, so..."

Martin clucked his tongue in dissent. "I think it might take her a little longer than that."

For a moment, Evelyn's gaze was blurry with tears. Then it cleared as strange, dizzying terror stole through her. It was almost like a bad dream. In a slow daze, she saw Martin walking toward the door. Saw him tuck his boot underneath the doorstop and kick it up with one flick of his ankle. The door moaned and swung slowly, so slowly, and closed with a whisper of a click. Evelyn's breath stopped. Her body froze with fear.

"What are you doing?" she asked in a small, trembling voice.

Martin answered her question with one of his own: "What were you doing in the senior locker area, Evelyn?"

"What?" The word came out dry and brittle, and it crumbled as it left her lips. "Nothing, I was just..."

Martin stepped toward her, his blue eyes glinting ominously in the light.

"You were just...?"

Adrenaline shot through her, sending Evelyn's heart into a mad gallop. She glanced at the door and made herself move. Martin closed the distance. She side-stepped, tried to duck around him, and he caught her brutally by the wrist. A scream fetched in her throat. Their eyes locked fiercely, and for one frightening moment, Evelyn saw the same savage hunger that had consumed Henry Bowers. Her heart stopped. Her mind exploded and went flying, crashing, tumbling down into deep blackness like a stone down a well, falling down to a cold, dark place, where a voice—that voice—was giggling.

(You got what you wanted, didn't you?)

Now her fear had collapsed into pure panic. She struggled against him, her breath coming in short, sharp gasps, and tried to wrestle her arm free. Martin overpowered her easily, flung her around, and slammed her down hard against the desk. Evelyn's body hit the wood with a dull thud. Her head jerked forward, snapped back, and spun dizzily. Clockwise. Her vision blurred and became ringed with darkness. She was falling, plunging down to that cold, dark, guilty place.

"What's wrong, Tozier?" Martin asked breathlessly. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

"Please stop!" she said, but her voice had slipped away from her and went up, up, up.

"You wanted attention, right? Wanted people to finally see you as a woman?"

"No! No!"

(YES!)

"Well, I see you, Tozier," Martin said. "Yeah, I see you crystal fucking clear."

Evelyn fell deeper and deeper, screaming without a sound, and slammed against something hard and cold. The bottom. She had finally hit the bottom. Her right cheek was pressed against the desk, and Martin's hand was on her head, holding her firmly in place. He didn't have to hold her down, though. Evelyn couldn't have moved even if she wanted to. She was too far gone, trapped in that cold, dark place, and now the guilt was creeping toward her on all fours, its eyes bright and hungry, desperate to feed. Evelyn lay on her stomach, paralyzed, watching it come closer and closer... closer and closer... until—

The knob turned and the door opened.

Henry Bowers stood on the other side, blinking in dazed bewilderment.

Martin threw him a vicious grin. "You want in on this, Bowers?" he asked while he pushed some of Evelyn's hair away from her face. "You can go first if you want."

Evelyn flinched away from Martin's hand and felt Henry's eyes land on her softly, gently, filling her heart with such sweet relief. For a moment, she thought she was weightless, flying, floating far away from that cold, dark guilty place, but then she saw something that turned her heart into stone, and she plummeted right back to the bottom.

Henry's eyes, those bright, beautiful blue eyes, had suddenly darkened into the most terrifying shade of black. Evelyn didn't even recognize them anymore.

Time crawled forward and stopped. The clock on the wall stopped ticking. Its hands screeched to a halt and stood at attention, waiting for their next command.

It came a second later, in a shocking act of betrayal.

"No," Henry said, "she's not worth it."

The door closed and time resumed with a violent lurch, knocking Evelyn backward, backward, backward. The clock on the wall started tocking and ticking, tocking and ticking: backward, backward, backward. Its hands went spinning, whirling, unwinding: backward, backward, backward. Counterclockwise. Taking them back. Taking them all the way back.

And now that voice was speaking to her again, speaking from that cold, dark place.

(You got what you wanted, didn't you?)

Yes, she answered. Yes, I did.

_____________________

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