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generic-sonic-fan · 9 months

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The post where I do vague cultural worldbuilding headcanons for Sonic characters??

Sonic and Knuckles are mountain man bros in the sense that they both grew up in the wild raised by animals. They dunk themselves in a river, call themselves clean, and then fistbump about it. They eat fruit right off bushes. Knuckles can find you a damn good tuber in a pinch and Sonic would be able to snatch you a worm if you really wanted it. Knuckles finds it difficult to pick up on mainstream cultural customs but Sonic's always found it easy now that he's older.

Tails and Amy, meanwhile, grew up in towns. These towns had a definite human influence, hence their possession of first and last names, but they still grew up in a Mobian in-group of sorts. They know proper fur/quill care, feel that it's gender non-conforming for a boy to wear clothes and a girl to go without them, and are adept at reading ear/tail gestures. Tails was never really one for any small-town slang but Amy still uses more rural phrasing even now that she lives in a larger city.

Rouge grew up in a large city, so she's more well-versed in cultures other than her own. She's adopted some human rituals because she thinks they're fun, like face masks and shaving some of her body fur. She loves exploring human cuisines because they're "exotic" to her while Mobian cuisine are comfort foods. She's fluent in several different kinds of slang along with the gestures/manners of the different cultures.

Shadow was raised by humans. His mannerisms are unmistakably human. From wearing human-sized shirts around the house, to having a taste for "human" comfort foods, to being completely unable to read ear/tail gestures in conversation, any Mobian is able to peg him as an outsider pretty quickly. While he's absolutely embraced proper quill care, Rouge had to first point out to him that he was doing it wrong- using human shampoo is not going to cut it, hun.

Omega is. . . weird. For the most part, he's predictably alien: what few social customs he's bothered to learn he has to have observed first. Rouge has been a helpful educator on the rare occasion he gives a shit, usually in regards to slang translation to add to his dictionary. He's almost more like Knuckles in the sense that he was isolated and now he's playing catchup. Sometimes, sometimes, though, the assumptions Omega makes will lean more towards human biases. Anyone who values their life knows not to ever point that out to him.

Metal Sonic reads like a robot imitating a human imitating a Mobian. Yes, he can imitate Sonic's gestures, but it's the movement in between that's uncanny. The physicality of his limbs. The weight of each step in his out-of-combat walk cycle. It screams "human". Most of his cultural knowledge, the little that he has, comes from observing Eggman's daily routine. But Eggman is just one human, and an isolated and eccentric one at that. Metal Sonic could recognize a refrigerator but not a washing machine, could recognize a plate and fork but not any other kitchen cookware. His knowledge is piecemeal. His imitations are incomplete. He was designed for combat, nothing more. His unconscious attempts to fill in the gaps are illogical, aren't they?

Silver is permanently locked into a culture called "survival mode". That's a joke, but only mostly. His behaviors more closely match that of someone growing up in extreme poverty. He can't stand to throw stuff away and he has a hypervigilance about danger that someone who grew up in a "bad neighborhood" would understand. Not to mention that any cultural values he has learned are a few hundred years out of date, so his guesses at any customs tend to be slightly off.

Blaze is from a different dimension, which basically reads as just a different culture than the one that's prominent where most of Sonic's friends reside! She actually gets a kick out of sharing her customs and comparing them to everyone else's. She's also from an extremely privileged walk of life, though, and it definitely shows no matter how much research she does to try and be less ignorant about how "normal" life works.

#feel free to add other characters in the reblogs!!#sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e-123 omega #silver the hedgehog #blaze the cat #MAN that's a lotta tags! group post!!#please feel free to ask me about any one of these they're so fascinating to me

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lurkingshan · 8 months

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Only Friends and Engaging with Queer Male Media as a Cishet Woman

I’ve had some good conversations this week with friends as we’ve been unpacking our early reactions to Only Friends, which has only just begun getting into the messy dynamics we know the show is going to explore. One of the things that has come up in conversation is our different reactions to the scene between Boston and Top in the shower stall, and how we each read that in terms of consent, sexual coercion, and what it says about each of the characters. Some of us were relatively unfazed by the scene, finding it to be a fairly realistic depiction of a pushy aggressor and his conquest who is not that into him, but also not really opposed to getting sex anywhere and any way he can. Some were more uncomfortable, recognizing behaviors we might call assault in other contexts and wondering whether we should be condemning the character or the scene for the behavior depicted.

For me, this discussion brought up a lot of my previous fandom experiences, taking me all the way back to ye olden days when Queer as Folk (US) was airing and the majority cishet woman fandom spaces were scandalized, scandalized I tell you, by some of the aspects of gay male culture it depicted. It was not the first or the last show to do so, but it stands out in my mind as an important cultural moment at the turn of century as I was coming of age, when the internet was booming and the proliferation of online fandom spaces was rapidly accelerating. Because QaF did it all—casual sex, cruising, group sex, very public acts of indecency, aggressive boundary pushing and peacocking, open and polyamorous relationships, cheating and betrayal, age gaps—and it depicted it all quite explicitly, which made a lot of people uncomfortable. Especially women who were used to thinking about sex and relationships through two primary, and heavily socialized, lenses:

heteronormative romance, and

heterosexual rape culture.

Let’s take a moment to unpack those terms. Heteronormative romance is a big, broad term that I’m using as a kind of container for a lot of things, including patriarchal structures, misogyny, rigid gender roles, purity myths and fetishization of virginity, courtship rituals, promiscuity and respectability politics, the madonna/whore complex, sex as an act primarily for breeding and procreation, expectations of sublimating sexual desire in service of caretaking for others, and so on. Basically, all the bullshit cis women get jammed into our heads from birth that gives us so many hang ups about sex and love. With heterosexual rape culture, I am referring to the undeniable culture of sexual violence women also endure in a majority heterosexual society, in which we are in constant danger of having our boundaries transgressed, being physically and psychologically hurt, and then being told it doesn’t matter because our personhood has always been in question and never mattered as much as any one man’s power or pleasure. I’m not going to drop a bunch of citations for the above because this is tumblr and I have escaped the icy grip of graduate school, but if any of these ideas are unfamiliar to you, google is your pal (and please read about intersectionality as it relates to these concepts while you’re at it, because there are layers of identity that make these dangers worse for some, like our trans and BIPOC sisters, and all of this is undergirded, as ever, by white supremacy).

So, yes, engaging with media about sex is fraught for women, especially when that media does not conform to our heteronormative ideas of morality that have been shaped by all of the above, and particularly when we as individuals have not done the work to unpack and interrogate our socialized beliefs, which is often the case for cishet women especially. Many of us instinctively cringe away from unromantic depictions of sex. Many of us can’t stand cheating and betrayal in our love stories. Many of us shy away from media that depicts the unfortunate reality of grey and dubious consent. All of that is valid, to an extent, and rooted in the way we have been taught to think about this stuff from birth, and the ways we’ve had to adapt to survive.

But, here’s the thing, girlies: most of those socialized hang ups I just talked about? Do not apply to a story by, for, and about queer men.

Before you start yelling, here is your disclaimer: of course patriarchy and misogyny also hurt men. Of course rape culture also exists in queer communities, and of course some queer people engage in heterosexual sex, so these are not mutually exclusive categories of people. And, importantly, cishet women are not the only ones who struggle with these tensions—just the ones who are most relevant to this particular post.

So, after that long and winding road, back to the point: this debate about the bathroom scene in Only Friends is the same shit that’s been debated in majority female fandoms around depictions of queer male sex since time immemorial. And whatever your personal feelings are on that scene, or the no doubt numerous other depictions of questionable romantic and sexual etiquette and dubious consent coming our way in this show, what it boils down to is this: can a majority cis woman fandom step outside of our own conception of sexual morality to engage with this show not with judgment, but with curiosity about what sex and relationships look like for queer men? This show has an entirely queer male writing and directing team. It is made with love by people of the community, for the community. They know what they’re about, they have resumes demonstrating they are damn good storytellers who understand safe sex, consent, sexual health, and sex work, and they are here to tell us a story grounded in their reality. BL has been moving in fits and starts toward depictions of sex that are more honest about queer male experiences, and Only Friends, spearheaded by the Jojo Tichakorn Phukhaotong (who demonstrated quite ably that he has a firm grasp on consent, sexual assault, and the damage that dubious consent can cause in The Warp Effect), is the next step in that evolution. The key point is that sexual activity simply does not mean the same thing or carry the same associations and hang ups for queer men as it does for cis women. With that in mind, can we try our best to process and critique this story on their terms, instead of our own?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Only Friends is not going to be a good time for people who are looking for romantic depictions of relationships and sex or invested in identifying heroes and villains amongst this cast of characters. This show is about deeply flawed people hurting each other, rooted in the lived experience of the Thai queer male community—and those of us who do not share all of those lived experiences may not understand the nuances of every single thing that is happening. We can be sure that the characters will all be wrong sometimes and they will all do things we think are stupid or reckless or unkind. Does that mean we can’t have empathy for them? Do they have to act in a way we think is morally “correct” in order to love them? You don’t have to be comfortable with the things these characters do, and it’s certainly valid to point out when you think lines have been crossed. But attempting to sort them into “good” and “bad” camps is pointless, and moralistic judgment of their behavior is out of place, particularly when it comes from a place of trying to force them into our own irrelevant frameworks for sexual politics.

And with all that said, I am passing the baton over to my dear friend @waitmyturtles, because there’s an entire aspect of the intersectional cultures at play here that I have barely touched on—Only Friends as an Asian queer story that is building from a specific lineage of Thai queer media. I’m gonna let her take the mic for that part, and say thanks to her, @bengiyo, @neuroticbookworm and @wen-kexing-apologist for reading this over and helping me think through what I wanted to say here, and shoutout to @williamrikers whose post I also linked to above.

#only friends the series #only friends #ofts #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

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miss-atena · 2 months

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Twisted Wonderland Headcanons Heartslabyul + Che'nya

I finally have the time to do this post. I've wanted to do this one for a while but life and other stuff got in the way. So... Yeah! All character art used is by me, headcanons may have some basis on friends hcs I like, but overall its very much what I think. More under the cut.

Riddle Rosehearts

Mixed Asian and Latino (if in our world);

has eyebags and moles on his face but hides it with makeup as best as he can;

Red undertone skin, very rosy;

Everything about his appearance is kept pristine and proper. His hair is always combed, his nails are manicured, no body or facial hair, etc;

Probably has undiagnosed autism;

So sheltered from the real world, he has trouble keeping real conversations without overanalyzing everything being said or bringing up the Queen of Hearts rules;

Is not allowed to hold hands because his mom thought that would mean he was gonna skip studies to date. (He "accidentally" forgot about that on NRC);

Tries to keep in contact with Che'nya while on NRC but is afraid of messing things up, especially after his overblot;

Cares more for Deuce and Ace than he lets himself show. secretly defends them during housewarden meetings.

Gender Non Conforming, He/they/xe;

Biromantic Asexual.

Has had a tiny crush on Trey before.

Trey Clover

Blasian;

Strongman body type but less intense;

Softest body around, Heratslabyul Sleepover human pillow;

His hands are a bit rough from dealing with cooking and the occasional kitchen accident;

Always smells of pies. Even when he didn't make any. It's his natural scent;

Is farsighted;

He has 3 glasses with different frames, for different occasions, but only uses the same pair because black goes with anything;

Suffers the "M'lady" and "erm actually" jokes from Cater and Ace;

Still keeps in touch with Che'nya, they text sometimes and during summer break Trey sends baked goods for Che'nya to share with his grandpa;

Claims he is a normal dude but can make any recipe if he read how to make it once before;

Knows how to help during panic attacks and sensory crises due to his siblings needing him before;

Cis man, He/him;

Pansexual.

Has received more love letters than any other Heartslabyul dorm member.

Cater Diamond

Token white friend/j

anyway yeah, he is the whitest person from the Heartslabyul cast IMO

a bean of a boy

wakes up way earlier than the others to do skin care routines trending on Magicam

If something is trendy and isn't too expensive, he is buying and wearing it till the trend ends.

barely passing grades, but still passing.

has had an off with your head for almost failing sometimes, but Riddle had to just accept Cater is not the brightest academically.

if he could, he would pay double to get more piercings but Riddle would probably actually chop his head off for that.

Social butterfly, but heavy impostor syndrome.

has hidden eyebags with makeup before from spending hours doom-scrolling on his phone

Has a crush on Trey but is too afraid of rejection to make a move.

Bigender He/they

Bisexual

flirts with people by accident sometimes.

Ace Trappola

mixed asian and white

besides being mixed, he is the token white guy of the group.

basic af, will crumble if u give him spicy food.

way too comfortable with flirting with Deuce for everyone to think they r just friends.

his brother pierced his ears and they both got scolded (Ace was 12)

way richer than he think he is, can buy really nice stuff without batting an eye and doesn't realize it. Not on Kalim's level, though.

Every week Ace has his head offed by Riddle in some form of way. Sometimes will drag Grim with him on these.

is afraid of thunderstorms and will not admit it.

Cater's protected child, they both do chaos together.

Cis man, he/him.

Omnisexual with female preference

even tho his real preference seems to be Deuce.

Deuce Spade

Asian.

probably autistic, but no one notices cuz he hits the not-noticeable aspects of the spectrum.

Asks for tutoring from Trey, since he is low-key very high-key afraid of Riddle's scoldings

Half of the time on Track and Fiel club turns into hype sessions

If Ace wasn't his closest friend at NRC with Yuu and Grim, it would be Epel

His mom sent him his old jackets so he would feel at home in school. Ace uses them and fakes being a delinquent.

While Ace is protected by Cater, Deuce is protected by Trey. The duality of men.

Helps whoever he can during PE classes, he wants to be seen as reliable like Trey.

Trans man, he/him

Bisexual, no preference.

Doesn't get why people think he and Ace are a couple.

BONUS: Che'Nya

Blasian + Vitiligo

Has Discalculy

They were supposed to be a regular white cat beastman, but they dyed their fur for funsies

Loves arts and crafts, and their pants were embroidered by themself.

Their grandpa taught them arts and crafts.

No one knows why they are in RSA and not NRC, Trey says he thinks they got an invitation from NRC first and a RSA after they rejected NRC, but is not sure.

Uses their magic all the time, and find loopholes to say they can use their magic.

Doesn't hang with the popular kids at RSA, but has a little group of friends.

Texts Trey all the time they can, mostly to share Magicam memes.

They have a planner of dates they will try crashing unbirthday parties at NRC. Only started this after Riddle became a housewarden.

No teacher calls them by their name, it is either their nickname Che'nya or Pinka.

Genderfluid They/it/xe/nya

Omnisexual with a preference for masc leaning.

No one knows how they have not been expelled from how much they sneak around and poke and prod at what they shouldn't.

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #tena ramble #tena writing #heartslabyul #riddle rosehearts #trey clover #cater diamond #ace trappola #deuce spade #che'nya #alchemi alchemivich pinka

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fandomsandfeminism · 2 years

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I'd like to delete that conversation off my blog, because I really want to avoid potentially platforming our former friend there. But I did want to just preserve my thoughts about gate keeping language, specifically on "weird" Labels.

Labels are not some inherent biological reality to which we must conform in order to be correct. You cant zoom in on someones DNA and find a little tag that says "cis lesbian" or "genderqueer bisexual" or "demi-boy asexual panromantic." Labels, pronouns, these words are *tools.* they are rhetorical shorthand for people to describe, quickly, aspects of their experience to others. They are great for building community and discussing issues, but they aren't like *fundamental* to our DNA or something. They are only an approximation we use to try to sum up the complicated reality of ourselves to others.

So this idea of demanding that people use or not use specific words, insisting that their identity or use of labels is incorrect in some way? It doesn't work. People are using those labels and pronouns because they communicate information effectively. They say the things they want to say.

Our vocabulary changes. We no longer call ourselves "inverts" or "homophiles" like we used to. Terms like transvestite have fallen out of common use (though some still use the term.)

We've broadened labels and found vocabulary to describe the shades of difference between genderfluid and genderqueer and agender. Bi and Pan. People who once would have used the same label now use many different labels to express the shades of difference between our experiences. And even within labels, diversity exists. Not all bi people are bi the exact same way. Not all trans people are trans the exact same way. Not all lesbians are lesbians the exact same way.

And other people having a different experience and using different words than you aren't an attack against you. We're all still who we have always been. The community has always contained this diversity. The community has always had people who have a vast multitude of gender and sexuality and presentation queerness. The rainbow is a spectrum.

(Truly, if you have never read our history, especially Pre-Stonewall, it will change your life. I can recommend some great resources if you want.)

He/him lesbians and gay non-binary people and whatever other labels people use? Those people have always been here and are using the language we currently have to best describe their experience to you. Instead of telling them that they are *wrong*, especially during this most beautiful month of Pride, instead- just listen to what they are telling you about who they are and believe them.

We're all in this together. Other queer folks aren't your enemy.

And, as I've said on other posts this Pride Month- there's power in the word Queer. In seeing us all as part of the same word, the same group, with beautiful diversity within that rainbow. All those more specific labels, while useful and wonderful, don't make us wholly different groups. Just different aspects of 1 community.

#queer #pride

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never-seen-again · 6 months

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Redemption and Jägerman: The Half-assed Character Analysis

Hi, yes, this is going to be very long and probably a decently niche thing, so if you don't care about one random person effectively infodumping about how they view Max as a character, I'm not going to make you scroll for too long (aka I'm going to try to put in a break) (this bitch is so fucking long). (Edit: things get serious, so like, if you want things to be light and fluffy just keep scrolling my dude)

So, you've decided to suffer through my madness. Good luck. I'm going to be talking about a few main topics: Disillusionment & Confronting the Problem, Cognitive Dissonance & Rationalization Reinforcing Behavior, and Expectations in Redemption. I'm going to close out with some background info on myself to give context to the POV these ideas are coming from. If only one or two sections seem interesting I'm going to make the sections clearly marked out for better skipping around.

Disillusionment & Confronting the Problem

I don't think Max has heard a single thing he hasn't wanted to hear from someone he wasn't actively dehumanizing in several years. He's been surrounded by yes-men for at least the run of the musical, but almost definitely longer in "reality".

The Jocks we see (Kyle and Jason if I remember correctly) are, from what I've seen, cleansed of most/all culpability based off of their response to Max asked if they should let Richie go unscathed (and their later apologies to Richie and Grace, which are far more important, even if they are a bit half-assed with the 'until max comes back' part). While they do say "ha-ha, Yeah," It reads more as a 'oh, Max asked a question, just immediately agree with him' to me. They don't even stop to think about the content of the question. Blind agreement. I think the fact that neither moves from their position of boxing Richie in says that regardless of what Max asked, the response would've been the same.

These two even follow up with the unprompted commentary on Grace, who prior to Max's intervention in this scene was firmly in the "Loser" category. I bring this up because yes, these two stop the bullying after Max's death. But while Max is undoubtedly the catalyst, I can't be sure he's the cause. We would need to know what Hatchetfield High would look like either a long while before or after Max's influence or an alternate version of it wherein Max was simply never part of the equation to be sure.

(I'm going to go into the Pasqualli's scene and Jason's acceptance of Peter in the next section, so I'm not going to address it here)

While I was in high school, I had conversations, one on one, with people who I would, on large, consider assholes. In these conversations, they were like, decent people. But in their groups, they were still assholes. Could I see myself willingly hanging out with them as they were? No. But were they the people they were when one on one? Maybe. There is something to be said about social pressures to conform, but I won't get into that clusterfuck.

There are very few instances of anyone actually standing up to Max. Peter stands up to him, but he's a "Loser" (A concept I refine in the next section), Jason expresses doubt but doesn't direction challenge Max. The only person who isn't a "Loser" who shows intention of standing up to Max is Steph. Who, on the way to put into motion something that would possibly confront Max, gets pulled into Grace's Bully the Bully plan instead.

Not even adults seem to have put in any amount of work to actually trying to remedy Max's behavior. They just ship him out to an anti-bullying assembly and call it a day. In the Bathroom scene we learn that Max has "cool-kid privilege," in regards to actual disciplinary action, which to be fair likely wouldn't fix anything, but it shows the complacency of adults here if he has literally never been suspended or at least given detention for all the shit he's pulled both within the musical and what we can infer happening before it.

While I doubt Steph alone could break through the yes-men and "Fix" Max with just one conversation, I think she could place a seed of doubt in his mind. And Max isn't dumb. There's only two things that point to poor academics that I can recall: Remedial Algebra, and the tutor. And that doesn't really prove anything. I myself have nearly failed math classes, and I'm really good at math! Knowing this, either Max will either think through enough of the opposition of someone he respects, or he'll dismiss it entirely. Which is our first step toward Redemption.

Cognitive Dissonance & Rationalization Reinforcing Behavior

Max has categorized every student into one of two groups "Loser" and not that. These are somewhat absolutist titles. No one changes groups, ever. Except for Grace. Something I'll touch on later in this section. First I want to talk about this Fundamental Fixedness and how it contributes to my perception of Max. I believe he's constructed a very fragile way of maintaining himself. He's been to enough anti-bullying assemblies to get the gist that hurting people is generally considered bad. Whether that's internalized or not, I don't know. But again, I think he's smart. But he still hurts people. A lot. What if those he brands as "Losers" aren't quite people in his eyes. Still human, still whatever else, but lesser. Able to be abused without consequence. After all, he doesn't get any.

Now, I don't think he was birthed into this world with this conception. I think he trended toward popular crowds in primary education, and became a standard order bully. Emulating the behaviors of those above him in standing at this point, something small at first. Something justifiable. Like beating up a kid who snitched on a friend of Max's. As small actions had to be justified, the gulf between "Loser" and not expanded, to the point of dehumanizing "Losers." Then as he kept rising the ranks of popularity, he reached the top. But then he needed to extend a gulf between himself and the other popular people, to make his position infallible. He became their god (or in "reality" developed a God Complex). He alienated the "Losers" before alienating himself.

Now, what would happen if a "Loser" rose to the rank of not "Loser"? suddenly Max would have to contend with that he's actually hurt someone worth something. And if one person can rise past his labeling, then others could to, and he's hurt way more people than he realized.

But where does this leave Grace? Well, I don't think Max has actually placed her out of the "Loser" category. I think he's giving her special privilege until he gets what he wants out of her. There's a few posts that talk about how Grace's abstinence is a symbol of her faith in the Christian god, and how in sacrificing her chastity to the LiB she also sacrifices her faith to them. What if Max has a similar thought. That in acquiring the 'forbidden fruit' as it were he gains power, or more realistically, a greater sense of control. Max presumably hasn't shown interest before now. He's likely had other games he played for feelings of control.

Now, how could any of this possibly be an argument in favor of Max. Well, the next Step to Redemption would be abandoning the Fundamental Fixedness and taking on the burden of his actions. He has to contend with all the things he's justified under the dichotomy. The only reason I ever considered Max to be redeemable is because he makes it halfway through this step in the Musical. He accepts that maybe these roles can't be Fixed positions, specifically for people he isn't trying to get anything out of. Then he fucking dies. But he does abandon this ideology. Unfortunately the acquisition of supernatural powers and the drunken anger he felt as he died didn't make for a healthy way to handle the resulting dissonance, and instead got him pushed further off of the God Complex Cliff into a 'Yep, I hurt people and that's okay to do, because I'm god and everyone is below me' rather than the arguably healthier 'oh fuck I really fucked up I hurt so many people, shit'.

We see that he has stopped caring who is a "Loser" and who isn't. When Richie stands up to him with the iconic "I'm not a Loser" Max agrees. But it no longer matters. He knows he's going to kill Steph. She hurt him the most. But hurting someone he deemed "Cool" is still something he has trouble with. So Richie and Ruth are his warm up. He needs that time to adjust to hurting people, regardless of their rank. They aren't "Losers" anymore, but he's hurt them before, he can hurt them again with fewer issues. After Ruth, Max just goes wild. He kills Miss Tessburger, the mayor, tries to kill Shapiro, so on and so forth.

Max needs to abandon the dichotomy without going full homicidal maniac. Probably the expected when you don't die and gain supernatural powers that allow you to engage in the one remaining coping mechanism you can actually engage with in death (the coping mechanism is violence, if that wasn't clear).

Expectations in Redemption

Now, even if he does deconstruct the issues he has and how he's exerting control, he still needs to apologize, make efforts to rectify what he's done to those that even want him to continue affecting them, and accept that many will be unwilling to forgive him.

No one has any obligation to forgive him. That is the main thing. The specifics of what would even come close to what Max did being 'rectify' what he's done are beyond me, they'd likely vary character to character. But it is achievable.

Closing Statement

Also, Max is 18. While technically an adult, that brain is so undercooked, and this kid is young. I'm sure most people have done things they regret. Even things they doubled down on at the time. Things that only through hindsight do they realize how poorly they acted. I've acted in ways I don't like that at the time I thought were perfectly justified.

If Max makes efforts to be a better person, he deserves that chance.

Writer Bias and Background

Hi, said I'd do this. I am working with my experiences as my framework. As such, being clear about what those experiences are in a broad framework may help inform you of how much of my opinion you deem valuable.

I've never dealt with bulling to the extent Max inflicted on the students at Hatchetfield. In elementary school I was tripped with an amount of regularity, in middle school some kids poked and prodded me during classes to get a reaction, or to laugh at my lack of reaction despite their actions. In high school I was called a [f-slur] several times and threatened with violence once. My experiences are incredibly mild.

I am presently in college, working towards a psych degree. I have taken very few higher level psychology classes. I am not an expert, I just know some base level stuff about some of the vocab, which I have utilized here. My usage of these terms is based on my present understanding of them. I probably made mistakes.

There may be some confirmation bias occurring, be it from the pretty privilege that max has from being portrayed by an attractive performer, or just a deep seated self-loathing that manifests as a need for characters to have a path to redemption regardless of their failings.

Fuckin' ridiculous that I feel the need to include this but I am a part of the "Michie nation" as it were. It shouldn't really matter, but yeah, this is more about Max Jägerman's ability to become a better person given the opportunity than any romantic entanglements he might engage with.

#nerdy prudes must die #max jagerman #after writing all this it feels like a bad idea #oh well too late now

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unhingedkinfessions · 6 months

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hi hi !!! its me again <3 kin walmart anon :)

after reading other peoples experiences, ive gotta talk about something that ive noticed is a pretty common thing amongst certain types of kin servers. and thats just… blacklists that are both user compiled and extremely strict.

this never made sense to me. especially if said blacklist is 400 miles long and has some of the wackiest shit on it. i actually still have access to the one from kin walmart, here are some of my favs:

- the word “bounce”

- the phrase “bouncing ball”

- mother mentions (all forms: mom, mother, etc)

- oranges (the fruit)

- school/mentions of schoolwork

- therapy

- Talking about private conversations/going to have a private conversation in a public setting

- any mention of the ocean

im also going to say, blacklists are fine. user compiled blacklists are okay but… i think there should be a better way to manage them. especially in spaces that have 100+ members. no hate to anyone who has these triggers either. i just think that there’s a line. there should be a line. and most times, ive found that the line is nonexistent. it should be up to user’s specifically to adjust their experience accordingly. im so sorry that i want to talk about the bouncing ball i stole from dollar general, maybe just dont read the conversation.

i understand that this take can be somewhat controversial, its why i don’t… talk about it without hiding behind anonymity. but i think, especially in kin spaces, blacklists are almost… idk.. taken advantage of?

idk this ended up being more rambly than intended, i just love talking about kin walmart and some of the whacky shit that went on there. stay tuned for our next episode; kin home depot

- kin walmart anon

NO YOU'RE SO RIGHT IS THE THING. there is a point where you need to be responsible for yourself and not place the responsibility/blame on others for not remembering every trigger on a mile long blacklist. you have to know when to step away from a conversation if there's a topic that triggers or upsets you, not demand everyone else conform to You. especially if it's extremely specific (such as the bounce example you gave) or extremely vague and frequently mentioned (moms, school, etc.). there's a lot of issues with those kinds of things and if you're in a Public space with lots of people, you gotta be responsible for your own well-being. it's different if it's a smaller group of friends, of course. there's a difference between 'friends' who continuously overstep your boundaries/comfort and large servers where people are just going to make general discussion about whatever.

the amnt of servers ive been in w mile-long user-compiled blacklists where people throw a gd Fit if you so much as allude to one of the 5000 "problematic medias" theyve put on the bl.... ok not that much actually cuz im thinking of one example in particular i was in multiple servers w. but you know. and a lot of shit can just be like. squicks or stuff they don't like, rather than something that will genuinely trigger them.

i swear some kinnies just can't manage big servers in general. once i was in a server of at Least 100 members - that was not even a kin server, it was for smth else but had a lot of kinnies - where there weren't any like, actual chat moderators (just some ppl who had permissions for unrelated reasons). there was a user-compiled blacklist that was rarely updated w requests, and one day out of boredom & frustration with the lack of organization, i went and sorted the long ass list by Category and Alphabetically. i was not even a mod i just DID THAT. the admins of that server sucked so bad they didn't know how to manage anything and were generally some of the worst people on the planet.

#Anonymous #kin walmart anon #mod bender #kinfessions #sorry this got long. LOL.#i also mirror anon's sentiments that specific/vague/ANY trigger is okay and valid to have ok? you can't control what triggers you #it's just a matter of people making it Other ppls problem. and not stepping away if you're upset. n expecting 100+ ppl to revolve around u #kin server stories

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arashrita · 7 months

Note

Hello there! I hope all is well with you. Congratulations on your milestone~ 🥳�� I was wondering if I could request and have a romantic match-up with an Obey Me character. I might tell too much about myself, so I apologize if you find it lengthy to read. Please take your time doing mine if you have got a lot on your plate~ >//<

I will begin with the basics. My name is Luna, and I am a heterosexual referred to by 'she/her' pronouns. My zodiac sign is Libra, and until now, I have remained skeptical about my MBTI and enneagram results, so I will not disclose it. As for my outward appearance, I am average-looking with a soft and gentle aura, short height, and poor eyesight, so I am wearing rose-gold eyeglasses.

Proceeding with my personality, I am a routine-oriented homebody who enjoys being around familiar people and places and staying in my cozy private space to do my own thing. When it comes to the group setting, I usually take leadership or any important role because I like being included and involved in central planning, inasmuch as I prefer being one of the planners rather than a follower or solely the recipient of that plan. I am conscientious about my goals and responsibilities and have perfectionist tendencies, which resulted in me becoming a consistent principal's honor roll undergraduate student in one of the top universities in my homeland. Because of that, I may appear to be a highly career-oriented individual who does not know how to have fun, but trust me, I am also an idler and procrastinator who prefers to chill, daydream, and waste my time using social media platforms, playing Otome, MOBA, and simulation games, listening to music, or reading fictional romance stories, including girls' love and boys' love or Danmei novels.

In addition, I am reserved with individuals I do not know too well or vibe with but very understanding, easy-going, really bubbly, expressive, affectionate, and humorous with my friends and other people I like. I am a go-with-the-flow person, never a risk-taker, and tend to conform to the rules because I dislike getting in trouble. I do not like being left behind and putting a burden on anyone, so I usually make myself low maintenance and suppress what I truly want. However, I am not very noble that I would stake my life for someone else nor forgiving that I would just sit by and allow someone to trample and treat me like a doormat.

In terms of likes and dislikes, I love plushies, docile cats, having out-of-nowhere insightful and meaningful conversations, squishmallows (I cannot sleep comfortably without hugging one), drinking tea, any desserts, and wrapping myself in a warm and thick blanket like a burrito (since I have a terrible cold intolerance). I do not like dirty environments, tardiness, unnecessary disturbances, sudden problems, and people who jeopardize any group activities through their laziness.

Furthermore, in a relationship, I want it to be simply just being each other's safe space and rest. I am quite a private and low-key person as well, so I prefer if we both have hidden sides and many moments that we only know. My love languages are physical touch because I like cuddles, being hugged (like that big hug where I can bury myself on their chest or neck), and hugging people while caressing their hair, words of affirmation when I am comfortable telling what is on my mind, quality time because once they enter my private space, I feel like I will absolutely love doing almost everything with them, even the simplest and most mundane things, and acts on service because I usually take the initiative to do a task that will lessen the burden on their shoulders or simply take care of them on the simple things.

And that is all~ I apologize again if this is too long. Thank you so much in advance, and congrats again!! ♡

Hey there! I hope you are doing well. I had fun reading. You seem like a great person!

Here, after thinking for a while I think that Satan will be your best match.

If you decide to date then,

You Two will visit bookstores, museums, cat cafès often.

Spend a lot of time in the library.

Late night discussions, long talks and stuff like that.

He will read to you and you might just end up falling asleep on top of him.

Will have upset and downs, he is the incarnation of wrath after all. But I feel like you are the patient and understanding one, so you two will figure it out eventually.

Playing with cats is like an everyday routine.

You can do group projects together.

Overall, a pretty much good relationship considering that he is one of the lords of hell.

#obey me shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x you #obey me dating sim #dating headcanons #satan x reader #obey me satan #just for fun #match up

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kamorth · 9 months

Text

Just as an intro, yes this post reads VERY white. Unfortunately a lot of recent history is only accessible through white lenses and as I myself am about as white as it is possible to be, I don't have another viewpoint that I can write from with any kind of authority. My lack of experience does not negate anyone else's experiences or views.

In the 80s, being punk was how you showed disdain for conformity. NO, I DON'T Want to be Like You THE WOLRD IS SHITTY AND I AM ANGRY. They were the trash that you warned your kids to stay away from because they were dangerous and violent.

Grunge quickly followed suit with Yeah the world is shitty why do what the boring conformist bougies tell you when you can just do your own thing over here instead. They were the trash you hoped your kids got sick of but the worst parents ever suspected of them was maybe a bit of weed and some clumsy make outs, not that big a deal.

In the late 90s (my teens) it was goths. We are so sick of you and your church and shoving it down my throat with pushing for prayer in schools and Christian Pop Rock all over the billboard top 40. That kid is a witch now and You JUST Don't Get It. Depression is my baseline and the idea of being like you is the cause. We were the trash that were just indulging in a phase and would grow out of it, so we could be humored but mostly ignored (unless your parents were hard core Bible bashers, in which case you would get sent to something akin to conversion therapy - since you were also probably Queer it often was just outright conversion therapy).

Then the emos showed up and people started getting annoyed, partly because suddenly there were goths that you COULDN'T ignore for two reasons, they were LOUD about being sad and THERE WERE SO MANY OF THEM. Since they couldn't be ignored out of existence, the Western world decided to collectively bully them instead. They were the trash that was Just So Damn Cringe!

And now poverty is skyrocketing. Homelessness is a plague that has struck so many people who have committed no crime outside of bad luck. Actual fascists are in positions of power. Planned obsolescence and decades of lobbying by the oil industry in favour of petrol and plastics is destroying everything beautiful about this planet.

And Punk is back. Be ANGRY at your politicians who don't listen. Let your anger be heard so that they know you will not accept these ideas. Grunge is back. It doesn't have to be new, it just has to be functional. Work together to make a community you WANT to live in. Goth is back. Mourn for the world we were promised but never saw. Learn about belief systems that are different to the one you were raised in, ESPECIALLY if doing so pisses off your parents. Emo is back. Fuck haters. Cringe is dead. Being comfortable in your own skin means being allowed to do what YOU want, not having to exist for the benefit of someone else.

Before us it was hippies and beatniks and flappers and dadaists and before them there were the coffee shop philosophers and the point is there have ALWAYS been people who want the world to see its own flaws and fix them. I know other cultures had the same sorts of groups, like the Japanese Subekan gangs (who created the original lolita fashion trend as a way to take femininity back from being sexualized) and Islamic Sufism (an Islamic sect who practice things forbidden by stricter groups, such as singing and dancing) but I'm an armchair scholar, not an expert.

When society is broken, our numbers surge.

We are surging.

Society needs us.

#do good recklessly #Because society fucking HATES it #It's all good talking about how the world needs to be fixed #But to change things #You need to do things differently #And people despise change #And counterculture shows them a mirror that tells them they need to change anyway #When you dye and style your hair ''unprofessionally''#When you mend torn clothes with safety pins and patches instead of buying new ones #When you don't wear the make up and clothes from this season's displays during the season they're being displayed #And that's enough to make some bigot scoff at you and treat you as less human than them #You are shoving that mirror in their face #You are asking them what the fuck they think freedom means Earl #And if you can do that safely you should #And if you are as white and straight passing and cis passing as I can be #You are probably WAY more likely to be able to do that safely #So you should #Because there are SO MANY people who can't #ESPECIALLY NOW #YOU ARE NOT CRINGE FOR NOT CONFORMING #Conformity is a tool of those in power #Fight the system by not following stupid rules #And most of them are stupid

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daviddshiki · 3 months

Text

The Adventures of David Dashiki- Awakenings of An African American Hero- IT'S YOU!

Daddy Dashiki Has Dedicated these Pages to and For Me

IT'S YOU!!!

THINGS I LEARNED AND STILL REMEMBER FROM J .J.

Still standing on the corner? It's you. Unhappy with your life? It's you. 29 -30 and still hoping to be the next Lebron James? It's you. Still stuffing burgers and other fast foods down your throat in spite of the doctor's warnings? It's You. Dressing like Beyonce and you are hitting 50? It's you.

You are what you talk about most of the time. You are what you eat most of the time. You are with whom you spend most of your time. Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. Change your mind. Change your outlook. Change your habits. Change your life. Stop following losers. Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. Change is available to you, David and all readers. Simply change the way you think about yourself and your future. Don't conform, transform. Change your focus, change your existence. You are what you actively and vigorously pursue. You do not need to follow your friends down a path to HELL because at the moment it is very well lighted. Change how and to what you devote most of your time. Talk to yourself about the great things you will do in the future because you changed your mind. The mind is not a garbage pail. Great things rarely develop in a trash can. No chance. Within that receptacle , they sour and begin to stink. I have never heard of someone being successful, happy or empowered by shit smelling dreams. Get it right. Reintroduce yourself to your mind. Talk to it about adventure, ambition and achievement. Ask your mind the question, " These great men of thought, and action how can you best emulate them and not build your dreams on foundations of feces?" First and foremost, the outstanding achievers in the world would ask that you transform and not conform. These are the wisdoms I learned as a friend of Johnny. He had charisma. The skill or trait which he possessed in abundance was charm. Transform your mind by making, winning, maintaining and sustaining friendships. Do it all smartly and smoothly.

CHARISMATIC... These are the qualities Johnny taught me by just being my friend. You, too. David, my son, can have a fulfilling life by adopting a charismatic lifestyle. How? Just follow these principles. Here is the fruit. Eat of it.

CARING: Johnny, sincerely, had a deep love for people. They perceived it, felt it and responded in kind.

HONESTY: integrity is the foundation of every relationship. If you cannot establish this early in any relationship with people, abandon it and wait until you have acquired the skill to right the ship. Everyone you meet must sense that you are a person of your word...even when it hurts.

AMBITION: Feel the zeal, enthusiasm, excitement, for yourself and the direction you have taken for your life, Not only that, be willing to assist others on their road to a greater future. All Aboard !!!

READY: There is never a perfect time to help others. Needs arise. Visualize an inconvenient moment as the right time to cement a relationship. Be known as Steady and ready. The rewards to you for being there are immeasurable.

INQUISITIVE: Gain as much knowledge as you possibly can about everything. Nothing is out of bounds. Your insights will be very valuable with your friends who have to do work on unique projects and programs. Johnny showed a means of introduction to any group, "How does that work? The follow-up statement is this, " Ah, Yes! I read something about that in National Geographic." Intro sealed... Nothing arrogant. You are merely asking questions and adding to the conversation. You are inquisitive.

More Fruit of Knowledge on its way. Make your appetite available to it.

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darylscrossbowtwd · 2 years

Text

Revelations (Daryl x reader)

warnings : slight angst (happy ending), injury description, near death experience, sh*ne walsh, shitty writing

Not proof read, let me know if you spot any mistakes!

Constructive criticism welcome!

pairings : Daryl x reader

summary : When you go out to search for Sophia on your own, things don't go quite as planned, Daryl quickly notices your gone and makes quick work in looking for you, when he does he realizes just how much you truly mean to him.

-----------------------------------------------------

You were done,

The only people truly looking for The missing girl were you and Daryl. Recently it was the only thing occupying your time, seeing Daryl so on edge and genuinely worried all the time only made you want to look harder and more often.

Since arriving at the Greene's farm, you hadn't really even had the chance to get to know Hershel's daughters- who were around your age and seemed really kind- but finding Sophia was the number one priority. So, besides ; eating, sleeping and other things such as going to the bathroom, all your time was spent on the young little girl.

The constant searching brought you and the archer closer, you no longer only received nods of conformation and hums of agreement, words and small sentences were also used, full conversations still not quite a thing yet. Putting it down to his reserved personality, you were happy to accept what he was putting on the table, not wanting to push him out of his comfort zone.

Daryl really appreciated the fact you didn't push and pry for more than he was willing to give. At first his lack of conversation was indeed down to his natural solo style, soon that reason just became an excuse, covering the actual reason.

You made him nervous.

All the time he spent with you caused a small 'crush' to develop, of course, the redneck would never admit that because that's what he was- a redneck- he didn't think you would ever reciprocate his feelings. So he kept them hidden, trying not to talk as much as possible so he didn't say something stupid.

He didn't plan on telling you, ever, that was until he almost lost you.

Noticing Daryl over work him self, and not get enough sleep to make up for it, you decided to search for Sophia alone today. You really cared about him, so you gave him a rest. Everyone in your group saw the longing glances you gave him, all the times you spoke on how amazing you thought he was (his tracking and hunting skills, and in general).

Everyone but him.

So when you told Lori what you were going out to do, she thought it was adorable.

"Be careful though, make sure you come back before it gets dark." She spoke while placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Don't worry, I've been out plenty of times supervising Daryl," You looked over to his small camp, separate from the other, "god knows if he would would come back until he found her if it weren't for someone telling him."

Lori let out a small chuckle, "Your right, but still, don't make me have to come lookin' for you."

Now it was your turn to laugh, "I won't, I'll see you when i'm back." You gave her hand a pat, the one still on your shoulder, and headed of to grab a map.

You and Daryl had areas yet to search marked down, deciding to choose a smart option, you went for the closest location to the farm, seeing as you would be alone.

You grabbed your gun and pocket knife and quickly headed for the tree line, trying to make the most of the daylight as possible. Unfortunately for you, your rushed state forgot to check if you had a full round in the gun, and surprise surprise, you didn't...

Daryl was discussing with Rick and Shane about conducting searches for young Sophia, obviously Shane had to voice his opinion on the matter, how he thought she was already dead and they were wasting time. Rick had a more civilised approach to it, still wanting to look for the little girl, having his own child making his sympathise a lot more.

Daryl was at his wits end with Shane and all the insensitive bullshit spewing out of his mouth, “Y’know what, imma go find (y/n), search with someone who actually cares, that way we actualy have a shot at findin’ the girl.” He grabbed his crossbow from the hood of the car they were talking around an headed to look for you.

First he ran into Carol, “Hey, ya’ seen (y/n) aroun’, gonna look for ya’ girl a lil’ more.” He spoke.

“Yes, i just saw her speaking with Lori over in the camp.” A tight smile tugging at her lips.

Daryl gave a small nod, starting toward the camp, before he could get to far he heard Carol shout over to him,

“Thank you.”

Daryl turned, a look of confusion spreading across his face.

“For looking for my little girl, it means a lot.” She smiled at the younger Dixon, to which he replied with a nod of acknowledgement. Continuing his walk over to the small yet cosy camp, his eyes latched onto Lori, but you weren’t there.

“Lori, was (y/n) with ya?” He questioned.

Without looking away from what she was doing, she replied, “Mhm, said she was gonna look for Sophia, give you a break.” Turning around to face the archer, she gave a friendly smile.

It took a minute before it registered in Daryl’s mind,

“Alone?”

“Yeah, figured with how much she went with you, she would know the woods pretty well.” A flash of concern took over Loris features for a moment.

“Dammit! Woman can’t read directions for shit,” He ran a hand over his face, “I’ll go out and track the damn woman before she gets lost, she tell you were she was headin’?”

Lori shook her head,

“No, sorry.” Sympathy was written all over her face, she wasn’t worried, you could handle yourself, but seeing Daryl get slightly worried, a man who is usually- what some people would call- emotionless, didn’t sit right with Lori.

You weren’t to deep into the woods, maybe far enough to consider thinking about heading back. The sun was still shining brightly in the sky, temping you to stay out just a bit longer, the good news was that you hadn’t seen many walkers, only the odd few, slow and weak enough to take down with your pocket knife. The bad news however, was that the lack of walkers was being made up by the considerably large herd heading your way.

“Shit.” You cursed, seeing the cluster of the undead seek its way from behind a large bush.

Managing to take out the first few, who were closer than the rest, with your pocket knife, made you think you had it under control, that was until your knife was tossed when your arm was jerked forward by a very handsy walker.

Fumbling backwards, your hands went straight to your belt pulling out the gun, quickly checking the safety was of, you cocked the gun, aiming for the head of the closest walker. Hitting the targeted area perfectly, you broke out into a small smile, gaining some confidence.

Doing this a few more times, still slowly backing up away from the advancing herd, you gun started to click instead of firing bullets.

“No, no ,no, shit !” Panic set in, realising you were being backed up by a frightful amount of walkers with no weapons, while also alone.

Continuing to put as much space between you and them as possible, you didn’t realise the small cliff edge you were approaching, your attention was drawn away from the walkers when you heard your name being yelled.

“(Y/n)! Watch out!” The person yelled.

Looking to the right you saw Daryl.

“Daryl, thank god!” The feeling of relief caused by Daryl making quick work of all the walkers was short lived when you felt the earth beneath you disappear.

You didn’t even have time to scream as you fell down the small cliff, hitting every sharp rock and wandering branch on the way down.

“Fuck,” Daryl yanked one of the arrows out of the nearest eliminated walker and got ready to fire the final shot, aiming for in between what was left of the decaying monsters eyes, he fired. Not bothering to retrieve the arrow he made a bee-line toward were you had fallen, trying to get a glimpse of you, “Shit, shit, god damn!” He couldn’t see you.

Eyes darting to find a possible, safe, way down, he managed to spot a path that rounded down. Not even sparing a second he dashed for the downhill slope, dodging low hanging branches and protruding bushes.

“Stupid woman, comin’ out by her damn self.” He muttered rather angrily, hints of worry and impatience slipping through his tough demeanour.

Coming to a halt when he reached the bottom of the path, he scanned the area for you, that’s when he landed on you.

Unconscious, sprawled out on the dirty ground. Rushing to your side he immediately checked for a pulse, letting out a breathy laugh when he found one, it wasn’t strong but it was there.

Slinging his crossbow onto his back, he scooped you into his arms, the archer cursed himself for not keeping an eye on you, of course you would take the task of finding Sophia into your own hands, that’s how you were. Always determined to get a task done, especially when a little girls life was in danger.

That was another reason he had fallen for you, your caring nature and thoughtfulness toward anyone and everyone that needed your help, you would risk it all to make sure the people you cared bout were safe and sound, always putting others comfort before your own.

Due to spending the majority of the walk (more like run) back to the camp keeping an eye on the rise and fall of your chest to make sure you were still with him, he hadn’t noticed that he was already back, crossing through the field that separated the woods and the farm.

His head snapped up and he instantly started yelling out to the rest of the group,

“Help! Get Hershel over here damnit!”

Back at the camp, the distant yelling of a very distressed Daryl, alerted everyone. Lori instantly put two and two together and listened to the trackers demands, running to the house to get the veterinarian.

Upon entering Lori began shouting for him,

“Hershel! Somethings happened, (y/n)’s hurt!”

He emerged from the living area, concern written across his features,

“What’s wrong, what happened?”

“I don’t know, Daryl’s coming with her now, i think she got hurt while she was out looking for Sophia.”

Hershel nodded at Lori, heading out onto the porch, were he saw Daryl already making his way up to the house rather quickly.

“Bring her in,” He said to Daryl, guiding him through the house to the spare bedroom were Carl had also spent some time, “Place her on the bed.”

Daryl put you down carefully, making sure not to knock you or move you to fast. He was glancing down at you looking over all the small cuts and scratches adorning your arms, eyes fluttering over to an alarmingly big wound on your head.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Hershel asked.

“Ye’, bunch of walkers backed her up, she fell down a pretty steep hill, sorta’ jus’ tumbled down it.”

“Do you know if she was bit?”

“Nah, she’s fine.”

“That’s good.”

Daryl just grunted in response,

“It’s a good job you got there when you did, any longer and the head injury she had could have been fatal,” Hershel glanced over at Daryl, taking note of the way he was biting on his nail whilst slightly pacing back and forth, “She’s a tough girl she’ll be fine, I’m just gonna clean the wound and stitch it up an’ then I’ll take a look at her minor wounds, feel free to stay if you want.” The old man offered.

The way your state was concerning the archer was clear for everyone to see and Hershel felt as though it would put him at ease to be able to be with you and know how you were doing. In all honesty he didn’t expect him to say yes, with his cold demeanour making him not really seem like the type to over worry about someone he new was i good hands.

However you weren’t just someone.

So he said yes.

You woke up with a pounding feeling in your head, instantly moving your hand to the source of pain, you winced when your fingers made contact with what felt like a bandage rapped around your head.

“Hey take it easy, it’s like you wanna get yerself hurt woman.” Daryl’s voice rang from the side of you, grinning you slowly opened your eyes allowing them to adjust to the light.

“Shut it, my head hurts, the hell happened?” Daryl raised his brow, looking at you with a look you couldn’t quite read.

“Damn near almost got yerslef killed that’s what, found ya’ backed up by a bunch a walkers an’ ya’ fell down a lil’ cliff tryna’ get away.” Was that concern you were seeing?

“Thank you,” He looked over at you puzzled, the man could never take a damn compliment. “ For saving me dumbass.”

“Ain’t got no reason to thank me, if ya’ weren’t so fucked up righ’ now, I would be kickin’ yer’ ass myself for bein’ so damned stupid.”

“I just wanted to give you a break,” Once again that look of confusion returned, you looked away slightly flustered, he was so cute with that look on his face, “Yano, your always lookin’ for Sophia and you never get any time to rest, you work so hard for everyone an’ you deserve a break.”

When you looked back over to him he was already staring at you, he looked as if he was processing your words, like no one had ever said a single nice thing to him and he didn’t know how to take it.

The second the words left your mouth he was in shock, you really thought that?

He didn’t quite know how to respond, him receiving compliments alone was something that never happened, but to hear it from you?

He was frozen.

Maybe it was the adrenaline that was still coursing through his veins from the prior events that made him make the rash decision to say what he did, or the genuine positivity you spoke about him with that made him think you could even have the slightest bit of interest in him. If it wasn’t the words you said it was most definitely the red tint he could have swear to have seen when you spoke about him.

So he took a leap of faith, not wanting to keep it from you anymore, god knows what he would do if next time you were in trouble and he wasn’t there. He corrected himself, there would be no next time because he was never letting you out of his sight again, that is if what he was about to do didn’t actually ruin everything between you.

“I really like ya’ n’ I ain’t lettin’ you do some stupid shit like this again, ain’t loosin’ ya’ too.” He spoke, the last few words especially quite. He couldn’t bring himself to look at you, what if he had just ruined your entire friendship by giving you the burden of knowing his sorry ass liked you? He half expected you to laugh in his face, but you weren’t like that so you’d probably let him down easily.

What you said next he did not expect.

“I like you too, Daryl Dixon.”

That was when he looked up, seeing your red tinted cheeks and shy smile, compelling him to walk over and make another bold move.

The closer he got, the faster you heart went, you could of swore if it wasn’t your injury’s that took you it would be the heart attack you were moments away from having.

The second he cupped your cheek with his hand your breath caught in your throat, he slowly brought his face closer, you could sense the hesitation so you were the one to close the gap, confirming to him that you did indeed feel the same way.

It was a meaningful kiss, not fast and hungry but delicate and loving. When you both separated for air there was a moment of silence, you pressed your head against his.

“If this is now what I have In my life, I wouldn’t risk being stupid enough to lose it.”

#daryl fanfiction #daryl x y/n #the walking dead #twd daryl #twd fanfiction #twd fandom #daryl dixon #daryl dixon imagine #angst #fluff #twd

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kitkatopinions · 2 years

Note

What do you think RWBY stans will do once the series is over, I bet the series will end up being forgotten and the fandom will die while the most diehard fans of the show will go on the streets and force people to watch it at gunpoint.

Tbh, I think the RW//BY fandom will wind up like a smaller version of the Sherlock fandom. There will be a lot of people who did once like the show but recognize its many flaws who every now and again will engage in conversations about it (either to criticize or to praise,) and then there will be the die hards still insisting the show is genius and still doing things like sending people death threats for disliking and/or criticizing the show.

Despite reports of RW//BY's popularity, I really haven't seen that reflected... Anywhere except for in the messages of anons insisting that it's true. There's a chance that IQ will carry its own following and who knows what'll happen with that, but as for the main show, I suspect that any casual fans will die out after the show is over. The fandom is is so split and so hot and cold with a lot of insistence that fans conform (for instance, targeting anyone and dismissing them as toxic haters the second that they criticize anything to do with RW//BY or even how MK//EK and R//T are,) and unlike bigger mainstream things like the MCU or... Idk what's popular anymore, Star Wars maybe, they don't have sheer numbers to make that sort of thing less likely or more easily brushed aside. That probably won't make for an environment where people feel welcome or want to stick around. So yeah, I'm predicting that there will be way less casual fans.

But tbh, I don't think the diehards are gonna spend their time convincing random people to watch RW//BY. I think they'll spend more of their time insisting to themselves and their fellow die hard followers that it was a huge success that millions of people adored and that the fandom would be huge and vibrant and full of outcroppings of love towards the genius writers if the vile, obsessed HT//DM hadn't driven people out.

I think the fandom at least here on Tumblr will end with three relatively small groups.

The people who really cared about RW//BY, who really liked parts of it but are more than willing to admit that the show also messed up a lot and had big problems, who just want to talk about something that was or still is pretty important to them, but have also moved on to focusing on other things as well (meaning less RW//BY specific blogs.)

The die hard fans who (much like in the Sherlock fandom) insist the show was great, that it still has endless supporters, that the show is definitely coming back, and that anyone who doesn't like the show is a stupid lying hater, and any flaws that they can't just pretend away or anything they'll admit didn't sit right with them are totally gonna be fixed once the show gets renewed for another season or gets a movie or something. I can imagine that some of these diehards might do that thing where they tell someone that because they watched a show where fighting and killing happens, they know how to kill people and should therefore be taken very seriously.

The people who engage with the fandom for laughs and trolling, who like to stir the toxic pot and make fun of people.

As for me, I don't intend to stick around long after the show ends, unless IQ really manages to grip me. Although I never fully lose my attachments to anything I've happened to hyperfixate on, I usually... Fizzle out? It gets to where I'll still rant for hours about something and still be passionate about it and might still come back to something to read a few fanfics when I'm in the mood, but for the most part, I just kind of have it in the back of my head (and probably as at least a small part of my personality lol) but no longer feel the need to talk about it a lot or engage with new content. I imagine that after RW//BY ends, it'll join other shows like... Well, like Sherlock, and become something I genuinely care about still, but no longer want much to do with.

#rwde #anti-rwby #rwby-criticism

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melanielocke · 2 years

Text

Alastember - day 9 - dystopian AU

I decided to write dystopian AU that is at least partially related to things that are happening right now and this is set in the UK after TERFs, nazis and other conservatives teamp up and take over.

CW: conversion therapy, queerphobia, terfism

@alastair-appreciation-month

Alastair marked another day in his notebook. Another day of being trapped, another day of this nightmare that would never end. He knew his notebook would be read, so he wrote little of consequence in it. He just used it to mark the days. He worried they might lose track otherwise.

It had happened overnight, people claimed. Something they never could have seen coming. They were fools, all of them. Alastair had seen it coming. This take over had been many years in the making, but people had written these people off as either lone radicals, or harmless in the long run. After all, so many TERFs had never said they wanted this. They’d just wanted people to know what a woman was again, right? And yet they were all perfectly content now, with anyone who did not conform to archaic gender binaries locked up.

They’d come for trans and gender non conforming people first, and when no one had succeeded in stopping them, they’d come for cis queer people too. Alastair was often tempted to say “I told you so”, but he was far worse off than the people who’d watched this happen and did nothing.

He put the notebook away and left his room, which honestly felt more like a prison cell, and joined the others for breakfast. Alastair had tried his best to keep his distance when he’d first been allowed into this group, to not get attached. He’d thought that would make it easier. He’d soon discovered that being here was not a burden he could bear alone.

‘Morning,’ Kamala said, drinking a cup of tea.

The tea here tasted like garbage water and Alastair stuck to water, the only thing here that was mildly drinkable. Kamala had adapted, he guessed. She’d been here longer than him, her adoptive parents were very conservative and had given her up the moment they’d discovered she was a lesbian.

‘Morning,’ Alastair said.

‘We could still do it, you know.’

Kamala referred to pretend dating. Some had managed, some had pretended to be cis and straight for long enough to be let go. They’d have to keep pretending outside in their own lives too for now, but Alastair guessed it was better than this.

He’d considered it too. He might not wish to pretend to be something he was not, but if it could win Kamala her freedom it might be worth it. The problem was, the “therapists” were skeptical when it came to fake relationships, and just to be sure, they’d have to stay for at least two months longer to convince them it was real. They might claim they wanted to cure them, but Alastair suspected they did not, they just wanted them to suffer.

Alastair didn’t think he’d be able to convince them. He looked as numb as he felt, and while he loved Kamala as a friend, he didn’t think he could convince anyone he was in love with her. Nor did he think he could stomach the more physical requirements of proof in a relationship. And if they found out he was faking it, then both he and Kamala would be punished. It had happened before, a trans girl who’d pretended she wasn’t really a girl and when found out she’d been faking it she’d been thrown back into solitary. Alastair wasn’t quite sure how they’d found out, but it was not a risk he was willing to take. Better to stay here longer than go back there.

Alastair had spent his first month here in solitary, alone in the dark and stripped of all his clothes. It was where all of them started. You weren’t let go into the group until you admitted something was wrong with you. While it was easy to lie, Alastair had been proud. He hadn’t wanted to admit anything. It wasn’t until he’d started hearing voices that weren’t there that he’d decided to give in. He wasn’t about to let them drive him out of his mind.

Isolation and lack of sensory input could do that, he’d read about it once. The mind was fascinating that way, and frustrating too. With a lack of input, the brain had no qualms filling in the gaps until Alastair had started hearing the voices of his mother, Cordelia, and even Charles and his father. That had been a while ago, though, and he’d had no strange experiences since leaving solitary.

‘I don’t think I can,’ Alastair said. A pause. He switched to Persian. ‘I want to watch this place burn.’

Kamala didn’t speak Persian, but she did speak Hindi and with practice together Kamala could roughly understand him when he spoke Persian.

‘Me too,’ Kamala said in English. ‘But please be careful, Alastair. I don’t want anything to happen to you.’

Alastair knew Kamala was right. He couldn’t afford the hunger for revenge to consume him. Even if it was the only thing that gave him strenght to stand. He had never been able to rely on hope. A lot of people just believed it would eventually get better, that progress was linear and inevitable. Alastair was not so naïve. He had no reason to believe he’d ever get out of here, that things would get better within reasonable time. And he had no qualm harming the people who had put in in here, who tortured him day after day. He’d destroy them all if he could. It was what he dreamt of at night, it was what occupied his thoughts all day, every day.

The day was no different from any other in here and went by without a second thought. “Therapy” to make him stop being attracted to men, which translated to torture. Being forced to act more masculine, dress all masculine.

Alastair wasn’t yet sure if he identified as a man or something more outside the binary, but he liked experimenting with his gender expression. Here, none of that was acceptable. People treated it like not conforming to your birth gender made you dangerous, made you a threat to children. It was hardly a new sentiment, just something people had left unchecked for far too long.

He wondered where his family was, if Cordelia had been able to avoid being imprisoned in a place just like this. Alastair had been openly queer when he’d been taken, but Cordelia had only just told him about her bisexuality and wasn’t yet out to anyone else. He hoped she and Lucie could stay safe, but there were no guarantees of safety in this world.

He returned to the main hall for dinner, which was typically the blandest English meal any of them could have imagined. No effort, no flavor, and Alastair suspected no hygiene involved when it came to preparing it. He’d gotten sick with diarrhea and vomiting several times since his imprisonment.

‘If you’re not finishing that, could I have some?’

Alastair looked up. He had been mindlessly turning his fork around, and truth to be told he didn’t feel much like eating it. He knew he should, he was growing weaker. But so was Anna Lightwood, and they needed to eat too.

Anna had arrived sometime before Alastair. At first, they had been convinced they would get out soon. After all, Anna’s family had always accepted their identity as a non binary lesbian, and they’d been convinced their family would come for them.

Alastair wasn’t sure if they’d given up, or simply had not found the necessary support to get Anna out. He liked to imagine it was the latter, he liked to imagine Cordelia was still trying to get him out. It was not unreasonable to think Cordelia on her own would be unable to locate and rescue him.

‘Take whatever you want, I’m not hungry,’ Alastair said.

He’d have to stay strong if he wanted to destroy the people who hurt him, he knew that. But some days, even revenge was not enough to keep him going. Perhaps he should take Kamala up on her offer after all.

‘Thanks,’ Anna said. ‘I owe you one.’

‘It’s important to make people owe you,’ Charles Fairchild had told him once.

Alastair had believed him then, had believed that making people owe him made him powerful. Perhaps it was still true in this environment, perhaps even more so. But he also knew what choices Charles Fairchild had made when everything had started going wrong. He’d gone into politics, had kept his identity concealed, and had done nothing to end the atrocities. Alastair had loved him once. He knew better now.

‘That’s alright,’ Alastair said softly. ‘Just be there when we make them pay.’

Anna’s eyes gleamed. ‘Any time,’ they said.

***

‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ Gideon asked. ‘No one would fault you for backing out. It’s much more than we could possibly ask of any person.’

‘I am quite certain,’ Thomas said. ‘I know what I’m getting myself into, I know what they can do to me. But if there’s any chance I can help you guys make a real difference, I will.’

Gideon sighed. ‘I know, mijo. You have the heart of a warrior. And I’m proud of you. But I’m scared too. As your father, I shouldn’t be letting you do this.’

‘You’re not just my father anymore,’ Thomas said. ‘You’re important to the revolution.’

‘Not as important as you, Tom,’ Gideon said. ‘Nor as important as Genie, or Lucie, or Matthew. It’s people like you they will harm. I’m just trying to do what I can to stop it.’

‘So let me do this,’ Thomas said. ‘Stopping them is all I want too. Our latest intelligence confirms Anna is in that facility. This is our best chance to help them, and anyone else trapped there.’

‘I know,’ Gideon said. ‘And you’re right. But there’s no reason the person going on this mission has to be queer for real, I think it would be more damaging for you than for some not queer.’

‘I know, and I’ve thought this through. I know they can hurt me. But it’ll also be a lot easier to infiltrate when I’m genuinely gay.’

Gideon sighed. ‘It’s just that this was not what I imagined for you when you were young. I never thought things would get this bad.’

‘It’s going to get better,’ Thomas said. ‘I’ll make sure of it.’

Thomas wanted to be brave, but truth to be told, he was scared. He’d been too laid back at first, too confident that with going to a demonstration, things were going to be fine. And now Anna was gone, and Thomas’ family had joined an underground revolutionary group.

‘There’s one more thing you should know,’ Gideon said. ‘We have also confirmed a man called Alastair Carstairs is being held in the same facility. He used to run a far left political blog before he was taken, warning people off the dangers and Scott and Vex are interested in him. Getting him out is a priority as much as Anna is.’

Woolsey Scott and Hypatia Vex were the leaders of the revolutionary group. Thomas hadn’t seen them often, but it had been their idea to place an agent in the facility. Thomas had volunteered the moment he’d heard about the mission. He’d been so restless lately, he’d wanted to be able to do something, anything, to help. A dangerous mission had seemed right up his alley.

‘I’ll try to get close to Alastair. Do you have any information on him? Pictures?’

‘His sister Cordelia recently joined our cause,’ Gideon said. ‘She’s still a minor, so we won’t let her join dangerous missions, but you should go speak to her. She has pictures of her brother, and can tell you more about what he’s like. Maybe she has some ideas on how to get him to trust you.’

Thomas nodded. ‘Okay, where can I find Cordelia?’

‘Come, I’ll take you to her room. The Carstairs family is staying here in the headquarters. It’s safer for them.’

Alastair’s family consisted of a woman in her forties wearing a headscarf, the baby she was holding in her arms, and a teen girl with brown skin and dark red hair.

‘Mrs. Carstairs, this is my son Thomas. He’s the one who will go undercover to your son, and we thought it might be helpful if you could tell him a little about him.’

His father left, and Thomas sat down in the Carstairs living space. Everything was a little improvised here, and people only really stayed here when there were arrest warrants out for them. It was becoming increasingly common, and the groups of people targeted were becoming broader and broader. Thomas imagined Alastair’s mother might be a target for her ethnicity as well as her son.

‘Hi, I’m Thomas Lightwood. I’m really sorry about what happened to Alastair, but I’m going undercover in the facility he’s in. I was wondering if you had any pictures and could tell me a little about what he’s like.’

‘Thank you so much for doing this,’ Alastair’s mother said. ‘I’m Sona.’

‘And I presume you are Cordelia?’ Thomas asked the girl.

‘I am. And the baby is Rostam. Alastair’s never even met him, he was taken before Rostam was born. I have some pictures of Alastair on my phone.’

Cordelia took out her phone and scrolled through her album, Thomas looking at it. There were lots of pictures of her and Lucie.

‘I didn’t realize you knew Lucie.’

‘She’s my best friend, we’ve known each other for years,’ Cordelia said. ‘But my family moved a lot, so we mostly talked online.’

‘Lucie is one of my closest friends too,’ Thomas said.

‘Here are some pictures of Alastair.’

Alastair looked like his mother and sister. He had the same brown skin and dark brown eyes, and his hair was ink black and carefully styled. He wore make up in some pictures, dark eyeliner and black lipstick, while in others he wore nothing. Thomas wasn’t sure what he’d expected when his father had mentioned Alastair Carstairs, but he hadn’t realized how beautiful Alastair would be. He told himself to focus, he had a mission.

‘He’s good looking,’ Thomas commented.

‘Very vain too,’ Cordelia said. ‘You won’t believe how much time he used to spend in the bathroom. He can be abrasive and won’t pass up an opportunity to tease me, but he loves us and is very protective of the people he loves.’

‘My father mentioned something about how he used to run a blog?’

‘Alastair writes political essays. Or, well, he used to,’ Cordelia said. ‘Before they took him. He was always very concerned about the situation, some days it was all he would talk about. I know lots of people feel stupid not seeing this coming, or claim that no one could have, but Alastair did. People thought he was crazy, so he wrote online about how dangerous TERF ideology really is. He covered a lot of subjects regarding queerphobia, racism and ableism among others.’

‘Sounds like he’s smart,’ Thomas said.

‘He is,’ Cordelia said. ‘When are you leaving?’

‘In a couple of weeks,’ Thomas said.

‘That’s not long enough to learn a new language,’ Cordelia said. ‘But maybe I could teach you a couple of phrases in Farsi. Even if they’ll punish you for speaking a foreign language, they won’t know you’re really a spy, only Alastair will understand.’

‘I actually speak and understand some Farsi,’ Thomas said. ‘Not well, but Lucie was studying it and I joined her. I can read it decently, but my speech is not so great.’

‘I’ll teach you,’ Cordelia said. ‘And you can always practice with Maman too.’

***

It happened sometime that a new prisoner arrived. They weren’t called prisoners, but it was what they were and so Alastair internally referred to all of them as prisoners.

Today it was a man around his age. Most people here were, as far as Alastair knew they were sorted by age and everyone here was between eighteen and thirty. He had brown hair and hazel eyes and he was one of the tallest men Alastair had ever seen, with a broad, muscular frame. He was gorgeous, and Alastair had to force himself to keep his eyes focused on his plate. The guards couldn’t see he found the new man attractive.

He sat down next to Anna, their eyes wide in recognition. ‘Oh no, not you too Tom,’ they said sadly. ‘What happened?’

‘Long story,’ the man, Tom, said. ‘I’ll tell you sometime.’

‘Do you know each other?’ Alastair asked.

‘Thomas is my cousin,’ Anna said. ‘I thought he was safe.’

‘No one is safe anymore,’ Alastair said. ‘Nevertheless, I’m sorry you’re here Thomas.’

Thomas tried a brave smile, but Alastair could see the anxiety behind it. ‘I’ll be fine, I think. I don’t break so easily.’

‘Don’t say that too loud,’ Alastair said. ‘They will only try harder.’

For the rest of the day, Alastair tried to put Thomas out of his head. It didn’t help that they had “group therapy” today and Thomas had joined them. Alastair always found it difficult to stomach. He never said much himself, but he also couldn’t figure out who was lying and who was genuinely being converted into their awful ideology.

He was about to leave at the end when the leader of the group session caught him by his shoulder.

‘Can I speak to you in private?’

‘It’s not like I could stop you,’ Alastair muttered and he follow the woman back inside.

Hazel was a white middle aged woman with blonde hair she wore in a bun, and always dressed in a business skirt and heels. She was one of those people who pretended to be all nice and polite but were downright evil underneath it all. Alastair always got the sense she enjoyed watching other people suffer, she liked being the one in power. There was a rumor going around she’d been fired from her job years ago for harassing and misgendering her trans colleagues. Alastair wouldn’t be surprised if it were true, most of the women working here had started out as TERFs, and Hazel was especially awful to Anna and all the other trans and gender non-conforming people.

‘You were quiet today,’ Hazel said.

Alastair said. ‘I didn’t had much to say.’

‘It appeared like Thomas was a distraction to you.’

So this was what she was getting at. ‘He’s new. Of course he draws the attention. That’s only natural.’

‘I’m not sure that’s true. I think you’re relapsing. You do want to be able to leave here eventually, don’t you?’

‘I wasn’t planning on spending the rest of my life here, no.’

He also wasn’t planning on spending the rest of his life pretending to be straight, nor did he intend to let any more people suffer through this if he could stop it.

‘Then I think you’ll need more treatment, and you need to cooperate better. We cannot let you go until we can be sure you’re no threat to society.’

That was their justification for all this, that people like them were a threat to society. It was how it’d started, by painting all trans people and then all cis queer people too as potential child groomers and sexual predators.

‘Fine,’ Alastair said because he didn’t know what else he could do.

He left the room and walked into Thomas into the hallway. Alastair knew he needed to stay away from him, that he needed to pretend better in the hopes they’d let him go. But part of Alastair didn’t think they’d ever let him go. They knew about his past, about what he’d written.

‘Alastair,’ Thomas said quietly.

Alastair looked up. ‘I don’t recall telling you my name.’

‘Anna mentioned it. They’re my cousin and they told me about everyone here. Hey, can you walk me to the bathroom? I seem to have gotten lost.’

‘Sure,’ Alastair said. ‘It can be difficult to find. Oh, and make sure you go before bedtime, because the doors lock and you’ll have to use the bucket if you can’t hold it until morning.’

‘That’s gross.’

‘It’s better than solitary,’ Alastair said. ‘Isn’t that where you come from?’

‘I only spent like half an hour there,’ Thomas said. ‘I figured my best chance was to do what they said and then I came here.’

‘Oh. Yes, you were probably right.’

‘How long did you spend in solitary?’

‘Who knows? Time loses meaning in there. I think it was a month, that’s what they tell me anyway. But it might have been a week, or a year. I was very stubborn.’

‘I understand,’ Thomas said. ‘Part of me was tempted, but the only person I’d be hurting was myself. I chose my best chance of survival.’

‘You made the better choice,’ Alastair said. ‘Here’s the bathroom.’

He followed Thomas inside as he needed to go himself too. Thomas was already washing his hands when Alastair left the stall and started washing too.

‘Are they listening to us here?’ Thomas asked.

‘Always assume they’re listening,’ Alastair said. ‘Even in your own room.’

‘Okay then.’ Thomas paused for a moment, seemed to be concentrating hard on something. Then he switched to Farsi, which Alastair was surprised he spoke. ‘I’m a spy for the resistance. We’re going to get you guys out.’

‘All of us?’ Alastair asked softly.

‘We’ll do what we can, but you and Anna are our priority right now.’

‘Kamala too,’ Alastair said. ‘She’s my friend. And then, we burn this place to the ground.’

‘Preferably not with any prisoners inside.’

‘I didn’t mean that literally. Just… make them pay for it, alright?’

Thomas took his hand. ‘We’ll make them pay. I promise.’

Taglist: @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @life-through-the-eyes-of @styxdrawings @justanormaldemon @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @amchara @all-for-the-fanfiction @imsoftforthomastair @ddepressedbookworm @queenlilith43 @wagner-fell @cant-think-of-anything @laylax13s @tessherongraystairs @boredfangirl16 @artist-in-soul @broodyhawthorne

#Alastair Carstairs #Thomas Lightwood #Ariadne Bridgestock #Kamala Joshi #Anna Lightwood #Gideon Lightwood #Cordelia Carstairs #the last hours #fanfiction #dystopian au #alastember 2022

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patiencetakestyme · 2 years

Text

The Cheerleader and the Freak, Epilogue

Epilogue

A/N: This is it! We've reached the end of this story! I want to thank everyone that stuck with this story to the end; it means so very much to me!

If you loved this story, and if you’re interested in reading the other things I’ve written, check out my book: The House of Dormiens by K.A. Saylor. You can find it on Amazon!

As always, thank you for any and all support!

As they emerged from the Upside Down, the sunlight was blinding. It felt so warm and welcoming; she had never been so incredibly grateful to see the light of day.

The group disbanded, but she knew things had changed between them; they had all worked together to overcome this horrible incursion. They had shared trauma now. Though they were parting ways for now—to shower, to eat, to find some sense of peace after a long night and a long battle—they were stuck together forever. These people—Nancy, Steve, Dustin…Eddie—they understood her and her suffering in a way that no one else would ever really be able to touch.

Eddie offered to walk her home, and she readily accepted. On the way, they exchanged battle stories. He couldn’t believe all that she had gone through, and she felt rather similarly about his own excursions.

But she was admittedly distracted during the conversation. Facing the prospect of seeing her mother again…it worried her. She still had “These Dreams” thrumming through her headphones—she would continue to play the song continuously for a few more days, until she could be absolutely certain she was rid of Vecna’s curse. And if there was anything that was going to trigger an episode, it was coming face to face with the woman that was the source behind it all.

But things felt different now; she felt different now. She couldn't explain it, but she was fairly certain she was no longer under Vecna’s curse. She just felt…free, independent from her need to conform to her mother’s wishes and demands.

She would need to explain her absence, but that was achievable; she would merely claim that she had been staying over with a friend from the cheer squad. Her parents would be disgruntled, but she was not worried; she had been a perfect angel in their eyes leading up to this moment—they would undoubtedly punish her for her lack of notice, but in the end, she would survive it. She could survive anything after her time spent in the Upside Down.

What was going to be harder was dealing with them. Her perspective on her parents had changed—not only because of Eddie, but because of the steps she had had to take to defeat Vecna. Experiencing the meeting of their minds—his mind and her mind intermingling, his trauma and her trauma intermingling—it had been enlightening. She had, in essence, ultimately put her emotional baggage behind her. In the end, that had been the trick to defeating Vecna’s curse—or, at least, the hold it had on her. If she processed her trauma, he couldn’t use said trauma against her.

That did not mean that she was completely over what her parents had done to her. It would be with her forever; it was a part of her, and it always would be.

But she could not look at her parents the same way ever again. She could now process just how horrible they had been to her. Even now, looking down at the filthy cheer uniform that she had been wearing for days—it looked like it belonged in a horror movie—she knew her mother would immediately have some passive-aggressive comments to throw her way.

But she had Eddie now. He looked like he had been through war, too. And they had, she realized. Quite the pair they made.

When they reached her house, she felt her palms start to sweat. Already, she could feel that impulse—could hear her mother’s voice whispering to her, telling her that her relationship with Eddie would only bring judgment. She shook her head, locking it down. She pushed herself, choosing not only to refuse to listen to her mother’s voice, but to stand in direct defiance of it. She reached down, holding his hand in her own.

They came to a stop at the front door. She turned the knob, knowing her parents were home and would be watching—knowing they would be confused into silence at the sight of someone other than Jason on their doorstep.

“I’ll see you later?” she asked, with an encouraging nod.

“Yeah, I’d kill for a shower,” he started, his smile enthusiastic—defiant. “But we can meet up this afternoon?” he asked, leaning in.

“Sounds perfect,” she confirmed, with a smile.

Before she could second guess herself—before she could put too much thought into it—she leaned in to kiss him on the lips. She knew he had little warning or time to prepare for this—so she hadn’t expected much from it—but he proved her wrong; he was quicker on his feet than she had anticipated. His hand came up, cupping around the nape of her neck and bringing her in even closer—bringing her in for the sweetest kiss she had ever experienced.

“No conforming while I’m gone,” Eddie pulled back, his joking smile firmly in place.

“Oh, come on,” she started, with an overly dramatic sigh. “A little conforming.”

“Like what?” he spat indignantly, but his smile was still holding strong.

“You’ve taught me a lot,” she conceded. “Now, it’s my turn to teach you a few things.”

“Like what?” he repeated; this time, he couldn’t resist laughing as well.

She thought about it, but only for a second. “Stop selling drugs,” she suggested; she was smiling, but there was an undeniably audacious edge to her tone. She wanted to maintain what had always been true about their relationship: they joked, they laughed, but they also shared serious things they refused to share with anyone else; they learned from each other and became better people as a result. “I don’t need you going to jail.”

“That’s fair,” he conceded, his smile becoming more genuine as he seemed to read the change in the tone of the conversation. “I’ll take it.”

“See you this afternoon?”

He nodded, confirming their plans. She entered the house, closed the door behind her, and approached the kitchen, passing her parents in the process—both of whom were staring, their mouths popped open, speechless. She went right for the pantry and extracted just what she had been looking for: a can of Spaghettios, a now treasured artifact memorializing their time spent at Reefer Rick’s, her time spent letting go of the control food had over her—her time spent finding her freedom.

#stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #eddie munson #chrissy cunningham #chrissy x eddie #eddie x chrissy #edissy

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leosabi · 2 months

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I read yr post and I completely agree... I see people bringing up trans men/'tme'/afab people and 'why they don't have it as bad' and i'm like WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THEM UP!! WHY ARE YOU USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO SHIT ON TRANS MEN THAT SHOWS YOUR WHOLE ASS. THIS HAD NOTHING TO DO W THEM. people who do that shit show that they even see issues about trans women /being harmed/ as a way to create further division! That's not helping the person attacked AT ALL and is only HELPING TERFS.

i also don’t really believe in anybody being tme. i get mistaken for a trans women semi-frequently, if someone discriminates against me bc of it, what am i experiencing if not transmisogyny, even if it’s misdirected? same with butch cis women and cis male drag queens or like…literally anyone gnc, or even GENDER CONFORMING cis women of color, especially in sports. obviously the prime target is trans women and tranefeminine people, but it’s so fucking pervasive in our society that people get caught in the crossfire all the time—and this get frequently brought up in sports and bathroom debates as well. not to be all hippie “we should all just get along and stick together!” but they (conservatives) really do hate all of us regardless of identity or visibility and it has been PROVEN that psyops trying to divide the community from 4chan and other conservative outlets actually do happen in attempt to make us easier to target (as smaller, angrier, more reactionary groups).

but the point is that THIS IS NOT EVEN WHAT THE CONVERSATION IS ABOUT!!!!! trans women specifically are being targeted on tumblr and terfs are being allowed to stay (i literally reported a terf in the self ship community last week and the blog and post is still up.)

damn this is freaking me out so bad 😭 i hate being reminded that like,,.people in the real world want me dead.

im gonna go work on the leosabi apartment in the sims to cool off. maybe ill post screenshots later!

#transphobia #discourse #i hate posting stuff like this. but this is a coping blog also #and getting my feelings out is in line with that ig #sorry about this stuff. i feel horrible for being so negative and combative on this blog

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lunarscaled · 8 months

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I wanna talk about how 5e / bg3 Lyric's time in what was just short of total isolation on their island for ~8 years has affected how they interact with others and their environment in more detail but it's kind of a jumble in my brain so bear with me.

For starters, when Lyric makes The Deal they are somewhere between the ages of 10-11, which is around the peak of brain size development for dfab. The areas of the cortex related to movement and sensation at this age are reaching maturity at this point faster than the ones that are involved in executive control ( processes such as attentional control, cognitive inhibition, inhibitory control, working memory, and cognitive flexibility as well as finer things like reasoning and problem-solving. ) It's after this point in adolescent brain development that environmental and social experiences can have some of the greatest effects; teens take notes on behavior and socialization from their peers. They learn more about reasoning and impulse control, they are refining their personality and behavior and their interests.

( it's also the time where mental disorders can begin to show, and there is a correlation between more Adverse Childhood Experiences and a higher chance of mental disorders. )

But so much of that relies on the people around them, and Lyric doesn't have anyone. Lyric has Zargeicirinth to watch over them only sometimes. Their survival is much in their own hands for months at a time, rarely intervened with by the dragon or his followers, who are often just as scattered to the winds. In a time following an extreme tragedy for them they have to go through it alone, anxious and distraught. What happens then?

"Our need for social interactions is as fundamental as our need for proper nutrition and adequate sleep. Social isolation causes decreased white matter in brain regions critical for thinking and emotional control, and changes in connectivity between the amygdala and frontal lobes is associated with increased behavioral problems."

And Lyric does that for 8 years, only broken up by 1) Zargeicirinth returning for a month or two at a time 2) Lyric's fervent reading of any and all books remaining, over and over, practicing reading them out loud so their speech doesn't decay 3) the occasional visit from Heralds who serve the Dragon, who sometimes spend a brief amount of time ( a week or so ) caring for Lyric, but this is not out of pity but rather reverence for their "Child" position. A feeling of service, essentially.

As a comparison, some recorded symptoms of extended solitary confinement found in inmates are things like:

hyperresponsivity to external stimuli ( noises, lights, smells )

perceptual distortions, illusions, and hallucinations

panic attacks and anxiety

difficulty thinking, concentrating, and with memory

intrusive thoughts, particularly aggressively violent, gory ones

paranoia

So when Lyric leaves the island, they are immediately overwhelmed by the amount of things they have to adjust to: crowds, loud noises, new terrain, new animals, social etiquette they don't understand and never learned, new languages. And when they become overwhelmed, the only way they know how to mitigate that massive amount of whiplash to their nervous system is to: isolate themselves, self-harm, or damage their surroundings. RE: Lyric has a +5 to Deception but +0 to every other CHA stat --- Lyric has never had to lie about themselves. Lyric has never had to perform to expectations: gender, emotional, sexual, any of it. They have never experienced pressure to conform or having to draw boundaries because there was no one else around! To do so now feels impossible for them, so they're always hiding themselves in crowds or shying away from conversation. Lyric looks to other people who are good at manipulating others and has no idea how they do that.

This is partially why Lyric phases in and out of traveling with groups, as well as why Lyric keeps extensive journals with details of everything they experience. Especially because, when alone, they certainly had periods of hallucination or perception distortions. It's all the more important to record things and refer back to them later, draw things they've never seen before and ask what it is. Lyric is doing their best to learn and grow, but it's hard. They are still prone to outbursts; they are still likely to lash out at others and hurt themselves, especially with magic; they rarely get more than a few hours of sleep a night yet are overly reactive to any noises and sounds. Lyric is always, always on their guard assuming something or someone can hurt them and very slow to trust anyone other than their familiar who is always their second set of eyes.

so Lyric traveling with a tight-knit group, or with Tav and the companions, is... difficult. They come off as cold and cagey because they are, but they want to be there. They want to understand people, and relationships, and want to feel safe and not lonely. But all those things are at extreme contention with the myriad of psychological problems they're going through, which can make them hard to get along with or get close to. It takes a lot of patience, and even that patience isn't always rewarded, since they can backslide. But they want to be there. They want to know.

idk where I was going with this I just wanted to like. break it down a little. Lyric isn't just Edgy Rogue Behavior for fun, they're kinda fucked up a bit

#* ooc.#* headcanon.#⋇ NO ONE KNOWS HOW FAR I’LL GO: DUNGEONS & DRAGONS 5E #⋇ I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN KNOWN TO LEAN INTO THE HAND THAT BEATS: BALDUR'S GATE 3 #the kids who are actually adults are not alright.

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